#for me personally that was one of the worst streams I've ever had so far
Text
Miller [Streamer Yan] and Vtuber Darling that's a regular 110% human being just like them :). Darling's model is pretty average, yet cute looking, but it's their gimmick that really pulls people in.
"Ah, I'm a little thirsty. Excuse me while I drink water with my human mouth... which I have only one of."
"Do you like when I play horror games? I. Like. Them. Too. But I prefer the ones where the main character befriends the monsters at the end :)"
"Oh... Is that really what people look like instead?... I. Am full of meat too. We have so much more in common than I thought."
Quite the oddball, but their chat finds their behaviors adorable. Miller does too. They're over the moon when Darling accepts their friend requests and even more thrilled when darling mentions Miller is their first companion and streaming buddy. They've never been able to make friends before and was lonely because of it, but since they've gained a following it feels like they're never alone.
There are a few hiccups on the day Miller and Darling first stream together. Static drowns out darling's voice when they call and Miller can faintly hear what sounds like...purring? in the background. Darling apologies for the strange sounds once they're finally able to get through to Miller - their pet cat was happy they finally made a friend.
Miller is crushing hard from day one. They've never seen darling's face, but if they're half as cute as their voice they might be too far out of Miller's league. They've tried scrolling through darling's social media pages for photos of them, but all they were able to find was old selfies taken in the worst lighting imaginable... Pretty blurry too.
Darling likes Miller too. They feel as though they can trust the streamer. Trust them with anything.
"Mill...er? I. Have a confession."
"I'm all ears- Lay it on me, baby."
"Can you promise? Promise. Not to be.. Afraid?"
"Afraid? Who'd ever be scared of someone like you? You don't really scream serial killer from the conversations we've had so far."
"If that's is the case... Join the call. See. Me. I. Trust you, Miller."
Call? Oh, darling invited them to a video call. It's crazy that it's the first one after all the time, but Miller respects their privacy....a little. Miller can't see much of anything when they join in. Small, white lights greet them shrouded by the darkness of darling's room as their end connects. Looking closer, Miller realizes....
Those are eyes.
"I'm. So sorry for deceiving you.... and everyone else. Miller.... Thank you for being so kind to me. I couldn't lie to you anymore. I'm sorry. I understand. If you hate me now ...."
"Hate you?.... I'm trying to figure out when our first date is-"
"Ah?"
"You like pork chops? Steak? I remember you talking a lot about meat in earlier streams. I like a person who can really eat, y'know?"
Are they.... flirting? Darling is vaguely aware of the practice. Miller can see them right? Why are they acting so nonchalant about their appearance?
"Hm? It's still you, isn't it? A few more eyes or rows of teeth don't change the fact you're one of the chillest people I've met online. Cutest too. Even now.... So, when can we meet up?"
Miller is strange.... but Darling is strange too. They're happy they met them.
-
Miller: So you're telling me you've been this sexy monster person this entire time?
Vtuber Darling: i... suppose?
Miller: And you choose that boring ass design as your avatar?! Actually that was probably better for me personally - weeds out some of the competition.
#Miller my oc#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere oc#yandere insert#yandere blurb#yandere streamer#monster reader
900 notes
·
View notes
Text
This was never supposed to happen
Natalie Scatarccio x f!reader
Summary: Nat's asshole of a dad ruins everything
Warnings: not proofread, angst, homophobia (might have gone a bit far idk 🫢), modern au
Part 1 of 2
_
Music blasts through Nat's speaker as you lay on her bed, spread out comfortably as she sits on the floor scrolling on her phone.
10 minutes go by with the comfortable silence before you decide to put down your phone and finally speak up, not completely sure if this was a good idea.
"Hey Nat.. Yk how I told you that I kinda haven't kissed anyone before?" You pause for a second "Well I've been talking to this.. Person for a while and it's starting to get serious... So I was just wondering if maybe you could, idk - this is probably dumb but, teach me?"
You say quickly, staring up at the ceiling and expecting the worst.
"Okay"
"..Okay?"
"Yeah okay, I'll teach you dumbass" She smirks and crawls onto the bed, propping herself up on her elbows to hover over you.
Nat was always quite comfortable with who she was, openly talking about her experiences with men, while you on the other hand were much more reserved. So you weren't necessarily surprised when she said yes (since it was only going to be two girls practicing after all), but you still feel your hands get sweaty resting on your stomach as you stare right back at her, glancing down at her lips just to notice the shadow of her smirk still imprinted on her face.
"So um, what should I do? " you say awkwardly, fidgeting with your sweater as you struggle to not look away from the girl who's face is now merely inches away from yours.
"Just follow my lead okay?" She responds in a surprisingly soft voice before finally leaning in to where your lips ghost over each other, sighing slightly before gently pressing your lips together. One of her hands slowly creeping up to cup your face like she's afraid you might break if she adds too much pressure.
"Is this okay?" She pulls back to ask, her face flushed and her lips redder than usual as she scans your face for any discomfort.
"Yeah, yes, you can keep going" you respond quickly before pulling her back into you, unable to describe the tingling sensation fluttering through your entire body as your lips meet again in a slightly rougher matter, pent up need for your friend that you didn't know you had suddenly crashing down at you all at once.
"Shit Nat" you groan as she bites down on your lip, both of you forgetting that this was only supposed to be practice as her hands-
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE"
You quickly pull apart, your eyes flying open as you try to scramble away from Nat as her father stands in the now open doorway.
"WHAT KIND OF FAGGOT FILTH HAVE YOU BROUGHT INTO MY HOUSE GIRL??" He yells, pointing a dirty finger towards Nat as his other fist grips onto a half full bottle of alcohol, his disgusting breath seeping through the room as spit fly's out of his mouth.
Nat doesn't know how to respond, seemingly too shocked to answer as her dad continues shouting at her.
"ANSWER ME FREAK! YOU WEREN'T RAISED TO COMMIT SUCH SINS. YOU'RE A FUCKING DISGRACE YOU HEAR ME?? A DISGRACE.
NOW GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE BEFORE I DECIDE TO SHOOT YOU AND YOUR GOOD FOR NOTHING FAG FRIEND"
He finishes, his last sentence barely having left his mouth before you run outside, your heart beating faster than it ever has and tears now streaming down your terrified face.
You turn back towards the trailer as you suddenly hear glass shattering, all your other worries almost forgotten as all you can think about is if Nat is okay.
You were about to go back inside when Nat storms out the door, slamming it behind her as she steps forward.
You weren't exactly sure what to say as you look at her, you'd never seen her in such a vulnerable state before. The usual cool and confident Natalie now replaced with a nearly crying girl, her hair disheveled, her shoulders shaking from the suppressed tears and one of her hands bleeding from a deep cut that you could only assume came from the shattering sound that come from inside the house mere seconds ago.
As she tries to hold in her tears she refuses to meet your eye, her expression changing between hatred, embarrassment, shame and more as she furiously wipes her face with her sleave.
"Nat? Are you o-"
"Go."
"What?? Your hand clearly needs medical attention, we can go back to mine"
"Just go."
"Stop being stupid Nat, I can't fucking leave you like this" you say and step towards her, anger starting to creep into your voice as you can't understand why she's acting this way towards you.
"I SAID GO" she suddenly shouts. "you heard what he said dyke, this was clearly a mistake and it was never supposed to happen!"
Her bloodshot eyes finally meet yours again and all you can see in them is hate and despair, tears spilling out as she bites her bottom lip hard before she looks down at her feet, immediately regretting everything she just said.
"Get the fuck out of here y/n" her voice breaks.
"Nat.." is all your broken voice manages to squeak out as your eyebrows furrow, the tightness in your chest feeling as though it might suffocate you as you finally turn away from her, walking away from who you thought was your best friend only 15 minutes ago - now feeling unsure that you'll ever see her the same again.
_
a/n: I'm too impatient to wait for the poll to finish, also I can't decide if this should have a sad or happy ending 😜 SEND REQUESTS, MY INBOX IS BASICALLY THE SAHARA DESERT RN CHAT 😢😢😢
#Spotify#natalie scatorccio angst#natalie scatorccio#natalie yellowjackets#nat scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#nat scatorccio#yj#yellowjackets x reader#yellowjackets#yellow jackets#lllivia
99 notes
·
View notes
Text
K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 13
Part thirteen of the fourth crossover with @whumpsday!
K&J masterlist
MMSS masterlist
K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist
To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday
Warnings: Domestic violence/spousal abuse
This is the last chapter of this story! HOWEVER, like we mentioned at the start, this AU actually has two different timelines. So keep an eye out for Part B, which is coming next :)
***
The intervening months have been peaceful and uneventful, even with Kane there.
Until one day, Valen doesn’t come home. Again.
Jim is going absolutely out of his mind with worry. The last time Valen went missing, it was the worst thing imaginable. The only thing worse would have been his death. He and Liz have been calling around to hunters, but no one's seen him. It wouldn't even make sense: Valan should have gone straight from Liz's district to vampire territory, and Valen is friendly with the local hunters, though Liz and Laken have been interrogating everyone anyway, as well as searching the area up to the border.
Jim can't sleep. The thought of Valen going through that again, or turning up dead, or never turning up ever again, has him hysterical. Kane tries his best to comfort him, but he's sick with worry too: he knows how cruel hunters can be.
And if it's not hunters... what else could have happened?
This drags on, with no word about his whereabouts, for weeks. Until one day, Jim gets a phone call, and when he answers, Valen's panicked, tearful voice is on the other end. "Jim!"
"Valen!" Jim screams. "Oh my god, you're alive! Where are you? I'll come get you, I'll bring you home, where are you?"
Kane is immediately at rapt attention, listening in.
Valen lets out a series of heartbroken sobs. "Jim, I'm at the Kithrara estate. My husband happened to find me when I came to vampire territory and forced me to come back. He's not letting me leave, he's not leaving me alone for even a second. This is the first time I've had even a minute alone to make a phone call and he's going to come back any second. Please, Jim, I don't know what to do, please help me."
Vampire territory. Valen is in vampire territory, Jim can't get him there. His heart clenches with despair, his eyes filling with tears. "W-what do I do? I can't even get there." He sobs, horrified that Valen is stuck with that monster again.
"I can get him." Kane says, determined, his chains tinkling as he moves closer. "I can bring him home."
"Jim, if-" Valen cuts off abruptly, but he can still be heard breathing heavily, and a man's voice distantly, talking menacingly. "Yes, sir," Valen's voice says far from the phone, and the line goes dead.
Jim cries out in anguish as the line drops. "NO NO NO!" He pounds the wall in despair, tears streaming down his face. He whips around to face Kane, also shaken.
"Please.” Jim drops to his knees, like he always used to. "Please, Kane... sir. I'll do anything. Please bring him home. You could, you could be free, just, just please help him get out of there. Please, c'mon, w-we've been good to you, right? Please."
Jim is under no illusions of how far promising Kane anything goes. Kane could condition it on taking him back, things going back to how they were before. Jim would do it, to get Valen away from that horrible abusive monster. He would give up being a person if he has to.
"Jim, it's, it's okay. I'll get him home, and come right back, and, and you don't need to do anything." Kane is honestly really relieved that Valen is in vampire territory instead of being tortured by hunters. He doesn't know the details about Valen's estranged husband, though if Valen is literally being imprisoned by him, that can't be good.
"Th-thank you, thank you, thank you. Kane, man, thank you. Please do it. Please please please, just, please." Jim is not entirely convinced Kane won't just fuck off the second he's set free. He would have no way to get Valen out, then. All he could do is hope for an eventual escape, and Jim knows firsthand how hard that is to pull off.
"I'll leave as soon as the sun sets. I promise, I'll find a way." Kane hesitates. This part is scary. "Could you... call Liz? I'd like to borrow her gear, and make sure that I can get to vampire territory without any of her colleagues... stopping me."
"Of course. 'Course, Kane. Thank you." Jim picks the phone back up.
***
That night, Kane shows up on the doorstep of the Kithrara estate, ready to raise hell. He doesn't even need to find Valen: all he needs to do is create enough commotion for Valen to escape.
He rings the doorbell.
A servant answers. "Hello? How may I assist you today?"
Kane dashes past the servant quite rudely, running straight inside. He pulls a stake from his belt and holds it up high.
"PRISCUS KITHRARA!" he shouts at the top of his lungs, hoping Valen hears. "Come out and face me!"
He is immediately swarmed by staff: a few servants, the ones brave enough to run towards instead of away, and a few moments later, security, who tackle him to the ground.
The landing at the top of the stairs leading from the entryway into the mansion proper is soon darkened by the presence of Priscus Kithrara, as well as an older vampire who looks to be his father. Priscus has Valen at his side, holding his arm, in a facsimile of protectiveness at the disturbance. Valen is in a modest dress that is not at all his style, and his eyes widen with hope when he sees Kane, but he stays silent.
"What is the meaning of this?" the elder vampire snaps. "Who do you think you are?"
"Go!" Kane shouts, not looking specifically at Valen, but hoping he gets the message. The door is still wide-open.
Kane is wearing several pieces of silver, and a little bit of struggle is all it takes to start burning the people holding him down. He wriggles his lithe body out of their grasp among the ensuing screams of pain, though he knows he'll no doubt be tackled again a few moments later. He has to act fast.
He grabs a silver-coated throwing dart with a gloved hand and throws it directly at Priscus.
It sticks into Priscus's shoulder, through his clothes, and he hisses in pain, reflexively bringing his hands to the injury. Valen bolts, flinging himself over the railing with his dress bundled in his hands.
"Valen!" Priscus thunders. He grabs the dart to tear it out, then yanks his hands back as the silver burns him, before growling and grabbing it again, ripping it out and tossing it away like a hot pan.
One of the security guards steps between Valen and Kane, intercepting Valen on his way to the door. Valen attempts to go around, and the guard crab walks to match, a high-speed game of chicken.
"Priscus, discipline your wife," the elder vampire growls.
Priscus reaches Valen before he can successfully exit the front door; Valen is smaller, and not as strong or fast as his husband, who is larger and stronger than Valen or Kane, and is also at a disadvantage of being in clothes not made to accommodate running. Valen is yanked back by a fistful of hair, yelping with pain as he's bent towards the floor under Priscus's iron strong hands. "What did we talk about?" Priscus growls.
This is bad. Kane needs the attention on him. What could he say to get Priscus to pay attention to him instead?
The most effective thing he can think of is unspeakably crude, and has a chance of backfiring and putting Valen in even more danger. But he's sure that nothing he could say would make Priscus focus more on him than this.
"I am Kane de Sang, and I fucked your wife!" Kane yells, his face heating up, mortified at his own words. "You're a spineless coward who needs a team of guards to face me instead of fighting me for him like a man!"
He's completely winging it. Obviously he will lose a fight with this man. All he needs is for Priscus to drop his guard for just a moment so Valen can get out the door. Just rip off the skirt and run!
Valen whimpers. "You little whore," Priscus hisses, slapping Valen across the face and throwing him to the ground. "I'll deal with you in a second." He turns to face Kane.
Inexplicable rage suddenly wells up in Valen at that moment. He's mostly just let the learned helplessness kick in until now, but for some reason seeing Priscus take Kane more seriously as a threat than Valen himself pushes Valen over the edge. "You will deal with me now!" he roars, throwing himself at Priscus, talons wrapping around his face and sinking into his eyes, blinding him. Dark black blood sprays out as Valen rakes his claws over Priscus's face, ripping at him with a ferocious wail.
Kane has an idea. It could be a very good idea or a very bad idea. But it's Valen's decision, after all. He doesn't have to take it.
"Valen!" Kane tosses him a stake.
Valen catches the stake in a bloody hand, looking shocked and overwhelmed. The room hangs in expectant, stunned silence for a moment, as the disobedient wife holds a stake near the sole heir of one of the most powerful families in the country.
Valen looks conflicted. Then his face screws up in anger, and he plunges the stake into Priscus's chest--not through his heart, but very, very close.
"Leave me the fuck alone," Valen hisses in his ear. "Or I won't miss next time."
He then very quickly strips his dress over his head and shoves Priscus away, tossing it over him, so he thrashes to untangled himself, still deathly afraid with the stake in his chest.
Now only in his bloomers and undershirt, Valen runs out the door and off into the night. Kane dashes off after Valen while everyone is stunned and paying attention to Priscus's disgraced state. The attention of the staff quickly turns towards making sure Priscus is alive and helping him, rather than chasing either of them ensuring a smooth getaway.
"Sorry for the crudeness!" Kane calls, feeling a desperate need to get that out of the way as soon as possible. "I just wanted his attention off you! That was amazing!"
Valen is laughing as he runs, from sheer joy and exhilaration. "Kane, my dear, it was a brilliant play, I wouldn't have had it any other way! Let's see that piece of shit come after his whore of a wife now! Hahaha! Thank you, Kane, I could kiss you!"
He's done good. Kane has finally done something right in his miserable life. His heart warms. "Save it for Jim! He's been inconsolable for weeks."
Jim, my poor Jim, I'm coming.
Valen has never run this fast, and doing it with a friend next to him is thrilling, and he playfully weaves in and out around Kane, zigzagging around obstacles and giggling. Knowing Priscus and that family, they wouldn’t dare come after him after this. Not when they’d seen Valen almost kill Priscus. They couldn’t risk the heir like that.
They’re finally done with him. He’s finally free.
He arrives home, the door banging open, his chest heaving, his eyes wide. "Jim!"
Jim leaps into his arms, having been waiting by the door ever since Kane left. He squeezes Valen as tight as he can, which is not all that tightly to a vampire, but still. He sobs into his shoulder. "I missed you."
Valen hugs Jim firmly back, then picks him up and does a little spin. "I missed you more."
"Are you okay? He's not coming back for you?" Jim asks anxiously.
"I'm okay now. And I don't think he will," Valen says. "I think he's finally got it through his thick skull that he'd be better off simply finding a new wife, if he values his wellbeing."
"Good, 'cause you're too busy being, being my boyfriend." Jim laughs tearily. He looks over Valen's shoulder to where Kane stands. "Thank you. Thank you for bringing him home."
"I'm glad I could help." Kane says with a smile.
"Oooh, Kane, take all that wretched silver off so I can finally give you a well-earned hug, would you?"
Kane beams, discarding Liz's things on the porch before coming inside. Jim doesn't let go of Valen, pulling Kane into a group hug.
***
@barebarb
@cc1010foxy
@emcscared-whumps
@gt-daboss
@hurtpluscomfort
@jakersdaboss
@lolrpop
@melancholy-in-the-morning
@pigeonwhumps
@secretwhumplair
@some-thrilling-heroics
@starfields08000
@t0rture-me
@thecyrulik
@thejinglingcourtjester
@vehan-tikkun-olam-and-stuff
@whuarri
@whump-cravings
@whump-my-heart-away
@whumpycries
@wolfeyedwitch
@whump-addict
@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
G/t build up and break down
Holy shit 54 votes??
Also side note: due to my health I wasn't able to make any art for this post as promised, it'll be released in a separate post and the continuing art will be of what I've made in the past. I'm really sorry but I don't want to keep you all waiting :(
T had always been a sensitive soul, not only to sound and touch but to words too, and yet, somehow they managed to always keep themselves calm and collected, never showing those who would hurt their feelings a single care in the world... they would suppress their feelings, which was already difficult and unhealthy, but it only became harder over time...
G had gotten so used to T being unaffected by their words that G slowly but surely became more and more careless with their teasing, making downright nasty comments about T without actually realizing it hurt their friend, what was even worse is that T also tended to agree with everything G had to say, breaking down any slither of self-worth they still had.
T at this point considered G more of a bully than their friend, but still stuck by them, for days, weeks, months, and a whole 2 years this went on before it finally became too much to handle.
T was emotionally drained and just wanted to be left alone... but unfortunately, G had noticed that T was more quiet than usual, and was being extra pushy to get T to open up to them, G was persistent, too persistent...
"You're so sensitive"
That very last comment made wasn't even the worst T had heard, yet that was what made T finally break into tears, they cried and cried and cried, rubbing the tears away for only more to come streaming down their red cheeks, they just stood there, sobbing profusely. They didn't care what G thought of them anymore, they were hurt, they had put up with G's careless commentary and this is what they got for not being honest about their feelings.
G sat there, completely silent, they had never seen T cry before, and they weren't sure what exactly caused it but G knew that they had probably gone too far... but how? What had happened to T that made them cry this much? Who hurt them so badly that they didn't want to tell their best friend? G was furious at first and was about to persist before T started to spill the truth, how hurt they felt, how the teasing had become more painful than fun after a while, and how they regretted not speaking up sooner...
G slowly picked up the other, gently wiping their tears away with their sleeve and just listening to everything they had to say... this went on for about an hour and T had finally fallen silent like they were before, only this time they looked worried, they had said things that they had never said to anyone before, ever, and the last person they wanted to suddenly vent to was the one who had made them feel like this in the first place... but G didn't get upset for what T had said, instead they were frustrated why T never told G about it until today.
"Did you mean all that you said?" G asked while looking at T, lying curled up in their hand.
"No- I mean- I" T could already feel more tears filling their eyes, and it hadn't even been 2 minutes since they last cried
"Don't backpedal now" G said in a harsh tone and made T face them "I'm not mad at you for saying all that to me, I'm mad that you never said this before. Why? Did you think I would have hurt you? Are you so scared that you would rather suffer in silence than try to communicate with me? Did you think I tried to hurt you on purpose?"
"Yes... I was scared, I was terrified! I didn't want to say anything in case you thought I was being too sensitive." T said while tubbing their eyes
"I wouldn't have thought that! Maybe you are sensitive, there's nothing wrong with that, please just don't do that ever again, okay? I'll be more careful with my words, I promise you can tell me in the future if I hurt you" G never made promises unless he knew they could keep them, and he did, it took T a long time, a very long time. But they got better, more honest, more vocal about how they felt and their opinion on certain things, they were less afraid of their friends reaction because they felt safer around G.
#g/t community#gentle giant#giant/tiny#g/t#gt community#my characters#my ocs#oc#own character#my oc art#gt writing#g/t art#g/t drawing#g/t ocs#gt story#gt art#sfw gt#g/t related#giant oc#giant tiny#tiny oc#giant#sfw g/t#writerscorner#writblr#short story#angst
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
My Response to Watcher's Apology
Yesterday, Watcher released an apology video regarding their decision to move all their content to a new streaming service which most people cant afford even at 6 dollars a month. And personally speaking, I was pretty satisfied with it. I couldnt see them scrapping the streaming service idea entirely because its definetly too late in the game to do that, but they comprise on certian, like having episodes come out on Watcher the service, releasing onto Youtube much later, and having Patreon backers use the service for free (which I didnt know was not a thing for Patreon backers initially which is kind of alarming). I'd say overall, they did a good job with their apology. At least in my opinion. Im pretty sure others might look at it differently or maybe Im probably for forgiving people for who do bad things and thus more likely to be at the receiving end of a toxic friendship/relationship in the future......
I will say though, this whole situation has made going to back their old content (from Watcher and Buzzfeed) a lot more awkward. Its one of those things where a creator you like does something bad and watching content made before they did the bad thing wrong, and you cant separate the art from the artist because you liked their content for them mostly. Its kind of like when I rewatched old Achievement Hunter stuff right when the Ryan Haywood drama happened. Granted, what Watcher did was far tamer than that scenario. But its still bad, and portrays the guys in a negative light. Some people I've seen who've covered this, from Sensative Society to Jacksfilms (who released a parody of their apology literally within a couple of hours of the upload which I wont ever find not funny) have portrayed them as greedy for this move, and as someone who could view this from the perspective of an outsider, I can understand that. But like I had mentioned in my original post, I sympathized with why they felt like Youtube wasnt for them, but (like I said) this was the worst solution to that quandary they could've made. Speaking of commentators, I've also been avoiding that type of content just because how negatively effected by this whole drama. The fact this happened right around the time I was on a Buzzfeed Unsolved binge didn't help. This whole thing has made me so upset that I've just been avoiding sort of content revolving Watcher or Buzzfeed Unsolved period. I dont really know what else to say here, this whole thing sucks and I wish it never happened.
However, I think this is a feeling that will change, as time goes by and people move on from this drama. I think that Watcher will be able to bounce after this whole thing dies down, especially because this is not as bad as Ryan Bergara diddling a kid or Shane Madej........idk awakening into his demon form or something. But, I think this will be something that will haunt them going forward pretty much since the bad things you do online will stay online......forever
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
22:40
[ te pido perdon (todo fue mi culpa) ] angsty thoughts #1 ✉
[what is #thoughts? a series of short imagines where i have fluffy, angsty, wild (+18) or alternative thoughts]
❥ ✉
(y/n) you made me a better person while i brought out the worst of you. (y/n) i think you know why i think about you every day and why i can't stop calling. (y/n) i just wanna hear your voice and for it not to be your voicemail audio again. (y/n) i feel like floating when someone talks about you again but then reality comes crashing down that i don't have you anymore. (y/n) i think i'm going insane without you, would you please pick up?
"please stop calling me, i'm at work right now and i can't deal with this." they say and all i can think about is that they got the job that they were working so hard for and how proud i am of them instead of the harsh words they just spoke. "hello? seonghwa are you there?"
"i am here (y/n)." i say not falling for the words that were coming out of my mouth so smoothly when the constant breakdowns that i kept having were pulling me down. "we need to talk." i repeated my last message out loud.
"there's nothing to talk about, you said it so clearly how i'm just a stain in your life, how clingy and awful i can be right? fuck off and leave me alone." they said, my heart breaking slowly but knowing that theirs was far more broken after what i've said. i could not take back my words anymore and i didn't know what i was gonna say in the first place after hearing that. i knew i was guilty of putting them in a dark spot.
"please let's just talk like we always do." i insisted but they laughed, a broken one. as if the damage didn't matter anymore, as if the pieces were slowly putting themselves back together and leaving me in the past. how selfish of me, how could i even think that? this isn't about me in the first place.
"it's too late to talk, that's all i wanted to do but you had to cut me off like that didn't you? you and your perfect idol life thinking you're above me because of your job." their words were like daggers to me, the fact that i made them feel that way made everything inside me boil. but i wasn't mad at them or at the world, just mad at myself for digging so low. "listen i don't know who you think you are but we're done for, there's no us anymore and definitely nothing i wanna work out with someone who treated me in such a cruel way".
"i didn't mean to do any of that! i don't know what the fuck i was thinking okay? please..." i didn't know what i was pleading for in the first place but i was slowly breaking down like nothing mattered anymore. "i cannot lose you, i simply cannot do it without you (y/n)".
"funny how you weren't thinking that before you told me to get out huh? now that i'm not there anymore it's all making sense isn't it?" i could feel my throat building up like i was gonna choke and die with a torn up heart. i didn't want to be doing this because i know i'm in the wrong at the end of the day, i do not deserve them. "what do you want me to say? what do you want me to do? to come crawling back? fuck no".
a silence so deafening fell. realizing that i have no chance on this argument, i truly moved my pieces in the worst way when i talked to them. i made them feel so small and haunted, like i was the worst thing that ever happened to them when i was supposed to be the one who protected them from those kinds of thoughts. how am i so pathetic? how did i fall so low?
"listen, i gotta go and please don't call anymore." they said for the last time and i found myself nodding at nothing. letting the tears stream down slowly like they were the only real thing left inside me to show that i truly cared.
"one last thing, please." i said with my last chance to make it right.
"what is it?" they asked and with no strength anymore, i gave up.
"i'm sorry (y/n), everything was my fault."
#ateez angst#ateez x reader#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa x reader#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez short imagines#angst ateez#ateez drabbles#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#sourbinnie
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
Written for @thunder-pride <3 I've fallen very VERY behind in looking over everyone's wonderful creations, so I'm looking forward to doing that once I'm home from the movies with my sister :D
If you'd like more trans Virgil, I've also written a separate piece for him here
---
There was a chill in the air that sung the first whisper of winter arriving to the island, but Virgil hardly noticed the wind that ruffled his hair, looking out across the ocean with his back against the trunk of a century-old pōhutukawa tree. Idly, his hands tore at the little leaves, orange and brown and still coated with the hard wax that protected them in the salty air. The loud snap of the dead leaves cracking under the pressure clashed harshly with the soft sound of waves far below.
His hands scrabbled beside him for a new object to shred, his eyes never leaving the sea, and in the lull he heard the crunch of footsteps on leaf litter behind him. He whirled around at once.
“Oh, it’s you,” he said.
“You sound almost disappointed,” said Scott dryly. “Were you expecting Gordon?”
Virgil shrugged.
“Figured he’d be the impatient one.”
“He is worried,” said Scott in agreement as he sat. He winced slightly at the twigs that dug into him and shifted closer to Virgil. “Grandma was having a hell of a time getting him to stay put. Alan stole his crutches for her.”
A smile ghosted across Virgil’s lips, but it vanished just as fast.
“Talk to me V,” said Scott, softly. He’d never been able to let the childhood nickname go and for once it felt like a comfort instead of an annoyance.
“What is there to say?” asked Virgil. “The rescue went bad. It happens.”
“It does. But they all made it in the end.” Scott bumped his shoulder against Virgil’s. “Thanks to you.”
“Gordon still got hurt.”
“He’s okay. Can’t keep the fish down in the dumps for too long.”
Virgil nodded, his lips pressed together hard as though the slightest loosening of control would cause all his personal doubts to stream forth like water breaking from a dam.
He thrust his hand into his coat’s pocket, his breathing steadying into a calm resolve. Scott thought he saw a crumpled card pass from his fingertips but he didn’t say anything, not wanting to push too far.
“I wish Gordon hadn’t been hurt,” Virgil said abruptly. “But even more so, I wish that had been the worst part of that rescue.”
Scott looked at him sharply.
“You didn’t report any injuries,” he began, but Virgil was already shaking his head.
“It was during the handover. This… this…”
He stopped, chest heaving, struggling with the words.
“You remember the kid I sat with?” he said at last. “From my debrief report?”
“Yeah,” said Scott, narrowing his eyes as he strained his memory. “Lewis, right?”
“That’s the one,” said Virgil. He closed his eyes and sat back against the tree trunk with a sigh. “He was a nice kid. Determined.”
“Well, what about him.”
“His mom was there to collect him. She…she…”
His hands curled into firsts, the knuckles shining white as his pale face. They shook ever so slightly as Scott laid his hands across them and gently held them still.
“You’re home, V,” said Scott. “Safe. You can talk to me. Or we can sit here. No rush.”
The kindness washed over Virgil like a soothing balm that sunk into his skin and he collapsed forwards into his brother’s arms.
“Was Lewis safe? You didn’t mention otherwise in the report.”
Virgil shook his head and Scott’s arms tightened around him, anger mounting as he swore.
“No, not that,” said Virgil, his voice muffled. “She called him the wrong name when she saw him, shouted it right across the room before she ran over. And then she realised she’d said i.”
“The wrong name?” asked Scott puzzled. “What do you mea– oh.”
He felt the twitch of Virgil’s sad smile against his shoulder.
“Yeah,” agreed Virgil. “Oh.”
He pulled back and Scott let him go. An ache built inside him, watching the way Virgil chased his tears with his fingertips.
“It just got me thinking about Mom.”
Virgil’s words were quiet but steady, with no tremor to betray his emotions. Scott’s heart stuttered in his chest, still unwilling and unable to put aside the pain he carried due to her passing.
“What about her?”
Virgil lifted his eyes to meet Scott’s.
“She never knew me,” he said simply. “She never knew me as me. I’ll never be her son, not really.”
Scott’s breath caught and he jerked forwards.
“That’s not true.”
Virgil shoved him away with a glare.
“You can’t make this one better, Scott. Save your white lies for the kids.” His voice shook and he curled in on himself. “She might have still loved me,” he whispered. “But I’ll never know.”
Scott hovered, frozen between his instinct to help and the looming reality that there was nothing he could do. This was grief for something he didn’t know, would never experience, and what else was there but to sit with his brother and acknowledge that pain.
He lay a hand on Virgil’s shoulder, a silent message of solidarity.
You are not alone.
Scott willed the thought to pass though his fingers, for the truth to sink through and wrap around his brother’s heart and soul.
“She knew you,” he said at last. “I have to believe that.”
“I do too,” whispered Virgil. “But I can’t find it today.”
Scott swallowed, his tongue feeling swollen in his mouth as he stumbled over his words.
“Do you remember when we were little? How she used to tell us we could be whoever we wanted to be?”
Virgil nodded.
“And you told her you wanted to be a bird?” he said, with a weak laugh.
A warmth kindled in Scott’s heart and he nursed the flame gently as he remembered.
“She said if that’s what I wanted,” said Scott with a faraway smile. “I think I did my best to make it come true.”
Virgil nodded.
“Sometimes I wonder if she’d be proud,” said Scott quietly. “If she’d look at the choices we made and if her eyes would start shining.”
“Of course she would,” said Virgil automatically. “Scott, she’d be so proud of you. Of all of us, but especially you.”
“How do you know?” asked Scott simply. His eyes were dark in their intensity, searching for something in Virgil’s expression that would show he was telling the truth.
B…because,” stuttered Virgil, stumbling over the idea. “Just because.”
Scott nodded.
“Because you knew her,” he said. “Like we all did. Like we all do.”
Virgil’s mouth twisted downwards.
“We don’t though. There’s things we’ll never know, stories she never told that we’ll never hear.”
Scott shook his head.
“We knew her,” he said stubbornly. “And she knew us.”
He sighed and slung an arm around Virgil’s shoulders.
“Look, Virgil,” he said in a quiet voice, staring out across the ocean. “I can’t tell you exactly what Mom would have said or done. I don’t even think there’s a damn thing to be said that makes this better. She should have been here and you should have gotten to be her son like we’ve gotten to have you as our brother.”
Virgil rested his head against Scott and closed his eyes with a sigh.
“Do you think it’ll ever end? Grieving her?”
“How can it?” said Scott, choking on the cool pain of a knife to his heart. “We’ll keep getting older, keep changing. She’ll never see it. We’ll never stop wishing she could.”
“Never,” echoed Virgil.
Scott got slowly to his feet and stared out across the ocean.
“She loved us,” he said at last. “That’s what we hold onto, Virgil. She knew us and she loved us.”
Virgil nodding, repeating the words like a mantra.
“She knew us and she loved us.”
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
Talk dirty to me about Sirius Black and bpd
I've been headcanoning the Blacks (Walburga, Sirius and Regulus all) as bipolar but I've been too. cautious? to write them as such explicitly
but I'd like to
anon my beloved im sorry this took me so long but it gets me in the FEELS talking about bipolar sirius so i gotta ration it out
(i'm gonna make a separate post about writing sirius/the house of black generally as bipolar bc i know its something people are cautious about and is worth discussing itself)
okay heres some little bipolar sirius headcanons. cw for some intense mental health stuff
when sirius is manic as a kid he associates that come down with clashes with his parents. and bc he knows its going to happen he makes it happen. he pushes the boundaries as far as he can and chases the adrenaline and ends up in huge fights until he's locked up in his room, which he will forever associate with a terrifying, all-consuming sadness
he doesn't REALISE that other people's families dont have breakdowns every other week and when he does figure it out he just puts it down to his family being uniquely crazy bc they're just evil like that
he has absolutely zero emotional regulation which gives him a quick reputation of being dramatic and over the top so he leans into it hard
he has more intelligence than he knows what to do with and if he doesnt have something to do with it he'll direct it towards self-destructiveness instead
james is one of the best things to ever happen to him for this reason. james is just as smart and high energy and bc they both obviously have adhd they cant sit and focus on anything that isnt extremely interesting and rewarding (so not classes) for a single moment. thus the most daring and ingenuitive pair of pranksters is born
james is the first and for a long time only person to see sirius when he slips into deep depression. he never for a second judges. after a couple of years he knows how to predict it, and is already waiting with food that will drag sirius out of bed, pranks to plan at the back of the classroom that stop him missing so many classes it raises eyebrows, and an endless stream of jokes and games and distractions that stop sirius sinking into his head too much
james understands sirius at his highs and is there for him at his lows, but remus is the first person who truly understands how deep and dark those lows go
part of the reason sirius is so entranced with remus is bc they share a darkness inside of them they're determined to hide bc the world already expects it to mean they're evil
sometimes when sirius is especially manic to the point of losing his mind he wonders if he is
full moons are oddly the most regulating thing for sirius (which he would never ever admit to remus even if he had the words, but remus notices anyway) because it gives him a fixed, predictable up and down. one night a month he knows he can go wild and break the rules and let his energy out in the safety of his friends
sirius seems like he doesn't want to read bc most of the time he just doesn't have the patience. but whenever he's sitting at the back of the classroom or kept up at night or wandering aimlessly through the grounds and conjures up some idea by his brain working a mile at a minute that obviously needs to be explored, he will, at those points, spend hours upon hours pouring through books to find what he wants
this is large part of how the animagi idea comes up
sirius is on a high for most of september after finally leaving his house for his home. he crashes for most of october (the odd shift in seasons and long dark days don't help). he usually picks up by the time quidditch season and pre-halloween prank season begins
remus is the only one who can calm sirius down. bc he's calm himself, bc he actually understands why sirius is driving himself crazy from his own energy, bc sirius knows this and doesn't feel belittled or dismissed by remus
as such some of sirius's worst moments are when remus isn't speaking to him, or worse, is so angry he's terrified he's going to lose him, bc it's not just heartbreak, it's also his whole anchor
sirius was actually terrible at school until he met james bc he simply couldn't concentrate locked in a room for 8 hours with reg and his tutor. but james is exactly the same and they discover within a couple of months they can learn the entire syllabus partly through picking it up by ear through professors, partly the essays they finish in one sitting in the early morning hours before its due, but mostly through figuring out the magic themselves by pranking each other (and everyone else)
at some point snape does something to terrify the shit out of sirius so much he can't think straight. maybe snape threatens him, or james, or remus, or reg. whatever it is, sirius's mind narrows to the single goal of somehow terrifying snape even more than he did sirius, and he follows every ounce of manic adrenaline without heed to consequences to do so. this is the first time james is truly furious at sirius for something manic he did. it's not the first time remus is, but it's the first time sirius truly thinks he won't forgive him
sirius is more scared than anyone during the war, because he has absolutely no ability to regulate the extreme emotional onslaught he's subjected to. his only support network is remus, and remus simply cannot handle that alone
destroying relationships with people you love out of nowhere in a whirlwind of self-destruction is a peak bipolar symptom that's pretty much all i have to say about the war
sirius doesn't really have manic episodes like he used to during azkaban, bc they suck all of the good emotions out of him. but he does get occasional waves of frustration, of restless energy, of an urge to just do something. its quickly weighed down by the futility of it all, by the reminder he's lost everything and it's all his fault and there's nothing he can do. until he sees peter's photo in the prophet, and from then on he is single-mindedly devoted to that task. there's no sense of what's possible or dangerous or his own limitations, just a manic drive to get out of here
mania is pretty much what drives sirius over the next few months bc he hasn't felt it in so long its uncontrollable. he would never cross hundreds of miles, evade the ministry, track harry down, keep himself alive without it. but he also spends most of that time as a dog because his human thoughts are just too much
he falls into deep deep depression as soon as he stops running which coincides with the exact time someone convinces him he needs to stay locked up in grimmauld place for his own good
now however its 1995, and even if the wizarding world remains stuck in time, the muggle world actually knows what bipolar disorder is. remus, who spent a good amount of the past fourteen years living in the muggle world with chronic depression, and andromeda, who grew up surrounded by people with a similar condition to sirius, is also well connected with the muggle world, and has a husband who's a healer, both figure out that sirius is very ill. sirius is proud and stubborn and also utterly uncaring about his own wellbeing whilst harry is in danger, but remus and andromeda are used to all of this and know how to get sirius the help that he needs, and the result is that he actually does
there are potions for growing bones there are absolutely potions to regulate moods
everything is shit and impossibly hard to deal with for a long long time, not least because azkaban alters your brain so much you have to rewire it through endless positive reinforcement to get anywhere close to healing, and who can do that in a war? but now he has actual medical help, and words for what's going on in his brain which is brilliant now he's actually certifiably crazy moony, but there's so much relief at some point he breaks down crying bc finally he understands even a small part of all the madness people have accused him for a lifetime of
remus is still his anchor even if it takes months to get to a place where they can trust each other beyond loyalty to the order and to harry, and much longer to be as vulnerable as they were before 1981. but when they get there its a thousand times better because now they know themselves and each other enough to slowly, slowly build the stability and peace they both always needed
harry has a kid who has adhd and sirius is the first person to figure it out ❤️
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm in some kind of abusive cycle with the blog where people submit their dreams. I love hearing people's dreams, so I follow it thinking it's going to be interesting, and then I have to unfollow because it feels like 90% of the posts are about celebrities and fandom shit, then I forget about it for a while until a really cool/funny/scary/weird dream gets reblogged onto my dash, then I follow it again out of some kind of moronic optimism, and pretty soon I remember why I unfollowed it the last time. I'm not sure which possibility is the worst,
a) that for the most part people only submit dreams involving celebrities or fandoms because they assume no one cares about anything else,
b) most of the submissions are made up but nobody has the brain power to invent anything that doesn't involve celebrities or fandoms,
c) actually a large volume of young people's dreams really are about celebrities and fandoms, like a lot of tumblr users just don't even dream about anything else.
Now that I've typed it all out I'm pretty sure (c) is the worst of all possible worlds, but I wouldn't be surprised if it were really true for a lot of people just based on the sort of online behavior I see. There's a reason the "blorbo from my stories" post blew up (and I often wonder if that person regrets it), about how you can post the most random non-human image possible and you'll still have people in your notifications explaining how it somehow represents whatever their main fandom thing is; "fandom" doesn't describe an interest or even a community anymore, its more like this condition of extreme narrowing of perception and cognition down to like one subject, and somehow this is something you're proud of. Seeing people reblog the blorbo post not to co-sign what OP was saying, but to say "Yay this is totally me!!!" with no sense that they're being criticized was really disturbing. There's actually an even worse version of this where somebody broke down the most common (generally sexual) characterizations and scenarios in fan fiction specifically to show how much of this content just perpetuates really ugly stereotypes and bigoted attitudes, but the fandom people got it and reblogged it like "Yay this is totally me!!!" while OP was going...oh my god doesn't anyone understand what I said? There's this kind of scary, culty "FANDOM GOOD" thing that's like so pathological that it actually affects people's reading comprehension and makes them unable to even perceive criticism unless you push things to the extreme and bring nazis or pedophiles or something into it, you have to go so far as to tell someone they're a bad person to break through with them.
Anyway I know this isn't a scientific fact but I agree with the popular notion that dreams are a way of processing experiences and feelings that you're not done chewing on yet. For the most part your dreams should be made up of things, however filtered they are through symbolic language, that are somehow unresolved for you. You shouldn't be closing your eyes at night and just seeing a stream of the exact same pacifying stuff you choose to watch on TV. If that's happening more than once in a great while, you might have given yourself some form of brain damage, and I'm only being slightly sarcastic about that.
(Actually I think it's probably abnormal if you have a lot of wish fulfillment dreams in general; I used to have this friend who turned out to be completely toxic and nuts, and he was always happy to tell me these dreams he had where like he's a cross between Batman and Superman and he punishes everyone who was ever mean to him and then everyone worships him and he becomes the king of the universe or whatever. And I always thought oh my god, why isn't he embarrassed by this, if I had dreams like that about myself where I'm the best person ever and everyone else is either my victim or my slave, I don't think I would repeat it to anyone! But ANYWAY)
I've probably written this post before without even realizing it, which means I have my own problem where I need to disconnect from this thought process. Tumblr used to be a place where you could see weird, cool, interesting stuff that didn't really exist elsewhere, and it was reasonably easy to curate your experience; now the fandom thing is just at such a critical mass that it feels like you're always about one degree of separation from it no matter what you do. When capacity made that post the other day about how you can't even search for any media you're interested in on tumblr because all you get is the fan activity around the thing and not the thing itself (or god forbid your search involves a normal English word that happens to relate to a fandom, then you're really fucked)--when I first saw that post it had almost 8,000 notes and it was only 7 hours old. Whether you're someone who likes it or not, everyone knew what that was about, we are all experiencing it.
I would probably be slightly less bothered if I just let myself think that all the celebrity and fandom posts clogging up that dream blog are mainly just made up, due to whatever compulsion makes people make up inconsequential bullshit on the internet. I remember when FML was a thing, and at first it was kind of fun and kind of like this shared catharsis thing, but pretty quickly it became full of obviously fake stories that were so extreme they weren't even funny, like if someone said those things out loud in your presence you'd just feel sorry for them, that they want attention so bad they'll tell degrading lies about themselves to get it. Actually though the site started to degenerate into basically two kinds of content, which were not necessarily mutually exclusive, but it was always either people telling degrading lies about themselves for attention, or people telling elaborate stories about how they ate all kinds of poisonous garbage and then they shat themselves in public. And for one thing, I don't think it counts as a proper FML if you deliberately did something that was not a good idea and then immediately suffered the most predictable consequences, you know like eating hot cheetoes in gravy and washing it down with a liter of grape soda and then shitting your pants is kinda the same as "I knowingly stepped in front of a speeding car and it hit me and I was badly injured and now I'm in the hospital, fuck my life!", it's not really a surprising misfortune or irony, it's just something you did on purpose because you have no self-control even though only one outcome was possible. But I always had the feeling that the pants-shitters were American, and like obviously America has a problem with junk food, so I started to wonder if everywhere you go here you're just always near at least one person who is one more bad decision away from shitting their pants. Maybe it's true, I dunno, it's starting to seem likely. Maybe we should just change the name of the country to Pantshitsylvania and get it over with, it's probably what we deserve.
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
3/13/2024
10:42 PM
I've been watching Freaks and Geeks (for probably the 100th time) and I never realized that Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones) is in it. I just spent a good while trying to figure out why I recognized her so much. And when I figured it out, I did the only thing a person can do. I pointed at the TV and said in my best Chris Trager impression, "Ann Perkins." And then I proceeded to laugh to myself at my stupid little joke. I am my biggest fan and my worst heckler.
I had probation this morning, which meant my day started at 8:00 AM. It was supposed to start at 6 but I managed to turn every alarm completely off. My ride picked me up at 8:30. I had just enough time to feed the outside cats, my cat, take a five-minute shower and leave. A half-pot of coffee sat looking so delicious, but I stopped taking coffee cups out of the house. I tend to leave them in random places.
Probation went smooth, as always. I always get that weird feeling though that I've done something wrong. Every time. After my hour with the PO group, I just headed up to the alley. It's not like there's really anything better to do in this dying little town. It really makes me wonder if maybe, once I'm off paper, I move somewhere. Not for someone like I did Milwaukee or Manitowoc, but for me. The last placed I moved to for me was Oconomowoc and that turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. This town is going to last long, and anyone here can see it. When a house or two is for sale on every single street, that's not a good sign.
Work was unusually dead. I decided to step away from my normal Spotify playlist, and actually went way to back to my old YouTube playlist (back when I was too cheap to pay for any kind of streaming services. I'm not going back to that though.) A lot of my YouTube list was made in very late nights, when i would smoke a lot of weed, which means there is some very very weird shit on there. There are tons of bands that only had a few songs available when I stumbled across them (like Bat Country. The songs Bathroom Floor and Porcelain Lions are beautiful, and can be found pretty easily, check the Fistful of Vinyl sessions.) or really odd mashups. Rick Astley and Nirvana work far better than they should. And then there's they straight up weird (My Hands Are Bananas). It drives Sherry nuts some of the off the wall music I'll sing along too. Every once in a while, one will catch her. Tonight, she heard Annoying's Wishing Well (which is such a hauntingly beautiful tune) and by the end she was asking who it was. Also, Meatwad singing Chicken and Beans will make me laugh every single time I hear it.
Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. This is the first one since he died in January. I'm going to call my stepmom tomorrow and make sure she's doing well. I tried texting her for her birthday, but I didn't get a reply. Of course, I texted her a day or two late.
I'm bummed about it. I'm sure most people would be too. But it's kind of weird to me. I mean, he never made it a big deal well he was alive. Most years we just let it pass by. Birthdays have never been a real big thing for our family, at least for the adults. We always joke that once you pass 21 there is nothing left to celebrate. I guess that joke kind of became real. Knowing that, I wonder why it feels so important tomorrow. Why it matters. I can't quite figure it out, and it's kind of eating at me a little bit. Just enough to pique my curiosity. I miss him. He would've been 57.
#journal#my blog#blog#life#my journal#my stuff#my post#my writing#personal#personal blog#slice of life#writing#nonfiction#inner thoughts#personal thoughts
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
'Ello! It's me again, giving my VERY long live stream review of Doctor Who, the Wild Blue Yonder.
(I don't do trailers or ANY spoilers for episodes, so it's an honest, gut reaction review RIGHT out of the gates for this one haha)
SPOILERS BELOW:
Once again, my first essay is this: I really, really miss watching it "live" with other fans. And, after a whole week of being active with the fandom, I've realized that spoilers are INSTANT. I couldn't watch this episode right when it was released on Disney plus and I was spoiled JUST by opening Tumblr to start this post. Could I have blocked the tags? Yeah, but I was going to watch the episode only three hours after it had went up, so I assumed I could avoid the worst of it. ANYWAY, my point stands... I'm really going to miss watching it with other fans because I have to make posts like this AND because spoilers are a problem.
NOW THEN.
1. HISTORICAL EPISODE. YES? PROBABLY? IS THAT GOING TO BE NEWTON??? OH HECK YES, THE APPLE FELL IT'S HIM. I looooooove DW historical episodes, oh my god.
2."But don't worry. He's got a time machine, which means he can blame me for all eternity." Donna Noble, stay sassy forever.
3. I CALLED NEWTON. Heck yes!!!!
4. Donna's and the Doctor's chemistry really reigns supreme to me. Now, I wouldn't necessarily pair Donna with 11th or 12th, the dynamic would be wildly different (huh, one day I'll write an essay about that), but the tenth Doctor needed Donna and the fourteenth Doctor appreciates that. It's really, really interesting and so lovely to see, honestly.
7. "The TARDIS played us a war song". Woah boy, here we go, PLOT.
5. It would be the Doctor to mess up history to THAT sort of extreme, wouldn't it lmao. "Mavity" to "gravity" is just too great. Aww, bye Newton! I wish we got more of him.
6. Yo the TARDIS is PISSED!!! Jeez, of course it's possible to have literally ANYTHING happen to the TARDIS, but I never consider "giant flame the likes of which a rocket could fly from" on the docket.
8. Ya know, I can't remember if I've ever seen the TARDIS's top light go on. And also, kudos to the TARDIS for the adorable "ding" noise when it did so, made me smile.
9. Bu-bu-budget. Holy. Cow. The space ship looks so good! Just insane.
10. Donna: "Was it me, or was Isaac Newton hot?" The Doctor: "He was, wasn't he... Oh, is that who I am now?" .... Donna: "well it was never that far from the surface, mate." RTD, as always, SAID "GAY RIGHTS" and I'm here for it. Very much reminded of the Doctor's infamous Shakespeare episode with Martha. "56 academics just punched the air"! But really, if I had heard a conversation like this when I was younger, I would be sobbing. Even if I'm a woman, just having a casual conversation in terms of liking the same sex is so valuable.
11. Why are we constantly losing the TARDIS. 13's era was also infamous for it.
12. Aww them fighting hurt... And you know what hurt more? Watching the Doctor comfort Donna. I mean, it was perfect, but it took SO LONG for the Doctor to be wiling to get there. I love character growth, even 15 years later.
13. "Go and kick its arse" HECK YES, DONNA. You got that right!
14. Doctor: "I know 57,000,000,205 [languages]." MY HEADCANON. Oh, my good old headcanon. So the TARDIS translates for humans but the Doctor knows the languages! I MEAN. It's confirmed!!! AH. I feel like some people would be disappointed by that but it's still cool to know that the Doctor DOES speak different languages. (Yo, my Academy Era fans, could you imagine the Doctor learning all that with the Deca? The Master is losing his mind as we speak.)
15. Once again, a million gold stars to everyone who did the music. It's so FULL.
16. This is a personal thing, but I love when the Doctor has moments that make the title "Time Lord" make sense. The whole "maybe time slowed down?" "No, I'd feel it in my bones." Like, YES, a Time Lord feeling that kind of thing makes sense, thank you!
17. "Allons, as idiots say, y!" oh my god Donna I'd marry you, I swear. Thank you for the sass. Also love the fact that Donna is driving the cart. No idea why, it just makes total sense.
18. Donna: "That's my family over there [one hundred trillion years away]". I have words about Donna having a family, I swear to you, but mostly it's this... Donna's dedication and love for her family is exactly what she needed in her life and I support her whole heartedly. It's beautiful, and perfect, and I do wonder how much of that dedication to keep her family safe comes from the Doctor.
19. I don't know if it's specifically a call back, but 14 licking the "dangerous" thingy felt like a 13 moment and I damn near teared up. Now, him faking being hurt by that? That was either 9 or 12, I can't decide lmao.
20. I'm about 25 minutes into the episode but I sincerely don't know what way this plot is going. We got a goal of "find the TARDIS by removing the danger", we've changed the word "gravity" to "mavity", and we're stuck at the edge of the universe... Love a good mystery, but I'm really wondering where this episode is going.
21. I'm unsure if David Tennant filmed the second season of Good Omens before or after DW, but I JUST saw Crawley's iconic swagger as he was walking away from Donna and I'm here for it haha.
22. I'm getting "half the ship inside a warm hole / Missy, the Doctor, and Bill's" plotline vibes. Does time move differently throughout the ship, just as Donna thought?
23. Donna: "Do you miss home? Gallifrey?" Doctor: "I suppose... But that got complicated." SAY IT, DOCTOR. Please, please, PLEASE. I'd love to hear that parts of 13's plotline live on, PLEASE. I know that's my desire, personally, but I'd kill for it. *Sigh*... But by being cryptic, it might make fans go back to watch her era, and I'd love that too.
24. Hmmm going off of #22... I'm thinking clones instead? OH NOT CLONES. NOT CLONES. Aliens! For sure aliens!
25. Can we talk about the cgi? I mean, it's pretty damn good considering what we had in the past. How crazy is that? Good cgi? Also, kudos to our main leads for their acting here! Always fun to see actors doppelgange themselves lol
26. I am SO FREAKED OUT RIGHT NOW. I didn't know this was a horror movie thing! It's December!
27. WE KEPT THE FLUX. WE K E P T T H E F L U X. We have the Timeless Child AND the Flux! We have the Doctor being so, so heartbroken about the Flux, out loud! Oh my god, I could cry. Really, I could give a great big shout. I know RTD mentioned that he was going to keep it, but he didn't have to do it so blatantly and make it a plot point! That's so, so g r e a t. AND- AND it leaves no room for discussion about 13's era! It still has continuality - it's engrained into the Doctor, even with a new writer and the next new writer and the next Doctor!!!! NO ONE CAN TAKE THE TIMELESS CHILD ARC FROM ME IF IT MEANS IT LIVES ON IN ANOTHER DOCTOR. HA.
I will write more about that because, really, it's so important to me. It such a small thing, but 13 Doctor fans can have a good cry tonight. It's so validating.
28. Oh wait, nope, hold on... Not done with point #27. The Doctor punching at the walls after hearing about the Flux and the Timeless child again? Screaming in rage, in pain, in everything that 13 couldn't do - that 13 refused to do, because she couldn't let anyone know she was hurting? 13 kept her walls so high that she tried to convince herself that everything was alright. 14 is the effects of that, a complete change, a metamorphous into that pain and I am LIVING for it. 13 couldn't scream, not properly, but 14 can.
29. Hehe. The Doctor's biggest strength, their intellect, needed to be squashed to save the day? Nope, no way, not in a million years could ANY Doctor do it. One single question and they've gotta solve it until it's done. Side note, if any reader can't tell, I am having a GREAT time. I may not have expect to be scared, but I'm loving it!
30. WILF. WILF. OH MY GOD. Aww wow, just amazing. Just amazing.
Summary: It's nothing like I ever expected. No one was given any hints about this episode and I find myself... Pretty happy with it. It's a convoluted plot, that's for sure, but it was fun as all heck. Scary! I mean, heart pounding, VERY close to the Midnight episode scary, but good! Random! Oddly randomly, I really don't know where to rank this episode. It feels a bit like it was thrown in just to have an episode, but that also doesn't necessarily make it bad.
I do think a lot of it was cushioned by some really good acting and characterization. The plot was slow going in a strange way, once again cushioned by nostalgia and everyone's need to see the tenth Doctor and Donna again. BUT, episodes like this make me excited (and nervous) to see how RTD is going to handle a brand new Doctor.
I will have a speech about RTD keeping the Timeless Child. A very long speech. But know that I, personally, am very thankful.
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
CW vent on creative pursuits & mental health
Lately, I'm feeling so overwhelmed and yet also like I'm not doing enough at the same time. I've got like 4 personal projects I'm trying to work on but I don't really feel like I'm doing enough?
Or more like, I don't really know what I'm doing, but, I know no one ever really does.
But all of those projects were pursued with the intent to enable me to have a creative form of expression. To fight against this deeply rooted notion that my place is in the background and I deserve to be quiet, and silent.
I have worlds I want to build, stories to tell, I have people I want to help with my own learned experience and resources. I want to act, I want to exist, and not just be some name on a list. I feel compelled to make something because I *feel* it inside wanting to come out, I just, don't know how.
And fuck, I know with a bit of honing of my skills there's *something* there that's gonna really have an impact. The problem is just figuring out....what that is. I do a lot of things pretty decently that have made a difference in a few folks, but I can't seem to...focus on anything enough to refine it further.
Live streaming is going well enough, I think? People seem to love my voice and my charm, and it introduces folks to new games while raising money for charity. Not a lot of money, but some. But I only seem to have time to stream once a week, and it takes a lot of energy to be "On" for so long.
There's voice acting for a NSFW animation because I know I have "that voice" and it might be fun to see people's reactions when its all done. But at the same time that kinda feeds into the whole "meat market" mentality that im not super fond of. I already have been pursued, used, and abused because of my looks, and I'm afraid of my voice contributing to people not seeing *me*, but just the hot girl they wanna fuck.
There's indie game work for a beautiful queer story, and I want so desperately to see it ship, but I've never had so much responsibility before. I keep finding myself paralyzed when I think about how much work will have to go into this "small" game, over years. I worry about letting the other devs down, even though they have told me its okay if i never contribute to the game. I just wish I had more time, or energy to really write some awesome code, but its so hard after spending 8 hours during the day juggling meetings and design docs and obtuse code bases. Its hard to code more after coding all day, even if the mind is willing, the body ain't moving.
And then it all goes back to personal art. It seems simple, self reliant, no pressures. But there's so much emotional baggage I still push thru left from folks no longer in my life, like it took me hours for me to soothe myself enough to just open CSP for the first time this year. Trying not to trauma dump, but, fuck I've just been through a lot, I've been treated terribly before, and unfortunately the pursuit of art was tied closely to those events and those traumas.
The issue now, though, is more of what I had before the incident, where I have the vision of the art piece in my head, but my hands and my technical knowledge aren't far enough to actually make the piece. Its like seeing a finished game, wanting to make your own, but not knowing how to navigate a game engine. I know I have things to learn, but I struggle with identifying the what.
And I just get overwhelmed. Then my attention swaps to another venture, makes a few steps, and I get overwhelmed again. It doesn't feel like I'm going anywhere or accomplishing anything.
I think I'm seeing a lot of paths I can take but I see the length of each path on the grand scale, and it makes it hard for me to just stick to one and identify first, little steps.
Worst part is I know so much of this is a problem of my own creation lol. No one is making me do this! I can totally just, work and vibe and play games and kiss girls and be fine. But fuck, I want more, and I wanna make something. I don't even really care if it has a big or small impact, I just can't let life pass by constantly being a....small silent pushover. Im not that type of fuckin person. Im no ones arm candy, or wallet, or fuck toy. Im not gonna let anyone control me like that ever again.
My beauty, my worth, is my mind and its words. And I'll find a way to let it speak, and thrive, and blossom. To fully claim my identity, my personality, and let it be seen and heard.
I don't know how, but I'll figure out something. I'll figure out my forward.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fansub Translation Quality of Fukou-kun wa Kiss suru shika nai Episode 1
Since I got asked about that one. Technically I was meaning to look at episodes beyond just the first (I did watch up to episode 4), but later on it got incredibly hard to actually still pay attention to the subs at all. Even with rewinding a few times for the purpose I still wound up not to be watching out for them too attentively. The reason?
......... I completely forgot this was the penguin show I was planning to avoid for the time being. And then it even comes to serve up a penguin plush dakimura on the regular? Argh!!
... anyway, that was supposed to be about translations.
The TL;DR: They are very solidly competent.
I wouldn't say they are god tier or master class translations, because they clearly still feel like translations (brilliant translations for me are those that make you forget that you are reading a translation). But that's perfectly fair here, since this isn't professional nor official translation and there is also a disclaimer on their site already informing you beforehand of what is to be expected. Punctually, there were a few lines I liked better from the Viki version of episode 1, but on the whole these subs win by a landslide.
Some things that picked my attention in order of appearance:
Much more English sounding English. The phrasings in general read much more rounded. There are still some spots that felt awkward to me, but they weren't far less numerous than the Viki version. In some cases, it ditches some nuances of the source in favor of it. Knowing when to how best cut your losses to preserve a smoother, natural reading flow is a skill in translation I very much respect. (As that's also the department I'm worst in myself.)
Sign translations: Not only are there more than Viki had, they are ON the signs. I've heard this is very much a headache to actually sub, which is why official streams in anime ditch it on the regular. That's a nice to have since the show does have a few plays with typography and showing line chat convos. It does cut costs by not subbing signs when they are being read out loud. That might be a bit confusing potentially, but is also nice to not overplaster the actual frames unnecessarily.
I liked the Viki translation better for the register change of boku->ore in episode 1 ("Dropping the sweet act, here’s my actual introduction") directly after the fake more as a localization. The fansubs goes the route of simply dodging it altogether. ("I... no my real profile) Which reads a little bit awkward, but still not as awkward as the weirdest the Viki offered far more often.
It uses last name usages as spoken and honorifics. Personally I don't rank the preservation of these as highly as many (since they detract from the invisibility of the translation itself), but if you don't have the skills to replace the flavors with local means, I do like preservation more than a clusterfuck of an inconsistent mess. Here, unlike Viki person references are consistent.
Otherwise, register changes in speech (specifically mostly Kouta's pronouns and rude/polite speech) are generally dodged or ignored. The loss here seems not huge to me, tho, since almost all talks are among same age peers and is mostly marking a difference for Kouta. This show is full of overacting, so the shifts of his modes are very obvious with the actor's grimaces and voice intonation, even without the grammar.
One that is also ditched are the anglicisms within Japanese (like how the Professor uses some of them for the introduction game) which make him kinda try sound more hip). But Viki didn't do that either, it's just more noticeable here because it attempts more in terms of preserving. It's pretty minor nuance and not plot relevant, so whatever.
The puppy/whiny (?) speeches that stretch vowels get preserved by getting translated with the ~ to indicate the prolongation. This is usually not something you ever learn in school to use, so it usually won't show up in any more official translations. It (I think) stems mostly from comics/manga, but using it here is pretty clever. (The show is a manga adaption to begin with, audacious enough to even have them literally read about themselves in the drama and the show style itself is also very cartoonish.)
"Keeping my interactions shallow" (fansub) vs. "I don't get close to people" (Viki), the fansubs are more literal here. But also manage to put the phrasing still sound rounded English.
"It's not laughing matter" nicely English sounding localization of that very Japanese expression (シャレにならない). The Viki one went more a dodging route that is okay, but this one is definitely more pretty and displays knowledge about local witty expressions.
what a drag (Viki), vs. boring (fansubs) about the party. A bit nitpicking, but Kouta sounds annoyed and rude/condescending in his intonation and even dropping the i of 怠い (tarui, dull, bothersome, pain in the ass) so I prefer the Viki one.
Just make some small talk and bounce (Viki) vs. get through it safely (fansubs), the latter is more accurate to the meaning and focuses on the safety aspect, the more free take of Viki's preserves more of the rude way of Kouta looking at other people, so both are kind of nice. Take your preferred flavor.
It feels like as if the fansub translator does not like the わけない (wake nai) expression. It gets dodgy in both cases that show up in episode 1 (right after the fake intro implodes and before the girl comes to sap him for being a presumed stalker), and I think the Viki's "Yeah as if" and "Of course, I still got it" are more pointed in how it's preserving this sarcastic salty tone. (This is more in the nitpicking realm, tho, the fansubs versions lose nothing essentially important.)
how well you anull my bad luck (Viki) vs. testing the effectiveness of your misfortune wards (fansub), the latter is more literal and sounds a bit more like a mouthful, so I like the Viki one better.
This guy is unaware of his own nature is decidedly better than Viki's ladykiller that just sounds weird for Kouta being in a BL to say that with effects to himself. It does lose out on the triple serving nuance of the deprecating tone, but this is where you better cut your loses before it becomes something just weird. (I still think it's just a compromise though, since it's such a mouthful and in a later episode the term gets mentions again and there the sentence sounds awkward. But I don't really have any better idea either. If it was a pedestrian shoujo "obtuse ladykiller" would have actually worked pretty great.)
This one also went for formidable for osoroshii like Viki. Now I'm kind of low key starting to question my own English. (osoroshii literally means dreadful. In this context. You say that when somebody is way too good in something, and you are expressing that you have to be very much on alert around them. The word formidable in English struck me more like a showcase of respect?)
I want you to go out with me~ screws even attempting the ambiguity of the Japanese expression and goes straight for the kill. (Also additional ~ for the girlyness.) I was actually surprised how well that works even being that clear. The camera angle for that line is in PoV from Naoya, so just going for what he's perceiving at that moment works out perfectly fine.
If you're his lover, you'd kiss him right? sounds a bit awkward third person. I liked the more concise factual sounding "Couples normally kiss, right?" from Viki better.
On a side note, in case somebody's interested. (Because PENGUINS, damn it.)
ペンギン (pengin)
is the Japanese word for them. The pen usually gets pronounced like the English pen (as in pen and paper). Kouta stresses the e more like as in PENG-gin (peng as in like the sound of a gunshoot peng), which is his puppy bubbly overly too happy kinda girlish mode.
And also since it has come to penguins, me feels very much compelled to point any penguin-inclined reader that can stomach anime over to Mawaru Penguindrum with its absolute overload of penguins. (And the origin of penguins being able to make me this silly.)
(Am I whining that I am back to waiting for the upcoming Re:Cycle movies I had successfully pushed out of my mind so far? I probably am.)
#drama#jdrama#fukou kun wa kiss suru shikanai!#mr unlucky has no choice but to kiss#japanese drama#japanese translation#english translation#anime#mawaru penguindrum#ramblings
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fic Writer Interview
I was tagged by @forerussake - thank you for thinking of me on this one! Sorry I'm so late to get back on the draft (while ao3 is down I should be drawing or writing but it's nearly bedtime and I am trying to stop refreshing those pages)
name/nicknames: Never actually had a nickname, irl or anywhere else. Even my 'name' here means 'who the hell are you'
fandoms: That I'm soaking up now or have in the past? many -and I've considered writing for a few, but have only actually followed through with Guardian/Zhen Hun
two shots?: One is never enough
most popular multi-chapter fic: I've only written one, ever (unmoored) - but it is a decent length @ 41k and 13 chapters with related drawings and an epilogue that I keep tacking more bits onto. I'm not sure that it's popular with more than a few people (I think the prolonged angst drove off a lot of potential readers) but there have been some really lovely and enthusiastic comments that always make me smile whenever I go back to it. It was massively therapeutic for me, regardless
actual worst part of writing: Getting started. Like with a lot of other things, thinking about doing the thing is a lot worse than just doing the thing
how do you choose your titles: I like relatively vague words that float up on their own from the vague sense I have of particular moments. They tend to describe themes fairly well without much work
do you outline?: Absolutely. And I keep a whole separate doc just for a backup of outlines and notes only. But then in the working doc I'll space the whole thing out- and I've learned that taking it one bit at a time and just writing almost stream of consciousness for each section, walking away from it all, then coming back later and sorting through the mess like a pile of puzzle pieces seems to work pretty well. Trying to micromanage everything and do things in order, in writing at least, seems to be a big waste of energy for me. But sometimes just taking a disaster of a paragraph and shifting sentences around a little will make a huge difference
ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice?: I need new ideas. I've been too busy just taking things in lately, watching/reading DMBJ when not drained by work. I've never been that good at being a passive observer, though, so at some point there will be new ideas to get out, whatever they are
callouts @ me: I need to stop telling myself I'll remember things. I already have a habit of writing things down for work, but I really need to do it more often for personal life stuff. This goes for writing, drawing, and music practice in addition to all the dumb chores I need to get done
best writing traits: Not sure - I think sometimes I'm good with describing emotionally-tinged scenes (as opposed to action or dialogue). It does feel like I go too far and get kind of heavy-handed a lot of the time, though
spicy tangential opinion: I think it's better to read WIPs and even sometimes abandoned unfinished work than to swear off anything incomplete, as much as it can hurt sometimes - they can still be inspiring. Even though I totally understand the reluctance
I do not know how or who I should tag for a thing like this, but instead maybe when ao3 is back up I'll return to my old haunts and go on a commenting spree
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
#JusticeforWildGrinders
Do you remember the TV show Wild Grinders?
It's this old Nicktoon created by skateboarder Rob Dyrdek, in case you didn't know. It's no longer on TV, or anywhere else for that matter... You can only see it on Amazon Prime Video or this kid's streaming site called Kidoodle.tv, as far as I know. I used to really enjoy that show when I was younger, but I'm aware that not everyone does. I believe it is still only me and a few other users who watch and enjoy it.
I decided to watch this show again a few months ago, and it's still pretty good; however, there are some things I want to say about it.
Let me begin by discussing the characters.
The designs were rather simplistic, with only their stereotypical personalities serving as inspiration. The art style was most likely influenced by The Nutshack, a way worse show! When it came to the personalities, the characters were somewhat bland and one-note. We learn about their backstories and certain facts about them in some episodes, but we don't learn much about their personalities.
Then there's the humor. The jokes weren't the best, but I thought some of them were funny. They were also a little odd and nasty, especially when it came to Meaty (Rob's dog) farting. I don't really watch any of Rob's other shows, so I'm not sure whether this is his sense of humor or what.
I was reading some reviews on the Internet Movie Database, and one person complained that the show didn't do a good job of portraying skateboarding. I'm not familiar with skateboarding, but this one is. He said that, in addition to doing several actual tricks, they also performed the physically impossible. This could be because Rob is the crew's only skater.
I'd also like to point out that the Flash animation in this show is probably some of the worst I've ever seen. I'm not anti-Flash; in fact, I enjoy Flash animation. It is the people who use it. But, as Mr. Enter once said, “Good writing can save bad animation, but bad writing can never be saved by good animation.” And I believe the same thing.
To make this show better, instead of random events, they could have given the storyline more structure. I would also suggest giving the characters more personality, including backstories and more unique designs. They should've also hired more full-time skaters for the crew so that they could be better educated on skating. They invited some other skaters to guest star, and they could have definitely asked them for skating tips. I also wish the show kept Jackknife and Emo Crys' previous voices and characteristics. I'm not a fan of Jackknife's southern American-sounding voice, but I don't mind Emo Crys'. Finally, the animators should have taken more training on how to use Flash more effectively. Apart from my ranting, this show had the potential to be amazing if Rob and the rest of the crew put more effort into it.
#wild grinders#this show deserves more love#justice for wild grinders#nickelodeon#nicktoons#flash animation#justice#2012#this show deserves better#skateboarding#mr enter#internet movie database#rob dyrdek
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
You don't have a respond but since you said you were okay w/ people sending asks...
I think the problem with the dteam comes down to them being immature and a bit egotistical... And it makes sense! When you blow up and have everyone telling you how great you are, it makes sense. I still think Dream makes great videos, and he seems like a good guy, but this is just one of those things. Seeing some of the clips where he says he thinks noxcrew is biased just makes him seem like egotistical, like it really is all about him and not that 10 people dc. Whatever... I think he def needs to work on that.
They absolutely also have to have SOME responsibility with their fans. The fact that they don't discourage this at all, and even fan the flames is kinda what gets me. You can complain and be upset, whatever, but when you do you're aware that people are going to get attacked to 'defend' you, right???? Idk, if I heard ANYONE was getting called slurs even somewhat on my behalf I'd say something immediately. I DOUBT they don't know, and I get that it's scary, but it just... It just seems supremely shitty to me. And it does look bad when they're proper adults especially.
It's so easy to keep your opinions to yourself until you're in private.... You can complain and vent to your friends when people won't get harassed as a result.
Plus the only thing that made this hilarious for me was the fact that Wilbur was absolutely miserable and in distress for this happening and it was amazing. Dream? Scott? Noxcrew??? Nah, I just saw Wilbur stuck in his own personal hell. GG tho good luck with that
The fact that Minecraft Monday had ACTUAL money on the line and people take this more seriously..... It's sad but just so so funny. People are so out of touch.
The worst part about big fandoms, or stans, like Dream's is that even if they and his friends need to hear this criticism they won't bc everything negative is taken as an anti who is awful.... I think Scott and Noxcrew definitely should have some sort of intervention. They have the right to when they're literally being called slurs.... It's ridiculous that it's gotten to the point where Scott acknowledged it would happen no matter what he did. Just really sad.
But yeah. Bottom line, the dteam make good content, but they NEED to grow up and mature before it completely ruins everything... This is one of those cases where all of the attention has made them worse, I think. In comparison, it's so easy to be mature about these things. Ccs are upset with the decisions, but they shut the hell up and move on bc it's just a game and they're meant to be having fun. Wilbur was genuinely distressed when they said they'd be doing ace race again, but he didn't say anything after complaining in the game chat once.
And if dteam doesn't see how complaining about all this is fanning the flames.... Yikes. Yeah, they should be able to talk about whatever and for it to be fine, but it's not. So they shouldn't. Their fans, or at least some of them, will take it too far so it's their responsibility to negate that. I often think of streaming as babysitting or teaching, bc that's really what it feels like sometimes. Chats gets put in time out, literally, it's pretty funny when you think about it. But dteam have rarely, to my knowledge, ever even really 'disciplined' any part of their fanbase seriously. Which sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I've been watching Ranboo for awhile and I remember him having to work on making his chat respectful and everything, and even then it's not perfect! But at least he did something!
Just the very clear difference between literally all of the other ccs involved and dteam says enough, I think. Either everyone needs an MCC timeout (which they'd probably blame on Scott and Noxcrew 'having it out' for dream as well) or they need a dteam MCC timeout if they don't shape up. I've watched mcyt for awhile, actually watched mccs not as long, but I never saw this much drama about mcc before dream and sapnap starting shit talking the event. They literally command an army and don't even realize. When you have that much influence.... Everything you say matters.
Anyway someone should bring back Minecraft Mondays I'd probably cry laughing, and it would remind me of the old days :')
If you read all of this.... I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I usually don't do this lol
anon ur based and ur totally okay! safe space, safe nice discourse area with the little bumper teacups set up for u all. handing u a nice gumball if u would like one. i saw someone tweet “we need them” with a picture of the silver shittalkers team and i was like. oh cool so we’re being completely devoid of self awareness now i see how it is
19 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
destino0
Road Trip: Ruta del Sol Ecuador
gungambled
gambling QUEEN
alisonxbrie
rewrite the stars.
swiftmash
Swiftmash
80xnmusic
80Xn