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spoilmesweetieforficssake · 11 months

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Hiii

I have to say that I love your work. I was reading your last story where Mel gets overprotective with the pregnant reader and I have a idea.

The reader is just in fact pregnant, will be a solo parent and is so in love with Mel and thinks Mel could never love them back.

Can you make it with a happy ending, please? Thank you so so much!

You love my work? *Grins like an idiot* Positive comments like that make for a very happy writer!

I'll be honest, your prompt hasn’t been the easiest thing in the world to write (which isn't to say I haven't enjoyed it - I have!) and I hold my hands up now and admit I that what I know about pregnancy comes from Grey’s and Holby, hence, things might feel a bit detached from reality and out of sync with a ‘normal’ pregnancy timeline. But hey, I’m no doctor, I’m just some little lesbian who dabbles about with word documents in her spare time so I hope you enjoy where this goes!

(Also, I know this request came off the back of another pregnant reader prompt. In my head this became a different story altogether. I do, however, have a plan to carry on the other fic with a few little one shots in the same verse.)

~*~

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!” you groan as you pace in the tiny bathroom. You jump at a sudden knock on the door.

“You all right in there?”

A voice you’d recognise anywhere. Melissa. “Just peachy!” you call back, trying to sound as cheerful as you can muster in the midst of your breakdown.

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s how my day’s going when I say fuck fifty times too!” she drawls. “You’re a worse liar than Janine! Come on, open up.”

You can’t face her right now. You can’t face anyone right now. “I’m fine, honest,” you protest. “I just…need a minute?”

“You sure?” comes the red head’s voice, soft and full of concern. It makes you want to cry even more than you already do. As much as Melissa puts up a tough façade, once she lets you in, you’re in. You need to hide a body, she brings the shovel. You need to make someone into a body, she brings the bat to make it happen.

“Yeah,” you sigh, leaning your head against the wall. You hear her footsteps as she retreats. You take a minute. Many minutes, in fact, before finally turning to the mirror and making sure you look presentable. Taking a final deep breath, you push the door open, only to halt as you see Melissa leaning against the wall opposite, scrolling through her phone.

“You look just peachy,” she comments, eyebrow raised as she pushes away from the wall. “Come on. I’m not that scary. You can tell me.”

“Are you kidding?” you hiss. “You’re terrifying!”

She merely rolls her eyes. “Yeah, only when I’m not on your side and…well…you know, I’m on your side.”

You tear up a bit at that. Fucking hormones, you think to yourself. You’re still note quite sure what you did that landed you lucky enough to be friends with her. Sometimes, you wish you weren’t. It would be so much easier to be in love with her if she wasn’t nice to you.

Stepping back into the bathroom, you jerk your head, indicating for her to follow.

“You know I don’t normally sneak off into the bathroom with pretty girls, right?” she smirks. “Especially at work with all those innocent little minds around.”

You could almost wish she was flirting, if you weren’t holding a fucking grenade tucked behind your back. You’ve fucked this up big style.

“Seriously, what’s up?” she asks after a moment when you don’t say anything.

You pull the pregnancy test out of your pocket.

“Fuck,” she breathes.

“Yeah,” you sigh, sitting on the close lid of the toilet. “Fuck.”

“I…didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”

You don’t look up, not wanting to chance seeing disapproval on her face.

“I’m not,” you admit. “It was the last time I went home,” you mumble. “One stupid night with an old ex.”

The tears that have been gathering in your eyes start to fall as you feel a gentle hand on your shoulder, rubbing soothingly.

“What the hell am I meant to do now?”

You hear your phone chime and subtly slip it from your pocket. You’d tried to call your ex, resorted to a voicemail and when that got no response you’d finally messaged him. That had been four days ago.

Seeing his name on the screen, you quickly open the message, only for your face to fall. You knew it would come as a surprise to him. Hell, it had to you too. But you hadn’t expected him to be quite so brutal in his reply. You read the words again, not quite able to comprehend why he’s being so cruel.

Shoving the device back in your pocket you take a deep breath, willing the tears not to spill from your eyes. The last thing you need is for the kids to see you cry and ask you what’s wrong.

Instead, what you find is Barb crossing the lunch hall, quietly asking if you can give her a hand with something. You nod dumbly, letting her lead you out into the hallway. She remains in the doorway where she’s able to still keep an eye on the kids.

“Is everything okay?”

You quickly wipe at your eyes. “Just a message from my ex,” you sniffle, looking up at her. By the blank look on her face you realise those words mean nothing to her. She doesn’t know. You thought for sure with how close she is with Melissa the red head would have told her, but it would appear that’s not the case. “I’d messaged with some news and he didn’t take it well,” you go on, keeping your words deliberately vague, not quite sure Barb would approve.

She puts a gentle hand on your arm. “Why don’t you go and take a moment, I can handle things here.”

Nodding, you thank her before slinking off to the bathroom. Inside, you close the lid of the toilet and sit with your head in your hands. It’s starting to feel like an all to familiar position.

“What did that asshole say?”

You look up from the worksheets on your desk as Melissa marches into your classroom.

“Barb said you got all upset at lunch duty after a message from your ex?”

You sigh. “I always knew he was a bit of a dick, but I didn’t expect this…” Reaching for your phone, you open the message and hold it out to her. You really don’t want to read it again.

“Where do I find this guy?” she growls, slamming your phone down on the desk.

“You don’t!” you warn. You’ve seen her temper. Your ex wouldn’t stand a chance.

“Seriously? You’re gonna let him say things like that to you?” she asks, stabbing a finger at your phone.

“He didn’t ask for this!” you hiss.

“Neither did you!” she’s quick to remind you.

You let out a long breath, sitting with your head in your hands. When you finally look up again, she hasn’t moved. “You didn’t tell Barb.”

She frowns, confused at the abrupt subject change. “What?”

“At lunch duty today, she took me aside because I was upset, but she didn’t know why,” you say. “You didn’t tell her.”

“You trusted me enough to tell me,” she says softly, moving around your desk until she can perch on the edge of it close to you. “I wasn’t about to break that trust and tell anybody. You might wanna think about telling her though if you want someone else on your side.”

“But...”

“But what?” she asks.

“What if she doesn’t approve? It’s not exactly an ideal situation,” you mumble.

She smiles softly down at you, her hand finding your shoulder. “Oh hon, Barb has her morals, but she knows the world ain’t perfect. You tell her you’re about to pop a kid she’ll have your back. Believe me, she knows pregnancy ain’t no picnic.”

“I could make this all go away,” you say in a whisper, hanging your head.

“If you were seriously thinking that you’d have done it already,” comes the red head’s softly spoken words a few moments later.

You look up, tears in your eyes. You know she’s right. “I’m gonna be a single mom.”

Melissa pulls you into her side, her arm settling more firmly around your shoulder, letting you bury your face into her sweater. “You’ve been here long enough to know we’re a family here at Abbott, right?”

*~*

“Try this,” says Melissa, holding out a Tupperware tub in your direction.

You turn away. You want to at least be polite, but at this stage your morning sickness is all round the clock sickness and everything and nothing seems capable of setting it off.

She doesn’t move. “Seriously, Barb could barely eat a thing with Taylor, but she could eat this.”

“I still haven’t vomited!” Not exactly what you meant to say when you arrived in her classroom door after the school bell, but the words are out before you can stop them. You’re embarrassed to find tears in your eyes. “Shit!” you hiss, wiping them away quickly. “I was never someone who cried, now I’m crying at everything.”

Melissa just chuckles. “I’m gonna take it as a compliment. You want me to make you some more?”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” you say, even as your mouth waters at the thought of it.

“You’re eating for two and it’s apparently the only thing you can eat. I’m making more,” she tells you, her tone not allowing for argument.

“Thank you.” You manage the words you had meant to say when you arrived in her classroom.

You come out after your first scan, grainy picture in hand and sink onto the first bench you find. Yes, you knew you were pregnant, but you’ve just heard the heartbeat of the tiny life growing inside you. You literally have a picture in your hand as proof of the tiny human you’ve created. It makes it feel so much more real.

You’re aware of someone sitting next to you, but your eyes remain on the picture in your hand. It’s not until you feel another presence sit on the bench on your other side that you look up to find Melissa and Barbara sat on either side of you.

“You okay?” asks the red head. “You were outta that school like a man on the run when the bell went.”

“I’m having a baby,” is all you say, your voice shaky. “I mean, I knew it was but…this makes it feel so much more real.” You wave the picture in your hand, not protesting as Melissa slips an arm around your shoulders and pulls you to her.

Barb takes the picture from your shaking hand. “Real and scary, right?”

You nod.

“But amazing too,” smiles the kindergarten teacher. “This little life inside you is a miracle and as terrifying as it seems right now, I promise you it won’t feel that way. You’ll see.”

You manage a watery smile.

“Now,” says Melissa. “How about we go have a virgin cocktail to celebrate that little miracle?” She takes the print out from her friend’s hand. “And someone can explain to me which end of this jelly bean is which?”

You knew it would happen sooner or later, but it comes as a shock the first time it happens. You jump, eyes growing wide.

“You okay?” asks Melissa already halfway out of her chair. It’s just the two of you in the break room; she on a free period and your kids in PE.

“Yeah,” you nod. “I think…I think it just kicked.” It happens again and you press a hand to your stomach. “It did, it definitely did!” You look up and find her barely a couple of feet away, her hand reaching out before she quickly snatches it back.

“Can I?” she asks sheepishly. “I mean would it-“

“You wanna feel it?” you ask.

“Is that weird?” she asks, screwing her face up.

You shake your head, smiling as you reach to take her hand and guide it to where she can feel it. You know the moment she does as a wide smile spreads across her lips.

You laugh, tears in your own eyes as you watch her look down at your stomach in wonder. You can’t help but think about how you’re sharing such a huge moment with her. Of how she’s been there through a lot of your big moments.

She looks almost giddy as she looks up at you, tears in her brilliant green eyes. She looks adorable and you could almost believe… You shake your head. That’s dangerous territory. She’s a friend being supportive, nothing more.

“What if it’s not even human?” you ask, aware you’re being ridiculous but unable to shake the fear. Today is your next scan. Today is the day you’re going to find out the sex and see actual features. You’d be too terrified to ask the first time around, still too overwhelmed at hearing the heartbeat of the tiny life growing within you.

Melissa shrugs, “So you have a cute baby Yoda and get on with it.”

“You know the baby is actually called Grogo, right?”

The red head rolls her eyes. “Not the point, Jacob.”

“Extra fingers and toes would probably come in handy,” Ava chimes in. She’s not here for the baby chat, but rather, the pink and blue cupcakes Janine brought in. “What? At least the kid’ll have a talking point?”

Barb sighs, shaking her head. She turns to you, reaching for your fidgeting hands. “Don’t listen to them. It’s going to be fine. Everything was just fine the first time around, you’ve had no reason to worry, no symptoms that are out of the ordinary and you’ve even started to feel the baby move.”

You nod, releasing the breath you didn’t realise you’d been holding. Melissa had been right, Barb did indeed have your back. She’d been your voice of reason when you panicked, the one who was able to reassure you that as strange as it all felt, what you were going through was absolutely normal.

More than just being right about Barb though, Melissa had been right about your little Abbott family. Yes, there had been a few shocked faces when you’d told everyone, but they hadn’t judged. They’d been helpful, kind and more patient than you often deserved.

“Hey.”

You look up to find Melissa leaning against your doorframe. You’d been too busy trying to cram everything into your handbag while keeping a lid on your anxiety to hear her approach.

“I just wondered if you might want a ride to your scan?” she offers. “Not that you can’t drive yourself,” she adds quickly, stepping further into your classroom. “Just, you know…wondered if you wanted some company? You seem pretty nervous and I didn’t want you to think you had to go in there alone like you did before.”

By the time she’s finished speaking she’d standing before you, wringing her hands.

“You’d really come?” you ask, your voice quiet and shaky even to your own ears.

She smiles softly at you. “Course I would.”

“It’s a girl.”

Those three words are enough to bring tears to your eyes. It’s not as if you’d been particularly hoping for a girl, but somehow the knowing really brings it home. You’re going to have a little baby girl.

Melissa lets out a long, slow breath, blinking against the tears that have gathered in her own eyes. It’s a battle she’s been losing since she heard the baby’s heartbeat sound loud and clear. She looks from the screen showing your little girl to your face and back to the screen again as she presses a kiss to your hair.

You sit on the edge of the uncomfortable hospital bed, holding the print of your scan between your fingers.

“They said she was perfect,” you smile softly, stroking your finger over the image.

Melissa puts your bags down on the edge of the bed, moving until she can see the picture in your hand. “She is,” she smiles, looking from the image to your smiling face. She’s moving before she can comprehend what she’s doing, and suddenly her lips are pressed to your own.

The squeak of surprise from you is what brings her back to reality ands he quickly steps back, immediately apologising.

You reach out, catching her hand. “Don’t apologise…or at least, don’t apologise unless you didn’t mean anything by that.”

Taking a deep breath, the red head steps forward, looking terrified but trying to be brave. “I meant it,” she admits softly, reaching out to cup your cheeks, thumbs tracing your cheekbones.

Your own trembling hands find purchase on her hips, the feel of her strong and solid and real before you grounding. “Really?”

She nods, tears gathering in her eyes once more. “I don’t know when it happened,” she starts, her voice soft, but sure. “But I think somewhere along the line I might just have fallen in love with you and that little girl we’ve yet to meet.”

You sniffle, tears already making tracks down your cheeks once more. “Any hope I had of ever having a chance with you I lost the day I saw that positive test.” You shift to wrap your arms around her, burying your face into her stomach. You feel her hands stroke soothingly up and down your back, the gentleness of the gesture only serving to make you cry harder.

When you’d arrived at the hospital you’d half expected Melissa to wait in the car, but she hadn’t even hesitated before she was out of the truck and moving round to open your door. The only time she had hesitated was when the nurse had called you in, unsure whether you would want her there for such a private moment. When you’d held out your hand, however, she’d been out of her chair in a heartbeat, linking her fingers with your own. As you’d settled on the bed, she’d been right there, a comforting arm around your shoulder, cheek pressed to your hair as her eyes took in the little miracle on the screen.

You hadn’t been sure then whether your tears were of relief that everything was fine, that she was fine, or whether you were simply overwhelmed at how different it felt to have someone, to have Melissa by your side for this scan.

“I wouldn’t lose hope just yet if I were you,” she says softly.

Loosening your grip on her, you look up to find her smiling down at you. It feels too good to be true.

Your little bubble is burst by the nurse returning. “Sorry! I didn’t realise you guys were still in here. I was just coming back to clean up. I’ll give you some time.”

Melissa shakes her head. “No, don’t be silly. We were just on our way out.” She lifts your coat, holding it out to you as you stand before helping you into it. With a soft touch, she adjusts your collar before lifting your bag along with her own and reaching out to take your hand as though it’s perfectly normal.

Smiling at the nurse as you leave, you can only look at the woman next to you in wonder, feeling as though you’re floating as she leads you back to the car.

With the doors closed, the reality of the last few minutes begin to sink in.

“We should probably talk.”

You tense up at those words, and Melissa sees it. She’s quick to reach over and take your hand.

“Why don’t you come back to mine and I’ll make dinner and we can talk?” she suggests. “Just some food, some conversation. No pressure, no nothing, just talk?”

As if on cue your stomach growls, even as it twists anxiously at the conversation that you know is to come.

You expect dinner to be awkward, but as you watch Melissa move around her kitchen as she brings the meal together you can’t help but relax. She looks happy and content as she cooks, and your heart almost bursts each time she checks in that you’re okay with a new ingredient. She says nothing of the tears that once again gather in your eyes as she casually comments that she can’t be upsetting the little princess by feeding her things she doesn’t like.

It's only after dinner when you’re sat at opposite ends of Melissa’s couch that things become awkward.

Melissa finally breaks the silence with a loud sigh. “Okay, I planted one on you so only fair I go first.” She takes a deep breath, turning to face you more fully on the couch. “I don’t know when it happened. Hell, I didn’t expect it to happen, but I meant what I said at the hospital. I’m in love with you and that little jelly bean. I’m not expecting you to feel the same, but I want to be there for you both even if-“

“I never really thought you could feel that way,” you say, cutting her off. “Even before,” you pause, gesturing at your every growing bump. “And especially after.”

Scooting forward on the couch, Melissa finds your hand, linking your fingers together. “So it’s not perfect,” she says with a crooked smile. “But it’s real.”

You look down at your joint hands. “Yeah…it’s real.” You find yourself blushing furiously. It feels almost ridiculous to think that somehow, despite everything, she wants this. She wants you.

“You okay? You burning up?”

As Melissa reaches out with her free hand to press the back of her hand to your forehead, checking for a temperature, you find yourself blushing harder. “I’m fine,” you reassure her. “Just thinking…if this is real does that mean you actually want to kiss me?”

At this, the red head grins. “Yeah, this is real. I love you, and yes, that means I want to kiss you.” She holds your gaze as she speaks, her voice steady and sure.

“Even though I look like a beached whale?” you ask.

Melissa shakes her head, chuckling. “You look beautiful.”

You raise an eyebrow at her. “Don’t give me that ‘you’re glowing crap’. I’m a mess.”

“A hot mess,” she smirks right back.

“A huge mess,” you argue.

At this, she rolls her eyes. “Are we just gonna argue about this or can I kiss you again?”

This time, there’s no come back on your lips, only Melissa’s pressed deliciously against your own.

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x reader

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you-cant-fuck-megaman · 7 months

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btw isn't the canon reason for the timeline split caused by Dr. Light having sex and later raising actual flesh-and-blood children? So if you wanted to fuck Dr. Light (which you elaborated isn't possible) you'd basically cause a butterfly effect

while that's popular fanon after a funny meme post on twitter, battle network is not the only timeline where light has children

Fully Charged has IMO the coolest incarnation of Light. he's an absolute hunky bear of a man, he can throw down hand-to-hand with robots himself, he's an actually-present father figure who looks after his children. like, not just father in the metaphorical sense, as in he spawned Suna Light from his loins and so had to have had sex with a lucky-ass woman (potentially multiple times).

i'm sorry you saw me and your mom fighting, sunshine, but she's got a long way to go before she can take on the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. now let both of us get back to training, please.

there's a lot to hate about Fully Charged, but Light ain't one of them.

and then there's Dr. Emilia Right from the pachislot, whom is the actual daughter of Dr. Ligh--pardon, Dr. RIGHT, which means at some point once again, Lright got down with someone and had a lot of fun with them.

Emilia Right owns, she found a busted robot and her first priority was to make her look cute again and then to make her combat ready after that. she's got a red hair like a squirrel and put gadgets into her clothes just for the #aesthetic, potentially implying that Light went best-of-5 at EVO with Street Fighter's C. Viper.

and then there's the archie AU with LaLinde. the archie run's got a lot of good shit about it, but Dr. LaLinde was originally intended to be a darker-skinned woman with a normal introduction, and then her first appearance is The Love Interest

heart backgrounds with dr. light going AHOOGA HOOGAAW AOOOOOOO HA-CHA-CHA-CHA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAA. i'm not about to say that there can't be love interests in media or that women can't be attractive, i too enjoy a nice pair of knockers whenever i can pull myself away from being correct on the internet. but this has the subtlety of a brick hammer hitting another brick hammer with a face drawn on it. two volumes down the line, i can guarantee you they fucked. nothing may have come from it, since ken penders fucked the entire universe, but i think that just means dr. light got pretty handily fucked by extension.

megaman's got a lot of AUs and a lot of split timelines, even oftentimes within the same subseries. capcom can't write a straight timeline to save their life. someone could be holding the NES hostage, holding their dick in the cartridge slot and yelling demands at bob capcom on the phone like "you write a coherent story or i'll blow this bastard's brains out", and then bob capcom still would insist on putting in 3 extremely important characters that are relevant for maybe 2 minutes of cutscenes. and would still conflict with the lore established in Stage 69 of Area 420 in Megaman Zero 0. megaman continuity would STILL be utterly fucked beyond repair.

whether or not Light fucked has no real bearing on it, as you can see--even the fuck timeline has a lot of splits completely unbearing of the simple binary "did/did not" switch. it's a little bit more complicated than that. see, the question is not so much whether the timeline split is caused by Dr. Light having sex, but rather whether he tops, bottoms, or takes it up the ass.

#Dr. Light #Doctor Light #megaman #mega man #rockman #worldbuilding #ask #kkhell

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alhaithamhabibi · 1 year

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𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐊𝐀𝐈'𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐄

ᴍᴇᴇɴᴀ ɴᴏᴛᴇs : didn't expect the nanny!reader to blow up so without further ado, i present you the prequel! idc if lante is ooc in it but it's an alternative timeline and there's always a butterfly effect even if one doesn't want to change a story with their presence. also once again, another long post.

part one is here

❥ honestly, you were nearly done with the novel, with a couple or so pages left. you wanted to reach the ending as soon as possible but perhaps reading the entire novel in one night wasn't a smart idea. and eventually, you just gave into your body's exhaustion and slept.

❥ but when you woke up again, you could hear a woman humming and someone playing with your hair. normally you would wake up and freak out. but the presence was so calming and soothing, you ended up snuggling up to them.

❥ though a scream woke you up completely as you shot up from the bed yet you were held against the woman, clutching you tightly as she whispered words of reassurance. and as you frantically look around, you noticed this wasn't your home and that your body was smaller than it used to be.

❥ clearly, you weren't in your world, and despite your surroundings not showing much, it also showed that. especially with the screams and weapons being used outside the door. not to mention, you're so small. where in the world are you??

❥ so you did as your body naturally reacted to its next scream. hold the woman, assuming she's your mother, tightly and pretend it's a dream. cause it is. right? eventually, you fell back to sleep. but the next time you woke up, you were wrong. ( big surprise )

❥ though you were still confused, you were able to figure out some things quickly enough. the woman that held you was indeed your mother in this world. she's a nanny to one of the many endless children here and your father is probably dead or something. oh well.

❥ as for yourself, you knew you were seven years old and currently a mess on the inside. after that night you won't up into this world, your mother had you stay in your shared room. she would bring meals but it was evident she was scared of what would happen to you if you left.

"mother, i feel rather tired staying here all day. can't i go to work with you?" the question left your lips before you can take it back. you didn't want to seem like a whiny child who only knew how to complain. especially when she overworked herself to provide for both of you.

your mother was too sweet and good for this world so obviously you wanted to protect her. especially in this strange hellish household. but how could you when you don't know the world well enough?

"my little light," your mother brought you closer to her embrace which you eagerly accepted. you looked up at her as she gazed down at you so affectionately and so softly. "just for a few more days. till he leaves alright?"

you didn't know who your mother was referencing but you took it, knowing she would evade the subject. certain subjects seem to be taboo even with the slightest whispers. but you nuzzled into her embrace anyway, "whatever you want, mother, i'll listen to you."

❥ still, it's fine, right? you could try to figure out more about the world you were in despite being unable to leave and find a way out of there. hopefully. wrong once again. because the day your mother deemed it was safe, she took you to her workplace.

❥ well, a room but that counts! only for you to meet certain crimson eyes that belong to a boy who seems to be a few years older than you. and then your mother addressed his full name. lante fucking agriche. why is the female lead's father of the novel you read right in front of you?

❥ is it considered too early to write wills at this age? it is? how unfortunate. new goal! find a way out of this mansion. yet it was thwarted by your mother who told you both that lante's mother chose her to become his nanny at her deathbed and she promised to.

❥ so yeah, the plan isn't it. for now. all you could do is help your mother and make sure that both of you survive. lante can take care of himself, you were sure of it. but the novel never really mentioned lante's backstory since it was more focused on his daughter.

"young master, this is my daughter y/n. she will be joining me to learn as well," your mother dutifully bowed down in respect to the curly-haired boy with scarlet eyes while you just straight up stared at him, dumbfounded.

fuck.

"your daughter doesn't seem to be the bright one, nanny " he coldly remarked as he eyed - no, glared at you. you fumbled a bit before also bowing down to him as your mother gave your age as an excuse.

with a scoff, he only turned back to his book and went back to reading.

"i only wish for you to get along, that's all," your mother attempted to reason with you both. but you were sure that there was nothing that could bond you both together. especially when he was one of the villains in the novel.

"at the very least, both of you stay together so my heart will rest at ease." with just one glance at lante who briefly looked at you before your mother, you both knew it was better to listen to her. maybe you could use him to escape.

❥ but the settings were no different. the black agriche ruled the underworld, his father had many mistresses and wives as he drowned himself in indulgence and treated his kids like crap. even having one of them killed just because they minorly inconvenienced him as you witness. it was utterly horrifying.

❥ and you could see the signs of abuse emerging whenever lante came back from his father's office. the way his half-siblings tried to kill him one way or the other. the lack of health he had just to stay on top. the bruises, cuts, and broken bones that your mother had to attend to, quietly and secretly, into the night.

❥ you felt sorry for him. he was a bastard of a father but no children should ever be placed in this situation. and you could see the small slips of genuine care he held for your mother and occasionally you. well, you weren't exactly affectionate as your mother but you still followed her lead.

❥ lante always did like to show off his intelligence when it came to you and his mother. a brat in some ways, occasionally telling you what he knows. but as much as you hate to admit it, you learned a lot more about the world and the settings from him rather than your own experience.

"such childish handwriting. how will the others ever understand this? a hopeless one, truly," lante criticized as you wrote on the paper the foreign language your small body as acquired.

"perhaps it's because i'm still a child?" you scoffed at him yet you went back to your words and tried to them neatly as possible. don't let him get to you, you reasoned yourself to not strangle him, it's for mother's sanity that i can deal with him.

"and yet when i was your age, my writing brought others down to their knees," he smirked as you glared at him openly now. with your focus on him now, he was able to snatch your papers with one hand and push you at arm's length with the other.

"since you will be a future servant, writing is essential as you become your master's tool. use this," lante muttered as gave the papers back after writing something on it. "the next time i catch you, i expect your writing to be adequate."

you widened your eyes as the writing became easier and you started to understand the words. so carried away, you ended up completing the papers and looked up to see the spot lante took empty. he must have left, you thought as you begin to rush to your mother to show your hard work.

❥ to be honest, you didn't think he held you in high regard as he would for his father and your mother. it was that night you heard a knock in your room and you cautiously opened it, finding lante limping and bleeding. your mother was out, helping the maids with the night shift. so it was just you.

❥ you ushered him quickly into your bed as you clumsily applied the medicine to his wounds. of course, you knew who was the caused of the wounds in which you began to curse out lante's father, absolutely sleep-deprived at this point.

❥ it took lante by surprise but it's not like he disagreed or anything. he just quietly listened to your rambling, not finding you a nuisance for once. after you finished the treatment, you hesitantly offered to escort him back to his room which he haughtily refused.

❥ but you were still stubborn enough to ignore his words and go with him regardless. he called you an idiot but at this point, anyone who didn't listen to him was an idiot and not worth his time to dirty his hands with. it must be your mother's blessing he still let your off the hook.

❥ by the time you got to his room, you entered the room and fixed up his bed for him as he changed in the bathroom. by the time he got out, you were sitting down on the chair beside his bed with a book in your hands.

"you're only twelve, y/n. do you plan on reading me to sleep?" lante grumbled as he tried to get himself comfortable on the bed. the wounds still burn and the crazed eyes of his father haven't left his mind.

"don't be ridiculous," you scoffed as you moved the book from your hands to adjust the blanket as your mother did for you. "i'm reading so it can help me stay up. and so you don't bleed to death if your wounds open up." just as you finished, his hand shot out to catch your small wrist.

"why? why do your curse as my father? why do you act as if you care for me? why bother?" and for a moment, you didn't look lante as the female lead's father but at him as a person. as another kid trying to survive in this cursed household. really...what was the author thinking when creating this sort of setting?

"because," you sighed, "mother cares for you. i see how much you risk for mother and you have my gratitude for that. because if something happens to me or i die, i know mother will be taken care of." it was rather amusing to see that rare shocked expression on his face but you paid no mind to it as you continued, gently prying his hand off your wrist.

"and your father is a bastard who deserves to be stabbed. don't look at me like that, lante, we both know he is one. but it's ridiculous the way he makes the children of the house fight like enemies for his sick pleasure. i never want that on anyone. especially you."

you squeezed his hand softly, yet there was not a smile on your face but a firm look of resolution. it wasn't like your mother's soft look when she gazed at him, he thought, but somehow it still feels like it. like mother, like daughter.

❥ after that, your relationship with him gets better. he's still an insufferable bastard who likes to boast his knowledge and his strength. but if you were curious about something or needed help ( not that you would ever ask ), he'll answer your questions and help you.

❥ in some ways, you were also able to help out lante whether you helps with his wounds or gave a distraction to keep his father's negative attention away from him or provide him information about his other half siblings. and he never said it verbally but you knew he was glad to have someone on his side as well.

❥ it made your mother delightful that the two of you were able to get along despite the occasional bickers. she always told you both you resembled more of actual siblings to which the both of you expressed your disdain for each other much to her amusement.

❥ if anything, it was her who brought you both closer together, and wanted to protect her. simply for lante who never experience familial love, and wanted to monopolize her for himself, and for you who wanted this saintly loving figure to get the hell out of here so she can be happy.

❥ but despite the constant torment and death lingering in the household, you were naive to believe that it wouldn't touch your mother or yourself. until the night your mother's bloody figure was held in your arms the night of your fifteenth birthday.

"mother," you croaked, a lump in your throat preventing you to speak any further. the once lively eyes filled with love and warmth dulled as she struggled to keep living.

you didn't know how it all began as you were quietly celebrating your birthday with your mother and lante. next thing you knew, there were screams about assassins and such. lante went off first, followed by your mother and then you. and all you could see was people running, blood, and dead bodies.

you were separated from your mother in all this chaos only to be reunited with her as lante good you both to stay put in his room as he led them away and fended them off.

and it was a good idea at first only for you to realize the assassins would kill you regardless of status. and you knew it the moment that you saw the assassin head for your way, it was over for you. till your mother stepped in the way and cleanly sliced off his head with a sword she took from the floor.

you marveled at your mother's work but as she staggered forward, you realize only then that she was injured as well. severely. so you could only hold her and uttered the words she wanted to hear the most. all you could do is keep the wound from bleeding. you may have your medical knowledge but you knew there was no way she could live longer with such a deep stab. you were...helpless.

the door slammed open revealing lante, bloody and sweaty, as rushed by your side, to hold your mother's hand. "nanny..." he quietly whispered. it broke your heart, even more, when lante displayed his vulnerability before her. begging her to stay and not leave him alone. you wished you could say the same but your throat remained clogged and the tears you desperately tried to hide ran down your cheeks and onto your mother's.

"lante...y/n...my precious children..." and she breathed one last time with a smile.

❥ the next day, the workers who were still alive took the bodies and had them eaten by the monsters the house had raised. but somehow lante was able to send your mother's body to be cleaned and buried properly with a headstone. and you were beyond grateful for that.

❥ that day, both of you remained passive and stoic under others' watchful eyes only to break down behind closed doors. well, moreso of you than lante. he could only hold you and let his silence comfort you through your trembling body. there was no denying he changed after watching mother pass. but so had you.

❥ no one knew who the enemy was but the duke was evident in not caring whose lives the assassins took other than wanting to teach the assassin caught alive a lesson. and hours later, he was drinking and sleeping with other women again. it was a brutal slap to your face that you had to remember this was the world.

❥ though now you officially served under lante, you were his trusted right hand and confidante despite being a maid. you told him of what you knew from the servants who gossip and in turn, he taught you how to handle business in the household.

❥ the more you learned, the more the ache of wanting to leave the house as years passed by. this placed was filled with memories of both good and bad. and it was painful enough. not only that, lante's change became more evident to that in the novel. he was even more possessive of you but you thought it was because of your mother's death.

❥ eventually, you gained the courage to ask him to resign quietly from the black agriche and live quietly once again. much to your surprise, lante rejected it and left you with that. he kept himself busy with missions and such. but you were still a stubborn one. slowly, you got yourself ready to leave the place. with or without his permission.

❥ the night before your departure, you were violently woken from your bed with screams and wails. blood stained the walls and the floors as servants attempted to run away. with every hallway you turned, you noticed an agriche child on the ground, dead.

❥ you couldn't find lante in his room so you headed to the duke's office instead, not caring if you get killed on the spot. as you opened the door slowly, you held back your screams as you watched lante knock his father down to the ground with a powerful blow.

not trusting your voice, you quietly attempted to leave the room without lante noticing. but it failed as his father groaned in your direction in which lante's head snapped up. he didn't even look bothered at all which shouldn't surprise you. but you were taken aback by that crazy expression on his face.

"it's alright, y/n., come on over," lante extended his hand to you. against the rational side of your mind, you hesitantly walked over to them and took lante's hand. to which he placed the bloodied sword in yours. it was surprisingly heavy and if lante wasn't still holding your hand, you were sure it would be dropped.

"...lante?" you asked, as you turned your head to face him before looking down at the half-unconscious man below you both.

"it was because of him we lost someone we cherished. it was because of this bastard she's not here with us right now. we deserve this. it's only right we take everything away from him and end this. so you and i will do this together."

before you could ask further, lante raised his and your hand that held the sword.

your senses more heightened than ever. the stench of blood and iron clouding this mansion, the rage of the man beneath you for being the main problem for the household, sleepless nights that left you exhausted, the screams that occurred daily as one was dragged to their death, your mother's dead body in your arms, the bloody chaos surrounding this house, the tension between the residents, and realizing this place was no longer home if mother wasn't here.

and you both strike the sword straight into the older man's chest.

it took a while for you to register what you just did and you stepped back from the corpse, only to collapse on your knees. you were gonna get killed for this when the others find out. everything you worked for is gone. and you couldn't...

"y/n," lante kneeled on one knee as he placed bloody hands on either side of your face. there was some sort of maniac glint in his eyes as he proudly smiled at you. it was terrifying. "you can't leave me. not now. not ever. you are to stay by my side."

as you weakly protested, his next words sealed the deal as he held you close. "this is what mother wished for"

#— meena writes #the way to protect the female lead's older brother #lante agriche x reader #platonic ig but you can perceive it as you wish #lante agriche

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icedragonlizard · 4 months

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So, my 4-chapter long "Kirby grants two wishes to Morpho Knight" AU fic has been completed since last week, feel free to give that a read if you'd like! And I said it'd be my last fic for the year of 2023.

Meaning that I'll start on one of these fics in the year of 2024.

I... think I intend to do all of them, but I'm not sure which one I want to do next. Which is why I'm making this poll to see which might spark the most interest for people to look forward to!

These will all be long fics, I feel. They'll each certainly be much more than 4 chapters long.

Allow me to elaborate on the options:

A Tale Of Two Traitors: This will be a story about the friendship of Marx and Magolor. It'll go over the entire timeline of their dynamic: how they first met, how they became friends, how their friendship develops over time, etc. Expect their first-meet event to occur sometime between Milky Way Wishes and RTDL, as the later chapters will then cover after Star Allies and what I feel like is their modern dynamic in the modern day.

I do even have a post that summarizes my dynamic of these two, but voting for this option is a vote for having me write an entire fanfiction out of their dynamic that will cover a lot more details than what this post contains. We may also see several other characters make appearances in this big fanfiction, should I get to it first!

This story will occur in my headcanon universe, as it's not an AU like my "Lost Miracles That Finally Become" fanfiction was.

Dark Stormy Matters: This will take place in an Alternate Universe, similar to my "Lost Miracles That Finally Become" story!

In this story, Kracko undergoes a descent into full-on madness. His extreme disdain for Kirby simply boils over far too much to the point he does something absolutely insane in a desperate attempt to finally get back at the pink puffball that he's been holding a searing grudge against for so long. He willfully becomes an overarching megavillain.

He goes to outer space and makes a wish to a clockwork star to revive Dark Matter. Once Dark Matter revives, Kracko literally lets himself gets possessed by it, and becomes much bigger and stronger. Dark Matter becomes impressed and fond of the hatred that Kracko has inside of him, to the point that he even becomes Dark Matter's new leader! And now, Kracko and Dark Matter have fused together to this story's main antagonist, and as you can imagine, this monster is out to viciously attack Kirby and his friends.

Kracko's hatred is so great that even after fusing with Dark Matter, and due to becoming its new leader, his conscience is still present! His hatred for Kirby becomes even much stronger than it already was, and so he does everything possible to screw over the pink puffball out of spite. He attacks Popstar, he destroys Kirby's house, he attacks numerous other planets, and even personally antagonizes all of Kirby's friends (even ones that live outside of Popstar, such as Ribbon and Susie). He does all these things to try to upset Kirby and to emotionally destroy him by obliterating everything the pink puffball loves. Don't be surprised if this makes Kirby angrier than he's ever been before, especially when he realizes Kracko's motives here.

The Grand Alliance: Like the poll option said, this story will basically be my headcanon adaptation for Star Allies. I've got a bunch of headcanons as to how this plays out! This covers my interpretations of all the dream friends' personalities, and how they all come to join the alliance in stopping the Jambastion cult. Don't be surprised if there's infighting, considering that some dream friends... don't exactly get along very well with one another.

I wouldn't mind spoiling one thing: If you remember Star Allies has a quote for King Dedede saying "I'll be the one to keep the peace!'', he'll be doing that in the story. Dedede and Kirby will be the main ones trying to get all the other dream friends to cooperate, despite whatever beef may be present among them. And so you could imagine many instances of Dedede slamming his hammer onto the ground to enforce peace between two dream friends that don't get along. After all, there is little time for infighting when there's a huge creeping universal threat that everyone needs to take care of first!

----

So, which of these three options interests you the most? Let me know!

#kirby #marx #marx kirby #magolor #kirby super star #kirby super star ultra #kirby's return to dreamland #kirby's return to dreamland deluxe #kracko #kracko kirby #dark matter kirby #zero kirby #zero 2 kirby #dark matter swordsman #kirby star allies #king dedede #meta knight #bandana waddle dee #kirby and the forgotten land

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trojanteapot · 11 months

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Obligatory Infinity Train Fanfic Plug I Guess

I have some new followers since I posted about my Infinity Train cosplay process so I guess now's a good time to plug my boring overly-long fanfics that are mostly sad and stuff.

SHIPPING FICS

RYMIN:

Ain't No Cure For Love: Ryan and Min-Gi perform their first gig in Montreal. Min-Gi wants to confess his feelings. (First fic I ever wrote probably a bit rough now and the only fic without any sort of theme besides "love wins" i guess) It Can't Be Helped: Takes place in the mid-2000s when Ryan and Min-Gi's band have become quite successful and are touring East Asia. Ryan has some cultural identity issues to overcome at the age of like, 40-something. (This one is much much better than the first Rymin fic, and is about more than just shipping. I did a ton of research into Japanese-Canadians and Korean-Canadians for it as well! Shout-out to my partner for his huge role in shaping this fic as he is Japanese-Canadian himself.)

GRIMON:

Raison d'Etre (PART 1) (PART 2): Post-Canon AU where Simon survives the Train. Grace and Simon spend about 4 years apart from each other living their own lives on Earth, but one day Grace shows up randomly in Quebec to pay Simon a visit. Traumatic wounds get reopened, things get emotional, philosophical, maybe even a little... sociopolitical? Also interspersed between Grace and Simon's little dates are flashbacks to the Train that explain exactly how Simon managed to leave the Train in this AU.

I separated it into two halves because the second half contains smut. However, the second half kind of needs to be read for there to be a complete story. The smut is entirely skippable and doesn't contribute to the overarching plot so I do encourage you to read both halves.

(Also of note is that this takes place not in the "present" but in the past (2018), because I am An Old Person(TM) and so I made Grace and Simon millennials. And I also didn't want to write about the pandemic. It's not that noticeable and you can ignore that timeline fuckery if you want.)

True Love Waits: (VERY VERY CURSED) Sort of not a shipping fic? But Grace gets pregnant here and we all know who the father is! So Grace needs to leave the Train before the baby is born. Canon complacent so Simon is dead. (TW: other than pregnancy there's also thoughts of self-harm and mentions of abortion)

Leave It In My Dreams: Grace's sad nightmare in Alma Mater but from Simon's perspective.

Shame On You, Blue-Eyed Fox: Grace lets her guard down and harassed by a rookie cop. Simon finally makes himself useful for once in his entire life. (TW: real world racism obviously.)

GENERAL FICS

Alma Mater: Post-Canon. Tulip starts college, is very typically Tulip about it, but she befriends an older student named Grace Monroe who helps her through it. However, Tulip comes to learn that she and Grace have more in common than they realized at first. Also Jesse and Lake get thrown into the mix and drama ensues. (Mostly canon complacent except for 1. time period, and 2. Grace is from California, not DC, but her parents work in DC.)

Initial State: A side story to Raison d'Etre. After Simon realizes he's wrong he works with the Cat to bring his number down and leave the Train. But this isn't as easy as he thought especially when he meets a denizen he's recently met before, but never expected to meet again (becausehekilledherlol).

Semi-Automatic Lonely Boy: Prequel to Raison d'Etre. Just a series of vignettes of Simon's life after returning to Earth. (TW: depictions of self-harm) Other than It Can't Be Helped, this is the other fanfic that I am the most proud of so far. Literally went and relearned French to write some of the dialogue in this.

I'll Get It Right Sometime (ongoing): Four years after Book 3, Hazel and Amelia have a pretty decent life on the Train. But this peace is interrupted when Hazel meets a passenger and decides to help him through the Train. How can Amelia keep Hazel safe? Who is this passenger anyway? Why is the Cat so interested in interfering? Why is Simon somehow involved?! Why is JESSE somehow involved?!?!??! (Note: I think Hazel ages normally, so she's 10 years old in this one.) This is also my most ambitious fanfic yet. I have an Entire Homestuck Reference chapter, a Reddit chapter, and I plan to have several Discord chapters.

#infinity train #infinity train fanfic #infinity train fanfiction #rymin #grimon #tulip olsen #jesse cosay #lake infinity train #grace monroe #simon laurent #ryan akagi #min gi park #amelia hughes #hazel infinity train #samantha the cat #you can tell i have a thing for naming fics after songs or lyrics

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shortforpencil · 1 year

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finished the designs for my ben 10 au! it's called hopepunk and I've been working on it with a few friends. here's the main and alt designs for the characters

this au started as a fix-it au but evolved into having a life of its own. for the most part, a lot of the stories are the same as the prime timeline, especially prior to omniverse. the au mostly just has better/more consistent writing and is markedly gayer

I love the hopepunk genre so decided to work the au around that. ben sees the good in most everyone (exceptions being vilgax and the like) and is more considerate. he's also punk as hell and radicalized rook in the first week lmao

gwen and kevin are more present than they were in omniverse, albedo gets a redemption arc in around season 2, ben and rook end up dating after rook realizes he's gay, stuff like that

there's also a few more aliens ben gets! I'll post about them later if I can actually make art for them for once

if anyone has any questions, hmu! I'd be happy to answer any questions y'all might have

#ben 10 #ben tennyson #rook blonko #gwen tennyson #kevin levin #albedo #lucky girl #anodite #ben 10 omniverse #ben 10 au

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still-a-morosexual-help · 1 year

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I really really hope you're right, this just killed my motivation for everything. What happened with Solomare's story jar already left a bad taste in my mouth too.

I know I'll feel better in a few days, but I felt lied to when they said they'd continue the story and the app. And it's going to be even lighter and fluffier and a replacement for the main story line? One that new players will perfectly fit into? I was so looking forward to learning more about what would happen to Simeon.

Also not announcing it until last minute? For once I'm really glad I can barely afford food, because I'd be devastated if I had spent even a dollar. But maybe that's just me being poor.

I'm mostly likely going to stop writing for a while until I've archived everything important from the app, which is gonna take ages just in case anyway.

But anyway, are there any recent events you thought were better than usual? I've been too sick to grind lately so I haven't unlocked them. I want to know which ones to archive as soon as possible once the six months are up.

Sorry for bringing the mood down and the rant, but you seem to be the only positive one I follow that isn't outright calling people stupid or pathetic for being upset so I'm really hoping your positivity rubs off on me.

I do hope you keep posting for Nightbringer too! I have several issues with my hands so I don't think I'll ever be able to see the end of the og story line, and I especially love your analyses out of anyone else's.

Okay okay so they are continuing the og app and continuing the story, the only difference is they'll be continuing the mainstory in nightbringer and the og app will just be getting events. So the og app will continue the way it has since the end of s4 and new main story content will be uploaded to nightbringer (the devs did says this)

Not sure what happened with story jar but Obey Me! is solmare's most popular game. Objectively, nothing solmare has created has ever come near to reaching om! And I'm talking purely in the money making side of it - the anime? mangas? songs? merch? cons? VAs getting heavily involved in everything? Solmare's a business. As long as there's a fandom and a demand for it they're not gonna kill the og app.

Plus the majority of om's content is on the og app, with new content and old events still being released. If they wanted to kill the og app they'd stop releasing new content and updating lonely devil.

Since nightbringer will be continuing the mainstory from where they left off, they'd also need to move all of S1-4 the chats, call & devilgrams to nightbringer if they were gonna kill the og - and I'd imagine that's more hassle than it's worth

I do think we'd learn more about what happened to simeon;

• devs said they'd be continuing the main story in nightbringer so that'd include simeon

• nightbringer's current plot is about time travel and mc trying to find a way back home - so they will end up back in the current time at some point, where simeon's whole thing can be addressed

• s3 established that luke wasn't alive when the brothers were angels. If they intended to keep mc in the past they'd either have to scrap luke's entire character (?????) or retcon s3 which so far dropped the most lore

• thirteen (who's supposed to turn into a LI)'s first visit to the devildom happens in s4 and in nightbringer's op we see her in Diavolo's castle. Which means we're seeing the present timeline as well

....i think you're maybe panicking a bit too much? You definitely don't need to archive anything anytime soon. For well all of the reasons I mentioned above.... Maybe someday you'd have to but definitely not right now

Honestly I liked all the events🤷

No worries! And Yeah I think the thing people are forgetting is that Nightbringer is STILL Obey Me! I'm definitely going to be still talking about it

Ok so I have an exam in 2 days and I think I've answered every possible question about Nightbringer you could possibly have so I'm calling it here.

Won't be answering new asks until sunday. Everything posted will be from queue.

If you want to see my others asks/answers regarding Nighbringer just hit the tag on this post

#obey me nightbringer #asks #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #swd obey me!#shall we date obey me #obey me simeon #om simeon #obey me! simeon #om! simeon #swd simeon #shall we date simeon

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doylldonmagar · 24 days

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Heyyyy i saw your post about writing your daydream to cope with maladaptive daydreaming. Do you have antimite tips that your therapist gave u ? ( cause therapy is kinda expensive for me right now)

Thanks <3

Hey, thank you for reaching out, I'm genuinely really glad you did. I'm afraid I'm not a great resource for this, honestly. Soon after that post I quit the job that provided therapy, so I don't have much more to offer. But I'll give you all of the things that I remember from therapy in case it can serve you!

(Assuming you're trying to stop disassociating,) look out for triggers. What makes you switch from being present to daydreaming?

When you initially notice you've switched to daydreaming, try to stop. This sounds obvious, but I've had to really keep it in mind, and there's usually a reason you switched to daydreaming (for me its usually anxiety or a lack of stimulation) and going back to reality isn't what your mind wants, so try to have something you are switching to. For instance, when I try to become present again, I usually start describing an object I see, and sometimes I shift to describe everything I'm experiencing, so all of the senses, things I'm seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling. And then once you're in the moment, then you can more easily switch to being actually in the moment as in conversations, etc, not just aware of reality but also a part of it. (Describing objects also helps with anxiety and spiraling, if you struggle with that)

Keeping a record of your daydreams can help if you are replaying a lot or if you have a story you are interested in building.

Setting aside time to daydream can help. It sounds counter intuitive, but if you stop yourself from daydreaming other times and say no I'm gonna daydream at 3 till 3:30, then when that time comes you daydream and then you stop yourself. This can build up self control and can break the urge to daydream whenever.

Trying to keep your mind occupied can help. If you daydream while you fold laundry, then maybe try playing music or a podcast or an audiobook and try to stay focused on it.

Doing yoga, or journaling, or something aimed at practicing awareness (physical, emotional, etc) can really help. Even stuff like spending 5 minutes describing everything I see and hear and feel can really help. A big part of getting away from MADD is just training your mind to be able to focus on the present.

Ultimately, what I've found is that maladaptive daydreaming is really just an addiction. And it's a coping mechanism. If you can find what you're coping with and can find a healthy way to deal with it, or find a way to cut it from your life, both are good options, but neither will necessarily stop the disassociation. If an addiction is narrowing activities you enjoy down to the one thing, then the way to break it is to find more outlets, more things you enjoy. If you have hobbies you don't do anymore, or things you used to be interested in, pursuing those can be good. Finding other things you enjoy doing can be super helpful.

On writing: (I didn't get this from therapy, just personal experience) it might help to write down everything from past daydreams that you remember (I personally would get really caught up in trying to remember all of the things. I had been daydreaming for about 5 years when I started writing, so I was trying to remember a lot. And I did forget a lot.) if you have a timeline, feel free to type it up. I write it down almost every time it comes up. I'll have clips of dialogue running in my head and I'll pull out my phone and type it up. Same goes for if I have a plot idea. I write it down to explore it later during the time I set aside for it. If I'm scared I'll forget it, then it runs over and over in my mind and it takes up time, and I don't want that. If I want to explore it, finish the scene, then I'm committing more time, and I don't want that. So it really helps me to cut it short by writing it down.

I'll add more to this list if I think of anything. Hopefully this helps in some way, feel free to reach out again! I tried to highlight my main ideas, sorry if it's distracting but I thought with so much text, it might be easier to skim.

#maladapting daydreaming disorder #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive coping #maladaptive daydreamer #immersive daydreaming #obsessive daydreaming #therapy tips #therapy

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tleeaves · 8 months

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Gush about your favourite TSC characters and ships! It's a free-for-all.

This is an incredibly sweet opportunity and now I'm sitting here trying to figure out who and what I want to talk about first. It's probably no secret or surprise that most of my favourites of anything in TSC come from the TLH series. See, with such open-ended gushing opportunities as this, actually, there are sooo many characters I want to talk about. I'm beginning to fear everyone's going to regret you calling this a free-for-all.

James Herondale is by far my favourite TSC character in existence, and I think about him and have talked about him (elsewhere, before I had any Tumblr blogs) the most. If you've read some of my longer fanfics at all, this likely hasn't come as a shock to you, but I love the guy, which is probably why I'm a little weird when it comes to others' posts about him (maybe Jane Austen was onto something when she said that if I loved someone less, I'd be able to talk about them more). We all come away from reading books with different takes on characters, and that's a perfectly normal phenomenon. Because I feel so deeply about James, I tend to dance around the topic of him unless I do agree with someone else's analysis or I have something substantial to say, and even then I tend to curb myself because I don't want to sound like a raving lunatic... and now I realise how long that sentence was. (I'm already a raving lunatic, aren't I?) Anyhow, this is an opportunity to gush, and gush I will (very extensively).

See, I've seen it going around the fandom that people dislike the characterisation of James or the way he was presented in earlier short stories pre-TLH publications and then post when some might argue he was a completely different person. Honourable mention to my fellow countryman, musician, and fanauthor, @faithfromanewperspective, who has some fascinating posts discussing the neurodivergence of the TLH cast, which help further explain their personalities and some of their characterisation across their written existence (seriously, go check out some of Silver's analysis posts, they're such wonderful and interesting reads). Similar to Silver, I like to observe the essentially four different Jameses that exist across the timeline of James Herondale's written existence.

We have the James from the Shadowhunter Academy era, James in The Midnight Heir set several months before the events of The Last Hours, and then, of course, who we have during TLH pre- and post-bracelet influence. I once embarked on a research rabbit warren when I hit a rough patch in fanfic writing where I was trying to decide how best to write James post-bracelet while still remaining as canon-compliant as possible, while also filling in the gaps I and other fans have been frustrated with in James' evolution, all before Chain of Thorns was released. I reread all the stories that involved James and constructed an approximate timeline where I explored the ways his personality was presented at various points. From there, I tried to make sense of him by connecting, essentially, these four Jameses.

James holds a number of insecurities and burdens that pretty much sealed the deal for me when I was reading about him the first time around (don't ask me to count how many times I've read about him overall). Similar to when I discussed the topic of Jem Carstairs and chronic illness (see here), I connected to James Herondale through the avenue of chronic conditions. Other content creators like to interpret characters through lenses of mental illness or disorders, for instance, which definitely have a wealth of analysis and discussion to offer. My go-to instead, I suppose, is chronic illness and relationship dynamics, and how that affects a person's character. I may have talked in part about this before somewhere on here, but I'm too lazy to comb through the James Herondale tag that exists on my fandom blog (@streettealee, where I'll also be reposting this ramble). Anyway, burdens and insecurities.

Goatface Herondale

The academy days were especially rough for many characters, but here I'm talking about James (obviously). He was around the age of 13 when he attended the Shadowhunter Academy (a year, give or take a bit, before Grace would ask him to retrieve her bracelet and wear it, and a little closer in time to when he went to Cirenworth and had scalding fever). We see that he was a rather shy kid, generally self-conscious as one tends to be when reaching teenage years especially, and also quite insecure.

He has a close relationship with his parents and also his sister. We know he's very protective of Lucie, and they were playmates, which naturally lends itself to bonding and frequent squabbles (take it from me, an eldest child with a younger sister born right as I became a toddler -- we were each other's only friends in many respects and we got into a lot of fights, yet I would do anything for my sister, even take ownership for her mistakes just because I didn't want her to suffer the consequences). The nature of his relationship with Lucie is something that does not change as the series progresses (it would have been interesting to see her reaction to him in TMH though). As for his parents: James is what my friends and I in primary school would have mockingly called "The Golden Child" (and not for his eyes, mind you), because he's not simply a mama's boy or father's boy. James is the dreaded combination of both, in which he is always trying to do right by them in some way, shape, or form, without much particular favour for one over the other. It wouldn't surprise me if Lucie was ever bitter about him being the oldest and something of a goody-two-shoes, or if James regarded it the other way with Lucie always getting away with everything because she's younger and so innocent-seeming (she definitely play-acted her way out of things as a child).

As has been examined by others already, James carries the burden of his parents' love (we'll get to more of this in the next section). Not only is he the miracle child of a Shadowhunter and a warlock, never seen before, he is also affected by the trauma Tessa carries as an outsider within the Enclave, and the concern she and Will have for him that borders on overbearing. We see in his academy era that he will not say goodbye to his father because he knows he cannot bear it and does not want to be seen as weak. We also see that he refuses to go home and or do anything that would reflect badly on his mother, because she is already alienated for being a warlock in Shadowhunter society. Furthermore, James is resentful of his father particularly at this time, because James is constantly being compared to him (again, we'll come back to this). He wishes Will Herondale were less than perfect so that James would be allowed to be who he is: less than perfect, a Nephilim child with demon blood.

As a kid, it can be difficult growing up in an environment where you are from two cultures, and everyone around you is constantly trying to get you to pick which you most are between them, instead of unifying them both as elements of your identity (this is from my personal experience). James has been an odd Shadowhunter for most of his life, up until the point at the academy where his warlock powers (thanks to Belial, yay) suddenly manifest. From that point on, where it is seen that some magical capability is possible, James is caught between two worlds. It was bad enough for him to have strange yellow-gold eyes ("Goatface Herondale") which he tried to hide by wearing his glasses more often than necessary, he then had to contend with a more noticeable, alienating feature of his demonic heritage, which drove away even the mundanes he had previously been befriending (outsiders to a particular majority tend to flock together, up to a certain point, as demonstrated).

So, there's that aspect of his shadow powers. When I read about James, I drew connections also with the earlier mentioned chronic illness view. His demonic heritage is not a condition, but his experience of their manifestation in uncontrollable and traumatising episodes of shadow magic are what I would call one. As if he were not insecure enough about not being extroverted enough to break out of his loneliness and enter social circles he's always skirted at the edges of, he is afflicted by a condition that betrays his body and will. This loss of control is difficult for anyone. It's easy to feel helpless, even after a diagnosis of something, because it is incurable and or unpredictable in nature. Self-loathing lends itself to those left vulnerable by such a violent change in their body's nature and their identity. There is a lot to be said about the labels given to us and the ones we assume. To James, this is just another way he is less than perfect, less than his father, a weakness to his mother and family, no longer on totally common ground with his sister, different from his peers, and his ability to tamp down this part of him and appear as some semblance of "normal" for Nephilim becomes tied with his self-esteem.

As a quick side note: it is my theory that James feels like an outsider among Downworld circles and that is why he has always been rather awkward around them. We see he does fine in The Devil Tavern when he gradually makes a second home of it, but there are other instances, such as a brief moment that lives rent-free in my head where, at his introduction in Chain of Gold, he walks past a vampire and avoids eye contact because "[unless Downworlders broke the law, it was none of his business what they did]" (I'm paraphrasing there) and I think there's been a bit of shame instilled in him. James is not wholly a Downworlder, and he is not wholly Nephilim, and because he was raised as a Shadowhunter and alienated anytime he was not quite resembling one, he does his best to try and follow Shadowhunter values and norms and further avoids some aspects of Downworld in some contexts, like when he's just come off a patrol.

Of course, good things come to James too at this time: Matthew finally manages to befriend him, and the two are both insecure people who find security in each other. He also leaves the Shadowhunter Academy, and Matthew declares he and James are going to be parabatai and must therefore stick together, which for James would feel pretty damn good -- not only because Matthew wants to share such a special connection with him, considering his demonic heritage and the inherent angelic ties the parabatai ceremony holds, but also because his father places a lot of stress on parabatai as one of the greatest forms of love that exists (again, we come to that burden of love idea) and so James, I believe, would find this an opportunity to live up to the expectations his parents hold.

AND ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: I THINK IT IS BRILLIANT THAT TLH IS BASED ON GREAT EXPECTATIONS I MEAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD THE ENTIRE TLH CAST IS SADDLED WITH ALL THESE THINGS EXPECTED OF THEM FOR VARIOUS REASONS, I COULD GO ON ABOUT THIS FOREVER AND THE CONNECTIONS THEY HAVE TO THE ORIGINAL NOVEL BY DICKENS.

All that is to say: this first sort of version of James that we see is shy, insecure, sweet, generally well-intentioned, clever (he's funny and I didn't get time to try and go back to the book to pick up all the instances where he says something amusing, keep off), and reaches this first turning point of burden -- the burden of love and expectations, and of his heritage and abilities/condition. All of this has already brewed into a hero complex (it does not quite rival Cordelia's, but it's up there -- James really likes to handle things himself and on his own, and now it's got me thinking about Batman... anyway).

Helen of Troy

This boy had shining golden eyes, like a crystal glass filled brimful with crisp white wine and held up to catch the light of a blazing sun. If his skin was luminous, his eyes were radiant. Magnus could not imagine these eyes as tender. The boy was very, very lovely, but this was a beauty like that Helen of Troy might have had once, disaster written in every line. The light of his beauty made Magnus think of cities burning.

The Midnight Heir is perhaps the most contentious piece written about James, and I would like to point several things out before we proceed: Cassandra Clare wrote this (as well as Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy) with co-authors who, as far as I know, were not as heavily involved in TLH. Furthermore, this is from Magnus Bane's perspective, and he is known to dramatise just as much as the TLH cast themselves like to drape their lives in drama. Now, going forward...

This occurred before TLH and I have my practical writer theories as to why James wound up so different in TLH compared to TMH. Clare changed her mind about the story's trajectory, about who the main characters would be, what the romances would look like, who she wanted James Herondale to be. And this is where I have to admit, Clare as a writer -- like any other -- is flawed and has a history of inconsistencies. As frustrating as it can be, it happens, and so there is obviously the issue of "well who is the REAL James Herondale? What/who is canon?"

This brings me to my exercise in interpreting James: the different Jameses that exist and my way of uniting them all so that they do indeed make one coherent character who can have the mildness of his academy era, the wild intensity of his midnight era, and have all that remain consistent with who he is by The Last Hours (during and post bracelet).

As you may have gathered from the Goatface Herondale topic above, James' turning point at the academy was just the start of the disasters he was written for--disaster written in every line--which leads up to TMH or his Helen of Troy period. There are some interpretations that his wild and unruly behaviour was simply as it was presented to us: heartbreak taken to the extreme "because he's a Herondale and they love only but once blah blah bullshit blah" and heightened by the cursed bracelet he was wearing at the time (there is textual evidence he had it on him, and we are told Grace merely sent a letter that made him despair and things were quickly made up after). Then, such as done by Silver, there is the interpretation that James may be bipolar or have some other disorder in which he experiences manic episodes, which lead to the vast, seemingly inexhaustible energy he had that night in TMH where we first meet him as he's grown older and the complete mood swing that almost resembles an entire change in character (also look to the dialogue of his parents who say he never used to be like this, he was always so studious, so good, very mild and well-behaved, kept his parabatai in line and shared private jokes). This is where I would have really liked to know Lucie's view, because as his sister, she is more than likely to share a view that is different from the adults gathered (Magnus, Tessa, Will, and Jem), and I almost think she would say he's being dramatic and she doesn't know what got into him except he's still treating her all the same and then she'd just roll her eyes (I'm not saying she wouldn't be concerned, but just that she'd easily disguise it as a mockery of her brother doing dumb shit).

There is also something to be said about masking and "the Mask" that James dons. However, I do not know enough about this to comment much on it. I direct you once again to @faithfromanewperspective who I know has covered this topic in more detail. What I have to add around it (as someone with some form of undiagnosed neurodivergence, but leaning toward ADHD and C-PTSD (I do not yet have the funds or ability to seek professional opinions)) is that this is plausible, and yet not my first thought when I'm considering the totality of James and how we can unite the different stages of his timeline. I say this because I experience bursts and lulls of certain behaviours, and so far I do not have anything concrete to attribute it to, and it may sound stupid, but I have found (in my experience) that sometimes we lose our inhibitions as a result of extreme emotions in difficult circumstances. Who I am when I am at home is different to who I am in the classroom and different again to who I am when I've been drinking alcohol and who I am when I'm wandering the streets of a city late at night (always with friends, notably, because I don't feel safe enough to wander alone at night as a woman). Sometimes, I do not even need a drink in me to loosen up certain aspects of my mentality, but a few hours of sleep deprivation (sort of a lie, I'm almost always sleep deprived and it's yet another chronic issue I'm working on since it affects other areas of my health). I believe I am a product of my environment in many ways. And so is James.

There is some merit to the original idea that James has been ensconced in such profound love his whole life, that when his love life goes wrong and is not at all like the beautiful fairytale he resents his parents for having and pushing on him, it destroys him inside. Admittedly, I'd say this would have greater impact and would be a much more compelling narrative if the bracelet was not cursed and James was allowed to break the dumb Herondale myth of loving once (furthering that alienation but ultimately providing him liberation). But even with the bracelet: James believes himself in love, believes he is damned because he is demonic and nothing good can ever become of him or anything he wants in life, he is going to always get the short end of the stick because the expectations placed on him are too great, and he has received a devastating letter as a hormonal teenager with access to an entire city to terrorise and alcoholic drinks to consume. I'd say it's not far-fetched to assume he was just incredibly drunk and heartbroken that night, and was simply embracing the drama that teenagers lean toward.

It is, though, the sheer cruelness that James demonstrates in front of Magnus that pokes a hole in this framework. The James we knew previously, and even the James we see in TLH, is not who you would call cruel. So where did this come from? Was it his resentment against Downworld rising to the surface, an extension of his insecurities raging inside him? Rebelliousness against his parents? If he embraces chaos and cruelty and vice, can he convince himself he is merely being who he was always meant to be, as someone who is part demon? (Sound familiar to anyone? *cough* Jace Herondale *cough*) Was he as drunk as Magnus thought he was? Was James, in reality, experiencing some sort of manic high where he could be wickedly precise with a gun and still be entirely out of his typical character?

I have no definite answer, except that I urge you to reflect inward. Have we not all at least once experienced a time where we "have not acted ourselves"? Where, for one reason or another, we shed our usual attitudes and embraced a different side of ourselves that only seems out of character because others around us do not know us as we know ourselves? I know I have. I know I can be cruel and nasty when I let go of care, and that a part of me believes sometimes that it is my truest nature because of what some people drilled into me for many impressionable years. That sometimes it is a form of self-harm, because I can still feel empathy and I know what I am doing is hurting someone else, and it hurts me too because I am so aware of it and the whole vicious mental cycle goes on. I know that if I simply stay up long enough at night, I indulge in reckless behaviours and say whatever comes to my mind with little to no filter. I know that I can have periods of energy fueled by recklessness, by some social interactions, by many other factors, and can lead to be attempting to perform feats I typically would not.

James trying to make love to a lamppost and a dog and what have you? That I could attribute to drinking or sleep deprivation. It could just as easily be something else, but I will stand by the fact that this is not out of the ordinary when one is in an extraordinary sort of mental state. I also believe Clare's intentions when writing that was more for humour than anything.

Returning to my earlier point, I do believe James might have been cruel in TMH because he simply could be, because he is unloveable (in his mind), demonic, and for that period of time, dreadfully tired of how hard he had to try to be someone everyone believed he was not. And perhaps because this rebellion, this reckless behaviour, as chaotic as it appears, is actually his form of taking control over his life and his image. If he acts the part of a wild, half-warlock, if he embraces wickedness, he is in control of that and no comments or misfortune that might be attributed to it are as bad in his mind. To him, under the curse, Grace is perfect and he's just Ken James, barely a Herondale. This night in TMH that catches glimpse of his character as of late is actually just the snowball effect of his insecurities that we already saw in the academy.

So, how does that connect to the Jameses of TLH?

Barely a Herondale

Let's revisit my favourite topics of chronic illness and control. We see by TMH, and with context provided in Chain of Gold, that James had begun to master his shadow abilities, so that they became actual abilities and not just a condition that he was struggling with. In a way, I see it as a remission. James has developed this precious view of control because of this, I would argue, and we see him grapple with control and his insecurities in TLH more. When we open the series with Chain of Gold and we see James enter the shadow realm against his will in the middle of a fight, there is a deep sense of body betrayal, I find when reading. I feel for James when his friends go "I thought that had stopped happening/all that rubbish was over" and he goes "me too". I cannot count the times in my life when I genuinely thought my health troubles were over, that the rollercoaster was only going up, just to have a horrible shock when suddenly my body gives out on me and I am plunged for months into chronic pain and illness all over again for usually unclear reasons. I have no cure, just as James doesn't. We simply have methods of managing our respective conditions, if that makes sense. It is a constant fight for control over ourselves. There have been times where I will not tell a single person that my symptoms of something have come back, simply because I am exhausted and I already know the drill of management techniques I'll have to employ myself.

James reaches for his knife, for the pain to bring him back. He contacts Jem because he's worried and has no idea what's going on or why it happened. I am so, so obsessed with this. I can't stress enough how much I relate to his whole shadow dilemma from a perspective of chronic illness. I am shaking you, reader. Please understand. I don't care how flawed this guy is or the fact that Clare might not have intended this interpretation, this is my form of projection like everyone else has theirs and it is so comforting to me, as someone who also struggles to feel in control of my own body, who exerts control over other things in other ways just to cope.

This is one line of consistency I draw from Goatface to Helen of Troy to the James of TLH. Now, moving on...

We see that in TMH that Will and Tessa have been trying to get through to James for ages to try and coax out of him what his problems are and why he is acting out. I discussed this once with an old writing partner, how when the Herondales learned of the Carstairs coming to London to save their reputation and required their help, that Will and Tessa likely approached James and demanded he be on his best behaviour so that they can help the Carstairs. For if the Herondales tried to help while James himself was out ruining his reputation, then the Carstairs would surely be doomed.

And so, we have the image of The Perfect Gentleman™ developed over the next few months ready for the arrival of Sona, Cordelia, and Alastair Carstairs in London. This coincides with the fact that over the summer (after the winter period when he had his wild streak and the spring when he would have been getting his heart and act together) he did not go to Idris to see Grace for the first time in years and the bracelet's hold on him was weakening significantly, which I believe, would mean less of the heightened hurt and insecurity surrounding the topic of love for at least a little while, because he would simply care about Grace (in a romantic sense) less. Who knows? Perhaps becoming the model gentleman was his form of revenge against Tatiana and others, because if he conforms and commits heavily to Shadowhunter society and the rules of propriety, then he cannot be faulted for his heritage so easily by that point. Plus, this is much easier to follow when he thinks he has total control over his shadow abilities at that point in time. For about six months, he can simply put it out of his mind (and get extra weird about interacting with Downworld and how he feels about it. This also brings me to a side tangent about how I think his interest in the occult is the little demon/magic intrigue he allows himself in private where only his friends are likely to be aware of the books he keeps. He says, if I recall correctly, at some point that he finds it fascinating what mundanes think of magic and how close or far they are from it sometimes, and I propose there's like this secret third thing to it about how he likes looking at magic and demonology from the perspective of a third party -- someone who is not Nephilim or of Downworlder origin, because it is the closest kinship he might find).

Also, let's not forget how much people in real life, let alone characters, can change over a period of time, much less several months to a year. I truly do not think his character is as inconsistent between books as it is made out to be. I think the real issue is that Clare left out elements of context that would have helped when characterising James and his journey, hashing out who he is and who he is not. I think another blog brought it up once, how TLH should have been multiple books and not just a trilogy. I agree, I think the dense character work would have benefitted from being more spaced out, particularly when exploring the bracelet in regard to James. Because the James after Chain of Gold especially feels rather like a blank slate that Cordelia is usually projecting upon. Which is valid. I have another theory about this, where the reason James was suddenly the It Guy at social gatherings was because he had "cleaned up his act" in the recent year and the bracelet meant that he was a blank canvas for the girls of the Enclave to project their desires onto. Perhaps it's an allosexual thing, but I know of myself and many others who tend to form crushes on people we know next to nothing about simply because they're beautiful and we make things up in our head based on what little knowledge we have, and the gaps are filled to suit. In Chain of Gold, it felt very purposeful, and the changes between James while wearing the bracelet as opposed to without was much more noticeable.

Genuinely, I think Clare dropped the ball once she got to Chain of Iron, and then dropped even further when writing Chain of Thorns. But still, for the sake of outlining the consistencies of James' character rather than the flaws, we'll ignore my personal frustration with those books and continue on.

We still see his insecurities manifest in various ways throughout TLH. Before we get to that, I'd like to point out that James remains clever throughout this series, always introverted even if he knows how to navigate social situations better now, forever a bookworm, loyal, but no longer so much of a people-pleaser as he seems much more prepared to be an adversary in any given situation as well as embrace rebellion, which I think gets overlooked a lot (do you see how quickly he goes "lock up your daughters and your greenhouses, James Herondale is on the loose and has a penchant for property damage etc." after getting in trouble in Chiswick? I swear, this guy had my heart in a chokehold). LIKE. CAN YOU NOT SEE IT? The way he is still the same guy we saw in TMH? His personality did not change so drastically that he is someone else -- it's still him! He's still there! He's just evolved over the months! And here we are, this is one such place where his insecurities are still pronounced, but in such a way where he tries to own it, to control it, once again.

And in spite of all the Herondale traits James definitely carries, he is still not the typical Herondale like Will and Jace or even some of the others we've seen. James is also Tessa and her trauma and Jem and his teachings and his father and his legacy, and he is influenced by disaster (hello? He was thirteen when he saw another dead kid? Got diagnosed with Greater-demon-for-a-grandfather? Has been brainwashed since fourteen?).

Remember how ready he was to believe he was a murderer? That's his insecurity and history talking. These horrible nightmares he's been having too. James tried so hard to be a hero, and yet he believes he inevitably ends up being someone against the heroes. He is surprised when Cordelia says he's the leader of the group because that's not how he sees himself. And this is what I find so fascinating about James. There's how other people see him, and many people see him differently, and then there's how he sees himself. (I will note that I find the idea of the Merry Thieves having any sort of leader laughable. I truly feel that's not how their group dynamic works. It felt like an excuse for Cordelia to fawn over him (as you do when you have a crush on someone) and have that weird shoe-horned on-the-nose moment where James goes to comfort Thomas and waves the others over when Barbara dies).

Most of what I have to talk about admittedly deals more with Chain of Gold, simply because kind of got lost between Chain of Iron and Chain of Thorns. He's still there, and I still see the strings of his personality, I think Clare just let some of his key character issues fade into the background. Also, I still only read Chain of Thorns once. I haven't been motivated to pick that one back up.

One thing I do like about Chain of Thorns though is that James was allowed to be the bad guy, even if it was via being a puppet for Belial. There was something almost cathartic about him crowning himself King of England. He didn't save the day; Cordelia did. James was merely fulfilling a prophecy he had made for himself.

Also, we don't get to see much of James without the bracelet. I think he's still trying to figure out who he is now that the curse is gone, then after Belial is gone and so are the main aspects of his warlock abilities. James has to redefine himself beyond many of the securities he held (so fucking mad that the "technically I did only love once because it was always Cordelia under the curse 🤪" happened because it would have made more sense for James to also break through that insecurity, but whatever).

In conclusion... um, this guy's just neat? I think he's beyond interesting. People who say he's boring and blank, I hear you, I just can't say I totally agree with you. He's my favourite character. I'll make all the excuses. I just wrote this to try and defeat the idea that his personality is inconsistent because I think it can be argued that it actually is not when you consider, well, all of the above. Anyway, I spent almost the whole day writing this. Whoops.

My other favourite characters are Matthew Fairchild, Cordelia Carstairs, Jem Carstairs, Magnus Bane, and Ragnor Fell. Love them all so much. I love a great many characters but these ones most of all.

Ships? Look, as much as I will criticise it and absolutely agree with other critiques of them, I love Jordelia. I project on and relate to both characters, what do you want from me. Also, I keep saying I have no faith in TWP and that I will not be actively seeking it out but... I do like Kit and Ty. Sue me. The drama is so delicious. For ages though, I've been wanting an equally juicy lesbian ship, I feel like the ones we have just... aren't it. You know? I think there was a missed opportunity in making Cordelia bisexual and a girl crush for Grace. OH BUT I ALSO LOVE GRACE AND LUCIE. SHUT UP, SHUT UP, I LOVE THEM. THEIR DYNAMIC COULD HAVE BEEN BRILLIANT.

Anyway, The End. That was a very long gush.

#james herondale #the last hours #tlh #tales from the shadowhunter academy #the midnight heir #tmh #herondale #character analysis #I have now thoroughly exposed myself and the amount of brainrot I experience over james herondale #a character who many share many complaints about #and complicated views #WARNING: very long post #this was an oddly healing exercise #I should ramble endlessly about things I love more often

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96percentdone · 2 years

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I liked AINI a lot, but the game would be seriously improved if they just made Ryuki the protagonist, because he's the one that has a story arc, and a meaningful tie to the case, and meanwhile it's very clear that both Mizukis exist not to have character arcs but for the sake of the timeline twist. More under the cut.

Part One: The Mizuki Problem

Date Mizuki doesn't have a character arc, which is a shame, because she's a rightly beloved character from the first game, and with the way her story ended there, they could have done so much more with her in the lead role. You don't even have to change any of the plot points of AINI for this, bar the meta ones. You could keep her as a genetic experiment and clone, dealing with the revelation that her shitty parents actually adopted her, while struggling because once again her father (Date) was ripped away from her. She'll even learn she has a sister, who watched over her and tried to protect her, but in doing so left her alone. That's a lot of meaty stuff! It's a lot to wrestle with, to make peace with. To grow up as a girl who had to raise herself, and the loneliness that entails, the longing for a different childhood, imagining what could have been. She'd be an excellent counterpart to Amame, who also went down her violent path out of love for her family, and is now just as paralyzed by regret. It's all right there!!

But they can't explore any of that. They rush past her feelings about all of those things, bringing them up for a scene, and then resolve them in a later scene with no in between. They do this for three key reasons, two of which I'll talk about here. The first is that half of her screen time is not actually her, it is Bibi. So they nixed half the time to explore it. Oops. But the more offensive problem, at least in my eyes, is the no spoilers policy that informed the writing. This game has a spoiler toggle, and that means the game has to be completely understandable to a hypothetical player without relying on any knowledge from the first game. Any references to the first game have to be short enough they can be excised without audiences feeling like they missed something important. So if her character arc is based on her trauma, trauma that was a key thing to explore in the first game, and how that trauma informs how she responds the revelations/events of this game—well, then anyone who is playing without spoilers for the first game would be barred from her half of the story. So we get one scene where she brings up her complicated feelings about this, where all the dialogue related to the first game can be easily cut, and then a follow up where she expresses she's fine with all this actually, and that's all she's allowed to have. I can't imagine the version of the game as it is with no spoilers, where the only thing she contends with is being a clone. How weak; how insubstantial.

Kuranushi Mizuki is first and foremost a plot device. I am not saying this because I hate her (I do not); it is just objective fact. In order for the writers to deceive us about what events happen in the past and what happens in the future, there needs to be a Mizuki identical to the one in the present six years in the past. Enter Bibi. Because of this, Bibi does not have a character arc. She can't, because she has to pass as Date Mizuki. This is the third reason that they can't give Date Mizuki a character arc: both Mizukis have to be indistinct from each other so as not to give the game up before they want to reveal the real flow chart. If they were to really get into the meat of either of their traumas, then it would cause greater suspicion in the players before the writers are ready to show their hands.

And that's unfortunate. Kuranushi Mizuki could easily be a great secondary character that could enhance Mizuki's story, in the same way our Mizuki was to Date. She's her sister, her progenitor, and everything she does is out of a desire to protect her, even her misguided choices. Their reunion, and rebuilding of a sisterly bond after they both overcome the ways their various traumatic upbringings affected them could be extremely emotional, and a worthwhile read. But they can't do any of that. Because "Mizuki" as a protagonist exists to serve the meta plot twist about the timeline, and distinct character journeys would undermine that. Because any arc that the Mizukis would undergo together would have to discuss the things that happened to our Mizuki in the first game, and they can't do that, because the game has to be a comprehensible entry point for new players.

Part Two: Ryuki's Half Slaps!

You know who doesn't have these problems? Ryuki. Ryuki Kuruto was introduced in this game, which means there is no prior context that's locked off from new players entering the series. All of Ryuki's screen-time is actually just his own, because he's an adult so they don't need to invent another identical looking character to explain why he still looks the same in both time periods. Now, he still risks having two character arcs that conflict with each other, if the Ryuki of 6 years ago has different priorities and needs compared to his present self, however the game resolves this one just fine.

Ryuki is wracked by trauma, no matter what half of the timeline he's in. The thing that he needs most is to make peace with his mistakes and trauma. His brother's tragic death and his resulting warped sense of justice, his failings during the initial HB investigation being informed by the trauma of his brother's death that happened around that time and with identical results, how that lead to Tearer manipulating and using him, and his endless guilt over that betrayal. At any point in his story, he's spiralling, just for different reasons, and you can blur the details on that just enough so every scene moves seamlessly from one to the next. The detail blurring even justifies itself because of TC-PERGE and his other mental illnesses have fucked with his perception of time and the world around him. Ryuki's side just works. He's a character with a story that's designed to work with the structure they want to have.

And you can tell it works, that Ryuki as a protagonist truly hits because I don't think a single person has played this game who came away hating him. So many people love Ryuki. It's so easy to love Ryuki, because things are happening with him, not just to him. He gets worse, he gets so much worse the more time we spend with him, and we want him to get better because when he seems to be doing alright, he's a likeable guy! He's a dork!! He's awkward!! He has his silly little hero worship gay crush on Date!! We don't want him to suffer, to go through the things he does, we want him to get better and find peace. As someone stuck on his past decisions wrestling with endless regrets, he's another foil to Amame. Someone who makes choices and wonders what it would have been like if he could undo them (hello diverge route). He's just a well-written protagonist!!

Part Three: Split Protagonists? Split Story. False Timeline? Cancelled Story.

There's only one problem: he has to share the game with two Mizukis, who have nothing going on internally, and much of what they have going on externally has very little to do with him. Bibi hates him for what he did to her under Tearer's influence, which should be very relevant and add to his story, but the structure impedes that somewhat. 18-year-old Bibi sees Ryuki just as a coworker until he shoots her. She can't value him as a friend, or have any feelings stronger than 'he's a guy she works with sometimes' because Mizuki doesn't really know him or have a relationship with him, and that would be a contradiction that gives the game up. (I mean, they could just give our Mizuki reasons care a lot about him too, but they chose not to try). Then she hates him, because he shot her and made her condition worse, a betrayal that would hurt more if I felt like they had a meaningful bond, but they don't have one. Still, there is some weight there, so I'll give them that. We mostly see this enmity from her when she's the masked woman, so...when we don't know it's her, or why she hates him, because it's a plot twist. Good replay value. But she gets over it pretty fast at the end. Still, I'll forgive all this, because it is the only thing either Mizuki has going on that really has to do with him.

Our Mizuki does not seem to care at all about her eye; she likes having Aiba, which is the opposite of a conflict. She doesn't know Ryuki betrayed them either, and she doesn't have a relationship with him, so she does a lot of investigating into the half body serial killings which she cares about for....some reason. I guess because she was there? I would say it's because of what happened to Date during explosion end, how it ripped her family apart again, but I already talked about how they can't and won't get into that, so she cares for like no reason at all. She similarly treats what happened to Kizuna as just kind of this tragic accident, but it's not what motivates her. Nothing motivates her. She investigates a bunch of stuff, and sometimes she sees Ryuki, but she doesn't have any motivations related to him, so every minute he spends off screen while she's at the helm has adds nothing to his story, for the sake of a character they refuse to give one.

I lied earlier when I said Bibi has nothing going on. Unlike her sister she has motives, and because she was a character introduced in this game she can have a character arc related to those motives because it won't spoil the first one. There's still the damning problem regarding the fact that she categorically can't be her own character in any of the scenes we play as her, but she has a motive. The hitch is her impetus has nothing to do with the HB incident, which is the thing most affecting Ryuki. She's investigating the Horadori Institute's genetic experiments on children, because that's why Horadori abused her and her sister. The things she learns about Tearer happen while trying to do something else. Horadori and Shigure didn't abduct Uru to genetically modify him; he was just a organ donor for their son. He experienced abuses, but they aren't the abuses she underwent, so they're not the focus of her investigation. The stuff that happened to Gen and Shouma is of more importance to her, because it's the same as what happened to her. Narratively, this is why Gen and Shouma are genetic experiments. They further her investigation, and add to her story. Or at least they would, if she didn't have to pass for Mizuki all the time when you play as her. We don't get to truly explore how she feels about there being other victims she could not protect, who contend with their traumas just like she does. We don't really see her make peace with all that happened, or decide to let go and move on—it just is why she's doing the things she does, while looking suspicious in a mask. Another potential character arc wasted by meta component.

Why are the strings that tie our three protagonists together so thin? To be clear, both Mizukis are extremely tied together, for obvious reasons. But their ties to Ryuki are weak. Bibi was betrayed by him and knows it, so she doesn't trust him, and wants Mizuki to stay away from him because of it, but Mizuki doesn't have a lot of strong opinions about him. He was just a guy she met while he was investigating, and he was there when she lost her eye (and dad), and now he's doing worse. He's very fucked up about what he's done to everyone, including them, because of the HB case, but one Mizuki isn't motivated by the HB case, and the other Mizuki just isn't motivated by anything. Their side adds to Ryuki's story when he's present in the scenes, but when he's gone, so is his storyline. I loved when Date talked Ryuki out of his downward spiral, and I loved his big damn heroes moment, and his sacrifice and forgiveness, and seeing him alive and well at the end. But I wish I could have seen him react to Amame's second somnium. I wish I could have seen him more in the investigations. I wish that when he was offscreen, the things that happened still reflected him in some way, just like how I wish that both Mizukis were allowed to have character arcs on full display throughout the entire game.

There is one protagonist who is affected by the plot of the game, who has ties to the other leads, and undergoes a journey in his half, but is out of focus in the back half in favor of the other two leads, but the other two protagonists are blocked from having anything, because of the restrictions imposed by meta and production elements of the game.

Part Four: So can it be fixed?

Well sure it can. The beautiful thing about fiction is there are any number of ways to solve a writing problem. The first is fuck the no spoilers policy straight to hell, even ignoring everything I just talked about, it affects the game in a bunch of smaller, annoying ways, and kinda steps on Date's story in the last game by not letting him exist in his actual body. You can take any approach you want after that knowing that whatever you do with returning characters it will acknowledge and further what came before.

After that though, there's a lot of options. You don't even have to throw the meta fuckshit to hell! I sorta opened this whole analysis with one, but I'm gonna list a few, and what kind of things they might entail, in order of the amount of work it involves:

Make Ryuki the sole protagonist. Have every part of the investigation be his own from his eyes. You can keep the timeline twist, it would still work for the reasons I said it worked in his half earlier. He's the one with the motivations, he's the one most directly affected by the HB case, and I'm fairly certain the game was initially structured with him as the sole protagonist in mind until they made some changes to account for Mizuki's popularity. It's also the easiest to do because a lot of the material for it is just already there, you just have to expand it. Mizuki and Bibi can both exist and work to serve the time fuckshit in the same way they do in canon, and he can still by what happened to them, and even investigate the stuff more personal to Bibi. Maybe he does that in part because he thinks he owes it to her, in the same way he thinks solving the HB case is what he owes to everyone. It's easy, it's strong, you can give our Mizuki emotional beats where she reacts to those reveals and struggles with her trauma, etc, but she does it as a prominent secondary character like she did in the first game, but hey she gets to do something!! She and Bibi can even afford to be more distinct from each other, more expressive of their differing motivations and needs, but their presence can blur together because Ryuki's sense of reality is fucked up. I'll admit this one is also my favorite, but can you blame me? It has everything in the base game in its best form, with the character it was designed for at the center, and it improves on all the weaker shit.

Move the Timeline Later: As in, set the events of the game in 2026, so everyone is old enough to be an adult. This one you cut Bibi. Mizuki gets to be Mizuki the entire time you play as her, and because we told the no spoiler policy to go to hell, she can have character arcs!! and motivations!!! Of course, you don't get the Bibi related stuff, but there's still plenty there. The other major change you'd have to make though is give her and Ryuki a more significant relationship. You can keep the time fuckshit, cause she'll just look the same in the past and present like basically everyone else (a detail other people nitpick but I don't give a shit about because it's just anime logic who cares). This one is roughly the same amount of work as the first one, because again the base is there, you just need to add a character story to Mizuki, and better tie to Ryuki's, which is done by changing their relationship.

Sole Protag Ryuki, no returning characters: This is the same as the other one, but you don't have to worry about old characters. In many ways this might be seem easier than the first one, cause your cast is smaller, but if you keep Bibi (because she's a new character), you need to rework her and all of her relationships. Even if you just graft her relationship she had with Mizuki onto someone who already exists in the game and don't invent another OC—you see where the extra work comes in. Again, you could cut her entirely, but I think the story is weaker as a whole if there is no character who exemplifies Ryuki's guilt and self hatred, and that's Bibi, who hates him for his betrayal. So...I'd keep her, even if it's more work, especially since he's your sole protagonist.

Sole Protagonist Mizuki: This one is for the people who want Mizuki to be the protagonist of her own game by herself, because it has very little to do most of the plot of nirvana initiative. Thus, it'ss objectively the most work. This one is gonna play more like the first game, set several years down the line, and it expands on Mizuki's story from the first game in her history as a child of abuse and neglect, and the stress of recently losing her dad again. The investigation is a serial killing incident, but the serial killing is directly tied to Horadori's genetic experiments, like say all the victims are people at his lab guilty of abusing people. There's no time fuckshit, there is no meta element, it's not the HB case, and all the characters stuff related to the HB side of things will have to be reworked so they're about the new case and/or the experiments instead. So like....Somezuki Uru wants revenge for the experiments done to him, that ruined his life, for example. Bibi still exists in a prominent secondary role, she can even be the masked woman for the first part of it until her reveal, which further's Mizuki's story, and because explosion end won't happen, Date will have to disappear for other reasons related to this case (like he got too close and the killer, Uru, abducted him to get rid of the threat), especially if you want that to motivate Mizuki. You might have to cut Ryuki for this story though, unless you rebuild his entire character so every last bit of his trauma connects to this new case you're inventing wholecloth, but I mean if this is the fix you're invested in, you're already doing so much work, so you might as well.

Conclusion: Man....

It's a shame the game was fucked from the start because of the dumbass no spoiler policy. You can make everything else work except that. The real enemy is studio execs who think marketing to the nonexistent demo of "people who play sequels without playing earlier entries" is a good idea.

Thank you for your time if you read this. This was way longer than I thought it would be.

#hope.txt #my meta #WELP #i literally wrote 2.5k of fanfic #stopped #then wrote 3.5k of meta #aka this post #am i insane?#yes #next question #also i know i wrote this insane lengthy criticism but swear i like the game #i wouldnt be working on fanfiction for something i don't like!!#PLEASE BELIEVE ME THIS COMES FROM LOVE #I LOVE THE IDEAS AND THATS WHY I WANT THEM TO BE BETTER

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kingmagnificoofrosas · 21 days

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Hi!! I love your work and I sometimes go back to just admire your art ‘cause it’s so pretty!

I just have a small question, unless it’s details saved for your book…. since King Magnifico is the king of Rosas and Queen Myrah is the queen of Rosas then what kingdom is Queen Amaya the queen of? Or if I got it all wrong then my bad! Aha, so many king and queen words in that one sentence (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Hiii! And awww thank you!!! 🥺❤️ I'm so happy to hear you love my art!!

Oh, don't worry, that question is totally fine! 🤭 I got ya! Royal mess of titles am I right? BUT, I wouldn't be the king's royal advicer and assistant if I couldn't reply to such questions! So ☝🏻 put your listening ears on 👂🏻, cause that answer takes a bit! 😌

Yes, our dear gem Magnifico was and is again, rightful king of Rosas and Myrah ( his soulmate ) logically - became queen after they married.

Amaya is Myrah's older cousin. That means, she's her mother's sister. Myrah's parents used to be king and queen of Solaris. A kingdom south-west from the iberian peninsula/spain. Through that royal connection, Amaya's parents were countess and earl, making Amaya a lady.

Amaya only became queen because she wanted to come with Magnifico to help him. Since they'd become close friends. Amaya's parents however, especially her father, was strictly against that, since she was still young at that time (16) . The only acceptable way for Magnifico to be able to take Amaya with him, would have been marriage. So Magnifico came up with the idea of a marriage of convenience. A secret promise he and Amaya made was, should they ever find their soulmates, the whole marriage by convenience would be nullified. Since Magnifico was royal from birth, he promised Amaya that he was able to do that once he stepped into his duty becoming king.

(I have s whole post about the marriage of convenience thing flying around on my blog somewhere too 😵‍💫 it's been a while )

Now, we all know how badly things went down . . . And my part is writing Magnifico's whole story 😉✍️🏼 so how exactly he and Myrah found each other and got together, that will be in my book as well. But you already know the most important fact. They are soulmates and of course, this time, Magnifico truly married for that reason.

Amaya has her soulmate as well and she married him eventually while Magnifico was still in the "cursed cage" as I like to call the realm he was trapped in. Don't worry, I've already promised to introduce Amaya's soulmate soon! So, while Mags was still gone, Amaya had remained in charge of Rosas for quite a while and through marrying Rowan (her soulmate) he became king for a short while. After Magnifico returned (yes it will all be in the book 😆 unless you truly want to hear the nitty gritty details. In that case, write me privately and I'll spill some tea!) He reclaimed his rightful place as king. Thus, Amaya went back to her status as lady making her husband a lord.

Magnifico let Amaya and Rowan stay home in his castle. Speaking the current timeline ( the present of my blog, past the events of my book ) Amaya and Rowan are Magnifico and Myrah's stand in's. That means, they take over watching Rosas whenever the royal couple takes some time off or goes on a vacation.

Phew! Quite a bit of an answer huh? I hope I could help you out 😄 thank you very much for that question! I enjoyed answering it!

#anon answered #anon ask #ask answered #thank you anon #thank you for the ask!

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crystalelemental · 26 days

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Now for the polar opposite in the second game I played, Triangle Strategy. My last posts on the subject speak for themselves, but as a cohesive whole, I have a lot to say. I'm not in the habit of tagging things without being clear where it's going, so to avoid problems: I do not respect this game.

Starting with an aside: I do not tend to keep track of who made what. I generally don't know, because I don't care to know. The game is either good or bad, I'll take note of consistencies if they keep producing similar stuff that lands. In the case of Team Asano, this game finally got my attention enough to connect dots, and find out that Team Asano are responsible for the Bravely Default games, Octopath Traveler, and Triangle Strategy here. I haven't played all of them, but I have played BD1, BD2, OT1, and TS. Which, to sum up that experience: one of the worst games I've ever played, middling, middling, and one of the worst games I've ever played. I do not respect any of their output. I have officially come to know their names to avoid anything they produce in the future, because nothing they've made has stuck with me. Which is. Maybe a first. I've look at some things as far as like...I can't play Shin Megami Tensei games, I just do not like them. But Atlus games can be great, depending on what I get. This is the first time I've truly felt like an entire team has just made nothing of value to me.

There are two reasons to this, and they both apply to Triangle Strategy. First is that I think their writing quality sucks. Bravely Default 1 is an absolutely garbage story, I liked effectively nothing about it, despite the presence of Edea who should've salvaged something. Bravely Default 2 and Octopath Traveler 1 are mildly engaging while playing, but ultimately left no impact on me and despite the years that have passed, I've never once looked at them as games I would want to replay. A big component of that is story. BD2 is just cookie cutter generic, while OT is too disconnected with its cast to actually come together into anything sane. TS falls more in the BD1 category. Despite some strong scenes and lines, it has a tendency to operate on the mindset of "Why say in ten words when you can say in ten thousand?" It just. Keeps. Talking. Without offering like any new information. It tries to hold a major mystery over you regarding the mines, but if you pay even slight attention to just the main story, you've figured out what's in there before any of the characters open it, then get to spend like 12 chapters of "But how can Aesfrost stand against Hyzante without salt, all they have is the iron in the mines?" There's also a constant issue of over-sharing information in the side stories, presenting the player with information the characters wouldn't have, and ruining suspense and tension regarding decision-making.

Even by the finale, and the way it presents its endings, none of them are satisfying. I've only seen three: Freedom Ending, Utility Ending, True Ending. I couldn't do Morality, I was burnt out by that point. The Freedom Ending presents unifying everything by defeating Hyzante, and granting salt access to everyone with myriad uses, encouraging free trade and development. This ending spends most of its time telling you how awful everything because due to wealth inequality, especially pointing out that the Roselle are freed from slavery, but have no inherent wealth so most are too poverty-stricken to survive anyway. The True Ending, by contrast...does functionally the same thing. Salt is made freely available, but this time Idore and Gustadolph die and Roland remains king, and despite that being just a matter of whose butt is in what chair rather than any change in policy, the game cuts out earlier in the timeline and we're left to assume the wealth inequality issue somehow didn't crop up this time. You didn't functionally change the idea, but somehow the result is completely different for no discernible reason. Oh but don't worry. The Utility Ending where you just surrender everything to Hyzante and accept that there's a slave class being exploited for profit? That one gets a pretty happy ending of Roland reflecting that some orphans can afford to eat even though their parents and dead and internally commenting that he did the right thing. If you're wondering what kind of tone or statement they're going for, me the fuck too.

The second major issue of Team Asano broadly is that their style seems to be "Take this other concept and staple this one (1) gameplay mechanic onto it." Bravely Default is, essentially, Final Fantasy 3 or 5 with a more "serious" story. Octopath Traveler is, more or less, Final Fantasy 6's World of Ruin as far as collecting your guys and moving forward. Triangle Strategy is, from what I can tell of it, just Final Fantasy Tactics. But. Their games have Turn Conservation as a mechanic. Brave, TP, and AP, all functionally identical. Every turn you get one (1) point of turn saved up, and this can be used to unleash bigger attacks, or take more turns, or something equating to "damage number go up." Anything that manipulates this counter is immediately overpowering. This is consistent across every game, and to be blunt, I don't think it's ever worked for them. Bravely Default 2, the one I have a better memory of, can use the mechanic just fine until endgame where every single enemy counters with +1 Brave Point, and then just keeps acting infinity times unless you have perfectly crafted damage teams that render 90% of your classes irrelevant. Octopath Traveler relies hysterically on the super classes for any level of optimized effect. Triangle Strategy isn't quite as bad, but in part because there's less control. You have Julio, but his AP conferral is a much weaker effect, so instead you burn turns just waiting for it to come back.

It's just never a balanced mechanic. It wastes time, and restricts effectiveness of classes. Having replaying Final Fantasy 5 recently, it's kind of staggering to go back to it and feel like damn, a lot of those classes may not be great, but they are functional and do some fun things, even in endgame, compared to Bravely Default 2. But now I'm harping on the less critical aspect of the current game.

Triangle Strategy's pace is absolutely abhorrent. This game wants so badly to be a visual novel. There was a stretch of game, where I shit you not, I went about two hours without ever playing a map. TWO. HOURS! Of nothing but cutscenes, and useless exploration! And I do mean useless.

This is the most wasteful I have ever seen a game be with mechanics. Exploration exists solely to gather information, which can be used to sway your allies to a particular decision as you wish. Except in 50% of cases, those pieces of information don't even work. Hell, probably more than 50% of the time, the solution is picking different dialogue than the special one. So that exploration did nothing. What influences you more is how often you've deployed your ally characters, because they're more likely to listen to you. Alignment matters too, but that one's completely useless.

Alignment comes on three factors: Morality, Utility, and Freedom. Depending on dialogue choices during exploration mostly, you get bonuses to one of these alignments. The first time through, you don't get to know where values are. Things just happen, and it gives the illusion that this matters. But once you're on run two, the illusion shatters, because you know where values are and what their consequences are. For example, my values at the end of run 1 were something like 2000 Utility, 1400 Morality, and 1100 Freedom. I got the Freedom ending by just choosing that path as the sensible one. The only consequence of that being my lowest-rated attribute? It was stated that it would be slightly harder to convince people on that path. I convinced everyone first try. When I went for Utility ending, half the characters wouldn't listen to me. These factors exist for only one purpose, and that is to recruit side characters who have nothing to do with those alignments. Once you have 1500 points, and recruited all those characters, the stat is functionally worthless. It has no influence over anything. It may as well not even exist.

Even the scales are useless. Your decisions have seemingly big shifts in what's happening, but each path loops to the same destination two chapters later. There is a true route that relies on knowing one (1) piece of information from certain decisions, but it really is not significant half the time. I still can't really piece together why visiting your dad is requires for true route. Is it supposed to be Milo? That's my best guess, but fuck if I know.

By actual gameplay during maps, it is painfully slow. No map ever took me more than 15 minutes, but the whole time felt like pulling teeth. I have newfound respect for Fire Emblem. Having a player move all their characters, and spend a good stretch of time engaging in the gameplay before showing how enemies more and letting you react to it en masse, is a good flow. It gives you a sense of control, it lets you feel like you are experiencing gameplay. This turn order shit, where there are like three times as many enemies as allies and your turns are mixed in, results in you getting like three seconds of gameplay before watching enemies move around uselessly for like two minutes, because the maps are too big and nothing happens half the time because you're just in transit to each other. Add in factors like needing to set which way you're facing to avoid back attacks, and going to move only to find out that oops that elevation is slightly too high for them to climb, drags the pace into the mud. It's the least fun I've had with a strategy game.

It doesn't help that the gameplay is too granular to begin with. Elevation is a bad mechanic that takes otherwise simple maps and turns them into a complete stall-fest of getting people to just climb a bit. Anything at Twinsgate is fucking intolerable. Ranged attacks are also a fucking mess, because they bump off level geometry, and will hit your allies instead if someone is standing between you and a target. Not Roland's spear, though. They'll move for his spear, but not Anna's daggers. Which is just...so fucking stupid, and makes the simple act of moving and attacking take longer than it needs for the most frustrating reasons.

As the final gameplay complaint, it's a similar Team Asano issue to Octopath. At the very end of the true route, apropos of nothing and with no warning...you must now use every single character in the game, split across three armies. Now, keep in mind: I mentioned earlier that using your primary cast was highly reinforced. Using them means easily swaying them to your side during voting. There is no reason to ever use the side characters; they have no voice or relevance. You get one or two extra slots beyond the main 8, so you'll likely only train one or two others. The rest of the cast falls hilariously behind the level curve, and suddenly you are told that all of them mattered and you need to level up. There are grinding missions for training! They're exactly as slow as every other map! And now you need to bring all your piddly level 12 units up to 45+ so they can keep up!

I quit. This never happens. I never quit a game when I'm close to beating it. Completionism is my Gamer Sin, and I gave the fuck up. Because I can't deal with that, man. I cannot. Never again. Octopath Traveler had this exact same problem, where suddenly the backups mattered for the first time right at the end without any warning, and I spent so many hours just grinding levels to experience a shitty final boss and no significant story progression past that point. I'm not doing that again. I quit, and watched that story on youtube. And by watched, I mean half-watched, because my wife was playing a more interesting game. I could still follow everything going on. In part because the major reveal of Idore's motivations? You can figure that out no problem with one of the side books. They'll tell you early on that the previous Heirophant took ill during the war and Hyzante fell into chaos. You know exactly what happened and why Idore is acting like this, WAY before his motivation is actually revealed. It's completely unsatisfying, just like the mines.

I could complain about story minutia forever, so we're moving on to cast. The side characters are useless. The main cast is flat. They hint at personality, and can get some development on their respective routes when things have to solidify for the actual story, but prior they're all "strong convictions loosely held." Everyone is so easily swayed off their course they think is sane, that they wind up not holding to any actual values. Frederica can be swayed into handing over her people into slavery. That's how non-committed these people are to literally anything, until the point in the story where they decided divergence was happening, and we could commit.

There were two characters I kinda liked, mostly for dynamic reasons. Cordelia and Avlora. Because Cordelia is her own person, with an actual character growth arc, she's super interesting! Avlora being the super tough general who starts to question her own kingdom and vows to protect Cordelia as someone she respects because of her honorable nature, is super interesting! You get this dynamic for one (1) chapter. Cordelia either then disappears entirely or joins your team depending on your path decision, and either way is written out of the narrative. Avlora "dies" in every decision route, but comes back for the true route only for some reason but is unimportant to the story entirely. Which is. So unsurprising, but so very annoying.

I guess Benedict is the favorite who's actually present? His motivation in the Freedom route is pretty interesting, and his vaguely nefarious plot to get you into a position of power is respectable, at least to me. Moreso than Roland's bitchfit, anyway. Hughette, Geela, Anna, and Erador are functionally without character, operating as side-pieces to the major three driving the ending split. Frederica is fine, but I feel like she doesn't have as much going for her as a person. Her overcoming how she was before is pretty...immediate, in some ways. Things with Erika and Thales just kinda resolve right away on the map, with little more than a brief thought to them at the end of that chapter then moving on. There's one scene in Freedom route where Gustadolph comments on her growth, but I dunno man, there's just not enough fixation on her or her aims. Maybe the Morality Ending does more since that's her path, but I can't be asked.

The side cast is somehow worse. There are side stories! I guess the equivalent of supports in Fire Emblem. They give a little more depth to characters, or at least are supposed to. Probably says enough about quality that every time I saw them come up I groaned about having to read more. The main cast doesn't get much, but side characters, this is all they get for character. I didn't use side characters, so I can only speak to two: Cordelia and Groma, the old punch lady. I hate both of them.

In the case of Groma, it's a matter of the story having nothing to say. Story 1 is her sharing a drink with Geela, recounting the Saltiron War and her time as a general. Specifically, she attacked Hyzante and won a major strategic victory, but in so doing accidentally killed a bunch of Rosellans by burning down what turned out to be a slave encampment. Haunted by the death of so many innocents, she abandoned her station and lives with this guilt, now fully aware that there are no winners in war, and the innocent will always suffer most. ...conversations two is "Haha just kidding, none of the Roselle actually died because they all were freed during Orlaea's uprising so only bad people died then, isn't that a relief?" Like way to undo all of the significant thematic storytelling you might've done there, dude.

Cordelia's is infinitely worse, because it operates on the notion that the citizens are constantly hounding her for being a puppet queen of Aesfrost. While this could be interesting, note that Cordelia is only recruited on the Roland Path where you clean up the Royalists in Glenbrook. You know. Where they reveal that most of the citizenry was on board for Aesfrosts' social mobility plan, and seemed to like their reign, criticizing Roland for being someone who would revert the positive social change. So the citizens of Glenbrook are pro-Aesfrost when we need Roland to be torn, and anti-Aesfrost when we need Cordelia to be. The socio-political climate of Glenbrook may as well not even exist with how wishy-washy public opinion is. It's extra stupid because the bitching at Roland is over him killing Patriatte, a dude who was using his wealth and influence to extract state aid for his personal coffers, and killed two people in the streets. And it's like man, I dunno, if President Biden came out and killed a state senator in public for embezzling funds and then proclaimed everyone would be taxed fairly, I'm pretty sure that would only do positive things for his approval rating. It would get my vote, is all I'm saying.

There is one last thing I feel like needs to be said. I only knew about this game due to all the old comments and complaints about this trying to copy Three Houses. It was a huge talking point when it came out; that this was trying to ride the success of Three Houses, and copying that game's style. I don't think that's fair. This game is very distinct and similarities are mostly incidental. It is different, but if we're willing to compare them, it is worse. Three Houses has a stronger opening hook, a more colorful and engaging cast, smoother gameplay, a side cast that actually matters, a main cast with more serious convictions, and broadly just more to offer. The only real similarity they share is that they completely fall apart on a second playthrough as you realize it is not fun to progress through this visual novel's poor map design for a couple scraps of new information. Which was not the element I imagine they wanted to replicate here.

All that to say: Bad game. Would not recommend.

#triangle strategy #triangle strategy salt

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dutifullyshamelessearthquake · 10 months

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Lets talk world building!

Something I absolutely love doing, is weaving little details into the fics I write for my AU that has to do with where the fics play off in the timeline. Even if these little details mean absolutely nothing to the readers most of the time, it makes writing so much more fun for me! I'm essentially telling the stories of these characters' lives, through sickfics, or at least, that's the rough idea behind it. So let's go through some of the stories in my Kazugorou series, and I'll point out some of the little details I added, or give you some fun facts about where in the series' timeline the fic takes place!

"Should have Stayed Home" is, obviously, the Kazugorou fic set earliest in the timeline, as it is currently the only fic set before they started dating. Not counting this fic, the one set earliest in their relationship would be "Just a Little Tired!" This story is actually set not long after Gorou and Kazuha first moved in together — hinted at by the fact that Kazuha mentions being taken aback by how little clothes Gorou own. In this fic Kazuha also mentions that its been quite some time since he's gotten sick, while in more recent fics, he often deals with migraines — another sign that this fic is set quite a bit earlier than the rest.

In "A Road Trip Catastrophe," Heizou's living situation is brought up for the first time, and it's the first time he ever stays over at Kazuha and Gorou's place for a while due to their apartment being larger than Aether's. In "Date Night," Aether talks about selling the apartment, which hints that Heizou's living situation will be changing soon.

Despite the fact that "Painkillers" came out before "A Raid Trip Catastrophe," Kazuha mentions already being used to Heizou's presence in the apartment, which indicates that it takes place after "A Road Trip Catastrophe."

"An Unexpected Panic Attack" takes place before Heizou ever stayed over at Kazuha and Gorou's place, and its suggested that its the start of their close friendship which eventually leads to him staying there more often.

In "Unearthing Old Memories" its revealed that Tomo, Kazuha's highschool sweetheart, died in an accident. While an exact time isn't given, years passed between Tomo's death, and the start of Kazuha's relationship with Gorou. In "Exhausted" it is shown that Kazuha still struggles with his grief at time.

Gorou's motion sickness has always been a problem, and has been mentioned since the first fic in the series. In "Just a Little Tired" Gorou mentions getting seasick on a boat while Kazuha was unaffected — Perhaps I should write a fic about this occurrence at some point? In "Promise Me" Gorou mentions not wanting to go on any rides, due to his recurring motion sickness. And finally, in "A Road Trip Catastrophe" Gorou brings up his carsickness multiple times, while actively feeling sick on the road.

In "Unearthing Old Memories" Gorou mentioned that he and Kazuha had been to the ER once before, and that is was an unpleasant experience for Kazuha due to his anxiety. While Gorou doesn't go into detail about what this ER trip was for, I will inform you that it involved Gorou being the one in need of medical attention — anybody want this as a fic?

Of course this series is far from over, and I have so much more I want to explore! Early relationship Kazugorou, think when they first moved in together, so many opportunities - first time Kazuha found out Gorou got sympathy sick? The first time Gorou was present for one of Kazuha's migraines? The possibilities!

#earthquake author's note #sickfic #genshin sickfic

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afreakingdork · 1 year

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What's Next?

Hey, everybody! Gosh, I was really hoping I would have polls to make this more interactive, but sadly tumblr said that is not to be! Since Crush Too Much has ended, I was hoping to ask y'all how you wanted it to be posted up on ao3, but without polls I'll just have to decide.

Therefore, starting tomorrow and for the next 22 days I'm going to be throwing up the chapters of Crush Too Much on ao3!

To celebrate the occasion and hopefully make it fun for people who have already read, I'll be doing a daily post here that include bonus content from thoughts to a timeline and whatever notes I had been pouring over when i was writing! I'm also going through and re-editing the fic because I definitely missed a bunch of dumb technical errors. While I can't promise they'll all be totally eradicated (editing 😩), I can hopefully say that it will confidently read a little better in some ways! Sadly, we'll be losing the color with an ao3 posting, but I hope the chapter titles make up for that.

What's next?

I once stated in an ask that my timeline didn't include anymore rottmntxreader fanfiction because I needed to finish my incomplete kacchako fics and start my original story. That is still the plan, but.... well.... since then I... may or may not have.... uh.... written pages and pages and pages for a new donniexreader fic.... Willpower be damned... I'm still putting it together and I am not allowing myself to really get into it without at least STARTING to finish my other fics, but may I present to you:

Weak Spot

A RotTMNT Donatello x Fem!Reader explicit fanfiction that will explore romance and love when your partner just so happens to be a villain.

That's right! it's going to be a villain!Donniexreader fanfic! It's going to be porn with plot and way more freeform than Crush Too Much. To clarify, they are totally unrelated and unlike it's predecessor, it does not have a single overarching story to tell. Instead, as I said, I just want to languidly explore the many facets of love and self when it comes to good and evil. Since I'll be writing it concurrently while finishing my other fanfics, please note that updates will be longer in between and I still have no schedule. I can tell you that I think about it constantly so expect the first chapter starting next month without a doubt.

I also want to address the shift to a fem!reader. I feel like I'm letting down my audience by not continuing to make reader gender neutral. There's been an ongoing discussion of how to write gender neutral sex and though I know I should push myself, I also find myself leaning back into the comfort of what I know. I going to really push to skirt the line as much as possible tthough, so reader will be generic as possible most of the time. I do truly apologize for the shift and will continue to work to improve my writing.

If you're curious about the process, I have a membership tier on my ko-fi where I'll be throwing up WIPs and other details/notes about Weak Spot as I write! Otherwise, all posted chapters will be going up on there/here/ao3 generally as well. If you're curious, a follow is always free~

Speaking of follows...?

I am less than 50 followers away from 1000! I'm still on track to hold that giveaway contest and write that one-shot when we hit it! Thank you so much for following along and I can't wait until we can celebrate!!! 🎉

I think that clears everything up! I'm always open to hearing your thoughts and I'm super excited for what this year seems to be bringing 😃 I seriously cannot thank each and every one of you enough. My life is different now and truly for the better because of all of you!

#about me #update

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calextheneko · 7 months

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Tales From Switch City: Zach's Tale

Oh my gosh, it's the thing I actually do, write furry TF fiction stories. So real quick plug before the rest of the story. You can provide support for these.

Support me on Patreon! Patreon Link Or buy me a Coffee! Ko-fi Link Join Calex's Transformation Station on Discord Discord Server Official Calex T-Shirts Buy My Shirts! Physical Books and eBooks Buy my book!

And you can read more stories on my FA and personal webs site as I'll only be uploading new stories from here out because there are over 1000 stories by this point not even lying I do not have the energy for that kind of backlog.

With all that, let's begin with our preamble. This is part of a series for Patrons called Tales from Switch City. Normally Switch City tales are patreon exclusive, and when I'm not laying in bed dying come out once a month. As I am currently laying on my death bed been hard to write and get things done so patreon has been paused pretty much all year. You can still pledge $1 to get access to all the old Switch City stories. And once Patreon opens again, for $5 you can add your OC into the pool of characters to be used for the stories and sign up for stories that interest you once they start up again.

In the meantime, I owe a substantial word count to people, wasn't able to do 13 Tales, my usual annual Halloween series this year or last, so this seemed like a nice bonus I could offer patrons to cash in word counts on if they wanted to be part of this series, or save their stored word counts for other stories they wanted, as well as a way to introduce the world of Switch City to people outside patreon who may not know it exists.

What is Switch City? A city built on a nexus point in the multiverse. As a result, the walls of reality bend and people constantly slip into other universes in Reality Shifts due to thin these boundaries are, and suddenly find themselves in strange and often radically different worlds.

So basiclaly it's an isekai series with each story taking place in a different universe version of Switch City and an excuse for lots of transformation and shenanigans.

Without further ado, tonight's tale. Zach, trying to drive to the grovery store undergoes a Reality Shift and finds himself at an abanadoned festival full of delicious food instead. Aware that thi is suspicious as heck, he decides to get out of there, but leaving may not be as easy as he wants. And is that truly want he wants?

Special thanks to @lockelyfox who has been helping me with edits while I'm sick and barely hanging in here.

And now, our feature presentation.

Tales From Switch City

Zach’s Tale

By CalexTheNeko

Switch city: a strange place built on a Nexus between worlds.

There are an infinite number of universes and timelines, and an infinite number of versions of yourself. Under normal conditions you would remain oblivious to these other timelines, unable to ever enter or witness them. But, where there is a nexus, and the walls between realities are thin, it is possible to cross over even without knowing it.

These events are called reality shifts, and occur quite often, yet most people don’t even notice it, for many timelines are quite similar. For example, you may crossover into a timeline where back in the third grade your favorite color was red instead of blue. A difference between your realities to be sure, but one that may not have had any major impact on your life, and as a result nothing would be discernibly different when you entered your new reality. However, some timelines are radically different. Some have magic, some have advanced technology, and some are so distinct that your imagination could not even conceive of their very nature. And so, sometimes you may find yourself in a reality that is unfamiliar, with rules that don’t make any sense, and there is seldom an easy way back.

Zach was a young man with messy pale brown hair, sporting smart glasses on his face, and dressed comfortably in a hoodie and jeans. Today he was simply running to the grocery store. A very mundane task that suddenly became anything but. Zach had no way of knowing that a reality shift had occurred, but it was clear there was a problem when the asphalt roads were suddenly replaced by dirt roads and the grocery store that should have been just around the bend was replaced by some kind of festival.

His first assumption was that he had somehow turned onto the wrong road, and simply wound up at some local fairgrounds instead of the store. But as he looked through his rearview mirror of his car, he saw a thick forest behind him that he had not driven through on his way here. It was highly doubtful that he would have driven straight through the woods without noticing. Though he might occasionally get lost in his thoughts, no one was that absent minded. So what was the logical conclusion? Was this a dream, or maybe a stress induced vision? Who could say? Either way this clearly wasn’t the grocery store.

He decided the best thing to do would be to try to drive back the way he had come in the hope that he might see something familiar. But, as he shifted his car into reverse, the engine stalled and refused to work. Then all the electronic displays in his car turned off. It was as if everything in the car had died all at once, leaving him stranded here.

He pulled out his cell phone to try to call his roommate to come pick him up. It would likely be a challenge to explain where he was, since he didn’t know himself, but it was a challenge he would never have to face. Much like his car, his cell phone was completely dead and would not power on. This was bad, but not impossible to resolve. If there was a festival going on, there had to be people here somewhere, and surely he could find someone who would let him borrow a phone so that he could call and get a ride. Worst cast, they would at least be able to tell him where he was so he could give his roommate accurate directions.

Zach got out of the car and walked into the festival grounds. Rather than aisles of groceries, there were various food stands. In place of the produce section, he could see rows of carnival games. And where the store’s ‘Employee Only’ stock rooms should be was instead stages for various shows. Yet, despite the fact that there was obviously an ongoing festival, there was not a soul to be found except for Zach himself. He was greeted by the alluring aroma of delicious food. There were all kinds of different dishes many he did not recognize but it was clear most of them seem to be of Asian origin. He saw plenty of stands selling various forms of noodles and rice including ramen as well as dumplings and mochi based sweets. The scent was heavenly and torturous at the same time. He suddenly felt as if he was starving and the food became the most tempting thing in the world.

“Hello?” He called out as he looked around the stands. “Is anyone here? Is someone running any of these stands?” Zach’s question was met with only silence. There was no one to purchase food from, and yet all the food was freshly made as if it was sitting there just for him to eat.

The lack of people around was unsettling to say the least. Despite the fact that he could not see anyone, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being watched. He felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck, but the allure of the food seemed to be overpowering his hesitation. It was almost as if it was magically beckoning him to eat it.

“Nope!” He exclaimed as he turned around and started to walk back towards his car. People did not just stumble across empty festivals with food made just for them. He’d seen this movie before. With no idea what this was, or why it was here, it would be a violation of the most basic rules of common sense to just eat food simply sitting out. For all he knew, the food could be poisonous or drugged in some manner. Even if it wasn’t, the food couldn’t possibly be intended for him. He wasn’t a thief, and he was too smart to fall for some nefarious plot.

As he made his way back to the car, the trees surrounding him began to wrestle and sway. Something was coming. He tried to quickly get into his car but found that the doors had somehow locked themselves. That would, of course, be ridiculous, so he thought he must have just hit the lock button on his fob by instinct when he left it. Strange that it still worked while everything else in the car had failed, but maybe that meant his car wasn’t completely dead. He might even be able to get it going and get out of here, wherever ‘here’ was. However, as he pressed the unlock button, the doors refused to unlock. So the key fob was also dead. Well, he still had the key!. He quickly placed that into the door handle and turned… and it snapped in half.

“Oh come on! That doesn’t even make sense!” Zach threw his hands up in the air in disbelief. There hadn’t even been any resistance when he turned it, it simply snapped inside the lock. Now he was going to need a lockpick to come out, or get the car towed! This was unbelievable. No, something strange was clearly going on. He reconsidered his earlier thought that this might be a dream, but everything felt so real. As if the problem with his car wasn’t bad enough, the rustling from the trees was getting louder. Whatever was out there was getting closer. Zach continued to try to turn the remnants of the key in the lock, pulling on the car handle to try and open the car, but it wouldn’t work. Should he run? Hide? If so, where could he even go? Behind his car was far too obvious, and it wasn’t as if the festival stands were going to provide any better cover. He briefly considered smashing his window when out of the blue, they arrived.

“Congratulations!”

Several pointed ears popped out of the brush cheering in voices that Zach could understand. The strangest part was that he knew that they were not speaking English, and yet somehow he was able to understand their foreign words. “You’re the first mortal in over two centuries to pass this test.” A golden fox with nine tails spoke as it walked out of the brush in front of the others and approached him. “For your ability to resist the temptation of taking that which belongs to the spirits, you deserve a reward.”

“Talking… foxes....” Zach muttered, as he stared at the golden fox in front of him. Specifically, he was focused on its nine luxurious tails. “So fluffy...” Without another thought in his head, he reached out a hand to try to pet one of the captivating, soft-looking appendages.

“Ah yes, they are remarkable, and quite fluffy.” The fox responded, clearly amused by the situation. He allowed Zach to touch one of his tails without resisting. “It was our intention to invite you to partake of the feast with us, and join in our celebrations as a reward for your temperance. But, based on your reaction, I suspect there is a different reward that you might find suitable.”

Zach felt a gentle, comforting warmth flow from the tail he was touching. It traveled through his hand and into his entire body as easily as water flows gently down a stream. In moments, it almost felt like his body was covered in a soft, warm, fur coat. It was at this point that he realized that the clothing he was wearing was starting to feel uncomfortable and itchy. He looked down at himself. The sensation of being covered in fur wasn’t just internal; he literally was covered in fur now, or at least starting to be. Brown fur was growing in patches all across his body, making his clothing more and more uncomfortable. Without thinking, he quickly took off his shirt and breathed a sigh of relief as some of the discomfort was relieved. In his shoes, however, was where he was experiencing he most unpleasantness. It was almost painful.

He quickly dropped to the ground and pulled his shoes off just in time to see a set of small, sharp claws rip through the edges of his socks. He attempted to remove them, but they couldn’t maintain their structure as his feet were now changing shape. They were extending, covered in brown fur, and, surprising absolutely no one, and to many a people’s delight, he had cute little toe beans!. It wasn’t difficult to figure out what was going on at this point. While some people might have been terrified by the fact they were turning into some kind of animal, and others might have gone into denial, all Zach could feel was a sense of ecstasy.

Having a pretty good idea of what was going to come next, Zach quickly pulled his remaining clothing off. The lower half of his body had already finished covering itself in fur, and now the tip of his tailbone was extending outward, rapidly forming into a tail. With a quiet ‘fwish’, the single tail split into three, which then all in turn split into three more, giving him a total of nine tails. Rushing upward from the base, the fur filled in thick on each and every one,making it just as fluffy as the kitsune before him.

It was at this point that Zach's glasses fell right off of his face. He tried to catch them, but as he extended his hands he saw that they were hands no more. He was instead flexing vulpine paws without opposable thumbs. Without a way to actually manipulate them and put them back on, they simply fell to the dirt, leaving him wondering why they had even fallen off in the first place. As he reached his new paws up to touch his face, the answer came quickly. In fact, he was surprised he hadn’t noticed it sooner! The front of his face had pushed out into a long, pointed snout which intruded into his vision. There was no doubt what had caused them to be pushed off of his face. As he further inspected his changes, he also found that his ears were not where they should have been. Instead, they were now much larger, triangular in shape and had relocated themselves to the top of his head.

The changes were complete.

From an outside perspective, there was no trace of humanity left in Zach, other than his blue irises. For all intents and purposes, he was now a normal fox. Except, of course, for the fact that he had nine tails.

“Whoa!?” He tried to stand and quickly fell over. His brain had not yet realized that he was quadrupedal, and couldn’t stand on two legs anymore. He readjusted, cautiously trying to stand once more, this time on four legs. “This is so cool...” His nine tails began to swish from side to side, and as he did, a wisp of fire lit on the tip of each tail. He looked astonished as he realized that he had created fox fire, and he focused, bringing his tails together as the motes of fire all joined together into one the size of a basketball. Flashing a mischievous grin, he started to wonder what other magic he could do. But the thought quickly turned to concern as he realized he had no idea how to extinguish the flames.

“Uh, a little help here- I think I might have made a mistake?” He pleaded, looking at the golden kitsune who had granted him this boon.

“Oh dear. Perhaps I was a bit too hasty in my assessment of your initial capabilities.” The golden fox lifted up a paw, quickly pushing it against Zach’s nose. In an instant the fire went out. But not only that, the golden fox appeared to grow larger.

That wasn’t quite correct. Everything around him was getting bigger. But, far more alarming than that was the fact that his tails were slowly disappearing one by one. That wasn’t fair, he liked having multiple tails! Sure, before today he hadn’t even had one, but now he knew the joy of having multiple. With that amount of fluff, he could have curled them up and used them as a bed for a nap if he wanted to. But as he continued to shrink, his tails continued to vanish until he had only a single one left, and he found the golden fox towering over him. He tried to speak up, to object to this gross tail-based injustice, but instead of his complaints, he only produced a series of yips and yaps instead.

“Relax, little one.” The kitsune chuckled. “You’ll get all nine of them back in time.” He curled his own tails around him as he sat on his haunches, looking down at the smaller fox. “It occurred to me that giving a human the power of a fully grown kitsune may have been a slightly daft idea. That is far too much firepower, both literally and metaphorically, without the experience or understanding necessary to make use of it.” He lifted his paw and lightly bapped Zach on his head, “So I reduced your form to that of a kit. You’ve spent, what, twenty summers as a human? That’s basically an infant in our comparatively longer lifespan, so this form is more appropriate. Do not fret, you’ll still be capable of a little bit of magic as you are now, but we won’t have to worry about you accidentally burning down the entire forest.”

“Yip?” Zach tilted his head. The explanation was actually calming. The idea of being a young kit, rather than an adult, was one he found appealing on further consideration. Sure, it came with less magic, but it also meant less responsibility. And, echoing that sentiment, it meant that he could play more. Speaking of play, he wasn’t sure if it was all the excitement of the various changes he just underwent, but he found that he had an abundance of energy and needed desperately to expend it on something. He could chase his own tail, but the nine, shifting tails of the golden fox were much more alluring. He swayed his tail rapidly back and forth, crouching low against the grass… before he pounced onto the golden foxes’ tails, wriggling around and biting at them!

“H-hey!” The gold fox stammered, “not so hard. You may be a kit, but your teeth are sharp!” Despite his words, the amusement was obvious in the golden fox’s voice. He began to shift and sway his tails around to intentionally tease the young fox making a game out of it, so that Zach had to work for his newfound prey.

“Roawr!” Zach gave a playful growl as he continued to chase the golden fox’s tails. Somehow, this simple little game was more fun than any video game or other hobby he had engaged in in his entire life. Maybe it was just because he was so young, or maybe it was simply that tails were just that awesome.

“Quite the playful little scamp aren’t you?” The golden fox asked amusedly. “Well, it’s good to see you take to your new form so naturally, rather than sulk about it. You know, the humans who fail the test, we punish by turning them into small animals. As mice, squirrels, or other small creatures, they then must participate in games and races during the festival. We place bets on who will win. It’s all rather good fun. They get changed back after the festival is over, of course, we’re not monsters.” The golden fox grinned as he continued to watch the kit continue to chase after his tails, nearly pinning one to the ground.

He continued, bemusedly, “Of course, you might be the first human we’ve actually gifted our form to in, hmmm, well, longer than I can remember. And, well, I’m a couple thousand years old. We normally allow those gracious enough to honor the spirits to participate in the festival as a guest, rather than an attraction. But you seemed so fascinated with my tails, I thought you might enjoy some of your own.” He was so caught up in his story that he hadn’t noticed the small kit even once transfixed on anything other than chasing his tails around. “Hey, small one, are you paying attention to me?”

“Yip?” Zach paused from his play to look up at the golden fox with curiosity.

“Heh.” The fox chuckled, resuming his expository history lesson. “ No doubt you’re wondering when you’ll have more tails again.” He splayed his own out as if making a point, “Many of us get our second tail around the time that we turn about a century old.” He held up a paw and flexed a single digit to once again make a point. “However, for us kitsune, our age is not actually tied to the flow of time but to our state of mind. Your age will reflect your demeanor. . Act childish, and you will remain so. Act maturely, and you will gain not only maturity, but more power. I will warn you, some never grow old enough to gain a second tail, though that is usually by choice. If that is yours, we will respect it. That being said, since you were already an adult, for a human, you could rapidly grow as you learn our ways and train to control your new powers.”

“Roawr!” Zach gave another playful growl and pounced on one of the gold fox’s tais while he was distracted. He had tried to listen to most of what the other fox had told him. His big take away was that he never had to grow up as long as he didn’t act like a grown up. And that definitely had its appeal, even if it meant that he wouldn’t get all nine fluffy tails.

“Yeouch!” the gold fox shouted, though his grin made it clear that his cry of pain was fake. “Given your current behavior, I’m guessing you’re in no hurry to get back to adulthood. Honestly, that’s probably for the best. After all, the more time you spend as a kit, the more time you have to learn. And you, young one, have a lot to learn before you should have access to all of our power” Though the golden fox had figured out that he was enjoying being young once more, he hadn’t quite caught on that Zach planned on never growing up. That would probably become obvious after a century or two.

“YAP!” Zach gave an impatient bark and looked at the older fox expectantly. The fox had stopped teasing him with his tails and the game wasn’t as much fun anymore.

“Still in the mood to play, eh?” The golden fox barely held back his laughter. “Well, maybe you can play with something that spares my tails from your teeth. After all, there is a festival to attend, and now you can attend it as one of us.” He turned and looked towards the numerous stands just beyond Zach’s now abandoned car, “I’m sure you’d enjoy partaking in many of the games, as well as meeting some of the other fox kits among the clan. So, how about you let go of my tail for a bit and I’ll show you a few wonders?” The golden fox did not wait for a reply. In one swift motion, he turned his body in a circle, moving his tails out of Zach’s reach. Before he could give chase once more, the golden fox bit down gently on his scruff and lifted him into the air.

The young kit squirmed for a bit, but the fox had him good. There was no escaping his grasp. For now. Despite that, Zach could not help but be excited. His little fox kit tail was wagging so fast, it was in danger of coming off. There were just so many things to be excited for. For starters: he was no longer human; that was a huge improvement right there! And, of course, he wasn’t an adult, another huge improvement. Then, throw in the fact that he had been freed from the tyranny of pants, that he didn’t have to grow up again if he didn’t want to, that there was a festival of games and food to enjoy, and that he was going to get to start his new life among this kitsune civilization, and he honestly couldn’t think of a better end to the day! The only real downside to this was that he wouldn’t be able to play video games anymore. But, honestly, while video games were fun they paled in comparison to the simple joy of chasing a tail. On top of that, he was quite certain that once he met kits his own age, he was going to learn so many new games that were fun and exciting. Who knew what mischief that he might get into with his new friends once he learned a bit more about how kitsune magic worked. Even if he was just a tiny little fox kit, he still had a spark of magic. And a spark of magic meant that he could cause a hint of trouble.

He was, in fact, so excited to enter this new life that he forgot about what brought him here in the first place. It never occurred to him that he’d even left his own world, stepping into one where the very rules of the universe had changed. Circumstance had led him to fit in, but the same would apply to the things he brought with him. By the time he returned to next year’s festival, his car would be nothing more than a fern covered boulder.. It wouldn’t even occur to him that the two were one in the same, or that his car had undergone some kind of transfiguration.

And why should he think about such things? This new life, it didn’t matter if it was in a new world or his own, he only knew that it made him happy. The philosophical ramifications of his current situation might be something to keep someone else up at night, but to him, they simply weren’t important. What was important was that he was able to enjoy his life to the fullest.

And he chose to do just that.

The End

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