#generally feeling like my future wasn't worth living | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tonixe · 3 months

Note

Hiya babes hope you’re doing well I’ve had this idea for a young Coriolanus Snow where he’s fresh into his presidency and runs into a maid in his room putting his clothes away. He thinks it’s just some avox but it turns out to be and old classmate (she was in the grade a year younger than but he’d seen her passing in the halls and she came from quite a respectable lineage). He becomes infatuated by her and why she’s working for him and not living some life of luxury, it becomes months worth of cat and mouse where Coryo tries to buy her love with gifts and she tries to stay strong. But finally she gives in and they start an affair (he isn’t married it’s just he wouldn’t want to be caught dead having a relationship with a servant girl). Normal he just tells her he wants to see her and that night they do an assortment of nefarious things, but one night he asked her to say instead of kicking her out like he usually does. She thrown off by this and after a little hesitancy she agrees.

So that’s all I really have feel free to make the rest up, but also don’t feel obligated to write about this it’s just something that’s come to my mind. I didn’t mean for this to be so long sorry. Love you loads hope you have the best of days and I hope you’ll find inspiration from this prompt. Okay kisses and hugs this is me signing off.

— Dirty little secret

WARNING: Unprotected sex, implied mudpie, fingering, implied affair, groping.

PAIRING: President!Coriolanus Snow x maid!reader

WORD COUNTER: 1.8k

Days for Coriolanus seemed to tick on longer than he bargained after getting elected and inaugurated to the office of Panem. Being the President of Panem wasn't a joke, nor did it have any time to just sit around, he was a busy man with a country behind him and leading the future of his people and generations. It was tiring for him, sometimes he would just accidentally sleep in his office rather than go to his bedroom. After piles of documents and papers were placed on his desk, finding more time to complete them if he locked himself away in his office.

On top of that, he had to make speeches and host future events. He just didn't have any time for self-pleasure with all the work on his desk, but he was dutiful and a studious worker. He did his usual routine after finalizing some paperwork and handing it off to his secretary to press. Dragging his feet against the delicate and pleasant tiles, tiredness drowned his vision, as he opened the door of his chamber spotting a dainty maid in his room. Your eyes widen at the sight of the President in front of you, immediately bowing down, before lifting your head slightly up. "Mr. President, I was just delivering your clothes" You curtsy at him, Coriolanus originally thought you were just an avox until you spoke, but now a mere maid hired by his secretary but once he got a glimpse of your face, a flash of simple memory ran through his mind. You started taking steps away from him trying to get away from the brewing tension, "Stop" You turned your body to him, looking at him with your full attention.

The sounds of the heel of his shoes on the bedroom flooring, feeling his soft hands on your jaw, slowly lifting your head up, taking in the scene of you. You held your breath as he simply inspected you, feeling your heart pumping against your chest. His azure eyes stared into your own, for a moment..before he withdrew his hands away from you. "You may go" he finished, you watched as he turned his body away from you before you scurried out of the bedroom.

But Coriolanus couldn't help but look back at you as you ran away, the sense of familiarity when he saw you was haunting his head. He pondered about it, putting his hand underneath his chin as he thought about you. The passing days were just Coriolanus watching you as you worked around the manor, his eyes never leaving your form. He managed to gather some information on you, by looking through your files, after all, he is the President of Panem it's his job to know everything, right?

His hands flipped through the dainty white pages, your headshot on the first page as he read through the private information, finding out that you were from Capitol blood, and ended up in the depths of middle class maybe even lower instead of luxury. Curiosity filled his mind about you, questions flowing through his mind with no answer to them. "What really are you..Y/N" he whispered under his breath, examining the photo of you. Most of these days were now mostly spent with him staring at you doing chores around the household, hanging up laundry, washing clothes, and cleaning the floors.

He likes how you laugh and smile when talking to your co-workers while you work. Every time he sees your smile, it makes some of his problems melt away, if he is stressed, he completely forgets what he was stressed about. He would purposely order you to his room to clean or arrange something in his office. Over a few months passing, he would continue asking for you, so adding little gifts and necklaces. For you, it was a surprise, certainly. Who expects the President of Panem to gift a simple maid a luxurious, expensive necklace, priced at a high price, more than you get paid. So you would send them off, at first you were confused thinking it was a mistake he sent the luxurious package to you, then it was sent back to you, this time a different gift, more beautiful and elegant. So you sent it back again, he began to be more curious and furious why you didn't keep and accept the gifts he sent, were they too ugly, an eyesore or indifferent to you.

So he orders you to his room...

It was the middle of the night, being pulled out of the servant quarters by the headmistress, ordering you to serve Coriolanus, and you obeyed. Your body is still engulfed in your flimsy nightgown and your flats on the floor of the manor, as you walk down the hallways. You opened the door to Coriolanus still in his attire, leaning on the bedframe. His eyes darted at you. "Mr. President, you requested of me" You held your hands together, looking him in the eyes. You hear his footsteps inching closer to you, his hands on his hips, "Do you hate them?" he asked, his eyes never leaving your frame, cocking your eyebrow, confused about what he was asking you.

"Hate, what, Sir?" you questioned, "The gifts" he walked closer to you, "Do you hate them, Y/N?" he looked at you, his eyes attentively staring at your own e/c. You felt sweat pending up on the palm of your hand as you began to clear your throat, "No—I just thought you sent them by mistake, sir" You said, you looked away from him, feeling flustered at how close he was to you. 'Y/n, do you think I'm an idiot to send something three things to the same person?" He gently lifted up your chin, making direct eye contact with you. "N-no, sir!" You exclaimed, "Then why, my sweet dove?' he questioned, "What have I done to deserve them" You mumbled,

"Every time I saw you, you have been pulling the strings to my heart..." He whispered, his deep voice resonating through your body, sending chills down your spine, you were hesitant to respond to him. The few moments of silence were unbearable, it felt like his eyes were tracking your every move. "Would it, not be improper for you to date a servant woman like me?" You murmur, and he immediately takes your face into his hands, "I will trade all of Panem just to have you in my arms" You parted your lips, staring at him in shock. Before he took your lips, kissing you. His hands touched against your skin, making you whine, his fingers slowly taking off the strings of your sheer nightgown. Immediately the cold air hits your bare skin making you moan, his hand trailing against your sides. He withdrew from your lips, his eyes clouded with lust, his pupils dilated. "W-we can't", looking away from him in embarrassment, trying to cover yourself up from his gaze.

He picked you up by your thighs, immediately putting your arms around his neck. He carried you towards the bed, dropping you onto the mattress, you instantly tried to cover yourself until he ripped your hands away as he stared at you beneath him. He took off your panties, slowly, his eyes staring at your slick coating your panties off, making you flustered. He started taking off his belt, you watched as he took his trousers off along with his boxers. His length springs out, pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock, feeling yourself getting wet underneath him. His eyes were heavy with lust, impatiently to have you, taste you, and fuck you.

He slowly inserts himself into you, a moan being ripped out of your throat, holding him by his biceps. "Itis' too big" you groaned. You tried to adjust yourself around his cock, you bit the bottom of your lip simmering the pain. Before he started moving, his pelvis smacked into your cunt as your breast bounced in impact.

You pushed your head back in pleasure as he forced himself into you, he groaned into your ear. "You're taking me so well, dove" he whispered, kissing your collarbone. The sound of wet skin clapping resonating around the bedroom, his hands moving around your body, rubbing the nipples of your breast, moaning in response. "Your so warm" he groaned, moving his hips against you, you felt yourself inching near your release.

He place your leg onto his shoulder, moving your body to the side as he thrusted inside, feeling his cock deeper inside you.

His hand groped your breast, abusing your nipples as he plunged into you deeper. Before feeling yourself coming undone, squeezing down on his cock. "Fuck" he groaned, pushing himself into you. His fingers trailing down onto your pelvis, he rubbed your clit, making you whine. Breathy moans echoed from your lips, and you looked through your lashes at him. Your walls massaging his cock, his thrust getting faster and into an animalistic pace.

His groans became frantic, as he fucked himself into you, before he pulled out and cummed onto your stomach, the white sticky load coating your body. Feeling your legs shaking, and your chest heaving. Staring at him, tiredness in your eyes.

"You did so good, dove," he said, kissing the corner of your neck.

Soon this moment happened time and time again, mostly during the nights when everyone was gone or sleeping away. He would call for you, knowing what would happen at the end of every night, you on his bed either coated with his cum or filled with it. Usually leaving before anyone can get suspicious of you and Coriolanus. Always wearing a nightgown, Coriolanus purchase for you. Looking into the mirror with the rich, satin fabric on your body, hugging your curves and bosom.

He would surprise you with special things mostly material things but you were grateful for them.

He would buy luxurious lingerie and jewelry for you. You were getting ready to meet Coriolanus as he called for you again, wearing the special red lingerie underneath nightgown, you obeyed. Walking down to his chambers, in the end, the precious lingerie was ripped and your nightgown on the floor stained with cum. His hands on your waist as he thrusted into you, he was close and you were already done and tired. His hands explored you, before he spilled himself into you. Pulling himself out of you, your legs were shaking, holding yourself up. Feeling him leaving a kiss on your cheek, he put himself into his pants.

You walked towards your discarded nightgown, taking ahold of the material, and slipping it on. There was a moment of silence between you and Coriolanus. Getting yourself busy, fixing the fabric of the nightgown, pulling it down carefully.

"Wait, Y/N" you turned around at him, "Yes, Corio" you responded, he loved it when you used that nickname with him, he walked forward to you, "Stay" he paused for a minute, "Stay with me for the night" He finishes, your eyes slightly widen. "What if, we were caught?" You whispered, "Nobody could come in without my permission, Y/N" he pushed a strand of your loose hair over your ear, "Just stay" he whispered, his hands trailing down to your waist, rubbing them in reassurance. You cleared your throat, putting your hands on his chest, and parting your lips.

"Alright—I will..."

282 notes · View notes

opbackgrounds · 8 months

Text

So I finished the live action and have taken a little time to get my thoughts together, and I'm very much of two minds about this show. I don't seem to be quite as high on it as some other people and the parts I didn't like I *really* didn't like, but I think the bones of the show are good and that the problems I had could be improved upon in future seasons.

More detailed thoughts under the cut

I've said all along that the live action will need to carve out its own identity if it wants to survive, that it needed not to copy the source material, but rhyme with it.

I feel like the first four episodes do that best. There was a lot to cover in the East Blue, and the more disconnected, episodic nature of the manga wasn't going to work. The solution was to combine and condense the manga content, and then add a significant B plot with the marines to help tie everything together.

The problem I have is that the addition of the marines takes away too much time from the Straw Hats without adding enough to make it worth it in the end. While backstories and story arcs were rushed to hell for our main crew, everything with Garp slogged, with the final payoff being nonsensical and poorly executed. I get what they were trying to do with Garp, shifting from childish temper tantrums to laughing maniacally, but it just doesn't work. Garp just doesn't work. Which is a shame, because I think that the growth for Koby and Helmeppo had a lot of potential and the actors exceeded my expectations. The material they had to work with just wasn't good enough.

Syrup Villiage worked best for me, because of all the arcs in the manga it was the most dragged out and poorly executed. It benefits from being condensed and leaning into the horror vibe over the generic shonen battle of the original was inspired. Plus, it validated my head canon of Kuro poisoning Kaya, which is always a nice feeling.

But even here, there's a knock-on effect of what came before it. Because Shells Town and Orange Town were cut down so drastically, Zoro's backstory and some of Nami's development were kicked on down the line, making Usopp more of a bystander in the arc where he should have shined the brightest. Later on the Baratie, Sanji's inner turmoil and struggle to follow his dream is reduced down to a "hey, the chore boy offered me a job, I'm gonna bounce".

And for what? So we can spend a painfully long scene of Garp eating a fucking steak?

The show needed its original ten episodes of runtime to let the characters just breathe. The chemistry amongst the crew is great, there are cinematic moments that took my breath away, the soundtrack is fire, the fights were enjoyable, and the set design is fantastic, but the depth of the manga is flattened. In the East Blue, every villain--even the shitty ones--acted as double foils. For example, Captain Morgan's narcissism contrasted with Zoro's willingness to throw away his good name in order to follow his dream, where his more villainous nature foiled Koby's heroism. In the show, Morgan barely counts as a villain, with his more disturbing and evocative acts such as telling his subordinates to shoot themselves (and more chillingly, them willing to do it) are cut out entirely, and it makes Garp's decision to later tie him up to the same post as Zoro seem almost insane.

Of all the arcs, Arlong Park left the worst taste in my mouth, which is so frustrating when it's supposed to be the crown jewel of the season. The changes they made to Nojiko are baffling and the one time I honestly don't understand why a change was made. Nami's backstory, the most powerful in the East Blue, was chopped into pieces and condensed so much that I felt nothing when Bellemere died. Luffy's decision to actually listen to Nami's backstory, while it made sense for this version of the character, went so against the spirit of the original that it took me out of the moment, as well as removing one of the aspects that makes Luffy such a unique character in the first place.

And for what, so the season had time to end with Luffy fighting Garp in a hopeless fight, only for Garp to let him go because "it was all a test"? Bullshit. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. The whole point of the East Blue is to establish the Straw Hat Pirates. They shouldn't be playing second fiddle to anyone, let alone this deranged, poorly written version of Garp.

I said that the bones of the show are good, and I stand by that. The Straw Hats are the Straw Hats. The One Piece world is the One Piece world. I do remain hopeful for improvements should there be a season two, because the marine B plot with Smoker is already in the manga, and the overarching story of Alabasta gives the writers the ability to be more flexible with the limited time that they have. I have to believe that it's easier doing one big story over the course of a season than it is trying to shove 5 origin stories into 8 episodes, but I'm not a TV person so I might be wrong.

However, my concern is that in some ways season one benefited from the pandemic. The series was in pre-production for like 7 years, and all the interviews I've read have credited the extra time the series had in the developmental oven for my favorite aspects of the show--particularly the sets. That's not going to necessarily the case going forward, and my worry is if future seasons aren't given the time to get it right that it's all going to fall apart. At the same time they can't wait too long, because that's not how live action works.

The live action isn't a bad show, but it isn't a good show, either. I'm glad that it exists, even if it's only to point back to the original. I wouldn't be devistated if it were cancelled, but would certainly check out season two should it get renewed.

Just, please. No more Garp. I'm begging Matt Owens and Oda himself, please. Just let the man do cool stuff off screen for a couple seasons, and when he's reintroduced pretend all this never happened. Your show will be better for it, I promise.

#opbackgrounds #opla #live action one piece #sarc talks

170 notes · View notes

blackopals-world · 1 year

Text

Strangely Adorable

(???)Yuu and Fyodor Chernousky (parent-child relationship)

Notes:Yuu goes by he/she/it)

Once every millennium it's good to change things up and you never know what you'll find.

Oc: Fyodor Chernousky

@black-kuroba7

Retirement? Lilia? He has a lot of nerve.

Fyodor had been bored to tears since his coworker and drinking buddy left for Night Raven College. All the while he was languishing alone in Her Majesty. Imagine a royal tutor with no one to teach?

True he wasn't trapped but after educating many generations of royal fea he has gotten complacent. Malleus was the most recent in a long line of superior students he was trained.

"I think this is exactly what he needs. Making friends will help him gain confidence." Lilia said black then.

"You'll find that he's quite confident. It's the fault of others because they fear his power. They are simply too weak." Fyodor smirked proudly.

"Sure~ of course you'd say that. After all the only friends you have are already dead. Malleus needs experience with people who still have a pulse." Lilia teased before he jump into the air as a group of black skeletal arm reached from under him and grabbed at his legs to drag him into the black void.

" Well General, please remember that a fight between us will only end in tragedy." Fyodor dispelled the portal.

"Oh, Fyo~ always the charmer. Remember we are still on for drinks tonight." The bat blew a kiss before disappearing to escape his co-worker's wrath.

That damn bat. He always knew how to get under his skin. And now he wants to retire under the claim that "he doesn't have much time left". Like he's an old dog that feels the end coming. Fyodor was twice that bastard's age and was still kicking. Lilia was probably just trying to teach the boys a lesson. Right?

That son of a bitch! He was coming over there and getting a real answer.

Fyodor could pretend he didn't understand and it would certainly be understandable. Keep the stiff upper lip and pretend that he wasn't bored to tears of his current role but he enjoys teaching. But what's teaching without a student and with Malleus already finishing his education Fyodor wouldn't have another student until his highness had a child of his own. Which would be a while knowing how little Malleus knew of romance which Fyodor only had himself to blame.

Stepping on NRC grounds after all these years felt like going back in time. During the golden age when the 7 were just fresh face youths. There he was standing before the young future queen of fea and teaching her hexes worth learning. He remembered how proud he was of her when she created the sleeping curse and how angry he was when it was so easily dispelled by "true love's kiss." How anticlimactic can you get? And how dare that boy molest a girl in her sleep?

Fyodor shook his head, that was the past. He should focus on his mission. Find Lilia, check on the boys, and then curse Lilia for making him come here.

But visiting his old dorm couldn't hurt. I was built in his honor after all. He may have declined his placement among the 7 but he was still a founder of this institution. Phantasmasia was a glorious and spiritual place. The students were lively sorts and the ghosts made for good company and better servants.

Phantasmasia however no longer exists and in its place was a dilapidated building. The garden had withered into dead grass. The cemetery was in disarray and the spirits faded.

Fyodor pushed the creaking door open to examine further. The hairs on the back of his neck rose.

"Master!" Three voices echoed from the below. "You've returned."

Fyodor remembered them, they were the ghosts he bound to this place to serve the students here.

"Master, have you returned to help us?" They asked shuttering.

"Help, yes. This place is clearly in need of it. To treat my dorm like this must mean the headmaster thinks I'm dead. Or at the very least gotten weak." Fyodor examined the sharp black talons that were his nails.

"No, that thing! That monster that lives here!" They said in an undead chorus "Crowley let it in and it's so creepy."

Fyodor quirked a brow, he was rather fond of creepy things. He followed the ghosts to a room upstairs were the thing was. He hoped it might be a new pet and wondered if he could train it to attack the fea general. That would be entertaining.

What he did find was...something. Clearly it was a person. Human? Fea? Phantom?

Whatever it was it was sleeping soundly in a dusty bed.

Upon closer inspection the person was cute. Like a little doll. Their hair was long and black with dark lips, and wispy eyelashes. He-she was sleeping with little care in the world. If a princely bastard came along he doubted that they would hesitate to kiss the sleeping child awake.

This poor child was left in a place like this.

At the thought passed the eyes of the child opened revealing soft ink black pools with shined like obsidian the sun. At least that's what Fyodor thought.

The child looked him with blank eyes before standing up and walking out the door.

"Hey wait!" He called following them as they turned a corner only for them to have disappeared.

Fyodor began trying to track down the young thing. He wanted to know what it was desperately. It was so strange and unsettling and-

"Interesting, like a china doll moving on its own," Fyodor said aloud as he watched it from a distance. The strange little child paid him no mind as they went about their day.

It walked to and from class with hauntingly fluid motions and recited answers in cryptic phrases.

"Time moves strangely, flowing slow and fast all at once, like molasses out of a shotgun. It however shouldn't be tapered with lest the chattering souls gather at the edge of time. " They answered.

"Thank you, Yuu. You're perspective of chronomancy is...enlightening." Trein said.

Fyodor found the answer to be insightful and funny as well as correct. Time travel is best left alone.

Yuu has quite popular too. They had friends and were on good terms with their classmates. But some students didn't like them.

Sure he was no stranger to a good ribbing or fight, it builds character but cowardly snickering is weak. Back in his day you'd duel over such a thing and settle the score. The strong are the only ones who have right to look down on others.

Fyodor laughed to himself. If that little cub heard him now. The true king of beasts was such an upstart as a student.

The teacher had forgotten all about his reason for coming to the school. Yuu was far too entertaining to leave alone.

Yuu wondered in the nearby woods next to Ramshackle as fog gathered at their heels, all the sounds of the forest were silenced in their wake.

"There is nothing more lonely than an action taken quietly on your own, and nothing more comforting than doing that same quiet action in parallel with fellow beings doing the same action, everyone alone next to each other." They said to know one in particular as they walked.

But it was heard by someone in particular and as Fyodor moved to continue following this time not in hiding. As they walked Yuu slowly slowed down to meet up with the fae stalker.

"No blood or iron, why do you shadow my steps like that of a familiar shadow? " Their voice buzzed like static on an old TV.

Fyodor thought for amount what Yuu meant before responding.

"Your right, we aren't related and I don't have any animosity toward you. But I am curious to know what Crowley has housed in my old dorm."

"Your dorm? I hear the hellish chorus below you lapping at your feet. Perhaps it is no surprise that you own such a place." Yuu responded.

" And you sound of nothing. You're steps are muted and everything around you is still. Could you even blow a gust of wind?" He challenged.

The blank expression on Yuu's face shifted to a small smile and little sparks of light like glitter shined in their eyes.

"Cute." Fyodor thought trying to keep a straight face.

This child was too interesting to let go but as all things do Fyodor had to end their exchange. He had business with the headmage. The first order had to be about the shameful upkeep of one of the dorms he was paid to manage, gross negligence of the health and safety of students, harboring a minor or presumed minor without proper documentation, and all the other boring stuff he'd have to go into. Crowley should lose his job honestly but who else is psycho enough to run this school?

Still being given back his dorm was a relief and taking a teaching job here certainly likened up things. To top it all off he has a new ward all to himself. This is if he can get Malleus to leave them alone for once. They are too young to be courting anyway.

And Lilia?

Ehh, who cares.

He can go off and play pretend student or something elsewhere. If he keeps pressuring his kids to flirt with his ward there would be hell to pay. Grandkids be damned.

#(???)!yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #twisted wonderland oc #Fyodor Chernousky #twst lilia #lilia twisted wonderland #lilia vanrouge #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus draconia

149 notes · View notes

dickarchivist · 5 months

Note

Phantom with "Stay with me. Come on, just stay with me" with fem!reader because I love pain 🙃

Worthy of Her Light

Clone OC Phantom × fem!Reader (jedi general, left vague)

Word Count: 807

Prompt: "Stay with me. Come on, just stay with me"

Rating: PG-14 for violence and death and sads, but as always MINORS DNI 🔞

Contents and Warnings: vague war violence, character death (technically its Reader)

Song: Shrike by Hozier (Live at Windmill Lane)

Summary: Phantom loved her. He thought, hoped really, he even had the shot at a future with her. Kids, a pet, a place to call their own... he doesn't think that anymore. He doesn't think he'll ever have it. Because she's gone... how is he supposed to live without her?

Author's Notes: This one is in Phantom's POV because painful. Get those first hand feels. Wanna know why Phantom acts like how he does? His fuckboi origins? Yeah it's sadder than you think.

Thank you @n0vqni for this prompt, and your patience ♡ I hope it's worth the wait.

I had never seen a more beautiful person in all my life. Which, that says something, considering what I look like. When I first saw her, I was still brand new, fresh of the cadet line. Shiny, no scuffs, no paint, no scars... I used to hide behind Wraith, if you can believe that. She'd come around, and I'd duck behind him blushing, too nervous to even say hi.

"You're Phantom, right?"

I'd just gotten my name, I wasn't even used to it yet, I was so surprised she knew it. So she waits while I'm lookin around for whoever the fuck "Phantom" is before I jump, go, "Kriff, that's me! Uh, yeah, 1404, Phantom now, I guess."

I think the worst thing about all this, is I never got her name. When she held out her hand, saying who she was, I was too focused on how soft she was... her hands were soft. So warm and gentle, but a firm handshake. I thought to myself "you'll hear it again, someone else will say it. You'll hear it again."

Everyone called her "General", damn title. "Yes ser." Damn formalities. I asked Specs once, he knows everyone's names, real good about it, but he just laughed at me. Said something witty, he's good like that, but... I don't remember what he said anymore. We lost her that day.

I lost her that day. That's all I remember, the fear, the pain...

General Valka, it was the first battle I'd seen him bare his fangs in. We'd been in scraps before, but this one was a full out bloodbath. First time I was scared of him. He snarled, looked at me with those piercing eyes, and growled, "Find her." Over the roar of artillery fire.

In my gut, I already knew. I knew it was too late. I... I couldn't tell you how I found her. None of it makes any sense, even today... Athena swears it was the force guiding me, but clones, we don't... that's not what this is about. It's about her.

Another medic from the 418th was there, he was trying to patch her up, but... but that's hard to do when there's not much left. I yanked off my helmet and threw it forward so I could retrieve it easier.

Her laugh, fuck... fuck I miss it so much. She laughed when my helmet landed beside her, "So dramatic! Acting like you're- ah- you're seeing someone die for th-the first time."

"You're not! You're not, just-- just stay with me, okay? Stay, please? Please... stay with me, come on..."

The medic gave her a shot, quick with a med gun, and I knew what it was immediately. Heavy sedative and a pain killer. There was nothing he could do for her. He left.

"You should get out of here too, you know. The Republic won't like it if their prettiest clone gets blown up in the mud with one of their generals... Tommy, you have to go."

"No." My voice was strained, I held her hand as she placed it on my cheek, "No, I-- I love you, I love you, so I'm not leaving. I'll never--"

"What's my name?"

Her smile was so soft. She knew I didn't know it... she was trying to get me to give up on her. Give me a hall pass, let me leave her there like I would a stranger... "Your name is mine... you're name is the sound of my heart beat when I see you in anywhere. That feeling of nerves in my stomach when I hear you laugh. That kiss I stole in the 'fresher that morning after we-"

"Tommy," her thumb ran over my lips, and I could taste her blood. She smiled at me, pulled me down to kiss her again, one more time. She put her other hand on my chestplate pushing her lightsaber for me to take as whispered against my lips, "I loved you, too... don't stay..."

She died there. I couldn't leave her, I refused. I wrapped when remained of her in her jedi robes, and I carried her back to base. We were there for 15 more days, I don't know what became of her body. General Valka said she was transferred to her home planet, but I couldn't tell you which one it was...

I couldn't tell you anything about her, other than I loved her. I loved her, I begged her to stay, I lost her, and she's gone.

Dax'Malkin told me to keep her light saber. I hope someday I'll be able to turn it on for myself, to see the glow of the golden light blade. When I remember her name, I'll be worthy of that light. I'm told the force can hear us, so, if you're listening...

I love you, still.

Tag List for the babes:

32 notes · View notes

yannysif · 9 months

Text

Sooo I know I disappeared for a bit again, but this time I was basically doing my own shonen protagonist training arc - been consuming a TON of tutorials and practicing in general, only a few of them are even remotely worth sharing, like this one! I'm not very happy with it, but at the same time, I put in too much effort to let it go to waste so I thought, why not attach a drabble with this because I need to practice my writing alongside my art too..

And so here's a short story of sorts that would take place in the prologue (it won't be exactly like this in-game since I'll have choices and variations to incorporate) hope you enjoy!

"Would you like to dance?"

You look at Lucien as if he's grown an extra head, as he extends his hand to you, waiting. The two of you were taking a stroll in his gardens after dinner, and you were in-between feeling at peace in the environment, and incredibly nervous as you were walking alongside Lucien Lockhart, trying to wrap your head around the fact that he was no longer just your favorite character beyond a screen, he was living, breathing, right next to you, you.

You were quietly taking in the foliage under the moonlight, reveling in the novelty of it, never having had the chance to see such a gorgeous garden at night (but really, everything was new when you were in an entirely different world) when he sprung the question on you.

You could feel his quiet amusement to your reaction, as you stare holes into the palm of his hand, wondering if it was worth taking it, to risk making a completely fool out of yourself in the process, in front of him, and so soon after meeting him? No, you couldn't-

"You are always welcome to say no, please don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to."

Doesn't that just lay on the pressure even more!? But as you look at him and his gentle expression, like you could do no wrong, it felt easier to go along with it. And the moment you placed your hand in his, you felt it was the right choice seeing his face light up from that action alone.

He gently pulls you into position, one hand still holding yours, the other on your waist. He looked for all the world, content, as if it was enough for him just to hold you, have you near. He gives you one last questioning look, silently asking if it's alright to keep going. You can't back out now; you give him a nod, not trusting your voice.

It took all of 2 seconds to step on his foot. Oh this was a terrible idea what were you thinking-

You were brought out of your down-spiral by the sound of your name, prompting you to look up, at his face, his ever present smile when he's near you, immediately providing you with reassurance.

"Don't overthink it, just trust me."

Trust him.

Wasn't that a lot to ask from someone who's practically a stranger? But then again, maybe you weren't. After all, the two of you knew about the other this whole time, when you assumed it was a one-way street. In fact, you think he knows you better (knows you well, too well) than most of the people in your life. You could see it in all the little considerations he made for you in your short time together.

So you couldn't help but want to trust him.

You take a deep breath to ground yourself, and as you do, you could hear music drifting in the air, faint, but present. It was from the musicians Lucien had hired to play during dinner (to welcome you, he explained, when you said it was a bit too much fanfare for someone like you. He promises the next dinner onward would be simpler, for you. You couldn't help but feel a little wonder, at the assured promise of future dinners spent together, like it was only natural.)

So they were still playing, you hadn't noticed from your nervousness, but it made it feel a little less awkward to have some music to dance to.

You set your shoulders, resolute, as you gaze back at Lucien. He gives you a knowing smile, and begins to move again.

Trust him.

And so you do. You let yourself loosen up, trusting him to lead, to go where he pushed and pulled. It takes a moment, but soon the two of you fall into a rhythm, dancing to the music, and soon everything else fell away. You couldn't help the smile that tugged at your lips; you were doing it, you were dancing! And when Lucien smiles back at you, eyes filled with nothing but pride and admiration for you, you could feel happiness swell from within you.

"I'm going to spin you, ok?"

The next moment, he gently pulls your arm up and leads you in a twirl, and you couldn't help but feel a little silly(a little giddy) as you enact a scene you could only imagine before.

"Once more"

That was all the warning you get when this time, he lets go of your hand to instead place both on your waist. You couldn't help the gasp ripped out of you when he lifts you for a spin, impossibly stronger than he appeared, but soon devolved into delighted laughter as you grab his shoulders, weightless in the air.

You've never felt freer than you did at this moment.

#that ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would #when am I going to actually put this stuff in the game hahaha... but in other news the demo will be longer than I originally planned #I am planning some things!!#but I can't really say anything until I've solidified stuff because of how notoriously flaky my adhd makes me #now I hope you dont mind as I go back into my cave to continue my “training”#isekai'd into the arms of a yandere duke #yanduke #lucien lockhart #yanduke lucien #yanduke art #yanduke writing #yandere vn

53 notes · View notes

otherworldseekers · 7 months

Text

6.x msq thoughts

I've seen a lot of negativity about the 6.x msq series. So let me just say to begin with that I've really loved it. No, it's no ShB or even EW. It's not supposed to be. It's an interlude between stories (a filler arc one could say, but I would insist not in a negative sense) and as such it perfectly serves its purpose.

We'd dealt with the situation on the First. For balance, it was important to deal with the situation on the Thirteenth as well. A true resolution to the Ascian plot required we do something about it. Not to mention that the game has been trickling details about the Void throughout the story since the beginning of ARR (at least, I never played 1.0) and there are a lot of fans with a keen interest in it.

And the story was beautifully written to flow naturally from the themes of Endwalker. Not only did it give us some needed insight into the mind of Zenos through Zero but using Zenos' avatar to go on a journey from deepest despair to burgeoning hope makes Zenos' fate even more poignant.

Perhaps some might feel that the story of finding hope from despair to be repetitive after EW, but that wasn't my experience. Because EW is the journey of our WoL finding that light in the darkness, but 6.x was Zero's story. Personally, I adore Zero. She is both like and unlike my WoL. Severia also began her story from a place of despair and eventually found hope and happiness through the people who believe in her. But this time she gets to help someone else through that journey, someone completely void of hope. And I felt that it was a very positive and affirming experience for my WoL. And in general I think that the message that there is always hope even in the blackest darkness is one that can't be repeated too often.

Another thing that I think was extremely well done, was the consideration the story showed for the victims of trauma due to the game's story. This is something stories with large world-altering events often seem to overlook. That survival isn't the end. That the people who experienced the wars and the Final Days and other dramatic events have to live with not just the physical fallout, but the mental health repercussions as well. And the heroes can't just go around doing whatever they want without considering the ramifications on regular people and still be heroes. Obviously the game hasn't always been good at this. But these patches and the way they considered even the trauma of the Garlean survivors really gives me hope for the future storytelling of the game.

The worldbuilding done with the Void itself has been really fascinating as well. The realization that the cycle of life and death is completely broken there paints such an interesting picture. And of course allows us to get to know someone who was there thousands of years ago when the world fell to darkness. As usual, I could have done with 10 times the amount of information we got, but I realize they need to balance the story for people who aren't lore fanatics as well. I would love to know absolutely everything about the Contramemoria. In particular, the dungeon this patch gave us such a tantalizing view of what things were like back then. I really loved it.

About Golbez. I think that his arc was, overall, worth it. To be fair, I think it could have been paced better. It really only came to fruition in this patch, but I enjoyed the result. I will never not get emotional over stories of failed heroes. People who tried so hard and did everything right but still failed. It's different than Ardbert's because Ardbert never actually was a villain the way Golbez is. It may have been corny, but I really liked how Zero extended her hand in friendship and was able at last to convince Golbez to try again together. Golbez (Durante) went wrong when he lost his friend, his support. None of us can be our best selves without the support of people who believe in us. Friendship is magic and the older I get the more I like seeing stories where friendship changes people and makes the world better.

As for the implication that Golbez (the real one) was an Azem shard... I think it was purposefully left vague so that we can still interpret it how we want to. Durante sees Golbez in the WoL, but there could be other reasons for that. You don't have to make it canon for your OC.

I also think it's ok that we didn't save the Thirteenth during these patches. Zero and Golbez deserve the chance to right their failures and bring hope and light to the shard themselves. I really, really hope the story will check in on them in the future and we'll see the the Void become full of life again. But I wouldn't be surprised if it takes a long time.

Overall, I found the story to be both compelling and satisfying as an in between tale. Am I excited to move on to bigger things? Absolutely. But I have been entertained and Zero is a character I won't soon forget.

#Patch 6.5 #6.5 spoilers #Endwalker spoilers #msq thoughts

13 notes · View notes

paramorearchived · 22 days

Text

June 23, 2013

Transcript:

what's cooler than being cool?

..... being yourself. That's what.

I was just thinking the other day... Looking at random blogs, fashion sites, online zines... and I got sad. Mostly because I feel like a lot of the different subcultures that exist today, exist because at some point there was someone who felt like they didn't fit in. (Stay with me.)They had a movement of their own to live for. So they did and maybe at some later point, it caught on or somebody else felt like they could fight for those same things. Maybe it wasn't even a "fight", maybe it was just a way of living. Marching to the beat of their own drum. My Granny always told my sisters and I from a very young age... "You girls just march to a different beat". I didn't really get it back then and honestly, I'm glad I didn't because when I was that young I didn't see the point in pointing out people's differences. It was just a way of living. Still is, I suppose. Or at least, I hope.

I do get it though and I see it in other people now... mostly young people. My sisters, for sure. But in a lot of our fans, as well. Again, mostly in the younger ones. Cause when we're just young enough, we're not yet jaded or bothered by what's "cool". We're not quite as worried about fitting into some of society's little cliques or sub-genres of human beings. So, we just do whatever comes naturally to us. Funny how there's an entire part of our culture completely obsessed with youth and beauty - yet we forget the most essential ingredient to youthfulness is that clean slate, non-judgemental, wide-eyed curiosity. You can't be sold any of that.

Anyway, I got sad because within these subcultures and an entirely new breed of "too-cool kids"... there are likely some people who, at some point, didn't fit in, weren't "normal", and probably needed somewhere to go to feel like they could fully express themselves. I see it everywhere. These are the nerds from junior high that got bullied everyday but then ended up in a band and now they've turned their old loser status into a trophy of pretentiousness to beat everyone over the head with. The guys and girls who wouldn't be caught dead in a regular old mall where they once probably got made fun of for what they were wearing... but are now wearing unique and fun brands like UNIF or Lazy Oaf (which, to be extra clear, I love) and calling everyone else "basic". I'm just saying, why doesn't the cycle end with the people who should've learned their lesson? Why aren't the once regarded weirdos and freaks raising up a new generation of people who are more self-assured in their individuality? Why does it seem like some of the strange ones found their bit of success and now look down on anyone else who doesn't look, think, or have the way they do? It's like seniors who constantly give sophomores a hard time as if they weren't just sophomores themselves like 3 years ago. I was not the most popular person in school. And even when I did have friends I still felt a bit like a weirdo. I'm not threatened by that... It's something that I hope to encourage other people with. That's a huge part of the message behind Paramore. To lift up the people who feel ashamed that they're different. To tell them that that's probably the coolest part about them.

At this very moment, at 24 years old, sitting here in sweats and looking/feeling utterly disastrous (hey, i got my rights)... I have to say, I'm really proud that as a kid I never felt like I fit in with the popular crowd. And as an adult, I don't feel like I fit in with the self-righteously uncool crowd either. Honestly, it's nice to be on a real quest to just be me everyday. No matter what. It doesn't matter if I'm in Silverlake, CA - land of the upturned noses - or back home in Nashville. Doesn't matter if we're on a red carpet. I guess I just couldn't care less. I'm not saying it's always easy but it's always worth it to stay true to you.

If anything, this could be a Back To The Future type of warning, to anybody who cares enough about this post, that high school ends but it never actually ends. There will still be people around who try to point at you and laugh. Who think you're not on some tip like they are. Who feel like their job, their shoes, their money, their boyfriend or girlfriend, their lifestyle ... is on some level that you haven't even ever heard of. The truth is that no one else could live your life. Nobody else - man or woman - could wake up and put on your shoes in the morning. Nobody else could pull it off. So own that. Cool is a lie. Cool doesn't matter and it never did. Merely perception.

In conclusion, you are your own torch carrier. Don't let anybody steal your light. Wear what you want. Think how you want. Challenge normal. And yes, even challenge what's "cool".

In total conclusion... We're really excited to be posting the video for "Anklebiters" in a couple of days. This is not an official single release, this is just a video we wanted to have done because of what the song has come to mean for our band. Thanks to all the people who came up on stage with us over the last tour and a half and sang it with us. This song is our way of contributing to the art of self-love and self-acceptance, no matter the odds.

We love you guys and we love you most when you're being yourself.

xxxxx h

#paramore #hayley williams #2013 #self titled #livejournal

5 notes · View notes

sysmedsaresexist · 7 months

Note

Why should I bother healing? I mean what awaits past the pain and sorrow? Feeling lightly better? I can just chase dopamine till I'll die and still have a good enough life

I feel like I know who this is, we have an unfinished conversation, don't we?? I still have your last reply and the start of my post in my drafts, waiting for me to find words that would help. If it's not you, I hope that user sees this, as well.

Friendo, don't let your current dumb feelings and silly brain get in your way of your future

Extreme positivity ahead

Fuck around on this post and find out

-the kids these days, probably

On a very serious note, I think we've all been there, where it just feels so goddamn pointless and you're so tired. Trauma survives long after the events that caused it, digging its claws into every aspect of your life-- even the parts that seemed unrelated and safe.

I can't give you the best advice because I don't know your full situation-- age, living arrangements, financial situations, education, all of that changes the conversation, but I'm going to try to give you a general bit of hope

Age and time helps

Even mental illness tends to improve with age.

As you get older, the brain naturally settles into a (generally) calmer, happier state. I promise you, with all the sincerity and genuineness in the world, even if you did nothing, in five years you'll still feel better than you do right now.

Yes, even dissociative disorders. (PDF)

Don't be so hard on yourself.

This won't apply to everyone, obviously there is a problem with mental health in aging populations, but... don't think that's the norm, or something to be expected, and you've already taken the biggest step by noting your mental health struggles early on. One of the biggest reasons that there is a problem in seniors is because there was very little early detection, and talking about mental health was seen as taboo. You're halfway there.

And as you experience more happiness and things just feel calmer, making positive changes becomes easier, especially as more opportunities open to you every year. So.

Looking back, I think my biggest mistake was looking at myself as I was, and looking at where I wanted to be-- or, more often, what I thought everyone else was. Happy, composed, financially successful, intelligent, popular.

And good god, I felt lazy. I wasn't chronically fatigued, I was lazy, I convinced myself.

Eventually, I started looking at smaller parts of my life and tried to make tiny, easy improvements, rather than anything big.

And with each tiny improvement, and with each year, I started to feel like it was worth it. And like I deserved to have a life I was happy with, whether that met anyone else's expectations or not.

Look, I don't know what kind of crack my grandmother was on, but I couldn't keep a house like that. She had six kids and a job back in the 60s, and even at nearing 85 she would still get on her hands and knees and wash the floor. That place was always immaculate.

And that's just unrealistic. And unnecessary.

My mother was the polar opposite, and I grew up in a hoarding situation.

When I finally got out on my own, it took a while to figure it out, but I settled somewhere in the middle. The idea of keeping the house as clean as my grandmother made me want to actually off myself. I am not exaggerating. The idea was daunting and terrified me. I would rather lay down and give up than find the energy.

But the closer I got to my mother's situation, the more I hated myself, because look at how gross I was.

Here's the truth:

Fuck. Everyone.

Seriously. I swear to god, one day, a lightbulb is just going to go off, and you'll realize that you never should have cared in the first place what other people thought or expected.

My home is crowded but cozy. I no longer look around feeling overwhelmed and disgusted with myself. I do what I can and I celebrate every little step.

It's my home and I'm happy with it, and that is the only thing that matters.

Life is like my house. Live it only for yourself, and do what you can. Celebrate all of the things you do, regardless how small.

Even if you did nothing, it's still going to get better.

Imagine how much EXTRA better you can make it if you just take it in tiny, tiny steps.

Like exponential growth of better.

Feeling just slightly better today makes tomorrow feel better, and the day after that, and the day after that.

Plus, think of all the (insert animal you love) that'll you'll see.

#suicide mention #tw #positivity #ptsd #depression #anxiety #did #OSDD

14 notes · View notes

sopebubbles · 5 months

Note

Hi darling, I read what you posted about your health and the future of Lone Wolf. I'm not here to tell you to write another chapter or anything, I actually want to share something with you that helped me a lot during a time when I was feeling bad physically in a general way.

Based on personal experience, I highly recommend you to stop eating gluten. Whether your health is being tarnished by it or not, it can hugely impact your lifestyle by leaving it out of your diet. It could also help the medications you are taking to make an even bigger effect on your body.

I don't want to brag about me, but I deem it important to share my experience with you and hopefully it can help you start improving your health.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, I started to notice a regression on my period. I also began feeling nauseous and with high migraines that would make me lay in bed unwillingly. I had to take homeopathy to force my uterus to help me menstruate but once I finished the bottle of medicine, my period would be gone too. The headaches and nausea didn't disappear, at all.

It wasn't until August of this year that my mum, (may she be blessed) told me to stop eating anything with high amounts of gluten, like bread, cake and pasta. Darling, I guarantee you that that Saturday was the first day in three years since I felt "normal" again.

I haven't eaten gluten since then and I have felt way better than months ago.

Sorry for rambling but it pains me to hear you that you are suffering, specially with your health.

This is my case, I am not assuming yours is the same as mine but I highly recommend you to try.

I have found multiple products that are gluten free and are not that expensive as I thought they were.

I discovered my gluten intolerance after three years of feeling like absolute shit. I only hope this can help you, I usually don't share this with anyone as I don't like reminiscing those months when I tired, sleepy, nothing was appetizing to me, my hormones were all over the place. I wasn't living, I was merely surviving.

Take care, and I really wish you would give it a try. You have a beautiful soul and an incredible mind full of amazing stories and plots that need to be known You have a lot to experience and many things yet to see. You have a gift with words and I can tell you have a really big heart.

I wish you the best and I apologise if this was tedious to read. I only wanted to give you a piece of advice and remember we, as ARMY support each other. We are not just a fandom, we are family of the purple blood.

May you have a blessed day and your health may be restored as soon as possible :)

~Rosie 💜

Hi Rosie! Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I'm sure you are probably right about the gluten thing, but it's one of those things i simply cant resign myself to. I have a hard enough time with food, the idea of cutting out wheat products when I dont like the taste of alternatives just makes me want to cry. Doesnt seem like a life worth living if theres no bread in it.

Sorry it took me so long to reply to this. Im low key really bad at taking unsolicited advice. Im an aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, so i just cant stand it. But i know you meant well and i appreciate your care. Hope you have a great day 💜

#Rosie 🌹#sopebubbles 🧼

9 notes · View notes

fight-the-corn · 1 year

Text

Avengers x soulmate reader chapter eight

AN: I'm sorry I've been gone for so long! I'm finally back! I'm hoping to post a couple updates soon, but idk how motivated I'll be! Merry Christmas everyone!

Tw:abuse!

You had been living with the Avengers for almost a week, wearing Natasha's clothes. Tony had told you in private that there was no reason for you to go back to your house, and it had been tempting to try. Unfortunately, you had some keepsakes that were very important to you and you had to go back and get them, or you would never rest easy. Little things like photos with your old friends that you could never forget were worth the world to you.

Today was the day you decided to go. Tony insisted on coming with you, because what kind of a soulmate would be be if he let his little soulmate into a place that would traumatize her with one wrong move alone? He had agreed not to take any of the other Avengers, just telling them you and he were going out.

Arriving at your house, you took a deep breath.

"Tony is here. I am safe. He won't let me get hurt.". You repeated to yourself over and over, convincing yourself it was true as you walked up to the front door. You raised your hand to knock, took a deep breath, glanced back at Tony who have you a reassuring smile from the bottom of the steps, then knocked there times.

You heard footsteps, before the door was thrown open.

"Finally decided you were good enough for this family huh? Get in here.". Your father grabbed your wrist and roughly dragged you into the room. Within 3 seconds, he was pinned on the wall with Tony's hand on his throat.

" You don't get to touch her like that. You show her the respect that she deserves. Clear? " Tony wasn't planning on taking any shit from your dad.

"And who might you be?" Your father growled. " has the little whore finally gotten someone to hire her? She's an annoying little slut, don't you think? "

"I'd say nice to meet you, but that would be as far from the truth as possible. My name is Tony Stark, and I am her soulmate. She is not a 'little whore' or a 'slut' and I would advise you against referring to her as such in the future. We will grab her things, then be out of your hair for the rest of your lives, so let her get her things without a problem and I won't hurt you.

"But why do you want her? Have you seen her?" Your mom asked. "I mean, you're Tony Stark, you can get any hot model or woman in general! Why would you want this girl, with flab and frizzy hair? "

Instead of responding to her, Tony turned to you. "Go grab whatever you want princess, i'll chat with your parents."

You nodded, and within ten minutes you had your bag packed and ready to go, leave this life forever. You were holding back tears, anxious that your parents had finally made him see that you weren't worth it.

However, when you walked in the room, you were surprised to see Tony standing with his arms crossed and your parents looking... Guilty?

You looked at him and nodded that you were ready to go and he silently guided you out. You made it to the car and got situated while he started driving before asking him.

"Hey Tony?"

" yeah princess? "

"What did you and my parents talk about?"

" I just told them the truth. You are a wonderful girl who is very loved in her new home, and they had no right to treat you how they did. I told them that they had wasted all the years they had had with you and it's possible that they would never see you again. I told them that you had finally found a place where you were valued and I hope that they regret their past actions. "

You didn't know how to respond. Your eyes started to fill with tears of happiness and love, feeling like the most special girl in the world to have lucked out with these soulmates.

Tony pulled you out of your thoughts. "Was that ok? Did I cross a line? I'm sorry princess."

You shook your head. "I love you Tony ." you said. " thank you. "

"Of course baby. Anything for you.". He kissed your head , and the rest of the drive home was quiet.

#the avengers #avengers x reader #bucky x reader #steve x reader #tony stark #mcu #marvel #tony x reader #natasha x reader #Tw:abuse

55 notes · View notes

lunanovakat · 5 months

Text

Sneak Peek of a Future Project

This is barely even half of this first chapter and it keeps growing... I wanted to share the rough draft before it gets too big and seven-years pass before it's one day uploaded.

I've just been so in love with Marvel/DC crossovers lately, I have so many DC or Marvel crossovers tbh, and honestly I have so many WIPs that leaking peeks of them are probably how half of them are going to be able to see the light of day.

Feel free to pester me in curiosity bc I'd love to rant about my never-ending list of work and maybe also use them as an excuse to not feel hella stressed.

Still thinking of a name for it, so we'll see how that comes out.

Sandman's in jail for the millionth time - exhausting as always but worth it - the general destruction the man was known for having been kept to a minimum, thankfully, and Spider-Man waved away by shifting cops who aren't really sure how to treat the hero-framed villain-vigilante. And it's nice, even if he's going home to a too cramped one room apartment he could barely even afford without any friends or family to make him think life was worth living.

Something under his skin mourned his life - maybe grieving with him, it was a funny thought considering no one knew who Peter Parker was anymore and anyone who would've had moved on to better things or died.

His chest aches - he pushes it down, he has the funny feeling Mr. Falcon was disappointed in him.

Has a funny feeling several heroes he knows or knew were slightly disappointed in him for some reason, and the thought of them made the gaping void in his chest twinge-

Actually, his chest is aching, painfully, enough that Peter cringes and tries to swing towards a roof to check if he received a wound he hadn't noticed - something like Mr. Dr. Strange panicky and worried about magic as Peter's spidey-sense screams like a Banshee. His hand phases through his web, not misses or is unable to reach, the web phases right through his hand mid-swing and he starts to fall - and fall -

And fall.

New York dusk, a colorful kaleidoscope of faint smog and red-orange-yellow, turns into a darkly dreary cloudy smog filled night, but Peter's head hits concrete and all he knows is unconsciousness.

He doesn't wake up for three days - he doesn't feel as human when he wakes up either.

The first thing he realizes, brain melting out of his ears and his organs humming, is that he's not in New York anymore.

He's not even in the same dimension.

"Um.. Excuse me?" A young, familiar voice whispers to her - a voice she's heard on patrol since she'd been a child, again and again - and it has Barbara already rolling her eyes at Dick's antics before she even knew what they'd be - always a bother and a brother, and great at doing both.

She loved him, she did, too much blood spilt for the other for either of them to ever be anything less than family with one another but she was busy and, unless Dick had coffee and some good news, she wasn't really in the mood for one of his playful 'cheer-up' schemes. Dick would understand, obviously, once she had a chance to explain herself and relax when the livelihoods of others weren't actively hanging over her head but she was wrung thin for the moment.

"Not now, Dick - you know B wants this report tonight." They needed to find the missing teens and they needed to find them quickly, they'd already found too many bodies already. And still no reason as to why, which might bother her just as much as the death toll.

Half of her suspects magic, the other half of her hopes it's just a new killer hoping to make a name - either way Barbara is tired and the deaths are wearing away her conscience.

Barbara expects a gusty sigh, or an audible cringe, something so like Dick that her tension melts away and she, for a moment, is able to relax in the presence of family she knows will look out for her - instead, horrifyingly, she's met with a quietly stuttered out, "Oh.", and she snaps her head up to find the wide-eyed baby-face of a child looking back at her.

One that looks so much like the Dick she grew up with, had worked as Batgirl with, that Barbara feels winded for a few seconds and unable to restart her brain.

"Sorry," The boy starts after an awkward bit of silence, "I didn't - I'm sorry for bothering you." And he goes to turn away, shoulders high and anxious, and she can't let that happen.

"No!" Barbara snaps quickly, cringing at the flinch the boy offers her action in return - god, he was like a skittish pre-teen version of Dick, except his hair and eye-color were wrong - sitting up as straight as she could and plastering on an apologetic smile, "I'm sorry - really - I thought you were a friend of mine named Dick."

There's a dark, ugly purple bruise on the kid's cheek and Barbara feels sort of sick noticing it. And the darker, spotted with irritated red, bruises she can see under the collar of the kid's rough looking shirt that climb up his neck like he had been strangled don't make her feel any better. Something sits, angry, in her gut at both being on a poor kid that looked like Dick got frisky with a brunette without protection - and, well, just a small kid to begin with.

God, had Dick had a secret child? No. That couldn't be...

But maybe he had - Dick had had a wild series of flings when he was eighteen and the kid looked like he was around ten.

If she wanted to stretch it, she could say he was ten through thirteen - or, maybe, fourteen or fifteen but really young looking, but he looked too young to just look young.

"Like Tom, Dick, and Harry?" The kid asks, still tense and awkward but trying to ease himself into a false sense of comfort, offering Barbara a smile that's too much like Dick's it makes her heart squeeze with how out of place the kid looks like he feels.

With how out of place it looks on someone who isn't Dick.

"Exactly, kiddo." Barbara confirms, a flicker of amusement at the boy's disgruntled look stoking a warmth to replace the heaviness in her gut, and she motioned towards the phone on the desk next to her, "A friend of mine said he planned on dropping by soon - since it's so late, I assumed you were him. I've just been so busy with my second job that I didn't realize the person speaking to me didn't have the same voice as my friend - Dick'll have a field day with that, but I'm not going to tell him."

By now, the kid was relaxed - still tense in a way that made her heart ache and something angry and hot want to crawl up her spine, but far more relaxed since she accidentally insulted him. He still looked too much like Dick that her mind was trying to connect the two and was short-circuiting when no leads or explanations came up for her to grapple around with.

Barbara had been there for Dick whenever a pregnancy scare or scam happened to him, knew almost every past flame Dick had as much as she didn't want to, but she knows there had to be an explanation. A piece to the puzzle was missing or she was overlooking something, and she couldn't let the kid leave just yet without a possible answer to her question - for all she knew, some past flame had been severely unhinged and stole a used condom or something, stranger things had happened.

"Now that that's out of the way - sorry, again - what can I help you with?" She smoothly added on, still keeping up her friendly smile to the mini-me of her best friend, "If you're looking for a specific book or curious about what our library has to offer, you can ask me any question you'd like."

Mini-Dick, because he looks so much like him - so terrifyingly identical in a way she nearly thinks cloning at first, but then saw the lighter skin and the warm brown eyes and the dark brown hair and way his jaw curved more upwards instead of staying in Dick's diamond cut - and she doesn't know his name, flushes slightly when he offers her a wider and relieved smile. It's Dick's smile, the way it crinkles a dimple in one cheek and not the other and makes the kid twinge his nose just a little as his eyes squint and his brow-bridge twitches, and it takes Barbara's breath away.

If this kid wasn't Dick's son, she'd fight condiment king in her civilian clothes without a single complaint for a month. Cloning would make the kid more similar to Dick, only minor patches in Dick's genetic code needing to be corrected with someone else's, and even if someone knew that Dick was Nightwing there wasn't anything overly impressive in Dick's DNA to make him worth cloning.

It could be a ploy to get to Bruce, as Batman, but something in the bottom of her lungs told her the kid was too genuine and too skittish to be some sort of plant - Dick's smile altered enough, nose twitching the wrong way and the outer corner of his eyes crinkling more than the inner unlike Dick's that did both equally, the kid could claim it as his own. Alike but different, not a replica but just how the kid was.

"Oh, thanks - I, um, I was wondering where the public computers are?" The kid starts, a tension in his frame leaving in minutiae milliseconds, the shape of Dick's eyes warming like the honey-brown of his irises, "And, uh, if you had anymore of those 'Welcome to Gotham City' pamphlets? A.. Nice lady at the diner nearby said there was one…"

Dick's kid - because it has to be his son, not a brother or cousin or clone when he looks so much like Dick but different too, and so distantly like Dick's parents who she's seen photos of mixed with pieces of some people else - shifts on his feet, small and awkward and wary, and Barbara's heart all but shatters in her chest at the realization the kid is running from something. No one came to Gotham willingly, and never with a good and happy reason either, add in the bruises she can see as plain as day all over the kid -

The tip of a thick scar, jagged and crude, peeks from the collar of his shirt when leans in on himself a little too much - hiding himself, hoping he'd be small enough no one spots him, shifting on his feet silently and waiting to flee, aware of his surroundings but pretending not to be-

Barbara knows a kid in a bad situation when she sees one - she feels like crying at seeing Dick looking so small and wary and scared, even if the kid was pretending he wasn't. Trying to hide his wariness as much as possible instead of focusing on Barbara, a known friend of Dick and the Oracle, pretending he was okay even when he wasn't - either he was a kid who was really just running, the greatest actor she's ever seen, or a kid being used and terrified of it.

He was so tiny, either way.

She could barely breathe, he was too tiny.

#writing #marvel #dc comics #marvel/dc #spiderman #peter parker #barbara gordon #'dick grayson is DC richard parker' my beloved #spiderman in dc is just adoption bait supreme #i am suckerpunching the batfam in the gut with peter's presence #batfam #batman #peter is going to go through it #i am not nice to my muses #will this be edited and made longer? yes...#why? i have no control over myself #rough draft

10 notes · View notes

seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 1 year

Note

Hey sea! Can you please give me the interpretations on each song from FITF?

Hi there!

I was looking at the FITF tracklist again, and something struck me that other people have mentioned but which didn’t really crystallize in my mind before. But this post made me realize that something really snapped in Louis’ mind during the pandemic.

In Louis’ Alt Press interview, he said, “I wondered if this was going to be my narrative for the rest of my life, where I'm just constantly frustrated that life wasn't dealing me the hand that I wanted.”

Louis talked about a few factors motivating him, and once he got started with writing Faith In The Future, things went really quickly. He got most of the songs done within 3-4 months of writing. The factors were:

1. Being able to sell 160k livestream tickets: he realized that he could “do this at a high fucking level.”

2. The influence of John Frusciante and Red Hot Chili Peppers, whose Live at Slane Castle documentary Louis watched FIVE times. Frusciante had left RHCP during a period of personal struggle, only to return to the band while making solo albums over 32 years. 5x is an obsession.

3. Moving away from the heavy, confessional balladry of Walls toward the lighter, more dynamic stage-driven Faith In The Future. Louis not only felt that he could do it (“Self-doubt, worry and a lack of confidence have, at times, plagued Tomlinson”), but that he DESERVES it. Louis feels his worth. The boosted confidence injects wry humor into much of FITF: despite the heavy themes, the album is ticklish with laughter.

So, just keeping this in mind, I realized that the songs on FITF generally had a theme of Louis’ saying, “You can’t have me anymore.”

In Walls, Louis was writing about going through a breakup, feeling forlorn and lonely (Only The Brave), wishing for reconciliation (Always You) and begging for love (Defenceless). Being alone was something he was afraid of, something that made him feel darkness and insecurity. Even when Louis was reconciled to being alone and trying to be brave about it (Walls, Fearless, Copy of a Copy of a Copy), there was still a feeling that he was responsible. Maybe he was not worthy of love. He woke alone with the same “problems under the sheets.” He had been Too Young. He was addicted to a Habit that had long ago stopped giving him happiness. Louis’ reaction to the pain: Kill My Mind.

In a way, he was working through the stages of grief (many types), but hadn’t really made it through depression.

In FITF, Louis’ attitude has flipped a switch. He is no longer scared or insecure. Louis has become aware that he’s amongst The Greatest. He knows that his journey is worthwhile; he can build his life for his own happiness, and he will no longer beg ex-lovers or any lovers. Whoever wants to come along with him is Lucky to be on this trip. There’s a feeling of light, wind, openness, amplitude, a hope for Paradise, the relief that he can look at any thoughts of suicide in the rearview mirror with gratitude for having survived, a grace and delicacy to his spirit, a distancing from personal anguish. On this album, Louis is nonchalant, effortlessly cool, calm, mature, sexy. It’s what makes him irresistible in every recent photo, and what gives his Instagram selfies an elegant, feline quality. Louis has defined success and peace on his terms, and love seems both sadder but also more attainable, calmer, warmer, because Louis loves himself more.

For Louis’ Track By Track explanations, you can read them here. These are my interpretations.

The Greatest: I’m never going to be in the cold again. We will never see the setbacks we saw in the past. No one will make us disappear again.

Written All Over Your Face: these petty fights are stupid. Whenever you feel like it, you can find me on the other side waiting. And by the way, both your anger and your desire for me are written on your face.

Bigger Than Me: I needed a bigger perspective. Time gave me a chance to rethink.

Lucky Again: there’s no use wishing things were different. Fate has other plans for me. I’m worthy of love; I will find it again.

Face The Music: forget consequences and anxiety. Live in the moment. Your instinct will tell you what’s right.

Chicago: our breakup hurt me incredibly deeply. No matter how much time has passed, it feels just like yesterday. But I learned from it, and I can rise above it.

All This Time: no matter how hard I try, part of me will never be “normal.” But what stays won’t be reminders of the pain of trying to fit in. It will be the love. Pleasure is pain. But pain is a lesson, hard won.

Out Of My System: A wall is a wall but sometimes it feels fucking good to smash it down.

Headline: you thought you could judge me and pin me like an insect, but you were wrong. We could have had a love like a poem; instead, you treated our love like the fucking tabloids. If you had tried to understand me, we could have made our own forever. Now I’m free; I have flown.

Saturdays: my heart might be broken and I’m a grade-A sap tbh, but my hometown is my secret weapon. Whenever I feel lost, I will always find myself there: “there” being the metaphor of Home that I carry inside. My childhood memories will always tell me who I am.

Silver Tongues: I’m a 90’s kid. I guess I’m a 90’s man now. Part of me still lives there. And I want to tell the kid in 2004 and all his friends, you’re gonna be alright. Hang on. Be good. Things will work out.

She Is Beauty We Are World Class: a brilliant night out

Common People: Doncaster is my touchstone. It grounds me and makes me who I am, reminds me what’s real.

Angels Fly: sometimes you have to table your grief and share a drink or ten with a friend.

Holding Onto Heartache: sometimes hearts don’t heal. Life feels like death. Every day feels worse than the previous day. Bad things pile up. What can we do? I am an artist, and I can write a grand, magnificent bridge to scream it all out, and it feels pretty goddamn cathartic! And maybe, maybe I can help others feeling the same way. My high is higher than most, and my lows are darker, but we can resist the pull of darkness together.

That’s The Way Love Goes: it’s their loss 🫡

You can see that many of these songs have the theme of recovering from loss, from heartache, but with an ebullient lightness that was missing from Walls. Most of all, Louis is also stepping back from sadness and self-blame, and giving himself some value. He knows he’s put in the work and he deserves good things, and he’s willing to wait for the payoff.

Forgot to add these photos of Louis looking thirty, flirty, and fucking hot.

#Fitf interpretation #louis songwriting #louis tomlinson #29 january 2023

39 notes · View notes

lostcauses-noregrets · 1 year

Note

Just want to thank you for being here. Lost. This is kind of a personal admission tbh, but I'm gonna say it. I used to be kind of homophobic, I guess, a long while ago. It wasn't like I thought being gay was evil, it was just... weird and different. Then I happened upon AOT, and then upon your blog. And you did get me into shipping Eruri, but you also talked about heteronormativity and some things like that while you discussed the ship that made me aware of certain things that I just thought. And your blog was also a very welcoming place for me to visit. Reading your meta made me realize that I'm not straight, actually, and that's it's not weird for me to not be. I've been here a few years, actually, but I feel like I'm at a point where I can say that I've found myself and rejected my old way of thinking, so I just wanted to thank you. I understand if you don't want to post this since it's a downer and I had some pretty unsavory beliefs in the past, but I really just wanted to thank you for being here. Your blog has been a safe space for me for a while, so I just wanted to tell you how much you have helped me.

Dear Anon, far from being a downer, this is one of the most affirming and inspiring asks I've received for a long time. I'm deeply moved that this blog, which started as an outlet for another of my daft obsessions, has had such a positive impact on your life and your identity. Sometimes people talk a lot of shit about fandom in general and fanfiction in particular but that completely overlooks the overwhelmingly positive influence it has on so many people's lives, by presenting a glimpse of other ways of being, other ways of living and loving. Occasionally I think about the amount of time I've spent writing fanfiction and meta over the last decade and I wonder if I should have spent that time on something more "important" or "worthy" but then I get a message like this, or the previous ask I just answered, and I can't help thinking that if the things I write have made even the smallest difference to other people's lives then it has all been worth while. Thank you so much for sharing your journey Anon. Wishing you much love, strength and joy for the future. L x 💕

#asks #eruri #fandom #positivity #i'm so moved by this

30 notes · View notes

asfateentertwines · 1 year

Text

Rotxo love

This is how I view Rotxo in my writing, he needs some focus

So first things first, physically, Rotxo is short for a na'vi

Poor boy is the na'vi equivalent of a human 5'8" - he's not really that short but also, he will be bullied relentlessly

However, he is b u i l t

He's bulky and puts on muscle easily. (Though he has a little bit of a dad bod cause as he should - like as close as fat muscular as a na'vi body can be lmao)

He keeps the sides of his head shaved and the top in a half braided, half curly look that reaches about his mid-shoulder blades

Google says na'vi are 10' so he's like ,,, 9'6"? short king

Partially why he relishes having a human mate cause like ,, he can't talk shit

He wears an obscene amount of beads and jewelry - he is the oldest brother of his 8 siblings (poor boy has three older sisters and three younger, he is one of two boys in the whole house) and they don't mess around in decorating their big brother

Onto personality, he's a big softie

But he's aggressively protective of his family - something he got from growing up with Ronal as his third mom

He grew up prepared to be Ao'nungs right hand, but he didn't always have the drive to be a warrior

He liked the idea but never felt connected to it. It was just a part of the future he was meant to reach

it wasn't until he was pulling desperately at a bomb on Payakans fin and watching Lo'ak sob over his bleeding brother that he realized why he was going to be a warrior

He always mentally attributes his finding reason in his training to Lo'ak and his strength

So he starts training and learning to fight with a newfound passion

Having always been Ao'nungs right hand, its his plan to follow at his side once he's chief and protect their people

Family is the most important thing in their culture and Tonowari has been such a prominent figure in his life that it's his goal to live and die for them

...he needs some help with the self-love and valuing his worth too man

It's part of how he and Spider bond

He's made a majority of his life around Ao'nung and being there for the clan that he forgot to care about himself or really learn about himself as his own person

He finds out he likes cooking while trying to figure out how to not poison Spider after an unfortunate courting accident

He and Lo'ak bond by combining fighting styles and their culture

It's the culture that also helps him bond with Kiri, a surprise to everyone except Spider who knew they'd get on from the start

However, his favorite hobby is fishing - which he gets teased for relentlessly

For all his mischief and jokes, he's an old man at heart

He 100% can and will disappear become he was just vibing out on the water for hours and lost track of time

During which he also attempts to bring home little gifts constantly

He gets it from his little siblings but he's the type to bring you a rock he found and say it was pretty and reminded him of you

So all of his friends have jars of shells, rocks, flowers, etc that he finds for them

However, he also has a habit of collecting strays

He just takes shit home

An octopus was the worst until he showed up two orphaned ash boys that never left

Spider is passionate that its why he fell for him and very smugly holds up that he has a solid argument

But honestly Rotxo just cannot stand someone being alone

He grew up surrounded by so much love and so many people he cared for that the thought of someone being alone when he could fix it makes him feel sick

He is fucking terrified of crabs tho

Tsireya hung one from his loincloth when they were children and ah...things got pinched

Ao'nung used it to torture him growing up and now the one thing he struggle to accept as Ewya's are crabs

Honestly crustaceans in general

He hates them

Learning Spider could eat them was a blessing and a curse

Cause one, easy food to find and two, he gets to see them die (sorry Ewya) but that also means he has to help catch crabs for his family

As teens, it wasn't horrible. But by the time they are grown with 4 kids, it's actually his nightmare

He is a practical joker

He brings it out in Ao'nung too and they can rival Lo'ak and Spider for the amount of mischief they get into

Though theirs is normally innocent and not death or war inducing

The worst thing they ever did was sink a fishing ship - Lo'ak and Spider got kidnapped, they're doing fine

Constantly torn between big brother instinct and little brother instinct

He's the big brother but also,,, 3 big sisters feels like he should have a pass

He isn't as close to them as he'd like

The oldest two are mated to other water clans and the oldest still home is distant, they don't get on super well, but he was close with all three when he was a child

Well, they played a lot.

His mothers are both very doting parents and very loving, but for some reason there was always a disconnect with his directly older sister

The other two are still friendly and loving when they visit, just not as common in his life anymore while she is just ... separate. She hasn't been herself in years

It makes him the acting oldest and he takes that very seriously

He has three little sisters and then the youngest of the family is another boy, all of which are a decent amount younger than him

It wasn't planned that way but he likes having the gap between them, it gives him enough distance to care for them but enough closeness to enjoy them still

They're as much the bane of his existence as they are the joy of it

He will boast about them relentlessly while also trying to drown one because 8 kids was simply 7 too many

Tuk loves the littles though and so he spends a lot of time babysitting with Spider or Neteyam - the two that really get the big brother thing in the two ways he normally expresses it

All in all, he is a big family-loving, lowkey gym buff, softie that needs to learn to love himself

But, until he does, he has a small army prepared to do it for him

I need to keep expanding on this but I needed these thoughts out. Rotxo really hasn't gotten the development he deserves and I can't wait to see how he gets fleshed out

#rotxo gets some character development #avatar rotxo #rocorro #rotxo #rotxo my beloved #lo'ak sully #avatar the way of water

28 notes · View notes

formulaorange · 10 months

Text

Spring 2023 Anime Review

Sorry this is late - I was in Japan for a month and a half

Oshi No Ko The series that easily stole the #1 spot this season. It really stands out, I've never seen a story like this one and it really hits hard. The episodes feel real and definitely show a side of the film/idol industry that a lot of people brush over. It's such a great concept and I'm thoroughly looking forward to future seasons. 10/10 - Masterpiece

Demon Slayer - Season 3 I really can't stress how next level Ufotable's animations are and you really get to see it in this season. The story itself is also picking up the pace with my guess of 2 more seasons before the series is completed, it's such a great feeling to really experience the series moving forward and being able to get to know more of the key characters introduced in season 1. A really killer season packed into a reasonable amount of time and episodes. 9.5/10 - Amazing

Hell's Paradise I can't put my finger on exactly what it is, but this really didn't hit as hard as I thought it would. The manga was impeccable and I guess the anime just didn't live up to it. I also felt that some of the animations were lackluster, which is surprising for MAPPA. Maybe they're really starting to feel the weight of having to work on so many titles. I'm hoping the next season feels better, the second half of the series is really where it picks up and is what makes everything worth it. 7.5/10 - Good+

Mashle Honestly one of the best comedy series I've seen in a while, I kept thinking maybe it wouldn't hit as hard the next episode but it always did. Excellent Harry Potter memeage and overall comedy. 8/10 - Very Good Dr. Stone S3 This took me a second to get back into but once I started watching, I really got into it, it's honestly such a good series. I feel like we're really headed toward the main story now and things are picking up the pace. Was a solid season for the story. 8/10 - Very Good My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 I loved this series so much. It was a bit of a slowburn but so very wholesome. I think it reminded me a bit of a younger wotakoi if that makes sense. just realistic and cute, the last episode is 100% a killer payoff, very much like jdramas where it's not over the top and you're stoked about the tiniest thing. definitely a couple i support all the way. 8/10 - Very Good Heavenly Delusion This season did such a 180 for me. I loved the initial concept of post-apocalyptic survival vs the captive kids but man did it get uncomfortable fast. There were just way too many naked kids and borderline harassment scenarios that I felt super icky watching the show. It could've gone such a different direction without all that stuff and be amazing.. End of the day the series was novel and that stuff wasn't the whole show. 7/10 - Good Gundam: Witch from Mercury Season 2 - Part 2 I was a huge fan of the first season, the story was solid, the characters were great and in general it was just a really good season. I had a much harder time with this season, it felt way more political and felt a little more rushed than i'd like. 6.5/10 - Fine+ With the new season coming out this weekend I'll post this and add to it when I complete the following 2 shows: The Dangers in My Heart Skip to Loafer

17 notes · View notes