#hm. I dunno. these two just has me thinking a lot | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sanguineterrain · 9 months

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redamancy | steve harrington

Summary: redamancy (n.) - the act of loving someone who loves you back; a love returned in full // or, four times you kissed Steve Harrington, and one time he finally kissed you back.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Word count: 5.2k

Warnings/tags: friends to lovers, 5+1 fic format, no use of y/n, FLUFF, PINING PINING, injured s4 steve, hospital setting, general vecna angst (eddie's alive bc i will never kill eddie in my fics), bed sharing, happy ending, and kissing. if that wasn't clear. :)

A/N: fun fact: this is the first time i've written a 5+1 fic! technically it's 4+1 but whatevs. if you enjoy this fic, please give it a reblog and support your local steve harrington tumblrina.

divider by firefly-graphics

i. the promise

"Would you ever get married?"

You open your eyes. The setting sun nearly blinds you through the windshield. Immediately, you stick out a hand to block it.

You're still reclined all the way back in the passenger seat, because Steve's fancy schmancy BMW can do that. He frequently lectures you about doing it while he's driving. Have I taught you nothing? Road safety!

"I mean, I guess so," you say. "If someone ever wants to put a ring on me."

You sit up and pull down the sun visor. Steve turns. His hair lightens in the summer, shades of reddish blond peeking through. He insists his hair has never been anything but brown, fiercely pledging his allegiance to brunettes. You coo at his highlights all the same.

"I want to," he says after a minute. "I wanna get married."

You're parked down the block from your house. You should've gotten out ten minutes ago, but there's never any rush when you're with Steve.

"The line to wed you will be out the door, champ," you say around a grin.

"Hm. I dunno." He stretches in his seat. "Maybe if I was the same guy I was a few years ago."

You wrinkle your nose. "I doubt that."

"But what can I really offer?" he continues. "I'm just some guy who can't get into college."

"That doesn't mean no one will marry you. Some people who go to college are dumber than dirt. They get married. College has nothing to do with it. You can go, if you really want to. One rejection doesn't say anything about you, Steve."

"I guess."

You pull the lever on the side. The seat shoots up with a brrrap! It clicks as you straighten.

"Where did all this come from, anyway?" you ask.

Steve shrugs. "Just thinking."

"Dangerous."

He smiles. "I like to live on the edge."

"Contemplating marriage like the world's biggest sap. Definitely edgy."

Steve hums. His hands are in his lap. He picks at a cuticle, a habit he’s recently developed. You wonder why he’s so anxious.

"Two people from our graduating class got married last week."

Your eyes widen. "You're kidding."

"Nope. Lisa Schell and Gary Brewer."

"Wait, didn't she cheat on him?"

"Yeah, but he slept with her sister, so I guess they called it even."

You shake your head. "That's insane. They're literally babies, Steve. That's like Dustin getting married."

Steve scowls. "He's not allowed to get married before me."

"Not even to his possibly fictional Suzie?"

"Not even to her."

You stare at the freckles on Steve's face and how his frizz kind of looks like a halo in the light. You imagine the feel of his hair in your hands, the warmth of his scalp.

"I'd marry you," you say.

Steve's eyebrows shoot up.

"What?"

"Like, if you were in a pinch."

He looks at you sideways. You flatten, then scrunch your hands over your knees. Your tongue feels too big for your mouth.

"I'm talking about spending the rest of my life with someone, you know. Not borrowing fifty bucks."

"Fifty bucks is a lot of money for some of us, Harrington."

"That’s probably how much Lisa's wedding dress cost."

"I hope she kept the receipt."

Silence descends. A soft breeze blows through your cracked window. You want to search Steve's glove box for gum, but you've just told him you'd marry him, so you can't do anything except think about the fact that those words came out of your mouth.

"Are you…" Steve begins, then pauses. "Why did you say that?"

"Because you're worried, for some incomprehensible reason, that no one will marry you."

"I scoop ice cream for a living."

You level him with a look.

"Steve. We're kids. Cut yourself some slack."

His eyes turn hollow. They've been doing that lately. You wish you knew why.

"I don't really feel like a kid these days," he says.

Something about the way Steve sounds makes you want to climb over the console and curl into him, cradle his head to your neck. Which is crazy. You guys don't do that. Steve isn't yours to do that with.

"Let's make a pact," you say softly.

He meets your eye. "A pact?"

"Mmhm. Let's say if both of us aren't married by… thirty, then we'll get married."

"Well, I don't want a pity marriage."

You roll your eyes. "It's not a pity marriage, Steve."

"Thirty is so late! You really think I won't be married by then?" he asks.

"No, I don't think that. I already said folks will be lined up to marry you," you say.

"I can't wait till I'm thirty."

"Or you'll turn into an old maid?"

"Meh meh meh," he mocks without any heat.

You purse your lips so you don't smile. "Fine. We'll split the difference. Twenty-four?"

Steve considers that. Really considers it. It suddenly occurs to you what you're promising and who you're promising it to. You wonder if you'll both forget about it. Or brush it off. Oh, what did we know? We were kids!

Except Steve doesn't feel like a kid. And maybe you don't either, as much as you wish you do.

"Do you mean it?" he asks.

"Of course I do."

"No, seriously." He's serious. "I mean it, so if you don't…"

"Steve, I said I mean it. I do."

"You'll marry me?"

"I will."

"Swear on it."

You hold out your right pinkie out, waiting. Steve hooks his finger over yours. Impulsively, you kiss your linked pinkies. To show that you really, truly mean it.

You try to picture it. What walking down the aisle to meet Steve at the altar would feel like. You wonder if he'd keep his hair long, like it is now. You like it long. Would he keep it long for you?

"Will you buy me a ring?" you ask. "If we get married, I mean."

"Of course I'd buy you a ring," Steve says. "I'd get you anything you wanted."

"Okay." Your heart hammers in your chest. "I'm gonna go home."

"Alright. Want me to pull up to the door?"

"No, it's fine. Walking is good for digestion. Those milkshakes were no joke."

Steve smiles. He has such a lovely smile. His Cupid's bow is shaped exactly like a heart.

"Same time tomorrow? It's movie night."

Right. Your movie night. A semi-regular occasion that includes you, Steve, Robin, and the kids, sometimes. You've watched at least a dozen movies this summer together. Only this time, you're watching a movie after promising to marry Steve.

"Sounds good," you say. "Will you pick me up?"

"Always."

Another promise. You hadn't realized how many Steve makes to you.

"'Kay. See you."

You get out. Steve waves as he pulls away from the curb.

Your ring finger feels bare. You rub it, hoping the feeling will go away.

ii. the wound

The plastic chair has turned your legs numb. Your butt is about to follow.

Can butts go numb? You're not sure. You'll find out soon, though.

You rub your eyes. God, you need sleep.

Across the room, you catch Joyce Byers' gaze. She smiles at you, though it's brittle. You try to smile back, feeling distinctly like you might break if you stretch your mouth too far.

She looks away, and your not-smile falls.

"They'll let us in soon," she says, like she knows. She does know. Better than you, certainly.

The hospital smells cold. It smells like a place people go to die.

Your heartbeat ratchets. You shouldn't think like that.

"You don't understand," comes Dustin's voice. He's at the receptionist's desk, flanked by Mike and Lucas. Dustin's face is red and blotchy, near tears.

"I need to see him. You won't let me see Eddie, so—"

The receptionist rears back, like she can't believe three children are daring to speak to her.

"Neither patient is cleared for visitors," she says icily. "Now, for the last time: have a seat."

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Joyce begin to stand, ready to herd the kids away. You beat her to it. Out of everyone in this room, you're probably the only person who has the strength to stand.

"Guys, c'mon. It won't be long."

They don't look at you. You don't take it personally. An hour earlier, you'd cornered Dustin and forced him to tell you what happened. What's been happening.

So he did. And now you're here.

You don't blame them for glaring at the prickly receptionist. But you know that won't do anything. It won't heal Steve quicker. And it won't make anybody feel better.

"Hey, Dustin." You lay a hand on his shoulder. He looks at you like you're not Steve. You wish it was you in surgery instead.

"Come sit," you say.

"I need to see him," he tells you.

"I know." Your throat tightens, threatening to trap your words altogether. You rush to get the rest out. "I do too. But this isn't going to make that happen faster. Come sit with me. Okay?"

"He'll be fine," Mike says quietly. "They don't wanna get sued by his asshole dad."

You nod, because yeah, good point. Quite possibly the first time Richard Harrington has brought anybody comfort. He's in Cancun, last you'd heard. You hope he chokes on a margarita.

Dustin follows you. Mike and Lucas sit next to Joyce. The five of you wait.

At some point, you fall asleep. When you wake up, it's to the contentious receptionist peering over you all.

"Mr. Harrington is awake," she says primly. "You may see him now, young man."

Dustin flies out of the chair, Lucas and Mike at his heels.

A part of you wants to go home, and you feel terrible for it. You feel terrible that Steve almost died, but you're the frightened one. You don't know if you can bear to see him tied to tubes and a heart monitor.

"Go on."

Joyce tracks you sleepily. Her hair is more knotted than before you fell asleep. She nods to the hallway.

"Go see him."

You can’t voice every thought, every fear. I don’t know if I can see him like this.

“It’s good he won’t wake up alone,” she says.

“He’s got a family.” You wave your hand weakly.

Joyce watches you for a moment. Then she gets up.

"Yes, he does."

She holds out her hand.

You don’t know Joyce Byers very well. This is probably the longest conversation you’ve had with her. You realize, then, that you're wrong—you’re not the one who’s strong enough to stand.

“Let’s go see him,” she says. "All of his loved ones should be there."

God, are you really that obvious?

You take her hand, and the two of you go down the hall.

Steve is nearly unrecognizable in the hospital bed. The kids are speaking to him, unusually quiet. They look up when you enter.

Steve’s eyes lock with yours.

“Hey,” is all you say.

“Hi,” he says, voice rough with disuse and getting choked by what Dustin had described as demon bats.

“Boys, come on,” Joyce calls. “Let’s make a cafeteria stop.”

You see Dustin about to protest, but Lucas tugs his arm like he knows, and goddamn, you really are that obvious, aren’t you?

You wait for the door to close behind you. Then you walk to Steve’s side.

The gnarled ring of flesh around his neck makes you queasy. The rest of him isn’t much better, red and purple smeared across any skin that’s not covered by the chalky hospital gown.

You sit in the chair. It’s the same plastic kind as the ones in the waiting room, but this one doesn’t feel so hard.

“Robin called me,” you say.

Steve closes his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you’d better be.” Your voice cracks. “Can’t believe you went dimension-surfing without me.”

“You’re mad at me.”

Your breath is punched out of you.

“No,” you say softly. “My God, Steve. I’m not mad at you.”

His hand creeps to the edge of the bed. His fingers are scraped.

You take his hand and lace your fingers together. He slow-blinks. He’ll probably fall asleep in the next half hour.

“It’s okay if you are,” he whispers. “Mad, I mean. I’d be mad too.”

You know he wouldn’t be, though. You know Steve would forgive you in a heartbeat.

“I’m not mad,” you say, equally as quiet. “I just… I was scared."

He nods. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

You bow your head and close your eyes. When Robin had called, you'd run to the bathroom and coughed up stomach acid.

They say he’ll make it, she'd told you, and you'd realized with violent clarity that you love him.

But Steve doesn't need that right now. So you bury it.

You lean in and bring Steve's knuckles to your lips, taking care not to jostle him.

His eyes widen. Part of you hopes he won’t remember this conversation.

"Don't do that again," you say. “Not without me.”

"Okay,” he whispers. “I won't."

You wait until he falls asleep, hand in his.

iii. the brand

“There’s no way I’m getting in your death van, Munson!” Robin whines.

“Death van is an exaggeration, Buckley. If anything, it’s a life van. I’m still here, aren’t I?” Eddie asks.

“Definitely not because of that heap of metal,” Steve murmurs to you. You snicker.

It’s nearly dark, but a summer dark, where it doesn’t actually turn to night until well after nine PM. The top two buttons of Steve’s dress shirt are undone, and you can’t stop staring. It’s embarrassing, really. You’d nearly missed Eddie’s walk across the stage because of that damned triangle of tanned skin and dark chest hair.

“Why can’t we take the station wagon?” Robin asks.

“I think Nancy already left,” you say. “Sorry, Rob.”

“And I’ve put my car jacking days behind me,” Eddie announces, flinging his arms out. “So my van it shall be!”

Robin whips her head around to glare at Steve.

“This is your fault,” she accuses scathingly.

“Me?!”

“You just had to go and get a flat tire yesterday.”

“Yeah, Steve,” you add cheekily. “Why couldn’t you have foreseen the dreaded timeline where Eddie drives?”

“Et tu?” Eddie asks. “I’m hurt. I’m a great driver, y’know. Better than Steve, some have told me.”

“Dustin only told you that ‘cause you were high on morphine and about to burst into tears,” Robin says.

As they bicker, Steve draws closer, so your arms brush. You close the distance, crowding him.

“Y’okay?” he asks quietly.

“Yes,” you say, startled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just checking.”

“Are you okay?”

He turns to you. He looks like he’s searching for something. You don’t know what.

“Yeah,” Steve says after a minute. “I am. Better than, actually.”

“‘Cause I’m here, right?” you ask with a gooey grin.

“Yeah. ‘Cause you’re here.”

He sounds honest, so you turn away, because you can’t handle that and his chest hair.

"I should get to choose where we go," Robin says as you arrive at Eddie's van. "Since it may be our last trip and all."

"Funny you were in Band and not president of the drama club, Buckley," Eddie says dryly.

"Pot, kettle."

"How 'bout Rita's?" you suggest. "Unlimited refills and no one will hassle Eddie."

"Aw, you care about little ol' me?" Eddie asks.

"If you get us there in one piece, yes."

Eddie huffs. "No wonder you and the Hair are like this." He crosses his fingers.

"Damn right," Steve says. "We even finish each other's—"

"Terribly cliche sayings!" you say.

Robin looks at you for a moment, unusually smirky. Then she looks at Steve.

"You match. Blue dress, blue tie."

"That's so if she gets lost, they know who to return her to," Steve says.

You scoff. "More like the other way around."

He pouts. "Hey."

"Hay is for horses," you sing, skipping ahead to Eddie's van.

"I'm sorry, are you excited to ride in the Hell Van?" Robin asks.

You shrug. "We could use some excitement around here, couldn't we?"

"No!" all three say.

"I've had enough excitement for ten lifetimes," Robin mutters.

Eddie pulls the door open. Your smile quickly drops.

"Uh, Eddie? Where the fuck are the seats?"

"Right, so, usually I only have Gareth and Jeff ride with me. Gareth always calls shotgun—"

"Shotgun!" Robin hollers, and races to the front seat.

You stare at the single backseat chair. There's no way it's big enough for you and Steve.

"Holy shit," Steve says, taking stock of the "backseat."

Eddie rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah… listen, if I'd known we'd be taking her, I would've put the other seat in, swear! Usually we take it out for the equipment."

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Lay down and pray? This is how people get head injuries, Eddie," you say, arms folded.

"Maybe we can call a cab," Steve suggests.

"At this hour?" You shake your head. "No way. This isn't Indianapolis."

"Oh my God." Robin groans. "The solution is so obvious. Sit on Steve's lap. Boom. Now come on, I'm starving."

You tense. Steve is tactile, sure, and you've become acclimated to that over the years.

But this? This is way, way beyond that.

"Uh…" Steve glances at you. "Do you… I mean, if you don't mind?"

You glance at Eddie, who's got the tiniest smirk. You glower and he clears his throat, hiding his mouth behind a lock of hair.

"I don't mind," you say, more confident than you feel. "It's a short drive."

Eddie nods. "Definitely. I'll step on it."

"Please don't step on it," Robin calls. "We're already chancing fate by letting you drive in the first place."

Eddie huffs, walking to the driver's side. "Y'know, Buckley, you are just…"

You look at Steve. He smiles at you, sweet as always.

"This isn't gonna aggravate any injuries, right?" you ask. "Me… sitting on you?"

You wince at the wording.

"No, should be fine. My PT gave me the all clear a month ago."

You nod tightly. "Right. Okay. You go first."

Steve climbs in, planting his feet on the floor. You go next, stooping in front of him. You catch each other's gaze for a moment. Then you laugh, suddenly trying to look anywhere but at Steve.

"Right, so I'll just…"

You slide onto Steve's lap, trying to hold some of your weight so you won't crush him. He splays an easy hand over your belly and leans over to pull the van door shut. Your heart thunders in your chest.

"You can sit back, y'know," he says, breath tickling your ear. "’M not made of glass."

"Didn't want your legs to go numb," you joke weakly.

Steve makes an unhappy noise and tugs you back so you're fully seated on him. You angle yourself so you can look at him. Steve looks up at you, lightly tracing a pattern on your hip. Like you do this all the time.

"Hi," you say, too jittery to crack another joke.

Steve smiles gently. "Hey."

His tone is fond. You feel sick.

"Everybody good?" Eddie asks.

He adjusts the rear view mirror and you watch his eyebrows shoot up in the reflection.

"You two look cozy."

"Shut the fuck up, Munson," you mumble. "Just drive, already."

Eddie giggles like a gremlin in reply and turns the ignition.

It’s not bad, at first. Eddie takes it easy driving through Hawkins. Part of it is because he doesn’t want to attract attention. The other part is that Hopper promised Eddie a night in jail if he caught him running the stop signs again.

You personally think it’s a bluff. Robin does not; she’s enthusiastically annoying about road safety, and points out every single sign and red light. This causes Eddie to start slamming the breaks in retaliation.

“Holy fuck!” you yelp when Eddie hits the breaks particularly hard. “Eddie!”

Steve is quick to tug you backwards, considering you’re not belted. You scramble to grab his shoulders and twist to look at him.

“Thanks,” you say breathlessly.

He smiles, then leans away, glaring at the front.

“Really, Munson?”

“She started it!” Eddie insists. “Blame your BFF!”

“Can you drive like someone who doesn’t have a death wish?” Robin shoots back.

Steve’s hands are now on the small of your back and on your hip, respectively. Your legs hang over the side of the carseat, butt nestled quite firmly on his thighs.

God, you’re never living this down.

“Y’okay?”

Steve’s breath in your ear makes you squirm. You turn to look at him.

“Fine,” you murmur. “I’m not crushing you, am I?”

“No,” he says. “Don’t worry.”

Eddie breaks again, harder than before. You slip.

Steve reacts instantly, his hand grabbing the meat of your thigh. Your dress rides up, so it’s skin on skin.

The momentum is worse, however, because you jerk back. Right into Steve’s face.

Your nose mashes into his, which isn’t great. But then, your lips smush against his cheek. When you pull back, there’s a smeared lipstick print.

Maybe you’re the one with a death wish.

Robin is screeching incoherently but you can't focus on anything but the smudge of pink on Steve's cheek. Your chest feels tight.

He looks like he's yours.

"Yeah, we're fine, " Steve says, voice close enough to startle you back into the conversation.

He looks up at you. Your hand lands on the lipstick, like if you cover it, it'll go away. Steve tilts his head, mouth open in a question.

"Sorry," you rush out before he can speak. "I got some of my, uh, lipstick on you."

He relaxes.

"Oh. Thought I was bleeding or something," he says with a slight laugh. "'S okay, I can wipe it off when we get there."

"Uh-huh."

You drop your hand. You can't stop staring. Stop staring.

The print isn't exactly in the shape of your lips, but it's close. You can see the divots and where your lips parted. If someone were to see you two, they'd assume a lot of things you're not.

Steve's collar is wrinkled from the van ride from Hell. His neck is flushed. You wonder how your lipstick would look there.

Eddie presses the brake, softer this time. Steve's fingers dig into the meat of your thigh anyway. More marks.

"Alright, relax, gang," Eddie says. "We're almost there."

You touch Steve's cheek again and hope he'll forget to wash you off of his face.

iv. the secret

It's raining. You're in Steve's bed.

Thunder shakes the sky. You curl further into your—Steve’s—pillow. It smells like his soap and detergent.

You used to like the rain. Not so much these days. Rain makes you think of blood on asphalt and being alone at twenty-four. Rain silences you.

"Do you think he'll come back?"

You've never dared to ask anyone. Not even Joyce. She'd know. She wouldn't tell you the truth, though.

Nancy Wheeler probably could. She'd face you with that steel brow of hers and give it to you straight.

Yes. The monster's back. You're not getting married.

You slip your hand into Steve’s. He squeezes your fingers. Outside, the rain roars.

"I don't know," Steve says into the darkness.

You can't see him like this. It makes you mildly claustrophobic. Maybe you should turn on the hall light.

"Hopper said he was dead. So did that other guy—uh, Murray. And like, Eddie's okay. And Max. El would tell us if she sensed something. It's not like he could come back without making a sound. I mean, from what she told me, she basically, like, unraveled him from the inside out. Which is pretty gross, but also a good way to keep someone dead."

He's rambling. He's rambling to distract you.

God, what the fuck are you going to do when you're twenty-four and unmarried and Steve's forgotten all about you?

"I don't want anyone to die," you whisper.

Steve squeezes your hand harder.

"No one's gonna die."

You shift closer. You can barely make out Steve's silhouette. The ends of his hair tickle your knuckles.

"Hey," he says, and you try to find his eyes, but you can't. "Nothing's gonna happen, okay?"

"Yeah," you say, even though something did happen, something that almost took him away from you, and you don't know if you can handle that again.

"You can stay here as long as you want," he says.

"I can go back to my room."

Steve threads his fingers with yours. You can't see his eyes but it's okay.

"Don't," he says.

"Okay."

You scoot forward, closing another few inches between you two. Now, you feel Steve's breath on your face. He smells like minty toothpaste. He is alive.

The rain batters against the windows. You could kiss him. You could kiss him right now, and no one would know except for you and him.

His breath has begun to even out. You lean in blindly. Your lips land on his hair.

It's hardly a kiss. It’ll be your secret anyway.

+ and, finally, the first.

"Dustin wanted chocolate milk," you say, not looking up from the tub of yogurt you're searching the date for.

"Yeah," Steve says, parking the cart to the side. "Kid's addicted."

He opens the giant fridge door and a burst of cold air nips at your arm. You shy away.

"Six dollars? Jesus, does it come from gold cows?"

You snort, finally putting the yogurt in the cart. You stay at Steve’s house more often than not these days, so there’s no point in getting a separate cart.

"What?" Steve asks, looking at you.

"You're funny, that's what."

"I am?"

"You sound like somebody's grandpa."

"I do not!"

"Do too," you say sweetly.

"Do not."

"Do too infinity."

Steve rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm a grandpa 'cause I don't wanna spend a leg and an arm on chocolate milk for the little shit? So be it."

"Steve," you begin, eyebrows drawing together. "It's his birthday. Have a heart, old man."

"Oh, good grief," he mumbles, but he takes the carton and puts it into the cart.

You smile. Steve shakes his head.

"This is why I don't go shopping with you. You're an enabler."

"I am," you say happily, walking alongside him as he pushes the cart.

"And you don't push the cart."

You tut. "Pretty girls don't push shopping carts, Steven."

"Oh, they just find some poor sap to push it for them, huh?"

"I'm so glad you're on board," you say, skipping ahead to the chip aisle.

You look through the shelves and land on two types of Doritos. Cool Ranch and Original. It’s a tough decision.

“Steve, what do you think?” You hold up the bags. “Which do they like better?”

“Ranch. According to Mike, liking the original flavors of snacks is lame.”

You snicker and take three bags of the Cool Ranch. Steve pushes the cart to you.

“I feel like we’re shopping for our kid,” you say. “We’re the awesome house everybody wants to visit because we have the best snacks and the biggest pool.”

You look up when Steve doesn’t reply. He stares at you, expression unreadable. Your smile dims.

“What?” you ask.

Steve shakes his head.

“Nothing,” he says quietly. “It’s nothing.”

“Steve, seriously. What is it?”

He shakes his head again.

“Nothing, really. Just zoned out for a second.”

He continues to push the cart down the aisle. You watch him for a moment, then follow. The two of you quickly check off the remaining items on Steve’s list (yes, his actual, physical grocery list), and then you check out.

The cashier smiles at you both in line. She’s an older woman, with the typical poofy blowout nearly every woman over fifty gets at Brenda’s Salon in downtown Hawkins. You busily put the items on the conveyor belt while Steve takes out his wallet and makes conversation with the cashier. It’s a good routine you two have established.

When the cashier’s done, you squeeze past the cart and grab half of the bags. Steve takes the receipt and the rest of the bags.

“You two are very sweet together,” the cashier says, her round cheeks blush-red like apples. “Have a wonderful day.”

“You too, ma’am,” Steve replies, and heads to the exit.

You’re frozen for a moment, startled until Steve calls your name. You heft the bags in your arms and hurry after him.

Steve stops and takes two of your bags before crossing the parking lot.

“Steve,” you say, and huff. “I can carry them.”

“Pretty girls don’t push carts or carry bags. It’s the rule, remember?”

You watch, unimpressed, as Steve then proceeds to try and get his car keys with an armful of grocery bags. When he almost drops a bag for the third time, you sigh and take pity.

“Which pocket?” you ask, snaking your arm around.

“Back left,” he says, smiling sheepishly.

You roll your eyes, feeling disgustingly fond. You shove your hand down Steve’s back jean pocket. He wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Take me out to dinner at least,” he says.

“Pretty boys don’t get taken to dinner until the pretty girl has been asked out properly,” you shoot back.

Steve smiles, but the joke doesn’t land like it usually does. You step away as soon as you get the keys, clearing your throat.

“Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson about carrying all the bags, Popeye.”

You open the trunk for him, then go to open the passenger side door.

“If I don’t carry all the bags, how else am I meant to show off to the ladies?”

You pull the handle on the driver’s side for Steve and he gets in, beaming cheekily at you.

“The only person who’s watching you make a fool of yourself is me, big guy,” you say. “So, mission failed.”

You open the glove compartment and start fishing through for gum. You find a Juicy Fruit packet but it’s empty.

“Damn, that’s what we forgot,” you say, defeatedly crumpling the cardboard. “Gum.”

You start to turn to Steve. “Do you think we—”

You’ve wondered, probably more than you should, about how Steve Harrington kisses.

Now you know: tenderly.

He cups both sides of your face, and you have to brace yourself on the center console for balance. Your other hand tangles in his hair. It’s as soft as you imagined, free of product, and you scrunch the baby hairs at the base of his scalp. Steve makes a quiet noise.

You kiss until you need air. Even then, Steve doesn’t let you go far. You part with only an inch or two between you.

“There’s gum in the middle compartment,” is the first thing he says.

“Huh?”

“In here.” He pats the compartment between the seats. “Hubba Bubba. I got it last week.”

You giggle and grab Steve’s face with both hands. His hands slip to your arms and he squeezes, smiling gently.

“What?” he asks.

“Fuck, I’m glad I know you,” you say.

Steve kisses you again. Two. Steve Harrington has officially kissed you two times.

You hope you’ll lose track at some point.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x yn #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington fluff #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #stranger things #stranger things x you

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gallusrostromegalus · 6 months

Note

Speaking of public health. What was the soul society reaction to the eradication of small pox like?

"You notice there's a lot less dead babies these days?" Iba asked in the middle of one morning's office work.

"Fewer dead babies." Komamura corrected without thinking. "Less is for things you measure by volume, fewer for things you count. We do not measure dead babies by volume."

"Oh. right." Iba nodded. "Yeah, that wouldn't be right."

After a moment, what his lieutenant actually said caught up with him. "Sorry- force of habit from living with a Librarian." Komamura shook his head and looked up from the monthly intake statistics analysis report, peering at Tetsuzaemon Iba through the narrow gap of his helmet. "What do you mean, fewer dead babies?"

"I dunno, it just occurred to me. When I started the academy in the 40's- right after the catastrophe- we did a student tour of the 7th division's recently deceased souls intake queue, remember?" Iba waved his hand leaning back in his chair, apparently uncertain of where he was going with this either, but articulating his thoughts.

"I believe so. I had just taken over from Captain Kotsubaki." Komamura nodded, patient. Chikane Iba was an excellent shinigami and had done a magnificent job running the third division, but she had a tendency to talk over and bulldoze her son, so Komamura had learned to be patient when the young man when he felt like he should share a thought.

"Yeah, yeah- Not gonna lie Boss, you scared the crap out of me back then." Tetsuzaemon laughed. "-But the thing that stuck out to me that day was just. The sheer number of Infants and little kids in the line. the guy giving us the tour- I think it was Old Ito, actually- He said that one in five babies in the living world didn't live to see their fifth birthday."

"An improvement even back then- it was one in three children when back when I started in the 1840s." Komamura nodded. "It's funny that I frightened you- Captain Aikawa apparently headhunted me for the 7th because Kaname told him about how the children at the library used to use me as playground equipment."

"Good grief." Iba blanched. "So, what, he threw you in the deep end with all the dead kids?"

"In Captain Aikawa's defense, I did volunteer to handle children's cases. As sad as a frightened infant is, it's infinitely preferable than dealing with the deceased who are angry."

Iba frowned, opened his mouth like he was about to object, reconsidered, closed it, considered further, rocking his head from side to side, and then nodded. "I- yeah, Yeah, that tracks."

"You were saying though?" Komamura laced his fingers in front of him, leaning forward to listen.

"Oh! Well- not as much these days but back then, every family had like seven and eight kids, you know? And I realized that, well- almost everyone I know has a dead sibling or two? Almost every mother lost a child- Gods know my mother's a basket case but even getting a cold could send her into fits. If something had happened to me when I was a tyke- I don't think she would have pulled through."

Komamura nodded enough for Iba to see his helmet tilt to indicate he as still listening.

"I- I don't actually know where I was going with this, but I was reading that report earlier and there's a note from Shita-san at the end that this is the first month we haven't had a kid under the age of five in the intake queue. Ever."

Komamura flipped though the pages of the report to read the hand-written note at the end. "That is excellent news!"

"Oh! Yeah! It's great!" Iba nodded enthusiastically. "It just- I don't know, I guess it just snuck up on me and I'm so used to hearing something went wrong I guess I don't quite know what to do with good news?" he shrugged.

Komamura pondered this for a moment. "Hm. Well. Take heart, to start. But I see what you mean- it's a tremendous achievement, but not one we contributed to, and a "No Dead Babies This Month" office party feels in poor taste at best."

"Oof, yeah- especially if next month there's an accident or something and there's a whole bunch in the queue." Iba nodded. He considered things for a moment.

"-What happened that there are le- fewer dead babies, actually?" Iba frowned. "-Whoever it is, it would be appropriate to toast them and make an offering in their name to the Gods of Good Fortune, I think. Also do more of whatever they did."

"That IS a good idea!" Komamura smiled under his helmet. Perhaps it was his training as a priest, but he did enjoy an offering of goodwill ceremony. Also, nobody would ask him to drink- just pour any alcohol he was offered on the statue of the relevant deity. "I think- It's probably in our statistics, if the tenth division doesn't have an idea already. Can you collect the cause of death data for young children for the last-"

He was interrupted by the thunderous footsteps of someone sprinting towards the office, immediately followed by a tall young woman with short white hair throwing the door open, red-faced and winded.

"THEY DID IT! THE MAD BASTARDS THEY DID IT!" She shouted with wild excitement.

"Isane-? Uh, Miss Kotetsu?" Iba flustered.

"Please keep your voice down-" Komamura said through gritted teeth, trying not to growl at being suddenly shouted at. "Who has-?"

He was interrupted by Miss Kotetsu bolting right up to his desk and shoving a newspaper into his face hard enough to actually wrap around his helmet in excitement.

"SMALLPOX! IT'S GONE!!" She shrieked with joy.

"-gone?" Iba asked, bewildered as Komamura gently took the newspaper from her and pulled it back to actually read it. It was a newspaper from the living world, dated that morning- someone had gone through some pains to get it back to the Seireitei at speed, but the news was worth it:

SMALLPOX IS DEAD!

"TOTALLY ERADICATED! EXTINCT! KAPUT! IT HAS CEASED TO BE!" She bounced excitedly. "IT IS AN EX-PANDEMIC!"

"So like. Nobody has it this year?" Iba tried.

"Nobody has it this year, or will ever have it again, if I'm reading this right." Komamura muttered in awe. "Thanks to an aggressive worldwide vaccination and disease protocol program, there have been no human cases of the disease for several years. Since there are no people infected, there is no way for the disease to come back..."

Both men stared into space, the news almost unbelievable.

"Well. That does explain the Less Dead Babies thing." Iba nodded.

"Fewer Dead Babies." Komamura and Isane corrected in unison.

"I mean yeah that sure is part of it because Smallpox was the number one killer of infants in the living world for a long time there, but there's a whole bunch of stuff that's really cut down on infant mortality in the last few decades in particular." Isane nodded.

"We were JUST Talking about that!" Iba said, excitedly. "-Good to know you guys in the fourth are keeping track of that, It was gonna take forever to pull out that data..."

"Oh, could you pull it out anyway Tetsu-kun?" She asked. "-That's most of why I came over- I mean, to share the good news first, but Unohana-Taicho is planning on using this to really push a widespread vaccination program in the Rukongai and having the numbers to back us up would be really helpful!"

"Oh! Uh, sure!" Iba blushed.

"...You know this young lady, Tetsu-Kun?" Komamura lightly teased.

Both of the young people twitched and bowed to him, pointing at each other and speaking at once.

"Oh! I'm sorry Sir, I'm fourth division third seat Isane Kotetsu, i just know Iba because we were in the same class at the academy-" She babbled.

"-this is Isane Kotetsu, she's the smartest person I know and she saved my life from a lizard one time!" He waved excitedly.

"...That lizard was not going to kill you." She sighed, covering her face in embarrassment. "-I mean, if you developed a sepsis infection from the contaminated wound it might have made you very ill but that would take weeks and we have antibiotics for that, the lizard itself wasn't all that dangerous."

"It was INSIDE my LEG!" Iba gestured to his right thigh.

Komamura slowly tilted his whole torso sideways at Iba, hoping that sentence might make more sense at a forty-five degree angle. "...How?"

"I. Uh." Iba stopped, realizing his story was maybe not one he should be telling his boss. "I was. um. Out camping with the lads back when I was in the 11th, and a lizard climbed into my cot and I was. not totally awake and thought someone was trying to cop a feel and well you know, that's behavior you respond to with force so I rolled over and tried to stab the intruder's hand and. Uh. Missed."

Komamura continued to stare at him blankly.

"There was. screaming. lotta flailing, blood, general mayhem sort of thing. And in the confusion the Lizard.... climbed. inside the hole. In my leg. Sir." Iba explained, slowly crumpling behind his desk.

Komamura sighed deeply.

"-but Miss Isane was right there and actually kicked Ikkaku halfway across the camp because he was trying to lure it out with a Banana and generally being useless and she just grabbed that sucker and ripped him right outta there and had the wound packed and sealed in less than a minute and I even got to finish doing boot camp!" He rallied, cheerfully waving at Isane in hopes of distracting his captain with how cool she was.

"...What happened to the lizard?" Komamura asked, warily eyeing her through the gap in his helmet.

"Oh! He was really, really human acclimated and sneaked into my medkit rather than go back into the wild, so Harry lives a very spoiled lizard life in a terrarium in my room at home! Though it's actually my sister's room now but he still gets all the mango and smashed beetles he can eat!" Isane nodded cheerfully.

"You named a lizard. Harry?" Komamura asked slowly.

"...Iba-san named him, actually." She blushed.

"Ironically!" Iba protested. "I'm only mostly stupid, sir."

Komamura sighed deeply and once again regretted that his disguise would not let him rub his face as needed. "Alright. Thank you for the announcement, Miss Kotetsu. We will get that data to you in a timely manner- was there anything else you needed"

"Oh gosh, there was something else, what was it-?" She tapped her chin, trying to remember.

There was the distant sound of explosives, and all three of them turned to see what looked like midday fireworks going off at the 4th.

"Oh Right! Unohana-taicho requests your presence at the 4th as. Um. 'Designated Non-Drinker and Unarmed Combat Specialist' because the party was getting kind of wild when I left actually-"

Komamura sighed, and picked up Tenken from his stand and started tying the zanpaktou to his belt anyway.

---

The following morning, a small party arrived at the local shrines to The Gods Of Good Fortune, bearing offerings on behalf of the living world's World Health Organization and the handful of names they'd been able to glean from the living world newspapers, and nursing varying degrees of of hangover.

Komamura lead the party, having gotten them up at a slightly malicious 5AM to be there first thing in the morning. Tetsuzaemon and his friends from the 11th he insisted come along and 'suffer with me, as my sworn brothers' were quite pained but doing their best to hold it together.

Shunsui was a veteran of this nonsense and was hiding the pain very well behind his longtime party companions, Ukitake and Unohana, who seemed so extraordinarily cheerful that Komamura had to conclude that they were both still significantly chemically altered. He couldn't fault Unohana- they were faint and only visible on the rare occasions she let her hair down, but just below her left ear there was still the faint divot scars from surviving her own infection.

Isane had celebrated just as hard as the 11th Division lads, but had also had the good sense to alternate beer and water and take both aspirin and some sort of horrible pink goop that apparently relieved nausea before passing out under a table and had woken up only slightly groggy.

Komamura's new friend Harry the Lizard- a remarkably loquacious and quick-witted reptile -had taken up residence inside his helmet, lightly intoxicated on the cocktail fruits people had kept feeding him, and was politely nestled in the thick fur of his neck to ward off the morning cold.

The rituals of gratitude for this miracle, and asking the Gods to bless those who had worked so hard went smoothly, and Komamura couldn't help but notice when he turned around that Miss Kotetsu had opted to lean on the shoulder of 'Tetsu-kun'.

It was not often Komamura started the day with the feeling that everything would turn out alright, but as he watched Tetsuzaemon cautiously but gracelessly take Isane's hand and her squeeze it back on the way back down from the shrine, he felt like the feeling might stay this time.

#AEIWAM #an elephant is warm and mushy #bleach fanfiction #bleach #sajin komamura #tetsuzaemon iba #isane kotetsu #long post #infant death mention #disease mention #injury mention #it's funny I promise

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heartfullofleeches · 3 months

Note

*slowly opens your closet door and hands you the rest of the chips I was eating in there*

What if. Reader kissed King's scars or traced over them n asked if shed tell them how she got em? I think scars are neat and I dunno about you but personally I'd love to know how she got em. Hope your day is well!

Not a scratch on her.

You distinctly remember the claws of your attacker digging into the exposed meat of the knight's bicep her armor failed to shield yet here there is no mark to prove it. The two of you sat in King's dressing room following the incident, and all the time it took you begging to pull her off them. You thought you'd be fine on your own for a little while without her - clearly word hasn't gotten around the casino that you belong to her just yet. After she checked you over and made sure you weren't hurt it was only fair of you to do the same, but once you scrubbed all that blood off her there really wasn't much else for you to take care of.

"Hm......"

King lifts her head from the pile of pillows you both lay on, dismayed by absence of your hands on her. "Everything okay over there? Seems like you got something on your mind."

"Just thinking.... You've got so many scars, but that other demon didn't even put a scratch on you ... Kinda curious why.."

"Oh, that? That was nothing.-" King sits up, pounding a fist against her chest as she rises. "Takes a lot more than a coward like that to put a dent on this body. Hell, my skin's thicker than the steel I throw on. The stories behind every single one of 'em could the tale of centuries."

"Really?.... Then do you think you could tell me how you got your scars? I actually think they're pretty neat, but I didn't know the right time to ask you about them."

The mountain of pillows crumbles under the heavy swish of King's tail. "Yea....course... we'd be here all week if I told you how I got them all, but I can start off with some of my favorites for now."

King removes her chestplate - gesturing for you to climb in her lap as she regroups the pillows beneath her. She leans back down as she takes your smaller hands in hers, placing them on her abdomen. It was almost impossible to tell where her skin began and the old wounds ended. She guides your fingers to a crescent shaped hole just below her left pec - right over her ribs.

"Feel that? Got that one during the first tournament I feared I might lose. Underestimated the little bastard due to their size - barely came up to my knee in this form, the fucker. Unfortunately for them, they got a little too confident and all it took for me to wipe the floor with that small fry was catching them once.

"Amazing...." Your trace your fingers over the scar, dipping your head until in range to place a soft kiss on her hardened skin. King flinches - tail threatening to foundation of the pillows again as it shoots up with her.

"Wha- Huh?!- The fuck was that?"

"Sorry... Was that not okay? I guess I should've asked before I did that."

King's used to people asking about her scars. She may have been asked to be been kissed once or twice, but that was often by drunken fans - not the little treasure she picked out for herself. You are aware she could snap you in half at any second? You most definitely did, and that she'd never put you in serious danger. Still, you being so careless around a beast like her has got feeling a rush that's incomparable to the surge she feels in battle.

"Nah...." King shifts her tail benath her legs to hide the excitement it gave away. "A warning might've been nice - but your boldness makes it kinda hot. I knew I picked the perfect person to call mine.... Let's move on."

King nudges your fingers further north over her heart to anotger oddly shaped scar over her heart. With three points it almost look like a crudely embroidered crown. "This one. Welcoming gift from the boss themselves. Should'a known not to underestimate that other demon after dealing with them, but they're such an airhead it's easy to forget they can take care of themselves just fine."

Again - you kiss the blemish, the dragon's heart hammering loudly in her chest you can feel its rumble from your lips. There's other's she'd like to show you, but it you're so willing to kiss all her marks....

"Hey, got another one I think you might like."

King lifts her helmet over her jaw - shadows pealing away to unveil the wide, branching scar starting from her lower lip to benath her chin. She grins to show off the extent of the injury, the skin of her lips splitting to reveal more of her gums the further her smile creeps up the side of her face.

"This one? First and only time an angel tried to mess with our staff. Something about some demon winning the soul of someone they were watching over in a gang of cards. Made a huge fuss, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. Scar I'm most proudest of."

You ghost your fingers along her jaw, smiling as she slides her large hand down your back. "Uh-huh.... Something tells me there's another reason you wanted to show me this one in particular..."

"Don't get too full of yourself... Heh, who am I kidding." Tossing her mask aside, King pulls you for a kiss - a loud, yet oddly polite banging on the door interrupting the happy moment.

"Ms.King? We are all very glad you have found someone you are willing to protect at any cause, but some guests have raised concerns about your displays of victory. Please stop stringing your prey up over the pool. This is the third time we've had to close it this month."

#King my oc #yandere #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere scenarios #yandere insert #yandere headcanons #yandere oc #yandere blurb #female yandere #yandere fluff

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nnnyxie · 4 months

Text

a what santa?

we all know he has never had a normal childhood. so why not bring him to the mall for a taste of it? (todoroki shoto)

warnings; none

sfw, gender neutral

“so, what christmas traditions did you guys have as kids?” uraraka asked. everyone sat around in a circle with snacks in the middle, christmas music played in the background as well.

“my mom used to take me and kacchan to see zoo lights when we were small! he loved the lions!” izuku exclaimed, making bakugo grumble in slight embarrassment. “oh how lovely! my family and i went to balls! they were always beautiful and luxurious!” yaomomo said fondly— everyone had mixed reactions. they always forgot how rich she was.

“what about you?” uraraka asked you, she noticed you’d been quiet most of the night— not really talking with unless you were specifically spoken to. “oh— well… we used to go see mall santas. i’d wait forever in those lines…” you smiled a little, recalling how you and your older sister would jump up and down in the line— excited to see ‘santa’. “a… mall santa…?” todoroki cocked his head to the side, he looked both disturbed and confused.

everyone looked at him— shocked that he didn’t know what a ‘mall santa’ was. i mean— even your other ‘rich’ classmates knew. hell— even tokoyami knew! and you were sure he grew up with stories of krampus rather than santa. “roki how— how do you not know what a mall santa is?” sero’s voice held a tone of pity. “well… i hadn’t gone to a mall until i started UA… so…” todoroki suddenly felt embarrassed, and he shrinked into himself.

—

“hey, shoto?” you tapped his shoulder. “hm? oh, hi.” “i’m sorry if i embarrassed you last night at the hang out,” todoroki gave you a look of confusion— you hadn’t embarrassed him at all. if anything, he felt as if he embarrassed himself. “you didn’t— so don’t apologize. i did that to myself…” he looked at the ground with red ears. “well uhm… would you like to… maybe… see a mall santa…?” you nervously asked, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“wh— really?” he looked up, his eyes were wide with excitement. “yeah… uhm— the mall’s santa actually opened up a bit ago, so— i thought that maybe… we could go and you could experience it… since you weren’t able to as a kid.” todoroki gave a small smile, “that’d be nice.”

—

“you ready?” you asked todoroki as he walked into the common area. he gave a nod as he adjusted the collar of his shirt.

the mall was surprisingly tame— considering it was a sunday afternoon. the only busy place was the small ‘santa’s work shop’ area— kids were lined up with their parents, some danced in excitement.

“so… what exactly do we do?” todoroki fiddled with the hem of his shirt, he was very clearly nervous— all because of a mall santa. it was kinda cute, to be honest!!

“well, we wait in line. once we get up there, we can take a picture or two and then some kids tell him what gifts they want.” todoroki nodded, he found the idea of it all to be amusing. “i thought lots of children wanted to see him. why aren’t there a lot?” “hm… i think it’s cause it’s sunday. i dunno… it’s the last relaxing day before some parents jobs’ so they probably just wanna stay home.” he nodded again, this time confused at the thought of someone having a ‘relaxing day’.

again, he’s never had a ‘normal’ childhood. his dad never really took off ‘relaxing days’. the only time he was ever off was when he’d train shoto.

the line grew shorter and then you both were next in line. you’d gotten odd looks from parents, children, and even workers.

“ah merry christmas… kids…” the santa said awkwardly, and he gave his best smile. “hello, it’s nice to meet you. this is my first time.” todoroki spoke, he was always honest. “oh my! well son, what would you like for christmas?” the man did his best santa voice, now feeling bad for todoroki. “uhm… a cat would be nice,” the santa laughed— as well as you. “we can try our best! do you have a second option?” todoroki looked over to you. “uh…” he leaned in and whispered to santa— who had a wide grin on his face. “i’m sure you could do that yourself, kid.”

after taking pictures with the santa, you both decided to grab hot chocolate from one of the mall drink stalls. “soo what was the second thing you asked?” you ‘hated’ that he whispered it— only because you’re a nosy person. “well… i asked if he could help with a date.” you gasped, very surprised at todoroki. “what!? with who!?” he blushed— and his eyes kept switching from yours to the floor. “you…” his left side flared a bit— you could see small sparks of fire coming from his finger tips and cheek. “let’s make this a date then,” you gave him a smile— which made the entirety of the left side of his face flare. “i would enjoy that.”

—

when you both came back to the dorms, it was late— only because, after the mall he took you out to dinner. which you offered to pay for but, he took your wallet away before you could.

“i had a very nice time, shoto.”

“i did as well.”

you both stood there for a few seconds— not knowing what else to say.

but then, you quickly pecked his cheek.

“goodnight!” you yelled— running to the staircases and to your room.

sorry i posted so late!! i’ve been super busy today!!

better late than never tho!!

be sure to follow along lynx’s christmas event!!

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #ᓚᘏᗢ events ᗢᘏᓗ #/ᐠ - ˕ -マ works — ♡︎

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ghxstlike · 6 months

Text

i love loving you

leon kennedy x reader content/warnings: petnames (baby), leon being awkward, leon antics, awkward flirting, teasing, cigarette mention, leon’s music taste, anxiety mention, nightmare mention. authors note: i am down bad for this man. he is rotting my brain and i am very okay with it. these are personal headcanons :)

leon's smile always starts out as a smirk. it's very cute.

always has a hand on you. around your shoulders, holding your hand, lightly gripping your thigh. he wants other people to know that you're taken- you're his.

he is a slightly possessive and jealous man. if someone is flirting with you, his eyes are narrowed at the person who is way too close to you, and his leg is bouncing with anxiety.

sooner or later, he saunters over to the two of you and wraps an arm around your shoulders.

"hey, baby," he whispers in your ear, but it was loud enough for the person in front of you to hear. you shiver, slightly leaning into leon's embrace.

when you first met leon, you were immediately attracted to him. so, of course, you started to flirt with him.

though, he isn't dumb. he knew you were flirting with him (he was flirting back, after all). he teased you for it, obviously.

"are you flirting with me?" he says with a smirk. leon leaned down to get closer to your face, tilting his head.

people say that leon is a flirting machine and is good with women. no he is not.

i mean, yes, he does flirt a lot, but he is not good with women at all.

you found it very charming and cute when he asked you out. a huge smile was plastered on your face, staring at the nervous man in front of you.

“i- hm, i was just- fuck. i was wondering if you, i dunno,” he clears his throat. his face is slightly pink, but he thinks that his face is a deep red by how hot his body feels. “do you want to go get dinner with me sometime?” he manages to get out. he sighs out of relief- he did it. he feels a drop of sweat roll down his temple onto his cheek, shoving his clammy hands into his jean pockets.

of course, you said yes. i mean, who wouldn’t?

y’all aren’t gonna like this, but he definitely smokes cigarettes.

i mean c’mon, he was born in 1977. though, he didn’t willingly start smoking. his friends in high-school peer pressured him.

he tried to stop smoking before his first day at rpd, but it failed miserably. he felt antsy and he was more on edge- angry. he hated that he got easily frustrated with people. he’ll try again someday.

he smells like cigarette smoke and leather. occasionally he smells like coconut & patchouli (his cologne).

always has a stress toy with him. i like to think he wears a fidget ring on his middle finger or thumb. playing with a stress ball or twirling a pen makes him more focused and calm.

bites the inside of his cheek when he’s deep in thought. he doesn’t even notice that he’s doing it, it just happens.

his music taste is decent!

he doesn’t listen to the radio, thinks 2010 music is trash and it’s annoying.

it’s mostly a combination between 90s alt & grunge and early 2000’s rock. his favorite band is radiohead.

always gives eye contact. never looks away when you're talking, especially when you're talking about your long day at work or something you're passionate about.

as we all may know, he's bad at communicating his feelings. you can tell he's getting better with it, but it's still a challenge for him.

he never talks about raccoon city. you only found out about this from overhearing a conversation he had with claire. you brought it up one time, but he fell silent and never looked up at you. ever since then, you never talked about it with him.

mans suffers with frequent nightmares, so obviously he never sleeps. when he's with you though, he doesn't have any nightmares. so, he stays up until you're ready for bed.

when you're out late, he's waiting for you in bed.

leon loves to get his hair played with. he loves the feeling of your nails lightly scratching his scalp.

if you take meds, he always reminds you to take them. he also watches you take them, just in case.

leon always wants the best for you. he just loves you, so so much.

#leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you #x reader #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #resident evil

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rayshippouuchiha · 5 months

Note

Thank you! So here I am to infodump, full of gratitude, and you can post this if you want no problem it's just a bunch of scattered ideas so yeah. Feel free to chuck suggestions at me too! I really don't know what to do with these... building blocks just yet.

Akatani Mikumo is Midoriya Hisashi.

Toshinori gets sandwiches by the Midoriya couple and it turns into an OT3 but that's much later down the line.

Hisashi is a journalist, keeps getting into everybody's business and Knows™ more than he frankly should.

Hisashi is a Cryptid™. But of a different energy from his son who is all lightning-in-a-bottle jittery On The Verge Of Throwing Hands feral sort of cryptid, Hisashi is mostly of this... supernaturally unflappable blank-faced chill entity.

Who keeps spooking people bc No Footstep sounds.

And might possibly be partially mute or just ridiculously soft-spoken bc when he tries to speak at normal volumehis fire-breathing quirk goes ballistic.

Might or might not have bloodline relations to AFO. Origins ambiguous, Inko just literally plucked the (then) teen off a back alley like he was a stray cat.

Also might or might not have more than one quirk, see the probable AFO connection.

Izuku got his mumbling thing from Hisashi.

A cryptid man who seems normal enough except a little off-kilter, like two inches to the left of what's a “normal” man? Weirdo but nobody can pinpoint how or why. That's the sort of vibe I want with this Hisashi.

And some Wack™ backstory lore I came up w for Hisashi, I dunno what I'll do w it but:

Cw: mention of infant murder, bc I'm Me™ and I was thinking about Yotsumegami (it's my favorite game) and how my version of Hisashi would tie in with it.

Yanno how in Yotsumegami “unwanted children” (children with disabilities, the younger of a twin pair or every sibling except the eldest in triplets or higher, etc) would be killed (it's a real historical practice in Japan, mabiki, they called it) or something like that? Would be kinda fun if an offshoot of that variety existed in the BnHA world, even if it's not outright child murder kids would be abandoned, especially in the chaos of the Dawn of Quirks. People who were scared of quirked people would abandon their quirked child, quirkist folk abandoned their quirkless children, it's chaos.

It would be more prominent during the initial chaos, though I guess laws and stuff would've been passed later on to prevent it or at least cut down the numbers— and the practice fizzled out but there's still a few remote rural villages who accept “unwanted” children.

One such secret community could be like, giving the surname “Akatani” (red valley, for the red of spider lilies used in mabiki in times past) to the children that were discarded at their metaphorical door. Do they still practice mabiki? Debatable. But it's like a giant secret orphanage with questionable, cult-like mentalities.

Akatani Hisashi was one of those until he miraculously escaped and tried to survive in the outside world.

Or maybe he didn't have the Akatani surname at first bc nobody in the remote village had any surname but once he got out he might've created the surname as a way to hm, not quite honor but carry his origins into his new life.

(maybe Yoichi was almost mabiki'd too, like I said I'm still not entirely sure where I'm going with this)

So Izuku gets to grow up w two parents who care a great deal for him. Maybe they move away, resulting in Izuku not having to deal w Bakugou in his childhood. Maybe Izuku makes friends with some other future 1-A classmate.

The Commission keeps trying to track down this one rogue “vigilante reporter” whose name is unknown. And they keep failing because Hisashi (along with his son and excessive gaggle of... comrades? followers? does the Midoriya family accidentally create an organization of rabid info gatherers?) is a certified cryptid.

Izuku has his hands in so many pots. He's a lot more nosey than in canon probably?

Endeavor had better be prepared bc his entire way of life is about to go up in smoke

I don't know why but I just have this very strong feeling that Stain doesn't like Hisashi for one reason or another.

I... wouldn't be entirely opposed to the AU just chucking Bakugou out the window so that he's not in 1-A (or in UA at all, fuck that pomeranian) and instead is replaced by another loud blond...

Fucking Monoma, LMAO.

A lot of the AU is just ?????? for now and most of it is Hisashi backstory but hnnnnng I want to do something with these jigsaw pieces I just don't know what

Also I'll be sending in Hisashi's design in a non-anon ask but could you append it to this ask's answer instead? Thanks!

I adore everything about this!?!?!

Also I didn't get another ask, anon or not, so Tumblr might have eaten it

#RayRambles #BnHA #MHA

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ghulehunknown · 4 months

Text

Mountain x AFAB Reader

NSFW — MDNI

Summary: You and Mountain take a break from your duties to have a little fun in his room.

CW/Tags: sex toy use, tail fucking, masturbation, unprotected sex (P in V and anal), double penetration

Word Count: 2.4K

“You bought how many toys, Mounty?”

“Um, just a few.”

“It looks like a lot.”

“Yes, well - Santa came early.” You stared blankly at him as he shrugged. “I didn’t know what to get so I just got the ones that I dunno, looked the best and had good reviews?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Well I guess you get to choose which one you want.”

“Ah, okay. Well this one here also goes up my ass. Which might be kinda nice. Um okay, these two vibrate, but one has a remote…” He flicked his eyes up to yours. “Uhh. And one of those extends down to my taint, I think? Oh, that’s the one Copia suggested. But it should feel nice for you too, you know, if we - yeah. This one is just a silicone dildo. Oh, and this one goes over my balls.”

“The vibrating ones sound nice,” you said, nodding.

“I can’t choose. What if I just…I dunno, use them all?”

“All of them?” you asked incredulously. “Think you can handle that?”

“I guess it’s time for me to be a ho ho ho,” he remarked with a small smile. You couldn’t help but laugh at his silly joke. He never failed to put a smile on your face. You supposed that was why he was your favorite.

You looked back on the events from the days prior that led you into his bedroom for this very exchange. You were making Secret Satan cards for the children’s hospital in the library, making out with each other in between cards, desperately trying not to make any noise while the other Siblings were working or studying - and failing, miserably. He caressed your body with his tail, completely taking you by surprise.

You had made a one-off comment, without even thinking. “Damn, you fuck with that thing too?”

“Yeah actually I do,” he replied, his face stoic but eyes twinkling.

“Hm, I’d like to see that,” you said - again, what were you thinking? This was insane. Plus, he was one of Cardinal Copia’s head ghouls…you really couldn’t afford to distract him. But the holidays were here, which meant the band was getting a lengthy and much needed break. So maybe this was your chance at giving into your desires.

You finished up the cards, stacking them neatly in a pile. You were supposed to be helping the Siblings decorate and Mountain was supposed to meet the other ghouls in the mess hall before Mass. But…you had more important matters to attend to. You had agreed, since this would be your first time with a ghoul and adding a tail in the mix, that he should try a new experience too.

You walked together down the hallway towards the Ghoul dormitories, arms linked as you people watched. There were multiple Siblings hanging up garlands and lights along the corridors and you even spotted Papa Terzo terrorizing some young Sisters of Sin.

“Jingle Balls, suck my balls, make my chimney rise. Oh what fun it is to cum on my amore’s thighs,” he sang, draping tinsel around one’s neck and dangling some mistletoe in another’s face.

“…and I heard Satan’s hells bells on the rooftop, I swear it, I did!” you heard Nihil say to Imperator who merely said “Of course, Papa,” as she led him down the hall towards the chapel.

Finally, you made your way past the hustle and bustle of the busy Ministry hallways to the Ghoul dorms. As one of the top Clergy member’s head ghouls, Mountain actually had his own room. But he shared a wall with Swiss and Dew on either side, who would tease him relentlessly if they heard any goings on in the night.

So you opted for the middle of the evening, when everyone was likely to be at Mass. And here you were, your very first dick appointment with a ghoul.

You both kneeled in front of each other in his bed, and leaned into kiss one another, his arms holding onto yours and his tail wrapping around your thigh.

Fuck, maybe being with a ghoul would be better…it was almost like being held by three hands.

The tail was surprisingly soft, not sharp at the end even though the arrowhead tip looked pointy. It approached you just as softly as Mountain wanted, and you knew he could be just as rough as he wanted to be too.

You ran your hands through his hair, his short dark locks tickling your fingertips. His kiss was passionate, deep. His lips were soft and inviting.

He gingerly moved his tail up your legs, in between them, and slowly slipped the tip between your labia. You inhaled sharply as the fleshy bit met your sensitive bud, pressing on it almost like a button.

“Fuck!” you exclaimed.

He paused, pulling his tail sway slightly. “You okay?” he said, holding your face in his hands.

“Yeah, I - yeah, no - god, it’s just so…fuck, it feels amazing. Please, do it again.”

“My pleasure.” He re-entered, maneuvering around your folds and finding your slick pooled near your entrance. He poked around, gathering your arousal and sliding it around, back up to your clit and focusing there. “You’re so wet already. Good girl,” he purred. His cock twitched against your leg, bobbing up and down as he slowly grinded against you.

“Should we put a cock ring on you?” you whispered breathlessly, smiling as you nodded towards the bedside table.

Carefully, you helped him put the vibrating ring on. He spread lube on it and his whole member while you warmed some up in your hands and spread it along his perineum.

“Mmm,” he moaned quietly at your touch, closing his eyes.

You clicked the toy to its lowest vibration setting.

“Oh, god! Shit, they weren’t kidding! Ahhh. This is, oh fuck, wow!” His hand flew to his cock, which was bobbing up and down involuntarily.

“And that’s just the first setting. I’m guessing the other toys are a no-go?” you asked, hovering over him still, straddling his thigh.

He let out a sound that didn’t sound too convincing. “Yeeeeah…? Um, this is fine. Actually -” He clicked the vibrator off and handed you the remote for it. “When it looks like I need it.”

“I’ll tease you with it,” you said, trailing your hand along his balls and up his shaft.

“You better not,” he said, biting at your nose and missing as you pulled your head back in time. “All right. First time getting tail fucked. Ready?”

You rolled your eyes and pretended to punch him in the chest. “Yes, I’m ready.” How much different could it be, really? “I’m more concerned for you. You’ve never used a cock ring before, let alone a vibe,” you said, widening your eyes.

“We’ll be okay,” he said. Something in the soothing way he spoke, ugh you could just melt into him.

He leaned back against the headboard, his arm bent behind his head to prop himself up. “Ahhh,” he uttered, hissing, guiding his hand over yours stroking his cock. “Sssoo good.”

He looked you in the eyes as he touched himself, bringing his tail in between your legs again, pushing past your folds this time and going straight for your wet core.

You leaned back, propping yourself up with your hands behind you, moaning as he entered you, tossing your head back as your neck went slack. You straddled his waist, almost like you were scissoring.

You watched his tail slide in and out of you repeatedly, moving in a wave-like pattern with a dexterity that a finger or a cock couldn’t provide.

Your body relaxed and you slid onto your back, staring at the ceiling. Finally, the tip of his tail found your g-spot, and as you shuddered against his legs and let out a guttural sound you didn’t even know you could make, he made an “ah-ha!” sound and you could feel him add more pressure to your spot. All the muscles in his tail flexed, going tap tap tap along your walls. You clenched around him.

“Fuck, you’re so responsive,” he said, letting out an amused chuckle. “You’re fun.”

You shook yourself out of a trance-like state, almost entirely forgetting he was there. You forgot he was watching you like you were his own little porno, touching himself to the vision of you before him.

You leaned against his leg, resting your head by his knee. You lazily tickled along his thighs, in between his legs, caressing him, and looking into his eyes as you kissed his inner thigh. You shifted more on your back, arching it, resting one leg on his shoulder so his tail could go deeper inside you. He held onto your ankle by his shoulder, kissing it.

His tail flicked in and out of you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. He slipped out of you and up to your clit, massaging it with the tip.

“Oh fuck!” you exclaimed. He tapped it against you in rapid succession - taptaptaptaptaptap - fucking hell! It had to be the musician in him, the quick and agile reflexes. He rubbed the upper part of his tail against your length, before flicking the arrowhead against your clit repeatedly. “Mounty, I’m going to cum! Fuck!!”

He held onto your leg, caressing it, while stroking himself with his other hand. He picked one motion and stuck with it - a firm, but gentle massage on your clit with his tailtip.

Your whole body quivered, your orgasm spilling over. You moaned and clutched onto his leg, biting into his skin to muffle the utterly pathetic moans you know would be coming out of your mouth.

“Ow, shit!” he exclaimed but you could barely hear him.

You bucked your hips against his tail to ride out the last smaller waves of your climax, before settling down again. He retracted his tail from between your legs, and you were left staring at the ceiling for a moment before hearing your name being called over and over again.

“Mmm?” you muttered. “Oh, sorry for biting you.”

He laughed. “It’s okay. I’m just glad you were enjoying yourself.”

You nodded feebly, feeling a little pathetic, but utterly blissed out.

“Think you have one more round in you?”

“Mmm,” you mumbled, not even giving an answer.

He patted the mattress beside him. “C’mere.” He pulled you back up to your knees, which were trembling, between his legs. He held your chin in his hand and whispered, “You wanna know what it’s really like to get fucked?” You nodded in his palm. “Good girl.”

You straddled his waist, hovering over his still erect cock.

“Did you want to use protection?” he asked, leaning over to his drawer to reach inside for some condoms. You shook your head. “You sure?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. Please Mountain, please just fuck me.”

He handed you the ring vibrator remote, but spoke before fully relinquishing it to you. “You hold great power in your hands. Use it well.”

Fucking nerd. You laughed at his corny ass joke and nodded, saying, “Yes sir,” in a fake serious voice.

He leaned over for the lube bottle and spread some all over his hands, covering his tail with it then circling your asshole, getting it nice and wet. You draped your arms over his shoulders as he took your waist in his hands, guiding you over his cock, lining it up with your entrance, then sinking you down onto his lap.

Fuck, he felt so good. It was incredible. And very different from the tail. His cock was firmer, building a different kind of pressure but every bit as pleasurable. You both moaned as you sank slowly on him. You moved your hips up and down, already so tired from before, and starting to falter.

His tail wrapped around your ass before teasing and prodding around it, finally slipping in. The feeling, while out of this world, was incredibly overwhelming. You fell down on his cock with zero grace, shuddering and breathing loudly, moaning every few breaths.

“Mmm!” he groaned, grimacing. He said your name through gritted teeth.

“Oh fuck I’m sorry,” you said.

“It’s okay, it takes a lot more than your beautiful ass to hurt me,” he said with a smile, kissing your lips sweetly while giving your rear a smack. “Mm? Everything okay?”

“I can’t, Mounty, I’m sorry. I can’t do it.”

With zero hesitation, he removed his tail from your rear end and started to pull himself out of your entrance.

“No, no, fuck, please that feels so good. I just can’t, my legs are fucking jello. I need you to fuck me.”

“I can do that,” he said warmly. He picked you up, his strong hands grasping your waist as he slammed you up and down on his cock. He pummeled into you from below. “Just relax, I got this.”

“Ahhh, fuck!” you wailed, his tail entering your ass once more, this time without teasing the invitation but instead thrusting in with more force. You let your body slack against his, letting him do all the work.

“Remember your very important job?” he said, eyeing the remote that fell out of your hand.

You nodded, tears in your eyes from the intense sensations ripping through your body. You clicked the button, feeling the buzz of the ring on his cock rub against your clit everytime you fell back down on him. You bared down, grinding against the ring and rubbing yourself along his pubic bone. You clicked the next button, heightening the sensation for you both.

“Oh god - I’m not gonna last,” he grunted. “I’m going to cum. Is it okay if I finish inside you?”

You nodded. “Yes,” you said breathlessly.

“You sure? Last chance before I blow.”

“Stop being so polite and just fucking cum inside me!” you shouted.

“Christ, okay!” He groaned as he continued to fuck into you, jerking his hips forward as he shot warm semen inside you, spilling out. He stopped, still holding onto you, burying his face in your chest, breathing heavily. You sat on his cock, the buzz of the cock ring now sitting against your clit. From that and his tail still prodding away at your ass, you came again just a few seconds after him.

“See,” you began, breathing hard and climbing up to him. “When you asked if I wanted to know what it’s really like to get fucked, I swear I thought you were going to use your drumsticks.”

“The thought crossed my mind. So how was it? Any different? Just as good…better?”

“Yeah…like a really wiggly dick,” you answered truthfully.

He laughed boisterously at you. “I always appreciate your candor.”

#the band ghost #ghost band fanfic #ghost bc #ghost band smut #ghoul smut #ghost band ghouls #nameless ghouls #mountain ghoul #mountain ghost #ghost mountain #mountain ghoul x reader #ghost band fanfiction

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krukel · 3 months

Text

After @seokoilua posted about the My Life, My Music interview (a while ago, this post is partially from my drafts!) I went to relisten to it. And in general it is a very fun interview with a lot of insightful moments about their creation process (Ne Bi Smel in particular) and the mixing process for example. Their voices in general are very soft (in tone, not volume) especially when talking to each other and the vibe is 🥰 I wanted to highlights some of my favourite moments because I want more people to know about them:

2:35 - They talk a bit about doing many concerts in a row and Kris says: "At one point in the summer we had four consecutive days of concerts and the fourth day was already the wors-" (gets cut of by Bojan). Knowing they have now done 7 concerts in 6 days during the nordic tour this is a little funny and a little sad to hear :(

3:59 - Not necessarily a moment but the first song (chosen by Bojan) is Ni Panike by Masayah and I think more people should go listen to Masayah so I'm including it >:)

14:30 - Ne Bi Smel was first called "burning room" and, quoting Bojan, "it couldn't have been more of an Ed Sheeran song." It sounds like the rest was not initially impressed: "and when I brought it to the rehearsal room the boys were like, yeah, hm, yeah no. and I think Jure just started banging on the drums and the guys took on the guitars and started playing some riff."

15:35 - The host asks a question about something they said somewhere else and Bojan and Kris argue a bit about who said that in the first place. It's very cute and my favourite moment is Bojan whispering at the end "I don't think so" because of course he needs to get last word in

21:34 - Hater!Kris returns because apparently he sends "not to appealing" songs to the groupchat?

Kris (about Jet Black Diamonds): The first time that we heard them it was their first single Retro Anorak, and I remember sending over the video to the guys in the group chat and I was like "oh, this is interesting," because usually I send some really… not too- Host: Obscure Kris: No no. Not too appealing Slovenian songs, because- Bojan: Yeah, Kris does that Kris: to be honest there's loads of them and I keep kinda getting them recommended somehow on Facebook or I dunno, it's like a positive feedback loop

Honestly the most surprising thing to me about this is that in the year of our lord 2022 Kris still used Facebook actively enough to stumble across things like that

23:56 - Kris talks about forming Buržoazija and how his guitar instructor recommended Jan: "Jan at that point was really like- I didn't really understand what he was about, he was like an introverted guy, really, also listening to a lot of metal and I was like "okaaay? I guess we'll try?" and then we started to practice and really got along."

25:45 - Luka (Apokalipsa's guitar player) and Martin already knew how to play and Bojan didn't and that's how they decided that he should sing. Also their first performance (also up on youtube, baby Bojči is very cute) was two (2!!) weeks after they started practising together

28:49 - About creating outside of Slovenia

Host: Is there something specific that you haven't yet done that you are desperately keen to do, or is this gonna gently evolve? Bojan: I dunno about the desperately want to do, I guess one thing we "truly desperately want to do" is go out of Slovenia to create. To try a new space. So go to a studio somewhere outside of our borders and see if the mindflow is different there. That is the only thing I can think of right now. Maybe Kris has- Kris: In addition to that, I really wanna see us tour anywhere, anywhere outside of Slovenia" Host: You are beginning to get to the audience already a little bit, […], you can find opportunities Kris: Yes, yes, we are, don't worry about it. We just don't want to talk to much about it yet Bojan: Let's say we're gonna have another interview next year and we're gonna have so much to talk about

This was before Hamburg where they created Carpe Diem and before London and honestly I'm glad they're getting to experience that Erasmus+/semester abroad experience because it's something they really wanted to do and they seem to be enjoying it a lot

#joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #kris guštin #bojan #kris #hater kris is my favourite kris 🥰#hope you don't mind me tagging you seokoilua!

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copperbadge · 1 year

Note

If you could buy Tumblr, would you?

Hm, an interesting thought!

If I were capable of buying Tumblr this would imply one of two things: either Tumblr is so devalued and has become so cheap to maintain that a single man living in downtown Chicago with two cats to feed could afford to buy it and keep it, or I have somehow come into enough wealth that I am capable of squandering millions on the Hellsite.

(Or I'm running the most incredible con, which is actually the most flattering option.)

If we're talking a situation where Tumblr would cost me roughly the price of a third cat to purchase and maintain, sure. Buy it, keep it like a pet. This is a bit of an unrealistic vision of things, because under what circumstances would this possibly happen, but as long as we're in unreality, let's pretend I could also simply add and remove features at will. That's some fun shit. Sure, I would.

The more realistic option (for a given value) is that I have mysteriously come into a massive sum of money and could afford to purchase Tumblr. In this scenario, I could likely afford to operate it at a loss only for so long, but I don't actually know how much Tumblr costs on a yearly basis to keep it operational. Most of the problems with most social media, however, come from the fact that they don't just have to break even, they have to turn a profit to continue to function, or they have to have regular infusions of venture capital. A thorny issue.

Ideally what I would do once Tumblr was purchased, and presuming all the other share/stakeholders and investors were paid off, was immediately convert it to a nonprofit. What you can do with nonprofit cash is a lot smaller than what you can do with for-profit levels of investment, but turning Tumblr into a nonprofit has the immediate advantage of no longer having to make money. Tumblr can actually run at a "loss" if it's a public service, because it's all donation-supported anyway. I could think of half a dozen immediate easy targets for major gift fundraising for "Tumblr 503", and I would immediately begin planning both an annual campaign (that's what you see Wikipedia and AO3 doing each year) and a capital campaign to create an endowment to protect the org from future depredation.

Depending on funding I would also be willing to create an arm of the Tumblr Foundation that could start separate initiatives like legal protection for activists on the platform, AI that is better at recognizing illegal content so we don't have huge buildings of poor traumatized motherfuckers doing that moderation work, and such things. This isn't at all uncommon -- the nonprofit I work for now is a medical nonprofit, but even as small as we are, we have numerous different initiatives, from political lobbying to pharma outreach to a helpline for the newly diagnosed to a yearly conference for doctors in the field to funding for young researchers.

Would it work? Dunno. Possibly not, I'm not experienced in backend management of a massive website. But I know people who are, and if the money was there I'd take a stab at it. Worst case scenario, we just take it private again and sucker a couple of billionaires out of their money a second time. Promise if the nonprofit doesn't work and we sell Tumblr to the highest bidder, everyone on the site when we do gets a cut.

#tumblr #blue hellsite

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secretswiftymarvelfan · 10 months

Text

Burnin’ Up - Firefighter!Chris AU (Part 18: Moving On and Up)

Summary: While you continue to recover and move on, Chris has one last demon to face.

Word Count: 9.9k

Warnings: Angst! Fluff! Language! SMUT! 18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI!

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Meet the Characters!

Series Masterlist / Masterlist

Chapter 18: Moving On and Up

You had been attending therapy twice a week now for three weeks and despite how against it you were in the beginning you were so glad Chris had convinced you to give it a shot. Each session left you feeling emotionally raw and exhausted but after each session Chris would be there to wrap his arms around you and help nurse you through your emotional hangover.

You’d began to open up to him too, telling him more stories from your childhood. He would try his best not to let his anger show but you’d remind him that it was okay for him to get angry. You were angry too and it felt nice to know he was that protective over you.

On the days Chris had to work, Ben would visit if he could. The pair of you would sit down on the couch together and stick on a film or two only to pay very little attention to it as you talked about pretty much anything. He would tell you about Matt and the fun they had been getting up to together, you’d tell him how you were doing, he’d then apologise for not saying anything about your father sooner, you’d tell him that he’d had nothing to apologise for and that you understood why.

He'd asked you when you thought you might return to work but you just didn’t have an answer. When he would tell you about the cases he was working on you felt envious, you didn’t like that you were missing out on the action but you just didn’t feel like you could just walk back into work right now. you weren’t sure where you stood with policing anymore.

“is there anything bothering you that you want to discuss during our session today?” Sally asks pulling you from your thoughts.

“Hm?” you hum glancing up from the sleeping pup that was currently curled up in your lap “I uh I dunno really” you admit with a small shrug of your shoulders.

“has anything been playing on your mind?” she continues.

You nibbled your lower lip, nodding your head as you looked down at the puppy in your lap, its silky golden fur calming you as you stroked it “I guess I’ve been thinking about work a bit recently” you confess.

Sally nods her head gently “Okay, what about it?” she questions.

“well Benny has been visiting me whenever he can, keeping me company while Chris is on shift and we’ve started talking more about what he’s been up to and the cases he’s worked on” you explain.

“Okay, and how have you felt discussing work again?” she asks you.

You give her another small shrug of the shoulders “Fine I guess, you know it's been nice and it felt almost normal because a lot of time we are talking and discussing the cases we’re working on but…” you say trailing off at the end.

“this time he’s working them without you and you feel like you’re missing out” Sally finishes for you, you let out a long and deep sigh, nodding your head in confirmation “Have you thought about returning to work?” she then asks

“a little but… I just don’t think I’m ready yet” you admit with a shake of your head looking down.

“and why’s that? What do you think is holding you back?” Sally asks you.

You take a deep breath, worrying over your lip as you glanced out of the window beside you. Sally remained quiet as you gazed out of the window, allowing you time to process your thoughts and find a way to verbalise them.

“I just- I worry that I’ll be watched” you admit “Which part of me knows is stupid because my father knows he’s been caught and like any other… criminal,” you say struggling over the word criminal because it just didn’t feel right “he would have gone to ground, lying low until it blew over, but then I also worry that other people will look at me differently, they won’t know why I’ve been off work for over a month but they’ll wonder and they’ll gossip” you continue shaking your head, face pinching together in frustration “and I just don’t know where I stand with being a cop anymore”

Sally frowns slightly, her head tilting as she looked back at you “What do you mean by that?” she asks.

“well I- it was my father that got me into policing” you explain “It was something I could ask him about as a kid and he’d openly talk about it with me, he’d be happy to take me on stakeouts or ride around in his patrol car, it was him that made me fall in love with it”

“And do you think you might have chosen a different career if things had been different? If your mother had survived?” Sally questions.

“I don’t know” you admit weakly with a small sniffle as you look down.

You hear Sally get up from her chair making you glance up and you see her grabbing a box of tissues, holding them out for you. you whisper a thanks as you take a couple and start dabbing away your tears. She then sits back down and gives you a few minutes just to compose yourself.

“Okay firstly I want you to know that the anxieties you are feeling are completely normal for anyone who has experienced a work-based trauma,” she tells you reassuringly “and there is also nothing wrong with starting from scratch in a new career”

You nod your head “I just don’t know what else I’d want to do” you admit.

“that’s okay we can sort that, there’s lots of quizzes and resources out there that can help you find out what kind of career might suit you” she reassures you “So what I want you to do in between now and the our next session is for you to just do some research into other careers and see if any of them excite you, do you think you can do that?” she asks.

“yeah, I can do that” you nod, earning a warm smile in response.

As usual, Chris made sure you had a comfy and cosy evening following your session. He ran you a bath, one that you both enjoyed together, you relaxing back into his chest and nearly falling asleep.

He then made you one of your favourite comfort meals and you both sat down to sit down to watch one of your favourite sit-coms. Once you had eaten you grabbed your laptop and started researching different careers like you promised Sally you would.

When Chris questioned what you were doing you explained what you had talked about in your session today. You could tell by the small pinch of his brows and the way the corners of his lips twitched downwards that he didn’t like what he was hearing. You knew he didn’t like the idea that your father was potentially pushing you out of the job you loved, the one that helped bring you and Chris together. But he then put on a smile that you knew was sincere and promised to help you in any way you could.

Over the next couple of days, you continued to research different careers and industries hoping that one of them would catch your attention and spark something but there was nothing. You took a couple of quizzes but all they told you was that you suited a career in the emergency services.

You were starting to think maybe you just needed to switch to a different emergency service but you weren’t sure. You wondered about switching to being a firefighter, you thought about talking to Chris about it, but you weren’t sure how he would react. He could love it because it meant you could actually work together, but he could also absolutely hate the idea because he knew just how dangerous it was.

The doorbell ringing pulled you from your worrying, you breathed a sigh of relief for the moment of reprieve that it gave you. pushing your laptop off your lap you make your way over to the front door, surprised to find Robert stood the other side holding a box.

“hi Y/N, sorry for dropping around unannounced but Chris asked me to drop this around to him” Robert smiles nodding down to the box in his hands.

“oh, he’s out at work at the moment,” you say as he passes you the box.

“I know they’re doing an emergency first aid refresher today, I just was in the area and thought might as well” Robert explains with a small shrug of his shoulders.

“yeah of course, I’ll let him know you dropped by” you smile putting the box down just inside the house.

“Sure, oh um before I forget I noticed one of your car tires is flat” Robert says gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb.

“oh really? I haven’t driven it in a while” you say frowning in confusion.

“Probably just a slow puncture then, easy to miss but it's completely flat now” Robert sighs glancing over towards your car.

You whisper a small curse “Okay, thanks for letting me know I’ll call a garage and see if they can come pick it up”

“oh don’t waste your money on recovery, why don’t I help you change the tire now and then you can just drive it to the garage when you’re ready” Robert suggests.

“oh no it's okay, I’m sure you have lots of other important things to be getting on with,” you say waving the idea off.

“nonsense, it won’t take long at all some get some shoes on and we’ll get started” Robert smiles already walking off towards your car.

You let out a small sigh before sliding on some trainers and grabbing your car keys from the small dish by the front door. As you shut the front door behind you, you spot Robert standing on the other side of your car hands on his hips as he looked down at your flat tire with his lips pursed. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you recognised all the same mannerisms that you saw in Chris, they might not look very similar but they definitely acted in the same way.

Walking over you join him on the other side of the car letting out a low whistle when you saw just how flat your tire was “Jeez, almost looks like it’s been purposefully flattened” you comment as you bend down to get a better look.

“uh yeah, have you done this before?” Robert asks, scratching the back of his neck.

“no never got taught how to, figured I’d just google it if I got a flat while on the road” You shrug as you stand back up, you expected to see a sympathetic smile after revealing something else your father failed at, but as you look back over at Robert but all you saw was a fatherly smile.

“Well, it's never too late to learn a valuable skill, c’mon” he smiles patting you on the shoulder.

For the next half an hour Robert taught you how to change a tire, showing you how to jack up the car and loosen the bolts. He got you to do a couple of the bolts after he’d show you how. He was kind and patient and answered any questions you had without making you feel stupid for asking them.

He was just putting the damaged tired back in your car ready for whenever you took it to the garage when you decided to ask him a question “Do you think I’d be a good firefighter?”

Robert pauses for a moment, his eyes scanning over you before he stands back to his full height and closes the trunk “Why’d you ask?” he questions.

“I’ve been considering leaving the police force after you know… my therapist suggested doing quizzes to find out what I might be good at and all of them said a job in the emergency services so I thought maybe joining the fire department” you explain wrapping your arms around you as you spoke.

Robert nods his head a couple of times “Well honestly I think you’d be a great firefighter, we’d be extremely lucky to have you” he tells you “but I think you’d be a better detective” he finishes catching you by surprise.

“Really?” you mutter your eyes still wide in surprise.

“yeah, Chris talks about you a lot and I’ve seen the work you’ve done and it's incredible, there’s so many bad apples that the community needs an officer like you” Robert nods as he puts a comforting hand on your shoulder, “I think if you leave the police force you’ll regret it, especially because it means he won,” he says squeezing your shoulder.

You take a deep shaky breath realising he was right, your father had given you an ultimatum. Choose Chris or your job. By staying with Chris and leaving the police force you would be letting him win, he would be getting his way. You wanted both.

“I understand why you’d be hesitant to jump straight back in but you’ll get there because your one strong gal, and I don’t mean the way you nailed Chris with that softball” Robert smirks making you let out a watery laugh.

“thank you Robert” you smile over at him.

“it's nothing, and if you ever need anything just let me know okay?” He tells you squeezing your shoulder.

“I promise” you nod, for a second you went in to hug him but hesitated.

Robert must have seen your hesitation because he then pulled you in and hugged you instead. You instantly breathed out a sigh of relief as you hugged him back, getting the first fatherly hug you’d had in years.

Things felt normal. Or as close to normal as things could be. Chris could see you coming more and more out of your shell every day, smiling, laughing and even playfully challenging him. You still had moments when you would disappear into yourself a memory that you didn’t want to remember unearthing itself. But you would just make your way over to him and seek comfort from him. He’d ask if you wanted to talk about it, sometimes you did, and sometimes you just wanted him to hold him, either way, it wasn’t long until that dark cloud disappeared and a genuine smile would return to your face.

You had even begun to get out more, you and Chris spending the day with the kids at the park, or going over to Ben and Matt’s for dinner. You had admitted to him that you still felt hesitant going out, paranoid that your father was still watching you. But you were done with letting him control your life, so Chris watched as you stepped out the door with your head held high, proudly holding his hand. Giving your father a metaphorical middle finger and Chris was insanely proud. You were so much stronger than he felt he’d ever be.

Chris was just clearing up all the plates from dinner while you were in the living room with the kids helping them pack up all the stuff they brought over. Chris was just drying his hands when he heard you and all the kids laugh loudly, walking back out he found you all sat on the couch. Stella was sitting in your lap, the two boys on either side all playing with the face filters on your new phone.

“What are you troublemakers getting up to?” Chris asked as he leant over the back of the couch and into frame of the camera, the kids all screaming with laughter when the filter moved onto his face making him look like an old lady “Oh gahd I look like Nana Lisa” he comments making the kids laugh hysterically.

“you’re a very pretty old lady” you chuckle looking over your shoulder at him.

Chris winks back at you “Glad to hear it” he smirks, leaning down to peck you on the lips just as the doorbell went “That’ll be your dad” he tells the kids.

“aww already? Can’t we stay longer?” Miles whines pouting up at Chris.

“Sorry pal we’ll hang out soon I promise, make sure you have everything while I let him in,” Chris tells them as he moves towards the door.

As he goes he hears the kids whine some more but then he heard Stella asking you to help put her shoes on, something that made his heart melt and a warm smile grow on his face. when he opened the front door he greeted Ryan with a handshake as he let him in.

“Thanks for having them again, they been good?” Ryan asks as the two of them walk back towards the living room.

“oh they were terrible” Chris sighs dramatically, trying not to laugh when the kids all shouted and called him a liar “Absolute terrors, I think they should go to bed with no dessert” Chris continues as the boys jump onto his back trying to cover his mouth “I’m joking, I’m joking” he finally caves, laughing as he pulls the boys off him.

“They were good as gold as always” You smile, your arm around Stella’s shoulders as you walked over.

“glad to hear it, c’mon kids it's getting late say goodbye to Uncle Chris and Y/N” Ryan says as he began to herd the kids back to the front door.

“Bye Uncle Chris! Bye Auntie Y/N!” The kids all called out as they dashed back out to the car.

Chris’ brows rise in surprise a wide smile creeping onto his face as he glanced over at you to see you biting your lower lips to stop yourself from smiling too widely. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his side and pressed a kiss to your temple which made your smile fully break out.

The two of your wave goodbye to the kids, watching as the car drives down the drive and onto the main road. Once out of view Chris closed the door and turned around to face you “Glass of wine?” he suggests.

“sounds perfect” you smile with a content sigh.

Chris grins back down at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead “Okay you go get comfy and I’ll go pour us some” he says his hand moving to the small of your back as he stepped away.

Walking into the kitchen he grabbed the bottle of white that was already in the fridge and poured out a serving for the both of you. when he made his way back into the living room you had already made yourself comfy, a blanket draped over your lap.

You smiled warmly up at him as he passed you your glasses and sat down next to you, your legs moving to rest over his lap. He smiled lazily as he tugged the blanket over your legs before resting his hand on top of your knee.

“cheers Auntie Y/N” Chris smirked as held his glass up in a toast.

You smiled bashfully but lifted your glass to meet his “Cheers Uncle Chris” you chuckled lightly, Chris smiling warmly back his eyes never leaving your face as he took a sip.

For the next half an hour or so you just relax, sipping on your wine. The TV was on but neither Chris nor you were paying much attention. You were just quietly chatting, you telling him about what the kids got up to when he was out of the room, Chris smiling warmly over at you, his hand running up and down your leg.

The sound of the doorbell ringing disrupted your tale, making you and Chris frown and look at each other in confusion “One of the kids must have left something” Chris sighs moving to get up.

“Relax, I’ll go get it,” you say putting your hand on his chest and getting up from the couch, putting your wine glass down on the coffee table.

Chris went to protest but you were already on your way to the front door, so instead he began scanning the room trying to spot whatever it was that the kids left. He was just about to get up from the couch to look underneath it when he heard a pair of footsteps approaching.

Looking over he frowned in confusion as you walked in with his dad who was still in his Chief’s Uniform “Sorry to burst in on your night off but I’ve got some bad news” Robert sighs apologetically.

“is it about my father?” you ask quietly, standing off to the side your arms wrapping around your waist making Chris want to rush over and hug you.

“no, no it's not don’t worry” Robert is quick to reassure you, Chris noticed the sigh of relief you breathed out “It's about Captain Jeffords,” Robert says turning to look at Chris.

“What happened?” Chris asks his brows furrowing in concern.

“he was clearing out the guttering on his house and took a nasty fall, shattered his hip” Robert explains with a sigh.

“shit. Is he okay?” You mutter your eyes wide with shock.

“yeah he was lucky, but his hip was so damaged they’re having to completely replace it so he’s going to be on medical leave for an extended period of time” Robert explains.

Chris internally curses, his dad’s visit suddenly making sense. He was here to promote Chris to captain, something Chris had been trying to avoid. He’d been using the excuse that he didn’t want to take charge of a different crew thinking that there was no way Jeffords would leave or retire, meaning there was no way for Chris to be promoted.

“Dad I-“ Chris starts taking a deep breath ready to convince him not to do this.

“Chris I’m not automatically promoting you, but I do need you to be acting Captain until I can organise a more permanent replacement” Robert interrupts holding his hand out with a knowing look in his eyes.

Chris couldn’t stop the sigh of relief that escaped his lips, he also didn’t miss the way your brows furrowed slightly in confusion “How long?” Chris asked.

“only a couple weeks, 3 at most” Robert answers “So is that a yes?”

“yeah, yeah sure” Chris managed to say, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest, he could do this, it was only two or three weeks, and the chances of something going wrong in that time were small.

“Good, I’ll let you explain the situation to the rest of the crew and I’ll give Jennings a heads up as well” Robert nods before glancing over at you “I’ll you get back to your evening, see you at the station Chris”

“yeah- sure see you at the station” Chris says his voice still hoarse as he awkwardly nodded.

Robert gives Chris one last small smile before saying he’d let himself out and making his way out of the living room. As soon as he was gone you made your way across the room, sitting down and resting your hand on his arm.

“wanna talk about it?” you offer softly.

He knew he shouldn’t but he instantly closed up “There’s nothing to talk about,” he said quickly, shaking his head at the idea.

You just gave him a knowing look and said “Chris…”

“It's fine, it's just a bit of a surprise that’s all, I’m worried about Jeffords he must hate not being able to work for months” Chris shrugs trying and failing to sound convincing.

“Chris, you are a terrible liar” you say shooting him another knowing look making him sigh deeply “C’mon tell me what’s on that mind of yours” you say gently tapping his forehead “You’ve helped me work through so much so let me repay the favour”

“I’m scared, I’ve never wanted to be a Captain” Chris admitted quietly, looking down at his lap.

“Okay, why is that?” you ask softly, your hand moving to run up and down his arm soothingly.

“well my dad has always wanted me to work up the ranks, he didn’t want me to make the same mistakes that he did, the higher up you are the more flexibility you have and the balance is better” Chris explains “For a really long time I didn’t need that balance, I didn’t think that I would be lucky enough to find someone that I’d want that balance for, until you that is” he looks over at you and see the soft smile on your face “I’ve always pushed back against every promotion, only took them when I felt ready and deserving, especially when my dad became chief”

“I get that, I was the same with my father, I didn’t want anyone to think I was getting special treatment when really it was the complete opposite” You sigh shaking your head as you looked down.

Chris reached out to take your hand, squeezing it gently “I knew my crew would get it because they knew me but other crews in the city would just see me as the chief’s son so I said I’d consider it if Jeffords retired since everyone knows that Jeffords would never retire so I thought I was safe but clearly not” he sighs.

“what do you mean by safe?” you ask frowning slightly as you tilted your head.

“that I wouldn’t ever have that responsibility on my shoulders, the responsibility to keep everyone safe and ensure we save everyone… if something went wrong it would be my fault and I don’t think I could handle that pressure” Chris finally admits “I mean just hearing how much my crew rely on me already just freaks me out and it would only get worse if I became captain”

You let out a long sigh as you run your thumb back and forth over the back of his hand “I understand, it’s scary taking on that responsibility but you wouldn’t have been asked to do so if they didn’t think you could do it” you reassure him “I’ve seen you on the job and you practically command the team already and they trust you, they’d know that you wouldn’t lead them in blindly”

“but what if I make a bad call, like at the apartment building fire when I got hurt” Chris argues shaking his head.

“well let me ask you this, would you have instructed anyone else to do what you did?” you ask him shifting to face him more.

Chris didn’t even need to think about it “fuck no” he states shaking his head.

“Exactly, you would never risk someone else’s life if you weren’t sure it was safe,” you tell him with a knowing look “You were only reckless with your own life, which I hope I won’t be doing any more”

Chris couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle “No I won’t I promise” he smile gently over at you.

You smile back at him, reaching up to cup his cheek and kissing him softly “Good, now I know you don’t believe it but they believe it you, I believe it you, and like your dad said it's only for a couple of weeks so if you really hate it, it’s not forever if you don’t want it to be”

Chris let out another long sigh as he took in your words, he knew you were right but he still didn’t feel completely comfortable with it. He couldn’t stop himself from worrying that this was going to be a massive mistake.

“Just give it a shot, you might end up loving it and you won’t know if you don’t try,” you say your thumb brushing over his bearded cheek.

His gaze rose to meet yours. Your eyes shone with unfiltered faith in his, it wasn’t that long ago that those same eyes appeared dull and empty. You were bravely facing demons and working through decades of trauma, it made his issue seem insignificant. So even though he still wasn’t convinced he nodded his head.

“thank you babe” he whispered leaning in to rest his forehead against yours to help ground him.

“Anything for you” you muttered back, kissing him softly.

Walking through the grocery store list in hand, you worked your way through the list making sure you had everything you needed for tomorrow. Chris had done so much for you the past few weeks, in many ways he’d saved your life. Brought you back from the darkness and the storm that your father had brought upon you. so you decided you wanted to treat him to say thank you, because just saying the words didn’t seem enough.

You were just picking up some fresh fruit when you felt your phone ringing in your pocket. Gently putting the melon you were holding in the cart, you grabbed your phone, frowning when you saw it was Paul that was calling you.

“hey Paulie is everything okay?” you ask trying not to worry yourself too much before you found out why he was calling you mid-shift.

“Hi Y/N, um yeah it’s Chris” he greeted making your heart stop for a split second “he’s fine he’s not hurt,” Paul said quickly when he heard your breath catch “Something just seems up, he’s practically locked himself in his office, isn’t even letting Dodger in”

“oh” you mutter your brows pinching together “Have you spoken to him? Has he said anything”

“I tried but just said he was fine and just had a lot to get on with but I could just tell he was lying, and I’m just worried his head isn’t in the right place” Paul sighs.

“of course, look I’m actually nearby I’ll pop over now and just see if he’s okay, he might just be busy like he said but better safe than sorry,” you tell him letting out a small shaky breath.

“great thank you Y/N, I’ll see you in a few” Paul breathes a deep sigh of relief.

You mumble a goodbye as you pocket your phone and abandon your shopping, you were just about to leave the store when you passed a promotional stand full of jellybeans. Knowing those were Chris’ favourite you grabbed a couple bags, paid for them and made your way out towards the station.

Once you arrived Dodger instantly greeted you, his tail wagging furiously as he jumped slightly to say hello. You bent down to give him some fussing “Where’s your dad hey?” you murmur as you scratch behind his ear.

Dodger lets out a small whimper and whine, nuzzling his snout into your arm.

“Don’t worry Bubba I’ll sort him out” you promise, kissing the top of his head before making your way towards the Captain’s office.

You didn’t bother knocking, just pushed open the door instantly spotting Chris with his elbows resting on the desk, hands running up and down into his hair. His head snapped up when he heard the door open, his hair pointing in all different directions telling you just how many times he’d messed it up. His eyes widened for a split second in what you could only describe as fear before instantly relaxing into a warm gaze.

“babe, hey, what- what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” Chris asks standing up from his desk.

“I’m good, was just in the area and thought I’d pop in,” you say smiling up at him warmly as he walked over to press a soft kiss to your lips, as he pulled away you reached up to smooth out and fix his wild hair “are you okay though?”

You feel Chris tense under your touch for a moment before nodding stiffly “Yeah I’m fine” he says his voice strained.

“Chris we both know fine doesn’t mean okay,” you tell him gently, your hand moving to rest on his chest feeling his thundering heart beneath your fingertips.

“I-“ Chris stutters as he looks down, his hand moving to rest over yours, fingers weaving together “I just feel on edge, like my body is preparing to go into fight or flight mode and I’m scared it’ll pick flight” he admits quietly.

“Okay, that’s normal” you reassure him “Look let's sit down and you can tell me everything that’s racing through your mind” you suggest pointing over to the small brown leather couch in the corner.

Chris just nods his hand slipping into yours as he led you over to the couch. He sat down first and before you even had the chance to sit next to him he had pulled you down so you were sat across his lap. He nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply before letting out a long ragged sigh, pressing a soft kiss to your exposed skin.

Your hand found his that had been resting on your lap, gently picking it up and softly massaging his fingers, rubbing circles around his fingertips. A technique your therapist had taught you to help focus, recentre yourself and relax.

It was clearly working as Chris began to speak without you needing to prompt him “I thought I’d be okay, I thought I’d managed to talk myself into it but just this morning at the briefing, all their eyes on me…” he said quietly, his voice drifting off at the end as he shook his head “I’m used to a couple of them looking at me for leadership when I’m leading a team inside a building, but all of them… it just felt too much and that was just a briefing, how the hell am I gonna cope when I have to keep all of 10 of them safe and the countless civilians” he admits lifting his head enough so you could see his watery eyes.

You let out a quiet sympathetic sigh as you cupped his cheek and gently brushed away the stray tears with your thumb “You can do it because you’re an amazing firefighter, and because they’ll call you out on your bullshit if they need to” you say succeeding in getting a weak chuckle from him.

That small moment of reprieve soon disappeared as his brows furrowed again “But what if I freeze, forget what I’m supposed to do, fuck my head is swimming at the moment I’d probably order water on an electrical fire” he says shaking his head.

“no, you won’t because you know just as well as I do that we’re trained so much that its all second nature, as soon as you’re on-site and you know what you’re dealing with all that training will kick in and you’ll know exactly what to do to the point you won’t even be thinking, you’ll just be acting and saving lives” you reassure him, making sure you met his gaze to drive your point home.

He still didn’t seem convinced though as he let out a shaky “I dunno”

“yes, you do and I’ll prove it,” you tell him firmly making his brows furrow slightly in confusion "What do you do when responding to a bonfire out of control”

“Y/N-“ he starts with a sigh, shaking his head.

“Just tell me, what do you do?” you press, squeezing his hand.

He lets out a small huff but does as he’s told, telling you step by step what needs to happen when responding to that sort of call out. When he was done you then continued to quiz him on all the different types of fire and emergency situations he could possibly face. The more he answered the more confident he got, even talking about different external factors and how they should be managed if they should crop up.

“See?” you say once he was done “You know so much, all you need to do is take a deep breath, calm your mind and think, don’t let panic blind you,” you tell him resting your hand back on his chest his heartbeat much steadier than before “and you know you can do it, you’ve stepped up before, you can do it again and again and again, and maybe for the rest of your career if you really want to”

“let’s not get ahead of ourselves, this is still Jeffords’ job when he gets back” Chris said with a small chuckle.

“of course” you smile knowing deep down that once Chris got himself stuck in he would end up falling in love with it “And since today is such a big day and you’re gonna be super brave, I got you a little treat,” you say reaching into your jacket pocket and pulling out the bags of jellybeans.

Chris lets out a warm unfiltered laugh as you put the jellybeans in his hand, smiling warmly over at you “Thank you sweetheart, I don’t know what I did to deserve you” he smiles leaning forward to nuzzle his nose against yours before softly pressing a kiss to your lips.

For the next half an hour you helped Chris relax and ensure that little voice in his head was well and truly silenced. You watched as the smile on his face got warmer and more relaxed, his shoulders becoming less tense as you rubbed your hand over them. His boisterous laughter echoed through the room as he stuffed his face with the jellybeans you brought him.

He was just about to show you the private sleeping quarters attached to the office when an alarm rang through the station. You felt the hand you held tense, his shoulders minutely hunching at the sound. You turned him to face you, his eyes widening slightly as you reached up and cup his cheek.

“take a deep breath, calm your mind and think, you can do this,” you tell him firmly before reaching up to press a kiss to his lips “Now go be a hero, I’ll be right here when you get back”

Chris blinked a couple of times, the hint of fear disappearing in his eyes “I could be gone for hours” he muttered.

“that’s okay, I’ll wait here with Dodger and then we’ll celebrate your first successful call out as acting Captain” you grin up at him “now go”

A smile tugs at Chris’ lips as he nods, pressing a quick kiss on your lips before rushing out of the office to go join his team.

Two hours later you were playing fetch with Dodger in the area of the station that usually held the trucks. The sound of the ball echoed in the vast empty space as it bounced highlighting just how quiet it was when they were out on duty. A stark contrast to how loud and rambunctious it could be.

You had already banned yourself from looking at the clock. For the first hour, you’d kept looking at it expecting hours to have passed when it was only minutes. Each time you had to take a deep breath and focus on something else, try and not to worry about Chris.

You hadn’t realised just how long callouts could be until you were the one waiting for them to return. The hours would fly by for Chris but for you, they’d drag giving you too much time to think.

As time dragged on you fought that voice in your head that worried and thought in what ifs. What if something had gone wrong, what if the reason they were gone so long was because someone was hurt, what if that someone was Chris?

The two members of Chris’ crew that had stayed back to man the station in their absence tried to distract you and entertain you. You had asked them how they thought Chris was doing as Captain, both of them reassuring you that he was killing it already. But all the talk of Chris just made you miss him more.

You considered calling Lisa or Sally, just to have someone to get all these thoughts and fears off your mind. You knew Lisa would understand exactly how you felt, she’d probably drive straight over to keep you company.

You were just about the ring Sally when you heard the engine pull onto the street. A big sigh of relief escaped your lips as the truck parked up and the crew began to climb out. None of them looked despondent which was a good sign, but you still were holding out to see how Chris looked.

He was the last to climb out of the truck, his eyes scanned the area, a wide smile breaking out when he laid eyes on you. He jogged straight over to you, catching you by surprise when he wrapped his arms around you tightly, picking you up and spinning you around.

You let out a squeal of surprise clinging onto him, the smell of smoke clinging to his jacket, giggling as he continued to spin you around. To the point that when he finally put you down he had to steady you because you were so dizzy.

You didn’t even get the chance to ask him how it went. His large hands cupped your cheeks and kissed you deeply. So deeply that you were completely breathless.

“I take it went well then,” you say with a breathy chuckle.

“So good, so so good” Chris grinned “and all because of you”

You smile up at him softly, shaking your head “I didn’t do anything”

“You did everything, you had confidence in me when I had none, it was your voice in my head telling me to breathe and think, you got me through it and showed me I had nothing to be afraid of” Chris’ eyes fixing on yours as he spoke, his thumb gently brushing over your cheekbone.

You felt the lump in your throat grow, to the point you were almost rendered speechless “I’m so proud of you” you croaked, tears welling up in your eyes.

Chris just smiled softly as he leaned down to kiss away the stray tears that fell down your cheeks. He then wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you into his side as he turned to face his crew.

“Right, you guys know what to do, I want all the equipment refreshed and ready for the next call out by the time I’m done with my report” he ordered his eyes scanning over his crew.

“On it Cap” Jamie said giving him a small salute.

“Good dismissed, and nobody bothers me while I do this report,” Chris says as he glances down at you, a mischievous look in his eyes “Gotta get it right so ai need to focus”

His crew nod in response before breaking away to go do their jobs. You expected Chris to say goodbye to you then so he could focus on his report. But he kept his arm around you and led you back to his office.

You were just leaving the Truck area when Chris looked over his shoulder and called out “Hey Paulie, mind giving Dodger a bone for me?” He didn’t even wait for a response, Dodger already dashing off towards Paul.

You just faintly heard Paulie grumble “Reports my ass”

Once you were inside his office, Chris locked the door behind him, peeking out between the blinds before turning to look at you with a hungry look in his eyes.

You knew that look on his face all too well. It was a look that had your toes curling and heat blooming in your core. A look that told you that writing his report was the very last thing on his mind.

You nibbled your lower lip as he closed the distance between the two of you in two large steps. He shrugged off his jacket as he went, allowing you to see his rippling biceps in all their glory, your eyes fixated on them as he threw his jacket onto the small couch.

Your breath hitched when he reached you, his arms snaking around your waist tugging you into his chest. One large hand splayed across your back, the other gently cradling the back of your head. His head dipped as his lips met yours for a deep, commanding kiss, one that left no argument as to who was in charge.

His tongue swiped across the seam of your lips, begging for entrance which you happily obliged. You couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped your lips, your fingers clutching his suspenders as he walked you back towards the desk.

You let out a small squeak of surprise when the back of your legs hit the edge of the desk, Chris quickly and easily picks you up and sets you back down on it. Pushing away the odd piece of paperwork and pencil holder.

Your legs parted and Chris stepped into the space between, a smirk growing on his face as you wrapped your legs around his waist trapping him in. His lips began to travel across your jawline and down your neck, your head rolling back and to the side to give him better access.

Through your hooded eyes, you then spotted something that made you rest your hand on his chest “As much as I’d love to continue this, I don’t think I can do it with Jeffords’s family watching” you admit.

Chris’ head reared back in surprise his brows furrowing in confusion before he followed your gaze and spotted the framed picture of Jeffords and his family on the desk. He let out a snort of laughter his head falling to the crook of your shoulder.

You laughed along with him, fingers running over the nape of his neck and up into his hair. He lifted his head, eyes full of mirth as he leaned back in to press a soft kiss to your lips “How about the private captain’s quarters?” He suggests.

“Can’t think of a better way to celebrate and make your mark” you smirk making Chris laugh, his head thrown back.

He shook his head as he smiled warmly down at you “You are trouble” he murmured against your lips.

“I’m your trouble” you grin back at him.

“That you are” he smirks kissing you once more as he lifted you from the desk, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He carried you through to the attached private quarters that he’d shown you earlier. The bed wasn’t large, only being a small double, built for purpose rather than comfort.

As soon as he settled you down on the bed, you shifted up onto your knees. You ran your hands over his chest before wrapping my fingers around his suspenders and pulling his lips back down onto yours. You heard him let out a small hum as you pushed the suspenders off his shoulders, and began working on the buttons of his shirt.

Once you pushed his shirt off your shoulders you ran your nails down his bare chest to the waistband of his trousers and began to unbutton them. His breath hitched and you could have sworn you heard a small growl escape his lips when you reached inside and wrapped your fingers around his proud erection and freed it from the confines of his trousers.

You gazed up at him through your lashes to see him lick his lower lips as your own neared his tip. His eyes shuttered closed when you licked a long stripe up the underneath of his shaft. As you wrapped your lips around his tip his hand gripped the back of your head, fingers weaving into your hair. There was a small twinge of pain as he gripped your hair but it only encouraged you to take in more of him.

One of your hands moved to his thigh which was rock hard and as tensed, holding himself back. You moved your hand to the back of his thigh, squeezing and encouraging him to let himself go. He let out another growl as he gripped your hair tighter and began to thrust.

You pulled his trousers down more, pulling his boxers down with them so you could cup his balls. A hiss escaped his lips when you did so, a hiss that turned into a long drawn-out moan which made heat pool at your core, your own thighs pressing together to provide some friction.

You could feel him growing close but he just let out a groan as the hand that held the back of your head pulled you off him. You looked up at him to see his chest heaving and a pained expression on his face.

“I-I wanna finish inside you” he panted.

The corners of your lips curled up in a smirk “We’re celebrating your first call out and we both know you don’t need long to recover” you say as you gently lick his swollen tip.

Chris let out another shuddering breath but didn’t protest when you wrapped your lips around him once more. You took it further down your throat, moaning as he completely filled you up. He echoed your moan with his own as he began thrusting with more verbosity, chasing his end.

You cupped his balls once more, which was what finally drove him over the edge. His thrusts became sloppy as he began to unload himself down your throat. You swallowed every drop that you could, pulling off of him and wiping up the cum that escaped your lips with your thumb, Chris groaning in between his pants when he saw you lick your thumb clean.

Chris cupped your cheeks and leaned down to capture your lips with his, his tongue swiping over your lips tasting the remnants of his spend. He kicked his boots off as you push his trousers and boxer all the way off. Once he was completely naked before you, you pulled him down to sit on the bed, moving to straddle his hips.

One of his hands snake down your body from your cheek all the way to the wet patch of arousal on your leggings “fuck” he groaned when he felt it.

You couldn’t help but smirk as you pushed yourself off of him, taking a couple of steps back “Top or bottom first?” you question pointing to your clothes.

Chris’ lips curl upwards as he leans back ready to enjoy the show “Top and no teasing” he smirks.

“don’t ask me to make promises we know I can’t keep” you wink making Chris huff out a laugh.

You keep your eyes on his watching as his gaze turned hungrier as you lifted the lightweight sweater you wore off, revealing that you only wore a tight cotton crop top underneath. Chris began to nibble his lower lip as you then removed the crop top leaving you just in a lacy bra in his favourite shade of blue.

You kicked off the Converse you wore before turning your back on Chris, you heard him let out a small protest that soon died on his lips when you looked over your shoulder at him, your thumbs hooking into the waistband of your leggings. You saw him swallow, his cock twitching as you began to slowly push down your leggings, a groan escaping his lips as you bent over giving him the perfect look of your ass.

Slowly turning back around to face him you began to saunter over to him “Wanna finish the job?” you offer as you come to stand between his thighs.

Chris doesn’t respond, he just wraps his arms around the back of your thighs tugging you even closer. You run your fingers into his hair as he leans forward to press his lips to your abdomen for a wet kiss. He continued to press kisses down your abdomen, nipping at your skin as he went. When he reached the waistband of your matching blue panties he began to pull them down your legs, your breath hitching when he presses a kiss to the apex of your thighs.

He then hooked his hands behind your knees pulling you down to straddle his lap. Your back arched and you let out a breathy gasp when you felt his erection press against your heated core. The arch of your back gave Chris perfect access to your chest. He easily unhooked your bra, giving him full access to your breasts and erect peaks.

Leaning in he pressed a wet kiss to your sternum before moving outsides towards your stiff peaks. You moaned as he wrapped his lips around your sensitive nipple, your hand clutching the back of his neck as he dragged his teeth over it.

You could feel jolts of electricity travelling through your body with every suck and nip at your breasts. You couldn’t resist the urge to roll your hips, Chris’ moan reverberating against your chest as you did so.

You could stay forever in this position, let him worship you and bring you to your peak. But you were here to celebrate him, so you pushed on his shoulder trying not to whine when his lips left your skin.

Chris’ gaze met yours, his pupils blown to the point that there was only a small ring of blue remaining. He arched his brow minutely in a silent question.

“Lie back down” you instruct him.

A smile tugs at his lips as he does as he’s told. Shifting back onto the bed more, closer to the headboard. He kept you straddled across his lap as he moved, his hands remaining on your hip and thigh as he lay back, head resting against the pillow.

You smile lazily down at him as you rest your hands on his abs, feeling them tense beneath your touch. You begin to run your hands up his chest, exploring the wide expanse of muscle, fingers tracing over his tattoos. As you did so you leaned down closer to him until you were close enough that he could lift his head and kiss you softly. His hand moved to cup your jawline, fingers tip’s gently stroking your neck as he angled your head to deepen the kiss.

It almost pained you to pull out of the kiss as you sat up but you soon forgot that as you reached between your bodies and lined him up with your entrance. Your breath hitched when you slowly began to sink down onto him, your eye’s rolling back at the sensation of him filling you up. Chris moaned, fingers clutching your hip and the sheets until his knuckles turned white.

You waited a few moments, just savouring the moment. The only noise being the sound of both your heavy breathing. Gazing down at Chris you admire his chisel chest beneath your, the way his eyes fluttered shut and his mouth hung open as he panted. Your lips twitched upwards as you slowly began to move your hips, moans falling from his lips.

You brace your hands against his chest as you began to pick up the pace. Chris moves both his hands to your hips guiding your movements, his hips thrusting up to meet yours.

When you leaned down you let out a moan as the angle and movement brought friction to your clit. Your moans were swallowed by Chris as he captured your lips with a deep kiss. Your walls clenched around him when his hand cupped your breast, squeezing it.

You weren’t sure how much longer you could continue, that coil inside you twisting impossibly tight, thankfully Chris groaned “Fuck I’m close”

“Me too” you gasp “Let go I’m right behind you”

Chris shook his head “Wanna feel you come on me” he grunted.

You went to argue but it died on your lips as his hand sneaked between your body and found your clit. All touch from his callused fingers have you coming undone in an instead. Your walls pulsed around him, milking him dry when he found his second peak shortly after you.

Once your muscles began to relax you reluctantly lifted yourself off of him, before collapsing down onto him. Chris let out a small chuckle as moved the duvet to cover to both of you and wrapped his arms around you. He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling his face into your hair and taking a deep breath.

You could very easily fall asleep listening to Chris’ steady heartbeat, but even though your body has been fully sated, your mind was still running. Even though you had done nothing but wait around, being back in this environment felt exhilarating, it made you miss work for the first time in a while.

Lifting your head so you could look at Chris, you studied him silently for a few moments. He seemed like a completely different man, all the weight was off his shoulders and he just looked so free. You felt a wave of envy, you wanted that feeling.

“What are you thinking?” He hummed, his fingers lazily running up and down the column of your spine.

“That I’m so goddamn proud of you for facing all your demons,” you say making a bashful smile grow on his face “and it got me thinking that I want to go back to work”

His smile faulted for a second, his brows creasing in concern as he shifted beneath you “Are you sure?”

You nodded “Yeah, not straight away, there’s things I need to do first but I want to start that process” you admit your gaze dipping for a second before meeting his once more.

“And what are the things you need to do?” he breathed out, his heart beating heavily in his chest beneath you.

“I don’t know exactly, I’d have to talk to Sally to work it all out, but I need some sense of closure with my father, I can’t go back to work without it, whether it be we manage to work things out, come to some kind of arrangement or truce or…” you say taking a deep breath “or I cut ties completely”

Out of those three options you weren’t sure which of them you wanted. Your father had completely betrayed your trust, showing his true colours. He had been the root cause of so much of your trauma, there was no way things could just go back to normal.

But the idea of cutting all ties with him. Losing the last remaining family member you had, it caused a painful pang in your chest. Just the thought of it made you feel incredibly lonely. If your grandparents were still around maybe it would feel different, you would still have someone.

Realistically though, you couldn’t see how you could reach a truce. Even if your father apologised and swore to never do anything like this again, you wouldn’t be able to trust him, not completely. You’d be looking over your shoulder and just waiting. Just the thought of it all was enough to make your head hurt.

You feel Chris take a deep breath, his eyes scanning your face. You could see him trying to process and work out what he was going to say. He finally let out a deep sigh, his hand moving to cup your cheek.

“Whatever you decide, I’ll be right there beside you, supporting you all the way” he promises.

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