#i can't believe it's been two years since dating start!'s release | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

venerawrites · 28 days

Note

I cant

I cant anymore bro

Shino stans are so real

I need more of that man🤝

I need a fic of shino being jealous of his s/o's childhood boy best friend may be sfw or nsfw

BROSKI IS CUTE AND DOESNT EVEN KNOW IT 💋💗

author's note: thank you so much for this request! I decided to write it as a short sfw scenario, so I do hope you like it! Tbh, I am recently becoming a Shino stan girl, but I still feel he is one of the most difficult characters to write for lol x

warnings: none really (BUT some mentions of being intimate, nothing really nsfw) ; still just in case MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (18+)

A loud giggle left your lips and your hand flew towards Shikamaru's shoulder, a low grunt leaving him at the contact. A small blush covered his cheeks, while his eyes focused on the little stones, which he kept kicking with the edge of his shoes.

"I can't believe you said that!", you exclaimed, before another chuckle rumbled from your chest, "You asked her what her favourite cough medicine is?"

Your best friend's face became even redder of the memory and for a second, he regretted sharing with you how his date last night went. He rolled his eyes, his mouth forming a pout.

"I didn't know what to ask... Man, dealing with women is such a drag!"

His words earned him another playful slap from you, which he partly managed to dodge by moving to the side. His hand moved towards your wrist and before you knew it, he spun you around, so you were pressed against his chest, while his arm was wrapped around your torso, keeping you in place.

"Shika, let me go!", you squirmed in his grasp, a gasp leaving your lips once his hand pressed against that one ticklish spot on the side of your waist.

"Are you going to stop hitting me and making fun of me?", he asked with a serious expression, yet his voice carried a note of playfulness. Once you shook your head no, his hand found your ticklish spot again, this time squeezing and you immediately laughed, wiggling in his arms. Shikamaru, however, didn't seem to show even an ounce of mercy, his fingers dancing over your clothed skin.

"Y/N."

The sound of your voice made your best friend immediately release you and you turned around, only to find Shino staring at you. Like usual, half of his face was covered by the shadow of his hood and his dark glasses, but you could see just the slightest frown sitting on his face.

You and Shino had... interesting relationship. You had a crush on the mysterious man since your late teenage years and it wasn't till after the war when Kiba decided to set you a blind date as a joke, that you had the chance to get to know each other. Since that day, you only grew closer, regularly spending your free time together.

To say that you were together, however, would be a lie... or at least not fully the truth. Sure, you did kiss occasionally and he had recently started to spend some of his nights in your bed, but nothing has been officially established between you two. In your mind, your relationship was currently hanging on the border between a beneficial friendship and a romantic relationship.

The dark energy that Shino was currently radiating, however, was anything but friendly.

"Hey, Shino!", you greeted, smiling brightly at him, before scratching the back of your head. For some unknown reason, a feeling of embarrassment has washed over you, almost as if you were caught doing something you shouldn't have.

"What's up, mate?", your best friend greeted next to you, offering a lazy smirk. Shino, however, did not even acknowledge his presence, his attention focused on you.

"We were supposed to meet for lunch", he pointed out while lifting one of his brows, his tone sounding cold. Your eyes widened in surprise and you lifted your hand towards your face, checking the time on your watch.

2 o'clock.

A whole hour later than your scheduled meeting with Shino. You got so caught up listening to Shikamaru's disastrous date, that you completely lost track of time. You lifted your head towards the boy again, giving an apologetic look and opening your mouth to apologize, before your best friend beat you to it.

"Sorry, man, it was my faul-"

"I wasn't talking to you", Shino abruptly snapped at him, finally glancing in his direction. His reaction made you furrow your brows and it seemed to have taken Shikamaru by surprise too, because he lifted his hands in defence, before throwing a questioning glance at you.

All three of you stayed silent for a minute, till you let out a nervous sigh and turned towards your best friend. Quickly wrapping your hands around his torso, you held him in your embrace for just a second, before you stepped back and bid your farewell.

Once Shikamaru was far enough to not hear your conversation, you turned towards Shino and crossed your arms in front of your chest.

"What was that about?"

He stared silently at you and you thought he was just formulating his response, but to your surprise, he silently turned around and started to walk away. You stood dumbfounded, mouth falling open in shock by his unusually rude behaviour, before coming back to reality and jogging next to him.

"Hey!", the word came out more sternly than you intended, "I am talking to you!"

Your fingers wrapped around the sleeve of his jacket and he stopped in place, still refusing to pay you any attention. Taking a deep breath, you decided that maybe a gentler approach would be more appropriate.

"Shino", his name sounded almost like a plead coming out of your lips, "Talk to me.."

The man tensed at your words and his hand came to his face, removing his glasses, so you can finally see how irritated he was with you. But behind his dark eyes, there was a strange vulnerability you have never witnessed from him.

"What am I to you?"

His question came out uncertain, almost as if he wasn't sure if he should be asking it. But Shino has always been one to speak his mind and this was one of the things you liked about him.

"What do you mean?", your head titled to the side, inviting him to elaborate.

"Do you see me as your lover? Or just someone to string along, till you decide what do you want?"

Maybe he meant his last words as a genuine ask, but the sharp tone he used made your heart skip a beat. It hurt you that he lacked confidence in your intentions towards him, especially since unlike him, you have openly voiced the fact that you do like him and feel attracted to him.

"String you along? I would never-"

A silent, barely audible scoff left his lips, and you stopped mid-sentence, now feeling more annoyed than anything.

"Honestly, what the hell is your problem?", you moved, so you were standing right in front of him and your eyes bored into his, "You are being a total asshole right now."

"I'm sorry I'm not too thrilled by the fact I just witnessed my girl being in another man's arms."

Oh...

Whatever was about to come out of your mouth, has been long forgotten and now the only thing your brain could focus on was the fact he called you "his girl".

You blinked a few times at him before a teasing smile stretched across your face.

"Your girl?", you leaned towards him, leaving only a step of distance between you two, "Is that who I am to you?"

Shino's cheeks turned into a dark rosy colour, which reached the tip of his ears and he moved his gaze to the side, suddenly finding the trees in the distance way more interesting than looking at you.

"Of course, you are my girl", he grumbled, his right foot now nervously tapping the ground, "I thought that was pretty clear."

You couldn't help but let out a chuckle at his embarrassed expression. Shino had the strange ability to say bluntly exactly what he was thinking, no matter how inappropriate it was, yet he got all shy and insecure the moment you asked him to confirm his feelings.

"Well, you have never expressly said anything...", you stepped to the side, resulting in blocking his view with your face once again.

"Was sleeping together not enough of a confirmation of the fact that I view you as my partner?", he raised his brow at you and you felt your mouth opening slightly at how straightforward he was, "Why else would I be intimate with you? For the laughs?"

"Well, no...", you muttered, suddenly feeling embarrassed by the fact that you have even questioned him in the first place, "But you know... A girl cannot be sure, till you explicitly say to her what do you want from her."

His hand reached towards your chin, lifting it and making you look at his brown eyes. His whole aura was now calmer and somewhat back to his usual collected self.

"I am serious about you. I want to be with you", he declared, his thumb gently tracing your jawline, "But I want to know if you are feeling the same way. I can't take being your second option, if your true affection lies with someone else..."

A deep crease appeared between your brows and it took you a few seconds to connect the dots.

"Shikamaru?", you let out a dry laugh, but your expression quickly became serious once you met Shino's unamused face, "Shino, you know both of us for years! I literally view him as my brother."

The dark-haired ninja hummed at your words, his hand moving away and shuffling in his pants' pocket.

"I don't like seeing other men touching you", he admitted, his hand falling away from your face, but before he can pull away, you laced your fingers with his.

"You are the only one I like, Shino! No one else", you assured him, giving him a gentle squeeze. He stared at you, checking your eyes to see how sincere you were, and before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned forward, pressing his lips towards yours.

Pulling away, his whole face was red and he hurriedly put his sunglasses back in an attempt to hide his embarassment.

"Let's go have lunch, you must be starving."

cc artwork: Alben Tan

#shino aburame #shino aburame x reader #shino x reader #naruto imagines #shino imagine #naruto requests

42 notes · View notes

sipsteainanxiety · 9 months

Text

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤

i was tagged by @coopigeoncoo @andypantsx3 @willowser and @namodawrites to do this lil self fic rec game and after finally sitting down to think about it for a very... long... time... i have done it! thank you all for the tag i kiss you each on the forehead and give you a bowl of sliced fruit<3

after looking at all the wips i have in docs right now, i can definitely say that this list would be completely different if i had finished a few of them, but for now this is my ranked list for things i've published already lol

devil's glare — demon!bkg x reader

bakugou katsuki is a powerful demon that you have the pleasure of dating. but when he pisses you off one day, you decide to get back at him in a pretty petty way: drawing a salt circle around you to force him to apologize

i had THEE most fun writing this one shot LMAO. it was based on a tiktok of all things that i'd found back when i was still on the app pfft. i just loved the idea of bkg being all surly and aggravated that his little human had purposely drawn a salt circle to prevent him from encroaching on their space. and like... him dealing with wanting to idk kiss you so bad but you're trying to teach him a lesson and he's sooooo mad and fuck, he's gonna do whatever he can to get you to comply to him lmao. if i could draw, there's this one scene where you're wearing this like. cute little set of pjs staring up at this big ass demon, wings unfurled threateningly, snarl on his face, arms crossed with a line of salt in between the two of you. like i have a vision. too bad i can't draw it LMFAOO. maybe one day

2. holding out (just for you) — dragon!bkg x reader

in which you find a horrendously injured dragon in a cave and make it your duty to heal him, not knowing that he’s the infamous dragonshifter, bakugo katsuki, who has been cursed to remain trapped in his dragon form forever—unless the spell is broken

this fic... oh boy. i've been working on this fic since mmm 2021 i think? i can't believe it's been a year since the big bang LMFAOO. i also can't blv this shit evolved from being a standalone to having 3 spinoffs and a sequel but well. here we are. complaints aside i really do have fun writing this fic!! i dunno!! i dont think i'd ever read a dragon bkg fic before and i was like fine i'll do it myself and this happened. i added way too much plot and you guys don't even know about half the worldbuilding and shit i have planned for the sequel HAHA. i can't even talk about it bc it would be major spoilers rn rhrsfjhrjfrjrhjg. it's also been giving me such a rough time lately pfft, especially with having to make sure everything lines up for the spinoffs n stuff. im so afraid of publishing ch4 and having to go back and tweak things bc i havent planned out far enough sdkjfsjkdf. i think it just means i'm gonna have to go on a hiatus or smthn and write out all the spinoffs + ch4 at once idk

3. and i give my all (to you) — merman!bkg x reader

you think you bit off more than you could chew when you decided to do your dissertation on ocean acidification, leaving you stranded out in the open ocean. alone. for months. well… maybe you weren’t so alone after all

this is another fic that i've been working on way longer than it's been posted for pfft. i can't blv the first chapter was released over a year ago LMAOOO i am so sorry. i do like this fic tho bc it's one of the easier ones to write and i go back to it sometimes between writing for dragon bkg lol. like i have the chapters all mapped out, all i have to do is sit down and write em. ch2's at abt 3k rn tho and i hit a spot where i'm like oof i dont wanna write these descriptions dfhdkfg it's just a silly goofy story with merbaku and dealing with some of the subtle intricacies of getting to know a mermaid. actually, fun fact, this originally started off as a fic for jotaro from jjba, back when i was in my jjba era. but then i went back to my bkg era and switched it over. i didn't even have to change much LMFAOO jotaro and bkg act the same sometimes. also!! this is the first fic where i'm like... drawing little doodles for each chapter!! and it's so nice but also i'm like damn wtf do i draw for the rest of these chapters.... i'll figure it out ig

4. loving all the parts of you — pro hero!bkg x reader

in which you learn to love all the prickly parts that make up bakugou katsuki

i.. don't think i've thought about this fic for a very, very long time. but i just scrolled thru the masterlist and stuff and i... really liked writing it (when i was focused on it anyways). it's one of my gentler fics tbh. it's more of a character study of bkg, exploring a different aspect of him in each chapter. tbh i need to go through and reread it and make edits so it can better match the writing style i have now, but i rly liked thinking abt what would make bkg tick as a pro and as a person. and tbh, with what i know now of the manga and anime i think i could go very deep with it pfft. also the banner i made for this fic is so cute LOL. it's not high on my priority list rn bc i have other things i wanna work on, but i do hope to return to it one day.

5. forget me not — pro hero!bkg x reader

When you first woke up, you found yourself in a white room, lights blinding you from all directions. A bit disoriented, you squinted and looked around, realizing you were chained to a chair, your arms locked behind you. In front of you was a poster of a man, muscles rippling throughout his body, a spiky mess of ash blond hair nestled on his head, and striking crimson eyes glaring right at you from behind a black mask. In the upper right corner was the name “DYNAMIGHT” in black and orange letters. As you observed the poster, the sound of a P.A. system suddenly rang into existence, the deep, hoarse voice of an unknown person echoing around you. “Your name is [Name] [Surname],” the voice said without emotion, “and you hate the man named Bakugou Katsuki.”

THIS FIC... THIS FCKIN FIC. i have so much i can say about this fic and i am so sorry for the oncoming ramble pfft. firstly, it's both my baby and my number one fucking enemy. like, holy shit i think it gave me the most paralyzing anxiety and bc of this it took me like 3-4 years to finish (apart from being generally busy of course). i started it literally while i was in high school n applying to college, so of course there are aspects of it that i look at now and i'm like mmm don't like that. not to mention there have been so many things that happened in the anime/manga that i wasn't able to add or delve deeper into!! like the war!! bkg's fcking trauma!! midoriya's quirks!! i was an anime only when i first started releasing chapters (and i still am), so i didnt know about the endeavor agency arc or anything so i defaulted to shit with best jeanist and idkidk.

if i could rewrite all of fmn, i think i would. or maybe not all, but a good chunk of it. like i'd condense the first few chapters probably. i also have a different grasp of bkg's characterization now compared to when i was younger lmao. putting bkg in that specific circumstance (iykyk, i wont spoil it) only happened bc of certain outside factors that forced him into that position. which was how i was able to justify it. but... idk. IDK!! this fic had so many things to it that i was not knowledgeable about so i winged a lot of things without doing proper research (i.e. hospitals, police investigations, general bureaucracy and whatnot) and i feel like this has caused certain plot holes that i am not able to detect, but like.... it's been so long already that i'm too lazy to fix it.

i just really wanted to write about having amnesia but... still having this muscle memory and ache of the person you were in love with. that you can fall in love with them all over again. but, jeez, i put the reader through so much that there's so much... trauma and brainwashing and just rhhrhjrkhrhgrkjg. she's a mess and a half!! and this makes it so difficult to read fmn bc she's so frustrating!! but! at the same time idk it was interesting exploring that kind of ptsd and recovery. i think at my core i love writing about truly heartwrenching topics and horror. i rmb i had the most fun writing about reader's nightmares or that one chapter where she was messing around with illusions. actually- one of the things i would change is the reader's fckin quirk and hero name LMAOOOOO what the fuck i made her so op i basically just smashed together dr strange's and wanda's powers for her pfft. i'd also tweak her personality a little, i think.

i digress. anyways. im in the process of editing all of fmn (just like. writing tweaks. changing the phrasing of certain sentences. adding more fluff to descriptions) and i can really see how much my style has evolved lol. like, i am the most happy and proud of the later chapters, where you can really feel certain emotions with bkg and reader. like... the beach scene, or the stakeout scene, or the party scene!! i think i would also add more substance to the investigation and how being a hero is like post-war. the antagonists as well!! there's just so much that could've been built on, but at the same time... i didn't want to go too deep into it bc i was writing an amnesia recovery story.

flaming aside, i am very glad i was able to pull those plot twists successfully LOL. i loved reading people's theories back when i was still updating it, seeing them question things and being like wait a minute... no way... it can't be... it was an era i will never forget pfft. but... because of that expectation i think i was very nervous to reveal specific things or even write the ending bc i didn't know if people would be satisfied lol. fmn was so complicated and for what sdfkjhs. fanfic shouldnt make you this anxious fr and yet there i was. i'm glad im done with it, but at the same time.. i do miss it.

tldr: fmn is the fic that i am the most proud of but also the most insecure LMFAOO. i do eventually want to get to the extra chapters from bkg's pov for it but... idk. i don't wanna even look at it right now sdhfskdfjsf

thank u all for coming to my ted talk B) i'm sorry if u've been tagged alr in this but here we go anyways!! no pressure tags: @earthtooz @call-me-ko @thecatduet422 @boo-kugo @theloveinc <3

#jeez that fmn ramble rly is long but it is what it is #i could go on even more about it ngl #but i wont sdkhksdf #gamer girling w shay

29 notes · View notes

areinageishisbiggestfan · 7 months

Text

The DRDT Chapter 1 recap video (and why it's evidence to Whit being the blackened)

I've been constantly looking out for evidence to support my Whit Young murderer theory, and most of it has been put together here ;

However, there's another important piece of evidence in a non-episode DRDT video, that being the Chapter 1 recap from January 20 of this year which did three things:

1. Went over the events of chapter 1

2. Showed all the characters in pairs

3. Announced chapter 2's release date

Now all of these can be important, but my focus here is on option 2 - all the characters.

At the time of the recap video's release, these pairs were barely important, however looking back, many of them have ended up being relevant to chapter 2, such as ;

Eden and Arei

Eden ended up being very important to Arei's character development, and they became friends at the end of the chapter's daily life. This is controversial, but I'd consider Arei to be the main focus of this chapter, Eden being the most important person to her.

Nico and Ace

Yes, Nico and Ace did argue a bit in chapter 1. However, this escalated a lot in chapter 2, leading up to Nico's possible attempted murder & Ace now hating them for this.

Xander and Min

Not much to say about these two. The link between them was obviously known at the time of this video's release, but it's still interesting that they were put together (as opposed to having Xander with Teruko, for example).

Those are the only three obvious ones I've seen. You may question why there aren't any more, but.. can you think of any other important pairs during chapter 2? I don't see any.. except for one, that being Whit and his close friend (whose name I can't say for personal reasons).

But let's put that aside for a second. Along with Arei, Eden, and Teruko.. what other characters were important to chapter 2? Only one comes to mind: David. The main antagonist, minus whoever Arei's killer is.

It would've made sense to put David with someone else, such as Hu (due to his manipulation of her) or Teruko (due to their arguments) and Whit with his friend, but instead...

The very last pair to appear on screen, minus MonoTV, was instead Whit and David.

They only interacted once in the entirety of chapter 2, that being in the kitchen during episode 7 - which ends up being very important to my theory. If you believe the exact theory I came up with, you'll know that I think David was an accomplice to Whit's murder, making this even more suspicious.

I'm not trying to claim Whit is 100% the murderer here, but I just find it very interesting. If it was random, what are the chances of Arei being put with Eden, especially with them being the first pair to appear on screen minus Xander and Min + Teruko and the person she was paired with? And then Whit and David were last?

Again, don't take this as pure evidence, it's simply just something I noticed that I felt needed to be pointed out. I've had the theory that Whit would be the murderer since before chapter 2's release date was even revealed.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #david chiem #whit young #drdt whit #whit young murderer theory #teruko tawaki #drdt david #drdt teruko #drdt spoilers #danganronpa despair time spoilers

8 notes · View notes

cybermuses · 3 months

Text

Is that KIANA LEDE ? Oh, no, that’s SALEM WEST, a TWENTY SIX year old MUSICIAN who uses SHE/HER pronouns. They currently live in VIÑA DEL MAR, and the character they identify with most is MISTY DAY from AHS:COVEN. Hopefully they find their own little paradise here in el país de los poetas!

hi angels i'm mar and this is my baby salem!! i can't wait to write with all of you <3 ~pinterest for the vibes~

about.

꒰ ♡ ꒱ salem west was born and bred in new orleans, louisiana on june 5th 1997 to gwen and thomas west . gwen and tommy met in the mid 90’s, tommy being the frontman of one of the biggest bands in the world "The Aces" and gwen being one of the top supermodels of the 90’s. the two eloped quickly in a small ceremony after only being together for about four months while traveling to vegas and have been together ever since. being the only child of a supermodel and rockstar gave salem the privilege to grow up around music and fashion with a deep appreciation of the two. in 2006 during the golden age of reality tv gwen and tommy signed on for a reality show called "gwen and tommy" which would go on for about 8 years before ending. the show highlighted every part of their lives, including the lows, which forced salem to grow up on tv and under a microscope susceptible to the public's scrutiny. eventually, being on television had a negative effect on her and her insecurities got the best of her which would lead her to struggle with various issues going forward. ꒰ ♡ ꒱ spending most of her time between new york and new orleans salem didn't really grow up with a stable home life. her parents didn't believe a nanny should raise their daughter so she often traveled with them for work between cities, new york being their main place of residence during the summers. when she got older she became responsible for raising herself and in that time she fell in love with new york. she loved the art, the culture, the freedom--- often finding ways to create her own safe space without the cameras with friends who understood the pressures of growing up with famous relatives. she finished school relatively early due to homeschooling. by the time she was 16 she graduated and spent her free time learning how to play various instruments and attending fashion events with her mom. but the fashion world never really stuck for her. ꒰ ♡ ꒱ when her 18th birthday rolled around salem started spending more time with her father and his band on tour. she loved the behind the scenes aspect of everything, including being in the studio where she realized she wanted to dabble in singing and song writing. she got into some trouble, flirted with a roadie or two, partied with locals in various cities and even started secretly dating a crew member on the tour. she didn't realize at the time how toxic and manipulative the relationship was, besides him being significantly older he often fed on her insecurities which would lead to her inevitably ending things after a year. she dove into songwriting as an outlet for her feelings and soon after discovered she had an amazing singing voice and a natural talent to play piano. tommy pushed her to pursue a career in music, they often fought about her lack of motivation to build a career out of it. salem wanted to just have fun and experiment in different ventures while tommy was focused on making her his protégé. she ended up releasing an album when she turned 21 and made a name for herself in the industry. she toured around for 2 years and released an ep during that time and some smaller shows for another year before deciding she inevitably needed a break before starting her second album.

*salem originally was supposed to arrive in valpo for some much needed time off to spend with her (now ex) boyfriend leon. after ending things with him over the phone she realized she made a huge mistake and decided to come to valpo anyways to hopefully patch things up and maybe meet some new people along the way too.

random facts.

she has a black cat named stevie (yes after stevie nicks duh) (yes she bought her cat with her)

shes like the witchy plant mom of the group

also very chaotic but in a fun way! she loves going out and partying bc why not! she's harmless tho i promise <3

loves giving back and is big on philanthropy, kinda guilty about how much money her family has tbh

was diagnosed bipolar at 15 (be nice to her pls)

really loves people but has very few close to friends due to people using her for their own gain

she's also queer and a gemini ( i gave her the same bday as angelina jolie bc nothing is real so! why not!)

wanted connections? literally anything she's new to town so we can figure something out just message me on discord!!!~

tldr; chaotic nepo baby who grew up on reality tv and is a musician lmao

#hi #this is...a lot anyways lets plot #valpohqintro #ignore any typos im not caffinated rn

4 notes · View notes

dismantledandrearranged · 2 years

Text

15 sept 2022

In 7th grade, that may have been when R moved for the first time(first out of the city, then 1 or 2 yrs later across the country). R never went to the same school as me, but N always was in school with me. I stopped hanging out with N at the end of 6th grade. In 7th grade, I started hanging out with the two girls H and S, H I knew from young elementary school. And I hung out with C and A and L, who were in a completely different friend group. I think I met them in Algebra. A was quite girly, and she was the first friend I had who would date guys. I had a friend named S who I thought was talking behind my back about my friends talking shit, so I threw gas on the fire an uninvited her to my Halloween party in front of my friends. I felt awful bc she was crying to her mom later about it and how I called her a bitch and my mom talked to me about it. I was trying to set a boundary, and I thought it was okay to do a well intentioned thing in a bitchy manor, because what she did makes it okay. And because everyone else is a bitch especially in middle school. When is one bitchy thing wrong and one is dismissed? Did her mom know she was talking shit on my friends? But then again was my friend lying? Middle school is wild lol. I guess I was going on this tangent because I after R moved away, and that sense of true raw childhood play is comepletely gone, I knew. Friendship would be different. I had no idea what it was supposed to look like. What do people talk about if they aren't making up stuff? Thinking up really interesting and perplexing stuff? What the fuck do people spend the majority of their lives communicating with someone about ????? And honest to fucking god that question I still ask myself to this day. How the hell do people make friends? What do y'all talk about after you are acquaintances, after you know the basics, but you are not close enough to just come over and get stoned and stay up late acting like goofballs in the kitchen? But especially romantically. It's been so long since I have been in love and it fucking breaks my heart how scary it is to imagine the reality of dating and getting to know someone and falling in love, but i want it so fucking badly. I miss it, and I feel much more ready, much more accepting of the fear. My First relationship absolutely fucked me UP, shattered me into a fine dust, and I've been here in the 4-5years since putting every fucking piece back together. But I will take a moment to acknowledge my growth and give myself a huge round of applause. I am afraid of love, but I more afraid of letting the fear consume me, of letting it win. I am mad. I want it back. I want that part of myself back, it belongs to me. I am mad because my peace and trust was ripped away, and I am redefining what those mean for myself and recreating them for myself. I trust I can take care of myself. I've done it for this long, and I have proven to myself my strength over and over aain. I am an unstoppable force, and I believe it. I know what I can handle, but I am tired of having to handle shit that is unnecessary. Heal from unecessary pain. I Also do not need to hurt myself by isolating myself, keeping people at a distance because it feels safe. How do I just relax? Breathe slow down, and just release and be, unwind. How? I can do those things but everything is blank and i feel through my thoughts, not my heart. I try to remember and act on what I know about my emotions and my heart, but how the fuck do I actually act on my heart says when my heart is so scared she leaves the room. I am so sick of being scared. So fucking sick of being scared. I was obsessed years ago with healing and healing and therapy and HEALING and it added to the pain in it's own way. Then I dated again and it feels so empty. Which is what brings me here. What is love? How do I know if im in love, when I can't trust that feeling, it always fizzles out once I get with them, ever since my first ex J. I want to trust the love I feel for someone.

0 notes

mayullla · 2 years

Text

Title: Worries

Character(s): Gaara (Naruto)

Summary: (Request) Gaara thought you left him when you were just out with your friends.

Warnings/tags: Fem!reader, yandere themes

Gaara hummed as he brought some take-out from your favorite restaurant for the two of you to eat. It has been a year since you two started dating and it has been a month since you married him and moved into his home.

Needless to say, he was very very happy.

Gaara was really holding himself back from trapping you in his home whenever you leave home for work or to hang out with your friends, he was already so lucky that you were even married to him.

His siblings told him multiple times not to mess this up, by not showing his rather obsessive tendencies but what can he do sometimes he felt as if he was worthless and danger, not something that should be loved.

He knew that was not the case but sometimes it was just difficult not to think so.

You were so kind and caring, listening to him and being by his side talking to him when he was suffering. He doesn't know what to do without you.

So seeing you not at home so late at night made his heart drop.

“___….?” He called out, he hoped against hope that you were here and just hiding from him like a fun prank or something but the more he looked for you the more anxious he became he was blind and scared he can't see anything, not even the small note you left on the kitchen that you will be outside with your friends and that the food was at the fridge.

He ran out searching for you. In his mind, it was mixed between you being kidnapped or you running away. If you were kidnapped then he would save you and lock you up far away from the people that tried to take you away. If you ran away he would get you and keep you safe with his arms forever and ever. You will never leave his side ever again, he can't do it.

He can't handle it! No!

He needs you in his life!!

You were just coming back from your visit to your friends, humming as you walked back home alone in the streets. You wondered if your husband was finally home now, after all, it was already past midnight. You hoped that he wasn't too worried about you.

Suddenly you were hugged from behind, you yelped and tried to get out from the hold only to have the hold tighter around you and more painful as you felt sand grind against your clothes trapping you along with a strong pair of hands.

Wait, sand?

You looked to your side to see your husband's red hair on your shoulder shivering and shaking as if he lost you for a long time. You became worried and were about to say something but he was first.

"Please don't leave me..." His voice was muffled by your back and clothes. The sand held you tighter than before, making you panic a bit as you tried to release yourself a bit. Gaara took that the wrong way, thinking that you were trying to run away.

“Please..” He asked again, his voice monotone but you could hear the begging “I promise that I will keep you safe. I promise that you don't have to worry about the beast sealed inside me. He won't hurt you. I won't let it. I know you can't have a normal life with me but I promise you that I will love you forever.”

“Please just stay with me… don't leave me. I don't know what to do without you!”

“I will never leave you Garra.” You said to him trying to calm the man down, “I know you are trying your best, I know that you are not a monster. I will never leave you because of fear or because of the beast that is sealed inside you.”

You can feel Gaara relax a bit, and after a while you let him carry you back home. He wanted to be close to you as much as possible. You explained where you were and the note on the table, you giggled at Gaara’s flushed face.

But what you didn't know was that Gaara didn't believe what you said wholeheartedly and, to be honest, he would never believe that you would stay with him forever. And it scared him, but he didn't want to make you anxious so he just pushed his feelings back again like before.

Never leave him and he would never show you his other side. A side that would lock you in your home forever.

#naruto #naruto shippuden #yandere naruto #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere boy #yandere imagine #yandere gaara x reader #gaara x reader #yandere gaara #gaara x you #gaara x y/n #yandere aesthetic #yandere core #yandere male

219 notes · View notes

enhypia · 3 years

Text

HS ; couples

couples answers questions with the choice of drinking instead of answering

pairings: lee heeseung x gn!reader

genre: fluff, angst if you squint really hard

words: roughly 1.4k

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

~guides and warnings~

italics - reader speaking

bold - heeseung speaking

[enclosed] - interviewer speaking

italicized bold - both reader and heeseung speaking

[enclosed bold or italics] - question (depends on who's speaking)

heavily inspired by: rec.create lie detector games, cut truth or drink

warning: contains and mentions of !!! drinking, swearing

i don't promote underage drinking, save your livers

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

hi! i'm (y/n)

hello, my name is heeseung!

and we're together

we're couples!

[you guys were invited here today as couples for a fun little drinking game, you guys were aware of that right?]

yes

we are

[okay, for this game, questions will be asked and if you refuse to answer, you drink, it's that simple. should we start?]

let's go, i can't wait to drink

so you won't be answering the questions?

i mean, it's free alcohol

*hee shakes his head in disbelief

[how long have you been together?]

we actually just had our 3rd anniversary last week

so 3 years now <33

[how did you two meet?]

pffft- *(y/n) laughs

can we just choose pass

shot!

*hee offers the shot glass to (y/n) and both take a shot, laughing after

we're drinking this early on damn

we met through a mutual friend

i was brought as a wingman

i think you can guess how it went

[but how did you guys become a couple?]

we got closer after meeting and i think it was obvious to the both of us that we were interested in each other

yeah but it still took a lot in me to ask you out

he stuttered the first time he asked me on a date

did i?

*(y/n) laughs at the memory

you went "hey, so uh you wa-"

*hee cuts (y/n) off by squishing their cheeks

we don't need a reminder

*(y/n) swats his hand away

but it was cute, don't worry

*(y/n) pats his head making heeseung smile

[okay, how about we officially start the game now?]

*both nod and played rock paper and scissors to determine who gets to ask first, (y/n) wins

*(y/n) reads the card and chuckles

[was it love at first sight?]

it wasn't

like i said, i was supposed to be a wingman so in my head, they were already off limits

i don't believe in love at first sight so *(y/n) shrugs

[do you have/did you have doubts with us being together?]

goddamn *(y/n) drinks

*heeseung is wide-eyed

no honey, not like that, i will answer, it's just that i need the alcohol boost

*the shock goes away

i was about to shed tears not gonna lie

*(y/n) rolls their eyes

when i agreed to becoming heeseung's significant others, i had no doubts, i knew what i felt was true and i knew his was too. the doubts were mainly on myself?? like "what if he just wakes and he doesn't love me anymore" but everyday heeseung proves to me that that will never happen

*(y/n) smiles at heeseung

*heeseung looks away trying to hide the smile and blush appearing on his face and he takes a shot refusing to meet (y/n)'s eyes

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[if i become a zombie and had to eat people to survive, would you stick by side?]

heeseung gets scared easily i don't think he will

but if it's you...

*(y/n) raises an eyebrow

wait let me think about this more clearly

see! *(y/n) laughs

*heeseung continues to think

omg just say no!

but it's you !!!

i know it's me but baby we both know you'll run the other way once i start to eat people

...... you still love me right?

yes heeseung, i still love you

*hee :D

okay! next question!

*he picks up a card and laughs

oh i like this one.

[would you date any of my friends?]

*(y/n)'s mouth drops in shock

*(y/n) ultimately decides to play with heeseung

i mean.. *(y/n) reaches for a shot

*the grin on his face disappears

yah!

*(y/n) bursts into giggles and takes a shot

yah~ !!

[would YOU date any of my friends?]

*hee's eyes narrows and takes a shot for revenge

*both laugh at their antics

the answer is no guys, i love his friends but they're pretty much like annoying siblings

sorry (y/n)'s friends, (y/n) is the only one for me

but i'm pretty sure someone who used to be in my circle would jump at the chance

really ?? who ??

*(y/n) gives the look

AH! -

*scene cuts as he says a name

moving on.

*(y/n) picks up a card and laughs

[do you wish i offered to pay for more dates?]

MAN I WISH I COULD PAY MORE ON DATES

i like paying for our dates, but arguing with them is hard

yeah there was one time we spent 10 minutes bickering about who will pay, so we just made an agreement

we take turns per month, like for this month i'm the one paying for all the dates, then on the next month (y/n) will be paying

but everytime it's his month, he always tries to go out a lot, and when it's my month he opts to stay in

hehe

hEHE ??

*heeseung picks up a card and reads the question intently

*he is in deep thought

what is it?

[will you agree to an open relationship?]

ohhh

open relationship is when it's okay if you see other people right?

yup and i don't think i'd agree to it. you?

me as well

sorry im selfish, heeseung is mine, i do not share ;)

*heeseung laughs

yeah, sorry it's not for me, i don't think i can stomach seeing another one hold (y/n) , find your own

*(y/n) raises glasses to cheers and both take a shot

[it's okay not to drink if you answer]

yeah we know

but it's free alcohol

and drinking makes it more fun

*they hi-five

okay! next question,

[if i had to move away for many years, would you wait for me?]

yes.

wow no hesitations

yes i would wait for you

*(y/n) :O

yes

okay we get it

*they laugh

but i will, you're worth waiting for

your patience says otherwise

are you doubting my ability to wait?

do you hear yourself when you're playing?

that's with games, you're not a game, you're not something i play

*(y/n) blushes making heeseung laugh

shut up okay i get it

i also do not actually trust my patience

SEE ?!

*heeseung bursts out laughing

so instead of waiting i'd probably just go to them and/or visit them a lot

or just move in with me

*(y/n) avoids heeseung's stare

is this still related to the question or the present

huh? *(y/n) acts clueless

WAIT-

*camera cut

*we see both of them sporting a blush with big smiles on their face, and the alcohol evidently lessened

[freestyle! ask any question you want]

wah, i don't know what to ask

*he is thinking, everybody shut up

just keep it simple

no i want it to be hard

i can just actually follow the rules and drink instead of answering

*hee pouts

no you won't

*(y/n) :P

okay!

[did you like ... when we first met?]

oh the 'friend'?

yeah

*(y/n) drinks

*heeseung :O

*(y/n) xD

no heeseung, i did not like them, i really just saw them as a friend

ohh ouch sorry buddy

*they share a laugh

oh it's the last one

[question for both: what does loving each other feel like?]

awww that's a cute one, i'll go first

loving heeseung feels like the comfort your favorite songs bring you. it feels like the excitement you get whenever your favorite show releases a new episode. it's the deep sigh in content you release whenever you smell your favorite scent. it's just, loving him feels like everything your favorites make you feel.

*heeseung is not tearing up, definitely not, that's just sweat, he is also 100% not blushing, it's just hot

*he takes a shot and (y/n) laughs at his antics

now how am i supposed to beat that?!

let me be more romantic gosh

respectfully, no.

*both laugh

okay uhh, loving (y/n) feels like riding a rollercoaster. from all the emotions while waiting in line to exiting the ride. loving them is like the feeling of hitting a high note you previously couldn't. it's winning multiple prizes at the arcade. loving (y/n) is like the softness of a sunrise and the absolute wonder in staring at a night sky.

*(y/n) takes a shot not even bothering to hide their blush

why are we so cheesy and poetic when we're intoxicated damn

*heeseung laughs and agrees

forgive us if we're cringey

not our fault you're single

heeseung! :O

*he stays unapologetic

and that's it!

thank you for having us~

bye~

»————-　♡　————-«

bonus: youtube comments

masterlist ⸺ series masterlist

a/n: sorry this took so long, i caught up with everything i missed in my classes, i'll try to update the series more frequently. i will also be posting timestamps later since it's been days since i last posted. i hope you also like this one!! jay's will be posted next, please look forward to it <33

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #speak or shot #enhypen series #enhypen heeseung #lee heeseung #enhypen fluff #heeseung #enhypen x gender neutral reader #heeseung fluff #lee heeseung fluff #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x reader #heeseung imagines #heeseung scenarios

246 notes · View notes

helloalycia · 3 years

Text

my patient’s neighbour [four] // wanda maximoff

summary: taking Wanda to meet your parents wasn't the best decision in hindsight...

warning/s: none i don't think?

author's note: i’m not sure what to say other than sorry in advance oops

The restaurant my parents chose wasn't too flashy but rather comforting and homely, with an Italian theme and matching cuisine. It was bustling with people, but it didn't take long for Wanda and I to find my parents sat at the back waiting for us.

"You gonna be okay?" I asked, glancing at her with a comforting squeeze of the hand.

"I've got you, haven't I?" she asked playfully, her accent thicker than usual as she spoke. And though she was joking, I knew there was truth to her words which sent the butterflies in my stomach into a frenzy.

"You're cute," I said with adoration, appreciating how lovely her eyes looked in the dimly-lit restaurant. "Come on."

Hand in hand, we approached my parents' table and I had hopes that tonight would go well. My parents weren't exactly intimidating – at least anyone I'd ever known hadn't got that impression – but I still worried for Wanda. Unlike her, I couldn't read minds, so I couldn't tell if she was actually looking forward to tonight or if she was just doing it for me.

"Y/N, you're here!" my mum exclaimed with a grin when she spotted me.

"I am," I said with a nervous smile, before motioning to Wanda. "And so is Wanda, my girlfriend."

"Yes, Y/N mentioned you would be coming," my mum said with a friendly smile, looking to Wanda, before motioning to the table. "Please, sit, sit."

I squeezed Wanda's hand gently before pulling out a chair for her. She smiled at me appreciatively before I took a seat beside her, facing my parents.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Wanda," my dad said with a nod. "Y/N mentioned you plenty of times when we'd call to catch up with her."

"You, too," Wanda spoke politely. "Both of you. Y/N told me that you're travelling the world, is that right?"

I leaned on my hand and glanced at Wanda, who shot me a mischievous smile. Quirking a brow, I mentally applauded her. Getting my parents to talk about their travels was an easy way of bonding with them – they would tell every server and customer in this restaurant about their travelling if they could. She'd cracked them instantly.

I'm just that good, milashka (cutie).

Trying not to laugh as her words echoed in my mind because of her powers, I leaned back into my seat and listened in as my parents went into a ramble about their ongoing adventures. This was pretty much how the rest of the evening went, as the four of us dined on expensive wine and delicious pizza. They seemed to be getting along well, with Wanda asking all the right questions and giving them her picture-perfect smile that impressed all the elders. Heck, she was even impressing me.

Naively, I appreciated how well the evening was going until my parents decided to talk to Wanda about her career.

"So, Y/N mentioned you're one of those Revengers," my mum remembered as we ate.

"Avengers," I corrected her, mildly embarrassed.

Wanda chuckled, glancing at me, before nodding. "Yes, I am. For over a year now, I've been working with them."

"Them being Iron Man, Captain America, the Black Widow...?" my dad asked, looking up as if trying to remember the rest, further embarrassing me.

"Those are the ones," Wanda quipped with a nod.

My mum hummed in response as my dad nodded before leaning back in his seat and eyeing Wanda curiously.

"I can't imagine your job is the safest," he began. "You protect people from threats, right? Keep them safe."

Wanda seemed caught off guard, but recovered quickly. "It's got it's... dangers, yes. But I can handle myself. I've got powers and I know how to use them."

"You do," my dad agreed, before his eyes flickered to me briefly. "But Y/N doesn't. She's just a regular human."

I set my fork down on my plate and looked to him calmly. "Dad, what are you saying?"

"No, it's fine," Wanda said reassuringly, resting her hand on my leg under the table. I grabbed it and held it as she continued to speak to my father. "Y/N doesn't have powers, you are correct."

"And dating an Avenger, I can imagine, must put a huge target on her back," he said with concern, and my mum nodded in agreement. "How can we be certain that she is safe?"

"Dad!"

"Your father is right, Y/N," my mum said, giving me a look, before her expression softened as she looked to a startled Wanda. "We're not implying that you're incapable, Wanda. We can clearly see that you care about our daughter. And you're a lovely person. You're pretty much perfect."

Wanda swallowed hard. "But?"

My mother frowned. "But dating you is bound to put our Y/N in danger. She could get hurt just for being involved with you, with your friends. She doesn't have powers to protect herself. And I can't imagine you're around her all the time to keep her safe."

As angry as I was at my parents for saying this stuff – even if they were saying it out of love – memories of the incident flashed to mind. They were right, but it was a risk I'd accepted when dating Wanda. What good was it doing by bringing this up now?

Noticing Wanda's silence, I spoke up instead. "I appreciate your concern, guys, but I'm an adult. I understand the danger I may be put in by being with Wanda. But I love her and I know that she is here for me if anything were to ever happen."

"We know," my father said, giving me a small nod. "We just thought we'd share our opinion anyway. It's been weighing on us for a while is all."

I sighed quietly. I couldn't exactly fault them for that.

"Anyway, never mind that," my mum said, setting down her fork. "Now that we've got that out the way, let's order some dessert, yeah? Our treat."

Nodding, I let my parents get excited as they perused the dessert menus before them. Instead, I looked to the quiet brunette beside me and saw how lost in thought she was, eyes focused on the table and stuck in a daydream.

With the hand that was holding hers, I patted her hand with my thumb to earn her attention. She looked up suddenly, questioning gaze falling to me. I frowned and quirked a brow, wondering if she was okay. She forced a smile my way, squeezing my hand reassuringly, but I didn't believe her. I also couldn't question it right in front of my parents, so I decided to speak with her later.

Dessert went by quickly as Wanda, suddenly, wasn't very talkative. I didn't know if my parents noticed, but I sure did and I felt extremely guilty. If I had known of my parents' concerns, I never would have brought Wanda to meet them tonight.

After the evening came to a close and we all stepped out of the restaurant, I expected to be going home with my parents since we lived together, but they claimed they had more plans together tonight.

"Wow, you guys have more of a social life than we do," I joked when they told me to make my own way home.

Wanda barely smiled and I felt bad.

"We'll be back in a few hours," my mum promised, before pulling me in for a hug. "Tonight was fun. A great final night before we leave tomorrow."

I returned the hug and as I gave my dad one, I heard Wanda thanking my mum for the lovely evening halfheartedly. After saying our final goodbyes, Wanda led me to her car in silence, giving me time to try and put some jumbled thoughts together coherently.

As she had been for the past hour, Wanda was quiet on the drive back to my place. Whenever I would glance in her direction, she'd be chewing on her lip and focusing on driving, though the blank expression on her face made me think that maybe she was distracted. It didn't take a genius to know she was thinking about my parents' words and I suddenly felt guilty for putting that all on her.

"I'm sorry," I blurted halfway through the journey. "I'm sorry for what they said. It wasn't fair of them, I know that. They just... they meant well, Wanda, they really did." I tucked my hands under my thighs, wincing as their words echoed in my mind. "It doesn't change anything though, y'know? We're still us. We're still okay. I don't want you to feel like anything's changed because it hasn't."

I paused, swallowing hard, and glanced her way. She didn't even look my way, still in the same position as she was before I started to speak. Looking back to the road ahead, I let out a disappointed sigh, figuring she wasn't in a talking mood. I didn't blame her, but I hoped she would have understood what I meant.

The remainder of the drive was like this, Wanda deep in thought and me huddled under an imaginary blanket of guilt. When we finally reached my house, she turned the engine off and I waited for her to say something, literally anything. Her fingers drummed against the steering wheel mindlessly and I figured she was out of words for tonight.

"I'll ring you in the morning," I mumbled quietly, opening the car door. "If you want to speak, that is."

Leaving her there, I grabbed my bag and headed to the front door, but stopped when I heard her get out the car, too. Waiting, I turned around and watched as she approached me, eyebrows knitted in thought.

"Please say something," I said with pleading eyes.

She licked her lips, biting her lower lip so hard I'm surprised she didn't draw blood. Finally, she released it and looked to me with apologetic eyes.

"Your parents were right," she said.

I blinked with confusion. "What?"

She nodded, looking down at her shoes momentarily. "They were right, what they said. My life puts you in danger."

"Yeah, I know," I agreed, crossing my arms. "I knew that when I got with you, but that doesn't change anything."

She gave a disbelieving smile. "Seriously? Y/N, that changes everything."

"No, it doesn't," I told her sternly, growing frustrated. "This is the stuff you sacrifice when you love someone."

She sighed, shaking her head and looking away. "You shouldn't have to."

"But I chose to," I said, clenching my jaw.

"Don't you remember what happened last time?" she asked, stepping forward and holding my hand. "The incident?"

"We said we wouldn't talk about that," I reminded her with a low voice.

"But you remember, right? When they took you and I wasn't there? They could've hurt you!"

"Shut up!" I told her, raising my voice. Pulling my hand away from hers and taking a step back, I continued, "Why are you saying that? You came! You helped me!"

"But what if they did something to you before I got there?" she snapped. "What if I hadn't got to you on time?"

The memories came spilling into my mind, escaping the locked box I kept them in. Tears burned the corner of my eyes as I tried to think about anything else.

"You remember how scared you were?" Wanda asked, frowning at me with exasperated eyes. "You couldn't be by yourself for weeks!"

"Why are you doing this?!" I yelled, clenching my fists. "Why are you trying to frighten me?!"

"Because you should be frightened!" she retorted, stepping closer to me. Her dark green eyes were swirling storms of rage as she added, "It could happen again!"

I shoved her away from me, pinching the bridge of my nose with annoyance. Tears slipped from my eyes at the terrifying memory of what happened, what could have gone wrong, but I ignored them as I swallowed down the lump in my throat. Why the hell was she acting like this? Making me so angry at her for no reason?

"It's not even just that," she continued, jaw tensed. "How many times do I get hurt because of work and you get worried?"

"That's because I care about you," I muttered through stinging eyes.

"This will always be my life," she said, a hint of regret in her words as she looked to me. "I can't change it."

"I'm not asking you to!"

"Exactly! You're not! Which means you'll suck it up and stay with me and will live your life in constant concern for my well-being. It's not right."

I opened my mouth to respond because what she was saying was entirely stupid. But my emotions got the better of me and no words came out. Instead, my bottom lip quivered as I sucked up a breath.

"I need time to think," she suddenly said, anger disappearing from her voice and being replaced with an astute calmness.

My gaze snapped her way and through blurry vision, I watched her step back with her hands on her hips.

"So you can what – think about breaking up with me?" I said bitterly, and despite my anger, I didn't expect her to look at me with a softened expression, meaning my words were correct.

"Maybe it's better that way, Y/N," she said gently, eyes meeting mine.

I squeezed my hands together and tried to breathe through the pent-up anger that she'd caused, but the longer she stared at me, waiting for a response, the more I wanted to explode.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I muttered, scrunching my eyebrows together.

She pressed her lips together, looking away, and it only pissed me off more.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Wanda?!" I yelled. "You're quitting on our relationship because, what, you think I'm in danger? Well, news flash, honey, the worst already happened and I'm still here!"

She barely flinched as she avoided my eyes.

"You're a fucking coward!" I said, pointing at her. "If you needed an excuse to end things, you could have just said so!"

Breathing out, I wiped my tears away shakily. I expected her to argue back, to realise she'd made a mistake and regretted her words, but as I waited, I knew she was certain of her decision.

"Fine," I settled, brimming with rage. "Fuck off, Wanda."

Still, nothing.

Turning on my heel, I stormed to my front door and went through my keys with difficulty, hands shaking with anger. I heard Wanda's car door shut from behind me but didn't bother turning around. I clearly didn't need to as I heard the tyres screech against the road and knew she was gone.

Kicking my door with frustration, I found the key and opened up before heading inside and slamming the door behind me. How dare she break up with me because of something that I chose off my own back! She just gave up like we meant nothing to her, not even bothering to talk things out with me! And selfishly, she left me feeling pissed and resenting her more than I ever thought I would.

"What a bitch!" I shouted into the empty house, throwing my keys to the side harshly.

When they clinked against glass, I looked up and saw the vase of flowers Wanda had given me before dinner.

"The first and fucking last," I said dryly, before grabbing ahold of it and throwing it against the wall without thinking.

The glass shattered on impact, leaving a mess of water, flowers and small shards on the wooden floor. I looked at it, the brokenness resembling how my heart felt. As the adrenaline of my actions and previous angry words wore off, all that was left was hurt and pain and oh God, Wanda was gone. She'd left me. She'd given up.

I sank to the floor, pulling my legs up to my chest, and hugged them tightly. Stifling my cries, I dug myself into my knees and felt a pain in my heart. Why didn't she fight for us? Did she not love me enough? Was I not enough?

—

"You ignored the memes I sent you, I thought you died."

As Natasha pushed right past me and into my house, I blinked with disbelief.

"Sure, come right in," I mumbled sarcastically, closing the front door.

Following after Natasha, I found her making herself at home in the living room, plonking herself on the couch and pulling her feet up comfortably.

"You could have sent an emoji or something," she continued, giving me a knowing look. "They were some good memes."

"Well, forgive me if I wasn't in the mood," I said sourly, joining her on the couch.

Her playful smile faded as she picked up on my words. "How are you doing, sweetie?"

I ran a hand through my hair and leaned my elbow on the back of the couch, getting comfortable. It had been two weeks since Wanda broke up with me and in those two weeks, I hadn't been doing particularly well. I guess you could say I was still in a slump. A horrible, tiresome, angry, sadness-filled slump.

"I'm fine."

She pursed her lips, looking like she wanted to argue, but thankfully, she didn't. I was glad – the last thing I wanted was to prove that I was okay when, really, all I wanted to do was curl in a ball and suffocate under my duvet.

"I'm sorry," she said, resting her hand on mine. "If it's any consolation, I think Wanda made a huge mistake."

"Ah, so she told you," I said with a nod of realisation. I hadn't told Natasha the specifics of why we broke up, but clearly Wanda did. I guess it made sense – they were teammates. If anything, I was surprised Natasha still wanted to speak to me, instead expecting her to side with her friend.

"She did," Natasha answered. "And I think she's an idiot, but that's not my business. I just came here to make sure you were okay."

"Really? I thought you wanted to show me the memes," I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood with a small smile.

She chuckled, slapping my hand gently. "That, too... but seriously."

My smile faded as I looked down, my finger playing with my trousers distractedly. "I'm not okay, but I'll get there." I began to glare at my trousers, my anger for the witch returning. "I have to be. Because she doesn't want me anymore... fuck her."

"I'd rather not," Natasha mumbled.

Though my anger was present, making me tense like it had been the last few weeks, I couldn't help but smile at Natasha's words. Then laughter bubbled from my lips and for the first time since Wanda left, I felt momentarily happy.

"I'm glad we can still be friends," Natasha said, making me look to her with a smile. "I know that you and Wanda are over now... but I still like hanging out with you."

"Me, too," I said in agreement. "Thanks for coming to check in. You didn't have to."

"Yeah, I did." She nodded before offering me a small, encouraging smile. "You're gonna be okay, y'know."

I wanted to believe her, but despite how pissed I was at Wanda, I still loved her. And I couldn't imagine stopping, though I knew I'd have to if I was to make it through this.

—

Getting over Wanda was a difficult process. Everything I felt was a mixture of resentment, exhaustion and misery because I missed her. I missed being able to call her when I saw somebody do something stupid in public; I missed kissing her when I hadn't seen her in a long time; I missed hearing her adorable accent first thing when I woke up after she spent the night; I missed her.

Two months followed the breakup and the only time I'd see her was when she'd dodge Anna's apartment upon knowing I was going to take care of her. I guess I was glad in that sense, as it meant I wouldn't have to deal with her awkwardly. But it also made me feel like shit because it meant she didn't care about me at all. Clearly our breakup wasn't affecting her like it did with me.

And it was definitely affecting me.

I was scrolling through Instagram one day when I saw a particular post on my feed from Natasha's account. Yeah, one of the Avengers had a private Instagram account. She gave me her username when she saw me on it one day and I remember being so confused to how she had it.

"I'm an Avenger, not a hermit," was her response, and from that day onwards, we followed each other.

So, I saw a post on her Instagram and it was some goofy photo of her, Tony, Bruce and Wanda. They were posing with exaggerated smiles as Natasha grinned up front; the caption said something about working long days, but I wasn't paying much attention as, naturally, my gaze fell to Wanda.

Just like everyone else, she had a playful, exaggerated smile on her lips like nothing kept her down, but what stood out was the sling around her arm and the cast underneath. It must have happened in a mission or something and it wasn't my business, but I couldn't help but worry. Was she okay? Was she looking after herself? I wanted to text Natasha and ask, but I stopped myself.

She'd broken up with me for this very reason. I wasn't agreeing with it, but for a second, I did see why she'd made her point. It still wasn't fair though. She didn't get to make that choice for me.

We weren't together anymore, I reminded myself. She broke up with me. It had been two months and I needed to let go. If she didn't care about me, why should I waste my time and energy caring about her?

Not letting it get to me anymore, I simply liked the post before continuing my scrolling. Though I knew that deep down, her face was imprinted in my mind and I still worried for her well-being.

—

The fourth month following our breakup was when I properly saw Wanda again, excluding the times she would duck out of Anna's apartment upon my arrival to care for her. It was also the first time since the breakup that Wanda made the effort to speak to me.

I was sat eating dinner on my day off when I got a call from the hospital nearby, interrupting my meal. The nurse was explaining how Anna had fallen over and hurt her back and was now in a hospital room. She was calling me because she thought I'd like to know since I was her registered nurse and carer. I was glad to get the call, immediately pulling my shoes and coat on and rushing over there to make sure she was okay. She didn't have anyone else apart from Wanda and I – it was no question I had to go.

Though, of course, I didn't really think about the fact that Wanda may be there until I saw her there. I also didn't consider the fact that I was wearing my pyjamas when I stepped in the lift and headed to Anna's floor. Too late now.

After asking the receptionist where Anna's room was, I found Wanda hanging around it outside the door. With only Anna on my mind, I approached her and tried to hide my panic. She spotted me instantly, stopping her pacing and looking to me with tired eyes and a frown on her face.

I didn't care that she looked worried, nor that she was holding up well since we last spoke in anger. I didn't care that she'd dyed her hair a reddish-brown colour, nor that she managed to pull off both that and the whole 'loungewear' look in a place surrounded by blinding white and blue. I didn't care that my heart ached when her green eyes found mine, nor that I missed seeing her so close and not in my dreams for once. I didn't care about any of it. Or, at least, I tried to tell myself that.

"What happened?" I cut straight to the point, stopping in front of her. "Is Anna okay?"

Wanda nodded instantly. "She's fine. She tripped over her dining room chair and hurt her back. The doctors just checked her out and said it's nothing too serious, but she won't be able to walk for a while."

I pressed my lips together, feeling the panic wear off at the sound of good news. Anna had always been more than just a patient to me and the last thing I wanted was to hear she'd hurt herself badly.

"Can I see her?" I asked Wanda, quirking a brow.

"Yeah, of course," Wanda said, before looking away awkwardly. "I was just waiting out here for you. The nurse said you were coming."

I chose to say nothing as I walked past her and into Anna's room, seeing the older woman laying on a hospital bed and staring at the ceiling. When she noticed my presence, she smiled at me and motioned for me to join her side.

"It's so good to see you, milaya (sweetie)," she said happily, as I stopped by her side, "but you didn't have to come! I'm not dying."

I heard Wanda enter the room behind me, but she took a seat on the chairs opposite the bed. Ignoring her, I smiled down at Anna and grabbed her hand.

"Don't say that," I told her gently. "Of course I'm here. You're my number one priority. I had to make sure you were okay!"

Anna waved her hand in typical Anna fashion. "I've suffered worse. I'm absolutely fine."

I knew it was best not to question her, so I didn't.

"I'm glad you're both here," she said, looking between Wanda and I, making me swallow awkwardly.

Since breaking up, I hadn't mentioned it to Anna, but she wasn't stupid and she'd clearly noticed that we weren't spending time together anymore. I didn't know if Wanda had told her, but if she had, Anna never mentioned anything. Like now, she simply looked between us both with a grateful smile, unaware of how awkward we felt.

Thankfully, the awkward silence was interrupted when a doctor walked in the room. After introducing herself, I asked if I could speak to her outside about Anna and she happily obliged. She told me about Anna's condition and how it would affect the way I cared for her, especially regarding her new medication, and I asked anything and everything to make sure she was truly okay. After being reassured that she was, I thanked the doctor and returned to Anna's room, only to find Wanda and Anna in a heated a argument.

I couldn't tell what had got them so fussy as they were bickering in Russian, sentences too fast for me to comprehend with my limited knowledge of the language. It got to a point where Anna began slapping Wanda on the arm, looking angrier than ever, so I stepped between them and pulled Wanda away.

"What the hell is going on here?" I interrupted, holding Anna's slapping hand down to the bed and raising a hand to keep Wanda at bay. I looked between them, seeing the frustration in both their expressions, and asked questioningly, "Well?"

Wanda said nothing, eyes avoiding mine as usual, so I looked down to Anna who was glancing between us before spouting off into another ramble in Russian, trying to grab Wanda so she could yell at her directly. To my annoyance, Wanda tried to push past me, yelling back, and I was unfortunately caught in the middle as I attempted to keep them from ripping each other's throats out.

Thankfully, their bickering came to a halt when an unknown voice called into the room: "What is going on in here?"

I looked to the door, following the mystery voice, and saw a young woman, maybe in her thirties, standing in the doorway and looking between the three of us with confusion. I had no idea who she was, though she seemed familiar. Judging from the confusion Wanda had, she didn't seem to know either.

"Sasha," Anna breathed out with surprise, and then I realised. That was Anna's granddaughter. "What are you doing here?"

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #elizabeth olsen #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff #marvel #mcu #marvel imagine #mcu imagine

382 notes · View notes

crqstalite · 2 years

Text

Happy Year In Review 2021!!

I've certainly lived in interesting times and here's my eventual result of that. (Can't believe it's already been a year -- 2020)

WORD COUNT:

This year I wrote a total of 127,820 words (92,789 published, 35,031 unpublished). Honestly I'm a little disappointed, I thought I did more than that. Given, it's 2021, the year of crises left and right, but...yeesh. That's less than I did back in 2019. In like, two or three months.

Most of the year was out of my control though, and I'm still standing. I count it as a win.

The Breakdown:

My Mass Effect works took up about 3/4s of the actual word count, at 112,020 words written (and 22,934 unpublished, along with most of what I haven't released for Redamancy yet). My goal this year was to finish Redamancy but it had other ideas, so I'm maybe halfway through actually finishing it? That could be another year.

My Arcane works (what a surprise), are all still unpublished with posting dates being sometime in early 2021. However, they're 12,097 words by themselves so far, so it's okay. I didn't expect to end up writing for League anytime soon, but here we are.

My singular Dragon Age work this year was Bones, which was 1,879 words. Not surprised I didn't have more, it's Dragon Age. That and I lost all of the games when my account was hacked earlier in the year. Not a lot of motivation to write for this fandom.

My singular Mind Blind work this year was "Do It For Them", which was 1,824 words. It's been a while since I've really interacted with the IF fandom, so that's pretty unsurprising.

New Things I Tried:

Not much I don't think? Redamancy has actually been beta'd, every single chapter currently published has had a second pair of eyes over it (which is such a big help, you'd never notice how many misspellings you miss yourself), but beyond that I didn't really have the time or mental energy to do much else. EXCEPT for starting to write for Arcane. Never thought I'd do anything relating to League.

(God I hate the culture around League so much.)

Favorite Thing I Wrote This Year:

Probably Letters Home? Not super sure why but it is one of the few times I've genuinely liked something I wrote mainly in a non-OC's perspective. It's a working point for Joker and Citlali, which are two characters I hesitate to write together for whatever reason.

(That and it's criminal how Tiptree and Joker's feelings related to it are just swept under the rug -- it's criminal!)

Favorite Fic I Read This Year:

@ljandersen's Sideways. Easily one of my favorites (even if I'm still behind a handful of chapters -- and mentioned it last year), just for the characterization alone. I absolutely love how their Kaidan(s) and Shepard(s) interact with each other, and the little details that turn out to be bigger than anyone would've guessed. I absolutely adore the ever-growing future that they've weaved into the story, as well as how they expanded the Mass Effect universe into something all their own. I'm really looking forward to seeing where the rest of the story goes.

@shockdowndefiance's A Momentary Lapse In Judgement. Though I really loved just about every work in their library (Allison Shepard my beloved) this one really stuck with me because it really examined the coup for what it was logically and what Bioware couldn't quite do, especially for a Kaidanmancing Shepard. Allison's universe extends Mass Effect something emotionally compelling, and this fic is probably one of the best examples of that. I still absolutely love how they resolved it, as well as how Allison's character really shines through here, both as Commander Shepard as well as -- well, a regular human being. It's painful at times, but also terribly comforting.

@swaps55's Sonata. I'm such a sucker for in-between moment Mass Effect stories, especially Shenko centered ones. Sam Shepard is such a compelling character, and his relationship with Kaidan is certainly one that makes you so very mushy on the inside. Swaps' writing style is something that'll suck you in and never quite let you go, and their attention to detail is something to be admired. (Which is why I was up until the middle of the night finishing it -- definitely worth the read!)

& (last but definitely not least)

@lyrishadow's Between Times. I still read it time to time just because it makes me happy and amuses me greatly. It was a birthday gift from them to me and it still makes me really happy. I really love how they weaved both of our Shepards together to write something so nice, and how they took the time out of their life to do it.

Writing Goals For 2022

Be less on myself about writing. I was genuinely feeling so guilty and completely paralyzed out of having any fun the entire months of October, November and December just because I hadn't gotten any substantial writing done. Which shouldn't be how I feel, writing is a hobby of mine. Just because I was more likely to reach for my stylus or even one of my games than I was my bookmark for my longfic doesn't mean I'm a failure, even if I would've liked to see more progress. I mean, hell I'm a high school student who's about to graduate in a couple months -- you'd think I'd be able to afford myself the same grace I give my peers.

(It's the validation. I live off of it. I shouldn't, but I do.)

Word Of Thanks

Thanking the lovely Lock + Key writers because you guys are lovely people, (@delinquest , @glyndwrwrites , @lnewmanwrites , @tayareum , @thesupremepuff + @colonelpknight [can't tag you]) thank you for going on such a wild ride with me this year, its been so freaking fun working with you all!

The lovely @mallaidhsomo for their contributions to Redamancy and all of the useful advice they've provided me with. Along with the rest of the Bioware Fanfiction server, I might not interact much but its a very comforting place to be. <3

@that-wasnt-so-bad + @kaidans-alenkos + @mariaalenkoshepard + @actualanxiousswampwitch + @oakstar519 for being the people I always love seeing in my notifs and inbox, and the people who always have the best headcanons for the canon characters and their own.

@sheyshen + @greencrusader13 + @anchanted-one + @naaklasolus for always being there to listen to my rambly nonsense in our development channel. And responding with your own OCs because I love them very much.

@asianshep + @tali-zorahs + @metzlishepard + @dickeybbqpit + the rest of the A.G.U discord because the lot of you have been so kind to me since I popped in just for fun a while ago. Y'all are fun, and are the absolute sweetest <3 (I will track down the rest of your tumblrs eventually).

Tentatively go forth and prosper into 2022!

#2021 wrap up #year in review #long post

27 notes · View notes

revchainsaw · 3 years

Text

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

#Transformers #Bumblebee #Optimus Prime #Action #Adventure #Car #Super Hero #Robot #Scifi #Grade D #D #Grade: D #2018 #2010s #(D)

4 notes · View notes

kiwiimmellon134 · 4 years

Text

ONE LAST TIME

(not my gif!)

summary — in which the resistance’s best fights try and recruit one of the galaxy’s deadliest creature resulting in an unwanted reunion.

word count — 2k words

paring(s) — vampire hunter!poe dameron x fem!vampire!reader

warning(s) — blood, violence, and angst

notes — this vampire au is heavily based on the vampire diaries so this is gonna follow a lot of the supernatural lore of the show. and my first fic on this app, be gentle

Being a vampire wasn’t exactly your cup of tea when it first happened. But the longer you were a vampire, the more you got used to it and the more you embraced it. You were turned by Emperor Palptine himself, the first vampire.

You were the granddaughter of a Sith Lord and it was why Palpatine turned you in the first place. You were a member of the Original Bloodline, the first line of vampires.

The Sith vampires became power hungry and started a war that lasted one thousand years, and is still being fought till now. It began with the Empire, led by your grandmother and Anakin Skywalker.

But then, Luke Skywalker destroyed the Empire’s weapon, seemingly ending the war. Until the First Order rose under you and Kylo Ren.

The First Order had allies among the vampire species. They made sure to make allies with the most deadly creatures in the galaxy. Although, the Resistance had an alliance with the werewolves. Meanwhile, the witches were neutral. The playing field was even since a werewolf bite was toxin and dangerous to vampires.

You had left the First Order a while ago. You finally saw the evils the First Order was doing and left. You snuck away in the middle of the night. You were an ally the Resistance wanted.

General Leia Organa sent her best vampire hunter, Poe Dameron, and his two closest friends, Finn and Rey, to find a new ally for the Resistance. They ended up on a planet named Vela, in hopes of finding this new ally.

"Where did Leia say to search?" Rey asked as the trio walked down the street that was suspiciously empty.

"Here," Poe said, leading them to a bar. Poe, Finn, and Rey entered the bar and were met with a bloody dead body. "Gross," Finn said softly.

They turned into the main room of the bar and saw the horror that waited for them. Blood splattered on the walls and floor, bodies were scattered along the bar and there were some dismembered limbs as well.

Poe looked over at the broomstick resting against the wall. Poe snapped a piece of the broomstick off to make a stake. He only knew about one creature that could create this kind of mess.

Rey swallowed down the distaste in her mouth and felt sick to her stomach. "Holy shit," Rey whispered.

There, in the center of it all, was you, feeding on a dead body with her back facing the trio. You released the man's neck with a snarl and the man's head fell onto the ground with a disgusting thud. You turned around with blood-red eyes and grey veins trickling down from your eyes.

Your mouth and chin were covered in blood. "You've got to be kidding me," Poe commented.

Your eyes turned back to normal and she sighed. "You've got to be kidding me." You said. "Haven't seen you around here in a long time," You added.

"Been busy," Poe answered.

"You know her?" Finn asked.

"I dated her." Finn and Rey turned their heads to look at him, "You what?" Rey asked.

"It's a long story," Poe replied. "It was your typical forbidden romance," You interjected, "Vampire," You pointed to yourself, "Vampire hunter." You pointed to Poe.

"And don't forget the fact you're a manipulative bitch," Poe added.

"Ouch," You put her hand over her heart, "Did my betrayal hurt you that much?"

You met Poe when you were still with the First Order. You found out he was a vampire hunter not long after you met and you came clean about being a vampire to him.

You both tried to make it work. You really did. But you came from opposite sides of the war. Kylo found out about your relationship with him and gave you a choice.

You chose the First Order, which broke your heart but you wanted to stay on the First Order’s good side.

"Okay, who is she?" Rey asked softly.

You introduced yourself to them, "And I come from the Original bloodline. And I'm a Ripper." You explained, "You know what that means?"

When you were met with silence, you answered your own question. "It means I literally can't stop feeding until I tear your head off," You explained, your eyes slowly shifting back to red.

Rey and Finn slowly moved behind Poe since he was the only one relaxed in this situation. "I need to talk to her alone," Poe whispered back to his two friends.

"What?" Finn asked, "Did you not hear what she just said? She will kill you."

"She can't kill me even if she wanted to," Poe replied. He looked at you with a small smirk, "Not unless she wants to deal with me for the rest of her life."

"Don't remind me," You rolled her eyes.

"Let's just say I have supernatural immunity. Go wait outside. This won't take long." Poe said. Rey and Finn hesitantly nodded and left the bar. They were glad to get out of the bar though, it smelt ridiculously bad.

"And what exactly are you planning on doing with that?" You asked, looking down at the stake in his hand, "You think you can kill me? I'm two hundred years older than you."

"I can take you."

You laughed softly, shaking her head slightly. "When did you turn it off? Your humanity?" Poe asked. He knew you wouldn't do it unless you didn't care, if you didn't feel.

"Two years ago." You answered, "I just need to get on human blood. Get off of that rabbit diet my uncle put me on and get back to my roots." Poe glanced down at the floor for a quick moment. Two years ago? You broke up two years ago. Poe looked back up at you.

"General Leia thinks you'll make a good ally to the Resistance. I don't know why since you're the same selfish vampire I've always known." There was a time when Poe really believed you could do good. That you weren’t the same as your family that was currently trying to take over the galaxy.

Just like there was a time where you believed you could change. You wanted to change. For him.

Your face fell for a moment. Just a quick moment as you processed his words. Then, your face hardened again and you replied, "Fucking hell, I lie to you once and you won't let me live it down."

"You could've killed me," Poe argued.

"Yeah, well, I didn't. You know that stupid curse got in the way. Believe me, if the curse didn't exist, I would've torn you apart... And you know it." The Hunter's curse was the only thing stopping vampires such as you from killing hunters like Poe.

If a vampire killed a hunter, the spirit of the hunter would torment the vampire relentlessly for the end of time. Or if the vampire drove a stake through their own heart.

You wiped her chin with the back of your hand and sighed softly. "So, why are you here?" You asked, "You miss me?" You smirked.

"No, I don't," Poe replied, "The Resistance needs your help. We're just asking for some assistance. Then, once the war is over, you can go back to murdering people aimlessly."

"I'm not gonna help you. I like my little neutral alliance. It's... strangely peaceful. I get to kill whoever I want without caring if they're on your side of the First Order's side. And it's not like anyone could come after me. I'm a Sith vampire. I have as much supernatural immunity as you." You rambled.

You took a couple of steps closer to Poe and looked down at his neck, hearing his heartbeat.

You looked up into his eyes and licked your lips.

"Yeah... Thing is... I'm not necessarily asking." Poe said softly. Before you could process what he said, Poe grabbed your throat and slammed your back on a tabletop, holding you down by your neck. He brought up his other hand and stabbed the stake in your chest, causing you to yell in pain.

"Two more inches and I pierce your heart," Poe said, twisting the stake slightly in his hand. You groaned in pain. "So what's it gonna be?" Poe asked.

"God, you're hot..." You whispered softly. You put your hand on his wrist causing his hand to tighten ever so slightly around your throat. "When did you get so hot...?" Poe slowly drove the stake further in her chest, you winced in pain.

"Don't flirt with me."

Your eyes flicked down to the stake and back up at Poe. "You wouldn't..." You argued, "If you did, my entire bloodline would come after you."

"Not like they could kill me," Poe retorted.

"You think the curse is gonna stop them?" You asked, wincing in pain again, "You fuck with one of the Originals and the others will kill you. Curse or not. Besides... You care about me too much to kill me."

Poe leaned down and whispered in your ear, "I couldn't care less about you. Gotta be honest, I might even hate you. So, it looks like our little love story ends here."

You tightened your grip on his wrist and twisted it, pulling his hand off of your neck and a loud snap echoed through the bar. Poe shouted in pain, which alerted Rey and Finn outside, and you kicked him off of her. You pulled the stake out of your heart and got off of the table, the wound already healing.

You grabbed his throat, like what he did to you, and stabbed the stake in his gut, expertly missing everything important. "You hate me?" You asked as Poe groaned from the pain, "That sounds like the beginning of a love story, Poe. Not the end of one." You heard the bar doors open and the footsteps of Rey and Finn coming.

You let go of Poe and used her vampire speed to leave the room before Rey and Finn came into the bar. "Poe!" Finn shouted as he and Rey rushed to Poe's side.

"She doesn't want to help," Poe winced.

"We noticed." Rey retorted.

Poe was fine after a long period of rest. You disappeared again, flying under the First Order's and the Resistance's radar. But Poe's seen the messes she left behind, the amount of people you killed made Poe second guess his belief that you could be good.

The war ended after many more months of fighting. The Resistance didn't need your help to win, but you still would've been a powerful enemy against the First Order. A lot of the vampires went into hiding and the galaxy finally felt peace.

Currently, Poe was back on Yavin IV, his home planet, tending to his x-wing with BB-8 beside him. BB-8 let out an alarmed beep, making Poe turn around. Lingering in the shadows was a figure Poe knew all too well.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked. You stepped out from the overhead shadow and into the light, "I heard the war's over." Poe looked at BB-8, not saying anything. BB-8 turned and rolled away from you two.

"What do you want?" Poe asked.

"I wanted to see you," You replied. "I've been thinking about—"

"—Save it. I don't want to play your games." Poe interrupted.

"Us," You finished her sentence anyways, "I've been thinking about us."

"There is no more 'us'. Not after everything." Poe pointed at you and took one large stride closer to you, "You did this to us."

"And you're right. I know what I did..." You trailed off. Poe could hear the softness in your voice, something was different from the last time they spoke in that bar. "I just... I'm sorry." You spoke softly.

"You turned your humanity back on, didn't you?" Poe asked.

"And I'm off human blood," You continued, "I stopped killing." Poe knew that statement was true, the killings dropped immensely toward the end of the war. You did stop killing.

"Just... Give me another chance. Don't give up on me... please." You pleaded.

"Tell me you didn't come here with the expectation that I would take you back just because you can feel emotions again." You frowned and glanced down.

"I just wanted to see you," You replied, "One last time..." You whispered.

"What does that mean?" Poe questioned.

"I'm..." You trailed off, stumbling slightly because your knees gave out from under you. Poe quickly threw out his arms and caught you before you could hit the ground.

"What’s going on?" Poe asked.

"Some werewolves jumped me a couple days ago..." You explained softly. You grabbed your jacket sleeve and slowly rolled it up your forearm, exposing the infected bite. Poe stared down at the bite mark, shocked.

"Heh... I'm dying..." You chuckled lightly, smiling weakly. Poe reached down and picked up your legs, carrying you bridal style.

"What're you—"

"—Shh."

Poe carried you back to his house and laid you down on his couch in the living room. Poe crouched down beside you and you shifted, getting comfortable.

"Poe..." You muttered.

"Just relax," Poe replied. Poe gently reached up and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I know... You hate me," You began softly, "And that's fine. But I..." You gently put your hand on his cheek, "I love you, Poe. I always have."

He mumbled your name, then used his hand to lower yours.

"What I felt was real... And I hope what you felt was real too... I just want to ask you one thing." You continued.

"What is it?" Poe asked softly.

"You know no vampire has survived a werewolf bite. And you know how painful a bite is in its final stages... I just want you to..." You stopped, taking deep breaths.

"You're asking me to kill you?" Poe asked.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it at the bar..." You replied, "Please... I wouldn't have it any other way." Poe looked down in deep thought.

"There's no way around this. I'm not gonna live..." You laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood, "This... This is where our love story ends." Despite the weak smile on your face, tears escaped your eyes.

Poe felt tears prick his eyes, "What about your family?"

"I don't even know where they are..." You answered. "Just do this one thing for me..."

Poe remained silent and stood up. "I'll be right back. Try and rest," He said softly. Poe walked away from you, thinking about his options.

He didn't have many. Let you suffer from the werewolf bite or... just put you out of her misery now. There was no cure for a werewolf bite. You were going to die.

Poe entered his room, feeling a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't want to admit it out loud but he did care about her. Deep down. He did.

Poe pulled out a duffle bag from underneath his bed and unzipped it. He reached inside and pulled out a stake. Poe exited his room and headed back toward you.

Poe gently lifted up your upper body and slipped on the couch under you, resting you back on his chest, putting the stake on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Hey," Poe said softly, "I'm here. Just breathe."

You slowly looked up at him, "I can't believe I'm about to die with the entire galaxy thinking I'm a monster... Including you," You said.

"You're not a monster. I spent a long time blaming you for what happened between us. I'm sorry. You deserve peace." Poe said, his voice shaking slightly. Your gaze fell and she saw the stake sitting on the table

"Look at me," Poe mumbled, grabbing your chin and turning your head back up to him.

"Careful. I might think you actually care about me." You joked, your breaths getting shallower and shallower.

"Maybe I do." Poe replied, keeping his voice quiet and soft. Poe moved his hand to grab the stake from the table. Your eyes followed his movements.

"Hey, look at me," Poe said, seeing you look away. You gazed back up at him, "Just keep your eyes on me, yeah? Just look at me. Nothing else." You nodded again.

Poe brought the tip of the stake to your chest with shaky hands and then felt your hand on his, telling him that it's okay. "Don't forget me, okay?" You asked softly.

"I won't..." Poe answered, "I'll never forget you." Poe said softly, tears building in his eyes.

You nodded, tears falling down your face. You could feel him moving his hand back. "Wait," You whispered, using your hand to stop his hand, "Tell me you love me... Even if it's a lie. Please..."

"I love you." Poe replied with a shaky tone. Those words brought you a strange sense of peace. You finally felt peace. You leaned your head against his chest and closed your eyes. Poe pulled his hand back slightly and then stabbed your heart.

You gasped and Poe finally let the tears fall. Poe rested his chin on top of your head. Poe looked down and watched your body turn a dark grey color. You were desiccating. You were dead.

Poe sighed defeatedly and planted a kiss on top of your head. "I love you." Poe repeated quietly.

my one tag lol : @damndamer0n

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #star wars #poe dameron x you #writing

24 notes · View notes

dulcetscen · 4 years

Note

Hi! Thank you for doing these requests! I discovered your blog recently, and your Run with the Wind scenarios are amazing! Could I please request angst with a happy ending with a female S/O with Shindo? :) He's such a precious one! Maybe you could use his breakup or when he got sick as inspiration. Can't wait to read what you wrote! Have a lovely day!

I’m actually kind of nervous to post this! Lol I think it’s because it my first long fic in a while, so I’m not sure if it’s actually good or not. It’s also not as angsty as I would like it to be, but I have to admit that I’m not all that good at writing angst in the first place.

I do hope that you enjoy this though! I’m so so so sorry for taking so long to get this out for you, so I completely understand if there’s no interest for it, or if you completely forgot about it. 🙇‍♀️

Thank you so much for requesting, I had a bit of fun writing it. 🤍

“Are you seeing someone else already?”

Her voice caught him off guard and visibly startled him before he could turn around.

To say that he was surprised to see her would be an understatement, but by the scowl on her face and the way her eyes pierced through his with pain and jealousy, Shindo knew that she wasn’t in the mood for small talk or catching up.

“Well, Shindo?” She pressed, her hand resting on her hip as she rose a perfectly kept eyebrow, “I saw you two walk in together. You’re on a date, right?”

It was yours and Shindo’s date night tonight - your second one to be exact - a simple movie after grabbing a quick bite to eat at your favorite fast food place. He’d been looking forward to it all week, finally getting a break both from Haiji and his intense training and the ever present stress of being a college student.

But this, meeting her here while he waited for you near the restroom wasn’t something he was expecting, and to put it nicely, seeing her again is definitely putting a damper on his night.

“I am —“

“You didn’t even try to make time for me, Shindo.” A faint pout could been seen on her lips. “It’s only been a few months, and yet you’re already dating someone else.”

“I didn’t mean —“

“You would never open up to me, but here you are a few months later walking in arm in arm with some other girl —“ She paused, her eyebrows furrowing together as she jumped from one thought to another. “Were you… did you cheat on me with her?”

Shindo could feel his face warming up, not because he was guilty, but because he didn’t have a clue of how to respond to this entire situation. She wasn’t giving him much of an opportunity to defend or explain himself, but he knew that if she continued on her train of thought then things could get much worse and more complicated than they were already.

“You really didn’t care for me,” She accused. “I can’t believe you —“

“That’s not true!” It was Shindo’s turn to interrupt, his fists curling in anxiousness. “That’s not true… I didn’t cheat on you, and I did care for you back then” He thought for a moment, trying to piece together his words. “And I would never use [y/n] in that way either.”

“Did?” She spat, her scorn and hurt growing more prominent in her face.

If looks could kill…

But hearing your voice chiming from behind him was the answer to his silent prayers.

“Shindo? Is everything okay?”

Your eyes met with his ex’s, who quickly brought her gaze back to Shindo.

Another moment passed before she finally rolled her eyes and turned away from Shindo, her arms crossing over her chest.

“Goodbye Shindo. I guess I made a great decision when I dumped you.” The last part of her words dropped with poison.

With that she was gone, soon turning a corner and disappearing into the late night movie crowd in the theater.

Just as lost when you heard the last bit of Shindo’s defense, you waited in silence for him to say something.

He’d mentioned his ex, how their breakup was sudden but expected. But being his friend for years before you started dating, you knew how much the loss hurt him. Now you were hoping that her sudden appearance wouldn’t bring him back to that state.

And to be completely honest, you also couldn’t help but hope that the feelings he once had for her wouldn’t resurface.

You didn’t notice the large sigh that he released, or when he finally turned to face you with the ghost of a light smile only for it to fall away at the notice of your crestfallen appearance.

“[y/n]? Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh yeah,” You laughed awkwardly, “I should be the one asking you that question.”

Shindo had always been observant and so discerning of situations, especially when it came to you.

Taking a moment to muster up the courage, he stepped forward and took your hand in his, leading you back to the front of the theater, through the front doors.

“Shindo?” You questioned, looking back at the theater that grew further and further away with every step he lead you to. “What about the movie?”

“I want to show you something.” He looked back at you and smiled. “You’ll like it more than the movie… I hope.”

He led you to a small trail through a lightly forested area, the pathway still lit with the deep orange hues of the setting sun.

As beautiful as the scenery was, with every step you took your mind raced more and more. Did he still have feelings for her? It had only been about six months since they broke up. Was he dating you to make her jealous? Was he only dating you as a rebound? But Shindo wouldn’t do that, would he?

“[y/n]?”

Lost in your thoughts you didn’t realize how much time had passed, or where he led you.

But the way the setting sun reflected on the water of the small creek you stood before, and how the dragonflies lightly skimmed the surface of the water, and how quiet and tucked away this spot was, you knew that this area was special.

So why did he bring you here?

“I found it when I went on a jog a few days ago,” He offered as if he could read your mind. “I thought you would like it and have been wanting to bring you here ever since.”

You glanced over at him, catching the admiring gaze that he already had set on you. Growing suddenly nervous, you looked away from him, “I do, really like it.”

He could tell that you were being genuine but knew that your spirit was bothered by what you had walked in on.

“I’m sorry if that ruined our date, I promise to make it up to you if you let me.”

A promise of another date, a subtle confession that he was still interested.

“You want to go on another date?”

“Yes?” Shindo paused, genuinely confused at your surprise, “Spending time with you is something that I look forward to… all week actually. I don’t want to make the same mistake with you — not making time for you. I want to make sure that I do everything right this time, or at least try to.”

“So you don’t want to be with her anymore?”

Shindo’s face grew sad and he gave a light squeeze to your hand, reminding you that he never actually let it go.

“I want to be with you, [y/n]. No one else.”

Those few words were all you needed to dispel the uncertainty that built up over the last few moments. You put as much trust in those words as you did in the moon to rise every night.

And while it was too soon to say that you loved him, you had an inkling of a feeling that today would mark that start of that sentiment.

#shindo #takashi sugiyama #sugiyama takashi #sugiyama takashi x reader #shindo x reader #kazetsuyo #Kaze ga tsuyoku fuiteiru #run with the wind #kkat999

66 notes · View notes

a-spell-a-rebel-yell · 2 years

Text

March!

hello, guys, girls, and pals everywhere you are! ✨

welcome to the monthly update and i'm pretty excited for this one. again, nothing major happened/will happen (as far as i know... it's still the first week of March, i'll get write more post if anything remotely stirring and/or different than my usual mundane days happened heheh) but expect for lots of updates since, i don't know these days, especially since the start of 2022 i always feel like the idea of tomorrow makes my heart beats a lil faster 😂

so, in March first we have motogp and f1's start of season, accompanied with the release of motogp's new reality series (motogp unlimited) and f1's 3rd season of Drive to Survive! well it's more like a documentary and i don't know why i called it reality series, but i think it's because it does feel like a reality show since it reeks of juicy pitlane/grid/parc fermé gossips 😋 i miss spending my weekend watching free practices, qualifying, and races... not to mention f1 has finally permanented sprint race for selected grands prix. and do you know what's cooler? this March finally, at last, long overdue, Indonesia will host a motogp GP! it's called Indonesian GP, and the venue will be the Mandalika circuit. i reeeally want to go, but now that i have a tight working schedule, i can't go 😭 maybe one day, i still have to save up lots of money too hahaha. well, prayer circle for a smooth season for my favorite riders and drivers! 🤞🏻

second, coldplay's Music of the Spheres world tour is starting on March 18th!!! i can't believe it... another world tour is actually happening and brewing. i'm still super patient waiting for Asia and Oceania dates, i'm definitely going if there's any show close to me. my parents have given me the pass, yay! it doesn't really help with listening to tour playlist and rewatching my fancams from A Head Full of Dreams tour five years ago... fingers crossed i can manage to secure a ticket 🤞🏻

i think that's all (again, for now lol) but i'm already so pumped. aside of aforementioned events, now that i have a steady job/working schedule, i kinda look forward for every new day. i can't exactly pinpoint why, and i think it's kind of odd in a way people don't usually feel enthusiastic for something as common as just living the day, but that's my current situation 😂 it's calming though, it's as if i knew where to find happiness even in the simplest thing to keep me going. this apparently unusual behavior also corroborates with the way i'm now more relaxed if there were things out of my control do spiral out of control. like i know i've done my best, so i just need to go with what i know and do well, whatever the result is second to that.

in a similar context: i have a short story of me handling pediatric dentistry patient aka tiny children last week! it's a little bit funny and memorable to me for some reason haha. so, last Friday i had a mother and her seven-year old son came to the clinic, asking me to extract his canine deciduous/primary tooth. it was already so mobile, you can literally move it around with ease, and pluck it in one pull. the mother said she could've take it out herself at home, but he won't let her, and wanted a dentist to do it for him. i asked whether he had been in previous dental appointments before, to approximate what kind of approach i'll do (tooth extraction is a quite distressing thing to children, any misstep might trigger/traumatize them) and she said he went two tooth extractions with their previous dentist already, so i breathed in relief lol.

is that it? did it go smoothly? well, not really 😂 i did a lil chit-chat with the boy and found out he was actually afraid. in this kind of case, it'll be 39483387545 times harder to even start a treatment, and how true it was: he didn't even want to sit on the dental unit! any sight of dental instruments seem to shock him to the core as he jumped backwards when i tried to hand him a mouth mirror. he started crying loudly and the mother (who was four-months pregnant) was so close to just straight up shout at him. realizing the escalation of the situation, i quickly search for solution in my head. i was panicking actually, because i was alone and there was no one to assist me (normally there's a dental nurse but we don't have them on Fridays) but i couldn't show it since kids are good observants and they mirror you. so my tactic was to gain his trust, calm him down, and finish the treatment quickly.

that's proven easier said than done, because it took me and the mother a whole half an hour to reduce his crying into a soft wail and for him finally sit on the dental chair 😆 to gain his trust, i used my softest voice in a sweet tone while talking and more importantly i never lie. to get around stressing details i used euphemisms and only tell half the truth hehe but it worked. after more digging, he likes Roblox so we talked about that briefly, and it was like an achievement of a lifetime when his eyes brightened at the fact that i know and can converse about the game.

but that wasn't even enough, because the sight of me wearing the latex gloves scared him again and he burst into another fit of tears 🤪 he didn't even let my fingers go anywhere near my mouth. so my tactic then expanded into modelling. this time i decided to strip off my level 3 PPE, took off my mask so i could show my face and my (hopefully) comforting smile, and showed him how i rubbed topical anesthesia on my lips. this approach is used just so kids understand we're not harming them, and that whatever we're doing is okay. the boy started to feel curious as his eyes were fixed on me and my lips lol and since i actually use the topical anesthetic gel, my lower lip was numb 🤣 only after that i could rub the gel on his lips and gums as well.

took so many careful steps but i finally gained his trust and he let me touch the tooth. the mother distracted him by giving him youtube to watch and i tried to strike another conversation just so his attention was divided into several stuffs at once. this helped in making sure he' wouldn't be too focused on the pain/inconvenience about to be felt during the extraction. also as i said earlier, he too was afraid of dental instruments, so i made an independent decision to not use forceps but just my fingers. (reminder: the exemption is just for this case, not to be confused as a guideline, a forceps is still the safest and standard instrument for any extraction)

slowly twisting the tooth between my index finger and thumb to measure the mobility, i then pull it out in one swift motion. there was a bit of periodontal ligament still connected to the gums so the boy felt a bit of discomfort (he translated it into pain) so he cried a lil again 😂 but i quickly redirected his attention to bite a cotton roll and showed him his tooth. here i explained that the 'pain' he felt was not because of the extraction but the sharp serrated edge of the tooth's root. i made him touch gingerly the uneven root lines with his fingertips, and he seemed to understand that. what i told him was actually a half-the truth 😂 but if that's what it takes to ensure him having more courage to get another tooth extraction, then why not?

after it was done, i talked with the mother again. i was more into finding out why the boy acted that way despite this was not his first time, and finally she told me that they used to go to older (senior) dentists, and while they're obviously more skilled/experienced, but they were not patient with him, and was being hostile towards him. i suspect they kinda forced it on him, and that's one thing you can't do to a child patient. one agonizing thing will be branded on their memory forever and it's super tricky to reset it.

tooth extraction in pediatric dentistry is really like walking on thin ice. i can never know the right spot to step my foot on, but all i need to do is do it delicately and always listen/look for the signs. and i'm super happy to see this one patient finally went home with a smile, even after shedding tears dramatically at first 😁 he seemed to trust me and the mother said she'll schedule another appointment with me for further treatments. to have all that because of my doing, it's incomparable! one of the many reasons why i love being a dentist. improving someone's life one visit at a time hehe

well! that turned out into a quite long story, teehee. actually this is just one of 39473452067486 dental patients related story i have, but i like/want to post this one because of the uniqueness of the case/situation.

people said if you can get through March then you can get through the rest of the year, so let's hope we all can make it out alive until 2023, eh? 🤩 see you in the next post!

#omg i can use new tag then #a day in the life of a dentist #hehehe #alhamdulillah

0 notes

treadmilltreats · 3 years

Text

The lessons in the pain

I remember watching Oprah once and her guest was Shirley McClain. Oprah asked her who helped her and inspired her most on her spiritual journey.

Her answer surprised me, she said the people that had hurt her the most, that they were the ones who helped her the most.

Wow, that was an "Oprah light bulb moment for me. Yes, I knew exactly what she was talking about!

It is when you are at your lowest, in the darkest of places that you learn the most. You learn to rely on yourself and your faith. I know many times that while I was in the midst of pain, I couldn't see the lesson. I, like many of you, couldn't see past the next day, the next minute. It hurt so bad that you can't see past the next second, and it seems like the pain will never end.

For me as soon as I was hurt, I did the one thing I have done that had kept me going through all my bad times, I prayed. Yes, I prayed for the strength to get through this, to help me see why this had happened, to help me through the pain. I prayed for the lesson I needed to learn because to me there is always a lesson in your pain.

As the days go by and your pain turns into anger, you start questioning yourself, the person you trusted and maybe for some people, you even start to question your faith. Why did this happen to me? How could I be so stupid? If there was a God, how could he allow this to happen? Yeah, that's a big one, even for me at the lowest point of my life, I asked this.

Eventually you let go of the anger and this is where most people will do one of two things, either they will carry the hurt and pain and they will become untrusting and bitter or they will look for the lesson in the situation.

I always chose to look for the lesson that God wants me to learn. What can I take away from this hurt and pain, that will teach me something for the next time.

When I got divorced I should have gotten alimony but didn't and I was hurt and angry. Why was it that after all these years that he got away with treating me so bad and here he was winning again? How could this be happening, I prayed, I went to church, I tried to always do the right thing, and this was so not fair!

When I got over myself and tried to look for a reason and a lesson why this happened, I realized that God wanted me to truly be independent. He wanted me to believe that I could do this, to be able to cut all ties with my ex, so that he would never again have anything to hold anything over my head and yet again he was right. I am so glad I can do this all on my own and that the only person I depend on now, is God.

When I dated Mr. Con Artist I asked what were the lessons this taught me? At first I couldn't see any, I was too hurt and angry. I kept asking myself, was I too trusting? I believed the best of people, okay, so am I too native?

No, what I realized is that the lessons were what I taught my daughters. That no matter what, you don't need a lying, cheating man, and that there are no second chances for that. You don't need a man who is not going to treat you like the queen you are.

I realized that I no longer needed a man to take care of me, to make me whole or complete me, I got this and I like myself too much to let anyone ever again treat me less than.

I realized my true purpose, to write and inspire others, to be a voice, to call out injustice and fight for others that don't have the strength. Since realizing this my writing has never been better.

And to finally stop and listen to my inner voice, to feel one with my God and the universe and to know when something doesn't feel right, it's not. Listen and then take action. Pray and then be quiet so that you might feel his presence. It has taught me to know my faith can and will get me through anything life is going to throw at me.

I needn't worry because even in the darkest hours I know that I had my faith and I believed it would all be okay.

Yes, these are incredible lessons I needed to learn and I am truly grateful, so yes, I want to thank you for lying, for cheating and for putting me through this pain, for without all of this I would have never learned these lessons.

So today my friends, look inside yourself, look at the people who have hurt you the most and then look for the lessons and thank them for helping you through your spiritual journey. But let me remind you, that it is not a spiritual journey if you refuse to look for the lessons. It will not teach you anything if you don't take the lessons and make a change. You will not grow if you do not forgive and move on.

You need to say thank you for hurting me, I've learned the lessons, I forgive you and I am moving on. It is only then that you will be okay, when you can do all these things. I know it will sometimes feel impossible but trust and believe it is possible as long as you remember you are the captain of your own boat, and it's all up to you.

Be the change you want to see"

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

The Blessing in Disguise.... revealed

https://www.amazon.com/Blessing-Disguise-Revealed-story-faith/dp/1074340493/ref=sr_1_19?keywords=the+blessing+in+disguise&qid=1561392004&s=books&sr=1-19

***Now available***

My 1st book The blessing in Disguise

Selling on my website:

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

And on Amazon.com

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_13?qid=1462358109&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+blessing+in+Disguise

http://www.am6azon.com/gp/aw/d/0692437398/ref=mp_s_a_1_12?qid=1434452632&sr=8-12&pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70&keywords=the+Blessing+in+Disguise

My weekly Youtube page, please subscribe:

https://youtu.be/LDSXCFJVnzM

Http://www.treadmilltreats.com

Twitter: treadmill treats

Instagram: treadmilltreats

Facebook :treadmill treats

#treadmilltreats

#Theblessingindisguise

#TheblessinginDisguiserevealed

#livinglifelarge

#bethechangeyouwanttosee

#Thankyounext

#Garyvee

#Jayshetty

#newyearnewme

#blogginglife

#write

#writer

#blogger

#NewYorktimesbestseller

#womenoffaithtour

#Motivationalspeaker

#OnOprahSupersoulSunday

#Oprah

#TylerPerry

#TylerPerryproducingmylifestory

#thisismypassion

#livingmypurpose

#blogging

#Newyork

#Florida

#internationalblogger

#francescavillardi

#francescavillardienterprise

0 notes

randomnessunicorn-imagine · 7 years

Note

Noo Halloween is almost here but I still haven't done anything about it D: It's a horror ask even it doesn't really have much horror in it Sanses's reaction strange things happens to his house lately and he's always having this same dream, when they had enough and be like:"Whatever you are come at me brah!" And look! It's their s/o who died years ago come back as a ghost like Napsterblook? Did the skeles move on with someone else or they still can't forget s/o and refused to be in love again?

{ Oh, that’s more romantic than spooky~!

PAPS’ VERSION }

👻 Sansy ;

He is not the kind of person who is able to move on especially after a loss so it takes a lot of time before Sans can accept your death and it’s something that torments him every night. His brother always tries to help him and Papyrus knows how Sans loves you, maybe he has never loved someone the same way he loved you so he just ignores the pains and he does not do anything with his life because he has no effort. Even the relationship with you happened by mistake since he’s not the type of guy who organizes stuff and he has never thought about romance and dates, he’s not like Papyrus. Then, Sans has always thought he was not made for love and he would have never found his special person and he did not care that much. Then, you came into his life and he was so unprepared and shocked, Sans could not believe it and love is a mysterious sentiment, too illogical to him. For this reason you have been the first to declare your feelings to him, since he thinks he’s hopeless but maybe his self-esteem is too low and with you he felt true loved and worthy, he found a new reason to keep hoping and, maybe, to smile a little more without lying.Obvious, all these hopes and smiles fade away the moment you disappeared but, at least, he got still his brother so he can keep going with him. He is used to pain so he tries to act smooth despite your absence.When he found out you came back to life in the form of a ghost, he’s incredulous and he can’t believe his eyes. It’s impossible so he thinks he’s dreaming and his mind is still joking with him. Then, you start speaking telling him that you have never stopped to love him even now that you are a ghost and you desire to stay by his side for the rest of the eternity despite you are unable to give him the same things because you are a ghost so your life is complete different. Actually, Sans does not care about the form you have, it’s still you and it’s the most important thing to him. He’s a simple guy and he’s glad you are still alive and he has never stopped to be in love with you, too. Sans keeps his tears, he tries not to cry but you can notice his eyes are wet and it’s so difficult to speak for him. He does not say anything and the silence, just like his expression of joy, says so much more than thousand words.

👻 Reddy ;

He is also a person who is unable to move on after a loss and he cannot find peace or, at least, it requires a lot of time before he can feel normal again. He never says he’s fine and he hates when persons ask that horrible question “how are you?” because it sounds so hypocrite to his ears and he always says “ah, well…”, “shitty”, “normal”, “could be better”, and others answers like these.Since you’ve been gone he’s totally apathetic and blue, it’s the same feeling he felt when he lost his brother during all those genocide runs so it’s not a new feeling for him but it’s not welcome neither.Sans keeps living his life the way he did before he met you, that’s not so different from his usual and he’s always the lazy and demotivated skeleton of everyday, so his routine is always the same. Even if he feels a deep hole in his soul that it’s your lack and he’s still so sad to talk about it and he keeps all these negative sentiments inside his heart and it’s not so healthy. The moment you present to him like a ghost, he cannot believe his eyes and maybe he hallucinates since he’s sleeping not so well and he’s so stressed so maybe his mind has decided to make fun of him.Then, you explain to him that it’s your new form and you came back to life even if you are unable to explain the reasons of this phenomenon. Sans does not know what to say, he feels different sentiments. He’s happy because he missed you a lot but he’s so confused and shocked because it’s weird, but he’s also afraid because it can be a joke and he’s not ready to lose you a second time. After a while, when he realizes it’s not a dream and you are alive and you still love him, he cries like a little baby and it’s the first time you see him crying, he has never cried since you’re dead and he kept all his pains inside so now he explodes because he’s unable to control his emotions anymore. Just hug him, promising him you will never leave him.Sans does not care if you are a ghost or anything else, he considers himself as a freak and you are still the same person so he’s glad and he will get used to it.

👻 Blueberry ;

To the contrary of the other skeletons, he’s the kind of person who looks forward the future and he tries to move on despite the pains. Sans is a very optimist and motivated person and it’s so rare seeing him unhappy or angry for something. Obvious, he cried a lot when you died and he could not believe something so terrible happened to you. It’s been difficult to him and the feelings he felt for you was so pure and true and he felt them even now but life goes on and it’s unhealthy being anchored to his own past, and new opportunities can be the solution to find a new meaning after the catastrophe. He’s been in grieved all these years and it took so much time before he considered himself “healed” from all those mental pains your loss gave to him. He has never forgot you and you will remain forever in his heart because you are an important part of his life but he decided to move on with somebody else, the person who has been able to help him during these difficult moments bringing some light in his dark life.You don’t have to be mad at him and every person acts different towards situations and problematics and he will be always your friend. The moment you show yourself to him, Sans is quite shocked and he needs time before he can realize this fact. It’s something so weird but marvellous and he’s happy to see you again. Then, when you said that you still love him and you want to stay with him again, you notice an expression you have never seen on his face: seriousness but, at the same time, melancholia because it’s difficult to explain.Sans confesses to you that he loves another person now, he’s going to marry soon. He felt hell and pain without you and he missed you so much but he could not lose himself in desperation and this life is only one so people have to take decisions and move on. It’s what he did and you have to forgive him. How could he imagine you were going to come back to life? Nobody could, it’s been totally unexpected. He’s sorry but he cannot turned back to his past leaving his actual S/O alone.You should take this new opportunity and start a new life like he did, moving on with somebody else.

👻 Blackberry ;

Sans has never cried since you’ve been gone and he acted always the same like nothing happened.Actually, it’s his way to survive the pains of your loss because it’s been terrible and he had never imagined a life without you could be so sore. Sans was shocked a strong person like him could be so depressed for the absence of another person. Since he always acts so narcissist and harsh everyone would say he’s unable to feel some positive emotions towards others.He vents his sufferance through his job and he puts all his effort in it because he has a lot of energy to release and he does not want to get sick or tired so he overworks himself. Unluckily, it’s only another way to get sick and tired but, at least, the exhaustion does not make him think about you and so he can ignore his pains until they disappear alone. He did his best to forget you, to heal from these awful pains, and at the end, he’s able to do it thanks to his perseverance and his life returns peaceful again. Actually, he does not want to start a new life with somebody else because he does not want to suffer again, it was unfair. He becomes a little lonelier and he is not ready to begin a new relationship. Then, when you appear to him in the form of a ghost, he’s quite confused and he cannot believe his eyes… Is he dreaming? Are you still alive? Sans does not know what to think so he needs time to realize the situation. All his scars, in the instant he saw you, opened again and he perceived a sort of melancholia, sadness in his soul.You confess to Sans that you still love him and you want him to accept you for the new person you are. Your appearance is changed but your sentiment is still the same. Sans thinks it’s a joke and he yells that he has suffered too much without you and he just wants to feel good again. He acts so stubborn and harsh. After some days, when he will be calmer, he will say to you that maybe the two of you can try but it won’t be easy because years have passed and he’s changed as well and he has tried so hard to forget you but maybe that was not his true desire. He does not promise things will be fine and, obvious, this relationship will never be like before but he wants to try so he won’t regret anything.

42 notes · View notes