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#i just say that I don’t have an opinion
haetrack · 2 days
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"girl who is going to be okay" back with the hard hour!
i know you tend to write more dominant and sexier y/ns (which i think are chef's kiss, esp the doms) but when it comes to jaemin for some reason i always imagine him with a less experienced y/n.
he wants to be oh so sweet to you, taking his time by slowly dragging his cock through your warm walls, his head nuzzled in your neck, but you just won't stop squeezing around him out of nervousness. idk why but the image of a man trying his hardest to restrain himself from going the pace that he wants, having to come to a still multiple times while all the way inside you to just take a breather and calm down, is just so hot?
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jaemin x afab!reader
wc: 6.4k
warnings: pwop LOL, established relationship, inexperienced reader, desperate jaemin, dry humping, fingering, praise, oral, protected sex, soft dom!jaemin, sub!reader
a/n: don't ask me what happened... i lost the fight against jaemin brainrot...
-
jaemin has been trying to control himself recently.
he’s always been more cautious with you knowing that you still get shy around him. he asks if he can kiss you, softly placing his lips on yours. his hands never grip too tight around your waist, and they never wander down too far. unless it’s you who’s initiating the touching, he’ll keep his hands to himself to stop the need to hold you tight against him.
even if he wants to.
it’s been an ongoing struggle recently. he doesn’t know why, but he’s been filled with the need to have your warm walls around his length. on the late nights where you’re not there with him, he’s left alone to fuck his fist, imagining it’s you wrapped around him. he’d be so good to you, taking care of your every need.
he knows that he’s supposed to take it slow with you. you opened up to him saying that you were more inexperienced and that you were open to trying things with him. you just wanted to take it slow, you weren’t in a rush. he obviously respected your opinion, but he can’t help the thoughts that flooded his mind.
all he could manage was a soft smile and a press of his lips onto yours. he couldn’t wait to have you how you wanted.
-
jaemin wants you to come onto him. he doesn’t want to pressure you into something you’re not ready for yet. 
it’s one night where you’re both watching a movie. you’re cuddled up into his side, trying hard to pay attention to the movie playing in front of you. you’re not sure what’s gotten into you, but you can’t stop thinking about jaemin. he’s not doing anything, his hand is smoothing over your side as he watches the movie. 
you keep thinking of your words from the other day. you were the one who suggested going slow, but as you’re sitting next to him now, you’re not sure how you’re supposed to hold up your words. you don’t know how to bring it up. you’re not even sure what exactly it is that you want.
you can feel heat building up in your body, your cheeks growing hot the more time you spend at jaemin’s side. you bury your head into his shoulder, and jaemin coos at the sight of you. you almost feel guilty for feeling so… like this while he has no idea. you can feel frustration build up inside you, tears threatening to prick at your eyes as you want something you’re not even used to.
you accidentally let out a soft whine, immediately slapping a hand around your mouth. you pull away from jaemin, your shocked eyes looking into his. he looks more worried than anything, his eyes scanning all across your face as he asks, “are you alright, angel? is anything wrong?”
he watches as you shake your head no. for a moment, he’s worried for you, his hands moving to hold yours as he checks over you. he’s quick to realize how your thighs are squeezing together. it’s easy for him to pick up what’s wrong with you. there’s a small smile on his face when he puts one of his hands on your cheek, “you feel hot. you need to tell me what’s wrong so i can help you.”
judging by how he’s looking at you, you can tell he probably already knows what’s wrong. you let out a shaky breath, unable to come up with any words. his thumb rubs softly into the skin of your cheek as you nuzzle into his touch. you take a deep breath before you speak, “i… i need your help, jaemin.”
he tilts his head, “with what?”
“w-want you to… touch me.” before he can do anything, you reach for his hand, placing it softly onto your thigh. he stares at it, squeezing lightly as he feels around. he’s touched you before, but there’s a difference between now and the quick, soft touches that he usually lays onto you. you’re asking him to touch you in a voice he’s never heard from you before.
he calls out your name, getting your attention as he stares into your eyes. you slowly move toward him, softly placing your lips onto his. that’s all he needs, your confirmation as he molds his lips against you. his hands hold your face, keeping you still as your hands stay on the couch. one eventually makes it to his thigh, lightly touching it like he touched you earlier.
he lets you pull away from the kiss to take a breath. he finds himself slightly out of breath, too caught up with the feeling of your lips. he wants to feel you closer to him, despite you sitting right by him. he clears his throat, “can i try something?”
you whisper out a yes. he tells you to stand up as you watch him get more comfortable on the couch, spreading his legs apart. he looks up at you, patting his thighs, “come and sit down.”
the initial nervousness comes back as you feel more heat bloom in your face. your hands squeeze into fists as you debate on what you should do. it doesn’t last long, though. there’s a need for you to be close to him, to have him hold you as you kiss him. you want to feel the heat of his body against you as he kisses you.
you move slowly as you settle yourself on top of his thighs. it’s not uncomfortable, but you’re nervous to have him this close to you. he’s smiling at you, his hands sliding up on your thighs, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin. he bats his eyelashes at you, “do you still want to kiss?”
nodding, you learn forward to press your lips onto his. you’re mindful of how you’re sitting on him, not wanting to put all your weight down on him. he’s quick to run his hands down your sides, getting you to fully sit down on him. 
he hums against you, gripping down onto your waist. he has you so close, and he can feel how warm you are against him. his tongue darts out, licking at your bottom lip. you open up slightly, letting his tongue lick into your mouth. it’s different from the soft kisses he gives you, and you welcome it as you move your tongue against his.
a soft whine escapes you, and before jaemin can try to get you to make that sound again, you instinctively roll your hips down onto his thigh. jaemin lets out an internal groan, swearing that he could feel you clench on top of him. all he’s done is kiss you and you’re already worked up. you move to get closer to him, your chest against his as he presses a hand to your back.
you roll your hips down, small noises escaping your mouth as you chase any type of friction you can get. your hands make it onto his shoulders for support as you mindlessly grind against him. 
jaemin can feel himself getting hard from the way you’re moving on top of him and from the way you’re whimpering in his mouth. he grabs your hips, shifting you right on top of his clothed cock. you don’t seem to notice at first, but when his cock twitches against his thigh, you pull away from him, staring down.
jaemin starts, “when you move like that on top of me…”
“it feels good for you, too?” 
he nods, smoothing his hand over your back, “i think i could cum just like this. whatever you do, angel, i like.”
you gasp at his words, feeling his hands snake around to your back, moving you forward against him. he lets out a swear at the feeling, moving his hands to your waist as you grind down. there’s a newfound desperation in your movements knowing that jaemin feels just as good as you feel, that you’re making him feel this way. 
you’re on top of him, rolling down your hips in a way that seems too out of character for you. the shy, reserved self that you show to him is gone, replaced with the need to get yourself off with him. you’re using him, pants of his name fan across the skin on his neck as his hands wander a little further down.
he’s no better than you. he’s letting out low grunts as his hips roll up to meet yours. his hands finally make it to your ass, giving it a light squeeze as he lets out a curse. there’s been too many times he’s had to stop himself from doing this, his hands moving a little rougher against you. he helps you roll your hips down onto him, grinding you down onto his tip.
he could easily flip you over, could pull down your shorts and panties and rut against your leaking pussy. but he can’t, choosing to be content with how he has you now. he grits his teeth, pushing away the thoughts as he hears you let out a whimper of his name. he asks with a low voice, “angel, do you feel like you might cum?”
you don’t answer right away, your whines and whimpers filling the air as you try to process what he said. you can feel him twitching under you, rolling his hips up against yours. your head falls to his shoulder, “jaemin, i need… i need to cum!”
his hands grip your hips, setting a pace for you as he grinds you harder against him. it doesn’t take long for you to cum, not when he’s holding you and letting out groans of your name. seeing you so desperate to cum pushes him over the edge, cum staining his boxers as he ruts his hips up.
there’s a comfortable silence between the two of you, heavy breaths filling the air as you collect yourselves. his arms wrap around your back, pulling you into a hug. you smile against his shoulder, your arms trying their best to wrap around his slumped figure on the couch.
it doesn’t take you long to start whining, “i’m hot and sticky all at the same time, jaemin. i think we might need to move.”
he murmurs against you, “let me hold you a little longer, angel. i liked this so much.”
“i did, too,” you press a kiss to his skin, “and as much as i did, i need to shower.”
a laugh fills the space between the two of you, “of course.” he pulls away from you, watching as you stand up on wobbly legs. to your embarrassment, he moves to walk you to the restroom, ignoring your complaints. 
-
jaemin thought that maybe just that once, you would act out on your instincts.
he noticed that you let him be a bit more touchier. he didn’t want to push anything, but he let his hands linger on you a lot longer than they used to. you didn’t even shy away when he would, you’d let his hands stay where they want to be. you’re the same, you kiss him more openly; you try teasing him a bit more, too. 
he likes seeing you be more open with him, likes seeing you feel more confident in your love. he’ll do anything you want him to if it means he can make you feel more comfortable. 
it’s another day that he’s at his apartment with you. you’ve had more time to come over, more time to spend with your boyfriend. he doesn’t expect anything because he has to remind himself: you want to take it slow. he doesn’t mind, he loves spending time with you regardless.
he doesn’t really expect you to come to him that day while he moves you both to his bedroom, a shy look as you approach him, “jaemin…”
he smiles at you, “hey, angel. what is it?’
“can we… can we do what we did the other day again?’
“what do you mean? what did we do exactly?”
you’re not dumb to not notice his sly smirk, a cat-like grin growing on his face. he knows exactly what you mean, but he’s trying to get you to say it. your face heats up, murmuring out words that you can’t even understand.
he moves to sit on the corner of the bed, his head tilting at your mumbled words. he reaches his arms out towards you, “you’re gonna have to tell me what it is that you want, baby. can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”
without much thinking, you move to sit down on jaemin’s thighs. he didn’t expect you to move like that on your own, shown by how his breath hitches in his throat. his hands don’t hesitate to move to your waist, bringing you closer to him before they drop to your thighs. his thumbs move to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, causing you to shiver on top of him.
he chuckles at the sight of you, likes how your shorts have ridden up, giving him all access to your thighs. he pushes you right on top of his bulge, and slowly grinds you down on top of him, “i had my baby waiting for too long, hm? i should’ve known you needed me, right?”
you’re already feeling dizzy from his words, trying to grind down on him already, trying to chase the feeling from before. his hands stop you, though, keeping you in place. he bites back a groan when he feels you squirm on top of him, “won’t you tell me how much you needed me?”
your voice comes out breathy, “i- couldn’t stop thinking about you. i tried touching myself, but… it just didn’t feel right without you.”
jaemin’s grip on you gets tighter, his eyes shutting at the thought. imagining you stuffing your hands in your shorts, trying to make yourself feel just as good as he made you feel. he lurches forward, caging you in a heated kiss. he can feel you try to keep up with him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you do.
he can feel how desperate you are, no restraint shown in how you moan into his mouth. you’re more unrestrained, and he loves it, loves how he’s made you like this. he’s just as needy as you are, probably even more than you are. he’s the first one to start moving, his hips grinding up into yours. he’s practically using you like a toy, groaning in your ear at the feeling.
his grip loosens, allowing you to move with him. you drag your clit along his hardening cock, clenching around nothing as jaemin peppers kisses along your shoulder. it feels just as good as last time, but you can't help but feel like you’re missing something. you want him, you need him to help you make you feel good. “jaemin, i-” you whimper, “i w-want more, please.”
he has to forcibly stop himself from grinding up to you, focusing on your words, “what do you want me to do?”
you grab one of his hands, looking at his fingers before placing it back at your inner thigh, “i-i want you to touch me. like how i tried touching myself.”
jaemin’s head tilts back, eyes shutting at your words. you can feel him twitch under you, his hands balling at his sides. he takes a breath before refocusing on you, “can you stand up for me?”
you do, moving off of him, immediately whining when you’re not close to him. he shushes you lightly when he rests against the headboard of his bed, his legs spread, eyes filled with need as he looks at you. “come here, angel. i’ll make you feel good.”
you crawl over to him, and as you’re about to face him, he turns you around so that your back is towards him. he pulls you against his chest, his head resting on your shoulder as he coos at you, “can you take off your shorts for me, baby?”
you’re a bit shy, but do so nonetheless. you struggle, too eager for him to continue. he watches you, eyes zeroing in on the expanse of skin being exposed to him. this is the most he’s ever seen of you, and you’re not even fully undressed. without thinking, he says, “you’re so pretty, angel. so pretty, just for me, hm?”
you’re quick to agree, your back pressing against his chest. you can feel his cock twitch under you, and it makes you more eager. his fingers leave featherlight touches along your thighs, inching close to where you need him most. he hums in your ear, “needed me to feel good, couldn’t touch yourself without my help. you’ll let me help you, right?”
you let out a whine at his words, squirming on top of his lap to get him to continue. he lets out a low chuckle, “my eager baby, i’ll make you feel good. just be patient.”
his fingers trace circles on your inner thighs, enjoying the small noises you let out at his teasing. you don’t try to rush him anymore, trying your best to stay still on his lap. you’re biting down on your lip when his fingers rest on the edge of your panties. he’s sitting there, so close to your heat while pressing kisses to your neck, and you’re not sure how much more you can take.
“jaemin, please touch me. i wanna know how it feels.”
he traces his fingers along your clothed slit. he immediately lets out a shaky breath when he does, realizing just how wet you are from the little touches he’s offered you. you’re like this because of him, and he knows you’ve never felt like this for anyone else. he’ll make sure you’ll never want anyone to do this to you.
“you’re dripping, angel,” his fingers press against your clit, “is it all for me?”
you gasp, hips twitch at the feeling, “y-yes! all for you, please keep going.”
he can’t say no when you ask so nicely, your sweet voice taking over all of his thoughts. his middle finger makes slow circles on your clit, enjoying the way whimpers easily begin slipping out of you. you hold onto his arm for support, your hips trying to rut up in his touch, unknowingly trying to gain more stimulation.
his other hand that’s not touching you pries your leg open, keeping it from trying to shut around his hand. you’re so sensitive, responding to the light touches with high pitched moans, whimpers of his name rolling off of your tongue. he has to forcibly stop himself from grinding into your ass, biting the inside of his cheek when he can feel himself twitching. 
he knows you need more when your nails begin to dig into the skin of his arms. his arm has a hard time trying to keep your legs open for him, caught up in all the sensitivity of his touches. you break when he speeds up the circles on your clit, “j-jaemin, hold on! i might- i might cum!”
“isn’t that what my angel wants?”
you feel embarrassed asking, but if you don’t tell him, he’ll never know, “can we… i wanna feel your fingers on me- or in me.”
jaemin’s head tilts back onto the headboard, all of his restraint lost at your words. “i’ll help you, wanna show you just how good you can feel. is that okay with you?”
“yes… please, jaemin.”
his fingers move to pull your panties to the side, exposing your dripping pussy to him. he bites down on his lip again to contain the moan that threatens to slip out. he can look over and see how wet you are for him, how you’re on display for him. “my angel has the prettiest pussy i’ve ever seen,” he lets out a breath at the whimper that comes from you, “so needy just for my fingers.”
you let out a whine, your hips bucking into the air as you try to search for any friction. he finally gives in, two fingers moving to circle at your clit. you melt immediately, head lolling onto his shoulder, loud whimpers filling the air. he mumbles in your ear, “wanna get you all wet for me before i try fingering you, okay?”
“please keep going.”
he presses a kiss to the shell of your ear, fingers speeding up on your clit. he can feel you begin twitching on top of him, legs threatening to close on his hand. you try to keep yourself spread open for him. jaemin’s other hand slowly trails up your body, reaching under your shirt to one of your boobs. he groans when he realizes you aren’t wearing a bra, fingers meeting a hard nipple.
with jaemin’s fingers on your clit and tugging on your nipple, it doesn’t take long for you to begin dripping all over the sheets. your moans have raised in pitch, calling out to him, begging him for more. “you’re ready for my fingers, angel? wanna feel them inside you?”
a moan of his name slips out of you, pleading for him. he plants a kiss on your shoulder, licking at the spot right after, “of course, baby. gonna take it slow for you.”
his hand slides down, his middle finger making it to your entrance. he shushes you when you start squirming, his finger slowly sliding inside you. it feels different, but good. your legs shut around his hand, and he lets it happen as he watches in awe. you’re so tight, he thinks. he wonders how he’s gonna fit himself inside of your tight pussy.
the thought makes him twitch in his pants, bringing himself back to the task at hand. your legs slowly open back up, your hips rolling in time with the movements of his finger. he didn’t expect to see the sight of you like this this fast. you let out a moan, “wan’ another finger, jaemin.”
“angel’s ready for another?” his ring finger moves to your entrance, slowly entering inside along with his middle finger. he can feel you tightly clench around his fingers, letting out a cry when his palm rubs against your clit. it’s too much, the sensation bringing you quickly to the edge. it’s only intensified when jaemin curls his fingers inside you, finding a spot inside you the sends shocks along your spine.
“feel good, baby?”
you can barely hear him, thighs beginning to shake as he presses he continues presses his fingers against your sweet spot. you’re falling apart quickly, his fingers plunging deep inside you as his other hand moves back to your boob, groping at the flesh. you let out a sob, “gonna cum, jaemin. wanna cum so bad!”
“yeah, gonna cum all over my fingers? go ahead and cum, pretty.”
your head falls back onto his shoulders, a wail leaving you as you cum, clenching on his fingers. his watches you intensely, watches how you’re left a mess because of him. he gives up on keeping your legs open, liking just how much you show how good he’s making you feel. 
he leaves kisses along your neck, his hand thumbing over your nipple and his palm slowly rubbing into your clit. you ride out your orgasm, letting out a squeak when the stimulation feels a little too much. he removes his hands from you, choosing to wrap them around you as he whispers in your ear, “did so good for me, angel. loved watching you fall apart because of me.”
while you’re coming down from your high, jaemin subtly brings his fingers that are wet with your slick to his mouth. he almost wants to moan around his fingers, realizing that you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted. he likes the taste of you on his tongue so much, realizing he might just have to do more than finger you next time.
your breaths begin to even out, your mind becoming clear from the haze you were in. you can feel jaemin nuzzle into your neck, but more importantly, you can feel his dick press into your backside. he’s still hard, and you realize he hasn’t cum yet.
jaemin watches as you slowly turn your body to face him, sliding down to your knees. he moves to sit at the edge of the bed, your dazed eyes following his every move. your head moves to rest on his knee, looking up at him with a pretty smile on your face, “are you gonna teach me how to make you feel good?”
he follows your hand that trails up his thigh, dangerously close to his bulge. his angel wants to make him feel good. his hand cups your cheek, thumb sliding across your skin, “gonna be good for me, baby?”
-
over the course of a few weeks, jaemin has been seeing a change in you.
you’re more touchy now, easing into his side as you cuddle on the couch. you don’t shy away when he touches you either, choosing to go along with his antics. you tease him, a playful smile on your face when you let yourself sit on his lap.
now, you try to initiate more intimate acts with him. you’re still a little nervous, jaemin helping you along the way as you lay back onto his bed, fingers moving inside you. you always return the favor, jaemin liking the way you look with his cock in your mouth way too much.  he’s also had the time to eat you out, easily folding when you ask him to use his mouth one day.
which is how he finds himself today, harshly sucking on your clit while his fingers plunge into your dripping cunt. your whimpers and moans fill the air, almost covering up the lewd sounds of jaemin eating you out. every time he does this, he acts like a man starved, licking at your entrance just to get a taste of your slick.
one of his hands makes it to your boob, kneading at the flesh just to get you to moan out for him, just to feel you clench harder around his fingers. you whine when he pulls his fingers out of you, his tongue moving to lap at your hole. what’s different is that his tongue slips in, pressing into your hole.
your hips jut into his face, his nose rubbing against your clit. it feels so new, and it sets off a desire in you. your mind is now needing to be filled up with something more, something that jaemin can easily provide to you.
one of your hands wraps around the one on your boob, moving to interlock his fingers with yours. you can feel him smile against you, speeding up his movements. you call out to him weakly, getting his attention as he hesitantly moves away from your pussy. you try to ignore how his mouth and chin are wet, his low voice asking, “what is it, baby?”
you try to put yourself together, your voice coming out shaky when his other thumb rubs against your clit, “i-i’m ready.”
“ready to cum? i’ll make sure you do.”
before he can plunge back to your cunt, you call him once more, “not for that! well, to cum, but… i think i’m ready to have sex with you.”
at lightning speed, he sits up, eyes bulging out of his head, “really? are- are you sure? it’s not too soon?”
“no,” you smile, “i-i mean, i trust you. i trust you to, um, take care of me.”
he watches as shyness takes over you, avoiding eye contact as you talk. there’s a soft smile on your face, your words being genuine. “you should’ve told me so i could’ve made today more special,” he nags, “i could’ve had a whole day with you, angel.”
you let out an airy laugh, “any time i get to spend with you is special, jaemin.”
he huffs, “if you say you’re ready, then you’re ready. if at any point in time you want me to stop, i’ll stop. we can do anything you want, just say the word.”
“want this, jaemin. want you.”
he lets out an affirming okay, quickly sliding off of the bed in order to take his sweats off, choosing to leave his boxers on for now. he quickly rejoins you, “i’m gonna finger you some more, alright, baby? wanna make sure that you’ll be nice and ready for me.”
you nod, choosing to sit up a little more as you watch two of his fingers slide into you. you’re still so wet, his fingers easily plunging inside you. he scissors his fingers inside you, stretching you out for him. his thumb hooks around to your clit, rubbing in tight circles that has your head lolling back. 
“doesn’t take long for you to get ready for me, hm? my baby just needs my help, right?’ his words shoot straight to your core, pushing you close to cumming. he can feel you clench tightly, adding a third finger as he continues. 
you tell him that you’re close, whining that you want to cum with him instead. he smiles at you, cooing, “want you to cum now, then i’ll know that you’re ready to take my cock.”
you immediately let go, cumming all over his fingers. he knows what sets you off now, how to get you to cum quickly with just a few motions. he grins at the sight of you, “so good for me, my baby is so good for me.”
you swat him away when he tries continuing, a small laugh leaving him as you do. his hand smoothing over your thigh calms you, bringing you back to look up at him with a certain look. he bites down on his lip when you speak, “i think i’m ready- think i’m ready for you, jaemin.”
“yeah?” jaemin tries not to sound nervous himself, “my baby needs me already?”
you nod, covering your face in embarrassment at his words. it’s even more embarrassing when you ask, “you have c-condoms, right?”
he reaches over to his nightstand, fishing one out from the bottom of his drawer. since he started dating you, he hasn’t found the need to buy anymore. he thanks his past self for leaving just a few behind, he would’ve died if he had to say no to you now. a bright smile shines on his face when he shows it to you, laughing at you when you look at it weirdly.
“wanna watch me put it on?”
you laugh at his words, thanking him internally for trying to lighten the mood.
as jaemin slides the condom on, he realizes he wants this just as bad as you do. he notices how his chest is heaving with every breath he takes, and he’s not even inside you yet. his eyes glance up towards yours, looking back at him, pleading for him to just do something. “i’m gonna start moving. angel, need you to tell me if i need to slow down or stop moving.”
you nod sweetly at him, hand moving to cup his cheek, thumb smoothing over his skin. “i love you, jaemin. you can start.”
your sweet words and action has his skin burning up, his cheeks turning red as he lines himself up at your entrance. he can feel how warm you are, his tip sliding over your slit a few times, working the both of you up. his body hovers over yours, moving to press kisses on your neck when he slides in.
your nails dig into his shoulders when he presses in. he lets out a grunt, “s-so tight, need you to relax, baby. can’t move if you’re not relaxed.”
“s-sorry! i just- you’re so big.”
he groans at your words, his head falling to your shoulder again. he slips out of you, giving you a second to relax before you give him the go ahead again. he slowly slips his tip in, wincing when he feels you clamp down on him. he bites down on his lip to stop any embarrassing sounds from coming out, hand soothing your side as he pushes more of his length in.
it’s a weird feeling for you, it doesn’t exactly hurt, but he is stretching you open. nothing this big has been inside you, so used to his fingers. you let out broken whines, asking him to stop at certain points. your nails lightly scratch down his back, 
his hips finally are flush against yours, his cock buried deep inside you. you can feel him twitch, slightly shaking on top of you. he’s trying to calm you down, soft words being whispered into your ear, followed by soft kisses. his thumb snakes between your bodies, tracing light circles on your clit.
if only you knew how much he was struggling not to buck his hips into your cunt. you’re so tight, so warm, clenching down on his cock. your walls are getting used to the intrusion, soft pants fanning across his face. you call out his name, his hips accidentally pushing closer to you as you clench around him. he quickly apologies, eyebrows furrowing at the feeling.
“i-” you let out a breath, “i want you to s-start moving. s-slowly, please.”
“of course, angel. like i said, tell me if i need to stop, if i need to slow down, or anything, okay?”
you nod quickly, jaemin leaning back up, his eyes staring down at where you two are connected. you spare a look, getting embarrassed at the sight. he starts slowly moving, pulling slowly out of you before pushing back in. you can feel every inch of him, your warm walls inviting him in. it’s so easy for you to just let him take over, the feeling slowly bleeding into pleasure as he gets a rhythm.
while you’re getting used to the feeling, jaemin seems to be losing himself in you. every time he moves his hips, he can feel how wet you are. it’s like you try to suck him back in when he tries pulling out, like you need him to keep on fucking you. your arms are wrapped around his shoulder, bringing him closer to you. he’s surrounded by all of you, your scent, your cunt, the pretty sounds you’re making.
when you start moaning his name, he has to stop, head falling to your shoulder as he tries to keep his composure. he knows he can’t just yet, but he wants to fuck into your cunt, wants to have you fucked stupid just because of his cock. the thought makes him twitch inside you, the feeling of his orgasm already bubbling up in his abdomen.
he lets out a shaky exhale before he starts moving again, a little faster than before. “how’re you feeling, baby? tell me how it f-feels for you.”
“feels so good, jaemin! your cock feels so good inside me!”
you clench down on him, your hips rolling up into his. you’re moving in time with his thrusts, your nails raking down his back, leaving trails of red marks for later. he doesn’t care though, not when you’re wrapped tightly around him, not when he gets to hear you moan his name. all he can think about is you, and how badly he wants to flip you over and really fuck you.
“so tight, you keep clenching so tight around me, wanna make this pussy mine. tell me it’s mine, angel.”
“please! ‘s all yours, i’m all yours!”
he lets out a growl, he’s quickening his pace, hands gripping onto the sheets near your head. he needs to kiss you or else he might think about how bad you need him, how he’s been the one to show you all this. you kiss him back, whining into his mouth as your chest arches into his. he can feel your hard nipples against his chest, letting out a low fuck.
he can feel himself getting close, his thumb rubbing quick circles on your clit. he can start feeling you clench around him, your voice rising in volume as you start babbling out to him. he prays that your close, too. he doesn’t think he can last much longer, not with the way you’re wrapping around him.
“gonna cum, angel? you wanna cum, gonna cum with me?”
he sounds so needy, just as fucked out as you are. you can barely register his words, but you know you need to cum just as bad as he does. he picks up his pace, his hands gripping onto your hips as he pounds into you. his low moans join your whines and whimpers, jumbled praises leaving his mouth as he gets closer, “s-so good for me, angel. pussy made just for me, only for me. no one else will ever have you like this.”
you nod, tears pricking your eyes as you come undone, cumming all over his cock. he’s quick to follow, unable to stop himself from cumming when you clench down on his cock. he’s groaning in your ear, quickly moving to messily kiss you. he licks into your mouth, moaning when you start milking his cock.
he slows down, quickly sliding out of you. he sits back on his knees, eyes staring at your spent pussy. he’s broken from his trance when you let out an embarrassed whine of his name. he chuckles when you shut your legs, sliding the condom off before tossing it in the trash.
you’re so tired, all of your energy being used up. jaemin rejoins you in bed, hand smoothing over your thigh, admiring the glow emanating off of you, almost wishing he could take a picture. maybe for another time, he thinks, he’ll bring it up later.
it’s quiet, enjoying the presence of your boyfriend as his light touches move all over. before you can fall asleep, his voice calls out to you, “angel, we gotta get you cleaned up.”
you whine, “but ‘m too tired, you did this to me.”
he laughs, hand moving to hold yours, “i know, i know. let me make it up to you, let me take care of my baby, hm?”
you sigh contentedly, “in five minutes.”
he can’t ever argue with you, easily giving up when he lays right by your side, “five minutes, baby.”
669 notes · View notes
genderlessdude92 · 3 days
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PRECIOUS
SMALL LIL’ ANGST—>FLUFF FIC
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PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader
SUMMARY: You and Alastor get into a fight because you’re just worried he got hurt after a fight with Vox. He snaps at you and…well, you isolate yourself. whoopsies!
WARNINGS: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship dynamics (but they both love each other dw), Intense emotional distress, Language, Potential Triggers, Donestic conflict. (MAJOR FLUFF AT THE END THOUGH!!! ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP!!!) They were a couple alive too if you don’t mind idk i suck at writing- USAGE OF Y/N I ALMOST FORGOT AHHH- Lmk if i missed anything :3
NOTICE: please don't steal/copy/translate my work. But thanks for liking it, though!! ^^
WORDS: 1.7k
Enjoy!!~
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“Alastor, are you serious?!” You yelled as Alastor started to walk away from you, mid conversation.
Alastor had just gotten into a big fight with Vox, luckily survived, though. The frustrating part is, he won’t even let you heal him. Or know what the battle was even about?!
Which made you really, really paranoid.
“Alastor, don’t walk away from me, that’s rude.” You caught up with him and began to match his pace and he walked to the halls of the hotel to lucifer knows where. “We need to talk about this.” You say firmly. “I’m going to find out one way or another.” You add, raising your voice slightly.
Alastor stopped walking and turned around to face you. He was looking down at you, which always made you feel so small. Even if he wasn’t actually looking at you, you could still feel it.
“Well, then.” His voice was calm, but a hint of annoyance was there. “Aren’t you just invested in my little public hiccup.”He crossed his arms, waiting for your response.
“Yes I am. And I think we should talk about it, instead of you getting defensive.” You looked him dead in the eye and kept talking. “And why you didn’t tell me.” Your voice went quieter again.
Alastor hid a chuckle, “I thought you would care more about me surviving, than knowing how many lives I took today.” He raised his eyebrow, mocking you. “Or maybe, I don’t want to share this kind of information with someone who will judge me for it.” He was now fully annoyed by you.
You stepped closer to him, trying to keep him from leaving again. “Alastor, please stop. I’m just trying to help. I don’t…” You trailed off nervously. “I don’t want us fighting.”
Alastor smirked at you, “Oh, don’t worry love. We aren’t fighting. Yet.” His tone was harsh and he leaned down to look you in the eyes. “But I will if you continue to harass me about this.”
You felt yourself start to panic, but tried your best to hide it. “I’m sorry Alastor, I just…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, as he interrupted you.
“No. Don’t ‘just’ anything. You know I hate that word.” He said with a cold smile. “Now leave me alone before I get upset with you.”
“…You know,” You began, standing in your place as Alastor walked away, “You should at least act like you care about my opinion, maybe act like a husband, as well.” You snapped back, but in a more calm, collected tone. (minus the shakiness in your voice.)
“That’s rich coming from you.” Alastor snapped back, turning around to face you again. “What did I ever do to deserve such a self-righteous wife?” He raised his voice a bit, but not enough for others to hear. “How dare you assume things about me without even asking. How dare you come here and make demands of me. How dare you try to control me.” He continued yelling, walking towards you. “You have no right to tell me what to do! I don’t have to explain myself to you!”
“I’m not trying to control you. I’m just saying, maybe you could at least consider what I have to say sometimes…” You tried to say bravely, but failed at the end. You felt so small. So insignificant.
You felt like nothing.
Alastor was now right in front of you, towering above you. His height and stature were intimidating, but his voice was worse. It was rough and demanding, making you feel like you weren’t worth anything. “You are nothing, nothing compared to me.” He sneered. “I don’t give a damn about what you think. What you say. What you do. You’re just a pathetic little sinner who has no idea what real power feels like. You’re not worthy of my time. You’re not worthy of my attention. You’re not worthy of my love.” He spat out the last word like it tasted sour in his mouth.
His words were cutting through your heart, and you couldn’t take it anymore.
You dashed away to the nearest staircase, needing to get to your office. Your only safe space.
***
It has been about a week now since the fight you and Alastor had.
It had also been a week since you came out of your office.
You didn’t really leave your office because, one, it had a fridge of food and other things. Two, you had a makeshift bed with the couch. And three, why would you even go out there?
Only problem is, you’ve cried everyday, and that made you feel like complete imp-shit.
You really wanted to see Alastor, but you knew it wouldn’t end well.
You also didn’t want to be around anyone else, either.
***
Alastor was a gentleman to all women who deserved so.
An example he would give you is Rosie. He’s a gentleman to her because she’s nice to him and has manners. She deserves it.
But, if he was near Velvette, he would call her cruel names and shred all her ‘designer masterpieces’.
But, now he was confused.
What happened with Y/N?
He had never fought like that with her before no, usually she would be next to him in bed right now.
He was starting to miss her.
…he needed to give her an apology.
But he knew he wasn’t good with words.
So, he brainstormed.
“I could probably give her a heart…” He thought, stepping out of bed and pondering for a moment, “…no, no….maybe…some flowers?…” he looked over to his bayou. “…Allergies.”
He slumped onto his armchair and looked around his room for any ideas at all.
“…maybe some candy? No.” He thought, “She doesn’t eat much sweets.”
He sat there for a while longer, thinking.
Then it hit him.
***
You heard footsteps outside your door, and immediately froze. You looked around your room for any escape route, and found none. You decided to sit back down on your couch, and began to wait for whoever was there to leave.
The footsteps stopped outside your door, and a knock sounded out. “Y/N, open the door.” Alastor’s voice was stern and commanding. “I know you’re in there.” He added.
You opened the door slowly, and peeked out to see who it was.
“Hello, darling.” Alastor said with a warm smile. “Can I come in?”
You just stared at him, saying nothing
‘fuck’, he thought, ‘i caused this.”
“Y/N, I just want to apologize.” He finally said, breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I was wrong.”
“…you don’t mean that.” You replied, still not moving.
“I do mean it, darling. Please jsut…let me in.” Alastor said sincerely, taking a step forward.
You hesitated for a moment, then moved aside to let him in. He closed the door behind him and stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of what to do or say next.
Then, your eyes wandered to the large picture album he was holding to his side.
“Alastor…what’s that?” You asked, taking a step back cautiously.
“…it’s our picture album.” He looked at you, remaining calm. “…from…when we were alive. You know, with all those crappy photos.” He smiled softly.
You looked up at him, “…I’m scared.”
Alastor knew exactly why, as well.
He sighed, “I promise…I will keep myself contained if i ever, ever lash out like that… ever again.” He claimed, tears building up in his eyes.
“What i said back there was not true at all. You are everything to me, you are worth so much, and most of all, I love you.” He dropped the book to the floor and held out his arms to hug you.
You didn’t move, “…I don’t want to be here…” You said, letting a tear fall.
He nodded, “That’s okay, dear, let’s go to our room, okay?” He reassured, picking the book back up and holding you tight to his waist as the shadows consumed you both, talking you to his room.
***
You and Alastor missed this.
Limbs tangled together in bed, holding each other close, breathing in each other’s scents, you wish you had this sooner.
Alastor flipped a page of the album, “Oh look,” He noticed, pointing his claws to the first picture in the album, “It’s our cat, oh, what was his name again?” He asked, looking at you.
You were still crying.
He took a deep breath, “Y/n,” he exhaled, “It’s okay, dear…please don’t think about it.”
You looked at him, “w-what?” you said, wiping your cheek.
He ran a claw through your hair, “Nothing.” He said, smiling softly.
You put your head on his shoulder, “Okay,” you mumbled into his chest, closing your eyes and enjoying his scent.
He stroked your hair, “Do you remember our wedding day?” He asked.
You shook your head, “…no, I don’t…it was too long ago…” you said, sniffling.
He kissed the top of your head, “That’s alright, sweetheart, we have plenty of time to talk about it.” He assured you, pulling you closer to him.
You closed your eyes, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. You felt safe in his arms. Safe and loved.
Alastor flipped the pages until he found the wedding pictures, “Oh, here we are. Look, see how my mother walked you through the aisle?” He rubbed the picture with his thumb, rethinking back the memory.
“…yeah…I remember now…” You snuggled closer into him, trying to control your ragged breathing.
“…just breathe daring.” He reminded you, “Look here, you see how much you’ve changed?” He laughed softly, flipping another page, “See here? Here you are at our anniversary dinner, you wore that beautiful dress that made your legs look amazing.” He blushed lightly, “I remember you told me I was the only one allowed to see it.”
You giggled, “…that was a joke, silly.” You said, opening your eyes and smiling up at him.
“Ah, yes, I know.” He smiled back,
“…You’re so precious to me, y’know that?” He said, leaning down and kissing your forehead.
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NOTES: Idk what i was thinking when i made this fic erm…! Idk I’ve been going thru some shit rn but I’ve gotta impress the community because the notes/likes/comments/reblogs on my posts aren’t doing to good rn!! Oh no!!! (that is a sign from my greedy ass) And i just started a multi-chapter fic so like idk why i’m typing this- support is appreciated. BAI!!![![![11!
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MASTERLIST LINK
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286 notes · View notes
cameronspecial · 3 days
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how about we go a lil angsty? the reader hadn’t yet told him about her being pregnant bcs she remembers Drew once said he doesnt know if he wants to be a dad and so she tried to bring the topic up with hypothetical questions and his answers not exactly the thing she wanted to hear so she went all silent and pulled herself away and stuff.
I dont wanna give it away, so please you decide the ending..either they communicate and Dad!Rafe rise or…
I Want This
Pairing: Dad!Drew Starkey x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of Abortions and Miscommunication
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 1.2K
Masterlist
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Well… She doesn’t know what she expected the results to be, but this is definitely an answer. Y/N doesn’t even think she can focus on the opinion she has of this situation because all she can think about is Drew’s.
———
“Awww, Babe, look at this pic of Lils that Mac sent me,” he gushed, holding his phone up to his fiancée. She looked up from her laptop, “So cute. Ugh, I miss them so much. I mean look at those little baby rolls. I just want to cuddle the cutie.” He smiled and brought her head under the crook of his neck. “I know. We have to visit them soon. I’m so glad I have a niece. It means I can be the fun uncle forever and never have to be a dad,” he mindlessly thought out loud, going back to scrolling on his phone. This caused her to freeze; they never talked about having kids, but he was so good with them that she assumed he would want them. She should’ve asked him about it because she wanted them. She didn’t though. Kids were important to her and so was Drew. She wasn’t ready to cause a rift in their relationship because of something small. 
———
Staring at the positive pregnancy test, she has to figure out a way to gauge how he would feel about it before actually telling him the truth. Once she knows how he feels, it will help her decide how she wants to feel about it seeing that if they are on the opposite page, then she would have to make a difficult decision. She shoves the positive tests into the box and hides them in her makeup drawer. He never goes looking there. She exits the bathroom, lets out a deep breath, and heads to the kitchen to start getting lunch ready. Drew is coming home from filming in Morocco later today. The music blasting through the speakers makes her unaware of the new presence in the house. He smiles at the dancing silhouette cutting potatoes. His hand drops over her eyes and she sets the knife down with a grin. Her arms wrap around her neck to bring him down towards her. This allows her to pepper his face with kisses. “Hey, you weren’t supposed to be back until tonight,” she notices, turning the music off. His hand rests on her hip, “I was, but I was offered an early flight and I couldn’t say no to seeing my girl early. I missed you and I love you.” She sinks into his hold. “I missed and love you too.”
The couple spend the next half an hour cooking together before settling themselves at the dining room table. Since they talked to each other throughout cooking, silence falls over them. A chime comes from his phone and he checks it to see a text from his sister. “Mac is planning on coming down with Lils and my mom soon. They can stay in the guest room, right?” Drew confirms, reading over the text again. She nods, “Yeah, I’ll get it ready over the weekend and buy one of those travelling crib things for Lils. It is going to be fun to have a baby around the house. The guest room would make a nice baby room in the future. It has nice big windows and the closet is the perfect size.” The chuckle that comes out of his mouth drops her stomach into a furnace. 
“What’s so funny?” she questions. He shrugs, “Not the babysitting part. They could both use a break and I will never say no to spending time with my niece. It’s just the thought of having to turn the guest room into a baby room is funny.” 
“Oh, why?”
“I don’t know. It’s a guest room. I mean where would our family stay when they come over?” 
“Yeah, where would they stay?”
She should probably ask if he meant he can’t imagine the room as a baby room right now or if it was a forever thought; however, she is scared of the answer she is going to get so she shuts down the conversation. They sit in a new tension-filled silence that he pretends he can’t feel. 
———
After lunch, Y/N retreats to the backyard to swing in the hammock. This tells him that she needs some space and he knows she is upset when she is still outside at eleven p.m. The friction of the patio door sliding against each other makes her turn to him. She doesn’t acknowledge his presence, waiting for him to say something. He places the plate of pasta he made for dinner onto the side table beside the hammock. “I found the pregnancy tests,” he states, bringing one of the patio chairs close to her. She freezes and sits up. Her legs swing over the fabric to face him, “How?” “Maddie helped me pick out clay pot Moroccan lipstick for you and I wanted to surprise you with it. I was going to hide it in your drawer…” he explains, eyes falling to his fingers and trailing off at the end. Her head moves up and down. Her thoughts are moving around her head a thousand miles a second. He is going to break up with her. He is going to make her have an abortion. Or worse. He is going to make her choose between the baby or him on the spot. 
He grows nervous when she doesn’t say anything and his suspicions are confirmed. He understands why she is unsure about talking to him about this. The way he has spoken about having a baby in the past could’ve given her the wrong idea. He hesitantly reaches to place a hand on hers and does it when she doesn’t shy away. “I want you to know that the decision about what we do with the baby is up to you and I will be at your side during the whole process,” he assures. Her confusion causes tears to crop up in her eyes, “You don’t want the baby though. I know that, so if you are going to break up with me because I do, then just do it. But making me have to choose is kinda cruel.” His heart squeezes, hating that his words aren’t coming out as he means them to be. His head shakes like crazy and he sits beside her. He brings her head against his chest, “Babe, I don’t want to break up with you. I want to have this baby with you too.”
“You want the baby? Then how come you don’t think the guest room would be a good baby room?”
“Because my office would be a better one. The windows aren’t too big so it won’t wake the baby up in the morning and the closet there is even bigger, so when they get older they can have as many clothes as their heart desires.”
“Okay, you are right… What about when you said you want to be an uncle forever and never be a dad?”
“Honestly, I never really thought I would want to be a dad. I was content with being an uncle, but, Babe, when I found that pregnancy test, all I could think about was how happy I was to be bringing a child into the world with the most amazing woman in the world and I couldn’t wait to raise them with you.”
She leans back and rests a warm palm on his cheeks, trying to hold back her tears. “So you want to have this baby?” she verifies. He kisses the tears away, “I want this, Babe. I promise. We are going to do this. Together.”
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura
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ginnsbaker · 2 days
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fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (9/?)
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Part Summary: You get more than you bargained for on Halloween
Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader, temporary Leigh x Danny | Word count for this part: 7.300+ | Warnings: Light angst, R and Leigh being obtuse | Author's Note: Longest chapter so far (and about 90% of it is just Leigh and R)! I have officially written another novel length fic with this update. From a two-shot to this? Wouldn't be possible without everyone's support. Thank you, everyone. I have a little treat for you at the end.
Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII
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Despite Leigh's promise to bring Logan in for his vaccinations, she missed the appointment again for the second time. Understanding that life gets hectic, you decide that rather than seeing Logan miss another round of critical vaccinations, you'll take matters into your own hands and arrange a home visit at the Shaw’s.
On the day of the visit, you discover that Logan has gained 2.5 pounds in just two weeks. The drastic weight gain might indicate that he’s not a purebred Shih Tzu as you originally thought when you got him, or Leigh has been feeding him more than the recommended serving size. You can feel Logan’s solid back as you hold him in place while you administer the vaccine on his scruff. Leigh appears nervous, and if you weren’t determined to scold her after completing Logan’s immunizations, you might have found it adorable.
“Just a quick pinch, buddy,” you murmur soothingly to the anxious pup. Logan yelps as the needle pierces his skin, but within two seconds, it’s over. You rub his neck to distract him from the sting of the medicine, then return to your insulated bag to dispose of the syringe. Leigh watches closely as you finish with Logan, a slight frown creasing her forehead. You notice she's dressed in what you figure is her nightwear—a thin olive camisole and matching capri pants. It seems too dressed down for receiving a guest.
“Why are these vaccines so important, anyway?” she asks lightly, but you don’t miss her apprehension behind it. “I mean, he'll mostly be indoors…”
The frustration from her missing two appointments sneaks into your voice as you say, “Vaccines can mean the difference between life and death for puppies. Take the parvovirus—it's lethal and spreads quickly.”
Leigh nods, taking in the weight of your words. You notice her swallow, perhaps realizing the graveness of her oversight. “I didn't realize it was that serious,” she murmurs.
You catch yourself, realizing you might be coming across as harsher than necessary. “It's alright, Leigh. That's exactly why I came here,” you say mildly. You've dealt with many uneducated dog owners before, and Leigh is no different. You know you need to be patient with her, just as you have been with others, and you remind yourself not to let your personal feelings interfere with your professional opinions.
Logan wiggles happily at your feet, seemingly forgiving you for the shot already. “And another thing,” you add, glancing down at Logan’s round belly, “he’s put on quite a bit of weight. We need to watch his diet. Too much food isn’t good for him either.”
Leigh looks slightly embarrassed. “I guess I've been spoiling him with extra treats,” she admits. “I'll be more careful with that.”
“It’s okay. I know how hard it is to say ‘no’ to that face,” you say, smiling at Logan while you rub his chin. “Just keep to the recommended portions, and he’ll be in good shape.”
As you gather your things to leave, you remember Logan's vaccine card. After filling out the final details, you head towards the kitchen where Leigh has silently drifted off. She's busying herself with breakfast on the stove when you approach.
“Here's Logan's vaccine card,” you say, handing it to her. “He needs another dose in two weeks, so don't forget to schedule that in.”
“Thank you,” Leigh says, accepting the card with a nod. “I won't forget this time.”
The aroma of coffee wafts through the room, tickling your nose.
“I've just made some coffee. Would you like to stay for breakfast?” Leigh asks.
You hesitate, considering the offer, but you’re inclined to refuse, still irked by her missing the previous appointments. “I’m good, thanks,” you say, a bit too briskly. Leigh's face falls slightly, a look of disappointment flashing across her eyes before she gives you a small, resigned smile and turns back to the stove.
You start to leave but something stops you—the frustration from Leigh’s no-shows running over. 
“Leigh, can I ask why you didn’t make it to the clinic? And not even a text,” you find yourself saying as you spin on your heels to face her. “It’s not just unprofessional—it hurts more coming from a friend.”
“If you have a problem with me, it’s perfectly okay to transfer Logan to another clinic as long as you’ll follow through with his appointments,” you suggest, noting her standing there, mouth agape, her vivid green eyes sharply focused. Getting that off your chest didn't bring the relief you expected. Instead, you're left with a sinking feeling of regret. Looking back on your words, you realize how petty they must have sounded.
Leigh on the other hand, is momentarily stunned by your outburst, her eyes wide as she absorbs your words. Then, something shifts in her expression, a flicker of intrigue crossing her features before she clears her throat and apologizes.
“I'm really sorry,” she says sincerely, turning off the stove and setting down her spatula. “I didn't handle things well, and you were right to call me out on it.” Leigh takes a careful step closer, causing you to instinctively step back until your lower back meets the edge of the dining table. You weren't expecting Leigh to be so understanding, leaving you unsure of how to react. Should you apologize for getting upset?
Fortunately, Leigh doesn't leave you to dwell on your thoughts for long. She continues, “Why don't you stay for breakfast? I can whip up something nice, and we can catch up like we used to. Please, let me make it up to you.”
Feeling like an absolute fool and still grappling with the aftertaste of your flare-up, you find yourself in a quandary. Rejecting her offer would just drag out this uncomfortable moment even longer, which is the last thing you want. Besides, your stomach is growling—you haven’t eaten anything since you got here, and the smell of brewing coffee is too good to ignore.
“Alright,” you relent, glancing down at your feet. “That sounds good.”
Leigh looks relieved. “Perfect, just give me a minute,” she says, clapping her hands together as she turns back to her cooking.
You linger awkwardly, still standing. “Need a hand with anything?” you ask.
“Just sit there, be all pretty, and relax.”
That little compliment makes your cheeks burn even hotter. If you weren’t so distracted by your hunger and embarrassment, you'd swear it’s almost as if she’s flirting with you.
Wait.
Is she?
Then, as if the universe can hear you thinking, Leigh’s phone buzzes loudly on the kitchen counter. She snatches it up, and even though you can’t see her face, you can tell she’s happy he called as she chirps, “Hey, Danny.”
Right. Danny Greer. That name shatters your brief daydream. Suzie was right—you're too close, and it's clouding your judgment. Leigh laughs into the phone, and you look away just in time for her to turn slightly and steal a glance at you.
Alright, you think, that's it. After this breakfast, it's time to really put some space between you and Leigh. You need to clear your head and let her have her space too. It's the best move, for the sake of your friendship and your sanity.
As Leigh busies herself in the kitchen, you find yourself aimlessly scrolling through your phone, not really focusing on anything. The sound of her laughter while she talks to Danny floats over to you, making you regret agreeing to stay for breakfast and blame your inability to say no to her.
She ends the call with a lingering smile and soon approaches with two plates in hand. Each has a stack of pancakes and two sunny-side-up eggs with the edges just crisped up how you like them. The fact that Leigh remembered leaves you speechless. It’s a small detail, but it makes you guilty for brooding and feeling all jealous. 
“I hope you still like your eggs this way,” Leigh says as she sets the table.
“Thank you,” you say warmly as Leigh pours coffee for both of you. Recalling her preference, you offer to add two sugars to her cup, and she rewards you with a small, appreciative smile. She then grabs the syrup from the fridge, along with two sets of utensils, and places them on the table.
You take a bite of the fluffy pancakes, perfectly cooked and deliciously light. “These are amazing, Leigh,” you say enthusiastically.
Leigh beams, standing a bit taller with pride instead of dismissing the praise. “I'm glad you think so! I've been working on perfecting the recipe.”
“Seriously, Leigh, you could sell these.”
She laughs. “Keep the compliments coming and I might just make you breakfast more often.”
You almost choke at her words. You really should take a little break from Leigh until you can get this crush under control. Even simple remarks are starting to feel like a tightrope walk.
Leigh tilts her head slightly, a coy look crossing her face. “So…” she drawls, leaving the word hanging as she waits for you to look up from your plate.
You stop chewing once you sense her heavy gaze on you. “Hmm?”
Leaning in slightly, she lowers her voice as though about to share a secret. “This Sara... is she a friend of yours? Someone new around here?”
The piece of pancake suddenly feels like a mouthful of sawdust as you process her question. You grab your coffee and take a quick gulp to help wash it down. “I, uh, met her on a dating app, actually,” you say.
Leigh's eyebrow arches. “Oh?” 
There’s a short, tense period where you repeatedly stab your pancake and tap your foot rapidly against the leg of the stool you’re sitting on, while Leigh twirls her hair around her finger, lost in thought.
“She’s gorgeous,” Leigh finally says. “I didn’t know you were into women.” That is, unless you and the person from her advice column are one and the same. She's chosen to approach what she's dubbed the “EspressoEyes conundrum” as a Schrödinger’s cat scenario, where you simultaneously do and do not have feelings for Leigh.
You fiddle with your coffee mug. “Yeah, I think I've mentioned that before,” you say, though your memory suddenly feels unreliable.
Leigh shakes her head, certain. “No, you definitely haven't told me that.”
“Well, yes, I'm into women, but obviously I like men too,” you say, deciding it's perhaps better to just be clear. 
“We're the same then,” she says casually, as if discussing something as mundane as their taste in movies.
“Really?” You’re hoping Leigh is buying the faux surprise on your face, even though Jules had let slip about Leigh's college days.
“Yeah,” Leigh nods. “I had a serious relationship with a woman back in college. It's not something I talk about much, but it's part of who I am.”
“I see.”
Leigh takes a slow sip of her coffee, eyeing you over the rim of her mug with a slight tilt of her head. 
“So, do you like her? Sara, I mean,” she asks.
“Yeah, she’s great. We get along really well.”
Leigh sets her coffee cup down with a small clink, not missing a beat. “Have you guys...you know, slept together?” she asks, more bluntly than before.
You shift uncomfortably in your seat, feeling a bit like you’re under interrogation. “Um…no, we haven’t.” 
A quick glint flashes in her eyes before it vanishes. Her shoulders relax as she leans back in her chair. “Sorry, that was out of line,” she mumbles with a curt, dismissive laugh. “I guess I'm just being nosy.”
The way she said it doesn't truly suggest she's sorry for crossing some lines, but you’re not focusing on that. Rather, you feel like you’ve earned the right to ask Leigh some questions about her own personal affairs.
“And you?” you start, trying to sound flippant. “How are things with you and Danny?”
Leigh matches your nonchalance as she stands up to gather the empty plates from the table. There's a smooth, practiced ease in the way she begins cleaning up, letting you know she's not about to let your questions corner her.
“Things are... going,” she replies, keeping it vague. “Danny's great. We're figuring things out as we go.”
“Where'd you meet him?” you ask, already knowing the answer.
“He's Matt's brother,” Leigh says flatly, without flinching. You have to give it to her for being so straightforward about it. Not that you’re judging Leigh or anything—it’s just that moving from in-laws to lovers is quite an unconventional transition.
It’s also possible that you’re just bitter.
“Did you always find him attractive?” you ask, almost spitefully, curiosity getting the better of you. Leigh freezes, her back going rigid at your callous words. There's a moment of visible tension, but then she lets out a slow breath and lets it slide. She had been quite direct in probing about your dating life, so perhaps this levels the playing field.
“No, it wasn’t like that,” Leigh says slowly. “I—”
“Oh hey, Y/N, it's been a while!”
Neither of you heard the front door open. Jules bursts in, holding Logan who's wagging his tail wildly at the sight of familiar faces, both oblivious to the cutting atmosphere they've just entered.
“Oh hey, Y/N, it's been a while!” Jules exclaims. She looks between you and Leigh. “Am I interrupting something?” she asks, noticing the residual stiffness in the air. 
“Y/N was just leaving,” Leigh says. 
You don’t need to be told twice. “Hey, Jules,” you say with a short wave. “I just came to give Logan his shots.” 
Jules frowns slightly as you start to leave so soon after her arrival. You reach over to give Logan a quick pat on the head. Turning to Leigh, you manage a tight smile and say, “Thanks for the breakfast.”
As soon as you're out the door, Jules turns to Leigh with a worried look. “What was all that about?” she asks softly.
Leigh shrugs, her expression inscrutable. “I don’t know what you mean,” she replies evenly, turning away to busy herself with the dishes.
-
You get into your car but instead of starting it, you just sit there motionless. Your hands rest aimlessly on the wheel as you lose yourself in thought.
Here’s the truth about Sara:
She's exactly your type on paper—blonde, blue-eyed, stunning. But despite all that, she hadn't managed to hold your attention. Her beauty just couldn't pull your mind away from Leigh, from her vivid green eyes that always seemed to see right through you.
The silence in the car allows you to realize what an odd question you had thrown at Leigh about Danny. You realize just how inappropriate it might have seemed, how it must have sounded coming from a place of jealousy rather than concern.
Why did you even ask that? The answer is uncomfortably clear: you can't be just friends with Leigh. Not anymore. You’ve been lying to yourself, hoping things would just sort themselves out. But they won’t. Not like this. You can’t keep doing this to yourself—or to her. 
Because right now, this friendship, if you can even call it that, is doing more harm than good.
-
“It’s not working.”
Suzie looks up from her clipboard, startled. Her red locks tumble across her face as she tilts her head, brushing them back with a quick flick of her hand.
“Seeing other people, you mean?” she asks, already guessing the root of your distress.
You run a hand through your hair, messing up your low ponytail. Frustrated, you decide to let your hair loose from the tie altogether. 
“I thought if I met someone like Sara—someone who’s practically a checklist of everything I find attractive—it would make things easier. But it’s just... not.” You massage your temples, as if trying to rub away the spell Leigh seems to have cast on you. “She's perfect, but she's not Leigh. And no matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking about Leigh.”
“You're right about one thing though,” Suzie says, getting back to her task.
“Which is…?” 
“That Sara’s perfect,” she chuckles, and you can't help but roll your eyes. “Look, you can’t force these feelings. If your heart’s not in it, it’s not in it.”
“So…Should I keep seeing her? Maybe she’ll grow on me or something.”
Suzie stops and gives you a serious look. “Maybe. But love shouldn't feel like an obligation, you know? It’s not fair to either of you if you’re just waiting to see if you’ll catch feelings.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” you acknowledge with a sigh. “She’s everything I thought I wanted. And I think she likes me.”
“Sometimes what we think we want isn’t what we really need,” Suzie answers. “Why not take a break? Give yourself some space to think. It might help you figure out what really works—whether it’s Sara, someone else, or just time to yourself.”
“You think so?”
Suzie gives a small shrug. “Look, I don’t have all the answers.”
Hearing that makes you feel a tad embarrassed. You’ve been leaning on her for advice a lot lately, and it’s probably awkward for her, especially since you're her boss. Maybe she’s just being nice because she has to be.
“Thanks, Sue,” you say, standing up from your chair to head back to your office. “I appreciate you listening to all this.”
She smiles back, and you can tell she’s relieved to move on from the subject. Suzie might not have all the answers, but maybe there’s another place you can find them.
-
That night, in your bedroom, you settle in front of your laptop, the cursor blinking expectantly on the blank submission form of the advice column. You type in your handle—EspressoEyes—a moniker you’d used before, thinking it would increase your chances of being noticed again. Quickly, you type out your query and hit send, watching as it disappears into the digital ether. No sooner have you shut your laptop than your phone rings. It’s your mom.
“Hey, Mom,” you answer, shifting to sit against your headboard.
“Hi, sweetheart! Are you coming home for Thanksgiving? We’re starting to plan the menu and would love to have you,” she says. Your chest tightens. Just hearing her voice makes you feel like you’re already home. You pretend to think for a second, considering your rather empty social calendar.
“Yeah, I’ll come home,” you decide, realizing it might be nice to get away for a bit.
“Oh good! It’s been too long. We’ll make sure to have all your favorites,” she chatters on, already listing the dishes that would normally make you salivate. But these days, you just don’t have the appetite for food.
“Sounds great, Mom. Really looking forward to it.” 
You hang up with a promise to send your flight details soon. Setting your phone down, you feel a slight relief at the thought of escaping to a place where no one knows about the mess you’re in.
-
Leigh can’t sleep. She lies wide awake, staring at the ceiling while Danny's snores fill the room. The weight of his arm draped over her stomach feels stifling, trapping her in place. She can’t breathe. Carefully, so as not to wake him, she slips out from under his arm and tiptoes out of the bedroom. In the hallway, she grabs one of his shirts hanging over a chair and slips it on. It smells like sandalwood and something uniquely him—comforting yet somehow off-putting at the same time.
She pads into the kitchen to boil some water, the soft click of the stove burner igniting a comforting sound in the otherwise quiet apartment. With the kettle on, she wanders into the living room, pulling Danny's shirt closer around her. Even with the windows closed, the crisp chill of autumn seeps in.
Sitting on the couch, Leigh pulls her knees to her chest. The post-sex cocktail of oxytocin and vasopressin usually knocks her out, but tonight they fail her. Instead, her mind is filled with doubts and the urge to flee from any kind of closeness.
She remembers the last conversation with you, the disapproval on your face when you finally mentioned her relationship with Danny. It troubles her more than she expected. Were you right? Is she just scrambling to fit someone, anyone, into her life, even if it means ignoring the screams inside her head telling her to run?
The kettle whistles, snapping her out of her thoughts. She makes her tea and settles back into the couch, stirring slowly as she thinks about what it might mean to step back from everything—Danny, you, all of it.
With nothing but time until sleep takes her or the sun rises—whichever comes first—Leigh picks up her phone to distract herself. She scrolls through social media, news articles, anything to keep her mind off the spinning thoughts. Eventually, she wanders to the advice column inbox to check on the latest submissions.
Her breath catches in her throat when she sees another entry from EspressoEyes, a handle she recognizes—possibly yours. It reads:
“Is it wise to pursue other relationships if you have strong feelings for someone else? That someone is a friend, and staying just friends is becoming increasingly difficult. My feelings seem to be putting a strain on our relationship. Should I give myself some space?”
Leigh reads the message two more times. She sets her phone down, her thumb instinctively finding its way to her mouth where she nibbles at the nail, a nervous habit when she’s thinking long and hard. And the more she thinks about it, the more obvious it becomes. Of course, she's the friend you're talking about. This is you, openly struggling with your feelings for her. She had hoped things might change, might become less complicated when Sara came into the picture, but she was mistaken. 
When she asked about Sara, Leigh was trying to gauge your feelings for her, wondering if Sara's presence meant she didn't need to worry about whether you were EspressoEyes or not. In her mind, if you were involved with Sara, it would imply you weren't interested in Leigh. But she surprised even herself by asking if you had slept with Sara, unsure why she needed to know that detail. Deep down, she couldn’t openly admit just how relieved she felt when you told her you hadn’t.
Leigh picks up her phone again and starts typing out a reply to the submission. When she’s done she tosses her phone somewhere on the couch and goes back to her tea. Sitting there, she watches as the sky outside shifts from dark to a wash of pastels. 
-
A week later, Leigh’s phone vibrates incessantly on the table, the screen lighting up with Danny's name again. Finally, with a frustrated sigh, she turns it off and sets it aside. They've been cycling through breakups and makeups so often it's exhausting—a twisted routine, one that's leaving her more drained each time. 
It's Halloween, and since she and Danny are off again, Leigh decides to take the night for herself. She picks Matt's favorite restaurant, which is fully decked out for the holiday, with jack-o'-lanterns lining the walls and eerie candles flickering on each table. She orders a pumpkin-spiced latte and a small plate of appetizers, settling in to enjoy her evening solo. Later, she’ll have that tiramisu that her late husband so adored.
Matt always loved this holiday because it was the one time of year Leigh would indulge him by dressing up as whatever comic book character he was into at the moment. They'd start the evening here for pre-dinner celebrations before meeting up with friends and family later on. But tonight, there are no costumes for Leigh; she's dressed simply in jeans and a cardigan, her face free of makeup, her hair tucked behind her ears to keep it out of the way while she eats. 
As she waits, she watches families and couples in costumes come and go, a bittersweet creeping up at her.
Then, you walk in. You’re dressed sharply, scanning the room like you're meeting someone—on a date. Leigh catches her breath. Were you aware that this was Matt’s favorite restaurant? Moreover, it’s been almost two weeks since that awkward morning when you left in a haste. You haven’t noticed her yet. Leigh watches you for a moment, debating what to do. She’s torn between going over or staying put. The last she contributed to the advice column, she’d left a message she hoped you'd find useful if you were indeed the person she’s been advising to. From the look of things, maybe you were taking that advice after all.
Taking a deep breath, Leigh stands and walks over. As you turn and notice her, a small, tentative smile appears on her lips when your eyes meet.
“Hey.”
You return the smile, though it's imbued with a bit of wariness. She appreciates it nonetheless.
“Hey,” you say. 
Leigh doesn't beat around the bush; she gets straight to the point of why she came over. “Look, I'm sorry,” she says, the words coming out almost demandingly. “About last time. I crossed a line asking about Sara.” 
There's an unmistakable assertiveness to her apology, carrying the same confidence and directness with which she usually addresses any issue. She doesn’t bow her head or wring her hands; instead, she holds your gaze steadily, expecting her apology to be taken as seriously as she means it. 
“It’s okay. I wasn’t exactly in line myself when I brought up Danny,” you say, looking up at her. Then, searching for something else to say, you ask, “So, are you here to meet Danny?”
Leigh seems unfazed by the mention of Danny, yet again. You feel a bit silly soon after, realizing that after just acknowledging the awkwardness of digging into each other’s romantic lives, here you are, doing it again. You just can’t help yourself, can you?
“No. I’m on my own tonight,” she replies. Then she mirrors your earlier question, a slight tilt to her head. “And you? Here with Sara?”
“No, things didn’t push through with Sara. I’m meeting someone new,” you say, the words feeling strange as they come out. It was a simple yes or no question, and you're not quite sure what compelled you to open up about the specifics of your dating life.
Leigh just nods, her face neutral, not giving away anything in reaction to your news. “I should let you get back to your, uh, date,” she says, then quietly returns to her seat.
Having a date with a stranger just a few feet away from the woman you truly care about is about as ironic as the universe can be.
-
You’re on your second americano, the bitter taste barely registering as you glance at your watch for the umpteenth time. It's been thirty minutes past the time your date was supposed to arrive, and there's still no sign of him. 
The restaurant has filled up around you. Families are tucked into booths, laughing and sharing plates piled high with food. Groups of friends clink glasses in cheerful toasts, and couples lean close, whispering and smiling over candlelit tables. Sitting alone at a table set for two, you start to feel conspicuously isolated. 
The last two texts you sent within the hour remain unanswered, their blue bubbles on the screen marking the time you spent waiting. Determined to find some explanation, you open the dating app where you met him, your fingers tapping nervously. There, his profile pops up, showing that he is currently online. Relief washes over you for a moment—maybe there's a reasonable explanation. He might still show up. But as you tap the message icon to send him a query about his whereabouts, a sudden notification stops you: you can no longer message this user.
Feeling disheartened and embarrassed, you can’t help but feel all kinds of ugly for being stood up by someone who doesn’t even mean anything to you. Did he see you waiting and decide not to meet? What about you turned him off? You find yourself scrutinizing everything about your appearance. Was it what you were wearing—perhaps not feminine enough for his taste? Your hair was pulled back, exposing your forehead; maybe he didn't like that look. Or was it your posture—too slouched or too stiff? You even wonder if he might have passed someone else on his way here, someone he found more attractive. It's unsettling to realize how quickly the self-confidence you've spent years building can be shaken in just one evening.
You signal the waiter for the check. Although your stomach is growling, the thought of eating anything seems impossible right now. You're just focused on getting out of there as quickly as you can. Just as you finish paying, Leigh appears at your table. Without a word, she slides into the seat across from you. You're surprised to see her, and although you're not really in the mood for company or conversation, her presence is somehow less intrusive than you would expect.
“I couldn't help but notice your date never arrived,” Leigh comments with an amused smile, inadvertently adding salt to the wound. You think to yourself, Way to rub it in, Leigh, but you're too drained to actually say anything confrontational, so you just mumble a small, “Yeah.”
Leigh leans in a bit closer, lowering her voice as if she's about to let you in on a secret. 
“Want to get out of here?”
-
It’s definitely not a date. Far from it.
It’s just two friends winding up spending Halloween together by chance.
It’s what Leigh keeps telling herself.
Leigh didn’t know what came over her when she went back to your table. She hadn't thought she'd be asking you to ditch the restaurant and wander the city for the rest of the night—together. What she did know was that she had been eating unusually slowly, glancing over at you occasionally to see how your evening was unfolding. But as it became painfully obvious that your date was a no-show, she couldn’t take it; seeing you left to handle the disappointment alone was more than she could bear.
Turning to Leigh in your car, you ask, “Do you mind if we stop first at the 7-Eleven on Main? I haven't had dinner yet.”
“What kind of dinner can you get from a 7-Eleven?” she asks.
You shrug and say, “Donuts.”
At the 7-Eleven, you grab a box of assorted donuts, and on a whim, you also pick up a few cans of beer to go along with them. With snacks in hand, you drive to a spot that overlooks the city—the same one where Leigh took you after getting takeouts the first time around. It’s not secluded—there’s a small crowd, with several cars parked and groups of people lounging on their car hoods.
“I wasn’t always attracted to him,” Leigh murmurs, after finishing her first beer. You both sit side-by-side with the trunk of your car open, swinging your legs while Leigh’s are crossed over the edge of the trunk.
You glance over at her, a curious ‘Hm?’ escaping your lips, though they're still full of donuts. 
Leigh chuckles at your reaction, finding the sight of your cheeks stuffed with food more endearing than she probably should. 
“Danny,” she clarifies with a sigh. “I actually used to hate him. He was always such a burden on Matt. Always dragging him into trouble.”
You think about what she's said, then offer a perspective, “You know, they say hate isn't the opposite of love, it's indifference. So maybe there’s always been something there, something more than just annoyance.”
Leigh leans back, stretching her arms out behind her for support as she considers your point. You find yourself wondering what's going through her mind. Is your honesty drawing her even closer to Danny? You could have exploited her past feelings, suggesting that maybe she's always disliked Danny and is confusing her loneliness for love. But you choose not to manipulate her emotions, even if it might be easy to sway her. You won't take advantage of her vulnerability just to get what you want.
Though you can’t deny that the temptation is there. 
“Leigh, can I ask you a question?” you say, watching her closely. 
She nods, her face open and expectant as she pops open another can of beer.
“How did you find out about me and Matt?”
Leigh takes a sip before answering. “Didn’t I mention it before?”
You purse your lips and shake your head, maintaining a neutral expression as you encourage her to elaborate.
“Danny told me,” Leigh reveals after a brief pause.
“What exactly did he tell you?” 
Leigh hesitates, her eyes flickering to the side before meeting yours again. She sets the can down, her fingers drumming against the aluminum in a slow, rhythmic pattern. 
“He just flat-out told me one night. I didn't believe him at first, so he mentioned your name to prove it, and I pieced together the rest. I tried to learn everything I could about you, where you lived... and that’s how I discovered your clinic in the city. And I... well, you know the rest,” she says. From what Leigh said, you easily conclude that Danny hadn't come clean to her about his role in facilitating your relationship with Matt. He had conveniently removed himself from the narrative, leaving out his involvement entirely. Lost in thought, you don't realize you've grown quiet until Leigh's voice pulls you back.
“Why do you ask?”
If you answer that question, you don’t believe you can continue hiding the truth about Danny any longer. As you watch Leigh, relaxed in the back of your car, her hair tousled by the gentle evening breeze, you're torn. You're afraid of disrupting her peace. The truth, as it often has, seems only to bring her pain. So, you buy yourself some time to think. 
“Do you ever wish he had just kept it to himself? That you never knew any of this?”
Leigh appears briefly disconcerted by the question. She takes some time to think about how to respond, and you give her the time she needs, reaching for another piece of donut from the box. At this rate, you're on track to polish off half a dozen all by yourself.
“Knowing the truth hurt—a lot. It felt like I was suddenly a stranger to my own life,” Leigh says, looking somewhere distant before her eyes return to you. “But then again, knowing has changed how I see things, how I see him—and even how I see you. It’s given me a chance to see things as they really are, not just how I want them to be.”
“You never would’ve met me,” you say with a light-hearted grin, almost suggesting that maybe it was better she hadn’t. But Leigh gives you a look, a gentle sadness in her eyes that makes it clear she doesn’t entertain the thought of not having met you.
“What about you? Do you wish things had stayed hidden?” she asks, turning the question back on you.
A part of you—a very significant part—trembles on the edge of laying bare your feelings for her.
Fiddling with the edge of the donut box, you let a small smile flicker across your lips, but it doesn't reach your eyes. “There's something to be said for not knowing everything. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss,” you say softly. “I mean, not knowing can save you from a lot of unnecessary heartache.”
As you speak, you’re still weighing whether knowing Leigh is turning into an unnecessary heartbreak.
Leigh nods slowly, the corners of her mouth lifting in a bittersweet smile. “Well, when you put it that way, maybe not knowing some things is for the best.”
It feels like a silent agreement on that fine line between knowing everything and being happier not knowing. Perhaps what you can do for now is spare Leigh from her own unnecessary heartbreak. If what she has with Danny is working, why ruin it?
“You know what's missing here? Music,” Leigh muses, reaching for her third beer. “Oh, and you better keep up,” she adds, glancing at the single beer you’ve had.
“Or how about you pace yourself? I'd hate for the party to end too soon for you,” you quip slyly. 
Leigh grins, unfazed by your warning. She leans closer, and her breath, warmed by the beers, brushes against your cheek. “Speaking of parties, I actually got invited to this Halloween bash tonight. Everyone's supposed to be in costume, and there will definitely be music. We should go. What do you say?”
You pretend to think about it, but you’re already clearing out your trunk and hopping off it as you reply, “Well, you did say you needed music.”
-
A party isn’t really your scene.
Leigh is already tipsy by the time you both arrive at it. People are either clad in bulky costumes or barely dressed at all. Halloween decorations dangle from the ceiling, a foot or two above the faces of the revelers as strobe lights flash in erratic bursts. You weave through a crowd of zombies and sexy nurses, the bass from the DJ's speakers vibrating under your feet.
As you're both making your way toward the bar, a co-worker spots Leigh and pulls her aside excitedly. “Leigh, over here!” they shout over the noise, grabbing her arm. She turns back to you with a slightly apologetic grin. “Just a sec, I'll catch up!” she promises, before being swallowed by the crowd, her hand slipping from your arm.
But that was half an hour ago.
Now, you're feeling dizzy from the alcohol that's been keeping you company in Leigh's absence, and the sea of masked and painted faces around you is starting to merge into a blur. You round a corridor that brings you back to the main room and finally, you spot her. Leigh is near the dance floor, laughing with a group dressed in characters you don’t recognize. She sees you and waves excitedly, her movements a bit too exaggerated. You make your way over, dodging a particularly enthusiastic witch.
“Found you,” you say, as you reach her side.
Leigh grins, her eyes bright. “Dance with me!” she yells over the music, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the throng of sweaty bodies. Too exhausted to argue, you let her lead you into the chaos. As the music takes over and you both start to dance, the rest of the party fades into the background. Leigh's hand is warm in yours, her other hand reaching up to loop around your neck. The music swells, and the crowd presses in, pushing you closer together. Her breath is sweet with the tang of alcohol, and her cheeks are flushed.
Leigh’s movements become less and less coordinated as she leans into you, her body heavenly against yours. Her lips come dangerously close to yours, barely brushing against them, and for a moment—surrounded by her warmth and scent—you're tempted. You want her, deeply, irrevocably—
But not like this.
You firm your hands on her hips, pushing her slightly away. “Hey, let's get some air, yeah?” you suggest calmly despite your heart going crazy in your chest.
She looks up at you, a bit confused but nods, her smile unfaltering. You take her hand again and guide her off the dance floor. Moving through the crowd proves to be a challenge with Leigh's unsteady steps. She stumbles, laughing as she clings to your arm for support.
“I almost ate it back there!” she exclaims, still giggling.
“Yeah, you did,” you mutter distractedly. As the festive sounds of the party fade behind the closed door, reality slaps you both with a sobering chill. Leigh is simply too drunk, and you’re almost a fool for nearly taking advantage of that. You can't concentrate on anything but what nearly happened back there.
You feel Leigh’s hand slip back into yours, slotting in place like magnets that just fit together. Her laughter has quieted, and she leans into you slightly, resting her head on your shoulder. It's then you realize that a drunken Leigh is more affectionate and less aware of physical boundaries—dangerous.
“You know, maybe we should call it a night? I can take you home,” you suggest, making an effort not to lean into her, even though the intoxicating mix of her shampoo and the faint scent of sweat beckons you closer.
Her reaction is immediate and surprisingly lucid. “I can’t go home like this,” Leigh protests, straightening up. “Jules has her own Halloween thing tonight, and I can't show up drunk and be seen like this by her. She’s been sober for a year now; I can’t just...” Her voice trails off, filled with worry. 
You glance at your wrist and see it's already 2 AM. A sigh escapes you as the reality of your early morning responsibilities begins to weigh in. You have to be up in four hours to open the clinic at 8 AM, and staying out to make sure Leigh fully sobers up is far from feasible. Leigh appears exhausted, her eyes heavy, even as she tries to muster a smile.
“Listen, Leigh,” you say, eyeing a practical solution. “I have an early start tomorrow, and you look like you need some rest. How about you crash at my place tonight? You can sleep it off and head home in the morning when you’re feeling better.”
Leigh seems to consider this for a moment, her gaze drifting towards the street where groups of men glance their way as they pass by. Finally, she nods meekly, looking relieved.
“That sounds really good right now. My head feels heavy, and I just want to go to sleep,” she mumbles, letting out a weary sigh and rubbing her eyes. You help her to her feet and steady her as you both walk back to your car, which is fortunately parked nearby. Leigh curls up in the passenger seat, and you crack the windows to let in some fresh air.
Once home, you give Leigh some clothes to change into and then start setting up the couch for yourself, grabbing an extra pillow and blanket from the cupboard. As you turn back a while later, you see Leigh, in her slightly tipsy state, misinterpreting your preparations. She gives a small, tired smile and plops down onto the couch. Reacting quickly, you catch her just before she falls completely into it.
“W-What are you doing?” she whispers, surprised as she finds herself practically in your arms, half-carried in a bridal style.
You feel the heat rise from your cheeks to your chest, aware of how close she is. “This is for me,” you say, nodding towards the couch, “you’re taking the bed.”
To avoid any further confusion, you slowly lift her up, wrapping an arm securely around her waist as you guide her to your bedroom. Leigh’s head remains tucked in your neck, her body relaxed and yielding as you move.
“You really don’t have to do this,” she mumbles against your skin, though her tone suggests she’s grateful for your care. You don’t see the blush that has crept to her own cheeks, your eyes fixed straight ahead.
“It’s no trouble at all,” you assure her as you gently set her down on your bed. “Make yourself comfortable. The mattress’ much better for a good night's sleep.”
Leigh nods, pulling the covers around her. “Thank you,” she says, her voice soft and more sober now.
“Anytime,” you respond with a reassuring smile. “Good night, Leigh.” You close the bedroom door softly behind you and retreat to the couch. 
“Good night, Y/N…” Leigh whispers to herself, a faint smile touching her lips as she nestles deeper into the bed. 
282 notes · View notes
craisinsensation1029 · 21 hours
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Snuggle Bug
Toji Fushiguro
AO3 :)
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just toji being soft and domestic, thats it ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
~2k
SFW but minors still shoo
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It isn't hard to make assumptions about Toji with just one look.
With his imposing frame riddled with pounds of muscles, enough scars to rival any war hero, and an expression that screams I don’t tolerate nonsense, ever on his face, most people steer clear of him. 
There isn’t much merit in thinking so, but so many easily peg him as a douche, an asshole, a womanizer—someone that probably has the worst opinion on anything ever. 
While Toji has definitely judged more than one book by their cover, only sparing something a glance for no longer than a second before deciding whether or not it would be worth his time, he’s more than happy he was a book you were willing to read.
He still remembers having to build up the courage to ask you out on a date.
Every week he would treat Megumi to a few new books, and low and behold on a calm Sunday afternoon the sweet old manager was showing you the ropes on the cash register. 
He was enchanted by your smile, the natural grace that you had, the zest for life that you conveyed just through your love of reading. At first it was innocent, Toji being just as excited as Megumi for the weekly trip to the bookstore, flying to the children’s section to see if you had any exciting news on any new releases. There was even the time where you decided to do an impromptu story time just for Megumi because it was a slow day.
After that, Toji had to admit that he did get a bit more greedy, making more frequent trips to the bookstore and flashing you a crooked smile when you would look for the bite sized version of him. “Just me,” he’d laugh, hoping that crimson wasn’t painting his cheeks.
When people say expect the unexpected you always thought it was referring to something completely drastic, like seeing actual pigs fly or winning the lottery. Not seeing this big, burly man scratching the back of his neck and blushing while he waited for you to say something, but you couldn’t complain. You simply smiled at him and said, “Well you can read at a higher level than Megumi, right? Let me show you some other books.”
As the weeks went by, Toji was spending more time (and money—but you did give him your employee discount out of the kindness of your shining heart) at the bookstore, whether or not he had Megumi with him. 
“I put something else in the bag.” A cheeky smile that he couldn’t quite decipher was on your face as you pushed his purchase toward him.
He thanked you and was fighting every single urge not to pounce on the bag the moment he stepped out the door. The bit of self control he was able to maintain allowed him to wait until he got to the car, seeing a slip with your number scrawled on it right on top of the books he just bought.
He never felt nervous about making a phone call before that night, but every bit of tension eased from his body when your bright cadence filled his ears over the speaker.
Soon the two of you were texting good morning and good night here and there, the occasional how is your day going. It was far from that though. After a few weeks you were moving on to talking about new shipments of books, mentions of family, future plans. It became routine for both of you to talk on the phone nightly. Even if it was a day that he visited the bookstore, the true cherry on top of the cake was drifting off to sleep with the sound of your voice in his ears.
It only seemed natural for him to ask you out and make you his.
Being with Toji provides you with comfort and security not even money can buy. No one dares to cat call you with Toji by your side.
There’s something just so entertaining about seeing one of the people you adore the most making others cower in fear with just a simple glance, like having a big, vicious dog that growls at everyone in public but snuggles up to you in private.
And when it comes to snuggling, Toji is well versed in that department.
See, he doesn’t really believe in personal space; he can never be too close to you. 
If you’re washing dishes in the kitchen, his arms are wrapping around your waist, bending his head so it's resting in the crook of neck, sighing contentedly as he breathes in your scent.
Sitting on the couch? He’s scooching as close as possible next to you, entwining his fingers with yours, not even looking at whatever is on the television. He damn near crawled in your lap a few times, arguing that it was much more comfortable for him despite your legs screaming in protest.
He doesn’t even care if you’re in the shower, sitting on the toilet seat and waiting until you finish. His go to is usually getting in the shower with you, withstanding the boiling hot water you somehow consider an appropriate temperature. He had to build up his tolerance, feeling like his skin was going to melt off his body if he stayed there longer than five minutes. This would only make you laugh and say, “Toji, stop torturing yourself. I’ll be out soon.” He’d just grunt and give you that pouty face that makes you dab a kiss to his nose.
If you’re taking a bath, he used to drag a chair out from the dining room, but ended up buying a cozy bean bag just to make himself more comfortable and accompany you.
Much like a big dog though, Toji’s spatial awareness seems to be a bit... Lacking.
He doesn’t mean it, you know he doesn’t, but there are times when you swear he is trying to decimate you with the weight of his body.
Especially nights like tonight when he’s coming home late from work. 
Megumi already ate the dinner you made and has been fully entertained by a movie you watched together. Once you made sure he was snuggled in bed with his two favorite stuffed animals, the only thing left to do is wait for Toji to get home.
His job can be pretty unpredictable, leaving him coming home at late hours when the only thing he wants to do is be by your side, feeling the softness and the heat of your body while he closes his eyes and melds into you. 
His stomach is rumbling, screaming for sustenance. When he walks through the door he knows there’s going to be a plate of food already made for him, just waiting to be heated up, but eating is far from being the first thing on his mind. 
Instead he cracks open Megumi’s door first, a small smile forming on his face when he sees his little form tucked in, arms wrapped around those stuffed dogs while his chest gently rises and falls. He closes the door behind him, making the few steps to the bedroom that he shares with you.
It was obvious you tried your best to stay up and wait for him, indicative by the bedside lamp still being on and the book laying facedown on your lap. Though your thrown back head, the bit of drool leaking from the side of your mouth, and soft snores coming from your body shows your efforts were unfortunately in vain.
This just adds to the smile on his face, silently slinking back out of the room so he can eat and take a shower. You’re still blissfully asleep once he emerges from his shower. He carefully opens the dresser, opting for just a pair of boxer briefs.
He turns off the bedside light and carefully secures the place in your book with the bookmark you left next to you on the bed. 
Despite his attempts at being gentle, the bed always creaks beneath his weight when he gets on it. The sound isn’t quite enough to wake you, only stirring a bit in your sleep.
With himself securely in the bed he moves in closer calling your name gently. Still, you only stir, murmuring out something unintelligible while your head turns to the side slightly.
He takes the opportunity to lay his head on your chest, listening to the soft beating of your heart while his fingers are drumming lightly against your stomach. The feeling always makes him melt, indulging in every pliant dip and curve of your body, the velvety texture of your skin such a contrast to the calluses and roughness of his own. 
It isn’t long before his hands are exploring, moving down to caress the swell of your hips and making their way back up to feel the dip in your waist. All the while his head stays on your chest, as if his skull is a sword that will do anything imaginable to defend your heart.
He stays like this for a while, the thumping of your heart serving as his own personal white noise, the sensation of your skin beneath his touch alleviating all the stress of work.
“Mmm,” you groan, slowly opening your eyes only to be greeted by darkness and consumed by heat. “Toji.”
At the sound of your voice he slowly opens his eyes, immediately pulling you closer to him and panting a slew of kisses on your cheek. “You were sleeping when I got in,” he murmurs against your cheek, plopping another kiss there. “Didn’t want to wake you up.”
You’re not sure what time you fell asleep, but tap the screen on your phone, squinting at the harshness of its brightness. It’s a bit past four in the morning now, rain beating down gently against the windows.
“Like you’ve cared about waking me up before,” you laugh gently, playfully rolling over to escape both his hold and the slobbery kisses he insists on planting on you.
“Come here.” A fit of giggles leaves your lips as you continue rolling over, just out of reach every time he tries to wrap his arm around you again. He lets you have it for a few more moments, letting you tire yourself until you’re completely breathless with laughter. Like a tiger waiting to strike he ambushes you, caging your body between his arms and letting his weight settle on top of you.
“Toji!” You try your best to contain your squeal knowing Megumi is sleeping just beyond the thin walls.
“What?” His voice is muffled as his head takes refuge in the crook of your neck, his lips pressing softly against the sensitive skin there. He feels your pulse quicken every time his lips brush against your skin. “I missed you.” 
No matter how many jokes you make about canceling his gym membership or making sure he never has another protein shake again you wouldn’t trade the feeling of this for anything. One hand rubs small circles into his back while the other snakes around to the nape of his neck. He nuzzles further into your neck, humming with satisfaction when your fingers thread through hair and delicately massage his scalp.
“I missed you, too.” He doesn’t say anything, but you feel the curve of his lips against your neck as his arms maneuver beneath you, cradling your body tight.  
The warmth of his embrace quickly lulls you back into a state of unconsciousness, only willing for the serenity to end when you wake up, ready to appreciate him with bright eyes, marking another day together.
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am-i-interrupting · 2 days
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Hi! I love your Hazbin Hotel stuff and I wanted to make a request. If you haven’t done something like this, could you write the Hazbin characters, specifically Vox, Lucifer, Husk, and maybe Lute with an S/O (would prefer fem but G/N is fine) who has bad body dysmorphia? Like, they can never take compliments about their body, always thinking they’re overweight, not eating, etc. If this is too difficult/uncomfortable, totally understand! Would hate to trigger anything. Hope you have a great day/night!
If you like what I’m doing consider tipping me for priority requests & access to characters I don’t usually write for such as Charlie, Valentino, Carmilla, and more.
Husk
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Husk will never compliment you in public after figuring out that you hate to be complimented.
That does not mean that he’ll never compliment you.
He will because he truly thinks you’re beautiful.
He simply elects to do it in private so he will be able to explain to you in length why he disagrees.
He wants you to understand why he loves every single thing about you.
Maybe you don’t agree but he will let you know why he thinks it’s all so beautiful.
He doesn’t try to make you love it all like he does but he will at least try to make you accept that he loves it.
Lucifer
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Lucifer can’t understand why you don’t see your own beauty.
At least at first.
Then he realizes how close self loathing is close to depression and how they can often intertwine and how hypocritical it is to be so befuddled by your lack of understanding of his love of you & your body when he can’t understand how giving people free will is a good thing in any capacity and wow— he was too hard on you and himself.
Hello, something new to unpack with a therapist.
He definitely starts being more understanding after that revelation.
Not that he was ever cruel but he was a lot more insistent on how amazing you are not understanding that his insistence may not help but could make it worse.
It could make you think he was lying, covering up some hidden disdain with an over abundance of praise like he does with sinners who thank him for free will.
He’s not.
Make no mistake. He truly does love and adore you and every single part of you is amazing in his eyes but he understands.
He lets up on his pouring compliments and his combativeness over whether or not he means it.
He still compliments you but he no longer fights with you.
He just says what he thinks and then goes on, ignoring any expression of disbelief with a small, “A difference of opinion.”
Lute
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You cannot dislike her partner.
Not allowed. No one can dislike her amazing partner.
Will spare with you when you disregard her compliments.
She means what she says.
Why would she waste her breath with words that weren’t true when she doesn’t have to?
Everything she says is said because she means it.
You best learn that.
Vox
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No, no, no, no.
You don’t love your body? Unacceptable.
“Velvette! A photo shoot is in order right now!” “I’m busy!” “Well, clear you schedule!”
Velvette actually has a way of making you feel a bit more confident without seeming like she’s trying.
The photo shoot actually goes well even if you refuse to look at the pictures.
Of course, that doesn’t last long because Vox puts them up in his office, just too large and gigantic to ignore.
He has pictures of you everywhere because he loves looking at you.
Will kiss every part of you in front of a mirror while saying why he loves every part and forcing you to look at yourself otherwise he’ll stop. He records the entire thing to watch back later.
If you like what I’m doing consider commissioning me for canon/canon stories AND personalized canon/reader stories.
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minsh0e · 2 days
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mini astrology observations 2/?
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hi hi ! i am back with another mini astrology observations. I want to thank you all for such an amazing reaction to my “work”, and for all your positive/negative comments that you left for me. these opinions make me realize a lot and will definitely make me grow further in the future… before you move on to the reading, i want to say, that I am not a professional, so take everything lightly. as always, have fun reading <3
p.s. - photos are mine :)
...
☆ people with empty 1st house may lack life guidance or be less aggressive while voicing their opinions. on the contrary though, they might judge people based on their personality and manners, not appearance or first impressions.
☆ libra risings literally don’t have to wear makeup as they look/feel better without it
☆ in my first/last observations, i talked about the mars and/trine venus synastry and how it can be the first thing that pulls you in. in this case, mars represents the man and venus represents the woman. last time, i talked about how i got attracted to the men, who have mars in the same element as my venus but i haven´t mentioned, that all of them had virgo mars...
i have a theory of mine (that i observed on me and others) in which venus mostly gets attracted to the mars sign of same element that is positioned clockwise (e.g. scorpio -> cancer) and mars mostly gets attracted to the venus that is positioned anti-clockwise (cancer -> scorpio)…i have, however, observed this on people who are attracted to the opposite gender not the same gender, therefore, i can’t really tell you nothing about how this works for homosexuals.
-> please let me know what you think about this/what are your experiences if you have time :)
☆ this is a very random observation that you can skip if you want to…our dog it considered to be beautiful by most of the people we met/meet. he has shiny, colorful fur, symmetrical face and body color placements. i decided to check out his natal chart for fun and found out, that he has libra venus in 5th house…interpret this as you want, but i guess, that you can really apply astrology to anything :)
☆ people with sagittarius mars are the ones, who love the sports/movement the most. they are amazing at doing anything physical, so you can literally see them being great at any sport…even if they do it for the first time. they may be interested in a lot different kinds too.
☆ those with lilith in 8th house get sexualized/objectified a lot. if you have lilith (or any other lilith) in this house, you were most likely introduced to the “sexual” more early in your life and matured more faster then your other peers. also, you might be randomly called/shouted at by other disrespectful people on the streets…i was really surprised to find out, that this is not really talked about that much, so here i am…
☆ another observation i talked about in past were pisces/12th house placements. i talked about how sleepy and tired they can get without any specific reason but let me tell you…all the water signs/house placements get like this and it's mostly because of said no reason or when they get tired just by thinking about working on something/having to describe something to the other person.
☆ degrees are a very important part of reading an astrology…if you have time, please learn/read about them
the end.
these observations were slightly shorter, so i am sorry about that :(
again, feel free to leave your feedback :)
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crippled-peeper · 1 day
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I really used to love your blog, but you are being incredibly hostile to people who want to learn and you are assuming people mean to be malicious. As a disabled person, I totally get it. In a sense, pretty much anything that isn't a specifically disabled space (and even sometimes those as well) ARE hostile to disabled people and create tons of barriers that make it difficult just to survive and exist. I understand your frustration, I understand that it is something you desperately need to express. But at some point, it becomes better for you to let the opinions of others go or to try and shift your mindset that not everyone is out to attack you. By all means, block whoever you want to block, express yourself however you want to express yourself. But as a fellow disabled person, I no longer can relate to or find comfort in your posts. Most of which as of lately are FILLED with hostility and are incredibly defensive (which again, I TOTALLY understand.) I only send this ask to wish the best for you. I hope that you can find some place that feels safe, some place and people who accommodate and take care of you. I hope that you can believe in a future where people truly want to help and learn. And I hope that the hate in your heart does not continue to grow. Hating the world does not keep you safe from it. You do not need to bring hostility to the world, the way it seems to do for you. I wish for you to feel safe enough to have an open heart and find happiness as a disabled person.
Hey. I just want you to know that I don’t care like not even slightly. Please unfollow me, in fact block me. I have no patience for this manipulative bullshit.
I’m going to die some day (probably sooner rather than later) and I don’t exist to suck your toes and jack you off while you constantly question my humanity and my right to have the most basic human comforts
Maybe you should work on why you see other disabled human beings (who have feelings, btw!) as living Wikipedia pages who should calmly and joyously educate you while you say stupid shit to them, repeatedly, and without a single care about how it makes them feel.
I know you thought it would be, but my self worth is not located in the approval of random people who don’t even have the balls to come off anon and talk to me.
Farewell, bucko.
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justmeinadaze · 2 days
Text
Children of the Night Part 9 (Steddie X You)
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Warnings: Daddy Vampire Eddie/Switch Vampire Stevie and Sub Human/Vamp Fem Reader, SMUT, dp, dirty talk, light spanking, light choking, blood drinking (obviously), slight roughness but more passionate, FLUFF, these three weirdos love each other so much <3.
ANGST, ANGST, ANGST!!
Domestic abuse and Child abuse triggers (we learn everything about the reader here including the abuse she's gone through including gaslighting and physical abuse) It's briefly touched on how the police didn't help her. Personally I felt like this added to her mistrust of authority like that mixed in with how law enforcement handled everything that happened with Eddie in Hawkins.
S4 things are touched on including Chrissy and what happened with Lucas, Erica, and Gareth. Brief conversations with readers mom, Wayne, and Mr. Harrington (the latter being an asshole of course). I think that's everything. The main thing I wanted to focus on was the abuse triggers. I know that can be triggering especially since some of the dialogue with the mother is lifted from things my own abusive parent said to me.
Love you guys! Enjoy this final piece.
Series here/ Buy Me a Coffee :)
Word Count: 7400
StokersGirl86: “Oh my god. I’m so excited. What do you think they are going to do?!”
Dannyalwayshere1: “I imagine it’s going to big after everything going on in the news right now.”
Minaismygirl: “Eddie better release Y/N so she can come find me. I can take care of her!”
StokersGirl86: “Oh please. You really think she’s innocent in all this?!”
StokersGirl86: “She was a fan just like us. No matter what her criminal mom preaches on tv.”
LivingDeadBoy24: “Like mother like daughter :P.”
Living DeadBoy24: “Maybe Eddie will sacrifice her the same way he did Chrissy Cunningham. I’ve been reading about what happened. It’s amazing.”
Justice4ChrissyCunningham: “You all should be ashamed of yourselves! An innocent girl was murdered and another may be kidnapped! They don’t need to be put up on a pedestal. They need to be behind bars!”
Dannyalwayshere1: “I see you think Steve Harrington is guilty to?”
CaliforniaPD: “This is the California police department and currently we seem to be having trouble disconnecting this stream. That being the case, we do highly recommend that everyone log off this site and do not engage.”
VampQueen91: “Yeah sure. Nice try whoever you are. I thought the police already had their location. Yet they can stream??”
Minaismygirl: “Because California PD sucks lol But who knows, maybe they just need them to stream to catch them…”
The video feed begins counting down and as soon as it ends three faces illuminate everyone’s screens. Both men were shirtless with hair frayed every which way as their black eyes starred into the camera with a small smirk painted on both their lips. 
“Hm. I see everyone’s here and already has opinions.”, you growl as you quickly take in everyone’s words that flew across the screen. “We wanted to come on today to set the record straight about a few things. First and foremost, Edward Munson and Steven Harrington are dead. YOU killed them when you placed blame for something they didn’t do.”
Justice4ChrissyCunningham: Edward Munson murdered Chrissy in his trailer in cold blood. 
“Oh, sweetheart. I can’t imagine how much you must be hurting, Andrew. You lost three friends in the span of a week to such odd circumstances. Of course, it would just be easier to blame Eddie. It’s the only thing that would make since right? Not that some other man come in and hurt her.”
Justice4ChrissyCunningham: I don’t know who you think I am but—
His picture suddenly flew up onto the screen for everyone to see. 
“Normally I’m not one to display people’s personal business this way but after everything I’ve read and the things they told me, you can go fuck yourself. I see here while Eddie was missing you and Jason Carver assaulted a young man named Gareth in his garage. Police report says you and your friends jumped them while playing hero; broke the young man’s nose.”
The long-haired vampire growled deep from his chest at the accusation. 
“It also looks like in March of 03, you tackled a middle schooler and threatened to break her arm if she didn’t tell you guys where Eddie was. That seems to be the same night Mr. Carver also beat up a young man while he was trying to protect his girlfriend. Hm. How odd that you were there for the last few deaths.”, you muse as you glance towards Steve who continues to glare forward.
“The night Steve went missing his blood was found mixed with two other jocks about your age. Friends, Andy? He tells me they were there to hurt him because he missed the man he loved. Kind of seems like violence is normal for athletes in Hawkins. Maybe that’s why Chrissy felt more comfortable with Eddie. I can’t imagine how angry that made Jason feel. Maybe angry enough…to kill?”
The count of people in the stream both drastically dropped including Andy and then suddenly increased with a new flux of people. 
California PD: “Miss Y/L/N if you are in danger we can help you. 
“I don’t need your help. I’m not a hostage with these men. If anything, I was a hostage growing up with the mother that you all so quickly rallied behind including you, Officer Williams. I spent my whole life dealing with people like you. Willing to believe any narrative that fit your agenda. I have been beaten and abused by almost everyone in my life but these men have done nothing but love and protect me! And you want to punish them for that?”
California PD: “Last chance Y/N. Tell us where you are and we can save you.”
“I told you… I’m safe right here…with Renfield and Dracula. My name… is Mina.”
With that both vampires bared their fangs and bit into either side of your neck.
##############
2 Weeks Before
Eddie didn’t say a word as he got up and angrily stomped back towards the bedroom. 
“Baby, please.”, you pleaded as you watched him pull out the suitcases from their closet and throw them on the bed. “We had to have this conversation at some point—”
“No, we don’t. The answer will always be the same. No. Fuck no. Hell no. Take your pick.”
“Why?”
“Because I fucking said so. Now, start packing your shit because we are leaving in 30.”
“No.” The vampire paused as he slowly turned to face you. “No, fuck no, hell no. Take your fucking pick.”
Stalking towards you, he stopped till his nose was hovering just above your own.
“Get you shit and get ready to leave.”, he rumbled.
“You sound like John right now. You don’t command me, Edward.”
“Yes, sweetheart, I do. That’s what you agreed to, remember? You and Steve are mine—”
“In bed.”, Steve interrupted, coming around the corner. “In bed we belong to you. She’s still her own woman and is allowed to make her peace. Let’s hear what she has to say.”
“Steven, you and I didn’t have a choice. She does—”
“So you’re going to make it for her?” The long-haired vampire’s jaw clenches as he places his hands on his hips. “You’re right, I didn’t have a choice which is why we never had to have the conversation she wants to have but I always thought about it. If I was still human, you would have remained the same and I would have grown old. We would have lost each other again…”
Eddie’s glassy eyes glance his way as he sighs and takes a seat on the bed.
“After the last time she left and we didn’t have her…I’d rather not experience that now or even 50 years from now.”
“I guess we know what your vote is.”, he sasses. 
“I think we can do this in a controlled way so what happened to us doesn’t happen to her especially since we would be doing it without her being hurt or wounded.”
“Fuck. O-Ok but I do it and we can change her after we get where we are going—”
“There’s no rush. I genuinely don’t believe they know where you are and are banking on us streaming again but we can find out. I can find out which guys are working the case and go through the digital file. I didn’t do it before because I didn’t want to put us at risk if I didn’t have to.”, you respond as you sit beside him. “I…I also think we should stream you changing me—”
“That’s a fuck no and I’m not budging on that. I don’t care what you both tell me.”
“I actually agree with him on that one, honey.”
“No, no. I mean we should do this together privately but make our fans and police believe you’re changing me. It will keep them invested to keep the revenue coming no matter where we go and show the police that we aren’t afraid of them. We now know that we can suck each other’s blood so…”
As Eddie sighs again, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and kiss his cheek. 
“I love you, Eddie. I trust you and I know I’m safe with you; both of you.”
Turning to face you, he kisses your forehead and holds you to him. 
“Do what you have to do, babe, and we’ll start getting things together.”
***
While the guys packed and ran out to grab some extra blood packs, you did some research into the people hunting for you three. You were right that they hadn’t found you yet but they were getting closer. One of the officers grabbed one of Dustin’s pings he created and traced it to the next town over. 
“Hey pretty girl.”, Steve cooed as he slumped down onto his knees beside you. “What did you find out?”
“We’re still ok. They haven’t found us yet and from what I see here they most likely need us to stream again. Now this is a new development.”
Moving the mouse, you click on the news website in the background and play the clip you stumbled on earlier that day. 
“So you say, Mrs. Y/L/N, you saw Y/N with Mr. Harrington and Mr. Munson?”
“Yes! Oh my goodness.”, your mother sobbed. “She came to visit me in the hospital because I was sick. She was always such a sweet girl. They threatened my life and then dragged her away. They are awful people.”
Feeling your anger, Eddie swished into the room as the other vampire petted your head. 
“If you could say anything to your daughter, what would it be?”
“You monsters let my baby go! I love you, Y/N! So…so much…I can’t…”
“That’s not all I found.”, you whisper, clicking another link and pressing play. 
“Mr. Munson! Mr. Munson! How do feel about the content your nephew is posting? Do you think he’ll kill Y/N like he did Chrissy?”
“Get off my property! My nephew…my nephew is dead. Haven’t you and this town sullied his memory enough!”
“Police seem to have strong evidence that this is Edward Munson.”
“Well, if he is alive…I hope he stays away. He can be happier with Steven away from these fuckers!” Eddie’s uncle pauses before entering the house the reporters were following him to. “I also want him to know that I love and miss him. I hope your happy, son.”
Steve grabs his partner’s hand as his stoic features faulter and tears begin to slowly fall that he quickly wipes away. 
“Mr. and Mrs. Harrington! Anything to say about your son?!”
“We’ve made a statement already! Go away!”
The vampire’s eyes narrow at the sound of his dad’s voice. 
“You really don’t think that’s your son in the videos?”
“I know for a fact that’s not my son. No son of mine would engage in that behavior nor be in a relationship with a freak like Edward *beep* Munson. Now leave us be so we can grieve our son in peace!”
“I’m sorry.”
“No reason to be, honey.”, he sighs shaking away the frustration. “We, um, got some more blood and we got you some more clothes. We found a house up north; I just need to—”
Eddie’s lips cut his boyfriend off as he cupped his face in his hands and pulled his body closer to his own. When he finally pulled away both boys were panting heavily. 
“I love you, Steve Harrington.”
The pretty vampire smiled softly as his fingers lightly moved some of the other man’s hair out of his face. 
“I love you to, Eddie Munson.” His mouth gently kissed him again as he began to sing making the metalhead breathily chuckle. “I’d give up forever to touch you. Cause I know that you feel me somehow.”
“You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now.”, he sings back. “We don’t have a song for Y/N.”
“Oh, I don’t need one. It’s ok.”
“No, no, baby. Let’s see what we got.”, Steve smiles as he pushes the button on the stereo and starts searching through stations. He and Eddie cringe as a few come through that aren’t suitable in anyway making you laugh. 
“Hey, wait. Go back.” After the vampire does what he asks, you three listen as the long-haired boy grins and bobs his head.
“And I wonder When I sing along with you
If everything could ever be this real forever If anything could ever be this good again The only thing I'll ever ask of you You've got to promise not to stop when I say when She sang…”
Taking ahold of your hand, Eddie spins you as you both smile and he sings along.
“I don’t think I’ve ever heard this one before.”, Steve muses as he watches you two dance. 
After letting you go, you grab a hold of his waist and he circles his arms around you as you sing.
“Breathe out So I can breathe you in Hold you in And now I know you've always been…”
Smiling, his lips kiss your forehead as you press your head into his chest. 
“I love you both so much.”
“We love you to, sweetheart.”, Eddie replies as he comes behind you and holds you both tightly.
***
“What if I kill you.”
“You won’t, baby. I trust you.”, you try to comfort as you cup his cheek. 
Nodding, he tilted towards you, placing soft tender kisses on your lips and along your cheek to your neck. When you feel him hesitate, you run your fingers through his hair and whisper adoration for him as you wait. 
When his fangs bit into you, you were surprised how fast you blood left your body. Steve’s worried eyes watched as the color left your face and the sight killed him. Your eyes rolled shut and a tear left his eye as the memory of finding Eddie in the upside down flashed through his mind. 
The vampire wanted to calm him but he couldn’t. 
He had to focus on you. 
After releasing his hold on you, he hurriedly wiped your blood from his chin and bit into his wrist offering it to you.
“Come on, baby girl. Come on. We need you to drink.” Just as Steve’s had, your eyes snapped open as the sweet taste hit your lips and you began to drink from him. “Fuck…good girl, princess. Mmph…There you go.”
Abruptly, you detached from his arm and passed out against the pillow as Eddie began to dizzily fall back. 
“Whoa, honey. I got you. Are you ok?”
“B-Blood, Steve. I need… please.”
He didn’t waste any time, running to the kitchen and back as he tore the bag open for his partner to take. 
“What happens now?”
“Now, we wait.”
Neither man left your side as they kept a diligent eye on you. Eddie held your hand while Steve kept his palm on your chest to make sure you were still breathing.
“It’s weird…I can’t feel her anymore.”
“When she wakes up you will and it will be more in tune. When you woke up that feeling was incredibly strong.”
Hearing the sadness in his voice, Steve reaches over runs his fingers along his face. 
“What are you thinking about, baby?”
“Everything.” Eddie glances his way and his boyfriend’s loving gaze fills him with warmth. “I never thought about the future. I guess because I was stuck like this…it didn’t even occur to me that you two would age and I wouldn’t. When would you have asked me?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t even know how to bring it up. All I really wanted was for us to have what we always talked about. A happy, simple life away from all the bullshit in Hawkins.” Steve grins when his partner chuckles. “A nice two-bedroom home where we could settle down and have a family. Three boys and three girls you and I would spoil rotten. I would work some office job with so-so benefits and brag about my rockstar husband who was on tour but coming home soon.”
Eddie couldn’t hold it in anymore as the last couple days events hit him and he began to cry. 
“I know, honey. I know”, he cooed as he held his free hand. 
#############
The sound of something crashing to the ground startles both vampires as they sit up and jump out of bed realizing you were no longer between them. They could feel you though; fuck could they feel you.
“Jesus, Eddie…”, Steve groaned as his head lulled to the side.
“I-I know. Stay focused. We need t-to get our girl back first.”
“I don’t know if I can.”, the vampire whined as his palm began absently grazing the bulge in his pants. 
“You will because I told you to, little boy. Do you understand?”, Eddie hissed. 
“Y-Yes, Daddy.”
Slowly moving down the hall, they searched every nook and cranny before something loud in the kitchen caught their attention. They found you on the floor balancing on your heels in your bra and shorts they had laid you down in. The sound of your growling filled the room as you continued to bang on the refrigerator door with your palm. 
“Y/N.”
Jumping at the sound of Eddie’s voice, you fell on to your butt and pressed your back to the cabinets as your black eyes glared his way. 
“Sweetheart, everything’s ok. You’re alright.”
It took you moment but something in your face softened and your crawled towards him, pushing him back slightly before banging your hand on the door again. 
“Daddy. Hungry.”
“You’re hungry, baby?” Reaching in, he takes out a bag and tears it open, handing it to you. Your wide eyes watch him as if he’s figured out a riddle you had spent thousands of years trying to solve and when he offers you what you want, you take it from him without question and chug it back. “Good. Good girl.”
After three blood packs and a peaceful smile on your face, even Eddie could still feel a hunger within you.
“What do you need, pretty girl? Tell me.”
Steve couldn’t control it any longer as his eyes darkened and his own hunger took over. Grabbing his partner’s shirt, he pushed him to the side as he began to crawl towards you. In your state, you perceived the action as hostile and practically roared as you tackled his chest, pinning him to the floor.
“NO! Bad boy…hurt…Daddy!”
His wrists tried to push against your hands but you were much stronger than before. Eddie couldn’t help but be utterly fascinated as he watched you both interact. 
“Say…SORRY!” When he hesitates, your nose presses to his as you growl in a low voice that makes them both hard. “Now.”
“Sorry…Daddy…Sorry, honey.”
At the term, your eyes blink in surprise as you sit up slightly to gaze along his features. Steve’s own black irises search your face for recognition, finding it in your sudden shift of demeanor.
“Steve…”, you coo as lean down and run your nose up his bare, hairy chest to his neck. “Boy…hungry?” He nods emphatically, literally ripping your shorts from your body after pulling down his pants enough to free his cock. “Ask.”
A small whine leaves him as he turns to face Eddie whose eyes were now also black as he stroked his own length while watching you. 
“Daddy…hungry. Please?”
He growled in response, hastily coming up to take his place behind you and runs his tongue up your spine to your shoulder. You mewl as you lower yourself down onto the man beneath you, gripping his neck to pull him up so you could press his head into your chest. Clinging to your hips, the metalhead guided himself into your ass and your head fell back onto his shoulder as they both roughly thrust into you.
When their fangs pierced your skin, you clenched around them causing them both to grunt and hold you tighter. 
“Steve…Eddie…fuck.”
As your fingers tangled into his hair, you bit down on the pretty boy’s shoulder and his moan reverberated through the house as his body shook while releasing his seed inside you. The metalhead circled around to rub fast circles into your clit and you came off Steve with a heavy pant as he fell back onto the floor.
Taking ahold of his arm pressed to your chest, you brought it to your mouth as you bit into the skin. Eddie’s head flew back as your pussy quivered around him and you came hard. Yanking your hair, he shoved your face next to his boyfriend’s as he chased his high and with a few more aggressive thrusts warmed your insides. 
Heavy breathing filled the room as both boys passed out beside you. 
#################
5-year-old you pulls her knees to her chin as you hid under the kitchen table listening to your parents fight. 
“Fuck you! You want to leave me than fucking leave and take that little brat with you.”
“I can’t! Jesus, you never listen! Marnie, doesn’t want kids right now.”
“Oh, oh. The slut doesn’t want kids so I guess whatever she says goes. I didn’t want kids either yet here we are!”, your mother slurs. 
You listen to the sound of his footsteps as he stomps out the door leaving you behind. Glass shatters as the beer bottle she threw hits the wall before she falls to her knees and sobs. 
12-year-old you cries as the police officer lifts you into his arms and tries to carry you out of the foster home you were physically fighting to stay in. 
“Y/N, come on! You need to go be with your mom.”
“NO! I want to stay here! Please don’t make me go back!” You kick the officer, hitting his stomach causing him to drop you to the floor. As fast as you could you get up and run to the woman you had been calling mom for over 6 months. “Please! I’m sorry. I’ll be good. I promise!”
“Sweetheart, listen to me.”, she empathetically murmurs as she sinks to her knees. “It’s time for you to be with your mom. Who knows maybe things will be different this time.”
“It-It won’t. It never is.”
You and your boyfriend panted as you tried to catch your breath hiding under the pier. 
“Woo, that was close!”, he laughs as 15-year-old you grins up at him. “But hey, now we can eat.”
Tossing the wallet to the side, he takes out the money and reaches for your hand as he guides up the bank towards the stores above. After purchasing a burger and some fries, you both share it as he lights a cigarette and stares off into the distance.
“I love you.”
“I love you to, babe.”, you smile as you bite into a fry. 
When his fingers reach out to touch your face, you can’t help but flinch when his thumb grazes the cut on your lip from when he thought you were giving him attitude. 
“I really do. Things are going to get better, Y/N. I promise.”
She couldn’t even make it three months. The police had brought you back home and as soon as they left your mother went off about you running away and how that made her look. By the third month, you tried to leave again and she stopped you. 
“What happened to your arm, Y/N? You said you fell?”, the doctor asked as he began wrapping the cast around the limb. 
You didn’t move or say a word as you stared off into the void. What was the point? The cops knew how she was yet they kept bringing you back. Even if you told this doctor the truth it wouldn’t matter.
“Sweetheart, I can help you. I just need you to tell me what happened.” The man sighs when you remain silent before whispering under his breath. “You don’t have to say anything just nod your head, ok? Did you fall?”
Your eyes meet his for a brief moment before autopilot takes over and you shake your head. 
“Did your mother do this? Did she grab you?”
You nod.
“Ok.”
You stare at the screen in front of you as two men known as Renfield and Dracula make love to each other before biting his neck. A heavy sigh left you at the action and the human boy’s moan hit straight to your heart down to your core. 
You had been watching them for over a month now and you couldn’t explain it but something about them just pulled you in. Hearing their voices and watching how they took care of each other made you feel safe. It’s part of the reason you kept coming back even though you knew if John ever found out you were seeing this he’d probably kill you. 
That following day you were surprised when a message from the site appeared when you signed in from the creators themselves inviting you to a private session. 
When their faces illuminated your screen, a little sigh left your chest. They were both so handsome up close. Because of the technology, you weren’t able to really see their features before but now you could see them in all their glory. Dracula’s eyes fluttered slightly behind his mane of hair. 
“Hey Mina.”
Renfield glances his way in surprise as his partner spoke. Usually, he was the one that did the bulk of the talking so when he initiated, he was taken a back. 
InnocentLittleMina: Hello.
“Hey, honey. We, um, we just wanted to reach out to you because we see you pop up from time to time. You don’t talk or engage very much.”
InnocentLittleMina: Yeah. A lot of the people here are kind of rude.
“Ha. Yeah they are. We were wondering and we understand if you say no but would you want to work for us? Dracula says a moderator could really help us get some control over these people. You don’t have to tell us your name or anything. We can send money straight to your account.”
InnocentLittleMina: You’d pay me?
“Yeah, honey. Of course.”
“However much you want.”, Dracula adds again making his partner’s head quirk to the side. “You just…seem like a kind person with a good heart.”
InnocentLittleMina: You don’t know me.
“We’d like to.”
His words flow through you almost as if you can feel how genuine they are. What’s the worst that could happen?
InnocentLittleMina: “Ok. I’d love to help.”
***
Both men groan as their eyes open and take in the scene before them. After what they saw, they couldn’t care less. They just needed to find you. 
Rising to their feet, they power walk down the hall to find you closing a suitcase and quietly taking a seat on the bed. Your eyes lock with theirs as you softly smile and shrug. 
“See? I told you I had experienced real monsters.”
“Sweetheart.”, Eddie breathed as he sat beside you and pulled you to his chest. “I’m so fucking sorry you went through all that. We would never ever fucking hurt you like them.”
“Or let anyone hurt you like that.”, Steve added as he knelt in front of you. “How are you feeling?”
“Calm. Clear. It’s weird. I’ve never felt like this before. I feel like I’m…home.”
“Because you are, baby.”, the pretty boy cooed as he kissed your palms. 
“While you two were asleep, I packed up some clothes for us. I’m not sure what else we need.”
“Let me see if that relator guy called.”
After he disappeared, the metalhead cupped your face in his hands as his eyes ran along your face. You still looked like the girl they fell in love with but you seemed to have this air of confidence surrounding you that made him fall even harder. 
“I wish I could have seen your life the way I saw his and you two saw mine. I think it’s because him and I are new…”
“Oh, baby girl, trust me. You don’t want to see that. Not all in succession like that. Everything kind of sucked till I met Steve. Before him it was a blur of heartache and anger.” When he sighed, your palm circled around the back of his neck and brought his forehead down to yours eliciting a small, nervous chuckle to fall from his lips. “Fuck…are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”, you murmur. 
“Y/N, I’m a jaded asshole.”, he laughed. “It takes me a while to trust anyone and feel safe but the feeling running through me right now… God it’s so quiet. I can breathe.”
“Because that’s how I feel with you two, Daddy. You’re feeling me.”
“Fuck, Y/N.”, he groaned, his lips falling to the side of your neck. 
“Wait…Wait, Eddie. I need to show you both something first.”
####################
Present Day
“Ok, Williams, we’re right outside the door. Going in, in two.”
The officer paces around his desk as he glares at the screen watching both men continue to feed while blood drips down your neck. 
“Good. They’re still streaming in front of their computer. Be careful! They shouldn’t be armed but I’m not sure if they’ll react hostilely.”
“Entering in, 3, 2, 1. GO, BOYS!”
As soon as the door kicked in, a little box appears at the corner of your current feed showing the raiding team running through the house. Everything was still in its place including the blood staining the floor by the fridge. 
“We have all eyes on us, guys. Go slow.”
When they find the bedroom, they scream into the void for you three to get down… 
Only to find now one there.
The swat leader walked towards the computer, tearing off the note that was taped to the screen.
“I shall be glad as long as I live that even in that moment of final dissolution, there was in the face a look of peace, such as I never could have imagined might have rested there.
Our souls are knit into one, for all life and all time.
-Mina”
“FUCK!”, Officer Williams shouted as he kicked the chair in front of him. 
CaliforniaPD: You can keep running all you want but you are just making it harder on yourselves! We found you once and we can find you again!”
You whine as your head falls against Steve’s chest and your black eyes flash towards the screen with a small smile. 
“Good luck with that. I’m sorry to say, for you, we’re a lot stronger now than we’ve ever been.”, Eddie rumbled sarcastically towards the camera. 
As you pull away to lean against the metalhead’s shoulder, the other vampire growls low with needs as his head follows yours for a moment before hesitating to focus on the camera. 
“We don’t want any trouble. We just want to be left alone to be happy together but we will gladly do this dance again to keep ourselves protected and keep her safe!”
Your palm ran down his back, calming him as he tilted his head to place open mouth kisses on your shoulder as his own hand absently traveled under your shirt to run along the skin of your stomach. Eddie growled at the action as both vampires glared at each other. Grabbing his throat, the long-haired boy pulled his boyfriend’s lips to his own passionately.
“I think you all have had enough of a show…and I’m…hungry.” At the last word, your tone drops and after you wink towards the camera, you move the mouse, and shut it down.
***
“Did you guys see that? Over one million people were watching us!”, you giggle excitedly.
“Mhmm.”
Both vampires were still distracted as they detached from each other to kiss your neck again. Grinning as you bit your lip, wind messed their hair as you flash ran towards the other side of your new shared bedroom. 
“Oh, come on, boys. Now focus.”
Trying to run after you, you hastily sprinted away, your beautiful laugh filling the new house you three were going to be living in. Eddie was the one to catch you first, practically tackling you to the ground in the living room and pinning your wrists beside your head. 
“Hi, Daddy.”
As you beam up at him, he can’t help but smile down at you before bringing his lips to yours. Your hands flex in his grip but he remains steadfast as he kisses softly down your body and over your blood-stained shirt. 
 Steve crawls towards you both on his hands and knees, falling onto his tummy with his hand grabbing your cheek to turn your head so he could kiss you. Letting you go, your hands remain where they are as Eddie pulls down your panties and tosses them to the side. 
His strong palms dig into your thighs as he lifts your legs over his shoulders and you moan against the other man’s lips as Eddie presses his face into your cunt wasting no time as his mouth devours you. 
Your legs close around him and he mewls into you as your back arches off the floor. 
“Fuck, Daddy! Your mouth feels so good.”
Maneuvering behind him, Steve spreads his partners legs a bit wider and his groans vibrate through your core as the pretty boy runs his tongue between Eddie’s cheeks. You grin blissfully as you watch the sight before you and you run your fingers through the metalhead’s hair. 
“That’s it, honey. Fuck. Make our girl cum. Jesus, Y/N, I can feel how good he’s making you feel. Daddy’s so fucking amazing with that mouth isn’t he? It’s why he never shuts up.”
Eddie’s growls turn into moans when his boyfriend effortlessly slides two fingers inside him while pushing his head harder against your pussy.
“Oh, god!”
Your eyes roll back as you grind your hips against the vampire’s tongue till you tumble over the edge and cum. Releasing him from your grip around his shoulders, you pant as you try to catch your breath, shuddering at the feel of Eddie’s heavy exhales fanning your dripping core. 
You’re not sure if it was the dominance within him or just how sexy both men looked right now but something inside you bubbled forward and you rushed towards them, tackling Steve to the floor. 
“Hungry!”
Abruptly an arm wrapped around your stomach and pushed you back against the hardwood. 
“No.”, the long-haired vampire hissed as his hand clung to your throat. “You ask, little girl. The rules haven’t changed. Not yet anyway.”
“Want…boy!”
“Beg me, Y/N.”, he cooed in a sultry voice that had both you and the other man whining. “Beg Daddy, baby girl.”
“Please, Daddy. Want…” You pause as you blink, trying to clear the fog and intense need from your brain so you could focus. “I want Steve. Please, may I…have him.”
As the black irises disappear and your natural eye color returns so does his as he smiles before giving you a tender kiss. After moving out of the way, he ushers Steve between your legs and helps lift your shirt over your head. 
“I’m sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t mean to grab you like that. I just couldn’t—”
“Control yourself. I know, honey. I understand. You’re doing a lot better than I did though.” He taps his cock against your sensitive clit a couple of times making you jump and you both let out a strangled moan as he slides himself inside of you. “Shit. Always so fucking good.”
Falling on to your chest, he rolls his waist as you cling to his shoulders, leaving little pecks along his skin. When you bite into his flesh, he grunts loudly and snaps his hips hard, punching his length deep inside your heat. 
As he picks up his pace, you release him and he pushes up onto his knees, looping his arms under the back of your own so he can hold your legs open. Feeling someone near him, he opens his eyes to be met with his boyfriend’s cock in his face. Steve opened his mouth willingly and Eddie’s mouth fell open as he bobbed his head, taking him as far back as he could. 
“That’s it, sweetheart. Such a good boy. Jesus, I love watching you two together.”
Threading his fingers through his hair, the metalhead groaned as he fucked his partner’s face making you whine and clench around his own cock every time you heard him gag.
“Mmm—there you go, Steve. Make our pretty girl cum.”
Shoving Eddie’s stomach, Steve growled with need as he pushed him out of his way and wrapped his arms around your back, lifting you up till you were face to face with him. Hugging him to your chest, you used his neck as leverage as you bounced and grinded against him.
When his fangs pierced your skin, your eyes squeezed shut as you did the same, taking him in as his hands grabbed the meat of your ass, guiding your movements till you trembled and came. Steve grunted at the feeling, pushing you back down onto the floor and pounding his cock into you so deeply you swear you could feel him in your stomach, through your heart, and into your soul. 
“Fuck!”, he growled in his deep vampire tone as his movements stalled and you whined as he pumped his spend aggressively into your cunt.
You couldn’t help but breathily giggle as Steve continued to run his lips and tongue along your body. Pushing his chest, you disappeared from underneath him but Eddie anticipated your move, running ahead of you and slamming his palm against the wall as his arm shot out to stop you. Before you could run the other way, he blocked you and pinned your front side to the hallway.
His hand playfully spanked your behind and you both mewled as he guided his cock into your entrance. 
“Oh, fuck, Daddy.”
Intertwining his fingers with yours, Eddie held your hands above your head and thrust his hips roughly against yours, his humid pants in your ear turning you on even more. 
“Shit…baby. Your little pussy is…so fucking perfect. J-Just like you.”
Hastily, he pulls out, turns you around to face him, and lifts you into his strong arms as you reach down to slide his length back inside you. You cling to him as he fucks his cock deep into your core leaving you both grunting into the other face. Not being able to wait, you bite into his neck and he growls loudly before doing the same. 
After dropping one of your legs, Eddie balances his forearm on the wall next to your head as aggressively takes what’s his. Your body shakes as the coil breaks in your tummy causing the metalhead himself to fall over the ledge as he thrust his release inside you. 
As you slump over in his embrace, you feel wind move your hair as Steve runs to the bathroom to turn on the shower and Eddie lifts you again so your legs are wrapped around him as he carries you that way. You can feel it in their energies, they are just as exhausted as you, leaning against you, each other, or the wall to keep from falling over. 
You barely even feel it when they dry you and carry you over to the bed. 
#############
“What’s wrong, honey?”
“I don’t know. I think…I think something’s wrong with Mina.” Eddie sighs when Steve turns away from him and focuses on the computer in front of him. “She feels…alone. I don’t like it, Steven. It reminds me of how I felt growing up with my dad.”
“There’s nothing we can do, Ed.”
“We can—”
“No. We’re not having this discussion again.”
“Why?! Why would it be so bad to bring her here? It feels like she’d be safer with us than wherever she is now!”
“Eddie, have you taken a look around? We’re on the run, you’re a vampire, we do this internet stuff for money. It’s not exactly lavish!”
Both men glare at each other as their computer pings informing them that you were online. 
“Hey, Mina. O-Oh my god. What happened?”, Steve gasps as he and his partner take in the slowly forming ring around your eye. 
“Oh, it’s nothing. I’m so clumsy and fell. Thankfully John was here to help me.”
“Yeah…thankfully…”, Eddie growled towards Steve as his heart broke for you. 
“I’m…I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”
“Why?”, you giggle as you shrug. “You didn’t do this to me, Renfield. I did it to myself.”
***
Your glassy eyes take him in as your boyfriend huffs around the bedroom before kneeling in front of you to place an ice pack on your cheek. All you wanted him to do was leave so you could talk to Renfield and Dracula. 
You had no idea how you were going to explain this new wound to them. It was so weird having people in your life who genuinely cared about your wellbeing and you found yourself lying to them more than you ever did to keep any of your toxic partners or family calm. 
They were your friends…you didn’t want them to worry…
“This is your fault. Why do you push me like that, Y/N?”
“I just asked you when you were getting off work…”
You jump as he tosses the pack hard against the wall. 
“See? It’s that fucking attitude!”
“I’m sorry.”, you whisper, fully giving up and accepting blame so all this would end. 
Sighing, he runs his fingers along your arm as his own eyes scan you over. 
“Will you be alright?” 
He takes your nod as enough confirmation, rising to his feet and finally leaving your house. Gradually, you stand as well and head to the bathroom to wash your face.
Sitting in front of your computer, you stare at the screen as you debate on rescheduling with them but you are so desperate for a kind voice to say something…anything…to comfort you from the current hell you’re in. 
***
Your eyes slowly opened just as the sun was beginning to descend behind your black out curtains, smiling softly when they land on Steve’s gentle yet sad expression. 
“It’s ok.”, you murmur as you reach out to caress his cheek. 
Catching your hand mid-air, he brings it to his lips as he scoots closer to your frame. 
“It’s not. You could have been with us this whole time.”
“Steve, you didn’t know—”
“But I should have. Eddie saved me from my father and took me in when everything was falling apart in my house. He always told me he understood and I was always grateful for that. I should have known the first time he felt something.”
“But you’re here now.”, Eddie replied groggy from sleep as you rolled onto your back so you could see them both. “Y/N, if ever you don’t want to play rough or anything like that, you know we’d still love you. I don’t want to trigger you or—”
“No, baby, no. You’re not.”, you assure him. “With my mom and my exes… I never had any kind of control over what was happening. With you two, even last night, I know you’d stop if I asked. I can feel it.”
Eddie sighs pleasantly when you place your palm on his chest. 
“Speaking of last night, you were really sexy, Miss Computer Hacker, hiding those skills under that beautiful head of hair.” You laugh as he leans in to tenderly kiss your neck.
“You’re both safe with me to. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”
Steve tilts down to slowly kiss your skin as well making you groan as you turn into Eddie’s chest making him chuckle as he presses you to him. The other vampire’s hairy chest grazes your back and you grin as you listen to them kiss above you. 
“What do you want to tonight, honey?”, Steve whispered as his fingers ran up your arms. 
“We seem to be drifting into unknown places and unknown ways.”, you recited making the metalhead laugh again. 
“So did you just memorize the book or?”
“It’s one of my favorites.”, you beam up at him as you kiss his lips and crane your neck to do the same with the other man. “We can rewrite the ending though.”
###################
@chelebelletx @mandyjo8719 @nailbatanddungeon @corkadymu 
@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @she-collects-smut @dashingdeb16
@bexreadstoomuch
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scuderiahoney · 2 days
Note
In motion question for purely research purposes-
how easily can bunny be pursuaded into dying her hair to the timberwolves colour (blue I believe) after a good season? And
1) whose gonna encourage her (in my head alex is def one of them)
2) whose gonna begrudgingly help her apply it on while shaking their head
3) on scale of 1-10 is how bad is her meltdown after she realises that its not.. the best colour to have on your head (oscar's definitely trying to be empathetic but he cant stop laughing)
-😴
OKAY i love this!!! but i read it and sort of could imagine it having happened in the years before Oscar joined the team. and then i got carried away so. a lil in motion blurb perhaps? set during freshman year!
“This is a bad idea,” Max says from the doorway, nose wrinkled.
“It’s a little late for that opinion,” Lando snarks, brows furrowed in concentration. “The dye is already on her hair.”
Alex, who’s sitting in the countertop in the bathroom, is grinning. “It’s a great idea!”
His hair is freshly bleached, a bright blonde shock atop his head. Hs’s next in line for dye after you. Lily’s going to scream, for one reason or another, when she shows up and sees it. You don’t have a boyfriend to disappoint, thank god. Lando spreads a bit more product onto your hair. There’s no going back now.
“Does anyone in this house think through their impulsive thoughts?” Max asks, voice full of disapproval. “Yesterday Charles almost bought a puppy in the grocery store parking lot. I had to drag him away.”
All three of you turn to Max with frowns. “You could’ve gotten a puppy and you didn’t?” You ask, jutting your lower lip out. “That was a stupid decision.”
“Says the girl with the dye in her hair,” Max says, rolling his eyes.
Half an hour later, you and Alex have rinsed the bright blue dye from both of your heads, and you’re taking turns with an ancient blow dryer that you’re sure one of the old players’ girlfriends had left behind. Lily’s due to come over any minute, and you’re rollercoastering between regret and excitement about your new hair color. It’s just your ends, not the whole head. It’ll be easy to chop it off if it comes down to it. Alex is grinning. Max is still in the doorway, watching on in horror.
“It’s just hair,” Lando says, elbowing you.
You laugh. “Easy for you to say.”
“Yeah, did you let Lando encourage you?” Max asks. “You remember when he shaved his own head on a livestream, right?”
“I raised money for charity with that!” Lando snaps.
“Yes, but-“ he pauses. “Why did you even dye your hair, anyways?” Max finally asks.
You shrug. “Playoffs are coming up. Timberwolf blue.”
“That is not Timberwolf blue.”
You huff and turn to him in the chair you’re still sitting in, in the bathroom. The motion makes your still healing knee twinge just slightly- all three of them see the look of pain on your face and freeze. You let out a breath, and the pain fades.
“Let me have this,” you ask him, looking up with a sad expression.
Max melts. Lando rolls his eyes at you in the mirror. Less than a year as friends and you already know just how to play to his weaknesses. You know Lando’s too- he just doesn’t know it yet.
Lily ends up loving it, on both of you, and Max warms up to the idea eventually. But when they lose in the first round of the playoffs, you quickly grow sick of the color. It’s quite bright, quite startling, and it seems to remind the whole team of the loss. Max takes you to the hairdresser, pays for your haircut, and begs you to never dye your hair blue again.
“What if you win the championship?” You ask, smiling teasingly at him.
He snorts out a laugh. “Then I will help you dye it myself.”
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mikichko · 2 days
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little bit personal but i’ve gone through lots of weight fluctuations in my life and no matter what size i am, summer is always hard for me.
which is why i cannot stop thinking about being ghost’s partner through summer.
we already know that he’s a man of few words, prefers to observe more than anything. so he really doesn’t miss the meticulous way that you plan out your outfits.
shorts have to be a certain length, shirts have to be at least long enough to hit your hips and sleeves long that are up to mid bicep. hell, he’s even seem you choose to wear pants all summer instead of even attempting shorts. too anxious over how you’ll be perceived to let yourself enjoy a nice warm breeze on your legs.
he asks you once if you’re warm, approaching the conversation the best way he knows how, only to have you laugh and tell him that the pants just hold you better. don’t need to give people a reason to comment on your appearance. he nods and you seem happy that he’s happy with your response.
but he’s not. listen, simon’s not really one to jump to defend someone’s ego from being bruised. god knows the team rags on johnny too often for him to pretend otherwise. but this? nah, this is different.
he’s all too familiar with the way bodies react and absorb the shock and trauma of war. has seen soldiers of all shapes, sizes, identities tank hits like no one’s business. there’s absolutely nothing he despises more than for the untrained, ill informed cretins offering opinions on someone else’s body. specially if it’s ever directed at you.
he’ll never say this though. at least not outloud. though, his actions do speak for themselves.
small pats on your hips as he passes by you. wrapping his arm around your lower belly instead of your waist, you try to swat at him but he just pulls you back into him. insisting that he lays on you when you’re stretched on the couch, dropping kisses on your clothed belly while his hands draw patterns on your plush thighs. if he’s feeling cheeky he’ll sink his teeth into them just to get a little squeal out of you.
even in public he doesn’t ease up. pulls you into his lap in front of your friends, knows you love it despite your protests. lounging out on a patch of grass along the walking trail, he pulls you closer to him and has one of your legs draped over his. massaging the fat there as you chatter about nonsense.
idk simon riley just really loves you and loves the body that keeps you alive and feeds your personality.
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Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six Seven
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TW: NSFW, bondage, uncomfy situations
The next time you see Dr. Julian, (which isn’t at the jail, because you fucking tried to go bail him out and they just looked at you like you were crazy when you kept insisting Dr. Julian Mercer had to be in there) he has a red mark around his neck, a black eye, and a bump on his temple that’s almost the size of a chicken egg. 
“Jesus fucking Christ!” you hiss, rushing over to him. He takes your elbow and ducks the two of you into a supply closet. You think he just wants to have a private conversation, until he backs you into the shelves with a tonsil-inspecting, toe-curling kiss, his big hands digging into your waist. You grab fistfuls of his lab coat, you are so surprised it doesn’t even occur to you to fight him. When he finally pulls back you are breathless—and in shock. 
He seems to find this adorable, reaching up to caress your face. “Now all that was worth it,” he says cheekily.
You blink up at him, stupid as a lamb. “Did he hurt you?” you demand, trying to inspect the mark around his neck. 
“We reached an understanding,” Julian assures you with a dark look, taking your hands in his own. 
“But—“
“Don’t worry about it, y/n. Really.” It comes out like an order, and you don’t really like it when he talks to you that way, but you guess you understand that he doesn’t want to talk about Ludlow anymore.
“Ok.”
You are so going to worry about it. You also know there’s no way in hell that he’s going to want to see you anymore.
He looks down at you with that soft expression that warms your insides. “When’s your next day off?” 
You blink again. “Friday?”
“Can I make you dinner?”
“You want…to cook for me?”
“At my place. Around seven. I’ll text you the address.”
You’re still not sure if that was a request or an order, but you’re so dumbfounded that it doesn’t even occur to you to offer an opinion.
“But what about…?”
“I’m not scared of him, y/n.” The marks on his face indicate that maybe he should be, but the set of this man’s jaw indicates that maybe Ludlow has met his match. 
“I’m really sorry. About all of this.”
“I already told you, it’s not your fault.” There’s a flinty note in his voice, and you can tell he just wants you to drop it. Inwardly you flinch a little, but you nod. 
***
You suppose because he’s banned from being treated by you at the hospital, pulling you over in the dead of night after your shift becomes his go-to game. Maybe you should have started taking a different route home, but the highway was the fastest (and usually safest) way to go, and the thought of changing your personal day-to-day just for this asshole makes you see red. You refuse, and so you keep getting pulled over, four more times for weaker and weaker excuses. Not signaling when changing lanes. Using your phone (you weren’t). An obstruction to vision hanging from your rearview. And the cherry on top—too dim fucking blinkers? 
He even has the gall to check up on you, going so far as to inspect your wrists one evening, and turning your head from side to side with an authoritative finger hooked under your chin. “What do you think you’re doing?” you demand. 
“Just making sure Dr. Bitch is behaving himself.”
“That is none of your business.” 
“If he hurts you I’ll make it my business.” He just says it so casually. Water is wet, the sun is hot, and Tom Ludlow will fuck up Dr. Mercer’s day if he hurts you, even with consensual rough play. No one has ever stuck their neck out for you like that, and it is not helpful, what this misplaced concern does to your insides. This guy is 300% Pure Asshole. You should not be warming to him. 
Truth be told, you are nervous about your date with Julian tomorrow night. Maybe he’s being sweet and cooking for you—but it will also be on his home turf, like meeting a wolf in his den. You don’t really think Julian would hurt you. In fact, the thought seems absurd. But then again…people never cease to surprise you. You see the result of mankind’s insatiable bloodthirst every day at work. 
Despite your completely misplaced feelings for Officer Tom Ludlow, the fact stands that he is absolutely harassing you, and what he did to Julian outside the coffee shop was totally unacceptable. Maybe you don’t have any money to sue the LAPD like Julian does, but you’re not totally without a voice. The next morning you find yourself going downtown to the Police Headquarters to file a complaint. 
The place is bustling, filled with uniforms and plainclothes and people from every walk of life. It reminds you of the hospital in a way, and a wisp of a thought occurs to you that it’s interesting that you and Officer Ludlow engage in the two professions that truly hold together the fabric of society. Politicians like to think what they do is important, but the two of you do the real dirty work to help people survive through their day to day. There could have been something to that between you—if he wasn’t such a fucking creeper in his off hours. 
You follow the signs and the directions from various people behind desks to the Complaints Department. It’s a cordoned off area enclosed by glass. With your hand on the door handle you see who is sitting there behind a cheap mdf wood desk, looking unfairly handsome in his black beat uniform.
You freeze. 
How the fuck is he everywhere at once? It dawns on you that if he’s working his shift here during the day—he’s fucking with you on his own time at night. It simultaneously creeps you out and thrills you to your toes, and you know you are one sick puppy. 
You know you don’t have the guts to march in there and face him, so you decide to bounce. Of course, not before he turns his head at just the right moment. It’s like this man has a radar for your very presence, and your eyes meet through the glass. 
He knows exactly why you’re here, of course, and he smirks at you as though to say, ‘Tell me all about it.’ 
Bastard. 
You turn on your heel, and pray he doesn’t follow you. 
***
Later that night, you find yourself seated at the island with a glass of white wine in Dr. Mercer’s Spanish Revival style home in Santa Monica, watching him cook for you. He’s utterly edible, in a pressed light blue button down and khakis that should look dorky but somehow he just makes them look GQ worthy. He’s even worn a tie for you. He’s also wearing an apron, and it’s not so corny as to say Kiss The Cook but you did anyway first thing upon walking through the door. You’d asked if you could help with the meal, and he’d declined with a gracious smile. 
Now, you’re pretty sure he parked you here so you could get a view of his tight little rear end as he works at the stove. 
You take another big sip of wine. It’s really not fair in the least. 
He serves up chicken piccata with fresh vegetables out on the patio, complete with candlelight. The warm night breeze is like the breath of angels, and it’s possibly the most romantic dinner anyone has ever treated you to, and it makes you almost uncomfortable inside, how nice all this is. You know he’d said that he liked you, and he didn’t want a perfect girlfriend…but you can’t help but feel like an imposter here. 
There were no candlelit dinners with homemade Italian food and fine wine back in Kansas. There were bonfires in someone’s daddy’s back farm field, copious amounts of beer, and you were lucky if you didn’t get knocked up on the bench seat of someone’s rusty old pickup truck before the night was out. Yee fuckin’ haw.
“You alright?” he asks, reaching across the table to touch your hand. 
You realize that you have zoned out, while he was talking, again. 
“Fine,” you answer quickly, bolstering yourself with another sip of wine. You’re on your second glass now—you should probably slow down, but it’s so good. “I was just thinking…about how nice, all this is. Thank you, Julian. You’re so sweet.” 
He smiles at you from across the table, a winsome and heart-squeezing curl of lips, and he’s so handsome even with the now healing black eye. 
“I’m maybe sensing some anxiety stemming from Imposter Syndrome,” he says gently. 
“Is that your official diagnosis, Doctor?”
You can tell he likes it when you talk this way to him, even outside of the hospital. You can see it in the sparkle of his lovely mocha-brown eyes.  “Something like that.” He leans in towards you, his elbows on the little bistro-style table, pinning you with that acute stare. “I don’t know what happened to you, where you came from, y/n. Maybe you’ll trust me enough to tell me later. But I do know that it’s in the past, and it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve something nice for yourself now. Does that make sense?”
It hits way too close to home, and with a sigh you lean back in your chair, unable to meet his eyes again. 
“It sounds so easy, when you put it that way.”
He tilts his head as he examines you, and you’re afraid that attentive stare misses nothing. “I could make it easy, for you,” he offers quietly. Something about that soft but oh-so-sure tone lifts every little fine hair on your body, a wave of gooseflesh erupting across your skin. You feel like a rabbit flicking its ears at the sound of danger, not quite sure which direction it’s coming from. 
“What do you mean?” you dare ask. 
“It’s part of the appeal of submission for some people, to hand over complete control to someone you trust, to let them make you feel good. It can be an almost…therapeutic release. I think I could do that for you.” 
Your heart chooses that moment to lodge itself in your throat, and it takes an embarrassingly long few seconds for you to find your voice again. As usual when you feel wildly uncomfortable, you opt for humor.  “Wow, do you subscribe this to your patients often?”
He chuckles, and it is dark and rich as bitter chocolate. “No, though maybe I should.”
You can’t help but notice you haven’t even made it through the main course, before he is bringing this up again. It must be something he really wants from you—and a part of you still finds that so hard to believe. He’d said your defiance on that patient’s discharge triggered this need in him. You wonder if there are other things about you, that has made him zero you out. It’s happened to you before. Narcissists just seem to sniff you out like they’re fucking bloodhounds. 
Is Julian like that, underneath all the good looks, the pleasantness, the charm?
Does he think you’d be easy to control? Or does he want a challenge because your dumb ass is stubborn as a mule? 
Does he know that if things go badly, you have no one here to offer recourse?
Unless, of course, you count Officer Tom Ludlow, but dear lord that is not the backup plan you want to rely on. 
“Well…I’m still thinking about all that,” you deflect, throwing your attention into coiling pasta around your fork, trying not to appear like a complete philistine.   
He has the grace not to appear disappointed, though there is a certain sharpness in his look now, and you have a feeling Dr. Mercer is not used to not getting his way, eventually. 
***
Julian does let you help with the dishes, and pours you yet another glass of wine. “Digestivo,” he says with a perfect accent and a little smile to himself. He explains it’s the word for the “after dinner drink” in Italy. Apparently it’s usually a liquor, but it seems he doesn’t want you that drunk. 
At least, not yet.
He asks if you want to watch a movie or listen to some music? You agree, ask him to pick something out, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. When you return he is stretched out on the couch, looking utterly handsome, and you find yourself just staring while his head is turned towards the massive TV.
“I know you’re there,” he finally says with a little smile, turning to look at you knowingly. Cautiously you approach, glad for some reason that the tall back of the leather couch is between you. Perhaps the soft little woodland creature that will forever live inside you senses the wolf nearby, even if it’s wearing Brooks Brothers. 
“Sorry,” you say apologetically, soft-pawing further into the room. You dare to lean on the back of the couch to look down at him, not quite ready to join him on his level. He seems to understand all too well, and is completely amused by it.
“That’s ok. I can’t keep my eyes off you either. You’re so beautiful.”
You let out a long breath through your nose, never comfortable with what to say to it. You’d been assured by so many people in your early life, that you were in fact an ugly little toad worth less than nothing. Later, those that told you that you were pretty, hurt you in different ways. You wish you could just…take it at face value, and say thanks, without overanalyzing it six hundred ways from Sunday.
“You don’t think so?” He asks, looking up at you with curious eyes. Since you walked through his door tonight, you’ve felt like he’s been studying you, and you sincerely hope it’s not to find your weaknesses and exploit them but rather understand them. 
It would be so nice to be understood by a man like Julian, even if he is chaining you to a wall and whipping you while doing it. The thought makes you giggle, and this seems to perplex and amuse him. 
“Well?” He asks, reaching up to boldly smooth your cheekbone. “You don’t think you’re beautiful?” 
You try to blame your honesty on the wine when you answer truthfully: “not really.” 
Most men don’t want to hear about insecurities and flaws; they want self actualized, confident women who carry themselves in a way you’ll never be able to. It's hard to have self esteem, especially when you’ve spent the majority of your life getting told you shouldn’t have any. 
“Hmm.” His thumb rests lightly on your chin, and he parts your mouth a little like he means to kiss you, although he makes no actual move to do so. “That’s another thing I could help you with.”
You're a little lost in the white capped crash of your thoughts, of the pleasant heat in his long, skilled fingers, of the endless dark in his blown black eyes. It takes you a full thirty seconds to think about the conversation, and even then you have to stupidly ask: “what?” 
“Feeling beautiful, because you are.” Maybe you don’t mind the bossy, matter of fact tone as much when it’s demanding that you’re worthy and pretty. 
“Are you going to kiss me again?” You ask, because you can’t stop thinking about how good his mouth feels on your face. 
“Ask me nicely.” That big thumb runs a torturous line over your parted bottom lip.
“You ask me,” you challenge, giggling at your own insolence. 
Oh, he loves that, when you push back. The wicked, lazy grin says it all. “How about I make you?”
You press your tummy against the soft, worn leather of his couch to lift yourself up and over, cupping his cheeks and pecking a little kiss to his silky lips. “I’d like to see you try.”
Apparently this is the absolute wrong thing—or absolute right thing—to say to this man, to make him spring up and over the couch, lithe as a panther in his pursuit of you, a feral grin in place. You are not proud, but your first instinct is to bolt, a little scream escaping your lips.
Which is stupid, of course, because he has the body of a runner and legs that are a mile long. You have no idea where you are going, down a convenient hallway. You make it three steps before this man has you grabbed up in his long arms, and he is kissing you as though he means to inhale you. He presses you into the wall, his solid weight so delicious against you, and you know there is no escape unless he decides to let you go.
Somehow, you don’t forsee that happening any time soon. 
You surge up on tiptoe to meet him with a moan, your hands sliding over the trim muscles of his chest. He easily grasps both your wrists in his one, obscenely big paw, pinning them above your head.
He pulls back to assess what you think about this, his dark eyes blown wide with desire. You can barely breathe past your heart thundering in your chest, your thighs pressed tightly in a sad attempt to relieve some of the ache between them. You lips are kiss-swollen and moist with his saliva, and you lick them, tasting him. His gaze fixes on your mouth hungrily, before lifting to your eyes again.
When you give the barest nod, he leans in to kiss you again, slower this time, but no less claiming. His lips are soft, and clever, and wreak havoc with your ability to think coherently. And when he slips his lean thigh between your legs so that you might get some relief, you think you might just expire from the pent up desire threatening to burst you at your seams.
It’s not good, you know, when you can’t help but think about Detective Tom Ludlow, and how part of this aching madness in your loins is built up from his brash brand of torture, and you can’t help but imagine what it might be like to feel his rough hands pinning you to the wall like a butterfly. Maybe it’s just the wine, but these distracted thoughts are not good at all.
Julian half carries you, half guides you in a halting walk further down the hallway, opening a door and ushering you inside. It’s a bedroom, though if its his room, you can’t really tell at a glance. It’s nicely decorated, fairly normal, no chains hanging from the ceilings or racks on the walls, and the bed is soft as he presses you back into it with another bone-melting kiss.
He props himself on his elbows so he can look down at you with a mischievous warm smile that lights up your insides. “You really are beautiful,” he tells you gently, tracing your hairline at your temple.
God. If he keeps telling you like this, maybe you will start believing him. 
You tug on his tie to bring him back to you, craving another of his sweet kisses. He narrows his eyes at you playfully, and you watch with fascination as he reaches up to loosen the silk noose around his neck. 
“Wait.” You halt him, hand on his chest, and he stops the little show. 
“What? You okay?” It doesn’t occur to you that this man is just as needy as you are until you hear the heavy pant in his voice, the gravelly scratch of desire polluting his usual smooth pitch that reminds you way too much of someone else that you’re trying not to think about—and failing miserably at. 
“I don’t know if I’m ready for all of that,” you say honestly, opening up raw in exchange for the concern on his pretty, angled face. 
“Being tied up?” He asks, smoothing your hair off your temple. 
“No, I’ve been tied up before.” Although that’s a story for a different day, it’s not like you’re the Virgin Mary, and you don’t want to be—you don’t want him to think that you are—a prude. 
“Was it…a bad experience for you?” As he asks this he strokes your hair, petting you like soothing an animal with his light touch.
You hate to say, it’s working.
“Kind of.”
“Maybe…they didn’t stop something you didn’t like when you asked them to?”
That was the understatement of the century.
You close your eyes against the sinking feeling that overcomes you, when you even slightly crack the lockbox that is your stockpile of unpleasant memories from your youth.
“No,” you answer simply, but you know he can hear it all in the roughness of your voice in that one small word.
“What if we have a safeword? If I do anything you don’t like, you say the word, and I promise you I will stop.”
You freeze like a rabbit that's been spotted by a predator, as you mull this over. You know that’s how these things are supposed to go. But once a man has you tied up and at his mercy…he can do anything he wants with you. And men can be so awful, when they feel like they have all the power in their hands.
Is this man awful? It certainly doesn’t seem so. But dear god, you have been so wrong before.
“Maybe….” You roll your eyes up to the ceiling, searching for the right words, determined, for once, not to hide your own needs in favor of someone else’s. “Maybe if you help me understand why this is something you need so much?”
You know it’s possible you’re killing the vibe with such a demand—but maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to slow down and talk.
He blinks down at you, undoubtedly not used to being inquisitioned like this by anyone. “That’s…a big question.”
A surge of annoyance rises in you—as if dating isn’t dangerous enough for women as it is—he’s literally asking you to trust him with your life.
“Oh my god. Ok, get off.” You start to squirm beneath him, pushing at his chest. For a moment you panic, because he is big, and you know he’s not going anywhere, unless he wants to.
To his credit, and your great surprise–he actually does. He seems disappointed, and his breathing is heavy, his beautiful hair disheveled, but he’s not angry. At least, as far as you can tell. He shoves his hands in his pockets, maybe to keep them off of you.
It is hard not to stare at the sizeable bulge in his preppy khakis.
He blows a long breath out of his nostrils, closing his eyes. “I like to be in charge,” he tells you quietly, not opening his eyes, “Because when I was far too young, my stepmother groomed me to be her pretty plaything. I thought I was getting revenge on my father, because I was angry at him for divorcing my mother. But the joke was on me. I did…anything she asked, and she asked a lot. I didn’t even realize how fucked up it was, until I went away to college. When she sensed she was losing her hold on me, she actually tried to get me to drop out, then she tried to get me expelled. She was a fucking piece of work, and that’s why I am the way I am.” 
When at last he works up the courage to look at you, he finds you sitting on the edge of the bed in your pretty dress like a rumpled flower, with tears in your eyes for him. “I’m so sorry, Julian…” You reach for him, even though you’re unsure he even wants to be held.
“And I like to bind my partners’ hands, because sometimes being touched during what should be the most wonderful act a man can enjoy reminds me of her, and I can’t stand it. Even…when I’m with someone who I want to touch me.” He gives you a pointed look then, and you understand, and you don’t think he’s trying to manipulate you. He’s just telling you an ugly truth.
Now, it seems you’re both agitated, and what had promised to be a lovely evening is now spiraling down into the abyss. You can’t help but feel responsible for that.
Julian shakes himself, and shakes his head. You feel him drawing away from you, even before he’s moved his feet. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I promise, I don’t want to hurt you.” 
Then he does start to retreat, but you reach out to him. “Julian, wait…”
He freezes in his tracks, looking up at you through the curtain of his silky hair.
“Pineapple.” 
He lifts an eyebrow, genuinely confused. “Excuse me?”
“That’s my safe word.”
To be honest, you’re not entirely sure if you’re doing this because you want to, or because as usual, you sense someone needs a part of you for their own wellbeing, more than you think you do.
His mouth twists in a smile seemingly involuntarily. “I suppose that isn’t something one usually hears in the throes of passion.”
“Isn’t that the point?”
“Yes.” His look sharpens upon you then, and you feel a fresh gush of moisture between your legs, your bare toes curling. Suddenly, he seems taller, somehow, as though he’s taking up more space in the room than before. “Are you sure about this, y/n?”
Not really, but this won’t be the first time you jump in head first to something you don’t know if you can handle. “Yeah. I believe you, when you say you won’t hurt me.”
Maybe you’re not sure exactly where the whole punishment thing fits in he was talking about earlier, but you assume you’ll get to that later.
He nods, his nostrils flaring as he looks you over again. You watch as his chest rises and falls with deep breaths. And then he returns to loosening that shining blue silk tie from his neck, sliding the fine fabric between his long fingers. “I picked this color tonight because I thought it would look so pretty on you,” he admits. 
“How…thoughtful?” You can’t help but tease him, even if your heart is suddenly hammering in your chest.
“Hmm. Someone always has something smart to say.” He strides across the room to you, boldly standing between your legs at the edge of the bed. 
“I think you like it?” You can’t help the squeak in your voice, and it makes him smirk down at you. It’s unnervingly similar to someone else who likes to throw around an insouciant half smile, and your fingers curl in the bedspread by your thighs.
Do not think about Tom right now.
It’s too late, of course.
“Give me your hands.” There is that authoritative tone again, that makes everyone at the hospital and out in the real world stand at attention. Everyone, but Tom Ludlow, of course. Unbidden, the image of Tom’s fist making that irreverent gesture out the window enters your head—and like the idiot you are, you smile.
It causes Julian to look at you strangely, searching you out. “What’s so funny?”
You sigh, closing your eyes against that probing stare. “I don’t know,” you deflect, master of the witty riposte as always. Hoping to distract him, you offer up your wrists. “Like this?” you ask, and golly if your ploy doesn’t work.
“That’s my good girl.” A damning warmth spreads through you from his praise, and you watch with fascination as he loops your wrists with the blue silk, tying it off with a beautiful bow that does look pretty against your skin. “We’ll start with this,” he tells you. “If you really want, you can undo it with your teeth.”
Biting your lip, you nod up at him, appreciating the gesture. 
“Tell me the safeword?” He asks, lifting your hands up above your head, looking absolutely feral, ready to eat you alive. 
“Pineapple,” you tell him, flexing your hands above your head and pushing your tits out for him. God, it’s been forever since you’ve had anything inside you besides your own boring fingers, and you’re more than ready for him to take the straining bulge out of his pants and slip it into your perpetually aching cunt. 
“Keep your hands above your head for me?” You can tell by his tone that it’s more of a demand than an ask, but at least he's trying to be sweet despite wrestling internally with some beast that wants to bind you immobile and shove a gag in your mouth. 
Every hair stands on end at just the thrill of having his silky, non committed tie around your wrists, so you wonder how you’d fair in something stricter. Apparently, your vagina likes the theory of it, because she pulses insistently for some kind of attention—Jesus, any kind of attention that’s not just from you.
You and her may argue sometimes—much more now that Ludlow has kicked the imaginary door of your life down and stormed in for a raid—but you still share the same brain, and both of you agree that Julian is very fucking hot while he takes off his upper attire to reveal toned, tight, thin muscle and perfect golden skin. 
“Is there, um, anything you want me to call you?” You ask, little toes curling and flexing on his comforter. 
“You want to properly address me?” His teeth peek out of the wayward grin, hands slipping the belt out of his pants and filling you with Tom thoughts again. 
“Yeah, I do.”
“How about Doctor? Something familiar?”
“Something tells me you’ve thought of this scenario before,” you muse, toying with the wrought iron post of his bed. You have to admit, Doctor isn’t your favorite term of endearment, but you suppose that if it makes him fuck you sooner it doesn’t really matter. 
Sans pants, his cock tents and fills his briefs, and that tiny creature living inside you comes out of her burrow to remind you that she’s very, very hungry. He really is a gorgeous specimen of a man. You could probably find his mimic in a museum statue or erotic magazine with only one huge, girthy difference. 
How the fuck is that monster not going to hurt you after years of only having your own little fingers for comparison? 
“Jesus,” you breathe, unaware that you say it out loud at first. 
He pumps his hand once or twice over the silk coated shaft, showing off that big, beautiful cock and rubbing a bead of pearly cum over the tip. “Hands above your head, y/n, and don’t make me say it a third time.” 
You bite your lip hard to keep from groaning in protest and place those conniving, sneaky limbs up above you again. “Yes, Doctor.” It would sound strange to you if you had any common sense right now—if your brain wasn’t currently leaking out of your cunt. 
A little piece of you—actually and worryingly it’s more than just a little piece—wants to challenge him to see exactly what he’ll do. 
“Do you want me to tell you what I wanted to do to you when you disobeyed my orders?” 
“Spank me?” You ask, words too bold for how you’re feeling—how your whole body is overflowing with burning, bashful blood and sinking into the cushion of his bed to hide. 
He laughs, low and wicked, and shakes his head. At least you get a little needy grumble from him, although you’re not sure if that’s because he’s stroking his cock or not. “No, not spank you. I think you’d enjoy that too much.”
“Then what?” You raise your chin a little bit, and the look he pins you with reminds you of what wild horses must see in the person’s eyes that wants to ride and break and domesticate them. A little panic alarm lights up your brain, and it gets louder the more he talks. 
“Instead of rubbing these tired, sore feet, I would have gotten a thin piece of finished wood and whipped them with it.” 
Your toes instantly curl and tuck in defense, heels digging into the bed to shy away from his mean words. “I don’t know if I’d like that,” you admit.
“That’s the point of a punishment, little girl. You’re not supposed to like it.” Julian transforms into something scary for the first time, and you think this might be that dominant side of him coming to bat again. You don’t really like it when he’s all business no play, void of jokes and grins, snarling like a rabid jaguar. 
“Julian, I don’t think I’m comfortable with that. It scares me.” 
His ferocity goes limp right along with his dick, and the sight of that makes you want to scream and cry and pound your fists on the floor like a tantrum throwing child. Your vagina, who was just minutes ago getting along with you, once again wants you dead. 
Dr. Jekyll sits beside you on the bed and puts a soothing, heating pad hand on your belly. “I’m sorry, are you alright? I shouldn’t have gone into that so fast. I got carried away. It’s been a while.” 
Although his apology is warranted, and what he says is true about going too far, that caretaker in your blood wants nothing more than to soothe him while he has a mini existential crisis about making you feel uncomfortable. You sit up and rub his shoulders with bound hands. 
“Julian, it’s okay. I get it. I’m sorry.” 
“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for,” he replies, combing a hand through his soft hair. “We should have discussed details before jumping in. I just”—he cups your cheek and kisses your head—“I’ve wanted you for a long time.” 
The thought of having to go through a detailed discussion before having sex with your partner every time has the opposite effect of Tom Ludlow’s—fuck, here he is again—spontaneity and makes your pussy dry up. 
As though he senses you’re about to take your teeth to his very nice silk tie, he turns to unbind your hands with one deft pull. You feel fine, but you can’t stop yourself from rubbing your wrists. You sit there in the quiet together for what feels like a long time, your head resting lightly on his shoulder.
“Y/n?”
“Yeah?” He takes your hand, kissing your palm. “That thing I told you? It’s not something I offer up freely to anyone. Not even my playmates.”
You nod against him. “I understand.”
“I just…wanted you to know me.”
The human need to lay yourself bare in the hopes of acceptance is something you understand all too well—and something you never do anymore, because it just always ends badly. That he wanted you that much squeezes your heart in a merciless fist, because the healer in you wants to help him, but you’re not sure you can give this man what he really needs.
“Did you…want me before I talked back to you?” Suddenly the question is burning in your brain and you have to know.
Julian smirks at that. “You’ve always talked back to me, y/n.” With that he kisses your forehead, and starts to get dressed again. 
What a goddamned shame.
It’s totally not helpful, but you can’t stop yourself from thinking that if Tom had you in this position tonight, you wouldn’t be able to walk right, and not because you’d said the wrong thing and got yourself punished with a sliver of wood or whatever the fuck Julian kept in his closet.
You wouldn’t be going home feeling even emptier than when you arrived.
Maybe, you wouldn’t be going home at all.
Julian asks you to stay with him a while longer to cuddle on the couch and watch a movie—some cheap new thriller that makes you both jump and gasp. It’s sort of funny, to watch the man that was just spouting off his desire to use ancient torture methods on you get scared at a guy with a shiny knife popping out of bushes. 
At one point, while you’re laying on his bare chest and inhaling the citrusy sweat of his skin and becoming increasingly warm to the idea of giving his discarded silky tie another try, you start tracing your fingers down the hard line of his stomach, flicking over the elastic of his thin sweatpants. 
He stalls your movement, and looks down at you apologetically. “Not tonight, honey.” 
You know he was just fiending for your bound form with his dick in his hand, so you’re not sure why he’s stopping you, but your woe-is-me brain immediately, and as usual, jumps to the conclusion that he never wanted you in the first place. 
You will not be the giving tree anymore. You will not be the obsessed, lovesick girl willing to do anything just to get that same love back. You won’t—you can’t—do it again. 
“It’s late,” you sigh, sitting up. You’ve long sobered from dinner, and you’re tired, and you kind of want to be alone so you can go home and cry. “Thank you for dinner.” You’re not so sure about the rest, and in the rueful curl of Julian’s lips you can tell he’s well aware how disappointing all this was. For both of you, you suppose. He kisses you goodnight at the door, and you get in your car to drive home.
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freezingmcxn · 1 day
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I’ve seen people getting mad at people saying the creepypasta community “doesn’t take horror seriously”
I want to add my unwanted opinion as someone who writes creepypastas for the horror aspect.
Before I rant I just wanna say I like both sides, I do prefer realism and for that I don’t interact with fanon stuff that often, but I don’t hate it, I think it can be fun.
Both sides of the fandom are just as disrespectful to eachother, there’s a constant tug of war between what side is better rather than a happy medium.
Most fanon enjoyers shit on realism enjoyers and most realism enjoyers shit on fanon enjoyers, this has been happening for years, I don’t know why people are saying it was better “back in the day” cause it wasn’t really.
Lot of creators were pissed that their characters were getting made into something they’re not and some creators were making the fandom mad due to the fact they either had a misunderstanding of an illness or were a child who simply just wanted to share their work.
The reason realism enjoyers get so mad at fanon enjoyers is because fanon, a lot of the time, tears characters down and demonises mental health, yeah you can disagree but where do the harmful fandom jokes come from?
Some. I say SOME..fanon enjoyers are so hypocritical.
I may get hate for saying this, some like to preach that it’s okay to have your own personal opinions and have fun.
But when someone’s fun is realism, that’s not okay, it’s fucked up?…
Some realism enjoyers I can say the same about, if you can have your fun why cant the fanon enjoyers have fun?
Ultimately, the fandoms a dumpster fire and it’s full of hypocrites that can’t just be civil with the fact creepypasta is such a versatile fandom, it can be grim and twisted but people can make it fun and silly.
Anyone can write no matter your interests, likes or dislikes.
The fandom (all sides) needs to grow a pair and accept it will always be different, nobody will have the same opinions or views on characters.
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communistkenobi · 1 day
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in that post abt the gender unicorn graphic, in the comments the idea of the “split attraction model” is brought up and you say you dont want to litigate that. however, im really curious what your opinion is bc i have some ideas abt it too. i feel like its sort of an incomplete analysis? like, people feel different ways about others and that cant really be flattened into like two modes of attraction. but i personally would call myself aromantic and bisexual so obviously i have some level of investment of the idea. anyways i just ask because in general i find your analysis and opinions compelling
thank you! re: this graphic
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My issue with splitting “physical attraction” and “emotional attraction” is that it does the same naturalising trick that the chromosomes-as-the-symbol-of-sex does - by splitting the emotional from the physical, this implies that physical attraction is natural, without emotion, and by the same token that emotion can exist completely detached from the physical body of the person you emotionally desire. Like I just don’t think this is true! For example, the idea of “casual sex,” ie sex that is devoid of emotion/emotional investment, is a social construction, it is a sexual act that is being contrasted against societal norms of “serious sex” or “invested sex” or whatever you want to call it - sex that is being done in the context of a monogamous, married relationship, or an otherwise exclusive long-term one. the base social unit of much of western society is the nuclear family, and the nuclear family is “ideally” produced by monogamous, cis-heterosexual, racially homogeneous reproductive sex. That is the norm by which all other sexual behaviour and activity is judged by.
and to be clear I’m not using “emotional” in an idealistic or moral sense, I am not using it as a shorthand for romantic feelings, I am purposefully using the language the graphic is using - I mean any emotion. Like just to be super clear, I’m not suggesting that people who have casual sex all secretly love the people they fuck, or that sex has to always be a serious emotional endeavour, or that people who do not feel sexual attraction to the people they have romantic feelings for are secretly lying, but that I don’t think sex is something that can be devoid of emotionality entirely. Like I think we are engaging in this Cartesian body/mind dualism where the physical acts we perform are somehow wholly separate from our emotional states. Pleasure has an emotional component to it, I don’t know how to articulate my experiences with pleasure that do not involve some level of emotionality, and emotionality has a physical character to it. Like in fact I think this graphic is treating emotions as ideal states - it reminds me of like old misogynistic psychological theory that described rationality as an absence of emotion, that to engage in rationality is to move away from emotion. It treats rationality as “out there,” objective, natural, detached from social influence, and emotion as “in here,” in our hearts, ruled by the social. And this distinction is made on the idea that the social world is detached from the physical world, which is pure idealism.
this is not a dismissal or denial of anyone who feels a disconnect between their sexual and romantic desires, such as asexual or aromantic people - while I am neither of those things, I have experienced intense physical desire for the person I’m fucking while actively dissociating during sex as a result of dysphoria/heteronormativity/etc etc. by the same token I have also felt emotionally compelled to be physically attracted to someone without actually feeling physical desire. These are both emotional states that were in conflict with my physical desires, or rather my physical desires as I understood them at the time. our ability to interpret and understand our desires is itself social! otherwise heteronormativity wouldn’t be a thing. We don’t have unmediated, unemotional access to physical desire, which I think this graphic is arguing, intentionally or not.
so having complicated, contradictory, disconnected, or otherwise ‘non-normative’ relationships to our emotional states vis a vis physical desire is obviously very real, and the reason they are real is because physical desire is also socially mediated and constructed. What and who we find attractive, why types of bodies, physical and character traits, etc are attractive to us are all part of (joker voice) society.
now, idk how you easily communicate this in graphic format. perhaps these things are unsuited to the medium of easily digestible graphics, or perhaps I’m limited in my imagination. either way I don’t think bifurcating emotional-desire-as-social and physical-desire-as-natural is particularly helpful
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yok00k · 2 days
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seasons: pink
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pairing: p.sunghoon x acubi!oc
genre: fluff, drabble
summary: shopping w/ sunghoon
warning: too sweet!
word count: 919
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
“Earth to sunghoon??” you say, waving your hand in front of your boyfriend’s face, who’s been zooming out for a while. he’s all dressed up and ready to go since ages ago. meanwhile, you take at least two hours to get ready and have more than five steps of skincare routine plus some makeup. he did everything that he could possibly do to not get bored while waiting for you.
walk back and forth from the living room to your bedroom more than 50 times? check. water the plant sitting on the most random spots of your apartment? check. pet and play with coco, your tiny shih tzu dog? check. yet he’s still ended up sitting up at the edge of your bed, staring at the air.
you further try to get his attention by planting a few kisses on his left cheek, which leaves an easily noticeable lip tint stain on his smooth skin. resulting in your sudden action, he moves from his frozen state.
sunghoon blinks twice, bringing himself out from detaching himself to reality. “you ready?” he asks, clearing his voice while examining your cute all-white outfit, which matches his all-black casual attire. he also notices the makeup you put on today, a simple ‘igari’ style makeup that highlights lots of rose pink blush on your soft cheeks.
cute, totally his type
“yes! thanks for waiting for me” you respond with full energy. of course he’ll wait for you. no matter how long he has to wait for. it’s not like he could just leave you and execute today's plan all by himself. he wouldn’t leave you alone. even if he has an option to. in addition to that, he loves spending a solid quality time with you.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
since warm weather is slowly approaching , the today’s plan is to shop around for summer clothes. you two have been planning on going to one of the few nicest outdoor outlets around. the only downside is it’s a couple of hours drive. but they have everything you could possibly look for: cute stores, high quality clothing stores, nice bakeries and bubble tea shops, and many more. for that reason, you are willing to be in the car for two hours. this is your idea after all.
the first thing you knock out of your to-do list as you arrive you destination is to grab a refreshing bubble tea. after that, you and sunghoon began roaming around. your wrist acts to its second nature as it automatically entangled with his. sunghoon isn’t really a fan of pda, but he wouldn’t mind having his hand intertwined with yours. he actually enjoys it a lot, but he would never ever admit it or say it out loud.
today is such a bright day.
in the midst of walking in the open air mall, sunghoon confusedly turns his head when you abruptly come to a halt, followed by hearing a loud gasp from you. he’s about to ask what’s wrong but as soon as he looks at what you’re staring at, he understands right away. you lead the way quickly towards the front of the store.
“i’ll just see what they have inside real quick, I won’t take that long” you reassure him, grabbing a mini basket, just in case you end up buying something tiny. he just follows and stays right behind you like a lost puppy.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
there’s no such thing as “real quick” especially when shopping with you. and sunghoon knows that for a fact. he’s even surprised that it only took you 40 minutes to roam around that small store given the fact that you love examining every cute thing the store sells. you would ask for his opinion here and there, only for you to return the items back because you don’t really need those things. still, you’re pleased by how pretty they look. after looking at every product, you ended up only buying two things: a couple of decent size miffy night lamps. one for you and one for him.
“look, I got one for you!” you mutter, swinging the paper bag in front of him.
“for me?” he asks dumbfoundedly, he didn’t even realized that you bought two of the same item. you reply with a nod. “yup, they’re the same thing so we can match” you explain, wrapping your hands to his arm as you proceed to your next stop. before he could even react, he’s being dragged by you elsewhere.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
“this one, this one, this one..” you mumble to yourself, fully concentrating on picking oversized t-shirt that would look good on sunghoon. so far you have three different color of shirts in your hand. a sky blue, white, and light pink. he typically dislikes pink but it would look great on him.
“try these on, I will look for more��� you softly instruct him as you handle the clothes.
“pink?” he utterly baffles, not liking the idea of trying on the particular shirt.
“trust me, it’ll look good on you”
sunghoon is about to disagree, but he chooses not to. he’s in love you to the point where he’s going to do whatever you ask him to do, even if it’s against his liking as such color of a damn shirt. he won’t listen to anyone. but he’s willing to listen to you.
he ended up trying it. it wasn’t as bad he thought it would be. maybe wearing pink isn’t that bad, solely because the girl he loves says so.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
seasons_m.list [processing]
a/n: i’m making a series of this couple<33
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lovebvni · 2 days
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Oh I mean tips on reaching the void ! Or stuff
my best tip would be trust it will happen.
the void is a state we reach right before sleep and right before we wake up. it is during that transition of unconsciousness into consciousness.
it is the point when the mind reconnects to the physical body.
in my personal opinion, we reach the void every night no matter what, it just depends on what we do in it.
another tip would be don’t put it on a pedestal.
i know this is obvious, but it’s something i did with shifting. if you do it every day, it literally is not hard. it isn’t impossible, and it for SURE isn’t something out of reach.
we are more than bodies, we are souls that have the ability to do any and everything. so trust that.
two more things — persist but know when to take breaks.
persistence is working until you get the desired results, but there need to be a balance of taking breaks.
for example, i have a certain sign i have to see if the universe wants me to make a shifting attempt, otherwise i rest. and if im so tired and burnt out, sometimes ill say fuck if and js go to sleep with only an intention. 🤷🏽‍♀️
take a break when ur tired, when you’re stressed, or when your struggling and look outwardly for advice. don’t always say “oh i need to do this myself it’s my own journey” bc it’s always okay to ask for help. hell, i do it daily 🤷🏽‍♀️
that’s all i got for u anon!! i have more blogs abt the void somewhere and ill try to update this sometime 😭😭 im rlly sleepy now so im gonna knock out xx
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