#i keep trying to ignore those thoughts and say theyre wrong but fuck

[boxwinebaddie]

uncle neen...yk im happy that the boys are hating n all but can we get a lil toxic yaoi?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGH, whoever sent me this anon and the one asking me to elaborate on jersey being afriad to say i love you, ENJOY PRISON!!!! WOW!!!!! OW SO MUCH!!!!

( i will be answering that one btw, dw i'm not ignoring it, its just taking a while bc want to make sure its thorough aka my tears keep making my laptop short-circuit while i'm trying to write it...fml )

like maaaan, this is supposed to be my beautiful and relaxing utopia of a tumblr blog where i get to forget that i write multiple unfinished multi-chapter style angst au fanfics and pretend to be peaceful!

your honor, i have never done anything wrong in my life! facts! xx

but uhhhhh....u might be onto something...bc when i tell you, ravesey style literally does not fight bc they are in love ( or hate, ig, bC KYLE CANT SAY I LOVE YOU, I'M GONNA END IT ALLLL ) but if they did, which it's gotta have happened once, right? it was probably crazy, messy and soooooo insane like......ooooough my god, hELP.

*ravenstan vc* pero like they've literally been temporaried and basically married since they were in middle school, SO IF THEY FIGHT??? IF THEY BREAK UP??? DOES THAT MEAN THEYRE GETTING DIVORCED???? IM SICK!!!! IM SO SICK MY STOMACH HURTS SO BAD I HATE THIS!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

i want to d*e, however....you know me...

and i do Live for the Drama, babey. ;)

like, okay, okay, okay could you imagine them at the same events bc marjorine is in crimson dawn so naturally kyle ft. the blonde crew would all be there ( and we all read my cringe post, we know what used to go on at those events between the boys and what came off ) and oooooooooof, like??? some weird music exec man talking to stan, trying to make a pass at him, tryna touch his ass, making him super uncomfortable and stan just like ahaahaAhaaa! yeah! be in touch! more like please don't touch me lol, i'm literally scared of u, wtf!!! :'((

and jerseykyle walking up after the guy leaves like "I Don't Like How That Guy Was Talking To You" hella overprotective & ravenstan being like "Why Do You Care? You're Not My Boyfriend, Rem(ember)?"

AHHHHHHHHHHHH HELLLLLLL NOOOOOO

I HATE IT HERE LIKE MAAAAAAAAAAN!!! BOOOOO!!!!!!

and kyle just being like "you're right. i'm not." :'|

this is sick....I am SICK.

and kyle trying to deflect and not be vulnerable bc hE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO BE VULNERABLE PLS TELL ME THEY DIDNT BREAK UP BC KYLE CANT SAY I LOVE YOU I WILL PASS AWAY!!!

all like "i can smell the vodka on ur breath, by the way. i thought you quit drinking." and stan quick with it af bc hes defensive relapsing and his drinking problem smh like "yeah? and i can smell the cigarettes on yours. i thought YOU quit." AUUUR NAAAH

and kyle being also defensive about relapsing and his cigarette addiction like "Why Do You Care? You're Not My Boyfriend...

rEm(EmBEr)?"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!! i'm so sad this is sO!!!!

i feel like its so messy like i feel like they are a bubbline level of messy or like a haylor break up level of messy where stan sings all the romantic kyle songs but makes them Fast instead of slow and does a really bad new jersey accent one time out of spite bc hes schwasted and really sad or writes a really mean song called like psycho babble whatever abt boys who need therapy psychoanalyzing you,,,, AAAA!!!

hell is a place and i hate it here...can they be in love again like MAN?

stan doing interviews and the interviewers trying to skate around the ravesey split so stan doesn't k-word himself and hes just like "no its okay you can say we broke up haha </3" *necks vodka*

"a-anyways, i'm single now! So!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! TOMATTTTOOOOO

and i bet you he only said that bc he thinks jersey kyle re-entered his grindr manwhore for the streets era!!!! bc the interviewers are being nice but the tabloids are being ruthless and photoshopping a bunch of shit and just like taking pictures of kyle outside of the apartment getting mail like NEXT TO THE FKN MAIL MAN LIKE!! NEW BF!!

bUT LIKE HE DIDNT!!!! HE LITERALLY WOULDNT LIKE OH MY GOD BUT ITS ALL VERY CONVINCING AND STAN DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE LIKE MAN WHAT THE FUCK BROTHER!!!!!! NOOOO!!!

i was like hm where is the dial drunk ravenstans one phone call being kyle and kyle not picking up...but ALSO????? where is the scary mean vicious attack dog mean streets new jersey kyle who reverts back to fighting and brawling getting thrown in the cop car and is calling stan/gets dropped on ravenstans doorstep all beat up n bloody and bruised...and stan thinks he was just being reckless and hotheaded and fighting ppl again bUT HE ACTUALLY??? GOT INTO A BAR FIGHT BC SOMEONE SAID SOMETHING ABT RAVEN THAT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP AND LITRALLY BEAT THE SHIT OUT THEM???

i will also have you know that eco/plant king stan knows a lot of natural remedies just from being interested in apothecary stuff and from his mom...but speaking of miss sharon sonrisa, before randy RUINED HER LIFE, she wanted to be a doctor, so she was very skilled in areas of medicine/patching people up and passed all that knowledge onto her lovely son who...literally is scared of blood but does...unfortunately have years of binding under his belt from when he was trying to pass/didn't have top surgery, so he is very good at bandaging wounds ( randy also...gave him lots of practice! haha )

also i want to cry bc...ravenstan is so gentle and will take very good care of u...its probably so tense and so tender in there...when i tell you they are about to KISS that whole time....

ANYWAYS!!!! HOW VERY DARE YOU ASK ME THIS AND MAKE ME MAKE THIS HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION THAT HURT MY FEELINGS...i will...elaborate on it...and make it realer and worse if you ask...BUT KNOW THAT JAIL AWAITS I AM SO UPPPPSET!!!!

-uncle nina, crying and throwing up over the fake ravesey toxic yaoi and drama i created for them FOR THE DRAMA...truly sick n twisted

#I FORGOT TO SAY #i bet you ravenstans hair is a Color #and u know hes having a bpd boy moment if his hair is a color especially if its VIBRANT #and patchy as hell #bc u know he did it himself on a whim probably manic and walked his lil ass to the cvs #in the sharkchanclas and bought like 5 4lokos #and like two boxes of splat #w the crazy 40 volume developer bleach in there smh #and dyed his hair all depressed and stressed #like i bet u its like GREEN or RED...oh my god red hair raven is so mentally ill...that is antistan #i hate it here can they kiss again why did i write this why would u ask me this but also ask me more #i am also v obsessed w street hardened jersey kyle and gentle home medic pacifist stan...theyre in lovE BUT THEYRE FIGHTING LIKE BOOOOO #KISSSSSS ALREADY PLEASE SMASH I HATE THIS #ALSO I BET U IF KYLE SHOWS UP ON THE APARTMENT DOORSTEP STAN IS IN THE COMFORT COLUMBIA SWEATSHIRT HOLDING CURB ALL SHOOK #LIKE UR HONOR THEYRE IN LOVE U GOTTA BELIEVE ME

[tiredstressedemotionalmess]

HEY I KNOW I MUSTVE SENT YOU TONS OF THESE BUT I HAD TO TELL YOU THIS ONE

so i was thinking about poison and jet, specifically after ghoul is kicked out, and how stuffs pretty dicey w them yk? anyway i dont know how far you would Go with this but like the idea of poison not really being in control of themselves when they told ghoul to leave? like they didnt want to do it but they Did and now they hurt jet and they hurt ghoul and they're just hurting everybody rn. so i thought

"Bury me, in the dirt where I belong, bury me // If all I do is love you wrong, bury me // There's so much lower I can go, so bury me"

it was specifically the "if all i do is love you wrong" part that stuck out to me and also theres a lyric earlier that goes 'i build it up to break it' and i just kinda thought like damn. they sorta did

anyway. i have to go to school but i am thinking so much about poison today

SO INCREDIBLY REAL KAZ OH MY GOD

and yeah when poison was telling ghoul to leave there was definitely a lack of control on their part- not that it wasn't their choice to say those things bc it definitely was and they are definitely still at fault, but their reacting in such an extreme way was caused by a buildup of all the emotions they'd been trying so hard to ignore and block out. they don't want to be jealous of ghoul, they want jet to be happy and even ghoul to be happy, and they're so focused on avoiding the issue and not letting themself feel or act jealous that when they are finally faced with ghoul doing something mildly annoying to them at best, they fucking snap and it all comes spilling out in a way they never meant it to. in the moment they wanted to hurt ghoul, but that moment was so incredibly fleeting and they regretted it as soon as it happened, but even then they're so afraid of confronting why they did it and admitting the cause behind their actions that they couldn't bring themself to do anything in the aftermath to fix the situation. maybe a part of them thought ghoul would retaliate and hurt them in the same way, like they felt they deserved to be hurt

ANYWAYS all this to say YEAH HOLY SHIT THIS SONG FITS PERFECTLY!!!! even just the first verse- "I feel like burning it to the ground/I build it up to break it/I don’t know why you keep me around/Are you just afraid of changing?/Going to make a scene until you leave/'Cause I’m on a losing streak/I used to be the cherry on top/Now I’m the nail in the coffin" -describe the whole situation to a fucking t!!!! they build up these relationships just to sabotage them bc they're afraid of their feelings, they don't understand why jet tolerates them or even wants them around (especially now that ghoul's there to be everything they aren't), they used to be the one closest to jet and now they're just the one ruining everything for him,,, gaaaaghsdgdajghsdf YEAH NO ITS SO GOOD THIS IS GOING ON THE PLAYLIST TOO FUCK. HONESTLY AT THIS POINT I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD MAKE TTID PLAYLISTS OF JUST THE USED SONGS BC IT FEELS LIKE THEY HAVE SO MANY SONGS THAT WOULD WORK AS LIKE. THE SOUNDTRACK FOR THIS FIC (maybe there's some subconscious shit going on there bc theyre one of my favorite bands who knows idk 💀)

#asks #ttid #also PLEASE KEEP SENDING ME TONS MORE OF THESE THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE THING EVER I LOVE HEARING ALL UR THOUGHTSSSSSSSS

[stars-in-our-skies]

I think you missed the entire point of that poll

It’s not “psychological VS spiritual” it’s “using the word otherkin as it was intended (an identity) vs using it for characters you simply relate to”

Also, having a past life and identifying as that thing from a past life is inherently not a delusion. Spreading misinformation like that is harmful to those who actually experience psychosis.

Ignore any spelling errors. I have a migraine.

A. didnt misunderstand the point, just thought it was a non-issue, because it is

B. MY point was that, tldr, who gives a fucking shit what term you use when you experience the same thing. I believe i said that, too.

but, ok right. if the question is "kinning for fun". i can't imagine youd be "kinning" anything unless you seriously identified with what youre "kinning" as.

in which case, the definition of kin is identifying with/as something-- as in, part of your identity. & as someone who was in that community for a while i didnt notice anyone trying to claim that there was this huge difference between why you identify with/as something until… maybe a year or two ago? I dunno. im not involved much anymore. Like i said, things got crazy around the time that mogai first gained waves. Historically on otherkin forums it was accepted as just another way of experiencing kinship. (And i would know, i was there!)

so by our definition… yes, it should be included in kin if it's what they want. If you're looking for "believing in kinship spiritually i.e past lives" vs "strongly identifying with/as something" then… theres not too much of a difference in the experience other than origin. In which case, we already had words for those; spiritual kin & psychological kin. i did not keep a kin journal & frequent sites like otherkin.net back in 2016 for yall to tell me that this wasnt a thing LMAO.

(sidebar, it reminds me of when people try to say that endo systems are ~inherently different~ to traumagenic systems because of ~fundamental differences~ or some bullshit. They aren't, theyre functionally the same. they just formed under different conditions. Same shit, different community. //shrug)

But, lets use your example then. "Relating to a character". I dont believe that happens, but ok, thats me and maybe im wrong. if the thing was "i kin for funsies but i dont think im actually that thing / i just relate to this character" then yes, it would be a different word. I'm not sure about these days, but 8 years ago we called that a synpath. and even then, still not an issue. The broad otherkin community has always been accepting of kin-for-fun. Thats why terms like synpath & -hearted were made -- because theyre subtypes of otherkin & fictionkin.

i'm not fond of the "they should use a different word" thing. Seems like another attempt at "correcting" people on their own identities. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth considering how often "you cant use this word because it was made with this other thing in mind" is used as an argument against queer identities but i digress.

I could see this argument working maybe if kin was a closed practice, but it was never closed to begin with and like i said, was always inclusive of all kintypes including synpaths. //shrug again

C. all religion & spirituality is man-made. It's something that can't be proven and something people believe in blindly. Ergo, delusion. Admittedly, a better term here would probably be "societal construct". But I'm not in the mood to think it through much more.

and before anyone tries to argue with me over religion & spirituality. I love anthropology, and i love the history of religion and its importance to humanity, and i know that religion has a long and complicated history, but that does not mean that i believe in it or even like it.

D. lastly, Im delusional you loser. I deserve $50 for reading that bullshit alone.

#EDIT ok tumblr ruined my formatting for this so i had to switch to alphabetical instead sorry #asks #INB4 yes i still feel a connection to kin #however like i said it isnt spiritually its psychologically #i just gave up on the community because i wanted to focus more on plural stuff #i have system members who take it suuuuper seriously

[candiedcatnip]

It’s Bad Mood Time!

Brought to you by incredibly intense feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, and a return of the fan favorite “I have no redeeming factors and deserve every shitty thing that’s ever happened to me”!

#max mumbles #i hate that now whenever i get like this i start worrying that this is proof my friends will all outgrow me #that they'll get better and i wont #my psych tried to talk with me about possible ways to find a job i actually like and it doesnt exist! #its pointless to try and get my hope up like this! #even if one did exist i probably wouldn't get it or i'd fuck it up or it wouldn't make enough money to sustain me #im trying to resign myself to working minimum wage jobs i hate for the rest of my life #i cant hope for things i cant have #i keep trying to ignore those thoughts and say theyre wrong but fuck #i'm not going to find a job i like i'm not going to do financially well enough to be debt free or live in my own place #i'm not going to find someone who loves me and everyone i care about is going to outgrow me or drift away from me #i'm an annoying useless piece of shit and i deserve it #i deserved all of it #he ruined my life and i deserved it #i shouldve been grateful

[heydocpotts]

i'm not posting this as it was in case the person involved happens across it and potentially feels discouraged and upset because i know how i'd feel as an artist reading something like this.

that being said, there's this burning question i have to ask, i'm so curious: what the fuck is wrong with you?

this is such an awful thing to do. what exactly makes you think i give a shit about your stupid ass opinion, especially about an artist i clearly love? i'm literally an artist, WHY would you think i'd want to read terrible, disparaging shit about another one?

you obviously don't understand how much time and effort goes into art, how much we pour ourselves into everything we create. that person in particular is so talented in so many aspects that i'm actually jealous. they have so many different types of pieces, ones where they painted, messed with lighting and shading, animated a little, etc. that i'm actually in awe of how much they can do and undoubtedly are going to do. i like the characterization they present of certain mcu characters they draw, i like the little story going on and the darker issues one of them in particular deals with and has to/will overcome. i like the messiness of their style (which, by the way. my art is always messy so what are you even doing here if you hate it so much?) i've literally sat there and just scrolled through their work while saying "wow" under my breath.

what exactly are you good at, besides being a dick? losing brain cells?

they could draw the same thing a million times and i'd love every single piece. why? because theyre fucking skilled and talented and not only do i appreciate the effort it took, but i love their art and i love looking at it.

i honestly don't know how you came to the conclusion that sending me this would be a good choice, this is so completely tone deaf and self absorbed. i literally expressed that this art is so good and i enjoy it and you looked at that and said, "hmm guess its time to shit on this person's parade because i think everyone should always hear my unsolicited shitty opinions." it's not only rude to me, but it's absolutely disgusting to say about someone who worked hard on what they created and put themself out there by sharing.

you know what is a super duper simple fix? here, i'll give you a step by step. i know thinking critically is hard for you, try to keep up.

1. see art you don't like? scroll away

2. shut the fuck up

that's all you have to do. don't agree with my (or someone else's) positive opinion about the art you don't like? here's an idea: ignore it and keep your thoughts to your fucking self. in life, you won't always agree with things other people think so in those instances, once again, i encourage you to shut the absolute fuck up. did you get that? maybe write it down if you're unsure, i know change is difficult.

i am never ever going to be okay with reading something like this. i have never and will never endorse spreading negative shit like this. you want to complain about something, find someone else.

tl;dr: your opinion is absolute garbage, i don't like you, and that person has more talent/skill in their fucking pinky than you ever will. please shut the fuck up, thanks.

#i know this comes off angry as shit. its because i am angry as shit #long post #anonymous

[daniyanii]

I POSTED THIS ON MY WATTPAD (melaninanimez) FIRST

Soft Yandere Dabi

You remember the exact day you met him. You were just doing your day to day job as a florist. You loved your little shop with everything you had left, because well....it was all you had left.

Many years ago your shop was actually your fathers. You used to run around smelling the flowers and playing with the petals in your own world while he worked to give you everything he could. Life was good...until it wasn't.

One day while you were playing in the back room, your father was being robbed. He was always a prideful man and would refuse to give up, but that was his downfall. He refused to give the money not because he was greedy, but because he was saving up to give you a real christmas that year.

After he refused the money the robber was fed up. Your little dream world was interrupted by a single gunshot, something heavy dropping to the floor, and rummaging through the cash register.

You heard the bell on the front door ring quickly as whoever committed this crime ran off. You were completely frozen with fear, but you slowly inched yourself out the room. Once you hit the main room you were horrified to see blood spilling down the small steps that lead behind the counter.

"Daddy?" your high voice whispered out

But you got not response, the only sound that filled the room was the spilling of blood and your jagged breaths.

You had to no choice but to walk up the steps since that was the only way to get behind the counter. You always used to run around barefoot so you had to step directly in the warm trailing blood. When you peeked behind the counter it confirmed your worst nightmare.

Your father had been shot dead.

You remember running to his body and screaming. Begging him to move or talk, asking him not to leave you. But after a few minutes of crying and pleading you knew it was over, he was gone.

He wasn't the first parent you had seen dead either. Your mother killed herself by overdosing a year prior. It took you hours to realize she wasn't just sleep. You remember bouncing on her chest laughing, and begging her to get up. But after your poured water on her hand and when she didn't move you knew something was wrong.

You always tried not to think about it but without fail it remained a constant replaying memory. It was like an annoying fly who just wouldn't go away no matter how many windows you open. You took the pain and trauma from both of those situations and pushed it all the way down to your feet. Whenever you thought about it in public you would just put a smile on your face like always and keep moving.

One day a young man came in staring at the ground, refusing to look up at you. Nevertheless, you still smiled and greeted him like all your other customers.

"Do you have any sunflowers?" He mumbled out still looking as far down as he could.

"Of course I do! Let me show you." You spoke with enthusiasm since surprisingly no one ever asked for sunflowers. Plus....they were your dad's favorite.

You stepped down the steps, and lightly grabbed his hand to lead him to the flowers. He seemed to tense at this but didn't pull away.

"Theyre all the way back here since people aren't usually big fans of them." You explained but quickly shut up, feeling like he wasn't one for small talk. You let go of his hand when the sunflowers came in view.

"There they are, beautiful as ever. I'll leave you to it, any other questions you have I'd be glad to answer." Since his head was slightly up now he could see you but you couldn't really see him, you still gave him your warmest smile and began to walk back to the counter.

"Um, can you actually help me pick one? I'm not very good at this." He spoke deeply, he knew that any other day he would have wordlessly walked in and wandered till he found what he needed, grabbed the first one he saw and left. But something about this woman made him have to talk to her. She radiated this warmth that even he couldn't make.

"Of course! It's not like there's anyone else in here." She turned around smiling again

She began asking him simple questions only flower related. She could tell he was a private man due to his lack of responses and she would respect that. After they picked which ones he wanted they traveled back up to the counter. He had subconsciously fully lifted his head up, displaying scorched skin and stitches. He didn't even realize until she spoke again.

"I'm sorry but your eyes are just beautiful." She confessed to him which made his eyes widen

Half of my face is burnt to a crisp but she noticed my eyes first? And complimented me...she must be joking

"I'm sorry again, I didn't mean to upset you and overstep. Here you go, free of charge." She quickly recanted once she saw his face frown

When he went to grab the flowers his hands grazed hers. He expected her to snatch her hand back after feeling the scorched skin, but she gently let go once she was sure the flowers were in his grip.

"It's alright. Thankyou for the flowers and helping me but I must pay you." He reached to his pocket but she pulled his hand out, holding it for a second.

"No need. It's nice to actually have a customer on the weekdays. Consider it a gift!" beaming brightly and the dark man

That damn smile again, why is it so enchanting? Is that her quirk?

"What's your name?" He blurted out before he could stop himself, and subconsciously tightened the hold on her hand

"Y/n L/n. What about you stranger?" Her smile never once faltered and she didn't even think about pulling her hand away

Why isn't she scared of me? Or is she just good at acting?

"Dabi. My name is Dabi." He bluntly responded

"Well Dabi, I hope to see you again. You seem like a good man." Y/n had always been like this, her kindness knew no limits. Anyone else would’ve immediately labeled Dabi dangerous…which he was

"I- Okay." For once Dabi didn't know what to say

After that day he stalked her non stop. It was such a surprise to see that once she was in the "safe" confines of her home how fast her smile dropped. How on most days her eyes would immediately begin to water as she scolded herself about being weak.

It saddened him to see how draining it was for her to act so nice. She wasted her kindness on anyone and everyone, and it took a lot out of her.

He had finally worked the courage up to go back. This time he knew he'd have to have her forever.

"Hey Dabi! Nice to see you again." she exclaimed

She remembers my name?

"Hi Y/n." He spoke lowly trying to avoid eye contact since he knew she was probably disgusting by his burnt skin and stitches

"More sunflowers?" she questioned since most people always got the same flowers

"Um, I guess you could say that." He answered knowing she wouldn't get it, but he knew that whenever he saw sunflowers (or any flower for the most part) he couldn't help but see her smile.

He considered her a flower, more specifically a sunflower.

"Well you know where they are. Need any help picking them out?" She questioned while he just nodded in response

She took a deep breath and walked down the very steps that haunted her. Almost as if she could still feel the warm blood between her toes She refused to show her pain so she did what she always did....smile the pain away.

When they got to the very back where no one could see them, he grabbed her hand. Not forcefully, but he had a good grip on her, scared that she would snatch away.

but she didn't

and in that moment he knew

she was his and his only

"Dabi are you okay?" She asked smile slowly dropped as she saw his nervous face

"Why aren't you scared of me?" He blurted out, needing to know the reason.

Her warm smile came back as she grabbed his hand a little tighter

"Well, you haven't given me a reason to be. You're really nice, and I have no room to judge anyone."

Dabi's heart was beating so fast he could hear it. He no longer could live without her, what was to come next had to be done.

"W-Would you mind taking a walk with me?" He asked nervously, knowing that any normal person would practically scream no

"Of course, the shop is slow today anyways. Come on." She took their hands and intertwined their fingers

Dabi could feel all the blood rushing to his cheeks. He never had a woman, or anyone touch him like this so willingly.

She let Dabi lead and after quite some time she realized he was walking her out of town.

"Dabi where are we going? Town is back that way." She questioned

"I-I'm selfish. I need you, I want you, and so I'll have you. You'll learn to lik-." Dabi was cut off by lips touching his

His heart damn near stopped

He had never been kissed before

He'd never even had a hug

And here she was kissing him first

"Dabi I already like you. I'll go anywhere you want, but what about my shop? It's been in my family for generations." She replied softly

I'm fucking dreaming arent I?

"W-We can arrange t-to have it looked after." He was in such shock he could barely talk

"Okie Dokie. Then lets go!"

"Are you serious? You're not gonna run or scream and call me a monster? You'll just come with me willingly?" He stared at her with udder disbelief, expecting her to kill me

"Will you protect me?" She ignored his questions and dropped her smile to know she was serious

"With my life. You'll never be hurt again." He didn't even hesitate, wrapping arms around her waist, not pulling her in for a hug because he didn't wanna scare her.

"Will you give me your loyalty?"

"There is no one else I could ever feel like this for. Only you." He confessed truthfully

"And you promise not to leave?" She was tired of everything in her life leaving

So what if Dabi wasn't "normal"?

So what if she would never leave his sight?

She finally had someone again, and she didn't wanna have to let go again.

And he wasn't letting her go

So it would all workout

"I will never leave you. And you can't leave me. I-I love you." Dabi couldn't believe he just said that but he really couldn't believe what happened next after that

"Then what are we still here for. I'm ready to go home with you." she said while pulling him in for a deep hug

He just inhaled her scent, she smelled so floral and ethereal.

He couldn't believe she wanted to be with him.

#yandere #yandere dabi #yandere touya #touya todoroki #dabi x black!reader #touya x black reader #bhna x black reader #mha x black reader #yandere mha #yandere todoroki’s #yandere bhna #yandere bhna x black reader #yandere mha x black reader #dabi #soft yandere #soft yandere dabi #soft dabi

[nimsabeef]

davekat isn't a bad couple, actually

okay, i am bored and sleep deprived and i just went through @davekat-sucks's blog. this is a recipe for disaster. sigh. hope you don't mind me doing this ms. davekat sucks, its just that some of your takes were so frigid i just couldn't bring myself to ignore them. various thoughts under the cut

first off, id like to say that this not an attempt to blame you for making this blog, or for disliking davekat. you can ship whatever the fuck you want and express your opinion however you like. i actually really appreciate the courage. fuck yeah, go against the status quo. post about a controversial topic. fandom would be boring without people like you. but the thing is, your takes are so cold bestie. they are straight up frigid. i am so sorry but the sight of them got me freezing and shaking uncontrollably

why do you base so much of your criticism around hs2 and the epilogues whilst simultaneously claiming they're badly written and shouldn’t be canon? YES their characterisations were fucked in post-canon. that's the case for most characters!! it's kind of hypocritical to use post-canon as a basis to bash davekat and then turn around and completely disregard that when it comes to pairings like roxygen or rosemary. guess what! they were fucked over by post-canon too! and yet you're not going around claiming that johnroxy sucks, even though john basically abandoned roxy and cheated on her. you're not going around claiming rosemary is a horrible pairing because of the yiffy fiasco in homestuck 2. and you still like those ships. so do i!!

hs2 turned davekat into some kind of fanservice generator and robbed dave and karkat of most of their personalities, i agree. but that's because hs2 fucking sucks. they did that for most of the character anyway. why does it only matter to you when it's davekat? much to think about.

so yeah. im not going to address the criticism pertaining to the epilogues and beyond. im not defending them

another thing you keep bringing up is dave hating quadrants which, jesus fucking christ. it makes me doubt you have any reading comprehension skills. the label felt alien to him, yes. he initially rejected the concept because it seemed weird and off-putting, probably, and that's normal. most of the kids thought troll culture was weird at first. and! he didn't break up with terezi because he hated quadrants! he just doesn't like the polygamous aspect of it.

but let's suppose for the sake of argument that he actually, canonically, hates quadrants. what would that even mean? would that imply he would never get into a relationship with a troll, seeing as those would technically be quadrants? or that he doesn't feel any kind of quadrant-related romantic attraction? both of these were proven wrong by canon because: 1) he willingly got into a matespritship with terezi 2) humans can feel pale, pitch, and red attraction; they just label it differently. karkat elaborates on that in a conversation with john, probably around act6 act5. and davekat doesnt even fall squarely under any quadrant, so this is all pointless lol

one other point you brought up was that as soon as they got close to one another on the meteor, they stopped being active in the plot and disregarded all of the issues their friends were dealing with, proving that their relationship was lazy writing which caused their development to stagnate. this is a good point! but when you look into it, that's not really what happened.

the beta kids and the surviving trolls all began blending into the background during act 6 as the story began focusing on the alpha kids. most of them were sitting around, not particularly doing anything relevant, because there was nothing relevant to be done except for waiting. like kanaya, or davesprite, for example.

you mention that it was ooc for dave and karkat not to help terezi while she was getting abused. the thing is, terezi tried to keep her relationship with gamzee under wraps. she didn't really succeed at that, but people still didn't know exactly what was going on with them at first. karkat wasn't even told about it. he didn't even know she was dating gamzee up until very late into the trip. dave had just broken up with her and didn't know much about troll quadrants by that point, so he probably just thought it was all kismesis shit and didn't want to intrude. again, if he had known what was really going on, he probably would have intervened, but he only had a vague idea about it since terezi wasn't open about her relationship with gamzee. that is, up until the very end of the trip, and by that point dave and karkat WERE trying to encourage her.

you mention that they also didn't help rose with her addiction, but dave was trying! he spent a whole scene trying to get her to drink less! (the one right before the rosemary kiss)

but the thing is. most of the meteor shenanigans happened off screen, so we're not certain of anything. but again, for the sake of argument, let's assume they actually weren't even trying to help their friends. why would that matter? why would the fact that they weren't rushing to fix all of their friends emotional issues have any impact on their feelings for each other? they're traumatised teenagers, they make mistakes! theyre flawed characters!

kanaya didnt try to help terezi with the gamzee situation either. she didnt try to contact the ship either. instead, she spent most of her time with rose. does that make rosemary a horrible pairing? is it ooc for rose and kanaya? from what i've seen, this doesnt seem to be your opinion on the subject.

yeah that’s basically it. you don’t need to respond, but a response would be welcome. thank you for reading!

#davekat #hs^2 #homestuck #i dont wanna put this in the main tag #ill use the read more thing #sorry yall #conversing

[getallemeralds]

doip.: session.. 3?? / 8.30.21

oh shit i cant hear the recap music bc of my fucking headset

I FORGOT WE STOLE(?) A BARREL CRAB

LAST TIME ON DRAGONS OF ICESPIRE PEAK: we killed the shapechanger and stole(?) a barrel crab!

michael: i feel like we have to use the barrel crab now, because the announcer guy included it in the recap jorb: the announcer guy. michael: i don't know his name!

notes may be sparse bc im doodling alidaar while listening to the others talk

we have given the funny little animal arson powers

time to go to the dwarven excavation! also i finished doodling so im listening now

"i'm going to roll perception to see if some shit is up-- ahaahaa. aaahahaeehahaahaa . aaa"

michael to the rescue! with a better explanation of what he's trying to look for (if anythings been raided or messed up) and also a better roll in general

are the wyatts still arguing about horses? (no! somehow.)

nyx: are you trying to perceive jorb: are you trying to use your eyes, sir?

dwarven excavation has a big ol temple! which has dwarven statues out front that have "evil grins" or smth. so, uh, this is fine

michael: i dont think i trust those stone piles, they look like theyre drawn on an animation frame.

it has been 4 sessions and nyx's character still doesnt have a name btw

nyx: i am the most stealthy binturong that has ever existed, i am squeaking out loud, i am throwing rocks everywhere nyx being a Funny Little Animal is so good bc even tho his stealth check sucked, the dwarves he's stalking just ignored him bc it's a lil binturong vibing on some rocks

every day im shufflin'

(jorb shuffling tokens around trying to remember which npc is which)

nyx: [coughing] leo: ..is nyx dying? jorb: no - wait no i thought that was part of the ambience but yeah that's nyx dying

dwarves :>

alidaar is fun. snarky bastard. pronouns aren't real

temple has an infestation of goops!

michael: hold on let me cast a spell on myself before i recall high school physics

alidaar: i'm gonna be real i'm just here for violence and p much nothin else, sooooo

alidaar: alriiiight! venture forth, fuckos!

oh hey ali has darkvision. apparently that's a house rule thing bc for some reason dragonborn?? don't have darkvision???? normally??????? ty based jorb

leo, as alidaar: i've just discovered i have darkvision! i've never been in a dark room in my entire life! michael: alidaar scratching the side of his head like "what does this little switch do?" click. "oh my god i have darkvision!"

jorb: you're checking out the ceiling, huh? leo: y.. ye a ...

uh oh, oozes!

leo: i'm.. going to back away. jorb: that's probably a good idea. leo: i'm going to knock on the wall [over by tobias] and go "hey uh, i found a problem. i found TWO problems."

having a group huddle!

WHOOPS I FORGOT TO EQUIP MY RUNES good thing i figured that out right before combat started lmao. alidaar's a rune knight now!

leo: [checking something] jorb: [@ nyx] ..you now have an initiative of 23. leo: w

PEPPER'S HERE

distracted from d&d by cat

LITTLE GUY HAS DEPLOYED AN ORBITAL LASER (moonbeam) lmao the jelly walked right into it bc. int of 2-- WHOA guiding bolt op

one jelly down! -AH BEANS im getting owned

whap

woo, combat done! i was the only one that got hit lmao

nawball is talking abt eating grass.

alidaar found a secret door! while both tobias and nameless failed lmao

man i keep not taking good notes bc its mainly us fighting stuff and then exploring around. which is fun! but not interesting to take notes of asides from funny quips

remember how i said the wyatts werent arguing abt horses? i was wrong

HELP I'M INSIDE A WALL

AH FUCK NOTHER JELLY

I'M GOING TO PARKOUR OVER THE JELLY. LET'S GOOOOOOOOO I'VE GOT A PLUS SIX TO ATHLETICS LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO i lost like half my hp and fell over prone but IT WAS WORTH IT NOT WORTH IT NOT WORTH IT NOT WORTH IT WOW. THIS WAS A BAD IDEA.

SOMEHOW THIS LET ME ESCAPE BC THE JELLY SUCKS THATM UCH

jorb: ..okay, because its a 1, im gonna say youre prone again leo: GODAMNIT

jorb: do you want to spend half of your movement to get up? you don't have anywhere to go-- leo: LET ME UP. I WANT TO STAND UP jorb: okay! whatre you gonna do now- leo: VIOLENCE. I WANT TO KILL [rolls to attack]

jorb: how do you wanna do this? leo: i am going to fucking splatter this jelly like jam on toast.

I KEEP GETTING STUCK IN THE WALL

little guy is putting on a cool necklace they found in a strange tomb! This Is Fine

rubbing my face on a pillar to investigate it leo: [rolls a 5] i go up to the pillar, and i put my face against it, and i just.. stand there leaning on it with my face smooshed on it

leo: i'm gonna keep rubbing my face on it [rolls a 10] jorb: your face hurts a little bit.

npc: hey, uh, whatre you doing over there? alidaar: my best.

tobias: alidaar, did you find anything? alidaar: i found a pillar.

leo: okay, naptime. i fall asleep where im standing - im leaning on the pillar, face smushed against it, and i fall asleep standing there

oh shit, orcs these are the like. generic angy orcs. which is a shame but eh at least i ooc get to feel less guilt about ic alidaar going off the shits in 0.5 seconds surprise round! tobias bisected the first orc and alidaar's breath weapon nearly knocked out the other two. in the surprise round. man i love alidaar's breath weapon WOW. LITTLE GUY JUST DID A CRITICAL HIT. I FEEL BAD FOR THESE GUYS

leo: i feel kinda bad for these orcs! michael: they probably eat babies its fine

michael: i'm going to go full todoroki on this ass [...] yes i had to google to make sure i was getting the name right

all the orcs are just. Obliterated. OH MY GOD THEY DIDNT GET A TURN. THEY DIDNT GET A SINGLE HIT IN WE JUST ANNIHILATED ALL OF THEM michael: ..are we the baddies?

potg: michael sniping an orc in half

#leo chirps #ttprg #doip.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

[tigerdrop]

dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this

jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane

how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to

gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid

THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away

> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much

trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out

it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .

> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing

its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man

> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha

> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly

benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT

> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...

GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too

> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again

and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes

TWO SIDES

> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im

> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....

> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....

NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING

prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls

benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way

he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team

> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure

> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain

> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest

benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......

i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog

and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off

> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....

> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...

> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL

ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct

> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...

> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?

i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed

i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth

> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon

> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)

> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit

> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on

> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick

> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot

> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can.  idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this

> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again

> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa

> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...

> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears

> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor

hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......

> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing

> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp

f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles

> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)

> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....

> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking

> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense

NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid

theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......

even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation

like u said...........he really wanted it to happen

> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent

the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??

dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it

> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though

huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now

sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted

> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.

> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane

dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct

> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged

thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap

> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him

like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him

> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....

> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey

benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can

(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word

you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop

(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps

and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips

gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with

(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u

> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home

> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez

YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U

> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying

I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT

think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know

they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up

maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad

any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy

it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison

like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is

gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying

> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....

AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO

g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong  with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode

> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.

> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…

> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...

> … Well, that could be interesting.

> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.

> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.

> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.

> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.

losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this

> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.

> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.

> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.

> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."

> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.

> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."

i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context

thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him

gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp

i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg

and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him

and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity

and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent

SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air

and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy

> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)

> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space

Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf  wt ff

still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"

its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again

the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh

his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this

gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily

just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....

and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now

> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him

every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......

hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure

gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"

> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too

GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that

> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly

> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose.......  and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes

> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc

im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded

> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say

maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick

> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now

> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it

> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc

> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power

> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry

god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism

gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week

and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)

and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed

just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner

THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS

#asky #writin stuff

[thoughts-of-the-unheard]

oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking    of   replacements    fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

#chain of iron spoilers #chain of iron #coi #choi #the last hours #tlh #lucie herondale #jesse blackthorn #lucie x jesse #secrets #matthew fairchild #cordelia carstairs #cordelia herondale #james herondale #james x cordelia #drinking #the gracelet #the bracelet situation #parabatai #alistair carstairs #thomas lightwood #alistair x thomas #anna lightwood #ariadne bridgestock #anna x ariadne #grace blackthorn #tatiana blackthorn #belial #prince of hell #enchantment

[wickedsingularity]

Avalanche [one-shot]

Fandom: MCU Pairings/characters: Bucky Barnes x reader (but not really), Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, mention of Wanda Maximoff Words: 3757 Warnings: Lime, repressed emotions, accidental exhibitionism

Note: Something @iguess-theyre-mymess​ gave me an idea for when I was doing NaNoWriMo last year, but that whole thing went to hell. There something not right here, with the characterizations. We've discussed it, but then I forgot all about it, and now I'm just... fuck it. There's some smut here, people will ignore characterization as long as there's smut. Sue me.

Summary: She wasn't supposed to be on this mission with Bucky, but plans had changed, then plans had gone wrong and now they had missed their flight window. Sexual tension rise to the surface while they wait in the safe house, and when an avalanche makes them stuck, repressed feelings rise up too.

It wasn't clear what was louder, the roaring wind outside or the heaving breaths of the two bodies that had just pulled apart with a groan and laid next to each other. Neither of the two noticed the wind however, completely lost in the bliss as they were.

"That was..." she started. It had been good. Very, very good. But not a chance in hell she was going to say those words. She did not want to give him the satisfaction, not after the way he behaved during this mission.

"Yeah." Bucky concurred.

They lay in awkward silence for a couple of minutes to catch their breaths, until she rolled to her side, her back to him. "Well, goodnight."

Bucky made a sound of annoyance, and swiftly turned his back to her too and pounded his fist into his pillow unnecessarily hard to fluff it up. Despite the vibe of annoyance that hung in the sex-smelling air, both fell asleep within minutes.

After finishing a mission deep in Lapland, the two of them had been forced to take refuge in a safe house to rest up. Steve was supposed to have gone with Bucky, but something had come up and she had had to replace the captain. To say she was unhappy about it was an understatement, especially because she was supposed to have gone on a simple recon mission to the much warmer and prettier Puerto Rico, but that mission had gone to Wanda instead. So now she had spent two days in the coldest, snowiest place on Earth with a Bucky Barnes that had been more pig-headed than usual.

The moment they had closed the door to the cabin behind them, they had been at each other's throats. He had insisted that the plan wouldn't work and they should take a different approach and she had claimed that his suggestion would take too long and be too big of a risk. He had made the final decision without her and while it turned out that it had been the only way to make the mission a success, it had taken a lot longer and been a hell of a lot riskier, almost too risky. Which is why they had had to wander for far too long in the cold snow to find this safe house because they had missed their flight window, and now had to spend the night there to rest up before heading back out to do the cleanup and fly back. The screaming in each other's face what the other did wrong only served to have the sexual tension that had been building between them for months snap and break.

Clothes were scattered all around leading to the bed, a lamp and side table had been knocked over, a painting had fallen off the wall, and there was a dent in the headboard from Bucky's metal arm.

Silence filled the house as they slept, their shouting and moans and groans replaced with deep, calm breathing. Outside, the wind was gathering strength, snowflakes frantically dancing in the porchlight. When they fell asleep, the snow was halfway up under the windows, and by dawn it had reached the window sill, the wind packing it tight against the house.

It was still fairly early in the morning when rumbling sounded in the distance. An ominous rumble that quickly grew louder and louder. Bucky was the first to wake from it. He was only disoriented for two seconds before he cursed and leapt off the bed and over to the window. This woke her up and she too scrambled towards the window as the rumbling was almost deafening. Her first thought upon seeing all the snow was that she would crawl her way out of the cabin even if she froze her hands off rather than stay here with that pig-headed super-soldier. But then the roof creaked and the rumbling was right upon them, both looking up and almost shielding themselves as if the roof was about to cave in. And then everything was dark as the moonlight disappeared and the power went, taking with it the light in the bathroom. There was complete silence.

"Well shit," Bucky said, quite fittingly.

She looked over at him and not having had much light to desensitize her eyes, she saw that he was very much naked still, as was she. She was over by the bed in one leap and grabbed the sheets to wrap around herself, leaving Bucky with only a pillow to hide his front.

"I am going to go in there," she nodded her head towards the bathroom, "and by the time I'm out, you better be decent and have found something to light up this place so we can see what we're doing when we try to get someone to help us out of here."

Bucky didn't dare to do anything but nod at her sharp voice and watch as she clumsily fished her phone out of a pocket on the suit on the floor and turned on its flashlight while holding onto the sheets at the same time. When she slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it, he tossed the pillow onto the bed and went to hunt down his own clothes and then see if there were any candles or flashlights lying around.

A little while later, she appeared in the kitchen fully dressed with the top of her Kevlar suit hanging around her hips, black thermal undershirt untucked. Bucky was about to pour freshly brewed coffee into two mugs while wearing his headlamp, but the room was bathed in light and the items they had knocked over in their hurry to get naked the previous night had been put back into place.

"I found the backup generator," he explained, pushing one of the coffee mugs towards her on the counter and then turned off the headlamp and pulled it off. "Good morning."

It was properly morning now too, a sliver of sunlight snuck through the half an inch of the kitchen window that was not covered by snow.

"Good morning, Barnes." She grabbed the offered mug and sniffed it before taking a sip.

"I also found some jerky in the pantry." He pointed to an open bag on the counter. "Nothing fresh, but it's something."

"It will have to do." She reached into the bag and grabbed a few strips. "Have you tried to call Hill?"

"I have," Bucky said. "But the signal is too low to get a call through. I have tried throughout the entire cabin except in the bathroom."

"Satphone?" she asked above the rim of the steaming mug.

"Battery is dead. I was going to fix the charger after I had made coffee."

"The charger isn't working? And why is the battery dead? I thought you charged it yesterday."

"I did charge it yesterday. But there is something wrong with the charger, and it didn't reach a hundred percent and has drained quickly in the cold."

"Okay, you fix that, and I'll try to get through on my phone."

Bucky gave her a look that told her he wasn't surprised that she had to double-check the phone reception before he grabbed his coffee and a handful of jerky and sat down on the couch by the small coffee table. She watched him rummage through the bag next to him, pulling out the satphone's charger and started to wiggle the cord where it was connected to the adapter.

She shook her head in exasperation as she reached for the phone in her back pocket, but stopped, one hand resting on the coffee mug on the counter, the other holding her phone, not able to look away from the super-soldier working. Despite how much she disagreed with his plan the other day and the words she had shouted at him the previous night, despite her need to double-check his findings this morning, even though he infuriated her, she did respect him. For what he'd gone through and how he'd moved on from it. For how he took advantage of what he had been through and used it today. For how smart and quick and capable he was and how he clearly knew how to fix a satphone charger. Still, he was too handsome for his own good and so goddamn good in bed she could still feel him between her legs, and she did not like that.

Glaring at the back of his head, she unlocked her phone. There was indeed no reception, so she grabbed one piece of jerky to chew on while she walked around trying to fill some bars in the top corner icon.

It didn't take her long to have reached every corner of the cabin without having found any signal. She had even tried opening the front door. Thankfully, or maybe not, the snow was packed so hard it didn't fall in on her, but it did nothing to help her phone connect to a cell tower.

"I think the snowstorm might have taken out the nearest towers," she said and slammed the door shut.

"Doesn't matter, because I've got the satphone charging," Bucky said distractedly. "It's searching for a satellite right now."

"Oh good." She walked over and looked down over the back of the couch to the phone in his hands. "We need someone to dig us out, or heaven knows how long we'll be stuck in here."

"Aaaand there's our GPS position, and I'm sending it to F.R.I.D.A.Y. and..." He was typing something real fast, and again she was impressed with his way around modern technology with the speed he was typing. "And she's sending someone to get us out right now. I said it was urgent."

"Good."

"Now we wait."

An awkward silence filled the cabin. The prospect of waiting for possibly hours, had the tension growing. It wasn't exactly a vacation cabin, there was no TV, no books, no games, nothing to pass the time. And since there was no cell reception, there was no streaming or even reading the news either.

She went back to the counter to finish off her coffee, thankful for that keeping her busy for a while, it was still hot enough she could only sip at it. Then she decided to head back into the bedroom to disassemble and reassemble her weapons. But before she got halfway across the floor, Bucky apparently couldn't take the silence anymore.

"About last night," he started.

She stopped short and pulled a face. "Please don't, Barnes."

"Please don't what?"

"Just... Don't."

He stood up and faced her, but she didn't look at him. "Want me to pretend it didn't happen?"

She crossed her arms across her chest defensively and opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't make herself say yes.

"Despite what my behaviour last night says about me, I don't just sleep around for the fun of it. I don't just... Not without... It's been just..." Bucky seemed to be struggling to find the words now. She glanced over at him and saw that he was blushing furiously before sitting down again.

"I don't think that," she found herself reassuring him.

"Good. Because I don't."

Silence filled the cabin again, and she was suddenly hearing the words Bucky hadn't said. She uncrossed her arms and rested her hands on her weapons belt. "I don't either."

Bucky turned around and met her eyes. They stared at each other for what felt like ages, almost daring the other to actually say out loud the words they both realised was true.

"Doll..." Bucky stood up and she took a step backwards, shaking her head slightly. Hurt flashed across his face. "Are you afraid of me? Did I do something wrong? Is that why you're always so angry when I'm around?" She shook her head again and Bucky took a step towards her. She didn't back up this time.

"I'm... I don't know." She screwed her eyes shut, crossing her arms again. From the moment Steve introduced him to the team she had been attracted to him, he had that tall, dark, handsome going for him. But there had been something in his eyes that drew her in more than anything. A flash of softness or kindness or... something, every now and then. Such a contrast to the strength and fearlessness and deadliness he showed when he sparred with Steve or was on a mission. He'd been through so much, but instead of letting it destroy him, he used everything that had made him a deadly assassin and turned it into this force of good.

"Doll... I didn't know?"

She snapped her eyes open, confusion written all over her face. The softness was back in his eyes and she cocked her head, looking at him. "What?"

"I didn't know you felt that way about me."

"I said that out loud?"

"You did... But why..." He took another step closer.

Embarrassment burned her skin, but there was no taking it back. Might as well dive into it. "Why have I behaved like I feel the opposite?"

Bucky nodded.

"Good question." She paused for a moment, chewed the inside of her lip, looking him straight in the eye. "I wasn't planning on falling for anyone. Didn't want to. At least not someone I work so closely with. It's a recipe for disaster in our line of work. And I knew from the start that I would fall for you, you ticked every box. So, I tried hard not to." She sighed. "I failed."

"You've fallen for me?"

She shrugged, but nodded and bit her lip again. "I failed at not falling for you and in my attempt to stay professional and keep my distance, I made you think I hated you."

"I never thought you hated me," Bucky said hurriedly, shaking his head. "Disliked, yes. Hated, no. But I haven't exactly been on my best behaviour either."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a lot of luggage. Most people don't exactly see past my... well, past. But Steve did without question. And then Sam followed. And then everyone else. But it seemed like you didn't. So I closed myself down with you. I think maybe I was a little scared of the same things as you." Bucky took a step closer and if he reached out, he could touch her now. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

For a moment, they stared at each other, the air between them thick with emotion. And then, at the same time, they closed the distance. Arms went around the other, lips crashed, bodies pressed against each other. It was just as explosive as the night before, if not more. There was nothing in them holding back anymore. Last night had been almost business-like, just a reaction to different opinions and days and days of hard work and ages of repressed emotions reaching the end of the tether.

She ran her hands through Bucky's hair, revelling in the moan he made as her nails scraped lightly at his scalp. He needed to wash his hair, but she didn't care. She was no better, and he obviously didn't mind days of mission sticking to her skin as he kissed a trail down her chin to her neck. She threw her head back, giving him access and he tasted every inch of skin not covered by her thermal shirt. He kept tugging it down.

"Don't tear it," she said breathlessly, tugging lightly at his hair to warn him.

"Then get it off," he murmured against her skin.

Very reluctantly, she disentangled herself from him, already missing the warmth he radiated and the feel of him against her. Not helped by the whine he made from the loss of her in his arms and his almost stumble after her. She reached down and swiftly pulled the shirt off her head, dropping it to the floor. She took a few steps backwards, towards the bedroom, and nodded towards him. Bucky caught her meaning and tore off his own shirt.

Slowly moving towards and into the bedroom, clothes were shed, leaving a trail, but no furniture was destroyed this time. She had only her sensible black mission bra and underwear left when Bucky slowed down and stared as if hypnotized as she unclasped the bra behind her, let the straps fall from her shoulders, her arms keeping it in place. Then, it fell to the ground. Sure, he had seen her naked the previous night, but Bucky hadn't allowed himself to look then. He did now, etching every curve and line and scar and freckle into memory as he walked slowly towards her.

She tried to not feel self-conscious and managed for a few seconds, but then she felt heat bloom inside her and she looked down at her feet, arms folding across her chest. The way he was behaving and the way he was looking at her was so different from what she was used to, it was making all kinds of feelings bubble up inside her. Bucky shook his head and closed the distance.

She looked up at him.

"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he said and weaved his fingers through her hair and ghosted his lips to hers before pulling back just enough to whisper against her lips. "I could stare at you forever, doll." Her arms immediately went up around his shoulders and she pressed her lips to his. He closed the space between them, let her feel how much he enjoyed the view of her. She moaned against him, pressing her hips against his and pulled him back towards the bed, teeth clashing, until she bumped her legs against the edge of it and lost her balance. Bucky tried to steady her with his arms around her waist, but she toppled backwards pulling him with her. He managed to brace himself so he didn't knock the wind out of her, and rolled to the side, chuckling.

"Sorry," she said.

But he just shook his head and went for her lips again. He just couldn't keep off her, now that he knew what kissing her properly was like, knew that she felt for him the same way he felt for her. Knew that both their hostility had been just a protective wall they had put up.

In a tangle of arms and legs, they scrambled up the bed. Bucky hovered above her, kissing down her neck, until she spread her legs, laid them around his waist and pulled him down. She gasped at just how hard he was already and how warm everything suddenly became, and began grinding against him. Bucky faltered a little, closing his eyes. Even if it had been less than twenty-four hours since they'd had sex, it didn't feel the same at all. He was sure he was going to come in seconds if she didn't stop already, and no matter how good that would feel right now, he did not want that embarrassment hanging over his head.

"You gotta stop doing that, sweetheart," he whispered against her shoulder. She halted immediately, pulling away slightly, but before she could even ask, he raised his head to look down at her. "You're going to make me come."

Heat flashed across her face, but she pushed her hips up, moving slowly against him. "Get my less than sexy practical underwear off then, so we can do it right."

Bucky's eyes flashed with hunger as he nearly ripped it off and made quick work of his own. "I'll do you right."

Steve and Natasha sat warm and snug in the Quinjet, surveying the very white landscape. A few pine trees were the only colour breaking up the blinding white. That and the suit they had borrowed from Tony to melt the snow around the cabin their friends were stuck in.

"I'm so glad we don't have to dig them out," Natasha commented.

"Yeah," Steve agreed. "It has been a real big avalanche."

"We would have been shovelling for days..."

The repulsors were doing a quick job of it, melting everything to water and then steam. They didn't want to flood the cabin. It almost looked like the cabin was on fire.

But a few minutes later, the suit lowered its arms and turned around to face the Quinjet, awaiting orders.

Steve pressed his earpiece. "You can come back in, thank you."

"I'll never get over how you speak to them like they're sentient." Natasha grinned at him, before hitting the button to open the hatch and let the suit in.

"They're just a brain cell away, and they do behave eerily lifelike." He stood up and pulled on a pair of gloves and donned the shield.

"What do you need that for?"

"I'm surprised they're not out already. They must have noticed the snow melting away. So... Just in case."

She considered him and then activated her Bites.

They jumped out of the Quinjet and approached the cabin a bit cautiously and then stopped by the front door. Steve cocked his head to try to listen.

"It's quiet inside."

"I'd expect them to be at each other's throats by now, having been cooped up together for so long." Natasha got the door unlocked and glanced at Steve. He grabbed the shield and held it in front of him, then nodded. Natasha wrenched the door open and Steve jumped in front and took one large step over the threshold, taking in the room.

Nothing. No one.

He stepped further in, Natasha following. "Where the hell are they?"

They both surveyed the room, taking in every detail. A strange noise came from behind the only other door in the cabin and Natasha nodded towards it. Again, Steve held the shield up and Natasha wrenched the door open. Steve then jumped into the opening, stood frozen for one single second, shouted "MY EYES" and scrambled away with his eyes screwed shut.

"What the hell?" someone said from inside.

Natasha poked her head past the door and looked inside, and what she saw made a huge grin spread across her lips.

On the bed, were two obviously naked people who had just scrambled apart, Bucky frantically trying to pull a blanket up to cover them. Skin glistening, bushy hair, puffy lips, there was no doubt to what Natasha and Steve had just interrupted.

"Guess it wasn't such a hurry after all," Natasha said, trying hard not to laugh. "Get dressed." And she closed the door, laughing.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes smut #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan smut #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes x you #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x oc #sebastian stan x you

[legendofzelda4life]

Arson Gone Wrong

Day five (cbf writing the whole thing, ya’ll know the drill)

I’ve rewritten this twice now. My computer keeps glitching out and I lose all the work *cries*

This is a Wild and Hyrule platonic angst.

I hope you guys like it!

Also, should I start putting descriptions up here?

TW: blood, injuries, major character death

-------------------------------

“Oi, Hy!” Wild yelled out, running into camp carrying various fire-based weapons in his arms.

They were currently in Wild’s Hyrule.

Y’know, free-real-estate-arson-edition.

“I’m not even gonna ask.” Time said from where he sat across the camp with Twilight and Sky. Hyrule chuckled. The old man is really done with our bullshit.

“What are those?” Hyrule asked, looking at Wild. (theyre my sandals) Wild grinned happily and dropped all the weapons on the ground. “Okay so we have meteor rods, flame blades, great flame blades, fire rods, flame spears, fire arrows, and, most importantly, bomb arrows.” Wild said, gesturing to each object.

“Arson?” Hyrule asked with a smirk. “What else?” Wild replied sarcastically before taking off his shirt. “Let’s go!” He grabbed a bow, shield, and some of the weapons before running away.

This boy and doing arson shirtless.

Hyrule swears he’s gonna get himself killed.

They were in the Akkala region so if they went to far west, they’d burn.

Somehow they ended up north of skull lake pretty quickly. They had started at Tumlea heights.

“Hy, look! This is skull lake. If you fall down here, it’s damn near impossible to climb back up.” Wild said, looking over the edge to see the lake. He turned to his left to see Hyrule looking over as well.

(it kept deleting here so the rest was new for me to write)

“How deep is the water?” He asked. “Deep.” Wild said before standing up. He took out a shield and turned around.

“Watch this.”

He backflipped off the ledge and fell.

But he left the paraglider at camp.

Hyrule heard a sickening thud as the boy hit a rocky out-crop. The rocks there were stained red.

“Shit! Wild! Fuck dammit!” Nobody ever heard Hyrule swear before but he just watched his best. Friend. Get badly hurt.

He watched as Wild rolled along the rocks before falling with a splash in the water. Hyrule watched as Wild sunk slowly.

Almost painfully slow.

Hyrule knew he couldn’t jump past the rocks so he grabbed two swords.

Wild taught him a trick; you try to throw a weapon as you fall but just before you hit the ground, swap weapons and it will cancel out the pain.

Hyrule heaved a deep breath...

And jumped.

He quickly switched weapons before he hit the rocks.

It worked!

He then jumped into the water.

He wasn’t the best swimmer. But he could manage well enough to get a hold of Wild and the slate.

“Goddesses I hate doing this.” Hyrule thought as he selected the Akkala ancient tech lab. It was the closest he’d get to the group.

He felt a familiar sick feeling in his stomach as the two boys teleported.

They were at the tech lab.

Hyrule felt for Wild’s breathing and heart.

He was taking soft, shallow breaths and a faint heart beat.

Hyrule pulled out a bow, an arrow, and some paper before quickly writing on it.

Wild. Hurt. Ancient tech lab. Quick.

He put the note on an arrow and ran to the edge of the cliff facing Tumlea heights.

He knocked the arrow, aiming for a tree next to Twilight.

And released it.

Once he saw the arrow hit its mark, he ran back to Wild and picked him up.

“C’mon buddy, you gotta hold on for me. My magic doesn’t work here so I can’t help you.” He said as he carried Wild bridal style down the hill, walking to camp.

He continuously checked up on Wild.

Heart beat. Breathing. Heart beat. Breathing. Heart beat. Breath... ing? Silence.

“Shit, fuck. Wild no. No you can’t do this to me!” Hyrule screamed.

He dropped to his knees, hugging Wild close.

“Please Wild. Please don’t leave me.” He sobbed into Wild’s shirt.

Well, it was actually Hyrule’s but he put it on Wild after they got to the lab.

“I can’t lose you...” He looked at his best friend, brushing the blonde hair out of his face.

“HYRULE!” He looked up to see Twilight and Legend.

He ignored them.

Wild can’t be dead.

He just can’t.

He listened for breathing again.

Nothing.

Heart beat?

Nothing.

He felt his own heart shatter.

“Wild.” He sobbed.

Twilight placed a hand on his shoulder and Hyrule pulled away.

“It’s my fault Twi.” He cried. “I shouldn’t’ve let him leave without his glider- actually no. I shouldn’t’ve agreed to go. He would’ve stayed Twi.” Hyrule’s face was now stained with tears as they continued.

Twilight gripped the traveller in a hug. “It’s not your fault.” He said.

Hyrule heard the familiar sound of a fairy and looked up only to see it shake its head and leave.

“Hyrule I’m sorry.” Legend said. He didn’t join the hug, just stood to the side awkwardly.

Hyrule shrugged out of Twilight’s grip.

“It’s not your fault.” He said to the veteran. “If only my magic worked, I could’ve healed him.” Hyrule looked at his hands. He felt so...

Useless.

“Go back to camp.” He said, not looking at the other two. Without a word, they left.

Then Hyrule broke down.

“Wild. I’m sorry. Goddesses I wish I could say it to your face.” He said, still looking at Wild’s body.

“Why did I have to lose you?” He asked, clutching Wild’s hand.

I dont have the strength to write a burial so timeskip

It had been only a few days since Wild died and Hyrule wasn’t well...

Hyrule.

He’d usually crack jokes with the boys, laugh about embarrassing stuff at dinner, jump to the opportunity to commit arson.

But now...

He sat in bed all day, holding the Shiekah Slate to his chest. He barely reacted anymore and just seemed lifeless.

They eventually had to keep travelling but even then, Hyrule wasn’t the same.

Nobody was.

But Hyrule was affected the most.

He scrolled through the slate’s camera roll, looking at photos of Wild doing... Wild things.

He found a video and decided to open it.

“Hey, I assume Hy is watching this. If you are, I’m probably dead.” Wild chuckled. “Lemme guess, arson gone wrong?”

Hyrule laughed softly, tears forming in his eyes.

It felt so good to hear Wild’s voice again.

“Hyrule I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to die. You were my best friend. I don’t know what I’d do without you so I don’t expect you to know either.” Wild spoke. “Don’t blame yourself. I’ve blamed myself for deaths, it doesn’t feel good. P-promise me Hy.”

Wild got choked up.

He breathed deeply.

“Promise, you’ll be happy without me. Please. I miss you.”

Hyrule broke down in tears.

He missed Wild too.

END

--------------------------------

I’M SORRY! 

I started crying when Wild died. This was so difficult to write.

In the og idea, Hyrule was going to kill Wild by accident but I changed my mind lol.

I hope you guys enjoyed and I’m sorry if you cried even half as much as me.

Also I tested the death with 14 hearts. Idk if he would live with all 30

LEAVE REQUESTS BELOW!

REQUETS MUST INCLUDE: PAIRING TYPE/GENRE/CATEGORY (fluff, angst, etc) PLATONIC OR NOT

I WILL WRITE ONLY ABOUT THE LINKS (including the ravio, shadow, and requested characters. Will not write about whole other fandoms though)

I CAN DO READER INSERTS IF REQUESTED (no oc’s tho)

#wild linked universe #hyrule linked universe #time linked universe #twilight linked universe #wind linked universe #sky linked universe #legend linked universe #warriors linked universe #four linked universe #linked universe #when i tell you i cried

[slightlyaggressiveaffirmations]

(0% trying to be rude but i have problems with tone sometimes so i hope it doesn't come off that way) ok so like, ive been hearing the terms nonbinary man/woman more and more lately and it upsets me bc im just nb and it feels like now that thats such a thing even when people know im nb theyll still think im one of the two? like theyre not doing anything wrong they can be who they are but ive used this term for years and now it seems to give people the exact opposite impression of what i mean...

Hi Anon Frond!

I couldn’t figure out a way to write an affirmation for this but let me respond with: 

YOUR FEELINGS ARE 9000% VALID AND I TOTALLY FUCKING GET WHY YOU FEEL LIKE THIS!!!

Also, you aren’t rude at all. (You should see some of the messages I get. Damn...) I can’t understand what it’s like to be nonbinary, of course, but I absolutely relate to the feeling that even though other people aren’t doing anything wrong by living their best life and going through the world authentically, it still affects you in a negative way.

I wish I could give you better advice. This seems like a really difficult dilemma, and I hope I’m understanding it correctly: Acknowledging the authenticity of nonbinary men and women without giving the impression that all nonbinary people also use “man” or “woman”. I think this is one that I’m going to have to throw to the community. Does anyone have any thoughts? Any Gender Studies folk out there?

For the time being, I can tell you three absolute definite things:

1. YOU ARE WHATEVER GENDER YOU SAY YOU ARE AND NOTHING ALTERS THAT!!!

2. Your feelings are absolutely valid and you have the right to feel them.

3. It’s always OK to correct people. About your gender or your pronouns. Saying “actually I use they/them” (or whatever pronouns you use) is always acceptable. You are NOT being annoying, unreasonable, inconvenient, frustrating, petty or anything else. If other people think you are those things that is because THEY are inconsiderate, rude, insensitive people, and that is a THEM problem. Not a YOU problem. Would it be OK for them to get your name wrong? NO! So it’s not OK to get your pronouns wrong.

3b. I know it’s fucking frustrating, but it’s also fine to set people straight. “I know that some people say they’re a nonbinary man, but I’m just nonbinary and my pronouns are...” You can say that. Ask friends and family to take some of that emotional labour off your hands. Ask them to correct people who get your gender or pronouns wrong when you aren’t even around. Your gender doesn’t change just because you aren’t there and ignorant people need the reinforcement.

I really hope points 1-3 can be at least some help to your awesome nonbinary self. If there’s anyone else with any thoughts, I invite them to comment or reblog - we’ve had some solid community input lately, which has been fucking awesome. Keep it up, squad!!!

- The Slightly Aggressive Affirmer

#acknowledge ALL the genders #slightly aggressive advice #Anonymous

[malandi]

Self insert in interests time ^__^ I wrote about me and my siblings (mp100 fans gang) when we were at 14 years old and ranked which of the kids we'd be closest to and why! It's so interesting and fun to do this. I encourage u guys to try it out.

Results without analysis are:

Me: 1) Shou 2) Tome = Teru 3) Mob 4) Tsubomi 5) Ritsu

For context I was an autistic kid who got grouped with the pretty dancer girls regularly slutshamed by nuns who ran our school

My little sister: 1) Ritsu 2) Shou 3) Tsubomi 4) Mob 5) Tome 6) Teru

For context she's an overachiever and student leader, artist and athlete (undisputed arm wrestling champ, has abs). She fucking hates everyone but is fake about it. She's very petty and is out for blood regularly

My older sibling: 1) Mob 2) Ritsu 3) Tsubomi, Shou 4) Teru 5) Tome

For context they also hate everyone but they don't try to hide it. Judgmental and mean for fun. Well known for artistic skills and attractive face. Loner by choice. People are very scared of them and they enjoy that

Me at 14 y/o

Childlike. I had a slow maturity

Socially unaware, had difficulty reading social cues and realizing high school popularity politics

Friends with everyone because I didn't judge anyone

Tactless which is a double edged sword. I praised people as easily as I insulted them. Both of those were unintentional

default friend group: pretty dancer girls who nuns hated and thought of as dumb whores destined to be tumors in society

My friendship rankings:

Shou - most of my closest friends were the mature, responsible types who were very proactive. Yes athletic too (they play diff sports tho) but that's irrelevant. By "proactive" I mean they were always making plans and carrying them out. We went on a hunt for the best cheesecake in our town, for example. I felt closest to them because they treated me like an equal despite being slower than most of our peers. They listened to what I had to say even if I didn't make sense most of the time. THEYRE AWESOME! I LOVE YOU *** AND **** AND *** AND THE REST OF YOU❗❗

Tome = Teru - I always love and appreciate people who speak their minds. I struggled a lot with reading social cues. I still do but it was like hell when I was a kid, it drove me to tears. Tome and Teru being an open book would make me feel so comfortable with them. Since I'm as honest and tactless as they are I think we'll get along. We also have similar interests! Tome and I like games. Teru also has self-absorbed tendencies lol and I enjoy it when people like themselves so I'd have fun hyping him up when he does that.

Mob - I would feel very comfortable with Mob because of his maturity and kindness but I had insecurity when I was 14 and I would feel too dumb to spend time with him. He'd be someone I admired from afar. If we're talking about present me however, Mob would definitely be number one! Except I don't really hang out with kids which is why I aged myself down to 14 for this list.

Tsubomi - She'd be the one I spend the most time with since I was in the popular girls clique. I loved my friends very much and they took care of me. But I didn't feel like their equal. They were mature, talking about adult and scary occult stuff, so I always felt left behind. I would love Tsubomi too but I wouldn't feel comfortable with her, I'd feel like I'm too immature to keep her company.

Ritsu - Next to Tsubomi, he's the one I'd spend the most time with since I was always doing student leader responsibilities because my friends won't stop fucking voting for me! I had a civil and friendly relationship with the other student leaders but we always returned to our respective friend groups after our duties. I wouldn't be able to sense his fakeness so I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with him but he wouldn't cross my mind either.

My little sister at 14 y/o

One of the physically strongest in her batch (undisputed arm wrestling champion, volleyball spike of death)

Fake as fuck. Hates nearly everyone in her school but gets along with them to make life easier

Overachiever. Always on the honor roll as well as being artistic, athletic and a student leader. Loves every second of it

Petty. Eats jealous schoolmates for breakfast. Never forgets when someone wrongs her. Always out for blood

No such thing as freeloaders when you're in her group.

Lots of boys have crushes on her. Has them all ignored on messenger

Her friendship ranking:

Ritsu - She might relate more to Tsubomi but Tsubomi doesn't have the appropriate amount of bitterness and rage that would entice her. She would love to hang out with a fellow overachiever who is fake and hates everyone. Her need for trashtalking is insatiable. It would also do good for Ritsu to let off some steam by venting to her.

Shou - She'd fucking love Shou. Aside from their very similar interests, she always itches for competition as long as its respectful. She also appreciates people who don't hesitate like she does. When her peers act too pussy (her words) it just annoys her. She'd prefer the type of people who can make up their minds. She appreciates more people who flat out reject her invites instead of dancing around a decision for a week. Only problem is if Shou acts too clingy to her, she'd block his ass. Him being clingy is understandable bc of his fucked up childhood but also my little sister is also a kid who values her boundaries.

Tsubomi - my sister won't like how nice Tsubomi is but she'd respect it. Probably. She would definitely encourage her to go batshit. She's also down to bully relentless admirers for her. They have a lot in common so my sister would understand her situation better than most people and would try to help her out but only as much as tsubomi would let her.

Mob - She'd like mob a lot because he's genuine. She has a classmate she's very fond of who is very much like mob before he matured. She's always encouraging and supporting that kid. When she was president she rallied for the kid to be vice president and when he won, he took his position way too seriously which delighted her. She really likes humble, genuine people but i dont see her relying on him for anything which is why I don't think they'd be very close.

Tome - Tome is a slacker so she won't even register on my sister's social circle. If they became groupmates and Tome slacked off, they'd fucking fight for sure. But Tome still gets point for respect since she's strong-willed and speaks her mind.

Teru - honestly my sister is a judgmental bitch and if she sees how flashy and egoistic teru is she'd avoid him like the plague. When she gets to know him she'd be proven wrong of course but she doesn't really make an effort to get close to people she wasn't already close with since she met them

My older sibling at 14 y/o

Very mature and wise, very artistic, well-known for their talents

Also fucking hates everyone but doesn't try to hide it

Judgmental and mean for fun

Popular girls were scared shitless of them. Idk wtf they did

Ton of people crushed on them but were too scared to make a move. Sometimes I'd let them know and they'd only smirk

There was legitimately no one in middle school they liked. Up until high school and college too except for their girlfriend

Their friendship ranking:

Mob - no question. They like quiet and sincerity.

Ritsu - same reason as my little sister. He's quiet too which is a bonus

Shou, tsubomi - they'd have no opinion on them

Teru - they'd probably bully him ngl

Tome - they hate loud people

They honestly don't think of people unless it's too judge them so it's very short.

#ᜇᜎ᜔ᜇᜎ᜔

[the-angry-pixie]

camboy AU... but make it romantic

Camboy Bill AU feat. the OT7.

- basic stuff really

- Bill is a camboy (billoncam) on those websites that I don’t know enough about to be able to give a name.

- and he does sessions every few days in private chatrooms

- mostly solo stuff - either a vibrator or dildo in his ass whilst jacking it to the camera

- his fans love him because he is really chatty and responsive. and when he gets really turned on, he stutters. he always moans and thanks the person when someone sends him a tip - its like the tip button is directly connected to his vibrator, the way he moans every time it *dings*

- he has regulars. people who always seem to tune in and leave lots of tips. he comes to recognise their usernames.

- “welcome mikey-mike. i hope you’re having a good week.”

- “its good to see you again bigdickrich, what filthy things are you gonna say to me today?”

- stuff like that.

- he holds competitions among viewers - whoever gives him the most tips in a session gets to choose a name for him to call out when he cums

- as a result billoncam ends up moaning out “oh fuck carsforeddie! oh fuck you feel so good carsforeddie! oh fuck OH FUCK!” a lot.

- like previously stated, he’s known for his highly interactive solo stuff but every now and then his audience gets a guest appearance from other people. it always seems to be the same guys but we never get to see their faces 

- one has lovely golden skin that matches his golden curls that Bill loves to grab onto when he’s fucking him

- the other is this buff dude with dark blonde body hair that makes the most delicious sounds when he’s railing Bill

- thats right, billoncam be versatile as fuck

- even more versatile than first anticipated because one time during a session Bill is holding a photo on his phone up to show the camera and he accidentally swipes to the next photo which is of some redhead woman lying on a bed in lingerie

- the comment section goes wild and Bill is like “oh fuck, oh fuck you weren’t meant to see that, ah ha ha ha lets forget that happened pls” and he goes on with the session. trying to ignore all the questions hounding him about who the fuck that was and why was she on his bed??

- two days later when billoncam is next scheduled to cam it is immediately obvious that things are very different when the session starts on a shot of Bill sitting fully-clothed talking straight to camera

- “thanks for tuning in everyone. I just felt I wanted to do something a bit different today. There’s been lots of discussion and questions about what happened the other day and I’ve thought about it a lot and have decided that I would like to be honest with you. This is a part of who I am and I don’t want to feel ashamed of that. So the truth is... I’m bisexual. And this...”

- Bill holds up his phone showing a photo of Bill and the redhead from the lingerie photo hugging each other and smiling giddily at the camera

- “... this is Bev. She’s my girlfriend.”

- again, the comment section goes wild. Obviously Bill has been camming himself on a website for gay men and well... gays can still be mean and weird sometimes when it comes to bisexuality.

- “I know. I know. It’s not what you’ve come to expect from me. I’m sorry if you’re offended or something. Well actually I’m not sorry at all. I would never be sorry for being in love with Bev. She’s my rock. We’ve been together for so long and she means the world to me. And the only reason I’m showing her face on here is because she’s given me full permission. In fact she has her own camming channel. Which I can link you to if there are any fellow bi’s out there.”

- Because the internet is the internet, Bill notices he’s losing viewers quickly, but he’s kind of happy to note that some of his regulars are among the ones being super supportive

- sitonthis: you’re not really gay. get the fuckk outta here!

mikey-mike: thanks for being honest with us Bill. I’m bi too and some people on here need to be quiet and stop being rude.

erotic-cum-on-my-hole: where’s the dick??

bigdickrich: daaaaaaaaaaamn Bill. she’s fuckign hot! gimme dat link please >______>

br000ny: sick of these bi s trickin on us. im out.

carsforeddie: YO EVERYONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE BILL ALOONE!@! WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE BILL?! HE’S FUCKING GORGEOUS AND PERFECT!! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU ALL NEED TO MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT THE FUCK NNOW!!e@!

- but it doesn’t stop there. Bill has more to tell. He doesn’t get naked at all that session. But he does come clean about being polyamorous. Apparently Bill and Bev were together for years before she started dating Ben. Who then eventually started dating Bill as well (mystery solved on who buff dude is). And then a little while after that Bill started dating Stan who also began dating everyone else eventually (mystery number two solved on who golden curls is)

- of course to respect privacy Bill doesn’t give names or photos for those two (they’re not into camming and only ever fuck Bill on cam as a favour cause they know Bill loves it so much). But he does wax poetic for a further half an hour on just how much he loves all his partners and then unexpectedly signs off.

- billoncam disappears for awhile. his sessions just suddenly stop. his fans reckon its probably got to do with the negative response he got to coming out as bi. 

- they try to reach out to him on his social media but never with any luck. its funny, billoncam’s sessions have weirdly become a bit of community thing. its strange. the regulars all kind of know each other and it feels wrong to not be coming all together (pun not intended) a few times a week on Bill’s channel. but whatever, it doesn’t matter anymore because it seems billoncam is no more. he’s been scared away.

- struggling radio personality Richie Tozier is definitely not expecting to run into Bill aka. billoncam in a random Los Angeles Starbucks one day. But he does. Thats him. That’s totally fucking him. The only way Richie could be more sure is if Bill whipped his junk out in the middle of this cafe.

- Richie is so stunned he can’t even think what to say. How to approach this guy that he has been jacking off to for the last year or so. 

- He ends up chasing Bill down the street and kind of pouncing on him. 

- Bill is understandably wary at first. But of course he’s kind of charmed by this nervous motormouth with his ridiculously syrupy-looking frappuccino concoction. Its strange how familiar he seems. He almost whispers the name to himself just as Richie practically yells “Oh by the way. I’m bigdickrich. Did I mention that? I might have forgotten to mention that. Fuck!”

- And well, a week or two later... billoncam makes a comeback suddenly.

- And he’s got a companion. A companion who is showing his face. Bill’s regulars know they definitely haven’t seen this guy (or his body) before but they don’t mind at all since the session is so much more intense because they can see both participants for once. And this new guy is very cute. In a hairy, gangly, bedraggled kind of way.

- Bill introduces the guy as his new friend. He says his new friend convinced him to come back online. And his new friend even gave permission for their first time together to be filmed live.

- New Friend’s eyebrows wiggle at the camera behind his thick dark-framed glasses

- this sends a thrill through the audience obviously. such an intimate thing that theyre witnessing. New Friend doesnt seem to mind though. In fact he seems to lap up the attention and is very willing to take suggestions from the audience of just what he should do to Bill. 

- the vibrator and dildo remain untouched on the bed that day. 

- and its right at the end, still panting and sweating and coming down from their highs that Bill mentions that his New Friend is a previous audience member.

- “some of you might recognise the username. This is bigdickrich. Sooo... I guess we now know he wasn’t exaggerating with that name ha ha” to which Richie just grins at the camera holding his hands up under his chin.

- the comment section goes BONKERS!

- carsforeddie: THAT ANNOYING CRUDE SON OF A BITCH!! WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THE UNIVERSE SO UNFAIR! FUCK!”

mikey-mike: good for you bigdickrich. you’re a real lucky guy. 

twinksfordays: i want to choke on bigdickrich’s cock

carsforeddie: HOW?! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! EW I JUST JACKED IT TO THAT ASSHOLE! FUCK I NEED TO SHOWER”

- Bill and Richie giggle and converse with the commenters for awhile and then sign off.

- billoncam returns to regularly camming again. much the way he was before. mostly solo. though sometimes with guest stars. and Richie becomes a more and more frequent feature. He’s the only one (besides Bev popping in now and then) who shows his face.

- and then, billoncam hits 100,000 subscribers

- and Bill. Well he has to make it special right? So he auctions himself off. There has to be some careful wording and labelling so that he can’t be done for prostitution but... essentially Bill auctions off the chance for him to travel and spend the night with the highest bidder.

- of course carsforeddie is not going to let this opportunity slide by him. He’s a successful businessman. He might only be 25 but he’s got money to burn and he’s been loving lusting after billoncam for a LONG TIME

- its undisclosed just how much Eddie Kaspbrak, luxury car rental business owner ends up paying for billoncam to fly to New York and spend the night with him - for legal reasons obviously. And no, Eddie does not give permission for the deed to be filmed.

- But! Its perfectly legal to say that the 2nd time Bill fucks Eddie - the 3rd, the 4th, the 5th and the 6th and all the times that follow - are done completely for free!

- Ben jokes to Richie privately about them going to need to move into a bigger house if Bill keeps adding people to this relationship.

- It becomes less of a joke and more of a reality as Eddie moves permanently to Los Angeles 6 months (and lots of trips to LA) later.

- And thats it. Theyre nearly there. There’s just one more thing missing. One more piece to the puzzle. Bill doesn’t know why he feels this way. He just does.

- Luckily Mike Hanlon (aka as mikey-mike) has been unknowingly working away on this very thing for months. Not that he would have dared to assume that anything would happen when he slid into billoncam’s DM’s 18 months ago.

- He’s just a country boy from bumfuck nowhere. There’s no reality in this universe where he and the likes of billoncam would ever cross paths. But he enjoys talking to him. They have a lot of laughs. And Bill is surprisingly sweet and very well spoken. They like a lot of the same things. The same literature, the same sports teams. Bill is always asking after the animals on Mike’s family’s farm. Mike wishes he could get to know him better. 

- Bill wants the same thing. He’d give anything to meet the sweet-souled farmboy from Maine who brightens Bill’s day whenever he gets a new message from him. I mean, it helps that he’s also gorgeous with the most wonderful smile, but thats beside the point.

- Bill ends up putting his money where his mouth is. Just enough to buy a return plane ticket to LA, so that Mike can come visit him, and cover the cost of a hotel room (ya know, in case he doesn’t want to stay with Bill and the rest of them. Bill would never want to make him uncomfortable).

- Needless to say Mike fits right into the family almost immediately. 

- its a couple of months later and billoncam still exists, but its like a relic now. Bill pours all his creative energy into his new channel “the-lucky-seven”. Its a channel shared by everyone and its outrageously popular. Sure there are still a few individuals who are too shy or anxious to show their faces but the audience doesn’t seem to care. There’s so much variety to be found on the channel. Different combinations of people doing a live cam nearly every second day. 

- they’re all unapologetic, they all love each other, and they don’t mind sharing it with the world. 

- :) :) :) :) B) :) :)

----

Did I really just write a romance story about camming? Why yes, I think I did. Ha Ha. Hope you enjoyed. :)

#sorry - you were probably expecting more smut #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #i do what i can #i was inspired and so i HCed #poly losers club #the losers club #pixie writes #pixie headcanons #IT movie #notsfw