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marilynthornhilllover · 4 months

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The New years kiss

Addison montgomery x sub!fem!reader

Warning: smut: fingering, cunniligus, praise kink, mommy, kink, engagement, stress, long distance relationship, guilt, fluff.

A/n: aw thank you so much anon! Happy new year, hope you enjoyed!<3

You and addison have been together for two whole years - well today marks that milestone. You met addison at the hospital when you went to pay your close friend a visit when she had gotten into a very bad motorbike accident, it wasn't serious thank God and addison patched her up really nice - your friend only walked out of the hospital with a couple bruises on her knee. After that you two kept seeing eachother and things escalated.

When addison asked you to be her girlfriend she did mention that she won't be home much, she'd have to move between Seattle and New York quite often, she was barely at home or barely even called and when she was at home she'd be too tired to even move a muscle, you would cook for her, do her laundry and in two days time again she had to leave. Everytime she walked out of that door it broke your heart more. You understood that it was her job but sometimes you felt alone with your problems and thoughts.

You would feel as if the weight of the whole world was crashing down on your shoulders and you had the bare the pain or pay the price. You wanted to have a talk with addison, maybe the two of you could take a break - a short break. She's been back and forth for the past five months that you can't even remember the last time the both of you even kissed or had sex. Not that it mattered but you just missed your girl. You missed her hugs, her kisses, the way she'd comfort you when you having a bad day.

You desperately needed her love and attention. And with her job as a surgeon being complicated and hectic you can't even remember how her embrace feels. Most mornings you would wake up with cold sheets and a note, or in the middle of the night she'd rush out of bed on the phone after being called for an emergency.

Addison knew the damage that her job was doing to you and she knew you wanted to talk about it, that's why she did extra shifts today so that she could be at home for new years and two long weeks after. She couldn't even remember the last time the both of you even watched a movie.

Her breath hitched as she pulled up her hand brakes to her car and put it in park. She sighed a breath of relief, exhaustion and guilt. With one more sigh she grabbed her bag from the passenger seat and got out. She stood infront of the door and looked at the house, it was a long time since she saw it or hell a long time she since she stood on the porch. She could hear you singing inside as the vacuum roared.

She chuckled as she used the spare key to open the door entering slowly and unnoticeable as possible just as a thief would, after all she didn't really wanna scare you. She threw her keys into the key bowl , slipping out of her heels as she used the wall for support and balance. She saw you emerged from the dinning room area and her heart sank as you froze in place. Both your gaze locked on eachother as addison stood up straight.

It was like the world has stopped rotating and time has become frozen. You didn't know what to say or what to do. You've thought of this moment for the past six weeks, you'd run into her arms and hug her, kiss her cheek, make her favorite cupcakes - but now all emotions and odds left you because you just stood there lifeless. A part of you wanted nothing more than to hug the life out of her and lock the door so that she wouldn't go back but, you knew deep down that would never happen. Maybe she do love ger job more that her relationship with you.

But then again.... there was that other part of you fighting against your thoughts and motives. " she's gonna leave again don't get attached" you gulped as you snapped out of you toxic trance. Addison was looking at you with so much emotion, you looked deep past her bold green eyes and you could read her like a book. She felt guilty.... it was clearly eating away at her chest. And the longer you stood there not moving it broke her heart more. She could feel it shatter into pieces.

You were positive that atleast ten minutes had passed.

You sighed as tears filled your vision as you walked out to her and hugged her, she was quick to hug back. She didn't care if you were sweaty, she wanted you to know that she cared.

" Your home....." You mumbled into her, as you sniffed. She gently grabbed your face forcing you to look up at her. You could see tears falling down her cheek as more piled up in her beautiful eyes.

" I'm sorry, my love. I promise I'll make up for the lost time, don't break up with me" she whispered placing her forehead against yours. You chuckled as you looked up at her, wiping away her stray tears as her soft skin was felt under your finger tips.

" I could never break up with you Addy" you whispered as both your lips connected in a hasty kiss. It was so slow and sloppy. One of her hands moved down to hold your hip so that she could press you flush against her body as the other rested against the skin of your cheek. You tilted your head as you deepened the kiss, granting her tongue entrance to your mouth. From there both your instincts went wild as as you both kissed like wild animals without food.

Her tongue moved in your mouth like it was it's home as you did the same with her. You pulled away for air as she chased your lips again, to which you pulled away.

" Addy calm down" you chuckled and she giggled as she kissed your jaw before moving to your neck. She sucked on the flesh before swipe her tongue over it then gently nibbling on it with her teeth before repeating thoses actions, you couldn't help the needy moan that escaped your throat. You could feel addison smirk against the flesh as she pulled away and left a small peck on your nose.

" I hope you didn't leave a mark because I have to attend a new year's party tonight and I'm the host for the count down process" you scolded causing her to gasp.

" speaking of party I got you something" she spoke picking up her bag and taking it to the kitchen counter. Your eyebrows quirked up at her sentence as you followed behind her, rather excited. To know that she thinks about you at work was so heart warming and that she brought something for you, that made you feel the butterflies all over again. She opened her bag and began digging. You tip toed and kissed her cheek before rounding the counter to finish drying the dishes.

" what is it?" You asked putting a wine glass carefully into it's holder. She chuckled deeply as she continued to dig for the present.

" just something special for my special girl" she muttered before coming up close behind of you, wrapping her arms around your waist she began to attack your neck again, the same spot. You squirmed as you pushed her off you, turning around to she a blue Tiffany box in her hands. You gasped as you snatched it from her grasp.

" you did not!" You shouted as she nodded kissing your cheek before placing both her hands on the counter leaning against it as she trapped you in. You licked your lips, removing the white paper and taking out the small black box that was beautifully tied with a white ribbon that had your name in gold on it. You smiled in awe as you carefully took it off and tied it around your wrist. You were absolutely in love with ribbons lately and you've been nagging to addison about them and this one was so cute. You mumbled a soft ' thank you' to her before lifting the lid of the box.

You gasped as tears filled your eyes once more as you did a little jump with your feet that addison absolutely adored, she found it so cute of you to do.

Inside the box was bracelet and chain combo, the necklace was Gold with your initial and her initial on it with a heart in the midde. The bracelet was the same but the heart was thin and hollow with a diamond rim. You turned around and jumped up onto her, attacking her with kisses.

" thank you!!" You spoke in a low tone as tears clouded your vision again. She smiled as she placed you onto the counter as you kept your legs wrapped around her waist.

" this way you can have something to remind you of our love when I'm gone baby" she spoke as she kissed your shoulder.

" now come on, we have a party to get ready for" you giggled as she dragged you up stairs. You both showered and got ready. Addison wore a navy blue blouse with her lucky charm necklace you had gotten her with your name on it with the same color pants and black heels. Her hair was in a messy ponytail but it was decent enough. You on the other hand wore a black lace corset top with traps and a thin white skirt that had a small slit that fell just right above your knee, showing off some skin.

Of course you wore your jewelry that addison had gotten you earlier today and a pair on platform uggs with the ribbons she got you on the back to them. You did your hair in the same style as her as you finished off your look with Gold hoop earrings.

You walked down stairs to see her leaning against the wall with her hands in her pockets. Her gaze flicked up towards you as the lines on her foreheads disappeared as she gaved you her undivided attention.

" and here I was thinking I looked the best" she joked as she took your hand in hers twirling you around whistling. You rolled your eyes at her opening while grabbing some jackets the door as the both of you left the house. You got in the door while she locked the door. She got in and the both of you drived off.

The party was going great as you danced with couple friends on the dance floor. You could see addison getting drinks with some of her friends from work like Derrick, Meredith and miranda. You flashed her a warm smile which she returned while raising her glass of wine at you before giving you a teasing wink then returning her attention to Derricks conversation. You looked at your watch to check the time and it was.

11 : 45 pm

You quickly made your way on stage and used a fork against your glass to get everyone's attention.

" guys it's almost time for the count down of new years!!! Oh my lord, look I know some of you are only here for the cake and drinks" you said and everyone chuckled. Addison couldn't help her growing smile as she looked at you on stage.

" most of you don't even have a speech prepared but that's ok cause your all boring anyway" you laughed and everyone laughed and cheered.

" but no seriously, I'm just gonna speak from heart because I don't have much time but to my special, incredible, talented, beautiful, loving girl addison, baby I love you so much and I can't wait to go into this new year with you!" Before you finish your sentence everyone was clapping and cheering as their attention was mainly focused on the love the both of you shared, especially with your eyes.

" ok everyone needs to shut up, addison your the love of my life and I love you and i can't wait to send the rest of my boring life with you and! And I will move to Seattle with you to be closer" you spoke out of breath. Everyone clapped as addison made her way closer to you on stage. She hugged you tightly, sparing you a quick kiss before she took the mic.

" thank you everyone for coming! I also wanna say something, it's currently 11 : 52, so I'll also make it quick" she cleared her throat as she positioned the mic infront of her mouth properly.

" y/n y/l/n your the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I also want to spend the rest of my life with you. You've always made my day brighter, my heart lighter and my stress disappear. Your the best thing that has ever happened to me. When I look into your eyes I see pure peace and admiration. I will never find another special soul like you, you stay up late for me, you cook for me and most of all you have loved me better than anyone, better than my own self. You loved my flaws, my imperfections and my mistakes. I love you.... will you marry me?" Your world immediately went quiet.

You could hear everyone claping and cheering. Infront of you was addison slowly getting on her knees as she pulled out a beautiful diamond ring. Your jaw dropped as everyone and everything became background noises. They didn't exist. All that mattered was you and her, the woman proposing. You could hear everyone counting down to ten and when they got to one you shouted yes as addison picked your up and spinned you around.

She slipped the ring onto your finger as her lips found yours. You were beyond happy, you were dying of happiness. You have to be one the most happiest women on planet earth. You both pulled away as people began to gather around to congratulate you and to see the ring.

The rest of the night went by in a flash. You and addison were on your way home and you honestly couldn't be more excited to share this extraordinary and phenomenal night with her. Your fiance. Your soon to be wife.

Addison quickly opened the front door as you both entered quickly as if you were being chased. She barely had time to insure that it was locked before you were already hungrily kissing her. She kissed back with just as much passion as she grabbed your ass which caused you to chuckle. You jumped up onto her and wrapped your legs around her waist as she took you upstairs. She kicked the door to your bedroom open, before gently throwing you onto the bed before straddling you.

You both continued your passionate kiss, both were breathing and growling heavily as you fought to take off eachothers clothes. Once you and her were stripped of all clothing including undergarments you took a breather. You giggled as she pulled away with puffy red saliva coated lips.

" Your laughing?! You won't be laughing soon bet that" she spoke in a deep raspy voice as she kissed you again, this time it was filled with need. It was so sloppy, you could the way your tongues moved against eachother ad your teeth gnash against eachother. You moaned into her mouth as you felt yourself become more needy, you could feel your thighs becoming sticky as they clamp together, the pool between your legs only grew more.

You arched into her touch as her cold fingertips dragged across your delicate skin leaving goosebumps in their wake. Addison pulled away from your lips as she made her way down to your neck, nipping at that same spot.

" guess I can mark you now baby" she whispered as she gently kissed your skin making her way dow to your chest. She gently took your nipple into her mouth making you gasp as you pushed your chest up into her mouth. She swirled her tongue around the soft bud until it became hard against it. She devoured your sensitive bud, flicking her tongue against the tip before sucking down harshly on it. You whined as you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter.

" please mommy" she smirked as she made her way over towards the other nipple, giving it just as much attention as the other one.

" fuck, addy please" you moaned as she twisted your nipple between her fingertips before taking it back into her mouth and continuing her actions. She snaked her way down towards your lower region, slowly parting your thighs as the smell of your arousal hits her. She bites her lips as she looks up at you with hooded eyes. She caresses your inner thighs as she looks at your already dripping cunt.

" everyday I live I'll thank God for this perfect pussy darling" her tone of voice was driving you insane, it was so deep and hoarse, it sent shivers down your spine and throbs in your cunt. She smirked as she saw that you were already clenching around nothing. She licked her lips before beginning to pamper little butterfly open mouthed kisses on the flesh of your inner thighs.

You arched your back as you grabbed the back of her head and pushed her mouth towards your cunt, which she complied too. She slowly and teasing licked up your slit, your juices coating her lips like lip gloss. She licked her lips again before looking up at you and winking. She then latched on her mouth to your clit, driving her tongue between your folds as she teased and poked at your entrance making your eyes roll back.

" addy p-please I need it" she loved hearing you whine for her . your hips started to move up and down, riding her face chasing your own high , she knew exactly what to do that would make you go absolutely feral. Addison teases your hole with her tongue, dipping it in ever so slightly before pulling it out smirking when she hears you whimper in frustration. She removes her mouth which causes you to whine before proceeding to spit on your pussy, she then continues to kitty lick your clit.

You grip the sheets as she holds your thighs open picking up her pace as she finally again, begins sucking brutally at your clit. You squirm against her hole as you become even more desperate for her. She pulls away and comes up to your face.

" open your mouth" she spoke in a graspy voice, demanding but still leaving space for your choice. You obey her demand and open your mouth, she slowly lets her saliva along with your juices to fall into your mouth. She cleans up the small bit that drizzled onto your chin with her thumb.

" now be a good wife and swallow" she whispered before kissing you sloppily as some of the liquid spills into her mouth causing her to groan. You wrap your arms around her neck and pulled her in deepening the kiss. She could tell you were desperate.

" please addy please" you muttered kissing her all over her face. She chuckles as that sinister smirk makes an appearance as she raises her eyebrows as if she has no clue what you could be referring to.

" please fuck me babe, I want it so bad please addison. Please mommy" you spoke before moaning in a rather needy way before connecting your lips with hers again. Who was she to deny her wife of such pleasure and request. She hadn't even touched you yet and you were already trembling with need.

You felt her two of her long slender fingers find their way in between your folds spreading you open as they dive down to your entrance and back up towards your clit before gently pressing and rubbing against the sore bud before moving back down to your dripping and greedy hole. You whined as you broke the kiss and threw your head back. Addison finally gave in and slowly inserted her fingers into your cunt as she curled them finding a slow but meaningful pace inside of you.

Your eyes rolled back as, your legs threatened to close around her hand. Addison moaned into your ear as her hot breath tickled your neck. She groaned as she felt your warm spongy walls envelop around her fingers, squeezing them and pulling them deeper into your cunt. She looked at you as your chest heavied and your toes curled. She started thrusting her fingers in and out of you doing the barrel movements with her curled fingers, going knuckle length inside of you.

You could have swore you saw heaven as you closed your eyes.

" such a good fucking girl for mommy. Are you gonna be a good little slut and cum on her fingers and make a mess?" You could feel the coil in your lower abdomen getting tight as addison picked up her pace. You were seeing stars. Her fingers felt so good bruied deep in your pussy. Your walls contrast around her as her fingertips pounded into the sweet spot that had you screaming.

" fuck addison I'm g- I'm gonna- fuckkk" you couldn't even finish your sentence before your oragsm hot you harder than a train. Addison smiled as she felt your liquid pour out around her fingers as your walls clenched down around her. You let of a breathy moan as you gently rolled your hips down onto her fingers, riding out the last bit of sensation.

Addison kissed your forehead as she allowed you to ride out your high as long as you needed too before retracting her fingers. She hastily kissed your forehead and pulled you into her, she held you against her warm body as she drew soothing circles on your back as your legs still shook uncontrollably. She cooed you and she gently removed the stray hairs from infront of your face and tucked them behind your ear.

You sighed in satisfaction as you snuggled into her embrace. You entangled your feet with hers as you looked up into her eyes. She looked at you with pure love. She brought your hand with the ring up to her lips and kissed it.

" I love you" she whispered before nestling into your neck.

" I love you more addy" you whispered before you both fell asleep into pure ecstasy.

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altschmerzes · 2 years

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Hey! im ace and aro and was wondering if you could talk about what being engaged and getting married means and looks like to you as an aro person? I feel like so few people talk about it that i have no real frame of reference. it’s really cool that you’re happy and living authentically doing all these things and i guess yeah i just wanted to hear more about that if you felt like sharing! have a great day <3

yeah!!! i'm happy to talk abt that!! it's definitely nothing i've seen any kind of like..... broader awareness of, or people talking about, and i probably would've been like. more optimistic about my future if it had been something i'd seen, i think. this got a little long so i'm throwing it under a cut but here it is!! a bit of an explanation of like. How My Engagement/Marriage Works And How That Came To Be. (signed off on by my fiance, for the record - i didn't want to write out an answer to this without checking with them, but they're totally fine with it!)

i think it's probably wildly confusing to some people to see me post and talk abt being aro A Lot (it's one of the most prominent aspects of my online personality i think sdlfjs) including being like. incredibly romance repulsed, and then mention being engaged or having a fiance or referencing 'my wife' (though we're not married yet it is one of my Favourite jokes to make because 1. i think it's very funny, and 2. i just like saying it). people contain multitudes etc etc but i do wonder if people are confused by that sldfjs. my engagement is like... honestly everything i'd ever have hoped for if i'd asked myself at any point in the years since i started identifying as aromantic what my ideal life would include.

i've always had a hard time being alone and i wanted the intimacy and mutual support and just. ability to Do Life with someone that a relationship involved, while also being, as i've said, intensely romance repulsed and not really open to sex either. really just sort of figured that wasn't going to happen for me. the odds of not only meeting an aroace person (the only sort of person i thought might have an interest in the same sort of relationship i wanted and was comfortable with) irl never mind being compatible with them personally and in our priorities just seemed incredibly slim. which like... made me sad sometimes. i'd always sort of daydreamed about getting married which is wild for someone who is as romance repulsed as i am, which i know i keep saying but it really is an incredibly intense feeling for me (i tried dating once in high school and had several panic attacks before breaking it off after our third extremely mild fourteen/fifteen year old date, and often feel physically ill trying to read about fictional romance/watch it on tv). but y'know. sometimes we just don't get what we want in life, and i was fine with the idea of having my friends and my synagogue community and like. hoping my friends wouldn't all leave me behind alone as they all got into relationships.

what ended up happening is obviously not that. i'm really truly unbelievably thrilled every day to wake up and remember what i've got to look forward to every day. my engagement is entirely platonic, and it's exactly what both of us want and are just. beyond happy with and excited for. my fiance is a lesbian, actually, and has been incredibly good and patient with reassuring me that the relationship we have, exactly as it is, is what they want too, that they don't feel like i'm depriving them of anything. we love each other very much, and we're building the life together that we want, in exactly the way that we want.

and that's how it happened, really. we talked about what we wanted. i got engaged at the end of what i've referred to as a 'several hour long conversation' which is the truth sdlkfs. a close friend and i both had sort of 'evaluating the next couple years of our lives and how we wanted pivotal parts of our futures to go' moments about the same time, and it came up i think mostly as a half-serious suggestion that we could get married. for logistical reasons, it made sense for us. and then we started talking about what that might look like - what we wanted, from our lives and our futures, and our hypothetical marriage. and the more we talked about it, the more serious it got, the more real it got, and the more we both i think realized we wanted the same thing. the same life, the same way, together.

we talked about a whole lot in that first couple of days. one of the very first things we talked about actually was kids - did we want them? what was important to us about having and raising children (names, religion, etc)? then it was stuff like did we have strong feelings about where we lived. did we want our own rooms in our home, did we want to wear rings (i love my engagement ring. it makes me smile every time i notice it on my hand), what did we want to tell our friends. we had conversations about whether and how we wanted a wedding. what sort of physical intimacy we were comfortable with, what sort we might want (really glad we did that, and that we were honest and open about that - nothing better, it turns out, than Cuddling Your Wife). what sort of affection we were comfortable with around other people.

our relationship, our life, is what we want it to be. exactly what we want it to be. what makes us happy. we've built it from a vast and beautiful array of choices and options, adding the things we want and leaving the things we don't. it's an approach i would highly recommend to everyone, honestly - talking about what you want out of your relationship, what you want to do and how you want to be with someone rather than just picking which of a short list of proscribed 'types of relationship' you want to have. it leaves a lot more room for nuance and what will actually make you happy than much less contextually nuanced things like assuming your definition of 'dating' will match the other person's, or that the kind of relationship you want just isn't possible. setting up that kind of foundation in communication and honesty and being clear about our expectations and needs has fostered a relationship where i feel respected and valued and heard - and i'm reasonably certain (and i hope!) that they feel the same.

we travelled to my birthplace so they could be introduced to my family and my childhood best friend. it's always both surprising and amusing to me every time someone assumes i'm gay (gender is complicated but we both tend to read as women) - this happened a lot there, and as i've told my extended family and other more casual friends about my engagement. this doesn't bother me at all (i'm not out to almost anyone irl as aromantic, and it's a reasonable conclusion to reach given what information they have) but it's extremely funny when i also get to find out which of my family members/people i knew in middle school always sort of wondered if i was gay but never asked sldkjs. turns out the answer is 'a lot'.

re: assumptions, for the most part, we don't bother explaining the nature of our relationship to people. this is also something we talked about! we discussed how much we wanted to clarify or contextualize, and decided that ultimately like... with the exception of people we're very close to, and in contexts like this (fairly anonymous post on ye olde internet with the ability to immediately block anyone who clowns on it), it's really nobody's business unless we decide it is and we're cool with just letting people assume whatever. that does lead to some like... i can't speak for them but it gets a little weird for me sometimes, i'm not gonna lie. it feels a little like getting misgendered, having people assume that i'm in a romantic relationship. i say that as a nonbinary person who's mostly just. chill about not being out about that irl. that's the best descriptor i have to help people understand what might be a hard thing to understand. but it doesn't bug me enough to want to put myself - or my fiance - through what correcting that assumption would involve. i mostly don't blame anyone for it - it's extremely reasonable to assume someone who is engaged is in a romantic relationship with the person they're engaged to - except for when friends who know i'm aromantic and somehow think this means that's... changed, somehow? or jump to assuming i'm in a romantic relationship before considering i might not be in one and still be engaged anyway. so it's kind of weird, and feels a little bad, but not enough to really do anything about it except hope the world changes a bit and stops making assumptions about other people's relationships at some point.

that's really the only downside, hand to gd. that and worrying that there might be consequences, legally, if the wrong person finds out we're married but Not Like That. everything else is honestly amazing. it's the best thing that's ever happened to me and i'm so unbelievably happy. i never thought i'd ever get to be this happy, or have a future this bright and warm and full of love to look forward to. having spent a lot of my life for various reasons thinking i just wouldn't have a future at all, it's like every day is a really incredible dream, except i'm never going to have to wake up.

the moral of the story i guess, if you've made it this far in this novel of an answer, anon, which i wouldn't bet on, because it's so much longer than i planned on it being (SORRY SDLKFJS i guess this is more than just a 'writing fic' problem for me now XD), is that your relationships are what you make them. assuming that what you want isn't possible, or that nobody could possibly want the same thing, is a great way to cheat yourself out of something wonderful. nobody has to have any kind of relationship, obviously, if they don't want one, but i think there are a lot of people - aromantic and not! though i do think this probably impacts aro people. more. - who could benefit from the idea that there are more options out there than just like... 1. romantic relationship constructed in a specific way and following a specific path, and 2. being alone.

#gav gab #aromantic #aro blogging #gav answers #a MUCH LONGER post about my engagement/marriage and life and whatnot than i thought i'd be writing but #here we are.#the truth is i'm just already the world's biggest wife guy and i want to talk about it all day long sldkfjs #'how are you a romance repulsed aromantic engaged' very happily as it turns out!#they also just went home after a visit yesterday (were long distance rn while we’re finishing school) and im a big baby about it #turns out sleeping alone after NOT doing that is. hard and weird.

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