#i knew google translate was bad but damn I could not understand the fic

[svtskneecaps]

listen in the grand scheme of things i'm glad i let myself get back into minecraft content for this. like i haven't touched a minecraft series since like 2014, on purpose, but i saw clips of qsmp in march 2023 and thought, screw it. maybe it's time. and i don't regret it yknow? i saw multilingual server and thought 'that looks AWESOME' and it certainly didn't disappoint. my only regret is that everything went crazy and people logged off RIGHT when everyone finally started relying on the live translations more, which was something i've been dreaming of for months lmfao. all in all, just happy to be here. this stuff gave me new reasons to use my blog.

hell if this is actually an end or even just a pause maybe i can FINALLY write my FUCKING TIME LOOP FIC JESUS FUCKING I'VE BEEN COOKING THAT STUPID FUCKING THING SINCE LIKE MAY LIKE I WAS ON THE FUCKING FIELD AT MY COLLEGE GRADUATION CEREMONY WAITING TO WALK THE STAGE AND GET MY DIPLOMA AND I WAS WRITING THE FIRST STUPID CHAPTER OF IT LIKE GENUINELY BUT I PUT IT ON HOLD BC THINGS KEPT HAPPENING AND I WAS LIKE I SHOULD UNDERSTAND THE BIG PICTURE SO I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY WITH IT PROPERLY BC THE MOST FUN I HAVE WITH TIME LOOP AUS COMES FROM KNOWING EVERYTHING AND MESSING WITH HOW SIMPLE ACTIONS CAN ALTER THE PROGRESSION OF EVENTS AND CHANGE CHARACTER CHOICES LOGICALLY BC THAT STUFF'S COOL BUT I DIDN'T KNOW LIKE THE MYSTERY OF THE FEDERATION OR WHATEVER AND I WANTED TO SEE WHERE THAT WAS GOING SO I COULD SEE WHETHER I WANTED TO TOSS IT OR ALTER IT OR KEEP IT AND SEE NOW I'LL KNOW YKNOW AND NOW I CAN JUSTIFY SHIT LIKE "OH HEY PURGATORY'S HAPPENING IN JUNE THIS TIME BC I WANT THE BREAKFAST TRIO TO EXIST FASTER AND FUCK YOU" WITHOUT IT FEELING TOO WEIRD AND ALSO STUFF LIKE CODE LORE AND ALL THIS OTHER NONSENSE LIKE DAMN WOULD BE PRETTY COOL I MEAN ONE SINGLE FUCKING INTERACTION BETWEEN SLIME AND MARIANA COULD SEND ME CAREENING DOWN A PATH PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT UNIMAGINABLE I COULD MAKE THIS FIC THAT'S BEEN SIMMERING SINCE LAST MAY A REALITY I COULD DO IT THIS COULD FIX ME. THIS COULD FIX ME

but yeah i'm glad i allowed myself to get invested in this server. i think y'all are cool, and i think the admins did amazing with everything they were given even though they shouldn't have been given it the way they were, and the ccs were cool and i'm glad everything happened yknow. maybe things will keep happening and maybe not but yknow what. i became All Powerful. i started watching as someone who knew english and some french and now i am someone who knows english (100%), slightly more french (like 70%), a workable understanding of spanish (like 40%) and a slightly less workable understanding of portuguese (like 20%) they added german to nerf me specifically. they knew i was getting too powerful. yeah, i spent some time as a kpoppie, i have a tiny miniscule understanding of korean (5%) german i have 0 experience with they added german to nerf me and then this happened to nerf me further. make no mistake they cannot stop me. i will become all powerful.

like cmon. if it ends here it was never all bad. i don't even have to use google translate to understand roier shittalking in the chat. i can just read it. i couldn't do that before :D and i can make my chilean friend keysmash bc she's not used to me knowing any spanish at all

we've grown strong over the year, haven't we? i hope we will continue to, no matter what :D

#qsmp #shut up vic #block game brainrot #yippee!! #i don't think this is a 'so long and thanks for all the fish' moment to be honest #but perhaps! #hmm i tried not to make this a goodbye post since idk the future #if any of our wonderful admins see this thank you very very much for your hard work!! #you truly made this server; its memories are all yours :D thank you for everything #long post #it was really nice to be part of an active tumblr community #i don't think i've ever been active in a fandom that was as passionate as this one #i learned a lot and i've had a lot of fun! even when it's a shitshow lmao #yea anyway lmao i should send this i think i should stop looking at it #this is long and rambly and silly sorry for the wall of text and especially the all caps part #maybe someday that fic will exist but i gotta be better Cultured yknow #accents are hard to write i must Study ✍️ perhaps i shall do MUCH vod crawling now that i'm not distracted by oodles of live content >:D #see! silver lining #IDK I NEED TO SEND THIS LOVE YOU GUYS SORRY THIS IS A MESS

[exisntidonot]

Saw a fic on ao3, t'was in chinese, and I decide that it's okay, I'll just google translate it. (There was only 26 works in the pairing and rating so I was willing to google translate it.)

Google offers to translate the page. I click on yes.

-----

First thing I see, Sonic is the main character. I am confusion. I am quite certain that this was not a crossover fic. I double check. Not a crossover fic.

- Turns out that Sonic was a mistranslation of Soundwave.

- There's a character named "Black Widow," I think google meant Airachnid. (Since a black widow is a type of spider)

- Knockout was mistranslated as Knockdown, and I will take this as proof that google ships kobd.

- There's an odd sentence:

- Judging by context on whose speaking, Shockwave was mistranslated as Sasser once.

-----

I still don't understand the fic after reading it.

#google translate fails #exisnt's rambles #I legit don't know what to say about this #i knew google translate was bad but damn I could not understand the fic #I mean i sorta did #but it was weird #ngl lie tho 'and the sound waves belly slander' has got to be the weirdest yet funniest thing i've ever heard.

[mirohlixie]

Love Talk (Hyunjin)

Hyunjin x Reader (gender-neutral) Genre: Smut, one-night-stand Words: 3.3k

Summary: Y/N accidentally bumps into a stranger in the club. The two of them have a dance-off and leave the club together. The two strangers end up sleeping with each other without even speaking the same language, or knowing each other's names.

Content Warnings: Alcohol, Marking, Oral Sex (Male Receiving), Sex.

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!Disclaimer!

I don’t know any Korean, so the Korean that appears in this fic comes from google translate and I cannot vouch for it being free of mistakes. Furthermore this fic works with the idea that Hyunjin doesn’t know any English at all. This only so that the plot fits with the song! I know reality is different, don’t worry!

It was Saturday night and this week was no different than any other week. Y/N and their friends were at the club, the one they usually went to on Saturday nights to get drunk, dance and leave with a stranger. It had become a ritual they went through every single week, and nobody was complaining so why would they leave it behind?

They walked in, wasting no time before getting on the dancefloor and dancing like there was no tomorrow. Most people were shy and only danced a little. Y/N and their group weren’t. They knew no shame and definitely were not scared to show off their moves. People often looked at them, but they didn’t mind at all. The DJ played a nice song and a lot of dancing started to occur.

After a little while Y/N heard some commotion at the entrance of the club, but they were too focused on their surroundings and the music to care enough to check what was going on. If it was of importance, it would become clear soon enough anyway.

“Look at you go,” Y/N’s friend shouted over the music. “You got moves,” Y/N smirked and moved their hips, feeling one with the music. Dancing had always been a talent of theirs and they loved being able to do it in such a casual setting without too many people giving weird looks.

After dancing for a bit, the group stumbled to the bar for a drink. It is truly like a work out. They decide on a round of shots and throw them back before getting a more substantial drink of choice. While drinking, Y/N looks around to see what the commotion earlier was about, but there’s nothing that seems to be different from the usual. They shrug it off and decide to let it go again.

The group drinks a couple more drinks before heading back to the dancefloor again with a drink in hand. The music’s gotten even better so everyone is absolutely enjoying themselves moving to the rhythm. More and more people are starting to gather on the dance floor now and it’s getting quite crowded.

That’s not going to stop Y/N though, cause they didn’t mind a few people around them when dancing. They kept swinging their hips and shaking their ass to the beat as they tried to work their way around all the other people.

Their friend smiled at them as they swung their hips in sync. Y/N did a step back to create more space between them and then saw their friend’s eyes go big, their word forming the word “watch-”, but it was already too late; Y/N had bumped into someone. They turned around and looked right into the eyes of a stranger. He looked slightly annoyed, as he eyed Y/N head to toe. He was taller than them, so his looking down at them seemed even more apparent than it was supposed to be.

“조심해!” He yelled over the music. Y/N squinted their eyes, looking at him in confusion.

“What?” They yelled back, not having understood a word he said just now. The stranger rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak again, repeating “조심해!”

“I don’t speak whatever language that is!” Y/N said. The guy looked Korean, but Y/N didn’t want to make an assumption like that.

“신경 쓰지 마,” the guy said before giving Y/N one last glare and walking back to the little group he was dancing with. They all looked really stylish and important, but Y/N had no idea what they should know them from. The gey they’d bumped into had long blond hair, reaching over his shoulders. His face seemed almost unreal, which annoyed Y/N. How could one person be so flawless? It was unfair.

He seemed to have forgotten about what had just occurred, so Y/N decided to do the same and continued dancing. They were a little more careful than before, scared to bump into someone again. As the evening progressed, more drinks were bought and consumed, and everything started to become a little fuzzy. In a good way, though. The music was more intense and the moves Y/N made even more careless and passionate. More people started to watch, but not in a bad way. They seemed generally impressed. This caught the attention from even more people, and also one person in particular.

When Y/N awoke from their daze a little and looked up, they saw the guy from earlier looking at them again. His eyes had narrowed into a glare as he eyed them up and down. He didn’t want to show it, but he was clearly impressed, if not interested. He approached Y/N as they kept dancing, sending him a challenging look. What did he want anyway? Why was he looking at them so intently?

Y/N’s friends moved aside and made way for the tall guy, which made Y/N look at them in surprise. What the hell was going on here? Then, right before they could fully process what was happening, he started to move to the music as well.

God damn, he was a great dancer. He moved to the music smoothly and moved his hips right on the beat. This wasn’t the first time he was doing it; he must’ve been a professional dancer or something like that. Y/N didn’t shy away, though. He clearly was challenging them to a dance battle, so a dance battle he would get.

The people didn’t exactly form a dance circle around them, but somehow it made Y/N think of those when they saw everyone gathering around to watch. The guy must be some kind of important person, or people wouldn’t be this invested. It was hard to believe this particular dance battle interested them all this much.

“Come on Y/N!” One of their friends cheered and Y/N saw this as a sign to give their all. As the music kept going, the two danced their hearts out. The stranger was really good, but Y/N was absolutely not giving in to that. They were determined now, even if only for the guy’s denigrating gaze. They swung their hips to the beat and made fitting movements with their arms and legs.

They were evenly matched and the crowd around them grew bigger and bigger. They were cheering for both sides, which gave Y/N new strength as the stranger stepped closer and grinded against them, throwing them off a little due to the sudden proximity. They stepped around him and gave him the same treatment, making him move his hands to their hips. They heard him take a sharp intake of breathe and smirked to themself, knowing what they were doing to him.

The music changed once again, the crowd began to dissipate as the dance fight grew less intense. Y/N only vaguely remembered this song, but they were familiar with the beat.

“You got me sayin', you got me sayin'. How you doing? Tell me what's your name, what's your sign,” the singer sung. Y/N swung their hips, slightly grinding into the stranger as he tightened his grip on them, digging his fingers into their skin.

“진정해,” the stranger spoke in their ear, making Y/N giggle softly as at the same time, the lyrics of the song were “Baby we two distant strangers. I know you don't speak my language, but I love the way she's talking to me.” It was all very convenient. Y/N turned around, pressing their chest against the stranger’s as he moved his hands to their waist. They draped their arms over his shoulders and bit their lip when they realized how close their faces were now. “I can hear it callin'. From where you are. Loving the way you wanna talk. Touch me tease me feel me up.”

“당신은 그렇게 나쁘지 않을 수도 있습니다,” the stranger said, making Y/N look at him. They shook their head and chuckled softly before answering.

“I have no idea what that meant, but I think we should kiss,” apparently the stranger could understand the word ‘kiss’, cause it only took him a split second to smash his lips on theirs. They kissed back just as eager, though, wrapping their arms around his neck. They heard whooping from their friends and stuck up their middle finger behind the stranger’s neck.

As the song progressed, the kiss became needier and more lustful. The stranger bit Y/N’s bottom lip softly and tugged on it before pulling back slightly, making them long for more.

“Wow,” Y/N whispered, a universal word the stranger knew too, as he smirked in a cocky way.

“내 집으로 돌아 갈래?” The stranger asked, making Y/N furrow their eyebrows. They really did not understand what he was saying whatsoever. The stranger squinted his eyes in thought before speaking again. “My hotel?” He repeated, in broken English now. Y/N gasped quietly and nodded, letting him take their hand as he led them out of the club. In that moment, they didn’t really care if their friends knew where they were. They’d probably assume where they went anyway.

Luckily, the hotel wasn’t too far away and when the two got to the elevator, they couldn’t manage to keep their hands off each other. When nobody else entered the small cabin, Y/N was pushed against the mirror wall. Eager lips found theirs as they made out in the fancy space. Y/N was ready to lose themselves in that kiss, but soon enough the bell rang, indicating they’d reached the floor they were supposed to be on.

Stranger dragged them out of the elevator, down the hall to his hotel room. He quickly fumbled with the keycard before opening the door and pushing Y/N against it when he’d closed it.

“나는이 일을하는 바보 야,” he muttered before connecting his lips to Y/N’s neck, immediately sucking and nibbling, creating marks that would definitely still be visible tomorrow.

“I don’t understand a fuck from what you’re saying, but it’s kinda hot,” Y/N admitted, tilting their head to the side to give the tall guy more access to their neck. He absolutely attacked it, leaving marks everywhere before moving his lips down their collarbones, stopping at the collar of the top Y/N was wearing. He looked into their eyes, asking for permission with silent words. Y/N nodded and before they could blink, the top was off and the stranger was kissing down their chest, leaving hickeys all over there too.

Many hickeys from both parties later, the stranger had somehow pinned Y/N under him on the bed. Their hands ran up and down his sides as they were entangled in another kiss. The only thing restricting them at this point, was their underwear.

His entire body looked so good under those clothes. He definitely looked trained, so the guess of him being a professional dancer hadn’t been that strange after all. All of this showed signs of years and years of intensive training. Y/N wondered how this would show in his skills in bed. He might’ve been really flexible, after all.

Y/N gently bit the stranger’s bottom lip, causing him to release a moan an be distracted for a split second. Y/N took this opportunity and pinned him under them on the bed. They left kisses down his torso, stopping at the waist band of his underwear before looking up at him.

The stranger, who was watching them as he bit his lip, nodded briefly, giving Y/N the okay. They pulled his boxers down and were immediately greeted by his large member springing up and slapping against his stomach. They gasped audibly, earning a cocky chuckle from him. They rolled their eyes and licked a strip up his shaft, eliciting a suppressed moan from his lips. He leaned his head back on the bed as they wrapped their lips around his tip, sucking playfully as his moans turned into whines and his hips bucked up.

“놀리지 마,” the stranger muttered and Y/N assumed that he didn’t wish to be teased. They giggled around him before letting their head sink down around his length. They slowly started bobbing their head, occasionally swirling their tongue around the long shaft. Stranger was evidently enjoying this, since his content moans were hard to mask. They gently grazed their teeth over his sensitive skin, making him whimper. A quick “fuck” escaped his lips, making Y/N almost jump in surprise since they weren’t used to hearing an English word from the stranger.

He began to twitch in their mouth when they hollowed their cheeks to increase the pressure and they quickly withdrew their head from his member, earning an aggravated groan from him.

“Not yet,” they whispered with a satisfied smirk. This made the stranger regain the confidence he had earlier as he flipped them back over. He moved his head down to remove their underwear with his teeth. This sight was so hot that Y/N got even needier on the spot. They needed him and they needed him now. No more teasing, no more playing.

“Fuck me,” they said boldly, sure that even the most no-English-speaking person should understand those words. Luckily the stranger did, as he moved back up, grabbing a condom from the nightstand and ripping the wrapper before rolling it onto his hard length. He hovered back over Y/N, dipping his head down to catch their lips in a feverish kiss before lining up with their entrance.

“Ready?” He whispered with a thick accent. Y/N nodded, looking up at him while biting their lip. He slowly pushed himself into them, earning moans from the two of them. His large member stretched Y/N out good and hit just the right places. Their tight hole encompassed his length perfectly and he waited for a second to help them adjust before slowly moving in and out.

Y/N dug their nails into the stranger’s back, making him groans. They made a mental note: he definitely enjoyed pain. They weren’t sure why they were even making this mental note, since it obviously was just a one-night stand and they weren’t even sure if they would stay the night after this.

Y/N wrapped their legs around his waist, urging him on to go faster, which he did. He snapped his hips forward in a sharp movement and grazed over their sweet spot. They moaned out, only encouraging him to go faster and harder. It was passionate but also rough at the same time. It was perfect. Exactly what Y/N had expected from this stranger with the amazing body.

He sped up more, clearly chasing after both of their climaxes which were approaching fast. Y/N didn’t know how much longer they would last as they started to clench around his length.

“C-close,” they moaned in his ear. “P-please,” this much he understood, as he somehow moved even faster and harder. He pulled all the way out before slamming back in, making Y/N cry out in pain and pleasure. They wouldn’t last anymore and by his twitching they could tell that he wouldn’t either. They whimpered as they felt their orgasm wash over them, clenching around him strongly, sending him over the edge as well. He groaned in their ear, connecting his lips with theirs as he eased the both of them off their highs. They stayed like this for a little, steadying their breathing as their bodies trembled in pleasure and satisfaction.

“Wow,” Y/N muttered when the stranger eventually rolled off them and laid back next to them. Neither of them spoke for a while as the minutes passed. Y/N was unsure of what to do next. Were they supposed to leave now or? They sat up slightly, ready to get dressed. However, the stranger grabbed their shoulder.

“Stay,” his thick accented voice muttered. He was clearly struggling to find more words, but he didn’t know what else to say. All they knew is that he didn’t want them to leave. Not now, at least. His fingers started to trail over the skin of their arm tenderly. Y/N scooted closer to him and he wrapped his arms around them, holding them close to his chest as they listened to the steady beating of his heart.

They fell asleep like this, forgetting about the world around them. It wasn’t until the next morning that Y/N was woken up by a loud knock on the door and some voices in the hallway. With their head pounding from the hangover, they quickly got dressed and ready to leave. The stranger woke up too, panic immediately taking over his face. He quickly got up and dressed as well before opening the door. Y/N hid behind him, silently cursing him for opening the door while they were still here.

It was the friends he had with him at the club last night and they seemed surprised when their eyes roamed over the two of them.

“Uh, hello,” one of them said, his voice covered with an Australian accent. He had freckles and his eyes were friendly. “We are here to pick him up for an interview,” an interview? So he was some important person, then?

“Oh- Of course,” Y/N said. “I have to go anyways,” stranger’s friends sent him knowing looks and he looked away, blushing a little. Y/N smiled at him and nodded their head before grabbing their purse and leaving the room.

“Well, goodbye,” they said. “I had a good time,” they knew that probably nobody except the guy who’d just spoken English to them would understand, but they reckoned they couldn’t leave without saying it.

Stranger nodded back and stopped Y/N before quickly whispering something they couldn’t understand to his Australian friend.

“Um- He wants to have your number,” the latter said. “He wants to talk to you more, if you’re okay with that,” Y/N was surprised, but nodded before quickly writing down their number on a piece of paper that was handed to them. They smiled, handing the note to their one night stand, before saying a quick goodbye before actually leaving.

“What your name?” They heard him calling after them.

“Y/N,” they said over their shoulder, smiling briefly before taking the elevator down and walking out through the main entrance of the hotel. They realized they’d forgotten to ask him for his name, but alas, it was time to go home. When they got to the pavement, they were crowded by cameras and microphones. They looked up in surprise, blinking against the flashing lights. What was going on here?

“Miss, miss,” one of the people behind the microphones said. “Is it true you came back here with Hyunjin last night?”

“Who?” Y/N asked, for a moment forgetting who or where they were due to all the attention that was placed on them right now.

“Hyunjin, member of Stray Kids? The popular K-pop group?” The person said, looking at Y/N as if they were stupid. Member of the what now?

“Popular K-pop group?” Y/N repeated.

“They’re known worldwide,” the interviewer said, clearly growing impatient.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N shrugged them off before quickly making their way to a cab and giving him the directions to bring them home. So their hook-up was a celebrity? A K-pop idol? Woah, no wonder he’d been such a great dancer. Hyunjin… They definitely had to look him up when they were home. What kind of shit had they gotten themselves into now?

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#skz #stray kids #smut #skz fanfic #skz smut #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #han #skz hyunjin #stray kids hyunjin #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #skz hyunjin smut #stray kids hyunjin smut #hyunjin scenarios #hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x y/n #dancer #hyunjin dance #club #alcohol #one night stand

[guardianofrivendell]

Oh Deer (request)

Legolas x reader

Requested: Yes! @lotr-th-nin-meleth​ asked “Hey! Could I get a Legolas x Reader where the reader is caring for an injured baby deer she found in the forest and she's usually really gruff and cold and keeps to herself? So Legolas gets all soft watching her be soft and she asks him for help or something you can choose and he's just all flustered and it's cute. Thank you xxx”

A/N: I switched it up a bit, hope you don’t mind! I also skipped the ‘old’ Westron Legolas usually speaks, to make it easier for me. Because I can do that.

Warnings: one soft curse word, mentions of blood, Legolas in love (yes, that needs its own warning)

“You are remarkably quiet today,” Legolas said to you after almost half an hour of silence.  You didn’t say anything back, eyes scanning the forest around you. Legolas shook his head. There was just no way to distract you, always focused on the task you’d been given. 

You were part of the Guard of Mirkwood. From the very beginning you had proven to be an exceptionally good fighter. Every mission you were sent on turned out succesful and with no casualties, so it didn’t take long for you to be allowed to go on even more dangerous missions.  Even though you had an impressive record, being an Elleth made it extra hard. It didn’t matter how skilled you were and that you’d showed more than once that you were tougher than most of the other guards, they still belittled you for being female. So when you were on duty, you put on a facade: stern expression, cold stare and not a sound unless you were spoken to. 

Despite your gruff facade, the Prince of Mirkwood had taken a liking to you. Not that you noticed; after all, you were too busy proving your worth.  Legolas made sure he was assigned to your group on patrols or vice versa - not that he didn’t have a choice, being Prince and all - and always suggested your name when there was a two-person job. All very subtle of course.

Today had been no different. There had been a sighting of a few Orcs wandering the forest, not that far from the palace. Thranduil instructed him to send a few guards to go and solve the problem. Those ‘few guards’ turned into Legolas and you. 

And now you were making your way through the forest, hunting some Orcs, with Legolas by your side who was desperately trying to make conversation. 

“You are allowed to speak, Y/N. It’s only me.” “Yes, only you... Don’t you think it’s rather strange our King sent only two guards? How many Orcs were seen again?” “Enough to handle ourselves, do not worry.” You scoffed. “I’m not worried, you know damn well that I could take them on my ow-” A sound in the distance made you cut off your sentence. Legolas heard it too, and you signaled him to climb the trees.

You both jumped from one tree to another with ease, until you reached a small clearance. There you could see about a dozen Orcs, most of them taking a rest, a few trying to make a fire to keep the spiders away. You signaled to Legolas to stay put, while you made your way to the other side of the clearance. 

He rolled his eyes at that. Shouldn’t it be him telling you what to do? But he listened anyway and waited for your signal. In his mind he was already planning how to attack the pack, thinking he could easily kill 4 or 5 Orcs from where he was hiding before making his way down the tree. This was almost too easy. 

A screech in the distance made the Orcs jump up and 3 of them disappeared in the woods, running past the tree you were hiding in. It seemed like the pack hadn’t been complete. You waved to Legolas, signaling you would go after them. Before he could protest, you were gone.  Why did you always have to prove yourself? He had no visuals anymore, but he could hear how your feet touched the ground. Your fight had begun. 

In one swift movement he took his bow and notched an arrow, and shot the Orc closest to him. Before he let himself drop down, he killed two more. He smirked to the six remaining Orcs and switched his bow for his two blades.  “Let us begin,” he muttered.

*

It was over in less than ten minutes. They didn’t even put up a real fight, Legolas thought.  Probably too exhausted from wandering through the forest for so long. He looked around but couldn’t see any sign of you, not even with his Elven eyes. Suppressing the slight rush of panic he felt, he began to look for you. You were tough. There was no way you couldn’t handle a handful of exhausted Orcs by yourself, he kept repeating in an attempt to reassure himself.

He ran through the forest, fighting the urge to call out your name. The last thing he wanted was to alert anything else of his presence.  “Legolas!” He halted immediately, frantically looking around him in an attempt to locate you. This was not a good sign, he thought. You knew how dangerous it was to draw attention to you this deep in the forest. It could only mean one thing... “LEGOLAS!” He tried to ignore the despair in your voice, and ran as fast as he could in the direction of your scream.  After a few agonizing minutes he found you hunched over on your knees. “Y/N?”

When you turned around, his heart stopped. Your hands were covered in blood. Red, not black, he realized.   He fell to his knees at your side, his eyes searching your body for injuries. “Where are you hurt?” Your tunic was no longer a lighter green, but stained with a dark red. He tried to remain calm for your sake, on the inside he was definitely freaking out. You didn’t answer him, and burst into tears instead.  “You’re going to be okay,” he said, more to himself than to you. “Everything is going to be okay.” He put an arm under your knees and around your waist and lifted you up with the utmost care, but you stopped him.  “Y/N, I have to get you back home. Just... please, let me take care of you.” “It’s not mine,” you said in between sobs, pointing to your drenched clothes.  “What happened?” Legolas asked, completely lost by now. He sat down on his knees with you still in his arms. If he wasn’t feeling so helpless at the moment, he would enjoy holding you this close. It felt nice. “I-...” You tried to take a long breath to calm down so you could tell him what was going on, but it only made it worse. Legolas rubbed your back softly until you found your voice again, relieved it seemed to help a little. “I-... I didn’t mean to hurt him!”

Legolas looked at you questioningly. Him? He scanned your surroundings but couldn’t see anyone.  You got up from his lap and took a few steps away from him, motioning him to follow you. He had to keep himself from taking your hand.  You took another ten steps and crouched down. Legolas heard you sniffling again.  What he saw in front of your feet, was probably the last thing he expected to see. A small deer, probably still a baby, lay on the ground. A large gap in his side, clearly your work. 

“Oh,” he sighed, finally understanding why you were so upset. The deer had definitely been in the wrong place at the wrong time. A laugh escaped his throat. You narrowed your eyes at him. Was he really laughing at you?  When he saw you were annoyed at him, he shook his head.

“Y/N you really are curious. Slaying Orcs, killing off spiders, you don’t bat an eye. Doesn’t affect you in the slightest. But an injured deer got you all upset?”  You felt the blood rise in your cheeks. Was it your fault you just really loved the forest animals? Someone had to take care of them, so why not you? You noticed him staring at you, a certain emotion in his eyes you could not seem to read. “What?” you asked him. “You’re cute... I mean-,” Legolas corrected himself too late. “It’s cute, the deer... is cute.”

You didn’t say anything back and Legolas cursed himself.  “You know what, let’s take it with us to the palace. I’m sure our Healers could do something for him,” he suggested. He wasn’t entirely sure they could do that, but if it would make you feel better...  “Are you sure we can do that?” “Of course we can, I’m the Prince.” He winked at you, and lifted the deer into his arms. You rolled your eyes at his cockiness. He was nothing like his father. 

“Thank you,” you said sincerely.  “Anything for you...”

A/N: Aaaaaah, I’m so bad at endings 🙈 I wanted something smart or funny, maybe I’ll change it later on if I can think of something. Sorry!

A/N part 2: It’s at times like these that I curse myself for not being a native English speaker. So sorry that my writing feels a little forced sometimes, but that’s mostly because of my lack of English vocabulary or because I can’t think of another way to say things and Google Translate can only do so much. So why not write in my own language you ask? Well... I don’t think there are a lot of Flemish (or Dutch) speaking Tumblr users waiting for Flemish lotr fics :)

#lord of the rings #lotr #legolas imagine #legolas #legolas x reader #legolas x y/n #legolas request #lotr fanfiction #lord of the rings fanfiction #lotr imagine #lord of the rings imagine #lord of the rings x reader #lotr x reader #guardianofrivendell #legolas greenleaf

[treasureswordsgirl55]

Dust (Part 1)

Character: James Bucky Barnes

Inspired by: Tu fotografía - Gloria Estefan

Pairing: James Bucky Barnes - Fem!Reader (O.F.C)

Warnings: Angst. Crying. Mentions of Death. Post!Infinity War.

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I hope you’re feeling well, wherever you are reading me 😃

This fic is one that I found while I was doing a electronic clean on my computer. I wrote this after, with my BFF saw Avengers: Infinity War.

Originally, I wrote this with Strange, but this song that makes me think of Bucky immediately.

So… I hope you like this one. Thanks you so much for the comments, likes and reblogs, and the kind words about my fics. It means so much for me.

Ps: If you wanna be tagged or have a petition for a fic, you just ask for it. 💋

PS2: I used the Google Translate again 🤦🏻‍♀️…. I’ll do my best next time.

XOXO 💋😘😘 Thanks you again for your likes. It means so so much.

•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•

Si desapareces yo te encuentro, en la misma esquina de mi habitación. Cada día que pasa te pienso y te vuelvo a mirar, cada cosa en su sitio el pasado presente, en el polvo mis dedos se juntan y quiero tenerte cambiando conmigo…

I hear the footsteps on the other side of the door, and then three knocks sound. Just three hits and I automatically know it’s not him.

He always knocks, and then I hear his footsteps in the room.

He always knew that I was leaving the door open for him. That whenever he needed him, he could knock and enter, whether he would need to speak, or just be quietly keeping us company.

I listened Camille’s cry, my neighbor who said that her husband had disappeared in front of her like dust.

Fear hold me.

The news talk about the spontaneous disappearance of many people, and even without knowing the exact number, they talk about a world catastrophe.

Random. Damn chance.

I listen to the three knocks again and I remember when he decided to leave with Steve, he told me that he would not hear from him for a while, and that in case something happened, America’s Guardian would come in his place. They would try to get that damn programming out of his head.

I prayed it would work.

The last I knew about Steve was that they were fighting an alien god and that it was a very risky thing to do. That he would find Bucky and take with him.

I asked him to tell him that I love him and I asked Steve to take care of him. I wanna see him again.

I look at the news again, which now talks about what seems to be the UN summit where most of the seats are empty, people look sad and those who speak only express the pain of having lost children, parents, husbands or wives , brothers and friends.

Did the villain win?

A louder bang startles me and even more, I know it’s not him.

How likely was it that this was not a sign of bad news?

With each step that I get closer to the door, the number grows larger, starting at one in a million, ending at ninety-nine thousand chances to one that it wasn’t. Something tells me that I’m not wrong.

The mind of a scientist, perhaps. I don’t know, but I curse every minute that he passes for having chosen a career that makes my brain think even more.

I grab the doorknob and hear whoever is on the other side walking across the hall. Maybe he got the wrong department? I think I’m just starting to walk away again but I hear a clear whisper that I understand perfectly.

That stranger in my sight mutters my name.

His voice breaks, as if saying it will cause him pain, or anguish and the lump that had formed in my throat grows stronger, preventing me from breathing for a second.

I know that voice, I had heard it on the phone, but always accompanied by jokes and smiles that mixed with it. I could never have associated that voice with sadness.

- Emma … - Steve’s voice breaks again and I look one last time at the photo on my desk before opening the door.

My desire for photography had reached unimaginable levels at that time, I had a Nikon camera, a gift from my parents when I turned 18 but which I hardly ever used, because I could not find enough reasons to do so, but one day I was preparing my thesis when Bucky came in, as usual, and sat across from me, watching me write about the side effects of vaccination in children. That’s how most of my days were, or when he wasn’t supposed to leave, he just sat and stared at me, or looked outside through the window where I had my desk.

That day I took that photo, he was so lost in his thoughts and in observing the outside that he hardly noticed that he took the photo. Even though he seemed so calm, he knew that memories and nightmares haunted him every moment of the day.

I miss him so much …

- Can you open? I need to know if…

As soon as I open it, Steve looks like an earthquake has passed over him. A blond-haired woman accompanies him, who only greets me with a nod. They both have sad expressions, like most of the people who were in the streets.

- Hell, I don’t know how to say this without crying - His voice breaks again, but I can see his blue eyes fill with tears. I know he’s trying to be strong, but the outside of him seems to mirror the inside of him — at least he’ll be happy to know you’re okay.

- Where is he? Still in Wakanda? What happened, Steve?

I remembered that this was our first time in the same room but something in his gaze made my heart stop in pain.

- We lost, Emma. We lost.

I didn’t want to ask about him, because if Steve was here, it means something had happened to him.

- Did he suffer?

I could feel the tears fighting to get out of my eyes, but I still didn’t want to accept the inevitable no matter how much my brain thinks about it.

Natasha, who was the woman accompanying him, muttered a curse as she pulled away from us and she stood still to one side, her back to us. Probably mourning some loss in silence.

- No, I don’t know. All I know is that he vanished like dust in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do.

- And Sam?

It was only enough that his gaze meet mine for him to give me the answer. He was gone too.

- He’s not coming back, is he?

- No. Well, I do not know…

- Steve, I need to know - I take him from both hands and I feel that the tears begin to fall down my cheek - If I am going to move on, I need to know that I am going to do this duel once and that my illusions are not alive for nothing.

- I don’t think he’ll come back. Because we don’t know how to bring them back. Stark is … missing. Banner doesn’t know what to do …. For the first time I know there might be a solution and I can’t find it.

- What if there isn’t?

- I’m sorry, darling. I’m sorry.

He walks the distance that separates us and wraps his arms around me. I feel that my world stops and I let myself fall. I broke me into a thousand pieces in the arms of the man who wished with all his soul that he had been able to save his best friend for the second time. I clench my fists as I want to run over to where that motherfucker is and try to hit him.

- Why that monster did this?

- I wish I could give you an answer but I don’t have it - His voice cracked and I felt tears fall on my hair. He was crying too - I lost him twice and couldn’t do anything to stop it.

- But he knew you love him. I never dared to tell him what I felt.

What I’d give to return to that moment …

- He knew it, Emma, ​​in his own way, but I can assure you that he knew it. Never doubt that. - He moves away while wiping the tears that fall down my cheek with his thumb - Bucky was always a very perceptive man of those things.

I couldn’t help but smile. The door of apartment 3C, which was the one that was a few meters from mine, opens and I see that Camille comes out of there, and walks quickly towards us, her eyes were red from crying and she simply stays still when she sees the two people in front of me.

- I’m sorry, Camille.

- He vanished in front of me, darling - I went to hug her and she cried again against my shoulder - What happened?

- The bad guy won, Camille.

- And the boy with sad blue eyes?

I bit back a sob as I watched Steve walk away with his head down, surely dropping tears just like me.

-He was gone too… like Arnold.

The two of us hugged each other tightly as we watched as the ashes were picked up by the wind and carried away, like a sour reminder of the evil of a person who takes everything in his path.

#marvel cinematic universe #marvel #avengers fanfiction #fanfic writer #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fanfiction #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x oc #james bucky barnes x reader #the avengers #avengers #marvel fanfiction

[mrpenguinpants]

Alright, I finally read Reincarnation no Kaben

AFTER MONTHS (it’s probably been a month? My mind doesn’t keep track of the days) I FINALLY CAUGHT UP TO RNK. Ty to Okita anon for the recommendation (*￣3￣)╭💕💕💕 I absolutely loved it. 

After this I’ll start on the other recommendation you gave me. I kept a bit of a log of my reading journey under the read more tag. 

Major spoilers for literally everything in RNK up to ch 53 “Withdrawal”. 

Oh, and I’ll finish answering all my leftover asks and I SHOULD have a fic done by tomorrow. I was so ready to write and then I got up. Now I’m back to bed. 

I’m just gonna write this as a log since I read super super slow and I’m only on ch 7 at the start of writing this but I’m really liking it already. Though to be fair. I love everything okita anon recommends haha. I remember you saying you were simping over Kouu and I haven’t gotten to the part where he appears but I wanted to quickly google what he looked like to prepare myself and I see this:

Well. That’s reassuring. 

I was actually kinda surprised by how many western figures were in the manga since I know there are only like 7? Around 7 western figures that pop up in any anime/manga but seeing people like Albert Fish was kinda surprising but I really liked it. Also, at the end of certain chapters they write little bio’s on them so you get to know more about them was such a nice touch.  I also love that the tradition of making males -> females still stays strong even outside the fate universe hehe.

---

Literally, the next chapter I see him. AHHHHHHHHH. Well maybe not him but his eyeballs. 

This guy lowkey reminds me of the MC’s brother but it’s 99% because he has the same long ponytail. I wouldn’t be surprised if the brother was apart of the the Greats. Honestly, Ein reminds me of those really hard headed girls that are actually really kind on the inside but aren’t good at expressing themselves (maybe because that’s pretty much her character). I also like that Ein doesn’t like males but she’s hiding behind this guy. At least, I’m..99% sure this is Ein. 

I FUCKING KNEW IT. AS SOON AS I SAW HE GOT A THEIF TALENT I COULD FEEL THE SOLO LEVELING VIBES IN ME. HE CAN STEAL TALENTS I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! I’m surprised that Neumann didn’t say anything and  Haito seems to be aware of it.  

Edit: Ah okay, I understand a bit now but it almost seems like Haito is the only one aware of Toya’s second talent.

Edit 2: Okay, as much as I love power hungry MC’s I’m really glad they didn’t make Toya into that. I am such a softie for sympathetic and kind MC’s like these even though it’s been done so many times. I’m really glad this didn’t feel like a rehash. I mean, some points some of the stuff Toya says it does but it’s fine, I don’t mind that. I actually gave a crap about him since I usually prefer the side characters (I UNDERSTAND ANON, I CARE ABOUT KOUU SO MUCH AHHHHH) but HAITO?? AHHHHH. 

---

I like that Izo always has the same hat in every adaptation he’s in lol. Istg, cats are always op. Schrodinger seems so strong and the parallel universes are my absolute shit. Sometimes I think, in one universe I did this and in this universe I’m not. Would I rather stay in this universe or be in the one where I am actually productive. Usually I pick the productive universe and actually work but sometimes I’m a bit of a slacker haha. I think this is my approach to a lot of things in life. But I digress, I don’t wanna get too deep into my life. 

I can sorta sympathize with the sinners. At least the ripper guy to say the least. I love love love unhinged characters that just want to basically destroy the world or at least have fun. But then you find out- wait they are actually sympathetic oh no. That’s how I felt about Djoser in “im the great priest imhotep” (please...i beg...someone read this...I’m so starved). 

As much as character development and rooting for the hero is cool and all, I just want to simp for the crazy “let’s burn the world to the ground” kinda character. I’m also so glad Toya doesn’t automatically become evil and try and steal everyone’s talents because he does seem like a good person and I really don’t see him suddenly switching fields so when he saved (I don’t remember names I’m sorry), the undead solider it was really nice. Proves that he still has his humanity and isn’t strictly relying on the branch of sin. 

It makes sense that he wants to steal talents since he never had one (and it was kinda out of left field when he killed Vlad and we just never addressed that ever again haha) but to see him actually consider his actions and if he actually want’s to steal his teammates talents feels right to me. Poor guy doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends so this is the first time he’s ever seemed to have companionship, aside from Haito, so I really hope he doesn’t attempt to steal their talents. I think I’m thinking of the slime? That time I got reincarnated as a slime manga/anime. Where he’s the pokemon catcher of skills. I thought that was where it was going. 

But I do kinda like how selfish Haito and Toya’s talent stealing relationship is (I mean, later it develops but my first draft of writing this I wasn’t there yet). I’m not sure if selfish or like self-gratitude/pride is the right word but it’s kind of a breath of fresh air. Rather than Haito trying to contain or “help” Toya’s inferiority she’s actually encouraging it and using her own talent for her own...acknowledgement? Er, yeah let’s go with that. 

---

This. This interaction. I love this. Like, genuinely love this. We need more of this. Two people from opposite sides finding some common ground and their fight to the death is less about morals or whose on whose side but for themselves. I love that. This is actually some wholesome stuff. 

Edit: AHHHHH CATCH MY UGLY CRYING IN THE BACK BECAUSE ALL THE “SINNERS” ARE ACTUALLY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM DEAD. YOU’VE KILLED ME. 

---

I KNEW IT! YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THESE KIND OF PEOPLE!! I’m going to slap the whiteboard on this but if I see any “goofy” character I’m immediately sus of them. 

As much as I hate that Hitler is getting drawn as a small child I really like this. I know the whole, oh I killed your friends but I’m letting you go because you express humanity but I’m gonna finish my death with a sympathetic line, can be annoying to people but idk I really liked this. 

Honestly this and the undead soldiers death hit me hard ngl. This manga might not have my favourite art style during some points compared to like main stream manga but it has some really beautiful scenes. 

BOOM CALLED IT, though it’s pretty obvious lol. 

THE PONY TAIL NEVER LIES AND HES DA VINCI IT MAKES SENSE NOW

He looks so cute lol. I like that Seiya has the talent of being talented in everything while Toya has the talent to steal other talents. Seiya can probably only cap his power by his own physical/mental abilities with Toya can pull a solo leveling and go further beyond. Thinking of it like jack of trades vs master of none type deals. Though, I might be thinking too hard on this. I like that this man is actually humble but I really wish there was a tiny bit more to him since we only get this one interaction/backstory but the manga isn’t completed yet. I really hope we get to know about Seiya more;; like how he became da vinci or etc. 

Everytime I see Neumann I look at that comic sans type and it kills me on the inside. But I love that her eyes are 01 just, mwah perfection. These little details that aren’t that big but it’s soooo nice. I also ahem, unhinged character heart be still. It’s really nice reading manga in bursts because you can see the art progression and damn does she look good. 

tiny fang appreciation post. 

ngl i’M HARD SIMPING FOR THIS MAN. It’s the pony tail, I have such a thing for guys with long hair (and this is why genshin broke me) but man the art really picked up here. 

I didn’t get into it but OKITA ANON I GET IT. KOUU??? AHHHH. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE??? As much as his whole “war” was a bit questionable in the beginning and tbh I still don’t really get it I like that he knows he’s not the same as the other Greats but still tries to help the other “sinners” in a way only he knows. That’s why Seiya was so important;; I get that he wanted them to have a fun death and to be understood but idk, the whole war idea and having them kill each other (especially the Hitler fights because I understand the others since they reached some kind of acknowledgement) but nonetheless, what a great guy.

Nightingale gives me mad masaki vibes from chainsawman. I hate them and I can’t wait for you to fail, but the inner part of my is cheering for you because unhinged characters are my shit. I feel really bad for Neumann, I had suspicions she wasn’t actually like that since it’s sooo out of left field but I’m really glad the manga seems to know what it’s doing. I really wish we got more Kouu interactions with everyone tho. 

NOW THIS. THIS IS SOME WHOLESOME STUFF. I WANT THIS. I REALLY WANT SPIN-OFF OF REALLY SAD ANIME/MANGA/STORIES WHERE ALL THE DEAD PEOPLE HANG OUT. That’s how I’m feeling about JJK and the scroll segments or BSD WAN that just came out. IT’S SO WHOLESOME TO SEE EVERYONE NOT TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER. 

UGLY SOBBING IN THE CLUBBB AND KOUU AND CHARLOTTE AHHHH. I hate how this is phrased but the respect I have for Hitler?? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD THAT IS TO TYPE?? Kitazuka is cool tho, I really like him. Some god given talent. I’m hard simping over him but I really hope we get to know more about him later. 

Getting smug mona vibes, I love this. 

AHHH IVE NEVER FELT THIS UPSET OVER AN APPLEEEE. I’M ACTUALLY UPSET. IF HE DIES IM ACTUALLY GOING TO CRY MY HEART OUT. 

THE FAMOUS SLAP 

I’M SORRY WHA- SLENDERMAN?

Oh..wow. Okay, be still my heart. When I first saw her I thought she was really pretty but now I’m absolutely smitten. God damn, can I please have some more crumbs on these characters before they die;; 

AHHH SAME GIRL FUCKING SAME????? I adore these small panels and translator notes. It’s a real breather after the sad 3am hours talk these characters go through. 

Yagyuu. Jesus christ. WHY ARE ALL THE DEATH SCENES IN THIS MANGA ACTUALLY SO PRETTY AND STABS ME IN THE HEART??? that’s it. goodbye. im fucking out. im actually so upset rn. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME? 

---

In conclusion, and I should probably re-read what the characters say and not go off on memory because I’m about to get really deep. I really like how they phrased why they wanted to stop the branch of sin. That there are people just like Toya and Haito who, if they never found the branch of sin, could still probably lead respectable and okay lives. That there was a “them” in another universe that didn’t go down that road and that they want to be in the same universe as “them”. I know this sounds really confusing if you haven’t read the manga but going back to what I said about the parallel universe stuff. 

There was a universe where Toya and Haito didn’t rely on the branch of sin, that even without their talents from becoming a returner, they could still live a happy life given their own personalities and attitudes. It was kinda moving since in the beginning, Toya wanted a talent so badly and now that he has one. He’s realizing that wait, I don’t need a past life talent in order to live. Honestly, I hard relate to that because I totally agree with him. If you have a talent you can probably live a very happy and comfortable life that other factors wouldn’t matter if you just have that incredible talent. Thinking of it as a painter or artist, if you had actual god-given talent you wouldn’t need to worry about other factors since people would naturally seek that talent. So you end up comparing yourself to others and setting that limit on yourself. 

But that’s okay, it’s completely natural and I’m not saying it’s horrible if you do this. Fuck, I do this all the time. I’m not saying the manga is changing my life but it’s kind of refreshing that it get’s talked about since other adaptations of this just make the character super OP. I understand wanting to have that incredible talent, fuck who doesn’t? but you don’t need it in order to live earnestly in the bigger picture sense. Not everything you do has to be productive and honestly, learning to be okay with having fun is nice. Just being okay with who you are right now, even if it isn’t perfect in your eyes, you still have time to build upon yourself and your own talents but doing it for yourself. 

But I probably missed the point and I’m going way to deep haha. But I really enjoyed reading this and thank you once again to okita anon for the recommendation^^ I always love everything you send me and I’ll start reading the next one. If anyone else has any recommendations let me know! 

#WOW WHAT A FUCKING TRAIN RIDE #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #ALRIGHT TIME TO GO CRY MY HEART OUT #JESUS THIS ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL??? #PLEAE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT #IK THE BEGINNING MIGHT SEEM A BIT WEIRD WITH SO MUCH INFORMATION THROWN AT YOU BUT DO IT #IT GETS SOOOO GOOD LATER #ITS GETTING SO GOOD RN BUT I NEED TO WAIT FOR UPDATES #OKITA ANON YOU ARE SUCH AN MVP FUCK I LOVE IT #BUT YOURE ALSO KILLING ME #super duper fucking i love you i actually love you mwha #okita anon #lovely anon #anon ask #reincarnation no kaben

[nickshoneyboo]

attention

warnings: i still cuss a lot... google translated spanish... a virgin writing unrealistic se-

fun stuff: a mix of degradation and praise (but only if you squint)

requested: omg yes this is my first request

words: 1257... I got carried away...

fic number: two

“Joel, bro you fucking suck! Y/N plays better than you and she can’t even-”

“What about Y/N?” You looked up, suddenly interested.

“Nothing, baby! I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

You heard laughter roar through Richard’s headset so you knew his focus was no longer on you. You were sprawled on the couch behind you loving, but not attentive, boyfriend. You wanted nothing but to spend the day with him, to listen to him talk about nothing and everything. This, however, was not what you had in mind.

“Richard?” No response. “Rich. Baby. Babe. Cariño. Mi amor.” Still nothing. “I’m going to jump off a cliff so if you need me, don’t!”

“Dame un segundo. Casi termino, lo prometo…” He trailed off.

“Fucking hell.” You got up and stood beside him. You knew he could see you yet he chose to ignore you still. You moved closer to the flat screen. This got his attention and he attempted to lean around you.

“I said I’m almost done, mami,” he says, still oblivious to your previous threat.

“I’m going to take a shower. Try to miss me,” you deadpanned.

As you started to walk away you heard, “Un besito?”

“Nope, play your game.” You were answered with a glare from Richard and a number of screams from the other boys. You’ve won.

You pranced around your shared room mindlessly, searching for something of Richard’s to wear. Somehow or another, you ended up laying on the floor, watching tiktoks. You turned on your stomach, realizing you were on your phone far too long.

“Okay, like three more. Then, you shower.”

One. Another comedy video you didn’t understand.

Two. A dance you saved.

Three. A prank? One that will get you what you deserve? Perfect timing. The world wanted this to happen. Thank you, Siri, for listening to me unlike someone-

—————————

You had no idea how long you were in the shower and definitely didn’t know how long you were on the floor. You did know that you could still hear Richard insulting his band members. You picked up your phone and started recording. You faced the camera, showing your towel covered body. You turned around and faced your phone toward the ground. To any unsuspecting person, it looked as if you were doing no more than reading a text. You dropped your towel and made your way to Richard.

You approached him and to no one’s surprise, he didn’t even acknowledge you. You flipped your phone and gave the camera a disapproving look. The audio ended before he even turned around.

“Richard! What must I do for seven seconds of your time? Damn!”

This caught his attention. “Baby, lo siento pero-” His breath hitched. “Uh… I think I have to go…”

“Well, it took you long enough.” You checked your screen. Still recording. You started walking backwards to your room. Richard followed. You giggled and started moving faster. The faster you moved, the closer Richard got.

Your knees hit the back of your bed and you fell backwards. You turned your camera toward him as he crawled over you.

“You’ve been recording me?”

“Only for about 25 seconds…”

“Mhmm. Why were you recording me?” He inquired.

“Just for a tiktok,” you answered. You studied the way his eyes darkened.

“Oh is that so?” He snatched your phone so fast you didn’t have time to think. You knew better than to try and take it back. Richard backed off of you, suddenly too far away. “Come here,” he started. As you sat up he added, “on your knees.”

As embarrassing as it felt, you couldn’t deny your arousal. You crawled over to the edge of the bed and sat on your heels.

He grabbed your chin, making you eye level with him. “Now you listen to me and you listen good. I’ll give into your little game. But I promise you one thing. You won’t like it.” You shivered at his words but you nodded, anticipating his every move. “Lay down, Y/N. Be a good girl for me,” he encouraged. You noticed the change in his voice but you were getting what you craved and that’s all that mattered.

He spread your legs open and ran his fingers up your thighs “Richard…”

“What? Am I still not giving you what you wanted?” You stayed quiet. “What? You’ve got to tell me what you want.” You whined, still embarrassed and frustrated. “I don’t speak brat. I'll ask you one more time. What. Do. You. Want?”

“Your mouth… please,” you managed. Apparently it wasn’t enough.

“Louder, I didn’t hear you.” You didn’t have to be told twice. You were tired of waiting.

“Your mouth. Please.” You repeated yourself, much to his enjoyment.

Within a second Richard had his head buried between your legs. He alternated between short, quick licks and long, slow strokes. And honestly? I was too much to handle. You blindly felt for his hair, too distracted to even open your eyes.

“Fuck, Richard please don’t stop,” you whined. “Oh, I’m gonna… I…” Lo and behold. He stopped. You couldn’t bring yourself to complain yet. You calmed down and glared at him. He tried to cover his laugh.

“Why are you looking at me like that? I thought you were enjoying yourself?”

“Richard, can you please!”

“Lose the attitude, mami.” He didn’t look pleased with you but at least he continued.

—————————

“Okay, okay, baby please…” You started to push his head away. His tongue felt so good but fuck, it was too much.

“You wanted attention so bad and now that I’m giving it to you, you want to complain? It’s a bit too late for that, don’t you think?” Oh so this is what he meant by ‘you won’t like it.’

“I’m sorry but-”

“No. I’m giving you what you wanted. Don’t be unappreciative.” You nodded, too weak to do anything else.

—————————

Reluctantly, Richard stood up and palmed himself through his sweats. You watched intently, waiting for your next orders. Knowing you were watching, Richard put on a show. He slowly peeled off his pants and smirked.

“Hands and knees, baby, come on.” You slowly turned on your side, then your stomach, and stretched out on the bed. You were moving to slow for his liking so he grabbed your waist and pulled you backward. One thing you’ve learned today is that Richard does not put up with your teasing. After a few swats on your ass, he finally slid into you. You let out the softest moan and dropped your arms. The only things holding you up right now are your breasts. Those and Richard's tight grip on your waist.

“Ah…” This wasn’t your first time with Richard but it never felt like this.

“Oh, what now? Don’t act like you can’t handle it. Take it like a good slut. Can you do that for me?” He knew how you felt about that. You panted, struggling to answer. “Hmm, baby?”

“Yes, papi…” As your orgasm neared, Richard sped up. Your moans and whimpers encouraged his wild thrusts until…

“Ohhh,” you both sighed together. After a moment, Richard pulled out and laid next to you. You rolled onto your back and glanced at him.

“Was that enough attention for you, mami?”

“Plenty. But the next time you put me second to that stupid game? The only thing I’m giving you is a pillow and directions to the living room.” You smiled and turned over, satisfied with yourself. “And with that being said, good night.”

date finished: april 23, 2020

time finished: 2:17 am

tags: still none yet

#richard camacho #richard camacho smut #cnco #cnco smut

[justabrazilianwriter]

The Party (SHIKATEMAWEEK 2020 - Day 4).

Another day, another chance to write shikatema fics, another oneshot to contribute to the week of the best Naruto couple! This is also published on Ao3. Hope you guys enjoy it!

DAY 4: Roomates.  SUMMARY:  It was common knowledge that Shikamaru Nara was not a party person. Because of that, it's obvious that he is in a bad mood when he is forced to attend one made by a new friend of Kiba. He doesn't want to be there. Everything sucks. But when the host's older sister shows up, maybe going to that party wasn't such a bad idea. CONTENT NOTICE: use of alcoholic drinks and drugs. They are all adults.  (3987 WORDS). 

English is not my first language, so I translated this story through the google translator. If you find any grammatical or concordance errors, please let me know!

It was well known that Shikamaru Nara was not a party person.

Not that he hated parties with all his might, but he just didn't understand why everyone adored it. Shikamaru liked to drink here and there, but getting completely drunk only gave him the worst hangovers the next day. Weed left him dying from sleep and he was not a person who needed help with that. When the clock passed midnight he was ready to leave and sleep, but none of his friends allowed it and he had to stay, listening to Ino's terrible musical taste exploding on the speaker for long three hours.

Not to mention that parties usually never had a measly place to sit and Shikamaru had to spend hours leaning against the walls. What did people have against chairs or sofas? Some people needed a moment to rest for God's sake!

So, when Kiba invited him to a small party at the home of a new friend of his (some foreign kid who recently moved in to town and ended up saving him from an assault), Shikamaru's first thought is to deny. He does not want to go. Making new friends is a lot of work and he doesn't understand why he would need it. He already has enough friends, thank you very much.

But Naruto knows the younger brother of Kiba’s friend and Naruto, much to Shikamaru's despair, never gives up. He wants everyone to know each other, which means he doesn't leave Shikamaru alone. He sends messages, addresses him whenever he can, knocks on his damn door until he answers and, in the end, Shikamaru give up only so Naruto can leave him in peace.

Which brings him to that moment, when he stumbles down the sidewalk with Chouji by his side, sighing and moaning sadly.

"Why do we need to go?" he asked sadly to the heavens. Chouji laughed beside him, enjoying his mood.

"Look on the bright side," he said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "The sooner we arrive, the sooner you can leave."

Shikamaru laughed, wrapping his arm around Chouji's shoulders.

"That's why," he said, giving him a smile. "You are my best friend".

Chouji laughed with pleasure.

"Don't let Ino hear that," he joked. "She hasn't gotten over the last time she heard you say that and it's been years."

"Ino has no morals to say anything" replied Shikamaru as he put his arms behind his head. "Since she started dating Sai, she hardly spends time with us."

Chouji shrugged and smiled warmly.

“Who can blame her? She's in love". He looked at Shikamaru and raised an eyebrow. "Not that you know much about it."

An indignant exclamation came from his lips.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. "I dated Shiho for almost a year!".

"And look what happened".

Shikamaru didn't have an answer to that because he knew that Chouji was right. Shiho was a nice girl he met in an eccentric code-cracking class in college. She was cute, smart, kind and liked him, so Shikamaru asked her out. They dated for months and never fought, never fell out, never had any problems.

It was very boring.

There was no stimulus, there was no sparks, there were no emotions at all.

And when he realized he was absolutely bored in that relationship, he ended it all. And it should have hurt a lot more than it hurt, he should have suffered a lot more than he suffered. But in spite of everything, what hurt him most was seeing Shiho cry because she was a very nice girl and a good friend. Just it.

"You never fell in love either," he murmured to Chouji, seeing him roll his eyes. "You are not in the position of pointing fingers."

"I'm an incurable romantic, you know that" defended Chouji looking good-natured. “And I will find love someday. It's just that, unlike you, I don't go around denying the sadness of my love life and being all resentful about it”.

Shikamaru pouted and crossed his arms, listening to him laugh beside him. Feeling the words of his best friend entering his chest, he tried to change the subject.

"What's the name of this new Kiba friend, anyway?".

"Kankuro" said Chouji looking at his cell phone and checking the address. “And his younger brother, who knows Naruto, is called Gaara. I think they have an older sister, but nobody seems to know her ”.

The two finally arrived at the house, ringing the bell. From the inside, Shikamaru could already hear Lee's joyful screams and Ino's music bursting through the speakers. It would be a long night.

The door opened and a tall boy with brown hair and lots of makeup on his face appeared. He smiled at them, raising his eyebrows.

"Hello," he said. "And who are you guys?".

"I am Chouji" he said before pointing to Shikamaru. “And this is Shikamaru. We are friends with Kiba ”.

"Oh yeah! He commented that you would come. Friends of the blonde who speaks loudly and took over my sound, right? ” joked the boy. "I am Kankuro".

"It's a pleasure," muttered Shikamaru as he entered the house. "And I'm sorry for Ino."

Kankuro laughed and shrugged.

"Don’t be. I'm used to blonde women who like to yell at me. My sister got  me used well ”.

The rest of the group, who were scattered around the room, looked at Chouji and Shikamaru and shouted in celebration. Naruto left where he was sitting and pulled Shikamaru into a bear hug.

"I knew you would come," he said with a huge smile on his lips. "You say you don't like it, but I know you can't resist a party."

"What I can't resist is how insistent you can be" replied Shikamaru while rolling his eyes. "You literally started showing up in my nightmares."

Naruto laughed heartily and Chouji rolled his eyes fondly. Kankuro appeared behind them, pointing around.

“Beers can be left in the kitchen, over there. There's a bathroom up the stairs and please, cigarettes just near the windows or outside. Gaara hates the smell ”. He then pointed to a red-haired boy with eye makeup who was listening to something Lee was saying. “That's him, my little brother. I don't think you need me to introduce anyone else ”.

"I didn't want to be the person to warn you about this, but calling this group of people into your home was probably the biggest mistake of your life," muttered Shikamaru. Kankuro laughed before taking a sip of his beer.

“Kiba's friend, that quiet guy with the sunglasses, said the same thing, but we moved out a little while ago and haven't met anyone yet. Kiba said that we would get along with his friends, so why not? As long as no one pukes on the carpet, I think we'll be fine. Temari would make me clean the dirt with my own tongue”.

The party continued for the next hour. Shikamaru found a comfortable place to lean against the wall and drank a beer while watching his friends around. Ino and Sakura talked to each other non-stop, while Sai and Sasuke listened to them in silence as usual. Naruto tried his best to convince Neji to compete with him on ‘who could drink the most’, but Shikamaru knew it was a lost cause. Hinata watched them with a resigned look and Tenten laughed so hard that she looked like she was about to cry. Lee was talking non-stop, his cheeks slightly red, sitting on the sofa very close to Gaara, who was listening to him with all his attention. Shino, Kiba and Kankuro talked and laughed about something. Shikamaru also noticed that Kiba and Kankuro seemed to be leaning a little to close to each other.

Chouji tried to start conversations with him, but while he was drinking, Shikamaru couldn't help repeating the conversation they had in his mind.

He wasn't that bad when it came to love. He had his share of relationships here and there since puberty and he considered himself a handsome and intelligent guy, thank you very much. Okay, Ino was his first kiss and it was so absurdly weird that they just looked at each other afterwards and burst out laughing, agreeing never to do that again. He and Sakura also tried to date when they were younger, but Shikamaru was not in the mood to be with someone who was clearly in love with other guy.

They grew up, he had his dates, he lost his virginity, he dated Shiho. So, yes, maybe he never fell in love so deeply that he lost his mind and became as stupid as Naruto with Hinata, but that didn't mean he didn't understand anything about love or was hopeless.

Right?

And it was with these thoughts in mind that he heard her voice for the first time.

Key noises could be heard, but no one seemed to pay attention. The front door opened, someone entered, at the same moment that the music faded and, before anyone could do anything, a voice came up saying:

"Why is there a bunch of strangers in my house?".

Shikamaru's eyebrows furrowed and he turned his head, the beer can still on his lips, while he drank. His eyes sought the owner of that voice, going to his right, until he fell into...

Holy fucking shit.

The personification of his wet dreams was standing there, at the entrance to the room, looking at everyone with a raised eyebrow. Shikamaru almost let the beer can slip from his fingers, too impacted by the sight of her to be able to put strength in his own hand. His mouth was slightly open and he sure looked like an idiot, but at that moment, who cares?

His eyes followed beautiful tanned legs, covered with fishnet tights, to the smallest skirt in the universe. Then they head up, where he tried not to focus because he was educated to be a gentleman, but Shikamaru's brain melted. A  stomach line, tight T-shirt, a long and elegant neck that led him to a beautiful and dangerous face. Sand-blond hair tied in two ponytails, expressive eyebrows, delicious lips contorted in a grimace. Her eyes swept the room and fell on him for just a second. The world caught on fire.

He has never seen a woman like her in his life. He had never felt such an overwhelming urge to be trampled by someone like in that moment. He would let her step on him like a rug and then he would say thank you.

The music was paused. Everyone looked in her direction. And Shikamaru realized that she was clearly older than them, because all her energy screamed maturity. She seemed to dominate the entire room with just a look and he was certainly included in it, like an insect hypnotized by a light trap.

"Temari!" exclaimed Kankuro, looking slightly paler. "Shit. What are you doing here?".

She looked at him for long seconds without an expression on her face.

"I live here" replied simply and Shikamaru controlled himself not to laugh. She seemed to be a smartass like him.

"I know" replied Kankuro, looking indignant. "But I thought you were going to spend the night at your boyfriend's house."

"Oh, yes, me and Daimaru broke up" Temari replied, not looking shaken by it. Something in Shikamaru's chest hummed, happy that she was single.

"Are you alright?" asked Gaara, looking slightly concerned and speaking for the first time since Shikamaru arrived. She shrugged.

"Yes. He cried, but meh, it's okay” she replied. Then she put her hands on her waist and Shikamaru had a flashback from his own mother when his father was in trouble. "Now, can you tell me why there are a bunch of strangers in my house?".

"Well, you always say that we should make more friends, so I met some people and thought about making a social with them".

"In our house?".

"Yes".

"In the middle of the week?".

"Yes?".

"Without telling anyone?".

"I told Gaara!" exclaimed Kankuro, trying to defend himself. Temari's eyebrow went up even more and she looked so dangerous and powerful that Shikamaru lost his breath.

"Gaara is not the one who pays the bills" she countered and the silence followed for a few seconds. Everyone's eyes passed between them, as if watching a game of ping-pong. Shikamaru's chin was still slightly dropped.

"Kankuro...?" Temari started saying.

"Yes?" he asked.

"You are the worst roomate I have ever had in my life."

"I'm the only roomate you've ever had," he countered. Temari crossed her arms, indicating the sofa with her head.

"This is not true. I have Gaara”.

"Gaara is so quiet that sometimes I spend days without seeing him".

"And he couldn't be more perfect" she returned and a little smile appeared on her beautiful lips, because she knew she was winning the argument. The sight of that smile sent a delicious shiver down Shikamaru's spine. Suddenly, he was no longer tired. On the other way, he was full of energy.

In a quick movement, Temari took the beer can out of Kankuro's hands and drank.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "That's mine!".

"Yours?" she asked.

"Yes, I paid with my money".

"Oh, so do you have money now?" Temari murmured, smiling in an almost feline way. Shikamaru's heart exploded in his chest at the thought of what it would be like to have that smile directed at him. "So how about you start helping with the rent then?".

She and Kankuro faced each other in a silent battle. He was the first to look away and she smiled victoriously.

"That's what I thought," she said, before taking a second sip. Then she pursed her lips, pretending to think and sighed. "Okay, I'm not going to ruin your party."

"Oh God, thank you" sighed Kankuro. "Tem, you are the best big sister in the world-".

"But I have some conditions."

Kankuro groaned. Gaara laughed, clearly enjoying the situation. He was not the only one. All the women present looked at Temari as if she were a powerful example to be followed. Shikamaru also couldn't take his eyes off her, but for other reasons.

“First, don’t break anything. Any mess or dirt has to be clean tomorrow morning”.

"Deal," said Kankuro automatically.

“Second,” continued Temari, looking amused by her brother's bad mood. She moved closer to him, with her long bare legs moving slowly and Shikamaru's hands were sweating so hard that he thought he would pass out from dehydration. “No weed in the back area. The neighbor will complain and I hate to deal with her”.

"There's no weed," lied Kankuro, making both Shikamaru and Temari roll their eyes. The smell was literally everywhere.

"Tell that to your friend who's eating mustard with pickles and peanuts," she argued, pointing at Chouji a few feet away, with his eyes a little red. Everyone turned to him and he flinched, his mouth still full of that culinary crime.

A loud laugh escaped Shikamaru's lips before he could stop himself. Temari turned, looking at him and her eyebrows rose slightly. Her eyes slowly studied him from top to bottom and the temperature in the room seemed to be so hot that everything would start to melt. Her lips lifted in a smile, still staring at Shikamaru and he can't stop himself from smiling back.

"You are not funny, Tem" groaned Kankuro.

"The cute one over there thinks I'm funny," she countered, indicating Shikamaru with her head and making him almost choke on his own saliva. “Well, rule number three: no loud music for the same reason as before. The neighbor is a bitch and she'll probably call the police. I am the eldest, everything will fall on my back and I swear to God, Kankuro, if I get arrested because of you, I will kill you”.

"Nobody's going to be arrested," he said in a groan. "Anything else?".

Temari took a long drink of beer, her eyes on her brother, just to torture him a little. Then she sighed and smiled.

"No” she said. “You can continue."

And the party continued.

Shikamaru's eyes seemed to be drawn to her figure like magnets. He tried not to look, but it seemed like a completely impossible task. He saw how Ino and Sakura approached Temari right after, monopolizing their attention for a long time. He saw her drink more, saw her smile, saw her laugh, saw her cross those damn legs together, thick thighs showing and making him shiver.

Worse, he saw her look at him. With her beautiful and mysterious eyes, Temari turned to him once in a while, sometimes without expression, sometimes evaluating him again, sometimes with that feline smile appearing on her lips and Shikamaru drank so much without realizing it, completely distracted by her, that his mind was completely blurred.

When she moved again, laughing at something Ino had said and her skirt went up a few more inches, Shikamaru stood up, desperate for a cigarette.

He went to the kitchen, opening a door to the back and stayed there, smoking, trying to distract his own head and ease his heartbeat.

Completely useless, because a few minutes later he heard footsteps and her voice haunted him again.

"Cigarettes are very bad for you, you know."

Shikamaru turned, seeing her leaning against the doorframe with her shoulder. His hands started to sweat again, but a mischievous smile appeared on his lips.

"Your brother is smoking weed less than ten meters away," he argued. Temari's eyebrow rose and she walked closer to him, looking amused.

"Kankuro is a hopeless case since I dropped his head on the ground when we were kids," she said. She leaned her elbows on the center counter of the kitchen, projecting her back slightly forward and making his mind go blank. "Are you a hopeless case?".

"I like to think not," he replied, taking a drag on his cigarette. "Some would say that I am very smart."

"Oh, so I heard" replied Temari with a raised eyebrow. “Your friends were telling me everything. A genius, huh? ”.

Shikamaru's cheeks burned.

"The title can be a bit over the top," he said, scratching the back of the neck. Temari laughed, raising her hand.

“Temari” introduced herself. He squeezed her hand and her skin was warm under his fingers.

"Shikamaru" replied.

"Well, it's a pleasure, Shikamaru," Temari said, letting go and leaning back against the counter. His name on her lips was music to his ears. "So, which one of my idiot little brothers brought you here today?".

Shikamaru laughed, finishing his cigarette.

"None" replied, throwing it in the trash and taking a few steps towards her. “I am friends with Kiba, the make-up boy who is not your brother. But I came because Naruto insisted”.

"The blond who doesn't know how to speak softly?" asked Temari and Shikamaru laughed.

"The one nd only" replied. Both she and he looked through the kitchen door, watching Naruto and Lee talking animatedly with Gaara, on the living room sofa.

"He and Gaara seem to get along," she murmured. Shikamaru smiled, finally standing next to her and realizing that he was taller by long centimeters. It was surprising, because her energy screamed that she would be able to put him on the floor in a few seconds.

"Naruto likes him," he said. "He convinced everyone to come so we could get to know him."

A loving smile broke out on her lips.

"I'm happy" she said and the tone of her voice was so gentle and soft that Shikamaru's heart beat again. He didn't know which Temari he liked best: the seductive and mysterious or the gentle and smooth. In the end, it didn't really matter. He would accept whatever she wanted to show. “Gaara is very shy. It is difficult for him to make friends. I'm glad that the blonde and the boy with the strange haircut adopted him “.

Shikamaru laughed again and she looked at him. The silence followed for a few seconds, before he tried to break it, not wanting their interaction to end there.

"So, difficult day?" He asked. Temari looked confused.

"No, why?". Shikamaru's cheeks burned and he was slightly lost.

"Well, you told about your breakup and these things are usually complicated ..."

"Oh, yes," said Temari before giving a dry chuckle and shrugging her shoulders. “I wouldn't say it was that difficult. My relationship was about to end for a long time, but it seems that only I saw it. I think I should be sadder than I really am, but I can't explain it”.

"Actually, I completely understand" Shikamaru said and she looked at him with surprised eyes. "I just broke up and was more sad to make her sad than the break up itself."

"Yes, exactly," muttered Temari and they continued to stare at each other with surprise. “It is difficult to explain, but it is as if Daimaru and I were just great friends. There was no...”.

“Spark” completed Shikamaru. Her eyes widened slightly.

"Yes! Chemistry, ” she said. "Everything was so normal, so monotonous, so ...".

"Boring".

And they looked at each other in even more surprise, with a strange and delicious energy pulsing between them. Temari's eyes assessed him again and a smile appeared on her lips. Suddenly, she looked like a predator ready to take a victim. And Shikamaru couldn't be happier to be her prey.

"... Yes" she murmured. "That's exactly it."

Shikamaru found himself completely lost in the deadly beauty of her face. He had, in five minutes of conversation, more chemistry with Temari than in his entire relationship with Shiho. She was beautiful and sharp, smart as hell, ready to give back in equal measure everything that anyone threw at her. Temari dominated the environment only with her presence, everyone around seemed to be under her command. She seemed to be someone who didn't bow her head at all. She looked like someone who would eat Shikamaru alive if he had the honor of being involved with her.

She looked like the most troublesome woman he had ever met.

And it was absolutely addictive.

The sound of an alarm broke their trance. Temari closed her eyes, cursing under her breath and took her cell phone out of her skirt pocket.

"I have to go" she said and Shikamaru's shoulders fell in disappointment.

"I thought you lived here," he said and she raised an eyebrow like he was an idiot.

"I meant to leave the party, genius" she countered with a smile in the corner of her mouth. "Some people work early in the morning."

She walked away from him, walking on her back, her eyes still on him. He saw her beautiful thighs move away, her beautiful silhouette move away, the idea that maybe he would never be able to see her again appear and Shikamaru tried to think of something to say, to prevent her from leaving, but his brilliant brain, for the first time time, didn't have a plan.

"Wait! Temari ”exclaimed on instinct. She stopped, looking expectantly at the doorframe.

Shikamaru swallowed, praying that he wouldn't ruin it.

"Why don't you give me your phone number?" he asked, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "You know, so I can let you know if your brother wants to throw a party behind your back again."

She looked at him for what seemed like hours, probably loving to see him sweat like she did with Kankuro earlier. In the end, her eyes sparkled and her smile became excitingly feline. Shikamaru felt an impulse to run and thank Naruto for being a stubborn idiot.

"I thought you would never ask."

#shikamaru #shikatemaweek2020 #shikatemaweek #day 4 #shikamaru nara #temari #Temari of the Sand #temari nara #modern au #shikatema fic #shikatema au #kankuro of the sand #sand siblings #Gaara of the Sand #Gaara

[barisifictionarchive]

MASTER LIST - suggested by the writers

The very talented creators were asked to name the favorite fics they’ve written themselves, so here’s the compiled list with our writers’ suggestions of their best works:

before the alarm. by vadaviita

(392 | General | Complete)

Sometimes, no matter how exhausted you are, you just so happen to wake up hours before you really need to; sometimes, for a moment, you're glad.

Turn the Lights Off, I'm in Love by egirldallon

(545 | Teen | Complete)

It's just Rafael and Sonny dancing. That's it.

Here, In Your Arms by Bicarisi

(626 | General | Complete)

Sonny Carisi has never felt this happy in his life.

Penis Fish, A Tale of Lost Love by rellkelltn87

(726 | Teen | Complete)

Barba is trapped on a beach with thousands of urechis unicinctus, the species of spoon worm colloquially known as the “penis fish." (Trust me, kids, you don't want to Google that.) This is basically a Twitter gag that went too far. Also, it's formatted as a TV script.

Probably don't read this if you're squeamish about weird-looking aquatic life forms.

I will escort myself out of the fandom now.

Discouraged by BarbaLovesCarisi (CaptainAmericasShield)

(1142 | Teen | Complete)

Carisi goes home to Barba after being blindsided in Arraignments. Again. He’s feeling discouraged and starts to question if he really is suited for being an ADA. Rafael comforts him and convinces him he’s wrong and things would get better.

all of this silence and patience, pining and desperately waiting by wayward13

(1392 | Teen | Complete)

"You grew a beard."

Rafael laughed and looked back and forth between the two of them.

"What is with you two? Does it look bad?" he asks with a smile bringing his hand up to rub his cheek briefly.

"No! You- uh you look really good, Barba," Sonny stammered, "I mean- happy. You look really happy."

"I am."

Good Thing Go by minnesotamemelord

(1501 | General | Complete)

Rafael Barba says his goodbyes.

finally safe to fall by adabarbacarisi

(1600 | Mature | Complete)

Rafael loved fiercely and deeply, when he fell for someone he was as passionate and intense with that love as he was in his work. It seemed it was in his nature to be a little too much, a little too bold, for a lot of people. He had accepted that perhaps that world-changing, earth-shattering, heart-soaring kind of mutual love wasn’t in the cards for him.

That is, until Sonny Carisi entered his life and changed everything.

Family by Ava_now

(1656 | General | Complete)

Happy Valentine's Day! Here, I got you a baby!

Harbor in the Storm by BarbaLovesCarisi (CaptainAmericasShield)

(1959 | Teen | Complete)

After the end of Sunk Cost Fallacy, Sonny Carisi needs help. Rafael Barba is the only one who can help him.

Only say my name, it will be held against you by Bicarisi

(2053 | Mature | Complete)

Sonny and Rafael had been friends with benefits for over a year. But what happens when it becomes something more?

Begin Again by glammetalkitten

(2389 | General | Complete)

The morning Sonny wakes up as an ADA and not an NYPD detective, he’s, you know, a little nervous. New job, life-changing kind of nervous.

Forgiven by BarbaLovesCarisi (CaptainAmericasShield)

(2476 | Teen | Complete)

When Rafael Barba shows up out of the blue after almost three years, Sonny doesn't know what to think. He wants to be upset, but Rafael makes it almost impossible. Rafael disappeared off the face of the earth and Sonny can't let himself forgive him that easy. With as sincere as Rafael seems, Sonny can't help but think maybe he was deserving of his forgiveness.

Where's the Love Without Remorse by girldallon

(2809 | Teen | Complete)

Some secrets are purposely kept, for a reason, good reasons.

You Raise Me Up by BarbaLovesCarisi (CaptainAmericasShield)

(3041 | Teen | Complete)

The Undiscovered Country never happened. Jack McCoy hired Sonny as an ADA then promptly retired, leaving room for Rafael Barba to become the new DA. He takes care of Sonny and supports him, even when no one else does.

White in Your Hair by FreckledSkittles

(3299 | Teen | Complete)

It's been too long since Sonny has seen Rafael. Things have changed, but it feels great.

Call by Coop_Scoop

(4119 | Explicit | Complete)

Rafael finally decides that living in Florida really isn't for him, he hasn't worked since he got there. But he needs to make a few calls to try and get back to where he wants to be and maybe get the person who has haunted his mind since he left.

he doesn't look a thing like jesus by hanzios

(5029 | Teen | Complete)

The first time he summoned the archangel, Sonny was on his couch, reading a Wikipedia page about translated Hebrew transcripts from the Old Testament.

He Who Can Endure It by abogadobarba (daltonfightclub)

(5478 | Teen | Complete)

They were always so close to the precipice of something more, but ever the pragmatists, were also privy to the many ways in which a whisper of impropriety could destroy a career such as theirs, cut down a man by half and leave him aching besides—and that’s before accounting for the scandal of it all.

But before all else, Sonny was a man of His word. So, he learned to endure it.

OR: The one in which Carisi is the new ADA and in a little bit over his head (with both the law AND Barba).

High School Barisi by icedcoffeebro

(8693 | General | WIP)

Sonny is part of the tech team in theatre, and Rafa is the understudy for the main role. They bump into each other more than once.

Taken from my brain during Stop-Motion class.

TW for mentions of parental abuse.

Do You Mind? by Larkin21

(11288 | Teen | Complete)

Pre-Barisi, set in early season 17. Barba's feelings toward Carisi grow beyond a grudging respect for a coworker, as told in missing moments from episodes 2-5.

This is the first part to a multi-part prequel for my story, Mind If I Drop Over? This part is Barba's POV and it's rated teen, mostly for language. All other parts of the series are (or will likely be) rated explicit.

Carisi's Goddamn Legs by juniperhoot

(11502 | Explicit | Complete)

Rafael Barba is obsessed with Sonny Carisi's legs. And the rest of him, come to think of it.

But damn, those legs.

Moments in Time by tobeconspicuous

(11640 | Teen | Complete)

When Catalina was a child she knew that there was something special about her. Her mother said magic flowed through their veins and that some people would never understand.

Catalina was unsure what her mother meant by that until one day when she was ten years old, she found a young boy in her backyard.

The truth within words by Subaruchan192

(11944 | Teen | Complete)

'Dear Rafael, You're gone. It's strange. It’s been a week since you left and yet I can still feel you here. I can feel your eyes on me, but when I turn no one is there. I hear your voice in the hall, but when I go around the corner it's someone else. You are gone, and it is strange, and it makes me sad every time.'

One week after Rafael Barba left without a word, Sonny can't stand all those words left unspoken anymore and decides to write a letter to express them. Along the journey, he discovers that he has been in love with Rafael for a long time only to realize that he is too late.

Or is he? Let's find out.

A Nice Young Man by Perpetual Motion (perpetfic)

(12767 | General | Complete)

After the events of episode 16.16 (Barba's grandmother passes) and 16.7 (Sonny's brother-in-law is assaulted by his female parole officer), Carisi reaches out to Barba because that's just his way. Barba is a bit confused about what to do about it all.

We're All Just Passing Through by nukablastr

(13790 | Teen | Complete)

After a series of disasters cause Rafael to miss the last train back to Boston, a chance encounter with a stranger may redefine what it means to go home.

Little One You Have To Take Better Care by MollyKillers

(19270 | General | Complete)

Everyone is born with a dragon inside them as a part of their soul.

Rafael believes because of the coldness in him his dragon is dead. However, when he meets Dominick (call me Sonny) Carisi something in him stirs.

Credo by snakeling

(19833 | Mature | Complete)

If a one night stand is the only way Sonny can have Rafael, he'll take it. But he wants so much more.

Catching Feelings by soul_writerr

(21034 | General | Complete)

Sonny and Rafael are such close friends that everyone around them thinks they're dating. They think that's hilarious, until Sonny starts dating someone else and Rafael realizes he made a huge mistake.

But now it's too late to fix it, so he tries to move on.

A Healing Year by adrianna_m_scovill

(24706 | Mature | Complete)

Rafael Barba learned how to protect his heart from the world, and he gave up on the hope of ever falling in love - until Sonny Carisi made him want all the things he'd accepted he would never have.

The Second Assistant by soul_writerr

(35357 | Teen | Complete)

Sonny is an idealistic, driven journalist who can't find a job. When he starts as Runway's Editor in Chief Rafael Barba's assistant, his life turns into a nightmare. Until it doesn't. And he gets better clothes out of it.

Devil Wears Prada AU.

#barisi #fic rec #themed list #master list #suggested by the creators #less than 1k #less thank 5k #less than 10k #10k to 25k #25k to 50k

[purge-that-urge-rhackathon]

not judging, i am genuinely curious, if you havent played tftbl, and havent finished bl2, how did you get into rhack? and let me say, for someone who hasnt played the games, your fics are really on point

I am flattered beyond measure, and also couldn’t keep this short because i love the topic, so i put it under a read more AHAH! ilu anon thank you xD

Hands down, the fanartists are to blame xD AHAHAH I vaguely knew who Handsome Jack was from a pop-culture perspective (and I never before liked that iconic style borderlands is known for, so I just played Fallout and Parasite Eve and Left 4 Dead and shit like that instead). Around the time Tales came out, I started seeing fanart of Rhys on my dash (and i was like HELLO who’s this pretty boy??)  and then of course rhack art started crossing my dash, and I got curious about the art I was seeing, and learned little things bit by bit until I was swallowed whole AHAHAH! :)

From the art, I started perusing fic (i’ve always been an avid book-reader so no fore-knowledge necessary for engagement/enjoyment of material; books usually come with even less exposure to the material than fanfic ahaha) and i was learning little things here and there from the way fic-writers wrote the characters and what types of characterizations I personally enjoyed :) I have a photographic memory as well so it just became applying what I learned from my own exposure to the medium to write up fic :) No different from having to write a term paper or graduate dissertation or whatever. I’m very good at taking in information and disseminating only what’s needed. So like, seeing certain concepts/products/in-world terms/etc. crop up in enough fics tells me that is something possibly essentially to look into world-building-wise. From there, it’s a simple googling for the term/item/in-world thing to understand what it is and from context, how to write it :)

I always wondered how people who could write (extensive) fic for stuff they’ve never read/played/watched first-hand could do it, and so well too (there used to be this Harry Potter writer that like… damn they were redonk good having NEVER seen the movies/read the books). It’s simple intake of information and analysis compared with current fandom trends to do the thing xD that’s kind of it hahha. I’m probably downplaying it, and truly i could write like 10k on the subject myself hahah but we can cut it all down to the AWESOME rhack fan-creator community, and the sheer volume of fic I’ve taken in since 2015 xD 

If you want to try to see behind the curtain so to speak as a demonstration of what I mean, go read my very-first rhack fic Bad Habits and consciously-compare it with any of my more recent work (anything from the bottom of the Jack/Rhys section in my fic archive or anything else post-2015; I add works chronologically on tumblr according to pairing; ao3 should have dates) and notice the lack of scenery-descriptions, location-details, or anything else that we might today consider to be ‘standard’ fic details now. My earlier stuff is definitely lacking in depth (also WAY shorter… most shit i write is like 8k now for one ‘chapter’) and you can see that, while not having those details, it does not detract from the story (so me playing the games to do the thing wasn’t actually necessary, especially with all the fanart– fanartists are VERY emotive in their work and that says a LOT about a character). :)

There’s only so much you can do with written-word vs. a visual media to have someone imagine something the way you want, and you have to be able to choose what is important that you want them to focus on. I majored in radio, tv, and film officially, and I’m sure part of the way I work is due to that area of study and expertise (even tho my degree is useless AHAHAH i wish i wouldve majored in linguistics xD). I know how to screen-write in both tv and film format (which are VERY different and require different skill sets), I understand how to tell a story/engage an audience through a visual-media that has to start out in text-format (have to visualize my product and correctly translate that to text for my instructions to be correctly carried out in the way i imagined by a third-party) and also comprehend who my audience for the piece is, and what they can understand from a comprehension level (not calling anyone dumb by any means, but i do have to dumb-down language at work sometimes because no one knows what an ‘epiphany’ is for example, but they all know ‘Aha!-moment’ agh haha) :D But there are a LOT of ways to write characters/stories without ever personally knowing the source material. Basically i take a fuckton of variables into consideration before crapping out a self-indulgent fic BAHAHA XD

OOOH ALSO! i listened to compilations of Jack’s lines on youtube to understand his speech patterns/attitude a bit better, and I saw a few clips here and there from Tales to kind of comprehend the same for Rhys. Voice actors are a goddamn treasure and make writing easier than if the only source material was a book and not a movie/videogame :D So yeah. thats kind of my ‘secret’ idk xD

Anyone who wants to extensively write, I’d suggest reading as many fucking books as you can get your hands on to expose yourself to as many writing styles/backgrounds/settings/storytelling-ability, and basically emulate it, or mush it all into something your own xD I used to judge books by their covers in highschool and just grab whatever, read it overnight, return it and get something else. I’m thirsty for information and knowledge. If i were a dragon, words would be my hoard AHAHAH XD ive had too much caffeine again today and am rambling but thanks anon! :D this shit fun, and it goes to show you DONT need the direct-thing to jump into having fun :D

#poisonjack answers #id say the way i latched onto this fandom when Tales came out too was largely due to depression. I was 3yrs into my gov. contract then #and i really wanted to go home so i was escaping hardcore. And like anything else- practice is key. im at 1million+ words and 160+ fics. #it might just also be my brain too idk. I have a good mind for words and information. Lord willing this administration goes down in flames #and then im gonna apply to the CIA properly. What i do in terms of how i write fic is how our country keeps tabs on other countries #so yeah idk it could be a huge mush of things but i'd credit mostly everything to devouring books. It expanded my mind #ive also shot multiple music videos and hosted a tv show for a year as well so like thats a visual/written media as well so its weird #its not so far a stretch to do is i think what im getting at. I wasnt out of college very long before my job in japan either so idk #it all worked out whatever. we made a dent in the nielsen ratings back when we did the show in 2010 so i must be doing SOMETHING right xD

[irwinkitten]

carry on | m.c

requested: kinda? it’s part two of the bi!reader series. pairing: bi!reader x Michael notes: so this is part two to the bi!reader series. i’ve been working on this for the last two? three? weeks now. i had only intended to be like, 5k at most? maybe 6k at a push. but here we are, 30k words later. just a quick thank you to @burncrashbromance for setting this series in motion (you can find in love here.) i would also like to thank @glitterprincelu, @astroashtonio , and @hereforlukescruff for being personal cheerleaders when i needed them. (especially to allie as well who let me use her name, i love u soulmate #1) i want to also thank @hotmessmichael who kept reminding me that it wasn’t entirely shit. also shout out to @calumh-excess for being moral support through the last half of the fic and reminding me to take sanity breaks. love u rum auntie h. massive shout out to the rest of the girls in the nothin’ but love gc too ( @notoriouslyhood, @meetashthere, @valentinelrh, @softforcal) y’all have been my fucking rocks when i wanted to smack my head against heavy objects. 

warnings: angst, fluff, very slow burn.  word count: thirty fucking thousand words. with a couple of extra.  (30,125 words to be precise. 79 pages in google docs.)

---

“Y/N, you need to go, you’ve still got to get through security!” Her mum called out, wrapping her daughter in a tight hug.

It was going to be a long flight to LA, and she was nervous as anything.

“Promise us you’ll at least call whilst you’re out there? I’m going to miss hearing you strumming away.” At this, she laughed, a soft grin on her lips as she kissed her mother's cheek.

“I promise. Please don’t make me cry, I’ve still got to say goodbye to Allie.” At this, her mum chuckled before planting another kiss to her forehead before letting her go.

Y/N practically threw herself in her girlfriend’s arms, peppering her face in kisses, earning a laugh from Allie.

“Look at you, getting your shot in LA. I’m so damn proud of you.” And she knew that her girl was over the moon, but the tears shared between the two still spoke of the worries and sadness they felt at the distance that was about to come between them.

“I’ll text as often as possible babygirl, I promise.”

“Y/N!” She groaned at her name being called before leaning forward, pressing a soft kiss goodbye to her girlfriend.

“I love you Allie, don’t forget that.”

And then she was practically rushing away, carry on in one hand with her guitar slung over her shoulder, waving to her girl and her family.

---

The journey felt exhausting. When she’d left, it had been eight am. Yet as she landed, the time told her it was only ten am and she quickly realised today was going to be a very long one.

Managing to get an Uber to the hotel that was booked for her, she got her stuff checked in and sent the message to her mum and Allie that she had arrived safely in LA and that she was setting off to explore for the day.

‘Take care of yourself’ came from her mother. ‘Eat all the ice cream you can today and send me selfies.’ came from Allie.

Sending a quick message to one of the producers she was meeting with the next day to let them know she’d arrived safely, she didn’t expect an invite for lunch in LA.

‘That way you’ll know a friendly face when you come into the studio and maybe we can talk over some of the ideas you have. It’s handy to go in prepared when you’re recording.’

And that was what led her to a small cafe, sat in the sunshine with John Feldmann.

“How are you liking LA so far?” She shrugged.

“It’s more humid than back in Britain. I don’t know how my hair is going to survive a month whilst we get this done.” John laughed.

“You’ll adapt. You’ll miss this humidity back home, I can bet it.”

“Oh I know I will.”

“I’ve managed to get one of the more bigger studios, I remembered you putting that small spaces whilst recording weren’t ideal?” At this, she laughed.

“It’s because I like to move. I can’t stay still unless I’m sat at the piano, but even then I’m more than likely rocking out.” John joined in with the laughter.

“I think I’m going to like working with you. I had to rearrange a few schedules, but overall none were bothered by it. I think we gave a few people the lie-ins the desperately wanted.”

“As long as I haven’t inconvenienced anyone. I’m still amazed that it was my track that was picked. Like, there were so many that seemed to much better than mine.” She admitted softly and John smiled. He knew the team had picked right.

“You simply turned the camera on and went for it. No recording equipment, no overlays of other instruments. Just you and the guitar. And it was such a refreshing and catchy sound, how could we not pick you?” Her cheeks had gone as red as a tomato.

“Glad to understand how I got picked. Honestly, this is like, a dream. Like, I’m gonna wake up in five minutes and my girl is gonna give me a kiss good morning before she’s off to work and then I’m gonna roll out of bed to my own job.” At this, John laughed.

“It can kind of feel that way sometimes. Did you want to head to the studio today to check out what you’re working with? I know today was meant to be introductory and giving you a chance to settle, but I know that knowing where you’re going into will help.” She nodded in understanding.

“Actually, I like the idea of that.”

---

The studio had been beyond her wildest dreams. The mixing board alone was bigger than her usual recording space, so the actual studio was a dream to be in.

She had met a few other faces that were going to be helping her and she recognised what John was doing. He was helping her build connections away from making the actual music.

But she networked herself well, managed to get a few details and her new start felt promising. She’d heard bad things about LA, but she knew that she needed to experience every bit of it to get her feet stuck in.

The day had felt like a whirlwind but it meant that at nine pm, she passed out having barely crawled under the covers.

The next day, felt almost like another whirlwind. Because she was staying in LA for the month, there was more time in the studio and with other writers to perhaps add or help adjust the songs.

What had pained her was having to pick a list of songs, so she simply brought the entire book that held her life in its pages, her heart and soul falling into the lyrics. It would be easier for others to see her work, to see the highest and lowest moments of her life.

And that was terrifying as fuck.

She greeted John with ease and she had to stop herself from having a starstruck moment as she realised who she was writing with.

“This is Alex Gaskarth and Michael Clifford, guys, this is Y/N.” John introduced and she shook their hands, her brain kicking into high gear as they sat down in the various chairs, a small coffee table between them.

“Nice to meet you. Feldy hasn’t shut up about finding real raw talent for the last week and a half.” This made her laugh.

“I just play the guitar and sing. If people see it as talented then I’ll roll with it. But it was hard earned talent.” Michael chuckled as he shook her hand.

“Good, it gives me less of a job when it comes to producing. I’ll be one of the producers for your EP.” She felt her lips grow even wider.

“Nice to know I’m in safe hands then.”

“Shall we get started?” Alex indicated to the book sat on the coffee table, and it was only a moment of hesitation before she nodded her head and opened it, sharing her fears and joys with total strangers to find and create the right songs.

---

The writing session seemed to be successful.

Finding the right songs seemed to take a lot of time, going over the melodies she had in her head which might or might not work, the others pitching their own ideas into the creation.

They had at least agreed on six songs, especially with both Alex and Michael finding songs that they refused to budge on, saying that both had to make the final EP list.

John had watched in amusement as they argued their cases for their picks to go on the list until Y/N had rolled her eyes at both of them and added them to the list, making both men pause. John chuckled.

“Don’t worry about that last spot, the record company agreed to seven anyway, which means you can still record the cover.” He reassured her and she relaxed a little bit. That then sent the two men into a mode of writing a list of songs that would make a potential album if she were ever to do one.

“With so many songs, and so many ideas, you might as well use this opportunity to get a tracklist for a potential album and maybe some demo versions. If you get picked up by a record label, if you’re prepared, you’ll shoot straight to the top.” Alex explained and she nodded her head.

“We made that mistake when we signed with Capitol. We only had an EP that we’d produced ourselves, but there was no album music. It took us another six months before we got there and it was in between tours. We realised fast, that anything we wrote or created need to be noted down as possibilities.” Michael continued and she found herself amused but understood the help they were offering.

So they continued through the songs, creating the tracklist as if she were making an album as well.

Eventually, time ran out for that day and Y/N stretched the kinks from her back as they stood up and exchanged numbers.

“We should be able to get that first beat tracked, and if you’re cool with it, could I bring a couple of friends who could help us with the rhythm on the last few songs? I’ve got a good beat but Ash is the only person who will be able to translate what I’m trying to explain.”

“Wait, you’re asking me?” The question had fallen from her lips before her cheeks flushed in shock. “Wait, sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so rude---uh---the last person I tried to produce with, they just brought people in and honestly, it made me hate the song.”

Michael frowned at her words before shaking his head.

“No, no, don’t apologise. That’s why I wanted to ask your permission. You don’t just bring people in.” Her scoffed and she chuckled.

“I think I can trust you to make sure that the beats wont get lost in translation.” Almost immediately, the book was opened to a semi-fresh page, the words being written down in a margin.

The three males all laughed as she snapped the book shut.

“You’re a breath of fresh air. C’mon, I’m hungry and we need to get to know you as a person, not just this British artist who struck gold.” Alex slung an arm over her shoulder and the group left the studio.

She could feel her excitement build in her stomach in anticipation of the next four weeks.

As promised, Michael had roped in his bandmates, Calum and Ashton to help with the rhythm on a few of her songs and when Ashton managed to understand what Michael was trying to convey, she felt her heart soar as the song began to craft itself.

That was when she very quietly asked if they could re-record the song she’d lost love for.

John was immediately for it and the others couldn’t find a reason to say no, so they listened to the song.

“The tune is right, but there’s too much going on. It’s like they were trying to sabotage your work or attempt to make house music. Still figuring that out.” Ashton muttered, making her laugh .

“I think it was more sabotage than anything, but I felt that I could never release the song. They absolutely ruined the song which I loved so much and I just, didn’t know how to make it good again. But seeing you get what Michael was trying to say, I want to trust myself and my instincts and actually get across the sound I want.”

So it became another brainstorming session. Thankfully, this was a full studio day, so Ashton had her play the bare tune on the guitar, nothing else as he got a feel for the stripped back version.

Calum, as she played, plucked a few strings and suddenly this riff was born and they were all thankful that Michael had set his phone to record these sessions.

It was with relief when they’d tracked the music and Michael promised he’d work on it separately to the EP.

“Consider it a special release. It’s the one song you loved, so it gets to be a single.” He shrugged and suddenly it felt very real to her.

The time difference between her and Allie made it a pain occasionally, especially when she’d called Allie on the break they had and lost track of time to the point that one of the boys had to come out to get her, but they didn’t give her grief for it.

“It’s difficult when your loved ones are in a totally different timezone.” John had smiled after another apology fell from her lips. “We get it, so don’t fret.”

“It’s just, with this chance I’ve had, my girl went for the promotion offer they had and she managed to get it. So she wanted to call me before they headed out to celebrate.” This earned her soft smiles from the guys.

As they tracked the various parts, they began to ask Y/N questions about home which also led to questions about Allie.

“How long have you two been together?”

“We celebrate two years at the end of next month.” The grin had already worked its way onto her lips. “Doing this distance is difficult, it was bad enough when I was doing small tours as a support and she couldn’t come with me. But she’s been one of the biggest supports, even before we started dating.”

“What, so you were friends to lovers?” Alex teased and the answering grin made him laugh.

“We were. We were the real cliche couple and everyone both loved and hated us for it.” This drew laughter from the group.

“Well at least we know who to rely on for the cheesy one liners and love songs.” This earned a snort of amusement.

“Please, my love songs pale in comparison. I mean, Stella is the best love song out there.” This set the group off in laughter again as she got called up to track the guitar.

---

As the month carried on, Y/N was introduced to so many faces at various functions and small parties that the guys hosted.

They had taken her to one of the open mic nights, getting her up on the stage in front of a different crowd to see how people would react and they loved her.

Especially when Ashton streamed one of the songs on Instagram and soon her socials were gaining a lot of traction and that was when the pressure was beginning to get felt with producing the tracks.

There were both good and bad days, the good days outweighing the bad, but sometimes they used the bad days to fuel the more emotional songs and that was when things began to fall into place.

It was at the end of the month after their final day in the studio that Michael had called Y/N as she was packing.

“I know you’re probably packing up, but you’ve still got three days in LA before you fly home. The guys and I were wondering if we could have a small get together to celebrate this new born friendship in the hopes that you’ll remember us when you’re rich and famous.” This had her laughing.

“Give me a couple of hours. I’m waiting for a call from Allie. I’ll text you when I’m done, yeah?”

“Sure, I’ll pick you up from the hotel.” And before she could protest, the call was cut.

When Allie called, she found herself smiling at how soft her girl looked, settled in bed with the duvet pulled around her, tired eyes lighting up.

“Hi baby.”

They talked about the last few days of the studio, as well as how Allie was settling into her newest role. She told her about the party and that it felt strange that they’d included her in their friendship group but Allie giggled.

“You’ve got friends for life in them, I can see it. I can’t wait to have you back in my arms.”

“A few more days and I’ll be home. Listen, I know it’s getting late. Get some rest baby, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Good luck with work.”

“You’re too sweet. Love you.”

“Love you too, night.”

The call cut and she lay back on the bed for a moment, a wide smile on her lips before she finally sent a text to Michael.

‘Just got off the phone to Allie. Give me a bell when you get here.’

It was easy to find some of the nicer clothes she had for get togethers, but she knew it was going to be more relaxed. So she kept it easy with black skinny jeans and a floral print dress shirt.

Keeping it simple with her hair down and light make-up, when Michael sent her the text  to say he’d arrived, she was ready to go. Making sure she had her keycard and phone, she headed down and found Michael’s car easily.

The drive to his place had been filled with easy chatter. They talked about the chances of radio play and touring.

“To have my own tour would be the goal, but I know I need to start off as a support. Build up the fanbase and get people excited for my music before doing something like that.” Michael laughed.

“Nothing wrong with being a support. We never had the experience of being support for various acts. We got lucky with One Direction and then we were doing our own shows and having other bands support us. It was crazy.” This had made the both them them laugh as he pulled up to his place.

“I remember. I’ve been a fan of the band for a long time.” She teased him with a laugh. “Although I wouldn’t say no to being a support act for Harry Styles.”

“I don’t know whether to be amused or offended.” His lips turned into a pout as they entered his place and heads turned to greet the newcomer.

“Y/N! Nice to see you finally made it. Why is Mike pouting?”

“Because I said that I wouldn’t say no to being a support act for Harry Styles.” She deadpanned before grinning.

“Ouch. You wound us all.” Ashton clutched at his heart, making her laugh as she accepted a beer from Calum and sat down.

“Have you heard his heavenly voice? Please. I would die every night on the tour listening to him sing.”

“You’re digging the knife in here, you’ve literally got at least three other bands sat with you and you’re talking about Harry Styles.” She laughed loudly.

“C’mon, I know y’all play his album. You can’t deny the truth.”

They laughed as the conversation settled into talks of the future for the bands and the shows coming up, as well as the finished music.

“What about you, Y/N?” Her reverie broke as she looked up at Alex’s question.

“Sorry, I missed what you asked.”

“What are your plans for the future career wise?”

“Hopefully get this EP out, maybe get some bookings. I’m gonna have to do a lot of gigging to keep up my end of the rent till the EP gets released and just hope that I get picked up for a couple of tours.”

“Allie holds the nine to five job then?” Luke queried and she nodded.

“She got lucky with the company she’s with. She’s done nothing but thrive, whereas I was barely struggling through each day at my old job. This came at the right time for me, and I’m a big believer in fate.” They lifted their beers in response to that.

“Well, that’s what we also wanted you around for.” Luke began, sharing a glance with his bandmates.

“We want you to join us for the entirety of the world tour.” Michael finished and she felt her jaw drop as her mind worked out the dates and the countries.

“Holy shit, are you serious?” She sucked in a sharp breath, placing the bottle down as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Are you really fucking serious?” This earned her a few chuckles.

“Absolutely. We managed to convince our management that you’d be a good opener for the tour. And we even gave them a firm reason why you’d be a good fit for the tour.” Michael continued the explanation before tapping away at his phone.

Suddenly, familiar guitar notes began playing through the speakers and a wave of emotion flooded her, tears falling as the song she had long hated, began to play and she felt her heart swell.

“Well done, you made her cry.” John joked as she hastily wiped at the tears as the song finished and she laughed.

“You helped bring life back into a song I thought I was going to hate forever. You don’t know how much this means to me.” She finally got out and Michael beamed.

“We played it to our management and they absolutely loved it. There’s an official offer coming your way, but we wanted to be the first ones to actually ask and then congratulate you.”

“How can I say no? Oh my god you assholes!” This set off more laughter as they lifted their bottles.

“To the best fuckin’ tour and the next number one artist.” Michael chimed and she could feel her face flush at his words.

“To Y/N!” Everyone else responded and she laughed as she took a swig of beer with them, realising how fast everything was going to change now.

---

When the official offer came through the next morning, she called up Michael and just let out a shriek of excitement before he’d even greeted her.

This led him to laughing as she tried to get her words out, but only could make incoherent noises over the phone.

“That offer is a fucking dream! Michael what the hell did you four do to convince them?” Her brain and mouth had finally connected, the stunned shock wearing off as excitement began to build .

“We didn’t do anything! And good morning to you too, sunshine.” She could hear the yawn and glanced at the time.

“It’s ten am, Michael.”

“I know. In my time, that makes it like, seven am.” He muttered and she laughed.

“I have so many questions about touring though, and what I should pack. Fuck, this is going to be nine months and I’ve only toured for two weeks at most. I haven’t even told Allie yet, or my parents. What about-”

“Stop, please.” Michael whinged down the phone, making her pause her tirade. “Give me till lunch and we’ll bombard Ashton’s place for a group meeting so you know what to expect on tour.” She let out a shaky breath as she regained herself, stopping the flow of questions that were desperately trying to escape.

“Alright. I’ll hold off from telling them. Uh, would-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll pick you up. Just be ready by one.” She let out a noise of relief and Michael laughed.

“Thank you Mike, see you in a few hours.” The call was cut and her eyes returned to the contract, her eyes going over every last part of it as she tried to get it into her head that this was really going to happen.

“Holy fuck, they’re never gonna believe this.” She muttered to herself as she half flung herself on the bed before an excited squeal left her lips.

---

Michael was leaning against the car waiting for her and he grinned as she ran from the doors of the hotel, half flinging herself at him, arms winding around his neck. His arms wound around her waist as he pulled her tightly.

“Well that’s a greeting and a half.”

“You guys got me on a nine month fucking tour, majority of my merch profits staying with me and a fucking record deal. How?” She pulled back, her lips in the biggest grin he’d seen the entire trip.

“We just showed them you. It was all of your talent that did it. They were really impressed by your work ethic, you didn’t slack during the production of your EP and they think that you’ve got some serious potential. I swear to you, we didn’t even have any kind of say. We just told them that we wanted you on the tour with us. It was management who decided to put you with us for the entire tour. As your stuff gets out and people get to know who you are, they’re almost certain you’ll be performing at award shows.” He explained as the two of them got into his car.

“Please don’t tease.” She whispered in shock and he laughed.

“You’d deserve it. Those songs fucking rule. Have you talked a release date for the EP?”

“They wanted it released at the end of January but decided to release it in March, before we fly out. They want fans to have time to learn my stuff and really get excited. Fuck, if this goes in the direction that you’re telling me, I’m going to have some kind of heart attack.” Michael laughed.

“Simply speaking it into existence. Y/N is going to have a number one award winning single and album. She is also going to play at awards shows and get nominations for awards. Best newcomer definitely.” His voice grew louder and she laughed, tears in her eyes.

“That’s the dream right there.”

“It’s gonna happen.” He smirked at her before pulling into Ashton’s drive.

“Please, when you guys release your album, mine will pale in comparison.” This had the two of them grinning as they entered the house.

Despite the drive having quietened her initial excitement, she couldn’t stop herself when she spotted the guys and gave them the same reaction that Michael had received.

This earned laughter from all of them, including Alex and John who were stood away from the group. But that didn’t stop her from giving them the same treatment.

“You guys have literally made every dream come true in the last month. I don’t know how to thank you guys for it, like, this is such an opportunity and I have so many questions about touring for so long. The longest I’ve gone on a tour is two weeks, yet this is nine months, touring the world twice. Not to mention-” Michael’s hand shot out, covering her mouth and stopping her in her tracks.

Calum snapped a photo as they laughed.

“Will you relax. You’ve got the pros of touring for long periods to help you and the old timers who have their own tricks.” Luke commented, ducking away from the punch that John sent to his arm, only to find himself in a headlock with Alex.

“Watch who you call oldtimer, kid.” They seemed to collapse into the couch in a heap and whilst they playfully wrestled about, the others egging the pair on, Michael slowly moved his hand from Y/N’s lips.

“Breathe. We’re here to help you prepare for this because we recognise that it’s a big jump from doing small tours to the longest tour of your career which goes around the world twice.” She let out a breath of air before nodding and grinning at Michael as he slung his arm across her shoulders.

“Quit playing about, we have a nervous artist who is about to get chucked in with the sharks.” He called over the noise and both Luke and Alex seemed to finally still, Luke’s head now resting in Alex’s lap, making her giggle as Calum shoved Luke’s legs off the sofa and sat down.

Once they were all seated, she went over the list of questions she’d mentally prepared and found herself tapping her fingers together, the excitement and anxiety seeming to kick in.

Part of her was dreading the prep for tour.

“Equipment. They want me to have a touring band which I have no issues with. But with the kit and stuff, I don’t know what’s going to happen there.” John smiled at that.

“They’ve already got a touring band ready for you. Most artists have their own, but the label want people who are familiar with the longer tours. What will happen with your own kit, so guitar and piano as well as any extra strings and the like, they’ll get a date set up for pick up. You just need to be ready. Keep one guitar with you at least as a just in case.” He explained and Michael nudged her, nodding to his phone that was recording.

“Okay, so something more simpler. Packing. What the fuck do I pack?”

“Don’t bother with hair products. You’ll be sharing our stylist on that. For each country, pick out several stage outfits that can get packed separately. That way they’ll be taken to the venue with everything else.” Luke explained and she found herself nodding once more.

“Pack for every kind of weather. Doesn’t matter if we’re at the start of the Australian summer, the weather can be so unpredictable. Try to pack at least three cases. One for light weight summer type clothing, one for the heavier stuff, so jeans, jackets and the like. Then one for shoes, towels and necessities. It might seem a lot now, but as you’re on the road, you realise how quick you go through things.” Ashton added on and she let out a soft ‘oh’.

“This is going to seem like a lot to begin with,” Alex started, catching her attention, “but in comparison, this is a small start to the list. You’ll most likely come home with another two suitcases, which management will probably pay for so don’t fret about having to buy one on the road. You will literally be packing up the majority of your life and putting it in a suitcase to travel with you. And that’s going to be tough to do, especially with your girl waiting at home for you.”

She could feel her heart sink a little bit. Nine months away from Allie.

“I think that’s gonna be the hardest part. How do you deal with that?” Her eyes drifted to John and Alex, and the boys didn’t take offence to the slight snub.

“It takes time and patience. There are going to be days where all you’ll get are a quick five minute call because of time difference. And it’s shit. But she can always fly out for a few days on tour, or whilst we’re over in England she can come to the shows and travel with us. It’s about compromising your time. You both have super important jobs and it just means you’ve gotta work at it.” John explained and she ran her fingers through the ends of her hair, tugging slightly.

“I’m just worried. It’ll be the longest we’ve been apart.”

“It’s tough. But she’ll stand by you. But you’ve both got to talk it out, so any frustrations. Because when that builds up, that leads to arguments and then that’s when problems start happening.” Alex chimed in and she let off a soft sigh.

“Okay, so I’m guessing that’s basics of tour, what about time off?”

—

When Y/N landed back home, she’d never felt more relief flood her than the moment her arms were wrapped around Allie tightly, her lips against hers as she savoured the sweet moment of reunion.

“Hi baby.” Her voice was soft and sweet, and she felt her insides turn to mush.

“Hi. I’ve missed you.” Allie beamed, pressing another soft kiss to her girlfriend’s lips.

“Good. Your mum has already asked us to drop by for dinner tonight, so they can badger you about your time in LA. And I know you’ll be wide awake because of the time difference.” Allie teased her as they began the walk back to the car.

“Honestly, I could go on for days about how good LA was to me. Like, little old me, meeting all of the fuckin’ big wigs in the industry. I had Michael god-damn Clifford producing my EP and I formed a friendship with him? My teenage self combusted the second he shook my hand.” Allie laughed as they got her stuff into the boot of the car before they got into the car themselves.

The car journey back home from the airport was filled with Y/N prying information about their various friends whilst she’d been away as well as the promotion Allie had landed and the perks of the job.

Amidst getting the masses of washing done, and reconnecting after a month apart, it was as they lay in bed together, Allie’s finger tracing against the skin of her back that made her feel like it was a bittersweet moment.

But she couldn’t say anything just yet.

When the two had reached her mum’s place, questions came from every corner of the room it felt like, but it was when she laughed and held up her hands, she beamed at them.

“Let me tell you everything that happened. And then I have some news.”

She tried not to feel guilty at the stare that Allie gave her, recounting each moment of good, bad and downright embarrassing.

Y/N’s mum was particularly gleeful as she told them about the bigger names she’d met over there.

“My baby, all grown up with the best chance possible for her career!” This made her flush. Her mum had been one of her biggest supporters for her career choice and she could see the relief in her mum's face as she went on about the recording opportunity.

“The last day was kind of bittersweet in the studio, but the boys were so nice and even had a get together to celebrate the fact the songs were done. Michael had even fast tracked the productions of one of my very first songs.”

And she pulled her phone out, clicking play on the file that Michael had sent her a few days ago after playing it for her.

Watching the joy on her mum’s face warmed her heart, even if a few tears were shed in the process. Allie’s jaw was hanging slightly before a wide smile overtook her lips and she pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“I’m so damn proud of you.”

“That brings me to the surprise.” She murmured softly, her eyes travelling to each family member before settling on Allie.

“They want me to join them on their tour.”

“For the UK portion? Oh my god that’s amazing!” Her mum was gushing but Y/N shook her head.

“They want me on their entire tour. Around the world twice.”

No one was prepared for the scream of excitement that escaped her mum before she found herself being wrapped around by her family members. Her eyes were watching as it hit Allie and she could see the excitement die down in her girlfriends face, and she felt her heart sink.

“That’s nine months.” Allie whispered and she nodded her head, pulling free from her mum’s embrace.

“It’s going to be tough, but the guys have offered ways for us to still keep in touch. You can always fly out for long weekends and of course, we have the UK tour later in the year as well.”

“That’s going to be three quarters of the year, Y/N. It’s a lot.”

“Please, can we talk about it at home? They’ve given us options, ways to keep up with each other.” Her pleas seem to break through and Allie’s lips pushed up into a smile as she draped an arm over her shoulders.

“I’m still proud of you baby.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to her temple and she relaxed.

“I love you.” Came the murmured response and they shared a soft, but sweet kiss before her mum started asking about the details of the tour.

—

When the New Year rolled in, the first single was released to the world and her voice was on chart shows across the world.

It took seven solid minutes for her to stop crying when the notifications came through along with the messages.

Michael had taken a short video of her song playing in the car and she felt like she couldn’t breathe for a moment because it was her song, a song she had hated so much but then fell in love with all over again. And it was being requested and played on American radios.

Allie was proud as punch.

They seemed to avoid the elephant in the room that was her leaving for tour in just over a month  and a half.

That was when she really began rehearsing, making sure the setlist was long enough for her time slot. It felt like the busiest days of her life, being shuttled to the big cities for radio interviews.

Her face seemed to be popping up everywhere and it felt like a dream when she received the news that she’d hit number one in thirteen countries.

That in itself had made her openly weep in the middle of her baking day with her mum as she got the news, her mum videoing and laughing at her reaction.

She posted it to her instagram with the caption ‘the moment you’re told that you’ve hit number one in thirteen countries and all you can do is cry in shock and joy.’ The reaction went viral.

Of course she then received the texts from the last producer, asking why he wasn’t getting a cut of the money from the track.

It was with great glee as she told him that it wasn’t his pile of shit on the radio. It was her song and no one else’s. She didn’t need to tell him that one of her favourite bands had helped record and produce the song.

When she received the pick up day for her equipment, that was when it was becoming very real. That was also when she convinced Allie to go clothes shopping with her for tour.

With the day creeping closer, she could feel the undercurrent that was restless between her and her girlfriend, but every time she tried to address it, Allie shut her down, seemingly ignoring the problem.

She spent as much of her free time with her friends, family and girlfriend until it was the night before and she was lay in bed, trembling from the fear of what the next nine months could bring.

A warm arm wrapped around her waist, a soft kiss being pressed against the back of her neck and she slowly relaxed herself. It would be fine.

“You’ve got this, baby. But you need some rest.” The soft whisper was enough of a plea for her to turn around and just allow herself to be held as she tried to relax enough so that she could get some sleep.

It didn’t work.

Saying goodbye this time was much more harder because Allie hadn’t been able to get the day off work to see her off. So it was a tearful goodbye between the two of them as they held each other in the doorway, Allie’s lips lingering a little bit longer before finally pulling away and smiling softly, despite her tears.

“You’ll be back over here soon enough. I love you my little rockstar. Go do what you’re best at.” By the time that Allie had left, she had to call her mum to pick her up.

Thankfully, her mum didn’t make any remarks on the tear tracks as they made their way to the airport. And once they’d checked in her bags, a weird sense of deja vu hit.

“Last time we stood here, I was going for a month. Now I’m going for nine.” She whispered and her mum held her tightly.

“You’re about to fly off and live your dream. I’m beyond proud of you for this, please don’t ever think otherwise. Now, you need to get going. You are not going to be leaving things last minute like last time.”

She laughed for the first time that day and it felt like a weight disappeared from her shoulders and she knew she’d be okay.

The flight wasn’t so bad.

She had a reasonable seat, and for the most of it, she slept. She knew she would probably regret it later, but at that point, she was beyond caring. She was so tired and the stress was sat on her shoulders.

She knew her equipment had arrived, she’d been sent the message from one of the tour crew who was already out there.

The next two weeks would be rehearsal with her touring band and then they were off on the first leg of the tour.

And that absolutely frightened her beyond belief.

She wasn’t expecting a welcome party at the airport, but she was amazed that fans were crowded around, calling her name out.

Security were quick to pull her back away from the chaos of arrivals and she could feel her adrenaline kicking in, her heart racing as she tried to comprehend that they were screaming her name. Hers.

“Ma’am we need to get you out of the airport as safely as possible. Do you have a ride waiting for you already?” She felt like a deer in headlights before the security officer lifted a hand, touching the earpiece sat in his ear.

“One of my colleagues has picked someone up who apparently says he’s partially to blame for the fans showing up. A Luke Hemmings?” Relief

“Yeah, I’m due to go on tour with his band in a couple of weeks, but I wasn’t expecting him to be here.” The guard laughed.

“It’s fine, but we need to get you both out safely. My colleague is bringing him through now.” And that was when she saw the blonde curls and laughed before throwing her arms around Luke’s tall frame.

He laughed as he pulled her into a tight hug.

“Figured you’d appreciate a familiar face. A lot of them were waiting for you, then I only added to the madness. You gonna be alright till we get out of here?”

“Gonna have to be. Can I use you a shield?” He laughed.

“Keep your hands on my shoulders and we’ll get you through. Is someone going to follow with her luggage?” The question was directed to the guard who nodded his head.

“C’mon then princess, time to face the fans and get you out of here. We’ve all been super excited to have you back.” He beamed as they began their journey.

The screams grew louder and she found herself shying away, using Luke as a shield and smiling nervously at the few fans she could see.

Once they were out of the airport and in the car, Luke took one of her trembling hands and squeezed.

“You did the worst of it. There’ll be more of us around in a couple of weeks to keep them from getting too overwhelming.” He explained and she simply nodded.

“It’s okay, it was just, wow. That’s a lot.”

“That’s America for you.” He shot back dryly, making her laugh.

“So what hotel have they stuck you in this time?”

“Uh, I don’t know. They never sent any details about that. I’m trying not to freak out about it, but like, I haven’t got that much to cover two and a bit weeks in a hotel.” Luke groaned.

“Did you call your manager?”

“Said it was being sorted. Heard nothing since.” Luke snorted before tapping away at his phone and the music died down as the ringing began to call through.

“Hemmings, you have two weeks before you need to start incessantly calling me.” A feminine voice broke through and he laughed.

“Hello to you too Luce. However I’m not calling for me. I’ve just picked up Y/N.”

“Hi Lucy.” She piped up.

“Y/N! Keely has been trying to call you, said something about Michael stepping in and saying that he could put you up for the two weeks.” She shot Luke a look and he shrugged.

“That’s cool. He say why or am I gonna have to try and find that out for myself?” She laughed.

“Said something about one of the songs for the album and it’s easier to work at his home studio and you won’t have to worry about driving around LA.”

“Cool. Thank you for letting me know. Tell Keely I say that I’m sorry I haven’t been able to answer my phone and I’ll see her next week.”

“Will do. See you next week Luke.” The call cut and he laughed as the music began to grown in volume once more.

“So, album huh?” At this he watched as her lips turned up into the widest grin.

“Alex, John and Michael helped me pick out a tracklist for a potential album. I’ve not had much time, but if we get some demos done, I can go to the record company and they’ll be able to work with the fact that I have got music coming, so they don’t need to breathe down my neck. Alex’s idea.” Luke laughed as he pulled into a drive thru.

“Why am I not surprised. What do you want? You’ve just landed, you’ve gotta be starving.”

After picking her favourites, Luke paid at her protest and smirked.

“It’s food. Shut up and deal with the fact that we do look after our friends. Also if it bugs you that much, you can just buy me dinner whilst we’re on the road.”

“A not date, considering we’re both taken then?” She teased in returned and he grinned.

“A not-date it is. Now we know where we’re going, let's get you to Michael’s to drop your gear off. I know the guys are wanting to head out but I also know that if you’re going to try and keep up,  you’re going to want to be in something that isn’t joggers and a baggy t shirt.” She pouted at the assessment.

“I won’t try to keep up, but no, I really do not need my first official night out to be photographed and I’m in my rattiest clothing pieces.” Luke snorted as they collected their food and headed back out once more.

As they pulled into Michael’s place, Luke helped her get her cases from the boot before he was leading her into the home.

“I’ve picked up a stray!” Luke yelled, making her laugh. “She’s cute and British.” He added after a second once they’d placed her bags at the bottom of the steps.

He placed his hands on her shoulder and practically frog marched her out to the back and she didn’t even get to say ‘hi’ when she was pulled into a tight hug.

“Hi Ash.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around him in return.

“Hey yourself Y/N. Welcome back to LA, knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away.” He teased, pulling away and giving her a grin. She smirked in return.

“Just couldn’t stay away from this beautiful weather. Maybe one or two people. Go by the names of Gaskarth and Feldmann.” Calum snorted as he pulled her into another tight hug.

“I’m wounded, I didn’t even make it onto your list?” He pouted at her and she snorted.

“No, but Duke did.” This set the other boys off before Michael greeted her, his hug a lot more softer than the others, but still feeling as welcoming.

“I know I should’ve told you before you left England that you were staying with me, but I’d completely forgotten till Keely called me, yelling that she couldn’t get ahold of you. By that point, you were already well into the air.” She shook her head as she accepted a beer off Calum and sat down with them, enjoying the warmth of the LA afternoon.

“It’s fine. I’m just lucky that I’d texted Luke when I left. He decided to be my welcome committee.”

“Myself and like a hundred and more fans.” He shot back with a grin.

“That was strange. Especially when they were calling my name, like that felt so surreal. I didn’t really know what to do with myself.” They descended into laughter as she finished off the food that she and Luke had picked up on the way there.

The boys were discussing the various countries and Y/N could feel herself nodding off against Calum’s shoulder, the beer and warmth not helping her jet lag at all.

“C’mon Y/N. You need to get ready if we want to be out at a reasonable time.” Luke teased and she flipped him off before sighing.

“One of you boys want to help me get the cases upstairs?” Calum pushed himself off the seat and followed after her, picking up the heaviest of the three.

“You excited?”

“Scared.” She admitted quietly as they reached the guest room that Michael had directed her to.

“Why?” Once the cases were pushed against the wall Calum pulled her to the edge of the bed, taking a seat and pulling her next to him. She didn’t fight it, her entire body still feeling exhausted.

“This is the biggest tour of my life. Probably will be the biggest tour of my entire career. Allie wouldn’t even talk to me about the fact I was leaving, and I feel so overwhelmed.” After the quiet admittance came relief that she’d gotten it off her chest.

“It’s going to terrify the fuck out of you. Playing to so many people. When you’re ready to leave tonight, just give me a heads up and we’ll go. This is a lot to deal with on your first night out in LA with us.” She snorted out a giggle, resting her head on Calum’s shoulder.

“My life is an open book for people to read. I never knew it could be this terrifying to have so many people judge you.”

“It gets easier. I’ll let you get changed and then we’ll head out.”

It took a while before she felt like she’d picked an appropriate dress. And the whistles of appreciation she received made her bashful before laughing.

“It’s a good job I’m taken. Someone snap a photo for me please.” She held her phone out, Ashton taking it off her hands and capturing a few photos.

She sent them to Allie.

‘I know it’s late for you my love, but I hope I picked something you’d like for a nightclub in LA. Speak to you tomorrow.’

They split between two ubers, Ashton and Michael piling with Y/N in one, Calum and Luke taking the other as they made their way to the club.

Unsurprisingly, they could spot the paps easily.

“Can you drop us just around that corner mate?” Ashton called over and the driver nodded. Michael shot off a text to Luke and she could feel her hands begin to tremble.

“Holy shit this is a lot.” She murmured as they left the car, keeping out of sight from the paps.

“It’s going to be a lot. Keep your eyes forward and smile, try not to hide too much, they’ll try to make up some bullshit to start rumours.” Ashton explained quietly, rubbing the top of her shoulders carefully.

When Luke and Calum arrived they finally made a decision on how to go in.

“I’ll keep ahead, Y/N, don’t fall behind because they will swarm you. You’re the freshest face in the music charts and they’re going to eat this up that you’re out clubbing with us.” It was a relief that Ashton was taking charge, but her hands still trembled as she nodded in understanding.

“No falling behind. Cool. I’m going to hide behind Cal and Luke then.” Michael laughed

“C’mon, it won’t be too bad.”

As they made their way the short distance to the club, paps calling out their names and snapping photos, she could feel herself plaster a smile on for the photos, but there was another brief thought of how rude they were being.

“Who would you date from the boys of 5SOS?”

“Are you sleeping with any of them?”

“How did you get on this tour when practically no one’s heard of you?”

By the time she was in the club with them, she wanted to go back home. But she’d promised she’d stay out for a few hours and that was what she was going to do.

When the first round of drinks came in, she didn’t argue them buying her drinks. She knew this was their way of welcoming her back into their lives properly, especially since they were about to embark on a nine month tour that went across the world twice.

She danced and sang her heart out, laughing when Ashton stumbled over his own feet and Calum had caught it all on camera, laughing as he did so.

It was when the time crept towards midnight, despite the loud music, she had her head resting against Calum’s shoulder and her eyes were half shut.

“You ready to go, doll?” She nodded her head, the exhaustion hitting her like a freight train as Calum helped her stand up and she lost her balance almost immediately, her saving grace being that Michael was stood up and caught her before she hit the floor.

“How much have you had to drink?” He called over the music, she shrugged.

“Four, maybe five? Mostly tired.” She half shouted back and he grimaced before looking over to Calum.

“Got it mate. Uber is on its way. Do you want some help?” Michael shook his head as he pulled her arm over his shoulders, tugging her to the smokers area which was more secluded and less noise.

“We need to get back through the paps, but I need you to try and stay upright and walk by yourself. Can you do that?”

Calum looked at her, his eyes watching the way as she seemed to draw in some strength from somewhere as her back straightened up and she plastered on a big, but clearly tired smile.

“Lead the way. I’m ready to crash.”

Getting through the paps was easy, even if more questions were being yelled at them both.

But the second the uber was peeling away from the frenzy they left Calum to deal with, her head was resting on Michael’s shoulder before a soft snore escaped and he laughed quietly.

Unable to help himself, he snapped a selfie of the two of them.

When the Uber pulled up to his place, it took a few tries before he managed to pick her up carefully, her head nestled against his neck as he fumbled with the key and got them in.

It took him a further twenty minutes to get her up the stairs and set her down on her bed before finally trying to wake her up.

She wasn’t amused.

“Look, all I want is to make sure you get a reasonable amount of sleep tonight, and you sleeping in that dress wasn’t going to happen. You don’t need to do anything apart from get changed, that’s it.” He pleaded with her exhausted form.

“Fine.” Came the muttered response as she kicked her shoes off, standing up slowly and Michael disappeared to his own room to get changed himself.

When he returned to check up on her, he found his lips pulling back at the sight before him. She was passed out, half under the covers, hair splayed all over her pillow and a soft snore escaping once more .

He switched the light off before heading to his own bed, draining a glass of water before crashing out on his own bed, a sigh of relief escaping him as he melted into mattress.

When she woke up the next morning, a raging headache and exhaustion to boot, she tried not to think about how her stomach was rolling in ways that was sure to make her throw her guts up if she moved.

Michael had other plans apparently.

“C’mon sunshine. We’ve got breakfast and then we’re lounging in the sun whilst talking music. I’m not gonna make you work too hard after last night.” He’d stuck his head around the door and she groaned in return.

“I would call you the worst, but I feel like I drank too much last night.” She grumbled before pulling herself from her covers.

She made it two steps before she had to pause, the nausea hitting her hard and Michael snickered.

“I’ll be downstairs. The shower is easy to work, even in your state.” She flipped him off with her eyes shut, making him laugh as he disappeared downstairs.

It took her another five minutes to move again, and despite the way her stomach was rolling inside of her, the hot water did wonders for the headache that had formed.

Once she was changed into a clean shirt that didn’t reek of booze and some sleep shorts, the warm sunshine making it an easy choice for her, she headed downstairs.

“Looking worse for wear today then, Y/N.” A familiar voice greeted and she flipped Alex off before heading into the kitchen to find a plate of cooked food waiting or her. Grabbing a glass and filing it with water before picking up the plate, she followed the voices back into the living room.

“We not sitting outside?”

“I figured to give your eyes a bit of a break.” Michael smirked and she rolled them in response.

“Any glaring articles about the state I was in last night?” Alex grimaced.

“A couple. Of course there was the standard one about you possibly sleeping with Michael or Calum. They then corrected themselves when someone pointed out you were in a relationship with a woman.” This made her groan before she slumped over on the cushions.

“This is gonna be my life now, isn’t it?”

“Price you pay for dreams.” Alex teased and she groaned.

“Please, never quote your own song back at me. Ever.” Both he and Michael laughed before Michal pulled out his phone, clicking play on the audio file he pulled up.

The riff that came through his phone sounded good to her ears as she slowly ate her breakfast, mulling over the various songs that would possibly work with the tempo of the tune.

“I got this down the other day when we’d discussed the last few songs of the potential tracklist. I don’t think it’d work well on most of the songs, but the last two have potential for it, what do you think?”

She mulled it over as he played it again, her mind bringing up the familiar lyrics, humming them along softly.

“The last one would definitely work. Upbeat sound to maudlin lyrics.”

“Considering that’s your style. You do remember that you’ve got an EP being released in like, two days, right?” Alex prompted and it made her pause before she swore.

“I’d actually forgotten. Fuck.” This made all of them laugh as she slumped down onto the couch, throwing her arms over her face.

“I hate you all. At least they’re not making me do any promo before tour.” She muttered and Michael laughed.

“No, that’s gonna happen on the first round of the world tour. And then again on the second leg, but with us promoting as well.”

“Fuck.” She whined softly.

“C’mon, you’re finally getting music out and people will be able to sing along!” Alex encouraged her and she let out a deep breath of air before nodding her head.

“That is true. Plus it means the fans will be able to sing the lyrics if they actually like my music.”

“Number one, just watch.” Michael smirked and she rolled her eyes as they returned the the songs in front of them.

—

Meeting her touring band was nerve wrecking. It was the first official rehearsal with her apart of the group.

She greeted her guitarist, Ellie with a relieved smile when she practically pulled her into the room and introduced her to the other two.

Sat behind the drums, tightening the snare up, was Rich who gave her a soft smile as he shook her hand warmly.

Tuning the bass up was Cara, her own lips twisted into a brief smile before she returned her attention to the instrument in her hands.

“When they told us we’d be doing a nine month tour for a new artist, we were slightly skeptical. But knowing that it’s you, and the tour we’re going on, it’s actually really exciting.”

“Christ Ellie, let the girl actually set up. The record company sent through the transcripts of the songs, so we’ve been rehearsing them for the last two weeks. We’re hoping that now you’re here and settled, we can get the full sound of them.” Rich broke in and she nodded, a bright grin crossing her lips.

“There’s only one song on the setlist that I don’t need you guys for, so it’ll give you a chance to get a drink and stuff whilst we’re up on stage. Are we doing a few songs each day or trying to get as many as possible in the next two weeks?

Cara laughed.

“We’re looking to get the songs right so we’re going over two different songs every day this week, then next week it’ll be run throughs of the setlist. Don’t fret rockstar, we’re here to help you.” Cara’s words made her cheeks grow warm as she laughed.

“Thanks. It’s just-”

“Surreal? Yeah, we guessed it would be. That’s why we’re trying to make this as smooth as possible.” Ellie cut in and she could only feel a flood of relief as they began to go over the songs.

The next day, her own rehearsing went to a grinding halt as she remembered that the EP had been released and she’d forgotten about it in the rush of the rehearsals.

So instead of rehearsing, they played the EP through the speakers and she could feel her heart in her chest as each song came to life in the small rehearsal space.

What she didn’t expect was for the space to get gatecrashed by Michael and Alex.

“You’re climbing the charts!” He’d thrust his phone in her face and she watched, breathless as her EP climbed up the chart with each refresh and she could feel tears in her eyes.

“Holy shit, this is actually real. Fuck, these are my touring bandmates.” She felt the embarrassment rise as she introduced Ellie, Rich and Cara to Michael and Alex.

“I think we’re not going to get anything done. We might as well call it quits today and celebrate the release.” Rich laughed and Y/N groaned.

“C’mon, we’ve gotta celebrate this!” Alex whined and she shot him an unimpressed look in return.

“You just want an excuse to daytime drink.” She shot back and he grinned back unapologetically.

“Of course.”

It felt surreal as they packed up the equipment and hustled her out of the rehearsal space and into the passenger seat of Michael’s car. When she looked around to see where the others were, she spotted Alex talking to the other three as Michael got in on the drivers side.

Alex slid in the back moments later and then the car was off and away from the studio space.

“What are you two up to?”

“Nothing.” Came from both of them, sounding ar too innocent for the grins they were both wearing. But she didn’t argue with them as they seemed to go on a long detour. She was familiar with the route to all of their places, but as Michael turned down another street, it took her a solid moment to realise that they were rapidly approaching Ashton’s house.

As they got out of the car, she shrieked in surprise as a pair of hands covered her eyes.

“Sorry, but it’s a surprise.” Came Alex’s voice and she groaned as a pair of softer hands took hold of hers and began to guide her.

“You two are so dead.” She grumbled as she stumbled up one of the steps.

“There’s a step there Y/N.” The grin in Alex’s voice was clear.

“So so dead.”

She could hear the door open and it felt too quiet as they went a few steps further in and when Alex ripped his hands away from her eyes, she jumped.

“Surprise!” Collective yells made her heart freeze for a second before she took in the decoration.

‘Congrats on the EP release!’

And the various faces of her friends and the people she’d worked with. And the new faces of Ellie, Cara and Rich, all three wearing smug grins.

Ashton was stood off to the side slightly, his smile seemingly widest of them all.

“You assholes, oh my god.” She turned to hug Michael and Alex, making them both laugh. They returned the hugs and the sounds of her EP began filtering through the speakers, her entire body feeling like it was buzzing as she went around and began to greet the various people.

It felt semi-professional, but most of the people here were people who she’d befriended, apart from the few management executives who had congratulated her on the release.

It was later on in the afternoon, most people still hanging about, the party having spilled out to the garden to enjoy the sunshine when John came sauntering in with the laptop, a smug grin on his face.

She didn’t realise that Ashton was recording as John sat next to her.

“Take a look.” Was all he said turning the laptop to show her the screen.

Her heart and stomach dropped as she scanned the screen, feeling the overwhelming sensation bubble up as her hand went to her lips, covering her mouth.

“No fucking way!” Her voice went up an octave and John laughed.

“Number one in twenty six countries.” She was off her seat, practically bouncing.

“That’s double of what the single made!” This time she really was jumping around, her excited squeals drawing in the attention from the various people as she pulled both Michael and Alex up from their seats.

“Number fucking one in twenty six fucking countries!” This time laughter rippled at her reaction and she hugged them both tightly. “You’ve literally made my dreams come true, holy shit.”

“I told you Y/N. I spoke it into existence.” Michael shot back in a smug tone and she shoved his shoulder before she was dancing around once more, unable to help herself before throwing herself back into the seat next to John, her eyes taking in the figures once more.

“I got number one back home. Oh my god.” This time the tears were falling and John chuckled, pulling her into his side.

“You did that, kiddo. People are absolutely loving your music. If we’re not careful, you’ll be on your own world tour before long.” This made her laugh.

“Let me get through this one first!

---

The aftermath of the EP release was insane to her. She was getting more recognised on each trip out and her families reactions were beyond her wildest imaginations.

With the help of social media, she heard the clip of her mum being called by Radio 1, the host asking her about how she felt about it all.

“At first I was skeptical. My little girl off to LA by herself. But I’ve always supported her perusal of music and seeing how much it’s paid off, oh god I could cry again.” She’d felt her heart utterly melt at that.

“So you must be very proud of Y/N right now?” The host prompted and her mums laugh filtered through her ears.

“Proud as punch. My baby girl is dominating the charts and even the ladies at work are listening to her music, even when they all told me it’d be a waste of time. I felt rather smug telling them that the song they were listening to was hers.” This made the host laugh, herself included.

“Well, you keep having your proud mama moment. We’re playing your girls song right now. Here is Y/N’s latest single.”

It was a dream come true.

She’d facetimed her family back home and her heart burst when she saw Allie with them, dancing and singing along loudly as the album blasted in the background. She knew she was so so lucky to have their support and seeing that warmed her heart.

It kept her going through the rehearsals as they got through each song.

As the last day got closer and the last of their equipment was shipped out, she found herself very relieved that she had people who knew the tour life like the backs of their hands.

They’d toured together before, so they knew each other well enough, so getting to know them and their habits was going to take time for Y/N, but she settled in nicely into the group.

Her calls to Allie had been sparse and often it was Allie calling her when she woke up for work just as she was finishing up in the rehearsals.

“Do you even leave that space?” She’d teased during the first week of rehearsals.

“Till we get this right, no.” Came the sarcastic response followed by laughter.

She was understanding to the fact that she was so busy that her days meant there wasn’t much time to really call, but they continued to text daily, photos being sent to each other of what they were doing.

She was often seeing something that reminded her of Allie and sending it to her.

When it came to tour day she sent one text to Allie, despite the fact that she knew she was in a meeting.

‘Hope this doesn’t disturb your meeting, but then again you’re smart and remember to put your phone on silent. Anyway, we’ve got flights ahead of us today with some layovers so I won’t be able to text much or call you today, but I hope you have a good day and I love you.’

Michael had hustled her out of his house once they’d gotten all of their cases piled into the hired van. The other three were already in, those two being the last to get picked up. Ellie, Rich and Cara had promised to meet them at the airport.

It was early, so there weren’t many fans at the airport. There were paps, waiting for them to arrive, but that was the only commotion they had to deal with.

They met up with the other three and slowly got their stuff checked in. Whilst they were waiting, Calum had slung his arm across her shoulders as her phone went off, her lips pulling up into a big grin at the message.

‘Meeting was a bust. Could’ve had my phone and they wouldn’t have noticed. Idiots. Anyway, tell those boys to look after you, I know you’re not good on long haul flights. Have a safe journey and tell me all about it when you’ve landed and settled. Love you too, my little rockstar.’

“You can tell her we’ve got your back.” Cal murmured and she laughed, jabbing her elbow into his side playfully.

“I’ll tell her you were reading over my shoulder as well as that.” She shot back in return. He simply grinned as she tapped away at her phone before her name was called.

Once they were past security and on the plane, that was when the nerves began to set in and Calum chuckled from his spot next to her.

“I can see what Allie meant about you not doing well on long haul flights.” He teased her playfully and she scowled in return.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up. You’re the one sat next to me for the entire trip.”

Luke snorted from behind them.

One layover and a nap on Calum’s shoulder later, they were in Stockholm and fans were waiting for them at the airport. It was easy to navigate and once they were all piled in vans to take them to the first venue, it began to feel very real, especially with the cold weather biting into her skin, making her shrug her jacket closer.

“Told you to wear warmer clothes, Y/N.” Ashton teased as the van peeled away from the airport.

“I’ve got two jackets on and I’m still cold. Shut up.” Came the snarky reply, making the others laugh.

The journey to the hotel was long, but the van warmed up eventually and before they knew it, they’d arrived. With the cold air, it became a competition between the eight of them to get in from the cold quick enough.

It was late in the day and despite having slept on the plane, they got into their various rooms and despite the plan to head out for food, Y/N crashed out after sending a quick text to Allie.

The next morning was busy.

There were interviews scheduled for various members of the band as well as Y/N.

By the time that it got to showtime, it was a bubble of excitement that seemed to explode in jittery nerves and Ashton laughed when he stopped by her dressing room.

“C’mon you lot, you’ve got stage in half an hour.” Ashton wrapped his arm around her shoulders and the others grabbed the last few bits they needed.

“First show of tour is always stressful, but you’ve got this. Now let's go bug the rest of them. I’m pretty sure your pre-show jitters will irritate Calum or Michael. I want to make a bet on who it irritates first.”

The rest of the band laughed as they followed after the two.

It was Calum who they managed to annoy first, his body laying across her legs to stop them from bouncing up and down.

“You’re making me feel nervous and I haven’t felt nervous in years.” He grumbled as the rest of them laughed.

It settled the nerves for her as they distracted her with talk of the various interviews that were going to be coming up.

Eventually they were called to stage and the boys followed behind, watching side stage as she stepped onto the stage and the crowd began to scream.

“Lets go Stockholm!”

The adrenaline rush felt incredible as she sang and danced her way through the set, her amazement at the crowd screaming the lyrics back to her.

“You all sound so god damn beautiful. My name is Y/N and I’ll see you all next time!”

As they finished the final song and left the stage, they were all greeted with yells of excitement and hugs from the boys as they congratulated them.

“You’ve really got them going! Tonight is going to be fucking fun.” Michael was beaming at her and she grinned in response.

“I can’t fucking wait for the rest of the tour. Listen, you go get ready, I need to help pack up and I’ll be watching side stage, I promise!” He pulled her in for one more hug before he followed after the boys to get ready and she headed back onto the stage, helping the team pack away her set.

Fans screamed her name and she waved to them as she did the last few jobs, making sure that her equipment was packed and secure before throwing the setlists into the crowd and disappearing with another wave.

She felt more alive than she’d done in months and as she watched 5 Seconds of Summer take the stage for the first night of the tour, she understood how they’d managed for so long.

—

Having Allie join them for the Paris and London dates of the first part of the tour felt wonderful.

She got to introduce her to every one and spending the night with her in Paris after the show was practically a dream.

They shared soft kisses in front of the Eiffel tower, Andy catching the sweet moment between the two and it was later on the bus, wrapped around Allie as it made the journey under the chanel did they finally talk quietly, aware that Ellie, Rich and Cara were all asleep.

“It feels so nice to actually spend some time with you.” She hummed softly and Allie smiled, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I know. The next few months are going to be long though.” She could see that saying those words pained her, but Y/N pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder.

“They are. But this is going to be worth it for both of us, I promise.”

“Oh don’t I know it, number one in twenty six different countries.” Allie hummed in return, laughing as she ducked her face away in embarrassment.

“Are you leaving straight after the show tomorrow?” The shy question made Allie pause, her eyes searching her girlfriends face at the question before shaking her head.

“No. You have me tomorrow night too.”

“Good.” Allie chuckled softly.

“Get some rest, you’ve got interviews tomorrow and you need to look your best.” Allie hummed softly, her fingers tracing down the her spine. The yawn that escaped Y/N’s mouth made Allie grin as she settled down.

“Fine. Love you.” It wasn’t much later till she’d fallen asleep and a sigh escaped from Allie.

“Love you too.”

London was busy from the minute they got off the bus. Allie travelled with her to the radio stations in London that she had interviews with and they spent a night in the hotel before she caught the early train back home and Y/N was on a flight back to America, her heart feeling the heaviness of leaving her once more.

“It’ll get easier, I promise.” Luke nudged her shoulder and she gave him a relieved smile as the plane took off.

She wanted to believe Luke’s words, but part of her was worried and stressed over how long she’d be gone. It was going to be the longest without seeing Allie and it frightened her to an extent.

But she knew that she could trust that with the help of technology, speaking to her and facetiming her would make it more bearable at least so it wasn’t just her counting down the days till she was home once more.

The next few days were busy and long. Interviews in each new city before playing a show and then straight on the bus to the next place.

When they arrived in New York, Michael pulled her out of her funk.

“C’mon. You’re coming with us to the interview and then we are going to ditch those three loser and spend the day in New York City.” She barely had time to grab a coat and her backpack as he pulled her from the bus.

She shot off a quick text to Cara.

‘Apparently I’ve been kidnapped by a crazy person named Michael. Should be back to get a decent amount of sleep tonight, don’t worry if i’m not. Enjoy NYC.’

It was whilst she was sat in the car with the boys that she got a text back.

‘Have fun and if u don’t visit the statue i will be very disappointed in ur lack of tourist excitement’

It was fun to watch them get interviewed, and even though the interviewer had pointed her out, in an attempt to coax her into answering a few questions, she smiled and shook her head.

By the time the group were done with the interviews, Michael all but dragged her from the building and they got into a separate car and it felt good to have the distraction as they finally exited the car and began to wander the streets of New York together.

“Part of me feels like I need to be singing ‘Welcome to New York’ or maybe even ‘New York, New York’. And I’m not sure people will really enjoy my awful Frank Sinatra impression.” Michael laughed as they ventured through the various stores that lined the streets.

“I’m almost certain if you did a cover of New York, New York, it would still be amazing. And knowing you, you’d put your own spin on it and people would be falling in love with you left, right and centre.” The playful tease made her giggle as they found themselves in a thrift store, holding up the various items of clothing against each other to see if it would suit the other.

It certainly made the hole in her heart feel easier to deal with as she giggled at the silly hats they put on with the outrageous jackets that they found.

A few finds that were good, they purchased and eventually after raiding almost every rack, they left the store and her mood was swinging up as they continued their exploration of New York City.

It wasn’t difficult to visit the Statue of Liberty. There were a few fans about who were polite enough to the both of them and as they continued throughout the day, meeting fans here and there before heading back to the busses, when she checked her phone, she saw a text from Allie waiting for her.

‘Just saw a photo of you in New York, hope you’re enjoying yourself love, I know I would be.’

‘Still missing you, love. But distraction makes it easier I guess. I hope you’re having a good day.’

When they reached a small pizzeria, the debated on a large slice or a whole pizza to take back.

“I say get a couple of pizzas. They’ll appreciate the food and less likely to be annoyed with the fact we ditched them all for the entire day.” She’d remarked casually and Michael nodded, relaying the order for the two pizzas to go.

When they returned to the busses, they were met with raised eyebrows until they both held up the pizza boxes.

‘Pizza party on the 5sos bus.’ She’d sent the text to her touring bandmates and within five minutes they were climbing onto their bus.

“We heard there was pizza?” Ellie called as they stepped on. Calum laughed before motioning to the two large pizzas sat between the five of them.

“Join in. Looks like it’s a party night tonight then.” This made them all laugh as they cracked out a game of Cards Against Humanity and Y/N very quickly realised that touring with all these wonderful people was certainly the best thing to help distract from a missing piece in her chest.

---

Halfway through the tour, she was excited because Allie was joining the tour for a couple of days. It annoyed her to no end that she couldn’t get more time off, but she’d take two days over nothing.

The only problem was that her flight landed whilst she was performing. Michael had offered to go and pick her up from the airport, but Allie had declined and so it left her frustrated and somewhat annoyed. But she’d get to see her girl.

The boys were half way through their set when she turned up with only a backpack over her shoulders and Y/N couldn’t help herself as she wrapped her arms around Allie, her lips meeting her girlfriends.

“Holy shit I’ve missed you.” She murmured and Allie hummed in response.

“Missed you too.”

They enjoyed the set together, Allie standing a bit further away than Y/N would’ve liked but she knew that Allie was never comfortable with things like this. The show ended and she pulled her backstage, giving the boys a chance to finish their encore as the two of them lounged quietly in the greenroom.

But this silence, whereas before it was always comfortable, she could notice that something had changed, but didn’t dare comment on it.

When the guys came in from the stage, they greeted Allie enthusiastically and talked about maybe going out for a late dinner followed by a few drinks. She was enthusiastic, Allie less so as she half -heartedly agreed to join.

The journey to the hotel was filled with scattered chatter, mostly the boys asking Allie about what she did and if this was the only time she’d get off.

Y/N should’ve realised when she didn’t outright answer, something was wrong.

Once they were in the hotel room, before she could do or say anything, Allie held her hands up.

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Y/N’s entire body froze as she felt her heart crack.

“What---what do you mean?” Allie grimaced before sighing.

“I met someone else. It’s not fair on you to keep it up when I don’t love you anymore.” There was the shatter as she sucked in a deep breath.

“Get out.”

“Please, Y/N, I just didn’t want to lie to---”

“I said get out.” The last word rose an octave and the tears were burning in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” The door clicked shut and once it shut, she could feel her heart shatter with a resounding crash as tears fell and a sob broke through.

‘I’ve just seen Allie leaving, you okay?’ The text came through as she allowed herself to collapse on the bed, sobs tearing from her throat as she tried to focus on something other than the pain in her chest.

But she couldn’t. Nothing had given away that this was coming. They’d been together for nearly three years and this was what was left to show for it.

It took a while before she heard frantic knocking and for a second, she almost deluded herself into believing that Allie was coming back, that she was apologising, that she was joking.

But the second the door opened and she and saw Michael’s concerned face, reality hit her hard and she found herself being bundled into his arms as another sob tore from her.

He pulled her into the room, shutting the door tightly before sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Y/N, what happened?”

“She---she left---said---didn’t---love---found---someone---” She couldn’t get her words around her tears and sobs and Michael’s heart shattered for her.

“Lie down, let me text the boys to say that we’re not going out tonight.” She curled on her side almost immediately, her fingers pressing against her chest, almost wishing it would ease the pain she was in.

It didn’t.

Michael sent the text off to the boys, hoping they would understand that she couldn’t go out, not like this.

Thankfully, they were understanding and promised to come back with ice cream for her and something to eat later. Michael climbed in behind her, his arms wrapping around her as she turned and pressed her face against his chest, the sobs slowing down as his fingers ran through her hair slowly.

“It hurts so much.” She finally whispered. He could only hold her tighter in response.

“It’s going to. But it’ll get easier. They boys promised to bring you some food and ice cream. Do you think you’d be up for that?”

She wasn’t sure she could answer. Part of her wanted the company, part of her wanted to wallow in the heartbreak that her chest was feeling.

“Just, no rom-coms. Give me comedy, hell, give me Jeff Goldblum.” Michael snickered as she settled herself closer, trying to shove the pain away for just a moment. But no matter what, it sat there, along with her tears.

“I’m sure we can do that. We’ve got time before they get here. Let it out.”

And she cried.

---

The boys understandably had given her the time to cry, and on the next night of tour when she realised the song she had to play, she felt her stomach drop as she soundchecked it, fighting the tears as her voice grew thick with emotion.

“That was her song, huh?” Ashton commented quietly and she nodded. He pulled her into a tight hug.

“Try to perform it tonight. If you can’t get through it, we’ll help you pick another song.”

And so she tried.

But it was clear that she couldn’t, her voice wavering before the end and she pulled away from the mic as the crowd sang her words back to her, the pain becoming too much for a second as a few tears fell.

Once the song finished and she could stop playing for a second, she wiped her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Michael was stood side-stage, hidden as he gave her a supportive thumbs up, Ashton doing the same, both wearing encouraging smiles.

“Sorry for that guys, but it looks like you’ll be the last lot to hear that song for a while.” At the disappointed noises, she gave a tentative smile to them.

“Unfortunately, my heart got broken last night, and this song---it’s tough. Maybe one day I can sing it as an ode to you all, but today isn’t that day. On we march, however.” And the crowd understood.

They sang back to her, almost louder and when she finished her set, the pain in her chest was still there, but it wasn’t the sharp stabbing sensation. It was like an old wound had been reopened, or at least, that was what it felt like. She knew that it wouldn’t pass this easily, but she felt her heart lift with love for the fans that sang her songs back to her.

She watched the boys set from side stage like always and greeted them as they finished their encore.

Michael slung his arm across her shoulders as they headed back to the greenroom, chatting about everything and nothing as they each went to their phones.

She hadn’t had a chance to change Allie’s name in her phone yet, but seeing the name made her breath catch for just a second.

‘So you made it all about you. Of course. Good luck in any future you find, don’t contact me again.’

There was the blow she’d been waiting for, the knock out that literally took her breath away as she tried to gasp for air.

She hadn’t even registered that she was sat on the floor, being coaxed to follow someone’s instructions. Her mind couldn’t separate, but she understood the words, following the motions before the steel bands that had a vice grip on her chest loosened up to the point of being able to breathe with ease once more.

“Y/N, what happened?” Michael asked quietly.

“Look at my phone.” She whispered in return and there were muttered voices before a phone was passed to Michael and he read the notification.

She fought down the nausea and the lightheadedness, closing her eyes for a second as tears slipped out.

“What did I do wrong?” Their hearts broke for her then. They were barely three months into the nine month world tour.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. She knew what was going to happen whilst you were on tour. We all told her it was going to be tough on both of you. Either she didn’t listen or she didn’t care. But that’s not on you.”

She wanted to believe him, but the thoughts were there.

“C’mon. We’re going to help you re-do your entire setlist. Unlock your phone.” She did as she was told, her fingers hovering over the message icon.

Before she could do anything, Michael pulled her phone out of her hands, throwing it to Luke who was furthest away.

“Delete the message and number.” She watched in amazement as Luke did what was asked and showed the clear screen of her name.

“It’s a good job I actually get on with you guys.” She finally grumbled, making Michael smirk, pulling her from the floor.

“That’s why we did it. Means you can’t drunkenly text her or fool yourself. Now. Setlist.”

Y/N felt grateful that someone was taking charge and helping her. She wrapped an arm around Michael’s waist, squeezing it gently.

“Thanks Mikey.” She finally whispered and he gave her a soft smile in return.

“We have each other as a band to lean on. You have only yourself. It’s only fair that we help you through a really shitty time, especially when we’re not even halfway through the tour yet.”

The rest of the night, she stayed sober as they went out and danced, Michael having a few drinks but mostly keeping her company as she watched everyone else chatter away.

It was the start of a very long journey.

---

It wasn’t often that Y/N found herself scrolling through social media. Especially after the breakup, there were those that seemed to think that she needed to know about what Allie was doing.

She tried to ignore it most days, but it seemed that as she scrolled through the notifications, mindlessly replying to some fans on twitter, she felt her heart drop when she saw the tweet which included a photo of Allie with another woman.

She found herself studying the photo, her heart twisting as she realised it was a screenshot of her instagram.

Wiping the tears away when she realised that she’d been crying, she finally noticed the time and decided to head into the venue. There was still time before soundcheck, but part of her wanted to just play.

Grabbing her backpack, she pulled the hoodie tighter and stepped off the bus, immediately being greeted with excited yells and calls of her name.

Waving hesitantly to the few who had spotted her, she made her way over to the barriers, taking photos with the fans, pushing a smile on her face as she gave hugs and chatted about the tour.

“How are you doing on tour?”

“Doing good. My family love receiving postcards from the places we stop in. The guys think its hilarious that I do it, but it’s memories that they get to keep as well. My mum especially gets so excited each time I send her a postcard.” This earned laughter. She posted the videos that her dad sent to her of her mum reading the postcards she sent, the excitement tangible when she watches the videos.

“Do you miss home much?” Another fan asked as she posed for a selfie.

“I miss my family, yeah. England? Not really. I’m slowly finding my home in LA, it’s warm, I’ve made close friends with a lot of people and despite sticking out like a sore thumb, I feel more comfortable there than I ever did in England.”

“Is it because of Allie?” Her heart ached as she glanced at the watch on her wrist.

“Because of her I don’t miss home? No. Even when we were together, I missed her, but I didn’t miss home. I’ve gotta run for soundcheck, but I hope you guys enjoy the show tonight.” She pulled away from the group, half smiling at the disappointed noises before making her way into the venue.

Heading to the dressing room where Ellie was already set up, she picked up the acoustic as she dropped her bag down.

“I’m gonna head out and check the guitar. Mess about before we actually sound check.” Ellie nodded.

“Sure, want me to come with?” She hesitated before nodding.

“Yeah, if you want. I’m not adverse to some company right now.” Ellie picked up her phone and followed after Y/N, the two navigating the corridors with ease. They stopped by the boys dressing room.

“Heading to mess about before actually soundchecking.” Luke pushed off the seat, followed by Michael.

“Can we tag along? Before we kill Ashton and Calum.” She tossed the two a curious look, both holding innocent faces.

“Whatever you’re planning, keep me out of it and don’t even think of pulling any kind of prank on me.” She warned playfully and they both gave her matching looks of offence.

“We’ve done nothing!” Ashton called out as she pulled away from the door.

“Not yet, at least.” She called back, laughter erupting from the room before it fell quiet as Luke and Michael followed the pair.

“I’m gonna practice a cover, I probably won’t play it on tour but my hands are itching.” She explained to Ellie who chuckled.

“You been hit with inspiration to write or just play?”

“Play I think.” Came the quiet reply and Ellie nodded in understanding.

“Sometimes it’s good just to play whatever you can to feel the music.” Her arm went across Ellie’s waist for a brief moment, giving her a small squeeze.

“Thanks.”

As they reached the stage, Y/N ditched the guitar, immediately heading to the piano, making Luke laugh.

“Can we not request Wonderwall?” Came the tease as he sat next to her. She stuck her tongue out as she checked it was still tuned before finding the right key.

Ever since they’d released Youngblood, one song had stuck to her tightly and she knew that playing it would help her let it go. But this was their song.

Both Michael and Ellie were sat on the drum riser, talking quietly.

“Sorry if I butcher this.” She muttered before hitting the few chords and Luke’s face immediately recognised the song.

“I saw you looking brand new overnight, I caught you look too but you didn’t look twice. You look happy, oh, you look happy.”

It was therapeutic as she played, missing only one of the keys as she sang. What she didn’t expect was Luke to harmonise with her throughout, letting her lead the song.

As the last note echoed out, her fingers still resting on the keys, he placed a hand over hers.

“You saw, huh?” She could only nod, pressing her eyes closed for a second to stop the tears from building up.

“The song has been itching at my fingertips, but seeing that, I needed to let it out because part of me feels like my chest wants to burst.” Voicing it outloud made her shoulders release slightly, dropping down a little bit as her eyes finally opened and glanced at Luke who wore and understanding smile.

A pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders and neck, a head coming to rest on top of hers. The tattoos gave away that it was Michael.

“How do you feel after playing it?” His voice was quiet, but she could hear the understanding in his voice and it felt like her chest was on fire.

“Better. Less likely to fuck up.” This made Ellie laugh as she gently shoved Michael, his grip loosening as he dramatically stumbled away, only to stumble over one of the wrapped up chords, making the three of them laugh as he hit the stage floor.

“You guys are assholes.” He muttered as he stood up, brushing off his trousers.

“You’ve only just figured that out? Wow, we managed to hide it so well Ellie.” Her voice took on the tone of surprise and Michael snorted as she moved from the piano, plucking the guitar from the stand.

“You two want to stick around for the actual soundcheck?” Ellie asked them as she picked up the second guitar, waving briefly to Cara and Rich as they reached the backstage.

“Only if you play Wonderwall.”

“Not on your life, Hemmings.” Rich called back before reaching his drum kit which sat in front of the riser.

They stuck around for the soundcheck before heading back to get dressed for their own soundcheck.

There was a sense of freedom as they soundchecked their last song and she could feel her body dancing along with the beat of the music. This made both Cara and Ellie laugh as they finished up the song.

Cara wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“You’ll be alright, I promise. Now c’mon, we need to get moving and get some food. Who fancies some lovely burgers?”

As they headed out to grab some food, Y/N found herself checking through Instagram.

As she refreshed the feed, her eyes focused on the fact that Michael had posted whilst they were soundchecking and to her shock, it was her and Luke sat at the piano.

“El, please tell me you did not encourage him to do that?” Her whine made the other three laugh, Rich patting her shoulder from his spot next to her.

“You learn fast that no one can really say no to her pout.” He teased and as if to almost prove his point, Ellie pulled a spectacular pout that made her feel bad for even making the comment.

“I didn’t have to encourage him. I was going to, but then I could see he was already posting it to Instagram. So I left it. Plus you were having a moment so I didn’t really want to ruin that.” The four of them laughed.

She clicked the unmute button, and her voice began to croon through the phone speakers.

“It’s three am and the moonlights testing me. If I can make it till dawn then it won’t be hard to see, I ain’t happy, oh. I ain’t so happy. Flashing back to New York City, changing flights so you’d stay with me. Problem was, I thought I had this right.”

She scrolled a little further as her own voice with Luke’s harmonies continued filtering through her phones speaker and she felt her heart skip a small beat at the caption from Michael.

‘The best kind of compliment for us to get is knowing our music is helping people. Seeing someone who I’ve been working with from day one, pay us this compliment in such a beautiful way means a lot to me. Especially when I watched her heart collapse. What I’m trying to say is you guys think we don’t see the covers, but we do. You pay us the best kind of compliments with them, just like Y/N has done. And I’m damn proud to be her friend and see how far she’s come since last summer. Keep going, you’re killing the game, I promise.’

She could feel the tears in her eyes as she read the caption and an arm went across her shoulder.

“Considering we’ve only known you since the start of the tour, we can’t say much about last summer. But you’re getting there and god damn you’ve got the world at your feet right now.” Rich’s words set the tears running and both Cara and Ellie laughed at her pitiful wail as she hid her face against his shoulder for a second.

“You guys have put up with my shit without any complaints. I’m sorry if I’ve been such a miserable cow.” She finally muttered and Cara giggled.

“You’re allowed to be a miserable cow. You’ve had your heart broken. But you’re trying, and all of us can see that. So don’t worry about it.” Cara reached over and wiped at her tears and Rich gave her one last squeeze before they rattled off their orders to the waitress.

When they’d eaten and headed back to the venue, she took her time and stuck her head in the boys’ dressing room. Luke and Ashton looked up from their phones.

“You looking for Mike?”

“Sorta. I was looking for you too, Luke.” He raised an eyebrow as she moved over and hugged him briefly, but tightly.

“Thanks.” His arms tightened around her marginally before letting her go and Ashton grinned at her.

“No hug for me?”

“Not today. Maybe tomorrow.” Came the playful retort and he laughed.

The door opened again and Michael stepped in followed by Calum, the two laughing at something. When they noticed that there was someone who wasn’t Luke or Ashton in the dressing room, they turned their attention and Michael gave her the biggest grin.

Without saying much, she quickly closed the distance between them and her arm wrapped around his neck, holding him tightly as his arms wound around her with ease, pulling her feet off the floor.

“Thank you.” She murmured next to his ear and pulled back slightly, placing a kiss to his cheek.

He held her for a few seconds longer before placing her down on her feet.

“Not that I’m complaining, but what did I do to deserve that?” The curiosity and amusement were clear as day to her, and she just smiled in return.

“For showing me I’m making progress,” her eyes glanced to her watch, “speaking of, I need to get changed. We’re onstage soon.” And without hesitation or a second thought, she leaned up, placing a soft kiss to his cheek and disappeared from their dressing room.

She missed how his cheeks turned pink.

---

The next month, she seemed to have had enough.

They had a couple of days off in Sydney, so after letting herself onto their bus, Y/N noticed that Luke was already up and dressed.

“Got any plans for today?” Was his greeting and she shook her head.

“I feel like I’m going insane on that bus.” She muttered and he let his hand rest over hers for a second before grinning.

“C’mon then. We’re having our not-date day.” He stood up up, heading back to the bunks for a few moments before returning with his phone and wallet, picking up the jacket that had apparently been discarded over the back of the seats.

“Wait, really?” He grinned at her in response.

“We need to cheer you up. You owe me dinner. Might as well make a day of it seeing as we don’t have anything booked in for today. Plus this is our home city. I’m pretty sure that I can survive showing you around. Did you want to grab a jacket or anything?”

She shook her head.

“It’s warm enough for me.”

“At least take a jumper, I know it’s warm enough for you, but the weather changes so fast, especially since we’re technically in our winter right now.” Luke pleaded. She hesitated for a second and he groaned before heading back through the bunks.

“Yeah, sure. Hey Y/N!” Michael shouted through as Luke came back, grinning.

“Yeah?”

“If that fucker takes you to the Harbour Bridge, I’m gonna throw him to the sharks. We’re doing that tomorrow after the interviews.” This prompted her to stare at Luke for a second before the two of them giggled.

“I’ll keep it in mind Mike.” She called back.

“Good, and look after the hoodie. I actually like that one.” He followed up with, prompting her to raise her eyebrow at Luke.

“I know you like big cosy hoodies. His are the comfiest and he knows it.” Came the easy reply and she simply laughed, accepting the offered hoodie and tying it around her waist as they left the bus once more.

There was an Uber waiting for them as they reached the side of the venue and Luke allowed her to slide in first before following after.

As the car peeled away, curiosity finally got the better of her.

“Lu, where are we going?” He grinned over at her in response.

“Royal Botanical Gardens. It’s a nice day out and also if gets us away from the mayhem of the city.”

The car ride was mostly filled with chatter of the couple of weeks they had off and what her plans were going to be.

“I’ll stay in LA, work on the album. With the success of the EP, apparently they’re excited for more stuff. So I won’t really be getting a break whilst we’re taking a break.” He laughed.

“I feel that. It sometimes feels like you’re trying to catch up with yourself when you’ve got the time off right?” She nodded at his words.

They fell into a companionable silence as the car reached the Gardens. Her breath escaped her as she looked at the sight before her. Luke allowed himself a brief moment of smugness before thanking the driver and looping his arm through hers.

“C’mon, my not-date.” This made her laugh as they entered the Gardens.

She found herself mesmerised by the sheer beauty of the place, unable to keep her eyes still for very long as they walked, eventually pulling away from Luke to get a closer look at some of the plants.

Unawares that Luke was holding up his phone towards her, taking a couple of photos, she turned her head back to him and beamed.

“This place is so beautiful.” She breathed as he moved back towards her. He could only nod in agreement as they continued their walk, her eyes still searching the vibrant colours.

“How are you doing?” Luke’s quiet voice pulled her from her thoughts and she hummed in acknowledgement.

“I’m fine, why?” Luke raised an eyebrow at her.

“Not what I meant and you know it.” They’d been walking around for just over an hour at this point. Spotting a bench, they made their way over to it and sat down, her head resting on his shoulder as they watched other people go by.

“I keep thinking she’ll come back. That she’ll apologise. And seeing that photo, I don’t know. It just, it broke me. Nearly three fucking years together.” The bitterness of her words tasted foul in her mouth.

“Feels like you’re stuck and can’t pull away?” She felt Luke rest his own head against hers and she sighed.

“I keep asking myself, what did I do wrong? Is it the timezones? Is it because I’m away? Was it someone I went out with? Is it because of the rumours? I feel like my head is dizzy and I’m just so exhausted all the time.”

“I doubt it was your fault.” He soothed her softly. She scoffed.

“It feels like it. I found out from a friend that she’s dating another lesbian and all I could think was ‘did she believe those rumours?’ and I hate it. I want to stop thinking about it.” She admitted softly.

A small breeze began to pick up, playing with the ends of their hair as they sat together, talking.

“Why would she put stock in rumours when all we ever heard about was how much you loved her?” She knew that he was curious, but the playful jab was there. It made her smile slightly.

“Because I don’t exclusively date women. I’m bi, and I keep thinking that she actually believed what’s been printed about me.”

“Then she should’ve called. Texted. Anything to give you a fucking inkling of what was going on in her head. You’ve literally had the carpet pulled from under your feet.” The indignation on your behalf made your heart swell for the man with the golden curls.

“It takes two to tango. I never called as often as I should’ve-”

“Stop right there.” He cut her off and she pressed her lips together, eyes closing as she sighed. “She’s made her bed and she’s gotta lie in it. You’re the one dealing with the aftermath of it. You’ve been so busy with this tour, anyone can see how hard you work and how exhausted you are. She knew what was coming but still didn’t make that effort. That’s on her, not you.”

They lapsed into silence once more. Then,

“Thank you, Lu. I’m sorry.” He rolled his eyes at her before finally pulling her up from the bench with him as he got up.

The breeze had picked up this time and so once on her feet, Y/N untied the hoodie from her waist, pulling it over. She realised that Luke was right and that she immediately favoured this hoodie over any previous one she owned.

She knew she practically drowned in it, the sleeves falling way past her hands and the hoodie baggier than needed, but she felt warm and it was a smell that was just entirely Michael as she pulled the front up to protect her face from the wind as it picked up.

She didn’t recognise it amidst her heartbreak, but her heart skipped a beat.

“C’mon, we have more time to kill and I’ve had enough sappy shit.” Her laughter was refreshing as the two continued their way through the gardens and found a small little cafe to grab a bite to eat.

Running into a few fans there, the two pleaded with them to wait till they were long gone before posting about where they were, if only to stop the place from getting swarmed.

They ran for the waiting uber like a couple of giggling school children, and only when they were far enough away did Luke bother to post anything.

She seemed content enough to snuggled down within Michael’s hoodie and rest her head on Luke’s shoulder as he scrolled through his phone.

“We’ve got a hotel for the next couple of nights, so you’ll have an actual bed.” He tilted his phone to show the texts and she nodded her head at that.

“Got it.”

---

A the tour progressed, people speculated about the relationship disintegration between Y/N and Allie.

But she’d put interviewers in their place when they got a bit too personal.

“It’s my business what happens in my private life. We’re not together any more, and that’s all you need to know.

But from that point, it seemed more and more fans were singing her songs back to her, and her album was back in the charts.

No one protested the setlist change. It meant a chance for her to incorporate a different cover for almost every show. It felt good to change things up and she knew that she was getting her smile back once more.

Michael had helped on that front.

Most nights, despite the separate tour busses, they’d be gaming against or with each other, depending on the game. This resulted in long nights and many nights exchanging text messages of memes from the game, especially when the other fucked up.

Some of the time, she’d stay on the bus the following day to play against Michael, but more often than not, she went off exploring with Ashton and Calum, buying and sending back postcards to her family.

As the tour progressed through America, she felt a lot more free as she sang and danced her last set in LA, knowing that in a few weeks, she’d finally be back home in England, even if it was only for two weeks.

“What are your plans?” Michael asked as they got their kits together. The last show had been played for a few weeks now and it was time to breathe.

“Not too sure. I’ve not got a place in LA yet, so I’m gonna check myself into a motel or something till we fly out to the UK.” She responded with a shrug and Michael frowned.

“You’re not staying in some grotty motel. You can stay with me till we head out to the UK.” She opened her mouth to argue and he moved his hand to cover her lips. “Don’t argue me on this one. You’re staying with me and that’s final.”

It took only thirty seconds before she finally rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Yes mother.” She snarked once his hand was removed and he got a mischievous look in his eye which set her running away from him, a yell escaping her lips as he chased after her.

“Take that back!”

“Not a chance in hell Clifford!”

And for those that had worked the tour, heard her tears, there was a bit of relief as her laughter echoed through the hallways. She was healing.

As they got back to his place, the masses of bags being dragged in between the two of them, Michael was the first to collapse on the couch and she followed shortly after, his arms wrapping around as he pulled her close, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

“C’mon, we need to go to bed.”

“But you’re comfy.”

“You need a proper bed.”

“Nope.”

“Y/N.” Michael groaned and she giggled softly pressing her face into his shoulder.

“We just got back, we need to breathe a bit, dumbass.” He laughed as he squeezed her tightly.

“Alright. But if you fall asleep, I’m not carrying you.” He warned and she shrugged, pressing herself closer as her eyes fluttered shut.

“Can’t escape from me now, Clifford.” She muttered quietly before her breathing grew slower.

Michael knew how exhausted she was, her heart still healing from the heartbreak and he knew that it was going to be tough on her. So as a soft snore escaped her lips, Michael found himself unable to even move her, his heart softening as he pulled her tight and placed a kiss to her temple.

“Like I’d even want to try.”

It was hours later when the pair woke up. Michael woke up first, his arms keeping her encased as he just enjoyed the moment of peace. Glancing at the clock, the numbers read that it was three thirty in the morning, and as much as he didn’t want to move, he knew that the both of them needed to lie in a proper bed.

“C’mon sleepy head.” His voice was raspy, tired. He knew that once they were both in their beds, neither would re-emerge for another twelve hours at least.

“Don’t wanna.” Finally came from Y/N and Michael laughed softly.

“Going to have to move. I promise once you’re in bed, I won’t wake you again.” That seemed to get her moving enough so that they were leaning on each other as they stumbled through his place to the guest room.

Not even caring of the fact that Michael was still in the room, she wiggled free from her jeans, crawling beneath the covers.

“You’re the best. Night Mikey.” The sentence was slurred, her voice getting softer before the sentence ended with a snore. He snorted, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before he made his way to his own room, ditching jeans and his shirt before crawling beneath his own covers.

It was almost like someone hit him over the head with a baseball bat. He was knocked out immediately.

—

It felt like a full on recovery for the first three days. Y/N was feeling like the wind had been stolen from her sails before Michael explained it wasn’t uncommon.

“We’ve just done seven months of touring and promo mixed together. Even with the days off, you’re still doing something. Your body probably feels like this is the first chance you’ve had to relax in months.”

They settled themselves in the living room for the first three days, watching tv and napping. It was relaxed and she could feel like her days were easier.

By the fourth day, that was when they started to venture out a bit. Ashton immediately invited himself around and took Y/N out for lunch when she’d sent a text saying she felt a little more alive.

Michael could only laugh as he half dragged her out of his place.

“I’ve got my own shit to do, I’d rather be going for lunch!” He yelled out after her plea to save her escaped from her lips.

“How are you feeling now that you’ve had a chance to let your body recover?”

“I’m not bad. I still expect to see her name a few times but it’s easier now that her number isn’t in my phone and I’m not pining as much. I’m just more worried about finding a place out here now.”

Ashton nodded in understanding as they pulled into one of the car park complexes.

“Whilst we’re here and then out in the UK, I don’t mind helping you if you want to sit down and look?” She smiled at him as they walked through the town.

“Yeah, thanks. Hey, would you mind coming with me to explain to my family? It’s just that they worry and I don’t want them to.” As they reached the restaurant, Ashton held the door open for her before following behind.

“Table for two under Irwin?” He asked before the hostess could even greet them. She checked the roster before nodding her head and guiding them further into the restaurant.

Once they were seated and were looking over the menus, Ashton finally asked her the question.

“Why me, and not one of the other guys?” She half smiled at that.

“I know that Sierra is coming to the UK leg of the tour. I also know that Calum will want to visit Mali whilst he’s over there.”

“And Michael?”

She had to pause at that. Why wouldn’t she ask him?

Ashton waited as she tried to find her words, before her eyes settled on the table.

“You all just assumed I was a lesbian, right?” The question in return caught Ashton off guard as he slowly nodded.

“Well, yeah. I mean we never really asked you about your previous relationships.” Ashton shrugged as he set the menu down to look at her properly.

“I’m not. I’m bisexual. My family know and accept this. But if I take Michael, they’ll assumed that I’m dating him already.”

“And they won’t assume that with me?”

“Because I don’t act like I’m in love with you, moron.” She rolled her eyes before they widened in shock.

Ashton smirked.

“Fuckin’ knew it.” He muttered before sighing. “I’ll come with you, if only so your family don’t have any kind of freak out and reveal that you’ve been crushing on Mike for a while.”

“Shut up.” She hissed quietly, making him laugh as the waitress came over and took their orders.

“Chill out, my feline friend. I don’t think the others have cottoned on yet, but I definitely noticed it after your not-date with Luke. It annoyed him that you went with Luke on the day off and he had to settle for half a day because of interviews.” At that, her head fell into her hands and a sigh escaped her lips.

“Ashton, I’m royally fucked. I’m spending the next two months with him and I literally feel like a teenaged schoolgirl with her first crush, except my heart still feels fucking broken beyond repair right now. And he doesn’t deserve that.”

“Maybe he doesn’t. Or maybe he does deserve someone who feels like that so he can show her that she’s not as broken as she thinks.”

As the food arrived, they switched the conversation to the European leg of the tour, the various cities they were excited to visit and gifts they planned on buying.

“Are you worried about seeing Allie?” He finally asked, resting his elbows on the table and his head on his hands.

She leaned back in her chair and thought about his question.

“No. Well, it’s going to hurt. I know that. I’ve still got to collect the last of my stuff from hers and get it shipped over here. So I’m going to have to see her. But honestly?” She hesitated before sighing. “I’m more worried about how I’m going to actually react. Because I don’t know if I’m angry or not. I couldn’t make heads or tails of my emotions on the road and I had to stay put together for the interviews and shows.”

“What dates are you going to see your family?”

“Mum’s planning a family shindig on Halloween. Then they’ve got a small van for me and it’ll pick me up straight after the Sheffield show. Instead of flying out on the third with you guys, I’ll fly back out to the tour on the fourth.”

“Want me with you for the whole thing?” He watched as her eyes dropped to the table and it was like the embarrassment radiated in waves off her.

“Am I that easy to read?” Ashton chuckled.

“No, I just know my friend well enough to see when she doesn’t want to ask for something in fear of overstepping some kind of boundary.” His words were teasing, but the sincerity stunned her for a second.

“Only if you want to, Ash. But it means that you’ll be sharing my room with me.” He laughed.

“It’s fine. Shall we head out to look for a place for you then? Might as well get a start before we leave for Europe.” She nodded in acceptance and split the bill with him. As the two left, they’d both spotted the paps lurking about, but both ignored them as they made their way back to Ashton’s car.

“Shall we place bets on how many articles say we’re dating, even when it’s plainly obvious even to a blind man that I’m not interested in you?” Ashton laughed as he got in the car and they peeled away from the complex and headed back to his.

----

With Ashton’s help, they’d managed to secure a decent house for her and with the money from the album sales and tour, she knew it was easier to outright buy the place instead of renting, which is what she did.

She swore Ashton to secrecy, because there was no point in making a big fuss over her place. It still needed some work done and they worked over the two week break to get the place cleaned up and furnished for her return back to LA once the tour finished.

“So you’re gonna host a housewarming party when we get back right?” She laughed as she locked up the place. It was all done, all she needed to do was ship her stuff over. She’d already met with a few of her new neighbours and they’d agreed to hold parcels for her until she returned from the tour the following month later.

“First we’re celebrating the surprise party for Michael. Our boy is turning twenty three. Can’t ignore that.” They laughed as they got into his car.

“Well yeah, there’s that first. But after?”

“Considering we’re both up for ARIA’s, still don’t know how I managed that,” Ashton laughed, “so I’m gonna give it a couple of days, so maybe have the party on the twenty first or twenty second. Then to my knowledge, I’m flying out on the twenty fifth for the rehearsals?” Ashton nodded.

“Sounds about right. I know Cal’s going over earlier to spend time with his family.”

“Right. This is still feeling so surreal, honestly.” He laughed.

Flying out from LA back to London seemed like a breeze, but she also knew that this was where she’d have to go back home. Y/N was both excited and nervous to go back to her hometown.

The flight to London had been filled with jittery nerves. They’d landed late in the evening and only a small handful of fans were waiting to greet them.

“Welcome home Y/N!” One fan called and she chuckled.

“Thanks guys. How’re you all doing?” She received varied answers from the small group that had gathered around her. She could see the phones out but didn’t protest them like she usually would’ve, she was just too damn tired.

“How was the flight for you?” One fan asked and she shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Exhausting. I forget how tiring flying can actually be, especially when you’re not good on long flights as it is.” She grinned bashfully, earning a few scattered giggles.

“Are you looking forward to being back home for a little bit?”

“Definitely. I’ve got plans on our days off to go visit my family and I know my mum is super excited to see me. I’m almost certain she’s called every family member that’s old enough to drive to come to this meal. That’s going to be a busy day.” the fans were calm and the discussion turned to new music.

“Have you been working on anything on the road?” She shrugged at that question.

“Yes and no. I haven’t pushed myself to write, but I’ve been recording. I can’t say much now, but you guys are going to absolutely love it, I promise you.” This earned her excited whispers and she giggled as she signed a few things for them.

She was more than happy to take a few selfies with a few of them before Michael called her over and she made quick apologies, heading over to where he was loitering with security.

“They’re sending vans. They’ll take us to the bus pick up and then it’s an overnight journey to Glasgow.” His eyes were watching how tired she was and she sighed.

“Why can’t they just fly us up there instead?” She groaned quietly, making him laugh.

“Because they’re assholes. Fancy bus crashing for the night? I know El, Rich and Cara are going to be wide awake.”

“And you four losers won’t be?” Came back the tart reply and he grinned.

“We’re just as tired as you are. So no, we’re probably going to knock out the second our heads hit the bunk.”

She hesitated for a moment before sighing. Pulling out her phone, she messaged the group chat she had with her own bandmates.

‘You guys cool if I bus crash tonight?’

Ellie was the first to reply.

‘Yeeah, we were thinking of maybe having a couple of games going when we go on. You look exhausted so you’d probs be better off sleepin on their bus.’

She replied almost instantly.

‘That’s fine by me. You guys be as loud as you like.’

It wasn’t much longer till they all piled into the two vans and it felt like she’d barely blinked before being shaken awake by Michael.

“C’mon Y/N, we’re at the busses.” The cold October weather made her cringe into Michael’s side and he laughed.

“Shut up, I’m used to the LA heat.” She grumbled. He fell silent but pulled her tighter to him anyway. She was wrapped up in the hoodie she’d managed to acquire after her not-date with Luke and he hadn’t argued the loss of it, claiming she looked cuter in it anyway.

When they got on the bus, the boys went to claim their bunks and before she could head to the back to crash on the sofa, Michael was pulling her into the bunk area and she couldn’t help but smile at someone who looked so stupidly cute, especially when his eyes were silently pleading with her.

With a sigh, she took off her bra, tossing it to the end of his bunk before climbing in and he followed after. Not even bothering to take off the hoodie, she curled into his side and with a whispered ‘goodnight’ between the two of them, it didn’t take too long before both of them were fast asleep, his body turned towards hers and his arm thrown over her waist.

When Michael woke the next morning, she was curled against him, her back pressing against his chest. His arm was still thrown across her waist. He didn’t dare move as he tiredly stared at her, his heart skipping a beat as her eyes opened and she turned over, face hiding against his chest.

She could feel her heartbeat thundering against her chest as she felt his lips against the top of her head.

“Morning kitten.” She tried not to let her shock show at the pet name, a simple hum of acknowledgement escaping as she pressed her face firmly against his chest, not willing to move an inch.

“Morning.” She finally muttered and he chuckled.

“We in Glasgow yet?” He shook his head.

“Still travelling. Not sure where we are though.” A sigh escaped her lips.

“Means we don’t have to move.” She muttered stubbornly her arm wrapping around him and he could feel heat rising in his cheeks as he held her close, mouthing a silent prayer just to keep his cool till they woke up properly.

It took another thirty minutes before the bunk curtain was pulled open by Luke.

“C’mon lovebirds. We reach Glasgow in about an hour.” He ducked the pillow she threw at him before Michael pushed out of the bunk first, and she reluctantly moved, following after him.

She slipped her bra on before following through to the front of the bus and was greeted with tired smiles from the other three. She took the open spot next to Michael, ignoring the pointed looks from Luke and Ashton as she lay her head on his shoulder.

“You changing anything to the setlist this tour?” She snorted into the cup of tea that Ashton had passed her at Calum’s question.

“I desperately want to cover Fuck You, just to be petty. But I won’t,” they all shared grins at that, “I will maybe switch the order of the setlist and throw the cover towards the start. Get the crowd going.”

“What cover you gonna do?”

“All the covers that get Brits fucking jumping.” She teased and they laughed as the bus finally pulled to a stop and she stood up, stretching out her tired limbs.

“You up for exploring tomorrow whilst we’re here?” Ash questioned and she nodded in agreement as she headed to the door of the bus.

“Yeah, who’s heading out tomorrow with you?”

“Just me.” Calum piped up and she grinned at him.

“Cool, see you guys in a bit.” And she was off the bus and onto her own seconds later, grateful that they were cut off from the fans view. She did not need to add fuel to that burning fire.

As she got on the bus, she was met with a very tired looking Cara who was nursing a coffee with both of her hands.

“Morning.” Came the quiet greeting.

“Morning to you too sunshine. How was last night?” Y/N sat herself opposite Cara who groaned quietly.

“I think it’s mostly tiredness speaking because not a lot of alcohol was consumed. But we’re just so excited to be playing for shows in the UK.”

“Even though you guys were with me for the first part of the tour.” She teased and they laughed quietly.

“It doesn’t count and you know it. This is playing in different cities. Playing in London once does not count at all.” Came the snarky retort and she held up her hands in a surrender position.

“I’m gonna go get changed. I might head into the venue and maybe work on something. Still got ideas running through my head.” She stood up, heading to the bunk area and Cara gave her a devious grin.

“Something to commemorate your night with Michael?” The taunt was playful and in jest and Y/N simply grinned.

“Maybe.”

---

As it crept closer to Halloween, it was obvious about how nervous Y/N was getting over the family party. More than once, Michael offered to come down with her and Ash, but she shook her head, desperately hoping that he couldn’t see how wistful her smile was.

“You need to hold the fort with Luke and Cal whilst I steal Ash for the day. We’ll be back in time for drinks, I promise.”

From London both her and Ashton travelled further south to her hometown on Halloween morning. They spent the majority of the journey discussing various ideas for her place back in LA, debating on different colours for the guest rooms that had yet to be painted.

“How many people are going to be there?” He questioned quietly as they pulled off the motorway. She checked her phone, scrolling through her previous messages with her mum.

“Mum said about twelve. But that’s just aunts and uncles and cousins. She’s not included their kids.” A low groan escaped him and she giggled.

“Hey, you agreed to this, knowing that I have a big family.” He rolled his eyes before smiling.

“I know. But it’s the kids that I’m worried about. Are you sure they won’t freak out?”

“Lucy might. She’s the only one I know that has probably listened to your stuff. The boys could care less.” She shrugged in return and he simply slumped down in the seat, earning a giggle.

“It won’t be like this at the weekend though?”

“Oh god no. This weekend is going to be telling them about moving to LA and packing up my stuff. Might even show you a few spots I frequented as a kid.” They shared matching grins as the car turned into a cul-de-sac and her eyes lit up.

Ashton couldn’t help himself as he snapped a photo of the beaming smile on her lips, his own lips curving into a grin to match hers.

“We’re here!” The car pulled to a stop and they got out of the car. Once it disappeared back down the street after a confirmation of pick up time, she headed to the front door and knocked. It was only eleven am, but she could see the various cars and hear the voices.

The door pulled open and she was greeted by her dad whose face lit up, pulling her into a warm hug.

It was a hug she’d been craving for months and her entire body melted against him.

“Welcome home, little one.” He murmured softly in her ear and she responded by clinging to him tighter before pulling away.

“Dad, this is Ashton, he’s the drummer of 5 Seconds of Summer, the band who helped give me this amazing opportunity.” She stepped to the side and Ashton held his hand out.

He was stunned when her dad pulled him in for a hug instead and his cheeks went slightly pink.

“Thank you for giving my little girl such a wonderful opportunity, come in, come in! The rest of the family are here.” He waved them both in and as she stepped through the door, Ashton ran his fingers through the mop of curls.

“I can see where you get the hugging genetic from.” He muttered under his breath and she snorted out a giggle before an excited squeal emitted from the living room.

“You’ve seen nothing yet, Irwin.”

As if on cue, her mum came rushing out of the living room and practically barrelled her over, holding onto her tightly as she peppered her face with kisses, making Y/N giggle.

“Hi mum. Missed you too.”

“Oh my baby is finally home for a bit!”

“Your baby is gonna pass out because she can’t breath and has barely stepped into the house.” She shot back sarcastically and Ashton coughed to cover up a chuckle. This turned her mum’s attention to Ashton.

“Don’t think you get out of this! You must be Ashton, yes?”

“Yes ma’am, it’s-” He was cut off as she pulled him in for a tight hug, this time making Y/N snicker at his wide eyes.

“Nice to meet you.” He finally finished off, making her mum laugh.

“It’s wonderful to meet you too, dear. Now come on through, a lot of the family are already here.” She pulled back, taking a hold of Ashton’s hand and he shot Y/N a panicked look and she shrugged in return as she followed after the two.

It took half an hour just to introduce Ashton to everyone who had already arrived because they were determined to ask him questions about the tour and what she had done on the tour and every question in between.

It was her Aunt Hallie who caught her unawares.

“So where’s young Allie?” She froze for a second, her eyes widening for a moment before her hand reached up, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Uh, we’re not together any more. We haven’t been for, like the last five months.” The awkward silence that filled the room and she could feel her stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Is this young Ashton your new thing then?” Her eyes widened in shock and Ashton, who had taken that moment to take a drink from the water that her mum had offered, choked.

“No, he’s here as support. Uh, I’m going to be collecting the rest of my stuff from Allie’s this weekend so he offered to meet the family as well, get it out of the way and-”

“She was worried about possibly running into Allie. I was the most level headed out of the band when the breakup happened and she wanted someone who would be able to be objective and stop anything from happening.” Ashton interjected once he’d gotten his breath back.

“And prey-tell why are you not dating him then?”

“Hallie,” her mum hissed softly, “that’s none of our business.”

“It’s fine, mum. Uh, I’m not interested in Ashton. I see him more as my brother. He’s been really good to me on the tour and looked out for me, especially when we’ve done the city explorations.” She explained quietly and as her Aunt Hallie opened her mouth to ask something else, her mum cut in once more.

“Enough, Hallie. They’re not together, and she’s not with Allie. You’ve known this.” Y/N groaned.

“Please, I’m not in the UK for long, I just want to enjoy today with you guys.” Hallie sat back and fell silent as the kids began to badger Ashton. He was patient with them as they invited him to play on Mario Kart.

As Y/N had expected, Lucy had fallen very shy around Ashton, so she went to her younger cousin and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m almost certain that if you ask nicely, he’ll let you have a picture with him.” Her cheeks flushed pink as she hid her face in her side and she chuckled.

“Alright. You wanna stick with me?” A nod followed and so she had a shadow attached to her as she joined Ashton on the floor and talked with the other adults about the tour and where she’d visited.

The kids soon abandoned the game when she began to show them photos she’d taken, so Ashton showed them some of his own and that was when Lucy began to come out of her shell.

“S’pretty photo of Y/N.” Came the soft mumble at the photo that he’d taken of her in Glasgow. Ashton beamed at Lucy who immediately went bright red.

“She’s the worst for having photos taken of her though, we have to catch her off guard or only when she’s in a particular mood to have photos taken. When we were in Australia, we were trying to get a group shot of all of us on the beach and she rolled off her towel and onto the sand to not be in the photo.” This earned him a giggle from Lucy and she slowly inched away from Y/N to take a look at the photo he was showing.

Ashton seemed to have earned himself the shadow that was her younger cousin then and it was sweet as he answered every question she had and even as they went to get food from the buffet that her mum had laid out, he let her sit with him.

Y/N had disappeared into the kitchen after taking a photo of the two of them talking. Hallie pinned her with a look and she sighed.

“Listen, he is not my boyfriend. I’m not starting this argument with you on my day off. We’re not here for much longer, the car will be here in a couple of hours to get us back to London.”

“I was just going to say he’s a nice boy you could have to get over this silly indecisiveness you have.” A groan escaped her lips.

“I’m not indecisive. I’ve dated boys and girls. I like them both. You try this with me every damn time Aunt Hallie.”

“Hallie, we’re not doing this today. I haven’t seen my little girl in months. I’m not letting your inability to see past the end of your nose ruin this day. You know where the door is if you really have that much of a problem.”

“Fine.” Came the huff and she disappeared out to the garden where a few other cousins were sat talking and having a smoke.

“Thanks dad.” She breathed and fell into his open arms.

“It’s okay sweetheart. How are you really doing?” She sighed into his shoulder.

“I’ll be okay, but Ash is genuinely here for moral support. He’s coming at the weekend as well. I don’t think I’m ready to face her by myself.” Her dad nodded before pressing a kiss to her temple.

“You’ve got good friends, little one. Come on now, we need to make sure that your Aunt hasn’t interrogated the poor lad.”

Mercifully she hadn't said a word, because Lucy still held all of his attention.

“Hey Luce, why don’t you ask Ash the question you wanted to ask earlier?” She called to her younger cousin and watched as her cheeks went a bright red.

“Uh, could I please have a picture with you?” Her voice had gone very quiet and Ashton grinned.

“Of course! You’re my favourite, but don’t tell Y/N that.” She giggled at her mock look of offence and obliged in taking the photo of the two.

The conversations continued over the next couple of hours before she received the warning text that the driver was about five minutes out.

“Ash, we need to say our goodbyes, driver is about five minutes away.” This earned gentle whines from the kids who had seemingly flocked to Ashton. She giggled and snapped a quick photo of it before going around and saying her goodbyes to the relatives, Ashton following behind her.

She left her parents for last, and they saw the pair off at the door.

“I’m looking forward to seeing you this weekend. Are we expecting you on Friday?” Her mum questioned as she hugged the two of them, her dad following her mum’s footsteps.

“Yeah, it’ll be late though. I’ve still got my key so I can just let us in and we’ll crash in my old room.” Her mum nodded.

“I’ll make sure to set up the airbed as well. Have a safe journey and enjoy the rest of the tour. We’ll see you in a few days.” They both escaped to the car after another shout of goodbyes from the family and once they were driving away, she let out a breath of air in relief.

“I can see why you needed someone there. Man, your Aunt Hallie was slightly terrifying.” Ashton’s observation made her laugh as they talked about the day and the possibilities of where they were going tonight.

When they reached London, Ash had to nudge her awake because she’d fallen asleep on his shoulder.

It wasn’t too late, so after stopping at a drive-thru for some food, once they were back at the busses, she followed after Ashton, knowing that the others would be on the bus too.

“So, any spectacular parties we can go to?” Cal grinned at her question.

“Yep. You ready to get drunk?”

“After today? Yes please.” Came the response and the group laughed.

“She’s not kidding, her aunt was tough as nails.” At that she snorted.

“Aunt Hallie just has her own ideas of what relationship I should be in. She’s relentless.” Ashton laughed as he went to put on a different shirt. She kept her outfit on, not bothering to go and change and soon enough they were piling out of the tour bus into two taxis.

Ellie and Cara were on her immediately as the taxi pulled away. Luke smirked at her.

“So what happened?” Ellie asked first and Cara pouted before giving her a pointed look.

“My aunt assumed that Ashton was my new fling. My younger cousin had her year made because he spent time with her and gave her his undivided attention. I’m pretty sure my family are ready to adopt Ashton regardless of me dating him or not.” Luke laughed.

“He’s good like that. Was it nice to see your family?” She shrugged.

“A few times we had close calls with my aunt being a somewhat piece of shit about my sexuality. But my parents didn’t want the day ruined with an argument, so she let it drop thankfully.” She explained and Luke hummed in return.

As they pulled up to the party and were greeted by various people, it felt good to just drink and let loose.

She wasn’t as tightly wound like she was at the start of the week and with each shot, she found herself gravitating closer to Michael as the night progressed. He didn’t argue this as they danced together, his hands on her hips and she pressed herself closer as more bodies joined the makeshift dance floor.

And she wasn’t entirely sure at what point she made the decision, but when she looked at him, the bass of the song reverberating through her body, she watched as his eyes dropped to her lips.

Using her arms around his neck, she inched closer, and he didn’t protest and before she could stop herself, their lips were barely centimeters apart.

“You can kiss me, y’know.” He breathed and she closed the gap between them, his lips soft against hers and she found herself entirely melting against his body as he pulled her closer.

His lips parted against her tongue and she could taste the alcohol as she kissed him, his tongue meeting hers and she could feel her heart fluttering. Their bodies were still moving with the music and she pulled away, her breath catching.

“Holy shit.” He whispered and before she could think much about it, his lips were on hers once more.

As the night progressed, she stuck to his side. He didn’t protest this as they continued to drink and soon the night began to blur together, the only solid thing her memory able to recall was the feeling of Michael’s lips against hers.

When she woke up the next morning, she was half draped across Michael, in his bunk. Unlike the start of the tour, she carefully pulled herself over and carefully climbed out. He barely moved as she got to her feet and plucked her jeans from the bottom of the bunk, shimmying them on before moving to the front.

The bus wasn’t moving so she assumed that they were at the venue.

Stepping through, she was met with three smirking band members and she froze.

“So.” Luke started and she could feel warmth spread to her cheeks.

“You two finally kissed.” Ashton continued and she took the spot next to Calum who raised an eyebrow at her.

“So bisexual, huh?” She simply slumped forward, her arms folding on the table and resting her head on them.

“Can you guys, not be smug assholes for like, five minutes?” They laughed and she whined at the noise levels. They fell silent when another dull thud was heard and her heartbeat picked up. She opted to keep her head on her arms, not wanting to look up.

“Let’s grab some breakfast. Pretty sure that one of the crew members said there was a McDonald’s nearby.” Calum’s suggestion was like music to her ears as they all greeted Michael before disappearing off the bus.

“Are you gonna look at me?” Her head shot up from her arms, wincing at the sudden movement which made him smile slightly.

Butterflies flooded her stomach at that smile.

“Do you want to talk about last night?” Her question was answered with a small nod and suddenly, every word disappeared from her lips. She couldn’t figure out what to say.

“Did you want to kiss me? Like, it wasn’t just because you were drunk?” Michael finally asked and she nodded her head.

“I don’t know if it escaped your attention, but I like you, dumbass.” He stared at her for a second.

“But, Allie?” She shook her head.

“She’s exclusively dated girls. I’ve dated both.” She clarified and understanding washed over his features followed by a grin.

“So you like me?” She laughed.

“Have done for a while now, Clifford.” They both chuckled before silence fell around them.

“How do you want to do this?” He asked and she hesitated before sighing.

“We’re technically working together. I’m your opening act. I know there’s like two weeks of tour left but-”

“It wouldn’t look good if we were public with any of this.” His body deflated and she moved from her spot, sliding herself onto his lap, straddling his legs so she could face him completely. His hands automatically rested on her hips, holding her there and his cheeks took on a pinkish hue.

He looked adorable in her opinion.

“Don’t think I don’t want to date you, because I do. But I don’t want to be public about it. Not yet, and especially not whilst we’re on tour. That’s just asking for trouble.” He nodded in understanding and when his gaze dropped to her lips, she smiled slightly.

“You can kiss me y’know.” She murmured his words from the previous night, making him smile before his lips connected with hers the second she finished her sentence. This kiss was sweeter, no alcohol fuelling these decisions and it wasn’t the first thing she could taste. Her body melded against his, his grip on her hips tightening slightly before their lips pulled away.

“The next two weeks are going to fucking suck.” He muttered and she giggled softly.

“I know, but when we’re away from prying eyes, you can kiss me all you want.” She hummed and his lips met hers in response.

They stayed like that until the boys came back and she reluctantly slid off his lap, sharing a soft kiss as she did so. This earned a wolf whistle.

“About time you two. Right, we have food and you both need to get ready for soundcheck soon.” Ashton reminded them both and they shared grins before accepting the breakfast offered and she settled against his side as they ate.

As they reached the end of the week, after the last UK show, both Y/N and Ashton rushed onto their busses to grab quick showers and a change of clothes.

She stuck to travelling in comfortable clothes and packed two changes of clothes. Ellie, Cara and Rich got onto the bus as she finished throwing her charger into the carry on and before she could leave Ellie pulled her into a tight hug.

The stress that had been building up all week dissipated somewhat at that.

“I needed that.” She muttered and Cara laughed.

“Hence why Ellie is the one giving you the hug. Just don’t get into any fights and we’ll see you in two days, alright?” She nodded her head and waved to them as she disappeared off the bus. Screams erupted as she emerged and she briefly waved to the groups of fans that were at the barriers.

She didn’t even hesitate as she punched in the code to get onto the bus and found Ashton emerging from the bunks, his carry on slung across the shoulder.

“No lover boy to see you off?” He teased and she rolled her eyes.

“I already got my kiss goodbye. Why, you need one from Cal?” She teased and he laughed loudly as they exited the bus once more. The screams grew louder as they headed to the waiting car for them, getting their stuff in before climbing in.

The journey was quiet, both of them on their phones as the headed down the motorway. It wasn’t as long as they’d anticipated, due to it being so late at night. But when they reached the house hours later, it was verging on three am and both were starting to lag by this point, yawns escaping them both every now and then.

As they crept into the house as quietly as possible, she guided Ashton to her childhood bedroom and when she flicked on the light, she felt her lips pull back into a wide smile.

The airbed was made up with blankets and pillows and her own bed had fresh covers on them judging by the note that was sat on her pillow.

‘Fresh blankets and clean sheets. See you both in the morning, love mum x’

Ashton chuckled as she switched her bedside lamp on and turned the main light off, helping Ashton find a plug for his phone charger before crawling under her covers, plugging her own phone in to charge.

“Night Y/N.” Ashton muttered quietly and she flicked the light off.

“Night Ash.”

When the pair woke the next morning, it was to the sounds of the radio and the smell of cooked food.

Rolling onto her side, she spotted that Ashton was awake and scrolling through his twitter feed.

“There better not be any sleeping photos, Irwin.” She mumbled as she stretched out on her bed and Ash laughed as he looked over to her.

“You’re good. I felt like being reasonably kind to you today.”

“You’re so nice to me.”

“I try.”

They laughed before she finally rolled out of her bed and Ashton got up. Grabbing her phone, the pair headed downstairs and were met with the sight of her mum cooking breakfast whilst her dad was sat at the kitchen table.

“Morning.” She kissed her dads cheek as she made her way to the fridge to grab some juice.

“Morning you two. How was the journey last night?” Her mum asked as she began to plate up the food. Ashton took a seat at the kitchen table opposite her dad.

“Not bad. It was quite on the motorway so we didn’t really hit any traffic. I think it was about three when we got in?” She hummed in agreement.

“Yeah, three sounds about right. Did you want some juice Ash?”

“Please.”

As they ate breakfast, it was mostly quiet as the two devoured their breakfasts, much to the amusement of Y/N’s parents.

“Do they not feed you on tour?” Her dad commented and she laughed.

“The boys eat like horses. However, we didn’t grab a bite to eat after the show last night. So I guess we’re kind of hungry.” She explained as she finished up her food before pushing the plate away.

Ashton followed her example a moment later.

“That was really nice, thank you ma’am.”

“So polite.” Her mum beamed as her dad collected the plates and did the last bit of the washing up. Once he was back at the table, her mum pinned her with a look..

“We realised that you’re probably going around to Allie’s today. What did you want us to do with your stuff?” At this, the two exchanged a look and this gained both of her parents attention.

“Little one?”

“Well, I kinda bought a house whilst I was out there. I got my citizenship because my job is technically based over there now. So it made it easier to apply.” She admitted and waited as the news sunk in for both of her parents.

“So you’re moving out there for good now?” Her mum’s tone broke her heart and she pressed her lips together, trying to find the right words but without hurting her parents feelings.

Ashton stepped in and rescued her.

“It’s easier for the artist to be based close to home for some record companies. Because Y/N is such a fresh face who has had a massive upswing with her music, like there wasn’t much promotion for her stuff, but she still managed to get number one in thirteen different countries. So with her moving to LA is beneficial on both sides of the fence. It also gives her more opportunities to work with different artists because despite the reputation that LA has, it’s the place to be to get your name out there.”

She could have honestly kissed Ashton in that moment.

“So you’re saying that it’d give her exposure?” Her mum clarified and Ashton nodded.

“Various artists and bands across all genres find themselves in LA. Making those connections are always crucial and she’s made the best kind of connections already. And it’s not like she won’t have friends out there.”

She watched as her dad processed the information.

“Dad?”

“It’s a lot to take in, you moving across the world. But this is what you’ve dreamed of since you were a little girl. Who are we to cause a rift because we don’t like the decision? We knew you’d have to fly the nest eventually, maybe not so far, but we expected it after you moved in with Allie.”

She let out a breath of air she hadn’t realised she’d been holding at his words and he smiled.

“Trust me little one, we will miss you, but this is your dream. You know we’ll support you regardless.” At her mums nod, her shoulders relaxed and Ashton nudged her side.

“Told you it’d be fine.” The playful jab made laughter ring around the table as she stood and stretched.

“I’m going to get ready. We need to collect the stuff from Allie’s sooner rather than later and then maybe tonight we can go out for dinner?” She questioned her parents who shared a look before nodding.

They both went and got ready, Ashton heading to the bathroom to get changed.

When they got downstairs, she picked up her car keys and called out a goodbye as they headed out of the door.

“Didn’t realise that you could drive.” Ashton commented as she slid into the driver's seat.

“How else was I going to get around for tour?” She snorted. “I’ll need to take my test in the states, but I can drive. I might sell this car and whatever money I get from it I can put towards a new car over there.” She mused as she made the achingly familiar journey.

As she pulled up, she noticed that the car was in the driveway and her breathing hitched.

“You’ve got this. C’mon.” Ashton encouraged, climbing out of the car. It was only when he opened her door did she move and finally got out of the car, slowly walking up to the house.

Knocking on the door, her heart plummeted as an unfamiliar face opened the door.

“Hi, how can I help you?”

“Uh, is Allie here?”

“Babe, someone at the door for you.” The stranger called back. Allie appeared moments later and her face dropped.

“Oh. Y/N. Hi Ashton.” He nodded at her in return and she looked away from him.

“I’ve come to collect my stuff.” Allie seemed to paused for a second before nodding.

“Yeah, uh it’s in the garage. Let me just, grab the keys for it.” She disappeared from the door for a moment before returning and the two followed behind Allie as she walked to the garage door.

“So, how was tour?” The words were hesitant and she could feel the burning frustration mixed with hurt bubble in her chest.

“Still on it.” Came the short response and she felt a minor satisfaction as Allie flinched at her tone.

Once the garage door was open, she showed the two where her stuff was being kept and she felt grateful that there was the small mercy of it already being packed away. She didn’t want to be here longer than necessary.

It didn’t take too long to load the boxes into the car, Allie standing by, watching the pair as they shifted the last of her stuff. Once it was done and the garage door was closed once more, Y/N fished around for her keys before finding the key to the house.

“Might want to give your new girl that one. Have a nice life, and I hope it works out for you.” The words were bitter, tired. But Allie simply nodded her head, clasping the key in her hand.

“Take care.” She whispered as the two headed back to the car and she eventually headed into the house.

She lasted five minutes driving before she had to pull over, her shoulders shaking and tears blurring her vision. Ashton didn’t hesitate as he wrapped his arms around her and allowed her to get it out of her system.

There was no rush as she cried, her body tired as the tears finally slowed and the sobs died down.

“Better?” She nodded.

“Better.”

---

With the weight of her move now off her shoulders, her parents promising to get her stuff shipped to her new place, the rest of the tour felt easier.

It was the last show in Madrid when she surprised fans with the song she felt that she couldn’t play before. But she knew that her heart was on the mend.

“Over the last few months, you guys have seen me pretty much hit rock bottom. I got my heart broken whilst I was mid-tour and it sucked. And this song, it was once her song. But it doesn’t hurt so much anymore. So this song, this song is for all of you. This is your song now.”

She could see the boys side stage as she danced and sang the song, the crowd singing the lyrics right back at her and it felt like relief flooding her bones.

When she finished her set and rushed off, she was swept into tight hugs from all of the boys, Michael patiently waiting till last as they moved away from the stage, his lips meeting hers softly.

“So you’re getting there, huh?” He teased and she grinned.

“Had some help from some amazing friends. But yeah. I’m getting there birthday boy.” She hummed and his lips met hers once more.

“Pack it in love birds, we need him coherent for the show.” Calum called over to the two of them, making her giggle as he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

“You guys suck. You need to be nicer to me on my birthday.” He called back and Calum rolled his eyes.

“It might be your birthday in Australia, but it isn’t here. Not yet. So no I don’t need to be nicer to you.” Calum fired back making the others laugh as Michael pouted.

“Don’t worry. It’ll be your birthday when we fly home.”

“Jet lag is gonna kick our asses.” She laughed as they got their ten minute stage warning.

“Yeah well, we’ll have days after your birthday to recover. So don’t fret. Now go be a good rockstar and enjoy the night.” He grinned, his lips meeting hers once more before vanishing after his bandmates.

The last show went off without a hitch and so began the journey to LA. And despite knowing she had her own place out there, when Michael offered for her to stay over at his when they landed, she simply nodded in agreement.

They’d barely had time to drop their stuff off at his before they were being picked up again and Michael kept asking her if she knew anything.

It was difficult to keep a straight face, especially when she was so tired, so she simply let her head rest on his shoulder, shrugging as she did so.

“I don’t know what’s been planned. I was just told to stick with you.” He snorted at that and settled before they arrived at the venue and as he entered, she found herself beaming as he greeted his parents with enthusiasm, despite how tired she knew he was.

She was quickly pulled over and introduced to his parents, both who spent their time talking with her whilst he greeted everyone, unable to contain his laughter as he saw his bandmates.

“It was like, thirty minutes ago I saw you three I think? It’s been a long time, man.” This earned him tired chuckles.

Thankfully, she wasn’t expected to mingle with everyone, so whilst Michael was catching up with his friends, she stuck to the guys, trying to keep herself awake as the night grew on.

“How close are you to passing out right now?” Ashton murmured and she giggled softly.

“You’re the reason I’m still stood upright, Irwin. You’re not allowed to move.” The two of them laughed before there was calls for cake and they finally moved closer, Michael’s eyes lighting up when he spotted her. He coaxed her to his side and she did so without much argument, her body fighting the exhaustion at this point.

“I know that there are some that want me to go out, but I’m ready to just crash if I’m honest.” He hummed and she grinned at him.

“Best idea you’ve had all day, Clifford.” This made him chuckle as the gathered group of friends began to sing Happy Birthday to him and his hand slipped in hers as he blew out the candles.

By the time the cake had been cut, she’d found herself sat next to him, her face nestled against his shoulder. She was beyond caring about what people would assume at this point, and when Michael pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head in full view of all of their friends, earning the whistles from his band mates, she relaxed.

“They won’t necessarily care that I’m this affectionate with you. But I can bet you that there will be photos all over the internet in the next hour of that.” He murmured and she snorted.

“Too tired to care. M’gonna worry about that tomorrow.” She hummed in return and he snickered.

When they got back to his place, instead of crawling into the guest room like she’d planned, unsure on what the sleeping arrangement was going to be, his fingers laced with hers and he pulled her into his room, the both of them getting changed into comfier clothes.

Crawling into bed beside him, she barely managed a whispered ‘goodnight’ before she was asleep, Michael following after almost immediately.

The next morning, or afternoon at least, when she woke up, she found herself happy enough to just remain cuddled into Michael, her eyes still heavy with sleep.

“Morning.” He groaned softly as she shifted onto her side to curl closer to him.

“Afternoon.” She fired back with a yawn and he laughed.

It took them both another hour to actually pull themselves from the bed, and that was when they realised that there was no food in his house and their stuff was in need to get washed.

“So much to do, too tired to care.” He groaned into her neck as they stood in the kitchen, her body leaning against his.

“I know, but we need food and we also need clean clothes. Especially for another party in a couple of days.” She kept the mention as casual as possible, but he spun her around with ease, her back pressing into the kitchen counter.

“Oh? And what party would that be?” He queried as his thumbs began to rub gentle circles on her hips.

“My housewarming party. Last time we were in LA, Ash helped me find a place to move into and get it ready for when we got back from tour.” His lips curved into a big smile.

“Look at you getting you own place,” he teased, lips meeting hers softly, “guess I have a better reason to clean my stuff now.” He murmured against her lips and she nodded in agreement.

“Yes you do. And you also have a reason to get your ass into gear and get breakfast. We’re both hungry and need to do something.” He laughed.

“Fine. But you’re coming with me. That photo from last night has probably done the rounds already. No point in trying to hide us now.”

“Considering that we’re not on tour anymore, I guess so. But I don’t want to be blatantly obvious about it.” She warned him, allowing him to pull her back upstairs to his bedroom.

“Fine.”

As they settled back into a routine, Y/N finally moving her stuff into her new place with the help of the boys, she found herself feeling more at home than she’d ever felt in England.

Her house party only seemed to enhance that as various friends celebrated her move in, amazed she’d managed to keep the move so quiet.

“Ashton helped me find a place and people aren’t willing to go against someone who looks like him. Plus because I wasn’t even moved into the place it was easy enough to get it off public record that I bought the house.”

She did her rounds with the various people, meeting new faces as well. She felt more welcomed as many greeted her with warm hugs and shouts of excitement at the fact she was moved into LA.

Alex especially had words to say, his arm slung around his wife.

“Listen, when I first met you, I just thought you’d be some punk kid, not going to lie. You were not what I expected at all.” He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes taking a swig of her beer.

Her eyes travelled to his bandmates who she’d extended the invite to, the only one declining was Zack, who was in Hawaii at the time.

“Listen, I didn’t expect you to be such a task master, but there you were, cracking the whip, trying to get me to work out that damn order for the album.” She snarked in return, earning laughter from the people surrounding the group.

Michael had slotted himself just behind her, his arm resting around her waist gently.

“Hey, it got you a kickass album, “ Alex fired back, “how is that coming along?”

“They’ve agreed to the twelve songs, six of which have been recorded or at least demoed. I’ve got Christmas off, so I’ll probably lock myself away and work on some more songs, at least get a tune down with the piano or guitar.” She explained with a shrug.

“If you’re lacking company at Christmas, we’re staying in LA this year, so you’re more than welcome to join us. You too, Mike.” Lisa offered and she beamed at the older woman.

“I’ll take you up on the offer. My parents know I can’t constantly fly there and back on a whim at the moment, especially whilst working on the album.” Alex nodded in understanding.

“It’s difficult, but you’ve got us and everyone else here, so you’re not short on guests or even places to go.” Y/N chuckled.

“It’s appreciated, trust me.”

She finally moved along to a few others, keeping a firm grip on Michael’s hand. He didn’t protest as they moved from group to group, talking about the album, the tour and everything in between. She knew this was the best choice she’d made in a long time.

It was after the houseparty, when almost all of the the guests had left, the housewarming gifts left on the dining room table, did she finally pull Michael upstairs, his lips curved up in an amused smile.

His lips were all over her as he pressed her into the bed sheets once their clothing was shed.

His name was the only thing that she could say coherently that night.

Waking up with him the next morning, his skin against hers, she realised how much she actually enjoyed the feeling especially knowing it was his arms she was waking up in.

Their journey to Australia wasn’t too bad. She was mostly jittery when Michael brought her around to his parents.

“I know you’ve already met her, but this is my girlfriend, Y/N.” He introduced the three of them properly, shocking her for a solid minute before her lips grew into this untouchable smile.

“So I’m your girlfriend, huh?” She teased him later that night as they lay together, cuddled tightly. He groaned.

“Would you like me to do a song and dance routine to ask you to be my girlfriend?” He murmured, shifting himself so that he was hovering above her, his lips at her neck.

“No, but clarification would be nice next time.” She breathed, a soft moan escaping as he found her sweet spot.

“Will you, please, be my girlfriend?” He murmured against her skin before pulling away, his eyes searching her face.

“Of course I will, dumbass.” His lips met hers once more.

His parents were easy going and she could see where his laid back nature came from.

“So are your parents going to be at the ARIA’s?” Karen asked the day before the awards show. She smiled ruefully into her cup of tea.

“I wish they were, but the cost of them to fly out was a lot more than I anticipated. So they’re going to be up stupidly early and try to watch a stream. But it’s the thought that counts for me, I know that my dad would’ve been there in a heartbeat if he could.” The two of them traded a quiet giggle as Michael followed in behind his dad, dropping a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“You okay?” He murmured and she nodded her head.

“Yeah, your rehearsal go okay?” Hers had been first thing that day, making her reluctant to leave the warm bed and her boyfriend. When she’d returned, he had already gotten up and left for his own rehearsal.

“Yeah. We’ve also seen the seating. You’re only a few seats away from us. Luke is next to Nicole Kidman.” This made her giggle.

Performing at the ARIA’s was certainly something she’d never expected to be doing, but the way that her song had been received, and seeing even the famous faces singing along, it melted her heart.

It was when she won Best Upcoming Artist that it really struck her that this was an actual event happening.

As she walked by the boys, she hugged all four of them, Michael’s lips lingering on her cheek for a moment before she rushed to the stage, her eyes staring at the award in her hand, shock being the only emotion that she could fully comprehend.

“This time last year, I had no idea where my life was going to go. I’d not long returned from LA I’d been offered the chance of a lifetime to not only record my EP with some incredible people, but I landed myself a record contract and chance of a lifetime. All I had was a finished single that was about to get released to the world and an EP that I was nervous about releasing. But seeing how quickly it gained traction, oh my god. I can only thank the people who have been so supportive of me, John Feldmann, Alex Gaskarth, the boys in 5 Seconds of Summer, my parents who are going to go ballistic over the phone when they see this.” This earned her laughter amongst the crowd.

“Just wow. Thank you so much for this.” She knew that she hadn’t been prepared, she hadn’t expected to win. But she had.

And when Michael found her later on, his smug grin said it all.

“I do believe I can say, I fucking told you so.” He teased her, crouching in front of her. She rolled her eyes.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up.” She muttered before leaning forward and kissing him quickly.

“So much for not being so blatant?” He teased and she groaned.

“I really don’t care right now. I’m happy. I won an award I didn’t think I’d even be nominated for. Literally a year ago I was a nobody.”

“And look at you now. I’m telling you, your own world tour will be next.” This made her laugh as she shook her head and they were called back to their own seats.

True to prediction, her parents called her, her mum screaming in excitement and her dad rattling off about how proud he was. Michael had his arms around her as she felt the tears roll down her cheeks. This was what made the move worth it.

The news did its round of their kiss, and she knew that there would be plenty of articles trashing her, but she cared less when they returned to LA, his hand in hers as they left the airport.

“I guess this is making us a thing now?” He teased he as they caught glimpse of another article online. She groaned.

“Pretty sure you need to take me out to dinner first, Clifford. Boyfriend or not.” He laughed.

“So, dinner?”

She could only laugh as he kissed her soundly, her heart racing as she smiled into the kiss. Things would be just fine.

---

tag list: @cals-babylons , @glitterprincelu , @calumspeachy , @wrappedaroundcal , @cosmocalum , @mistletoemichael , @talkfastfletcher , @hereforlukescruff , @astroashtonio , @catchinqcalum , @roselukes , @5saucewho, @babylon-uncrowned , @dontstopisagoodsongchangemymind , @therainydays4 , @asht0ns-world , @silverchainbee , @hidd3nfangirl , @doodleasouarus , @empathycth , @mylovehes , @songforhema , @kinglyhood , @youngblood199456 , @makecoffeenotwars , @5squash , @negative-love , @softboycal , @kinglycalum , @you-of-ghost , @meetyoutheremgc , @lmao5sosimagines , @lietoash , @aw-hawkeye , @biggestslutforcalum , @drummerboy794 , @itjustkindahappenedreally, @mycollectionofnuts , @coreybryanttrash , @abitloudforanaccousticset , @boytoynamedcalum , @teampreator , @dukehoods , @dweebluke , @calumhampton , @lashtoncurls , @toofadedtofight , @gigglyirwin , @blue-skies-are-alright , @hearts-to-the-sky , @tiddlerrr , @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you , @thesensationalcalum , @ashtxns-hxe , @cakeassx-blog , @dancingonanemptywallet , @rotten-kandy , @vipclifford , @musiclover1263 , @irwinsbambi ,  @rosecoloredash , @jpgluke , @cathartichaoss , @5secondssofssummer , @cozyfivesos , @balsamichood , @cliffordstxngue , @lukesbellas , @myloverboyash , @cxddlyash , @issuffering , @gabiatthedisco , 

There are some blogs who have changed their urls that I haven’t caught. Also there are a few I can’t seem to tag, please make sure that your blog is searchable. If you want to be added to the tag list, drop me a message.

#this took so god damn long #but i am so proud of this oh my god #if u wanna be added to the taglist pls message me #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford blurbs #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford imagines #bi series #michael clifford x bi reader #5sos imagines #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos blurbs #michael clifford fic #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer imagine #5 seconds of summer blurb #5 seconds of summer blurbs #my writing

[angelaiswriting]

The Assistant (5 of ?) | Vladimir Ranskahov x reader

[original picture: pinterest]

✏️ Pairings:

(eventual) Vladimir Ranskahov x fem!reader

Anatoly Ranskahov x OC (Paulina)

probably other pairings in the future

✏️ Requested by @kellydixon01  : Y/N–hacker, big mouth, even bigger attitude–is the new addition to Fisk’s team. Sent to help the Ranskahovs, she immediately gets on Vladimir’s nerves. But as time passes, they start to take a liking to each other, even if none of them is willing to admit their feelings. Yet.

✏️ A/N: for once I have nothing to say haha hopefully not a bad chapter, but I’m glad I managed to write after these days of hell. (Hopefully there aren’t too many mistakes)

✏️ A/N 2: jk I have stuff to say. Any ‘hacking scene’ from now on is just based on my imagination, I don’t have the strenght (psychological or physical) to search realistic things now, it’s a rough period + I used google to research one Hungarian name (Miklos) and one Hungarian surname (Dobos) so I hope they’re not wrong; in that case, I’m sorry. Why Hungarian mob? I don’t know, but I did a project on Hungary in middle school and I remember I liked it. Is there anything like Hungarian mob? I don’t know, but for the sake of this chapter I hope so haha Why not Italian? Bc I’m Italian and it’s often Italian mob in fics and movies and it’s tiring after a bit, so... HAHA #sorrynotsorry #letschangeitupalil

✏️ Warnings: mention of murder and that’s probably it

✏️ Word-count: 2,870

📚 To read the previous chapters, click on the MASTERLIST link in my bio (unfortunately I can’t put links here if I want my post to come up in search results. I apologize.)

CHAPTER FIVE: MIKLOS DOBOS

Vladimir had never been this close to Y/N. Stuffed on the back seat of the car with her between him and his brother, he was seething.

Her shoulder pressed against his and his knee bumped against hers every time Aslan drove over a hole in the asphalt, almost as though he was doing it on purpose. He didn’t know if the buzzing feeling in his brain was due to such close proximity on her part or simply because he was still pissed by the fact that Tolya had allowed her–had insisted and bugged him all day for her–to come with them. It was probably a combination of both, but Volodya didn’t exactly care. As long as he didn’t have to drive her home, he was good.

Or, at least, he was good as long as he kept his distance from his own apartment. He had known right from the start that the chances of Y/N having dipped into the privacy of his life were pretty high, but he had never considered, in the days he had spent trying to work with her–keyword: trying–that she would do something like moving in next door.

If this wasn’t the sign he had been waiting for–consciously or not–, the proof of her spying on him and his brother and his business in general, he truly didn’t know what else could be. She hadn’t stopped working for Fisk just as she had never started to work for him, he reasoned now.

Now more than ever he wished he had someone to cover his back or to stop his finger from pulling the trigger of his gun because he didn’t want to disappoint his brother by killing that woman.

Her presence in the apartment in front of his–and next to him now, for that matter–had the same shocking effect of dipping naked in ice-cold water. And he had done that–and on many an occasion–but he had never been forced to and it had never been a surprise.

This, however, was a lot more than his already feeble patience could take.

And to ask him–to force him–to take Y/N along to go ransom the last part of the payment before the shipment got–well–shipped was like asking him to suddenly turn into a saint when he wasn’t even a good person, to begin with.

“Did we really have to-”

“Don’t start now,” Tolik cut him off, slightly turning his head in his brother’s direction to warn him that his patience was running thin.

They had both used Russian–Vladimir because he didn’t give a fuck, Anatoly because he did give a fuck and the last thing he wanted was to risk insulting her and end up on the first page of a hacker’s black book.

No one spoke again after that, at least not before Aslan reached the location Y/N had chosen and turned off the engine.

“They’re not here yet,” Sergei pointed out, sticking his head out of the window to check the area. “What do we do now?”

“Now we wait.” Y/N’s back was relaxed against the leather seat of the SUV as she opened up the laptop she had on her knees and switched it on.

Her calmness was irritating: it made Vladimir’s skin itch and his brain pound like a military march in the confinements of his skull. He truly didn’t know what it was about her that had that effect on him and made that sort of primal instinct resurface, but here he was and he was definitely not happy.

Who did she think she was to know what to do better than him or his brother? To claim the right to choose what was good and what was wrong in his business? To stomp into his office and demand he follow her orders? Like some dog?

And now here they were, at the pier, the Hudson river peacefully flowing in front of them. The gentle night breeze breathed in through the open front window, caressing their cheeks with its cool tendrils, and it carried the sound of honks being pressed on in the early night traffic. And still, the Hungarians were nowhere to be seen.

Vladimir already didn’t like them–and it wasn’t because the mudaki were late, for it wasn’t that late when he checked his watch. He hated them because they always tried to trick him, because there was this one Hungarian dick at the fights that seemed to have taken it upon himself to piss the shit out of Vladimir. He wasn’t part of the mob, of course, he was just some twenty-four bitch that had fun beating the blood out of people’s noses, but it was such a minuscule detail that Vlad didn’t care.

And if this was going to turn out to be the debacle of Dobos’ irritating organization, then so be it. Vladimir Ranskahov was just waiting for the right time to lower the saber on the dick’s neck and watch his pitiful society die like a rat in a trap.

What pissed him off even more was, again, Y/N’s presence not just in the car, but at the meeting. There was no way he was going to let a newbie take part to it, and it wasn’t just because she hacked things for someone else–or, well, maybe yeah, maybe that was part of the reason behind his annoyance.

The biggest issue was Miklos Dobos’ attitude towards newbie–or people in general, for that matter. He didn’t trust them, and even when–and if–they won his trust, he still continued on with his doubts and he’d do anything in his power to protect himself as best as he could. And this usually translated into stricter controls and suspects–and greater irritation on the part of the people that had to deal with him.

Which, in this case, translated into the figure of Vladimir Ranskahov. And he was anything but happy.

Vlad had his own problems with newbies, too–he didn’t know about Tolya, but he sure as hell did have problems with newbies. And from this point of view, he wasn’t even that different from Dobos. He only worked with people he trusted, who had crimes behind their backs that he respected, and who respected him. Y/N didn’t have his trust nor his respect–yet, for he wanted to hope that one day he would be able to at least stand her.

Newbies could very well be time bombs in situations like the one they were all going to live. They could get scared at anything, or blurt out something they should have never told, or do crap in general and blow everything up. It was a fragile world, the underworld. It sure had a tough face, but the body was of fine crystal and anything could shatter it. Alliances were never forever–it didn’t matter how hard Wesley was fucking himself with that idea, even the whole Gao-Fisk-Ranskahovy affiliation was going to go to shit one day–and literally anything could undermine a thriving organization. Newbies were that threat: they could inadvertently blow a whole world up if they hadn’t been delivered the right education.

This was exactly why Vladimir and Anatoly Ranskahov refused to hire anyone who hadn’t served their time in jail–be it in Russia or America or anywhere else on the globe, it didn’t really matter, not as much as the committed crime did. And hacking into people’s lives and businesses didn’t exactly count as a crime in the brothers’ eyes. It was something anyone could do–at varying degrees, of course. They might not have been able to hack into someone’s bank account, but they still knew their ways and had their informants–or they could just use a gun and get it over with it.

Yet, this girl was probably going to prove herself to be one of his nightmares.

Vladimir was sure she hadn’t even seen a corpse before. Sure, she might have seen Granny or Gramps in their coffin, dead people on the news or on newspapers, but she had never been mere inches from someone who had just been shot in the head, nor had she ever had someone else’s blood splatter on her face or on her clothes.

She was a fucking time bomb, ticking their last seconds away, and Vlad couldn’t understand how Anatoly couldn’t see it.

It was Anatoly’s idea to let her come–maybe she had bugged him too, but Tolik had had the last word on the matter. It was Anatoly’s idea that they accept her presence just because some fat dick wanted so. And if they were going to go down in a bloodbath, it was going to be Anatoly’s idea and Vladimir was going to have the right excuse to kick his brother’s ass all the way into the afterlife.

“What are you doing?” She had stuck something into her laptop and may he be damned if he wasn’t going to find out what that was. He was no tech-genius, and at the same time, he was no stupid.

“Blocking phone signal,” she shrugged, sparing him a glance before going back to work. “I’m going to knock out their chances of calling anyone, but your phones won’t be immune, either. So I guess this is the time I understand whether I can trust you or not.”

Vladimir scoffed. “What about you?”

“Told you on day one.” She turned towards him this time and one of her hand ran to partially lower the monitor of her laptop. “I’m not here to spy. I’m here to help you. You are one stubborn dick, aren’t you?”

“And you are sneaky bitch. You still have not proved my suspicions wrong.”

But another car had parked on the other side of the open space, a grey Mercedes whose shiny surface reflected the light of the lampposts nearby. They stared as Dobos’ driver got out of the car and only then did Aslan and Sergei follow his example.

“Stay down and try not to get seen,” Anatoly ordered her, fixing the holster of his gun underneath the jacket of his suit.

“This would have been easier if you hadn’t let her come,” Vladimir commented in Russian and as he exited the car, he missed Y/N’s smirk at his words.

But she did as she was told: she crouched down behind the driver’s seat, laptop resting where Vladimir had been sat just seconds before and prayed with all her might to get out of that meeting alive and undiscovered.

Vladimir was praying, too, and he truly couldn’t fathom how his brother could be so calm and composed when they were basically violating the accords they had with the Hungarians.

Dobos got out of his car only when the Ranskahovs had reached their driver and Sergei. He was an imposing man: tall, big, with broad shoulders and a shiny bald head that shone brighter than the recently-washed roof of his own car.

He was a chicken, though, and the Ranskahovs knew that, and that was why he was flanked on either side by two other men, big but not as big as he was, with scarred faces and tattooed necks.

What irked Vladimir was the fact that those two bodyguards were new, they weren’t the ones Miklos Dobos usually used when they had to meet. He had never seen them, hadn’t been informed of that change and he did not like that. Not one bit.

“New men I see,” he groaned, pointing at the people in question with a nod of his head.

Dobos smirked and the fingers of his right hand rose to touch the crucifix that hung from his necklace. “Others have gone meet God.” He stopped two feet behind his driver and a fourth man got out of the front seat of the grey car, opened the trunk and grabbed two black bags. “Did you ship shipment?”

“We ship when meeting is over,” Anatoly pointed out. Dobos’ question ringed suspicious to his ears, for he had never asked such dumb things, but he didn’t think about it, not immediately at least. “You know that. It’s how we work, or have you forgotten?”

Dobos grimaced and threw a glance at the man on his left, a quick glance that Vladimir didn’t like. The Hungarian’s behavior was starting to smell fishy. “Three hundred grands,” he said and the man that had joined the party last let the bags fall to the ground in the no man’s land that separated the two parties. “Like accord.”

Sergei had already taken a step forward when Vladimir stopped him with a hand on the shoulder. “We check it first,” he declared and he himself walked to the bags, picked them up and then retreated, not turning his back to the Hungarians in front of him.

And stinking it was: Miklos Dobos gritted his teeth, his hand reaching the crucifix once again, but after a second of tension, he let out a soft sigh. “Why would we cheat you, Ranskahov? We have always paid.”

True, but they had never ordered such a big shipment and they had never had to pay such big money.

“New policies,” Vlad grinned. He took a step back and when Dobos’ men moved their hands over their guns, he spoke again. “I’m going to count money on hood of our car.”

It was going to be a slow count, every present was sure of that, but no one protested–not even Dobos, too intent in praying God Vladimir would be quick and superficial in his counting.

Vlad dropped the bags on the hood, still grinning in the direction of the other men, and as he turned, he briefly met Y/N’s questioning gaze as she stared at him from between the front seats behind which she was hiding. You better start praying too, girl, he thought, for he was sure the meeting was going to end in blood.

He unzipped the first bag slowly, almost begging he was just being paranoid and took out the first wad of bills. He counted them, touched them, almost sniffed them, but the green money was real. As were the bills in the second, third and fourth wads. He couldn’t say the same about those in the fifth: the first and last bills of the wad didn’t seem weird, but the ones in the middle didn’t seem to flow like the ones he had handled until now.

Brows furrowed, he refrained himself from turning towards Tolik or from seizing his gun. It could very well be his paranoia playing tricks on him. There was no reason why the Hungarians, weak as they were, would trick them. They had always paid on time and with nice money–maybe less than tonight, but that didn’t matter. And sure, their society was on the rise these days, but it didn’t mean anything.

His hands still ripped the band keeping the wad together and he stared at them as if those tattooed fingers belonged to someone else.

He was so not in the mood for blood or killing, tonight. He just wanted to stop to buy a pizza, go home and watch the boxing match on TV, drink more vodka than his stomach and liver could stand and smoke a well-deserved cigarette in the quietness of his apartment. It didn’t matter that he had Y/N living just next door, he was going to enjoy the rest he worked so hard for.

But Dobos thought he could play him. Thought he could trick someone who had been tricked by life in worse ways. Thought he could trick who now considered himself untrickable–though he was, and that fucking cheap mob boss proved that he could, indeed, be played like a whore.

The bills in the fifth wad had been counterfeited.

His fingers twitched, his tattooed rings burned and as his gaze met Y/N’s once again, he felt the blood in his brain reach boiling point.

“Everything alright?” came Dobos’ voice and at that moment it did sound like a dead’s voice.

“Da,” he yelled back, but he was still staring at the girl in his car and he wished she could do something, let Tolya or Aslan or Seriozha know they had to open fire on those motherfuckers. He snapped the bands of the wads he had checked open, piled the bills in a neat stack and grabbed both them and the bags before going back to the others. “But I have question,” he continued as the bags fell to the ground with a dull thud. His left hand knocked twice on his left thigh and as his own men and Tolik were staring at him, he knew they had caught the message. “What, exactly, made you think you could play us?”

In a heartbeat, the bills he had had in his right hand were flying through the air, momentarily blinding Dobos and his men, while the Ranskahovs and their own men fired.

The deafening sound of shots seemed to roll down the street lights, tumbling over Dobos’ Mercedes before, a heartbeat later, shell casings jingled on the wet asphalt.

*

Feedback and suggestions are always appreciated. Thank you for reading, I love you all 💛

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Stay Alive (lafayette x reader)

a/n : okay well first of all, i'm still mad about the oscars. but moving on ... right now i have 5 followers but here's another one with laf and please make sure you give me requests and all that jazz. give me feedback too! i'm new to this so i would like to have people to help me! alrighty enjoy!! warnings : anxiety, panic attacks, one curse word, google translate, and this is my second fic so probably sucky writing summary : reader is john laurens' sister who is a soldier fyi and she doesn't go to the duel with charles lee because she is scared and has panic attack and then laf comforts her — "YOU WHAT?" you shouted at your brother John. "I had to. Alex was getting so mad at him and then Washington told him to not do anything so I had to challenge Lee to a duel. He needs to shut up for once. Did you hear what he was saying about George?" John responded. "Of course, everyone heard but you are going to die! I need you alive! (a/n - see that reference?) You're my big brother remember?" you said. "Don't play the little sister card. I am only one year older than you and Alexander is our best friend so I-" "Laurens," Alexander started, and both you and your brother turned your head, "it's time. I've already conferred with Burr. He is on Lee's side. Can you believe it?" John started walking toward Alex and grabbed the pistol that he was holding out. You were about to burst out in tears but shoved them back down as he turned back around, "You coming (y/n)?" "I- I- no. I can't." you turned back around and walked towards the tent that you, Alex, John, Laf, and Herc all shared. When you walked in, you flopped down on the small bed that was yours and started to bawl. But, you weren't alone like you thought. "Mon ami, what's wrong?" Lafayette, your best friend asked you. "John he um he-he-the duel and he might die and it's just-well he's my brother and he can't die," you said, barely understandable because of your sobbing. "Slow down (y/n). The duel is now?" He asked. You nodded and he said, "I forgot about that. (insert french here). Do you want me to stay with you?" You nodded again and he walked over to you and wrapped you in a hug. For a moment the world seemed to stop. Nothing bad could happen to you or John because you were with Laf, your best friend. He was so caring and loving and kind and damn was he good looking Wait, what? You were supposed to be thinking about John and Charles, not someone you had a crush on. I don't have a crush on Lafayette, you thought, no we are just friends. Maybe I do though. I don't know. It's just that- You were cut off by the noise of a gun shot. You sunk to the ground and started crying again. Your heart was racing so fast. You were frozen in place. You couldn't breathe. Great. A panic attack, and John was usually the one who helped you with these. It seemed as Laf immediately knew what was happening. "(y/n), (y/n), look at me. Breathe. Just focus on breathing," he said. He could see the fear in your eyes. You slowly started to regain your breath. "Just like that, ma cheri, I'm with you. I'll always be with you." "I'm sorry for that. I get so caught up in the moment and then go and embarrass myself by crying and breaking down," you said Lafayette cocked an eyebrow and then started to ramble, "Une attaque de panique n'est pas stupide, vous ne pouvez pas le contrôler. Ne soyez pas embarrassé par quelque chose comme ça avec moi. Comme je viens de dire, je serai toujours avec vous. Je t'aime (y/n)." (Translation : A panic attack is not dumb, you cannot control it. Do not be embarrassed by something like that with me. Like I just said, I will always be with you. I love you.) You laughed and said, "English please, Laf." He just blinked at you, as if he forgot how to speak. Next thing you knew, his lips were on yours. You melted into the kiss for what seemed like eternity, and it was a good kiss too. No wonder they call it a french kiss. You pulled apart and he said, "I said I think am in love you." "You know what Laf? I think I am falling in love with you too." Someone coughed from the corner and you looked over to see John and Alexander smirking. "John!" You say. "Yes, Mrs. Lafayette?" he responds with a giant grin on his face. "Ah whatever, John, come here!" you walked towards each other and were hugging when Hercules walked in the tent. "Uh (y/n)?" He said and you pulled away from John and went back over by Laf. "Yes?" "Make sure I get an invitation to the wedding," Herc said. "Qu'est-ce que je vais faire avec mes amis?" Lafayette said. (Translation : what am I going to do with my friends?) — a/n : again give me feedback and requests!! btw guys i'm lexi. but i hope you liked it!! :)

#lafayette x reader #hamilton