Tumgik
#do you ever think about how mark is haunted by everything that happened in episode 8
crismakesstuff · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
“What if I become him and I don’t even know it?”
4K notes · View notes
cutehotfunnygirl · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
SWEET CAMELLIA.
(full fanfic on wattpad)
"I will be calling the police if you take a step closer to me." You threaten half-heartedly as Eren inches his body closer to yours.
Despite your refusal in sparring with the strange man in front of you, Annie supposed it would do the both of you good.
"Cmon y/n. It'll only be like a minute or so." He whined with a tone of growing agitation in his raspy voice.
It was clear he wanted to get it over and done with just as much as you, but your lack of co-operation was making everything terribly hard.
"I don't even know you!" You utter in nothing but pure honesty.
You were right though, you didn't know him.
Eren squints his eyes at you for a second before starting, "Okay then fine." He blurts with confidence as he stands scarily idle, keeping his sharp gaze lowered on you.
"I won't hit you.....but you have to hit me."
He's finally lost it.
"What..?"  You mutter slowly, dragging on the 'a' sound and looking at him as if you were looking at your classmate after they'd just asked the teacher if you'd had any homework.
It was as if suggesting such idiotic ideas was some sort of reflex to him.
"I don't have all day." He states, now shifting his eyes away from your figure but off into the abyss - allowing you to really think about whether or not you'd take him up on his offer.
It wouldn't kill you right?
You'd finally be able to improve your fighting skills and it was an excuse to let out all your built-up anger on him without having to face any repercussions.
Truthfully speaking, it was a win-win.
"Fine."
You admit quietly, just before putting yourself into what people would perceive as a 'fighting stance'.
In response of your agreement to his wild suggestion, Eren immediately returns his stern gaze onto your frail, yet also tempting body, chuckling to himself.
But before he could fully divulge himself into an actual laughing episode, you'd steadily barged yourself into his chest, causing him to stumble back a bit.
After watching Mikasa and Annie spar very intently, you were able to pick up on a couple of things.
One, never loose focus, two, never loose balance.
"What the fu-" The brunette groans in pain as you slide tackle him onto the ground using your strong right leg.
Eren just so happened to be breaking the both of those rules.
"Naaah man." He begins, rubbing his back irrationally, "You're so lucky we weren't actually sparring."
"That's crazy coming from someone who just got floored." You say playfully, lowering your arm to give him a hand.
play salvatore by lana del ray
But just as you were about to help him, he pulls you onto his chest, slightly covering your body so you wouldn't face as much impact as he did when he was forcefully pushed onto the ground.
"If I can't win then neither can you."  Eren mouthed slyly, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.
Yet you just stared at him, stared at him frozen, paralysed and haunted with the confusion as to how you even ended up in this situation - almost admiring him.
The way his breath faltered sluggishly in the midst of the moment, the way the pupils in his addictive viridian green eyes would grow as his chest heaved up and down, marrying you to the silence.
Something about him was just so alluring in this setting, in this uncanny encounter.
Being on top of him like this, with no disturbance except from the beating of his heart and the pumping of blood in his veins.
Was this the peace and bliss you'd been helplessly searching the world for?
The man below you - Eren Jaeger, had he picked up your palms and placed euphoria into your hands?
"Y-you're staring." He whispers to you softly, even though he was doing the same.
He himself was also irrefutably drowning into the trance known as your beauty; taking in each and every mark or spot that resided on the surface of your gentle face, noticing the way the tips of your hair would curl ever so slightly, and how it seemed as though your glistening eyes were mixed with a sense of doubt, tranquility and agony.
Who are you when you're not pretending?
He asks himself, yearning to know more about you, to know more about how it was possible for him to feel so complete right now.
You gently caress the scared temple of his skin, leaning eagerly forward and pressing your welcoming lips onto his.
Impulsively, he took you in, accepting the invite and wrapping his arms comfortably around you like a wedding band, deepening the kiss.
"We shouldn't be doing this. I- You don't even know me." You mumble in between breaths, yet never pulling away.
"I know...I know."  He whispers lowly, obsessed with the feeling.
But unfortunately for the both of you, every marriage has to come to an annulment.
"Eren! Y/n! Someone broke in!"
57 notes · View notes
geniepuppet · 1 year
Text
(Totally Not) Lore Moments in Puppet History Season 5 Episode 1
❗Spoilers ahead❗
I might be using this for an eventual lore breakdown of the episode, so stay tuned!
*some things that may or may not be significant are marked with an asterisk
The Professor is marked as "P", Ryan is marked as "R", and Sara is marked as "S"
----
[0:04-2:06] Seasons 1-4 lore catch-up
----
The Professor's voice sounds slightly muted/muffled throughout
----
*The Professor's blue is paler throughout
----
[2:33-2:51]
P: "I know it looked like maybe Ryan Bergara murdered me at the end of last season by hurling my sexy little body back to the Cretaceous period. But clearly, I am here now, and unharmed. So it, of course, did not work, and I wont be answering any questions because there aren't any questions to be answered. Simple as that, ok?"
---
[3:09-3:21]
S: "This, so, hmm..."
R: "The last time I saw you, you were getting sucked into a cosmic butt hole."
P: "Ho-ho, yeah, that was a whole thing."
R: "And now you're here."
P: "Yeah, I guess I am."
----
[3:31-3:45]
P: "Hey, man, you just gotta roll with it."
R: "The whole internet was angry at me for a whole year for killing you, and you're not dead."
P: "Well, maybe you shouldn't have killed me, huh? You ever think about that?"
R: "I didn't kill you though."
P: "I mean, it's water under bridge, man. Let's get over that bridge and go learn some stuff, huh? How's that?"
----
[3:46-3:51]
R: "Wait, wait, wait, wait. Am I dead right now?"
P: "No, you're not dead. You're very alive."
----
[4:28-4:30]
P: "(echoed) You like meat, Ryan?"
----
[4:41-4:45]
R: "So we're just talking now?"
P: "Yeah, we're just talking now. Get with it."
----
[4:45-5:02]
S: "Professor, what's up with that box?"
P: "Don't talk about the box."
S: "I mean, it looks cool."
P: "Don't look at my box!"
R: "What's going on with it?"
P: "Don't touch the box!"
P: "I'm not gonna touch the box, I just..." (reaches out to The Professor)
(The Professor recoils away and snarls at Ryan)
P: "Don't touch me."
R: "Okay."
----
[5:03-5:06]
R: "Kinda happy to see you."
S: "I mean, boundaries. You guys have been through some stuff."
----
*[6:31-6:37]
P: "I feel like the military's a pretty rough gig on account of having to take human life."
----
*[7:03-7:05]
R: "I just don't want to kill people."
----
[8:39-8:41]
(echoed) (The Professor does an evil laugh)
----
[9:07-9:12]
P: "(echoed) The learning has begun! Ready your quills, my beauties!"
----
[9:58-10:02]
S: "You're so mirthful this season. You just happen-"
P: "Well, I'm alive! (laughs) It feels good!"
----
*[10:10-10:17]
P: "Oh, we got my b-boys out there! I can't remember what this bit is. Do we play basketball noises?"
R: "I don't think we ever did b-boys, it was c-dogs."
----
*[11:37-11:39]
(high-pitched laughter in the background)
----
*[12:58-13:06]
P: "Or C. Not enough meat! Also questioning its very identity and everything it represented."
R: "Huh. Interesting."
----
[13:08-13:14]
P: "Ryan, how you been?"
R: "We doing this right now?"
P: "(glitching) I guess we don't have to."
----
[13:40-13:52]
P: "Point to the beef boy!"
R: "Sure that will somehow not count."
P: "Don't worry, we'll see what happens. It's all up to the algorithm. You know that algorithm machine is running (echoed) better than ever this season!"
----
[14:03-14:19]
P: "The public still demanded their meats, but there was simply not enough (emphasized) flesh. Supple, life defining flesh."
----
[16:54-16:58]
P: "I know cows are big, but what if we had some even bigger, (emphasized) fleshier source of protein?"
----
[19:42-19:56]
(click)
P: "What? Uh oh, is something falling?"
S: "I don't see anything."
P: "Okay."
R: "This place haunted?"
S: "The ghosts were in the studio all along!"
R: "I don't know. The Boogoo machine back at Watcher HQ is a long way away from here."
----
[19:55-20:05]
(crash)
R: "It was at that moment that our audio recorder picked up this dinky little noise."
(sound of something falling)
----
[20:05-20:21]
P: "The Boogoo containment unit."
R: "You know a lot about ghosts, Professor."
P: "Yeah, I do."
R: "Are you a ghost?"
P: "(halfheartedly laughing) What kind of question is that? Come on."
S: "Oh, yeah, because..."
R: "You got eaten by a dinosaur, I think that's a pretty fair question."
P: "I mean, I went through some stuff."
R: "You mean death?"
----
*[20:53-20:54]
P: "Where's his fuckin' people?" (referring to the people puppets)
----
[21:48-21:49]
(echoed) (The Professor exclaims upon reentry)
----
[24:28-24:45]
P: "(laughing) Can you imagine having to sit next to a person who has explicitly tried to kill you while you educate people about hippos? (laughs darkly)"
S: "What?"
P: "Just kidding! (laughing)"
R: "I didn't try to kill you."
----
[27:09-27:21]
(The Professor "deflates")
(The Professor "reinflates")
S: "Oh! Didn't like that."
R: "Yeah, I don't know what that was."
P: "I was just taking a nap."
----
[27:35-27:42]
R: "Communication is important. Like something that a genie tells you will not happen and yet, does."
P: "Always gotta read the fine print on these things."
----
[30:58-30:59]
P: "(echoed) What do you got?"
----
[31:28-31:37]
"(echoing) But a word of warning, not everything on this stage is as it seems, ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo."
R: "Like that box?"
"(echoing) Shut up."
----
Theme of faked death, disguises, and pretending to be someone else
----
[37:03-37:06]
R: "Like your tombstone, Professor."
P: "We'll get there, yeah."
R: "That's what yours read. I didn't write it."
----
(Puppet special performance (Hippo) was an already-living creature, aka it didn't need to be brought to life by The Professor)
----
[42:00-42:14]
Ryan wins History Master
----
[42:21-43:08]
P: "We've actually had a supply chain issue with the trophies this season, so we don't have a Coveted Cup for you, but come get your prize! Here it is."
S: "Ooh, what's that?"
P: "The official moisturizer of History Masters! Here you go, buddy. Come get it. Come on! Yes, it's real!"
...
P: "Congrats!"
R: "Wait, what?"
P: "You okay?"
S: "What's it say?"
R: "Puppet cream. It's for champs. Apply daily."
P: "It's for champs! Make sure you use that a lot! You gotta moisturize that skin of yours. Put some on, yes. Put it on the skin. There you go. Get that in. Rub. Rub. Rub."
S: "It's a weird episode."
R: "Rub."
----
[43:27-45:12]
Ryan is at Watcher HQ at night, looking into The Professor's Cretaceous adventure.
Ryan changes tabs to BidBitch to view the Genie's lamp, only to be outbid. He places another bid on the lamp.
There's the sound of something behind him, and then footsteps with an accompanying shadow.
Ryan steps on a fallen Professor plush, sounding off the voicebox ("I'm dead!")
He picks up the plush & looks at the shelf of other plushes ("Puppets give me the creeps.") Ryan tosses the plush behind him as he leaves.
The plush centered on the shelf's eyes shoot to camera.
Once the lights go out and Ryan is heard driving away, the same plush's eyes illuminate a blue glow before the scene cuts
38 notes · View notes
benoitblanc · 2 years
Note
hi! what do you think are the most well done plot twists in any media?
ooh i like this one! (and i have many answers!) i'll slap it under the cut to prevent spoilers!
SPOILERS FOR: agents of shield, knives out, stranger things 4, the haunting of hill house, doctor who, and several agatha christie novels
ask me anything!!!
PLOT TWISTS IN TV:
everything about the last third of season 1 of agents of shield is, i think, the greatest plot twist of all time. my GOD. i KNEW what was going to happen and i STILL lost my mind
the reveal that river is amy and rory's daughter on doctor who never gets old. river haters can die angry i will defend river until i die
the nesting doll of reveals surrounding jamie campbell bower's character in the most recent season of stranger things could have gone SO wrong, but it was done SO well
i didn't list this in the spoilers warning because it's more of an every single episode thing, but in every episode of leverage when you think the marks have outwitted the team and then the flashbacks happen showing how the team was on top of it the whole time... poetic tv
and an honorable mention to the reveal that nell is the bent-necked lady on hill house, because i knew it was coming so it didn't hit me quite as hard, but i think it would have been really shocking to go into blind
PLOT TWISTS IN FILM:
just... everything about knives out. yes, you can see it coming if you're looking really, REALLY carefully, but that's part of what makes it so good! the clues are all there if you can see them!
PLOT TWISTS IN BOOKS:
pretty much every book agatha christie has ever written, but especially the murder of roger ackroyd and murder on the orient express. imagine having the balls to completely upend the entire murder mystery genre not once but TWICE during your career. queen shit
6 notes · View notes
all the even numbers from the halloween game too :3 (kittyandco)
KITTYYYY thank you so much!!!! I'm gonna do this with a friend, if that's cool– everyone say hello to Mr. Snicket :D
2. is your f/o from a horror movie/game/series? if not, would you make an AU where they were (like a vampire AU or something similar)?
...could A Series of Unfortunate Events be considered horror? there are certainly implications that inspire horror in me. Multiple settings have a gothic vibe to them– Olaf's house, most notably. I think All the Wrong Questions is close to the mark also– dried-up town getting worse by the day, drugging children, multiple shades of abusive authority, literal monsters, steady unease creeping towards an upsetting climax (both in the sense that it flips everything preceding it, the entire series, on its head, and also that I'm still thinking about it years after I read it). "Those weren't my parents," still makes my heart fucking DROP into my stomach that's how the FIRST CHAPTER ends they DID THAT they set that TONE AUGH
anyway. Lemony Snicket is a ghost. The only supernatural element I could ascribe to this series is haunting because all of the books are already permeated with the sense of it. It's all ghosts.
4. what would be your f/o's favorite horror/halloween themed film?
Oh god this is going to be really hard because he totally knows and watches more movies than I've ever heard of. We watched Onibaba together recently, and while I don't think he was as into it as I was by the end, we had a fun conversation about the familial dynamics and wartime setting and folklore and all that jazz. (I thought the movie was super cool btw.)
I can't remember what the conversation was, but he mentioned off-handedly something about a movie where the young heroine shared her name with the villain (as well as blood), and I've read some interesting things about it, so I think we'll be watching Shadow of a Doubt together soon. Hitchcock makes him miserable, but in a way I think he enjoys? It's the knowing-the-bad-thing-is-going-to-happen of it all. He can't keep away from it.
6. do you and your f/o attend any parties/festivals/other events? this can be either for halloween or just for celebrating the fall season!!
Lem's not the type of guy you would take as a party person, but he has a surprisingly wide social circle. He's met a number of wonderful, eccentric, creative people, and a number of them haven't died yet. A subsection of those have the good sense to distrust the reputation that has been built up for him, and when they find out that the rumors of his death have also been vastly exaggerated, he gets invited to a number of events! Autumn is a pretty busy time for observances and holidays and that sort of thing. He introduces me to plenty of interesting people and customs, and I buy him pumpkin rolls and make him come with me to take bad pictures in the woods. It's a good time to spend together.
8. if your f/o is from a series that has a special halloween episode, please tell us about it and how your s/i fits into it!
...the third ATWQ book might be vaguely fall-adjacent. It's certainly a back-to-school story. And there is a hayride.
All grown up, I could see he and little Bea doing something sweet for Halloween. He takes her trick-or-treating in a costume she made herself and they retire early to eat candy and put on some old black-and-white screamers. It's very mundane in a way that does in fact have him blinking back tears for the entire night until Bea heads to bed. He sits down to pen me a letter late that night. Next year, I get to tag along with them.
(thank you so much!!! <3)
1 note · View note
venhedish · 3 years
Text
Ven’s Masterlist of SPN Fic
I write mostly pre-series and early seasons Big Feels™ Wincest fic. There’s a lot of angst and pining here, but plenty of love and devotion mixed in with the darkness.
I always deeply, deeply appreciate likes, kudos, comments, and reblogs!
Wincest Fic
Stand-Alone
Yesterday is a Ghost I Believe In ~4.1k, Teen, Pre-series, Epistolary, Multimedia, Experimental There's an old shoebox under Sam Winchester's bed. It's been there almost as long as he can remember. He doesn't look inside it very often, but when he does, he takes his time. A multimedia collection of letters, journal entries, pictures, and other ephemera from a life on the road. .
That Monster, Love ~2k, Teen, Pre-series, POV Outsider, POV John Winchester, John Finds Out, Angst “You think you’re doing your boys any favors, raisin’ ‘em like this?” .
To Cure My Lonesome Blood ~8.8k, Explicit, Pre-series, Pining Dean, Angst, Bittersweet Ending Dean’s been sick since before either of them was born. The disease is incurable, written into his blood – the same blood he shares with his brother. If he’s not careful, the fever will spread like a fire and consume them both. .
Like Sand, Like Water, Like Sunlight ~1.7k, Gen, Pre-series, Mutual Pining, Angst, Pre-Slash Sea birds circle overhead and Dean wishes he had a camera. Sam looks so young, all of twelve years old, and exhilarated. Dean wants to hold this image in the chambers of his heart, but his pulse just carries it along; time is cruel that way. .
The Space Between Sense and Memory ~4.8k, Teen, Pre-series through Season 1, 5-and-1 Things There are a hundred unwritten rules on all the acceptable ways brothers should touch each other. There are hardly any ways at all to break them. Or; five times they follow the rules and one time they don’t. .
Every Goodbye, all at Once ~900, Teen, Pre-series, Stanford Era, Pining Dean, Angst, Epistolary "Hey, It's Sam. If you're looking for my dad, you can reach him at 866-555-9352. If you're looking for me, leave a message." A series of voicemails Dean leaves at the number Sam left behind. .
Breathe You In (Choke You Down) ~6k, Explicit, Season 01, PWP, Scent Kink, Guilty Dean Winchester Once Sam was gone, Dean missed him in a way that was all-consuming, all the way down – so deep in his bones that he shook with loneliness some nights. And it was the familiar scent of his brother’s hair where it tangled warm against the pillows, his pulse beating under his skin and sending the fear of the hunt wafting off of him in waves that Dean struggled to hold onto the hardest. Dean really likes the way Sam smells..  .
Dawn is Coming (Open Your Eyes) ~5k, Explicit, Season 01, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together In which Sam and Dean suffer new wounds and stitch old ones back together. There’s an awful storm, a dead monster, an injury, and a whole lot of feelings. .
You put the Magic in Me ~9.1k, Explicit, Season 02(ish), Sex Pollen, Porn with Plot, Casefic “This is the weirdest thing we’ve ever done for a case,” Dean says under his breath, leaning into Sam and scouting the crowd gathered around a dozen tables inside the little café. “Dude, relax,” Sam says back, eyebrows raising at his brother’s nervous energy. “I thought this would be, like, your thing.” He gestures vaguely to the women milling around inside. A long, vividly red banner hangs across the open french doors that lead into the space, emblazoned with the words The Oolong Tea Room Presents: Lonely Hearts Club Speed Dating! Feb 11-14th! Or; in which Sam and Dean learn a thing or two about chemistry. .
The Stars are not Wanted Now ~2k, Teen, Season 02, Episode Tag: s02e21 All Hell Breaks Loose, Angst, Death Rituals There was a body on the bed.  It had been there long enough that the slanting light of morning crept into the room like an unwelcome invader and washed the world in a dream-shade of palest blue.   But there were no dreams here; only death, only memory. The body on the bed was all that remained of Samuel Winchester, who had died in his brother’s arms the night before. .
Demi-Gods and Hungry Ghosts ~5.8k, Explicit, Season 03, Episode Tag: s03e11 Mystery Spot, Dark, Dub-con, Hurt No Comfort This dream-state of living on pause and rewind leads to some interesting avenues of thought that Sam doesn’t mean to travel, but after a certain number of unrelenting Tuesdays, they just become inevitable. If Dean dies every day—if his memories are wiped, or if they never happen at all—what could Sam get away with, if he wanted to? Could he dare to find out?  .
In Sanguine Vita Est   ~5.2k, Explicit, Season 04, Knifeplay, Dean’s Hell Trauma, Hurt/Comfort Everything was different now. Dean was here—back from the fucking dead—but he was a stranger in his own body. Scars gone, aches from broken bones that hadn’t set right vanished back into the void as if they’d never existed at all. He’d become a stranger to the whole world. He’d become a stranger to Sam. _ Dean asks Sam to help him heal after he returns from Hell. .
All Heartless Spectres, Happiness ~5.7k, Explicit, Season 06, Episode Tag: s06e06 You Can’t Handle the Truth, POV Outsider, Angst, Soulless Sam Lisa Braeden receives an email with the subject line, "You Deserve to Know." It contains a single video file and nothing else. .
The Rungs of Me be Under You ~1.6k, Teen, Gencest, Post-Bunker, 2nd Person POV, Queerplatonic Sam and Dean, Non-Sexual Kink What they share has never been easy to define. Why should this be any different?  .
Wincest Series The Top/Bottom Discourse Series (Ongoing) [Each story is canon compliant and listed chronologically, but they can all be read as standalone works.] This series was born originally from a silly meta post I made on Tumblr as a response to some very angry top/bottom discourse I was seeing about how only Sam could truly be A Top™, or how only Dean could truly be A Top™. I personally like to kink and let kink and not drag outdated gender politics into my fandom (Dean can't be a bottom because he's too masculine? Ice cold take, bro), so I wrote a filthy little tongue-in-cheek post about all the ways I think Sam and Dean have fucked each other over the years.
 I’m Thinking About Whatever You’re Thinking About ~5.1k, Explicit, Pre-series, PWP, Bratty Sam, Exhibitionism, Fear of Discovery Sam is such a brat, sometimes. .
 Shoot to Thrill ~6.7k, Explicit, Season 02, Porn with Plot, Hustling, Getting Back Together It's just like riding a bike. .
Burn Out The Night ~4.9k, Explicit, Season 08, Porn with Plot, Car Sex, Light BDSM, Fluff What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. .
Destiel Fic
Love Made a Martyr of Me ~500, Teen, Season 05, Endverse, Past Sam/Dean, Angst Sam says yes in Detroit, and in the space of a single syllable, there's nothing left in Heaven or on Earth for Dean to love. Cas doesn't seem to care. .
The Sharp Teeth of the One You Love ~2k, Teen, Season 05, Endverse, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Pining “Quit bein’ a baby, Cas.” Dean’s hands were covered in blood, but they were steady as always while he worked to stitch Castiel back together. “I’m sorry,” Cas growled between gritted teeth. “I don’t exactly have a lot of experience feeling pain.” He hissed again when Dean slid the curved needle back through the eight-inch-long gash that ran deep and bloody down Cas’s bicep. Castiel learns something about what it means to be human. .
Wincestiel Fic
Temerate ~700, Teen, Season 05(ish), Past Sam/Dean, 2nd Person POV, First Time Your brother is sitting in the corner of the motel room. His big hands are worrying at each other; he squeezes them together, fingertips white from the pressure of his grip. He meets your eyes and his gaze is like a lightning strike. .
Dean/John Fic
Cruore ~1.1k, Mature, Pre-series, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Blood, Intrusive Thoughts Bites, Dean could deal with – claw marks and broken bones. But this- ... a bullet was a different kind of monster altogether. .
Supernatural RPF
Il Cielo in Una Stanza ~4.4k, Explicit, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Getting Back Together, Prequel-Gate, Polyamory, Non-AU Jared Padalecki receives a present he wasn't expecting at all for his 39th birthday. . 
Other Supernatural Fic
Bad Things, Better Reasons ~2k, Explicit, Pre-series, Dean Does Sex Work, Angst, Brotherly Love. Dean does whatever it takes to keep the bills paid while John is gone. The kid waiting for him back at the motel room is all the justification he’ll ever need. .
No Was Her Name ~1.3k, Teen, Season 12, Dean/Mary, Light Angst, First Kiss Mary Winchester was alive. She was solid—made of skin and blood and bone—and she existed in the same world as Dean. It wasn’t a dream; she walked and talked and breathed. She ate, she slept, she wandered the halls of the bunker at odd hours. She was a ghost made flesh, and Dean was haunted by her presence. .
43 notes · View notes
sagamemes · 3 years
Text
the sheridan tapes  📼  part one.   here and under the cut, you can find a little under 120 lines of dialogue from the horror podcast the sheridan tapes, specifically from episodes one to three, edited for roleplay purposes.  tw: police, murder, supernatural elements, mentions of apocalyptic scenarios, near death experiences, injuries, vehicular crash, recreational drug and alcohol use.
❝  jesus, [name]. you’re not making this easy, are you?  ❞
❝  makes you wonder... do these things follow me because i chase them, or were they always following me?  ❞
❝  darkness and complete disorientation does a number on the human brain.  ❞
❝  i don't think he was a werewolf.  ❞
❝  i’d call it the customer service smile. you know, the one that says  ‘ thank you for shopping with us, please die now ’.  ❞
❝  i’ve found the more showy the text, the less impressive the actual phenomena.  ❞
❝  my job here is kind of… shaky at the moment.  ❞
❝  [name] was also engaged in the study of the impossible in his free time.  ❞
❝  so it’s just me who drives you up the wall then?  ❞
❝  well, you’ll be happy to hear i haven’t been having any fun. no weed, no ghosts.  ❞
❝  there hasn’t been a new lead on her case in more than half a year.  ❞
❝  so here i am, wrapped up in a blanket, staring at my little fireplace, so bored i actually decided to call my sister for once.  ❞
❝  it’s a little town near bandon. very little. nice little mini-market, and that’s about it.  ❞
❝  i doubt i’ll sleep much tonight. that’s okay. i just feel like looking at the stars for a while.  ❞
❝  it's probably for the best. i am simultaneously exhausted from the drive and absolutely wired from the coffee.  ❞
❝  i wonder if there will still be ghosts out there when that happens?  when the earth is gone?  ❞
❝  glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself, then.  ❞
❝  knowing doesn’t make things any easier, but it does make them a little less frightening.  ❞
❝  that’s all just a lazy way of saying that the real explanation is too difficult—or too horrible—for them to accept.  ❞
❝  it almost killed me, but in the end it settled for putting me in pt for a year while i figured out how to use my hands again.  ❞
❝  he muttered something about my time being up. or maybe he said it wasn’t up.  ❞
❝  i don’t really care that i didn’t get any writing done today.  ❞
❝  nothing. not a single idea worth writing down, no itch i needed to scratch or question i needed to answer.  ❞
❝  guess there really is no such thing as bad press.  ❞
❝  i have no idea what a writer’s  ‘ process ’  usually looks like, but i’m pretty sure it’s not this.  ❞
❝  see what i have to deal with?  god… siblings, am i right?  ❞
❝  what can i say?  i have a soft spot for gothic architecture.  ❞
❝  computers have never been very good at reconciling paradoxes.  ❞
❝  they’re pretty much over funding my little expeditions.  ❞
❝  that kind of smile doesn’t normally show that many teeth.  ❞
❝  you know, that’s only scary the first few times you do it.  ❞
❝  one day, it will be dead. one day all the stars will burn out, go dark and silent. one day, everything will be so dark and so cold that no new stars can ever be born. the old ones will blink out one by one, like candles going out, and then… nothing. silence. darkness. void.  ❞
❝  the simplest explanation is almost always the right one.  ❞
❝  i don’t remember getting in my van, putting the key in the ignition, or speeding away from that house, but i must have.  ❞
❝  no, no, i’m fine, i’m fine, just go bother someone else.  ❞
❝  i haven’t eaten, moved, or written anything all day.  ❞
❝  but maybe that's just the fact that it is two in the morning and my brain is running mostly on caffeine.  ❞
❝  given how good a [job] he is, i know it’s not the first time he’s done it.  ❞
❝  i escaped, but i knew that whatever was in that house has just marked me as prey.  ❞
❝  calm down. think. you’re just going to confuse yourself.  ❞
❝  just wanted to tell you a couple of us are headed out to marvin’s for drinks if you want to come.  ❞
❝  one of the most disappointing things about living in america is the lack of genuinely haunted houses. out of all the supposed haunts i’ve visited, maybe one in ten seems like the real deal.  ❞
❝  sounds… peaceful. not many distractions, then?  ❞
❝  something tells me this tape wasn’t played in court.  ❞
❝  one of the neighbours must have called 911.  ❞
❝  my infamous accident. it almost killed me.  ❞
❝  i just woke up to footsteps in the kitchen. i don’t know who, or what, but there’s someone in here with me!  ❞
❝  could you shut the door on your way out, please?  ❞
❝  uh, wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon.  ❞
❝  the fire that i said went out?  yeah, it just started burning again.  ❞
❝  so i asked him to lie.  ❞
❝  it'd really be just a few of us. maybe me and [name] and one or two other tagalongs…  ❞
❝  apparently, the press had a lot of questions too.  ❞
❝  i’ve driven more than 8 hours and drunk enough bad coffee to give an elephant heart palpitations. i’m sure as hell going to get my money’s worth.  ❞
❝  oh sorry, am i bothering you now? what happened to  ‘ call anytime you want, [name] ’ or,  ‘ you’re always welcome here, [name] ’ ?  ❞
❝  i’ve forgotten to charge my phone. again.  ❞
❝  i… think i’m going to turn around now.  ❞
❝  well sorry if i wanted to have a nice talk with my sister for a change.  ❞
❝  will it just be left there forever? our legacy? look upon our works, ye mighty, and despair?  ❞
❝  no matter how far away from home you are, no matter how different the constellations might look from where you’re standing, you can always look up on a clear, dark night and feel like you’re about to fall right into it—the terrifying, endless expanse of nothingness.  ❞
❝  i know authors can do some crazy things to get out of writer’s block, but i’ve never heard of one resorting to arson.  ❞
❝  why do you always think there’s something wrong?  ❞
❝  ours is not to question why, ours is but to digitize and stay the hell out of trouble.  ❞
❝  so let’s try walking backwards. just keep an eye on it.  ❞
❝  i got lucky. or maybe i was just fast enough to escape.  ❞
❝  maybe there are secret passages behind the walls and corridors.  ❞
❝  no matter how far i walked, i couldn’t find the way i came in.  ❞
❝  well, i /know/ i’ve had worst nights. i just can’t think of any right now.  ❞
❝  i do want you to have fun, [name], i just don’t want you to get yourself killed doing it.  ❞
❝  i mean, obviously, i do care, that’s the whole reason i made this trip. to get away from the noise and focus.  ❞
❝  i might have… forgotten to tell anyone where i was going.  ❞
❝  before i get started, there’s just one thing i need to say. i have absolutely no patience for the unexplained, or the things people call  ‘ unexplainable ’,  ‘ supernatural ’, or  ‘ paranormal ’.  ❞
❝  i told [name] that i needed to get out, to get inspired.  ❞
❝  okay, if someone is messing with me, they’re going to be very sorry, very quickly.  ❞
❝  [name] lied his ass off to save yours.  ❞
❝  a crash like that does funny things to your head.  ❞
❝  i still don’t know how he got there without me noticing.  ❞
❝  any plans i had to travel abroad went up in smoke.  ❞
❝  i thought of pulling out the bad cop routine.  ❞
❝  strange how something so dead can be so beautiful.  ❞
❝  it hated me:  hated what i do, and more than that, hated who i am.  ❞
❝  lots of tall tales. and more than a few ghost stories.  ❞
❝  oh good, you’re still here!  ❞
❝  reviewers absolutely grilled it:  said it was a nonsensical rip off of the dark tower, whatever that means.  ❞
❝  i jumped out the window. cut my hands on the glass, but thankfully not bad enough to need stitches  ❞
❝  i told her, tonight.  ❞
❝  for a minute, i wondered if that would really be so bad. it was a fitting way to go, given my… well, everything.  ❞
❝  i suppose that’s a universal constant—maybe the only one.  ❞
❝  i never let myself get this turned around. especially not at night.  ❞
❝  i don’t know if it’s actually haunted. but if not, then it was sure as hell convincing.  ❞
❝  i’m not one of those people who thinks she’s the spawn of satan or something ridiculous like that.  ❞
❝  unless i’m prepared to accept that she was murdered by something that crawled out of a funhouse mirror, this isn’t much help with the case, either.  ❞
❝  i have to try and work some actual cases the rest of the time. you know, cases that might have some answers i can find.  ❞
❝  it's cold, damp, and dark as night. i'm in my element, at least.  ❞
❝  your place is waiting for you.  ❞
❝  yeah, i’m all good. great… hanging in there, you know?  one day at a time.  ❞
❝  oh, i see you. you think i’m still scared of [thing], huh?  think you can freak me out?  ❞
❝  trust me, i’ve had a hell of a day, and you do not want to mess with a pissed off…  ❞
❝  and tell my sister i'm sorry.  ❞
❝  oh god, it's cold.  ❞
❝  the night sky really is beautiful out here.  ❞
❝  tell him he shouldn’t have been such a good liar.  ❞
❝  i’ve been listening to this for the last two weeks now.  ❞
❝  it’s not even that i’m having bad ideas. i’m not having any at all.  ❞
❝  can’t get away from the work, no matter what i do.  ❞
❝  i made sure i switched off my phone before i came up here, just in case.  ❞
❝  god, these things smell of weed.  ❞
❝  yeah, well… just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you know?  ❞
❝  [name] is dead. that's all there is to it.  ❞
❝  no, i need to get out of here. it’s been a long day.  ❞
❝  a lot of the art i found was just paintings of a night sky full of stars.  ❞
❝  my job is to look the facts dead in the face and find an explanation. one that will hold up in a court of law.  ❞
❝  personal and career choices, i guess you’d call them.  ❞
❝  damn. i could’ve sworn i felt something strange about this place when i hiked through this morning… or maybe it was a different part. hard to tell this late at night, anyway.  ❞
❝  well, let’s just say a middle-aged man-child running out panicked and tearing at his eyes would hardly be a marketable image.  ❞
❝  i didn’t mind that i’d be alone—i always expected that to be how i went.  ❞
❝  i’m sure that’s on my personnel file by now, as if it could get any more problematic.  ❞
167 notes · View notes
lalaith217 · 3 years
Text
Tumblr media
This is something a little different from what I usually post, but 2x13 is one of my favorite episodes and I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this one. It's a sort of "She thinks, he thinks"-type of thing and it's pretty long, but I hope you enjoy.
Waking up
When Chloe wakes up, she feels his presence in the room before she even opens her eyes. It doesn't surprise her that he's here though, she's actually been waiting for him for a couple of hours now, wondering when he'd show up. The nurses told her that there had been "complications" and, ever the realist, she had known they had been downplaying the severity of her situation. She had seen what the professor's poison had done to the first victim and as soon as her nose had started bleeding, fear had overcome her. But now, she felt okay, still a little weak, but fine. The nap she had just woken up from had helped. And him sitting at her bedside helps too.
"Well. Look who's back. You didn't die after all. That makes one of us."
She opens her eyes and a smile plays on her lips. He's making even less sense than usual, but she doesn't really care right now. She is happy he's here, at her side, and that whatever he did to save her has worked. Does she really need to know what it was? There is time for that later, he'll probably tell her in excruciating detail anyway. And then, they'll talk about what she really wants to talk about right now. Them.
"I heard you saved me."
She puts her hand on his hands, both of them by her side as if he had been praying (which is ridiculous, she knows). She isn't sure, but, for a moment, she thinks he wants to pull back, looking down at both their hands. But he doesn't and his skin feels warm and for a brief moment, her mind flashes back to their dinner in his penthouse. She had taken his hand then, too, and he had looked at her almost the same way: a mix of surprise, disbelief and, most of all, warmth. This time however, a fourth feeling creeps in his eyes that she can't quite place. It is not a good feeling however.
"Well... much as I'd like to take all the credit, this one was a... a team effort."
She is a little surprised he doesn't want all the glory for this one, but a part of her tells her that this one hit way too close to home for him to be making jokes. She remembers his face when her nosebleed wouldn't stop and when she showed him the puncture mark that the professor's needle had left. He hadn't made any jokes then and when Lucifer stopped making comments and jokes, things were as serious as they got.
"You look heaven sent."
The last time he talked to her before things got worse, he looked more worried than she had ever seen him. He put up a front, fighting with Dan over bringing her to the hospital (which she explicitly asked him not to do), but she knew her partner. And she knew things were getting worse by the minute. When she had collapsed at that party, she had known that maybe her reluctance to go the hospital was not the best way of dealing with things. But when she saw Lucifer all worried in that hospital room, she knew things were going seriously wrong.
Still, she refused to give up and was more worried about what Trixie would think. As Lucifer always told the truth, she asked him if her being strapped to this hospital bed, tubes going in and coming out of her, would scare Trixie. He answered in his typical Lucifer fashion, making a quip, she thought, but they way he looked at her, she somehow knew he was not making a joke. Her heart skipped a beat, but the moment passed and Lucifer left. She didn't see him again, even when she was seizing, and she missed him. If things were as bad as they seemed, why wasn't he by her side? But she knew he was doing everything in his power to save her. And he had.
It had taken her a while to come to terms with her feelings for him. A few weeks, hell, even a few days ago, she had been sure that they were not going to work. They were just too different, she had thought, well, she still believes that they are very different people. But when he had sent her away and saved those college kids, she had realized that, despite that all being true, despite everything, the thought of him hurt, the thought of him not being around annoying her every day, had scared her more than she had have ever thought.
And then he had just walked down the steps as if nothing had happened, a smug smile on his handsome face, and she couldn't believe he didn't even have a scratch. But more importantly she had realized that she couldn't fight what she was feeling for him anymore. Nor did she want to. On instinct, she had hugged him tight, and, with hesitation, he had hugged her back. She suspected that Lucifer didn't have much experience with physical contact that wasn't sexual, so she didn't take his hesitation personally. How could she when the look in his eyes, full of wonder and adoration, told her everything that she needed to know in this moment. They were real, that's what she knew and damn, she wouldn't let stupid poison come between them.
"You know, this whole poisoning thing has just... really put a pause on everything that's been going on with you and I, so... should we just pick up where we left off?"
The words came out of her mouth before she could actually really think them through. She fears for a moment they might be too straightforward and he might get overwhelmed, but she is still holding his hand, his thumb drawing lazy circles on her skin and he is still looking at her with those deep brown eyes, and she just doesn't feel like holding back anymore. She has been fighting her feelings for quite some time now and she doesn't want to do it anymore.
"I think, right now, you just need to focus on feeling better, Detective."
He has let go of her hand and moves to stand up. She is surprised he is leaving right now, but she must look worse than she thought. And maybe he just needs to process. And as he said, he just wants her to get better and she can't really sleep while he's here, can she? Although... No, they have all the time in the world once she feels better. They'll figure everything out. Together.
"Would you have someone bring Trixie in?"
"Yes. Yes, of course."
He moves away from her now and she feels that so much is left unsaid. This is clearly not the time though, at least for him. But she needs to tell him, one more time, in her way, that she wants this, that she wants him. Ever since they kissed on the beach she has been struggling to tell him, in her own dorky way, how she wants this, how she wants him.
"And we'll talk. We'll talk later, yeah?"
He doesn't answer. His mouth opens, but words don't come out. She wonders why he's not really responding to her question, but maybe he just needs time to process. She still needs time to process and she is much, much better with the "touchy-feely stuff" than him. Not that that is any kind of challenge. She remembers, how he reacted the first time she told him she could be vulnerable around him. What had been intended as a way of telling him how she felt, had resulted in him acting even stranger than usual, touching her back and asking all kinds of strange questions.
She looks after him when he leaves her hospital room. She is smiling and for the first time in a while she feels better. They'll talk and figure this out, she knows they will. No more denial, no more interruptions.
**********************************
When she finally opens her eyes, his heart does a somersault. Only a few hours ago he didn't even know if she would make it and now she is looking at him with those big grey-blue eyes of hers as if nothing had happened, as if she hadn't been close to... He can't even think about it anymore. Can't think about what losing her would mean.
"Well. Look who's back. You didn't die after all. That makes one of us."
Watching her sleep, he had had time to think about what he had done. For her. Ever since he had left hell, he had been sure of one thing: he wouldn't go back to that place, not in a million years. And yet he had gone back. For her. And he would do it again. And again. But she would never know, could never know.
"I heard you saved me."
She has put her hand on both of his and, for a moment, he thinks about pulling away from her. It feels wrong for her to be touching him like this, when he knows everything she is feeling for him is a lie, a manipulation. But her hand on his feels soft and the way she looks at him now makes him feel all sorts of things. Things that he has never felt before. Things that made him go to hell for her. Literally.
"Well... much as I'd like to take all the credit, this one was a... a team effort."
Always the truth, that was what he tried to live by. Without Amenadiel, Linda, Maze and most of all his mom, he wouldn't have made it out of that place. The memory of Uriel haunts him, the way he plunged the knife into his gut, again and again. The guilt of killing his own brother kept him in his own personal hell. Only when his mom had come and reminded him of why he was down there, her, he had come to his senses.
"Chloe."
Hearing her name down there had snapped him out of his daze. The memory of her lying in that hospital bed, dying of some poison, and him being the only one who could save her, had brought him back to reality. He had to save her, his partner, his detective. There was nothing he wouldn't do to save her life.
When he had gone to her house to confront her about... nevermind... to talk to her, and saw her nose-bleed, he was terrified. They had seen what the poison had done to the student at Malibu State and the professor had just killed himself, with the recipe for the antidote in his head of course. Driving her to the next hospital was his first instinct, but when she refused to go and reminded him of how the hospital hadn't helped any of the other victims, he turned around and promised to do things her way. Sometimes she was as stubborn as she accused him of being and the annoying part was that she was usually right.
This time however, not even her refusal to give in could stop the effects of the poison on her. He was mildly surprised when she held onto his arm going down the stairs at that rich douchebag's party, usually refusing any assistance, even in high heels, but then she collapsed at the bottom of the stairs. His heart sank remembering her unresponsive in his arms, fragile, vulnerable. This could not be happening to her, not now, not ever. He could not lose her like this, not after she had kissed him like that at the beach, not after she made him feel... everything he felt.
"You know, this whole poisoning thing has just... really put a pause on everything that's been going on with you and I, so... should we just pick up where we left off?"
He hasn't even realized that his thumb has been drawing lazy circles on her skin, warm against his. Lost in thought the detective's suggestion brings him back to here and now, back to reality. A reality in which his father has put the detective into his path. A reality in which all that he has been feeling for her, all that she has been feeling for him, is a manipulation, a cruel trick his father has played on them.
"I think, right now, you just need to focus on feeling better, Detective."
He lets go of her hand and stands up, wanting to break the connection that pulls him closer to her. She didn't have a choice. She doesn't have a choice. Her feelings are not real, he reminds himself, and neither are they. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and it doesn't mean he would rather stay here, with her, by her side, until she felt better. With her eyes always looking at her the way she does now, full of... emotions. Emotions that aren't real, but still emotions that she feels. And so does he.
"Would you have someone bring Trixie in?"
"Yes. Yes, of course."
Right, the urchin. Probably worried about her mother almost as much as he was. A visit from her will distract her. He has almost reached the door of her hospital room now. He'll be finally able to breathe again without her looking at him with those eyes. He will be able to remember that all of this is nothing but a bloody manipulation and not real.
"And we'll talk. We'll talk later, yeah?"
His heart does that stupid thing again when it skips a beat. She sounds so sincere and hopeful, he almost wants to turn around and kiss her senseless. He wants to tell her what that moment at Pasadena State meant to him, when she hugged him, just like that. When he could see in her eyes that she felt the same way as him. When he felt, for a few blissful hours, that they could make this work. That he... that they could be happy. He had felt invincible.
But he doesn't turn around and he doesn't tell her. He leaves her room without looking back. He has to leave, get out of here now, and he doesn't just mean out of this hospital room. How can he stay around her, when every time she looks at him, he feels like this. Feels the betrayal and the pain and... that other feeling he now pushes down, way down, as he walks along the hospital hallway, straight to the exit.
24 notes · View notes
rainbowoverdragon · 3 years
Text
Thoughts on Ryo
This is an analysis of Zane Truesdale/Ryo Marufuji, focusing on his mindset as well as his relationships with other people. As I am basing this off the original Japanese version for standardization, all names likewise are their sub counterparts.
When Sho obtains a rare and powerful card from his brother, he believes he has it made. After this, Sho finds the courage to confront his bully in a duel. So after he draws Power Bond, Sho thinks he has it made. He gloats to the bully, insulting him, making outlandish claims out of the arrogant belief that he can't lose. Before he can use it, Sho is interrupted by the very person who gifted him that card. "You aren't worthy to use that card yet. Until you have what it takes to be called a duelist, I declare that card off-limits.'' Devastated by this statement, Sho proceeded to view himself as incapable of dueling for years; unworthy of Power Bond. It’s an establishing character moment for both Marufuji brothers, setting Ryo up as an impossible standard to reach in Sho’s eyes. However, for Ryo, his intentions are revealed to be more well-intentioned than Sho is led to believe. In episode 8, Sho realizes that Ryo wished for Sho to treat his own power with respect: towards both his opponent and his high-risk high-reward cards. This constant cycle of good intentions and misplaced words leads to a negative feedback loop between the brothers that seems impossible to resolve. Ryo struggles to convey his own observations to others in a way that doesn’t come off as condescending. Sho cannot take things past face value, and places his brother upon a pedestal that he cannot surpass. After all, how can you beat perfection itself?
During his years in Duel Academy, Ryo is the embodiment of perfection. He is the opposite of his brother, never missing a single mark in any area. Everyone constantly refers to Ryo as “perfect”, from his teachers to his peers to even the Kaiser himself. He even soundly beats Judai in the first duel they have together, a feat seen as impossible by the audience. But it’s this very idea of perfection that haunts Ryo, as he believes that perfection implies stagnation. If Ryo has perfect scores in class, there is no way to improve them. If he reached the peak of his potential in one duel, that means it’s all downhill from there. His greatest fears are confirmed when he loses to Edo in the Pro Leagues, starting a chain of losses that ruins his career beyond repair. Ryo is perfect. He is so perfect, that during his school years he never truly struggled against an opponent (Aside from Judai in Episodes 51-52 however he maintained the advantage for the majority of the duel). In fact, he suffered from the opposite problem. As Ryo is too powerful, he’d purposely hold back until his peers could unleash their trump cards against him. Only then did he defeat them with just enough power to avoid humiliation. His first loss wasn’t only his first loss, it was the first time Ryo found himself in a disadvantaged position. His inexperience with failure led to him associating the mere act of struggle with the idea of loss. Ryo’s inability to move past this is his own self-fulfilling prophecy. Being afraid of failure makes people play to not lose. Playing to not lose instead of playing to win causes chokes, which results in losses. Unable to break from this cycle, Ryo is abandoned by his sponsors. Which is why the idea of Underground Duels, a place where he can start over and regain his bearings is so enticing. At least, until they reveal the condition.
And at first, Ryo despises the Underground. He appeals to be released, he states it’s not what dueling is, it’s nothing like he could ever imagine. And how could it be? Ryo’s life is on the line, and for no good reason. The shock collars are there to make things fun for the audience, not for any other benefit! In his duel with Sho, who says that 'this isn't dueling', Ryo even admits he thought the same thing. It spits on the very concept of respecting your opponent. The collars humiliate you, egging you on to forget about the other person. And in general, is amoral (as well as a human rights violation). Underground Duels are almost always life or death, because nobody fights harder than people who are convinced they are going to die. And Ryo is convinced that if he duels the way that he always has, if he clings into his morals, he will die. His opponent, Mad Dog, purposely created a deck to counter him. So why should he respect him? Why should he not aim to win? Why can’t he aim to survive? After crawling from hell, nothing is the same for the Kaiser. Because every duel is another reminder that he survived. He is unable to see any match he takes for fun, every duel to him is life or death. In the real world, there are people who lose and wither away, and people who win and thrive. And by god, he wants to feel alive. He spent so long losing, something utterly unthinkable for the Kaiser of Duel Academy. Ryo was undefeated before, now he truly wishes to not experience it again. If forcing himself to feel that every fight of his is to the death, literally or mentally, then so be it. He continues dueling in the Underground, continues to utilize the shock collars he once despised. No matter what cost, health or mind, Ryo requires victory.
When Ryo is told that his health is failing from his shock collars, he doesn’t seek medical attention. Because to Ryo, being alive is more important than living. He transformed into Hell Kaiser achieved the great power that comes from becoming a monster, at the cost of self-destruction. He flirted with death, and finally has to pay the price. And he doesn’t care. As long as Ryo obtains what he wishes, he is happy. And what the Hell Kaiser wants more than anything else, is one last duel to surpass all others. Ryo would rather reach the limit of his capabilities, and die meeting them than waste away quietly to be forgotten forever. Thus he seeks Yubel, the strongest monster spirit in the Universe. If he meets an opponent of his caliber and 'shines' during the mattle, then he’d have nothing to fear in death. But he does. After entering his long-awaited match, Ryo admits to not wanting to die. He wants to live, he wants to leave a mark that can never be forgotten. Yet he doesn’t want to die. Ryo has achieved everything he wanted, shown the strongest he has been or will ever be. Before he duels Yubel, he comes to a revelation. At first, Ryo wished to fight the strongest being to win. He doesn't care anymore. Ryo is dying, win or lose the result is the same. Since he turned Hell Kaiser, Ryo only respected victory. The joy he obtained by knowing he survived another duel is utterly meaningless against Yubel. What happiness does he obtain knowing he survived….when he isn’t going to live to begin with? He understands that the duel itself is what makes Ryo feel alive, doing the most with what remaining time he has with his life. As Ryo tells Judai, his death is the end of the road for people who glorify power. And thus it’s no surprise that Ryo is taken out by the card he is associated with most: Power Bond. A card that lets you receive unthinkable amounts of power, at the price of self-destruction.
Out of all the people who save Judai from himself, the Kaiser’s impact is one of the most apparent. It takes someone who knows the suffering someone else goes through to achieve empathy, especially in Judai's case. Judai struggles with sympathy, as shown with his interactions with Sho in Seasons 1-3. Whenever Sho asks for help with his confidence, Judai gives him the helpful advice of "Don't be anxious!" Judai cannot comprehend being insecure with one's capabilities, thus he cannot help Sho directly. In contrast, Judai is more receptive to empathy. Manjoume's crisis in Season 1 revolved around the pressure others placed upon him to succeed. Judai deeply understands his strife, and helps him fight for himself. This is why Misawa's speech about accountability fails to help Judai utilize Polymerization. Misawa has no fundamental basis to understand Judai's feelings. In contrast, Kaiser's duel with Yubel awakens Judai's character growth. Ryo is Judai's cautionary tale, a warning of self-fulfilling prophecies. During the Graduation Duel, Ryo tells Judai that he possesses infinite potential compared to himself. This rings true in watching Ryo's belief of his own lack of capability to change, resulting in his inability to change because he destroyed himself beyond repair. In contrast, Judai has not fallen to this path. Watching Ryo's descent as well as his late realization means everything to Judai: especially someone so responsive to empathy. This is because they are mirrors of each other, to the point their character’s arcs are entirely parallel to one another. Both are idolized for the power they hold over others, both of them experience the loss of the pedestal they once stood upon. Both achieve the sharpest fall from grace (against an opponent with ‘Mad’ in their title), which leads to them glorifying their own power and abusing it against others. Despite their friends trying to help them, it is ultimately up to themselves to self-actualize their shortcomings. However it is Ryo, who thinks he cannot change, who succumbs upon his own revelation. And it is Ryo, who always believed in Judai’s infinite potential even in the Graduation Duel, who changes Judai’s path. Without Ryo, Judai would be unable to utilize his power responsibly. Because Judai now knows what happens to people who push themselves too far, just like how he used to. Power is not something to be afraid of or abused, but to use responsibly.
The Hell Kaiser doesn’t entirely work for others; he even states he fought Yubel out of selfish motivations. However, Ryo is also constantly associated with lighthouses. To the people that mean the most to him, Ryo is a light that tries to guide others to safety. However lighthouses are far away from the people they try to save, and thus it takes the initiative of others to help themselves after seeing the light from afar. This is shown by Ryo’s relationships with the people he’s closest to remaining fundamentally the same from his own side: regardless of his actual guidance being positive or negative. Ryo’s actions and intentions around Sho remain the same across both his younger self and Hell Kaiser: each time trying to guide Sho to become the best version of himself. "Until you have what it takes to be called a duelist, I declare that card off-limits."", is the devastating statement Ryo told Sho as kids. But Ryo believed his brother needed to understand true power in respect, guiding Sho away from arrogance and towards the light of good. His brother's weakness required defending. This concept is twisted on its head once Ryo becomes Hell Kaiser, who only views power or meaning in victory. Thus he employs the same tactic, because Ryo does not see the difference between restricting Power Bond to teach respect, and having Sho experience the same pain he did to ditch it.
Both Ryo and Hell Kaiser sing the same song. Ryo intends on ‘protecting’ his weaker brother by teaching him right from wrong. Both times, Sho and Ryo misunderstand each other. At first, Sho doesn’t comprehend the real reason why Ryo forbade Power Bond. The second time, Ryo doesn’t understand how Sho can cling to his own beliefs of respect even if he loses because of it. However, the one time Ryo’s words connect is when he saves Sho in season 3. And even then, it’s an admission of distance between the two. Ryo sees Sho’s pain inflicted by Judai far outweighs what Ryo had done to Sho. Thus Ryo advises Sho to follow Judai, since it’s what his heart truly desired all along. He then leaves, to force Sho into walking his own path. Ryo cannot spell out Sho's wishes any more than he does. And if Sho is alone, then he is forced to swim instead of sink.
Ryo’s association with lighthouses in canon directly correlates to Fubuki. As much as Fubuki is associated with darkness, Ryo is quite literally the light that shines through to him. When Fubuki was overtaken by Darkness in the first arc, we later find out that Ryo regrets being unable to find Fubuki no matter how much information and effort he scrounged up. Fubuki then replies that the mere act of trying saved him, as he could see Ryo’s feelings in spite of the darkness that consumed him. To Fubuki, Ryo is the lighthouse that guides people through the darkness. And when Fubuki is overtaken by the Darkness in an attempt to save Ryo from it, Ryo’s feelings once again vanquishes Fubuki from the dark. However, instead of the Kaiser saving Fubuki, Hell Kaiser explicitly protects him from Darkness. Because the two are friends, even after everything Ryo’s been through. This leads Fubuki to a revelation that no one else understands: Hell Kaiser is not fundamentally different from Ryo. Fubuki realizes that even as Hell Kaiser, Ryo respected Fubuki. Why else would he save him from Darkness? Indeed, every interaction of Ryo’s major interpersonal relationships are fundamentally the same. It’s simply his worldview that shifted. As much as Ryo wishes to respect others, he doesn’t think he can in a world where everyone must take advantage of their life to the fullest extent.
And Ryo, who cannot change because he thinks he cannot change, stayed as he was until it was far too late to be saved.
24 notes · View notes
lokiondisneyplus · 3 years
Text
Although Loki has been a fixture of the Marvel Cinematic Universe since 2011’s Thor, the character has never had his own musical identity. That all changed with Loki - the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s latest Disney+ series - and the music of Natalie Holt. The innovative, versatile score is a perfect match for the God of Mischief’s sensibilities and is easily among the best sonic works we’ve heard in the genre.
As such, we were excited to sit down with Holt to discuss the inspiration behind the score’s instrumentation, sticking up for her music in late-night dub sessions, and being part of the MCU.
I want to start right at the beginning. What was your reaction when you booked the Loki meeting?
I just knew that it was the biggest opportunity I'd ever had, and I really prepped hard. I went into the meeting with my ideas really fleshed out, and quite a lot of my responses to the script seemed to by some lucky coincidence fit with the directors. That was cool. I then got to do the pitch after the meeting, so I had to score the time theater scene in episode one, and I totally went to town on that as well. I really wanted this job so much because I felt that Loki was a great character and I was a big fan.
You and director Kate Herron were immediately on the same page in regards to using a Theremin for Loki. What was it about that instrument that appealed to you for this project?
A friend of mine had sent me ‘The Swan’ by Clara Rockmore ages ago, and I just loved the sound of it. I had also been listening to lots of BBC Radiophonic workshops, and I'd seen this documentary about Delia Derbyshire as well so I had all these 1950’s, analogue-y synth sounds buzzing around in my head. Tom Hiddleston has a Shakespeare-like quality to his performance, so I thought this needs to have some kind of classical, weighty grandness. So it was a fusion of those two things.
You weren’t on set for Loki, and I know that is something you like to do. In the absence of that, what sparked your creativity the most?
It was engaging with the character in a really deep way. The storyline really got under my skin and inspired me. I had the Loki theme in the pitch, so that’s been there from day one. And as for the riffs in the theme, I feel like Loki is the Salieri to Thor’s Mozart, so I was listening to lots of that. There's a bit of ‘Ride of the Valkyries’ by Wagner in Loki’s theme as well. That was all in the pitch. Then I had a month to write the suite. That was the Mobius theme, the Sylvie theme, and the Variant theme.
For all the hi-tech stuff we see in Loki, the TVA is also very analogue in some respects and you’ve clearly taken that into account with the score. How quickly did you catch onto that and are there any other ways that are reflected in your score?
I sampled lots of clock-ticking sounds. I worked with Daniel Sonnabend - he’s got lots of old analog tape machines - and we were messing around with that. The tape machine player almost became its own instrument. We had this big church bell for the timekeepers at the beginning of episode four. That was sampled and then downgraded, so it gets glitchy as it goes on to signify what’s happening in the story. I was just messing around with a lot of that in the background, and it's all over everything. There's always an urgency and a time-ticking feeling in the background of lots of tracks.
How long does one spend listening to samples of clocks before you find the right one?
I've got a lot! I'm sure they'll come in handy at some point.
I’ve read that you wanted a score that “reflected Loki’s personality.” What were some of the characteristics you were looking to emphasise and accentuate with your score?
Something that I touched on with Kate, from reading the scripts for the very first time was Anthony Burgess’ A Clockwork Orange. In that film, Alex commits these horrendous acts and he's extremely violent, and yet somehow you connect with him. I feel like Loki is the same. He's a likable villain. In the series, he comes to terms with his fallibility and it is quite painful for him. So I suppose my job is to help him reach those emotional depths. When he sees his mother in episode one, his past is calling to him and that's when we hear those haunting Norwegian instruments that suddenly seem to shine. Yearning for your mother is something we can all relate to.
We’ve spoken a bit about the use of the Theremin. What drove your selection of the other instruments?
I did this amazing lockdown project for an ad agency. They kind of got all of their artists to play Pass the Parcel with a theme, and we just did this lockdown piece. I'm not sure how successful it was, but the person that I got sent the material from was Charlie Draper who's a theremin player and a theremin enthusiast. So he was in the back of my mind, and I knew I really wanted to collaborate with him at some point. He played on my demo. And then the Norwegians... I saw them at a concert in Stoke Newington about three years ago. They're in this group called the Lodestar Trio. They're amazing, and they play with Max Bailey. I've known him for years, and I just went to this concert. He did all these interpretations of Bach, but with a kind of Norwegian folky twist. I just loved the instrument combination of the Nyckelharpa, the Hardanger fiddle, and the violin. It sounds mystical and magical and amazing. It felt like the perfect pairing with Loki’s past.
I read that you started with the finale and worked backward. Is that an unusual way of working for you or do you do that often?
This whole show has been a departure from anything I've ever done before, in terms of the scale of it, and, you know, the resources. It's all just been different. I think Kate and Kevin [Feige], the producer, saw it as a six-hour film. They didn't want it to be a TV show. The thing about scoring a film is that you do have that time to really craft themes and to have more of an overarching narrative than you sometimes get to do in TV because there's usually a quicker turnaround. And I guess because of the pandemic as well, I had more time.
I didn’t want to just work my way through the score in a linear order. I wanted to know where I was going and then seed it. I think writing a suite before starting on a picture, and having those themes in my mind before seeing the footage was super useful as well. I think I'm always going to do that from now on.
Are we ever gonna hear the full suites somewhere down the line?
I had never done one before. And I was like, “have you got any examples from anybody else?” So they sent me suites from a couple of other composers, like Ludwig Göransson’s one for Black Panther. I was totally geeking out on that. I heard Mark Mothersbaugh’s suite for Thor: Ragnarok as well, and that was kinda intimidating. But it was really good to hear that they've all gone through this process.
You get to see these epic moments in Loki before there’s any music to it. Was there any particular moment you watched that you were excited to work on?
I read the scripts, and I had Mobius in my head as something very different. I saw him being a bigger person who was quite slow, like a kind of cheeseburger-eating cop. The way Owen Wilson brought that character to life was so brilliant, as was the chemistry between him and Tom. I loved watching their bromance. It was really fun to score them as their relationship blossomed. When Mobius is pruned, that was so awesome. I loved episode four. I had seeded everything and built their friendship up. That moment where Tom walks down the corridor in slow motion with tears in his eyes… I loved scoring that.
Loki is a man of many multitudes, and the show goes down a lot of strange avenues. I love the tracks where you really get to do something different from the main body of the score, like ‘DB Cooper’ or ‘Miss Minutes’.
I had a bit more time for episodes one and two. Like, I had a month to score episode one. By the time I got to episode six, it was really frantic. So, with the tracks you mentioned, I just had the time to do it. Kate was like, “we've got a source track that sort of works, but wouldn't it be really fun if we could do a version of it with the Loki theme?” And I was like, “yep, cool, let's try it.” It was one of the upsides to the pandemic, that we had more time to work on it and do stuff like that. I did a film before with where I got Chris Lawrence - he's like a bass player in London, and he plays in orchestra’s but he also plays at Ronnie Scott’s - and he did the baseline on ‘D.B. Cooper’. He’s so good. And I sang on that track too!
‘Miss Minutes’ felt like a moment to tip your hat to those sci-fi shows and do a pastiche. So I got the theremin and the choir and had some fun with that piece. And again, that's got the TVA theme in it. I think that’s really nice, and it's something they did with WandaVision as well. There's cohesion in the score. Even when you're hearing this jazzy track, you're still getting the Loki theme and you're hearing a different side of his character.
You mentioned how you had more time to score the earlier episodes. Was there anything positive about having less time on the later episodes? How do you prefer to work?
I remember reading something about people who can see colours with music. I feel that I have the same thing with a scene. I can watch a scene and I can start hearing it in my head, and as I get more into a project... I remember watching episode six, and because I was so into the project and into the characters by that point, I was like, that's what needs to happen. I could hear it as I was watching it. I feel like sometimes if you’re spending ages working on something, that instinct can get a bit boiled down. Episode six felt like my most instinctive version of the music because I didn't have time to fiddle around with it. It just felt like that was my very undiluted response.
I like it. Natalie Holt uncut.
I just kind of sketched it all out on the piano as I heard it. It was very quick.
How long did you have to work on that particular episode?
I think it was a week. It was a very quick turnaround with the orchestral recording, and I thought we were going to need more time.
How involved were you with the track Tom Hiddleston sings in Asgardian?
They had found a Norwegian song, and he'd already recorded it. I was like, I think we need a musician in the background. There should be someone on that train who’s a little bit drunk and has an instrument, and it's a kind of space-age fiddle, and they're going to accompany Tom in the scene and I think that's going to really help. Kate and Kevin were like, yeah, that could really work. So I did a few versions where I just took what Tom had done, added some violins,  and then improvised a bit in the middle where Loki sings to Sylvie. And they're like, yes, we've got to do this. So they went back in and shot a pickup of an alien musician in that sequence because I insisted. I really wish it was me!
We know that season two of Loki is in the works now. They better have you on camera.
Oh my god, I'm so up for it!
How did you find it working remotely? Were you involved in the mixing stage at all?
It was kind of frustrating. Getting picture to work in the orchestral recording sessions was a problem. Marvel is very strict about how a picture goes out because they don't want any leaks, so that was quite challenging. I could never send people the picture to play with. It's kind of nice for the musicians to come in and see what they're playing against, but there was none of that. That was a bit of a downside. With that said, it was easier to get hold of people because everyone was at home and really happy to be working. I don't know if I'd have got the job had it not been for the fact that everyone was suddenly happy to accept more remote working than they would have done in the past. So I feel like it's opened some doors. The frustrations and the benefits seemed to be in balance.
Speaking of opening doors, you’re only the second woman to compose an MCU score (Pinar Toprak scored Captain Marvel in 2019). That feels significant.
We're in a time, certainly, where I think people are very consciously opening up opportunities to all sorts of people that wouldn't have had those opportunities before, which I'm really grateful for. A few years ago, I wouldn't have gotten this opportunity until a bit further on in my career. So it accelerated things. We are moving forward. But the thing that I really struggle with… I went to a state school and I got scholarships to study music. It wasn't prohibitively expensive to go to university. I did a master's and I didn't come out with 30 grand of debt. The opportunities are here for me now, but I think if I was young and I wanted to go to film school I wouldn't be able to afford it.
So what bothers me is social mobility. I still think we're opening up our industry, but we're not supporting people being able to study music and being able to get into film, and being able to spend those years doing low-paid jobs from the ground up. I still think we've got a long way to go with that. But I think at my age and my level, I'm just privileged that I did have those bursaries and those opportunities to study music, and I hope they're still there for my daughter's generation.
You have a lot of synths in this score. How tricky was it to find that balance between the classical and modern instruments?It's a blend. There’s some in-the-box stuff. Some of the synths are recorded, and then I ran them through the analog tape machine to dirty them up. I've got a Juno 60, so I've got some analog synths going on. It's such a weird process, isn't it? Creating something and being like, no, that's right! Jake Jackson - who mixed the score - must feel like I’m a complete control freak. I was like, “yeah I really like your mix but can you just go back and basically listen to my demo?” I was quite specific with him. He did an amazing job. The D.B. Cooper track... I cannot believe that he made it sound like that. I've never worked with him before, and handing your work over to an engineer does feel a bit like, oh, how's this gonna be? But it was a really, really great experience, and I think Jake is a genius. He really gets it, and he was really collaborative and respectful of my intentions with everything. I never felt like he was trying to put his mark on anything. It was a really smooth part of the process.
What conversations do you have about how prevalent your music is in the mix when it comes to the TV side of things?
I was so obsessed with Loki that I couldn’t let it go. I went to the dub even when it was two o'clock in the morning. I just wanted to check in and I was calling Kate and asking her, “please can you turn the music up here?” I was like a dog with a bone until it was ripped out of my mouth and they were like that’s it now, this episode is locked. I definitely fought for things to be turned up.
You had a 32-piece choir for the last 2 episodes. What was it like to get that recording in? Are you watching as they’re recording it from a remote location?
They were a Hungarian choir. The male singers could really go down. I was adding notes in at the bottom for those guys to sing. I didn’t know anyone could sing that low. That was cool. I had never recorded a choir before, so it was a new one for me. I was really lucky to have Andy Brown from the London Metropolitan orchestra. He assisted me with the Brass and singing sessions.
I imagine that one of the cooler things about scoring something like Loki is that you are now part of the wider MCU universe. I think I heard hints of Alan Silvestri’s Avengers cue a couple of times…
I put in a Loki version of the Avengers theme at the end of episode 4. Also, at the very start of the season before the title card, it goes from an Alan Silvestri cue and then segues and then I take it over. It was really cool to get to play around with the multitrack from that. I was always a big fan of the Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther scores, so those were kind of my inspirations. I was just kind of honoured to be in the same league as those people and those scores because I thought they were great and quirky and had all these interesting flavours and textures.
I love that you’ve been given the freedom to be as bold as you’ve been with your score.
I wanted to do something a bit different, and Marvel's TV ventures... they're wanting to do something a bit different and challenging as well with this new direction that they're taking. It felt like there was a lot of creative freedom being dished out with this series, in every department. Kate was like, “let's try this DB Cooper scene with the theme, if it doesn't work then it's fine.” It was just trying things out and seeing what stuck.
I remember handing over my score for episode one, just before Christmas 2020. I'd scored the whole thing and was very nervous because I think it was the first time Kevin Feige and the execs were going to hear my stuff. I’d really worked hard on it, and it had a lot of live stuff. There was just one note back from Kevin Feige - push it further. I think that's so cool. As we went on the execs were really happy with it, I got calls from Victoria Alonso and Louis D’Esposito [Marvel producers]. They both rang me and just thanked me and they were like, 'we're just so happy that you've taken the ball and run with it'. I couldn't have asked for a nicer bunch of people to work with. I wasn't sure how it was going to be, I was a bit intimidated. I thought it might be a bit more terrifying. But actually, it turned out to be a really amazing, fulfilling experience.
Welcome to the world of Loki YouTube covers! How far down that rabbit hole have you fallen, and how much are you enjoying that side of the MCU experience?
It's really flattering. I’ve posted some of them on my Twitter. It’s just amazing how quickly people will post music from the show after episodes. They sound almost the same as my demo, and they’ve knocked it out in about two hours the minute after they’ve watched the episode.
Once your work on Loki was complete, how did you detox? Do you delete all your voice memos?
I've still got them. The TVA theme actually came to me as I was walking down the high street. I've got some in the bank for the future as well. I'm always noodling and sketching things down on manuscript paper. How do I detox? I just bought a new piano. It’s 100 years old. I haven't had a piano for a bit, so I've just been playing a lot of Bach.
21 notes · View notes
keyofjetwolf · 3 years
Text
We’re All Just Guys
Tumblr media
Well it took the entire fucking season, but I FINALLY get the purpose for Henry Fondle: Sex Robot. And while the entire episode (and season, honestly) has been tremendous, that this ridiculous fucking punchline was the vehicle to deliver the overarching point with a solid knockout punch of meaning AND pathos? Absolutely floored. That BoJack Horseman can be (and often is) brilliant isn’t a surprise, but the ways is keeps proving it often are.
So “The Stopped Show”, a tale of accountability and responsibility and how we’re all just guys.
Each of our main characters closes out this season alone (sort of), in assorted stages of realizing the main themes, or completely failing to. I find Diane’s arc the hardest for me to make a decision on, which isn’t surprising, as I think in many ways, Diane’s the most complicated character in the show. She delivers, directly and succinctly, one of the major points of not just this season but the entire show, but how does it relate to her? I’M NOT COMPLETELY SURE. I think part of the problem with (and for) Diane is that she knows better. She’s the most insightful character, she has a fantastic head on her shoulders, but only for everyone else. She’s this fucked up little disaster prophet, her vision clear and her message concise, unable to ever apply her gifts to fix herself.
Tumblr media
Diane is just as trapped as BoJack, but in a fun twist, is now lagging behind him in trying to do something about it. Nearly every single scene with Diane this season has been in this sad little room of her sad little apartment with all her sad little unpacked boxes, and no matter how much truth and wisdom she spits out, HERE SHE STILL IS, failing to correctly assemble IKEA furniture with names like Bȧcksleid. She already feels like shit for sleeping with Mr. Peanutbutter, so what does she do? THE SAME FUCKING THING. To which I groan and roll my eyes, while simultaneously being proud of her for directly and immediately setting him straight about not getting back together. Diane rides this constant line where she gets it but also doesn’t, which is so interesting to me in the level of additional frustration this makes me feel. BoJack is so self-absorbed you don’t really expect any better of him, which has the flip side of your expectations being so low that even the whiff of progress feels exceptional. Diane doesn’t come with any of that though, she knows better, you KNOW she knows better, and the consequence of this for the audience is that she winds up being more unlikeable than the guy who literally last episode nearly strangled his girlfriend and co-star in the middle of a paranoid drug-induced frenzy.
Which is fucked up! It’s intensely fucked up! And also, I think, the point! We expect more of Diane, and so feel more disappointed when she doesn’t deliver. Is that fair of us?
But there’s more here, as we pivot to the accountability portion of this episode/season. From the beginning of the show, it’s been incredibly upfront about how everything is unfair. We come back to this time and again. Privilege rules the day in the world of Hollywoo. Fame, money, charisma, gender, power. BoJack has been an asshole from pretty much the moment he set foot in the spotlight (possibly before?), and the only thing ever even attempting to hold him back has been the moments his guilt manages to scream loud enough to be heard over his internal narrative. Whatever he does, however he fucks up, he always stumbles back to his feet, and NEVER with any (broad scale) consequences. Meanwhile, here’s Diane, in her sad shitty apartment. Consequences haunt Diane, even if she’s the one doing the haunting. The crap things she’s done and the shitty choices she’s made cling to her.
There’s no fairness in that either, no justice. But Hollywoo (and the entire world around it) (and our world too oh yes) has that privilege carved into its bones, and Diane bears none of its marks. Her situation is very different from but parallel to Gina, who is just so fucked over, it keeps legitimately making me angry for her.
Tumblr media
Gina, of course, brought none of this on herself. She made the mistake of caring about BoJack and trying to help him. OOPS YOU WERE A GENEROUS PERSON WITH AN OPEN HEART FUCK YOU LADY. For her trouble, Gina has been assaulted and traumatized, AND she is in very real danger of her career being over when it’s only just finally beginning. And she KNOWS THIS. That’s the part that I keep coming back to. All this should be an aberration, an anomaly, and while that may be true of the specifics, conceptually, it’s so commonplace that Gina already knows how it’s going to play. She’ll stop being Gina and become The Woman Nearly Strangled To Death By BoJack Horseman. Even if she’s able to keep working, this is what she’ll be asked about in every interview forever. Even if she convinced people to genuinely listen to her, BoJack would, at worst, get a slap on the wrist as he stumbles back to his feet. We know that, WE ALL KNOW THAT, because it happens all. the. fucking. time. Gina did nothing wrong, but this would still define her for the rest of her life, while for BoJack, it would maybe become a footnote on his Wikipedia page.
Nothing about that is FAIR. Nothing about it is JUST. Gina’s choices shouldn’t have to be “this becomes my entire life” or “swallow this down and pretend it never happened”. But it is, as it has been in perpetuity for the victims of the privileged.
So then what can we do about it? Well that’s really the question, isn’t it? This episode answers it in an assortment of ways (I think the entire SHOW is very much about this, really, but this episode is for sure coming with guns blazing), while also showing us why none of those answers can work. It’s funny and sad and awful and true, but also, ultimately, the most hopeful answer because it’s the only one you can actually affect: It’s you. It’s me. It’s each and every one of us, individually, making a choice to be better.
Tumblr media
And believe it or not, we embody this with Henry Fondle: Sex Robot.
I thought the whole thing was so unbelievably stupid. Half the season, we’ve had this goddamn multi-dildo’d juvenile frat boy joke running around with its stupid ass Speak-and-Say voice, doing the same shtick over and over, and I’m like, “okay this is just the shit I have to put up with to get the clever stuff, I guess.” BUT THAT’S EXACTLY THE POINT I’M SITTING THERE LIVING THE ENTIRE GODDAMN POINT AND MISSING IT. Henry Fondle: Sex Robot is seventeen shades of overt horribleness, AND WE ALL JUST GIVE IT A PASS. It’s just the way it is, the way the world works, the price of doing business. When the whole time -- THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME -- all it took was one person to say no. One person who could see the game we all are playing and was willing to give up everything to stop it.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hilariously, Henry Fondle IS a metaphor, sort of, but of the saddest kind. He is literally a robot, he can’t possibly change. What’s more, media fervor will never affect him, fallout will never touch him, and the powerful will always rally around themselves to retain their power. It takes Todd, the head of the company, the creator of Henry Fondle, and the one person who would benefit most from the unending efforts of the rest of the world bending over backwards to avoid the truth, to put a stop to it. In doing so, he immediately returns to his old, homeless, destitute self, but doesn’t once hesitate or look back.
It’s Todd, and only Todd, that stops that madness, because while individual people are a problem, the world at large is too. Stefani makes a great point that Diane holds herself and everyone else to impossible standards and a little forgiveness and grace wouldn’t go amiss, but when Diane suggests they apply that philosophy to their clickbait gossipy shit on their website, it’s just
Tumblr media
Which again, is beautifully cynical and depressing, but not untrue. Fostering a more forgiving culture isn’t in stopping websites from posting clickbaity takedown articles, it’s each person deciding not to take the clickbait. We can absolutely have a conversation about the people creating their world or the world creating its people, but when you boil it down, only one of those things can you yourself absolutely and directly change, and it’s not the entire world.
A THING DIANE GETS BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT.
I can’t take myself away from this Diane thing, I know, but only because she’s the fucking CORE of each and every one of us struggling with this idea. She’s the simplicity of it and the complication all in one. Not BoJack, which is NOT where I thought we’d be when we started this journey. BoJack is more an action on the people around him at this point in the story, he IS the world you cannot change. He’s pointed to rehab, and off he goes -- or doesn’t! I don’t think it’s coincidence that we stay with Diane and watch her watching him.
Oh, Diane, indeed. As she tells her story of her friend Abby, who threw her over for the cool kids, who turned every confidence into a scar. Who Diane still helped anyway, because Abby needed her. Did Abby learn from that, did she get better? We don’t know; we stay with Diane and watch her watching Abby. Diane, who can so completely understand about personal responsibility while failing to recognize her own enabling for the shitty things that keep happening to her.
You can control yourself. That’s it. That’s the only playground with a guarantee.
Will BoJack go off to learn that? Will Diane stay and figure it out?
THAT’S WHAT NEXT SEASON IS FOR
Something I was toying with including in this, but ultimately decided against for a variety of reasons, was the contrast between BoJack’s take on personal responsibility independent of external response, and The Good Place’s argument that people need external support for personal growth. An idea I may not have even considered contrasting save that Doc’s talked before about these two Jewish creators with what are clearly very different philosophies, and basically, if she were ever able to manage a discussion between them on this, I’d love to be in the room. I’ll be very quiet and not get in the way, I promise.
20 notes · View notes
finaledenialist · 3 years
Note
Okay, your tags on The Empty Post have showed up in my notes and I have to ask. Tell me more. Tell me it all. All of the feelings and thoughts about that scene because what I’ve seen so far? Absolute perfection and I agree wholeheartedly.
Thank you! Okay I basically unloaded most of my thoughts in my tags here but let’s go through this one more time. I may add: this was already said a thousand times by better meta writers than me 3 years ago when season 13 was actually airing. And I will ramble a little about Purgatory, too. Now with that out of the way: 
The Empty. Canonically it is a being, a living immortal being that rules the place or an ‘anti-place’ where angels and demons go are sent to when they die to dream of their regrets forever (this sounds awful and like a punishment for dying despite being immortal, for getting themselves killed or something). Also: the Empty was there before Creation, the Nothingness before Darkness and before Light. 
Okay. But let’s see what other things the Empty represents: lack of anything. Complete nothingness that Cas got sucked into (by Lucifer but also by helping the Winchesters). Now we know that Cas‘I am afraid I might kill myself’tiel had his issues, right (I still can’t believe that we are praising 8x08 thee Hunteri Heroici for being a filler episode with Cas - which is awesome, don’t get me wrong - but we all keep forgetting what he actually did say to Dean there!!! Dean says: are you afraid the angels will kill you if you show up in Heaven? And Cas looks straight into his eyes and says: After all I’ve done, when I see Heaven, I am afraid I might kill myself).
Please remember that it’s not only Dean, Mr. ‘Purgatory was pure’. Cas, after all he did in season 6, after his death in s7, after coming back and being literally haunted by everything he’s done, must have felt that Purgatory was liberating, too. It was some kind of an Alternative Universe where he didn’t have to face the consequences of his actions. He was free of them. It was literally his escape AND additionally it was (well, according to good old christian lore, maybe not specifically spn lore) a place where you are supposed to atone for your sins so there must have been the feeling of atoning, of making things right without actually doing anything specific, where having to survive and not get eaten by the Leviathans was his main problem (= surviving was just enough, nothing was asked of him), which, compared to all he’s done, wasn’t that hard or difficult. He found himself running away from Leviathans which could mirror running away from consequences of his actions - but it was Purgatory, it was at the same time atoning for what he did. It was EASY.
Cas basically confirms that he officially stayed in Purgatory because he didn’t think he deserved to go back to Earth and that is true but what he doesn’t say is: ‘Purgatory was pure and easy and kill or be killed and no other worries than that, no thinking, no real responsibilities which actually was a nice escape from the real world after all I did and been through in the past 3 years’. He wanted out, he wanted an easy choice. Okay, maybe he wasn’t actively looking for an easy way out but when it presented itself - when they appeared in Purgatory - he took it like a gift. We’re talking about a character who spent all his life following orders, who finally broke free and found himself completely lost in the freedom of choices, directionless and maybe wanted an escape. He must have felt overwhelmed but all this freedom (which he basically confirms in 6x20 freedom is a length of rope and god wants you to hang yourself with it). I COMPLETELY understand that choice to escape. 
So in seasons 8-12 Cas has a lot of stuff going on in his head, he gets lobotomized for most of season 8, he is hurt and tortured and treated like shit for most of season 9 and 10 and he ultimately gives himself up to Lucifer in s11 and then he almost dies in 12x12 and he never really got to talk about all of this or work this things out with anyone because Sam or Dean are not really the most talkative guys and Dean in 10x09 basically tells Cas to ‘let it go and not think about it’ which is a shitty advice to someone who suffers from some mental issues if I am being honest (this is like. ur depressed? oh go for a run and smile and stop being sad!!! kind of advice if you ask me). So these issues only grow and grow and start eating him up and please remember that at the very same time Cas is falling in love. I said it previously but I think the moment he realizes what he really feels is 12x12 when he is dying. In that moment he is able to name this feeling but it’s of course covered by: ‘I love you. I love all of you’. 
Now in season 12 he finally gets a proper arc with Kelly (god bless her, honestly, she and Cas had one of the most healthy relationships ever portrayed on tv and it wasn’t even romantic, I could go off about this but it’s getting really long anyway). So he kind of is on his way to find a purpose again - Dean is saved (from hell, from Michael, from the Mark), so he focuses on Kelly and unborn Jack and maybe in his relationship with her he rediscovers love (not necessarily romantic but he sees how she loves Jack) and he does all he can to protect her from basically everyone including the Winchesters. And he promises he will take care of Jack and then. Then he is killed by Lucifer (shattered at the altar of Winchester because he gets involved in the Apocalypse World because of them while having built something for himself with Kelly and Jack BUT still not having properly processed all his previous trauma). 
Okay, so fast forward: Cas is woken up by Jack in the Empty. He is of course confused and stuff (we still don’t know what was he dreaming about all this time he spent there now that we know this is a place where angels and demons dream about their mistakes and regrets <- fanfiction gap #1). He wakes up, he is ‘greeted’ by the Empty and one of the first things he says is that he has to go back because Sam and Dean need him. 
This is his first, automatic thought - I (probably) don’t want to go back, but Sam and Dean need me so I have to, I don’t want to go back for myself because I never wanted to since Purgatory but I know I have to. He doesn’t even think about Jack in this moment. I... maybe it is a stretch but I sense a kind of fear in these words. It’s like he thinks: ‘if I had the chance to come back and chose not to come back from selfish reasons then if the Winchesters ever find out about this they will be angry at me’. But I might be reading too much into this, but on the other hand Jesus fucking Christ this is precisely what happened in Purgatory. He chose to stay although he had a chance to return and the effect was Dean being mad at him. Talk about trauma--
Then the Empty (who was in Cas’ mind) voices his biggest fears: 
'I know who you love, I know what you fear. There is nothing for you back there. Wouldn't you rather be a fond memory than a constant festering disappointment?'
There is a lot to unpack here because this is the Empty’s (who, as stated at the beginning can be read as a manifestation of not only death but also Cas’ depression and self-worth issues) reaction to Cas saying that Sam and Dean need him. She says: uh oh you’re wrong<3 I know who you love, what you fear, the is nothing there for you, sweetie. Essentially: they don’t need you. No one needs you or wants you there. They are better off without you. Wouldn’t you rather be a fond memory (of actually being useful as in: saving Dean from hell, helping to stop the Apocalypse, helping to fight the Leviathans) than a disappointment (failing powers, makes mistake after a mistake, chooses to protect the unborn Antichrist rather than killing him before he’s born - and not to make this whole thing worse but this is what Dean has the audacity to say to Cas in 15x03: why if something goes wrong it always seem to be you).
I will now allow myself for some privacy, because I am a person who dealt with these kind of thoughts in my head for years, these are straight up suicidal thoughts: no one needs you, no one wants you, you are a disappointment and if you die you will be fondly remembered, everyone is better off without you. And we know Cas was suicidal because he literally tells us in 8x08 and we have no proof that he somehow got rid of these thoughts, ever. If anything, they were always there, present, if not growing. Thoughts like that don’t just disappear. Please remember one more time what was happening to Cas in seasons 8-11. He wasn’t healing. He was getting worse, while all this time managing to keep his head above water for someone else, while the guilt was rising and rising. 
If the Empty represents all his issues: depression, suicidal thoughts, guilt, self-hate, lack of self-worth, and what she offers is: eternal sleep. Maybe not entirely peaceful sleep, but sleep nevertheless, no consequences, no facing your fears, no dealing with anything, an escape, sleep - 
And she prompts him to stop fighting, to go back to sleep because there is nothing to fight for (now the symbolism of him being waken up by JACK who was his new found purpose just before he got killed), but she makes a mistake to confront his thoughts and fears with him. She makes a mistake of taking a ‘physical’ form, putting on his face and voice his fears. And Cas is a warrior and he kind of hates himself, so his instinct was to fight. Of course it was easier not to think about all of these stuff at all, to push it back, to try to forget. But once he was forced to face all of these? He fought back. AND HE WON!!!!! 
WHAT A MESSAGE TO SEND RIGHT?!!! You might have all these issues and not want to face them because you feel you will crush under them but look: when you are forced to face them it turns out you are somehow way stronger than them!!! The moment you choose to fight you already won, you are already saved!!! Because ultimately these are your thoughts and this is your mind and you control it, no one else! The moment you decide, you choose, to take control: you win. You are saved because you chose to save yourself because you decided you are worth saving. And the Empty (and everything she represents) immediately gets angry and lets him go, ultimately annoyed because he dared to defy her and she just can’t win with someone who decides he wants to be free. WHAT. 👏🏻  A.  👏🏻 WONDERFUL. 👏🏻  MESSAGE.  👏🏻
So... Having said all that. There is only one thing left: I have NO IDEA. NO IDEA. HOW HE FOUND THE STRENGTH. TO STAND UP AND SAY THIS:
I'm already saved. You can prance and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I'm awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for... ever. For eternity.
A FUCKING ICON. STRONGEST CHARACTER EVER. YOUR FAVE COULD NEVER--
73 notes · View notes
tobeornottotc · 3 years
Text
Gen Y Ep 1-9; Obligations and Want An analysis of the Love Triangle
You know those couples that you can't help but want to break down and analyse despite knowing you're a clown and you know it probably isn't that deep. But if it is confirmed later on that your suspicions were valid, then you would absolutely have that show become your favourite? Gen Y is like that for me. It has a cute straight forward main couple with Mark and Kit, but their story and plot aren't the main focus of the show. 
Tumblr media
An introduction to Gen Y
Tumblr media
The main focus is on the events that transpire in episode 1, immediately the love of his life dumps Mark's best friend, Wayu. Now, Gen Y is meant to a be parody/ fan fiction based on 2 Moons the series. We know the story of Wayu's lover and how they came to be. They were one of the biggest and most loved couples in BL. So this is interesting when we see that Pa leaves Wayu without any explanation and is a constant source of confusion and pain throughout the rest of the show. What makes it worse is when Pa decides to keep an eye on Wayu and ensure Wayu is alright, he proceeds to send in his best friend/ senior Thanu. And the exciting thing about this is Thanu looks a lot like Pa, tall, handsome, same department, same vibe. Wayu is immediately drawn to Thanu because he reminds him of Pa They both start to be closer to each other, (with the audience confused by if it's romantic or if it's platonic because of the book version of this story shows they're not going to be anything) Thanu to keep his promise to his friend, and Wayu because he sees Pa in Thanu. Basically, Thanu makes him feel closer to Pa, and he feels good and distracted by Thanu's presence. 
Tumblr media
Now the worst thing about all of this is that Thanu and Wayu have chemistry, but the audience is led to believe that they're meant to be more of a bait and not a real thing. Basically, the production team confirmed that these two weren't going to be together. Instead, Thanu was meant to have a relationship or loveline with a soulmate trope with Phai and Pa was going to return back to the show to explain himself probably and these two were probably meant to become the main couple storyline in season 2. Fair enough, that's an interesting premise. Except I can't help but think we're being trolled. It doesn't make sense. Because when you actually focus on the plotline that is Thanu and Wayu, you can see they're clearly falling hard for each other. Let me explain in more detail in both their perspectives. And why it's actually not confusing when you piece everything together for their episode 9 separation. 
Tumblr media
Wayu: The jilted
Wayu is heartbroken because of his devotion to his ex-boyfriend of a long time. Now if you remember 2Moons which this story is based on kind of, Wayu and Pa had a really intense, dramatic love story where both of them were utterly devoted to each other. Pa was Wayu's prince charming out of everyone and the only person that mattered to Wayu. Pause, when Wayu is broken up with Pa,  Wayu doesn't want to move on from Pa because he can't; basically, no one else will ever move his heart like that until Thanu shows up. Now at first Wayu latches unto Thanu (from their first meeting when he hugs his back and thinks he's Pa) because of his similarities to his ex and his presence reminds him of his ex. At first, that's all it is; he can't help but be comfortable and reliant on Thanu to distract him and give him information about Pa's whereabouts. In doing so, he slowly starts to care for Thanu and is still unable to let go of Pa. Pause again. There are moments wherein his pain and sadness, Wayu uses the similar presence of Thanu to mistake him for Pa thus their kiss/ almost kiss in episode 8 when he's crying about Pa leaving him. But as we look deeper, we see that it's more than that. 
Tumblr media
Wayu likes and is falling for Thanu, and it's not a bait, they're something. Wayu is protective over Thanu and enjoys being in his presence. They both make each other smile, and they both want to be around each other. Plus there's this natural tension with them since the first time they met not because of the Pa thing, but they get nervous and scared when they're with each other, they lean close and find themselves staring longingly at each other's lips and more. They're physically and emotionally attracted to each other, and they know it. Wayu slowly gets over Pa when Pa for the last time breaks his heart, in trying to get over that heartbreak Wayu starts to spend more time and attention with Thanu. Which is why we have episode 9, Wayu is betrayed and hurt by the realisation that all that was happening with Thanu was because of Pa again, and was because of obligation not want from Thanu. It broke his heart; you can see it despite the fact that he pretends it doesn't.
Tumblr media
 He tells Thanu the truth; he may have started off liking him because he reminded him of Pa, but actually, he started liking Thanu for Thanu. He was quick to protect and believe in Thanu even when Padbok was trying to make Thanu a villain. He saw how caring and smart and comforting Thanu could be not Pa. So really Wayu as of now has feelings for Thanu. And is torn between the realisation that he's no longer into his soulmate/person he should be with always, Pa and Thanu his best friend. It's a sticky situation, and that's why he pretended he was okay and told Thanu to find the right one. In a way, he felt like what they had, or what he felt for Thanu wasn't reciprocated because Thanu only stuck by his side because of the obligation to Pa. It also felt probably wrong to fall for Thanu, Pa's best friend,  when Pa is meant to be the one for him. The other thing, I wanted to say as well is that he regressed back into thinking that the reason he likes Thanu is because of the similarities he had to Pha. So he pushed down his feelings. 
Tumblr media
Thanu: The good friend
When Thanu first shows up, we find out he doesn't do love. Like he doesn't know what love is, or what it feels like. Thanu's character dynamic is focused on his loyalty to his friends. Two of his plotlines revolve around this. One includes Pa and Wayu, and the other includes Padbok. In both of these, he has no choice but to betray the friendship despite fighting hard not to. Bear this in mind, when you think about his actions throughout the whole show. He first shows up to Wayu out of obligation; it's because Pa could not explain why he left the love of his life and told Thanu to come to retrieve his belongings. 
Tumblr media
However, I think people forget one crucial information to know Thanu has liked Wayu for a while; he just didn't know it. He was actually touched and interested in getting to know Wayu because of how Pa described him. He liked who Wayu was, and when he saw Wayu, he said he was exactly as he described him. There's already an intrigue and interest in Wayu's welfare even before Pa asked him to keep an eye on Wayu. Wayu and Thanu have this intensity between them, and they both feel it but push it away, you can see it throughout the whole scenes, I used to think it just baited and fanservice for DunBas, but it wasn't, it was showing you they actually had feelings and chemistry that they noticed but ignored. Because at that moment, Wayu was still not over Pa, and Thanu did not know what love was. Pause. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Before we continue another thing we must notice is that Thanu tries his hardest to be a loyal best friend. He's made a mistake before with Padbok that probably haunts him and makes him feel like a failure/ bad person. He probably swore to himself he'll never end up in another situation where he betrays the trust of a friend. Padbok makes sure he doesn't forget the misunderstanding, and he feels guilty so much to not even try to explain what actually occurred and why he ended betraying him by mistake. This is important to his character. He doesn't want to betray a friend. What would be the worst betrayal apart from falling in love with your best friend's ex-lover who your best friend clearly isn't over?  So please take that into account and watch his actions with Wayu. 
Tumblr media
He clearly felt the same spark, energy and chemistry with Wayu, it both made them act nervous, it made them shifty, and it made them drawn to each other each time they were close. Thanu believes the reason why Wayu is this way is that he sees Pa in him. He says it in episode 9,  he knew he was being a replacement for Pa because of his similarities and he was asked to keep an eye on and prevent Wayu from breaking down by Pa. Thing is I think Pa stopped being the reason for why he wanted to be with Wayu. He also admits to this in episode 9, he and Wayu actually had a lot of fun together, they laughed, they spoke profoundly, and they were both worried and wanted to protect each other Pa or no Pa. I think that's important. Wayu's presence started to mean a lot to Thanu who had to confess to Wayu why he started being close to him. You could see in episode 9 he didn't want Wayu to leave he wanted him to know he wanted to be around him. But there are reasons why they can't cross that line
Because he's not even sure if this is love. He doesn't know what that feeling is (he needs to learn about it first with Phai I bet so that he can accept his feelings for Wayu)
Because of his determination not to betray a friend 
Because he was also being intrigued and distracted by Phai who he didn't know the reason why. 
So he also pushes his feelings down and is determined in episode 10 to give up on the Wayu feelings he started to have. They're not good, and he's not meant to think about Wayu that way, he's not meant to be with Wayu; he's meant to be with Phai. 
Tumblr media
Pha and Phai -The soulmate problem
Literally, the universe is forcing Phai and Thanu to be together. And whilst this is cute, it's shallow. There's not really a reason for why these two are soulmates, yes they could have a good romance together, and they're both intrigued and drawn to each other enough to be a recurring memory to them. But is that enough reason for why they're soulmates I don't know, with Thanu it is interesting to see him make some bold choice to draw Phai, it shows he's someone exciting and vital to him? It could be love at first sight which is fine, but I feel like with Wayu, there's been this build-up of longing and angst and repressed feelings because he can't be with Wayu in that way. In a way, Wayu challenges Thanu's mindset and character because his goals are being warped because of the messy feelings he's starting to have for Wayu. As a writer, the couple with more development, and more depth and reasons for why they should be together is Thanu and Wayu. 
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hear me out they both comfort each other during times of distress, Thanu literally is a comforting presence sent to Wayu for that purpose by Pa. Wayu comforts and takes care of Thanu when he's agitated and triggered by Padbok, they both like being with each other, they can talk deeply about their opinions and feelings like we see in episode 9. They compliment each other, they both make each other smile without meaning to, and they're clearly as I keep on repeating attracted to each other automatically before knowing. Yes, Pa was important for both of them. However, I think Wayu would have still been attracted and drawn to Thanu even without Pa, like the episode where they first meet, later on, they meet again at the cafe, and you can feel the longing, attraction and chemistry from when they look at each other when they bump into each other. I also think Thanu liked Wayu when he heard about his traits and his personality, and I think it's an innate thing not just because of Pa that he wants to take care of Wayu. 
Tumblr media
I think that's why Kit told him to be careful; he was blurring the lines between what he wanted to do, vs what he felt he should do for Pa. In his head Wayu only wanted Pa, and so it should stay that way. This couple without us knowing it actually has a tremendous angsty plot and it's actually interesting and impressive. But the sad thing about this is we're reverting back to the surface storylines with ThanuPhai and PaWayu at the end of this season. Is it really over for ThanuWayu, or are we being trolled? 
Tumblr media
Reasons I think we may be being trolled.
DunBas pre this show were asked by the production team to keep up with fanservice. They wanted us to ship and care for them. They wanted us to see their chemistry. Why if they're not going to end up together. It's bizarre when people tell me the producers said they're not end game or a couple in this series. I think that doesn't make any sense with how much the storyline is showing they both fell for each other hard. I feel it's not going to be completed easily in season 1. 
Phai and Sandee could be an interesting match. I questioned why people told me that Sandee didn't have any feelings for Phai because, in the book, he doesn't. I questioned it because Phai and Sandee's actors have been a known couple and have acted together romantically in The Moment. They have their own fan base, their own fan service and it didn't make sense to me why they would make us think Sandee had unrequited feelings only to just forget about that once Phai sees Thanu. I don't know why they would choose these two specifically as Phai and Sandee. 
There are more depth and storyline for Thanu and Wayu throughout the whole show. Yes in the book it's the same, but Thanu still ends up with Phai but what if we're being trolled what if the writer switched the couple. It's all nice to see the chemistry between DunBas and make Thanu confess that he cares deeply about Wayu and not just because of Pa, to see him actively try and avoid Wayu so he focuses on Phai suggests there's more there than just a platonic relationship. They can't just go back to letting Wayu be sad, and Thanu move on, maybe in the book but that's not the vibes I'm getting from the show.
Pa is coming back, and he's important obviously. His reason for why he left could make or break ThanuWayu. I think that's what I'm going to have to wait to understand. Because right now Pa doesn't seem like a great love interest maybe that's why season 2 will be based on them because it'd be angsty and dramatic once we find out why, but I don't know his actions this whole show has been quite upsetting. I will say that Wayu might not be over him yet since he probably still holds some kind of love for him since he's the one for him or whatever, but isn't it ironic that both Wayu and Thanu find themselves in a predicament. Do they choose to throw away their 'soulmate' the people who they should be with, who the universe wants them to be with or do they choose each other because they are falling for each other. That dilemma makes them again even more in-depth and engaging as a couple.
It would be such a great plot if ThanuWayu still holds their feelings for each other. It'll bring the questions up about what love is really all about, how destiny plays a role in that, and what is required to be a good partner. It also would make the love square even more interesting to keep watching in season 2.
Tumblr media
So yeah if it's not apparent. I'm trying really hard to give this ThanuPhai thing a try but with the ridiculous magical system of the world forcing them to be together despite them not even knowing anything about each other doesn't sit well with me. Like yeh, soulmate trope is adorable, but I really need more evidence and reason why they compliment each other. Right now looking into each other's eyes and feeling a spark is not enough for me to want this to be end game. Also, I think there was a foreshadowing in that scene that people will overlook. When they touched hands again, they couldn't see the future they saw before. That's a hint that this on the surface it's not something long-lasting. I think they're both helping each other know what love is, so they recognise their real feelings for the other people by their side.
Not to mention all the foreshadowing this episode that the person he wants is Wayu (the music box represented his heart/desire) and he gave it to Wayu. And the visions he and Phai see are telling us he will choose to date Phai but won’t be able to move on from Wayu but Pa will come back and both of them will be stuck in their respective obligational relationships it doesn’t mean he won’t care about Phai. Also the reason why he and Phai are having a bitter sweet conversation is because his heart is somewhere else with Wayu probably Phai loves him but I’m sure Sandee will be a factor too later in the future. I think all these couples apart from MarkKit were a slow burn and unfortunately I think the directors and screen writer didn’t plan it well because I think people are losing patience with everything in the show. I do like Wayu and Thanu, and Thanu and Phai and if it is as I think it’s being planned, then I’ll actually be into this show more. I still want more dimensional characters that have more than just one personality. And I want Pa back to see his reason
Tumblr media
However, because Thanu has never felt this before and Phai has never as well, I guess that has to count for something? But I would have preferred that the show has been secretly misleading us and the plot twist is that ThanuWayu and SandeePhai may be slow burns but the endgame couple. I would believe in that and would watch the drama unfold for the next two seasons of this show. What are you guys thinking? Who are you shipping? What are your reasons? Do you agree with me that we might be getting trolled. I know the book is saying a different thing but even in that, we don't know who Wayu is going to be with it's not been fully completed. I think the DunBas fanservice was done on purpose; the casting was done on purpose even if they say it wasn't. I guess I'll be a clown till the end of this season until Pa shows up and gives me a better reason why he did all of this and why Wayu should go back to him
63 notes · View notes
mimik-u · 4 years
Text
“Change Your Mind” Re-watch:
I’ve been dealing with this feeling on and off ever since I started “Diamond Days” earlier this week, but dang, I’m a little sad that I’ve reached the end of the show again. Of course, I’m excited to visit the movie again and see Future for the first time (!!!), but this episode above all really marks the end of an era. But things end and things change.
That’s the thesis of this episode anyway. And really, the nature of this beautiful show. :’)
Steven’s dream sequence is so haunting, both in terms of it explicitly showing us how Blue Diamond is currently recapitulating the very same cycles which pushed Pink away by showing us such a similar flashback from the past, but also by dredging up the horror of Pink’s memories. The idea that Steven’s gem still has access to some of his mother’s memories is used to its most visceral effect here, in which we get a nightmare heightened lens of how miserable she was, and often times, scared.
When the Diamonds stretched out their grieving hands through the cosmos and towards the world their youngest member loved, how did Rose feel to at once get a confirmation that she had been loved? Loved so powerfully that the Diamonds would try to destroy an entire planet to exact their revenge, and yet, at the same time, loved so terribly that they would never think twice about doing so, or that it took this for them to ever show it?
“This... isn’t normal. How many times did you lock her in here? How many times did you make her cry?” / “I didn’t... I... And I’m doing it again, aren’t I?” God, this exchange always undoes me. Not only is it Steven calling Blue out, but in a way, it’s him standing up for his mother, realizing what misery the Diamonds put her through and putting a name on it for Blue to recognize, contend with, and finally, accept. Blue tries to defend herself at first, but then, in the end, can’t. Because there’s no defense. There’s no excuse. And to horribly mangle a quote from Legend of Korra, by reaching that lowest point, Blue Diamond finally becomes open to the possibility of change.
It’s always so evocative to me that she collapses next to the tower window that’s at her eye level. Never explicitly stated, I think it really is implied here that Yellow and Blue have seen their fair share of this tower before, too, their trespasses of decorum excised out of them by White. In return, they tried to do the same to Pink. Cycles and cycles and cycles.
Gsleidjsneioeis, it never fails to make me laugh that Yellow is just sitting in the darkness, straddling her throne, waiting for Blue. Emo ass. I love her.
The Diamonds both look so shocked when Blue slaps Yellow’s hand away, as though neither of them can fathom, process, and believe what just happened. And yet, really, this is the climax to the schism between them that we’ve known since “That Will Be All.” They love each other—they loved Pink—but they have differed, fundamentally, on how to grapple with the pain of loving someone and losing her and existing from then on.
“When we thought Pink was shattered, when she abandoned us, I alone was there for you, and you would use your power against ME?” GO OFF, PATTI LUPONE EIEOSJSA. But this line gets me, too. Jesus. Yellow loves Blue so much.
“Didn’t we hurt Pink? She was suffering in silence for ages, just like our gems, just like me. And I know you’re suffering in silence, too.” HHHHHHH, AND THIS LINE. I think it’s significant because it’s Blue making a move we’ve rarely seen from her before—empathy. Her whole complex is that she’s been so lost in her own emotions that she forces them on everyone else, but here she does something monumental; not only does she acknowledge her own pain, but she uses it to recognize that others have been hurting, too. She and Yellow hurt Pink. (She makes herself and Yellow the agents of the action, therefore not evading the blame.) And so many of their gems have been hurt, too. Yellow has been hurting.
In her vulnerable expression that follows, it’s clear to the audience that Yellow knows her fellow Diamond’s words to be true, but she’s not ready to accept their veracity, to look inwards at the heart of her own misery. Also, help. I’m only 9 minutes into the episode.
“Does this look perfect to you?” And Yellow’s anger is stopped in its tracks. She looks immediately to Blue, literally smoking on the ground from the force of her attack. A fragment of palace crumbles emptily away. And this is the crux of the Homeworld Empire. It demands every gem, from the Diamonds downward, to sacrifice in the name of of perfection. But they’ve placed too much of an emphasis on appearance, numbers, quantity, and power, never interrogating the consequences that pursuing these ‘impressive’ entities bring: misery, hopelessness, despair.
“Stop... stop it, Blue. Stop using your power on me.” / “I’m not.” Hhhhhhhhh, I’m tender. And then, when Blue Diamond sweeps over to hold Yellow’s head?????? This is what being a Bellow Diamond fan is all about, okay rieososossnjaaj.
“You’ve made a grave mistake. Go to your rooms!” / “Uh, which rooms should we go to?” GJKHDFVHJNJJ. But yeah, White has definitely used the tower on Blue and Yellow b4.
Bismuuuuth, Lapis, Peri!!! God, I love Lapis’s outfit so much.
“Yellow and I will keep White distracted.” / Just go! Go! Hurry! She’s getting up!” Blue and Yellow know that in making this choice, they’ll face severe consequences, but still initially make the choice anyway.
And yet, Steven doesn’t let them make that choice. He doesn’t run away. Because he and this show fundamentally believe that change is effected through communication.
I still have thirty minutes of this episode left to go oskeodjsnsnsk, but now I need to symbolically talk about the Diamond mecha. It’s very on point that White’s ship can’t function if the other parts aren’t cooperating!!
The Diamonds finally expressing their vulnerabilities to the blankly staring ship is just so sad. They’re finally doing the emotional work that they’ve been neglecting for thousands upon thousands of years, and they’re almost literally meeting a wall.
“We Diamonds might be hard, but we’re also brittle.” / “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” Hhhhhhhhhh, these lines. The rigidity of the Diamond Authority has forced Yellow and Blue to become hard, to be unhappy. They, like all their gems, are suffering beneath the strain. Starting from the way it literally drains a planet of resources, this empire was never sustainable.
Cries bc the Diamonds are holding hands, AND THEN CRIES BECAUSE THEY’VE BEEN VIOLENTLY AND PAINFULLY PUPPETEERED.
THE FUSING MONTAGE!!! EKSSKSJ, I love how when he goes to fuse with Pearl, he does a few ballerina moves. AND I LOVE HOW 2.0 IS UNREPENTANTLY BRITISH. IT’S SO FJNNY AND RIGHT.
“AH! Steven, we fused!” She’s so happy!!!!!!!!!! Hhhh!!!!!
“I’m here. I love you.” Steven says this before fusing with Garnet, and there’s nothing else that could have ever been so fitting for a fusion who prides herself on being here and being made, so beautifully and entirely, of love.
Sunstone always looks and sounds like they’re two seconds away from breaking the 4th wall on a Sunny D commercial from the 1990s, and that’s amazing.
OBSIDIAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN. Everything about them is FUCKING EPIC. (Also, if you haven’t listened to the S5 soundtrack yet, you need to go listen to Obsidian’s track without background noises!!!!!!! It’s so motivating! I listen to it when I’m studying sometimes!)
I’m still soft about Bismuth giving Connie her own sword. Let them b sword buddies 2k20.
BIG FYCKING LAVA SWORD!!!!
The animation on this episode is absolutely insane. God, the Crewniverse did so good.
“Poor Yellow. Her impurities absorb all the blue in her light. She’s so strong, but so weak when it comes to Blue.” 😭😭😭 What do you mean I’m still emotional over the fact that Yellow Diamond’s one perceived weakness is Blue? Hahahaha.
“Ah, and Blue. Her impurities soak up all the warmth in her spectrum. She thinks she needs you, Pink.” 😭😭😭 She needs Pink to be warm.
“But you’re a part of me, the part I always have to repress.” White doesn’t yet realize it, but this is actually her revealing her own flaw. Not only does she repress her love for Pink, but she represses her own sense of pinkness, too. So cerebral and so detached, she’s allowed herself to exist for these past 6,000+ years in the gaping maw without Pink as a being who has subjugated the entirety of her emotional expression. Just as Blue and Yellow are equals and opposites, so too, were Pink and White.
“Insecure, dependent, obsessed.” God. Another thing about White Diamond’s powers in relation to Pink is that White has the capacity to know a gem’s thoughts once she possesses them, whereas Pink was able to relate and empathize with their emotions. And indeed, that’s how Steven came to know and help the Gems’ problems over the course of the entirety of this show—through empathy, relation, compassion, and understandings, concepts so foreign to White Diamond. Simply alien.
POV: You’re Connie Maheswaran, and you have to fight a possessed bastardization of the Gem who once lovingly taught you everything you know about how to wield a sword.
White Diamond so simply and so precisely plucking Steven’s gem out of his stomach is the single most terrifying visual on this show. Jfc.
“SHE’S GONE.” The animus of the Pink Diamond gem prmordially screams the truth that White Diamond refuses to accept. Pink is gone. There’s no undoing death. There’s no separation from gem and body. There is only, just as there has always been for fourteen years, Steven.
He is not, and never will he ever be, his mother.
Oh, my God. This show.
And just as White Diamond parting Steven from his gem is the scariest moment in the show, Steven reuniting with him is the most transcendent. He laughs. He hugs himself. He dances. Because Steven Universe is entirely his own being.
And he loves himself. That is the crucial part. That is the beginning and the end and the resolution. Oh, my GOD. This show.
“I am a child. What’s your excuse?” KWIDIDOSJSKSKSISOSMA, GET HER.
Steven walking over to comfort Pink Pearl, even though he doesn’t know her, even though the only iteration he has seen of her has been her lobotomized version—forbidding and detached—is so tender.
WISOSJSJS, I know this is emotionally deep and indicative of just how ingrained their psychological complexes are that they don’t know how to deal with vulnerable expressions of emotion, but White, Yellow, and Blue being so dramatic about White blushing is honestly hilarious.
Sadie singing “Let Me Drive My Van into Your Heart” is so good, but what’s even better is that two second shot of Greg blushing listening to his song being sung. ;-;
Oh! Oh! And Barb is in the audience! Character development! Growth!
“No more hiding! No more running! No more Diamond Authority!” KWOWOEJDKDOSJSJSISSJSJ.
Lion padding up to Lars in a silent recognition that they’re the same ;-;-;-;
I think Sadie and Lars reuniting with such drastically different appearances and mindsets is simply just one of the coolest ways this show has come full circle. This show’s about everyone changing. Look at these two. Look at where they started, and now, where they’ve begun again.
Genuinely crying at the last few shots of the show again. Oh, my GOD. The pure, unmitigated joy. Nephrite and Steven. Bismuth and Biggs. Garnet and Pearl. Jasper and Amethyst. The Diamonds.
This show really is about love and forgiveness and healing, y’all. 😭😭😭😭
AND THEN THEY COMPLETE THE SHOT FROM THE INTRO. I AM UNWELL. IT’S 8AM.
This show, in every sense of the word, is a miracle.
Thank you, Crewniverse for this comet of epic proportions.
67 notes · View notes
notes-from-sarah · 3 years
Text
Damaged Mirrors
Tumblr media
Link on Archive of Our Own
Link on Fanfiction.net
Rating: G/K
Summary: While making his report about what happened on Umbara to Anakin, Rex has questions about his identity as a clone, his role as a soldier and his place in the galaxy. Set during Star Wars: The Clone Wars. One-shot. Canon compliant.
A/N: Set after Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Season 4, Episode 10 “The Carnage of Krell”
*****
Rex stood silently after making a full report of the events on Umbara to Anakin Skywalker. He knew the general pretty well and he could see that the Jedi was furious. Soldiers weren't supposed to be angry, but in all honesty, he felt the same way. So did all his men. He waited for his general to speak.
"That," Anakin struggled to find the right words, "that," his voice shook almost uncontrollably, "that monster intentionally tried to get clones killed on the battlefield?"
Rex tried to keep his voice at the even tone of any good soldier as he answered. "Yes sir, he confessed to it while many of us were present." Rex could hardly forget those words, they'd haunted him in the following days. The feeling of betrayal mixed with the absolute condescension from Krell sickened him. He focused on Anakin, he couldn't let himself dwell on what happened. A good soldier had to take the horrors of war in stride.
"And you had to execute him because you were afraid he would escape and join the Separatists?" Anakin clenched his fist, his eyes hard.
"We did, sir." Rex dropped his voice a little, it was only the two of them in this briefing room on Resolute and Rex wasn't sure how much longer he could talk about what happened in a crisp military manner.
"Good." Anakin's brow was furrowed, fury in every line of his face. Rex knew he meant it. Of all the people Rex had ever encountered in his short life, Anakin Skywalker was one of the most honest.
"Sir," Rex was anxious about what would happen next, everything he'd done, everything he'd ordered, was unprecedented. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd committed treason on Umbara. Nothing they'd ever learnt in training had prepared him for this. "If I may ask, what will become of us, specifically Dogma? He may have pulled the trigger, but executing Krell was my order."
Anakin crossed his arms over his chest, his hands still clenched into fists. "I won't let Dogma face punishment for saving his fellow troopers from the enemy. And I won't let you or any of the 501st face disciplinary action because of Krell. He was a traitor and the Jedi council will understand that. If I would have been there I would have killed him myself."
Rex didn't doubt it. Unfortunately, Anakin hadn't been there. It was just the clones versus the Jedi. The whole ordeal had left him shaken in a way he couldn't have anticipated. The Jedi didn't seem as safe as they once did. The Jedi were supposed to fight side by side with the clones, not against them. He couldn't fathom how someone who was supernaturally connected to all life could so callously throw it away. Did the clones really mean that little to the Jedi? To others? He tried not to think about it.
Anakin came over to Rex and looked him square in the eye. "Tell me truthfully, Rex, are you okay?"
Rex looked up at Anakin. A good soldier was only ever supposed to have one answer. "I wasn't injured during the conflict, sir."
"That's not what I asked." Anakin's eyes narrowed. "Krell betrayed the Republic, betrayed the Jedi and most of all betrayed you clones. I should have been there, I should have stopped him. Now you've had to suffer because I wasn't there."
Rex swallowed. He didn't feel okay. He heard in Anakin's words the same refrain of self blame that had come to mark this particular Jedi's musings on the war. The general hadn't been built for war, it was hard on him and he seemed to think that he should be able to single-handedly change the tides of battle just by being present. Whenever he failed he buried himself with guilt over the matter.
Rex, on the other hand, had been built for war, it was all he'd known his entire life. He knew better than to let emotions come into play. It clouded your judgment and primed you to make big mistakes. He knew better than to feel guilty about doing his duty or for others doing theirs. Rex felt guilty now. He'd sent his men into certain danger because he unwittingly followed orders he knew were bad. He had turned against a Jedi, the command structure of the whole army, and had ordered that the besalisk be executed. He had failed to be a good soldier.
Rex tried to steel himself. He didn't want to show the general that he was weak. "I'll be fine, sir. You don't have to worry about me."
Anakin stared into his eyes with an almost frightening intensity. "Yes, I do."
A chill raced down Rex's spine. The general wasn't going to let him get away with evasive answers. "Honestly, sir," Rex paused for a long moment, "this whole ordeal has been," Rex's eyes darted away from Anakin's, he was ashamed to even admit it, good soldiers weren't weak. "It's been upsetting." Upsetting was just the tip of the iceberg, but he didn't know how to be more open.
"Rex, you did everything you could. You did everything right." Anakin's voice was hard as he tried to reassure his captain.
"Sir, if did everything right, why did so many end up dead?" Rex glanced back at Anakin. He was standing firmly on his emotions but he couldn't fully prevent them from leaking though all the same.
Anakin dropped his gaze. "I don't know. I don't know why it is that sometimes even when you do everything right it still all goes wrong."
Rex could clearly hear the emotion in the Jedi's voice. Emotion that he wished he could show himself. Good soldiers didn't break down in front of their generals. Good soldiers stayed strong. The Jedi had the luxury of being men and women first, then Jedi, and finally generals. The clones? They were first and foremost soldiers, tools, war machines. Sometimes Rex wondered if anyone realized they were flesh and blood.
Anakin turned away from Rex and looked out of the transparisteel window at the hyperspace sky. Hands behind his back he assumed the position he took when he was thinking deeply on some matter. "Rex," he said at last, "what do you think about what happened?"
"I gave you my report, sir." Rex wasn't sure what else the general wanted from him.
Anakin glanced over his shoulder at Rex. "And I heard the facts of the mission as you reported them. What do you think about what happened?"
Rex tightened his grip on the helmet that was tucked under his arm. He wasn't accustomed to giving out his unfiltered thoughts to non-clones. "I think that I should have broken protocol earlier." If he'd done what his gut told him a lot of lives could have been saved. "If I'd been more decisive I could have spared a lot of good men death and injury from a being," he put as much venom into the word being as he dared, "who saw us as disposable tools, no better than some flesh covered clankers."
Anakin closed his eyes at the comment. "Don't blame yourself, Rex, that's an order."
Rex guessed he must have been a bit too self-pitying in this conversation so far. He'd be mindful not to show such partiality again. Good soldiers were neutral.
Anakin opened his eyes again. "Blame Krell." Anakin's voice was hard as iron. "Krell is the only one at fault here. He tricked and manipulated you. He betrayed you. Don't hate yourself, hate him."
"Sir, my men are my responsibility. I didn't stop him." Rex knew he probably shouldn't be arguing with the general, but all the same he felt his failed duty very keenly.
"You and the 501st are good men, all of you brave and true. Krell tried to corrupt you, to poison you but he failed." Anakin gripped his hands behind his back. "I am lucky to fight by your side, Rex, you are one of the best men I've ever known. Don't let Krell win, don't blame yourself for what he did."
Rex ran his thumb over his helmet feeling the familiar ridges. "Do you really think that, sir?" It had been bugging him since Krell had gone on his tirade about the clones. "Do you really think of me, of us, as men?"
Anakin turned to face Rex fully, an expression of slight surprise on his face. "Of course I do. You're one of the bravest, smartest people I know. How could I think of you as anything else?"
Rex looked down at the floor. "Me and the others, we feel like we're men, feel like that means something. That we're more than just androids programmed for destruction. That's what we were taught on Kamino and that's how we live our lives every day, but out here," Rex gestured broadly to the room at large and metaphorically to the galaxy at large, "it seems that most beings don't think of us that way. I always thought the Jedi were different. It always seemed like they were until, well," Rex didn't finish his thought, he didn't have to. In the silence that followed he rubbed his other hand over his helmet feeling the various pits and dings.
Anakin stepped closer to Rex putting a firm hand on his shoulder. "The Jedi see your humanity, Rex. They see how the clones get up every day and fight this war with no relief. They see how you lay down your lives in pursuit of peace in the galaxy with no thought of your own reward. Out of all the people in the galaxy I think the clones and the Jedi are the most alike. Krell fooled us all, I should have seen his treachery before things ever got this far." Anakin shook his head. "But know this: Krell was not a Jedi. A real Jedi would never have done what he did. A real Jedi would never have betrayed the Council and the Republic and most of all his clones." Anakin gripped Rex's shoulder tighter and gave him a small, emphatic, shake. "We couldn't win this without you, Rex."
Rex couldn't help but feel moved by Anakin's words. Even after all the betrayal he'd faced at the hands of Krell, Anakin had his trust full and complete. He'd follow the general to hell and back if that's what he ordered. Maybe the Jedi and the clones did have a special sort of connection, maybe that's what made them such a good team on the battlefield. But what about off the battlefield? What about all those people in the galaxy who weren't Jedi? Would they ever be able to see beyond the face of a clone and realize it was the face of a man? When the war was over, what would happen to him?
"Sir," Rex hesitated, a good soldier shouldn't be asking questions like this, "do you think there's a future for us after the war?"
A long moment of silence stretched between them, Anakin seemingly lost in his thoughts. At last he shook himself slightly and seemed to come back to the present. His voice was low and uncertain as he said, "I hope so."
19 notes · View notes
pastrnaks-sainz · 4 years
Text
Prompt List!!!!
So to make my life a bit easier, I decided to throw together a quick prompt list. You guys can use this when you’re requesting fics, and I’ll pull from it occasionally if I need some inspiration. I’ll sort into fluffy and smutty prompts so you can have your pick of which one you’re in the mood for!
(also the ones in bold are ones that I’ve added)
Fluffy
“Your hair is softer than mine”
“Stop moving!”
“Go to sleep or I swear to God I’ll make you chamomile tea and cuddle you”
“Is that my sweatshirt?”
“I’m so not jealous”
“Use my conditioner”
“Is that a new perfume?”
“You changed shampoos”
“Поцелуй меня” (kiss me)
“Let me rub your back”
“Take my jacket”
“It’s okay, I was awake anyway”
“Wanna go down to the arcade and play Pac-Man until we get in trouble?”
“How is it the moonlight makes you look that much prettier?”
“You were talking in your sleep”
“I learned a new language for you”
“You think I’m pretty?”
“He told me if I didn’t come talk to you he would take away my PlayStation”
“Read to me”
“I didn’t want to wake you up. You’re adorable when you’re asleep”
“Let's adopt a puppy”
“Have you been hanging out with my mom?”
“Sorry, your bed was just really warm”
“Use my phone”
“When I look at you I get this fuzzy feeling in my chest and I don’t know why”
“You got popcorn just so you could feel like a teenager again, didn’t you?”
“Say that again, but in English this time”
“Please don’t leave me”
“Who gave you permission to go out in public looking like that?”
“Kiss me again”
“You looked miserable, I thought I’d come save you”
“I’m not one for all this fancy ballroom stuff, let’s go hang out in our pajamas and get wine drunk”
“Thunder is just the angels getting excited whenever they score a goal”
“I saw you in the stands last night”
“You got a new haircut”
“That’s my seat” 
“Quit being such a baby and let me put a new Band-Aid on your face” 
“Because I love you and I don’t when it happened” 
“You gotta tell her, man. She’ll driver herself crazy if she doesn’t know there’s a puppy in your locker” 
“So... are we supposed to like, kiss now?” 
“I’ve seen the way you look at him” 
“You fell. Hard” 
“Will you two just kiss already?” 
“You’re my everything” 
“Shut the fuck up and hold my hand, loser” 
“I need a hug. Just a hug from a big, tall, strong hockey player who smells really good after he gets out of the shower”
“You keep a photo of me in your wallet?”
“I can’t think of a life  where you’re not by my side” 
“You look good in white”
“I’ve never, and will never, be happier than I am with you”
“Your laugh is my ringtone” 
“Isn't this how most romcoms start? Two hot people stuck in an elevator?”
“What would you do if I kissed you right now?”
“Big bad *team name* player and you’re afraid of spiders” 
“Did you get any sleep last night?”
“Come on, we’re going ring shopping” 
“I do” 
“I was going to try to be smooth and all but you’re super pretty and now I’m nervous”
“You look at her like she hung the moon” “To me she hung the galaxy” 
“Are you gonna kiss me or not?”
“We are so not getting matching Halloween costumes” 
“My mother always said athletes make the worst boyfriends. I can’t wait to tell her how wrong she is” 
“Can you- do you want to- please stay with me, I don’t want to be alone” 
“That was dramatic” “You loved it” 
“Will you to fake-prom with me?” 
“Sure puppies are cute and all but have you looked in a mirror?” 
“I can’t believe you're the guy I decided to spend the rest of my life with” 
“I have got to be the luckiest guy in the world” 
“They told me you’d kick my ass, I wanted to see if they were right” 
“If you laugh at something I said then write a fake number on my arm I win twenty bucks from each of them. Help a guy out?” 
“How many episodes of The Office have you watched today?” 
“Be the Pam to my Jim?” 
“You’re lucky you’re cute” 
“Sorry, I’m replacing you with this kitten” 
“You have a poster of me on your wall? Do you kiss it before you go to bed every night?” 
“Stop talking and kiss me” 
Smutty
“You are so hot when you’re mad”
“Damn, I didn’t realize you were so flexible”
“Yoga does wonders for the body, you know” 
“I can’t wait to mark you up” 
“As good as you look in that dress you’d look better without it” 
“Don’t stop” 
“Wait for me” 
“A beautiful sight, you wearing nothing but my jersey waiting for me” 
“Take it off” 
“Right there” 
“I wish I could see you right now but phone sex is gonna have to do it” 
“And you didn’t touch yourself?” 
“Can I tie you up?” 
“No touching” 
“Pull my hair” 
“After that picture you sent me I could barely focus on the game” 
“You look so hot with that scratch on your cheek” 
“So sexy with all your tattoos” 
“This apartment doesn’t have thin walls” 
“Come on, I want the team to know whose you are” 
“I barely even touched you and look at the mess you made” 
“Be gentle” 
“Look at me” 
“You dressed up for me” 
“You tease me during my game, I tease you now. It’s only fair” 
“You might wanna use my foundation and cover that bruise up” 
“I don’t wanna hurt you” 
“Bed. Now” 
“Honey I got all the time in the world” 
“It’s not like your parents are home” 
“I can do it in under five minutes” 
“Shut the door behind you” 
“If you don’t stop staring at my ass I will take you right here on this workbench” 
“Tell me what you want”
“Shower sex is complicated, but lucky for you I’m an excellent teacher” 
“That accent is the sexiest thing about you” 
“Don’t act all innocent, you had me pinned against that wall ten minutes ago” 
“Where’d you learn to do that?” 
“What were you dreaming about?” 
“Tonight is all about you, now put your hands above your head for me, baby” 
“The last time you did that I couldn’t walk for three days” 
“Your hands all over my body was the only thing I could think about at work today” 
“Take your shirt off” 
“You’ve always been my favorite meal”
“I was in the middle of an interview when you sent me that picture”
“Get a room, you two!”
“Don’t cover your mouth, you sound too good to do that”
“You’re the only thing that’s gone right today”
“You’ll be my first”
“I want to watch you touch yourself”   
“I promise you I’m not going to break” 
“Did I stutter?” 
“You have a tattoo?” 
“You and I are the only ones in here, baby” 
“I’ve never known you to be the shy type” 
“I didn’t mean to see you in nothing but panties and a bra, but you left your door open” 
“I never knew you could do that” 
“And in what frat house did you pick up that little trick?” 
“Somehow you’re sexier tonight than you were last night” 
“Has anybody ever touched you before me?” 
“I’ll take good care of you, baby” 
“You are officially on the naughty list” 
“I haven’t been home for more than five minutes and you’re already on your knees for me” 
“I knew you'd want dessert” 
“There are only two reasons you’d call me at one in the morning and judging from the way you’re dressed nobody’s dead” 
“Am I your first?”
Seasonal Prompts
Halloween
“It’s officially spooky season *insert character*, you know what that means” “Pumpkin everything?” “Pumpkin everything”
“Who ate all the candy?!”
“You're not going trick or treating, you’re too old for that”
***“I plan on getting more than one kind of freaky tonight”
“What the hell are you supposed to be?”
“Nope, I’m not scared. Why would think I’m scared? I’m totally not scared”
“I’m pretty sure I have claw marks from your nails”
“Please tell me that’s syrup”
“This haunted house was fifty bucks, I better die for that kind of money”
“Supernatural marathon at my place later, you’re bringing the candy”
“Are we about to make out in a graveyard?”
“Did you seriously injure yourself carving a pumpkin?” “Hey, the knives are sharp”
“Pumpkin spice is the love of my life” “I thought I was the love of your life”
“Don’t you watch horror movies? Splitting up always ends up with someone dead”
“We should do a couples costume” “Yeah, no”
“Nothing in this world is more satisfying than that crunch when you step on a leaf”
“It’s staring at me, *character* why is the scarecrow staring at me?”
“If someone asks, that skeleton of the Werewolf in my front yard is decorative”
“You can jump in the leaf pile if you help me rake”
“How can you love Halloween but hate horror movies?”
“Yeah, bring out the Ouija Board, what could possibly go wrong”
“We are not dogging up Harry Houdini’s grave”
“I think that zombie just grabbed my ass”
“First question; is that fake blood? Second question; if it isn’t is it your blood?”
***“The movie isn’t the only reason you’ll be screaming tonight”
“What are you gonna do? Burn me at the stake?”
“If you find an eyeball, don’t worry it’s not human”
“Ten pumpkins seems a little excessive” “It’s not excessive, it’s festive”
“Did that scarecrow just move or have I had too much punch?”
“My fangs just fell out”
“Yeah, let's go for a walk in the woods. I’m sorry, did you see Blair Witch Project?”
“It’s official, the house is haunted”
Christmas/New Years
“That has got to be the ugliest sweater I’ve ever seen”
“I told you I couldn’t bake, you didn’t listen”
“Look up, there’s mistletoe”
“This was my dream as a little kid, decorating a Christmas tree with a hot guy who just so happened to be my boyfriend”
“You should wear red more often”
“This is exactly how I envisioned you meeting my parents” “You envisioned me meeting your parents while running away from a flaming Christmas tree?”
“Tell me again, slowly this time, how the table cloth caught fire”
“You had the window seat on the way to Thanksgiving dinner, it’s my turn”
“This feels like the start of a rom com, two people stuck on a chair lift with a blizzard coming in”
“So you’re the one with the obnoxious light display”
“If I have to fake a smile for any longer I might actually commit murder so get me out of here as fast as you possibly can”
“My grandmother will not hesitate to force feed you Christmas cookies”
“I’ve always dreamed of having my first kiss on New Years Eve at midnight”
“Looks like we’re gonna have a white Christmas”
“Did you even use any wrapping paper, because this looks like it’s ninety percent tape”
“All I want for Christmas is you” “Cheesy”
“I never said I could skate”
“I thought a sleigh ride would be romantic”
“How the hell did you manage to hurt yourself putting up Christmas lights?”
93 notes · View notes