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#either it's being down on yourself for No Reason
kenntolog · 22 hours
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it’s 3 in the morning. satoru probably shouldn’t be out this late, but it feels right to be sitting on a random bench on the side of a street, gazing at the sky mindlessly with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. unlit.
though, the bench is ‘random’ only for the idle people walking by, the light screeching or clicking of their shoes being one of the things that disturb the peaceful ambiance surrounding him. another thing is the ringing of his phone, echoing in his mind along the empty street.
the beeping seems just as infinite as the time he spent sitting on this bench, by the entrance of the apartment complex where your flat, the rough wooden plates doing nothing for his hurting back. somehow, when you were sitting with him here, after long dates that never seemed to end because of much you both loved to unintentionally prolong them.
satoru moves the phone away from his face, face scrunching in disappointment before he once again sees the time and tries to accept the fact that you’re probably sleeping, deep into your fantasies in the dreamland, and he should probably bother you later.
he promised himself that if you won’t pick up the phone he will light the cigarette stick. you don’t like it when he smokes, but you wouldn’t know he did, right? and it’s either he spends the night with you or a pack of cigarettes.
sighing heavily, gojo pulls out the lighter, the end of the cigarette now burning red before dimming down. just as he’s about to inhale, the familiar ringtone hits his ears and when he is met with the picture of you on the screen of his phone, with your name shining as brightly as your smile, satoru throws away the stick, hurriedly answering your call.
“sato?”
a soft smile stretches on his lips when he recognises the sleepy rasp of your voice, indicating to him that he did indeed wake you up.
“sweetheart.”
“you okay, baby?”
frankly, satoru is far from okay.
the reason why he’s been sitting on the bench under your building for an hour now being that he is surprisingly unsure if he should go bother you this late because he hates being alone after missions. the part of him that doesn’t accept the words ‘personal space’ wants to barge in and mess with you a little before coddling you to sleep.
the adequate part of him knows you’re exhausted too. but it’s still hard to let go and deal with the troubles that have been building up for a while now alone. he just needs you to hold him and maybe kiss him a little. talk to him and call him by his name sweetly.
tell him that you love him.
make him feel human again.
satoru is so so tired.
“d’you think i could come over?”
“aren’t you already here?”
right. he huffs out a chuckle as he looks up only to see your face a few metres above, hanging over your balcony and waving at him with your free hand. he waves back, eyes never leaving you as you both stare at each other for a brief moment, silence overtaking the line.
you disappear inside rapidly, closing the balcony door behind yourself, “i’ll keep the door unlocked.”
“thank you, sweetheart.”
his steps are finally relaxed, shoulders weighing him down a little as he walks to the elevator, getting inside and pressing the number of your floor. suppressing a long yawn, satoru lets his the frown on face completely fade away, already prepared to be enveloped by you and your magical aura.
the door is unlocked, as you promised. he doesn’t waste time on anything other than taking his jacket off in the darkness of your hallway and hurriedly striding over to your room, the door of which is slightly open.
and there you are. his precious little baby, the sunshine of his own, the apple of his eye, his everything; laying on the bed and waiting for him to join you, your expectant yet soft gaze never leaving his face as he takes off the rest of his clothes, discarding them on the floor with no care.
it’s so nice to be in your arms, though. satoru wouldn’t change it for anything. there is no need to ask if he’s had a rough day, no need to talk about yours and say anything, because it’s almost half past four and you both would rather sleep, leaving all the tough talk for the morning.
you kiss his cheeks, he hugs you closer to himself, arms tightening around your waist as he moves his limbs around just to have more skin to skin contact.
the feeling of your lips on his, a kiss so light and feathery he would have barely sensed it if he was asleep, it brings him back, back to you. satoru responds with a gentle press of his own mouth to your chin, trailing soft nips to your neck and then your chest, stopping right where your heart is.
right where his heart is.
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Can you do a fic of jealous art donaldson?
yes omw 🙏🏽🙏🏽this is a bit short tho sorry bb
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What the two of you had was not exclusive. That had not been said explicitly by either of you but safely assumed by both. It was an unspoken agreement you two had reached at some point during this whole affair: you weren't looking for anything serious right now, just some harmless fun.
You didn't like to call it what you both knew it was — friends with benefits — because it felt too impersonal to say so. Ironic, considering being impersonal was exactly what a situation like yours required.
But it wasn't; there were way too many nights that ended with your head resting against his chest, his hand tracing patterns across the top of your arms and between your shoulder blades and lips pressing soft kisses to the top of your head after he had asked you to stay the night. Too many times where you were the first person he'd call after a hard day, just needing to hear your voice to feel better. Too many times, he'd look for your face in the crowd on the pavillion, a smile stretching across his face when he'd find you sitting front row.
So, at times, it was hard to say the two of you haven't become close over the last few months because you definitely have. It was also harder to admit to yourself that the only reason you even gave Henry, the boy in your economics class, the time of day was because you thought it'd help take your mind off of your ever growing crush on Art. You'd regret it immediately after, feeling as though you were stringing the poor guy along.
You felt ten times worse when Art had asked you about it, too.
"What's up with you and Henry these days?" he had quietly asked as his mouth continued its painstakingly slow pace down your body, pressing feather light kisses to every area of exposed skin.
Your hand ran through his blond hair, frowning at the mention of Henry. "Nothing," you answered, "why do you ask?"
He shrugged as he lifted his head, resting his chin on your chest. Both of your hands ran through his hair now. "I'm just curious," he reassoned, shifting his head to kiss the skin peaking from the top of your bra. "I just don't really like him," he added.
"That's too bad," you sighed as his warm hands gripped your upper legs, bringing one higher to rest on his hip, "because I have a date with him tomorrow night."
It almost scared you how fast he stopped what he was doing, looking up at you with eyebrows furrowed. "Really?" he asked, scowl deepening when you laughed, the sound reverberating through his chest.
"No, I'm just joking," you said, thumb smoothing over the crease in his brows as you watched his face soften. "I just wanted to see what you would do."
He huffed, head bending down to place another kiss to the soft skin above the soft lace trimmings of your bra, hands continuing to rub your legs gently. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous," you laughed, the sound quickly turning into a shriek when he lightly bit you in retaliation to your teasing.
"Of course I'm jealous," he sated very matter-of-factly, lips now between the valley of your breasts, kissing the bra's little bow. "Why are you jealous, Art?" you asked softly, gently lifting his head so that he'd look at you again. "You know why," he sighed, eyes closing when he felt your nails lightly scratch against his scalp.
"I wanna hear you say it."
His eyes reopened, moving up your body until you were face to face. You held his face in your hands, and he kissed the corner of the mouth. "Because," another kiss to the other side, "I want you all myself," he admitted. You smiled unabashedly at that, body warming at his admission. "You could have that if you asked," you countered, and he hummed in amusement. "Can I be your boyfriend? Would you like that?" You rolled your eyes playfully, pretending to be in thought for a moment. "I'd like that."
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ktgoodmorning · 3 days
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Let me take care of you
Alexia x teen!reader
Angst with some comfort at the end. TW for car accident and kinda a rough family life but nothing too crazy. Based on that request I posted yesterday :)
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Masterlist
“Has anyone seen Chiquita?” The captain wasn’t really directing the question at anyone in particular, just whoever was nearby and willing to listen. You were never late. The fact that you hadn’t arrived at the stadium yet was weird to Alexia. You were always early. Really early. Everyone knew you tended to be anxious about being late to things and constantly overcompensated by making yourself far earlier than anyone needed you to be. 
Cata seemed to be one of the only few that heard her question in the chaos of the locker room . “We still have twenty minutes before we’re even supposed to be here. I’m sure she’s on her way, half the team isn’t here yet, there’s plenty of time.” 
“Yeah but we all know how weird that is for her, she’s always really early, maybe I should call her?” 
“Ale,” Mapi laid her hand on the blonde's shoulder in an attempt to calm her nerves. “I’m sure she’s just running a little late. She’ll probably walk in any second now.” The unsurety was clear on Alexia’s face, not quite believing her best friend’s words. “Give it a few more minutes and if she’s still not here, then give her a call.” Alexia nodded, still full of tension but doing her best to remain calm. 
She knew that logically everyone was right. It was still early. She had no reason to be worried about you. Most of the other younger girls weren’t here yet either, why wasn’t she worried about them? But not only was it unusual for you to not be unhealthily early to everything, it was even more unusual that you hadn’t texted her. You always let your captain know if you were running late, even if it still put you at your destination thirty minutes early, you were constantly worried about being late. 
The usually calm and collected captain, had her foot bouncing rapidly as she sat in front of her locker, subconsciously biting at her nails and getting herself worked up over you. She couldn’t help but let her thoughts wander to the absolute worst possible reasons you wouldn’t be here yet.
 “Hey, Ale, I’m sure she’s fine. But why don’t you give her a call, just to calm your nerves?” Mapi knew the woman well enough to know that no matter what she said, her words would mean nothing to Alexia when she was already this worked up. 
The blonde responded with a quick nod while she frantically pulled up your contact. She had already had her phone in hand, checking constantly to see if you texted her, so it didn’t take long to get her phone ringing. All it did was ring. It felt like a lifetime had passed before she heard the sound of your voicemail. 
The sound immediately made her panic, even more than she already had been. It didn’t help when she saw the same look of panic cross Mapi’s eyes as well. 
“Guys, she probably just isn’t answering because she’s driving. She’s still not even late yet, don’t worry.” 
“No, Cata! (y/n) always answers if she’s driving! Her phone is connected to her car so she can’t miss it.” Alexia was practically yelling, not out of anger, just because of how worried she was. 
“And we know she always gets bored when she’s driving! She loves having someone on the phone!” The fact that Mapi was taking this just as seriously as Alexia was a red flag to everyone. Clearly if the two of them were both this worked up, they had a good reason to be.
All your teammates could do to make sure you were okay was continue blowing up your phone with calls and texts, praying they’d get any kind of response. Even if it was just that your car had broken down somewhere or that you were sick in bed, at least they’d know something horrible hadn’t happened. The unknown was what killed them. They had no idea where you were or what was going on and there was nothing they could do about it. 
When the time came that you were officially late, Alexia came to the conclusion that something was officially wrong. There’s no way you would be late. Ever. 
She rushed to get herself game-ready so she could spend the rest of the time before the match tracking you down. Her ponytail was sloppier than she ever let it get on game day, but at the moment she didn’t care, you were the only thing on her mind. 
You were basically a younger sister to your captain. A mix between her younger sister and her child. She was protective over you, even more than she was the other younger players. You were only 18 and had bonded so closely when you joined the team, she couldn’t help but think of you that way. The two of you were extremely similar and she wanted nothing more than to protect you from the world. She didn’t want you to have to face the same criticism as she always did, even if it came from yourself at times. 
The captain decided that she needed to track down the coaching staff and let them know what was going on. Soon they’d be looking for you anyways when they realized you were gone, so she may as well let them know now in hopes they’d have some way of helping.
Mapi was following close behind her as they ran down the hallway to the offices, bursting through the door the second they reached the right one. 
Jona still looked shocked from the captain’s sudden entrance when she started shouting. “Has anyone heard from (y/n)?! She’s still not here and she won’t answer our calls and nobody’s heard from her, I think something’s wrong!” The man still seemed stunned at her lack of composure while he tried to process her words, but the silence aggravated her further. “Can I please drive to her apartment and see if she’s okay? I’m really worried about her, she wouldn’t just do this.” 
This only confused the coach, obviously shocked by her willingness to miss part of their game. “Alexia, you can’t just leave. You’re supposed to be taking the pitch to warm up in a few minutes.” 
“I know, but I’m-”
“No. No buts Alexia. You’re the captain and you have a job to do. I know you’re worried about her, but we’ll have someone else look into it for you. We’re already unexpectedly down a player with (y/n) apparently gone, we can’t lose another one, especially not you. You go get ready. I’ll look into it.” 
The two girls couldn’t decide if they were heartbroken or infuriated. Probably a bit of both. They were both worried sick about you and Jona’s answer only frustrated them more. How were they supposed to play a game when they had no idea where you were or if you were even okay?
...
The game started rough, to say the least. Not for the team as a whole, thankfully. The team itself was doing just fine. But Alexia… Alexia was doing poorly. To anyone else, it looked like her brain wasn’t in her head. And to be fair, it wasn’t. It was on you. You were all she could think about, not even caring about the passes she missed and chances she didn’t take. She was trying so hard to get her head in a better spot, to convince herself that she was overreacting but she just couldn’t do it. The other girls seemed to be able to set it aside and focus on the game, holding onto their trust that whoever was tracking you down would do their job, but not Alexia. 
The second the whistle blew to signify half time, the captain found herself jogging straight to Jona to see if he had an update on you, but he spoke before she could even open her mouth. 
“Alexia we’re subbing you off, it’s clear your head’s not in the game, you’re like dead weight out there.” It was clear he wasn’t happy with her but for once in her life, she couldn’t be bothered about football right now. 
“That’s fine, did you get a hold of (y/n)? Is she okay?” 
“No not yet. She didn’t answer so we tried her emergency contact but-”
“Idiotas! I’m her emergency contact!” Alexia didn’t even bother hearing the coach’s response before she took off running to the locker room, praying she’d have a missed call or text from you. At this point, if she was already being subbed off, then she had no hesitation in going to your apartment to find her yourself if she had to, she just needed to know you were okay. 
When she got to her phone, she couldn’t decide if the five missed calls from you made her more relieved or more worried. On the one hand, at least you were alive. But on the other hand, you knew she’d be at the game so the fact that you called her at all was weird. She pressed your contact as she fumbled for her bag, grabbing whatever she could before running down the corridor towards her car. Nobody needed to question where she was going or what she was doing, everyone understood. 
As soon as she heard your voice on the other end of the line, the older woman let out a big breath and instantly froze in her tracks. “Dios mío, Chiquita, estás bien?” 
Under any other circumstances you would’ve made fun of her for how frantic she was being, but at the moment you didn’t even notice. What started as an attempt to keep your voice steady and avoid freaking her out further, only turned into a choked sob, which did exactly the opposite of what you hoped. 
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened? Where are you, I’m coming.” The sound of your crying sent her back into motion, rushing to get in her car and start driving in the direction of your apartment, hoping that was the right way. 
“I- I- I don’t know.” You shook your head rapidly, as if it would clear your mind. 
“Breathe for me, it’s okay. I’m coming. Are you at your apartment?”
“No. No, I don’t know.”
“Did something happen on your way to the stadium?” Alexia had this sinking feeling ever since she first noticed you were late, somehow already knowing what your answer would be.
“Yeah. Someone hit my car, I’m not far from my apartment. I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have distracted you from the game, but I just really needed you, Ale. I really need you here, I’m sorry, I’m sor-” Your own sobs cut you off, but it was maybe better than making her listen to the spiraling panic you were heading towards. 
“Hey, it’s okay I’m only a minute away, I’m almost there, just please try to take some deep breaths.” Alexia had become just as panicked as you were but she was doing everything in her power not to let you see that. She just needed to see you were okay. So she continued speeding, following the route he knew you would’ve taken, keeping her eyes peeling for any sign of you. 
It was only a second later when she noticed your car along the side of the road with the entire back bumper crumpled in. Alexia was flooded with emotions, relief that she had found you (or at least your car) but more panic now that she had seen what your car looked like. She slammed her foot on the brake to pull over behind your car and quickly spotted you, sitting on the curb in front of your car, knees pulled tight to your chest, sobbing. The sobbing wasn’t great but at least you were alive and relatively okay physically, it seemed like.
“Chiquita come here!” You hadn’t even noticed her pull up before he was engulfing you in her arms, pulling you in tightly against her chest, cradling your head while you cried. “You’re okay, I’ve got you. It’ll be alright, I’m here now, you’re okay” The longer you sat in her arms, your gasps for air became more and more sparse and her calming hands on you started to bring you back to your surroundings. Something about the way her hands drew light patterns over your skin always brought you back to earth, something she learned quickly when you started getting closer with each other. 
You didn’t have the best relationship with your parents so it wasn’t all that unusual for you to go to Alexia, upset with something they said to you, looking for some love. It was part of what made the two of you so close. She was the calming parental guidance in your life that you didn’t have otherwise. The whole team was really, but Alexia just filled that motherly role in a way nobody else could, not even your own mother. So this wasn’t the first time she had to calm you down in a situation like this, and unfortunately she knew it wouldn’t be the last. 
“Please talk to me, what happened Chiqui? Are you hurt?” her voice was soft and smooth and sounded like somehow it could solve all of your problems. It was impossible not to give in to her pleading. 
“Ale, I’m fine,” your voice was quiet, full of insecurity. “My car isn’t though and my parents are gonna kill me. I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell them.”
“Tell them what? What exactly happened?”
“I don’t know,  I was just on my way to the stadium and this car just came out of nowhere and hit me. I think they ran a red light or something, I don’t even know for sure…” you took a moment to look at your captain’s face, struggling to read her thoughts. She was trying to hide her worry from you, not letting you see how scared she was of the idea of losing you, even if she had you right here in her arms. “But I guess somebody called the police, and they came and dealt with all of it. They wanted to send me in an ambulance but I told them I was fine. And then I just didn’t know what to do so I freaked out and called you. And now here we are…” 
“You know it’s not your fault, right? If he ran a red light, there’s nothing you could’ve done to stop that. Your parents should understand that.”
You scoffed at her. Normally you would never scoff at her or risk disrespecting anything the older woman told you but it was safe to say you weren’t totally thinking straight. “Yeah they should understand that but it doesn’t mean they will. They should do a lot of things. They’re gonna kill me, Ale” 
Your voice was dripping in sarcasm but Alexia could hear the hurt coming through, especially as you trailed off at the end of your sentence. Something about your reaction felt more than just you being upset about your parents, she could tell there was something you were holding back from her still. “You’re not okay, chiqui, I can tell. Please just talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking, how you’re feeling.” She brushed your hair away from your face gently, just now taking a moment to take in your appearance. 
There were minor cuts scattered around your face, much more than she realized. Up until this point she had been so focused on calming you down that she hadn’t noticed anything else. Small shards of glass lined the road underneath your car, presumably from where your tail light and back window shattered. 
“I don’t know, Ale. I just don’t know how to tell my parent’s. They’re gonna freak out. What if they try to pull me from the team…” 
 “You’re eighteen now. They can’t do stuff like that anymore, remember. If they try to kick you out or anything, you can move in with me if you want, or I can help you find your own place. We’ll figure it out. But they can’t do any of that anymore, I promise.” She pulled away slightly, going to stand up, “Let’s get you back home so you can shower and get cleaned up, it looks like your hair is full of glass." The blonde just looked at you expectantly, assuming you'd move to follow her but was met with nothing in return.  
You tried your best to believe what she said about your parents but you just couldn’t shake the worries. You were so used to your parents exploding at you over every little thing, always threatening to pull you from the team. Even if it wasn’t possible now that you were older, you still couldn’t shake the feeling. The idea made you resort back to your usual safety net of trying to protect yourself. 
“It’s fine, I’m probably overreacting. I’m sorry for interrupting the game. I should probably let you get back to it. You can just drop me off at my building. Or I can walk too, it’s really not that far.” You started to push away from the older woman, away from the safety that she provided you. 
Alexia grabbed your arm gently to keep you from pushing her away, knowing exactly what you were doing, but the small action made you wince. The second you noticed the pain shoot through your wrist, you tried to hide the look on your face, but knew you failed when you saw Alexia’s eyes go wide and immediately drop her hold on you. “What is wrong?! Are you hurt?!” 
You used your hand that wasn’t currently throbbing to push her away further. At this point you’d reverted too far back into your own head to use any sort of logic. “Alexia! I’m fine! You don’t need to worry about me, I don’t need your help! Just go back to the stadium so you can still catch the end of the game.”
You should’ve known that Alexia wouldn’t be swayed by your outburst and that it only further convinced her that something else was wrong that you weren’t telling her. This wasn’t like you, at least not with her, and you both knew it. 
“(y/n), look at me!” Her voice was harsher than it had been before, but obviously her soft approach was no longer working. “I have every right to be worried about you, you’re basically family to me and I think you know that.” Your eyes dropped, suddenly ashamed of how you were treating the person who cared about you most. Somehow you had to ruin this too. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not hurt,” as soon as your eyes lowered, so did her voice because she had been in your position more times than she could count and knew exactly how you were feeling. 
Your lack of response was all the confirmation she needed, but to be fair, you didn’t lie to her. You truly hadn’t noticed how badly your arm had been hurting until she had grabbed you. It must have been the adrenaline or the shock from the accident but you had no idea how bad it was until now. Now that you noticed it though, it was killing you. Every attempt to move your fingers sent pain radiating up your arm and throughout that entire side of your body. You’d been lucky with injuries so far, so this couldn’t compare to anything you had felt before.
 Your captain could see the way that tears started welling up in your eyes again and how you bit your lip to try to hold it all in. The look on your face only broke her heart further, wishing there was anything she could do to take away your hurt, both physical and emotional. “I don’t care if you don’t want my help, Chiquita, you’re getting it anyways. I hope you know by now how much you mean to me, so please, just let me take care of you.”
You nodded frantically at her, doing anything you could to prevent your tears from spilling out but knowing you’d fail the second you opened your mouth. You knew it was ridiculous that you were trying to stop yourself when she’d already had you sobbing in her arms just a few minutes earlier but something still made you hold back. At this point you were in so much pain though, you didn’t even care anymore, you just needed her help and you finally knew it.
Alexia engulfed you in a big hug once again, causing you to finally let it all out. It was like that was what broke the damn. You sobbed violently in your captain’s arms. The way you were acting now made your earlier crying look like it was nothing. It was the culmination of the shock from the accident, along with mixed feelings about your parents, your gratefulness for Alexia, exhaustion from the events of the season, and physical pain. So much pain. You couldn’t put any of your thoughts into words, other than crying and the occasional “Hurts, Ale.” You were a crying, whimpering, mess in her arms. 
The Catalonian quickly realized that the extent of your reaction was now mostly being caused by the newfound pain in your arm and that treating your pain would be the quickest way to help you calm down. Whatever your injury was, it had to be somewhat serious or else you wouldn’t be crying this hard, so she knew she had to get you to a doctor. 
When she started pulling away from you to stand up, you grabbed her shirt with your good hand, and yelled at her. “NO! Stay here, Ale! Please!” Heart wrenching was an understatement. 
“I’m just trying to help you, Chiqui, we need to get you to the hospital so they can help with your arm, you’re in a lot of pain.” Somehow you could process her words enough to know she was right, letting up your hold on her shirt so she could stand and pick you up to bring you to her car. She was as careful with your arm as she could possibly be but still every step she took left you sobbing into her chest even more. “I know it hurts, you’re doing so great. We’ll be there before you know it.” Alexia continued whispering to you as she got you both in the car and started driving. Your captain had done this enough to know that it wouldn’t do much but at the very least it might slightly distract you from the pain you were feeling. 
On your way to the hospital, she gave the club a quick call, knowing the game was over and wanting to give them the update that she was with you. She asked them to pass the message on to the rest of the team because she knew most of them were likely freaking out just as much as she was. You were the team baby, and everyone wanted to know you were alive and relatively okay. 
When she glanced over and saw you staring off into space, tears flowing freely, curled up on her front seat, holding your arm to your chest, she knew she needed to call your parents. If nothing else, they could help figure out how to get your car off the street. And as much as you were freaking out about telling them, she thought it might go over better coming from her. It was clear you were in your own little world, not paying her any attention when she cradled her phone between her ear and her shoulder to talk to them. 
As she filled them in on what happened, she knew that it was better that she was one bearing the brunt of their response instead of you. No matter how much she tried to assure them that it wasn’t your fault, they made plenty of comments about how you should have been more responsible or how she didn’t need to take you to the hospital because you were probably just overreacting. That one really killed her. How could they not believe you when she was sure they could hear you crying in the background? She had already been planning on having you stay with her that night but their reactions only sealed the deal. There was no way Alexia could send you back with them instead of coming home with her where she could take care of you and make sure you were safe.
...
By the time you really became aware of the situation again, you were sitting on a hospital bed in the emergency room. Alexia was next to you, holding your good hand in hers and you were suddenly feeling significantly better. “Chiquita! How are you feeling?” Alexia had immediately taken notice of the tiniest movements you made as you woke up and adjusted to your surroundings. You groaned when you realized how stiff you were feeling. Apparently getting hit by a car can do that to you. “Better than I did before, I guess. What’d the doctors say?”
She flashed a smile at you, one that told you you’d be okay. “Well they gave you some pain meds pretty quick, that’s why you’re feeling better. You broke one of the bones in your arm. They think it probably got caught on the steering wheel when you got hit. But it’s a clean break, no surgery or anything, just this cast for a while.” You followed her eyes down to your arm where you could see the cast poking out from the edges of the ice packs they had wrapped around it, trying to adjust it slightly so you could see what color they had used. 
“Ale, don’t tell me they let you pick the color?” 
Alexia let out a small laugh, her first one all day, at the way your usual personality was returning. “The pain meds knocked you out pretty good, they couldn’t trust you to pick one! You were hardly making sense, they had to ask me!” you looked at her suspiciously, knowing exactly what she would’ve picked.
“Don’t tell me you…” 
“I almost did, but no,” she giggled at how well you knew her. “I was going to tell them Barca colors but I decided I better give you your favorite instead.” The older woman rolled her eyes playfully at you. 
“Does that mean it’s-”
“Yes, it’s pink, chiquita.”
“Yay! Ale, thank you!!” you tried your best to pull her in for a hug which didn’t quite work from your spot on the hospital bed. When you decided to give up and settle back into your spot, you met her with a more serious look. “Thank you for everything, Ale. Really. Thank you for leaving the game to take care of me, I know I should’ve called my parents but I just…” 
“I know, I know. You don’t have to thank me. But will you please sleep at my place tonight? You need the rest and I just want to make sure you’re taken care of. I already talked to your parents for you. They’re dealing with your car, so that’s all taken care of. Just please, let me take care of you.”
Neither of you expected you to give in to her offer so easily but there was no way you could turn her down after everything she’d just done for you. Sometimes the idea of letting her take care of you was too much for you, but not right now. You finally had come to terms with how much you needed her and there wasn’t any way you’d mess that up now.
Any feedback and requests are always welcome!!
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venusblakes · 9 hours
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— ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ caught in the act ◞ dean winchester !
◟ ☆ ݁ ⋆ ꒱ dean covering you with his leather jacket whenever sam accidentally catches y’all in the front seat of the impala.│female reader x dean winchester . mild language, smut smut smut, unprotected sex, creampie, riding, public sex?? kinda (you’re in a car but still) !
authors note, thought of this today and i needed to write something for it ugh
taglist, @heartsforvin @priestsgf @cosmicanakin @1-800-whitemanswhore @summerbells (lmk if you wanna be added!)
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you’ve been waiting all week long to get some alone time with dean, you’ve held out urges and been on a good enough behavior, but between this case taking so long to finish along with sam bursting through yours and dean’s motel room unannounced you’ve been slowly loosing your mind,
the ache between your thighs only seemed to grow and grow the more time you’ve spent around him, and dean didn’t help that either, with his smug smirks and lingering touches, all of it combined caused you to develop somewhat of a raging attitude towards both winchester brothers,
poor sam did try to talk to you, but you blew him off pretty harshly, which in all fairness to him, he didn’t understand why you were so on edge, but nonetheless he pretty much chalked it up to it being that time of the month for you and didn’t bother mentioning it further,
meanwhile dean on the other hand was revealing in the torture, he loved watching the way your eyes would trail down his body whenever he was cleaning his weapons, or the way your thighs would clench whenever his hands would grip the steering wheel of his impala, he especially loved the subtle moans and whimpers you’d let out whenever his hand got dangerously close to your sopping cunt
and although he didn’t seem like it, dean was slowly going crazy as he hadn’t touched you in nearly a week. see from the moment you and dean had met, you’ve been each others release, first starting off as friends with benefits before slowly developing into a romantic relationship, but regardless of the title, the point is that ever since you’ve met, you’ve never spent more than a couple days without touching one another, so this week had been more than harsh on the both of you.
you’ve tried getting yourself off in the shower or whenever you were left alone in the hotel room for whatever reason, but you couldn’t seem to get close enough to the edge, and the suspense of your ongoing stop and go for your release was evidently tearing you apart, so the moment that the three of you had stopped in the middle of the night at a diner - you decided that right now you were going to do what you’ve been looking forward to all week long
as dean pulls up the gravel driveway on the dingy 24 hour diner, he sighs shoving the gear shift to park, sam shifts from his place in the backseat, rubbing his eyes and letting out a tired yawn as he sits up
“where are we?” he mumbles, dean places his arm over the seat and turns to speak but you quickly cut him off
“outside of utah.” although you tried to hide the annoyed and frustrated tone, it slipped through nonetheless, and sam’s eyes widened slightly and he raised his hands up in defense,
“jeez, sorry.” he huffs, “i have to pee,” he says, his voice now softer than before, as he tried not to further annoy you
letting out a heavy sigh you open your door and step out, the sway of your hips as you turn and bend down to shove your seat forward to give him room to get out makes dean bring his hand over his jeans, cupping his cock through the materiel as to adjust himself, meanwhile sam wastes absolutely no time in hopping out and quickly making his way towards the building
as soon as sam’s out of your way you shove the seat back in his original place and hop in with a huff, closing the door behind you. once you’re back in the car you lean back against the seat and bring your hand to run through your hair as you sigh,
“damn baby, did you really have to be so short with sammy?” he asked, his usual smirk playing on the corner of his perfectly plump lips as he spoke
you shrugged, “he’s just been bugging me.”
“he’s been asleep this whole time.” dean laughed, and you threw your hands up, “okay, whatever!”
“you acting this way because you’re horny?” his words caught you off guard, definitely.
and as you turn to look at him, ready to tear him a new one for tasting you, your eyes softened as you take in his features, he looked so beautiful right here, his green eyes now dark and heavily clouded with lust, his freckles on full display as the rusty old street light shined down through his window and onto his face, and his lips, oh god his lips, so plump and soft looking, and before you could stop yourself you’re leaning over and pressing your lips to his harshly
dean’s initially caught off guard but manages to get situated pretty quickly, his hands moving to your waist and pulling you over and placing you on his lap, while yours glide up the sides of his face to his hair, your fingers tangling with the blonde roots, tugging and pulling on it softly
he felt so good, tasted so good, everything about him was intoxicating to you, he was like a drug and you were the addict, and you’ve been going through withdrawals all week
totally forgetting where you were for a second you pull back and cross your arms, fingers grasping onto the hems of your shirt, lifting it halfway before dean stopped you
“baby, we’re in public.” he breathes, his lips now covered in your smeared lipstick, and you just shrug, leaning forward some and placing your hand on his cheek
“i don’t care, i need you.” you whisper, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to his neck, right below his ear, “please.” dean chuckled lowly, “alright, but we’ve gotta be quick,”
“sammy’s gonna be back any-” before he could finish his sentence your lips were back on his, this kiss was different from the previous one you’ve just shared, this one was sloppy, needy and desperate, you’re pouring your all into this kiss, every faded orgasm, every frustrating cockblock from sam, every single emotion you’ve been feeling.
dean lifts his hips softly, causing his growing hard on to brush against your aching clit, the action causing you to whimper softly against his lips.
dean pulls back, “sensitive?”
“shut up and fuck me already.” you whine, wiggling your hips against his softly, dean chuckled, his hands moving to undo the buttons on your blouse, while yours are working to undo the buckle on his belt and zipper on his dark wash jeans
once all the buttons are undone dean wastes no time in tearing the two pieces of fabric apart from each other and shoving them down your arms, tossing the thin fabric to the floorboard, his smirk falters for a moment as he realizes your lack of bra, with his belt now unbuckled and his zipper now pulled down you look up, a smirk of your own finding it’s way on your glossy lips, “like it?”
“like it?, i love it.” he mumbles, reaching his hands up to grab a fistful of the flesh, kneeling it in his warm hands whilst leaning forward, and burying his face in your cleavage, his lips circling around one of your nipples while his thumb rubs the other,
“fuck, let me ride you,” you begged, dean looked up, your boob falling from his lips in a ‘pop’ sound
“yeah?” he quirked, “yeah.”
dean leant back, bringing his hand to his mouth, he spit a glob of spit onto his finger tips and lowered them down to his throbbing cock, spreading it around, lubricting it for you
you place your hand on his shoulder and use the other to slide your panties to the side, dean brings his cock up and slaps it on your clit a few times causing your breath to hitch
using his shoulder as leverage you lean up and place yourself directly over his cock, he brings his free hand to your waist as you slowly slide down on him
dean moans softly as his cock stretches you — “fuck,” he heaved, “almost forgot how tight this pussy was.”
throwing your head back you whine softly, slowly you begin to grind your hips against his, creating some sort of friction for the both of you as you try to get used to his size again
dean brings his hands to your hips, helping to guide you as you grind against him, his head falls back against the head rest while you lean forward with him, arms wrapped securely around his shoulders, “feels so good,” you whisper, fingers tugging softly on the ends of his hair
“bounce on me,” he breathes, and with that you’re sitting up, using his shoulders to steady yourself as you bring your feet to the leather seats, planting them down
“don’t let me fall,” you giggle, breathlessly, “never.” he quips
lifting your hips you slowly fall back on him, doing this a few more times until you’ve found a steady rhythm, “so good baby,” he praises, his hands on your hips, helping to guiding your movements
dean urges you to move faster, “atta girl, just like that.” he groans, his head moving to fall back but you’re quick to catch his cheek, guiding his lips to yours
“kiss me,” you moan, lips brushing against his
dean complies almost immediately — his lips pressing firmly against yours, mixed with teeth and tongue, neither of you cared if you seemed desperate, because well you were, having been touch starved of one another for a full week
you feel as his hands slide up your hips towards your tits, squeezing them roughly, while yours are tangled in his hair, tugging and pulling relentlessly
he pulls away, lowering his head to watch in awe as his cock glides in and out of you with ease, “doing so, mm—fuckin’ good for me, angel,”
“shit, you’re so deep.” you whine, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth as you used every bit of strength you had to lift your hips then slam them back down on him
dean must’ve noticed as you tiring out since your movements became sloppier, since he brings both hands to your waist to lift you and guide you back down
your eyes roll back as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, as this new angle of his has his tip hitting that soft spot deep inside of you,
you’re brought closer to your high as his swollen tip continues to hit your g-spot relentlessly, and you can’t help but hold onto him for dear life,
“fuck,” you whine, arms wrapping around his shoulder as you lean forward, burying your face in his neck, “gonna cum, oh, i’m gonna cum,”
“yea?” he presses, while you just nod, “cum on my cock,” he breathes, “atta girl, come on.” he encourages, his hand going to grip a fistful of your ass
your legs start to shake against him and you cry out as your orgasm hits you, “that’s it,” he coos, his hand coming to rub against your hair, helping to calm you as your body shook whilst still guiding your hips down onto his,
you’re aching between your thighs now but you’re still so desperate for him, his cock twitches inside of you, signaling that he’s close, “fill me up,” you breathe, “cum in me, baby.”
“please,” you whimper, and that was the end of it for him, he stops your movements all together, holding you down as white spurts of hot cum shoot up into you as he lowers his head back against the seat, letting out a raspy groan, “fuck,”
you’re both breathing heavily as you try to bring yourselves down from your highs, leaning up some you bring your hand to his face, lifting his chin and leaning forward, kissing him softly, “did so good for me,” he whispered, his words muffled by your swollen lips
“did so fuckin’ good.” he repeated, “mm, i love you.”
“i love-”
suddenly the passenger side door swings open, a screeching sound from you follows and suddenly dean’s snapped out of his post orgasm haze and leans forward, still buried inside of you and grabs the first thing he can find,
his hands grasp his brown leather jacket and he moves to wrap it around you, attempting to shield you from his younger brothers eyes, you flushed with embarrassment just bury your face in his shoulder
“close the door!”
within seconds the passenger door slams shut, the impact of the slam causing the whole car to shake, leaning up your eyes lock with his
“no way that just happened.” you breathed, an embarrassed smile creeping up your face as you stare back at dean
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eunivrse · 2 days
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ASMR (VI) deal with the devil
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# multi. aot characters / reader
─ you’d think crossing paths with the person who owns the voice you fuck yourself to almost every night would nearly be impossible, but then again, life is full of surprises.
chapter summary: everything you've done led up to this confontration. and now you're reaping the consequences.
content warning: nsfw (tbh just pure smut, breeding, creampie, unprotected sex, dirty talk, squirting), manipulation, complicated situationships, talks of porn and nsfw asmr
word count: 8.5k
quick note: hii hi i posted this on here for consistency purposes but the edited version of the previous chapters is only available on ao3 @ eunivrse
series m.list | next chapter
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“Well, fuck.”
You aren’t sure if you cursed out loud, but the man in front of you seemed to have heard it as he clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, a way of poking fun at you for being so startled.
“Um- where’s Eren?” Trying to cover your surprised expression, you coughed to clear your throat.
“He’s in class. Too bad he left his phone though.” The blonde feigns a pout, swinging Eren’s phone in between his fingers to show you that he’s the one that messaged you before he placed it back on top of his friend’s desk.
“What do you want from me?” You decided to be frank instead of prancing around the topic in hand. He wanted to finish the interrupted conversation he had with you back at the party, you were aware of that. At the time, you were glad Eren stepped in before things took too far, but this time Armin calculated his steps to ensure confrontation will occur.
You’ve already lost.
He chuckles, taking a few steps closer to you until you are about a foot apart. “Why so tense, love?”
“Because- you scare me.” Probably not the best to be upfront by telling him that he’s scary to his face, but if he’s going to approach you as such, you’re going to make sure you have the upper hand.
He walks past you without a word and down the little entryway that leads to his shared dorm with Eren.
You were dumb to not even realize that the other side of the room was his. Being so infatuated with Eren, your mind has been clear of Armin and Euphoria for the past few days now. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but the idea of it somehow didn’t cross your mind.
Your feet were moving on its own, to the bigger space where you were boned by Eren just a few days ago. Armin took a seat on his desk chair and patted the space next to him, his bed, as a gesture for you to sit.
For some reason, you followed. Your stomach was churning, swearing you could feel your anxious levels bubbling up inside of you, but still; you still did as you were told like a trained puppy.
It’s the small part of you saying that it’s the Euphoria calling you over even though it’s possible that Armin will ruin your image for knowing something you shouldn’t have.
Reputation isn’t something you value all that much, but having a horrible one amongst your circle wouldn’t be pleasant either.
You looked down on your lap as you explained before Armin had the chance to start his berating, “Armin- I know me knowing that you’re Euphoria might cause you some issues, but-“ turning your gaze to the man in front of you, you noticed how he stared at you with sincerity.
It was strange, no, Armin Arlert is strange. One moment he terrifies you then the next would be him giving you the most reassuring gestures.
It’s as if he’s toying with you.
“But- I won’t do anything with that information. I promise.” Your voice trails off in a whisper, trying to convince yourself that you aren’t scared by any means, but your body language is saying otherwise.
“I know you won’t.” His tone was slightly demeaning, a small smile forming on his face as he elaborated. “Everyone has their secrets. You reveal mine and I’ll reveal yours. An eye for an eye, right?”
“My secret?”
He beamed in amusement, “Word going out that you filmed and posted a sex tape with Eren is enough to ruin you, yeah?” Armin is enjoying every second of this, it was obvious in the way he spoke, his facial expressions gleaming with fascination.
You scoffed, an attempt of trying to hide the way you’re trembling in fear, “H-how-“
Armin interrupts. “How do I know? We’re best friends, honey.” The word ‘honey’ rolling past his tongue almost made it seem like he was looking down on you. You didn’t know an endearing word like that could come off so… condescending.
“Why… why are you doing all this?” This was all so complicated. Honestly, you just wanted sex, the last thing you wished for was to be knotted with someone who seems like has unhinged tendencies. Someone who’s willing to throw his best friend under the bus just to satiate his craving of getting what he wants.
“For fun. We don’t need to be philosophical about porn, darling.” It seemed genuine enough, his friendly shrug gave you enough of a hint that there was nothing deeper than just him having… fun. Even if that meant blackmailing you to keep himself entertained.
Continuing with his statement after it was silent for a split second, he went on. “Can I be honest? I like the thrill of being known as someone completely different online. But you know, I get upset when nosy people get in the way.” Obviously referring to you, you stay quiet, not sure what to reply with.
“Tell me, you listen to Euphoria don’t you?” It was humorous how immediate your nod was.
“Yes… I subscribe to your patreon too.” What you are trying to achieve by unraveling that information to him is beyond you. This was starting to pique your interest, just like how Armin wished to.
He jests, chuckling quietly, almost diabolically. A laugh that lasted too long as you just sat with your hands warming in between your thighs. “Hah… no wonder you figured it out so fast.” He paused then glanced at you, meeting your eyes.
It all happened so suddenly, he practically trampled onto you, his frame over yours, arms on each side of you as your back landed on his mattress.
Putting your veil of confidence back on, you asked, despite the awkward position you were placed in. “Hey, can I ask why you called me over in the first place if you knew I wasn’t gonna say anything?”
“You’re interesting. Connie… now Eren. ‘Just want to see what the hype is about. Aren’t you curious about what Euphoria can offer too?” He grinned and all you could do was nod as you stared at his pretty blue eyes.
Armin was more arrogant than you thought. Of course he is, there’s millions of people online fawning over his voice. And the man himself is right above you, face just millimeters from yours. You’re living the scenario his fans can only ever dream of while they touch themselves to the thought of this.
“And Annie?” You were pushing it with this one. While you trust Annie, it was obvious that she was keeping something from you. Not like it’s any of your business, but your curiosity got you to where you are, so you might as well ask.
But as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.
His eyelashes flutter as he blinks twice, then he hangs his head down, quipping while he stays in position, “Annie? She blurted out that she needed fast cash. I gave her the opportunity to record a few audios with me, so she can get a portion of the revenue we make from those audios. I think we both know that she’ll never speak of it to anyone else.”
’Just decided to stay professional.’
It sparked a memory in you, when Annie herself said the same thing back then, but what’s giving you the chills is the sharp contrast between how they both spoke of each other. Annie obviously had affection for him one way or the other, but Armin speaks of her as if they were mere co-workers.
As if sleeping with her was just a job to him. So much for his way of charity, you joke to yourself.
It’s a little terrifying but in a good-way. He’s definitely your type in that case. Someone who wouldn’t get their personal feelings in the way.
You aren't sure if Armin is the one moving way too slow, or your mind is diluted into slime that everything was going on slow motion for you, but his lips were mellowed and sweet, you can taste the familiar cherry chapstick flavor as his tongue made it in between your lips and into your mouth. Your half-lidded eyes were now fully closed, arms around his neck and his knee in between your legs.
Heart was starting to race, thumps so intense that you wouldn’t be surprised if Armin could hear it himself. Bodies pressed up on each other chest-to-chest, his hands now cupped on your cheeks— it felt warm. Armin’s kiss felt like a fluffy blanket draped over you on a cool winter night, all your doubts and worries about him didn’t matter anymore, you just wanted him now.
You already knew his voice alone could drive you in a state of euphoria, but this is way better than you could ever imagine. He was more gentle than you assumed based on the audios and the backhanded threats, it’s as if he gave you a drug to relieve your brain from thinking too much of it.
All this from a mere lip-to-lip action.
He pulled off shortly after, your eyes opening gradually, the sun from outside blazing through the window. It was obviously noon, the daylight out and about, but you were already so horny, pupils glazed with lust.
Armin pushed his thumb down on your bottom lip, swiping across it, then watched it bounce back up as soon as he released his hold. “You looked pretty in the video.” He whispers.
“You watched it?” Being aware that someone who knows who you are has actually seen it led you to realize how embarrassing you were acting in the tape. How vulnerable you let yourself be under Eren’s command.
And more so now that the man behind the microphone is talking about it.
He smiles with a sense of warmth. “You’re a natural, I admit. My favorite part was when you begged Eren to cum inside you. Would you let me do that if it were me?” If anyone else had asked you this, it’d be an immediate slap to the face, but this is him talking to you in that voice.
The voice you spent months fucking yourself to.
And he knew that.
It was such an eager nod, if you weren’t trapped right now you’d probably strip yourself naked. “Yes… I’d let you.”
Armin grins, the pads of his fingers right on your clothed crotch. “Really? You wouldn’t mind if I cum inside that pretty pussy?” His words were pure obscene, your panties definitely damp at this point.
“No.” You felt your breathing hitch, Armin’s fingers circling on the layers of fabric covering your clit. It was obvious how keen you are, your hips pushing itself towards him to feel more friction. He didn’t care to take off your underwear, he slid his hand under the garment and flicked your clit with the tip of his finger, feeding off on your hums of approval.
Your heart was thumping against your rib cage, you’ve never been this visibly antsy before. His crystal blue eyes scanning your clothed body, lips curved up into a smirk while he slips a finger in between your plush folds. The way your walls would clench around his finger, your hands sneaking and traveling around his back, your whimpers were sensual, alluring.
He leans down, face buried on your collarbones, his teeth already nipping on your skin. Noticing the faint marks littered on your neck, he kisses each one, as if he was the one that planted them on you. “Did you have a good time with Eren the other day?”
You were caught off-guard, answering with a breathy ‘yes’ as he teases his finger in you with a slight curl, even though you were praising him, not answering his question.
“Really? Hm… I bet I can do better though.” It felt like just yesterday when you were intoxicated, ear right up against your bedroom wall, wishing you were the one Euphoria was cursing, praising, cumming to. Words that might feel needles against other’s skin felt like heaven to you only because it’s Euphoria.
He kneeled on the floor, pulling your ankles apart and sliding your bottoms down, underwear leaking with arousal. It tickled each time he kissed your thigh, lips trailing up to your most intimate parts. You pulled your underwear to your inner thigh for him and he blew on your clit, glistened with slick. Licking a long stripe up your folds, you gasped, hands grasping onto his hair.
Euphoria knew what you wanted and he dished it out on you on a silver platter. He chuckled against the heat of your cunt, swearing you could feel his fucking smirk on you, then his tongue sticking out and flicking your walls. His voice was low and gruff while he groaned into you, saliva pooling and dripping all over your pussy and down your ass.
He pauses and taps your clit with his fingers, your teeth gritting in hopes of suppressing your moans. He eggs on, “Your pussy looks so much better in real life. I’m a big fan of you, you know.”
“Big fan?” You faintly ask, your attention gathered.
“Yeah,” He kisses your inner thigh. “I’ve even imagined that it was me instead of Eren in the video. Pretty pathetic of me, huh?” Judging by his tone, the lines between his intentions are blurred.
Is he mocking or praising you?
“That’s a ballsy thing to say at our first proper meeting.” You laugh, head thrown back when he flicked the tip of his tongue on your clit.
“First?” He raises an eyebrow.
You couldn’t ask any further even if you wanted to, he latched his fingers on the nook of your inner thighs, pushing you apart and nibbled on your cunt like he hadn’t had breakfast this morning. Your stomach felt tight, eyes seeing blank.
It’s been your biggest wet dream to have this man in between your legs. Although you didn’t expect him to be someone like Armin Arlert. He’s just too… poise and put together. Who would’ve thought someone as perfect as him also had skeletons in his closet?
You wreck out a cracked sob, hands searching for something to grip on. Legs dripping with his saliva and your juices, he spits on your cunt, then uses two fingers to split your folds apart. He takes a moment to stare at the clear sheen of arousal coating your pussy before sighing as a sign of approval.
With his eyes glued to the orb of saliva threatening to drip down his ivory sheets, he puckers his lips and blows towards your clit, amused by your reaction which consists of a curse and a twitch, of which he found quite cute. He teases, “well aren’t you a dirty girl?”
You play along, “I learned from the best,” implying that he’s just as filthy as you are.
Armin slowly slips a finger in between your folds and down your hole once again, relishing in the warmth of your walls compressing him so tightly. His thumb worked circles on your clit while he pushed his index in as deep as he could. All you could do was breathe out whines, too stimulated to protest for him to go faster.
It’s insane how many varying feelings you’ve gone through for the past 20 minutes. At one minute your reputation is being threatened, the next minute, the man you’ve unknowingly been fucking yourself to has his head in between your legs.
He wraps one of his arms around your groin, palm squeezing on your inner thigh to keep you spread apart. Sighing, he curls his finger inside you before pulling it out and slipping it back in, this time along with his middle finger. Armin muses, “I wanna see you cum this time, okay love?”
Hearing him talk like this live, let alone to you directly— you honestly couldn’t ask for anymore. The natural husk of his voice only intensified the knot in your tummy. He hadn’t had his finger inside you for more than 2 minutes and yet you already wanted to cum.
You aren’t too fond of Armin and his borderline demonic tendencies, but you can never resist that sultry, angelic voice of Euphoria’s. Unable to form a cohesive response from the tightness in your stomach, you stutter, “Y-yes— ah—!” He flicks his thumb up and down on your clit as he pressed light kisses down your inner thigh, his lips making their way to your pussy.
Replacing his thumb with the tip of his tongue, he jerked the wet muscle on your clit, which evoked a gasp from you. “So sweet,” he praises, kissing your clit before sucking on it. His fingers gradually increased in speed, curling them deeper with each thrust, eventually reaching the spot that provoked a pornographic moan past your lips.
“God…” You groan, your hands reaching up to massage your boobs for more stimulation. The slick sound of his fingers plunging in you was enough to push you over the edge, until—
Click!
No fucking way.
Someone’s using a key to open the door, which could only mean one thing.
Eren.
You were still for what felt like minutes, Armin quickly helping you up. Getting back to your senses, you pull your shorts back up, nearly sprinting to sit on Eren’s bed as opposed to where you just were. There’s no use of hiding, it’ll just make the situation more suspicious.
You watch Armin wipe the sheen off his chin with the back of his hands, your legs still trembling from the tingle and the denial of a release as you compose yourself. Eren unlocked the door and each of his step felt like it was in slow motion. Even you being here seems a little… off. And it’s even weirder that it was dead silent when he came in.
“Hey… guys. What’s up?” He seemed ecstatic that you were here, although confused since he didn’t invite you or anything. And he knows that Armin wasn’t too happy about you.
Before you could even juggle for an answer, Armin stepped in. “She called and since you left your phone, I answered and said she could stay here until you come back.” The fact that he was so quick to make up such a blatant lie doesn’t even surprise you anymore. He’s been able to hide his other identity so well, now you have a deeper understanding of why he probably hates your guts.
You’re like a small crack in his life that will eventually spread to break him.
Eren fell for it, responding with a nod as he walked over to cup your cheeks, leaning down for a quick, yet sincere kiss. You smile against his lips, although slight guilt was looming over you as Armin just watched. He then grabbed his phone, patting Armin on the back, and whispering something against his ear before speaking to you again. “I’m sure you both know each other by now, no need for introductions, correct?”
You weren’t sure if he’s referring to the thick tension or the fact that you two are mutual friends, but nevertheless the suspense was starting to eat you from the inside.
“Yeah… We’ve all hung out before.” You shrug, honestly starting to feel awkward that no one is discussing the elephant in the room even though that’ll probably make things worse.
Armin sat back down on his bed and pretended to go on his laptop, Eren sitting next to you on his mattress. “So what did you call me for?” He asks, his palm rubbing your thigh. Armin side-glaring at you from a few meters away, practically telling you to not speak a single word about what just happened was enough to provoke a lie out of you.
“I just wanted to see you…” Your lips perk up into a feign smile.
Eren gleams, “Really? I was actually about to ask you if you wanted to go out with me this weekend.”
His beamed expression is something that you honestly couldn’t reject. And a date doesn’t mean a relationship right? You’ve only gotten to know him for a couple of weeks anyways.
And Eren definitely isn’t the type to be serious about relationships.
“A date?” You shoot a quick glance at Armin at which he just smiled and stared at you, watching you like a hawk.
“Doesn’t have to be, though I’d prefer it if it was,” Eren’s nonchalant attitude tells you he’d probably never asked anyone out for a genuine, wholesome date. He had just said it doesn’t have to be a date, and you kinda owe him anyway for helping you get back up on your feet even if he wasn’t aware, so why not?
“Okay. You’re paying for everything though.” You stick your tongue out, at which Eren scoffed at. Your agreement to this ‘date’ is also partly to take a jab at Armin. You looked at him from the corner of your eye, his fingers click-clacking on his keyboard without a care about your conversation. But you knew he was all ears.
You looked at the time on your phone and realized you have class in half an hour. “I have to go. I’ll see you Saturday then?” You stand up, Eren grabbing your hand as he followed.
“Yeah. I’ll text you.” He kisses your cheek before letting you go. You wave to Armin before twisting the knob to leave the room. The last thing you heard before closing the door was a “see you” from Armin.
Something tells you that you will see him again before that meet-up with Eren.
---
Classes are over and you were laying on your bed, bored since everyone is busy and you’ve done everything you had to do for your classes, surprisingly.
For some reason, you were looking forward to hanging out with Eren. You didn’t really mind considering it as a date, you kinda miss the giddy feeling of getting ready and looking nice for someone.
During your moment of slight excitement, your phone dinged.
The number is unknown, but you knew who it was.
‘are we gonna finish what we started earlier?
Euphoria.
You gulped, yes, but you were wishing for this in the back of your head. There was nothing more you wanted than to have that man inside of you. Even if he’s a little crazy.
Typing, you respond, ’i’m free rn and annie isn’t here.’
That typing bubble felt as if it lasted way too long even though his response was just a mere, ‘what time will she be back?’
’not until a few days. she went home for the weekend’
The odds were in your favor, Annie took an early weekend and left a few hours ago to spend time with family.
He replied with a thumbs up, and you closed your phone, chest rising and falling, eyes glued on the ceiling.
---
The sun has set, the bright spring sky switching to its dark, gloomy counterpart. There were no stars, except for a few of which you can assume are just helicopters. It’s been a good 10 minutes since Armin had texted and as soon as it turned 9:00pm, you heard a knock on the door. You were quick on your feet to welcome him into your apartment.
Clad with an oversized shirt and his cargo pants, he walked in from the dark hallway to your humble abode, where you can clearly see that he’s wearing a pair of innocent looking glasses.
“I’m sure you’re familiar with this place,” you say sarcastically, Armin ignoring you and sitting straight at the dining table. You follow, pulling the chair from under the table and sitting across from him.
“So what do you want?” You might as well lay all your cards out if he’s threatening you.
He pushes the bridge of his glasses up to his nose. “A deal.”
Feeling a sense of deja vu, you repeat his words. “A deal?”
“Yes. Make content with me.”
You weren’t planning on retaliating, this has practically been what you’ve been fantasizing about since day one, however you weren’t going to let Armin get whatever he wants that easily.
“What’s in it for me?” You raise an eyebrow. Armin leans in closer, both elbows propped on the wooden surface with his fingers laced together.
“Half of what I get from each audio goes straight to your pocket. Isn’t that more than enough? But of course—“ His plump lips curve up into a smirk.
“I know the sex is something you’d enjoy as well.” The perverted words coming out from his mouth is a clear juxtaposition mixed in with his boyish appearance.
The silence was getting too thick, and Armin proceeded to explain, “As you know, Annie quit. I never planned on having a partner in my audios, however, ever since her appearance, my patreon subscribers have nearly doubled. Do you understand now?”
As much as the deal will benefit you tremendously, you couldn’t help but bring up the obvious. “What if Annie finds out about this?”
“If you’re feeling guilty, then you should know that she’s the one that broke it off with me. And it’s part of your job to be discreet about this. Tell one person, even Eren, and the deal’s off-“ He seemed as if he was going to say something else, however he kept his mouth shut.
“You’re acting like I would ever mention you to Eren. I’ve been sleeping with the guy for fuck’s sake. And plus, you aren’t really that special, Armin.” Your lip perked up into a small smirk, a little part of you hoping that your harsh words are jabbing his ego.
“Good. Keep it that way.” For some reason, his responses kept pissing you off.
You stand up and slam your palms down on the table. “Okay, I will! God, you’re insufferable.” Your face was heating up from built up wrath, Armin’s lack of response only making you want to flip the table over. The reason why you’re so angry is something you fail to answer yourself.
He stands up from his chair after a few seconds. “Oh really?”
“Yeah, you’re getting on my goddamn nerves.” You turn your face away from him.
That’s too bad…” Walking towards you, he grabs your chin to look him in the eye. His grip was tight, any longer and your face would bruise. You could see your vulnerable state through the reflection of his specs, his sapphire irises showed nothing but purity, yet his words were bordering evil.
“Fucking deal with it then.” He scoffed tauntingly before clashing his lips against yours. You clawed on his t-shirt as he transferred his bruising grip onto your waist, ultimately pushing you against the ledge of the table. The cold coffee mug that Annie left on top of the wooden slab rattled, but that didn’t stop you from pulling Armin by the collar and shoving him, the both of you switching positions. He whimpered against your mouth from the slight ache of his lower back, giving you an opportunity to slip your tongue inside, your teeth ramming into his bottom lip.
You pull out for a moment to get a breath of fresh air, panting in between soft kisses, “Let’s go to my room.”
Armin huffs, “Can I record?”
You roll your eyes, slowly inching away from him while having your hand twisted on his collar. “What else would you want to do this for?” It would’ve been easier to just say yes, but that just isn’t you.
By holding his wrist, you led him to your bedroom. When you get in, you turn around and he shows you his phone with a voice memo app on and recording.
Of course, your curious self also wants to know the specifics of his content. “Don’t you use a mic?”
He shrugs, and walks past you to place his phone face down on your nightstand. “Only when I’m alone, easier to manage and all.” He strolls towards you, cupping your face gently and using his thumb to caress your cheekbones.
Your cheeks were bunched up in his hand, lips forced into a pucker as he whispers, “Just pretend like the phone isn’t even there, okay?” With that, he locked his lips with yours tenderly, an clear opposition to his prior behavior. One of his hands is already under your shirt while the other is on your shoulder, slowly easing you into your mattress.
As you trail kisses from the corner of his lips down to his neck, you mumble, “I wanna suck you off…”, pausing him of his attempt on laying you on the bed.
He showed no sign of retaliation, urging you to unbutton his pants to pull it down. You kneeled on the carpet ground as his trousers reached his ankles, the rough surface prickling your kneecaps already. You notice a bump poking out of his boxers, the view of it all from just his toned thighs and the sneak view of his pelvis already got you gulping.
Curling your fingers on the garter of his underwear, you pull it down, his cock popping out in all its glory.
The description you’ve been picturing in your head about what this would look like is way better than what your imagination could fathom. His tip is flushed pink, just oozing with beads of white, and it’s long enough that it curves up, perfect for hitting that sweet spot of yours. There’s also a vein that protrudes through the middle of the shaft to the tip, your pupils dilating at the sight.
You’ve had your fair share of dicks, this one might be the prettiest one.
You shimmy a little closer to grab his cock for the first time and holy shit, it feels surreal. Palm wrapped around him, you start moving your hand up and down as your lips get closer to his tip. There were no reactions from him, you looked up and he just stared with a dull expression, arms crossed as if he was bored.
Well, that was the case until your lips made contact with the slit seeping with precum, licking it up and sticking your tongue out to show him what you’ve done. That whimper was a sign that you found his sensitive spot.
Well, that was fast.
You glanced up at him as you took his cock in between your lips. He grips his fingers on the back of your head and pushes you until his tip slammed the back of your throat. Squealing, he proceeded on using your throat as his personal flesh light, saliva frothing and dribbling down your chin.
“Oh- yeah, keep suckin’ it just like that, ah–” He chuckles, his cock nearly stretching your throat, swollen lips pressing up against his balls. You latched your nails onto his thick thighs for leverage, head bobbing up and down as your tongue swirled all around his lengthy cock. Tears brimmed your waterline, mascara staining your cheeks.
You were taking it like a champ, you barely made any gurgling noises that implied that you were gagging despite the minimal allowance he allowed you to breathe. He thought it was quite impressive.
Caving your cheeks in, you groaned from the pang of your jaw, the vibrations causing him to squirm. “Oh yeah… ah fuck yeah…” The series of whimpers and curses echoing around your room sent chills down your pussy, it really is so much better live.
You couldn’t help but giggle to yourself, amused at his change of tone just from a pair of lips on his cock.
The more you think about it, the more you’re starting to put the pieces on the puzzle. Armin does have a really distinct undertone of a British accent in his speech.
It’s not too noticeable to people who don’t pay attention, but in your case, you’ve heard hours worth of just his voice. When he’s under the facade of Euphoria, his deep, husked voice has that similar British accent, voice gradually becoming higher pitched as he reaches his high.
“Fuck baby, hah- you— don’t stop.” He mewls, voice strained, your chin soaked with saliva. You pulled off with a gasp, a strand of spit connecting your lips and his tip. Smirking, you palm his cock and jerk him off, blinking up at him with innocent eyes. He couldn’t protest even if he wanted to, only being able to moan until his throat went dry.
Clearing your throat, you taunt, “You’re so cute, can’t wait to cum in my mouth don’t you?” You hadn’t expected Armin to heed to you, he just nodded in desperation, his cock twitching the more you slid your hand along him.
“Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh fuckkkk— hah—!” He stiffens, gritting his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut as he lets it all spill out. It didn’t take long until you felt the strings of warm, ivory cum spurting all over your lips as he moaned out loud, nearly choking on his own saliva. You stood up, knees weak and wobbly, licking your lips to collect his seed in your tongue while you pulled him by the collar in for an eager kiss, forcing him to taste himself.
Parting from him, you grin, “You taste amazing.” self-confidence off the roof from making him cum as hard as his voice has made you these past months.
He laughs faintly, “It’s your turn, baby.”
The phone recording every sound you make had already slipped your mind by this point, as Euphoria would’ve preferred. You grab the bottom hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up and over his chest, which Armin was willing to do the honors of discarding it completely, letting it plop on the floor.
All you could think about was that Armin is fucking gorgeous. You just assumed he was cute and adorable because of his boyish complexion, but he’s built like a Greek statue under the sweaters and cargos he’s often clad in. His skin was smooth, arms toned, chest chiseled perfectly with his subtle abs, and a perfect v-line connecting to the sole thing you’ve been looking forward to feeling inside you.
Likewise, you cross your arms to take your top off to toss it somewhere in your room. Your lack of bra, nipples stiff and perked had Armin’s lips pursed into what you assume is anticipation. Maybe you were moving way too slow for his liking, methodically slipping your skimpy shorts off along with your panties, because Armin didn’t even wait for you to kick the garments off to the side before spinning you around, your back against the near ledge of your plush mattress.
Your brain could barely register what just happened, it took seconds before you realized that your legs are being pried apart with his head in between.
Armin muses, taking off the shorts and panty that hung off your ankle to throw it across the room. “You’re going to have to move much faster next time, yeah? I don’t like waiting.” The sternness in his voice only caused you to leak more than you already have been, bare pussy gleaming with your arousal. You could only nod and hum a compliant ‘mhm’, the cool breeze of the centralized AC wafting past your wet cunt, heightening your sensitivity.
The warm contact between your clit and the apex of his tongue evoked a curse slip past your lips. Teasing you, he proceeded in kitten licking the same spot til it was swollen and raw, already leaving your desperate cunt leaking all over the sheets beneath you. It was shocking honestly, how quickly you released, little spurts of squirt seeping down your ass while Armin teased. You squirmed, the back of your head digging against the plush mattress as you reach your brief high.
He chuckles, “So soon? I just started, love.” He rolled his thumb back and forth on your throbbing clit, while using two fingers to split your folds apart, eyeing the round orbs of slick rolling down to the sheets.
Trembling from overstimulation despite barely being touched, you weep, “Need more… I need you so bad,” Armin poked his tongue in between your folds, tapping at your wet hole without giving his thumb a break. Your hands latched onto his locks, pushing him down the heat of your cunt.
The warmth of his saliva pooling in between his mouth and your pussy dripped down his chin, the mixed noises of slurping and moans echoing in your room. Your thighs were shaking, threatening to clamp onto Armin’s head, however he didn’t let you— gripping onto the plump of your thighs and forcing them wide apart, letting the cold air hit your pussy.
Your legs were spread on the bed, allowing you to really feel how good Armin’s tongue feels inside of you. His licks were tight and precise as it grazed your throbbing hole, his nose buried just right under your clit.
He takes a breather, blowing on the heat of your cunt as he plugged two fingers deep past your hole, feeling your walls clench around the ridges of his knuckles. “You’re gonna have to hold it this time, love.” The request is nearly impossible when he’s curling his fingers in, making you whimper in resistance.
The occasional giggles he would have matched with his lewd sucking were more than enough to draw another orgasm out of you. His voice was truly mesmerizing, any word that rolls off his tongue can get you soaked.
Waiting for your response was none of Armin’s concern, he plunged his fingers with ease, eyes glimmered with nothing but awe at the sticky mess he’s creating in between your legs. The ache of his balls was starting to get unbearable, tingling with his filthiest urges. As much as he wanted to punish and ruin you for reasons he couldn’t clearly answer himself, there’s nothing more he wants than to pound you into the bed.
Armin lowers his head, lips reaching to nip at your clit, his fingers reaching the spot that emitted a sharp gasp from you, crimson lips from biting them so much turning into an ‘o’. Your pussy down to the base of your ass is coated with a sheen of your slick, Armin pushing the plump of your left inner thigh on the mattress to prevent closing your legs.
He reveres, “Been waiting for this since you left earlier… ‘never seen such a pretty pussy,” He was rambling, but he wasn’t far off from the truth.
“Hahhhh— yeah, fuck, that’s it—!” Your groan nearly reached the pit of your stomach, tears brimming your eyes before panting sporadically, just waiting for that sweet voice of affirmation to give you permission.
He cleared his throat before chuckling, “Show me how it’s done, doll.” You were a mess to say the least. Hands pressed up on your chest to push your breasts together, letting a clear stream of fluid projectile on Armin’s lips as soon as he pulled his fingers out while you struggled to breathe.
Small spurts kept spraying out of your needy little hole, Armin tapping on your clit with the tips of his fingers, a little force inflicted in his touch which provoked a frail moan out of you.
He stands upright, knees sore from digging them in the ground. Hunching over your frame, his shadow cowering over your body, he sees you in all your glory, drowsy and fucked out. He’s not even done with you and you’ve already given out.
He mutters, face leaning closer to yours, lips just barely against your ear, “Are you sure you don’t want more?” Every fiber of your being is telling you to sleep, but your mind is telling you to let him use you like you’re nothing but a mere doll.
“I do… ‘need you inside me…” your pathetic pleas is something Armin couldn’t resist, the twitch of his cock from your dulcet tone mixed in with your disgusting words almost made him impatient. Chuckling, he stands back up and you watch while he preps himself, fucking his fat cock into his fist, his thumb smearing off the leaking bead of precum.
You stare at the ceiling, mouth agape when he placed his cock in between your folds, savoring the snug feeling of your wet pussy as he slid himself up and down, tip knocking on your clit. Your reflexes kicked in and you lifted your ass up a bit, rolling your hips to match his pace. Your little whimpers, body shaking from having to hold your weight on your elbows, Armin couldn’t help but place his hands all over you, thumb pressed on your lip while the other played with your pert nipple.
His hand was locked on your jaw while you nipped on his thumb, forcing your eyes on him. It’s hard to say that he isn’t absolutely gorgeous when he’s under that innocent facade that he likes to pull.
Golden strands of hair were stuck on his forehead, collarbones and his abs sheened with sweat. He chuckles when he notices the drool seeping out of your lips and on his thumb. “Are you ready?” Still rocking his cock back and forth slowly, you nod to give him the green light. Letting your jaw go, your head falls back on the bed as he positions one of your legs against his chest while you gently wrap your fingers around his cock, pointing his tip right on your hole.
Armin grins at your eagerness, rutting his hips to let his cock nudge into your pussy, walls sucking him in, welcoming him inside you so kindly. You couldn’t help but moan, neck stretched to throw your head further into the mattress. He presses on your tummy with his palm, squeezing on the plump of your skin as he taunts you by keeping stationary, dick barely halfway through.
He hacks out a laugh, while he stares in adoration at the way you’re bouncing your hips, desperate for the need for stimulation. The sticky, wet noise of your pussy rubbing around his cock just tells him how much you’ve wanted this. Just how pathetic you’d get for some dick.
In your defense, him being halfway through was enough to get yourself off, his girth was enough to stretch you apart. Hell, just hearing his voice can make you cum with just a finger.
His hands grabbed ahold of your waist, nimble fingers squeezing on the pudge of your skin. His lips were curved into a smile, “You have to wait for me, pretty. Is that okay, hm?” His hum sprung into a high pitched tone as opposed to the rest of his sentence. Of course you listened, you were in heat and you’ve been touching yourself to that exact same tone more often than not.
Armin kneaded on your waist with the pads of his thumbs while meticulously sheathing himself inside you. He stopped when he had filled you up to the hilt, quickly glancing at your gorgeous face one more time before pulling out and slamming his hips against yours. You shiver, a little whimper drifting past your lips, followed with a huff to catch your breath again.
However, he stays cruel with his treatment, vehemently fucking into you in a pace that caught air stuck in your throat. You struggled to find the correct words to egg him on, but what you didn’t know was that your moans and your presence itself was more than enough to make his balls twinge.
Propping your elbows onto the duvet of your mattress, you tuck your chin in to look at the work being done on your cunt. His cock was splitting you in half, his base coated with your arousal mixed in with his pre. Your abdomen was tight while he pushed your lifted leg closer to your body. Flexibility isn’t exactly your forte, but you had him to thank for drilling into you in this angle.
His cock might not be as girthy as Eren’s, but he knew how to give a good fuck. After all, Eren is an exception. No one can compare with him in terms of size.
So it’s hard to admit that he makes Eren seem like an amateur in everything else.
Expected from Euphoria, but surprising for Armin.
He swung your leg to the side, lifting it off the bed and leaving one of your ass cheeks on the bed, letting the rest of your body move sideways. His swift movement left you dumbfounded, you were babbling nonsense as he plunged into your seeping cunt, thighs slathered with your arousal. Armin coos as he panted, “Fuck, yeah. Love it. ‘Love your wet pussy milking me so well.” His string of whimpers and curses dominated yours, you’ve never met another man this vocal in bed.
Your grip on his cock had left his head blank, he was practically acting on instinct by the way he’s digging into you, the sheets rustling with each thrust. Saliva bubbles on the corner of your lips, dribbling down the mattress in uneven shapes. You cry, “Please, baby. ‘Need you to cum inside…” Almost every inch of your body was aching— yet you yearned for it. One of your forearms was pressed onto the linen sheets and the more he moved, the more it burned from friction.
Armin groans, hips still stagnant in speed, “Hm? Want me to fill you full of cum? Such a dirty slut…” Your cunt was so welcoming to him, sucking him in like there’s no tomorrow. The sight of your titties bouncing in sync with his pounding had made him eager to strike it with the heat of his palm, igniting a sharp, quick gasp from you. You turn your head, shooting a glance at him, mildly surprised at what he just did. His once sapphire eyes were hooded with pure animalistic lust and your lack of retaliation only provoked him to do it again, watching as your boob jiggled against the other, soaking up on the whines you’d make in response.
He amped up the speed of his cock, balls grazing your inner thigh. In accordance, his moans were being drawn out in higher pitches, those sweet familiar tunes that you sleep to every night. “Hah— shit, I watched you get fucked by him the other day, yet I don’t remember you being like this.” He didn’t need to elaborate on who he’s talking about. You knew.
And he expects you to answer. He couldn’t care less about the recording. In fact, this could even be good material for his content.
“I- ah— he wasn’t—“ you’re mumbling, distracted by the sheer length of Armin’s cock filling you to the brim, battering onto the same squishy spot that got you yelping.
“He wasn’t what?” He wants to hear it although the answer is quite clear already.
You glare at him with half lidded eyes, stammering, “Shut— the fu-fuck up and make me cum already damn—“ Him bringing up someone else while destroying your insides was pissing you off, it was giving insecurity. Although it did cross your mind that it might be because he wants to milk you for content; figuratively and literally.
Armin hisses as his hips staggered in speed, now clapping his hips in slow, deep strokes. “Hahh, you’re so ambitious— ngh—” His sentences likewise weren’t coherent, his release basically sitting at the entrance of his tip, ready to stuff you full.
The change between his quick, powerful thrusts versus the sensual strokes had left your mouth hanging, nearly shrieking. “Please… I wanna— ah—!” Armin dropped your cramping leg back down, putting all his weight on the bed as he lodged his cock into you at a faltering pace, fists practically embedded onto the mattress.
He’s so painstakingly close, using up the last of his strength to plow into you one more time, stuffing you full of cum. The cute little twitch his cock made after emptying into you was what drew you to your high. Armin’s head flew back as you both went silent for a quick second before simultaneously groaning at the feeling of release flowing throughout your spine and the rest of your body.
Armin’s breathing stuttered as he managed to jest, “So much fucking cum…” keeping himself plugged into you as you felt viscous, milky consitency seep out of your hole and down your ass. The pit of your stomach felt warm and full as you pressed onto it with your frail hand to check if this is actually happening to you right now.
If you were really just fucked stupid by the man of your wet dreams.
He slouches down to capture your lips once more, feeling regenerated while you nibble on his bottom lip. You both open your eyes, bringing your hand up to brush his cheek with your warm palm. You manage to perk your lips into a small smile before he leans in to give you another peck. For a moment, it felt real. The kiss felt so genuine and you’ve found what people in love call connection.
But this isn’t love. This is just two people practicing their lustful desires onto each other.
You don’t even know him.
Pulling out, his limp cock twitched at the cool air, glazed with pure, translucent white. You sigh at the hollow feeling, thick ropes of cum oozing onto the soft sheets.
Armin stands up and picks up the clothes that splayed onto the ground, handing yours back to you as he starts to dress himself. He asks as he takes his phone to stop the recording, “Everything good?” His smile was innocent and it still catches you off guard.
You nod, composing yourself by getting a tissue from the nightstand to wipe the mess in between your legs “yeah… thanks.” Not caring enough to put shorts back on as no one else was home anyways, you led Armin to your front door with nothing but a fresh tee and your underwear on.
“I had a good time. Thank you, Armin.” If you were going to be working with him, being on good terms wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. Being friendly towards him is your best course of action.
“Me too. You were amazing.” was all he said. Your cell phone dinged from your hand and you held it up, unaware that Armin saw it as well.
It was a text from Eren.
’Can we talk?’
You closed your phone quickly, not being able to do anything but sigh at the complications of your, relation— well— situationships.
“Well, good night. Have fun on your date.” Armin caresses your cheekbone with his thumb before you bid him farewell, your heart pitter pattering with each second as you watch him disappear into the shadow of the hallway.
Something about Eren’s text doesn’t feel… casual.
You’re not in a relationship whatsoever, so why?
Why does it feel like you’re being disloyal?
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angeltsan · 3 days
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share your Sohee, Wonbin and Anton thoughts!! (If you don’t mind ofc)
okay okay,, brace yourself friends 😞
sohee: okay so i saw this gifset and it made me think of riding sohee and muffling him by putting your hand over his mouth and grabbing his face all rough and listening to how he moans and whines and how he let's you do anything you want to him, like you could literally push him around and rough him up any way you want and he'll always be like 🥴🥴 like his face would burn red and he'd feel so lightheaded cuz of how you use him however you want and he just thrives off of it so much
wonbin: melo's anon mentioned wonbin smirking at someone while she cried at their concert and i seen the video here and that's why i had this thought of wonbin breaking you down until you're a crying mess and he'd just caress your face and smirk down at you, doesn't wipe your tears though cuz he likes the way you blink really hard to get the thick tear drops to fall and he loves the way they stain ur cheeks, he doesn't let you wipe them either cuz ur his little doll, he doesn't want you to do anything <3
anton: im still so stuck on sub anton so just thinking abt him being all tied up and at your mercy, for some reason i get the feeling that when u edge him or overstimulate him like when he's feeling something really intense i feel like he bursts out laughing sometimes,, like he'll just try his hardest to squirm out of your grasp but he laughs as if it's ticklish but really it kinda hurts and he has like an odd reaction to the sensation and it makes him laugh as if he's kinda losing it a little and i just think that's so hot to think about. like him losing his calmness and not being able to figure out how he should react but all he knows is he's feeling so much because of you 😫
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Text
Session Two; Secret's Out - L.JH
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🎙Who; Lee Jihoon (Seventeen) x reader 🎙What; smut, fwb, producer/idol Jihoon 🎙Wordcount; 3.8k 🎙Warnings; profanity, high heel kink, dick stepping(light), marks, slight pain kink, manhandling, fingering, penetrative sex, protected sex, dirty talk
Summary; "Everyone knows that Jihoon does not like high heels. Everyone assumes it's because he's insecure about his height. Everyone happens to be very fucking wrong."
Minors do NOT interact, which means liking/reblogging/commenting on this story. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.
-2024 Masterlist- 🎙 In The Studio Masterlist 🎙
Part 2/? of In The Studio; a series of Jihoon fucking in his studio.
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Jihoon doesn't like it when you wear high heels. You've always assumed it's because of the added height and he's never really given you or anyone reason to think otherwise. When the guys teased him about it in the past, Jihoon never corrected them and just made vague sounds in response, if he even responded because he often ignored the jabs. So it makes logical sense that his aversion to you in high heels is because he's sensitive about his height and heels always make you much taller than him. And being a good friend, you take that at face value and refrain from wearing any heels around him, not wanting to make your precious friend feel insecure in any way.
The plan on this day isn't to make him insecure either, you'd genuinely never want that. But you know that even though you two have plans, he'll still be working for quite some time once you arrive at his studio because he always fucking does that. Which means he'll be busy and you'll both be seated in different places so taking the chance to break in the heels you just bought won't cause any problems, right?
"What are you doing?" Jihoon asks as soon as you sit on the couch and open the shoe box, revealing the brand new sleek black stilettos inside. He isn't even back in his chair from letting you into the studio. "You know I don't like you wearing heels."
"I've got to break them in and it's not like I've got anything else to do while you spend the next hour telling me you'll be done in a minute." You point out. "And we're both going to be sat down the whole time, you won't even notice the height."
"The height doesn't bother me." He informs, making you look up at him questioningly.
"It doesn't?"
Jihoon scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. "No, I've told you assholes, I'm not insecure about my height."
"Then why are you against heels?" You raise an eyebrow in intrigue, trying to figure it out yourself. But Jihoon gives you no assistance in any way and simply sits down and turns back to his desk with clearly zero intention of answering. You stare at the back of his head for a second then give in trying to magically understand and go back to taking your brand-new shoes out and slipping them onto your feet. Of course, you already tried them on in the store so you know you like them quite a lot; they're simple but elegant with a little dainty silver chain around your ankle. "Will you take a picture for me?" You ask as you take your phone from your pocket and extend your legs out, already pretty sure he will refuse.
As expected, Jihoon's response is simple. "No."
"Fine," You try to get a good picture of your new shoes to send to your friend but the angles are quite frankly put, shit. So you get up and move aside to prop your phone up on the floor on selfie mode and set a timer. You quickly shuffle back just enough to get a decent view of the lower half of your legs.
You don't notice because you're busy trying to take a photo that really shows off the shoes, but Jihoon looks over the second he hears you move. Though he's not really paying attention to you but your feet. He keeps trying to look away and finish his work but he's so distracted. You're driving him insane and you don't even notice.
"Okay, I can't decide which one is better." Your sudden voice jolts Jihoon back to reality and he looks up at you to see that you're now just standing there with your phone in your hands, flicking between two photos. "Will you pick for me?" He doesn't have the chance to respond before you turn and approach him. Jihoon's gaze drops back to your shoes and he swallows hard. That you notice. "Ji?" You wonder, stopping at his side and offering your phone. He makes a vague grunt of a sound in response. "Will you pick for me?"
It takes a few seconds for Jihoon to force his eyes to focus on the little screen held out to him. He just stares as you flick between the two photos slow enough that he can get a good view of them both and compare them mentally. At least that's what you hope he's doing. Really, he's just dumbly staring with slightly widened eyes, no thoughts in his head.
"Which one?" You prompt when he remains silent for too long.
"Ei-" He starts but his voice cracks so he quickly clears his throat. "Either."
"Either?"
"Either."
"Right." You mutter, looking at him suspiciously and locking your phone blindly while lowering it. Jihoon lets out a relieved little exhale. "What's going on with you?"
His head darts up to look at you. He looks very caught out, eyes big and cheeks tinted a soft pink. "What? Me? Nothing." He tries to turn back to his computer but you grab the back of his chair and pull it away from the desk. Jihoon yelps and tries to catch the edge of the desk but he doesn't react fast enough, giving you space to nudge him further back and move over to stand right in the way of his computer. "I need to-"
"What's going on?" You demand, crossing your arms over your chest. It feels oddly reminiscent of the very first time your relationship turned from platonic to sexual those months back. You've had an awful lot of sexual encounters since watching him jerk off in that very chair, but you can never forget that first one. Your eyes drop down to his crotch, you're pretty sure he'd be honest if you had disturbed him when he was in the middle of masturbating, in fact, he's told you as much multiple times before and it always ended with you both getting off in some way together. And there's no bulge in his sweatpants, so clearly, that's not the issue here anyway.
"Nothing, let me-" He tries to scoot forward, one hand reaching forward to urge you aside but you lift your foot to put it on the edge of the chair between his thighs to stop it moving. Jihoon immediately freezes, eyes blown wide and glued to your foot a handful of inches away from his crotch. "Fuck," He whispers, slowly leaning back in his seat until his back is pressed against the backrest while his hands grip the armrests.
You stare at him consideringly for a moment, trying to decipher what the fuck is going on here and the whole time, Jihoon's wide eyes remain on your heeled foot. You adjust it a little as you lean back against the desk for balance, you don't intentionally move your foot closer to his crotch, the flat of your shoe more firmly pressed to the seat between his thighs, yet it happens and Jihoon swallows thickly.
It's now that you notice the subtle change in his sweatpants, a sign that Lee Jihoon is getting hard. And suddenly, it all makes an awful lot of sense. Why Jihoon doesn't like it when you wear high heels. Why he's been looking at your feet darkly in what you had initially assumed was hatred. Why he can't seem to remove his gaze from your heeled foot now it's so close to his hardening dick. Lee Jihoon has a high heel kink.
An amused smirk tilts your lips up as you unfold your arms and rest your palms on the desk either side of your ass. "Oh, I see what this is." You muse, tone a little teasing. You know from experience that Jihoon can handle a little teasing where his kinks are concerned, he does the same to you too, but you both never push too far, still walk carefully along that edge ready to pull back in a second if you notice the other getting uncomfortable. Without hesitation, you lift your foot and lightly press it against that rapidly swelling bulge. Jihoon's head immediately tips back and he lets out a broken little moan. "You've got a high heel kink, don't you, babyboy?" You coo, applying a little more pressure and grinning in satisfaction at the moan it pulls from Jihoon's chest. He doesn't even try to respond, just grips the armrests harder and subtly rolls his hips up to press his cock harder against the underside of your shoe. "Cute,"
Jihoon always looks so fucking beautiful like this, when he's focused on his pleasure and moving his hips to search for it without a care in the world, no shame in his veins just pure arousal. You truly do wish you could have him like this always; keep him to yourself selfishly and allow no one else the pleasure of this sight. But you can't, you both may only be seeing each other sexually but you also have agreed that it doesn't have to remain that way at all. Still, it doesn't stop you from wishing this moment could last.
Unfortunately, your legs have other thoughts and the position soon grows uncomfortable and unsteady for you. Jihoon's head jolts up when you remove your foot. His eyes are so heavy-lidded when they land on you and full of betrayal at you removing the source of his pleasure.
"Just give me a second." You giggle amusedly and slide yourself up onto the desk after moving aside his keyboard to give yourself space. "Come here." You encourage, motioning him closer with a curl of your finger. Jihoon immediately rolls over in his chair between your spread thighs and grabs your right leg himself to lift back up and put your foot back against his aching erection.
He doesn't even say anything, just holds your ankle in his left hand and uses his right to press down on the top of your foot and keep the pressure how he wants it while he essentially humps your sole. It's both entertaining and pretty arousing. Seeing Jihoon be so utterly shameless always does something to you, always makes you throb with need for him.
You can't help but wonder how far this kink of his goes, if he just wants to rub against the flat of your shoe, or whether the heel itself plays a part, though you can't imagine it would do much but hurt in a non-pleasurable kind of way if he rutted against the thin stiletto heel. Still, he has a high heel kink, not a regular shoe kink, so the heel has to be important, right?
Curiously, you lift your left foot and place it flat on his right thigh. Jihoon's closed eyes snap open and look at your left foot, his hips slowing down a little now that you have pulled his attention elsewhere. You're very aware of the fact that Jihoon does like some pain during sex, you're not sure of the extent but you're confident enough to not worry here, knowing that he can handle it. You adjust your footing a little then tilt your foot back, digging the thin heel into his thick thigh. Instantly, Jihoon moans, thick and needy as his head tilts back and he goes back to rutting up desperately against your shoe.
"Oh, baby," You hum appreciatively. "Gonna make yourself cum like this, hm?"
"C-can't," It's the first thing he's said in a little while, the first attempt he's even made to utter a single syllable. His voice is deep in the way it gets when he's so full of arousal that he can't think straight. It's truly one of your favourite sounds and always sends a shiver down your spine.
"Can't?" You repeat, adjusting your left foot so it's higher up and angled so that when you press your heel back down against him, it's on his inner thigh. His back arches as he gasps and moans, much higher in pitch than his speaking voice in a contradiction that would make you giggle if you weren't too focused on the arousal simmering in your stomach.
"Can't," He confirms then grips both of your ankles hard to still both feet and give him enough mental clarity to open his eyes and land his dangerously dark gaze on you. You're pretty sure you know what this means and feel yourself clench on nothing in anticipation. Jihoon's jaw flexes a little as he clenches it, and then he's up, kicking his chair away carelessly to grip your thighs and pull you right to the edge of the desk while his lips crash onto yours with burning desperation, tongue quickly darting into your mouth to find your own. "Need you," He informs breathlessly when he pulls back far too quickly for your liking but his hands are working on the fastening of your jeans so you really don't have it in you to complain. Jihoon is about to fuck you and based on how he's acting and the pure need in his eyes, he's going to fuck you so good.
"You need to move so I can take these off." You remind, nudging at his firm stomach to try and get him to back up, but Jihoon refuses. "Ji,"
"No," He answers, moving just enough to pull open the top drawer on his right and grab a condom, one of many he keeps in that drawer so that he can fuck you whenever the mood strikes you both. Admittedly, it's a lot.
"What? How else-" You yelp when he wraps an arm around your waist to lift you enough that he can roughly try and tug your jeans and underwear down. He only manhandles you when he's turned on so much that he can't even think rationally and the only thought on his mind is burying his cock as deep into you as humanly possible. And knowing that, being manhandled by Jihoon only turns you on more than the show of strength itself. You brace yourself with one hand and help him with the other quickly.
Together, you work the clothing down to your mid-thigh and then Jihoon puts you down and forces his hand into the gap between your thighs and the clothes.
"Ji," You gasp as he plunges two fingers right into you, the jeans around your thighs make it hard to spread your legs so you're kind of tight like this, but Jihoon knows you, knows you can take it, especially when you're wet like this. Plus, he already fucked you this morning in your bed so he is certain you can handle this rough behaviour right now.
"Get me ready," He grunts, tracing his lips over your jaw and bullying a third finger into you to curl and stretch them. He can't really thrust them at this angle, he's got very limited space but he does what he can to make you gasp and get wetter by the second.
You reach aside blindly until you find the condom on the desk to grab before your hands find his waistband and yank open the tie to loosen them. You don't even push down his sweats that far, you both can't reach and don't fucking care, just want to get his cock out and in you. Quickly, you shove down his boxers a little and pull his erection out so that as soon as you've got the condom out of the wrapper, you can roll it onto him.
"Hands on the desk." He orders, pulling his fingers from you to grab your thighs and push them up, making your body naturally lean backwards; so you plant your palms on the desk behind you for support and watch as he lifts your legs to his shoulders, resting your calves there before reaching down to grab his erection and line up with you.
Jihoon only glances up at you to check in quickly and noticing that you're more than okay with all of this, he wastes no time burying his hard cock in you right to the hilt. It's another thing he doesn't do unless he's insanely turned on and desperate to cum, go fast from the get-go, he'll usually ease into you to allow you both to savour the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls. But when he's like this, he doesn't have the patience for that, he just wants to cum with your pussy hugging him tight.
You both moan at the feeling of getting what you both so desperately want. Jihoon takes a second, then another, squeezing your thighs appreciatively like he always does when he's buried in you, and then he pulls back and starts to fuck into you in short powerful thrusts aimed right at your most sensitive spots. Your head drops back as you moan with every thrust, little ah-ah-ahs that give him all the information he needs to know that he's fucking you right.
As much as Jihoon is desperate to cum, he will never pick his pleasure over your own. Without fail, he'll always make sure you orgasm before him even like this. Though he doesn't have the patience for multiple when he's in this state like he usually gives you before allowing himself to fall over the edge with you. Today is no different, Jihoon wants you to cum first and soon, he can feel himself hurting towards his end. You're so fucking tight like this and he can see those fucking heels in his peripheral and feel the blooming bruises on this thigh from you digging them into his delicate skin. So he slides one hand down from your thigh to force its way between them and thumb at your clit harshly, it's messy and not very coordinated for a usually very coordinated man but there's not much else he can do like this. There's not much else he needs to do. He feels you tightening up around him and groans, hand on your thigh squeezing encouragingly and hips keeping the exact same pace and angle to not risk ruining your impending orgasm.
"Ji," You warn, voice getting higher.
"I-I know," He replies and squeezes again. "Cum for me, baby,"
It's a few more rough presses of his thumb against your clit and then you're tensing up a split second before your back bows and you let out strings of moans and curses mixed with variations of his name in a combination that is pure music to his ears. There's a fraction of a moment here where he regrets not pressing record on the room mic so that he can listen back on this session like he has many of them before, but he doesn't have the brain power to consider it for long.
Jihoon knows you don't need him to keep playing with your clit or fucking the same way to ride through your orgasm so he moves both hands to press against the back of your thighs, folding you up. He hadn't intended for your heels to wind up pressed to his chest, it's just a real fucking happy accident that causes him to rapidly piston his hips, fucking his cock into you with nothing but the intention to cum.
You whine at the fast stimulation, it's teetering on the brink of making you too sensitive as the dregs of your orgasm trickle through your system, and feeling so fucking good that you never want him to stop. It feels good, perhaps too good even but you just take it, eyes rolled back and head lolled back on your shoulders.
After a moment or two, you have enough presence of mind to lift your head and look at Jihoon; his eyes are closed tight, eyebrows furrowed with utter desperate concentration as he chases his high and sweat dappling his forehead. Without thought, you press both heels into his chest and just like that, Jihoon's hips slap harshly against you a few times as his orgasm racks through his body while he chokes out gasping moans and digs his fingers into your thighs tightly. You don't bruise quite as easily as him but you're pretty sure he's going to create at least a few faint ones with how hard he's holding you. Not that you mind.
Slowly, Jihoon falls still and then loosens his hold though he doesn't open his eyes yet as he pants and tries to suck in some air.
You know he's feeling much more like himself again when his hands slide up to lift your legs by the back of your ankles so that he can press a soft, grateful kiss to the exposed skin on the top of each foot. And then he carefully pulls out of you with one hand holding the condom in place and the other supporting your ankles in one hand. He gently helps you lower your legs down before he moves aside to dispose of the condom and grab the wipes from the drawer.
"So," You start when he's back in front of you and doing his best to wipe at your sticky thighs. He looks at you and notices your grin. "High heel kink, huh?"
"Shut up." He scoffs, though there's a twitch to his lips giving away his little smile when he turns to clean himself up too then throws out the wipes.
"What?" You giggle and slide off the desk carefully to pull your underwear and jeans back up and fasten them into place. "It's cute."
"Seriously, babe, shut up."
"No." You giggle and tottle over to throw your arms around him from behind. He sighs and finishes tying up his sweatpants back in place before turning to face you, naturally putting his hands on your waist.
"Hm, maybe you can wear heels around me more." He muses, realising your modest cleavage is right in his face. He leans in and doesn't hesitate to suction onto the skin he can access like this.
"Shall we go now?" You suggest, running your fingers through his hair. He hums against your skin then smooths a hand down to your ass to slap it quickly. "Asshole."
"Mm," He agrees and steps back to eye the growing bruise then lowers his gaze to your feet. "You need to change those though, I can't be seen with my dick hard in public."
"Spoilsport."
"I'm a fucking idol, I can't risk that shit." He scoffs and moves to save his work and turn off everything while you remove the high heels and pack them neatly back into the box they came in.
"Yeah, whatever, they're off. Now let's go get take out and fuck in the backseat."
"Sounds good to me, baby."
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you must like me for me - quinn hughes (a sneak peak !)
a/n: another fic idea i've had in my head for ages ! i started writing it the other day when i was sick and it's currently at 3k words. i'm CONFIDENT that i'll smash this one out quicker than my aho fic so it's the only reason i feel like i can post a sneak peak. but also let me know if you have any requests or ideas you'd like me to write about - i'd love to hear from you 🤍
summary: twelve months since the incident and you're ready to let yourself re-emerge into the public eye in the form of a hockey game. the plan was simple: appear, smile, leave unscathed. easy, right?
The theory of fight or flight has always fascinated you. In the face of adversity, no matter how complex the situation, millions of years of evolution still dictate that humanity will always revert to its oldest survival mechanism: to either assert and neutralize, or: evade and withdraw. 
What you’ve come to learn is that there’s a third strategy nestled between fight or flight, often overlooked because of its passiveness in comparison to its overt counterparts: to freeze. 
And that’s the instinct you’ve found yourself falling back on time and time again. As if you’re hoping to blend into the very fabric of the environment where you can pause amid the chaos, weigh the risks, and soundly determine the best course of action. 
The downturn? 
You’re left vulnerable and exposed the longer you wait. 
But it’s a tactic that you’ve grown familiar with, and it’s the one that’s currently in motion. 
“You can’t do this to her, she isn’t ready.”
“It’s been over a year, we can’t let her hide forever.” 
The commotion of voices being thrown around surrounds you but you’re too swept up with the memories and emotions battling out in your head. They’re leaving you dizzy and disorientated. 
One year. Had it really been that long? God. It feels like one month since you first signed your contract in front of a roomful of lawyers and high-powered executives. Back then, you were too naively charmed by the golden promises of stardom and fame that they were selling you. Promising that your talent for lyricism, bordering on poetry, would resonate with the hearts of girls who all seemed to unanimously share the parallel experiences of all things love and girlhood. That you needed a team that could provide you with the right connections and the right opportunities to get you there. 
And to their credit, they didn’t fail you. As soon as you signed your contract, the label had you in the studio effective immediately with the release of “your” song debuting four weeks later. 
“But I didn’t write this and it doesn’t really sound like me…” 
“Don’t worry about it, honey. We just need to get you on the charts and then you can write about anything you want. Trust us - this is how it all works.” 
And trust them you did.
Your song topped the charts for twelve consecutive weeks. The events that took place after your overnight success were a whirlwind. You released a music video. You did media interviews. You collabed with DJs to release remixes. You performed as a guest on endless TV shows. And when you were done, you thought that you would finally be able to sit down with your producers to start developing the library of ideas and single-line lyrics you had swimming around in your head. 
But they had other plans for you in the form of a studio album, and then rinse and repeat. You felt like you were a human cannonball: shot out, forced to perform carefully curated tricks, and to always stick the landing. 
Your team had done everything they could to meticulously craft your image; selectively allowing journalists to access certain stories whether it be about your work or your life. You were America’s Darling. Until you weren’t. 
A sharp trill of your name grounds you back into reality. You blink and recompose yourself, finding the same four people you entered the boardroom with, staring expectantly back at you. Your mom, your manager, Megan, your publicist, Bec, and sat opposite you across the insanely large table is the VP of your label, Joe. Their expressions are ones you’ve grown used to: sympathetic and slightly defeated.  
“Sorry, what was the question?” 
Megan sighs and shifts slightly in her chair to meet your front. “Darling, I know how hard this year has been for you,” 
Do you? 
“But it’s time for us to come back out. We need to face this.” 
In all the years you’ve worked with Megan, she has never offered you such softness in her voice as she has now. As a manager, a female manager in this industry nonetheless, she had been nothing short of headstrong, sharp, and commanding. Her confidence and demeanour never wavered and, if you were being honest, you were thankful that she held you to the same standard as the rest of your team. It equipped you with a thick skin, something that you wouldn’t have survived your young career without. And it leaves you to wonder where you would be now without her to guide you through this situation. 
“Megan is right,” Joe says. “The world hasn’t forgotten, you know.” 
It comes out so matter-of-factly that it feels almost accusatory. 
“You’re not the first celebrity to be wrapped up in a scandal and you certainly won’t be the last.” 
That line is enough to make your mom snap into a fury again. 
“A scandal? She did nothing wrong,” she chastises. “What that boy did is not her fault.” 
Joe’s impatience is growing evident with every turn of the conversation. As warranted as your mother’s protectiveness is for this particular circumstance, her resistance was stopping one of his biggest artists from bringing in the label money. You can tell he's trying his best to level his demeanour but you also know that the higher-ups are breathing down his neck. He's balancing it as well as anyone could.
“This wasn’t just any boy. And your daughter is not just any girl. The reality of the situation is that just because she wasn’t responsible for what happened, doesn’t mean we can simply erase her from it,” Joe breaks, voice raising ever so slightly.
“She cannot keep silent on this anymore and the longer we stretch this out, the more intense the backlash will be upon her,” he presses on. “With all due respect, we have been extremely patient and have afforded your daughter twelve months. But this is a business first and there is a contract to be upheld. We are giving you the opportunity to write the narrative or have it forced to be written for you.” 
“He’s right,” Bec interjects. She’s always had a good gauge of when to step in when tensions start rising. It’s what makes her such a great publicist - always mediating at the right time. 
“But we don’t have to rush either. We can take it slowly. Start off with a public appearance in a controlled environment. 
The juxtaposition of that sentence could have made you laugh. Controlled environment? If the last few years had taught you anything, it was that no public appearance was ever fully in your control. Your phone number had been leaked more times than you could remember; the media showed up at your house at all hours of the night; private family events were invaded by obsessed “fans”. 
Your mom was quick to make the same connection, “where could we possibly let her go that guarantees her safety?” 
“The suite at MSG has their security system locked down to a tee. We could place her in there with a few friends and guise it as a quiet night out to show their support. Maybe work with the organisation to show her on the scoreboard during a break, totally candid of course, and maybe meet with their guest of the night for some fan engagement. We don’t want the public to misconstrue the appearance as a total cover-up.” Bec rattles off like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 
Megan and Joe start nodding in agreeance, chiming in with additional tweaks to the plan that’s now been laid out, and it becomes apparent to you that they’ve had this meeting before without you. Your requested input and presence on the matter was just an act of courtesy. But as vexed as you are with this realisation, you know it makes sense. You were tired of the pitied looks your family and friends gave you, afraid to broach the subject as if it would send you into a spiral. You felt like the public owned you; shunning you into silence with all your actions picked apart and psychoanalyzed everywhere you turned. 
You missed your fans who called for you every day, writing sweet notes of encouragement and rebuffing shallow attempts of hate accounts concocting false stories. You wouldn’t be half the artist you are today without them and they deserved more than just radio silence. And it’s this last thought that makes you believe it’s the only reason you say:
“Just tell me when.” 
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avianyuh · 2 days
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Helloo💕 imagine ( headcanon ) the reader asking nct127 members to move in with herand they get excited and flushed
NCT 127 Reaction: Asking To Move In Together
Taeil:
Taeil can be kind of timid, so when you brought up the idea of moving in, his fcae immediately went tomato red.
"How long have you been thinking about this?", he asked curiously.
You could tell he has happy by the way he was trying to hide his growing smile.
"I don't know...a few weeks, but um, what would you think of that?", you responded, nervous for his answer.
"All I'm thinking is why you didn't ask sooner."
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Taeyong:
Would get SO SHY. He had noticed that you had stared to complain about the back and forth between your respective places. "I was looking for my jeans yesterday morning cuz I wanted to wear them, then I realized that they were at your place", you said, immediately followed by a long, exaggerated sigh. "Maybe it would just be easier to live together..."
Boom, just like that, you put it out there. This suggestion made Taeyong look up in surprise, his brows raised. Then he looked down as the floor, trying to conceal his growing grin. "You think so?", he questioned shyly.
"I mean...unless you don't want to", you replied.
"NO!", he yelled, "I do", he said, appearing by your side in a flash, pulling you into a warm hug.
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Johnny:
Johnny up until when you asked, had never expressed interest in living together. So, you had been avoiding bringing up the commitment for the past year or so since you had really gotten serious. But, you were starting to grow frustrated, this was mainly due to the fact that on days Johnny had a schedule, he would either be working way too late, which meant that he didn't end up seeing you, or he would show up at your apartment by the time you were asleep and he would do the same, fall asleep. So really, there was no seeing your boyfriend when he was busy.
If you lived together, you would get to spend the mornings together and that in turn would take a lot of pressure off of the night-time and would be less dependent on when he got home.
So, after a long schedule for Johnny, and after many cups of coffee for you, he came through the front door of your apartment looking sleepy, but was surprised when his eyes darted towards the dark shadow on the couch (which was you)
"Hey! Why are you still up?", he questioned as he took his shoes off and went to join you on the couch.
"Because Johnny, I never get to see you. When you get busy, it's almost like I don't have a boyfriend. And it's not your fault, it's just that I wish we didn't have to rely on your schedule to see each other. I wish that there was a guarantee."
"I know..." he agreed, "But I don't know what to do?"
"If we loved together, we'd be able to see each other in the morning.", you threw it out there. You had wanted to move in with him for over a year, but never asked due to the fear that he might say no. You looked away from him, focusing on the window that overlooked the city.
He cleared his throat, "I think we're ready for that...", he said, looking quite happy to your surprise.
You gasped and leaped towards him, falling into your boyfriend's (and now roommates) arms.
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Yuta:
Yuta spent most of his time at your place. You basically did love together, to the point where he gradually stopped packing bags when he came to stay with you, because most of his clothes were at yours anyways.
You had never thought to ask. The reason being, you had to remind yourself sometimes that he actually didn't live with you.
One day, as the two of you lay on the couch, his arm around you as you watched TV, you randomly just blurted out the thought.
"Why don't you just officially move in?", you basically wondered out loud.
"Well that was random", he said.
"Sorry, I was just thinking about it, all of your stuff is already here. It really wouldn't take much effort to move the last few things in here. I would just give you a key to really make it official." You turned your head to look at him and smiled when you saw him smirking.
"You really love me huh?", he joked.
"Hush", you said as you leaned in for a kiss.
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Doyoung:
Doyoung had his own place, you lived with roommates. You spent most of your time at his apartment. But had secretly been wishing that he'd ask you to move in with him.
One night as you were both falling asleep in his bed, you asked him if he ever got lonely on nights you didn't stay over.
"Yeah", he admitted. "Sometimes I wish you were always here."
After hearing that, you felt your heart flutter
"Well, what if I could be?", you questioned.
"You want to move in?", he asked, surprised. His head shot up form his pillow at the speed of light. "Would that be something you'd want to do?"
"Yeah, it would, I hate when I have to go nights without seeing you", you explained.
"We'll start packing tomorrow", he said.
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Jaehyun:
Jaehyun and you had never quite exited the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Everything you did felt new. Every date, sleepover, concert of his that you attended.
So, when you asked if for his thoughts on living together, all it really was and meant was the fact that you asked before he could.
Just at the proposition, he lifted you onto the counter, whispering a "When would we start?" and brought you into a kiss.
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Jungwoo:
Also pretty soft-spoken, with a tendency to get shy.
So when he was asked, he started giggling. Then he covered his face.
But when you asked him what that meant, he uncovered his face and nodded his head 'Yes'
You clapped and pulled him into a hug, his face was now bright red.
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Mark:
*Like, imagine asking Mark Lee to move in with you?????*
"Um, uh, move in? You mean like...LIVE together. Everyday, just see each other?", Mark's eyes were wide.
His mind was racing with all of these different thoughts. Fears, happiness, goals to set and a bunch of boring adult stuff to figure out.
"Yeah, I think we'd make great roomies.", he teased.
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Haechan:
You had been out with Haechan getting dinner. You had been talking about a bunch of things and you casually mentioned that you were getting sick of your roommate.
He listened silently, nodding his head every once and awhile.
"I don't know, I just I could find somewhere else sometimes...", you said, finishing your rant. "Too bad I couldn't live with you.", you said jokingly.
Haechan, who had been taking a sip of his drink, almost choked at the mention. "Would that be something you'd consider?", he questioned nervously.
"I mean, yeah, we've been dating for two years...", you responded.
"Then let's do it", he said smiling.
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[A/N: Hello my lovely Tumblr people! I still have a lot of requests to get through. I hope Anon enjoyed this and anyone else who's reading. Have a beautiful day or night🩷]
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crazyyluvr · 1 day
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hi! Can I please please ask a kaz brekker x reader? I was thinking of reader being a blind heartrender. I headcanon blind grishas to have their abilities amplified, and a blind heartrender would be basically daredevil XD.
Thank you in advance for reading the request, I really loved six of crows!
I am the QUEEN of Hearts, Don't Tell Me Otherwise
pairing: kaz brekker x reader
summary: Having a blind Heartrender has its perks. For Kaz Brekker, having a blind Heartrender that can hear his heartbeat change around her has its disadvantages.
genre: fluff
wc: 3.4k
content: reader is blind, fem!reader with she/her prns, violence (some torture), reading is a bit clumsy, kaz's heart speeds up a lot
note: OMG I LOVE THIS IDEA <33 tysm for requesting anon. i hope this layout is fine, i just wanted to try something different. sorry if it's kinda bad, i wrote it in one sitting LMFAO. either way, hope u enjoy!!
oneshot under the cut :: not edited
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Perks
1. You didn't need your eyes to see.
It was very useful in heists to have someone who knew that someone was walking towards them without having to actually see them. Being blind somehow enhanced your hearing and your touch on your Grisha powers, and that was why you could do a lot of things easier than other Heartrenders — even Nina — had difficulty with.
It was one of the main reasons why you stuck with Kaz when he had to crack a safe; you were basically his lookout.
"Someone's around three minutes out," you whispered to him, standing a few paces behind Kaz who was hunched over a safe. Your head was tilted to the side, your ears were focusing on a melody only you could hear.
"Scratch that, two minutes out, they're moving faster," you reported. "Are you almost done?"
Kaz focus on the complicated lock didn't break as he replied, "I need more time."
"Okay," You moved forward, hands in front of your thighs to guide you around the desk in front of you.
"Thirty seconds," You said, the heart beat of the approaching guard getting louder and louder. "How down?"
"Shut-eye," He replied.
You put your hand up in front of you.
The doorknob jingled a little, and you activated your power, drastically slowing the heartbeat of the guard before he could open the door. You heard a thud on the floor, and you knew that he was unconscious.
A few seconds later, the safe clicked open. Kaz reached in and grabbed the money that you came for. "You could have at least tried to soften his fall or something. Someone could have heard that."
You shook your head. "There's no one close enough to hear." You turned to Kaz's voice, a small smirk on your lips. "Besides, It's just the two of us. I didn't want to leave you alone, 'cause you'd miss me too much."
Kaz rolled his eyes. "Don't feed your ego. It's not a fitting sight for you."
You laughed a little. "Like you don't do that everyday."
You turned to get out of the room, opening to door to free yourself. The door opened halfway before it suddenly stopped, like it was blocked by something. You didn't expect the obstruction, which caused you to trip over something and fall to the floor with a loud bang on the wooden ground.
Kaz stood over you in concern. You had tripped over the unconscious guard's body. "I thought his body was facing the other way," you groaned.
Kaz didn't have time to reply before both of you heard shouts in the corridors. Looks like they could hear that. He used his cane to get hold of the back of your jacket and pulled you to your feet.
"Time to go!" You dusted yourself off, leaping over the body and speedwalking away from the thundering of more guards, Kaz right at your heels.
2. You could always tell if someone was distressed.
You didn't live in the Slat, since you preferred to have your own place away from the gang, but that didn't make you any less close to Jesper, Inej, Wylan, Nina, and Matthias. You visited the Crows often, whether it be in the Slat or Crow Club.
You knew how important getting together was to them, whether or not they'd admit it. In a life full of mistrust and traitors, it was hard to find a crowd that you could actually trust. Of course, your friends had their own secrets that they kept to themselves, like how you had your own, but being with them without the pressure of telling them those stories was precious.
You were able to loosen up around them, laugh with them without the fear of judgement or that these moments of vulnerability would be used against you.
Instead, you relied on them to just forget your current struggles as you talked about stupid things over drinks.
You also used it as a chance to check up on them. You couldn't see them but you could hear them. Being blind made you sharpen your hearing more, both with our without the use of your Grisha abilities.
You could tell when there was something bothering your friends, which is why you knew there was something bothering Wylan when you and your friends decided to share some drinks in the Crow Club.
Jesper was mid-argument with Nina about what came first: the chicken or the egg. Inej and Matthias were just listening to them, occasionally adding their own thoughts or laughing when either of the debaters made a particularly stupid point.
You noticed that Wylan wasn't talking as much as he normally did. You felt him fidgeting beside you, his arm or his leg twitching more than it usually does.
If those weren't enough of a sign that there was something weighing on his mind, then there was his heart that also proved that point. It never seemed to settle. His shallow breaths that occasionally came in huffs of frustration agitated the muscle in the middle of his chest, making it beat faster than normal.
"Hey," you whispered to him, breaking him out of his troubled trance. He looked at you curiously. "Are you okay?" You asked, your brows unknowingly furrowing in concern.
"I'm fine," Wylan said, smiling reassuringly.
You rolled your white eyes. "You do know that fake smiles won't work on the blind, right?"
Wylan's smile dropped, shocked. "How did you know I was smiling?"
"I didn't," you shrugged, taking a sip from your glass. "I just guessed. But seriously, is there something wrong? You seem more distressed."
Wylan sighed, leaning back in his chair. He looked around at your table, and when he confirmed that none of your companions were paying the two of you any mind, he answered truthfully. "My dad's still sending me letters."
"I hope you've burned those letters," you huffed, feeling your blood boil quietly at the mention of Wylan's horrible sperm donor. "He's just trying to provoke you, make you feel worthless."
"But —"
"Don't even try to tell me that you are worthless, Wylan," you said harshly, turning your head towards him despite your blank eyes not meeting his gaze, instead staring through him. That did nothing to lessen the defiance in them. "You may not be able to read, but who cares? I can read for you, Jesper can read for you. That's kind of the point of having friends, we'll make up for whatever you lack."
Wylan thought about it for a moment. You could tell that your words worked on him from the way his breaths eased and his heart steadied.
"Yeah..." A smile slowly spread on Wylan's lips, a genuine one this time. "Thanks."
"Anything to stop your very loud heartbeat from distracting me," you joked, making Wylan laugh.
Kaz watched the interaction from the bar, his eyes unreadable as he turned back to his drink, finishing it before heading upstairs without another word.
3. Lies couldn't hide from you.
Kaz swung his cane, the crow handle finding its mark on the man's knee, hitting it with a sickening crack. He cried out in pain, keeling over but not going that far due to his hands chained to the ceiling.
The man was a spy placed in the Dregs. You found him when you were having a private heist meeting and heard his heart lingering out the front door.
So now, you were both trying to find out who hired the traitor — well, more like Kaz was beating him up for answers while you served as his lie detector.
"Who are you working for?" Kaz said, repeating the question he's been drilling into the man for the past hour. Despite the way he was pathetically sobbing, he still refused to give up the name of his boss.
Not out of loyalty, but out of fear, you thought, taking note of the way his heart beat at a pace only set by fear. Fear not only for what Kaz could and would do to him, but also fear for what would happen if he gave Kaz what he wanted.
"Olek!" He cried. Kaz, blood splattered on his black vest that was exposed from his decision to abandon his coat for mobility, turned to you expectantly.
You shook your head. "Lie."
Kaz swung his cane again without hesitation, this time bringing hitting the man's chest. The man's scream in pain was worse than before.
Kaz probably broke a few ribs, you thought offhandedly, only flinching in disgust when you felt some of the blood from the man's mouth hit your cheek. You wiped it off immediately.
"I was telling the truth!" He yelled, sobbing. "I was telling the truth!"
Kaz used his cane to tilt the man's head up by the chin, forcing him to meet Dirtyhands' cruel stare. He would receive no mercy, as there was nothing that could be given in the first place.
"My Heartrender said you lied, so you lied," Kaz said through gritted teeth. "If she keeps saying otherwise, you will die for this boss of yours. Are you willing to give your life for someone who could care less about it?"
When he received no response other than cries, Kaz prepared to hit with his cane again.
"Karlos!" The man screamed, pausing Kaz mid-swing. "Karlos Drulak!"
Kaz didn't turn to you before you spoke, your smile heard in your voice behind him. "There's our answer."
Your satisfaction was mutual, as Kaz's shoulders let go of some of its tension as he straightened — well, as much as he could without relying on his bloodied cane. "Finally." He readjusted his gloves and turned around, limping away, only stopping to speak to you.
"Send him to the grave."
Your smile widened into a grin, your teeth flashing in the lamplight. "With pleasure."
Kaz left you to your business, the screams of terror fading into the night as he went to the Slat to formulate a plan with the new information he'd just gained.
—————
Disadvantages
1. You didn't need your eyes to see him.
You always knew it was him.
Whether he would enter the Crow Club to find you drinking with Jesper, or he'd knock on your apartment door with an important matter in mind, or even just passing by him in a busy market despite the noise and the multiple heartbeats.
You always noticed him.
It bugged Kaz. He knew that no matter what other disguises he may put on, no matter whether or not he had his cane to tap on the tiles of the road or the wood of the Crow Club or the Slat, you always knew it was him.
He stood in front of your door, staring at the number in front of him. The plan for your heist the next day had undergone many changes, and he had to inform you of them.
He took a deep breath, raising his knuckles to knock.
"Come in, Kaz," you called, voice muffled from inside the apartment. It always happened when he popped by; he'd inhale, prepare to knock on the door, only for you to interrupt him and just tell him to go in.
He let out a quiet huff almost fondly. Of course she knew.
He opened the door, letting himself in. "You knew it was me." It was a question said as a statement. That's just how Kaz normally speaks when he's curious but wants to hide the fact that he's curious, but you could always tell the difference.
"Of course," you said, not looking up from your construction of your beverage. Your hands had eyes of their own, moving to the familiar spots of your condiments. "Your heartbeat."
"Everyone has their own, do they not?"
You laughed, meeting his jab with softness. "Yeah, they do, but none of them quite beat like yours."
Kaz's heart sped up a little at the words, and he knew that he couldn't hide it from you. Your knowing smirk just made him feel warmer.
2. You could always tell when he was distressed.
Kaz wasn' the only one who had access to unannounced appearances.
You made it a habit of appearing randomly in his office just like him visiting you in your apartment, but unlike Kaz, you sometimes came there just for his company, to just sit down on the spare chair in front of his desk and read or draw or whatever your mood makes you do. Neither of you say a word, but you could tell that he was also content with the arrangement.
You found Kaz seeming more distraught than usual, the normally steady beat of his heart thundering like a skittish horse that was cornered by unwanted oppressors.
Kaz didn't look up from his the papers on his desk when your signature knock reverberated in his space, or when you swung the door open to let yourself in.
"Is there something wrong?" You asked casually, approaching your seat and sinking into it. There was something oddly comforting about the hard wood resting on your back, like an anchor in an unknown sea.
Kaz tilted his head to look at you, eyebrows raised. "What makes you think there's something wrong."
You playfully waved your hand in Kaz's general area. "You gave off a distraught aura the moment I stepped into the room."
Kaz scoffed, making you smile. That was the closest thing you'd get to a laugh from him.
You let your playful persona slip as your face blanked, your white eyes staring at him seriously. "Kruge for your thoughts?"
Kaz studied you for a moment, before leaning back in his chair with a sigh. He ran a gloved hand through his slightly messy hair in frustration. "Per Haskell gave away one of two of our storage units for twelve thousand kruge."
Your eyebrows shot up in shock. "Just twelve thousand?"
"Exactly," Kaz huffed. "I'm trying to get it back, but the buyer's refusing. They haven't even moved in yet, and I already told them I can return the money they gave."
Kaz intertwined his fingers with each other, thinking deeply.
His dilemma also put your brain to work, shuffling through the possible solutions.
"Who bought it?" You asked.
"Karlos Drulak," Kaz said. The name sounded familiar to you.
You snapped your fingers, pointing to Kaz's left side. Kaz lifted his cane and moved your finger to point directly at him like you intended.
"Ah thank you," you said before continued. "He's the one who hired the other dude! The one who infiltrated the Dregs."
Kaz perked up slightly at the memory. How could that have slipped from his mind?
"Do you think that him buying our unit can be related to his unknown issue with us?" You wondered aloud.
"That's certainly a possibility," Kaz hummed.
You grinned. "See? Your heartbeat has already slowed."
You stood up, hefting the book you never opened in the office with you. "Well, I'll leave you to your thoughts. I'm sure you can figure it out on your own."
"Are you leaving me because you don't want to brainstorm?" Kaz rose an eyebrow in slight amusement as you made a beeline for the door, your feet having already memorized the layout of the room.
Your chin hooked on your shoulder to give him a view of your grin. "Too much of something is bad. Even thinking."
You gave him a lazy salute as you left, but as you closed the door, you could have sworn you heard a laugh escape the man's lips over the faster beating of his heart.
3. He couldn't lie to you.
Kaz's hearing was muffled from the sound of ringing in his ears. He forced his eyes to open, blinking hard to try and shake away whatever spell unconsciousness casted upon him.
He saw you crouching over him, eyes staring down at his chest, where you had a hand over. You must've revived him.
He felt panic thrum in his veins, his hands moving before he could stop them from slapping your palm away from him.
"Kaz!" Your voice was oddly muffled as he tried to stand up. His bad leg didn't cooperate with his wishes as he fell back down on the rough ground.
He looked back at you, and now you kept a respectable distance from him, your form framed by flame with worry creasing your forehead and pulling the corners of your lips downwards. He barely heard your next words: "Breathe!"
He forced his chest to comply, inhaling the smoky air and exhaling with a cough.
Two more of those, and you held out his cane for him to grab, slightly askew. He hesitated, but grabbed on it, letting you pull him to his feet using his cane. He was swaying on his feet, and you could tell from his slowing heartbeat that he was close to fainting from smoke inhalation.
"I know you don't like being touched, but you can't walk out of here without me helping!" You shouted. You felt pity pinch your chest at the ay Kaz’s heart sped up at that. You didn’t want to force him but you had no choice.
You didn't have time to wait for him to regain his bearings as part of the flaming roof collapsed mere feet away from you two. You flinched at the bang, but you didn't hesitate to sling his arm around your shoulders and drag him out of the room, snatching Kaz's cane and using it as your guide to the entrance right before you felt the flames lick the back of your coat.
Kaz furiously patted the small patch of flame on your back to extinguish it. He felt the water on his waist slowly rising, but he tried to push it down.
It was just you, his Heartrender. He'll be fine.
"C'mon, Jes is waiting for us at the rendezvous," you said, your voice strained from carrying most of Kaz's weight. He tried to walk on his own, to lessen your burden, but his body was too weak for it.
You left the building, Karlos Drulak's brand-new bar. Hey, at least the color of the fumes complimented the brown...?
Jesper caught you two and rushed forward to help, but you stopped him with a single shake of your head. It took a lot for Kaz to just let you keep him upright, what more if Jesper added to that?
You both hobbled as one to a safe distance before Kaz collapsed inside an alleyway. He took deep breaths, trying to fight the black roses of anxiety that bloomed in the corners of his vision.
"Kaz, look at me," you spoke, feeling his heart rate spike, but you weren't sure what you could do to help. "Kaz, what can I do?"
"Talk," He strained. "Distract me."
"Uh — okay, okay," your brain scrambled for some story to pull up, so it decided to bring you a memory from your childhood. "There was a time where I revived a dog of my old neighbor when I was seven years old," you said, your eyes trained on his chest like you can see his heart. "My parents were off to work, so they left me with the neighbor, and his heart just stopped beating. The neighbors didn't know what to do, but I just put a hand on him and willed his heart to beat again. He lived for seven more years after that before he peacefully passed."
"You should have let that dog die," Kaz gasped, but his breaths were slowly evening out. "I hate animals."
You smiled lightly. "Liar."
"How can you tell I'm lying? My heartbeat's already all over the place," Kaz huffed.
"I don't need my power to tell that you're lying," you said, shaking your head fondly. "I know you Kaz. In the years that we've worked together, I got to know you. I know you feed your scraps of food to the strays behind the Crow Club, which is why they keep coming back for more."
"Didn't know anyone noticed," Kaz said, his breaths more symmetrical as his vision cleared.
You laughed. "You really expected me to not notice?" Kaz saw how you hesitated, how your smile faltered before you continued with seriousness lacing your voice. "I always notice when it comes to you."
Kaz sighed, gently grabbing the cane from you and hauling himself to his feet. "Let's go to the Slat. Better make sure that the others know we're alive."
"Wow, you want to tell them you're alive so they don't get worried?" You cooed, walking a few feet beside him and syncing your steps with him. "Soft is a good look on you."
"Shut up, Heartrender," He grumbled, but a small smile broke through his face.
"Your Heartrender," you sang, skipping slightly knowing that he can't deny you from the sudden speed of his heart.
He shook his head, the smile still not leaving his face as you both walked.
His Heartrender indeed.
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desperatepleasures · 2 years
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@ myself I am BEGGING and PLEADING for you to stop comparing yourself to others
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daily-hanamura · 6 months
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#p4#persona 4#p4g#persona 4 golden#hanamura yosuke#yosuke hanamura#“i should be the one thanking you though” god yosuke GOD he still sees so much of this as him seeking justice for saki huh#nearly one year in and he still feels like this was a responsibility of his. that it was his burden that he had put on to yu.#that initial moment when he asked yu for help in entering the tv world like he still saw it as yu following through with his word primarily#i feel like there's an implication here that he thought yu might/could abandon this task for something else.#rank 10 when yosuke says “somewhere deep down I didn't trust you... no it's more like... i was jealous of you” idk i think on some level#yosuke didn't trust yu. i think yosuke who is used to being let down and used to only being paid lip service and superficial relationships#he didn't believe that someone as competent and as beloved and as enviable as yu would pull through for someone like yosuke#which again i want to shake yosuke like a snowglobe BECAUSE BBYBOY PLS HAVE MORE FAITH IN YOURSELF#DO YOU STILL NOT SEE HOW MUCH YOU'VE CHANGED YU AS MUCH AS HE'S CHANGED YOU#DO YOU KNOW UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN YU WAS THANKING YOU IT WAS FOR THE SAME REASONS??#THAT YOU STAYED UNFLINCHINGLY BY HIS SIDE THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD??#THAT YU ALSO HAD HIS BURDEN OF BEING A WILDCARD DESPITE BEING SOMEONE THAT STAYED CAREFULLY DETACHED SOCIALLY#BUT YOU. YOSUKE. YOU WERE THE ONE THAT CHANGED HIS MIND AND HELPED HIM AND MADE HIM BETTER AND I#YU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT LOYALTY AND DEEP MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS LOOKED LIKE EITHER UNTIL YOU AAAA WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT#srry idk why that was in all caps i got very passionate for a moment#anyway. them.#he's good with his queue
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osamid · 8 months
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an interesting (unpopular? i think?) soukoku opinion i have is i don't think dazai was oblivious to his feelings towards chuuya, like ever. i understand WHY people interpret dazai as having trouble identifying and reckoning with his emotions; i'm not knocking it! there's plenty of evidence to suggest that and also i think it fits with his actions. HOWEVER. for me dazai is the most fun when he's deliberately suppressing and neglecting his own feelings. dazai realizes at the tender age of like 15 that he's at least infatuated with chuuya, and his first instinct is "well how do i compartmentalize that. how do i make sure this doesn't interfere with my plans and our job at the mafia." and then he compromises with his emotions by keeping chuuya close but not allowing himself to seem too affectionate or "trick" chuuya into liking him back. i think this version of dazai is most compelling to me because then the struggle isn't "get blockhead dazai to realize he's in/can love" its "get blockhead dazai to realize he's allowed to indulge in love" which is much more fun, especially when you have seven (or even more, i don't think this mindset would be limited to chuuya) years worth of distancing himself from his own emotions to contend with.
#putting the more negative parts in the tags i think another reason i'm not partial to the “dazai is oblivious to his own feelings” headcanon#is that it sorta implies that dazai isn't self-aware?#which like. he clearly is. i think moments when we (the veiwer) think he isn't self aware is the result of the MEDIA not being self-aware#<- talking about his treatment of akutagawa and other such failures. “don't pity yourself” moment. the whole father thing.#dazai doesn't acknowledge these flaws because the source material doesn't think its a flaw either#but i digress. my point here is that i personally think dazai is so painfully self-aware that it turns into over-rationalizing himself#dazai's emotions to him are just as irrelevant as his physical needs and such like that.#does this make sense? idk#example i'll give: his character growth as he trusts the ada and works less utterly on his own mind#i think dazai is capable of seeing his own trust issues and what not from the very beginning#but it's only after it's been proved to him that him that no total control isn't the most logical option#and in fact trusting his allies CAN work out without pulling every string#that dazai beings to take down (a few) of his walls#its not that dazai doesn't know he has feelings. its that they aren't relevant to him#they cause him grief#fuck up his plans#and (to him) need to be squared away and dismissed as soon as possible#i know that isn't in line with the no longer human novel but WHATEVS#my hcs#bsd#skk#bsd dazai
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muu-kun · 1 year
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#; ♡ ; okay to reblog#muu has admittedly been describing is self perceived melancholy and isolation regarding it#as being comparable to the circle drawn around Sadness in Inside Out due to others finding his emotions to be Too Much in capacity#and that as such he has thus been persistently trying to make himself very very small in spaces#so that maybe perhaps someone would soon be able to reside in the circle with him just until he gets to where he feels he is supposed to be#muu has also stated on numerous actions that while he is adamant about self healing he is not necessarily of preference#to not have the assistance of peers and their feedback and he tends he show it most predominantly in asking them to hear Everything#about himself in the form of the big box because one he wants assurances at the end of it all but also because he Has to be explaining#his processes of thought and general state of where he is now to people so that they may go Oh so that why you do the neurotic shit you do#but it really be hard out here when you don't know how to self advocate for a persistently emotionally present romantic partner#you don't really have any friends and you are either God awful at making new ones or you don't want to try for reasons of either#feeling scorned past close friends of yours have left time and time again OR#because you don't know what version of yourself is the Real one or the Good one or the Authentic one so you avoid socializing#until you can properly answer that dilemma but in turn you've left yourself with 1 person to seek out and talk to#but with that comes the existential dread of either a this person is also going to leave me or#b I am in fact so totally codependent on them that it isn't fair to be my sole research for assistance that I ought to fend for myself#but what do you even do to fend for yourself when you don't even know how to Advocate for yourself??#you devise a plan to shrink down and provide no indication to those around you that you are struggling with anything#that perhaps shriveling yourself down like that will allow for people to find you tolerable enough to be around#and that their presences will patch up every interpersonal wound in your system until eventually what you are faking has come true#; ♡ ; inner thoughts
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snekdood · 2 days
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personally, i dont see the fundamental difference between deleting your account and making a new one and deleting all your old posts, if we're talking about "running from ones past", then what are you tryna hide there, bud?
#mood#vent#the evidence of your past is gone regardless either way sooooooooooo#how is it so different and how do you keep convincing yourself you're morally superior?#i mean- this is me pretending I agree that that's true to play devils advocate a lil here#bc i know the only reason i deleted any account of mine was bc i just like fresh starts sometimes#and tbh i struggle to find a username i like and some website require me to delete & remake in order to change it#what-- is the problem that you struggle to hold on to me and keep track of me?#bc i promise as soon as i start posting my ocs people Will know who I am regardless of if I recreate-#at least yall and your kiwifarms stalking-ass followers will recognize it and immediately report back to their cult leader#so whats your issue here EXACTLY?#you're already documenting everything I do. so whats your issue?#i mean. is it bc other people wont 'know who I am' and what YOU think i'm like? even though other people- strangers-#already dont know who I am?#bc if thats your argument- I could say the same for you! how are people supposed to 'know who you are' when you delete all your posts?#there was only 1 time I actually deleted my acct out of fear of how ppl would treat me- and it was bc I was dating you!#you made me feel like I had to be Perfect. so quite frankly#blame yourself you bum#what can I say- ig i learned how to cover my tracks from you.#bc before you- I probably would have left it up even with all the bs happening at the time#and now I regret deleting it bc the only reason I did was to impress you with how Good I Am. 🤮#be honest- the reason you're upset is bc you cant use what was on that blog against me#even though what was on that blog PALES in comparison to the kind of shit you've done and posted.#ok ignoring you now and focusing on me again- there was so much art on that blog thats just lost forever and it makes me sad.#even any problematic things. I woulda wanted to keep it if only to keep an archive of my growth as an artist#plus there was a gif of hoody dancing to the thrill by wiz khalifa (i think that was the song I made the gif to) that i'll never get back 😔#i honestly have an issue with deleting my art in general- stuff that isnt problematic so dont start w me bitch- but- for some reason#I just used to get these urges to delete shit like out of shame. I think its bc of being trans and trying to stuff that down and feeling#ashamed that I even wanted to be the guy I wanted to be so I would just get rid of it all and .-.#theres a lil chunk of my comic art that's just gone forever and i wish ik everything I drew. at least I remember one of the ocs i deleted
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bluinary · 19 days
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Waking up crying because after 2 years of grinding and understudying I was called back to play a real lead for a renowned director (me out of 3 girls total) and I lost the role to a girl who just auditioned here for the first time. The worst part is that I am also her understudy for the show before that!
#and it feels like no one actually gives a fuck. im being constantly invalidated#“thats showbiz” bitch this is a community theatre that prides itself on fairness#im not saying I shouldve just gotten the role bc ive been there. either role.#i am saying though that playing a fucking lead has historically been treated like a privilege.#because it can lead to huge opportunities once ppl see you that way#and tbf I nailed the callback. even the girl cast (whos also my new friend) said honestly she was sure it was me.#before i was even called back i had fellow actors saying id be perfect for it#i know why he cast the other girl. there are multiple reasons.#but honestly her reasons and mine weigh much the same. and she just got there.#im emphasizing SHE JUST GOT THERE#she even told me she just wanted to be involved#this is the 2nd time this has happened to me and im really fucking sick of it.#and now that ive regained some weight.....who tf else will cast me#i dont want to have to go all ED again i dont have the money or energy#also I cant dance very well. at least not in callbacks. i always forget what move comes next and i bomb it.#anyway. now im waking up crying. and its coming from a selfish place so no one is here to give a fuck.#this is the worst position to be in lmfao. if i have feelings about something im the villain and a diva.#i have to be “humble” but oh!! dont be down on yourself either!! have pride!!#this month has sucked so bad.#blu babbles#also. shes really good! but shes absolutely not THAT good lmfao. her presence is awesome and she dances well#and her voice is really nice! shes a triple threat but like. all areas are just *at* the bar yknow?#for me ive been told my acting is also at the bar my dancing is just below the bar and my voice is way above the bar.#shes been asking me for tips on singing and no one also seems to see how that feels like twisting the knife.#ik its not intentional. shes just naive. but it still hurts. it hurts really really bad.#im like @ god if you want me to have faith and confidence in myself why are you making me into a loser#first i lose my ex. then my car gets fucked up. also its been cloudy for 2+ weeks so depression. then i gain weight.#now i lose BOTH roles i was called back for.#i dont even want to go to rehearsal today. what the hell do they need me for.
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