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procrastinatorproject · 2 years

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After S2E6 of Star Trek: Picard, I was feeling really disappointed and angry about how the writers were so deeply disregarding anything and everything from season 1. We can debate whether season 2 was well-written in its own right (after watching the season finale today, I certainly have Thoughts), but nobody can argue that it was a satisfying continuation of season 1.

Even the characters who got some great development (i.e. Seven of Nine and Picard, unsurprisingly) were fairly divorced from where we saw them in season 1, without the writers ever giving a really satisfying reason for it.

I might, at some point, have the energy to properly go into all of this, but for now, here is how my post-episode-6 rant ended. I feel this ever more strongly tonight.

I really loved season 1. I loved that all the characters were broken in their own ways but still managed to work together towards a goal, I loved how they coaxed each other out of their misery. I really liked the budding relationship between Agnes and Rios. I feel a deep kinship with season 1 Agnes. I thought the themes and worldbuilding were really fascinating, even if the writing didn't always do them (or Agnes, for that matter) justice.

That world and those characters have essentially been my home for the last two years and the stories (and the friends I found through them) got me through some of the darkest moments I've had in my life so far.

It would be one thing if the season 2 writers had said: "Okay, we think season 1 had some glaring flaws. We think it won't hold as the foundation to build two more seasons on top of, so let's find a way to sensibly strip it down to the studs and build out again from there." (I personally would have preferred the approach of "Okay, it's a bit wonky, let's reinforce what's there so it will be strong enough to carry what we're building on top of it", but I didn't honestly expect that to happen.)

If the season 2 writers had taken the characters and looked at them -- really looked at them and where they ended season 1 -- and done even the bare minimum to lead us into where they are in season 2, I would have found that a little sad but been willing to take it as good writing.

Instead, sticking with the metaphor, it feels like the season 2 writers went in like: "Okay. We like the cornerstone of this building (Jean-Luc Picard), but everything else is an unsalvageable mess. Look at it! It looks completely different from everything that came before and doesn't properly pay homage to all these older building styles! So we're going to take a few bricks, chip away at them and put in filler until they work for the new building we want, and then we're going to build something completely new that is much, much closer to the classic buildings all around. If someone complains that it's a disservice to the building we tore down, we can point at the handful of bricks. See? It's the same building! Just better. And also, we need to make sure that all these bits of legacy stonework get a really prominent place and we constantly show them off and talk about them, because that's why people are really here, right? Not this weird newfangled business."

Meanwhile, I'm sitting in the ruins of the house that has sheltered and supported me for two years and am wondering what the fuck I'm supposed to do.

Sure, I still have blueprints and photos and like... a model replica of the house. And I have my little shovel and pile of mortar and I can reconstruct and build it out and fill in the gaps. But most of the people have moved to the new house and are yelling about how much nicer it is over there and how I'm stupid for even appreciating this dilapidated shack of a building that was poorly constructed and mostly held up by the strength of its admittedly pretty bricks.

Fortunately, I know I’m not alone in the rubble. I have my friends, sitting in the ruins with me, and we’re going to rebuild something out of this once the dust has settled.

But the loss is still intense.

#star trek picard #star trek picard season 2 #picard spoilers #i just feel so broken

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nocek · 9 months

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Is it a stupid idea? Yes. Did I have to go overboard and animate it? No.

But I had to and I'm not sorry ;P

#peter b parker #spiderman #mayday parker #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #miles morales #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv #tbh i notice that i have this group of fave characters that really fall under category of #i need to wrap them in nice fuzzy blanket and give them a hot cocoa #and miguel kinda pings my blanket and cocoa senses #but more like in an impending doom sense?#like he is going to get his ass kicked so much in the next movie #beyond is so going to be like you like this broken man?#hold my beer we can break him some more #i can just feel it in my bones #because for right now he pings my need to spray him with a water like a naughty cat he is an then hold him in air jail till he calms down #which objectively is a bad idea #unless you are this sunshine idiot spiderman that i love #and here is long story long why this comic happened :B

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stevenrogered · 23 days

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Buck’s perception vs Eddie’s reality

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inkskinned · 7 months

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am i gonna put you in the book acknowledgements am i gonna be able to say your name without flinching am i ever gonna get a word in edgewise am i ever gonna recover the time i spent with you. computer virus kid; i arrived in your life already begging to be let in. somehow insecure i could even be your friend. like you had a line outside the door and we were all shifting our weight, begging.

you're so fucking good at that - at making people feel like they need to earn you, like you're a commodity none of us can afford. no kindness or careful communication could work on you - you were so good at just going-ghost, about deciding someone just wasn't cool-enough. something about that is super ironic. even the parts of it that weren't romantic felt like a romance book. i wanted you to like me so badly i scrubbed myself clean just so you'd spare me - what. your favor? a look?

okay okay okay. it's just a friendship - if it was even true that we were friends, if you even saw me as someone you trusted. on reddit someone would tell me girl literally just cut her out of your life, it's not that difficult. even i was aware of how fucked up the whole situation was. like, why the fuck do i even care about your approval? you're like, not even that fun to be around. you are often a little bit cruel.

but for almost four years of my life, i thought i had found someone like me. somebody who liked the same things i do. someone who liked to read and who liked making jokes with esoteric references and who spent maybe too much time on the internet and who was absolutely a little bit pretentious. i don't know, something about that was powerful and addictive.

i keep thinking about our last conversation. about how i said - okay, enough is enough. you pushed me too far, you really hurt my feelings.

and how you laughed and said - you think you're the victim?

#spilled ink #warm up #writeblr #she physically assaulted me and then screamed in my face #but not before sh'ing first and blaming it on me #while she was locked in my bathroom. at 1 in the morning #while i begged her to please just calm down and to try taking a deep breath and to go to sleep #and then she was like - ur just like my abuser #bc she had screamed in my face which was triggering to me and i froze like a deer in the headlights #and since i had shut down at that point evidently i was the problem child #i know she is out there telling our mutual friends i abandoned her and it makes me SO pissed off #like dude you spent so much fucking time forgiving & forgetting that your decrepit asshole of a boyfriend #pushed me down in the fucking hallway #but noooo hes <3 troubled <3 at 43 and divorced #bc according to you it's important that u don't '''see anyone as a monster''#but god forbid i not handle you SCREAMING IN MY FACE #i couldnt even get you to say sorry for crossing my original and only boundary you were like ''what did you want me to do''#babe i said 'the bf is not allowed around here he scares me and u said ur broken up with him'#that was the thing i wanted you to do: not fucking invite him to WHERE I LIVED #godddd typing this shit out and knowing it's only 2% of what actually happened makes me feel pathetic #i can't believe i let you treat me like that. you were a TERRIBLE friend.

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aardvaark · 11 days

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i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun

hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-

parker: i dont know

hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?

parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?

eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?

parker: that’s what i said!

hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now

sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?

hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.

sophie: …….july 12th

hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?

sophie: ………… (guilty silence)

parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison

hardison:

hardison: what the fuck guys

#leverageposting #wren speaks #leverage #parker leverage #alec hardison #nate knows his birthday i guess so i didn’t include him. if he was watching the whole time he would probably say ‘idk’ to mess w hardison #they’re having this convo in nate’s apartment but it’s like 3am & he’s asleep & they’ve all broken in to hang out #parker doesn’t know either bc of her ridiculously neglectful foster parents or bc she’s parker & her priorities are simply different to most #people. her birthday is irrelevant to thievery. and sadly probably not related to fun happy memories anyway.#sophie obviously is a good enough grifter to answer confidently but she feels a little bad abt lying to her family by now #meanwhile hardison had a normal foster nana who would have known his bday. most kids aren’t safe-surrendered like eliot so assumably #hardison would have a known bday. and he likes birthdays!#and he wants to throw parker a little party even if it’s a very unconventional parker bday that involves rappelling & jumping off buildings #but he is once again thwarted by the leverage team members having the strangest possible lives #he IS gonna give them each birthday parties tho. even if he has to make up some dates & stuff #sophie’s can be the fake date she gives if that’s what she rlly wants. nate’s real birthday is on file somewhere even if he’s being annoying #rn so hardison just has to do some basic hacking. eliot would have an approximate bday such as the day he was surrendered that his parents #would have celebrated throughout childhood. and parker’s would be april 1st bc that’s alice whites bday (and YOURE ALICE!!!)#as in it’s canonically in the online info abt alice white shown in the juror no.6 job & obvs that’s april fools so it’s funny :)#and hardison has a NORMAL bday unlike SOME ppl and yes he DOES expect presents you heathens!!

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fumifooms · 3 months

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Laios Touden and autism; admiring the non-human

Do you think people exaggerate when they scream about Laios being autistic? Do you feel like it’s weird that so many people including autistics are so set on Laios, the problematic (but incredible and kind) king TM, being the most autistic that has ever autisticed? Why do we cheer on autistic people wanting to be monsters?? Isn’t that weird?

Well, of course it depends on the way it’s done, it can be done quite offensively, but long story short Kui blew it out of the park. The thing is, autistic people really do like monsters and animals and robots. Nonhuman does not mean subhuman, it just means Other. Feeling a connection with them has been shown to be an extremely common autistic experience for that very reason.

Because some people don’t understand why we autistic Tumblr Laios stans cheer “autism! Autism!” whenever he talks about monsters and feeling alienated to humans so! Here’s a post about how yes even research papers are analyzing the special connection we form with animals. I’m not even joking but Laios Touden & the mass cries of relatability with autistic people he gets and all the love for him could be used as study material and evidence for future papers because the link is that strong. Oh also I think it’s notable that being autistic and undiagnosed vs diagnosed makes a huge difference. In my experience as someone who was undiagnosed up until 18, it’s even more alienating to not know that there’s a reason why you’re different, being gaslit that you’re ‘normal’ and you just need to try harder and get with the program, etc. Personally when getting diagnosed I went through the 5 stages of grief because the thought of having been fundamentally different all your life (a difference which you will never be able to change) and mistreated for it when you weren’t “wrong” all along makes you unload all the anger and sadness and loneliness and sheer trauma you’ve built up over time. Like it’s world shattering.

So! Back to seeing dogs as family. Also I implore you to value experiential evidence when it comes to autism and other neurodivergences because brains are complicated and neurotypicals not being able to understand us well even with scientific research is like, a whole thing even though we’re right there speaking about how we feel and being right every time because the topic is literally us and how we experience the world.

Disclaimer for this whole post that, of course, no group is a monolith and everyone has different experiences or can diverge from the norm of the group, and that doesn’t diminish the validity of either side! Like, I know autistic people who have trauma with dogs and hate them. But, trends do happen, and in this case... Autism is very “My experiences with humans make me feel dehumanized in a bad and lonely way so instead I’ll dehumanize myself in a good and inspiring way”.

“I was treated like a failed human my entire life and you’re surprised that my response was to become a dog.” -Patricia Taxxon

It’s literally well recorded that autistic people relate to animals more than humans globally. With this post, besides spreading autistic Laios truthism and explaining why the portrayal hits so deep for so many, I want to show in what way this is a very specific experience and not looking at his character through an autistic lense really misses a lot of why he’s everything that he is. (Tacking allegedly onto here for legal reasons, different interpretations are valid etc etc /gen). This honestly isn’t super long though.

To define an important term, anthropomorphism in the studies and in this post means to attribute human traits to the nonhuman, which not only includes anthro furry designs but also animals irl, inanimate objects, and animated media as opposed to live action, to humanize them and empathize with them.

Paper: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/aut.2019.0027

“Dogs taught me how to hunt and socialize and work in groups”, Laios having internalized body language... So real so real. I, too, make a great dog impression. And I want to emphase the part that it helps greatly develop a sense of emotions and relationships! For Laios, he didn’t get along with kids his age, it was him, Falin and the dogs against the world. Since it’s a group of dogs too, it taught him group dynamics and social hierarchies (like with Falin being considered as being below the dogs in authority according to the dogs rip), and the importance of group coordination when hunting.

For me, I cannot like, concisely explain just how much animals were important to me developmentally. I also grew up with dogs, but like I vividly remember encounters with like hamsters as well just radically shaping my understanding of boundaries, the importance of giving something space and the way you interact with them and respect their side of it. Unlike humans they don’t really mask how they feel, it’s direct cause-effect reaction and data gathering. There are no words involved, so the focus on having a perfect phrasing and tone is gone, leaving just pure interactions.

There’s also no reason to mask how you feel either, and you don’t have to feel silly over wanting to form a connection and it showing, what, is the dog gonna laugh at you because you obviously want to make friends with it? Toshiro or Kabru might, but dogs and cats will just tell you to fuck off and leave it there worst case scenario. I often say that I think one reason Marcille is special to Laios and he feels comfortable around her is because she emotes INTENSELY, she gestures, she puts her whole body into it, her facial expressions are pretty exaggerated and her ears even emote too- like with a dog’s ears!

I think there’s def also things to be said about how he gravitated towards Izutsumi at first, all excited, was eager to sleep in the same bed as her, but in the Izutsumi sleep rating chart we see they really just casual and chill so it’s not a Laios talking to Shuro deep into the night situation just a “I like sleeping besides animals” situation and that is enough to hype him up. I love how he pet her in the extra about why Chil let her sleep with him too. He’s just so transparently eager to befriend her, even if in the end they weren’t all that compatible and he accepted that.

There are honestly so many examples I could give for this. Like Grandin the famous cow lady.

More about autism & empathy:

https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/double-empathy-explained/ (Also mentions a study in which groups of autistic, allistic then a mixed group played a game of telephone and both singular groups had similar levels of information retention, but the mixed group was significantly worse. As an autistic person yeah duh, obviously autistic people are different from one another and can have plenty of interpersonal issues, but communicating with other neurodivergent people feels pretty intuitive and straightforward and comfortable. One of the reasons why neurodivergent people tend to naturally gravitate towards each other I suppose.)

^ Paper: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5932358/ For good, extensive summary of why we relate to animals so much you can go to the “anthromorphizing and asd” section of the paper. This paper extends to our widespread liking of cartoons and robots as well. Ok so this is a whole thing I won’t get into here but this is a big reason why a lot of autistic people are agender leaning as well. Genders and queerness in general is a lot about social constructs, and being queer is being marginal to these, not fitting into boxes or challenging those social norms and conventions. Queerplatonic relationships are a great example of this, where the framework of the relationship is platonic but the intangible nature of what it is exactly is the point, not familial not anything but everything at once too, just adoration, I like to say having pets is a bit like it as well, bc obvi it’s not romantic and often not fully familial, very platonic but also sooo much cuddling and adoration and kissing and whatnot that you wouldn’t typically do with a friend or family member. I’ll talk about qpr and labels another day though.

I got carried away but queerness in Dunmeshi is something I 100% want to make a big post on one day. Experiencing the world with different guidelines and not registering things to have the same boxes, sigh. Personally I also relate to Laios on a gender level, “cis by default because I don’t care all that much but if I were to dig deeper I’m probably otherkin and I want to be socially associated with traits of monsters and animalistic rather than man/woman” sighh hard to be a cryptid in this day and age. I wish we had a term like furry but for monsters, I want to be in the fantasy or folk tale genre ty, like changelings. Goshh changelings... You know, the irl myth where people said their neurodivergent kids were fairies’ children instead of human. Diminished physical sense of self means I see myself as some unknowable black void aesthetic wise, but like in a way that simultaneously makes me feel seen. Like becoming a monster, losing your sense of self but also somehow just being simplified and seen for what you are, it’s weird to try and explain. This post is more about relating to the nonhuman than about seeing yourself as such, but like connect the dots right, that IS an important point of Laios’ character. It’s because our brains literally work different than allistics which makes us feel as other, but also because of social ostracization and functioning in a different way than society at large, living in the margin of society, being weird and non-conforming.

Meanwhile, animals and social norms... Like ok, showing your neck and rolling on the ground to show that you’re friendly and harmless and play biting might not be proper. But have you considered that it’s also fun and feels very intuitive. Play with a dog in the dog’s way I promise it is so nice and freeing. Play tug of war and growl back when they growl. Hiss at your cat to tell them they do something wrong, engage with them on their level.

Autism made social life hard, but it made animals easy. Do you have anyyy idea how good it feels to mask all day every day and feel constantly misunderstood or like you’re doing a performance but then you can just, drop all of that in the company of animals and they understand you. They understand you. You form an understanding and rapport so easily.

And this whole thing with Laios is so explicit too, with the Winged Lion saying “You’re sick and tired of the human world”. Notice the choice of words. Sick and tired of the human world. Exhausted from the constraints, sick of the mind games. It really isn’t as much about loving monsters as it is about loving the nonhuman. Relating to them because you feel that you can actually understand how they work and think, and feeling like they could understand you back as well. Animals are safe.

Like I could go on about how Laios admiring even just demi-humans like orcs is because they’re socially seen as non-humans more than any true physical thing, that they’re not bound by human society and its rules and live with their own lifestyle. But it would deal myself 1000 points of psychic damage and I am not ready to cry today. It’s idealization 100%, and like, Laios DOES want to be treated as human, to be valued, but it feels like an unreachable thing meanwhile becoming a monster is instant gratification and freedom and a sense that now no one will be able to hurt you in a way that reaches you, never again shall you be defenseless, and then if people dehumanize you then that only strengthens your sense of identity as a monster and UGHH ugh ugh.

And like. This post is a mess at this point but if you want to kinda delve into the more “why” then I recommend this Patricia Taxxon video essay. It starts out on a very different topic, but it’s all about autism and finding comfort in the inhuman. Long story short is othering made us like this also animals are just simpler to intuitively get along with.

So when I post this

I mean it. I really mean it when I say he’s me. I have never felt so seen. So many conflicting emotions all wrapped so concisely yet so intangibly woven into the whole storyline so subtly.

Not being depicted as a monster of an human being for feeling/having felt that way?? The manga understands you. The world can understand you. Other humans can understand you. You can bond with them. You can. And I think that’s a big part of Dungeon Meshi too- Laios opening up to others about how he really is and his interests, and all the bumps on the way but how it was the only way to truly get to know each other and bond. With the climax being Laios confronting head on his complex with monsters and humans, and his monster-loving side and animalistic side being exactly what saves the whole world, what saves humanity. Because Laios does value his friends, does think humanity has beautiful sides to it, he wants to help it thrive and eat and become more accepting, carving out a kingdom for misfits and demi-humans. At the end of it, transforming into a monster and being free is a daydream fantasy, and the reality of it is that Laios does belong in the world as he is, and does receive and give out love.

If you enjoyed this you’ll probably like some of my other Laios analysis! Here’s an analysis of his succubus and what it says about his relationships with other humans. And here’s an analysis about his relationship with Shuro from his perspective.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #character analysis #i guess #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #spoilers #autistic laios touden #asd #autism representation #meta #draft so old it uses the old Tumblr post editor #it would be much better if i could put them side to side rip #i also wanna do an analysis trying to pin down his level of social awareness #i love that the monster story epic saga about misfits and your place in the world on an ecosystem level is just sooo autistic so perfect #this post has a weird structure but hopefully it can showcase some things and make ppl understand and others relate! I know we're out there #hiii therians how we feeling today. Brain chemistry is weird but ours is just wired different not broken #feeling self-conscious bc even with studies this is the equivalent of going 'trust me bro I get it' which usually doesn't go well with us #Humanity is beautiful <3333 Humans are social animals broski love yourself!!!

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ride-a-dromedary · 6 months

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Halsin would tell you to go touch grass but mean it 100% sincerely.

#BG3 Musing #Halsin Posting #Halsin #go touch some grass and maybe you'll calm down #and someone just reacting so negatively to that like well you don't need to be sassy #and halsin is like ??? i'm..i'm telling you to go outside and it'll make you feel better?#i keep imagining halsin sneaking out of the elfsong to go hide in the park because it's the closest he can get to feeling #even remotely comfortable in the city and you just find him on his back staring at the peeks of sky and he looks so much better #than he did when his shirt collar was choking him and the pavement beneath him felt like a death sentence #i feel like people really get on his case for being so upset in the city and criticizing it but like...the man is literally wilting there #he's suffocating - it's like...well...like putting a bear in a cage #and expecting him to perform for you #he will be angry and wounded and try to escape #and only when you've completely throttled him into submission - broken him completely - will he stop fighting you

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agent-snowflake · 9 months

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Laughing about the fact that everyone who watched good omens 2 is now coping by watching staged, doctor who or masters of sex

#i feel you guys #Masters of sex #can’t believe I’m just watching it because I’m obsessed with #Michael sheen #we‘re all so broken #good omens #staged #Doctor who #David tennant

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rebouks · 2 months

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Oscar heaved a sigh of defeat, plonking himself at the edge of the bed. “Well, he locked his door again-.. and he’s either ignoring me, or he’s got his headphones in, or both.”

“What the hell happened yesterday?” Courtney asked, rolling toward Oscar sleepily.

Oscar shrugged; he wasn’t entirely sure. The whole evening had been a disaster from start to finish. “I don’t know, he got in a fight with that kid, didn’t he-.. and my old neighbour saw us n’ decided to reminisce about me fucking OD’ing.”

“He didn’t actually say that, did he?” Courtney’s brows knitted together in shock.

Oscar shook his head, “No, he just said some shit about how he thought I was dead in that grotty bathroom at the Mill-.. I thought Ivan n’ Rhys found me but I guess he must’ve been there too, who knows.”

“What an idiot, bringing that up at the school gates.” Courtney tutted. Oscar nodded in agreement, pausing for a moment before suggesting, “Maybe I should explain what actually happened? He knew I was lying.” Courtney stiffened, “No, he’s too young!” “I hated it when my parents blatantly lied to me though, I’m telling you; he fucking knows.”

Courtney hummed, scratching Oscar’s back thoughtfully. “I’m more worried about him fighting.” Oscar pondered for a moment before replying, “It sounds like he was just standing up for himself. If he makes a habit of it, then we’ll worry.” “Yeah, okay…”

Oscar and Courtney glanced at one another as Robin unlocked his door and bolted to the bathroom, hastily locking that door behind him too. With a quick shove, Courtney hissed, “Go, go!”

Robin leapt across the landing and threw himself into his room, his sigh of relief swiftly retreated in on itself as he swung his door shut, however; Oscar had outsmarted him, waiting behind the door.

“I’m not going!” Robin yelled, “I’m sick…” Oscar calmly shook his head from side to side, “That’s not gonna fly, is it? We both know you’re not sick…”

Robin clenched his fists tight enough for his knuckles to turn white, desperately willing himself to vomit on command, faint, have some kind of fit-.. anything would do.

“If you’re worried about-…” “I don’t give a shit about Levi.” Robin spat.

Oscar frowned worriedly; he knew Robin hadn’t wanted their holiday to end, or to go back to school, but this abrupt fit of anger was highly uncharacteristic. Surely it was still too early to be worried about the dreaded P word? He had the faint beginnings of bags under his little eyes too-.. which were red raw and puffy, as though he’d spent more time crying last night than he had sleeping.

“What’s the matter, buddy?” Oscar asked gently, gesturing toward Robin with an outstretched hand. Robin shrugged a shoulder as he crawled beside Oscar, suddenly feeling guilty for yelling. What if his father died right after he’d said something awful and mean? He’d never forgive himself.

“Is it something in particular? A bit of everything?” Robin remained silent, anxiously nibbling at a stray strip of skin on his bottom lip. “Talk to me…” Oscar pleaded.

Robin wriggled away from the comfort of his father’s arms and curled into a ball. What the hell was he supposed to say? That he couldn’t sleep all night because he kept seeing Oscar’s lifeless body on a bathroom floor, on a stretcher, in a hospital-.. dying in various awful ways again and again until he wasn’t sure what the difference was between someone else’s memories and his own imagination. That he just wanted his brain to stop and for everyone to just shut up-.. just for once, please.

Oscar didn’t know what to do with Robin’s prolonged silence. He desperately wanted to explain what Larry had been talking about, but Courtney was probably right about him being too young. Besides, he didn’t even know if that was the issue. It could’ve been Larry, or the fight with Levi, or the fact that he missed Alex-.. all of the above, something else entirely?

“I know this Levi kid is probably doing your head in, but you can’t just go around hitting people-.. it’s not okay.”

Robin knew full well that violence wasn’t the answer, but he couldn’t deny that it’d felt a little satisfying to take his frustrations out on Levi. Any normal child might’ve asked if their parents were angry with them-.. except Robin wasn’t normal, and he already knew that Oscar wasn’t mad, nor his mother, so he kept his mouth shut.

Grasping at straws, Oscar cast his mind back to when he was a child. Whenever he was in one of his moods, as his mother always put it, he just needed to know that someone would listen, and he certainly didn’t want to be yelled at or mithered-.. but most of all, he just wanted to be left alone, at least for a little while…

“You can have one day, okay? Just one.” Oscar acquiesced. Robin barely moved, giving the tiniest of nods in response.

“Alright.” Oscar sighed inwardly, tussling Robin’s ginger curls with affection before reluctantly leaving him be.

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dirtytransmasc · 1 month

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the Sully kids' reaction to Jake saying Spider "knew everything" breaks my heart.

they knew him better than anyone else, better than their parents. they knew his love for Eywa, for Pandora, for The People, for the clan, for their family. they knew he would never tell the RDA anything... not willingly at least.

they knew they were leaving because Spider would be tortured for information, he'd be forced to reveal their home, their plans, their numbers, their weaknesses. their brother would be tortured and they were being forced to leave him behind.

they knew they were being forced to find a new home, without their brother, because their dad knew he would be tortured.

#I like to think. for the sake of my sanity. Jake knew Spider would be loyal to them. that he would only blab once broken by torture.#anything else would kill me. the level of anger would be lethal.#but regardless. I think the kids would also need to believe the same thing. they *need* to think their dad has faith in their brother.#but back to the reactions themselves. the heartbreak and confusion on Kiri and Tuk's face. the way Lo'ak looks dissociated.#we can barely even see his face. but even Neteyam looks surprised and painted. even if its kept under a calm guise #(I will never let anyone convince me 'tey didn't love Spi. James. give us more about them please. more than these little crumbs)#they were just little kids and he was their big brother #he was Lo'ak and Kiri's best friend #Tuk was his baby #I feel it in my bones that Spi and 'tey were brothers with a complicated history. I know 'tey was scared to lose him.#I don't have proof but I know James is cooking up something with them #they would never believe Spider would just give them up. but that opens up their minds to so many things to think about #they had to be so scared for him and angry he was being left behind #(especially since in the comics Kiri. Lo'ak. and Tuk risk their lives to save him when he was kidnapped by Nash)#avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #spider socorro #miles spider socorro #miles socorro #kiri sully #lo'ak sully #tuk sully #tuktirey sully #neteyam sully #lo'ak #kiri #tuk #tuk tuk #tuktirey #neteyam

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rotzaprachim · 7 months

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bracha to stop looking for things on the internet that will make me angry

#At first I wanted to document the horrific reactions do war people were posting point blank #And the. As a jew. This is what you think of me? This?#That I know had gone on behind closed doors but that they were now saying openly #But now it’s jsut exhausting and there’s so much violence and I’m feeling no particular charity to many of my *own people atm #It’s just…. Broken people and the horrors they make

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kazuhiras · 7 months

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#Astarion #Baldur's Gate 3 #Baldur's Gate III #*mine #*gifs #*BG3tag #I couldn't sleep and I remember that he did that little lip upquirk and I was like man you are a big fucking stinker and I would like to te #l you that you are very handsome and very evil but also very soft and very broken and I have a lot of feelings about you but tumblr won't l #t me type anymore because apparently there's a word limit for tags so I keep having to stop and now I'm just going to cry! bye!

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uncanny-tranny · 1 month

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Something I realized (which was obvious to me subconsciously) is that... The family that vehemently didn't accept me when I first came out but now do accept me are still the same family that I am most unwilling to be open about things I feel protective over.

I remember that my dad reacted so poorly, not to my coming out, but to my transition specifically that my therapist was the one to ask if I wanted to put it on my file that I wanted nothing to ever be shared with him about my health after I broke down multiple times due to my anxiety that I would never transition. While there are and were protections for me, I was incredibly fearful at the time because I was a minor, and I was so worried that he would have prevented my transition that I couldn't have said for certain what (if any) lengths he would have gone to to prevent that.

He's grown a lot as a person, and made some commendable strides. But he didn't find out from me when I medically transitioned the second I turned eighteen, and I think that's among the things that truly made him realize the scope of the issue.

I'm not here to guilt trip parents, guardians, or other members responsible for the care of the children or teens or young adults in their care.... but this is a cautionary tale. You aren't saving the people in your care when you do this, you simply reinforce an idea that you will never care for them, never want them as they are, would rather them be shoved away.

When you give people reasons to be secretive, they will behave secretively. When you give people reasons to doubt their safety around you, they will become sneaky, defensive, and withdrawn. When you give people reasons to doubt that you value their life, they will believe that you don't care if they live or not.

#queer #lgbt #lgbtq #ally advice #transphobia #transphobia tw #i always feel the need to preface that i have a rebuilt relationship with my dad specifically...#...but that my experiences with them have served to me in many ways to illustrate... well... what NOT to do if you are in his situation #i do still grieve that my relationship with him looks very scarred and that it took a long time to get to where he is now #but i recognize that in many ways this is a product of the world and culture we live in and that he lived in #in a world he grew up gay was used as a slur. would i expect that trans people would be treated better?#and he was responsible for how he reacted but also... it's nuanced as to why he reacted so poorly #and i want people to AVOID being like he did if they EVER want a decent relationship with the other person #i want this to be a cautionary tale and that my ending is unique. not all of us are even ABLE to repair a relationship that was THAT broken #some of us die trying. some of us never get closure. some of us are in active danger because of those reactions #and that's the more common reality i have found. most other queer people have no-contact with families who pulled the shit my dad had...#...and that's - frankly - a good idea in 99.9% of cases. i will never judge someone for the way they go about dealing with that #i'm just emphasizing that i am unique in the sense that i was able to somewhat repair that

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astrolavas · 2 years

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I know for sure you made a most showing all of Hunter's official scars from crew art and whatnot, and I straight up cannot find them anywhere, do you happen to have reference photos??? I've looked in so many places (art reference struggle)

OOF. okay, lemme... make like an entire reference post lmaokxjsk

first of all, we've got the Cheek Scar. we all know this one:

(aw he looks so happy. i'm sure it'll stay that way!)

secondly, there's this scar on his left ankle:

it's on the outer side of his leg, located slightly above his ankle, and it seems to kinda "curve around" his leg too, since we can see the scar up-front as well as from the back.

then, there's the scar on his left upper arm. we can see it in the show, in dana's art, and in color design refs for the episode:

(cannot stop thinking abt him wearing the vet clinic t-shirt btw... he definitely voluntereed at camila's clinic at some point........ he must've been so happy. just helping out, taking care of little creatures.. ough. he'd love that..........)

BUT ANYWAY, the scar also seems to kinda curve around the outer side of his arm (similar to his ankle scar) and it's a little bit diagonal.

next! we also see a scar on his right upper arm, although it's only in this scene, so there’s a slight possibility it’s actually an animation error, but nevertheless! it is there, so:

it’s curved around the back of his upper right arm, horizontal.

then we have scars that dana has drawn on him but that aren’t actually drawn in the show:

an x-shaped scar on his right knee, a scar on the outer side of his left calf/on the back of his leg, as well as a diagonal scar on the top side of his left lower arm (peeking out from under his glove).

AAAAAAAANNDDDDDD...... then we’ve got the new scars, too. ow.

so............ he basically got new scars in most places belos’ goo was; probably wherever it was long enough to, uh, literally eat through hunter’s skin.. considering every animal belos had possessed before ended up being a skeleton....... SO..

new scars: - a scar on his left cheek (similar to his previous cheek scar but mirrored + slightly smaller/shorter). - a scar on his left ear (it goes allll around the back too), around his ear nick. - a scar on...... a BIG portion of his right body: it has rather “jagged” lines and it starts and goes over his nose, his entire right cheek (covers a bit of his lower eyelid too), then it continues down to his neck (probably covers the entire right half of it, up-front and from the back), it probably covers his entire shoulder.. at the Least, and then it continues on and ends at his right upper arm....... uh - a scar on his left arm. it extends from his wrist to mid-upper-arm (and also has jagged lines).

.........so! i’m in pain, i’m in agony, i’m in agony and pain and i just want him to be hAPPY.

but yeah! these are all the scars. i think

#blorbo........ :(((((((((#toh spoilers #hunter toh #nicole answers #Anonymous #also the fact that....... his new scars are the first time we actually SEE hunter get scars. and they're from belos #like all the other ones are definitely from belos as well cuz. uh. it's very much clearly implied and hinted at like it's very #very VERY clear as to where his other scars came from. VERY clear.#the entire hunting palismen scene. the post-eclipse lake flashback. him flinching. talking abt how the 'emperor is not a merciful man'#EVERYTHING. it's extremely obvious where he got his scars #but now it's....... this is the first time we see belos ON-SCREEN full-on truly give hunter scars. even if not directly it still HAPPENS #and it just makes me so................ god.#i feel so bad for him i feel so heart-broken abt him HE WAS SO HAPPYY. HE WAS SO HAPPY :(#hunter :(#my toh talk

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