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sawyerconfort · 8 months

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eyes on fire | lottie matthews x fem!reader

I said two posts in a row and I DID IT!

Enjoy, Yellowjackets fandom!

Thanks for the likes and follows, by the way!

Requests open! Send me an ask if you want to! (I normally don't take requests from messages, sorry!)

Masterlist for these ladies coming soon!

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Prompt: After Misty's disastrous Doomcoming, some things between you and Lottie need to be straightened out. But she still doesn't seem truly regretful about what happened at the party, and it might be too late to run away now…

WARNINGS: smut, sub!reader, dom!lottie, mentions of possession and cannibalism, post-fight sex, make-up sex, +18 (not really but be careful), mentions of platonic natalie x reader, lottie being bratty, lottie swearing and being a hot gay mess.

***

The morning after the party started off wildly. The mood was not at all favorable and there seemed to be tension between the girls in general, not to mention poor Javi who had mysteriously disappeared the night before, leaving his brother a nervous wreck.

A fight between your friends was what you least needed right now. Months had already passed, you had already gotten used to life after the plane crash - another absurd thing that you never imagined you would be a part of - and everything seemed to be settling into place even though you had to deal with the chaotic life in the forest on your own.

It was a daily struggle to survive, and you were doing pretty well. You were confident that you could handle it until someone came to rescue you. Eating deer and bear meat wasn't even that bad.

Except for last night, you were sure you were going to die.

And maybe you'd prefer it now, if you knew you were going to have to face your teammates fighting.

You had no idea how the argument had started, because you weren't in the cabin. You knew Misty had something to do with it and that she was talking about last night's party. A few girls were arguing about being possessed by something - like Jackie and Shauna, screaming for no reason a few steps away from you.

But you visibly remembered one thing.

Lottie Matthews. Lottie Matthews going wild.

By the way, you didn't know where Lottie Matthews is now. And you didn't want to know either, because the sound of her evil laugh as you spouted off the truths about the madness she and her friends were about to pull off with Travis still echoed in your messy, confused mind.

Just trying to escape Jackie and Shauna's fight, for fear of getting in the middle of it without even having a clue why, you decided that maybe you'd better get going, talk to Natalie, at least, because she wasn't affected by the "Misty's Mushrooms", had helped you confront Lottie and was not part of the forest brawler's party.

"You stay there", that voice startled you, and you turned around to face those small, dark eyes again, beyond the face that seemed to glow with the sun hitting her skin. Lottie was beautiful, yes, that was nothing new, but at that moment, she looked even more so. It was as if the wilderness had given her ethereal beauty as a gift for the follies she had decided to lead last night.

She seemed much calmer, and probably, like the others, she had already recovered from the hallucinogenic effects of the mushrooms.

"Lottie," you whispered, just trying not to remember how scared you were of her for a moment.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry if that scared you, I couldn't control it."

She knew. How could she know?

"Are you going to let me apologize for sounding like a crazy cannibal last night?", she asked, in the same tone, leaving you in a tight spot, not knowing what to answer.

You sighed.

"So you remember what I told you yesterday?"

She nodded. "Every word. And I'm sincerely sorry, (Y\N), I'm so, so sorry."

You knew you couldn't faithfully believe what she was saying. Something in her tone betrayed that she wasn't really sorry after all. And worse, something told you that she hadn't really been high last night.

Something inside you insisted it was all real. Some kind of possession.

And it wouldn't be the first time something like this had happened to Lottie. When Jackie had contrived to have a séance your first few days in the woods after the plane crash, she also had been possessed by something bad, something that wasn't quite her.

And you were there. The glass wound on her forehead? It could have caused some kind of hemorrhaging if you hadn't been there to heal it beforehand.

"Why would you guys eat Travis? Why him?"

She looked at you with a smirk, and then raised her eyebrow. The next words that came out of Lottie were unbelievable, and you wouldn't believe it if it weren't for her speaking, in front of you.

"We weren't. Who told you that bullshit?"

"Nobody. Didn't have to. I saw it with my own eyes…", you snapped, and then, the whole thing went through your head in a flash. You couldn't believe you were being so nice and genuinely caring while she was trying to trick you. "You don't remember that part then?"

"I remember everything, sweetheart. I remember everything anyway. Including how you trusted Natalie and started insulting me like I was a fucking danger to you."

Oh, Natalie. You knew Lottie adored her anyway. Except when she was around you. For some reason, your friendship with the blonde girl bothered her to an absurd degree.

"Natalie was right. And I was trying to help you," you replied, voice shut. Obviously, Lottie made a face and slowly approached you, step by step.

She didn't give the evil, sneering laugh this time, but simply grabbed your waist and pulled you so hard against her that more memories of last night flooded your mind. Memories of her words, frightening, strange, affected by whatever was happening to her there.

"The wilderness chose this, (Y\N). It wants you and me, together. It's watching us. And it knows how much I want you all to myself."

Her eyes weren't different, so it couldn't be possession, one way or another. Lottie brushed a strand of hair out of your face with one hand as she held you with the other, lightly biting her lip.

"If you really wanted to help me, you would have turned yourself in when I told you to," she breathed, whispering in your ear. "But you resisted, like the mean, pathetic little girl you are."

"Lottie, you need help. You're getting so worked up about all this, you're not making sense."

"I don't need help," she breathed into your ear again. "I need you, only you."

"Lottie, we can't…"

She laughed, softly, and then shook her head. "We can, there's no one else holding us back, we're on our own. We can do whatever we want here, and we can please the wilderness if we do the right thing, if we follow our instincts…"

You didn't have time to respond, and she wouldn't let you have time to respond either, if it was on normal days. Lottie always looked forward to being in your presence, you could feel the hard-on exploding as she looked at you, all the desire she'd always repressed so badly now written all over her face as she kissed you, taking your face in both hands.

"You have no idea how long I've been holding back to do this…", she murmured, trailing kisses lightly down your cheek, then down to your chin. "I always wanted you so much, (Y\N), but I was the perfect girl. If my parents knew, I would stop being that way, and it would be so hard to adapt to a life where I wasn't like that…"

You sighed with relief, relieved now because you knew you didn't have to voice your feelings out loud. Lottie felt the same way. Lottie knew you felt the same way. If the wilderness had really come to life somehow, if this whole wilderness thing that chooses people's fates was even real, the wilderness would tell Lottie how much you reciprocated her feelings.

Still, it wasn't one hundred percent safe for you to confess like that, all of a sudden.

"Come with me, we should go somewhere more… private…"

You laughed as she pulled away, squeezed your hand in hers, and led you back to the cabin. "Uh, Lottie, we're not in New Jersey, we don't have a motel or anything like that here, remember?"

Lottie's eyes widened, as if her domineering persona had given way to the ordinary person you better know. She cleared her throat and shrugged with a wry smile.

"Okay, so, uh… at least let me take you to the cabin?"

"With pleasure…", you whispered, still enjoying her failed attempt at looking sexy, even though in the first few moments, it worked for you.

***

She shouldn't have, and she didn't let it go. When you reached the top floor of the cabin, Lottie threw you to the ground and your back - by a divine miracle - narrowly missed hitting the ground. She crawled your body like a lioness walks to hunt carefree prey and went back to kissing you, pressing her body more and more on top of yours.

Lottie's kisses were different from the kisses you imagined she would have. Of course, she probably still wasn't in her right mind, and the way she showed her love for you at that moment was anything but wholesome and caring. And, to be honest, neither you nor your body minded that much.

Your body was about to set the whole cabin on fire with the heat it gave off, and you were about to break into a sweat when Lottie started to put her fingers under your shirt, practically pushing her face into your neck. Bites, hickeys, nibbles, sucking, she was determined to do it all, and you couldn't even complain.

"Is this satisfying you? Am I doing everything right, babe? Hm?", she whispered, after a while, panting. Her face was red, her nose was glowing like a firefly at the tip, and you could tell she looked like she was sweating too.

You nodded, and you had the faint impression that your inner desire took hold of your body for a moment as you said, "More, Lottie. I want more."

She smiled, and nodded too. "You look even hotter when you ask like that, you know? I can't believe I never got the chance to touch you and hear those words come out of your mouth…"

She continued to roam your body underneath the shirt you were wearing. Her fingers really had something unearthly about them, charged with shock and electricity, feeling like when you've been hurt and need to press ice into the warm spot of the wound to make it heal faster.

And then she finally lowered her face and wriggled her body between your legs, and if you weren't already moaning before, now you'll start hearing them loud and clear. So loud that you had to make a mental note to lower your voice. Lottie tugged down your sweatpants with enormous ease, and you tugged at her white dress, trying to reciprocate. Now you were the one apparently not making sense.

Lowering your panties slightly, Lottie introduced the first finger, and the shock in your body was immediate. You moaned even louder as she explored, attentive, seemingly oblivious to what was going on. Of course, she wasn't. She was just pretending so you wouldn't feel ashamed of giving yourself all to her at once.

"Hm… Lottie…", you called her, whispering, breathless.

"Yes, (Y\N)?"

"Just keep going…"

She laughed and continued, obeying you, introducing two, three more fingers. All of this was driving you crazy, and she was starting to lose character, moaning in satisfaction that you were responding to her touch that way.

"Fuck, Lottie…", you laughed, sighing. "Fucking hell."

"That's it. That's my good girl… all given to me."

You guys had sex for a while longer, her going slowly as you seemed to get your fill. And it was so magical, the moment you came in her arms, the moment you could breathe a sigh of relief because you were feeling fresh again.

She hugged and held you, even with the cold outside, the breeze coming in and penetrating your naked bodies, making you shiver even more - if that wasn't just Lottie's effect on your body -. Her chest rose and fell as she breathed, and you buried your flushed red face in her neck, laughing.

"Like I said, we have no way out. The wilderness chose…", she murmured. "And it's proud of us. Of you especially."

"Oh no, Lottie. I refuse to have to listen to your magical conversations and wild witchcraft with the wilderness, especially after we literally had sex on the cabin floor!"

She giggled and nodded, purring as she rubbed her face against your bare chest.

"Sorry, (Y\N), sorry. I promise not to do that again."

"Okay, I'll forgive you. It was sexy, by the way."

Her eyes widened. "Oh, really? Well, in that case, then, I guess the wilderness is kind of asking us to try again, round two maybe, what do you think, hm?"

#lgbt #romance #oneshot #imagine #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets #courtney eaton #courtney eaton x reader #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader #smut #lottie is general is hot thank you for your attention #young lottie is so hot i wish she was topping me #sorry i'm still terrible at writing smuts #hope you enjoyed it at least

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daze4all · 1 month

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Rewrite: HSR Always Remember Me- Soft!Yandere!Blade x Reader ft Dan Fengx Yingxing

Dan Feng was your past, Blade your present, and Jing Yuan your Future

One sided reader maybe ? and Former Dan Feng x Yingxing x Reader Take place either after the quintet split up after the sedition of Imbiter lunae or between joining the stelleron hunters and Abundance Xianzhou event when Blade Marastriken loses memories but regains them and goes back or just before he joins.

From Series: Dan Feng was your past, Blade your present, and Jing Yuan Your Future

A stranger had turned up broken and bleeding near your house. You had struggled to patch him up to the best of your ability and strangely he healed despite your nonexistent healing skills.

You had to be careful with him injured as he was raving and a bit mad possibly when you found him. Sick from something. Swinging his sword like a lifeline he wouldn't let go until he collapsed from blood loss. You wrapped his wounds and and set aside his clothes to repair later helping him into clean set a bit nervously looking away when you could.

He was ripped but weak. He slept unconscious for a long time until he woke

"Stay with me I don't have much but I and keep you safe while you recover," you ask as he nods having no idea where else to go.

You sometimes wonder if he imprinted on you with his obsessive fire-red eyes. Swallowing you whole with the intensity of his stare as he mimicked your daily chores once he was well enough to get up. He healed at an astounding rate for the extent of his injuries.

He stayed feeling familiarity and an odd sense of rightness for this place. Feeling safe by your appearance though he didn't know why maybe because you were weak and unarmed and healed him.

He was like a baby bird after recovery following you like a mother hen.

Intimidating like a big guard dog always with the blade he hugged close to his arms that he would not let go even during recovery though he did not seem to know why.

That's how he was named as he had to be called something not just Mr. Mute Man. But you had limited naming skills but said the first thing that came to mind seeing him "How about Blade for the sword you carry?"

Blade was an enigma and a puzzle probably best left unsolved. Why he was here? What happened exactly? is still a mystery to you and you could only take the broken body in and fix what you could to the best of your ability. Hopelessly, helplessly all over again.

At first, He didn't sleep watching you until you dropped off in exhaustion.

While you snoozed, he'd disappear haunting the house and the forge in the back. His hand lingered picking and putting down tools. An aborted half motion from instinct. until one day he followed through and you found him hammering raw metal the fires blazing in the abandoned smithy of the previous homeowner. A friend and swordsmith who had been unlucky enough to perish by the blade of a sword master forged by his own hands. However now you were not alone, not anymore with the newly named Blade by your side.

Life was domestic easier with him helping to chop wood for fires to keep you warm at night. Planting the next year's crop. Weaving the threads of a new outfit for him as his was tattered beyond repair. You trying to fix to the best of your ability the old threads.

Sometimes, at night you found your friend often had night terrors that were soothed by stroking his hair. A practice that started when he would hover watching you and following where you went like a bodyguard even when you close the door on him when going to the bathroom.

He would stand stock still his blade the one thing he had brought with him as if it was a plushie he held tight. He was waiting for you to leave so he could follow. The sight of him like a forlorn puppy in the rain or a child hugging their favorite toy causes you to reach out instinctively to comfort him. Your hand slipped through sickly blue-black strands before you knew it

"ah sorry " you drew back but he nudged your head as a dog would humming low even perhaps happily for more.

Later that night he plopped his head into your and you brushed out his hair till he slept. Marveling as the blue to red hues " You have such pretty hair. Mr. mute" you commented with thinking soft laugh tinkling from you unbidden as he furrowed brow and returned smile smile. You blushed as such a handsome man smiled back at you.

Your heart seizing at guilt and sadness for his situation.

It maybe would have continued like this never knowing the mystery man never knowing his identity but one day it all changed when he remembered his fractured memories.

He had left for quite some time coming back soaked from his fit after a changeup form the daily routine of brushing it out to pinning it up for something fun to keep his hair out of his eyes during daily chores. A sweet thoughtful gesture went wrong as he had smashe dteh mirror upon seeing it. A trail of blood dripped down from knuckles as he left the house abruptly after breaking a pin you treasured. w hen you had tucked his hair up to the side. A spin on a night-time ritual you did brushing his hair to help him fall asleep that went wrong.

Triggering some lingering PTSD for what you could not fathom.

You didn't see where he went but the rain whipped and the storm went on and the fire blazed with the boom of thunder following the forge. Pounding out his emotions on the metal as he did before.

… The next day the storm settles and he comes back drenched in raina dnsweta

He comes back quiet and solemn with something shiny in his hand, not your broken pin but a small blade.

“In place of your broken pin, a dagger for protection” Blade simply says demonstrating a few parries, lunges, and thrusts with the small sword he had gifted you. More like a dagger easy to conceal in the fold of your clothes.

Tear and eyes burn hearing his speak " You can speak now" Hoarse your voice a mournful echo

“Keep it with you always,” he said thinking of how easy it was to break into your house having done it countless times already. As well was a token in place of him for protection a poor substitute but he had an unspoken mission to pursue. An end to seek that even you couldn’t keep him from now fractured memories were trickling back to him.

"I cannot stay I might hurt you now." Always a gentle giant but fracturing now like the blade in his hand hardly in control as memory and mara seep back the effect of his memory loss lost now.

You like them so much perhaps should start calling you Blade? a past voice friendly and casual yours? echoes in his marastruck mind as he shakes it off to place the blade in your hand. Probably from when you first named him.. right?

“ Be safe” you say being the silent one now unsure what to do now your unexpected guest was leaving,

"You too “ Blade replied a man of awkward silences and few but meaningful words. Even when his voice was back.

Silence choked you from yesterday's explosive incident. You wondered nervous with trepidation maybe even hope at his next word that crushed you. You had yearned to hear his voice again for so long but the cruel words were said.

A grasp of your wrist as he draws you close in a desperate bruising kiss before you go. “Don’t forget .” Blade's eyes burned bright as flame with lost desperation. A hidden side that only softens for you and grips your heart in guilt.

A softer desperate almost inaudible whisper “Always remember for me” he repeats his grip bruising and eyes blazing almost a threat so intense and meaningful for the mara-struck man.

“Of course” you softly say taking his hand with your own to detangle yourself from him. You don’t think you could forget him you tried.

He certainly made an impact. How you could forget someone coming in the rain red dripping off their clothes and seeking shelter at your rundown house?

He spilled his life story in raving, heated mutterings, of fragmented pieces of battles. Mentioning Sinners, dragons and fighting monsters in between a terrible fever you nursed him through. You couldn’t understand the concepts beyond your comprehension, but it seemed he finally remembered.

“You, don’t forget.”

You wonder if he even remembers you or forgot that too. Someone you saved. Someone who saved you once from drowning. You could never forget though it seems he has.

He has all the time in the world and yours is ticking away…. It's the least for can do for the man who will live forever but forgets and you who remembers but will fade away like flowers.

"This I will remember." You promise sadly.

Only harsh truths would only hurt him and you. The thoughts scratch painfully at your heart and leave your mouth dry unable to speak of the too cruel reality and shatter this fantasy of togetherness. To deny him the future he was seeking.

So, you lay still by his side for one last night. A warm body beside him in a sleepless night. You stay awake as long as you can by his side. Pressed against his chest to an unbeating heart as he listens to yours ticking down a time he’ll never have again

In the morning, he turned his back to you and it is the last time you see it .

Past Dan Feng x Yinxging ft Onesided Reader

Imagine: Dan Feng gave Blade the lily Hairpin to hold up his hair and putting his hair up the same with a pin triggers blade. Hence why he wears the healer set but not the pin.

“The pin, you can keep it as a reminder of me?” The water ripples to reflect two figures by the lily pond. When his hair was white, and a lily pin was placed in it to keep his hair out of his eye when forging.

“Flowers suit you more” He harrumphed as he twisted the delicate piece the crafted lily petals caching the light in his hands. It tinged and sang in his hands as parts clicked against each other.

“It could soften your image maybe more people would approach you” teased the Soft smoothly melodic calm voice from his memories. The robed figure behind him under the pagod of the waterlily gardens in the Xianzhou.

“Or remind them of my fleeting lifespan” he huffed grumpily. What use did blacksmith have of a hair ornament nonetheless he tried clumsiy to gather his hair to the soft laugh of his cmpain

“I won’t let that happen.” The eye and voice steady assuring him fooled with

Confidence, foolish , steadiness, reckless, trust, traitor.

Lover. Liar

“Here let me help you” the pin is tucked in his hair swept but in loop on the side and takes root.

hOw doEs it lOok? Same voice but Muddled worried. Panic at the the voice distant. Pain shot through bright as the vision shattered the roots of taking hold and choking the mara setting in.

“He isn’t looking so good this might be the end…

hElp him!

Now spiderlily blooms and is replaced the white with red and the madness raises its ugly head again.

The water rippled. And the lily pond drowned him yet again then dredged him to the surface. To breathe again a life that was set to stop.

Imagine: Playing with Blade's Hair goes wrong…. & Epilogue

A simple updo from behind would make do. You thought pleased with your work as you secured the side loop with a pin so you could see Blade's handsome face and eyes once more.

“Hope do you li-" You barely managed to finish the sentence as Blade smashed the mirror as you tried to show his new do with him having recognized the old hairstyle immediately.

The next day he leaves and you wonder all the ways it went wrong. Or right?

"Always remember me …how cruel Yinxing… when you don't remember me…" you mused as you buried the remains of the broken spider lily pin beside the petals of an old waterlily flower pin in the old forge of your old friend now gone again.

This time he does not come back and you are left with the flower pin graveyard you tend.

You wondered if it was what you deserved the sin of not saying anything, and it was fate that he'd always leave for you for the waterlily.

Yearning for the past was a mistake for the future you could no longer take back.

Outtake to connect to Dusk til Dawn Marastruck fic. Reader x JingYuan (Future) Shadow Member of the Quintet! Reader

Sorry "you cried later in the snowy white haired general arms. Reminiscent of what Blade once had.

"I couldn't keep him here"

"You cannot have it all" he stated practically to soothing you as you did Blade a hand stroking your hair.

"How about this, I have another task for you. We still have baby Bailu to look after… She won't run away as easily" he said sadly trying his best to cheer you up as you cried.

Your first love… and what's worse you had enjoyed what was lost in a domestic dream a silly childish fantasy that you had abandoned once you heard he loved another.

It hurt all the more when you heard from his lips who it was. But you bit your tongue and respected his wishes. To be the respectable, distant, and elegant paragon of vidyhyrdra virtue as expected to be as the sister of Dan Feng the high elder.

It hollowed you out even more so when both Blade and your brother were truly lost to you after the event that split the quintet. Now they and Jing liu had both had left for the wider world both unknowing of any past affections you had all shared for each other as confidants, friend,ss, and the quintet.

Truly you and Jing Yuan were all that was left along with poor baby Bailu, set to inherit the heavy burden of high elder.

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meshlasolus · 6 months

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Tw: suicidal thoughts (don't be alarmed I'm just venting)

I am so tired. I am so worn out. It doesn't matter what I say. It doesn't matter what I do. I have been financially and physically giving to Palestinians and Israelis who have been injured and were innocent victims through this war. The organization my family and I are working with has done so much to try and save lives. I have done all I can possibly do, but it's not enough. Those of you who drop in my dms or my asks to call me a 'genocidal colonizer' are so truly lost. I hope you all get help, because the amount of hate I've seen against not only myself but against literally every Jew I know is absolutely abominable. Don't say 'from the river from the sea' unless you know what it means, and if you say it, don't say it to a jew. You may hate Israel, and you may even think that all the people there deserve to die, but have you ever taken into consideration that the innocent Jews of either Israel or the rest of the world have nothing to do with their government or the mistreatment of Palestinians? Did you ever once think before you commented on a Jews post to 'wipe Israel off the face of the earth'? Chances are you did not. Chances are also that if you did, you probably just hate jews. Don't comment any bullshit on this post, I'll just remove it. I'm not here to fight anymore, I'm just here to say a few words, and give a perspective to those who think I'm some devil worshipping satanist just because I'm jewish.

These are the asks in my inbox on the daily:

Do you have any idea how this mentally affects a person? Do you even know how horrifying it is to know that so many people want you dead? I've had run ins with depression and suicidal attempts and thoughts my entire life, but never have I been this influenced by outer forces into thinking that I should be dead. Never once has anyone encouraged me to pull a trigger or off myself. Not until this has happened.

The comments and reblogs on posts about my best friend who lived in Israel, and her mother (who is arab, btw) that was killed in the October 7th attack are beyond wild. I can't even imagine how crazy it must be to live in the middle east as a jew. This is only a fraction of the hate that I experience in my day to day life, now.

The middle fingers I get from pissed off passersby at Walmart because I wear a star of david, or the slurs I get called because I told someone I had to leave an event early for Shabbat. It's all hatred, and it all sucks.

The violence, and the aggression that innocent jews are getting from random people who hate them. The little old man who stood on a street corner and held a sign in protest of Jewish hate that was killed today by a pro-hamas protestor. Its all too overwhelming. Why? Because even if you choose not to see it, or even if you condone it and think its 'not that bad', Jewish hate is getting dangerously close to what it was during the time of the holocaust. What's worse? It's being praised. Not just accepted, but encouraged. I posted on my instagram asking for prayers over my friend who's having to hide in a bomb shelter because of the war. The amount of comments saying 'just let her die' were astounding.

I have to ask you, where is your humanity? When jews can not only feel compassion but openly support Palestinians and try and give their services to save their innocent women and children from dying in the war, where is your compassion for innocent jews? Where is your willingness to feel an ounce of sadness for the loss of a life? Are you so hateful that you will condemn a teenage girl to die because of the violence her government commits? And if it happens, will you be so heartless that you will praise the notion that she is dead?

A common phrase used when I ask pro-hamas bloggers what their stance is on the beheading of children or the raping of women is, it usually comes out as: "well what do you think declonization looked like?"

I am always shocked. Every. Single. Time... why? Because I hope with every shred of naivete i have in me that people who have lost so much will understand the pain of those who are also losing so much. When you condemn one government for killing your children, and bringing a genocide upon Palestinians, why do you not also condemn the murdering of children and innocent Jews? Is it because 'that's not your team?' Is it because you want to win so badly that you don't care what the cost is? Do you think that turning into the thing that killed your people will make you a hero? The only thing I can possibly think of that would make a person respond that way is bloodlust. When you condemn an entire nation (including the innocent people) of killing your own, then turn around and do the same thing to their innocents, do you think you've proved something?

Whenever I address these things I'm usually met with the same stuff about how I'm a Jew so I'm biased and I don't get to have an opinion... but I don't think it's fair to say that to someone who's literally living with the repercussions that your hate is causing. Don't tell me to be quiet if you're spreading nazi rhetoric about jews and telling people to kill us.

Again, don't bring any bullshit on here. It will be deleted, and you will be blocked. I've spoken my piece. If anyone is interested in learning more about the organization I work with and donating to help Palestinian and Israeli families getting caught in the crossfire, please drop me a message, I'd be glad to give you more information.

#israel #palestine #fuck hamas #antisemitism #stop jewish hate

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gayoung-lover · 3 months

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baby, you drive me crazy ๋࣭⭑ chocol

your relationship with gayoung is a secret, given that she happened to be your best friend's ex-girlfriend—sometimes, something that's wrong feels better, doesn't it?

| cw: suggestive, reader is a bad friend LOL | wc: 1.5 k 🫶 | things in italics are flashbacks!! | also, this is inspired by 'que onda' by fuerza regida, i don't like corridos, but the lyrics are sooooo good 😭

Adrenaline coursed through your veins every time you went on a date with Gayoung—a forbidden thrill. Bada trusted you, and you, in return, exploited it. She was well aware of Gayoung's feelings for you, pleading with you—her best friend—not to get involved with her. Despite her pleas, there you were, seated in her black luxury car, on the way to her apartment.

Bada was consistently curious about the mysterious girl featured in your Instagram stories. You shared photos where only her hands were visible or showing the expensive gifts she got you—however, there was a noticeable absence of her face or any identifiable details. Each time Bada asked, you only said you wanted to keep it a secret, fueling her suspicions that you might be involved with someone with a girlfriend or, worse, married. Despite her attempts to discuss it with you, you only insisted that this girl preferred a private life.

She wanted to taste me—so I satisfied her craving.

Initially, Gayoung was upfront about her desire—a one-night stand. She confessed through a simple text message that whenever she went to your and Bada's apartment, she only thought of you—craving to kiss, touch, and hold you. Drawn to her attractiveness, you complied.

gayoung: I know this might be weird and you might hate me or whatever because I broke up with Bada, but I wanted to be honest about something. [1:03 a.m]

y/n: huh? what? [1:05 a.m]

gayoung: Every time I went to Bada's place, I couldn't take my eyes off you.

gayoung: You're such a gorgeous girl, you're like a pretty doll.

gayoung: And fuckkk… I just wanted to kiss your pretty lips so badly, to wrap my arms around you, to make you feel good. [1:07 a.m]

y/n: are you drunk? or are you actually being honest? [1:08 a.m]

gayoung: Might be a bit drunk but, do you want me to prove it, princess? [1:08 a.m]

y/n: gayoung don't call me princess fuckk

y/n: this feels so wrong… bada's going to hate me

y/n but, how can you prove it? [1:09 a.m]

However, what started as just a one-time thing transformed into something monthly, then a weekly occurrence, and eventually, a daily routine. The dynamics shifted beyond physical intimacy; it evolved into something deeper. Now, you spend more time with her than in your apartment, and the relationship has transcended the purely sexual—both of you already have said, 'I love you.'

How about we both turn off our phones at night?

Bada's constant concern for your well-being led her to suggest downloading an app that allows you to share your locations. While this was a safety measure, it suddenly became inconvenient for you, especially when you were at Gayoung's apartment. Initially, you tried turning off your location or even your phone, but Bada quickly received notifications about it, prompting questions you did not want to answer.

bada <3: why is your location off?

bada <3: is everything okay?

bada <3: do you need something? [11:43 p.m]

y/n: my battery is dying and if i turn off my location it lasts longer

y/n: i’m still at the club, dw bada :) [11:45 p.m]

However, you devised a workaround by turning off your mobile data. This move guaranteed that your location remained fixed at the last place you connected to the internet. So, when you were at a restaurant or a bar on your way to Gayoung's place, turning off your data made it appear as if you were somewhere else if Bada happened to check.

Do your make-up again, so she doesn't find out what we did.

Gayoung stocked her apartment with everything you could need for touch-ups—makeup, hair products, and perfume. That way, you could maintain an impeccable appearance when you went to your apartment, concealing any signs that you did something with someone. Despite you insisting on bringing your own makeup, Gayoung insisted on spoiling you.

"Baby, go ahead and choose whatever you like." Gayoung smiled at you as you walked through the makeup store. "Anything, okay?" She emphasized.

"But, the stuff I like tends to be expensive." You casually grabbed a liquid lipstick and a face powder from the display. "This should do; I just need to touch up my lipstick and powder."

You placed them in the basket, and Gayoung let out a sigh. "I said, pick whatever you want. Price doesn't matter."

Surprised, you looked at her and hesitated. "I don't want you spending a fortune on me-"

She cut you off, raising an eyebrow. "Princess, grab whatever you want. Let me spoil you."

Baby, delete those photos that we took yesterday.

You and Gayoung always took photos together—where you could clearly see who she was, although these photos never made it to any social media posts. You were her muse, her precious girl, and whether it was at the club, having dinner, or at her apartment, she could not resist taking pictures of you. At times, these photos would be too risqué—like right now.

"That's perfect, doll." Gayoung murmured as you struck a pose, reclining on her bed. "Fuck, you're stunning, you know that?"

"I'm aware." You smiled at Gayoung's camera. "You're the one who makes me feel pretty."

Shifting positions, you rested your stomach on her bed, tilting your head slightly while adjusting your hair. "I'm glad I'm the only one who gets to see you like this." She said—her voice low and husky.

Your eyes, your skin.

Unable to resist any longer, Gayoung approached you, gently cupping your face as you sat on the bed, and she stood up. With doe-like eyes, you gazed up at her—the innocence reflected in them driving Gayoung wild. She kissed your forehead, her lips lingering there for a few seconds.

"Do you know how much I love you?" Gayoung's forehead now rested against yours.

"I do." You replied. "I love you too, Gayoung."

"But not as much as I do." She lowered her face, bringing her lips close to your ear, her breath brushing against your skin. "I love everything about you. I don't even know why I was with Bada when I could have been with you from the start, doll." She chuckled dryly.

While another best friend might have killed her for saying those words, you blushed hearing Gayoung say them. "Oh, really? Tell me what you love about me."

Turning her head to the left, she kissed your cheek. "Your eyes, your skin, your personality, your beautiful body." Gayoung listed. Lifting her face, she looked down at you, placing her thumb over your lips, prompting them to part. "But your lips are my favorite thing about you."

Drawing closer, your lips brushed against each other—you smiled against her lips. "Gayoung-"

She silenced you by pressing her lips against yours, your hands instinctively locking behind her neck, pulling her even closer to your body.

What’s going on?

While you and Gayoung kissed, your phone incessantly rang, prompting a frustrated sigh against her lips. "What the fuck? Who's calling me?" You rolled your eyes.

Gayoung patted your back. "What if it's something important, doll?"

"Yeah, you're right." You admitted, reaching for your phone only to discover 15+ missed calls from Bada. "It's Bada."

She raised her eyebrows. "What does she want?"

You called her back, concerned that it might be an emergency, but she did not answer. "She won't pick up, fuck..." You muttered.

"Do you want to go back to your apartment?" Gayoung asked, holding your hand trying to calm you.

Attempting to call Bada once more, you nodded. "Yes." You whispered, but just as you were about to get up from the bed, your phone vibrated with a text from Bada.

Answer her messages, tell her what's up.

bada <3: what the fuck is this y/n

bada <3: bada <3 sent a photo [10:56 p.m]

Attached to the message was a screenshot of your exact location, and it dawned on you that you had forgotten to turn off your mobile data. The undeniable realization that you fucked up hit you—you showed your phone to Gayoung, who responded with a crooked smile, chuckling at the situation.

“I guess one day she had to find out.” She said and you nodded.

bada <3: all this time you had been dating the person “who liked living their life privately” you’ve been fucking my ex?

bada <3: i can’t believe i trusted you wtf, i don’t want your shit in the apartment, come pick it up tomorrow when i’m not around

bada <3: hope you have fun ig don’t even think about apologizing or anything i fucking hate you [10:59 p.m]

Gayoung took your phone from your hands, opening the option to send a video. "Come here, princess."

Your eyes widened in surprise, but you followed her instructions, moving closer even though she was recording. Holding the phone just right to capture you kissing, Gayoung separated, smirking at the camera before sending the video to Bada.

"That should tell her what's up." She said, winking at you.

#jo gayoung #chocol #chocol swf2 #chocol x reader #wlw #street woman fighter 2

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thewritersaddictions · 1 year

Text

The Adults: Steddie- Innocence

Pairing: Steddie x Fem!Reader

Pov: Reader

Warning: Smut, 18+, V&A, Steve and Eddie at the same time, Perv!Eddie, Sub!Steve

Summary: Never crossed this line until tonight.

WC- 3.3k

A/n: firefly-graphics for dividers

Stranger Things Master List // The Adults Master List

Everything was always so innocent with you guys never stepping over imaginary boundaries, going beyond the playful, calm, and uninvolved nature you had created between the three of you.

With Steve's parents almost always gone, the three of us always spent our time together at Steve's abode. Not that he ever really had offered it up it had just become the main hangout between the kids and even us adults over the past few years. Like I said everything was always so innocent and playful between us, so you’d think that something would have happened. Since the boys flirted with me and each other on a daily, we never crossed that line.

Now, this was of course until one drunken, parentless night at Steve's house. The pool lights were on, and they gave off a dime and scary glow for the rest of the night. When Eddie and I arrived Steve practically shoved beers into our hands, knowing full well we probably weren’t leaving till the next morning if not the afternoon.

It almost always starts off the same way.

Steves the one cranking music loud, and dancing around. Flopping hair all over the place and Eddie watching him. Steve hadn’t yet grasped the ideas of Eddie's music but he was falling in love with the words. From there the drinks spilled on the small coffee table in the living room, as bottles clinked together because Steve was insistent that the living room was to be the new dance floor. Dragging Eds to the makeshift floor.

“Harrington, you know I don’t” Eddie would try to reason, but even then, in Eddie's frustration, there was nothing that the drunken Steve couldn’t do that make Eddie shut the hell up. A kiss, a liquor-filled chaste kiss to Eds' lips as I watched the two interact. Eddie knew better than to argue with the drunk, sappy big boy that Steve was turning into. Arms would swing around Eddie's shoulders and keep him from escaping as he would even try that. Even with Steevie being taller than Munson, it didn’t matter it had only made him even cuter.

Whatever Eddie and Steve were I feel as though they were only like this with people they completely felt comfortable around. The two of them swayed together, and Steve stayed extra close. His arms wrapped around Eddie's neck, gradually pulling him closer. "Stevie, will you be okay for a second so I can grab another drink?" Eddie said loudly enough so that I was fully aware of my job for a few seconds.

"Eddie!" Whined Steve. "I don't want you to go," Steve said. "How about I get Y/n here to replace myself just for a moment?" Eddie said. "I guess," Steve said sadly. I got up, put down my beer and slipped in front of Eddie, and took the heavy limp Steve. When Eddie let him go he landed hard in my arms and didn't give up until he had secured himself around me. Instead of his arms wrapped around my neck as he had done with Eddie. Steve's hands were secured around my hips, pulling me in closer.

Whispering to me "Did you believe the act because Eddie sure does." I hummed "Steve?" I questioned, "I'm quite sober, and Eddie just does love to baby me." Steve said as his hands fell down my hips, squeezing at the fat of my ass. "Steve!" I yelled, and with that Eddie walked in and the weight of Steve came right back.

"Stevie, are you being mean to our dearie Y/n?" Eddie said putting down his drink and closing me in between the two of them. "Eddie?" I questioned. "Yes, dearie?" "What are you doing?" I asked as Steve pulled me ever so closer to his warm body. "Do you wanna find out? Or would you rather I tell you?" Eddie asked. I didn't have time to ponder my answer as Eddie went on to explain.

"You see our Stevie here as a tell, a tell for when he's happy, a tell for when he's angry, and a tell for when he's actually drunk, and faking being drunk," Eddie said. "Well, at least he tried tonight huh?" Eddie said but it was less to me and more in the direction of Steve. Who was still pressing himself closer to me. I was nearly boxed in between the two boys. One who reminded me of Christmas morning, and the other who reminded me of the dark night of Halloween. "Go ahead sweetheart I know you wanna kiss him," Eddie whispered into my ear, the heat of his breath causing a deep ripple effect in my whole body.

"Can I kiss you, Steve?" I asked ever so quietly before I felt Steve's lips crash down into the mine. All teeth and tongue from Steve as from behind me the slight nibbling of my skin was felt by Eddie. The overstimulation had started and it wasn't stopping anytime soon. "Yes," Steve said after he pulled away. I was out of breath and nearly drowning in the sensation each boy was leaving behind. Like fingerprints at a crime scene, I had a feeling, I wasn't leaving this without their handprints all over me.

Somehow we ended up undressing each between making out with each other. Tongues deep in each other throats, and just when I thought things couldn't and wouldn't get any better. I was told to strip down, sit on the couch and watch the two boys in front of me without touching myself.

Steve dragged his hand through Eddie's locks, and the tangled managed to snag at every chance. Eddie didn't mind though his masochistic side was showing ever bright that summer night. "Sweetheart I want you to spread your legs as wide as you can get them," Eddie commanded and with the drunken state, I was in from the view or the beer I wasn't sure. I followed his instruction, the cold a/c air that pumped through the house felt like a slap to my pussy as I spread my legs for the both of them.

"See look, Stevie," Eddie said momentarily stopping his tongue that was deep-throating the other boy. Steve's eyes were heavy and they almost walked over to me all by themselves. "NO Stevie, no touching right now keep your hands on me, her pussy is getting wetter by the second as we sit here gripping at each other." Eddie said dragging the small attention that Steve had back to him, now Eddie's hands were deep in Steve's short thick hair "Eds fuck.." Steve whimpered as Eddie's grip became harder around the delicate hairs. Steve falls right back into the kiss with Eddie. Hand touching, traveling, trying to get at every part of the body they could.

Eddie released the poor boy's hair and let his fingers travel down, taking clothing with it down to the only thing that was left was a pair of dark blue boxers. Eddie's fingers just grazed over the wet spot on his boxers. Steve couldn't help but buck into the sensation and by every second it was getting harder and harder to not touch and grab at my own body. The skin that was attached to the leather couch was burning, and partially sweating even the a/c couldn't fix that situation. The begging mess that Steve was becoming the more Eddie teased at his bludging cock from within his boxers. The more I whimpered at the feeling of being all alone, not that I didn't love the show I just wanted to be a part of it desperately.

"Aww is someone upset they aren't a part of this romantic moment?" Eddie said clearly teasing me. "Eddie, please," I begged, my hands still planted next to each thigh on the leather couch. "Hmm, I don't know Stevie is that enough begging for you?" Eddie asked the whimpering mess of a boy in front of him, knowing the only answer he'd get out of Steve would be in agreement with whatever Eddie said.

Over the antics of watching the two, I sat myself up crawling down from the couch and on my hands and knees. Crawling towards the two men, I sat back on my knees and ankles. "I thought I told yo..." Eddie said cutting himself short. "I have a better plan Steive dear." He said matter of factly. Like everyone else had just had the same idea as he. "Do you wanna use Y/n's throat?" Eddie said, a whimpering escaping from the both of us as we both looked up at Eddie. "A desperate bunch the two of you are!" Eddie said teasing finally releasing Steve from the grip he had around the back of his cock.

Back between the two men. One's hand was raking though my hair while the other looks like he's on the verge of exploding right there in front of the two of us. But something changed a look maybe from Eddie to Steve that had everything in shambles in only a matter of a few seconds. Or maybe it was the longing way that Steve was looking at Eddie's belt from across the room. Steve reached his hand out to me and I took it getting off my knees, feeling the cool air that now settled in on a different spot on my body.

Steve's outreached hand was warm, soft as he caressed the top of my hand with his thumb. "Can we try something love?" He asked, ever the polite boy. Eddie slipped away moving around the room. "What are you two thinking?" I asked, looking at the both of the smiling boys. Steve rosey cheeks were still there and Eddies hair was still an utter mess from Steve pulling and yanking from before.

"We wanna see if you.." Steve tired to say, "We wanna see if can take the both of us." Eddie said. His comment was crude, but sexy, inviting me into a whole new bunch of fantasies. I had only had dreams about being stretched out by the boys all at the same time. Steve driving himself deeper into my cunt, while Eddie teased at my hole. With every fantasy came the same thing. The knowing and the doubt that said fantasy would ever have the chance of coming true.

I guess you get it wrong sometimes. You can almost bet on getting it wrong when these two boys are involved.

Within a few seconds the living room had cleared and a tall dark browned hair man stood tall behind me. "Are you okay with this?" Steve questioned again. How could you possible ever say no to these two, and why would you say no to the two of these boys? I guess I had no other choice then to say yes and see where the ride was taking me.

I shook my head but it wasn't enough for Eddie. "Words sweetheart." Arms crossed a stern expression crossing his rather soft features. "Yes I'm okay with this sir." I said reliazing my words I tired to take them back but Steve's grip on me tighten and Eddie's eyes darkend under me. "What a good girl already." Eddie commented coming to gather himself on the floor. I had yet to get a good chance to enjoy looking at the two men in front of me.

Steve wasn't as tall as Eddie but the flowing hair, hard-lines features,and bulging cock in the tight dark blue boxers was a good place to start anyways. Now I'm not saying I'd never seen Eddie naked was a lie. We'd come over many a times for hang out's by the pool, and the upside down was another time. But there was something different about seeing his features under the dim lights in his living. A sculpted six-pack, a little muscle sitting nicely everywhere it gathered. Tanned skin and a perfect dipping v-line that fell right into his boxers.

Eddie on the other hand was the answer to all of my darkest dreams. A man that when he finally did strip down, and I mean stripped all the way down. He was the definition of perfect. Long dark hair that was currently being kept away from his face in a low bun, soft features a cute button nose, and a cock that was beading with excitement. Not such a string outline of a six-pack, but muscle that sat in just the right placed making his bad boy look even more believable. That porevelan skin, so white that I swear if Eddie didn't talk or move I'd think he was truly a doll.

I guess my looking and gazing had gathered some attention from each boy. "Earth to Y/n?" I heard one of them say as I continued my undeniable looking. "Hmm." "I asked you a question." Eddie said, "But seeing as your very busy taking us in I'll just choose for you." "What, What are you choosing for me Eds?" I asked. A tsk was giving and Eddies pointer finger beckoned me to come closer his naked body.

"Since you were so enamored by our bodies. You don't get to know what I asked. Now Come here, I want you to sit in my lap like a good girl." Eddie said, "Stevie do me a favor baby boy." Like a dog almost Steve's ear perked up after hearing the words 'baby boy'. "I want you to sit right between my legs." Steve did as he was told and got on his knees. Eddie had wrapped an arm around my body and his fingers left cold patches along my hot skin. "You wanna let Stevie boy have a good look at your pussy baby?" He asked, I managed to get a halfway hum out before I was settled with my nack against Eddie's chest his cock sitting in between us.

Steves eyes lite up, like the moment he saw my soaking pussy he'd gone to heaven and died. "God you're soaking" He said dragging two fingers over my clit, and into the slick that covered my inner thighs. Pleading eyes came towards me from the man that was kneeling between my thighs. If anything I wished he hadn't asked me and just went ahead. I agree regardless though.

His fingers taking there time as he glided them between the soaking folds. I tired not to buck into his ministration, but it was nearly impossible. With the way Eddie was holding me back in a tight grip and with Steves other hand holding tight onto my thigh. Finally I felt the hot breath and a kitten lick come to my pussy. I leaned into it, pushing into Eddies cold body.

As Steve continued to play with my clit with his warm and wet tongue. "Stevie... please don't don't stop." I mumbled on. I could feel and hear Eddie chuckle from behind me. With my praise Steve he continued his month suck on my pussy. "If you keep that up He'll never let you go sweetheart Eddie said. His hand coming up to grope at my breasts, his fingers twisting my nipple. I couldn't help but moan and buck. I was so oversesitive that I didn't have to the time to tell Steve that he had me coming over the edge.

Everything went blank, and when I finally come back too, Eddie and steve were pampering me with kisses, and light touches. "Ah, she comes to finally." Steve said grazing his lips over mine. "Stevie, Eds.." I whined, my legs still held out wide by the both of them.

"Aw you sweet baby, we have one more thing in store for you." Eddie said, lifting me gently. "Can you stay still on your hand and knees baby?" He questioned I hum, but receive a light slap to my ass. "You've got to use your words." "Yes, sir." I answer, leaning down onto my plans and wondering where this is all going. Thats when I felt it, the tip of his cock proding at the wetness between my thighs. Then it happened, his cock teasing at my hole all while Steve gave my little kisses. "Fuck Y/n, so tight." Eddie said through grunted teeth. I couldn't help but moan into a kiss with Steve.

All of the sudden I was being picked up and brought into Eddies lap. His cock settling in a new a different way, one that brought out a great and grand moan. If anybody else was here in Steve's house they'd think that we were filming a x-rated porn video. Then it came again when I rocked forward on Eddie's cock.

A line never crossed was becoming a blurry line as the minutes passed.

Then it happened Steve sunk himself deep into my pussy. His cock disappearing into me, and reappearing as he pulled out teasing my clit. "Fuck, god I can feel the both of you." I mumbled out my words starting to come together in my head. Sliding out of you at opposite times Eddie thrusts into you with a grand force, and then Steve. His thrusts cause me to babble on. Cursing, and telling the two boys just how much I love them, and their cocks.

Deep and hard thrusts coming from each boy, as they take turns playing with my clit. Each boy had his own way of playing with me, one was hard and fast paced. The other was gentle, and meaningfully with every touch. As I got pushed into by each boy I reliazed just how close I was to each of them. Steve grunting and Eddie soft moans stayed close in my ears.

It became hotter then before, the sounds of sloppy kisses and hot breathe. I couldn't help but squeeze around Steve cock as the two of them continued to make out just inches away from my ear. It wasn't just a private show for me, but something else and I didn't know to explain it.

"I think she likes it Eds." Steve said finally the two parting lips. "She squeezed me so tight." Steve comments as his thrusts speed up. Eddie chuckles and pressed a wet kiss behind my ear. "How close are you?" He whispers to me but I can't manage to answer as Eddie start to play with my clit. "Hmmm, Eds." I'm struggling to keep my body still even with the two heavy men. "Squirming is always a good sign baby." Steve says has this trusts start to become flatted, and then before I can take in his face Steve is grunting and moaning out his grip on my legs are worthy of leaving brusies behind, and Eddie isn't far behind his heavy grunts mixed with low moans. I can't hold on as steve slow his thursts down, and Eddie picks up with both his thrusts and his fingers that are playing with my clit.

Eddie and I came together, as mess all together. Eddie, Steve, and I. Nothing was better then that feeling. I stayed in that euphoric state. Not bothering to come out of it for either boy. "Y/n?" My name was asked in what felt like the distance. "Sweetheart?" Another, "You okay?" I got asked. I hummed and whined when I felt the absence of each boy.

"There you are sweetheart." Eddie said, grabbing his t-shirt to gently wipe away the mess we'd made together. I stayed there limp. Just eno=joying the feeling of being taken care of. "You did so well baby." Steve said as he brushed down my matte hair. I hummed and moved into the touch.

That line we never crossed had been crossed and let me be honest I didn't mind it one bit, that we had crossed it I mean. I'd do it all over again just to have myself between Eddie and Steve.

Posted on: 11/10/22

Completed on: 11/09/22

The adults-

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bonny-kookoo · 11 months

Note

the mc sunbathing while yoongi works. ahhh ~~ yoongi i'm gonna steal her from you

"Hey, Detective?" You wonder from your spot close to him on the rooftop where you're bathing in the golden afternoon sun. He's allowed you to have this moment for once, though under the condition that he's to stay watch in case anything happens.

He hums a reply, but doesn't turn towards you as he observes the town down below going about their daily routine.

"Say, if I wasn't.. a super important witness thingy, would you screw me? As in like, have sex with me?" You ask out of the blue, and though the question catches him off guard, he doesn't let it show too much on the outside.

"It depends. Mainly on if we would've met without the reason we've had this time." He offers after a moment, leaning back on his hands as he gets into a more comfortable position. "If we did, I believe it could've led to something developing over time. Though only if my career and stigma were different, I guess." He shrugs, still watching the people go about their day down below.

"Huh." You simply answer, not having expected such an.. honest answer. But somehow you should've expected it. Detective Min is a pretty honest guy after all.

"You sound surprised." He chuckles, looking to the side to catch your gaze, body still lying on your back as the sun warms up your skin.

"Thats 'cause I am." You say, tail swishing over the dirty concrete below. He'll remind you to wipe it clean later, something he's been doing for some time now. He's not sure why you're not really grooming yourself that much if at all- despite regular showers and washing your hands, he's barely ever caught you do anything a cat hybrid might do, like keeping their hybrid features clean, brushing out old fur off of your tail, nothing.

You don't seem to care about it. And he himself isn't sure why he's been developing this urge to do it for you instead.

"How so?" He wonders. "Do you think I don't find you attractive?" He boldly asks, and you roll over onto your stomach, chin resting on your forearms.

"Kinda." You shrug, a tiny twig caught in your tail catching his attention. "I mean- you probably think of me as more of a nuisance than anything else." You say, and he moves to pull the bothering twig out of your tail.

"I used to." The detective answers honestly. "But not anymore. Maybe I've just gotten used to it, or maybe I just got to know you beyond your defensive attitude." He mumbles.

"I'm not defensive!" You hiss with no bite, blushing immediately as you realize you've just proven his point. "Okay maybe a little." You admit, rolling onto your side to play with a small string on the hem of his pant leg. "But.. You're pretty cool too. If you push the old-guy-behavior and whole cop-thing aside." You snicker, and he clicks his tongue at that, crossing his arms.

"Alright, get back inside now you nuisance." He orders, getting up just to hear you laugh, running past him down the stairs into his home.

And somehow, he's happy about it.

Happy you're there.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #yoongi imagine #hybrid imagine #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi imagine #min yoongi imagines #yoongi imagines

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traumacatholic · 1 month

Note

I recently got engaged to the love of my life. We are both still very young, but currently there is a possibility they may have cancer. we cannot currently make an appointment with the hospital because its the weekend, and moreover if we can get an appointment it may be months away. Im terrified beyond belief. My fiancé even more so.

I truly do not know what to do. I'm someone who has been blessed in life in that I have never lost someone close to me. My fiancé pulled me out of the worst time in my life when I met them. My connection to God has never been strong despite my family being catholic. I don't even really know how to pray. We have so many plans for the future, to be married and raise a family together. To try and put a little good back into the world. To grow old together.

I am at a loss. Any prayer you can offer would mean so much to me. I would do anything for my fiancé, and though it feels wrong to come back to my faith because something horrible is happening and not for simply wanting to I only hope God can forgive me for it and protect my Love.

Of course, I will keep you both in my prayers. Never feel like you're turning to your faith for the 'wrong' reason, because this can put you off really engaging and connecting with your faith and using it as a pillar and a support network. Please reach out to a Church, even if you aren't currently attending one. And asking for prayers and for help from the Priest. Even if you did turn to faith for the 'wrong' reason, ultimately by spending time in prayer, spending time reading Scripture, spending time going to Church - whatever things you might be doing. Should hopefully lead to you sincerely connecting with your faith in a way that perhaps feels more meaningful to you. A genuine engagement with the faith. It is better to turn to God in times of desperate situations, than to never turn to Him at all. God never tires of us turning to Him for help.

People turn to the faith in different ways, in many different situations. We should never treat the individual turning to God as 'this is the right reason', 'this is the wrong reason'. Anything that could lead to someone genuinely increasing their faith, no matter how slim that possibility may be, should be encouraged. How many cultural Catholics still turn to St Anthony for help finding a lost item? Or a Hail Mary when they're in the hospital waiting room? As the old saying goes 'there's no atheist in the trenches'. And regardless of how 'silly' or 'insincere' or whatever else term we might use that turn to faith might be, God will use it as an opportunity for you to develop or redevelop that relationship with Him. Our entire life is a conversion process. We are always, every single day, choosing to convert to God through repentance or choosing to slip away from Him. Hoping in God, hoping in His power and His mercy and His comfort isn't a bad thing.

In terms of prayers, if you are feeling up for it. There is an Akathist to the Theotokos for healing - particularly for healing from cancer. I know you don't have a confirmed diagnosis, but please don't feel like you have to wait until then to pray this. You can pray it now. This is a long prayer. It is designed to be read all the way through. Don't worry about the names of Troparion or Kontakion, that's meant for people that are chanting the Akathist. http://www.stvladimiraami.org/sheetmusic/akathistvsetsaritsa.pdf Has the beginning prayers, as well as the full akathist. Generally, the first couple of times reading through an Akathist can make it take a long time. But I found through the Akathist that I prayed daily, that eventually it takes a lot less time because you know the prayer well enough. Don't feel like you have to read this every day. Traditionally, Akathists can be said once a day for a 40 day period. You don't have to do it for that long, just as and when it feels feasible. It does also have three prayers at the bottom. If you're ever not feeling up for praying the Akathist, feel free to pray those individually.

I have attached some much shorter prayers under the read more. Feel free to mix and match between them. I would recommend having at least one prayer, that you pray morning and night. If you can, I would also recommend reading a Psalm a day.

Dear Lord, as my loved ones and I await the results of medical tests about my affliction, let us offer you our anxieties for our good and your glory. Calm us in our worries, knowing these don’t add wisdom but rather stress to this situation. Enlighten us, though the power of your Spirit, to make wise decisions as to treatment. Help us not to turn away from You in these fragile, painful moments, but rather towards you for grace and strength. Comfort us in seeking you now as we place all our concerns in your loving hands as we say “Thy Will Be Done.”

Mary, health of the sick, you brought forth into our world Jesus Christ, our Divine Healer. In your caring goodness, intercede for (mention name), who is truly in need of miraculous assistance.

If it be God’s will, I ask this day that the gift of healing from all forms of cancer be granted to (name).

Comfort him/her during times of anguish, pain, confusion and despair. Ask our gracious Savior to grant him/her physical health, inner peace and patience in suffering.

May God’s healing graces grant (name) a life of happiness, health and fulfillment here on earth, and one day the joy of eternal glory in His loving embrace.

Amen.

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Lord Almighty, the Healer of our souls and bodies, You Who put down and raise up, Who chastise and heal also; do You now, in Your great mercy, visit our brother (sister) (Name), who is sick. Stretch forth Your hand that is full of healing and health, and get him (her) up from his (her) bed, and cure him (her) of his (her) illness. Put away from him (her) the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which he (she) is bound; and if he (she) has sins and transgressions, grant to him (her) remission and forgiveness, in that You love mankind; yea, Lord my God, pity Your creation, through the compassions of Your Only-Begotten Son, together with Your All-Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, with Whom You are blessed, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.

O Lord our God, Who by word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter, You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness; Who are able to put aside every malady and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to this Your servant (Name) and cure him (her) of every sickness of which he (she) is grieved; lift him (her) up from his (her) bed of pain and distress, and send down upon him (her) Your great mercy, and if it be Your Will, give to him (her) health and a complete recovery; for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to Father, and to Son, and to Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people.

Look down upon ____________and have mercy on them and deliver them from the trouble that now besets them.

Deal with ____________ not according to their iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses.

I pray to you to grant ____________ Your divine helping grace, and endow them with patience and strength to endure their hardships with complete submission to Your Will.

Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, we flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver ____________ from this trouble, and turn their distress into comfort.

We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages. Amen

[Feel free to pray this one for yourself, and to edit it to be a prayer for your fiancé. From my understanding, when we are praying for someone else, we omit any references to them being a sinner. So you would edit it to 'Be merciful to him/her, O Master. Take from them the heavy burden of despair.']

O Greatly-merciful Master, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and cleanse me from every sadness and disturbance and cowardice. Drive away from me every spiritual choking and demonic sorrow, that I sense in my body and my soul. For You are our Joy, and the Hope of all the ends of the earth, and those far off at sea. Be merciful to me, O Master, upon my sins. Take from me the heavy burden of sin and despair. Drive far away from me every sadness and laziness. Confirm me in Your Love, and with unassailable hope and unshakable faith in You, through the intercessions of Your Spotless Mother, and all Your Saints. Amen.

[I would recommend this one for yourself]

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen

#prayer #prayer request #prayer req #urgent prayer request

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onekonii · 8 months

Text

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔡 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔫 [2nd part]: Where the melody is lost, another is reborn

Note:

Thank you very much to those who have waited for this ugly thing, my mind is not good at doing these things so sorry if it took me almost 2 years to bring this, but I had SO many personal problems that I honestly don't have time for my Tumblr. Also, as I said, it's a hobby and lately I don't feel like doing anything, I took advantage of the fact that I was inspired.... enjoy I guess :P

Warnings⚠️:

Domestic abuse, mentions of physical violence and— uh... Character deaths (non-protagonist) There may or may not be inconsistencies or misspellings/pronouns, apologies to readers if that happens.

✧----------------➣

Tufts of hair rippled in the soft, cool breeze of the garden. The tiny, slightly bruised hands of the barely four-year-old girl tried to catch an elusive butterfly. Her clothes, simple and a bit worn for someone her age, did not diminish the curiosity that drove her to explore beyond the restrictions imposed by her absent mother. The Duchessess had asked her never to go out without her supervision, but the inquisitive nature of children was stronger than any warning.

To the little girl's eyes, the garden of the mansion, now abandoned and overgrown with vines, seemed like a magical world. A soft scent emanated from the flowers, even though they had withered with time. The tall trees were like silent guardians, their leaves whispering stories of the past in the breeze.

The butterfly, delicate and ephemeral, was the child's guide in an ethereal dance. Each flutter of its wings was a ray of hope in the midst of the melancholy that surrounded the mansion. The sweet little girl could not help but chase after this ray of fleeting beauty, despite her mother's warnings.

While the little girl was clumsily climbing a tree in pursuit of the butterfly that seemed to mock her innocent determination, her mother had come in from her 'homework'. Her eyes, which had been silently watching from a discreet distance, had finally come to rest on her daughter. A smile, both loving and stern, lit up her face, revealing the inner struggle that she, too, was facing.

(Y/N), her small hands gripping the rough bark of the tree, realized that she had been discovered. Words of rebuke were on her mother's lips as she finally decided to climb down from the tree, but before she could speak, her daughter looked up with innocent eyes and a loving heart.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," she murmured (Y/N) in a soft voice. Her confession was filled with an innocence that would melt even the hardest of hearts.

The Duchess sighed inwardly, tired from the hardships she had to face on a daily basis, both inside and outside of the mansion. Her words, however, were filled with love and concern. "You must be careful, darling. You are too young to risk such games. Besides, you are well aware that you are not supposed to be helping me with the cleaning of the palace, and yet you do it because we have no servants. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Understanding her mother's concern, (Y/N) nodded. "Sorry, Mommy. I promise that I will be more careful and I will help you as much as I can."

The girl held onto her mother's hand, and together, mother and daughter, they walked back into the mansion.

✧----------------➣

The Duchess held her daughter in her arms as they walked back to the rooms of the mansion. (Y/N) looked around curiously and asked, with the innocence befitting her age, how her mother's day had been. The Duchess smiled and assured her that there was no need to worry, that she was a child and should not be burdened with adult responsibilities.

But the little girl sulked and began to whine when her mother suggested that she take a bath. "Mommy," she protested, "I don't want to take a bath. "I always get itchy dandruff and my eyes hurt when I go in."

With a hint of melancholy in her eyes, the Duchess sighed. She knew that her daughter's peculiarities were more than just skin-related. They were a reminder to her of a past she would rather forget, of a time when things had been different. But out of love for her daughter, she kept her thoughts to herself. She nodded tenderly.

"I understand, my love." She replied softly as they reached the bathroom. "But it's important that you become clean. Perhaps we can find some way to make it less uncomfortable. "

The Duchess prepared the bath carefully. She made sure the water temperature was perfect and added some fragrant herbs to ease (Y/N)'s discomfort. Her blue eyes watching the reflection of the candles on the surface, the girl cautiously stepped into the water.

As the Duchess gave her daughter a bath, (Y/N) once again asked with a child's curiosity, "Is it normal for me to look like this, Mama? My scales show and my eyes feel strange when I get we."

The Duchess gently stroked her daughter's hair and replied, smiling softly. "You are special, sweetheart. You have been given a gift, an inheritance that makes you unique, your appearance and especially your eyes. You should not be afraid of the opinions of others."

Her mother's words brought a small measure of comfort to (Y/N), who was beginning to feel more at ease in the water. As the last of the day's light filtered through the bathroom window, mother and daughter shared a moment of intimacy and love that reminded her of why she had not yet given up.

As the Duchess gently dried herself with the towel (Y/N), she was suddenly struck by a coughing fit. The cough was as hoarse as it was painful, and as blood spurted from her lips and stained the white towel, (Y/N) looked up at her mother with eyes filled with fear and confusion.

"Moma, are you all right?" the little girl asked with a look of concern shining in her blue eyes as her small hands gripped the towel tightly in her grip.

The weakness in her voice betrayed her inner struggle, but the Duchess tried to smile. "It's just a little cold, my dear." She replied tenderly. "You don't have to worry. Moma is going to be fine."

(Y/N) nodded, accepting her mother's words with the innocence befitting her age, though it didn't make her stop worrying. "It's okay, Moma ... I'm going to take care of you."

But in the depths of her heart, the Duchess knew that all was not well. Worry and pain gripped her being, not only because of her own failing health, but also because of the dark secret she held in her heart. A secret that would affect (Y/N)'s life in ways she couldn't even imagine.

Even so, she pushed her feelings and her worries to the back of her mind. Smiling, she carried her to bed and told her a story.

✧----------------➣

The sun was slowly beginning to set in the sky, casting a golden glow over the garden as it did so. (Y/N) was holding a makeshift broom in her hand as she eagerly swept up the fallen leaves. Autumn was just around the corner, and the little girl was very excited about the arrival of the new season. She jumped up and down, giggling as she chased the leaves to the ground. Her laughter filled the quiet garden with an infectious joy.

The duchess watched her daughter fondly, her smile a reflection of her happiness to see her enjoying her childhood in spite of the adversity she was facing. The Duchess couldn't help but giggle as (Y/N) turned to her with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes and told her she could sweep faster.

"Oh, do you really think you can do it any faster, little tempest?" the Duchess teased as she came closer. "In defiance of your mother, are you?"

The little girl nodded her head with determination, and then, in a playful gesture, the two of them began a friendly competition. Both swept fervently, their laughter filling the air as they exchanged complicit, playful glances.

In the end, they both finished the job exhausted but full of joy. The Duchess scooped up her daughter and began playing, picking up leaves and dropping them on (Y/N), who laughed and rolled in her arms.

The garden, with its dry and broken fountain, was filled with the laughter and the love shared between mother and daughter, a breath of happiness in the midst of the shadows that threatened to darken their world and to extinguish the little light in their lives.

The play between the Duchess and her daughter was pitifully interrupted when the butler of the main house, a man of elegant and serious bearing, approached, looking formal. "My lady," he announced in a respectful voice, "I am sorry to disturb you, but your parents have arrived and wish to see you."

The girl hid behind her mother, obeying her mother's rule of not allowing the man to see her as such.

The Duchess nodded. Her smile was subdued, but her eyes reflected concern. This visit was a routine that her family followed to make sure that the Duke was not completely neglecting her, and to maintain the flow of money that would never make it into her hands. Remembering the harsh reality of her marriage, the smile faded slightly.

(Y/N) looked at her mother and then at the butler, not fully understanding the situation. In youthful innocence, she asked inquisitively, "Can I meet my grandparents, Moma?"

The Duchess bent down to be at her daughter's level and gently stroked her hair. "Not this time, my dear," she replied in a sweet voice. "While I'm away, I want you to stay here and take care of the mansion. I promise I'll return soon."

She looked at her mother with doubtful eyes, watching the Duchess's expression become increasingly sad as she went after the man. She could feel the sadness in the air and was unsure if she should follow her mother or stay behind in the mansion, despite her young age.

The little girl decided to break the rule her mother had given her with a feeling of fear and curiosity. Leaving the broom on the floor, she sneaked around the mansion, dodging the servants, dressed in simple clothes, and walking barefoot, as if she were a common slave, if you looked closely enough. Following her mother from a distance, she came to a hallway where the doors were ajar, excited and curious at the thought of meeting her grandparents (Y/N), she wondered if they would be kind like in fairy tales and if she would finally have a complete family, but unfortunately several voices in the room burned away those hopes and revealed the harsh reality that had been hidden from her childish eyes.

Surrounded by imposing and cruel figures, the Duchess sat in the center of the room. Her grandmother, a high society lady, scolded her daughter in an authoritative voice. She said: "What on earth are you wearing? My God, what indecency, have you lost all sense of decency and propriety? You have a filthy, emaciated appearance."

The grandmother went on to compare the Duchess to other high society ladies. She pointed out the Duchess's shortcomings and harshly criticized her daughter. "Have a look at the other ladies, with their fancy dresses and jewels. Compared to them, you look like a tramp."

The grandfather also sighed, bored, the girl could see from afar that he was a cold and distant man, he just looked on indifferently, before he started to say cruel words to his own daughter as well.

"For God's sake, even after all these years you're still useless, a burden. You're only here because your brother asked for it. And to be honest, he made us waste the family fortune."

Helplessly, the Duchess swallowed her tears and pressed her lips together, reminding herself that it was for his sake. But the fact that her husband was also part of the chorus of criticism was annoying enough, as it was an opportunity for humiliation. "You should learn from other ladies who know how to please their husbands and make them happy," he said.

Even the Duke's mistress threw her own darts in her sweet, venomous voice. "Poor Duchess, you thought you could compete? Your beauty is a thing of the past, and he has found happiness in my arms. We only keep you here for pity, you dirty bitch!"

(Y/N) watched in silence, hidden in the shadows of the hallway, as the sadness and humiliation washed over her mother. The cruel dialogues and the oppressive atmosphere of the room made her feel tormented. Sadness began to fill her young heart, and although she did not fully understand the complexities of the situation, she could sense the injustice and cruelty that hung over her mother.

With a heart full of rage and helplessness, (Y/N) clenched her fists and pushed open the doors to the room and entered with a determination. She began to cry uncontrollably as she glared accusingly at all the gathered adults.

"Liars! You're the bad people who hurt my mommy!" she shouted with courage and a rage that contrasted with her young age. As she tried to defend her mother from the cruel trial she was being subjected to, her voice quivered with emotion.

The adults present were shocked to see the little girl act so bravely and defy social norms with her unexpected behavior, including (Y/N)'s grandparents. The Duchess's mother was outraged by what she saw as disrespect. She said:

"That little girl is acting like a savage! Get her out of here!" she shouted in the tone of a lady of high society who could not understand the insolence of such a thing.

The Duke, looking at (Y/N) with interest and surprise, finally turned to the Duchess, who was trembling with fear to see her daughter in the middle of this confrontation with those who only wanted to hurt her. Frankly, she blamed herself, knowing that her daughter would not always obey her. As the Duke hurled accusations, the adults present surrounded her, demanding answers and explanations about the identity of (Y/N)'s father.

"Who is the father of this child, Duchess? Damn it, I thought you were boring and you turned out to be a whore," he complained and accused her coldly, even though his look was full of malice. "I thought you were barren. And look, you had this brat well hidden from me!"

The Duke, taking the child by the arms, examined her, while the poor mother of the child just stopped in the midst of so many questions and reproaches.

The Duchess, her eyes filled with tears and trembling with fear, knew that she could not reveal the true identity of (Y/N)'s father at that moment. It was her secret that was at stake, and she had to protect her daughter from the consequences of the truth.

Tension in the room rose as the Duchess tried to explain the situation. But her mother, her face flushed with anger and contempt, slapped her hard before she could answer. Everyone in the room was momentarily silenced by the sound of the blow.

"You are unfaithful and ungrateful," the Duchess's mother charged bitterly. "You are a traitor to your family and to your blood."

Then the Duchess's mother began to complain in a bitter tone, blaming her also for the death of her older brother, Crysten, who had asked everyone to help care for his sister before he died fighting in the Northern War. The Duchess listened to the accusing words, tears streaming down her cheeks as she felt crushed by guilt.

"Crysten was the only one who cared for you. And look how you rewarded him. You slept with another man and fathered a bastard." The Duchess's mother sneered.

Finally, in a fit of rage and grief, the heartbroken Duchess burst out. She cried out her truths mixed with bitterness and despair, her words filled with raw emotion.

"I know all this, Mother!" *Her face said it all, she was hysterical and angry. "I know that I'm here at my brother's request before he died, I know that no one wants me here! Yes, I have made mistakes, but how can I face my husband's betrayal when he is wallowing with another woman right in front of me? The world is hypocritical! Yes, I have been running away from my problems, and I am still doing that, but I'm not going to let you insult this little girl. She's my daughter, I'M HER MOTHER! I don't care who her daddy is, she makes me happy and guess what, I'm sick of all of you. Because I care about her, I can't leave! Even if I'm suffering, I'm okay when she's smiling".

After the Duchess's passionate words, silence fell over the room. Everyone in the room, including (Y/N), was taken aback by the revelation that she had a father, and by her mother's emotional defense of her. Raw emotions filled the air and created a tense and charged atmosphere in the room. The shock was so great that the Duke let the little girl go, leaving her bruised and battered.

Erizebette was heartbroken and tears welled up in her eyes. She took her daughter by the hand and led her away from that place of accusations and bitterness. The angry voices of the adults shouted at her to return and settle the matter. But Erizebette could not stand it any longer.

She walked determinedly, holding her child, covering her ears and hiding her in her chest. The girl could not say a word, feeling the sorrow of the atmosphere around her and still afraid of the looks that were directed at her, scornful and humiliating. Her broken dreams, her childish wish for her mother and grandparents to be with her... were gone.

Finally, in the safety of her room, Erizebette put her daughter to bed. The darkness of the night had enveloped the room, and the weight of all that had happened was weighing heavily on her shoulders.

(Y/N), with eyes full of innocence, broke the silence. "Moma, is all that stuff they said true? ..... My grandparents looked at me with disgust. Am I a mistake? I... Do you regret that you had me?" Her voice trembled with a child's fear of not understanding the cruel world around her. "I'm sorry, Mommy. I'm a fool for not realizing how much you were hurting. Forgive me for being greedy and for my desire to live out a family fantasy like the stories you have read to me."

Erizebette looked at her daughter incredulously for a moment, then hugged her, tears flowing freely. "Oh, my girl," she whispered, voice broken. "You should never have to feel like this. You are the light of my life, my love, my strength. You are the light of my life, my reason to go on."

Letting their emotions boil over, they hugged each other tightly. Erizebette's tears mingled with (Y/N)'s. In the darkness of the night and their lonely sobs, they formed an unbreakable bond between mother and daughter.

✧----------------➣

With (Y/N) always by her side, Erizebette continued her daily chores in the old mansion in the days that followed. Together they cleaned the deserted spaces, brushed away the dust of the past and brought some life back into the forgotten place.

The little girl's curiosity was insatiable. She kept asking questions about her father. She wanted to know what he was like, why he wasn't with them, and why she couldn't get to know him. Erizebette would answer these questions in vague terms, protecting her daughter from the painful truth that threatened to tear at her innocence and shatter what little emotional stability Erizebette herself had left.

But in these days, when the nights became dark and silent, Erizebette began to share (Y/N) memories of her past. She would talk about a certain albino, mentioning his attractive features, his curls like snow in winter, his crystal clear eyes like the deep sky in which it was easy to lose oneself, and his indescribable beauty. The Duchess would tell these stories with melancholy, as if the memory of these moments brought her comfort in the midst of her present suffering. But it was also a painful source of pent-up feelings and unfulfilled regrets.

It was on one of these nights, however, that an uncontrollable fit of coughing shook Erizebette's fragile body. (Y/N) panicked. Tears welled up in her eyes as she watched helplessly as her mother suffered. The girl promised her with sobs that she would go for help, but Erizebette stopped her with a trembling hand.

"No, dear," she said faintly, leaning against the wall. "Just take me to lie down."

(Y/N) obeyed and carefully carried her to bed. The Duchess was still coughing. Her strength was waning as she tried to remain calm in the face of her daughter's concern.

Erizebette showed no sign of improvement when she finally lay down. The child cried beside her, clutching her mother desperately. Erizebette knew it was time to reveal the truth as she looked into her daughter's painful eyes.

"You must know, my love," she began, voice shaking. "I am ill and I do not think I can be at your side much longer."

The heavy words hung in the air, leaving (Y/N) heartbroken as she took in the harsh reality and the possibility of her mother's loss. The room, once filled with stories and laughter, was now filled with tears. The little girl's chest felt heavy.

Caressing her daughter's face, Erizebette began to tell her the truth in a weak but loving voice. "Listen to me, my precious light," she said in a low voice. "Mum's got to leave soon, and frankly, you've seen how bad people can be, so .... Don't cry, please. Be strong. Don't let anything get in your way." A cough interrupted her words. But she continued with determination.

"But let me tell you something, my baby..." Erizebette could not finish the phrase as her daughter interrupted her with tears. "Don't say that! You can't die! I know you'll get well. You said you would, Mummy!"

The woman smiled warmly and stroked her daughter's face as she continued to cry. "I'm sorry, my love. I won't be able to keep this promise, but listen," she said softly. "When I leave this world, leave this house without looking back. And take with you the shell necklace that is buried in the biggest tree near the well. Look for Papa, I'm sure he will help you," Erizebette smiled tiredly and whispered her last breath as she coughed.

"(Y/N), I want to tell you that among all the bad and pathetic things in my life, you were my only achievement that I can really be proud of. Please don't ever forget that. Don't let anyone try to diminish how you shine.

With these words, Erizebette closed her eyes and her hand cooled on top of her daughter's. (Y/N) was stunned and refused to come to terms with the loss.

(Y/N)'s tears continued to flow as her mother continued to speak. The little girl desperately tried to wake Erizebette. She cried out:

"MUMA!!! This isn't funny, please don't fall asleep!" She pleaded, breathless. "Mummy, mummy, please, I know you're sleeping, but get up .... Please don't leave me here alone! PLEASE!"

Silence fell over the room. The little girl was caught in a whirlwind of overwhelming emotions. As she mourned the departure of the one person who had been her refuge in this cruel world, sadness, loss and confusion washed over her.

"Mummy... Why? Mum, I was greedy with you and now .... now - wuaaah!!!" She couldn't speak, her throat closed up, and to be honest, she could hardly process anything but the fulfilment of her mother's (Y/N) words, still crying inconsolably, she walked towards the place where she used to play with the Duchess.

Suddenly the weather turns nasty, with dark clouds covering the sky, almost reacting to the little girl's grief, or perhaps to the sound of another person crying in the distance. Between sobbing, the little girl digs out the jewellery box her mother told her about.

She opens it and finds a beautiful crystal shell which makes melodious sounds when caressed by the nascent wind, as the old villa was near the coast. As the water from the recent rain soaks her completely, (Y/N) carefully puts on the necklace. The girl screams and cries, feeling the loss of her mother and the longing for her presence, but she gradually fades away and begins to feel sleepy. She crawls over to the Duchess's corpse, smiles and wishes her goodnight as she sleeps beside her mother's cold body.

Elsewhere, somewhere far away, a figure awakens suddenly with the feeling that his connection with Erizebette has been abruptly severed. The pain in his heart is gone, but all that does is cause him to scream and cry out in despair. The pain is unbearable as he knows his beloved is dead. But something inside him tells him that there is still a faint connection, a small piece of his magic, linked to the necklace he gave her years ago. The necklace the girl now wears. He has a feeling that something has changed, but he can't quite make sense of it, but he hasn't given up hope and vows to find the source of this new connection.

For like a last melody abandoned, another will be reborn...

Nearest, yet far beyond

Warmth in the distance

How would you respond

To this madness, this existence?

Hold me closer

Hold me tighter

I'm mirroring this clear view

Filling up with blindness

Projecting that I need you

To overcome my weakness

Oh, the cold, the void, the light out

This warmth will go, wither out

(Hoo-ooh, ah)

Dearest, I shall not long

Grief in insistance

How to break this bond

When it's timeless, when it's cherished?

Hold me closer

Hold me tighter

Admiring this clеar view

Feeling crushed with brightness

Forgеtting that my time flew

Forgetting I was lifeless

The cold, the void, this light out

Our warmth will go, wither out

(Hoo-ooh, ah)

youtube

Thanks for reading and this time I won't put the thank you box in given my image/video oversaturation. I hope you like it and I still have to finish the third part, let's see if I can think of something. Bye bye! (-.-)Zzz・・・・(*゜▽゜)_□

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writting-for-a-chain-of-heros · 10 days

Text

Links divorce HC

Day 1:

Sky

Neglected

Tw: Divorce, depression, neglect and a lot of angst

He really didn't know how it happened but one day you both had gotten into a slow routine where you were both acting more like roommates than a couple

Or more specifically YOU stopped acting like his spouse

It was slow at first, little changes here and there that didn't seem like a big deal at first but looking back at them they were warning signs he should have considered before the situation escalated into this.

At first they were complaints about how tired you had been feeling lately, how busy you had been with helping to repair the damages your era had faced by Dark Link plus his goons and how forgetful you had started being on time to your dates with Sky.

Then you started to slowly sleep in more during the morning,which Sky couldn't protest against too much since it meant more time for him to sleep but also more time to cuddle with you in his arms as you rested against him.

But soon after it got to a point where even HE was concerned with how many days you'd spend doing nothing but laying in your covers with the rare exception of work that was also on the edge of being forgotten in exchange for sloth.

He'd try to get you to get out more often by suggesting some of the things you loved to do together, unfortunately they also didn't work.

You want to go exploring? Sorry not today, your legs feel weak :(

You want to go flying? The weather is too cold/hot/humid/sunny, maybe next time

Do you want to go spar for a few rounds? You have an upset stomach,your head hurts or you just don't have the energy for it today.

At some point you stop eating as much as you use to, in fact you're barely eating at all

He tries his best to be a good spouse by bringing the food to you in bed which results in you refusing to eat and leaving behind a full plate or only patrically eating it while leaving most of it behind

Every time he'd try to question you on why you haven't been going out or caring for yourself he's met with either silence or a half answer excuse.

“Can you tell me what's been bothering you?” He'd ask

“It's nothing, I am just in a funk, I'll get out of it soon,Link.”

He doesn't want to push you beyond your limits and he genuinely believes you when you tell him those lines over to him

It's ok

You're ok

Everything is ok.

You're just in a bad mood, this will pass in time

He just needs to give you space and comfort then you'll be back to the same old you from before.

He just has to wait and be patient.

That's what he tells himself for weeks as you slowly start to get worse and worse over time.

It was bad enough when you were both acting so distant but now he was less of a spouse and more like a parent now.

It has been 6 months and you had stopped do all chores, stopped feeding yourself, stopped showering, stopped working, stopped going on dates completely and stopped,well, basically doing everything except breathing

Sometimes you'd get up to go to the bathroom, maybe eat a little bit of the food Link had gotten you and that was it before you plopped back down to bed with the old stained blanket

The room would stink of day-old food that was barely touched and Link would have to be the one to toss it out while he did the dishes along with the rest of the household chores he had been doing alone for some time now.

He’d find himself having to drag you out of bed to clean you since you refused to do it yourself.

He'd change out the bed sheets,blankets, pillows you had been sleeping in for Hylia knows how long.

He'd brush your hair,brush your teeth,clip your nails, change your clothes,do the laundry & do his daily activities outside while you continue to show no progress

He tries to talk to you a few more times but you don't even bother to give an excuse anymore which leads to a lot of one sided arguments that only frustrate him more as the relationship becomes more strained.

He tries to get you to do couples counseling and tries to seek help from his friends to mediate the situation only for it to fail as well.

He wants to help you.

He really does but he doesn't know how.

But the most frustrating part of it all is that it seems as though you aren't even trying at all

After a year & a half of consistently trying he finally gives you an ultimatum.

You either seek professional help and try to get better or there's a divorce.

He loves you

He absolutely loves you

He wants to spend the rest of his life with you

But he can't stay with you if you refuse to do anything to change or improve

He feels neglected

He feels alone

He wants the bright person you used to be to come back...

Please..

……

…..

The relationship ends.

#linked universe #lu #linked universe x reader #chesse tag #cheese writes #angst #lu sky x reader #lu sky

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kairiscorner · 8 months

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Can I get something with Miguel with a fem s/o that's a witch. Like they're both from the same dimension and he barely finds out she's not really using modern technology much, as she is using her own magic to complete daily tasks? 🎃

that is interesting,,, SURE ANON !!!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

miguel o'hara x witch!reader (headcanons and blurbs !!)

miguel would not be the type to believe in anything mystical nor magic, though after meeting you, he might've had some second thoughts when he saw your powers in action.

he used to think you were using simulations or advanced holographic technology to cast your spells and illusions, he is skeptical to a FAULT, he refuses to believe anything that can be explained beyond science exists.

showing him your magic for the first time scared him, because he couldn't explain through a scientific or logical manner how phenomena like that is possible. he did get amazed by how you can use your magic in practical ways, though, but he stands by the use of technology, he doesn't think he can do magic very well.

"this is... very intricate technology you have here." miguel said as he looked at the translucent creature you summoned, inspecting it all around. you looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "technology?" "what is it, nanotech? holograms? don't tell me you're an arts and design major, because as impressive as the design is, i can't believe you'd plant a million little cameras all for this." he said in subtle awe as he reached out to touch the 'hologram', when all of a sudden... it licked him; the creature reached out and licked him.

you chuckled as you placed your hand on the creature's snout, with it purring and nuzzling towards your palm. miguel stepped back a little and tried to comprehend what just happened. "it... licks." "it does." you said with a smile as miguel's hand felt wet and sopping. "how did you, um, program it to... to salivate?" "i didn't program, i summoned." you corrected him as he muttered under his breath something in spanish. "no, it's... it's a hologram." "familiars aren't holograms." miguel stayed silent as he tried to come up with a logical answer as to why the creature you had was able to salivate, and seemingly blink, breathe, smile, nuzzle up to you as if it had a corporeal form, and have a heartbeat. no way was magic the reason, right?

every time he calls for you to get him something, it's always there in an instant, even when you're lying down or lounging around because of your telekinetic magic. you don't have to fold clothes or get up to make a coffee for yourself, you do all that and more with your telekinesis, and... miguel is super jealous you don't need that much brain power to multitask, unlike him.

if you had teleportation magic, miguel NEVER gets used to you just randomly popping up behind or next to him. he always gets spooked by you whenever he just turns around and sees you there or hears your voice so closely that he jumps out of his skin.

your summoning magic is not only very helpful, but it kinda makes miguel a little competitive with you. he thinks he can make lyla summon stuff faster than you, but ultimately, AI just can't beat raw talent, and of course, your raw talent and aptitude at magic cannot be beaten.

he doesn't know too much about technology, however, since he majored in biology, but he thinks using technology is much more convenient and tries to teach you how to at least use a basic communication device.

you both have one thing in common, though, you both suck horribly at using 21st century technology.

"what the shock am i doing?" you asked yourself aloud as you tapped on the screen of the phone you borrowed from a random stranger to try and contact miguel. being stranded in the past is awful, especially when your powers were on the fritz that day for some reason and you couldn't contact miguel through any medium other than through the technology of the 21st century. the stranger tried helping you out, with you failing to understand fully how to make a call to him, but when you did call him, you were surprised to see his face so up close to the screen.

it took you both a few tries to talk through the phone, but eventually, you both managed to have a very choppy and unintelligible conversation that was courtesy of bad signal and free crappy wifi at the local coffee shop miguel was at. "man, fuck this." you muttered as you handed the stranger their phone back and tried to find him, but without technology from 2099 nor your powers, you were in for a shitty day ahead of you.

he will admit, though, your magic makes up for technology's shortcomings. your magic hardly fails or screw up badly since you've been a witch for a long time already, though he says it in the most forced out and long-winded way as possible like ,,,,

after you saved miguel's tight ass from that eldritch monster that threatened to destroy nueva york from the ground up with only the raw magic you could muster and the abilities you were taught from a very young age, miguel had... sort of admired you for what you did for him. he was relieved he was saved, but to know magic was what would save him and not the technology he invested so much of his time on, he had felt a little embarrassed that it couldn't hold a candle to your talents, but he shouldn't have to be surprised that you were this strong this whole time.

"um..." he began as he got to his feet, with you helping him up with your powers. "yeah?" "...you did very... very little to destroy the city more than that monster had. it's very commendable, o-on your part. i'm... i'm glad you understand your powers well enough to... to keep mass destruction from- from occurring." he said with a slight bashfulness in his tone. "...and thank you for... helping evacuate all those people. i-i mean, i could've done it, but, y'know, the monster and all had like, 8 tentacles and i only have 4 limbs, so..." "you're welcome, miguel." you said with a bright smile, which made him even more flustered and embarrassed at how humble you were, how you didn't brag about how right you were that magic truly was a powerful asset, even in the 22nd century.

he tried not to expose himself for his embarrassment and tried to tell you how you could use the tech he gifted you to your advantage, but he couldn't even do that when he realized his tech couldn't even hold the monster back and had to get you to help him with your magic. "if it's... possible, would you like to... teach me some basic... basic... shock it, would you please teach me some basic magic?" he finally blurted out, to which you immediately said, 'yes!' to. he couldn't believe he was doing this, but, he had to admit, your magic was a force to be reckoned with; you were a force to be reckoned with. he wants to keep his home, family, friends and... you safe, of course, so to do that, he'd have to learn from the best of the best to get a little more creative and find better solutions to keep this city safe.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara fluff #spiderman 2099 #atsv #atsv miguel #atsv fluff #atsv imagines #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader #spiderman across the spiderverse fluff

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dragynkeep · 3 months

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can confirm there are no trigger warnings for SA on the Hazbin Hotel show, not in the episodes that feature it or even in general. it just says "sexual content" under the general content advisory, and the start of the show doesn't give any trigger warnings either.

I'm...disappointed, honestly, because the ADDICT music video at least had trigger warnings for SA on it. so it's not like Vivzie doesn't know they should be there or anything, and yet they're not present in the show. I mean, I'm disappointed in the whole thing--I decided to try watching Hazbin after seeing a few people in a Discord I'm in talking about how much they liked it, and I wanted to like it too--but the show itself is just...a train wreck. unwarned for SA, anti-blackness, bad character design, the usage of voodoo symbols to try and make Alastor seem more spooky edgy evil like there's not enough demonization of voodoo as it is...

the comparison of Angel Dust and Husk's situations was the final straw for me. although in all honesty I really couldn't stand Charlie's attempted intervention in Angel Dust's life either, how absolutely unhelpful she was, how much she did not understand at all, how it totally backfired and Angel Dust got hurt because of her thoughtless (and imho kind of selfish) actions, and how quickly it was just....forgiven and forgotten without Charlie seeming to really learn anything beyond "oh, I should've left when I was asked." the show is a train wreck but the entire fourth episode made me feel ill.

I knew they didn't have any warnings but having it actually confirmed is just so much worse. The episode didn't just have "sexual content", it was fucking rape. That is a whole different discussion that needs to be specific because I'm not gonna get triggered by just sex.

The one thing I did like in the episode was the idea that even the most well intentional people can just cause more damage in domestic abuse situations. Charlie wanted to help but made things worse because she couldn't get Angel Dust out of the situation with Val, and because Angel Dust isn't in the right mindset yet to leave nor is he even able to because of the contract.

Did I like how over the top Charlie was at the end? No, but that's because I don't like how much of a baby they're making Charlie in an attempt to make her naive and innocent. That's a grown ass woman, stop it.

And also, I'm sorry, but there's like negative chemistry between Angel Dust and Husk. Husk literally had to be sent by Vaggie to go and get him, rather than it happening naturally through him feeling guilt or just wanting Angel Dust to be alright.

Nevermind that the song sucks ass. People can say critics have no reading comprehension and don't understand it, but I've rewatched it multiple times along with Ais, and we both agree that this song is just Husk calling Angel Dust a loser because he is in a situation he has no control over.

And loser is such a weighted term because it's an insult at people over things they have done. Angel Dust is stuck in a sex trafficking situation, where he is raped daily and uses drugs to escape the pain, while Husk was an overlord who sold his soul to Alastor and at worst is stuck working at a bar.

Which is something we thought could use at least a small tweaking to not be so horrific. The song can't be saved, but Husk having an alcohol problem than a gambling problem would at least have it that Alastor is refusing to respect his boundaries and making him work in an environment that is specifically triggering him all the time.

Nevermind that there's far more in the actual show for Husk to have an alcohol problem being his main issue than a non-existing gambling problem. At least then he and Angel can relate to issues that they don't have as much control over and having bosses that don't care that their work is triggering to them in the form of forced sex work and bartending while surrounded by alcohol and drunk people all the time.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel critical #answered #luke.txt

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luxgalador · 9 months

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Ma'am, If I may, what led you to coming to terms with your identity? Was there a process that made you think, "maybe I'm not what I was born with?" No matter how your respond, I thank you for the mega cool vibes and consistent dream of memes, cat pics, and explanations of why furry stuff is super cool

I never had a lightbulb moment. And I also am not a "I always knew" type of girl. My unravelling and actualizing has been and continues to be a gradual process of following what feels good and asking myself questions about why it feels good.

In hindsight, I can say "oh yeah that makes a lot more sense" now that I've realized some major things, of course. But I never felt "I'm not what I was born with." It was more a "maybe I could be this? Let's follow this."

One thing I did always know is that I felt different than most other people. I figured that one out pretty early. The way I interacted with the world just didn't seem to align with how many folks did. And my problem is that I never connected with, knew, or was even aware that the way I felt was something that others felt too.

Realistically I didn't really have an original thought about my own identity until I was 19 years old and finding myself in substance abuse rehabilitation. It was only when faced with the real possibility of my own death that my Self™ began to emerge. She started slowly taking control. Because I needed it. Because without me, actually me, driving the car of my life, I was going to fucking die.

My queerness first emerged in a dream when I was 20. I don't remember the dream, but I remember waking up in a panic. I'd grown up aware of queer people, but fed through my well-meaning cishet mom who's only exposure to queerness was through the blood-stained lens of the AIDS crisis. "It's such a hard life" was a phrase I'd heard so often in regards to gay people. It wasn't outwardly hateful, but it felt like an "other" existence that wasn't preferable to "normal" society. My only awareness of trans people was through punchlines and stereotypes. Despite having always wanted to be a girl if given the choice, I didn't understand that there actually was a choice and I could be what I wanted.

I started making videos more earnestly and engaging with the YouTube community. I became pretty successful in that world. I also became a student. Fueled by curiosity and a compulsion to understand the world to keep myself going, I learned. I listened. I asked questions. I was YouTube's It Bi Boy™ but something remained missing.

I hadn't spoken the words yet, but I started growing my hair out. I'd seen a lot of sapphics with short curly bob hairdos that I wanted to emulate. I wanted to look feminine. As I was aging into my mid-20s, I started looking like a man and I hated it. I didn't understand what that meant beyond "I don't want to look like a man." That evolved into, okay well maybe I'm not a man.

The rest of my 20s, that's the crux of my identity. It wasn't an affirmative identity, but rather a reductive one. The only thing I knew is what I wasn't. I wasn't a man. I thought this was enough. Deep in me I wanted to be a woman, but I still didn't realize that I could be. That I already was.

I did more makeup daily before HRT. I got dolled up every single day to go to work. My heart would soar if someone "mistook" me for a woman. That's how I wanted to be perceived. But I was stuck in "not a man" identity for a while.

I read an article in 2019 about HRT regimens that were low-dose. I'd never considered hormones before this. But I knew immediately this is what I wanted. It felt like a level that I was "allowed" to have. I still felt like I wasn't allowed to be a woman. That I wasn't trans enough to embrace it. I made an appointment within a week.

Pandemic happened, in many ways my life froze. But I kept changing. After 6 months on the low-dose I said "fuck it" and went to a full dose. I grew tits. I felt so much better. Relieved. Like I was course correcting. It was good, but still not good enough.

I had to move to Florida due to financial issues in late 2021. I had roommates again including my sister. It was the first time I was around people regularly after so much had changed in my body. It was a few months later that I realized that I was basically living my life as a woman just without affirming that reality to myself. So 2.5 years into HRT I finally did it. I owned that. I she/they'd for like 2 weeks then realized I didn't want they. I didn't want neutrality. I wanted to be and was her. In this moment I also connected the dots that my sexuality was not bi, despite years in that community and many, many videos made by me on the subject. Bisexuality, in hindsight, was an identity that allowed me access to loving women queerly before I knew I was a woman myself.

So here I am, at 30, about 10 years after that first dream. I'm a woman. I'm a lesbian. I'm living with the love of my life in Chicago. And in many ways, it feels like I'm just getting started. Thanks for reading.

#word vomit #trans #queer #lesbian #lgbtq #transfeminine

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faerybites · 8 months

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Vulnerable post here:

Last night, it was me and my fiancé's anniversary so we went out for dinner and for a few drinks. I recently bought this 70's gothic outfit which I really liked... but as someone with large boobs and I do struggle to find something that fits me. But this jumpsuit outfit made me feel very confident within myself. Now, like I said, I have big boobs so they'll always be on "display" but the upper part fitted with them perfectly; not too tight or too loose. I get stares with having big boobs, always do and it makes me feel uncomfortable but I get on with it... that's just what I do. I have called people out and can stand up for myself even in scary situations. Anyway, that was bound to happen with the outfit I was wearing. Possible stares. During the night, we bumped into someone we know, a woman, and she made a "funny" comment about my chest area right off the bat. "Well, thank goodness my husband isn't with me to see this!" her eyes on my chest area. We all laughed it off but I remember feeling a sinking feeling in my stomach. My fiancé told me not to worry about it and we carried on our evening. We met up with some friends which was fine, I was headed to the restroom when I walked past a group of men and I got whistled at, which I ignored, this happens on a daily basis but I just "ignore" them. I was coming out from the restroom when one of the men was outside, I asked him to move out of my way and he said "Not with a body like that!" He snickered and instead of wanting to stand up to myself, out of fear I asked him to move out of the way. I told him my fiancé will be wondering where I am and he tried to grab my chest area but someone came in and he ran away. I ran back into the restroom and cried. I was so scared. I went back out to our friends and my fiancé knew something was up. The men, as well as that creeper had left the pub we were in. I was beyond relieved. We went home and I told him "Why did you let me go out in this? I feel like I let you down as well as myself." I told him about what happened and he just held me. That is what I like about my partner, he supports me and empowers me to do or be whoever I want. He would never tell me what to and not wear, he isn't a controlling a**hole. I cried myself to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling like a guilty failure. A slut. Asking for it. You name it. I even googled breast reduction. Chest binding. I hated my body more than ever. I blamed myself for not reporting the incident to the pub staff. I wish I had but all the what ifs started flooding my brain. I don't know why this is effecting me so much. I have experienced various forms of unwanted attention before but what happened to me last night is effecting me a lot.

I am doing okay today, I'm taking care of myself; cuddling up on the couch with my cat with a blanket and a cup of tea. No one should ever have to feel unsafe just because you look "sexy". I am angry and frustrated with how society views women to be. I also feel incredible embarrassed. Has anyone ever felt like this?

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claraxbarton · 3 months

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You might have answered this before, BUT I’m a recent follower and curious ok!! Generally speaking, what is your writing process like? I’m genuinely so impressed by how many different fics you’ll have going simultaneously and they’re all updated SO frequently. AND THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD?? Like do you have vague plans/outlines or drafts that you expand on/edit? Your accountability post will mention writing a few thousand words and then there’s an update the same day and it’s written so well lmao it blows my MIND bc it seems like you just come up with the plot on the fly and then casually write a lil masterpiece after work like it’s nbd. All of this to say I appreciate your work so much ♥️

So uh, to start off with, I'm guessing when you say you recently started following me, you're probably just reading my HRPF fics? I SAY that/ask that because I've bounced through a few fandoms and I kind of go back and forth between being VERY prolific and finishing up projects and kind of... losing steam.

To be fair to me and not to scare anyone off, before this year I have, for the last decade and change, been juggling two full time jobs, part time work, childcare and a lot of volunteer work PLUS trying to write so like, I'm cutting myself some slack on abandoned projects. Because I'm finally down to 1 full time job and 1 part time gig that is only during the summer. I will ALSO say, in December I switched meds for my anxiety/depression so I'm on a new dose, new meds for the first time in 5 years and I do think that's been really impactful in a positive way.

SO, exposition and TMI out of the way:

I wish I could say I had a really clear process that I follow every time, but I don't want to lie. I create docs with notes - I'm thinking about including those as an epilogue chapter on the fics I'm currently working on, if anyone is interested in my scribbles aside from myself and my beta - and SOMETIMES I create outlines. A lot of the time, I will write a chapter or two and THEN create the outline? That's what happened with Gold Rush, but also with Gold Rush, I have already deviated from the outline like... a lot.

I'm trying to be way more chill with myself than I used to be. I was in this deep grind of forcing myself to be productive because that's where my value was (@kangofu-cb is a real one and has been trying to beat this out of me for years. Beating with love). And I'll be honest, being kinder to myself and putting less pressure is, like, so far, so good.

I usually have about, like... a dozen or so fic ideas in my head at any one time (@dwisp can attest to the DAILY messages of 'hear me out' as can @kangofu-cb), but I uh, I really feel 4 long fic is my simultaneous max.

I also have a problem with like, so if you DO want to read some of my not HRPF stuff, I think a good primer is the WinterhawkHood month I did in October with a fic a day, and the consistent issue is: I feel like I'm really good at creating a premise and that premise wants to exist beyond 2-5k. So longfic is probably the format to best tell the stories I want to tell, but, like, writing shorter fic is a lot of fun? That also does NOT answer your question.

Oh! MUSIC! It's so so so so important to my process. I used to put on specific artists, like really get into a singular vibe for a fic. But these days it's just my routine sleepy sad girl playlists (name coined by a former assistant and like she wasn't wrong). Which also probably explains how much sad sack Leon there is in my current fics. I should probably like, get some new playlists going...

Uh, in terms of like, my style/my ideas... so my professional life is theatre adjacent, and I think because of that, dialogue and THE INCITING INCIDENT are really important to me. So usually any fic idea forms around the kernal of the meet ugly and some choice words.

Like, for Gold Rush, I absolutely started from the idea of Leon being a bitch to the press and getting a text from an unknown number/Matthew and it just grew from there.

For Playing Favorites, I absolutely wanted to have former camboy Vince realize his new... work colleague??? Adam Larsson knew he was a former camboy. Which is funny because that moment happens in the middle of the fic (which I AM going to update again soon, y'all might vote consistently for Gold Rush in the polls but this weekend I think it's gotta be some love for my two Lars&Dunn fics).

For Northern Attitude, that inciting incident is, uh, about to occur in ch4 that I'm currently working on. And it's. Well. Yeah. So I got the idea for that 'scene' if you will first and then figured it out backwards?

For Wildfire that, too, has an inciting incident that has yet to make it into a chapter. But she's coming soon.

So really, only Gold Rush started as the beginning as far as ideas went for me? That said, I still START at the beginning when I write. I used to scribble down scenes and then piece them in, but I honestly found it constrained me more than anything else and I'm aware that doesn't make much sense.

I feel like this entire answer is a total nonanswer of me just blathering away. I hope at least part of this is what you wanted and uh... sincerely? Thank you for asking. It means a lot and like, my process is weird and inconsistent but I do genuinely love to talk about my writing.

#wow #talk about yourself more #no but thanks for the ask #this was a lot about me #sorry to anyone who def did not want to read this

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