#doubt this will get any notes but here’s some personal info about my life and kh experience

[sensitive-charmy]

I really want to share my experience with KH and how I got into it since I know everyone’s stories are so unique. KH is the one and only passion I’ve had that carried from my childhood well into my adulthood. There are things I liked as a kid that I still like now. But nothing touched me to the degree that KH has. And it’s amazing to me just how long it has stuck with me. It’s amazing to me that I still think about it literally every day of my life. So here’s my very long, unnecessary, personal story.

I had just started middle school and became very close with my new friend (we’ll call her Jessica for the sake of privacy). Jessica lived right up the street from me, and we would go over to each other’s houses every single day after school and play video games. I wasn’t much of a gamer myself. I always had video games growing up, but I was never really good at them and didn’t take it too seriously. Jessica had a burning passion for video games, though. And that’s just how we bonded.

Jessica had Sora’s crown necklace. And one day, I asked her what it was. And I guess she had the realization that we play video games together every day, and somehow, I didn’t know about Kingdom Hearts. She demanded I go over to her house and play because “it’s a Disney game,” and I was “sure to love it.” Once Friday hit, I went to her mom’s house and started playing. I had very little experience with Japanese culture or anime. I was never allowed to watch or play Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Dragon Ball, Naruto or anything of the sort. I had a very toxic impression that anime was “bad” and therefore, I was highly disgusted by Japanese animation. When Simple and Clean started playing and I had to sit through that trippy opening sequence, I was very turned off towards KH. I thought this was gonna be about Disney movies? I thought this was about Disney princesses? Not anime boys. I voiced my discontentment, and Jessica’s mom said to me, “Just play until you meet Donald and Goofy. That’s when the game actually starts.”

I don’t know if it was the combination of both Jessica and her mom forcing me to play or if I genuinely enjoyed playing it or if I just felt pressured to say I liked it. I don’t remember exactly what I was feeling after having met and Donald and Goofy. But apparently, I told my dad about it, and he immediately bought both KH1 and KH2 for me.

I remember really struggling to beat Riku in the race and thinking I had to win. It was very difficult for eleven-year-old me who was (and still is) very bad at video games. It took me about two years to finish KH1 simply because I milked it for all it was worth and really took my time exploring every single inch of every world. I loved that game. And it holds a very, very special place in my heart considering it was the first video game I ever completed by myself. In the time that it took for me to beat KH1, Jessica moved out of the city and we lost touch. I never got the chance to tell her just how much Kingdom Hearts meant to me. We barely had the chance to bond over it at all since I fell in love with it in slow motion. But I still think about her every now and then, think about how much this silly little game still means to me, and I wonder if she still loves it too.

It took me about a year to finish KH2 for the same reason. I played and played and played those games like I’ve never played a video game before or since. Neither one of my sisters played Kingdom Hearts. And none of my friends did either. I had absolutely no one to talk to about it, which is really why I remained oblivious to any “spin-offs” that had been or were currently being made. I grew up in a very sheltered home where YouTube and the internet was not allowed to be explored (not to mention that YouTube barely had much footing at the time).

I had made my own binder cover with images from KH and paraded it around school proudly, waiting for the moment that someone would recognize it and strike up conversation with me. It finally happened one day around 2012 when someone said, “Have you played Birth By Sleep?” I said, “No…?” because I had never heard of that. And they said, “Oh, that sucks. I guess you’ll never know who Roxas really is.” (Because people were theorizing that Roxas was Ven’s Nobody at the time.) Of course, I freaked out, and decided to look up this stuff on my own. I found that Chain of Memories, 358/2 Days, and Birth By Sleep had all been released and that I had no clue what their stories were about at all. Panic set in as I realized they were all on different consoles. Even though I already had a GBA, a DS, and a PS3, my silly child brain thought it was completely illogical to ask for video games. I never brought it up with my parents. And I basically forced myself to suffer. I thought, “I have to know these stories. But I can’t play these games. I’ll have to just watch cutscenes and read Wikipedia articles.” And that’s exactly what I did, lol. I braved the world of YouTube and looked up KH cutscenes and consumed the games in that fashion, especially since Let’s Plays were still a very new and foreign concept. (And people who did Let’s Plays were typically very vulgar and inappropriate, and I was a good child, lol.) The exact same thing happened when Dream Drop Distance was released. I remember walking around Best Buy with my dad and seeing the poster. He said to me, “Do you want that game?” And I didn’t want to be a burden. I didn’t want my dad to have to spend $60 on a video game plus however much the 3DS was. And I knew I wouldn’t play any other games on the 3DS except DDD. So I said, “No, it’s just a spin-off. It doesn’t matter to the story. And 3D makes me sick.” So he didn’t buy it for me. And I forced myself to suffer in the same way, watching cutscenes on YouTube and silently wishing I could’ve just played it myself.

In 2013, the only thing that mattered to me was the official announcement of KH3. Honestly, that announcement rang so loud it my ears, it drowned everything else. I somehow managed to miss the fact that 1.5 was released even though its trailer was coupled with the KH3 announcement. I literally didn’t even realize 1.5 was a thing until the end of 2013. And I had this incredibly dumb thought that it was gonna cost hundreds of dollars because it was “three gaming experiences in one package.” Stupid dumb little Lea who had no idea how to navigate the internet or any information. I still had this idea that the KH “spin-offs” were unavailable to me due to money (even though I already had a PS3. Seriously. Stupid dumb little Lea.) So once I learned about 1.5, I decided the best way to consume it was once again through YouTube.

Enter: SkywardWing

I found his Road to Kingdom Hearts III series and watched the hell out of it. Every morning before school while eating breakfast, I’d watch the most recent episode he uploaded. Finally, I got to see what Re:Chain of Memories gameplay looked like. Finally, I got to the heart of 358/2 Days. Finally, I was able to live vicariously through Sky. Finally, I had someone else to “interact with” about KH. Even though I am a very passive lurker and rarely comment on videos or interact in large ways on the internet, I felt like Sky was a friend. I’d readily consume every single theory or fun video he’d make leading up to KH3. And of course I watched the other Key Keepers as well, but none hit as close to home as SkywardWing. Without him, I genuinely wonder if my love for Kingdom Hearts would’ve eventually tapered off. Waiting for KH3 was such a long process, I wonder if I would’ve eventually lost the love and passion if I didn’t see his videos on my feed every day.

In April of 2014, I was having a very bad week. It’s a long story and not worth telling here, but the tipping point was when my friend was trying to help me out and asked if I wanted to go to a drive-in theater with her and her family to see the new Captain America movie. Captain America is my favorite superhero, and I always wanted to go to a drive-in, but this week in particular, my mom had an iron grip on me and told me I couldn’t go. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever been so mad at her, especially considering I was plenty old enough to make my own decisions. My dad must’ve felt really bad for me because he went out and bought 1.5 for me completely unprompted.

When 2.5 released later that year, I didn’t have to ask my dad for it. He knew how much I loved 1.5. Of course, KH2 got put on the back burner. I played BBS first. Do you know how long I had been waiting for the opportunity to play that game myself? Aqua, Terra, and Ven felt like old friends who I hadn’t seen in years. That’s still one of the most magical memories in my life.

Some time passed, and my sister’s husband introduced me to his friend who really loved Kingdom Hearts, and he became my boyfriend. Kingdom Hearts was the glue that kept the two of us together. The relationship was not healthy, but I really clung to the fact that he liked Kingdom Hearts. I didn’t have any friends who played these games. I didn’t know anyone who cared anywhere near as much as I did. It was so important to me that my boyfriend played them and enjoyed them as much as me. I didn’t wanna let that go, so I held on much longer than I should’ve. We were dating when 2.8 came out, so he came over to my house and played with me because we were both incredibly excited. My boyfriend and I broke up shortly after (thank goodness). And cue more impatient waiting for KH3.

By 2019, I was dating a different boy. He had never played KH a day in his life, but he respected that it meant so much to me. He came over on release day and happily watched me play KH3 for hours. I’d give him the controller during the mech segments in Toy Box because he loved first person shooters. That day will forever be etched in my heart. That was the day I had been waiting for for so long. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it and all its emotions.

I look back and find it silly that I was dating one boy when 2.8 came out and then a different boy when KH3 came out and now I’m not involved with anyone. I sometimes wonder if I’ll be with someone else whenever KH4 finally releases and I laugh to myself. I can count on one hand the amount of people I’ve personally met who have played these games. And none of them had long-lasting impacts on my life except for Jessica and my initial introduction to the series. I am once again at a point where I don’t have anyone in my personal life to talk to about it. But making this blog and reading y’all’s posts has been monumental. I love hearing what everyone has to say, everyone’s experiences and opinions. This silly little video game means so much to me. And I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

#doubt this will get any notes but here’s some personal info about my life and kh experience #maybe I’ll make a follow up to this post because I really didn’t even say half of what I wanted to #no joke y’all this silly video game changed my life #kingdom hearts #kh #long post #personal story #personal

[vixenvoider]

I ENTERED THE VOID STATE

in this post i will explain in depth how i entered the void state and what i manifested. i will be open to questions but if you ask something that i explain in this post i won't answer it just fyi, so even though this will be long, if you are truly curious i encourage you to read the whole thing. i am sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes that might be present.

overall story: i have been trying to enter the void for around 2 months now, and finally entered through a lucid dream. one thing i want to note before i tell my story is that i have been lucid dreaming my whole life (so if you never have, i don't know what good steps are for beginners).

the beginning: my journey started when i inadvertently came across a post about how someone else entered the void state and manifested their dream body and face. i was not into manifesting before, in fact, i actually had a problem with the whole concept of the law of attraction and didn't know there were other types of manifestation and never looked deeply into it. that being said, i have always been an open-minded person and also, a more or less spiritual person. i believe in a lot of "out there" things because a lot of said things have been proven to me (through experiences i find hard to explain so i'm not going to). i'm sharing this to let you know that due how deeply i naturally believe in such things i never really had a problem with my void concept, even though i experienced doubts (so for this area i really can't give much advice).

so after learning about the existence of the void state i searched "void state" on tumblr and skimmed some info here and there on it, what i came across included some basic methods on how to enter the void but i didn't fully understand them yet. that same night i followed a shifting guided meditation but i couldn't really get "into" it, i was a naturally anxious person who found it hard to relax so it just wasn't working, but i did see it through and try my best and i think in the long run it helped me. in the guided meditation i listened to, the person makes you walk through a door to get to your desired reality and even though the meditation didn't work, that imagery worked it's way into my subconscious and i had a lucid dream that night. i did not manifest anything that night but it was on purpose (i think). in my lucid dream i woke up in my bedroom. i looked in the mirror and decided i would change what i saw to a more desired appearance and it worked (i looked exactly like the person i was thinking of), then, i decided (with intention) to open my bedroom door and enter my dream house and it worked. at this point in the dream i thought that entering the void must be super easy since i was already basically close and could have done it there if i wanted to BUT i chose to wake up because i wanted to enter the void when i actually knew for sure what i wanted my manifestations to be. i knew i was going to want a lot if i really thought about it and i also didn't want to actually look like someone else (my whole lucid dream i was more trying to test my imagination and build my confidence). the next day i started making a void state list and writing down everything i genuinely wanted for myself.

experiencing doubts: things started to go wrong after that hahah, after my first beginner's luck(?) experience i was struggling to lucid dream (even though i've always naturally been a lucid dreamer, the times it occurs is still random and i couldn't make them happen) and meditations were only getting me so close. all in all, over the past 2 months i had 5 failed lucid dreams and several close, but failed, meditation attempts. this instilled some doubts in me, especially the lucid dreams, because apparently once you lucid dream it's meant to be quite simple but when i would affirm for the void in my dreams i would just wake up or the dream would continue.

another thing that caused me to doubt the void was questioning some of the stories on here. most of them i initially don't believe anyway because it's known there's many liars in the community and there seems to be a trend of people posting void success stories in an attempt to enter to the void (to act as if it already happened) but they technically haven't in reality yet. that being said, i did have some blogs i mostly trusted and then one day one of the blogs i trusted answered an anonymous ask about a success story and it really looked like they sent it to themselves. the reason i thought this was because the op of the blog spells a commonly used word wrong all the time but it's not a spelling mistake people commonly make (in fact, i know no one who makes this spelling mistake) but then the anon that sent them the success story made the exact same spelling mistake. it made me worry that perhaps there were no true success stories because why was this person who supposedly mastered the void bothering with sending asks to themselves to validate their blog? i mean this was all speculation but it still caused me to think.

that being said again, i still basically believed, i just wavered a little, but i definitely believed enough to keep persisting (because why not?)

the success: finally, after almost 2 months i entered the void through a lucid dream. when i realised i was dreaming i tried to make myself stay super grounded in the dream but i also thought about not taking too long since i didn't want to wake up. i did this because i realised the very first night when i had my lucid dream, i didn't get excited and try immediately, i hung around in my dream for a while and just enjoyed things (as i explained). so i wandered around the dream a bit and just looked at things, touched things, tried to feel the temperature and take note of it and then when i felt calm and not too excited i closed my eyes and affirmed for the void and entered. when i got the void i just said "i have everything on my void list" (a few times to make sure) and then stated i was exiting the void state. the void feels how pretty much everyone describes, you just know it's happening and you are pure consciousness.

what i manifested: my void state list ended up being super long and i manifested a lot of personal things that i won't share, which is what i'm sure would be the same for most people, but i'll include a list of things that others might find interesting or encouraging:

desired appearance (including body, face, height etc)

money (i came up with a plan that of how it would make sense in my country to have acquired it)

got rid of my anxiety disorder (having this was probably the most debilitating part of my life, it's also why i know meditation never truly worked for me since i could never relax and it's crazy to feel not severely stressed constantly for the first time in my life)

got rid of my autoimmune disease and fixed my eyesight (i manifested being healthy overall in general)

feel comfortable instantly, i will no longer get too itchy, feel dirty after a long day, be too hot or too cold etc. (can't really attest to this one yet but i have felt no discomfort)

dream living space and whatever bed i sleep in to always be super comfortable

opinion on the void state: overall the point is that the void state is real and you can get anything you want, getting to the void is also easy but it's just about trying to go for it and not getting discouraged. i don't want to share too much of my opinion on this because i actually find it really toxic. some people will get mad if you say you "entered" or "got to" the void because you technically are always the void, and personally, i don't find these slight changes in language to be important unless you are very sensitive to it. for me, it doesn't matter if i think about the void as something i enter or something i am because i believe it exists and that's all i need to know at the end of the day. if you want to see it as something you are, or a state or anything else, i don't think it matters as long as you believe manifestation is possible, you are the creator of your reality, you get to decide what language or thought process works for you :)

common questions: i'm going to answer some question i feel like i will get if people find this post so i'm just going to answer them here. remember that these answers are just my opinion.

question: how come people don't manifest to end world hunger, for everyone to have money, to become the next "big thing", to be a real life superhero, for everyone to be happy etc. truthfully, i think people do manifest that but i don't think they stay in this reality. a lot of people think that using the void at all means you shift your reality, idk if i believe in that, but i would have to assume the people that use the void to manifest very extreme things ultimately have to shift realities. so this would mean the reason you're not seeing these results is because these people are no longer in this reality. if you pay attention i think you will also notice that most void success stories that seem to come from reliable sources (though this is still all personal judgement) seem to be rather humble, these people just manifest to be the prettier version of themselves, to live in a nice place, to be around good people and other similar things. i think people with mostly humble desires stay in this reality and people with more fantastical desires (to be the most famous person ever, to be a multibillionaire, world peace) go elsewhere.

question: why would someone even have humble desires? i can't speak for every single person but i think it's just the desire to stick to the familiar. we want better lives but also want to feel at "home" still, i wanted to still feel like ME. maybe it seems stupid and selfish but if we really are shifting realities every time then there really is no way to actually solve world hunger anyway, it will always exist in this reality even if you or i personally go to another one. at the end of the day, life isn't fair and i am just grateful to have discovered the void to live happily and am sharing this so you can too.

question: i'm worried about the wrong people finding out about the void state. honestly, me too! but i think this falls in line with my past two answers, if someone terrible happened to stumble upon this post and entered the void, i don't think they'd stay here, they will go to some other reality more likely, so i really don't think we have to worry about someone super evil getting to the void and doing something super heinous or whatever. but honestly i do understand the worry. at first when i discovered the void i thought i wouldn't share my success story once i entered because i wanted to keep the void as quiet as possible. but just remember two things: most people do not know about the void and if they do a lot of them will give up and not persist. second, someone really evil finding it will probably leave this reality (my theory).

question: why do people not show better proof. truthfully, i don't know, for me it's because i really do want to live a private life and a lot of stuff i manifested can't be proven anyway. if i show my bank account, it could be photoshop, if i show my new face it means nothing because i revised to always look this way, i can't prove i no longer have my autoimmune disease and the list goes on. i think people with more dramatic proof also want to maintain their privacy or go to other realities. perhaps there's even been people to show dramatic proof in this reality but they had to revise that they didn't because it was a mistake.

question: do you have any overall tips? just keep persisting. and personally, i think it's okay to try several methods at once. i know some people say if you try several then it "cancels out" like, if you try lucid dreaming and it doesn't work so you meditate it means you don't "believe" lucid dreaming can work for you so then that's why it takes you so long but i think you can just tell yourself "every method works for me so i will just keep persisting". another thing i recommend trying for a few days is setting your alarm to go off at different times so day 1 is 8am, day 2 is 7am, day 3 is 9am and so forth. each day set the intention to wake up BEFORE your alarm goes off, once you successfully start waking up a few minutes before your alarm everyday this is your tangible proof that your intentions are working. this isn't really a method but more so a confidence booster that worked for me to remind myself i'm in control and powerful. if you also try this i think after a few days you will feel more confident intending to lucid dream, for your meditations to work, for subliminals to work (whatever is your personal vibe) and you will get there easier hopefully!

question: did you ever do any official lucid dreaming methods. personally the only way i ever had a lucid dream was by intending before sleeping that i would lucid dream. but methods where you wake up by setting your alarm early and going back to sleep and stuff didn't work for me. i tried but due to my anxiety i would always wake up super alert or even stressed, so i could never relax enough. but they are successful for many people so there is no harm in trying.

#void state #void success #void success story #loa #law of assumption

[tochugesya]

my theories on kunikida’s childhood/backstory *·˚ ༘♡

kunikida is my favorite character (world shock) so i wanted to share my thoughts of it are taken from aspects i have annotated about him/he has said. these are theories!!! nothing confirmed. pd: i have taken some info from doppo kunikida’s irl life, asagiri has taken a lot of details of his life so i doubt he won’t now. please enjoy! :) i also apologize for any misspellings, english is not my first language.

1) kunikida & his family:

kunikida is one of the few characters that have confirmed families (as said in the mini novel kunikida & katai’s magnificent days), so the possibility of being an orphan is eliminated. it’s not mentioned if he has parents or not but he has a family. here are my options/theories abt his family

his dad/his mom (or both) work for the military/government. usually the “stick” personality is associated with having a military family, kunikida’s character trope (istj, moralist) fits in the “military family” stereotype and considering bsd has a lot of topics around the military (like the current arc), it’s a high possibility. this also explains kunikida’s hate of authorities (we will get into this later), and even if they’re not from the military they’re probably people with high prestige/on the traditional side (ex: the zenin’s in jjk).

on the opposite side, kunikida’s family are anti govt (anarchism). again this is mostly related to his authority hate. this also can be linked to the azure king (if you want me to elaborate please let me know!)

these are my main ideas. important to note that irl’s stepdad worked for the ministry of justice and was an ex samurai (which could connect him to one of the fukus). other small things i have noted:

kunikida cares a lot about reputation. maybe this need for the ada’s reputation to stay intact is a reflection of his family.

kunikida used to pass a lot of time with katai (more than with his own family) so they are probably busy people/weren't really present in his life

kunikida has a “motherly” behavior yet he has a strong personality that is usually linked with a strong patriarchal figure. i personally link this to the fact that kunikida’s household could have been more matriarchal. with this, kunikida could have conflicts with his mother possibly related to his idealism.

kunikida is the youngest child. don’t debate me on this.

kunikida’s family dedicates to save people’s lifes/bring justice to them. so he followed their footsteps in his own way.

2. kunikida’s young years

2.1) his possible relation to the great war:

(spoilers for bungo stray dogs manga chapters 65 and 66)

when you think about kunikida's potential childhood, most people assume he had the most "normal" childhood out of all of the ada members. however, kunikida could have (sadly) been involved similarly to how yosano was or in other ways. this section will be divided in two sections: kunikida doppo's irl relation to the sino japanese war (with a connection to irl mori) and kunikida and the usefulness of his ability in the war context.

kunikida doppo and the sino japanese war: for a little bit of context, the first sino japanese war (1894-1895) was a conflict between the japanese empire and china because both countries were looking for being the dominant influence in korea. in this time, multiple authors that were bsdfied participated as war correspondants with the exception of (surprise surprise) ogai mori, who enlisted in the japanese army as an army doctor.

kunikida doppo worked as a war correspondant along with his friend katai tayama in the sino-japanese war. there is no information about where kunikida worked in, but katai worked in taiwan in the same division as mori; this war correspondency was vital for kunikida's career, he got extremely popular due to his war journalism). both kunikida's (doppo and his brother shuuji) were disciples of soho tokutomi, a japanese historian and journalist; it was under him where he became a war correspondant, learnt german (similar to mori) and worked in the newspaper "Kokumin no Tomo" founded by soho, and where mori published "the dancing girl".

kunikida had a involvement in the russo-japanese war, but it's insignificant compared to his work in the sino japanese war. i put this in the post because, as mentioned, asagiri puts details from the irl's life in the story; this is not the reason why i believe he was in the great war, but it makes a little bit more possible.

as i keep rereading this arc, i noticed something yosano said that caught my attention:

doesn't this sound a little similar to mr. idealist "no one will die in front of me"? because it does to me. even if they don't mean the exact same thing, the general idea is the following: keeping people alive.

yosano truly values human life

kunikida's ability and his usefulness in the war:

here's why i believe kunikida may have been involved in the great war; his ability. kunikida's ability "doppo poet" consists of being able to create anything that comes from the notebook. kunikida's ability, even if doesn't look like a threat at first glance, it's a tricky one; if he wanted, he could use a bigger notebook he could summon bigger weapons (such a b0mbs, bigger guns) but he stays with a smaller notebook (which yes it's practical, but why would he use grenades when he could summon better weapons?)

kunikida, with a never ending pile of paper, could summon multiple useful weapons almost at the same time; for the great war, having someone that could create weapons in an instant is convenient. it's also important to remember that ability users' were searched at that time (+ mori's plan, that is explained in chapter 65 or 66).

but besides his ability, and with the past section focused on yosano's trauma and response due to going to the great war, it's not difficult to assume he could have been in a similar situation. kunikida's constant creation of weapons that killed people, that he didn't not want to do because he was a child, in front of him, with no way to stop it because he was forced to create those weapons and because he was a child... he couldn't save them all, kunikida's own experience as a child soldier/weapon during the great war, in this context, is why he's so attached to them, because he sees his little self in them, and in general, it may be possibly the main reason of ideals' being born, so “no one will die in front of me” is kunikida’s reaction to the cruelness of war, just like yosano’s (panel attached below) plus, kunikida's reaction to death is very emotional and raw, which is something that is not seen a lot in bsd (and it's one of his most important characteristics), and has been a theme around for a looong time now.

i wish i'm wrong in this one (please)

2.2) kunikida the rebel

as the name says (lol) kunikida could have been a rebel in high school as well. kunikida does not care about breaking laws (except the ones where he acts like a normal citizen). this could be the aftermath of years of trauma; it's not linked to why he is the way he is but is... more of a way to show he's not that much of a "stick"

ps: between all this mess, he met katai. i don't have a theory abt their meeting but i know those two find each other in the moment they needed it the most. :) following the war timeline, i think katai's family were also involved and they met when it finished and... trauma bonded (to put in blantly).

3. kunikida and the past (why does he not want to talk abt it?)

i want to dive into the most interesting part of kunikida's conversation abt his backstory. he does not want to talk about it.

there are multiple reasons this could be such as shame and trauma; i don't have an elaborate reason why (there could be MULTIPLE) but here are the ones i feel that are the most likely:

as i said before, kunikida could have been from a family of politicians and military members. as he's an idealist, and the topic of politicians and corruption could fit perfectly, he would want to disassociate himself from them.

> this doesn't have to be only abt having govt affiliated family btw. but just the idea that he doesn't want to associate himself with his family because they don't have the same ideals.

he got disowned. not much to mention here

trauma. again not a lot to say here.

rocky relationship with his family. or maybe they are just shitty people and doesn't want to be with them anymore.

othe stuff i have thought about is that kunikida is a liar. not exactly something possible considering ranpo should know by now but it’s still… there. it’s possible.

that's it! i hope you enjoyed. sorry if it's too long i love kunikida. :)♡ let me know what you think as well!

#kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #bungo stray dogs #kunikida thoughts all day #kunikida headcanons #kunikida my beloved #💭theories

[aquariclily]

🔞 Minors do not interact! 18+ only, & preferably 20+.

⠀General Roleplay Information!

All my blogs are listed here!

I personally prefer long RP stuff to be discussed through messages or Discord as I value OOC trust & communication. However, I'm good with filling in interest checkers as well.

I accept most inbox submissions, even for non-(Tumblr)roleplayers. But please don't expect for literally all inbox replies to turn into threads (though, you can ask.)

I can't consistently cut posts bc I'm generally on my phone & open Tumblr on the app.

I roleplay on both Tumblr & Discord. Discord RP's are a little more prioritized sometimes because it's more easy for me for short/more casual stuff. I'm open to try out other platforms if convenient.

NOTE: I am highly selective with my canons.

⠀Do Not Interact…

— DNI if your blog contains the following: Pedo/Incest/Bestiality/Anything Too Problematic (think of e.g. uncomfy~immoral/illegal taboo stuff, etc.) I really don't care what tf you're into - I just don't want to SEE these things on my dash. (Plus, I also don't want trouble.)

— OOC garbage behavior such as; Racism/Sexism/T.ERF/S.WERF/G.ender critical/M.AP/Z.oosexual/A.lt-right/Any discrimination or insensitivities to marginalized groups/etc. I will block that shit on sight.

— "Collectors". I block collectors on sight. I have terrible experiences with them. I usually block them on sight (for my mental health.) If you want your OC x Canon ship, you must offer double-up or leave me alone. Find some other blog.

— I'll repeat: No minors. Roleplay is for 18+ only, 20+ is preferred (not mandatory. This is because I'm 30+.) However, minors are free to follow my blog(s) if they are SFW. It's just that I don't want to roleplay with them.

— If I blocked you: Don't fucking block evade me!!

Notes: I block very liberally to curate my Tumblr Experience™ (it usually means that I just don't want to interact so don't take a block too personal) & it would be too laboring to fully elaborate on every small thing that just bothers me. (Along on how a lot of people on this website lack basic reading comprehension… not worth it. 🗿)

If you read this. Please don't worry about me blocking you out of the blue, I usually (kindly) confront people if we're mutuals for a while.

I admit that I suffer from trauma (C-PTSD) so curating my experience is very important. I don't want to list my specific triggers because it can be used against me but it's in the range of taboo/extreme stuff (what's in my DNI.)

⠀RP Do's…

— Just wing it. Don't get intimidated, I like casual RP's on Tumblr too. Don't worry too much about length/detail.

— Try to read the Blog/Muse Info's. Not mandatory, but it would be nice. This post is just the general RP rules (hence, it's posted on my main.)

— Be patient. Acknowledge that there is an actual PERSON behind the screen. I am not an AI. Don't treat me like one. I have my preferences, & prefer to stick in my comfort zone. And sometimes I get busy. Sometimes, I just want to do different things. Sometimes, I'm just too tired, moody, sick, or whatever reason. You can ask what's up when in doubt, though. It's fine. I'm just saying that I have a life, my preferences, and that I need my rest.

— Talk OOC, plot stuff, discuss dynamics between our muses, etc. I may fill in interest checkers but I personally prefer to work through messages. Interest checkers don't really work for me on my canons so I no longer do that. I value good OOC communication. This is how you get things done with me.

— If there is a problem, talk it out. Let's acknowledge that we're human and being humans means that we're flawed and we all can have our bad days; I want to keep my mind open and hear you out.

— Give attention, show some excitement; I gravitate to those who seem most interested & express it. Don't worry about ♥/reblog-spam lol, I don't mind. I like the attention.

— Come up with ideas. Talk about our muses & world-building. You could never ever bother me with genuine interest & passion. Passionate writers are admirable.

— If you struggle with coming up with ideas: Ask! I will not mind if you ask, because that indicates that you're interested! Which is a good thing. I'll gladly brainstorm for you.

— Drop threads & start new ones if you lost muse. It's fine.

— Take a break if you need it! ♥

⠀RP Don'ts…

And I can't stress it enough.

— Don't be weird. Respect my boundaries. I am very tired.

— Don't sexualize/romance the muses that are minors or child-coded.

— Don't godmod. Don't try to control my muse without my consent.

— Don't expect me to ship something if we haven't discussed it. Also don't be a jerk if I say "No". I'm still selective. Don't demand me to do double up for ships if I don't see you demand it to others & don't see it in your BYI/RP Rules. (It's unfair to put a double standard to me.)

— Don't disrespect my wishes and preferences in roleplays. I am not an AI that is willing to write literally everything. Don't get mad if my muse isn't going to act the way you want them to. Don't guilt trip me for retiring muses: My muse for things isn't going to stay the same forever.

— Don't pressure me to write things I'm not (or no longer) interested in. When in doubt, just ask. If you don't ask; I guess you'll just stay in doubt then! Sorry.

— Don't make OOC vagueposts & stuff like that. It makes me nervous and worry if it's about me. I also will raise a brow at you if you give OOC drama more attention than roleplay, this can result into me confronting you or even unfollowing you if we're not close enough. Outside that: I actually DO support callouts of genuinely shitty & problematic people with actual/proper evidence! I'd rather not want to end up interacting with e.g. someone who's predatory or weird around minors.

— Don't be afraid to message me!! I'd love to talk.

Discord…

— Feel free to message me for my Discord if interested. Be sure to have some clear information about yourself somewhere before I add you!

— My status often says that I'm "offline". I want to reply at my own pace.

— Even on Discord, I take my breaks.

⠀⠀♡ this post to confirm that you've read the "General Roleplay Information"!

— Message me if there are any questions! Don't be shy if you don't understand some things.

#rp rules

[roo-bastmoon]

Reliable real-time translators

I speak some Japanese and very little French, but I know barely a word of Korean and I'm nosy... so when our boys do Lives, I like to try to follow along by using notifications on certain real-time Twitter translators whom I find to be reliable*.

I'm listing the real-time translator accounts I know of here in case anyone else finds it useful. Please also feel free to comment if you know of others--but read below for the types of accounts I cannot in good faith promote, okay?

SEL and also SEL but for WeVerse stuff

MIINIYOONGS

YOONSEO

KOO PICASSO

CLAIRE

CHARTS K

BANGTAN SUBS

Use this list at your own discretion.

*Please note: I am not a cancel-culture type of person. I'm a Gen Xer and I highly value independent critical thinking skills. I will never throw stones, nor do I typically grab a torch or pitchfork and go after someone in public.

If you're a fascist, racist, sexist, any kind of queerphobic, an anti, a manti, hate on a member, or are a rabid cult member, I will quietly report and block you and then just turn my attention to what I want out of life, not what I don't. (When I say anti, I'm also including people who post sasaeng-type content that endangers our members.)

But I do sometimes follow people I don't agree with, because I don't want to live in an echo chamber. I'm not out to police people--not their thoughts or ships or personal lives. I also allow for people to make mistakes and have flaws, because that's how humans learn, and it's especially commendable if they apologize and are working on changing.

You have to demonstrate to me the active will to lie or cause harm for me to completely reject you--and once I do that, we're done done. So please know, I am very, very careful about how I judge others. Because...

Why am I telling you this?

Because some of these translators post hurriedly and make mistakes, or they mishear, or they have to work or study and cannot always translate for all 7 members every hour of the day. Sometimes they just get it wrong. And I can absolutely forgive that. They are providing a free service, they always apologize for errors, and I know to do my due diligence and get translations from many sources, because Korean is nuanced and tonal and therefore open to some interpretation. Whenever there's a doubt, I ask a native Korean.

What I won't tolerate is a translator picking fights with native speakers, being rude to questioners, or skewing a translation in favor of their ship (or not-ship). Nor will I follow a translator who has hinted at disliking a member, no matter how far back in their past. That's where I draw my lines.

But some folks listed above may be problematic for you. That's cool. If you want to DM me with evidence of intentional wrongdoing, I will listen with an open mind and decide if I need to stop following them or listing them here. But so far, I've been following these folks for months--many of them have been systematically attacked by the cult specifically because they love Jimin or view Jikook positively. They get absolutely railroaded if they get a single phrase wrong and ratioed as antis or liars sometimes. And I'm sorry, but I know from working as an editor of translated novels back in the day, translation is HARD.

Please do your due diligence and police your own internet experience. I cannot judge for you what you find acceptable. There are big accounts that translate but also post hotel info and flight info and photos of the Tannies' homes and family and friends and vacations and rumors and if that sets right with you, that's your business. It's human to be curious and I'm not trying to be judgey, because I've honestly been curious about some of that stuff too, but that's not a loving way to be an ARMY and I'm not gonna promote those accounts.

I will say that in my experience, all humans are flawed, all money is dirty, and all life is about compromise. It's always good to ask people where they stand before making assumptions. Text errors I can forgive; malintent I cannot.

At the end of the day, people who translate with good intentions genuinely amaze me and have my respect.

It's totally fine by me if you don't agree. But don't bring drama to this post. People who bring drama will be forced to ride the drama llama, you hear?

Love, Roo

[thedilucharem]

“There’s No Way Master Diluc DOESN’T Have a Harem!” (The 20 Follower Special: Part I)

As of late, everyone in Mondstadt and their mothers have been taking notice of Diluc's new 'companions', and as such, these murmurs affect certain people accordingly. Naturally, chaos ensues.

Part II

(Also known as 'This is unintentionally the greatest inside joke of all time'.)

Note: It gets wild, as there is a copious amount of discussion concerning harems and their functions. Watch out, because different types of people have different types of opinions. Also, this and the next part was mostly written before the 2.8 event of ‘Hidden Strife’, so the new info concerning Diluc in particular isn’t really in play here.

One busy day, Charles was working his usual shift while two regulars sat in their usual spot with their usual drinks and their usual topic of conversation, which is usually alcohol.

Nelson: (takes a deep drink of wine) (satisfied) Ahh, good stuff! This year's brew's really good this time around, eh?

Payne: (knocks his tankard against Nelson's) Absolutely. It's the right kind of smooth with just the right amount of sweet. The brewmaster really knocked this one out of the park!

Nelson: (nods) Mhm! That Master Diluc really knows his stuff.

Payne: Ain't no doubt about that . . . (pauses) Speaking of which . . . you remember Devil's Rampage, right?

Nelson: (shudders) As one would remember a violent bout of the runs, yes. It wasn't my thing. Too sugary. (thoughtfully) The younger folks liked it a lot, but I really liked the Amber-Kissed Jade that came out at the same time.

Payne: Ehh, it was fine, but nothing to write home about. (wistfully) But that Salty Sea Breeze . . .

Nelson: (sighs with nostalgia) Oh yeah, that was definitely a drink to have at least once in your life. And with the salt, too!

Payne: I'd love it if he brought it back . . .

Nelson & Payne: Mmmmm . . .

The two of them share a contented silence.

Payne: Master Diluc really knows how to make them. But. (slowly) We can both agree that Shimmering Scales was a goddamn cup of diabetes, right?

Nelson: (nods quickly in agreement) Oh, absolutely.

Payne: The sweetness nearly killed my taste buds the day after.

Nelson: (rubs his jaw) I felt my tooth ache for the first time in about two years.

Payne: (decidedly) Was not a fan of that one.

Nelson: I still don't know how it sold out so quickly.

Payne: Maybe it’s just us. (laughs a little) The kids loved it though.

Nelson: (chuckles) Yeah, they were guzzling it like we do with wine, my kid included.

Payne: (shrugs) Then again, we’ll try just about any drink Master Diluc makes, won't we?

Nelson: (simply) Yup.

Charles was simply cleaning a table adjacent to the two men when he happened to overhear the start of some very interesting conversation.

Payne: (perks up, remembering something) And speaking of quality drinks! (leans closer to Nelson, whispering) A couple of buddies of mine in the alcohol business say that Dandelion's Honey is coming back for another brew!

Nelson: What, seriously? (excitedly) Hell yeah! (suddenly stops) But why? (confused) I thought that Dandelion’s Honey was a 'we're only doing this once and you'll never see it again' kind of thing.

Payne: I thought so too, but . . . (looks around, spots Charles and is calmed) (scoots closer to Nelson) (whispers) The more I think about it, the more it makes sense that certain things are uh, happening.

Nelson: (confused) (whispers back) What do you mean?

Payne: (low) You know, I don't gossip or do anything like that, but my wife and her friends talk at lunch every other day or two after their kids leave for school. Sometimes, I overhear a little bit of what they're saying, and this time around, I hear a thing or two - allegedly - about Master Diluc's more eccentric approach to certain . . . personal relations.

They’re not quiet. They think they’re being quiet, but they’re really not that quiet. 

Nelson: (raises his eyebrows, curious) Meaning?

Payne: (strokes his beard) Well . . . it's kinda happening around the same time the guys are talking about Dandelion's Honey coming back.

Nelson: (squints, confused) Payne, those are two very different things that really have no business going together-

Payne: (shushes him) Listen! I thought the same thing as you when I heard it the first few times, but about two weeks ago in the evening when you left for home and Master Diluc was working the bar, I was about to leave too when the most intimidating woman I've ever seen in my life walked in like she owned the damn place. 

Nelson: (disbelieving) Mhm.

Payne: (starting) She looked like she could tear you apart with her bare hands, had a giant sword strapped to her back. A really big eyepatch on the left side of her face. (shudders) Truly a scary woman.

Nelson: (flatly) And?

Payne: She goes up to the bar and then starts getting friendly with Master Diluc. Real friendly. And when she goes to order and pay for her drink . . . (hisses) he says that the drinks are on the house!

Nelson: . . . really? So what if they were on the house?

Payne: (protests, getting out of his seat and leaning closer) Nelson, when have you seen anyone, from that Sister from the Church, to the Knights, and even to that bard with his tab, get drinks for free?

Nelson: (leans back into his chair) Maybe she paid a tab in advance.

Payne: (looks at him intensely) Who pays for fifteen drinks in advance? And also, I ain’t never seen someone get that close to him like that. Not once. 

Nelson: (heavily skeptical) So you really think that she's paying him with . . . something else?

Payne: (nods eagerly)

Nelson: (rubs the bridge of his nose and sighs) Please. If there's anything he's seeing to that way, it's his work. He hardly has eyes for anything else, really! (concerned) I feel you've had a bit too much to drink, Payne.

Payne: (suddenly sits back down, takes a deep long drink) (looks Nelson straight in the eye, deathly quiet) Then explain the three men that get free drinks as well.

Charles regrets being within earshot of this.

Nelson: (confused) Who are you even talking about? (throws his hands up) They must be night drinkers, cause I ain’t never seen ‘em around here or anywhere else in Mond before.

Payne: (insistent) Remember hearing about the Snezhnayan that got blacklisted from every tavern (coughs) except this one (coughs) and the two guys that went up Dragonspine?

Nelson: (incredulously) Them? (scoffs) You’re kidding. As if Master Diluc would know, let alone associate with people who are that stupid. 

Payne: (protests) I’ve seen them all in here with Master Diluc and they all get their drinks for free, I swear!

Nelson: . . . okay, yes, but-

Payne: (worked up) No, you listen to me! How in the everloving hell is he, Master Diluc, gonna have a guy that looks like he could kill you with only his eyes, another guy whose voice has people falling to their knees in the streets, a pirate who could crush someone's skull with her biceps, and a man literally larger than life get free drinks from him-

Nelson: (shushes him) Are you hearing yourself, man? You can't seriously be telling me that they're all paying him with sex?

Payne: (crosses his arms and exhales sharply) You said it yourself earlier! A man like him is dedicated to his work all the time, but as such, it only makes sense that he's just as focused if not moreso when it comes to his pleasure. (lowers his voice) And I'm not one to judge as this is the City of Freedom, but the big horned one in that fit of his practically looks like the type to give him that!

Charles really regrets being within earshot of this.

Nelson: (blinks once) (tiredly) Okay, that's a lot. (drinks heavily, before saying) (attempts) Payne, haven't you considered that . . . they're his friends?

Payne: (deadpans) When was the last time anyone in Mond has seen or talked about him doing anything other than work?

Nelson: (sighs heavily) Well, he certainly isn’t known to socialize or whatever. (freezes) (snaps his fingers) Wait just a minute . . . pfft. 

Payne: (cocks his head to the side) Huh? 

Nelson: (thoughtfully) You might have a bit of a point after all! I just remembered something.

Payne: (simmers down a bit) What?

Nelson: So . . . remember that time Master Diluc was gone for like six months for business?

Payne: (hesitantly) Yeah, yeah I do. It was a pretty big deal to the Wine Guild.

Nelson: Well, we both know that he doesn't half-ass anything, as we do drink all of his brews. We wouldn’t be drinking them if they weren’t the best of the best.

Payne: (chuckles lightly) Yeah, I can drink to that. (raises his tankard)

Nelson: So why would he do that with anything else?

Payne: . . . What's your point? (takes a drink)

Nelson: (confidently) There's no way that he would pay for something he'd get regardless anyway!

You know that point in your thought process where there’s a clear feeling in the depths of your subconsciousness telling you to turn back? He just ignored it.

Payne: (spits out his drink) (quickly) Nelson, you're drunk-

Nelson: (holds his hands out) No, no not that, Payne! Six months away on a trip to Liyue and then Inazuma? If what you’re saying is even half right, then he was probably tending to them with the same level of care that he does with his business dealings. (suggestively) He is practically married to his work, isn’t he?

Payne: (eyes widen slightly) So he's giving away drinks out of (chokes) love?

Nelson: (claps his hands together) You said it yourself, Payne! You work harder, you play that much harder, and he is no exception to that. (shrugs) It is the City of Freedom and I personally have never heard of it being illegal to love or marry more than one person. 

Payne: (mouth slowly opens) He has . . . a . . .

Nelson: Harem? Yes. Allegedly. (pauses, then blinks) (blearily whispers to himself) I really just logicked myself through that.

Payne: (jaw properly drops) (weakly) It makes too much sense . . . (puts his head into his hands) By Barbatos, my wife and her friends are starting to make sense . . .

Nelson: (yells across the room) Charles, another round! (numbly) We need it.

Charles: (briskly walks over) (slams two bottles of wine on the table) Have those. On the house. (quickly walks away)

As the two men rejoice in their new-found luck and gladly talk about the two bottles of wine, Charles contemplates asking for time off and a large drink to forget what he just heard while a small green-clad bard in the far corner of the space chuckles to himself, amused. 

Venti: (giggles to himself) Out of all the things Mondstadt can come up with, it had to be that . . . (takes a long drink of his wine) (snorts loudly) If Master Diluc having a harem is what brings that lovely Dandelion's Honey back for a season or two, then so be it! (dissolves into gut-wrenching hysterics)

Funny enough, at around the same time in the chamber in Favonius Cathedral, a few nuns chat about strange rumors that they've heard throughout the day.

Victoria (ponders) I never took a Ragnvindr to be a purveyor of polygamy, let alone have a harem.

Jilliana: (chides) Come now, Sister Victoria. I don't know where you heard such a baseless rumor, but I'm sure that the man does not have a harem.

Victoria: (tartly) I hear truly vile things in the confessional booth, Sister Jilliana. I know what people are like and it does not surprise me whatsoever that this is entirely possible. It has happened in the past, no?

Jilliana: (considers) Yes, it has, but Master Diluc does not seem like the type from what I've heard about him.

Victoria: (cynically) That's how it starts at first, but then, slowly but surely, you see them for the sinners they are.

Barbatos, take the wheel.

Jilliana: Even if he has a harem to begin with, which I highly doubt, are you suggesting that a harem is against our Lord Barbatos and his will, Sister Victoria? There's nothing that says it outright, is there?

Victoria: (coldly) Is it not enough that the nobles of old indulged in such base and decadent activities while the whole of Mondstadt suffered such grief under the loss of their freedom as they did so with ceaseless abandon and not a care in the world? And as such, does that not make it a sin in itself?

Grace: (walks up to them, protesting) Goodness gracious, you two! As much as I can see where the both of you are coming from, what is it to say that this is even something we need to worry ourselves about! (definitively) If this matter is up to so much debate, then pray to our Lord Barbatos as to allow it to be revealed unto us.

Jilliana: (gratefully) Amen.

Victoria: (neutrally) Praise Barbatos for that.

Grace: Now, I believe that there is something we ought to be preparing for in a few days' time, so I suggest that we deal with some of that first to get a head start.

Victoria & Jilliana: (nods in agreement)

Grace: Speaking of which, have any of you seen Sister Rosaria anywhere?

Jilliana: (shakes her head apologetically) I'm afraid not, Sister Grace.

Victoria: (plainly) Could we have seen her anywhere, Sister Grace?

Grace: (sighs) I suppose you do have a point. Well, come along.

As the three women leave, the nun in question peaked out from behind a pillar and quickly left the cathedral proper, hopefully before anyone managed to catch up and drag her back.

Rosaria: (chuckles to herself as she muses) Master Diluc Ragnvindr with a harem . . . (shakes her head mirthfully) How ridiculous. And yet, it's not beyond the realm of possibility . . . (holds back her laughter) How'd people come to that conclusion-

Barbara: (seemingly out of nowhere) Sister Rosaria!

As if Barbara would let her slip away that easily.

Rosaria: (groans internally) (coldly) What do you want?

Barbara: (cheerfully) You know we have that special service, right? Sister Grace wants all of us to pitch in and-

Rosaria: (looks her in the eyes) Why did you think I would care if I didn't even bother to show up to begin with?

Barbara: (stutters a bit) But-

Rosaria: (sighs) Look. They probably need you to help out as the Deaconess or whatever, so you should get going on that instead of wasting your time on trying to get me to do it.

Barbara: (begins to protest before sighing) I suppose you're right. (suddenly perks up) Also! What about Master Diluc were you talking about earlier?

Rosaria: (deadpans) Barsitobas is completely okay with polygamy, but it’s not like he could sustain one marriage successfully, let alone more than that.

Barbara: (shocked) . . . what?

Rosaria: (walks off, saying) You heard what I said. (waves dismissively) You’d best get going to that special service you were talking about.

Barbara: (watches Rosaria leave, frozen) (blinks once) (mutters to herself) Sister Rosaria isn't wrong about polygamy, really . . . but what does Master Diluc have to do with it? (walks off in a thoughtful daze)

A few hours after that in the Grandmaster's office at the Ordo Favonius Headquarters, Jean happens across a strange letter on her desk while she, Lisa, and Kaeya are trying to file the paperwork for Klee's most recent bout of public damages.

Jean: (scribbling something on a pad before sticking it onto a pile of documents) Alright, those are all done. (looks at the other, bigger pile in front of the other one) (sighs) And this still has to be done.

Lisa: (stares at said bigger pile) Oh dear. (yawns) Just looking at all that paperwork is enough to make me wanna take a nap.

Kaeya: (sorting through a swathe of documents on the ground) (tuts) Honestly, why does the Logistics branch needs all of this paperwork anyway?

Lisa: (stretches in her chair) You'd be better off asking the angry merchants that had to reroute their trading caravans. (looks at the clock, then turns to Jean) I think we've been at this for long enough to allow for a break, don't you think, sweetheart?

Jean: (grumbles while looking at a piece of paper) We haven't even gotten through half of this paperwork yet. (looks at the clock as well) Mm. (ponders and sighs) I suppose a small break would be alright . . .

Kaeya: Ah, thank goodness! (dramatically flops onto the ground, scattering a few papers) I thought my other eye was going to fall out.

Jean: (exasperated) Sir Kaeya, was that really necessary? (gets up to start collecting the scattered papers) Now I have to rearrange them all again . . . (spies a letter) Hm? What's this?

The letter, previously buried in the paperwork, is stamped with a wax seal, one with her family's crest pressed on it.

Jean: (shocked) Huh.

Lisa: Hmm? (sees the letter) (hums coyly) I see, I'll get the tea started. (gets up and leaves the room in a hurry)

Kaeya: (teasing) Oooh, what is it? (rolls into a sitting position) Anything interesting?

Jean: (confused and somewhat flustered) I honestly don't know. I almost never get letters with this stamp on them unless it's for very important matters.

Kaeya: (gets up and stretches, audibly cracks some of his spine) Mmm. (curious) Do you think it has anything to do with the state of the Knights as a whole?

Jean: (shakes her head definitively) No. This is most certainly concerning my clan and immediate family.

Kaeya: (walks over and peers over her shoulder) Well what are you waiting for? We are reading this, aren't we?

Lisa: (comes in with a teapot floating next to her and carrying a few saucers and cups delicately in her hands) Now, now, Sir Kaeya, I believe that matters of this kind are best discussed over a nice cup of tea. (lays out the saucers and cups on a free space on Jean's desk)

Kaeya: (raises his eyebrow in Lisa's direction) Are you implying that we may need it?

Lisa: (laughs lightly as she pours the tea) Why of course!

After a few moments in which the tea is prepped, poured, and sampled, Lisa and Kaeya huddle around the respective sides of their Grand Master as Jean breaks the seal on the envelope and opens the letter.

Jean: (muttering and scanning the letter) Okay, that makes sense . . . yes things are fine . . . wait. (pauses, then rereads) (reddens suddenly with shock) What?!

Lisa: (places a hand over her own mouth) (raises her eyebrows scandalously) Oh my, Master Jean. Who'd have thought that this would be of interest to your family?

Kaeya: (rereading the damning lines over and over again) Pfft. (ducks his head down, shaking with disbelieving laughter)

Jean: (still red, confused) I . . . I don't even know what to think right now.

One line in particular reads: "While I understand that this suggestion may be unorthodox to you, I would very much like you to consider this possibility for the sake of Mondstadt in the future. Perhaps you would become one of the more popular consorts as you know him best. Regardless, I believe that becoming a member of his harem isn't the worst idea in the world."

Lisa: (slowly) Dear, are you alright? You look like you're about to fall over.

Kaeya: (barely recovering) Jean? (waves his hand in front of Jean's face) Are you still with us?

Jean: (blinks before covering her face with her hands) (muffled) Mother said it was for the sake of Mondstadt . . . but what in the fresh hell . . .

Lisa: Hmm, I think you may need some time to process, don't you think?

Jean: (weakly, still muffled) Did Barbara get the same letter too? (lifts her head, her face a lighter pink) Klee blows up another mountaintop and now this too . . . (sighs deeply)

Lisa: (gently tugs Jean out of her seat) Mmm, I think you can leave that for a little while, dear. (leading her out the door) Maybe you can settle down and have your first proper meal of the day, yes? 

Jean: (nods complacently, temporarily incapacitated in the mind) That sounds good right now. 

Lisa: I thought so. (turns towards the clock) Oh, and would you look at that, it’s almost time for lunch! 

Kaeya: (musing) So it is. (stretches his back) I’m in the mood for something filling. Perhaps some pizza from Cat’s Tail?

Lisa: (nods) That sounds delicious right about now. What say you, dear?

Jean: (more lucid than before) Sure.

Lisa: Alright then! (gently shoves her out the door) You can go ahead and go on ahead of us. We’ll be right along in a few moments.

With a remarkably uncharacteristic lack of resistance, Jean actually goes on to do just that, leaving Lisa and Kaeya alone in the office. 

Lisa: (turns to Kaeya) That was a very interesting thing to hear at this point in the day, don’t you think?

Kaeya: Hmmm. (grabs the letter and looks through it again) I knew that the rumor mill was at work as of late, but this is certainly beyond my expectations. (examines the letter closely) The letter doesn’t look fake. (hands the letter to Lisa) 

Lisa: (takes the letter, closely examining it) There’s no enchantments or anything of that nature that I can sense. (shrugs) For all intents and purposes, it’s legitimate.

Kaeya: (thoughtfully) I can’t say that I saw something like this coming. I mean, come on, Lisa. Really? A harem? It even sounds ridiculous to say out loud!

Lisa: (puts her free hand over her mouth, trying not to giggle) I mean, you do remember that one case with the hermit on the outskirts of town? It’s not outside of the realm of possibility. 

Kaeya: (cryptically) So it would seem . . .

Lisa: (folds the letter and sets it down) I genuinely don’t know what to make of this.

Kaeya: That makes two of us. (pats his belly) Mmm, I’m starving. I’m think I’ll go and grab myself a slice or two. 

Lisa: (nods in agreement) Me too. Besides, there’s no use in pondering this on an empty stomach anyway.

As Lisa turns to leave, Kaeya deftly nabs the letter from the desk and tucks it into his coat, making it seem as he simply forgot to note something down in the paperwork, only to act under the pretense of quickly catch up with Lisa and striking up idle chatter on their way to Cat’s Tail.

Meanwhile at the Dawn Winery, Diluc himself sits in front of a running fireplace, sorting through his mail.

Diluc: (to himself) A business proposal . . . (sets it aside) another business proposal . . . oop. Marriage proposal. (casually tosses it into the fireplace) Another marriage proposal from the same guy? Tch. (throws that into the fireplace) 

If you think this is a lot, it’s nothing compared to the spam that the servants have to sort through first. After that initial pile is cleared, Diluc notices a crisp, clean letter with a seal on it.

Diluc: Hmm? (looks at the letter) (holds it up to the light) Huh. (opens the envelope) What would the Lawrence Clan want to do with me? 

He reads the letter. He blinks once, twice. Then he slowly crumples up the letter in his hand, his Vision’s heat setting the paper alight in his grasp until it is naught but embers gently floating away. 

Diluc: (gets up from the plush chair, briskly walking towards a desk of sorts) (under his breath) The audacity of these people and their customs- (gets a paper and quill and sits at the seat at the desk) (flushed an overwhelming beet red) Is this some kind of joke?

After stewing for the better part of an hour and ruminating over what he had just read, a portion of Diluc’s response to the letter would read: “I will have to decline this offer as I am most certainly not accepting ‘applications’ or anything of the sort, nor is there any ‘selection process’ involved with anything in relation to having a harem as I can assure you wholeheartedly that I do not have a harem.”

Diluc: (gets up from the desk and walks over to the chair he was in previously) Hmph. (seals his letter in an envelope with wax and sets it aside to the letters to be taken out for mail) How ridiculous.

As the day progresses, Diluc tries to forget that he ever read the letter to begin with and does his best to not think of if this absurdity had reached the ears of others, as he was to take the night shift. Unfortunately for him, it had managed to reach the last person that he wanted it to, and she feels the exact same way.

Back at the Ordo Favonius headquarters, Amber attempts to console a thoroughly vexed and angered Eula Lawrence.

Amber: (visibly concerned) Eula-

Eula: (angrily sets the crumpled letter onto her desk) The absolute nerve of this! (furiously) The Lawrence Clan seeks to try and welcome me back in just to marry me off to some suitor for the sake of ‘the greater good of the family’? (sneers) Hah! (hisses under her breath) My goodness I’m so mad, I think I could spit right now.

Amber: (hesitantly) Eula . . . 

Eula: (darkly) Oh, I will not have any simple ‘vengeance’ for this egregious smear against my character and continuously tarnished reputation. No, I will have my retribution. (stops her rant) (closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath in and out) I haven’t even read the vile thing in it’s entirety. (hangs her head)

A beat of uncomfortable silence follows, Amber then taking a deep breath and crossing the space between her and her friend, placing her hand on her shoulder as a sign of comfort.

Amber: (worried) Hey, Eula? 

Eula: (quietly) Yes?

Amber: Are you alright?

Eula: (sighs) I apologize for that outburst. (bitterly) I am to be composed and level-headed at all times. (harsh laughter) This is unbecoming of me-

Amber: (gently) Hey, you don’t need to be sorry or anything. I didn’t ask what you thought about it, I asked if you were alright.

Eula: (looks toward Amber) (shakes her head) No, no I am not. 

Amber: (sees the letter out of the corner of her eye) Mmm. (starts to rub Eula’s back) You know, it’s perfectly okay to get worked up over something. In fact, I get worked up over things too! You know how I can get telling you about certain things, right?

Eula: (nods in agreement) 

Amber: And I always feel better after. So let me return the favor! (pats her back comfortingly) I’m all ears and ready to hear about my good buddy’s troubles and do the best I can to help you. (sincerely) I’m listening.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. This is making me feel something too.

Eula: (takes a deep breath and finally relaxes) It’s just . . . I’m the one that left and then they disowned me afterward. It doesn’t make any logical sense for my family members to simply take me back. Not that I’m going back anyway.

Amber: (hums in thought) 

Eula: (shrugs) Things of this nature have happened in the past in my clan’s history, but it was usually for estranged relatives and distant family members with whatever bloodline they had. Never for something like this. 

Amber: Okay . . . so did they say why do they want you back exactly?

Eula: (furrows her brows) I didn’t finish reading that part of the letter, but I do know that they want me to participate in an arranged marriage, which is detestable in of itself.

Amber: (frowns at that) I definitely agree with you on that. You should marry whoever you like! (quickly adds) Or not, you don’t have to get married at all! (exasperated at herself) Ugh. What I’m saying is that it should be your choice. 

Eula: (nods in agreement) Yes. (looks at her fondly) As I am personally feeling much better now, make no mistake that I shall repay this act one hundredfold.

Amber: (grins brightly) Great! (gives her an affectionate side-hug) I’m glad that you feel better! (looks toward the letter) So . . . do you wanna read the rest of this letter together then or leave it alone?

Eula: (tenses, then relaxes at the physical contact) (hesitantly) I would like to see if I could get through the rest of it. I have the funny feeling that context will matter in this particular case. (sits down and picks up the letter)

Amber: (drops the sidehug only to peek at the letter over her shoulder) Okay, let’s see here . . .

The rest of the letter effectively reduces Eula to a state of quiet shock.

Amber: (blinks) (quickly rereads the letter again) (candidly) Eula, this has to be some sort of joke or something. (disbelieving laugh) There’s no way that this is real.

Eula: (looks numbly ahead) It’s very real, unfortunately. Which is precisely why (nimbly plucks the letter from Amber’s hand) I never got the letter in the first place.

Amber: (immediately confused) Huh? But you-

Eula: (gets up from her seat, folding the letter) I’m going to take this and go to Angel’s Share tonight. (plainly) Depending on who or what started this utter nonsense, I may or may not have my due vengeance upon them all.

Amber: (skeptically) I dunno . . . this still seems pretty fishy to me. I mean, come on! Who in their right mind would genuinely believe that and who would have said it to have so many people just accept it like that? 

Eula: I don’t know, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it. (chuckles darkly) The whole of Mondstadt, enthralled by a rumor that sounds reasonable out of the mouths of the right people . . . how laughable.

Amber: (sighs heavily) I can’t even really wrap my head around this . . .

Eula: (frankly) And you don’t have to. (haughtily lifts her nose in indignation) Anyone that believes that I would willingly bind myself to the heir of the Ragnvindr clan clearly have no idea what they’re talking about.

As the day fades into evening, the setting of Angel’s Share is primed and ready for quite the show as the playing characters cast prepare to descend upon the stage and give one of the most compelling performances of their lives in hopes of answering one burning question: 

Does Diluc Ragnvindr actually have a harem?

---

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. This is only the first part. To be fair, it got derailed and long relatively quickly because as some of you know, I have no self control. From where I was before I made the split, this was well over 10k, and as I went on, I found that this had become two distinct acts, so I treated it accordingly.  

Stan Nelson & Payne, the real MVPs of this special. NPCs in general deserve more love.

Okay, look, I don’t know why it is that in my mind Eula deserves nothing but good things and happiness! Don’t ask me where the hurt/comfort is coming from because your guess is as good as mine. I genuinely hope that the characterization of Eula opening up and dropping her usual demeanor just a tiny little bit with her best bud was good because that’s one of my favorite parts I wrote.

I feel like Kaeya’s characterization is always gonna be a little ‘ehh’ anyway. I’m no good at sussing out half-truths in real life and here I am trying to write them LMAO. Lisa is Lisa and Jean is perpetually Tired™ so take that as you will.

And to be honest, I understand that Diluc keeps a good majority of his mail in canon, but why would he keep proposals when that’s the furthest thing from his mind at the moment? It’s not like the families are going to just stop existing relatively anyway and decide to not bother him. They’re pretentious pricks that way. 

Also, after I made the announcement of this little thing, I went from 20 followers to 26! So thanks for stopping by and I hope you had a great time with what I’ve wanted to write for quite a while now.

#the diluc harem #long post #nelson #payne #charles #venti #victoria #jilliana #grace #rosaria #barbara #jean #lisa #kaeya #diluc #amber #eula #angel's share #favonius cathedral #ordo favonius #dawn winery #mondstadt #diluc harem au

[scottpetersen]

My What-If Injustice 2 Disney Character Endings

Ok. Here I’ll be going over the endings certain Disney characters I’ve selected might have if they were in the Injustice 2 video game. Since Injustice 2 has different endings based on different characters and also has DLCs that allow the player to play as characters from other franchises like, for example, Raiden, I figured this would be appropriate. With that out of the way, let’s dive right in.

Anne: After Brainiac got taken down, I knew that I had to leave restoring the cities to Batman and the others. I’m just a 13-year-old girl, after all. And this is a world of comic book characters. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t help them in another way. I helped Batman’s team beat baddies that were still on the loose. I also helped with morale support. I was able to get some of them to realize that overworking themselves will only get them to burn out. Anyway, I eventually got back to my world. You wouldn’t believe how excited Marcy was when I told her I was in a world full of comic book characters. And Sasha said she wanted to try her therapy skills on Batman. Well, it was all definitely an adventure and a half.

Marcy: After Brainiac’s defeat, you wouldn’t believe how great it was being with real life comic book characters. I was able to get some info from The Flash about the Speed Force. I learned more about The Atom’s shrinking technology. I was able to see Firestorm’s ability to transmute matter in person. Martin Stein, one half of Firestorm, even gave me some of his notes on atoms. It was really amazing. It even had notes on the nucleus constitution and electron arrangement of the atoms in kryptonite. And after the cities were restored, I was able to learn more about alien architecture. But all good things must come to an end. With help from Batman, I was able to make a portal back home. And Annabanana and Sasha were happy to see me again.

Stanley: Me and Fordsy really helped take down that creep Brainiac. We did such a good job that that Batman guy was very happy to recruit us to help on his team.

Stanford: Technically, Stan, Batman didn’t look happy. In fact, he seemed very irritated by your attitude.

Stanley: Yeah, yeah. Sure. Whatever you say. Anyway, I was assigned to help teach those superhero kids about the criminal underworld. And Fordsy here has been assigned to-

Stanford: I think I can explain this part better, Stan.

Stanley: Ok. Let ‘em have it.

Stanford: (clears throat) I was assigned to help Ray Palmer and Professor Stein with their scientific endeavors. Namely the nature of the microverse and the Firestorm Matrix. And I’m also working with Batman on a portal that’ll take me and Stan home without also helping cause another weirdmageddon.

Stanley: But in the meantime, me and Fordsy are planning on enjoying our stay. With these superheroes, we can find adventures. Maybe even treasure.

Stanford: I doubt the heroes will let us have any of the treasure. But I admit I’m gonna enjoy the weirdness of this world.

Stanley: That’s the spirit, Fordsy.

Vee: After Brainiac was defeated, the team of heroes got to work on a portal to take me back to my home and Camila. In the meantime, though, I was offered membership in a team called the Justice League Dark, a team of heroes that are supposed to help take down magic threats. I guess they figured that my ability to drain magic would be a big help on that front. I wasn’t sure about joining at first. But then I was approached by someone. His name was J’onn J’onzz. The people here apparently call him Martian Manhunter. I checked the old newspapers and told him that everyone thought he died in a confrontation with Superman and Diana. He told me that he survived but was rendered too weak to fight for the foreseeable future. He told me he knew what it was like being a stranger in a strange world. He also told me he knew that it may seem too daunting to fight against impossible odds, especially for a world of people you’ve just begun to know. He told me that it’s still important to fight, though, because it’s the right thing to do. I realized that he’s right. So, after J’onn trained me on how to use my shapeshifting for stealth and combat, I joined the Justice League Dark.

Elena: After we beat Brainiac, I couldn’t look away from those cities full of innocent people that he trapped in his collection. It reminded me too much of how I was trapped in that amulet. I couldn’t just leave them there. But my cousin Esteban told me that releasing a bunch of different civilizations onto the same land will end in complete chaos and after thinking about it, I realized he had a point. So, I decided we’ll release the cities at a fair distance from each other while slowly helping them build alliances with each other. With Green Lantern’s universal translator to help tear down the language barrier, Naomi’s instincts, Esteban’s diplomacy, Supergirl’s shining hope, Flash’s super-speed to help with the multi-tasking, my abuelo’s advice and my abuela’s spirit, I know we’ll be able to pull it off. I won’t let these continue to suffer the same way I did no matter what it takes.

Esteban: After Brainiac was defeated, I was approached by Batman and his team of other strangely dressed heroes. They offered me a spot on their team. Because I was worried about how I wouldn’t last in this world since it’s full of people with strange powers and realized that this team of heroes may be my best bet for safety, I said yes. I told them I wanted to only take part in evacuation operations. I reasoned to them that my teleportation power makes me more practical in that field than any other and they accepted that point. Later, though, Supergirl walked up to me. Apparently, she “heard my heart rate” and knew that I was keeping something from them. Knowing I couldn’t possibly keep the truth from her or escape from her considering her speed, I relented and told her everything. She was shocked to be sure. I’m guessing the only reason she wasn’t angry was because she heard my heart breaking. She then told me that I would have to come clean and tell the rest of them the truth. After taking into account what happened with Elena, I realized she was right. After doing so, they told me that it would take a long time to earn back their trust. So, I realized that’s what I will do. Once I earn back their trust, I’ll ask for their help in getting me back to Avalor. I’ll do everything I can to make things right with Elena. I’ll even sacrifice my own life for her if that’s what it will take.

Sofia: Just after we defeated Brainiac, Batman and Superman went back to fighting again. While I did agree more with Batman’s side than Superman’s, I didn’t want to see 2 old friends fighting as bitter enemies. So, I tried my hardest to find a middle ground between them. It took me a long while but I was eventually able to do it. Now, Batman’s and Superman’s united teams are planning on punishing the worst of the worst who absolutely deserve it while also helping those who just need a fresh start.

Cedric: After we bested Brainiac, I was offered membership in the Justice League Dark. It was a team that consisted of sorcerers not from my world. I couldn’t believe it. Not only could I help put an end to evil sorcerers. With the help of these sorcerers, I could also learn magic that’s from beyond my dimension. Plus, another thing’s for sure. With Cedric The Great on their side, the Justice League Dark will be able to beat any magic evil that comes our way.

#dc #injustice 2 #disney #amphibia #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #gravity falls #stanley pines #stanford pines #the owl house #vee #elena of avalor #elena castillo flores #esteban flores #sofia the first #princess sofia #cedric the sensational

[92fs]

Hi! Feel free to ignore but i was wondering if you could inform me a little about NPD. Because I have a character in a story i’m writing whom —from the very little info currently in my possession— it would make sense if they had NPD; but it’s literally impossible for me to find actual information on the internet about it.

All the info I’ve gathered has been mostly from tumblr posts and such, which really fit w my character but superficially I suppose. So I guess my first question is if you have any actual resources that I could look at.

Then I was wondering if NPD can go undiagnosed for a long time? Like, if it can be “mild” (this might not be the best way to describe it at all I’m sorry) to the point where a therapist would have trouble recognizing it in a high-masking person in their twenties. And if this person might have been conducting a fairly normal life, have friends and successful romantic relationships (with some of their hardships informed by NPD itself of course. i’m not planning on only showing the disorder when it’s favorable) and such, until that point.

This next question I fear is very ignorant but then again I’ve found only negatives when looking for a proper answer. Though I know the disorder is very demonized and the answer is probably yes, i still wanted to get an answer from someone who has it. So, are narcissists generally capable of love? I’m talking both romantic and platonic. And can it be the “stereotypical” form of love people who don’t have it experience? If not, in which ways is it different?

And last, I know some narcissists can feel empathy (or at least that’s what I’ve read) but this specific character doesn’t really. But they can feel sympathy, right? Like, understand why a loved one is sad and be sad about it as well, or want to fix it for them just out of love and the fact that they’ve intellectualized the struggle (if unfamiliar) and they now understand.

Thank you so much either way and sorry if I’ve bothered.

Hey, thanks for reaching out. I'm going to drop this under read more but before you read, some of my general stances:

I am not "anti psychiatry".

I think DSM-5 is a generally good source on PDs.

I don't think Tumblr is an entirely good source for PD info.

I don't think "mild PD" is exactly a thing but I'll elaborate.

I think there are general traits common of all/most pwNPD.

That's just to filter out the audience? And give you the idea on what you're dealing with when I respond to the questions you asked. Now, one by one:

First, I'm just one person. Keep that in mind.

I had an ask reply at some point with some links, here's the post. It is not all and I commented on how you need to vibe check every source for bias. I only linked medically attested information with a note on how some of it is not very welcoming with their wording, but you need to look past it on the actual info they provide.

Something I did not link is relation between brain gray matter volume and NPD.

Undiagnosed NPD/"mild" NPD.

I don't think NPD can be "mild", I believe that would be considered one just having "narcissistic traits" without the actual disorder. It can go undiagnosed in certain conditions. I assume you'd have to factor for ethnicity/race/culture/class/gender in your story because someone who has privilege available to them quickly will not have the same experience with, say, expressing grandiosity as someone in a low-class position. NPD is heavily over-diagnosed in men and under-diagnosed in women. PDs and psychology overall has racial an ethnic bias. Etc. Someone might be "humbled" from expressing narc traits while someone might be cheered on, etc.

A therapist can overlook anything, really, it depends on the therapist. I have doubts that a person with NPD would be diagnosed with social anxiety or something similar, but NPD has strong correlation with BPD and ASPD, so these might be misdiagnosed, and vice versa. A strong grandiose narc is hard to distinguish from someone with antisocial tendencies, etc. A therapist can be shit.

Masking techniques rely heavily on the cultural and other context I outline above. My perspective is specific for someone coming from a traditional Orthodox family with values of "cold heartedness" being the desired masculine trait, so in me the disorder remained fairly unrecognized for a while because lack of empathy/emotionality is valued in men within my cultural context. It's expected. No one would look at me weird because I didn't give a fuck about societal norms/was rude/was not reacting to high emotional outbursts.

There are so many conditions that can affect it, including whether or not your PD is traumagenic. Not everything about a PD is trauma-sourced. Sometimes it's just there, sometimes it's genetic. The research on PDs is ongoing, and with NPD a strong correlation with brain formation has been noted by some. It doesn't have to be trauma but growing up in a shit household can make you more likely to mask and hide?

2. "Normal" life with NPD.

Of course it's possible.

You don't even have to mask for that sometimes. You could just surround yourself with people that match your lack of empathy or those that need your specific NPD traits. You can have successful relationships and friendships, etc. Having a PD does not make you a socially incapable little bitch, really. It just changes the way you work around socializing.

But it can also end up in unsuccessful ones too if you match with a wrong person or if your symptoms are set off? Someone with NPD could grow to detest their long term friend for perceived competition and drop them for years (happened to me). They could also act abusive. Not because of the condition but... because some of our behaviors are perceived as abuse by neurotypicals? Such as possessiveness or strong control tendency?

3. NPD and love.

I mean, PD doesn't have correlation with the ability to feel love but it has correlation with the type of love you feel. Some pwNPD are aromantic and/or aplatonic. I am aplatonic. I don't do friends. But I'm biromantic and entirely sexual. And my idea of love is probably very intense for neurotypicals because I expect full exclusive mutual devotion. A very strong and intense one. I also don't start seeing people as close to me unless they have similar ideas on life and they are as "bad" as me.

To me, the difference is in intensity. I don't do casual love and casual talks. I want genuine connection with someone I could endanger myself or others for? I want the kind of relationship where you are each other's genuine first choice over any norm of morality. Power couple maybe.

I guess pwNPD can still feel the stereotypical love but I can't see one of us growing sheepish/insecure in a relationship or have no standards.

4. Sympathy and Empathy.

I think what you're talking about is cognitive empathy with a tinge of sympathy, which is a hard question to answer because I personally feel no affective empathy. I understand why someone feels sad but their said emotions do not make me sad. I don't feel upset when my partner is upset but I feel mad at whatever made them sad because this is MINE how dare you hurt something mine.

I do approach emotional issues as "fix it"s, though. Usually. "Intellectualized struggle" is a good example of that thought process, or at least one I'm familiar with.

You're welcome, and no you didn't.

#ASK #NPD

[criticalbennifer]

"My wife is here, she'll confirm that!" why do they always have to advertise their relationship? Do they think we're going to forget they're married or something? 99% of the time now when they're making any sort of public appearance they're together or talking about each other or both, I don't remember it ever being this way with their previous partners. Also, as a side note, this is just speculation, but I really get the feeling that they miss the kind of media and public attention they got when they were first together and really want to replicate that now, but unfortunately the public doesn't seem to really care. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.

I thought I was being “bitch eating crackers” about this so I left things alone. But I guess others have noticed. This one in particular didn’t bother me but there was something in the Variety video that bugged. He mention Jlo when telling MBJ he watched the Creed movie. That was ok - it seemed off hand, but then he was mentioning her “impact,” and i thought “why bring that up?” Did he have a “mention Jlo is inspirational” quota to fulfill? It felt disingenuous.

But you know what? I prefer when Ben brings her up, than when Jlo brings him up. She always sounds like a 12 year when she talks about him. She seems…vapid.

When Ben drops new info about her it’s cool. She watches Yellowstone?! Oh, she saw the Creed movies! I prefer that to the “she’s so impactful!” In reverse she’s never dropping info that I want to know. What’s his favorite movie this year? What book is he reading right now? Why doesn’t she post some of his photography -that she’s not in!- on her instagram?! It’s always just “I put Jlo Beauty on him **tee hee**” WHO CARES ABOUT THAT?! IT DOESNT EVEN WORK! HE LOOKS AS DRY AND ASHY AS EVER!

Do they want the same attention they had back then?

I think Jlo does. The majority of her projects in the next year revolve or are associated to him. Which I don’t like. She’s always mixing her professional life with her personal life and it always comes back to bite her (AND HER KIDS!!!) in the ass. You’d think she’d learn by now to keep the two separate.

Maybe Ben does too but only the good parts (whatever those are). He doesn’t want to look ridiculous, which, good luck. You’re married to Jlo, there’s no escaping that. She’s like Donald Trump, aiming for glamorous - always ending up at tacky. I think mostly Ben is using this relationship to look stable so he can get insured and get more jobs. Does he love her? I don’t even know if he likes her. He’s not helping himself with all these grumpy cat pap strolls. He always looks miserable and like he’s about to bail - which always means a spiral. It’s like he’s trying not to be too associated with her. All those “happy” family farmer’s market pap stroll pics still exist on the internet, to remind people of the “normal” “suburban” boring life Ben used to have and some people still want for him. Is he trying to keep that door open? But the “marriage is work” speech is still up and around too so…

I think he’s “behaving” right now because he’s campaigning in award season and he doesn’t want to rock any boats. I want to see what becomes of them after awards season. Are the paps with the ex wife going to start up again? Or has he finally set up some real boundaries (I doubt it)?

I don’t think they’re as big as they were back then but I think they’re still a big deal. If they had better resumes, they’d be THE golden couple but they’re out here coming out with bullshit like this “album” and Marry Me (she’s too old for these roles and needs to hard transition to straight drama) and Hypnotic (which was fun and had some nice abs but was so dumb). At least they’re more interesting together than they are apart. TBH I wouldn’t care about either of them if they weren’t together right now.

#jennifer lopez #ben affleck #bennifer

[rmpmw]

Tablet: My hero’s journey

Let me start on a side note: Dear netbook makers, whoever you are — I don’t know your names because we don’t pay any attention to you, but we know you’re out there, polluting the world with your cheap, ugly, underpowered machines — but here is my command: Surrender and prepare to be boarded. Yes, you’ve been pwned. We told you we didn’t care about the netbook market, so you went ahead with your plans, but now we’re about to put you out of business — iTablet is in the final stages, which means Apple will be taking over the market you created and then reinventing it in such a way that it immediately becomes 10 times bigger than it used to be, and all the money goes to Apple.

Honestly, Apple faithful, I feel like Jesus coming down from Mount Zion with those stone tablets. Except my tablet is electronic, which Katie says makes me Electronic Jesus. Of course she’s kidding. We really don’t go around comparing me to Jesus. Frankly, it’s apples and oranges, and it sort of diminishes both of us to put us in a framework like that. But I really view this product as the crowning achievement of my career. I’ve come to believe it is the reason I was put on earth. And yes, this is why I was, well, a bit of a dick to the people who were working on it. Because it had to be perfect. And you know what? It is. It’s actually better than perfect, which maybe you didn’t think was possible, but it is. In fat that is a phrase I first heard from my friend I.M. Pei (who by the way just loves his 30-inch Cinema Display) when he was telling me about that glass pyramid at the Louvre. “Steve,” he said to me, “it is better than perfect.” Ever since then, I’ve strived to reach that level of beyond perfection, or, as we say at Apple, “perfection plus.”

And now we’ve hit it. Because iTablet truly is the most amazing product I’ve ever created, more amazing even than iPhone, and I was pretty sure iPhone would never be topped. Fast network? Check. Gorgeous interface? Check. Light weight? Sleek design? Great (unremovable) battery life? Check, check, check. Childlike wonder? Almost too much of it. In fact, the first time Phil Schiller held iTablet in his hands, he began to shake and had to sit down. It’s that overwhelming.

As usual, we began with an ad campaign. Then we went through excruciating rounds of prototyping and non-thinking and dozens of emergent designs. Then came months of trying to decide whether the tablet should be white or black, and looking at plastics, and getting the exact right gloss. Then came the packaging, and finally, last March, we began the lock-down period where the two dozen engineers who are most crucial to the project are kept on campus 24×7 so that they can’t talk to their families or friends about what they’re doing. For 18 of those hours every day they work in solitary confinement, communicating with each other only through email and instant messages, and receiving delicious, freshly cooked ethnic meals through a slot in their door. For six hours they are put into “sleep mode,” meaning they are hooked to an IV and put into an intensely restful chemically induced coma in solitary sleep pods (shiny white, natch) during which time their dreams are monitored and scrubbed of any information that we deem proprietary.

Now we’re in the final stage — leak mode. No doubt you’ve seen the articles, like this one in Apple Insider or the one in the Financial Times where they said we’re doing some “Cocktail” thing with music companies so we can force people to go back to those wonderful days when you had to buy a whole album of shit songs just to get the one song you liked. That part about the music companies and the cocktail was what we call a “barium enema,” meaning it’s fake info that we attach to the real info so that we can trace who leaked it and then have that person shot.

Meanwhile, we’re also well into rehearsals for the iTablet keynote. And, as always, it’s making me nuts. We spend eight to ten hours a day on stage in the recreation of the Moscone Center here on campus. And it’s just grueling. Every few seconds I have to stop because some tiny thing is not quite … perfection plus. I realize I’m being overly obsessive, but I can’t help myself. This is a super important event. Not only because we’re introducing the most amazing product the world has ever seen, but because this marks my return from the underworld.

We’re using the code name “Project Orpheus,” and in order to create the right vibe for the event everyone on the events team was required to read Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces.” Because think about it. A hero goes off on a journey or adventure; experiences tremendous challenges that threaten his life; he possibly even dies, and journeys into the underworld; but then he returns to the ordinary world with a great gift, or “boon,” to share with the world. (Yeah, I know — “boon” sounds like “boom.” Happy accident. We’re working with it.)

Anyway, just like Orpheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to the world, my gift to the world is iTablet — a device that incorporates not just chips and software, but magic. Special secret powers from Mount Olympus, stuff that turns you into a kind of man-god, a semi-divine being with a magic tablet so light that you can’t even feel it in your backpack or briefcase but with the ability to connect you to the Internet and enable you to buy anything you want as long as it comes from Apple. In other words, you’re a superhero. With super powers. All this for only $899!

If you doubt the power of this hero’s journey myth to sell products, well, I urge you to check out some of the organizations that have used it in the past. Like there’s this product called Christianity. Have you heard of it? Pretty big deal. I mean they’ve been selling that stuff for two thousand years — to be sure, with updates and upgrades, and a lot of forking of the code — but it’s still throwing off huge amounts of positive cash flow. All based on this amazing marketing narrative about a dude who dies, goes down into Hades, and comes back to the ordinary world with something to tell. You spiff that story up a bit and tell it just right, and people send you their money. Not just once, but over and over and over again, throughout their entire lives. Brilliant! It’s the greatest marketing campaign ever invented.

But you know what? This whole “I’m off to get a liver and might even die but oh wait, I’m back now and guess what, I saw God and here’s the tablet computer that he wants you to use” thing is right up there. People are gonna be so excited to see me on stage that they’ll do anything I tell them. P.T. Barnum? David Blaine? The big J.C. himself? I have pieces of guys like that in my stool. So, my advice? Keep your Tuesdays in September free. Get the lawn chairs and blankets ready, and start staking out a space in front of your local Apple store, and get those credit cards ready. Nerdvana is just around the corner. Seriously. It’s closer than you think.

[rebelwrites]

From This Moment || Part Twelve

Jax Teller x Reader

Summary: Neither Y/N or Jax wanted to go back to reality, enjoying the life in the bubble they had created. Life was simple right now but something always got in the way of their happiness.

Warnings: none

From This Moment Masterlist

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The room was so quiet you swore you could have heard a pin drop. All eyes were on you and Jax, some were looks of confusion, others were looks of worry but the main ones were looks of hatred. Especially from Gemma and the two in question.

“She’s carrying the child of a member of this club,” Gemma spat, looking down at you like you were nothing but trash. “She had every right to be protected, too.”

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, she had a point. You may not have liked her but you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if something happened to the child, even if you were still having doubts about who the father actually was.

“What’s he doing here then?” you said lowly, narrowing your eyes at your ex husband, who was standing rather close to Tara, his arm planted around her waist. Just the sight of him was making your stomach churn, once upon a time you were head over heels in love with this guy but now you couldn’t stand the sight of him, now that you could see his true colours. “He has no reason whatsoever to be here.”

“Good to see you too, Sweets.” Ayden laughed coldly, with a smug look on his face. As he watched you screw your face up at the nickname he had for you.

“Wasn’t speaking to you asshole.” You scoffed, trying not to throw up at the name he called you, turning your attention back to Gemma. “As I said, what's he doing here?”

“You seem to be forgetting that he is the ex of the Vice President’s best friend. That link is enough to put him in danger.” Gemma smirked proudly, knowing that it would get under your skin with him being here. “Both Ayden and Tara got attacked last night by the Mexicans.” Raising your brow at them, both you and Jax took in the black eye that was forming on her face. Things didn’t make sense, there was no beef with the Mexicans, it had all been put to bed and a new page was turned. So why would they randomly attack a pregnant woman, and more importantly how did they know she was carrying Jax’s child. “If they are willing to attack pregnant women what else are these spics going to do?”

You blood was boiling, you hated the term Spics with a passion. And here she was just spewing the word out of her mouth. You weren’t even going to waste any more breath on them, you didn’t need to stress yourself out. “Whatever.” You shrugged, wiggling out of Jax’s arms, reaching into his Kutte pulling out the pack of smokes and his zippo before heading outside. You needed some air and had to make an important phone call. A phone call to someone that would know what the word on the street was, someone who wouldn’t feed you bullshit.

Resting the ball of your foot on the pedals of Jax’s bike you perched your ass on the seat as you pulled the phone to your ear, letting your lit cigarette hang between your blood red lips. Taking a few deep breaths as you listened to the dial tone.

“Took you long enough to answer, Tio!” You laughed, as you watched the smoke from your cigarette float into the air. “Could have been dying here.”

“But you aren’t, Chika, so don’t get dramatic.” His voice boomed down the phone, causing a small smile to appear on your face. “We both know I’m the dramatic one here. So stop stealing my role. Now, what can I do for my favourite person.”

“I need to know what the streets are saying. Club’s gone into lockdown and Tara is saying her and Ayden got attacked by the Mexicans last night. So Gemma, being mother Teresa, has them at the club.” You sighed heavily, watching as Jax strolled out of the clubhouse, glancing around the lot until he spotted you.

“Leave it to your Tio,” he said softly, “Give me a couple of hours to get the info and I will come and check on you both.” You smiled at his statement, knowing that he cared for Jax the same way he cared for you, even if he did tease you. “Oh and Chika, didn’t I tell you that white boy was dangerous and there’s a reason I call him troublemaker?” You could hear the smirk in his voice and could clearly picture the face and gestures he was pulling right now. “Try not to kill anyone.” He laughed, ending the call.

Pulling your phone away from your ear, you shook your head at your phone. You knew he wouldn’t let you down, he always pulled through with the intel. Jax was now standing in front of you, his hands resting on your thighs. “Everything okay, Darlin’?” he asked, kissing the top of your head.

“Yeah,” you breathed, tossing the cigarette but on the floor, instantly replacinging it. You knew chain smoking wasn’t the answer but right now it was helping. “Tio is going to see what the word on the street is, I don’t think it was the Mexicans. He said he would swing by once he has found something but I think that is more so he can check up on me.”

“It’s because he loves you,” Jax whispered, brushing his fingers over your cheeks. “Now finish your smoke, go take a shower, it will help relax you and I know you are dying to get changed.” He nodded, dropping his gaze to your feet. “I don’t know how you deal with these things.”

“There is a thing called a work dress code, you know.” You smirked, cocking your bow at him, “But yeah I hate them, they are the spawn of Satan, give me my trainers and combat boots any day of the week.”

Jax felt you tense under his touch, following your gaze he saw Tara and Ayden strolling out of the clubhouse. He knew that this would be bringing up old memories, because it was for him. He hated the amount of nights you were sobbing in his arms due to an argument. “Just ignore them baby,” Jax hummed, taking your hand in his running his fingers over your finger tattoo. “They just want to get a reaction out of you.”

He was right, especially with the way they were both watching you like a hawk. If looks could kill you would be dead. “Just hold your head up high and ignore them,” Jax whispered, pulling you to your feet, taking the remainder of your smoke off you. Normally you would moan at him for it but you couldn’t be bothered. You were just tired of being froze out, it was like you were the black sheep of this very fucked up family.

Soon enough you were in the bathroom of the bunk, letting the hot water lash down at your skin. Jax decided to leave you to it, knowing that you weren’t in the mood for talking right now, so he gently closed the door to the bunk, making his way down the hallway. Stopping the moment he reached his father’s bike, resting his hand on the handlebar he looked at the photo on the wall. “What do I do Dad?” He mumbled, blinking back a few tears. “This isn’t how everything was meant to go. Will we ever get our happy ending?” He spoke as if he was going to get the answers he searched for. Shaking his head, he used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe his eyes before joining everyone back in the main room.

“How is the little lass?” Chibs asked, slamming his hand down on Jax’s shoulder.

“Stressed, but I can’t blame her.” Jax sighed, running his hand over his face. “I’m just trying to keep the stress levels down, we still don’t know what her triggers are for her migraines and the last thing I need is her having an attack because of this fucked up family drama.”

“Things will work themselves out, Jackieboy, they always do,” Chibs said softly. “Just keep doing what you are doing.”

“Thanks, brother,” Jax nodded, reaching over the bar to grab a beer.

Around an hour had passed when one of the prospects came bounding into the clubhouse. “There is someone parked outside of the gates, wanting to get in. Some Mexican guy, but I have never seen this dude before.”

Jax instantly looked up from his conversation with Happy. “What car is it, bro?”

“Turquoise Chevy Bel Air.”

“Let him in.” Jax nodded, not missing the glare he was getting from Clay and his Mom.

“Thats it, just let some fucking Spic into the club,” Clay growled, makking the whole room fall silent once again. “You remember we are on lockdown and it was the Mexicans that attacked the mother of your child.”

Jax rolled his eyes, instantly standing to his feet, barging past everyone to square up with Clay, he was seconds away from punching Clay not caring if he was the President or his step father. Before he could throw a punch, he felt the soft touch of your hand on his. “It’s not worth it, baby,” you said softly. He didn’t know you had ventured out of the room.

“Your Tio is here.” He breathed, focusing on your touch rather than the anger that was running through his veins. “Let's see what the streets are saying.” Linking your fingers with Jax’s you both made your way outside, Jax didn’t miss the smile on your face as you watched the Bel Air cruise into the lot, parking wherever there was space.

The moment Nero stepped out of the car, he ran his gaze over your appearance, the hoodie you were wearing definitely didn’t belong to you especially with how oversized it was. “See you don’t wear your own clothes now, Princesca.” He smirked, raising his brow as he pointed to the navy blue SAMCRO hoodie. “At least you aren’t stealing my jumpers and cardigans.” He chuckled, pulling you in for a hug, kissing the top of your head. “‘Mano, you might want to invest in some more clothes because this one is notorious for stealing clothing.”

“Trust me, I know.” Jax laughed, as you stepped back allowing Nero to hug him. “She was stealing my shit long before Vegas, she tries to deny it but she has one section that is just my hoodies and t-shirts.”

“Still here you know,” you huffed, pouting at your husband. “Now let's take this inside, I have a feeling the whole club is going to want to hear what the truth is.”

Once again all eyes were on you as you walked back into the clubhouse. Leaning against the bar as Chucky instantly asked Nero what he wanted to drink, beaming when he asked for a coffee. Smiling softly at Chucky you asked him to make you one two, you had always liked how he made it, it was always the perfect blend of sweetness and bitterness.

“So, this attack on your baby mama, wasn’t the Mexicans.” Nero hummed, sipping his coffee, nodding approvingly at Chucky. “Very reliable source as well.”

“Your source is wrong.” Tara snapped, raising her voice.

“Do I look like a person who does not have reliable sources?” Nero said bluntly, pointing to himself as he spoke. “In my line of business everyone gets vetted, so do not try to say my sources are anything but legit.”

You couldn't help but smirk as he put Tara in her place. Folding your arms over your chest, you watched as her skin started turning a nice shade of crimson as she got flustered. Her mouth opened like she was going to say something but instantly stopped herself. You had caught her out and she knew it. This beef wasn’t with the Mayans or any of the other Mexican clubs, this was with Darby’s crew for torching the porn studio.

“So, Tara,” Jax’s voice boomed through the club. “Anything you want to say? Or are you just going to keep lying about how you got that black eye?”

The silence was deafening, you watched intently as her eyes darted around the room, realizing that all eyes were on her. You watched as she fumbled with the sleeve of her hoodie, the colour fully draining out of her face and she looked like she was going to throw up.

“We haven’t got all day!” You scoffed, folding your arms over your chest as you rested your head on Jax’s shoulder, waiting for her to speak.

“It must have been a random act of violence then.” Tara started, throwing her arms up in the air.

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#from this moment #jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy x reader #sons of anarchy imagine

[dreamwritesimagines]

Burn The Witch 3 - Ensnared [Bucky Barnes x Reader]

A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns.

Summary: Things aren’t always what they seem to be.

Series Masterlist

Finding out that the target you had been assigned to seduce and manipulate for information was actually a good person had its advantages and disadvantages.

For starters, the biggest advantage was that now you could prepare a strategy based on his personality. After all, good people were easier to trick, it was the people like you that would’ve given you a hard time if the roles were reversed. You had been taught to approach everyone with suspicion and pinpoint their weak spots to use against them and as it turned out, Bucky didn’t adapt the same strategy when it came to other people.

The disadvantage? You had no idea how to deal with that.

For years and years you had been trained to kill, lie, manipulate and not look back or feel guilty about any of it because you were told that all your targets were the kind of people that would’ve harmed you or others if they had the chance; so Bucky not being evil was surprising at the very least.

The infamous Winter Soldier hadn’t tried to hurt you when he was under attack, hadn’t tried to use you as a leverage to get out of there unlike what you would’ve done if the roles were reversed.

Needless to say, you were confused as hell.

“I mean when you think about it, it’s not surprising that he’s a good guy,” Chloe said, resting her feet on the table in the empty conference room, “Didn’t he fight against Thanos with Steve Rogers and everyone else?”

“I would’ve fought in that war if I could as well, it doesn’t mean that I’m a good person.”

She pouted, “That’s debatable. I think you’re a great person.”

“No I’m not. I swear to you I’m not.”

“Come on, you don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“If it were me, I would’ve pushed him into the line of fire without a second thought.”

“Exactly. We’re terrible people and we acknowledge that, Chloe.” Keith said as you tapped your pencil on the file,

“Back to the first impression strategy, guys. How do I meet Barnes?”

“Hold on, before we continue with the strategy you need to give me an answer about your cover job,” Chloe said, “We can’t have him suspect you’re hiding anything from him. Jobs are a huge part of someone’s life, it’ll come up.”

Keith raised his head, “What are the options?”

“Oh you know, the usual. Sales assistant, retail—“

“The last time you put me in retail for an undercover job, I ended up punching a customer.” he cut her off, “I vote no to the retail.”

“I’m sure they had it coming,” you deadpanned and Chloe hmmed.

“Fast food?”

“No, it makes my hair smell bad.”

“There’s a milkshake shop I can put you in, it doesn’t smell bad. It’s close to the coffee shop he and Wilson get their coffee from.”

“What’s the catch?”

A small grin pulled at her lips, “It’ll be good for the mission.”

You frowned as Keith sat up straighter, curiosity written all over his face. “Chloe? Share your devious plans with the class please?”

“It’s a retro milkshake shop and the uniforms are like….1940s pin up meets 1950s diner waitress.”

Keith started laughing and you stared at Chloe before letting out a groan, burying your face into your palms.

“I hate you so much.”

“Come on, it’s going to be Bucky Barnes’ wet dream, you know that!” Keith said, “On a completely unrelated note, can I see those uniforms?”

“No!” you snatched the phone from Chloe’s hand before Keith could take a look, “No you can’t!”

“I’m so going to take pictures, and when you become a handler I will use them to humble you.”

“I will shoot you if you do that, and can you please focus?” you insisted, “I have a meeting with General soon, and he will ask me about the strategy and I can’t go there with no ideas.”

“Just find something you and Barnes are interested in both, that never failed me,” Keith paused, “Well that, and my good looks.”

Chloe turned to look at him, “I gave her a huge file containing everything there is to know about him,” she said, “It will help her to make him fall in love, but meeting him is something else.”

“Guys,” he rolled his eyes “What are you, fifteen? It’s incredibly easy to meet people.”

“No, it’s incredibly easy to meet civilians,” you corrected him, “Or the bad guys. It’s not like Barnes goes to bars or anything, he’s not very social.”

“Yeah I get that but he has to do something.” he insisted, “Just hand me the file, are you sure you didn’t miss anything?”

“We didn’t—he does the same thing every superhero does,” Chloe threw her hands up, “He saves people if they’re in need, but how are we going to use that?”

You opened your mouth to answer but when the thought struck you, you took a sharp breath, narrowing your eyes. A smile lit up your face, the plan slowly forming in your mind and Keith frowned at you over the file.

“Y/N you’re smiling,” he reminded you, “It’s creepy when you do it genuinely.”

“He does, doesn’t he?” you asked as you turned to Chloe, “You’re right. Superheroes save people, and—and Barnes is not only a superhero, but he’s also a good guy right? He didn’t use me as a leverage while getting out of there, so he cares about people’s wellbeing, so to speak.”

“Yeah?”

You snapped your fingers, “I need to find someone to shoot me.”

“Same, you’re not special.”

Chloe gasped, “Keith!”

“Relax, she’s not serious.”

“No I’m very serious.”

He scowled, “Did you forget what happened when I accidentally shot you on a mission three years ago? It was just one time and you bitched at me for a whole month. You found me when I was working undercover in Brazil to show up at my apartment so that you could complain about it more, I don’t even know how you found my address, it was classified info.”

“I gave her your address.” Chloe held up a hand and Keith heaved a sigh.

“Thank you Brutus.”

“You had it coming,” you pointed out, “But forget about that for a second, okay? I think I just found our strategy. We’re going to use me as a bait.”

“What?”

“That’s how I’ll meet him. We will put me in a dangerous position and he will…” you tried to ignore the bitter taste at the back of your throat, “He will have to save me.”

“I’m sorry,” Chloe said, “He will help you and you will use that to lure him, did I get that right?”

“Exactly,” you grinned, “What better way to manipulate a hero than to give him somebody to save?”

She blinked a couple of times, then turned to Keith.

“Honestly, in times like these I wonder why I’m friends with you guys,” she commented, “Do you have any idea why on earth I’m friends with you?”

He shrugged his shoulders,

“I don’t know,” he said, “Because we’re fun when we’re not diabolical?”

                                           ***

The plan was pretty simple, it would look like a robbery gone wrong. You would be accompanied by one of the lower ranking agents who would pose as a robber so that if he got caught while getting away, it would pose no threat to your cover afterwards, not to mention it couldn’t be traced back to you or the operation.

Of course, you had to make sure that Bucky would stay behind and meet you while Wilson chased the bad guy off. Based on your observations on Wilson, saving people always came first rather than punishing the other person, he put the safety of innocents before anything else, so you had to find a way for them to think Wilson was more suitable for the chase.

Motorcycle. The rookie agent would get away on a motorcycle, which would require Wilson to use his wings to gain speed on him.

But God, you just hated playing the damsel in distress.

“I just want to say I’m honored that you picked me for this mission,” the agent was almost buzzing with excitement in the back alley while you waited until Wilson and Barnes was anywhere within hearing distance. “I heard- I heard so much about you Shrike. Ma’am.”

You leaned your back to the wall, crossing your arms.

“Is it true that you once killed a target using just a pencil?” he asked, “Or that you took down five armed people with a dagger?”

You turned your head to look at him better, amusement making you smile.

“Or- or that you can get information out of someone in just five minutes?” he held his breath, “Or that your father-“

“Don’t talk about my father.” You cut him off, the harsh command leaving your lips almost too fast and you felt the slight guilt pulling at your heartstrings before you shook your head.

“You’re a good shot, right?” you asked, “I don’t want to get the bullet stuck in my arm, you’ll just graze me.”

“I’m a great shot ma’am, top of my class.”

“And you need to make it look believable. Remember, if Wilson catches you—“

“He will take me to the nearest police station, and I will stay there until an agent is sent to pick me up. But do you want me to get caught?”

“Try not to,” you shrugged your shoulders “But if he does, don’t worry about it. He has no reason to believe it’s anything more than some mugging.”

His phone beeped and he checked it, then took a deep breath, “Barnes and Wilson are within hearing distance. Are you ready?”

“Let’s do this,” you said and he grabbed his gun, then pointed it at your arm. You cleared your throat, looking over your shoulder before you turned to him and let out a very high scream, probably enough to reach the people nearby. He pulled the trigger and the gunshot echoed through the alley, a burning spreading all over your arm and making you fall to your knees.

“Are you okay?” he stepped closer to you and you tried to catch your breath.

“Go!” you hissed and he ran to the motorcycle before he rode away and as soon as he was out of your sight, Barnes and Wilson ran to the alley and you started sobbing, holding onto your arm which throbbed in pain.

Good news was he was a good shot, and he had managed to only graze you. But considering that your cover was a civilian, you doubted civilians were used to gunshot wounds, so you had to make it dramatic.

“Ma’am?” Wilson rushed to you with Barnes following him and you tried to breathe through sobs.

“Thank God, please help me—“ you sniffled and looked at the other side of the alley, breathing fast, “He took my wallet, and-and he had a motorcycle…”

“On it. Buck, stay with her.” Wilson said and ran out of the alley as Barnes crouched down to your level while you kept panting, your knees pulled to your chest, leaning back to the wall.

“Hi,” he smiled at you softly and you took a trembling breath, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Hello,” you managed to say as he stole a look at your arm before his eyes snapped back to yours.

“I’m Bucky,” he said, “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Can I look at your arm, Y/N?”

You pursed your lips together, pretending to consider it before you raised your hand so that he could see the graze on your upper arm. He furrowed his brows for a moment, and carefully lifted your arm to see it better under the street lights while you sniffled again.

“Am I—am I going to die?” you stammered and he let out a small chuckle.

“No,” he said, “No you won’t. It’s just a graze, it doesn’t even look like it’ll need stitches. I promise.”

“But how do you know?”

“Let’s just say I’ve had my fair share of arm injuries.”

You tried to keep the look of confusion on your face before you slowly averted your gaze from him to his metal wrist and you gasped, your jaw dropping as if you were distracted from the pain.

“Bucky? As in Bucky Barnes?” you asked, “Wait, no. Right? Can’t be.”

A look of regret flashed over his face, apparently he thought that would scare you but lucky for you, you had seen it coming while coming up with a strategy.

“I heard about you!” you said, “You fought against Thanos!”

He was taken aback at the fact that you didn’t accuse him of anything his head was obviously swarming with, and that would be the one thing you could base your whole plan on.

In order to make him fall in love with you and trust you, you had to act like you trusted him, act like you had little to no knowledge of the dark side of his past. Naïve civilian girl with a soft heart was the perfect cover because as far as you could tell from his file, Bucky Barnes just wanted to come back home from war.

He had been looking for something he could call his home for decades now and you’d let him believe you were his home until your orders told you otherwise.

“That’s it?” he asked when you didn’t continue and you pulled your brows together.

“Hm?”

“That’s all you…all you wanted to say?”

“Right—” you took a deep breath, “Right, I’m sorry. Thank you for all you’ve done, for saving the world.”

“No no, I didn’t mean—“ he stopped himself, “That wasn’t what I meant. Trust me, you shouldn’t be thanking me.”

“Well I am though,” you winced when you moved your arm before turning your head to check the dark alley “Bucky? Do you… do you think that robber would come back?”

“Sam’s got it covered.” he assured you, “Don’t worry. He’s not getting away, and he’s definitely not coming back here.”

“Okay.” You murmured and wiped at your eye again with the back of your free hand before you clutched at your arm again, a sob tearing itself from your chest. “God, it just—it hurts so bad...”

He shushed you gently, “I know it does sweetheart. Let’s get you to the hospital so that it will stop hurting, alright?”

Ah.

Even by 40s standards, sweetheart was a good sign.

You shook your head, “But I can’t go to the hospital.”

“Why not?”

“I’m on a budget.”

He blinked a couple of times, “Come again?”

“I don’t have enough money for the hospital. I’m sure if I put a band aid on it or something it’d work, you said it wouldn’t need stitches and there’s a pharmacy right around the corner you see—”

“That’s not how bullet wounds work, let’s go.” He helped you up but you stumbled into him, letting him catch you as you looked up at him.

“I apologize, I just feel dizzy…” you said and he smiled softly.

“Don’t worry about it,” his voice was soothing, “You think you can walk? I can carry you.”

“No I can—I can walk,” you stammered and let him lead you out of the alley, his arm wrapped around your waist tight before he looked down at you.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured to himself, then he took off his jacket to put it over your shoulders. You pulled the oversized jacket tighter around you, brushing the sleeve over your forehead to push back your hair and only when he turned to stop a taxi you let a tiny smirk pull at your lips despite the throbbing on your arm.

Well, your superiors were going to be pleased. The first part of the mission was done.

Now all you had to do was make him fall in love with you.

                             Chapter 4

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #marvel #the falcon and the winter soldier #falcon and the winter soldier #bucky barnes imagines #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #tfatws #fatws

[demonslayedher]

The Sound Pillar past, I have heard that explore a bit in databook about being ninja.

Also what happened his sibling that still remain.

Also what there react

Combining info from the fanbooks and Chapters 80, 87, and 90 we get the following narrative of Uzui Tengen and his family, as complete as I could fill it in. It's always possible the anime version will expand and give us more, but here's what I've got in chronological format.

Uzui Tengen's father was the leader of their clan, one of a few ninja clans who lived in close community. Ninja were regularly sent on missions, but it is not clear what those missions were. Women and children were also expected to undergo strict training and go on missions, but women were primarily only valued as baby-makers, and it was common for one man to take multiple wives. The wives, at least in the Uzui case, were chosen upon agreements between families. (For more commentary on the unusual and cult-like nature of the Uzui ninja clan, please see this post.) In Chapter 80, Makio recalls how she never used to be afraid of dying because she was so brainwashed to believe her only value as a kunoichi (female ninja) was to put her life on the line in support of the strong male ninja. Tengen is the oldest of nine children. Of note, Fanbook #2 states that he has a mother and father from whom the nine children came, but as multiple wives is the norm in this village and Uzui was 15 when they were forced to fight each other, I think it's reasonable to assume many of them were half-siblings (even if all with one very busy wife, that would make the youngest one only around 7~9 years old or so, by my guess. But, it doesn't seem unreasonable in this clan that an 8-year-old would be expected to take part in this fight.)

Tengen had his three wives by the time he was 15. Since he is 23 when canon takes place and Hinatsuru (from a ninja clan second in rank to the Uzui clan and who has a good balance of core ninja skills) is 21, Makio (physically a highly capable ninja but her short temper causes her to fail her missions and yes, she is Tengen's cousin, please restrain your knee-jerk reactions and accept the cultural difference and move one) is 20, and Suma is 19 (and yes, Fanbook #2 said she likes both men and women), that means his wives were respectively 13, 12, and 11 when they fled the village. As Suma's younger sister was originally the one being considered as a bride, this means they were willing to marry off girls even younger than that. See this post for more commentary on multiple wives in the Taisho period, and as an added note, the legal age for women to marry in Taisho was 16. The Uzui ninja clan was entirely counter-cultural in the first place, though, so this doesn't apply very directly to them. Furthermore, due to their curse, the Ubuyashiki clan had very usually early expectations for children to wed, and they always run a not officially recognized organization. Otherwise, most of the cast seems to follow more usual Meiji/Taisho family patterns. Of the nine siblings, three of them died before Tengen turned 15, simply due to the lifestyle. When Tengen was 15 (clarified according to Fanbook #1), Tengen's father pit the remaining six siblings against each other so that only the strong would remain. They were all concealing their identities and did not know they were fighting their own siblings. According to Fanbook #2, Tengen killed two of them, and his younger brother (second oldest) killed another two, and Tengen was pissed when he realized what was happening. He couldn't bring himself to kill his remaining brother, though that brother was just like their father when it came to his values that only the strong should survive, and he really didn't care about killing his own flesh and blood. This was when Tengen decided he didn't want to live like this, and he took his wives and fled. For a while (according to Fanbook #2), he often said he should go to hell, but this made Makio angry, it made Hinatsuru cry, and it made Suma bite him so he stopped saying that. He did continue to think that he should eliminate the rest of this evil Uzui clan, but he could never bring himself to kill his father and little brother. (So, fanfic writers, grab your pens, we can assume the Uzui clan is still active.) Anyway, once he was free of that lifestyle where he had to constantly hide his presence, he thoroughly rebelled and embraced the flamboyant.

It's unclear when and how Tengen learning Breathing technique. It's possible there was knowledge of this technique in some form or another among the ninja (though his wives don't seem to display it), and it's also possible he learned from a cultivator. Sound is an off-shoot of Thunder, but it's unclear whether Sound was established before he came along, or if he created this Breath to make extra use of his keen hearing. (What I would give to see Tengen/Kuwajima interactions, preferably arguing about which Breath is superior.) It's unclear how much time passed between fleeing the clan and joining the Demon Slayer Corps. Given his ninja skills, as soon as he found out about the Corps (and perhaps by extension, demons), passing the Final Selection was probably a breeze for him. It was either right after the Final Selection (and therefore still waiting for his uniform), or just as he had made up his mind to join the Corp that he declares his new rule to his wives: their lives are #1 priority. #2 priority is morally upright humans, and #3 is Tengen himself.

And they're like, "whaaaaaaaat."

But sure enough they all accept the demon slaying mission, and before long, Tengen and his wives meet Oyakata-sama one fine spring day, I assume upon attaining the rank of Sound Pillar. Oyakata-sama sympathizes with how hard it must had been for Tengen--for all of them--to go against what they were raised to believe, and to fight to protect people in what they've deemed a morally upright course of life. Tengen's like, "this guy gets it" and becomes as big a fanboy as any other Pillar is for Oyakata-sama. It's purely conjecture, but I'm guessing he and Oyakata-sama both were somewhere around age 15~17 at this meeting (again, we don't know how much time has passed since Tengen left the ninja. Due to Kanae and Tengen's shared presence at later flashbacks, he couldn't had been older than 18~19). Tengen goes on to be super popular. The most popular Pillar in the Corp, Taisho Rumor has it. His wives all help on missions too, but there's an agreement that they'll get out and live a happy domestic life once they've bagged an Upper Moon--enough of a contribution to, perhaps, to feel they've atoned for the sins they committed as ninja (or at least, this was how Hinatsuru proposed the idea). Once the arm gets chopped and the eye gets cut, Tengen gains a really good excuse for retiring, but it was just his luck to have declared three Tsuguko within hours of his forced retirement. (Like, I doubt this counts for anything. And if he ever calls them that again his trio of Tsuguko are probably going to be more confused than anybody else.) Anyway, Nezuko brings him back from the brink of poison-induced death and he basically walks home. While still involved in the Corp in training the rank and file members and guarding Kiriya upon his becoming Oyakata-sama (meaning he, like Himejima, was trusted with knowledge in advance about Kagaya's very flamboyant exit plan). After that he truly goes into domestic retirement mode and makes friends with a fellow lop-sided former Pillar, however drab he always thought that person was. He takes enough of a liking to said former Pillar that he brings him along on co-ed hot spring dips and lets him hold his first child. Which of the three wives birthed the first child, we don't know. And then one of his descendants goes on to be a flamboyant gymnast, but still gathers once a year under Ubuyashiki's leadership to perform the Sound Breath forms as a sacred Kagura dance. And we still don't know what became of Tengen's brother. For all we know, modern gymnast Uzui Tenma and his six other siblings regularly avoid explosive attacks on their life from a generations-held promise to eliminate them. PARKOUR---but more flamboyant. (I hope it's obvious that I am being silly here and have no canon basis for this.)

#no where in this did I mention the Muscle Mice #I am disappointed in my myself for I love the Muscle Mice #Uzui Tengen #kny references #kny reference #kny fandom theories and meta #Uzui Hinatsuru #Uzui Makio #Uzui Suma #Kimetsu no Yaiba #Demon Slayer

[lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love]

The End of Something—Chapter 4

Notes: I mean no disrespect by writing or posting this, and in no way do I take the themes and topics discussed in this series lightly. So if you’re triggered by any of this, I suggest not reading it.

This is an AU of THE WALKING DEAD. So the apocalypse never happened, and everyone’s alive and well. If for any reason I’m getting characters wrong, please let me know and I’ll fix it to the best of my abilities. Also, there will be moments where I’ll come back to do some editing where it’s needed.

Message me or leave an ask if you want to be tagged!

Pairing: Rick Grimes x Reader (she/her pronouns)

Chapter Description: Your anxiety spikes and you wonder if your ex’s harsh words are true.

Warnings: Anxiety attack; mentions/reference to a toxic ex; harsh/abusive talk from a toxic ex; self-doubt; guilt and anxiety; spelling/grammatical errors; whatever else I failed to mention

Additional Info: Y/N = your name | Y/N/N = your nickname | Y/L/N = your last name | Y/E/C = your eye color | Y/H/C = your hair color

Masterlist: Click Here

Previous Chapter: Click Here

Next Chapter: Click Here

(image from Pinterest)

You and Lottie spent a fair amount of time in the backyard, playing with Moose and getting more comfortable in each other’s company. The puppy had quickly become a favorite of yours. His innocence, the way he easily worked his way into your heart; you couldn’t imagine life without him after that. Moose was the dog you always wanted, the one your parents and ex refused to get. You’re secretly thanking whatever god is listening that Lottie and her husband got Moose.

After half an hour, Lottie brought Moose inside, you following behind them. Moose immediately went on the couch, throwing himself on his side and throwing the occasional look the sisters’ way. He was excitedly awaiting their company. You waisted no time, sitting beside him as he started sniffing you intensely. After every place he sniffed he’d give a little lick, which made you giggle. Your hands seemed to be his favorite; he quickly abandoned the sniffing and started licking and nibbling your hands and fingers. You giggled again, deciding to rub his head and sides, with Moose giving little huffs and nibbles wherever you rubbed him.

“I think it’s official,” Lottie said, sitting at the other end of the sofa. You looked at her questioningly. “Moose likes you more than me or Max.”

“No,” you shook your head, gently poking the puppy’s side. “I’m sure he loves you guys more.”

“Trust me, he loves you more.” Lottie smiled, watching as her dog played with her sister. “He’s affectionate with Max and I, but he’s not like this.”

“I’m a new person,” you responded. “I’m sure he’s like this with new people.” You gave your sister another questioning look.

She shrugged. “He is a bit more playful with the neighbor’s kid,” she said. “But he’s got a soft spot for girls.”

“Oh,” you said softly. You didn’t know who she was talking about, but nodded anyway. At least he’s good with kids.

“I think you’d like him,” Lottie said.

“Who, the neighbor’s kid?” you asked. Giving your sister a confused glance.

“No, no—sorry.” She chuckled, waving your comment off. “While I’m sure you’d love Carl, I meant his father.” Your confusion didn’t pass. Carl? His father? Lottie quickly continued: “Rick, that’s Carl’s father. Good man. Him and Max are good friends, have been for the last few years. Recently divorced.”

“I don’t understand,” you said slowly. Anxiety started to bubble in your stomach. She’s giving you way too much information on a man you don’t even know. “This sounds like… Why’re you telling me this?”

“So you can make friends,” Lottie replied. “I know moving to a new area can be scary, especially if you don’t know anyone. Rick’s a good man; he’s a cop too, if that helps. Trust me, I think you’d like him.”

“I don’t know.” You shook your head. With your ex, you’d had a few run-ins with the police. Neighbors who’d call if there’d been an argument, only for the cops to not do anything in the end. You’d prayed and wished that they’d see something—how scared you looked, how you wouldn’t talk or look them in the eyes; they never did. Your ex could talk his way out of anything. After a while, you didn’t really trust cops. You were too scared to call them, and those who came due to neighbor intervention always left. It made you feel even more trapped and isolated. And he seemed to pick up on that.

“If you’re not comfortable, that’s fine,” Lottie said, trying for a smile. “We can take our time. There are plenty of nice people here.”

You didn’t respond, looking down at Moose. The puppy had stopped his nibble attack, instead going for resting his head on your lap. You absently rubbed his ear, trying to distract yourself from your rising anxiety.

“How about we watch a movie?” she asked after a moment of tense silence. “Whatever you want.”

You looked up for the briefest moment before glancing down at the dog. “It doesn’t matter to me,” you said, the comment automatic. “Whatever you want to watch is fine.”

With a soft sigh, Lottie nodded. “Give me a minute, I’ll get some snacks ready first.”

You nodded wordlessly. Part of you felt bad, your reaction obviously causing a shift in the general atmosphere. Things had been going well for the last couple hours, but then you had to make it about you again. Running your hands over your face, you close your eyes for a moment. You always seemed to make everything so difficult. It’s not fair to Lottie. Or Max. Or anyone else. It’s your fault. It’s always your fault. Blowing things out of proportion, making everything about you, never being grateful for what you have—maybe Ethan’s right.

You flinch at the thought, at the name. Ethan. The man you spent five years with. The man who made your life a living hell. You could practically hear him in your head, voice condescending and bitter. Angry, loud, cold. Your stomach twisted nauseatingly. Opening your eyes, you looked at the tv in front of you. Your mood had shifted, no longer did you want to be in Lottie’s company. And as much as you enjoyed Moose, you didn’t want to be around him either. You needed space.

“Lottie?” you called, your voice hoarse and thick with emotion.

“Yeah?” she exclaimed. “Everything okay?”

You swallowed thickly. “I, I think I’m going to lay down for a bit. I’m kind of tired.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. You can watch a movie, I just…” Anxiety started to overflow, your voice wavering off mid-sentence. You took a breath to regain your composure. “I need some me time.”

“Okay just, just let me know if you need anything.” Her voice sounded uncertain.

You mumbled out a response before gently moving Moose’s head from your lap. He looked up at you with those big brown eyes. Guilt started to ooze out the longer you looked at the puppy’s face. How could you leave him? Why would you want to? But you needed to. Giving him a final rub and a small smile, you left to your room. Gently closing the door, you sat on the edge of your bed.

Your room didn’t help much. It felt small, like the walls were closing in on you. The air felt thin and your breathing became labored. Your heart was beating so fast it felt about ready to jump out of your chest. Every breath you took sounded like a train, making you wince. Closing your eyes, you tried taking deep breaths. Your hands gripped the edge of the bed, nails digging into the bedding and blankets.

Stop being so dramatic. Ethan’s voice rang in your head, so clear you were almost convinced he was in the room with you. Tears flooded your eyes, a strangled sob escaping your mouth. You always make a big deal out of everything, you know that? You’re so fucking selfish! Everything’s always gotta be about you and your damn feelings. I don’t care about how you feel, do you understand me? So just shut up and deal with it.

You felt your skin prickle, fear mingling with the overwhelming anxiety. His words continued to bounce around in your head, and everything only got worse. The room suddenly felt like a prison. The air had been knocked out of your lungs. Your head was spinning and your heart was slamming against your ribs. Every fiber in your body was screaming that you’re in trouble, in some kind of danger—get out!

Abruptly standing, you threw your door open and rushed out. You barely registered Lottie as you hurried out the front door, gasping for air like a fish out of water. You leaned forward, your hands resting on your thighs as you desperately tried to steady your breathing. It wasn’t even a minute later that you felt a hand on your back, causing you to jump forward, stumbling to regain your footing. You whirled around to see who’d touched you, trembling and still struggling to breathe.

Lottie stood behind you, worry and fear etched on her face. “Y/N?” she said, her voice quiet but cautious. “What’s wrong? How can I help?”

You could only shake your head, unable to find the words. Lottie had a hand stretched out, hesitant. Her eyes were questioning, asking permission to touch you. You looked down. Lottie put a hand on your shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Your brain hardly processed what she was doing.

It didn’t take long for the guilt to rear its ugly head. The guilt that maybe you were being selfish, that Ethan was right and you always made everything about you. You couldn’t go one day without causing a scene or blowing things out of proportion.

Maybe leaving wasn’t your smartest idea.

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[orionsangel86]

But this makes no sense because we know that Cas was cut from the finale. This is FACT.--- interesting how you say FACT but don't follow up with any proofs. The source talking to Min about the finale days before it aired (and giving accurate info about it) confirmed the the 5 days of filming that Misha was talking about is false, because Cas wasn't even in the first draft. His story was officially over.

The source who confirmed to MIN (ha) before the finale aired (so November) said that Cas wasn’t in the first draft... so that source is calling MISHA a liar right? MISHA?

Because the source of the 5 days is MISHA himself. From M&Gs in MARCH.

Right let me try and sort out this timeline for y’all because you really will just believe anything some random source from a known fandom manipulator and liar is telling you sure.

*rubs temples*

March 2020

A “reputable and well like actor/cast member” told fans either at a Feb/March convention or something similar at the time that they were nervous because the finale script was still not complete, the writers were “frantically rewriting” due to requests for changes from higher ups. There was tension and discomfort among cast and crew that the finale script wouldn’t be complete in time for filming (which at that point was still only 2 weeks away before they shut down for covid) (the source of this is doing the internet rounds and has been since before summer from what I can tell. Its not new.)

15x18 filmed, “sources” at the time confirm to fans that there is a destiel scene and confirm that Cas dies but also that Cas is in the finale.

Sources also confirm that there was a small send off to the cast due to breaking up for covid. No one at the time said anything about this being a goodbye send off to Misha/Cas. It was a pre lockdown goodbye. Misha was supposed to still come back.

At a March Con, there are 2 Misha M&Gs. In 1 of them, Misha confirms Cas dies in 18 and that he was happy with the way Cas went. He also confirms that he will be back for the finale, but doesn’t elaborate. When asked if he thinks we will like the finale, he hesitates before saying it could go “one of two ways”. Read into that as you will.

The other M&G Misha confirms basically the same thing, but is pressed on his return to film. Misha confirms he expects to return to film for a further 5 days.

It is worth noting that Misha at this con was emotionally drained and “not himself” according to fans.

Everyone assumes that Misha being “not himself” at the con was because he was sad Cas dies, but he kept saying that he was happy with Cas’s death and proud of it. So I doubt that is what was bothering Misha. Could it be that he was aware of the constant finale script changes and he knew that there was fuckery going on even at that point which was putting his return into uncertainty?

Summer 2020 (Lockdown)

Misha confirms over zoom call with Michael Sheen that he is returning to film the finale. He also talks about grabbing Cas’s trenchcoat before he left because he was worried he might not come back again due to the pandemic and he wanted to keep Cas’s coat - also fits with the theory that maybe Misha was worried/ unsure if his role in the finale was safe at that point - but worth noting that as of August 2020 Misha was still being kept on tenderhooks about his role in the finale.

November 2020 (SPN returns and the narrative changes)

Suddenly all the “sources” have changed their story. One source confirms that Cas is no longer returning. Specifically says to someone who I trust that he was supposed to be in 20 but wasn’t anymore, but there are some clips of his voice in one of the episodes) (I didn’t want to believe this at first when I got this info before 19 aired but god I wish I’d listened.)

Please note that this source was correct about the voice stuff and also confirmed that he WAS initially in 20 but got cut.

Misha films a goodbye and thankyou video for the CW, reasserting the narrative that 18 was his last episode and suddenly there is all this confirmation that the goodbye cast party for lockdown was “for Misha” all along (it wasn’t).

Misha speaks to a fan and when asked about the script changes, he talks about coming back as Jimmy Novak for around “half a day” but that it wasn’t worth the quarantine. Fandom goes mad.

Misha also says that the finale was supposed to have a big reunion in 20 with the roadhouse crew and lots of Deans loved ones (but not Cas). Sam Ferris goes OFF on Twitter confirming this is bullshit. (I do NOT believe Misha lied here, I think that he was repeating a lie someone else told him as an excuse for him not returning.)

Jackles silently seethes in sexy sexy silence.

So, here is all the info I have and know about Misha and Cas being cut. You don’t have to believe me. I honestly don’t care if you do or not. But this is what I believe and nothing you or anyone (and certainly not a known fandom manipulator trying to twist the narrative to make them seem like an all knowing “i was right all along” type) can say will change this.

This info in my opinion all adds up to Cas initially being a big part of the script in initial drafts, then getting cut more and more due to network meddling and a desire to remove any Destiel ambiguity/keep focus on Sam/brother bond.

My own personal narrative (simply because the visual brings me joy and I’m clinging to it) is that Cas was cut completely in a version of the script around early summer, which leads to Jensen going OFF at everyone demanding they bring Misha back for the finale, so the writers add him in as Jimmy Novak as an attempt to satisfy Jensen, honour Misha, and satisfy the Network who at this point has told them NO CAS. Misha gets this version of the script (possibly the first version he has actually seen) and turns it down (probably because he sees it as a huge insult and tells them to fuck off as he should). Jensen then spends every hour of every day since only gushing about 15x18 and keeping silent or subtley throwing shade at the finale.

(To be clear I have made up the above paragraph because the concept is hilarious to me and Jackles sexy silence and fierce protection of Misha gives me life, but you gotta admit its in character and is the only explanation I can come up with for the absolutely ridiculous idea of bringing Misha back as Jimmy Novak)

Look, we are never gonna know the truth, but I have been holding onto the information from March for a whole year. The only thing that got me through the summer knowing Cas was dying in 18 was this mantra:

“Cas will be back Misha is filming 20 Cas will be back Misha films for 5 days Cas will be back because Misha is filming Misha has 5 days to film he’ll be a big part of the episode Cas will be back...”

Literally ALL SUMMER this was my brain so DO NOT tell me the information I clung on to for months was false. It was NOT false, it was the truth in March. It just wasn’t the truth any more in November thanks to a meddling asshole network and writers and execs who didn’t care enough to fight back.

I will NOT be gaslit by this November false narrative.

#spn conspiracy theories #castiel #destiel #anti spn finale #the randic nutwork #fuck the november narrative change #don't believe the bullshit #asks #anon #Anonymous

[roo-bastmoon]

You are so humble.. thankyou for answering my ask And i didn't mean like jk was gonna cheat on jimin with tae. I Also believe tae is straight and in men....i think jimin is the most important to him . But i don't know...i don't get the same vibe from jk now. In their debut days he said he's selfish...and thn between 2016 to 2018...i saw a different jk with jimin whose no more selfish and prioritize jimin but now i feel jk is back the way he is in his debut days. You know there comes a phase sometimes in a long term relationships when one started to feel like evry thing becomes so normal now? Like nothing feels new...and u just don't feel in love anymore but just feels stable in a relationship?? I feel jk in that phase...i don't see any strong feelings from his side...and that's bcz may b he's always the one who was loudest the most between them? Jimin was always so responsible and he hides pretty well but now it's opposite...or may be i am wrong or its just that jk also taking responsibility for the group and for his career more??? That's why he's behaving distant now?? I don't know...or may be there is nothing ever going on between them and we all are wrong to assume things...and jk made fool of us by his GCFs😂😂😂😂. But the thing i do believe is that...jk can fall out of love easily now anytime soon if he didn't already but jimin still looks in love with jk and as responsible as ever in every thing.

I hear all you're saying and you're not crazy to worry about these things. A lot of times my fellow Jikookers really attack fans for having doubts or worries, and I'm sure dealing with insecurity gets annoying, but to lambaste people for noticing a change in dynamics is just irrational. I have zero interest in belonging to a cult that insists on group-think.

It's puzzling to me that for years JK pushed Jimin away (literally into walls), then orbited him like a satellite and looked for any excuse to touch him (watching him stroke Jimin's hands while unboxing CDs--I felt like I needed to leave the room to give them some privacy!), and now is rarely initiating anything or sharing any info about their times together (when he used to be a Jimin encyclopedia). These are changes worth noting. They are happening before our eyes. We are not imagining the vibes, here.

It's not up to us to predict what it all means, because we aren't them. But just observing the changes is not anti behavior. Now, if we were all to go around accusing JK of abusing Jimin, that would be pretty toxic. But to ponder if Jimin is being given as much care, attention, and respect as he gives these days? I wonder that myself a lot.

I should probably note that I'm a 43-year-old white American woman who works at a nonprofit and rescues stray cats. I'm big on expressing all 5 love languages and I'm a lot more like Jimin and Hobi in personality than I am like JK. I'm not sure I have any insight into the mind of a 24-year-old South Korean gorgeous pop star who has known his (supposed) partner for a decade now. Maybe he's going through the normal growing pains of loving someone from a very young age and trying to navigate a closeted relationship in the public eye in the middle of some extremely tumultuous times.

There are instances where JK looks to be damned near obsessed with Jimin, and other instances where JK looks like he's never met Jimin a day in his life. Yet he's consistently touchy-feely with every other member. I have real trouble gauging his true feelings; I only know that Jimin is the exception to his every rule.

But Jimin and the other members don't seem confused, so, I just withhold judgement on the Jikook issue until I get super solid evidence one way or the other. I think we are going to get far less instances of Jikookery in official content during solo era, and if that's the case, I'd just suggest (if you're looking for suggestions) we remember that we are only seeing a very small sliver of their reality. As long as they don't seem tense / angry / silent / derisive of each other, let's just assume they are okay, whether they are romantically together or not. Let's follow Jimin's request, and take them at their word.

After all, since that Vlive you mentioned, we have had plenty of shining moments during concerts, White Day together, two firm declarations on Vlive of Jimin belonging to JK and JK insisting he will keep holding him and that they hug, eating out late at night and singing at their lone table together, boxing together, playing games at an arcade together, and JK mercilessly teasing Jimin about being upset at not hearing his solo songs yet (as if he should obviously have had proprietary access). I won't even get into the conspiracy theory stuff where Jimin's mixing bowls might have been in the Vlive at JK's kitchen or the rumors that they went out to celebrate Left & Right together--all of that is unsubstantiated, and we don't need to rely on hearsay when there are hundreds of instances of truly solid evidence of a genuine bond.

So whether they are romantic partners or friends, they clearly are okay with being together. <3