#i am not walking 6 and a half miles IN THE FUCKING DARK especially when we're in the middle of a warm front

[lightningfilledsaber]

I FUCKING WALKED 6.5 MILES IN ONE GO TODAY

#mud rambles #I'm still catsitting lmfao and because my tire AND rim is fucked and it's sunday i do not have a car!!!! #and i can't leave those cats unfed for an entire day!!!! #I was able to get a ride home but i wouldnt have been able to get a ride there in time and i was already not there as early as i wouldve lik #on the bright side. she is supposed to be home tmrw so i shouldnt have to do that again EL OH EL #i give credit mostly to the testosterone and my naturally large calves for being able 2 do that because. #this is not a normal thing i do. i dont work out consistently at all #im. like. it sucked i had to do that but also the fact i was able to makes me rlly proud #and getting to be outside and just walk was nice especially once i caught that second wind LMFAO #having to wait for. like two hours to be picked up kinda sucked but it was peaceful. it was just too cold and getting dark so i couldnt walk #all the way back home safely because the walk is. already not fucking safe lmfao and i was wearing ALL BLACK #yeah. not fucking chancing it #i had sidewalk literally for like. 300 FEET. MAYBE #like. I live in the fucking rural ass northeastern part of the appalachian mountains. we have main routes but it's still assfuck nowhere #i am not walking 6 and a half miles IN THE FUCKING DARK especially when we're in the middle of a warm front #we have coyotes and bears and while mountain lions arent typically in my area... it would be my fucking luck to get fucking murked by one #and like. deer may not be predators but. nepa. rural areas. NIGHT??? I am not chancing coming across something ELSE. ifykyk #anyway. i am home now. all is well. but goddamn i am having an eventful ass start to the fucking year huh

[sour--disposition]

Bad Girlfriend

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harry lewis x fem!reader

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@ketamineharry suggested a harry imagine based off of Anne-Marie’s Bad Girlfriend and voila

please check my pinned post for request/prompt info and my masterlist

You cancel plans for me - I cancel ours on you - Say I'd be back early - I don't get in 'til 2 - You ask me where I've been - I tell you something vague - Think I messed up again - What can I say

You were sick and tired of Harry and his behaviour. When you first got together, you chalked his actions up to being young and dumb. And then to getting used to having more money. Then you blamed it on having to deal with so much at such a young age. 

The excuses piled up, one on top of the other. You knew one day it would all come toppling down around you, drowning you and Harry in a sea of problems that you doubted you’d be able to survive. You’d excused cheating, been by his side during hangovers from hell and comedowns that took too long to make Harry realise that the high really wasn’t worth the pain. You’d rubbed his back and handed him bottles of water and paracetamol and nursed him back to health, only for him to go and get in the same state the next weekend and expect you to help him gather the pieces back together again.

You’d tried to patch things up. Every time that you went to Harry to air all your concerns, tell him that if he doesn’t get his act together that you’d leave, and he always promised that things would be better this time. But something would always happen. There’d be plans he’d forget or cancel. He’d get too drunk and end up with hands over another girl’s body. 

“Ooh, you look nice”, Harry commented as soon as you answered his FaceTime call. “What are you doing?”, he asked you.

“I’m off out with some girls from uni tonight”, you told him as you stood up from the sofa and started gathering your things together.

“I thought you were coming over?”, he said, a small pout forming on his lips.

“Sorry”, you said nonchalantly. “I’ll make it up to you, yeah”, you told him half-heartedly.

“Yeah, whatever”, Harry huffed. “Come back here after?”, he suggested.

“Sure”, you said, a small smile on your lips. “I’ve gotta go, their taxi just pulled up. Love you”, you rushed out, hanging up and shoving your phone into your clutch, along with your keys, card and some cash.

Harry 💕: where are you it’s 11?

Harry💕: y/n c’mon i miss you

Harry💕: am i waiting up for you or not?

Harry💕: its 2am

You didn’t read the texts until you were swaying on the spot in the lift of Harry’s apartment building. Your vision was fuzzy as you tried to find the right key for their front door. “Y/N?”, Harry asked, opening the door.

“Hey”, you slurred, stumbling towards him. “I couldn’t see your key”, you told him.

“Where’ve you even been?”, Harry asked, voice dripping with distaste and disappointment.

“Here, there, everywhere”, you giggled. 

“Come on, go to bed”, Harry said sternly. “I have a shoot tomorrow and Josh will kill me if I’m late or lacking”, he told you.

“Oh, I am so very sorry”, you drawled, exaggerating all of your words, much to your own amusement.

“I’m not being funny, Y/N. Go to bed or go home”, Harry said sharply.

Your face dropped, the small square inch of your brain that was yet to be drenched in vodka and whatever else you’d been drinking lit up with anger. “Fine”, you snapped. You stormed down the hallway, sure of your footing this time and not stumbling once.

“Where are you going?”, Harry called after you.

“Home!”, you shouted, wrenching the front door open and slamming it behind you as hard as you could.

You shivered in the cold, late night wind of London as you waited on the curbside for your taxi. As soon as the car pulled up, you slid into the backseat and rattled off your address. The street lights and neon signs of London passed by in a blur of alcohol and anger and regret. “Thanks. Keep the change”, you muttered, handing a note over to the driver and getting out of the taxi.

Once you’d got back into your apartment, you changed into some pyjamas and took your make-up off as quickly as possible. You crawled under the covers, pulling them around your body and getting comfy in the middle of your bed. 

Part of you felt a little guilty for how you’d treated Harry, but a bigger part of you couldn’t find the effort to care. You’d put up with Harry acting like this for 6 years, he could tolerate you doing it once or twice.

-

You wanna meet my friends - I say another day

“Another day, Harry”, you sighed, heavily, turning back to the work you were trying to get done for your classes.

“You always say that. You’ve been on this course for, like, a year”, Harry whined.

“I know but I really need to focus on work at the moment, Harry”, you told him. “I started my degree later than I wanted to anyway and then I didn’t commit to it like I should have last year because of…”, you trailed off.  “Another day”.

“Because of what?”, Harry asked, voice taking a combative edge as he sat up straighter.

“Harry, I don’t want to get into this again”, you sighed heavily, slumping into your chair.

“Well, you started it!”, he argued. “So finish your sentence. Go on!”, he goaded.

“I couldn’t commit to my degree because I was too busy looking after you!”, you shouted. “Is that what you wanted? Me to lash out? Fucking well done”, you spat. You gathered up your things as quick as you could, closing your book and shoving things into your bag.

“Where are you going now?”, Harry asked frustratedly.

“Home. I have an essay to do for next week”, you muttered as you shoved past Harry.

Things between you and Harry were only getting worse. You knew about the other girls, but the both of you just pretended that you didn’t. All of his friends saw Harry as some sheepish kid with a loud mouth girlfriend, but they never got to see the Harry that you were seeing more and more. The Harry that held things from years ago against you, the Harry that was becoming more controlling by the day, the Harry that would raise his voice when things went even slightly not his way… The Harry that wasn’t the same Harry that you fell in love with.

-

'Cause I'm one in a million - More like in a billion - I don't think it's cheating if I'm kissing other women - I do some shit you can't forgive - And you better get used to it

The more you and Harry argued, the more his friends didn’t like you. They hid it well, especially Simon and Josh since you were such good friends with Talia and Freya. But you noticed the side glances you’d get anytime you laughed a little louder than usual, any time you’d say something that would make Talia or Freya cackle. You’d notice the looks that they would send Harry when you had the audacity to go and dance and your own, or when you’d be on your phone whilst everyone else was fighting to keep you out of the conversation.

You had no doubt in your mind that Harry was telling them bare-faced lies about you and hiding the truth about himself. You knew that they had no clue about Harry’s cheating, about how bad his drinking and substance abuse had truly been, how much he actually relied on you for day to day functioning. All they knew was that you were loud, argumentative and didn't give Harry the time of day when it came to uni work.

“Do you think she knows she’s punching?”, you heard Ethan ask JJ.

“I mean, it’s so obvious. Harry’s miles out of her league. C’mon man!”, JJ laughed in reply.

You looked to Harry to see his reaction. You knew he’d heard what was said, but based on the look on his face, he couldn’t care less. You didn’t need the validation from your boyfriend’s best friends, but it would be nice if your boyfriend would at least defend you or reassure you.

You rolled your eyes and turned to leave the table, heading towards the toilets. You were facing the mirror, touching up your hair and make-up, when Freya and Talia walked in. “What happened?”, Talia asked.

You told them what you’d heard and watched as their faces contorted into looks of horror. “Oh my god!”, Freya exclaimed. “What did Harry say!?”, she asked, coming closer to hold you hand supportively.

Your silence answered their question perfectly. “I can’t believe him”, Talia huffed, wrapping her arms around you.

“Things haven’t been great, but I never thought he’d just sit and let his best friends slag me off practically to my face”, you told them. Your eyes were watery.

“Hey, babe. Don’t let your mascara run”, a dark haired girl told you, handing you a tissue. “Whoever is letting someone slag you off is stupid”, she assured you.

“My boyfriend”, you said sadly. 

“I hate boys”, she laughed darkly, rolling her eyes, before rejoining her group of friends.

You, Talia and Freya emerged from the toilets around 5 minutes later, once you were sure that your tears had dried and weren’t going to restart. The three of you walked towards the table, Freya and Talia immediately sliding next to Josh and Simon.

“Where’s Harry?”, you asked, not seeing him anywhere. Ethan gave you a look and pointed towards the dancefloor before turning back to his conversation with JJ and Vik.

You glanced over towards the dancefloor, hoping you’d see Harry. Thankfully, he was towards the edge, back turned towards you. You watched as he turned around, ready to try and grab his attention. His eyes met yours, briefly filling with panic, before darting back down to the girl in his arms.

“Fuck this”, you muttered, as Harry’s friends and Freya and Talia all watched as he tried to assess the situation and what to do.

He watched as you walked closer, looking ready to send the stranger away. Harry’s eyes followed you as you sailed past him and towards the middle of the dance floor. You could feel eyes on you as you began dancing to the music, letting the beat mix with the alcohol and take over your body.

“Did you sort things with your boyfriend?”, a female voice asked. It was the girl from the bathroom. You rolled your eyes somewhat playfully at her.

“No”, you snorted. “I came to speak to him and he was all over another girl”, you told her. Your eyes darted over to where you’d last seen Harry. “That’s him there, sucking face with the blonde”.

“I hope he’s your ex-boyfriend now”, she told you, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s complicated”, you admitted, looking down in shame. It wasn’t news to you that you were letting Harry treat you like a doormat, but you had yet to muster up the courage to leave him. Just as you looked up, ready to offer to explain it over a drink, someone behind you shoved you, sending you catapulting into the girl’s arms.

“Careful there, can’t have you falling for me already. I’ve not even started flirting yet”, she told you with a smirk. “Martha”, she said politely, holding out a hand.

“Y/N”, you told her with a shy smile as you accepted her outstretched hand.

“Care for a dance?”, Martha asked you, pulling you closer with the hand that was still in hers.

You didn’t care if Harry and his friends watched as your bodies rolled together. Harry had never danced with you on a night out like this, never held you shamelessly in a club for everyone to see. Harry had never held your face so securely as he pulled you in for a kiss in front of everyone around you.

“What the fuck, Y/N?”, you heard beside you.

“Is this the boyfriend?”, Martha asked once she’d pulled back and let her eyes flutter open, eyeing Ethan up and down as soon as she had.

“The boyfriend’s best friend”, you told her, preparing to step out of her hold.

“Last time I checked, the boyfriend was preoccupied with someone else. Get him to come and find me when he wants his girlfriend. We’ll be right here”, she said, voice powerful and allowing no argument as her arms held you closer.

Harry never came to find you. The two of you left the club in separate taxis and you left with a new number saved in your phone.

-

You should be with someone else - Someone who is not myself

“Harry, you deserve so much better”, you heard a voice say as you walked into Harry’s apartment. You walked down the hallway quietly, lingering just behind the door frame to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“We’ve been together for so long, though”, Harry sighed.

“Did you not see what she did the other night? She was all over some other chick!”, a voice, Simon’s, exclaimed.

“Maybe it was just a mistake, y’know”, Harry tried to reason.

“She’s not good for you, Harry”, JJ, this time, said.

You’d heard enough. You turned the corner, coming face to face with all 7 of the boys. “Y/N…”, Harry trailed off.

“No, no. Carry on talking about me, it’s fine”, you said, voice lathered in artificial sweetness.

“Damnit, Y/N, it wasn’t like that”, Harry snapped, surprising everyone but you. “What are you doing?”, he asked as you started gathering a blanket off of the back of the sofa and plucking a hoodie off of the back of a dining room chair..

“Getting my shit and going”, you hissed.

“You’re being dramatic”, Harry scolded.

“No, Harry. I’ve put up with your bullshit since we were 18. I’m sick and tired of it. I’ve put my life on hold for long enough. You need someone, but I’m not that someone anymore. I’m sick of looking after you and letting your friends hate me just because you’re too much of a coward to tell them the truth”, you spat.

“We know everything, Y/N”, Ethan said smugly, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

“So you know that I started my degree late because I had to get Harry sober? You know that he’s cheated on me more times than I can count? You know that I’ve tried for 6 fucking years to get him to love me as much as I love him and it’s never fucking worked!?”, you all but yelled, shocking everyone in front of you.

“You think I don’t love you?”, Harry asked, voice frustrated and angry.

“I know that you don’t love me as much as I love you”, you told him simply. “You cancelled 3 anniversary dates to go on nights out with the guys. You made me cancel a weekend away because you wanted to go to Dubai. You get annoyed when I try to do my uni work. You let Ethan and JJ slag me off, practically to my face, and didn’t say a fucking word”, you told him.

You looked at Harry, waiting for a reaction. “Do you know how heartbreaking it is to hear my boyfriend’s best friends, people I’ve known for 6 years, say that I’m punching and that you deserve better? Did you think about how much it hurt me when you didn’t even flinch at what they said?”.

Harry’s face lit up in anger. “It’s not like you’ve been a good girlfriend!”, he spat.

“Because being a good girlfriend to you is like a full time job. It’s a full time job and I haven’t had a day off in over 5 years. So yeah, I’ve been a bad girlfriend… Boo fucking hoo”, you grumbled.

Harry remained silent, a sheepish look crossing his face. “We can try again”, he suggested quietly.

“We have! Over and over again!”, you exclaimed, tears welling in your eyes as you spoke. “I’m exhausted, Harry. I’m tired of looking after you when I’m just as hungover as you. I’m tired of not making plans because I literally can not afford for you to cancel on me anymore. You don’t value me or anything that I do. Your friends hate me and you don’t care. I’ve been your last priority for years and I’m sick of it. We’re done. I’ll put your stuff in a box and bring it round”, you told him, voice losing more and more strength as you spoke.

“Y/N…”, Harry tried, reaching for your arm.

“Don’t”.

#harry lewis #w2s #wroetoshaw #harry lewis imagine #harry lewis x reader #harry lewis oneshot #w2s imagine #w2s oneshot #w2s x reader #wroetoshaw imagine #wroetoshaw x reader #wroetoshaw oneshot #sidemen #sidemen imagine #sidemen oneshot #sidemen x reader #song imagine #lyric imagine #uk youtube #uk youtube imagine

[theyoutubedork]

Coworkers

Part 2 out now!

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.2k

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Finally getting a month to yourself after an undercover mission, you go to the park a few blocks away. But someone on your left scared you half to death.

Warnings: Mention of a kind of screwed up book but my actual sister read this book and I thought it’d be fun to add.

This could a potential series so let me know if you’d be into a Captain America: Winter Soldier era fanfic.

Spring has finally arrived, and you couldn’t have waited any longer. Winter has gone on way too long for your liking, and you’re finally ready to go outside. You finally got to fulfill your craving of having the sun warm up your face. Thankfully, you were in a comfortable climate during spring.

Living in Washington D.C was the last place you thought you’d move to, but it definitely has its perks. Mainly, it’s parks. God, the natural scenery was to die for. Your favorite was the Lincoln Memorial. You fell in love with the giant water feature, that seemed to stretch for what looks like miles. You loved the way the scenery reflected off of it. Especially when colorful leaves drift on top of it. But it’s not fall, it’s spring.

You decided early this morning that you would visit the Lincoln Memorial, jumping back into your seasonal routine. You lived only a few blocks from there, so you decided to go on foot. You slipped on your dark green trench-coat and your purse and walked out the door of your apartment. You started walking your way down to the park. You let the familiar sights on your route flood back in, since you’ve been gone for a decent while.

You finally got a month to yourself after being on a undercover mission for your new job at Shield. Well, you’ve worked there for a year and a half, but they finally promoted you from pencil pusher to part-time pencil pusher to who would’ve guessed, part-time spy. You just finished your first undercover mission which wasn’t really much. You didn’t get to see any action, which was disappointing, but you helped intercept a pretty large illegal weapons trade. You were told that you’d have to wait a month before going on a another mission. You were given absolutely no information, so you guessed either they had some stupid policy for new agents, or they wanted to make you stew for a month, thinking about all the things you could’ve done wrong that caused this suspension-like break.

You finally break out of your thoughts when you stop next to the tall white traffic light on the sidewalk. You finally arrived at the memorial, right across the street. You quickly glance to your sides, and took your time walking across the street, given that it was 6 am and barely anyone was awake. Thankfully, you were still suffering from jet lag after being in a country many hours ahead, for a few months. No more sleeping in till 12 on weekends.

You finally cross the street and start following your usual walking path. You liked walking around for a bit before sitting down to read, a new habit you’re trying to pickup. You had a new book recommendation from your sister, someone’s who is well seasoned with her taste in books. The book was nestled into your purse, the same copy that your sister read. You pulled it out scanning the face out it, lightly sifting through the pages. You let out a small smile. She had told you that she wrote in annotations, and you had brought a pencil, ready to respond to her thoughtful annotations with cheesy jokes and dumb observations. You couldn’t wait to send it back to her.

After a few minutes you spotted a few runners like usual, all staying on the grassy paths that were well away from where you were walking next to the artificial pond. You never understood why they would pass up on seeing your own reflection as you walked through the beautiful capital.

That’s why it scared the ever loving shit out of you when a tall figure ran right past you, making you let out a small yelp of surprise as you accidentally let go of the book. Quickly, the figure snapped back to catch the book, saving it before it fell right into the pond. Your vision finally trailed from the book, to the hand holding it, connecting to one gorgeous arm and– oh my god his body was gorgeous. His biceps were basically screaming in his under armor shirt. And those navy sweatpants hugged his hips amazingly. Don’t even get started on the abs. You finally look up to his face and suddenly your face heats up from not only the sun.

Of course it had to be Steve Rogers. The Captain America. The Avenger who had now caught you ogling his body, with your book in his hand and a small smirk on his lips. Your mouth went bone dry trying to think of something to say. Thankfully he filled the silence,

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologized. He glanced down your figure not so subtly, before he quickly flicked his eyes over to your book.

“No, I’m sorry, I didn’t even hear you coming.” You laughed nervously, gripping onto your purse strap as if it would help anchor yourself to reality. This man was too fucking distracting.

“‘One Hundred Years of Solitude?’” He questioned, flipping the book in his hands to read the back of it, “Seems awfully sad just by the sound of it,” he muttered. You let out a small chuckle, making his face turn up to yours. He smiles at the sound of your laugh. He likes it.

“I couldn’t agree more, but my sister, (S/N). is forcing me to read it because she hated reading it,” you say, taking the book back into your hands as he offered it to you.

“Why would your sister make you read a book she hates?” Steve questioned with an even larger smile on his face.

“I don’t know, maybe for some kind of torture?” you pondered as Steve barked out a laugh as you continue, “But she says the second half is good. Plus, who doesn’t love a shitty read once in a while?” You say with a bit more confidence, earning the even louder laugh from Steve like you were hoping for.

“Can’t argue with that, but now that I know your sister’s name, mind giving me yours?” He says with a small twitch in his lip. You feel your cheeks heat up again,

“Oh yeah! I’m (Y/N). (Y/N) (L/N) in case you were wondering” you stammered, cursing yourself right after. Jesus Christ, get it together. ‘In case you were wondering’? Are you kidding me?

Steve chuckles at your nervousness and puts out his hand to shake.

“Well in case you were wondering, I’m Steve Rogers,” he quips playfully. You shake his hand lightly, trying not to have him notice how clammy your hands were.

“Yeah I know, but it’s very nice to meet you, sir” you accidentally let slip the formality. His eyebrow quirked upwards,

“No need to call me sir, Y/n” he reassures. You laugh,

“Sorry, I’m an agent at S.H.E.I.L.D, so I was guessing that you were probably my boss or something,” you rambled.

“I’m pretty sure I’m not, maybe coworkers is a better term.” He suggests and you nod with him. Don’t wanna have a crush on your boss, that would not end well. After a moment of silence you sigh.

“Well, thank you, for saving my book,”

“No problem, just make you sure you tell me about that second half, have to know if it’s as good as (S/n) says it is,” he says, slowly walking backwards to start resuming his run. You heart fluttered in your chest at his words.

“I’ll see you around, coworker,” you tease, wrapping the book into your arms, pressed against your chest with a smile on your face. Steve gives you the most beautiful smile as he breaks into a jog,

“Nice meeting you, coworker,” he grins, fully turning to run down the length of the pool.

#steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #steve Rogers #captain america x reader #captain america #bucky barnes #mcu #mcu fanfiction #captain America winter soldier #marvel x reader #marvel #black widow #natasha romanoff

[exosmutfactory]

Six Phases 006 Pt 2

Originally posted by exo-stentialism

Who knew it nearly took 6 months to win your heart, and 6 phases for Baekhyun to lose his mind.

A/N: sorry not sorry 😇🚗💨🔥

[ contains: romance, fluff, angst, & smut ]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 P(1)  P(2)✓ ----- P(3)   P(4) 

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Somehow, waking up early on Saturday mornings had become a routine since that weekend. Between the plague-like thoughts that disrupted my sleep and how Baekhyun cutely requested for breakfast the next morning, I dragged my tired body out of bed and quickly whipped up some bacon with scrambled eggs. He insisted that my cooking was the best before the flavor even settled fully onto his tongue, counteracting my every protest with flustering compliments. I recall accidentally telling him he was full of shit—it was only a simple meal, after all. What is that compared to the hundreds of fancy restaurants he has dined in?

"Your food tastes like home," He argued between pacifying whines, back-hugging me in a way that always weakens my defenses. I begrudgingly agreed after convincing him to have turkey bacon from time to time. Pork has its place, and I preferably don't enjoy the breakfast variety all too often.

It's ridiculous what lengths I would go for this infuriatingly attractive man. If my weekend to-do list full of breakfast, groceries, and laundry is anything to go by, I wouldn't oppose being considered as "whipped" for him. It is what it is, man.

Every Saturday I am up and running by the time the sunlight breaks over the horizon. Regardless of how late I end up sleeping the night before, my eyes automatically open between the hours of 6 and 7; ready to climb out of bed as quietly as possible. Thankfully Baekhyun is a heavy sleeper who is content with hugging my pillow to his chest while I sneak off to the kitchen.

The aches in my body become very apparent the moment my foot touches the carpeted floor of our bedroom, a familiar feeling—welcomed almost, though I'd never tell Baekhyun that. His ego when it comes to things like this is big enough as it is.

Suppressing a shiver at the wintry morning air, I reach for his discarded shirt from the night before, tsking quietly at the two buttons missing from the top of the material. I swear he's the most annoyingly endearing man I've ever met. There's no other explanation for why I'm already planning what time to sew the buttons back on, carefully picking them up from the floor and leaving them on top of our shared dresser.

Luckily the remaining buttons are enough to shield my shoulders from the cold of the large apartment; the bottom of the shirt brushing against the back of my thighs as I make my way out into the hallway, gently closing the door behind me. In times like these I am grateful for Baekhyun's habit of leaving his house-slippers right outside of our bedroom. I rarely use mine despite his constant chastising. Some things in life are better bare.

Slipping into the slippers with ease, a smile tugs at my lips while shuffling quietly down the hallway. I usually keep breakfast simple: scrambled eggs, a few strips of bacon—maybe a pancake or two on a particularly good morning. Today, however, I'm in the mood for something more. Omelets, cinnamon buns, and the little sausages Baekhyun has adored lately.

Checking on the buns in the small conventional oven on the counter, I whisk away at the raw eggs that will make up Baekhyun's omelet, smoothing out the yolk entirely. A light breeze and soft kiss pressed to my shoulder break me out of my concentration. I could recognize those pouty lips anywhere.

"You're up early," I murmur, leaning back against his chest. Tilting my head up, I smile at his cute sleepy expression.

"Mmm," He manages to capture my lips in an upside-down kiss that melts me to my very core, his warm fingers seeping through the fabric of my borrowed shirt. "What are you up to?"

"Breakfast," I breathe, cheeks warming as he pulls away, quickly checking on the sizzling frying pan in front of me before he can catch me admiring his bare torso. "I got the sausages you like, Bae."

"Bae?"

The top of my head nearly slams into the bottom of the cabinets as I freeze in my tracks, frying pan clutched in hand. Shit, did I say that out loud? My face might as well be 50 shades of red. "I—I mean-"

Baekhyun plants a kiss on my head that throws my every thought out the window. "I love you." He hums, hugging me warmly before walking to the dining table. The view of his bare back as he runs a hand through his sleep-tousled hair is way too captivating for six-thirty in the damn morning.

I put my attention back on the pan, hurriedly removing it from the burner to slide the sausages onto a tray. 30 more seconds and I would have burned the damn things had I not shaken myself back into focus. "Jenny and the gang are coming over today."

"Today?"

I raise a brow at his tone. The high-pitched inquiry of his voice at the mention of his friends is a little suspect. Who was the genius that bragged so much about my BBQ short ribs everyone ended up inviting themselves over to our apartment? Shouldn't he remember our plans for tonight?

"Yes?" I drag out, tilting my head, looking at him skeptically with a hand on my hip, raising my spatula. "Did you forget?"

His silent form sitting rigidly at the table is enough of an answer. "N-" I raise my other brow. "Erm—M-Maybe?"

"Uh-huh." If he wasn't so adorable after just waking up with his lips tutted in a confused pout, I would give him hell. "I bought groceries yesterday, so we're only missing the wine-"

"I'm on it." Baekhyun perks up in his chair as if douched in cold water, pulling his phone out of nowhere. "Hyerin," He murmurs groggily, fumbling clumsily for a couple of seconds and slapping it to his ear in his hurry. "I need a bottle of Dom Perignon by 6:30. Thank you." The call is over in the span of 10 seconds. He sets the device next to his glass of orange juice on the table, busying himself with gulping down half of its contents. It takes a while for him to notice my bewildered gaze. "What?" He mumbles; orange pulp on his pouty lips.

I narrow my eyes, lowering the grease-covered frying pan back to the stove. "Who was that?" And how the fuck you just ordering Dom Perignon as if it doesn't cost my entire education expenses? If you just bought the $50k edition, I swear, Byun Baekhyun—"My new secretary." He yawns, stretching his arms above his head with a soft, content smile. "Come here." He mumbles, opening them towards me, his sleepy brown orbs fluttering sluggishly. "I miss you."

For a moment I just stare at him. "I'm right here..." I mutter softly, growing more aware of his current state by the minute. Those dark circles are committing the worst crime by being on his precious face. Carefully sliding his omelet onto a plate followed by a few pieces of sausage, I can't help laughing a little to myself at the comparison of our meals. His omelet managed to come out better than the one I made for me, perfectly solid compared to my result of scrambled eggs. No matter what, he gets the very best from me—I'm taking the biggest cinnamon bun though. That delicious treat has my name written all over it, it's mine for the taking. Besides, I can risk a sugar-crash unlike Mr. 12 hour shifts over there. Noting his drowsy form nodding off at the table, I quickly reach over to start the coffeemaker.

The smile that lights up his face as I present his food to him makes up for the few seconds I burnt my hand earlier, trying my best not to burn our whole apartment down. Note to self: never daydream about eventful Friday nights while leaning over a hot stove. Had I been slower to react, I'd be nursing my hand back to health with a frazzled boyfriend refusing to let me so much as brush my teeth on my own—it gets overwhelming after the first day, trust me.

Settling down on his lap under the persuasive encouragements falling from his irresistible lips, I hold up a piece of sausage to shush his drowsy mumblings. As cute as he is, he needs his morning protein before he can wake up and function properly. Especially after working 60 hours two weeks in a row. I respect his enthusiasm as a semi-workaholic myself, but damn am I worried. What kind of crazily time-consuming clothing line is going on in his beautiful head this time?

Baekhyun finishes his juice while I pick at my food, lazily twirling his hair between my fingers. Some days I ask myself why I’m still here, why I still try, why I continue on in this relationship that has more blurred lines than direct answers about our future. To tell the truth... I never expected to fall in love again. I never saw this coming—never saw him coming, when my sole way of survival has been spotting things from miles away. How did it come to this? How the hell did this man sneak past all my defenses so easily?

Maybe it was the smile he shot my way the first time we met or the way we had danced that Friday night, his body seeming to match so perfectly with mine. His comforting presence and sweet, brown eyes that hold all the stars in the universe. The countless late nights he has spent looking after me when I caught the flu from a combination of lack of sleep, stress, and poor life choices. He's always been there—always been here with me, but why… Why isn’t it enough? What is missing? How can I strip this weight off my chest that suffocates me more by the day?

"Baby?" Baekhyun's warm voice caresses my ear, comforting arms tightening around me.

"What if it happens again?" Jenny's worried face flashes vividly in my mind.

The memories come pouring in, making my mouth go dry as a lump forms in my throat. It takes everything in me to drag my eyes up to meet Baekhyun's inquiring orbs, plastering on another smile. The gesture is easier to manage with every sweet kiss his soft pillows plant on my lips. His heart-fluttering touch distracts my hyperactive mind for a while.

"Damn, Riley." Chanyeol practically moans, the sampling spoon I had offered him left to dangle pre-cautiously between his fingers. "Had I known you could cook like this, I would have come soon—ah!"

"Yah," Baekhyun scowls as I take the last serving plate from the counter to the table with a bashful smile, passing the tall man clutching the back of his head. "That's my girlfriend you're talking about." He mutters, lowering his hand, voice deepening in an unfairly attractive manner. "Watch your mouth."

"Geez." The giant huffs, glaring at him under the veil of his blonde hair. "You'd think you two were married with that—okay, okay!"

"When you two are done." The over-the-top chirp of my voice catches their attention; both their eyes widening like guilty little kids caught with their hands in a cookie jar. "Dinner is ready."

"Don't let me eat it all." Jongdae drawls, throwing an arm over the back of Jenny's chair, looking at them lazily, his brown eyes glinting mischievously. "Remember what happened last time."

Baekhyun and Chanyeol scramble for their seats as if their asses have been set on fire; an unusually quiet Jongin follows behind them, carrying a plate I forgot all about.

"Thank you." I gasp, quickly making room for the forgotten dish. "Set it down here, please."

Jongin nods, setting down the plate of cucumber salad next to the servings of Bulgogi. "I'm sorry Kyungsoo couldn't make it." He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. "Something came up at the restaurant."

"It's alright. Wanna pack a to-go plate for him?" Tilting my head, I smile in understanding at the sheepish expression on his face. "If you think he'd like my food, anyway," I joke, resting my arm on the back of my chair as I continue to face him, relieved at the familiar hint of playfulness restored in his eyes.

"Oh he's going to love it," Chanyeol insists with a pleased hum, yelping at the smack Jenny lands on his sneaky hand.

"Where are your manners, Park?" She sighs, shaking her head, fiery red curls bouncing with the motion.

"Save some for the rest of us, asshole." Jongdae grumbles, subtly eyeing the cucumber salad.

Everyone's plate already has a soft taco shell, warm from a few seconds in the microwave. The toppings are placed on top of the two tables Baekhyun and I had to push together to accommodate our guests: fresh Korean lettuce, sour cream, and other ingredients that Jenny helped me choose—especially that bowl of melted nacho-cheese Jongin keeps taking glances at.

We all look towards Baekhyun once he settles in his seat. He leans forward to reach the middle of the table, bypassing the regular bulgogi for the one drenched in a home-made sauce, spooning some on my taco shell with a chaste kiss to my cheek. "Eat up, everyone," He murmurs sweetly, tired brown eyes twinkling.

Jongdae doesn't even fake-gag with Chanyeol and Jongin, he goes straight for the cucumber salad. The fresh smell wafts in the air amongst the various meat and spices, making Baekhyun's nose crinkle adorably. I carefully brush his freshly dyed hair out of his eyes, chuckling at the pout he shoots my way. "Did you really have to make cucumber salad, baby? Cucumber?"

"One man's trash is another man's treasure, Byun," Jongdae mutters, forgoing his personal bowl to grab the whole serving. No one says a word, we just share knowing smiles. And once Chanyeol pops the cork of the expensive Dom Perignon, the real party begins.

Endless tales of embarrassing high school cafeteria incidents spill forth from Jongdae's mouth as if shame has gone out of style. The details he shares at the expense of Chanyeol's seemingly innocent public image flying out the window right along with it.

"One second this guy looked like he was taking the biggest shit of his life, and the next thing I know, Lee Naeun from 5th period Physics is crawling out from under the table, wiping spulge from her lips. Like, Chanyeol, what the actual fuck bro? Couldn't you have taken your business to the 3rd floor Janitor's closet? I think I still have the key..."

If it wasn't for Baekhyun's quick hands, I would've sprayed a mouthful of wine across the entire table.

Unfortunately, Jongin had to head out right after dinner, promising to meet up again soon before hurrying to Kyungsoo's house, two plates clutched in hand. Chanyeol decided to stick around for longer to "let his two glasses of wine wear off"—this man has the metabolism of a beast, we know why he's really here. His reason is comfortably seated next to Jenny on our striped couch, sock-clad feet propped up on the coffee table.

"Dinner was nice," Jenny smiles, sipping leisurely at her water.

"More than nice." Chanyeol boosts from our leather recliner, raising his glass, tipping his head at me. "Your food damn near tops Kyungsoo's," He pauses, brown eyes widening. "Don't tell him I said that."

"No worries," I laugh softly, hiding in the safety of Baekhyun's shoulder. He shifts towards me, finishing his wine and setting the empty glass on the coffee table before wrapping an arm around my waist, brushing his lips against my forehead in a way that leaves my heart shaking. The white loveseat we're sitting on sinks further under our joined weight, and really, there's no place I'd rather be—except our king sized bed, that is. Baekhyun's firm grip on my bare thigh isn't helping my tipsy trance in the slightest. The universe knows I'd rather be getting drunk off of him right now.

"I'm going for a smoke," Jongdae mutters, rising from the couch. He leans down to Jenny for a kiss that leaves her beaming, going to retrieve his trench coat and shoes before slipping out of the door.

Good to see them doing well; I blink in surprise, smiling teasingly her way. I'm happy for her! It really is a pleasant surprise to see Jongdae stating their relationship in such a way; an immense improvement from their past encounters of Jenny nervously seeking affection and Jongdae down-right dodging it like his life depends on it. Public displays of affection are a sweet, straightforward way to say, "hey, this person means a lot to me," or, "back off, they're mine." Which personally sets me on romantic fire. Even if it's just holding hands, it can put me in high spirits—doing it with a certain, cheeky silver-haired man is just a bonus.

Jenny winks, fanning her cheeks that match the rosy shade of her hair before tuning in to Chanyeol's loud chatter.

Soft laughter rumbles in Baekhyun's chest as he engages in the conversation. His warm palm securely holds my hand when I slip my cold palm into his warm one. He presses a kiss to the back of it, pulling a silent giggle from my lips as he smiles at me with an arched brow, squeezing our intertwined fingers.

"Riley?"

I drag my eyes up to Jenny who's loosening her red curls by running her fingers through them. "Yeah?"

"Jongdae's not answering his cell," She murmurs with a worried frown. "Can you go check on him, please?"

And why can't you do it? — Or come with me for that matter? I raise a brow, getting up from the chair and Baekhyun's warmth with a silent sigh. "Okay. I'll be back." If I get kidnapped or spooked by some random asshole, she'll never hear the end of it. I really should ask Baekhyun to teach me a thing or two about hakipdo though.

Jenny beams, a peculiar twinkle in her eye, clasping my hand between hers. "Thank you!"

Uh-huh... I try not to eye her too warily.

"Take my coat, baby," Baekhyun murmurs, kissing the side of my wrist. "It's cold out."

"O-Okay." I clear my throat, pointedly avoiding the smug smiles of the other two in the room while walking over to the coat hanger.

Slipping on his brown, cinnamon-scented coat brings a giddy smile to lips—one I'm quick to hide in the soft fabric.

I slide on my boots before making my way to the elevator, not up for taking the 4 levels of stairs this late at night. Thankfully, that nosy neighbor down the hall isn't meeting me at the elevator tonight on one of his various late-night escapades. I've had enough awkward encounters with his lovers to last me a lifetime.

The lobby is empty except for a lone security guard who waves my way, face lit up in familiarity. Smiling back, I step out the crystal-clean glass doors of the building into the quiet night, quickly finding the man I'm looking for standing at the edge of the sidewalk. "Jongdae."

"Huh?" He looks over his shoulder, turning halfway at the sight of me, pulling a joint from his lips.

"You alright?" I pull Baekhyun's coat tighter around me, resisting the urge to shiver in the icy wind. "Jenny was looking for you."

"Looking for-" He chuckles, brown hair ruffling as he throws his head back in laughter. "Girl, please. I was instructed to come down here 5 minutes ago." He continues, inhaling deeply from the stick between his fingertips. "She ain't looking for me, she's looking for a way for them to chat privately and to make us talk..." He sighs, looking over at me. "I'm not exactly the best company for deep shit."

"O-kay then," I mumble, more than a little peeved, ready to turn on my heel in any direction other than stay here.

"Let's talk." He shrugs, exhaling smoke into the frosty air. I shoot him a wary look, barely taking a step in his direction. "I said let's talk, not have a screaming match." He mutters, rolling his eyes into the back of his head. "Why you all the way over there?" He follows my gaze to the stick between his fingers. "What? This?" He scoffs, smirking. "It's a joint, worst thing you'll get is the munchies."

Crinkling my nose, I take a couple more steps closer anyway, standing beside him, keeping a respectful distance between us.

"Listen." He sighs, taking another drag. "I know I've done some things that… I didn't necessarily have to do." He glances at me for a moment, and then faces the street lights. "Bros before hoes, you know?"

Yeah, I inwardly roll my eyes, focusing on a lonely snowflake evaporating before it reaches the ground. There's a lot to be said over people doing things that they didn't necessarily have to do. If I had a dime for every sleepless night I've had because of Jongdae's shameless mouth, I wouldn't be paying off my student loans anymore.

"Look." Jongdae takes one last drag, crushing the joint under his worn-out winter boots. "The way he is now is much better than the Baekhyun we knew back then." He nods a little to himself, meeting my gaze. "Still can't see why he decided to change his ways for you...but oh well." He mutters, lips quirking into a playful smirk at my small smile before facing the city lights again. Festival lamp-shaped snowflakes attached to the top of every streetlight beam against the dim backdrop of empty downtown buildings, prepared for the coming holidays. "You're alright for a best friend stealer."

A laugh escapes before I can slap my hands over my mouth, meeting his eye nervously only for us to both end up laughing; our amusement echoing loudly through the quiet night.

"Riley?" Jenny's confused voice peeps up, red curls rebelling against the hood of her fluffy white coat.

"Over here!" I cup my hand around my mouth, waving to get her attention.

She turns towards us, rounding the corner with quick strides. "There you are! I thought you got grabbed or something." She fusses, resting a hand on my arm, leaning closer to whisper in my ear, "Especially you. Baekhyun was two seconds from hunting you down with my head on his mantle."

"Jenny!" I snort, accepting her tight hug, my voice muffled in her puffy coat. "It kinda would be your fault though."

"I know!" She exclaims, viewing me from an arm's length away. "I was sweating out my hair."

"Baby?" That unmistakable honey voice calls. A head of fluffy silver locks and brown eyes peek around the building, catching light in the streetlights.

"Here, B," I soothe, chuckling as he speeds over to us, gathering me in his arms without hesitation.

"I thought I lost you," He mutters, hiding in my hair.

"She was gone for ten minutes," Jongdae deadpans.

"Ten minutes too long!" He pulls back to glare over at the brunet, hugging me to his chest with cheeks too rosy to be merely from a few moments out in the cold.

"Just how much of that wine did you drink?.." I narrow my eyes, cupping his flushed cheeks.

"Good thing you only bought one bottle," Jenny laughs nervously, slowly gravitating to shelter behind Jongdae's taller form.

"Enough to miss you." Baekhyun's breath leaves goosebumps on my chilled skin, his soft lips brushing my ear.

"Al-right, time to go before the lovebirds start mating." Jongdae grumbles, wrapping an arm around Jenny's beaming form. Their matching smirks have me scurrying to direct my tipsy boyfriend back towards our apartment.

"Uh—okay! See you guys next time!" I laugh to mask my burning face, gently pushing Baekhyun into the building.

"Goodnight! Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Jenny sing-songs, the smugness clear in her tone.

"Can't make any promises!" Baekhyun proclaims over his shoulder, much to my embarrassment. Thankfully he quiets down once we reach the elevator, but based on the wide eyed security guard, the damage has already been done.

Can the frozen ground just please open up and swallow me whole?

The view of this busy street differs from all the other times I've walked down it with Baekhyun by my side. Maybe because it's been almost 2 years since I've moved to this city, or that new boutique being set up at the end of the road. Whatever the case, the air is different—crisper, cleaner. Refreshing as I briskly walk to my destination, wanting to avoid being out in the cold as much as possible. The weather here is so much colder in the middle of December compared to how flowers were still budding around this time outside of my childhood home.

Humming a song that's been stuck in my head for days with my car keys spinning around my finger, I stroll into Privé Alliance's building, admiring the latest clothing line pictures hung up along the walls and waving to the new receptionist while making my way to the elevator. Many men and women in business attire are all over the place as per usual during the busiest months of the year. However, once I make it out of the crowd of chattering employees, the sight of a familiar face waiting in front of the elevator brings a smile to my face. "Kyungsoo!"

The short-haired man turns around. "Hello, Riley." He nods with a small smile as we step inside the open doors, pressing the buttons to the 5th and top floor. "Lunch date?"

"Hmm?.." Blinking a few times, I follow his gaze to the picnic basket clutched in my hand. "Oh! Yes." I chuckle, smoothing down my hair. "Sorry." Between nearly slipping on a patch of ice on the way over here and the pretty lights decorated all over the city, I've forgotten the reason I left our fridge in a disarray this morning. Who decided to store the sandwich meats at the back of the refrigerator? I know Baekhyun loves my home cooking, but damn, man, let me have a break too.

"It's alright." Kyungsoo chuckles, arching a brow. "Hopefully you can get him to relax."

"Relax? Coming from you!?" I gasp sarcastically, covering my mouth with wide eyes.

"Only because he's seconds away from firing half the 3rd floor." He mutters with a roll of his eyes, yet an apologetic smile forms on his face. "Sorry I couldn't make it to the gathering." He clears his throat while facing forward again, straightening his suit.

"It's alright," I smile, resisting the urge to chuckle at his flustered state, checking my outfit in the elevator's reflection. It may be a chilling 40 degrees—4 in celsius—but I can spare the warmth of my legs for a 2 minute walk from Privé's parking lot. No weather can tell me what I can and can't wear. If I want to rock a pencil skirt on the coldest day of the week, so be it! Plus, these two-inch heels couldn't be left behind. I can't show up at Baekhyun's workplace with the poor fashion choices I subject him to at home, so we're going, coolness over comfort.

"Life happens," I mumble, tucking rebellious locks of hair behind my ear. "I'm just glad you're doing okay." The smile that forms on his heart-shaped lips when I take a glance at him makes me beam back.

"I'll stop by sometime this week." He hums, black dress shoes tapping on the floor. "I just finished a new recipe."

"Recipe?" I blink, mildly intrigued, mentally running over the list of food I'm carrying for the 3rd time today.

"Fried ice cream cake," He smirks, nonchalantly checking his watch.

"Fried-" My jaw damn near drops to the floor. Fried? Fried!? The one ice cream Baekhyun banned me from attempting myself after burning my hand while frying fish a few days ago?! Which Baekhyun is half to blame, by the way—never sneak up on someone over a popping frying pan. It never ends well. Besides that, it also was the day I truly realized the stamina that man possesses. I have never seen someone react so quickly to shove my hand under ice-cold water in my life.

Searching for any cameras in the elevator, I step a little closer to the short-haired man, whispering discreetly behind my hand, "W-Will you bring me some?"

"The prettiest one," He promises, softly patting my shoulder, chuckling at the star-struck expression written all over my face. "This is me, I'm afraid."

"Huh?" I blink into focus, shocked to be on the 5th floor so soon. What the heck. What is it about elevator rides with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo that make them go by lightning-fast compared to the stifling, tension-filled ones with Jongdae? If you can read a room, it truly makes a difference. "Oh, don't let me keep you." I give a little wave, balancing the picnic basket on my forearm. "See you later!"

Kyungsoo nods, smiling with a wave of his own as the double doors close. It is at that moment that I freeze, recalling how Baekhyun mentioned he hired a new secretary a few weeks back. Well... shit—how do I explain why I'm arriving at his floor unannounced on a random Tuesday afternoon?

Do his employees even know we are dating?.. A small part of me doubts it. Why do I care? Oh, right—I fucking live with him!

By some miracle, no one is occupying the neatly arranged desk when the elevator opens on the top floor, saving me from the completely rushed explanation I have no idea how to even put into words. All that lies before me is an undisturbed walk to Baekhyun's office, the intimidating black door slightly ajar. I slip off my heels, rushing out of the elevator on sock-clad feet before the doors close. Baekhyun's businessman voice filters through the quiet air. He must be on the phone.

Shuffling as quietly as possible down the hallway, I peek into his office. My eyes quickly find his broad form leaning a hip against his executive desk, a phone pressed to his ear as he faces the floor-to-ceiling windows showcasing the heart of Seoul. Impeccably dressed in a wrinkle-free, white dress shirt with his sleeves rolled up. His black blazer thrown over the back of his chair. Like always, the splashes of color in every corner of the room have my lips curling up, but I have to muffle a small giggle at the sight of a thin pink measuring tape hanging around his neck.

I slowly inch closer, discarding my coat and setting down the basket in one of the leather chairs. Smoothing my flower-patterned, white button-down shirt, I silently approach him, gently covering his eyes once he ends the call. "Guess who~"

Baekhyun stiffens for a moment before swiftly turning around, wrapping his arms around me and lifting me up, setting me down on his desk. He cups my cheeks in his warm palms, crashing his lips to mine before I can make a sound. "Thank god, it's you." He breathes, warm fingers sliding into my hair.

"W-Well—hello to you too." I barely manage to get out between his feverous kisses, making a noise in surprise when he pulls me flush to his chest. "What is it?" I ask softly, noticing the bothered look on his face; carefully running my fingers through his styled hair as he hides in my neck. "Another long day?"

"You have no idea." He sighs, looking up at me. "I was 2 seconds away from losing it."

"Don't-" I pause, thinking about it. A few memories of last week flash through my mind. "Well, you are kind of hot when you're angry..." In the proper context.

Baekhyun perks up, exhausted brown eyes regaining their sparkle. "Really?"

I hum to appease his hopeful expression, yelping when he pulls me into his arms, not expecting to be carried up from the desk so suddenly.

"Come here," He murmurs, walking around to sit in his chair, setting me on his lap. "I need strength to get through these reports."

Gently playing with his hair to calm down my racing heart, I tilt my head, "Do you have time for a lunch break?"

Baekhyun hums distractedly, kissing my forehead, holding me closer to his firm chest. "We can order in a little later."

Kyungsoo's words come back to mind while I watch Baekhyun continue to click around his computer, brown eyes squinted and brows furrowing more by the minute. I inwardly cringe at the move I'm about to pull, but… Our sandwiches' lifespan is ticking away. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

"But…" I pout, resting my hands flat on his chest, widening my eyes for effect as his focused orbs shift to meet mine. "But I made it."

"Let's eat now then," Baekhyun smiles, his steady gaze flickering all over my person. I swear I just witnessed his pupils dilating right before my very eyes. "Give me 5 minutes."

My lips quirk up, "One-"

"I'll set a timer." He laughs, shaking his head, reaching for his phone between his bright screen laptop and desktop PC.

Smiling in victory, I stretch across the desk to retrieve the basket, peeking at his computer accidentally. "Holy shit, is that Melody Hudson?" I straighten up, focusing on the magazine cover opened up on a famous website. "The model?" My eyes widen in awe of her tall blonde form modeling a stunning royal blue summer dress; the color bringing out the blue in her shining eyes. I place the basket on a clear spot on Baekhyun's crowded desk before rubbing his stiff shoulders. He must still be tense from work. "She's so pretty."

Baekhyun hums, placing a hand on my cheek. His gentle caress coaxes my eyes back to his. "But you're beautiful," He whispers, resting his forehead on mine, brushing a thumb over my lips.

There's nowhere to hide the red hue that springs onto my face, making him chuckle as I quickly turn back to start taking out our food.

"Would you like to accompany me to a photoshoot?" The tentative tone of his voice has me raising a brow.

"Sure!" Handing him his sandwich, I press a kiss to his cheek, carefully unwrapping my homemade fries. "I'd love to see you work behind the scenes."

"Actually..."

I look at him, mid-bite of my toasted turkey sandwich.

"I'll be in the scenes," He drops, soft lips quirking a boyish grin.

My grip on my sandwich rips a hole in the middle while preventing it from falling out of my hands. "I…"—Behind the scenes witnessing Baekhyun modeling?? With his god-tier body and knee-weakening smirks that have me crumbling from beyond a screen alone? Hell to the mother fucking yes! "O-Okay."

Baekhyun's brown orbs twinkle knowingly, an amused smile forming on his lips as he presses them to mine. "Great."

It's impossible to mask my excitement while slipping into the passenger seat of Baekhyun's Audi. The beautiful red highlights around the black interior never fail to leave my jaw dropped in awe, fingertips tempted to graze over every surface. I'd like to think a person's dream car matches their owner, and there's no denying how devilishly divine my boyfriend looks settling into the driver's seat.

Baekhyun's simple, black button-down shirt and matching jeans have me inwardly salivating—I don't even have the slightest clue of why he's going to a photoshoot today. Privé? A cover for a magazine? Possibilities are endless, but not just anyone can request an hour of his time during one of the busiest months of the year.

"Are you ready?" Baekhyun glances over at me, his unstyled hair tucked under a Privé corduroy camel baseball cap that I haven't quite seen before.

"Yes," I beam at him, tilting my head curiously. "Is that hat new? I don't think I've seen it before."

Baekhyun smirks, brown eyes glinting mischievously as he straps on his seatbelt. "Maybe." He rests a hand on the steering wheel and the other on my thigh, backing out of his designated parking space. "Hold on tight, baby. You're in for a long ride."

I blink, having no clue what kind of ride he means. When it comes to Baekhyun, you never know what you're getting yourself into, but you never really have to worry about it either. If I hadn't known him for a few years, I would have bugged him to tell me where we're going for the entire ride. But with a few years under our belt—and some long months spent sharing a close-knitted home—I can comfortably sit back and relax for the whole journey, because there is no Baekhyun without one.

•••

The parking lot outside of the building is relatively calm, with only a few staff members bringing in materials from their cars. Inside of the place, however, is a complete madhouse. Everyone is speed-walking to various rooms and popping up from behind every corner. Not a drop of silence in the heavily populated area.

"There's our man of the hour!" A tall, aged man steps forward to shake Baekhyun's hand, carefully cradling a camera strapped around his neck. "So glad you could make it. I hope we are not taking up too much of your time?" He inquires, pushing glasses further up his nose, glancing over at me.

"Oh no, of course not!" Baekhyun shakes his head, shifting closer to wrap an arm around my waist. "I invited my girlfriend to accompany me today." He clears his throat, reddening cheeks caught under the harsh spotlights. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all," The man reassures, gesturing towards a staff member who quickly brings over a grey single-seat sofa. "The more the merrier. Here you go, Madam. Is the chair to your liking?"

"Yes, thank you," I smile, trying not to stutter, brushing my fingertips over Baekhyun's warm palm before taking a seat. He shoots me a little bashful grin as the photographer whisks him away, a team of stylists directing him to a chair on the opposite side of the room. It's amusing to see so many people fussing over his hair, pulling out hairspray, and presenting him with simple yet sexy articles of clothing.

A few other models are walking around in the same attire, giving off a cool vibe of the newest clothing line, but when Baekhyun steps out of a dressing room…

Holy shit.

No, seriously holy shit!

Baekhyun walks into the room, standing against a wall as stylists comb his hair over to the left side of his face, using sprites of hairspray to tuck the right side behind his ear. As if he doesn't look dangerous enough adorning a leather jacket, a black shirt with white scribbles I can barely make out from this distance, and camel pants with unique, black low-platinum shoes.

The staff directs him over to the area with a gray backdrop, lights and cameras focused all over the place. Baekhyun practically glides over there, oozing with that stunning Ceo confidence. At a closer look, I can make out the pretty image of open and outstretched hands in the white lines at the bottom of his shirt. The intriguing detail has my full attention until I feel a persistent stare.

I lift my eyes higher to meet Baekhyun's dark brown orbs—from me sitting in the back of the room or getting into character; I have no idea. Suddenly my red knitted sweater is a bit too warm despite not being in front of any bright lights. Just when I think it can't get any worse, the photographer announces that it's time to begin.

If I had known what I agreed to the other day, I would have been more prepared—or so I'd like to think. I mean, how does one prepare their feelings for watching their unfairly attractive, multi-millionaire boyfriend pose for the camera as if moments away from sweeping them off of their feet!? And not in a sweet way either. Nah, ain't nothing innocent about the lethal expression swirling within his dark brown orbs. Especially while they are pointed right at me.

The hairstyle they gave him just makes my situation worse. How am I supposed to sit still with this man gazing so intensely into the "camera"? Is this really the same drowsy Baekhyun who I have to wake up every Sunday morning? Where did his tiredness go? There ain't nothing exhausted about the way he is staring at me! And when they bring out a chair for him to sit on… No. Hell no. That's it.

Draping my sweater over the back of my chair has his covered lips curling up at the corners, I just fucking know it.

After a few more camera flashes, the stylists are back with a new outfit in tow, gesturing for Baekhyun to change. However, right as he is turning down the short hallway leading to the dressing room, someone comes rushing into the building.

"I'm so sorry I'm late!" A petite woman with a French accent flies into the hall. "Traffic was-" She skids to a halt, staring at Baekhyun as if she's seen a ghost, her brown wavy hair mid-loop of making a bun. For a long moment, nobody says a word, and then she's on the move, crossing the short distance within two furious strides.

Her slap echoes across the tall walls.

"To think I waited for you." She grits out between heated spews of French. Her gray eyes brimmed with tears shoot daggers into Baekhyun's wide-eyed ones. "To think I held onto the fact that maybe you actually cared." Her whole body shakes as staff members rush over to restrain her, calling her name over her loud obscenities in an attempt to calm her down, trying to pull her away from him before she can jump him. It takes three men to drag her back out of the building. A woman from the small crowd quickly follows, dropping a blue clipboard in her haste. We hear her panicked voice a split second before the door slams shut behind them.

I don't know when or how it happens, but I'm already on the other side of the room, reaching out for a stunned Baekhyun being fussed over by stylists. "Baekhyun?" My eyes flicker all over his shock-stricken face once they move out of the way for me. A lump forms in my throat at the look in his eyes. "B," I tentatively place my hand over his frozen one on his cheek, the red handprint visible between his fingers. "Baekhyun!"

He flinches, shaky pupils focusing on me. "Y-Yes?"

"Are you okay?" Emotions grip at my throat, making it hard to speak while my eyes keep shifting between his alarmed ones and his steadily bruising cheek. I take the ice pack a staff member hands over without a word, gently brushing his hand away to hold it to his face. "Come here."

Baekhyun silently follows me to the dressing room, seemingly in a daze as stylists vacate the room, closing the door on their way out. I lead him over to a swivel chair in front of a white vanity table, letting him settle before speaking. "What was that?"

"What was what?" He mumbles, breaking my heart at the sight of him pressing ice to his swelling cheek.

"You know what I'm talking about." Crossing my arms, I continue staring him down. "Who was that woman, Baekhyun? Why did she hit you?"

"I'll tell you later, baby." He avoids my eye and his reflection in the mirror, getting up from the chair. "Let's wrap this photoshoot up, hmm? Then we'll go home-"

Stumbling to reach the door before he does, I block his escape, looking into his conflicted eyes. "I'm not letting you leave this room until you answer me."

His lips twitch, "Baby-"

I cross my arms despite my racing heart, my stomach twisting in an ignored warning. "I need answers-"

"For fuck's sake, Riley!" He thunders, startling me so much I slam the back of my head on the doorframe. "Out of my fucking way."

I step aside without another word, turning my head away as he storms out of the room. The slamming door left in his wake has my heart jumping into my throat. Anxiety grips at my chest like a vice, making it hard to breathe. I latch onto a Privé clothing rack, holding onto it for stability.

Baekhyun's tone on the other side of the door is much calmer while talking to one of the staff. I wait for a few minutes, resting against the clothing rack until his voice drifts away; the loud taps of his shoes fading into the distance. No matter how far away he is—most likely continuing on with the photoshoot by the faint clicks of a camera echoing around the quiet building—I don't… I can't; I won't go back out there to watch him. No, not after that. I'm sure everyone in the vicinity heard what just happened.

Slipping out of the room, I gasp when I bump into someone else, my heart beating so hard it hurts to breathe. Could this day get any worse? Seriously? "I'm so sorry."

"You're fine," The same staff member I heard minutes ago with Baekhyun shakes her head, smiling in sympathy. "Tough morning, huh?"

I can only manage a deep exhale, nodding, "I guess you could say that, u-um—" I'm losing the battle against the sting steadily building behind my eyes. "Do you know where the bathroom is by any chance?"

"Just around the corner," She nods, pointing farther down the hallway. "First door on your left."

"Thank you," I breathe, hurrying down the hall. Before I can pass by her, however, I notice her angrily marking out a name with a black sharpie from the same blue clipboard that clattered to the floor earlier.

Nicole. The woman they dragged out earlier…

With tears finally breaking free from my sore eyes, I couldn't have reached the bathroom fast enough.

To my relief, the room is empty. Nothing but painfully bright lights and the porcelain floors to witness my current state. I walk up to the sinks with a shaky sigh, splattering cold water on my face. My reflection isn't a pretty sight to behold when I look into the mirror, bracing my hands on the countertop as I take in the streaks of mascara running down my face. The one day I decide to wear a non-fool-proof kind and this is what I get?

Sighing, I turn to lean my back against the counter, crossing my arms. The photoshoot is back in full swing with all the compliments the photographer is showering Baekhyun in. It's pretty pathetic of me to hide out in this ice-cold bathroom, but I rather shiver for a few minutes than face him right now. Something about the way he reacted earlier... To that woman, to me—doesn't feel right. Maybe I pushed him too far? I just… Do I not have the right to know who just slapped the hell out of my boyfriend? Hell yeah, I'll admit I want to know who she is because he's mine and she was acting as if she was waiting forever for him to recuperate her feelings, but it's not just about that. No—Nah. The deer in headlights expression on his face as her hand collided with his cheek will not leave my mind.

Whatever it is, whatever just transpired in front of me; something is off and I rather be out the line of fire while trying to figure it out.

"To think I waited for you" For what? For when? With the way things are going, I might never know the answer.

The lack of chatter filtering through the echoing walls of the room catches my attention. I tentatively peek out of the bathroom, stepping back into the hallway at the uncharacteristically quiet state of the building. Is the shoot over already? Pushing past my dimly lit surroundings, I head back to the dressing room, hesitantly standing in the open doorway. I'm confused to not find Baekhyun there, or in the main area when I poke my head over the edge of the short hallway.

"Excuse me?" I approach the nearest stylist, moving out the way of another one clumsily carrying out articles of clothing. "Have you seen Baekhyun?"

She shakes her head with a pop of her minty gum, giving me a solemn look. "Last I saw of him, he was on his way to the men's room on the other side of the building."

"Ah..." Dread fills my stomach, and something tells me that I rather not find out why. "Thank you," I murmur in passing, quickly making my way back out of the room, speeding down to the opposite hallway. The possibility that I got left behind in an unfamiliar part of the city twists my stomach into knots until I round the corner. I stumble to a halt, sucking in a breath. My heart breaks at the sight—and then the rage kicks in.

Baekhyun's broad form in his partially unbuttoned black shirt braces himself against the wall, looming over a model. Her hand is in his hair and their lips interlocked in an intimate kiss. The sight has my blood boiling—nah, it's turning into fucking lava.

"Wow." I bark out a laugh, loud and hollow, positively seething as he jumps back from her as if burned. "If you were going to cheat, you could have at least had the decency to do it behind my back." The smirk that forms on my lips is the worst kind, the ugliest kind, the kind that has fear flickering in Baekhyun's wide brown eyes. "Or was this your intention all along?"

"R-Riley-" He stares like a deer in headlights, hurrying over to me, smearing her red lipstick over his lips in his haste to rub it off with the back of his hand. "Baby, please keep it down. I can explain-"

"Nah," I shake my head, looking at him in disdain. Just the sight of him right now has me heating up with anger. I'm seeing red as the model smirks at me from over his shoulder. That bitch. "This is explanation enough." I spin on my heel before I do something I won't regret in the slightest, just for his sake.

Baekhyun's dress shoes tapping frantically behind me as I storm back into the main hall.

"Riley, baby." His grip on my wrist throws me over the edge. "Please-"

"What were you doing, huh?" A snarl forms on my face as I whirl back around, meeting his pleading eyes. "Gonna show her your failed attempts at lasting for longer than a minute?"

Everyone in the room pauses. The photographer almost drops his prized camera.

Baekhyun's face grows progressively red, and if it wasn't for the rage burning in my own veins, I'd be concerned about the vibrant hue going up to his ears right now. Just like his mishap a few days ago that would normally be insignificant, it was his grave mistake. The key that I used to fuel the fire to the flame in the most torturous of ways... Have I hit a nerve, Hyunnie?

His grip tightens on my wrist. "We," He barely gets out in an angered growl of his own, "Are leav-"

"Get your filthy-" I hiss, snatching my wrist out of his grasp, "Paws off of me." I grab my sweater on my way out, exiting the building without looking back. The bite of the cold wintry air is a relief for my heated skin. "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"I drove." He says through clenched teeth, hot on my heels.

"And I'm walking." I bite back, walking past the car as he climbs into the driver's seat.

"Riley!" Baekhyun bellows, putting the Audi in gear and slowly following me out of the parking lot. "Get in the fucking car!"

I cross my arms, scoffing out a laugh. It doesn't matter where the hell I am, I'm not getting back in that car with him. Bringing me all the way out here just to pull that shit. He can kiss my ass. I knew I shouldn't have gotten in that car with him. If I had taken my own four-seat beauty that I left back at home, I'd be halfway on the way to Jenny's by now.

Baekhyun continues to follow behind me, honking obnoxiously, attracting unwanted attention from bystanders that whisper amongst themselves. Some of them pull out their phones. What a spectacle we would make for the front cover of magazines, endlessly entertainment for all their peering eyes. Pausing for a moment to weigh my options, I step towards the Audi with a sigh, climbing in without a word to the fuming man next to me.

Baekhyun drives on, clutching onto the steering wheel with both hands. His grip is so tight his knuckles turn white. I direct my gaze out of the passenger window, avoiding him at all costs within the confines of the car. The long ride home and walk up to our apartment does nothing to ease my rage. Anger continues to thump angrily in my veins as the past two hours replay in my mind.

Baekhyun unlocks the door and holds it open for me. I walk into the apartment with a scoff, moving to tug off my boots only for my back to meet the wall, the front door closing with a startling slam.

"What was that?" Baekhyun glares at me, fire burning bright in his brown orbs. He can't exactly tower over me, but by his mannerism, he doesn't need any extra height to get his point across.

"What was that?" I mumble, peeling off my shoes, ducking under his arm to cross the other side of the room. The longer I stay in these warm clothes, the more I die from the uncomfortable heat.

"No, what the actual fuck, Riley?" He shakes his head, long strands of silver hair dangling in his fury-filled eyes. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"Fine." I retort, rolling my eyes and looking at him, "Who was that woman then?"

His nostrils flare. "Really?" He bites out, laughing in disbelief. "Is that really important right now?"

I cross the room in three strides, tilting my chin up to stand nose to nose with him. "It is to me if you haven't fucking noticed."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." He scoffs, stepping back. A cruel smile curls on his lips. "What should I do? I haven't paid Riley enough attention." All traces of humor leave his features, his minty breath washing over my cheeks. Baekhyun leans in again, his voice lowering into an angered growl. "Maybe if you weren't wetting yourself over me all morning, you'd figure it out."

I grind my teeth. "Who. Was. She?"

"For fuck-" Baekhyun reels back, his brown eyes rolling so hard into the back of his head a flicker of worry sparks in my chest before those dark orbs land on me again. "An ex-fling," he grits out. "Why does it matter?"

My hands fall limply to my sides. "Why didn't you tell me she would be there?" I ask. My voice is much quieter while I search his eyes for answers.

"What?" He scoffs, raising a brow. "How was I supposed to know she would be there?"

"Her name was on the roster-"

"I-" He shakes his head, pulling harshly on his hair. "What? Do you expect me to know the names of the women I've slept with?" A smirk quirks at his pink lips, his brown eyes so dark that his pupils have vanished in their mahogany depths. "Do you think I've kept some journal? " He purrs, grinning in delight when I shuffle uncomfortably on my feet. "Are you really that insecure?"

I stiffen. A bolt of something sinister shoots down my spine. Did this fucker just—

"Me?" I point to myself with wide eyes, laughing incredulously. "Me?.... You know, that's real fucking rich coming from you." I sneer, roughly tugging off my annoying turtleneck. What was once a reliable piece of clothing ends up torn in my fit of rage. I fling it out of my sight. Baekhyun's words loop over and over in my head. Even though I don't show it—they cut me. Deep. On a touchy subject. In a part of me I thought had died 2 years ago. He damn well knows it hurts when it's mentioned in such a menacing manner, and he still did it. For what? His weak stamina in wake of his long hours at work is suddenly the equivalent to the root of my trust issues?

My fingers curl so tightly into a fist, I can feel my nails pierce the skin. "You're one to talk." It's easier this way; keeping my back turned to him so I can mask the tears brimming my eyes. Who does he think he is? Who is he, period? How is this the same adoring man that was pursuing me the summer we met?.... It takes all my effort not to bolt for the front door—not to let my nose run or tears to stream down my face. No. I won't cry over him again. I won't let him win. Not like this.

Firm in my resolve, I take a deep breath before turning to him again. "You're not so confident, Mr. Big Shot..." My words falter at the sight of him ripping his shirt open, black buttons clattering all over the floor. "What-"

Baekhyun has me backed against the wall before I can utter another word. "Did you enjoy yourself?" He demands, holding my chin between his thumb and index finger. He peers down into my eyes; the familiar look held in his dark orbs has me quivering on the inside—and it isn't from fear. "Hmm? Did you enjoy embarrassing me earlier? Did you have your fun?"

I quickly recover. "Not my fault you don't know how to keep it in your pants."

"You wish you were in my pants." He grits out, lips curling mockingly.

There are so many things I want to throw up in his handsome face right now. So many little secrets and observations I've made over the past year that would make him falter—make him kneel. But today...

Today.

I choose violence.

Tangling my fingers in his hair, I yank on his delicate locks without remorse, pulling him into a brutal kiss of tongue and teeth. Baekhyun grunts in surprise, pressing me harder against the wall. The harsh clash of our mouths only seems to egg him on. The stinging bite he leaves on my bottom lip is nearly enough to break the skin. I don't know how long we stand there; my hands in his hair and his palms sliding down my back. There's no telling where he ends or I begin until the lack of air sinks in. His breathless puffs for air erupt goosebumps on my skin.

"Are we really doing this?" He pants, pulling away to brush his hair back. His eyes are more familiar to me now, softened by his calmer state, intense from the lust felt in his every touch.

I pause my exploration of his firm chest, arching a brow at him with a mocking grin. "Think you can last longer than a minute this time?"

Baekhyun clenches his jaw and steps away. For a moment, I worry if I pushed him too far until his lips crash back to mine. "Jump," He mutters gruffly, his grip near bruising on my ass.

"And if I don't..." The look in his eyes as he drags his dark brown eyes up to mine shuts me up entirely.

Baekhyun slowly leans closer, brushing his lips against the shell of my ear. "I'll fuck you against the goddamn window." The serious expression on his face combined with the threat is damn near intimidating—and I hate how aroused it leaves me.

Baekhyun hoists me up and walks to our room with quick strides, relentlessly keeping his lips glued to mine. He pushes open the door before dropping me unceremoniously onto the mattress. His lips are back on mine before I can chastise him for the mini heart attack, his impatient hands tug at the rest of my clothes. I let him pull off my pants and hurriedly move to unclip my bra in the meantime before his rough actions can rip the expensive fabric.

Baekhyun freezes above me, brown eyes transfixed on my matching red lacy set. It may be winter, but that doesn't mean I can't dress up nicely underneath endless layers of flannel and wool. Although, when I think about what happened not too long ago... Warmth fills my cheeks and I know I'm blushing way too hard to have done this countless times with him.

"Ah." Baekhyun tsks, stopping me from covering my chest. "Take it off." He breathes, soft lips brushing over my neck. "Let me see these tits bounce for me."

My eyes widen at his crude words, a gasp escapes my parted lips when he sucks harshly on a sensitive spot on my neck, pulling down the straps of my bra at a snail's pace. The poor clothing is tossed over his shoulder without a care in the world.

I'm no stranger to Baekhyun's habit of leaving pink and red hues on my skin, but today is different—today it feels like he has something to prove by trapping my skin between his teeth, marking me as his. He doesn't stop at my neck; his restless mouth ventures lower, painting my collarbones and chest with the shape of his lips.

I grit my teeth as he reaches my breasts, determined not to let him win me over so easily. It doesn't matter how much I want to melt under his warm hands mapping out the contours of my waist or tremble in anticipation at his breath fanning over my sensitive nipples. No matter what, I will not crumble... until he does first, at least.

Yeah—easier said than done with the way he's tugging my nipple with his teeth, roughly rolling the other between his fingers. It's all fun and games until his grip tightens on my hip, his pelvis grinding mercilessly against me. A move that has my back arching clear off of the mattress. He just presses me back down to the bed, continuing to alternate between each breast, pulling away minutes later with a wet pop of his lips. He's relentless in using every weak spot of mine. As if he knows what I'm trying to do.

"Not today, baby," He murmurs to my squirming form, chuckling in my ear. I can't help but bite my lip, breath caught in my throat when his hand slides down my body. His large palm covers my clothed core entirely. If it were any other day, I'd be flustered over how true his words from earlier were; the evidence of my previous admiring and current state of euphoria clear as day to his greedy hand, tugging at my last piece of clothing.

My heart races in the realization that I'm lying under him, almost completely bare, as he remains fully clothed besides the ripped shirt clinging to his broad shoulders.

"Ah," Baekhyun smacks my hands away, flashing a grin full of devious intentions. "Don't worry your pretty little head."

He's yanking my underwear down before I can get a word in, tossing them carelessly off the bed and spreading my thighs as far as they'll go.

"Always so ready for me," He muses, spreading my folds apart with his thumbs. I stop breathing entirely when he leans down, spitting onto my pussy. "Your hungry cunt has been waiting all morning for me, hmm?"

My lack of response doesn't bother him in the slightest as he meets my eye, sliding two of his long fingers into my core so suddenly I shout, grabbing his wrist. Baekhyun just pries my fingers off of him before interlocking them with his freehand, bracing our joined hands above my head. My eyes roll back at the burn of the unexpected intrusion. It's a dull, persistent ache while he shoves his fingers deeper into my cunt. He curls them up in a way that has me shaking at the seams, tugging at his silver locks as he brings me dangerously close to the edge. Right when I'm nearing my high, he pulls his fingers out, nonchalantly sucking on them while fiddling with his belt.

I gulp, relaxing back against the sheets. I can't even be mad at this point. Our argument ended the moment I started that fiery-filled kiss, but—

Baekhyun's belt clatters to the floor and his brown eyes have never looked so fierce—so carnal, I wonder if he plans to eat me alive. What I don't expect is for him to crawl further up the bed like an actual predator hunting his prey to hover over me again; his gaze not straying from mine for a second. The warmth of his body encloses me; it's second nature to relax under him when we're like this—when we're touching the tip of the iceberg before diving headfirst into the chilly depths of our lust. Sex with Baekhyun isn't like playing with fire; it's handling dry ice with bare hands.

And being in love with him is one of the most intense and excruciating experiences of my life.

We spend so much time eye-fucking each other that I'm not prepared for the bruising kiss he pulls me into, sliding his cock into my core without a warning.

"Ah—B-Baek!"

"Hmm?" He humors, his low voice filled with lust. "Now she speaks."

"Baekhyun." I gasp when he spreads my thighs wider; the pull from the unfamiliar stretch adds to his incessant pounding—his hips seeming to snap a mile a minute. Oh, please—please don't let both of us have muscle strain tomorrow morning. I swear I've never seen him move this fast for anything. Ever. Baekhyun, what the fuck? Have you started back up on your late-night visits to the gym or something? He's reaching depths he hasn't quite reached before, hitting a spot inside my core that makes me want to cringe away and slam myself onto his cock at the same time.

I yelp out when he tilts my hips at a different angle, not meaning to scratch his back so hard in my hurry to cling onto him. Baekhyun just groans, slamming rougher into me in retaliation, his teeth firmly bite down onto my shoulder.

"Baekhyun! what the—ah—fuck!?" I nearly shriek, appalled and aroused.

Baekhyun smirks, sliding a hand down to press his thumb on my clit. "What's the matter, baby?"

"B-" I can't even say his name without stammering, shaking under him when he slows down to roll his entire body against mine. The only thing I'm capable of at this point is gripping his shoulders, throwing my head back with a loud moan. I always thought of myself as not being a fan of sweat or having any strange, warm liquids touching me, but Baekhyun... Fucking Baekhyun. His sweaty chest brushing over my nipples is making me lose my damn mind—if I was feeling any more horny and adventurous, I'd lick the salty sweat off of his neck.

"Come on." Baekhyun pants with a satisfied grin. Sweat continues to drip from his honey-toned skin, sticking silver locks to his forehead. "Tell me."

The fucker, he knows exactly what's up. It's written all over his face. A part of me doesn't want to beg—my rational side. The one chastising me for falling into bed with him again in the first place. But I don't know how much longer I can take his teasing antics, so despite my stubbornness—despite the heart aching memories creeping up on me in such an intimate moment; I press my body to his.

"Fuck me like you mean it." I pant, yanking harshly on his hair, smirking at his pained hiss until his hips undulate in a new direction. The constant stimulation on my most sensitive spots has my high sneaking up on me so quickly, I don't have time to warn him.

"Bae—!"

Baekhyun's lips crash to mine, swallowing my cry of his name as I fall over that blissful edge. His cock is the only thing on my mind amongst the ringing in my ears—in the minute-long paradise where nothing else matters but our frantic hearts racing as one.

Baekhyun lets out a telling grunt before a burst of warmth fills me up. The remains of his release drip down my thighs with his erratic, shaky thrusts. He doesn't even pull out when he's done. He just leans tiredly over me, coaxing my lips into a lazy kiss. "You're the only one for me." He whispers as if sharing the biggest secret, all rosy-cheeked and wide-eyed.

Beautiful; there's no other way to describe him—in general, in this moment. Nothing compares to his mocha brown eyes that shine brighter than a million stars when his steady gaze sets on me. Nothing compares to the safety of his warm embrace that surrounds me. Nothing could come close to the way he drives me crazy in every single way. Love. Lust. Doesn't matter. If it's with him—for him, it's...

...

Is it worth it?

The emptiness I feel when he gently pulls himself from me triggers every painful memory imaginable: my birthday, the party, our summer fight, his ex, that phone call, his photoshoot...

Baekhyun collapses beside me on the bed, completely oblivious to the war going on in my head. He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close to his beating heart.

I wait for him to fall asleep, brushing damp silver locks of hair out of his eyes as his breathing slows. He looks so peaceful like that, so innocent while his face relaxes with sleep. So... So welcoming, like home.

Tears stream down my cheeks, blurring my vision of his twitching brows and pouted lips. I hope he's happy; I hope he got what he wanted.

Carefully sliding out from under his loving hold, I quietly get dressed, collect my duffle bag, and slip out of the room, holding onto the doorknob for dear life. His quiet mumbles drift through the crack of the door, tossing and turning as if already aware of my absence. I have to cover my mouth to contain my sobs.

I love him—I really do, but I...

I can't do this.

I can't take this anymore. If he won't open up to me; if he thinks I'm... I'm unworthy of knowing his past—hell, fuck that. Apparently caring too much leads to being left behind, if that encounter this morning is anything to go by.

My laughter just ends in more sobs, the salty taste of tears on my tongue more bitter with the realization that once again, I've lost.

But at what cost?

The ache in my chest and between my legs is an answer within itself—the last push I need to retrieve my car keys from the counter.

If he wants to be that way, Baekhyun... Baekhyun can do whatever the fuck he wants. What's the difference between me and all the others? What use am I? Is it because I learned how to cook? Clean? I wonder how many of those late nights at work are actually spent bent over his sketchpad. Am I his personal little stay-at-home trophy? Does it feel good to show me around important events? After today, I might as well hang up the thought of ever stepping into his world again. No one wants a possessive girlfriend in their corner of the wrestler ring. No one needs a jealous, nosy, demanding burden weighing them down. And I have my high standards as well.

I can—and will not—be one of those girls.

Not even for him.

•⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •⇔♦ •

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  P(1) P(2) | Part 4 P(1) P(2) | Part 5 P(1)  P(2) | Part 6 P(1)  P(2)✓ ----- P(3)   P(4)

A/N: I can feel the pitchforks on the rise, l-listen (<.<) just trust me on this, not all is lost.... Or is it?  😇 I’ll try to finish the next part as soon as I can. *cracks fingers* let’s see what this troubled couple gets up to next.

#baekhyun smut #baekhyun romance #baekhyun angst #baekhyun fluff #Six Phases

[stillness-in-green]

I felt like the plf war was rushed

1.Plf advisors getting hype but no payoff

2.Only miruko, Momo, and Kirishma got time to shine

3.Machia got defeated to easily

4.The war felt more like a raid

I don't know if I feel like it was rushed, per se--it's by far the longest arc in the story so far by number of chapters, and would be even if you cut off the Tartarus jailbreak and the entirety of the hospital aftermath. What it absolutely does feel like to me is unbalanced.

You note that the "war" feels more like a raid, and you're right. As a caveat, it's worth keeping in mind that "Paranormal Liberation War" as a name for the arc in question is entirely an invention of the fanbase. To the best of my knowledge, the reasoning for the name was that big action shonen series like BNHA (Naruto, Bleach, Hunter x Hunter, etc) always have a war arc, so what we were seeing in the lengthy, mass combat confrontation with the PLF had to be HeroAca's equivalent. It's not a term that's in the manga itself, however, not called as such by the characters, not referred to as such by Horikoshi or his editors, not even namedropped in chapter or volume titles. If it feels like a raid, that's probably because that's what it was intended to be.

And that's the problem, really. This arc shouldn't have been about a couple of raids; it should have been about a war.

(Below the cut: a bunch of fired-up complaining. Uses some harsh language, and talks about both injuries and deaths we did see and some we logically should have.)

From the outset, we were told that the resources Shigaraki had amassed were "on par with, or even stronger than" the resources of the hero-saturated society. Yet, we're expected to believe that a force that strong is so easily taken down by a single coordinated set of raids? Yes, the heroes had the benefit of surprise, but there's just so much that doesn't work for me.

First off, and to get this out of the way, it's ridiculous that the heroes even had the benefit of surprise. The MLA had an unknown number of hero double agents. They had people in the government; they had people in the infrastructure. This is an organization that had been living undercover completely unsuspected for multiple generations--how did the HPSC ever manage to carry out a massive, country-wide investigation on such a secretive group and coordinate multiple simultaneous, comprehensive raids without a single person finding out and alerting the higher-ups over a period of only three and a half months?

When exactly did Hawks have time to go and revive Best Jeanist--which he tells us he did personally--such that none of the bugs and micro-cameras he was covered with picked up on it, and both he and BJ could be back in the positions they needed to be in for the raid to begin?

How did Skeptic find out about the raid such that he only discovered it at the last possible second and not minutes, even hours, before it kicked off? How did hundreds of heroes (and even "hundreds" is being conservative, given the fact that they had seventeen thousand people to detain) close in on the villa without anyone from the PLF noticing, either Skeptic with his information network or mundane precautions like people on watch?

Even granting the heroes their surprise advantage--which I don't want to--if the advisors were all supposedly "stronger than the average hero," why didn't we see any of them winning? Okay, yes, Hose Face beat Midnight, but he had every possible advantage in that "fight"; I hardly count it as some big impressive defeat that shows us that the villains were holding their own.

Here's another thing: the MLA styled themselves as an army--they were demonstrably trained in troop tactics. When we saw them in Deika, even their nameless on-the-ground people were capable of coordinating with each other on the fly in response to the movements of the enemy, as we saw come up repeatedly:

Yeah, they were off-guard at first, but as soon as the advisors made the front line (which, you'll note, was immediately), that disadvantage really should have begun eroding. Certainly once Geten--Geten! The number one MLA member most willing to disregard collateral damage! And there he was being a proper leader!--got to the front and started yelling orders, we should have seen the PLF rallying, and I can't imagine any sensible justification for the tides not turning when a) Re-Destro showed up to occupy the highest-ranked hero on the field, b) a bunch of heroes peeled off to try to stop Machia only to get trampled for their efforts, and c) Trumpet got dug out.

You know who don't style themselves as an army, though? Heroes. Oh, they get some basic lessons in cooperation as students, but the extent of such lessons we see is stuff like "why it's important for heroes to have signature moves"--so that on group missions, their reputations will precede them and fellow heroes will already know their shtick. U.A. teaches the odd lesson plan that involves the kids fighting in groups, but there's a huge difference between you and 3 to 6 of your buddies fighting a similarly-sized group in a practice fight, or a handful of heroes teaming up to take down some criminal low-lives, and the mass combat scenario that was the raid. For heaven's sake, look at our closest other equivalent: the raid on the Hassaikai base. At every turn in that encounter, the heroes let themselves get split up and picked off, winnowing down their numbers. It's even explicit in the narrative that hero team-ups were, in the age of All Might, uncommon, and heroes are only just beginning to adjust to fighting in teams. The erstwhile MLA should have had the advantage there.

As to Machia's defeat, I think the big problem with it is not how it happened, per se, but the timescale involved. The plan itself was sound enough, and even with all the kids' efforts, it still took Machia reaching Shigaraki and not getting any new orders to follow to really do him in. Given what we can extrapolate about his movement speed, though, I just don't think the kids should have had time to set all those traps, especially given how much of that equipment would have had to be fabricated by Momo on the fly. I know she's gotten stronger and all, and good for her, but you're telling me that in the four months between Joint Training and the raid, she went from passing out because she created a bag of goodies and one (1) cannon to being totally fine and still able to coordinate her fellow students while cranking out 23 jars of sedative, dozens of feet of rope/cable, multiple fire-resistant coats, explosives they somehow had time to bury, and three cannons?

For fuck's sake, Jirou gave Machia's ETA as under ten seconds. Yeah, Mount Lady slowed him down, but "only a little"--how much time could she possibly have bought them, that the kids were able to to coordinate and enact everything that plan involved?

You guys, go read this post by @codenamesazanka. Machia is so fast. So unbelievably, incredibly fast. "Twice as fast as the fastest train in the world" fast. "Horikoshi clearly did not stop to think about the distances involved here" fast. Three miles in ten seconds fast. It would have been hard enough to square with the needs of the plot that the kids were sufficiently far from the villa to have the kind of time they needed to swing Momo's plan at all, but Horikoshi explicitly letting Machia get right on top of them before the kids even start just makes it completely impossible for me to credit. Machia clearly being slower aboveground than he is when burrowing does not make that much difference to my suspension of disbelief.

My other big complaint? More people should have died, for real. The PLF warriors would not have been holding back. They were ready and willing to kill anyone they came up against. The heroes did have to hold back, because heroes, as we're told over and over again, are not supposed to kill, no matter how dire the circumstances. That difference in ability to exercise force should have been yet another significant advantage for the PLF. I could write an entire list of characters that I think could have reasonably been killed during the raids. That wouldn't be to say that I think any individual, specific character on that list should have died, just that, based on the parameters as they were presented to audience, some number of them should have.

I mean, honestly. How did Horikoshi wanna show us Gang Orca's unmoving claw in the wake of Machia's passage and not have Gang Orca on the list of the dead? How did Fat Gun run right into a mass melee and still have enough fat left over afterward to survive getting trampled by a walking mountain? How did Thirteen survive not getting pulled out of the hospital basement when Shigaraki's Decay hit? How did Trumpet survive getting a staircase dropped on top of him? How did Gran Torino survive a fist through his tiny old man chest cavity?

I could go on and on, but it's not just about the deaths, either. I'm not saying that Kamui Woods necessarily should have died by swinging himself face-first into a blast of blue fire, but I am saying that he should have been out of commission for longer than three goddamn days. You bet your ass I'm saying that after telling us that Hawks' weak point is fire, making us watch him spend at a solid minute or more with his wings wholly enveloped in Dabi's 2000 degree flames, and having Dark Shadow exclaim that his back is completely burned away, Hawks should never have grown his wings back, much less so quickly that they were already visible under his shirt a single day later.

More deaths, more maiming--heck, even more retirements. I'm not saying I love that kind of thing in my fiction--I don't, actually. I think an overreliance on it is a sign of edgelordy nonsense. But the scenario that we had demanded to be treated with the kind of gravity that would have led to such an outcome. To set up a conflict like the raid and have the villains only barely be able to scrape a partial escape, to try to tell us that Shigaraki's victory in Deika granted him such a terrifyingly powerful force only to have them lose every battle they got into, to tell us this was a blow that shook Hero Society to its core, only to be so unwilling to kill or retire any heroes the audience cares about that Midnight is literally the only significant loss… It doesn't work. None of it works.

I don't have much to say on which characters did or didn't get a highlight. I think there were a few more people than you listed that got some good scenes--Tokoyami and Uraraka both got material I liked quite a bit; Dabi famously out-trended the U.S. presidential election on Twitter when he (literally) came clean, and Mr. Compress gave us some wonderfully interesting and characteristically opaque material to chew on. On the whole, though, adding more character moments would only have been dragging out the problem: the scale of the PLF's threat and the HPSC's chosen method of dealing with it are simply incompatible with the feeble "neither side truly won or lost" resolution we got.

And that's my rant on that--thanks for the ask!

#and yet #i still hate it less than the shitshow that went down with lady n and overhaul #inkbuckets #paranormal liberation front #meta liberation army #bnha #stillness has salt #stillness answers

[simply-trash5]

PuppetBoy

Okay Kankuro simps, got some more juice for ya! Seriously this was so fun to write. It is a college AU about Kankuro and a reader. I am pretty proud of it. I would love to write some things for you so PLEASE request. Seriously. I’ll even try smut (I’ve never written it before so we’ll see how it goes). Drop them in the ask box and if you like what you read you should totally tell me because i am a self conscious bean.

What the hell is that noise? You think to yourself as you look around. It sounded terrible. Whatever car was making that noise was definitely on it’s last leg. You nod your head realizing it was the same guy you see everyday parked across from the education building at your college. You could hear loud metal playing from the speakers and the windows shaking as he pulled into the lot. He jumped out,slammed the door and gave the tire a swift kick. Wow he’s kinda cute. He stood almost 6 ft. tall and had on a black hoodie that hung lightly over his brown hair. His black jeans had rips in the knees and you could see he was wearing scuffed black DocMartens. You continued to follow him with your eyes as he passed you walking toward the theatre building. He had an eyebrow ring and gauges. Oh shit, I think he caught me staring. He looked at you, scoffed and kept walking toward the theatre building. Is he a theatre major? You wondered to yourself. Maybe he just has to take a fine art credit. Letting your thoughts wander you pulled the straps on your bookbag tighter and walked to your class in the education building. 

The class seemed to drag on forever, and you knew after that you had to go to your nannying job which would take up most of the evening. You wished that you didn’t have to have a job, but unfortunately scholarships didn’t cover all of your tuition. You grabbed your keys from your pocket and headed toward the parking lot. Climbing into your car you started the engine and began making your way to your job. You loved kids, so nannying was a great gig for you. When you arrived at the home of a doctor in your area you were greeted by a small boy with a large grin. “Ms. Y/N, can we go to the children’s theater today? Mom said we could go if it was okay with you, she even left my booster seat so you can drive!” You giggled and shrunk down to his height. “Well if your mom says it's okay, it's fine by me. Let’s grab your jacket and booster seat and we will leave.” The small child ran into the house. His mother approached you. “Thank you so much for watching Trevor,I know he is a handful but i'm rather fond of him.” You gave her a huge smile and told her that it was no problem and explained that you were going to take him to the children's theatre. She said her goodbyes and you walked into the house to retrieve the boys booster seat so that you all could make the 4:00 production of the Three Little Pigs. 

The little boy sitting in front of you on the floor giggled wildly as a wolf puppet “ran” off stage. You smiled down at him. The curtains closed and the crowd gave them a round of applause. The stage hands and puppeteers began to disassemble the set so that they could get ready for the next show when you saw a familiar face. It's car boy. You smiled in his direction, and didn’t realize you may have looked at him a little too long. “Hey, take a picture, it will last longer.” The mysterious boy gave you an annoyed look and a blush began to creep up your face. He was wearing a tight black tshirt that showed off his muscular arms and his tattoo of a sandtimer on his forearm. “Come on Trevor, lets head home,” you said steering the young boy out of the theatre.

“Oh my god what did you say back?” your friend was screeching on the other side of the phone. “Well, see, I just kinda left.” you explained not wanting to relive the embarrassing moment. “Y/N, you have got to do something tomorrow. You’re going to see him in the parking lot and you don’t want it to be weird.” You were twirling your hair around your finger staring at your phone. “Y/N are you still there?” You snapped back to reality, “yeah, I think I will buy him a cup of coffee. I’m sure he never sleeps like the rest of us. He is a college student.” You both finished your conversation and you got ready for bed. You set your alarm early so that you could go to a coffee shop and grab him a coffee to make up for the awkward run-ins you had the last few days. 

“God its early” you whined to yourself but got ready anyway. You had to make a better impression on puppet boy. You gathered your things and headed out the door and made your way to a local coffee shop. You grabbed your latte and then decided it was best to just give him black coffee. You drove to your college thinking about the handsome stranger all the way there. His brown hair was shaggy and fell right into his eyes, which you melted at the thought of his hair being pushed out of his face. Your mind started to drift to what your next move would be as you pulled into the parking lot. Okay, it's 7:45 he should be here any minute. Shit what should I do? In a moment of extreme confidence you grabbed a pen out of your backpack and messily scribbled your phone number on the side of the paper cup. God I hope this works. You took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. You could hear him coming for at least a mile. Alright Y/N you cannot chicken out now. He rolled in and slammed his car door as he had every morning for the earlier part of the semester. It's now or never, you've got this shit. You beelined toward his car. He realized you were approaching and looked at you with a strange face. You immediately got nervous. You just sat the coffee cup on the hood of his car, turned on your heel, and quickly walked to the education building. “HEY! HEY COME BACK!” You heard him calling after you as you continued on your way to class cursing yourself the entire time.

Buzz

You grabbed your phone from your pocket. An unknown number had sent you a text. “How do I know you didn’t drug this coffee so you can turn my corpse into a puppet?” you laughed at the text and a blush spread over your cheeks. “Now why would I do that?” you replied. You typed “Also that is oddly specific” “What can I say, I like puppets?” The conversation continued for the next few days. You saw him a few times on campus but you never spoke in person. He would send you funny memes and videos at all hours of the night. Apparently puppetboy is a night owl. “Um btw, we’ve been talking for days and I still don’t know your name. What should I call you.” “My name is Kankuro.” “Well Kankuro, my name is Y/N. Its nice to put a name with a face.”

Shit I’m never gonna finish this run. You thought to yourself as you continued to run on the treadmill. You had your headphones in and music blaring. You loved to run and hadn’t been to the gym in a few days due to all of your nannying obligations. Okay, only a half mile more to go, you thought to yourself as you pushed your body to keep running. Out of nowhere you felt a large calloused hand on your shoulder. You snapped your head “Hey listen creep I-” before you knew it you were falling only to be caught by Kankuro. “Y/N you falling for me already?” Kankuro flirted giving you a tight smirk. You were shocked, not only by the fall, but by the arms around you. They were strong and helped steady you with ease. He was wearing a dark grey tank top which showed his muscles and tattoo off wonderfully. His legs were muscular too and looked amazing in the black shorts he was wearing. In his other hand he had a pair of boxing gloves. You began to blush and he realized you were staring at him, imagining what he looked like under that tank top. Your hand crept up to your neck where you fiddled with your necklace. He gave you a small chuckle. “I’ve got to go spar with my buddy, but if you want to you can meet me out front in an hour.” You smiled and shook your head and he turned and walked away. The shorts hugged his bottom perfectly and the tank top showed his shoulder muscles. You could see another tattoo on his back. Was it puppet strings? You pursed your lips and began to blush. I would love to see those strings up close. 

The hour wait seemed like the longest hour of your life. You waited out in front of the gym as he came bounding out the door. He was sweating and his shaggy hair was sticking to his forehead. He walked over to his car and opened the door. It made a horrendous screech as it opened and you stifled a laugh. “Whats so funny princess? Just for that we gotta walk to get food.” You blushed. Did he just call me princess? Why was that so hot? “Come on, I’m starving,” he said and began walking down the sidewalk. You walked hurriedly to match his long strides. Damn my short legs. “So Kankuro, where are we going?” he gave you a crooked grin. “Its a surprise.” You giggled and retorted “well how do I know you’re not trying to get me alone and turn my corpse into a puppet?” He gave you a devilish grin, “Well sweetheart lets find out.” Another pet name. Your face turned bright red and you stared at the sidewalk. You approach a deli that you frequent with your friends. “I love this place,” you exclaimed. “Well don’t be weird and actually order some food. I like a girl with an appetite.” You laughed and smiled. You ordered your usual and he ordered grabbing your food and heading outside to a table. You both began eating and chatting casually about your lives. You found out he loves horror movies, especially ones that feature creepy dolls or puppets. You also learned that he has a lot of horror memorabilia in his apartment and that he rarely sleeps. He boxes to keep himself busy when hes not working as a children’s puppeteer. He is studying theatre with concentrations in stage management and special effects makeup. “Kankuro, thats really fucking cool,” you said and began to tell him about yourself. You were studying to be a teacher and nannying as a job to make money for college. You lived in an apartment around the corner from the deli with a friend. “So Kankuro I noticed the sand timer on your arm, do you have any other tattoos?” He gave you another devilish grin.”Yeah I have a back piece that is marionette strings. I’ve loved puppets since I was little so I thought it would be cool. Do you have any tattoos?” You blushed. You stood and pulled up your athletic top to show a tattoo of your family's crest on your hip. You had to pull your shorts down ever so slightly revealing your black lacy underwear. He looked at the tattoo and then back to your face. “Thats a nice one,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck. The conversation continued and you all talked more about your semester and your family. You laughed and told him about how you liked to run and also about how you thought it was cool he was a boxer. “Maybe one day we can spar angel,” he flashed a smile in your direction and you smiled back at the thought. You both got up from the table and threw your trash away. It was dark and cool. You pulled your jacked tighter around your shoulders. “I guess I am going to walk home and let you get back to the gym.” Kankuro shook his head “absolutely not doll, its dark and I’m walking you home.” You blushed. Another pet name, this boy is gonna be the death of me. 

You began walking toward your apartment and your hands brushed several times by accident. “Damn Y/N if you wanted to hold my hand that bad all you had to do was ask. I aim to please.” You blushed and then punched Kankuro. “Still want to spar?” you said cheekily. You both walked in silence but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was as if you had known him your whole life. The comfort of him walking beside you felt so nice. “Well this is my apartment.” You sighed and reached for the door. 

BAM

The door slammed shut and you noticed a strong arm beside your face. Kankuro looked down at your lips and smirked. You began to blush. The tension was so thick. I swear im going to pass out. Your heart began racing as he leaned into you. Your back was pressed against the glass of the door with a strong arm beside your head. His other hand made its way to your tattooed hip, he drew circles over your ink with his calloused thumb. His hands were so large that you could feel his fingertips on your back. The heat rose to your cheeks. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss against your lips. He pulled back, his hand still burning a hole into your hip bone. You opened your eyes to see a smirked Kankuro. You were in shock when he reached his other hand to brush a stray piece of hair out of your face. Your thoughts raced, you wanted nothing more to bring him up to your apartment and let him give you that devilish grin some more. 

“Guess I’m not a killer princess. Text me.” He chuckled, turned on his heel and walked back toward the gym. You watched him until he walked out of sight. You were ready to see him again and maybe see more of that back tattoo.

#naruto #naruto oneshot #naruto fanfiction #naruto au #kankuro x reader #kankuro au #kankuro #kankuro imagines #naruto imagines #eeeeek #im v nervous #please like it kank simps #trash writes

[oooooocheshirecuntoooooo]

In the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere ..... Oh the adventures we had with a hooker. All. Night. Long. 😂

It involves me, my husband, our 18 & 3 year old daughters, a cop and the hooker ... oh and a store clerk and her son. And for real. All night from like 12:30am to 7 am. And now I am home, but without the van and three of the kids didn’t make it home with us.

The following story is absolutely, 100% true. Although it’s not the kind of exciting you’re used to hearing from me, it’s still pretty bizarre. 😂

Just to give a little back story to help paint a clear picture .... So, we always go to my in laws for Christmas but we usually only stay maybe 3-6 days or so depending on how things fall together. This year we decided to stay through New Years because of some drama back at our home. My mother lives on our property and is mentally ill, and we’re pretty sure dementia is setting in. She’s never been an easy person to be around and we have always fought constantly but I have tried to take care of her anyway because she’s the only mom I’ve got, ya know? The last couple years though she’s gotten a lot more aggressive. In July she assaulted her doctor over the mask requirement and even had to go to court over it. Then in august she assaulted me, tried to choke me to death in my own home and in front of my kids. Of course I over powered her and forcefully pushed her out of my house, so yes she sustained bruises and such from that but that’s the extent of it. (She told all of Facebook in a public post that I beat her up every day and that kind of thing. She posts almost every day that she’s being abused, etc. Shes called the police at least 4times in three months. She tried to accuse me of elder abuse and even said I neglect and abuse my kids. Four times they have come out and investigated and not only said they see no signs of child or elder abuse, or anything to backup her claims. They talked to the kids and quickly agreed they were all fine too.

So fast forward to Christmas Eve. We were trying to load up the van to leave for our trip. We couldn’t hardly get it done because she was hounding us so much. When we were done I sent the kids to the car while hubby and I grabbed the last few bags. I blinked and she was charging toward the kids and yelling things at them like “you’re going to be a whore like your mom when you grow up. You wanna suck dick for a living?” And “I hope you die slowly and are alone and afraid for hours before you die.” The oldest child there that day was 12. And no, I’ve never worked in prostitution before. She began to charge toward me when I yelled at her to get away from the kids. Hubby told her to go back in her house and she wouldn’t. Kept coming toward us. So he pulled out his pistol, didn’t cock it or anything, and said again to go back in her house. So she called the police again .... 🙄

So we stayed longer trying to talk to the family lawyer and get a game plan. We’re following through with pressing assault charges so I can get a restraining order, and we’re filing for eviction. So we got all packed and ready to go and noticed liquid under the van. The power steering pump went out and the line busted all over everything. So that set us back another couple of days but we got the line and the pump replaced and tested everything and it looked good. It was late but we decided to set out anyway. We knew we’d get in late but the advantage to that was my crazy mother would be asleep and we could at least get in and unload the van in peace.

About 12:30 the battery light came on and we weren’t near ANYTHING. Somehow we made it another 20 miles or so until we got to a small town we’ve never stopped in before. We stopped at a gas station and barely got in the lot when it died. Hubby tinkered with some things and it looks like the alternator. Apparently some power steering fluid got in it when it busted but we couldn’t see that at the time, including the mechanic neighbor friend helping with it.

So we’re an hour and a half from home and totally stranded in the middle of the night with, thankfully, only two of our kids - the 18 & 3 year old. We make the calls for roadside assistance and I begin calling everyone I know that might can come help us. It’s freezing and none of us packed coats because it’s not usually this cold down here this early in winter. Hubby was wearing shorts even. So we take turns going in the store and sitting in the van with our things - there’s a large fully loaded cargo bag on the roof and a bike rack with two bikes on the back. Figured if we left it alone for a long time those things at least would disappear, essentially given the atmosphere of the place.

In all the moving around and the cashier asking questions and getting to know us and the situation we were in, this big eyed, buck toothed, scraggly little older, black lady who looked like she hasn’t bathed in years starts talking to hubby about what’s wrong with the van. He goes back to tinker with it often hoping he’s wrong about the alternator or that he missed a loose connection - anything that might help us get out of here l, if not home. I am watching cars like a hawk because you wouldn’t believe how many would pull in, loop the parking lot while staring at us and leave again. It started feeling like sharks circling and a feeding frenzy building up. So I’m on edge and I make sure the pistol is within reach at all times. So this little trashy lady keeps talking to him about the mechanics and trying to troubleshoot it. Lemme pain a more accurate picture: this spun out little crack whore was chasing the dragon, looking for it inside the oil reserve, the transmission fluid ..... she keeps pulling out the dipsticks, shaking them like a Polaroid picture and slinging fluids everywhere and then says “I think it’s your starter.”

No doubt she’s trying to hustle some cash and once even asked for some gas money when’s we see the car she rode in pull away and leave her there. She said it was her brother. After awhile, hubby has had enough. He’s usually pretty patient with people who are too fucked up to reach reality but this isn’t the time for all that. Not only is she a hindrance, she keeps snatching his tools and once even his phone out of his hands. I was in the car and I heard him yell “carry your ass already!” If he’s talking to even an annoying stranger like that, I know shit is hitting the fan. Me? I’m Irish. I would’ve done popped off at her which is why I was avoiding her completely. So I got out and joined him and started yelling at her to fuck off. She will take a few steps away and come back but she does finally go all the way back in the store, both of us cussing her the whole way. I blink and she back in his face again. She keeps saying random shit like “anything you can do I can do better” and “I helped you and you just turn me away. That’s not what the Bible says” and “God got me. I don’t need you. I pray for you”

I’m beyond pissed. I’m cold —- and I loath being cold — and I’m tired, it’s now like 2:30 or 3, I’m feeling vulnerable just by being broke down and especially with the toddler who can’t do anything to protect herself or understand what’s going on and who is extremely sensitive to any type of anger or tension (she cries hysterically when her siblings tickle fight or pillow fight and are laughing) and with all I’ve been dealing with with my mom lately I just have no give a shit left in me. So I jump out and say loudly “should I get the gun for you?” He said “it’s starting to look like it.” And I handed it to him and he put it in his pocket - more just wanting to communicate and it wanting to draw on her because that could invite charges for him potentially and we already have enough legal drama waiting at home. She slowly starts walking backward and keeps running her mouth. I forget what she said but she flipped my bitch switch again and I found myself screaming “Don’t make me cut a bitch!”

She said “what did you say?” And I pulled out my pretty pink and Pearl, large and extremely sharp pocket knife and extended the blade, “I said if you don’t carry your ass I WILL cut a bitch!” She nodded that smug kind of nod and kept going, “aaaiiignt”

The car that brought her there and left came back. She got in it and it left, stopped about 20 feet from the parking lot and she appeared to be forcefully shoved out from the way she rolled in the grass. But she goes walking the other direction so we figured she was gone. Meanwhile though in that amount of time I already dialed 911. The operator connected me to the local station and I spoke to dispatch. I kid you not, less than 60 seconds later an officer was there. We later learned he parks in a dark spot across the street of this divided highway. He even saw some of the commotion but couldn’t tell from the angle that it was heated. He tells us all about her, how she’s the local “hooker” / crack whore, along with her sister and mother. When I said we could tell she was drunk or inebriated or something he said, “more like high as a kite in with a jet pack!” I have seen a lot of people high in my years but I’ve never seen anyone act like she was so I asked, “On what?” He just shrugged “likely a combination of things. She’s a non discernment, equal opportunity junkie.”

Would you believe she showed up again while he’s talking to us? She tried to act like they were friends “hey! I know you. You’re married to my kin ...” He kinda yells at her and smirks “you a damn lie and you know it. I’m not even married.” Tim and I both glanced at his hands, his wedding band plainly visible. I got back in the van because my teeth are chattering so bad I can’t speak anyway. He puts her in the back of his car and talks to my husband again. He tells him he’s use to her and is going to take her to a relatives house where she goes when she needs to sleep it off for a day or two. He leaves and about 20 minutes later he’s back. Apparently he almost ran out of gas and he wanted to check in on us again. The jokes flew about how awkward that would look if he ran out of gas and was on the side of the road with the town hooker and all. He was a really nice guy and stayed with us most of the rest of the night. He said he got off at 7 and if we still didn’t have any help to give him a call, giving us his cell number.

So, at the same time I’m trying to get something done about the tow truck that needs to come get the van and find someone to come get us. The first wrecker — BROKE DOWN ON THE WAY TO PICK US UP! I was starting to feel cursed! The second wasn’t informed this would be a “long haul” tow and he only does local. Third times the charm right? Apparently so this time. He was a nice guy as well and took extra steps to keep the bikes and things secure on the trip.

We even had talked to hubby’s parents when we very first broke down. They were asleep but I was able to text my kids that stayed behind to spend another day or two with them, and they were coming up anyway to do some work on the property up here and file the eviction. So the boy, who will be 11 tomorrow, and the 12yo girl woke them up and told them we broke down. Apparently the 8 year old had already gone to sleep. His parents got up and talked to us and they were like, we’ll work on it and let me know what you find out. What the insurance company will do. So when the tow truck showed up, at 4:30, we asked if one of them could come get us because all the insurance company said was “MAYBE a supervisor could make an allowance for a Lyft or something like that but it didn’t seem a highly probable option. I realize we were 3 hours from his parents but they got up and stayed up from the first time we called and father in law could’ve gotten us and most of our stuff in the van and gotten us home, and him back to his house, before lunch and then slept or done whatever work he felt was more important than our safety. I’m kinda ticked about that. So we get what things we can’t live without immediately and head into the store to wait for a solution to arise, or friends to wake up! I was the last one going in and I was shivering so bad I dropped the things in my hands. I bent down to pick them up when two large shoes stepped in to my view, directly in front of me.

I stand up and then continue looking up to find the eyes looking back at me - a huge ‘cornfed’ red neck man who almost is convincing at appearing to be tough as nails, but I see the gentle kindness in him immediately. However, when he named the itty bitty, no red light havin’ isolated little farm town we live in I was flabbergasted. I actually stuttered and just made noise instead of words when I tried to respond. He even chuckled and playfully’ mocked’ me but was even kind about it. It was more like he got a kick out of how taken off guard I was. He said “Do y’all need a ride to (hometown)?” in that extremely slow, drawn out way the redneck Southerns do. In a minute I nodded and said “How do you know that?” I continued walking in the store as I spoke and of course he followed and opened the door for me. Hubby had run back and flagged down the tow truck before it left, remembering the car seat was left in it and that would be essential to getting us home. He had already talked to the man but j didn’t know that. In fact, in all the in and out that night hubby and my older daughter had told the cashier bits and pieces of the situation and it hit a point where she realized help wasn’t coming very fast and didn’t want to see any more trouble fall on us like with the oh so classy hooker we had already met. So she called her son, knowing this was the kind of thing he was always looking to do. He kept telling us that he just really liked to drive and it was no big deal and that he had time to get us there and back home before work even. After debating over it for what felt like hours but was probably only 5 minutes hubby and I decided it was probably the smartest option. He usually has a pretty keen sense of a persons character pretty quickly and so does my 18 year old - although it still needs to be fine tuned a bit but that will come with time, maturity, and unfortunately, heartbreak. We felt like we had a read on the kind, older lady cashier too and she even said “It’s ok. He’s my son. He’s not gonna hurt you or anybody that doesn’t try to hurt him first.”, laughing the last few words out and the glances between them revealing some inside joke / event. So we went ahead and got in his little car - which was more like a jumbo Geo Tracker and I honestly wondered how he ever fit inside. It wasn’t the best looking thing, kinda shabby and needing a lot of TLC, but for us it may as well have been luxury. It was a diamond in the rough, symbolic of the man who offered to drive us an hour and a half to get us home, and then back, before he went to work that day. By the time we got him we knew his life story - 33 and already a survivor of the heart attack they call ‘the widow maker’. We instantly fell in and we’re good friends. By the time we got home - at 7am - we hated to see him go. Of course we had a little Christmas gift cash on us and gave him a little something for his trouble, especially since he wouldn’t come in and let me make him something for breakfast. As I hugged him bye I told him “I will forever call you ‘My Angel Michael’. He said, “Well thank you ma’am. It was my pleasure.” and with that, he drove away.

[words-for-holland]

Happier (7) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Y/N ultimately makes a choice that might just change the game. Tom is out with Natalie and LOTS of questions are asked. Is Unknown back for more mischief?

A/N: Wow 7 already?? Thanks again for the support!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Masterlist

Choices

No one goes through life without have to make choices. Sometimes, the choice is easy, but other times it becomes the most difficult, nervewrecking thing one can come across. The worst part...there’s no one to blame but yourself if you choose wrong. The day Y/N broke up with Tom was the most difficult and heartbreaking choice she could have ever done. But what would you do if you were given the option of saving everything your boyfriend had worked for his entire life and breaking both your hearts for a time being?

Now as Y/N lays in bed, surrounded by darkness and her two friends, she is left with another difficult choice. “This was your home. Your real home is in London with us.” Harrison’s words repeat in her head. “So what do you say?”

Her mind reminisces to every amazing moment she’s had in London. All the laughter, adventures, and love she’s shared with every one; it was everything Y/N could have wanted. Then she thought of Tom, and how her feelings were amplified with him. He made her feel more alive, but now miles and hearts apart, life was lifeless. The bad memories start to flood, reminding her of why she was back here in the first place.The messages, the media...Natalie. It made her sick to a point she had to get out of bed and go to the bathroom in order to cleanse away the energy.

As Y/N washed her face and looked in the mirror, she couldnt help but notice something strange in her reflection. “Yes, that’s exactly how you look when you’ve been betrayed and heartbroken.” A voice spoke out. Y/N displayed a look of confusion. It certainly wasn’t Harry or Harrison voice. The voice was femine. In fact...it sounded a little bit like...

“Hello? Earth to Y/N! I’m right here!” The voice exclaimed, as Y/N turned around to the sink and saw a version of herself.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Y/N screams, backing up and hitting the cream colored wall.

“Calm down. It’s just your concious.” Y/N’s subconcious, casually stated as she took a sip off a nonexistant champagne glass. She was definitely dressed more classier than Y/N and her attitude was straight to the point. Traits Y/N had always wished she had.

“I definitely must be losing my mind.” Y/N shakes her head, her face plastered in disbelief. She takes a seat on the floor and starts to cradle her head.

“Oh sweetie, you’re not losing your mind. You just need help making another big decision in your life.” Her subconcious smiles, sitting down properly as she plays with her glass.

“Yeah...and where were you when I was breaking down because I had to choose leaving Tom or saving his career?” Y/N challenged as she picked her head up to look at her fiery clone.

“Well, I was hoping you’d have made the right choice then, but clearly looks like you’re incapable of doing that... so here I am.” Y/N’s subconcious gestures with a smile. “So? What’s it gonna be? Staying here or London with your man?” She asks fliratiously when she indirectly mentions Tom. “Here’s a hint. If you’re choosing to stay here, you’re choosing wrong.”

Y/N glares at her subconsious, her eyes filling up with annoyance. “Are you serious right now? After everything that’s happened...you want me to go back to London? God, I feel like a broken record. Why doesnt anyone get it?!”

“No, I think the real question is why dont you get it?” Her subconcious snaps. She stands up and moves closer to Y/N staring into her eyes, as if she was pulling out an inner truth. “You know that whole relationship is a ruse. You know Tom still loves you, and you’re the one spending all this useless time, trying to find an answer that you and I both know.”

Y/N stares down at the tiled floor, eyes welling up with tears. Her subconcious continues, “if you’re still thinking about those stupid messages and Unknown, just stop. Stop the bullshit. At some point in your life, you’re going to have to face the fear, the insecurities, and the threats. It’s a part of your life, and if you let that stop you, you’ll be miserable like this for as long as you live. Think about it.”

With a snap of her fingers, her subconcious disappeared and Y/N was left alone in the bathroom. The time ticking away as she stood silently deciding her future.

Back in London, Tom and Natalie had been give a stunt to pull off at the Kingston Farmers Market, where on even the rainiest day, the small quaint shops display their finest produce and trinkets. As the lovely couple make their way down the streets, Natalie wraps her arms around Tom’s as she snuggles into his neck to keep warm. Tom smiles at the gesture, but those that knew him, could easily point out it was the smile reserved for work.

As they walk hand in hand, Tom observes all the small stands and their beautiful displays, but one stopped him in his tracks completely. It was a small sweets stand that showcased their finest desserts and pastries. He remembered it very well from 3 years ago. After all, this was the exact spot where Y/N and Tom had their first date.

He rememebered the stroll they took as they walked down the cobbled road with all the wooden stalls lined up on each side. How Y/N ‘s tiny hand had fit perfect in his, fingers laced together, as they lightly swung back and forth. Tom could hear her laughing as she was telling him a story about her embarassing moments with her childhood friends. He remembered listening intently and smiling back, telling Y/N she was something else in the best way possible. Tom remembered how she stopped at this very spot, where he and Natalie now stood today.

“Do you want to take a look?” Tom asked, smiling as he saw Y/N looking at the desserts and pastries as if they were her first love. “You’re practically drooling.” He joked, only to get a slight shove from her.

“Am not!” Y/N laughs, keeping her eyes focused on the desserts. “Just admiring the view.”

“Ouch. Here I thought I was the view all along” Tom responds, putting a hand on his wounded heart. A moment of silence passed, but it was anything but akward. They smiled, looking into each others eyes. Tom took notice of every little detail that made up her delicate, soft face. He took her hand again as he lead her to the stall. “C’mon, lets see if we can find something to satisfy that sweet tooth of yours.”

As the two looked carefully at the display, one caught his eyes. It was big enough to share, shaped in a heart, and the best part...covered in chocolate and whipped cream. “How cheesy.” Y/N says as he picks it up.

Tom froze, his cheeks turning a slight pink. “Is it?”, he questions as he was about to put it back until Y/N stopped him.

“Cheesy, but in a good way.” Y/N says as she takes the pastry and hands it over to the cashier. Tom smiles at her, letting out a soft chuckle as he pays for it. They split it in half as they took a big bite, making sure to get every element of the pastry. It was soft, sweet, mushy, and crunchy all that the same time. As they each pulled away from the dessert, Tom noticed a little bit of cream lingering at the top of her lips. “You got a little something there.” Tom laughs pointing to where it was.

Y/N tried to lick it off, unsuccessfully as Tom shakes his head. He comes in closer leaning in as his lips touched hers, making an effort to wipe off the cream. Their lips lingered for a few seconds, slowing and reluctantly parting away. He could never forget how soft her lips were, and how a thousand butterflies exploded the moment he first kissed her at that very stand.

“Better?” She asks as she looks down, hiding her rather giddy smile.

“Better than I could have imagined.”

It was in that moment, Tom had woken up from his daydream of the past. “Tom! C’mon! You could at least act like you’re interested in me for the cameras.” Natalie snaps him out, showing evidence of annoyance. She grabbed his arm again as they walked towards the sweet stall, tainting the memories of Y/N and Tom’s first date. Natalie’s face softens as she looks at the display and then looks at Tom as he eyes the one pastry. “Look I’m sorry. I didnt mean to lash out like that. It’s just..I’m really trying to help you get over this and make you feel better, while being in this situation, but you’re not really helping me out here.”

“I’m sorry Natalie. Im just...not really feeling up to this.” Tom admits as he looks at Natalie with a solemn smile.

Natalie rolls her eyes, as she hears the same response from him for the 50th time since the fiasco happened. “Tom, I get you’re still heartbroken and all I told you Im trying to be here for you, especially since Harrison and Harry are god knows where. But I need some effort on your end. Plus you did agree to do the PR.”

Tom looks at her with digust, glaring into her dull brown eyes. “Only because your publicist threatened me pictures of Y/N and some bloke she was with!”

Natalie crosses her arms listening to Tom as if it wasn’t a big deal. “You mean her new boyfriend? And my publicist never threatend you. She just...simply stated facts.”

“He isn’t her boyfriend!” He says as his voice starts to boom with anger. “And I was stupid enough to believe it and wait for Y/N to say it herself. She told me your publicist worked with Y/N’s friend and sent it in...Is it true?”

Natalie looks at him, frozen with fear, her top lip shaking just a little. “You know? She called you?” She asks.

“It doesn’t matter if she did or didnt. Is it true?” Toms asks again.

“I don’t know Tom. I know only as much as you during that meeting. And why would you believer what comes out of her mouth. Maybe she’s playing you. She broke your heart and I dont see why she wouldn’t do it again by manipulating you with facts that could or couldn’t be true.” Natalie speaks out as she continues to look away. “C’mon the paparazzi are here.”

Tom looks at her in disbelief, scoffing at her response. He drops his arm from her hands as he walks away. Natalie stands there watching him, as she felt her phone vibrate.

Unknown

Pushing him away, pushes away your dreams ❤️

Natalie stares at the notification, her face turninng pale as if she had seen a ghost. This wasn’t how the game was supposed to work, and yet here she was. She knew exactly what the text meant and perhaps even worse...knew exactly who it came from, which made it all more impossible to fight back.

A few days had passed, and Tom comes down to the kitchen to see Harrison and Harry entering the house setting down their luggages and bags. “And where the hell did you two divs go?” Tom questions them, evidently pissed off that they both went somewhere without a word. He was ready to say more when he saw Y/N walk through the doors with her baggage in hand. To say he was surprised was an understatement. In fact he was shocked, over the moon. He discreetly piched himself to see if he was dreaming. He certaintly was not. Y/N was here.

“Y/N” was all he could manage out. “I..I..”. It had been months since he last saw her, and yet she still looked beautiful even if she had no makeup and showed signs of distress. It broke his heart immensely to see her in this state.

“Dont get too excited. Im only here cause Harrison and Harry wouldn’t leave me alone if I didnt come.” Y/N grumbles as she brings her stuff in.

Natalie heads down the stairs to join the group, eqUally as shocked to see Y/N back. “Oh...you’re..you’re back.” She states nervously and clearly annoyed. Everything they had set up was no longer going according to plan.

“I am. I’m gonna go set my stuff up in the attic.” Y/N speaks out as she awkwardly makes her way upstairs.

“You know what. I’m sure you boys have a lot to talk about, so I’ll just make my way to my room.” Natalie quickly says, disappearing from the room.

Tom, Harry, and Harrison were left in the room. All three staring down at each other. “You went to see her?” Tom spits out. “And didn’t tell me?”

“Tom. We need to talk.” Harrison says as he sits him down ready to speak out on everything that has been waiting to be brought to light.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh

#tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader

[softstarfire]

Secret Apprentice: Chapter 5

The Star and the X

Chapter 4 - Chapter 6  (AO3) (FF.NET) 

Summary: Starfire has a fun date with her new friend. She gets to feel "normal", “human”. Her happiness doesn't last long. As time flies by, her problems get worse. The rain won’t wash her doubts off and in the Tower her best friends are waiting for her with questions that she won’t want to answer. Will a strawberry dress make things better?

Chapter 5: The Star and the X

Red X and Starfire landed on the entrance of the mall. He had put on his mask and immediately clocked himself so no one would see him. “I haven’t been to this mall, but it was the most close one”, she turned around and couldn’t see him. “X… I am sorry, Jason?”, he took a minute before letting her know she was by her side. He had never imagined he would hear her call him by his real name. Could this become a regular thing for her? For them? 

“Did I let him fall?”, she was walking around by his side with a worried look on her face. “I am here, but I don’t think I should enter like this”, she heard his voice and ran to him with her arms stretched out trying to feel his body and she did. She wrapped her arms around his body. “Jason! I am glad that you are well, I thought I lost you”. He held his breath in, why was she so happy for him? He exhaled. Everything about her was so different and new to him, he couldn’t understand her but somehow it made him feel warm inside. She stepped back and took his hand and flew him up. This time she only took him a hundred meters above the mall. With her free hand she took off his mask. “We are out of Jump City. We shall not be recognized”, he turned around to see Jump City miles away from where they were. He could still see the back of the Teen Titans tower. “You said it was the closest”, she avoided answering and flew down again.

Without letting go of his hand, she pulled him into the mall. It was a small one, it wasn’t too crowded and there were just a couple of security guards. Nobody seemed to care when they entered.

They walked into the first store they found. “We shall get you a new glorious fit of the out”, Starfire stated as she walked through the aisles. She stopped at the man’s side of the store. “What style do you prefer?”, she asked looking back at him finally. “I think I can do this by myself”, Starfire looked around. “There is one thing I haven’t planned”. She got closer to him. “I do not carry the money”, she whispered. He chuckled and took some out of a pocket behind his belt. “Slade payed me just yesterday, we may as well enjoy it”, he gave her the money and she looked at it amazed. “This is too much of the money!”, she tried to keep her voice down. “Stealing from the Teen Titans pays well”, he answered. She gasped. “I do not think I should use this money if it is-“, Jason put his hand back in his pocket and took out a black card. 

“Here. My mh... I guess you could say, my dad? he gave me that card. He said I could use it in case of emergencies, and I think this qualifies as one”, he shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, you have a father”, her eyes opened up in surprise, “Well, he’s not actually my... It’s complicated. Just take it, the code is 1608”, she came closer to him. “Why is it 1608?”, he sighed at her question. “It’s my birthday”, he answered softly. “Oh! That is so kind from you father”, he didn’t answer. “Get some clothes and I’ll meet you at the ice cream shop, okay?”. 

She took the card. It had Jason’s name on it. When he was about to leave, she hugged him. “I shall thank you for this plastic version of the money”, she gave him a kiss on his cheek and walked away. Jason froze on the spot. Lucky for him, she walked off without looking back at him.

After an hour Red X was ready. He walked to the Ice Cream shop. He was wearing black skinny jeans, black combat boots, a black t-shirt, a brownish leather jacket and a black backpack to keep his uniform in. He stopped himself a couple of stores before the ice cream shop. He looked at his reflection in a jewelry store. Would she like how he looked? Why did he care about it? He really wanted to look good, at least for her. He tried to fix his hair to make it look more casual. He ended up making it look a little like Robin’s, but like an I just woke up version of Robin’s spikey hair.

When he got to the ice cream shop, he looked around for Starfire but she wasn’t there, so he sat in one of the tables that were near the glass door and he waited. He looked at his brand new watch. Ten minutes went by and no one came in. 30 minutes. 40 minutes. 1 hour. Nothing.

Jason was half worried for her and half worried for the card he gave her. He got up and went out to look for her. He looked in every store of the first floor, but he couldn’t find her. He went to the second floor and repeated the same process. He walked around for another hour maybe, he looked at his watch again. 2pm already. They didn’t have much time to get to the museum, it closed at 5pm if it was like the one he used to visit when he was a kid in Gotham.

There was one place where he hadn’t looked: the hair salon. He slowly made his way to the place. The big glass windows let him see who was inside of the shop. He didn’t see Starfire in any seat, nor in the counter or in the back. Still, this was his last chance, so he entered.

 The woman at the reception greeted him and asked if he wanted to get a haircut. He shook his head and kept looking around. A blonde woman saw him and approached him laughing. “Now you must be the boyfriend”, he looked at her confused. “I am looking for a girl mh... she has green eyes and-“, the woman cut him off and put an arm around his shoulders as she pulled him to the back of the salon where there was a white closed door. “Your girl is right here”, as the woman said that, the door opened. 

Starfire came out of the backroom. She was wearing a short pink dress with strawberries all over it, white combat boots, her fully green eyes looked human, but they were still green. Her red hair was dark pink now and she had curled it just a little bit, so it fell gracefully past her shoulders. He was more than surprised, he was speechless, he was blushing for sure and his heart was beating faster again. “Fuck”, he thought as his feelings took over his whole body. “Oh! Jason, you were wrong when you said that I could change anything I wanted instantly. It took much longer”, she complained. Starfire walked out of the bathroom and went back to the seat where her other things were. She had changed her backpack for a pink one in which she kept all her secrets and now her purple uniform.

The hairdressers laughed at Jason’s surprised expression. He turned around to look at Starfire, but he didn’t move from the spot where the woman left him. “Go, kid or you’ll lose her”, he heard from another hairdresser. Starfire took her things and she walked to the counter. Jason finally moved; he almost ran to her.

After paying, the two teenagers walked out of the place. “You look... What is the world that Beast Boy uses?”, she asked putting her backpack on. “Oh yes! You look cool”, she smiled at him. He hadn’t said a word still and there were a lot of words that he wanted to say, but he couldn’t. “I like your jacket; it looks glorious on you. Do you like my dress?”, he cursed in his mind. Yes, he liked her dress but that wasn’t the only thing that he liked. “You do not like my dress?”, she asked. Her shoulders relaxed and she pouted again. Why was she being like this? Why was she acting like this? What did she want from him? “I like it, I... You look beautiful, Starfire”, that last sentence came out so softly that only she could hear it since she was just next to him. “Oh, thank you, friend!”, she hugged him, stopping them in the middle of the hall. When she let go of him, he felt his cheeks burning. He cleared his throat. “I wish to show this dress to Robin”, as she said that he felt a familiar feeling: jealousy. He had felt this for a while know, especially because of Dick. “We have to hurry, or we won’t get there in time”. He changed the conversation. Starfire pulled him to a hall that conducted to the emergency stairs. There was no one there. She took off her backpack and opened it. He waited, looking at her, taking in every detail of her face. He wanted to remember this moment with her alone even if it wasn’t special to her.

She showed him the button she took from Red S’s belt. He took it. Their eyes met as she extended her right hand and he held it on his right one. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them. She smiled once again and lifted him from the ground, making her way out through a window. He pushed the button making them invisible to those around them. Jason didn’t see her either, he could only feel her warm skin through his hand. And the wind. He could hear her giggling here and there. That was enough for him to imagine her smile, her hair and her face full of joy.

When they landed on a side of the museum, he pushed the button again. There she was. Her hair covered her face and she was laughing as she tried to push it away. He put the button in his pocket and helped her uncover her face. It was her hair. He thought it was a wig, but it was in fact her soft hair. “So, you will have pink hair from now on?”, he asked when he could see her eyes again. She shook her head. “It is not permanent. I can wash it off. Do you like it better?”, she asked tilting her head. Another one of those things Starfire did that had an effect on him that he couldn’t put into words. “I like it, but red is your color”, she giggled and now that sound also had that effect on him. “Now, how does this work?”, she looked at the big building beside them. “Haven’t you been on a date or something to the museum?”, she shook her head. “I haven’t been on a- Oh yes! I was in Robin’s date with that Kitten girl. It was a dance that was a date and I did not enjoy it first”, she pouted again. This time Jason took her hand and pulled her to the main entrance.

They were greeted by a security guard. The first thing that caught Starfire’s attention was the big T-rex skeleton in the middle. She was about to fly to it, but Jason pulled her closer to him. “No flying, Starfire”, he whispered. “But Beast Boy-“, she pleated pouting once more. “That’s not him, it’s a skeleton from a real dinosaur”, her eyes grew bigger and she ran to it. She walked in circles around it and only stopped when she saw a screen with a text about the history of that skeleton. She read it. While she read the text to Jason, he looked around. He counted the guards, the cameras and the workers. He even counted the public, there were a lot of kids since it was a Sunday. “They do not exist anymore? They did not mention that Beast Boy can turn into different types of dinosaurs”, she complained poking the screen trying to correct it. “Let’s move”. Jason pulled her away once more.

They spent hours walking around, she read everything she could, even the emergency signs. Meanwhile, he kept looking for the cameras, keeping track of every detail that could be useful to Slade.

On the basement of the museum, there was an exhibition about aliens. They detailed how the most famous ones came to earth and there was a miniature replica of the ship that brought Starfire to Earth. The Gordanian’s ship. Her eyes lit up and she held her right hand up with a starbolt ready to blow the replica. “Hey! Calm down, it’s not real. It’s like a toy”, he grabbed her hand. She hid the starbolt so he wouldn’t get hurt when he touched her. “They used me like a toy. They experimented on me and they hurt my people”, her eyes went back to normal and he could see tears starting to fill those emeralds up. She had probably burned the contacts, he figured.

Jason slowly put down her hand, still holding it in his. He sighed and looked at her, not knowing what he could say to make her feel better, what she had just told him was horrible and there was no possible way that he could compete against the pain they caused her. Her tears started falling down her cheeks and she just let her head down. He hugged her, putting his arms around her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She sobbed in his chest for a while until she felt like the pain had washed off, at least for now. Then, she looked at him again, stepping away to see his face. “Thank you, X... Apologies, Jason. I feel better now, and I must thank you for being a good friend to me”, Jason just smiled. He didn’t know what to say to that too, but he couldn’t think about it for much longer because she leaned in and put a soft kiss on his right cheek. He immediately froze again. Those same new feelings came back. It felt like he had something going on in his stomach, but it wasn’t painful, it wasn’t 

uncomfortable either. And his heart was beating faster. Also, his cheeks were probably red, at least a brighter tone than his regular pale color. He wanted to do something. He wanted to kiss her back but not on the cheek. What if he just leaned in and did it? It wouldn’t be a bad thing? Would it? She smiled at him and turned away. He was so focused on her that he missed the man that came in to announce that they would closing in 10 minutes. She nodded and went back to tell him. “We must get back to the lodge. Are we done with the checking of the security system?”, she asked. “Yes”, he walked to the door and she followed him. The two went back to the entrance. He looked around once more just in case he missed something. She was looking around too and when they got out of the museum she sighed. “I had so much fun, that I did not get to do the checking as well as I wished to do”, she confessed, her shoulders fell back down, and she pouted. Once again, he wanted to kiss her. “Robin always says that to remain focused is a great ability. I must say that sadly I lack that ability”, she giggled. There he was, Robin. There was no way that Jason could have Starfire. There was no way that he could kiss Starfire. She could only think of Robin. Robin this, Robin that. It felt like a harsh reminder that he needed to get back to his side of this game.

“You should get back to the lodge, I will get home on my own”, she looked shocked at his statement, maybe a bit sad? “Are you sure?”, she asked. Did she want him to stay? No, there was no way. “Yes, don’t let me keep you away from your Robin”, Jason handed her the button from Red S’s suit. She looked confused now. Maybe a bit angry? “Are you okay?”, she asked as she saved the button in her backpack. Now he was confused. If she was angry, why would she worry about him? He ignored her. “Jason, please, did I say something wrong? Is it Robin?”. Touché. “No, Starfire, it’s your Robin”, he turned around and ran away from her, she didn’t follow him this time. He was right, it was her Robin. That’s why he had to do it, he had to become the new one if he wanted a chance on a new life.

Starfire sat on a bench in the park until it got dark. Something about looking ‘normal’ made her feel different. Nobody recognized her, she didn’t have to fight crime or be with a masked Robin. She wanted to have a day like this one but with him, no masks, no powers. Just Dick and Koriand’r or maybe Kory with the human eyes.

She walked through the park until it started raining. She quickly tried to run for cover but there was nowhere to go where she was standing, so she stayed there. The water started washing the pink dye off her hair. She looked at it as she returned to her red-haired self. The dress got wet and she could almost feel her uniform back on her skin. She clocked the backpack, it was time to go home.

She walked through the park, then she ran and then she flew. The cold normally affected her powers, so she flew slowly until she reached the tower. She landed on the main entrance. She felt tired, she felt sad and because of that, she felt weak. Starfire entered the code on the panel at the door. There she saw her teammates; they were looking at her with confused stares.

Starfire entered into the first floor. She stopped just two steps away from the door. “Star, we have to talk”, Robin started. He had his mask on and his voice sounded sad? No, that wasn’t it. Angry? Not at all. What was it? What could he be feeling? Why was it so difficult to know his feelings? Oh right. She knew what he was feeling, at least what it sounded like. He sounded disappointed.

“Where were you, Star?”, Cyborg’s voice sounded disappointed too. “I...”, there was no way she could tell them she went to the lodge, that Slade was there, that Red X was there and then she had a date with the last one in a museum. Was it a date? That’s what it looked like. Like those movies she was always watching that Beast Boy passionately hated. Why couldn’t she have a date with the one she wanted to? “Where?”, Beast Boy sounded disappointed. “I was mh...”, could she tell them about the pink hair? What about the lenses? And the dress? She looked down. Her dress was all wet. “Tell us, Starfire”, Raven sounded disappointed. “I went shopping”, she tried fixing her wet dress. She wanted Robin to see her in that dress so badly and now he had seen her, but he didn’t say anything. Was it so bad?

“Look, Starfire...”, Robin walked up to her. The way he said her name sounded like how her mom used to call her before telling her to go to her room because she had done something bad. And in this case, she really had done something bad. “We saw you flying off today, you didn’t just fly away from the tower, you disappeared...”, he paused. He was really struggling to say what he wanted to say, but she already knew. And she was struggling too but she had too much pain inside to let it out. Robin looked away from her. Why couldn’t he look at her? “You hate me”, her shoulders fell, she looked down and sighed. “No, Starfire. We just want to know how you did that because...”, he paused again. Did she break Robin again? “Because you looked like Red X”, Beast Boy pointed out from behind Robin. “And after the weird encounter we had with him we wanted to know if you, mh...”, Cyborg paused too. Raven walked up to her. “Starfire is there any chance that you are working with Red X on something?”, the Tamaranean stepped back and they all looked at her like she had just confessed. “I am not”, she immediately responded, looking back up at them. Her eyes lit up for a second, but her feelings were too confusing for her to be just as angry as she needed to light them up for good. “Then why did you disappear just like he does?”, Robin asked. He came close to her once more. 

She sighed. Why? The reality was that she did work with him and it got worse because he also was working with Slade. She couldn’t tell them about Slade, she had to protect her planet, and this was the best way. But Red X. Jason was different. He somehow had helped Robin once. Maybe she could make them see him as she did. As her friend. “Robin, you know he is not just a bad person. He helped us once. And when I needed it, he helped me too”, she explained tearing up. Maybe it looked like she was crying because of what she was about to tell them. Maybe they figured she was going through something. But the fact was that she was crying because she was about to lie to her best friends.

“When we fought him at the building he told me that he wanted to mess with us, with you Robin and with me that night that he stole the T-ship apart from taking it. But when he did not see me, he tried once again at the building. But he noticed that I was not myself and he asked why I wasn’t there the other night. I- I just told him the truth and he did not know how to react. He just listened so I continued talking. I was so sad at that moment that I told him that I wanted to disappear. That is when he touched my face, which Beast Boy saw from the window. But he didn’t just touch my face, he gave me something else. He gave me a button like the one in his belt and he told me to use it in case I felt like that again. That is why I used it today and it felt well... I did disappear. I felt better. I felt free”. At least she wasn’t totally lying. When she looked back at her teammates they all looked shocked.

“Star... I am so sorry you felt like that”, Cyborg was the first one to talk. “Me too, I didn’t know, or I would have been there for you”, Beast Boy joined in. “Starfire, we all would have been there for you. I am so sorry. I should have felt something. I should have helped you”, Raven came closer. Her three teammates hugged her and when they moved away Robin stood still in front of the alien princess. He walked up to her, he put his right hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb. “Starfire, you should have never felt that way. You brought us together. You are the heart of the Teen Titans. You can’t leave us. You can’t leave me”. Beast Boy hugged Raven’s right arm. “I am gonna cry”, he whispered. “Kiss her already”, Cyborg yelled. “We are not looking”, Beast Boy covered Raven’s eyes and she tried to push him away.

Robin kissed Starfire’s forehead, then he kissed her nose and when he was about to kiss her lips, he stopped. “I love your dress, Star”, she blushed. Her eyes closed as soon his lips were on hers.

The rest of the team cheered for them. Well, Cyborg and Beast Boy did. Raven was still trying to get BB’s hand out of her face and when she did, she smiled at the sight of the couple in front of them. “I’ll get the kids out of here”, she took the shape shifter’s hand and dragged him to the elevator, pushing Cyborg in the way.

When Robin’s lips left Starfire’s, she opened her eyes. “Is it too late to ask you and your dress out on a dinner night?”, Dick asked softly. Her teammates were already gone so the silence that surrounded them made his voice echo a little bit in the big entrance of the tower. “Robin, would you please give me some time to do the fixing of myself?”. She tilted her head. He smiled at the sight of her cuteness. “I’ll wait, Star”, she smiled back. “And Robin, could I get a date with Dick Grayson?”, she tilted her head to the other side. He chuckled. “Anything else?”, he asked jokingly, and she just shook her head. “Then Koriand’r and Dick are going on a date”, she clapped in excitement lifting herself just a bit from the ground. She held his hand and took him to his room as fast as she could. When she let go of him, she flew in small circles. He had never seen her this excited, he thought. And she got excited easily. “Go get ready, Star, or we will be dinning at midnight”, she nodded with her eyes closed. “I must get ready for our date”, she said that last bit slowly and then she flew away to her room. He stayed there for a bit just thinking about her. He was happy that she felt better, but he was sad that she felt so bad in the first place. When he was about to enter the room, he stepped on something watery. It was a tag from the store were Starfire had bought the dress. It said that it was a limited collection from the mall outside Jump City. It was not the mall were Starfire regularly went. There was something about it that made him wanna check it out, but he had a date to get to, so he rushed into his room and put it away with other paperwork he had from his investigations.

Back in Starfire’s room, she was trying her best to dry her dress. She had put the backpack in her closet, and she wasn’t paying attention to it. She was trying her best to get her outfit to look as good as it did in the afternoon. Then she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked almost like she did back in the mall. She turned to the door and when she was about to leave, she heard it. A beeping interrupted her happy thoughts. It was Slade. She ran to it and opened it. Slade appeared on the main screen. “Children...”, Red X was in the call too. “Plan A has failed. I am entering Plan B but I need one thing more. I need some things from the Titan’s tower that will help me contain your sister and I need the Tower to be empty in case she decides to attack you”. “I have to tell my friends”, Starfire answered worried. “No, we need to keep your friends out of this, so take them away from the Tower. Your sister has decided to come with me to Earth and I will try to debilitate her with Plan B, so she doesn’t put Earth in danger. But I need you to obey me or else the plan will fail too and then she will invade the Earth with no mercy. Leave the Tower and turn the security system off. We will get to Earth at midnight, be prepared”.

A/N: Chapter 5 is up! This chapter is so soft. I guess you can tell more about Jason in this chapter. I loved writing his struggle with what Starfire makes him want to be, because he also wants it but ugh. I really loved writing StarX. But my favorite part is when she opens up to the Titans about her depression. I loved how united the team was in the animated series, so I wrote it thinking about their unity and how much they cared for each other. Raven doesn’t like when her friends are in pain, so I think she would be so sad to know that Star felt like that and that she didn’t sense it. Also, Cyborh the OG RobStar shipper. 

Chapter 6 spoiler:  “I won’t hurt you”, he would never hurt her if he knew who she was.

#teen titans #robstar #starfire #robin #dickkory #redx #beast boy #cyborg #raven #secretapprentice #robstar fanfic #fanfiction #og teen titans #koriand'r #dick grayson

[the-fiction-witch]

NSFW 100 : Newt

1. What’s the dirtiest thought you’ve ever had about a total stranger?

I don’t think of strangers that much… likely the first time I saw y/n and I kinda went ‘ “dam...boobs!”

2. Do you prefer sex at night, in the morning, mid-afternoon, or NOW?

At night, while the other boys are sleeping even if it means we have to be a little quieter so we don’t wake anyone else

3. What’s your favourite way to be seduced? 

I don’t need seducing just kinda point or poke me

4. What’s the dirtiest fantasy you’ve had at work?

Well… I had one about bending y/n over a planter while everyone was at lunch 

5. How would you dominate your boss sexually if given the chance?

No thank you, Alby or Zart either I would you rather not.

6. What do you do when you get horny in public?

Uhh… Usually take my hoodie off and wrap it around my waist so knowone sees any issues that arise.

7. Have you ever masturbated in a public bathroom?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhh…. No.

okay maybe once… or twice, before y/n became my girlfriend and she walked around the glade in… shorts.

8. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve thought about while touching yourself?

Being chained in the med jacks, with y/n. 

9. What’s the strangest prop you’ve used to get yourself off?

A pole from the gardens, I am not explaining how I used it!

10. Do you remember the first time you felt aroused?

It was once the night y/n arrived in the glade I had never felt about sex before I saw her but most of the day I was taking care of her and the other jobs I had to do so by the time I got back in my hammock I noticed it

11. Who gave you your first orgasm?

Me. 

12. Do you remember what that first orgasm felt like?

Like an explosion of repressed urges and tension. Like when you stretch and crack a bone that's been annoying for like a week.

13. Have you ever had sex with someone whose name you never knew?

Nope.

14. What’s your favourite thing about a quickie?

The sneakiness and the fact everyones happy and satisfied before we run off to do whatever we still have to do

15. What the most sexually daring thing you’ve ever done?

Sex on the watch tower… Im still surprised we did that, and that we didn’t get caught

16. Have you ever fantasized about fucking one of your teachers?

No! Definitely not. Then again I don’t remember them… so maybe I did

17. Do you ever mentally strip strangers just for kicks?

Well… not strangers. Just y/n. 

18. And then imagine, in dirty detail, what it would be like to fuck them?

Maybe, if already honry then yeah but again only y/n and even more once I didn’t have to imagine what she was hiding from me anymore just remember what she looks like without her cute clothes.

19. Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Once. In dares, It was minho… not that bad actually kissing a guy better than I expected.

20. What inspires you to make the first move?

Gally did he told me if I didn't he was going to so I had to so I jumped into action and made her a picnic in the woods and I asked if I could kiss her and she said yes from there we were a couple

21. In your opinion, what does it mean to be good in bed?

It makes your partner happy and satisfied.

22. Have you ever cheated on a boyfriend or girlfriend because you just couldn’t help yourself?

No never! I would never betray y/n

23. Have you ever pushed the boundaries of fidelity to the brink and then retreated just for the rush?

No! Why would I ever want anyone but y/n, plus the only other girl is teresa… she’s nice but not for me she’s attractive sure but i'm not attracted to her plus thomas likes her and I couldn’t do that to him or to y/n

24. Do you have a go-to masturbation fantasy?

Y/n cuddling close in my bed and playing with me instead of my hand 

25. What kind of porn turns you on?

I’m not sure what is classed as porn? Is listening to y/n touch herself through her bedroom wall classed as porn? If so YES!

26. Have you ever had sex with your eyes closed?

A couple times but not on purpose sometimes it's just already dark so I can barely see anyway, or when I shut my eyes because I got a little overwhelmed

27. Have you ever blindfolded or handcuffed your partner?

Well… she kinda blindfolds me sometimes and ties me up to the bed a little

28. Does naughty talk get you aroused?

It does so so much especially if she whispered

29. Are you sure about that, my dirty little forest nymph of a sex goddess?

I am very very sure

30. What’s the dirtiest thing someone’s ever said to you during sex?

Properly “I’m going to cum my dirty little girly”

31. Have you ever watched another couple get it on without them knowing?

By accident yes. Accidently watched minho and thomas having sex in there hammock I didn’t mean to it just kinda happened

32. Have you ever watched another couple have sex with their permission?

No! Because that's creepy

33. How would you respond if a couple approached you to be their “third”?

Uhhhhhh no thank you. 

34. What’s the most flattering thing someone’s said about your naked body?

“Your such a beautiful boy” It still makes me blushy

35. When’s the last time you had a vivid sex dream?

Probably last week, they get worse when I’ve been drinking

36. What do you think an orgy would be like?

Awkward. There are two girls and sixty boys. I don’t think it would go well. I’d rather just nuzzle in y/ns bed with her let everyone else have the orgy

37. Have you ever propositioned a total stranger?

Nope, and I don’t think I’ll ever want to

38. What does your ideal one-night stand look like?

A nice dinner then a snuggle up in y/n’s bed and a sexy night until we cuddle up all night and wake up in the morning. 

39. How long does it take you to get yourself off, on average?

About half an hour depending what is being done to me

40. What’s the weirdest thing that turns you on?

Stroking, stroking hair and stroking skin just the whole thing in general

41. Have you ever had a naughty dream about a close friend or family member?

No! Only ever about y/n

42. Have you ever woken up humping your pillow?

So many times more times then I like to admit mostly before y/n started fooling around with me

43. When’s the last time you orgasmed in your sleep?

Yesterday… y/n was spooning and she kept wiping her butt on me so… I couldn’t help it

44. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you while hooking up?

I may have… cum on y/n’s stomach the first time she let me touch her boobs. That was embarrassing

45. Do you like touching yourself in front of the people you sleep with?

I wouldn’t mind if she wanted me too but I tent to keep it a little bit of a secret that I still touch myself, even if everytime she’s caught me she lets me have sex with her

46. What’s the dirtiest text you’ve ever sent or received?

Y/n sent me a note while I was working that said if I cleaned her room for her she’d suck my dick… needless to say her room was spotless.

47. Do you prefer professional or amateur porn?

Uhhhh I guess watching y/n shower is kinda amateur porn.

48. What’s your favourite blowjob technique?

A Lot of tongue and a lot of sucking

49. If you had to pick, would you be a dominatrix or a submissive?

Submissive… she’s better incharge of me

50. Is there anything you won’t do in bed?

Nothing to do with bodily fluids… just ewwwwww!

51. What’s your dirtiest sexual fantasy? 

Being locked up all day and letting y/n do whatever she wants to me for the whole day

 52. How many people have you slept with? 

One. Just my sweet little y/n

 53. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve had sex?

The pond in the woods.

 54. What’s your favourite part of Y/n’s body? 

Her boobs.. And of course her personality, but definitely boobs

 55. Have you ever had anal sex? 

No!! And I don’t want to try! We don’t have lube in the glade! I don’t wanna try it will hurt somebody

 56. If you could choose what Y/n was wearing right now, what would you choose? 

My hoodie and her little panties or those tiny little shorts

 57. Where on your body is your favourite place to be touched? 

My hips I have a weird fascination with being touched and rubbed on my hips

 58. If you could have sex anywhere in the world, where would it be? 

Somewhere cosy and privet I don’t care where

 59. When did you first had sex? 

After Y/n had been here a year

 60. What’s the best sex you’ve ever had? 

The first time with y/n its the best ever!

 61. What’s your favourite position? 

Being ridden! I love it so much

 62. Have you ever been caught having sex? 

By Zart yes. Twice to be fair we were in the garden shed

 63. Do you watch porn? 

I watch Y/n

 64. What kind of porn do you watch? 

Y/n. I watch Y/n.

 65. How often do you masturbate? 

Twice a day… unless I get some sex

 66. Name a sex position you’d like to try?

Reverse cowgirl! Pleeeease! I wanna try so hard

 67. Do you prefer to give or receive? 

Give! I will give as much as y/n wants me too but if there if an offer to be receiving I will do anything I’m asked

  68. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Yep in the pond in the woods

 69. What’s the most sex you’ve had in a day? 

Twelve on our day off anniversary

 70. Are you loud or quiet during sex? 

Quiet when we are trying to be sneaky but loud when we wanna make the glade here us

 71. Have you ever tried using food during foreplay? 

Never… seems sticky and gross

 72. What’s the first thing that sexually attracts you to someone? 

The personality of course… Boobs help second

 73. Would you say you have any fetishes? 

I like being restrained

 74. When it comes to BDSM, how far have you gone/would go? 

Tieing up, and maybe a little biting but that's about all

 75. What’s your favourite toy? 

Rope.... I like rope a lot

 76. Do you ever read erotic fiction? 

No… but I’m curious

 77. Have you joined the mile high club? 

No But I want to, we have fooled around in the tallest tree we could find but I want more the world will hear us!

 78. Do you think you could take off Y/n underwear with no hands? 

I have… many times. I normally use my mouth 

 79. Would you say you’re kinky? 

Kinda…

 80. Do you enjoy shower sex? 

Yes! I love shower sex! Or shower watching… anything to do with showers I am onboard!

 81. Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever masturbated? 

The Garden shed.

 82. Do you like to be spanked? 

Well… Maybe sometimes. 

 83. Have you ever fantasised about someone else during sex? 

No! Of course not! Why would I want to

 84. If y/n caught you masturbating, would you stop or would you finish? 

I would stop if she wanted too, but normally if I get caught she takes over or finishes me off in another ways

 85. Have you ever had an inappropriate crush? 

Not really, just on y/n 

 86. Have you ever cried or fallen asleep during sex? 

I cried the first time I was so embarrassed I came so early and because of how good it felt inside y/n but only asleep after

  87. Do you prefer eye contact or not during sex? 

I love Eye contact so much it feels so nice when you have eye contact

 88. Do you like to kiss during sex? 

Kisses always 

 89. Do you get tired after sex? 

So sleepy once I’ve cum but that's perfect for cuddles

 90. How many positions do you think you’ve tried? 

Most of them I guess

 91. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sex? 

Other then before I lost my virginity, But once we did it the first time after that I think it was about three days

 92. How high is your sex drive? 

Very very high!

 93. What’s a surefire way to turn you on? 

Ask

 94. Sex with lights on or lights off? 

Candles on...

 95. Do you like dirty talk? 

Very Very Very much!

 96. Do you prefer one night stands or longer-term sexual partners? 

Long term always

 97. Do you prefer to be on top or bottom? 

Bottom!!

 98.Rough or romantic? 

Romantically rough

 99. Quickie or marathon session? 

Marathon all of the day off!

 100. What’s the best thing about our sex life? 

The amazing love of you my beautiful girl. 

[lifblogs]

Livin In You: Chapter 10

Fandom: Supernatural Rating: Explicit Pairing: Destiel Summary: Castiel is a mental health worker who is just fine with the way his life is. The only thing that really bugs him is how much his co-worker, and friend, Meg, mentions Dean Winchester, the most famous rock star in the modern age. Meg drags him to a concert, and he ends up getting tied into the wild and angsty life of Dean Winchester. Suddenly his old life seems boring, but so much calmer. Suddenly, it matters to him that he’s still a virgin. Suddenly, this rock star that he despised the mention of now matters to him. Dean Winchester is a rock star who’s on top of the world when it comes to music. Yet there’s more that he wants. He misses Lisa and Ben, he craves connection, craves being himself. Any hope for that amidst his alcoholic life all changes when Zachariah, the head exec of Heaven’s Records, pairs with a new exec, Michael Edlund -- the Archangel of Music. Under Michael’s dominance, he’s no longer in control of his own life. There are rules. No more sex with fans. No more alcohol. And in Dean’s view, no more god damn free will. Yet he stumbles into Castiel. Chapter Word Count: 2725

READ ON AO3 | READ ON FF.NET

CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2 | CHAPTER 3 | CHAPTER 4 | CHAPTER 5 | CHAPTER 6 | CHAPTER 7 | CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 9

Dean had to get up to throw up once or twice in the night, and between all that, he forgot Castiel existed. Sure, he passed his sleeping form with a head of hair that was black in the darkness on his way to the bathroom. But the other man wasn’t nearly as important as his shaking body, and reeling stomach.

Eventually, some time before five A.M., he managed to fall into sleep that wasn’t restless or broken by the after effects of his drunkenness. By the time he fully woke up, the room was dark, the curtains pulled closed so daylight wouldn’t filter through. Dean knew this kind of dark. It was the dark of waking up late. He supposed he didn’t really care. His head hurt, an incessant ache that wouldn’t leave, and his stomach just felt wrong.

He groaned as he rolled over and cracked an eye open.

A bottle of gatorade was on his nightstand, along with two pills of aspirin lying on a tissue.

Garth. His incredibly friendly and chipper assistant must’ve done this.

Dean sat up, took the medicine and started drinking the gatorade. It wasn’t till he felt well enough to walk out into the main living quarters of the hotel suite that he remembered another person was there.

Really, it was the back of Castiel’s head that gave it away.

Was the dude seriously still sleeping?

Dean shrugged after some consideration. Maybe he’s a third shifter. But what to do with him?

That thought hit him hard, and Dean sat down in a chair across from the part of the couch Castiel was sleeping on, open bottle of half-finished gatorade in his hand.

“Shit.”

He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, or so vehemently. He must have because Castiel started from sleep, and then turned his head this way and that, eyes wild. He backed away from Dean. But then there was recognition, and he relaxed, but didn’t seem at all pleased.

Well, Dean could take people not liking him… he hoped.

Why didn’t Cas like him? He knew he’d asked him, but it just didn’t make any fucking sense.

He was Dean Winchester!

“Mornin’, sunshine,” Dean quipped. “Want me to call Garth and get us some coffee?”

Castiel started righting himself properly, pulling the blanket up into his lap. He ran a hand through his hair, but it was still a mess, and to Dean it looked a lot like sex-hair. God, it looked good on him.

He nodded.

“Yes, I think that will suffice.”

“You got a fancy way of talking.”

Castiel just gave him a look that said… Actually, Dean didn’t really know what it said. In the daylight, Castiel seemed difficult to read. It made Dean uncomfortable. Who was this man?

And what am I going to do with him?

This wasn’t like the other times Dean had brought people back to his room, not just because he hadn’t slept with him — which was super weird in this instance — but because he wasn’t allowed to be here. His presence would surely get sniffed out. Crowley could’ve talked to Clif already. Though Dean figured Clif wasn’t working with his manager behind his back. He was Dean’s bodyguard. So maybe even if Clif had gotten a call, he wouldn’t run to tell mommy about Dean and his new friend.

But how to keep his new friend hidden?

It also meant there was the issue of the car as well. Dean would have some money missing, and there were witnesses.

Hell, witnesses?

What was he even thinking like?

It wasn’t like it was a crime scene. Okay, aside from crashing his car into Castiel’s, it wasn’t a crime scene.

But Zachariah could smell the original sin on an otherwise innocent baby fifteen miles off. Dean was screwed, especially with Michael as the head honcho now.

God damn it!

Dean’s face must have gone through a lot of transformations because Castiel asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Oh? Uh, nothing.” He walked back over to his bedroom to go grab his phone, and before he closed the doors behind him said, “Just uh… just gonna call Garth.”

With the doors closed, he took a deep breath, and then ran a hand through his hair.

This was crazy. Not his usual brand of crazy. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even that bad.

But then Dean remembered a beer bottle getting taken out of his hand, remembered Zach’s stern — maybe even angry — face. He remembered what he’d told him. He owned Dean now.

Dean went to the far wall and groaned, hanging his head against it. Really, he wanted to use it to bang his head, but most doctors wouldn’t advise that as a way to relieve his headache.

Dean straightened, closing his eyes.

Was it worth a shot?

No, definitely not.

So Dean got out his phone, and called Garth. He could do the shouting thing he’d done the night before, but in hindsight that had seemed rude. His drunk self obviously hadn’t cared.

“Morning, Dean Bean! Well, hmm… oh no, it’s not noon yet, but cutting it pretty close there. What’s up?”

“Wondering if you could get me and my friend some coffee. And uh, you were in here earlier, right?”

“Was I?”

“Gatorade, aspirin,” Dean added.

“Oh no, silly, that was your friend there. He was up earlier and asked me to pick those things up for you. He grabbed them at the door, brought them to your room himself.”

That had Dean pause in what he was about to say.

Cas had done that? He’d thought about him?

That started to make Dean feel guilty for practically kidnapping the guy. Or had it been the other way around? He’d been the drunk one after all. Huh, how did that work? There was another emotion there too, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. It was pretty foreign to him, or had been in the couple of years since he’d left Ben. Was it… affection?

No, that would be bullshit. He’d just met the guy last night, and part of him still wanted to sleep with him. This was just a messed up situation.

“Dean-o? De-ean!”

“Hmm, what? Yeah.”

“You all good?”

“Yeah, um… Coffee. You know the regular I like, and for him, just make sure to bring packets of sugar and cream and stuff, I don’t really know what he likes.”

“Okie dokie. See you in ten.”

“Five?”

“Dean, I don’t control the pace at which the world runs.”

“Okay, ten,” he relented. “And, oh, is Sam up?”

“I’m not his assistant too, Dean. 

“Okay, but he’s famous by association. I know you and Clif keep tabs on him when he’s not staying underground.”

“Yes, he’s up.”

“Cool, thanks.”

Despite feeling like shit, Dean took the opportunity of some private time to get dressed. Nothing fancy. For him nothing fancy stil came out to a thousand dollars or more per outfit, but it was just jeans, a black undershirt, a white and blue flannel, and a leather jacket. The boots were nice too. Custom-made combat boots with gold inlays.

“Great, now I feel underdressed,” Castiel said as Dean walked back into the room.

“Uh… I have some jeans,” he told him, plopping down on the couch beside his… whatever he was.

Cas made a face. “Not sure they’d fit.”

Dean smiled, glancing at Cas’ hips and legs. He whacked him playfully on the thigh. “Come on, you should be able to squeeze those into a pair. Not like you’re fat. You’re just…” Dean couldn’t think of the word, and trailed off. Thick, muscular, large, beautiful. Yeah, all of that. Fuck. “Yeah, body’s shaped differently. But come on, I can get my bowlegs into these, you should be fine.”

Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed, brushing Dean’s hand off of his leg.

“Fine.”

“Bottom drawer,” Dean said helpfully as Castiel went into his room.

Part of Dean wanted to follow him, wanted to watch him take off those sweatpants, or maybe even take them off for him. The jeans he was wearing were ripped at the knees, but he figured the skin of his knees would be fine with a bit of friction on the floor. Rugburn didn’t hurt too badly, not as bad as his hand still did. At least he’d somehow managed to get that taped and bandaged up. There was an ace wrap around it as well. So he was still able to function, use it for some things, just not all the sexy things going through his head at the moment.

Dean was drawn from his sensual reverie as there was a knock on the door. He went and answered it, apprehensive, gut twisting.

This was it.

Crowley knew. Zach knew. He was going to lose his dream, everything.

Dean sighed in relief, leaning against the open door when he saw it was just Sam. He was dressed in dress pants, a white button-up shirt, and a tie. His sleeves were rolled up to the elbow. In one hand was a yellow legal pad, a pen pressed between that and the crook of his thumb.

“What, you lawyering today or something?” Dean asked.

“Yes. The contract’s going to be sent over, and we have business to discuss apparently.”

Dean just stared at him, contemplating slamming the door in his face. Reality was not fun right now. He glanced back at his gatorade he’d left on the coffee table. Was there anyone around who could pull a Jesus and turn it into alcohol? Huh, maybe Sam. He had the look, what with the scruff and the hair and all.

Eventually Sam said, “Morning. Or…” He held up his wrist, looking at his watch. “Actually, no. Good afternoon.”

Dean rolled his eyes, and then let Sam in.

“Thanks for coming,” he eventually said, relenting, knowing it wasn’t his brother’s fault that any of this was happening.

But shit, he’d forgotten about the contract.

“You want anything to drink?” Dean asked, playing the gracious host.

“Nah, I’m good.”

Dean settled back down on the couch with his gatorade, and Sam eyed the blanket, taking a seat away from it.

Dean ignored the look, though he surely wanted answers. “So who’s dropping off the contract?”

“Don’t know.”

“When’ll they be here?”

“One.”

Dean sighed at that. Okay, he had some time to get Cas out of his hair.

A drawer slammed shut, and there was some cursing. Sam straightened, looking at the doors to Dean’s bedroom.

“Who else is here?” he asked.

Dean shrugged. “A friend.”

Sam looked at Dean, then back at the doors, then Dean again.

“Is it that guy from last night? Dean, tell me you didn’t.”

“I didn’t.”

Sam’s eyebrows, which had been furrowed with concern, now rose in a disbelieving look.

“He’s getting dressed. You can ask him yourself when he comes out. But” — Dean broke up his speech with a long swallow of gatorade — “I need to get rid of him somehow. Or, I don’t know, hide him. I kinda like having him around.”

“Dean, you’re not supposed to—”

“Like I said, I didn’t.”

“And okay, then what about the issue from last night? What exactly am I risking my license for today?”

“Car accident.”

“Are you serious?!”

That was when Castiel slid open the doors and walked back into the room. Dean noticed that the knuckles of his right hand were red, like they’d gotten slammed in a drawer. That must’ve been what had happened.

“Uh…”

That was Castiel, and Sam was already being business-like, getting up and going over to shake his hand.

“Sam Winchester,” he said. “And you are? I didn’t get your name from Dean yet.”

“Castiel,” he said, and then added, “uh… Novak.”

“So what’s the situation?” Sam asked.

The poor guy looked like a deer caught in headlights, so Dean went over and grabbed him, having him sit beside him. He couldn’t tell if Castiel liked that or not; he seemed neutral about it more than anything. Dean was far from neutral. He’d gotten a good look at Castiel in his jeans, and god, had it been a mistake to tell him he’d fit? He didn’t exactly, but wow, he looked damn good. The material hugged his body, and somewhere in Dean started pulsing as he eyed the unmistakable bulge of his denim-wrapped groin. Dean figured if Cas turned around he’d see the clothing hug his ass too, just like it did in the front and to his thighs.

Dean eyed him even as they sat together. He hadn’t noticed he’d drifted off and started biting on his bottom lip, till he heard Castiel talking about what had happened.

Thank god he was taking the lead. Dean still had a headache.

He zoned out till Garth arrived with the coffee, and as he started back over, Sam reprimanded, “You were supposed to come right back to the hotel.”

“What are you, my babysitter?” he snapped. 

He passed Castiel his coffee and packets of cream and sugar and sat back down. Dean had a sip of his own coffee, and saw Cas start preparing his the way he liked it.

Sam just breathed deeply and gave Dean a sympathetic look. “I’m not trying to hurt you, Dean, or-or… control you like what everyone else wants to do. I just want you to be careful. I know how much your music means to you.”

Dean argued, “Think having my own life is pretty important too.”

“That’s not what—”

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Castiel asked. “What’s happening?”

Sam and Dean immediately shut up, and Dean turned to Cas with big eyes. Shit, he hadn’t meant for any of this to come up around him. They were just supposed to talk about Castiel’s car and the insurance company.

“Not important,” he eventually said.

Castiel didn’t just shrug it off as he expected. Instead, the strange man gave him a look that seemed to say a million things at once: I understand. I’m here if you need to talk. You’re not alone.

Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at that handsome face and into those startlingly blue eyes.

How the hell could he do that?

Sam cleared his throat, and both turned back to him.

“We can discuss it later,” Sam said. “And uh… Castiel, I’m not sure how good of a friend of my brother’s you are. I—”

Cas: “Oh, we just met last night. When he crashed his car into mine.”

Sam gave a tight smile, “Lovely.”

Dean wanted to roll his eyes at the tension he saw in Sam, but he didn’t. His brother was doing a big thing for him. Dean could at least repay him by not being an asshole for a couple of minutes.

The discussion was exhausting, but they eventually got it all sorted out, Sam taking notes on his yellow legal pad, and after a few Sam-dominated phone calls with various people and insurance agents, it was all settled.

And according to his watch it was one P.M.

Fuck.

There was a knock on the door.

Dean’s eyes went wide, and he grabbed Cas in a panic, while another hand reached out for his brother, as if he wanted to grab him to hide behind.

“Shit, shit. Cas, you gotta go.”

“Go where? I can’t leave, unless you have any ideas as to how I could survive the drop from the window.”

Dean got him up, pushing him over to the bedroom. “Bedroom,” he urged. “Stay quiet.”

Sam was going to get the door.

Dean tried sliding the bedroom doors closed, but Castiel held on just before they were about to obscure his face.

“What’s happening?”

“Nothing. Let you out soon, and uh… maybe get in the closet?”

“The closet? Dean!”

Footsteps sounded. Dean closed the doors, and then turned. He fixed his outfit, making it look like he’d just come out of his room from getting dressed and was straightening his clothes.

The man who had arrived was wearing white dress shoes. It was the first thing Dean noticed, and as his gaze traveled upwards, he stopped dead.

“Mr. Edlund.”

The dark-haired man with glimmering blue eyes who held a thick packet of papers smiled. “Please, call me Michael.”

#Supernatural #spn #Destiel #Destiel fanfiction #Destiel au #Supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfiction #rockstar!Dean #mentalhealthworker!Castiel #lawyer!Sam #angst #fanfiction #writing #my writing

[beatriceeagle]

I think my TV meta ask reported an error so I'm going to repeat my questions, feel free to ignore any of them! 1) I love Looking for Alaska the book, and whilst I'm not worried about the TV show as an adaptation, I am worried about it being good... should I watch it? 2) Are you excited for Bojack Season 6? 3) How do you feel about Agents of Shield as a TV show that's constantly changing? I'll never forget their pivot in season 1! 4) SPORTS NIGHT! Why do I love Dan Rydell so much?

I don’t think I could love a meta ask more unless it included Farscape. This is phenomenal.

1

The highlight is that the Looking for Alaska adaptation is good and you should watch it. To get deeper, without getting spoilery, I’ve heard a lot of people say that it improves upon the book, which I don’t exactly agree with. What Looking for Alaska is is a very smart adaptation.

Basically, Looking for Alaska, the book, pulls off a thematic trick using its limited point of view. Miles spends the first two-thirds of the book wildly idealizing Alaska, and often very much in the dark about the exact specifics of her relationship with Jake, but also with Takumi and even the Colonel. Then when the turn comes, that becomes the point: Miles might have loved Alaska, but the Alaska in his head was never the real Alaska, and that means that he can never really understand what happened.

We spend a lot of time hearing Miles’ very precocious, pretentious narration, and also Alaska’s precocious, pretentious dialogue, and a lot of that has seeped into the culture as being the book, as if there’s no deconstruction happening. But there is! Miles is a little bit self-deluding, and Alaska is almost always putting on a front, and neither of their words can ever be fully trusted. This is a book about a guy who never really knew a girl.

The writers of the series, I think, wisely realized that that dynamic was going to be incredibly difficult to replicate on-screen. No matter what they did, viewers were going to get an objective look at Alaska, and the time constraints of television (ironically, the fact that they had to fill out more time) meant that they would have to go outside of Miles’ perspective. So they ditched that idea entirely, and instead dedicated themselves to expanding wherever they possibly could. We get so much more Alaska than the book gives us. She is more real than she possibly could have been in the pages, because we get to see her, not Miles’ view of her. But we also get much, much more of the Colonel, more of Sara, more of Takumi and Lara, more of the Eagle and the Old Man. And it’s wonderful! Some of the show’s most incredible scenes are between characters who are neither Miles nor Alaska.

But it does undercut the theme, somewhat. (Especially when combined with some other adaptation decisions that I won’t get into, because they are spoilery.) Looking for Alaska, the series, gives up some thematic impact in favor of a great deal of character richness, and it’s absolutely the right call for the series, given its format, and given the context in which it was released. But it was a trade, and I think it should be acknowledged.

(The other thing the show does that I think is necessary from an adaptation standpoint, but makes for a kind of weird viewing experience, is that it adds a whole plotline to the middle of the series that doesn’t exist in the book. I do think that this was necessary, because there’s not a lot of structure to the middle of Looking for Alaska, and while that’s fine for a book, a series needs a plot with some kind of forward momentum to hang itself on. But the problem is that the inevitable arc of the book means that this new plotline has nowhere to go, and it ends up just sort of fizzling out, once the book plot takes over.)

Anyway: Looking for Alaska. Very good show, very good music, exceptional performance from Denny Love. Definitely check it out if you loved the book.

2

I am very excited for BoJack season 6! I’m just waiting to watch it with my sister. I have hope that, since this is a planned final season, it’ll give the writers space to move the characters forward, and actually give people like Diane some measure of peace, and people like BoJack some measure of atonement.

3

I think that being the kind of show that was a different show every season was the smartest choice that Agents of SHIELD ever made. (The least smartest choice that Agents of SHIELD ever made was “Fitz and Simmons can never be together for more than six episodes at a time,” even if it has led to several individually successful story arcs.) It makes the show infinitely adaptable, so for instance, if they kill off their lead character thinking that the show is ending, and then suddenly get renewed for two (!!!) more seasons, it’s very easy for them to bring the actor back without walking back the story they’ve told; the show is capable of going to almost any place or time, and pulling on almost any trope of sci-fi or fantasy.

It also makes the show really interesting. One of the problems with season one of Agents of SHIELD was that the MCU is this giant world, full of lots of different settings and genres, and in comparison, AoS felt bland. The genre it was taking on (sci-fi procedural) isn’t inherently boring, but it wasn’t a particularly fresh take on the idea, and the visual trappings of the setting were incredibly sterile. But post-Hydra reveal—and especially post-season four—AoS is like the MCU in a microcosm. It can be anything! It can do a season in the future, a season in space, a season in a computer simulation. It can do pulpy action and messy comedy and gorgeous, lyrical sci-fi.

And also, it manages to do something that’s incredibly difficult (even The Good Place didn’t quite manage to get the hang of it until literally just this last episode) which is to rewrite the characters’ realities over and over without losing track of their character progressions. So, for instance, Fitz has been regular Fitz, and then he’s had his entire reality rewritten by the Framework and become the Doctor, and then he married Jemma and died, and then we reset to cryo!Fitz. And throughout all of that, the show has always been very clear about where the current Fitz is emotionally, and how all of the past and alternate versions of him affect his mental state—but also how he is distinct from any past or alternate versions of himself. And they do this while carrying on actual physical trauma from season 2; if you pay attention, Fitz still briefly loses words when he gets stressed. (As someone who takes a medication that makes me forget words easily, this is my ACTUAL FAVORITE THING on television.) The end result is that you actually know more about Fitz from seeing his reality rewritten so many times—and he still has a coherent character arc.

Of course the downside of this constant shifting is that sometimes AoS will find something that really works for it, and then leave it behind. Like, over the course of seasons three to six, they built up a lot of texture and a deep bench of characters to the space setting, and I would probably say, at this point, that Space AoS is my favorite version of AoS. But the latter half of season six ditched that setting almost entirely, and it’s not clear to what extent we’ll be going back there at all for season seven. Similarly, Fitz’s character arc remains coherent, but I’m not sure the current version of it is my favorite version of it.

But at the end of the day, I think that’s a fair trade for a show that’ll change Daisy’s name halfway through and stick with it, you know?

4

Well, I don’t know why you love Dan Rydell, but after putting a great deal of thought into this over many years, I can tell you why I love Dan Rydell: He is, setting aside some baseline Sorkin patronization, a legitimately great guy, going through a legitimately tough time.

Like, in the grand scheme of things, there are a lot of people who have it a lot worse than Dan Rydell, but one of the cool things about Sports Night is that the narrative is genuinely engaged with that fact: It’s aware of Dan’s privilege, and it makes Dan aware of his privilege, in a way that future Sorkin properties never really manage to do. Think of “The Apology”: “No rich white guy ever got anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks.” Think of Bobbi Bernstein, a woman who Dan calls crazy until she proves that she was right. Think of “The Quality of Mercy at 29K,” an episode that’s basically all about turning Dan’s privilege inside out.

What makes Dan likeable is that the show is aware of his privilege, it points his privilege out to him, and he learns. When Isaac calls him out, he’s immediately contrite. When he sees someone in need in his office, he overcomes his immediate reaction and tries to help. And when he realizes his error with Bobbi, he grants her an immediate, complete, and sincere apology.

The thing is, Dan wants so desperately to be a good guy, and it’s just really hard not to like someone who is trying so hard. He’s incredibly good to his friends, and honestly, I think the turning point is “Mary Pat Shelby.” You give Dan and Natalie’s scene in “Mary Pat Shelby” to a halfway decent actor, and how do you not come out of that scene loving Dan? This incredibly unselfish, incredibly well-pitched moment where, while everyone else is freaking out and trying to get something out of Natalie, Dan just says, “No, I’m not going to tell you what to do, I’m just going to tell you that I am behind you a million percent.” How do you not love that person?

But the other thing is that Josh Charles is not a halfway decent actor, Josh Charles is a phenomenal actor, so actually the turning point isn’t “Mary Pat Shelby.” It’s the speech in “The Apology.” The speech in “The Apology” isn’t  Sorkin’s best writing—“high as a paper kite” is a choice—and honestly, that scene is a lot to ask any actor to take on. Performed competently, it would be kind of embarrassing.

Charles fucking impales himself on that monologue. He leaves blood and guts on the anchor desk. And he somehow does it without overacting? It is a very subtle, precisely-balanced act of self-dismemberment.

What I’m saying is that right from the very beginning, Dan opens himself up to the viewer, and we see all his vulnerabilities, all the ugly, painful pieces of him that make him. And because Charles is a really, really good actor, it’s all very believable, and it’s all very magnetic—you’re drawn to it. And he does it all while being so likeable, and so good.

So of course people love Dan Rydell. He’s generous, he learns and apologizes, he tries incredibly hard, he’s got level 25 charisma, and he’s an open book of emotion—not to the people in his life, but to the viewer.

(Hey, while you’re here, have a link to an amazing Dan Rydell vid!)

Send me meta prompts to distract me from my migraine! (Yes, I still have a migraine.)

#looking for alaska #agents of shield #sports night #dan rydell #aos #mcu #meta #congratulations asker i am now rewatching sports night

[tenacious-scripturient]

a run-down of / my thoughts on the novel ‘trade secrets’

so! i’ve recently finished this beautifully written novel by @bettsican​, and am anxiously anticipating for the second book in the trilogy! (seriously, give it a read. it’s a great lgbtq+ thriller and mystery story, i promise you’ll love it!! you can find trade secrets in many places, including amazon, where it’s only $6)

as i was reading it, i noted down all the thoughts i had. it was fun, interesting, and kept me on the edge of my seat!

oh, and spoiler warning, of course.

Chapter One

okay. this is interesting. why are they in paris? or rather, why are they NOT in paris?

2080. damn.

who is cooper hall and why is he important i want to knowwwwwwww

Chapter Two

HOLY FUCK

CHAPTER ONE WAS A PROLOGUE

OKAY IF I DIDNT NEED TO BEFORE I HAVE TO READ IT NOW

-ahem- anyway

nate literally everything you think of has to relate to smoking, doesnt it?

clyde you absolutely bitch raccoon

im sort of piecing together what’s happening here? either way this is a SUPER interesting concept.

i love the idea of every word being important

nate look at you being a nice guy. testing the CAPS before giving them to ur clients

or maybe it’s just good business

but whatever

okay, so credits are money in this world. but how do people get them? obviously there’s what nate’s doing but what’s the legal way to get them? ill probably find out soon

if it wasnt explicitly said by betty that nate ends up with another guy (i forget his name. cooper?) i would have thought audry was the romantic interest

audry you loving caring hypocrite

i feel like she’s gonna be one of my favourite characters

who is this young man that dares disturb nate’s slumber

cooper? cooper.

Chapter Three

nate get up

u turtle get up and hurry down the stairs

or—okay you can fall into that drywall that works too

ohhhhh so nate is a detective. that’s interesting

i also love this idea of keeping secrets (haha trade secrets)

dude are you sure that your embarrassing entrance wasn’t the ONLY reason you blushed? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE HEIG—

nate ur spending an awful lot of time looking at his features you funky little bisexual

oh damn ur smarter than u seem, just watching him take a single breath and you’re already making connections. i guess that’s why he’s a detective

im gonna assume this is cooper, even tho it never explicitly says so

i feel like we aren’t gonna get his name for a while, bc clients and whatnot and not getting attached

Chapter Four

NATE WEARS GLASSES???????

that’s kind of cute

im lowkey gay rn

anyway

NATE CALLED HIM SWEET-FACED AND PRETTY-FACED O K A Y

oh he has curly brown hair

and oh the glasses aren’t real glasses. oh. the use is actually pretty cool!

so from what im gathering civilians are people who don’t live in sanctuaries, and lemnis are people who do?

cooper sweetie why do u need so much money what have u done

nate’s pretty clever

HAH I WAS RIGHT WE AREN’T GONNA GET HIS NAME FOR A WHILE

well that’s that i guess

Chapter Five

he’s so timid awh

hehe he’s on nate’s bed

sorry

goddammit man calm down or else you’re gonna get everyone in a 5-mile radius around you arrested

wait…. zero-credit balance?? didn’t he just have a few hundred thousand credits???

OH THIS IS A FAKE PROFILE HE MADE

so cooper isn’t his real name either

oh

Chapter Six

oh we’re back to 2080

oh they’re back in the apartment??

it was obvious before but at this point it’s confirmed that they’re going to be doing some travelling together or something

Chapter Seven

this is getting really interesting i dont wanna stop reading and type everything that comes to mind

these are gonna be shorter now hehe

“i’d been a petri dish of mixed emotions and wild chemical changes for half the day” I LOVE THAT METAPHOR LMFAO

what happened with nate’s mom

i want to know

my prediction: she wanted him to either change up or completely remove the chip bc she did something horrible? or maybe she just wanted to leave idk im bad at predictions

either way it said she was crazy

o h

that’s why he’s terrified of cutting the chip

poor nate

Chapter Eight

oh this is strangely intimate

very intimate

i feel that, because cooper has such high pain tolerance (or doesn’t show pain), he has some backstory for it

Chapter Nine

lmao nate just went off didnt he

THEIR FLIRTING IS CUTE FHJKJDLSKAJDKLSJAK

also is being lgbtq+ widely accepted as the norm in this setting? bc nate considered cooper to be flirting with him

ughhhh it’s so good so far, from the character interactions to the suspense, especially in this chapter

Chapter Ten

rude cooper is rude, rude nate is even more rude

F E D O R A

“coop”

Chapter Eleven

aw i love jimmy already—

WHAT THE FUCK COOPER

EXCUSE ME

JIMMY

WHAT

HOW COULD YOU

goddammit

what the fuck is cooper hiding

cooper oh my god

you

you’re playing a dangerous game, mate

are you really that heartless

“deceptively innocent eyes” you got that right

this chapter hurted

thanks a lot jess

Chapter Twelve

“like a weeping wound on the canvas of my home” this has got to be one of my favourite similes ever omg

the way nate’s describing cooper makes my heart hurt awh

i feel like butterflies have some sort of symbolism

maybe being ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside, or vice versa? the vice versa was basically cooper lol

aye we finally get to meet audry!!

PEANUT BUTTER AND TRICYCLE I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THAT

i love audry omg

IT’S NATE’S BIRTHDAY?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY YA SMOKEY CONMAN

“bright eyes” is the cutest nickname ever

Chapter Thirteen

oh we’re back to 2080

wait what they’re trapped together

is this story gonna have a sad ending

please no

Chapter Fourteen

OH IT’S THE LINE ON THE COVER

i like that

nate’s back to where he left cooper

also if it wasn’t obvious before, it’s definitely obvious now that nate and cooper or gonna find each other again. hm. not sure how i feel about that

kind of pissed at cooper but also we need him for the story to progress

O H

COOPER IM ONLY KIND OF PISSED AT YOU NOW

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE

NATE IVE SAID IT BEFORE BUT YOU’RE PRETTY CLEVER

also who is ‘her’?

COOPER WANTS TO BECOME A?? LEMNIS?? GODDAMMIT MAN

I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE RISING

nate’s in danger

wow this chapter is

a lot

i need a break

-cue a break-

Chapter Fifteen

i’m back

eisley is a cool last name

oh wait so even people outside of sanctuaries can become a lemniscate

i’m still not 100% sure what a lemniscate is

it’s so ironic elijah’s last name is king, but i assume you did that on purpose. i also like the slight nod to royalty by his first name

OH

COOPER’S BACK

why hello there

Chapter Sixteen

they’re

competing

to become a lemniscate

and one of them dies

do they fight back?? is that why they end up in prison??? so many thoughts are going through my head right now

nate, your fantasy about becoming a lemniscate is surprisingly dark. i’m totally down for it

Chapter Seventeen

oh wait so joshua is cooper’s blackmailer?? Interesting that it’s a lemniscate

i keep forgetting nate is wearing glasses

cooper, my dude, calm the fuck down. you’re gonna get yourself and nate killed

it’s the return of soft™ nate

Chapter Eighteen

oh there’s another one

oh this is very ominous i don’t like

Chapter Nineteen – Twenty-One

okay i was eating while i read so i couldn’t type here but just know that these chapters were really really good

Chapter Twenty-Two

wait fuck what’s happening this is all happening so fast

cooper brought out his gun,,,, it’s aimed at ivonne,,,,,,, they’re walking,,,

OH IT WAS A FAKE KIDNAPPING

nice

i like ivonne a lot

Chapter Twenty-Three

the entire story just changed course

this isn’t just about cooper and nate anymore, it’s about a corrupt government

NATE AND COOPER ARE HOLDING HANDS AS THEY RUN THROUGH THE BARRIER THAT’S SO ROMANTIC

also the line “only the dead are ever truly free” is beautiful

THAT’S WHERE PARIS COMES IN

THEY ALL GO TO FRANCE DON’T THEY

I’m so curious to find out where this story is going

Chapter Twenty-Four

this is doin me a confusion

but tbh these hints/ visions of the future, if you could call them that, are giving just enough information to keep me super interested. props to you

Chapter Twenty-Five

AUDRY STOP TEASING NATE

just joking keep doing it, this might actually get their relationship somewhere

ivonne is definitely my favourite character so far. she reminds a little of melia from xenoblade chronicles, in that they’re both ‘royalty’ that rebel. also they’re badass and smart

oh fuck the brother is here

okay thank god he’s not an asshole

oh god things are happening again

Chapter Twenty-Six

nate stop ogling at cooper when you’re in a life-or-death situation

holy shit the lemniscate are messed up

this crew is pretty great, it sucks that it’s almost the end of the book

WAIT I FORGOT THERE’S A SECOND COMING SOON HECK YEAH

anyway

YES COOPER PULL THROUGH

awwww yiss

Chapter Twenty-Seven

oh

oh

O H

oh my god i ship them so hard

THEY KISSED

THIS IS SO STEAMY

this chapter was art thank you so much for this

Chapter Twenty-Eight

AHAHAH AUDRY

once again, i’d like to state how much i love her

oh the tension just grew twentyfold

this is… great

oh god nate what are you planning, you just got together with cooper and now you want to leave him?

Chapter Twenty-Nine

what’s with all the dancing?

Chapter Thirty

oh god the description

so he’s going around and giving people credits, all the while confessing things that would help the lemniscate track him down. i assume this means he’s going to die, but why?

just what are you planning?

oh we’re back to clyde, the guy who started it all. it feels full circle

Chapter Thirty-One

OH

HE’S MAKING HIS CHIP SHOW THAT HE’S DEAD

that’s much smarter

FUCK

NATE YOU IDIOT—COOPER’S REAL NAME

SHIT NOW KING IS HERE

everything’s going downhill now isn’t it

Chapter Thirty-Two

wait that took an even darker turn

there’s so much happening right now i can’thandlethis

cooper and nate are couple goals

Chapter Thirty-Three

king isn’t as horrible as i thought

still horrible, but not a monster

NEVER MIND YOU’RE A FUCKING MONSTER WHAT IS THIS BS

cooper

actually

shot

nate

Chapter Thirty-Four

OH MY GOD

WHAT

THIS IS HOW YOU END IT

I CAN’T

HOW DARE YOU

NO

NO

NO

NO

i need the next book

like right now

what the hell

Final Thoughts

okay so this book was SO good, and so well written. like damn

aside from that horrible ending how could you do this to me

i’m joking, it was an incredible and emotional ending, i loved it and hated it at the same time

it very rarely felt static, and especially in the first half, there was a good mix of action and backstory/description. it was never boring

the story is just,,, so unique. i seriously haven’t read anything like it, EVER

the world-building?? Is?? so vast?? and insane??

the increasing tension and speed as the story progressed is perfect, i felt my heart beating faster the more i read

anyway that’s all from me

this book was amazing i cannot wait for the next

#writeblr #other writeblrs #trade secrets #phahbiyah speaks

[alliebruns-blog]

Races, Recces and Adventures for 2019

First off SORRY FOR NOT DOING BLOGS (to the 3 people that read them)

2019 has already been quite the year. Let’s get the excuses in, shall we? I have finally moved out of London to lovely sleepy Somerset – home of the Mendips, hills and lots of cows. The running here is ace and I feel like I have finally shaken off the horror of 23 years in London. But it’s a big change – the first month I felt like I was on a different planet – then I had to find work (you know that thing that actually pays you?) So I took a step back from internets for a bit. 

Another reason for lack of bloggage. It seems I have been writing them for everyone else but me this year. For some reason my inbox went a bit mad and I’ve been asked to write pieces, blogs and interviews for a Bulgarian Travel and Adventure Magazine (apparently I am going to be on the cover?!), Run Deep, Precision Hydration, Lessons in Badassery, Dure, Red Bull and Trail Running Magazine. Plus, I have to do my day job. And look after 4 dogs. And a 9 year-old (not mine but sort of is mine now….) and a man human. Jokes. He’s looking after me. 

 So what’s been going on? EVERYTHING HAS. 2019 started with BBR trotting over the The National Running Show in Birmingham where we had a stand and I gave a couple of talks. I was I the throws of a horrendous depressive episode and had to attempt to put a face on. I still wasn’t over Panama really. I think it took me about 3 months to get over it in the end. I had to do a talk on a panel about mental health and running (oh the irony) and then my own talk about running across deserts, jungles and that.

It was very difficult attempting to inspire people when I actually felt like a piece of shit. The show itself was ace and weirdly we have been asked to come back – but more on that a bit later.

I got out in January and February to do a couple of reccees for White Star Running. The weather was JOKES bad. 60mph winds and rain made for a very interesting trot along the coast.

We were checking the route for Septembers Run Jurassic races which are going to be amazing. Have a look at what’s on offer here - and rest assured that it shouldn’t be weather like this on the day…..

Then came the first race of the year - Larmer Tree Marathon in Dorset. Lest gusty with 40-50 mph winds making for another interesting run, and it was also Pickle the ultra dogs first official marathon – she loved it. Look at her little face! 

Then it was off to Bulgaria to do some talking about running. Myself and David from the Bad Boy Running Podcast were asked to go and do a talk at a running expo they had there and it was MEGA fun – defo returning nest year to do the 100KM ultra they are organising – it’s BEAUTIFUL in Sofia.

Back home and it was off to Rat Race’s Ultra Tour of Arran for the second year. 62 miles over 2 days with “some” elevation (A LOT) and some demons to slay. As you know I did NOT enjoy this last year - my fear of heights and ledges almost got the better of me, but this year was different. We had about 10 Do-Badders with us and some of them were first time ultra runners, so I felt a bit like I had a duty of care to them.

As part of my role with Rat Race, I did a little talk to people about the Bucket List which was great and I managed to get round the course with the whole squad without crying. Only issue was I ended up with an eye infection that meant I couldn’t wear my contacts. This is not recommended on mountainous trails. I fell over 3 times - my knee looked like someone had gone at it with a rifle. It really knocked my confidence for trails and I have been super careful ever since. I really hate falling over.  

Arran was beautiful and epic as always. I cannot recommend this race enough. Its otherworldly out there. Here are some pictures – the weather was so kind to us. If you get booking it now it’s pretty cheap – or even better register for a rat race season ticket and it sort of pays for itself! 

Next up was London marathon. It was my sixth year and I wasn’t looking forward to it having only just really moved away. I used to love this race, but I had done so little in the form of road running I was dreading it a bit. So I decided to spice it up by running it in reverse to the start and then running it the right way round.I need some night running experience for later I the year so why not?  I also wanted to raise money for my old friend Scott who we lost to suicide last year. If you want to give a few quid, the charity has been set up now and you can find it here.

We got up at 12am after 3 hours sleep and got our stuff together – we were running with a couple of friends starting at Birdcage walk. We decided on a 5-6 hour time as I had the real thing later on, and this was a training run ultimately. That didn’t go to plan and we ended up smashing out 20 miles in about 3 hours – meaning as we came into Greenwich everything was shut. ARGH! I need coffee! I’ve never waited for a Macdonalds to open, but that day I did! We decided to march out the last 6 miles as we had the time and my legs were already staging a protest about the relentless road pounding they were getting. Once we reached the start we headed over to a hotel on Blackheath where my amazing friend and Head of Crew™ was staying.

We had the BEST BREAKFAST EVER and got I got changed into fresh kit and then it was time to do it all over again. I forgot how much waiting about there was at London. I think I stood in the pen for about an hour, little legs seizing up, feeling cold for once. London is usually boiling. I took a minute to look around at the people running. Lots of them were doing their first and only marathon. Some of them made me want to cry. I saw a guy dressed in a bin bag looking nervous, fiddling with his headphones. He has  a message scrawled on his arm in sharpie – obviously written buy one of his kids. It said “I love you daddy and I am proud of you”. He kept looking at it. It made me want to cry. Sometimes humans can be wonderful. I bumped into the legend that is Anna Mcnuff in my start pen. She wasn’t wearing any shoes. Brilliant. She’s running the length of Britain barefoot so was a training run. I had SO MANY QUESTIONS but she seemed very cool about the whole thing. She really is relentlessly cheerful, that woman. 

 Then we were off. I felt pretty good considering the fact I had already done it once that day. As always there were huge crowds and bottlenecks and I was running a lot faster than I had done in a while. You can’t help it at London. You kind of get swept along. I was very wary of eating and drinking – I hadn’t eaten much during the night run and I am used to picnics on ultras now. I tried to take it easy but it felt easier to run at pace so I did what felt good. For once I wasn’t wearing a pack and it’s amazing how much that frees you to go a bit faster. I was relying on the water stops for all my hydration and that worked. 

One of the things I really noticed about the marathon this year is the aggro. I am so used to the chilled nature of trail runners that I totally forgot about what happened in New York. Road runners can be total arseholes. There were points when I ran over to the water station, signalling I was doing so, only to be physically bashed on the shoulder by other runners and told to “move out of the fucking way”. When I take water I tend to slow down, walk at pace, finish the water and then run on. It’s pretty obvious. I walk close to the edge so people can pass me. I’m sorry but people need to have a bit more patience. Fucking idiots. ANYWAY I managed to finish in a pretty OK 4 hours 10 mins. Getting out of the mental finish area was awful as always, and I had to meet up with a couple of people because my personal hell wasn’t ending there. I had signed up to help out on a Rat Race private event for the next two days and needed to get to Richmond to drive up to Cirencester. No boozy celebrations for me! So off I went to work with 300 bankers who were out on a jolly for 3 days running, cycling and kayaking 165 miles along the Thames. Wednesday came and I had never been happier to see my bed! 

Turns out road running smashed your body up a lot – especially 53 odd miles of it. My back was killing me, my legs hurt. So I did something I am not very good at – I had a bit or a rest. A few days off, runs at the weekend, went to physio. And then, two weeks later, it was time for The Ox Epic.

This is one of my favourite races of the year. Set on the Rushmore Estate in Wiltshire, its a whole weekend of camping and running courtesy of White Star Running. You can choose what race you do. Theres a 10km in the dark, a 10km in the morning, a half marathon and a 50 miler. So what did I choose? I CHOSE THEM ALL. Last year I managed to accidentally win the Epic - this year was a different story. This was a training run for something much bigger.

Once again White Star pulled it out the bag - a beautiful weekend and everything went like clockwork for me and him indoors, despite the fact we had all four dogs on site plus a 9 year old to look after. I managed to keep the same pace for all the races and not feel broken, plus I had a really nice weekend! We ran some laps with the dogs, some without, took out time at the aid stations, walked the hills and ran the flats. All in, we managed to get 76 miles in the bag over the weekend and finished knowing that we could do more. It was a chance to practice fuelling and hydration and catch up with old and new pals. Highly recommended and I will definitely be back next year - perhaps with my eyes on the prize again.

Pretty much everything that I have done in the first part of this year has been pointing towards my one A game race of the year which is happening this weekend (18-19 May). The Climb South West Devon Coast to Coast Ultra. I signed up last year on a whim. It’s 117 miles from the south coast to the north coast of Devon non-stop. This is the furthest I have run without a break, so it really is a huge deal to me to get through it. We’ve been out and about doing a couple of back to back weekend recees to see what the route is like. It’s self nav and we will run a lot of it in the dark. It runs along the Two Moors Way, across Dartmoor and Exmoor, through some horrendous terrain. There are a lot of muddy bridleways, fields and hardly any markings.

Elevation is mental – it literally feels like your going up hill all the time. It’s a really important race for me because it’s one I am not sure I can do. I have a plan A. B. C and D in place but I can’t see myself finishing in under 39 hours. Will I finish at all? Dunno. Stay tuned I guess….

So yeah, a lot has gone on so far this year, and there are some awesome plans in the pipeline for the rest of the year. 

Adventure time! AGAIN! 

I am resurrecting my position as Rat Race Test Pilot for 2019-2020 and doing 4 big recees this year, as well as pretty much all the events.  

June sees me travel to Spain for the Sea to Summit test pilot outing. The highest mountain in mainland Spain is 80km from the coast. Our route connects a start line on a beautiful beach on the Costa Tropical to the summit of Mulhacen (3482m) via a tough 2 day running route, giving 2 marathons back to back and nearly 4000m vertical height gain. No biggie. Plus it’s going to be BOILING and we start at 2am to try and avoid the sun. This is Ben Nevis twice in a day. Fun. 

August sees me trotting off to Malta for The Maltese Falcom. There are 3 islands that make up Malta. This ia a full traverse of the island chain. 3 disciplines. Run across Gozo. Kayak to Comino. Swim from Comino to Malta. Run across Malta. Hot. Historic. Warm sea. An island totally geared up for Endurance sport.  And all in one day. Another world first. 

In September I am off to Scotland to do something I have always dreamt off. A full coast to coast traverse of Scotland on foot. This is a west-coast-to-east-coast outing, n foot, over 6 days. The difference here is that Rat Race have devised a route that encompasses crossings of water and the use of some rivers and lochs, for which we will carry and use pack-rafts. This very unique route means we will hike or run, get to a body of water, use the raft to cross it or traverse it and then carry on by foot. An insane format in a simply stunning setting and incredibly remote area. The route goes from a starting location at Mallaig to finish just north of Inverness. This is the wildest country in the British Isles. We will be vehicle supported for some of the outing; and then self-contained (pack on back) for a significant portion of the rest. Almost 100% off-road. And in September. Be kind, weather! 

October I will return to Scotland for a multi day traverse of the Outer Hebrides. Another dream event. It is around 150 miles from the bottom to top of this rugged island archipelago off the West Coast of Scotland. We will attempt this journey over 6 days. We’ve not quite worked out the logistics on this (have I not learnt anything from Panama??) But I am SO EXCITED TO DO IT! 

In November I am travelling back to Namibia to crew for the Race to the Wreck event. That means I get to see the beauty of the desrt from the crew vehicle with a bit of running, but most importantly, it means I get to encourage, help and inspire people to complete the crossing. I would like to thank Rat Race for constantly believing me and allowing me to do these awesome things. I am one lucky piglet.  

Also here’s a thing – if you fancy joining me on any of these funtime recees then you can – just drop me an email here for more details. 

I am also doing a few other things in between mega adventures to keep up the training and fly the flag for Rat Race and White Star. There’s the Dorset Invader Marathon, the Man Vs Series, the Run Jurassic Series, Ultra Tour of Edinburgh, not to mention my first Threshold event at Race To the King. Basically it’s BUSY. But I am happy. And that’s the most important thing. 

Finally – big announcement – Bad Boy Running are thrilled to have been asked to curate a new section at The National Running Show 2020. We have been given the honour of curating the Ultra Zone – a brand new zone that focuses completely on Ultras. We have our own stage, our own guests and our own talks and panels, We are in charge. We will be announcing out line up in the next month or so but if I were you I would get your tickets NOW because you DO NOT want to miss this. You can get your free ones here using my code AMB18. We have some of the biggest names in Ultra running confirmed and it’s going to be mega. You can register for your free ticket here. Massive thank to Mike for believing in us (and trusting us – he may regret this….)

I’m also going to try and bet better at this blogging thing – I have a lot to write about so not short on material – it’s just the time. Having said that I am happy to write for anyone else that fancies it. Just drop me a line and I will take a look at it. So yeah. That’s it. Whirlwind update done. See you next week. If I survive.

[tk-observer]

Scandinavia + Netherlands

It’s been two years since I wrote in here! Gasp!! There’s been one more trip to Japan in that time with Joanna too!

Anyway, before I get too caught up in that—this year’s trip!

Copenhagen!

WAS A BEAUTIFUL BIKING UTOPIA. I loved biking there so much! Even though it was cold and around like 6–10°C the entire time, the city was so flat and the bike lines so well thought out. We never got close to hitting anyone or in the way of anything. Even when we were confused, the bike lanes were made such that you couldn’t cross traffic and get in the way if you stayed in the lines.

We ate so many pastries. I also ate the world’s most beautiful chocolate croissant at Andersen & Maillard. Ugh, it was so beautiful. That cafe was so beautiful.

Lydia and I stayed in Nørrebro, the cutest little neighborhood. We also got to enjoy someone’s tiny apartment, which they shared with a kid?? We don’t know. We had two theories going:

1. They have a baby that comes to visit often, or 2. They’re moving out of the apartment.

Because the apartment was smaller than my studio, and they had maybe 1/3 of the things that I own. Just wow. Really makes you re-evaluate the amount of stuff you have…

Anyway, we biked around, visited Assisten’s Cemetery, which apparently is a place people go to hang out in during the summer. Half of it is public, with grave sites from like the 1800s or something like that, the other half is an active graveyard, where there are memorial services. We visited Hans Christian Anderson’s grave and Niels Bohr’s grave. Niels Bohr!!

Went to Nyhavn, visited the beauuuuuuuuuuutiful public library, went to the royal Danish museum which had a cool exhibit on what “modern” life is like in Denmark now with submissions that were voted on by the museum’s FB group. Also a surprise Pika Pika booth. Visited Christiania in the dark, the time when people are there to actually buy drugs instead of be tourists, Lydia biked with a flat for like four miles (two different bikes!). Food hall was amazing, went to a Zara home I think (dat Scandinavian design tho). Also walking around the Halloween themed Tivoli Gardens at night!! They had all these cute kiosks where people were selling their wares and glögg.

Also randomly while walking around Kastellet after visiting the Little Mermaid statue, we stumbled on a drum core practicing. Copenhagen is really beautiful, especially with all the fall leaves changing colors.

I think my favorite part has to be coming home and watching Pitbulls and Parolees on our AirBnB’s TV. That and Say Yes to the Dress which I surprisingly love to watch. 

Amsterdam!

Was warmer! But there was a mix up at our Hotel Not Hotel which was a little annoying, but still kinda cool. It’s a very gimicky kind of hotel. Our room door was a bookcase. One thing I like nightmare dreamed about was a fire and then for the rest of the time I was worried that firemen wouldn’t be able to find our room if they needed to… Well, there was no fire.

The canals did make it difficult to navigate since the city was shaped in concentric rings. Also, when you were around the neighborhood that was known for selling weed, you would just smell it everywhere. I don’t smoke bc I am small and I don’t like the way it makes me feel, and I really don’t like the smell. @___@

We had dutch pancakes, ate a lot of pasta, discovered Yogurt Barn which was SO GOOD. Biked some more, but in Amsterdam it’s a bit more chaotic. The bike lanes are clearly marked, but that’s kind of it. They cross each other a lot more, so it’s easier to get startled. Also on the smaller streets along the canals, it’s not clear who has right of way, so a few times there was a car coming from my left or right where I did not know if they were going to stop or if I should stop or what.

Visited the cat boat!! Walked through the Bloemmarket, also went to this BEAUTIFUL, fancy restaurant called De Kas. It’s a greenhouse in the middle of a big park, so it’s just magical because you can see all the park around you outside. Also the food was so good. It’s a set course, but my favorite was the salad. They served it with a raw egg yolk, and I don’t know where that egg came from, but it is the best egg yolk I have ever had.

Museum of the canals was super cool! A great little museum executed really well, had tons of cute stop-motion animations to illustrate how the city was built (they put logs in the ground! Just tons of logs that they imported from Scandinavia), and this dollhouse which was my favorite. One of the rooms of the dollhouse you could look into was the room where the dollhouse was. So meta.

Anne Frank house, jeez man. I don’t think I’ve read the book, so I bought it, and I’m going slowly through it.

Moco museum, a modern gallery kinda deal. Lots of Bansky which eh, I’m never really into since I can’t shake the feeling that he’s kind of arrogant, but the Icy and Sot exhibit was so good. I bought their book even though it only goes up to 2016 and doesn’t have their environmental pieces, which I think are amazing. 

Tea at the smallest house in Amsterdam! IT’S SO FUCKING CUTE. Also our host was a surprise historian! He taught us about the history of the house and was a great local host. He told us about how his family was like the fourth/fifth? people to own the home since it was built. Also a proper tea house since it seems that Scandinavia and Netherlands is really into coffee over tea.

Stockholm!

I think this is the point where we were kinda tired from going out all the time. Stockholm again was way colder and even the city bikes were taken in for the season. We took a lot of busses which were expensive (~$5 for a one-way ticket for 75 mins), but the central bus station. THE CENTRAL BUS STATION. Was so gorgeous. It looked kinda like ancient greek pottery.

Stockholm is gooooorgeous. It’s the in-between of the two cities to me. I think Amsterdam was old smashed with new, Copenhagen was mostly old, but Stockholm was like modern old. It didn’t have as many narrow buildings, and way more cobblestones streets and hills. I think biking there regularly would be more difficult. But also, Stockholm is a archipelago city, spread out over small islands. The water’s never far.

Fika everywhere! Unguarded coffee!

We ate Swedish meatballs, walked around the super cute neighborhoods Södermalm and Ostermalm (I think), visited the ABBA museum which was really fun, and the Vasa Museum, which has a 17th century ship preserved from the sea. Like they literally dragged the whole thing out of the ocean and restored it. It’s crazy.

It was also at this time that I discovered that season 2 of Castlevania came out so I ended up watching it with Lydia since she was interested despite all the gore and violence. Season 2 had much more plot going on, way more people, but the animation was kinda stilted. Since it had 8 episodes, it felt like they saved up all the budget for the fight scenes, which were still really good, but I like my dialogue scenes with more than just shots of people eyes. Also, plot was a bit more messy (poor Godbran!). Still, fun to watch! It was interesting to see more of Dracula’s perspective in this one since he was missing the entire first season. I’m really glad they didn’t skimp out on the background artists though. They were A+.

Went to IKEA on the free IKEA bus from central station, which was soooo much fun ahahha. Ate at the nice restaurant (more meatballs!) there and then just walked around. I don’t think we even bought anything, just had fun sitting on things and looking at all the cute children’s furniture and toys. It was so big. So, so big.

And then home!!

I’m so jetlagged rn. It’s like 2000 but it feels like 0200. Waiting on my last laundry load, and then I’m going to SLEEP

#2018 #copenhagen #amsterdam #stockholm

[minamiaurora]

How blind I was

This is for @lifelovelaughangell123  ‘s “high school musical spn challenge”

I had the line  39 “he’s gonna figure out the right thing to do”

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Words count: nearly 3600

Warnings: I don’t know... swearing and injuries, mention of dead people, nightmares, e.c.t. All the nice things found in the supernatural world. 

And if it needs a warning: it's my first time writing and I had no beta reader so all the little faults are mine and if you find any, please just ignore them.

Disclaimer: nothing of Supernatural is mine and I don’t make any money with it. Just having fun with it

Since two and a half hours I drove now trough that big creepy forest that surrounds the small one-horse-town in which I had to be since yesterday evening, after getting a very low-quality phone call from my good old friend Sam Winchester asking me for "a little" favor. He and his brother Dean needed help on a hunt. I rarely understood the town's name where they currently stayed and after a few "What? what di.. ..ou s..y?" s when he tried to explain their case, I decided to just go and help out. I was only a few hours drive away and had no case myself at the time. Besides, it wasn't the first time I helped them. Honestly, sometimes it helps to have tits. The road through the forest was narrow but not in a too bad condition, but that didn't help at all to ease my trip. The mist in the early mornings made it nearly impossible to see anything further than the windscreen of the car. So I was more guessing than seeing where the street is. And the fact that I know what creatures can hide in the dark foggy forest didn't let me feel any safer. Yes, I am a hunter and guess what I still do not like to be in dark forests. especially at night. and when they're covered in fog. So when, with the rising sun, the town finally appears between the trees, I breathed in relief and speed up a little bit thanks to the now lifting fog. I check the name of the Motel Sam texted me and see to my surprise that I have a perfectly fine signal. As I pull in the parking lot I wonder for my self if all these run down motels did only survive because of all the hunters operating in the shadows of the community trying to save the world, risking and losing their life without the majority even knowing about them. Kinda like the M.I.B. I swing the door of the room open, who was like the exterior of the building built and decorated in the late 70s and never changed or renovated since because grand- grand mom liked it that way. A smell like old wet socks and towels which took a nice hot long soaking bath together in a pool filled with used condoms and cigarettes waved directly into my nose. "NOPE!" I harshly close the door again. //I definitely NOT gonna spend one second in that room// "you shouldn't. Not even Dean and Sam were taking that room. and they're not exactly picky when it comes to the choosing of a sleeping place." I turn around when I hear the low voice of the angel who stole my heart many moons ago.h Of course, no one on the team knows about that. I even managed to keep my thoughts away from him if he's around. And acted like a more or less grown-up person. It's after all only a little crush. And it's not like it grows for almost 2 and a half year. It happened slowly. I blamed it on the circumstances of our first meeting. He made his appearance into my life by actually save it from a nasty vamp. After a few nice night talks we had, (because like most in that business my time in dreamland is normally not pleasant. So I try to avoid it or knock me out.) I got scared by how deep in I was already. How much I could relax and open myself to someone. Even if I consider all of them family, not once have I ever spoken to Sam or Dean about the exact way my blood family died. Only with Castiel, I did. Ok, I was drunk as a lord after the last hunt with the infamous trio, but I told him under tears and hiccups how it happened. But for the first time in my life, I spoke about it and of what I can remember it felt really good. Next, I tried to blame his vessel. Why must it be such a good looking one? Special that /your favorite body of Castiel/ of it. His casual nearly submissive, kind being that changes in a split second into the warrior of the lord he is. The way he's sometimes just staring at one with that hypnotic blue eyes (the bluest blue on earth, heaven and hell I am sure of that). I get lost so deep in them happily every time I look at them. And his lips. when they move like they do now, how...// shiiit. He speaks to me. Fokus y/n Fokus!// ".. and she didn't hear a word you just said, Cas. Hy Kiddo" Dean walked around Castiel to greet me with a bearhug. "where were you now?" "..furniture? I.. I.." I tried to get my self together without getting the guilty as hell look. " I just wondered if all the Motels are getting their furniture from the same place. it seems to be all over the same. and it's always ugly." Now the sweet innocent eyes aaaand he smiles, ruffle my hair like he always does and walks past me direction his and Sams room. I turn back to Castiel to ask what he told me before Dean came by. His bewildered face lets me realize that I was not only rude towards him with not listening but I forgot for that second that he is able... "...to read your mind. Yes." My mouth open and close like a fish and my skin color is changing to 'i wanna die right here, right now' red. where are all these monsters who wanna always kill us now? Cas looks at me with his innocent tilted head and I guess his waiting for me to say or do something. "Igonnagetmeanotherroom" I rip the key out of the door, grab my bag and flee to the reception. //I better gonna get me another room in another motel. or even better on another continent. Yep. Or I go ask the guys for a shovel so I can go and dig my grave. If it starts like that I gonna end up shooting myself just to escape from an awkward situation // After I got me a new, and more or less clean, room I go to the guys to finally find out what we gonna hunt. Sam opens the door and pulls me in the room with the same kind of bearhug his brother did he then hold me on arm length. "What took you so long shorty? I nearly called the cops to search you" "I had a flat tire." while he and the reason why my eyes are glued to the floor are just raising an eyebrow, Dean shouts for the bathroom  "and it took you 6 hours to fix it?" He walks in the room with his F.B.I. suite, take one Look at my turn to Sam with a devilish grin and hold his hand out." you owe me 20 bugs. She took at least two wrong turns." I stand between them finally looking up to protest. I really had a flat. but it took me like 20 min to change it.  and I went only once right instead of left. but even with the wrong turn I took, I still could have made it bevor midnight. Why was I only here in the mornings? Forest. At Night. I sat in my fucking car and tried to get myself to press the petrol instead of the breaks I was pressing like I wanted to push my foot through the car at the beginning of my nemesis. If someone would have passed me there they would be for sure concerned seeing me in my car screaming at myself to stop my shit and get it the fuck together. I was turning my car and drove several miles back and tried it again. long story short, it was first after like two hours I was able to drive trough. I maybe need a new steering wheel but I made it. no need for them to know. after all, till now we only hunted urban together. I realize I spaced out again and were now staring at Cas. I really need to work on that. "How you keep yourself alive with what we do; I think not even God knows. But I see we have you back now. so how much experience do you have with wendigos?" Dean asks while he was putting on his blazer ready to go and play agent I think. Sam goes to sit at the table and opens his Laptop to show me what they had till now. "I had till now one. And avoid them since." My voice is trembling and my hands start to sweat. I showed the pictures that want to show up in my mind far to the back of it.   "you think you can handle one, y/n?" the older Winchester brother asks with worrying in his tone seeing me getting paler and paler. "Yes... Yes of course. I mean what could probably go wrong when I`m together with you guys?" Apparently... A lot. Not only are Sam, Dean and I hanging around (literally) in a Wendigos cave since midnight; now I had to give them the whole story of my family getting wiped out by a wendigo when I was a teenager. Because even if I grow up in a hunter family, the fear paralyzed me the moment I heard the screaming of the creature. And since I should have been the boys back up and failed completely at it it is my fault we are gonna end up as the savings for harder days of a Wendigo and I owe them more than an explanation why I couldn't do my fucking job. " and that's why avoid forests. and wendigos. And that's as well the reason why I was only yesterday morning at you guys." I hang my head in shame. It's quiet. Except for the dripping of water from the walls and the blood of the other two victims of which the wendigo already had taken a bite or two. why are they not saying anything? Are they unconscious? "You know y/n, that was a real dick move. If we would have known that before we would never have ask you for help in that case. Everyone is afraid of something. that is only human, man. But to keep such important pieces of information to yourself is a fucking stupid way to end your life and the ones of the people around you. And if we hadn't Cas to get our asses out I would really kick yours. Ok, I still gonna kick it. To teach you a lesson. " Dean finally answers weakly. "And the drinks after we're out are gonna be on you."Sam goes on. "Sounds fair to me." And like he was waiting for his signal Castiel make his appearance in the cave. He is, all of a sudden,  standing in front of me. Looking concerned over Dean and Sam to check their condition. While the Guys had some severe injuries (nothing he couldn't fix luckily) from fighting back the Wendigo, I only had a small head wound on my left temple from getting knock out, head first, against a tree. When he "scanned" the Winchester the look in his eyes turned quickly relaxed. Like he is used to seeing them in such a condition. What he probably is. Then his attention turns to me. As soon as he sees the thin blood trail that emerges from my temple all the way down till my knee, remember that whole warrior of the lord thing I was speaking before? Well, that was his gentle look, compared to the expression that I see now. It is there only for a fraction of a split-second but boy oh boy I am sure as hell glad he's on my side. His pupils are nearly non- existing. the normally warm summer day sky blue iris turns in an ice blue that is able to freeze alcohol. then there is guilt. But before somebody can do or say anything he spins around and cut the Wendigo that had sneaked on us in four parts. Like that wasn't enough he kicked the one part of it through the cave. When he's aiming for another body piece Dean brings him back. "Cas! Buddy, he's done! So what about you get us three down here and we fuck off?" and like a light switch the usual Castiel was back. Momentary at least. He cuts our ropes that hang us from the cave top and heals us. Then with a last, for me, not readable look at me, his gone again. The drive back to the motel is filled with, at least for me, uncomfortable silence in the morning sun until Sam turns in his seat. "Ok. whats going on between Cas and you?" "Nothing! Really. I mean I have no idea what you talking about." Shit. It is easier to fool Dean than Sam. "You guys know him longer than me. You tell me whats going on with Castiel." and even if I try my best I can't stop my voice from completely betraying me by getting higher with every damn word.  Deans loud laugh let both, Sam and me, turn our heads towards him to raise an eyebrow when he states that everything finally makes sense. Luckily we're just back at our accommodation. I rush out of the Impala and with a quick "see ya in an hour" I storm to my room and loke the door. "So you say that both of them have a crush on each other but y/n don't know how Cas is feeling?" Sam smiles from his seat back in their Motel room, because for him all your strange behavior when the angel was around now made total sense. Then he frowns "And what are we gonna do about that? I mean obviously, none of them will make a move because shorty is as oblivious as can be, and with Cas being an angel is not gonna make it any easier for them." "yeah 'know what you mean man. But I gonna speak with Cas and I think he's gonna figure out the right thing to do for them and their position. And if not we gonna kick them in the right direction. so easy." Sam raises an eyebrow at Deans "easy" idea. he gets up from the uncomfortable seat to take a shower before they all go for breakfast. He hears Dean "pray" for the angel before he opens the shower. when he comes out Cas is nowhere, but Deans grin tells him all he needs to know. this is gonna be very interesting. "WORST hunt ever!" I scream in my pillow after I let myself fall on the bed. I turn to lay on my back and just stare at that ugly ceiling. My had is empty. But not for long. Soon pictures of how the Winchesters were dragged into the cave flicker in mind. They could have been dead. Because of me. Because of my stupid pride. because of my stupid lies. //, Of course, can I handle a Wendigo Dean. It's not like I still wake up every night screaming and trying to run from the dead empty eyes of my little sister and brother I was supposed to guard that night.// I sit up and wipe the tears away that had made their way over my dirty face. I get up again from the bed to take a nice long hot shower. It is always relaxing for me and it helps to clear the dark clouds in my mind. I mean Den said, when we were at the car, that we're fine and in the end, the goal to kill the wendigo was achieved. Even if it was trough Cas Angelblade and not with the explosion they had in plan. " so actually you even saved us a whole lot of TNT" he joked while loading the boxes with TNT in the boot of his Baby. And just like that for him and his younger brother that conversation was done and over. So let me wash myself and think of something nice. Guess what is the first nice thing my brain presents me, yes Castiel. But not the normal happy Castiel, no, I see his face just before he disappeared into the cave. Was he sad or angry? Or confused? No, I know these expressions of him. And it didn't really feel as if he had negative feelings towards me. More as if he'd like to say something important. and couldn't bring himself to do it. Since the water is starting to get cold, I step out of the shower a little bit relaxed but at the same time quite confused. I open the shower door and nearly slip on the wet bathroom floor. I grab the handle of the door and save my had from another injury, but twist my arm behind my back. "ooww fuck!" I quickly leave the handle and fall on the shoulder I just forced into an unnatural position and that fast.  Forgotten are the Wendigo, Castiel, and the world. Pain is all I know right now. I hear my shoulder who glides back in position as I turn my body to lay on the other shoulder in a fetus position. Stars in front of my eyes. I silently scream out. I swear. and the tears are falling again. Slowly the Pain fades a little bit. I sit slowly up straight against the bathroom door realizing that my towel is still in place. more or less. I know I could simply pray to my crush and puff everything is right again. A knock on the door stops my thoughts. "y/n/n. are you ready for breakfast? I'm starving!" Dean tries to open the door while he speaks. "Y/n? Are you fine?" he's asking now worried because I didn't answer right away. "All fine Dean. Nearly at lest. I just twisted my shoulder a bit. give me a minute." "Are you sure? should I not maybe call..." "NO! No Dean I'm sure." "hehe. Whatever. we're waiting at the car. Hurry or we may let you behind!" Do I really have to tell you that 10 minutes I am still struggling with putting a shirt on? "You are such a stubborn Human y/n" with only my head through the shirt I spin around to grab my gun on the bedstand at the sound of somebody in my room, but stop when I realize it's "only" the last person I wanted to see right now. "Castiel! How many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up on me like that! Owowow"  His with amused sparkling eyes turn worried when he hears my painful hisses. he is at my side in a blink of an eye. "please let me heal you y/n/n." I am surprised by him using my nickname. I mean by him using any Nickname. But the throbbing pain of my shoulder let me quickly forget about that. I nod and close my eyes. I wait to feel his finger on my head but instead both his big warm hands carefully cup my face, tilting it a little upwards and is forehead is leaning against mine. When the pain faints, I shyly open my eyes. I can not only feel the warmth of his hands and his forehead, it's like I get hugged by his whole being. The warm sensation flows through my body. The glowing blue of his eyes the only thing I see. I feel love. the love he is feeling for me. The unconditional pure love that promises never to betray.  It's nearly overwhelming, but for the first time in a long lonely life, I feel completely safe. It's only the two of us. No sounds. no surroundings. I slowly take his hand in mine to free my face and bring a little tiny bit of space between our faces to take in all his features. From his full plumb lips that now curl into a smile to the ocean of love that needs me when I look in his eyes. and I love everything I see exactly like it is now in front of me.  Before I knew what happens he unwinds our hands and pulls me with his one arm around my waist closer to him again. The other is in my hair on my backhead and I give in to the kiss the moment his lips are on mine. there are no words needed. we both but all the love, the desire for each other and the need of closeness in that first kiss // I was so blind// we separate after all the air is out of our lungs. "Yes. I already thought that I was misunderstanding your behavior." //you reading my mind again// he gives me a not so innocent smile " yes and so by the way I can hear your thoughts about me even if I am not around"

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