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tteokdoroki · 2 months

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⋆ 𝜗𝜚 ˚⟡. — SATORU GOJO. the damage is done.

about. when satoru decides that he wants you (his ex) back, his foolproof plan starts off by making your new partner extremely insecure..

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact ! nsfw, smut, non canon, toxic relationships, love bombing, exes to lovers, gaslighting, infidelity, cheating, breeding, fingering, multiple orgasms, couch sex, oral sex ( f! receiving ), unprotected sex, ex boyfriend!gojo, fem!reader.

ex!gojo who slides into the dms of your current partner to slowly make them insecure.

he acts like a nice guy, offers advice on what to do when you’re mad, what you like to eat, how to keep you all sedated and happy. your current partner starts to gush about how cool of a dude satoru gojo is. how could you pass up on such an amazing guy? he’s rich, funny, caring — they can see how you fell for him.

but what they don’t understand is the greedy side of satoru — the one who one who wanted you all to himself. the guy who never let you go out, who made you cry but made you cum with the promise of never hurting your feelings again.

sometimes the advice gets a little too specific. how does satoru know where you keep your sex toys for kinky nights of fun. why does he know the spot that makes you arch your back off of the sweaty sheets just like that? or how many fingers you like to take? or how long it takes before you start gagging on cock.

it makes your new partner insecure, gives them performance anxiety and ruins the vibes of your bedroom. they can’t communicate with you, at least not properly — it leads to fights that are all too familiar. conversations you’ve had with satoru before. your little insecurities and biggest fears are thrown into your face, things they know will hurt you deep down you. these are some of the first times you cry because of your new partner.

it’s all too familiar, these are things you’ve gone through before with your ex — the recognisable twinge in your chest and feeling of guilt after being gaslight is something you know all too well.

“he was right, you really are just a cry baby.” they say. “since he knows so much about you, maybe you should go back to fucking him.” which feels like a bullet to your heart because you’ve spent so much time proving to your partner that you’re over your ex and all the bullshit that satoru put you through. all the drama and all the trauma he left you with.

your partner leaves for the night, leaving you alone with your tears and the tiny voice in the back of your mind that tells you it’s all satoru’s fault. it goads you into calling him, his number which you blocked but kept written down in your notes app in case of emergency. it’s been forever since you last spoke to your ex and told him you wanted nothing to do with him — so you’re surprised when he picks up on the second ring, seemingly happy to hear your voice.

“what did you do, satoru?” his name on your tongue is foreign yet also familiar. you’ve said it a million times before, in many different ways (lust, love and loss) but this time you’re angry. like the last time you spoke.

“what do you mean?”

he plays coy and you feel your temper bubble. “we got into a fight, i know it’s your fault. what did you say to them?”

“shouldn’t you be making up with them?” gojo answers your question with a question, his all-knowing smirk transcending down the static on the line. “why was your first thought to call me?”

that makes you falter, stops your typhoon of rage in its place.

the truth is, you know why you called. deep down you know that gojo could fix this, when you fought as a couple you would always call him first and in tears — letting him calm you down. gaslighting you in the process. he always knew what to say to scab over the wounds of your arguments, patching over deep cuts with little white lies even if he would reopen them and leave mental scars in place.

when you fight with your partner now, you seek the same sort of unhealthy comfort in the only person who you know will give it you and that’s exactly what satoru wants.

“let me come over,” he states, suave. “let me help you fix this.” he takes advantage of your emotional torment, butters you up with the promise of comforting you and against your better judgement — you let him. your partner abandoned you, satoru wants to help you. you’ve always known that he still loved you, at least he wouldn’t leave, at least he’s not like your partner.

regret will come in the morning, you think, when you let satoru into your apartment and back into your life. he knows that everything on the walls are different, the picture frames are now brown instead of white and hold photos of your current life in place of what you had with your ex. the furniture has moved and the diffuser at the entryway smells different. but as much as you’ve tried, you can’t get rid of your ex, satoru gojo. he will always make his way back to you.

he makes sure that you’re aware of this when he kisses you on the couch that you kept from your previous relationship. satoru tells you that you’ll always need him when he pins your hips to its leather with a strong arm and buries his white head of hair between your warm, thick thighs. he proves it to you with the way that his tongue licks broad strokes against the entire length of your sex and flicks at your clit because he knows that how you like you it, he knows you’ll cum in seconds if he eats you out like that.

there’s going to be a stain in the couch from just how much more you gush on satoru’s skilled fingers and tongue, as he moans against your sopping mound and tells you how he’s the only one who could ever make you see stars this way. his face gleams with your arousal and his eyes sparkle knowingly because it’s true. you’ve never felt as good as you have with satoru in comparison to anyone else. it puts doubt in your mind, makes you question why you even left him in the first place.

though, you don’t have much time to dwell on the thought…because in hurried yet precise movements — gojo is making you cum on his fingers again. the rough pad of his thumb possessively writes the letters of his name against your pulsating clit — hardened by blood that rushes to it, carrying lustful hormones from your frenzied mind. he loves how you taste when you cum, how you cling to him, how he knows that you’ll never forget this phenomenalfeeling after tonight.

it’s a little too intimate for two exes when satoru makes you ride him. his legs spread wide while you straddle his lap, creating the perfect angle for his cock to nudge against that one special pleasure spot inside of you. you’ve missed his cock, it’s perfect length and thickness — it’s pretty pink tip that oozes so much precum that’s all for you. it’s only ever been for you.

the way satoru’s large palms cup the globes of your ass and guide you back and forth over his lap unlocks a nostalgic and loving feeling in your rapidly rising and falling chest. he kisses you with so much passion that you’re reminded of the good nights you spent with him — making love until sunrise while his tongue rolls over yours and licks at your teeth. you’re naked and chest to chest, noses becoming neighbours while the course of your breathing syncs up. it’s overwhelming, how adored you feel in the moment, all while fucking your ex on the couch.

you grope at each other like it’ll be the final time you ever have sex like this. your hands settle at the base of satoru’s neck and his on your waist while you languidly move together in a salacious dance routine you’ve done so many times before. you’re perfect partners, it’s evident in the way you reward his throbbing cock with dribbles of your creamy arousal — droplets of soft white running down and catching on veins on his shaft.

“i’m always going to love you, baby,” satoru’s soft laments echo through the home you’ve made with your over lover — barely audible over his balls slapping against your peachy ass and your cunt selfishly squeezing down on him, squelching with every thrust. “i’m always gonna want you like this, even when we fuck up. e-even when we’re not together,” he growls and rambles, blissful blue eyes darting all over your face twisted with ecstasy and right down to where you paint him with arousal and suck him in so well. “fuuuck, i wanna cum…s-say you want it, say you want me.”

it’s overwhelming, how much love you have for satoru. for your ex. it washes over your feelings of guilt in regard to your infidelity, any bad emotion or thought of your partner cannot compare to the burning and bright lust that flickers in your tummy. when you fuck yourself down on gojo’s throbbing girth he pulls back out of your snug, salacious sex — creating a delicious cycle of friction that you never want to forget. that you miss so bad.

“i want…i want you!” you stutter, tears brewing in your starry eyes. “i miss you, i love you,” the words rush out of you before your hazy mind can even catch up and register them. you barely manage to register that you’re fucking your ex just mere hours after arguing with your special one. it doesn’t matter, not right now and not in this moment. not when satoru teases your clit until you’re able to cum all over him, painting his thighs with your slick as you slump against him.

even though he shouldn’t, even though he’s ruined your relationship, gojo cums inside your quivering cunt. fills you to the brim with his viscous, scorching seed and there’s so much of it that it seeps from your entrance — pooling okto the couch below.

“i love you.”

“i know.”

“come back to me, baby.”

“i…i don’t know if i can…”

you want to so badly, especially the damage is done, sealed by stolen kisses that’ll mean nothing in the morning.

satoru’s gotten what he wanted, to make you question your relationship and remind you of why you should come back to him. you fell asleep an intertwined mess on the couch and he leaves in the early hours of the next day.

all so that your current partner will never know the events that occurred on the night of your fight — you don’t have to heart to tell them when they come back the next morning with your favourite flowers and an apology. they shouldn’t have left you. they shouldn’t have gone to satoru behind your back. they love you.

but it’s already too late, a seed of doubt has been planted in your mind by your ex. you release that you still want him, that you might even miss him and the foundation of your new relationship becomes shaky and unstable.

you’ve grown insecure and you will always be comparing your current partner to your last partner. to gojo.

and your lover? now they’re insecure too, because you’re always so distant and you always smell a little different when you come home these days.

because you’ve started going behind their back to be with your ex, satoru, too.

#tteokdoroki #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk smut #gojo x you #satoru gojo smut #satoru gojo x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru gojo x you #jjk x you #gojo satoru x you #jjk thirsts #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x you #✧ ₊˚੭ — writing

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milf-murdock · 13 days

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Safety First

(AKA: The one where Simon views “the law” as a relative term when it comes to your safety)

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Civilian!Reader

Summary: After a scare involving a break-in at your flat, Simon decides to take extreme measures to ensure your safety—including getting you an illegal firearm and teaching you how to use it. What he doesn’t expect is just how turned on he is by watching you shoot it. Warnings: potential break-in scenario described, protective Simon to the rescue, use of a firearm, descriptive use of firearm, smut (I promise there is a plot here though it just….devolved into smut because I have no self control), P in V, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex, sliiiiiiight breeding kink, praise kink (really exposed myself with the number of “good girls” here👀), no mask Simon because civilian life, mate 😌 A/N: I had a lot of fun with this. It just seems so very “Simon” to me. He would have exactly 1 (one) incident where he gets scared shitless that something has happened to you, and he would pull every last goddamn string necessary to get your trained up on a handgun to make sure you can defend yourself always, even when he’s not there. Personal firearms are very much illegal in the UK but you can’t tell me the 141 boys aren’t packing at home. Simon Riley?? Leaving weapons behind?? Be so fucking for real.

Your grip on the shopping falters, nearly dropping the heavy container of milk. Your body freezes as you take in the sight before you, immediately on high alert. The front door stands ajar.

Someone’s broke in, your anxieties speak for themself. Images flash in your mind at a rapid pace, escalating in concern: men ransacking through your things, hiding out, waiting for you, strong foreign hands on your body—your shaking hands have your boyfriend’s number dialed before your imagination dares to unfold any further. You drop the shop bags on the floor, backing away from the door and down the hall of your complex.

“Hey—“ the deep familiar baritone is immediately cut off by your sobs.

“Si-Simon?” You choke out his name between your gasping breaths. You try to steel yourself, but the tears have already started.

“What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Simon’s voice instantly hardens, shifting to one of action.

The tears are relentless now, and you try to force them at bay to respond.

“Answer me, love, are you hurt?” Simon’s voice raises ever so slightly in pitch.

“N-not hurt,” you gasp out. “It’s my flat. The door’s open. I know I locked it—at least I think I locked it, I went to the shop, I needed more milk, remember? I was only out for a bit—“

“Breathe, babe. Breathe.” You can hear the jingle of keys in the background of the call. “Listen to me very carefully, love. You turn around right now and get back in your car. Lock the doors. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right there.”

You sniff, thankful the tears seem to have finally subsided. You’re already put slightly more at ease knowing Simon is on his way. “Okay,” your voice waivers. “I can do that.”

“‘Course you can. Now stay on the line with me until you get to your car.” You hear his car door slam in the background.

__________________

Simon turns the 20 minute drive to 7.

His sharp tap on your window startles you, sending your heart racing once again.

“Stay ‘ere, love. Be right back.” Simon’s voice is muffled through the window, but you nod in response.

Simon makes his way up the stairs to your flat, pulling his concealed weapon to his side and subtly shifting the safety off. The heavy weight of the cold metal is familiar as he cocks the weapon, preparing for a sweep. The motion is as natural as breathing for him. He gently toes open the door, immediately pulling his weapon at attention as he scans the room for threats. “Clear” Simon thinks to himself. Some habits are too deeply engrained.

He makes his way through your flat, thoroughly checking for anything amiss. Once he’s satisfied that everything looks clear, he disarms the weapon, clearing the loaded round from the chamber and clicking the safety back on. The gun gets tucked back safely against his body, concealed from sight as he makes his way back out to your car.

Simon gives you a brief nod, signaling all was clear. At that sign, you fling the car door open and throw yourself out of the car, instinctually trusting those strong arms to catch you.

The moment your face is buried in the broad expanse of his chest, his familiar scent hitting you like a freight train, the tears well up once more.

“S-sorry, I was just so freaked out,” you stutter, unsure if Simon could even understand you with your face pressed against him, but unwilling to untangle yourself even a bit.

“Shh, it’s alright swee’art,” Simon murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as his hand rubs soothing circles on your back. “I scoped out the whole place. It’s clean.”

He could feel the relief in your body as you took in his words.

“You sure you locked the place up, babe?” Simon treads lightly, not wanting to upset you further. “It didn’t look like anybody had been in. Could’ve just been a draft knocking the door open if it wasn’t shut and lcked properly.”

You pulled your head back from Simon’s chest, fumbling with the edge of your jumper to gently wipe the tears and snot from your face, sniffling.

“I’m sure I locked it.” You pause for a moment. Well, at least you think you’re sure. You think back to when you left your flat, hands juggling your keys, your purse, distracted by your neighbor and his adorably fluffy Pomeranian who were leaving at the same time. Mr. Darcy immediately demanded your attention, of course, and who were you to deny him all the fluff-filled pets his heart desired? Embarrassment curdles in your stomach, a heat creeping up into your cheeks.

“Well, maybe not absolutely sure…” you correct yourself. “I think I did, but Mr. Darcy was out, and I got distracted, and I just needed some milk for my tea, and I—“

Simon took you back in his arms, cutting off your monologue. “Ahh, Mr. Darcy, you said?” He knows your fondness for the small Pomeranian well, especially after the last time you dog sat for them and insisted Simon make friends with the blasted pup. “That would explain it.”

“I’m sorry if I overreacted,” you sigh, shame replacing the fear. “I shouldn’t have called you.”

“Oi-“ Simon is quick to cut you off. His strong hand grips your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “You did the exact right thing. Any time something feels off, got a bad feeling from some bloke at the pub, walking out by yourself in the dark, I don’t care what it is or when it is—you call me. Understood?”

“Understood.” You sniffle once more.

“Let’s get back inside and get you that cuppa,” Simon soothes, one hand pressed to the small of your back as he guides you back inside your flat. He stops to grab the forgotten shop bags off the floor with one hand.

__________________

You two are getting ready for bed, having convinced Simon to spend the night—not that it took much convincing. Simon watches as you parade around the bedroom in one of his oversized t-shirts, toothbrush in your mouth as you walked around getting ready for bed. It’s in these little moments he realizes how truly in deep he is. He’d give his left fucking arm to have this view daily.

“Thanks for coming to my rescue today,” you quip, exiting the bathroom and sliding into bed next to him. “And for agreeing to stay the night.”

“‘Course, love.” Simon opens his arm and lets you get into your designated spot, head on his chest, leg tangled over his, hand resting on his stomach. “Woulda probably stayed the night anyways.”

“Yeah, but still…” you let out a sigh as you settle in, curving your body against his. The warmth of his body heat warms your chilled frame.

“I was so scared.” Your voice is a whisper in the dark. “I just kept imagining the worst possible scenario. What if I was home? Alone? And someone did break in? What if you weren’t here? What if you were overseas?” Your breath hitches and your heart rate picks up again. Simon resumes rubbing soothing circles across your back.

“I just felt so helpless. So defenseless.”

“You’re okay.” His voice was low, steady. “Everything worked out okay. You’re safe. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Between the repetitive soothing motion of Simon’s strong hand against your back and the steady rhythm of Simon’s heartbeat, sleep soon found you despite your fears.

As your breaths evened out, Simon’s own mind starts swirling with dark thoughts. The what if’s find purchase in his brain and he subconsciously pulls your sleeping form even closer to him.

You were right, of course. He couldn’t always be here. He had to find some way to make sure you could take care of yourself, to make sure you could defend yourself. He had to know you were always taken care of, no matter where he was.

Of course he had already walked you through the basics of self defense. You had a decent right hook, and he more than appreciated the opportunity to teach you a few other moves that had the two of you sprawled on the floor of your sitting room, sofa pushed up against the wall to create enough space. If his memory served him correctly, that particular little sparring session had resulted in an entirely different from of…wrestling.

But none of it was enough to put his mind at ease. Simon knows that if someone truly meant to do you harm, someone from his line of work…all the moves in the world wouldn’t help you. He wouldn’t want you getting close enough for that kind of combat anyways.There was only one thing that could make him feel even a modicum of peace.

Simon was going to teach you to shoot.

______________

That weekend, Simon woke you up bright and early, claiming to have a surprise date for you.

“Oooh, what is it?” You’re nearly bouncing with excitement in the kitchen chair as Simon hands you your breakfast.

“If I told you, wouldn’t be much of a surprise, now would it?”

“Fair point,” you mumble around a mouth full of toast.

“Let’s just say it’ll make us both feel better.” Simon takes a sip from his mug.

__________________

You gazed out the window, the rising sun casting the military base in a warm glow. Simon had never brought you here before, had always hidden this part of his life away from you. You try to drink in as much detail as you can, driven by curiosity at this mysterious part of his life.

Simon pulls the car as close to the shooting range as he could. Despite the base being mostly deserted this weekend, he was still taking every precaution necessary to ensure he was limiting your exposure to this area of his life as much as he could.

With the car parked, Simon makes his way to your side of the car, his large, protective form shielding you from any prying eyes. He feels particularly exposed without his mask, but it’s a short walk to the range and he trusts that Price has held up his end of the bargain to keep this particular area abandoned this morning. His hand finds its way to the small of your back and guides you inside the range.

The smell of gunpowder immediately filled your nostrils. There was always a lingering scent on Simon when he came home, but nothing quite as affronting as this.

As promised, the range was completely cleared out, and Simon made a mental note to personally thank Price for his help.

“What’re we doing here, Si?” Your voice piqued with curiosity.

“Well, we’re teaching you how to shoot, o’ course.”

“But why? It’s not like I’d ever have access to anything like that. S’not legal.”

“About that.” Simon made his way to an area of the range that housed the standard weapons that were available for practice. He trusted that Price followed through on one other crucial part of this deal.

Sure enough, a small compact handgun was nestled amongst the other array of firearms.

Simon grabbed it, testing its weight in his hand before making his way back to you.

“Listen to me very carefully, love,” his tone shifted, dripping with sincerity, and a touch of his natural commanding energy.

You immediately sober up, looking at him with your full attention as if to show how good a listener you were.

“This is for emergencies only. It stays hidden always. No one knows you have this. No one knows this even exists. It’s very important you understand that.”

“But how did you—? Should I even—?”

“Mm-no questions. Just—“ Simon lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Just trust me. I need to make sure you’re safe. ‘Specially after that little scare earlier this week.”

You nod your head solemnly. “I understand, Si.”

“Good. Then let’s get after it.”

He guides you over to a stall and places your gun on the countertop as you assess your surroundings. There’s five lanes in this section of the range, each separated by stalls with an open range ahead. You can make out five faux targets at the end of the lane, but they seem impossibly far. Surely no-one can actually make that shot, you think to yourself. You’re pulled from your thoughts as Ghost steps up to you and places a pair of bulky earmuffs over your head. “These’ll help protect your ears while we practice,” he says as he adjusts them to fit snugly against your ears.

“Don’t you need some?” Your voice is raised to compensate for your dulled auditory senses.

Simon chuckles in response. “I’ll be alright. M’used to it.”

“Now go pick it up,” he gestures towards the gun. “Safety’s on so don’t worry. It won’t bite.”

Reality sinks in as you step forward and reach for the weapon. It’s lighter than you expected, but there’s a heftiness there that doesn’t have anything to do with the weight of the object itself. You test the feel of it in your hand, mimicking what you’ve seen in movies.

“Good,” Ghost murmurs, stepping up behind you. He’s close enough now that you can feel him pressing up against your back. Two strong arms encase your frame as he leans forward and places his hands over yours. His large hands manage to make the weapon, and your hands, look even smaller. “Hold it like this.” He adjusts your grip just slightly. “Atta girl.”

His thumb guides your own along the edge of the handle until you reach a firm button on the side. “Here’s the safety. You can tell it’s on when this red button is sticking out. See that, yeah?”

You nod your head but it’s taking every ounce of energy you have to focus on his words and not the feeling of Simon’s hard body pressed against your back, his hot breath sending a chill down your neck, and the look of his large hands dwarfing your own—

“Oi. Pay attention. This is important.”

You mentally scold yourself and refocus, adjusting your grip. “Okay, so the safety’s on?”

“Yes. Press it in to turn it off.” You do as he says, the click instantly elevating your senses. Did the gun get heavier?

“Now, pull back the top like this to,” he motions pulling back the barrel. “That’ll load the bullet into the chamber. It should already have a round in there, but we’ll get you some more ammo before we leave. Go ahead, cock it.”

You can’t help the snort that escapes you. “Cock it, eh?” You turn your head to waggle your eyebrows at him.

“Behave,” Simon warns, turning your chin to face forward.

It takes more power than you expected to pull the barrel back, but the reaffirming click lets you know that something did indeed happen inside.

“Alright, she’s loaded now.”

“Okay…” you hesitate, waiting for further instructions. “Now what?”

“Now you point and shoot.”

“At what?”

“See that fella at the end there? Aim for his head.” Simon gestures to the paper dummy hanging at the end of the alley.

“All the way down there? There’s no way anybody could hit that!” You protest.

Simon sighs, resigned, and flicks a small toggle on the countertop, triggering the electric pulley system that pulls the paper dummy closer to you, stopping it about halfway down the track.

“Better?”

“Only one way to find out,” you mutter, adjusting your position and taking aim.

With a centering inhale, you close one eye, aim as best you can, and pull the trigger.

The shot rings out louder than you thought possible, even with the ear protection. The force of the shot thrusts you backwards into Simon’s sturdy frame. Gun powder fills your nostrils even stronger than before. Your heart races as you look ahead to see…

You’ve miss the target completely.

“S’alright, love, wasn’t too terrible for your first shot,” Simon consoles.

“Here, move your foot,” he gently taps the inside of your foot with his toes, and you spread into a wider stance. “Good, now straighten up those shoulders. Don’t worry about cocking it yet, let’s get the position right.”

You do as he says, pulling the gun up once more to eye level.

“Give your elbows a bit more bend. You want to hold it tight, but be loose enough for the recoil so it won’t knock you on your arse.”

“How’s that?” You ask, loosening your shoulders and relaxing your arms just slightly.

“Looks good to me. Go ahead and cock ‘er.”

You pull the barrel once more and ready yourself to take another shot.

“Deep breathe,” Simon reminds you. “Now I want you to keep both eyes open, and look at where you’re directing your shot. You want to aim just slightly above your target. Gravity will pull the bullet down a bit from this distance.”

You try your best to keep all these factors in your mind as you take your aim.

A deep inhale and you brace yourself as you pull the trigger.

This time you have a better idea of what to expect, and you move your upper body with the recoil, feeling more stable.

“Did I do it? Did I hit it?” The excitement radiates in your voice as you eagerly lean over the table to get a better look.

Simon can’t help but laugh at your enthusiasm, so at odds with what he usually sees in this environment. “Let’s take a look,” he says as he presses the toggle and the motorized target moves closer. As it gets within range you see a clear, definitive hole in his upper right chest. “I got him!” You exclaim, jumping up and down.

“Easy there, love,” Simon scolds halfheartedly as he leans over you and clicks the safety into place.

You set the gun on the counter and turn to throw your hands around Simon’s neck, laughing. “I did it, Si!”

You laughter is contagious and Simon’s own chuckle is music to your ears as his strong arms lift you up on your tiptoes. “Yeah, you sure did, babe.”

And then his lips are on yours, his kiss hot and passionate, setting your body ablaze. He deepens the kiss for a final moment before setting you back on your feet and pulling away, leaving you breathless.

“Damn,” the curse falls from your lips as you try to catch your breath, feeling just a tad lightheaded.

“Right,” Simon clears his throat, trying to get the run of himself once more. He not-so-subtly adjusts his trousers bringing a satisfying smirk to your lips before turning you back around.

“Let’s get some more practice in.” His voice is resolute, but the bulging erection currently pressing into your backside says differently as he sends the target back to the middle of the range.

You pick up the gun once more, already feeling more comfortable with it, and adjust your stance to set up for another shot. Simon reaches up and corrects your aim just slightly, and you take the opportunity to lean back into him, ass rubbing against his hardened cock.

“I said behave,” Simon groans aloud, but you can feel his hips thrust ever so slightly in response.

You fire off another shot, reloading and firing two more times. The thrill of each shot sends a jolt of electricity through you. You feel in control. Not helpless. Not defenseless. No, you feel…powerful.

Simon swears his cock couldn’t get any harder. He had brought you here with the express purpose of teaching you to defend yourself when he wasn’t there. How could he possibly have anticipated just how fucking turned on he’d get watching you fire that weapon.

Your confidence grows with each shot, your stance already self-assured. You look like a badass. And right now, it is taking every last goddamn bit of strength and willpower for Simon to stop himself from taking you right then and there.

Finally, the gun gives a satisfying click, signifying the end of your rounds.

“Phew,” you exhale with a chuckle. “That was an absolute thrill.” Clicking the safety back in place, you set the gun down and turn to face Simon.

The wide smile on your face, bright as the morning sun, it takes his breath away. He can’t hold back a second longer. His lips crash against yours, large hands settling on your hips, pushing you back against the countertop. He doesn’t dare break the kiss as his meaty hands slide down to your ass, squeezing the supple flesh before lifting you up with a grunt to set you on the countertop.

“Si!” Your exclamations drown in another breath-stealing kiss as Simon slots himself between your legs.

Simon bites back a groan as he grinds his erection against your core, sending a jolt of pleasure through you.

Deft fingers undo the button on your jeans and you lift your hips up, allowing him to pull down your trousers and knickers in one swoop.

You let out a hiss as the cool countertop meets your bare ass, but the sensation is lost among more exciting sensations as Simon gets on his knees before you. Thank god for his height—even with you seated on the countertop he’s at the perfect height.

“Bloody perfection,” Simon eyes your bare cunt, eyes full of wanton need.

His comment brings heat to your cheek, intensified by his playful nips and kisses placed along your inner thighs.

He kisses higher and higher, exciting you with every soft kiss, before skipping right over where you truly need him, moving to the other thigh.

You let out an exasperated groan. “Quit teasing, Si.”

His brown eyes shoot to yours, giving you a look—how dare you order him around. He has half a mind to punish you right here and now, but the scent of your dripping cunt hits his nose and his mouth waters on instinct. He places one more kiss to your thigh before acquiescing and a moving to your core.

Words escape you as he laps at your heat, eating like a man starved. Fingers tangle in his dark blonde locks, hips rising off the cool countertop to meet him.

Simon’s strong hands slide up your legs, gripping your hips and forcing you back down on the counter, tongue driving deeper between your folds, relishing in your gasps of pleasure.

His tongue slides up your sweet folds, savoring every drop, until he reaches your puffy clit. This is when Simon slows it down, takes his time. His tongue swirls around your clit, sending shivers up your spine. He continues teasing you like this, your legs shaking until you’re not sure how much more you can take.

His eyes are wide open, locked on your squirming form. While shooting that firearm gave you a sense of power, this is what gives Simon his sense of power—watching you come undone by him, his tongue, his actions alone sending you into this frenzied state. His right hand slides from your hip to your inner thigh before sliding inside you. He curls his fingers expertly, hitting that spongey spot inside you, making you see stars. He takes your clit into his moth, suckling at the swollen nub, fingers fucking you hard, preparing you for his cock. He releases your clit with an audible pop, his voice breathy and low.

“You’re gonna come for me right now. Just like this. On my fingers. Understood?”

You’re past caring. You’re past words. But somehow you manage out a breathy “Yes, yes, Si, just let me— I’m gonna—“ his tongue is back on your clit and his fingers hitting that spot just so and you’re toppling over the edge, body going rigid. Simon’s tongue is incessant, lapping up every drop of juice that spills from your sweet cunt, prolonging your orgasm with every nip and suckle until you’re bucking up against him.

“Too sensitive, Si,” you mumble, lost in the haze of your orgasm.

“That’s just how I like you swee’heart.” Simon stands up and undoes his belt, freeing his cock from its restraints. You crack your eyes open to see him wrap a fist around his cock, giving his member a few rough tugs, rolling back the skin to expose the deep red shade at the tip of his cock, already leaking precum. You bite your bottom lip as you let out a moan.

“Now you gonna take my cock like a good girl?” Simon smirks down on you, making eye contact as his fist slides languidly up and down his cock.

You nod fervently.

“Good girl, just what I like to hear.” With that, he notches his cock at your opening, looking to you for one final nod of approval before he starts inching inside.

You gasp at the intrusion, but Simon’s groans are nearly pained.

“Fucking hell, babe, you’re so fucking tight.”

You can only whimper in response, still lost in the post-orgasm bliss.

“Shit,” Simon mutters under his breath. “Gotta relax, love,” he presses one hand against your abdomen. “Relax for me. You can take it. I know you can.”

Simon’s mumbles even more praises, each good girl blurring into one another, lulling you, relaxing you. With a final grunt, Simon thrusts in to the hilt, filling you completely.

“That’s my fucking girl,” Simon growls, pulling out to the tip and thrusting back into you. “Ya always take me so well, so fucking well.”

His thrusts are deep, steady, his thick arms holding your body in place while his hips drive home. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes around the room, punctuated by your moans, and Simon swears he’s never been so thankful for Price’s little favors in his entire goddamn life.

“Si…” you cry out, already feeling that familiar tightening in your stomach. Simon is already two steps ahead of you—he recognizes that tell-tale tightening of your cunt, that change in pitch as your breathy moans increase. Simon slides one hand from your hip down to your swollen clit, rubbing tight circles.

“C’mon sweet girl, my good, sweet girl,” Simon’s hips move faster, cock thrusting into you with reckless abandon as he teeters on the edge. “Gonna come all over this fat fucking cock, yeah? Gonna let me fill you with every last drop of me, huh?” Simon’s words bordered on nonsense at this point, lost in the haze of pleasure.

“Need it, Si,” you gasp. “Need to—gonna—can I—“

“Yes,” Simon growls low. It sends you over the edge, your entire body goes rigid as wave after wave of pleasure washes over you.

“That’s my girl, good girl,” Simon coos, working you through your orgasm. His thumb doesn’t leave your puffy clit until your body is jerking against him, overstimulated and worn out.

“You’re such a good girl coming undone for me, love,” Simon murmurs, pressing a kiss to your damp temple.

You’re barely floating back to reality, but you know he hasn’t finished yet. “Need you, Si,” you moan. “Need you to fill me up…please?” You’re downright pitiful about it, but Simon swears it makes him cock even harder.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Simon adjusts your hips in both holds, holding you steady as he pounds into your swollen pussy. “Fuck,” he groans, eyes rolling back. “Not gonna last long like this.” Simon loses all sense of rhythm as he pounds into you with abandon, searching for his end. “Fuck, I’m coming—“ Simon finishes with a growl, hips giving one final hard thrust before his warm seed start to flood you. Simon holds you close as he finishes, panting hard, forehead pressed to yours.

You reflexively tighten your core, causing Simon to inhale sharply, beyond sensitive.

“Fuck,” Simon curses, his breath still coming in pants as he tries to slow his heart rate. “You’re bloody perfect.”

You chuckle in response, flushed from the thrill and excitement. “You’re just saying that because it turns out I’m a decent shot.”

Simon smiles softly before nuzzling his head in your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin there.

“Something like that, love.”

#simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon riley imagine #simon “ghost” Riley x reader

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tkingfisher · 1 year

Text

I have had a WEEK.

First Hound got into some chocolate. Ok, this happens to dogs all the time, it’s not baking chocolate, and I know perfectly well that it is not INSTADEATH. Online calculators by weight are like “Yeah, that’s nothin’.” This dog has eaten rotten toads, hardback books, cigarettes…she is a canine garbage disposal. She has also never been sick a day in her life.

Then she starts eating grass. Except Hound does not know what grass is, so she is just in the garden tearing off Random Leaves. I end up chasing her around going “That’s an elm! That’s sticky germander! That’s a rare Himalayan salvia! What are you DOING?!”

Obviously this happens at one AM. Because of course it does.

Then finally she makes a noise like a murloc having an orgasm and all the plants come back up.

Fine, I think. That’s that. Nature takes its course.

Which just proves that I am, in fact, staggeringly naive. The next morning, Hound is breathing shallowly and lethargic. We drive her to the vet school ER an hour away. We explain about the plants and the chocolate and the murloc noises to a nice young vet with a manbun who looks about fifteen years old. They take Hound back, and discover Hound is having severe arrhythmia. Which is a chocolate toxicity symptom. Except we all agree that the quantity she got hold of absolute should not have done that, but hey, maybe she has developed an unexpected sensitivity. They keep her overnight. I leave a large deposit on my credit card. We drive an hour home.

The next day I come pick her up. A nice vet who actually looks old enough to drink gives me a list of symptoms to watch out for, including extreme lethargy. They give me back some of the deposit. Hound comes home.

The next morning, she is extremely lethargic and furthermore, Not Eating.

In a hound, loss of appetite generally happens several hours after all clinical signs of life are extinguished. I drive her an hour to the ER. A nice vet who appears twelve says her heart is working perfectly fine, and suggests pancreatitis. Let’s do an ultrasound. Err…in a few hours, they’re kind of slammed. I go to a coffee shop and attempt to work.

The ultrasound fails because they can’t see around Hound’s stomach, which is enormously swollen. They do an X-ray. There is something weird in there. Foreign body, it looks like. Not blocking anything, just sitting there. “Foamy mass” is the term being used. It has air bubbles. Chocolate wrapper? Weird mass of leaves? (Oh god, was she eating frog eggs out of the pond again?) The vet decides to induce vomiting to get the prize out of this particular canine Kinder Egg. I sit in the waiting room and attempt to work.

An hour and a half later, the vet comes out and says, in awestruck tones, that they have given Hound two doses of their strongest emetic and she will not vomit. “This dog has an iron stomach!” she says. I explain about the toad and the cigarettes. She asks if they were at the same time. (They were not.) Hound stays overnight. I leave a second, larger deposit on my credit card. I drive an hour home.

The next day, the vet calls me, says “So I wanted to give you an update—oh crap! STAT TRIAGE! I’ll call you back!” and hangs up. Some hours later, she calls me back. No, the foamy thing is still there. Stomach is less swollen, though. They’re still hoping she passes it. By the way, did I know Hound has erhlichiosis? I did not, but at this point, nothing surprises me. Hound stays overnight again.

The next day, Hound is transferred to Internal Medicine. Her protein levels are weird, but she is not retaining fluid. (Yay?) If the weird foamy mass is not gone, they will have to perform surgery tomorrow. I leave a third, even larger deposit over the phone. Hound stays overnight again.

The next day, a new vet, of indeterminate age, but with a strong desire to make sure that I understand every single aspect of every single test begins explaining to me about blood protein levels and that they need to do a targeted ultrasound to make sure she doesn’t have a GI bleed. I am so deep in the hole at this point that I’m just like “Yeah, whatever, do it.” Hound stays overnight again.

He calls the next day to say that she has no bleed and no pancreatitis. What about the foamy mass?

What foamy mass?

The…the one that was…I saw the X-rays…?

Well, there’s nothing there now. Maybe she passed whatever it was. No blockages anywhere. They went over her innards with a fine toothed comb. She’s eating like a horse, incidentally. Would I like to take her home tomorrow?

I drive an hour. I get Hound. The vet’s working theory is an erhlichiosis flare-up brought on by chocolate shock. She gets antibiotics, anti-nausea meds, and special bland food in case her appetite decreases. I receive a tiny amount back on my deposit. We drive an hour home.

Hound, cognizant of her delicate digestive state, immediately attempts to break into the litterbox and eat cat poop. I deliver a lengthy lecture on the evils of dumpster diving. Hound gazes at me with great earnestness, then belches gently in my face. Learning happens to other people, not Hound.

The face of a canine garbage disposal who cost me more than my first car

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oceantornadoo · 4 months

Note

Imagine trying to get mafia!Simon to take you away on a vacation. He’s been so stressed lately, and you want to be a good wife, and get him away from it for a while.

It also doesn’t hurt that you want him completely alone, while not picking up on how he wants the exact same thing…😩😩😩

yummy. this has a smidgen of primal prey and exhibitionism with a small side of breeding kink

———————————————————————

“hi.” you sat down on the couch, taking advantage of a rare day where simon was home before dinner. you had been sleeping together (actually sleeping) since the incident, but every morning he’d leave at 6am with only a forehead kiss and you wouldn’t see him until that night, sneaking under the covers with you and falling asleep immediately. you wanted more, you wanted your husband, but unfortunately his work was keeping him extremely busy.

simon missed you so much it ached. today was a rare occasion and he was hoping to actually spend some time with you, maybe another kiss or two. he fucked his fist daily in his morning shower, thinking about you, but never had time for anything more. so when you looked at him slyly and mentioned “you know we never had a honeymoon…”, he is all over it, immediately telling his bosses he’ll be gone for a week and booking flights to territories far outside any mafia business.

which is how you ended up on one of those private islands in the caribbean, only you two and the ocean for miles and miles. you’ve decided you need to have your husband, all of him, and are finally comfortable enough to go all the way with him. it’s just a matter of making him see that…

“so if we’re all alone…” you say after breakfast the first day, taking in the sunlight and how your backyard connects to the beach. “and i don’t want tan lines…” simon’s eyes are on you, burning holes into the skimpy bikini you have on, mask halfway up his face from eating breakfast up. he’s taking in all your curves, bit of belly and some stretch marks, cataloging every piece that you’re allowing him to see. your hands track his movements sensually, sliding up from your waist to your neck, and ever so slowly, undoing the ties of your top. you hold them there for a second, reveling in the hunger in your husbands eyes. you untie the straps at the waist and the top falls, baring all of your tits to a man who might devour you right here, right now.

to cover the blush on your face, you turn around, working your bikini bottoms off, adding some sway into your hips. you bend over, fully naked, and hear something between a whine and a growl from behind you. you turn around again, baring all of you this time. if he can’t tell you want him by this, you might need to just jump on him. there’s a glint in his eyes, a reminder of ghost, the man who gets what he wants no matter what.

you’re running towards the beach, simon right behind you. he’s stripping off his shirt and mask as he goes, too caught up in the moment of care. your feet touch the ocean, stopping for a second to take in the salt in the air. that was your mistake.

simon grabs you from behind, marking you with bruises that will last for days. “thought you could run, wife? could tease me and leave?” you’re clawing at him, pretending to struggle while secretly loving it, loving this man who can catch on so well to what you want. “say red if you want me to stop.” he whispers and you nod. simon bites down on your shoulder and you gasp, the sensation so foreign. through the pain you find pleasure in being marked his, finally. he presses you against him, clad in only boxers, allowing you to feel how hard you make him. you try to run again, only moving because he lets you, making it so your torso is above the water.

simon is right there with you, standing in this ocean, captivated by you. “i’m glad we’re finally alone.” he says, stopping the scene from before so you know how much he wants you. “me too.” you reply, hands running up his torso you’ve felt in the dark but never seen. and finally your hands make it to his face, thumbs running over faded scars and bruises. you pull him in for a deep kiss, murmuring “thank you” in between kisses, grateful for this man showing you all of him. he picks you up, chest to chest, hand pulling your hair as waves gently hit you both from behind. simon is done with this, the teasing and the wanting, he just wants to take you.

so he’s running again towards the house, desperate to have you. he lays you out on the kitchen counter, a meal he’s waited weeks for. your kisses turn sloppy and he stops them, causing you to whine. “let me taste my wife, yeah?” and you nod. he makes his way down, licking your nipples, giving you slight bites when you try to tug him down more. next is your stomach, where he places reverent kisses so you know how much he loves it. finally he’s right there, licking the salt from the juncture of your thighs. your hand finds his hair and tugs it, so he tugs your nipple right back. “siii” you moan. he noses the outside of your clit, a sharp gasp bursting from your throat. “that’s what i thought.” he dives in, moving your legs over his shoulders, he starts slow, licking the remaining water from your folds. kitten licks, getting accustomed to the scent of you, his day old scruff scratching your thighs. he moves toward your hole, swirling his tongue around before finally plunging in. he’s sure to keep his nose against you clit as he tastes you, the squelching sounds increasing with every lick.

he moves his right hand from your thigh to your ass, thumb on your other hole, pausing to let you tell him off. when you don’t, he presses in slightly, just the tip of his thumb, giving you more pressure. he can tell you’re on the top of your orgasm, your walls sucking his tongue in as your whines get more desperate. he hums “come for me, lovie.” and there you are, walls clenching around nothing as he pays attention to your clit. he pushes his thumb in a bit more into your ass, prolonging your orgasm as you feel full and empty at the same time.

“simon, fuck.” you whimper at your husband between your thighs. he slowly removes himself, thumb out of you, as he gives you a slow smile, covered in your juices. he climbs forward to kiss you and just as he does, inserts two fingers into your aching cunt. you moan into his mouth, needing more. he knows. “what do you need, lovie?” simon smirks down at you, knowing you’re absolutely cockdrunk and he hasn’t even fucked you yet. “i need…” you lose your nerve, suddenly aware of being fully naked with the doors open. anyone could walk by your villa and see you spread out in front of your husband. like a switch, the thought turns you on.

“i need you to fuck me.” you say, gaining courage. he raises his eyebrows, surprised at his little wife finally saying what she wants. his dick has recovered from the ocean water so he drags down his boxers, letting you see it jut out against his stomach, leaking precum.

“need who to fuck you?” he asks, somehow climbing on the table, forearms braced against your head as his dick lays on your cunt, teasing your clit. “say it.” he growls, pinching your nipple because of your silence. you draw him in for a quick kiss, a moment of tenderness, letting him see the trust in your eyes. “need my husband to fuck his wife.” you reply, hand snaking down to pump his cock. he grunts, cock lengthening at your touch. he lays his hand on top of yours as you guide his cock to your entrance. he takes a second to read your clit with it, and while you’re gasping at the sensation, he slots it in.

you both moan at the contact, reveling in the feeling. his thumb finds your clit, swirling it as he works his way in, small strokes until you fully let him in. finally his hips are against yours, his face in the crook of your neck. “simon.” you cry, needing him to move. and he does, hips pumping into you as he rises up, one hand under your head to protect it as the other plays with your clit. you’re already on edge from his fingers, so when he changes the angle to hit your pubic bone, you’re there, walls spasming around his cock as he draws it in and out. “you feel so good, lovie. i want to make this longer but fuck.” your nails draw his hips in, letting him use you to reach his orgasm. you give him sloppy kisses, saliva dripping down to spread beneath your tits, showing him how much you want him to use you as you suck his tongue.

“come in me, si. want you to get me pregnant.” you both know you’re on birth control but that doesn’t matter in the moment. “waddling around, everyone’ll know how good you fuck your wife.” that’s it, simon’s cumming in you, white liquid seeping down your folds as your womb can’t contain all of it. you both leave his cock in you as he collapses into you, breathing hard. “want you to fuck me like that all the time, si.” you whisper, letting him know how much you liked that. “gonna be a good little wife for me? bend over anytime i want?”

“yes sir.”

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley smut #cod 141 #simon riley wife #mafia au #fluff #breeding k1nk #honeymoon #tornadothoughts

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unseededtoast · 7 months

Text

I Stayed There | Spencer Reid x F! Reader

Summary: After an eye-opening case, Spencer realizes that his job puts you in too much danger. Loving you too much to put you in harm's way, he does the only thing he can think of that would ensure your safety. Years pass by slowly, and neither you nor Spencer are able to move on. Inspired by "Right Where You Left Me" by Taylor Swift.

Part Two: Take My Hand

Cross posted on Wattpad and AO3 and here is my masterlist!

WC:6.8k

Warnings: Angst. So much angst, and pining, and emotional turmoil. Perpetual heartbreak

a/n: So I finally managed to write about Spencer and it not be inspired by a Hozier song, and yes it's a little shorter than my norm but I think it works well. Anyways, this is the first oneshot I've written that has actually made me cry. And once again thank you for reading, you all deserve the world

"Spencer please, don't leave. Please." Your voice sounds foreign in your own ears, and he rests his hands on the handle, looking back to you one last time, an unrecognizable look on his face.

"I'm sorry." Is all he says before leaving for the last time.

You're left on your knees in the middle of the apartment, feet bleeding from the broken glass you stepped over, and heart shattering into a million irreparable pieces.

You anxiously look to the clock every two minutes, leg bouncing up and down as you anticipate your boyfriend, Spencer, walking back into your shared apartment after his assignment. He had texted you earlier in the day to let you know he would be home tonight, and so you took it upon yourself to deep clean the apartment and prepare his favorite meal. Spencer is always mentally and physically exhausted when he returns from a case, and so you want to make him as comfortable as you possibly can. He deserves it and it's the least you can do.

After five extremely long minutes, you hear the door open and stand from the couch with a smile on your face. Spencer looks less happy to be here, and your heart plummets; it must have been one hell of a case. Changing your approach, you calm your nerves and approach him, taking his coat and hanging it on the rack beside the door without a word. He drops his bag down beside the door and turns to you, engulfing you in a warm, tight hug.

"I missed you." You speak into his chest, feeling his lips press a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I missed you more." He says, and you hear the exhaustion and tension in his voice. You pull away from the hug and kiss his cheek, letting your thumb caress his cheekbone.

"I've got dinner ready for you, go get something comfortable on, baby." You rub his back and he nods, walking off to your room. In the meantime, you turn off the overhead light and opt for soft lighting tonight, turning on the tableside lamps and lighting his favorite scented candle on the coffee table. You make sure his dinner is warm, and pour him a glass of wine, so it's one less thing he has to think about tonight.

Moments later, he returns from the room, hair a little disheveled and eyes tired. Without a word, you pull out the seat for him, and he thanks you. You go to pour your own glass of wine and join him at the table, content with just being in his presence for the night. If he needs silence, that's exactly what you'll give him. His job is entirely stressful, and you don't want to add to that stress by asking a million different questions.

He eats dinner quietly, and you think he's almost avoiding your eye. But surely that's not the case, he's probably just tired. And when he's done you clear his plate for him and ask if he wants another glass, instead of looking at you, he just stares down at the tablecloth and shakes his head. Your heart sinks, but you remind yourself that you don't know what he just experienced on the job and deserves some grace.

By the time you two are ready for bed, you blow out the candle and turn off the lights, eager to be held by Spencer tonight after not having him home all week. You quietly enter the room, careful not to disturb his peace and get in next to him. You turn to face him, expecting to see his beautiful gem-colored eyes, but instead are met with the back of his head. Once again, your heart aches, thinking he had to have had one of the worst cases. In an attempt to comfort him, you reach an arm over him and hold him close. You can always be held another night, but tonight he needs this more than you.

While he doesn't wish you a goodnight, or give you a kiss, or even look at you, you drift off to sleep, just happy to have him back even if it's just for a few days.

-----

The next morning, you wake to find Spencer is already gone from the bed. Where he should be is an empty, cold space. You listen for him, but hear nothing, which is odd. Worried about him, you get up and rub your eyes before leaving bed to see where he is. As you go to walk out of the room, you notice that there are two packed bags by the bedroom door that most definitely were not there last night. Usually you two spend some time together in bed, catching up and kissing on each other. Something in the pit of your stomach tells you something is off, but you do your best to ignore it.

You walk out of the bedroom and see Spencer sitting alone at the dining table. He's already dressed for the day. Maybe he got put on another case already? Your mind fights to rationalize what's going on. Spencer looks up when he hears you walking towards him, and you see him swallow before looking back to the table. You feel nauseous, but take a seat next to him, mirroring your positions last night.

You reach out for his hands that are interlaced atop the table, but he pulls his hands away before you can make contact.

"What's going on honey?" Your voice shows your nerves plainly, and you're convinced he can hear your heart thumping out of your chest. He takes a breath and stands from the table. You follow suit and try to busy your mind with something, so you pick up the empty wine glasses to take to the sink, but his voice interrupts you.

"I don't want to be with you anymore." His words hang heavy in the air, and you can't believe what you heard. Surely, you had heard wrong, right?

"What?" You ask, palms getting clammy and eyes growing wide, searching his face for any indication that this is just some weird, twisted joke.

"I don't want to be with you anymore." He repeats, your mouth falls slack.

"I don't-what? Why?" Your mind is working overtime to make sense of all this, and you feel your eyes involuntarily water.

"I-I met someone else." He says and the glasses fall from your shaking hands, shattering all over the white tablecloth, remnants of wine staining the cloth. Your ears are ringing, throat constricting with emotion, chest burning as you start hyperventilating.

"Spencer what? I don't understand." Tears flow down your face and you ignore the glass, stepping towards him, but he backs away. You swear you see tears in his eyes but you can't be for sure, as tears blur your own vision. A pain on the bottom of your foot sends shivers up your spine but you can't be bothered to look at what happened.

"I met someone else, and I don't want to be with you anymore." He says again, hammering the sentiment into your brain. Spencer turns from you and goes to your bedroom, picking up the suitcases you saw.

You practically choke on your sobs, unable to grasp that this is reality. Never in a hundred years would you have imagined your Spencer would find someone else. There had been no signs, nothing even slightly out of the ordinary. How could this have happened? How could it have happened and you noticed nothing?

With red eyes and a steady stream of tears running down your face, you try one last time.

"Spencer please, don't leave. Please." Your voice sounds foreign in your own ears, and he rests his hand on the handle, looking back to you one last time, an unrecognizable look on his face.

"I'm sorry." Is all he says before leaving for the last time.

You're left on your knees in the middle of the apartment, feet bleeding from the broken glass you stepped over, and heart shattering into a million irreparable pieces.

-----

Two weeks later you find yourself sitting alone at a dimly lit table. Today would have been your third anniversary with Spencer, and you had made these reservations months in advance. But instead of the two of you sharing a romantic evening full of love, you sit alone.

You're thankful for the low lighting in the restaurant, so that people aren't openly able to see the rogue tears that fall down your face in uneven intervals; emotions come and go like tidal waves. The waitress comes and refills your glass, giving you a sympathetic smile as she leaves.

She probably thinks you're pathetic for sitting here alone, spending hours in this one spot. The same spot where you and Spencer had come together in the first place. Your first date had been here and the two of you had been seated at this very table. The memory is still vivid in your mind, you can see the light reflecting in Spencer's eyes as he reached for your hand across the table, can still remember the cologne he wore. In fact, you're convinced that if you close your eyes you'd be able to reach out and feel him.

Throughout the evening all you can do is sip your wine and stare at the empty seat across from you, oblivious to the world around you. All you can think about is how tonight should be. Spencer should be here with you, sharing an appetizer and picking something from the menu you both like, so that you can share. You should be confessing your undying love to him, thanking him for another amazing year together and reminiscing on how far you two have come.

But instead your mascara is smudged and you're on your fourth glass of wine, alone, in the middle of a busy restaurant that's teeming with life.

You see a couple walk into the restaurant and your throat constructs with emotion. The smiles on their faces makes your heart drop, and you can't help but feel sorrow and jealously in some intricate tangle together. The woman laughs, her eyes crinkling in the corners.

Unable to handle the sight, you down the rest of your wine and leave a sizable amount of cash on the table before leaving, running a finger below your eyes so people can't see your tears. You don't want their sympathy, don't want to hear how they take pity on you.

Your feet carry you through the streets, taking the familiar path to the local park where you sit on a wooden bench. The crisp breeze sends chills up your spine, but you wrap your hands close to your body and stare at the leaves in various stages of color change.

To your right is an empty field, and it's where you and Spencer used to come for spring and summertime picnics. Usually on a weekend after he had a case, the two of you would pack up some snacks and lounge at the park for the afternoon, enjoying the beautiful weather and soaking in the comforts of each other. You never realized just how much those moments meant until they ceased altogether.

Eventually, you make your way back to the apartment. It hasn't changed a bit in two weeks, you've left everything as it was. Spencer's books are still adorning the shelves, his products still lay on the bathroom counter, and his coat still hangs from the rack beside the door. You suspect they'll be gone one day, you know him well enough to understand how he values his books. And when that day comes, you know you'll leave the apartment and give him ample time to pack up, leaving you with a nearly empty apartment. Truthfully, you never want that day to come but you know it's looming over you like an angry storm cloud.

You strip from the dress you had forced yourself to wear to the restaurant and slip one of Spencer's shirts over your head, taking in the scent and committing it to memory, as if you could ever forget it. The dark bedroom invites you to bed and you crawl in, hand lingering on the spot where Spencer should be, kissing you goodnight. But instead, you lay there alone, just like every night since he left and like every night that's to come.

-----

"What's up with you kid?" Derek asks Spencer, who's been staring out of the jet's window, uncharacteristically quiet. Spencer sighs and looks at Derek, who has a quizzical look on his face.

"I'm fine, just thinking about the unsub." Spencer lies right through his teeth, but Derek isn't buying it. Spencer's actions for the past two weeks has been peculiar, and everyone has noticed but nobody's asked. Until now.

"Now don't give me that. I know something is wrong." Derek's voice is quiet, as to not put Spencer on the spot in front of the whole team. A silence passes between them before Spencer leans forward in his seat. His eyes are tired, dark circles adorn his under eyes.

"We broke up." Is all Spencer says. Truthfully, he'd rather not get into everything, the wound is still fresh and Spencer's still trying to come to terms with the decision he made.

"What do you mean you broke up?" Derek is surprised, his voice raising ever so slightly. Spencer rubs his hands together.

"After the last case I realized that my job puts her in more danger than I thought. When the unsub had pictures of her hanging in his room alongside us, I couldn't let her be a target anymore." Spencer's voice breaks and a tear runs down his cheek. This is the first time he's admitted to someone what had happened, and it brings all of the emotions to the forefront of his mind again. Derek rests a hand on Spencer's knee and gives him a heartfelt look, eyes soft and full of understanding.

"And when I left I had told her I met someone else. I knew if I told her the truth that she'd be able to talk me out of leaving. But if she thought I had found someone else I knew she'd be too kind and wouldn't interfere. She loves me so much that she would sacrifice her own happiness for mine. And the worst part is that she bought it all so easily, she really thinks I could ever replace her." Tears fall down Spencer's face and he chokes on his own breath as he spills it all to Derek, whose own heart breaks at the confession.

Without another word, Derek brings Spencer in for a hug, and for once Spencer doesn't mind the contact. In fact, he's grateful for it.

-----

The ground is now covered in a thick blanket of snow. Frost decorates the corners of the windows, and the apartment that should be full of comforting warmth is only full of coldness and despair.

Christmas is two days away and you hadn't even bothered to put up the tree this year. There's no reason to celebrate or get excited. Everything you had loved and cherished about the season is gone, vanished into thin air. The past two years you and Spencer had hosted a dinner party for all of your friends. It was always a good time, a time where everyone came together with hearts full of love and generous spirits.

But this year you're sat at the dining room table, staring at a limited edition copy of The Hobbit you had found from an antiques dealer six months ago. It's one of the early prints and is in great condition for its age. You knew Spencer would love it and so you bought it without regard of the price. Seeing the happiness on his face would've been worth every penny and more.

After staring at it for hours, you grab the fragile book and slide it in one of the bookshelves. Your heart constricts but you're unable to produce tears anymore. It's like your insides have frozen over, and while you still feel, you never react to it anymore. The dull ache in your chest is a permanent fixture in your life now. One day you woke up and couldn't even cry anymore. It's like you've become a shell of your former self, a statue sentenced to life.

The lights are off in the apartment, the overcast light seeping in through the curtains, giving you all the light you need. You end up on the couch, curling up in Spencer's favorite blanket and stare outside at the people passing by. They're all holding gifts and dishes of food with smiles on their faces, likely heading to visit family.

Your phone rings in the bedroom, but you can't be bothered to go get it. There's nobody you're in a particular mood to talk to anyways, except for one man, but you know he'll never call you again. After a few minutes, the ringing ceases, but begins again only seconds after it stops. Like last time, you let it continue ringing. You've no family left, and the friends you do have all gradually began distancing themselves after Spencer left. They told you that they were there to support you, but eventually they were unable to handle your solemn mood and just quit trying.

As the limited sunlight begins disappearing for the night, you drag yourself off the couch and begin getting ready for bed. You brush your teeth and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes are dull and sunken, dark circles painting your undereyes. Your cheekbones have become more pronounced, your overall expression sullen. At this point you can't even recognize yourself.

Before you can pull the covers over top of you, there's a knock at the door. Your heart hammers in your chest and you begin running through every possible scenario, a mix of emotions flurrying through your system. Curious, you get out of bed and answer the front door, seeing Derek Morgan on the other side with a box in his hands. His signature smile is on his face, and you lean against the doorframe, confused about why he's here. You haven't talked to Derek since before Spencer left, and surely Spencer made it known that he's with someone else now.

"Derek?" You ask, studying his appearance. Nothing about him has changed, really.

"Can I come in?" He asks, and you glance over your shoulder, suddenly self conscious about the state of the apartment. It's not that it's unclean, it's just that Spencer's things are still everywhere. But maybe that's why he's here, maybe Spencer wants his things back and Derek is just here to tell you.

"Of course." Your voice is quiet and you open the door for him to step through. He looks around, and you move to turn on a lamp so he can see without tripping over a rug. Derek places the box on the counter and turns to face you.

"No Christmas tree?" He asks. You should've expected nothing less from a profiler. Cracking the faintest of smiles, you shake your head.

"Not this year. And um, not sure if you heard but there's no party this year." You hate how defeated you sound, but it's a true reflection of your physical and mental state. Just dejected and numb. Nervously, you start playing with the skin around your fingers.

"I know. I just wanted to come by and see you." Derek says, nothing but kindness in his eyes. Your heart swells at the sentiment. Derek and you had always gotten along together quite well, and you considered him the BAU member, besides Spencer, that you connected with the best.

"That's very kind of you Derek." Your voice cracks from emotion, but you try to play it off as you clearing your throat. "Can I get you some water?" You follow up, feeling rude for not having offered him anything.

"Water would be great, thank you." He takes you up on your offer and moves to sit at the kitchen island. You set the glass in front of him and lean on the other side of the island, waiting for him to tell you that Spencer wants his belongings back. You knew this day would come, but you never wanted it to.

"Why did you really come here?" You find the nerve to just ask him, growing tired of beating around the bush. Derek takes a sip of water before sighing,

"I hadn't heard from you in a long time, and it's Christmas. I missed you. Oh, and I got you this." He says and slides the small box across the counter to you. Feeling blood rush to your face, you fiddle with the ribbon on top.

"I'm sorry I didn't get you anything, I really wasn't expecting anyone." You're embarrassed that you have nothing to give back, but he shakes his head, dismissing your sentiment and urging you to open the box.

Untying the ribbon and lifting the top of the box, you see a beautifully crafted bookmark inside. It's a clear bookmark with colorful pressed flowers preserved within the thin layers of resin. You turn the bookmark around in your fingers and smile up at Derek.

"Thank you, this is beautiful." You place the bookmark back in the box and walk around the island to give Derek a hug. The words on the tip of his tongue die; there's no good reason to tell you that the gift was from Spencer, and that he asked Derek to give it to you as if it were from him.

His arms wrap around you, and it's the first physical contact you've felt since Spencer. While it's just a friendly gesture, it evokes something within you, and you can't help but start crying in Derek's arms.

"Hey hey hey, what's going on?" Derek holds you at arms length and looks worriedly at you. You feel pathetic to have to admit to him what's going on, but you trust Derek enough to know that he won't patronize you for this.

"I miss him so much. He should be here with me." Is all you can say before sobs wrack your body once more. It seems you can still cry after all.

Derek is patient with you, and he stays for hours, giving you some much needed company. You tell him about the day Spencer left through broken cries, and you tell him that you're not able to move out of this apartment; this is the only thing you have left to hold onto. If you lose this apartment, and everything in it, you fear that eventually the memories of Spencer will fade from your mind, and the thought of that is enough to send you spiraling. You don't want to forget Spencer. No matter how badly he hurt you, he's the one true love of your life. And you're not interested in finding someone else or moving on, because you know you could never love that deeply again.

-----

"You coming with us?" Emily asks Spencer, packing up her belongings for the end of the day. The rest of the team is going out for celebratory drinks, but Spencer doesn't want to join, knowing he will likely bring down the mood. And besides, he would rather get back to his place and read a book or something to distract himself from reality.

"No thanks, I'll uh, I'll come next time." He declines, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair.

"Oh no you don't, you said that last time." Penelope says, coming out from her office to join in on the Friday night activities. The air is still cold outside, but the snow is basically gone for the season, or so everyone hopes.

Knowing he's already lost this argument, Spencer gives in and joins the group at the bar for drinks to celebrate another case closed. He sits at the end of the table, swirling his straw around in the glass, watching as the ice cubes slowly melt away. The rest of the team goes on and on about their weekend plans, but he tunes them all out.

"Hey you with us?" Someone waves a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance. Spencer blinks a few times before giving JJ an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, just kinda lost in my own head." He says and she claps a hand on his shoulder and forces Spencer to look at the bar.

"See those girls over there? Pick one and go talk to them. It'll be good for you." She says, and while Spencer knows she's only trying to help, the thought of talking to any woman in a remotely romantic sense makes him feel nauseous. Spencer shakes his head,

"I'm good." He says, but JJ won't give it up. Derek tries to tell her to knock it off, but she's determined for some reason to get Spencer back out into the dating scene. After a few more attempts from JJ, Spencer finally stands from his chair.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I don't want any of them. I'll see you all on Monday." His words are rushed and he's already moving towards the door before anyone can stop him. The fresh air on his face is refreshing, and he starts walking aimlessly, trying to distract himself from anything but thoughts of you.

Since he had left you, Spencer had rented out a small apartment, only a few streets away. He was unable to move any farther than that, still feeling the need to keep some sort of tabs on you, just to be sure that you're safe. Sometimes he'd purposely walk past and try to see up into the window, hoping to get just a glimpse of you, but you always had the curtains closed. And he had been vigilant in making sure you hadn't moved out. He asked Penelope to monitor the rental status. While he misses his belongings, he knows that everything is well taken care of with you, and if you ever decided to sell or get rid of his things, he's already made arrangements to anonymously get them.

Spencer glances down at his watch as he walks in the brisk early spring air and decides to take a detour before returning to his new apartment. He finds himself at the park where he remembers the shared picnics, simpler and happier times. He makes his way to the bench the two of you always sat at, and he feels like the air has been kicked out of his lungs. There on the bench, you sit, oblivious to his presence behind you.

He should've known that you might be here. After all, it is your birthday, and the two of you always came here on your birthday. You always insisted that you make the first trip of the year to the park on your birthday. He watches as your hair blows in the breeze and he wants nothing more than to go to you, to feel your soft hair in his hands once again, to have your arms embrace him, to have your sweet kisses lingering on his lips.

But he knows that things are better this way, with him out of your life. You're safer this way, he reminds himself. If you're alive and safe, that is good enough for him. He figures that eventually you'll find someone else and live a happy and fulfilling life with them, and he wants that for you. While he wishes he could share that life with you, he understands that his lifestyle is not conducive with that happening.

Spencer turns and walks away, leaving you at the bench by yourself.

-----

Another year has passed, and you find yourself in a familiar seat, drinking a familiar wine, wearing a familiar dress. Today would have been your fourth anniversary with Spencer. You had made the reservation, needing to cling to something. You understand that this is pathetic and sad, but you can't help it.

Just like last year, you can remember Spencer's hand reaching for yours, but this time you have a hard time remembering how soft his hand was in yours. You can't quite recall the multitude of colors in his eyes. The realization that you own memory is betraying you sends chills throughout your body. First it was his scent fading from the bedsheets, then it was not being able to recall how raspy his voice sounded in the mornings, and now you can barely remember the feel of him.

You feel hollow inside with the new development, and down the rest of the wine in your glass. The seat across from you is empty, but you force your mind to remember what he was wearing the first time you two had a date here. His shirt was white and he was wearing a purple tie, the sleeves were pushed to his elbows and his hair was just every so slightly messy, but in an endearing way.

Content with the memory, you drink one more glass of wine before leaving a generous amount of cash on the table and going back to the apartment. When you step outside, the rain is coming down at a steady pace, but you can't seem to care that you'll be soaking wet by the time you get back to the apartment. In fact, the cold water droplets remind you that you can still feel something. For so long you've forgotten what it feels like to have emotion other than numbness.

When you get back to the apartment, you lock the door behind you and go through the motions. The wet dress takes residence on the bathroom floor and you figure you'll get around to picking it up later. Your mind is occupied on recalling as much as you can, the realization that things are fading sends you into a mild panic.

You move from room to room, making yourself remember at least one thing about each room. In the bathroom you remember watching Spencer get ready for work in the mornings through sleepy eyes and admiring how handsome he looked in his work attire. You always told him that he was the most beautiful man on Earth, and he was quick to tell you that you were the most gorgeous woman on Earth, kissing the tip of your nose before he left for the day.

The bedroom reminds you of the times Spencer's hands caressed every curve of your body. How he would kiss every square inch of you, how it felt like you two were made for each other. His fingers would always entwine themselves with yours as he kissed on your neck, the two of you moving your bodies in heated tandem.

In the living room you remember curling up together, cuddling underneath the blankets in the soft light, each reading and quietly enjoying the presence of the other. Of course, Spencer would always finish his book before you got to chapter three of yours, but once he was done, he would always lay his head in your lap and you would play with his curls as you took your time. His eyes would always flutter shut and eventually he'd fall asleep. You never had the heart to wake him up, so you would end up spending an uncomfortable night on the couch, but beyond happy to be tangled up with him.

The kitchen reminds you of the time he accidentally burnt toast. You were never quite sure how he managed to do it, but you thought it was sweet he was trying to make you breakfast in bed for Valentine's Day. Spencer had planned an elaborate day full of romance and he was determined to let you be taken care of for once. He had given you a full body massage, created a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and taken you to your favorite ice cream shop.

The front entryway of the apartment reminds you of all the mornings you saw Spencer off to work, fixing his perpetually crooked ties before giving him a kiss on the cheek and telling him to save the day. His face would always blush when you kissed him goodbye, and he would always tell you that he'd be back soon and not to miss him too much.

When the memories fade, you find yourself standing alone in the middle of the apartment, just like it's been for over a year now. Your eyes are trained on the dining room table, specifically at the pink stain that soaked into the white cloth, reminding you when time stopped.

You wonder about the other woman he found, if they're happy, if he's happy. You wonder what she's like, how she's similar and different from you. You hope she's making him the happiest man alive, it's what he deserves. You know he's taking the best care of her, giving her his undivided attention and sweet gestures. Does she know his favorite dessert? His favorite sock combination? You wonder if she's found the sensitive spot on his neck, just below his ear.

-----

Spencer sits at his desk, staring at the incident report that lays in front of him. Usually he would have this complete in less than twenty minutes, but this particular report is causing him some issues. It was no secret to anyone on the team that this case had struck a nerve with Spencer, it was obvious from his treatment of the unsub and in the way he tirelessly worked this case.

Sure, since the break up Spencer had thrown himself into his work, but not like this. Hotch, Morgan, and Emily all noticed a spark of light come back into his eye, like he had real purpose again. He was always attentive to each case, but this one hit particularly close to home. The victims looked eerily similar to you. In a way, Spencer felt like he was protecting you from the unsub.

Breaking him out of his thoughts, Morgan sits on the edge of his desk and closes the file so Spencer has no choice but to give him undivided attention. Derek had been keeping in contact with you all this time, unbeknownst to Spencer, and he knows just how much each of you are suffering without each other. At first he had hope that they would both take their time to mourn and then move on, but neither of you have.

"I met this girl the other day, she invited me on a double date with her friend. The only catch is that I have to bring a friend as well. What do you say?" Derek proposes, hoping that by some miracle, Spencer will agree. If you and Spencer aren't going to reconcile, then he's going to take matters into his own hands and help each of you move on with life. Spencer shakes his head.

"I'm good, thank you though." Derek bites the inside of his cheek, feeling frustration bubble within him. If only he could open Spencer's eyes to see the situation the way he does.

"Come on man, it's been almost two years now and you haven't even looked at someone with even a tiny bit of interest." Derek recalls that this conversation with you went the same way. You had shot him down immediately, pulling out every possible excuse as to why you couldn't go with him.

"I'm just not interested, sorry." Spencer says, trying to open the file once again, but Derek stops him from doing so.

"I'm saying this as your friend. You either need to move on or go get her back. If you don't you're going to be stuck like this forever." Spencer's eyebrows furrow and his jaw sets tensely, his eyes move slowly to meet Derek's.

"She can never be replaced. And like I've told you before, she's safer without me in the picture." Spencer feels his throat tighten as he imagines what it would be like to have you back in his arms. Derek shakes his head, and tries to keep his cool.

"And who's to say she's not suffering just as bad as you are?" With that, Derek gets off of Spencer's desk and leaves him alone with his thoughts.

Spencer always thought that you would eventually move on. In fact, he assumed that you had because it's been close to a year since Penelope or Morgan brought you up. He had taken their silence as an indicator that you've been doing better. Spencer knows you're still in the apartment, he knows Penelope would've told him that much.

The thought of you sharing intimate moments with another man in the same apartment the two of you shared makes Spencer sick to his stomach. Imagining another man's hands on your body, his lips on yours, your love showering him, makes Spencer's heart contort in pain. But Derek's words contradict everything Spencer had assumed. Is it true, could you possibly be living in as much pain as he is?

After work, Spencer takes the long way back to his apartment, detouring to go past your apartment. He stands where he can see the window, and this time you have the curtains pulled open to let in some natural light. He stands there for hours, hoping to see you walk past. And eventually, his patience pays off. As the sun begins to set he sees you walk to the window to close the curtains.

Spencer can see even from this distance that you're not yourself. Your hair looks like it's gone without its usual care, your clothes look like they've been picked out with no care. And you always took pride in your appearance, you always wanted to look good and you loved expressing yourself through fashion.

You close the curtains without spotting him across the street, and his heart sinks when he can no longer see you. That tiny glimpse was enough to show him that Derek wasn't lying. There isn't anyone new in your life, if there were, he would be able to tell from the way you carried yourself.

Emotions wage a battle inside of Spencer, feeling confliction he hasn't felt since the day he left you. On one hand, he misses you dearly. In fact, there's nothing more he wants from life than to be able to feel your touch one more time. But on the other hand, he remembers the twisted unsub that had targeted you alongside the rest of the team. And he knows that it's possible for something like that to happen again.

Spencer reminds himself that he would never be able to live if something had happened to you. That if some sick individual targeted you again, and was successful in carrying out their plan, that he would not be able to go on. He knows that if he stays out of your life, then you have the best odds of living a happy life. He knows that his job put a strain on you, though you would hide it well. He knows you missed him terribly, worried about him constantly; and you endured all of it because you loved him more than anything. And he loves you too much to make you continue that lifestyle.

He convinces himself that one day you will move on and that you will be happy. With one last fleeting look towards the window, he turns and goes back to his apartment, where he's sure he will dream of nothing but memories of you.

-----

Your eyes are glued to the television in front of you, not believing what you're seeing. A press conference is being replayed on the news about some case the FBI is working. They're calling out to the public for any helpful information. And you feel bad for the victim, but you can't focus as you stare at a familiar face to the side.

Spencer stands straight, face serious as the blonde on the screen goes over important facts. You notice he's grown his hair out, that he's filled out a little more, but his tie is still crooked. Your teeth bite the skin of your lip to keep it from trembling. This is the first you've seen him since he left four years ago.

You know it's pathetic, that you've devolved into something you don't recognize, but you don't seem to care. After the night Spencer left, your life had lost its light and you never were able to find a reason to try moving on. Derek tried to help in the beginning, but after a while he stopped trying; he still comes around every once in a while to keep you company but you see the pity in his eyes.

Your fingertips graze the screen, as if you'd be able to feel Spencer through the television. His eyes flicker towards the camera as your fingers ghost over his face and it's enough to send a tear down your cheek. The television switches to another story and you get yourself off the couch and you pour yourself a healthy glass of wine.

Sitting at the dining room table, your mind replays that fateful morning again and again. After all this time you still hold nothing but absolute love for him and you wish that any day he would knock on the door.

But until that day comes, if it ever does, you'll stay here, right where it all happened, right where he left you.

Part Two: Take My Hand

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid angst #derek morgan #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #taylor swift #taylor swift inspired #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fandom #Spotify #heavy angst

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pablitogavii · 4 months

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can you write about gavi being super depressed and is not taking care of himself and yn realizes it?

Hard times

Ever since the injurty, Gavi completely changed... he was no longer the smily happy boy running around the field and making jokes with everyone.

His face was more grim every day, and he spoke less. As his girlfriend, you've noticed these changes recently and tried talking to him but one thing that always stays the same is how stubborn he is.

"I tried talking to him, but he just brushes it off" you explained to Aurora who came by with Belen to visit the two of you. Pablo didn't want to bother them and make them stay in Barcelona for long knowing they have their own jobs to go back to, and he had you by his side always.

"It's hard for him to go through this in the peak of his career, querida. Just be patient and he'll open up to you" Belen explained and you listened to the wiser older woman carefully. After all, she knew her son best.

"Maybe we can get him to see someone, if that might help?" Aurora suggested but we all knew how Pablo sees doctors. It will be like trying to convince a scared child to get a vaccine.

Pablo entered the room and we suddenly stopped talking greeting him with a smile.

"They brought your favorite fruits, cariño ..." you say and he shrugs his shoulders plopping down on the couch while you walked to the kitchen knowing it was the time for his medications.

"Does it still hurt you, hermano?" Aurora asked noticing the way he was massaging his leg when he raised it onto the bed.

"Yeah ... especially at night. But I didn't tell her anything, she worries too much you know" he explains looking towards you with a first smile he created in days.

"Maybe you should, she's scared that you're shutting out ..." Belen said and he sighed knowing that he really did become distant and cold recently ... everything just seemed to agitate him but he didn't want to take it out on you.

"Here, cariño your medicine" you came back and he groaned sick and tired of all the pills, physicals and scans ... he just wanted this nightmare to end.

"I'm gonna go to the bedroom, they make me sleepy" he said leaving quickly and you nodded sitting down quite sad.

"You sure you don't want to eat something?" you ask but he shakes his head.

"Not hungry ..." he said quickly and you nodded continuing to spend time with him family.

At night, you felt him shifting and turning constantly woken up and you turned to check what's wrong with him. His face said the whole story ... he was in pain.

"Amor, why didn't you wake me earlier? I can massage it for you if you'd like" you offer but he tossed the blankets off himself reaching for his crutches and standing up on his own.

"Just go to sleep. I'll be in the living room cause I'm more comfortable there" he said not giving you a chance to reply before leaving.

The bed was cold and foreign ... you were really missing him.

Next morning when it was time to take him to physical, you couldn't find him in the living room but then you heard him from the guest bathroom. You walked in and there he was sitting on the floor throwing up into the toilet.

"It's okay, amor ... let it out" you sat besides him grabbing a wet cold cloth and placing it on his forehead while he cried closing the toiled at falling into your arms.

"I'm useless ... I can't even walk let alone play on that level again" he was wheezing from tears and you played his his hair letting him talk to you.

"Listen to me, cariño ... these are extremely hard times, but we're in it together. You need to start taking care of yourself if you want to recover fully, and you need to start talking to me about it. " you spoke and he listened like a scared child.

"I need you to start eating again, the pills are strong and that makes you sick. When it hurts, I need you to tell me so I can help. And when you need to cry, you do in on my shoulder okay?" you say and he nods sniffling while you kiss his forehead.

You helped him up towards the living room, preparing some warm soup to help his stomach pains before bringing the warming compress for his knee.

"I feel like a baby ..." he admits when you start feeding him soup and you smile nodding your head and kissing his lips a few times lovingly.

"You are my baby ... my stubborn baby. Now eat" you say and he finished the soup before you gave him medicine and checked on his physical appointment.

"It's not until four, so rest up ..." you tell him and he nods playing some random Barça Youth game on the screen before opening his arms towards you.

"Cuddles please?" he said adorably and your heart melted ... your boy was back!!!

"I thought you'd never ask again" you smile laying in his arms careful to keep his leg comfortable and he kissed the top of your head taking in your familiar scent.

"Did you sleep at all last night amor?" he said and you shook your head.

"I know you can't sleep without me besides you ...rest preciosa, I'll be right here" he whispered into your ear and you blushed nodding your head and slowly closing your eyes feeling secure in his strong embraces.

I really hope he's taking care of himself 🥺🥺🥺

#gavigif #gavi #pablo gavi x you #fc barça #fc barca #fc barcelona #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi #gavi x yn #gavi x you #gavi x reader #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira

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yuusishi · 1 year

Note

Hello, I hope you're having a great week. Could I request Vil, Malleus, and Leona being carried bridal-style by their tiny yet powerful s/o?

. . . TINY MENACE

pairings : Vil Schoenheit , Malleus Draconia , Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader (sep.)

genre : fluff , established relationship

cws/tws : student insults Reader in Vil's part but no actual insults are written

a/n : the third years are my sillies

Vil Schoenheit !!

Complains the entire time v1.

You two were in an argument with a student that was constantly throwing insults at you.

Usually Vil would make you ignore that student and continue walking, but that student just kept throwing hurtful words at you. Ones that basically demanded Vil's attention.

It was a back and forth between him and the student, they hurled multiple insults at you while Vil smartly countered them.

It was getting tiring for you.

You had the strength, so why don't you just lift your boyfriend and go somewhere else to cool off? And that you did.

Vil's face morphed from his usual neutral face to surprised as he felt his feet lift off the ground, the student stepping back in surprise as well.

"I'm getting too tired to deal with this! Bye!" you yelled.

Be ready to hear a lot of "Dear, set me down" "What a bold potato you are, now, set me down before anyone sees"

Nothing threatening, but you can definitely hear the panic in his voice.

And don't worry about the student, they won't bother you now after seeing your strength and no one will believe them when they say that you lifted Vil Schoenheit.

Malleus Draconia !!

To be honest, if you're able to lift Malleus Draconia while being way shorter than him, I'd be terrified of you.

You were both sitting in bed when you started a joke argument, this was one of the few times Malleus joined you in this.

"Stop making fun of my height before I throw you across the room" "My, wouldn't that be quite the spectacle"

Sitting up on the bed, Malleus stared at you curiously before you put your hands under his back and knees and easily lifted the nearly seven foot fae prince.

You didn't throw him across the room, of course.

Malleus would be lying if he said he didn't feel surprised at first, instinctively putting his hand on your shoulder for support. He didn't feel scared, though, he knew you would never harm him.

He just looked extremely babygirl at the entire thing.

He'd be surprised when you finally set him back down. He knew you were stronger than an average human even with your height, but this is the only time he experienced it.

Mal would be laying completely still in the bed for a few seconds to take in what just happened, not being used to just randomly getting picked off where he was laying.

(But really, who is).

It was a thrilling experience for him, surprise and thrill are emotions that he rarely gets to feel due to him either just being at NRC or in Briar Valley. Only getting to really go out into the world when impromptu trips like when they visited the Scalding Sands happen and on field trips.

Strangely enough, he liked that you made him experience a rather foreign emotion, even if he did get caught off guard like that. Just make sure not to pull this when Silver and Sebek are nearby.

Leona Kingscholar !!

Complains the entire time v2.

The teachers (mainly Professor Trein and Crewel) were starting to get annoyed that Leona wasn't attending classes yet again, they knew that you were close with him and that's how forcing fetching Leona to classes went from Ruggie's job to yours.

You knew he'd either be at the dorms or the botanical garden, so you tried your luck in the botanical garden first. Luck was on your side today for you found him on your first try, now getting Leona to come with you was the true test of luck.

Leona was definitely more biased towards you, that's undeniably obvious, but forcing him to wake up was something that even you had difficulty in doing.

You poked at the beastman and even pushed him a couple times, but he wouldn't budge, he remained deep asleep on the cold floor.

That's when you got an idea.

Leona's eyes shot open when he felt himself get lifted off the cool floor. He almost pushed whoever had the audacity to not only wake him up, but to also pick him up like a baby if he didn't recognize your scent.

"Oi Herbivore, what do you think you're doing" "I'm getting tired of the professors nagging me to pick you up, so why don't I just do just that".

He found it funny at first, that you were able to pick him up like he had featherlight weight despite your size.

Then the complaining came when you refused to let him down until you got to the classroom (even if he didn't even attempt to get down himself).

"Just put me down already" "I'm not a baby, I can walk by myself" "Then why don't you just jump down?"

Silence...

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland fluff #vil schoenheit x reader #vil x reader #malleus draconia x reader #malleus x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader

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kremlin · 2 months

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i figure most human behaviour that, not only doesn’t occur in other animals but has zero connection to animal behavior is basically distantly rooted in the known fear of inevitable death. let me be clear. cats and shit don’t know they’re gonna die. we do. we have thoughts. we know it’s coming. we think we’re gonna be rich, bullshit like that, most humans believe in magic and most humans doubt that math is a universal or consistent thing. total nonsense right. but everyone knows their ass is gonna die. before you write me off as some dumbass reciting basic 101 level university lectures just Trust Me I’m An Engineer. anyways. being human and dying are somewhat one in the same.

“if i do nonhuman things i can cheat the reaper.” short and sweet. if i can beat zelda faster than anyone i can outrun the reaper. and you know what, fuck it, i’m scared shitless of dying. it’s gonna hurt really bad no doubt. what if the brain destroyal process makes time slow down in my perception and it’s not just like five seconds of bleeding out or fire ant bites or however you go. Scary. so i’ll play along:

i am an average american man and i enjoy bad game runescape. it’s a computer game. MMO. kill monster get loot. sell what i don’t want to other players for gold. spamming chat with “SELLING BOWSTRINGS 200gp” for an hour “sucks” so the devs add a grand exchange where you can post buy/sell orders for a given item+price to maximize gameplay efficiency and minimize social interaction.

like any other MMO you can pay some sketchy website real money for ingame gold farmer by chinese gold farmers. totally against the rules. remember this

so the first thing that comes to any male aged 23-27 mind is “buy low sell high” basic bitch shit. no good. there’s a 5% tax that’ll wipe out your profit margin intended to eliminate this behavior (you’re supposed to friggen kill monsters). but everyone thinks they’re a genius and can beat the system and that there is a secret george soros style illuminati group that is holding the secrets, blah blah blah, whatever, and this comes as a coping mechanism after losing your shirt after trying to beat the market (success rate of 0%).

here is where people mostly quit thinking: if you do the math, which takes about ten minutes and can be done on one side of a sheet of paper with the most basic calculator, it’s easy to figure out that the amount of gold you’d need to play dirty (buy out all the available Feathers or Fire Runes or whatever) in order to corner the market would be so high that there is no possible way for a character to hold that much without having spent IRL money for gold. you’d get autobanned.

SO..finally, go on the ol’ www.reddit.com, and make a really really professional-to-professional sounding post advertising a “service”. Saturate the fuck out of it with dense but very real financial jargon. the “service” (which needs to be obscured enough with plausible and relevant language) is a hedging service aimed at make-believe market players who are buying and selling such huge amounts of items and gold (usually in anticipation of a game update that will speculatively introduce a sudden, dramatic, and capitalizable price change for some item). you need it to be as alien-sounding and foreign as possible but with enough believability and clarity that a handful of reddit jackasses will figure out what the fuck your post is about. whenever pressed further, act totally puzzled and make it very clear that this is not a service relevant to “individual entertainment-motivated” players or some shit. no matter what amount of gold anyone quotes at you, just act puzzled and if that amount is 1/1000th the amount one of your “normal” clients deal with. you need to do all of this extremely artfully. and by “you”, i’ve been meaning to write “me”. really lay it on thick that whatever you’re “doing” is totally unavailable to them and that you want zero to do with them.

so now theyre still mostly totally confused but enough is made clear that their interest is piqued. got my hook in em. some guy will copy/paste wikipedia shit in an obnoxiously long and pseudointellectual, contemptible but characteristically reddit guy style what you’re “selling” actually is in the most exhausting, hand-holdingest way to his fellow reddit gamers. with complete tone of authority.

inevitably one of them will put on their sherlock holmes hat and go deep undercover, emailing me posing as an interested party. bingo. now i get to really lay on the WTF and go off the rails asking about vouchers from One Of The Big Seven, but oh no, you can’t get one of them to vouch for you, that’s fine, it makes sense, we’re the only firm that deals with unvouched, that’s our market, well, one of them at least. Just give me a rough rundown of your entry criteria, dwell time, risk tolerance, fuckin “Gamma Ratio”, you know, all the basic stuff, and i’ll have the team generate a .xlsx for you to plug your data into to get a rough feel for what the final contract might be like.

(lololol) But REMEMBER, that excel sheet is seeded, output is fuzzed and salted and if you share it or try and sell it to our competitors, it will be fuzzy enough to be worthless to them but obvious to us who leaked what. this is the only way we’re able to integrate unvouched clients without untenable premiums and while managing our risk levels

blah blah blah blah, i go on and on and on and the guy on the other end is developing a scab from constant head-scratching. and that’s about the maximum real-world harm i’m willing to inflict. i know this sounds like an elaborate as fuck confidence scam but it isn’t. that shit makes me sick. i’d literally slam my arms in a car door before taking a cent from all this. hell, i’ll go out of my way to guarantee i don’t even piss anyone off or offend them or anything.

your guess is as good as mine but i do stuff like this constantly for anything i know well enough and the example i gave above is just a pretty low quality one i made up on the spot. this is a public blog after all.

anyways, cheers, hoping this saves me from dying or whatever the hell i was talking about before that could have probably been cut out. Namaste. Mahala.

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run-clever-boy · 3 months

Text

Talk to me - 12th Doctor

12 x Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minor DNI, Dirty talk, Oral (Fem receiving) Fingering, P in V sex, Unprotected, Swearing

Summary: On an adventure with the doctor, a man tries to take advantage of you in a rough area of a foreign market. The doctor is very protective, and it doesn’t help your obsessed with it.

A.N. - This is my first smut! All comment are appreciated, please be kind. All criticism is welcome, be kind and don’t eat pears! :)

You sat in the TARDIS console room, finally stopping to catch your breath after the exhausting few hours you had just endured. The Doctor decided he would take you to a market on a planet you couldn’t pronounce, which was true for most of the places he takes you. Thinks started getting scary when you got lost and ended up in that end of the market. (Similar to a red light district) You could see the nervousness in his face as men started walking up to you and asking for your price.

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“Is 500 interyen enough, sweetheart?” Asked a particularly insistent man who had gotten a hold of your arm.

“I’m not for sale” You bit out angrily, attempting to shake his arm off of you “just passing through.”

“Everything is for sale here darling” He said slyly, pulling you towards him.

“Not her” The doctor breathes out, barely above a whisper. He grabs you and rips the man’s arm off you. He then guides you out of the place with his hand on your lower back.

That’s when you looked at him only to be met with the rising fury in his eyes. Something you had only seen against the worst of enemies. The wrath of the time lord. You knew that this regeneration was extremely protective, and god did you love it.

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When you looked back on the interaction, the thing that stuck with you wasn’t the market, or the things you bought there, or even the man who grabbed you. It was him. His fiery eyes. His cologne. His protectiveness. Most especially, his baritone Scottish voice. The sound, deep and threatening, sent shivers down your spine. A demanding asset, but one that could whisper sweet nothings to you if he chose. He could captivate you by speaking the simplest things.

-Not her-

You crossed your legs to relieve some of the tension coiling in your stomach as you watched that very man walk back into the console room. He walked around the console on the side opposite of you and flipped a few levers. He walked around slightly to the right as if to approach you, but returned across from you. He gripped the edge of the console and dropped his head, scoffing.

“What’s that for?” You asked.

“He shouldn’t have touched you.” He said quickly and coldly, his head still dropped.

“It’s nothing we could help, doctor, it just-“

“No!” He cut you off, looking up into your eyes. “No man should lay a hand on you!” He raised his hands off the console and tugged his hair. Slowly walking towards where you sit. Power and rage emanating from him.

“Doctor please, it’s alright” You pleaded “Nothing happened to me, I’m fine.” You repeated. You were finding it extremely hard to concentrate with his voice protecting your honor.

“No, Y/n, I don’t think you get it.” He sighs “You aren’t a high dollar whore, you are one of the best beings in the universe. You deserve to be worshipped, not grabbed off the street” He continued, walking towards you still.

If you thought you couldn’t concentrate a minute ago, you had no hope now. His praises played over and over in your head. Your heartbeat quickened and your breaths became shallow. The ever growing ache in your stomach fighting the urge to escape as you squeezed your thighs together in hope of relief.

“That fucker should pay” He continued “He should know what he did, who he did it to. That you are… protected”

He had inched toward you so that he was standing about a foot away from where you sat. You looked into his eyes to see that fury once again, but this time there was something else. His eyes were enveloped with a darkening pupil. Your eyes were hooded with the weight of the lust behind them.

Before you knew what happened, he reached out, tangled his hand in your hair roughly. His lips met yours swiftly. Hard and passionate. You could feel all of his emotions in his searing touch and ragged movements. The breath had been knocked out of you. Your move your hands up and down the smooth fabric of his black suit that you adored. He only finally led up on his more-than-welcome assault to your lips when you needed to come up for air.

“You could’ve just said mine” You breathe against his lips, your faces still centimeters apart.

“What?” The doctor said between pants with audible confusion.

You smirk. “You said ‘He should know that you are… protected’, well you could’ve said” You paused, pulling your hips and body flush against his “that I am yours, or in context-”

“That you are mine. All mine” He cuts you off again.

Your breathing hitches in your throat, and he notices. Of course he does.

“Oh,” He smirks against your lips “someone likes being claimed, do they?”

“Only when it’s you” You quip back, prompting a dark chuckle from him. ‘and in that voice’ you think.

He leans down and brushes his lips against your ear. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You aren’t as good as you think you are at hiding those precious blushes and reactions when I speak.” He says in a particularly sultry tone, accentuating his accent just for you.

The melodic tone of his sexy voice has your eyes fluttering closed and your lips parting, soon being unable to bear the amount of tension.

“You’re right, He shouldn’t have touched what was mine.” He all but growled out, lust evident in his lowering voice.

He takes advantage of your leaned back head and leaves marks all over your neck. He made sure to make you whimper at every sensitive spot he could reach, leaving a soft bruise.

After recovering from the shock of the past few moments, you reach your hands underneath his suit coat and gently move to slide it off his body. He takes the jacket and throws it to the side dismissively, focused on you. He stands you up and kisses you more gently on the lips, with the hint of possession you craved. You stumbled backward and he pressed you against the console as he continued his trail of marks down your body. He would have to move clothing to reach other areas of your figure that he yearned to touch, but has yet to remove anything out of respect for you.

“Now darling, I know you aren’t holding back because of me, are you?” You say between pants. He looks back up into your eyes to see the suggestive smile dancing on your lips. He chuckles and hums lowly, sending a bolt of electricity up your body. You grabs his wrist and move it to touch the skin lying beneath your baggy t-shirt.

He grabs you by the waist underneath your shirt and kisses you gently on the lips. The touch was so… delicate. Contrary to the crime of passion he committed earlier. His lips left yours to stare in your eyes. He took a moment to admire the woman who had spent years following him to the ends of the universe with him. Y/n and her mad old man In a box.

"Well darling" he said in that tone designed to make you crazy "i want you to feel how much you deserve to be worshipped".

He raises your arms above your head and removes your t-shirt, casting it aside in the console room without caring where it landed. Immediately he attached his lips to your neck, kissing and biting slightly. He tilted your head back in order to reach the sweet spot under your jaw. His teeth scraped over it and you had to fight back a moan. Meanwhile, his hands wandered around the bare skin of your torso, settling on your back to unclasp your bra, casting it aside.

Not knowing what to do with yourself, you began to unbutton the white dress shirt he was wearing. Each button you unhooked revealed more of his pale figure. You removed the shirt and threw it aside to join the other pile of discarded clothing. You ran your hands all over the cool surface of his chest as he continued sucking and biting on the skin on your neck. He stepped back for a moment. He was just far enough that you could still feel the heat of his body as he looked you up and down.

"God you're beautiful, y/n"

He steps between your legs again, cups your face, and kisses you so tenderly. You press back into the kiss with a little more force, causing him to groan against your lips and move a hand to the back of your neck to steady himself. Your bare chests colliding. His voice playing over and over in your mind. You separate for a moment to rest your foreheads against each other with labored breaths.

“May I?” You say as your hands travel down his stomach the rest on his waistband, looking into his eyes for silent permission.

“Please… yes” He growled out between short breaths.

You trailed your hands over the fabric of his jeans, teasing him over the fabric. His breath hitched and he reached down and caught your hands.

“How about you first, darling?” His Scottish accent rolls the R right onto your skin and sends a major shiver up your spine. “I won’t last long if you tease me like that”

He pulls your hand up and kisses the back of it and drops it. He drops his hands to your jeans and unbuttons it with ease. He grabs the side of your pants and drops them around your ankles. You regain balance against the console and kick away the jeans to join the other long forgotten about garments.

He glides his hand under the hem of your underwear and slides his cool fingertips over your folds, noticing how wet he’s made you. He removes his hand and begins to pull the thin fabric down your legs slowly. He gets the fabric about to your knees before he kneels down to pull the fabric down your long legs, kissing the heated skin all the way to your ankles. After the garment is gone, he pulls his legs underneath him and sits up on his knees, eye level with where you want him most.

He puts his large hands on your hips to steady himself. He slides his hands down between your legs, pressing kisses to your outer thighs, pausing to look up at you through heavy eyelids. Suddenly, he slid his hands over your wetness once again. You silently praised him for his experience with the fairer sex because he managed to find your clit quicker than any man could find a light switch. Your head drops back against the console, your mouth gaping open at the sensation. He used his thumb to circle the bundle of nerves while his other fingers roamed curiously. You turned to see the glorious sight of the most powerful man in the universe, on his knees just to please you. You silently prayed you would get to return the favor at some point.

You locked eyes as he used his index finger to probe into your core, then quickly adding his middle when he was sure it wouldn’t cause you pain. You unconsciously slid a hand into his long silver hair, searching relentlessly for something to steady yourself. He steadily curls and uncurls his fingers inside your core, thrusting a bit further into you each time in hopes to reach your sweet spot. His slender and powerful fingers had no problem identifying the spot that made your toes curl and abusing it. Your legs started shaking from having to stand and withstand the pleasure he was giving you. He pressed kisses to your inner thigh, continuing his ministrations while guiding you leg onto his shoulder. He did the same to your other leg and he kept your hips firmly pressed into the wall so you wouldn’t fall.

He couldn’t help but watch the involuntary faces you made due to his manipulation. He withdrew his fingers from you and you whimpered at the loss of contact, tugging his hair slightly. He very quickly replaced where his fingers were with his skilled tongue. A loud moan escaped your lips and he groaned against your core, the vibrations only making the pleasure more unbearable.

“Fuck, you taste so fucking good, love.”

He added more pressure, combined with his tongue flicking back and forth against your clit and moving to tease your entrance. God his voice. You couldn’t imagine any other sound that turned you on as much as that. The pool of heat started to build slowly in your lower abdomen. He brought his thumb to tease your clit once again.

“Please… do-don’t stop. I’m s-so close, doctor”

He continued at a feverish pace, steadying your figure with his hands having a tight grip on your thighs that were draped over his shoulders. You could feel yourself get to the very cusp. Your vision started blurring. Mixes of moans, pleas, and groans streamed out of your mouth. The white hot feeling fast approaching when it all of a sudden hits like a freight train. The most guttural moan left your mouth, the pure want and relief leaving your body. He moved your legs back to their original positions, being careful to keep your weight help up. He licked you clean through your orgasm and kissed his way back up to leave a searing kiss on your lips.

“Do you have… a bedroom, doctor?” You say when you have regained enough consciousness to form sentences.

“I’ll lead the way”

He grabs your hand and slowly navigated the TARDIS hallways in an attempt to find his room, being careful to make sure you can keep up with your shaky footing. Eventually, he stops at an unassuming dark blue door, and opens it. Inside are piles upon piles of books and his other belongings. To be honest, you could look at the collection later, but right now there was something else on both of your minds. He closes the door behind him and kisses you again. He backs you up until you hit the beam. You crawled onto the bed and laid down below him submissively. He crawls on top of you and doesn’t break a string of curses for anything. He unbuttoned his pants and discarded them, along with the boxer underneath. He was one hell of a man. His lean figure and his pale skin. You reach out and stroke him, observing the look of pleasure on his face.

“Do you need more time?” He asked, clearly aching with anticipation, but still values your safety and concerns over anything.

“No, please doc, I need you”

The few words was all the permission he needed to coax himself into your tight core. The sounds that came out of him were unholy. As were the sounds he forced out of you. He stayed inside so you could adjust to his size. When he saw your face distort in pleasure, he took the hint to start moving in and out. He filled you so completely. The passion between you made it feel like two pieces of a puzzle, finally fitting together. You longed for every part of him you could reach. Skin gliding across skin. Fingers caught in your lovers hair. Nails scratching up and down his scarred back. The sweet nothings drove you crazy.

“You’re mine”

“You feel so good”

“You are my universe, and every star in it”

“Oh, y/n”

Most of all you loved the love letters he spoke in Gallifreyan that you couldn’t understand. The mystery of the language and pronunciations fascinated you. The tone and his admiration made your senses heighten and all the pressure build quickly once again. You could feel the doctor start to tremble, knowing he’s doing everything he can to hold back until you were satisfied. He leaned down and nipped at the skin underneath your jaw, eliciting the loudest moans you thought you could muster. He picked up your hips and started thrusting into you sloppily, now hitting both your clit and g-spot. You couldn’t even warn the doctor before you came, the euphoria taking over every spot of your vision, leaving you seeing stars. He thrust a few more times lazily and you could feel the tension snap. He spilled into you, holding you tightly as he steadied himself.

He pulled himself out of you and layer next to you. You could see the layer of sweat covering his body. You leaned over and rested your head on his chest.

“I’m yours” You breathed against his chest

“Y/n?”

“Yes doctor?”

“I want to make sure that you know… well” He hesitated then sighed “That I love you”

You looked into his eyes “I love you too doctor, never forget it” He sighed a sigh of relief this time.

“I really liked it when you said that”

“I’ll do it more often, darling. Just for you”

You were lulled to sleep by the soothing sounds of the TARDIS humming on the chest of the doctor. Your doctor. Limbs tangled with limbs, draped it the light of a thousand stars. All was as it should be.

Now on AO3

#12th doctor #twelfth doctor #twelve #doctor who #peter capaldi #doctor who smut #smut #Twelve x reader #the twelfth doctor #twelfth doctor x reader

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itoshiexx · 10 months

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mi vida

synopsis: sae never thought someone could become his life, but that changed when you came.

pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 749 | warnings: established relationship, fluff

notes: welcome back to "things i wrote on a whim when my boss wasn't at the office"!! apparently i write a lot better in english without much planning, so yeah. this idea came to me based on a personal experience, since i call my boyfriend "minha vida" (which is the same for "mi vida"/"my life" in portuguese) and i never really thought i could consider someone to be my life before him.

i really really hope you like it, and i wanna thank you all so much for all the love you've given to Unworthy (but chosen), every note and follower made me super happy! <3

and also, i'm so sorry if my description of the spanish culture is not accurate and for any english mistakes!

during his time in spain, sae learned a lot of things. mainly, how to improve his soccer career even more, striving to become the best in the world after already being the best in his country.

he was a genius, of course, so it wasn’t really hard to learn the language or get acquainted with the city of madrid, which was a lot warmer than japan — in many ways. however, it was really fucking hard to get used to the customs of the spanish people and its culture, considering it was so different from the japanese. they were extremely welcome, and sae was anything but. if anything, he was even more closed than typical japanese people.

in spain, people were always greeting each other with a kiss on each cheek, showing off bright smiles and making conversation with strangers. friends talked loudly among each other, giving hugs and always touching somehow. the concept of personal space? totally nonexistent. in short, it was weird.

but nothing was weirder than couples.

the concept of love was already foreign to sae. he didn’t understand how a feeling could envelop one so much and make it forget about the rest of the world. he didn’t know how such an abstract thing, with no sense of logic whatsoever, could be so overwhelming to the point of taking one’s life completely, until all you could see, think and feel was your significant other.

most of all, he couldn’t fathom how someone could become your life.

“te amo, mi vida,” was what he used to hear an old couple say to each other. they were the owners of sae’s favorite restaurant, a small little place in the suburbs of Madrid, and always treated him with a kindness he didn’t deemed himself worthy of.

at first, he wasn’t able to comprehend what the sentence meant. he could barely write it on google translate to try to get its meaning, and he didn’t really care enough. though, as the time went by and sae became more fond of the couple, he eventually gathered the courage to ask the woman about it. and he was very surprised to hear the answer.

“it means ‘i love you, my life’,” she said, smiling from ear to ear and handing a glass of salted kombucha tea to sae. it was one of the reasons he adored the place so much — it was the only restaurant he found that served his favorite drink.

the older itoshi could only stare, dumbfounded, and mumble, “…why?”

the woman laughed at the boy’s naiveté. “why, you ask? because that’s what he is to me.”

sae only stared in silence, too stunned to speak.

“i… i don’t understand,” he confessed. it sounded silly, and kind of pathetic, but at that moment he didn’t really care. the woman gave another smile, this time an understanding countenance, and placed her wrinkly hand on his shoulder.

“you will understand one day, boy. and when your person comes, make sure to bring them here, right? i’d like to meet them!”

the soccer player wanted to tell her that it would never happen. that the itoshi sae had no time for foolish things like love, and he most certainly would never love someone so much to the point of seeing them as his life. his life was soccer, and his goal was to become the best in the world.

there was nothing else.

oh, how he bit his tongue.

it was at the age of twenty two when he entered the restaurant once again, and this time, not alone. you were walking by his side, with your hand intertwined in his, chatting excitedly while he just listened. a small smile was on his face, and his features were impossibly soft, in a way they only got around you.

you, who were light in the darkness, who were comfort after a long day of practice, who was the one he loved most. you, who was the definition of home in every sense of the word. the only one that could make his heart swell so much it made it hard to breathe.

he pulled your chair for you to sit like a true gentleman, and sat right next to you, always in need to touch you somehow. a hand was placed on your thigh while the other one opened the menu. and he turned to you, voice gentle like you could break:

“so, what would you like, mi vida?”

you, who was his life.

#bllk imagines #bllk x reader #bllk sae #itoshi sae x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae x y/n #itoshi sae #sae itoshi #blue lock x reader #blue lock drabbles #blue lock fluff #blue lock #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi x y/n #blue lock fanfiction #blue lock sae #sae x reader #sae fluff

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thatdeadaquarius · 1 year

Text

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY.

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech.

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…"

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-"

And it just keeps happening, lol

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth…

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!!

They're amazed and oh,

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." )

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#genshin sagau ideas #sagau #isekai #genshin god reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral reader #genshin sagau #genshin isekai #going feral #genshin brainrot #genshin au

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nataliawrites · 1 year

Text

Sweeter Than Revenge // Toto Wolff

Toto Wolff x Verstappen!Reader

Toto Wolff was a perfectionist. He demanded nothing but the best. He refused to settle for second or third. He knew what he wanted and he knew how to get what he wanted.

That’s where you come in. Some would call you a jack of all trades. Despite your relatively young age, you had graduated at the top of your Oxford class with a Doctorate in Engineering Science — specializing in automotive and mechanical engineering — and a Masters in Strategy and Innovation. Your thesis on exploiting friction and wind resistance instead of battling against it caught the eye of numerous car manufacturers, all wanting to snatch up the mind behind the innovate approach that could revolutionize the industry.

But when Formula 1 teams joined the fray for your employment, your mind was made up the second you saw the email from the Mercedes-AMG Petronas team principal himself. The exorbitant salary, company car, and executive position Toto was offering you were benefits but they paled in comparison to the opportunity to do the one thing you had been waiting for since you permanently left home at 18 years old — prove the people that you had once called family wrong.

Growing up as the eldest child of Jos Verstappen and half-sister to Max Verstappen was anything but sunshine and rainbows. Constantly in the shadow of your younger brother. Always ignored in favor of your father’s golden son. Never receiving approval or the affection you desired after the loss of your mother. Always an afterthought to racing.

When you moved to an entirely different country, merely a teenager yourself, the only communication you received from your family was a text message from Jos reminding you “not to embarrass the family name” a few months after you started university. So you powered forward, completely alone in a foreign country and forced to work two jobs on top of school, but finding solace in your studies.

Now, as you hit send on your response to Toto Wolff, all of your struggles were going to pay off.

Not long after, you were invited to formally meet the team and sign all the necessary paperwork in the beginning of the offseason. You made the drive to Brackley and smoothed your power suit before entering the team’s technology center. A composed receptionist took your name before guiding you down the halls lined with moments and memorabilia from team history and leaving you in front of a door with a steel “Toto Wolff” nameplate on it.

You took a moment to collect yourself and rapped your knuckles against the solid wooden door, turning the handle when a deep accented voice from within the office told you to enter. The Austrian, who painted an imposing picture behind his desk, rose to greet you with a firm handshake. You quickly realized that he was tall and fit and, despite how hard you tried to keep your mind professional, extremely handsome.

“Dr. Verstappen, it’s great to finally meet you,” Toto motioned for you to sit down across the desk from him.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Wolff. I am so grateful for this opportunity.”

“The pleasure is ours. We are very excited to have you onboard this coming season. And, please, call me Toto.”

“Then you must call me Y/N. And while we’re on the topic of names, I’m sure you’ve noticed mine.”

Toto leaned back in his leather chair, “a funny coincidence to be sure. I hope that doesn’t mean you cheer for Red Bull.”

You hid a wince at his joking tone, “about that … it’s not exactly a coincidence. Max Verstappen is my brother. Half-brother if you want to get technical.”

You continue as you see him about to speak, “let me assure you that this will have no negative impact on my work with you. If anything, it will make me work harder towards the team’s success. I don’t exactly go around making this public knowledge, but my childhood was not the best and I haven’t spoken to my brother or my father since I first moved out at 18. They never supported me or showed that they cared about me. I’m doing this for myself. I’m going to help Mercedes win to prove them wrong.”

Your heart pounded out of your chest as Toto impassively stared into your soul. “I believe you.” A breath you didn’t even realize you were holding rushed out in relief. “I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Jos Verstappen and what you’ve told me does not exactly come as a surprise.”

“Thank you, Toto. I promise you won’t regret it. We’ll get Mercedes back on top.”

“I am counting on it. Welcome to the team.”

You spent the rest of the off-season working more often than not, applying the research your Doctorate was built on to the car and optimizing it as much as possible. You spent your days working closely with the engineering team and both Lewis Hamilton and George Russell, gathering as much data as possible before you flew out to pre-season testing. Your evenings were usually taken up by Toto, the both of you workaholics who stayed far past the time that everyone else had left, typically discussing strategy and your mutual loathing of Red Bull over dinner that was ordered into the office.

The attraction that you felt upon first meeting your boss grew more and more as you got to know him better. While his handsomeness certainly didn’t hurt, his intelligence and passion truly did it for you. His age didn’t bother you — boys your age certainly left something to be desired — but you refused to be known as the woman who slept her way to the top (despite how unfair and inaccurate that would be) in a heavily male dominated field. So you used all your willpower to stay professional and prayed that Toto didn’t notice when you would gaze at his lips or his forearms or his chest in that famous button up shirt for a bit longer than strictly appropriate.

There was no way that Toto Wolff could possibly reciprocate your feelings so your resolved to keep them tightly bottled up.

He had a different idea.

You were in Toto’s office to mark your last dinner before flying to Bahrain for pre-season testing, lightly talking over a bottle of wine, when he abruptly set down his glass and looked resolutely down at you. “Tell me if I’ve misread the situation,” he pushed your plates to the side, uncaring, as he reached out to pull you across the desk and towards him.

You seized up in shock but melted as he crashed his lips to yours.

You gathered what little common sense you had remaining to detach yourself from him, “Toto, we can’t.”

His eyes went guarded, “Do you not feel the same way?”

“No but-“

“Then why?”

“Because you’re my boss! Because even the thought of this is unprofessional! Because it can ruin both of us!”

“But you want this.” He said it as a statement.

“Of course I do,” you deflate. “But we can’t-“

“And I want this too. I want you. You are strikingly intelligent and incredibly beautiful. We are both consenting adults and the team does not have a fraternization policy. There is no reason we must suffer in restraint.”

He takes both of your hands, engulfing then with his large ones before continuing, “you have been taking care of yourself for so long. Now, let me take care of you.”

You were extremely thankful the next morning that you accepted Toto’s offer to join him on his private jet instead of flying commercial charter with the rest of the team. At least this way he had time to drop you off at your apartment so you could pick up your luggage on the way to the airport without having to rush.

The other perks were pretty nice too. If you had told your younger self that you would be joining the Mile High Club with Toto Wolff on a private jet heading to Bahrain for the start of the Formula 1 season, you would have laughed in your own face (and then tried to work out the physics of how you time traveled to see your younger self in the first place).

Once in Bahrain, you jumped into the beautiful chaos that is the F1 season head first. Mercedes started off on a much higher note than last year and the mood around the garage remained light as the team kept the momentum going. It quickly became common to see 1-2 Mercedes finishes or at the very least both Mercedes drivers on the podium as the optimized car and your unorthodox strategies gave them the extra edge.

You and Toto tried to steal as many moments together as you could away from the hurricane of work that sometimes swallowed you up. Soon, neither of you particularly trying to keep your progressing relationship a secret, the rest of the team became aware that you were together. Despite your initial fears of backlash, you were met with support and the worst you got from the team was gentle teasing about managing to tame the infamous Toto Wolff.

As the season unfurled, neither your father nor brother had noticed you working for their rival. While photos of you with Toto, your drivers, and generally around the team did circulate, neither of them made the connection between the woman in Mercedes gear and the daughter and sister they cut off years ago. You ignored the traitorous pang in your heart every time Max or Jos’ eyes glossed over you, not realizing who they were looking at.

Or at least they didn’t until the FIA Prize Giving ceremony.

Toto was attending to receive the Constructors’ Championship trophy while your drivers collected their respective Drivers’ Championship and second-place trophies and you had come along as his date. While making the rounds on Toto’s arm at the gala after the ceremony, Max happened to overhear Toto introducing you to an acquaintance and your brother’s head snapped up at the sound of your name.

Max stared at the woman with Toto. It couldn’t be … but she had the same face shape and nose shape and hair color he remembered. His feet moved towards you before he could help himself, “Y/N?”

You heard the familiar voice interject from behind you and steeled yourself before turning around, “Max.”

“Is it really you?”

“Last time I checked.”

Toto had managed to excuse himself from his conversation and joined the awkward reunion between the estranged Verstappen siblings.

“Verstappen,” he nodded a curt greeting.

Your brother paused, looking between you and Toto, “wait-wait. You and him? You’re together?”

“For a while now,” you gained some satisfaction from the mix of emotions, none of them pleasant, that crossed Max’s face. “I’m surprised you didn’t notice earlier. I mean, Toto and I did only meet because I work for Mercedes. I’ve been around the paddock every race.”

You didn’t notice the approach of your father until you looked at Max’s wide eyes frozen on someone behind you.

“How dare you! To go against your own family? To actively work against your brother?”

“Hello, father. How are you? I’ve been great! It’s only been a little under a decade since I’ve heard from you.”

“Why you little who-”

Toto stepped in front of you before your father could finish what was sure to be a very complementary sentence, “Verstappen, I would stop it right there if I was you.”

“I always knew Y/N was an embarrassment but even I didn’t expect for her to become a gold digger going after men her father’s age.”

Toto came to your rescue once again, “she’s far from a gold digger. Y/N is Mercedes’ Executive Engineer and Strategist. She’s a large reason why we beat your son all season long.”

“What she is,” Jos spit out, “is a shame to the Verstappen name.”

Toto resolutely held you close, “then it’s a good thing she won’t be a Verstappen for much longer.”

Taking the opportunity, you raised your entwined hands to show off the diamond ring that graced your ring finger since Toto took you on vacation to the Seychelles and surprised you with a beautiful proposal a week ago.

“Max, Jos … we’ll be sure not to invite you to the wedding.”

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dorarakei · 15 days

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"supido" - streetracer! geto x flagbearer! reader x streetracer! gojo

i once posted this plot in my blog lol it took me almost half a year to post it

cw: suggestive, i have no idea about street racing so i might be wrong writing about it, and it's my first writing after hiatus.. so it might be messy!

streetracer! geto who goes by the name "black beta".

the name is not foreign within tokyo's street racing world. along with gojo aka the "white beta"- they both easily rise to fame within the community due to their unparalleled skills and prime choice of cars which would always earn loud cheers and gasps from the crowd during annual car meets. some would even say that it's because of their good looks, too- it certainly a plus point that makes the betas popular for sure.

no one can deny, however, that their dynamics is what truly has become the main appeal to the audience.

it's one of their attractions, after all. the extreme competitiveness within the pair is what makes a race truly a race. they don’t and never play around when it’s time for them to show themselves off in the arena. whichever competition they showed their faces on, it’s already apparent who'll dominate the ranks. the only question that matters each time a new race is about to begin is: which beta is going to win this time?

along with the praises of their abilities and the never ending debate on who’s going to dominate who, you’d sometimes hear other things muttered by the spectators quietly.

you see, ever since gojo and geto became prominent street racers in the country, countless admirers have continued to flock around them.. desperately seeking their attention to experience a night or even just a few minutes of heaven with one of the betas.

but those who seek heaven must know its pitfalls. in this case the betas are so used to the spotlight as well as the crowd’s desire for them, and will not hesitate to ditch someone should they be bored of their attention.

you’d often hear sobs muffled and see a pair of teary eyes amongst the eager crowds- cheering for the betas to start the race while they’re busy flirting through rolled windows with god knows who.

just like others, you’d often question who will finally be able to tame them. certainly not me, you think, it’s just impossible.

but you don’t mind. honestly, you feel you’ve savored enough heaven just by feeling the betas piercing gaze raking your body and savoring their cocky grins behind the wheel as you warm yourself up to wave the flag in front of the whole crowd. even though it would disappear in a second they dash through the road.

little did you know, the betas now realize that they have something new to fight for besides rankings and cars: you.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader smut #gojo smut #suguru geto x reader #geto x reader smut #suguru geto #geto x reader #jjk geto #jjk smut #geto suguru x reader #geto suguru smut

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inlovewithpandora · 1 year

Note

Hey love💕 I was wondering if you could write a oneshot where neteyam finds out reader harms herself?

Thank for this request anon💗! I hope it meets your expectations!

If anyone has any requests leave them in my asks!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Navigation || Taglist

Part 1 (here) || Part 2 || Part 3

This story was inspired by the song above^

- I'm tired -

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem! Omatikaya gf! reader

Both characters are 19!

Warnings: self harm ( very descriptive) suicide ideation, attempt, extreme angst, slight physical/ emotional abuse

If your not comfortable with this type of writing please click off

Word count: 1,645

You and Neteyam just recently started dating a few weeks ago. The first time you saw him it made a feeling that was foreign to you course through your veins. When you meet him and got to know him he made you feel an emotion you've never felt before, Happiness.

Every time he came by your pod to whisk you away to somewhere special in the forest you felt nothing but pure bliss.

But when you weren't around you him you felt melancholic, lonely, depressed, and every other negative feeling under the sun. The environment you lived in was toxic and it was ripping a piece of you away every day.

You were trying to ignore the pain and heartache but it wasn't working. you were trying to find healthy ways to cope like weaving or hunting but it wasn't working. The only thing that would help is cutting, making small slits into your navy blue skin that would release crimson-colored liquid. Watching the blood drip down your arm is the only thing that would help you feel better and would make the pain stop.

You lived at home with your father and he was an alcoholic. When you were born your mother died while giving birth to you and that was the last day your father showed any positive emotion. He abhorred you for taking the love of his life away and he made sure you knew it every single day.

You were sitting in your part of the pod trying to avoid your father's alcoholic rage but you couldn't because he decided to come find you and spew his hatred all over you.

He came and pulled the curtain back which revealed you sitting on your woven mat. As he was towering over your small frame you could smell the alcohol seeping from his pores, "What are doing in here?!"

"N-nothing father I'm just making a necklace for someone", A couple of days ago you and Neteyam were sitting by a pond and he told you how he needed a new necklace because he lost his other one so you decided to make him one.

"Who is it for?! Is it for that boy you've been running around with?!" He yelled which startled you. You hated when he yelled because it always made you cry. Instead of responding you just sat there silently looking down at the floor which told your father he was correct about his assumption.

He let out a dark chuckle before continuing to yell at you, "He is only using you for your body, do you think someone could really like you?! That someone would want to actually mate with you one day?! You have to be the dumbest na'vi around to think that. Look at you, you're pitiful. Always crying and sulking around this house. You're always cutting your arm like some deranged freak! What boy would ever want someone like that?!" He yelled with venom coming out of his mouth with each word that escaped his lips

All you could do is break down into a crying fit. You felt like your father was right, why would someone want to be with someone who felt like their only escape was harming themselves? You felt like whatever you had going on inside of you could rub off on Neteyam and you didn't want to corrupt him with this sickness.

Your father saw drops of water flowing down your face and it only made him angrier, "WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR? HUH? THERE IS NO REASON FOR YOU TO BE SHEDDING ANY TEARS! IF ANYTHING I SHOULD BE THE ONE CRYING, YOU TOOK MY MATE FROM ME! EVER SINCE YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE IT HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT HELL!" He shouted at you furiously

He crouched down to your level and harshly grabbed your bicep, yanking you up so you could stand on your feet. He then extended your arm, looking at all the scars that ran down your skin. He began to speak but this time he wasn't yelling, he was calm but you could still hear the maliciousness in his tone.

"I wish you were the one that died that day, not your mother. Next time you decided to cut yourself make sure you finished the job and go live among Eywa. I can't stand to have you living in my house and making me live in despair." He let go of your arm and threw it to your side. He lifted his alcoholic beverage to his lips and began imbibing enormous amounts of it before walking outside the pod.

As you stood there with sobs emerging from your throat you decided that you were tired. You were tired of your father's emotional and sometimes physical abuse, you looked down at your arm and could see a purple outline on your arm from his tight grip.

You were tired of feeling like this, you need the pain and heartache to stop. You needed this feeling of sorrow to go away. You looked around your pod and grabbed your knife and put it in its sheath and grabbed your shawl and wrapped it around your arms and began walking to Neteyam's Family pod.

You wanted to talk to him and tell him how you felt about him before you went to see the Great Mother.

As you walked you heard a group of girls talking about you as you walked by, "Look at her, She looks awful" one of the girls said while laughing

"Yeah I'm surprised she even came out of her pod, she's been locked up in there for almost a week" one of the other girls chimed in

They continued saying all these nasty things about you and it made you feel even worse than before. Neteyam was in the tree above, looking down at the event that was unfolding. He watched you run away to a deeper part of the forest. He immediately climbed down the tree and began to follow you to see if you were okay.

He hasn't seen you in almost a week and he's been worried about you. He came by your pod to try and talk to you but every time he came your father sent him away.

As you were running you didn't know where you going until you found yourself in front of a small pond. You sat down and looked at your reflection in the water, as you looked at yourself you couldn't even recognize the person you saw anymore. It was like you changed into a totally different person. You looked at yourself and felt disgusted, you felt like you looked repulsive. As you looked at your puffy eyes and the dark circles around them you felt so much pain and agony.

You pulled your knife out of its sheath and pressed it again your skin. You knew by doing this it would make you feel so much better, you would finally be at peace. You could finally see your mother and live among your ancestors.

As you were about to penetrate your skin and create a gash so deep that it would bleed out until you took your last breath, you heard someone call out your name.

"Y/N!" Neteyam called out. You turned and saw so many emotions on his face, he looked at you horrified by what he saw you doing to your body.

As you looked at him all you could is cry even harder, "Neteyam please leave"

You didn't want him to see you in this state, you didn't want him to see you so broken.

"Y/N what's wrong? What's going on?" Neteyam asked you as he sat down next to you. As he looked at your arm he saw multiple old scars on your arm and a bruise on your bicep, as you followed his gaze all you could do was apologize to him even though you didn't know why you were doing it.

"I-I’m sorry Neteyam I just can't handle the pain anymore, I'm tired of feeling so miserable. I'm always crying and I'm so weak. Nobody likes me not even my own father, the person who's supposed to love me the most. I feel like I'm going crazy, I feel like I'm a freak" you told him as you let out sobs in between every few words

"I don't want to live Neteyam. I want to be with Eywa where I can feel peace, I need to feel peace."

As you rambled without properly thinking clearly, Neteyam was horrified by your words. "Baby, why would you say that?" Neteyam asked you as his voice broke a little. He hated hearing you speak about yourself so harshly and it broke his heart to hear that you wanted to end your life

"Because it's true! Every single thing I said was true"

"Y/N you are not a freak, you are beautiful and I love you with every fiber in my body. Whatever is going on with your father I will help you figure it out. I will be there for you and help you through these feelings until they have faded away. I will be here for you always, but you can't leave me. I want you to stay here with me so we can grow old together, Okay?" he talked to you with so much conviction in his voice some tears slowly streamed down his face

"Okay, Neteyam" is all you could muster up and say. You wrapped your arms around his body and clung to him. He embraced you and kissed you on the cheek " These feelings won't last forever, we'll get through this together" As you laid your head on his shoulder for the first time you felt like someone cared about you. As you laid in his embrace you felt a feeling you'd been longing for, something you wanted for a long time.

Love & Peace

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I hope you enjoyed💗!

Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are appreciated💗!

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