there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
32K notes
·
View notes
Danny may be a Ghost Baby who feels like an Anicent, but his friends don't.
SO, we all know the Ghost Baby Headcanon by now right? The idea that Danny is literally a Toddler by Ghost Standards, but because of how powerful he is everybody else believes that he is an Ancient or a God who is hogging the Mortal World to himself.
But what about his friends?
They were right there when the Portal opened. No Hazmat Suits, no Cover, no Protection from the Dimension of Pure Energy that had just been opened right in front of them.
That has to have some kind of Side Effects!
And actually, we do know of a Character who was just standing in front of a Portal when it opened and still got affected by it. Vlad.
While Danny was turned into a Halfa instantly, his friends would be more similar to Vlad in that they are slow to transform.
It takes weeks, but eventually they become mini-halfas themselves. Except they didn't have an entire Dimension of energy pushed into them upon fully forming, so their Ecto-Signatures actually feel like the babies they are supposed to be.
So imagine this from the Ghosts perspective.
They meet this guy called Phantom, a Halfa who is Extremely Powerful, but nobody has seen him in centuries. He was known as a very powerful Protector Spirit for millennia, randomly showing up across history, but always helping others. And then he just vanished one day, not seen again for centuries.
Until recently, when he showed in the Mortal World, stopping any other Ghost from fulfilling their Obsessions with Humans. And by his side are 2 smaller Halfa's that feel like they must have barely formed. You can see where this is going.
They think Sam and Tucker are Danny's children.
It makes sense! A Powerful Ancient, known for protecting people, suddenly disappears for centuries and then shows up again with 2 baby Halfa's in tow? That sounds like a Protector Spirit who lost his will to fight, decided to settled down in the Mortal Realm, and then found out that 2 baby Halfa's were formed when a Portal was opened!
He isn't selfishly holding the Mortal Realm to himself! He's protecting the Fledgling Haunt of his 2 Babies! They must still have living Family, that's why he is so adamant that they don't hurt the Civilains in their battles!
Now they just feel like assholes for attacking the Baby's dad when he was just trying to protect their stuff.
Danny finds this both extremely infuriating, and also agonizingly hilarious.
6K notes
·
View notes
DCXDP Fic Idea: Mr. Flavor's Soda
Danny gets thrown into an alternate dimension.
Which, sucks especially when he was just flying through the ghost zone on an exploration and had been attacked by a tribe of ghosts he had never seen before.
They looked surprisingly human, were it not for their horns and wings. Danny hadn't seen them coming, one moment he was looking at the Infinite Map trying to find his way back to the main section of the zone and the next he was being hurled to the ground from a flying net.
He hit the ground hard, with a startled yelp, as the ghosts surrounded him, each welding a sharp looking spears.
Danny wasn't sure what the net was made of, but it had forced him back into Fenton and deactivated his powers.
The tribe had been chanting in a language he could not understand, dragging him through their village as various creatures with similar features peaked out at him.
He been a helpless human staring up at the crowd as they sang and danced around a stone statue. Then a woman wearing a lovely golden leaf head piece stood up, and all went silent.
She gave what Danny thinks is a speech, waving her arms up and above her head. The crowd ate it up, cheering whenever she took a pause. The woman pointed to the stone as it began to glow, bowing it while flapping her wings.
Danny watched the crowd copy her actions intrigued by the strange festival until two large men flew over to him and lifted up his net. Their wings flapped in tune with the drums that picked up, carefully flying Danny over the crowd who all chanted and gently grazed their hands along his net covered body.
Danny felt unease, especially when the little tour ended with him dangling before the flowing stone that ripped open to a portal. It was ink black instead of the ussual green and horror creeps into his mind as the woman waves a staff over his head, the jingle of the bells attached to gently shaking.
Then the men through him through the portal. Danny's screams are drown out by the drums, stomping and joyful songs of the tribe that attacked him.
He has been sacrificed. He thought it would be the end, but instead, he wound up falling into a dumpster in a dirty alley back on Earth.
It took ages to wiggle his way the net, but by that point, Danny was too grateful to be alive to really care. When he stumbled out of the alley he came to find it was not his Earth.
His Earth did not have a place called Gotham. He been sent to a wrong universe, which wasn't the first time, but this time his powers were out of reach, locked within due to whatever net they had shoved him into.
The net disintegrated before his eyes, not even allowing him to study.
Danny was pissed. He wandered the streets, hoping to find help. All he had on his person was his student ID (which meant nothing if his school didn't exist) his broken phone and the credit card he had stolen from Vlad.
Testing the card at a gas station for a bottle of water, he held his breath as the clerk ran it and almost collapsed in relief as it went through.
Too bad the card had a limit of three thousand. He knew since he checked when he took it. It would be enough for a little while, but who knew with the economy in this world for how long. Everything was much more expensive, even the bottle of water was two dollars and fifty-five cents when back home it would have been Ninty five cents.
Danny needed a plan. He stumbled to a run-down motel and got a room wincing at the nightly rented it. Thank goodness the front receptionist didn't ask for an ID, as he checked him in.
Danny spent three whole days like this, trying to get Phantom to come forth from whatever lock he was stuck behind and wandering Gotham looking for anything familiar.
Eventually, Danny got a craving for a Coca-cola, and when he tried to find one, he came to the horrifying realization that his favorite drink did not exist. Not in this world.
Thank goodness Danny knew how to make some homemade version of it. He bought the supplies, telling himself it was worth the slight dent in his funds.
The receptionists at the motel startled when Danny breezed by carrying a lab kit (he only knew how to make it in a chemistry set since Tucker and he did it for a school assignment) and various groceries. She gave Danny an alarmed expression when he stumbled out a few hours later drinking his black liquid heaven.
Danny hadn't noticed she had gone for her phone with a pale face and shaking hands as he wandered around the city. He only realized something was wrong when he came back later that evening, carrying more supplies, determined to regain his various soda flavors he missed since his displacement.
As he was working, his rented room looked like a miniature lab as various sodas were carefully crafted. The following morning as Danny was attempting to scare his powers back into action by leaping off low fire escape he noticed a group of kids watching him.
They were just a filthy as Danny, so likely as homeless as him. Danny choose to ignore them as he raced up and down the stairs, doing flips to try to get his ghost side back. Eventually, a younger one creeper closer, staring at the re-purposed water bottled filled with his precious soda.
"Whats that stuff?" The kid asked eyeing the homemade cola with far too much interest.
"Cola" He responds, curious why the kid would get near someone who looked, honestly, insane. He would never have gone near someone taking two story jumps but that's just Danny.
"Is it strong?" The kid asks
Danny blinks. " I don't think so? I've been drinking it for a while, so it's pretty tamed for me"
"Where you get it?"
"I made it."
The kid nods, hand stuffed into his pocket before pulling out a crumbled twenty bill. "How much?"
"What?"
"How much for a bottle?" The kid asks, voice taking a sudden desperate tune.
Danny eyes the bill "I don't have any change. Just take the bottle. I can make more."
The boy's eyes bug out of his skull but he grabs a bottle and scrambles back to his group as if though he was worried Danny would change his mind. Odd.
The group of kids share the bottle between. They drink it quickly, some making faces as the carbonated bubbles go up their noses but happy.
The bottle is empty too quickly, and the kid comes stumbling back. "I know you said you didn't have change, but how many bottles could this buy me?"
Danny stares, and then he looks down at his haul. He has seven bottles left - one for each kid if he counted them right. "Look bring me smaller bills next time but for now just take the drinks"
"What kind of drug is it, if you dint mind me asking?" The boy says politely and Danny startles so hard he bangs his head on the metal latter.
A swears escapes his lips as the tiny boy- he could be no older then ten!- stiffens as if frighten. The group of kids behind him all become weary.
"It's not drugs! It's soda!"
"Soda?" The boy repeats confused then shrugs. "Sure man. Thanks!"
Taking all the bottles, the boy scrambles away, leaving the alley with his group as they all cheer. Danny shakes his head at them. This place is wild. He goes back to his jumps and ends up with more bruises than glowing powers.
But the following week the boy and his group retrun each carrying ones. Danny sells them more Cola for a dollar a piece encouraging them to save their bottles since he was running low. Then the week after that and the week after that, each time the group getting bigger.
Soon Danny starts to add different flavors, he hasn't found Sprite, Fonta or Dr.Pepper and he tries his best to bring the flavors back into this world. The kids loss their minds over it.
They nickname him Mr.Flavor since Danny forgets to introduce himself and now the little demons refuse to use his name even when he tells them. Danny realizes something weird is going on when adults start popping up in his alley also looking for a bottle.
He ends up making a steady income, walking home with a wab of cash. This is great since he is pretty sure he's near his card limit. The receptionist still eyes him with weary eyes but hasn't said anything as Danny builds a steady fulling for his drinks.
That's why when he wobbles back to his rented room now covered in even more reckless bruises, he is shocked to find his soda lab smashed to bits and a man in a red hood waiting for him.
"What the hell!" He yells as the man pointed a gun at his head.
"You think you can set up shop in my territory?" The man's growl is able to hear even with the voice changer.
Danny bristles "I can sell my soda wherever I want-"
"Soda?" The guy pauses, looking down at the various liquids sinking into the carpet. Before Danny can yell at him, the man reaches down and grabs two water bottles of every flavor. He walks backward to the smashed window - likely how he got in - with the gun still trained on Danny. "If this is anything other than Soda, say goodbye to your knee caps"
Danny lifts his chin "Shoot me. I'll turn ghost!"
The man says nothing as he flips backward through the window and vanishes into the night. Danny huffs, taking stock of the damage.
All his very small earthly possessions except for his three pairs of pants and shirts ( bought from a second-hand store with his soda money) were all ruined. He stumbles down to the front to report the damage, and the lady at the front actually shakes while telling him that they don't mind the damage.
Danny gives her a fifty as a thanks.
He tells the people the next day what happened. They all make faces and groan when he says it'll take time to replace his supplies. It's three days later that he finds the same helmet man in his room again. He was hit by a car earlier that night in a very desperate attempt to active his powers so he limps in, half sure he broken a bone or two.
The driver had speed away. A hit and run that hopefully won't be reported so no one will know Danny had noticed the driver was drunk and chose to get hit.
Danny spreads his arms "shoot me! Do it!"
Surely being shot would get Phantom back
The man shifts uncomfortable on his feet. "I'm not here to shoot you. I'm here to apologize. I tested your drinks and realized they were soda after all."
"So you smashed my stuff without verifying what it was? Lord of the flies you're evil!"
The man pauses. "Lord of the flies?"
"It's a classic. Read a book, pill head"
The man laughs. "I read plenty brat. Anyway, I brought you some gifts as a apology"
He pulls a tarp of a pile that Danny hadn't noticed in the dark. He gasps in delight when he sees state of the art chemistry sets all set up on a nice big table. He scrambled to the layout, eyes gleaming on the different syrups.
"This is awesome!" He chirps, picking up test tubes and checking thier quality. His mom would approve. His eyes catch a box underneath the table, which he quickly pulls out.
Inside are empty, new plastic disposals bottles. The lable has a shadowed leaping boy over the words "Mr. flavor Soda"
Danny gasps.
"I thought you needed a brand name." The man says, handing him a paper. "When you run out, go to this recycling place. They know to give you new bottles with your lable. Also, carry that sellers permit, or the cops will give you trouble. You know Anthony's Pasta?"
Danny gapes at the paper, blinking slowly. "No?"
"It's in Crime Alley. The Italian restaurant at the corner. They'll agreed to let you sell your drinks in thier lobby every Friday and Monday from opening to closing. There should be a light board in one of the boxes. Set up a menu for that day."
"What? Why would they agree to that?"
Danny can't see his face, but he thinks the man is smirking. "They owe me a favor or two. Do you best, kid, and stay off the streets"
"I'm not a kid. I'm fourteen, " Danny says, lifting his chin.
"Sure." The man steps back towards the window. Which seems to have been fixed in the nine hours Danny was out. Odd. "And kid? Please go to the free clinic."
He throws a business card with the clinics information before he vanishes into the shadows again.
Danny is left standing there with endorsement for a bubbling soda business with a shock expression.
Well, at least he has something to make some cash while getting his powers back.
1K notes
·
View notes
really what prompted my double boy dad bakugou post was the idea of his older son — who is six, nearing seven — coming out of his room with messy, sleep-mussed hair and wandering into the kitchen on an early morning when katsuki's getting ready for work.
and your youngest is a little terror. spoiled rotten, katsuki thinks, was too babied and that's why he doesn't listen and has temper tantrums in the middle of the floor and is already throwing punches at three. katsuki's old witch of a mother thinks he'll be bulkier than his older son and twice as mean, prone to pinning his brother to the ground until he's declared the greatest.
(katsuki feels both horror and pride, at the very thought.)
it hasn't always been easy for your oldest; becoming a big brother never is. not that katsuki would know what that's like, but he hated to even share a playground with deku, much less share his one and only mommy, so he can only imagine what his own son went through when his brother arrived.
but he's been great about it, which comes as no surprise because his oldest has always been great about everything. gets his little brother out of bed and reminds him of his manners—even as he's getting whacked—gives up his toys just so the baby won't cry. he's too smart for his own good, acting like a big boy now—and it makes katsuki nostalgic in a way that hurts.
there hasn't been a lot of time for just the two of them. not like there used to be.
so when his firstborn comes to stand beside him in the kitchen, to lean his head against his dad's hip and rub at his sleepy eyes—katsuki just ruffles his already messy hair, before giving his ear a little tug.
"should be asleep," he grumbles to him, "sun's not even up yet."
his son only shrugs, yawns hard; despite this, he says, "'m not tired."
katsuki snorts and continues with his routine: finishes his protein shake, gives the kid a sip when he thinks he wants one (he doesn't really, though he tries not to make a face at the taste as he nods, as if he likes it), makes sure he's got all his work shit in his bag for patrol later. and his son is mostly quiet, content to share in the morning just between the two of them after katsuki sits him on the counter.
and then he asks, "can i come to work with you?"
on instinct, katsuki glances at his shut bedroom door, where you're still fast asleep, on the other side, and then down the hallway to where his youngest is sleeping, too.
technically, the kid probably could because you're off work today, and you could come pick him up later before katsuki has to head out, but—
"your brother won't be happy if i take you and not him."
and your oldest is a good big brother. has more patience than katsuki ever did, knows how to share—but on this morning that the two of them are indulging in, he only shrugs.
"well," he sighs—and he sounds so grown up, sounds like you when you're leveling with katsuki. "if he wanted to go then he should have got up, too."
"that why you're awake?" katsuki frowns, though his son only shrugs again. the idea that he's gotten up way too early, at the ass-crack of dawn just to have some extra time with his dad is too—
"yeah," katsuki murmurs, nodding at him to hop off the counter. "get your socks on so we can go."
there won't be anything for him to do in the agency office, besides get an endless amount of cups of water from the dispenser and all the candy in the receptionist's bowl and attention from the older ladies that thinks he's just so stinking cute.
but at least they'll be together, just the two of them. like old times.
2K notes
·
View notes
Katsuki misses when his daughter was younger, and he could fix her boo-boos with a bandage and a kiss. He could carry her in his arms, clean the scrapes she received while playing at the playground, smack on a cute Hello Kitty bandage, kiss it and get her to giggle. But now that she was older, she did not have scratches and scrapes to worry about. Her boo-boos came in other forms- Boys and heartbreaks, to be specific.
He'd just come home from work to find his daughter cuddled into you, the teenager bawling her eyes out because some stupid guy she was seeing dumped her for no apparent reason. His heart shattered, watching her wipe her eyes with hiccups leaving her chest. He didn't enter the room. He just stood there, and his daughter caught his eye, quickly looking away and burying her head in her mother's hair.
You shot him a pointed look, reminding him not to say something that would make her cry even more. Bakugo's fists clenched on his sides, crimson eyes bubbling with anger. His daughter peeked at him, wondering if he was mad at her. Her heart sank when he turned around and left.
"Now Papa's mad at me too," She sniffled.
"No, he's not," You stroke her hair, trying to calm her down. "Just give him some time, alright?"
"Mhm..." She lets you comfort her some more before you leave.
She buried herself under the blanket and scrolled through her socials, blocking that dumb ex of hers from everywhere. Maybe Papa did know best after all. Maybe she should've listened when her father said the guy didn't give him good vibes. She sighed and pushed the phone under her pillow, trying to go to sleep to escape all the tears.
Just as she started to drift off, she heard the door open a creak and poked her head out of the blanket to see her father standing in the doorway with a plastic bag in hand, still in full hero gear.
"Can I come inside?" He asked. She sat up and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders, nodding.
Katsuki shuffled to her bed and cleared his throat, taking out all his daughter's favourite snacks from the plastic bag, "Erm- thought you'd like some... saw your favourite chocolate, so I bought that too. There's some of that crappy ramen you like. It's shit, but I'll allow it for now."
His daughter can't help but smile at him. So that's why he left without a word. To get her snacks and try to cheer her up. Or so she thinks, "Thank you, papa."
"'S nothin'" He stared at her awkwardly, not sure what to do next. He knew just snacks wouldn't fix a broken heart. He opened his arms for her, and she shifted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder. Bakugo can't remember the last time he held her like this. It's been a while. This reminded him that no matter how old she was, he'd always be able to hold her like his little girl. He kissed her forehead and wiped tears from her eyes.
"Don't waste yer tears, squirt," He said, "That asshole ain't worth yer pretty tears. Now open the snacks. I wanna try some."
Bakugo grins when she breaks into a goofy smile and opens a packet of spicy chips. He doesn't really eat this stuff, especially before dinner, but he'll make an exception for his little girl. He takes a chip and pops it into his mouth, glad she is smiling now. He held back a smirk when he thought of how she'd be rolling on the floor laughing when she saw her ex come to school with a bandage on his nose and a bruise on his cheek.
Sure, he did not know how to fix her boo-boos anymore, but he sure did know how to beat the shit out of people who gave her the boo-boos. Even if it was a teenage boy far younger than him.
279 notes
·
View notes