#hwang hyunjin x y/v

[thefantasyden]

The Art of Resistance

Pairing: Hyunjin + F Reader

Genre: Angst, Slow Burn, Smut, Fluff.

Warnings: tension between exes, friends/exes to lovers, best friend Han, some arguing, teasing, unprotected sex, confessions of love, tender sex, hints of dirty talk, angry sex but not really.

Word Count: 5078

Synopsis: You and Hyunjin had already burned each other once. When Hyunjin gets a girlfriend, old feelings rear their ugly head, and you're forced to face the undeniable truth: He was never yours. Maybe he never would be.

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He was hesitant.

You had never known Hyunjin to be hesitant.

The Hyunjin you knew was always so sure of what he wanted. His touches may have been rushed and needy, but they were always firm in that he knew you were what he needed, and he had never felt an ounce of shame or fear in showing it.

But here he was. Sat 6 feet across from you as you watched him hesitate to put his arm around her shoulders as if he feared he may be burned by the action. Watching it unfold before your eyes felt wrong. He seemed so unstable and unsure in that moment that you almost swear it couldn't be your Hyunjin in that seat.

Truthfully, he wasn't your Hyunjin. Officially, he had never been your Hyunjin to begin with. You knew this. Your fear of commitment had blocked his path every time he had attempted to take what you had to a different place, and you could admit that. But he was yours in every way that mattered. He was yours at 2am when his panting filled your room and his lips locked with yours. He was yours in the afternoons when every stroke of his paintbrush was fueled by thoughts of you. He was yours deep within his heart when he diligently taped over the cracks you'd created because he thought having you in pieces was better than not having you at all.

She was nice enough. Small, gentle, and polite when she spoke. She was so vastly different from you. You who never feared taking up space. You who never fussed over the palatability of your words. You who consumed Hyunjins every waking thought with no regard to how desperately he was trying to distract himself by diving into everything that opposed you. She was nice enough, but she wasn't you.

"Isn't she a peach." Your voice rings like a bell in Hyunjins ears, his eyes locking on your face as you sink into one of the chairs placed to his left, your legs crossing as you sipped at your coffee Your tone was anything but genuine, a look of annoyance creasing your eyebrows where they furrowed.

"She's sweet. Pretty, too." He can't make eye contact when he speaks. He was still too weak for that, fully aware that your eyes were his biggest weakness. If he let his thoughts stray to the way they once sparkled when you looked at him, he wasn't sure he'd ever make it back.

You push the feeling of your heart being torn into by some unforgiving creature down to the pit of your stomach where it settles like sediment at the bottom of a murky river and purse your lips for only a moment before willing your face back to its neutral look of disinterest.

"You must really like her." You study his face while he formulates a response. He could never lie to you even on his worst days, and the brief knitting of his brows and subtle scrunch of his nose was telling enough on their own.

"She's nice..." There's nothing more for him to say, sure that the more he tried, the more he would be feeding in to the intention behind your question. He was determined not to do that anymore, even if it caused the strongest ache of despair to pulse in his chest.

It's as though he can't breathe when you walk away from him with little acknowledgement other than the soft nod of your head without a single hint of emotion to clue him into your thoughts. Any air he can manage stings at his lungs as his mind becomes a tangle of webs running circles which always lead back to you, even as the woman he's convinced everyone he has fallen for slips herself back into his arms with a warm smile on her face. All he can think is of how painfully different she was to the person who has brought him comfort for so long.

It's strange for you not to speak. Weeks pass with little more than "Are you okay?" From him to you even when you're sat on the couch of his dorm right in front of him, Han's arms wrapped around you as you feigned interest in the series he had been so eager to show you. You almost feel ashamed for depriving your devoted best friend of your full attention, but you're helpless as your mind wanders to a deep place within you that yearns for it to be Hyunjins arms that wrap delicately around your waist. The tension was thick and suffocating, and it seemed your dearest friend was the only one who was blissfully unaware of its weight.

"Hello? Baby, are you even listening to me." Jisungs voice calls to you through your cloudy thoughts, and you finally snap back to reality, humming a quiet apology to him.

"Sorry baby. What were you saying?" You almost think you see a look of disgust playing on Hyunjins face in your peripheral at the use of the pet name, however it's quickly dismissed as nothing more than wishful thinking.

"Channie, Changbin, and Hyunjin are gonna join us for dinner on Friday! Changbin is really excited about the long islands." The sweet man's voice echoes around your head as you fight to keep your attention on him, grateful for the break in conversation that you're offered when Chris starts shouting to him from the bathroom about the mess he continually left with his hair products. You're clear enough to spare a thought for the messiness of your friend and how endearing you found it, briefly noting your appreciation for the man who matched your chaos as you quietly make your way to the kitchen unnoticed, carefully avoiding any contact as you slink past Hyunjin to escape the unbearable proximity.

Friday sneaks up on you all too quickly, and you're packed into a booth with the four boys as Changbin rambles about how good the drinks are, paying no mind to the conversation as you study Hyunjins face, his eyes locked on his phone. You knew his expressions far too well to miss the frustration gracing his striking features, his bottom lip occasionally pulled between his teeth as the faintest sigh sounds through his nose.

"Hey, do you guys remember that one time we went to the river? The water balloon fight?"

The question holds thickly in the air and Hyunjins fingers grip his phone tighter, his eyes meeting yours as you acknowledge the memory that had caught you both by surprise.

You couldn't forget that day if you tried. You were freshly 18, sneaking around with the boys when they were just bright-eyed trainees. That day was one of the few fond memories you shared from the short time Hyunjin had truly been yours and the mint shampoo he used to use is almost too real to you as you're flooded with a confusing mixture of yearning and pain, the image of young Hyunjin laughing as you hid behind a tree, causing your chest to constrict with emotions you had spent years learning to crush into a box.

You're snapped back into focus by Changbin's warm laughter, half heartedly smiling along as the men shared their fondest moments. It feels like it goes on forever before you hear Chris speaking, unaware of the silence that follows.

"How's the girlfriend, Hyunjinnie?"

Jisung and Changbin share a look, and the warmth of your friends hand searching for yours under the table is a welcome anchor which you grip with a strength that you're sure you'll have to apologise for later, the silence almost deafening in spite of the bustling atmosphere of the world moving around your table.

"Yeah... she's... good. She's doing good." An uncomfortable laugh follows the response, and you don't attempt to hold back the astonished laugh that leaves you, the 3 drinks you'd downed at Changbins request having lowered your inhibitions just enough to loosen whatever filter you may have relied on if you'd been completely sober.

"You should have invited her, Hyune. She could be my new bestie." You practically sing the words, your voice holding a sickening sweetness that somehow only Jisung and Hyunjin catch, his eyes boring into yours as if the challenge you.

"I think she's probably too nice for you."

To anyone else, it would sound like a joke. It would just be playful banter between oldest friends. Unfortunately, you knew there was a specific kind of venom lacing those words that was reserved for only you.

It's the first time you've found yourself at a loss for words around him. At any other time, you would have found some variant of a witty response or backhanded compliment to cushion the blow, and you'd have recovered in mere seconds. You're almost embarrassed by the ferocity with which such simple words were currently burrowing their way into your stomach to settle in every deep dark crevice of your being.

You stifle your self-pity with another round of drinks and find yourself graced with a welcome numbness that leads to a complete lack of hesitation on your part when Chris suggest you spend the night at their dorm, his concern for your safety having you in immediate agreement. It's not a shock that their are no objections and Hyunjin is grateful that he has been spared the task of inviting you himself, having long accepted that his own concern will always outweigh any rational thinking he may subject himself to.

You've sobered up ever so slightly by the time you're stumbling through the door to the dorm, Changbin glued to your hip as your giggle about something only the two of you were clued in to, the remnants of that joy following you through the rest of your evening as if blanketing your brain in a way that would finally offer you some semblance of peace from your usual pining.

Even the deepest of joys can't last a lifetime, however, and you're forced to remember that fact when you're sitting on the kitchen counter with a mouthful of ice cream, your one vice interrupting your silent musings with the same light footsteps that you'd memorised with frightening detail.

"I didn't know you were up."

There's no distain in his tone like you might have expected. There's barely an ounce of disinterest. He's almost... warm, with something akin to worry tinting the tips of his words.

"Well, I am." You shoot back blankly, fixated on your spoon as it dug senselessly into the tub you were holding.

"You know... it's a shame about your girlfriend..." A strange sense of confidence fills you, and you finally dare to look up, breath hitching in your throat for just a second as you take in the sight of Hyunjins messy hair and his plump lips, his eyes heavy from sleep. It was hard to think he could be anything but an angel when he was the picture of beauty. "I miss you sometimes."

He doesn't miss the twinge of honey dripping from your words, a faint smile tugging the corner of your lips.

"Don't..."

"Sorry, baby. You're right." You hum to yourself, tucking the lid back onto your tub and pushing away from the counter, cracking the freezer open to hide the evidence of your late night affair. "I shouldn't be so quick to confess things like this, should I."

Hyunjin can't sleep that night. He can't sleep most nights when he's fixated on you. Did you really miss him? He knows better than to think you were just playing with him. You act tough and heartless, but he's seen you with all of the boys. He's seen the way you jump to help when one of them needs you. He's seen you lay on the ground to avoid scaring stray cats. Hyunjin knows your heart as much as you try to hide it from him. He spends hours hunched over his sketchbook, and he doesn't realise how early it's gotten until he hears you leaving at 6 am, your boots thumping against the floors. He would never understand why things had to be so complicated.

None of the boys see you for a week and a half after that. Even Jisung can't get you to come see him for more than a moment. The running excuse is that you're busy with work, and it's a pathetic attempt at a lie when there's never been a day throughout your friendship that you weren't willing to drop everything to see your favourite boys.

This is the longest Hyunjin has ever gone without speaking to you, and the ache in his chest is constant and burning. You'd been one of the most consistent parts of his life all these years in spite of how messy your relationship was, and it was to the point where he couldn't remember life without you. He couldn't even bear to think of it. The way he needed you was something that was embedded in his soul at this point. It was instinctual, altering him on a chemical level and he wanted to hate it almost as much as he wanted you.

There's a loud knock at your door that startles you out of your self pitying daydreams from where you've been nesting on your couch, nursing your disheveled feelings. It doesn't prompt movement from you until you hear it a second time, quieter than the last. You still don't open the door, however. Not until your phone lights up with a 3 word request from the person you'd least expect.

"Hyunjin?" You only slightly open the door, but he doesn't falter as he pushes past you and into your living room. His face is flushed, and his hair is messy, yet you still think he looks like the product of some divine intervention.

"Why are you doing this?" His voice cracks briefly, and his eyes are searching yours for some sign of understanding, groaning when he can't find what he's looking for. He's fueled entirely by repressed emotions when he reaches out to grab your face, his lips connecting with your own in a bold kiss that knocks the breath from your lungs, your body being pressed back against the door as you fail to return Hyunjins passion, frozen by your pulsing confusion.

"I broke up with her."

You blink back at him, your face remaining blank as you process what he's said. You don't want to believe that it had anything to do with you, unable to handle the idea of getting your hopes up only for them to be crushed again.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"No you're not! Do you even know how fucking unfair this is?! I was trying so hard to get over you!"

The words set something alight within you and you're pulling him closer by his belt to plant a kiss that could rival the previous, his hands sinking in to the flesh of your hips. He can't get close enough to you, but his body pressed flush against your own would have to suffice as you force his coat off and his hands slip under your shirt to wrap around your back.

Every touch is the product of years of pent-up anger and confusion, your mouths only parting briefly as you stumble down the hall toward your bedroom. Your skin burns as he moves from your mouth to your neck, his teeth nipping painfully at the skin as if it was his life's mission to mark you, itching to claim you in the only way he thought you might allow.

"You're gonna kill me. God. Do you know what you've done to me?"

His teeth trail along your shoulder, his fingers tugging at your shirt until you help him remove it, his thoughts interrupted by the sight of your unmarked body bare in front of him. He's not sure where to begin with the sheer volume of things he wants to do with you.

"I haven't done a fucking thing." You spit the words out, aggressively reconnecting your lips with his own while he lays your body back against your bed, fumbling as he unbutton his jeans and attempts to kick them off with about as much grace as Bambi. You're doing you both a favor when you take his distraction as an opportunity to slip your shorts off, reveling in the hungry look on his face when he finally lays eyes on your uncovered pussy. He can't think about trying to get his underwear off, choosing only to push them down just enough to free his aching cock. He'd usually take his time with you, always ensuring you were ready for him, but there wasn't time for that now. It had been so long without you that he was on the edge of losing his mind if he didn't have you.

Your hips press up toward him, and he locks his hands under your thighs, pressing them up toward you as he takes your desperation as an invitation, rutting his cock along your slit just enough to cover it in your fluids for a superficial attempt at easing the burn as he plunges into you, watching your pussy stretch to accommodate him as he inches the entire length of his cock inside of you. He should be concerned by the wave of feelings that crash over him. He shouldn't feel so at home in your bed and he shouldn't feel like he was finally able to breathe with his throbbing cock sheathed deep inside your dripping cunt, but he did. The small amount of shame and guilt he might have felt about the circumstances of your reunion is swept out of his mind the second he hears your sweet, airy moans.

Your nails are digging into his back, desperately trying to pull him closer to you as he begins thrusting into you slow and forceful, tip brushing against your gspot with every movement as your thighs are pressed closer to your chest. He ignores your quiet pleas for him, fixated on where you're connected. There wasn't a single thought running through his mind that wasn't about claiming you. Even if he couldn't have you in the way he so deeply craved, he was determined to make sure your body would only ever be satisfied with him.

"You drive me insane. You know that?" He whispers to you, dropping your thighs in favor of planting his hands beside your torso, taking in the look of pleasure on your face. You attempt to hide yourself under your arms, and he immediately grabs at your wrists, pinning them beside your head as his hips speed up, fucking into you like he had something to prove.

"You've fucking ruined me. How am I supposed to move on when I've seen you like this?"

He pauses, pulling out to manhandle you on to all fours, your ass in the air captivating him as he presses into you again, gripping your hips as his own snap into you, burying his cock to the hilt repeatedly, your face smothered into the pillows as you do your best to cover your moans. He won't have it. His hand finds your hair, and his fingers tug at the strands, forcing your head to the side so that he can hear the beautiful whines and whimpers that flow from you like his favourite melody.

You've never finished just from his cock before, but the way you clench rapidly around him has him convinced he can make it happen and when he sees tears stinging in your eyes, he knows he can. The filthy sounds of your dripping cunt consume him as his cock is swallowed by your walls, your moans becoming choked out breaths as your cunt grips him almost painfully, spasming around him.

He carefully rolls his hips into yours to help your ride out your high, and once he's sure you're finished, he's pressing the full force of his body against yours, pinning you to the mattress as he uses your overstimulated cunt to push himself over the edge, barely able to pull out successfully before he's painting your ass with thick ropes of white, his vision blurring and his ears ringing with the intensity of his orgasm.

It takes him a few minutes to find the strength to roll off of you, his mind just clear enough for him to think to grab a handful of tissues from your bedside table to clean you off with before he was settling into your sheets beside you. He'd almost forgotten how familiar your home was. The scent of your laundry detergent, the plush toys that littered your bed. It's all a painful reminder of what he almost had. What he's never quite been able to call his.

"I'm sorry..." Your words are mumbled between sniffles as the dam of emotions you've both been nursing for years finally comes crashing down, and he's reaching for your hand, carefully intertwining your fingers. It's unclear to him whether the action was to settle you or himself.

"What do you want from me?" He sounds hurt. The pain he's been feeling is clear as ever, and you can't stop the tears from flowing, turning on to your side to face away from him as you sobbed. He couldn't handle it, wrapping himself around you and holding you as close as he could, his own tears staining his skin as he pressed soft kisses to the back of your head.

"All I've ever wanted was you."

He's about to question you when you turn in his grasp, finally meeting his eyes. His heart breaks at the evidence of your own heartache, and he wants nothing more than to take it all away from you.

"I'm scared, Hyunjin. We've been here before. We ruined it." You sniffle again, and he instinctively reaches up to wipe your tears with his thumb, a frown painting his features as he allowed you to feel your feelings.

"I can't lose you."

He breaks. The tears are flowing between you, and he's holding your head against his shoulder as you bawl, quietly whispering that you're okay and that he's there. Through all the years of chaos, he had never once thought about leaving you. He couldn't. You were the living embodiment of everything pure and meaningful to him.

"Baby." He whispers, hand sneaking under your chin to tilt your head up so he can meet your gaze. "You won't lose me. You can't." He pauses for a moment, debating with himself over his next words. He has his own fears about being so vulnerable, but in the safety of your room, he's sure he can find the confidence to be honest with you.

"I think... I think it was always supposed to be us. I know that I was made to exist with you. And if somehow we were only made to crash and burn, then that's exactly how I want to go down."

There's no way for you to respond that would do him justice, and you have to opt for your lips meeting his, pouring as much passion into the kiss as you could and hoping he could feel it too.

He could. He always does. He's holding your cheek, thumb rubbing circles on your skin as he kisses you back with a hint of desperation, pushing you just a little so that he's leaning over you now, your bodies never disconnecting, even when you're panting for breath. You're not so worried about suffocating when his tongue plays at your lips, and you welcome the intrusion as it mingles with your own, your combined spit coating your lips as you try feverishly to consume each other in every way humanly possible.

The feeling of him shifting to his rightful place between your legs is another much needed sensation, and you wrap them around him as if to trap him there, scared you might wake up from the dream you were experiencing.

"Baby." He pulls away from you and presses feather light kisses to your neck as he whispers. "Can I taste you? Need to show you how much I want you."

Words won't make their way from your lips, fearing your voice might crack. You nod eagerly, tugging at his hair slightly to convey just how much you needed him.

There's no second thoughts. Nothing could stop him as he moved carefully until he was lying on his stomach, arms wrapped around your thighs as he tentatively licks a firm strip along your slit. He'd almost forgotten how sinfully good you tasted. It was like an addiction for him and once he started, there was no chance of him stopping.

He laps at your clit for a while, playing with the pressure and alternating with sucking gently at the bundle of nerves. He can feel every new wave of arousal dripping from your already soaked cunt. The delicious sounds you make spur him on, a finger teasing at your entrance as his tongue dips down to drink you straight from the source, a growl sounding in his throat as the taste of you encompasses his senses, surrounding him from every angle.

You're begging him for more before he finally presses his finger inside of you, the rigid feeling of your walls becoming accustomed to him lulling him into a deeper sense of comfort. It was something spiritual to have you like this for him. The feeling of peace and pride that coursed through him made him feel as if the entire purpose of his creation was to worship you.

He knows one finger isn't enough, and he has to place an arm over your hips to hold you down, slowly easing a second finger inside of you. There's nothing he loves more than the way you plead for him, whining as his tongue resumes its efforts on your clit, circling the bud and sucking firmly as his fingers massage your gspot, your walls clenching around him as he pushed you toward your second orgasm.

You can't think, overwhelmed by the flames of pleasure lapping at your skin as you tried foolishly to fight back your high, practically screaming his name as it all came crashing down on you, your cunt squeezing his fingers and making it difficult for him to continue, choosing to use his other hand to rub your clit and ensure you got the full force of the pleasure he was offering you.

You swear you've been given a glimpse of heaven. Your hands are grabbing at him, needing him to soothe your overwhelm, which he is equally as eager to do, kisses planting across your cheeks and mouth. His body is flush with yours, and his hands are smoothing across your arms and thighs, taking in how soft your skin was under his touch.

"Hyune. Please."

He knows what you're asking for. He always knows exactly what you need and when you're so sweet beneath him, asking so politely for him, he can't deny you.

"Okay baby. You're okay."

He's careful this time, taking it slow as he nudges his cock into your aching entrance, his fingers lacing with yours where he presses your hands into the mattress. His touch is gentle, and he's pouring every ounce of his love into you, hips grinding lazily against you as he stimulates your gspot. The way you stare up at him with wide eyes and your mouth open slightly has his heart fluttering, and he needs to kiss you again, groaning into your mouth as your tongues meet, your own sounds swallowed by his needy kisses as his thrust pick up speed, an arm sliding under your waist allowing him to tilt your hips up, his rhythm stuttering when you gasp at the new position. You felt so full and so hungry for anything he could give you. You needed to be consumed by him.

"I love you." He whispers against your lips and your cunt squeezes him in response, your eyes briefly searching his for any sign of hesitation before you return his sentiment, whispering your declarations of love against his mouth like a prayer that only he could understand.

The two of you have never made love like this, and he never wants it to stop but the way you grip him has him dangerously close to the edge and there's nothing he can do to stop himself from letting go when you start begging him to fill you. Your words are almost incoherent, and you look like you're going to start sobbing if he says no. He wants nothing more than to make you feel good. He wants to give you everything you could ever ask for and show how devoted he was to you. To his soul mate.

"Gonna fill you, baby. Gonna claim you."

The possessive statement combined with your overstimulation has you cumming on his cock before you can even realise, the throb of your cunt milking his cock as spurts of his cum fill you to the point where it's overflowing around Hyunjins length.

He fucks you through it until it's painful for him and even then, he can't bring himself to pull out, instead scooping you into his arms so that he can hold you tight to his chest, your heartbeats matching rhythm as your breath syncs and for the first time in a long time, everything feels right. There's nothing but love between you, and it feels like everything has finally fallen into place as you drift off into the sweetest dreams.

You're both MIA for 2 days, hidden away in your apartment getting reacquainted with each other in your best attempt to make up for lost time. It's not until Chris shows up at your door with Jisung, only intending to check in on you when they see him Hyunjin walking out of your bathroom in a towel and finally connect the dots.

It's no surprise when they force you to let them in, grilling you both for every detail, Jisung squealing in delight when you finally get to telling them that you were together again. The surprise comes later when they tell you that they've all been rooting for you the entire time because you were the only two people in the world blind enough to miss the obvious feelings you'd both been harbouring.

#hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin fic #hyunjin x y.n #hyunjin x reader #stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids hyunjin smut #stray kids hwang hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin x y/v #hyunjin x you #hyunjin fluff #hwang hyunjin fluff #stray kids hyunjin fluff

[lxverss]

⸻ ꜰᴇᴀᴛʜᴇʀʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏᴜ��ʜᴇꜱ | hhj

✰ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: brothers bsf!h.hyunjin x fem!reader

✰ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: smut, friends to lovers (?), mutual pining, hyunjin is a perv, reader is a tease

✰ ᴡᴄ: 2.5k

✰ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: smut, drunk sex, kinda? rough sex, swearing, lots of sexual tension, male masturbation, oral (f. recieving), lots of dirty talk, p in v, unprotected sex (don't be stupid like them), creampie, cum eating, hair pulling, a bit of fluff at the end (lmk if I missed anything!)

this fic is strictly 18+ and has sexual themes which are not suited for a minor. Minors/ageless blogs will be blocked immediately upon interaction.

You were a typical broke college student. But unlike most of your friends, you had your own apartment. Mostly because you'd rather pay the bills than share your precious home with someone else.

Despite that, hwang hyunjin, your brother's best friend and him spent most of their times in your home. Your brother said it was because he didn't want his dear sister to feel alone. He was, indeed quite overprotective of you. Could you blame him? Boys would most certainly drool over you wherever you went. No harm in protecting his innocent little sister from those lust driven boys, is there?

Back to the present, you invited them over for tonight to celebrate finishing your second semester. You also invited your close friend Felix, one of your only male friends your brother trusted. You heard the doorbell ring right as you were done preparing snacks and drinks. "Coming!" You yelled from the kitchen loud enough for them to hear. You hastily made your way towards the front door, checking through the peephole. It was none other than hwang hyunjin himself.

You let him in, asking him where your brother was. "Well.. about that.." he started speaking, and you already knew where this was going. "...he can't make it because something came up at work" he continued, scratching his neck nervously waiting for your response. You sighed, kind of expecting this. "Oh well, I guess he can't even make time for his own sister for one fucking evening" you said, clearly pissed. You both then made your way to your living room, and he made himself comfortable on your couch.

You went over to your kitchen to bring the snacks and drinks you prepared. You made your way over back to your living room, seeing hyunjin has already put on a show for himself to watch. "Want some?" You said, putting down the bowl of popcorn on your coffee table. He gave you a small smile and a nod as he reached for the bowl of popcorn. You made yourself comfortable sitting next to him on the couch.

Hyunjin was nervous. That short little dress you wore tonight reached your mid thigh. Your cleavage was on full display for only him to see. And when you bent down to grab some of the popcorn, he could clearly see your breasts. It drove him crazy everytime your hand brushed his when you both were reaching for the popcorn at the same time.

You suddenly got a notification on your phone, and you jumped a little in surprise. 'So fucking cute' he thought to himself. You opened your phone, only for your expression to drop.

lix 🐣 : sorry y/n, my girlfriend got sick and I can't make it tonight :(

lix 🐣 : I swear I'll make it up to you soon!!

You sighed, not being able to stay mad at him for his valid reason of not being able to make it. You texted him back, saying he should take care of his girlfriend and that you hope she gets better soon. "What's wrong?", Asked hyunjin with a confused expression. "Nothing... Lix won't be able to make it because his girlfriend's sick." You sighed yet again. "Guess it'll be just us tonight then" he said with a smirk. "Oh please." You rolled your eyes, focusing back on the movie but still smiling widely at his flirtatious remark. He only chuckled.

Despite seeming confident, he was internally screaming. Because not only was he gonna be spending time with you alone, in your house, but to make it worse he had been staring at your thighs and boobs this whole time instead of focusing on the movie and it took a toll on his newly formed erection. He was growing harder by the second, his thoughts only engulfed by your presence. He had to grab a fluffy pillow and put it over his erection, not wanting to give away his perverted antics. Although he was imagining it was you grazing your slick pussy over his cock instead of that pillow.

His mind was growing fuzzier by the second, and he had to avoid your gaze everytime you made a comment about the movie he wasn't even paying attention at. He was solely focused on the way your breasts bounced everytime you sat back down after grabbing a popcorn. He focused on your bare thighs, and your flimsy little dress riding them up as you put your right leg over the other. His gaze dropped to your fine legs, a silver anklet hanging from your right foot. He glanced back up at your breasts, his gaze slowly going up. They stopped at your collarbones, seeing a golden necklace adorning your neck. It was the one your brother gave you for your 18th birthday. Oh how he thought you were the most stunning woman on earth.

You noticed his lustful gaze on you, and the way he was clutching onto his pillow everytime you brushed your hand against his. You were loving every fucking bit of it. "Want a drink?" You playfully said, and he immediately knew you meant alcohol. "Sure" he said with a small smile.

You got up to make your way over to the kitchen, your dress moving from side to side as you swayed your hips on purpose. It was almost visible that you had no underwear on whatsoever and he could see that. He clutched his pillow tighter as he slid his hand down his pants to rub his now fully hardened cock. He moaned softly and he felt like a disgusting pig for even thinking of you like that.

You came back with a bottle of wine and two shot glasses. You sat back down and popped the bottle open, filling both your shot glasses with a generous amount. "Cheers!" He exclaimed as you both picked up your shot glass only to down it all at once. You both had a few shots, and he was a bit more drunk than you.

You both resumed watching the movie that was currently playing only to see a sexual scene unfold. His eyes grew wide in shock, seeing the protagonist heavily and lustfully making out with the female lead. It progressively grew worse and so did his boner. As if it couldn't get any worse or better, they started stripping and immediately hyunjin excused himself to the bathroom. You turned it off, flustered from the unexpected sexual scene.

Hyunjin shut the bathroom door behind him and leaned against it. He slowly reached for the zipper and unzipped his pants. He pulled his pants down along with his boxers and started stroking his fully hard dick. He moaned a softly, not wanting you to hear him. As he was stroking his cock, he only thought about you and how stunning you looked tonight. Your smell, your gaze, your smile, the flimsy dress you wore to tease him, and god everything about you was driving him fully insane. It didn't take him too long to cum, spurting it all over his hand.

After cleaning up, he came back and saw you scrolling through your phone on the couch. "Are you okay?" You said, glancing up at him with your big doe eyes. "What do you mean?" He said, in panic. Could you have caught on? Did you hear him masturbating? No. No way. He was as quiet as he possibly could be.

You motioned for him to sit next to you on the couch. He took baby steps towards you, and hesitantly sat down on the couch. "I'm not stupid you know" you said, staring at him with a teasing expression. His heart dropped to his stomach. This had answered all his questions.

"I see the way you look at me, hyunjin" you said, bringing a hand up to his face. He leaned into your touch, and his gaze went to your lips. You slowly leaned in and he thought you were going in for a kiss. But then, you swerved your head to the side and next to his ear you whispered, "I want you to touch me..". You grabbed his hand and brought it to your thigh, urging him to touch you. His cock jumped at that, and he immediately got hard again. He started to rub circles on your inner thigh, leaning in and pressing his plump lips to your neck. "Just how do you want me to touch you, angel?" He muttered into the crook of your neck and then started leaving featherlight kisses down to your collarbone. "Mmmh⸻ ah!" You whimpered softly which made his cock ache in the confines of his tight pants.

He pulled away at your lack of response and grabbed your jaw, "answer the question baby" he said with the most fierce gaze that made your pussy drool. "I-I want you to touch me down there.." you whined and he chuckled raspily. "Yeah? Will you be a good girl for me and take my fingers?" You nodded frantically in his hold. He brushed his hand over your clit and put slight pressure onto it which made you whine against him. He brought his finger down to your folds and gathered your juices to spread them on your clit. To which you grabbed his biceps and moaned loudly. He removed his fingers and started licking his fingers clean. He almost moaned at your taste. "Fuck, you taste so good baby" you whined at the loss of his touch and clenched around nothing. He grabbed your hips and changed your positions so you were laying down.

He forced your legs open and started kissing your inner thighs, leaving a few hickeys. He blowed his hot breath onto your clit and you squirmed at that. You tried closing your legs but to no avail, because his grip on you was too tight and would probably leave a mark. He then grabbed your clit with his plump lips and started sucking licking and biting on them. He started rubbing your entrance with his swift fingers, which made you clench and writhe beneath him. With the overwhelming pleasure, you grabbed onto his hair and clutched it tight. He groaned at that, grinding against the couch roughly.

"Fuck baby.. mmh..." He said in between slurping your essence. He then shoved two fingers into your cunt, thrusting them in and out in a swift motion. You moaned uncontrollably at that, and the knot in your stomach snapped. "Fuck!" You yelled as you came down from your high. Hyunjin wiped your release from his chin with the back of his hand. Grinning, he was satisfied with his masterpiece. When he got off the couch, you saw that he also came, staining your couch.

He hastily pulled his pants down along with his boxers and allowed his cock to spring free. Your mouth opened in awe, staring at his big cock. And fuck, was it pretty like him. It was thin but long, and blushing red at the tip. It had just the right amount of veins.

He smirked and got back on top of you. You grabbed his pretty black locks and pulled him in for a heated kiss. The kiss was gentle and loving despite the situation but it quickly grew rough. Teeth clashing, tongues fighting for dominance but obviously he won. Drool dripping down both of your chins, mixing with the sweat on your body. He bit your lip to which you let out a loud whimper and his hands clawed at your breasts. He got up and pulled you to his lap, not breaking the kiss to unzip your dress.

Then he finally pulled away from the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting your lips. His gaze was dreamy and it made your stomach do cartwheels. He then slowly pulled the dress off of you, admiring your naked body. You whimpered and tried to cover yourself but he swiftly grabbed both your wrists with one hand and pinned you down on the couch roughly. His other hand slammed down right beside your head. You yelped in surprise, and your pussy clenched around nothing.

"don't hide yourself from me, darling.." he said in his deep voice. He looked you up and down and bit down on his lips when his gaze fell on your perfect and round tits. "Fuck.." he grabbed onto your breast with one hand, still keeping you pinned with the other. His mouth latched onto your other breast, giving them both full attention. You squirmed under him at that and tried to get yourself out of his grasp but his hold on you was far too tight. You moaned and threw your head back into the pillow which made his cock twitch. He abandoned your breast and went up to sink his teeth into your neck. You nearly screamed and started squirming even more.

He suckled on your neck and left a few hickeys. Then finally let go of your wrists. Your hands latched onto his back and you dug your nails into is back. He whimpered and bit down harder. "Please hyunjin... need you...", You managed to squeak out. He got up, then went in for another kiss, slower this time. He started stroking his cock and rubbed your entrance with the tip. You whimpered into the kiss, hands moving up his back to tangle them in his hair. He slowly pushed into you, bottoming out.

"fuck, fuck, fuck!" You cussed and grabbed his hair tighter. He growled in response, "you're so fucking tight.. fuck!" He was leaking into your tight cunt. He didn't even start moving yet and you were already clenching him like your life depended on it. He started moving at an inhumane pace, chasing his release. You were practically screaming at this point, and you'd most likely get noise complaint from your neighbours but did you care? No. Not one bit. You felt like you were on cloud nine as you both went at it like bunnies. His grip on your hips were bruising and would leave a mark by morning but you didn't care. All you could think about was hyunjin and his pretty cock.

"nghhh- hyunjin! G-gonna cum!" You said in between thrusts and dragged your nails down his back which felt so fucking good. "Fuck! Cum for me baby" he said into the crook of your neck. You released all over his cock, milking him dry. Soon after your release he emptied himself inside of your delicious cunt, his cum oozing out of it. It felt warm against your walls as he thrusted a few more times to keep his cum inside. He pulled out of you shortly, getting up and picking you up along with him.

He kissed along your shoulders and neck, easing the burning bite marks and hickeys adorning your delicious skin. You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, still coming down from your high.

He made his way over to your bathroom and sat you down in your bathtub. He turned on the water with just the right amount of pressure. Before he could walk away to grab a towel to clean you up, you grabbed his neck and pulled him close, "round two?"

A/N: this is my first time posting a fic on Tumblr so hope you enjoyed!! Reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! <3

This is not proofread btw so pls ignore if there are any typos or grammatical errors!

Do not repost, plagiarize or translate my works on other sites. ©lxverss 2023 all rights reserved.

#hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #stray kids #hyunjin x reader smut #hyunjin x female reader #hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader smut

[jiniretss]

Teaser

pairing: idol!hwang hyunjin x fem!reader

warning: !MDNI!, name calling (princess), countless of releasing, p in v, swearing, etc. (Let me know if I missed somethings!)

wc: 751

genre: smut

summary: Hyunjin came back from a wild week of work. Y/n found a picture of him lying on a couch during his week of fashion with Versace. She couldn't help but want him to do that in front of her. But to her thoughts it lead to another with her majoring teasing towards him.

He lied down with his palm on the back of his head, the man spreading with the view expressing into sight of her eyes, as his left arm dangles from the couch. She licked her lips as her hands glided slowly through his tigh. Unzipping his pants as a big bulge appears through the thin boxer he wore. Softly kissing it through the cloth bulge of his, as to lifting up his shirt. "Fuck.." he hissed throwing his head back. Continuing with the kisses traveling towards his lips as she straddled his hips kissing him. Lips moved constantly, opening her mouth as Hyunjin slide his tongue in, only to explore the small mouth that can take his cock so well. Tongue swirling against one another, sucking, touching, and even tugging on one another's tongue made her moan quietly into the kiss. The make out lasted for a bit, with her body moving slowly against the bulge of his still cloth cock, just for his groans come out with pleasure. Hips moving with the slow rythm that Hyunjin hates about her doing. "Don't tease me like that, princess." He groans deeply, still she didn't listen. Still rolling her hips at the speed of slowness, as to Hyunjin groaning in annoyance. "Princess, I told, don't tease me like that." Hyunjin again groans when she chuckled. "How does my handsome boyfriend want it?" She asked with a cocky smile. "I want you to put my dick in." He rumbles. "Nah ah~" She said with a sweet tone before getting off of him. "Where you going?" He asked. "I need to take a shower." Y/n smiled while slowly stripping herself through her way towards the bathroom. "Ughhh, I hate when you do this shit to me." He says in annoyance, only to get up and zipping up his pants.

But Y/n fuck up. She was bend over on the bed with her two hands strapped by Hyunjin's large hands to her back, her hair still damped from the shower while Hyunjin pounds into her pussy while small little gushes come out. "H-Hyun, 'm gonna cum." She moans into the pillow. Y/n knew that Hyunjin was desperate for the craving of his cock inside her little wet core, but she wanted to tease him- although that didn't work. With her body limped on the bed while Hyunjin fucking her hole countless of times as to groaning and moaning her name over and over, only just to have his own words blabbering out of his mouth on how good her pussy felt around his meat. She couldn't take, she screamed for the 5th time on cumming around him. Hyunjin groans and smacks her ass as he did countless of times. Her cheeks were red with big hand prints on each side, but sooner than later, Hyunjin finally released his seed into her. Her body fell, departing from one another. Y/n was beginning to see stars again, cum drove out of her like a river as Hyunjin licked her folds while she fliched at the sudden touch of his tongue. "Did good." He says. "Ughhh, 'm never doing a tease on you again." She says before looking up at hyunjin. "I hate you." She groans, "now help me get on the bed. I can't feel my legs." Hyunjin chuckles at her little grumps, helping her settled in bed. "Keep my cum good in you okay." He winks, only to punch lightly on the chest by his long term girlfriend. "I love you. Sorry I went to rough on you." Hyunjin states. "You all good handsome. And I love you too." Y/n smiles kissing him one last tome before off into slumber mext to him. Hyunjin smiled seeing the view of his beautiful person who made him who he was. "Good night princess. Sleep tight." He kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her waist, closing his eyes, as the night shuts down on him.

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids #hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader smut #hwang hyunjin smut #skz smut #hyunjin has me going feral

[hyunjinspark]

star lost with you | hyunjin au | part 15

pairing: idol! hyunjin x artist! reader

synopsis: working in a quaint little art store, you’ve had the honor of meeting all kinds of people, but you’ve never met somebody like him.

there were many reasons hyunjin returned to his hometown; a getaway from the ephemeral and fast-paced life of the city, so he could fall in love with life again. he thought he was prepared for everything, to study art in the way that he’s always wanted to, but what he didn’t anticipate was meeting you. hwang hyunjin realises that sometimes, the best things in life happen unplanned.

genre: friends to lovers, so much angst, smut, fluff, set in the idolverse, mutual pining, unrequited love, forbidden romance, slowburn (!!!) soulmate au (kind of), star-crossed lovers

warnings: cursing, mature content, fancy drinking, mutual pining, sexual tension, so much angst, kissing, making out, dirty talk, fingering, grinding, dry humping, dom!hyunjin, jealousy, more angst

word count: 35K (ik the wc makes it feel v long but it’s really not that much haha)

a/n: im so excited to be coming back with this huge of a chapter for you guys. so much goes down and im insanely excited to share this next phase of my story with you. its v long so pls get comfortable with a blanket and snacks. I would recommend rereading the last chapter, if you can! thank you for still being here.

i recommend that you can listen to my star lost playlist here!

important: all works are fiction, and do not in any way represent the real personalities or real people, they exist only as faceclaims, and are fictional characters.

masterlist

He had fucked up. Even in the dimly lit drive-in theatre, the guilt on his face was evident. Hyunjin had never looked this devastated.

“I need to talk to you” 

That’s what he had said. The gnawing feeling in your gut got worse. Those words together, in that order, was never a good sign. You knew as much, and you knew whatever he had to tell you was going to be something bad.

“Why did you leave in the middle of the film?” You asked, gaze darting between him and your friends.

Yuqi was staring wide-eyed, watching this unfold, soda cup clutched in her hands, and Felix…he looked beyond irritated.

The movie could still be heard all the way over here. You weren’t too far from the projection screen, and the speakers were right next to you. It was a horrible place to be having this conversation, but you couldn’t wait. 

What was he holding back?

You’d always felt the safest around Hyunjin, but every breath between you right now was uncertain. He was fidgeting, sliding the silver ring off and on his finger.

“I was on my way back to you when—” Hyunjin paused, and the veins in his neck were prominent as he strained to be heard over the movie, “—when Felix found me. He wanted to talk”

“Is Jisung okay?” You blurted, the first thing that came to your mind. He was nervous as hell, and that freaked you out.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened, “No, he’s okay”

“Look. Y/N—“ Felix started, stepping ahead.

“Can I please just talk to Y/N…alone?” Hyunjin interrupted, turning to your friends. His frustration was new to you.

“Of course. Now you wanna talk to her” Felix scoffed, and your gaze drifted to him. You felt so out of the loop and everything was far too dramatic.

A laugh escaped you at the absurdity of this situation, “What is going on? You guys are acting like the world’s fucking ending or something”

“I’m sure it’s not that serious” Yuqi piped in, as a way to comfort you, and Felix glanced at her in disdain.

Hyunjin seemed to be physically struggling between appeasing you and Felix, but he focused his gaze on you.

“It’s not” He reaffirmed, pausing to breathe, “Obviously. It’s not… that serious”

“You sure?” Felix mumbled, taunting the situation, and you’d never known Felix to be the one to poke a bear with a stick. 

His presence only added to your confusion and annoyance. 

What was he doing here? 

Hadn’t he just told you he couldn’t be friends with you anymore? Or whatever the hell he was going to say before you were interrupted?

You glanced at him, and the anger from your previous unresolved conversation surged back, “Lix. Can you just give us a moment alone, please?”

His eyes locked with yours in silent agreement, “Yeah. Sure. Whatever you want, Y/N”

“Yeonjun’s gonna be worried as hell about us” Yuqi spoke in a harsh whisper, grabbing him lightly by the forearm to lead him away, and even though you were embarrassed to have an audience, you were glad she was here.

You’d dragged everyone to the drive-in theatre tonight for the Jaws screening because it had seemed, at the moment, like a good idea. It was supposed to be one of the things on your bucket list. The list Hyunjin and you had made together.

A list of things to make you fall in love with your little town again, and you were only doing all of this because Hyunjin insisted. A silly excuse to be by his side, but it had worked. You’d seen the film they were playing tonight a dozen times, so yeah, you were only doing this so you could spend more time with him. 

Right now though, it didn’t seem like the greatest idea, and more like the culmination of a really bad plan. 

A confrontation you didn’t want. 

Knowing Hyunjin, he hated confrontations too. 

So, there must be a really fucking good reason why he was arguing with your best friend just now.

Felix mumbled something as they walked away, too quiet for you to catch amongst the sounds of the film. 

A cold breeze picked up.

The blinking yellow sign above you was malfunctioning, a buzzing sound escaping it, distracting you momentarily until Hyunjin’s face came into focus again.

He was so apprehensive, a concerned frown on his face. Guilty was not a good look on him.

You swallowed your anxieties, raising your voice louder, “Can you just please tell me what’s going on? You’re kind of freaking me out here”

“Nothing is going on like that, I promise. It’s just…Yongbok found something out and freaked out about it. He was upset at me but—”

“What did he find out?” You were impatient.

Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut, and sighed, “He saw me earlier…at the station”

It took you a second to put two and two together.

“The train station…? What were you doing there?”

His eyes darted around the driveway, realising that this was probably the worst place to be having any kind of conversation. The noise of the horror film had drowned the two of you out.

“Can we go somewhere else? Where it’s quieter, please?” 

You didn’t think you had the patience. Your stomach turned every second that he didn’t tell you what was wrong. 

“Please?” He asked again, “I’ll tell you everything. I just want to get away from here”

What was so complex that he couldn’t just say it now?

It felt like a break-up except you and him weren’t even fucking dating.

Your gaze flickered over his face, frown lines on his forehead that didn’t suit him, and it was only now that you noticed the bags under his eyes. He hadn’t slept last night. He was too young to be so worried.

“Yeah, of course”

There was relief on his face at your agreement, shoulders relaxing, and he looked around.

The theater was in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Where would you even go?

Worry returned to his face, and you sighed, “There’s a loading dock, like a few minutes from here. It’ll be quieter there”

He nodded, following closely behind you as you led the way. 

You focused on the sound of your footsteps in the dirt to not completely freak out.

“Is everything with Chan fine?” You ended up asking.

“Yeah, he’s fine too” He fell quiet again, “I’m sorry you’re missing the movie because of me”

The noises got muffled as you moved further away.

“I really don’t care” You told him, “I’ve seen it before”

“Oh, okay”

You stopped at a chain-link fence, leading to a loading dock for various trucks and vans. It was dead right now, but it'd be brimming with life in the early hours of the day. 

“This is quiet enough”

This was also as far as your patience could go.

Hyunjin nodded, leaning his weight against the fence, running a hand through his hair, “I guess”

Another round of screams from the audience echoed through the area, and you shrugged, “Guess not”

He didn’t seem amused though, “They’re so loud”

“It is the best part of the movie” You told him, “They finally defeat the shark”

Hyunjin nodded, as if he’d forgotten what the movie Jaws was even about, “Right”

He looked like a wounded animal, afraid you’d get mad at him, but you didn’t even understand what you should be mad about. 

His hand peeked out from under his button-up sleeve. You reached forward, not thinking before slipping your fingers between his.

The gesture surprised him, and he glanced up at you with big eyes. He squeezed your hand, finding comfort in it.

“I was buying a ticket back”

You frowned, asking a question you already knew the answer to, “Back to?”

His breaths were shallow, in uneven intervals and his shoulders rose and fell with each anxious inhale and exhale. 

“Seoul” He clarified, biting his bottom lip. 

“Oh. Isn’t…it too early?” 

His gaze fell, eyes avoiding yours, “I was trying to tell you earlier, but I didn’t get the chance”

“Tell me now” You tilt his head up, fingers under his chin so he could look right at you.

He took in another deep breath, eyes staring into yours, “I…have to leave, Y/N. I have to move back to the city”

The words didn’t shock you.

That’s it?

You knew he had to leave. 

A weight lift off your chest at the familiarity of his confession, and you could breathe again, “Yeah. I…know that, Hyunjin”

His eyes widened, “You do?”

Your fingers settled on his jaw, to calm him, “I mean, I know that you can’t stay here forever. You were only here for the summer anyway”

Relief swirled his eyes at your calmness, “Um…yeah”

It felt anticlimactic. This was why he was so nervous, why Felix was so mad, why they were fighting?

You two stood so close, hand-in-hand, and this didn’t even seem like a big deal. Hyunjin wasn’t going to be holed up in this small town forever. Everybody knew it would always be temporary, so what was the drama for?

A breeze blew Hyunjin’s hair in his face, and you tucked the chestnut strands behind his ear, “Would you have to start packing soon?”

With that question, Hyunjin’s eyebrows furrowed again, “I already packed, Y/N”

“Already?” You laughed, there was a whole month left but he was already preparing, “You should’ve told me…I could’ve helped you.”

He frowned, and suddenly your name on his lips felt bitter, “Y/N…” 

Like it took effort to say, and like it broke his heart.

It felt like an apology, but you didn’t know what for.

You squeezed his hand, to let him know he had nothing to be sorry for, “Tell me…”

“No, you don’t understand. I’m — I’m not staying for the rest of the summer anymore”

Your heart squeezed, and suddenly you realised why he was so anxious. 

You needed confirmation, “You’re not?”

“I need to leave” He let out a breath, “Tonight.”

The words hit you like a punch to your gut.

Hyunjin explained further, to make sure you understood, but your head was already spinning, “My train leaves for Seoul… in a few hours” 

Your grip on his hand dropped, and you stopped touching him.

He stared at you for what felt like forever, eyes flickering between yours, “I’m sorry”

He’s sorry?

You had trouble speaking the words, “What? Tonight?”

His eyes were wide at your reaction, and at your tone. He thought you didn’t believe him.

And you didn’t.

Tonight was so soon, and in a few hours was fucking insane.

As you processed his words, the silence stretched for seconds, excruciatingly long.

He felt a stupid need to fill in the void, “My manager’s coming to pick me up. He doesn’t want me to make the journey back alone. He’s worried about a crowd at the station, in case the information leaked—”

Hyunjin kept talking, and explaining, but you’d stopped listening.

What the fuck was he even saying?

All of these technicalities.

You couldn’t even still process what he’d told you.

Yeah, you knew he had to leave but you didn’t think it’d be tonight. 

You didn’t think it’d be right now.

You weren’t prepared.

Each word he spoke was a lightning bolt to your heart, ripping chasms open in the perfect day you’d just had. 

It couldn’t be. You had so much planned with him. You hadn’t even gotten to the good part yet.

The sky lit up in bright white, blinding you.

You hadn’t even told him that you loved him...

The wind picked up, dust blowing into your eyes but you didn’t care. The lightning wasn’t just within you. There was a storm coming.

Hyunjin glanced up at the sky; dark clouds suddenly looming over you, but that was the least of your worries. 

“We should get inside” He realised, reaching for your hand, but you stepped away from him, pulling your hand out of reach.

His eyes were wide at the rejection.

“I’m sorry. You said that you’re leaving in a few hours?” You asked again, hoping this was just a horrible fucking joke, and you heard him wrong.

But he fucking nodded, not saying anything. 

Your stomach was beginning to hurt, a shooting pain through your body, and you felt dizzy.

Bile rose up to your throat at the suddenness of everything, “I don’t understand. You said you didn’t have to go back, not until the end of summer and—”

“I know” He interrupted, “I know that’s what I said, but things changed. The company needs me back, I don’t have much of a choice”

“But what about Kkami…and about the art classes?” Stupid questions, when all you wanted to ask was something else. 

“I canceled the classes yesterday, and Minho said he’ll look after Kkami until my aunt comes back to town”

Of course.

“Oh”

Of course he’d figured everything out. A man as precise as Hyunjin, of course he’d already solved for all the problems you couldn’t even foresee.

But what about you?

Your gaze fell from his, heart falling deep into your gut and maybe that explained the pain in you. You didn’t even know what to say. It was so much information, to process all at once, and pathetically, you mumbled, “I thought I’d have more time with you”

“I know, Y/N. I...thought so too” His voice was too soft, too calm, “But I’m sorry that we don’t”

Was he not affected by this? Why was he so calm?

In a few hours, he would be more than a hundred miles away from you.

That wasn’t okay.

But he seemed perfectly fine right now.

How long had he known this?

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before” He swallowed, and stepped closer. His hands glided up your arms, coming to rest at your shoulders. He squeezed the skin there, and maybe he thought it was comforting, but it just felt suffocating.

Your chest was pounding so hard you could hear your heartbeat in your ears.

You were still confused, so many questions in your head, “But that doesn’t explain why Felix was fighting with you”

Hyunjin sighed, “He…he thought that I wasn’t going to tell you”

There it was.

Your eyes narrowed, darting up to his, a new fear sinking into you, something you hadn’t even considered, “Wait. Were you not?”

His eyes widened, but his voice gave him away, “No. I was going to—”

You took another step back, and he dropped his hands from you.

“You weren’t even going to say goodbye, Hyunjin?”

He hesitated before speaking, “I was”

“When?”

“What?”

“When were you going to tell me? If you’ve already bought a ticket. You’ve already cancelled the classes. You’ve…packed everything. You’ve already given Kkami away. So, when…were you going to tell me?”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

And it was enough.

“You’re fucking kidding me”

“Let me explain, please--”

Another flash lit up the sky.

Thunder ripped through the atmosphere, and the sound startled you both, making you look up.

It wasn’t raining, not yet, but it would soon.

Immediately, you heard scrambling over at the drive-in theatre. All of the people would be exposed to the rain, and now they’d have to pack it up, and leave.

How fitting for a storm to pass through right fucking now.

You looked back at him, because this wasn’t like him.

The Hyunjin you’d come to know…would never blindside you like this.

You stepped further away, your sneakers tripping over the dirt and Hyunjin reached out to steady you, but you ripped your arm back, “You were just going to leave”

“I tried telling you yesterday, in the forest! You were the first person I was going to tell” Hyunjin exclaimed, eyes wide in what you could only recognise as despair.

In the forest, when you’d taken him to see the fireflies. Hyunjin had said he wanted to tell you something. He was trying to tell you this?

Sourness developed in your mouth, “What? Yesterday?”

“But you stopped me. You kissed me, and you said you didn’t want to know”

Your sadness was suddenly replaced by embarrassment, and bitterness.

“So…it’s my fault?”

“What? Of course not. That’s not what I’m saying”

Your emotions were toppling over, and you couldn’t manoeuvre them anymore.

You felt a surge of hopelessness, because he didn’t understand how important this was to you.

How important he was.

“If it was so important, you should have told me anyway! I obviously would have understood, and stopped kissing you. I’m not that dense, or …needy”

Hyunjin’s eyes were wide, like he couldn’t believe you.

“I know that you’re not. Of course, you’re not” He repeated, stepping towards you, “I knew how upset it would make you, and I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t want to ruin the time we had left”

There was no justifiable reason for you to be this sad. He was only going to be a few hours away from here, but you’d dreaded the day he’d leave ever since you met him.

His life in the city was a whirlwind, and he didn’t have time for anything.

How would you ever stay in his life, or keep him in yours?

Your voice was shaky, “I’m not upset at you, Hyunjin”

“Really? Because it looks like you hate me right now” He laughed.

You sighed, looking him in the eye, “Of course not”

“I just don’t understand why I’m the last to know. You said that your manager is coming to pick you up…and you’re worried the information would leak. So does everybody know you’re coming back or something?”

He nodded slightly, as if his answer would hurt you, “The media knows. There’s going to be a crowd at the station, in the city when I get back”

So if you waited a few more hours…the morning papers would have told you anyway.

The thought almost made you want to laugh, or cry.

“We were having such a good time, at the Creek, and…I didn’t want to kill the mood, obviously I was right, because you’re so upset right now”

“Right. I’m sorry for being upset that you’re leaving Hyunjin”

He pulled you towards him, “Stop, please. This is…not how I wanted tonight to go”

“Then how did you want it to go?”

“I wanted to…stay up with you, and talk to you, and listen to you...until I can”

It sounded tempting. You’d do anything to have that.

But he was leaving tonight.

“Do you know when you’ll come back?”

“What?”

“To Daejon. Do you know when you’ll come back?”

He hesitated, “I don’t know. A couple of years, maybe then…”

“So after tonight…you have no idea when we’ll see each other again?”

“Yeah, but…you can visit me in Seoul, right?” He asked, a hopeful lilt to his tone.

Your head was still spinning, “Were you going to stay in touch with me?”

“Yeah. I was going to give you my new number—”

“Your new number?” You were confused.

“I have to change it…every few months. For safety”

Another lightning flash lit up his face, and then the first drops of rain followed. They wet your hair, dripping down your face, masquerading as tears.

“Yeonjun would be wondering where I am”

“What?” Hyunjin asked, but you needed to fixate on something else or you’d go insane.

“I have to tell him” You mumbled, more to yourself, reaching for your phone in your back pocket, but you’d left it back in the truck. A frustrated groan escaped you.

“I can tell him” Hyunjin spoke, immediately, pulling his phone out to text him. You watched as he did so. The bright phone lit up his face, as he typed in a text, but from here, you could see his fingers trembling.

The vendors were rushing to close all the food shops before the rain came in. The sound of people scrambling with their blankets and snacks to get inside. Car doors being shut, and engines being started.

“Please just let me explain, so you can understand what’s going on in my head”

You needed to calm down. This was always going to happen, and you shouldn’t be surprised. You shouldn’t be heartbroken and so fucking weak. 

You nodded, “Go ahead”

He grabbed your hand in urgency but you didn’t stop him, “I knew how upset it would make you, and I’m so fucking sorry. I knew the moment that I told you, it would be real, and is it crazy if I wanted the summer to last longer? I was being selfish and I wasn’t thinking”

You took a deep breath, his words calming you down by the second, “It’s not selfish. I..I’m sorry. I just thought you were hiding it from me, and…I got upset. How long have you known?”

“Barely two days” He admitted, and then, “That’s kind of why I was rushing through your list”

A laugh escaped you, at the lost innocence of that sentence, “What? My list is not… important, Hyunjin”

He frowned, “It was to me…”

The cold water draped over your forehead, dripping down your eyes, tracing your nose, falling into your mouth. You should be sane, and walk out of this storm before you both fell sick. Hyunjin was just watching you, and you think his heart was broken too. For a reason different to yours.

“A few hours…” You realised, and you were already losing time.

He squeezed your hand, “If you would let me, I’d like to spend them with you”

The rain intensified, transforming into a downpour, drowning out the last of his sentence. Everybody must have left the drive-in theater by now and that meant it was just you and him in the middle of this summer storm.

You felt like a broken record, “I wish I knew”

“Why?” He bent down to your height, voice softening, “It…wouldn’t have changed anything”

You took in a deep breath. He was right.

It wouldn’t have changed anything.

His eyes were exploring yours, apologetic, and you could understand what went on in his head. If you could spare Hyunjin the pain of something sad, you would have done the same.

He was getting drenched in the storm, and you’d feel guilty if he fell sick because of you, “Are you okay?” He asked you.

You suddenly felt numb. 

Why shouldn’t you be okay?

“I’ll only be a few hours away from you” He reassured you, and then chuckled softly, “It’s not like I’m moving to another country”

A loud honk pulled you out of the conversation.

Yuqi’s truck was to the side, parked on the dirt road, and Yeonjun was poking his head out of the window, “What the hell are you two still doing out there?”

You looked back at Hyunjin, swallowing, “We should go”

“Come on” He spoke, guiding you towards the car with his hand on your back. You rushed inside, arms around yourself to be warm. He went around the back, getting in through the other side, and he was completely soaked, hair dripping, “Sorry for getting your seats wet, Yuqi”

She told him it was fine, and Yeonjun turned round to ask, “Am I taking you straight home then, Y/N?”

Yuqi gave you a sympathetic look in the rearview mirror. Felix must have told her what the argument had been about.

You glanced at Hyunjin. He thought you were angry at him. Well, you were a bit. But never enough to ignore him like this. This was his last night here. Everything felt so sudden, and rushed, and you weren’t sure you’d even understood it, but you had be mature about this.

“No, I’m…not going home” You told Yeonjun.

Hyunjin raised his eyebrows, as if to ask if you were sure.

He was crazy if he thought you’d let him go without even saying goodbye.

“Can I come to your place?”

He nodded, in a single breath answering, “Of course”

Every second spent arguing over this was one less second with him. Yeonjun drove away from the loading dock, and time was slipping away and you glanced at Hyunjin. He was looking out at the town as it passed by, and he looked so fucking lost…or nostalgic.

Daejon passed by in a blur, as you drove to his house.

It would be selfish of you to think you were the only one affected by this. He was the one who would have to go back the life he’d left behind.

You drove past Aera’s, and Hyunjin’s gaze lingered on it, long after you’d already passed it. The car ride was quiet, other than the music Yuqi was playing, but you’d tuned it out.

Hyunjin’s eyebrows were furrowed as he watched the blur of trees and homes and places you’d come to spend all of your time in this summer. It was like he was trying to take everything in but Yeonjun drove faster than his memories could catch up.

His hand was on his thigh, fingers trembling still, and you don’t know if it was from the cold or if he was scared. 

Your heart squeezed in your chest. 

You reached over without thinking, hand settling over his, and immediately, he was calm.

»»————-

Hyunjin’s room was ripped bare. 

The art had been taken off the walls, the paint canisters had been stashed out of sight, the mattress was naked of the blue sheets and comforter you’d grown to love.

Cardboard boxes lay under his window, taped up and sealed shut.

His art wasn’t decorating the room anymore, instead it lay packed under layers of bubble wrap and paper.

It was strange, because you’d only been here a few times, enough to count on one hand, but it felt like a loss. Empty rooms always made you sad. It signified the end of something.

Yeonjun’s room had stayed empty, and even when he visited home, he’d live out of his suitcase. After all, nobody took the time to hang back picture frames on the walls. 

Your gut tinged with sadness.

Hyunjin stood at the other side of the room, arms crossed, emanating a calm silence.

Your eyes met his, a strange resignation within them. You hugged yourself, arms coming round your body in a comforting embrace. 

The room was far too barren for your liking, but compared to outside, at least it was warm here.

With difficulty you found the words, “How does it feel? To see your room like this?”

He cleared his throat, and his hair was still wet, chestnut strands sticking to his skin, “Honestly?”

“Yeah”

“I don’t feel anything”

Maybe that was the saddest answer you could hear. 

Your indignant look made him clarify further.

His Adam’s apple bobbed before he spoke, “I…I know that’s weird. I thought I’d be sad, but I don’t really feel anything”  

“I get that” You nodded, leaning against the wall, movements mirroring his. 

“You do?” He tilt his head, fiddling with the pendant around his neck.

You did get him, but you can’t seem to elaborate.

After all, you’ve never had to deal with anything of this nature. 

You’ve lived in the same place your whole life. The same room. The same bed. The same view from your window every morning and night.

How could you know what goodbyes felt like?

“I thought I’d be sadder” He continues upon your silence, “I just don’t feel much of anything, and that makes me…feel sad. Shouldn’t I be just a little upset?”

“Maybe you haven’t processed it yet?” You offered.

He shook his head, frown lines on his forehead, “It’s not that”

You couldn’t comprehend what he felt, and all you could do was guess, “Maybe it’s too soon” 

His eyebrows shot up, as if he realised something utterly significant about himself. Yet he didn’t share it with you. He slipped his hands deeper into his pockets, adjusting his posture against the wall.

A black suitcase stood between you, and you wonder what he’d put in it. What was he taking with him? It was strange to imagine that his entire summer here had fit into just those four cardboard boxes. There must have been things he discarded, or gave away.

What did he leave behind?

“So…how will you take all this stuff back?” You asked, gesturing over to the boxes.

“I’m not. I’m just taking my luggage with me” He explained, “I just packed everything else so it’d be easier for my aunt to take care of the house when I’m gone”

When he’s gone.

“That’s thoughtful of you” You smiled, gazing at the other boxes pushed under his bed, “What about your art supplies? Are you taking them too?”

He shook his head, chuckling nervously, “No, I had no space in my bag”

Your eyebrows shot up, “How are you going to paint when you’re in the city then?”

“I doubt I’ll have time at first” He admit.

Your heart clenched. Another loss.

“But…when I do, I’ll just get new supplies” He continued, so simply.

Your eyes narrowed, “Hwang Hyunjin… do you have any idea how expensive art supplies are?”

A hint of a smile appeared on his face, “I know, but I have no choice. There’s an art shop in Hongdae. I’ve passed it a hundred times. I think I’ll finally visit it”

“You’re going to forget all about Aera’s then” You frowned.

He hummed, smiling at you, “I could never”

You smiled, and a comfortable silence fell upon you.

He moved across his room to sit against the desk, “I am kind of sad about putting away all my art though. They’re just going to collect dust forever”

“Maybe you can put them back up when you come back” You suggested.

He nodded, “Right. When I’m back.”

He traced a hand against his empty desk. Just a few days ago, it was full of clutter, flower vases, and pretty candles, and pencils of different sizes. The first night he’d come to Aera’s he’d bought a little canvas and a single pencil from you.

That was so long ago, and you smiled to yourself at the memory.

“You’re really not going to miss home, and your room?” 

“I have something of yours” He interrupted, ignoring your questions entirely.

“Oh…okay” Is all you can seem to muster.

He pulled open the drawers, and you move towards him. He’d cleared out everything from within them too. Including all his paint supplies, his knick-knacks, the hair ties… and that box of condoms you saw once…

Was he leaving that behind?

Or had he packed that too?

Maybe it’d be useful to him in the city.

The thought made you choke up, and you turned away, giving him space to look for whatever he was looking for. 

He finally pulled open the last drawer, and spoke, “I found it when cleaning, and uh, I don’t know how but I forgot to return it,”

You stepped forward to take a glimpse, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

“My sketchbook!” You realised, recognising the torn-up leather cover. 

Pulling it out, you flipped it open, seeing the sketches you made on countless train journeys, “Honestly…I didn’t even know you have this”

Hyunjin laughed, and your gaze darted to his.

It was the first he’d laughed like this since he’d told you he was leaving.

“I promise I didn’t steal it or anything” He admitted, “You never took it back after Felix’s birthday”

“That was ages ago. I guess I have far too many sketchbooks to keep count” You hummed, flipping further through the book, seeing the drawings Hyunjin had filled it with on the journey, when you’d given it to him. You felt him move closer to you, body stopping right behind yours.

You traced your fingers against the ink, trying not to get distracted by his breathing on your neck, “The beach cabin. You drew it”

Hyunjin nodded, looking over your shoulder at the picture, “I did. That was…a good night”

You craned your neck to look at him, a laugh escaping, “Really? I felt kind of bad for dragging you along for that whole trip. Ended up being pretty shitty”

He smiled, eyes flickering over you, “Not all of it”

You flipped to another page, but Hyunjin’s hand reached out to stop you. You looked at him questioningly.

“Uh…you can go through that later. We don’t have much time”

You nodded, keeping it aside. He walked over, sitting on the mattress, and stared out through the window. It was still raining fiercely, a thunderstorm raging outside.

 “If it wasn’t raining, we could have gone stargazing” He realised.

The disappointed in his tone pulled at your heartstrings, “Maybe it’ll pass soon”

He shook his head, “No, I checked — It’s going to be cloudy till noon tomorrow. I’ll already be gone by then”

“Oh”

It was hard to put his words into comprehension. 

He was really going to be gone. 

You’d gotten so used to seeing him all the time, everywhere. He would show up at your job, and he would go around town with you, and a part of you felt like he’d always be here to do that.

After a while, he sighed, “I guess I was looking forward to doing something cool with you…before I have to leave”

You stared at the rain, the droplets trailing down his windowsill, racing to the bottom, “This could be nice too. It hasn’t rained like this in months”

He nodded in silent agreement, and you watched the downpour, quietly, stealing glances at him. There was a sense of awkwardness and emptiness in the air. 

He wasn’t being honest with you about everything, but you didn’t want to push. It felt like he was holding back yet again, and you wish he’d just tell you everything on his mind.

Flashes of lightning lit up his face every few minutes, and he looked out at the dark garden like it held all the answers to life, and the universe. 

“Hyunjin…” You spoke.

He glanced at you, and his eyes looked sad. 

You were counting down the fleeting moments left with him. Was he too?

It broke your heart. Why was he so quiet when you only had a few hours together?

You couldn’t push him, but each second mattered.

So you walked over to him, kneeling on the floor so you could look at him, “What’s wrong?”

His eyes darted between yours, lips parted, as he thought over your question.

“I don’t know” His voice quivered.

You placed a hand on his leg, to ground him, “You wanted me to come over”

He swallowed, “I did”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be alone right now”

“You’re not” You assured him, patting lightly on his knee, “What are you thinking about?”

“Shouldn’t I feel sad?” He asked, “Something has to be wrong with me”

“What do you mean?” You frowned.

“You asked me earlier if I will miss Daejon, but I only feel numb. I cried when I left Seoul, but why do I feel nothing leaving here?”

His words were heavy, and you don’t know if you were qualified to answer him, because you were too emotionally invested in this, and in him.

“Maybe you haven’t processed it yet”

He looked back at the garden, fence, and skies, “Yeah, I can’t believe I’m going to be back in the city tomorrow. It feels like a world apart, and I can’t really grasp leaving this”

“I mean, it is a world apart, Hyunjin”

He looked at you, “I feel like I never got the chance to settle here. It’s been so temporary. I always knew I was only here for a little while, and I can’t get myself to feel sad”

“It’s not like… an obligation, Hyun. I can’t imagine how it feels like to live two places. If you don’t feel a certain way, you can’t force it”

He nodded, quietly staring ahead at his garden.

He was stuck between two places, and two lives. He’d always told you about that. 

Even though he wasn’t sad, he didn’t seem happy either, so you said, “What are you looking forward to the most when you get back?”

“Meeting the guys” He responded, in a heartbeat, and then smiled at his own eagerness, “I’m also excited to just be able to do my job again”

“Yeah?” You asked, taking a seat next to him so you could be level with him, “Do you already have your schedule for the next few weeks?”

He nodded, “Mmh. It’s kind of crazy, but it’ll be nice to be that busy again”

You shifted closer to him, as did he, with the pouring rain in backdrop. It was isolating, but comforting, “What else?”

“Hmm?”

“What else are you excited about?”

Hyunjin’s lips pulled up into a smile, “To step into the dance studio. Man, I’ve missed that more than anything”

You smiled, “Yeah?”

“When I was a trainee, I basically slept there.” He hummed, and despite the obvious hardships he hinted at, his memory came from a place of fondness and comfort.

His eyes crinkled as he remembered something else, “It’s funny. It happened so often. Our manager installed a small bench there, so I could pass out on it, instead of killing my back on the hardwood floor”

“Wow. That’s so nice of him” You smiled, watching his eyes lit up talking about his home.

“I also can’t wait to get back to the recording studio. Chan told me details about the next album. Apparently, he, uh, wants me to have a couple of my own songs on it”

Your eyes widened, “Wait, what do you mean?”

As far as you knew, all of their songs were written by his team members.

“Um” He laughed nervously, crossing his legs, “Like songs I write just by myself, and produce”

“I didn’t know you write songs” You admitted, feeling stupid. Sadness settled in your stomach, as you realised there was so much you still didn’t know much about Hyunjin. 

There was so much you wanted to know, to discover about him. 

Hyunjin laughed, “I try to, I haven’t released my own yet. The guys usually take care of that, so this will be a first…I don’t even know what I’ll write about”

“But…have you written songs before?”

He nodded, “I used to write a lot on tour, but I never really felt confident enough to release them”

Curiosity flooded you, “What kind of things do you write about?”

He laughed, “You’ll be disappointed, it’s kind of cheesy…and mainstream”

“I don’t care”

He smiled, “You’ll be the first to hear if I finish”

“Are you excited to see Chan?”

He laughed, “Insanely. Jisung and Binnie too. I can’t believe I went so long without them. Hopefully they haven’t burnt the dorm down”

He grimaced at the thought, and then laughed, “And Jisung…man, I think I’ll squeeze the life out of him when I see him, and not let go. He’s been through far too much in my absence”

“They must be missing you a lot” You spoke, watching his fond smile. 

You would miss so many moments in his life. 

Crucial moments that would redefine him as a person.

You would miss the excitement in his eyes when he reunited with the boys again. You’d miss the work he would put into the self-composed songs, and the satisfaction of his smile when he finished.

So many little and bigger moments of happiness, the kind of things that make a person. 

The next time you saw him, he’d probably be so different from who he was now. 

You would both have changed as people, grown apart from each other.

But he was smiling at everything he had to look forward to, and that’s all you wanted in the moment. For him to feel happy.

“We still have a few hours left. It’s your last night. Is there anything in particular you wanted to do?”

Hyunjin tilt his head, “I didn’t really plan for anything… I was just hoping you’d spend it with me”

He already seemed so much more relaxed, and you were glad. 

“Do you need help cleaning anything or packing up?”

He shook his head, “I think everything’s done but…we could have drinks together, if you want?”

His last night in town should be memorable.

“That sounds perfect” You smiled, getting off the bed, as you followed Hyunjin back to the kitchen. 

He had changed from his storm-drenched clothes into simple sweatpants, and they fit him well, sitting comfortably on his hips. The hoodie was also simple, and it looked soft enough to touch, like it was made from the finest wool in the country.

“What do you usually like to have, Y/N?” Hyunjin reached up to the cabinets at the very top, his height allowing him to do so with ease, “I know that you liked the rosé when we went to the paint event, and I know that you absolutely hate beer”

You laughed at the memory, jumping up to sit comfortably on the kitchen counter. Hyunjin glanced at you briefly, smiling to himself at the position, and how you’d made yourself at home.

You thought about it, but you weren’t a big cocktail drinker, so you hummed, “I’ll have anything you’ll have”

“You’re easily influenced” He laughed, “What if you hate my taste?”

You smiled at him, swinging your legs gently against the counter, “I trust you”

He made a face, “Now I have to live up to your unrealistically high expectations of me. Isn’t that too much pressure for my last night?”

You threw your hands up in defense, “You’re the one who suggested we have drinks, Hyun”

He smiled, peering at the alcohol he had in his cabinet. There wasn’t too much, since he rarely lived here, and you don’t suppose his aunt was a big drinker.

“Have you ever tried a Dolce Vita?” He asked you, the drink's name slipping from his lips so smoothly, and you guessed it was Italian from his pronunciation, but Hyunjin made it sound so expensive.

“Can’t say that I have” 

He stepped towards you, body touching your legs, but still not close enough, “I think it’s your kind of a drink”

“What makes you say that?” You tilt your head.

He thought over his words, mulling them in his head, “It’s…classy. It’s elegant, and it’s…romantic”

You stilled, watching him describe it.

 “It’s pink, and…it has dark chocolate on top” He continued, and then smiled to himself, “It fits you really well”

You smiled, heat flushing to your chest, and cheeks, “What’s the catch?”

“I don’t have all the ingredients” He spoke, a soft pout on his lips, “But I can make you another drink, that you might like”

“When did you even learn all these recipes? I didn’t know you’re a connoisseur”

He laughed, stepping back towards the cabinet to check the ingredients, “I’m not, but Chan taught me a few. He and Kairi…make their own cocktails a lot”

“I hope I can meet them one day” You spoke.

Hyunjin glanced at you over his shoulder, “You’d love Kairi. She’s…so much like you”

You thought, still swaying your legs, “Does that mean Chan would love me too?”

He chuckled, and his shoulders shook from the action, “He kind of already does”

It was still pouring outside, and you looked at the droplets cascading down the kitchen window. It was kind of nice to be trapped in this house with him. It was a big place too, and it was empty, and just the two of you. It was like you were two kids playing house. 

Hyunjin was fiddling with different liqueurs, and you could hear the clinking of glasses, and spoons as he moved things around on the counter. You would help him if you could, but you had no experience in mixology and he had it handled. It was calming, to listen to the thunder, and just sit here.

“What are you making now, Hyun?” You asked, fiddling with the cuts in your jeans.

“It’s called the Queen of Hearts”

You laughed, “I have never heard of these names. Are they just for rich people…or something?”

He tsked, shaking his head “I’m not that rich, Y/N”

“Statistically speaking, you’re…like in one of the biggest bands in our country” 

He smiled softly at you again, “How do you know that? Did you read about me online?”

“Maybe I did” You flushed, “Sometimes you show up on my Instagram. Your fans are very loyal, you know?”

He laughed, turning around to look at you, and you could see he was shaking a liquid in a glass, “I sure hope you don’t believe everything you see about me though. There’s a lot of false news out there”

“So, what, you haven’t dated like every female pop star in the country?” You teased him, exaggerating.

He rolled his eyes, turning back to the counter, to put the glass down, “Did someone actually say that I did?”

“Of course not” You smiled, “That wouldn’t be a believable rumour”

“You’d be surprised what people believe” He laughed, and then paused to say, “I’ve only ever dated one”

Your eyebrows shot up, “A pop star?”

“Yeah”

You looked at him, and you were so curious suddenly, albeit a lot of it stemmed from envy. Whoever had the honor of dating Hyunjin…did they know how lucky they were?

Was in he love with her?

Was she?

You imagined it in your head — the dates he would go on, and the kind of romantic things he would say. He was already such a nice person to you, and you two were just friends. What would he be like…with the girl that he loves?

A pit of jealousy settled in your stomach, so deep, that it ached.

“So, um, I added less liquor to yours just so you can taste it. If you like it, I can give you some more” He spoke, turning to delicately hand you the wine glass. The drink was the color of champagne. 

You peered at the drink, “What’s in it?”

He tilt his head, thinking, “It’s a bit of gin, wine, and…some lemon juice. For the sweet flavour, I added a syrup to it. It’s dahlia…I think you’ll love that”

You stared at him as he explained it, “You’re kidding me”

You reached for the glass, but he immediately pulled it back before you could.

“Wait! I forgot something”

“What?” You laughed, “What else could possibly be missing? The tears of angels?”

He rolled his eyes, “Ha-ha”

You tried to grab it, “Just give it to me. I’m sure it’s fine”

He shook his head, pulling the drink away from your hold, “No, this is the last drink I’m making you. It has to be perfect”

“It’s also the first drink you’ve made me” You pointed out.

He laughed, holding up a finger, “Give me just one minute. I’ll be back”

He placed the glass back on the countertop, and slipped his shoes on.

“Wait, what?”

“I have to run to the garden for something” He told you over his shoulder.

“But there’s a storm out” You exclaimed, dumbly.

He pulled the hood up, looking back at you as he zipped it up fully, “I’ll be fine”

“Hyunjin, don’t go” You laughed, “I’m sure the drink is fine without it”

He shook his head, and he was already halfway out the door. As soon as he pushed open the wooden door, a gust of wind blew in, bringing with it tiny leaves and some rain. The thunder was so much louder now that the door was open, and Hyunjin ran out, shoes put on halfway, and it was so silly that he was doing all this for just a drink.

You waited with bated breath, but you couldn’t see out into the garden from here, so you had no idea what he was up to.

Minutes passed, and you waited in his kitchen, sat on the countertop.

“Holy shit. It’s fucking pouring!” He yelled, running back inside, and he was completely wet, from head to toe. He slipped off his shoes at the back entrance, walking to you barefoot.

“Oh my god” You mumbled, watching the water drip off him, “I told you it was a bad idea”

His fist was closed around something, and you wonder what he got from the garden.

He grabbed your wine glass, and dropped something in it, “You’ll change your mind after you try this”

He then smiled proudly, handing it to you.

Your eyes widened, as you peered into the glass. 

A pretty flower floated on top of the gin, its pink petals wet from the liquid, giving the entire drink an illusion of a pastel paint.

“A flower?” You asked, giggling in disbelief.

“It’s edible” He explained, smiling still, “It’s perfect for you”

“Did you get one for yourself too?”

“Mmh” He nodded, showing you his. The flower floated on the top beautifully, dissolving partially into the liquid. Your drinks looked beautiful together, ethereal and completely fitting to who Hyunjin was as a person.

“Aren’t you cold?” 

“I am” He admitted, and then looked just a tad regretful, “But I packed away all my spare clothes”

“Maybe you should’ve thought this all through” You giggled.

“To be fair, I wasn’t thinking” He shrugged, “It’s fine. It’ll dry out”

He reached behind his neck, peeling off his grey hoodie. The white t-shirt he wore inside rose up with the simple action, revealing his stomach in a glimpse. Like a teenage girl, your heart jumped at the little display of skin. He tossed the hoodie to the side, and stepped closer to you.

His hair looked darker when wet, almost a shade of black, sticking to his face and his cheeks. He puffed, pushing it back behind his ears. You noticed his pendant, stuck in the front of his shirt as he stepped closer to you.

You weren’t thinking as you reached forward, grabbing the thin silver chain around his neck and tugged it out, so it fell against his chest instead.

Hyunjin was frozen still at the action, darting down to see what you were doing and then looking back up at you.

Your hand was still on the chain, and every part of you wanted to pull him closer by it, so you could kiss him. Right now didn’t seem like a good time for that though. He was feeling all kinds of emotions and vulnerability …if he wanted to kiss you tonight, he would have.

The thought of letting Hyunjin go — without feeling his lips again — hurt you, but it was a reality you’d accept. You’d been all over the place with him recently, never having defined what it meant, or why you kept making out without talking about it.

Maybe it was just a summer fling for him, because he’d made it plenty clear you two could never be anything more.

You cleared your throat, dropping your hand, “Now, can we try the drink? I’m dying to taste it” 

He nodded a yes, and you held your glasses up, clinking them against each other. The sound echoed in the empty house. As you did that, he looked right into your eyes, and you felt a familiar shiver run down your spine. You lift the glass up to your lips, tasting the liquid, and Hyunjin watched you as you did so. His eyes on you made you feel a little shy, but that was soon overpowered by how good the drink tasted. 

It smelled, and tasted just like flowers and sweetness, and you let out a moan of satisfaction, “Fuck. That’s…revolutionary”

Hyunjin smiled, eyes crinkling, and only after that did he sip his drink. It tasted like a dark chocolate tart, and like flavourful berries grown on a farm.

“Have you ever considered…becoming a mixologist instead of an idol?” 

He laughed, stepping close to the counter so that he lingered at your footsteps. If you opened your legs up just a bit, he could stand between your thighs but you weren’t sure it was appropriate. So, you stayed the way you were, sitting on the countertop, and Hyunjin stood as close as possible, his lower stomach grazing against your knees.

“Maybe when I retire” He joked, swirling the drink around in his glass.

“No, but this is seriously so good” You told him, genuinely now, “Is there anything that you can’t do?”

“Stop” His face turned red, and he looked embarrassed, “It’s just a drink. I didn’t do anything else”

“Well, nobody’s ever made me a Queen of Hearts before” 

He glanced up at you, “They’re missing out on a great opportunity then”

“Mmh. I’m sure nobody’s dying to do that”

His smile fell, hand landing on your knee, “Don’t do that”

“Do what…?”

“Talk down about yourself”

You blinked. It really wasn’t your intention to do that. You were just being honest. Nobody you knew in your life, or in all of Daejon would ever make a drink like this for you. There wasn’t anything wrong with that, but it was just the truth.

So it was interesting that he interpreted it as such, as if your reply offended him.

“I wasn’t” You clarified, “I just meant…there’s not a lot of guys in Daejon with skill sets like yours”

The way you said it made you cringe, it came out sounding so professionally formal.

He looked up at you, sincere expression, “That’s…a compliment I’ve never got before”

You broke into a laugh, and absentmindedly put your hand over his, the one that rested on your knee. His hand dwarfed yours in comparison, but you drew circles over it as you talked, “Well, I have a gift and a burning desire for pleasing others or I’ll shrivel up and die”

Hyunjin laughed, squeezing your knee, and his hair was wet, but it was already beginning to dry up around his face.

“I like when you’re like that” He suddenly spoke, eyes focused on his drink, not you.

You took a sip of it too, watching him, “When I’m like what?”

“I don’t know” He looked up, “Confident. Funny. Yourself. Not…sad”

“You make it sound like I’m always depressed”

He shook his head, “You know what I mean”

“I don’t” 

He sighed, as if wondering whether to say it or not.

You drew a star on his hand, the one that rest on your knee, “Tell me. It’s our last night together anyway”

It seemed like that was the push he needed, and he placed his glass to the side, “The past few weeks you haven’t seemed the most…happy. I know that you were having a lot of trouble with your friends, and with the art program application” He trailed off, looking guilty again, “And because of me…”

You stayed quiet, letting him continue.

“I guess it was just not a great time for you. But tonight, when I’m talking to you…it feels like those problems don’t exist in the moment. I know I have to leave tomorrow, and I know you were upset about that, and you have every right to be, but right now…it feels like you’re less burdened somehow”

You didn’t know he noticed so many things about you, and so your heart warmed at just that implication. Hearing him recount what you’d been going through, you also felt a little emotional.

He looked up at you, looking a little panicked, “Or I could be completely wrong. You can correct me”

“No” You refuted, “You’re not wrong. I do feel…less burdened. I guess I just never thought of it like that. For me, it just felt like each day was getting progressively worse. I didn’t look at it from any other perspective”

“Yeah… but things will work out for you, Y/N” He said so simply, “I know that sounds preach-y, but… it may feel like everything in your life is going wrong somehow, but I assure you it’s not. Every bad day you’ve recently had…all of that won’t matter soon enough, and so you have to know that this sadness isn’t forever”

You blinked, staring at him. Absentmindedly, his hand slid further up your leg, drifting from your knee to your thigh. You let it.

He pushed his stray hair back with his other hand, tucking the strands behind his ear, “And I know how much this art program meant to you, I’ve had my share of failed dreams before, so I know how gut-wrenching it is, but this isn’t the end of your art journey. You know that right?”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well, it can’t be. You have a gift, and…I know that it’s not going to waste”

You smiled, cheeks full from his words, “You have a gift too, you know?”

He locked eyes with you, and he was blushing too, and his fingers rest at your upper thigh now, “Yeah? What’s that?”

“You have...such a good heart, Hyunjin”

His eyes widened, hanging on to your every word.

“You’re the kindest person I know. It doesn’t sound like much, but…I’ve not met many people like you, genuinely good people. I respect that…a lot. You deal with so much bullshit in your life, but you still find a way to be happy”

His eyes lit up, a gorgeous smile appearing on his face, “Isn’t that the point of everything? The endgame”

You laughed, “It is. It what we’re all working towards. I just wish everyone else could be like you”

He smiled at your words, and you would miss this so much. The kind of ideas that you could talk about for hours. He looked beautiful like this. He looked like the most beautiful thing in the world when he was happy. He was shy too, biting his upper lip, and his cheeks were all red.

So you continued, to make that emotion last as long as you could, “I’m serious. You have such a kind heart, Hyunjin. You put your soul into everything you do, even if that’s just talking to someone at the grocery store or something. I think if someone met you, even for just a day in their life, you’d impact them forever”

His eyes crinkled with each sentence, bashful smile appearing, “Thank you”

You took another sip, and you watched him.

He was finishing his drink faster than you, and you just wanted him to be closer.

So, you lift your legs up, folding them on the counter, sitting cross-legged while facing him. His eyebrow shot up, for just a second, before he realised why you did that. He stepped closer, till his body was pressed to the counter, and his face was inches apart from you. 

He lift his glass up, indulging in the last drink, but his eyes stayed on you, and his hand was on your thigh again.

“Thank you for the drink and… for the pep talk. I really enjoyed that” You told him.

He placed his empty glass next to you, a sincere look in his eyes, “That’s what I’m here for”

You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, and you felt like your cheekbones would hurt.

“Everybody deserves to have someone like you in their lives, Hyunjin”

He was smiling too, cheeks full, eyes twinkling, “You too, Y/N”

You went to sip your drink, but it was already empty and you stared at the glass in your lap, “I finished it”

Hyunjin stared at your lap too, and the petals in the glass balanced in the space between your legs, “Do you want another?”

“Another drink?” You looked up at him.

He nodded, and his cheeks were so flushed, so he was already a little tipsy, “We can make a stronger one”

“You have a train to catch in the morning. Is that a good idea?”

“I’ll be fine” He reassured you, “This night is more important to me than that”

You clutched the counter on both sides, and nodded, “Okay. Another drink sounds good to me then”

He nodded, eyes half-lidded, “Can I have your glass?”

You hummed, “Yeah” but you made no effort to give it to him.

So, his eyes flickered from yours, to the glass between your legs. 

Carefully, he reached for it, trying to grasp the thin stem. You didn’t move an inch, holding your breath. 

His fingers brushed against your inner thighs, and he stilled. But he didn’t say anything. 

He went straight for it, and grabbed the wine glass, so near to where you needed him the most. 

Careful, he lifted it up from between your legs, and then finally you could breathe again. He walked over to the cabinet, “What kind of drink do you want this time?”

“I’ll trust your judgement”

He busied himself yet again, explaining what he was making, using up all the leftover gin he had. You watched him as he worked. The t-shirt was fitted, and it was a little wet from the rain, sticking to his body tightly. That must be uncomfortable. 

As he moved about, pouring the gin into your glasses, you focused on how his back muscles flexed and relaxed. He was so good with his hands, as he worked swiftly and quickly.

Your head was already beginning to spin.

“You have anything to eat?” You asked.

He looked back at you, “Are you dizzy?”

“Just a bit” You reassured him with a smile, “I am hungry though”

He turned, hands on his hips, and you found it hard to focus on his face. The t-shirt was basically see-through at this point, sticking to every ridge and muscle in his body, clinging to him. 

“I might have some chocolate, but I don’t remember if I packed it in my suitcase already”

“You know what, don’t worry about it” You waved it off with your hand, “I’ll be fine”

He looked worried, “You sure?”

“Mmh-mh”

“And you’re okay to have another drink? We don’t need to” 

“No, we won’t get to do this again, so yes I’m okay”

This was your last night, your brain kept screaming at you, again and again.

He turned to finish garnishing the drink. His hair was still long enough to brush his shoulders, and it stuck to the back of his neck, and the shade of brown really suited him. You wanted to run your hands through it, feel the wet hair between your fingertips, scratch it with your nails. 

His girlfriend…she must have had the honour to do that, whenever she wanted.

Unlike you. You always had to wait for moments. 

Moments like the one in the Photobooth. Or under the fireflies.

The special moments you lived for.

You couldn’t just casually walk up to him, and kiss him.

You were a little tipsy, so you didn’t think twice, “Can I ask you about her?”

He paused, and asked you, “Her?”

“The pop star you dated” 

Understanding sank into his shoulders, and he handed you the glasses. The second round of drinks were ready. Standing opposite you, he crossed one arm over his stomach, drinking with the other hand.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t feel comfortable” You added, watching him carefully.

He didn’t seem uncomfortable.

He tipped his head back, drinking, and then looked at you, “You really want to know?”

“Yeah” You gripped the counter, and your drink lay to the side, untouched.

You added, “I mean she’s your ex, and…we’re friends. Friends talk about that kind of stuff”

He nodded, slightly, “They do”

You were relieved, never wanting to make him uncomfortable, but you were burning with curiosity.

“What do you want to know?” He tilt his head.

“How did you meet her?”

He suddenly relaxed, as if he’d been expecting you to ask much harder questions, “Oh, uh. She was training at the same company I was. On a different floor, of course. She was one of the top trainees of her year, and…we would practice at the same time, overnight. I bumped into her a few times then”

“Oh. Sounds like she worked really hard”

Hyunjin nodded, “I mean, we had no choice, but yeah…she was one of the few who really pushed herself. Some days it felt impossible to debut, so you really only made it if you worked your ass off, you know?” He then paused, as if wondering whether to say the next thing or not, but he did it anyway, “That’s what I liked the most about her”

Your gut clenched, but your curiosity overshadowed the jealousy that was eating you up.

“So…did you ask her out? Or did she?”

He took another sip of his drink, glancing briefly to the floor and then up at you, “Yeah. I had a stupid teenage crush on her”

The words were enough to make you finally pick up your drink, and perhaps you needed to be inebriated before listening to this.

A fucking crush. She must have been the luckiest girl in the world to be crushed on by Hwang Hyunjin. You wondered what she looked like, but maybe it was better not to know. She was a star, she was probably perfect.

If he ever told you he had a crush on you, you’d probably pass out. 

“Was that allowed…? To date another trainee?”

Hyunjin then laughed, shaking his head, “Um, not at all. It was forbidden”

Oh.

It was forbidden, but he did it anyway.

“You must have liked her a lot”

He hummed, swirling the liquid in his glass, “I was a stupid kid. I wasn’t thinking”

“So you regret it?”

He shook his head, “No. I needed the experience”

“Of dating?”

“That, but also…a month or so after we started going out, one of her friends was asked to leave the company because she was caught up in a scandal. A dating one. That made me realise that I was risking my entire life, and my dream, for…a girl”

“How’d you do it?”

“Do what?” He seemed confused.

Your body was alight with all of this information.

“Keep it a secret for that long”

He smiled a bit at the memory, “Um. We found ways. We’d meet after dinner, and during late-night practices. Sometimes really early in the morning”

You think you would die.

“Did you fuck?”

Hyunjin’s eyes shot up to yours, wide, surprised. 

You don’t know what the hell possessed you to say that, but you didn’t budge, indicating to him that it was okay to answer.

He slowly nodded, tongue poking his cheek, “Yeah. We did”

You were dying.

But for some godforsaken reason, you needed to know the details. As if the thoughts of his secret dating days was arousing to you.

“Tell me more”

He til his head, words at the tip of his tongue. He wanted to ask you if you really wanted to know, or why you were so curious, but he didn’t ask. 

You wouldn’t have asked if you weren’t prepared to hear the answer.

Hyunjin was staring at you, assessing every little detail of your facial expression, and you wanted to seem confident. You weren’t some kid. 

You could hear about him having sex, and not freak out.

Thoughts of him fucking some pop star should kill you, but it didn’t. Your core was tight, with anticipation, with imagination. You pressed your thighs together, waiting for him to talk.

“Um…” He paused, to take another sip. Perhaps he needed some liquid courage too sometimes, “It was never…we never had too much time on our hands. It was always quick. Rushed, but I think that’s where half of the thrill of it was. The fear of being caught anytime. If we weren’t quick, we wouldn’t have been able to…”

Your heart was pounding.

Images flashing in your head. 

He looked into your eyes, and you just nodded, for him to continue. If he looked at your hands, he would see your knuckles were white from gripping the counter too hard. 

“It was hot” He spoke, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed, “The secrecy. The…shared glances. Nobody but us knew what went on. During group sessions, we would watch each other…in the practice room. Working out. Dancing”

“And?”

It wasn’t enough.

His eyes had a peculiar expression, like he couldn’t understand why you wanted to know all this stuff, but he told you anyway, “And…on bad days, when she was frustrated or upset, I’d…be there for her. In the way that she wanted”

You took a large sip of your drink, the alcohol sour in your mouth, and your head was beginning to spin. In a good way. You were wet too.

You didn’t think you could ever feel this way. 

You were dizzy with want, and with desire, and his name escaped your lips in what was almost a complaint, “Hyunjin…”

“Yeah?” He was immediate to step closer, keeping his glass aside. He put his hands on either side of you, caging you in place, and his voice dropped so low, “Are you gonna tell me why you wanted to know that?”

“I don’t know” You mumbled, “I don’t understand it myself”

He leaned in, watching you, “You’ve had a lot to drink”

“I’m fine”

His voice softened, and he grabbed the glass from you, “I know, but…let’s not drink anymore, okay?”

“Why?” You whined, “It’s your last night”

He out a soft laugh, “It’s not like I’m dying or anything. I’ll only be a few hours away from you”

“A few hours is a lot. I don’t want you to be even a few minutes away” You complained.

He smiled, adoration in his eyes, “So, what do you want then? To stay with me all the time?”

You nodded, eyes closing, “That sounds fair”

He laughed, loudly, “Is it really? What about my job? Is it fair for me to leave all of that?”

“What about me?” You opened your eyes to look at him. 

He was so close, just inches away. His wispy bangs stuck to his forehead, grazing his eyebrows. His eyes were full of amusement, they were so brown, and so big. 

His lips were thick, tinted with the colors of the drink, and even little accidents like that made him look perfect, like he was sculpted by a great artist. You could admire him for hours.

He tilt his head, “What about you?”

You pursed your lips, feeling sad all of a sudden, “Are you gonna forget all about me?”

His smiled, hand tracing your cheek, “You really think so?”

“Your whole life is waiting for you back there”

He nodded, “It is…”

“You have so much to look forward to” You told him. So much more than what this life here in this little small-town could give him. 

He spoke, “Maybe that’s why I’m not sad. I guess because Seoul has always been my home”

Your heart felt heavy at his confession but you understood him, “Hyun…”

“I know. It sounds horrible. I was born here, and this is where my parents used to live before we moved, and this town should mean so much more to me. I feel like I’m betraying…that”

“You’re not betraying anyone, Hyun. You may not feel this town anymore but Daejon will still always be here for you. If you ever need it”

He glanced at you, eyes wide.

“And I will be too” You continued, “If you ever need me”

His mouth parted as he whispered, “Thank you”

You swallowed, staring at his lips, “What do we do now?”

His eyes flickered over you, and he was quiet.

Your heart was racing a mile a minute, and your mind too. 

“I don’t know” He finally spoke.

Your heart carried a sense of unfulfilment.

There was more that should happen. 

You could talk to each other for hours, and it was endless. Unfortunately, time was linear.

It was finite, and yours with him was coming to an end.

You’d been here for hours, yet it didn’t feel like that.

Hyunjin was staring at you, half-lidded eyes, and empty promises swirled within them.

You swallowed your sadness, trying to find words, “Your manager, he’s going to be coming here soon, right?”

“Yeah. His train will arrive…any time now” He glanced at his phone, “He’s almost here…”

“I should go before he arrives”

Hyunjin nodded, stepping back, “Yeah. He…he can’t see you here”

You jumped off the counter, suddenly unsure what to do or say. This was it.

He was going to be gone soon.

You stared at each other, at a loss for words. You couldn’t even cry. You just felt a certain numbness. The numbness he talked about. Maybe it was the gin.

You also felt like you were in denial, like he would return soon and you’d see him tomorrow morning. 

But the last time he left…he didn’t return for years.

Why would now be any different?

“I don’t know what to say” You mumbled, stupidly. There was nothing wrong with being honest.

He was leaving, and you couldn’t breathe. The air in your body wasn’t enough, and you were panicking because you didn’t know what to fucking say. Why had nobody prepared you for goodbyes like this?

In the movies, they were so dramatic, but real life wasn’t like that.

In the books, they were so romantic, but there was no time for love in his life.

Hyunjin’s expression softened, “You don’t have to say anything. I don’t want you to be sad. We’re going to meet again, and we’ll see each other soon”

You nodded, air returning to your lungs, “Right. You’re completely right, Hyunjin”

There was no need to freak out. He wasn’t dying, or anything. 

You didn’t want this to be some big deal. You weren’t going to cry, or make a scene. 

“It’s only for a little while” He shot you a smile.

“Yeah” Your palms were sweaty, and you wiped them on your jeans. You stared at the kitchen counter, and your wine glasses lay empty. You wish you’d asked for another drink. You wish tonight didn’t have to end. You wish time wasn’t linear, and you could go back.

Fuck. If you could change things, you would have gone back just an hour tonight, and you would have told him you were in love with him.

But it was too late now. 

He was just your friend, and he would stay in touch with you, like friends did. It wasn’t any different than what Yeonjun did when he left, or even Seonghwa.

“I should go” You stated, with finality.

Hyunjin nodded, then stepped forward, closing the distance between you until he stood an arm's length away.

“Thank you for coming over” He mentioned, “I wouldn’t have been able to sleep tonight anyway”

“Of course. That’s…what friends are for” You smiled up at him.

He suddenly seemed awkward, hands at his side like he didn’t know what to do, “Can I hug you?”

Why was this so strange?

Why were neither of prepared for this?

You’d never said goodbye to a boy you loved, so you didn’t know how it worked.

You wish there was a manual for this. But even every tutorial in the world couldn’t prepare you for the look in his eyes.

You got up on your toes, pulling him into an embrace, and he immediately hugged you back. His strong arms wrapped around your body, squeezing you in his grip. 

You could smell the rain on him, a faint hint of his cologne, his shampoo. You’d want to bottle up his scent, and keep it with you forever. The air smelt like the ground after it rained, and like an unrequited love.

You tried to memorise the shape of his arms on you, and the sound of his heart beat. 

Hyunjin let go of you, far too quickly, but it was what you needed, or you’d never leave.

You were in a state of fugue, indulging in actions, but not thinking, not feeling.

You found yourself at the front door, and you don’t remember how you got here. You looked back at him, “Text me when you get to the city, okay?”

He nodded, “I will. Don’t worry, okay?”

All your words seem stuck in you. They can’t seem to make it past your chest.

Maybe a part of you thought there’d be some grand declaration of love by now, but this was real life and those things never happened.

You turned to leave.

“Wait—” He suddenly spoke.

“What?” You asked, anticipation swelling within you.

His wait held so many promises. So much hope.

Wait, I’m in love with you too.

Wait, I’m fucking stupid for leaving you all alone in this town.

Wait, please don’t leave me without kissing me goodbye.

He retreated to the kitchen counter, “Wait — your sketchbook. Don’t forget to take that” 

“Oh. Of course” You grabbed it from him, fingers brushing against his. 

“Take care of yourself” He spoke, and it was so forced. It was the right thing to say, obviously. It’s what you told people when you wouldn’t see them again for a while. 

But it felt wrong, like you were both forcing yourselves to follow traditions, and patterns, but those never worked on the two of you.

You pushed open the door, and a gust of wind blew in. The storm had passed now, so you could get home safely, by yourself, all alone. 

Looking over your shoulder as you walked out, you felt nothing. He smiled at you, but it didn’t reach his eyes. His heart wasn’t in it. 

You were drained out, and all of your emotions were spent.

You held the sketchbook to your chest, focusing on the sound of your footsteps on the wet pavement, and not on Hyunjin’s house behind you.

You heard the door close behind you, and you squeezed the sketchbook a little harder, willing yourself to walk as fast as you could.

It felt like it would be the most emotionally draining moment of your life, but you felt so numb too.

You passed his front porch and bedroom window, and you remembered the first time you’d come over. How he’d shown you all of his art, and his painting. You’d been surprised to know how wonderfully his mind worked. 

Even back then, he’d asked if he could hug you. Always so…fucking nice. 

You were already forgetting the feel of his arms around you.

You stopped in your tracks, and you shouldn’t.

You turned around.

His house was beautiful, like him. 

Tomorrow, it would be empty.

Right now, it was so full of him, of his love, and of everything that made him him.

Your body took on a mind of its own, and you were walking. 

You were walking back to his place. It was stupid. 

What the hell were you doing?

You had no plan or idea of what you’d say when you got there, but that couldn’t have been your goodbye. 

You needed to see him one more time. Just another minute.

You raised your hand in a fist to knock on his door, but before you could, the door flew open.

He stood there, staring at you, eyes wide. 

His hair was messy like he’d run his hand through it a million times since you walked away, but that was only twenty fucking seconds ago.

“Y/N…” He spoke, breathing heavy as his eyes flickered all over you, and the fact that you’d come back.

“What… what were you doing?” You had the audacity to ask him when you didn’t even know what the fuck you were doing.

He was breathing so heavy, chest moving rapidly up and down, “I don’t really know. I was coming after you” 

Realisation sank in. 

You’d come back to see him again, and in the same breath he was coming after you. 

The world was really so cruel.

How could two people be so perfect for each other but be destined to be apart?

You couldn’t say anything, except his name, “Hyun—”

And in the same breath, his lips collided with yours, so hard and fast.

The impact was so powerful you stumbled back, but his arm was tightly wrapped around you, holding you up. 

It was tight around your waist, gripping you, and he was devouring you, lips moving against yours like they never should be apart. 

You were running out of time.

You kissed him back, hands coming up to his arms, gripping his biceps tight, fingernails digging in. 

Time was running and it was slipping away every second that the Earth was turning, but his grip on you was so strong that even a planet couldn’t come between you.

You stood at his doorway, on the threshold, halfway in, halfway out.

He’d never kissed you like this. 

His hand slipped into your hair, gripping onto it so tightly it almost hurt, tilting your head back and back as he towered over you. He kept kissing you, pressing pecks against your lips, bruising them.

Your hands drifted into the front of his shirt, and you gripped it in your fists, holding onto him for life.

“Fuck—” He mumbled, in a breath between pecks. Fuck, you’re actually fucking doing this again.

Your body was heating up, and he stopped to let you breathe, moving his mouth over your jawline and leaving kisses to your ear. You were putty in his hands, and he tilt his head the other way, pecking every inch of un-kissed skin.

“You came back” He breathed, pupils dilated as he looked right at you, and both his hands came to hold your face.

“I couldn’t go” You were panting, trying to get the air back in.

“I’m gonna miss you so fucking much” His lips trailed over yours again, tracing your mouth to memory.

“I know, I know” You nodded, realising that you were both tasting your tears. You didn’t even know you had tears.

The door was wide open and it was stupid to do this now, but it was everything. The wind prickled goosebumps up your arms, and legs, and you both kissed each other goodbye.

“Can I just say something?” He asked, breathing heavy. 

“There’s no time” You told him, kissing him again, and again.

He laughed slightly, “I’ll be quick”

You pulled away, “Tell me”

He was speaking quickly, trying to get all the words out in one breath, “I know we’ve said it a million times. I know we’re supposed to just be friends, and I know nothing can happen, but…I have no self-control around you. I’m so fucking sorry”

It didn’t make you sad. You’d heard it before, and you embraced it.

“Don’t apologise” You mumbled, and your hands drifted around his waist, feeling him up. 

Was it possible to want somebody so bad, knowing it would lead to absolutely nothing?

He swallowed, “I know we have to just be friends…but I’m so fucking attracted to you. Like an absolutely insane amount. It’s impossible for me to pretend I’m not into you”

Each word he said just made you wet, and you kissed him instead of answering. 

There was no time, because when were things ever easy for you?

You felt him up, all you could, hands drifting to his ass, and to the front of his pants, squeezing him through his sweatpants.

He left kisses on your jaw, and he felt you up too. His hand squeezed your ass, the other going up the front of your shirt. His fingers grazed your bra, and he pulled you even closer to him.

“Can I take you inside?” He whispered, ”Please, please, please”

“Hyunjin, I don’t wanna be interrupted” You breathed, because that’s what always happened. 

“Me neither” He mumbled into your neck, breathing in your scent, “We won’t… go there. We won’t sleep together”

You pulled back to look him in the eyes, because it sounded impossible right now, “Would we be able to stop before that?”

He nodded, “If you can’t, I’ll stop us. Don’t worry”

How could you say no? 

So he took your hand, fingers intertwining with yours, as you found yourselves back in his bedroom. Everything was put away, and his room was empty, but you sat on the bed and didn’t break the kiss for a second.

You didn’t have the luxury to go further, but you could just kiss. So you did just that.

He didn’t pull you into his lap, because you wouldn’t be able to control yourself if he did.

Instead, you sat cross-legged, facing each other, mouths meeting in the middle like two teenagers dared to kiss at a party.

He kept his hand in your hair, the other on your waist, and it was so innocent it was sweet. Your hands rested on his thighs, squeezing the skin through his sweats.

You didn’t know much time you had left, until he had to leave, until you were interrupted. You hope his manager never showed up. 

You continued to feel him up, memorising every ridge and muscle of his body, and he let out soft moans every time you touched him somewhere new.

“I’m so glad you came back” He mumbled, “I wanted you so much”

“Why didn’t you ask me?” You almost whined, kissing his jawline, “I wanted you too”

Things got more heated, and in a matter of seconds, he was pulling you closer to him. Your knees skidded across the mattress, as Hyunjin pulled you to him. 

Nothing was supposed to happen, but somehow, you were fiddling with the knot of his sweatpants, and he had unbuttoned your jeans, pulling the button out of its loop. 

You were dizzy with desire, and his hand slipped inside your jeans, at the same time that yours did into his sweatpants. Now you really did feel like teenagers — making out with your hands down each other’s pants.

It was hard for him because the waistband of your jeans were so tight, and he seemed frustrated. If you’d known this was going to happen, you’d have worn a dress, or maybe nothing at all, so nothing could stop him from touching you.

His fingers brushed against your underwear, and you were so fucking wet it was ridiculous. You bit back a moan, he’d barely touched you but you were burning.

Everything was spinning, and you were so high off off him. His fingers pushed your panties to the side, your arousal making it harder for him to do.

“Fuck…you’re really wet” He mumbled, and his fingers touched your core. You let out a moan at the feeling.

This was the first time he’d touched you like this, and you couldn’t focus on anything. Your hand in his pants stilled, as his fingers started to brush languid circles across your clit. 

Your head fell forward, against his forehead, and he didn’t even seem to mind that you’d stopped touching his cock. He was too focused on you. 

“Shh…I got you” He breathed, kissing your jaw, as he pressed his fingers against you, truly feeling how much you wanted him. You couldn’t describe the way he touched you, as if he was caressing you, fingers brushing against your folds so delicately. Nobody had ever touched you like this.

Your mouth parted, allowing Hyunjin to slip his tongue in, and his anxiety manifested in how intensely he kissed you, like he was running out of time, like this was the last time. You let him take control, as he controlled the pace of it, making out with you. Yet, making out seemed too crude a word for what he was doing. He was savouring every kiss - no half-kisses, no pecks - mouth crushed to yours like he wanted to devour you and you’d let him.

You’d been turned on since hours. You needed more. You gripped onto his bicep tightly, your other hand buried down his pants, hoping he would get the hint. His fingers prodded at your entrance, feeling you.

“Will you let me?” He asked, voice so innocent. You’d never said yes so fast before in your life.

Your lips grazed his ear, and then his cheek, “Please, Hyun”

He pulled back to look at you, “Are you sure?”

“Please”

“Stop me if it hurts, okay?” He kissed under your ear, and then in one swift move, he pushed a finger inside you. You stopped breathing the deeper he got, and you looked at him, mouth parted. 

It didn’t hurt. He could never hurt you.

“You’re so gorgeous” He mumbled, and then he pulled his finger back, before pushing it back in. An embarrassing moan escaped you, and he smiled at your reaction. 

“You like it when I do that?” He asked, and he was out of breath, just like you. He began thrusting out, and then back in, slow, lazy strokes, like he was still getting a feel for it, familiarising himself with your reactions and your body. But there was no time for slow, or careful.

“Holy shit” You mumbled, feeling like you’d pass out, “You can —You can go deeper, and faster too...please”

You had to make him feel good too. So you went back to work, wrapping your hand entirely around his cock. It was a different kind of feeling, to be doing this with all of your clothes still on. There was a small stain at the front of his sweatpants, and he was leaking already. The sight made you dizzy and crazy.

You brushed your thumb against his tip. He let out a moan, eyes fluttering shut, “Fuck. If you do that, I can’t focus on you” 

He then thrust another finger deep inside you, stretching you open, as if in retaliation.

Your mouth fell open in a moan, eyes squeezing shut, but you didn’t stop moving your hand over his cock, “But— but you’re distracting me”

You were both a mess of whimpers and moans, and he kept fingering you open, stretching you out. You’re sure his hand was dripping with your arousal, just like yours was covered in his pre-cum.

Hyunjin became impatient, bucking his hips for more friction, and you increased your pace too.  He whimpered, back arching, and cursed loudly, fucking himself into your hand. His hair was wet with sweat, sticking to his forehead, to his neck.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” You told him, pressing your mouth to his.

He fingered you harder. 

Your vision was a blur, and all you could focus on was moving your hand over his length. Something about making him moan, while his fingers were buried inside you, was so fucking hot. He was too big in your hands, and you wanted him so bad. But you’d made an agreement, and you couldn’t fuck, no matter how tempting it was.

Time ticked so fast, slipping from within you.

“Are you close?” He whispered into your ear, finger fucking you slowly. It was far too much to handle. You squirmed in his grip, “Yeah. Go faster, please”

He nodded, pressing a kiss to your lips and then increased his pace. You could hear how turned on you were, the wet sounds echoing through his room.

“It’d be easier without the jeans” He mumbled, fucking you open with just his fingers, frustrated at how the waistband restricted his movements. 

“Are you close too?” 

He hummed, “I’m so close. I could cum probably just from touching you”

His words shot another wave of arousal through you, and your core tightened around him, impossibly.

“Fuck — you just…got so tight. Did you like that?” He asked you.

You nodded, no coherent thought in your head.

“Shit, come here” He said, and he pulled your hand out of his sweatpants. You whined at the loss of contact, but he pulled you into his lap instead. His arm came around to hold you up, and you were sat right on his crotch.

“What about—” You went to ask, but he shut you up with a kiss. 

His hand slipped back inside your jeans, and he slid your panties to the side again, “Let me”

You nodded, putting your hands around his neck.

He was so hard under you, and experimentally he thrust up, the friction of you on him so much, and he breathed, “Shit. That feels...amazing”

Everything was spinning, except him, “Don’t stop”

“Remember what I told you?” He mumbled, hand gripping your hip, and you nodded. 

He’d taught you how to make him feel good, back when you were still in the Photobooth. So, you dragged yourself over his crotch, slowly. It was harder to do when his fingers were still inside you, but every little movement felt amplified. 

You didn’t care about anything but him, you didn’t need this to be slow, you didn’t need it to be careful. You just needed him, and that was perfect.

His head fell back, and you kissed messily, spit between your mouths. He was thrusting up into you, to the same pace that his fingers moved inside you. It seemed like that was really enough for him too. Every little contact drove you crazy, like it was your first time touching a boy, and his first time touching a girl. There was so much novelty in the way you two moved against each other, and no finesse. Everything was rushed, every kiss messy, each feeling intensified. 

You caressed the sides of his face, “I want you to fuck me, please”

His eyes widened, but he thrust up so hard at those words, “Y/N, we can’t”

“Please, just the...just the tip”

He kissed you, “I want to, so badly, but --”

“But what?”

He looked genuinely sorry, breaking away from the kiss, “I don’t have a...condom. I'm sorry”

Oh, the irony. You wanted to scream with agony, because you don’t think you’d ever wanted someone this bad before.

“I’m so sorry” He mumbled, kissing you again, but then his voice turned darker, “My fingers aren’t enough for you?”

You clenched, “No. No- they are”

He thrust both fingers in with so much pressure, stretching you open, “Is that better?”

You pressed your lips to his, wanting to kiss him through your orgasm, because your stomach was tightening and you were so close. Hyunjin deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, and he was suddenly so rough and intense but you absolutely loved that.

He was breathing heavy, eyes half-lidded and consumed with lust, just like you. His lips were so puffy, and swollen, thick and full, and so pink, and he was fingering you so perfectly. Your core tightened, and you pressed your mouth to his again, to let him kiss you because you felt so out of control.

“Wait— wait, I wanna look at you” He breathed, pushing both fingers in so deep, curling them just right. All it took was to look at him for you to completely let go. 

Stars dotted your vision, and you whimpered, your entire body trembling. 

“Hyun—” You buried your face in his neck, a white hot flash overtaking you, travelling from your core to your heart, to your head. 

He was still grinding against you, faster now, lips hovering over yours, chasing a high you’d both been denied for far too long. And just seconds after, he let out a long drawn out moan, hips twitching up into you, eyes squeezed shut as he cursed, “Fuck”

For a few minutes, there was nothing but the sounds of your breaths. 

He was breathing deeply, and his hair was drenched, sweat dripping down his face, and neck and chest.

He opened his eyes. You wanted to cuddle up in his arms and go to sleep. From the look on his face, he wanted the same. You stared at each others state, and slowly he pulled his hand out of your jeans. Sweat trickled down his chin. It sparkled like glitter. You traced his jawline with your hands, soaking up the sweat into your skin.

You didn’t say anything, but he wrapped his arms tighter around your body. You gripped the front of his shirt, squeezing it in your grip. His heart was beating so fast. 

“You okay?” He asked you, his voice so gentle.

You hummed, and you felt drained, but you felt exhilarated too.

His hand rubbed your back, soothing you.

You tilt your head at him, “You?”

A smile pulled at his lips, “Yeah. I’m okay”

You traced his pecs through the shirt, not wanting him to leave. It was criminal for this feeling to end, and for this pleasure to not be yours everyday. Nothing had ever felt this good, and even in your post-coital haze, you wanted him more. 

So you blurted, “What if I did it anyway?”

“Did what?”

“What if…I moved to Seoul anyway? Maybe I could go there first…and look for a job later. I know it’s crazy and impulsive but I’ve always wanted to live there and—”

You trailed off, at his expression.

“Do you think it’s a stupid idea or something?” You chewed on your lower lip.

Hyunjin’s eyes followed that movement, and his thumb traced your mouth, “No …it’s not stupid at all. It’s what you’ve wanted for a few years, right?”

“It sounds crazy and impulsive…because I don’t even have a plan of what I’ll do, but maybe...that doesn’t matter”

Before he could speak up, his phone buzzed against the nightstand.

He glanced at it, and then to you.

Just at that minute, you heard the cab pull up. Hyunjin sighed, closing his eyes, and you got off his lap. He peeked through the blinds, “Fuck. He’s here”

“I should leave” You stood, gathering your things. There was no time to ask for his opinion anymore. Maybe he didn’t want to tell you it was a batshit insane idea.

“Hold on” He handed you his sweatshirt, the one that had dried by now, “It’s a cold walk out. You sure you’ll make it home safe?”

“Don’t worry about me” You told him, squeezing his sweatshirt in your hands, feeling silly for blurting out such a spontaneously dumb idea that made it very obvious how much you loved him.

A car door opened outside, and his manager must have stepped out. It was almost four in the morning. You were going to be leaving through the back. 

His manager couldn’t see you here. 

You’d already said your goodbyes, in the only way you knew how to.

You stepped out onto the patio, but Hyunjin grabbed your arm, urgency in his tone, “You should do it, Y/N”

You turned, confused, “Do what?”

The doorbell rang.

Hyunjin spoke quickly, “What you were just talking about. Even if you didn’t get into the program you wanted, you should move there. To Seoul”

Your eyes widened, tears filling up suddenly, and you quickly pulled him into another hug, and he stumbled into your embrace, “Thank you for saying that. I think it’d feel less scary with you there”

His lips brushed against your ear, “It’s the least I can do. Being here was less scary for me, only because of you”

He kissed you a rushed goodbye, but for the first time that night, your heart didn’t hurt anymore.

»»————-

Your morning passed in a daze. 

Time wasn’t real, as you lay on your bed, counting down the seconds until his train. Minutes stretched into hours into seconds, and you must have been more tired than you thought, because you woke up to drool on your pillow. 

The sun told you it was the afternoon. 

You’d fallen asleep in the clothes you wore to the drive-in theater. Your underwear was still wet, and reminded you of him. You were smiling to yourself like a crazy person, as you dressed yourself for work, and you put his sweatshirt on. It smelled just like him, and as you walked to work, the grass and the birds and the houses all remind you of him. 

Was it possible to fall even more in love with someone?

You were distracted, often drifting into thoughts of his moans, of the sensation of his hand in your pants, but it was frustrating because the man of your affections was moving miles away from you by the minute.

Hyunjin’s first text came at a precarious time.

You had been packing a pink acrylic canister for a customer, and the pings of your phone were so distinctive, you instantly knew it was him. It had to be Hyunjin, he must have already reached home, and you had to hold back an urge to text him back.

The phone buzzed incessantly against the glass countertop, and the lady in front of you raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry” You apologised for the ringing, “I forgot to put it on silent”

She didn’t really seem to care, “Can I try a paint swatch of the pink before you pack it up?”

“Of course” You unscrewed the cap, dipping a stray paintbrush into it, so you could show her how it showed up on paper, “Is that good?”

“Um, do you have a brighter one perhaps? I don’t think my daughter needs this one” 

You nodded, glancing behind her, “I think it’s in the third aisle”

A few more pings from your phone caught your attention.

It startled you, making you squeeze the bottle in your hands, and pink paint dripped onto your fingers and the countertop.

“Shit” You mumbled, wiping it clean with a tissue.

The customer was still busy browsing the aisles, and Mrs. Aera would be less than pleased to see you using your phone on your job, but…

It was just for a minute.

hyun

heyy

shit im sorry i couldn’t call earlier

It’s been crazy

but i just got to my dorm

i just wanted to let you know i made it 

and i was planning to paint in the train journey over, but i totally passed out lol

you

hey :)

I was just thinking of you

im so glad youre home safe <3

that sounds like something i would do ngl

keep me updated!

tell me everything in detail later please im dying

hyun

sent a photo

can you tell they missed me a lot

It was a picture of him at a stairwell, surrounded by three boys you’d come to recognise as Chan, Changbin and Jisung. They were smiling wide, teeth on display and Changbin was making a kissing face toward’s Hyunjin’s cheek, lips pouted and ready. 

Jisung was pulling at Hyunjin’s other cheek, and Chan was laughing to the side, eyes closed in pretty crescents. 

you 

they’re adorable lmao

did changbin actually kiss u haha?

In the picture you literally look like a kid embarrassed by his parents  

hyun 

they won’t let go of me ever since im back

and yeah changbin even insisted on sleeping in my bed tonight..?

i had to reassure them im not going away anytime soon 

but its sweet

what are you up to?

i hope you weren’t too tired for work 

“This pink seems like a good shade, does it not?” The customer brought you back to reality, placing a canister on the counter, and her gaze fell to the stained countertop, “What happened to your hands?”

Your screen was now tainted with pink fingerprint stains, but you didn’t care, smiling at the texts you just received. Maybe things would be okay, even when he was gone.

»»————-

 The first time he called you from the city, was when you were at the diner, and you almost fumbled your latte at the ringing. 

Seonmi raised a questioning eyebrow as you pushed your coffee cup aside.

You picked up faster than lightning. 

“Hi” You spoke, into your phone, sounding just a little out of breath.

“Hey” His voice sent shooting stars through your heart, igniting you with a newfound energy at only eight in the morning. It was hoarse, and smooth at the same time.

You’d only been texting each other the past few days, he’d been rightfully swept into the whirlwind of his life, and you’d been dying to know how he’d been. He’d given you little updates, about how it felt to move back in, to get back to his job, at how he was welcomed back by his fans so grandly. 

You’d watched his return on the news — the number of people who were there to greet him at the train station was insane, and you’d felt so proud of him. He told you that they had to close a major exit of the station, just because the company hadn’t expected that many people to show up. 

It was the first time you’d physically seen the impact he had, and it didn’t surprise you at all. People with pictures of him, banners, and slogans and signs in every language just to welcome him back from his hiatus.

He was so loved by so many people.

It’d be selfish to want to keep him just to yourself.

“Are you outside?”

“I was just grabbing coffee” You explained, pressing your phone to your ear to drown out the sounds of the diner. 

“Man, I miss The Grove’s coffee”

You twirled the cup in your hands, smiling, “It misses you too”

“I thought I’d call you when I had time. I’m headed straight to the studio after this. Guess what? The stylists love what I did with my hair, apparently the blonde is an old trend now anyway, and now they want to capture this while it’s still fresh”

You laughed, “What? You mean the cheap haircut you gave yourself?”

He chuckled, “Mmh. Something about it is raw, and apparently perfect for my comeback”

You spun on your chair, “Well, they certainly know how to make the best of a situation” 

“We’re recording till late tonight. With the new album, we’re on the clock almost all the time. We have just under two weeks to finish producing it”

“For the entire album? Is that enough?”

“It has to be” He said, “I don’t mind. It’s what I live for”

You bit your lip, anticipation coursing through you, “Can I hear it anytime soon?”

He grinned, “You’ll be the first one”

He kept his promise. 

That night, he sent you a video. 

It’s a snippet of him in the studio, and you keel at the thumbnail before you’ve even opened it. His hair was messy, like he’s straight out of bed before recording, and bulky headphones sat around his neck. 

You hear someone counting down in the background, and you wonder if that’s Chan, his producers, or someone else to help with the process. The instrumental is muted, so it’s just Hyunjin singing the backing vocals.

Eyes squeezed shut, he’s lost in the verse of the song. The cadence and tone of his voice so distinctly different from when he speaks. It’s sassy, and it’s harsh, and the cleanest rap you ever heard.

You stared in awe, earphones plugged in, sat behind the cash counter in your break, and then you watched it again, and again, until you’re called back to your shift.

You think about the video all the while you’re at the store, and you called him as soon as you’re out.

“You were so good, the verse has been stuck in my head for hours and you sound cocky as fuck, but it’s not an annoying cocky. How do you even do that?” You were belting out compliments for minutes now, and Hyunjin sat at the other end, accepting them with flushed cheeks. He was so shy right now, a stark contrast to his singing personality. 

“Stop. You make me sound better than I am. You should…be telling me to get better” He complained.

You laughed, “You’re literally already perfect at it”

“When you visit me, I’ll get you access to the studio. You can watch me record it in real time” He suggested.

The thought excites you, and you imagine watching him from the couch, through the observation window.

You imagine him coming out of the booth to take a break, all sweaty and exhausted, and he would put an arm around you. 

Perhaps you’re influenced by far too many 80s movies. Still, you imagine excessively making out with him in the recording studio until his assistants have to physically pull you off each other.

Yeah, considering the industry he’s in, that could never happen.

Over the next few days, he also sends you videos from the dance studio, and all of your feelings for him build on top of each other, like a Jenga tower destined to fall. Every day that passes, a new block is added, and you don’t know how lucky you had to be to bump into him in your life.

He dances just like he kisses, with purpose and intensity, a certain romance behind his moves, and you become guilty of obsessively rewatching the clips he sends you, finding new details every time. 

He wears simple sweatpants to the studio, and he ties his hair up into a bun, and all you want is to be there to kiss his sweat away, and reward him after his long days of work. 

It feels silly to fantasize about caring for him, like you’re a seventies housewife, but you can’t help it. You want to massage the knots from his back, brush the tangles out of his hair, and kiss him between every dance practice. 

You realise how much he’s taken over your life and thoughts, even when he’s miles away. You don’t tell him all of this, but some days you can’t help but blurt your thoughts out.

“You’re messing with me every time you send me another video” You complain to him, “How do you contain all of that talent in a singular body?”

He laughs, but he doesn’t stop. He sends you selfies of him every day from the practice room, and he’s always glistening with sweat in them, throwing up a cheesy peace sign, and it’s your new favourite picture, until he sends you another the very next day.

You sit on your bedroom floor, fiddling with the strings of your hoodie as you talk to him, “What’s your schedule like right now?”

He’s at the headquarters of a high-end international magazine, in the waiting room as he talks to you. You can’t help but feel special that he takes out this time for you, “Well, I stay in the recording studio till late, and when I’m home…I’m trying to paint as much as I can before passing the fuck out. I just started a few days ago but it helps me destress. It gives me time to think about what happened in my day. It’s so…cathartic”

You smiled, so glad he found time to paint again, “Are you cheating on Aera’s with that art shop in Hongdae?”

He laughed, “Yeah. The cashier’s pretty cute here too”

You roll your eyes, “Funny…I hope you’re still making time to eat”

“Yeah, Jisung is my self-appointed manager for the moment. They’re smothering me with love”

“What, he cooks for you?”

“God no, he’d burn the dorm down. He just gets me my favourite takeout. Man, I missed takeout so much I didn’t even realise. There’s a Thai place down the street, and I’m basically surviving on it”

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, Daejon isn’t boujee enough for a Thai restaurant”

He giggled, “I miss the hilltop bakery, although Chan introduced me to this cake shop. It opened just a month ago, it’s some European franchise but fuck if it isn’t the best pastries I’ve had”

You laughed, “It seems like you’re really enjoying yourself”

“Yeah. Everything’s really good”

“Yeah?” You stretch your legs out on your bedroom floor, and as you talk to him, you’ve been sketching in your notepad too, “How are the boys?”

He falls quieter, “Well…Jisung is still dealing with the fallout and backlash from that article. Did I ever tell you my company sued the media outlets who leaked the private information about him? All of his therapy notes and everything?”

“Yeonjun told me that there was some court case” You admitted, heart feeling heavy, “How’s that going?”

“It’s exhausting. There’s so many legal proceedings, but I have hope that Jisung will win the case”

You don’t know too much about this works, “Do you have to testify too?”

“If it comes to that, I will. Jisung wants me to stay out of that spotlight though. He says I’ve already been through enough with my hiatus”

You nod, “Then that’s probably for the best”

“I have to be careful though. The media seems to have a personal vendetta against us right now”

“God. That must be scary. Just take care of yourself”

“I am. Don’t worry. But the other day it was crazy, they surrounded our dorm and it made it impossible to leave”

Your eyes widen, “That doesn’t sound too safe. Can’t the company do something?”

He nods, “Our managers take care of it, but not much else can be done. The area outside our dorm is a public space. Legally, anybody can hang out there, and nothing can stop them from waiting for us”

You sighed, putting down your pencil, “You’re a saint for going through all of this, for your job”

He let out a bitter laugh, “It is my life, so I’m kind of used to it”

“That’s crazy” You mumble.

He nodded, “Hold on. They’re calling me in for the fitting now”

Your eyes widened, the prospect of him dressed up exciting you already, “Did they already show you the outfits you have to wear?”

He hummed, “They told me the theme too. You’ll love it.”

“Tell me”

He laughed, “I gotta go”

“Wait, what?” You protest, but he hangs up before telling you.

The pictures arrived at an unassuming time, catching you off guard.

Hyunjin had sent you ten different photos. You’d been wondering what the theme could have been for the past few hours, but it became very obvious as you scrolled through them all.

2000s fashion. 

Of fucking course.

In the first photo that you see, he was in a cropped jacket, the fabric shimmering under the changing room lights. His phone was held in front of his face, hiding his features and his hair was pushed back by a hairband. He still managed to make it look so sexy.

You stopped everything you were doing, scrolling through the myriad of pictures and outfits he’d bombarded you with.

The denim jeans fit snugly on his hips, patchwork across the thighs. 

You scrolled to the last one, and the jacket was unzipped. You realised why he’d said you would love it. He revealed a cropped baby blue t-shirt, with rhinestones across the hem. The shirt rose enough to show his bellybutton piercing and clenched abs.

You held your breath, staring at the pictures. A thin choker adorned his neck too, and he was slightly smirking in the picture.

He wanted you dead.

you:

wow.

hyun

is that all?

the photoshoot just ended so im going back

you:

i don’t really know what else to say

you look really fucking hot…like you’re so gorgeous in that

the outfit is…perfect on you

but i can’t imagine you ever wearing it here

it’s not your style, right?

hyun:

haha 

you know me so well

i really hate crop tops lol

but …

you

but?

hyun

i know you too :)

so i took a picture just for you

He sent it to you, making your heart stop.

In it, he was sat on the fitting room bench, legs spread. But this time…the rhinestone choker wasn’t around his neck anymore.

It was held between his teeth. 

It was so fucking sexy, you sat up in bed, staring at it, a feeling shooting through your body. You have to remind yourself how to breathe. You don’t reply for a few minutes, and he texts you again.

hyun

what, you have nothing to say now?

He’s so fucking cocky, but it makes you dizzy.

you

i hate you for that picture

hyun 

haha

i knew you’d love it 

»»————-

The next few days were a blur, and you felt a frenzied mess, like you were falling in love with him all over again. 

Hyunjin in Daejon was…a sweetheart, but Hyunjin in Seoul…was a fucking menace. 

You don’t know what it was that changed.

He’d tease you more often, exuding a calm confidence that tortured you at nights. 

Even though you couldn’t talk to him as often, the moments that you did were special. He’d send you pictures, snippets of his day, voice messages about how the album was going or random things the boys did at the dorm.

You lived through him.

In turn, you sent him parts of your life.

The way the sunset set perfectly against the Creek, the exorbitantly rich guests at the Château that were dressed to the nines, the sketches you drew and left unfinished but still sent him.

You found out through Seungmin that Hyunjin had donated all of his leftover paints to The Château, which were worth hundreds of dollars, just so they wouldn’t go to waste while he was away. You were once again, struck by how kind he was to have thought of that.

On mundane nights, he’d send you audio recordings of their unreleased songs, pictures from the studio of him, headphones slung around his neck, tired and weary eyes.

You tried to keep each other updated, not that there was much happening in your life at the moment. Still, you’d send him pictures of you with Yeonjun, of the store, of his favourite order at the diner. 

Every notification, every ping on your phone would send lightning through your veins, knowing it was him on the other end. 

In the days that followed, you heard his voice less, and instead read about his day in wrapped-up summary text messages, paragraphs that flowed for hours, leaving you to scroll through your phone. You’d make it a habit to sit in your favourite booth in the diner, as your paper straw turned soggy in the milkshake, you’d type out every single one of your thoughts. 

Vicariously, he lived through it too.

Your texts with him flowed like a personal diary, a newsletter on all the gossip in Daejon. You told him about the time you bumped into Hana at the diner, and she smiled at you, and you didn’t know what to do.

Somehow, he feels guilty for the rift between you and her, but you tell him it’s not his fault. If your friendship could be broken up by just a boy, it clearly wasn’t strong enough.

But then the next time you see her at the diner, she comes and sits across you.

You’re so shocked that you can barely process it, and she seems unsure too.

“Is there something wrong?” You asked her.

“Does something have to be wrong for me to talk to you?” She replied.

You shrugged, “Considering the last time we spoke—”

“I heard Hyunjin left town. Are you okay?”

You frown, feeling defensive, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You two were close” She stated, obviously, “Everybody in town knows that”

Maybe it’s your closeness with Hyunjin that makes you feel brave.

You want to say something mean. 

You want to say something honest. 

Everybody in town also thinks he cheated on her with you, after everything she said at the Lakehouse party. 

After she yelled at you in front of everyone.

But you’re past that, so you don’t say it.

“I don’t really care what everybody in town thinks”

It’s tamer than what you had in mind, but it has the same intended effect.

Her eyebrows shoot up, and she’s clearly not expecting that response.

“That doesn’t sound like you” She finally said.

“Yeah, well maybe you don’t know who I am anymore. You haven’t talked to me in months”

“I’m sorry. Yeonjun coming back to town threw me off the loop. You know I never got over him”

“That doesn’t mean you can just take it out on me. I told you that night that…that I got rejected from an apprenticeship I’ve always wanted. You didn’t even ask me about that”

She sighed, running her hands through her hair, “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t really know what you want me to say. I’m not gonna apologise for being upset”

“That’s not what I’m asking you to do, Hana” 

“Then what are even saying? It’s been weeks since that fight. I thought you’d moved on from it”

You stare at her. The innocence in her big eyes, the curls in her hair, the princess corset top she had on. It doesn’t affect you anymore. You used to get so hurt by the things she said. So personally offended. You want to confront her, and tell her about it. You want her to know that she hurt you, but you’re so sick of drama, and of confrontations.

Right now, you feel past it. 

The past few months and all of the things she said still hurt you, and maybe one day you can make things up with her. You just don’t think that day is today.

So you stood up, and she stared at you, confused.

Grabbing your bag and sketchbook, you mumbled, “You’re right, Hana. I have moved on from this”

»»————-

One day, Hyunjin sends you a new painting he worked on.

It’s a vase of flowers. Dahlia.  

It’s rendered beautifully. The shadows, the texture of the petals, and the lighting on the glass.

“When do you even get the time?” As soon as he called you, you asked him, “You’re getting so much better, Hyunjin. I’m serious, like the art you made here…this is already on another level from that”

He smiled, “Are you proud of me?”

“Of course”

“Can you tell me how I can get better?”

You don’t feel too worthy of sharing your knowledge, and you tell him that. After all, you’re not an expert or anything. 

He shuts you down instantly.

“You’ve been painting since before you could talk” He replied, “I want your opinion, Y/N”

You sighed, staring at the picture, “I think your shadows are getting better. Have you tried using a wider brush for the water, with thick bristles? I think the ripples will blend much easier”

“Really?” He asked, “I think right now, it looks too fake somehow”

“Yeah, but I think that’s because you’ve drawn out every wave and the lines are too sharp. Try blending the edges so it fades naturally, okay?”

“Okay, I’m gonna try that this weekend”

“I’m really glad you make time to paint, Hyunjin”

He laughed, “It’s a necessity. I lose myself in it, and it’s just me and the canvas for all those hours. Nothing else matters”

“Sounds familiar” You smiled, “Maybe one day, if you have time, we can paint on video call together”

And then he called you that very weekend.

The computer screen illuminated your face and his, as you painted in the dead of the night. You were set up in your bedroom, an assortment of paintbrushes and watercolours surrounding you. You painted with your fingers, often getting distracted by Hyunjin across the screen. 

His space was cleaner, more organised because he had less space to work with. A bag of chips lay at your side and you pushed your hand into it, lazily munching on it as you watched him frown over a color choice. 

“I think you’re going to love the song I’m working on with Chan” He said, after a while.

“Yeah?” 

“It’s…a sexy, contemporary kind of R&B. I can imagine you liking it”

You only have one, predictable question, “When can I hear it?” 

He laughed, “We’re still writing it”

You hummed, focusing on blending the ocean in your canvas, dabbing at your canvas to experiment with a new style. You savour the moments, because he hardly has this time.

“Can I say something cheesy?” He asked, and you look up to see that he’s sipping on some drink. A fancy cocktail that Chan probably made him. In the back, you can see his bed, and his things, and you wish you can see his room in Seoul. 

You want to know what he decorates it with, and what clutter he has there.

“Yeah?”

The way he’s leaning over his webcam, you can see into his shirt. The navy button-up is loose, and the top few buttons are undone. The sleeves are rolled up, which was probably a good decision since his arms are stained with pink paint. His hands are busier too, with more rings and more bracelets on them.

Hyunjin’s more boujee in the city too.

His cheeks are suddenly red as he confesses, “When I get stuck in the middle of the writing process, I think of you, and it really helps”

You sat up on your knees, cherishing this new bit of information, “What do you think about?”

He flushed, “You know…just our time together. Chan teases me about it. He says you’re my muse or whatever”

He doesn’t say much more, but he’s so shy so you don’t ask. You don’t react as much as you want to either. You want to jump, or scream, or kick your feet giggling. 

It’s a moment you etch into your brain forever.

You’re his muse, and it’s fitting because he’s always been yours.

As the hour passed, your focus grew, and you almost forgot he was on the other side. Almost.

Hyunjin is focused too, and he’s humming a familiar tune. The call lasts for over two hours, and it’s the most you’ve talked to him recently. 

When you’re both done, you show him your canvas; he shows you his, and you marvel at his improvement. He’s painted a beautiful lighthouse, ocean waves crashing into the rocks, and he explained every color choice to you. 

You could hear him talk about his art forever, and you sit in awe, as he expressed his reasoning behind every aspect. He’s gotten so much better at art, and he’s really a prodigy. 

You then do the same, lifting your canvas up to show him the landscape, and he leans in really close to the camera, eyes wide as he takes it in.

“That’s beautiful” He mumbles, still staring at your painting, “I don’t know how you do it so well every time”

You smiled, because art was your favourite thing in the world, and Hyunjin complimenting it made your heart swell.

He was suddenly smiling, and he said, “I…also visited an art gallery last week. I met someone” 

Your eyebrows shot up, and your smile fell so fast.

People only said that in one specific context. When they were into someone.

“You met someone?”

“Yeah” Hyunjin smiled, “She’s…this prodigy. Chan introduced me to her, she’s so young and she’s actually the owner of the entire place and guess what she said to me?”

You didn’t want to know.

“I don’t know” You replied, hoping your indifference wasn’t visible.

“She said one day I could display my own work up there. Isn’t that fucking insane? I mean, I just started out with art”

“How does she know your work?” 

He didn’t comment on your lack of excitement, but he just said, “Oh, Chan showed it to her. I was embarrassed, but it was worth it”

“That’s really nice of her” 

He nodded, “Yeah. She was really sweet. And oh! The reason I’m telling you this was because she used to intern for Kim Jieong, maybe she can help you out with the--”

“No, it’s okay” You’re quick to interrupt.

He then asked why you haven’t applied to another apprenticeship again. 

You put aside your paint supplies, you’d lost motivation anyway. You dragged your laptop onto your bed, as you told him, “I told you. I’m not really confident, and I’m not looking forward to another rejection”

He stopped you before you can continue, “You’ve got nothing to lose then. Please, at least try. For me”

He’s sleepy, and his eyes kept closing, but he stayed up just to convince you.

You sighed, “Fine. I’ll apply, but don’t expect anything, please. You’ll be disappointed”

“You could never disappoint me” 

»»————-

Your days unfolded with a slow pace, summer fading away into the months of autumn. 

You found solace in your friends — in movie nights with Minho, in spending time with Yeonjun before he had to go back to work. After all, there was only so long he could be on vacation for. He had to go back to where he belonged. 

It was easier to not miss Hyunjin when you were occupied, busy with your endless shifts, navigating between finding time to paint but also to enjoy the leftovers of summer. 

The night they finished recording the album, Hyunjin called you drunk.

You’d seen him tipsy on a few occasions, but never like this.

He was laughing about something when you picked up, talking to other people at the party. The background was loud, and you struggle to hear anything. 

“Hyun?” 

“Guess what?” He asked you.

“What?”

“We finished the album. Like, for real. Every track is actually ready” He announced, and you hear a cacophony of sounds in the background, “We’re at my manager’s apartment, all of us, and the whole crew. It feels so fucking good”

“Congratulations” You smile, “That’s…really cool”

“Jisung made me drink…far too much” He giggled, “I liked the wine though, Chan found it in this cool store but then me and Binnie…we did body shots, and guess what? Chan fucking did body shots too! It was so insane. He also invited the girl from the art gallery, which is so funny. Apparently, she has connections in our industry too. She’s the daughter of --” 

“Wait, you did body shots?” You interrupted him, not really wanting to hear about the very successful artist prodigy girl in his life.

“It was insane. Just like Seungmin told us”

You could tell he was walking around the room, because he’d randomly trail off and talk to someone.

The more he rambled on the other side of the phone, the more you wished you were by his side. He must be standing near the speakers, because suddenly his voice would get drowned out by the music.

“I…can’t hear you, Hyun” You spoke, snuggling into your blanket. 

Your bed was the stark contrast of where he was right now; in a room full of pounding music, and you wondered what kind of parties they even had, or how wild they were. If they did body shots, they must already be pretty wild.

“Sorry” He apologised, walking off to a quieter area, “Can you hear me now?”

“Yeah, I can”

“Fuck. I miss you so fucking much” He suddenly mumbled, voice dropping, “Why aren’t you here?”

“I miss you too” Your heart squeezed, “But you should get back to the party—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is that Y/N?” A loud voice interrupted, and you heard a loud struggle on the other end, making you pull back from the phone.

“Give me the phone back, Changbin!” Hyunjin yelled.

You sat up in bed, “Hello?”

“Hey!” Changbin’s voice was louder than you expected, and he sounded really drunk too, “You must be the girl who stole him away from us for months and months. I have every reason to hate you”

“Stop!” Hyunjin spoke in the background, “Don’t announce it to the entire party”

“Now you’ve taken him back though” You replied to Changbin.

“Eh, you’re right” He laughed, “So tell me, on a scale of 1 to 10—”

“Changbin, give me my phone back!” Hyunjin sounded exasperated, and you could imagine them running after each other.

“Let me finish!” He groaned, and then his voice became clearer again, “On a scale of 1-10, how big of a dumbass is Hwang Hyunjin for—?”

“Fuck. Is that her?” Another person interrupted in the background, and you felt overwhelmed by the multitude of voices. 

“Jisung, can you please ask him to give me my phone back?” Hyunjin sounded annoyed now, voice further.

“I’m sorry, this prick won’t let me talk to you for five whole minutes!” Changbin apologised, and you’d never met him but his energy seemed exactly like you’d imagined.

Still, you could hear Jisung in the background, struggling after the phone, and it made you feel special. They were miles away at a fucking album party, but gave their attention to you.

“Is that Hyunjin’s girlfriend?”

Your eyes widened at the word.

Hyunjin’s frustrated drawl interrupted, further away from the speaker but you still heard it, “Stop, Jisung. She’s just my friend. How many times do I have to say that, and don’t announce it to the party!”

Your smile faded, stupidly. He was right. 

“Then I can have her?” Changbin interrupted.

There was another scuffle, until Hyunjin was at the phone again, “Hey, I’m so sorry. They…took you hostage”

A breathy chuckle followed, drowned out by his friends laughs in the background.

“That’s okay. Don’t worry about it” You fiddled with your blanket, “You should enjoy the party, Hyun”

“No, no, I called you because I missed you”

“I can’t really even hear you” You spoke, “We can just talk tomorrow. Please just have a good time tonight, okay?”

“All right. I’ll call you later” Hyunjin spoke, like he was distracted by someone.

“Who are you talking to you?” An unknown voice interrupted, and you guessed they were probably talking to Hyunjin.

And you heard Hyunjin mumble, “Nobody” before he hung up.

You laid back in bed, and it was too quiet, and you felt lonelier than ever.

»»————-

Fallen leaves drifted in the pool, from the canopy up above. One drifts towards you, and you picked it up in your hands, watching the water seep through the half-eaten leaf. It’s orange.

“The leaves are already changing color…or is it just me?”

“It’s just you” Minho answered, and you roll your eyes.

“What are you doing here all by yourself?” He asked, swimming over to you, “The rest of the party is over there”

“I’m not really interested in playing” You told him, looking over to where everyone indulged in a pool volleyball game.

“So you’re out here looking at leaves. God, I’m lucky to be your best friend”

“Shut up” You shove him, and he laughs, falling into the water.

As soon as he resurfaces, he splashes you.

“Don’t be annoying, Minho” You mumbled, rubbing the saltwater out from your eyes.

“You’re no fun” He grumbles, and lays on his back to float in the water.

You stare at the leaves floating around you again, drifting into a pattern, and a sole flower is in between them. A dahlia.

“Can’t believe summer is almost over” You remark.

“You sure made the most of it though, Y/N” He smiled, eyes squinting against the bright overhead sun. You don’t respond, and he lifts his head to look at you.

“What?” He asked, “You can’t deny that it’s the most eventful summer we’ve ever had”

You peered down at your nails, the paint was chipping off, “Right. Losing my best friends sure is memorable”

“You didn’t lose them, Y/N”

You gestured to the space around you, that usually would be occupied by Hana or Felix, “I don’t see them here”

Minho sighed, swimming closer to you, “What’s got you in such a mood?”

You shook your head, feeling silly for feeling this way, “Nothing” 

He rolled his eyes, “Tell me”

You sighed, fixing the straps of your bikini to avoid looking him in the eye, “Hana tried to talk to me a few days ago. She wanted to fix things, but I didn’t. Does that make me a horrible person?”

“Do you feel like a horrible person?”

You looked up at him, “No. I…chose my peace over another fight. I think I made the right decision”

“You knew the answer to that already, Y/N. Then what is bothering you?”

“Fine. Hyunjin called me last night, from the release party” 

“And that’s a bad thing…why?”

“Not really, I guess it put things into perspective. He’s…out there being successful and celebrating that success, and I’m here, doing absolutely nothing.”

“You’re at a pool party with me. That’s not nothing”

“You know what I mean” You sighed, leaning against the pool wall, “He’s probably even going to display his stuff at an art gallery soon. Some girl fell in love with his art…and he’s always busy…in a totally insane location, or doing something so fucking cool, and I’m in the stupid art shop”

His texts have been less than frequent. You understand, because he’s swamped with work. The press tour has been underway for a week now, and if he wasn’t at some fancy magazine building, he was probably holed up in the studio for re-recordings. There’s still time till the album's release, and if you know anything about the band, they’re perfectionists. They’ll work themselves to the bone, till the end.

“Well, yeah. He’s…an idol, with a crazy fucking life. You’re living a normal life. He would probably give everything to exchange places with you, and not have anything to do”

“I guess you’re right” You realised, and you glance up to see Yeonjun.

He’s laughing loudly, sunglasses on his head, as he throws the ball to the other team. He’s leaving soon, and this pool party is a going away gift. After all, he’s the only one of your friends with a pool. Yeonjun looks happy, and beautiful in the sun. It was low-key, exactly like Yeonjun wanted it, and you’re so glad Minho and him are on talking terms again.

“And I don’t believe you. That’s not why you’re upset” Minho spoke, blocking the boy from your view.

“Why can’t you just take my word for it?”

“Because I know when you’re lying to me. So tell me, what’s got you being so bitchy to your only friend within 35 miles?”

“Ouch!” He yelled, when you pushed him again.

“Stop being a smartass”

“You’ve been floating on cloud nine the past few weeks, what’s wrong now?”

You stare back at Yeonjun, as he dives to retrieve his sunglasses, and his other friends are teasing him.

“I never told you but I applied to an apprenticeship in the city” You blurted.

Minho’s eyebrows shot up, “What? Today?”

“No…a few months ago. At the start of summer” 

His brows were furrowed, confused, “Oh”

“That’s kind of why I’ve been working all these jobs…so I could save up one day and move to the city”

He swam closer to you, “Why are you telling me this now?”

You shrugged, and the water feels nice and calm around you, “I thought you’d hate me for it”

He’s quiet for a few minutes, “That’s not true. I’d like to think I’ve grown from when Yeonjun left. I mean I’m at his party right now. Isn’t that saying a lot?”

You smiled at him, “That’s probably why I’m telling you now”

Minho laughed, “So did you get it?”

“Nope” You sighed, “I wasn’t good enough for it”

“What, so you’ve given up already?”

You frowned, “No, but I’m still waiting on them to hear back. I contacted them again regarding my application”

Minho smiled, “Hyunjin knows, right?”

“Yeah”

“Of course he knows. You tell him literally everything. I’m gonna have to fight him one day”

You laughed, “I’d pay to see that”

He reaches forward, picking out a leaf stuck in your hair, “You really miss him, huh?”

“I hate texting him. It’s so impersonal and distant”

“Have you video-called him?”

You sighed, “Through my shitty computer screen, yeah”

“I think you need a vacation, Y/N” He laughs.

“I’ve been on vacation, like for months”

“No, I mean a vacation, away from your job, away from Daejon. Just go see him”

Your eyes widen and you looked at him, “Isn’t that a bit crazy? I mean, we’re not dating”

He rolled his eyes, leaning back in to float, “The day you stop worrying about what other people think, is the day you’ll live a much better life, Y/N”

He then begins talking about other things, but his words stick in your head, and an idea begins to form.

»»————-

You help Yeonjun pack, and on his last night in town, you sit on his couch again, talking about everything that was. He tells you of his consistent fights with Hana, and his efforts to rekindle their relationship which went in vain. It’s strange to think he came back to town, just to make things right with her.

He tells you that him and Hana have grown apart, and perhaps they were never meant to be together. 

He says that he’s letting Hana go, and it’s a bittersweet moment which you drink to. 

You think nothing could make you let go of Hyunjin.

When you get really tipsy, you fantasise of him even more, and scroll back through your chats, reading his old texts, smiling to yourself. Yeonjun catches you, and calls you a hopeless romantic, and you’ve never thought of yourself that way, but it rings true. 

You both lay in bed, and you talk until he has to go, and you realise how much you hate goodbyes.

»»————-

The next time Hyunjin texted you, you were sat at the steps of the art shop, waiting for the rain to pass. 

hyun

hey

sorry ive been filming all day

you

ohh, what have you been filming?

didn’t the album recording finish last week?

hyun

ah no the press tour is still left 

you

oh right, sorry I have no idea how this stuff works lol

hyun

right now we’re doing some promo content for a teen magazine 

after this we still need to go to a music video shoot

It’s for an american talk show

isn’t that crazy?

you

wow…

you’re going to be so popular

but i hope you can get some sleep

hyun

we’re filming till 4 am tonight

i doubt it

what are you up to?

you

um im stuck at aeras because of the rain :/

i always forget to carry an umbrella

hyun

you miss me?

You stared at the text, tears inexplicably filling your eyes, and you don’t know why.

It had only been a few weeks since he was gone, yet it felt like he was drifting away.

Of course you missed him.

You missed him an insane amount, and ever since he’d been gone, you’d been going through the motions of daily life, not even really enjoying anything.

He was so far away. 

You’d tried to not let the sadness overtake you, because it was silly and childish.

You missed his calming voice, and his hand in yours, and the taut string of tension between you every time you met.

You missed the uncertainty of Hyunjin.

The not-knowing.

With him, you could never tell. It could be a mundane afternoon, until it wasn’t. Until his hands were around you, and you were kissing, and you knew it was so wrong to be attached to that.

Your phone buzzed, and he was calling you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Hey” You mumbled, your voice softer and shakier than you intended.

“Is everything okay…?”

“Yeah” You swallowed, “Sorry, I was just about to reply”

“No, don’t worry. I just got worried. I thought—” He trailed off.

“What did you think?”

“I thought I crossed a boundary…or something”

You paused, trying to comprehend his words. All he’d done was ask you if you missed him. How could that be a boundary when you and Hyunjin had said so much more? Done so much more? 

Was missing each other not even okay anymore? Was it too much for him?

Another sob threatened to break at the implication.

“Y/N? Are you still there?” He asked, voice soft and calm, not knowing the storm it brewed inside you.

You mumbled, “Yes, I’m here”

“Okay” He spoke, letting you breathe.

“I’m sorry, I just…I guess I miss you more than I thought I would” You admitted, hoping it wouldn’t be too much for him. That it wouldn’t push him away.

“Oh” 

“Yeah”

“I…miss you too, Y/N” 

It calmed your racing heart.

“I wish I could see you” You fumbled through the words, “It’d make me feel so much…better”

Hyunjin was quiet for a while, “I’m sorry”

“It’s…not your fault” A smile graced your lips, because he had no reason to apologise for your lives being so separate from each other.

“It is. I’m sorry I’ve been away…I got really caught up with everything here. Seeing my friends again, having this life back, it was more overwhelming than I thought. But don’t worry…I’m doing really well here”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been painting a lot more when I’m free, or when I’ve had a horrible day”

Your heart clenched at his tone, and the implication that it was only a few weeks since he was gone but he’d already had multiple horrible days. 

“Yeah? I’m glad it helps. That means…coming home wasn’t a waste”

“A waste?” He repeated, confused, “Why would you say that?”

You pulled at your laces, watching the rain fall at your footsteps, “Nothing, Hyunjin. It doesn’t matter”

“You seem…upset. Did I say something wrong?”

You pulled your knees up to your chest, away from the pitter patter of the drops, “I told you. I really wish you were here. I know it’s impossible”

“Yeah…”

“This morning, I was watching the news…about Jisung’s trial. How’s it going?”

“It’s…okay. He’s so tired already, he kind of just wants to settle but the company lawyers are pushing for more”

“I’m sorry. That sounds so exhausting” You bite your lip, because their lives are already as stressful as they could get, and this legal battle plays in the backdrop like a nuisance.

“They’re also restricting a lot of shit for us. We have to be careful each time we step out in public, and Jisung even has to monitor every phone call…same with Chan and Kairi”

“How long is it going to last?”

“Hopefully not too long, but anyway, that’s not important right now at all. You sound upset. How are you?” He asks, voice becoming softer all of a sudden.

You fear you’re going to sound like a broken record if you tell him you miss him again. These days you seem to fill all your silences with just those words. Would he get sick of hearing them? Is this how long distance relationships are like? Endlessly telling each other you miss them, but never being able to do anything about it.

Instead, you end up saying something absolutely crazy, “Hyun, can I come see you?”

You don’t intend for the words to leave your brain, much less your mouth. In fact, you didn’t even know you were going to say them. You haven’t had time to plan, but Minho’s conversation rings through you. You’ve been saving up to go to Seoul your whole life. You can spare a vacation. It would be worth it if it means you see him.

Hyunjin is quiet, and then he breaks the silence with a chuckle, “W-what?”

“Um, sorry that sounds out of nowhere. I just…I really want to meet you. I miss you, and it sounds like you’re going through a lot. Maybe it’ll help” You trail off, leaving the suggestion up in the air.

“I…I’m not sure, Y/N”

You nod, because it is crazy, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Fuck, I’m so sorry but I…I don’t think I can meet you. Right now, with everything that’s going on, I honestly don’t have the time and…” He trails off.

You nod again, “Yeah. I understand”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. It’s bad timing”

“It’s bad timing” He repeats, yet his tone is definitive and final.

You can’t seem to see a time in the future which would get better. After the album release, he was going to go on a press tour, and then start preparing for the next album, the music videos, the solo photoshoots…the world tour.

Hyunjin was never going to have time for this, and your throat becomes clogged with a broken dream.

He sighed, softly, “How are you going to get home then, if it’s raining?”

“I’ll wait it out”

“What if it rains till morning?”

You smiled, your silence saying enough.

“I’ll stay with you” He says.

Your brows shot up, “What? Don’t you have…a schedule or an interview to get to?”

His voice came in softly, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll stay with you, till the rain ends”

Now, you wished it would never end.

»»————-

The incessant abuse of your doorbell woke you up. It had been pressed countless times, and it was half past nine. 

Why the hell would anybody come to see you this early?

Last night, Hyunjin had stayed on the call as you’d walked home by yourself. You didn’t talk the whole way, of course. In between, he would be quiet, and you’d only hear the rustling of papers and his pencil as he sketched away in his condominium. You’d hear his breaths, and occasionally, he’d say something. 

In moments like this, he was a man of few words. You appreciated that, because it was nice, to just exist with him. Although, you were slightly embarrassed at how many times you told him you missed him.

Turning over in your bed, you pushed the pillow over your head to make the noise disappear. 

A buzzing of your phone, followed by another short bursts of the doorbell made you sit up.

Who could be here to see you, so urgently, and so fucking impatiently?

“What the hell” You mumbled, getting out of bed, and rushing barefoot on the cold tiles, to answer, and in your sleepy daze you hoped it was him. That by some miracle, Hyunjin had heard your wishes and come to see you.

On the other side of the door, with bagels in hand, stood Felix. 

A hood pulled over his head to protect from the rain, he certainly looked a vision. 

Your sleep disappeared, in lieu of confusion, “Yongbok?”

He smiled, perfect teeth on display, “Morning. I…see that you were still asleep”

You hugged yourself, realising how exposed you were in your sleep shorts and tank. Although that had never been a problem around him before, “I mean yeah…it’s barely ten”

He cocked his head, “It’s almost noon”

“What?” Your heart dropped, “You’re kidding me”

“I’m really not” He laughed, and then said, “Are you going to let me in? It’s freezing out here”

You realised he was standing in the pouring rain, and you stepped back, “Oh, of course”

You still didn’t know what he was doing here, but years of friendship fell back into place and you let him in.

He pulled the hood off, shaking his hair to get the water out, and looked apologetic, “Sorry, I just showed up. I did try texting you, and I thought you’d be awake”

“I got in late last night” You told him, still standing against your open door, watching Felix in your foyer.

“Oh, were you stuck because of the rain? You could have called me, I’d have come picked you up” 

“No, that’s okay. I was on a call”

Realisation crossed his features, “Right. How is he?”

Slight irritation coursed through you, “I didn’t say it was him”

Felix nodded, looking genuinely apologetic, “Sorry. My mistake.”

But of course, he was right because it was Hyunjin you were talking to, but you wouldn’t admit that now, and you held back a groan. 

His eyes flickered over your body, “Why are you still standing at the door? You’ll catch a cold”

“What are you doing here?” You hugged yourself tighter, well-aware that you didn’t even have a bra on, “The last time I saw you, you said you didn’t want to be friends with me anymore”

His eyebrows shot up, and he stared at you.

For a second, you did regret it. It was too early to fight. It was too beautiful a morning for this.

Until he laughed, nervously, “Um…that’s not what I meant. Is that what you got from it?”

You frowned, “What?”

He shook his head, “Um, I guess I really didn’t get the point across. I thought you understood me that night. Isn’t that why you’re avoiding me?”

Your head hurt, “I’m not avoiding you…You’re confusing me, Felix. It’s too early for this”

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Hey, look, why don’t you get dressed, and take a shower, and I can make us some coffee…and heat up these bagels by then? After that, maybe we could talk?”

“Talk about what?”

You couldn’t understand him.

“About everything. I realise I’ve been apologising for my actions, but never really explaining why I acted that way this whole time”

But he had been your friend your entire life…so you would hear him out now.

»»————-

He sat at your breakfast table, warm bagels laid out across a plate, with two hot cups of coffee.

You sat across him, pulling your feet up, eyeing his movements.

It wasn’t alien to you…this kindness of his. He had done this countless times before, showed up at your house uninvited, but this time was different, of course.

“I really am sorry for waking you up. I genuinely thought you’d be awake, I thought you had a shift at Aera’s”

“I haven’t had a shift at Aera’s on Tuesday, ever” You responded.

“Oh” He laughed, “Maybe I should have memorised your work schedule back when you started working there…I guess I always assumed it was a temporary job”

You bit into a bagel, unable to hold back your hunger, and it instantly melted in your mouth. A rush of endorphins flooded through you, and you sat back for a minute, letting the taste sit with you, letting your body wake up.

Felix watched you, a soft smile on his face, “You like them?”

“You didn’t have to bake these for me” You spoke, staring at your feet, perched on the chair.

“But I did” He reached his hand out, across the table, “How are you doing?”

You glanced up at him, “I’m…fine”

He frowned, “Your eyes are all swollen. I know what that means”

You pulled your hand back from his, “It’s nothing. I’m just tired of summer”

He sat back, eyebrows raised, “Those are words I never thought I’d hear from you”

“Well…you won’t really understand, Lix”

He slid the cup of coffee towards you, “Try me” 

You stared at him, eyes flickering between his, and then reached forward for the cup, “I don’t know. I feel tired of everything lately. I don’t really want to make an effort to go out. I go to work, and back, and so on. It’s kind of a futile existence”

“I go to the Creek every night. You can come with me”

You hugged yourself, “Yeah, but I just feel like there’s more I should be doing”

His tongue poked his cheek, “You mean…that art apprenticeship” 

You glanced up at him, heart heavy, “I lost that”

“I’m sorry. You could have told me, you know?”

You’ve been hearing that a lot recently, but you know keeping it a secret was the only way it could have worked. He said he would have understood, but you knew him better than that.

“I was afraid of losing you, but…” You laughed, “That happened anyway”

He shook his head, pulling his chair closer to yours, “At the drive-in theatre, when I said I didn’t want us to be friends again…I didn’t mean it like that. There was more I wanted to say, which I couldn’t”

“Wow, you’re really getting right to it”

He laughed, “What? So, would you prefer we talk about nonsense for another hour? I know why I’m here, I’d feel better if you know too”

You weren’t sure you wanted to hear this, but you nodded, “Keep going”

“I guess what I wanted to say was…” He paused, and when your eyes met his, you realised he was actually nervous.

“Yeah?”

His eyes squeezed shut, and then opened, “I was really fucking jealous”

“Of…what?”

He laughed, a sound you’d loved all these years, “Of…Hyunjin. Obviously. Who else?”

“Felix…we talked about this. You have nothing to be jealous about. Just because he’s in my life now, does not mean you can’t be”

He laughed, “No, that’s not what I’m jealous of. I don’t really care if he’s in your life”

“Then what?” 

He sighed, leaning forward, and this angle put him in the path of sunlight. It lit up his face, highlighting the freckles splashed across his nose bridge, and his cheeks, and you saw his lips part to form the words, “You love him.”

Confusion arising, you frowned, “Felix—”

“Let me finish” He laughed, “It’s…been obvious for months”

You were embarrassed, to say the least.

He tilt his head, “Has it not been obvious to you?” 

Your face flushed, from the frustration and the embarrassment, “What, my feelings for him?”

“No. My feelings for you"

He said it so simply.

So fucking simple, and you couldn’t even react.

You sat there, looking at him.

Putting together his words in your mind. Again. And Again.

You misheard him. You had to.

“Yongbok”

“It is what you think it is” He paused, “I really thought that you knew”

“You…” A nervous laugh escaped you, and it wasn’t your proudest moment, “You have feelings for me? You’re fucking with me, right?”

You wanted to ask why. But you didn’t.

“Since when?”

“I don’t know” He leaned back, “I…didn’t really realise it until, well, this summer”

“Oh”

“Yeah” He swallowed, “But I know that you don’t feel the same, and I was acting stupid. It was dumb of me”

You stared at him and don’t know how you didn’t realise this. How did you not put two and two together? You felt so fucking dumb for missing all the hints, and all the clues. 

“Yongbok. I…um, I don’t know what to say. Sorry, I’m just…overwhelmed and confused”

"You don’t have to say anything” He laughed, “You’re like…my best friend in the fucking universe. I know that doesn’t sound like much, because I mean, we’re twenty and best friends makes it sound like we’re in elementary, but it’s true. You’re literally the most consistent person in my life, and I’m always fucking happy around you. Not just happy, but at peace. I’m happy with Hana, and Minho, and Eunbi too, but with you, it’s like I’m home.”

You couldn’t look him in the eye, “Felix…”

“I’m sorry for all the times I yelled at you. I’m fucking terrible at holding back my frustration, and I was still navigating my…emotions. I could lie and say I never meant to hurt you when we had all those arguments, but I did. I did want you to feel the kind of hurt I did. That’s probably the biggest red flag” He laughed, “But holy shit, Y/N, you have no idea what it took for me to tell you this. With him being here, I just couldn’t because that’s so fucking cliche, it’d be like I was asking you to choose”

You stared at him, uncomfortable, unable to comprehend the extent of his words, “You should have told me”

“I’m telling you now. I know it’s awkward for you, but I have nothing to lose” He chuckled, “I’m not asking you out, or anything. I just want you to know because it was driving me crazy keeping it to myself. In fact, I was never planning to tell you, but the night of my birthday party, during that stupid spin the bottle game, when we kissed, I thought you felt the same”

You remembered the kiss. 

It had surprised you how much you liked it.

“I mean, you’re a really good kisser” You admitted, picking from crumbs from the bagel.

He laughed, “Am I?”

“Yeah” 

“I try” He smirked, and you know he was trying to lighten the mood. It was so typical of him to make jokes out of an awkward situation, “You’re a really good kisser too. I know after the party, I gave you a 7.5 on the kissing scale, but…I was obviously kidding”

You looked up at him, “Really?”

He nodded, still smiling, “I’m sure Hyunjin would agree with me”

Just like that, the bubble popped.

Your smile fell.

“Sorry” He apologised, “You guys have kissed, right?”

“Yeah”

“And he still went back to Seoul?” He laughed, “Man, being an idol really sucks”

“Yongbok…”

“Okay” He laughed, “I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you laugh”

You didn’t know what this was, or what to make of it.

What are you supposed to say that? You felt an obligation, to return his feelings, despite all the arguments you had in the recent months, you wish you could return them. 

You didn’t want to be the one breaking his heart, or anybody’s. 

Is this how Hyunjin would feel if you’d told him you loved him? 

Would you have also lightened your inevitable rejection by stupid humour? 

You don’t know what you can possibly say to Yongbok, to make things okay.

So later, when he’s helping you wash the cups, foam-filled hands, you ask him, “Are you going to be okay?”

Yongbok looks up at you, a soft smile on his features, and you again realise how beautiful he looked in the sunlight. His skin is lit up, a kindness in his eyes has returned, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, and he tells you he’s okay.

He tells you not to worry, and that you owe him nothing. He then dips his hand in the foamy sink, reaching up to smear some on your nose, a childlike laughter filling your kitchen.

You wonder if you would feel the same relief, if you confessed the truth to Hyunjin.

»»————-

Your phone rings later that evening, and it’s Hyunjin.

He asks you if you’re okay, and if you’re better than you were yesterday.

You were on the brink of tears last night.

Today, you are better.

Yongbok’s words come back to you, and you wonder why you don’t love him. It sure would have made everything a little easier. 

Everything makes sense now, the way he’s been acting all summer, his behaviour around Hyunjin, and you feel a little stupid for being so oblivious to it.

When you drift off into thought, Hyunjin asked you again, if you were okay.

“I met Yongbok” You responded.

His voice lit up, at your rekindled friendship, “Yeah? What did you guys do?”

You tell him about the bagels, and the coffee, and because you can never keep anything from Hyunjin, you end up blurting, “He told me he loves me. That he has his entire life”

You don’t know why you say it. You’re looking for a reaction. Or for consolation.

But Hyunjin is quiet on the other end, and he doesn’t say much for the rest of the night, and you wonder if you should have just kept it to yourself.

»»————-

Hyunjin doesn’t call you the next day, or the next, or the one after that. 

You try to distract yourself, stealing away work hours into painting. 

Each brushstroke soothed you, and you pour out your emotions. 

Unrequited love is a bitch, and you feel guilty every time you see Felix, but he’s more than okay. You can’t imagine being the same. 

Your paintings end up all looking really sad. They make you feel sad when you look at them, and you realise you’re only painting of longing.

Hyunjin finally texts you.

It’s only to tell you that Chan and Kairi broke up.

He doesn’t say much more, but he doesn’t have to.

You knew what they meant to them, and perhaps this breakup impacted him more than them.

You go back to painting your solitude. 

It’s calming, under the glow of your lamp, tucked in a corner of your room, you lose yourself in your art. 

Autumn is closer than it was yesterday, and it makes you sad. Summer is further away in your past now, and so is he.

Hyunjin’s texts get less frequent, as the days go by.

You feel obsessive, you feel just a little crazy.

You feel like a teenage girl waiting for her crush to call back.

Your heart breaks a little more with each hour that he doesn’t call.

You’re worried all the time, if he was okay.

You read about the scandals on the news, and the rumours on the internet, and some of them involve him but most of them involve Jisung. 

Yeonjun keeps you updated on the trial, and all the press outlets that Jisung has sued. 

Hyunjin doesn’t have space in his life for a relationship, but as days pass, it feels like he doesn’t for a friendship either.

hyun

hey yn

im so sorry

i’ve had a horrible schedule the past few days

they’re really trying to make up for everything I missed

i haven’t been sleeping much and i just…haven’t got much time on my phone

my managers have been really strict

they limit my activities on there

but don’t worry im okay

i spend most of my time in the studio

i miss you too. a lot

His replies soothe you, more than your own art ever could. 

You fall into a habit. You check the news each morning, even before your first sip of coffee, worried if he’s okay.

Hyunjin keeps telling you he’s fine, and you force yourself to believe him.

He sends you pictures of his art, and you notice how much he’s improved. He’s using all of the techniques you taught him. He’s painting about all of his days in your hometown.

Other nights, you don’t hear from him at all.

You feel it falling apart, and your heart breaks.

One day, he asks you about Yongbok again. 

You question if you should never have told him about the confession.

»»————-

The day his album releases, you listen to it before anybody in the world, or at least you’d like to believe so. 

It’s beautiful, and it’s raw. It’s a mix of every genre you can imagine. Hyunjin sings about love like he’s been in it. The album is more beautiful than you could anticipate, and you can already see the headlines surrounding it’s success.

Felix takes you to a store in Samhae, so you can purchase it for yourself, and when you find yourself in a line of twenty girls talking about him, you feel like fighting them.

You borrow Yuqi’s car, so you can push the CD into the stereo, and hear it before you can even get home.

The music Hyunjin makes is beautiful as him, and you hear the vocal fry, and the cadence he speaks with, and you fall in love with him even more.

It feels like cheating, as Felix sits in the passenger seat, listening to the same songs.

You wanted to ask him what he thinks of the album, but you hold back.

When you got home, you sat in the darkness of your room, and listened to it again, just by yourself. 

You called him to tell him what you think of it, but he’s at a party and he has no time for this. 

So you end up keeping your thoughts just to yourself. 

»»————-

You stared at the letter mail within your hands.

It arrived a few days ago, but you hadn’t noticed it until now.

It had been lying in your mailbox, gathering dust, and you stood on the sidewalk, wondering how you the hell you missed it.

It was from the city.

Your heart dropped into your gut, as you ripped open the envelope, making sure not to damage the contents inside.

You took a deep breath.

Holy shit.

It was going to be a rejection.

It had to be.

You stood absolutely still on the pavement, unfolding the letter. It’s so thin you’re afraid you’re going to rip it.

You can’t read this alone. You wish Hyunjin would here, it’d probably feel less scary.

But you can’t wait either. You need to know now.

You scanned the paper, yet your brain couldn’t comprehend the sentences, and skipped forward, registering only certain words. Like a record skipping.

A word stands out to you.

Congratulations.

And then you go back to the start of the letter, trying to make sense of what you just read, but your heart is already beating out of your chest and you think you’re going to pass out.

Congratulations.

Kim Jieong would be honoured to have you join him as an apprentice for his Fall Program in Painting at the Atelier of the Arts in Seoul, South Korea.

You reread the words until they were seared into your mind, and into your heart.

You read them until the paper became wet with droplets, and you realise you were crying. 

On the side of the sidewalk. 

Then you read them again.

You folded the piece of paper into your pocket, and you texted the boy you loved.

hyunjin!

when can i call you?

i have something to tell you

it’s really important

You wait for his answer, but your message doesn’t deliver.

So you sat down on your front porch, trying to calm your heart but you’re bursting with excitement and anticipation. You’ve already texted Felix and Minho, but you’re only waiting for one person’s reaction.

You need to tell him now. 

He could be busy. He could be at work, or in bed, but you don’t care.

He has to be the first to know.

You find yourself dialling his number, and your hands are shaking, and your heart is trembling.

Hyunjin doesn’t pick up.

And you’re met with an unfamiliar message.

“We're sorry, you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.”

»»————-

THREE MONTHS LATER

»»————-

“Take my hand if you don’t wanna fall” 

You looked up, and Felix is smiling down at you, the sun a halo around his head.

He’s got pink skates on, and it suits him. 

The brightness of them stands out in the park.

“You’re awfully confident for someone who’s fallen over…thrice now?” Minho laughs, coming to stand next to you, arms on his hips.

“I’ll be fine, Lix” You smiled, tightening the laces of your roller-skates.

“Let me at least help you up” He insisted.

You nodned, letting him take your hand and pull you up. You’re inches from him when you stand up, and he smiled at you.

“See you at the rink in a few?” He tilt his head.

“I’ll see you, Lix”

He let go of your hand, and you miss the steadiness it gave you, but almost instantly Minho comes to your side. With a hand on your back, he leads you to the rink. You’re still getting used to these roller-skates, and you’ve fallen over more than you’d liked.

“Aren’t you glad I dragged you out here?” He nudged you.

“Sure” You smiled at him, trying to match his pace. 

It’s a beautiful day at the park. There’s a harvest festival, where Felix bobbed for apples, and you cheered for him. Then Minho forced you all onto the rink, bringing you a new pair of skates since you couldn’t find your old ones. As you skated around the park with your friends, it almost feels like the old days.

The leaves had changed color.

The days were shorter now, and the sun hung low in the sky, the temperature dropping to single digits.

With the onset of fall, you stopped swimming in the Creek, and the fireflies disappeared, and you never left the house without a cardigan anymore. 

Aera’s kept you busy, and so did the weekends at The Château. You and Seungmin grew even closer, and you found joy in interacting with travelling tourists, searching for artistic pursuits and adventure in your little town. 

Felix explored his love for baking with you, and you recreated everything in his recipe book… except for the strawberry streusels. Yeonjun consistently kept in touch with, and told you of his life in the city, the drama in his workplace, and about the cute new girl that sat across him at work. 

You fell in love with the palette of autumn, and all your artworks became tinged with shades of orange and red. All of your sweaters became tainted with paint splatters, and the walls of your room became full with your memories of the summer.

“Are you going to take these with you? I bought them for you, full-price mind you” Minho asked you.

You sighed, “I don’t know”

“There has to be places in Seoul to skate in” He thought, and grabbed your hand so you can speed up. You smiled, feeling the wind on your face, desperately trying to not lose your balance.

“I don’t think I have space in my suitcase” You told him, as he stopped. 

Felix is on the other side, and he’s smiling at you. He looks cute, and he’s with his sister. She’s in matching pink rollerblades, and Felix has spent more than an hour teaching her how to skate.

There’s a couple next to them, and they’re holding hands and skating, and they keep kissing, and your chest hurts with the thought of him.

You haven’t been able to talk to him in months…

He doesn’t even know you got into the program.

His number changed, and he closed all of private social media.

“Hey?” Minho said, turning your head to look at him, and he can read your mind, “You’ll find him once you get to the city, it’s only a matter of time”

You frowned, “How? I don’t even know where he lives…I don’t even know if he’s okay”

“Well, you obviously know he’s alive” Minho joked, “He looks pretty good in all the interviews they did”

“I’m just worried about him” You mumbled, “It feels weird to go this long without hearing from him”

“It’s probably something with the company. Hyunjin told you how controlling they were, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, but…he’s not a kid. How can they control this shit in his life?”

You’ve had this same conversation millions of times before, over the past three months, but you still can’t understand what happened. You had tried every way to get in touch with him, but with how famous he was right now…it was impossible.

It’s not even like you can go to Facebook and add him as a fucking friend. 

“I can ask Felix to try” Minho asked.

“No” You insist, “It’s not gonna make a difference. It doesn’t matter anyway. I’ll see him soon”

You can’t help but have hope. At the beginning, you were worried, and then you were angry but now you’re just confused. You know he’d never change his contact information without telling you, or even Minho, or Seungmin. 

Something went wrong.

A huge reason you’re excited to go to Seoul, is so you can finally meet him, and know what happened, how he’s been, and if he’s okay.

You heard Felix call out to you.

“Wait, Y/N” Minho grabbed your arm, “I’m sure he’s even more upset than you”

Over the past few months, Minho has discussed all of his theories with you, about what could have happened. He’s so sure, that Hyunjin’s company is involved. You want to believe him, because there’s no way Hyunjin would do this.

“What are you two gossiping about?” Felix asked, skating over to you, and from where you stand, he really looked like a fairy, long hair blowing in the wind.

“Nothing important” You smiled at him, “Wanna skate with me now?”

“Always” He grinned. You let him take your hand, and pull you around the rink, guiding you through groups of friends, children and couples. 

“What are you wearing to the party tonight?” He asks, after a while, and his hand landed on your waist, helping you balance.

“Whatever outfit I haven’t packed” You admitted, honestly.

“Come on, you’re the star of the night” He spun in front of you, “You should wear the blue dress, the one you wore to Yeonjun’s party last year”

Tonight is the going away party that Minho is throwing for you. You can’t believe it’s already time. You leave tomorrow.

Everything has been building up to this, and you’re so excited, you think you could burst. You’re anxious too, because everything has to go right, it’s only what you’ve been dreaming about.

Your acceptance letter is tucked into a book, and it feels like only yesterday that you found out, but it’s already been months.

The night you got accepted, Felix baked you a chocolate cake. You were too shaken up, and confused about the fact that you couldn’t get through to Hyunjin, but you had to celebrate.

Felix… distracts you from all your worries. You’re grateful for his company.

“I don’t want to be the star” You told him.

Felix rolled his eyes, “You deserve it, love, and you have no choice”

You had been anxious about Hyunjin for months, confused, and heartbroken, but you have bigger things to worry about.

The program starts in a week, and you don’t have enough time to prepare.

Yet, you’ve been preparing for it all your life.

The money you’ve saved up happens to just be enough for a studio apartment, and Yeonjun helped you find a place in a busy neighbourhood.

Not that it mattered.

You would sleep in the subway if you had to, if it means you’ll get to learn from The Kim Jieong. The artist you’ve looked up to all your life, your inspiration, your muse, and your everything.

Later that night, Minho helped you pack, and you take only what you need. You can’t afford to leave your supplies at home, like he did, so you packed all of them. You keep aside the tattered brushes, because the city kids would definitely disapprove. 

Your suitcase filled up quickly, with an array of watercolours, and acrylics, and pastels, and you compromised on your clothes.

You only pack your favourite coat, and your dark sweaters, and the skirts you didn’t wear here yet.

The going away party is small, and you love and hate every part of it. You wear the blue dress Felix wanted you to. Everybody there tells you you’ll do well, and you wonder if any of them secretly resent you, if they think you’re another person who gave into the city's false charms. Everybody who moves to the city from a small town is always celebrated, but you know you’ll probably be hated when you’re actually gone.

You’re in such a daze throughout, you don’t realise the importance of that night.

You’re not going away for long, but it’s still a huge deal.

The apprenticeship has a low acceptance rate, and they hardly take any students from Korea. It’s mostly international kids, and you can’t believe you get the chance to be amongst them.

After the party, you and Felix stay to help Minho clean up, and you stand on the threshold of the doorway, to catch your breath. Felix threw away the last of the beer bottles, and stood opposite you, leaning on the other end.

Your arms are folded behind your back, and you smile at him.

“I can’t believe Seonmi tried to get us to play spin the bottle again” 

You sigh, “I’m glad Minho shut them down”

Felix laughs, and then his shoulders sag as the laughter dies down, “How are you feeling?”

“Tired” You tell him, “But…I’m really fucking excited too”

“I can’t believe you’re leaving” He mumbles, for the tenth time that night, and he pushes his hands in his pockets.

“It’s not like I’m moving away forever” You tell him, “The apprenticeship is just a temporary program”

“But isn’t the point of it to get a job in the city?” He asks.

“There’s only a few spots open, for the people that perform the best”

“Then you’re definitely not coming back” He says, smiling, placing unwavering faith in you.

“We’ll see” You shrug.

“Is he coming to pick you up from the station?” He asks.

You nod, “If he can make it. He’s been busy recently”

“You promise to keep me in your life?” He suddenly asks, tilting his head. You notice his hair’s grown longer in the fall, falling to his shoulders. The blonde suits him, the glow of the porch lights sharpen his cheekbones, and the shadows on his face.

“You’d push your way back, even if I didn’t” You tell him.

He laughs, knowing it’s the truth, “I’ve had the privilege of knowing you since we were…kids. I’m never letting you go, you know that?”

His words are meant to comfort you, but the irony doesn’t fail to strike.

He must have noticed the fall in your expression, because he steps forward, “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

“I’m…kind of a little terrified” You admit, eyes downcast, watching the pink shoelaces of Felix’s worn-out shoes.

“You’ve been painting your whole life. Everybody’s going to fall in love with you there, I can bet my life on that”

“I only need Kim Jieong to fall in love with me” You joke.

“And he will. You’ll spare no one”

You swallow, “Thank you. I know you never really wanted me to move away. But I’m really glad you understand how much this means to me”

“I rather you be away from me than be miserable in this little town” He admits, and his finger meets the end of your chin. He tilts your head up, so you’re looking him right in the eye.

“That doesn’t sound like you” You mumble.

He rolls his eyes, “I know. The things I do for you”

You smile, “Thank you”

“I’m really gonna miss you” He admits, “You’ll come home for the next summer though, right?”

You nod, and his hand is still on your chin, “Of course. I’ll be here”

His lips pull up into a smile, and his eyes are bright, and the freckles on his skin look far too much like stardust right now.

“You’ll be here. That’s why summer’s my favourite season” He mumbles, but his voice is suddenly hoarse now, half of his words lost in his mouth. 

He’s staring right at you, and you feel the breath leave your lungs. 

It reminds you of the night of his birthday and how he came to your rescue, kissing you to save you from embarrassment.

“Can I kiss you?” He suddenly asks you, the depth of his voice prickling through you.

Apparently, he was thinking of the same thing.

The words throw you for a loop, but yet they don’t. 

He knows you don’t feel the same way for him. He knows that you’re in love with someone else. But he still asks. It’s a goodbye kiss. It doesn’t mean much more. 

So, you say yes, and he swallows your words in a kiss.

He presses you up against the doorway, but he doesn’t deepen the kiss. His lips move against yours, and his hands hold you, and all you can think about how is how different this feels.

It’s not that you’ve given up on Hyunjin. In fact, in a few days, you’ll be closer to him than you’ve ever been, under the same night sky, breathing the same air.

Your hands stay behind you, pressed into the doorway, and you feel the slightest urge to run them through his hair, but you don’t. 

Felix kisses you sweetly, and when he pulls away, there’s no awkwardness. He lets out a laugh, pulling playfully at your cheeks and mumbles something about making sure you don’t miss the train in the morning.

That night, when you’re packing away the last of your things, you reached for the sketchbook you had left at Hyunjin’s house. It laid by your bedside, but you haven’t opened it in weeks. You decided to take it with you, if only for the memories and the sketches you’ll make on the journey.

As you reach to put it in your suitcase, something dropped from within its pages and landed on the wooden floor.

Frowning, you bent down to pick it up. 

It’s a vertical photo strip, and when you flip it over, your breath stops in your throat.

It’s the pictures from the photobooth.

Of you and Hyunjin kissing, in the pink lights.

How the fuck did that get in here?

You’re absolutely sure he had deleted them, right in front of your own eyes.

It stirs memories within you, plunging you right back into that moment, the hot, heavy kisses that you shared, the tightness with which he gripped your hips, the urgency with which you touched each other.

Your core tightened, and you sit on the floor to take a breath.

You stared at the strip of pictures. Your first instinct is to text him, and ask where he got them, but you can’t even contact him. 

It’s another question you can’t wait to ask him, when you finally see him again.

A tsunami of feelings overwhelms you, and you know that you can’t blame him for this sudden rift between you, because you can still feel the intensity with which he held you, and moments like that can’t be temporary.

A new buzz runs through your veins, and you hold the photo strip tight to your chest, wondering when it would be real again.

»»————-

The stars in the sky were replaced by the skyscraper lights, as your train hurtled closer to its destination.

Clutching your ticket in your hand, your eyes were peeled to the window, watching the city skyline become closer, and closer, until the buildings loomed over you. 

You’d seen the city through pixels and in coffee table books but never like this. 

Your camera ran out of film before you’d even arrived, and perhaps you should have prepared for that. You couldn’t stop your excitement. Everything was new, and everything was gorgeous. You took pictures of your ticket, of your seat, of the view.

You have to document this. In every form possible.

The cute boy across you even offered to share a pack of Peppero sticks halfway through the ride, and you hoped everybody in the city was as kind as him.

There were more people at the platform than in the entirety of Daejon, and you held your bags tightly to you, making your way through the crowd. At a certain point, you weren’t even walking, just pushed toward the nearest exit, going with the flow of the crowd around you. 

Each breath brought a new scent, fighting for your attention in the crowd. The musty luggage that had travelled all over the country being dragged against the concrete. 

There must be a cafe nearby, because the aroma of coffee wafted through the air, and it wasn’t till the scent of pastries hit you that you realised you were starving.

There’d be time for food later.

The faint hint of cologne and perfume clouded your senses, different kinds of fragrances worn by the people who walked through the station.

It was overwhelming, a sensory overload, but you had expected this chaos.

You welcomed it.

He was waiting for you at the platform.

Relief flooded through you at the familiar face amongst the crowd. 

“Look at her” He remarked, a small smile overtaking him.

“Fuck” You ran up to him, navigating through the few people still in your way. 

His arms wrapped around you immediately, lifting you off the ground momentarily, and his scent was familiar and it was known, and it calmed you instantly. You buried your face in his neck, letting him hold you to his body in the crowd.

“You’re here” He breathed, pulling back to look at you, eyes wide.

“I missed you” You admitted, reaching out to grab his hand, “Thank you…for coming to pick me up”

He squeezed yours in return, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world” 

“No, I’m serious. Thank you, Yeonjun”

He stared at you, eyes crinkling in appreciation and love, “You don’t have to thank me”

The crowd moved around you, like a river around a rock, as you held him close to you. 

Everything was unfamiliar here, but him.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here” He smiled, grabbing your bags.

Walking out of the station felt like stepping into a dream you’d forgotten.

You’d studied these streets, and dreamt of these buildings, but now you stood amongst them. Awe and fascination swelled in your heart, and if it wasn’t for Yeonjun keeping a hold on you, you’d probably stop and stare at every little thing.

The neon lights danced along the alleyways, casting colors onto everyone around you.

It was so typical. 

It was just like the movies.

You picked up on snippets of conversations, leftovers of drama, but it was crazy, because for the first time, you didn’t know who they were gossiping about. There were no familiar faces or names, a reality you could never live before.

In the distant, you could hear street musicians and you stopped, pulling at Yeonjun’s sleeve, “Can we go see that?”

You’ve seen far too many Youtube videos about this, and you have been waiting to experience this yourself.

He laughed, gesturing to your luggage, “With all this stuff in our hands?”

“Right” You realised.

“Hey, we can always come back to this. Let’s get you settled in first, yeah?” He said, reaching forward to tuck your hair back in a gesture that soothed you.

“I know. I just…I’m excited. Sorry” You apologised.

“Don’t be sorry. I was the same my first day here” He said, sincerely, “I’m glad I have you to share this with. Although you’re already doing better than me, I was so overwhelmed”

You swallowed, “I am too, but…I want to be”

Yeonjun’s lips curled up into a smile, “Yeah?”

“I’ve thought about this moment for a long time, Jun”

“I know” He smiled, then tugged at your hand, “Now come on, we’re almost at your apartment”

You let him tug you along, because you were too lost taking everything in to navigate yourself. 

It was overwhelming, 

But you embraced it.

»»————-

“Are you sure this is the right building?”

“Mmh, I checked on the map. It’s definitely the red building”

“It…looks different than it did online” You said, staring at the apartment.

“I’m sure it’s nicer inside” He shot you a calm look. 

He grabbed the heavier suitcase, before attempting to push the door open. 

It didn’t budge, and he stopped, “Is the door locked or something?”

“Um, they told me it’d be open till six” You mumbled, glancing at your phone to check the time.

“Well, it’s certainly not open” Yeonjun muttered, trying to push it open with his shoulder. 

His efforts were met with no real results, and he released a frustrated sigh.

“Maybe I can try” You side-stepped him, lamely attempting to turn the knob.

“You know, it’s not that cold” Yeonjun rolled his eyes at the thick gloves you had on.

“It’s cold for me” You defended. 

Daejon almost had the same weather year-round. 

You weren’t used to the chill that came this up north.

“I pray for you when winter comes” He added.

You turned to him, arms crossed, “So…are we just going to stand here the rest of the night?”

“Why don’t you call the landlord?”

You bit your lip, “I wouldn’t wanna inconvenience him” 

Yeonjun sighed, dropping the duffel bag on the pavement, “You literally can’t get into your apartment. I think he’ll understand”

Your new life in the city was off to a great start.

“Maybe I can try again tomorrow” You spoke, “Could I stay at your place tonight?”

“Y/N” He stepped forward, placing a hand on your shoulder, “You can, but you’re not going to be bothering him, I promise you. This is kind of his job”

You stared at him, and sighed, “You’re right. But, before I call him, do you think there’s another entrance to the place? Maybe we’re at the wrong one”

Yeonjun looked up at the facade of the building. All the blinds to the apartment windows were shut, and he kept his hands on his hips, “I’ll check around the back”

“Thank you” You nodded, “I’ll try the door here”

You peeled off your gloves, turning the knob again, hoping that it might work this time.

You pushed at it with your shoulder, and to your surprise, the door burst open, plunging you inside. 

Somebody else had opened the door from the inside.

“Fuck” You collided with them, flushing with embarrassment.

“Whoa” He exclaimed, hands coming up to your shoulders, “Are you okay?”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry” You stepped back, looking up at him.

Was everyone in Seoul a fucking model or something?

His hair fell into his eyes, sharp features and a jawline that immediately stood out to you. 

He seemed to be younger than you.

He observed your form, eyes flickering over your figure before he stepped back, to let you breathe, “Were you…breaking in to my apartment or something?”

“No!” You immediately responded in horror, eyes wide, “I…I’m Y/N”

His eyebrows shot up, “Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

“I’m the new resident on the sixth floor” You explained, voice unsure by the second, “Mr. Kwon didn’t mention me?”

“Oh” His eyes widened in recognition, “Right. He did. I didn’t think you’d be coming in today. Bad weather to be moving in”

“You’re right” You laughed, pushing your hands in your pockets, “So, uh…I’m Y/N”

He smiled, eyes crinkling, “Hi, Y/N. I’m Jeongin”

“Sorry about the door. I couldn’t get in” 

“It tends to get stuck in the cold sometimes” He explained, then looked behind you, “Is that all the stuff you have?”

You turned back, “Yeah. My friend’s gone around the block…to look for another entrance”

Jeongin smiled brightly, like he had no troubles in the world, “Well, I can help you get your bags up, unless you wanna wait for your friend to come back?”

“I’ll just tell him I got the door open” You explained, reaching for your phone to text Yeonjun. 

Your new neighbour, Jeongin, watched as you typed out the text, and then reached forward, to pick up the duffel you’d abandoned on the street.

“You probably shouldn’t leave your stuff out like that” He laughed, grabbing the handle of your suitcase, “Some scumbags are just looking for an opportunity like that”

“Oh” You realised, feeling dumb for leaving your things unattended.

Jeongin pulled your suitcase and duffel bag up the porch stairs, before shooting you a glance, “I’m guessing you’re new to the city”

“It’s obvious?” You laughed, feeling embarrassed.

“Don’t worry about it” He shook it off with a hand, as you followed him up the stairs, “I’m on the second floor, by the way”

You clutched the rusty bannister with one hand, craning your neck to observe the atrium. The centre of the staircase had a skylight, but it was pitch-black outside.

He glanced back at you, “If you ever find yourself stuck outside, you can shoot me a text. I’m almost always home”

You followed him up to the sixth floor, “Thank you, that’s really nice of you. Are you in university?”

He nodded, “I take my classes online though. You?”

“I’m here for an art internship”

“Where’d you move here from?” He asked, as you made your way to the door, and you handed him the keys. 

“Daejon. It’s a small town down south, near the beach and the mountains. You probably haven’t heard of it”

He turned to you, with a grin, “Sounds beautiful”

You unlocked the door to your unit, and thankfully this lock was easier than the one below. 

Flicking the switches on, you glanced around.

The apartment certainly was…something. 

It was a studio, unfurnished, one bedroom, one bath.

The walls and floor were bare, and there was hardly any lighting, but that could be fixed.

Everything could be fixed.

You had made it here, and that’s what mattered.

A little kitchen window looked out into a fire escape, glimpses of the city visible. 

It excited you already. You could set up an easel there and learn to paint this new landscape.

You’d brought no artwork with you…but the new paintings you made could decorate the walls, and soon the place would fill up with your new memories of the city.

There was so much potential.

“It’s not bad. Mr. Kwon gave you one of the better units” The boy commented, and you realised he was still here, as you’d been fantasising about your new place.

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” 

Jeongin raised an eyebrow, “Why would I want to make you feel better? We’ve only known each other like… thirty seconds”

Your eyes widened, and for a second you wondered if he actually meant it, before he burst into a laugh.

“Sorry” He giggled, “I was kidding. Did you think I was not?”

“And how would I know you were kidding? I just met you, like you said” You exhaled.

He laughed, walking back to you, “Why would I be so rude to you for no reason?”

You shrugged, hugging yourself, “I don’t know…maybe you’re an asshole”

“Ouch” He laughed.

“Who are you?” A familiar voice interrupted, and you turned to see Yeonjun stood at the doorway. His eyes were wide, and his hair was wet from the rain. You felt guilty for leaving him out in the cold, but he was more concerned about the stranger in your apartment.

“Who are you?” Jeongin asked him in return, “How’d you get in?”

Yeonjun’s eyes narrowed, “The door was open downstairs”

“Shit” He mumbled, “Mr Kwon will kill me”

“Why are you in my friend’s living room?” Yeonjun asked.

“I was helping her in”

Yeonjun shot you a look, and you shrugged, “What?”

Jeongin looked between the two of you awkwardly, “I gotta go close up downstairs”

“Sure. Thank you for letting me in by the way”

“Course. No problem” He smiled, pushing his hands in his denim jacket pockets as he left. 

Once he was out of earshot, Yeonjun shut the apartment door, and raised an eyebrow at you, “Who was he?”

“Yang Jeongin” You leaned against the kitchen counter, letting out a breath, “He opened the door for me”

“And you let him into your apartment. What if he’s a creep?”

“Relax, Jun. At least I’m inside now”

He looked around, observing the place, “Well, at least there’s no mold here or anything”

You stare at him, “Are you kidding me? The place is… perfect”

He laughs, “What?”

You run up to him, pulling him into a hug, “Thank you, thank you, thank you”

He wrapped his arms around you, “Someone’s happy”

You looked up at him, “Of course I am. This is what I’ve wanted my entire life”

“You didn’t seem this excited downstairs” He pointed out.

“I was worried for a second there” You say, “But now I’m so happy”

He laughed, “Fuck. I’m happy for you”

You let go of him, to sit on your new couch, in your new home.

“If I get some cute stuff and more lights, it’ll be nice, right?”

He walked over to the kitchen window, peering out at the view, “Just be careful to keep the blinds closed at night”

“Why?” You frowned.

“There’s a lot of creepy people in the city”

You smiled, dropping your head back on the couch, “I don’t care”

He laughed again, stepping over to you, “When do you want to unpack?”

“Is it crazy if I say right now? I kind of want to put all my stuff in place”

“No, it’s not crazy. You’re not tired?”

“I’ve been preparing for this my whole life, so no”

He chuckled, “I’m guessing you’re going to be saying that a lot”

He walked over to the bedroom, “It’s smaller than on the website. You’ll have to buy a bed”

“I know” You hummed, closing your eyes, to take everything in. If you sat here quietly, you’d be able to hear the sirens, the pedestrians, the noise from all the shops.

“Do you wanna order some pizza?” He asked.

“That’s perfect”

As the hours pass, you put away all your clothes in the wardrobe. Yeonjun helped you arrange the paintbrushes and canisters in a corner. You’ve only had enough space to bring two canvases and you balanced them against your bedroom wall. 

Yeonjun played an English rock band he’s lately been obsessed with as you emptied the last of your suitcase.

The pizza arrived in no time, and Yeonjun brought it upstairs.

You’ve opened the kitchen window to let the city sounds in, and he smiles at your amused expression. Your apartment faces a busy street, but you love it. There’s absolutely no silence, and you think it’ll help you fall asleep at night.

Sitting on the floor, the pizza box lay between you as Yeonjun told you about his favourite spots in the city. He was a little overprotective, telling you to avoid certain neighbourhoods, but you appreciate him.

“Are you excited to join the internship?” He asked, biting down into the pepperoni.

“Apprenticeship” You corrected him.

“What’s the difference?” He laughed.

“Look it up” You rolled your eyes, tossing a pepperoni at him.

He nodded, “So you’re sticking in Seoul forever then?”

You laughed, “We’ll see”

“You didn’t answer my question” He repeated, popping open a coke can, a hissing sound accompanying it.

“I am excited. Obviously” You smiled, “Nervous to meet Kim Jieong though. He’s like my favourite artist, ever, in the entire observable universe”

Yeonjun laughed, passing you the coke can, “I better be the first to hear all about your first day”

“Who else will I even tell?” You laughed.

He nodded, swallowing the crusts, and choosing to stay quiet.

It’s awkward. Hyunjin’s thought hangs in the air.

He doesn’t know you’re here.

He doesn’t even know you got accepted.

“We could do something crazy. If you want”

“What?” You asked, curious.

“You’re probably gonna hate the idea” He laughed.

You scoot closer to him, “Tell me”

He bites into another piece, “You know where he works. The Pegasus headquarters. It’s not too far from your classes”

You stare at him as he talks. The idea makes you feel like a stalker.

“I can’t just show up at his workplace”

“Isn’t that how you two met in the first place? He showed up to your workplace?”

You grabbed the coke can from him, “You’re clever. But no…that’d be weird”

“How else are you going to get in touch with him?”

“I don’t know, but it is so weird to think that we’re under the same sky now”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes, “You’re way too romantic. You know that you’re always under the same sky, right? No matter where you are on Earth”

“Shut up” You tossed a piece of pepperoni at him, “Don’t kill the mood”

“Fine. You’re breathing the same air as Hyunjin. I mean, if you really want to be romantic, you’ll probably bump into him sometime soon”

“There’s like ten million people in the city, Jun”

“Oh, now you’re logical?” He laughed. Yeonjun’s face suddenly lit up, and you know he’s had a terrible idea.

“What? Don’t tell me…” 

“I’m going to help you find him. That’s kind of my job”

“Finding people?” You laughed.

“No, tracking their digital footprints, and shit”

“How is that going to help us find Hyunjin again?”

“I don’t know. I’m still figuring that part out”

You rolled your eyes, and you lie down.

Your stomach is full, you’re tired, and the floor of your new place is cold, and you love it. You’re so happy. 

You’re right where you belong, and right where you were always supposed to be.

It feels right, and you smile to yourself.

“Do you want to go for a walk? Maybe we can explore your neighbourhood. You can get familiar with it” Yeonjun suggested.

You sat up so quickly, “That’s the greatest idea I’ve ever heard” 

So, he took you around the alleys, and you tried to memorise the names of the streets, and he showed you a coffee shop, and a Paris fucking Baguette. 

Your street is busy and full of life, even this late at night. Even from here, you could see the high-rise buildings surrounding you, glass houses, and everything is glamorous. 

“I literally feel like I’m inside a drama” You told Yeonjun, watching all of the little shops and snack stands. The mannequins in the window display wore clothes you could never get away with wearing back home.

But, you’ll wear them now.

It’s so much all at once.

He held your hand, introducing you to everything he knew of. 

You feel like a stranger in your own country. Everything is different here.

But you’re right where you belong, and as Yeonjun led you back home, you looked up at the sky.

It’s different too.

You realise Hyunjin was right all along.

There are no stars here. 

»»————-

It’s been less than a week, and you’re lost.

You’re not proud to admit it.

But the city is big, and you were only trying to find your way to The Atelier.

Cabs were expensive as hell, so you’d decided to walk, and take the trains but clearly you’d ended up in the wrong neighbourhood.

You called Yeonjun. Obviously.

“Look, Y/N. I still don’t understand what possessed you go visit your art building this late”

“I was impatient!” You admitted. Your classes don’t start for another week, but you wanted to check the place out. You couldn’t hold your excitement.

“You could’ve just waited for the weekend. I would have gone with you”

You snorted, “Right. What would you do in a place like that?”

“Hey, I can be artsy too” He retorted, “Now tell me what you see”

You stared ahead of you.

It’s busy, and there’s so many people. You turn a corner, and then another, and another. It’s already dark out, and the streetlights have twinkled on. You wish you could appreciate the beauty, but you’re so lost. 

Somehow, you’re not scared. You know you’ll figure it out. 

You’ve made it this far after all.

“I’m at a street with a thousand shops”

“So…every single street of this city? You’re so helpful”

“You’re not being very helpful either” You crossed your arms.

“Just go into any shop, and ask them where the art building is”

“What if they don’t know?”

“Then ask somebody else” Yeonjun suggested.

You survey the plethora of shops. Half of them have already shuttered down, and some are in the process of closing. 

There’s only one store that’s open. It looks like it sells snacks and drinks, but maybe they can tell you where you are. The fluorescent lights of it cast a harsh aura upon the streets, unmatched to the traditional aesthetic of everything else. 

“Okay. That’ll give me an excuse to get that expensive candy I saw at the station”

Yeonjun laughed, “I am appalled at how positive you’re being right now despite being in the middle of nowhere”

You walked up the little stairs, a chime sounding as you enter. 

It’s bigger than you expected inside. 

There’s rows and rows of snacks, shelves stocked to the brim. It’s local, different from a 7/11 franchise, but it’s just as organised. There’s a few people already in the store, and you walked past them, until you find an employee who can help you.

“Yeah, once I decided to stop being affected by every little thing, life became much easier” You joked.

You can almost imagine Yeonjun rolling his eyes as he said, “If only everything was that easy”

“I’m gonna ask someone who works here. I’ll call you after, okay?” You spoke into the phone, before hanging up.

There’s a girl, she looked friendly enough.

“Excuse me?” 

She turned, and she was chewing gum, “Yeah? How can I help you?”

“Yeah, could you tell me how I can get to the Atelier from here?”

You feel a little stupid. She’s probably wondering why you can’t just use your phone, but the streets here are so narrow, there’s no way it’ll be accurate.

Her eyebrow furrowed, “That fancy glass building?” 

You lit up in recognition, “Yes! Exactly that!”

“Um. I’m sorry, I don’t know. But Jae will know. His girlfriend goes there. I can call him if you want, he’s the back”

“Oh” You nodded, “That’ll be really helpful, thank you so much”

She looked around, “Are you gonna buy anything?”

You nodded, smiling at her, before she walked into the back.

Well, she was nice.

You tucked your hands into your jacket pockets, and looked around. 

You haven’t been to this part of town before. Well, you’ve only been here a few days but you must have got yourself really, really lost to end up in such a random place.

You waited for the girl to come back, and you watched the people around you.

You envy their sense of comfort, and familiarity.

There’s a couple, still in school uniforms, and they’re picking out candy.

There’s quite a few people in the store, baskets full of snacks, and iced coffee, and maybe you can grab one too, after you reorient yourself.

The shelf is front of you is so overstimulating, and there’s so many different types of candy. 

That’s another one of your favourite things here.

Brands you’ve never heard of or seen before. Imported sweets, from all across the world, and everything is expensive, but you don’t care right now.

There’s a huge box of purple candies.

It’s too much, even for you.

But you feel the need to treat yourself.

You reached for it, picking it off the shelf. Your eyes wander up.

There’s a boy.

Your heart skips a beat, and you think it almost stopped.

You’re dizzy.

The most beautiful boy in the world… stands on the other side of the shelf.

You’d recognise that stance anywhere. 

He’s in a dark trench coat and a cap is pulled over his head, and getting lost has easily been the absolute best mistake of your life. It’s the craziest coincidence in the world, and maybe now you really don’t believe in coincidences anymore.

You believe in destiny, and he has to be yours.

There’s no other explanation, no rhyme or reason for why else he would be here, right now, right here, at the same time as you.

He hasn’t seen you yet, and you relish in those few seconds of pure observation.

He looks exactly the same, as he browses through the aisle of cereals.

Your heart burned, and it yearned, and you couldn’t wait anymore.

You couldn’t stop yourself, even if you wanted to.

“Hyunjin?” You blurted, the excitement unable to be held back.

His head shot up to yours.

The blue box of cereal in his hand dropped to the floor.

And it really was him.

It actually was him.

There were no coincidences. 

He looked so gorgeous, and you can already feel his distinct scent. Your lips curved up into a smile, and your heart was beating out of its chest.

He was staring at you, eyes wide, lips parted.

His hair had gotten even longer, and it peeked out from under his cap.

“Hyunjin I—”

A woman stepped between you, picking up what he’d just dropped.

“Is this the one you were looking for?” She handed it to him.

Hyunjin tore his gaze away from you and nodded at her.

She looked at you, wondering what had his attention.

Your words were stuck in your throat, and your heart was squeezing in your chest, you thought you might collapse.

Who was that?

“Is there anything else you need?” She asked him.

He shook his head, gaze to the floor, “No. I’m good”

His voice. You’d missed it insanely.

“Perfect. The cash counter’s in the back though” She walked past you, and she’s not your problem anymore because he’s here. He’s actually here, in front of you, in the most random shop in all of Seoul. 

Hyunjin stepped out from the aisle. 

You’re standing in his way, “Hey—”

“Excuse me” He mumbled, his shoulder bumped against yours and he walked right past you.

What the fuck?

He didn’t even look at you.

Someone tapped on your shoulder, and it was the girl with the chewing gum.

Your eyes were still on him though, confused, and a fear began to settle in your stomach. He was standing at the cash counter, and his was head was ducked low, as the woman placed all of their shopping out of the cart. 

For a second, you wonder if you’re mistaken and if that’s someone else, but you know it’s him, but that doesn’t make any sense.

The girl employee spoke cheerfully, introducing a boy at her side, “This is Jae! He can tell you the way to the Art Atelier”

At those words, Hyunjin finally looked back, over his shoulder, at you.

His gaze met yours.

It definitely was him.

You were about to say something, but the words never made it past your lips, because he immediately looked away from you.

It was as if he had never known you.

Like you were a stranger.

The city of Seoul had never felt so quiet, as right now.

»»————-

⇐ masterlist ⇒

please let me know if you liked the chapter, or any thoughts on this part! thank you <3

if you’d like to support me and my writing, you can buy me a coffee here! thank you so much.

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #star lost with you #hyunjin x yn #hyunjin smut #angst #fluff #friends to lovers #series #skz x reader #skz smut #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin smut

[feelbokkie]

🥟Jinnie's Shelf🥟

Part 2

Authors: N-Z

🌞Feelbokkie M.list🌞

Key:

📙 = fluff 📘 = angst ☻ = 18+ newest recs in green

N

📚Coming Soon...📚

O

📚Coming Soon...📚

P

📚 @pettypuppy-jonghyun 📚

cuddling with you 📙

Q

📚Coming Soon...📚

R

📚Coming Soon...📚

S

📚 @skz-streamer 📚

solace 📙 📘

📚 @soobnny 📚

ten things hwang hyunjin says when he thinks you’re asleep 📙

📚 @starrgaziinggg 📚

boyfriend texts 📙

T

📚 @tinytinyblogs 📚

hyunjin as your boyfriend 📙

hyunjin have a crush on you 📙

U

📚Coming Soon...📚

V

📚Coming Soon...📚

W

📚 @whatsk-poppinhomies 📚

when reader doesn't feel good (hyunjin and felix ver.) 📙📘

X

📚Coming Soon...📚

Y

📚 @yxngbxkkie 📚

mornings with hyunjin 📙

Z

📚 @zoe8stay 📚

voice messages from hyunjin 📙

Series

📚Coming Soon...📚

📚back to rec list📚

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skzoo #skz #stray kids #feelbokkie recs #hyunjin reactions #hyunjin reaction #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin x reader #reader x hyunjin #hwang hyunjin reactions #hwang hyunjin reaction #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin imagines #hwang hyunjin x reader #reader x hwang hyunjin

[luvrhyune]

THE VIEW . HWANG HYUNJIN .

♡. PAIRING : Hwang Hyunjin x GN! Reader .

♡. SUMMARY : Your friend group constantly bugs you about going on group dates. It doesn't really bother you until they start trying to set you up with potential suitors. Not knowing what to do you tell them you have a boyfriend, and of course that isn't true. So who do you turn to? Well, your frenemy ; hwang hyunjin .

♡. GENRE : SMAU & romance .

♡. CONTENT WARNING : fake dating , tooth rotting fluff , uni au (nothing is really mentioned) , potential angst , humour (i hope) , written elements , swearing , original characters , non idol au .

— posting status : completed !!

— started : 06/08/22 (dd/mm/yy)

— finished : 11/09/22 (dd/mm/yy)

— taglist : closed :)

— notices :

the plot & any oc’s used belong to me !!

DO NOT SPAM LIKE EACH CHAPTER!!

do not steal or translate my work !!

y/n uses they/them pronouns but they are female presenting in pictures.

— playlist & pintrest !!

masterlist

CHAPTERS :

i : fairy comments .

ii : blinde date .

iii : fake dating .

iv : enemies to lovers .

v : group date .

vi : “i’m onto you hwang” .

vii : falling in love .

viii : promise me .

ix : the truth .

x : way to easy .

xi : no need .

xii : i love you .

xiii : be my partner .

epilogue .

— fin <3

Y / N & HYUNJIN’S PROFILES :

y/n’s bio : “🫶🏽. “like the petals that will bloom again , get better day by day”.”

hyunjin’s bio : “ “prince” okay ig🤣?!”

© property of @luvrhyune . please do not repost, claim or translate my work on this and / or any other platforms. thank you.

#hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #stray kids x yn #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #hyunjin x reader #smau #fake dating au #hwang hyunjin x reader #hwang hyunjin smau #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin smau #stray kids #🫶🏽☁️. the view #🌚🤍. luvrhyune

[daniistopg]

PARING: Roommate!Bestfriend!Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, smut.

wc: 805

As soon as you met your roommate Hwang Hyunjin, you just knew he was gonna be your best friend. You were right, he is your best friend and you are planning to keep that label forever. 

One night you're at your bestfriends house for a party, it was roughly about 7:00-ish pm. You’re just sitting in the corner of the kitchen drinking wine. While the young adults are shaking their asses on each other. Like dude. It’s 7 in the night, not even fully night yet. Little horny bastards. Soon enough as you expect, Hyunjin is calling you right when you were just about to get your 4th drink of the cheap wine your friend had bought for this party. You decide to pick it up, expecting that he’d be asking for something, but you had a feeling in your gut that it was something else. So in that moment you cross your fingers and press the green button that displays on your phone. 

“Ya, Y/N, get home” the other side of your phone bursts out, scaring you. His voice is almost grabbing out at you. 

“Why Jinnie?”

“You know why,” He says with an angry raspy voice. Suddenly he hangs up. Welp. You  didn't even really want to be here in the first place. Grabbing your purse and jacket, you leave the front door.

“Y/N where are you going?” Your best friend asks in almost a mean girl voice. 

“Home. this shit sucks” You say not wanting to embarrass yourself that your best friend forced you to come home. 

“Ugh-” she gets off of the door frame and closes the door, rolling eyes and smiling. 

As soon as you get home Hyunjin is on the couch with his phone out, his eyes focusing on his phone. Light glimmering on his face as he scrolls through something. You’re too immersed in his face to notice what he's doing on his phone. 

“AGH” You screech and hit your head and your stuff falls with a dramatic clamp to your obsessive stare at Hyunjin. Hyunjin looks up from his phone at your scream. 

“You okay” His voice is still stern, but he has a soft spot in it.

“Yeah, just got random thoughts about something,” Looking away your face gleams a crimson red color. “W-what did you need me to do?” realizing you’re blushing about the situation you rush to your shared room with Hyunjin. Locking the door after closing it, you slide down against the white door. Thinking about what just went down you get up lazily opening the door. You hadn't noticed that Hyunjin left, scrambling for your phone out of your pocket, you text him. 

He replies shortly.

What? What's happening? Finally you hear the door open and close. You hurry to the door to see Hyunjin. 

“Where were you??” You ask with worry in your voice. He holds up his hand holding a 4 pack of beer, it’s your favorite beer, his too. “Oh..” fiddling with your fingers and looking down you follow Hunjin. “Are you mad at me” He stops walking.

“No,” he says acting like he doesn’t care about anything, but he can’t help but blush and his heart flutter at your voice sounding desperate. Sitting down with him, glancing at him makes you giggle. That giggle turns into laughing, which makes Hyunjin laugh with you. Hyunjin hands you a can and you take it, following along with the bottle opener. 

“Thanks.” You say before sipping the strong beer. 

“Can I tell you something?” He speaks while looking at you. His eyes lingering to your phone awkwardly. Not noticing you nod and listen intently. 

“I’ve liked you ever since I met you,” He says while drinking in between sentences as your eyes go wide open. “I have been obsessed with you, your life, your family, your back story.” sucking his teeth he speaks up again, “Your addicting Y/N.”

“Me too,” A faint squeak comes out of your mouth. Right as you push that out of you he grabs your shoulders and places his plump lips on yours. The kiss goes on for what feels like eternity, both your hands roaming each others body.

(4 Hours later)

You get away from Hyunjin’s grasp on the bed, and you walk to your bathroom, legs shaky. The night was very… You guys know. EHEEMMM!!! 

After that night you looked at Hyunjin differently. He’s hot. He’s so fucking hot. You also noticed he started to become more touchy and grabby. Not like you're complaining though. Hugging you, wrapping his arms around your waist, asking to cuddle with you, and doing something not really lLove Lee by AKMU, more like Seven by Jungkook. If you know what I mean. 

DONE FINALLY DONE

A/N: FINALLY IM DONE OMG OMG OMG ALSO THANK YALL FOR SUPPORTING MY TRAILER ITS SO CRAZY AND I WAS CRINGING THE WHOLE TIME WRITING THIS

#straykids #hyunjin #deez nuts #<33333 #stray kids fanfic #skz han #finding skz #skz felix #skz hyunjin #skz #han skz #i.n skz #stray kids hyunjin #skz x reader #skz 5 star #hyunjin smut #hyunjin ff #hyunjin fanfiction #skz fanfic #skz code #skz fanart #skz smut #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #straykids smut #smut skz #stray kids #skz bang chan

[my-universe-rpg]

A - B - C - D Aaron Taylor-Johnson ✦ Milky Bang Chan ✦ Ru Ben Barnes ✦ aldycrowleyfell Brock O’Hurn ✦ Lionheart Byeon Woo Seok ✦ Neverland Byun Baek-hyun ✦ Betelgeuse Choi Beom Gyu ✦ Shinmon Choi Soobin ✦ ddalki Choi Yeon Jun ✦ Nubes Chris Evans ✦ The Firefighter Colby Keller ✦ Nham Diego Luna ✦ Tamal Rojo Dove Cameron ✦ Aurora Dylan o'Brien ✦ Shezza

E - F - G - H Han Jisung ✦ Smile Hugh Dancy ✦ Nefelibata Hwang Hyunjin ✦ Gin&Tonic

I - J - K - L Jackson wang ✦ Kitsune Jang Won Young ✦ Star Jeon Jung Kook ✦ Nubes Jeong Yun Oh (Jaehyun, NCT) ✦ Diaval John Seo (Johnny) ✦ Pumba Jung Eun Bi (Eun Ha) ✦ Pommie Jung Hoseok (J-Hope) ✦ Natilla Kai Kamal Huening ✦ Cocoroco Kim Chae Won ✦ Star Kim Jennie ✦ BlueLagoon Kim Kibum (Key) ✦ Smile Kim Min Jeong (Winter) ✦ Pusheen Kim Seok Jin ✦ Limonada Kim Tae Hyung (V) ✦ Lilium Lalisa Manobal ✦ Watermelon Lee Dong Min (Cha Eun Woo) ✦ Lord Barkis Lee dong-wook ✦ Kitsune Lee Felix ✦ Bunny Lee Hee Seung ✦ Creep Lee Ji Eun (IU) ✦ Hare Lee Minho (Lee Know) ✦ Bunny

M - N - O - P Madison Beer ✦ reckless Min Yoon-gi (Suga) ✦ MYuniverse Minatozaki Sana ✦ Fancy Nakamoto Yuta ✦ Hanasaki Park Jimin ✦ Limonada Park Seon Woo (Sunoo) ✦ Vixen Park Sung Hoon ✦ Dheixa Pedro Pascal ✦ Sixsmith

Q - R - S - T Seo Soo Jin ✦ Patata soviética Shen Quan Rui (Ricky) ✦ Mockbeth Song Yu Qi ✦ Haku

U - V - W - X

Y - Z Yang Jung Won ✦ Blas Yeh Shu Hua ✦ Patata soviética Yoo Ji Min (Karina) ✦ fancychild Yoo Si Ah (YooA de Oh My Girl) ✦ Kintsugi

#reservas

[staysuki]

🍭 SWEET LIKE CANDY | hwang hyunjin smau

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader | enemies to lovers / strangers to lovers

genre: angst, mature, social media au, university au, anonymous au, a tiny bit of fluff and crack in between

warnings: contains vulgarity, extreme cussing, degradation, use of death as an insult, not a sweet fic, sexual/explicit themes but no detailed smut, sabotaging and blackmailing, extreme academic competetiveness, y/n and hyunjin both talk shit about each other’s college majors, mentions of drugs, illegal drug use, excessive partying, irresponsible drinking, drunk driving, criminal(??) acts, insults are h e a v y, bodyshaming (yk what, all kinds of shaming). syndicate undertones. death.

synopsis: long time rival hwang hyunjin has been the bane of your existence for as long as you can remember. thank god your secret anon textmate always has your back— sweet, caring, and good with words. definitely not like hwang at all.

a/n: y’know it was hard trying to come up with this “anonymous app” thing idea without naming names (bc i don’t wanna do that and also idk, i’m dumb) but basically the website/app that candy and y/n (her anon name is chocolate) is like a mix of deviantart and tumblr-ish. the idea started with it being kinda like omegle but then i ended up switching it up.

[FINISHED] DIRECTORY: (pink = written chapters)

ACT I— THE PLAYGROUND

prologue ~ 001 ~ 002 ~ 003 ~ 004 ~ 005 ~ 006 ~ 007 ~ 008 ~ 009 ~ 010 ~ 011 ~ 012 ~ 013 ~ 014 ~ 015 ~ 016 ~ 017 ~ 018 ~ 019 ~ 020 ~ 021 ~ 022 ~ 023 ~ 024 ~ 025 ~ 026 ~ 027 ~ 028 ~ 029 ~ 030

ACT II— THE WARZONE

031 ~ 032 ~ 033 ~ 034 ~ 035 ~ 036 ~ 037 ~ 038 ~ 039 ~ 040 ~ 041 ~ 042 ~ 043 ~ 044 ~ 045

ACT III— THE END

046 ~ 047 ~ 048 ~ 049 ~ 050 ~ 051 ~ 052 ~ 053 ~ 054 ~ 055 ~ 056 057 ~ 058 ~ 059 ~ 060 ~ 061 ~ 062 ~ 063 ~ 064 ~ 065 ~ 066 ~ 067 ~ 068 ~ 069 ~ 070

BONUSES

01 ~ 02 ~ 03

LOST HOOKS. SPIN-OFF/SEQUEL: HAPPY DEATH DAY (the story of lee felix) SECOND SPIN-OFF: DON'T SHOOT ME (the story of han jisung)

(mm/dd/year)

started: 10-11-2021

completed: 01-09-2022

mastertag: @geniejunn @leagreenly @90s-belladonna @fuzzylard @loveliebri @chimmybaek7 @todorokiskitten @lilacdreams-00 @starrylino @trials--error @ninjaleeknow

networks: @ficscafe

any feedback is greatly appreciated :,))))

#ficscafe #skz #skz smau #stray kids #stray kids smau #stray kids social media au #skz social media au #hwang hyunjin smau #hyunjin smau #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hwang hyunjin social media au #hyunjin social media au #seriesfin

[seosracha]

SUN & MOON | HYUNJIN X READER

genre: SOCIAL MEDIA AU

synopsis: you'd never think unleashing your inner artist would cause a broken heart and a lifetime romance all at once. but will the value of friendship let your sun rise?

in which hyunjin and y/n find love within each other while the one on the side looses hope as days go by.

WARNINGS: cursing, foul language, use of alcohol and drugs

status: discontinued ‼️

schedule: every monday, wednesday, saturday!

pairing: college student!hyunjin x fem!reader [side pairing college student!san x fem!reader]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

i. popular student life

ii. buddy up

iii. thats choi san

iv. engage in drama

v. dirty work

vi. the job

vii. welcome back

viii. menace to society

ix. favorite

x. surprise me, hwang

xi. greek god

xii. detectives and helpless romantics

xiii. on the case

xiv. screwed up

xv. lies

xvi. five stages of grief

xvii. i was right

xviii. fixing things

xix. divorce papers

xx. fools

xxi. secrets

xxii. shoot your shot

xxiii. inconvenience

xxiv. the promise

xxv. valentine

xxvi. villian

xxvii. girlfriend

xxviii. feelings

xxix. forgiveness

xxx. yours

xxxi. changed

xxxii. seeing each other

#hyunjin x reader #hyunjin #stray kids #bang chan #han jisung #hwang hyunjin #skz #skz x reader #bangchan x reader #sm au #skz smau #skz hyunjin #skz imagines #skz felix #stray kids masterlist #stray kids sm au #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #yang jeongin #kim seungmin #seo changbin #seungmin #changbin #ateez san #lee know #lee minho #lee felix #minho

[yunki-reads]

FICS THAT GOT ME THROUGH NOVEMBER '21

under the cut is a compiled m.list of all the fics that helped me get through this gloomy rainy month. thank you to all the writers! ♡

(a)ngst — (f)luff — (s)mut  — (sg)suggestive

A T E E Z

･ﾟﾟ･｡ot8

tongue tied (smau, f) - by @kyufiber​

･ﾟﾟ･｡yunho

buzzer beater (series, f, a) - by @halaboyz

･ﾟﾟ･｡san

it’s a manual, obviously (sg) - by @vampireyeosang

･ﾟﾟ･｡mingi

iced tea (smau, f) - by @escapewriter

･ﾟﾟ･｡wooyoung

7:00am (f) - by @defjcm

S E V E N T E E N

･ﾟﾟ･｡jun

20:43 (f) - by @multi-kpop-fanfics

because i love you (f) - by @chocosvt

･ﾟﾟ･｡wonwoo

03:13 (f) - by @delicatewerewolfsoul​

first time seeing snow (f) - by @treasure-hwa​

･ﾟﾟ･｡dokyeom

decorating christmas tree (f) - by @treasure-hwa

･ﾟﾟ･｡vernon

08:32 (f, sg) - by @delicatewerewolfsoul

S T R A Y  K I D S

･ﾟﾟ･｡ot8

stray kids & holding hands for the first time ! (f) - by @ahskz

･ﾟﾟ･｡minho

maybe tomorrow (a) - by @speckled-sunshine

harddom!minho (s) - by @hanjisbun

sorry, i love you (a) - by @seo--changbin

the tale of two lovers (a) - by @delicatewerewolfsoul

“you’re perfectly welcome to kiss whomever you wa–” (f) - by @delicatewerewolfsoul

･ﾟﾟ･｡hyunjin

skz as: kisses - hwang hyunjin (f) - @serialee

23:40pm (f) - @speckled-sunshine

･ﾟﾟ･｡felix

moments like these, with you (f) - by @wishingyouback

constellations (f) - by @sunbokie

･ﾟﾟ･｡jeongin

#c4cfff (a) - by @seungmoe

T H E   B O Y Z

･ﾟﾟ･｡ot11

tbz reaction to you falling asleep on them (f) - by @moonandsunwoo

everlasting (smau, f, a) - by @kyswoo

jumpshot (smau, f) - by @deputyjuyeon

･ﾟﾟ･｡jacob

co-lover (f) - by @stealanity

･ﾟﾟ･｡younghoon

boyz over flowers (smau, f) - by @bbangsoonie​

･ﾟﾟ･｡juyeon

surprise! ...or not? (f) - by @tsupuffs

23:15 (f) - by @changminurheart

･ﾟﾟ･｡kevin

distraction (f) - by @moonieric

･ﾟﾟ･｡chanhee

pretty in pink (f) - by @kurosism

･ﾟﾟ･｡changmin

2:14am (f) - by @cloudykyu

･ﾟﾟ･｡eric

suffocating (series, f, a) - by @hvae​ & @stealanity​

  T O M O R R O W x T O G E T H E R

･ﾟﾟ･｡ot5

things you do that make their hearts ache (f) - by @scintillasofbeomgyu

･ﾟﾟ･｡yeonjun

safe and sound (a) - by @kurosism

･ﾟﾟ･｡beomgyu

whisker dimples (f) - by @boba-beom

i’m grateful you’re mine (f) - by @boba-beom

looking forward for december! please feel free to send any recs! ♡

#november m.list #ateez scenarios #seventeen scenarios #stray kids scenarios #the boyz scenarios #txt scenarios

[soobasaur]

bestie 🙏🙏 can u write a hyunjin fic based off the song rpm by sf9 😁😁

the blind date mistake

— hwang hyunjin x reader au

genre: strangers to lovers

warnings: mentions of past break up, very small

« masterlist

you wanted to be anywhere but here

you were currently in a cafe, sitting in the booth at the back as you plotted your best friend felix’s murder in your head

you had recently been dumped, not recently it had been a year but you needed time!

and ever since then you had been scared to go back out into the dating world and so your best friend felix took it on himself to set you up on a blind date

he had found another friend with a friend who was single as well and set the both of you up

you knew felix had some...questionable friends

so you weren’t too sure how this was going to go

the thing was you were anxious for this type of this date, how were you going to hold a conversation with someone you’ve never met?

you didn’t want to be pessimistic but you couldn’t help it

you were too busy tapping your fingers on the table uneasily to notice the chair in front of you befome occupied

“uhm, are you here for a blind date too?”

you look up to be met with a long black haired man, he was sporting a loose turtleneck top and plaid pants and yeah maybe you were drooling at the mouth a little

“yeah, that would uh be me,” you gulped, reaching your hand out for a shake

why did felix not tell you how hot your date would be ??

“i’m hwang hyunjin, and you are?” hyunjin asked, taking your hand and giving you a peck on the knuckles

leading you to flush red

“i’m y/n...nice to meet you,” you awkwardly laugh, placing your hands on the table

“it’s nice to meet you, it’s been a while since i’ve been on a date so don’t mind me,” hyunjin voiced, a shy smile making its way across his pretty lips

“it’s been a while for me too,” you reassured, reaching towards the menu, “so we’re in the same boat.”

and once the initial bubble was broken you both fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence

when it came to order you found that the both of you had similar taste apart from the flavor of cake you ordered

it was easier then expected to fall into conversation with him, it felt as if you had known him for longer then just a couple minutes ago

you found out that he was a dance major and did modeling on the side, which wasn’t surprising at all since weLL JUST LOOK AT HIM!!

(you knew felix’s friend minho was also a dance major and maybe that’s how he ended up setting the both of you up)

he asked a lot of questions about you and he grew very excited when you mentioned you loved dogs and had one

he immediately pulled out his phone and showed you a bunch of pictures of his own dog and went on about a bunch a stories about his pet

it was so endearing you sat and listened to every single one and in return you showed a couple pictures of your dog

hyunjin mentioned that next time you both should bring your dogs and get them to meet

next time!!!!

he wanted there to be a next time!!??!!

once your food arrived he took note on how you eyes his cake and pushed his plate towards your

“what’s mine is yours...here,” he took off a piece with his fork and inched it towards your mouth

you happily complied and let the dessert dissolve on your tongue and you fed him a piece back

everything was going well until you both got interrupted by someone to your side

“uh...are one of you both y/n?”

“that would be me, how can i help you?” you asked, looking up at the stranger confused

“uhm lee felix told me you would be here and you match his description but uh,” the stranger took a look at hyunjin, “it seems as if i’m a little too late, i’ll be off now, have fun,”

you watched as the stranger left the cafe dejectedly and you looked back at hyunjin

“so am i...not your blind date?” you asked, turning back to hyunjin

“no,” hyunjin laughed, “i texted the person i was supposed to meet up with that i couldn’t make it after you said your name, you were too cute so i wanted to stay and get to know you instead of leaving.”

“oh wow,” you muttered, resting your head in your hands, how did you not get any info from felix on what your date was supposed to look like???

“you’re not like...dissapointed right? i’d understand if you were-,”

“no, not at all!” you reassured, leaning over a bit to place your hand on his, “i enjoyed today a lot and would love to get to know you more.”

that got you a cute smile in return

bonus headcanons:

after eating at the cafe neither one of you wanted to go home so the both of you wandered towards a nearby dog park and played with some pups

when you got home you gave felix a good talking to :’)

he profusely apologized for not setting it up properly while simultaneously laughing at the situation

turns out he knew hyunjin from his class and the two of them got along well :]

on your second date you kept your promise and introduced your dogs to one another and they immediately got along

dogs getting along >>

you guys started to hang out more after that, you stayed with him during practice at late nights to make sure he didn’t overwork and often took him out to eat afterwards

he asked you to be his partner soon after :’)

so in the end, going on a blind date wasn’t that bad of an idea

v(=∩_∩=)ﾌ

thank you for reading!!

#stray kids au #hwang hyunjin au #hwang hyunjin #stray kids #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin au #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin imagine #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin x y/n #hyunjin x you #hwang hyunjin fluff #stray kids fluff #stray kids drabble #hyunjin drabble #hyunjin drabbles

[nightshade-minho]

3021: Starless

X-3021

Set in the city of Neos, Xale, 3021: Starless documents the experiences of Y/n L/n, H88 aka Hwang Hyunjin, Lee Minho and Han Jisung. This file contains the entire story, documented in parts.

-Complete File-

----> Teaser 1

----> Teaser 2

----> -1- 

----> -2-

----> -3-

----> -4- (rated M)

----> -5- (coming soon)

Y/n × Hyunjin, Y/n x Minho, Y/n × Jisung, v. slight Chan x Y/n.

Note: This series will contain smut scenes, but they can be skipped over if needed.

The series has been heavily inspired by many books and movies, but the idea, characters and plot is exclusively my brainchild.

#hyunjin smut #minho smut #jisung fluff #jisung angst #hyunjin angst #minho angst #skz smut #skz fluff #skz angst #lee know angst #lee know fluff #lee know smut #hyunjin fluff #chan fluff #chan angst

[dalamjisung]

the first one ❋ hwang hyunjin

genre: a dash of fluff with a LOT of angst 

word count: 5177

pairing: reader x hwang hyunjin

description: maybe you gave too much to the first one. maybe you gave all you had away, and now that thee might be a second, you have nothing else to give... 

[inspired on the song “The First One” by Astrid S --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o3824jXtlE]

He was your first love. He was also your first heartbreak. He was also your first boyfriend, and, then, first ex-boyfriend. His name is one that you used to say with ease– wearing your heart on you sleeves and painting it with your words. You were young, and full of energy; you had everything and you gave it all to him. Not away– just… to him. The feeling of regret comes in the form of betrayal; it comes in small eye rolls and dismissive gestures; it comes in silence, stealthily, and he barely notices when it hits but when he does it is almost like it hits you too.

I just don’t feel it anymore. I felt it once; just not anymore.

Few things in this world are as harsh and quick coming to the realization that there is no love anymore. Yes, the realization is quick, like a blow; but the following understanding is slow, burning, simmering, until it just dries up. It never truly leaves you, the sensation of abandonment, but you just kind of learn to deal with it. That everything that you once had, though, it never comes back.

It’s been a long year, ever since him, and somewhere in the middle of all of that, you met Hyunjin. If you remember correctly– and you do,– you had had a particularly bad day at work, something about screaming clients and frustrated superiors. Because the buses has been cancelled due to construction, you had to walk home and somewhere in between watching couples at the food market and groups going in and out of bars, you started to muse just how alone you were; the tears come easily and you have to sit down on a bench, doing your best to keep your misery to yourself. Apparently, you did a terrible job of being discreet and Hyunjin sits down next to you, a gentle hand on your shoulder and soft words bringing you back to reality.

“Hey… excuse me, are you alright?” You turn to face this stranger whose face is barely visible in the night. You don’t flinch and you don’t pull away, you simply stare at him. “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?”

“No,” You whisper, shaking your head. The way he frowns and moves– it’s all very gracious. So much so that you completely ignore the danger you could’ve been if it had been anyone else. “No, I’m not hurt.”

“Oh,” His hand is quick to retract. “Oh, I’m sorry then. I didn’t mean to intrude, I just saw you crying when I left the club and–“

“You were having fun,” You groan, rubbing your face. “Oh god, I ruined your night, didn’t I?”

“Uh– I; no, not– I mean… what?”  His voice is airy with confusion. “What do you mean, I just came over to see if you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” You sniffle, giving him a dry chuckle. “Just sad, lonely, and over-worked, but fine.”

You hear a snort and you see him trying to hide his smile.

“Oh, this is a serious subject, mister…”

“Hyunjin,” He smiles a bit, nodding his head in a weird form of recognition. “Hwang Hyunjin.”

“Hwang Hyunjin,” You try out his name on your tongue and it feels just as gracious as he. “What are you doing leaving the party so early?”

“What are you doing leaving work so late?” He shrugs, pushing his hair back, and you think it might be the combination of sadness and loneliness and pure, and unadulterated lust that makes you bite your lip, eyes squinting at the sheer beauty of this man.

“Dickhead boss,” Is your answer, and with a last sniffle, you lean back. The challenge in your voice is probably what makes look at you with such wide eyes, but he doesn’t disappoint.

“Dickhead ex,” He gives it up with a chuckle, and when he raises his head to look at you again, there is a glint of mischievousness in them. “Now tell me, miss…”

“Y/N,” You offer your hand for a shake. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Y/N Y/L/N,” He nods. “Well, miss Y/N, do you feel better?”

You think for a second or two before nodding. “Affirmative.”

“Good, good,” Hyunjin scoots closer to you, tilting his head a bit. You take your time to observe him; dark hair falling over his face, lean eyes, plump lips. This man is sex on legs, you conclude, but there will be none of that tonight. Your sadness can be contained by a tub of vanilla ice cream and three cups of coffee the next morning.  “And tell me, miss Y/N, would you be interested in getting something to eat? There is a stall two blocks over that is pretty damn good.”

You raise one brow, measuring him up and down with your eyes. “Only if you answer me something.”

“What?”

“Are you a psychopath, Hyunjin?”

“Not that I’m aware,” He smirks, eyes squinting.

“Sounds good to me,” You say and get up. “Please lead the way, mister Hwang.”

———————————————————————————————————

The stall two blocks over is pretty damn good, indeed. You two sit on flimsy stools with a plastic table in between; at this point, the pilling plates and accumulating soju bottles only adding fuel to what feels like an endless cycle– you flirt, he laughs, he flirts, you laugh, a sneaky touch, a heated glance, and then, all over again.

“Gotta say,” Hyunjin laughs, the alcohol already in his head and in his voice; words running over each other. “This is not what I was expecting when I first sat down to check on you.”

“Oh?” You smirk, brows raised. “And what were you expecting, Hyunjin?”

“Some sob story about a boyfriend,” His shoulders shrug as if he doesn’t really care, but in his eyes you can see the curiosity brimming, the need for confirmation. “Maybe?”

You chuckle, throwing back another shot– you can either confirm and that’s where the night ends, with each of you peacefully moving on with your own lives; or you can deny it, and have what it’s building up to be one hell of a night… with hellish consequences alike. You’ve had your fair share of stupid decisions and you know how they all end– complicated and it always, always comes back to bite you in the ass. This time, though… this time you think you want a bit of complicated, especially if it looks like Hwang Hyunjin.

“No,” You shake your head, filling your cup again. “No boyfriend."

Before you can drink, his hand lands on your wrist, pulling your arm down. Shaking his head, he leans forward and you can feel his breath on your ear.

“I don’t think you want to get drunk,” The way he chuckles, low and quiet, sends shivers down your spine, and you have to control yourself to not kiss him right there and then. “Y/N.”

“Why?” Your nose touches him and you can sense his self control shaking.

“Because I don’t want you regretting anything that might happen tonight,” Pulling back, Hyunjin signals for the bill. “Or forgetting it, for that matter.”

“And just what might happen tonight, Hyunjin?” You get up, allowing him to help you with your coat. “I am hearing a lot of maybes, around here…”

“If it was up to me, I’d kiss you right now,” There is a teasing tone to his voice. “But you know, it’s not just up to me.”

“I’d kiss you too,” You stop walking, hand finding his to pull towards you. His body clumsily returns closer to yours and although only your hands touch, you are afraid he can feel your heart racing, beating so fast it might just beat straight out of your chest. “If it was up to me.”

“What if I tell you it is?” His hands find your waist, pulling you so slowly that if at any point you changed your mind, it wouldn’t be hard to walk away.

“Then I’d ask you what is taking so long?”

The first kiss is a bit weird; all fumble and no connection. You pull away for a second, about to reason yourself out of this, but he follows and as soon as his lips take over yours for the second time, that’s when you feel it. With his hand on your jaw, he tilts your head to the side and there is more than just a connection, and you swear this is pure ecstasy. Gracious, like you predicted, yet intense, Hyunjin completely dominates you– body towering yours, hands holding you close, mouth claiming you his; and there is nothing forceful about him, nothing aggressive… Hwang Hyunjin is pure confidence, and you give yourself willingly.

“Ah,” You sigh, when he pulls away. “You… you pinky promise you are not a serial killer?”

“I said I wasn’t a psychopath,” He muses, forehead on yours. “Never said anything about being a serial killer.”

“Uh…”

“Lucky for you,” He laughs, pinky hooking with yours and bringing both to his lips. “I am neither. Pinky promise.”

“Lucky me,” You echo, smiling wide. “I’d be even luckier if you said you live nearby.”

“Lucky lady indeed,” Hyunjin kisses you one more time before winking and guiding you through the streets.

Maybe this is what I need, you think, following him pliantly. One night of crazy and unexpected. One night and that’s it.

The next morning, as you sneak out of his apartment, you almost falter. Not because Hyunjin made you feel wanted like you’ve never felt before; not because he made you feel worth it, and sexy, and adored; no, you almost falter because of what he didn’t make you feel. He didn’t make you regret. Ever since him you’ve regretted practically everyone you met– too similar to him, too different from him, too familiar like him. But Hyunjin… Hyunjin is simply Hyunjin.

You leave anyways, though, and that does make you regret. You regret it as soon as you get home, but there is nothing that can be done now. You didn’t leave your number and even though he knows your name, you doubt he’ll come after you. There was something about last night that felt oddly like a goodbye, but Hyunjin makes you forget all about it in seconds.

On the other hand, you doubt you’ll forget him that quickly.

———————————————————————————————————

“Come on, Y/N, we haven’t been out in a while! There is this new place I’ve been meaning to go for a while, and I thought we could go tonight!”

You look at your friend and roll your eyes. Work has been particularly stressful that week, and although you know going to a club will solve absolutely nothing, it might just make you tired enough to sleep properly again; the last time you slept well being… well, being the night you spent with Hyunjin, almost two weeks ago.

“You’re right,” You smile at her, purse on your shoulder and jacket in hands, walking to the elevator before anyone can pull you back into the office. “We should go out tonight.”

“That’s my girl!” She exclaims. “Meet you at yours in two hours?”

“Sounds good,” You wave goodbye, walking to the bus station.

When your bus passes by the familiar bench, you turn your head, not willing to remember past events at that moment. The ride is quick and you make your shower even quicker– you are adamant to have a good time tonight.

You almost don’t hear your friend ringing the doorbell, shimming your way into your silk dress. A final look in the mirror is enough to have you shrugging in a state of ‘whatever’ and you don’t even incite her in, anxious and excited to get to it already. Making your way inside is easy and getting drinks is even easier. Suddenly, there is no more excitement; no anxiousness… everything is just that– easy. There is always something fun about expectations on a night out, but at the moment, you have none. Your friend left you for a guy on the dance floor, the drinks are overpriced and overhyped, and the music is subpar at best.

Sighing, you grab your purse and move to find your friend. You see her by the DJ booth with the same guys and when you point to the exit door she sends you a thumbs up and a wink, and you know she is set for the night. It is only once you leave the stuffy, crowded room that you realize where you are, familiar red food stall standing proud right in front of you.

“So the night’s not lost, after all…” You smile, mumbling to yourself as you cross the street. Thankfully you brought a jacket, although it did little to nothing about the cold nipping at your exposed legs.

The inside is warm and comfortable and you sit on the exact same table you sat two weeks ago, ordering the exact same things, too. Few people had the same idea as you, and even fewer are dressed like you; every bit self-conscious, you remove your jacket, preferring to be cold then have your legs so exposed. You are enjoying your food and slowly working on your drink when a loud group of men walk in. Their laughter is lively and it even makes you smile, but once they sit down on the table next to yours and you hear them murmuring, it’s like a bucket of cold water’s been thrown at you– your shoulder curl inwards and you look down at your hands tightening around your jacket.

You look up, arm raising to signal for the bill to the gentle lady working the stall, but you accidentally look their way as you did it, and once you lock eyes with one of them, your mouth hands open.

“Y/N?!”

“Hyunjin?!”

“No way,” He chuckles, eyes wide in surprise. “This is such a coincidence, what are you doing here?”

“The same as you, apparently,” You laugh, although a bit uncomfortable with the uncertainty lingering in the air.

“Are you alone?”

And there it is, the same need for confirmation as before.

“Yeah,” You mutter, offering him a tight-lipped smile. Getting up, Hyunjin walks to you, carefree smile in place, and when his eyes finally notice you– your posture,– you think you see him softening.

“Do you want to join us?” His thumb points behind himself and some of the other guys wave. “We’re fun, I promise.”

Smiling, you watch Hyunjin steps closer, pinky finger extended in a nostalgic gesture; when you hook your finger with his, he laughs, teasing you about everything and nothing in general. One of the guys pull a stool for you and you thank him shyly, sitting down again and covering your legs.

“Thanks, hyung,” Hyunjin smiles, and you just feel the weight of his jacket being deposited on your shoulders. You meet his eyes and he just winks, ignoring the jokes thrown at you two. “So Y/N, were you out partying?”

“Ha!” You snort, rolling your eyes. “I wish. My friend dragged me to the new club just across the street and left me for a guy.”

“Oof, that’s harsh,” One of the guys chimes in and when you meet his eyes he smiles a freckled smile.

“It really is, isn’t it?” You laugh, already starting to relax.

“Y/N, that’s Felix,” Hyunjin whispers in your ear. “That Seungmin, Jeongin, Chan, Minho, Changbin, and Jisung.”

“The whole crew, huh?” You poke him with your elbow. “A true boys’ boy.”

It takes you a while, but you suddenly realize you’ve seen them before– in Hyunjin’s room, on the pictures on the walls.

“What abut you guys?”

“We were at a bar nearby,” Minho nods in a general direction. “I work there on the week, so usually on the weekend’s I get free drinks.”

“Well, ain’t that the life,” You joke and he joins. After a while, it is like you walked in that stall with all of them, having fun and laughing as if you knew them from years ago.

“Guys,” Chan sighs, a tired smile in his face. “I’m going to head home. It’s getting real late and I have work tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow’s Saturday?” You question, a bit shocked.

“A producer’s job is to always be available,” He yawns, and you simply nod. “But it’s been a pleasure, Y/N. I hope to see you again.”

“Me too,” You are nothing but truthful, wishing him goodnight and announcing your own departure. They all whine and pout and you feel yourself blushing. “It really is late, guys, and I should be getting home.”

Hyunjin gets up as you do, putting his jacket over your shoulders after you wear your own again.

“What are you doing?” You ask, noticing him following you outside.

“I’m taking you home,” His hands are snug in his front pockets, and tilt your head, touched that he’s giving you his jacket even though his flimsy shirt is clearly not enough to keep the cold away.

“Oh,” You look back at his friends inside the stall. “You don’t have to, Hyunjin.”

“I want to,” He assures you. “That’s it… only if you want to?”

Oh, god; there you go again.

“Believe me,” You offer him a smirk and turn around, signaling down a taxi. “I want to.”

He kisses you as soon as you are inside your apartment, and you hate to admit it, but you missed it; the gentleness of his hands, the strength of his kisses, the surrender of control. You give it all to him, and he gladly take is, cherishes it, cares for it.

The sun is rising when you feel him move next to you, pulling away, withdrawing his arms and carefully setting your head on the pillow. You don’t say a word, preferring to watch him instead; Hyunjin slowly sits up, sighing, and your heart breaks a little once you see how defeated he looks, once you notice him looking at you from over his shoulder.

“Are you leaving?”

Your voice is small and weak and almost like putting a barrier in between you two, you hug the pillow he previously laid on closer.

“Y-Yeah,” He clears his throat. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

You watch him slowly dress himself, and you know what he is waiting for– a sign, a plead, but you’ve got none of that left in you; he took it away when he left. The best you can offer Hyunjin is a kiss by the door,  deep and intense, and when the apartment is once again empty and silent, you feel it again; the regret.

“When,” You mutter, voice quiet and unsure, arms holding the pillow close. “When will this feeling go away?”

———————————————————————————————————

It becomes a sort of a habit, this whole going out, meeting Hyunjin at the food stall, and going home with each other thing. Actually, it’s been two months of it. Which also means two months of awkward escapes, and hopeful goodbyes– always hoping, always waiting, for the other to stay longer.

It is after a particularly good night– one in which you two laughed a bit too much, kissed a bit too much, talked a bit too much– that he mentions it for the first time. You’ve noticed that he’s started getting annoyed, but as long as he didn’t say it out loud, you were safe.

“You know,” And just the clipped tone of his voice makes you flinch. You put your t-shirt on, and sneakily grabs his hoodie, dragging it over your head too. “One day, I might just not wait anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Your response is mechanical and fast, and he knows you are just as affected as he is.

“You know what I mean,” He sighs, moving from his bed to stand next to you. “This is good, whatever this is. Sure; it’s really good. But this is not enough.”

You close your eyes, freezing in place. This is not enough.

This is not enough.

Not enough. It’s not enough.

This is not enough.

When will it ever be enough? When will you ever be enough? Enough to stay? Enough to love?

Your breathing starts to pick up and when Hyunjin notices he frowns, moving to try and soothe you, but you pull away as if his touch is poisonous.

“Don’t.”

You’ve never been this harsh, not with Hyunjin. Things in between you two have always been fluid, easy, flexible; they’ve always been gracious. Right now, though, you are tough as stone.

“This,” You choke out, voice strangled by unshed tears. “This is the best I can give you, Hyunjin. To be honest, this is all I can give you! I– I don’t…”

“This?!” He laughs humorlessly. His eyes are wide in shock and you hate the way his mouth is dragging downwards. “This see-you-when-I-see-you thing? Are you happy with it? Are you truly happy with this?”

“I’m–“ And you don’t have the words to tell him that no, you are miserable and you want him by your side everyday, all day. You don’t have the words to tell him that because you also don’t have the words to tell him that this is the best you can do. That you have nothing else to offer to him because it’s been taken away. “I’m okay with it.”

“Okay?!” Hyunjin’s voice is shrill with indignation. “Y/N, I… hell, I don’t do things to be okay. I don’t feel things to be okay. Okay is when you settle; okay is when you are content with how things are because you are afraid that they could be worse, but then you never find out how much better they can be! That’s what’s being fucking okay! And I am not okay!”

“Okay is safe!”

You cover your mouth with your hands as soon as it comes out of it. Hyunjin’s heard you, though, loud and clear, and he looks at you like you slapped him across the face. 

“Okay… is safe,” You whisper again, defeated and ashamed. “Okay doesn’t hurt you. Okay doesn’t leave.”

“You’re wrong,” You look at him when you hear him sniffle and the sight of him crying makes you sob. “You are so very wrong, Y/N. Okay hurts because okay leaves.”

You shake your head, but it’s too late. Nothing you can say will mend this, not right now, not while you’re both so worked up. Hyunjin walks straight past you, and you follow him, all the way down the hallway to the entrance of this apartment. When he opens the door, nodding out with his head, is like your whole body turns into ice, and his next words are what break you apart.

“So I guess I have to ask you to leave.”

———————————————————————————————————

The month you spent away from Hyunjin was tough. Your focus was nowhere and everywhere at the same time, you couldn’t eat nor sleep, spending the nights awake and choosing to self-analyze instead, which ended up in tears and exhaustion. You missed work a couple of times, to the point that your boss emailed you to give you a warning, and you’ve been ignoring your friends’ calls in favor of not having to get up from your bed.

The knock on your door would’ve also past by unnoticed if it didn’t increasingly get louder and stronger, the door shaking by the time you got there.

“What is i–“

And you have to say, you expected it to be your friends. Or your parents. Hell, even Hyunjin would’ve been more probable, but never, in a million years, did you expect to be him. Not him.

“No.”

You almost manage to close the door, but he is stronger and he gently pushes the door open. When his eyes meet yours, it’s like something breaks, like something explodes, and you feel absolutely nothing but anger.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You shout as he steps inside, shutting the door behind him. “Who the fuck invited you to my home?”

“Y/N…” His voice is soft, and familiar, and you remember it; you remember all the times it said ‘I love you’ and all the times it laughed at your jokes. You also remember the time that that same soft voice broke your heart, and as childish as it feels to hold on to that, you don’t care; that is what is keeping you safe from heartbreak again… isn’t it?

“Why are you here?” You manage to control yourself, taking deep breaths and avoiding his eyes.

“Your friend called me,” He explains, still maintaining some distance. He knows you and so he knows how you feel suffocated and cornered when people are too close for comfort. “She’s worried. Something about you not answering the phone and disappearing.”

“As you can see, I’m fine, so you can lea–“

“I was worried too.”

The way he whispers it sounds awfully like a confession and your stomach churns, wanting to expel something but having nothing to throw out.

“We haven’t talked in a year,” You remind him. “What are you even worried about?”

“I’m worried about you!” He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose and you notice he’s loosing his patience. “I haven’t heard from you in a year and then your friend calls me and tells me you might as well be dead!”

“Well, that’s your own fault,” You say, walking to the couch. “You betrayed me.”

“Y/N… I am sorry I hurt you, I really am, but I never betrayed you,” He says, sitting on the armchair opposite to you. “It’s just– things didn’t work out. It happens. I loved you, but I wasn’t in love with you anymore. And I know you felt the same.”

“What?!” You shout, and you raise your head, finally meeting his eyes; instead of the pitiful glance you thought you’d find, you only see certainty.

“Were you even happy?” He questions you, squinting at your lack of reaction. “Were you truly happy? Because I wasn’t! Sure, you were my best fried, but a romantic relationship is more and you know that!”

“I was okay!” You shout and it’s dejavu all over again. “I was… young. I was happy for a while, and I was willing. I– I just… I gave you everything. All I had, I gave it to you. It feels as if when you left, you left me with absolutely nothing! Fucking nothing! And now, a year later, I still have nothing to give to anyone else– do you understand what I’m saying?! I gave everything to the first one and now…”

Now I have nothing.

“I know exactly what you mean.”

The strength behind his voice is surprising, and you let him speak.

“I get it; I really do. I was young, too; I was happy for a while, too,” His breathing is harsh and when the first tear falls, you feel like you stopped breathing. “I gave you all too, goddamnit!”

You still don’t speak, too shocked.

“But I got back on my feet,” He chuckles, and you smile a bit without even noticing. “With the help of my friends and my family and… Sara.”

Sara. The mention of another woman’s name does nothing to you, and you try it out in your mind, letting it echo, feeling it, tasting it. Nothing.

“I met her around four months ago and when I tell you how much I pushed her away, despite needing her closer, I am not lying. I… I thought I had nothing to offer; that I could only hurt her in the end, because she wasn’t you, but time help with that. The more time I spent with her, the less I though of you, and so the more I started to remember you, but not think of you. It weird, moving on– I know it is. But it’s time. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to find someone who will love you better and longer than I did. I gave you my all, but… I rebuilt myself. I changed; I learned new things; I tried different stuff; and before I knew I had new things to offer. You do too. You just have to give yourself a chance, Y/N… god knows you do.”

By the time he is done, you are crying. There he is; your best friend, the man who watched you grow and even helped you sometimes, and suddenly, there is not more anger; there is no more sadness– only a dull nostalgia is present in the back of your heart, and you even allow yourself to smile.

“I missed you,” You whisper, getting up to hug him. “I missed my best friend.”

“I missed you too,” He sniffles again. “And I truly am sorry. But Y/N, okay is not enough. You need to be happy.”

“I know,” You pull away, nodding. “I know I do.”

He nods and you nod and there is a comfortable sense of relief; of closure. After a while, he moves to the door, and you know it’s time to say goodbye. A happier one, this time.

“Goodbye, Y/N,” He smiles.

“Goodbye,” You smile back. “Hoseok.”

———————————————————————————————————

Your knees bounce with anxiety, the taxi taking unnecessarily too long to reach the stall. Once the car stops, you are quick to give him more money than needed and jump out the car, running to the familiar red tent.

You don’t see him at first; eyes expertly searching one man in the middle of many, and you wonder if all nightclubs closed early to have that many people eating there so late. You see a group of friends, a boy by himself, a couple with their back to you, and the sweet lady, running from one side to the other, but no Hyunjin.

“No,” You mutter, rubbing your eyes and trying to focus. “He has to be here, he has to.”

And as if he appeared out of thin air, there he is. Sitting on the table you two sat. Leaning over, smiling, laughing. All the things he did with you. And you don’t blame him, really; a guy like Hwang Hyunjin deserves to laugh and smile and be happy. He is not okay– Hwang Hyunjin will never be okay. You think this is why you leave, hoping he didn’t catch you in the act of hastily turning around and walking out. With a smile of your own, you bask on that familiar feeling that’s been with you ever since you met Hyunjin; you regret to your heart’s content, because he warned you, and you weren’t ready to listen. Now, it’s your turn to wait. He’s done his fair share of it, already.

———————————–

hiiii lovelies!!! I hope you enjoyed this one! I’ve had this plot in my head for so long and when I thought of Hyunjin for it I knew he’d be perfect! What do you think? As always, leave a comment and let me know <3 Love you all!❤️

#stray kids #stray kids imagine #stray kids imagines #stray kids as #skz #skz imagines #skz imagine #skz as #bang chan #Lee Minho #lee felix #seo changbin #hwang hyunjin #han jisung #lee know #kim Seungmin #yang jeongin #imagine #imagines #multifandom imagines #scenario #kpop scenarios #stray kids hyunjin #hyunjin imagines #hyunjin imagine #hyunjin slice of life #hyunjin angst #hyunjin fluff #hyunjin #dalamjisung

[peachyunjinnie]

Hwang Hyunjin A-Z

chan  minho  changbin  hyunjin  jisung  felix  seungmin

masterlist  making out with hyunjin

pairing ➛ hwang hyunjin x female reader.

genre ➛  a - z list.

synopsis ➛ this is an alphabetical list of smut themes, from aftercare to kinks everything is covered in this post.

word count ➛  1.1k

author’s note  ➛  the hyunjin ver. of the chan list. i really hope you enjoy !!

A: Aftercare

Hyunjin would be naturally good at aftercare, so he would just do it without realizing it. Cleaning you up and getting to bed with some deep conversations. About how lucky he is to have you or that fate did have anything to do with your relationship.

B: Body

On himself: He loves his lips a lot. They are really full and soft. He also loves his mole under his left eye. He thinks it’s something unique and different.

On his S/O: He loves your hips, the way he puts hickeys on them and when you two are dancing the way it moves so smoothly and effortlessly. He is absolutely obsessed with your hips, not even kidding he loves them A L O T

C: Cum

Okay, his main place is stomach up to face. He admires the way you are covered in his cum, claiming you and marking you as his. The moment he sees you with his cum covering your naked body, this boy will lose his mind

D: Dirty Secret

Hyunjins Dirty Secret is that he keeps a pillow over in between his legs and pillow humps it, when you aren’t there. He gets really needy and horny and needs something to hump. There he sees on of your pillows and did it once.

E: Experience

He is probably a little experienced. Like kissing and making out, maybe biG MAYBE fingered a girl once. But as he is a trainee since he was about 16 and doesn’t have too much and bIGGEST MAYBE EVER could’ve had some weird and awkward sex before at like 15 or something.

F: Favorite Position

His Favorite Position is definitely: The lotus. Where in this position you both are hugging each other and you have to kinda ride him while he thrusts upward, creating a perfect rhythm.

G: Goofy

He is serious, not playing and he knows what to do to get you begging him for more. He keeps it romantic and intimate by smiling at you for a little seeing your nose scrunch and your eyes close tightly. Seeing you like this underneath his touch he will keep you satisfied.

H: Hair

He is groomed but as Chan, I don’t believe that he is completely bare. He may have a little hair but not all gone. Trims it about every 3rd day and keeping his hair pretty down.

I: Intimacy

He is so passionate and intimate when it comes to making love. Kisses and hickeys all over your neck and décolleté, he is making it feel like your on cloud 9 with his hips moving so steady and rhythmic. Drives you insane when he goes slow and deep.

J: Jack Off

Hyunjin is needy and maybe jacks off about 5x a week. He does it in the shower and in his room at night. He got caught couple of times by Seungmin, who stared at him in the shower-

K: Kink

Praise : Giving Receiving

Oral : Giving Receiving

TEASING : Giving

Overstimulation : Giving

Edging : Giving

Hickeys : Receiving

L: Location

In bed and once after the concert in the bathroom. He prefers the bedroom and to keep it there, he had a little trauma when seungmin saw him so he doesn’t like to get the sexual life of you two of his or your bedroom.

M: Motivation

When he sees you dance or just doing a little dance, he may never admit it but he loves it a little more than other people would. You did a choreography with him for his practices for attention and learned it. You danced it and he was amazed by how you move so fluently and effortlessly smooth. Hickeys get him as well. He loves it when his neck is full and violet.

N: NO

Never ever BDSM. This whole tying and everything really freaks him out, the furthest he’ll go is choking but more than that he could never ever hurt you. So no BDSM for you.

O: Oral

He is so so good, like have you seen the performance of ‘Who’s Your Mama?’. This man can do things with his tongue, with his soft lips giving you chills all over your body. He would do it like it’s nothing and just loves to see you receiving instead of always giving.He is a sucker for blowjobs. He just loves the way you just improved so much, since Hyunjin is your first and he showed you what he enjoys the most. He is highly proud of your improvement.

P: Pace

As I said in Intimate, he goes slow and deep. He doesn’t hump you like a bunny but just wants to make love to you and give you the best and most amazing feeling. His body rolls explain it all, just the way he does it: slow and rolling hips.

Q: Quickie

He prefers slow and deep and at home! If he is needy he just masturbates instead of a quickie. Seungmin really traumatized my homeboy

R: Risk

Keeps. It. In. The. Bedroom. No risk No getting caught, this would pretty much be his motto.

S: Stamina

Hyunjin, a dancer would have pretty good stamina but bOY HE SWEATY. Like a sexy sweat and not a gross sweat, get it? On stage, this boy is covered in sweat and just keeps going on and I think there’s no difference in bed. He could go for about 2 rounds with a lot of foreplay.

T: Toy

Has a vibrator and that’s more than enough for you and him. He is such a tease and adds the vibrator to get you screaming and shaking. He loves overstimulation and does every here and there to spice things up.

U: Unfair

He is really teasing and doesn’t know where the line is of a little teasing and straight-up mean. He edged you one time and it was the best thing ever that the two of you were playing for the whole night until you collapsed.

V: Volume

A whiner. He whiner combined groaner. He whines when he is close or cums. He groans mostly when he snaps his hips. Grinding into you so deliciously.

W: Wild Card

H i c k e y s. He is a sucker for hickeys. Give him a hickey and he is going to wreck you. He loves the feeling of the hickey and the color of the violet. His neck, chest, his tummy iT DOESNT MATTER just a hickey and he is beyond gone.

X: X- Ray

Okay, he is long and not very thick. A veiny little boy. He is very slick like a stick. A fire-red tip with precum leaking out.

Y : Yearning

n e e d y. But just like Chan doesn’t show it to anyone. His yearning is crazy, tugs at your shirt and smirks “you wanna go...?" would be a scenario that would happen way too often.

Z : ZZZ

He is a cuddler. Skinship is everything and after a long convo of his day and your day you fall asleep, holding him tight to you. After a little while of smiling and thanking God for having the honor to meet you, he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

#Stray Kids #Stray Kids Hyunjin #Stray Kids Hwang Hyunjin #SKZ Hwang Hyunjin #SKZ Hyunjin #Hyunjin #Hwang Hyunjin #Hyunjin Smut #Hwang Hyunjin Smut #Stray Kids Smut #SKZ Smut #a z stray kids #a z challenge #Kpop Smut #Smut #A Z Kpop

[minniewoos]

A Little Pick-Me-Up ➣ Hwang Hyunjin

Genre: highschool au, slice of life, fluff

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

Word Count: 1,961

Summary: Hyunjin gets a little worried after he heard you fainted at school.

From Jinnie [11:36]: hey, why aren't u in class?

From Jinnie [11:37]: Y/N

From Jinnie [11:37]: y/n

From Jinnie [11:37]: y/f/n answer me

From Jinnie [11:38]: ….

From Jinnie [11:38]: .......................

From Jinnie [11:41]: AHHHHH

From Jinnie [11:42] WHY R U IN THE NURSES OFFICE

From Jinnie [11:42]: Lix just told me T.T

From Jinnie [11:42]: I'm seeing ur ass after class

To Jinnie [11:46]: I just passed out you loser

To Jinnie [11:46]: stop spamming

From Jinnie [11:48]: :(

To Jinnie [11:48]: no need to worry so calm down :(

The nurse's office was quiet other than the sound of the nurse printing papers in the room next door. You set your phone down once you figured Hyunjin wasn't going to reply back and decided to just rest for a while. You sighed as you rubbed your head, a headache was coming on, and you hoped it didn't become a migraine. School nurses mostly didn't do much, but at least they let you lay down on the beds in the other room. They were uncomfortable and leathery, but they did the job.  

Bright white light shone through the window in the room, and really just annoyed you. So you reached over to shut the blinds, rattling against each other as they fell over the window. You scanned the room, grateful that your school had a separate room for a place to rest. Otherwise, you probably would've gone insane from sitting in a room with your school nurse for longer than five minutes. Not that she was unkind, but just a little weird. Her large eyes gave her the appearance of a frightening bug, and the woman had a tendency to stare. You shivered.

Laying down once more, you closed your eyes to get some peace in the quaint room. And at some point, despite the hard lumpy bed, you drifted off to sleep.

That is until your door was creaked open and your good old buddy old pal Hyunjin came in. And he was a loud motherfucker.

"Tell me what happened! Are you okay?? Oh--shit you're sleeping…" His loud voice dwindled when he noticed you sleeping. He needlessly covered his mouth with his hand before stepping inside and quietly shutting the door behind him. He did so with a little more pomp and circumstance than required.

"Well, I was sleeping until somebody came in." You acted annoyed and sat up, rolling your eyes at him with an impish smile.

Hyunjins shoulders raised and he smiled apologetically before he sat on the bed across from yours, elbows resting on his knees. You crossed your legs and faced him, then a look of confusion crossed your face.

"Wait. How'd you get in here? The nurses don't let-"

"She was sleeping." He winked and chuckled, leaning forward comfortably.

"Good, her eyes freak me out." You scoffed.

A weird look crossed Hyunjins face, and he cringed, "Ah, actually...she sleeps with her eyes open…"

"You're kidding!" Your jaw dropped, and the creepy image passed through your head. A shudder ran down your spine, and you shook your head to rid the image.

"No, I'm not joking. It was freaky." He shook his head, lips still curled back in unease. Then he looked at you for a moment, "But seriously, I'm glad you're doing okay."

"...yea, thanks for checking up." It warmed your heart to see that Hyunjin actually came to see you. You smiled at him, "It means a lot."

"Um, of course, what kind of friend would I be?" He teased. "So, tell me what happened. All Felix knew was that you passed out last class."

A heavy sigh escaped your lips, and your eyes trailed down, "You're gonna make fun of me."

"Me? Make fun of you? No, never." Sarcasm dripped off his tongue.

"Oh, shut up you loser." You threw the unfluffed pillow at him, which he caught anyway.

"Fine, but really tell me." He hugged the pillow and looked at you, earnestly, "You really worried me when I heard."

You smiled at Hyunjin, the butterflies in your stomach were flying all around at his comment. This boy really did cause your stomach to do flips and all kinds of tricks, in all honesty, you felt like a lovesick fool around him. But he just made you too happy to not be so touched by his actions. He may be a little dumb sometimes...and a little annoying, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Hyunjin continually shows that he genuinely cares about you, which you appreciate greatly. And this was another thing to add to the "Reasons why Hyunjin is Perfect" book.

"Okay okay, fine." you sigh and shrug limply, "I overworked myself."

Hyunjins brows furrowed, "That's it?"

You glared at him.

"No no no, I didn't mean it like that." Hyunjin straightened his back and waved his hands in front of him dismissively. "I mean, you're embarrassed about that?"

"Well, yea…" You rubbed your arm. "Fainting in the middle of class is kind of embarrassing, its a lot of unwanted attention and all because I thought I could do more than I was capable of. I wasn't sleeping or eating or resting and...yea."

"Hey it's okay," Hyunjin encouraged, "It wasn't more than you were capable of, it just shows you have big ambitions! You just need to learn to take care of yourself better, got it? You're one of the hardest working people I know, and I don't want you putting yourself down."

When you wouldn't answer or look him in the eye, Hyunjin stood up. You weren't sure what he was doing since you could only see his feet and legs, but when you lifted your chin up, you saw him with arms wide open. A soft look in his eyes and welcoming arms, he was offering you a hug. And you began to tear up at the touching gesture.

You sniffed once, then twice, then basically sprang up to tackled him in a hug. The stress you've been accumulating just pouring out of you all at once. The tears came quickly, and in a steady stream, as you buried your face in his chest, his arms wrapped securely around you. You were sure you looked like a mess, you could see it now. Red face, messy hair, shaky breaths. Yet Hyunjin rubbed your back calmly, whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

It was hard to tell how long you cried into his shoulder, it could've been a couple minutes to a half hour. But you were absolutely grateful to Hyunjin at that moment. You were about to make a comment on how he was your steady rock, but you heard a sniffle. And it wasn't from you.

"If you keep crying, then you're gonna make me cry." Hyunjin laughed as he wiped the small tears forming in his eyes.

"Oh, you're just a big soft sweetheart." You cooed teasingly and pinched his cheek, your sniffles turning into amused giggles. Hyunjin grimaced and swatted your hand away gently, but then wiped the tears from your stained cheeks.

"I'm okay with being a softy if that's what it takes to keep you happy." Hyunjin smiled at you once again, igniting the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.

You rested your head on his chest and mumbled, "If it's you, I'll always be happy."

Hyunjin untangled himself from your grasp excitedly. The look on his face only meant mischief, "Oh, I just got an idea!!"

"What what what?" You asked, taken aback by his sudden liveliness.

"How about we," He smiled roguishly, glancing towards the door before back at you "skip the rest of our classes for the day. And go out for something to eat."

"Well," You began, unsure. "I want to catch up on homework, and I still have that project due next week."

Hyunjin gave you a look, deadpanned and wry. "Really? Okay, I'll convince you. You need to eat since you just passed out, and I'll treat you to some quality food at like, Denny's or iHop or something. Then afterward, we'll just chill and hang out. Which, in the long run, will reduce stress levels and make you more productive later. Okay?"

The room was silent for a while as you thought about it, a frown settling onto your face. That it until Hyunjin pouted at you, and you were hooked.

"Ugh, okay fine, I'll go!" You sighed while Hyunjin silently celebrated his tiny victory, his arms shot up straight in the air. Despite your hesitation to go, seeing Hyunjin so animated got you laughing along with him as well.

It wasn't hard to sneak past the nurse, she was still sleeping. And Hyunjin wasn't kidding when he said he slept with her eyes open; she was still sat up and staring. But even calling her name didn't faze her.

You and Hyunjin shared a look before laughing and slipping past the door. Even leaving the school wasn't hard at all. You just walked out, and that was that. You were surprised.

"It's that easy?" You wondered, "And you seem to know what you're doing."

"It's all in the confidence, if you look suspicious, then they will be suspicious. Honestly, I've never skipped in the middle of class before." Hyunjin laughed and fished out his car keys. "But you couldn't tell, right?"

You shook your head, "I was beginning to think you skipped regularly."

"Nope." He feigned offense and look down at you, hand on his chest and nose all scrunched up. "What, you think I'm some kind of thug??"

With eyebrows raised in amusement, you snorted at the thought. Hyunjin was not thug material, and he knew that. You gave Hyunjin a quick up and down look, "Definitely not."

Once in the car, Hyunjin focused on getting the two of you to your destination in one piece. While you were left the responsibility of being DJ, so you hooked your phone up and began scrolling through your music.

While picking between playlists, your phone rumbled, and you got a text. Mildly interested, you switched your attention to that conversation instead.

From Lix [12:51]: Hey hey hey y/n :P

To Lix [12:51]: lol what is it?

From Lix [12:52]: Did Hyunjin tell you?

To Lix [12:52]: what?

From Lix [12:53]: He was tearing up when he heard you fainted, he was v worried about you

From Lix: [12:53]: He kinda looked like a lost puppy lol, v sweet

Well, Hyunjin didn't tell you that, but you wouldn't put it past him. You knew Hyunjin had a soft heart, and it honestly touched you how worried he got about you. But that wouldn't stop you from teasing the hell out of the poor boy. You grinned to yourself as you thought up a reply. Before you could, Felix beat you to it.

From Lix [12:55]: You guys should just date already lol

You sputtered as you took a quick glance at Hyunjin driving, blushed, and looked back down at your phone. The thought of dating Hyunjin has definitely crossed your mind before, and it surely was now.

To Lix [12:55]: pay attention in class.

After replying, you chose a random playlist and shut your phone off, not wanting Felix to get you even more nervous. But you did take the opportunity to tease your buddy, "So...Felix just told me you were tearing up after you heard I fainted?"

"Ah…" Hyunjin sighed, but you saw the tips of his ears growing pink, "Felix should learn to withhold some information."

"No, no, I think he's perfectly fine." You laughed, looking at him endearingly. "Besides, it's sweet. You're my little worrywart."

Hyunjin smiled at your words, and he glanced at you, stars in his eyes, "As long as I'm yours."

A/N: I’m so slow at requests wow lol. But yea, this was a request from an anon! Hope you enjoyed it hehe, it was something quick to post while I work on my bigger projects too

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