#i genuinely dont think a single person has been even vaguely into me since my last boyfriend

[enigmaticdiary]

i am rewatching episode 1 for rewind the tape :) I've seen the pilot probably around 20 times at this point but I've only watched it by myself.... once! so for the first time since my first time watching it alone, im gonna do it again with a head full of knowledge of the iwtv book and the full season. and im turning off captions so it's less reading and more watching and close observing for me >:D

Below is a liveblog!

WARNING: I FUCKING LOVE TO TALK AND POINT OUT USELESS THINGS ON EVERY SINGLE THING I SEE. THIS POST IS GOING TO BE A MILE LONG. Also im still not great at putting my thoughts together.

hmm. I would read molloys book on kaposi sarcoma and hiv/aids. i love how well the fake book covers and this advert are put together because so many times I've been asked by friends who i showed the show to if it was an actual commercial LOL.

THE PIC ON THE BACK OF THE BOOK GOING FROM LUKE TO JUST AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF YOUNG ERIC BOGOSIAN? LMFAO. The casting is genuinely so perfect in this show. hehe i like how well the passage of time is depicted through the book covers too, not just in. the photos for daniel obviously but for the aesthetic styles of the covers. the cover they made for "the internets gavel" is sooo mid 2000s. I love the attention to detail for these things on screen for less than a second because it gives a fool like me something to look at and praise simply because the detail wasn't overlooked.

"hate and ashbury" man this is such a good title too. simply because im looking at it and sifting out details it's such a good way to get even more insight into molloy's character. while I don't need to get into a history lecture of haight-ashbury, it tells a lot because it was a historically hippie neighborhood in the 1960s and the birthplace of the counterculture movement, it says a lot for molloy especially seeing the previous three fictional books he wrote about, being hiv/aids crisis, the politics of climate change in the United states, the governments attempts at putting stricter regulation on the internet... I could get into how this connects with molloy's character more in relation to his desire for vampirism but i am barely over a minute in and I've been typing for 15 minutes now!!!

"Preparing For An Interview" NO WAY. GUYS!

No no no i will not pause every 10 seconds and try to connect the thematic dots of everything being presented to me. I need to save that for the video essay im writing!

louis' beautiful handwriting❤️

i dont know why daniels scrunched up face is so fucking funny to me.

Jesus okay watching this without captions is actually really difficult for me i see why i need them all at all times. If im not rewinding because i keep fucking pausing im rewinding because I didn't understand a fucking word i just heard. Despite seeing the episode 20 times.

Hmm.. What personally redemptive accomplishments could louis be referring to..?

UUGGGHHHHHHJJJJJJJJHHHHHHHHHHHHHFHHHH sorry Louis on screen and i started tearing up. Hello armand goodbye armand.

Yah.

Do you think louis goes on twitter sometimes.

Yah?

COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COVID MEDIA!!!!!!!!!!!

Louis has changed... The only big change he's mentioned between Interview 1 and now that I can recall off the top of my head is that he stopped killing in 2000. I wonder why? I wonder many things

Truth and reconciliation....

Armand being concerned with daniels editor seeing/hearing what was said. I am vaguely aware of the theory that armand has possibly been up to mindfuckery with both louis and Daniel and i can only wonder if this has been mentioned to buoy that theory. To control the narrative.? Hmm... but why?

I know Daniel was annoyed by louis calling him "boy" but i think it's kind of cute. Even with nearly 50 years passing by, the old human is still young to the vampire who has lived going on twice his lifetimes. I am not 10 minutes in and I have been typing for 40 minutes!

FUUUUUUCK sorry. louis

I have no commentary on louis introducing. LESTAT. sorry, not him. On louis introducing new orleans and his the place he inhabited in it. I think its pretty self explanatory and explicit, yeah?

BRICKS❤️❤️❤️❤️

Oh my god the fucking "Oh—goddamn." upon seeing fenwicks diarrhea dick is Ao fucking funny. Louis acting like he would actually have a problem seein a dick or too. Probably would have a problem seeing fenwicks tho (unshitted on). I don't disagree there. Maybe the poop camo is for the best....

Yiu can't be saying that racist jake the dog

Id stick my finger in fenwicks wound and see how deep itd go.

Hi paul

The lord told me to cum. Sorry im 5 years old

Paul punching louis is genuinely so fucking. LESTAT AND HIS FUCKING GOOFY ASS HAT OH MY GOD!!. Sorry. Paul punching Louis was so fucking funny to me because I know that if they were not on that street and were at home or something they would be SLUGGING each other until grace has to pull them apart. Then hug it out :) Idk is this how siblings work im pretty much an only child

I keep having to google words help. HELP. NOT ME HAVING LOOKED UP "PULPIT" ALREADY AND APPARENTLY COMPLETELY FORGETTING WHAT IT MEANS.

Immediately another word I have to google. Im not gonna say I'm stupid for not knowing these words, i did not grow up with the church as closely as others...

i do think a lot about the pointe du lac household before their father died. like. A lot. Theres so much in that brief interaction mentioning him. The sugar cane, the hospital, the Diversion.

Ill never forget the first time i rewatched this ep After learning about the mayfair witches and seeing this scene and being like: GASP! OH MY GOD! ANNE RICE REFERENCE! IT'S ALL CONNECTED!

Paul is so fucking funny like the shade he's constantly throwing, please take a break LMFAO

hng. (louis)

Googling words again. Hmmm the internalized homophobia yes yes i see. Sorry need to google another fucking word. Oh. oh louis...... Ok I can see how my mom picked up on louis being gay so fast. I am a smart boy but my vocabulary is pathetically limited so "big" words going over my head made what should've been pretty obvious be absolutely indecipherable to me. Sorry for being stupid (im not)

I am 17 minutes in and I have been watching and typing for an hour!

Louis: everyone in here is white so its easy to pick out who's gonna call me a nigger to my face and whos gonna do it behind my back

Sir..... Mister....

Hes here

Microaggression 1

TWO.

THREE.

FOUR?

LESTAT CONTINUOUSLY HITTING ME OVER THE HEAD WITH BRICKS

His hair looks like shit

IM. GOING TO KILL HIM. Dont worry louis get behind me.

YOU GONNA FALL VICTIM TO THIS MAN WHOSE HAIR GOT CAUGHT UNDER THE IRON?

Oh my god Leswirl de lioncourt PLEASE PLEASE I CANT TAKE THIS. Actually started growling out loud and said "Shut rhr fuck up, oh mt God.!!!"

IVE EMPTIED A BANK VAULT SAMPLING. S. AJSHKSKSJZMSMS PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP OH MY GKD. PLEASW. ISNSSMJAKSNSMSJAJZMSUAUBZNZ

Lestat put your ears away, please.

Me, watching this for the first time at the age of 20: Is this gay...? No... it can't be. They would put gay in a show...? For real? (in denial and scared of being queerbaited despite the most explicit homosexual overtext)

MISS CARROLL THEYRE HAVING A DICK MEASURING COMPETITION.!!!!!!!

Unfortunately lestat did kind of serve there but throwing his dick down on the table embarrassing louis like that in front of miss carroll and lily was evil and racist somehow And he should be sentenced to 40 good slams in thr head with a brick

If paul didn't punch louis none of this would be happening

Lestat: God i love to troll

Who the devil you say.? Well...

Oh lord louis' face card sorry didn't mean to moan like that. I saw a maj so beautiful I threw up evrrywhere

Hmm. The racism

FUUUUUUCK LOUIS IS SO CUTE I NEED TO KILL MYSELF!

Lestat needs to put his ears AWAY he looks so bad with his hair that short.

What IS this insane time freezing trick lestat is doing? God when im actually giving myself a chance to really absorb myself in the show that scene is actually pretty fucking scary LOL

I NEED TO DIE I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHIOT ME IN THE FUCKING HEADA

Lord have mercy the sheer SEX in his eyes as he looks at louis' neck. I nedd to die

Paul..... I need to kill myself for emotional reasons not related to loustat

Egypt reference! Wow! Gabrielle allusion ! "The means to make my way to paris" Ok well what if i

I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD AT HOW HARD I LAUGH AT PAULS SCENES. steven norfleet does such an amazing job in this role.

SAVAGE GARDEN!!!!!!! GUYS!!!!! B

Hooray! The scene that changed me literally Forever. Whatever, man.

Ykung violinist

lily and lestat circling louis like two lions descending on a zebra.

I had a dream about this scene once. I will not br elaborating.

Dude.

GUYS. SEX IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Guys.

God thid is so fucking crazy

Unfortunately this part does make me giggle especially having to see these two men floating naked and seeing sams fat ass Im about to start crying again

I wish vampires were real

Insert joe biden yelling faggot I don't have it on hand and i don't want to pause for 20 minutes to find it

MY FAVORITE SCENE EVERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAUL AND LOUIS TAPDSNCING SO CUTE AARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The fact that thus scenr eas really all them, being jacob and steven, its so awesome.

WHEN THE BLACK JOY! And then thr Black suffering. Ok guys 21st time is a charm Im praying really hard I THINK I CAN STOP PAUL FROM JUMPING THIS TIME!

This is one of those scenes that really seperates black viewers from nonblack viewers because the way some of my nonblack friends have reacted to florence blaming louis has made me so insanely embarrassed.... I don't know how to explain it. But the shame from a black parent... especially the mother. I don't know. It breaks you in a different way than anything else. Theres a lot of nuance I want to say but I don't have the time or brainpower or expertise to word it properly so please just take my emotional response to this scene at face value.

sorry but lestat just openly asking during the funeral service where they got pauls coffin from is CRAZY.

Breaking finns arm was also crazy as fuck. Like would hs have done that if louis didn't get angry as fuck at him just then. Unfortunately knowing lestats character now seeing louis get mad like that probably made him hard as fuck and thr only way he can deal with it in the moment is to break that mans arm. Sorry I love how ar the beginning of this post i was like super into the nitty gritty and the details bjt then it just turned into me making fun of lestat and how hard he definitely was in like every single scene he was in

God. the pain.

Killing lily was in fact extremely racist and misogynistic of lestat. He should be stabbed many times for this

God.

Ok scene two that permanently changed me

Sorry to that poor stunt double that got knocked out then.

What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. Unfortunately one of the hardest lines ever

No commentary. Hard to say things about this scene cause its just so good, man.

Oh my poor ashy grey blood deprived louis

Watching this scene with headphones on is crazy

GOD. GUYS. I LOVE SHOW. DID YOU GUYS KNOW I FUCKING LOVE SHOW???!!?? Pack it up guys This is one of the best pilots in tv history

To wrap up this post, it took me about 2 hours and 20 minutes to finish the first episode. I spent twice as long watching it BECAUSE I LOVE TO FUCKING YAP!

#iwtv show #vampterview #oh no i just realized that when i was re-editing this post to make more additions i overwrote one of my previous edits so its not there #anymore... #it was the scene of lestat at the dinner :( #Basically i said: This scene is so scary #and that sam is a really good actor. And both him and jacob have installed a passion for acting in me #And of course I was laughing at how funny paul was

[whaleofatjme1920]

hi, els 🥰 i love how innovative your writing is (can i use that word?? I just feel like your fics are always really fresh sjksjksjk) this is a half request kinda thing and it's okay if you dont do it ofc but i figured I'd give it a shot since requests are open and you're willing to write for tall reader (BLESS) but can it be (characters of your choice) x a tall reader who talks big but is actually the most submissive person known to man? I'm trying to narrow down on characters but there are so many good ones you write for so i figured I'd let you chose and pray that you dont find it too annoying haha. Thanks!

Masky, Ghost, Ezio Auditore, and Miss Pauling with an “All Bark no Bite” SO

[GN!Reader, i don’t really describe any body for this one. Kept purposely vague.]

[Warnings: general smut. Slight degradation, more praise. Body worship. You know the drill. MINORS DNI]

[AN: you’re too entirely sweet to me, thank you!! you mentioned I could choose and forgot literally every fandom I have ever written for!! It’s rough out here when I choose. Anyways here’s this <3 sorry it takes me ungodly long to do these I’m so busy these days. ALSO it’s just a garden variety of characters that came to my head.]

Reblogs are appreciated!

Masky

Did you know he’s actually kinda short for men? He’s like 5’6-5’7! I’m keeping that here for this. So let’s pretend you’re 5’11 nearly 6’, just know you’re what people consider tall regardless of perceived gender.

Gods the playful arguments you two get into. It becomes unbearable at times. You have the most cocky personality a proxy has ever been gifted it’s UNREAL.

But he knows your secret. In the bedroom, you like being babied in a way. He’s gotta be your dom, always topping, making sure he treats you so well. You’ve even caved once due to his sickeningly sweet condescending words and called him ‘daddy’ just to get him to finish inside of you.

It’s such a pretty sight to see you on your knees sucking his cock like there’s no tomorrow. You’re allowed to use your teeth but just BARELY. And his praise is so good. You let him up so bad in public as you stand over him and talk huge game but one look from him in private and you’re melting.

Masky enjoys having that sense of power over you. It’s hot. He makes you worship his cock and you’ll do it because you’re a good pet, aren’t you? Of course you are. Be good pet and suck. Take it nice and slow, careful of your teeth! That’s right. Whole thing.

Ghost

Don’t know how it’s possible but you’re near his height. That doesn’t happen often. While his ego is… he does have an ego, he manages to hide it kind of. Well, he’s classy with it. You, however? Absolutely not. Ghost does like to hear you talk because he loves thinking of all the ways he’ll break it down later.

Sparring with him is fun, enough said. You bring such good energy, give him a genuine run for his money but he knows how you crumble behind closed doors. He can see you pinned underneath him, nails dug into his back as he pushes so deep inside of you that you can’t think of anything but how he fills you.

Will admit for him, it’s nice to have an equal in height partner because it’s easier to kiss you and just,,, be with you. People who are shorter make some positions really hard to do comfortably. Regardless, he’s still going to pick you up and manhandle you. He knows you like it.

Loves hearing you beg for him, especially after a really long day of you egging him on. You’re kind of a brat and think you can get away with it because you’re physically similar to him but that’s so far removed from the truth. He’s bent you over his lap and spanked you before, watching you heat up and pout as he disciplines you.

Some people have the idea that you top but literally nothing could be further from the truth. He tells you a single command and you’re doing as he asks in a heart beat. His voice makes you melt completely. That and somehow, he makes you feel ‘small’. Not in a bad way, but sexually, like you’re too delicate for him to handle.

Ezio Auditore

Will admit i think Ezio has a thing for tall people. Something about legs here. Anyways he loves the way you boast in the sense of “gods I am putting you in your place later.” He allows you to act the way you do because it makes everything else after so much better.

He’s not really mean about it like others might be? He’s a very loving dom. He utilizes his praise to make your head spin and pin you under him. It’s quite easy for him to love you. The first time he was with you he was very surprised you weren’t the dom you portrayed yourself as. The fact you were a flustered mess just from him pushing your head down to suck his cock made him chuckle.

He’s very amused at how you fold right under him. He really does love bending you like a lawn chair. Your legs drive him crazy in the best way. He will spend forever between them. Him and his oral fixation. Out of everyone here, he’s the most sugary sweet and so prone to loving you rather than taking you down a peg.

Though, that isn’t to say he won’t discipline you if you get too boastful or what have you. He’s a daddy dom. Come on, look me in my multiple eyes and tell me he isn’t. Has a daddy kink. He’s daddy.

Loves when he marks you so everyone knows what happened the next day. While he loves marks for himself personally, during those lovingly disciplined sessions, he won’t let you mark him. It’s a whole thing between the two of you-a sign of his intimacy with you and that you’re all bark and no bite. In this case, literally.

Miss Pauling

She’s actually kind of similar but in the opposite sense. While I don’t think she’s that short, I think she’s around 5’6-5’7, people see her as timid/demure/a doormat (she’s not) but she’s actually very dominant. She’s a really smart lady, so when you come in acting like you’re god’s gift to the universe, that you’re the one that tops, “this guy (you) fucks” energy, she sees right through that act.

And she’s right. She’s entirely right. The first night you guys sleep together, she’s got you buried between her legs for way longer than she’s had anyone there because she wants to prove a point: you’re a people pleaser at your core. If she asks you to jump, you’ll then ask how high. Your dominant nature in public is all a front and she knows.

To be fair she does like it. You flirt so blatantly and boldly with her, but she knows. She knows. Miss Pauling also likes the body worship you can give her, focusing on her breasts and hips. But she’ll also do the same for you because she knows you’ll melt.

Giving praise to you is very easy. You obey her so well! She honestly expected more of a brat from you but you do everything she asks when she asks and more. On the off chance she has to discipline you, she’s so teasing. Loves to edge you and deny you your orgasm because how dare you disobey? You’re so much better than that, sweetheart.

She’s also very similar to Ezio I’m not having you mark her but she can mark you. She’ll put on her favorite lipstick, or if you’ve been especially good, let you choose your favorite shade and she’ll cover you in her lipstick kisses. You may not wash it off, they come off naturally unless she says otherwise. If people ask, explain. Go ahead. Use your big words. She’s looking up at you, how you tower over her, and smirking due to the influence she has over you.

#minors dni #masky x you #masky x reader #masky headcanons #ghost x you #ghost x reader #simon riley smut #simon ghost x reader #ezio auditore x reader #assassins creed x reader #miss pauling x reader #miss Pauling Headcanon #tf2 x reader #tf2 x you #creepypasta x y/n #creepypasta x reader

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

#21

I took like 750 earlier and my days on days of constantly popping pills has brought some kinda shitty side effects. This is a a bit tmi but i figure it would be something that I'd wanna keep track of now. But uh I can now go a whole day without taking a piss. I really gotta work keeping hydrated. I was already chronically dehydrated when I wasn't taking dph but my already not enough water intake with pills that slurp up any and all moisture is definitely not helping. It got so bad that I physically couldn't cry. I'd be in the motion of it but no tears would come. Tho if I'm being real I'm prolly gon do another 500 once it gets a little later. I'm stressing stressing and I just want to pretend nothings wrong for a while. I'm gonna chug hella water in the meantime tho

Warning in advance this post is really long. Both the aftermath and notes are extremely extensive due to me fr fr going through it rn. I figured I'd rather have an overly detailed note that most'll skip but might help one person feel normal than a vague/quick explanation that doesn't give enough info to be of use to anyone genuinely struggling

This is gonna be a long aftermath section cause there's actually a lot I need to explain but if you don't need/want specifics the tldr would be

AFTERMATH

-I think I'm jaundiced rn. I'm not entirely sure as if I am or I'm just looking too hard but I've had previous issues with excess bile so it's a real possibility

-Hella dehydrated. Excessive crying and a high dose has made it a lot worse in a shorter amount of time. I can't cry again due to how little water I have in me

-Appetite has been hugely varies day by day but lately I haven't really been wanting/remembering to eat. It has been damn near 24 hours since I've ate last and even then I didn't eat much. I feel sick cause of it

-I don't feel overly sickly tho. I feel pretty much normalish considering everything that went down last night

The rest of this is a lot of rambling but those points are the general jist of it. Definitely read if you're curious about how all that happened.

....or if you wanna see me whining about R's partner for the probably 50th time now.... T^T

Soo I ended up taking 600/650 (dont remember which) after I was crying for so.. sooo long. I was crying so hard that I gave myself a headache and my stomach/chest kinda hurt from me trying to hold back from sobbing too loudly. I eventually stopped once I had to go upstairs for some toilet paper cause my nose... yuck.. I literally never cry for long enough where that's an issue but I was sulking one second and that SPRINTING up the stairs the next. The shit was threatening to fall out my nose and like... it was either gonna fall on me or my bed or my floor... basically my snot was tryna play flee the facility and while I was in a shitty mood, I was not in a bad enough mood to chill with snot all over me

Though I don't know what possessed me in that moment but I took a video of myself while I was up there. You could clearly see my red ass eyes and my puffy eyelids. I will confess I do kinda like how I look after I cry cause of the puffy thing but I mean. Usually I would have the common sense to know no one else is gonna see it that way so there is literally 0 point to try and take pictures like that.

Sorry slight tangent. I bring all that up cause when I rewatched the video, I noticed that my skin looked a little off. I've been breaking out for a few reasons lately and I was picking at my skin for a bit out of stress. So when I watched the video and it was like.. smooth looking I was kinda like ?? my camera must suck ass. Thats weird

But today I looked at it and I feel like I looked glowyish which was strange. I was just sitting there like, it aint even like shiny glowy I'm just lighter looking.. then I noticed I was weirdly yellow. I was just sitting there looking like.. am i tripping? so I go to the bathroom and I ofc, looked sickly. I mean. That's a given. I took 1.5k in a single day, I haven't taken any since I woke up, barely slept, barely ate, dehydrated, sobbed for hours... I am a hot mess. God. Anyway. I looked way different than I ever had before. I know how I look when I'm withdrawing and this was worse. Usually if I feel like shit, I look like shit but I really wasn't expecting what I saw. I looked yellowish and with my lips being dry it made them look paler/ashy so the combo wass just kinda shocking

Content warning: specifics on stool junk. Skip the green section if you don't wanna hear it

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I've had this one symptom for quite a while now but I felt like it was a bit tmi but at this point, I want to be entirely transparent. When I stopped for that week and relapsed tryna do dxm, I basically felt the sameish as I did before the break and I thought nothing of it. But as I started ramping up my habit again, I noticed that I would need to poo like RIGHT after I took my pills. It was so weird. 10-20 mins after without fail, I'd need to go. Then once I started taking it multiple times a day, I'd also need to need to go multiple times a day. It was so fucking annoying as I'm a person that needs to go a few times a week. Depending on what I'm eating, i'd prolly go 3-5 times a week. So going from that to every single day/multiple times a day drove me nuts.

That in itself was already so annoying but I would've accepted it if that's all it was. But during that time, anytime I had those pill induced shits it would burn so bad. It was the weirdest sensation. I'm sure everyone has experienced eating a spicy food and then immediately regretting it once it's time to pass it. And I mean with that, yeah it hurts but it mostly dissipates once its out. But this shit... oh my god. The burn of it was different from anything I've ever had before. It'd literally hurt for so long after. Not to where it's excruciating but it was just odd to feel my junk burning off some junk I passed 10 mins ago. When I did it multiple times a day however.. that's when I couldn't take it. It'd burn damn near everytime as is but not getting a long enough time inbetween this junk made it sting worse and worse.

Around this time I started to google junk cause it was getting out of hand. My stool was always green during that time so I looked into that first. I saw mostly people talking about it's harmless most of the time and probably diet based but I knew I had to be a special case. So I kept looking when I found out about the possibility of having bile in my junk and it all made sense. My acid reflux has been worse, the burning would make perfect sense, and plus I saw that if your body digests the junk too quick there's sometimes an excessive amount of unabsorbed bile. I irritated tf out of my stomach with all the pills so I would not be shocked my stomach would just want whatevers inflaming out as SOON as possible.

After a while, I just was tired of being in pain and I'd just ignore my stomach whining to get that mess out of me. It was getting to be entirely too much and I knew it'd probably reopen my ulcer but I couldn't be bothered to care

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Anyway I explain all that because when I was looking into jaundice causes all I was seeing was mentions about liver shit and excessive bile can leave you looking yellow/green. With my excessive bile thing happening before, I knew that was probably what it was. I'm gonna hope that the combo of me taking hella pills without drinking much water is what made my liver play me this time. I don't want that to be an actual thing I have to be conscious of.. I don't want my parents to drag me to the doctor's office and if they saw me like that it's basically guaranteed. Honestly, they probably wouldn't even bother they'd prolly go straight to urgent care. I can't even imagine all the explaining I'd have to do.. All the issues the doctor could point out. God. What if they see all the benadryl floating around my system and know I'm abusing them without me even saying anything?? What if they tell my parents behind my back?? I know they can't afford to put me in some fancy ass rehab shit. Where th would you even find that..

So in order to not have my minion-esque skin be what gets me found out, I'm gonna start going out my way to chug water where I can and start tapering off again. I've noticed I haven't really had that sickly out of it feel when I get into the 500+ range so I'm guessing if I lower it from that I should probably be good? I dunno. For now I'm not saying I'm quitting as I have no clue how long it'll take to get used to lower and lower amounts but at the very least I won't be going back to my peak doses. That 750 I took was the most I've had since pre relapse and it'd be so easy to slide back into my everyday 750-1.25k range atp but it really isn't worth it. I'd have to drink so much water to accommodate that and if I do now gotta worry about jaundice I'm sure giving my liver even more meds to process would be a extremely poor decision.

I am exhausted though.. Now that I'm done writing this I'm honestly bouta take a nap

R and her girlfriend are going through a really rough patch right now. To the point where she thinks her partner is going to leave her. She's been real focused on working and stuff and i guess with that she didn't notice that she was going through something..?

NOTES/EMOTIONS

The funny part is she was working that hard so that they could move in together next year. Something they both were really set on. It's kinda sad. R must be so confused.

The thing is like.. this has been a CONSTANTT on and off issue for them. I fully get wanting to hang with her but this is what... 5th? 6th? time that they've had strain because of how much they hang. And that's only the times that my bsf has told me about. It just like.. what else can she do? They still talk everyday and she still doesn't really play/talk to many other people to give her her for the most part completely undivided attention. But at the same point, this is R's first time having a job where she has hours hours. I'm sure that shit can be tiring as is but she literally aint used to it yet. She only started working long long shifts 2-3 weeks ago. She be exhausted. I feel like her partner wants her to just sit there and talk to morning to evening like she did when she didn't have all too many time commitments and it just aint realistic. I don't get why they're still fighting on that

They fight a lot in general. It feels like every few days she'll seem off and I'll be like oh I'm sorry and try and comfort her and junk. But then theyre just "back good" by the next day. I don't think either of em are addressing the real problem if they need to argue so damn much

Plus, I don't see how R doesn't see it but she said it herself she brought up them feeling distant, her girlfriend didn't change literally anything. She said it for herself and still ended up blaming herself by the end of it. She thinks that she was neglecting her and it was her fault for not knowing about her struggles even though she has literally brought it up multiple times... plus she focuses focuses on her once she gets back. SO it's just like.. I dunno. I just feel like her partner just.. aint it

That sounds so harsh but I mean. God. She made R feel like she had to drop all her damn hobbies and "grow up", she makes her feel like shit for STRUGGLING with multiple addictions because R said she'd quit and apparently her relapsing means she was lying the whole time, gives her the cold shoulder whenever she feels like knowing damn well R is terrified of abandonment and'll go nuts and do whatever to get her back whether its right or wrong to, plus like my bsf LOVES weed and her partner wants her to quit by the time they move in together.

To me, I think that the two need to breakup. My bsf's partner clearly wants a whole different person and I don't think R should feel bad for not just forcing herself in the perfect partner mold.

The thing that's been irking me the most is her giving R the cold shoulder when she gets high with no fucking thought on context. She has literally been escaping through that shit for damn near 5 years at this point. I fully get not understanding that shit cause you don't do that sort of thing. I'm glad she doesn't honestly. It'd be one more thing for R to stress on plus she can be her voice of reason.. Well okay if she actually gave enough of a fuck to be a voice of reason she could be. But that's the thing. She just parrots out the "right thing" and get mad that my bsf can't just poof into sobriety. I'm so tired of R coming to me in distress cause her girlfriend is icing her out cause she smoked a single cig. or weed to help her sleep.. Just like. Stupid shit. She gives 0 positive reinforcement whatsoever. How does she not see how damn far R has come??

When I first met her, she'd causally take dxm day after day and get so messed up on that shit she'd actually blackout. She used to stay high or drunk. Didn't matter that it was hurting her. She just wanted an escape. But now?? She is so much more responsible. She actually googles and researches instead of just doing whatever with no concern with her health. She doesn't take dxm anymore cause she saw that it could possible heighten her blood pressure. She doesn't really take dph anymore... tho there has been a few occasions these last few months. She smokes like.. 2-3 cigs a dayish when before she could go through an entire pack within a single day. She only smokes weed every once in a while vs when before she'd CONSTANTLY going through pen after pen

LIKE?? I just. I hate that she makes R feel so shitty for not being 100% with that stuff. I feel like she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm proud of her for all the changes she's made within the last few months but hearing it from her partner would mean the world to her. How hard is it to just support her?? So fucking selfish.

Plus some of the time she does that shit, she ain't even doing it cause she wants to and her partner NEVER CONSIDERS THAT.R's heart has been being weird for months now. Doctors ain't really been helping too much as far as solutions go and with her liver being fucked beforehand she has to just take it at times. The medicine she has available to her has they own pros and cons. Which leads her to sometimes smoke to not feel that shit so much.

I remember this one day me and her didn't talk much the whole day so I freaked out and tried to get through to her through damn near every form of contact I had. I damn near texted her mom but I thought that would be too much for day 1 so I had a draft written up for if she was gone. I was terrified. She never just dips like that.

...Only for her to text me back about an hour later. I was slightly annoyed at first but once she explained I bout cried. She was in so much pain that she oded on dph so she could sleep it off. She started opening up about how much pain she be in and how the bp pills have so many side effects and she can't really take tylenol anymore cause of her liver. A lot the time when she smokes weed/take dph its to dull the pain of that. It's why I try to be as vocal as I can about supporting her on that shit. I don't want her to be dependent on ANYTHING ofc but I can't imagine having to sit there in excruciating pain with little to help you.

To have your own partner just... disregard that cause she doesn't like her being on anything just grosses me out.

But despite all that, I am still.. so fucking sad for my bsf. She really loves that girl and even with their severely unbalanced relationship I know her partner has her good qualities. I couldn't imagine being in her shoes rn. Feeling like all your accomplishments and growth was for nothing cause at the end of the day you lost the reason you were pushing yourself so hard.

This is honestly the worst case scenario. I've been dreading this day so much. On one hand, if they do end up breaking things off, at least she won't have to deal with all the stressors of being stranded in a completely diff state. I knew being around each other 24/7 would eventually force a lot of their issues to the forefront and seeing how they respond to disagreements as is I couldn't imagine that arrangement lasting for too long. But at the same time.. R is not gonna see their dynamic for what it is until she is long long over it. There are no positives for her in this you know? She's not gonna see it as a lesson to only put your all into relationships once you see the same from them. All she's seeing it as is a another person abandoning her. Another person she isnt good enough for.

I wish I could pull her out that pit myself. I hate that I have to just sit there and watch for now. I remember how hurt I was over a 2mo relationship with a fucking groomer. I didn't accept that shit for yearssss. I can't imagine having someone you have so many memories with possibly leaving from your life

I hope to god she doesn't do anything too rash. I know she's going to spiral.. She's probably passed out drunk rn tbr. And she's prolly gon be hurting herself for a looong long time. It makes me so upset. I hate that she's gonna treat herself like dirt because she wasn't able to transform into the picture perfect partner her girlfriend expected her to be. I wish I could just say a magic word and she'd just be over it.

I don't know how I want to approach comforting her if things do end up ending. On one hand, we used to talk alot more and she was a lot more open about her feelings pre treating-her-girlfriend-like-she-treated-me mode so would it be good for me to try and get her back to that? Does that come off as me trying to replace her gf? Will she think I'm just tryna make her like me back and I'm just rushing to steal her partners spot? And plus like.. I know how this shit goes. No matter what I say or do she's still going to hurt. Will me trying to distract her just annoy her? Is that actually helpful?

God.. I feel like I've been writing forever. I'm sorry. First time in a while and I just started going on and on. But that ll is a pretty thorough breakdown of everything on my mind right now. I am so scared on what R is going to be doing to try and cope. And I'm scared that her possible ex is gonna be a sore spot for her for a while. I'm not really hoping they get back together but I kinda am at the same time. I wish that they'd break up on R's terms. I know the after stuff would be a lot easier on her that way. She would've already come to the terms that their relationship aint feasible for one reason or another which is a huge step as is.

Buuut. nope. Well. Ig it aint guaranteed. They might not breakup at all. I'm gonna hope they do tho. She doesn't need someone that'll sit there and purposely punish and hurt her cause they don't get their way. Sorry again for the long ass notes section. I'm just really scared

#dph #benadryl #diphenhydramine #dph addiction #trip reports #vent #excessively long

[actuallyitsmyhouse]

i just want someone to love me is that too much to ask

#mine #apparently so #and i mean romantically #i have a lot of love in my life but #i just want to feel wanted #like god is so much to ask for someone to fucking LIKE me????? #i genuinely dont think a single person has been even vaguely into me since my last boyfriend #and that was two years ago now #so im just #the self loathing is strong tonight lads #fuck #i need to take my meds dont i #i feel like fucking shit

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita fluff

[endcant]

aimless musings on subgenre, citypop, and internet subcultures

theres something very interesting about watching citypop become very mainstream in korea and watching that feed back into both western listeners’ opinions and also into the sometimes-cynical efforts of a variety of kpop producers

a lot of people in the youtube/kpop sphere talk about the growth of citypop as if it were a spontaneous wave that appeared out of nowhere with mariya takeuchi’s plastic love getting picked up by the youtube algorithm in like 2018 or whatever, but thats a very like online-ignorant view of the interaction between vintage japanese music and worldwide online EDM production. citypop has been used in future funk and vaporwave for almost a decade by now, and, as a result, a number of citypop songs took off on social media here and there before plastic love’s acceleration— dress down by kaworu akimoto is one of the big examples off the top of my head, but there’s likely many many more.

“Plastic Love” by Mariya Takeuchi (1984). if you haven’t heard this yet, you’d better listen to it now. The video that first went viral was uploaded in 2017

“Selfish High Heels” by Yung Bae, Macross 82-99, and Harrison (2014) is a popular Future Funk remixes of Dress Down by Kaoru Akimoto (1986)

people who haven’t been very aesthetically literate online over the years— musically or visually, since those things are tied in subcultures— treat things like they come from nowhere. there are ongoing subcultural conversations that lead to certain aesthetic choices, and when someone tries to cash in on a trend without understanding what the trend is, that leads people to call bullshit. calling bullshit is not meanspirited, in my opinion, because it very much is like somebody who can’t speak a language getting up in front of everybody and saying “hey, i’m fluent!” and then speaking some vaguely that-language-sounding nonsense. of course people who genuinely speak that language will be outraged instinctively. it feels like being mocked.

that’s why the difference between music producers picking up on a trend cynically and music producers picking up on a trend with earnest interest in that trend’s origins feels different, even if the producers are similarly distant from the original subculture that produced that trend.

“Lady” by Yubin (2018) committed hard to the 80s JP citypop aesthetic, musically and visually, down to the sets, all fairly early in the major resurgence.

i’m sure that anyone with a passing familiarity with citypop and kpop can ascertain that not all kpop producers know what citypop is and what makes it citypop. all they know is that it is on-trend and they have to make it. not all kpop listeners know what citypop is and what makes it citypop. all they know is their idol said citypop as a buzzword in their little prepared statement. all this results in some interesting moments for me as a Music Fan, Online.

here is where i get to the thing that spurred this post: loona “did a citypop” for their japanese comeback. it doesnt sound like citypop.

“Hula Hoop (Citypop Version)” by Loona (2021). It has very odd percussion rhythms and mixing for citypop, no real attempt at a citypop verse, and strangely sparse gestures towards citypop in the form of a few seconds of bass and some synthesized orchestral embellishments that were taken from the original mix …all in spite of a very disco-inspired melody that should have worked perfectly for citypop

this is not a very big deal, and im not mad about it or anything. when a kpop act i like gets saddled with an unfortunate B-Side track i dont tend to take it very hard. however, it did raise a little bit of musical discourse in the loona fandom— in the form of remixes.

“hula hoop if it was actually a citypop song” by loonahatetwinks and Olivia Soul on youtube. this one has an original instrumental that is spot-on for contemporary k-citypop

My most favorite one of these remixes is a futurefunk remix by ZSunder, one of the very best LOONA fan producers. The fact that ZSunder thought to make a future funk remix at all speaks more to an understanding of the mutually supportive relationship between citypop and EDM genres than most kpop citypop producers or fanmixers seem to care to know about.

“Hula Hoop (Future Funk Mix)” by ZSunder is futurefunk made and mixed with such love that it has the infectious summery energy of a polished, big-name future funk hit

in the comments of this video, some people seemed to get the citypop-future funk connection and some didnt. many did get it, don’t get me wrong! but also, its not all that surprising for some kpop-focused listeners to not know much about EDM subcultures and the reasons behind various trends among producers, since kpop as an institution tends to take influences from any genre and culture it likes and then decontextualize those influences by just having their names used as buzzwords in the blurbs the idols have to recite when variety show hosts ask them about their latest single. this isn’t a criticism of the genre or the fans really, it’s just a part of the kpop industry that is used to add shine to an endless firehose-like stream of polished pop tracks. there are some issues with using whole genres and subcultures with complex histories as buzzwords, but god help us if we ever want a pop industry to give its influences their dues.

anyway, the intention behind ZSunder’s future funk Hula Hoop remix happened to remind me me of why i love Yukika’s discography so much, especially the Soul Lady album. I’ve seen some reviews online baffled by parts of Soul Lady, because the album in general is an exploration of that relationship between citypop and modern/internet EDM. i’ve seen plenty of Soul Lady reviews especially baffled by pit-a-pet, saying something along the lines of “what’s with the modern-sounding dance track in the middle of a retro album?”, but i think that pit-a-pet is a futurefunk-inspired track, at least in the chorus. considering both that and the Chill Lo-Fi Interludes, it seems like estimate’s team put together Soul Lady for Yukika in a way that shows that they love citypop and understand the online-specific electronic music subcultures that led to citypop’s resurgence.

“pit-a-pet” by Yukika (2020). the stacatto, bass heavy chorus is futurefunk enough, but the soaring orchestral part in the final chorus seals the deal for my interpretation.

“All Flights Are Delayed (1 hour version)” by Yukika (2020). Estimate literally released an hour-long youtube mix of one of the Lo-Fi interludes on Soul Lady as part of their promotion, clearly inspired by “Lo-Fi anime beats to chill out to,” which is another example of online producers from around the world using Japanese samples as a focal point of their music

Estimate, in the end, is still a Kpop production company, just the same as BBC, so they have no inherent claim over citypop, but the way that their exploration of subgenres clearly comes from passion and interest on the part of their production staff makes it so that their work with Yukika rings true. on the other hand, i really appreciate Ryan S. Jhun’s work on LOONA’s JP comeback, as well as on Not Friends, but the citypop mix thing was so clearly an afterthought to the point where fans of Loona who like citypop seem mostly just irritated by the cynical-seeming attempt.

heres one last good modern kpop citypop MV that has nods to the internet culture that led to its revival in the form of the videography— vaporwave, future funk, lofi, and other internet genres along those lines tend to have videos consisting of looping anime and vhs clips. future funk in particular is known for this, especially since a lot of future funk music, esp early future funk, is just loops of very short, catchy segments of citypop and disco songs. it’s all about the loops

“My Type” by Yoon JongShin ft. Miyu Takeuchi (2019). This song is so dedicated to the retro JP citypop sound that it’s almost beyond my personal taste. The singer, Miyu, was a headlining act at a seoul citypop festival and sang this song as part of her act (:

this video of “Only One” by Conscious Thoughts (2015) has a looped clip as an example for comparison with My Type. it also has a pulsing sidechain compressor working in time with its drum beat in a way that is common for future funk and that i think is a good example for my pit-a-pet yukika comparison to future funk

i guess the takeaway here is that media is more and more online, and the creation and propagation of digital audio and video content has been in the hands of literally almost anybody who wants to do it for the past two decades thanks to garage band and fruityloops and audacity and tiktok and youtube and bandcamp and soundcloud and myspace and newgrounds and p2p file sharing and so on and so forth. and therefore like… as with all things, the consumer class more and more is also the creator class, and therefore every member of an audio-visual subculture will have the ability to discern what is and isnt made with knowledge of the audio-visual language of that subculture

#me using elder millennial phrasing for Loona Did A City Pop to imply how out-of -touch it is kfhajfhs #mine #music #long post #Youtube

[operationcavill]

Professionals - August Walker

August Walker is hired by Parker Industries to protect the companies most important assets; Mr. Stephen Parker himself and his workaholic, do-it-all executive assistant. 

Y/N is ending her work day by clearing up yet another misunderstanding with a hotel security guard, “I think I need to have someone keep an eye on Mr. Walker, perhaps keep him in line.” 

“No one can keep an eye on Walker, Y/N. He’s the best. That’s why you hired him.” The man on the other line laughs.

“I understand but if he is going to be a part of this team, he will have to learn to uphold a certain demeanor. There will be no threats to paparazzi, there will be no altercations unless there is some sort of threat to you, and there will certainly be absolutely back talk to anyone on this team. Walker was hired as head of security, he is not in charge.” 

A voice comes from behind her, “And who’s in charge?” 

Y/N swings her chair towards the door, bidding her boss goodbye on the phone, “Other than Mr. Parker, I am.”

August has landed himself in quite the situation. He was professional, always about the job, but with her he can’t help himself, he likes to play. “So, I’ll be reporting to you, right?”

“Yes, each evening I’ll send you a schedule and I expect your notes on security the following morning.” She hands him a laptop, “This is yours. Do not lose it. Luke is our best techie, he’ll set you all up this evening. He has blue hair, can’t miss him. Any questions?” 

“To insure I cover everything at each location, I’ll need personal information about staff and most importantly, you and Mr. Parker”

“I can assure you, you have all you need in the files.”

"Medical, both physical and psychological?” He raises an eyebrow.

“You have full access to background checks, medical history, and emergency contacts.”

“Alright, I assume you’ll send out an itinerary?”

Y/N taps her finger on her phone, “Mhmm. Arrive no later than 8:30 AM, please. I will meet you and Mr. Parker here, then we’re off to the airport.” 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“Ok, Well, we’re all finished up,” She stands, throwing her bag over her shoulder, “See you tomorrow, Mr. Walker.” 

He nods, “Tomorrow.” 

August is professional. He’s very one track while on the job; if it does not pertain to the job, then it simply does not matter. Y/N, however, was quite the distraction. Yes, he is here for her protection, that is part of the job but her attitude, her constant emailing or note taking, and her fucking necklace she plays with all the time, were all things he couldn’t escape from.

He watches her tap her foot as she types away on her keyboard, periodically looking out of the jet window, “Does she ever take a break?”

Mr. Parker quietly laughs, “When there’s business to be done, she get’s it done. Y/N has been a busy bee since she was a little girl.” 

“You’ve known her that long?” 

Parker nearly chokes on his tea, “Mr. Walker, Y/N is my niece.” 

He blinks slowly, “That is not in the files she gave me.”

“I’m not surprised. She doesn’t want people to think her career was handed to her. She refused any and all recommendations I wanted to send to schools or internships when she was just getting started, it drove us all mad. She’s stubborn and absolutely genius. You’ll get used to that stubbornness eventually.”

“Interesting.”

“Indeed, a pain in the ass, but she’s the best there is. If you need something done, you go to Y/N.”

August remained tight lipped for the rest of the flight. He barely says a word as they arrive at the Parker estate. Y/N greets every single maid, groundskeeper, and security member with a hug and a smile. She grew up here, no doubt another fact she kept out of her file. He watches her lead the staff into a room filled with paintings and books, perhaps a study, and address them casually. 

“Now, I know Annie has said that you won’t be needed during this stay but you guys deserve an explanation,” She gives August a quick look before continuing, “Steve made a deal with a development team and it seems to have upset other companies.” She notices the confused looks and clears her throat, “Since that deal became public, we’ve been put in a position where Mr. Walker, is here to make sure everything is safe. I can’t keep you all here if there is any threat to your safety,” Y/N seems genuinely upset. He wonders if she’s always like this. 

 Annie, an older woman, sits down beside Y/N and pats her leg, “We know that, Gin Gin.” Gin Gin? Annie get’s up and walks toward August, “You keep our girl safe.” 

His face softens as he looks at Y/N and back to Annie, “I can assure you, she’ll be ok.” 

She stops for a moment before poking his arm, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

He uncrosses his arms, and follows Annie, “Now, I have my own rules, Mr. Walker.” Before he can say anything she begins, “You will treat her will the upmost respect. You treat her like a lady, you hear me? I don’t care what tricks you have up your sleeve, I raised that girl and I will not have anyone, in anyway, hurt her feelings.”

He gives Annie a confused look, “I dont think you understand, Ma’am. I’m simply head of security.” 

She rolls her eyes, no doubt where Y/N learned it, “I don’t care what your job is. I know that look.” Annie walks away and disappears into another room. 

When he returns to the study, he sees that everyone has disbursed expect for a small boy. Contrary to his cold demeanor, he’s always had a soft spot with children, “Who are you?”

“I’m August. Who are you?” The little boy tilts his head and kicks his feet.

“August is when I start kindergarten. I’m Joey.” He has no idea where this child came from or who he belongs to but he didn’t just pop up out of nowhere.

“Who are you here with?” Joey smiles and hops of the couch and starts running. 

He watches Joey run to Y/N and jump into her arms, “I see you’ve met my Joey.” She gives him a raspberry on his cheek and laughs with him but notices Augusts shock, “Calm down, He’s my brothers boy. His nanny brought him by so I could see him.” He simply nods, giving the boy a brief smile.

“Is he your boyfriend?” August’s face goes back to shock.

“No, he’s here to watch the house.”

“Oh,” He looks at August, “I don’t like your mustache.”

Y/n can’t help by laugh and without hesitation, August blurts out, “Well, I don’t like yours.”

Joey laughs, “I don’t have a mustache!”

“Are you sure?” Joey nods and August gets closer to him, “Then what’s that?”

“What?” Joey touches his face.

“That,” August pokes above his lip, “right there,” then he wiggles his finger fast on Joey’s mouth, making the little boy scream with laughter.

Y/N looks at him, not understanding how someone can be so cold to others but so warm to a child. She puts him down, “Come on, Joe. Let’s go find everyone.”

Joey turns back to and gives August’s legs a hug, “Bye, Mr. August.” 

He pats Joey on the head, “See you later, Joey,” and he see’s Y/N smile at him for the first time, a genuine smile.

He waits until Joey has left to question Y/N on her reason for excluding her relation to Parker. He knocks on her door and is surprised to see her inches shorter. He was expecting to be eye to eye with her, not eye to, well, forehead. He lowers his head slightly, "Why didn’t you disclose your relationship to Parker?”

Y/N gestures him to come in, “It wasn’t necessary.” 

“It is absolutely necessary. He’s your uncle.” He wants to correct her for rolling her eyes, but he quickly shakes the thought.

She puts things in a small briefcase and closes her computer, “Yes, but in this setting he is my employer.” 

“Any other secret family members? Is the chauffeur your cousin?” August couldn’t help but be frustrated, and when he’s frustrated he become incredibly sarcastic.

“I’d like to remind you that everything you need to know is available in that handy dandy laptop I gave you.” 

“I’m serious. I need to know about any relationships, past, present, good or bad.” 

She crosses her arms, “I like to keep my personal life and my professional life as separate as I can.” 

He rests his hands on the table and leans forward, “Listen, Gin Gin; I respect the fact that you’re a ball busting business woman, but you hired me to keep things quiet and safe. I’m here to protect you and your uncle, and that means I have to know personal details.” 

“Do not call me that. I have no current relationships. You have the names of my brother, and my close friends.” Y/N uncrosses her arms and puts her hair in a pony tail. Not now August.

"Past relationships?”

“Why?” She glares at him.

He returns the glare, “It’s helpful.” 

“That’s vague,” she fiddles with a stray hair that won’t stay in place.

“Are there any past relationships that could interfere with your uncle’s safety or the integrity of his business?” She’s silent for far too long, “ Hello, am I talking to the walls?”

Y/N bites her lip, and mumbles, “Jack Wayne.”

His eyebrows raise, knowing damn well what she said, “What’s that, now?”

“I said Jack Wayne,” He can’t comprehend her timidness around the name. 

August sarcastically laughs as he clasps his hands together, “Wayne Pharmaceuticals, Jack Wayne?” She nods, “You don’t think the fact that you were involved with a rival company was important?” 

“It was before the company made this deal.” She can feel his eyes on her, “I didn’t want to talk about it.”

Her eyes meet his and he looks angry, “It doesn’t matter if you don’t want to talk about it.” 

She stands right in front of him and puts on her ‘business woman’ face, “You do not need to know or have the right to know every single aspect of my life.” 

Now, it’s his turn to roll his eyes, “Any other billionaire CEOs you’ve been ‘involved’ with?” 

Now she look looks angry, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, have you slept with any other rival philanthropists?” 

Y/N Scoffs, “Get out!”

Her voice raising doesn’t phase him, “Don’t shout at me.” 

“Don’t insult me. Get out of my room, Walker.” She shoves him out the door. 

He puts his foot in the doorway, “You’re a brat, you know that?”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “And you’re a dick! Move your foot.” 

| Read Part 2 | Read Part 3 |

[Tagged: If you’d like to be tagged, just shoot me a message or ask!]

@igotkatiepowers  @xxxkatxo  @lunedelorient  @heartfelt-pen​  @omgkatinka​  @viking-raider​  @summersong69​ @hell1129-blog​ @lilzebub​  @mansaaay​ @henryobsessed​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @cavillshmavill​

#my posts #text #henry cavill x you #august walker #august walker au #henry cavill au #henry cavill one shot #august walker x you

[ashistrashhh]

here are some fic recs!! including sakuatsu, bokuaka, kuroken and matsuhana bc i couldnt help myself

if you want, ask me about a certain ship and ill give you some recs!

-sakuatsu-

Marble and Sandstone by red_camellia

rating: G words: 12,937 chapters: 2/2 

author summary: Miya Atsumu only cares about volleyball and nothing else. That is, until he develops a strange obsession with the marble statue of a young man that seems vaguely familiar in his university's arts department. One day that statue comes alive as the very real Sakusa Kiyoomi, and they are left with the mystery of why Sakusa Kiyoomi was turned into a statue and only came back to life when Atsumu touched him. Their new-found connection and the strange mystery turns Atsumu's life upside down, not least because of his growing feelings for Sakusa.

my notes: this was a rlly cute fic!!! 11/10 would read again!!

let it go (paint my body gold) by lunarism

rating: T words: 3,272 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It becomes a routine for them. Sometimes they go grocery shopping and make dinner together, other times they end up talking until Sakusa feels like his own shower and bed is calling him. Every single time Sakusa gets home, shrugs his coat off, balls it up, and proceeds to scream profusely into the fabric for a few minutes.

my notes: pining!!! sakusa!!! also casual painter!atsumu!!! and they paint together!!!

craft a miracle with these hands, lips, (silence) by chrysanthe (sonderesque)

rating: T words: 4,252 chapters: 1/1

author summary: ‘Someone is here to ruin your night,’ his door tells him. ‘You should let them in.’ “I’M HOMELESS OMI-OMI. HOMELESS,” yells the one here to ruin his night. “LET ME IN.”

(What does Kiyoomi sell his sanctuary for?)

my notes: hnnn rlly fuckin cute,, and domestic,,,,

Clipped To You by littleboat

rating: T words: 8,174 chapters: 1/1

author summary: It starts with Hinata Natsu, of all people.

Well, if Atsumu’s being honest with himself, it started way before that, but he’s not, so that’s besides the point. And thankfully, he’s just petty enough to blame all of his problems on a thirteen year old girl.

or Sakusa starts wearing hair clips and Atsumu is more than a little obsessed

my notes: minor kagehina, bokuaka // god these fics rlly make me simp for fictional characters even more than i should. but!! sakusa!!! in hairclips!!! and a pining atsumu!!!

learn how to lay me down in something other than danger, other than fury by rosevtea 

words: 34,211 chapters: 1/1

author summary: All of the ways fellow college TA Miya Atsumu reinvents Kiyoomi's definition of normal.

my notes: god i loved this. it’s a fake dating au and like,, even though they’re “dating” sakusa keeps letting his guard down little by little around atsumu and it surprises everyone. komori and akaashi just know  that they’re were genuinely pining for eachother

among probabilities and a thousand fates by aalphard

rating: T words: 15,675 chapters: 1/1

author summary: prompt fill for “in a world where the red string of fate exists, person a’s finger always twitches when person b, who can see the string, tugs on their string” | or sakusa thought he had a tic and atsumu liked to see his confused expression when it started to happen exclusively when he was around.

my notes: i! loved! it!! so basically atsumu and osamu have the rare gift of seeing the red string of fate, so they know its real but sakusa, like most other people dont believe it exists. so atsumu gives sakusa a (kinda) hard time. rlly cute!! i love soulmate aus!

-bokuaka- 

love in the time of wifi by dalyeau

rating: G words: 4,177 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Akaashi is coming to terms with the fact that he might be romantically interested in his volleyball captain. Hence, doing what any sixteen year old with a problem should do. He asks about it online.

my notes: really cute fic about akaashi asking what he should do about his crush on a site similar to reddit. its kinda a “i didnt know it was you” kind of fic and it made me happy

steam by orphan_account

rating: E words: 8,474 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 bokuto: why is he so hot bokuto: why am i so gay kuroo: LMAO you mean your vice captain right bokuto: yeah

The coach blew the whistle for practice to begin, and Bokuto drummed his fingers against the bleachers, awaiting Kuroo’s reply. He was about to walk away, when his phone buzzed in his hand.kuroo: i got this bro bokuto: what bokuto: wtf does that mean

Bokuto started to panic.

my notes: explicit!!! but really wholesome. kuroo is honestly the best wingman. i also think this is my favourite bokuaka smutfic?? 

just to miss the sun by rosevtea

rating: T words: 15,126 chapters:1/1

author summary: Everything begins to implode when MSBY Jackals outside hitter Bokuto Koutarou crashes Akaashi's livestream.

my notes: akaashi is a booktuber and bokuto crashes one of his streams. fans begin to speculate. rlly fluffy and can u tell i like bokuaka

brain fish by iceblinks

rating: T words: 12,026 chapters: 6/6

author summary: Akaashi wakes up to a string of texts from an unknown number. 

my notes: i love text fics and i love wrong number aus so u can tell how much i loved this. really fluffy and i come back to it time to time

-kuroken-

us three by honey_s

rating: T words: 5,137 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo’s gaze flits over to the utensil. His eyes bulge out of his skull. “Wh—is that a meat hammer? Put it back!” Akaashi’s head recoils back in confusion. “I don’t understand the problem here.” “Why on Earth have you got a fucking meat hammer? We aren’t going to kill somebody!” “Well,” Akaashi begins, clearly taken aback, “I apologise for assuming. I had heard Kenma-san had been hurt in school and after getting a message from both of you to meet late at night, I merely filled in the blanks and assumed we were going to beat someone up, for lack of a better term.” “Not literally! I meant metaphorically, or figuratively, or something!” “Idiomically?” “That isn’t a word, Bokuto-san.” “Jesus Christ,” Kuroo groans, dropping his head into his hands. “We're going to jail."

my notes: bokuaka and kuroo are ready to beat someone up for kenma!! and we stan!! 

Cherry Pits and Cat Tattoos by strawberryriver

rating: G words: 6,141 chapters: 1/1

author summary: 

Kuroo has been in communication with his soulmate ever since they were kids. They've known each other for so long that he never really worried about when or how he would meet them. At least, not until he meets the roommate of Bokuto's soulmate.Soulmate AU in which things written on your skin show up on your soulmate. Companion piece/same AU as Serendipty

--------------------

Kuroo Tetsurou liked to write on his arms. Despite his mother's half-serious warnings about “ink poisoning” or staining his skin, he insisted on marking his arms and legs wherever he could. Not like his best-friend-since-always Bokuto Koutaro, who had to write on his arms or he’d forget to breathe, but artfully. He’d draw designs, animals, the occasional chemical compound. The whole idea behind soulmates fascinated him: how one person could mark their arm and someone potentially thousands of miles away, would have that same mark appear. The amount of articles, studies, and books he’d read about the topic, even at a young age, could put an undergrad researcher to shame.

my notes: again with the soulmate au bc i cannot help myself. but really cute!!! probably gonna read this again later!

Boom, Toasted by protostar (hearthope)

rated: T words: 6,782 chapters: 1/1

author summary:

 FROM: yuuji any bets on who hes texting??

FROM: eita He's smiling at his phone. Kuroo, probably

FROM: kentarou Kuroo

TO: fake family Have any of you ever once considered not prying

FROM: eita You deserve it

FROM: yuuji how can we not when ur in love!!

Kenma gets a text from an unknown number. He'd be lying if he said the guy behind it wasn't kind of endearing.

my notes: again, i love wrong number texts. it focuses more on kenma’s friendship, but kenma’s pov with texting kuroo is more than him realizing feelings and stuff. really cute, ive read it multiple times. 

Japan's most subscribed by NeverNothing

rating: T words: 3,631 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Kuroo Tetsurou @blacktetsurou changed his bio : volleyball player, co-owner of Bouncing Ball Corp. and so much more ;)

my notes: i! love! social media! fics!!! really cute and basically people wondering who the mysterious kuroo is to applepi. 

MATSUHANA!!! the underrated gem

texting (with a capital S) by parenthetic

rating: M words: 2,119 chapters: 1/1

author summary: Hanamaki breaks his No Texting In Class rule, and it's all downhill from there.

my notes: honestly more funny than it suggests, but its matsuhana, they’re meme lords.

rated m for by orphan_account

rated: T words: 10,692 chapters: 1/1

author summary: He should have known that there was a Specific Reason™ why it was so absolutely vital that he and Matsukawa specifically meet for a reading of the script. He should have known that there had to be some evil catch beyond sitting in a tiny, cramped studio with his newly sworn enemy.

Hanamaki stares at the title of the script he’d so gracefully neglected the night before.

FORBIDDEN PARADISE

“Excuse me,” Hanamaki starts, raising a pen in the air while staring blankly at the packet in his free hand. “Just to clarify, you want me to record a boy's love CD with Matsukawa?”

my notes: a very good voice actor au. there is some misunderstanding on hanamaki’s part bc he didnt finish listening to matsukawa, and this is really cute and i love matsuhana. 

In A Quiet Night, All Sounds Carry by levyovochka

rating: E words: 4,794 chapters: 1/1

authors summary: “Ah, ah, Too—!”

Hanamaki hates his university dorm.

“—ru, let me cum, please!”

Hold up. That’s a fucking understatement. Let him rephrase it: Hanamaki loathes his university dorm with passion. Detest the damned abomination, abhors it—

“—ru! Coming, coming—”

It has only been a month and Hanamaki already wants to die.

my notes: as u can guess minor iwaoi // rlly well written and bottom hanamaki rights and maybe my favourite matsuhana smutfic??? and hooh boy i simp for matsukawa

call me maybe by totooru

rating: T words: 33,689 chapters: 14/14

author summary: Hanamaki texts the wrong number when trying to extort tips out of Oikawa in order to defeat Iwaizumi in arm wrestling, and then continues to text the witty stranger who had answered.

my notes: minor iwaoi, daisuga, bokuaka // god i think this is my favourite matsuhana fic overall, maybe in general, but my god is it great. this is probably a common rec, but its understandable as to why it is. basically au where makki texts matsun (who goes to karasuno) instead of oikawa for tips to beat iwaizumi at an arm wrestling match. but they keep messaging. and holy shit i love their conversations. please read this, it is 256/10

there we go!! i might go a part two with more ships (kagehina, tsukkiyama and iwaoi) but this took up way to much time lol. i have an essay due in a couple hours. but hope u like these fics as much as i do!!

#haikyuu fic recs #fic recs #bokuaka #bokuto koutarou #akaashi keiji #kuroken #kuroo tetsurou #kozume kenma #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #msby black jackal #matsuhana #matsumakki #hanamaki takahiro #matsukawa issei #kagehina #daisuga #ash's ramblings #hinata shouyou #long post

[7wanderingpaws]

⭐️ I’m curious about about a “directors cut” for Let’s Have Some Gentle Fun and Captain Bucheon as well.

Jamie, not gonna lie but if I had to guess what youd be asking about, I would say these two! I feel like I owe you with the "Lets have some gentle fun" one shot since it was for you ㅠㅠ (this will be long, sorry)

Directors cut for: Lets Have Some Gentle Fun

(Can I just say I want to explore Jiyongs character in this one? lol totally unrelated but still... "Dragon" and his own adventures haha)

Baekhyun smiled at you kindly, his eyes following your movements the entire time despite having a beautiful chick sitting on his thighs. Gulp. Those thighs.

“Thank you,” he made sure to say, when you stood up to your full length. Shooting him a very pressed, almost painful smile, you nodded once, accidentally meeting his gaze that you thought was not on you any longer.

You were wrong. But were you wrong as well when you always felt electricity curse down your veins whenever you would look at each other? Was the attraction just from your side? Why was he so hard to approach yet so easy to talk to once you actually managed to spike up a conversation?

Right. Your friends always snatched him away. While he was the center of the circle, you were the edge; the misunderstood one yet always invited. Doing chatty-chats with the famous ones in the circle of your friends seemed to be hard because if they didn’t really vibe with you, they’d made sure you could feel it. Baekhyun not once did, yet his apologetic smiles whenever someone wanted to talk to him when he was about to start a conversation with you, hurt more than any of your other friends’ attitude.

Reciprocating his stare a little longer, you finally turned, thinking he would be paying attention to the pretty lady on his lap. Yet again, you were wrong. He was looking even when you were far gone and back to the bar to continue your shift.

Okay, stop here. This right here screams interest and Baekhyuns badly hidden attraction towards OC. He had been doing that in other scenes where he stares at her and says words that clearly mean his interest, but there is something holding him back which is his girlfriend; the one sitting on his lap, the one who will appear at the end of the storyline. Meanwhile, OC isnt as focused on his girlfriend, as she is on the reality of everyone stealing him away from her. Baekhyun can only offer apologetic smiles - why is that? OC can only interpret that as his disinterest; he isnt much different than the others. Baekhyun is being very vague again in the next scene:

“You have a man here?”

Both of you were quiet now. He was staring into your eyes, something so hard for you to decipher flashing in those deep orbs. His eyes seemed almost black, swallowing up every light that dared to enter including you.

“It’s what you all think about me, isn’t it?” you mumbled quietly. “That I bring men home, that I’m the quiet before the storm. I know that’s what you all say behind my back. I’m just living up to your knowledge.”

Baekhyun’s face became unreadable. His features evened out. “Way to ruin the mood.”

You laughed. “Whatever mood you’re talking about-“

Baekhyun made OC believe there was something happening between them in that moment. He is always unconsciously flirting with her, making baby steps to get to know OC better; it felt like he put the blame on her when in reality, he is the taken man and he is the one never offering more. And he had the audacity to act hurt at the idea of her having someone there?

He stepped closer, silencing you right away. “I know people are judgemental fucks but I would have always said otherwise about you.”

“Meaning?”

He gave you a lopsided smirk, not reaching his eyes. “I can hardly judge you when I know so little about you. I never believe those rumors and you shouldn’t give a damn either. If anything, you’re the most intriguing among our friends.”

He couldn’t tell, but breath hitched in your throat from the way his eyes were drinking you up, their intensity burning every sane thought you could produce. “Then why do you always yield to those friends? We had many chances to talk. But it wasn’t me who always turned around at the last moment.”

The tension was almost palpable when you were looking up at him.

He didn’t reply and you realized the headache you were gifted with today. Sighing tiredly, you smiled up. “Whatever. Don’t answer that. Go. I bet your girlfriend is waiting.” When he didn’t move, you snorted a laugh. “Why are you even baking at this hour? You’ll be late to work.”

Poor OC. Baekhyun was darn lucky she decided to speak up and not let him answer. He wouldnt be able to offer anything she would want to hear in that moment. I really liked these scenes because they set the diversity of Baekhyuns character, they set up the confusion, and at the same time they are enhancing OCs struggle with her crush towards him. She knows she cant have him, and she also thinks Baekyhun is just like her other friends, while she has no clue the man is attracted to her. Just for the funsies - we dont know whether he actually meant it, or whether he just wanted his desire to be satiated by her as a one night stand. I still love this plotline so much! And I think it is the most realistic kind of crush - from OCs side and from Baekhyuns side.

Directors cut: Captain Bucheon

“Then why would you do it if you don’t want to do it?” he asked, genuinely confused.

“Because I’m in the student council,” you replied almost in a whine. “They asked me and I couldn’t say no!” You threw your arms around, making it sound like a big deal. And for you, it was a big deal. You didn’t like how you were easily pushed around.

Baekhyun nodded, a small smile stretching his lips when he saw your comprehension. Sweet university life. “You must be very liked by everyone.”

You froze at that. That wasn’t true. How would you tell your ex the reason everyone was all over you was because you had huge tits and you were friends with Chul? “It’s not like that…”

Baekhyun nodded, noting your discomfort but deciding against questioning it. He didn’t think he was anywhere near the position to stick his nose into your business. For all he knew, he’d scare you away like that time in the bar but, frankly, he didn’t even utter a single word that night to give you a reason for your abrupt fleeing.

“So you run here often, huh,” he heard you say and then saw you shuffling your feet, the small stones of the track field rustling under them.

So much is happening here I want to CRY! The first question Baekyhun asked is something he would definitely ask her if they were dating. He cares about her so much, he needs to ask for her reasons. Yet, Captain Byun isnt the type to be too nosy; from Burn Your Bridges we saw he was a passionate lover but very mature and responsible which also shows in the part where he didnt question her about her discomfort when he sensed it. But he still cares too much. These scenes prove how tables turned; Lee Nari is the one who is harder to reach now, while Baekhyun seems to be losing his mind a little with having the young girl back in his life. It shows in this scene:

Baekhyun was fast. Before you realized the warmth of his hand leaving yours, you heard a loud snap, his fist landing with the dude’s face. You squealed, covering your mouth in shock and just like that, Baekhyun had professionally put the lad down, having both his arms locked behind his back. It vastly made you remember when he did a similar move with your brother in his office at the police station, and chills ran down your spine.

Right. Baekhyun first arrested you, and then your brother who was still in jail until now. Baekhyun lied to you to get closer to you. Right. Right, right, right.

“Don’t ever even imagine her in your filthy mind,” Baekhyun’s voice thundered through the space.

Baekhyun lost it. And this is also a huge trigger for the OC. If you read the story, you would learn that Baekhyun would never pull this move on just a random person he needs to protect as a cop. But we are talking about Lee Nari and he would sure as hell manhandle anyone who dared to talk about her badly. Even her brother.

Your palm landed on his cheek and Baekhyun’s face snapped to his right side. “I hate you!” You shouted shakily, more tears spilling down your cheeks, the snot out of your nose. You were a mess. “I hate everything you put me through, Byun Baekhyun! You lied to me! Why did you lie to me?! I loved you!” You shouted again, and squeezed your eyes shut.

(...)

Your palms were still, pressing against his sturdy chest but you couldn’t make him move anymore. You were crying now, your voice shaking and your eyes still squeezed shut. “What did I do to deserve this… when all I did was love you honestly, purely,” you wailed, your voice sounding almost like a wolf’s howl in the empty streets of the campus. “I was just seventeen…”

Baekhyun was quiet the whole time, emotions of guilt eating him away just like they had been for the past year. His own heart was in pain and he knew how hurt you were but seeing you like this made his heart split into two. You were a complete, utter mess.

Even I felt heartbroken as I wrote that, angst at its best!! Baekhyun could finally witness just how damaged the girl is. Nari needed this. Thank God Baekhyun provided her the chance to finally speak up. I just loved the slap that she gave him, I loved how passionate and aggressive she was - with all his previous kindness, she finally erupted like a volcano. I love how she became so tired of her emotions, so tired of hating on Baekhyun that eventually led her to be in his arms. That last sentence is just as heart-breaking; your lover realizing just how much they ruined you but they still hold you in their arms. Its a little ironic, isnt it? The delicious pain of enemies/lovers trope <3 God I love them!!

- ASK ME: Fanfic Writers: Directos Cut

#ask game #fic: LHSGF #fic: CB

[ofgunshy]

TASK 09 / IRENE BRADFORD.

you’ve known enough heartbreak to last a lifetime, and you figure that this is your destiny. the work you do makes everything worth it.

maddox & tilly.

you never understood why your parents had children. your mother was cold and aloof most of the time, not hateful, just disinterested. and your father, well, he loved kids. when he came home, he'd lift you up into his arms and spin you around, walk around the house with you on one shoulder and your brother on the other. but he was hardly ever around, so it didn't matter much. you always told yourself that if you had kids, they would surely know that you wanted them. you wouldn't ignore them, and you wouldn't disappear. but it's easy to make promises when you're nine and it's harder to keep them once you turn twenty-three and you're holding a pregnancy test in shaking hands.

when maddox and tilly leave for summer vacation at gallagher, you promise to keep in touch. your emails are short and terse, but that's just how you communicate. they're mundane updates at first, evenings under the virginia sky with laura, catching up with your god-daughters and their friends, but it doesn't take much time before communication becomes even more vague.

tilly – i'm taking another job. i can't say much about it, it's highly confidential, but i'm working with people i trust. i'll be safe, talk soon. hope you're having a nice vacation – look after maddox, of course :) not that i need to tell you that.

elise.

when roman calls you, it'd be a lie to say that you weren't expecting it. after all, you told him you had a hunch it wasn't over and your hunches tend to be more right than wrong. you just didn't expect that he'd pull you into it. you're not exactly the best of friends. but the second he says elise's name, you can feel yourself falling prey to the weakness of caring. "i'm coming to d.c.," is all you say, he doesn't even need to ask. and then you're there within the hour.

elise has been under interrogation all day by the time you step into the room. she looks exhausted, more than you've ever seen her, and it's not like elise park to be seen with split ends. you hate how it humanizes her after what she did, and you hate the brotherhood more than ever. after all, it seems like everyone you love gets swept up in it, and it's starting to feel personal.

"th—they have him, irene. i dont know how true but they have him and i dont—i dont know what to do." 

in a way, it should feel good to see her cry. elise betrayed you, sold you out to the brotherhood, supported the murder of your children. she should rot for that. but you also knows what it's like to grasp at straws for a second chance at what you've lost. "don't do that," you say, "you're better than this." you reach across the table for elise's hand, leaning forward and looking her in the eye. "i'll tell you what you do. you get revenge. you fucking pull yourself together and you turn it around on those motherfuckers that took him from you. because you can still save him." your eyebrow arches slightly, "why else would i be here?"

roman.

and so, it begins. you spend the rest of the summer searching for clues, attempting to take down the brotherhood and restore what was lost. you spend hours sitting over the desk with roman, going over his notes as he briefs you, jack, and naomi on what's next for the mission. he's a good planner and you come to respect him for it. you don't sleep well, it's rare, and you spend a lot of nights perched in a chair beside him, trying to be helpful – although it usually results in more sarcasm than genuine agreement. but he makes you laugh, too, and you come to admire and respect him as the leader of this haphazard group of misfits. somewhere in those late nights, you figure any information about the brotherhood could help the case, so between glasses of expensive whiskey, you tell roman all about your dad. all about miles, and with that comes maddox and tilly and everything you did to run and hide.

"i'm no better than elise in some ways," you admit, "i knew so much, but when i discovered the truth about miles, i ran. i hid, and i didn't say anything to anyone. i had two kids to take care of and i prioritized myself, and even now...i'm not sure i did the right thing. if i'd said something, maybe i could've stopped it all. so, this is my second chance, too."

naomi.

you probably shouldn't have stayed up so late, because you and naomi have an early morning together. when you make your way into the warehouse to recover documents, you're off your game. your head's in the clouds, thinking about tilly and maddox and how as long as this goes on, they're not safe. after all, this mission, this case is extremely personal. you're pulled out of your thoughts as a shot whizzes by your head.

"got you," noami grins cheekily as the perp stumbles backward. "now, you get my back," she says, rushing forward. your eyes widen because you're not used to taking orders from a kid, but considering she's just saved your life, she's probably earned it, so you push your thoughts back out of your mind and use your energy to make sure that you have her back the rest of the way. there's growing admiration for her as you allow her to take the lead, a sense of pride and you feel lucky to mentor this young woman. you can see how she loves the work she's doing and all you can hope is that she never, ever becomes as jaded as you are. you'd love this field infinitely more if you could work with women like her all the time.

jack.

it was supposed to be goodbye. you can remember looking up at his eyes, trying to remember his face like it would be the last time, but here he is again – sturdy as ever, and unmoving presence in every single chapter of your life. perhaps you should give up trying to shake him, it's starting to seem futile. so, you just flash him a wry smile as the two of you both silently recognize the irony in this. "hello, jack," you greet rather cheekily, plucking the file in his hands from his grasp with a glint in your eye as you get to work.

about a month out, you follow a lead together in brussels, attempting to check out a shipment in edward atkins name. as you're running together on the dock, he catches your eye. "go on, i'll cover you," he insists. you charge forward and duck behind some cargo, meeting his eyes for a moment. there's no time for either of you to say it out loud, but it's apparent: we make a pretty good team after all, is what you think, because once you put your differences aside, you know that jack is someone you can rely on, that he's a good agent, and that your strengths play pretty well into each other's. maybe gallagher was onto something when they paired you with him all those years ago. even though you're not nineteen any more, sometimes he makes you feel like it.

when you get to the hotel room, you half expect him to try something ( or you hope? it's been a while since you've gotten laid, after all. ) but he doesn't. he's a perfect gentleman, he doesn't even fight you for the bed, wordlessly taking the couch. "night jack," you say before rolling over onto your side. and it's the first good sleep you've had in a while, and when you wake up well-rested you realize that like it or not, you trust jack stone. you can sleep peacefully when he's around, because you know he's not a threat. he's a friend.

during the final mission, you can tell something's wrong. you do the math quickly, and there's something off about the sound of the three shots, and though you doesn't know for sure, there's a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. but you don’t argue with jack when he says that he's fine, because the mission is always more important. and you knows that jack would agree with you. so, you don't even react when you see the blood on his shirt back at headquarters, your lip doesn't tremble as he collapses to the ground. you have lost so many people over the years, this is hardly the first casualty you've seen on a mission. but this feels different somehow.

"can you forgive me?" jack asks as your hand slips into his.

"of course. i never once hated you jack, even when i wanted to." and you always thought you would be stubborn, but you're glad that you get to tell him that before his entire world goes black.

laura.

it's funny to attend a wedding and a funeral so close together. but seeing elise and tristan together feels like closure. after all, you can remember when they met, bright-eyed and constantly smiling, stealing glances at each other from across the room. at their wedding, you notice that they still look at each other like that. and that's in part because of what jack did. when you stand there at his grave, you wish that it could all be a ruse – it's like instant karma that he spent the past five years thinking you were dead. and now it's him, six feet under instead. you look up at the sky and roll your eyes, mostly at god for whatever cruel joke he's playing – but if jack can see you, then that's just as well.

you're back in laura's apartment where you started the summer, an old fashioned in the palm of your hand as you lean up against the kitchen counter, rehashing any of the details that you're allowed to tell her. "i just don't know what to do next," you say. "and i know if i dive back into my work, i'm just...i'm going to lose touch with them," you sigh, referring to maddox and tilly. "but maybe it's for the best. i always seem to find my way into dangerous shit like this."

"what if you didn't?" laura asks, looking up at you with a knowing smirk that you've seen one too many times before, and it reminds you of being eighteen years old and breaking into all of gallagher's secret passages. granted, you were both escorted back to your rooms after getting caught, but you would spend the rest of the night laughing and talking. you made fast partners in crime for the rest of your years at gallagher and beyond. she’s the one person you trust more than anyone in the world. and that’s a bit more important than love, at least to you.

"don't look at me like that," you laugh, waving your hand dismissively, "just tell me what you mean."

"there's an opening in the protection and enforcement department, if you want. you could stay here, teach a couple classes. get to know your kids a bit better," laura offers.

"don't sugarcoat it, you just want to hang out with me," you tease, "i've been living here long enough to know that you don't have any other friends."

"watch it, i'll rescind the offer."

but before laura even asked, she knew that you would accept. she's funny like that, she knows you better than you know yourself. and you think of what jack said to you the night before you packed your things and left the sixth floor: you've got a second chance here, don't waste it.

and you look across the room at your friend who's pouring you another drink and you shake your head dismissively. i won't.

irene will be an npc at gallagher academy in the fall ! she’s quit her work at the CIA and is now a teacher on the protection and enforcement track. she’s hoping to use this opportunity to get to know her kids better and...she definitely got the experience to impart some wisdom. 

are irene bradford and laura sutton endgame ? maybe. i think they’re in love and that’s why irene has never let any of the men in her life in completely but that’s none of my business. 

#gallagher:task #bye mom #death tw #blood tw

[transrightsjimin]

ariana's fans hate bts hdjfjfjfj also let's not forget that almost every fandom and journalist is looking for an excuse to discredit them. i don't mind the collab as a single i honestly don't care, to this is what boys want then sure, but if they were to feature ari on the album people would just claim that she is the sole reason it did numbers. I saw people saying that mots7 is selling so well thanks to sia when most of the fandom hates her version.. they just hate seeing bts achieve anything

ohh i didnt know that but im not surprised. i mainly see fans of both post / tweet abt wanting to see a collab between the two nd make wild theories to prove so thats what my post responded to. i get that itd be nice for them, esp since jungkook is such a big fan of hers, but im not the fondest of various artists they like or have collabed w due to their racism / misogyny (the chainsmokers in the case of both) / being a predator (halsey who had a thing for years for kissing minors on the mouth at meet & greets and a concert nd joking abt going to jail for it) or ppl who side w multiple predators (e.g. nicki minaj), not to mention the countless of cloutchasers who have tried to, and sometimes did get involved in production or collabs (counting the chainsmokers in that too, just like now w the jason derulo mess and also melanie fontana before, who claimed a song she barely added anything to as ‘her’ hit). and then theres ofc Lauv who queerbaits during his whole career lmfao

urgh ppl said that abt the Sia collab? yeah that does indeed not add up. i personally find that version of ON hilarious, and i do wish the version had turned out differently as she’s an amazing singer but that ver was rly underwhelming. but yeah to say it was successful bc of her while it was an extra song that isnt even on all kinds of releases of the album nd has found poor reception in the fandom, makes no sense. the fandom has been steadily growing over the years and become more and more well-organized in streaming, plus bts has already accomplished so much in the past w songs that didnt have major Western producers or singers attached to it.

it’s rly telling that before bts performed at big american music award shows or got picked up by the gp in the US, things like an mv w effort put into it, boy bands, and music award show viewers were considered less of the time and irrelevant, nd after, suddenly others (cough cough Simon Powell, SM ent) tried to make a group that would supposedly compete w bts in popularity, suddenly performances at music awards became more elaborate and attendance became more important, nd that some of the bigger artists bts had collabed w, hadnt reached a no.1 song under AFTER their collab.

like i hate to repeat the ‘the blueprint‘ meme but there truly has been a shift in how western music industries approach releasing and promoting music since it got to hear abt bts, and bangtan’s fandom has grown a lot over the years while the group made steady growth in their recognition. so to see ppl claim a collab is only successful bc of another artist involved, only shows wilful ignorance of the group’s history and their impact. also the ‘on ft sia is popular bc of the collab‘ argument makes no sense bc armys didnt receive the song well and the general public didnt get exposed to it much due to no promotion by fans, nor by radio which largely ignored mots7.

sorry for going on a tangent there, my thoughts are always going 100km/h, but as a final note, i do want to add that i dont think all collabs have been bad! the western cloutchasers / racists / predators / otherwise shitty ppl who have collabed w bangtan, have generally contributed not much to the song or even made demos that were a challenge for bts and other in-house producers to try to fix and try to make interesting and pleasant (e.g. melanie fontana w lyrics that had to be scrapped nd changed for 90%, also ed sheeran w make it right was discussed as a song that was only made interesting bc of bts’s changes to it and vocals).

i rly enjoyed Namjoons past collab w Wale on Change, MNEK who produced Paradise nd seems genuine in how he discusses the group, of course JUICEWRLD (r.i.p.) who did an amaaazing collab for a freaking OST for their mobile game??, ofc Steve Aoki who theyve worked w on various songs nd has mentioned nd defended the group well in interviews, MAX who collabed for a mixtape song nd included Yoongi in his own album nd had very fun interactiond for years. and then of course there are many others such as the Korean artists who get overlooked a lot in these discussions!! i especially love winter flower by Younha and Namjoon, and NiiHWa singing on yoongi’s mixtape song 28. i def think that those only seeking fame instead of creativity, audibly do not add much to their songs as cloutchasers and white westerners who are used to making hits by lifting a finger (or payola lol) dont put much effort into their work.

like, it just baffles me that ppl r hyping up a supposed collab w ariana grande based on vague theories, while there are also people like Rina Sawayama who we (and she, and bts!!) have been hoping to see work together w bts for years! like collabs are what i find the least interesting in future music, partially bc it’s all american interviewers want to ask bts abt, but if there is one, pls just let it be a genuine person, whos in it for the music and doesnt show repeated shitty behaviour.

OK rant is over, sorry it got so long!! i just never know when to stop writing gdhfjh

#asks #anon

[unordinary-analysis]

Episode 165

Honorable mentions:

Not @ how sera literally did not react to arlo saying that he had her suspended?

I know that the last time people were saying the word oof was like 2018 but I literally can’t stop i swear it only comes out when im typing.

Is seraphina aware that cecile is currently working with John? Is anyone other than the superhero posse?? 

I love cecile and i know i keep saying this but for some reason whenever i see her in scenes, i still feel like i miss her even during the scene like? I don’t know what’s missing from her appearances, but i feel like i haven’t read cecile since before the hiatus and it’s messing with me

I WANT CECILE TO FINESSE THE SHIT OUT OF JOHN NOW THAT SHE’S IN ARLO’S OLD POSITION. ARLO JUST CREATED THIS BIG CONFLICT (? wording, but i mean how he ended things with john (doesn’t sound like what i'm describing)), BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO PLAY MIND TRICKS ON JOHN PLEASE

The caps are immature i realize they lower my respectability and i’ll reflect on that. Lots of self-reflection today hm

I “talk” too much in these. Like. Notes from me, the author. I don’t like especially how much i did it in this weeks thing but we always have episode 166 so

Started this like an hour after episode 166 came out so you know im hating myself rn

But it’s here so yay

Arlo and Sera’s conversation:

    We’ve given up on names so here we are. Also, this isn’t going to be all that thorough or structured if that makes sense. I have sparse thoughts on this conversation other than ohmygod i love that this is happening. So this is probably going to be like slightly more than honorable mentions: arlo/sera edition.

    First off, the things that surprised Sera about John, or just the whole situation, surprised me. She, overall, seemed genuinely surprised about his power and some things he hid about his past. And, I mean, I get that, but she seemed almost as concerned at the fact that John wasn’t homeschooled than when she learned that he was powerful enough to be the king at his old school (grammer?). I don’t know. I’m bad at explaining. Thinking too, thinking is hard. Anyway, I noticed that she questioned the most about how bad/powerful could john really be and stuff like that. Example: “Why do you and Elaine both talk about him as if he’s some kind of monster? Was your experience with him really that terrible?” Sera had a difficult time grasping just how powerful John was. This surprised me for a bunch of reasons. 1. He’s literally? Joker? Everyone is afraid to death of him, there’s a reason why. 2. Sera literally saw John single-handedly defeat all of the royals???? Including Arlo? Arlo’s ability is a 6.5. That’s already incredible, but the fact that John managed to defeat both him and the other royals? You can’t do that unless you are insanely powerful. 3. How are you surprised that John was the king at his old school he literally dethroned a prestigious school’s (wellston’s) king and you don’t think he was the most powerful at New Bostin? 

    More on Sera being surprised about John’s past: Even Arlo was surprised that Sera was shocked. John had literally lied about having an ability to Sera, and a homeschooled background helped his story loads, what with how positive he always was at school and how he never seemed to let the hierarchy intimidate him because he hadn’t been indoctrinated or whatever. I don’t really know. Anyway, especially with the way that John has been lying to Sera big time for the whole time they’ve known each other, you wouldn’t think that she would be so surprised by this. I know that this whole thing isn’t that important, it just stood out to me though. 

    Something I’m also really confused over is the fact that Seraphina displayed literally no signs of shock after learning that John got 1. Expelled from his old school by 2. Beating up his whole grade. ????. All we get from Sera is a, “expelled…?” brutalized his classmates?” Like??? You got so worked up over the fact that he was king, but this doesn’t phase you?

    Sorry this just became me ranting about Sera and her brain because it confuses me im sorry oof.

    Something else that’s not in regard to Sera and her reactions is how Arlo describes John’s attitude towards Seraphina. I’ll admit, as he started talking about how John ordered him around and told him to look after Seraphina, I was a bit surprised by just how obsessed John seemed with Sera, though I obviously already knew everything. Having Arlo lay it all out for me was enlightening, Okay? John gives off major, and I had to google this word so pay attention, yandere vibes. I have no clue how thats different from like tsundere (? spelling?) or any of the others, but I looked at the definition and it fit what I was thinking of. The definition of yandere is: “a Japanese term for a person who is initially very loving and gentle to someone (or at least innocent) before their devotion becomes destructive in nature, often through violence and/or brutality.” So: that’s fun. And we’ve seen these traits in John towards Seraphina throughout the course of the story. John literally beat up a group of kids in an abandoned house because they hurt Seraphina, he attacked a girl because she threw something at Seraphina, e.t.c.. I think you get my point. Anyway, because the entire concept of unordinary is to mock anime stereotypes, i think that uru-chan is aware of what John’s character is (a yandere (hopefully because if i misunderstand this this is a big r.i.p.)) and is using that as a cookie cutter stencil thing for John at the moment. I’m not really sure. Anyway, this interested me a bit, realizing just how harsh and obvious John’s obsession around Seraphina was, and I always, you know, realized it, just seeing it all bunched together here made it stand out in a way it never really has to me. But also as an afternote, John also prioritizes revenge on behalf of sera over sera herself and i don’t know if that helps the yandere argument or contradicts it. oof.

    Also: because of the way that what arlo said struck me, I can’t even imagine how Seraphina herself feels. Learning that your best friend is literally basically murderously obsessed with you must not be fun? Anyway. That’s that. I probably could go on, but no more words are coming to me about this so-

    I just want to say that I need Arlo and Seraphina to become close after this please and thank you and no this does not belong in the honorable mentions because this. is . important. :)\

    And yes, we’re going to gloss over the fact that sera said she was going to have a talk with john after she thought things through because i dont even want to attempt at talking about this it’s too vague and far in the future and yet not at the same time and i don’t know what to say.

Cecile and John:

    My poor girl cecile all she wants is power and who can blame her. The lengths she’s going through: respect. Anyway, Cecile always does such a good job of riling up john, but at the same time being completely right. 

        I appreciated the explanation of how unknowingly john made things worse at wellston for seraphina. I’ve never thought about it in the way that cecile did. I think when John destroyed the hierarchy he figured Sera would be considered an equal to everybody else. But, obviously, that horribly backfired. 

    Literally don’t know what to say this section was short and there’s nothing i can really say that i haven’t

#hate this one but whatcha gonna do #unordinary #uno #webtoon #episode 165 #official #unordinary webtoon

[k-llama-llama]

the end (please read)

so here it is guys. since im presuming we’re all adults.

in the past few hours i’ve been called ‘condescending and rude’, ‘a hateful bitch’ among other things.

I said that I think Itzy was the worst gg debut of this year. i did not say, that i hate them. i did not say that i hate the girls. dislike does not equal hate.

‘good’ is entirely subjective. itzy’s current discography does not constitute what i consider to be good music, or what i like to listen to. this DOES NOT mean that other people can’t like it. they’re good dancers, they can probably sing it’s just terrible producing.

i’ve hated debuts by groups that i love before. monsta x’s debut was (and in my opinion continues to be) their worst title track. NCT is another group that i like their recent stuff, but nothing before regular was ever something i would choose to listen to.

to the person who said ‘you can say you dont hate them all you want but you havnt said 1 positive thing surrounding them’. welcome to the real world. dislike does not equal hate. i dislike tomatoes. that does not mean i hate their existence or look down upon anyone who likes them.

i know i couldn’t create music better. but i hate to break it to you all, itzy doesn’t make their own music. it’s bad producing...IN MY OPINION.

regarding the itzy storyline. I have gone out of my way to add disclaimers saying that it does not accurately represent the girls. I have made efforts to show that any conflict with tori is a result of misunderstanding and not bullying or simply hateful behaviour. and ultimately, it’s fiction. so i have license to do what i want. i choose not to portray real people in a hateful light, but i have made efforts to portray them as human.

that storyline has been abandoned. itzy will not feature in any further posts unless by passing mention. they were going to become friends with tori, but i’ve decided to scrap that entire storyline.

to the person that sent this ask;

‘You suck at admitting your wrong. You badmouthed itzy and now your getting backlash. You can’t just use the “it’s my opinion” when hating. It’s no longer an opinion, your just hating.’

firstly. thanks for spamming my ask box and calling me a hateful bitch among other things. secondly, your first two sentences are a contradiction. i don’t need to admit i’m wrong. because i wasn’t. i expressed my opinion. there’s something called free speech, and i criticized their music. if at any point i was vague and you misunderstood it as hate towards the girls, fine, that’s on me. but of the gg that have debuted this year, they continue IN MY OPINION to be the weakest musically.

i understand this is a long and ranty post. but i’d just rather say everything i have to say.

if you want an apology. you won’t get one. my opinions are my opinions and i have a right to them.

if the itzy stories bothered you. please feel free not to read them. there’s three, i have well over a hundred other posts for you to read.

people have different opinions, and people’s opinions change. i am 10000% certain that every single person that send in a hateful or criticizing comment has disliked the music of a kpop artist at some point, or thought that one artist wasn’t worth the hype. weirdly, i’ve never felt the need to send anonymous hate to someone who has a different opinion than me. funny how that works.

so. moral of the story. 

you didn’t hurt my feelings. does it suck to see my ask box full of hate, yes. but if you have a different opinion than me, you’re welcome to send it my way if you’re willing to have a civil discussion.

thank you, to the itzy fans who sent comments genuinely expressing their opinons, without calling me names. you are the type of kpop fans i respect.

to everyone else. i hope you consider how ridiculous this entire thing was. and no matter how many times you call me a bitch, i will continue to put out 3+ fics a week for you all because it is something i genuinely enjoy.

thank you guys for reading. i will answer asks regarding this, but only ones that are civil.

have a lovely evening everyone.

[zeravmeta]

Ok so, my thoughts on the VR ending and VR overall as the 6th entry.

Also because most of my thoughts aren't...complimentary im editing the names so they dont appear in the general tag. This also got LONG so readmore.

The Good:

- A//i's character still managed to be the one thing that saves VR as a show for me. Even with all the weird...contradictory plot issues, A//i still manages to be a compelling character who brings up the question of the right to live. I actually do like how he made it so itd be an ultimatum that he loses in either way, even if the ending kinda ruins the weight behind the action (which I will get to in a bit).

The meh:

-the ending was left somewhat open to interpretation which for a show as...empty as this was works out but honestly it was so vague as to A//is fate is that it may as well not exist.

The Bad:

-The main conflict behind the entire show is...simulations. No joke. Every conflict in the show can be traced back to someone doing a simulation and deciding to lose it. Even if they gave the (rather stupid) explanation that AI experience simulations like actual life (which btw the first villain wasnt an AI so this reason doesnt work), the fact that Yu//sa//ku took a bullet for one of A//is robot bodies that he literally has millions of is...just stupid and there solely for the "uwu drama".

-They actually killed A//i off but wait hes actually alive, so like the final duel literally had no purpose aside from...drama??? The episode is called Compromise and yet A//i had to lose just to keep Yu//sa///kus win streak and theres no compromise whatsoever. Yu//sa//ku litetally destroys the CompromA.I.se card so its just, no comrpomise in any way.

-This....wasn't a happy ending??? I have no idea why both the show and the fanbase frame this as a happy ending bc think about it in context: A//i pretty much loses everything, so does Yu//sa//ku who just isolated himself from everyone else for 3 months in order to comb the network for whatever remnants of A//i exist.

- So many of the supporting characters are just...there. Like, there is no side/supporting character who actually has a character arc in this show. Lets go through the list: Ao//i is pretty much the same character as when she started and goes through 2 unnecessary costume changes for a character growth that isnt there because she has literally ONE victory against an opponent that was stated multiple times to be weak and faulty and have her lose and tortured multiple times for no reason whatsoever, G//o had this weird deterioration that may have lead to something but ultimately didn't, Ak//ira is pretty much the same, J//in has ALL HIS TRAUMA ERASED SO THERES THAT, literally the only side characters who have some sembalnce of an arc are Sho//ichi (the best one anyways) from his "betrayal" in S2, and E//ma with her reconciliation with her brother. Outside of that, nothing. Yu//sa//ku, Re//volv//er and Ho//mu//ra are pretty much the only characters with an arc and even then they're not too solid? Which brings me to-

- Yu//sa//ku has been so wildly ooc since the end of S1. Ive seen so many say that his enphasis on bonds and friendship are character growth but actually looking at the sequence of events he suddenly just like. changes completely around his first duel with Ea//rth. Plus, the message of "revenge is good" was always so weird? Like, he got his revenge so all his trauma is ok now and never brought up or explored again aside from within the first 20 episodes. Theres nothing about it after that and its never built upon. The whole point of a revenge arc is to show that its BAD and yet he starts preaching that revenge is wrong AFTER he successfully gets revenge??? And even then its not exactly a revenge as it is more lashing out since it was Ko//ga//mi who was behind it all. Yu//sa/ku was definitely at his strongest characterization in S1 where we see how badly the Lo//st Incid//ent hurt him but S1 had its own share of problems that led into S2 and so many random plot threads that never went anywhere (such as the Anot//her Incid//ents, the Cy//berse deck being irl despite that A//i didnt have a physical body before then, The Bl//ue Mai//den meetup that was repeated by Nao//ki like 10 times in S2 which seemed to be leading up to something but never did, and the fact that theres 4 recap episodes in S1 already spelled some early problems). So much of the supporting cast function to just say "he turned this whole situation around...with ONE card..." i kid you not watch back every Yu//sa//ku duel I GUARANTEE you'll see someone saying hes a great duelist and serve only that purpose. ALSO THE END OF THE SHOW IS JUST MORE DRAMA?? They make him suffer for no reason other than that they can??? What purpose does his suffering at the end serve aside from just "uwu...poor baby..."???

-Re//volv//er is not a good rival. At all. He's so incredibly bland because much like Yu//sa//ku he was at his strongest characterization in S1 where he actually had some solid motivation in continuing his fathers work and being unable to accept that his dad was evil, yet most of that just flies out the window with all the collateral he's willing to inflict with the K//O//H?? All his character amounts too post S1 is "yeah i told you robots are evil and YOU didnt believe me". The most we got of him growing out of this mindset was calling A//i by his name exactly one time and nothing ever again. Also the fact that in the end we see him and his crew working for S//O//L despite the fact that they were gonna turn themselves in for their crimes just. leaves a rotten taste in my mouth. hes not a good rival at all. All he proves to me is that a good design can get anyone to like a character.

- Ho//mu//ra is...there. I literally cant say anything about him because he absolutely has the strongest motivations of the three but then the show jumps through hoops to push him to the back of the other two. He also has a bunch of early victories I do feel are undeserved (ESPECIALLY the A//oi duel that one pissed me off so much). Also the fact that the show just made him Yu//sa//kus friend immediately whereas it took Sho//ichi several months to get Yu//sa//ku to warm up to him just had me :/.

-The speed duels were a cool concept but they just became these huge cheat fests? Seriously Play//Maker uses StAccess literally every speed duel to pull out a new monster from whatever plot holes the writers need to patch up. I am not kidding. You can go back to every single speed duel Yu//sa//ku was in and youll see this. Skills just werent a good mechanic because when a protag pulls a new card its supposed to be representative of some growth/characterization but he stays the same pretty much throughout the entire show up until S2 where he wildly just switches personality. Plus the fact that Que//en could literally use a skill whenever just shows that it was cheating???

- The villains were overall lackluster. Boh//man was the best because Re//volv//er is just flat whereas A//i struck me more as an anti hero. And again: simulations are the enemy. Light//ning ran one and decided to go ham. Kog//ami ran one and decided to go ham. A//i ran one and decided to go ham. The conflicts are all the same and it just makes things happen rather than following a consistent plot thread? I will say that Boh//mans characterization of a hive mind to become perfect does strike my tastes but thats more my personal preference in villains rather than any merit he has.

- This is a bit of a personal pet peeve but I've seen some of the praise to this show about being the "darkest Y//G//O to date so therefore its good" and im just...no? Edge does not make a good show and just because they lightly focused on the tragedy in Yu//sa//kus life (and it IS lightly because its barely touched upon after mid S1) most of the stuff that happens in this show is pretty tame in comparison? The most that happened here was an attempted global hack of everyones minds from S2 and destroying the internet in S1, with a few references to the torture that happened during the Lo//st incid//ent. To compare: the previous series had this huge interdimensional war that, even if they could reverse the carding of people (which makes Den//nis' attempted suicide even more tragic), ended with an entire dimensions full of brainwashed soldier children, a dimension with huge class inequality that was still being heavily worked upon since there were canonically slaves, and a dimension that was savaged by a genocide and total global destruction. Hell, the series before that had a huge war where the arc actually did focus on the tragedys the characters faced and held consequence (even if they pulled a dbz revive everyone at the end). And as far back into the very first series there were even more graphic depictions of war and death? Idk i feel like people are overplaying the edge here just to find a way to complement this show.

Overall:

I'm...genuinely dissappointed. VR really had so many strong starting points but it all just fell apart at execution. Really the only reason I even bothered to watch it as kong as I did was because Im a longtime fan of the series and wanted to give it a chance rather than jump on whatever love/hate train the show has. Its been rated poorly on the JP side and most of the approval is a vocal minority. Just to be clear: this isnt me bashing the show, my opinions are mine and you can agree or disagree to any capacity, and even if a show isnt well written you can still find a reason to enjoy it despite the flaws.

But if Im being perfectly honest? I do not like this show. It's rushed, choppy, has no consistent or clear plot threads, most of the genuinely interesting characters are wasted for the protagonist to look better and he never really does because he ALSO has an interesting idea behind him but it never goes anywhere. It started strong but ended so poorly. Id be angry but im more dissappointed because Ive watched this show from day 1 and wanted to see the good things it has rather than focus on the negatibes but. yeah. This show really had potential and yet it just fell flat.

#zerav meta #zerav review #vr review #i really went ham on this one

[kaialone]

Quick question. I saw on twitter that you mentioned that the Shadowside had things set up, but were changed after Hino stopped writing. You said something about Junior, but were there any other things you think were supposed to be different. Genuinely curious, because I haven't noticed anything, but I'm usually not very good at noticing these types of things. (Love your blog, and I hope you have a nice day!)

Thank you! (Sorry for the slightly late response ^^;)

Well, I’m not sure if I have much to say on this, I don’t have any actual background information of course, there’s just a bit one can read into it.

It’s gonna be a bit long, so I’m putting it under a read more.

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The first episode is written by Hino, and in it we see some set ups that don’t really get picked up much afterwards.

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One simple example is actually that Movie 4 and the PV for the first episode still used the OG tribes, Charming, etc, but by the time the first episode came out, the Charming symbol on Jibanyan’s arc was changed to Mononoke, from the new system. This means at that point, the new tribe system was just getting invented, and it also indicated Shadowside was kinda suffering from the fact that it was made before YKW4, so changes in mechanics like this were harder to implement.

I feel this is prolly why we don’t got tribe songs anymore, which is a real pity. Like Shadowside the anime couldnt have them, cause the tribe system was literally still being invented as the show was made, and YKW4 the game couldnt have them because well, gotta stick to what the anime did.

But thats more a mechanics thing and isnt tied directly to the narrative.

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For a narravtive example, the first episode is mostly told from Keisuke’s perspective, and while I don’t think that has to mean he was going to be the main character at some point, it did make it seem like there was at least  the idea of more character development for him.

It made sense to start the series with him, since he has this outsider perspective, but it also sets him up as this easily frightened kid who denies the supernatural. So in the first episode, a major point for him is accepting the existence of yokai, partially through the help of his deceased friend, who has become a yokai.

The episode ends with him saying to himself “Yokai definitely exist, I know this because my best friend is one”.

And yet, immediately afterwards in the next episode, we see Keisuke trying to calm himself by singing “yokai dont exist at all”. Now, one could do something interesting here, like Keisuke fluctuating between what he wants to believe, and have some conflict with that, but

From that point on, all Keisuke ever does is be frightened as a running gag, like the once per episode rule is that he gets scared by the yokai of the week, and thats it. He gets one or two episodes, but even those dont do anything with his character.

In episode 1, Keisuke was a multi-faceted character who happened to be easily frightened and insecure. Every episode after that reduced him to the single trait of “scared”, which maybe a little bit of sass sometimes, but everyone is sassy in the YKW animes.

And then in the final episodes he gets the confidence to help out, but there isnt really much that causes it, outside of a speech from Junior, but in either case, like 50-ish episodes of 0 character focus doesn’t get undone by a tiny bit of focus at the end.

Adding to that, another interesting thing is that like, even though Bourei Banchou is literally his best friend, he never has any interaction with Keisuke again, really.

He gets summoned once in episode 5, where he is taken out in 1 hit with no lip service, and then he is summoned again in the finale as a bit of a nod, but there is no real character there.

What makes this interesting is that in merchandise, Bourei Banchou was actually shown to have a Lightside, Banchō, whom we even get to see some anime-style render of on some cards/stickers:

Considering the development of YKW4 was probably really early at this point (see the part about tribes) it’s unlikely they wouldn’ve created this design unless it was meant to be in the anime.

And when you look at him, he has very typical Yokai Watch sidekick look, doesnt he? So based on that I feel it’s likely that at some point, Banchō was meant to be Keisuke’s yokai partner, and be shown hanging around him and be an actual character and stuff.

But who knows.

One might say “well I don’t care about Keisuke, so I’m glad this didn’t happen” or something, which is a valid opinion to have, I’m just saying it seems obvious there was something dropped here.

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Next we get the “Kaima” aspect. In episode 1, Fukurou’s dart hits a human which transforms him into a “Kaima”, which is what “Wicked Yokai” are called in Japanese, but the Japanese term has slightly different connotations, so…

Anyway, the question in hindsight is like: What the heck was that about?

This never happens again.

In episode 2 he hits the boy, but it doesn’t transform him, it shoots “evil” at Charlie the bike yokai, and Charlie turns bad.

After that he accidentally hits Jinta while trying to hit a human? And I think from that point on he either misses all the time or just hits the yokai directly.

And we never really get any explanation of what these darts even are, really.

Like, we know that supposedly it’s to look for the princess, but why?

Why does hitting humans and/or yokai with evil darts help?

One could assume make it’d awaken the Princess, but then why did he aim for what was clearly random punk jerks?

Did only Fukurou have those darts? If yes, how? And if yes, why was Shuten Douji not upset when Fukurou perished, at the very least over losing those darts?

Why did it only transform people in episode 1? In the very finale, we get people being transformed again, so I feel it maybe have at some point been tied to that, if they had a vague idea of what Soranaki was going to be yet.

But it’s clear there’s specific details that were meant to different.

Also, given what we learn later, why was Fukurou serving Shuten Douji, considering Shuten Douji’s main agenda is eventually revealed to be tied to restoring the power of the Oni Tribe, which Fukurou is not a member of.

It’s not like Shuten Douji has countless minions, he just as Douketstu and Fukurou, so I really gotta wonder why the latter is there.

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Lastly a bit about Junior.

Now, Junior does not appear in the first episode, so this has less to do with Hino’s writing in particular, but I still think there might’ve been different intentions for Junior originally.

In the show itself, Junior is eventually revealed to have been born from pieces of Jibanyan’s body, and that’s really it. Despite this reveal, Junior doesn’t even get any major interactions with Jibanyan.

That in itself kinda feels to me like the anime writers didn’t have much of an idea of what to do with Junior, like they do with most characters.

And in any case, I really do think that originally, at some point in the production, Junior was meant to be born from Jibanyan and Whisper.

I’m not saying he was meant to be their literal baby, but I think he was probably meant to have been created in a similar manner to the show, but with parts of Whisper involved as well.

I mean, Junior’s design invokes traits of Jibanyan and Whisper alike in such a way that I have a really hard time to believe this wasn’t the intention at first.

There’s another reason I believe this, too.

Before Shadowside the anime was out, Hino showed of some early art during an “Inazuma Walker” stream, which mostly focused on Inazuma Eleven, but has some other stuff, too.

When Junior was shown, his co-host jokingly said “Well, everyone can tell this the child of Whisper and Jibanyan”, to which Hino replied “Um, it’s a bit different.”

While Hino does say that “it’s a bit different”, I also feel the co-host probably wouldn’t have made the “it’s Whisper’s and Jibanyan’s kid” joke unless there was a bit of truth to it?

But this is only speculation on my part again, I could be wrong.

Regardless of what Junior’s origin was going to be, we can also see early teasers of YKW4 showing him next to Natsume, almost like a counterpart to Whisper&Jibanyan for Nate, and Nekomata for Shin.

This makes me think that earlier on, Junior was possibly intended as Natsume’s main yokai “sidekick” or at least one of them, possibly fulfilling a role to her that would be similar to Whisper and especially OG Jibanyan.

But in the final product in both Shadowside and YKW4, Junior is more of a tag along, who doesn’t have a particular bond with any of the human characters.

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Alright, those were just some of my thoughts, I hope this is what you were asking about?

Note that I have no idea what the behind-the-scenes of YKW looks like, this is just speculation. And even if I was right, that doesn’t mean any of this was done “behind Hino’s back” or the like. Even when he’s not writing directly, he could still be approving of any change, as far as I know.

To me it just personally felt like the anime writers couldn’t, or didn’t want to, follow up with some of the set-ups Hino made, not just story-wise, but especially characterization-wise.

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#yokai watch #yokai watch shadowside #yokai watch 4 #reply

[vacantbloodbones]

The Disappointing Crimes of JKR

so it’s 2 am and I have a fight to finally get home (i’ve been MIA for a while because I needed a vacation tbh) THIS IS A LOOOONG ONE, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! but on one of my flights I finally got to watch FB2 and it’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts. Like, I knew the disappointing confusion I was signing up for... I had seen SO many YT reviews on the film and from HP fans to just FB1 fans had gathered their opinions... and it was all negative...  So I had my apprehension going into watching this (thank fuck it was free) and I’ve got a lot of my own opinions to say... So if you are aware of myself, you know that I actually loved FB1 and how the flow and characters went. Genuinely, I think as a stand alone film it was actually a good, comprehensive piece of story and film; you had exposition, build up, character development, tension, climax and fallout/outro/conclusion...  So, what went OH SO WRONG in FB2, in my humble-ass opinion?  Well, lets get into this adventure with me, pals... stick with me as I rant my good ol’ heart out, grab some snacks, a drink, maybe some liquor of choice (in my case).  In the beginning, there was... well, absolute confusion??? For an entrance into a film, especially a franchise that has a previous film, I firmly believe there needs to be SOMETHING that explains and ties the previous entry to the latest one... Especially since this series hinges on a handful of characters (Newt, Tina, Credence, Grindelwald, and Queenie + Jacob) and to just throw us into Gellert’s VERY confusing transfer to Europe’s Ministry to answer for his crimes... The intro threw me off; there’s a time jump and there’s an extreme LACK of having our previously established characters development and fallout from the first film being EXPLAINED so we (audience) can make a connection to this next entry.  Like, Credence’s survival (yes, I’m well aware of the deleted scenes that were actually supposed to be shown at the end of FB1 according to Yates...) because we don’t get to connect the dots on screen of HOW and WHY Credence and his Obscurus survived with the additional information of his Obscurus being HANDLED (like, wasn’t the premise of the previous film the urgency of how this THING was going to KILL him and EVERYONE in NYC?), him finding his adoption paper, getting to Paris and into a travelling circus (which, also... makes no sense??)... We’ll put a pin on that for a bit here...  Also, Tina and Newt’s relationship; we really are left wondering how and why they are even romantically involved as the first film established them as strangers to mutual friends at the end... Something that should’ve been shown on screen could’ve been Newt choosing to continue his Beasts studies and books over staying and risking himself being in America for his love interest, Tina. Again, put a pin on that for now...  But instead, I just felt the into to the film was as vapid as JKR’s writing when she simply just doesn’t care for CONTINUITY and actually making sense of ANYTHING.  But nnnooooo, we just get an hour and a half of meaningless exposition and threads that aren’t even expanded or given closure to...  Gellert putting Abernathy as his doppelganger really pissed me off, because we never are shown an inkling as to WHY Abernathy chose or perhaps had always been on Gellert’s side (could’ve even expanded on the idea of Abernathy playing a role in Percival’s capture/implied death in the first film)... Even Seraphina doesn’t mention or show ANYTHING about their most powerful wandless wizard being GONE... he was SOMEONE alive and WORKING in MACUSA for a substantial amount of time... that had connections, powers above anyone, and obvious trust and influence to Seraphina... which also begs the question, why is there such a heavy emphasis on Gellert using his wand magic, when he had been using wandless while impersonating Mr. Graves?  Now, to get into another huge issue; character development continuity: How did the time jump from the intro give us very DIFFERENT characters than the one’s we had been introduced, learned to love/hate be turned into vacant shells of all their development?  Like, I’m sorry but what in the actual FUCK did JKR do with Queenie’s character? She seemed like a genuinely sweet and subtly powerful witch that used her gifts to her advantage... to this, desperate, powerless, and lost character? The Queenie we were shown had a sparkle for adventure and curiosity that gradually came to admire Jacob and truly was heart broken when his memory was erased--to kidnapping him, putting a love charm against his will, and forcing him to go to London with her? She acted the very opposite of who she is and she seemed to have strong morals to stand by her sister’s side, help no-maj’s out, and using her powers for what she felt was right.... To being hapless in Paris, because she wouldn’t own up to her kidnapping and using magic on Jacob against his will, and then DECIDING to JOIN Gellert’s very VAGUE AND STRANGE CULT.  Newt seemed more like a confused boy the entire installment with flashes of him and his abilities with connecting to beasts, thrown into this second installment as a reminder that “fantastic beasts” is in the title of the movie...  Also the broken up dialogue; I DIDNT GET A SINGLE STRAIGHT ANSWER IN ANY GODDAMN CONVERSATION HELD BY ANY CHARACTER! like WOW for a two hour+ movie I got ZERO dialogue that made me go ‘ahhh i get it now!’ no, everyone was running away from each other like a grade-school gym dance.  Jacob was still, sort of, Jacob... but he and Newt’s friendship didn’t feel authentic in this film as it did in the previous. The banter (or lack thereof) was kind of just a callback to me of saying ‘ahahaha, dont you remember Jacob being funny in the last movie????? well look at this funny moment thats totally not needed!’  EVERYONE AVOIDING EACH OTHER FROM MISCOMMUNICATION LIKE THEYRE TEENAGERS REALLY MADE THE ADULT TONE OF THE LAST FILM JUST FALL FLAT... I had screamed internally every time some interaction happened and then someone RUNS AWAY! like, aren’t they adults??? even HP films has young TEENS being more accountable and willing to talk than every adult in this MOVIE.  Lets get into Gellert’s confusing vague cult of reasoning; Gellert’s wishes and aspirations and him killing people and children to comparing his reasoning that he will stop WW2 with his hookah skull... just didn’t make sense, I’ll also add that Gellert’s LACK of character really just pissed me off, like, Voldemort wasn’t revealed until waaaay later and even when he was a face on the back of someone’s bald ass head; made a more CONVINCING and REASONED character with his motives. Gellert just seemed like a casual shit disturber and running a murderous vague cult because Albus won’t do shit and he knows it... He’s like an angsty teenager that never got had someone sit and hug it out type deal. Also, the way he treats his followers and the lack of showing HOW he got so many followers; like, I’m sorry but how did this angsty man-baby get followers???? Oh, right, he used his words that... AGAIN, fall goddamn short even when we FINALLY got to see his “gathering” and “speech” that was so hyped for almost 2 hours... It didn’t make sense to his reasoning or why he was acting out IMHO.  Alright, now let’s get to the character introduction... or really, half-assed intro to the many people I COULDNT CARE FOR... Expect my personal surprise with Theseus, we’re introduced to a man that seems more compelling and complex than Gellert (seriously tbh). Somehow we’re led to believe a guy who constantly (as we’re shown) to reach out to Newt that HES the one making their relationship complicated? When it becomes apparent that Leta and Newt are the two with complicated history and Theseus loves them both deeply????? Enough that he just stands back knowing damn well Newt and Leta have a past but he’s secure in his relationship between all both people he just wants them all to get along. Now, I get that Theseus wants Newt to be an Aura, but we’re also shown he has his reasons to help Newt (ultimately); Theseus showed more character development than ANYONE in this ENTIRE MOVIE (well Albus is second in this) but him CHASING HIS BROTHER TO GET ANSWERS is somehow ‘BAD TEMPER’ according to Tina... like really, almost all the female characters were lacking level-headed sanity purposely written by JKR so I would resent the characters I had grown to actually like???? Nagini is just thrown into the plot as a mother-like figure for Credence but Credence is displayed as some selfish man-child, he can’t reason with Nagini and it leads to their strange relationship ending with Nagini feeling betrayed. And then there’s Leta and her over-played storyline to be cut short by her sacrifice that literally didn’t do anything for the plot but make me want to punch a wall because Theseus is left with a broken heart and a brother who will ditch him in a minute to talk to Albus...  There were other characters that were so lacking in development that if any or all of them died, I felt like I could still sleep like a baby knowing that JKR had made such shitty vapid characters and lack of development, I felt NOTHING for practically everyone. Albus, Theseus, and Queenie had the most emotional complexity but even then, I’m giving them kudos because everything else was lacking so much I clung onto whoever threw an emotional fit first.  The whole dynamic between Albus, Gellert, and Credence really just angered me. Red herring the entire premise of Credence wanting to know his identity so DESPERATELY he was willing to join Gellert’s vague emo posse of a cult, only to be revealed as not a Lestrange (which we had been hyped tf up to know) as, instead, THE BRO ALBUS AND NOBODY IN THE HP UNIVERSE APPARENTLY KNEW OR WAS EVER EXPLAINED JUST WHY ALBUS’ BABY BROTHER IS ON A BOAT TO AMERICA (i’M GUESSING THIS EXPOSITION WILL BE EXCRUCIATINGLY TOLD ONLY TO BE SOME OTHER LIE AND BAM CREE IS DEAD)???? But YES lets not elaborate on the queer baiting of Credence, Albus, and Gellert... JKR just wanted to hype us up for nothing and all of Credence’s development and complexity is summed up to ‘lol ur a dumbledore, cree’ really is a slap to the face. Albus being trapped a majority at the school was a half-ass way for us to not have Albus confront Credence to get him to fin d his answers at Hogwarts... Lets be real.  But basically, everyone wasn’t themselves, people we were introduced to were flatlined or placed in stereotypical tropes, and every exposition turn was a red herring thats never elaborated on or concluded... the lack of goddamn comprehensive dialogue, and we got queer baited by the ever infamous JKR....  and my final take: WHERE THE FUCK IS PERCIVAL GRAVES?????  So, this was my long-ass ranting about this movie and why I probably watched it for the criminal reasoning to hurt myself and be disappointed in the end... Was i surprised? NO.  Am I going to watch the next installment... maybe... just for closure to this epic failure of a second installment.  Thanks for making it to the end, I hope this was less painful than the actual film. 

#crimes of grindelwald #fantastic beasts #FB2 #spoilers #rant #thanks for tuning in #cog spoilers