#he was never in it for the fame or the money but just the pure love and passion:

[hellfire--cult]

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Best Friend!Fem!Reader

wc: 19.2k (it wasn't intended to be this long)

+18, best friends to lovers, rockstar eddie, mentions of drug usage (not abuse), slight mention of steve x reader, jealousy, self-consciousness, reader feels insecure about her body, mentions of skin texture (cellulite, adiposities, stretchmarks, floppiness, sagginess, etc), smut, love making, p in v (protected), fingering, just pure absolute fluff.

Plot: You've been in love with your best friend ever since you can remember, and the hope of ever confessing vanished slowly as he signed a record deal and became a rockstar. His flings were now models, and singers... how can you even compete? Their perfect and smooth skin against your cellulite and stretchmarks? Their bodies completely perky?...But your rockstar kind of explodes with his feelings, out of jealousy, and shows you just how much you don't have to worry about that.

a/n: absolutely self indulgent. thank you to all the beautiful friends that read this, and were in the middle of me making this happen. i love you @munson-blurbs @andvys @ghost-proofbaby @pastel-pillows @the-unforgivenn @littlesubbyflower !

always reblog, don't be lazy

ORANGE PEEL SKIN

Being best friends with a rockstar was not something you ever thought you’d be. 

But you have been friends even before his fame took off before his songs were known. Before his band got called into a prestigious studio back in L.A to record their first-ever demo album. Before his life got turned into a life of luxury and parties. A life he always didn’t believe he would get, but he worked hard to get it, manifested it, and now he is the leader of his rock band.

Corroded Coffin.

With the same three friends from High School, and he was the shining star of it all. He insisted on his bandmates, Jeff, Gareth and Grant to trust him, and they did, ending up with this record deal, and they will forever be grateful to him. 

Now, you, well, you weren’t in the band, but Eddie invited you on tour sometimes, because that’s what being his best friend got you. You often insisted for him not to waste money on your trips, plane tickets, hotel room, and pleasantries, but he never listened. He showered you with gifts whenever he could.

He got you the latest cellphone, designer bags, and clothes, some perfumes, but he never fails to buy you the one thing you like the most in every country he visits, and it’s tiny, yet he always smiles when he gives it to you. Magnets. 

You collected them in your fridge, amazed to see every place he’s been to, knowing that the boy that lived in the small trailer in Forest Hills now brings you magnets from all around the world. The boy you’ve known since you moved to Hawkins. The boy that tried to teach you DnD in the woods at the back of his trailer, but your fourteen-year-old self didn’t care for games. Yet you loved listening to him.

Because you’ve been in love with Eddie Munson ever since you can remember.

But that love is impossible, now more than ever. He never gave the indication he felt the same, and sure you two were close, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You always sit on his lap so he can play with your hair, or you two would greet each other with kisses on the cheeks, or simply hold hands as you two watch a movie together.

Now Eddie being a rockstar, well, you have no chance whatsoever. He had a fling with Miley Cyrus, and you remember it clearly. It was a simple drunk fuck, but it was enough to make you realize that you are certainly not his type. Then he hooked up with another model, and you found out because you saw it on a gossip instagram page.

Your heart broke in pieces when you saw it, knowing the boy you loved for so long so out of reach, yet so close thanks to your friendship. Even if in pain, you could not let him go, not that easily. You just loved him so much, but even you knew it had to be stopped at some point. It couldn’t go on. You will die from a heartbreak sooner or later, and you have to avoid it.

But he makes it difficult, and even more so now that he is taking a break from tour to visit Hawkins so he can see his old friends and Wayne, including you. It’s been four months since you’ve seen him in person, only talking with him through phone and video calls, but very little. He was always busy or going to parties or meeting other bands and singers.

And even if that hurts you, you will never stop loving him. Not really, not ever.

“You okay?”

Your thoughts got cut off as you shook your head to look at Chrissy who was looking at you with a worried look on her face. Your best friend knew about your feelings for the metalhead, and Chrissy has held you many times on nights where you just cried your eyes out because of every call, of every picture, of every rumor you heard of him. 

“Yeah, I am just nervous I guess.” You responded and Chrissy only nodded in a slow motion towards you. You looked around to see everyone gathered in Steve’s backyard, the sunset giving perfect orange hues as Wayne started the fire for some burgers, and Dustin was getting the cooler with beers alongside Mike. 

You couldn’t believe these boys were almost twenty. You didn’t mind that they drink some beers at this age, because who didn’t drink alcohol being below twenty-one? But did time pass by this quickly? When did it happen?

“If you say so.” Chrissy mumbled as she pressed a hand on your shoulder for reassurance. You couldn’t be more grateful for a friend like Chrissy. You really don’t know where you would be if it weren’t for her. Probably crying in every possible corner Hawkins had to give.

“Will you two stop being lazy asses and get the drinks from inside?” Steve yelled and you just rolled your eyes, while Chrissy flipped him off, Robin and Nancy laughing while putting up some balloons and preparing the music. You and your best friend walked inside to get the glasses and the sodas for the night. 

“He seriously needs to stop acting like a mother.” You groaned as you piled up the red cups in your hands, hearing Chrissy snorting behind you as she took the sodas out of the fridge.

“And yet–” And she suddenly went silent. You started hearing cheering from outside and you shut your eyes very tight, wincing slightly at the impending pain that your heart will feel at seeing him. You could already hear his electric voice, all enthusiastic and happy, and it made your heart jump three feet up.

You heard your name being called by Chrissy and it made you open your eyes so you could take a deep breath in, slowly turning around to finally look out the window to see him, your breath being knocked out in one single glance. 

His hair, tied in a bun, scruff on his chin and jaw, curls falling on the sides of his face as he hugged Dustin tightly, swirling him around while the rest of the band greeted everyone else. You didn’t want to be a bitch to the other three, but your eyes could only see Eddie. Only Eddie. A tight tank top with ripped sleeves reveals tattoos that linger across his arms and hands. Black ripped jeans with chains hanging from his waist, and a piercing on his nose, a hoop that glistened with the orange hue of the sunset.

You took a deep breath trying to calm your accelerating heart, trying to not let the blood go all the way to your cheeks, to your body, as you looked at him. It’s not like when you two talk on video calls, it cannot compare.

Chrissy cleared her throat, making you snap out, looking at him with a wild look on your face. She chuckled softly as she walked outside and you immediately heard Eddie cheerfully yell her name, and she was yelling to be careful with the bottles in her hands. 

“You can do this… You can definitely do this. Just keep pretending, everything will be okay.” This was always what you told yourself before seeing him in person. Even at school. You often wondered if you would ever stop these feelings of yours, but even if there was a possibility of them stopping, how do you reach that?

You took another deep breath, getting hold of the stack of red cups you had bought for today, and you rolled your shoulders, once, twice, and finally stepped out into the garden. His back was towards you, so it gave you time to put the cups on the table as you looked at the back of his head. He was talking with Jonathan as Dustin walked over to hand him a beer. 

You could hear his laughter, and you wanted to stay there, yet you also wanted to run away. So far away. But you couldn’t do that now, not when Dustin told Eddie something and then pointed towards you, making him turn around and his brown eyes finally caught onto yours.

Every thought of running away evaporated because that’s what Eddie does to you. He turns you into putty, into his slave, into a submissive prey that will do whatever he commands. Just with him looking at you, and flashing a smile your way as his eyes light up with yours. A smile was immediately drawn to your lips, not pretending, because you loved him, and you didn’t have to pretend to be happy to see him.

Because you were. Extremely so.

He handed the beer to Dustin in a quick manner as he started rushing towards you, making your legs work as well, meeting him halfway in order for his arms to open wide as his smile worked all the way up, face lighting up as he sees you, and you just can’t help the extreme happiness that invades you and fills you the moment he wraps his arms around your frame.

His perfume, his scent, the smell of the shampoo of his hair, everything was engulfing you as well as his hands pressing all over your back, while your arms wrapped around his shoulders, your nose digging into the crook of his neck. He chuckles when he feels your breath on his skin, and you are unaware of the shiver that runs through his spine at the feel of it.

He pulled away with a grin on his face, and that’s when he finally took notice of how you had a different hair color, you two had talked through video call two weeks ago, so it was a very recent change. He straightened up to grab hold of one strand as he raised a playful eyebrow up.

“A new style, Kitty?” 

That damn nickname. It stuck to you when Eddie and you had a school show back in middle school, and he was spared from acting, but you were disguised as a black cat. He made fun of you, of course, but that’s what made you two grow close to one another. 

You fought the heat that was rising up on your cheeks as you giggled and looked down to the floor, giving him a short nod.

“Yeah, wanted to try something new.” He gave a nod to you and you raised your head up to look back to his eyes once more. He was looking at you with fondness as if you were the only light in his path at the moment.

“You look beautiful.”

It wasn’t the first time Eddie complimented you, but it wasn’t easier each time he did it. Your heart always leaped at his comments, always raising a little bit of hope inside of you that you didn’t know if it was healthy or not. He was just your best friend, and your fantasies are just that. Fantasies.

“T-Thanks Eds… I hope this whole rockstar career didn’t make you a wuss with alcohol.” You tried to lighten the moment and it worked as he laughed wholeheartedly at you, shaking his head.

“You are not going to beat me at chugging beer. Last time you almost puked!”

“We’ll see.”

You did not win. You just wanted to see him have fun and laugh as the foam of the beer got out of your nose as you choked on the drink. 

It was a nice night, warm, and the buzz of the alcohol was not too great, just enough to feel funny but conscious. It was nice having Eddie here, and you could notice it around the whole group. Dustin couldn’t stop nerding with him about DnD, and Robin was telling him about how she managed to get Chrissy on a date.

You were laughing with Mike as he explained to you how Nancy almost caught him and Will in the closet and you couldn’t help but wince because you still saw these two boys as little teenagers, and it was weird imagining them in this situation. 

But it seems someone was bored.

“Now that we are older, can you PLEASE play Never Have I ever with us!?” Everyone’s gazes turned to the redhead that had the beer in her hand, moving it from side to side and everyone couldn’t help but burst out in laughter because ever since these kids tried alcohol at the age of fifteen, they’ve been trying to play these games with all the grown-ups. 

“Okay, you guys are old enough. I don’t want any ews, or ahs, okay?” Steve replied and Dustin rolled his eyes at him.

“Same goes for you, Steve.”

And yeah, he was right, because it was going to be weird listening to these kids talk about their experiences with all of you. But whatever, Eddie doesn’t come often, might as well have fun with it.

You all sat around, and you were in between Chrissy and Jonathan while Eddie sat at front in between Robin and Dustin. Max cleared her throat, signaling that she was about to start, and all of you tried to stop the giggling at the whole situation.

“I’ll start. Never have I ever… kissed someone of the same sex.” 

Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, Dustin, Lucas, and you didn’t drink. Everyone else did. You knew Eddie had kissed guys before, experimenting. The one that everyone turned to look at though, was Steve.

“Seriously Harrington?” Eddie asked, completely surprised and you snorted into your beer as Steve looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

“What? I never had the curiosity.” Eddie shrugged and took a sip of his beer as Robin came next.

“Okay, okay… Never have I ever… done harder drugs than weed.”

“Low blow Buckley.” Eddie said as he took a sip of his drink, Jonathan followed right behind, making Will look at him with his mouth wide open.

“What!?” Will yelled at his brother, who only laughed as he wiped his mouth.

“My best friend is Argyle, what do you expect?” And Will only rolled his eyes as Mike chuckled and patted his boyfriend’s shoulder to calm him down. You cleared your throat as you knew that Eddie had tried many things thanks to the connections he now has with the famous environment he is in. 

You remember when he once video-called you telling you he felt like shit because he took two lines of coke for the very first time. One would think that an ex-dealer would have tried stronger things, but not Eddie. He never was fond of them, yet, he felt pressured to do so that night.

“Okay, my turn. Never have I ever… puked all over a friend.” And the bastard wiggled his eyebrows your way, and you cussed at him on the low, taking a sip of your drink, as well as Robin with an embarrassed look on her face while Steve winced in disgust.

“Not fair Eddie.” You whined at him and he could only laugh. It was the first time you’d ever gotten drunk, and it took two glasses of fireball and coke for you to barf all over your best friend as he tried to get you out of the party. It was humiliating, yet Eddie held you tight and reassured you that everything was okay.

He took care of you the whole morning afterwards, telling your mom that you crashed at his place because you were tired, even if his place and yours were five minutes away. 

“My turn.” Dustin said with a smug look on his face and Steve took a sharp intake of breath, and you could only groan. “I didn’t even say anything.”

“C’mon Henderson, what do you want to know?” Chrissy laughed as she saw Robin rolling her eyes at her but with a small smile on her lips. Dustin smirked and straightened up.

“Never have I ever slept with anyone in this circle.”

Will and Mike groaned as they took sips of their own drinks, same as Max as she flipped Dustin off and Lucas laughing while shaking his head. Jonathan and Nancy also took sips of their drinks, Steve, as well, Robin and Chrissy…

And you.

Causing everyone to look at you in disbelief.

“What?” Your best friend said with a mocking laugh, thinking you were lying, but another person winced in the circle as Dustin let out a victorious laugh, raising his fist up with a pump.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” 

“Dustin.” You groaned as you clenched your eyes tightly and Dustin shook his head, while everyone looked at him.

“No, I was right, and you two fucking lied about it!” He screamed and Eddie was looking back and forth between you and Dustin, not knowing what was going on.

“You two?” Jonathan asked and then, everyone’s eyes turned to one of the single males in the group who had his hand running in his hair with an exasperated sigh.

“Yeah Dustin, we lied.” Steve finally responded. 

Everyone, except for Dustin remained silent as the curly-headed guy let out a scoff with a shake of his head.

“And you thought I wouldn’t figure it out.” He said with a smug look on his face and you couldn’t even look up from embarrassment, but a voice made you snap out to finally make you talk.

“Kitty?” 

Shit.

“When did this happen?” Robin asked in disbelief and you sighed, finally looking up from your glass, trying to not look at your best friend who was piercing his gaze through your skull, making a shiver run down your spine.

“A month ago.” Everyone almost screamed at the confession and you sighed with a roll of your eyes.

“HOW!?” Mike now asked and Steve cleared his throat, a chuckle then escaping his mouth.

“We were drunk… blasted off drunk.” Eddie’s mouth was on the floor right now, and you could see the betrayal that was slowly plastering on his face, making you wince inwardly. You didn’t tell him. You didn’t want to tell him, and now he knew, and you felt the lump of guilt forming inside your throat and guts.

“Wait, was it after the barbeque?” Will asked this time and Dustin chuckled with a nod to his head, making you and Steve glare at him.

“Yep. I forgot my phone, and imagine my surprise when I heard moaning throughout the house and her car was still parked outside.” Everyone except for three people gasped at the situation, making Dustin proud of his discovery. “Steve told me it was another girl while she slept in his parent’s bed.”

“It was believable.” Steve retorted, making you scoff at that.

“It was fucking dumb Steve.” At your response, everyone’s heads snapped at you while Steve looked at you with an offended frown on his eyebrows.

“It wasn’t! He is just too nosy! And let me remind you, you jumped my bones first.” Gasps and whistles were now heard in your circle of friends as your mouth dropped to the floor, looking at Steve with anger in your face.

“I did not! You were the one who started it!” And to be honest, you could hardly remember that night, you were depressed and angry, and Steve was pent up. That’s all it was. 

“Okay, I don’t remember who did, we’ll just say we are both to blame.” Steve raised his cup up towards you with a sheepish smile on his face, making you roll your own, but a smile was on your lips as you raised your cup as well and took a sip from it. 

“Well, that’s something I didn’t know.” You almost choked as you looked towards your best friend after the confession you blurted out. He had a piercing gaze towards your way, a glare, anger behind his eyes with his arms crossed over his chest. The air immediately tensed and you weren’t the only one who felt it. 

Everyone else was looking somewhere else than in between the two of you. You knew you were in the wrong for not telling him anything, but you really didn’t want him to know about it. It was a one-time thing that would never happen again, so you really didn’t see the need to do so.

Steve also noticed the tense air, clearing his throat to talk once more.

“Okay, my turn, right?”

 And the game went on, but not with the same cheery atmosphere as before. You were quiet, and Eddie was angry, passing on his turn whenever he had to say something. You barely included yourself in the game, your mind racing with nervousness and guilt from not telling your best friend you slept with Steve. 

Once everyone finally decided the night was done, you helped Robin and Chrissy try to tidy up Steve’s kitchen the best you could. You didn’t want to face Eddie, the alcohol in your system was long gone thanks to the dread of facing him alone at some point in the week. You were washing the cups as Robin and Chrissy started giggling and you sent them a wink as they rushed out and up the stairs to one of Steve’s rooms.

“So they left you on cleaning duty.” Steve entered the kitchen with empty bottles with a groan as he threw them in the trash. You giggled and shrugged, finishing to wash the last cup.

“They are in their honeymoon phase, let them be.” You turned off the water from the sink as you felt Steve stand next to you with his arms over his chest.

“But chicks stain sheets, and I really don’t want to hear them having sex. Why can’t they go to one of their houses?” You rolled your eyes as you dried your hands with one of the hand towels that was hanging from the oven’s handle. 

“Put some headphones on, suck it up like a man.” You giggled and he followed with a chuckle only for the two of you to be interrupted by a clear of throat and some keys jingling.

“Sorry to interrupt. Let’s go home.” Eddie was leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, swinging his keys around his middle finger with a piercing gaze thrown your way. You looked at him in complete confusion, tilting your head.

“I– I came with my car–” 

“Let’s go home.” It was stern, angry, and fed up. It was a command. He wanted to talk, and you knew that. Your heart hammered in your chest as you sighed, giving Steve a look and he gave you a reassuring nod with a worried frown. 

“You’ll pick up your car tomorrow.” The brown-haired man said as the rockstar rolled his eyes, walking out of the kitchen. You gave Steve one last look before following Eddie out and then towards the front door.

The black matte Jeep Wrangler standing at the front in all of its glory, and it sometimes makes you miss his old van. The one the both of you smoked weed in between school periods, after school, and on the weekends. The one where you laid at the top to star gaze, completely high off your minds. 

You heard a click, snapping you out as you saw him lighting a cigarette while walking, opening the passenger’s door for you, but not waiting for you to get in. He rounded the car to go into the driver’s seat, making you gulp thanks to your nervousness, not knowing where the night was headed. 

You slowly got inside the car, closed the door, and buckled your seatbelt properly, trying to keep your heart out of your throat as it threatened to come out. His eyes were unreadable as they stared forward, making the engine of the car roar as he rolled the window down for the smoke to leave the interior. 

And then, it was quiet. Not even music was on.

He was driving, one hand gripped on the wheel while the other stuck out of the window with the cigarette in between his fingers. You didn’t know where to look or what to do as you played with your fingers on top of your lap, looking out the window. 

What were you supposed to say? Should you wait for him to say something? Or is he waiting for you? Is he waiting for a sign so he can start talking? You don’t understand why the air is so tense between the two of you, it’s not like you murdered someone, it was just–

What–

“Hang on, are you not taking me home?” You asked as you looked at the exit that would take you to your apartment complex. You received no response, making you look at him who was still looking ahead of the road, flicking the cigarette out the window as his other one clenched onto the wheel. 

You knew where he was taking you, back to his apartment in Indianapolis. It wasn’t a long ride, but it was half an hour away, meaning you would have to stay silent for the whole ride, and it was making your gut turn uncomfortably. 

Eddie and you never fought, and you for sure never received this kind of treatment from him. The only time you can remember something like this happened, was back in middle school when you didn’t tell him you had your first kiss with Richard Pax. It was in spin the bottle, and you were embarrassed about it. 

He didn’t talk to you for a whole week until he saw you crying and understood that you were just ashamed of it, and you couldn’t even face Richard for how nervous you were. Eddie apologized to you, and held your hand afterwards, telling you to not consider that your first kiss, that it should be special and one you wanted.

You could feel your phone pinging, and you looked down to see Steve messaging you if you were okay, that Eddie didn’t look happy at all. You sighed as you opened your messages to type a reply back only to get a scoff from your partner inside the car.

“You’re with me right now, at least put the phone down.” Your eyebrows pinched together at that answer, looking at him as anger started rising up inside of you.

“You’re not even talking to me, you have no right to ask anything from me right now.” 

“Mmm.”

The air was now filled with anger, you could feel it because you were the one enraged now. Who did he think he was? Acting pissed just cause you didn’t tell him one thing? You were betting he didn’t tell you many things that he does at the parties he attends or the tours he does with his bands. 

Hypocrite. 

You texted Steve back, aiming the screen away from Eddie’s gaze.

And that’s how the thirty minutes passed by till Eddie finally got the jeep inside the underground parking lot of his building. You unbuckle your seatbelt, stepping out of the car at the same time Eddie did. The doors slamming echoed all over the immense space as Eddie headed towards the elevator, pressing the button to call it down. 

You were angry, nervous, anxious, confused, not understanding why Eddie was acting this way at all. You couldn’t even look at him as the elevator finally reached the floor, and he got in. You hesitated for a few seconds, but it was no use as he held the doors open with his broad hand.

You stepped in, and he pressed his floor, the metal doors closing in front of you. The small space was suffocating you. You could hear his angry and heavy breathing. Maybe you can play it off with a joke or something. Make the air a little lighter, trying to make the tense moment go away, but the distant look in his eyes made you think twice about that. 

You were fidgeting in your place with your purse in your hands. The elevator kept going up until it reached the penthouse at the top. It was over the top, but someone who didn’t have anything growing up, wants the best of the best when he has the opportunity to do so. So Eddie wanted the best of the building of course.

The elevator doors opened and he walked out first, walking towards the double doors of his home, typing in the password in his security lock. You heard the beeping of the numbers being punched in, and you groaned, walking out of the elevator as he opened the front door of his home.

You walked in right after him, taking in the scent of his cologne as he walked further in. You closed the door behind you and it automatically locked in place. It wasn’t that big of a penthouse, not really, and he filled it with his own stuff, his mugs, his records, his guitars. It was Eddie, even if it’s not the trailer back at Hawkins.

You waited for him to talk, only to see him walking away towards the hallway, going towards his bedroom, making you frown in anger. You followed him, stomping next to the couch where you dropped your purse, not caring for it anymore.

He was in front of his king-sized bed with black covers, taking his jacket off, not giving you a second glance. You clenched your jaw at how immature he was, all because you didn’t tell him one thing in your life. Just one.

“Are you gonna talk to me now, or are you going to keep being a little child?” His mouth dropped at your words as if he couldn’t believe you were talking to him that way. He slowly looked up at you, standing in the doorway of his room with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Me? Why don’t you talk sweetheart? Why didn’t you tell me about you and Stevie?” And your anger started bubbling up again. 

“Why does it matter!? I was drunk! And it was a while ago!” You answered as you waved your arms around in exclamation. 

“It matters cause you are my best friend, and you didn’t tell me you slept with one of our friends! It’s important shit!” Okay, you could see a little bit as to why he would be mad at you. The difference as to why you would not get mad at him for not telling you stuff like this, was because you would end up hurt if he did.

But he doesn’t end up hurt, because he doesn’t feel the same as you do.

“Eddie–”

“And with Steve! Why the fuck did it have to be him!?” Now this part, you didn’t understand.

“Why does it matter if it was with Steve?” He was pacing now, and you couldn’t help but feel confused by his attitude. Why is he so agitated over this? You didn’t tell him you slept with Steve, while drunk off your mind, big deal. He let out a scoff as his hands ran through his face, completely pissed, his nose flaring as he breathed heavily.

“Fuck Kitty, it’s not fucking fair!” You could see his hands shaking as he grunted at each step, and you were now worried. Did you do something you didn’t have to do? Was there something you didn’t know about Eddie and Steve? Some kind of pact or something of the sort? Did you mess up the friendship?

“What’s not fair!? Eddie, you are not making any fucking sense, and–” Your words were cut off as two strong hands held onto your cheeks, and your best friend’s face was inches away from you as he talked through his teeth.

“It is not fair he got to have you like that. It is not fair he had the chance of having you first. It is not fair he got what I’ve been wanting, for fucking years.”

And your words were knocked out of your lungs, as well as your air. 

There was no way he said that.

Because why would he?

But he just did, didn’t he? You weren’t deaf, you heard it–

“What?” Your voice was so small, and Eddie noticed, wincing slightly as he pulled away from you, letting go of your face and you immediately realized you spoke, and that he might have taken it as rejection but– what is going on?

You were frozen in your place, looking at how he backed away, running his hands all over his face as he started pacing back and forth, not even glancing at you as he took a few breaths in. You on the other hand, felt your heart in your throat, beating constantly, furiously, feeling as if you were going to pop a vein here and there for how strong you felt the pumping of your own blood course through your whole body.

You saw how he started to slow down his pacing, standing in one place, a meter or two away from you, and his eyes found yours. You could feel fear, sadness, and embarrassment in those eyes, all in one place, in those irises. 

“I– I really didn’t want to do this… this way…” He scoffed at his own words and shook his head with a fake chuckle on his lips. “Fuck, I didn’t even know I was ever going to do this.”

You were just speechless, feeling your eyes burning because it all led to what is obvious… But he never showed it in his life, so you don’t understand, it is not processing in your head as it should.

“Do… what?” It was a choked whisper, the best one you could master at this moment because your throat was just closed up, non-working. Your brain was a jumbled mess as it tried to put a puzzle together that you never thought was there to begin with.

His eyes darted towards you and then out the window as he licked his lips, thinking about his next words carefully. 

“You– You are my best friend… The fear of losing you is greater than any other feeling I hold inside.” He was struggling, you noticed the nervousness, the twitching of the tip of his fingers as he scratched his cheek.

“You won’t–”

“You can’t say I won’t lose you. I say these three words, and I won’t be able to go back, and you won’t be able to either. I’ve been holding them back for ten years, I can keep going if it means I get to keep you.” 

Three words. Three. Are those the same three words you hold dear? Those three words you’ve been fighting against for so many years? Three simple words but yet that can cause so much pain if you don’t receive them back? 

Could it be? 

Your mouth opened and closed, and you felt a tear rolling down your cheek, it was inevitable, and you saw how Eddie’s shoulder slumped down, his eyebrows knitting together in the middle in a frown. Sadness.

You had to speak. You have to fight the thrumming of your heart and the warning signs your brain is throwing your way to stop you. But Eddie and you already share one feeling. Fear. So what if there are other feelings you both share? Equal feelings?

“S-Say those words…” You pushed, you needed to make sure, you needed to hear them, you needed that happiness you never thought you would get with him. He shook his head once and twice, biting the inside of his cheek.

“No. I won’t. I can’t lose you Kitty… I can’t.” Your heart was ablaze because of nerves, of impatience, and of hope. You took a shaky breath in, your fist clenching and unclenching in order to hold back your own words.

“I– Please say them…” And as Eddie looked at you, you could see how his features softened and relaxed into a surprised expression, as if looking at you let him solve a riddle in his head. His adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he looked at you, swallowing, and you felt your bottom lip trembling, your eyes burning, your body almost shaking with anticipation.

You saw how his chest moved up and down in a quick manner, giving away how heavy his breathing turned. Your eyes were connected to his, trying to let him know, trying to make him have that courage to make the first step you are not confident enough to take. And then his shoulders relaxed, his features doing the exact same, and as he looked at you with glossy eyes, he opened his mouth to finally take the leap.

“I love you.” 

Silence overtook the two of you as the words sank. He loves you, and not as a friend. He loves you as a woman. He loves you as a partner. He loves you as much as you love him. He loves you. He loves you.

A sob ripped from your chest and you slammed your hand on your mouth, feeling new tears streaming down your face, but a smile was hiding behind your palm as you choked on another sob. Eddie’s face turned into a worried one as he took a step towards you, his hands ready to reach out for you and then you started giggling.

You couldn’t believe this. Were you that blind? Were you this stupid? Or maybe it was the two of you? Why were you the only one to blame when he also held these feelings for so long? You’re best friends for a reason, and this is the greatest example of it all. Pining for eachother since teenagers, evolving into love, and never giving any hints of it to one another. Not even flirty compliments, or insinuations.

You couldn’t help yourself as you kept giggling, eyes closed as one hand was over your mouth while the other gripped your stomach. Eddie was absolutely worried now, thinking you were losing your mind. All these years, you two could have done something about your feelings, but your insecurities fucked up your brains because, if it hadn’t, maybe one of you would have noticed something.

“This is so fucking stupid!” You yelled out loud, still laughing and Eddie only frowned as he straightened up, his arms crossing over his chest.

“Nice to know my love for you is stupid.” That made you stop laughing, only to look at his pissed-off frown and for you to burst into laughter again. The tears never stopped coming down, feeling your heart flying into the sky as you also felt the need to bang your head against a wall, repeatedly.

“I– I promise it’s not that!” You were trying to calm down, taking deep breaths in and out as you kept watching him. He wasn’t laughing, just staring at you with a hint of sadness, anger, and confusion. All together, which only prompted you to snort, another laugh threatening to come out. You raised your hand up to stop Eddie from lashing out. “Sorry!”

“Sorry? I confess my love to you and you laugh in my face. Do you even know how hurtful and disrespectful that is?” You could feel his words holding some truth, but you knew he was also finding the situation kind of comical. You waved your hands in front of you, small giggles escaping you still.

“You don’t understand, I can’t believe we are this stupid.” You snorted at the word and Eddie’s arms uncrossed, tilting his head to the side in wonder, an eyebrow raised up in question.

“Why are we stupid?” And you couldn’t help but start laughing again as new tears rolled down your cheeks, happiness just exploding from every part of your body.

“I mean, we were in love with eachother all these years, and we never knew? We really are fucking stupid Eds!” Your giggles stopped after those words came out of your mouth. Your eyes slowly found his as a ringing in your ears started being really loud, almost hurting you. His eyes were wide, incredulous, his arms dangling on the sides of his body.

“You– You’re in love with me?” His mouth was agape, staring at you with a perplexed expression as you felt your heart about to combust, only for him to start cracking up as well, slamming his hands over his face, his laughter bouncing on every wall of the room, and you couldn’t help but join him in it.

You both now know you are idiots, absolute fucking morons and you cannot believe you wasted all this time being only friends when you could have been more. The feelings were one and the same. The jealousy. The anger. The hopelessness. The yearning. The happiness. The need. The love. 

He let his hands drop from his face, a last shake of his head as he looked back at you. Your giggles slowly stopped, and you wiped the tears away from your eyes. This was real now. This was happening for you, for him, for your future. He took a step forward and the nerves were back all together. 

“Can’t believe we didn’t see it at all… I– honestly didn’t think I would ever have a chance after you signed that contract Eds…” You averted your gaze towards the floor as you took various breaths in, trying to control yourself again, center your mind back into reality, and push the shock away. He sighed at that, shaking his head once more even if you didn’t see him.

“I never thought I had a chance. I just thought and still think you are way too good for me sweetheart…” He cleared his throat as you frowned at that and looked up at him to hear him better. “I honestly… I had a bit of hope when I signed the contract. I thought I would finally be– good for you.” 

Your heart stopped and sunk into a deep sea, going to the darkest bits. Eddie felt that way with you? That he wasn’t good enough for you? That he had to be someone else in order to feel that he had a chance with you?

“Ed–Eddie, I didn’t care for that… I still don’t– I thought that you were the one out of reach… I– What chance would I have had with a rockstar that–” You didn’t want to finish that phrase. It was too embarrassing, but how could you not? How could you not compare yourself to all the women Eddie had after signing that contract? The models, the singers, the influencers… It was impossible not to do so.

He seemed to realize the doubt on your face because his features softened as he took a step closer to you, the tips of your shoes touching as he stood right before you. He scratched his cheek as he tried to find the next words.

“Well… we aren’t out of reach anymore… are we?” And your eyes found his, your heart in your throat as he licked his lips and you knew what was supposed to happen now. But–

“What if it’s weird?” He blinked two times before tilting his head and you wanted to drown in embarrassment.

“What would be weird?” His voice was a tone lower than before and it made you tremble a little, goosebumps rising on your skin.

“Well– We know eachother since we were ten… What if you find it weird to kiss me?” And it almost looked like Eddie could not believe what you were saying. 

“Sweetheart… I’ve been dying to kiss you since I can even remember.” You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks burn up, looking down with a small smile on your face. He bit his bottom lip and cleared his throat, making you look up at him once more. “We’ll just see where it goes, how about that?”

You were afraid of that because what if it really happened that he would back out cause he felt it too weird for him? Or what if you weren’t of his expectations? What if you let him down? But you would never know unless– 

“Okay…” The word ‘nervous’ runs a little short of what you were feeling. You had your own expectations of this moment, but you knew he would fill every single one of them and exceed them. Now for you? You weren’t so sure. 

“Trust me Kitty…” He gave you a nervous, yet charming smile as he finally invaded your space and leaned. You closed your eyes and waited, feeling your whole body about to collapse. You expected his lips on your lips, but you felt them on your cheek. You opened your eyes with confusion plastered in them to see Eddie grinning.

“Eds…?”

“Weird?” You giggled at that, feeling your nerves slowly leaving you.

“Nope.” He smiled as he guided his lips towards your other cheek, placing another kiss there. You two have shared kisses on the face before. Cheeks, foreheads, nose… All innocent, and now, the kisses had a completely different meaning.

“How about that?” You rolled your eyes at him and shook your head, and your heart was already thrumming with impatience instead of nerves. His smile faltered a bit but it never left as he finally leaned towards your lips. You took a deep breath in, closing your eyes at the same time he closed his. 

And finally, your lips touched for the very first time.

It was small, nervous, testing, but it still sent an electric shock down both of your bodies. Simultaneously. Your lips fit perfectly against his, and it felt right. It felt so right. He pulled away too soon, but his lips hovered over yours as he opened his eyes to look at you. You looked at him through your lashes.

“Not weird…” You mumbled and he only hummed, his own heart exploding. He tilted his head to the other side and pressed his lips against yours again, this time a little firmer than before. You felt your body craving to wrap itself around him, but you two were testing this new development. You had to be patient, but from the looks of it, it seemed Eddie was also enjoying it like you were.

And there was no lie in that because Eddie felt like he was combusting from how much he felt his body flush. He felt sweat on his fingertips and he just wanted to hold you in his arms, but just like yourself, he needed your green light. He slowly pulled away from that peck, a soft smack being heard in the room as you two looked at eachother again.

“Weird?” He asked in a whisper, and you shook your head desperately as you felt your eyes becoming glossy with need as you looked at him. 

And he dove in. This kiss was harder, deeper, and his hands finally reached out to hold your waist, pulling you closer, and you responded by raising your arms in order to wrap them around his neck, flushing your chest against his, and finally, your lips moved against eachother’s, and it felt magical. 

It felt like that puzzle piece you thought you would never find, but it was hidden in a very small corner, underneath a carpet. His arms wrapped around you, one palm on the small of your back and the other right in the middle. You felt how hot your body was getting but you couldn’t stop yourself, needing more and more from him.

He deepened the kiss even more, pressing you into him, wanting to feel more of you. Your heads moved from side to side, and he was going to be greedy and ask for more. His tongue darted out to lick your bottom lip, making your heart jump and a small gasp escaped your throat, but you opened your mouth to welcome him in.

And you two sighed in pleasure as your tongues clashed together, having a taste of eachother for the first time. You tasted like strawberries and beer thanks to your lipgloss, mints, and the alcohol you two had earlier in the night. He tasted like you always imagined he would. Tobacco, and this kind of minty taste that must be from the flavor sphere inside the filters of his cigarettes. Beer was also mixed in, and one of your hands couldn’t help but scratch the back of his neck for more grip, making him groan into the kiss.

You were surprised by the noise, but a moan escaped your mouth and into his as your breasts rubbed against his chest and his tongue danced with yours. You felt yourself sweating with anticipation, the track of time disappearing as you two melted more and more into eachother, but air was soon needed and you two broke apart, panting onto one another’s lips. His eyes were staring into yours and he gulped as he spoke again.

“Told you. Not weird.” He sounded breathless, and you could feel his heart thrumming in his chest, in fact, you didn’t even know if it was yours. You chased his lips and gave him a soft peck, your eyes half-lidded in bliss. He gave you a cheeky smile as he talked in a low voice. “Already can’t get enough of me Kitty?”

You were flustered, burning, but you wanted to show him how much you wanted him. So you kissed him again, deep, long, and slow. It was loving and filled with the emotions you wanted to shower him with for the past ten years. You pulled away with a small smile on your face as he stared at you, a little taken aback.

“Never going to get enough of you.” And you could see your best friend, this insane rockstar, blushing a deep red on his cheeks and you couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re red!”

His cheeks lose the color, just slightly, and his eyes squint at you, annoyance displayed in his features. Your smile fell down and before you could even speak, he bent down slightly in order to hook his arm around your waist and throw you over his shoulder as he stood up again. You screamed at that movement, your legs flailing a little bit as he walked towards his room.

“Cocky little shit.” He chuckled and in just one minute you were facing the floor, the other you were facing the ceiling as his mattress hit your back, making you bounce slightly. You felt butterflies flying all around inside your stomach as you raised yourself on your elbows in order to look at him.

His eyes were dark as he scanned your body, the dress you were wearing hitched up a bit on the middle of your thighs and before you could say anything, he leaned forward to help you take your sandals off. His fingers grazed your ankles and a shiver ran from your calf to the top of your head. You saw how he took each boot off with the help of the tips on the heels. He looked at you and then finally got on the bed, crawling on all fours on top of you, prompting you to lean back onto the bed.

Your breathing was fast as you looked up at him. Those brown eyes that have been with you since kids, and now, those eyes were looking at you with hunger, but was it really new? He leaned his body down, a bit closer, still not wanting to press his chest nor hips against yours.

“Kitty… We don’t have to do anything–” And you cut him off there with a shake of your head. He might have gotten the wrong idea because of your possible shocked facial expression.

“No, no… I– I want to…” He tilted his head with doubt as he inspected your face which only became hotter and hotter at the intense stare.

“You don’t sound too sure. We don’t have to do this now–”

“Eddie, I want to… God, I want to– I mean, have you seen you? I have a hidden maxi-size poster of your half-naked rolling stone cover just because your pelvis showed…” He snorted at your bluntness but seriously, it was the hottest you’ve seen Eddie look. The V shape with the happy trail going downwards, just where the edge of the cover ended was enough to make you have so many fantasies in the lapse of a minute.

“Alright. Good to know… So, is it just nerves? Cause, I am nervous too… I mean, it’s you… I built this up in my head a thousand times and it’s finally here and honestly? I am kind of afraid of busting in my pants.” You giggled at that, wholeheartedly too and he just kept smiling at you, brushing some hair off your face. You stopped laughing and gulped as shame crept all over your body.

You can trust him. It’s Eddie, and he loves you… He will understand you, there’s no need to be scared. The nervousness and anxiety of laying yourself out there to him didn’t calm itself down though, but you had to reassure him that it wasn’t him at all, nor the fear of it being weird.

“I– I just… do you mind… having the lights off?”

And that seemed to throw Eddie back. His eyebrows came to the middle in a confused frown as he looked down at you, trying to understand you. You looked away from him and you felt your eyes glossing over as more embarrassment came over your body.

“Kitty, I– Why do you want them off?” He will respect you, always, but he wants the answer out of your lips to make sure he hadn’t done anything to make you think he didn’t think you were at least pretty, but he always complimented you. Obviously, friendly compliments, not telling you the actual amount of things he wanted to say to you.

“Um… I– Well… um… I am different from all the– flings you had in the past two years…” You couldn’t look at him. You sounded so stupid, so little, but you had to be honest with him. You don’t want to have a terrified look on your face just because you pushed yourself to do it with the lights on. Eddie blinked a few times, his head shaking softly.

“Come again?” You cleared your throat, feeling as if it were closing up slowly. You have no smooth skin or toned body.

Adiposities, cellulite, stretchmarks, stretched skin, textured in every place you could look at. 

“I’m… nothing like those girls– those bodies, I don’t–” You didn’t want him to look at your body. You aren’t insecure, not always… but you know who Eddie slept with, and the insecurity with him is on another kind of level.

Eddie was stunned as he looked down at you. You compared yourself… and maybe all this time you had been doing so, and he never noticed. Were you hurting in some kind of way? Was he the reason you weren’t confident enough to talk to him about your feelings towards him? 

You gulped as you looked at him when you didn’t receive any answer. He seemed concerned, deep in thought, and you wondered if you had already driven him away with just your mere words. You opened your mouth to talk but he was faster.

“You think you are inferior to them?” His eyes were filled with confusion and some type of sadness, making you frown with worry, but he kept talking before you could even ask. “Sweetheart… Kitty, oh my god…”

You blinked a few times, trying to understand his facial expressions that were changing every second. From angry, to confused, to incredulous, to sad… you weren’t understanding what was going through his head.

“What is it?”

“What is it? Fuck… I don’t want to be blunt, but I feel like if I’m not you won’t understand one single bit of what’s going on in my head so…” He cleared his throat as a blush spread on his cheeks while looking down at you. “You have no idea how many times I popped a boner with you.”

That was not something you expected to hear, not right now, and certainly not from him.

“What?” He groaned followed by a sigh as he kept hovering over your body. You could feel the heat of his body radiating towards yours, and you could feel your blood rushing to your face, or probably your head.

“What I said. I popped a boner many times, even when we were at your house watching Sleepaway Camp and you had those pajamas on that had kittens all over… I covered my crotch with a pillow.” He chuckled to hide his nervousness but your mind was still trying to work out what he was saying.

“I– Pajamas?” He looked into your eyes and he gave you one slow nod.

“And don’t let me get started on the pool parties. One piece, two piece… Even when you didn’t even take anything off, and fuck– This sundress? I had to tuck myself when a little bit of wind helped me see the back of your thighs… Just the back of your thighs darling!” He was exasperated now, his eyes wild as he rambled but your mind had shut off.

You? You got him worked up? Today? And before? Even when in the most clothed situations? He looked your way? 

“Really…?” Your voice came out smaller than what you intended but you couldn’t help it. You were feeling emotional, this revelation trying to sit in your brain as it tried to push the possibility of Eddie actually being attracted to you after the women he’s been with away. His eyes softened and he moved a hand towards your cheek to caress it in a soft manner.

“Really. You drive me absolutely insane…” His eyes turned slightly darker and you noticed the air around the two of you change, shift into something that made you feel a little light-headed. “Will you let me show you just how insane you make me?”

And your body went limp at his question, a hunger in the eyes of your best friend that you never thought would ever be directed to you. 

But maybe those eyes were always there, just not when you were looking. Glances he stole at you at prom after picking you up himself and going together. His eyes scanning your body when you appeared in a long shimmery dress for one of his first award shows, something that made people speculate you two were dating, but then the paparazzis did their job to dismiss that. 

Feelings mixed with pure desire and lust that felt wrong to even experience. He watched you become a woman right before his own eyes, growing up together, graduating together after two failed attempts on Eddie’s part, and even with the different future paths, you a veterinarian and he a rockstar, you never lost touch.

But now… now there is no need to feel guilt. No restraints because the line was already crossed.

So you gave him a slow nod despite the nervous look on your face. Is there a possibility for Eddie to want you just as much as he says he does? More than Megan Fox? Than that chick from that rock band that opened his shows and that is exactly like him and a better match? How is there even a chance?

Your thoughts came to a halt as you felt his face lowering in order to take your lips with his, your mind short circuiting as the kiss wasn’t shy at all like the previous one. It was instantly deep, passionate, and desperate. Teeth almost knocking with eachother as your heads moved from side to side, your arms wrapping around his shoulders wanting to feel him closer.

He chuckled into the kiss, and he pulled away with a soft smack of the lips, a confused whimper escaping your lips to then gasping when his head ducked even further and his kiss was now on your neck, on your pulse point. 

“You have no idea how much I have wanted to mark you. All the guys that flirted with you, or were your hookups… I just wanted to mark your neck so that they would back off.” He mumbled on your neck and your eyes widened at that, your thighs rubbing against eachother below him for some friction.

And you would be lying if you didn’t think of doing the same. The roaring of the word ‘MINE’ whenever a girl got close to Eddie back in school was insanely big inside your head. But as the years went by, that voice only got softer, slower, until he told you the first fling he had after the contract was signed. That voice said a few last words before disappearing, ‘Maybe he is not mine, and never will be.’.

But now– It’s back, and stronger than ever.

“Then mark me Eds… But–” And it was risky, but you wanted it, you needed it, you needed everyone, absolutely everyone to know he is yours. “Only if you let me mark you back.”

And his kisses stopped, surprised by your boldness, the jeans straining a little more to the point of it being almost painful. Is he going to get yelled at by Joyce and Wayne? His two managers? Most likely. Does he care? Not a fucking chance. Not now, not ever. A smile formed on his lips as he mumbled against your skin.

“Deal.” And his lips pressed again against your pulse point. You were afraid of your sounds, but a moan almost got out when his lips pressed pecks until you felt him sucking on your skin. He was going to make sure to brand you as his. For real. His breath was heavy as he inhaled with his nose, loving the taste of you and how your nails dug into his nape and the other pair onto his shoulder.

He repeated it, three times to be exact, leaving you with deep red marks that went downwards a bit. He pulled away to look at his art, a smile on his lips as he saw how dazed you already looked as you tried to level your breathing back to a normal pace. You looked beautiful like this, and he was opening his mouth in order to ask if you were ready to keep going, but you broke silence first with a giggle.

“It tickled.” His heart only clenched a bit more at you, thinking that you couldn’t look cuter, or more endearing than you were now, but you always surprise him, don’t you? He smirked as he leaned forward, nose touching with yours, making your giggles stop completely.

“Can you stop being adorable for a second? I’m trying to be sexy here.” You really didn’t know if you had a face anymore because you just felt it combust in flames. He chuckled at watching your expression, even if his own matched with yours. “Can I keep going?”

You gulped and slowly nodded, but his eyes started tracing your neck and going downwards. You wondered what was going on and then they finally landed on your sundress. His hand raised to press against your waist and his eyes met with yours once more, pupils completely dilated with desire.

“Eddie?”

“Kitty… Can we keep the lights on?” Your heart stopped at that, your hands clenching on his shoulders and you felt your whole body break into a cold nervous sweat.

“I– I thought we were still going to keep the lights off–” And he shook his head, his eyes looking down towards the top of your sundress, a feral side of him coming to light and that he never thought he wouldn’t be able to control it when it came to you.

“We’ll do whatever you want but– Baby, I want to see the body I’ve been craving all these years. I want to see every detail, even a freckle I might have missed, or a mole in a place that I never thought I would see before…” You saw how his eyes traveled all over your body, the hand on your waist giving a press every now and then when his eyes landed at particular places.

You could feel it, even in the midst of your anxiety, that desire that wants to eat you alive, inch by inch, and your own need grows from it. His eyes are not lying, his body language is not lying, his touches, his words, his overall energy, are not lying to you. He wants you. Eddie wants you and has always wanted you. 

And that brings you an ounce of confidence. Even if small, it was enough to take the first step–

“Okay…” And his eyes snapped back towards yours, his uneasiness overlapping with his excitement.

“No– No, we don’t have to do something you don’t feel comfortable with because of my selfishness sweetheart–” 

“You– You promised you would show me…” And if you didn’t do the lights now, they would be on at some other point, wouldn’t they? You just had to rip the bandaid off. His head started turning, trying to see which was the best way to show you his true feelings, and he decided on a different approach than what he thought would be the most appropriate one.

He got a knee between yours, nudging on them. You looked down in surprise but followed the queue and parted your left leg away, very slowly, afraid of the sundress driving up even more than before. His eyes weren’t leaving your face though, needing to see your reaction as he pressed his knee against your right leg as well.

Your heart rate picked up, and the butterflies in your belly probably ate your stomach up at this point. You swallowed your nerves as you parted your right leg as well, and he was finally able to get his knees between your legs. He took a sharp courageous breath, letting a nervous sigh out, and pressed his hips against yours. 

You gasped and an electric current shot from your core to every single end nerve of your body. His bulge was harshly pressed against your center, and he groaned at finally having some friction against the strain. He was hard. He was rock hard for you.

His lips found yours in a soft peck, only to then kiss the corner of your mouth as he rolled his hips against yours and for the first time in the night, a little moan escaped your lips. The press was delicious on your clit, but it only was building your need for him, slowly, clouding your mind, your sight, your thoughts.

He groaned onto your skin, almost a growl, as his kisses traveled further into the crook of your neck. His hips kept rolling, getting a little lost in it all, drunkenness from finally having you hitting him at full blast. He sucked on places he hadn't before and he nibbled on the soft skin, making another moan escape you which only makes him twitch.

“You are the only one I’ve ever truly wanted… In every single possible way, you can imagine.” It was a low mumble, but it was enough for you to be able to hear it and for your arms to wrap around him, nails digging into his back, grabbing onto the black shirt, pulling on it at every roll of his lower half. 

He pulled away from your neck and raised himself on his knees, making your arms fall back down onto the mattress. He crossed his arms, reaching for the hem of his shirt and immediately ripping it away and throwing it across the room.

Your eyes widened when you saw his torso, his belly, the happy trail you have fantasized about so many times with, after that stupid magazine cover. His chest, which only had that skull and spider back in high school, was now littered with many random pieces, as well as his arms, even his hands. 

He was gorgeous, perfect, and has always been to your eyes, but now he is not only that but shining as if he were polished gold. Your eyes were all over his belly button and the V shape on his hips, not noticing the eyes that were looking at you with a smirk on his lips. Your eyes went downwards to the bulge on his pants and your eyes widened as you propped yourself up on your elbows to look at it better.

“Holy shit, I thought you were bluffing Eddie!” It wasn’t exactly a bulge… His dick was so hard that you could see the outline of his length as it pressed sideways against the restrictive pants. And–

“Whenever I said I was big, I meant it, and I also repeated it so many times to see if you showed any interest!” He almost yelled in a high-pitched voice which only made you giggle only to stop when you noticed his eyes scanning your every inch, making you gulp loudly. His hand reached down, fingers playing with the hem of your dress.

You two had seen eachother’s upper bodies, but in completely different situations. This wasn’t some nice summer’s day at a pool. He will see everything, and he wants to properly scan you, touch you, feel you. But– Fuck, the images of all those women pop in your head again, comparing yourself to them, their bodies, their futures, their ambitions, and their wealth. 

You close your eyes tightly, waiting for the tug of the shirt in order to help him by lifting your upper body from the mattress, but his fingers let go of the dress, and that warm touch suddenly appears on your cheek. You opened your eyes to meet his. He was giving you a small reassured smile as he looked down at your face, pupils that gave you safety and filled you with warmth.

You noticed his fingers were slightly trembling and you realized that Eddie was just as nervous as you were. He leaned down to press a soft kiss on your lips, making you moan in delight at feeling him this close once more. He chuckled in between and pulled away moments after in order to talk again.

“I compared myself with Steve today.” And your eyebrows raised at that in surprise. 

“What? Why?” He couldn’t help but scoff at your question and he kneeled back up in between your legs, letting you prop yourself up on your elbows. He motioned all over himself and then looked back at you as if it were obvious.

“I am not exactly like him, baby. Steve has no tattoos, wears sunshine clothes, rich boy clothes, listens to pop music, and is a tidy guy… I am nothing like that sweetheart.” You were shocked at those words… Eddie? With who he is now, doubting himself?

“B-But… you– you didn’t have to worry–”

“I know that now… so let me show you just how much you don’t have to worry either. Please…” He was looking down at your face, waiting for a response. Your heart soared into the sky at those words, and despite your nervousness, there was a side of you that trusted Eddie blindly, and it was whispering to you that you should let him. Let him show you what he means by all of that.

So you slowly sit up and cross your arms in order to grab the hem of your dress and before you could say anything or stop, you yanked it upwards, throwing it to the side. Your eyes were not looking at him, not wanting to see the reaction to your body. A body he is not used to having anymore. It’s not firm, or perky, or smooth, markless, spotless. It’s full of those.

Instead, you felt fingers on your chin that made you lift your head up so you could look at Eddie once more. He was smiling softly as he leaned and kissed you, softly and gently. You felt yourself being lowered again, back hitting against the mattress, while one of his hands pressed onto your waist and the other helped with the leverage of moving you down.

His lips broke apart from yours and your body was burning from the small interaction only for a cold sweat to invade you as you saw him straighten up again and his eyes locked on your body. The visible part of your breasts above the cups of your bra, your shoulders, your tummy, your hips, and you needed to cover your body, or at least your face to not see his reaction.

But your eyes caught onto the twitch of pain in his eyebrows as he groaned softly into his throat. You could see his jaw clench, and a vein in his neck popping out slightly as he swallowed hard. 

“Eds–?”

“I’m sorry– I can’t hold myself back, I’m sorry.” And his hand quickly went to his jeans, unbuttoning them and zipping them down, a sigh of relief coming out and then, with an almost animalistic growl, he lunged back down on you, his lips taking yours in a ravishing kiss. Hot, rough, deep, moving at a quick desperate pace. You were thrown off at the intensity but quickly reciprocated as the butterflies in your belly exploded in retaliation.

His kiss only made the fire worse and you wrapped your arms around his neck to have something to hold on to as you raised your hips up to meet his, needing some kind of friction. You moaned into the kiss when his bulge rubbed against your clothed pussy. He grunted and bit your bottom lip gently as if to reprimand you for the action. 

His lips traveled south and you expected them back on your neck, but they kept moving, kissing on your collarbone, and then the top of one of your breasts. You gasped and arched your back slightly as his hips kept rutting against yours, slow but still very needy. His lips went to your other breast only to then continue down, kissing your chest and downwards to your tummy, his hips leaving yours as he moved down, sending shivers all over your body and you could feel the goosebumps rising up on your skin.

His hands were now gripping your hips, fingers digging on your skin, dipping into it as if he were clawing into something to keep himself centered. His lips traveled all over your tummy, and your waist, groans leaving his mouth as he bit onto your side, a nibble, causing you to jump. He was being so… needy, and desperate, something you never experienced before. 

He moved upwards again, his lips not leaving your skin, but his body moving up again as one hand traveled all the way towards your back, making you arch it upwards a little bit. You felt his fingers play with the clasp of your bra and he kept kissing over the cups of it, making you mewl a little as you felt yourself clench in anticipation.

“Eddie–”

“Please, let me see more… Please, sweetheart?” His eyes were cloudy in the darkness of lust as he raised his head up, chin resting on your chest with his mouth hanging slightly open. You gulped a bit but you felt a certain power in you that you didn’t think you would feel with him. Some kind of confidence rises up inside your chest. 

“Yeah…” You fully arch your back so he can have more movement to snap your bra open in one movement. You lay back down once he takes his hand out and immediately it grabs onto the strap of your left shoulder to push it down, surprising you by how quickly he was moving, as if he weren’t thinking anymore, just acting.

He makes a cup move out of the way, revealing your perked-up nipple, making you flush a bit in embarrassment but also in arousal, as you feel the cold air hit it a bit. You can’t even think far enough that his lips circle around it, your nipple being sucked into his mouth as his tongue presses on it. His hand was roughly grabbing onto your breast to keep it still and you squirmed beneath him as pleasure filled your senses.

You let a moan out when his teeth grazed the tip of your nipple, and his own satisfaction showed when a groan got stuck in his throat. His hips started moving against you again, the shape of his dick rubbing deliciously against your heat, over and over, destroying your underwear each second it passed but you couldn’t care less. 

With a ‘pop’ he let go of your left nipple in order to raise up and rip your bra off your body finally. Now, without the elastics of your bra, you know your breasts are not in perfect shape, gravity, changes of weight, and the years doing their job with your skin. The stretch marks pronounced around the nipple area, which made you a little self-conscious only for that thought to be thrown out the window when Eddie talked once more, almost in a whine.

“The most perfect pair of tits I’ve ever seen baby, so fucking perfect, jesus christ…” You felt a wave of embarrassment at the dirty talking. You will have to get used to how it makes you feel coming from your best friend’s mouth. But he sounded so delighted as if he were drunk, staring at them, back and forth, trying to decide if he should go for the other neglected nipple but then his eyes hit your surprised ones, and you see how they widen in realization.

“A– Are they?” And he covered his face with one hand to cover up his reddened cheeks. 

“I uh… Yeah, I just– Fuck, I said that out loud, didn’t I?” And you couldn’t help but giggle, making your breasts jiggle a bit at your laughter, his eyes flickering to them instinctively. 

“Well, glad to know that…” And you honestly were. No one has ever looked at you the way Eddie was doing right now, so desperately, wanting to ravish you but waiting for you to give him the green light to do so. The fire inside of you and all over your body needed to be extinguished, and you also had to show him how eager you were for him, your own patience after ten long years wearing thin.

You sat up, looking up at him as your fingers hooked on his boxers and jeans. He licked his lips nervously, his eyes scanning your face as he gulped harshly, his hands moving to go over yours and help you drag down his clothes. 

Your head slowly moved downwards when you felt his bulge forbidding you to move the boxers even lower, prompting you to stretch the elastic even more and your eyes widened when you finally saw him. His cock slaps against his belly, and your face must be one of awe because Eddie had to clear his throat to center you back to reality.

“Um, you okay there?” He tried to say it with a hint of comedy, humor, but he was nervous, just so fucking nervous. 

You two know eachother since kids, and even with that thought in mind, it doesn’t feel weird to be right here with you like this, knowing what the two of you were about to do. But maybe you don’t think the same. Now seeing him completely naked might make you rethink what the two of you were doing, thinking about the past, about what–

He hissed in surprise when he felt your hand over his shaft, your thumb pressing onto his red leaking tip, causing him to lock eyes with you again. You were smiling up at him, an innocent little grin that stirred the lust inside of him and renewed it. He was big in your hand, that you were slowly moving, lazily, feeling the warmth of it on your palm. 

You wanted to dart your tongue out, feeling like being a little filthy, show him how eager and needy of him you were. You were looking at the tip, your eyes clouded with desire, and your mouth started to open, only for Eddie’s hand to press on your cheek to make you look up at him.

“As much as I would love for you to make one of my many wet dreams about you come true, I don’t want to lose the small bit of dignity I have left.” You tilted your head in confusion at that only to be pushed back onto the mattress, making you bounce on it, opening your eyes after you gasped to see Eddie taking off his clothes, and almost falling off the edge of the bed in the action, making you snort, covering your mouth after he sent a glare your way.

“I’m sorry Eds, but– I think you just lost that dignity you mentioned.” You giggled and he growled as he crawled over you, his finger hooking into the elastic of your underwear, yanking it and letting go so it hit against your skin, making you yelp at the 

little sting.

“Don’t mock me now.” Your giggles stopped when you met his dark eyes, just looking down into yours, his head tilting to the side. “Can I keep going or are you going to keep laughing at me? I am on a mission, Kitty.”

Your eyebrows frowned in confusion as you stirred a bit below him. Before you could ask, his face went back to the crook of your neck where he could continue with the soft featherlight kisses and as you were about to close your eyes, you felt his fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear once more, making your breath hitch.

You felt him nibble on your pulse point at the same time his fingers sneaked in, a little bit of self-consciousness filled you when you realized you hadn’t shaved properly, just trimmed, and maybe those women he slept with had the laser hair removal you cannot afford. You opened your mouth to apologize but the words were stolen away when his index finger grazed your clit softly, yet perfect.

“Eddie–” You breathed out, and he only gave a low humming with satisfaction as he felt how wet you were for him. He was twitching, wanting to rub himself on you to relieve himself a bit, the friction very much needed but– he wanted to do this. He wanted to make you come undone underneath him, show you just how good he could be for you, how eager he is to give you pleasure.

His middle finger pressed on your clit, a little harder now, slow and lazy circles being done as your breathing turned into held in moans, and whimpers as your hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. Yeah, mark him. Mark him. He wants you to mark him, just like he always had wanted you to do.

“So fucking perfect for me– I’ve always known but fuck–” You whimpered at his words, trembling underneath him as he kept rubbing you, deliciously so. His mouth left your throat to then peck your collarbone and shift a bit lower, his back arching so his lips could land on your left nipple. 

His middle finger ran through your slit, coating it with your wetness before slowly starting to nudge inside. At the same time, his mouth started sucking and flicking your hardened nipple with his tongue, causing you to throw your head back onto the pillow, a strangled moan escaping your lips, making him smile with victory against your breast as his finger was engulfed by your warmth.

He couldn’t help but groan at the feel of you, reaching deep, his dreams and imagination out of the window as you gave another whimper when he pulled his finger out, only to plunge it inside again, easily. He needed to worship you. He wanted to make you cum on his fingers, on his tongue, many times, putting you first above everything, needing to hear you moan his name repeatedly… but your breathy moans make it hard to be patient.

He pulled out of your cunt in order to rub his ring finger along his middle one now, rubbing fast-paced circles on your clit, making your hips jerk against him. He had to bite his bottom lip as he raised himself a bit to look down at your face. Your eyes were clenched as moans started coming out of your mouth, embarrassment no longer in you about those. He groans at the angry twitch of his dick. 

He licked his lips as he slowly started pressing both his fingers inside of you, stretching you, preparing you. You gasped when he got them inside of you in one move, eyes opening to see him looking down at you with a fucked out look on his face. Your eyes were teary because of the pleasure, face, and body burning up in a thousand degrees. 

“Eds…” You called him out as he pulled his fingers back out and then in again, the palm of his hand slamming against your clit, making your back arch at it as he kept repeating the action, his pace increasing. You could hear the squelching now, making you slightly embarrassed but the pleasure he is giving you right now completely overshadows it.

“Yeah, baby?” You whimpered at the nickname, loving the way it sounded in his mouth, the nickname you always fantasized about. Imagining his voice saying it to you in random moments, but mostly in these kinds of situations, where he was slowly breaking you apart.

“P-Please–” What were you begging for? You didn’t know. You weren’t that talkative during sex, but… you wanted Eddie to know, or hear you, anything. Just let him know you were feeling good. You gasped a moan out when his fingers curled, the squelching becoming even nastier, filthier, but he was hitting that spot that you sometimes have a hard time figuring out. “O-Oh fuck–!”

“Found it.” He said with a smug smirk as he saw how you clenched your eyes again, moaning louder, one of your hands shooting out to grip the sheets while the other dug into his bicep, tightly. Your legs were shaking as he kept going, his fingers just making you clench around him, your pussy being filled and satisfied.

“I’m– more, more!” He was surprised by your words, not knowing if you were normally vocal or not, but fuck if it wasn’t hot. He groaned as he leaned down to your right nipple, engulfing it with his teeth and giving a soft pull, pressing his palm against your clit in order to move his hand up and down. His fingertips rub your G-spot while the heel of his hand rubs against your clit.

Your eyes widen at the new feeling. It was raw, rough, desperate, and he moaned against your skin as you started fluttering around him, the pressure building in your belly like never before. It was going quickly, a fire that was spreading, not letting you run away. You were almost crying out his name as you kept trembling underneath him. He pulled away from your nipple in order to hover over you, his nose nudging yours.

“You close, love?” You whined at the nickname as your hips met the thrust of his fingers. He gave you a soft kiss, the opposite of what he was doing in the lower part of your body. The elastic band was stretching and stretching, your belly contracting at the pressure. Your moans came out in sharp breaths, chest heaving up and down as now both your hands flew to his shoulders as your back arched against him.

“Yes– Yes– Eddie, Eddie, baby–” And the elastic band snapped while Eddie moaned at the nickname, the first time you called him that and not his name. Your walls clenched tightly around his fingers and he moaned with delight as you spasmed underneath him, his dick threatening to finally shoot his seed, not being able to hold it back anymore, but he held back, with all of his strength.

Your moan was loud, satisfaction rushing all over your body as you trembled, legs giving up almost. You felt his fingers still moving, helping you ride it out, until you slowly calmed down, a few twitches of your legs here and there. It was probably the best orgasm you received… for now. He slowed his movements as he stared down at you, a pleased smile on his face as you opened your eyes to look at him, your breaths heavy.

“So? How was that?” He cocked his head to the side as he gave you one more thrust and you whined at the overstimulation, your hips moving away slightly and he got the clue so he pulled his fingers out of you. You looked at how he took his hand out of your underwear, the wet fingers grazing your pelvis slightly and you looked at how he raised his fingers to his mouth and your eyes widened.

“You–” You couldn’t even finish your sentence when his fingers entered his own mouth. No person had ever done that to you. So eager to taste you that they licked their fingers with so much delight. He moaned at the taste and he cursed at himself for not going down on you. But maybe he can have a small taste…

“Couldn’t help myself Kitty. Needed to know, and I am gonna grow addicted to it, I can already tell.” He raised himself back up on his knees and you looked down to see him still hard, and you winced with embarrassment.

“Let me do something Eddie–” He shook his head at you, his fingers digging into the elastic of your underwear, pulling it away. Your face flushed as you raised your hips up and– He will see it. What if it’s not pretty? What if there’s something he doesn’t like? Or too bushy, or maybe–

But as soon as your underwear is off, and you lay bare beneath him, he can’t help but tremble as his hand reaches his length. The number of times he had imagined you like this, there’s not even a way of counting them. It’s years of imagination, of dreams, of songs he wrote about your body. Songs you might not even know they’re about you. 

You didn’t know what to do as he stared down at you, wanting to close your legs but he was in between them. Your eyes widened when he scanned your body and he started to slowly stroke himself, just soft grazes. Was he touching himself by just looking at you? Did he do that before? Were you the protagonist of some dirty dreams he had?

He suddenly moves backwards, just three small movements with his knees, away from you. You tilt your head as you raise yourself on your elbows to look at him. His body bends down and your eyes widen when his eyes cannot leave your center, wetness all around, and he just looks drunk. 

“I’m sorry, can’t help myself…” It was his soft mumble as he gave a pointed lick in between your folds, and you groaned as your hips bucked towards him. He moaned as he gathered some of your juices, gulping them down and straightening again. 

Your eyes locked again, and the need was worse than it ever was before. The desire burning you both alive. It prompted Eddie to move quickly from in between your legs, his knees guiding him slightly to the side so he could reach over and open the drawer of his night table. You turned your head to watch how he took an unopened box of condoms. 

He cursed when he couldn’t open it from how nervous he suddenly got. He was finally going to get what he had always wanted, and now that it’s here… His thoughts were cut off when he felt your soft hands engulfing his, taking the box in your grasp, thumb pressing onto one edge to pop it open. 

He gave you a smile, a fond, caring one, and took the box once more, pulling a foil out. He moved again, his hands gripping your knees that had closed slightly, reopening them with a tut as he placed himself in between. You looked at how he ripped the foil open with his teeth, throwing it somewhere, and then rolled the latex over himself. 

Your heart was on your throat now, knots of nerves inside of your belly, needing to simply detangle or explode. He looked down at you and crawled on top of you, his forearms coming to rest on either side of your head in order to support himself over your body. His nose nudged yours, a hum vibrating in his throat.

“You okay princess?” He asked and you sighed in delight, giving a small nod.

“Yeah… you?”

“I’m fucking nervous.” He admitted, no playfulness in his tone and it surprised you. “But I am also very excited.”

And you decided to be the one to diffuse the tension a little bit this time. You raised your hips and rubbed your center along his shaft, coating it with your wetness, making him groan and raise an eyebrow at you. A smirk played on your lips as you looked at your best friend.

“I can feel that alright.” And Eddie’s lips turned into a smile, his eyes filled with love just as much as yours were. One of his arms left the mattress to get in between you two, grabbing onto his cock, and rubbing the tip of it against your folds and clit, making you whimper. 

“Bratty little shit.” And his hips pressed in, his arm returning to the same position as before, and your mouths fell into an ‘o’ shape, a choked breath in your throats as he slowly thrusts himself inside of you, inch by inch. 

Electricity ran all over your body, on every nerve and artery, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. You could feel it everywhere, every single thing in the world making sense for some reason. You didn’t care about anything else but him at this moment. Him and how he felt as he slowly filled you, finally, after so long. Your legs raised up, thighs pressing against his sides as the heels of your feet dug into his hips.

He moaned when half of his cock was already inside of you and he cursed when he felt himself twitch. He had to hold it back for a little longer, he needed this to be perfect. He needed to make this last, though, he knew this wouldn’t be the last time. He hoped it would be the first time of many.

His lips desperately pressed against yours as his hips kept pressing in, deeper and deeper and you wondered how much you could possibly take as he stretched you open, your wetness making it all a little easier. There was a small pressure, a little sting at the sudden intrusion but it was still so delicious.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you kissed him back, hands moving to his hair and you remembered the bun he had on. It was a little loose, and you wanted to see his mane all over his face, just like the Eddie you had been pining for since high school. You needed to see him like that as he made you scream his name.

Your fingers dug into his ponytail and started to yank, trying not to rip his hair when doing so. He winced a bit in between the kiss and you giggled, having some trouble in freeing his hair. He groaned and pulled away from the kiss, his hips stopping as his arm reached up and swatted your hand away in order to take the hairband off himself. 

You heard a few hairs being ripped out and you winced at the sound but he didn’t care as his curls fell down. Your eyes softened as you finally saw your Eddie. You loved his hair up, but… his hair down just reminded you of the first time you looked at him with different eyes. It was when it was getting longer after deciding to never let anyone give him a buzz cut ever again.

“Happy?” He asked and you giggled, his hair now all over his face and shoulders, falling on your face as well, making your cheeks tingle. You moved your hands to gather it up and pull it all over to one side only. He shook his head at you, fond eyes and a smile directed your way. “You shouldn’t have taken it off. It will be a little bothersome.”

“I wanted to… Your long hair is one of the things I love the most about you…” He tilted his head to the side as his eyes filled with confusion. 

“My hair?”

“Yeah… When you decided to let it grow, it’s when you turned into… you.” You smiled up at him, eyes filled with love and stars and he could see them all as his heart combusted inside of his chest. 

He can now truly absolutely believe that you were meant for him. No woman could make him feel the way you do. You love him with everything in you, he can see it in your eyes. You have loved him before his fame, and he cannot be more grateful to destiny for bringing you into his life. He will never be able to say thank you enough.

But his feelings made his body twitch, a sudden electric shock sent to his whole body as his hips moved by themselves. Your smile slowly vanished as your mouth fell into a breathless moan, eyes widening as he stared down at your face and how it slowly contorted. He needed to be fully inside of you, his feelings making his body take what it has been craving for so long.

You gasped as your head was thrown back against the pillow when his hips suddenly slammed against yours, making him bottom out and fill you entirely. He was big, a definite stretch, but god it felt wonderful. Right. Meant to be even as your back arched against him, his lips falling to your exposed neck, groaning against your skin as he kept himself from moving, letting you adjust and for his mind to help him not end this as soon as it started.

Your nails were digging into his shoulders for some grounding, your mind and heart racing and you felt everything a little too much. You gave a small groan as you pressed your back against the mattress once more, and his face raised up from your neck in order to look down at you. 

“I love you.” His words were not new, not anymore, yet they made your heart skip many beats now. The butterflies in your stomach exploded and you gave him a small smile. You opened your mouth in order to reply only for a moan of yours to occupy where your words should have been as his hips moved backwards and in again. 

“I– I love you Ed– ah!” You couldn’t even finish it correctly because as the first letter left your mouth, his movement quickened just a bit. His hips swayed back and forth, moving slowly still but you felt the drag of him against your walls. His face lowered, his elbows on each side of your head, his forearms and hands holding onto your head, fingers running through your scalp as he used that hold to keep himself up and for his hips to move faster.

His lips were against your cheek, and now the hit of skin against skin started being heard and you felt your whole body flush in embarrassment, or pleasure, or a mix of it all. Suddenly his breath hit your ear as he groaned at each thrust of his hips. He felt too good, and you felt your mind drifting away, further from consciousness, until you heard his words again.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

He kept repeating them in your ear at each thrust his hips made, his fingers on your scalp as his chest rubbed against yours. You moaned when you felt his tip just graze your g-spot but not quite there yet. Your nails ran from his shoulders and down to his back, scratching him, and your eyes opened when you realized you hadn’t done your part of the deal yet.

So you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck as your nails dug even deeper into the skin and your mouth opened. Your lips latched onto his skin and he groaned, hips stuttering slightly at your possessiveness of him. He could feel the burning in his back and now, the one on the side of his throat as you marked him in two places of his body.

You knew he liked to get shirtless in his concerts, of course you did… And he can’t wait to show everyone, his fans, his band members, his team, his staff, what you did to him. What you are to him. What he is to you. To finally show everyone who owns him, in body and soul.

He felt you nibble, suck, lick, kiss, and he knew it was going to be a big mark, just like the one he left you. He pulled away from your ear and raised himself up on his hands in order to look down at you. Your eyes were glossy, just like your lips which are also plump from all the kissing you’ve done to his skin. He wants to devour you, a fire that had always been there, but now it was scorching hot, almost painful. 

So why hold back?

His hips draw back and strike against yours in a forceful thrust. It was deep, so fucking deep, that he couldn’t help but groan, almost growl at your tightness. A choked moan escaped you from the surprise and the sudden punch to your spongy spot. Your eyes met his, now clouded in a dark cloud of pleasure, hints of love and devotion here and there, but you could see that he needed to ruin you, take what is his.

Your fingers are on his biceps now as he literally, absolutely, starts railing you into the mattress, like a madman, as if it were his first time ever. Reckless, sloppy, harsh, but still perfected. The bed made the both of you bounce, helping the movements, and your moans turned into whimpers and cries of his name.

“Eddie–!” You didn’t even notice that drool was coming out from the corner of your mouth, not noticing how long you had your lips parted for your moans to come out. You saw how intensely he was looking at you, as if he were to try to remember each trace of your face. Nervousness invaded you as well as some kind of self-consciousness, not knowing if your face was scrunching too much due to the pleasure, making your eyes avert away.

“Oh no, I’m having none of that.” You felt his hand grip your jaw and turn your head so he could look at you once again. Your cheeks were on fire, and you could swear tears were beginning to threaten to leave your eyes. His hair was all over his shoulders, moving at the pace of his hips, sweat on his forehead and tattooed chest. He was gorgeous. He was so beautiful that it hurt.

Your moans were still coming out steadily out of your lips until his hips shifted, just slightly, and his thrusts were now in a more upward direction. Your G-Spot was being punched by the tip of his cock and your belly was turning deliciously at each movement. 

He wanted to prove himself. He wanted to prove to you that he is the only one you will ever need, that he is the only one that can make you feel this good. He took his time fingering you in order to know where your spot was correctly. He has a lot to learn about you, and you about him, but there will be other times for that. 

For now, he just wants to see you come undone underneath him.

“F-Fuck–Fuck!” Your right hand was holding the wrist that held your face, while the left one was still gripping his bicep. You wanted to scream, the pleasure being too much yet not enough, trying to reach that high once more. A smile appeared on his lips, and you dared to say that it looked evil, cheeky, snarky, cocky.

“Weird?” And that bastard– He was mocking you. He was mocking you for ever thinking that this would feel weird for the both of you, considering the years of friendship. You growled a bit at him, a warning which only made him chuckle as he kept pounding into you, a particular drag making him groan.

“S-Shut up!” And oh you sounded so amazing like this. Breathless, needy, frustrated, pleasured… It was a mixture of everything, and he needed more as he felt his dick twitch inside of you. He hasted his movements and you could only whine in question as your confused, glossy eyes looked up at him. 

He groaned with displeasure as he pulled out of you and let go of your face, kneeling up and moving backwards slightly. His hands came to your hips, and he motioned for you to the next position he desired, which made the blood completely leave your body. 

He wanted you on all fours. He would have a perfect view of everything. Every single spot of texture, every stretchmark, all of your cellulite… just everything. And the lights are still on. Fuck they’re still on. Your hands were not fast enough to stop him from using his strength in order to turn you around on the mattress, your legs flailing as you were now on your belly onto the mattress.

You opened your mouth, embarrassment already too deep, afraid of even turning your head to look at him. You didn’t want to see the scrunch on his face when he looked at your skin. You are no professional model, and you certainly don’t have the money for all the treatments they can afford on their skin. 

But what you didn’t expect was the ferocious bite you received on your left ass cheek, making you yelp. He was behind you, his hands digging on your hips in order to pull your ass up, getting you to press your knees on the mattress and finally be in a formal all fours. You were almost shocked at how easily he manhandled you, at how quick he was. You slowly turned your head over your shoulder and you clenched at the sight.

Eddie looked drunk as he looked at your behind. He was even stroking himself as he looked at you, careful to not roll the condom off. You were stunned, hands and knees on the bed as he kneeled behind you. One of his hands came to rub your left ass cheek, to then give it a slap, causing you to whimper and jump at the action. 

“Eddie!” 

“Fuck, look at you…” His hand left his dick, and now both of his palms were engulfing your ass, pressing tightly, digits digging urgently into the skin as his face leaned downwards in order to kiss the small of your back and then one cheek. Your face was on fire, but you didn’t know if it was embarrassment or shame anymore… you felt loved. You felt like a goddess. Eddie was making you feel like an absolute goddess.

A bite landed on your right ass cheek this time, gentle but enough to grab some skin and pull gently. He groaned desperately, needing to swallow you whole. You weren’t aware of the state you put him in. He was feral. You were perfect, so fucking perfect and he was gonna make damn sure you knew this.

“Eddie please…” You whined one more time and he gave a small nibble to your ass cheek. He can bite on them a bit more later on. He straightened up and guided the tip of his cock to your sopping entrance, and pushed right in once more. Not slow, yet not fast, just easily.

The two of you groaned with relief as he thrusted a few times, before fully bottoming out inside of you. He growled into his throat as he took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. He is not going to last long, but he for sure was not going to end this without you clenching around his cock.

His hands are now on your waist, gripping your skin in order to guide himself in and out of you, the smacking of hips now echoing once more around the room. He looked at how your ass jiggled underneath him as his hips hit you. He was smirking, a small smack landing on one of your cheeks, making you yelp in between your moans.

He felt you clench a few times, and he cursed into the sky as he had to get a hold of himself so he wouldn’t spill too fast.

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight Kitty– You gonna cum for me?” A dumb ‘Uh-Huh’ was heard from you as you nodded as best as you could. Your arms and legs were trembling, the squelching of your juices with his thrusts a little too loud. It should shame you, but it’s the whole contrary now. You want him to know just how wet you were for him. How good he is making you feel right now, emotionally and physically.

“Y-Yeah Eds, yeah, please–” And you didn’t have to ask twice. His right hand left your hip and guided it underneath, reaching your clit with his index and middle finger. You gasped as your belly suddenly turned at the attention. “FUCK!” 

“I know baby, I know…” You whimpered at the nickname as his fingers moved on your sensitive nub, while his dick kept hitting your spot in a perfect rhythm. Your mouth was open, sometimes moans came out, sometimes only drool, but you couldn’t close it. Your pussy clenched around him, making him wince and curse under his breath. “Fucking shit…”

“Baby, baby–” You were warning him and he nodded with determination, his dick twitching inside of you until he saw stars at the same time you did. “EDDIE–!” 

Your walls clenched tightly around him, your legs trembling as your belly exploded with bursts of heat. He didn’t stop the rubbing of your clit, making you choke some moans out, wanting to move away from his grip, but he held you tightly in place so you wouldn’t stop the ride of your orgasm.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck– holy shit–!” And he groaned loudly, almost whimpering at how hard he came inside of the condom. He gave a few hard thrusts at each spurt of his cum, making you whine at the last strides of your own climax. Soon, your walls slowly unclenched, legs trembling ever so slightly, and his hand left your clit.

The two of you were panting, completely breathless from the lovemaking that just occurred. He took a sharp intake of breath as he slowly pulled out of you, making him wince and you whimper at the loss of him. You immediately flopped on the bed, face hitting the pillow. He chuckled a bit hoarsely and took off the condom, tying it off and looking around.

You turned your head in order to catch him in time, a frown appearing on your face as you turned to your side so you could point a finger at him.

“Don’t you dare throw it on the floor.” He raised an eyebrow at you and then a fond smile appeared on his lips. The two of you were covered in sweat, your breaths slowly leveling out again, a sight he never thought would occur. 

“You gonna boss me around in my own home Kitty?” You rolled your eyes at him and he smiled, getting up from the bed on wobbly legs. “Woah–” You covered your mouth in order not to laugh, but he only glared at you as he straightened up once more.

“Sorry–”

“Yeah, I wanna see how you get up from the bed. Come on.” You shook your head and immediately crawled underneath his sheets, covering yourself completely, and hiding from him. He chuckled at that and threw the used condom on his trashcan to then almost sprint to the bed and jump on top of it, making you bounce and yelp on the side you were on.

It made the sheets move away slightly, uncovering you from the waist up. Eddie looked down at you. Your hair was a mess, your makeup smudged… but fuck you were so beautiful. All of you. And you were now his.

“You’re mean…” He chuckled at you and got inside the sheets as well, wrapping his arms around you and flipping you on top of him, making you giggle.

“I’m anything but that…” He bit his lip and then cleared his throat as nerves filled his body once more. He was a rockstar, yet you made him more nervous than any concert he ever played in his life. “Kitty… I want– I want you. Like, I want this to be official.”

And that was the other part of this love that you were afraid of. Official? With Eddie? You?

“I–” You gulped as shame coursed through your body. “I am– no one, Eddie… I am not famous or– I mean, you might lose fans if we come out as official…” 

And when you looked at Eddie’s eyes, you saw them become doe-eyed, a sad frown appearing on his eyebrows, as he looked at your face. A hand came up to push a strand of your hair behind your ear, making you sigh. 

“Baby, I’ve been wanting you for god knows how long… I don’t care what happens to my reputation… and if my fans are truly my fans, they should be happy that I finally got the chick I’ve been singing about for the past two years.” 

Your heart felt like it melted with his words. Your eyes were tracing his face, the shape of his eyes, his nose, his lips. Every expression he did out of happiness or excitement, was because of you now. He definitely loves you, doesn’t he?

“You– Will you show me which songs were the ones about me?” You smile cheekily at him, and he raises an eyebrow at you, grips your hip slightly in warning and you can’t help but giggle.

“Yes, only if you’re mine.” 

And this wasn’t the last you’ve seen about the lack of confidence, you knew that. But there is something you are definitely, most certainly, confident about. Eddie Munson loves you, with everything in him, and wants you desperately.

“Deal.” A cheeky smile appears on his lip and you give him a pointed frown. “Apologize to Steve.”

And his smile faded, tilting his nose up.

“Never.”

You’ve got one cocky little rockstar of a boyfriend.

end

a/n: orange peel skin is what we call the skin when it looks pitted, formed by cellulite most of the times.

i hope you all enjoyed this little thing (not so little)

always reblog your artists

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fics #eddie munson x y/n #fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson ficlet #eddie munson smut #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie x reader #bestfriend!eddie munson

[luviemax]

invisible string- oneshot

a/n: hihi!!! song inspo here :D holy cow this feels like the longest thing i've written (it's not...)

-> lewis hamilton x fem!reader, no physical descriptions of reader

warnings: none, roscoe hamilton is a king.

masterlist

word count: 1,347 words

Of course you had heard of the 'invisible string' theory.

In today's day and age, it was a widely discussed phenomenon. You had no way of knowing whether or not the theory was actually true, mostly due to the fact that you'd never experienced it yourself.

Quite obviously, you wanted true love. You wanted to find your soulmate. But sometimes, life just isn't the way you cut it out to be, and you can't always get what you want. Like they say, 'life isn't perfect'.

And that's what you thought, until you'd met Lewis.

He comes into your life unexpectedly.

It's not that you don't want love in your life, but you're just not actively pursuing it, you tell yourself. Yet, a deep part within you says that love is something you truly yearn for. All these years, you've watched your friends go through heartbreak, then, you've watched them recover, then meet their soulmates, and eventually get married. You can't help but feel a deep sense of longing for what others seem to have, but you can never seem to find. To you, it seems like everybody's falling in love, but you're simply falling behind.

When you and Lewis meet, you're not really anything romantic. It's purely platonic. You tell yourself that you're not looking for a relationship, and little do you know, he's thinking the same thing.

Nevertheless, you nor Lewis voice your thoughts about this. You choose not to say it because it would be a blatant lie, and you don't want to lie to someone who you've made a friendship with based on trust and honesty. Truthfully speaking, you think that you're not saying anything because you're afraid of rejection, heartbreak, and ruining an arrangement that's simply perfect as it is.

Lewis doesn't like lying to you either. He knows that you're not acquainting yourself with him because of his fame or his money, but he's been used for both things repeatedly on multiple separate occasions, so he threads on thin ice around you. Or, that's what he said to himself at the beginning. He can't help but let loose around you. Just by talking, you make him comfortable. He feels like he could tell you about every woe in the world that he's had, and you would know precisely how to console him. He just can't help but feel at ease in your presence, and days with you are the best. But the two of you are just friends, he tells himself. Yeah, bullshit.

You don't really know much about cars, but you knew that Lewis worked in the industry. As he talked about more, you could tell how passionate he was about it, so one night, you set aside the time to read up on the topic. Of course, the subject was really versatile, and there was a lot to read on, and you nearly fell asleep sitting up, but you could tell it made him happy, and you wanted more ways to connect with him.

Naturally, Lewis was elated when you began to show more interest in cars. Not motorsports, but just the technical aspects of how cars worked. Who best to talk with than the person you liked most about the thing you were most passionate about?

The more the two of you talked, the more the two of you talked.

But of course, everything was purely "platonic".

So if it was platonic, why did you find yourself longing for his presence when he wasn't there? Was it really quote-unquote "friendly" behaviour for someone to be gifting you morbidly expensive gifts when you mention it in passing? Was it really normal for you to miss someone that much when they're away? When he was gone for work stints, you would find yourself subconsciously thinking about his toothy grin, or his wheezy laugh, or his beautiful, beautiful eyes....

The same thing went for him. When he was away at work, it took him every ounce of self-restraint for him not to be constantly messaging you, or asking what you're doing, but hey, if he did that, he would just be a caring friend... right?

You can still remember the very moment you knew you were in love with him, for sure.

The lingering doubt had always been there. Would you want to risk the best friendship you had for feelings that may not even come to fruition? But in that moment, you decided you would. Eventually. When you got the guts to do it.

The moment was quite mundane, actually. It was something as trivial as your birthday. Something which happened yearly, but it was something that he made absolutely magical.

The night starts with Lewis cooking dinner for you. It's all your favourite dishes, and you realise, he remembers.

When it's time for you to open your plethora of gifts from him, the first present you open is a stack of all your favourite books. Then it's records from your favourite artists. The list goes on and on, but all of the gifts you receive are things you've mentioned in previously, but simply in passing. You realise he remembers.

Singlehandedly, he'd put more care and thought than anyone else ever did. Yes, maybe the things he had gifted you might've been simple in anyone else's eyes, but sentimentally, his gifts meant a lot to you, and he knew.

He knows that he's in love with you when it's your birthday.

It wasn't really a struggle to choose what to get you. He had all the money he needed at his dispense, and he'd picked up on your prior conversations,; the things you loved and you hated.

Nonetheless, he's still slightly nervous when you open the gifts.

What if it wasn't enough? What if you didn't like it?

But from the look on your face, he can tell that you absolutely adored it. He knew that he loved you in that moment because no one had ever showed that much enthusiasm to the thought he put into things. Whether it be a simple note, or the most expensive watch money could buy, no one had really cared. But with such simplistic things, you did.

From then on, he knew that you were his soulmate. You weren't materialistic, nor were you too cold. You were like the fire to his ice, the yin to his yang.

So when he tells you he likes you, in a way that would imply that your relationship would shift to something more than friendship, you more than indulge him.

Your relationship is nothing but looks, gentle touches, soft kisses, and a shared admiration for each other.

It's a Sunday morning when he tells you that he loves you.

The two of you are tangled in bedsheets in your shared London flat. It's dawn, and the sunlight is beginning to peek through the curtains. You're curled into his chest, basking in his presence for just a moment before he has to leave. Your grip on him is steel tight, and your face is buried into his neck. He places gentle kisses on your forehead, and runs his fingers through your hair in a soothing motion. When he really needs to get up, he rubs your back in circles and tucks you into the sheets. In a drowsy, half-asleep state, you lazily move your arms into his direction, and he does nothing but chuckle as he sits by your side on your bed. "I'll be back before you know it," Lewis promises you, voice still raspy from sleep, "I love you."

Your heart skips a beat. You throw yourself at him and you swear that you never want to let him go. "I love you too." You whisper, kissing his cheek and embracing him even tighter than before. He places a kiss on your forehead, and gently shuts the bedroom door behind him. As soon as he's gone, Roscoe is more than happy to take Lewis' stead in cuddling you.

Little did you know, no, Lewis did not go to work, he went to look at engagement rings.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x female!reader #lh55 #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton smut #f1 x reader

[grapejuicestyless]

You’re The Winner

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: Harry and you were once inseparable. Both reaching to achieve big dreams. You always dreamed of being a writer and director. You were no where near Harry’s fame, and he knows it. He’s not afraid to let you know it either. Based off the new Conan song, “Winner.”

I didn’t notice it at first, as it came in waves. Tiny jokes pointed at my deepest hurts. Insults baked in sugary dough to hide the sourness beneath. Small snickers traveling around the rooms we were in. Laughter growing when I turned my back.

Soon, his comments became more aimed. Less broad, more explicit. He was blunt in his insults. Snide remarks turning into insults meant only to tear me down.

It shouldn’t have hurt me this much, all these stupid comments. If it were anyone else, I would’ve brushed them off as pure jealousy. But this wasn’t anyone else. This was Harry. A man who had everything. Money, fame, friends, party invitations piling at his door. But more than that, he was my best friend. My guide through Hollywood. The kindest soul that I had ever crossed paths with one fateful night in late 2013.

Back then he was so shy, despite his huge successes. Despite all the gains he was making, all the achievements, all the accomplishments, he was just as humble and down to earth. Never once caring about anyone’s status. He couldn’t care less what projects I was pursuing. Who I was working with, how much money I was making. When I was with him, I was just me. Not some new rising director, some writer chick that was starting to make headlines. I was simply, me.

I don’t know where that Harry went, but this wasn’t him. I considered the idea that maybe a stunt double had stepped in to take the old Harry’s place. All while the old Harry was away at some lavish beach resort in some expensive town off the coast of Italy I’d never heard of. That would’ve made so much more sense, but impossible. This one had the same green eyes and devilishly charming smile. His hair was just as shiny and curly. Physically, he was the same.

To put a date to it, I could say it started around the middle of 2020. He was by himself now, no longer supported by four other counterparts. Finally the center of attention. He’d done relatively well with the release of his first project, but it was his second album that had launched him into a similar success that he had in the band. Magazines swarming him with covers to be plastered on, late night tv talk show hosts all but begging him to sit down on their overly bouncy couches to talk about his love life and music inspiration.

With this new found admiration from the public, the changes were starting to be made. He no longer reached out first, and when he did, it was forcefully. He always made sure to be the one to never text last. Feeling satisfied in leaving another on read. Old Harry could carry conversations into the next day. Texts flooded with his odd facts and silly jokes. Now it was purely business. Maybe some meet ups from time to time. But usually it was me planning to meet up with him. His simple response was a thumbs up, not really caring if I showed or not.

He grew more and more insufferable the longer his fame lasted. Making friends with the best of the best and not even giving a second look to anyone else. So quick to discard those who were once always there for him. He was superficial. Fake. I knew this, but my heart still beat for the sweet boy I met all those years ago. Cherishing the fact he still considered me his best friend, even after all this time. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I did because even with this new asshole persona, I believed that underneath it, the young boy was still there. He just needed to be revealed somehow.

Now I can see how stupid I was. As I sit here, in the darkness of his living room watching some old movie he claims is, “vintage.” Not enjoying myself as I thought I would, but shrinking into the couch cushions, eyes welling up with each new dig he was making at me and my career. Always so quick to point out the clear gaps in our success. Me, having only a few movies and awards to my name, Harry having a room dedicated solely to them. His wins for only his newest album towering over all the ones I’d won in my whole career. I wished I could’ve tuned him out. Ignored how he belittled me, treated me like gum on his shoe. I wish his words meant nothing but that. Just words. I wished and wished.

“You know, if you made movies like this, you’d probably be so much more successful.” He gently smacked the side of my arm, eyes glued to the screen. Not even looking to see my expression.

Maybe it would’ve felt better if he had. Then I would know he only did it to get a rise out of me. Now I could see he was only doing it because that’s how he was. This is who he’s become. That hit so much deeper. I couldn’t blame it on him trying to tease me, or being playful and it coming off too strong. He was just, something almost unexplainable.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” The words were bitter as they rolled off my tongue. The couch I was once sinking into so feebly losing connection with my skin as I shot up to stand over him.

“What?” He looked confused, eyebrow cocked and a playful smirk on his face. He knew, how could he not. He saw how I cowered away, slinking into another room where the quiet was more evident that the soft chatter and quick glances in my direction. Both of pity and interest.

“Do you feel good about yourself? Bringing me down like that? Honestly, Harry tell me, I’m really interested.” His eyes seemed to dull, the movie no longer of interest to him. He stood to match my stance.

“I was just joking.” His arms raised in a fake defensive stance. Smirk still evident on his face.

“You should be proud of yourself, are you? Take a bow! Are you proud because I’m not. I’m not proud to say that there’s honestly nobody who’s ever done better at making me feel worse. So congratulations, Harry.” I clapped slowly, feeling heat rising to my cheeks, tears brimming my waterline. Harry stood there the entire time, mouth parted open and eyes searching my face desperately.

“I don’t see what I’ve done wrong? I was just giving you some tips.” He could’ve fooled me with that statement. His face contorted into one of pure regret and pain, almost like it hurt to deny what he had been doing. Like he didn’t want to be a jerk anymore. Somehow, it almost made me feel guilty.

“I don’t need your tips Harry! I don’t need anything from you. I am perfectly happy with what I’m doing, I don’t need a boat load of awards to show for that. You said it yourself, right? I’m happy doing what I’m doing, so don’t you dare insinuate that I am not successful. Don’t you dare.” My finger found the center of his chest, pushing back on his muscular frame, eyes blinking rapidly to dissolve any tears collecting, threatening to roll down my cheeks. To embarrass me.

My honesty was met with silence, his mouth closing into a firm line, eyes cold and lifeless looking into mine. He seemed totally calm, the complete opposite of my rapid breathing and heaving chest. It made me angry. How could he stand there, chest to chest with his “best friend” and not care about what he was doing to me?

“Fine, okay. Fine.” I backed away slowly, nodding in his direction. My footsteps picked up, hand searching quickly for my coat that was slung over the arm of his million dollar couch.

I never planned on leaving, but if this was what he wanted, to be a jerk and expect everyone to fall at his feet still, then I would not be part of it anymore. I would not cave to his sick and twisted mind games. I would leave, and maybe, just maybe, if he ever came to his senses. If he could ever see just how awful he was to me and could find it in his now frozen over heart to apologize, I would come back to stand beside him happily. But I would not be the woman who stood behind him, a bystander in the future movie of his life.

Slipping on my shoes and reaching for the door handle I paused. Looking around one last time, taking in Harry, who looked just as defeated as I felt, I saw it. He was crying. He was crying, actually crying. Hand gripped over his chest and clawing at where his heart reside. Body shaking silently. Praying I would come back. I sighed, opening the door.

“Harry.” It was quiet.

“Y/n/n.” It almost sounded like a beg. It felt so good to hear him call me that again, a name I hadn’t heard in years. Not since this personality shift.

“You really are the winner.” I didn’t need to further explain myself, he knew what I meant. There really was nobody else who ever had done better at making me feel worse. Nothing that ever did quite kill me more than what he had done. He really was, the winner.

#harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #hslot harry #fine line harry styles #yn x harrystyles

[luffyvace]

Hey there brook! I hope u having a nice day! Can I ask for a luffy x heroic fem reader headcanon? by heroic I mean that she completely dedicated her life to help and save ppl and that her purpose in life, she's strong and seems cold but when u get to know her she has empathy more than anyone else, I feel like this is the perfect character that luffy would fall in love with, pure kindness hiding behind a tough facade, she doesn't even like being called a hero, yet she is willing to do anything for those in need, slaves, poor villages, she goes against anything unjust without any fear, cause thats her purpose in life (sorry if that was too long 💀)

Hi anon <33 (it makes me so happy that someone finally addressed me as that💗)

today was a very chill day 😊 thank you! How’s yours?

Reader sounds so genuine with such a good background for a op character!!

(Don’t worry it’s not too long—I love to read:3)

Ngl luffy subconsciously sees a little bit of himself in you!!

like your hearts are so similar—gold!

of course he doesn’t directly think that way- but he feels the connection!

which is through helping!

you two never turn your backs on those who have never wronged you

its not even about if they’re on your side or not, as long as they haven’t wrong you? and they need help?

the both of you are on it 🤜🤛👍

you wanting to save others becomes admirable to more than just him, to all of the straw hats—chopper and usopp especially!

I’m gonna go ahead and say it here and now you remind both Jinbe and luffy of whitebeard and fishman island type thing

LIKE THAT’S HOW IT IS!!

Y/n is just her tbh 🤷‍♀️

and if the ops don’t like that? 🤨

🤜💥

how you like that? >:)

your strength may or may not be hereditary but either way if you don’t continue training or working out your gonna loose that strength eventually

which shows just how hard you train everyday!!

bro works harder than zoro 🗿

and we all know he don’t sleep on workin out

so y/n is a gorilla the og

its no wonder you be cookin the ops like breakfast👩‍🍳👍

this is literally turning into a rant about me being (name)’s biggest fan ok let’s move on

luffy saw you cold exterior and was like

😍😍😘🥰😘💍💋💋💋

LOLOLOL no but fr he looked straight past that

he always does- he ignored law’s and zoro’s why wouldn’t he with you-

and once he sees your true kindness???

Locked in like a booty hole 🔗

(ANYWAY I HAD TO🧍‍♀️)

yeah he pretty much busts right through that

he pretty much instantly demands you already are is nakama after that

Your empathy is what really swoops him off his feet tho

like luffy has a good sense of empathy so much so he can hear the voice of all things

and you probably can too! It’s highly likely!

(y/n could have her own anime at this point 🤷‍♀️😚)

But seriously the way he can just feel the way you long for others when they’re in pain just gets him right at the heartstrings you know?! 🥺❤️‍🩹

you comfort them so assuredly and keep your promise to win every time !!

luffy would admire himself more than he would know if he realized how alike the two of you are

tbh you probably admire luffy!!

like it’s a mutual thing, where you pretty much don’t see your own coolness you only see the other’s

so you admire each other unaware that your the same 😂💗

he absolutely adores and admires that empathetic part of you thoo!

he loves how your kind and tough

he wholeheartedly believes the strong should protect the weak, cuz that’s what a man does.

especially with nakama.

so he definitely understands your need to protect those who can’t do it for themselves

there are many times he can recall where he had to rely on others

so he loves that your the one who does that for people

and you don’t do it for the money or fame!

you don’t even view yourself as the hero and savior that bystanders see you as!

that’s so cool to him!

you background/past might’ve caused it! Like maybe you had no superhero! So you decided to become one!

he kinda looks up to you in a way 🤩

as someone who has also helped slaves and the poor he completely understands where you come from in your kindness

and it’s even cooler that you charge head on into battle for others without a second thought

that’s just how tough you are ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

not an ounce of fear in your eyes as you walk up to someone 20x the size of you to simply get back the bread they stole from a poor little child

LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?! 💥💥

your a super hero!! Dundun duh-duuuuuun!!

🦸‍♀️‼️🤩

you have a goal just like him!! He wants to be the king of pirates and you wanna help others!

With the type of pirate he is?, those things go hand in hand 🤝

”STRAW HAT LUFFY AND PIRATE HERO (NAME) IS HERE!! RUN AWAY!!”

says the pirates who know they’ve done wrong doing!! 😎

also excuse (name)’s lame pirate alias i couldn’t think of one 😊💖

(Name) is so cool 😎 I admire her 💓

hope you enjoyed your hcs anon!! *super heroes away🦸‍♀️🚀*

#anime #anime and manga #luffyvace #anime headcanons #fluff headcanons #fluff #one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece x reader #straw hat pirates #monkey d luffy #luffy #monkey d. luffy #one piece luffy #straw hat luffy #strawhats #with: luffy #luffy headcanons #luffy x reader #luffy one piece #op luffy #op #luffy x female reader #luffy x y/n #luffy fluff #one piece fluff #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece x amab reader #dear anon

[digitaldiarystuff]

Bad Liar

note: hiii! here’s a pedri story because I’m utterly obsessed with him atm hope you enjoy and please feel free to comment on it

————

summary: you are in a long time situationship with pedri and you’re falling more and more everyday hoping he feels the same

pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Y/N

genre: pure angst

————

You opened your eyes and felt an arm draped over your waist holding you at place, slowly turning you gaze at Pedri sleeping peacefully next to you. He looks happy and relaxed, you smile as you try to escape him and his grip on you tightens not letting you go.

“Stay.” he murmured as his nose finds its place in your hair.

“Pepi I have to go I have classes all day and you have training” you whisper back hoping this would help him get up.

“But”

“No buts, we have to go.” you said getting up and running from him into the bathroom. You two stayed at your apartment and had a cozy night decorating your christmas tree. Pedri came to you as soon as his training was over. He was affectionate as always even though your relationship didn’t have a name. You both agreed early on that you weren’t ready for a big commitment and it started as mostly sexual but every time you spent time together your bond only grew stronger.

At first you wouldn’t even sleep over but now, you spent a couple of nights together every week and you were falling in love with him every passing second. He was the best person with kindest eyes and loveliest relationship with everyone in his life. You knew his career and how over the top his fans could be so not going out together was never a problem for you, you were happy staying in but lately, you craved for something more. You were craving for the next step in this relationship and were ready to admit your feelings. You got to experience his emotional side and he listened to you when you were overwhelmed.

You were giddy and nervous but seeing how Pedri was with you, you figured he felt the same, he had to because it was so much more sensual now. You hoped you could meet up tonight and talk to him about all this.

You got ready in the bathroom and left it so that he can take a quick shower and get ready. You used this time to go down and prepare a quick breakfast for the two of you. You knew his diet like the back of your hand now and knew what he can or can’t eat. You prepared two bowls and started eating yours as he entered the kitchen smiling.

“Mmh, delicious. Thank you.” he said before placing a kiss on your temple.

This was one of the reasons you fell for him, he never held back or been cold with you after spending the night, he was as warm as before and that was one of the reasons you felt encouraged to talk to him.

“Are you free tonight?” you asked excitedly

“I think so.” he thought for a moment. “What for?” he asked.

“Nothing, I just thought we could have dinner together.”

“I’ll let you know.” he said as he finished his meal and grabbed his bag. You also stood up and got your bag.

“Did you call an uber?” he asked shocked that you were leaving at the same time.

This was another thing, even though you were going in the same direction, he couldn’t drive you in case someone saw and sometimes you thought this was over the top but convinced yourself this was how it’s supposed to be.

“Yeah, I’ll call now.” you said as he was walking out the door. He didn’t realize how your demeanor changed and left.

All day you were going over the conversation and how you would tell him that you want to be his girlfriend. You thought about many outcomes and tried guessing how he’d react. You knew he was secretive and you made sure to add how you don’t want to be in a public relationship to your speech. You were fine just being with him behind closed doors, you weren’t after his money or fame. You just felt something so strong that you couldn’t be away from him anymore.

When you were leaving campus you went into the store and picked up groceries for his favorite meal, hoping to make it for him as a way of showing how much you care. Just as you were out the store, your phone buzzed.

“Something came up can’t make it” he just wrote.

You felt your heart breaking but tried not showing too much. Your hopes crushed and instead, you texted your best friend asking her to come. You were keeping this relationship a secret from everyone because in the beginning they all told you this was a bad idea, he shouldn’t keep you hidden just because of his profession and want to show you off but you always thought they didn’t know you two. You even thought they were jealous, so you stopped telling them about Pedri but tonight you needed her.

“And then he said something came up and had to cancel.” you said a single tear rolling down your face. She said nothing and just hugged you and you realized how stupid you’ve been keeping this from her. She was your biggest supporter and wanted what’s best for you.

“You can tell I told you so.” you added and she shrugged.

“Eh, I’ll do that later, but baby, maybe he’s held up at training or had to attend to something work related. Don’t overthink it, if you think you love him, don’t let this discourage you.”

You thanked her as you thought over her words, it was true you didn’t even ask him what came up. Maybe it was a last minute sponsor dinner or something about his family.

“Let’s watch some tiktok.” your best friend suggested hoping to get your mind off of him and you agreed.

You spent like 30 minutes watching and even making some videos, you came across a pedri fan account and she was saying how he’s trending now.

“Hey Y/N, go on twitter. They’re saying Pedri’s trending.” she said and you were confused. It wasn’t a match day so Pedri trending was out of the ordinary and sure enough, he was.

“What’s this about?” you asked as you pressed into a link that sent you over to a girl’s instagram you’ve never seen before and saw she posted a story a few minutes ago. She had over 10k followers and you figured it must be an influencer. You clicked on the story and saw a photo of a couple.

tanyaslifexx

You froze at your place, trying to understand what’s going on and your best friend reached over your shoulder to see what you’re looking at. She understood what you figured and looked at you to see your reaction immediately. She wanted to kill Pedri right now.

“Maybe it’s not him.” she said trying to help you.

“It’s him” you said slowly, “I bought that watch to him for his birthday.”

————

note: ahhh it’s killing me to cut the story here but i need to see if you like it and should i continue please tell me if you want me to make a part 2!!

and please please please send in some player names and genres for potential stories that’d be great help luv

#pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri x reader #pedri imagine #pedri x you #pedri x y/n #pedro gonzalez #fc barcelona #football imagine #football x you #football #football x reader #football x y/n #pedri blurb #football blurb #football angst #pedri angst

[shadowkoo]

All About You

A Bangtan x Hockey series by @shadowkoo!

The upcoming season for the Denver Dragons is predicted to be an absolute game-changer! From lightning-fast breakaways to jaw-dropping saves, get ready to witness a showcase of skill, determination, and pure passion in both the game on the ice and the one in these player's hearts. The team is hungrier than ever, prepared to do whatever it takes to secure their victory. With rivalries heating up, new talent on the rise, and fresh sparks flying, this season promises unforgettable matchups that will have fans on the edge of their seats. So grab your jerseys and get ready to witness what this season has coming. Let the games begin! 🏒🔥

Bad For You - coming soon ↳ Official Teaser

Jungkook wants what he can’t have and it’s driving him nuts. He’s never thought of you more than Namjoon’s annoying little sister, but that’s all changed now that you’ve returned from university. Especially now that you plan to stay at his apartment until further notice. Having you around takes his mind off the importance of this season, something he cannot have happen since last season ended so badly. A distraction like you might either become the biggest mistake of his life, or perhaps the best one. You know better than to sleep with the up-and-coming, all-star, fan-favorite hockey forward for the Denver Dragons. And it’s not because he’s just as much a player off the ice as he is on it. More importantly, he’s your brother’s teammate, best friend, and the guy whose place you’re crashing at. He’s been off-limits since the day you met him, but it didn’t stop you then, and it sure as fuck isn’t going to stop you now…

↠ pairing: jjk x named f. reader ↠ position: forward, right-wing ↠ trope: brother's best friend, forced proximity, age gap, forbidden relationship ↠ installment: 1/7

Thinking About You - coming soon

Taehyung has a secret. He's got a big, fat schoolgirl-esque crush on one of the hockey moms of the Dragon's sponsored junior league hockey team. He finds it utterly repulsive that merely catching sight of you sends a flurry of butterflies to the center of his stomach, an entirely foreign sensation he's not sure he enjoys. As if that wasn't bad enough, he also recently discovered that he transforms into a stumbling, incoherent mess in your presence, a behavior that is completely unlike him. Everyone knows Kim Taehyung is the most popular guy on the team, especially in the eyes of all the puck bunnies chasing after him. He's a smooth-talking, swoon-worthy, wet-your-panties-by-simply-grinning-at-you type of ladies' man that women just can't get enough of. And he used to eat that shit up, using it to his advantage at every opportunity. But now, his attention is solely fixated on you, and what's even more astonishing - on your son.

↠ pairing: kth x named f. reader ↠ position: centerman ↠ trope: widower, single parent, fuckboy finally settles down ↠ installment: 2/7

Loyal To You - coming soon

Jimin has been eagerly anticipating the holidays for a while now. Not because he has anyone special to go home to or any familial commitments. He's been craving time away from the relentless demands of his career and the ice, a first for him. From the moment he first wore skates at the young age of three, hockey has consumed his entire existence. Yet now, he yearns for a much-needed break from the sport that has been his lifelong passion. Being a professional athlete has its perks (money, women, fame), but it also comes with a shit ton of downs. And lately, life has handed him a lot of downs. Upon arriving at the charming bed and breakfast where he intends to spend the next three weeks, he's instantly captivated by the attractive owner. You don't seem to recognize him, and you don't expect anything from him either. In that moment, he can't help but envision a different life distinct from the one he knows, one where he can be just Park Jimin instead of player #33 of the Denver Dragons.

↠ pairing: pjm x named f. reader ↠ position: forward, left-wing ↠ trope: hidden identity, instant attraction, the big secret ↠ installment: 3/7

Made For You - coming soon

Namjoon has lately found himself thoroughly intrigued by the team photographer for the Dragons. You've shared a friendship for quite some time, frequently crossing paths at the favored bar of DD Organization and often catching glimpses of each other nearly every day at the arena. He's taken aback by the fact that he's interested in you, considering that you're such polar opposites. He's usually quiet and reserved, channeling his energy into the game and his responsibilities. In contrast, you radiate a lively and outgoing presence, greeting people with warmth and capturing candid moments with quick snaps of your camera. When Namjoon finally musters the courage to ask you out, a small comment from you about seeing him as one of your closest friends shatters his spirit before he even gets the chance. Apparently, fate has dictated that you're destined to be just friends, or perhaps he simply needs to sway your perspective...

↠ pairing: knj x named f. reader ↠ position: defenseman ↠ trope: coworkers, opposites attract, friends to lovers ↠ installment: 4/7

Lost In You - coming soon

Hoseok is a wild card, and the Denver Dragons Organization has just about had it. It's time for him to simmer down before he's off the ice for good. Their plan? Marriage. Yes, that's right. Hoseok is getting married to a snotty socialite, and the whole arrangement is meant to heal his status in the eyes of the rest of the world. He knows damn well he is the only person to blame for this PR stunt to be his last chance to redeem his shitty reputation. Coach made it very clear that not a single other team expressed any interest in trading for him if he kept heading in his current direction. Between all the fights, the public intoxication charges, and the constant news stories about him, it was bound to happen at some point. He just needs to make it through the next two years without losing it again. A feat that he finds nearly impossible when he's forced to be around you, his wife.

↠ pairing: jhs x named f. reader ↠ position: alternate captain, defenseman ↠ trope: married for convenience, enemies to lovers ↠ installment: 5/7

Searching For You - coming soon

After a complicated fallout with his now ex-fiance, Yoongi has made a recent vow to avoid anything and anyone associated with love. He has no time or use for it. Having weathered numerous failed relationships, his most recent resulting in calling off his wedding the night before, he possesses no need to subject himself to that kind of pain or heartbreak ever again. Especially not with someone as joyful and optimistic as you. Just simply observing your perpetual good mood only serves to piss him even further. Nevertheless, you've taken notice of Yoongi, and seem to have undertaken a challenge of sorts to brighten the mood of the grumpy hockey player who often visits your bagel shop. The problem? He doesn't like to lose, and neither do you.

↠ pairing: myg x named f. reader ↠ position: goalie ↠ trope: grumpy sunshine, sworn off relationships ↠ installment: 6/7

Trapped By You - coming soon

Seokjin has had very few moments in his life that have rendered him utterly speechless. Unfortunately, this seems to be one of them. You're the last person he anticipated seeing on his doorstep so early in the morning. One night stands are supposed to be just that - one night of fun without the moral obligation to see that person ever again. But here you are, nearly four months later, changing that 'rule' with your smudged mascara and a handful of positive pregnancy tests. You always assumed you would have a baby at some point in your life; maybe a few years after getting married to the love of your life, when the timing felt right. But right now felt so wrong. You didn't love him; you two barely even knew each other. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, and most certainly not with the Captain of the Denver Dragons.

↠ pairing: ksj x named f. reader ↠ position: captain, centerman ↠ trope: one night stand pregnancy, strangers to lovers ↠ installment: 7/7

Join my taglist to be notified when each fic is posted!

*Disclaimers: Obviously, I am not affiliated with the NHL, given by my fictional team name, nor do I claim to know every single hockey rule or slogan, etc. We’re also intentionally forgetting that Denver already has a pro team for the sake of my sanity LOL. This series is meant to be read in order of release (top to bottom of this post). In some instances 'reader' is referred to by a name of my choosing (this is important for other storylines where the same characters from previous installments may come up) but they are still written in second person point of view (you said, your stuff, etc.) so it's pretty much still reader insert. This entire series is 18+ as every fic will contain explicit smut scenes. Minors do not read or interact!

#kvanity #bts series #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts x you #bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #taehyung x reader #taehyung smut #jimin x reader #jimin smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon smut #hoseok x reader #hoseok smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #seokjin x reader #seokjin smut #hockey!au #hockey!bts

[edwardslvrr]

༯ GOOD RIDDANCE, TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x singer!reader

the one where rumour has it YN’s new album is about Trevor

taglist if you’d like to be added to my taglist, message me privately or comment on this post

warning this is all fake and just for fun, no hate to any of the people mentioned. Just a reminder that this is pure for entertainment xoxo

main masterlist trevor zegras masterlist

yourinstagram

los angeles, california

liked by _alexturcotte and 1.213.175 others

yourinstagram good riddance is now out and about for you beautiful souls to listen to I hope you love it as much as I loved making this. now it’s time for wine and a party, thank you.

view 20.194 comments

username so here for this drama!!

username “all our best years are behind” mind if i just go into full sob mode??

username she’s just making us go through it fr

username “got a lot to cry about” yeah me too rn

username trevor has never been more quiet

username all his friends liking this post pretending like it isn’t about their best friend 😭

yourbestfriend give this woman her grammy rn, babes pulled my heart out of my chest and just stomped on it this is what i call a fucking masterpiece!!!

yourinstagram ILOVE YOU SOOOO !!

username I SHOULD HATE YOU IS IT. IT IS THE MOMENT. IT IS THE MAIN CHARACTER.

trevorzegras

michigan, usa

liked by colecaufield and 284.195 others

trevorzegras same time next year?

view 1.329 comments

username bro acting like nothing happened

username what is he suppose to do? make a poem abt it?

username poem sounds nice tho

jackhughes could be.. difficult

username did he just?

username I think he did-

username jack is running wild😭

username bro feeding the dixie rumours w the 3rd photo

username only here for the drama 💪

colecaufield haunted house era

username the gc is 100% going wild rn

username nahhh there aint no way, they’re fr taking the piss tn what is this😭

username dude is regretting all his life decisions atp

yourinstagram

los angeles, california

liked by trevorzegras and 1.421.184 others

yourinstagram the support on Good Riddance is INSANE! could have never imagined this all being the outcome of just writing my feelings down on a piece of paper. you guys have been the absolute best people ever, the way you promote this album just makes me tear up. LOVE YOU ALL!! see you soon.

view 18.382 comments

username this album is my new personality for the next 2 years

username my new therapy fr

username ayo trevor is see you👀

username he panicked liked

username bro just knows he’ll never hear the end of this

username i honestly for the drama when a break up album gets realeased

username not trevor liking this post😭

username he’s just fighting for his life in the gc

username he’ll be hearing the chirps on the ice for a couple years

username just looking at what he missed out on fr

username y’all so worried, bro couldn’t care less

username and what if the album wasn’t abt trevor

username trevor here to take his little bit of fame

yourname

via twitter

REPLIES

username now this is what i call sus

username she’s brave for not typing out the rest of that bridge

username “And now, I, now I bet you resent All of me, all of it, angry, blocking me over the internet Promise I don't forget all of my fault in this” SUS

username think she’s the one regretting her choices rn

username the money entering her bank account isn’t

username so real

username she def sent him a long paragraph apologising for his comment section 😭

username everyone always out here claiming they know trevor and YN personally or sum shit

#༯ 𝐄𝐃𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒𝐋𝐕𝐑𝐑 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 #trevor zegras #trevor zegras insta edit #trevor zegras fanfiction #trevor zegras x reader #hockey fanfic #nhl fic

[iwashie]

“LIFE IS SWEET AS VANILLA IS” BLLK FACULTY

📌 noel noa, marc snuffy, chris prince, lavinho, julian loki

･ﾟﾟ･｡ warnings- gn!reader, sugar bby!reader, sugar daddy!bllk faculty, 18+ characters, implicit mentions of alcohol, parties, marriage, sex, age gap, reader is cited as pretty/cute baby.

💵 “Would you be my baby tonight? I can be your baby tonight! All he wants to do is party with his pretty baby!” LAVINHO.

Don’t get attached to this man. All he wants is to party with the most beautiful and you are just another cute little face among several others in the middle of the party, feeling his arms around your waist and neck. He will kiss you in front of everyone at the party, in the park, in the dark night, anywhere. He is not afraid to show you, just like his other babies. His love is a nine-day wonder. The days with him are full of luxurious car rides to the most expensive places, expensive shopping, flash cameras here and there, laughter and make out in public, showing you off to everyone. The nights with him are full of desire, warm kisses, light hands, sweaty and glued bodies, moans and whispers, fun in public places like swimming pools, parking lots, against glass from ceiling to floor. Life with him is here and now, pure fun, golden and silver in everything, but don’t get attached because today he is with you and tomorrow he is with another. He has a catalog of cute sugar babies wanting a piece of him.

💵 “Money is the anthem of success and I’m your national success! Hand on the back of my neck. I say ‘Can we party later on?’, he said ‘yes, yes’. Heaven’s in your eyes. God, you’re so handsome!” CHRIS PRINCE.

Get used to the display. He loves to show off and will do the same to you, his hand always on your neck, showing belonging. You’re his alone. Life with him revolves around flash cameras, parties, expensive places, pictures of you two on the front page and all over the internet. He loves his beautiful baby and will do anything for you- mansion, jewelry, fame, cars, travel, expensive food and drink, whatever you want he gives you, he just asks you to be the coolest next to him. Your paradise is surrounded by strange voices and faces, golden and loud laughter. The fun never ends. You’ve found God in blue eyes, blonde hair, his money, and the flashbulbs of beautiful cameras—you’ve learned to like the display just like him. “Tell me, am I glamorous?” You being beautiful and staying with him, nothing else matters. Get ready for the photos on social media displaying the luxurious life and the perfect relationship of you. Images of the body can not miss. He likes yachts and water because he can show off his shaped body and cute baby by his side, his hand on your thigh and ass. The days and nights with him revolve around lights hovering over you. The fun with him is full of passionate kisses, hands on the body, some mark to show territory, but never exaggerated so as not to spoil the beauty of your body. Remember to smile and wave, cute baby.

💵 “Am that pretty that you dream of? All those little times your said I’m your pretty, you make me feel like your entire world. I can’t deny the way he holds my hand, and he grabs me. He has me by my heart.” NOEL NOA.

This man loves you with every bit of his body. He never looks at others because he has the baby he has always dreamed of by his side. He likes to keep your relationship private, but he took you on in a few months of dating and plans to marry you, have kids and a pet, have his family. Everything you ask, he gives you without problems, everything for his beloved. Life with him has flashes of cameras, clothes, cars, rides and rich parties, but he lives in the lull—likes to take you in private places or close the place to the two of you only. He’s a family man- he likes to spend time with you, whether it’s cooking, watching movies, talking, having dates at home like wine at night or just lying with you. The days, nights and fun with him are discreet, just the two of you and your spacious room or house, likes to shower together, calm kisses, strong hands, worship you as his only salvation, rough and passionate moments, sweaty and glued bodies, whispers and a lot of passion.

💵 “He loves me. He gives all his money. That Gucci, Prada, yacht, caviar and oysters, trips. He knows ho to spoil me, my sugar daddy.” JULIAN LOKI.

This man loves to show up with his young, beautiful baby. Ah, the rich youth. No one above his baby. It’s you and only you. A life full of parties, luxury, cars, trips, events, photos, good food and drink. Life surrounded by young money. He doesn’t care if you want things in private or public; he does everything you ask. The days and nights with him are full of rides, parties, rich people, engine noise from expensive cars in races and especially in F1, poses for photos with rich society, vacations on private islands, photos with champagne on the yacht, you on his lap and his hands on your leg, the white smile shining brighter than the jewels on your neck. The fun with him is calm and passionate, foreheads glued and holding hands, fervent kisses, full attention on his cute baby and how many times you put up with it.

💵 “In my dreams, I’ve a plan. If I got me a wealthy man… I’ve finally found you and my life is sweet as cinnamon. Heaven is a place on earth with you.” MARC SNUFFY.

This man loves you more than anything. He has the most beautiful baby next to him, but also a friend, a confidant, a future. You are much more than a cute face to be shown. He would create a money castle if you asked. Life with him is surrounded by old Italian money and the youth wealth- parties in any corner of the world with all kinds of people, but nothing like Sundays at home with family and friends. Holidays in Italy- car rides with your hair in the wind, yacht parties and Italian summer. He doesn’t mind showing affection in public, prefers private things, but can’t help the hand on your lower back and ass or a warm kiss here and there. You always appear together in the photos and you can show the shiny engagement ring. He likes quiet moments at home, just the two of you or people close to him, likes to dance around the house, old movies at night, your food and affection. The fun with him is calm and sensual, likes to have his time with you, calm kisses and strong hands, likes to leave marks on you and make you shiver with his touches, prefers a fun on four walls, but sometimes a quickie in a secluded place, in the car or in the water is also fun for him.

© iwashie 2023, please do not translate, modify or republish my works

#blue lock #blue lock x you #blue lock x reader #bllk x you #blue lock headcanons #bllk imagines #blue lock faculty #blue lock noel noa #blue lock marc snuffy #blue lock chris prince #blue lock lavinho #blue lock loki julian

[heli-writes]

Seven summers, part 3.

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x female!reader

Summary: Every summer, Draco and y/n meet. First, by pure coincidence, then intentionally. Unbeknown to Draco, y/n's a muggle who has no clue he's a wizard. With the rise of the dark lord, how long can this go well?

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Series Masterlist

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dearest y/n,

School's incredibly boring. The only fun thing going on is that tournament. I do love seeing Harry Potter struggle. He totally deserves to have to fight that dragon. He's cheated his way into this tournament anyway. Not that I'd like to join. No prize money and fame in the world is worth fighting a real-life dragon for.

Blaise is seeing that girl he went to the Yule Ball with. It's disgusting, really. They're always standing in the hallway making googly eyes at one another. Also, before you say it, I'm not jealous because they get to see each other and we don't. Plus, they're nothing like us. They haven't even kissed. They're probably like your archnemesis, that Becky girl. If they don't see each other over the summer holiday, they probably lose interest and break up before the new school year starts, too. Meanwhile, we rarely see each other and we're together just fine.

Talking about it, would it be possible for you to send me a picture? It's not like I have the desperate wish to look at you every day but the others don't believe me about having a girlfriend. They think I invented you because I don't want to come in second to Blaise. It's really ridiculous but it would probably shut them up.

In all honesty, though, I can't wait until summer comes along. Not seeing you has been a lot harder since Christmas. Summer just can't come fast enough.

Love, Draco

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fifth summer, July.

Y/n can't wait to see Draco again. It's the first week of the summer holidays and the weather is fantastic. A few weeks ago, Draco and she agreed that y/n would come to visit him at his family's home. Y/n was a bit reluctant to agree because she feared that her little muggle secret would be blown if she stayed with a wizard's family. Luckily for her, Draco canceled just before school was over with little explanation why she couldn't come over anymore. Instead, Draco proposed to spend a weekend in Salisbury, a town a bit away from his parent's house. He promised to take care of accommodation since he had to cancel last minute.

Y/n probably should have a bad feeling about this. She lied to her parents and said she is visiting her school friend Olivia whose parents have a vacation home in Wiltshire. Y/n's parents know Olivia and her parents well since the two girls often spend time studying together for big tests, so they don't question the whole thing. All in all, y/n has always been a girl who followed the rules and never gave her parents a reason to mistrust her. Y/n tells herself that it's fine. She trusts Draco and he wouldn't do anything to hurt her or get her into trouble. It seems as if he himself is afraid to get into trouble with his father and therefore is careful about what he does or doesn't do. Plus, if the whole thing turns out to be a disaster, she just takes a train home.

Y/n takes a deep breath while she stands on the platform and waits for the train. There's a heavy feeling in her stomach that she can't shake off the entire way to Salisbury. When she gets off the train, she looks around unsettled. What if he didn't come? What if he had to cancel again last minute? Worried thoughts race through her head and she can barely register what she sees around herself. Suddenly, a hand grips her arm softly. "... y/n? Are you deaf?", a familiar voice says. Y/n is ripped out of her spiral and looks up to where Draco stands. "I've been calling you all the way from over there.", he tells her. Y/n takes a shaky, relieved breath before answering: "Oh, I'm sorry, I really didn't notice you." Draco gives her a soft smile, the kind of smile she's been missing since Christmas. "It's alright. I'm just glad you came. For a moment, I thought you didn't step out of the train.", he says as he pulls her into his arms. Y/n hugs him back and relief overtakes her. "I also thought you maybe didn't come.", she confesses. Draco leans his cheek against her hair. "Why that? I promised you I'd come. Actually, I'm really glad to get away from everything for a while.", he tells her. Y/n breaks the hug apart. "Oh? Did something happen? Is that why you needed to cancel meeting at your place?", she asks him. Draco shifts his weight uncomfortably. "Yeah, haven't you read it in the paper? There was an accident at the tournament.", he replies. "Oh.", is all that y/n manages to say. Somehow, she doesn't like the way he said 'accident'. Y/n shakes it off and gives his arm a pat. "Hey, it's summer! And we have a whole weekend to do whatever we want. Let's not dwell on dark things!", she tries to cheer him up. Draco gives her another smile and nods.

"Right, let's go! I'd say we get you settled first and then we plan our weekend over a good lunch.", he says and takes y/n's luggage. "Yeah, so where are we staying?", y/n asks him. "A family friend has an inn in town. We booked a room.", he tells her. "We? As in your parents and you?", y/n asks surprised. Somehow she finds it hard to believe that Draco's parents would allow him to go on a weekend trip with a girl they barely know. "Yes, though I didn't specify which friend I'm taking. My parents have been so busy the past few weeks, they didn't bother to ask.", he points out with a mischievous grin. Y/n giggles. Seems like Draco is not afraid to get a little bit in trouble. "Are your parents ok with this?", he asks her, and y/n proceeds to tell him about Olivia. "I don't think my parents would approve of me staying alone with a boy at an inn.", she ponders. "Well, we have two separate beds. There was no way I could've found a believable reason why I need a double bed with a friend.", Draco points out. Y/n has to laugh. "Oh, but you thought about it?", she asks him cheekily. Draco's ears turn a bit red.

When they stand in front of the 'inn', y/n asks herself if Draco was joking earlier and if this trip was really a good idea. They're standing in front of a rundown, seemingly deserted, house. "If there are ghosts, I'm not stepping inside of this place.", y/n tells Draco. Draco only nudges her and says: "Have a little faith, it's a great place.". He knocks on the door and loudly says "Clabbert". With an abrupt swing, the door opens and a small, very gloomy-looking old man opens the door. He musters the two of them up and down, seemingly disapproving. Y/n shudders. The man has long, unkempt hair and clothes that look like from three centuries ago. If she met this guy on the train, she'd definitely switch compartments. "Malfoy?", he asks in a grumbling voice. "Yes, my mother sent you an owl a few days ago.", Draco tells him. "Hm. And her? She smells like a muggle.", the man asks and gives y/n a mean glance. Y/n wonders what a muggle smells like, when Draco swiftly answers: "My cousin. We're visiting an aunt in town, but she doesn't have enough space for us.". Y/n's surprised at how effortless Draco can lie. The man grunts and retreats inside, leaving the door open. Draco gives y/n a sign to follow him.

Y/n really expects the worst when she enters the house. Naked walls, rubble, and a freezing breeze. However, when she enters the house, she is met with warm candlelights and old-fashioned but cozy decorations and carpets. The man leads the two of them up an old staircase. Draco tries to lift both his and y/n's luggage, but y/n quickly takes her own suitcase. The man hands Draco a key and points towards a door at the end of the hall. "Last one on the left. Breakfast is at 8:00 am sharp.", he just tells them and stomps down the staircase again. "Charming.", y/n comments dryly. "That's just old Goover. Don't bother with him.", Draco chuckles. "Goover? That's his real name?", y/n asks while they walk towards their room. "Dunno. That's just what my parents call him.", Draco shrugs. At the door, Draco starts fumbling with the key and tries to open the door. "And he's your parents' friend?", y/n asks surprised. Draco's father looked so sophisticated. It's hard for y/n to believe that he's friends with a guy like Goover. Draco manages to open the door and pushes it open. "Yeah... uh they used to be in this club together. Here we are! What do you think?", he quickly tries to change the topic.

Y/n enters the room. The room has the same old-fashioned style as the rest of the house. There's a fire burning in the fireplace, filling the room with a comfortable warmth that immediately makes her drowsy. "I take the bed close to the wall!", she announces and throws herself onto the bed. "Sure.", Draco says and settles onto the other. Y/n starts unpacking some things from her suitcase while Draco watches her.

Y/n rolls over to face Draco and she props her head on her hand and says: "So, what now? Lunch?“. Draco nods. "Yes, I know a good place. C'mon!“, he says and stands up. Y/n pushes herself from the bed and grabs her purse. "Let's go.“, she smiles.

Somehow y/n expected to choose a fancy restaurant with steak or filet. His family does not look like they eat the same way they dress, namely expensive. However, Draco takes her to a fish and chips shop that looks like it's been opened somewhere in the 70s. The smell of fryer oil hits them in the face upon entering. An elderly old, white couple stands behind the counter. "G'day my lady.“, says the man and gives y/n an overexaggerated bow and a toothy grin. "Och, George. Be a little bit more serious around our customers.“, his wife says and nudges him. Y/n takes an instant liking to the couple. They remind her of her grandparents who live in the Yorkshire Dales and have a little cottage in the middle of nowhere. They used to have a farm with sheep there but since they retired they gave away most of the animals. "We'd like some fish and chips, please.“, Draco says as he walks up to the counter. "Then you're at the right place, lad. You want some mashed peas, too?“, the man asks. "No, thank you. Y/n?“, Draco says as he turns to y/n. "Yes, please! And some vinegar, too!“, y/n cheers. They pay for their order and sit down to wait for the food.

"So, tell me about the accident at school. What happened?“, y/n asks Draco as they wait. Draco looks down at his hands and solemnly says: "A student died in the tournament.“. Y/n wished she'd be surprised but everything she heard about the school screamed deathtrap to her. Basiliks, soul-sucking creatures, dragons. Nothing of that screams 'safe' to her. The only thing she's surprised about is that this didn't happen earlier. "Oh, I'm sorry. Was he a friend?“, she says compassionately. Draco shakes his head. "No, I barely knew him. Was in a different house and all.“, he tells her. Y/n crooks her head in thought. Considering the fact that he didn't know the guy, the whole thing left Draco pretty shaken, y/n thinks. She also notices how he doesn't really want to talk about it, so she quickly changes the topic. "How were your finals? I feel like I could've done better.“, she tells him. Draco gladly accepts the topic change and starts talking about his own exams. "The finals were terrible! I mean the results were fine but I just hate the exam days.“, he complains. Y/n nods in agreement, happy that they found a common topic. "Yes, they're just so stressful. It's like how am I supposed to write three exams in one day? My head is already smoking after the first one!“, she adds. "True. Which subject did you find the worst this year?“, Draco asks her. Y/n hesitates for a moment. She knows that they have completely different subjects at Draco's school. Witchy subjects. Does she lie now yet again or does she tell him the truth? She decides on the latter. "Algebra. It's my worst result. I was truly desperate when I saw the exam.“, she tells him truthfully. Draco frowns and gives her a confused look. "My school teaches muggle subjects.“, y/n tries to explain. "Why would they do that?“, he asks. Y/n has to think about that for a moment. "Well, muggle subjects are about real-world stuff, so it makes sense to learn about that too, you know?“, she tries to argue. "Real-world stuff? You consider the muggle world real but the wizarding world not?“, Draco asks her confused. Y/n shifts in her seat uncomfortably. Yes, it's exactly like that. She lives in the muggle world, her reality, and the wizarding world may be real but it is just some far-away fairytale world for her. However, that's not something she can tell Draco. Suddenly, she feels very hot and she can feel some sweat rolling down her neck. "I just mean the muggle world is as real as the wizarding world. So, we should learn something about both worlds since we can't just ignore the existence of the other.“, she explains. Draco ponders on this for a second and y/n is proud that she gave a clever answer. It's something she truly believes in. Muggles should learn about wizards and the other way around. Right now, muggles and wizards just live next to each other and y/n wonders what might happen when they start living together, in one society.

Before Draco has the chance to reply, the man behind the counter interrupts them and brings over their plates. "Bon appetit, my lovebirds!“, he says and winks at them while he puts their plates down. Somewhere in the back, y/n can hear the woman groan "Och, George! Leave them alone!“ which makes her chuckle. In the end, he's not wrong, she thinks. Y/n and Draco thank them and pull their plates towards them. "Enjoy!“ she tells Draco and he gives her a smile. For a few minutes, they eat in silence. Y/n hasn't had some real fatty, unhealthy fish and chips in a while and she truly enjoys it. With a mouthful of fish she groans: "Man, this is so good!“. Draco gives her a grin and swallows. "It is, isn't it? It's the best fish and chips in the whole of England!“, he tells her. Y/n nods in agreement. "You know, my parents used to take me to Cornwall every summer holiday. On the last day, we always had fish and chips in this crappy old shop at the coast. This reminds me a lot of it.“, she narrates. "Why are they not taking you anymore?“, Draco asks her. Y/n shrugs. "I don't know. They're both busy with work, I guess.“, she answers. Draco pushes some food around on his plate. "You have a good relationship with your parents?“, he continues to ask. Y/n thinks about this for a second. "I guess. I mean we don't argue a lot, unlike other kids in my class. It's mostly because I bring home good grades and don't act rebellious, I think. But it's not like we spent that much time with each other, just around the house for meals and stuff. And you and your parents?“, y/n replies. Draco continues to push his food around and takes some time before he answers. "It's similar but my parents are also very strict, especially my dad. Even when I'm not acting up, sometimes I just say something he doesn't approve of and he gets pissed off.“, he mumbles. Y/n already thought that's what their relationship was like.

She is ready to move on from the topic when Draco suddenly asks: "Do you sometimes feel like your parents do stuff you'd never do?“. "I mean, yes. My mom always wipes off the soles of her shoes after entering the house. I'd never do that. I just take them off. I only wear them outside anyways, why bother wiping them all the time?“, she says. Draco shakes his head and frowns. "No, not like that. I mean like... I don't know... bad things.“, he tries to specify. Y/n crooks her head. "Depends. You mean like tax evasion bad or murder bad?“, she asks. Draco shrugs. "Something in between?“, he offers.Y/n leans back in her chair and looks up to the ceiling. She is trying to remember if her parents or any family members ever did something that falls into that category. "Well... my uncle supports the alt-right movement, at least in spirit. He doesn't do much besides having a big mouth.“, she tells him. Draco looks a bit confused. "You know the type of people who'd like to oppress people of color and women? Like, he told me that abortions and illegal immigration should be punished with the death penalty at a family dinner.“, she explains. Draco nods relieved, then looks at his plate again. "Are your parents like that sometimes?“, y/n asks him softly. "Hm, yeah.“, Draco tells her almost embarassedly. Y/n reaches over the table and takes his hand. "Don't worry about it. Important is that you don't get involved with stuff like that.“, she says and squeezes his hand.

Suddenly, having lost all appetite, y/n proposes: "Hey, why don't we get out of here? Let's have a look around town and discuss what we want to do for the rest of the day“. Draco agrees and they both get up. They bid the nice couple goodbye. Y/n feels relieved when the fresh, warm summer air hits her face. "I'm probably going to smell like a deep fryer for the whole next week.“, she says while sniffing her clothes. Draco snickers and casually takes her hand. Y/n has to blush a bit and doesn't look at him. She also doesn't let go, though. Together, they stroll through the narrow streets of the medieval town. They decide that they take a walk along the Avons and check out the Market Walk. Y/n stops at a bridge and yells: "Draco, look!“. A family of ducks are merrily paddling along the shore. Draco walks up behind her and places a hand on her lower back. He stands so closely behind her that y/n can feel his chest slightly pressed against her side. Carefully, she leans back into him and Draco puts his arms around her, pulling her close. He leans his head against hers. "They're so cute.“, y/n whispers. Her heart suddenly beats up into her throat. "You're cute.“, Draco whispers back and strokes over her hair with his lips. Y/n twists in his arms so that she can look up to him with wide, almost expecting eyes. Draco softly presses a kiss to her forehead. When y/n doesn't pull back after it, his gaze flickers towards her lips. Y/n leans a bit closer to him and Draco lowers his lips so he can properly kiss her. Draco's lips are soft on hers. His hands find their way into her hair and he pulls her head closer, deepening the kiss. Y/n feels as if she is pudding in his arms. For a moment, she forgets that they are standing on a busy street. Draco pulls back and looks at her for a moment. "I've been waiting to do this since you stepped out of the train.“, he tells her and y/n has to giggle. "Well, you have a whole weekend to do this a couple of times more.“, she teases him. Draco raises an eyebrow and asks: "Is that an invitation?“. Y/n gives him a peck and answers: "Yes, it definitely is“.

They let go of each other and walk to the market hall hand in hand. Y/n feels like she could fly and all worries from this morning are long forgotten. The couple strolls through the market hall. Y/n stops at some shops and picks up some trinkets and books. Draco sneers at her affection for romance novels and y/n makes fun of him for being forced to read the great classics by his parents. Eventually, they have tea in a small tea room. They sit crammed in a little nook, holding hands under the table. The women serving in the café watch the two giggling and putting their heads together with soft smiles. It remembers them of a time long ago when they were first in love. On their way back, they stop at a Tesco and get some sandwiches. They have their dinner at the shore of the river and watch the sunset together. When y/n grows cold, Draco pulls her into his lap as an excuse to warm her up. However, all he does is steal some kisses. Something that y/n doesn't mind he does. When the streetlamps light up, Draco helps y/n up and they make their way back to the inn. They stop holding hands a block before the inn and create some distance between them. Obviously, Goover is not supposed to think that some cousins are romantically involved with each other.

Back at their room, y/n takes her toilet bag and disappears into the bathroom to have a long nice shower. She wants the smell of fish and chips out of her hair. Returning dressed in her pajamas, Draco also retreats to the bathroom. She uses the time to text her parents that she arrived safely and how she spent her day. She quickly puts the device away when she hears Draco opening the door again. A towel lays over his shoulders and water drips from his hair. Y/n thinks he looks marvelous. Draco plumps onto his bed and dries his hair. "So, what do you want to do before going to bed?“, he asks her. "I brought some card games if you wanna play.“, y/n proposes. She ends up teaching him Skip-Bo and UNO. Being a terrible loser, Draco demands compensation after she hits him with a 4+ for the fifth time. They end up making up on the floor between their beds. Firstly, their kisses are sweet and careful, still testing each other's boundaries. With time, their kisses grow more heated and longing. Draco pulls her into his lap again and his hands start roaming her body. He slides his hand under her shirt, stroking against the soft skin of her lower back. Y/n's hand messes up his hair. At some point, Draco's leg falls asleep. In an attempt to shift their position, his long legs hit the nightstand and the vase on it tips over with a loud 'clonk'. They let go for a moment, looking bewilderedly at the source of the sound. When the vase doesn't fall onto the floor, they are just about to continue when there is a loud knock on the door. "What are you children doing in there? You pay for what you break!“, Goover's agitated voice rings through the door. The two quickly dart apart, scared the man will open the door and see them in a compromising position. Draco clears his throat and quickly yells: "Sorry, I walked against the nightstand. Nothing's broken“. There is shuffling in front of his door, then silence. Draco and y/n look at each other with wide eyes, and then they both have to laugh. Y/n quickly brushes through her hair with her hands in hopes of looking more presentable. Draco shakes his head and chuckles. "Maybe that was our cue. Probably best to leave it at that for the night.“, he says. Y/n nods. She's a bit glad that they got interrupted. Kissing Draco like that felt good but she also had no idea where they were going with this and if she really wanted to go there, wherever that was.

After brushing their teeth, they settle into their retrospective beds and turn the lights off. After the conversation dies down, y/n lies wide awake in her bed. She turns over to Draco and listens to his breath. She stares into the darkness, hoping to make our Draco's shape. Eventually, Draco turns towards her and she notices that he's still awake. "You know“, Draco suddenly whispers into the dark, "I kinda really wish we had that double bed right now“. Y/n giggles at that. "I could come over“, she whispers back. "You could.“, Draco agrees. Y/n bites her lip in contemplation. "But no funny business?“, she carefully asks. "No funny business.“, Draco agrees again. Y/n slips out of her bed. The floor is cold beneath her naked feet and she hurries to get under Draco's blanket. He puts the blanket up and y/n cuddles herself into his chest. Draco pulls the blanket and his arms over her. Y/n can hear his beating heart. Draco puts his hand into her hair, softly messaging her scalp. The warmth and Draco's hand against her head start to make y/n dizzy with sleep. She nuzzles into his neck and slowly lets sleep take over.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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[feeder86]

Broken

Jesse’s knee was fucked. At least, that was what the doctors had told him; although not in so many words. It meant that everything he had worked towards, for almost his entire life, was ruined. He’d ridden through college on a full sports scholarship and played football professionally. He was in the prime of his life, with big money starting to look tantalisingly close. Yet, that was never to be. It was both the best and the worst news that Jesse had ever had. But in either case, he knew that his entire future had just shifted onto an entirely different course.

Heading back to college seemed like the most logical choice for him. Unlike many of the other athletes he’d met over the years, he knew he had a good head for academia. Plus, at twenty-three, he still had a great chance of making a good career for himself. Then, without the added stress of training and games to play, Jesse knew he would also have plenty more time to really make a go of things and excel; taking on a PhD and three years of hard work ahead. His family thought he was insane. The injury had happened so recently, they thought he needed time to get used to things and try out other options. His younger brother was also trying to go professional and they wanted Jesse around to support and coach him. But Jesse had done things their way for far too long. He’d felt his father’s firm hand at his back throughout his adolescence, guiding him in a direction he had inevitably taken. Now that was all over, and it was time for Jesse to do something that was purely for himself.

Jesse had enjoyed staying in the dorms the last time round and believed that going back was probably the best decision for him. But whilst there was no way he was going to share a room with anyone again, he hadn’t quite realised the vast difference in maturity that he felt, in his mid-twenties, surrounded by people who, on paper, were only a few years younger than him. Being so much taller and built than the other guys, Jesse was well used to the impressionable young men following him around like some sort of god. representing everything they wanted to be themselves. He was also well experienced with the unsubtle flirting from girls; flicking their hair and gazing at him with longing. Jesse just wished that they would all leave him alone. They all looked at him; his broad chest, large biceps, athletic form and strong, masculine features, assuming him to be something that he wasn’t. They presumed that they knew what he would like, how often he liked to party, how much beer he could down in one go. 

They knew the stereotype of the football jock, but no one knew Jesse. Not really.

Jesse knew that he needed to find new friends in college; alone in a strange city as he now found himself. But Jesse had never once been short of friends before. Not that any of them were good to him now. Losing a football career and any hopes of fame and fortune will soon show someone who their friends really are. Jesse was done with the jocks and the flakes and the airheads. He wanted a new type of friendship circle this time around. On the first day, he didn’t think twice about trying to be friends with Ben; just the look and shape of him was so different from everyone else he had been forced to work alongside his entire life. 

Ben was perhaps slightly less than six foot tall, but equally as round. About the same age, Ben looked refreshingly like he hadn’t done a day’s exercise in his entire life. His arms were thick and flabby, with drooping nipples under his t-shirt and an entire tire of fat around his waist. He was also one of those guys with a surprisingly large ass on him; wide and doughy looking. To Jesse, however, this obese guy’s body was absolutely fascinating. He’d never once been around anyone so big in his life. 

Jesse was worried that he was coming on a little too strong, making such an effort to be buddies. Ben clearly wasn’t used to hanging out with guys like him. Perhaps he was the type of fat guy the jocks used to pick on in high school? Nevertheless, Jesse persevered, determined to explore different types of friendships to the ones he had had before.

Having already done his undergraduate degree at the college as well, Ben seemed to already have his social circle established. At first, Jesse had to invite himself along to their nights out at the bars, their nerdy board games evenings and midday coffee meet-ups. With all of them being overweight or obese, they seemed to look at Jesse with distrust. What was he even doing hanging out with them? Why was he bothering? It was only when Jesse started to prove his smarts in classes and began dominating the leaderboard of their board game nights that they finally started to relax a little; Jesse wasn’t all that different from them after all.

What interested Jesse most of all about his new friends was finding out how they were all so damned fat. He observed them all carefully; what snacks they ate, how much incidental exercise they got walking around the college. No matter what, his brain couldn’t seem to make the statistics fit. He could see that Ben had a small soda addiction, perhaps partly explaining why he was so much more obese than the others. Jesse wanted to ask him what it felt like to be that fat, to feel his body jiggling as he walked and his fat rolls sweating in the strangley warm fall season. But Jesse knew he couldn’t ask those things. For the most part, he could see their embarrassment about their weight: the way they dressed to try and conceal it and readjusted their clothes whenever they started to stretch unflatteringly across their blubbery bodies.

For Jesse, it was all new, this freedom to eat and drink whatever he wanted without repercussions. It was fun, nibbling on potato chips with his larger buddies and enjoying creamy lattes in the middle of the day. It felt naughty after all those years of being told that his body had to behave  like a machine. What went into it was every bit as important as the performance his body could give on the field. Leaving all of that behind was, perhaps, even a little erotic for him.

“Which gym do you work out at?” asked Harrison, one of the guys at the dorm, just as Jesse went into the kitchen area one evening.

“I don’t go to a gym,” Jesse shrugged. Harrison was one of the boys who was always asking him to sign up for sports with him; hungry for his strong body to win them success. Athletic, but without the natural skill and ability for sports that Jesse had, Harrison was still on a quest for body perfection; asking Jesse about his diet and weight training regime on a regular basis; always wanting to know about the workouts Jesse had done when he’d signed up for his football team after college.

“What’s your exercise regime then?” Harrison pressed, eager to see what weights and dumbbells Jesse must have in his bedroom instead.

Jesse shrugged again. “I don’t have a regime,” he replied.”My knee is fucked and I can’t play professionally anymore, so what’s the point?”

“But, aren’t you worried you’ll just get fat?” Harrison asked, watching with curiousity as Jesse began eating a pack of potato chips from his cupboard in the kitchen.

Jesse rolled his eyes. Was that really everyone’s worst fear in the world? “There are worse things than being fat, you know?” he grumbled, seeing that guys like Harrison were probably the reason why Ben and his friends had taken so long to trust him. 

Guys like Harrison just lacked that little bit of maturity. Being those three or four years older than him, Jesse felt like he finally had a better perspective on life; slipping a bottle of soda under his arm and heading back to his bedroom to study.

The first few weeks of college were soon over with, and Jesse began to feel like he was finding his feet. His grades on the first few assignments were in and it was clear that he was getting into a good stride. But, if he was completely honest, he could have done without the girls who were consistently approaching him. There seemed to be groups of them in every area of his life: at the dorms, the college department; even in the social spaces Jesse would frequent to hang out with his new friends.

“Why don’t you go over and talk to her?” his new friend Callum asked, having jealously spotted that the most gorgeous of girls was making eyes at Jesse as they all sat together at the bar one evening.

Jesse slapped his arm over his overweight buddy and smiled. “Because I’m here to hang out with my friends, not chat up girls,” he laughed, before using his large hands to carry as many beers as he could for everyone back at the table.

“But look at her!” Callum sighed with longing. “If I looked like you, there’s no way I wouldn’t be over there flirting with her.”

Jesse smiled, but inside he was already starting to worry that his new friends were noticing his lack of interest in having a romantic life. It wasn’t that Jesse hadn’t been with girls in the past. He had. But he had never been one to chat girls up at a bar and take them home with him. The sort of connection he longed for was about more than just sex. He’d wanted to spend time getting to know them first and feel that sense of togetherness. Some girls lost interest as the fifth or sixth date came and went, with no clear sign that sex was on the table for them.

Jesse tried to look up and see if the girl was still making eyes at him. She was. But now she was also smiling keenly at him, having made eye contact at long last. Jesse sighed, briefly considering going over to at least chat with her, if only to satisfy the others. But, no. He didn’t need girls in his life right now, complicating things. And so, squeezing himself in-between his overweight buddies in the booth, Jesse settled in for a good night with them instead.

Within no time, Thanksgiving was almost upon them. Being the only one who hadn’t been home to visit his family, Jesse’s friends began to question him about what he would be up to whilst they were away. They couldn’t get their heads around the fact that Jesse’s family had never made a big deal of Thanksgiving and that he had no intention of leaving the lonely dorms for it.

“Come and spend it with my family,” Ben offered, seeing that the group had stumbled upon an awkward sticking point for Jesse and his underwhelming relationship with his family back home. “My mom always makes far too much and she will be delighted to have someone else join us this year.”

“Seriously?” Jesse asked, a little embarrassed about how much his face had lit up. “They won’t mind?”

Ben smiled. “Trust me. My mom will love having someone else to overfeed this year!” he joked.

It was clear that Ben had not been exaggerating. Jesse had never seen so much food at a dinner table before. He looked over at Ben, starting to understand his enormous size a little more. Everyone in his family was huge, from his aunts, to his grandparents. And why wouldn’t they be, indulging in all of this? The grease glistening off the roast potatoes; the giant slabs of fatty meat on all of their plates. Ben’s inhibitions had gone as well. Back with his family, his natural greed was on full display as he gorged, then snacked the entire time. Jesse wondered what his parents would think of him, sat there with them all. They’d no doubt comment on how disgustingly fat they all were; looking down their noses at every single one of them. Perhaps that was why there was also a strange eroticism for Jesse to keep up. He’d trained to play football, so he was no stranger to massive meals. But being gluttonous just for the sake of it was new and exciting for him, and he felt his blood beginning to pump into his groin as he sat at the table with a family of absolute pigs.

“More dessert?” Ben’s mother asked Jesse, ladle ready to spoon some more out for him.

“Yes please,” Jesse nodded, feeling the tightness in his shirt arousing him.

“Well, in that case,” chuckled Ben’s very large father with a smirk, “you might as well spoon some more on for me,” he joked, seeming to notice Jesse’s excellent appetite and make a friendly competition out of it all. “I’m not about to be outdone by a newbie at Thanksgiving!” he laughed.

Jesse laughed too. He’d taken to Ben’s family with ease, finding the relaxed atmosphere of their home so unlike the one he had grown up in. Ben’s father, a simple enough manual worker, seemed to look at his son with such love and admiration; as if he hardly believed he had a boy smart enough to be studying for a PhD at college. It was certainly nothing like the reaction Jesse had had when he’d told his parents about his future plans after his sports career had ended. And so, despite how full and tight Jesse’s stomach felt, he kept on eating, eager to keep up the friendly spirit of competition.

Afterwards, Jesse’s stomach felt like it was carrying a lead weight. Yet, he felt elated to have shared in an experience of pure gluttony. He stared at his reflection in the mirror; the stress of buttons on his shirt, the arch of his bloated stomach. He burped, unbuckling his belt and releasing the top button of his pants, allowind him to breathe at least a little easier. He defied any one of those girls back in college to continue lusting after him were they to see him in this disgustingly overindulged state. After years of honing his athleticism, feeling and looking as he did in that moment felt so incredibly fulfilling and arousing. The calories and sugar were flooding his body on a scale he had never experienced before. Jesse knew that if he ate like that every day, he would end up just as large and blubbery as the rest of Ben’s family; something that he had known for some time, he would enjoy more than anything else in the world. It was why he had been drawn to Ben and his friends, and wny he hadn’t stepped foot in a gym since his knee injury. He wasn’t interested in a relationship because he longed to be free to explore his own body on his own terms. Jesse wanted to feel the fat invading his body in the same way it had consumed those he now surrounded himself with; the way it widened their backsides and fluffed up their arms and chest; the giant, fat-filled stomach that must have felt so incredible to carry around all day, and the ever-present jiggling large love-handles, hips or arms.

‘Fuck it!’ Jesse thought to himself, marvelling at his own reflection. For his whole life, he had been made to believe that being fat only ever led to unhappiness. Now he could see, through spending time with his larger friends and his day with Ben’s family, that such a belief was unfounded. In that moment, he decided to put away his guilt about his desires to grow; those urges he had attempted to bury his whole life. He wanted to be known for his enormous size, giant belly and incredible appetite. Jesse no longer felt like he wanted to be fatter anymore. He needed it.

The food was everywhere, even as the night progressed. Jesse kept on having to slip back into the bathroom to get a look at himself, lifting his shirt and gazing with awe at his bloated midsection. Now that he had made the decision, he knew he would never go back on it. He could eat whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it, and still stuff more into himself in order to grow. The feeling of making that choice had overwhelmed him with joy; like a pressing weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he had found freedom at long last.

Jesse became the life and soul of the party, so great was his happy mood. They laughed and drank; each one of them sinking further and further into the chairs and sofas as it became increasingly hard to move from the sheer amount of food they had all consumed. 

Ben’s overweight cousin, who was a couple of years older, had been making eyes at him all night. As Jesse got hornier and hornier from the overating, he decided to allow her to snuggle up closer to him on the sofa after everyone else had started to drift off to bed. He put his big arm over her shoulders and felt a shot of adrenaline as her hand slipped onto the arch of his temporary tummy. They kissed with surprising passion, Jesse’s hands enjoying the softness of her own blubbery body. He pulled off his t-shirt and her eyes fell upon him with delight. She marvelled at his strong chest and large biceps, but didn’t look once down at the incredible distension of his overfed stomach that evening. “You’re so strong and fit!” she cried, squeezing his bicep.

Despite going in for another kiss, Jesse’s boner had been killed. Strong? Fit? Hadn’t this girl seen him gorging like a pig all night long? Hadn’t she witnessed how tight his shirt had become? The beautiful strain of his buttons? No, all she had ever seen was the good-looking football jock; just the same as everyone else.

Jesse pulled out, apologising for getting carried away and blaming the beer. Then he took himself off, alone, back to the guest bedroom, feeling surprisingly wounded.

Despite the failed romance, Jesse knew that the time away at Ben’s place had done him the world of good. As well as resetting his mind and focus, those few days had also left a permant mark on his body. He’d been some way off his peak physical condition before then; his stomach muscles had faded somewhat over the months and his muscles, particularly those in his shoulders, hadn’t quite popped like they used to. But now there was a slight layer of almost sticky fat starting to build across his middle. He sat up in bed, seeing how the skin was folding just above his belly button, creating a distinct roll of softness. He fingered his belly button, knowing it was deeper than it had once been. He’d never seen his body like this before in his life. Even when he was bulking for muscle gains, he’d always followed his trainers’ advice and done it in a clean fashion. Having fat on him was new, even those three or four pounds of it. It was his; something he had chosen to do to himself; reshaping his body in the way he wanted it, rather than what everyone else had always trained him for. The fat thrilling and, without a doubt, it was currently the only thing that got him really hard.

Jesse’s holiday season had been brief. As always, his family had booked in at a nice restaurant for Christmas dinner, and the day had passed much like any other. He’d been determined not to stick around for more than a day or so, returning to college in order to get a head start on his Spring workload. He sat up in his bedroom, imagining just how much food the likes of Ben’s family would be stuffing themselves with over the festive week and wishing he was there to share in that indulgence. But it was also the week that he himself had started to experiment a bit more. It still felt all new to him, the ability to choose exactly what he wanted to eat and drink, and he filled his shopping cart with all of the things he’d always been told to stay well away from. He’d started swallowing whipping cream, enjoying the excitement of consuming something for the soul purpose of making his body fatter. As he stood naked in the mirror, he could see the changes happening before his eyes; the slight bulge of lovehandles, the bloated look to his midsection that remained in place, even first thing in the morning. WIth all the shopping vouchers he’d been given for Christmas, he’d started buying clothes that he knew would be too large for him, like a form of cosmic ordering; willing his body to swell up by those extra couple of inches his clothes now allowed him to grow.

“Easy!” cried Jesse’s friends as they gathered one evening for another round of board games. “These snacks are supposed to be for everyone.”

“You snooze, you lose, guys!” Jesse chuckled, determined to get as many of the free calories as he could. Finding obese friends had really helped to open his eyes to the bad little habits and dietary mistakes they all fell foul of, inevitably preventing them from losing any weight, even when they claimed to be trying to. Jesse had studied them all; determined to adopt as many of their ways as possible. If he ate like these chubby, overweight guys, surely, with time, he would become one too.

Perhaps it was around the start of Spring, when Jesse had been so consumed with his own massive workload, that he started to lose track of all the little changes to his body. Those small, almost insignificant, eating habits he had adopted had now become thoroughly ingrained, thickening his body from top to toe. He walked from the dorm shower area back to his bedroom, with a towel wrapped around his waist, noticing people looking at him in a way that he had never experienced before. He saw raised eyebrows and heard whispers behind his back as he passed, but he still hadn’t fully registered what it had all meant.

“Jesse,” smiled Harrison, the young jock who had always hung on his every word back at the start of the year. He sucked in air between his teeth and seemed to be considering how best to say what he wanted. “People are talking about you, dude. And not in a good way!”

“Why?” Jesse asked, frowning. It wasn’t him keeping everyone else awake with loud music, or drunkenly coming in late at night speaking at the top of his voice. He’d been nothing but considerate with everyone else.

“There’s no easy way to say this,” Harrison delared, filling his chest with air as if he was about to make a huge announcement. “You’re getting fat, man!”

Jesse raised his eyebrows, then laughed with relief. “Oh, is that all?” he sighed.

“I’m here for you though, buddy!” Harrison offered, putting a hand on Jesse’s strong back. “I can help you get back in shape in no time.”

Jesse smirked. Harrison had indeed been working hard at the gym and the results were clear to see. But Jesse had no interest in working out with anyone, let alone this guy. “No, thanks,” he sighed. “My sporting days are behind me.”

“But…dude!” Harrison tried, exasperated. “You’re getting FAT!”

Jesse stood up, enjoying the fact that he would always be so much taller and bigger than Harrison, despite how much the jumped-up little jock tried to make him feel ashamed of his body. “Look, man. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine! He patted the guy on the shoulder and then walked away, feeling more proud of himself than ever before.

Having had a talking to, like the one Harrison had just tried to give him, most people may have tried to cut down a little and slow down. Not Jesse, though. It wasn’t that he especially enjoyed the attention so much as he wanted people to see him in a new light. He could see the bulges in his shirt from his love handles and the gradual pushing out of a little paunch, feeling absolute glee that he was finally becoming a different person. He remembered how erotic it had felt to feel the first little flutter of fat as he walked, and the delight when he tried to put on a pair of tight pants that he hadn’t worn in a while. It was hard to describe his absolute determination to never go back; shipping off everything he had outgrown to the clothes bank straight away and only ever looking ahead: bigger, fatter, softer.

Jesse’s parents had been shocked and disgusted when they came by to see him one weekend, catching Jesse by surprise as he,  Ben and a couple of others were playing video games in his dorm bedroom. Their looks said it all, especially when they saw Ben’s gigantic size; Jesse’s mother turning to see his enormous backside as the boys quickly got the hint that they needed to leave.

“You told us that everything was all right here!” Jesse’s dad began, only just containing the volume of his deep voice.

Jesse grumbled, already wishing they would leave. It wasn’t as if they had any interest in him now that he was just another failed athlete. They still had his brother at home, with high hopes of sporting glory.“It’s all fine,” he declared.

At that, Jesse’s father scoffed. “Like hell it is!” he growled. “You insisted on coming here. You said it was the only way to make something of yourself. Yet here you are, sat on your ass, playing video games with a load of losers like THAT!” He pointed at the door through which Jesse’s overweight friends had just left.

“You’ve put on so much weight!” Jesse’s mother began next, looking around the room and easily finding evidence of all the things Jesse had been eating recently. “You can’t stay here if you’re not going to look after yourself. Your father and I will just take you home!”

“I can do what I want!” Jesse shot back, matching their impertinent tones. “I haven’t relied on you for anything in years!”

“We’re not going to stand by and watch you turn into one of those fat, nerdy lumps like you just had in here,” his dad went on, looking at the large dent in the beanbag beside Jesse’s bed, created by one of the guy’s wide, chubby backsides. He kicked it with disgust, like it had somehow been contaminated.

“Tough!” Jesse growled back. “It’s my life. I can be friends with whoever I want. I can eat whatever I want. And, more importantly, I can look however I want to as well.”

“Well, your brother is…”

“No. Just stop there,” Jesse demanded. “You’re not comparing me with Josh. I know he’s doing really well for himself and his football. He’s going to be living the life that I know I’ve missed out on because of this knee injury. But I’ve accepted that now and I’m… happy.” His smile lit up, realising that this had actually never been truer. “I’m doing well here. Everyone is really impressed with me. I have friends who like me for who I am, rather than because of how I look or how well I played football. And sure, maybe I’ve gained a few pounds, but… does that really matter when you can see that I’m genuinely happier this way?”

Jesse’s parents didn’t stay long after that. What was there to talk about after they had fundamentally different ideas about what happiness should be? Yet, Jesse didn’t feel sad as he watched their car driving off. What he felt was release.

Life in the dorms moved on, much as it did every year. With Jesse’s building confidence as he grew chubbier, he started to fantasise about sharing his new lifestyle with someone else; picturing how it might work. Millie had arrived at some point after the holidays. As an international student, she seemed to take her studies more seriously than many of the others here and she was closest in age to Jesse than any of them. Jesse had felt himself being drawn to her; a large girl with a swollen face, rounded tummy and sizable rear. He’d seen her making eyes at him, even as his tummy continued to grow outwards.

Jesse was flattered. Apart from Ben’s cousin that one time, he’d never been approached by larger girls before, and the idea of dating someone so overweight intrigued him. In the same way he had surrounded himself with larger friends, would dating a bigger girl also have a positive impact on his waistline? With mixed feelings, Jesse decided to accept her offer of a date and was delighted when she suggested going to an all-you-can-eat place downtown.

Wearing his larger pants and a shirt with a good amount of room in it, Jesse decided that the only way he would know whether they would work or not, was to let her see ther real him. He ate and gorged himself throughout, going back multiple times and making the most tremendous effort to display the disgustingly gluttonous, pig-like appetite he had trained into himself. Then, with his stomach aching from reaching its capacity, his heart burst with excitement, seeing that Mille was still smiling at him, as she too ate more than most people in the world would consider to be reasonable.

There was not much talking on the cab ride back. Jesse and Millie’s hands were all over each other; the aching fullness of Jesse’s stomach helping to make him harder than ever before. Moreover, Millie was rubbing his full, swollen stomach as if she really, genuinely found it his most attractive feature.

“I want to show you something,” Jesse began. His feelings for Millie had only grown as the night had gone on and they had landed back in his bedroom. He felt sure that she was the one for him, and he was going to prove it to himself once and for all. “I’ve never shown this to anyone before ever,” he smiled nervously, trying to push away the nagging doubts at the back of his mind. But if he was going to do this, to be with someone properly, she would have to know right from the very beginning.

“Show me,” Mille smiled sweetly back; her eyes full of adoration for him.

“I’m just worried that you won’t like me anymore,” Jesse mumbled, letting his concerns get the better of him.

“Just trust me,” Mille mouthed softly, kissing him once again.

Jesse nodded. He stood up and reached into the very back of his underwear drawer, where he had hidden his most prized possession. He returned to sit on the bed next to Millie, unfolding a large amount of material. “I bought these when I was nineteen and away in Texas on an interstate football tour,” he began, finally letting Millie see that what was in his hands was actually an extremely large pair of men’s underwear. “I’ve always had this longing inside me; this desire to know what it feels like to be obese, Well, more than obese,” he chuckled, looking at the size of the underwear he was holding up for her to see. “To be fat enough to fill something like these.” He looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction. “Now that I’m done with football, it’s given me the kick I needed to really go for it.”

“To get fatter?” Millie asked, as if her English skills were suddenly failing and she could no longer understand.

Jesse nodded keenly, as if trying to make up for her seeming lack of enthusiasm by doubling his own. “To just eat whatever I want, whenever I want. To enjoy being bigger than everyone else and the shape my body takes on. That’s why I was eating so much on our date tonight,” he explained, as if trying to remind himself why he was telling her all of this. “I was trying to show you the type of man I really want to be.”

Jesse put the underwear down and held Millie’s hands, gazing into her eyes and searching for that connection he had felt with her only moments earlier. But Millie simply pulled her hands away and mumbled awkwardly. “It’s getting late,” she muttered, standing and heading for the door.

“Maybe we could go out again sometime?” Jesse asked, suddenly realsing how pathetically needy he sounded.

“I don’t know,” Millie replied, reaching for the door. “I’m very busy.” 

Then, just like that, she was gone.

Jesse looked around at his suddenly empty room, realising that he might just have made the biggest idiot of himself.

It became apparent the very next day that Mille had not kept Jesse’s confession to herself. And why would she? As far as bad first dates went, having the guy admitting to fantasise about growing mostrously fat was definitely up there with the best of them. Jesse first heard the sniggering behind his back, the blatant looks of superiority as people made eye contact with him as he walked down the corridors. Guys who had looked up to him for so long suddenly turned and walked away when they saw him coming, or elbowed each other and whispered some joke under their breaths. It was clear that Millie’s account of what had happened had spread like wildfire through the dorms. From there it had only continued its unabating march. Jesse could sense who knew straight away and it wasn’t long before even his best friends were clearly whispering about him behind his back.

“We hear you’re having a bit of a tough time in the dorms at the moment,” Ben began once he had conducted a final sweep, making eye contact with the others, as if to have their permission to say what they had clearly all been talking about.

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Jesse replied sternly, closing himself up as if to shield himself from anything nasty that was about to come his way. He’d spent many hours fruitlessly wishing that he could turn back time and take back his weird decision to tell Millie something so personal about himself; but what use was that? It was out there now and he would just have to deal with it. It wasn’t going to stop him gaining weight and, perhaps, in some strange way, this was always what he had really wanted: a way to stop people seeing him as nothing more than a football jock.

“There’s a spare room at our place,” Ben went on. One of my housemates is moving in with his girlfriend and Rob was going to take his room,” he nodded over at their other friend across the table. “But, we thought maybe you needed it a bit more.”

“You do know what they’re all saying about me?” Jesse asked suspiciously, wondering why anyone would be making such an offer to him after all that had happened.

“Yeah, we’ve heard it all,” Ben nodded. “People can be such dicks when others don’t fit into their tidy little boxes of how they think life should be lived.”

“Don’t think that gives you a free pass to eat all of our food though,” smiled one of the others who also lived with Ben.

Jesse laughed, feeling an incredible sense of relief. The most private, shameful and closely guarded secret about himself had just been revealed to the entire world. Yet, here were these friends that he had known for less than a year, all sat around the table supporting him regardless. Jesse knew that he really was the luckiest guy in the world.

“Jesse! I hardly recognised you!” Ben’s mother exclaimed when he arrived the next Thanksgiving that year. “I’m pleased to see that you’ve been looking after yourself,” she smiled, seemingly genuinely pleased that Jesse looked so full and well.

“He’s been in training for this for months!” Ben joked, tapping Jesse’s now permanently distended belly: round and ball-like in appearance.

“Good!” Ben’s mother laughed. “We’ve got so much food in and it all needs eating!”

With his own little belly this year, Jesse didn’t feel quite so out of place at the table. Everyone, including Ben, had seemingly gained a few pounds throughout the year and so, for the first time in a while, there was no judgement to be had about his appearance. Contrary to last year, Jesse was actually trying to hold himself back a little when it came to eating. He’d become so skilled at the art of eating enormous quantities, it didn’t seem right to take advantage of Ben’s family and gorge in the way that he actually wanted to. Sure, they all laughed as Ben’s father tried to compete again by having more pudding (something that felt like it may become an annual tradition), but Jesse simply smiled, knowing that he could still eat so much more.

“I see hanging around with Ben has been rubbing off on you,” Ben’s cousin stated after a few glasses of wine and clearly still feeling a little bitter about how Jesse had walked away from her last year.

“Oh, trust me,” Ben laughed. “This guy is the bad influence. Not me!” he pointed at his best friend.

Jesse smiled, rubbing his gut with love, like it was the most precious thing he had ever owned. “That’s quite true,” he nodded, noting that every one of their friends had gained at least a little weight since he’s been more open about wanting to gain weight himself.

“You know,” Ben’s father began, coming into the room a little while afterwards, “after seeing how much food you can take down, I think you should think about having a go at some eating contests.” He seemed deadly serious and even a little enthusiastic about his idea. “I used to do them back when we first got married. I was as thin as a rake back then as well!” he grinned, holding up his little finger as if to emphasise how small he used to be. “But you clearly have a good capacity for all this. I feel absolutely winded after all that dessert and you’re still taking it in your stride, like a pro!”

Jesse nodded; slowly at first, then with more certainty. “Yes,” he agreed. “I think I’d be quite good at that. What a good idea!”

Ben’s father sat back, looking smug. “You see!” he smiled at everyone else in the room. “I do have the occasional good idea. Just remember though, Jesse; if it’s a cash prize, make sure you send me a cut of the winnings!” he joked.

“I never knew that your dad used to be slim when he got married,” Jesse asked Ben later on that evening when everyone else had headed to bed. “I just… assumed that he had always been big.”

“Dad grew up in quite a poor family,” Ben explained. “He didn’t have the chance to eat as well as he does these days. He only started getting really fat when he was working for himself.”

“This might seem a bit strange,” Jesse began, wondering how to phrase exactly what he wanted to ask. “But, do you think your dad might be… a little like me when it comes to his belly and weight gain? I mean, I might be wrong, but he seems to revel in being so big and eating as much as he can.”

Ben chuckled and nodded heartily. “Dad is definitely like you. And mom fully encourages him. That’s partly why I wasn’t all that shocked when everything came out about you. It didn’t seem so weird to me. I've never spoken to my parents about your weight gain kinks but... I sort of get the impression that my dad already knows; don't you?"

"Absolutely!" Jesse nodded, having had almost an almost hour-long conversation with the man, discussing the best foods to bloat on in order to increase his stomach's capacity.

"My dad’s weight gain was never treated as something shameful in this house," Ben continued. "In fact, I’d grown up wanting to be big, just like him.” He looked at Jesse’s shocked face and laughed. “You’re not as much of a freak as you think you are! There must be millions of other people out there who enjoy this stuff. I’m certain of that.”

“I thought I was just some freak of nature,” Jesse chuckled. “It never occured to me that there might be other guys who had felt the urge to just…get fat.”

Ben scoffed at the idea. “Nah, trust me, I bet it’s a lot more common than you think. I mean, take Sarah for example,” Ben began, leaning in a little as he made reference to the new girlfriend that he had yet to tell his parents about. “I’m not sure how keen she is on the idea of me getting absolutely massive, but she certainly doesn’t want me to lose any weight. She says it’s sexy and has a knack of knowing when I’m getting hungry.”

Ben patted his large belly, as if it was his greatest asset to score with the ladies. “And on that note,I’m going to get some more cake,” he smiled wickedly.

Although the idea sat in Jesse’s mind for some time, he didn’t actually get involved in his first eating contest until the following Spring. By then, he felt properly ready for it. He had cultivated the most striking of pot bellies; rounded and solid-looking. Even in his days of peak fitness and bulking, he had never had such a massive chest as he had now; the fat building in his pecs and even starting to squish itself under his arms. At long last, he had a double chin and puffy cheeks that helped to emphasise the lifestyle he had excitedly taken on. There was now nothing left in his wardrobe from his old days; every pair of underwear had been stretched out of shape, every pair of pants defeated by his thickening butt and thighs. At 280lbs, Jesse knew that he was an intimidating sight, sat up there on stage, ready to compete. He looked around at his competition, some larger, some smaller; all of them seemingly ready to do battle.

Perhaps they had underestimated how seriously Jesse had been trained to take competition. Winning was the only happy outcome. He’d studied the tactics carefully, knew the anecdotes of the best competitive eaters off by heart from reading newspaper clippings and magazine articles about them. So, when the whistle finally blew and they began, Jesse took on the best possible pace for success. Glancing from side to side, he could see that he was definitely middle of the pack. He didn’t panic. 

Surprisingly, it was the fatter guys who were soon starting to lag behind. The moment Jesse caught sight of one of them stopping for a quick sigh, he knew they were next to fall. He simply ate and ate, glancing occasionally up at the clock and determined to keep to his strategy. 

By the final minute, Jesse was comfortably ahead. The excitement of the competition was over for the crowd and they now watched on, in sheer awe and disgust at how much Jesse was still continuing to get down him.

And so, with a very large, very bloated stomach, Jesse posed for his first photograph carrying a winner’s shield. He hadn’t noticed how his t-shirt had ridden up, almost to his belly button, but he stared with delight at the picture afterwards. At long last, he was a fat guy.

Jesse put a lot of his continuing success with gaining weight down to the many competitions he was entering and winning. The massive calorie boost days were well worth it, helping to increase his ever expanding capacity. He began to plan his studying around them and finally bought himself a car so that he could travel a little further to compete. He got used to seeing the same faces at each one, though he found none of them to be particularly friendly. Perhaps it was the fact that he was so unrelentingly successful at every event he went to that pissed them all off.

“Jesse?” asked a large, strong guy, peering at Jesse as he psyched himself up before the competition would begin. The man seemed to be staring into his bloated face, as if searching for someone he recognised underneath.

Jesse looked up, not needing more than a split second to recognise the old football buddy he’d trained with during his time playing in Texas. “Scott!” he smiled, standing up to walk around the table and hug him. “It’s great to see you!” he beamed, remembering how much fun Scott used to be, back in the day.

“I was so sorry to hear about your big injury,” Scott went on. “I meant to write to you at the time but had lost your address. You must have been devastated!”

Jesse shrugged. That all seemed like so long ago. “I’m over it,” he declared. “I’m just about to start my final year of my PhD. I haven’t really looked back if I’m honest.” He smiled at his friend, finding it surprisingly reassuring to see a friendly face. “What about you?” he asked. “Are you still playing?”

Scott shook his head and slapped his hand onto a stout, budding paunch that Jesse was pretending not to notice. “Unlike you, going out in a blaze of glory, my sports career just sort of petered out to nothing.” Nodding sympathetically, Jesse couldn’t say that he was all that surprised. The coaches had always been on at Scott about his weight. He seemed to fluctuate, up and down, to a frustrating degree. It made their lives hell. “Do you miss it?” Jesse asked.

Now it was Scott’s turn to shrug. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “But I suppose I haven’t found a new way to excel like you have. The guys at the back say you’re a bit of a beast when it comes to these competitions!”

Smiling with pride, Jesse rubbed his large stomach. “I do like to win!” he grinned.

“I can see you’ve been doing an awful lot of winning,” Scott laughed, his eyes locking onto Jesse’s gut. “I’ve got to ask, just what do your parents make of the new look? I always remember them being pretty…intense about your training regime back in the day.”

“They hate it,” Jesse shrugged. “But I don’t see them so much these days. Plus, they have my other brother to fuss over now. In fact, he’s just been signed up by…”

“Yeah,” Scott nodded. “I saw that on the sports news. You must be proud. But…” he added, seemingly determined to get back to their last topic, “I honestly hardly recognised you, dude. You used to be a machine on that football field. I never ever thought you’d be the one to get so big when you finished playing.”

Ordinarily, Jesse would have shrugged and tried to change the conversation, but there was a strange fascination in Scott’s eyes that didn’t feel at all like he was berating or belittling him for gaining so much weight. On the contrary, he seemed enamoured by it.  “Well, if ever you want me to help you train that little starter gut of yours up into a competitive eating champion, just give me a call,” he joked, poking his old buddy in his meaty stomach.

Jesse had expected a recoil or an embarrassed chuckle from his old friend but, instead, Scott’s smile seemed, if anything, to grow even broader. “I’ll be cheering you on from down there,” he pointed at his seat. “Let’s get a drink afterwards.”

Scott’s encouragement was loud and clear from the crowd; that deep, booming voice Jesse remembered so well from across the other side of the football field. 

“Come on, Jesse! Get it down you! Chew and swallow! Eat it all!”

If anything, Jesse found it a little off-putting. It was so bizarre having someone from his old life encouraging him to gorge like this, all he actually wanted to do was laugh. It was like witnessesing two worlds collide.

“You were incredible!” Scott laughed later, recounting the event in great detail from his own perspective. “When you started on the twelfth burger like it was nothing, everyone knew it was all over for the rest of them. You were insane!”

“Thanks,” Jesse smiled, feeling as pumped as a beach ball. He didn’t usually stick around long after the competition ended. Overeating always made him horny; the tight feeling in his stomach and heaviness of his body. Having to sit there and talk with Scott felt surprisingly confusing for him; unsure what emotions he was even feeling, trying to burp up the gas that was making him uncomfortable.

“How did you get into doing these sorts of competitions?” Scott asked, his eyes filled with interest.

“I was just putting on a lot of weight after the sports career ended and my friend’s father suggested this might be a good idea after seeing how much food I can pack away.”

“Let me guess, your friend’s dad has a massive gut on him!” Scott joked.

Jesse nodded, laughing. “Yeah, he does!” He rubbed his own aching belly. “I’ve got a lot of catching up to do still.”

Just then, the waitress, who had barely left them alone since they’d sat down, came over once more and filled Scott’s coffee cup, slipping him a note with a smile. 

“What’s that?” asked Jesse curiously, once she had gone.

Scott unfolded the paper and rolled his eyes. “Her phone number,” he tutted.

Jesse grinned. Scott was a handsome guy, with strong shoulders, large arms and a pretty face. Even with his husky middle section, Scott was still someone who looked like he could pull in a lot of female attention. “Well done, you!” he nodded, impressed. The waitress was a very pretty girl. ‘A perfect ten’ as Ben and Jesse’s other buddies would most likely describe her. “Why don’t you go talk to her? I don’t mind,” he offered.

“No way. I’m not interested. I’m here to chat to you,” he stated with absolute certainty. “Go on,” he insisted. “You were telling me about how you’ve got a lot of catching up to do…”

Jesse sucked in and wriggled awkwardly in his seat. After the incident at the dorms, he’d grown wary about opening up too much to people. But, since everyone else in his life had come to learn of his peculiarities, what was the difference to add one more? “I’m sort of… deliberately trying to put on weight,” he mumbled. “Specifically, I’m trying to add a lot more fat,” he clarified, knowing that to both he and Scott, ‘gaining weight’ had always meant packing on muscle.

“Well, you’re doing an awesome job!” Scott nodded enthusiastically. “I genuinely found it hard to recognise you with that new belly on you. I bet events like these help?”

“Yeah,” Jesse nodded, trying to take Scott’s positive reaction in his stride. “Provided I don’t let my eating slide afterwards, I always gain at least a pound or two after an eating competition. But, the thing is, I’m six foot, six. Every pound takes a lot longer to make an impact on my body than it does other people’s. If I was a foot shorter, I’d already be huge.”

“Well, how big are you looking to get?” Scott asked, as if this was any other stimulating conversation.

Jesse simply raised his eyebrows. “Big!” he nodded with certainty.

Scott sat back and marvelled at him. “Jeez! You are living the good life, aren’t you?” he chuckled. “Do you know how many times I wanted to quit sports and just eat whatever the hell I wanted? I could never do a clean bulk. I used to stuff myself with hamburgers and chocolate milk, then act dumb whenever they told me I was gaining too much fat.” He sat back, grinning at the memory of those days and all the trouble he used to create for the trainers each time his belly grew back. He slapped his little paunch and sighed. “I don’t worry so much these days about what I eat. But letting go entirely, like you have! Fuck! I wish I had your courage!”

Jesse sat there, flattered beyond words. Even his best friends had always tried to sweep his desires to grow fat under the carpet; seeing it as an unflattering oddity that they could choose to ignore. “You wish you were like me?” he asked, hardly believing that anyone could wish such a thing.

“I really do!” Scott nodded with absolute sincerity.

After swapping numbers, Scott stayed in touch and even promised to come cheer Jesse on again whenever he could. He’d call Jesse on the phone and tell him about eating events that he’d heard about: competitions and food festivals that he thought Jesse might be interested in.

“How’re the gains going?” he’d ask on the phone.

“Not too bad,” Jesse would reply, consciously trying to keep his voice down so that the guys in the other room wouldn’t overhear him. “My gains are slowing down, but it’s still on an upward trend at least.”

“Good man!” Scott replied. “You’ve just got to keep on eating if you want to see those results. Just push through the pain,” he added, making Jesse smirk, thinking about how many times they’d both heard that phrase when they’d played football.

“Jeez! Your brother is hot!” chuckled Ben’s sister as they all sat round to watch some of the football that Thanksgiving. “I can’t believe you’re sitting here with us when you could be there, wathcing him play,” she pointed at the screen.

“I wouldn’t miss Thanksgiving with you guys for anything!” Jesse smiled. “Besides, I don’t really have a lot to do with my family anymore; Josh doesn’t even return my calls,” he pointed at the screen. “I’ve heard that all the money has started to go to his head a little bit. A taste of success and all that…”

“I still wouldn’t say no,” Ben’s sister went on, lustfully watching Jesse’s brother’s tight butt as he strutted down the pitch.

Jesse smirked, thinking how remarkably similar he and his brother had once looked and how the girls all used to gaze at him the same way Ben’s sister was staring at the screen now. He couldn’t think of anything worse than going back to those days. At 330lbs, he sat there proudly, feeling his butt spreading into the seat a little more than last time and helped himself to more potato chips and beer as he watched the energetic happenings on screen.

“You seem a little different,” Jesse’s father commented, watching his son’s best friend from across the room. “You’re… happier somehow.”

Jesse’s smile was still on his face. He’d eaten so much that evening, yet it wasn’t that making him grin from ear to ear. “I’m just in a good mood,” he chirped.

“No, I know you pretty well by now,” he smirked. “Something has definitely changed.

Jesse looked down. He’d grown pretty close with all of Ben’s family, seeing them every holiday and the occasional weekend throughout the year; but it was Ben’s father that he felt the most connected to of all of them; closer than even his own father. Of course he would know when Jesse was brighter than usual.

“Is it a girl?” Ben’s father asked, perhaps feeling that romance was in the air, given that they had recently celebrated Ben’s engagement to his new fiancee.

Jesse gave a noncommittal nod, knowing that Ben’s father would never judge him for the choices he would make in life. “It’s not a girl,” he replied. “But there is someone that I think I might be feeling… I really enjoy talking to him. I don’t know. I’m just a bit confused.”

“And does he feel this… connection between you both?” Ben’s dad asked, not losing the least bit of interest in their conversation.

“I don’t know,” Jesse replied honestly. “He calls me all the time and… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, but he just sort of understands me more than most people do.”

“Then you owe it to yourself to find out,” the older man replied. “Finding someone who truly understands you is not an easy thing. I don’t know where I would have been all these years were it not for the Mrs,” he explained, using the same loving voice that he always employed whenever he spoke about his wife. “My advice: just speak to him about it. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Jesse didn’t follow the advice right away. The final year of his PhD was even more manic than the previous two combined. He’d excelled so much during his time at college, he didn’t want to drop the ball at the very last minute. The holidays came and went. The winter days were ending and there he found himself, back on the phone with Scott, planning their first meet up in weeks.

“So, let me ask you this,” Scott began. “If you could have a magic pill and be 500lbs pretty much instantly, would you take it? Or do you like the long road of slowly fattening more and more?”

Jesse chuckled, but his eyes filled with light and happiness. He’d often thought about this question, never ever believing that such a bizarre scenario would even occur to another human being. Yet, here was Scott, surprising him once again.

“What?” Scott asked, unnerved by Jesse’s laughter. “It’s a stupid question, isn’t it?”

“No,” Jesse replied emphatically. “It’s the perfect question. Absolutely perfect.”

Scott was quiet for a moment, perhaps reflecting on the close bond between them both. “Well, what would you choose then?”

“The pill,” Jesse stated confidently. “I’d take the pill every time!”

A late invitation to share the preliminary finding of his research at an academic conference in New York meant that Jesse had to cancel their meet-up that Spring. He knew it was the right decision for his career, but he didn’t feel any better about making it. He called Scott up from New York, after the guy had graciously asked to be kept informed of how his presentation had gone, even after cancelling at the last minute. He was pleased to hear how well Jesse’s research had gone down and the connections he was making with his peers.

“And what about the food?” Scott asked next. “Are you managing to keep your calories up?”

“You wouldn’t believe how many fast food places there are here!” Jesse laughed. “I don’t think I’ll have any problems gaining a few pounds this week.”

“Good!” Scott cheered back. “I think all this talk of food has definitely been having an impact on my waistline as well,” he went on, as an audible pat of his stomach was heard down the phone. “I was going to ask you what you thought when we were going to meet up this weekend, but I know I’ve definitely gained a good few pounds. I’ve never had a belly like this on me before!”

Jesse felt himself getting even more aroused as he imagined Scott looking thicker. “I can’t wait to see it!” he replied, allowing the slight flirtation to glide down the phone.

“I’m looking forward to showing it to you,” Scott flirted back.

There was a slight pause, then Jesse summoned up the courage to ask his next question. “Scott, let me ask you something…” he almost whispered. “Would you take the pill?”

A greater contrast between a guy who had started and ended a PhD was unlikely to ever be found. As Jesse stood in the mirror, admiring his reflection in a cap and gown, he couldn’t have felt more proud of himself. He’d done it: graduation day! But that wasn’t all he was proud of. After edging his way over 370lbs, Jesse could feel the real mass he had been craving, beginning to take over his body: that wide, soft butt and thick, doughy thighs, the sheer scale of his love handles and protrusive arch of the fat, overstuffed gut he had created. He loved how big and heavy his chest felt, enjoyed the feeling of the fat building under his oversized arms and the constant presence of the double chin under his face. He seemed to have crossed some invisible line; every pound of fat now sitting atop many layers of fat underneath. He could feel how soft it all felt now; how lardy and blubber-like. The obesity he had longed for ever since he could remember. From a man who had arrived here at college, broken and lost, Jesse now knew his place in the world, and how best to conquer it.

Perhaps it all felt better because the future was no longer a mystery to Jesse. He knew he was heading into a good job, right there at the college. He’d be able to keep all of his friends, who had all seemed to find their feet there as well. He stood with them all, not looking in the least bit out of place with the fat boys, bar his towering height. With the ceremony over, they threw their caps up into the air and cheered for the photographs. Jesse laughed, realising that the simple motion of lifting his arm up in the air had allowed his shirt to come loose and his fat belly to fall out. “Fat Boy problems!” he tutted, smiling with pride and noticing that he wasn’t the only obese guy having to tuck his shirt back in.  Then, amongst the clapping crowds, Jesse saw a very recognisable face walking towards him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jesse laughed, pulling Scott into a hug.

“”Well, when you said no one from your family was coming, I made sure I took a couple of days off work to be here,” Scott smiled, his gaze fixed on Jesse’s monstrous gut as soon as they separated from the embrace. “You’re looking huge!” he grinned excitedly. “Absolutely enormous!”

“I could say the same to you!” Jesse laughed, reaching forwards and slapping Scott on the little paunch that had now matured into a solid-looking gut, beautifully round under a tight-fitting shirt.

“This is all your fault,” Scott joked, rubbing his pot belly and turning more to his side so that the true scale of the growth could be seen by Jesse.

“You’re welcome,” Jesse grinned back, incredibly turned on to see Scott’s thicker body. “Come meet everyone!” he cheered, already starting to lead the way.

It was a long day of celebrating. Scott wasn’t too sure of his way around town, so Jesse naturally offered to walk him back to the hotel. However, he hadn’t expected how natural it would have felt to keep on walking into the lobby with Scott; to go up into the elevator; their fingers brushing against each other’s as they waited to arrive at the correct floor. Scott unlocked the door, then stepped back, allowing a very obese Jesse to enter before him. Then, as the door closed, the two fell into the most passionate kiss that had ever been.

Jesse chuckles as he recounts the story these days. Most of these young guys don’t get it. They’d grown up discovering the fat fetish sites and socials for themselves. For them, it had only ever been one simple internet search away. They couldn’t imagine being in their mid-twenties and not knowing that other people had urges to grow fatter for the sheer pleasure of it. It’s hard for them to picture Scott and Jesse’s early romance, talking quietly on the corded phone every week, with Jesse trying his best to keep their conversations private. Demisexuality wasn’t all that known about back then, and Jesse often wondered what his life would have been like had he gone to college in these times, instead of back in the early nineties. Somehow, he imagined that his waistline would have been hit a lot harder and faster than in the times he had been there.

“Someone’s been following the diet plan!” Jesse nodded, seeing young Kirk at the gainer event he and Scott organised each year around Thanksgiving. “Very nice!” he smiled, as the chubby guy lifted his arms and spun around for him. “I’d never guess that you used to play football now,” he stated, knowing from experience that that was probably the compliment he had most wanted to hear himself, back when he was gaining the first hundred pounds or so.

The fattening man looked proud, lifting his large arm over his stick thin fiance, whose hand slipped onto his broad belly. The slender guy had been rather vocal about Kirk reaching three hundred pounds before their wedding day next March. However, Kirk looked like he was already well over that threshold and destined to become ever more massively obese, even before he had a ring on his finger.

In their mid fifties, Scott and Jesse were two very large fat guys, weighing in at over 500lbs each. They’d embraced the extreme side of their desires and, despite having to maintain a certain level of exercise to keep the joints and back troubles in check, they continued to enjoy every single blubbery pound. They were legends on the gainer scene: knowledgeable, friendly and approachable. If someone came to them expressing a genuine need to fatten up, the two men could tell them exactly how to do it in the fastest and safest way possible. In fact, many of the blubbery pounds on show that night were as a direct result of their wise words and advice to these once confused and broken men. Jesse remembered those dark days of feeling so alone and openly ridiculed for his desires and vowed that he would never let anyone else go through what he went through. He would surround them all with love and encouragement to help them all achieve what they all needed.

“I think these gainers are getting fatter every year we run one of these things,” Scott laughed, standing hand in hand with Jesse as they watched the beer-soaked, fat bellied men dancing away to the music.

“I think you might be right,” Jesse nodded, proudly overseeing them all and knowing that he had helped to create this small world that he most wanted to live in; the community he was incredibly thankful for.

Scott leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, making Jesse blush, even after all these years. Then, hand in hand, the two enormous men took themselves off for the night.

[zeegaazeegaah]

could you maybe do something with gavi where youre dating but youre a famous model whos known for having lots of bfs and being a party girl and he gets a bit insecure because all the media are saying your cheating on him, but you assure him hes enough and you go to an event together looking really cute and its just fluff,, sorry if its long 😭♥️

fame; gavi

word count: 2,305

a/n: There might be parts or sentences that might offend you. Please take them with a grain of salt. They are for the plot to make sense. Remember, this is all purely fiction. You're reading fan fiction.

It would be a blatant lie to say there are no pros to being -what today's society considers- beautiful because her beauty has gotten her this far. From being a mere teenager some years ago, she went on to being one of the top models in the world doing endless shows, endorsing brands one after another, and being in advertisements. Her beauty allowed her to pay her parents back for the support they've always given her, it allowed her to buy them a luxurious house, dress them in luxurious clothing, it allowed her siblings to buy cars, and live in nice apartments with their partners.

Now here's the problem. Men want her. Women do as well but it's not the same. One would stalk you, and be so obsessed with you to the point you have to think of implementing restraining orders against them while the other, wouldn't even think of reaching such lengths. Even if they do, it can't be as scary. Being a woman this successful at her young age has equal, if not more, cons than pros. One glance at someone at a private party of some multi-millionaire and they think you're in love with them. Of course, they would, not just anybody attends these parties. With the amount of money they have, their entire personality is based on that which allows them to delude themselves into thinking anybody wants them while completely forgetting the fact that she is an independent woman who has just as much money as them.

She is not as easy as the media portrays her to be. Surely a grown woman like her would pursue someone who interests her, especially, when she can have whoever she wants but that doesn't mean she dates everyone she lies her eyes upon just for the heck of it. When you're a woman who is pretty and rich and successful, doesn't want people to deem her as beauty with no brains. People are bound to hate you. Even women. You'll hear from TV the countless men she 'broke the hearts of', them claiming she is a succubus who seduced them but is it truly what happens?

She doesn't have time for that. To be frank, she rarely has time for herself, let alone men, which leads to unfortunate short-lasting relationships with each man. And men being men, they would spread lies about her to the media for attention. She just lets them. They are jealous that she does not feel hung up on them after the breakup. They are jealous that she moves on just as quickly as they do. Truthfully, almost every man she has dated thought of her as a prize to win, to possess, and once they got her, they no longer treated her as nicely, no longer treated her as an equal. The lack of respect became evident and it was crystal clear they'd continue to think she is some dumb pretty girl who earned easy money.

Her friends? There are no real friends when you are self-made rich, especially in this industry. Her ex-colleagues hate her, wondering how long her career will last since they want her to fall from grace the way they did. Yet, they still keep tabs on her, whisper fake compliments to her ears, and be on her nice side just in case they need her for a favour one day. Whatever friends she has for the time being are her managers, public relations team, personal makeup artists, and stylists who would leave her just as fast as they appeared her my life. They would move on to work for someone who would benefit them whenever. Wherever she goes, people would talk behind her back, and more often than not it's never something nice.

She got lonely. Throwing countless parties every time she got a bit of time for herself only to have more people have things to gossip about, and more lies to tell the media. More 'friends' going behind her back and posting countless pictures of the parties That's how many people know her. A successful top model, a player, and a party girl.

She met Gavi at an after-party of the brand of a product they both endorsed for. They needed to interact for the sake of working for the same brand but she tried her best to avoid him. Engaging in small talk only, in case people start to talk about how she targeted a football athlete to lure this time. She needed none of that drama. However, she has enjoyed football all her life and watched matches whenever she could. Nobody needed to know that, she didn't need people around her to go, "Oh, so you like football? Name-" Thus she already knew how Gavi plays and how well he does so. The second time they met was after her PR team suggested it would be good for her image to go watch Barcelona FC's match live as they both became colleagues recently. She was already impressed by his skills but after she got to watch it live, she was beyond impressed.

After the match, this time, however, the small talk was avoided. She was way too enthusiastic to prevent herself from spilling compliments laced with deep football knowledge on their team's performance which received positive responses but a quite remarkable expression from the said colleague. While she was leaving, he followed behind, which he must've been told by someone to do out of politeness.

"So, what was that reaction?" She stopped and raised a brow at him.

A flush appeared on his face before he blinked rapidly to reply, "I-I wasn't expecting you to-"

"-know about football?"

He aggressively shook his head, eyes widening, "No! I wasn't expecting you to miss out on your schedules to watch our game."

"How do you know that?" She cornered him.

"You're famous. How would I not know? We were told about it." He gulped.

"Is that so?" An amused smile appeared on her face as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Or did you search me?"

He finally looked her in the eye properly, "Do you do that to everyone?"

There you go. She lets out an annoyed sigh, rolling her eyes while doing so, "Of course, you'd think that. Just like everyone."

"I don't know what you mean by that but I am having a hard time here being teased by one of the prettiest women ever so, you should have mercy on me." His face morphed into a flirtatious expression which surprised her.

Her mouth widened before she sent a smile at him, "Dear, don't you worry. It's nothing harmful. Plus, you're a kid."

"I'm eighteen and you're older than me by barely two or three years. Who are you calling kid?"

"Woah, how do I formally apologise then?"

"You can start by befriending me."

And indeed, they were friends. In fact, Gavi was the closest and most real friend she has ever had. Him being around her age helped a lot. Their sense of humour matched. He wasn't rude or disrespectful, he'd always listen. He wouldn't hesitate to voice out exactly what he thought about something and she did the same. She listened to him vent when he wasn't performing well despite trying his best. She listened to him voice out his frustration, she tried her best to understand him and be there for him whenever he rang. Gradually they began to find time for themselves to hang out and with her experience, they sneaked out successfully without getting caught. Away from the cameras, away from the stares.

And then, they became more than friends.

×××

If anyone took a peek at Gavi's mind they'd probably laugh at how ridiculous the new information would be to them. Gavi? Spain's youngest player? The youngest player in his country to score a goal in the world cup? Someone so successful at his young age is insecure? What for?

His eyes trail across the dark room with colourful flashes of light and lands on his girlfriend. The woman wanted by everyone. He sees some men hit on her only to be met with a tight-lipped smile that politely told them to back off. In order to maintain a peaceful relationship, they keep it a secret from the world, from the scrutiny of people, and from the unsolicited comments of journalists that could sabotage it and disrupt their peace. It's certainly much better this way but it also has its cons as one can see.

Gavi clenches his jaw with a pointed stare at other men approaching her and engaging in conversations. Her gown is black with a slit that starts from the top of her right thigh. She looks absolutely gorgeous. Not only in his eyes but in everyone's as well. He notices one of the men give her a once-over, making sure to check her out before he has to leave her be. One can tell his veins are pulsing as he clenches his jaw harder and begins to breathe noisily. Her eyes finally catch his across the room, his breath almost hitches at the sight of her subtle smile for him but his head is too preoccupied with other emotions at the moment.

As she begins to approach him, he stalks away towards the exit's direction and informs his manager that he isn't going to stay in this event any longer. He drives off to his house in his car without her, it's not like they can get into one car in front of people anyway. Not long after she arrives. Her eyebrows are drawn together in concern as she tilts her head to look him in the eye, grabbing him by the shoulders. "Babe, are you okay?"

It's as if her touch has magic, all of his anger dissipates in an instant. He feels vulnerable. He tries to look back into her eyes, only to fail to do so as he ducks his chin. The look of concern doesn't leave her face as she notices that. Her hands begin to rub his shoulders as she whispers, "Will you tell me what was that at the event? You seemed angry."

Now he feels like a complete jerk. He seemed to be angry at her when in fact it wasn't the case. He feels stupid for walking away from her and driving off without letting her know like an immature person. She doesn't deserve this. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before heaving it. Opening his eyes to look into hers, he mumbles a sorry quietly.

She frowns at that before grabbing his hands to make him sit on the sofa behind them and settles beside him. Her hands reach to hold his face, her fingers softly trailing from the apples of his cheek to his chin. "Don't be sorry. There must be a reason you're angry. I've never actually seen you angry so it's worrying me."

"It's just that," he rakes a hand into his hair, sighing. "the way they look at you made me so angry. I couldn't do anything on top of that. Everyone wants you but then again you told me about how you were treated in your previous relationships so that makes me angrier."

She gets up to sit on his lap and wraps an arm around his neck, the other hand holding his chin. "That makes a lot of sense. I hope you realise that your feelings are valid. I can see why you are angry or frustrated or whatever you're feeling right now. Okay?"

He nods his head in response.

She leans closer, her face merely an inch or two away from his. Tilting his chin with her hand, she looks directly at him, "Next time you're mad, just ring me and let it out. Say what you gotta say. I will do the same. Do you get it?"

He lets out a chuckle at that before grabbing her face in his hands and pulls her head towards him to engulf her lips with his into a kiss. She giggles at first but it transpires into them making out for some time before she breaks off to land a peck on his forehead.

"Will you keep playing my knight in shining armour this way for a long time?" He pretends to think while asking that.

"Toxic masculinity…" she huffs while rolling her eyes.

His eyebrows shoot up at the accusation. "I only called you that as a compliment."

"Sounded like a mockery to me." She accuses him yet again, narrowing her eyes playfully at him.

This time he rolls his eyes before a sarcastic smile takes over, "I was a minute away from crying into your shoulders. Is that toxic masculinity?"

She laughs at that before muttering, "Well, seeing you cry would've been a sight to behold though."

"What!?"

×××

They fall asleep cuddling, after watching an old action movie to laugh at the CGI. Gavi wakes up first and spends a good amount of time staring at her sleeping face, finding it adorable. There is an embarrassing lovestruck look on his face that he prefers to keep secret from her.

"Take a picture, it will last longer." She mumbles from her sleep to which he jumps away.

"You scared me." He clutches his chest with widened eyes. "Since when have you been awake!?"

"Long enough to know you're a creep." She smirks, her eyes still closed.

"Oh, is that so?"

"I don't like that tone of yours, Pablo." She says before opening one eye to check what he is up to, only to see his hands reach for his neck. "Omg, you're not doing that. You know how ticklish I am there, I'll kill you."

"Too late."

"You're so- O MY GOD- done when I catch you."

#pablo gavi imagines #gavi imagines #pablo gavi x reader #gavi x reader #pablo gavi imagine #gavi imagine #pablo gavi scenarios #gavi scenarios #pablo gavi blurb #gavi blurb #football blurb #football blurbs #football imagine #football imagines

[applejuicefruit]

Can you write something with neymar where reader is from LA and is visiting ney. Then reader gets homesick and becomes a bit distant, but then ney realizes that she is homesick and comforsts reader.

I really loved your other writings so i had to request this one❤️❤️ 

Hii! Thank you for requesting this! I didn’t know if you wanted Neymar to be in Brazil or in Paris in this story 🥲 I hope you don’t mind reader’s visiting him Paris.

I really hope you like this ❤️

ps: i remember when i went to london all by myself when i was 16 and i stayed there for a month and i remember telling my friends i was missing home in italy and they just ignored me :) nostalgia is real people !!!

City of Angels

Los Angeles. Your safe place. Your safe heaven. Your home.

You thought no place on Earth could ever compete with your hometown. You had the hills, the beaches, museums and millions of people visiting every year. It was your home.

You lived in a nice cozy apartment on the Hills. It was small but it was everything you ever dreamed of. Every morning you woke up with the beautiful Los Angeles sun coming through your window, the Hollywood sign in background. It was perfect. Your life was perfect.

Also because you were dating famous football player Neymar. Honestly you had no idea of who he was before you googled him. Being a Los Angeles Dodgers fan meant that you knew nothing about football or soccer as you call it to make Neymar mad.

You met in LA, that’s why you are so thankful for this city. You were both attending the same party and the moment your eyes met you knew it was game over. He introduced himself to you and waited for your surprised reaction that never came. It took you a whole week before finding out who he really was. He always loved this side of you. He dated so many people who wanted him only for fame and money, but with you things were different, you were so pure and kind and not affected by fame or popularity. Probably because that was the normality in LA.

You were getting ready for going to the airport, ready to leave the City of Angeles behind and spend the next two months in Paris with your boyfriend Neymar. You were so excited to see him again but honestly you couldn’t stop but feeling a little sad leaving this city behind. You let a few tears fall while watching the Hollywood sign from your bedroom. Then you closed all the suitcases and left for for the airport.

Almost 9 hours of flight after and you landed in Paris. Neymar couldn’t come and get you because he was practicing that day so he sent one of drivers to come and get you.

The moment you left the airport shock hit you. The sky was so grey you couldn’t even see the clouds, it was raining and it was freezing cold. You weren’t ready for this.

You smiled at his driver and got into the car while you were watching the view from your passenger side.

“Why everything seems so boring?” you asked yourself hoping Ney’s driver didn’t hear you. But he was too focused on the road to even pay attention to you.

Once you’ve arrived, the driver helped you into Ney’s apartment and then left. Neymar gave you his spare keys when he was in Los Angeles visiting you.

His apartment was huge.

Literally huge. It took you almost 20 minutes to visit every room. His apartment included an indoor pool and gym, five bedrooms and 5 bathrooms, a theatre room, a playroom, a large kitchen and a living room with the amazing view of the eiffel tower.

“Maybe it won’t be so bad” you hoped.

You were sitting on the couch watching some weird french movie that you couldn’t even understand when Neymar appeared in the living room.

“You already got yourself comfortable I see” he said coming behind you and kissing your head

“Ney!!” you jumped on his arms the moment you saw him

“Did you miss me angel?” he asked kissing you while he hold you by your ass

“Very much” you replied between kisses

“There are so many things I want to show you” he told you. And so it was. For he first two days he didn’t have practice so he showed you around Paris. It was nice actually. A bit cold but it was good. You loved the museums, the architecture, the churches.

But after the first week passed nostalgia hit you hard. You started missing the sun and the warm of your beautiful city.

One morning depression hit you really bad. You woke up and it was raining so much you couldn’t even go outside and get breakfast. So you stayed at home, sat on the couch with a fluffy blanked around your body watching the rain coming down from the window.

You couldn’t help but let a few tears fall. You’ve never been so nostalgic, but here you are.

You were so stressed that you didn’t even hear Neymar coming out from the bathroom, freshly showered. He was wearing a black t-shirt and some sport pants.

“Meu amor?” he gently approached you, slightly worried when he saw you crying “are you okay?”

“Yes…” you said wiping a few tears from your face

“Sure…” he sat next to you “care to tell me what’s going on?”

“It’s silly…”

“If you’re crying it’s not silly”

“I just-I miss home…” you said letting more tears fall

“What-what you mean?” he asked you a bit worried “you don’t like it here?”

“It’s not that…it’s just-it’s just that I miss Los Angeles so much…I’ve never been this nostalgic I don’t know what has gotten into me, I’m sorry”

“No baby, don’t be sorry, it’s completely normal” he said hugging you “you’ve never been away from home this much, it’s normal feeling a bit sad”

“I know I just wished I didn’t cry…”

“You can cry all you want with me” he said kissing your forehead

“Thank you babe…I really needed it”

“Of course meu amor…you know what? I don’t have any match next week…what if we go back to Los Angeles for a couple of days? Ah? You can show me that crazy fast food you can’t stop talking about!”

“You mean In N Out?” you asked while your eyes were completely shining

“Yes that one”

“Are you sure? I know you love Paris…and it’s your free week…”

“I’m happy as long as you are. And clearly you’re feeling a little bit distressed now…nothing would make me happy than to go back in Los Angeles with you amor”

“I love you so much Ney!” you said wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him while he held your hips

“I love you too baby, so fucking much…” he whispered while you kept kissing.

You couldn’t ask for more. In the end, your life was really perfect.

#neymar one shot #neymar smut #neymar angst #neymar fluff #neymarjrxreader #neymar x reader #neymarjr x reader #neymar #neymar junior #neymar imagines #neymar imagine #psg #paris saint germain #world cup #footballers x reader #football fan #football imagine #brazil

[thesmokingguns]

Looking While Lost

There was something about him. Something pure, unpolluted by the LA way. 

He hadn’t been influenced by the alley way women, with sharp claws and easy smiles that lured men like him in and spit them right back out, never quite the same. 

He hadn’t laughed with men who wanted to see how much they could take from him, men who saw the hope in his eyes like dollar signs to deposit in the bank. 

No. 

Izzy Stradlin was clear eyed and beautiful. Unsullied by people who wanted too much from him. He had managed to escape all of that and just care about the way his fingers strummed his guitar and how his cigarette tasted on his tongue. 

Sure, he liked to party. He liked drugs and whiskey, and the way it all tasted on his tongue right before he buried himself in whatever women was waiting for him. Because he was just famous enough now that finding willing women was easy to do. Almost too easy, if he was being honest. 

Nothing challenged him anymore. 

Songs came easy. Cash came frequently. Fame. Fortune. Creativity. 

He had it all. 

But it wasn’t enough.

Fuck, why wasn’t it enough?

Tapping his fingers on the sticky bartop, he ignored the way people were glancing at him. He was too young to be drinking at 1pm on a Tuesday at some dive bar in the middle of nowhere America. This was the local haunt to men who had lost their jobs and hopes. The place where the banded together, all in their solitude but with familiar faces who didn’t judge their failures because they were carrying their own.

And there he was, just out of place.

The full glass landed in front of him, the bartender hesitating for a second before he just put the bottle of whiskey down, sick of refilling the mans booze. 

Izzy’s eyes skimmed over the liquid before nodding in appreciation, pulling the ashtray closer to him, tapping his cigarette on the edge as he sipped heavily on his scotch. 

Fuck. 

“Dad?”  Eyes all looked down at their glasses, no one wanting to look at the dark haired girl who was pushing light into the dingy bar. 

She stood in the doorway, her foot keeping it propped open as the men all avoided looking at her. None of them wanting to face the light that was shining in or seeing the way that the young girl was looking around.

Izzy looked up, knowing it wasn’t for him and being too curious for his own good to see what was going on. 

And fuck, was she beautiful, in the most hauntingly heartbroken way. 

All big dark eyes, and soft sadness in her frown. The way she looked at the bar, like she knew where her father should be and yet he wasn’t there to disappoint her. Her teeth bit her lower lip and Izzy suddenly knew that nothing that he drank would taste as good as the way that soft pliant mouth would. 

Her eyes landed on him for a second, glancing over him like she was seeing how much he didn’t fit in here before she was looking past him, towards the bartender who was shaking his head at her.

“He didn’t come in, girlie. Still owes a tab from last week. Maybe check down at the pool hall?” It wasn’t unkind how she was spoken to, but there was a hint of pity in the bartender's voice that he watched the girl prickle at like she couldn’t handle the shame that the man was causing her. 

And Izzy hated seeing the way she tensed, wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault. 

But she was storming in, pulling out her wallet and tugging out bills as his eyes widened, feeling the heat of her rage billowing off her as she slammed down the money as the men all watched her, curious. 

“This should take care of it.” She challenged but the bartender had the good grace to not say anything, only taking the money and slipping it into the till that probably could be in a museum as an ancient artifact. 

Izzy was pushing up as she walked out, settling his own tab with too much money as he followed her like she was somehow going to make the ache in his chest go away.

Two blocks down she turned, hands in fists, eyes glaring at him as he paused, realizing that she knew that he was following her. 

“I’m not at the club. I don’t do dances outside the club. So whatever stupid fucking thing that is about to leave your mouth, swallow it down buddy.” His eyes were on her, lazy as the looked her up and down and then smiled as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“What club?” The soft huskiness of his voice made her pause, “Because if you’re dancing somewhere I’m suddenly very interested in going to see the way you move that body.” Her mouth formed a scowl. 

“I’m working tonight at the Sinclair. Stage time is 10PM,” She stepped forward and he realized that she had no idea who he was, which sent a tingle of delight down his spine, “I don’t know if you’re going to be able to afford me.” 

He smirked, a shrug of his shoulders as he looked at her, tasting the way her minty scent tinged the air. Spicy and sweet in his nose making him want to bury his face in her neck, lick the taste right from her sweet skin. 

“Why don’t you worry about finding your daddy, pretty girl, and let me worry about being able to afford you?” Her skin bristled, and right before she told him off a door opened, a man spilling into the street. 

Her head turned as she watched him lean on the back of a gold Buick, his mouth opening to spew vomit out. And then she crumbled, her shoulders caving in as she sighed out and rushed towards the older man. 

Looks like she found her father and Izzy found his latest obsession.

#izzy stradlin #izzy stradlin fan fiction #izzy stradlin fanfic #izzy stradlin imagine #izzy stradlin fanfiction

[cynautica]

One thing that kills me about Alyou is that for their relationship to develop you kind of have to address and utilize the isolation that goes unsaid in the game.

Like, we know Robin isn’t some social outcast. She enjoyed her work and was pretty outgoing. The only live interaction we get to see with another human is with Hal where he says she’ll be missed. She quite literally abandons everything to investigate Sam’s death on a harsh alien planet on the far reaches of the galaxy. She chooses to make herself an outcast. Anyone close to her that hears that is counting the days before she’s assumed dead and missing.

Al-an on the other hand is actively seeking his own people. The entire game is him looking for the other precursors, a goal we can only assume extends well beyond the game. Of which for Robin we can only assume two outcomes: they find the architects within her lifespan or they don’t.

If they do find the architects, how does their relationship fair? Does Robin get sent back to human civilization a hero to architects but a nobody to her own people? There’s no guarantee if she wrote about the precursors anyone would even believe her. Or, doing so makes her and the architects a target for Alterra. There’s no guarantee she’d ever be able to find a job she loved ever again, or, best case scenario her writings about the species make her famous. What then? Sure she might have money and fame, but she’ll no doubt never be able to talk to Al-an again with loads of questions still unanswered.

But what if Robin brings Al-an with her back to the human world? She doesn’t seem to have a lot of faith in humans not acting terrible, trying everything from putting him in a cage to keeping him as a trophy. He might get a kick out of being a science subject at first, but we know he’s not quick to make friends. Maybe he shares some advancements with the humans? If he trusts them that is.

The same goes in reverse in what if Robin stays for some time with architect society? They’d no doubt want to learn everything they could about humans resources willing. However it took Al-an a whole game to understand the nuances of human socialization before they even let him near one. I can’t imagine Robin being comfortable in a whole society full of very tall, very advanced, and very nosey aliens. Best case scenario Al-an shares his etiquette and respect with the other architects or they mostly ignore her. Even with this outcome Robin is still in a world not built for her in mind. She can still make friends with the architects, but they’d no doubt feel clinically asocial.

Then of course the third option, both are fully isolated. They neither find the architects and Robin chooses not to return to human civilization. They both have eachother to keep company, but they’ll always be alone. Humans are designed to seek other humans, and architects no doubt feel the same being social creatures. Sure one another might be “good enough” but there will always be that unmistakable feeling of solitude. Alone together, till one of them dies.

Then what? Does the other move on, driven purely by their desire for scientific conquest on the far reaches of the stars? Adopt a pet and live their life alone like Maida?

The closest thing to a perfect ending is that both the architects are alive and Robin chooses to return to human civilization, but both species are able to build a good working relationship. Both Al-an and Robin are regarded as heroes on both sides and still have the ability to talk every once in awhile. It would be really neat to see precursors join the supporting cast for subnautica 2, being our access port for advanced tech. But then us Rob-an shippers have to face the idea that their relationship would probably end with just friendship or both would still be ostracized for being weirdos

In any solution though there has to be some compromise. A perfect ending isn’t necessarily possible.

This is why I think Alyou should officially be classified as tragic yuri send tweet

#al an x robin #headcanon #Need a cy ramble tag #I’m so normal about this #TBF: parvan exists #so we know the subnautica world canonically has xenophiles #that is a really funny sentence

[doramasquishy2blog]

QUEEN OF TEARS 2024

This drama makes me look forward to weekends. It has the best intro and the plot got me hooked. It is truly a gem to find this drama.

Spoiler alert :Hong Hae In was born with a silver spoon she met Hyun Woo while working as an intern at his grandfather's company called the Queens. The smart and adorable Hyun Woo never knew that she was a real heiress.Later she was smitten by this young man who showed her so much kindness and they both decided to marry.

However their relationship suddenly drifted apart.He decided to divorced her but suddenly changed his mind after Hae In confessed to him that she's sick and had not much time left to live.

After years of being together problems soon arise in their relationship.Hae In comes from an affluent family but lacks maternal love and I think that is the reason why it was hard for her to express her true feelings.She appears cold and domineering but she yearns for love and affection.

Hyun woo is such a pure soul.Despite of the insults and criticisms from others having married a rich heir,he still helped Hae in and had proven those naysayers wrong.At first he was so determined to divorced her but decided to protect her at all cost.

They always say that the rich don't have problems but humans as we are we all do suffer from setbacks.Hae In must have lived well but her health is suffering.As they say" Health is wealth." There is something that money can't buy and that is to go back in time.She was utterly shocked after knowing her diagnosis but she put on a poker face and bravely faced what is right in front of her.

Also the recent episodes shows that the Hong Family started to lived in the countryside.In life nothing lasts forever not even fame or wealth.

The Hong Family lived in a luxurious home but got spies inside their own house who wanted nothing but to steal their properties. In most dramas the rich are plotting towards each other who gets the inheritance whatsoever but this drama is gonna make you laugh and cry at the same time.

Greed knows no end it can lead to someone's downfall.

Hyun Woo's mother is also my favorite she took care of Hae In like her own daughter and the scene at Ep 10 is so touching When Hae In thanked her for all the kindness she showed to her family.

Meanwhile Hong Bom Ja and Grace Ko are such a perfect comedic duo.

Kim Soo Hyun has this huge onscreen presence.He looks really charming and stunning.He is such a good actor.I really love Kim Ji won since Liberation Notes.She is so versatile with every role that she's playing.

On the side note, It has been a long time since I ship kdrama couples in real life after most of my ships sunk but for this one I am making an exception.Aside from their perfect visuals they just really look good together and I can't get enough of them.pretty please if they both are single can they just date.hahaaaa.

Kidding aside I will surely update once the drama ended.

#Kim Ji Won #Kim Soo Hyun #Queen of Tears #kdrama #korean drama #asian drama

[meghantheduchyofpitstains]

The stages of ‘Meghan the Narcissist’s’ relationship with Harry. Three basics stages of a Narcissist’s relationships: Idealize, Devalue and Discard

iDEALIZE

It is a dizzying whirlwind

Meghan and Harry were married after knowing each other for about 2 years. The majority of this time they spent on separate continents. Markle pushed it quick and hard to get to the altar.

“Love Bombing - the initial stage can feel like a drug or a love cocktail as potent as cocaine or heroin because the same feel good chemical called Dopamine is released in the brain by both and we know Harry likes a drug high. During this phase there is intensive sex, exciting travel, constant praise, being put on a pedastool and focused ego driven attention (all release the same feel good brain chemicals as regular cocaine or heroine use would) so the victim feels an addictive high.”

- the traveling from continent to continent spending a few days at a time together so when together it is intense sex which is like a drug in Harry’s brain - releasing the same Dopamine etc. and we know he is a feel good drug addict.

- intense sex fest in Africa

- intense sex as they holed up at Nottingham cottage - seeing the addiction pattern???

- getting the fairytale wedding

- traveling to the South Seas and Africa for work

- clothes and jewelry shopping spending hundreds of thousands of dollars, basically buying anything you have ever wanted

- meeting famous people, private jets, staying in huge mansions

All the Love Bombing high for Harry and the superficial, materialistic, super fame high for Megan

Stage 2: Devaluation

Harry doesn’t know what hit him. He is probably in a state of pure confusion trying to figure out the mood swings and the up and downs. He gets glimpses of how it was during the love Bombing stage but most of the time it is walking on egg shells, repressing himself, confusion and just trying to do what he can to get back to how it was in the beginning and the get those addictive feel good chemicals in his brain flowing again.

Meghan has started to - subtly, insidiously, and covertly—to devalue Harry. “This may happen via putdowns, gaslighting, intermittently lacking emotional or physical intimacy, withdrawing affection, seductive withholding, inexplicably disappearing from contact, or blaming the target for the narcissistic person’s issues (projection).”

What we see happening in the devaluation phase.

- Harry is not protecting her from bad press and looking bad, she is not getting the super stardom and fame she wanted. It is Harry’s fault.

- Harry not making her the belle of the ball, she still is always number 2 to Kate. Harry needs to fix this.

- Harry not getting her a huge Mansion/ mini castle to live in like all the other Senior Royals

- the money/budget being pulled back as the public and the press finds out about how much she is spending on clothes alone. Harry needs to get her the money she expected.

- she is now pushing herself in front of Harry at events and greeting dignitaries and ordering him around at events while she controls him with her hand on his back or clawing his arm at all times. She has always been more important than him.

- making jokes about Harry at her events and stunts. Harry becomes the court jester.

- she is speaking first or cutting Harry off to do all the speaking when they are at an event. Even South Park made fun of her doing this.

The devaluation is in full force in LA as Meghan is trying to break out as the star speaker without Harry, solo events with celebrities, working to be the Princess Diana of Hollywood.

Stage 3: Sooner than later the DISCARDING phase will happen. Probably when the money is cut off or reduced, she will then file for divorce and get the guaranteed payouts and keep the mansion he will have to pay for. She will write a book bashing the hell out of Harry and Telling the world she never loved him because he is a whiney, drug addict, loser.

“Inevitably, the discarding occurs when the person with narcissism either disappears or orchestrates his or her own abandonment by engaging in some form of egregious emotional abuse. The outcome is often shocking for the survivor, unclear as to how someone that he or she fell so deeply in love with could throw it all away.” - Source Good Therapy

I believe the public discarding has started.At its worst, she will use the kids and keep them from Harry. I really believe it will end in tragedy for Harry. Being the grieving widow may be more enticing for her then being a divorcee again?? She will still technically be a part of The Royal family.