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#i am so delusional right now anyways have a good day/night
bembwashere · 4 months
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Something something that one meme, here's mine
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Hope you guys enjoy your [INSERT HOLIDAY HERE], I got the gift that keeps on giving, Corvid 19 :'D
But seriously i'm good, enjoying my day even when physically, feeling kinda crap 💙
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theautisticwriter · 2 months
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Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader
Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli
Show- Helluva Boss
Genre- romantic, yandere
Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!
Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention
Word count- 1.5K
Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!
key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname
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By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do
Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??
the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.
i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)
^glue
it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.
ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D
from the only bitch worth ur time,
blitzø
<3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)
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Hiya sweet cheeks!!!
It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!
How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.
Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?
Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!
Until next time sweetheart,
Your Mills! ♡
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Hi y/n,
It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.
As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.
We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.
I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.
All my love,
Your Moxxie <3
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Uh, hi?
Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck
Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?
Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.
Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.
I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?
See you,
Love from,
Regards?
Bye y/n,
Loona.
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My dearest y/n,
I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.
Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?
I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.
We truly are written in the stars!
Yours until the end of the sky and then some,
Stolas.
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Hey there baby,
It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.
I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.
It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.
Sincerely yours,
Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo
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Heya cutie!
Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?
Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!
And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.
I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P
Love from,
Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!
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ruwriteshours · 10 months
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PROVE MY LOVEִ ࣪𖤐 (L.D.H)
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↳ pairing: lee donghyuck (haechan) + fem! reader
↳ genre: slight angst, fluff, smut
↳ summary: Being used to second choice, what difference does it make when Haechan were to confess. You would be second choice to him too anyways... right?
↳ warning: sexual content (minors dni)
The moon beamed across your features, the light illuminating your face as your eyes sparkled underneath the night sky. Humming contently at the cold breeze as you basked yourself in your padded jacket, your legs bouncing slightly from the coolness.
In Haechan's eyes, you were more beautiful than ever, his heart kept fluttering too much that he had to compose himself.
This was it.
This will finally be the moment that he gets to build the courage to confess his undying love for you. Months after months of late night hang-outs, the not-so-subtle glances and the longing looks. This couldn't have been more right.
Unbeknownst to the lovesick boy, Cupid was no where near his sight that day.
"I love you." He breathed out, your name escaped his lips shortly after.
You paused.
Haechan bit his lip in anticipation, the fear crept through his face at the thought of rejection.
His heart shattered when he saw you stood up from the wooden bench beside him, the fear was slowly becoming a reality when you uttered,
"I'm sorry, Haechan but I don't feel the same way." And with that, you walked off.
After the humiliating rejection, you would have assumed that Haechan would do anything to avoid your presence from now on.
However, the persistent boy was full of suprises.
In fact, he was more determined than ever. He was becoming more bold with his actions every passing day. Day after day, he would wait for you outside the practice room, send you small bouquet of flowers and refuses to leave your sight, clinging onto you. Not to mention, that his touches and teases would increasing grow more suggestive, leaving you with crimson-coloured cheeks as you shoved him away to shield your nervous state.
Overtime, it became hard for you to convince your friends that you and Haechan are merely friends. They all saw right through you. You were in denial. The thought of someone ever being willing to devote to you was... frightening. You didn't want to believe it and you needed Haechan to stop what he was doing before you get your hopes up too soon... again.
"This needs to stop, Haechan." You faced him, your legs were seated across as you watched him falter at your words.
"Stop what." He asked stubbornly.
You sigh exaggeratedly, "You know what I'm talking about." You gestured your hands between the both of you, "This, whatever you're doing. You have to stop!"
"Nah, I'm good." He shrugged off before resuming his attention back on the TV.
"This isn't a joke, Haechan. I'm serious." You stated firmly.
"So am I." He retorted.
You could see his fist tightened as his eyes refused to meet yours. Deep down, he was just in denial as much as you. You needed him to understand he was better off. Mustering up the courage, you finally decide to tell him the truth.
"I've never been honest with the guys I've dated." You spoke up.
You didn't miss the way his ears perked up at the topic. You were always very private with your love life and you were never one to share it openly, even when someone were to ask. So the fact you were even willing to share this part of your life with him, only fed to his delusional thoughts that he could have this chance with you.
Just this once.
He hummed in acknowledgement, urging you to continue as he picked up the remote control to turn the screen off. Facing his direction towards you as he eyed you intently.
You gulped at his intense gaze, "The guys I have dated," You paused, nervousness laced in your voice.
Haechan seemed to notice as he gently held you hand and drew circles on your palm, humming once again for you to carry on. Despite being eager with your response, he was attentive and patient with you. He knew that it must be hard so he decided not to push it. You tried to ignore the way your heart fluttered at the action.
He was making it hard for you.
"All of them, fall out of love. One day, we were perfect for each other and there was even a time I genuinely thought we would last, but then," You sigh shakily, "The next, they told me that they found their true love and left."
Haechan tried to process that information. His heart clenched in sorrow and anger. He was deeply upset that you had to go through so much pain in your past relationships but he was also frustated that the guys you have dated had no idea how wonderful and beautiful you were. He would give away everything to take their place and it sickened him at the thought that they had thrown away the most precious girl in his eyes.
They don't deserve you as much as him and he was going to do whatever it takes to prove to you. To prove his love to you. He needs to show you how much you deserve it.
He was about to utter your name when you beat him to it.
"Haechan, I'm not saying that you'll be like this but I'm not gonna risk to find out." You let out, finally having those months of dreadfulness being lift off.
You loved Haechan just as dearly, if not more. But you couldn't risk damaging your already-broken heart once more. It was too much. You didn't want to have the same occurence happening over and over again. Afterall, you couldn't be Haechan's true love... right?
"I hope you don't take this rejection to heart, you'll find someone better." You comforted, patting his shoulders.
His head hung low and he was dead silent. A million thought ran through his mind and you could sense it. You feared that one of them was agreeing to your words. That you're unworthful of his love and that he shouldn't have wasted his time on you.
Those agonising thoughts haunted you and you sincerely hoped that you had made the right decision to tell him. It was better than to let him think you were his. He was bound to be with anyone else but you.
His prolonged silence only confirmed your theory and you try to not let it get to you.
Little did you know, in Haechan's case, you were dead wrong.
Now, you think it's time to depart. You have already said what was needed to and there wasn't anything left for you to give. With a heavy heart, you picked up your steps and began making your way towards the door to his apartment.
However, just a couple steps further, you were pulled towards his figure and engulfed in a tight embrace. Your heart yearned for this feeling, your heartbeat accelerating as you tried to ignore the surging feeling of reciprocating the hug.
His arms were wrapped around your waist as his head was nuzzled at the crook of your neck. This warm feeling made your head fuzzy. Never had you felt such emotions from a simple hug.
Much to your dismay, he pulled away but still kept a grip on your waist as if he was afraid that you would disappear from his life if he didn't do so.
"I am so in love with you." He stated, staring into my eyes with such fondness, "And I would rather die than to have anyone else that is not you. I don't want someone better. I don't care if someon better ends up coming into my life. I want you and only you." He wholeheartedly confessed.
"Haechan..." You trailed off,
He picked up the uncertainty laced in your tone, "I know it may be a lot to take in but I've been in love with you for the longest time. I'm crazy about you. Even if you don't want to be with me, please don't push me away." He pleaded.
Your heart couldn't handle such an emotional turmoil that your only instict was to grab his face and smash your lips against his. He steered back slightly from shock but quickly recovered as he began wrapping his arms around you tightly. Tip-toeing your feet to reduce the strain on his neck, the both of you deepened the kiss further. The kiss was full of affection and tender, feeling no need to rush into this act of intimacy. You could feel the genuinity from the way he took his time exploring your mouth.
He was hesitant, experimenting his tongue as it glided against yours softly. His hands moved lower and began circling softly around your hip-bone. Your hands began to wonder from his neck to his hair, tugging it slightly. He groaned at the pressure and began harshly biting your lips to part them, only to shove his tongue further down. You moaned at immense pleasure. Bending down slightly to pick you up by your legs as it immediately wrapped around his waist, both of you refusing to leave each other's lips as he led his way to his bedroom.
The kiss got progressively rough as he pushed you up against the door to his room, successfully slamming the door shut. You whimpered at the slight agression, a little turned on by his dominant side that you have never seen before.
His hands gripped onto your thighs to support your weight as he pushed his pelvis near your area. Both of you moaning at the insatiable feeling. A look of hunger took over Haechan as he began eyeing your clothes, ripping off every one of your clothes until your left bare. The feeling felt foreign and you couldn't help but felt a wave of insecurity flashed through you, ducking your head from his eyes as you gulped nervously.
Haechan wouldn't have none of it, though.
Gripping your jaw, he smashed his lips against yours. "Look at me." He demanded as he began trailing his kisses down your neck.
You couldn't help but obey his command, those piercing eyes made it difficult for you to not listen. He began throwing you onto his bed, the impact made you bounce slightly. He quickly hovered over your body, his lips attached to yours once again as his hand played with your breast, You moaned loudly against his mouth. Gripping onto his shoulder tightly as you began arching your back against him, wanting to feel more of him. Your hands found its way to his shirt and you began yanking it, hoping he would get the message. Thankfully, he got the hint and began removing his clothes one by one.
It has now dawned on you of what was happening and you couldn't help but feel the nervousness creep back in. Haechan seem to notice it as he paused, grabbing both sides of your face to make look at him.
"Do you want this?" He asked gently, his actions coming onto a halt.
His other hand is caressing your thighs while he awaits for your answer, being patient with the way you took your time. You couldn't detect any annoyance or anger laced in his voice. This time, you could feel your nerves dissipating at his question and you nodded, turning your head to the the side to kiss his warm hands.
"Yes." You answered honestly.
That was more than enough for him as he continued with his ministrations.
His hand made its way to your private area, sliding the panties down to make contact with your clit. You let out a pornographic moan when he collected all your juices and rubbed it together. You covered your mouth, embarassed that you had let out an erotic sound but Haechan held your wrist, stopping you.
"Let me hear you, babe." If it was even possible, your insides grew more wetter by the sudden nickname and you couldn't help but moan even louder.
"H-Haechan, a-ah!"
He continued to make motions with his fingers on your clit, slowly adding in another finger in hopes to find your sweet spot. When you whined and began grinding against his hand, he knew he had successfully found it and began removing his hands completely, preventing you from reaching your orgasm.
Before you could complain, he slowly laid you back down onto the bed, moving to the side of his desk to open up the drawer. He took out a condom and began ripping the wrapper with his teeth. He looked up to meet your eyes, silently giving you the chance to back out but you could only moan out his name, encouraging him further.
As he began lining up the condom, he stared into your eyes as he slowly inserted his dick inside your tight hole. Both of you moaned loudly at the feeling. He gave you a few seconds to gather yourself before you began arching your back, silently begging him to move. His thrust began slow and steady, not wanting to hurt you but as you began to tug on his hair and suck on his neck, he couldn't help but pick up the pace.
"A-Ah! Haechan. Feels so good!" You mewled.
"God! You're so- fucking tight!" He groaned.
You started to move your lips against him, your legs wrapped around his waist to push him even further inside. The pace got rougher and the both of you could feel an orgasm coming soon.
"H-Haechan, i'm about to c-cum!" You yelled out in pleasure.
"M-Me too, babe!"
His thrust began more sloppy as he pulled you into another kiss, both of your saliva mixing with one another. A drool dripped down your chin as you began sucking on his tongue, the kiss was more messier and needier now that both of your orgasm are nearing.
Both of you let out a moan when you had reached your climax.
Laying down on your side, both you and Haechan laid there in silence. Letting those event lingered in your minds, the more you think of it, the more you began to feel more giddy.
"That was..." Haechan broke the silence, trailing off.
"Amazing." You finished off, turning your head to the side to face him.
His eyes had already been staring into yours and he slowly inched his way closer to give you a long, passionate kiss. You returned it with just as much intensity.
He broke the kiss, "Look, I don't want to force you or anything but I really want to be with you." He caressed your cheek lovingly, "Fuck those guys you've dated, they don't know how beautiful and precious you are."
You blushed at his words, looking away.
He gripped your chin, "I'm serious. I'll do anything to prove my love to you."
You began cupping his neck, kissing the side of his face lightly as you snuggled your face up to his neck. Haechan wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead, both of you drifting to sleep under each other's presence.
Little did he know, he had proven his love for you already and it was about damn time you open your heart up to someone.
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©ruwriteshours
464 notes · View notes
whyse7vn · 7 months
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RIZZLESS -
[ot7 x reader]
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HOSEOK -
hobi: on a scale of one to pregnant how much do you love me
y/n: abortion
hobi: ok then
y/n: u were in my dream last night
hobi: was my fit hard?
y/n: you was cheating
hobi: real
y/n: ???
hobi: ??
anyways let’s fuck i’m so fr rn
y/n: kiss me through the phone
hobi: ft me 😍
y/n: ew no
you really think i’m gonna have esex with u rn???
hobi: ok the term esex is a REAL turn off
also why not
u not fucking with my rizz?
y/n: what rizz?
hobi: i would fight a lion for you
y/n: is that it?
hobi: is that it????
why are you acting like the lion line didn’t get you going back in the day
y/n: back in the day?? are we 65?
hobi: ur acting 65
y/n: sorry i don’t want to have phone sex
leave me alone
hobi: do you not love me
y/n: not rn no
hobi: look into my eyes baby
y/n: stop harassing me
hobi: is my game really that bad?
y/n: i’m afraid so
hobi: don’t be afraid
hoseokies got u
y/n: hoseokie?? i have never called you that in my life
hobi: ok well maybe you should start
y/n: i won’t
hobi: mannnnn :(
i’ll even call you something cute in return
what about hunnybun 💞
y/n: i’m gonna kill myself and it’s gonna be ur fault
hobi: WAIT!!!!
let me fuck first
y/n: ur insufferable
hobi: i love a woman with a big vocabulary
like yesss tell me i’m gargantuan while we fucking
y/n: ur so fucking gross
how am i with you
hobi: we are in deep deep love
y/n: i’m in a deep deep depression
hobi: that mean u freaky right?
y/n: can you leave me alone now
hobi: i love and miss you
y/n: i can tell
hobi: can you not just say you love and miss me back like wow ur so difficult why do i put up with this
y/n: we are in deep deep love!!!
hobi: u a super freak 😍⁉️
y/n: zero fucking rizz
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JUNGKOOK -
jungkook: are you an apple?
y/n: no?
jungkook: because apple pie
y/n: ?
jungkook: 👍🏻
y/n: i’m lost
jungkook: so am i
y/n: are you trying to flirt with me?
jungkook: i’m sorry
pls don’t hit me
y/n: your making it real hard not to rn
jungkook: do you have the time?
y/n: no
jungkook: 4:30 pm 😉
y/n: that makes zero sense
jungkook: i have more
please baby
y/n: no
jungkook: you must be a waterfall
y/n: i am not
jungkook: wet
y/n: ew
jungkook: don’t slip
y/n: leave me alone
jungkook: do you like it
y/n: what do you think
jungkook: a little
y/n: no
jungkook: oh
y/n: yeah
jungkook: i’m so sorry
y/n: i know
jungkook: 🥹
y/n: if i could i would punch you rn
jungkook: out of love and appreciation?
y/n: i haven’t decided yet
jungkook: i get that
y/n: do you?
jungkook: 😞……
y/n: you make my brain hurt so bad
but i have to kiss you on the mouth passionately
jungkook: kiss
y/n: ur so annoying
UGH
real himbo u are
jungkook: haribo?
y/n: what?
jungkook: no
y/n: what?????
jungkook: are you butter?
y/n: ?
jungkook: smooth like 😍
y/n: are you drunk?
jungkook: no
y/n: are you sure?
jungkook: are you sure yes
y/n: what the actual fuck are you saying to me rn
jungkook: i’m trying to appear more intelligent
y/n: it is not working!
jungkook: have you liked my pickup lines so far
y/n: i wonder what it is like in your brain
truly
jungkook: me 2
y/n: what did you actually want from me kookie
jungkook: do you think i’m good at pickup lines?
y/n: lol!
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TAEHYUNG -
taehyung: BRO JIMIN KEEPS SAYING I HAVE NO RIZZ LIKE HOW DOES HE THINK I PULLED YOU IS HE STUPID???????
y/n: you just called me bro?
taehyung:
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my fault my amazing sunshine queen nugget honey muffin pie baked at 180 degrees for 25 minutes made with love sprinkles happiness and joy
y/n: jimin is right
taehyung: my rizz was just so out of this world good it made you think it was bad
y/n: if being delusional was a olympic sport you would have like 15 hundred gold medals by now
taehyung: that’s impossible actually
y/n: tHaTs iMpOsSiBlE aCtuALlY 🤓☝🏽
taehyung: u think ur funny
y/n: hilarious actually
taehyung: i would stab myself for you
y/n: boring
jimin would definitely die for me
taehyung: ok?? who said i wasn’t dying like god you can never let me finish
y/n: ok but jimin would of opened with i would die for you
taehyung: jimin clearly isn’t a vivid story teller like i am
i would of broken down the whole getting stabbed and dying for you storyline if you’d fucking let me
y/n: i like a man that gets straight to the point
taehyung: i love you
y/n: jimin would of kissed me
taehyung: i’m trying to flirt with u right now and ur being difficult
y/n: jimin would of done this better sighs
taehyung: i could outrizz jimin any day
y/n: outrizz? that sounds like something a 12 year old would say
taehyung: maybe i am 12
y/n: ew?
don’t say that
taehyung: do you think we would fall in love if we met when we were 12?
y/n: probably those were ur normal days
idk what happened to you after that
u really let urself go
taehyung: i ate an ant for the first time when i was 12
y/n: nvm
for the first time????
and the last i hope
taehyung: i be getting hungry sometimes
y/n: imagine how insane your fans would think you are if they saw even a day’s worth of the shit you say to me
taehyung: insanely sexy like you see me right lol 😩
y/n: fuck you
taehyung: go ahead then
fuck me
ain’t nobody holding you back
yehaw
y/n: yehaw?
taehyung: sorry the cowboy in me likes to come out sometimes
did he make you blush
y/n: seek help i’m not joking
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JIMIN -
jimin: whenever i get a message from you i moan a little bit
i hope it’s the same for you
do you moan for me babe
i bet you do
u freak
yeah
i like that
y/n: wow
jimin: why are you cheating on me
y/n: ?????
where is this coming from
and how did you go from moaning at my notifications to accusing me of cheating?
jimin: so many questions not enough answers
answer me pretty
y/n: are you trying to fuck me or fight me right now
like what is going on?
jimin: you held namjoons hand yesterday
y/n: he literally fell on the floor
i helped him up
jimin: ok so?
he’s a grown man
he can get up by himself
y/n: he twisted his ankle
so no he couldn’t get up by himself
jimin: ok but a real man would of walked it off
y/n: idk what to tell u then
namjoon must have a pussy? idk
jimin: ur into that tho
u freak
y/n: what?????
jimin: i’m like real drunk rn
y/n: jimin what the hell its 11:30 in the morning???
jimin: ok?? the henny was calling me
y/n: this is real concerning baby
jimin: baby huh?
y/n: where are you rn
jimin: filming
y/n: ur filming this fucked up? be fr
jimin: ok but did you believe me for a second
y/n: not one
jimin: aw man :(
rate my back flip
y/n: what
jimin: i just did it can you rate it pls
y/n: 4/10?
jimin: wtf
you clearly don’t know anything about the art of flipping 💀
y/n: k
jimin: my backflip was majestic
y/n: i can bet you like 20k rn that you did not flip at all
jimin: looks like i’m 20k up
y/n: don’t lie to me
jimin: i’m a good liar
y/n: definitely not!
jimin: do you want to make out
y/n: no
jimin: ur loss
y/n: i’ll cope
jimin: you won’t I’m telling you baby
y/n: i’m coping
jimin: ur not i can see it in your eyes
y/n: you can’t even see me rn
jimin: i see you in my heart
y/n: thanks
jimin: yw
i’m gonna throw up now
y/n: ew
drink some water please
jimin: let me spit game rq
y/n: ok?
jimin: eye🤤
y/n: LMAOSOS WHAT???
jimin: do i have game?
y/n: absolutely not but i love the effort!
jimin: i want you so bad
be mindful 🤭
y/n: mindful?
jimin: minecraft
mini
mother
maybe
mauwjc
movement
mw
meow
mmmmm
motel
mountain
y/n: this is real sad
it’s not even 12 yet
alcoholism kills
jimin: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
y/n: you’ll get it i believe in you
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NAMJOON -
namjoon: sent you money baby
y/n: ew why
namjoom: felt like it
y/n: gonna use it for evil
namjoon: what?
y/n: evil tasks
namjoon: ok be safe love 👍🏻❤️
y/n: love ur silly emojis sighs
namjoon: rizz
y/n: rizz?
namjoon: rizz
y/n: LMAO WHAT
namjoon: rizz
i just rizzed rn
y/n: EW THAT SOUNDS SO GROSS
tf you mean you just rizzed
namjoon: i have rizz
y/n: who taught you that what the hell
namjoon: i learnt it myself this time
i have rizz
am i saying this right
i think i am
rizz
you’ve been rizzed
anyways love you bye ❤️
rizz
y/n: HELPSJDJDJXJ
DON’T GO JOONIE
come back
namjoon: i am back
y/n: i would LOVE to see more of this so called “rizz” you have
namjoon: oh ok
❤️
rizz
y/n: LAMSKOSOSODODODJDJDN
is it necessary to say rizz every time?
namjoon: i think so
idk if i’m doing this right
i hope i am
it feels right
y/n: ur hearts in the right place and that’s all that matters tbh
namjoon: i’m glad
also i booked dinner for us later
major rizz 😆
y/n: UR SO SILLY
ohmygod i love you i do
namjoon: you like my rizz?
y/n: love it
namjoon: thanks cuz idk what i’m actually talking about
y/n: i can tell
namjoon: rizz is like game right?
i have game i’m a good flirt it means that right?
y/n: basically
namjoon: so is it tue?
do i have major unspoken rizz?
y/n: ew never say that again
it was cute until it wasn’t
namjoon: aw wtf :/
was i doing good?
y/n: great actually
major unspoken rizz was ur downfall
namjoon: mannnnn
i’ll never say that again
as long as i live
y/n: i’m glad
namjoon: was it a major ick? a red flag perhaps???
y/n: stop talking
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SEOKJIN -
jin: ur so quiet downstairs
y/n: you want me to start beatboxing or something??
jin: would you 🥺
y/n: bye
jin: can you please come lay with me im bored
y/n: in a bit
jin: boo
y/n: i’m studying
jin: for what?
y/n: what do you want
jin: you 😋
y/n: wait
jin: woof
y/n: ??
jin: sorry you since you wanna talk to me like a dog i thought i’ll act like one
y/n: you are not trying to argue with me rn…
jin: and if i am 😚?
y/n: or worst is this ur fucked up way of flirting with me…..
jin: wow you know me so well ^^
you know i love u most when ur a little bit mad at me >.<
i’m a empath
y/n: that is not what that means
jin: ok so what
y/n: it means ur stupid
jin: you want me so bad
y/n: idk who told you that
jin: the voices
y/n: woah?
jin: do i scare you?
people say i’m a freak…
they laugh
they giggle
but ur different
you see…
me
y/n: tf are you going on about??
laugh and giggle basically the same thing ur dumb as hell x2
ur pissing me off bye
jin: BABE COME BACK
let me seduce you
y/n: lmk when the seduction starts cuz i’m not feeling what ever tf this is
jin: ok it started the moment i said woof but i get it ur a picky lady
u have standards
i respect that
hold my hand
look at me
i love you
i NEED you
y/n: fuck off kim seokjin
jin: ok tough crowd tonight lmao
ok my egos not hurt at all
in fact it’s gotten a little larger
y/n: whatever
jin: lol
y/n: ??
jin: i think being with you has made me lose my natural charm
i swear i can flirt
y/n: who told u that
that’s crazy
jin: i CAN flirt
y/n: sure
jin: like i’m really god at it
y/n: yeah!
jin: ur being sarcastic
y/n: am i?
jin: i’ll punch you
y/n: that’s not how you flirt now silly!!!!
jin: you are becoming my downfall in life
next ur gonna take my extremely good looks away from me
y/n: you got me!
jin: bitch
y/n: i don’t think i’ll come upstairs actually
jin: was my charm not good enough?
y/n: take a guess
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YOONGI -
yoongi: ur eyes shine
y/n: ok
yoongi: ur hair is shiny
y/n: thanks
yoongi: ur teeth shine
y/n: ok?
yoongi: i can’t do this omg
y/n: tf was that
yoongi: i think my rizz is better when it’s unspoken
y/n: i agree cuz ur telling me THAT was rizz???
wow u suck lol
yoongi: sorry wtf
i would like to see you do better
y/n: i’ll impregnate you rn lol 😋
yoongi: yeah you can’t flirt for shit
y/n: wtf that was one of my best lines
yoongi: that almost made me do a line of coke
y/n: h-hi i k-kinda like you okay >\\\<
yoongi: ok stop
y/n: let me cook bae
yoongi: absolutely not
y/n:
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shhhhhh
come here kitten
yoongi: i’m gonna throw up
y/n: you should be like that one mark lee video rn
“ur making me blush”
if i was you and you were me and you as me said that to me as you ik i (as you) would be blushing like CRAZY
yoongi: sucks ur not me and i’m not you then
y/n: it does
how i would kill for someone to say that to me…
sighsssssss
yoongi: absolutely not
ur out of ur mind
y/n: yoongiiiiiiiii
ur no fun
pleaseeeeeeeee :3
look i did ur silly face
pls oh pls oh pleaseeeeeee
:3
:3
:3
yoongi: i’m gonna block you
y/n: just one come here kitten and i’ll never ever message you again
yoongi: ur out of ur mind
y/n: for you 😍
yoongi: no
y/n: :c
yoongi: stop
y/n: :c
:c
:c
yoongi: i’m not doing it
y/n: ㅠㅠ
that’s me crying rn
as we speak
yoongi: bye
y/n: you will say it
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yoongi: why do you have so many pictures of this man
y/n: why are you jealous??
dw you know ur my one and only bbg
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wow my rizz out of this world
you can no longer send messages to this contact!
tags: @piw6n @jvmisvu @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizzal @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @indigobsessed @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @yojaschill @k4ngelz
328 notes · View notes
strawberryspence · 1 year
Text
Eddie,
Dear Eddie,
Eddie fucking Munson,
Yeah. Hello. It's me. Steve Harrington.
Jesus. This is so weird.
Max just got out of the hospital today. It's surreal to think that it's been six months since Spring Break and she's only getting out today. The doctors said there's gonna be a long road ahead of her but that's okay, right? What's important is that there's a road ahead of her.
Anyway, the day Max got Vekna-ed Vecna-ed (Dustin just corrected my spelling. I think Vekna sounds better.), she wrote us letters. Just in case she… bites the dust. When she woke up, she told us we could read it if we wanted. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I burned it the moment she woke up. She told me (Just me specifically) that I should try it. When I asked who I should write to, she smiled and started humming a Metallica song. Which is fucking wild that I even knew that she was humming Disposable Heroes.
Robin told me I wasn’t good at dealing with my grief. That instead of letting the wound heal, I just let it scab and hurt. Which— I hate the word grief. Because I hate grief, you know?
You don’t know this, but Barbara Holland died in my backyard and Nancy… Nancy still mourns her to this day. I don’t think she’ll ever stop mourning her. A few months back, we talked. Dude, I know what you’re going to say and No, we are not getting back together. I let her smash bottles of beer in my empty pool. We cried and screamed until we were both exhausted. I asked her this question that’s been running through my mind for months now.
What the hell is grief?
Nancy smiled at me. She told me that she had a hard time trying to learn what grief is, that at first she thought it was anger and disappointment and hatred. But she told me (after a few minutes because Nancy also loves dramatic pauses. I think you guys have that in common), that it’s actually just love. Just love. With no place else to go.
And you know what? Fuck that. She’s the smartest person I know but she was wrong. Fuck that.
This grief I have for you, it can’t be love right? How could I love someone I barely even knew? It’s nothing but disappointment that I couldn’t have done more. It’s nothing but pure fucking rage that you didn’t fucking listen to me when I told you to run. It’s nothing but hatred from the fact that you did this when you could’ve lived.
I don’t care if you felt like a coward. You should’ve been a coward because at least you would still be alive. I wouldn’t be writing this letter if you were alive.
I hate you. I goddamn fucking hate you for every decision you’ve made that night.
But Eddie…
Eddie, I need you to get up and tell me what to do. I am begging you to get up and tell me what to do. I don’t care how you do it, just do it. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do without you. Which is fucking ridiculous, because I didn’t know you. But I need you here. Right now.
We’re done with the Upside Down forever. We’re done with it. Everyone’s moving on, moving forward. And I… I still sleep with your vest. How could I be sad over something I never even had in the first place?
Robin’s giving me weird looks. She’s telling me that I could talk to her about anything. I know. I know I can. But I wanted you to be the first to know. Apparently, I am gay. Maybe half gay because I like both. Fucking Eddie Munson, you’re dead and you’re still giving me a sexuality crisis.
I think… I think I am mourning the fact that we could’ve been friends, and if I am being delusional, maybe even more. Dustin won’t stop talking about you these days. I think it’s his way of keeping you alive. If I’m being honest, I hate it. Because I am falling in love with a memory.
I… I miss you. I wish there was a way I could send this to wherever you are, so you could write back and tell me that it’s going to be okay. That someday I would forgive myself for everything I did and did not do, that someday it wouldn’t hurt this much anymore.
Max was right. I’ll write more in the future.
I wish you were here.
Sincerely,
Yours,
Fuck you,
Steve Harrington.
06/13/86
Steve laughs as he carefully closes the old letter— stained with tears and age, some crumpling and tearing on the edges— and slips it back to the envelope. The envelope is yellow at the edges, showing its true age.
“God, I was so mad.” Steve says, his hand finding the cold headstone. His fingers tracing the name inscribed on the marble. After a few years, after the town of Hawkins eventually forgot everything, the Party got Eddie a headstone in the cemetery. It’s a funeral ten years too late, but it brought closure to everyone that needed it. Wayne, included.
“You want me to read my newest letter?” Steve asks the empty space. Steve takes the newer envelope from the picnic basket he packed, opening it carefully and taking a deep breath.
“Dearest Eddie,” Steve smiles at the stone. He thinks of Eddie, the only image he always conjures when he misses him. He thinks of Eddie, hair wet and face grimy from having fought bats for a person he barely knew. He thinks back to that Eddie, big brown eyes and teasing smile.
He looks down at the letter and continues reading, “I am writing this letter before I go visit you. Spring has been good to us. I’ve been trying to plant more and I think it’s going great. Dustin’s been bugging me to get some exercise. Can you believe that? He said it’ll be good for my old bones. Or some shit like that. He’s still a disrespectful little shit. I do find joy over the fact that Edward is a jock. Dustin Henderson? Has a jock kid? It’s the best thing in my life. El loves joking about it. We’re just thankful the kid doesn't have powers.”
“The Byers-Wheelers are doing pretty good too. Will sent us this really funny picture of Mike in a tutu as the twins practice beside him. It feels like only yesterday Will came out to Robin and me. You remember that right? I think I wrote it in one of my letters. Will still tells me that you and him could’ve been really good friends, and I believe him.”
“The Sinclairs are planning to travel across the country this Summer. We did have a few laughs when the “Winnebago” dream came up. Elena’s going through a rebellious teenage phase, and I just think it’s funny that she stole their car to drive to me. She really is her mother’s daughter.”
“As for Argyle and Jon, last I heard they were in Montana. They’ll come back down for the holidays, but they live their lives on the down low. Aside from Jon’s very active instagram account, they do write through emails. Robin and Nance are in Europe right now. They wanted me to come, but you know I can’t leave Arwen. She could be forty and married, and I’d still stay by her side. She has this concert coming up, and I want to stay and make sure it goes well.”
“I still think it’s funny that I adopted her at a random adoption office, because it still feels like she chose me rather than I chose her. Sometimes, I still let myself be delusional. If I squint hard enough, I could see it. With the way she plays the guitar, or the way she talks nerdy with her uncles. It’s like you were right there when she was growing up, right there beside me, helping raise her. Now that Arwen’s older, she understands it now. Why I never got married.”
“It’s been 36 years since you left. It doesn’t feel that long ago. I know you know this already, but sometimes I still reach out for your vest at night. It doesn’t smell like you anymore, not at all. I still remember it though. Like cigarettes and weed and the damn forest. Sometimes I’ll get a random whiff of something similar in public, something remotely close, and I’ll smile. Because I just know that’s you, being a creep and checking in on us.”
“In the hundreds of letters I’ve written in the last few years, I don’t think I’ve ever said it.”
Steve chokes as he reads the next few lines, “I think I’ll be okay, Eddie. I am sorry it took me this long to say it, but I hope you’re resting well now. I think we’ll meet again in a few more years, maybe another 20? What’s another 20, right? I can wait. When we meet again, we can spend an eternity together if you’ll have me. We’ll do everything we want to do. Just… wait for me, okay, Eds?”
“I’ll be back soon. Love always, Steve.” Steve slowly closes the letter, slipping it back to the envelope.
Steve sits in silence. Just listening to the birds chirp, just basking in the sunlight.
“Dad!” Steve turns to see Arwen climbing the hills, waving her hands as she jogs over to him.
“Hi, peanut.” He greets her when she’s finally close enough.
“Hi. I am sorry to interrupt.” She looks at the headstone with pain before turning to him, “Are you almost done? We have to be back to Indianapolis by four.”
“Yeah, I think I am done. I can come back some other time.”
Arwen helps him up, his knees creaking with age, “Give us a few more minutes, hm? I’ll follow you.”
Arwen nods, smiling before turning to the grave, patting it gently like it’s an actual person, “I promise to visit some other time, Eddie. I’ll play you this new song I’m writing.” She kisses Steve’s cheeks before running back to the car.
“I wish I could stay longer. But she’s got that concert thing. There won’t be an actual concert if she’s not there.” Steve chuckles.
“See you later, Eds.” Steve lifts kisses his fingertips before pressing it on the headstone.
The trees shake with a gust of wind. He smiles, letting his eyes flutter shut as he feels the wind against his skin.
Steve opens his eyes, waving at the headstone one last time.
Edward Joseph Munson
1965 - 1986
All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
419 notes · View notes
chicksmoothie · 1 year
Text
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•Say it like you mean it — mingi
—you have a very hard time dealing with your nightmares, so your studiocolleague and hard crush mingi helps you out sleeping better
Pairing dom!Mingi x sub!fem!reader/Chick
Genre Smut & Romance, Music Studio AU. Includes fluff & kinks
WordCount 4K
Warnings +18 content, minors DNI, nightmares, sleep paralysis, dirty talk, really dirty sex (urophilia and anal as the kinkiest), cursing, a bit of a size kink, smile kink (??), and I think that’s it, please tell me if I am forgetting something!
This in no way aims to be a real depiction of Mingi, just a character based on him!!! Same goes for Wooyoung, who appears for a sec.
AN: HIIII!!
Firs of all, I would like to thank you for reading :) this is actually my first fic since I was a teenager so I am a little shy about sharing it, but a friend asked me to do it so here it is!
I must say three things that you might want to know:
I use Chick instead of y/n cos it helps me write
English is not my first language and although I am confident in my english skills there might be some typos, weird use of english or gramatical errors, so sorry in advance
This story will continue as independent chapters of the same AU, but it won’t follow any schedule
Say it like you mean it
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You are trying to stop moving throughtout your nightmare but it is kinda impossible, as always.
The night is getting longer and longer and this shitty dream doesn’t seem to end. You have always had this problem: you know you are sleeping, that it is a dream and you kinda control it till a certain point where it turns into a nightmare, and then you are unable to wake up. You try screaming, moving or opening your eyes but nothing works. You are trapped until your body is too tired to keep fighting against your wish to snap out of it, or someone wakes you up. The latter is what happens this time.
You blink a few times, trying to swipe the blur in your still sleepy eyes, just to guess a massive dark silhouette bending over you. “Hey, you alright Chick?” The silhouette asks “You were making a funny face” Your eyes finally focus. “Mingi” you manage to answer with a raspy voice, just awaken. “Yeah, thanks… I just need to get some water”. The guy immediatly hands you a bottle of cold water, which you thank and firstly put on your forehead to get rid of even the last bit of nightmare that might remain.
“Were you dreaming?” You open the bottle and drink a tiny zip. “Yes, nightmares, I get them quite a lot” You don’t know why you are telling this to Mingi. The guy could just be a random studiopartner who you sometimes help with lyrics and beats, but well, apart from that, he is the guy you secretly have a huge crush on and the same guy you draw every session day cos you can’t get over his profile, lips, adams apple or shiny eyes. His short pink hair has been printed in your brain along with his smile since the moment you first landed your eyes on him. You are totally delusional for him. And eventhough his mates are obssessed with shipping you together, you don’t get any sexy vibe from him towards you, so you just enjoy his company and, why not saying it, his sight too. You get along really well, and you don’t even think about fucking that up.
“Are they really bad? I mean, you seemed just upset while sleeping, but not enough for it to be a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from”. The next explanaition you give him surprises you even more, cos you spend the next good 10 minutes telling him about your whole problem with sleep paralysis, and this is something you normally avoid at all cost. And, oh my god, not him paying attention without saying a word until you finish, making you blush, cheeks beet red. “And that’s it I guess, not too deep”.
You don’t normally get knocked out like this at the studio, so it isn’t going to happen again anyway. You could just keep helping each other with your songs as you’ve been doing till now before this tiny shitty incident, end this conversation right here and keep going with your lifes, “Do you need someone to wake you up like I did just now?” until he asks this “I might be able to do that” and states this other thing.
“Sorry, I think I don’t get you” you are trying your best to brush off the thought of Mingi being next to you while sleeping before burning with the need of having that scene in real life, “As I said, I offer myself to stay next to you while you sleep just in case you need a hand to wake up” until he offers himself to…fuck, to actually do so.
“Yooooooooo…” you both jump in surprise, your conversation being interrupted by Wooyoung, one of Mingis teamates. “Flirting again I see” Mingi slightly blushing and flicking his tounge. “Fuck off Woyo” he turns to your direction and says “Give it some thought, I might be of help”. He tries hard to hide his nervous smile, dimple showing and eyes shining. And then he fucking leaves.
Woyo laughs while waving goodbye “Well, princess, it is getting late, you should go home”
What the fuck was that just now, you ask yourself.
****************************************************
Your dreams are getting not only worse, but also more frequent. The last nightmare with sleep paralysis was the fifth out of seven nights a week has. That is double as much as they were before, and this situation has been going on for another two weeks.
Your lack of quality sleep has you dozzing off during lesson and keeps your brain bottled up, unable to concentrate nor being creative on your music. It has reached to a point where you would get paranoid and afraid of the night itself, which implies being unable to sleep at all. You are tired both physically and mentally, and Mingi and the guys from the studio can tell.
This is why Mingi takes you to the studios kitchen, sits you on a chair and goes “You’re not sleeping shit”. You can only nod. “Why won’t you ask for help? I offered, but it doesn’t have to be me if you are not comfortable with that” you look up at him, doubting if you should tell him that no one knows about your nightmares. You bite your lip until you throw it: “I can’t tell just anyone cos it embarrasses me,” deep breath “so you are the only one who knows” Mingi is so shocked you can tell miles away, given the face he is making. After the shock comes the seriousness. “Okay, you are sleeping beside me tonight”. And all you can do is nod again, tired and surrendered.
****************************************************
You throw the key away in the desk by the door, hang your coat and make a gesture for Mingi to do the same. “I am sorry it isn’t tidy”. He wanders around with his eyes just to catch how full of paintings and drawings, sculptures and some other things he can not really classify this house of yours is.
“Your place is actually amazing. How come you have so much arty stuff?” You can tell he is genuinely interested “Oh, I majored in Fine Arts, currently writing my thesis, so this is research material you could say” He widen his eyes “Wait, I thought you were a singer, like, I’ve seen you live” Trying to supress your smile you say “Well, I do that too. I do a bit of everything, never good enough at anything to live on it” He automatically shakes his head in disapproval, “The fuck you saying, that doesn’t show on your songs or in all this, baby” You look at him, not sure about what you should be more shocked about: the fact that he was giving you credit on all of your work so fervently or the fact that he just casually called you baby.
Shit, you could get used to that. “I am going to order the pizza,” you shake it off quickly, “you can choose a movie or something. The TV is over there.” Is this a fucking date? Really? Pizza is okay but, girl, a movie? Bloody hell you are hooked.
After a while watching Inuyasha, chosen by you and accepted by him since not surprisingly he loves anime, you start to feel that new but already familiar feeling of not being able to keep your eyes open due to tiredness. Also not surprisingly, you don’t lose to paranoia and fear tonight, since Mingi is close enough to you to be able to feel his body heat. It makes you nervous in a totally different way, and also calm enough to finally fall asleep on his shoulder.
It is all pitch black, you can’t see a thing and you try to reach something around you but your hands keep slipping through cold air and emptyness. You feel you are too alone for it to even be possible, you feel such loneliness, such fear of what you can’t see. Everything around you is still cold and still empty and your hands are still slipping through the air and you can’t find anything or anyone to wake you up.
Thats it, you are dreaming. Another shitty fucking nightmare. Please someone wake me, please. You try to say it, your mouth opens up and maybe emits the sound but you can’t hear it. You also try to pull your own arm in a desperate attempt of inflicting yourself some pain that shakes you out of this dream, but fail. Your body blocks any kind of action you try to start. Cold drops of sweat rolling through your body outside the dream, you can feel it, you are right in between, why can’t you reach the surface?
It suddenly happens. A hand would gently caress your sweat away outside the dream, first thing you feel in what seemed ages. And that’s what it takes. You slowly open your eyes, also slowly focusing on a worried Mingi. “You alright?” You are suddenly so calm, everything just sets right.
You close your eyes again and rest for the first time in a long time.
When you wake up you are in your bed, fully covered with your 3k blankets (you are really not a cold person) and a fucking big and heavy arm. Mingi is right behind you, breathing soundly on your nape. Shut up. Shut the fuck up because this is not fucking happening. I am still dreaming. You tell yourself all that, but reality says otherwise, since Mingi wakes up to your tiniest move in order to wake you if needed, and he had just noticed how your body suddenly tensed.
“Chick? You awake?” Shit is his morning voice sexy “Good morning Mingi” you can’t even turn around from embarrassment “Good morning baby” BABY, againnnn?jeheodjeifhehehdjhd “Did you sleep any better?” You just manage to nod, unable to emit any sound or word since apparently you have forgotten your own language. “Why won’t you talk? Are you alright?”
His fingers start to have a stroll through your hair, drawing circles on your scalp. What is he up to? You wonder, cos this situation would normally lead to something you know far too well. But, as always, you’d rather die than admit that these things happen to you, that someone might be interested in you. You need more, a bit of a bigger proof. “Hey, Chick, please talk to me, do you need water or something?… Did you fall asleep again?” This last bit is nearly a whisper. Did he actually lower his voice just now just in case you had fallen asleep? You can’t take it. That is too fucking endearing. You break in laughter and turn around, smiling at him. “Thanks Mingi, I slept amazing”.
And there you are, facing each other closer than ever. Just a few centimeters away from his lips, as you had imagined too many times to even fucking count. So what do you do now, you beg someone to tell you. The hand that was previously caressing your head had, lets say naturally, landed on your waist when you abruptly turned around, and somehow it started moving with the same motion it had on your head, but now on its new location. “Yeah? I’m glad, and you are welcome” A bright smile on his lips, still so close to yours you could breathe his words in. You just can’t stop looking at him, he is too bright himself, so pretty. His smile is too much for you, fuck, you might actually cry.
But you don’t have time to do that, cos Mingi takes the chance of you looking at his lips to put on yours his pretty smile. It lasts a second, but when he moves his face away from you, your heart tightens and your eyes shut close to try to process the warmth in your chest. Where did all these overwhelming feelings come from? You never thought it was so deep. Was it this deep? Have you been cockblocking your own feelings for this guy as you always do just to avoid facing them? Hell yeah you have girl. When you open your eyes Mingi is looking at you, clearly puzzled since he thinks he might have gone overboard with the kiss. Your hands find his cheeks, pressing against them so hard his mouth turns into a fish face.
“I am in love with you” You look at him gently for a second, just settling your words altogether with your flaming chest. His face is a poem: the fish face now has his eyes wide open in surprise, and you break in laughter again. He slowly takes your hands away while his expression changes just to grab your chin with one of his own hands “You mean it? Say it like you mean it” his eyes are a bit narrowed, his new and unknown expression tainted in something dark that you can feel right in your lower half. He wants to know, he wants to hear you say it like you mean it.
You swallow, looking at him in the eyes while trying to catch your breath “Mingi I lov-“ And thats all you manage to say, cos next Mingi is full on pressing his lips against yours, your whole body against his, so much bigger than yours. It sounds so messy in your mouths you feel shy about it, but all you can do is give in to him, finally reaching each other as you both apparently wanted to. His hands are all over your body. Fuck you are needy. Fuck he also is.
So you move your hands near the “whatever cloth’s he has got” elastic and pull it down. He growls in your mouth, anticipating what you are about to do. And, although he wants you to do it, he also wants to pleasure you first.
“Baby, wait” you look at him, quite confused again both for him stopping you and also him calling you baby for the third time as if nothing. “Let me get on top, yeah?” As if you could fucking answer anything to that. He slips on top of you making it seem like he has done it every single day of his life, with such ease. When you feel him grind against you, you melt down and pant. You want him so much it’s insane.
In a second attempt to take action you stroke yourself against him, and again he stops you “Be a good girl, huh? Let me work you just right for a bit” you automatically stop and nod biting your lips, eyes full of needy tears, making his chin clench and tighten in lust at the sight of this undone under him you. He goes back to your mouth and kisses you, and this time he does it so damn slowly, as if he loved you back? His tongue going over your lips and making its way inside your mouth, finally eating your breath up in the sweetest kiss ever.
His hands are covering your cheeks and reaching behind your ears through your neck, and this could sound all too innocent and fluffy if he wasn’t grinding against your already soaked pussy so hard but at the same slow pace as the kiss. You moan between his lips, earning another one of his smiles, this time a bit cheeky. “Needy aren’t we?” He didn’t expect it, but you grin yourself and go back to his mouth and almost whispering you say “Yeah baby, so fucking needy for you”. Mingi tenses from head to toe, grinds one time just as a reflex and slaps you slightly on your cheek, “And what exactly is it that you need, needy girl?” “Mingi, please” your grin dropping and you cry while your arms wrap around his lower back just to pull him even closer, pressing your clit against his already rock hard dick, making you both moan.
“Words baby, wanna hear you say it” he growls while grinning and you cant help but obey without even thinking, “Mingi, really give it to me,pretty please? Fuck me stupid hm?” You know your slutty begging tone is effective, but not to this extent, cos one second after your last word is Mingi dragging your pants and panties down, lining his dick and pushing it slowly inside you. Slowly, very slowly, cos you are wetter than ever, but he is so, so, so big. You both sighing deep due to the sudden hit of his cock entering you.
“You feel amazing around me. Going so slow is torture” He is looking into your eyes, so when you push yourself up in order to take him whole in one go, you have the perfect sight of his eyelids flicking and his eyes rolling up to the back of his head, enjoying the pleasure it gives him. “Fuck, baby, so good” he bites his lips while now moving in and out of you, still slowly, still so sweet.
Your pussy clenching at the sound of his praising. “Mingi come closer, I wanna kiss you” “Because you love me?” You nod “Words baby” and he demands. “I love you Mingi, please let me kiss you” He smiles brightly. “I love you too” and so he’s got you. You’re done for.
The moment he bends down to kiss you you swallow his mouth, arch your back and make his cock enter you the fucking perfect angle that you both needed to finally lose it. Mingi starts to fuck you hard, taking your legs to roll them around his waist, making you push him deeper with each time he bangs. Your eyes crying and your voice crying too, your head falling back in pleasure, him growling your name and praising how good your pussy tastes for his cock, his body pressed so tightly to yours and every inch of your body feeling so full of him.
You start to feel that burning knot in your core, this hot sensation that you have never felt with a guy fucking you before and that you could only reach with your fingers.
“Mingi I think am gonna cum” you cry “Cum baby, drench me, yeah?” As if you were following his every order, the knot pulls you to your orgasm faster than it ever has before, but he doesn’t stop “You think you can take it a bit longer?” And for some reason you do. And not only that, being so overstimulated turns you on so much that you end up begging with your eyes still rolled back from the high of your orgasm and your body still shaking “Mingi don’t fucking stop, please”.
And he doesn’t, but he does bend you over the mattress, your face sunken in the pillow. He has your ass up to the sky and he can’t help but suck his thumb and then stroke its entrance in circles while still banging your pussy. When you feel his finger entering your ass and trying to find and press his own cock through your flesh inside you, all the overstimulation that has built up finally overcomes you. “Mingi…something different is coming!” You shout ridiculously still pressed against the pillow. He doesn’t stop, he knows what is gonna happen and he wants to see it from the front row. And this is not going to take long, you just need a little push. “Come on babygirl, let me see it” he gasps while rocking his hips.
All of a sudden this heat that comes along with the orgasm mixes with a burning feeling in your clit. Mingi takes his mostly free hand to go down to it and press on really fast and really hard. You scream his name as if it was the last thing you would say. Your legs so week you can’t even keep yourself in all fours, your pussy clamping and drenching the whole bed with your squirt. “Jesus Christ baby, that is so fucking sexy. You’re such a slut huh? Wetting your bed like that. And this is all for me.”
A growl followed by a slap on your ass, this time very hard, nothing to do with the previous one on your face, announce his own orgasm. This one slap is meant to mark you as his, make himself stamp his own pleasure for you on your skin as if he could’t stay still. And then he slows down, pouring all his cum inside your pussy, while still fucking your asshole with his thumb in the same slowing pace.
He pulls out and you whine, feeling too empty all of a sudden. You think it is over and somehow you feel kinda disappointed “I thought you were gonna fuck my ass too” he can’t even finish to lean beside you because he falls apart in laughing tears “Are you for real? After this?” “I don’t know” you say, eyes looking down at Mingis body lying just by your side, you still down faced and breathing irregularly “I was ready for everything”.
Mingi takes your face and kisses you dearly while, again, smliling through your mouth and making you smile too. “I am not gonna fuck your asshole...” you pout, he smiles even wider. “…today. But I am going to clean you up”. He starts kissing you again, then going down your neck with tiny little pecks, he stops for a minute on your chest, your nipples and down to your bellybutton.
The pleasure this time is different. You know you are unable to cum anymore after squirting so hard, at least not in a couple of minutes without any stimuli. But this pleasure is just pleasure for you to enjoy without the orgasm as the reward. Just Mingi feeding you full with attention like this is just right, just enough. You anticipate his next kissing stop, you know what he is about to do and you burn inside with desire. “Mingi…” You pull his short pink hair at the time you push his face between your legs for him to eat you out only as a fucking professional rapper like him would do. The thought of him sucking you clean of his own cum is driving you nuts. “Shit Mingi, so good…” You are too sensitive right now, but somehow it still feels good to have him gently sucking you.
Once he finishes, he is now hard again, and not that you are surprised. You look up at him, asking with your gaze what you should do. He grins “Stay still babe, lay towards the headboard for me” you obey and he gets closer to you, towering you under his huge body and leaning forward, just to have your face aligned with his dick.
He starts stroking in a slow motion at first, then hurrying the pace as he watches you open your mouth while looking at him in the eyes. “I wanna cum on your face” he sighs while closing his eyes “And then I wanna piss all over your body”. At this point this does only not surprise you, but you ache for it too.
Your eyes meet, he is waiting for your approval. Your only answer being gulping, licking your lips and opening your mouth again while looking at his cock pointing at you. “Fuck” he manages to say. And then he cums hard, fast, all on your face and making it drip to your tits. “I am gonna drench you baby, say you want it. Tell me” “Mingi” keep crying, “I do want it so fucking bad…” Right this instant, after coming down from his climax, does he start showering you in his piss, moaning hard with his low voice a bit pitched this time, looking down at you getting covered. Your body suffering because of the temperature difference between the fluid and your skin, and thus making you tremble until he finally finishes his load.
He falls over you and rolls down until he can rest on your lap. “You are incredible” he says. You smile, proud of yourself and also proud of him. “So are you, baby” and hearing yourself saying “baby” reminds you something you’ve been wondering. “Yo Mingi, how come you so casually started calling me baby out of nowhere?” He looked up at you and gave you that smile of his that you’ve spent hours drawing. “I’ve dreamt of it so many times it came out naturally”.
He takes you to the bathroom to get a very needed shower. And under the warm water you think about your next dreams being as normal as his, quiter and maybe safer since from now on you would be sleeping next to Mingi.
Part 2 whenever
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liyawritesss · 10 months
Text
ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴜ
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Characters: Hope Mikaelson x Black!Stem!Reader
From: Legacies
Type: Drabble
Synopsis: Hope’s determined on not letting anyone else into her fragmented world. Yet, when things get overwhelming, she finds that you are the only person to soothe her.
Warnings: mild cursing, spoiler warning for legacies season 3-4, mentions of character death
A/N: my friend has been slowly but surely getting me ba k knto the TVD universe, and upon doing so I've rediscovered my crush on my favorite lil redhead Hope 🥺🥺 be nice to this i havent watched legacies in a HOT minute. Song Inspiration: “WAIT FOR U” by Future, ft. Drake & Tems, “Unthinkable” by Alicia Keys, “Flaws N’ All” by Sonta
Tags: @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @lulu-network @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @niyahwrites
Sign Up For My Taglist Here!
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Three fifty-seven is what reads in bold red letters on the digital clock that sits on Hope’s night stand. They burn against the back of her eyelids, yet do not promote any kind of sleep. They only prove as a reminder as to why she had not been graced with slumber.
There’s a picture that rests next to the clock. A candid photo taken by MG on one of their days into town to enjoy themselves as regular teenagers. Her eyes traced over every feature of herself in the picture; mouth wide with laughter and eyes shaped into crescents at the joke Caleb had made that she, for the life of her, could never remember. A boy sat next to her, head full of black curls and skin milky and freckled with perfectly imperfect blemishes that once made her heart swoon. 
She never gathered the courage to take the picture out of its frame. She never had the courage to let go of one of the few good memories she had of that time. When things were simpler - as simple as they could get in the life she led. When she could look at that boy and tell herself that she made the right choice in trusting him with her heart.
Imagine, having to kill the one person you wanted so desperately to love.
No, the redhead’s own voice echoed through her mind, which was both empty and becoming increasingly overwhelmed at the same time, I am not doing this tonight.
Hope slips from underneath her covers, slipping from underneath the weighted blankets that had failed to help in her mission for sleep, slipping from the warmth they provided. Her long sleeved shirt did nothing to shield her from the cool air that contrasted the warmth of her blankets, the still breeze of the room nipping at her bare legs. Only shorts adorned her bottom half, cut off mid-thigh and leaving her pale skin rippled with goosebumps in the process.
Perhaps she thought the cold would provide some sort of shock to her brain that would make her realize how tired her body was, how it begged to be allowed rest, but it proved all for naught. Now Hope was exhausted and cold, with no way of remedying the situation.
Well, there was one remedy.
Hope glanced at her phone that rested on the nightstand. Her eyes lingered on the device for a long time, her mind battling for reason. It’s four in the morning, she reasons, there’s no way she’s gonna pick up.
Yet, she remembers your bouts of insomnia and knows that you find yourself waking much earlier than you intend to for class anyway, and there’s a small part of her that reasons that it wouldn’t hurt to try.
So Hope hesitantly grabs her phone from the mahogany surface of her nightstand, unlocks the device with her fingerprint, and finds herself scrolling a bit too eagerly to find your contact information.
What would the people around her think if they saw her now, she wondered, frantically calling up the girl who she made it very clear with that there would be no possibility of a relationship in any near future? Would they think her mad? Would they call her delusional? Both were traits that certainly ran in her family, and she would not be surprised if a part of her had still remained that way after only recently returning back to her original self.
She finds your contact information, but her thumb all but hovers over the call icon that rests under your name. Perhaps she shouldn’t be a bother to you, Hope thinks. She’ll think I’m crazy, she thinks, and yet, perhaps it is that particular thought that drives her to press the icon anyway. Because if Hope was crazy for wanting to even hear your voice to calm her aching soul, then perhaps such a title that was placed upon the likes of her father wasn’t so bad.
One ring; the pit inside of her stomach grows in intensity. It seems like the wait between rings is even more agonizing than the actual wait for an answer.
Two rings; Hope is beginning to regret listening to the part of her that has a soft spot for you. Why did she have to remember your sleep schedule? Why did she have to get her hopes up?
Three rings: you won’t answer. You’re asleep, and if she hasn’t already interrupted your slumber, she would surely have to come up with some creative excuse to use tomorrow when the two of you met in class-
A monotone click sounds. Silence, for a few seconds, though to her they seem like hours.
Then, your voice sounds. 
“What the fuck, Hope,” you groan through the cellular device, and Hope’s aforementioned worry of awakening you is confirmed by the rustling of sheets and a following groan. She knows she should feel guilty, but the satisfying tingle that runs across her skin from hearing your voice takes away from any remorse she surely would have felt, “it’s…four in the fucking morning-”
“-I know,” Hope interjects, “I just…couldn’t sleep.”
There’s a pause; it’s intense, and Hope finds herself wondering what you’re thinking. Could you be silently cursing her out on the other end? She surely wouldn’t blame you if you were.
There’s more rustling that follows the pause, which causes worry to grow in her stomach, before she hears your voice again, “you want me to come down?”
“......could you?” She bites her lip, tugging at the skin on the pink area, and she doesn’t understand why she should be fearing rejection from you, as if you’d ever give her the pleasure of feeling such an agonizing sting to the heart.
“...yeah,” you finally answer, “yeah, just gimme a minute.”
There’s a blessing that comes with you staying a floor above Hope. It’s fairly easy to slip down the different dorm floors, she’s figured out, In the time between hanging up and waiting for you to come, Hope finds herself stuck in a state of overwhelming thoughts. They’re loud and varying in range, but all of them revolve around you.
Hope remembers when she rejected your advances a month prior. The expression on your face had been emblazoned into her mind, forever carved into memory how she had crushed your world. And yet, you’d been nothing but kind to the tribrid, still considering Hope and her feelings in every engagement the two of you had. You acted as if the rejection never took place; she wondered if this was your own coping mechanism for dealing with heartbreak. It certainly would be more healthier than any method Hope called herself using.
How could you still be so kind to her? How could you still be so willing to love her when she had expressed no possibility of reciprocation? Could you tell that Hope never meant as such? Did you still have hope in her?
How could one have hope in a desire openly denied? The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if such a question should be asked to you, or to herself.
A knock sounded on her door, bringing Hope from her state of entrancement. “Door’s open,” She mutters out loud enough to be heard, which prompts the soft click that sounds with the twist of the knob to her door. The creaking reveals you, slipping into her room, and almost immediately, your presence makes everything better.
There’s very little exchange of words from here on. It’s as if this is a practiced routine, one that had been engaged in for a while with the way you expertly slip into Hope’s bed, under Hope’s covers, and pull her into you. You place her head above your heart so that the melodic thumping of the muscle gives her mind something else to focus on. The way you operate with care in regards to her being has her heart aching, though she can’t decide if its from yearning for you or antipathy of the concept of loving someone.
She could contemplate on it another time, though, because the combination of your heartbeat and the low humming you’ve taken to doing has her body finally succumbing to her inclination of sleep. The last thing she remembers is you muttering words she’d never heard before - perhaps words to a poem or lyrics to a song you fancied.
I will wait for you, rings in her mind long after she’s succumbed to your gentle caress of her hair, and even in sleep, Hope wonders if that is a challenge you’re truly up to take.
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merakiui · 2 years
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Oh god, The Leech twins railing darling in church and getting caught by Rollo is not something I thought I'd be thinking this morning-- *sweats*
Okay but now that you're giving me these Rollo thoughts (TW: religious guilt-tripping, verbal abuse, torture (starvation, whipping, burning, etc.)) yea okay now imagine that Rollo finally gets to isolate darling from the world, and now he's dead-set on "correcting their ways". He'd start with whatever is the equivalent of Bible lessons in Twisted Wonderland, having them recite those Bible passages then guilt-tripping them for their whorish (that only goes on in his head, while in reality they never did (except if u count the times they involuntarily became the twin's plaything)) behaviors. I just know this man would be a pro in guilt-tripping, shaming darling in the most eloquent way as possible until darling themselves actually believes they're the one in the wrong. And even when they did do good, his praises only go with something along the lines of "this is still the baseline of basic decency, you'd do well not to forget it". Disobedience could lead to punishments such as not giving darling their meals and leaving them without food or water for days (and no, even if he did give them food in the first place, they'd still sit lower than him on the table or on the floor, take your pick). He wouldn't hesitate to even use drastic measures like whipping them or even as drastic as burning them with candle wax (I'm also thinking of him branding them with the devil's insignia just to accentuate his words of darling being the devil's spawn or somethin--).
Anyway yea, I rewatched the Hunchback of Notredame recently and have been playing Hellfire on loop so seeing that ask really opens the gate that floods my thoughts sdjksdkdslsdkl-- I still am curious about the leech twin railing darling in church tho, cause I once saw an art of Religion AU with Devil Floyd and Priest Jade just railing the fuck out Nun Darling lol
-heyyy 11
Omg yes!!! OTL I once saw a fanart of priest Azul with angel Floyd and demon Jade and...yes. <3 there was also this one where the twins were incubi. But priest Jade?!??!! OOOOOHHH!!! he would be the most corrupt priest...
The idea of a nun!darling working alongside priest!Rollo, only to be slowly, methodically corrupted by two demon twins is very good. And it's even better if they mark you and Rollo finds out. >:) Poor nun!darling tries so hard to stay pure and unaffected by temptation, praying each and every night and day, visiting Rollo for blessings, going to the confessional, but nothing ever seems to work. You've even tried warding them off with holy water and other blessed objects. Yet, despite everything, they still persist.
Aaa your thoughts are so good! Rollo would be so cruel and it's all to uphold his beliefs and the idea that he's pure, not at all tempted by you, and that you're the filthy one. I also like to imagine some of his punishments are quite medieval in nature. Rollo makes you wear a scold's bridle if he suspects you've been lying to him about all of the salacious deeds you most certainly did behind his back when he was kind enough to allow you a modicum of freedom. He tells you you ought to feel lucky that they no longer burn witches at the stake, for if the time period was different you'd find yourself engulfed in flames for such sinful witchcraft. He seems so delusional when he clings to his beliefs in this manner, and you suspect he genuinely believes that this is the right course of action.
I like to imagine that if you made a pact/contract with a demon of any type he would want to carve the contract stamp from your skin, even if such a thing can't be removed by mortal hands. He definitely forces isolation upon you as a punishment. You're put in a small, cold, cramped room with hardly any light, the window is blocked with thick iron bars, and you aren't permitted freedom until he thinks you've learned your lesson. Sitting there in the dark, alone with your thoughts, is bound to fray your sanity if the punishment is given to you enough times. And you might even find yourself accepting what little 'love' Rollo has for you at the end of it, if only to stop this torturous abuse and placate him, hoping to prove to him that you're pure and cleansed.
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unpopularbunny · 1 year
Text
This lowkey been a long time coming if I’m being honest. I am also a massive fucking hypocrite because I will avoid Baku/kiri/reader fics but this??? This right here??? 🙇‍♀️ I’m on the floor baby. (Ngl this has like a pinch of body shaming in it, just wanna preface by saying I do not hate any specific group of people based on any physical trait they may have. I just want more love for big girlies.)
Pairing: chifuyu/reader/baji
You already know: reader is a fat girl!!!!! everyone’s an adult, no set timeline, fuck it we ball 🏀, paranormal slutivity, your fave mans is a whore, public shenanigans, reader lowkey under the influence but there’s no dub/noncon, no beta reader again so if u point out any flaws ur being mean to me and if ur mean to me I’ll die, reblogs make u SO big brained 🗿🗿
Minors: ur mama know what you doin? I’m telling 💥
A/n: I’ll add a readmore when i get home and can make sure tumblr wont eat my post when I do.
🌹🌷🌹
you just wanted to be different for once. To ignore years of mass media telling you how to dress, to feel wild and FREE. you wanted tight revealing clothes and makeup all over your face, you wanted men to jaw drop and double take at the sight of your hips swaying.
This fantasy never got far and you never predicted you’d end up between two friends who always shared in the name of brotherly camaraderie.
Leeeets take it back about a week.
You weren’t by any means conservative in your day by day fashion, you just didn’t dress how you truly wanted to. You were always worried about the stares you’d get, stares that dared to ask ‘does she know she’s embarrassing herself?’. As time went on the urge to free yourself from the confines of stretchy jeans and sweaters was too much to ignore any longer. All it took was one night of drinking at home for you to blow nearly half a paycheck on clothes that were one inch away from getting you in legal trouble. You felt justified in this, it was your turn damnit!!! You were tired of hours doom scrolling on your phone and watching all the pretty skinny girls be drowned in affection, you wanted to make people notice you. You wanted to make men think about you as you walked passed, you deserved attention and people to fawn over you.
Needless to say, the next day you realized how fucking delusional your thinking was the night before.
You nursed a headache all through the day and when you got home you were greeted by your roommate in the livingroom looking like the cat that caught the mouse. Next to her on the couch was a plastic package, she shook it at you wiggling her eyebrows and you snatched it from her before she could even ask and shuffled to your room. You could hear her cackling. It’s not like you had any kind of bad blood with your roommate, you two were actually childhood friends, you just didn’t want anyone to see your secrets.
You showered and stood in your room, staring at the package on your bed before deciding fuck it and ripping it open. You couldn’t even remember what all you ordered anyway. Most of the articles of clothing were black, save for some racy sets of underwear you thought looked cute. You refused to believe any of it could fit you, it seemed so….small. There was no way in hell you were going to give up now though, you spent all that fucking money so there was no reason not to try the clothes on.
A mistake really.
They fit you far too good.
Sure, it was tight, but not uncomfortably so, in fact the tightness felt comforting in a way? The tops hugged your curves and even though your tummy peaked out at the bottom, you thought it looked cute in a way. The skirts wouldn’t stay down, rolling up your ass when you paced your room, you’d definitely have to wear a jacket with those. The pants needed belts, your waist to hip ratio was too different for them to stay up. They felt tigh and constricting on your hips and thighs, but there was plenty of waist room. After posing a bit in your mirror you sort of lost yourself for a bit. Falling in love with your curves and admiring how your body had so many wonderful attributes.
You almost screamed when someone’s knocked on the door.
You failed to lock it and it was your downfall.
Your roommate was all gasps and awes’ at your state. She paced around you like a tiger and assaulted you with compliments, no matter how you tried to shush her and make excuses, she wouldn’t hear it. She made you re-try on all the clothes so she could see them all. It felt like you were back to school shopping with your mom, except this time she wasn’t forcing you into bullshit khakis and polos. It actually turned into a bunch of fun as she gave you tips for accessorizing and hair styling.
When all was calmed down and you two were on the couch she took your weakness and vulnerability as a chance to strike like the snake she is.
She insisted you two go out this weekend!
You couldn’t even shoot her down, she had just spent the last hour boosting your ego and self esteem that you mumbled out a small ‘I guess’. She clapped her hands in glee and started firing off names of bars and clubs and she got the same responses from you every time ‘you pick’ and ‘I’ve never been there before.’ The most you told her is that you wanted to go somewhere you wouldn’t be recognized by coworkers or other friends and colleagues.
She just threw her head back and laughed, saying that you wouldn’t be recognizable with those clothes on anyway.
You couldn’t help but feel a little paranoid about what she had in store for you.
🌹 🌷 🌹
The week went by too fast for your liking and every time you tried to back out of the plans you were strongarmed by your roommate. She wasn’t going to let you go that easy. When Saturday arrived you tried avoiding her, but she was more determined than you’ve ever seen her.
You gave in and let her do with you as she pleased.
She picked out your outfit from the new clothes you bought and dug around your closet for some platforms you’d bought years ago but never worn (amazingly they still fit regardless of your calves.). She styled your hair and even did your makeup (you still got to pick the colors (: ), you felt like a sacrifice being painted up before the ritual.
How close to this assumption you were.
The club she dragged you two was some hole in the wall in shibuya with low lights and loud music. You were sweating before you even went in and it was only hotter once you two were inside. You could feel the bass shoot through your entire body and you felt so nervous and couldn’t look anywhere but the floor. Your friend ordered you both a few drinks, or rather ‘liquid courage’ she dubbed it. You were thankful for it, seeing as after a few drinks you felt much more comfortable in your skin than before. Your friend excused herself to the bathroom and you smiled and waved her off as she went, taking a few more sips of whatever new fruit concoction was in front of you.
After a few moments you were occupied on both sides by two new people. You glanced to your right and had to look up to see the man, Jesus Christ, even with platforms on he still had a few inches on you. He had long silky black hair, brown eyes, and a smile so sinister you would normally feel scared. You smiled right back and when you glanced to your left you were a few inches taller than other man. This man had short cut black hair, the cutest green eyes you’d ever seen, and ear piercings. Speaking of ears, the tips of his seemed to be tinted a little….pink?
You weren’t sure what to do now that men approached you first so you went back to looking down at your drink and sipping at it. You were a little hunched over and caught bits and pieces of the men having a conversation over your head. ‘You like this one?’ ‘Baji don’t objectify women like that, its kinda gross.’ ‘I’m just trying to help is all’ His laugh caught you off guard and you jumped.
“Eh? What’s wrong girlie? Did we scare you?” You glanced to your right and..baji? Was leaning down into your personal space. When you leaned back you were leaning into his friend, who didn’t exactly seem to hate your body pressing into his.
“No- you’re just a little…close is all” you were surprised anyone could hear you over the music.
“C’mon baji let’s le-“ baji waved his hand and chifuyu stopped.
“Wanna dance with us?” He was pressing himself against your side, his hand gliding up your thigh towards your hips. He laughed at the confused face you responded with, “yeah girlie, both of us, unless that ain’t your type thing. I just assumed on account of how you dressin and all.” You couldn’t tell if your face was hot from being drunk or the embarrassment.
You should feel outraged at the fact that he assumed you were a loose woman but…..was that such a bad thing? You wanted to feel desired, you wanted to be lusted after, and it was happening. He wasn’t using force, in fact his hand was merely resting at the small of your back rubbing small circles. You were still in a public place so it’s not as if he could do anything to you, you didn’t dress up to weigh the pros and cons. You downed the rest of your fruity drink and nodded, relinquishing yourself to whatever ungodly fate awaited you.
“Atta girl,” He took one hand while his friend took your other and gently led you away from the bar, “we’re gonna have so much fun with you tonight sweetie.” It was like micro-dosing danger. Every smile and laugh having some sinister undertone.
But god was it fun.
🌹 🌷 🌹
You got the hang of dancing in clubs a few years ago, it wasn’t hard, it didn’t take any special skill. You just needed to know what to do with your hips and hands.
Which you were currently struggling to do.
You’d danced with other men before, but mostly one at a time, never quite….like this.
You had your back against baji, his hands were on your hips to guide you. He was guiding you to sway against him, every so often pressing his hardon against your ass. one of your arms were up and behind you, wrapped around his neck to keep him close. Your other arm was front of you, draped over the shoulder of his more reserved friend (who you still had to get a name from), whom was doing things that contradicted the cool demeanor he gave off. He was pressed as close as he could be, his pelvis pushed against yours so you got a good idea of the fun he was having. Even if he didn’t do the best job of showing it. He was so close his nose would brush yours every so often and you expected him to kiss, but he didn’t. His hands were at your waist, holding a little tighter than expected, as if he were giving your exposed flesh squeezes here and there.
Something about this felt so shamelessly erotic.
You were so wrapped up that you didn’t give a thought to your friend who had gone to the bathroom, she probably had seen you by now and didn’t want to interrupt. You felt so transfixed on the green eyes infront of you and the hands sliding down your waist to your thighs and pulling up the edges of your skirt-
“Shhh don’t make a scene-“ you had seized up but Baji’s guiding hands kept you moving, “you like this don’t you?” It was his friend, his voice was much firmer, “That’s why you’re here, like this, between us. You want it.” His hand was under your skirt and sliding up up up. So fucking slow that you shifted just to get his hand between your legs faster. Just as his fingers brushed the forming wet spot on your panties, you could hear baji laugh against your neck on the other side of you.
“How the fuck are you so good at spotting the good ones chifuyu” was that his name? A man had his fingers pressed against your clit and you’re just now learning his name?
“Eh? What do you mean so good?” He shot back, his hand was in your panties, rubbing and petting at your clit while having a normal conversation as if you weren’t between them.
“Look at her!” You moaned and grinded against chifuyus hand, doing your best to make them focus on you again, “Perfect size to split between us and such a cute cheeks!” One of baji’s hands came up and pinched your cheek for emphasis.
“Do you honestly believe that every decision i make is backed by some deep analysis?” He laughed, “I guessed!” You arched as two fingers slid inside of you and curled, any noise you made was cut off by chifuyu kissing you. His kiss was desperate. The fingers inside you moved, slowly and carefully- god his tongue was inside your mouth now and you were suffocating but your head was absolutely floating. It was just so hard to keep focus on your surroundings. So many sensations- you could feel slick beginning to coat your thighs as his hand moved faster and you got sloppier. When he pulled away your lipstick was smeared on his mouth and there was a hazy look in his eyes. He buried his face against your neck on one side and baji was on the other. Chifuyu hand was between your legs and one of bajis hands had found it’s way under your shirt and was giving your nipple an unforgiving pull and twist. You three were pressed so close together that no one could really figure out what was happening, not that anyone was going to stop it.
They owned the bar after all.
Chifuyu tilted his hand and when his thumb brushed your clit your legs wobbled and baji had to focus on keeping you upright against him. Chifuyu smiled and laughed, the first you’d seen tonight, and you felt embarassed all over again.
“Hey! Don’t go falling apart on us sweet heart, we aren’t even close to being done with you yet.” Baji was encouraging you and the whine you let out only encouraged him tenfold.
Rather than fight against the waves and risk drowning, you went with the flow and closed your eyes and relaxed into them. You’d never had such a lavish experience of having two pretty boys give you attention like this. It was way past overstimulating but not in a bad way, you’d worry about that in the morning. Right now you your moans were escalating with the music. When said music began to dip but your voice didn’t follow suit, one of bajis hands wrapped tightly around your mouth while chifuyu increased pace.
“Thaaats it,” chifuyu whispered into your neck, “Make a mess for me.”
“You might wanna hold on tight girlie,” Baji mocked, “He overachieves.” You moved your arms so both of them were wrapped around chifuyu.
You had never been more thankful for loud ass music more than now. Had it not been for whatever club mix was on, everyone would hear the sloppy wet lewd noises of the three fingers that were buried inside of you. Any words or pleas you voiced were muffled and baji took on the sole responsibility of holding you up while chifuyu gladly drove you to climax.
They were both so goddamn obscene in their own right. Not only did they casually whisper conversation to eachother about all the wonderful things you three could get up to together, but they each had individual plans for you. Baji wanted to try having you all to himself for a day to see what other kinds of clothes he could put you in and then rip off of you. Chifuyu mentioned something about ‘giving support’ under his desk while he had stressful days at work. Baji definitely agreed with that and had the fucking drive to ask what you felt like inside.
“Inside? Like heaven.” Chifuyu made it sound like a sin, “She’s so slippery and soft.” Stop stop stop! “What about her mouth?” As if on unspoken command, baji shoved two fingers right into your mouth and pet at your tongue. You drooled so easily and licked without hesitation.
“She’s already drooling,” He shoved his fingers deeper, he did it so fast you gaged and coughed, “Gag reflex? We can fix that sweetheart.” Danger alarms began to fire off in your head, unfortunately they went ignored in lieu of the heat in your lower stomach. You were so close and desperate you just let them carry on, anything to keep the fingers inside of you.
Your whole body seized up when you came and you were truly astonished you didn’t blackout completely. They laughed in amazement at the sight of your eyes rolling back and the way you arched. You were putty in their hands, laying limp back against baji but still holding onto chifuyu.
Maybe going out wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
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sunsetrubdowns · 5 months
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Also. Hi. I remembered I can talk as much as I want to on here. Do you want to hear about this guy I kind of broke up with but kind of wasnt really dating to begin with and will probably have to break up with again for good measure. This actually turned into an insanely long post because it's an insane situation so I'm putting it under a cut because I love you and your scrolling experience and it's probably incoherent anyways
So. Well you may or may not be aware but I was couch surfing for like 3 weeks in September and a friend of mine who I met through work helped me out a lot with moving my stuff out of my apartment and into storage and helping me get my shit together. And in the weeks leading up to me moving out/while I was homeless we spent a lot of time together (like. Pretty much every day LOL) because I needed to be constantly distracted and he apparently had all the free time in the world. Cool!
Now it's important to give the context that he had asked me out back in like June and I said no because not only did I think we had very little chemistry and he was very needy but ALSO I was going through one of the worst depressive periods in my life. Really just was not the vibe at the time. Also my read on the situation was 100% correct like I was right about everything lol.
So you know obviously I'm aware that he has a little crush on me this whole time but I'm in a truly delusional headspace where I'm like well this is not so bad :) I'm having fun hanging out with him so whatever happens, happens :). And what happens is that WHILE I am still homeless we end up having a little feelings talk where I'm like well this is nice but I've kind of got a lot going on right now and I need to settle my life situation out before I'm comfortable getting into anything official or serious. And he's like yeah I totally understand that. But then maybe a week later after I secure and move into my place he IMMEDIATELY. And I mean like immediately. Starts calling me his girlfriend. Not to me but to other people. Like going around to my coworkers and people at work to be like btw we're together now :). Which made me kind of uncomfortable but I just brushed it off because I am a huuuuuge pushover and I was like, sure I guess we're together. Even though I'm very private about my personal life and it took me like a good month to refer to him as my boyfriend out loud and I didn't even MENTION him to my best friends (hi besties) for a couple weeks after that. Because I was like damn I don't even know what to say. Also he never even attempted to do anything more than hold my hand a few times so we were still just hanging out the way we had been to begin with.
And THEN he started coming to the bowling alley where I work every single night and just like.... hanging around for hours and hours until we closed to drive me home (6 blocks away) and to talk to me while I'm working and on my breaks. And when he drove me home after work every SINGLE night he would park and walk me to my door and unless I was very clearly like yeahhh I'm exhausted Goodnight Bye :) he would often invite himself into my apartment just to hang around until I was like. Okay I have to go to bed because it's after 1am please leave. And it got to the point where I felt like I never had any time to myself and my social battery was constantly at 0 and I was also spending way more money than was within my budget because he was dragging me out to eat and do things constantly and to go to Disneyland and shit and also at the place where I work every single day and not leaving no matter how clearly Im like hey sorry I'm just. soooo tired right now and work is so busy etc. There were only THREE days in October that I had totally to myself. I could barely even find time to spend with my roommate I had just moved in with and he also was not really seeming to spend time with any of his own friends when he'd had an incredibly active social life like, just a month ago.
It was starting to really freak me out that I felt like he was trying to replace not only his previous long term girlfriend who broke up with him earlier this year but also his entire social circle. With lil old me. And I felt like he was trying to force a level of familiarity with me that simply was not there like... man you don't even KNOW me like that don't talk to me like you know me. Don't talk to me like you know me when you're also trying so hard all the time to like, impress me and prove something to me.
It got to the point by mid October that I was like desperate for time to myself to decompress and process things and most of my mental energy was going to trying to find ways to avoid him and scripting a breakup speech in my head. And instead of trying to talk to ME he would go into my workplace and try to ask my work friends. While they were working. For advice on what to do when I seemed distant or unhappy. And even though they really only ever told him to just communicate with me he decided to wait until the day before Halloween to be like "I realized that I was maybe doing to much by going to hang around your workplace every day and also it's been a month and a half but I want to officially ask you to be my girlfriend now :)" and was somehow genuinely shocked when I said no. And basically outlined everything I've said here to be like I need to be left alone or I'm going to kill myself a little bit so please leave me alone.
But it seems like what he took out of the conversation was "I need to take some naps and then I'll feel better and then we can go back to normal :)" because he just kept being like "how do you feel how are you doing you look better are you feeling rested" and continuing to go to my coworkers and my roommate at work and asking about me and show up at the bowling alley frequently and text me continually as I just brushed him off over and over and eventually stopped replying to his messages. Until finally last week I was working on a day I normally don't work and he came in and I, again, kind of brushed him off when he came to just like do small talk with me. So he went to my roommate who was also working to be like "oh I think I'm going to talk to them today we need to talk but I don't know if they just want to be left alone or not..." while she (blessed angel that she is) just refused to give him any real information. But then he just kept like, trying to chitchat with me while I was working so I started brushing him off again and he ended up going to my roommate AGAIN to vent about me. And then left and texted her all this stuff about how he doesn't know if I like him anymore but he's just going to leave me alone and try to get over me etc and how he's been so stressed over stuff with his parents etc etc and framing it as if HE is breaking things off with ME. But since then has continued to go to her to ask about me and talk about how he's trying to get over me and heartbreak and whatever and etc. But has not expressed anything at all to me personally in any capacity since I told him I needed space.
Meanwhile I've gone on multiple dates with someone I genuinely really like and who has slept over at my apartment multiple times LOL. And there are so many little details of weird shit that I've had to cut for time here but like genuinely what the hell man
Anyways have I mentioned that this man is 34 years old. Because he's 34 years old. And if you've read all this you are so cordially invited to share your thoughts and/or guess his chart placements in the replies. Funny as fuck situation that I'm in
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volturiprincess · 2 months
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My delusional mind at 12 am series:
So I have two series that I do, one at 1 am (where I just end up staying awake more later) and another at 12 am where I tell myself I am going to go to sleep "early". Same thing just at different times.
Anyways I wanted to share something, you see I love stickers, I been dying to buy some but haven't found any that have caught my eyes until a friend recommended a website and well I am internally grateful for her. I been searching, day and night for some really good twilight stickers, but all I find is your main Twilight characters, NO Volturi or whatsoever, until this website, and well let me show you some of these stickers
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These are literally real ones I found THAT in fact you can buy. You know the excitement that arose in me when I saw a Felix sticker, and from my favorite scene of him at the same time. I was like a little girl on Christmas. And lets not forget freaking Alec, Demetri and Carlisle with tattoo's. As I said these are real stickers you can buy, there are more Volturi stickers but these ones were the ones that caught not only eyes but my heart, specifically the Alec and Felix ones.
I never knew I needed the mental picture of Alec with tattoo's but now I am obssed with the idea. I saw a post that Alec would be a car or motorcycle guy (totally agree) but picture this, Alec leaning against motorcycle with a leather biker jacket on and helmet in hand and to top it off he has tattoo's🥵. That image is now in my mind forever.
And don't even get me started on Felix, that man would freaking need a Hummer or something because he's a big guy, big guys need a big car. Or knowing what a cocky son of a muffin he is, would have a motorcycle and ware a tight fitted short sleeve shirt that just hugs all of his muscles in the right places with biker pants (I have officially lost my mind now). Like sir what the hell, why do I let my mind wonder like this.
Anyways just wanted to say this.
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adambja · 8 months
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So I got this question under my post
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@edeninabox I can't mention the blog here so anyways I will mention them under that comment they sent
This post
And the answer is
Honey basically your mind can't tell you you are being delusional with your desires YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN MIND lmao
Like ofc you are the one who thought you are delusional with your desires once and twice or more and it got into your subconscious so take responsibility for your own mind and thoughts but Also remember not to identify yourself with them they are just thoughts
One last thing what I know is delusional in this community is actually a good word for getting your desires and BLA BLA BLA
But as a psychologist I think the right word is "imaginative" and this word comes from imagination why? Because when I was studying each mental disorder they were all about delusions lmao!!! And I came here and this was just weird to me then I realized I was right about it
Anyways we talked about the "why?" Also "the source of the issue" and " what you should know about it" which was "taking responsibility"
NOW WHAT IS THE SOLUTION??
look the solution is telling yourself and affirming that you are imaginative and this world is actually built on imagination not all that BS desperate people talk about also read my post about the rules and what you can understand about the void but really focus about the ones related to religions cause EVEN RELIGIONS MENTIONED THIS
And it's done babes byeee
Have a great day/night 🤭🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
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yxami · 10 months
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Yamiiiiii!! Sorry if I have spelling mistakes, I translated everything from my language! But i really wanted to tell you this alternate reality ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ :33
So, I just imagined a single reader parent with a little son, and the kid at his school tells everyone that Kauno, the most famous man in the whole country, goes to his home every day, always with a new toy or a bunch of candy!
Obviously causes a lot of controversy around the small kid’s world. Some ask him to buy them expensive toys to check if it's true, others say that their parents would die of a heart attack if the attractive Kauno was after them, and most get mad at him for being a liar. When he tells his teacher about his parent's delusional lover, the young man is distracted writing on his work papers like: “Wow, that’s awesome. You have a big imagination in that head. Now go to your desk and finish your macaroni craft, all right?”.
The reader's son gets very upset how everyone calls him a liar, because he’s not!! Literally yesterday his parent, Kauno and he dined in the small kitchen, like every night. His parent ignoring Kauno, Kauno talking for his parent, and he hiding the broccoli from his Paw Patrol plate. They even look like a family!! well, the only one who thinks that is Kauno. The boy thought so too, but being treated like a liar by his classmates, and that his parent worrying more for an ant than to Kauno, makes him doubt.
Anyway, when he comes home after school holding his parent's hand, seeing how Kauno receives them pretending to be the housewife, the kid gets sad that no one believes him.
“Kauno, why the fuck do you go into the kitchen if you can't even fry a fucking egg??!” his parent yelled to him opening the windows to let the smoke out.
“Now I can't feed my own family?” Kauno asked offended putting his hands on his waist revealing his pink hearts apron.
“How fucking many times do I have to tell you!?? We are NOT a family, you stupid psycho!!”
"Don't yell in front of him! It hurts the children's growth”
“Don't tell me how to raise my own child!!”
The little boy goes to his room dragging his backpack ignoring the screams. Well, maybe his classmates were right, Kauno isn’t his family. So why did he take a photo of him and his parent asleep while he smiled with joy and hung it framed in the living room? “It's the family photo!” Kauno said happily when he and his parent saw the picture when they woke up. That day when Kauno left to shoot a commercial for a toothpaste, his parent threw the picture to the trash.
Plus, Rachel from C says that if a family doesn’t have discussions, it is not normal, she heard that from her father when he found her mother kissing the gardener.
Maybe they really are a family, one with discussions as Rachel from C says.
Very good idea, I love the length of this too
I don’t think reader and kauno would fight that aggressively where they’re yelling at each other and I wouldn’t write reader to curse in-front of their own kid either cuz no 😭
I love this idea tho,
Am I a big fan of reader’s with kids or being pregnant or anything to do with kids? No I absolutely hate it 😭
But this was a good one
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rainbowangel110 · 6 months
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Episode 26 of Pokemon Horizons! New arc let's go!!!
Now for the record, I absolutely love the Dokimeki Diary Opening, the new one can't be that goo-
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(;O_o) Oh shit it is that good.
They fr put half the budget into this omg I LOVE THE VISUALS HERE HOLY CRAP- (the song is alright, 8/10) but my god does the song fit the theme
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Hmmm. Gay?
Listen they're on Orio's Metagross flying through the skies behind the rest of the crew, Mollie's Chancy right there too- Like come on you see it right??
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*inhales* OH HE'S SO HAVING AN ARC TRUST ME HERE OMG AMITHIO COME ON DUDE. THE FUCKING LYRIC TOO- "Now run forth! Towards my future!" like if that's not a hint I dunno what is. I should have screenshot his face after this part, cuz like hello?? It's so happening sooner or later. I am not delusional okay you guys have to trust me-
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Okay Grandma, you got it! I love her character she's so nice!
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The whimsy. The plodding along. Smile on it's face. Not a damn braincell behind those eyes. I am already attached.
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Uh oh, is someone jealous Sprigattito? Well yeah, I saw this coming, Liko is obviously concerned for Terrapagos and Sprig here is gonna take it hard, being her first mon and all.
Plus. It's a cat. They like their attention.
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JUMPSCARE
Also Hattenna flying out of the hoodie omg. Tiny little thing.
Anyways I didn't screenshot the next scene but Liko and Dot talked about how Terrapagos has finally woken up after decades of sleep inside the pendant. Of course it's curious. Baby didn't even eat the food the other mons were eating, it went for some berries below decks. Something that pokemon long ago ate. Something familiar to it.
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Same, can't tell you how many times I've done some late night reading and had this happen to me (minus the books as a pillow) (no reason I thought this was funny)
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ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME LITTLE GUY WHAT ARE YOU DOING OMG
Not shown here but it climbed all the way to the top and started calling out. To Lucius probably. Again, this little guy just woke up after a REALLY long time and probably doesn't know that Lucius is most likely... dead.
And considering the mystery behind what happened to Lucius, plus the recent revelation that the Explorers were his friends, we could assume he met a depressing end. Oh buddy wait till it finds out
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Anyways Liko decided to just. CLIMB UP THERE TO SAVE THE LITTLE GUY. I mean yeah sure it was gonna slip and fall off and she didn't have time to call anyone BUT STILL
Also nice catch Grandma. Quick shoutout to Sprigattito for headbutting the door leading to the balcony which alerted Diana.
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Alright, the picture seals it. They are related. The fucking intro also alludes to it too, with Liko, her mom, and Diana getting surrounded by energy from the pendant, and a very quick flyby of Lucius. With their startling blue eyes clear as starlight.
The same shade that all three of them share.
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You get the point.
ALSO NEW DRIP!!!.... for a couple minutes before she realizes that Sprigattito feels neglected after a full day of her chaseing after the little turtle boi. Which is actually very important, we've seen just how much she cares about her mons, and it's the reason why Olivia and G-Moltress trusted her (well okay Moltress went with her after seeing Terrapagos.) We also got a potential reason behind seeing the memories of Lucius due to the pendant, Liko caring about them had a reaction in Terrapagos. Good to know.
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Some things never change.
Very reminesent of the first episode and how they bonded. Liko finding Sprigattito. Her talking to it and explaining how she still cares for Sprig, even after everything they've been through. And the little cuddle and bap.
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HISUI NAME DROP!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!
Anyways, they were discussing how'd they even find the mons, Lapras, Enti, Kleevor, and of course, Shiny Rayquazza. Enti being a roaming legendary, Kleevor being an ancient mon in of itself, though it's possibly in Sinnoh, scaring the locals based on the picture of it. And Lapras... it's in the ocean. Who knows where it could be in the first place (someone said Alolah is possible which I agree with)
We do know that Rayquazza is still here, in Galar, thanks to Dot. We're still getting him, and after that... who knows! (I just hope Roy gets his dream come true with catching it and all)
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Oooooooohhhh is Amitheio still upset after that battle from last episode??? Damn that must have hit hard, losing a battle like that, and then Friede outright telling him that he's been holding back which what the fuck my man you don't just say that-
Pretty neat episode! Nothing too hard to digest, I loved it! Lets see where this new arc takes us!
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poppyseedgirly · 1 year
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on a hazy thursday
last night i dreamt of you again and i was moving my belongings back into an apartment with you and it all felt wrong and i said what are we doing this is not right, because nothing will ever be the same again and i’m still coping with that and trying to understand what these dreams are asking me to answer
and if i was even proposed that idea, if that was even an option in this reality, would i even want that? and i know the answer, but it still shakes me of what once was, and something can be so lost
i think i was beginning to feel a shift, but i was so delusional, devoted, under a spell as my best friend said
i think in my core i would have stayed with you even through the muckiest of muck
which also very much scares me, and i think is one of the core lessons i am uncovering
i lost myself more than i ever realized
were we ever on the same page? i think so yes at times
my mom says everyone deals with things in their own ways and she wishes she could take this pain away from me
but i tell her no, the only one who can get me through this is myself
maybe that’s not entirely true though, i’m reminding myself it’s okay to ask for help, to lean on others. something that was so guilt driven into me for many years
i pick at my leg hairs with tweezers when i am on the phone because it’s at least a productive kind of picking
i got a new bra today and it fits okay but the cups still gap a little bit and that’s just how it goes
i’m still learning to love my body, love my self, feel beautiful again
i close my eyes in the shower (will an everything shower help me?) and open them in the mirror and when i brush my teeth i always think you have sad eyes to my reflection and we are working on that
i trim my bangs and don’t mind if they are a little crooked
my nails are long and healthy, (a happy habit i broke, i used to pick at my nails all the time) but need a trim and new polish too
i hold my grandmothers hand to help her balance and i think some days i’m finding mine too
she reminds me she didn’t start driving till she was fifty, and i was called old today yet everyone also says i don’t look my age and being in your twenties is confusing and lonely
lonely is a strange word though, i’m not sure if i’ve felt it yet, yearning, wanting, ?
all of my t shirts hold some kind of heavy memory and i wish i could just get rid of them all and start new, i suppose i can, but i always get rid of t shirts and then i never have them when i want, i feel too small in just a t shirt though so i don’t wear them anyways
but i really wish i could just go topless, finish my evening in my underwear, but this is not my home and maybe nothing ever has been, i’ve never owned anything truly
but nothing can be owned anyways
i find comfort in a universal feeling
i find comfort in an understanding
i find myself doubtful of love these days but i also know it’s the one thing i believe in
love comes in many forms and types
i wonder about unconditional love
love with my best friend, relatives, my cat, myself, the world
i wonder about
but i don’t wonder too far, i will not chase, i will let things come, let things be
i will never beg for love again i hum in my head
i think how you ended things confuses me the most, but, i’m working on being okay with that
i’m told to be angry, and i should be angry
but i am a slow burning kettle, a drinkable temperature
i’m not sure where i’m going with this
i keep a ring on my pointer finger now
it’s a bit loose so it always falls off, rolls across the floor, into the laundry bin, but so far i have always found it
i keep putting it back on until i lose it, if it’s lost so be it, im learning it’s okay to let go, enjoy it while it lasts
it’s the same ring i lost when packing my belongings up from the apartment
i found it again in a duffel bag when unpacking clothes
it has to mean something
i have always been very good at finding things so maybe i don’t have much to worry about
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thejamiei · 1 month
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Jamie’s♥️ Diary … 📕 26/03/2024
Last Night After I Was Here, I Thought That Maybe, Being The Most Intelligent Person Born To This Day In The World’s History, That Tays💋 Might Be Interested In What Is Actually Going Through My Mind For Once … 🙂
I Woke Up At 7:00pm To-Day To Watch One Of My Fav Shows Ever, MAFS Where I Observe In Total Real Life People’s Different Behaviours And How They Think And Process Different Challenges Being Married.
3am To 3pm Is Twelve Hrs, Plus 4 Equals 16 Hrs Sleep. Something Must Of Been On My Mind For It To Shut Down Like That. It’s Not Like I’m Not Human, My Brain Just Went Blank And I Had A Dream That I Owned The Biggest Train Set In The World. Strange.
Anyways After Watching A Doco On Domestic Violence, Me And My Mom Had A Discussion About Taylor❤️ And How Worried I Was That Taylor❤️ Could Be Involved In A Domestic Violence Situation With That Big Dumb Stupid Travis. My Mum Has Finally Accepted Our Relationship After Multiple Trips To Psych Ward Since 2016 Simply Because I Came Out And Said I Love Tays💋 And They Thought I Was Having Delusional Thoughts But They Soon Found Out I Know About Psychiatry And They Diagnosed Me With Above Average Intelligence And I Had To Let Them Believe That I’m A Huge Fan 🪭.
Jesus, I Didn’t Tell Them The Facts Otherwise I Would Be Given A Depot And That’s Why In 2017, I Was Silent Being Stuck Homeless With Nowhere To Go Until 2019.
However, The Vault Of Knowledge Got Broken Into Again And All The Top Secret Literature And Items Got Stolen, Including 3 IPhones And The Jamesi♥️ Coins. So, I Had To Rebuild It All. Then I Found Out That Joe Was Still On The Scene And It Was Like The Biggest Stab In The Back Yet.
I Pushed Through Because I Know I Am Right And Developed A Near Psychopathic Behaviour Because I Always Have Taylor’s❤️ Back And All My Emotions Nearly Became Cold, Having Dealt With Man After Man After Man. I Refuse To Let Them Destroy Me After What I Have Been Through, Not Too Many People Would Come Out On Top Or Recover From Such Extensive Traumas.
I’m Still Worried About Tays💋, The Only Reason A Person Would Choose Big Dumb Stupid Men Is Because They Are Insecure And Then They Feel Obligated To Make It Work When Most People Are Saying She’s The One Who’s Wrong, That Is Abuse And Unacceptable. I Said To My Mom She Has No-One To Turn To Except Me And She Agreed Because She Knows How Long My Relationship With Taylor❤️ Is Going On With And The Symptoms And Signs Of Domestic Violence Are Exhibited All Over This Travis Kelce Deceit.
So, I Go To Facebook And The Many Agencies In America Have Now Found Out About My High Level Of Intuition And Still Offer Some Degree Of Secrecy. However, All This Has Not Actually Been About Me And Until Taylor❤️ And Me Get Together, I Must Continue To Have Her Back. She Is Always My First Priority And Even Though, Mysteries Are Kept Secret For Very Good Reasons.
The Secret Is, She Has To Come See Me Which Is Virtually Impossible.
And This Is Something I Really Don’t Like Because The Best People In Life Are Free.
They Don’t Need Someone Else To Organise A Meeting. How Freakin Fake Can You Get. This Is Why I Never Want To Become Famous And Besides, I’m Not Scared Of Nothing.
Well, Maybe Water, Horses And Clowns.
he💋 he💋 he💋 … 🥹
All Her Big Docile Dumb Pathetic Men Have Nothing On Me. People Die For A Reason And The Jamesi Corporation’s Cybersecurity Is Second To None.
I Just Wanted Intelligent People To Know I Am Real And I’m Not Giving The Secrets To Mysteries Away Because Of The Huge Responsibly That Entails.
Alas, Because Of My Life Experience In Dealing With Mental Illnesses, I Will Help Anyone Who I Come Across.
Taylor❤️ Being Told She’s The Problem Is Unacceptable And Her Indications Toward Depressive Disorders Are Misdiagnosed And Unfounded. It’s Because Other People Lead Her To Believing These Things Which Results In Unwanted Verbal Abuse From Other People.
Now, That’s What Causes Real Depression And Once She Knows, She Can Do Something About It.
There Is Tremendous Strength With Dealing With Problems And Standing On Your’ Own Two Feet Coming Out On Top.
I Can’t Wait For Her To Wake Up And F_ck Off All These Pricks That Mislead Her.
It’s Not Being Mean Or Nasty, It Is Showing That You’re Not Taking Or Tolerating Anymore Deceit From Them Putting You Down.
It Is A Real Sign Of Strength.
I Know Because I Have/Do It Everyday.
I Must Stay Strong For Taylor❤️,
So She Can Be Mentally Strong For Herself … ✨
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Love Jamie♥️
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