#i couldn’t be more in love by the 1975 plays | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lanadelreyscokewhor3 · 1 year

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IF YOU’RE TOO SHY (LET ME KNOW)- S.G ROGERS

Pairing: Uni! Nerd! Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: you’re the new girl at school, and the more steve rogers sees you, the more his crush grows. after a few weeks of texting, a date is set. but he doesn't hook up on the first date, because that's not being a gentleman. right?

Warnings: SMUT, pure filth, praise kink, slight degradation, daddy kink, spanking, cum play, dry humping, dirty talk, manhandling, petnames, swearing, biting/ marking, size kink, but lots of fluff :))

“maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes, im not playing with you baby- i think that you should give it a go. she said, maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes... i wanna see and stop thinking if youre too shy, then let me know”- if youre too shy (let me know), the 1975

“She's so beautiful Buck. You’ll just love her.” Steve insisted, baby blues all wide and excited, cheeks tinted pink as he ran his hands through his blonde locks, tugging on the strands a bit harder than he’d normally- the butterflies plaguing his muscles.

He had never felt so in love, and he hadn't even talked to you in person yet. It was a sickness, the love drunk that had occurred, no amount of Advil or water the cure to the hangover.

Bucky was sick of him. He was sure of it.

He had blabbed about you for weeks now, seeming to go in a daze as he’d ramble on. Mhmm. Well, just talk to her after class Steve!

He’d just shake his head. He couldn't just do that! How could he? You were so alluring, a siren calling him out from sea. Steve just couldn't… the courage he had always had seeming to come to a halt. It was abrupt, a deer in headlights as he watched you walk into the lecture hall.

The new girl. Full of spunk and energy, a bright smile on your face as you looked around the room, meeting his eye. He offered you a small smile, a little wave before you found your place near the front.

You matched his energy well. So well, he was scared you weren't even real. Her name is Y/N. You want her number or something? His friend Natasha had asked him earlier that month, nudging his shoulder to gather his attention again. Sorry. Yes, please. He was too busy daydreaming about you again, gaze drifting off to the endless rows of books in the old library.

Steve had been anxious to send the text, his endless pacing back and forth enough to drive Bucky straight up the wall. He had never seen the man so nervous. Especially over a girl.

Should I do it? What do I say? Is this weird? Shut the fuck up already and send something Rogers you're driving me insane. He had replied, smacking a pillow over his head to tune Steve out. He gathered his wits about him, taking a deep breath before he hit send.

hey, it’s steve, from tuesdays class. not sure if you remember me, but i’m the blonde who waved lol. i got your number from a friend, hope thats okay:)

There. He had done it! Now was the waiting. But it didn’t last long, as his phone buzzed in his pocket only a few minutes later.

hey you! yes yes, i remember. i’m Y/N <3

I know, he wanted to say. Instead, he acted dumb. Dumb and sweet was the way to your heart he found out later, all the sweet messages and daily photos of each other's day blossomed into something more than just classmates.

But he still hadn't talked to you in person yet. And he knew you were too shy to say anything first- so it was just a waiting game. Finally, all these days later- he had asked you on a date.

Nothing major. Nothing fancy. Just coffee, and a walk around the villa. Simple and fun, Bucky had reassured, thankful his best friend had finally made the move. He was blind if he thought you weren't into him. Blind and stupid.

Bucky walked with him now, bundling his jacket tighter around himself as the slight breeze ruffled his hair. It was a cool evening, but not freezing- a perfect happy medium for the season.

“I’m sure she is. Since you never seem to shut up about her.” Bucky teased, resulting in a smack across the arm from Steve.

“I’m serious man. I’m just so anxious about this. What if she actually like.. hates me or something?”

“Impossible. And if anything goes wrong, I’m just three blocks away.” Bucky shrugged, as Steve’s phone buzzed.

five mins away :)

“She’s almost here.” he sighed, starting to fidget with his rings as Bucky dropped him off at the cafe's doors. He had never felt this tense before a date, which he knew meant he really, really liked you. The countless times he had stalked your social media and hours of sleep he lost due to waiting to hear back from you had proved that.

So what could possibly go wrong?

“Well get a table, talk about the weather- and it’ll be all good from there.”

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“And so I told him no, because like what? That's not just something you do at a gas station?” you laughed, making Steve nearly choke on his coffee. You were so happy to be sitting with the man you had been swooning over for weeks now, heart fluttering the second the two of you locked eyes in the lecture hall.

He was dreamy, gush-worthy standards. And now here he was, so many days later- sitting in front of you with a cup of coffee in hand. You had examined his choice of drink very carefully, knowing that could reflect on many things. Just as many other little things did, like if he slept with socks on or if he only picked the m&ms out of trail mix.

Steve had a safe, solid choice- two creams and one sugar. Dark roast. You knew he was a good one.

“I’m sure. Jesus people are crazy.” he snorted, swirling the little wooden stir stick around in his coffee as he admired you. You felt yourself start to fold in on itself the longer he gazed at you, stare so deep and meaningful you were scared you'd start giggling and kicking your feet right there.

You wouldn't be surprised if you did. Steve had that effect on you, always making you swoon from across the class, each text he sent making you smile. He had a heart next to his contact name, for god's sake. But there was no way in hell you'd tell him that. At least not on the first date.

You weren't even sure if he liked you back- as sometimes flirting flew straight over your head. You were funny like that sometimes. But tonight had seemed to have gone well, at least in your mind. The two of you had been talking for hours, getting little pastries and new drinks to try throughout the evening. It was dark out now, the moon high in the sky, shining down on the little vintage cafe with its dozens of tealights and oil lamps.

You sipped your drink, still hot on the tongue as you met his stare. He smiled. That goddamn, cheeky smile that kept you up at night. One that screamed danger, and mischief and everything you wanted. A thrill, an adventure. Something fun- something your small town refused to offer.

“Whatta thinking about?” he asked, breaking the easy silence that lingered over the pair of you like a veil. Like you were in your own little bubble, where no one could touch you.

“Just you. And how you're different.” His eyebrow quirked up. “How so?”

“ Well you haven't asked me to take off my clothes. Or made any sexual comments. Or said ‘maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes’, so I like you.” you said, taking another sip of coffee to let those words digest.

He just smiled, shaking his head slowly. “Well of course not. I mean, not that you aren't beautiful and so fucking hot and I mean-”

You laughed.

“Okay, you know what I’m getting at. But what I’m trying to say is that I’m a gentleman. And I would never ask that of you if you didn’t want it.” A sly grin tugged at your lips, legs crossing under the table as you squeezed your thighs together.

“What if I want it?”

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“I don’t normally do this on the first date ya know.” Steve murmured against your neck, breath hot as he kissed down your neck, grip tightening around your thighs as he hosted you up against the wall.

It had been a few hours later, some odd hour in the night after the coffee and the little walk down the side streets, popping into old bookstores and antique stores where he watched you marvel over little things like signed paperbacks and old purses his great grandma probably had. He was infatuated with you.

Somehow his hand had ended up intertwined with yours, your arm bumping his as he walked you back to your place. Do you… maybe wanna come inside? You had asked, little doe eyes wide, voice as soft as silk. How could he say no? He never said no to you.

Now here he was, dry humping you in your entranceway, barely two steps in the door before your lips had met his. You were drawn to him like a magnet, falling under his spell as your neck rolled back against the plaster, letting him have more access.

“No? Wanting to keep up your gentlemanly acts? Promise I won't tell.” you teased, breath hitching as he traced your collarbone with his nose, finally sinking his teeth into the soft skin. Your hips rolled against his lower abs, desperate for any friction you could get.

“Pinky promise?” he breathed, causing a moan to escape your parted lips as he squeezed your skin, licking the teeth marks as he dipped his mouth even lower.

“P-pinky.” you stuttered. It was getting harder and harder to think clearly, movements blurring as if he was switching the lenses on your eyesight. Hands were on your ass, in his hair, tugging on those beautiful long strands to then wrap around his neck.

Teeth clashed with tongue as he devoured you whole, and you felt as if you were on a carnival ride as he spun you over to your bedroom. You prayed he didn’t notice the piles of old, dog-eared books that were piled against the wall so high they were on the verge of toppling over, or your cluttered nightstand with so many candles and jewelry it had no other purpose. Steve didn’t seem to mind the mess, solely focused on how your breath sounded when it was uneven and when you were flustered, the giggles that emerged when he tossed you down on the sheets like a sack of potatoes.

You liked being manhandled by him. You liked how he had wasted no time throwing you up against the wall, taking charge in such a respectful, yet sexy manner. This had only happened in your late-night thoughts, little flirty texts that you had sent when you got the courage past eleven pm nothing compared to this. You had always wondered what he would be like in bed, ever since you stepped foot in that classroom. It didn’t disappoint in the slightest.

“God you're so- so fucking hot. You know how many times I've thought of this? Hearing your little noises when I make you feel good?” You whined. He groaned, tugging off your pants.

“Yeah. Yeah, fuck like that baby. You’re such a good girl for me aren't you?”

There it was. That was the money shot. Something in your demeanor shifted, eyes wide as you nodded frantically. Yes. Yes, you were and he knew it. “Please Steve just-”

“Just what angel face? Hmm? Fuck you?” he antagonized you, as if he was talking to a mere child.

“Please. Please fuck.” The words had barely left your lips before he grabbed your hips, flipping you over so you were presented to him, ass in the air, face deep in the sheets. Your shirt had yet to come off, but you had a feeling it was going to meet your bottoms on the hardwood, the two of you too desperate to both with the flimsy article of clothing.

“God you're so easy to manhandle. You like that huh? Being tossed around like a slut?”

“Mhmmm god yes..” you moaned, letting out a quick yelp as he smacked your ass lightly, your hands curling into tight little fists as you gripped the blankets. You could feel the breath get trapped in your lungs as he kissed the skin he had just slightly marked, lips like a cooling serum to the heat in your belly.

“Breathe angel. Just breathe for me yea? You tell me when it’s too much.”

“What, don’t wanna get too freaky on the first date?” you chriped out, making him laugh.

“Something like that.”

“I like this, ya know. I like you. And I don’t feel shy around you, like I have with other people. You’re good to me, Steve.”

He smiled softly, chest blooming with warmth at your reassuring words. He was so happy. All he wanted was for you to feel comfortable around him, to feel wanted. Because he wanted you. Oh, gods did he ever want you.

“Good.” was the only warning he gave you before he hit home, sliding into you gently. “Fuck. Fuck fuck you feel so fucking good.” was all he could moan, head tossed back in pleasure as you squeezed around him, adjusting to his size.

He was big. Like extremely big. All you could do was whimper, praying to every god that was out there that you could take him.

“S’big Stevie. M’all full.” you squeaked, a rough growl escaping from his lips at your words. “Yea baby? I’m just so much bigger than you- aren't I? Filling you up to the brim, like a little hole for me to use.”

He brushed your g-spot as his hips began to snap, cock drilling into you so fast you swore you saw stars. All you could do was hold onto the bed, allowing your body to fall limp, going slack as he used you.

“You're so good. Such a good, good princess.” he praised, large hand pressed down slightly on your back as you arched, moans muffling into the sheets. You prayed your neighbors weren't home, or else you knew you'd get the dirty looks and silent treatment tomorrow.

Totally worth it, you thought with a dazed-out smile, listening to the sounds of the bed drilling against the wall, springs squeaking in time with his groans, the squelching wet noises of your juices coating his cock.

“M’not gonna last.” you whimpered softly. “S’okay baby. Be a good girl and cum f’me okay poppet?”

You nodded, rumpled sheets bunching tighter between your closed fists as you squeezed him so tight it was suffocating, your clit pulsing a steady rhythm as you came with a cry.

“Atta girl. Milking me dry baby, you really needed that didn’t you?”

“Y-yea Daddy..”

Heat rose to your cheeks. The name had rolled off your tongue before you could stop it, the filter that normally was placed over your words now gone in your dazed-out state. What if you fucked up? That wasn't supposed to come out.

“F-fuck. Daddy huh? I should've known you’d like that shit. Not as much as me though baby.” he growled, grabbing your hips harshly, his thrusts becoming harder, quicker, more erratic.

“Daddy’s making you feel so good hm?”

“So good Daddy. Want you to fuck me alll the timee.” you giggled softly, whining as you felt him slip out of your abused hole.

“Wha-”

“Shhh poppet. I didn’t bring any condoms with me and we aren't risking it on the first date.” he shushed you, spilling his seed onto your lower back, stilling your wiggling movements as you begged.

You felt the warm, white liquid ooze against your skin, dribbling down your ass as you wiggled it. The pad of Steve's fingers made you jump, the soft, gentle touch adding even more to the post-orgasm haze.

“I-I have some in my drawer for next time.” He trailed his fingers against the delicate skin, smearing the cum down your thighs, giving you a quick little smack.

“Good to know sweetheart.” he smiled, watching as you slowly turned to face him, doe eyes wide, lips parted slightly.

“So when’s the next date?”

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thatsdemko · 1 year

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fallingforyou - c.leclerc

masterlist

requested: n

pairings: Charles leclerc x gasly!fem!reader

warnings: anxious thoughts + fluff + a time jump (lmk if I missed anything!)

a/n: i made myself sick i wish someone was this in love with me (you’ll see) anywhooo! slightly inspired by the song fallingforyou by the 1975! song is listed below this 👇 have thoughts/comments? feel free to lmk☺️

he’s not into the clichés. he doesn’t believe you can fall in love at first sight, because with you? it wasn’t that way. he’s watched you grow up, and at some point you slipped out of the spotlight in his life and become background noise. he’s forgotten all about you until tonight.

you’re sitting beside kika, your brothers girlfriend, when his eyes land on you for the first time that night. that’s when he started believing in the clichés, because he could’ve sworn that’s when his heart melted in his chest and time stopped. everything around him fell silent to your presence.

your smile lit up the room, the way the corners of your eyes crinkled at a joke and how your head tilted back in the slightest way. it sent a rush of red across his face, because that’s when you spotted him across the room.

your eyes connecting with his, you watched him pull away and try to play it normal. he walks away from where he stood watching you, he’s found Pierre now and decided to spark conversation. but he can’t keep you out of his mind, it’s to the point it’s all he can talk about to your brother.

“well it’s your lucky night.” Pierre’s vague words made Charles face scrunch in confusion. the older man laughs into his drink, head nodding in the direction behind him. you were waltzing your way over after being convinced by kika and the shot of vodka to start something with Charles.

you were oblivious to Charles eyeing you when he entered the bar. you were too into your conversation with kika to have even noticed the Monégasque man had arrived, and couldn’t pull away from staring at you. you weren’t one to be brave and make the first move, but kika couldn’t stop convincing you that you had to do something, it was Charles leclerc after all—despite the significance of his name having a much deeper meaning to you.

“can I steal him from you?” your voice sounds small, you’re nervous for what Pierre was going to say, but he gladly moves along and whispers something into Charles ear. you can’t make out what, but it sends a laugh through his body before he turns to face you.

“it’s lovely to see you.” his smiles soft, sending a rush of butterflies through your stomach. you notice the top button of his white dress shirt is undone, and he smells like a mix of after shave and cologne. it’s a smell you could get lost in.

“I agree, I haven’t seen you in awhile.” you couldn’t place how long it had been, but you assumed it was around the time he and Charlotte began to date. that’s when you stepped away from the spotlight surrounding your brother and his friends, to just being someone who showed up once in a blue moon.

he can’t think of anything to say, it’s embarrassing. he’s too busy taking you in like he’s never going to see you again. he’s noting how the dress hugs your body, the way it makes your eyes pop, how your face looks in the lighting. he’s absolutely infatuated.

“I like complements more than stares.” you chuckle, a light shade of red spreading across both of your faces, but his is far worse. he can feel the moisture spread across his forehead.

“you look beautiful.” you laugh taking his compliment watching him use the back of his hand to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

“we have to work on your flirting skills because there’s no way you can be Mr. Ferrari and be unable to talk to women.” you nervously laugh. he’s never been extremely successful, but somehow he had found himself in a relationship. he never had to try to work his magic on a woman in a long time, it all felt so foreign to him.

“excuse me for being a little out of practice.” he playfully rolls his eyes at your words as he carefully bites his bottom lip watching you nervously play with the hem of your dress.

“I didn’t know you and Charlotte broke up? Pierre didn’t tell me.” you lean against the edge of the bar, you hadn’t even realized you two weren’t alone. you were in a crowded place full of strangers mixed with familiar faces. despite the awkwardness, it felt like you two were alone the whole time. it felt like it was just you two.

he waves his hand in dismissal of the topic, “it was mutual, and not a big deal. besides, I’m pretty focused on the woman in front of me.” he winks and you could’ve sworn you felt your knees buckle. the slight smirk he makes whilst winking, was sexy, you could feel the warmth spread in your stomach.

“well she’s a lucky woman to have your attention.” you move a little closer to him, it’s not a noticeable change, but he noticed how much closer to him you are. he could just reach your waist, and pull you closer, but he’s fingers twitch with anxiety unsure it’s the right move.

“you do realize I’m talking about you, right?” his voice deep, you feel his finger tips grab a hold of the material of your dress pulling you another inch closer to him. your heart thumping loud against your chest, you couldn’t believe this was the first time you’ve been this close to him.

“I do.” you whisper, fingers moving to pull the undone button together, he’s watching you, his breath is slow and gentle afraid if he breathes too loud, you’ll stop what you’re doing.

“quit falling for me, charles. you’re making it hard for me to stop myself.” your eyes move from his chest, up to his chocolate irises that are staring back at you.

his fingers are pulling you closer to him, thumb rubbing circles on your hip, “then don’t stop, fall into me. I’m safe.” his words are comforting, you move your body closer allowing his lips to brush yours. he’s about to pull away, when you grab the nape of his neck pulling him back down so your lips smash his.

his hands are aggressively pulling you into his body like you’re not already as close as you can be. your hands caress his cheeks, as your finger nails move into his hair. everything feels good and right, he’s like a perfect match.

“now I’m really falling for you.”

— 5 YEARS FROM THEN —

the light seeps through the slightly closed blinds, it’s enough to wake you up. your eyes lightly flicker open to see he’s already closing them. he doesn’t want to know how much longer he has, the sun is a constant reminder of the little time that’s left with you.

he lays back into the bed, but he’s next to your body, head resting on your chest, hand pressed against your bare stomach pulling you closer. he can’t get enough of you. usually you’d be so sick of someone this in love, but it’s him after all. you let it slide, raking your fingers through his soft brown hair.

“mon ange,” he whispers, thumb stroking your hip where your tiny pajama shorts clung loose to your body. you don’t have it in you to respond, so he picks his head up, chocolate irises that once were so pure and full, were slightly drained, but still youthful, “I am still falling for you.”

“you never stopped?” you ask, a smile creeping onto your face as he pulls away from your body exposing you to the cool air of the bedroom. you watched his smile spread further across his face as he sheepishly nods in response.

“I’ll never stop.” Charles brings the back of your hand to his lips. his thumb nudging the big diamond that still sits happily on your ring finger after two years of marriage.

“good, me neither.”

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drunk-on-dk · 1 year

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With Somebody Else | Kim Mingyu (m)

✦pairing: fwb!Mingyu x fem!reader

✦genre: SMUT (minors DNI) fluff? angst? fwb feels yenno

✦wc: ~3.0 and some change

✦summary: No longer being able to go back and forth with Mingyu, you decide to seek out somebody else.

NSFW warnings under the cut, minors do not read, 18+ only

✦warnings: no specific pronouns used, but reader has female anatomy; pet names (baby); switch?Mingyu; switch?reader; unprotected sex (safety first pls); gyu has a big dick; grinding; mingyu loves praise; a bit of tears; mentions of alcohol

✦a/n: this was a quick lil thing i wrote up because somebody else by the 1975 has resurfaced in my life and that song is what led me to this. I hope you all enjoy! I tried a lil bit of a different writing style, so I'm hoping it still paces ok. As always I appreciate all feedback, likes, comments, and reblogs <3

Mingyu should have been relieved when he found out you were seeing somebody else for the first time. In fact, he thought it was a lie when Seungcheol filled him in on the details that you’ve been dating someone for the past couple of weeks. However, something ached deep down in Mingyu’s chest upon hearing the news, a fake smile falling onto his features and watching the amber liquid swirl around half-melted ice cubes.

Seungcheol’s knowing gaze was enough to break down Mingyu’s walls. “I just can’t picture Y/N with somebody else.”

Meanwhile, you were desperate to break the string that tied you to Mingyu like a tetherball. Unfortunately, it was like a slow tear, with you fraying away at the other end of the string, and finally cutting yourself loose. It was too complicated, Mingyu didn’t want to pursue dating for fear that it would ruin the dynamic of the friend group, but you honestly couldn’t handle anything less than dating at this point. Mingyu was a kind, loving guy, but his lack of commitment frightened you, thus leading you to finally cut your ties as friends with benefits.

It was difficult, at least to say, as you were stuck with Mingyu regardless of how hard you tried to distance yourself. You saw him at Seungcheol’s pre-games, heard about how he made the final kill shot on the video game Seokmin was playing, scrolled past his recent Instagram post, and he just generally clouded your mind, remembering sweet things he’s done for you all these years as a friend.

You knew what you had to do, you had to start seeing other people, and you could no longer go to Mingyu with wishful thinking that you both were something more than just friends with benefits.

Mingyu didn’t believe you when you declared that you couldn’t see him like this again for the first time. He didn’t believe you when you said you two could only be friends. Not when he had you like this, legs wrapped tightly around his waist and cock nuzzled deep inside you.

He refused to believe you, not at all, continuing to thrust slowly into you and nibbling on your tender skin. “You don’t mean that one bit, baby. I know you love this cock.”

You weren’t sure you believed your words either, but Mingyu’s words hit you right where it hurts. You did love his cock, but you weren’t sure that was just it. Suddenly, friends with benefits became way too complicated and overwhelming for you. Hot tears streamed down your cheeks, Mingyu being sure to kiss them away as he repeatedly hit that one spot deep inside of you that had you clenching tightly around him.

“Fuck, I do love your cock,” you moan out, admitting the very least for now, and trying to make the best of what you assume will be the last.

Mingyu’s lips capture yours, tasting slightly salty from the way he picked up your tears with gentle kisses. Mingyu groans into you as your nails dig into his skin, losing himself in the way your walls throb around him as he picks up his pace. He can’t stop kissing you, relentlessly fucking into you as your walls suck him in deeper, loving the way you whimper and moan into his mouth.

He knows you’re close, he knows your body better than anyone else does or ever will, and he’s confident of that. This is exactly why he doesn’t believe you, not believing that you two could ever go back to just being friends. Not when you both make each other feel this good.

Mingyu is calculated, a large hand running down your body until it finds its way to your clit and his rough thumb rubbing at your swollen clit. He knows you’ll finish like this, pulling away from the kiss to watch your face twist in pleasure, taking note of your slightly raw cheeks from your crying. You're still so beautiful, even when you're a mess beneath him.

He’s correct that you were nearing your finish, watching you come undone underneath him as he follows suit, releasing his hot cum inside of you as you both moan and groan in ecstasy.

You both fell asleep in each other’s arms that night, but Mingyu didn’t wake up with you beside him in the morning like he normally does. Maybe there was some truth in your words, but Mingyu didn’t believe you had it in you to hold out for long. Mingyu knew you’d come back to him eventually.

It was annoying – infuriating actually – how you hadn’t looked up once from your phone, Mingyu wanted to wipe that stupid, cute smile off your face. He wondered if it annoyed your friends as well, how immersed you were with your phone that you couldn’t even enjoy the conversations taking place around you.

He realized it didn’t bother anyone except him, especially when Seokmin cooed upon noticing how flustered you seemed from a text message, “Looks like Y/N has the hots for someone finally.”

Mingyu had to suppress the jealously that bubbled up from deep down inside of him, hating the way his heart stammered at the adorable blush and shy smile that adorned your features.

Why couldn’t he do that? Why didn’t he make you that flustered? Why were you sticking to your words? Why were you seeing other people? And why is he just a friend to you again? Was it that simple for you?

Mingyu found himself kicking you gently underneath the table, yearning to touch you somehow as he has been missing it for quite some time now. You looked up from your phone for the first time in a while, your sparkling eyes catching his with a small smile that slowly became a scowl.

“What do you want, Gyu?” You mouthed from across the table, stubbornly taking a sip of your drink to avoid his gaze and knowing that you need to avoid him at all costs.

“Come get some air outside with me,” he’s pouting, and you can’t help but oblige. Even though you’re weak for him, you can’t ignore him since he is still technically one of your best friends.

You should have known that following him outside would have been a bad idea. The second Mingyu had you pressed up against the cool brick wall, whispering sweet nothings with his gentle tone should have had you running back inside the bar to your friends.

“Mingyu,” you pant out, his hot breath leaving a trail of goosebumps down your neck and his hands begin to gently roam your waist. “We can’t do this, I told you we can’t be anything more than friends.”

“You know that’s not true,” he breathes out after pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your jaw. “You can’t tell me you don’t want me as bad as I want you.”

He’s right, you can’t deny the way your hips keen into his, but you also can’t deny that your date is supposed to be picking you up from this bar any minute now. “Mingyu, I can’t, the person I’ve been seeing is on their way to come to get me, and you just have to respect my choices.”

Mingyu is like a kicked puppy, pulling away from you instantly with a look of betrayal, “You’re seriously seeing somebody else?”

“Yes, Gyu,” you sigh out, running a hand through your hair, not feeling prepared at all to have another conversation about lacking the commitment you need from him. “You know exactly why I’m seeing someone else.”

Those words stung Mingyu for the rest of the night. He did know why; he hated that he couldn’t give you what you wanted in the first place and hated that he couldn’t give you the sense of security that you needed. Mingyu didn’t understand why he couldn’t in the first place, he’d love to date you and would love to treat you the way you deserve. Nothing stung more than your words than watching you leave the bar after bidding everyone goodbye, giddy to be picked up by your date. Mingyu couldn’t help the way his hand lingered on your waist a little too long, and you yourself seemed a bit hesitant to leave Mingyu’s grasp as you left.

Mingyu absolutely disliked seeing you around with your new fling. He hated when you’d bring them with to game nights or when you’d simply post a story at a café with them.

He absolutely despised when he had to sit around you two, listening to your melodious giggles and watching you lean in to whisper in their ear. Mingyu just wished he could tell you to never bring them around again because seriously, in comparison to him, he could 100% treat you better and he’d prove it if he could now.

Mingyu would attempt to sneak you away, his charm always winning you over, and he was usually successful in his attempts. He didn’t care if he looked like a dick to your date, he only cared about having you alone and being the one who made you smile.

Sometimes things would feel like they were back to normal, and you two would end up shamelessly flirting, which was always in the background of your friendship even before you two started hooking up. He’d find himself leaning into you, and he could swear that you’d lean towards him too, your lips almost like magnets as you’re pulled towards one another.

However, that moment would be ruined when you’d be swept away by your date once again. All Mingyu could do was watch you disappear into the crowd, feeling like he’s lost all chances at ever truly having you.

Mingyu wasn’t sure what he was expecting when you showed up at his door late one night, storming right past him and welcoming yourself into his apartment before he could even question why you were there.

He couldn’t even get a word out, your hands had already grabbed the sides of his face and you wasted no time pulling him into a hungry kiss, full of passion and desire that you’d been suppressing for God knows how long.

No one fucked you the way Mingyu could. No one knew you the way Mingyu could. No one treated you the way Mingyu could.

Mingyu melted into you, arms wrapping greedily around you as if he never wanted to let you go ever again. In all honesty, he had started losing hope, truly starting to believe that you would stay true to your word of staying just friends.

However, tonight proved him none the wiser, you seemed desperate for him, pushing his tall frame that towered over you all the way to his bedroom. Frantically undressing yourself, Mingyu followed along and pulled off his own clothing as you stripped down to the bare minimum.

Mingyu released a sigh at seeing you in your full glory again, hands reaching out to caress your curves, but pouting when you shove his hands away.

“You’re going to take what I give you,” you command, pinning down his hands and straddling his thighs on his bed, “and you’re not going to complain once, or I’ll take my ass to someone else.”

Mingyu nods desperately, hips grinding up so that his erection can rub against your hot cunt. He almost lets out a whine, immediately noticing how wet you are already, and needing to feel the inside of you as soon as possible, or else he might burst. Tsking at him, you rise slightly as if to warn him, but you quickly drop back down on him, running his length through your folds and letting out a moan from the pleasure of having him this close to you again.

“God, Gyu,” you coo, holding his hands above his head and feeling dizzy at the way he bites down on his lip, your slick gliding against him as you grind down on his length, jumping slightly as the tip of his head brushes your clit. “You were right, I fucking love your cock, and I need it so bad.”

“You can have it, baby,” Mingyu groans, muscles tensing as you restrain him and needily grind against him. He could easily overpower you, but he loves when you lead like this. “Use me, make yourself cum on my cock.”

Your body shivers on top of him, and Mingyu can’t restrain himself from latching his lips on your pebbled nipples, basking in the way you writhe above him, and how your wetness makes you glide so easily over him.

You can’t wait any longer, one hand reaching down as another hand travels to his chest to balance yourself. You guide his length into your folds, your walls taking in his familiar length, even though he’s still too big to take in one go.

Mingyu lets you take your time, his hands tightly grip your hips, loving the way the plump flesh ripples from how harshly his fingers dig into your skin. Simultaneously, you both let out a moan when you take him in completely, the tip of his head nuzzled deep inside of you as your walls pulse around him.

He attempts to buck up into you, but you hold him down, reminding him what you said earlier, “you’ll take what I give you, Gyu.”

Mingyu obeys, even when you begin to tease him with your hands running up his chest, cheeky fingers pinching at his nipples, and your tongue leaving a hot trail up to his neck. You do all this while rolling your hips against him, letting your walls adjust to his size as you nip and kiss at his skin until your lips finally reattach to his.

Mingyu can no longer keep his hands to himself, taking fistfuls of your ass, squeezing the muscle, and guiding you as you ride him. As much as you’d like to stay in control, you love the slight twinge of pain from his tight grip on you, and the pleasure that comes along with the friction of his length moving in and out of your tight pussy.

The kiss is messy as you continue to ride him, his teeth biting at your bottom lip and moaning when he grazes that spot inside of you that only he can reach. “Fuck, only you can fuck me like this, love everything about you.”

It’s a slight confession that you’ll regret in hindsight, but you don’t miss the way he matches your movements as you ride him, starry eyes staring up at you as you begin to lean back. Mingyu is convinced he’s in love himself, but he couldn’t admit that just now. In the meantime, he soaks in the way you lean back, chest on display for him as you hold onto his knees and continue to ride him expertly.

He swears you’re beautiful just like this (even though you’re beautiful all the time, admittedly). He would have never imagined that his best friend could take him so well, fuck him so well, and make his stomach flutter and head rush like how you do.

Mingyu almost loses it when you pull his body up to yours, the push of your chest against his and the feeling of your skin making him impossibly harder inside of you. You use his shoulders as support, bouncing up and down on his cock and letting his lips work at your skin.

You can tell he’s close, from the bead of sweat that runs down his chest, from the way he throbs inside of you, and from the pathetic whiney moan that escapes his lips. His hands become desperate, palming at your skin wherever he can grab and make you moan. You continue to breathe out praises to him, letting him know that you couldn’t ever get enough of his cock, that it’s perfect for you, and that he’s such a good toy.

Mingyu cums inside of you from all the praise, unable to hold back the hot ropes that fill you as your walls clench impossibly tighter around him. Watching and hearing him lose himself so pathetically beneath you has you finishing with him, your body shaking with his as he fills you deep inside. You both shiver upon lifting from him, watching the cum drip from your folds as you hold yourself above him, Mingyu dropping a finger down to your core to collect himself and pump it back in between your swollen folds.

Mingyu doesn’t let you go that night, hands roaming your body and lips constantly reconnecting with yours until you both fall asleep in each other’s arms.

That next morning Mingyu was relieved to find you next to him. Mingyu couldn’t hide the smirk on his face when you rolled over to cuddle closer to him, knowing that you couldn’t ever hold out from him no matter what.

Seungcheol had kept a close eye on you two these past couple of months, knowing exactly when you and Mingyu had started hooking up, knowing exactly when things got weird (hence the dating), and exactly when you two were back at it. He was sick of you two skirting around everyone, eyeing you both suspiciously as Mingyu shyly flirted with you at the bar.

Seungcheol almost felt bad for the poor guy, knowing he just needed the push to ask you out for real, and knowing that Mingyu was helplessly head over heels for you. Mingyu was alarmed when Seungcheol firmly placed a hand on his shoulder, pulling him away from you for the first time that night.

Leaning toward Mingyu, Seungcheol whispered a warning in his ear, “I swear to god, if you don’t ask Y/N out by next weekend, I’ll beat your ass for making it weird for all of us here.”

Mingyu couldn’t stop the toothy smile that took over his features, sending a wink Seungcheol’s way, “believe me, I’m working on it. There will be no more ‘somebody else’ by next weekend.”

Making sure to stick to his word, Mingyu no longer let anybody else into your heart other than him.

#svthub #mingyu smut #kim mingyu smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seventeen hard thoughts #im down bad ok

2K notes · View notes

64yrsold · 8 months

Text

saccharine matty healy x reader

18+ oneshots from a sweet domestic life together. a bit of everything links are in the order i originally posted them ❤︎ (you can also find my favourites from this series here!)

inside your mind

the birthday party

nice sweater

i’m in love with you

medicine

tonight (i wish i was your boy)

sincerity is scary

mine

heart out

when we are together

milk

an encounter

me & you together song

about you

so far (it’s alright)

facedown (pt.1)

facedown (pt.2)

you

i couldn’t be more in love

happiness

chocolate

is there somebody who can watch you

girls

fallingforyou

all i need to hear

the 1975 (the 1975)

roadkill

love me

yeah i know

paris

streaming

she’s american

frail state of mind

the sound

be my mistake

settle down

menswear

sex

looking for somebody (to love)

a change of heart

she way out

if you're too shy (let me know)

it’s not living (if it’s not with you)

nothing revealed / everything denied

don't worry

human too

ugh

this must be my dream

m.o.n.e.y.

lostmyhead

oh caroline

undo

hnscc

somebody else

give yourself a try

intro / set3

pressure

then because she goes

anobrain

the city

please be naked

haunt // bed

if i believe you

the 1975 (notes)

shiny collarbone

antichrist

i like it when you sleep

by your side

playing on my mind

TOOTIME !

#matty healy #the 1975 #the 1975 fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty the 1975 #matty x reader #matty healy x reader #64matty #saccharine

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butyou-callmewhenyourebored · 6 months

Text

Reading & Leeds AU Imagine

Summary: You meet four teenage lads at Leeds Fest in 2007 who change your life forever.

Warnings: Swearing. Vulgar language. Small shite section of smut. One use of y/n near the end. I nearly used my own name but then you can just imagine your own x

Author's Note: Here is the Leeds Fest AU that I've been going on about since the idea popped into my head the morning after I went to Leeds nearly two months ago. I don't think it's very good, definitely not my best work but it's finished I don't have to think about it anymore! But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Now got to find motivation to finish my other WIPS that I've abandoned!

Word Count: 6.4K Words

You thought you knew what proud was; there were many moments in your life that you could recall where you felt immense proudness for the four men that made up your best friends. The day they rang you to tell you they had signed their record deal, the day their first EP was released, the day their debut album went to number one, when they sold out Madison Square Garden, the day they first played Reading and Leeds, the first time they headlined Reading and Leeds. The list was endless.

But there was something about the way you felt today that surpassed all of that. Here you were at the side of the main stage at Leeds Festival about to watch your boys headline the festival that started it all. The 1975 was ringing out across the field, the kids were screaming and your heart was hammering in your chest in time with George’s drums as he kicked off The City to the delight of the crowd.

A celebration of the album that they dreamed of making when you met them. A celebration of the album that soundtracked not only the lives of their fans but yours and theirs too. A celebration of the band and every beautiful thing they had achieved in the past ten years surrounded by those they loved and those who loved them the most.

You had told Matty that you were unsure you’d make it today due to a work situation that had popped up which had sent him into a tizzy this morning because you had never missed a performance of theirs at Leeds, despite being at Reading with them just the night before but you couldn’t cancel this important meeting in London called by your manager late last night when you returned from Reading and you weren’t sure if you’d make it in time to see them back up North.

“But you have to be there darling. This is our thing!”He had huffed, as you reached for him and pulling him into your arms as you went to say goodbye.“Leeds is ours! Not Reading. Leeds! You have to be there.” He huffed.

He made your heart hurt as his lip quivered as he watched you hug the other boys and the thought of him being upset made you even more determined to make sure you were side of that stage in time for the opening bars of The City.

You watched as he ran about the stage, singing his little heart out. The kids screaming the words to The City back at the band. George had already sent you a smirk from his seat behind the box knowing fine well Matty would lose his shit when he clocked eyes on you. You looked out towards the audience; the excitement on their faces as they sung every word before turning to look back at your boys. Your hand immediately reaching to touch your box tattoo that sat on your thumb (matching with your friend behind the drum kit) as your heart soared with happiness for them.

When you looked up you found Ross with his eyes on you. A soft smile on his handsome face, your eyes locked on to one another for a brief moment that was abruptly interrupted by the roar of applause from the fans when the first song came to an end.

Bringing your hands to your mouth you cheered as loudly as you could; your laugh a sound Matty would recognise anywhere had him snapping his head in your direction. The moment he clapped eyes on you; he was beaming! His eyes bright and his smile even brighter knowing his best friend had made it. Pointing at you with a cheeky grin, he pulled the mic to his mouth quickly so you could hear him.

“Fucking knew you’d make it darling! This one is for you!” He announced as the intro to M.O.N.E.Y (one of your favourites) started up to more roars of noise.

2007

Leeds Festival was directly sewn into the DNA of your friendship with the group of teenage boys who went on to be the band The 1975. Having being the place you had met all those many moons ago when headlining the festival was only a dream for them. Now they were about to headline the festival for the third time in four years and proud didn’t even cut it for how you felt for those boys.

You weren’t sure how your life would have turned out if you hadn’t met them the summer of 2007 or if you had simply set up your tent next to somebody else but you were forever grateful for your cousin and “friends" (at the time) for dragging you along because your life was enriched in every aspect because of them.

Trekking through the fields to find your camp sight was proving difficult when your cousin and his mates were pissing about and collectively had about two braincells between them. So you took it upon yourself to march ahead and find the nearest available space and dumping your tent and rucksack on the ground to reserve the spot.

“Oi dickheads! Over here!” You shouted towards the direction of your idiot cousin.

Waiting for him; his two mates and the girlfriends of said friends, who I guess you could call your friends too to make their way over. You took a look around at your neighbours for the next four days. Next to you was a group of teenage boys who were setting up their tents, the one setting up their little camping stove looked up at you at your outburst. God he was pretty you thought as you took in his casual appearance.

“You mind if we grab this spot?”

“Not at all love. Matty.” He held out his hand as he introduced himself.

Shaking his hand; you introduced yourself with a polite smile before shimmying your tent out of it’s bag as your cousin and his pals all appeared, dumped their stuff on the floor before announcing they were going to explore. Therefore leaving you to look after their shit and to attempt to put up your tent by yourself. After ten minutes, several failed attempts and numerous curses towards your absent cousin when the rest of your neighbours appeared.

The tall, dark and handsome one introduced himself first.

“Hi, I’m Ross. You need a hand with that?”

When you turned to look at him; he was wearing jeans and a hoodie and a soft smile on his face. Nodding at his offer, you explained about your useless cousin and that you didn’t have great hopes for the weekend given that he had already fucked off.

“Don’t worry you can chill with us. They’re pretty useless too but we get by!” He chuckled; nodding in the direction of his mates. “That’s Adam, but we call him Hann and that’s George.” He grinned as you waved at his equally cute mates.

It was as simple as that. You barely spoke to your cousin that weekend. Just let your friendly neighbours cart you around the festival, getting drunk with them and letting them hoist you up on their shoulders as you watched multiple acts that weekend. During your down time, you sat around the campfire and got to know one another. You found out they were from not far from you in Manchester, they were all around the same age, they were all single apart from Hann. And they found out that you really did hate your cousin’s mates and you were newly single after your boyfriend of two years cheated on you and that you were hoping to go to uni to study music.

Giddily telling you that they were all in a band together as you revealed this information; you listened to Matty ramble on about what he wanted to do with his best friends and where he wanted the band to go in terms of their career and you couldn’t help but watch him earnestly as he spoke so passionately about it. Leaning on your knees; you rested your face in the palm of your hands as you listened intently, wrapped up in the jumper Ross had leant you as the evening grew cold with a smile on your face.

It was refreshing to listen to a teenage boy talk with so much passion about something instead whatever shit your cousin and his mates were chatting shite about, you couldn’t even stand to converse with the girlfriends it was that bad. You think you’d have let him pull you around this muddy park and talk your ear off all night that’s how much you enjoyed his company.

The last night of the festival; off the back of the giddiness of watching the Red Hot Chilli Peppers with the boys and screaming your favourite lyrics back at the band from your spot upon George’s shoulders. You giddily jumped into Matty’s arms when you dismounted the drummer and let him slip his hand in yours as you all made your way back towards your campsite.

You lost the rest of the boys at some point within the masses of people; so you took your time making your way back, swinging your arms between one another and spinning each other round. You were so happy! You arrived three days ago in a bit of a mood if you were being honest that your brother hadn’t been able to come with you and you were stuck with those imbeciles but the boys in your neighbouring tents truly had made your entire experience worth it.

So when Matty pulled you to a stop as you neared your respective tents; George’s laugh could be heard from where you had stopped and swept a piece of fallen hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek in his hand with a soft mutter of, “You’re so fucking beautiful.” Before leaning down and closing the gap between the two of you. You melted into him.

When his lips connected with yours; you immediately reciprocated his actions, allowing him to pull you in close and kiss you like you were the air he needed to breath. You weren’t entirely sure how long you were kissing in the middle of the campsite though but you pulled away giggling, beaming brightly when you saw Matty grinning back at you. Feeling brave you pushed yourself up to peck his lips again before pulling him towards your destination, past all his friends who were hooted and hollered when they caught onto to where you guys were off to but you didn’t care because you wanted reckless, you wanted to feel something, you wanted fun.

And ohhhh was Matty fun!

He was gentle in the way he brushed your hair from your face as you kissed down his stomach before pulling his already hard cock out. His grip tight in holding your hair in a ponytail so it was away from your face as you kissed the tip before licking a stripe underneath all the way from his balls until you enveloped the tip in your mouth. Hollowing your cheeks you took him in as he groaned underneath you, his moans encouraging you to continue as you let him continuously hit the back of your throat.

It wasn’t long before his grip tightened in your hair and he was cumming in your mouth; swallowing everything he gave you, you pulled off his cock with a pop before he was attacking your mouth with his own as he dived on top of you.

“God going to be thinking about your mouth for years sweetheart.” He mumbled against your skin before returning the favour.

2013

It had been a good several years since your last visit to Leeds Festival but thankfully it hadn’t been that long since you last saw the boys you met in the neighbouring tent during your first time there. After you packed up your tents the next morning you vowed to stay in touch with them, exchanging numbers with all the boys and promises of drinks when you were both home etc not really expecting much of it because they were teenage boys.

A hour after you returned home, your phone buzzed as messages flooded your inbox from Matty and George, Ross & Adam respectively although they weren’t as persistent as Matthew. You met up with Matty the next weekend, he drove up to see you in Manchester and you made out in the back of his car like the horny teenagers you were. You never slept with Matty during your brief time together but you both got very acquainted with one another on the couple of occasions you did meet up alone.

It wasn’t long after that you decided you were better off as friends and you didn’t mix business with pleasure again! Much to Matty’s disappoint after all he was a man and they only think with their cocks anyway. You continued being friends, you went to their gigs (even when you were the only one there), they visited you at uni, they celebrated your first big writing gig, you celebrated the release of their EPs. You celebrated everything together no matter how big or small.

You truly were the best of friends so when they rang you one afternoon whilst you were in the studio writing, you couldn’t even get out a “Guys you’re on a speaker, I’m just in the studio” before they were all screaming down the phone about their news that they had been asked to play at Leeds.

“That’s fucking insane! I’m so proud of you. Congratulations!”

“You have to be there babe! We can’t do this without you!” Matty screamed down the phone.

“Yeah we can’t play Leeds without our number one girl can we?” Ross’ voice could be heard next, at a normal decibel, obviously.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Is what you told them and you stuck to your word as you watched Matty pace nervously before they were about to step onstage to a large crowd of people eager to see them perform.

“Matty.” You called out for him as he chewed his thumb nail, ignoring you. “Matthew!” You raised your voice loud enough to get his attention finally on you, “What’s wrong with you? You’ve been buzzing all week to finally perform at Leeds. What’s changed?”

“Nervous.”

Your heart stopped as you took your friend’s nervous appearance in as you stopped in front of him and grabbing both his hands in your own. “I’ve never known you to be nervous ever. These people are here to see you, they’ve chosen you over any other tent or stage. They want to see my four best friends because you’re fucking brilliant, okay?” You told him firmly, squeezing his hands supportively, hoping to get through to him.

“Okay.” He smiled softly at you.

“Now what can I do to help with these nerves of yours?”

You asked innocently (of course) but Matty’s eyes lit up; a smirk dancing across his pretty features before lowing his gaze to his crotch. Pulling your hands from his in disgust you looked at him disapprovingly. “Eww gross. I’m not blowing you!”

“Baby please.” He whined; nipping at your waist as he attempted to pull your body into his own and holding you against him.

Looking over your shoulder; you cast glance at the other boys who were watching the interaction. Hann rolled his eyes at you, Ross was shaking his head as he sunk back his beer. George merely smirked; shrugging his shoulders as if to say it wasn’t a bad idea.

“If it takes care of the nerves.” George spoke.

“Ohh I’ll blow all of you then shall I?” You sassed back.

“If you’re offering?” George grinned.

“G don’t be fucking gross. I’m not touching any of you!” You laughed shortly. “Just do some tequila and get out there before I leave before you get the chance to even pick up a pair of drumsticks!” You threatened.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stood side of stage and watched as the boys were belting out the tunes to an enthusiastically drunk crowd who were loving life. Ross turned to look at you during chocolate; a look of pure disbelief that the hundreds strong crowd knew every single word. You shook your head with a chuckle, teary eyes and a bright smile because you absolutely could believe they would know every single word because your boys were fucking brilliant and they deserved every single second of it.

As the set came to a close to a rapturous applause; Matty turned to catch your eye with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen before running towards you and jumping into your arms and gripping you so tight, you thought you’d be catapulted backwards if it wasn’t for Ross holding on to both of you. A high squeal leaving your lips as Matty assaulted your face with kisses like an excited puppy dog before pressing his lips to your own.

You were so proud of him you didn’t have it in you to scold him for it.

2019

The noise that came out of your mouth when the boys told you they had been asked to headline Leeds Fest 2019 can only be described as unhinged! Probably wishing they had told you over face time, Adam the unlucky sod who happened to be stood next to you the moment you found out and nearly had his arm ripped out the socket as you jumped up and down with pure excitement before pulling him into the biggest hug you could muster before jumping a top of George and pressing a lingering kiss to Ross’ cheek before you launched yourself at Matty and squeezing him so tight like it would be the last thing you ever did.

You partied hard that night, celebrating everything they had achieved in order to get to headlining that one place that you all held so dear to your hearts. They say people hold sentimental places that remind you of loved ones close to them, it just so happened that; that muddy field just outside of Leeds was what meant the most to the five of you because it’s where you found one another. It’s where you finally felt whole once they stumbled into your life.

So when Matty drunkly proclaimed “We’ve got to have you with us sweetheart! It’s tradition. You’re our good luck charm!” Loudly down your ear, whilst draping himself over your shoulder in an attempt to stay standing.

Not that you would say no but who were you to ever deny your best friend’s wishes. Especially when they were finally getting to do the one thing they told you they wanted to do together when you first met them all those years ago and the fact they wanted you by their side meant more than anything.

And here you were backstage at Leeds fest waiting for your best friends in the entire world to go and blow the socks off the festival. You were stood next to Matty who was fidgeting so much it was starting to concern you how nervous he actually was about the headlining slot. Slipping your spare hand into his; your other was wrapped around Ross’ as he conversed with Hann, you pulled away from the bassist so you could talk with the singer more privately.

Pulling Matty away from their crew; you took his hand softly, rubbing your thumb back and forth across the back of it in hopes of soothing his nerves. Matty didn’t say a word but he couldn’t stand still. You pulled on his hand tighter and towards you so you were in each other’s personal space.

“Darling what’s wrong?”

“Just fucking nervous. A lot of people out there.” His nervous chuckle reaching your ears before he started chewing on his thumb nail.

Slapping his hand away from his mouth, you pulled on both of his hands tightly and made sure that he was looking right at you as spoke.

“When has that ever stopped you going out their and being brilliant before, ehh? You have wanted this for so so long. For as long as I’ve known you. You deserve this so much babe, more than anyone else I know. Do you want to know a little secret?” You watched his curls bounce as he nodded at your words. “When I met you, you told me all about your plans for the band. Told me you were going to headline Leeds Fest one day and in that moment I knew that I liked the shit of you! Thought it was so hot that you were so driven and so passionate about something. And look at you now. Three number one albums. Biggest band in the world and about to do the one thing you told me you were going do when we met twelve years ago. All those people out there choose to come and see you because they love you. I love you.”

“You think I’m hot?”

“That’s what you took from that?” You rolled your eyes.

“It’s what I do best!” He shrugged; pulling you into his arms. “So you going to blow me after this too?” He whispered saying in your ear; as he hugged you tightly.

“You’re so fucking annoying!” You pulled out of his embrace, “You’d be fucking lucky Healy! I’m more likely to blow Hann than you again babe!” You threw him a smirk; so he knew you were joking about his best mate.

“Wait, who’s blowing Hann?” George asked; appearing with Ross and Hann with what could only be impeccable timing.

“Me! Told Healy I’m more likely to blow Hann after your performance than go near his cock again!” You told them casually with a shrug and throwing Adam a wink as the guitarist shook his head with an embarrassed chuckle. “Just a little pep talk and Matthew was being Matthew about the situation!”

“Well if you’re offering up blowies! I’m always down!” George threw his hand up like he was volunteering with a massive grin on his face as he nudged Adam in the ribs who also had a stupidly large grin on his face as they teased you.

“You’re all so fucking annoying which is why the only person I’d be considering to blow is Ross because currently he’s the only one with manners! Now fuck off and blow the socks off the fans!” You grinned; shoving them in the direction of the stage. Throwing your own arm around Ross’ waist, Matthew’s around your own as you all ascended on the stage, your heart pounding as you watched them walk out to rapturous applause. The feral screams growing louder between each song and you knew that you had never been prouder of anyone in your life than your best friend’s living their dreams.

2023

You had never loved George Daniel more than the day he turned round and introduced you to his new girlfriend because you gained a best for life in the absolutely wonderful and insanely beautiful Charli XCX. You loved her plain and simple! Never was a more selfless girl; you needed anything and she was by your side and offering you her hand, you needed a hype man she was the girl for the job or you just needed a little retail therapy and a bottle of wine, Charli would be at your door ready to go so when it was announced that she was going to be playing Leeds Festival just as the boys were about to embark on their new era. You knew you would be by her side cheering her on and going an absolute feral for that babe of woman! And when the boys were announced as the replacement headliners you could have burst!

Charli was set to perform her set just before the lads were so you knew your evening was going to be chaotic but you couldn’t wait but when she asked you to be by her side and during your favourite song. As flabbergasted as you were by the offer, you couldn’t really say no. When would you ever get the chance to perform at Leeds Festival again? Never!

But it was the way your best friends eyed you from side of stage; clad in an identical leather outfit to Charli’s that left nothing to the imagination. You felt a large calloused hand weave it’s way into your own and squeeze tightly, whispering a soft; “You’ve got this darling.” Before pressing a kiss to your temple just as Charli announced your entrance just as Rina’s verse of Beg For You was about to start.

“I want to introduce you to my best friend to the stage for the next song. She’s a bit shy so please be nice but she’s fucking incredible. Welcome to the stage y/n!”

What happened after you stepped on stage was all some sort of blur, you couldn’t really remember all that much apart from the video that Matty (and the rest of the band) recorded of you from the side of stage, the boys all screaming as you ran off stage and jumping into the nearest pair of arms, which just so happened to be Ross’. The adrenaline that coursed through you then seeped into watching the boys’ set and into the after party. Where you and Charli were necking back the tequila like it was water and had you dancing on the tables and grinding on anyone you could get your hands on.

Nobody was safe from you and Charli’s feral behaviour that evening as you celebrated your friend’s wins and that included your best friend who you had taken to making out with, pulling him into a several kisses that seemed to get more erotic as the night went on much to the shock and then immediate thrill of your friends as they squealed and cheered on your behaviour every single time like you weren’t potentially jeopardising fifteen years of friendship with Ross just because you were on a high and feeling a little giddy.

You were also a woman with eyes!

Something nobody was doing the morning after as you all travelled back to London with your tail between your legs and pounding headaches. Attempting to sleep it off on the drive home, you rested your head against Hann’s shoulder and tried to block out Matty’s talking, something that you were usually quite good at but to no avail when you felt like you were in about to slip into a tequila induced coma.

By the time you got back to London and to your respective locations; you felt yourself being nudged awake before being gently pulled away from Hann who sweetly pressed a kiss to the crown of your head as Ross got out of the van before pulling you sleepily into your apartment building. No words were exchanged between the two of you as he unlocked your shared apartment or whilst he made you both a cuppa. You couldn’t decide if it was because he was just as horrifically hungover as you or because of what transpired between the two of you the night before and didn’t know how to act around you now because you had well and truly fucked everything up.

You never spoke about it. Just carried on as normal just as you and Matty did fifteen years prior and you thought you had done a pretty good job at acting normal too. You carried on sharing your flat and cohabiting as if it didn’t happen and then he went off to America for the start of At Their Very Best. Then once you were reunited on his return home from tour you thought that everything would be fine but it seemed that your emotions or seemingly your hormones were supercharged and all the lingering touches and sweet exchanges that usually came with your relationship had all come to a head about two weeks before they were due to headline Leeds fest again.

Whilst the boys had been on tour and doing the festival circuit during the summer you had taken to dating again. You use the term dating very loosely you had been on a handful of dates with one guy, a producer friend of Charli’s. It had been a few weeks since you had seen him due to the busy nature of your careers but you were supposed to be heading on another date with him tomorrow and you were ready to take it to the next level.

Stood in front of your full length mirror you admired the intricate white lace of the lingerie that donned your tanned skin wondering if Patrick would like it or not when your bedroom door burst open. Not hearing his heavy footsteps approach as you stood in next to nothing; you jumped in fright, as an also topless Ross was now looking at you with a startled expression on his handsome face.

“Babe have you seen my favourite ju … jumper” He stuttered as he stopped and drunk in your appearance. “Ehhh why are you? Why ehhh? I mean why?” He was gesturing towards your lingerie clad body.

“I have a date tomorrow.” Your voice quiet but Ross heard it; your eyes just as wide as his when you took in his own appearance. Grey joggers, bare chest, hair tied up in a bun and the bastard cursive tattoo of your initial, that still makes your stomach flip every time you see it, etched into the skin near his left collarbone.

Ross simply nodded in response, not knowing what else to say. Noting that as his eyes travelled up your legs, over the tiny bit of delicate fabric that was covering your modesty, up to how your tits sat gloriously in the white lace, he noticed it. He noticed as you stood in the best set of lingerie he’d ever seen on anyone ever, that right there balancing in between your tits on a dainty gold chain was the necklace with a small ‘R’ on it.

Without another word said between the pair of you; he turned with a curt nod of his head without getting his answer knowing fine well that it would be somewhere in your room. But he had plenty of other jumpers he could wear. He just needed to just get out of there before he made a tit of himself. Heading straight back to his room across the hall, he paced his bedroom floor in hopes of getting the image of you stood in your underwear out of his head before he got a problem, not knowing that across the hall you were staring at his retreating figure unsure of what to do.

Picking up your phone you sent an apologetic text to Patrick to let him know the date was cancelled before chucking your phone amongst your pillows and marching across the hallway. Just as you reached up your arm to knock; Ross’ bedroom door was ripped off its hinges and stalling you, both of your chests heaving as you came face to face. Neither of you choosing to cover yourselves up in the moments you were apart.

Looking up at him; you caught sight of the gold chain he’d been wearing recently sitting against the chest hair that littered his toned chest before your eyes drifted to the left. Your heart tripling in speed knowing you were etched on his skin forever. Ross’s eyes immediately went back to your tits, not in a weird way even if they did look glorious in the white lace but the golden ‘R’ that sat between them.

Returning your gaze to his face; you weren’t entirely sure how long you were staring at each other before you surged towards one another in a flurry of pent up tension as you pawed at one another. Your hands immediately gripping at his hair at the nape of his neck, causing him to groan into your mouth. His hands gripping your ass as he pulls you flushed against him. Your mouths pressed together as you snogged like it was the last thing you guys would ever do before Ross was slamming his bedroom door and throwing you on the bed and staring at you like you were the best thing he had ever seen. And you were.

Your night of passion with Ross happened two weeks ago and whilst he had gone back to work leaving you at home and to do your own job. You hadn’t stopped thinking about it. It was affecting your studio time and you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself. You brushed past one another briefly whilst he nipped home to quickly put a wash on in between packing again before heading to Reading and Leeds. But you didn’t speak to one another in the van on the way down. Opting to talk with George about a new track idea he had been thinking about and he wanted your opinion on how to set it up lyrically.

When you got to Reading. The boys were rushed off for a quick sound check whilst you milled about backstage, getting drinks and greeting over artists you knew from work so you didn’t really get the chance to to talk to him. Then they were on stage. Then it was the after party. Then you were hungover and telling a sad looking Matty that you weren’t sure you could make it due to a work thing and sending them all on their way as you tried not to cry at the sadness in your best friend’s eyes as he looked at you like a sad puppy from the car window with pout on his face.

As you were sat in your meeting about an important contract working with an incredible artist on her next album. You caught yourself completely zoned out and thinking about him again. Over the course of all the the times you found yourself thinking about your night with Ross over the past week; you tried to figure out if it was because it was just because the tension had finally snapped with living under close quarters again after your multiple kisses or because it quite literally the best sex you’ve ever had or because under all of that, it was your Ross.

Your Ross. Your sweet best friend who helped you out any and every situation that you found yourself in, the person who hyped you up and celebrated your wins with you, the person who surprised you with your initial tattooed onto his skin because he just loved you so much he wanted you with him forever. Who then turned round and told you he never wanted you to feel pressured to do the same so gifted you the most beautiful gold necklace with his own on, you’ve never taken it off.

The person who when he come home from tour; buys you flowers as a welcome home surprise and displays them on your dining room table. The person who buys you little nicknacks when he’s abroad because it reminds him of you and thinks you’d love it. As you let your brain mull over this information whilst your manager went over the boring bits of the deal, you realised he was your person and you needed to get Leeds and you needed to get up North to him now. Pulling the ‘emergency’ card, you left your manger to to take any important notes and you darted out of the building, texting your driver to meet you out the front asap before you were speeding out of London and heading to the place that started it all.

You raced up North to get to the festival and just about managing to get there in one piece. Flinging your weekend bag in their green room; you went to run back out when something caught your eye, Ross’ hoodie from the last night. Pulling it over your head; a complete dress on you and covering your own outfit, you quickly untucked you necklace so it proudly displayed on top, you ran towards the main stage as you heard end of your song as George’s launched into to The City. You had just about made it; as you weaved in and out of the crowds of people to get to the side of stage at lightening speed.

Squeezing through the bodies of the crew who were littered backstage you fell into step with Jamie who was filming the boys. Their manager quickly wrapped you up in a side hug with a large grin and a happy “Glad you could make it!” Before turning his attention back to the band.

George was the first person to notice you, sending you a quick wink as you blew him a kiss with a beaming smile. Ross was the next person to spot you; his eyes softening as he took in your appearance before Matty was excitedly shouting you out.

“Fucking knew you’d make it darling! This one is for you!” He announced as the intro to M.O.N.E.Y started up to more roars of noise.

It might have been pure accidental that you ended up next to a rowdy group of teenage boys on that August weekend in 2007. But my god are you happy you did! Not because they were the biggest band in the world but because the five of you had seen every single one of your wins and your losses, they championed you on every new endeavour and had your back through thick and thin. You didn’t care about Matty writing songs about your blowjob skills because you were happily screaming the words back to him now. You cared that he was happy, that they all were and they knew they were fucking loved.

Which you finally realised you did. You fucking loved your best friend and as Ross turned to look at you whilst doing his little two step whilst Matty serenaded the crowd with I’m in Love with You, he really took in your appearance. Thigh high boots and his black hoodie he wore to Reading last night that covered you like a dress and the bastard golden R that was sitting over the top of the neck of the jumper, your hand pressed over the top as you made eye contact with him and beaming brightly at him, he felt his heart skip and triple in speed. He needed to tell you and he needed to tell you now.

So the second About You finished and he had said goodbye to the crowd. He was throwing his bass at Joel and was marching straight towards you, grabbing you by the jaw and smashing his mouth against your own. Melting into his touch you kissed the bassist back as the rest of friends joined you.

“I love you.” Ross breathed out in between kisses.

“Ohhh thank fuck because I really fucking love you too!” You told him; pulling him back to your lips as you gripped on to hair at the bottom of his bun tightly as your boys hollered around you.

#the 1975 imagine #the 1975 fic #matty healy imagine #matty healy fic #matty healy x reader #matty healy #ross macdonald imagine #ross macdonald fic #ross macdonald x reader #ross macdonald #george daniel #george daniel fic #george daniel x reader #adam hann imagine #adam hann fic #adam hann x reader #adam hann #the 1975 x reader

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sarahs-secrets2 · 1 year

Text

She's got a boyfriend anyway... (Phillip Graves x Reader) 18+ ࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

Hiii this is my first ever fic/drabble on Tumblr! Once upon a time, I wrote a social media tom holland fic on Wattpad (its so bad I swear), but the Phillip Graves brain rot is so strong (you've prob seen me in a TikTok comment section thirsting), and this idea I've had has been consuming me so I decided to finally write it! Any feedback is appreciated <3

Loosely based on t1975 song Sex!

gn! with mentions of a boyfriend throughout story (no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: swearing, SEXUAL TENSION, cheating, light nsfw, pet names

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

“Yeah it's been alright here so far, ready to go home though,” you spoke into the phone with your back leaned up on the dresser in your room at the Shadow’s base which was basically in the middle of nowhere, you couldn’t remember the name and the jet lag wasn't helping.

As the voice on the phone droned on, you instinctively started to pace around the room, now reaching for a frame of you and your boyfriend, who happened to be the voice that just sounded muffled to you now as you examined the picture like it was the first time you had seen it. The photo was taken about a year ago, it was a cute selfie from some date after dinner, a half-assed smile snuck onto your face as you recalled the memory. The framed photo was a going away gift from your boyfriend as you were whisked away on another secret Shadow’s mission.

“You still there?”, his voice cut through your thoughts, setting down the photo and leaning back onto the dresser resuming your previous position. “Yup, just tired as hell,” you felt bad for not being able to uphold a conversation but it was hard being in different time zones, he couldn't blame you for that, could he?

Trying to bring your focus back onto the conversation, a knock on the half-cracked door made you jump as you peered over to see who it was.

Phillip Graves, your commander.

The Shadow Company, after being with them for 4 years, at that point had become your second family. Working your way up through the ranks you slowly became Graves' second in command. Between the two of you, there were always some unspoken feelings, but they needed to stay that way. You had a boyfriend, a boyfriend of 3 years, a boyfriend who you loved. At least that's what Graves had to tell himself so he wouldn't continue to obsess over the idea of being with you, in really any capacity. You had always inadvertently flirted with Phillip, it was just your nature, and he was easy on the eyes. “Me or him”, Phillip always asked, part jokingly, part serious, which he would never admit. He didn't have to specify you knew what he meant. “I can’t answer that Graves and you know it,”. It’s what you said every time.

Graves waved at you from the doorway, he had taken the pleasure of swinging the once-cracked door, all the way open. He had a tendency for ignoring signs of privacy. Still, on the phone you lifted your index finger up, signaling for him to wait, you were about done with your boyfriend anyways.

“Yeah, love you too, talk soon”, clicking the phone off, and standing up off the dresser you walked over to greet the commander now in your room. You hated that you were looking forward to talking to Graves more than your boyfriend.

“Was that the old ball and chain?”Graves knew how to piss you off. “Seems you're jealous you don’t have someone to have phone sex with, Commander” winking back at him, you were in a mood tonight. Graves' face winced like he had been injured, playing into your quip. “Sweetheart, I don’t need phone sex, I can get some here whenever I want,” taking steps towards you, instinctively you walked backward trying to avoid him getting closer. The way he spoke with his southern drawl made your face hot if you could stop it you would. You weren't supposed to feel like this towards another man.

“How is he?”

You knew Graves didn't care, he wanted you to think he cared. “He’s fine, all the same back home”.

“You miss him?”

This one took you by surprise, because honestly you didn't, and you were a shit girlfriend for it, maybe it was the job that distracted you, maybe the lack of sleep, or maybe the handsome commander standing in front of you that made you forget about your “old ball and chain” back home.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder darling, at least that's what mama always tol’ me”, you had noticed his accent got stronger when talking about home, something about a southern boy and his mom. The disapproving look you gave Phillip hinted he probably shouldn't push, some internal battle he shouldn't prod at.

“What made you come in here in the first place, Graves? Just to see how my boyfriend is, I know how fond of him you are”, Graves scoffed, “I don't even remember anymore,” his hands went up in defeat, “I’ll see you tomorrow yeah”, a soft smile crept along his face and he started to turn out of your room.

“Wait, Phillip!” trying to grab his attention before he disappeared down the barrack hallways, “Do you have a spare shirt, the rookies messed up laundry so I haven't been able to do anything yet and I need something to sleep in ''. This shouldn't have been an awkward question, you both were comfortable enough with sharing clothes and it wasn't new for either of you to help out the other. This time felt wrong though, you felt shy and almost dirty asking your commander for a shirt to sleep in, was it too intimate?

“Follow me, you can pick out your favorite”, he held your door open signaling you to lead the way to his room. The air felt different, something was different between the two of you, you just couldn't put your finger on it. By the time you reached his room, a pit formed in your stomach, playing it off as you leaned next to the door waiting for Phillip to unlock it.

“Top drawer on the right, pick a comfy one”, Graves relished in the idea of you wearing his shirt. He felt like he had won this unspoken battle between him and your boyfriend, he didn't bother to ever learn his name, it wasn't important.

Rifling through the drawers you found a worn gray cotton polo undershirt, holding it up in the mirror, it looked perfectly oversized. “I think I found a winner,” you turned to face him still holding it up, “What do you think?”

“I think you took my favorite one”, Graves' hands went to his heart like he was in pain, a fake frown painted his face, making you laugh. “Go ahead and try it on sweetheart, make sure it fits the way you like before you head back,”

“No peeking Graves” you walked towards the bed with your back to Phillip, stripping off your previous top, and slipping the new gray one on. Turning to face Graves, who was now leaning on top of his desk in the corner of the room.

“C’mere, let me see how it looks' ', you could feel his eyes on you as you walked towards him, immediately feeling shy, you shouldn't be feeling like this.

You have a boyfriend at home

Maybe if you kept telling yourself this, the butterflies in your stomach from Phillip would go away.

His hand outstretched to you as you reached him, still leaning on the desk, he raised your hand above your head, “Let's see it, darling,” as he slowly spun you around to take in a full view. You could feel your heart rate rising, something was different tonight, the causal flirting all of a sudden held so much more weight between the two of you. “Looks better on you than me, I’ll tell you that”, Phillip was chuckling to himself as he took both of your hands in his, pulling you in between his legs.

“What are we doing here Phillip?”

“Whatever you want to do '', he said it so matter of fact it almost made you sick, was this cheating? You felt dizzy, bringing your hands to your commander's shoulders to balance yourself, his hands went to your waist as he pulled you closer.

Your hands slowly made their way up to his face, almost as if they had a mind of their own. Graves could feel your internal battle as you took in every detail on his face, a finger tracing his scar while he watched you.

“Look we don't-”, you didn’t give him a chance to finish the sentence as you pulled him into you, pressing your lips to his. Both of you acting like it was your last kiss on Earth, feverishly pulling at each other for more. Graves stood up from his previous leaning on the desk, still connected to your lips, directing you towards the bed.

Fisting at Graves' shirt as you pulled his top off, and slipped the one you had borrowed a mere minutes ago off as well to match his current clothing situation. He towered over you in the bed, connecting to your neck, which was definitely going to leave a mark in the morning. Your hands found their way to Phillip’s hair as he continued to mark you as his, even though you weren't.

The guilt set in as you realized what was happening. You were a cheater, it made your stomach hurt thinking about it. Phillip sensed a shift.

“What's wrong, doll?”

“I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be doing this' ', you said barely above a whisper, sitting up and looking around to make sure this wasn't a dream. “Hey, hey, it's alright, we don't have to do anything,” Phillip gave you a sincere smile, it only made you feel better for a second.

The worst part was you wanted him, but couldn't.

“You got a boyfriend anyway… I shouldn't have pushed it '', Graves was now sitting off the edge of the bed, putting his discarded shirt back on. “Don’t blame yourself, I wanted it just as bad”, punching his shoulder lightly hoping to lighten the mood. A small smile was thrown your way in return.

Graves stood up from the bed, bending down to grab the borrowed shirt and tossed it over to you. “Fix that boyfriend problem, and maybe our guilty consciousness won't stop us next time, how about that?”, he was leaving the door open for you, he was willing to wait. “Yeah I should probably end it, I feel like shit”, the borrowed shirt now back on as you sat on the edge of the bed where Phillip once was.

“Can I stay here tonight, I don't want to be alone,” glancing up at him, hoping he would say yes, it would be too embarrassing if he said no, especially at this point. “Of course sweetheart, whatever you want to do”, his hand snaked around the back of your head and pulled you towards him, placing a small kiss on the top of your forehead. “I'll go get you an extra blanket,”

Graves came back motioning you to lie down as he covered you in the blanket he had found and then slipped into the bed next to you. “Thank you, Phillip, I really appreciate it,” you were now facing him in the bed. His hand moved to brush some hair out of your face, “Anytime, get some rest I take it you got some things to take care of tomorrow”.

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

Part 2!

Thank you for reading! There's def room for a part 2 if anyone wants it!

#phillip graves x reader #philip graves x reader #warren kole #phillip graves #graves x reader #cod modern warfare #cod mw2 #Spotify

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hyuckmov · 2 years

Text

haechan — fallingforyou

bestfriend!haechan x reader, (feat. best friend mark, mentions of yeri) 5k, unrequited love angst for the most part, a bit of fluff, a happy ending this time, christmas and new years eve season vibes a/n: this is loosely based on 'fallingforyou' by the 1975 because...'i don't wanna be your friend/i wanna kiss your neck' but also hopefully its a little more than that...this goes out to all of you who've been in love with your best friend :) i'm scared there's more mark than haechan in this LOL also for someone who doesn't write long prose 5k is a little amazing for me </3 lmk if you like it thru my asks!

1 dec

you were only having this conversation with mark because haechan couldn’t make it for movie night.

movie nights without haechan were a quiet affair. with no one clamoring over which movie to put on and insisting on playing a series of games to decide, with no arguments over snacks or blankets or which lights to turn off, you and mark sat down and easily picked a movie from the watch-list. things were peaceful. until mark decided to bring up a topic you had sincerely hoped he wouldn’t.

“hey, i have to ask…” he sat up from where he was slumped on the couch. not paying him much attention, you nodded so he knew you were listening. “have you really never had feelings for haechan?”

turning over to look at him, you groaned. “mark we’ve been through this…”

he slid off the couch and joined you on the floor, pressing pause on the movie so there was silence instead. “give me your honest answer.”

you truly, genuinely, hated whenever he brought this up. you hated whenever anyone would ask whether you and haechan were dating, or if he had a crush on you, or any other variation of how are you only friends? truthfully, you hate it because whenever someone asks, you imagine it for a split second: it puts feelings and images in your head that are difficult to forget, and before you know it you can’t act normal around your best friend for about the next two weeks.

but then you embarrass yourself: you linger too long on his hands over the popcorn, you stare a little too much when he’s across the table during dinner, and haechan notices. he laughs in your face, and that makes you drop any other feelings you have settling in your stomach. business as usual. lather rinse repeat.

mark is still looking at you, his wide eyes telling you he really wants to talk it out this time. mark is a big believer in having all your feelings out, and in ‘open communication’. you’re surprised that it’s been 4 months since he brought up the issue.

“mark, just tell me what you want to say.”

“okay.” he pauses, and you can see him lay out his line of reasoning in his head. “what would you do if haechan told you he had a big project due and he was stuck at the library working on it?”

“i would go over there and help him.” you say, without thinking much about it. “i did that, actually. literally last week.”

“okay, cool, you’re a good friend.” mark takes a breath, “what would you do if haechan told you, that right now at this very moment, he really wanted to eat ramen.”

you raised your eyebrows because that wasn’t out of character for haechan at all. “go over there with ramen in a pot.”

mark nods, but he’s just warming up. “it’s midnight right now, in case you were wondering. it’s also raining outside, but i’ll move on. how many times have you helped haechan just over this past week?”

you’re beginning to catch on to what he’s implying. “we’re friends. that’s what good, loyal, friends do. we help each other out!”

“i’m not finished.”

“well, hurry up with your point and less with the hypotheticals.” you turn back to the tv, and you are about to press play on the movie when mark asks-

“do you say i love you to each other?”

your reply of ‘yes” sticks in your throat. yes you do. frequently. but its a throwaway comment, its how you end phonecalls, its what you say before you step out of the door. neither of you mean it. do you? “we don’t mean it.” you settle on your answer.

“he might not mean it.” mark sighs. “think about it y/n. you’ve blown off dates with people who were interested in you just because haechan wanted to hang out. you’re with him almost every second of every day. you would drop everything just to do something he asked. you don’t do that for me, that’s for certain.” you open your mouth to protest, and he quickly adds “not that i mind. i know we’re good friends. i’m just saying.”

“what are you saying?”

mark takes a deep breath. “you treat haechan like your boyfriend.”

the words settle in your brain for a second. you want to say you don’t, but you think a little deeper. if you and haechan were in a relationship, what would you do differently? where would things change? we would be kissing you think. then, fuck. why am i thinking about kissing haechan? then, if this is love, then yes i’m in love with him.

but mark hasn’t finished his thought. “you think of haechan as your boyfriend, you act like you’re his girlfriend, and i’m only bringing this up today because…”

“he doesn’t.” your eyes meet mark’s, and in that second, the both of you understand each other far better than can be put into words.

10 dec

you really hate that mark brought it up. and this time, it feels a bit different than before, because mark has really made some points. do you act like you’re his girlfriend? should you stop? should you scale back? it would be horrible if you just wasted all this apparent girlfriend-isms on your best friend.

“is something wrong today?” you’re having your weekly lunches with haechan at the cafe near the library, and he’s sitting across from you, and everything is normal: you’re at your regular seat, with your regular choice of lunch in front of you, and haechan is telling you about some way mark messed up the microwave last night. but also everything isn’t normal, because you’re back in the depths of pondering your relationship with haechan, and suddenly you’re wondering if this could be a date in some other universe.

“nothing’s wrong.” you poke at your food. “so are you getting a new microwave?”

“y/n i’m serious. did something happen? you’re being really…” he squints his eyes as he examines you closely, and somehow this makes your cheeks feel warm. you can’t look at him in the eyes. “you’re just…you keep not looking at me. why aren’t you looking at me? do you know something?”

“know what?” suddenly, you’re attentive: know something? your mind is going wild with all the possibilities, because it’s beginning to sound like…

does he like you and he’s afraid you found out?

“nothing” he says, far too quickly, and it makes your heart beat a little faster.

“what are you keeping from me?” now you’re on the offensive, and you watch haechan duck his head to avoid your gaze.

“i’ll tell you when i’m ready”, he mumbles and checks his phone for the time. “fuck. i have to go for class now.”

“okay!” you’re a little breathless from all the thinking. an awkward kind of silence fills the space as he puts things into his bag, determinedly not looking in your direction. impulsively, you add, “you can tell me anything, you know that right?”

“i know that. i guess i’m just…” he shoulders one of the straps on his backpack, and pauses to look at you. “i’m just scared of what might happen.”

you’re hoping against hope. maybe this time things will be different. “i’ll wait. things will be okay, i’m sure of it.”

“okay.” he smiles and stands up to go. and before you can lose your nerve, you say, as quickly and hopefully easily as you can:

“loveyoubye!”

he turns and his face breaks out into a wide smile. “bye y/n. love you. see you later.”

maybe you do act like he’s yours. but maybe mark was wrong, because sometimes you think he acts like you’re his too.

17 dec

it’s been a week, and whatever it was, you’re wondering if that moment in a cafe was completely hallucinated.

haechan doesn’t bring up whatever he was keeping from you. you don’t want to push him, because good things take time, don’t they? you ask mark if he has any idea what it’s about, but apart from telling you not to get your hopes up, he doesn’t have a clue either. you think you could maybe go on living like this: delusional over the fact that your best friend might like you. ready at any moment to return the feelings but ready at any moment to also pretend like nothing ever happened.

except maybe you couldn’t, because this whole situation has made the i love yous ever more painful.

after the next movie night, when you’re about to head to your own flat, you stand around, putting on your shoes and taking them off again while haechan busies himself in his kitchen. mark had already left, leaving you one last skeptical look before he headed out. you want to tell haechan you love him, just to hear him say it back — but every time gets a bit harder because it means something a little realer. “haechan!”

“yeah?” he walks out, still holding a plate. “get home safe y/n. text me when you get back.”

“okay, goodnight.” you walk out of the door, and as casually as you can: “love you.”

“mmhm. love you too.” haechan’s already gone when you turn back.

as the days turn colder, december seeping into christmas in all its stories of love in the winter and warm fireplaces, it becomes a mini game for you: how many times could you get haechan to say he loved you, just to hear it? ending each phone call with love yous, that you just manage not to stumble over. facetiming at night, and waiting to say it but not getting a chance to as he falls asleep. in the library before haechan’s class, you take too long deciding how you should say it: i love you, or just love you! bye, love you! or love you bye! and haechan has already left, with a wave.

you say it to his face once: as he’s adjusting the hood on your sweater for you before you leave the restaurant, and his face is so close to yours that you can count his eyelashes. and its so endearing, how his eyes crinkle into a smile, his hands brushing the hair out of your eyes, as he says it back.

each time he does say it, you let it warm you from the inside out. you let yourself imagine that he means it, and it’s enough for you, just for now.

20 dec

so your guard is truly down when he shows up to dinner at your apartment. you made kimchi jjigae, haechan’s favorite, and mark had come over too. the plates were cleared, but all of you lingered around the dining table for a while, talking quietly about little things, enjoying the warmth of the living room even as it gets colder and colder outside.

haechan is a little tipsy from the soju mark brought over. his cheeks are dusted with red, and he’s becoming increasingly touchy: his hands playing with your fingers and his head gently tilted to rest against yours. you like it a little too much, and you could get used to it. you wonder if he’ll tell you he loves you today.

“mark. y/n.” he swallows. “i asked yeri out today.”

and just like that, the delusion from the past month, the confidence you’ve gained from knowing your feelings and imagining that maybe he returned them, all your i love yous and all of his, begin to feel like a cruel joke.

mark is looking at you. carefully, he says, “that’s great haechan. i didn’t know you liked her.”

haechan smiles: you can feel it against your shoulder. “me neither.” still playing with your fingers, “i think one day, i was sitting next to her in class, and i realised.”

you think you’ve stopped breathing. normally, your silence would have been suspicious, and he should have noticed: should have turned to you, squinting, trying to figure out your opinion. but clearly you’re the last thing on his mind. “that’s so sweet. what did she say?” you try to sound excited, and you push him off of you like you can’t wait to hear the rest of the story, but really you just want to be away.

“she said yes.” haechan laughs a little at that, and he’s so happy. “we’re going to the christmas party together. and the new years eve party.”

mark laughs too, but his eyes never leave your face. “will you she be your new year’s kiss?”

haechan’s eyes widen. “dude i didn’t even think about that. sure.” he leans back, and looks up at the ceiling and you know he’s thinking about her. you’re not thinking of anything.

later, as you’re both cleaning up the kitchen, haechan stops you gently with a hand on your wrist. he seems to have sobered a little, because the cloudy look in his eyes are gone. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you. i was really scared i would make a big deal out of it if i told you and mark, only to get rejected.” he smiles a little.

you nod a little, not sure how to respond. but then he looks at you with his eyebrows furrowed, and he takes your hands in his. “are you mad at me? i’m really sorry. i promise i’ll never keep anything from you again. i love you, and y-you’re my best friend.”

and instantly, you want to hold on to him so badly that you don’t want to do anything that might drive him away.

“i’m not mad at you.” and because you’re just a little selfish, you pull him in for a hug. just one last one, before everything changes. “i’m really really happy for you haechan.” and just because you’re such a good friend, the one who puts him before you always, you add as you pull away: “we should probably stop saying i love you. yeri might get the wrong idea.”

he laughs a little. “you’re right. thanks y/n.”

it’s a mark of how good a friend mark is that he walks haechan to the crosswalk before saying he left something at your place, and doubles back.

when you swing open the door, the first thing he says is “i’m so sorry, i swear i didn’t know anything. it just happened.” and it’s that which makes it real, and makes you start to cry. he spends the rest of the night patting at your hair as you mess up his hoodie with your tears, his “i knows” punctuating your incoherent rants about how it should be you. because it should be you, but also there’s no reason for it to be, at all. and there’s nothing you can do.

25 dec

mark solemnly promises he will watch over you for the whole christmas party. “just in case you get drunk and try to ruin yourself, or them.” he says. you tell him you don’t need someone watching you, and tell him to enjoy his christmas night, but he waves you off and slings an arm around your shoulder, for which you are grateful. it’s mostly been you and him this past week, haechan often busy with a date or another activity, and you’re a little grateful for that because seeing him in the flesh makes it hurt far more than all the hypothesizing you do in your head.

it’s only 2 hours into the party, more people trickling in by the hour, and already he’s started a game with you where you point out possible people for you to go out with. both he and you know you would never make a move, as evidenced from what happened between you and the person we are pretending is not holding hands with his maybe girlfriend right now. but it’s fun to hypothesise.

“he looks nice.” mark points at a boy you recognise as jaemin, who’s inspecting the back of your television.

“maybe.” you tilt your head, thinking about it. “he has a nice smile. oh and he helped me with calculus the other day — that was really nice of him.”

“so you know him!” mark beams at you. “you should ask him what he’s doing with your tv.”

“ask who what?” and the little bubble you’ve been sitting with mark in for the night is suddenly gone, because haechan has wandered over to the two of you, yeri following behind and smiling widely. he’s wearing a red striped sweater, the one that you picked out for him, and it looks so good that you curse a little internally.

“y/n was thinking of asking jaemin out.” mark says, swiftly. his arm tightens around your shoulder, encouraging you to stay calm.

haechan looks taken aback. “you’ve never mentioned jaemin to me.”

“i don’t have to tell you everything. you certainly don’t.” it’s a little mean, and not at all how you would speak with him usually but the way his fingers are interlaced with yeri’s is making you feel jumpy and annoyed. mark is giving you wide eyes, but he tries to pass it off with a laugh.

“sorry. she’s just mean because she’s drunk.” you haven’t had a sip of alcohol the entire night, but you play along, and try to avoid haechan’s eyes.

“sorry.” you mumble. haechan is still looking at you suspiciously, but yeri presses herself into his side and his expression clears.

“yeri wanted to say thank you for hosting the party.” he smiles at her, like there’s something the two of them share. you think you’re going to be sick, but mark has been answering for you far too much.

“thank you for coming. hope you had fun!” you smile as graciously as you can, but you tug on mark’s jacket with your other hand. “sorry, excuse us, we want to go say hi to jaemin for a bit.”

mark helps you hop off the kitchen counter, steadying you with an arm as you look around the room for ‘jaemin’. the entire time, haechan watches, not sure why he can’t stop noticing how the two of you are acting, and how this is the first time he’s really seen the two of you so close. he wonders when you’ve ever been this comfortable linking arms with mark, or putting your head on his shoulder, and why hadn’t he noticed before?

“wait-” he blurts out. you look at him questioningly. “be careful.”

irritated at him, for making you talk to him and look at him like this, you respond “what?” a little too aggressively. you really can’t control it today.

“with jaemin.” if you were still delusional, which you are trying very hard not to be, you would almost say it was as if he was making up what to say as he was saying it. “i heard he’s really rude. and not nice to date. at all.”

you raise your eyebrows, because you know that anyone who’s met jaemin would never say that about him. “sure haechan. merry christmas.”

and just like that, you leave him and yeri in the kitchen, mark guiding you through the crowd easily. jaemin is nowhere to be seen, so the both of you go to your bedroom, where you spend the rest of the night, mark valiantly trying to cheer you up by playing christmas songs for you on the guitar.

and if haechan slipped away from the party to stand outside your bedroom, listening to you laughing and requesting mark do the high note from all i want for christmas is you again, you were none the wiser.

but all you did know, was that when you and mark came out of the bedroom to kick everyone out of your apartment, haechan and yeri were kissing under the mistletoe, his hands wrapped around her waist, and her hands cupping his cheeks. you cheer loudly along with everyone else, and give him an aggressive thumbs up when he looks over at you and mark. you’re beginning to think you want to spend new years eve alone.

31 dec

you were only having this conversation with haechan because the both of you were stuck, in your car, on the way to a new years eve party you swore you didn’t want to go to, because mark couldn’t make it.

over the phone, he was really sorry. “i had no idea, but i have a family dinner tonight that i can’t get out of it. i’m really sorry y/n. don’t go to the party if you don’t want to.”

“of course i don’t want to.” spending new year’s eve alone was bad, but it would be worse if you had to watch yeri and haechan kiss to seal their love forevermore as the clock struck midnight. “i’ll watch a good movie, and go to sleep. i might not even stay up for it. it’s just another night.”

but that didn’t happen. haechan showed up at your door, breathless and panicked. his car broke down, and he had to go to the new years eve party to meet yeri, so could he please please please borrow your car? and could you please please please come with him, because he didn’t want to drive over alone? as you handed him your keys, seated in the passenger’s seat, in last year’s new year’s eve dress and mark’s huge hoodie over it, the words “you would drop everything just to do something he asked” rang in your head.

would you go to a new years eve party if he asked, one that you weren’t planning on going to, in the middle of the night, even if you knew it would likely bring you immense pain? yes apparently, you would. apparently, you still treated him like your boyfriend when he was about to be someone else’s.

haechan keeps looking over at you. how do you look so pretty, in the middle of the night, just getting ready for bed? and why are you wearing mark’s hoodie? “i’m really sorry for making you go out like this.”

you wave him off. “it’s fine.” softer, “you know i’d do anything for you.”

cars moved slowly around you, and their tail lights shone in a bright red lane all the way down busy highway. very soon, the car was barely moving. the two of you sitting there, stuck, as the clock on the dashboard blinked 11:40. running his hands on the top of the steering wheel, haechan spoke up first. “when did you get so close to mark?”

“huh?” you’re genuinely confused. “why would you say that.”

“you’ve just been a lot closer with him recently.”

“we’ve always been friends.” you don’t want to say anything too cutting, anything that would make the silence in the car too heavy, but there is no other way to put it. “you’ve been busy.” with yeri hangs unspoken in the air — but its true. and you don’t even blame them. if haechan was your boyfriend, you would want to spend every second of the christmas season with him. “mark has just…been there.”

haechan doesn’t reply to that. the car inches slowly forward. the song that plays from your phone is slow and deep, and when you look at the lights on his face, his eyes unfocused on the road you realise you just want to reach across the seat and wrap your arms around him.

you think of skipping the song or switching to a christmas radio station, but you can’t bring yourself to ruin it.

“y/n i.” haechan finally takes a deep breath. “i don’t know if its selfish of me, but i just feel like i’ve been losing you and i don’t know how to be back in your life in the way that we were.”

the way we were. “haechan, i don’t think the way we were…was very good for us.”

“what do you mean?” haechan turns, and looks at you. halfheartedly, you point to the road ahead, but the cars aren’t moving, and his eyes are focused on you.

“have you ever really thought about what we were to each other?” you blame the lights. you blame the song. and you blame the fact that the clock reads 11:49, and you just want to be honest, maybe just for once in this cursed holiday season. “haechan, my life revolved around you. you were everything to me. and all i needed at the end of the day was just, you smiling at me, or you telling me you…” you can’t finish the sentence. you won’t.

his heart snags on the were. the was. “i didn’t realize.”

“well it did. and now you’re unhappy because i’m not just waiting for you to reply to my messages, or pick up my calls, because i’m spending time with mark now.” you are picking the entirely wrong fight. the whole argument is wrong, and you know it, but you look stubbornly out at the window. this confrontation was not going to turn into a confession, not when you were both on the way to literally help him kiss someone else.

“i’m not unhappy.” haechan says, slowly. “i just…” the car behind you honks, and he hurriedly moves the car forward, but soon stops again. traffic on new years eve was impossible. “i lied that day.” you look over at him, unsure what he was talking about. “i didn’t ask yeri out. she asked me out.”

you take a moment to process this, but it doesn’t really change anything. “okay.”

“and, i guess i never really thought about her that way before. but she just asked, and suddenly i realised that maybe i did like her. it’s weird, it kind of felt like after she asked me out all of our casual conversations in class just took on a different meaning. i’d never even really thought about her that way before, and suddenly it made sense.”

why was he telling you this ?! you think love truly brings out the worst in people, because you wanted to jump out of the car instantly. you had to be happy for him, and there was no mark to act as a buffer. you’re about to say something, when he continues on.

“i told you and mark that night because i waited for you to ask me why i really liked her. or really just, i don’t know, help me figure out exactly how i felt about her.” he ran his hand through his hair. “but i guess you just didn’t say anything and i just kind of went with it.”

“well…” you try to disengage yourself from the situation. it sounded like haechan really valued your opinion, as a friend, and you hadn’t been there for him. “sorry. i guess it just took us by surprise.” you cringe as you realise that by speaking on mark’s behalf, it really did seem as if you were leaving haechan out. “took me by surprise, i mean. well, do you like her?”

he laughs a little at that. “it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it?”

“it’s never too late to rethink how you feel about someone.” you say, quietly.

haechan looks over at you, and it’s his gaze: as if he’s looking for the answer in your eyes, that makes you look away. you glance at the clock, and suddenly you freeze. 11:58. you scramble to put on the radio. “fuck, haechan we’re not gonna make it.”

“y/n-”

“you should call yeri and tell her you’re going to be late. she’ll be really mad if you don’t show up. she must be really worried-”

“y/n, please listen to me.” he takes both hands off the wheel, reaches out and holds your face in his hands. the radio announcer has just flickered on: the countdown has started. “i’m just going to say it. that day in the cafe: i was afraid you knew something. actually, i was afraid you realized that i liked you. every day, i would wait for you to say i love you, because i wanted to have a reason to say it, even if it was to say it back. i thought about how much you cared about me and i thought if i thought about you less, if i payed attention to other people, if i let more people into my life, it would be easier just being your friend."

‘5!’

“but it’s not.”

‘4!’

“it didn’t get easier, and i just miss you-”

‘3!’

“-every day because i think-”

‘2!’

“i really think that…”

‘1!’

and he doesn’t even bother finishing his sentence. he leans in, and kisses you. your head is wiped of everything he just said. you don’t think of yeri, you don’t think of mark, you don’t think about the afternoon at the cafe or that moment you saw under the mistletoe. you’re wrapped up in him, in the smell of his perfume. the graze of his fingertips against your cheek. and you reach out over the console, and wrap your arms around his waist like you always wanted to.

when you break apart, the radio announcer wishing everyone a happy new year, he mumbles. “didn’t get to finish my confession.”

you laugh and lean forward, to kiss him again. the cars on the road had all stopped, and you think that maybe the whole universe has been waiting for this moment. “i’ll do it for you. i think i really like you haechan. i think i love you.”

and you think maybe it’s not so cruel, to sit with your best friend, who you are in love with, and who loves you back, the kiss still buzzing on your lips, as you watch the fireworks in the sky, the voice on the radio singing in the new year.

#haechan #haechan scenario #haechan au #haechan angst #haechan fluff #nct scenario #mark scenario #nct imagines #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct dream scenarios

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justanamesstuff · 1 year

Text

All I Need

Chapter 8

A/N: I'm just going to say, don't hate me...and I love you guys!! Thanks for reading :'))

Warnings: a pinch of fluff, ANGST, hate, possibilities of someone cheating, baby crying, typos.

Word count: 10 k

Blog masterlist Series MASTERLIST

Morning of the 1st show of ‘The 1975 on tour’.

The sun peaking through the curtains –of Matty’s room– enlighten the place enough to wake Y/n up. She blinked her eyes open, staring at the wall a few meters further from the bed. Y/n rubbed her cheek on Matty’s chest, feeling it rise and fall rhythmically. He was still asleep, keeping her safe and close to him.

Y/n couldn’t help to smile, enjoying the last minutes before they had to start the day; a busy day, specially for Matty and the band.

She lifted her head from his chest, choosing to look at him. Matty moved his head to her side as a subconscious response to her actions. His long eyelashes resting on the top of his cheeks, his curls a mess around his pillow. Y/n’s smile grew fonder.

The last month and a half with Matty felt like a dream. Her dream. Y/n felt her chest contract to the feeling of having to say goodbye to Matty for a few weeks. The show was the first one of a long list around the UK. The band was going to be closer, but Matty wasn’t going to be close enough. She wanted him right there, all the time, but life had other plans. Y/n tried to get rid of those thoughts. She glanced at the vintage clock Matty had on his bedside table.

Y/n let her hands touch the skin of his right cheek. “Matty.” She started sweetly.

“Mmm.” Matty mumbled following her touch.

“You need to wake up.”

“Mmm.” He let out again, reaching –still with his eyes close– for the back of her head. “We still have time-” Matty’s voice was deep due to sleep. He tried to bring her closer.

“We don’t, babe.” Y/n let him know, preventing the sadness to slip away, tinting her words.

Matty groaned, opening his eyes only a quarter to look at Y/n. “I don’t want the day to start.”

Y/n couldn’t help to laugh at his lie. He had been excited to be back on stage, with the guys and the fans in the same room. He was static for Amelia to watch daddy perform for the first time in her short life.

“That’s a lie, Healy.”

Y/n let him brought her towards his face this time. She let their noses touch on a sweet caress. Matty let his lids fall again, sensing her, imprinting the moment in his head for the next few weeks until they could repeat it.

“I’m going to miss you.” Matty said, acknowledging the elephant in the room.

Y/n swallowed thick, trying not to cry. “Mmm.” She could only let out, which called Matty’s attention. He stared at her face, searching for her eyes, although Y/n kept them close.

“Oh, baby!” Matty was fully awake now. His heart broken at the sight of her suffering because he had to leave. “It’s going to go by so quickly…and we’ll be back together in no time, okay?”

“Yes.” Y/n let their foreheads touch.

“Come here.”

Y/n rested her head once more on top of Matty’s body, hiding her head on his neck. She breathed him in; his aftershave mixed with the smell of the –horrible– camels he smoked, his essence. Instead of suppressing what she was going through, Y/n let herself actually feel everything. That was the thing with Matty, she felt safe enough –when it was him and her– to just be herself. Y/n knew Matty would be there to support her if she needed him.

The sound of Amelia waking up came from behind Y/n. The baby call resting on her bedside table announced the actual start of the day.

“Can you get her?” Y/n asked Matty.

He let some breath out, similar to a laugh. “It’s your turn…” He reminded her.

“No, it’s yours!” Y/n protested, without wanting to leave her place on the bed. “Please!” She softly begged.

“What do I get?” Matty played it suggestively.

It was a game that could be played by the both of them. Y/n shoot back, “I’ll do anything you ask…”

“I like the sound of that, baby.” Matty let his hip buckled up, making her sense his morning arouse.

“Healy, your daughter is waiting…and you have your head deep in the gutter-” Y/n shook her head as a way to let him know she was disappointed.

Matty smiled wide, “I’d like to have it deep in yours, if you ask me.” Y/n gasped out loud, lifting her head from his body.

“And thinking you’re her favourite!” She told him, coming to rest her back on the headboard of Matty’s bed.

“‘Course I am…I’m daddy!” He answered proudly.

Y/n looked at him stood up –grabbing his sweatpants– and teased him, “Mhm, you’re daddy…”

Matty turned around with his trousers half up his skinny legs. He looked at her stunned, protesting, “Don’t say it like that!”

“What?” Y/n exclaimed innocently.

“You make it sound weird…” Y/n laughed about it. “Anyway, I’ll get our baby…” He informed her, marching to the door.

“Matt?”

“Yes?” He turned around after he heard her talk.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Matty looked around, trying to figure out what could it be. “What?” He stared at her blankly.

“Kiss.” Y/n only pronounced, gaining a big smile from Matty.

On a quick movement, Matty jumped on the bed, pinning her on the mattress. “Now Mel has to wait because of you-” He breathed on her lips.

“What a horrible parents we are.” Y/n joked, grabbing his cheeks.

Matty let all his body weight rest on Y/n, connecting their lips. Y/n felt his hard on restricted between their bodies. She wished Amelia had slept longer that morning, but it was a dead wish. The little girl was bubbling away at the other end of the baby call.

“Okay, go.” Y/n indicated with their lips still connected.

“One more…” The singer requested breathless. “I can’t get enough of you.” Matty admitted with his mind fogged. He let his nose lead the way, drawing a path from her lips, down her chin and onto her neck.

“I hope you never get enough…” Y/n ran a hand through his curls, tugging a little.

“Rude!” Matty protested.

Y/n rolled her eyes, “You know how I mean it…”

“Fine. You know what? I’ll go and get a girl that values me-” Matty continued his fake annoyance, proud of himself when she smiled brightly at him.

“Your own daughter doesn’t count, Healy.” Y/n warned Matty, joining the joke.

“‘Course she counts. She’s the person I love the most, and she loves me equally back.” Matty dramatically presented the facts for her.

“Oh, I know!”

Matty looked at Y/n from the end of the bed, placing his hands on his hips, showing her his broad chest in all its glory. “Jealous, Y/l/l?”

“Nope, she loves me a great deal.” Y/n reply, ogling his naked skin.

“Who doesn’t?”

Matty’s delicately words took her out of her entrance. Y/n look up, founding he was staring at her with heart eyes.

“Stop! Our daughter is waiting!” A very blushed Y/n scolded him.

Matty threw his head back, slightly annoyed she was resisting his affection. He left the room. Y/n heard –thanks to the caller– his happy greeting to Amelia, and the reply to it. The conversation was full of ‘baby’ and ‘daddy/dada’. Y/n smiled, content with her family. She was for sure going to miss him, although she was sure they could manage.

“Look who’s here!” Matty made his appearance with Amelia, still in her PJ’s, in his arms.

Amelia grew excited when her soft brown eyes fell on Y/n. “Mommy!”

“Good morning, my mel-mel” Y/n waved from her place on the bed. “Come to mommy!” She lifted her arms, asking for her.

Matty left Amelia on the bed, so she could crawl towards Y/n. He stood at the end of it, looking at his girl's greet.

“Who’s going to see daddy sing today?” Y/n looked at the girl in her embrace, while Amelia nestle on her chest.

Matty complained once more, “Stop saying-”

“I made you a DILF, I have the right to call you ‘daddy’.” Y/n shut him up.

“Touché.”

“Dada...” Amelia interrupted her parents bickering, calling for him to be close.

Matty returned to his place on his bed, at the other side of Amelia. The little girl following every single one of his movements. Daddy was indeed her favourite person in the world.

“Hello baby, did you sleep well? Nice dreams?” Matty bumped her nose. He loved to interact with her sweet girl.

“Yes.” Amelia answered, showing him his cute smile.

“About daddy?”

She laughed, blushing, hiding her face on Y/n’s chest. Matty felt a sore feeling inside his heart. Amelia was growing too fast for his liking. He looked at Y/n admitting, “I don’t want her to keep growing.”

Y/n nodded in agreement. “Right?”

“I miss the days she was this little,” Matty measured in the air the size of Amelia during her first few weeks. “Resting on my chest. Those first months went by so fast…” Matty felt rather nostalgic that morning, looking at her daughter. He tried not to think of how much he was going to miss her.

“Yeah.” Y/n agreed, staring at Amelia play with her bracelets.

Matty’s questions took her by surprise, “Have you ever thought about having more kids?”

“Have you…?” Y/n arched her eyebrow. Was he proposing…?

Matty blushed, he had though about it, “Mhm, multiple times.”

“Matty-”

“I’m not-”

“Okay.” Y/n breathed again with relief. She didn’t know if she was ready for all of it again, she wasn’t sure she wanted more kids.

“I just think it would be amazing to grow the family, Amelia can have a sibling to play with… It’s nice to imagine another baby.” Matty talked with his mind replaying the scenarios he thought about so many times, specially during the last month.

“A boy or another girl?”

“I don’t care, I would be over the moon with either…imagine a little boy running around, following Amelia. He would impatiently wait to play with her…being so small, still expecting for his big sister to like him, to include him in her imaginary games. Same with another girl.”

“That’s so sweet, Matty.” Y/n reached out to touch his hair. He could be so tender and adorable when he wanted.

“Would you like to be a big sister?” Matty included Amelia back into the conversation.

“Daddy!”

“She wouldn’t be happy with daddy’s attention elsewhere.” Y/n teased him.

“I bet…”

Matty was too embarrassed about bringing the subject, he decided to change the course of the conversation. “Okay, who wants breakfast?”

“Me!” Amelia stood up on the bed, Y/n rest her hands at both sides of her chest, preventing her from falling.

“Let’s go!” Matty took her in his embrace, lifting her little body into the air. The singer started to make sounds of flying, manoeuvring her body —carefully— around. Amelia giggles filled the entire house.

*******************************************

Y/n was brewing tea for her and Matty, meanwhile him and Amelia talk on the big table. He had been, from a time being, trying to teach her sounds and words.

“What sound does a cow make?” Matty tested her knowledge.

“Muuu!” Amelia repeated what she had learned before.

He rewarded her with a big kiss on her cheek. “Well-done baby!” Matty screamed.

“And a dog?”

“Guff, guff!”

“That’s right, mel!” He clapped this time, trying to encourage her.

“Amelia Healy, you’re so smart!”

“She’s your daughter, Healy….of course she’s a smart kid.” Y/n told him, bringing the full cups to the table.

“I thought she got the looks from me.” He teased Y/n.

Y/n couldn’t deny it.“Yes, that too!”

“Baby-” Matty felt his cheeks blushing with her compliments.

Y/n took a bite of her breakfast, continuing with her praising, “Handsome and smart.”

“Stop!”

“Oh, shush!”

Y/n’s face changed instantly, “Fuck…” She whipped her hands fast.

“What?” Matty panicked.

Although, Y/n was out of sight in seconds; leaving a confused Matty seated beside Amelia.

He looked at her daughter, “Do you know something about it?” The singer asked her. Amelia lift her hands in a signal of not knowing. Matty chuckled.

Y/n appeared, after a few minutes of confusion, through the laundry’s room door with a big bouquet hiding her face.

Matty got quite emotional about it. “Baby…”

“For you…from us.” Y/n extended the bouquet of marigold’s for him to grab. “Mel picked them.” Y/n shared with him.

Amelia was looking at the flowers, so Matty inquired her, “Have you, missy?”

“Yes!” She replied.

“Thank you, mel-mel!” He left a kiss on her rosy cheeks. “This is so thoughtful…” Matty admired the bunch on his hands.

Y/n brushed her hair back, without looking at him, expression her idea, “We thought it was a good idea to wish you good luck for today.”

Matty stared at her, completely in love with the girl in front of him. He felt the urge to say it but stopped. “Thank you, baby!” He whispered instead.

His phone vibrate with a message from George, distracting the man for a second. He had to leave now to make it on time for everything they had planned.

“Shit, I’ve to go now…” Matty felt awful to break the sweet bubbled they had been in for the last hour. Reality was knocking on their door.

Y/n felt her body deflated. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you two tonight, right?” Matty examinated her features, he wanted to find something to say or do to cheer her up at least a little.

“Yes, babe. We’re going to be there…cheering for daddy, right, Mel?” Y/n forced herself to appear more happy than she felt. Matty needed to focus on the show and no on her, as she well knew he would do if Y/n let him really see she wasn't happy with him leaving the house.

“Yes!” Amelia clapped from her high sit.

“Perfect.” Matty said, leaving a kiss at the top of Amelia’s head. Rounding the table, he came face to face with Amelia's mother.

He lowered his face, closer to hers. Y/n still felt nervous to show that type of affection around Amelia, she didn’t want to confuse her.

“Matt-”

“I need it, please.” Matty begged, lowering the bouquet on the table.

Y/n checked Amelia. She was playing with her food, messing with it and not giving attention to his parents.

Matty waited for Y/n. She looked at his welcoming eyes, saying, “Sir-”

“I can beg.” He reminded Y/n, half serious, half not.

Y/n brushed his hair out of Matty’s forehead. “I know that.”

“Baby- my baby…”

“Mmm…” Y/n faked not being affected by his pleading tone.

“Please, please, please!” Matty touched the exposed sides of her thighs, feeling her skin.

Y/n couldn’t keep it for longer, “Fine.”

Matty pushed his face forward, connecting his lips with hers. Her mouth tasted like her breakfast and tea. He let his tongue intrude a little. Matty thought since they would be hours apart, he needed to give her a strong kiss, one that had her –and him too– satisfied enough for the time being.

Amelia broke the moment, blasting her hands on the little board making a table for her.

Matty detached himself from Y/n, looking at his daughter. He asked her, “You want kisses too?”

“Up.” She made grabby hands.

Matty took her on his embrace. “I love you.” He told her, staring at her little face.

Amelia rested her head on his shoulder, trying to repeat his words, “Ove you.” Which make Matty’s heart melt.

“Okay, gotta run now.” He started to say his goodbyes, passing Amelia to Y/n. “Put the flowers in a vase for me, please.”

“I will…bye.” Y/n said, feeling his kiss on the crown of her head.

Matty turned around, leaving Amelia and her mother in the kitchen. “I love you.” He exclaimed once more, without turning around, expecting to hear Amelia’s voice again.

Amelia waved from her place, “Ove you!” Y/n couldn’t resist kissing her fluffy cheeks.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hours later… Backstage at the arena.

“Where’s the princess of the house?” Denise shouted from the end of the arena’s hall. Amelia let go of her mother's hand and ran towards Matty’s mother.

The little girl shouted when her grandmother lifted her up, kissing her cheeks –it was kind of an addiction the entire family had, because Amelia owned the cutest cheeks–, which makes the toddler laugh.

“You look gorgeous, Amelia Healy!” Denise pointed to the flower dress, on top of a white shirt and black shiny shoes Matty’s child had on. “Mommy really dressed you up for the occasion!”

“Mommy…” Amelia turned inside Denise hold, looking around for her mother.

Y/n approached the pair, smiling. It was always a sweet sight to look at them together.

“Hello, darling.” Denise chanted, when Y/n was close.

“Hi.” Y/n said, with her voice shaking. She couldn’t suppress the nerves, Y/n knew how hard they had been working for months on to deliver the show of the fan’s dreams.

“How are you?” Denise brought her closer with an arm, a side hug.

Y/n shook her hands, anxiously, spitting out a strangled, “Nervous.”

“Are you playing?” Matty’s mother tried to cheer Y/n a little. She was nervous as well but trusted them, and had seen the boys enough times do it to let the feeling overtook her. Although she empathized with Y/n.

Y/n snorted. “I don’t think fans would be fond of hearing me sing!”

“I bet they would…you’re mini Matty’s version mom after all…” Denise told her.

“Just to mock me.”

“They adore you!”

“Yeah, some of them…which it’s surreal.”

“Nana!” Amelia blurbed out, gaining her attention again, interrupting the adult’s chat.

“Yes, honey?” Denise inquired her with her soft –grandmotherly like– voice.

Amelia directly asked, “Daddy?”

“She can’t stop asking for him.” Y/n warned Denise.

“I don’t know, sweetie.” Amelia’s grandmother told her truthfully.

“Daddy is rehearsing, remember?” Y/n said once more for Amelia’s information. She had been repeating it since they got there, even though Matty’s child wasn’t having it; she wanted daddy and no one else.

“Daddy, daddy, daddy!” She repeated, still in Denise embrace.

Y/n felt bad for her, she shared the feeling with her own daughter. Y/n was dying to see Matty, the difference was she was old enough to understand and wait a bit longer. “I know, I know…” Y/n ran her hand through her curls, she had let them be at its natural state. “You’ll see him in a bit, okay?” She promised.

“How is he?” Denise asked Y/n.

They haven't seen the boys or even Matty, they arrived just after they went to do the last few checks. Y/n shared it with Denise, “We came in just when they left to sound check and I didn’t want to distract them, more like Amelia distracting them.”

“That’s smart. You’re a show girl like dad, all the attention on you!” Denise tried to ease Amelia’s state. The little girl was looking around, expecting for his father to appear in front of her.

“She totally is.” Y/n admitted, proudly.

When all of a sudden, voices came from the other end of the hall. They weren’t at sight to see; although Y/n and Denise shared a knowing look, happy for Amelia specially.

“Where’s my favourite god-daughter?” George’s shouted when his sight fell on Denise holding Matty’s child.

“You only have one, idiot.” Matty hit him playfully on his arm.

“Org, org!” Amelia boobed up and down, excited to see them.

Once they were close enough, George stole her from Denise’s arms, wrapping Amelia with his owns. Matty stood closer to Y/n, touching the small of her back, making her feel calmer now he was close.

“Hi, beautiful!” G tickled her. “I missed you!” He went to kiss her cheeks, making the little girl blush.

“You haven’t seen her in two days…” Matty scoffed, rolling his eyes. Meanwhile, he drew circles on Y/n’s back. She was gone, letting herself enjoy his touch, until her sight fell on Denise’s face, who smiled at them. Y/n felt a little uncomfortable, but she would expose them if she moved aside. So, she chose to stay still.

“Daddy!” Matty’s face brightened, looking at Amelia calling him.

“Is this gorgeous lady asking for me?” Matty took her from G’s arms, gaining a protest from his bandmate. George’s attention changed, going to say hello to Denise and started chatting.

Matty shut him up with a singe look, after he returned all his attention to Amelia. “You look so pretty!” He complimented her, admiring her outfit, on the same vibe as he had planned for his own for the show. “She looks perfect.” Matty turned to look at Y/n.

“She looks dashing.” Denise said, instead interrupting her talking and preventing any response from Y/N. Matty looked at his own mother. “Aren’t you going to greet your mother, Matthew?” She teased him.

“Hi, mom.” He went to kiss her cheek, with Amelia resting her head on his shoulder.

Y/n focused her own sight on George standing at the other side. “Am I invisible to you, Daniels?” Y/n exclaimed, arching her eyebrow to him.

George dramatically let his tall body hang a little, comically going to engulf Y/n in a big hug. “Thought I was imagining you being here!” He joked, talking at the top of Y/n’s head.

“Ha, ha…so funny.” Y/n’s voice coming muffled by George’s chest.

“Let her breath, George.” Matty whined from her side.

George let her go, resting his right arm on top of Y/n’s shoulders. “Jealous man talking…”

“How was sound check?” Y/n freshly cut the bickering.

“Everything is ready to go.” G said excited.

Y/n looked up at him, “That’s cool. Charli is coming, right?” She asked.

“Yeah! She’s looking forward to seeing you and Ames.”

“Me too! I haven’t-” Y/n started to talk, when someone from the crew shouted.

“Matty!” Mark –the security guard– made himself visible for them; the whole group turning around to look at him. “There is a girl at the gate, asking for you.” Mark addressed Matty directly.

“I’m not expecting anyone else, must be a fan.” The frontman tried to brush it off.

Mark insisted, “She’s not…she’s on the list.”

“Fuck…can you take Amelia for a second?” Matty looked at Y/n.

She took their daughter, “Yes.” Y/n’s heart start to pound in her chest, what was going on?

“I’ll be right back.” Matty asked for her, and her only.

*************************************************************

Backstage room.

(30 minutes for the show…)

“Daddy!” Amelia was the first one to spot him, leaving Hann’s children playing alone. Matty didn’t come in alone. A girl was by his side.

When her sight fall upon them, Y/n felt her stomach sank down. Matty glanced at Y/n first, but her sight quickly changed to the floor.

Amelia collided with his legs, forcing him to pay attention to her, “Hey, baby.” Matty lift her up. “This one is Amelia, my daughter.” He introduced her to Amelia, returning his eyes to Y/n’s form sitting on the big couch, not really listening to Carly’s story.

Y/n was in fact listening every word Matty was speaking, the rest of the sounds didn’t reach her ears. She couldn’t quite place what was happening, but she didn’t like it.

“Hi, sweetie.” The voice of the girl made Y/n want to puke. She was young and pretty, she sounded innocent almost.

Amelia hid her face on Matty’s neck. “She’s shy with new people.”

“It’s fine.” The girl didn’t push, understanding, caring.

Y/n tried to focus on Carly speaking, she needed to focus on anything else than the new girl. Who is she? What is she doing there?

Realization hit her, Y/n remembered her.

The girl standing closer to Matty was the same one she saw pictures early on when he returned from New York. She was the same one walking along his side. Her heart broke. He invited that girl to the first show. Had he been in contact for that long? She needed air.

Pushed up from her sit, excusing herself with Carly. Y/n tried to make her way to the door. Bathroom was the destination. “Y/n?” Matty asked, worried before her sudden movements.

“Yeah?” She turned around. The pictured before her brought tears to her eyes. Matty, with Amelia in his arms, and the girl. They looked like one of those pictures of happy families. The air was lacking around her.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, Matty. I need to go to the bathroom. Watch Amelia for me, please.” Y/n rushed her words, wanting to leave immediately. Without more interactions or even acknowledging the pretty girl, she was out.

Once inside the bathroom, after the heavy door closed -leaving the noises at the other side-, Y/n focused on her heart pounding. She tried to breathe deeply, but the anxiety was creeping everywhere around her body. The sight of the girl entering the room with Matty came back to the front of her mind, tears strained her eyes.

Y/n tried hard to contain them. She didn’t want to mess up her makeup. The least she wanted was to look like a raccoon around that porcelain skin girl. This is not about her, Y/n thought. Her problem was with Matty.

He lied, and she believed him. ‘What about the past month and a half? All those nights together…only mean something to her? Hasn’t he felt that? Course not’, Y/n mind spiralled around.

Y/n placed her hands on the marble around the sink. She didn’t want to look at herself, at her own eyes speaking all the truth. Y/n swallowed a cry trying to break through. She needed to pull herself together and go back out; make as if anything was going on inside her mind, her heart, and continue to pretend to be his friend.

A knock distracted her.

“Y/n.” She heard Matty calling her.

“No!” She went for the door, but it was late. He was inside.

Matty took her state in, her body deflating. He exclaimed a quiet, “Baby…”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Y/n took some steps backwards, breaking his heart.

“Y/n?” He asked, expecting.

“Please, leave me alone.” She coldly responded.

“Y/n-” He protested.

Y/n shook her head from side to side, without looking at him. “Matty, I-”

“Sweetheart-” Matty came closer, he went to touch her face, Y/n sensed it. She made the space between them even bigger. Matty’s heart stopping for a second. “It’s not-”

Y/n lift her hand, stopping him. “Don’t tell me it’s not what I think it is…I have eyes. I don’t understand.” She was trying really hard to not cry.

“There’s nothing to understand, baby!” Matty desperately tried.

“Don’t call me baby! No when she’s in the other room-” Y/n bit her lips.

“This is not– She’s not–” Matty didn’t know how to explain everything, how to repair the damage he did. He wanted to push her closer, he needed Y/n. Matty felt hopeless and terrified.

“I knew it was too good to be true.” Y/n stated, regaining her coldness.

Matty felt weak on the knees, “Y/n, please listen to me! This is a mis-” He begged.

“So you can lie to me again? I’m naive, no stupid.” Y/n spat. “I need to go and check on Amelia.” She told him, starting to walk towards the door.

“Amelia is with my mom. She’s okay. Y/n don’t go.” Matty took her wrist. Y/n look at his fingers, and back at his eyes when he started talking. “I invited her way back, wasn’t expecting her to actually show up. She doesn’t mean anything!” He screamed. Matty felt like his words weren’t reaching her. Panic was filling his body, he couldn’t lose her.

“I don’t care, Matty. Let me go.” Y/n said strangely calmed.

“I can’t let you go….how could I?” Matty felt his eyes watering. “No when I’ve just got you back…” Matty spoke softly, loosing strength.

“Don’t-” Y/n protested. “Just stop. Let me go.” She insisted.

“Y/n-”

Someone knocked on the bathroom door behind them. Matty felt rage overtaking him.

“What?!” He shouted, still holding Y/n.

“Matty, are you there?” The stage manager asked.

Matty breathed in, trying to calm down, he asked, “Yes, what?”

“5 minutes!” The person informed him.

“Fuck!” He swore under his breath.

“I’ll get Mel…” Y/n took her hand out of his embrace.

Matty went to touch her again, screaming, “Y/n!” but she was gone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He started screaming without caring who could hear him.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n walked all the way to the part of the arena where the seats for the family members of the guys were. After returning to the backstage room, the guys informed her everyone already left since they had to get on stage. George tried to talk to her, but she escaped, she didn’t want to face Matty again.

She showed her pass to the guards, spotting Denise with Amelia on her arms. The girl was there too. Y/n swore inside.

Y/n didn’t have anything against her –as the same happened with Meredith a month ago– her problem was with the guy of the story.

“Hi, love.” Denise greeted her. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Denise insisted, preoccupied looking at her face.

“Yes, I’m okay. Thanks for asking.”

Y/n was trying to keep herself together, expecting the moment to be inside the security of her house to let every emotion out. She was going to use everything inside her to succeed.

“The show’s about to start.” The girl informed them. Denise looked at both girls, she was paying close attention when Matty’s guest came in and when Y/n stormed out merely seconds after. “Daisy, this is Y/n… Amelia’s mother.” Denise started to make the introductions.

“Hi, nice to meet you.” The girl extended her arm to offer her hand.

“Y/n, this is Daisy, Matty’s...guest.” Denise concluded.

Y/n wanted to turn around and run until she reached home. “Hello.” She shortly answered, shaking her hand in return for half a second.

The lights going off interrupted the awkward moment between them. Y/n thanked the universe for it.

“Mommy!” Amelia, scared, searched for her mother in the darkness.

“Come here, baby.” Y/n took her from Denise’s arms. “It’s okay, you don’t need to worry! Everything is going to be okay.” She tried to calm her daughter.

Amelia hid her little face on Y/n’s neck. “Daddy?” She asked, making Y/n breathing stopped.

“He’s going to appear there…” Y/n pointed towards the stage. “Tell me when you see him, okay?” Y/n was drawing strength from every part of herself. She wanted Amelia to enjoy the show, enjoy seeing her dad perform for the first time, even she was dreading the experience.

Y/n felt Daisy’s sight on her while cooing Amelia. She didn’t care what the girl was thinking about her, her child, or about herself and Matty. She was going to focus on Amelia and only her.

The lights come back on, Matty make his way to be in front of the microphone place in the middle of the stage.

“Daddy! Mommy,” Amelia screamed, looking at Y/n. “Daddy!” She pointed at him.

“I know, baby, I know.” Y/n smiled at her excitement.

“That’s your dad, Mel!” Denise joined the cheers, silence by the millions of people screaming around them. Y/n arranged the noise-cancelling headphones around Amelia’s head.

The show was going smoothly as planned, even though Matty was barely interacting with the audience.

When the break for the rest of the band was supposed to happened, Matty took the microphone, shielding his eyes from the lights.

“There’s someone special here tonight…” He started to speak, still looking on the left side of the stage. People cheered for him, screaming a lot of different things. “I don’t remember the exact place, but-” He rambled. “My little girl is here!” Matty screamed proud.

The lights around the arena came back on, so he could see better around. Although, Matty wasn’t having it.

“Turn the lights off again!” He demanded. “Please, put your phones aside…” He asked rather politely. “My daughter is watching me and the rest of the band…” Matty made a signal like that last part didn’t matter, making everyone –included Y/n– laugh. “For the first time…” He started walking around the stage, looking down at the floor. “She’s here, with my mom and her own mother-” The mere mention of her broke Y/n’s heart a little more. “So, as you can see, this is a very special night for me.”

People started screaming, and proceed to chant Amelia’s name. The girl didn’t understand at first, but when she recognized her name, she started clapping. Y/n joined the mass of people.

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Matty spoke, bringing his free hand to his heart, looking at the fans. “Back to me now…” The crowd laughed again. “This night is special. There are some things I wish were different, but life is-” Matty stopped his sentence suddenly. “I don’t know.” He finished without making too much sense.

The rest of the band returned to the stage, Matty stared at them for a second without speaking. “Right, we’re going to play one of Amelia’s favourite songs…which obviously-” He smugly exclaimed. “It’s one written by daddy.” He gained a new round of screams from the crowd. “I hope you like it, baby. I love you!” Matty closed the moment. Y/n felt tears coming down her cheeks, which she dried quickly, so Amelia didn’t notice.

The first chord of ‘Sincerity is Scary’ started playing around the big venue. Amelia started screaming with excitement filling her little body. Maybe she wouldn’t remember the day, but the happiness was going to be storage on her mind for sure.

Y/n left the little girl on the floor, so she can dance and to rest her arms for a minute. Denise started singing, which made Amelia look at her grandmother. She grew interested and went to dance with her.

Amelia’s mother focused on Matty performing. He was dancing around, even though his sight was somehow gone. Y/n shook her head, returning her sight to her daughter. She was dancing happily with Daisy.

Her heart sunk a little inside her chest. Daisy was nice with Amelia, she was tender, which made Y/n felt worse. She wanted to hate her, but it wasn’t possible.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost midnight, home.

After the concert was done, Amelia had fallen asleep in Y/n's embrace. It was long past her bedtime hour. Y/n felt bad to used it as an excuse to rapidly made her way out of the arena and with the clear idea to return home.

She let her breath out after closing the front door. Tears came to her eyes. It wasn’t on her plans to return home so soon, she would have wanted to celebrate with the guys, with Matty. Thinking about him made her entire body hurt. The memory of him arriving with Daisy still fresh.

Y/n made her way up, to tuck Amelia in her crib. Y/n looked at her own room, and then at Matty’s. She was going back to hers. Another realization sinking in.

After changing Amelia, she didn’t even have to rock her back to sleep, the girl was so tired she didn’t bother to wake up even when her mother changed her clothes.

Y/n barely arrived in the kitchen area, when her phone started going off.

“Y/n, thank god! Where are you?” Matty screamed at the other side of the line when Y/n pressed the phone to her ear.

Y/n was still in enough shock to keep her cold front. “Home.”

“Fuck, Y/n! You scared the shit out of me!” Y/n felt bad to made him worried. She felt bad to wanting to give back some of what she felt during the night.

She explained, “I’d told your mom to tell you. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“Bab-” Matty started to say, but hearing Daisy talk at the other end of the line made Y/n to start feeling angry. The reminder she didn’t meant anything to him.

Y/n cut him, saying, “Amelia is fine, Matty. I’m sorry. Go to your after party-”

He interrupted her this time, “Fuck, no, I’m not going to that…we need to talk! I have to finish here, and then-” Matty tried again for Y/n to listen.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Matty. Not now.” Y/n stopped him.

Matty felt panic again. “Y/n…” He begged.

“I’m going to bed, to my bed.” Y/n informed him; her voice breaking at the end. “Good night, congratulations!” She choked on her words.

Before Matty couldn’t add a single sound, Y/n hang up the phone and fell forward on the kitchen island, crying her heart out.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

One hour later…

Matty claimed up the stairs, jumping between steps to reach the first floor quicker. He needed to see Y/n, they had to talk. He couldn’t give up without fighting for them.

The house was under a complete silence. Most of the lights gone. Y/n previously informed him Amelia was sleeping. He tried to hurry without making too many noises.

When he took the last step, finally arriving at the top of the stairs, his heart sank. Y/n’s door was once more closed. A soft glow of light coming from underneath it. Matty moved forward. He pressed his ear to the door, taking the handle without twisting it.

Y/n was scrolling through some social media, the noise was clear for him. He knocked and all the sounds were gone.

“Y/n…”

Inside the room, Y/n stared at the close door. He was at the other side, he came home and didn’t go to the party.

“Baby…” The nickname brought tears to her hurtful eyes. She wanted so much to run to his arms, although she prevented herself from doing exactly that. She stayed placed on her bed, on those foreign surroundings.

“I know you’re up. I need- We need to talk, please.” Matty tried time again. Y/n felt her tears failing on the comforter.

She pushed herself up, walking until her feet meet middle ground between the door and her bed. “Go to sleep, Matty.” She whispered loud enough for him to hear.

“I can’t sleep if we don’t solve this…”

“Don’t-”

“Y/n.” Matty felt he was running out of resources.

“Go away.”

She returned to her bed. Matty decided to give her space, even with his heart broken. He walked all the way to his room with his heart on his hand, ripped.

Y/n muffled the sound of her sobbing on her hand when she heard his steps walking away.

Matty pushed his room door open, expecting to magically see Y/n there. Reality was a hard pillow to swallow. His bed felt strange, foreign, unfamiliar without her; he didn’t want to try to get in.

He moved closer to it, reaching for his pillow, and stopped in the middle of the same action. He leaned forward, reaching for the pillow Y/n used all those weeks sleeping with him. Matty brought it downstairs with him.

Matty was adamant to keep fighting. He felt asleep, after twisting around on the couch, thinking this was only a big misunderstanding. He could fix it, they were going to solve this and returned right back to normality.

Repeating history two times wasn’t a possibility, Matty reassured himself.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matty left early in the morning only because Jaime called him with an emergency about the tour. He wanted to stay. With a last look-up to the stairs, he left the house.

Y/n felt a wave of ease when she went to wake up Amelia and figured out Matty wasn’t in his room. The door was open, and the bed was already made. She didn’t think he hadn’t slept there.

Her heart shrank when she saw her pillow on the couch but chose to ignore it as best as she could.

*******************************************

The morning was slow, Amelia was playing with her favourite toys around the kitchen and living room making a big mess Y/n didn’t mind. She didn’t have the time or energy to check her phone up to that point. Y/n felt light-headed looking at her notifications.

“Y/n Y/l/l (Matty Healy’s ex) looking cosy with new secret boyfriend”

“Who’s the boy dinning with Y/n Y/l/l?, the fans of the 1975’s lead singer are wondering.”

Y/n made the big mistake to open Instagram, a waterfall of the same blurry picture of her and Paul having dinner that first date bombarded her eyes. The comments under were beyond nasty.

Fanx1: Isn’t she supposed to be taking care of Amelia?

Possionmedaddy123: Matty deserves better!

75fan: Fucking hell, she’s ugly!

Personx: Whore.

Marrymematty: Bitch!

Fanxx75: Who’s the guy? Someone knows about him?

And worse.

Y/n with shaky hands called Grace.

“Hi, I was about to-” Grace picked the phone right away.

Y/n interrupted her, begging, “Please tell me you can come here.”

“Yes, yes…I was going to. This is madness!” Grace told Y/n. She must have seen the articles and comments as well.

“I can’t-”

“Babe, breathe!” Grace instructed from the other side of the line.

Y/n tried to breathe deeply, but it was getting harder to breathe normally. “This is too much…”

“Y/n! Stay alive until I get to your house, please!” Grace implored, scared for her friend’s panic moment.

“Hurry.” Y/n said, cutting the line.

**********

“Hi, sweetie.” Grace appeared quarter of an hour later.

Amelia brighten when she saw her godmother. “Ace!”

Y/n sat close to her kid. She was trying to distract herself and giving Amelia some attention at the same time. Her mind was racing with too many thoughts about Paul, Daisy, and Matty all together.

“I don’t understand from where all of this came from…” Y/n started the conversation with Grace.

The friend asked, leaving her coat on a chair, “You think Paul could've done this?”

“I don’t even know…” Y/n admitted.

Grace continued to think out loud. “It’s been more than a month.”

“I know, this people are horrible!” Y/n remembered all the articles she had been to read with her name on.

“What Matty said about it?” Grace asked without knowing about the events from the night before.

Y/n feared the moment to share it with her best friend. Specially because she knew she was going to finally took account of what happened and her hurt feelings.

“Matty’s calling you.” Grace said this time, looking at her phone left on the table. She went to answer, but Y/n screamed.

“Don’t answer!”

“What?” Grace stared at her like she suddenly transformed into an alien.

Y/n shortly told Grace, “It’s long to explain.”

The sound of her phone going off was getting to her nerves.

“Then do it.”

“I’m going to loss it if I add that to the mix…” Y/n spoke her mind out loud.

Grace grew impatient. “Y/n, tell me.”

“Fuck.”

The device’s sound ceasing. Matty had cut the line.

“He invited another girl to the concert.”

“And?” Grace grew confused with every part of the conversation.

“The same girl he had been seen walking around New York with, people said they were together and-” Y/n bursted into tears.

“Oh, honey.” Grace approached Y/n on the floor, hugging her.

Y/n was thankful that Amelia paid no attention to her and Grace.

“He never mean it, Grace.” She said, between tears. “I was just another hookup for him…”

“He told you that? I’m going to rip his ratty-” Grace’s promise wasn’t in vain.

Y/n cut her, “No, he didn’t…we barely talked, but what should I think if not?” Y/n turned around to look at Grace’s face.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n.” Grace expressed from the bottom of her heart. It wasn’t fair to Y/n all the things that were happening.

Y/n tried to give her the reason about her warnings a month ago, “I should’ve listened to you…”

“No, no…don’t do that to yourself.” Grace made Y/n’s body shake, trying to lose the guilt.

Grace’s phone going off startled them. Matty was calling Grace now.

“He’s calling me, Y/n.” Grace informed her friend, staring at the screen.

“Fuck.”

Grace wasn’t sure what to do. “I-”

“Don’t answer.” Y/n repeat her position about answering his call.

“Y/n-”

“Grace!”

They found themselves into an eye battle. Grace felt she had to answer, Y/n didn’t want her to do it. Y/n launched herself for the phone, even though Grace was quicker and ran to the back patio. Amelia called for her, blocking Y/n to go after Grace.

“Hi, Matty.” Grace greeted him, closing the backdoor.

Matty’s voice was quavering, unsure, when he asked, “Please tell me you’re with Y/n.”

“I am…”

“Tell her to answer me.” Matty commanded Grace.

She tried to keep her calm, “She’s not…ready…to talk.”

“Grace, I swear-”

Matty’s tone rubbed her off. “I’m trying to do my best to not send you to fuck yourself, for everything. I’m trying only for her, so don’t push my buttons, Healy!” She warned him.

“She’s not talking to me. I need to talk to her.” Matty was desperate up to that point.

“Matty-”

“Grace, I’m begging you!”

“Matthew…”

“I swear it’s not what’s look like…” Matty tried to play that card. If Y/n wasn’t going to talk to him, at least if Grace knew, he was sure Y/n was going to get the information.

Grace scoffed. “Paul said the same to her…”

“Don’t compare me with him.”

“I’m stating facts, Healy.”

“Yeah, your cousin is a wanker. I’d never do that to her, never.”

“Then what happened yesterday?” Grace asked, annoyed.

“I’m not with Daisy, I had never been. Grace, please put Y/n on the phone.”

“You’re in no place to demand, Matty. If you’re worried about her, don’t. I’m here, I’m staying as long as she needs. Let her breath for a minute, okay?” Grace requested this time.

“Fuck, you’re asking a lot, Grace.”

“I’m not. Do it, for her and Amelia.” Grace said and proceed to hang up the line.

*******************

Mother and daughter changed scenery since Amelia wanted to watch a movie.

“What did he say?” Y/n interrogated Grace immediately when she returned.

“He wants to talk with you, girl.”

“I’m not sure if I can face him or that conversation.”

Grace went to sit down. “Mhm.”

“This is all so confusing!” Y/n shielded her eyes, without wanting to cry.

“Yeah.”

Grace wasn’t sure if talking was doing any good for Y/n, instead she kept her silence watching Tangled with Amelia and Y/n.

After a few minutes of peace, Y/n’s phone started going off with notifications. She opened the first one, with shaky hands. A new video of the girl and Matty walking side to side after the concert.

Y/n silenced a sob behind her hand, and looked at Grace.

“What now?” Grace half screamed.

Y/n turned the device around, showing her. Tears were stringing her eyes.

“Oh, babes…” Grace left the phone aside, hugging Y/n. “Let it out, I’m here.”

*****************

After Amelia went to have her nap, Grace spoke what she was roaming around inside her mind.

“I think I should take Mel to my flat again…” she suggested.

“Yeah, maybe it’s for the better.”

“You should come too, Y/n.” Grace advised Y/n.

Y/n rational side talked for her, “No, I- Amelia can’t see me like this, and if Matty comes, and we start fighting or whatever…No, I need to protect her.”

“You need to take care of yourself, Y/n. Being here is not helping…”

Y/n didn’t want to leave the safety of her house, even when Matty was going to be back in a few hours. “I’ll stay in my room.”

“Okay, I’m not happy with this, but you do you.”

“Thank you, Grace. For everything…” Y/n took her hand.

“Don’t mention it. I love you!”

“Me too, Gracie.” she let her head fell on her best friend's shoulder.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Dirty Hit’s office to home (non-stop).

Matty’s first instinct once he returned home was to search for Y/n. She wasn't in the kitchen, or living room, or laundry room. Nowhere around the low level. For a second time in less than 24 hours, he ran upstairs.

He was sadly convinced she wasn’t going to be in his room, even though maybe she was in Amelia’s room or bathing their daughter. The house was spectrally under silence. Y/n is nowhere, neither Amelia. Matty felt a rush of panic. He took his phone out of his pocket, ready to call her if his last try didn’t work.

“Y/n?” He knocked on her door.

Silence was the only replied from the other side.

“Y/n, are you there? Are you okay?” Matty tried.

Y/n decided to reply, “I’m fine, go away.” Relief wash over his muscles, at least she was at home.

“Please let me in, I want to check you’re alright…”

Matty found out about the articles and all the videos, he knew very well the effect they had on Y/n. With this new situation between them, it was more than an urgency to speak with Y/n.

At the other side of the door, Y/n wasn’t panicking or even crying. Her anger was boiling at slow tempo. She marched angrily towards the door, opening it with a sudden movement that Matty didn’t expect.

“I’m doing fucking amazing, don’t you see?” Y/n shouted.

“Baby-”

It was the first time they saw each other since the fight in the bathroom, at the arena. His hands ache to hold her, to bring her closer. Y/n wanted to push his away, out of her sight.

“Don’t call me that.” Y/n folded her arms.

“Y/n…”

“I don’t want to hear it, Matty.”

“I need to tell you.”

Y/n scoffed, turning around, far from him. “Exactly what? That all the past weeks, month were noth-” She stopped, choking on a sob. “Nothing for you.” Y/n rearranged herself, looking at Matty’s eyes with her own full of tears.

Matty was taken aback from her sayings. “Nothing?”

“You were with her meanwhile…” Y/n stated as a fact.

“No!” Matty took a few steps forward into her room. “Of course not! Daisy and I- We never- It wasn’t like that between us. Y/n, we-”

“We what? Right, nothing…it meant the same as the other girls you fucked…”

“Y/n, you know that’s not true!” Matty insisted on it.

Y/n let him know, “I don’t know any more after yesterday!”

“Please, listen to me.” Matty continued making himself closer to her. “I would never do that to you, never.” He searched for her eyes, Y/n felt hypnotised by them. “You’re the mother of my baby, you’re my friend…” Y/n went to protest, but Matty stopped her. “You’re the love of my life, Y/n!” Matty finally admitted.

Y/n felt shocked by it. “You don’t mean that, Matty.”

“I do, I fucking do. I loved you since the first moment I met you…” Matty felt brave enough to hold her face between his hands. “I was a fucking coward, I still am. Well, now I’m trying to fix that. I love you, Y/n. I’ve loved you since the start and never stopped.”

“Don’t say that…” Y/n couldn’t believe it, it was impossible for her.

Matty felt more sure of himself. “It’s the truth.”

“Why you never said anything?” Y/n whined, losing herself into his eyes.

“Because…the prospect of losing you, or you hating me- Can’t do, baby.”

“Matty-”

“I mean it.” He leaned forward.

“I don’t know if I can do this- No right now…” Y/n closed her eyes. It was a lot for only one day. She was feeling quite overwhelmed.

“Why not? I know you feel it too.” He was sure of it.

“Matt-”

“Fuck, gorgeous…please.” Matty wasn’t going to stop begging if that was needed for her to returned with him.

“Stop, I need space to think!” Y/n took a step backwards, making his hands fell at his sides.

“What there’s to think, Y/n? We love each other!”

“A lot there’s to think! Saying you love me doesn’t solve things magically, Matty. My phone is bombarded by your fans telling me how horrible of a mother I am, dating some random guy. Said guy that was fucking other girls while dating me, person I don’t want to hear about, but now I have to. My name is on a handful of articles. Amelia’s privacy, my privacy, it has been violated. Add to the mix the videos of you with that girl-” Y/n let her anger took over.

Matty started to explained about Daisy, “I walked her out of the venue…that was all-”

“Well, they say other stuff.” Y/n exposed what the articles were saying. She knew she shouldn’t believe them, but it was difficult not to sometimes.

“Y/n, you know better than-”

“Do I? Matty, this is all very confusing…I need time.” Y/n begged.

“I can give you time, space…everything, but don’t leave me.” Matty reached for her hands.

“I think it is for the best, Matty. For now…”

“No.”

“Yes, we need to think about Amelia. We were okay when we stopped messing around-”

“We weren’t just-”

”Doesn’t matter now.” Y/n spat.

“It does!”

“Matty, be real.”

“I am!”

“What happens when you get bored of me, of being a…couple, ha? Where am I going to be left? Being just your friend again and the mother of your daughter? Think about Amelia…I don’t want us to mess up with her head.”

“Y/n-”

“What happens when you take onto fucking every single groupie again right where you left it?”

“I don’t want to get back to that, Y/n. Since you are in my life, I’m done with it….since we had Amelia here, I’m done with all that shit. I want the three of us…”

“And yet you kept doing it, Matty”

“You’re not being fair with me. Adam has a family-”

“Adam is Adam, you…are you, Matty.” Y/n bitter tone wounded Matty deeply.

“I would do anything to have you again.”

Y/n tilted her head.“When did you really have me, Matty? We were never…”

“Don’t say it, don’t fucking say it.”

“I’m sorry, Matty. I think it is for the better if I stay with Grace for the night…” Y/n concluded.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later…

Matty was closing his suitcase, which was placed on top of his bed; a place that stayed untouched for days. Matty had been sleeping on the couch or besides Amelia's crib. He was physically incapable of getting under his sheets.

He looked around, feeling nostalgic already. Matty had to leave for tour in a couple of hours, before that, George was going to pick him up soon. He didn’t want to leave, not when Y/n and him were barely talking. Matty did his best to give her the space and time she needed, he was sure about his intentions and his past actions. If he had to, he would wait his entire life for her. He was sure she was going to return to be his, this time was different from before. Y/n loved him, he knew. That was what kept him going. Even though, leaving for two weeks was reaping his heart from his chest.

Matty grew used to the routine of staying home, going to the studio and return to his girls. He was getting old, getting tired of all the hassle of touring. He loved the moment he was on stage, with the fans, but the rest was starting to bother him. Specially since Amelia and Y/n stayed at home.

The sound of the front door closing, the soft chat of Amelia and Y/n –mostly the mother talking–, brought him back. He took the suitcase, carrying it in one hand while he started walking downstairs.

Matty left the item close to the door, voices came from the kitchen now. He smiled hearing them interact. He walked slowly there.

“Hey.” He made himself present. Y/n turned to look at him from the kitchen, closing the refrigerator slowly.

“Hi.” She answered.

Matty twisted his hands, anxiously, “George is picking me up in a couple of minutes…” he told Y/n.

“Mhm.” she expressed shortly.

“I’m going to say goodbye to Amelia.” Matty hesitated, wanting to say more, wanting to beg.

“Sure.”

He approached Amelia, interrupting her playtime. “Mel-mel?” He called her attention.

“Daddy!” the little girl said, running to hug him.

Matty rounded her, “Baby, daddy has to go now.” He tried to explain, she looked at him trying to understand. “Daddy is going to miss you so much, Mel.” Matty felt tears coming but fought them, he didn’t want to upset her.

Amelia noticed his change, “Daddy.” she hugged him tight, hiding herself inside his embrace.

“I know, I know…I’ll see you soon, okay baby?” Matty rocked from side to side, trying to soothe her.

“No.” she whined. Y/n’s heart breaking a few meters away from them.

“Yes, you’re going to have fun with mommy and aunty Grace.” Matty tried this time.

Amelia wasn’t having it, “Daddy.”

“It’s okay, we’re okay.”

The doorbell rang, interrupting them. Y/n went to answered it.

After a short chat, she informed, “Matt, George is outside.”

“I know.”

“Come on, she’ll be fine. I promise.” Y/n approached her daughter and Matty.

He stood up, taking Amelia with him. He turned around, coming closer to Y/n. She stood there, waiting for his actions. He took her cheek on his hand, caressing it.

“Y/n-” he said, searching for her eyes.

Y/n contained her tears. It wasn’t the moment. “Not now Matt-”

He rested his forehead on her. If they were going to talk, at least he needed to be close, to touch her after leaving the house. Maybe, like that, she would understand his feelings.

“Please.” Matty couldn’t stop trying.

“Go and do your thing, Matty.” Y/n said, more sure of herself. “We’ll be here…waiting, and then we will talk, okay?” she promised.

“Mhm.” Matty agreed, without moving a single muscle.

Y/n instructed, “Go.”

Matty opened his eyes, looking at her from inches away. “I love you.” he openly expressed.

“Matty.” Y/n softly complained.

“You don’t have to say it, I need to say it.” she nodded.

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Matty spoke, and turned to kiss Amelia’s head. “Bye, baby.” He proceeded to pass Amelia to Y/n.

“Daddy, no-” she struggled, reaching for the comfort of Matty’s body. His heart breaking in pieces with the idea of hurting Amelia.

Y/n lulled her, “Shh, baby…it’s okay, mommy is here.”

Matty walked away, not turning around. If he took one more look at Amelia and Y/n we would refuse to leave the house.

The front door closing down resounded around the house. Amelia started crying harder, Y/n couldn’t contain her tears and joined her.

“Daddy!” Amelia tried to call him back.

Matty was gone.

243 notes · View notes

graytalents · 2 years

Text

I exist, I exist, I exist!

Now playing: Robbers - the 1975

Where you’re caught in between your old life and new, and Saeyoung is full of indescribable emotions.

[Alternatively, the first time MC and Saeyoung canonically fucked in the secret ending.]

He was pacing. He’s been pacing for the past half hour, working out every possible branch that could happen from his plan. If this were a cartoon, the floor would’ve been worn down until he was in a pit up to his waist.

You watched him from your seat on the bed, leaned against the post.

Saeyoung was anxious. His mind was racing with thoughts of the agency, Saeran, V, and you. He was never the hero in the story, no, he was always someone who worked behind the scenes. The phone beeped with coordinate announcements every few minutes. The journey had just begun, with both of you getting ready to head out the door first thing in the morning.

“I know you’re really scared,” he began. “I’m sorry. I promise everything will be over tomorrow.”

He paused to bend over to triple check the backpacks full of equipment.

“I can’t believe it. I’m going to see my brother,” his voice cracks slightly. “You know, without you, I never would’ve known about any of this. And… for the first time, I want to do things with another person.”

He turned towards you, knelt, took your small hands into his.

“Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. But now I’m afraid.”

He reached his hand up to brush your cheek.

“I’m afraid you’ll run off, or something bad will happen again.”

He gazed into your eyes, seemingly searching for approval. No, confirmation.

“Tonight might be our last night. But if it’s our last night, I just want to do one thing.”

His lips grazed yours.

“Can I… be a bit selfish to you? I-I want to leave evidence on you… that I existed.”

You don’t miss the way he spoke in past tense. It’s like he was ready to leave at the slightest hiccup. He looked wistful and somber.

He caressed your cheek, taking in your appearance.

“I want to hold you and love you all night, just so you can remember me.”

He kissed your hand.

“Will you let me?”

Breath caught in your throat, you nod.

You leaned forward, brushed your lips against his. He rested his hands on your thighs, supported himself as he drew his lips under your earlobe, down your neck, onto the soft skin that connected your shoulders. He lightly nibbled, eliciting small gasps.

He traveled back towards your mouth, kissing you deeply until his lips parted with a small pop!

He fully stood, and gently pushed you backwards onto the mattress.

He stood over you, taking in the shapes of your figure. He’d never felt as close to God as in this moment.

Your hair, expression, trust in your eyes made you appear like an angel to him. He snapped a mental picture of you, and stored it in his heart for later.

In reality, he asked, motioning towards your top: “Can I?”

You pushed your chest out towards him, silent confirmation. With trembling hands, he unbuttoned your shirt. On the last button, he reverently opened the fabric, exposing your bare skin.

Goosebumps shivered up your torso, both anticipation and the coolness of the room. He took notice and traced his fingers over your stomach. Sadness and excitement coursed through his veins. He needed to be with you more than tonight. He couldn’t bear to see you leave him behind.

Tonight, he’d be selfish. He wanted to braid his existence with yours, so that they’ll never unravel.

He ghosted his mouth over your exposed neck, sucked small bites every few inches.

He made his way down your chest, circling your perky buds, bit at your sensitive skin. You sighed contently, relaxing into his touch. His hands gripped your sides, printing his fingertips into your skin.

Your hands wandered down his torso, until you landed at the button of his pants. Slowly, your hand kept going further and further, stroking his length with a feather touch. His hips bucked forward involuntarily and he groaned, releasing your nipple from his teeth.

Your hands made swift work of releasing him from the constraints of his waistband. Your hands tugged at his length, running your finger over his weeping slit.

“F-Fuck, my love, you’re so good, so pretty,” he panted. It took a tremendous amount of effort to not fuck into your fist, much as he wanted to.

He knelt above you, removed your bottoms and underwear. He lightly scratched your thighs, taking satisfaction in your whines.

He lowered himself between your thighs, kissing down the top of your thighs, inner thighs, pussy, and finally, there.

He suckled on your throbbing clit, keeping a slow and hard rhythm. He bit on your nub between licks. Your thighs shook, wanting to close around him.

Strong hands maintained your thighs open, gripping soft flesh as he methodically maneuvered your clit between his lips and tongue.

As he felt you grind against his tongue, he slowly introduced a finger into your entrance. He relished in your gasping.

“Please, please Saeyoung, ‘s too much,” your stomach tightened in pleasure.

He inserted another finger, sped up his pace. He kept up his ministrations without faltering. Groans escaped him, as he took great pleasure in your taste and feel.

Your walls surrounded his fingers deliciously, and your wetness cascaded into his mouth as he worked you into a state of bliss.

He pointed his tongue, massaged your heavy clit in his mouth with every suck. As his fingers furled up into the soft area inside of you, you fell apart on him.

Your thighs shook, eyes rolled up, mouth open in a soft oh!

Saeyoung watched you with adoration peppered across his face. You, covered in faint purple and red love bites, filled to the brim with him, his hands, his affection.

“Pretty, so so pretty for me. You can come again, right?” he looks at you with want, like he’s never wanted anything more. Hands guided his badly aching and leaking tip to your entrance.

“You can come with me in you? I want to feel it, feel you, need to feel you around me,” he paused to push the tip in, shallowly pumping in and out.

“‘s okay, ‘s okay, gonna fill you up, gonna make you feel good,” he starts to babble, intoxicated by you.

“Want you to remember me, remember how good you feel with, fuck, me. Need you, need you, need, mmf, you—“

Upon the last syllable, he pushed fully in. The sensation had you feeling full, while he felt you warm and overwhelming. Mouths open, tongues peeking out, you pulled him towards you. He envelopes your mouth, drinking in your moans as he slowly gyrated his hips into yours.

You rested your ankles on his lower back, pushing him to go deeper. He broke free of your kiss and straightened up, failing to falter in his thrusting. He pushed your leg to rest on top of the bedpost, allowing him to reach further into you. His hands rested on your open thighs, massaging them roughly. Sweat beaded down his furrowed eyebrow.

“Y-You’re doing so fucking well for me, my love. So gorgeous, all for me, like I, ah, deserve it. So pretty, taking my cock like that.”

He pinched your clit gently between his fingers as he pounded into you. His other arm hoisted your hips up, allowing his curved figure to repeatedly access the soft and spongy part inside you.

Your hands gripped onto nothing, hips moving in sync to his. The tension snapped in your stomach again, and you came. The feeling spread white hot to your fingertips, as you creamed a thick ring around his cock.

He whined, muttering out curses as he continued to rut into you. Your sensitive hole gripped him, lewd noises filling the cabin as a result from your arousal. You pleading whines spurred him on.

He thrust steady hard pumps into you, relishing your orgasm as he pulled out and fisted himself to completion on your chest and cheeks. Your tongue stuck out, licking up what you could around your mouth and pulling him in for a taste.

He collapsed on top of you, spent. He wanted to leave evidence that he existed. He wanted to exist, and he wanted to exist next to you for the rest of his life. You accepted him, and he wanted to love you deeply for the rest of his life.

#mysme #mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #saeyoung x reader #saeyoung x mc #saeyoung smut #707 x reader #707 x mc #707 smut #mystic messenger smut #I was definitely. not sober while writing this so never gonna look at this post again #obligatory I’m sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes

684 notes · View notes

the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Text

A Brief History of Time

A/N: sorry this request took a minute. My mental health as been trash lately and I feel like it’s starting to affect my writing. Hope this can still bring a smile to your faces though. Or at least make the person who requested it happy. Let me know what you think!

Warnings: none.

—-

“When I said I wanted to go for a walk, I didn’t realize it was gonna be raining.” She groaned, using her purse as a makeshift rain hat to protect herself from the rain.

“What, you call this rain? That’s not real rain. We’re in Manchester, baby.” Matty smiled, looking up at the sky as raindrops landed in his hair.

“What else would I call it?”

“Spitting.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Is that a Manchester thing?”

“Could be? I think it’s just an England thing to be honest.” He shrugged, watching her frown with every raindrop that landed on her clothes. “Alright, alright, you big baby. let’s find you an umbrella.”

***

“This was their last one.” Matty called out as he emerged out of the store. “You got really lucky- allow me.” He opened the umbrella for her, sticking his arm out, and gesturing for her to get underneath it. “M’lady.” She hopped closer to it, relieved at the shelter it provided. Matty held the umbrella up for her while she wrapped her fingers around his arm, huddling in to share in the cover with him.

“All better now?” He smiled down at her.

“Mhm.” She reached up, kissing his lips as a gesture of gratitude. “You know what would be even better, though?”

“What, my love?”

“If we could stop at that Starbucks over there. I think a coffee might be nice.”

“You want a coffee? Alright. But we’re absolutely NOT going into a Starbucks. I know a better place.”

“It’s gonna be really far away, isn’t it?”

Matty said nothing, simply smiling as he sprinted down the street, causing her to giggle and speed up to keep up with him.

***

“Oh, hey, look. It’s The Deaf Institute.” Matty stopped in his tracks abruptly, pointing at the building. A smile crept its way onto his face as he walked closer to the front door, leaning in to take a peak through the glass.

She couldn’t help but smile as well as she watched him visibly light up at the sight of the place whispering exclamations to himself.

“It’s where we had our first proper 1975 show, you know.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…like, just when we were starting to attract attention. We played here and it fucking blew my mind that people knew the lyrics to ‘The City.’” Matty’s eyes twinkled with pride as he recalled the night, a decade ago. He couldn’t believe how quickly his whole life had changed.

“Hey, let’s go in there.” She whispered in his ear, as if sharing a secret plan.

“I thought you wanted a coffee…”

“Just a quick look around. I wanna see!”

“Alright, then.” Matty held the door open for her. “After you.”

“You’re such a gentleman.” She teased.

The place bustled with energy. The warm orange -red lights giving everything a golden glow. The space was by no means huge, but it was definitely packed. The walls lined with promotional posters of upcoming events. Some announced comedy shows, others were for bands and up and coming artists. She found herself imaging a 24 year old Matty, excitedly bouncing around the place. The image made her heart flutter with joy.

“I mean, at the time, the place felt enormous to us. We didn’t even have that many songs yet, I can’t believe we managed to put together a set list.” He laughed. “Oh my god. Look how low the stage is. In my mind, I was way above the crowd. This can’t be more than a few inches.” He giggled at the power of his memory to exaggerate the details of such a concrete moment.

An idea popped into her head. She pulled her phone out, typing “the 1975 the deaf institute,” into the search engine. “Oh my god, look! It’s on YouTube!” She held her phone up to his face, watching as he chuckled dramatically. “Look at my fuckin hair. What a wanker!” He shook his head.

“Hey, Matty? I have an idea. Go stand over there. I wanna take a picture of you. Re-create this original moment.”

“Babe-“

“Nope. I’m not taking no for an answer. Go!”

Begrudgingly, Matty did as she said, standing in the same corner that he clung to 10 years ago, smiling at her.

“Iconic! I’m making that my phone background.” She announced, proud of herself for having made him do it.

Within moments, a group of friends at the bar had recognized him and walked over to say hello.

She stood a short distance away, watching, and brimming with pride as he shook the fans’ hands and posed for pictures with them.

“Thank you. Nice to meet you!” He waved at them on the way out, flinging his arm around her and getting ready to open his umbrella again.

The rain had picked up when they stepped back out onto the street. It was definitely no longer just ‘spitting.’

“We’re having our afterparty at The Deaf Institute, you know? Like after our Manchester show.” Matty informed her as the building began to disappear behind them.

The pitter-patter of the rain against their umbrella was too loud for them to hold a conversation. They walked side by side, in silence, Matty occasionally pulling her to him and kissing her forehead.

“What- the- fu-“ Matty’s face dropped, pausing at the sidewalk.

“What? What is it, baby?”

“This- this was supposed to be the coffee shop.”

She looked around, confused. “Where?”

“Exactly! It’s gone! This- here!” He pointed to a partially demolished building. “This is where George and I would come get a coffee sometimes. Adam and Ross hated it. I mean, they’re right, it was shit, but it was all we could afford when we were kids, so- I can’t believe it’s gone!”

“I hate to interrupt your nostalgic grief, but umm, you were purposefully bringing me to a shitty coffee place?”

Matty smiled, his reminiscent bubble popping instantly. He shook his head. “It’s shit in a good way. You know when somethings so bad that it’s actually kinda good?”

“Nope. No, sorry, I do not.” The coffee snob in her finding his logic unacceptable.

He chuckled, taking her hand in his and resuming their walk once again. “C’mon. Let’s keep walking. We’ll find something eventually.”

***

“Do you like Manchester?” He looked down at her face. The rain had finally stopped, so he closed the umbrella, using his now free arm to keep her close to him as they walked on.

“You know what? I think I do, actually. Plus, you seem to love it, and I like seeing you so happy.”

“Think I’d like to raise my kids here.” Matty blurted out, unthinkingly.

“You-you think about having kids?”

“Yeah, I mean….you know. Someday. Don’t you?”

“Y-yeah. Yeah, me too. I guess I just didn’t realize you were thinking about stuff like this- like, where you’d raise them.”

“Can’t help it. When I’m here, it’s kind of all I want.”

She felt a warm and fuzzy tingle in her stomach at the thought of Matty raising his kids in the place that had brought him up. She thought it was sweet that he’d considered something like that.

Matty had seen something that made him stop right away. She hadn’t realized it until she felt his arm pull her back like an anchor, and when she turned around to see what he was looking at, she noticed the posters herself.

“Wow…record shop?”

“No, it’s a club actually.”

“Look! The Arctic Monkeys.” She giggled, pointing to the poster, having noticed that The 1975’s own ILWYS poster was hanging just a few rows below.

“You think you’re teasing me, but I’m genuinely an Arctic Monkeys fan so, I don’t mind.” Matty laughed.

“Yeah, you’re probably the only person who doesn’t hate their new album.”

“Hey! No slagging off my boy, Alex.”

“Did you just…call Alex Turner ‘your boy’ ?” She shook her head.

“Don’t care what Twitter says. He and I get on and I think their song ‘Perfect Sense,’ is fucking mint.”

“Alright, well, we’ve been walking for like an hour and I still don’t have coffee. Can we please go to Starbucks now?”

***

They sat on the bench by the river, sipping their coffee and enjoying watching the birds land and dip into the water for a drink.

When Matty turned to look into her eyes, he noticed that she was shivering. Quietly, he took off his long, black coat and wrapped it around her, laughing to himself at the sight of her being swallowed whole by the fabric.

“Thank you, babe.” She kissed his hand.“Where’d you get this coat, anyway?”

“Stole it off the wardrobe department. Patricia found it for a photo shoot, but I liked it too much to let it go, so…”

“So, I’m wrapped up in stolen goods is what you’re telling me.”

“But doesn’t the fabric feel really nice, though?”

“I….can’t lie, it does.” She conceded, closing her eyes and enjoying the whiff of Matty’s cologne that flooded her senses when a gust of air rattled the coat around her body.

“If you’re too cold, we could just go home.”

“No, please. I’m having the best afternoon. Let’s stay for a little while.”

135 notes · View notes

wyattjohnston · 1 year

Text

you always did feel just like home - nathan mackinnon

summary: valorie hadn't meant to be away from nova scotia for so long, and she hadn't meant to immediately insert herself back into nate's life. mysterious how the universe works.

word count: 11,365

warning: not exactly healthy alcohol consumption

note: it is finally time for me to put my money where my mouth is and post my exchange fic instead of just bothering everybody else! this is written for the winter fic exchange 2k23 and i wrote it for cait (hey @blueskrugs that's you)! i hope you like it! thanks to @matthewtkachuk, @comphy-and-cozy @farbutnevergone & @laurenairay who have all provided feedback as this grew to be a lot longer than anticipated.

Valorie hadn’t intended to be late and it meant that she was immediately the centre of attention when she walked into the café. She spotted the table of her friends that was discretely to the side and out of the way, though that discretion flew out the window when Amber and Valorie squealed as they saw each other.

They rushed to close the distance, throwing their arms around one another in a hug that only remained upright because Mike was standing close enough by to keep them that way. Valorie, after pulling away from Amber, greeted Mike with a more subdued but no less friendly hug.

Neither Mike nor Amber were who she’d noticed first, though, because the third person at the table was Nathan MacKinnon and he was a man who was impossible to miss.

Despite how much she wanted to step forward and greet him in the exact same way, Valorie wasn’t sure where the boundaries were, so she opted for saying, “I would have thought you’d be far too good to hang out with us lowly commoners.”

Nate smirked, looking as if he’d been expecting it, but it wasn’t him who spoke next.

“We haven’t seen you half as much as him in the last seven years,” Mike said, thumping his hand across Nate’s broad chest. Valorie was momentarily distracted by just how broad it was; those years had been very good to him.

Mike continued, “Dogg knows where he came from.”

“Yes, yes, I’m the worst,” Valorie said with an eyeroll as she pushed everyone back to their seats. Nate paused for long enough that Valorie greeted him with a hug and a lingering kiss on his cheek.

Valorie sat opposite Nate, tucking her legs underneath her own chair to avoid accidentally entangling them with his—the length of his was a memory firmly engrained in her mind.

Immediately it became clear that the conversation was not going to trend towards the Cup like she’d been hoping. It was far and away the most exciting thing she could think of for any of them to talk about, but she supposed that everyone had had the same thought since Nate arrived back in Nova Scotia.

Instead, Amber lifted Valorie’s wrist to get a closer inspection of the bracelet she was wearing and the boys leant in, too.

“Got to keep the jewellery, I see,” Amber said, her voice slightly awed. Valorie couldn’t blame her.

“Everything but the car,” Valorie said. “It would have been useless up here anyway. Definitely not meant for winter tyres.”

“You should have kept it and flipped it,” Mike said, tapping against the table in thought. “An Audi, wasn’t it?”

“Porsche.”

Mike whistled low and impressed, Nate’s eyebrow twitched—Valorie almost missed it—and he leaned back in his seat. Valorie could only imagine what cars Nate was driving around Colorado or Nova Scotia. As nice as her Porsche was, she was sure it paled in comparison.

Valorie pulled back her hand, hiding it away under the table to stop Amber playing with it any longer.

“You still wear what he bought you?” Nate asked, his voice curiously tight as his eyes flicked between her face and where the bracelet was hidden under the table.

Valorie thought for a moment, cataloguing everything she had put on that morning. “I think everything I’m wearing was a gift from him. It wasn’t a bad break up; no bad memories associated with any of it.”

Until that moment, Valorie had been perfectly comfortable with the idea of it—her entire wardrobe had been bought by her ex so she didn’t have much choice anyway, but under Nate’s careful gaze every inch of fabric felt suffocatingly heavy.

“Why did you break up?” Amber asked. “It sounds perfect.”

“I wanted to come home,” Valorie answered simply, one shoulder rising in a shrug as she tried to casually avoid eye contact with her friends.

“He had enough money; you could have come home whenever you wanted.”

“What? You think I’ve been back, like, twice in seven years because that’s what I wanted?” Valorie asked, somewhat viciously, directing her words and the accompanying glare at Mike. “There was always someone to meet, something to do, somewhere to be and I couldn’t ever get away. I missed home.”

Mike, rightfully chastened, lowered himself down in his chair just enough to let Valorie know he regretted what he’d said. Nate and Amber were sitting in an awkward silence and Valorie had to speak just to move them along.

She continued, “And I was bored as hell. I was asked if I’d be interested in the Real Housewives of Miami reboot and if I stayed much longer I would have said yes just to have something to do.”

Amber’s laugh was raucous, eliciting the same from Valorie, and she said, “You’re too young to be on that show.”

“That’s most of the reason I said no!” Valorie shrieked, still laughing. “That and I was actually a housewife? The other women on that show have, like, careers and are important and aren’t just sitting at home complaining about doing yoga.”

“I’d watch a show that was you doing yoga.”

Three heads turned to Nate, all barking out surprised laughs at his deadpan voice accompanied by the casual expression that remained on his face—almost as if he hadn’t said anything at all.

Mike thumped Nate across the chest, as he’d done earlier, and said, “We all know you would, Nate.”

“That’s really it, though?” Nate pressed on, not even looking at Mike as he thumped him back, “You couldn’t come up with a schedule where you got to come home more?”

“It wasn’t going to work,” Valorie said firmly. Nate tilted his head but was kind enough to not press her any further.

Despite all the talk of Valorie living a lavish lifestyle, when it came to ordering food she was conservative with her money. She didn’t have a choice when that money was coming out of her own, not very large bank account. It didn’t matter in the end, because Nate quickly took over and promised that he’d pay after ordering a ludicrous amount of food all the while flicking his gaze to Valorie every few seconds.

After they’d finished eating—having spent so long that it was clear they were only being allowed to stay because they were with Nate—Mike and Amber hurried off before they were late to see Amber’s parents, leaving Nate and Valorie on the sidewalk out the front.

“Where are you living?” Nate asked, his keys twirling in his hands. “Do you want a ride?”

Valorie nodded, surprised but please, “Oh, yeah, thank you. I’m staying with my parents. They haven’t moved.”

He didn’t say anything as he started moving towards the parking lot behind the café. It hadn’t changed much since they were 16, slowly walking back to Nate’s second-hand truck after a date neither of them really wanted to end.

“You’re back with your parents?”

“I haven’t had a job in seven years, nobody will hire me, and nobody will let me lease a house without pay cheques so…”

“That’s rough.”

“It’s fine,” she insisted. Nate’s face screwed up, so she added, “I still get on with my parents so it’s really fine.”

The Porsche Cayenne he led her to wasn’t so much a surprise, given the dealership that would have jumped at the chance to have one of their vehicles driven by Stanley Cup Champion Nathan MacKinnon—it was, however, a reminder of the 911 she’d left behind in Miami.

Of everything she’d left behind in Miami.

They were sitting in the Cayenne out the front of Valorie’s parents’ house, her hand on the door handle, when Nate said, “I’ve got room at my place if you want it.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Nate,” she smiled back at him, appreciative, “but I don’t have any money to pay rent.”

Valorie opened the door and looked back into the car when she was standing upright, to thank Nate for dropping her off.

“I don’t need rent from you.”

“Nate.”

“Just say the word, Val.”

Moving into one of Nate’s spare bedrooms was easier than Valorie had anticipated; Nate picked her up a few days after he dropped her at her parents’ home in Crichton Park, loaded some bags into the trunk and unloaded them into a bedroom with a lake front view in Grand Lake.

He’d declared that everything in the house was hers if she wanted it and raised a challenging eyebrow when she walked into the wine room and declared that she’d start with the most expensive bottle and work her way down—she knew exactly which one it was, too, even with a cursory glance at the bottles lining the walls.

“It’s probably not as nice where you lived in Miami,” Nate said as he finished the tour.

Valorie laughed, “The lovely Mediterranean Revival home that he gutted and turned into a Hypermodern nightmare so the inside and the outside clashed? The one that didn’t even have a view of the beach? I’ll miss a lot of things about Miami but that house is not one of them.”

“I didn’t know you cared about that stuff.”

“Architecture?” she clarified, waiting for Nate’s slow nod before she shrugged. “I had a lot of time to kill.”

Valorie spent most of that first day on the deck overlooking Grand Lake, it wasn’t quite warm enough for her to venture into the pool, but it was perfect to just sit and watch the water and the occasional jet-skier zip past.

Nate left her to her own devices for what might have been a few hours before he joined her and started asking questions about what she’d like for dinner so that he could head to the store.

“You gonna cook for me, Dogg?” Valorie asked, tilting her head over the back of the chair so that she could see Nate properly. “What if I want risotto?”

There was a brief moment where it looked like Nate’s brain short-circuited before he collected himself and said, “I can offer you steak or chicken breast. Salad or vegetables.”

“So many options,” Valorie said, a small laugh in her voice, as she pushed herself off the chair. “If you cook the steak, I’ll make the salad.”

“Sorry, there aren’t more options.”

“Two more than I’d be able to offer.”

The admission didn’t seem to surprise Nate, who just accepted what Valorie had said without question—Mike and Amber had surely passed on a few things about Valorie’s time in Miami and the chef she had was one of their favourite thing to bring up.

Valorie used Nate going to the store as an opportunity to wander through the house. It wasn’t as large as she was expecting, so it didn’t take very long at all—especially not when she avoided Nate’s bedroom out of respect for his privacy. She opened every cupboard in the kitchen, just to make sure she knew where everything was kept, and then unloaded the dishwasher when it beeped at her incessantly. In the fridge was an open bottle of sparkling red wine, so Valorie helped herself to a glass on the balcony while she waited for Nate to return.

The calmness of Nova Scotia was something Valorie had forgotten she’d missed until she was back; even in the height of summer, with the excitement of the Cup coming back, she was more relaxed than she’d ever been in Miami.

When Nate returned Valorie greeted him with a big smile as she raised the wine she’d poured herself—her second of the afternoon—and he returned it without hesitation.

She continued to drink as they made dinner, her easy and boring salad taking no time at all, and Nate cracked a beer while he grilled and then opened a new bottle of wine for them as they ate on the balcony overlooking the lake as the sun slowly began to set.

Despite the view she had—she’d been staring at it all day, after all—Valorie couldn’t help but watch Nate as he ate, mostly scrutinising the lines of his face that were so much different to what she once knew.

“You keep looking at me like you don’t believe I exist,” Nate said. Valorie didn’t even flinch; another two glasses of wine making her particularly carefree.

“I don’t know if I do,” she admitted, sighing as she realised that even his voice had changed. “I’ve seen you on the TV and in photos and everything but for the past seven years the image of you in my head has always been you the last summer I saw you. You were a kid and now you’re a man and I really don’t know how to deal with that.”

“Yeah,” Nate agreed, his voice a lot softer and more serious than it had been. “I know. I get it.”

Amber and Mike came over to spend time on the lake not too long into Valorie’s time with Nate. It was a perfect day, which Valorie had come to expect, and being out on the Sea Doos was the perfect way to spend it.

It was nice to have company.

Nate had taken to visiting his parents’ house if he was going to see them. He always offered for Valorie to join him, but that felt like it was encroaching on boundaries she wasn’t even sure they’d set. She’d tried, though, to get him to invite them over only to be met with a shake of the head—maybe he was worried about different boundaries being breached. Valorie didn’t know.

Amber and Mike were good company, at least. Valorie was always happy that Amber had stuck by her even when she wasn’t around. Mike… Mike she could take or leave depending on the day.

“Why’d you really leave what’s-his-face?” Mike asked, apropos of nothing and a few beers deep.

Amber glared at him, though it went unnoticed. Nate sat up a little straighter and Valorie couldn’t work out if it was Mike-related or Nick-related.

“I already told you,” Valorie said, forcing a polite twinge into her voice even if she was dreading whatever might come next.

“Yeah, but there’s gotta be more to it,” Mike argued.

“Why?”

“I love this place, but if Amber wanted to move to, I don’t know, LA and never come back I’d do it in a heartbeat. And with the money you had? Easiest decision I’ll ever make.”

“He doesn’t want kids,” she relented, though it was not without steeliness as she tried to put a definitive end to the topic. “No amount of money was worth not being a mom.”

“That’s some serious self-control,” Mike said, shaking his head almost as if he was in awe. “I can think of a lot of things I’d give up for the life you were living.”

“It’s all Valorie ever wanted,” Nate said, his voice deep and low. “She was born to be a mom.”

Valorie’s gaze moved slowly to Nate as she replayed the words in her mind. He hadn’t moved from how he’d been sitting at the start of the conversation, hadn’t even looked away from Mike. She wanted him to look at her, to make eye contact to be able to get a read on him; to see if the skip it caused in her heartbeat was for an actual reason.

“It took you seven years with this guy to work out you were on a different page?” Mike asked incredulously, earning a half-hearted shrug from Valorie who looked back to him with hesitation.

“He said he was undecided. I loved him, you know? I was willing to wait it out in the hopes that kids would be on the table.”

Mike then agreed, “I’d wait seven years if I spent the entire time being a trophy wife.”

“It wasn’t about all the material possessions,” she snapped. “I know that’s what it looked like, but I’m upset you all think I’m a gold digger.”

“If the Louboutins fit,” Mike said with an eyebrow waggle.

“We know you aren’t a gold digger,” Amber said, finally, and firmly, contributing to the conversation, “or you wouldn’t have come back.”

Mike leaned back in his chair, pointed up at Nate’s house watching over them and said, rather loudly, “Right into Nate’s sweet digs.”

His loudness was met with silence, thick and tense, and the three people that stared at him didn’t seem to bother him at all.

“Do you even like me, Mike?” Valorie asked, tired.

“Come on, Val. I’m just joking around.” He added, after a hearty hunk across the back of the head courtesy of Nate, “I’ll cool it.”

The weather had turned quite quickly and quite dramatically—what had been the perfect weather the week prior had turned so miserable that Valorie was looking out the floor to ceiling windows as if her death stare could part the black clouds.

Nate was somewhere on the island doing something hockey related that he’d told Valorie about the night before while she was half asleep on the couch, so she was, once again, left in the house to her own devices.

A second car had appeared in the garage a couple of days after her arrival and Nate had assured her that she could drive it whenever she needed; Valorie was going to avoid driving it as long as she could.

The wine room was taking more of a hit than Valorie had expected when she’d joked with Nate about drinking it all; she had very few places to go, and her mother was more than happy to drive to Grand Lake to pick her up if there were family plans so she rarely had to drive, so the day drinking was getting more out of hand than she wanted to admit. It was a similar problem to Miami, she was realising, but Nate’s house wasn’t filled with quite so many time-wasting objects and there was only so much baking she could do when Nate rarely had any visitors.

Her response to the door opening had become Pavlovian, especially since being confined inside by the rain. Valorie was on her feet, pretending to walk to the kitchen to refill her glass of red, so that she’d be able to start a conversation with Nate when he walked in.

Only, it wasn’t Nate.

“Uh… Sidney. Hi. Nate’s not here. I’m Valorie—Val,” she said, all in a rush, putting her glass on the counter and desperately hoping she didn’t have red teeth.

“Nice to see you again, Val,” Sidney said, polite and friendly. “Nate told me to let myself in; he’ll be back soon.”

The shock and awe Valorie felt being around Sidney—Sid—had disappeared after exactly one summer of learning that he was nowhere near as cool as she had built him up to be. That being said, she had not expected him to remember her for a second.

“Do you want some cookies?” she asked, quickly, noticing that Sid was hovering uncertainly. “I made way too many.”

Sid smiled, nodded, and sat down at one of the bar stools on the other side of the counter while Valorie plated up an assortment of ginger snaps, Florentines, sugar cookies and Afghan biscuits all while trying not to let the wine she’d been drinking rattle her.

“Killing the boredom of being stuck inside all day?” Sid asked, drawing the plate towards him and inspecting his choices as if she was going to stop him at one.

“It’s what I do and what I’ve done for years now.” Valorie shrugged. “I drink and I bake.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I say that sounds… underwhelming.”

“Oh, no!” Valorie gasped instantly. “I mean, I got really into yoga and reading, too. I wasn’t just some boozy housewife. I love to bake, though. I could do it all day. Wine?”

Sid agreed to a glass, and Valorie pretended that she didn’t know he was doing it so she wouldn’t be drinking alone.

“Are you happy to be back here? Back home?” Sid asked around a not-yet-finished mouthful of ginger snap. “You’ve been gone a long time.”

It was, to say the least, unnerving to have Sidney Crosby—anybody, really—sitting across from her and calling her out for being gone. They weren’t friends, like Amber and Mike, or whatever else, like Nate, and she couldn’t wrap her head around why he would care to bring it up.

She took a healthy sip of her wine, savouring the taste for longer than was strictly necessary and said, “I was always trying to get back. It just never… It was hard to get away. I’m glad to be back.”

“I’m sure the island is happy to have you back,” he said, removing the unease in Valorie’s stomach flawlessly as he looked out over the deck to the lake. “Sorry the weather didn’t hold up for you.”

“It was nice for a while,” she conceded, following Sid’s eyes, “and at least it’s the same all day. I was really not impressed by Miami deciding there was a torrential downpour every afternoon after the perfect morning. Seven years there and I never got used to it.”

Valorie moved their conversation to the couch, carrying the wine with her while Sid carried the cookies he was slowly making his way through. She let Sid talk about his off-season plans, to what he’d already done since returning to Nova Scotia, noting that he was absolutely downplaying the vacation he and Kathy had taken and skipping over the extraordinarily nice or expensive parts. She loved Antigua, knew it inside and out, but was happy to let Sid tell her what he thought was appropriate—he may have been happy to ask her why she’d been gone so long but it was clear not much more information than that had made it his way.

By the time Nate was home—his definition of ‘soon’ stretching Valorie’s just a little—she was desperate to just be anywhere that wasn’t near anyone, not just Sid and the way he knew too much yet absolutely nothing. She excused herself within moments to use the bathroom, heading downstairs to her ensuite.

On her way down the staircase, she heard, the beginning of their conversation:

“Val was just filling me in on her time in Miami.”

“She really enjoyed it, right? It sounds great.”

“That’s… one way to put it.”

Walking through Halifax with Nate by her side was an experience. He’d mentioned it in passing, that people were more interested in him than normal, but Valorie hadn’t taken it to mean it was quite so relentless.

Kids wanted their jerseys autographed, everyone wanted a photo and every other person wanted to stand there on the street with Nate and listen to him recount his entire career from Bantam to what training he’d been doing since he got back to Nova Scotia.

Their trip into Halifax had been for no reason other than the sudden realisation by Nate that Valorie hadn’t left the house in an alarming amount of time outside of her new part-time job at one of the local hobby stores, so it wasn’t like the constant stopping was preventing them from doing anything in particular.

It was, however, resulting in Valorie entering a lot of stores that she otherwise had no intention of going into just so that people could gush over Nate. And at least one purchase of a dress she didn’t need.

One person who stopped them was a classmate from high school who stopped them to question Valorie about her disappearance just as much as she stopped to gush over Nate. Valorie didn’t even remember her name and the woman hadn’t taken the time to introduce herself.

“It’s so cute that you’re back for Nate, though,” she said. “I always knew you guys would end up in the same place.”

“Well, that place is home for us, so.”

“Oh, I know, but I heard all about you in Miami and obviously Nate’s making magic in Denver so it’s just nice to see you two in the same place again.”

“Yeah, it’s great,” Nate said, nodding even as he was subtly moving out of her way and directing Valorie in the same direction. “We’ve gotta head off, though. It was great to see you again.”

“Of course, sorry! You must be so busy! We should definitely catch up!”

There was more nodding and agreeing as they walked past her, Valorie checking back over her shoulder quickly in one last attempt to help her remember?”

“What was her name?” she asked Nate when they were well out of earshot.

Nate admitted easily, his face lighting up with a guilty smile, “No fucking idea.”

Valorie walked into him as she laughed, unable to control herself as it erupted from her mouth. Nate laughed, too, the guilt shifting from his face and they were holding each other up on the sidewalk as they struggled to breath.

The laughter continued, albeit subdued, as they made their way to the one thing they’d agreed upon getting: ice cream. It was an otherwise peaceful work, seemingly already having run into everyone who wanted a few minutes of Nate’s time.

Being out in public with Nate was different to being alone with him at home, Valorie noticed, and it was different to how they’d been as teenagers. He always carried himself with a confidence that was beyond him in years, almost a quiet arrogance as he always knew where he was going to end up—Valorie would have given anything to know when the arrogance disappeared. Was it because of the Cup win? His accomplishment proof enough that he was everything he ever said he was going to be. Was it seasons earlier when it didn’t look as clear?

At the ice cream shop, Nate ordered Butterscotch ripple and then laughed under his breath as Valorie ordered Maple Walnut.

“Why is that funny?”

“You’re so Canadian.”

Noting the children around, Valorie glared at him, mouthing ‘fuck you’ before she continued out loud, “I’m going to enjoy all the maple flavoured things. You can’t stop me.”

“I wouldn’t dare. I will laugh at you, though.”

They sat on a table out the front, Nate saying hello to a few starstruck kids as they did so.

“What are you staring at?” Valorie asked, her cheeks warming up under Nate’s watchful eye.

“Just wanted to see if you were still a psycho who bites their ice cream.”

Valorie made direct eye contact with him and bit into the top of her ice cream, causing Nate to shudder dramatically.

Halifax was bustling in a way that Valorie had never seen. The decision to not have the parade in Cole Harbor was purposeful, a clear differentiation from Sid’s parades and a nice thank you to Halifax for his time with the Mooseheads.

She made her way through the crowd unimpeded, even as she headed towards the rooftop she’d been told to head to near the end of the parade route, overlooking City Hall.

Nate had let Valorie know that it was where Sid would be, hidden out of sight—a decision he’d made himself. He hadn’t even relented when Nate, drunkenly, begged him to be beside him; Valorie was grateful that Sid had the awareness to decline.

Sid was already at the rooftop with Kathy, set up with a table, chairs and some food and drink to get them through the parade and the speech Nate was going to give after.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m here,” Valorie said sheepishly, unsure if Nate had told them she’d be there. “This is where they sent me.”

“More than okay.” Sid pulled up a chair from the group of them nearby. “You didn’t want to be down there with him?”

Valorie stepped to the edge of the roof, taking in the swathes of people lined along the streets. Sid and Kathy were both watching her curiously as she turned back to them and took a seat, putting Sid in the middle.

“It wouldn’t feel right. Nate and I aren’t anything, you know.”

“That’s not true, though, is it?” Sid asked. “Or you’d be in the crowd, not up here.”

Valorie froze in her seat, only her eyes moving to follow Sid’s hand as it disappeared beside him and came back with a cooler bag that he pulled wine from.

“Do you moonlight as a shrink?”

“For Nate, yeah, I feel like I do.” He carried on, no beats missed, “I don’t have red, will white do?”

It played in her mind as she drank her wine and ate from the platter that had been set up. Nate hadn’t offered for her to be by his side—she would have turned it down immediately even if he had—and when he’d suggested she sit with Sid it felt, to her, that was the next best thing.

She wasn’t overly talkative during the wait, choosing to just stare out over the edge of the roof at the other side of the street and the people who were in nearly chaotically good spirits. She was hearing vague parts of the conversations Sid and Kathy were having, and answering questions when asked, but for the most part she was lost in the magic of the Stanley Cup being back in Nova Scotia.

Valorie had been in Cole Harbour for Sid’s 2009 Cup Parade as a small and spindly 13-year-old, watching the Cup from a distance.

That morning she’d been able to run her fingers across the engraved names.

“Is it the happiest you’ve ever been?” Valorie asked, not even bothering to quieten her voice so that Kathy wouldn’t hear. “He doesn’t talk about it as much as I thought he would.”

Sid shifted his entire body to face her and Valorie immediately felt like she was about to get a talking to; she forced herself not to shrink.

“If you want him to talk about it you have to let him know he can. I promise you he won’t shut up about it.”

“Oh. Does he think I don’t care? That’s not true,” she said, worried. “I don’t want him to think I don’t care.”

The timing was on point for the parade to enter their vision, no longer just the distant sound of the band. Even as Valorie continued to think about the possibility that Nate didn’t know how much she cared about what he’d achieved, she couldn’t help but be delighted by the sight of Gabe and Cogs very, very drunk in the first carriage that came through.

When Nate came clearly into view, the Cup held high above his head, Valorie felt her heart swell and tears prick the corners of her eyes.

“It is,” Sid said, barely audible over the band and the crowd. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

Nate had a million things planned for the rest of his day; had a lot of people to introduce the Cup to. Long after he had disappeared from the parade and after the streets of Halifax started to clear, Valorie remained on the roof with Sid and Kathy, swapping stories until their skin was turning pink.

The fact that Sid remembered her, let alone willing to talk with her like an old friend, was still very much blowing Valorie’s mind but it wasn’t something she was going to draw attention to lest it ruin the chill vibe they’d settled into.

They walked to the bar where the party would really kick off, Sid easily blending into the small crowds still milling around Halifax—the occasional person shouting at him, at everyone near them, at the wind. The excitement felt like it was never going to leave.

Waiting for Nate felt like an age, somehow felt even longer than all seven years Valorie had been away. Maybe it was sitting beside an already very drunk Mike, or maybe it was the intense anticipation coursing through her because she knew that Nate could walk through the doors with the Stanley Cup at any moment.

Maybe it was that she was pulled into a conversation with Gabe Landeskog who looked only marginally more sober than he had in the carriage; the beers he was double fisting were sure to fix that.

“Long time no see, Valorie,” he said, his tone giving no indication whether that was good or bad. “All the way back at Nate’s first game, right?”

Valorie was hesitant to respond, and opted for an honest, “That was the only one I got to, yes.”

“He missed you a lot that year.” Gabe paused to drink from one of his beers and Valorie waited for the rest of the thought. “The year after, too, but different.”

“I missed him, too,” Valorie admitted readily; that wasn’t something she’d ever been shy about.

Gabe nodded at her, then raised his chin to say hello to someone who had just walked into the room—it wasn’t Nate, Val checked—and then put his beers down on the table between them so that he could collapse into the empty seat.

“It’s good you’re back together. He’s really happy about it.”

“We’re not—he’s happy because he’s done the one thing you guys aim to do. He’s beaten the final boss. The Elite Four were no match for you guys.”

“No, no, sure he’s happy about that.” Gabe insisted, “It’s a different happy now. A more complete happy.”

“I don’t think you’re making any sense. You should go drink some water.”

Gabe protested, downing one of the beers in a matter of seconds as if that would prove he didn’t need water. Her lip quirked up at the action, both from amusement and bemusement.

Nate finally walked in, well after everyone else was a few drinks in and getting rowdy. His arrival increased the already loud bar enough to make Valorie cover one of her ears while raising the other into the air as she joined the hollering.

Nate finally walked in, well after everyone else was a few drinks in and getting rowdy. His arrival made it worse in that the noise levels were high enough to make Valorie cover one of her ears while raising the other into the air as she joined the hollering.

He and the Cup were moved around the room like he was in a pinball machine, from person to person, from shot glass to shot glass, until at last he was in front of her. The Cup had been deposited somewhere else in the room and Valorie didn’t care enough to locate it; after all, she wasn’t there to see the Stanley Cup.

With a lack of hesitation that couldn’t even be passed off on any drinking she’d been doing, Valorie threw herself at Nate, overcome by the need to make sure he knew she cared about what he’d achieved.

Nate wasn’t immediately ready for it, Valorie’s arms around his neck as she pulled him closer, but he soon realised what was happening and moved his arms around her waist to pull her off the ground.

“I’m so proud of you,” she said, breathless and rushed into his ear. “You’re so good at—at hockey and at knowing me and at taking care of me. But hockey, Nate. I want to hear all about it, okay? Probably tomorrow so I can appreciate it, but I do. I watched it. All six games. I cried I was so proud of you. I am so proud of you. You’re so good.”

“You watched?” he asked back, his warm breath brushing over her own ear and causing her to pull back with her head tilted and her face contorted.

“Yes, Nate. Of course. I thought you knew. I didn’t think I had to tell you.”

Nate pulled her back in, his face buried in her neck. The room may as well have been empty with the way all of Valorie’s senses honed in on Nate—he’d showered before coming, put on cologne that made her head spin, and his warm breath fanned across her neck which made the spinning worse.

If a loud, roaring round of applause hadn’t broken out, Valorie could have stayed pressed against him all night. As it were, though, she pulled back in a dramatic fashion and put a reasonable distance between them before contributing to the clapping—putting gross enthusiasm into it.

Nate laughed, then made a few embarrassed gestures of acknowledgement, before accepting a beer that was being handed to him.

Valorie disappeared, leaving Nate to be bounced around the room again, and hid away with Amber and Mike. They were good and spoke to their other high school friends, all of whom were surprised to see Valorie in the flesh. Luckily for her, the Cup was more than enough of a distraction from any of them asking her what she’d been up to while she was gone.

As the night grew later, it became very clear that Nate’s long day was catching up with him. He was trying, valiantly, to be the last person kicking at the bar, though his demeanour was getting progressively testier as time passed.

“I’m gonna head out. Do you want to come or stay?” she asked, brushing her hand gently over Nate’s shoulders.

“You’re leaving?” he asked, sullen, his arm snaking around her waist and pulling her towards his chair. “You should stay.”

“Amber’s driving me home—if I leave you here can you get home?”

“You should stay,” he repeated, eliciting a laugh from the group he was sitting with.

Valorie laughed with them and ran her hand over his head, insisting that she was leaving whether or not he was coming with her. He hummed, resigned, but let her go so that she could follow Amber outside.

Valorie waited against the wall outside, her head resting back against the cool brick, while Amber went to get her car—Mike went with Amber, mostly because Valorie refused to be the one responsible for him keeping to the sidewalk and off the road.

The door opened and Valorie turned her head, expecting to just wave to somebody as they left, and was surprised to see Nate stepping out.

“Everything alright? You coming home?” she asked, reaching out to him without a second thought. Nate went to her easily.

“I’m going to stay for a bit longer,” he said, standing in front of her. He wasn’t boxing her into the bricks but he was definitely close enough that it wouldn’t take much at all to get there—Valorie thought it would be nice if he did.

“Why are you out here, then?” she asked, her fingers resting in his belt loops.

“I need to…”

Nate didn’t finish his sentence, just lowered his head little by little. Valorie tilted her chin up, pushing back against the wall to get a bit more height.

He wasn’t the same Nate she’d kissed at eighteen—he was broader, bigger in every sense and it was intoxicating to be pressed against the wall by the Nate she’d come to learn. In her mind she was expecting desperation, a need to make up for lost time. It didn’t come, though, and yet Valorie still felt lightheaded when he broke their kiss.

“Will you be in my bed when I get home?”

Valorie scoffed, a little disappointed, “Nate.”

“Not for like—I just want you there. I always want you there.”

She breathed out an “okay”, and kissed him again before sending him back inside to be with his lingering friends.

When he was gone and her head was clearer, Valorie opened her eyes and jumped off the wall at the sight of Amber’s car in front of her and Mike hanging out the passenger’s window.

She pushed Mike back into the car on her way to the backseat, asking before she even sat down, “How long were you there for?”

“Saw it all, babe,” Amber said, beaming into the rear-view mirror. “Never been happier to roll up on two people hooking up outside a bar.”

Valorie knew the second she woke up that things were different. The most immediately apparent difference was the snoring coming from beside her, accompanied by the warmth of an arm over her waist and a chest pressed against her back. Even the mattress underneath her felt different.

Then there was the fact that Nate had kissed her the night before, the catalyst for the other changes she supposed.

It wasn’t a bad different was her first major takeaway, and she relaxed back into the mattress. She couldn’t just lay there forever but she could for a little longer and enjoy the all-encompassing presence of Nate.

She had a fair idea of what time he usually woke up but couldn’t translate that into what might happen when he was hungover—which he was sure to be, and she couldn’t begrudge him that—so after lying in long enough that an ache started to settle in her sides, Valorie pulled herself out of Nate’s embrace and decided to start making breakfast.

Nothing fancy, of course, but she could whip up bacon and eggs and put some pods in a Nespresso machine without too much hassle. She hoped that the smell of food would wake him up, whether he was up to eating it or not and her hope was fulfilled when he wandered out while she was eating her own plate.

“You told me you couldn’t cook,” Nate said, dropping an easy kiss onto Valorie’s head as he passed her to the kitchen.

“I can use a fry pan.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

Eating across from Nate, with him smiling at her in a way he hadn’t since her return, was exactly what Valorie had been after and hadn’t known. Listening to him tell her all about the things she’d missed when he was off doing Stanley Cup things and filling him in in return. Everything he said was perfect and when he moved into telling her about the Cup win itself—“You have to do it again so I can be there.”

“I’ll give it my best go.”

Valorie grinned, picturing it all in her head. She held the image in her mind as she cleared the table and it all came crashing back down when she looked at Nate over the kitchen counter as she realised that their future relied on them talking about the new state of their relationship.

“We probably need to have a conversation or two,” Valorie said hesitantly, eyeing Nate over her coffee to check for any reaction at all. When he didn’t so much as blink, she added, “It’s just been like… six weeks and I don’t actually know what we are to each other.”

He wasn’t pleased, mumbling, “Do we have to have that conversation?”

“If we’re going where I want us to, then yeah, Nate.”

That caught his attention enough to have him properly look at her, no longer buried in his coffee. His question came slow and unsure, yet simultaneously hopeful, “Where do you want us to go?”

“I want us to be together again.”

His previously wary face transformed into a smile, small and barely noticeable. Valorie smiled back at him as she continued to drink her coffee. She didn’t know how to start whatever conversation it was that they needed to have—conversations were one of their strong suits as teenagers, Valorie was able to frame things in the perfect way or ask just the right questions to get Nate talking.

Just as she was trying to come up with a way to get him talking, Nate was the one who spoke first.

“Why’d you move to Miami with him?”

Valorie froze. It made sense, in hindsight, that Nate would be the one leading the conversation when she was the one who’d left, and yet it was still like being doused in cold water to have the question asked of her so directly.

She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, and provided the simplest explanation she had, “I thought I was going to marry him.”

“I thought you were going to marry me.”

“Obviously that didn’t happen, Nate.”

“Yeah,” he said, because it was entirely obvious that it hadn’t happened and the look on his face showed that he didn’t like to be reminded of it. “And I’m still trying to work out why.”

“Nate, it was seven years ago.” She added, stressed, “We were kids.”

“I still don’t know why you broke up with me, Valorie.”

“Valorie?” she all but screeched, her full name coming from his lips sending a horrible quake down her spine and through her body.

Nate powered on, “You broke up with me and you left and to this day I don’t know why that was.”

“I wasn’t happy, Nate.”

The abrupt silence was worse than the conversation. Valorie sat there, wishing she could take back those four little words—she would if she’d known just how instantly Nate would close up.

His entire face, which had at least been showing his unhappiness and discomfort, was no longer telling her a single thing about how he was feeling. Except with that, she knew exactly how he was feeling.

She opened her mouth, ready to try and do damage control, to try to take it back so that he wouldn’t look like that, except not a single word came out.

Nate beat her to it, though, the sadness gone from his face but still very present in his voice. “Why didn’t you talk to me? I know that the long distance wasn’t great—why didn’t you talk to me?”

“None of it was your fault, Nate,” Valorie stressed, reaching across the table towards him even though he was out of reach. “You were the best thing I had going at the time. I couldn’t keep a job and I couldn’t continue with college because I kept failing the classes and I needed to leave so that I could work on all of that and not drag you down with me.”

“Did it work?”

“Yeah, over the next twelve months I learnt a lot, I grew a lot. I actually was going to ask if you wanted to try again when we were both back here the next summer, but you brought a girlfriend.”

“Rachel.”

“She was lovely,” Valorie said, truthfully.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?”

“And fuck up the thin hold you had on your mental health by dragging you down with my problems?”

“Breaking up with me and then ghosting me did a pretty good job of that.”

Valorie finally pulled her hands back to her lap, knowing that that one sentence was a sure sign that Nate wasn’t going to hold them. Him leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest made it even clearer.

She didn’t know what to say, no amount of explaining was going to be enough and she didn’t want him to think she was making excuses. At the time it had felt like the right thing to do, breaking up with him without any real reason, in the years that had past she’d come to her own realisations that maybe it wasn’t.

Nate’s voice was gruff when he asked, “When did you meet Nick?”

“The first year I was gone…” Valorie said with a sigh. “Sometime in early 2015. Before I came back that summer. We weren’t together at that point because I thought… I thought we—” she gestured between herself and Nate “—could try again. But you know…”

“Rachel,” Nate filled in, uncrossing his arms.

“Rachel. So I went back to Miami, I found Nick because he’d been good to me while I was there but we’re here now anyway. You and me.”

He nodded, still expressionless. Valorie’s leg twitched under the table, up and down repetitively, as she tried to will herself to let Nate be the next person to speak.

“You and me?” he asked, after a long silence.

“If you still want me.”

Nate sighed, pushing his chair back and standing. Valorie watched him, worried that he was going to walk away from the table—from their conversation. He walked around the table towards her, though, and Valorie didn’t have to be told to stand and meet him halfway.

Nate didn’t have anything special planned for his birthday, much to Valorie’s horror. He was going to see his family for lunch—with an invite extended to Valorie which she was more than happy to accept. She couldn’t help but laugh when she arrived and saw Sid and Kathy sitting at the table on the back porch.

“You’re almost like a second father,” Valorie joked, in lieu of a proper greeting. “You’re just everywhere. All Nate’s big moments.”

“I’m really not that old,” Sid argued.

“I was thirteen when I watched you bring the Cup to Cole Harbour. That makes you pretty old.”

He scoffed, “I turned 22 that year.”

Valorie hummed and nodded knowingly, “Old.”

She watched him roll his eyes, noting the affection on his face, and moved on to greet Kathy properly.

It was, otherwise, an uneventful lunch. Valorie was appreciative of the invite, more than pleased to finally be with Nate’s family—back with Nate’s family, and being treated as if she’d never left in the first place. Her smile was ever present, only growing as she watched Nate shift uncomfortably while Happy Birthday was sung at him. Especially when she knew she was going to sing it at him again that evening.

They stayed there until late in the afternoon and Valorie tried not to let her impatience show because she liked spending time with his family, with Sid and Kathy, but she had plans for dinner that she didn’t want to mess up. Nate knew, though, at least vaguely, so they left early enough that Valorie could relax.

When they got home, she banished him to his bedroom so that she could start to cook and set the table with the fancy table setting she’d bought the day before. She was meticulous about their dinner, returning to the recipe far more than was probably necessary to ensure that it was exactly how it needed to be, and felt a true sense of pride as it all came together.

“Can I come back out?” Nate asked, still hidden behind the wall.

Valorie looked around her, taking in the pan she was using and the cleanliness of the kitchen before she told him that he could.

He bypassed the set table, walked straight towards her, and peered over her shoulder to see what she was cooking. His laugh was gentle and sincere.

“Are you making me risotto?”

“I’ve been practising,” she admitted. “When I went to Amber’s the other day we did a test run and it was actually pretty good!”

She giggled as Nate pulled her back from the stove and turned her around, kissing her so sweetly that she nearly melted into a puddle at his feet.

The whole shop stood still, except for the large bouquet of roses that was being walked to the counter; a deep red expertly pruned and assembled. Valorie knew exactly who they were from before they had even reached her.

Everyone huddled around the vase, customers included, as it was set down on the counter in front of Valorie. She knew who they were from without even looking at the note they came with, but there was a sudden hush when her co-worker read out the note on the card: Happy Birthday, mi amor. Love always, Nick.

“You sure that says Nick?” one of their customers asked—Valorie vaguely recognised her from school, though she was positive they hadn’t been in the same year. “Not Nate?”

“I mean—”

Valorie snatched the note more aggressively than she’d intended, saying, “Nick is a friend.”

The side eyes she got from both the customer and her co-worker were far from subtle but Valorie just buried the note in her pocket and carried the vase into the back room.

They—like everything Nick bought her—were gorgeous. He had somehow managed to send her the most perfect roses from Florida and she didn’t want to think about how much money had gone into them. Every day with Nick was filled with unnecessary luxuries and that only increased tenfold on her birthday.

Until the roses came along, Valorie’s day had been uneventful. She woke up early enough for her half-day shift at the hobby store—granted to her by her boss who was horrified that she hadn’t already asked for the whole day—and discovered that Nate was already awake and making her breakfast, and he planned on driving her into Halifax.

It was the most thoughtful gift she’d received in years.

He picked her up after her shift—and after her co-worker tried not so slyly to ask more questions about the roses—and Valorie was met with a bouquet of flowers as she opened the passenger’s side door. She rushed to sit in the car, pushing the vase of roses between her feet on the floor and reaching for the pink hydrangeas Nate held.

“Oh, they’re beautiful,” she gushed, hugging them to her chest as she inhaled. “Did you have to ask someone about my favourite flower or did you just remember?”

Nate mumbled, “Remembered.”

“I can’t believe it, that’s incredible.” She leaned across the centre console to kiss him and got his cheek when he turned his head but she was too distracted by the flowers to notice. “Should I look into the meaning behind these or are they just beautiful?”

Nate started the engine, keeping his eyes firmly on the road in front of him, and Valorie tried not to read into his tense jaw. Or the way he moved his hand to the steering wheel when she tried to hold it over the gearshift.

“Who did the roses come from?” he asked as they pulled into his garage after a painfully silent car ride.

She answered, cautiously, “Nick.”

“How does he know where you work?”

“I don’t know? Insta? I don’t care about the roses, you bought me hydrangeas.”

Nate only said, “okay” before he got out of the car and left Valorie sitting in it by herself. She watched him walk into the house with slumped shoulders and an aching chest before she tried to manoeuvre herself out of the car with the vase of roses and the very large bouquet of hydrangeas.

She put the roses on the kitchen counter and then scoured Nate’s cupboards for a vase so she could put the hydrangeas at the centre of the dining table. She passed Nate on the couch as she walked to the stairs, leaning down to kiss the top of his head and thank him as she did so.

Valorie tried to put it to the back of her mind as she got ready for her birthday plans—Amber had planned a whole afternoon and evening for her and Valorie had been planning her outfit for a week. It wasn’t going to be as extravagant as anything she’d done in Miami, which she’d assured Amber was more than fine, but it was her first birthday in Nova Scotia in years and her first birthday back with her best friend so she was going to make the most of it.

Putting it to the back of her mind worked well until she ascended the stairs and saw that Nate hadn’t moved from his position on the couch.

“Amber and Mike will be here soon—are you ready?”

Nate sunk further into the couch, his arms crossed tightly over his chest and his chin nearly buried into them which led to a mumbled, “I’m not really feeling it; you have fun.”

“You’re not feeling it?” she asked, hating the way her voice cracked in time with the crack in her heart. “It’s my birthday?”

“You go have fun,” he said, still into his arms. “Don’t worry about me.”

Valorie had never felt more pathetic, standing behind Nate when he wouldn’t even look at her, dressed up in one of the nicest she’d brought with her from Miami and had taken so much care with her make-up—not dressed up entirely for Nate but she definitely wanted him to at least look at her. Maybe even appreciate the effort she had gone to.

“Nate, I—I want you there,” Valorie said weakly, moving closer to him to see if she could get him to turn around. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want to go out again today.”

Valorie gave up with one last desperate look at Nate and she walked immediately through the front door to wait on the doorstep for Amber and Mike. She wasn’t going to cry about it, even if the furious blinking was barely stopping her—before Amber and Mike pulled up she pulled on her sunglasses and took some deep, centring breaths.

When Amber and Mike did pull up, this time with Amber hanging out the passenger’s side window and jumping out to pull Valorie into a tight hug as she screamed Happy Birthday in her ear, Valorie’s smile was genuine.

At least, it was until she climbed into the passenger’s seat at Amber’s insistence and they sat in the car for a few moments in silence.

“We can go,” she said, hoping that the crack in her voice wasn’t noticeable to anyone but herself.

“What about Nate?”

“I don’t want to talk about Nate.”

“I’ll fight him if you want me to,” Mike offered, completely sincerely, reaching down to unbuckle his seatbelt. “Can’t promise I’ll win but I’ll give it a go.”

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him and I don’t want to think about it for the rest of the day.”

Not thinking about it for the rest of the day was much easier said than done. It put a clear damper on the mood despite the smile Valorie was forcing into her face. For a few blissful moments she did forget, was able to just enjoy the company she was with and the drinks in front of her—and then it all came crashing back down on her with a heartbreaking thud.

Amber tried to talk about, to get an explanation as to why Valorie was upset and Nate wasn’t around and each time she was shut down by Valorie repeating that she didn’t want to talk about it and that she just wanted to enjoy her birthday.

There wasn’t much enjoyment happening, though, with Valorie staring morosely into every rum and coke she was drinking. They’d had Happy Hour cocktails, eaten some of the best steaks Valorie had ever come across and moved on to another bar to continue their night—it was everything Valorie hadn’t realised she missed and it was still being ruined by Nate.

Amber tried again, waiting until Valorie’s glass was empty, and Valorie reacted by standing up and saying that she needed some fresh air. When Amber tried to follow her, Valorie insisted that she was going alone.

Although Valorie had decided to go outside just to get away from any more questions, the fresh air did help. She hadn’t quite realised just how much the alcohol had gone to her head until she was confronted by the breeze coming off the river.

She rested her forehead against the cool bricks of the external walls, her arms crossed above her head, and counted her breaths in and out.

“Val?”

Valorie whipped around, her forehead and forearms scraping against the bricks, and was met with Nate’s concerned face.

“Thought you didn’t want to come out again today,” she said tersely, inspecting her forearms quickly and cringing at the grazes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, readily, without prompting. “That’s pretty up there with the most asshole things I’ve ever done.”

“You made me feel like shit.”

“I know. I didn’t—I’m sorry. I don’t have any excuse that’s good or justified.”

Valorie shuffled her feet, getting to the point where she was regretting her heels, and lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.

“I’d like to make the rest of your birthday better,” Nate said, visibly shrinking in and making himself smaller and less intimidating. “If you’ll let me.”

“I really don’t feel like I should forgive you, you know?” she huffed, throwing her hands in the air.

“Okay, that’s fair. I can go home.”

She sighed, “No, I don’t want you to go home. I—I’m really happy you’re here even if you weren’t before.”

The corner of Nate’s mouth lifted tentatively, “Yeah?”

Valorie nodded, and broke the rest of the tension between them by stepping into his space and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She relaxed into him, at the feel of his arms around her and the smell of his cologne filling her head. It was going to warrant a conversation, she knew that, but if she could enjoy the rest of her night she would do just that.

She led him back into the bar by the hand, having already been subjected to a brief twirl as Nate told her how good she looked, much happier and lighter than she had been when she’d walked outside.

Valorie, never one to be held down by a hangover, woke bright and early the next morning. Nate was still dead to the world beside her, a pillow pulled over his head to block out whatever noises he’d heard that she hadn’t.

It was bright outside when she left his room with her clothes bundled in her arms, unable to lie there and wait for him to stir, though the clock near the staircase told her it wasn’t even seven.

She had a quick shower—the hot water tap barely turned—and changed before she went in search of her bag, keys and phone and left a note on the kitchen counter for Nate that she was heading out but wouldn’t be long.

The roses had never left her mind, not with the weirdness they’d caused, and seeing them standing tall and proud on the kitchen counter made her know that she was making the right decision.

She wrote another note, tucking it into the flowers and made her way to her parents’ house to leave the roses and the note on their doorstep.

Mom, I think you can take better care of these than I can. Love you xxx

The round trip didn’t take overly long, so Nate wasn’t moving about the house when Valorie returned. She made herself a coffee and sat on the balcony, the caffeine working in combination with the slight breeze to keep any hangover symptoms at bay.

“Where are the roses?” Nate asked, startling Valorie when she hadn’t even heard the door slide open.

She waited until Nate was sitting sidewards on the recliner beside her before she said slowly, “With my mom. She loves roses.”

“You didn’t have to get rid of them.”

“I’m not attached to them… They were clearly making you uncomfortable, so it’s fine.”

Nate hummed, then said softly, “Thank you.”

Valorie smiled at him, grateful for the admission no matter how vague. She stood up, only to sit back down on Nate’s recliner after moving him so she could sit between his legs and relax back into him. She reached for his hands and wrapped his arms around her body.

She didn’t expect him to say anything else, happy to push the conversation they had to have to later in the day and just enjoy a quiet morning. Nate didn’t have the same desire, though.

“A guy doesn’t just send you roses on your birthday if he’s not trying to get you back.” He was speaking into her hair and if he hadn’t been so close Valorie wouldn’t have heard him at all.

She squeezed his arms and said, “If I was going back to him, I would have any of the half dozen times he’s already asked.”

She hadn’t mentioned it to Nate—to anyone—that Nick was sending things to her parents house, not many, but enough that she’d had to call him to put her foot down. The earrings he’d sent that matched the bracelet she’d been wearing the first time she’d seen Nate back in Nova Scotia were the final straw there. She’d never worn them and hadn’t put the bracelet back on, even though it was her favourite piece of jewellery.

Nate’s hesitation was evidence enough of his worry and was only amplified by the way he was holding her close and still speaking into her hair. “He’s not wearing you down?”

“Not in a good way. He seems to think that if he throws more money at me and reminds me of the life we had together and the future we could have; that I’ll just forget that I want kids.”

“Promise?”

“Remember that conversation we had? After the Cup Day? It’s you and me. I’m not going back to him.”

Nate’s forehead came to rest against the back of her head; Valorie could feel his relieved sigh.

The summer was dangerously close to ending. Valorie was counting down the days until she and Nate got on a plane to Denver, excitement and trepidation filling every ounce of her body and only getting more and more intense whenever she saw him.

There was something on her mind, though, the cause of the trepidation. A question she’d been holding onto for far longer than she intended and a question she knew she needed to ask before they left for their new life together—it couldn’t be another conversation that happened after the fallout.

Nate had just finished up his last training session with Andy, and Valorie smiled at him and only briefly cringed when he leant down to kiss her despite the sweat rolling off his body.

Andy followed Nate in, greeting her happily, none the wiser to her inner turmoil—though how could Andy be if Nate didn’t have a clue? He said goodbye to Valorie, that he’d see her when Nate was back in Canada, and she waved at him as he left.

She sat on the couch, staring blankly at the television, and listened to the shower in Nate’s ensuite turn on. With a quick inhale and in an unexpected moment of courage, she decided to join him.

“What a surprise,” Nate smirked, watching Valorie drop her clothes as she entered the bathroom.

The water was nearly unbearably hot though she didn’t falter, immediately wrapping her arms around Nate. He followed suit without missing a beat and Valorie relished in being able to rest her head against his chest and hear his steady heartbeat over the water.

“What’s brought this on?”

“You did an interview a few years ago and I can’t forget it,” Valorie said, taking a deep breath. She was thankful that the shower was hiding the wetness in her voice. “That you don’t like kids? And I—I need to know if that’s still true before… I don’t know.”

“I was never sure about having kids, I’ll be honest,” Nate said, slow, measured, and most definitely confused. “But I always knew that if I was going to have kids it was only going to be with you.”

“Okay. That’s—okay.”

Her relief was immeasurable—she had known it was causing her a lot of inner stress but to have it roll off her shoulders was nicer than she ever could have imagined.

“I love you.”

Valorie pulled away from Nate’s chest, blinking through the fall of water over her face, another sigh leaving her body. She pressed up on her toes to kiss him, unable to express herself in any other way.

Please consider leaving feedback—reblog and write in the tags or send an ask, I’m not fussed. I just want to know what you’re thinking!

tag list: @fallinallincurls @spine-buster @2manytabsopen @xcicix @sorryjustafangirl @senditcolton @shinyfalcon4 @guesswhoispathetic @laurenairay @ripepeach @jarmorie

add yourself to the tag list

#nathan mackinnon fic #nathan mackinnon imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #homemade fic #the winter fic exchange 2k23 #fic: Avs #one shot

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unapologeticallygay · 17 days

Text

Gay TV Show Firsts

On February 9th, 1971 the first explicitly gay character “Steve” appeared on television in season 1 episode 5 “Judging Books by Covers” of the American sitcom All in the Family. This episode made its mark by portraying the opposite of the flamboyant stereotype of gay men (that the main character and best friend of Steve held to believe) by representing a gay man who was the complete opposite: masculine, tough, and a former football player. These attributes lead president at the time Richard Nixon to call out the show for “glorifying homosexuality”. Prior to this there were some coded and repressed gay and lesbian characters, but it was not as clear as to them being homosexual as it was on All in the Family.

The first same sex kiss ever on television was in Australian soap opera The Box in the first episode which premiered on February 11, 1974. The character Vicki Stafford (right) is canonically bisexual.

The American sitcom Hot l Baltimore which ran on ABC for one season in 1975, beginning January 24th, featured tv’s first gay couple, they were also main characters. There was much controversy for this at the time and the couple was not allowed to show any physical intimacy. There was also a viewer discretion warning at the beginning of each episode to warn for “mature themes”.

On February 7th, 1991 legal drama L.A. Law featured the first same sex kiss on American network television in the episode “He’s a Crowd”.

Controversy and support erupted and some advertisers removed their advertisements from the broadcast, while GLAAD praised the episode. One of the actresses reported that the kiss was a ratings ploy with no intention to explore a lesbian relationship. Both characters ended up with men.

This episode gave birth to the TV trope “lesbian kiss episode”, where a typically one off episode character that was a lesbian or bisexual woman would kiss a heterosexual female main character, played for shocks, laughs and ratings boots and is never mentioned again or explored further.

On October 20th of that same year Fox’s sitcom Roc featured the first gay wedding in season 1 episode 8 titled “Can’t Help Loving That Man”.

Writer of the episode Jeffrey Duteil said the audience was overwhelmingly supportive and that the network “couldn’t be more pleased” with how it turned out.

The first gay sex scene on television was a bit hard to confirm but I believe it to be from the original UK Queer as Folk which began airing February 23rd, 1999 and ran till February 22nd, 2000.

The US remake of the show which ran from December 3rd, 2000 - August 2nd 2005 was the first American show to feature gay sex. Both shows were very groundbreaking for their explicit portrayal of it.

#lesbian history #gay history #lgbtq #lgbt history #queer #all in the family #the box #hot l baltimore #l.a law #roc #queer as folk #tv/mov/docs #semi long post

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thefrontofmymind · 1 year

Note

hiii i love your instagram prompts! idk if you take requests but i'd love if you made one where y/n is the lead singer of a band opening for the 1975 on tour :)

supporting artist!reader x matty healy instagram blurb

(FC: Pomme)

a/n: hey so i had a not-so big brained moment and forgot this request asked for a lead singer of a band but i hope it's still okay. requests are open and any feedback is greatly appreciated. kisses!! xxx

nmemagazine Who is yn? This up-and-comer has made quite a splash in the past year and it seems only up from here! Between securing a supporting spot on The 1975’s ‘At Their Very Best’ Tour, just about to embark on their UK & Ireland leg, as well as a heavily anticipated debut album just months away, we’re sure you’ll want to keep an eye on her! More info at the link in our bio!

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ynfan1 so proud of her!!!!

1975fan1 she seems so cool! so excited for tour!!

ynfan2 gahh!!! i remember when she would play venues for like 100 people and now she’s touring with the 1975!!!

yninstagram alexa, play she’s leaving home by the beatles (sidenote: couldn’t be more excited for the next month or so <;3)

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ynfriend don’t be too long!!

>yninstagram you know i couldn’t go without you!!!

ynfan1 SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU IN EXETER!!!!!

ynfan2 so prettyyyyy

ynfan3 mother is mothering so hard rn

pollymoney buzzing for you to join us xxx

>yninstagram me too ! x

yninstagram Brighton, you were beautiful, I just wish I didn’t rip my favourite pair of pants minutes before I had to go on stage. Xxx

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ynfan1 I was there!!! You did amazing!!!

>yninstagram thank you dear xxx

1975fan1 i’d never heard of her before last night’s show but i was impressed! you got a new number 1 fan!

ynfan2 can’t wait to see you!!!

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yninstagram via stories:

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ynupdates yn performing in Exeter! tonight she made a speech at the end of her set to introduce The 1975: “I want to thank you for listening and letting me perform here tonight, but I know you’re all not here for me. So I’d like to introduce the one, the only–my bosses–The 1975!”

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ynfan1 she was so good!!!

ynfan2 she’s so sweet!! My new fav artist!!

1975updates “Did you see yn before? She’s pretty cool–very talented…She’s also pretty hot which is great on tour…She knows this I told her.” -Matty tonight about yn, the supporting artist on their UK tour.

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1975fan1 ah matty healy, trying to get cancelled since 1989

1975fan2 ok but likeeee why could i see them together???

>ynfan1 no bc ur so right

1975fan3 ok matty’s got a new girl time to lay down in a busy intersection

ynupdates yn went live on instagram this morning!! she was hanging out with Polly from The 1975’s band!

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yn1975fan1 ok but yn and polly as besties,,,,,a dream come true

>yn1975fan2 ikr they’re so cute!!!

yn1975fan3 the way yn knows all the words to the sound and sung it flawlessly on the live…iconic behaviour

ynfan1 did anyone see when yn was asked if she heard what Matty said on stage and she was like ‘of course! he tells me like every day’ i ship them so hard!!

>ynfan2 literally!!! And she got all smiley and giggly after too!!

yninstagram tfw u hit ur face on the headboard see u tn o2 xxx

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pollymoney you scare me babes

>yninstagram dw abt it babes

ynfan1 omg are you okay????

>yninstagram yeah honey just a minor nosebleed xxx

ynfan2 how did you hit your face on the headboard??

>yninstagram got a lil too crazy ig 🤪

trumanblack nice ;)

>1975fan1 mATTY SKJHGSDKUYDOS

ynupdates yn tonight in London!!

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ynfan1 she seemed so happy tonight!!

>ynfan2 ikr!! She was so smiley for the whole set!!!

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trumanblack via stories:

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1975updates tonight in Glasgow, yn joined the band on stage to sing Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America!! It’s the first time since the song was released that it has been performed live!

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yn1975fan1 did yall see how cute yn and matty were????

>yn1975fan2 when they hugged at the end of the song and he kissed her head?? I DIED

1975fan1 just about sobbed when they sang this

yn1975fan3 ok but between how cute yn and matty were on stage and their ig posts on tour does anyone get the vibeeee

>ynfan1 i ship them so hard

yninstagram mon bonheur xxx

TAGGED: trumanblack

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trumanblack xxx

yn1975fan1 sHUTUP I CANT BREATHEEEEE

yn1975fan2 OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!

1975fan1 welp,,,time to jump in front of a bus

yn1975fan3 idk who I’m more jealous of

yn1975fan4 my PARENTS <;33

#matty healy x reader #matty healy imagine #matty healy blurb #matty healy request

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beefromanoff · 5 months

Text

Going Under Ch. 27

summary: the team has had enough of the lovebirds so they take a little getaway back to the city!

characters: Bucky Barnes x OC

soundtrack: About You - the 1975

warnings: fluff, pop star fantasy x love story, set in an AU where the Avengers reunite after Civil War, pre-infinity war, slight angst, hurt/comfort, lonely reader/OC.

author’s note: okay OKAY this is big, I'm so sorry for the delay! for a while I was getting multiple chapters up in a week and it's taken me like two weeks to finish this one! partly because I wanted to let the last one simmer and didn't know how to follow it up - partly because life was crazy! I had a birthday and was off doing who knows what, but I'm BACK! thanks for the patience and all the loveeee! enjoy!

chapter list

________________________________

“That’s it. I’m moving back to New York.” Sam declared, pushing back from the table. “I’m about to stab myself in the ears.”

“Oh come on, it’s not…horrible.” Steve looked at him apologetically as the sound of a headboard against a wall interrupted him mid-sentence.

A collective groan rang out around the table, Natasha dropping her hand onto her hands and Peter sliding his plate away slowly. It had been just over a week since Gianna and Bucky had officially consummated their relationship and the whole compound knew about it. Those unfortunate enough to share a floor with them had it the worst, hearing the evidence of their passion up to three times every day. Bucky hadn’t helped with training in several days, at Steve’s insistence. When two recruits came in early to get warmed up for their training session and found Gianna pressed up against a wall, legs wrapped around the Winter Soldier himself -- they decided the extra sparring wasn’t worth it. It was an unspoken rule to avoid the dock altogether. What was the setting for their first real kiss had since become a favorite lovemaking spot, especially at sunset.

As much as everyone preferred not to hear the chorus of moans during breakfast, not one person was unhappy about their relationship.

If anyone had experienced more than a lifetime’s worth of pain, it was James Buchanan Barnes.

If anyone had brought color back to his life, a smile back to his face…it was Gianna Cruz. She’d charmed everyone she’d come into contact with on the compound, everything about her oozing genuine sweetness.

They deserved this. They deserved each other.

Everyone else, however, couldn’t help but wonder what the hell they did to deserve this front row ticket to a downright pornographic soundtrack.

“Mornin.’”

The team looked up from their discarded plates, snapping out of whatever daydream they were using to escape reality. Bucky strode towards them, tugging a shirt down over his stomach. His gray sweatpants didn’t leave much to the imagination, especially with the recent excitement not fully out of his system.

“Sleep well, princess?” Sam called from his position leaning against the counter. Bucky narrowed his eyes, regarding him as though deciding if he wanted to growl something back. He settled on something more peaceful.

“Fine.”

“Funny, because I could have sworn I heard you up around 2am.” Nat smirked.

“Now that you mention it,” Wanda pretended to scratch her head in confusion. “I think I heard that too. Or was it 5am?”

“You guys can joke all you want, but I have the room right below them. I might actually need therapy.” Peter deadpanned.

Uncharacteristically quiet amidst the team’s teasing, Bucky poured himself a mug of black coffee and leaned against the counter across from Sam. He sipped the hot drink, looking mildly amused.

“Isn’t this the part where you tell us to shut the hell up or you’ll chokeslam someone out a window?” Sam cocked his head.

“Something tells me he did enough choking last night.” Nat’s smirk only grew.

A half smile played across his face, stubble growing longer than usual from his lack of shaving over the past few days. He said nothing, sipping his coffee again.

“Well? Anything to say for yourself there, Barnes?”

“You guys sound bitter.” He grinned. “You all need to get laid.”

_________________________________________________

Gianna’s POV

“Hurry back!” I called from the tangled mess of comforter and sheets, admiring the view of Bucky’s lower back as he disappeared through the door, still pulling his shirt down. My stomach growled. I’d been utterly ravenous lately. Something about sleeping with a super soldier, you’re gonna burn a lot of calories. Thank God my bedroom was close to the kitchen.

Our routine for the past week had been pretty simple. Eat, sleep…fuck.

Well, it wasn’t always fucking. Sometimes it was sweet, gentle, soft. Something that could only be considered making love. Other times…

“Bucky…” I giggled as his hand slid up my shirt in the dark, empty training room.

“It’s okay, we’re so early. Sessions don’t start for another hour.” He grinned, gripping my waist and lifting me up. I couldn’t help the little squeal that escaped me. His hair was still slightly sweaty from his morning run, the smell of him almost intoxicating.

“If you say so, Sarge.” We walked backwards as he kissed me, holding me up as if I was weightless. I wrapped my legs around him, wanting to be as close as possible every single second of every single day. When my back gently hit the wall, I felt cold metal fingers slide underneath my skirt, searching for panties to pull to the side.

I wasn’t wearing any.

Bucky groaned into my open mouth, fumbling with his own waistband instead. In a flurry of sweaty kisses and desperate grips, he was inside me. Right there, up against the padded training room wall. I cried out, biting my lip to keep quiet as our sounds echoed through the empty room.

My fingers tangled in his damp hair, my head falling back as he kissed my neck, my collarbone. I was putty in his hands. He was so strong. So steady. He held me up with one hand, the other cupping my face as I moaned. He never broke his steady, desperate pace of thrusts into me.

It sounded like somewhere far away where a door opened and someone sucked in a sharp breath. I was somewhere between utter bliss and intense pleasure and quite honestly didn’t give a shit who saw. When the door slammed behind whoever it was as they fled, I laughed into our kiss until my laughter was drowned by the peak of pleasure he always made sure to give me.

“Miss me?” Bucky breezed back through the door, two steaming mugs in his hands. He handed one to me as he slid back into bed with me.

“Always,” I sipped the coffee, not caring that it was bitter and black. I just needed something to stop the growling in my stomach. “Were they mad?”

He grinned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, Buck,” I elbowed him. “It’s been over a week since we’ve been at breakfast, or any meal…I feel bad.”

“Want me to make you feel good instead?”

“Bucky Barnes!” I gasped in mock offense, ignoring the unironic flutters in my stomach.

“Don’t worry about them.” He stroked a strand of my undoubtedly messy hair behind my ear. “Besides, they won’t have to worry about it for a few days.”

“Hmm, and why is that?”

“I thought we could go up to the Tower for a few days. Just us. It’s not like they’re going to miss me in training anyways, clearly they can get on just fine.” Bucky sipped his coffee. “It’s been a while since we’ve been in the city, and we haven’t really ever been…alone. The tower will be empty for a few days. I figured, I mean if everyone wanted, I thought they could fly out for Thanksgiving later this week. There’s a great view of the parade from the balcony and I thought -”

“Yes.” I couldn’t help cutting him off. He over-explained when he was nervous and as adorable as it was, I couldn’t wait a second longer to tell him how much I loved his idea. “James Buchanan Barnes, that sounds completely and utterly perfect.”

He smiled, shoulders relaxing slightly. “I was hoping you’d say that. We leave in an hour.”

_________________________________________________

The Quintet sailed through the night sky, its sleek form navigating the clouds effortlessly. Seated in the co-pilot's chair, Gianna watched the blur of terrain below, marveling at the view as Bucky guided the aircraft towards New York.

"You know, you're pretty hot as a pilot." she remarked with a grin.

He grinned, his eyes fixed on the horizon. "This is one of the more difficult flights I’ve had."

“Really? Why?” Her brows furrowed.

“Because I need to keep my eyes on the sky, but all I want to do is look at the girl in the seat next to me.”

Gianna's fingers traced the edge of the console as she blushed. Her gaze rose to the miles of red and orange forest that stretched out before them, soaking in the beauty that was fall in the Northeast.

"So, smooth talker, what's the plan for our little New York adventure?" she inquired.

"I figured we'd keep it simple. A stroll through Central Park, see the leaves before they fall. Maybe get dressed up in honor of our first dinner outside the bedroom in eight days. And, of course, a visit to that coffee shop you like so much."

Eyes crinkled in adoration, she responded, "You remembered."

"There’s nothing about you I want to forget." He removed his hand briefly from the control panel to squeeze her knee.

"You're smooth, Barnes." She grinned, hugging her knees to her chest in the bucket seat. “But I never said I was ready to stop eating all of our meals in the bedroom.”

Bucky cocked an eyebrow at her, grinning. “As you wish.”

As they talked, the Quintet flew past the blur of colored below, emerging towards the industrial hues of the city. Bucky guided them through the familiar skyline towards the impossible to miss Avengers’ Tower. Gianna watched the buildings fly by beneath them, fully at ease whenever she was with him. As they descended onto the landing platform that was nearly in the clouds itself, she couldn’t help but feel like the city had never been this colorful in all the years she’d lived here alone.

_________________________________________________

The soft glow of the city's night seeped through the curtains, casting a muted radiance in the room. Almost the entire day had been a blur, with their bags dropped on the ground within seconds of the elevator doors closing behind them. They’d collapsed to the ground in a mess of kisses and hands and laughter.

Lovemaking.

After dozing off on the criminally soft carpet, they’d settled into Bucky’s room. Somehow, after offering to pour them some wine, Gianna found herself bent over the bar where she had drunkenly kissed him a few months prior.

Fucking.

After a long, steamy shower, they’d decided it was best for them to go out. Get out of the house, if only to preserve their bodies from the ravenous desires that didn’t seem to be slowing down.

Finally, Gianna emerged from the bedroom, fastening her second earring. She was adorned in a dress that flowed around her, a dark green that pulled a sparkle from her eyes. Standing up from the barstool where he waited for her, Bucky let out a low whistle.

"Wow," he remarked, offering a half-smile. “You look…wow.”

Gianna grinned, a hint of blush coloring her cheeks. "Has it been that long since I brushed my hair?"

He extended his arm. "Shall we?"

She chuckled, slipping her arm through his. "Lead the way, kind sir."

The stepped into the elevator and Gianna didn’t hide her gaze as it raked over him. A simple black dress shirt with black slacks, hugging him in all the right places. As much as she loved him with bedhead, he looked so damn handsome with his hair tucked behind his ears. As they reached the bottom, she noticed something different – one of Tony's vintage convertible sports cars gleaming in the front circle drive.

"Is this...?" she began, eyes wide.

Bucky nodded, a mischievous glint in his eye. "A classy ride for a classy lady."

Gianna laughed, genuine surprise lighting up her features. "I…wow. I didn’t expect this.”

"I’m full of surprises," he replied, a smirk playing on his lips as he opened the passenger door for her.

As they settled into the plush leather seats of the car, Bucky turned the key, and the engine purred to life. They glided through the city streets, the wind tousling Gianna's hair. It was warm for November in New York, but the breeze gave her a chill nonetheless.

"So why the car tonight?" she asked, watching the city lights streak by.

Bucky glanced at her, a playful grin forming. "I thought it would be good to remind ourselves that we can have a normal night out. No security, no fanfare. Just two people enjoying each other's company."

Gianna smiled, the simplicity of the sentiment resonating with her. "Normal sounds nice."

"Besides," he added, a hint of mischief in his eyes, "I don’t think you need security considering the company you’re in."

She laughed, leaning back against the seat. "True, although I’m more concerned about fangirls coming after you than me these days."

Bucky steered them into the valet circle in front of one of Gianna's favorite restaurants, an Italian place on the edge of town. A soft Frank Sinatra song greeted them as they parked, and he offered Gianna his arm once more as he helped her from the vehicle.

"Ready for a calm, normal night out?" he asked, his gaze steady.

"As long as the night in afterwards is anything but," she replied, her sultry smile a direct contrast to the sweetness of her face. She could have sworn she heard a low growl escape his lips as he held the door open for her.

_________________________________________________

The soft hum of conversation and the clink of cutlery against fine china surrounded them as they enjoyed the cozy ambiance of the intimate Italian restaurant. Candlelight flickered, casting warm shadows on the walls as they savored the last bites of their meal.

As the server cleared their plates, Bucky took a sip of his wine, eyes never leaving Gianna. "You know, you're even more enchanting under this light."

Gianna grinned, her eyes sparkling. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Barnes."

He chuckled, leaning back in his chair. "I don't need flattery. Maybe just a bit more wine."

She lifted her wine glass in a mock toast before downing the rest of her glass, never breaking eye contact.

Their playful banter melted into a comfortable silence as they browsed the dessert menu. The restaurant's atmosphere, the classic love songs softly playing over the speakers, the warmth in Gianna’s stomach from the wine…all of it yielded to a moment that seemed to suspend in time.

Bucky broke the quiet, his tone soft but sincere. "I…I never thought I'd find someone who could pull me out of the shadows. Gianna…you saved me in ways I didn't know I needed saving."

Gianna reached across the table, her fingers finding his. "And you, Bucky Barnes, have saved me so many times I lost count. You saved me from people, from circumstances. But even more than that…you saved me from feeling alone in this world. I've traveled to so many places, performed in front of countless crowds, but it always felt like I was on the outside looking in. Until you." She squeezed his hand.

Their gazes held, a silent acknowledgment of the confessions they’d both laid bare. The restaurant's soundtrack of old-school ballads seemed to underscore the emotions in the air.

Bucky stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "I thought I could feel this way. After everything. I didn’t think I could feel so...alive." He shook his head, looking down. “I’m sorry, I’m not as good with words as you.”

Gianna's eyes softened, and she smiled. "Funny, I was thinking the exact opposite. You make me feel alive, too.”

He raised his glass with the hand not holding hers. “To feeling alive.” Their glasses clinked, the last of their wine not holding a candle to the intoxication from the buzz between them.

_________________________________________________

The car purred to a stop in front of the Avengers' Tower, its vintage frame a testament to another time. It was perfect for her forties’ man, with all his charm, Gianna thought as she leaned comfortably against Bucky's shoulder in the seat. The afterglow of their dinner date still lingered as they pulled to the front circle drive. The familiar sight of a small crowd greeted them. Fans, recognizably holding posters and notebooks, mingled with the ever-present paparazzi, their cameras flashing like strobe lights. Gianna shared a glance with Bucky, her expressive eyes conveying a mix of humor and a hint of apprehension.

Bucky extended his arm to Gianna as they stepped out of the car, a subtle nod of solidarity exchanged between them. To their astonishment, the clamor for autographs and attention was almost evenly divided between the pop star and the previously polarizing Winter Soldier.

A group of young girls, their eyes wide with admiration, eagerly held out notebooks and printed photos for Bucky to sign. Gianna, ever the good sport, grinned at the irony of the situation. Just as she predicted, with his rugged charm and a hint of vulnerability, Bucky was attracting just as much attention from the fans as she was. He paused, looking at her apprehensively. Gianna nodded in encouragement, releasing his arm so he could sign the various things being thrust out to him.

The paparazzi, relentless in their pursuit of a scoop, bombarded them with questions. Gianna, accustomed to the circus of public life, fielded inquiries with her signature grace and media training. "Oh, you know, just enjoying a night out in the city." She flashed her dazzling smile, patiently waiting for Bucky to finish.

Bucky, a stoic figure in the midst of the whirlwind, focused on signing autographs. The paparazzi, sensing an opportunity for a more intimate story, decided to push their luck.

"Sergeant Barnes, any truth to the rumors that you and Gianna Cruz are more than just coworkers?"

Bucky, without missing a beat, shot a look at Gianna, his blue eyes carrying a hint of playfulness. "Did this look like a business meeting to you?"

A ripple of laughter ran through the crowd, the tension momentarily diffused. Gianna winked at him. "He's the best bodyguard I’ve ever had. Very committed to his job."

The crowd chuckled, appreciating the banter between the unlikely duo. The paparazzi, determined to get a headline, persisted. "But seriously, all those nights on the road, living at the compound…it must make for blurred lines!”

This time, Bucky hesitated for a split second, narrowing his eyes at the personal question. He ignored it and went back to signing for the giddy teenage girls.

"Gianna, over here! How was the date?"

"Is it true you two are a couple?"

"Mr. Barnes, are you falling for the pop star?"

The questions came rapid-fire, but Gianna, well-versed in the art of dodging personal queries, maintained her poise. "Can’t go wrong with a meal at Avanzare’s, I highly recommend the lasagna."

Bucky, however, wasn't as accommodating. As fans clamored for autographs, Bucky's only half of his attention was on them, keeping a close watch on Gianna the entire time. No one dared step closer to her with the intense look in Bucky’s eye challenging them. Gianna, fully at ease, smiled and engaged with the fans.

Then came the question that altered the script. "Bucky Barnes, the Quarterback for the New York Jets recently went on record saying he was, and I quote ‘absolutely in love with Gianna Cruz. Do you have any comments for that?"

Gianna rolled her eyes. Another celebrity she’d never met, name dropping her on a late night show in hopes of going viral. An old, tired PR trick. Bucky, distracted from the question by his split focus on the fans and Gianna’s safety, spoke candidly.

“Yeah, he can join the club.”

The revelation hung in the air, a collective gasp from the crowd. Bucky, realizing what he had admitted, turned to Gianna. She stood there, a mixture of surprise and giddiness on her face, mirrored by the expressions of the onlookers.

"I..." Bucky spoke slowly. “I am so…unbelievably, uncontrollably, stupidly, insanely in love with her.”

His words were hanging in the night air as he blindly tossed the sharpie he was holding back to a fan and stepped to Gianna. She was beaming so widely her cheeks hurt.

“It’s about time you said so.” She spoke softly. “Here I’ve been, hopelessly in love since the first week of tour.” He looked down at her, running his fingers down the back of her arms. Goosebumps erupted in their wake.

“I’m sorry. I love you. I’m in love with you. I don’t care if the whole goddamn world knows it.”

In a flash, he scooped Gianna up, spun her around and kissed her. Without setting her down or breaking the kiss, Bucky walked into the front doors of Stark Tower, the facial recognition somehow allowing them in despite their faces being pressed together.

The paparazzi seized the moment, their cameras clicking furiously. The fans, witnessing a real-life drama unfold, erupted into applause. The reporter who’d asked the question blinked, still processing what had happened.

"Well, that's a headline I didn't see coming."

#bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #avengers #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x oc #bucky fluff #winter soldier #sebastian stan #winter solider x reader #winter soldier fluff #bucky barnes smut #winter soldier smut

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