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shanieveh · 8 months

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“ forget me not... ”

synopsis: neuvillette, too late to confess his love to you, is drowning from the suffering and regret that came along with it, especially after knowing that you felt the same all along.

tags: gn!reader x neuvillette, depression and low self-esteem, bittersweet ending, mentions of freminet, lynette and melusines, heavily implied reader death and neuvillette also kinda wanting to die

a/n: people want this and i have came to deliver (hopefully) enjoy~ this is my first long fic that i published

How can this be….?

Neuvillette sat in the corner of his office, all your letters in his right hand. How can you say you loved him… how dare you describe the love, the passion, everything you felt for him when he can't even say it back.

How can you love someone so unlovable?

His silent cries can't match up to the violent outbursts of the skies outside. Days went by when he first found out, the melusines were scared to death about who would report it to him. The way you dissolved into water, not even seeing you for the last time—not having the privilege to have a proper funeral.

He failed you… the monsieur wasn't too sure on many things but this one was certain.

Reading your diaries, knowing your thoughts and hopes for the future. It was an invasion of privacy but also in a way… the last remnants of your existence. One such entry was that of three years ago where you first met.

Encountering this, a profuse blush colored his face. The adjectives being used "handsome", "tall" and "kind" for your first meetingwith the chief justice. Far from the truth really, although Neuvillette knew you meant every word.

You always did.

You always were an honest person.

The very first day his lavender eyes met yours, to the very last. There was never a trace of impurity or a hint of a liar. Of course, the verdict went in your favor, because to him a precious rose like you can never steal and the plaintiffs were wrong.

Reading it now, not even a slightly negative comment was made to those who wrongly accused you.

"Maybe they had their reasons, after all, I was also in need of money at that time." you wrote. Adding on that you defended the "Monsieur Neuvillette" when people called "such a man of honor and kindness" a "merciless and arrogant man".

A man of honor and kindness? Your words became running thoughts in the hydro dragon's head. That day was one of the only days he didn't cry after a trial. Neuvillette was just happy that such a person of integrity was cleared of their name.

He turned through the pages of the diary, how you taught him to socialize and even mend his relationship with the hydro archon.

"Monsieur Neuvillette was too adorable! Being with a person of lowly status and treating me with such respect and humility, he truly is the epitome of mercy and loveliness."

How can you be so blind? Anyone with eyes will know that it's a privilege to be with someone so beautiful, especially to be with someone like Neuvillette. A cold and repulsive soul. You make him sound like a good person, when in fact he isn't both good and human.

He was a monster… these words of humanity you always used to describe a monster. Why do they sound so genuine? Why do they look so real? Maybe only you can make him like that, you and only you.

A few pages later he finally saw the words…

Words that should've made him scream in euphoria… tore him to a million pieces. Because even before this he already loved you… because you had so much time to confess but never did… and never will.

"I think I'm in love with the chief Justice."

And after that, he couldn't even get himself to read, he couldn't. His eyes got so blurry to see, his heart became too heavy to feel. Why were you… why you? In a world filled with monsters, they chose an angel. They chose a soul that still wanted to live, love and give. Those demons… despicable.

Remembering his shortcomings, maybe in some way he could've avoided all of this. Neuvillette shouldn't have given you his blessing to investigate the serial disappearance case.

But that glint of adventure in your eyes… he was too soft to reject you.

It was all his fault.

Wiping his tears he looked at the last entry of the diary… Oh.

Oh.

"After this investigation, I'll finally confess to him… I surely hope Neuvillette feels the same way, I even planted some forget-me-nots to give him in the backyard so that he'll know when it rains and he weeps. I will always be here."

The chief justice didn't know what was coming to him but he started running… and only then can he see the state of Fontaine. Many flowers have wilted and only a few people were outside. What had he become..?

"What's up with this weather? It isn't even the rainy season yet?!" A shop owner complained.

"I know! My crops have been drowning these days, at this rate if it doesn't stop we'll have a famine!"

It was all his fault, his running turned to a slow walk taking in all that he had done. This was all because of him. The lonely streets, the lowered morale. This was all because—

"Hydro dragon, hydro dragon, please don't cry!"

He turned to the voice and saw a young boy in the distance. Neuvillette remembered now, his name was Freminet. That child on which you doted extremely, giving him sweets and hushing his tears. The chief justice quickly let go of his gaze and continued to walk.

"You see Freminet, it didn't work... let's go inside."

The response was that of a stoic young woman, but he just continued his legs even if they wanted to rest all to see the last thing you cared for… those flowers. And when he finally was at the destination he saw it immediately outside.

It was in the bushes, he couldn't miss it. Every corner of your house was haunted, every tiny thing was a memory. The chairs you painted, the drawings pinned in the cabinet of you and him with the melusines. It was precious. All of it. Just as you are.

He finally saw them, most were almost to bloom and some were wilted. Picking one he unconsciously kissed it, perhaps mistaking it for you. These flowers were made to remind him he was never alone, but now he is.

More alone than he can ever be in one lifetime. Your scent still filled every corner, a remembrance of the biggest "what if" in his life. Your will stated that every single thing of yours is his just as you were always his. Bittersweet was he when reading it.

Neuvillete forgot that too included your house, maybe he was too consumed with your thoughts to visit this place. He was twisting the poor flower that looked so tiny compared to his hand. Perhaps that's what it's like to be with him. It's a curse…

He continues to caress the flowers, to treat them as if they were you. You were wrong on one thing about this, even if there were no flowers he will never forget you. Never, no way! The love he has for you can destroy nations and can cause millions of sacrifices. Just to keep you, to see your smile again.

But he can't even do that, you didn't give him the privilege to do something for you. If only he knew, he would've… done everything for you. The love that can create the strongest of floods failed to protect the one person he was supposed to protect.

At that moment, he felt the waters, the ocean, his home… you. It made his crying bearable, somewhat. Grief that could surpass a lifetime, wasn't enough. Nothing he can do will ever be enough to have you again. Perhaps he should also leave this world to stop being a burden to the people… and maybe to see you again.

"Neuvillette…"

Now he was even imagining your voice, or was he? Maybe he was delusional but he still followed your voice even if it took him to an unknown path. But the end was in a small pond, where you used to keep the fish, all of which were alive and well.

"Neuvillette…?"

At this he didn't even care if was going insane, your voice sounded like a melody even if it uttered his name. It sounded like a rare jewel, a myth, a prophecy too good to be true.

"Darling?" He replied in a hopeful tone. He looked through his surroundings, no longer was he in a pond but a terrain of boundless water. In the middle was a flying Oceanid, a spirit. Was it—could it be?

"Even I could feel the heavy pouring of rain, monsieur… don't be sad."

It was indeed your spirit, a part of you that remained before that bastard—he'll make whoever did this pay. It wasn't for justice anymore, this one is for revenge.

"How can I not? When I have failed you over and over again, I couldn't even get to say…"

"That you love me?"

His eyes widened, looking at you. Even if it didn't look like you, he knew… he always did. A nod soon followed after that, it was barely noticeable even at this rate the chief justice was a bit shy saying it.

"I just don't know why you could ever say you love me, how you could even think of me so kindly. Why? How? How can you love me back?" He was clueless to what you mean.

"How can I not?"

The reply you uttered was one of a teary-eyed person. Even to this moment you still haven't accepted you had died, not when he was still alone needing you.

"Just as you said… how can I not? You out of all people my dear… know of the sacrifices we make for the person we love."

It was that moment where you took your normal form, you looked beautiful as the day he lost you. As beautiful as the day you met. And as you walked towards him, the clock ticking until your final goodbye, it was time.

"I love you Neuvillette, i always had and continue to do so." For the last time, you cupped his cheek and kissed him.

"I love you, darling from the very beginning and every single lifetime to come." He let go of the kiss and hugged you tight, closing his eyes, until you disappeared not knowing he was hugging his own.

Opening his eyes, the rain was long gone, and what remained were the flowers in the bushes, the ponds, the fish, and him. Maybe… just maybe he will bring you and the other victims to light.

Until then, this one last encounter and goodbye will make him content. He was sure… that finally his love will be at rest.

#neuvillette x y/n #neuvillette x you #neuvillette x reader #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette genshin #neuvillette x gender neutral reader #neuvillette #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #genshin neuvillette #neuvillette angst #neuvillette imagines #neuvillette drabbles #genshin angst #genshin imagines

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azure-cherie · 5 months

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𝐏𝐀𝐂 : 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅.𝐒.

Hello love's for this reading i channel a love letter from your future spouse , i really have a lack of fs readings and ik I don't do that enough but here's it because I feel so called to do this todayyy. Take what resonates and leave the rest , you can choose multiple . I hope you guys like this and feedbacks are always always appreciated !!!!!

Pile 1 :

Mon Amour ,

The sweet river of my life, the reason I live , the reason I thrive , I've been seeing you in my dreams since past lives and I can't fathom the beauty in your eyes . Ever since we've been together and the day i met you my life has been absolutely the one I dream of . Thank you for always being the shoulder I can learn on thank you i think i don't say it enough, you deserve the world and I'm trying everyday to bring in the world for you . I love the way you make art and love the way you make me your muse if I had the talent you had i probably would sing for you . I love your sweet kisses like candy and i hate every moment i argue so I'm happy to be sorry first kidding I know you're always right kinda bad on my part right , I wanna give you the world and there's so much to be done yet , so much to achieve , so much to heal but i know with you by my side i will heal. So i steal the thunder from heaven to make a souvenir of my love even when i am dead the way i tell you about my love won't be enough.

- yours completely

Pile 2 :

Dear love ,

In my darkest days you're the light I turn to , my heart is so full even when my brain is in shambles because I have you . I'm so in love that I can barely eat so I soak up your sunshine and I'm all fine and better under your holy light . We are a pair and we will make history and all these people that think we're too young too naive will be left in misery, they don't see you like i do, we both see each other . They say love is a big thing but I'd like laundry and taxes with you . Plain bread with you tastes like heaven , even tho I'm a heathen i pray the heavens for you may the paradise we make last forever, may i always keep jewellery in your altar , may things never be forbidden in our diary and in all of the things that are may I know one thing for sure that I don't wanna spend a moment away from you anymore . I burn for you I'm human for you .

- your lover

Pile 3 :

Hey Miss,

Springtime your time my time I look at you my beautiful flower fuller than poppies , more abundant than a lotus , like a burning rose with desire , you set me on fire , yet you cool me like running water how do you do , how do you put me in this state . I wanna love you don't you think it's getting late for even a while to wait , meet me at the garden gate . I don't know much but I know I came into earth to be with you i could be a tree but I'm a human to love you like humans do . How could you know me so well i almost lose myself when I'm with you and that's what I want when I'm with you to be free like a child . I wanna devote all my evenings to make coffee for you and i wanna spend all my breaths being high because I love you so much my thoughts spin out , you're moon herself you grant wishes so please grant mine goddess divine .

- always yours

Pile 4 :

Hey sweetheart,

I've been on a quest to find you , since I was young I've always felt that I was meant for more than just I saw what other couples around me had I knew I needed to be drowned and insane when i like someone , but the way you lift me up gave me all of it together , you're all the bright colours at once , yet you're a mystery , I love that i figure out something beautiful about you each day I know life with you can never be boring, it's always fun always worth living , thank you for holding me when the world discarded me , I know angels are real because i have seen you . Sorry for the times i mess things up , i never want that . we need to be together to explore this world without this bond this earth is mere ground with fire at the core , I wanna love you more . How do I explain this love where do I put all my love for you you're growing into me with each day I place your name in my heart like a sweet melody , i live to love you , I love to love you.

- only yours forever

Thank you so much for reading, have a great day/night ❤️

#god this felt so god #this was the pac i wrote fastest #pac readings #pac tarot #tarot pac #pac reading #pac #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #pick a photo #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a pile #future spouse pick a card #future spouse reading #future spouse

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petaltexturedskies · 9 months

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"Please don't ask me" I said. "I am in love that is all I know. and it is the most wonderful feeling in the world." (…) I said I was in love. And I am. I think I have always loved, and am loving and will love forever. Who? I do not know. A shadow, a fancy. smoke, a vision. no tangible person yet, but someone. (…) Had I been a man, I would have been an eternal lover. Being a woman, what am I? The future will tell. Only, I am in love, because my heart is awake to every vibration, to every touch or nature and humanity. I feel, always, from day to day, sorrow and joy. I live and dream love.

The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1920-1923

#anaïs nin #anais nin #diaries #The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin #The Early Diary of Anais Nin #on love #txt

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leaderwon · 2 months

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come back i still need you

paring : nonidol!jungwon x reader

warnings : character death, ANGST left and right, mentions of being depressed

word count : 1.5k

luna's diary : kinda shed a tear writing this

IT HAD BEEN, 3 weeks and 6 days, since you left him.

He was stuck in the endless loop of the 4th stage of grief. Depression, and was left wondering if he'll ever move forward to the next stage and accept your death.

Oh how cruel the world was. Taking away his lover and the plans for the future you guys had carefully planned.

You guys were walking on the street on the day it happened. Giggles filling the both of your bodies as a silver band of ring with a small diamond shined on your ring finger. He had just proposed to you, with promises of giving you everything he had to offer, of staying by your side until his last breath, to grow up even more and have little yous running around. Maybe you could get a dog and a cat and live in a beautiful home.

And then it happened.

He still remembers the way you shoved him to the side as a car came speeding towards you. Your yells still ringing in his ears from the past 3 weeks.

He remembers slowly walking to you trying to take in what just happened. In the corner of his eye he could see the once silver, shiny ring now covered in blood. Your blood. It was everywhere. He felt sick to his stomach. He cradled your face as he broke into sobs. "No no this can't be happening baby wake up" He called out for you as his sobs turned into a breakdown. He saw the light in your eyes slowly disappear. He saw the love of his life leave him, even though you were right there.

2 days later, it was your funeral. As everyone showed him sympathy and gave him hugs. He was still in denial. The first stage of grief. He couldn't even count the amount of times he heard "let me know if you need anything, Jungwon". He needed you back in his arms, but none of the people could give him that. There's no way you could have just left, right? What about the promises? The home? The dog and the cat? mini yous?

Few days later, he slowly slipped into the second stage of grief. Anger. He was mad at no one but himself. He should have been the one to die, not an angel like you. The car should have hit him. Not you. Or maybe he was mad at you too? why would you sacrifice yourself and leave him alone?

Then came in the third stage of grief. Bargain. He prayed and prayed that this would be a long painful nightmare. No way the world could have been so cruel on him. He was just 20 wanting to see life with you by his side, there's no way his fate was written like this.

After realising that this wasn't a dream, and you really were gone, entered the 4th stage of grief. Depression. He was an empty void as he laid on his bed all day leaving all his friends worried. He only got up to eat, which was very rare by the way. Leaving the texts his friends sent him on delivered, he read the last conversation you had with him. Where he mentioned the date and that he had a surprise for you and your excited text messages as a small smile crept on his lips. How he wished he never took you out.

Come back. He still needs you.

It was a new day as the sun shone through Jungwon's curtains. Today, was your one month anniversary, of you getting engaged and also since you left. Today was the worst of all days. It had been a month? no way. "i wish i could turn back time and change everything" he mumbled.

"Time" he jolted up as he remembered something you said about turning back time. Hope rushed through his eyes as he swiftly got out of his bad and rushed to take a shower and get ready. He could not believe he did not think of this sooner. Getting dressed, he rushed out of his home. Coming back taking the ring you once wore in his hands and heading to his car.

"I'm going to get you back, my love"

20 minutes later he reached your apartment. He did not have the courage to step into your apartment after your death. Opening the door he smelled your familiar scent for the first time in a month. Not wanting to waste time, he got in and rummaged through your belongings. "Where is it, god damn".

Finally spotting the shiny wooden box. He picked it up seeing a necklace with a tiny clock in it. Wearing it, he saw as it started to glow.

"How may I help you today?" a voice spoke out as he looked at a beautiful woman in front of him.

"Who must you be? you're not one of them" The voice continued referring to your blood line. "I'm Yang Jungwon, I lost my lover in a car accident, exactly a month ago from now"

"You wish to bring her back?" The voice questioned him. "Yes I need to please. She mentioned about this pendent to me a while back. You need to help me" He replied begging. "Jungwon, I'd suggest you move on. You'll lose yourself if anything goes downhill, and there are less number of chances of it going good and it going bad." The female figure said showing sympathy. "Please, miss. I don't have anything to lose anymore, she was my everything" He said breaking down into a sob.

Sighing, she touched the pendent on his colar. "What time do you want to go to?" she asked giving in. "Exactly a month ago" He said as the necklace started to glow again. "Goodluck, Jungwon" she said.

He was going to make sure you were alive. But at what cost?

In a blink of an eye, he was back. On the street, with you. "I honestly didn't expect you to do it today" Your voice said. Oh how he missed your voice, to see your face in front of him again and to hold his hand. He suddenly remembered why he was here as he became hyper-aware of his surroundings. He knew the car would be coming your way any second. Before he could think of changing your position, it was too late. The car was already coming towards you at an increasing pace. There was no way he could save the both of you.

So he did what he initially came back for.

He saved you.

Shoving your body to the side, he felt the car hit him as he lost consciousness. The last thing he saw was you standing and looking at him in utter shock. Atleast you were safe and alive.

"Jungwon? baby hey, wake up" you cradled his face and broke down into sobs, the same way he did, in another time line. You left a peck on his forehead as you left him there rushing to your apartment.

I'm not going to lose you Jungwon. Not like this.

You rummaged through your belongings, the same way he did. Wearing the pendent, you wished to go back 20 minutes from your present.

You were back with him, on the same street, holding his hand as you listened to him talk to you. You knew the time was near as you walked faster looking for a turn that could divert you form the path in which it was about to happen. Before you could find something, you heard the car's tire screech behind you. There was no way you could save the both of you.

So you did what you initially came for.

You saved him.

You shoved him to the side as the car came in contact with your body. The last thing you saw, was him. Atleast he was safe and alive.

He slowly walked to you trying to take in what just happened. In the corner of his eye he could see the once silver, shiny ring now covered in blood. Your blood. It was everywhere. He felt sick to his stomach. He cradled your face as he broke into sobs. "No no this can't be happening baby wake up" He called out for you as his sobs turned into a breakdown. He saw the light in your eyes slowly disappear. He saw the love of his life leave him, even though you were right there.

Fast forward to him wishing of going back to a month prior to save you. He managed to save you, but lost his life. Not being able to manage with the grief of him gone, you tried to save him. You managed to do so, but you lost yours in exchange. And this continued.

The woman was right afterall when she warned the two you.

Trying to save eachother, the both of you were stuck and lost yourselves in an endless time loop.

@leaderwon 2024. Do not copy, translate,alter or plagarize in any platform.

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xzaddyzanakinx · 2 months

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Not That Kind of Guy

Part One: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker x femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, one-sided relationship [eventual warning for smut; be sure to pay attention to future warnings in the series]

Info: Anakin loves you so much it hurts, he just really wants to make sure your silly little girl brain doesn’t get in the way of your safety, you have a cat, Anakin is a bartender [diary entries from Ani’s perspective] MDNI 18+

Diary Entry: May 2nd

The Cerulean was filled with loud music, flashing lights, and the stench of sweaty guys and spilt beer. Over-kill perfume on the girls who so desperately wanted my attention, writing their numbers on their drink coasters after finishing their stupid little cocktail. The occasional ‘break it up guys, c’mon’ yelled out at a pair of ‘roided up college boys. Peanut shells stuck to my sneakers at the end of the night, going home and washing off the stickiness from working behind the bar.

All things I was used to.

But you… not you. Every time I caught a glimpse of you tonight it was like the first time all over again.

Pink, skirt, sneakers, crop top. Such a cute little outfit; it made you easy to spot, easy to track, easy to watch over.

I have your drink order memorized. I so hoped you’d come back for another so I could hear your voice, to see your pretty little lips move just for me again. But you didn’t. Because you’re a smart girl. You knew that without a man around to look out for you, you’d be pretty hopeless if you got too tipsy. It only made me want to protect you more. You’re too soft, too sweet, too innocent to worry about the big nasty world around you.

That’s my job now.

I’ll always keep you safe, but I also want to keep you happy. You deserve the world and more, and I’ll give it to you.

I’d destroy the earth to build it up again in your design. I’d live for you, serve you, die for you, at any moment you might ask. Just say the word and I will. I promise I will.

Note: Motion sensors

Date:

May 23rd

Anakin walked a safe distance behind you, his hands in his hoodie pocket, his hood up and head down. It was dark out, the only light was from the street lamps.

Sometimes when he walked you home he just wanted to run up and grab you by the shoulders and shake you; ask you to please for once just pay attention to your surroundings.

You walked around with your headphones in, ignoring everything and everyone. Yeah it was a straight shot to your apartment from the bar. Only having to cross the road once during the mile long journey down the sidewalk. But a mile was a good stretch of space and there were plenty of people who passed you. A handful of creepy, unlit alleyways you could be dragged into.

You were practically asking for it.

He just had to remind himself that this was just another reason you were so lucky to have him. He’d watch over you, so you didn’t have to worry your pretty little head about nothin’.

Anakin stood by the corner store dumpster and watched as you trotted up the steps and tapped the door code into the keypad of your apartment building. After the door shut behind you and he saw the keypad flash red, he knew you were safely locked inside.

It took approximately one minute and 14 seconds for you to jog up the steps to your door, depending on how tired you were he could add a few seconds and not worry. But anything over 20 seconds had him sweating in a panic.

Tonight though you were right on time, his phone pinged with an alert that your door had been opened, and successfully shut behind you. Now he could breathe a sigh of relief and make his way back to work.

His boss was kind enough to never question why he skipped out for about 20 minutes a night or two a week. Anakin smoked, it wasn’t unlikely to assume he just got a little distracted scrolling on his phone during his smoke break or maybe just needed a few minutes of peace.

Now all he had to do was suffer through three more hours of monotonous work and try not get a head start on his hearing loss from the shitty music.

Then he could go home to you.

The cloak of stress he wore when you were out of sight vanished quickly when he perched on the fire escape and peered into your living room. Poor thing. You’d fallen asleep on the couch again.

Not that he minded. It made his night that much better when he could sit closer to you. It was a pain to climb the ladder of the building next door and sit on the rooftop so he could see into your bedroom window. Very inconvenient, but worth it everytime.

He sat quietly, observing you and the way your lips twitched while you slept, as though you were having a conversation with someone in your dreams. Probably him, he thought.

“Oh, your blanket… you’re gonna be cold if you keep squirming around like that, your blanket is gonna end up in the floor.”

His fingers itched to pry open the window and tuck you back in, but he didn’t. He promised himself he wouldn’t do that. No breaking and entering.

He decided it was time to head back to his own home after that, he couldn’t stay much longer without: a) falling asleep b) forcing his way into your apartment for the sake of keeping you warm.

So he trekked to the sidewalk, wiping off the rust stains on his palms from the old metal fire escape. Shoving his hands back into his hoodie pocket after blowing you a goodnight kiss.

Diary Entry: June 6th

You owe me big time young lady.

You left your door unlocked and your window cracked open. It is 3:00am, what if someone snuck in? Then what would I do?

Die probably. I’d probably die if something happened to you.

Therefore, I bit the bullet and helped you out. I’m lucky you’re a heavy sleeper and I’m not easy to startle or else we both would’ve had a big scare tonight.

I cracked open your window, slipped in quietly, lowered it behind me, locked it. Double checked it and then triple checked it just in case.

When I turned around- christ that fucking cat. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. Guard dog? Who needs a guard dog when you’ve got that monster running around?

A quick blur of orange and a loud *reeeareow* was the only warning before it- sorry, Boogie, climbed up my leg with her little pitchfork claws. I handled it well, you’d be proud. I picked her up by the scruff and gave her a light bop on the noggin’ just like you do when she’s in trouble; except I didn’t kiss it better afterwards, I think she would’ve eaten me if I tried that.

Any-who, I carried her with me to the kitchen and got her a little treat from the cutesy kitten jar on the countertop. Then she decided we could be friends or well… maybe or maybe not I don’t really know, I guess we’ll see.

I plucked your spare key from the top of the fridge and quietly left your apartment. I locked the door and checked it several times, just in case.

As I walked down the steps I saw that the super was kind enough to leave a reminder that the keypad code had been changed, how nice of him! You are awfully forgetful sometimes. No worries princess I took a picture for safe keeping.

I need to change the batteries on or door sensors soon anyway, those little button batteries don’t last very long you know.

It was only when I got home that I realized I still had your spare key… tsk tsk Anakin. Ah well, that just means it won’t fall into the hands of someone it shouldn’t. I’ll keep it safe.

I love you 🖤

Diary Entry: June 7th

You know, come to think of it. Now that I have a key I should get a few new items for your apartment, that way I can keep an eye on things for you while you’re away.

Note: Hd1080p microcam x4

There will be a bot to go along with this series! This is really short compared to my usual posts: I just wanted to give all my little lovelies a snippet of what’s to come.

Part Two

Tag-List:

@wickedtactics @tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwarssmut @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @anakinsbaee @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @styleslytherin @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @lunalitva @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141

Let me know if you wanna be added/removed

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agendabymooner · 7 months

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MASTERLIST: O-Z by agendabymooner

LINK TO MASTERLIST: A-N F1 DRIVERS by agendabymooner

LINK TO SOMETHING SINFUL (SMUT) MASTERLIST by agendabymooner (MINORS DNI)

note: part two of my masterlist!

legends/genre:

a = angst g = general fic hc = hurt/comfort h = humour

s = smut (minors, dni) mc = mature content (minors, dni) f = fluff

★ - newly added ♡ - favourite piece

esteban ocon (eo31)

the royal wildcard, smau: the british media's good at getting the juiciest details of gossip from the palace, but much to their dismay, princess albertine spencer followed the footsteps of her brother harry and had done an amazing job at hiding her marriage with a certain alpine driver for three months. (f, g, h)

the royal resemblance, smau: albertine ocon lived to give her estranged family something to talk about because of her physical appearance that could be confused with her mother's ghost. too bad, ditty ocon was born into the world with the same heart attack-inducing features.

ditty and estie greet the world, fic: diana 'ditty' ocon looked so much like her namesake but act more like her father with her shyness.

pato o'ward (po29)

caught 'em lacking, smau: diwa arellano is mclaren f1's social media admin. so what if her constant teasing of oscar bites her in the ass and accidentally posts something that could potentially compromise her job? meanwhile, lando and oscar laugh at her demise while pato finds it endearing.

sergio perez (sp11)

she's beauty, she's grace, smau: in which carmella ayala perez, the miss universe 2018 winner, tied the knot with checo after their five years of relationship and the birth of their second child.

oscar piastri (op81)

lomi and the piastri fiasco (filo!gen z!ofc)

jollibee, madrid and all that romantic fiasco, smau: paloma san pedro is carlos sainz's cousin-in-law who also introduced oscar to his newly found filipino fast food chain addiction. safe to say that he bought a ticket last minute just so he can obsess over her, too.

live tweets, japan and all that romance fiasco, smau: how oscar's podium win in the japanese gp led to the revelation of his relationship with carlos sainz's in-law, paloma. lesson learned: just call her "pal" then she'll spill the tea for the both of you easily (f, h)

lucky charms, qatar and all that romance fiasco, smau: oscar is quite a forgetful guy, he forgot to mention to carlos, his future in-law, that paloma was his sprint lucky charm. (f)

long distance, england and all that romance fiasco, smau: paloma moved to england a year after enduring a long distance relationship with oscar.

other pieces

12345sex, smau: oscar is secretly freaky and mercury nicoletta had to show him off at some point. ★

kimi raikkonen (kr7)

stop the world i wanna get off with you, smau: vera 'coppa' coppola-raikkonen is the only one who can make the iceman talk a lot. she's also the only one who can make the chatty versions of him as their three older children (romania, rooney and johann-lauri) make their presence known to the racing community. (f, g, h)

someone's dad, socmed snapshot: kimi being the coolest dad, a series. ★

daniel ricciardo (dr3)

rush series (x måneskin member!ofc)

honey (are u coming), smau: how lester alessandro got blocked by daniel ricciardo before meeting him in monza 2021. (h)

own my mind, fic: it took lester almost six italian grand prix races to come across daniel ricciardo once more. sure, she was hesitant to speak to him regardless of the fact that she was his fan but the mclaren driver was certain he’d rather cause a stir in the f1 community with her after his win in monza than celebrate his victory with a lot of people. OR the second close encounter between the two of the most unhinged people of f1. (g, h)

read your diary, smau: it's 2021 and everyone thinks that lester and daniel are dating. lesson learned: never underestimate a fan's investigation skills. (g)

mamma mia, smau: an interview with jimmy fallon gives a brief idea of how lester and daniel came to be. (g)

mamma mia (again), smau: a youtube playlist was created to compile clips of danny talking way too much about his beloved girlfriend (f)

gossip, smau: everyone thinks lester's only here to be a formula one girlfriend with a bad reputation. it's not her fault she's confident. (mc, hc, h)

kool kids, smau: lester and daniel are going to new york to see a musical... while babysitting their "kid" (feat. lando norris) (g, h)

timezone, fic: lester wasn't normally like this, but she's more than willing to pay twice the price just to get to the next flight to where he wanted her: his arms, her home. (hc)

if not for you, smau: messages exchanged between lester and others as she takes care of the wolff children and an ex with the poorest decisions to have existed. (feat. lando norris, max verstappen, charles leclerc and characters from a story) (f, g, h)

baby said, smau: many tweets are posted that they don't often mean. their fans thought that his marriage proposal was one of them. (f, g, h)

supermodel, smau: how not to cry when you're talking about the man who'd give you the wedding that you dreamed of? (f, g, h)

rush series: wedding special

london bridge, smau: the alessandro-ricciardo wedding week is nothing of a peaceful week, and the monday only proved that thought right. (feat. f1 drivers) (f, h) - wedding special 1

fergalicious, smau: the grid singles need to touch some grass… or in lando’s case, go swimming. (feat. f1 drivers) (h) - wedding special 2

l'azienda di famiglia (e le donnole dell'isola), smau + fic: the alessandro family arrived and lando and george found themselves alone with two of the sisters. (feat. lando norris and george russell) (f, g) - wedding special 3 ♡

rush series: mrs. ricciardo special

part of you, smau: mrs. lester ricciardo asks her followers what to get her husband for his 35th birthday. little did danny know, she’s already got one ready to surprise him (f, g)

when emma falls in love, smau: as her pregnancy progressed, lester ricciardo made sure that her sanity wouldn't go the other way as she posted a thread of journal entries talking about her pregnancy. (f, h)

slipping through my fingers, smau: beau ricciardo was his dad's carbon copy and his mom's little heartbreaker.

here comes the sun, smau: despite having a red bull driver dad, beau ricciardo - or "little par" - is converted to tifosi, thank god for his full-italian mother. OR lester ricciardo's one year old son and his chaotic dad attended a måneskin concert when the bassist returned to the stage after almost two years of absence. (f, h)

pocketful of sunshine, scenario: beau ricciardo turned one and what's a good way to show his personality besides from showing it in front of an irwin? ★

other pieces

leaked, smau: daniel ricciardo is a borderline blabbermouth. (filo!ofc)

when danny said, smau: daniel + sadie samuels = it feels just right. (country singer!ofc) ★

george russell (gr63)

his family and her lover, smau: eleanora 'nora' alessandro was more than happy for george's willingness to step up as her children's father regardless of how people poorly reacted on their relationship.

she's magic (youtuber!singer!ofc)

the multifaceted gf and her pets, smau: arabella 'ara' elgin is multitalented and her haters couldn't do much about it as she released a new song about her relationship with george.

carlos sainz jr. (cs55)

two worlds entangling (filipino!ofc)

ride home, smau: the ferrari driver accidentally outed himself as a married man, so mona magdalena sainz stepped in to say hi to his loyal fans. (f, g, h) (extra)

dear, smau: nobody loved each other more than magda and carlos sainz. OR a series of tweets in which magda and carlos never took each other seriously. (h)

pag-ibig, traducido (love, translated), fic: no matter what cultural context and backstories, magda and carlos' souls were entwined into one all thanks to the languages of love that they shared. OR times when the spanish and filipino defined their love in many languages. (f) ♡

logan sargeant (ls2)

he's her lobster, smau: eugenia 'genie' newton + logan sargeant = mondler (h)

mick schumacher (ms47)

big mick energy series (x filo!ofc)

she's everything... and he's just mick, smau: barbara 'barbie' blanco is the vettel family's foster child that gradually turned to kimi vettel's nanny and mick's crush? (f, g)

"besties", smau: everyone swore that mick and barbie are more than "babysitting pardners" (f)

who is kenough, smau: mick nearly took the piss from arthur leclerc after the posts that the monegasque had of barbie. too bad, mick was already hers before arthur could even try. (feat. arthur leclerc)

kenergy unfolded, fic: written version of who is kenough OR arthur leclerc was only scheming just so mick could do something about revealing his relationship with barbie. ♡

the vibing allan and the reluctant ken, smau: for mick, there are only two words to describe his girlfriend's best friend arthur: a headache. OR arthur leclerc is a third wheel that mick always get on a fight with. thankfully, barbie had fair experiences with boys who are petulant and childish at times (kimi and seb)

barbie and the schuminis

mick multiplied, socmed snapshot: girl dad!mick that's all

the little schuminis, fic: 4 times when mick showed his devotion + 1 time his devotion paid off

lance stroll (ls18)

gotta be you, smau: bora mckinnon made her presence known in the paddock one year after lance broke up with her. now, they're all over the media because of his presence in her three birthday celebrations. the question still stands: are they getting back together?

diors and diecasts, socmed snapshot: lance stroll is sassy but so was his carbon copy. OR according to him, his son was a victim of the only child apocalypse. he also said that while buying his son everything he could get his hands on. ★

yuki tsunoda (yt22)

line without a hook, smau: pia ellis misses her mystery bf that everyone thought to be her delusions. it turns out he's a formula one driver who definitely misses her too.

chaos family, socmed snapshot: yuki is a dad to the little mini yukis known as hana and shin.

max verstappen (mv1)

✿ to loathe and to love series - max verstappen x hearth sister!ofc (sylvie ford) ♡

to loathe and to love: extras (x ofc)

lost in japan, smau: just two lost souls (with a tour guide) travelling to japan to make up for the childhood they missed. (f)

the purple chronicle (x ferrari!ofc)

paint him red, smau: alfrieda 'dina' ferrari is the only woman who can mark him as a ferrari fan - and he was quite alright with that.

sebastian vettel (sv5)

sweet rich life series (x filo!socialite!ofc)

crazy rich wife, smau: everyone (some twitter account) wonders where the recently retired german driver had gone to after the 2022 season. thank god for bel vettel, his fans now know that he’s still alive and is being spoiled and pampered by his wife. (f, g)

sweet spoiled husband (+ son), smau: mick schumacher is a grown man that both bel and seb treat like their own child. (f, g)

sweet spoiled schatzi, smau: bel and seb introduce the newest addition to their little family, and mick seems to love kimi vettel as much as a godfather loves his godchild. (f)

sweet little similarities, smau: bel and everyone could tell that kimi vettel was becoming more like his father, sebastian's, carbon copy as days went on. (f, g, h)

sebastian and sons (and soufflés), fic: day in the life of a retired sebastian vettel, featuring his kids kimi and barbie (and a nervous mick). (f)

sweetest spoiled sons, smau: sebastian was a father to not only two- but THREE kids. OR stefan vettel is the newest addition in the vettel household after years of trying and it's safe to say that everyone welcomed this news with open arms. (f)

crazy rich and famous, smau: the vettel couple stepped up to address the scrutiny that their children faced OR sebastian activated his instagram account just so he could show his masterpiece: photographs that he took of his wife for their anniversary.

seb's best girl, scenarios (x daughter!ofc)

Summary: Sebastian Vettel understood the downfalls of infertility just by being there for his wife. What he didn’t know, however, was that his life would drastically change when their foster daughter, Barbie Blanco, was put into their care. OR, what made Sebastian the best father figure to a teenager who had nobody but herself.

one, enter barbie: fifteen-year-old barbie blanco thought that meeting new people was intimidating, and sebastian learned that making her comfortable in her new home was a responsibility he should uphold as her father figure.

two, meeting mick in malaysia: barbie was brought to her first race ever and had met her newest best friends there. it was obvious that she and mick schumacher would get stuck to the hips after their first meeting.

mark webber (mw2)

the problem with following orders, smau: lydia 'liddy' vettel was what everyone considered 'a revenge best served cold.' of course that was a joke, it wasn't entirely either of their fault they were too drawn at each other. (g, h) ♡

toto wolff

✿ colour me your colour series masterlist - toto wolff x hearth sister!ofc (tilly marie hearth) series

colour me your colour: extras (x ofc)

the paddock's resident it girl, smau: besides from owning three of mercedes' competitors in the track and being the mercedes team principal's wife, she's also known as the cool girl of the paddock for her taste in fashion and husband. (f)

the paddock's lucky husband, smau: with him being spoon-fed with love from his children and wife, toto really couldn't ask for more. OR tilly wolff liked to talk about fashion but her family? she might as well write a whole book about them. (f)

the paddock's resident menace and the dame, smau: tilly wolff was presented with a damehood and her daughter tia, the girl who tends to act on her mischievous way (all thanks to toto), celebrated her 7th birthday during the silverstone gp week. fans recall her best moments in sky sports and media overall.

the paddock's iconic team owners, smau: toto and tilly wolff are considered the king and the queen of formula one for a good reason.

the arrow and the bull speared through the hearth, fic: tia wolff learned a lot from her papa and uncle christian, and tilly had to teach them a lesson too. (h)

the paddock's drive to survive, smau: in which, toto's wife tilly became a part of the season six of the netflix series 'drive to survive'. OR everyone believed her to be a part of big controversies in the formula one season of 2023. ★

#tbt, socmed snapshot: too many throwbacks, so little time. ★

many sommers with you (x supermodel!ofc)

twentieth sommer of love, smau: toto wolff celebrated his 20 years of marriage with his childhood friend/wife and their four kids. OR everyone wondered why irish sommer was referred to as 'the bitch of the runway.'

f1 drivers (general / multiple pairing)

✿ 9 to 5 series masterlist - f1 grid x ofc (lester alessandro) ft. fictional wolff kids

too much caring, smau, sv5 + jb22: kpop idol juno was assumed to have cheated on retired driver jenson button with his best mate sebastian vettel. oh how wrong those people were... ★

#formula one fic #formula one imagine #formula one smau #f1 smau #f1 imagine #formula one fanfiction #formula one au #formula one masterlist #formula 1 masterlist #f1 masterlist #f1 series #formula one series

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drnikolatesla · 4 months

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The Anniversary of Nikola Tesla's Death

January 7th marks the anniversary of Nikola Tesla's death, who passed away on this date 81 years ago in 1943. He died in poverty, but his achievements, along with his hope and dreams for the future, place him among the greatest scientific icons in human history.

January 7th in the Orthodox Christian Christmas calendar also marks the date when the birth of Jesus Christ is celebrated. It aligns with the Julian calendar, and for Orthodox Christians, this date is significant as the day to commemorate the nativity of Jesus, similar to December 25th in the Gregorian calendar used by Western Christianity. The choice of the date is rooted in historical and calendar differences between the Eastern and Western Christian traditions.

Coincidentally, this date also marks Nikola Tesla's last diary entry in his "Colorado Springs Notes." Apart from the usual description of photographs, Tesla writes about experiments he intends to carry out on his return from Colorado Springs. He qualifies the experiments to date as satisfactory, considering that his aim in Colorado was "to perfect the apparatus and make general observations." The apparatus, which he was then envisaging for future experiments, was to be an improved oscillator which would enable better results than any he had so far obtained. This improved oscillator would become his Magnifying Transmitter. It was meant to transmit signals via telephony, and most importantly power to any part on the globe, regardless of distance, providing the world with cheap and clean energy.

On January 7th, 1905, Nikola tesla would also publish an article titled, “The Transmission of Electrical Energy Without Wires As a Means for Furthering Peace.“ The article discusses Tesla's idea of transmitting electrical energy wirelessly as a means to advance global peace. Tesla believed that this technology could enhance accessibility to resources, fostering cooperation and harmony among nations. His vision was centered on using scientific advancements for the betterment of humanity and international relations.

Even though it has been 81 years since his death, the legacy of Nikola Tesla continues to live on in his achievements which are almost beyond calculation, and are a major integral part of the entire world as we know it. Today, we honor this great genius. We celebrate his extraordinary life, his triumph which is our triumph, a victory to everyone on earth. We celebrate his many contributions to our livelihood, and his visions of the future that we have yet to realize.

“Let the future tell the truth and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine.”

–Nikola Tesla

#nikola tesla #science #history #anniversary #death #january 7 #electricity #wireless #energy #power #technology #Christ #Christmas #ahead of his time #ahead of our time #quotes

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starsandhughes · 5 months

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Penalty Box Series— Gender Reveal Edition

23-24 Season Masterlist

surprise! i lied!

soooo turns out, i’m impatient! this is NOT a post in real time, meaning all penalty box posts as of now will be as if she's still having twins and doesn't know the gender!

JANURARY 12, 2024

yourusername

liked by _quinnhughes, trevorzegras, and 28,611 others

yourusername i'm elated to announce that during my eighteen weeks sonogram, a third future little chaos creator was discovered🤍

the best mom in the world came with us to find out the genders for our gender reveal party (planned by yours truly with mom and taryn <3), and trevor and i cried tears of absolute joy when we found out that we'll be having all girls!

trevor and i put a lot of thought into the names for our girls. since trevor's got some greek in him, we thought it would be cute to pick out names with greek origins!

"pheobe" means bright, radiant, and she was a titaness as the goddess of intellect

"katerina" is a derivative of the greek word katharós, which means pure (plus, she's a character in the vampire diaries, and the originals' saying is that family is "always and forever")

and "evangeline," even though it's also from english origin, still has greek roots. it's a combination of the words evangelos, which means good news, and elen, which means shining. the news that we'll be having a third girl is so good, so we feel that it fits perfectly<3

thank you to everyone that flew in for the day! it means the absolute world to trevor and i and i'm so beyond lucky to have each and every one of you🩷

quinn, jack, and luke, you three are going to be the most amazing uncles. our girls will never know a world without love; not like i did. you three gave me love. you showed me what it was like to have a family, to have friends. i know we fight and argue and tease each other relentlessly, jack and i a little more than the rest of us do with each other, but we're still each other's best friends. we'd do anything for each other and have proven that time and time again. if my girls are even a fraction as close as we are, they'll be the luckiest girls in the world.

griffin and ava, i know we aren't as close as i'd love to be, but seeing you two today for the first time since we told you both the news made my heart so warm. you're both going to be such great influences for the girls and i hope that their eyes light up when i tell them that uncle griffin and aunt ava are coming to see them!

cole, alex, and jamie, trevor and i put a lot of thought into choosing you three as godfathers and i know we made the best decision possible with you guys. you've all become some of the most important people in our lives, both individually and as a couple. i hope that the girls grow up to have their own cole's and alex's and jamie's, because i know i'm a better person with all of you by my side. i love you three!

i could go on and on and make individual messages for everyone, and i won't, but my own twin needs a little extra love. jack, we might not be twins by blood, but we are by our souls. we were meant to meet each other and to live on the same street as kids. we were meant to grow up together and figure out who we are as people with each other by our sides. no one knows me like you do. not trevor, not quinn, no one. i hope the girls have that. i hope the girls can read each other's minds with just one look, i hope they have secrets that will die with them, i hope they fight for each other even more than they fight with each other (and know that they do it out of love). most of all, i hope that they earn the nickname "triplets of terror," even though no one does that better than us. i love you insanely🫶

i love you all! thank you for coming, thank you for showing me love, thank you for being there for me, and thank you in advance for adoring our triplets! trevor, i cannot wait to take on this next chapter of our lives with you. i love you, always🤍

tagged trevorzegras

view all 436 comments

trevorzegras you're my whole world, my sweet girl, but our world is about to get a lot bigger so you're going to have go make room! i love you, forever❤️

yourusername i love you so much it makes me sick, my gorgeous, magic, mesmerizing sweet boy<3

trevorzegras that might also be the "morning" sickness

yourusername pissy it's still going on😭

trevorzegras it'll all be worth it when our little lights of chaos escape out of you

jackhughes @/trevorzegras you're my little light of chaos

yourusername @/jackhughes i’m having his babies can you please not flirt with my man?

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername you're MY little light of chaos

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale oh?🤭

trevorzegras @/jackhughes this is your fault

jackhughes @/trevorzegras it usually is

user49 SCREAMING AND CRYING IN THE CLUB OMFG😭

jackhughes sissy, you've outdone yourself with this caption and i'm totally not emotional right now. i really do hope these girls show all the good parts of us twins of terror❤️ i love you crazily!

yourusername i *am* emotional right now and i’m not scared to admit it because you're my soulmate and i want my girls to not be afraid to express their love <3

jackhughes was i guilt tripped and complimented in one long sentence?

yourusername and ridiculed a lil bit!

jackhughes please don't teach the triplets how to bully me

yourusername no, that's my job, jacky boy! they can bully quinn

jackhughes i’ll teach them to bully luke and you can teach them to bully quinn?

yourusername you've got yourself a deal, soulmate

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 the twins of terror are plotting again

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes that never goes well for any of us

colecaufield @/yourusername can't you only teach them how to be nice? and giving? and all the best parts of you?

yourusername @/colecaufield awww, you sap! no <3

trevorzegras @/colecaufield she's mostly kidding

colecaufield @/trevorzegras the girls will be your spawns wether you teach them how to crazy or not

lhughes_06 @/colecaufield not if we kidnap them

_alexturcotte @/lhughes_06 i'm in

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername don't do this to us

yourusername everyone needs to CALM DOWN !!!! you all know the zegras-hughes triplets will be the kindest girls! if one is silly goosy, and another is shy, and the third is a brave wild child out to get us, they all will still have hearts of gold

trevorzegras @/yourusername yes they will, my love❤️

user6 i'm crying so hard right now oh my god😭

user77 NOW NO ONE IS LEFT OUT FOR BEING A GODFATHER😭

griffinzegras i love you, too, y/n! i can't wait to meet my future nieces

yourusername i hope you're their favorite uncle <3

griffinzegras that's the biggest compliment i’ve ever received

trevorzegras @/yourusername you really said "fuck my brothers"

yourusername @/trevorzegras they're my favorites so griffin needs more love to balance it

griffinzegras @/trevorzegras was i attacked and also complimented?

trevorzegras @/griffinzegras she's really good at that

_quinnhughes @/griffinzegras she somehow attacked and complimented all four of us at once

jackhughes @_quinnhughes which is really impressive i’m not gonna lie

lhughes_06 i don't enjoy this

yourusername @/griffinzegras @/jackhughes @_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 MWAH!

user86 oh this was so sweet i'm gonna throw up

anaheimducks congratulations on your three new ducks family members!

yourusername thank you, bestie admin!🧡

_quinnhughes you're going to be the most amazing mom, sissy, and i am so proud of you! i can't wait to love and spoil these girls! they're going to look so cute in canucks jerseys! i love you way past beyond❤️

yourusername i love you way past infinity❤️ i better get started on their uncle quinn jerseys!

_eliaspettersson @/yourusername and uncle petey jerseys!

bboeser @/yourusername and uncle brock jerseys!

colemcward @/yourusername i don't know what i'll be but they need my jersey, too

yourusername @_eliaspettersson @/bboeser yes, yes, they'll get your jerseys, too!

yourusername @/colemcward uncle cole jerseys!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername that's too many. i'm the most important.

yourusername @_quinnhughes be grateful that they'll have your jersey at all

_quinnhughes @/yourusername please let them love me

yourusername @_quinnhughes i’ll think about it

user16 i’m obsessed with these names🥹

user48 half the league is having babies and sissy said "hold my beer"

colecaufield i'm so honored to not only be your best friend number two, but now godfather to one of your future little crazies! you just keep making my life better, sissy❤️ i love you!

yourusername i love you, coley woley❤️ you deserve the world so i'm happy to share part of mine

colecaufield you're gonna make me sob in the club

yourusername do it, no balls

colecaufield i’m no longer emotional

yourusername then you no longer have balls

trevorzegras @/yourusername what did you do with them?

yourusername @/trevorzegras i gave them to aphrodite as an offering

colecaufield @/yourusername you're having triplets! i don't think the goddess of fertility needs more offerings from you

_quinnhughes i have no words

_alexturcotte @/yourusername give him his balls back

yourusername @_alexturcotte fine! bossy...

colecaufield @_alexturcotte thank you, king🙏

slknight35 congratulations, you two! i'm so happy i got to come and experience all the love today! i love you so much, sissy❤️ you're going to be the best mom in the world

yourusername i love you endlessly, spency! you being here means everything to me, thank you so much <3

trevorzegras thank you, knighty! it was great seeing you

slknight35 @/trevorzegras you're so obsessed with me

trevorzegras @/slknight35 damn right ;)

yourusername @/trevorzegras somebody gets around

trevorzegras @/yourusername i’ve got a lot of love to share

user43 the zegras-hughes triplets are going to have so many uncles omg😭

lhughes_06 you're the best big sister i could ever ask for, sissy! if you're anything with these girls like you were with me when we were kids, then they're gonna be the most loved daughters this world has ever seen. i love you, sissy❤️

yourusername i'm so lucky to be your big sister, lukey moosey! i love you so much❤️ i no longer want to sell you on the black market because this was so sweet, you sap!

lhughes_06 thank you?

yourusername you're welcome!

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 i'll still sell you

jackhughes @_quinnhughes i already have some offers

lhughes_06 sissy! save me!

yourusername @/lhughes_06 you're on your own, kid

colecaufield you always have been

lhughes_06 damn

jamie.drysdale you two have been there for me in more ways than one and now i get to be a godfather for one of your daughters! that means more to me than anything else, i love you both!

trevorzegras you deserve it, jimbo! i love you, too

yourusername you've been by my side since day one, jamie baby, and i am so happy that you exist! i love you more than life❤️ you deserve this!

jamie.drysdale saps

yourusername always!

trevorzegras it's the theme of the day, apparently

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras jack and sissy are planning to teach your daughters how to bully us

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes you can't win them all

user96 AHHHHHHHHHH

avazegras i love you, too, y/n! i can't wait to spoil these girls! being the only legal aunt is going to be my biggest accomplishment🩷

yourusername can't wait for girls days! i'm so happy they're going to have you as a role model<3

trevorzegras they'll be obsessed with you, aves!

avazegras @/trevorzegras i know

yourusername we love a confident woman!

user63 i'm crying my eyes out oh my god

dylanduke25 CONGRATULATIONS, SISSY! these babies are going to be the most loved babies in the entire world!! i love you!

yourusername i love you more, duker! these girls will be surrounded by love and i'm so happy that you'll be apart of their lives

edwards.73 mom's so close to being a mom!! i love you, mom!!

yourusername @/edwards.73 i love you, too, son!

trevorzegras @/edwards.73 you're only a few months away from being further down the favorite child latter

edwards.73 @/trevorzegras why would you say this to me?

lhughes_06 @/trevorzegras RUDE

colemcward i hate it here

_alexturcotte i love you, too, girly hughes! i still can't believe you two are going to be parents! it feels like yesterday we were all plotting to get you two to realize your feelings for each other. i can't wait to become a godfather❤️

yourusername you've always been our biggest fan, lexi❤️ you're going to be the most perfect godfather!

trevorzegras oh you and your plots

_alexturcotte @/trevorzegras well they worked, didn't they?

jackhughes we made some good plots

slknight35 they were hard to do

colecaufield it took way too long to get these two together

_alexturcotte it was agonizing

yourusername @/jackhughes @/slknight35 @_alexturcotte @/colecaufield just don't take credit for us having babies. that was all us.

jackhughes @/yourusername that's disgusting

colecaufield @/yourusername that's what you think

yourusername @/colecaufield perv

user89 EVANGELINE LIKE THE PRINCESS AND THE FRONG SONG OMG😭

matthew_tkachuk my little mouse is so close to becoming a mama mouse! i'm so proud of you, sissy, you're going to be the most magnificent mom❤️ i love you!

yourusername the tears have returned! i love you so much, my rat❤️ these girls are gonna love their uncle matty! (matthew? chucky?)

matthew_tkachuk whatever they say first😂

taryntkachuk @/yourusername one of each

_quinnhughes uncle rat! uncle rat! uncle rat!

yourusername @_quinnhughes no! that's for me!

yourusername @/taryntkachuk genius

matthew_tkachuk @/yourusername don't confuse them! let's go with uncle matty

yourusername @/matthew_tkachuk mmmmm okay i think i can make that happen

user91 THIS IS THE BEST NEWS AHHHH

leocarlssoon congratulations, mom and dad! i can't wait to meet them! i love you!

yourusername i love you, too, my favorite son❤️ don't worry, they'll be getting your jersey, too!

trevorzegras thank you, son! i love you, too

masonmctavish23 @/yourusername your baby closet is going to be 90% jerseys

yourusername @/masonmctavish23 yeah, i'm thinking about not getting them yours to have more room

masonmctavish23 @/yourusername i did not hold back your hair while you threw up multiple times to be treated like this

leocarlssoon @/masonmctavish23 from morning sickness?

masonmctavish23 @/leocarlssoon that, her being too drunk, her just being sick. i don't know why it's always me but it is

jamie.drysdale @/masonmctavish23 she's allergic to you

masonmctavish23 @/jamie.drysdale she bites me so that can't be it

yourusername @/masonmctavish23 alright, alright, successful guilt trip! uncle mason jerseys for them!

trevorzegras is just need to address my love one last time on this post! y/n, i can't wait to marry you, and having our girls there is going to make our wedding even more magical. we've got this. we're going to give our girls the best life. you're my stanley cup, but you making me a dad makes me feel like i'm king of the world❤️ i love you, forever, my sweet girl!

yourusername i love you, always, trevor❤️ we've got this!

---

thank you to everyone that's been here since the beginning, and thank you to everyone that has joined in on this little universe later on for being apart of my little universe <3 i wouldn't be here without any of you loving sissy and supporting me! this, is for y'all🤍 tell me what you think! rb's appreciated <3

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florenceafternoon · 5 months

Text

━。゜✿ jily fic recommendations ✿ ゜。━

This post is just some of my current favourites because I don’t think I have the energy to make a master list right now. Personally, I like to read aus so if you're looking for canon stuff this isn't the post for you.

For reference, anything in italics is taken from the summaries on ao3.

in pursuit of the study of magic by @thequibblah

An immortal magician au or, "we had a really bad breakup three hundred years ago, but neither of us realised the other is immortal until we met today"

I recommend you listen to About You while reading this

Growing (in love) by casablancas21 (on ao3)

Uni au where "James Potter has a lot going on for him. His uni years have been the best he's ever had and his friendliness, popularity and charm go a long way to place him as the go-to bloke if one's looking for a good time. Nevertheless, his final year of school finds him struggling to keep up with the social energy that once enthralled him. He's having a hard time figuring out how to set his own boundaries and what to do about his future. He's also having a really hard time figuring out Lily Evans."

I must admit that Lily's comebacks are so good I've used some during class debates in sociology this year. Truly, the dialogue and dynamics between characters in this fic are so good. Pretty sure this is the one with the kebab

Golden Waltz by evanspotter (on ao3)

Lily Evans wants to be the best ice dancer in the world, which means she needs to find a dance partner ASAP. After two failed partnerships, her coach gives her one last option: James Potter.

This fic is the reason I neglected revising for midterms. It also caused me to go into a deep dive into watching tapes of Olympic ice dance programs specifically Virtue and Moir.

on the way home by keep_driving (on ao3)

Lily was living abroad and pinning from afar. After an abundance of "phone calls, mixtapes, and long waits," Lily is finally coming home. I believe this fic is inspired by the song You Are In Love.

When I say jily is friends first, and lovers second this is what I mean

Dancing With Our Hands Tied by @athenasparrow

But despite his best efforts, he couldn’t take his eyes off her figure as she moved effortlessly in rhythm with whatever song she had playing. He learned she was wearing more than a t-shirt when she slid across the kitchen on her socks, throwing her head back to sing words James wished he could hear.

OR: In a world where social distancing reigns supreme, two strangers find themselves confined to their apartments with love only a window away.

The way I binged this fic at school between classes. love love love

The Season by @missgryffin

This is a regency (Brighton) au where "James Potter, Duke of Peverell, has returned to London just in time for the season, where Miss Lily Evans is about to make her debut. Only, he’s not looking for a wife, and she’s not particularly interested in a husband."

I love the dialogue between Lily & James as well as Sirius & Lily's relationship (for those who know Brigerton, it reminds me of Ben and El's relationship).

A Misstep Of Fate by hogwartslivy (on ao3)

A muggle historical au where "he waited for her on the edge of ballrooms and in the shadows of parties. He waited to dance with her, to spin her in his arms, to be the one she laughed and smiled with. He thought he was doing the right thing, allowing time to pass them until they were ready, so he had waited. But it seems, he made a misstep. He's waited too long now she's slipping through his fingers."

My boy is stupid and in love but it's okay because she is too. Their idiots, but they’re my idiots

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

A Princess Diaries au in which "with only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter."

chaos ensues and Emma deserves long service leave (the place would fall apart)

foreigner's god by clarewithnoi (on ao3)

answer to a Tumblr prompt: "we were lovers in a past life" but the current incarnations are enemies-to-lovers, and they don't remember anything from their past selves.

The back and forth between them is so good. low-key I teared up a bit but it has a HEA

An October of Unconventional Courtships by @ghostofbambifanfiction

Two phones. Thirty-one days. Eighteen tuxedos. A Jilytober texting fic.

A classic that everyone should read

Shelf Awareness also by @/ghostofbambifanfiction

Modern bookstore au where "It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there."

One of the first ever jily fics that I read and I fell in love with their dynamic straight away

Careless Texter also by @/ghostofbambifanfiction

Answer to the prompt, “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are,” with some twists and differences.

Trackside by @hogwartslivy

James Potter is Formula One’s most impressive young talent, making up one half of the championship winning team at Gryffindor Racing. He’s got a reputation for playing dirty on, and seemingly off, the track but when an article quoting a particularly vulgar comment made by him at last years final Grand Prix is released, it seems he may have pushed it too far. Potter faces two options; fix his public image or give up his seat.

When my two obsessions meet

it's (always) you by @kay-elle-cee

A multiverse of 31 meet-cutes for Jilytober 2023.

Honorable mentions to chapter 3 for high!Lily and chapter 7 for fulling my love for jily regency aus

Key Limes by cgner (on ao3)

Fame au "in which Academy Award winner Lily Evans discovers the periphery of internet fandom and the mysteries of Prince James’s gold star system."

Because James is actually just a giant build a bear and lily is an icon as always.

See You At the Next Stop by kayrma (on ao3)

Lily Evans meets a posh-looking bloke with messy hair on the way back to London, and for once in her life she actually enjoys a train ride. Maybe having a spontaneous seat partner isn't that bad after all.

Shoutout to the notes on this fic because whoever wrote it is a mood

Nom De Plume by @annabtg

James Potter, renowned potioneer, has a secret side career as an erotica writer under the pen name of Scarlett Goldwing. When his latest book starts to take off, and Scarlett is asked to promote it at a public event, he has no other option but to recruit his colleague Lily Evans to pretend to be Scarlett. The only problem is, Lily Evans hates his guts… or does she?

(Rated E for later chapters)

Like did you read that summery because personally I was waiting for the author to complete the story so I could binge it

victorem (requires an ao3 account ) by gryffindormischief (on ao3)

(Olympic) Ice dancing au. "When God closes a door, sometimes you have to jump out a window."

Lily and James (and Sirius) aka the dynamic duo

Phone Service by @confuded-gryffindor

Moddern muggel au "in which James and Lily meet twice, both through their phones."

some with arrows, some with traps by @isahorcrux

Fame au. "Then: James Potter was a beloved child star and the lead of a popular YA franchise. Lily Evans was just getting her big break as his romantic lead in the third installment. While their chemistry got rave reviews, if the rumors are to be believed the two actors can barely stand to be in the same room together.

Now: Lily’s paid her dues and ten years later she’s the most in-demand actress in Hollywood. And James...after back-to-back flops at the box office, he’s just looking for a break and a chance to prove he is the amazing actor everyone thought he was going to be."

Much Ado About Nothing, but make it Jily

The group chat is the level of chaos me and my friends extrude every free line we spend together

Charred Pineaple Margarita's and a Bagel by @chiechie97

The guy at the coffee shop was hot. Hot and he knew her order. But that didn’t mean ANYTHING. Especially when he seemed to know everyone’s order. And besides, Lily is far too busy to be thinking about the hot guy that always has her breakfast waiting for her. Right?

Lily and Remus are me

and i know you too well to say you're perfect by @ofmermaidsandmarauders

“Yeah, you were a pretty big moron.” “Hey, I said idiot!”

Lily's not really sure when James Potter, soccer extraordinaire, took over her life with Harry.

What the summery said

The next few fics are all by @wearingaberetinparis or ritaskeetered (on ao3) who is the reason I joined the jily fandom. Single handedly enabled my obsession and I've never been more thankfull.

The Very Regency (Un)Ladylike Guide To Fortune-Hunting

Regency au. "Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want." (Jane Austen)

Lily Evans finds herself wanting, or: so her sister seems to believe. While out on the hunt for a fortune - again: that would be Mrs Dursley mostly - the affection of a number of suitors is most welcome. Especially when a young Viscount's heart is set aflame.

Screaming, crying, punch me in the face (Lily's version)

Jump (For My Love)

Royalty au "When you are the Prince of England, the last thing one might expect is to be jumped from behind by the most beautiful woman one has ever seen, who - in turn - seems to have no clue at all and mistakes one for someone else. Surely, Prince James has the right to be disproportionately upset about this. The question is; does he need to?"

Baby, It's Cold Outside

Olympic au. James, being half Greek, had always dreamed of one day going to the Olympics. Now, at his second Winter Olympics – having won a surprising bronze medal at his first one – James has been dubbed Team GB’s hero before the games have even started.

Lily, being the daughter of a waste collector, had always dreamed of one day making her parents proud by exceeding their expectations. Now, she finds herself on a plane to China together with her boss, Minerva McGonagall, and a crowd of winter athletes representing Team GB at the Winter Olympics of 2022.

The paths of James Potter – overenthusiastic snowboarding hero – and Lily Evans – passionate overachiever – cross at the 2022 Winter Olympics when James Potter is asked to be Team GB’s flagbearer at the Opening Ceremony (and quite a few times after that as well).

The repetition of "James, being half Greek..." worked so well for the flow. I don't know how to describe it

A Game Of Thrones

Modern royalty au. Lily Evans had never imagined she would meet Prince James, but when she does at St Andrews' annual Christmas Pub Crawl, her whole world is turned upside down. For who thought that a girl like her - with a sister that reads "Hello" magazine like it's the Bible - would end up with a prince like him?

Euphemia Potter you will always be famous

flowers

A musician au that hilights sexisim in the music industry. "Singer-songwriter Lily Evans has played gig after gig, has been the opening act to many a headliner, but her big break seems a million miles away. When one night – after playing in her friend Marlene McKinnon’s bar – she receives messily scrawled lyrics on a napkin by a certain Monty Python, her life and career are turned upside down, leading her all the way to the Grammy's."

Lily my love, you deserve everything you've worked for

If You Knew Who Was Talking

hopelessly_devoted and genuinely-conflicted form each other’s support system online, cheering one another on as they battle their way through an unrequited (and most definitely unwanted) crush on the person their parents are trying to set them up with.

In the real world, James Potter and Lily Evans find themselves hopelessly devoted and genuinely conflicted when battling their persistent infatuation with the last person they would have ever liked to fall for, stubbornly fighting their family’s and friends’ convictions that they were born to be together.

If only they knew who was talking.

FOOLS the both of them.

glitter in the sky, i’m spinning out waiting for ya

For her thirtieth birthday, Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald gift Lily Evans the thrill of a lifetime: a tandem skydive. What no one expected? For Lily to end up in the hospital as a result with her ankle covered in soul marks.

everybody is a sexy baby, and i'm a monster on a hill

Ficwriter au. "James Potter and Lily Evans are fandom famous. Both are prolific and popular writers within the Marauders fandom, but they have completely ignored the other's existence for two years after a Tumblr misunderstanding. Now, they are paired up for the Valentine's Marauders Challenge and - forced to interact - they find out that they may be more compatible than they ever could have imagined."

Is this not the dream?

fastening myself to you with a stitch

Fame au. "Anyone who has never heard the names Lily Evans and James Potter before must be a boomer. The two actors have dominated the box office with their films in the past nine years, more often than not starring opposite one another. Whether tasked to portray mutual pining, passionate hatred or fiery love, Potter and Evans make the screen positively buzz with the taste of opportunity."

it's all happening without me

Normal People (Sally Roony) au. "At school, James and Lily pretend not to know each other. James is wealthy, popular and the star of his school’s football team, while Lily wears second-hand school uniforms, is the school pariah and resented for her smarts. At James’ house, however – meeting there due to Lily’s mother’s housekeeping job – they form an intense connection they desperately try to conceal to the outside world.

A year later, James and Lily both attend Hogwarts University where James has found his feet and made friends he had longed for his entire life, while Lily remains uncertain and haunted by her problematic past.

Throughout their years at university, James and Lily circle each other, trying to resist the magnetic pull between them, whilst coming to the realisation that the both of them may be more religious than they ever thought they were."

Mother knows best. Mary, never question your writing skills because this fic proved that you are a phenomenal writer. The emotions you evoked coverered the entire range of human emotions

It's Coming Down, It's Coming Down Series -

Weird, But Fuckin' Beautiful

When Lily Evans is invited to spend Christmas with the Potters, she finds that she can simply not refuse. It’s an offer she cannot resist for several reasons, the most important one being that she would much rather spend the holidays with Fleamont and Euphemia than she would with Vernon and Petunia.

So what if she had conveniently forgotten (or has she?) about the fact that the Potters have a son - a Formula 1 driver at that - who she can’t seem to get off her mind? (Mightily annoying that, seeing as he has made clear exactly how he feels about her and it’s not exactly giving her any hope.) It’s not as if she can’t control herself.

Or so she very dearly hopes…

Tonight Feels Impossible

But after a night spent together in a hotel's honeymoon suite, she doubts she ever will and fears it might be her downfall.

To All The Kudos I've Left Before

Ficwriter au set in university. "Fanfiction is the guiltiest of pleasures that Lily - twenty years old and studying at Hogwarts University - freely and happily indulges in. She reads fanfiction whenever she has a moment to herself and goes crazy whenever her favourite author - Artemis - updates or uploads another one of his works to Archive Of Our Own. Leaving them comments and the ensuing banter between them back and forth - however fleeting - makes her heart race and preoccupies a fair amount of her thoughts, which - in turn - angers her best friend.

James Potter has never had to suffer from an inferiority complex. His parents and friends are supportive of his every endeavour and this includes his habit to write fanfiction and put his written work out there in the void for his readers to enjoy. His readers are highly supportive too - Lilium being his absolute favourite - that is, until he starts to receive the vilest of comments from a number of guest accounts and starts to question his entire online existence.

What Artemis and Lilium don’t know? That they might know each other a little better than either of them ever bargained for."

The title says it all ❤ ❤❤

#jily fic rec #jily #lily evans #james potter #jple

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inkskinned · 2 years

Text

he tells me i'm jaded. he says - you love showers so much, why not stand in a rainstorm instead?

rainstorms have a potential to take down tree branches. they're unregulated. they get my clothes wet. in the time of my grandparents, maybe it would be more romantic. it's a drought where i live. the rain that comes down is sullen, yellow with pollution. i bite half my nails off reading about climate predictions. i stand in the shower and shift from one foot to the other, feeling annoyed with myself because i care about all of this, of course, but as a climate scientist i'm functionally useless.

he says - the color is all gone from the world! people used to like bright things. what happened to all of us?

i feel like rich people love minimalism differently. they like to remind others - i don't really need things. they can afford to have-less. they don't need to worry about buying extra; they can just get it later.

my car is silver so in 5 years after paying back the loan i might be able to sell it, if i don't hurt it too bad and if i don't drive it too hard, and if luck is in my corner. it's just a simple sedan, nothing-special. i guess i'm technically borrowing it from the bank. i can't really-decorate my apartment; i don't own it. i am not going to be able to afford a house any time soon. i would love to make my walls a wash of bright color - but i'd lose my deposit.

my clothes are all in neutrals; classic cuts that have very little fuss or personality attached to them. i worry about fast fashion and my finances; i want to be sure that i can wear the shirt in the future without feeling stupid and out-of-touch. the other day i finally tore through a pair of shorts i've had for about ten years now. i went home and tried to figure out how to repurpose the denim. how to make everything last a little longer. i sometimes will try on something trendy and cool and colorful - and then i pick out something i know will last me a long time instead. muted, conservative, unimpressive.

he says - the real world is waiting! everyone is so obsessed with their phones these days. go outside, connect with your friends!

it costs twenty dollars to go on the guided tour. they don't let you into the conservatory without a 320 dollar yearly membership. i come up with a spreadsheet, trying to figure out where my friends have schedule openings that overlap with mine. we both frown over our calendars - can't do thursday that week, anything in two weeks? there's no train, it costs forty dollars in transportation for her to come over; but i miss her, so i venmo her. we both bemoan the fact that there's just no way to get around without a car.

i am actually a full-blooded romantic. i am actually someone who truly and deeply believes in hope and the future of humanity. i am a poet, after all - i write because i believe someone out there, like me, is watching the world crumble while nursing a broken heart. i believe that most of us want to be kind, to be good, to turn our cheeks to the sky and be contented and warm.

it just feels like - there's this strange, brewing storm. where people with money and power and prestige get to say - hope is a yacht, just hop on and go.

and all us jaded, horrible little still-here tear-stained cockroaches, who croak and complain about global injustice: we don't accept it. we make our lives beautiful with whatever we can wrestle out of stone. we clutch our diaries and our sunflowers and our songs to our chest. ugly and hurting, we snarl - hope isn't yours though. it's ours.

it's all we have left.

#does this make even a lick of sense.#this is like .#optimistic pessimism idek #warm up

2K notes · View notes

txtmetonight · 3 months

Text

Me and My Husband

call summary ⋆ ★ You’ve had your lives' fulfillment of being contempt–or so you think. Because with Choi Beomgyu by your side, you ponder upon the thought a bit more than you should.

pairing *. * Choi Beomgyu x Fem! Reader

genre⋆ ★ Angst, Fluff?

warnings *. * Misogyny, Drinking, Pregnancy, Bad Grammar, Crude grammar

call duration⋆ ★ 5.6k

a/n*. * I know that there are different interpretations of this song so this is mine. Also, I got inspired by the novel Kim-Jiyoung born in 1982. It's such a good book, I def recommend it. And kinda sorry for the end. I suppose I rushed it a bit. Anyways, hope you enjoy lol.

taglist ⋆ ★ @kflixnet//@oreoqueen // @woncheecks//@probably-too-obssessed // @matcha-binz

The Mitski Diaries Masterlist

I steal a few breaths

From the world for a minute

Sigh.

In a working economy, where prices were rising, and work employment was decreasing, you were able to stabilize yourself against the rising tides of the world. An eight-to-four job that consisted of going outdoors to capture the photographs your management team had assigned you to click or either staring at a high-tech screen, a large white cubicle littered with little stickers and important reminders surrounding you.

It was a mediocre job that paid just well enough, but you were contempt. For now, at least. When you were old enough to really know what you wanted to be in the future, you would daydream about meddling in the medical field, and thinking about it further made you conclude that you wanted to take up a profession in psychology.

But sometimes after a dose of too much beer, you wonder how you got to take up photography and you find yourself on the web, wobbly fingers searching up how much medical school costs before you’re thrown back into reality looking at numbers that made you dizzier.

Your father and mother did their best to support you, but it was hard when your mother had your younger brother and house chores plus small work, she took up to make extra cash, and your father had to manage a small convenience store that did particularly well on some days. If someone asked you how your life was before college, you would respond with a monotone “It was alright”.

Because honestly, it was. You shared a room with your grandma until she passed while your younger brother had his own, your school was far away and when it was cold you froze walking there, and your father and mother would fight for a while when he came home drunk. Yet still you lived a happy life, nevertheless.

And over the years you’ve learnt several valuable lessons. First, when going an interview, it’s best to wear the brightest lipstick you’ve ever known, and your hair should be tied up to a high ponytail if you want to increase your chances of being picked, especially in an interview with other women. Though you probably won’t be picked, not when you find out that even a single man was also competing.

Second, a good night of drinking after a long day is nice but don’t overdo it, or the already less pay you get will be cut slack from however many hours you will miss that morning.

And third, the best boy you’ve ever met will be on a class retreat to the mountains for the Badminton club during your college experience.

A club filled with ten other male members and two other female members; served as a stress reliever after exam weeks and piling schoolwork. It was fun playing matches and though most members of the club reasoned that they were slacking off on you because you were new and not because you were a girl, you thoroughly enjoyed it.

The retreat was a plan that was created on a whim, one second you were drinking wine with the girls in one of their dorms, and in the other, all fourteen members including you were on a bus driving up a steep road, playing some old nostalgic songs. Just days before, a new member had joined, and at first, he hadn’t piqued your interest as much, but when he helped you grab your duffel bag from the top, your gaze stayed on his face a bit longer than usual.

Choi Beomgyu was born on March 13, 2001, he had AB blood, he housed a parrot named Toto and he had you wrapped around his finger by the end of the five-day, four-nights trip (which was a bit pricey for a bunch of college students).

And on the last day of the excursion, he had kissed ever-so softly against the walls of the cabin, while everyone else was out at a lake.

And then I'll be nothing forever

And all of my memories

And all of the things I have seen

Will be gone

With my eyes with my body with me

“Sunghoon, was definitely holding an affair with that short girl from section three! Why’d you think they both keep leaving the break room together?”

You strain a smile towards Kazuha and hold back a small exhale, instead focusing on the small strokes of color on your nails. A lilac shade. “I–I suppose? I don’t even know who the short girl is?” And after a second you add, “Nor Sunghoon. I don't even know Sunghoon.” Your heart thrums harder in your chest at the sudden emotional turmoil, that was honestly kind of stupid. But still, you laugh sourly, gazing at the girl through your lashes, her own lips dejectedly turning into a frown.

“I had forgotten you had quit.” She quietly murmurs, taking the brush from your hands to paint your left hand. Her eyes wander over the expanse of your shared room, and they linger too long on a portrait of your husband by your bedside table, eyebrows furrowing at the familiarity of the object.

You refuse to look, not when her face falls as she realizes with a tiny chuckle going back to your hands. It was a brown frame that held a picture that you took of your partner when you both were still dating (now married) and it used to sit near your mousepad, behind your daily cup of coffee, and in the small space you used to be offered.

You and Beomgyu dated for five years, one year in your last years of college and the other four years while you both worked. And all those four years, you’ve kept that same picture of your lover at the same spot, and at the same time on the clock you would stare at his utterly handsome face before being hulled back to work yet again.

It wasn’t a lie that you missed your job, and you spent your time at the kitchen countertop mulling over it, now more than ever as you scroll through your co-workers' feeds and watch them with large, widened eyes as they post the carefully edited photos they had taken or just fun gatherings with their peers.

That night you hold a staring contest with the ceiling of your bedroom, tracing the moving shapes your brain seems to formulate due to the pitch-black gloom. The presence of a warm body keeps you grounded as you wander to the depths of “what ifs”, just toeing that line before stepping back out in fear of a nasty wormhole that would bring you to tears.

“Hey baby, why are you still awake?”

An arm gets thrown over your waist while a voice tears you away just as you start to turn your attention to the blades of the fan above, and you look to your side to see Beomgyu having his eyes shut with his lips dangerously close to your neck.

“I dunno, just thinking. How was work today?” Your question and just for a second you ease into his warmth, preparing yourself for a story time just like how you would when your mom was reading you a fairytale to help you sleep. Beomgyu goes silent for a second and you’re afraid that he’s drifted to sleep but he drowsily murmurs, “It was tiring. Mr. Kang made me do a stack of reports and read a bunch of blah blah blah”

You scrunch your nose at his wording and envelop your fingers with the hand that’s placed on the skin of your stomach. “Is that so? Well, I wish that tomorrow is better, no?” He nods and gives you a small kiss on your cheek, eyelashes tickling your skin when he blinks. “I really hope...you would wish that for me, baby? You're so sweet. Today was probably easy for you, right? I too wish to take a couple of days off”

He jokes before snuggling into you even more and you ponder how well he could cuddle a wooden board...because that’s what you are right now. Stiff as a board. You gulp and clutch his hands tighter to force your eyes to close. Your “job” at home was not easy. You had to make sure that the laundry was done, that the dishes were clean and that Beomgyu got his food on time because he was always grouchy after a long day at work.

Exactly seven months ago, Beomgyu on behalf of you being his wife had told you to quit your job. You suspect that it was because of the pestering you heard over his phone when he doesn’t think you’re nearby, the voices of the people in his life wondering about your duties as a wife. But in his perspective, the job he was asking you to leave had you always complaining and coerced you to be awake until three sometimes. In your eyes it was boring-old work that you cherished, and the same job that you held many heart-felt memories of.

Perhaps that doesn’t matter when you must take care of your husband.

And so, you had taken his decision to leave a resignation letter at your boss's desk just a few days after the talk. Many asked you if it was because you were pregnant, but you just smiled and shook your head, saying that your husband needed you. That day he had taken you out to a fried chicken place with soju on the side as a congratulations party that you were finally broken from your chains. You were finally a free bird.

And the cries that you let out over the spicy chicken were a sign of pure happiness and not the distress that roared instead of your gut.

But now as you lay awake, eyes slowly burning with heavy sleep, you promise yourself just for a night of peaceful sleep that all the things you’ve seen, all the memories you have about “work” will be gone on for your own sake.

Being cooped up in the house, you decided to take a stroll outside after taking a peek at the window. It was a nice sunny day with a soft breeze that made you grab your coat before you headed out the door. Sporting a nice pair of shoes that your husband bought you over the weekend, you watch curiously as the sidewalks bustle with people. Cars honked and the chatter of the TV running bled through the walls nearby you as you strode by. It was a happy day, but the smile on your face doesn’t seem to cooperate as much as you try.

But me and my husband

We're doing better

It's always been just him and me

Together

You try and try, but it twitches and turns, and you force yourself to cover it up as much as possible with your hands and with your gaze downwards. All your life, you’ve tried to reach for the stars and every time you came nowhere close, so how was this one error in your multitudes of malfunctions going to affect you. You know that you’re dented and bruised, and so you’re afraid...afraid of being left behind by Beomgyu as if you’re nothing when it’s just you two together. Because truly, you believe you are, even as much as your lover convinces himself that you’re not...just to make it better for the both of you.

Nonetheless, you realize that it will always be him next to you, holding your hand, whether you like it or not.

The cold wind picks up and you wrap your jacket around you tighter, but that doesn’t do much for the running goosebumps that trail down your arms. A familiar convenience store just down the road practically calls out for you as a shelter to hide from the biting cold, and so you jog through the sidewalk, hands shivering on the door as you open it.

The bell on top rings. The cashier barely even looks up while you walk by, and you slip by past the younger woman to hide near the ramen section of the store. You were always amazed by the number of flavors and companies that this single food item held, the different sizes, colors, and levels of spice were always intriguing when you ran your fingers over the cartons of boxes, which ultimately stopped at a black box.

In bold red colors, a small cup of your favorite ramen looks back at you. You freeze and let out a sigh. Then before you know it, you reason with yourself and snatch the cup into your hands. You used to eat this daily, dead at night with a computer in your lap and the sauce smeared all over your lips as your eyes gleamed distantly with a show played in the background.

While you walked through the aisles, you caught yourself in the reflection of a bright window, eyes widening when you found a younger version of yourself smiling back at the windows. She’s pretty and youthful and smiling like she didn’t have a care in the world. Her face is contorted into an expression of happiness, and you're bewildered when she winks at you.

The wrinkles on your face are practically non-existent on hers while she tilts her head, mouthing words you couldn’t hear. Your feet twitch to run up to the glass, to put your ear against it to hear her better but you don’t. Instead, you gape like a baffled fish. Something wet drips down your cheeks which slowly drips down her’s too.

You wonder why she’s crying so you reach up to your tears to wipe them away from the burning they leave in their way, and you expect her to do the same...except on her side, long fingers that don’t match yours slowly mop them away.

The background behind her which used to be transparent, materializes into something like your old dorm. And right behind her is him with his short brown hair and a sympathetic smile on his face. He croons at her, crouching by her side, slowly patting her head in a soothing manner. And suddenly, you feel as though your own hair is being ruffled, as though you can hear the soft humming and the feeling of warmth pressing into your back.

It’s been a while. It’s been so long since you’ve felt such a comforting touch from him. You’ve fallen into a routine that leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. So salty that it leaves you choking on your own saliva each time you try to gulp down your arising tears, in the bathroom. But you love him. You really do. And in the end, it’s just a husband, you suppose. Not your boyfriend. Only your husband.

“That’s not fucking fair Beomgyu!” You scream, hands waving in the air like a madman. A volcano rumbles deep in your heart, aching to be released as if it just bubbles over the top. The man in front of you sucks in his lips, his eyes shaking at your outburst.

If you had sanity in you at that moment, you would’ve stopped at his trembling, or with the thought that the neighbors next door could hear your screeches (the walls were horribly thin). The skin on you reeks of frustration and despair. You don’t cry though. “I–I’ve had a hard day too!” He reasons, stepping closer towards you but stopping abruptly when you drag your foot backward. “

And so? You won’t spend it with me? Do you know how bad these two weeks have been for me? Did you even have a fucking hint?” His voice stills in his throat, choosing to stay silent with wide glossy eyes. He’s never liked to be yelled at; you’ve known that since he got scolded by his teammate in a badminton match and came back to you with a raw nose and ruby eyes that faded out near his pupils.

You furrow your eyebrows, and in a moment of actual hurt that he hasn’t said anything about you, your arms cover your chest. “Of course you didn’t. You never do” You whisper, voice cracking as you turn around to stomp back to your room. The door slams behind you when you collapse to the floor with blubbering sobs. You wail and wail and wail. Fingers itch at your face furiously, not letting a drop spill on the floor.

You don’t hear the door slowly creaking open, nor the soft singing behind you but once you do, your heart stills in its rampage. The silence is loud as a pair of feet pad behind you, nuzzling into your head as his fingers crawl over to your neck, pulling you against his chest. “I don’t have an excuse.” Beomgyu starts off.

“But I promise you, that I’ll do better for you–for us. Because you deserve it more than anyone else. (Y/n), you deserve all the happiness in the world and much better so I’m sorry that you’re stuck by me”

He stops when he feels you shaking your head against him, but that doesn’t deter him too much when he finds the confidence to clean your face with the soft pads of his fingers, his lips now on your neck, just where your pulse beats against his mouth. “But please stay with me.” Beomgyu puffs.

“By your side?” You ask, turning around in his arms when you couldn’t stand it anymore to watch an older version of yourself, crying heartbreakingly so in the reflection of your cerulean lampshade. Such a tragic sight, that you feel as though your guts are being arranged by the never-ending feeling of unexplainable doom. “By my side. Nothing more or nothing less”

You nod and the notion of perturbation and doubt fills the hollow gap of your beating organ–and all you’re hoping is that he’s right.

The way that your mind thinks is quite twisted, you believe. Because you assume that you’re obliged to be Beomgyu’s side forever on–because frankly, it’s just you and him together.

So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We're sticking together

Me and my husband

We're sticking together

Your mother-in-law was a pleasant woman with a charming smile and her husband–your father-in-law was a nice man who sported thick glasses during the many novellas he would devour on the couch. The first time you met them two was when it was a time between yours and Beomgyu’s relationship when you both were introducing each other to the other half’s family members and this time it was your husband’s time for a meet and greet at his house.

They invited you inside and took the bouquet of lilies you brought for them, unlatching your hand-locked hold with Beomgyu as they both took a turn to hug you. They were warm and smelled like sugary vanilla, the mother having a hint of spicy red chilies sticking to her clothes.

Immediately she drags you to the kitchen for a bit of assistance while Beomgyu catches up with his dad. You furrow your eyebrows, because Beomgyu didn’t do that at your house when he came over. In fact, you found yourself in the kitchen again that same time. Was he supposed to help as a guest?

At the dining table, they served you rich Jjajangmyeon that you ate a lot though it was salty and ever since then they all assumed that your mothers-in-law's Jjajangmyeon was your favorite dish.

You’re brought back to that memory of the first-day meeting when you find yourself looking back at the black sauce in front of you. The two older adults sit in front of you, one is slurping up his food while the other sits with her hands in her lap followed by dialogue that she was waiting for her only child to start eating. But she tells you to start and so you do, trying to not let the saltiness reside on your tongue too much.

“So (Y/n), when are you and Gyu going to have my grandson?” Soo-Young laughs nudging her husband to follow along too and soon enough you three are all awkwardly chuckling. You push around the noodles before bringing it up to your face. “I’m not sure. I don’t really want to carry a child as of now. I’m happy with Beomgyu just the way it is right now.”

For some reason your voice struggles at the word “happy” but you clear up the crack with a small cough, eyes darting back to your food. “Do you have a problem with your body that you can’t bear a child?”

You’ve expected this very question, but your heart still drops at it.

“I–I don’t. Me and Beomgyu aren’t trying right now” You’re ashamed, but you shouldn’t be. But you can’t help it when both parents don’t look convinced but rather disappointed. Anger flares for a mere moment. You’ve heard what their brothers, sisters, and cousins, have been saying about you both.

And in that very scene, you feel like you’re crumbling against their hard stares. You don’t want to bear a child, you just don’t! It’s too much for you now. Mentally and Physically. “Well, that’s good your body is healthy.” Your father-in-law's face hardens and his wife nods briefly before continuing her onslaught. “I hope you have a boy soon. It would be good for all of us”

She sends you a sweet upturn of her lips before she watches the door for its grand reveal, all while you’re internally panicking. The sweat rolls down your back and you play with the food on your plate.

And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved

You’re hopeless in situations like this. You never know what to say or what to do, and you’re so fucking pathetic that you can’t help but rely on others–on your husband. So, when Beomgyu bursts in through that door, with a bright smile on his face you feel your body melt and puddle against the chair.

The welcoming nod he sends towards you is just warming enough for you to unclench your jaws and hands. “You’re back” You whisper.... standing up in your chair while you hit your table against the surface of the table. Your husband loosens his tie and places his blue briefcase on the couch before he spares another look at you.

“Careful honey didn’t know that you were this excited to see me” He quips while he rubs his hands, eyes closing when the stomach-growling scent of food slams into his nose. “Oh, Beomgyu how was work today?” His mom asks, leaving you to serve your husband with whatever he pleased at that moment, and he is happy to tell you exactly what he was craving at the dining table. “Not that bad, I didn’t have too much work today.”

He sighs as he places a chaste kiss on your cheek, your eyelashes fluttering at the contact. The hysteria inside you has slightly died and it slowly seeps away as you watch your husband, your hand slithering to his to hold, but his hands move away before you can catch them.

Your smile drops and the feeling intensifies deep inside you.

Beomgyu sends you an eyebrow raise, lips smiling softly when you subtly shake your head towards the front door, and he gets the signal immediately before he immediately starts to chow down his food. Fingers twitching against your thighs, you stand up to distract yourself and head to the kitchen to grab Beomgyu some water.

You don't feel real for a second, honestly as though you were watching a perspective of yourself in a video game. The veins under your skin thrummed with buzzing nervousness as your eyebrows furrow, and you find your hands shaking as you fill up your husband’s glass, but everything is zooming in and out and the world around you is going round and round.

“Fuck I can’t see” You mutter to yourself and before you know it, shards of sharp glass fly everywhere around your feet, bursting into a million diamonds once they touch the ground...and your feet. The soft tissue cracks open at a single deep slice, yet you don’t feel the burning pain where it should be.

Instead, you feel it in your throat where bile threatens to spill into your mouth, in your brain where it pulses erratically, your eyes that flit all over the place and your beating organ that stops for a second and then continues then stops then continues.

Stop. Thump. Stop. Thump. Stop. Thump

“(Y/n)?!” A pair of callous hands step over to your side, and you find yourself face-to-face with your mother-in-law, her face concerned as she leads you out of the mess. “I’m sorry” You whisper, whipping your head towards Beomgyu, who immediately rises from his seat and sprints to the bathroom.’

“Oh gosh, it’s okay” Her eyes dare to flicker to the penetrating wound. You don’t even try. Not when gravity could potentially pull those salty tears down to earth.

It doesn’t take long for Beomgyu to find the first aid kit and bring it back to you, before he wraps his arm around your hand, pulling you up. “Beomgyu? Where are you going?” His mother demands, and you almost croak for them to stop, just leave you alone, but you don’t. Rather, you flop onto your husband’s side as he explains that he is just going to take you outside for a second.

“(Y/n)’s still most likely in shock. Let her breathe some of the fresh air, it will do her good. I read it in an. article sometime back.” You’re not even sure what his mother says after to him but you’re being dragged with your other unharmed foot just right outside the porch, where he makes you sit in one the brown chairs that was placed for decor, and he...and he just sits on the ground, next to your dripping foot.

The smell of rust makes you gag into the crook of your arm, coughing violently as you try to let yourself up. “What’re you doing? Sit back down” He grabs your fleeting arm, looking into your eyes with an unexplainable glint. “Ok” You mumble, and that’s all it took of him for you to obey, gently sitting back into the cushion of the seat.

The silence consumes you whole, and you furrow your eyebrows struggling to breathe. Words that you want to spit out, lodge themselves in your trachea. Below you, Beomgyu carefully tends to your foot with a serious look imprinted on his handsome features.

Drip. Drop.

Eyes shooting up to the ceiling, you ignore your husband’s pointed gaze on you, his working hands wet from the silent waterfall that streams down your face. “Baby...” He whispers, putting his cold hands around you, grazing your cheeks as he pulls you down to earth. You sniffle, wiping away your reddening nose,

“I don’t know if I want to stay here anymore?” You’re not sure why you’re questioning yourself when you knew for sure you itched to leave, every nerve inside burning in aflame in hopes of disappearing. “But why? We just came and you know how long it’s been since we’ve stayed over. Plus, today was the last day before my leave off... I had to drive forty minutes just to get here” He reasons, applying light pressure to your foot to stop the spurting of blood.

Your chest stutters at his words, guilt settling deep in your bones, but your lips don’t stop moving. They talk against your mind’s will.

“I don’t want to have a kid.”

Beomgyu’s still motion makes you sick to your stomach. “I see. Did my parents ask you about it?” He questions softly. “I suppose.” And finally, you find the courage in yourself to stare him in the staring eyes, wary of the slightest flutter of annoyance from him.

Yet he slowly raises his fingers, and pinches your cheek lightly, tugging it side to side while his lips turn full of a small smile. “If you don’t want to have one, that’s ok, love. But...you know that they’re right, we–we’ve been married for a while now. Don’t you want to start a family? I know I do.”

You gasp, reaching for the escaping oxygen, “Bu–but I–”

“You won’t do everything on your own. Just us. Together. I’ll take care of us as a family, treat you well, take more leaves off, um–not go out with my friends as much, I’ll do anything you want.” He leans forward to place a longing kiss on your forehead, and you just close your eyes, chewing your tongue off as it squirms to scream at him.

Your fists tighten to push him off, and your legs ache to run away. Run away as far as you can from this place. But you don’t. You stay sitting in that chair as Beomgyu wipes away your tears, kissing you warmly. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t get the way that you’re going to change permanently forever. Both mind and body.

You may hate your child forever on after this, but you still don’t get a say on whether you want it or not.

“Baby?” Beomgyu pulls back to look at you, giggling at your flushed cheeks, but you don’t find anything amusing. “Yeah?” You mumble, sucking in deep breaths. “We’ll get through it together. I promise.”

‘Together?’ You ponder.

You don’t want to.

Me and my husband

We're doing better

It's always been just him and me

Together

Your whole body aches with unimaginable pain. Everything is on fire, and the wet tears rolling down your eyes do nothing to soothe it. There’s chattering everywhere but it’s going in one ear and out the other, so you hope that the man by your side is listening intently. You blink slowly to the beat of the two hearts just above your rising chest. Small heads tickle your chin, and their soft warm bodies slow down your breathing a little.

“You did so well, love.” You want to make up the happy sniffles that emit next to you, but you can’t because your dear husband is truly crying. Any other time you would’ve made fun of him, poked, and teased him for his weeping but you feel like doing the same. But everything dried up the moment your eyes had first landed on your babies.

Godsend babies.

But, after their first cries hit the world, you imagine yourself as a mere twelve-year-old (or rather any age below twenty-six) left alone with two wailing babies, locked in a very dark room. Though it was important to take note that, your vivid imagination had increased by tenfold through those nine months...so you didn’t think anything of it. Yet those feelings felt very very real, as though they were thriving right under your skin, crawling like little centipedes, sneaking into every crevice and bump under your organs, eyebrows twitching at the torment.

You turn your head to catch the calendar on the plain white wall, and in a red circle, highlights the date.

"February 12th" You tremble as you watch your husband nod furiously, clutching your hand to his face. The red burns into the paper and kept in a trance you wonder...in a few years from now, will those random letters and numbers leave a bitter taste on your tongue, or will the remnants of sweet birthday cake follow instead.

So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow

And at least in this lifetime

We're sticking together

If someone asked you how you felt as of right now, you would say “I dunno” in hopes of justifying yourself to your own consciousness. But taking one look at Beomgyu who beams as bright as the sunny sun outside, teeth blinding as ever, you would then change your answer to “Very happy. I am very happy because I have two kids, one of whom is a boy, thank you very much. And the other is a girl and they both, plus me are loved by my lovely husband, who is sticking with me ‘till death do us part.”

You would’ve thrown the last part in as a little joke to hide the dishonesty that would’ve seeped through the very gaps of your teeth. But that doesn't change the fact that it was now officially true. Those two on your chest, breathing with life, had just made it so.

Me and my husband

We're sticking together

“(Y/n) what is this mess?”

The two kids (both turning eight in a month) in your lap scurry away at the sound of their very tired father leaving you to stand there with a cluttered disarray behind you. You sigh. “I’ll clean it up.” Your body throbs as it leaves its place on the couch, not bothering to even watch yourself as you accidentally stumble into Beomgyu. Though you immediately freeze at the familiar odor that excretes from him.

“Have you been drinking again?” You ask, turning around to face the man who just oddly stares at you. Pieces of gray litter his hair, a stubble grows but he still looks handsome as ever, stunning as he was in that damned cabin. “What’s it with you on what I do? You’re not my mom. You’re my wife.”

Aha.

You lean towards him with a comforting pat on his arm, understanding the horrible grief that stirs deep inside him. You wonder if you should let him off the hook this time, his mother, the grandmother of your kids had just passed away a month ago, and his unhealthy habit his just started a week after her passing.

Perhaps you were too nice to him, maybe those small jobs you’ve taken on had made you soft-hearted, but you always fell weak in front of Beomgyu and you realized that earlier on. “It’s ok, love.” You sigh, taking him into a hug, trying not to wince at the sour smell. He doesn’t do much to embrace you, but you don’t mind.

Parting away from him, you offer a weak smile to him.

“Tomorrow is the weekend. Let us get a bigger desk for our daughter since she’s now having the room to herself.”

Me and my husband

We're doing better

74 notes · View notes

cassiopeiasdaughter · 9 months

Text

midnight rain

Theodore Nott x fem!reader

part of the midnights collection

December 5th, 1998

Dear Diary,

I feel exhausted. I thought it would be over by now. I don’t think any of us ever expected this to go on for so long.

It started in the summer of ‘97 and 1999 is right around the corner. No, maybe not in 1997; it started many years ago, before I was born, before most people in this house were born. It must end soon and right this time. For good.

No more hatred, violence. We can’t let that happen again. I refuse to live in a world like that.

Last week was a nightmare. We were sent to Little Hangleton; a small village where the first Horcrux was created. We didn't find much, I remember Draco complaining about how wasteful the trip was and Hermione shouting at him; I found it funny at first, it brought me back to school but it was different this time.

Now they don’t actually hate eachother and I am sure that if something were to happen, they’d run to help eachother without hesitation. I was so lost in thought, daydreaming about our future; how everything will look like if we make it… and I guess that is why I didn't hear them.

Death Eaters, werewolves, everywhere. They were waiting for us, and they were so many. We were surrounded and had no other choice but to fight.

I was too busy fending off two Death Eaters and I didn’t see Greyback running towards me all bloody and terrifying.

Once I realized what was happening I stood frozen, I physically couldn’t move, I kept begging myself to do something, fight- run- scream- anything. He knocked me down and pushed my body to the ground with his claws. The blood on him was fresh and it got all over me. I couldn’t help but play it in my mind; how he killed the person whose blood was now on me. How he would soon kill me.

I can still feel his weight on my chest, when I am about to sleep, I can feel his breath on my neck and his claws on my shoulder.

I could have been bit, he could have killed me right then, just like he has done to so many people. But, Nott Theo was there and he cast a spell on him, causing him to fly away from me.

Hermione ran to me and we teleported back here. I couldn't speak and Theo kept shouting "Did he bite you?", "Is it your blood?", I just shook my head and locked myself in the shower, scrubbing my skin clean, getting rid of all the blood; of every feeling tied to that place.

I remember now the way the others looked at me, with pity, as if I had lost my mind.

I feel too weak for this war sometimes, like I am not made for something like this, I am not like Ginny or Harry. I am not like Hermione who kept her calm and willed herself to fight.

No one stopped when danger came, they weren’t scared and even if they were; survival kicked in.

The storm outside your window had been slowly calming you down. If you close your eyes you can pretend you are in your bed at Hogwarts, curled up in blankets and listening to the rain tapping on your window. Scottish winters were your favorites, storms always brought a sense of comfort to you, and rain lulled you to sleep.

Now, the crack of thunder scares you so much that the pen flies out of your hand landing somewhere on the desk and you stumble out of your chair, jumping backwards. You need to run, but in which direction? You feel the threat of tears forming in your eyes, but you know that if you let yourself fall down that hole, it won’t be easy to dig yourself out of it.

You look around in despair, begging your mind to find anything to distract yourself and that is when you hear a soft knock on your door.

Before you answer the door you make sure to wipe your tears and fix your hair; to try and look normal. But what is normal now anyways?

You find Hermione with a sympathetic smile; you know that smile. It is a smile she reserves for her friends, when they need help, comfort. You never were on the receiving end of it, it was always Harry or Ginny, sometimes Ron. You hate that now it is your turn to be pitied, taken care of. It feels strange and it makes you uneasy.

“I brought you soup.” She says with a clam voice and steps inside.

You quickly walk over your desk with her, but close your diary before she can read what you’ve written.

“You didn’t come down to eat, so I figured you’ll be hungry.”, she places the bowl on your desk, by your things and turns to look at you.

You desperately try to avoid her gaze, not wanting to seem more wounded than you are, “Ah- yeah thank you.”, you lie staring at your hands.

She casts a Muffliato, blocking anyone outside the room from listening, before she begins to tell you news from the boys.

“They managed to destroy two of them, they don’t want us to know more, but they might be heading to Hogwarts soon.”

“Hogwarts? Why?” You ask surprised

“Uh- Harry is sure there are Horcruxes there. Moody hasn’t allowed it yet, but they will go. I know it.”,

You nod silently, two Horcruxes down, how many more to go? It took you almost two years for two of them, who knows when the rest will be destroyed. And even if you manage to get rid of them all, how can you be so sure Voldemort will lose? Even without the Horcruxes, he has a whole army, full of deadly wizards and witches to protect him. It would take one order for the werewolves to attack you and kill you.

Tears begin forming in your eyes again; the more you think about the War the more hopeless everything feels. You can’t let Hermione see you ruined; Hermione who has been your closest friend all these years, the one that has managed to stay strong and not back down. You know what she did to her parents, instead of running with them she stayed. She bears the most danger but she still hasn’t lost hope; she continues fighting. No, you can’t let her see you break down, you owe her that.

You look around the room to avoid her gaze once again when your eyes land on a brown coat, discarded on a chair, in the corner of the room. It is the coat Theo gave you that night on the porch, you still haven’t given it back. What better time to do that than now, when you so desperately need to avoid Hermione before you drop to your knees and cry in front of her.

Immediately, you run and grab the coat and turn to Hermione with an apologetic look on your face “I am so sorry, I need to give Nott this, before I forget it. He let me borrow it a few weeks ago.”, you say and take fast strides towards the door, while also guiding/kicking her out of your room.

Once you are both out you head towards his room while also shouting behind your shoulder “I love you, we’ll talk later.”

While clutching the wool on your hands to ground you, you stop outside Theos room. You remember the time, it must be a few minutes past midnight by now, and the rain hasn’t calmed one bit, lightning lights up the cold corridor through the windows.

You knock a few times, telling yourself that if he doesn’t answer you’ll leave and smoke another of Lunas cigarettes to ease your mind. Maybe you’ll try one of the cookies she’s been begging you to taste…

The door opens as you begin to curse yourself for causing this much trouble in just one night, and a sleepy red-eyed Theo stands in front of you confused.

You force an apologetic smile and hold out his coat in front of him “Sorry for waking you up, I wanted to return this.”

He takes it off of your hands “Ah- it’s ok, thank you.”

He doesn’t make a move to close the door and head inside his room, and you don’t turn around to leave. You both stare at eachother silently and wait for the other person to do something.

The sound of thunder scares you both and as you jump a little he grabs your arm as if preventing you from falling.

“It’s really loud tonight, isn’t it? And it has been going on for ages.”, he says awkwardly

“Yes. I hate it.”, you say and look around nervously

“You uh- want to come inside?”

“Don’t you want to go back to sleeping?”, you ask him

“I- no I wasn’t sleeping, I can’t”,he replies awkwardly

So you nod and step inside. The room is dark and messy. The curtains are drawn over the windows, shielding him from the outside world and the only thing lighting the space is the old lamp by his bed.

It feels cold, just like the Slytherin Common Room, in the depths of the Great Lake. As your eyes move towards his bed you spot old photos of him and his housemates, no not just any housemates, his friends and Blaise.

You look into his face again and observe how his cheeks are glistening, his eyes aren’t red because he is tired, he was crying.

He quickly cleans up the bed and throws a couple of pillows on the floor to sit there. He looks at you expectantly and gives you a boyish smile which you return as you sit opposite to him, crossing your legs and resting your hands on your knees, while he leans his back on the bed.

A few minutes of silence pass, crucial for both of you to adjust to this new situation. Alone, in a dark bedroom, obviously seeking comfort and solace in eachother, and also needing a space to hide from the outside world.

“Than-” “Are you-?” You say at the same time and then let out an awkward laugh.

“You first.”, Theo says

“Thank you for Little Hangleton, I haven’t seen you since then. I owe you.”

He scratches the back of his head as he remembers the battle, Greyback, your look afterwards.

“How are you, after that- after everything?” A sincere question that stabs your insides slowly.

“I” you laugh awkwardly “I am fine, others have had it worse” your best friend was killed in front of you you want to say, but instead settle for an “I will be fine.”

“Tsk” he mutters “Don’t do that, don’t act like it was nothing, I was there.”

“Well, we are fighting in a war, we know things like that are prone to happen.”

“You can never prepared when they happen to you.”, you know he is right but you can’t let yourself accept it.

“But nothing happened, he didn’t do anything to me. You knocked him off me before he-”, you can’t say the words and need a minute to take a breath.

“I know”, he says

“I am safe.” you say with a loud voice and the threat of tears in your eyes

“I know” he says again with a calm voice, his eyes never leaving yours.

His gentleness is what causes you to break. And it is because behaviors like his don’t belong in these times. His voice; filled with the promise of safety and warmth is what you crave most; and the second you realize it is nothing but an illusion, a daydream, you break down.

You can feel a door, inside your chest bursting open and letting out all the feelings you’ve been keeping to yourself. Anger, sadness, hopelessness; they are all out in the open- making you vulnerable to him. You shut your eyes, not wanting to see the pity on his face, or worse; you’re afraid he now sees you for who you are, a fragile little girl, pretending to be strong and brave.

You are unable to say anything to him, so you wait for him to leave you alone and then pretend this never happened. He doesn’t do anything for the first few seconds, but then you are in his arms and your face is buried in his chest.

He remains silent, not wanting to lie and say “its alright” or “I know how you feel”. He just remains silent and waits for you to let it all out. And that is enough.

By the time you’ve run out of tears the storm has also stopped, leaving you with the soft sound of light rain.

The realization then, of where you are and who you are with stains your cheeks red and makes your body hot. You slowly raise yourself from Theos chest and before you cry out of embarrassment you say “I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, you shouldn't have seen that.”, with a self-deprecating tone

He gives you a reassuring smile, “It’s alright, you dont have to keep everything inside, you shouldn’t.”

You almost believe him, you want to, but then you see the mess your tears made on his shirt and out of instinct you hide your face in your hands. “Oh Godric, it’s embarrassing.”

He laughs and gently pulls your hands from your eyes, “You aren’t the only one losing her mind over the War.”, he jokes and you laugh, but then he continues with a serious voice

“Every time I sleep, I dream of Blaise, dying, and I can’t help him. Ever. And on the nights I am not able to sleep I can hear those who scream as they wake up, on the other die of the walls.”

“You don’t have to carry it alone, whatever it is.”, he finishes

You fight the urge to cry and softly say“Thank you.” Without thinking you place your hand in his “Then, you dont have to carry it alone either, you can talk to me, whenever you want.”, but suddenly, you feel as if you’re overstepping or getting too close so you pull back and say “If you haven’t already talked to the others, of course.”

He gives you a nod and you can see how his movements have slowed down and his eyes are glassy.

“I am sorry for staying so long, I’ll leave you alone, you must be tired.” You say as you stand up “Thank you again and if you ever need my help, I am a corridor away.”

“Thank you”

“Goodnight.”, you say with a smile and he answers back “Goodnight.”

Returning to your room, you feel as if a weight has been lifted off your chest. Of course, the weight will appear again in the future, but now you know how to get rid of it. You promise yourself to talk to Hermione in the morning. Let her in, and ask her how she is doing.

Under her strong exterior there may be hiding a scared and tired girl too. She must need someone to talk to, you owe her to be that person. Because, you love her and because she is the closest thing you have to a home now.

You see your diary and remember you never finished what you were writing, you think you want to write about Theo, but whatever it is that happened just then, whatever you are starting to feel right now, is too new. It is so new and fragile that you can’t even write about it in your diary.

It will be alright. I may not be strong right now, I may be scared and breakable but I know that it can be fixed. I just need to focus on the good, whatever is left of it now. I need to focus on the missions and on winning. The faster we win, the sooner I can be okay again.

It is just another storm, and after the storm rainbows come out.

Thank you for being here for me.

Yours,

But as you begin to write down your name you hear a soft knock on the door. It must be Hermione, you think and prepare yourself for the talk you ought to have and the many apologies you owe her for avoiding her like that.

On the other side of the door however, stands a flushed Theo, wearing his Slytherin sweatshirt and holding his pillow to his chest. “Can I sleep here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”, he whispers self-consciously and you can’t do anything but let him in.

eat your apples because your future doctors are over here posting self insert fics instead of studying immunology 🤪🤠

this will be continued

also: feedback & criticism are very much appreciated & needed

#theodore nott x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theo nott #wizarding war au #slowburn #hurt/comfort

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