#i love that man i just wanted to explore how the insecurities we see him have in the show would look post magic reveal | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taehyuncult · 3 months

Text

leehan + fingering

a/n: his hands are pretty. that’s it. that’s all i have to say.

warnings: inexperienced!reader, fem!reader, leehan is slightly inexperienced, fingering ofc, making out/bit of spit, dirty talk, bit of a praise kink, some insecurity/worrying, use of the names baby, pretty girl, my girl, and princess (again i went overboard… this is kinda graphic & way too long)

SMUT UNDER THE CUT. MDNI.

when you first started dating, you told leehan upfront that you hadn’t really explored your sexuality. when you brought up intimacy with him, he also shared that he didn’t have ton of experience either, making your heart calm down a bit. him being him, he was so kind and understanding. he never pressured you, never made you feel like you had to have sex at any point. he was willing to wait for your comfort, telling you that he doesn’t mind at all to be patient and that the ball is in your court. he wanted you to initiate things, so that he knew it was what you really wanted. that whole conversation was basically just him showing off how much of a green flag man he is, and again, you felt that same sense of relief.

to this day, you still haven’t really done anything with him besides making out. you wanted him, of course you did. your heart yearned for him, you wanted to make him feel good. you wanted to see what he looks like when he’s overcome with pleasure. you wanted to hear the sounds he makes caused by your body, your hands, your mouth. your nerves just got in the way of things, until today.

you were riled up all day, not knowing how to handle yourself. you kept thinking about what it would feel like to finally have leehan inside you; the sounds, the sensations, the love that would be shared. you two spent the day together and it seemed like everything he did somehow turned you on. you especially felt like his hands were making you go crazy. your boyfriend had the prettiest hands ever. you wondered what it would feel like to have them inside you, sliding in and out while he watches you, hopefully praising you. god, you knew it would feel so good to get praised by him. have him tell you how pretty you look when you fall apart-

“baby, are you doing okay? you seem like you’ve been out of it?” he asked you as you two sat on the couch together. you completely zoned out while thinking about him. “yeah- i’m fine, just a little bit stressed i think?” you responded, to which he pouted slightly while thinking for a moment. his eyes lit up as if something clicked and he looked at you with a sweet smile before saying, “how about we go on a night drive? we can talk and you can tell me everything that’s on your mind?” you nodded in agreement, but were freaking out on the inside. the thought of being in such a closed space with him made your heart rate go up.

you drove around a bit, before finding a nice parking lot that was pretty much empty. you put the car in park, while keeping it on so you could have some chill music softly playing in the background. you sat there in silence for a moment, before he broke it by asking “wanna get in the back?” you nodded as you both climbed in the back, but you made sure you were sitting as far from him as possible.

“what’s wrong? did i do something?” he asked you as he noticed immediately the distance you put between the two of you. he never misses anything. “no! i promise it’s not you- i’m just stressed.” he looked at you for a bit, noticing how you refused to make eye contact with him, before asking “but why are you so stressed?” you took a big deep breath in, feeling as though you should just be honest about the fact that your body craved him. fuck it, might as well spit it out before he starts to worry that he did something wrong.

“it’s just embarrassing- but… i haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day.” you admitted as your cheeks started heating up. he smiled at you, “but i’m right here? why would you be thinking about me?” he asked in sincerity. you couldn’t believe he didn’t get the hint at first, maybe he just thought you were so innocent that sex wasn’t really on your mind or something. you sighed in defeat, “leehan, i can’t stop thinking about your hands. i’m curious, i guess? i mean if it’s okay-“ he interrupted you, knowing you were about to go on a tangent, “what? that’s not embarrassing at all. it’s natural to want your lover.” he said in a gentle, but deep voice. god, even his voice was enough to make your pussy leak. “can we… maybe do something?” you asked as you hid behind your hands, feeling your face get even warmer. he scooted over to get closer to you. he moved your hands away so he could see you, and he had a soft smile on his lips as he asked “yes. are you sure, though?” you nodded enthusiastically, feeling like your body was on fire with how much you needed him.

“just relax for me, pretty girl.” he whispered as he got even closer to you, kissing your forehead, closing the space between you two. his soft, full lips melted into yours as he kissed you with such passionate. just the feeling of his lips on yours was enough to have your head spinning and your insides doing somersaults. his tongue made its way into your mouth, playing with your own. his hand pushed back a few strands of your hair behind your ear, then started caressing your cheek. you broke the kiss, both of you out of breath, before you whispered “more” to him. you attacked his own lips with yours; this kiss was much messier and full of desperation. you wrapped your arms around his body, pulling him close to you. he broke the kiss, a bit of saliva still connecting the two of you. “gonna take such good care of you.” he said as he gave you another soft kiss then started kissing your neck, nipping at your soft skin, making you moan out. “leehan, please, i need you” you whined as you felt like if he didn’t touch you, you might combust.

“so needy. what am i gonna do with you?” he laughed lightly as he pulled back to look at you. “you’re so beautiful… can i take care of you?” he asked as he gestured to your bottoms. you quickly nodded your head and even started to take off your bottoms for him, making him chuckle at how eager you were. he gently moved your hands, wanting to do it for you, and he took them off so you were only in your panties. he took a deep breath in as he was able to see the big wet patch. “so wet already, you must have been aching for me, huh?” he questioned, and once again you nodded with a “mhmm” as a response. he brought his hand to your clothed cunt, his index finger just barely traced the wet spot, making you flinch. he barely touched you and your body was already so sensitive. the way you flinched made your body start to heat up, getting embarrassed at how needy you must seem. “s-sorry about that…” you apologized with your head down. he immediately picked your chin up, so you were looking directly at him. “you’re okay, princess, gonna make you feel so good.” he said as he looked at you with a sudden look of concentration. “can i take your panties off?” he asked as he started circling the large wet spot again, and smirked as you immediately let out a breathless “yes.”

he practically ripped your panties off your body, staring at your now fully exposed pussy. he went in for another kiss, then asked “can i touch you?” “i think i’ll die if you don’t” you admitted to him, causing him to laugh. he took his index and middle fingers into his mouth, making sure to coat them well before taking them out. you felt yourself clench around nothing as you watched him do probably the hottest thing you have ever seen someone do, and he must have noticed as he asked you “like what you see?” he raised his eyebrow. you were going to answer before he took his two fingers, gliding them between your folds.

you were so sensitive, you let out a moan as this sensation was completely new to you. just the feeling of his fingers sliding between your soaking folds felt like electricity was coursing through your body. he focused on only using his middle finger, swirling it along your clit. you felt butterflies in your stomach and felt a fire in your tummy as you whined for him to just enter you already. he smirked, making his way down to your entrance, slowly pushing into the opening. he took his time, not pumping his fingers just yet, he wanted you to really feel it. he wanted you to be comfortable. shortly after, he slowly started moving in and out.

you whimpered at the feeling as this was something you had never experienced before, you didn’t want to be too much so you were trying so hard to contain yourself. “you’re so pretty like this, trying so hard to keep it together. i can tell, you know?” he said as he continued easing his middle finger in and out of your soaking cunt. “f-feels good, but is embarrassing” you said, which just motivated him to start going faster. “it’s not, i want you to let go and give me everything.” he said as he started curling his finger up, gently hitting that one extra sensitive spot in your body. you threw your head back, the feeling becoming too much, and gave into his wishes. “f-fuck leehan.” you moaned out. “that’s it, let me hear those pretty moans.” he encouraged you as he kept fucking you with his finger. “want me to add another?” he asked as he thought he could make you feel even better. “mhmm,” you whimpered out as he added a second finger. his pace slowed, making sure you experienced not a single ounce of discomfort, until you grabbed onto his wrist. “don’t- um… don’t go slow…” you told him, getting a look of surprise from him in response, which quickly turned into a grin.

he started picking up the pace, sliding his fingers in and out quickly, but not too quickly. you couldn’t hold back your moans, it was all too much. a wet sound started to fill the entire car and you covered your face with your hands again out of embarrassment. “what’s wrong?” he asked and you just whined out, “sounds so embarrassing.” “i promise, it’s not, here, feel.” he assured you by taking one of your hands and putting it on his hard cock. “it’s making me so hard, seeing my girl like this.” he said as he continued focusing on you, you softly squeezed his cock in his pants, causing him to pause for a split second. he took a sharp breath in and went back to you, this caused you to become curious. you started pawing at his pants, noticing a similar wet spot like the one you had just moments ago. he curled his fingers upwards, hitting that spot again to distract you from his cock. he wanted you to cum before all else and he was more than determined to make that happen.

you clawed at his bicep, clinging onto it as you fell victim to his hand. you felt a weird tingling sensation in your belly, you’ve felt it before when you touch yourself. however, it felt different this time, as if it were 10x more intense. “l-leehan-fuck!” you cried out as his thumb started rubbing at your clit. “close? is my pretty girl going to cum for me?” he said as he continued fucking you with his fingers. “yes! gonna cum so hard for you.” you told him, not even phased anymore as those words left your mouth. “yeah, princess? is your cute little pussy gonna gush for me?” you felt that same electric feeling like your nerves were slowly being set alight one by one. “yes! yes! just keep going, please” you rambled on as you were right there on the edge. he came close to your ear, whispering to you in that heavenly deep voice of his, “i’m so proud of you, my good girl.” that was it, that statement alone caused you to fall apart immediately. your orgasm hitting you so hard you could barely breath. you cried out his name, your back arching as he rode you through the euphoria.

“that’s it, feels good right?” he smiled at you as he watched you come down from the most intense high you’ve ever experienced. you could only nod at him, feeling your eyes become heavy. he slowly took his fingers out, making sure to lick up all your essence with not a drop left behind. the sight caused a shiver to run up your spine. he grabbed your discarded clothes, dressing you with care. “you feel okay?” he said as he kissed your forehead. “do i feel okay? i feel like so good i can’t think right now, that was insane.” you admitted and he went in to kiss you. his lips against yours were much softer as if he was trying to tell you just how much he loved you through it.

once your brain cleared up, you realized he was probably still hard. “can i touch you?” you asked with a pout. “don’t worry about it tonight, baby, we have all the time in the world for that.” he said as he grabbed you in for a hug. “i love you. thank you for letting me make you feel good and trusting me.” he said as he wrapped a secure arm around your body. you felt your heart explode in your chest at his sweet words. “i-i love you too, you’re so special to me.” he smiled at your words, and squeezed you tighter. “so let’s talk about that praise kink of yours-“ “my WHAT?”

you spent the rest of your night in each other’s arms. you talked about anything and everything. it wasn’t awkward after like you expected it to be, in fact, you felt even closer to him. it was such a sweet, but extremely sexy, experience and you were happy you got to have it with him. you went to bed that night in his arms, feeling extra loved and extra satisfied.

#kisa’s hard thoughts #admin.kisa <3 #boynextdoor hard thoughts #boynextdoor hard hours #boynextdoor smut #bnd hard hours #bnd hard thoughts #bnd smut #leehan smut #leehan hard hours #leehan smut fanfic #bnd leehan smut #kim donghyun smut #kpop smut #leehan x reader #leehan fanfic #boynextdoor x reader #bnd x reader

430 notes · View notes

jymwahuwu · 23 days

Note

Jing Yuan who’s always trying to get y/n pregnant :( Ever since he first saw y/n at the Xianzhou Luofu as a traveler passing by since we loved to roam around the galaxy and explore new places and planets, loving the thrill of it more than anything else he got lovesick almost immediately!

He loves to see someone so young and beautiful doing such scary and dangerous thing like traveling alone so as a high ranked general he had to make sure y/n is safe on his territory so he made sure she is at safe and protected place that he was close by so he could be close to her :D

As you loved to be for couple of weeks at the place, you really did love to go out with Jing Yuan on walks and not even a week later at his chambers to play some chess or card games as Mimi fell in love with you almost immediately with you, almost not letting you leave but Jiung Yuan had go let you go for time being :(

Even though he knows he could be your ancestor with how old he is, he quite frankly doesn’t care about it at all. He’s a charismatic man so after 3 weeks of direct and indirect flirting and even a clear romantic dates, you were so shy still so he had to slide a bit of aphrodisiac in your drink the night he knew you would announce you will go in a week to another planet, how did he know? Well…he can just said that you look so cute asleep in your room, as he watched you through cameras he put in your room and those times he kissed you on your lips when he broke in your room, “checking on you” in dead of night as his sinful lips kiss yours for “good night”

He forgot how inexperienced girls are so fun to ruin and corrupt, make them dump :( The way he kissed you sinfully, take (ripped) your clothes off as he pulled you into bed with him… The way your body was so responsive to his touch, losing a count of how much you finished as he put you in a meanest mating press, splitting you hole so deliciously as he creampied you thought entire night, making you go limp for a week straight after :(

At end, there was no doubt when a day you planned to leave after a month, you cried in his arms as two bold lines on pregnancy test were signaling something you didn’t want or planned now, you just thought that you were to young, to childish and free for children, especially when you are not in a relationship with him, it was just a drunk night that was supposed to pass and not have any consequences. He kissed your insecures away as he got to corrupt you till end-

i mean, y/ns pregnancy look divine when your bump showed so quickly, i guess your 6 babies are gonna look so magnificent when they are will look like their daddy ;)

(hiii!!, i had this thought for so long and i didn’t know if you would write for this, so feel free to ignore this :3 haha have a lovely day!)

cw: yandere, non-con, forced pregnancy, forced breeding, aphrodisiac

Who can predict it? You planned your itinerary. Xianzhou Luofu was originally just part of your trip. In the end, you got married there, got pregnant, and settled down…

Jing Yuan knows that changing your mind in such a short period of time is a daunting challenge...especially when you have booked hotels and spaceship tickets to other planets. He tried, really hard. Flirting, dating, but how shy you are >_<

You are leaving. This is not a good sign.

And why - who are you, talented anon, why did you mention "meanest mating press" - I have to search for hentai of mating press again…😣

Whenever, the thought of jing yuan + forced mating press makes me lose my mind.

Those muscles of his are pressing you down, and you are helpless…weak, and your legs are pulled up to the extreme and pressed against your chest. His hands are irresistible. He can wield weapons and has participated in numerous battles. And you are at his mercy. His size hits your pelvic bone, and his round and thick cock reaches the deepest point, pressing against the opening of your uterus. The chaotic sound of water. Your buttocks were spread as wide as possible in humiliation, and with each thrust, the flesh on your thighs swayed slightly. A rough slapping sound. You looked at Jing Yuan with tears streaming down your face. Those amber eyes. Gazing affectionately, as if staring at the most precious thing for him for hundreds of years. His tongue tangled with yours. The slapping sound didn't stop all night long. The seed he has stored for a long time has not been released, and now it is poured into your body. And you can't even move your legs. Just be bred. Sore, sore, but the orgasm was still overwhelming.

#yandere hsr #yandere honkai star rail #yandere jing yuan #yandere hsr x reader #yandere jing yuan x reader #honkai x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you

366 notes · View notes

wwinterwitch · 1 year

Text

new vows – din djarin x gn!reader

summary: the first time din ever removed his helmet in front of you

pairing: din djarin x gn!reader (no pronouns used)

word count: 2.5k

warnings and tags: fluff and angst + good ending, insecure!din, established relationship, kissing, the helmet's removed, doesn't follow the plot of the show at all (it's just din, reader and grogu being a happy family)

author's note: oof i hate how this turned out but my best friend read it and told me to post it so here we are, i hope it doesn't suck as much as i think it does

a reblog and/or comment on my posts really help me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

navigation | pedro's characters masterlist | star wars masterlist

Din was observing you and Grogu from the entrance of the Razor Crest, arms crossed across his chest as he leaned against one of the walls of the ship. He smiles to himself when he hears the child giggling after you put a flower at the top of his little head, immediately reaching out with some difficulty to grab a flower from the ground and offering it to you.

"Thank you, Grogu. It's very pretty!" you say to the baby, who looked absolutely thrilled to realize you liked his gift.

The kid stands from the ground, lifting both of his arms as a sign that he wants to be carried. Already familiar with the gesture, you quickly lift him up from the ground before laying on your back in the middle of the landscape filled with lilac and light pink flowers. The baby giggles again, holding onto you as you both lay there.

Din's smile fades just enough shortly after that when the inevitable thought pops in his head again. That annoying and sudden thought that always makes an appearance during the day.

At first he didn't mind, finding ways to always push it away before it got to him. However, it's been more and more frequent these past couple of days and it's becoming a bad habit he seems unable to control at this point, and it's starting to really annoy him.

His mind is filled with all these doubts and insecurities. Not only because of the content of what he's thinking, but because it's completely impossible to push it away now. Almost like an avalanche, it falls down the mountain at a rapid, devastating speed and it only seems to get bigger as minutes pass. It destroys everything in its way. In this case, the prime and only victim is Din.

Perhaps the worst part is that it always ruins what should be pleasant moments. If Grogu is looking up at him from the ground begging to be carried, the thought is there. Whenever you wrap your arms around him or grab his hand when the two of you are exploring yet a new planet, it's there. Even when he's trying to sleep right next to you, hearing the faint sounds of the baby already asleep, you can bet that thought will be there to torture him.

Because all of those little moments he shares with his partner and son remind him of the fact that neither of them even know who he is. Sure, they know how he is, but not who.

Every touch is not really a touch, it's just skin brushing against a uniform. Every exchange has a helmet hiding his features. They can hear him laugh, but they don't see his eyes squinting just enough and the smile that adorns his face. They can hear him remind them of his never-ending love for them, but they don't get to look into his eyes as he says it.

And it hurts because his mind has tricked him to believe none of those moments are real. Because they've never seen the man that claims to care for them so much, none of it is genuine. It's just touching a uniform and hearing empty words coming from a helmet. It almost makes him feel like a droid rather than a human, leaving him longing for that real connection.

He knows he probably shouldn't, but he craves that actual contact, which is something he never felt before you two showed up in his life.

Being a Mandalorian and living by their code was easy. He never even considered breaking his vow because nothing and no one was ever worth it. What could possibly be more important than this? That's what he would always ask himself and he wasn't able to come up with an answer– until you and Grogu showed up.

Now that you two are here, it's obvious to him that his priorities have changed. He wants to commit to an entirely new code. To prove his undying fidelity to his family and make a vow to the two of you.

But that brings another set of insecurities that make this entire situation a lot more difficult for him. As much as he needs to truly feel connected to you, he's terrified of what that connection means. It's obvious that in order to obtain that, he needs to take off his uniform. Most precisely, his helmet– which is something he has never done in front of anyone. Ever.

So that's when his mind is yet again filled with negative thoughts. What if you don't like what's under the helmet? What if you already have a picture of him in your head and he disappoints you because he looks nothing like it? What if you suddenly don't love him anymore because he's not what you expected at all? And what if Grogu rejects him too? He couldn't deal with either of you not liking what has been hiding underneath all the Beskar.

That's the complicated mess that's been haunting him for a few weeks. That inner struggle he has tried to keep hidden from the two of you. Should the helmet stay on despite being an obstacle to reach the depths of connection he needs to have with his family, or should he remove it and risk rejection? Is it better to settle or search for more?

He feels pathetic. The supposedly fearless bounty hunter is terrified of even thinking about taking a risk. Going on adventures used to be a lifestyle. Now, the mere idea of it is enough to fill his mind with self-doubt, making it almost impossible for him to make a decision.

He thought about it later that day when the three of you were already inside the Razor Crest and getting ready to go to bed, really considering his options and trying to create different outcomes to this hypothetical conversation that kept playing inside his head.

You were telling Grogu a bedtime story when Din joined the two of you. He sat on the bed and listened to you speak as he watched the baby, who was struggling to keep his eyes open at that point, holding onto the little blanket covering his body.

By the time the story was over, Grogu was already completely asleep. You carefully brushed his face with your pointer finger in an affectionate manner, smiling down at him before focusing on Din.

"Ready to go to bed?" you asked.

"You'll tell me a bedtime story too?"

The comment made you laugh. "I think you're a little old for bedtime stories."

"Ouch. I'm not old."

"I said a little old," you quickly correct, putting both of your hands on his shoulders. He quickly lifted a hand that was resting on your hip a few seconds later. "Not the same as just old."

You smile down at him as he gently caresses you from your hip all the way down your thigh before his gloved fingers trails back up. Your smile inevitably takes him to the dark corners of his mind again because he knows you won't be able to see him smiling back at you.

His next words came out very impulsively. "Can we talk?"

Evidently, you were a little concerned after hearing that given the tone he used. "Is there something wrong?"

"I've just been thinking a lot lately...there's something that's been bothering me and it won't leave my head."

"Okay..." you said, trying to be receptive to what he was saying but still having no idea of what's going on.

"Neither of you know what I look like," he decides to simply confess. Why would he try to over explain something that is actually quite easy to say? "And I've never...you know, actually touched you," he adds, his helmet titling towards his hand still resting on your hip, hinting at the glove covering it.

"I mean, yes...but that's because you're a Mandalorian. It's what your people do, right?"

Din nods after your words. "It's part of our code, but...I don't know. It's been bothering me because lately this entire uniform feels like an obstacle. I still feel like it's a part of me but...it also stands in between us."

"I've told you how I feel about the suit," you quickly say in a soft, reassuring voice. "I don't mind it one bit."

"I know, I know. This isn't because of something you did or said," Din explains. "I guess my priorities have changed."

"You mean...?"

"I mean, I care more about connecting with you than with my traditions. I've started to question things I never took a second to consider before you and Grogu showed up. I want to be able to touch you– really touch you. And I want to look at you and talk to you. Not through a visor and a modulator," he further explains, feeling like a weight is lifted off his shoulders. "I don't need to be a Mandalorian when I'm with you two. I just need to be Din."

"Oh, darling," you start affectionately, feeling so incredibly in love with the man sitting in front of you. "Whatever it is that you want and need, I'll support you no matter what. Helmet or no helmet, you're still the guy I fell in love with."

"Really?" he asks with evident worry.

"Of course," you immediately reassure him.

"I guess it took me too long to talk about this because...well, I didn't know if you'd like what's underneath the uniform."

"Din," you call in a very serious voice, hoping that'll hint just how much you mean your next words. "I love you so much. I love you because you're the kindest man I've ever met. You're loyal, passionate, brave...and you care so much about me and Grogu. I could stay here and mention a trillion things about you that make me fall in love with you every single day. You're the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and nothing in this world is ever going to change what I feel."

He was quiet for what felt like forever, simply staring up at you while you held the helmet in between your hands so you could stare directly at his visor where his eyes should be.

"You can't see it but I'm smiling, by the way. This is a good silence," he offers, which immediately makes you laugh.

"Is it okay if I take it off and see that smile for myself?"

He hesitated before answering. "Are you sure you won't change your mind?"

"I promise I won't change my mind."

There was another pause before he finally answered. "Okay..."

You start to remove his helmet in a gentle, slow manner. If he wanted to stop you, he could at any second. You really didn't want to rush it because you still wanted to give him a chance to back down if he wanted to.

The fact that he wears the helmet all day in front of you has never been an issue. You fell in love with the person he is, whatever he looks like couldn't possibly matter any less to you. That love is not going anywhere. Ever.

It looks like Din is confident in his decision because he doesn't stop you at any point. He continues to keep one of his hands attached to your hip and the other rests on his lap for a few seconds until he uses it to help you completely remove his helmet.

Still holding it with both of your hands, you look down to admire his face. You can tell by his expression that he's terrified as he stares back at you, impatient for any hint of rejection. He was still expecting to see the disappointment all across your features before you take a step back from him and reveal he's nothing like what you expected.

But that disappointment never appeared. Instead, he's relieved to see the smile forming on your face before you leave the helmet next to him on the bed, immediately reaching out to grab his face.

Din practically melts under your touch, closing his eyes and focusing on just how good it feels to have your skin touching him for the very first time. The way your soft fingers trace his cheeks before they move down to his jaw...it feels like absolute heaven.

And you take your time with that. Your digits explote his features as if contemplating them wasn't enough. You needed to touch every inch of his face in order to truly appreciate what's in front of you.

The most beautiful sight ever. The man you love so much, looking even more handsome than you could've ever predicted. From his soft brown eyes to the hint of a beard, he's so perfect you can't believe you're seriously this lucky.

"So?" he dares to ask. Hearing his voice without the modulator for the very first time almost made you feel goosebumps all over your body. How is this man so pretty?

You could've just said that. You could've stood there and told him over and over how pretty he is, but it didn't feel like it was enough. No words would ever begin to explain the admiration you have for this man, even before you knew what he looked like.

After feeling his skin for the very first time, you could only crave more. It was probably that inefficiency of words and the need for more contact that made you lean down and kiss him for the very first time.

He kissed you back instantly, the grip on your hip tightening just enough as he completely gave in to you.

It was evident you were his first kiss, but that detail couldn't be any more insignificant right now. His lack of experience didn't bother you. All you could think about is how lucky and happy you are to have him as your partner.

The kiss lasted for a few more seconds before you pulled away, failing to hide your smile when you saw his face. It was evident he was already missing the way your lips feel against his.

You stare at him again for a bit, caressing his flushed cheeks, before you finally decide to speak. "Does that answer your question?" Din was still too lost in his thoughts to reply out loud, so he simply nodded. His reaction after your first kiss made you giggle, and you swore right there that you've never felt happier in your life. "Good. I'd like to kiss you again if that's okay."

Another nod, this time looking more desperate, was all you needed to kiss him again. You got more comfortable as you sat on his lap, knowing you'll be there kissing him for a bit, feeling his arms wrap around your lower back to keep you close as soon as you sat down.

And as he holds you in his arms, he knows he made the right choice, silently vowing to be yours for as long as you allow him to.

#din djarin x gn!reader #din djarin x reader #din djarin fic #din djarin #the mandalorian x gn!reader #the mandalorian x reader #star wars x reader #mandalorian fic #pedro pascal characters

2K notes · View notes

joonberriess · 1 year

Text

⊹₊ ⋆ “i just can’t wait for love to destroy us,”

TAGS — praise kink, soft smut, lazy sex, rough sex, jealousy, POSSESSIVE JK HEHE, lots of dirty talk, breeding kink, creampies, daddy kink, it’s really soft :(

WORD COUNT — 4.2 k

BEFORE…

You never thought you’d find yourself in a position where your first serious relationship was someone twice your age and was old enough to be your father. If you would have told the fifteen year old you that your love interests derived from your daddy issues she would have looked at you like you were insane. You still had a bit of trouble believing your case.

It wasn’t that you regretted getting into a relationship with Jungkook, quite the contrary, he was everything you could ever ask for. Besides, it was a guilty pleasure of yours whenever you thought about the circumstances of your relationship with the latter. The fact that he was older and the relationship taboo made it all more exciting for you.

However the thing that excited you more was Jungkook’s possessive streak and jealousy. Jungkook knew the game given that he had done it himself when he was your age and messing with girls, and one thing he disliked was the amount of boys who were after you. You were a pretty little thing it was obvious you’d have suitors here and there chasing after you.

You paid them no mind like you always did even before Jungkook. Whenever another guy approached, flirted, or even dared to look your way Jungkook sure as hell did not appreciate any of that. The first time it happened Jungkook made sure to fuck you so good the only thing you could think about was him, him, him. The more jealous he was the rougher the sex.

He’d say things like “Can’t have my baby running off with those nasty boys,” everytime he was in one of his moods. You secretly loved how possessive he was over you, making sure to leave dark hickeys on your neck and if he was feeling bolder, he left them down your thighs for the world to see whenever you wore those pretty little skirts.

His words were one-hundred times more filthier when he was fucking you like no tomorrow. His hips would be snapping harshly into yours over and over again, with him pinning you to the bed. Jungkook has his face tucked away in the crook of your neck while he tightens his grip on your hips. A soft low growl leaves him when he suddenly recalls how that stupid guy had the audacity to cat call you and even boldly ask for your number in front of “your old man”.

“Bet he wouldn’t be able to fuck you like this sweetheart,” he rasps in your ear, “you need a man to fuck you, ain’t that right baby?” He hits a particular spot inside of you, causing a tiny whine to escape, “Gonna have to ruin this little pussy so next time you even think about anyone else you remember how good I fucked you.” He teasingly nips at your neck.

Jungkook didn’t talk about it much but it was obvious he was a tad bit insecure over the age-gap with you. You were young, he was older, and without a doubt you still had the world to explore. He didn’t want to be the reason you stopped all of that just for him, sometimes he felt like it was going too fast for you. You thought otherwise.

Hani wondered a lot too about your interests in guys from campus. She asked a lot too. “Sooo are we going to ignore the obvious elephant in the room?” She elbows you with a soft smirk, “I mean I can’t be the only one who saw that back there?”

You hold your books tighter against your chest and side-eye, upon seeing her little shit-eating grin you roll your eyes, “Jesus Hani,” you whisper shaking your head, “it’s nothing, I don’t even know him like that. Stop..!” You smack her arm, watching her laugh loudly, “I’m not interested in him or anyone here for the matter of fact.”

“Really..?” Hani snorts, “So you like no one, you sure about that? Or is there something you’re not telling me? Cause there’s no way I just watched you reject that cutie back there.” She grins, poking your side, “Ooh I get it, you like someone from somewhere else don’t you?”

“Hani!” You giggle, “Stop, I’m not going to tell you who it is..!”

“So there is someone!” She squeals, wrapping her arms around you and happily leading you off to the parking lot, “Awww how cute, do you really like him a lot? Is he super nice and handsome? Do you guys go out on dates??” She rambles off.

You shyly smile at her and nod, “We do Hani, and yes he’s super nice and handsome like you say. I really like him a lot, he makes me happy, you know?” You softly say.

“Damn, and he doesn’t worry at all? You’re quite the catch girl, if I were him I’d be thinking ‘bout you twenty-four seven. The long distance doesn’t make him sad and stuff?” She softly pouts.

You shake your head, “No not really. I talk with him a lot and we hang out sometimes when I’m not busy with work or class. It’s all good if I’m being honest Hani.” You trail off, mind wandering to other things.

“Gonna make sure all those little boys know who the fuck I am sweetheart, hm? Go on and tell daddy who you belong to?”

Heat spreads all over your body as you silently check out, not really paying attention to a word Hani is saying to you. Hani is rambling that’s for sure, but you’re so lost in your obscene thoughts you pray she doesn’t notice you subtly rubbing your thighs together. Did the weather recently get hotter or was it just you..?

“There you go, you look so good taking me like that baby.. Go on, show daddy how much you love my cock.”

“y/n!” Hani yells, “Are you even listening to me?” She pouts.

You snap out of your thoughts and turn to her, “I’m sorry, what were you saying? I kinda spaced out.” You chuckle nervously, embarrassed she caught you in the throes of your daydreams.

“I asked if you wanted to get some lunch? On me,” she smiles gently as she unlocks the car, “sometimes I wonder what goes on in your pretty little head.” She chuckles, slipping into the driver seat.

You blink slowly, still a little dazed but you mumble “ ‘s nothing really.” and then slip into the car. You spend the rest of the car ride thinking about Jungkook..

NOW..

Jungkook hadn’t left you alone after finding out you were pregnant and you were terrified he was going to slip up and Hani would find out. Of course you didn’t mind his clinginess since you had spent a good week to yourself in fear, terrified about how he’d react to the pregnancy and whether or not he would accept it. Right now you felt like you could use the comfort and closeness he had to offer.

“Fuck I haven’t felt like this since I found out about Hani years ago.” Jungkook murmurs one night when you’re both laying in bed together. Hani was out for the weekend since she was traveling down to meet her mom somewhere for a girl’s weekend. “I don’t know how to feel, but I am happy that’s for sure.” He grins softly, rubbing over your tummy.

You timidly smile back at him and nuzzle closer, “I’m a little nervous but I think I’ll feel better once I’m closer to giving birth and stuff.” You softly murmur and play with Jungkook’s necklace.

Jungkook gently settles his hand over your hip and squeezes, “Are you hungry baby? I don’t remember much about pregnancy and stuff but how’s the morning sickness? Cravings?” He smoothly rubs his hand over you with a lovestruck expression on his handsome face.

You shrug, “The morning sickness is dying down, it isn’t as bad as before.. And well I don’t know about my cravings, I wanna eat a lot of weird things but they’re embarrassing to talk about.” You quietly huff, angrily pouting as you avoid his gaze.

Jungkook snorts softly, “Weird? There’s no such thing as weird baby, tell me one of your cravings. Let me hear how “weird” it is.”

“I like to eat pickles dipped in strawberry yogurt. Sometimes I even go to those convenience stores and buy pizza rolls to eat with peanut butter, oh and I really love to eat the chicken Hani brings dipped in honey!” You smile innocently, “ ‘s the baby to be honest, they’re the ones making me eat all this weird stuff.”

Jungkook’s shoulders begin to shake and you pout, “You just told me there’s no such thing as weird, why are you laughing?” You huff, “Hey..! Stop laughing at me.” You whine.

“I’m sorry baby but you’re so fucking cute, lookin’ so proud of yourself..” He chuckles, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “I can picture it now, pickles and peanut butter covered nuggets.”

Your eyes widen, “I didn’t think of it like that, wow… so cool..” You trail off, mouth watering already as Jungkook laughs in the background.

Hani doesn’t come back until the end of the weekend, and you certainly took advantage of it. Jungkook and you fucked like rabbits all over the house, being as loud as you wanted given that there was no one around. It felt nice not having to stay quiet or on alert during sex.

The night Hani returned she had stated she was too tired to even shower, opting to say goodnight to you and Jungkook as she went upstairs to her room. You were planning on going to your own room to sleep in but Jungkook’s sultry gaze said another thing. You ended up following him to his room as quietly as possible, hoping Hani stayed knocked out for the rest of the night.

One thing led to another and you two had a quickie before bed. You went to bed sleeping like a baby, happily satisfied after being fucked thoroughly. Jungkook slept with an arm around your waist, faced tucked away in your neck as he breathed your strawberry scent in. You had gone to bed in one of his shirts with only your panties underneath.

All was peaceful until about two am when your bleary eyes opened after feeling Jungkook’s hand creep up the shirt to gently massage your sore tit in his big hand. Jungkook was half-awake, grumbling quietly as he tried to pull you in closer. At first you thought he was sleep groping you but then you felt his hard throbbing cock pressed up against your thigh through his boxers.

“.. Jungkook?” You murmur, turning on your side to face him as you cup his cheek.

He nuzzles into your hand and hums, “Yeah..?”

You gently peck his lips three times, each little kiss lasting longer than the last one, “Can feel you.” You softly say.

He lazily rolls his hips against yours and slithers his hand out from under the shirt, instead choosing to grip your hip. “Can you?” He has a coy sleepy smile, “Maybe we should do something about it?” His voice is husky and rough from sleep, his eyes flutter open and he looks at you with want and lust.

You eagerly press against him, tossing your leg over his hip and trying to grind yourself against his cock. “Please,” you bite your lip, all drowsiness slowly leaving your body.

Jungkook leans over to bring you into a slow but deep kiss, “I got you baby, let daddy do all the work.” He says and begins tugging your panties down your thighs.

You tuck your face in the crook of his neck and suck on the soft patch of skin while he blindly reaches over for the lube that sits on the nightstand. You hear the sound of the cap opening and Jungkook lathering some lube between his fingertips. Your breath hitches in excitement, hooking your thigh over his hip firmly to make sure he has enough space to fit his fingers, and then his cock in.

Jungkook doesn’t bother with slipping his sweatpants all the way down, cock slapping against his stomach as it springs out of its confinement. He hisses low and strokes over his throbbing cock, making sure to coat it in the lube before he presses the tip between your soft folds.

“Gonna fuck you pretty girl.” He whispers.

Your lips part as a breathy moan escapes, hips twitching as his cock fills your cunt to the brim. There’s an audible squelch in the background and then a wet slap following in suit when he bottoms out. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath.

He draws another moan from you when he ruts against you slowly, cock pressing in deep. Jungkook groans softly, hand tightening around your hip in effort to hold himself back from fucking into you roughly. He starts up at a slower and lazier pace, thoroughly enjoying the feeling of your soft pussy wrapped around his cock.

You wrap a hand around the back of his neck, playing with his hair as he gently fucks into you. Soft little moans leave you here and there, the squelching gets louder as your pussy drools over his cock. Pleasure bubbles up in your tummy, adding to the heat you feel deep inside. Jungkook’s hitting every spot that leaves you quivering underneath him.

“So good for me,” he moans out, “can feel you gripping me so good baby.” He pants hotly against your lips.

You let out a long moan and your eyes fluttered shut as your pussy clamped down on his cock. His hips stuttered in their movements, a gasp escaping him while he weakly snapped his hips upwards. You reached down to rub fast small circles onto your clit, whining and moaning breathlessly because your orgasm is rapidly building up, you’re definitely going to be sleeping well after this.

“Cum for me baby, make a mess on daddy’s cock.” He rasps out, hips kicking forward faster and faster.

There’s audible wet slaps, the bed creaks lightly from the force and Jungkook’s groaning becomes louder. You manage to muffle your cry as you bury your face away in his neck, gripping him tightly and letting go. Your cunt gushes around his cock, making a mess alongside the lube he had already lathered on his cock. The sound is fucking filthy and your lower half is soaked from your slick.

He mutters curses under his breath, hips slamming forward until he stills, roughly pressing up against you and making sure his cock is buried deep while he cums. “Fuckkkk,” he whispers out contentedly. Cleanup is a fairly quiet ordeal and you end up going back to sleep in his arms.

The next morning after Jungkook leaves for work, you make your way downstairs with a tired sigh. You had made sure to wear your own pajamas because Hani was home for the day since she had no classes nor work. Hani was in the kitchen cooking something, humming under her breath as she sang some new song you heard on the radio.

“Oh, hey,” she smiles brightly at you, “just in time I made us some breakfast,” she showed you the pan full of hot food, “did you sleep well?”

You nod slowly, “I woke up like once because I had to puke but it wasn’t too bad, how about you?” You take a seat on the stool by the kitchen island, licking your lips hungrily as she serves you a portion of what she had made.

“Could have been better, I heard dad last night. I didn’t think he had it in him still but I stand corrected.” She laughs, shaking her head, “Like Jesus did he sleep with a vampire? His neck was all bruised up this morning!”

Your blood runs cold, you stare at the food trying not to show your obvious guilt and nervousness. Hani luckily turns her back to you as she opens the fridge in search of some juice, “That’s good though, dad rarely goes out these days so I’m sure last night was like something magical for him.” She snorts.

“Yeah,” you trail off, “magical.”

Growing up in a somewhat conservative home altered your mind as an adult, not by a lot but some things stuck with you. It primarily had to do with the fact that you were so desperate for your parents’ approval you were willing to change everything about yourself to fit their standards. It wasn’t until Hani broke you out of the cycle that you started thinking more about what you liked and wanted to try.

Although you were still a tad bit shy, you were more eager to try new things. That’s how you found yourself at a lingerie store, nervously clutching your bag around your body as you slowly stepped in. The store obviously had its sections to choose from, but this was all too new for you. It was quite overwhelming.

You timidly looked around and eyed the different displays showing off the raunchy designs, some downright scandalous and others simple and dainty. Your mind was racing and it was too much to take in and you began thinking it was a bad idea after all. As you turned to walk back out, a worker called out to you.

“Are you finding everything alright Miss?” She smiles warmly.

“Oh, uh, yeah I’m fine,” you nervously squeak out, “just browsing is all..”

“Are you looking for anything in particular? Need a bra size check?” She holds up her measuring tape.

You chew on your bottom lip and look around again, “I actually came to get something to surprise my boyfriend with.” You admit softly, “It’s my first time so I don’t really know what is.. Good?”

She chuckles softly, “Well we have a lot of new sets and designs that just came in about a week ago, can I show you? Besides, it’s not about what’s “good” it’s about what you like.” She ends up showing you a whole collection of pretty and dainty lingerie sets, not too raunchy but not too innocent either.

In the end you go with a pastel baby pink set which is really just a bra, cheeky panties, and a garter set. You buy the stockings to go along with it and take your purchase with you home. You’re excited, practically bouncing in happiness as you reach home and start to get ready.

You take your time showering and then preparing afterwards, lathering yourself in lotions and oils. At first you kind of don’t know how to put the garter belt on and then it turns into you struggling with the stockings. When you finally finish the look you’re left sitting in your bed tired, “Damn, this is harder than I imagined.” You sighed.

You stand up after a couple of minutes and head over to your mirror, gasping quietly at the sight of you. The panties cup your ass perfectly, both cheeks sitting so pretty and your tits cupped in the silk bra. Something about the garter belt makes you flush in excitement and arousal. You must admit that you look fucking hot in the lingerie set.

“I wonder if he’s on his way..” You mumble, going to check your phone for any new messages from Jungkook.

jungkookkk<3 : on my way, i stopped by to pick up some lunch for us.

You bite your lip and send him a quick text saying you’d be in his room waiting for him then. It doesn’t take long for him to come, you’re laying in his bed trying to calm your nerves and excitement. “Baby I’m home!” You hear him toss his keys into the bowl and shuffle around in the foyer and then kitchen.

“Up here,” you call back, leaning back on your elbows and raising your leg in the direction of the door as you pretend to admire your stocking clad thighs.

Jungkook appears a few minutes later, he’s talking about something that he saw on his way over when he suddenly stops in his tracks. His eyes widen and jaw goes slack, standing there as he admires your lingerie clad form. “Jesus…” he whispers, bag falling from his hand, “When did you get this?”

You smile softly, “Today.. I wanted to surprise you,” you teasingly spread your legs, “do you like it daddy?” You say in an innocent tone, a coy smile on your lips.

He loosens his tie and eyes you up and down, “Like it? Baby I fucking love it.” He slams the door shut and locks it behind him as he stalks forward like a predator, “You’re so fucking sexy, sitting there like you did nothing wrong. You could make a grown ass man cry sweetheart,” he climbs over you, gently pushing you back on to the bed, “Aren’t I the luckiest fucking bastard.” He smirks.

You bite your lip and look up at him, “Aren’t you gonna show me how much you love it daddy?” You wrap an arm around his neck, “I got all dolled up for you.”

Jungkook groans at that, “All for me baby?” When you nod in response he leans down to leave a flutter of kisses up your chest and neck, “Fuck you’re driving me crazy, just the thought of any other motherfucker seeing you like this pisses me off.” He growls, “No one else can have you isn’t that right baby? Who does this pussy belong to?”

You eagerly bring him down for a kiss, “You daddy,” you softly whisper against his lips, “ ‘s why I’m pregnant, cause you bred me well.”

Jungkook moans at that, his hands stop to hover over your tummy as he gently presses down and rubs it slowly, “Fuck,” he whispers, “my pretty little mama,” A quiet mewl leaves your lips when he calls you that and he chuckles, “oh you like that don’t you?” When you nod, he decides to take pity on you, “I’m gonna give you what you need baby,”

And that he does..

Jungkook takes his sweet time, eating you like you’re his last meal on this earth. He has you begging and sobbing for more because of how overstimulating it is as he fucks his tongue in and out of you. Jungkook fingers you gently, stroking over your g-spot over and over again until you’re squirting all over him.

When he deems you wet enough (as if he didn’t fingerfuck you into oblivion) he fucks you. You babble against his lips about how you can take him, how you want him to fuck you harder and not hold back. Jungkook hesitates but when you begin to grind on him desperately he loses all sense of control he thought he had.

Jungkook fucks into you harder, hips slamming into yours over and over again. The sound of his balls slapping against your ass and the squelching of your pussy ring through both ears. You lie there helplessly taking it as moans and whimpers flow out. You can barely feel your thighs, your poor clit is trapped between you and him, rubbing up against his pelvis sorely.

“Fuck,” Jungkook pants from the effort, hips rolling quickly and roughly, nearly sending you up the bed and towards the headboard. “So fucking sloppy for me.” He grits his teeth.

His cock throbs weakly inside of you as he goes on and on about how sexy you look for him in the lingerie set, “So glad I was the one to put a baby in you,” he slurs out, “you’re gonna look so fucking beautiful full of our child. Everyone’s gonna know I bred you so well,” he leans down to mouth at your nipple, “you’re mine sweetheart.”

You cry out weakly when he begins aiming his thrusts to hit your g-spot with every thrust he lands on you. Your toes curl in pleasure and you weakly grab at his shoulders to steady yourself. “Jungkook..!” You sob out, “ ‘m yours..! Yours..!” You moan out, back arching off the bed.

You grit your teeth in pleasure and throw your head back, “S-So close,” you croak, “gonna cum..” Your vision is blurred by the tears of pleasure forming in your eyes.

Jungkook reaches down below you two to rub his skilled fingers against your clit, “Go on then, cum for me,” he growls out.

It only takes a couple more swipes for you to cum, a silent cry leaving you as your hands grip his shoulders tightly. Your pussy squirts around his cock, leaving you breathless and shaking from the pleasure. Jungkook seems surprised you squirt on him but it doesn’t deter him. He keeps pushing you, until you’re sobbing that it’s too much.

He lets out a long moan when he cums, pressing in as he holds you tight and makes sure you don’t move so as to not waste a single drop of his cum. It’s messy down below but he doesn’t have the energy to get up. Neither do you, in fact you end up lying there trying to catch your breath.

“Hey.” He softly whispers and turns to face you.

“Hi..” You croak out.

“I love you.” He smiles tiredly.

Your eyes well with tears and you smile back, “..I love you too.”

TAGLIST: @fragmentof-indifference @jungkooksseuphoria @kooliv @angelarin @jjeonjjk7 @lilliankoo @pb-n-juju @ellesalazar @saweetspoiled @laylasbunbunny @prettyprincejk @cherrysainttt @hyunjinswifeee @joongraduatewithonor @hellbornsworld @leire-mia @m1sss1mp @lissful @winkii @lifeless-firefly @exactlygreatcoffee @taestoess @ayalies @floweryjeons @softtcurse @lilspinachwrld

#bts #bts fanfction #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut

999 notes · View notes

concreteburialplot · 5 months

Text

The Wonder Of You

pairing: nicholas ruffilo x fem!reader

masterlist: here | crossposted: ao3 | word count: 4.5k

summary: you surprise your boyfriend with festive lingerie for his birthday. he shows you just how grateful he is with all the love he has in his corazón.

warnings: sweet, soft, FLUFFY, making love, soft dom!nick, festive (xmas-y), established dom/sub relationship, quite domestic, fingering/handjob, oral [m receiving], throat fucking, p n v, creampie, praise, again nick has a big fat one sorry it's just canon at this point - massive cocks are rare but he's got one ok, 18+ MDNI

a/n: happy birthday nicky🩷

And when you smile, the world is brighter You touch my hand, and I'm a king

Your kiss to me is worth a fortune Your love for me is everything

I'll guess I'll never know the reason why You love me as you do

That's the wonder The wonder of you

- 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙤𝙛 𝙔𝙤𝙪 // 𝙀𝙡𝙫𝙞𝙨 𝙋𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙮

Your boyfriend sits in the living room while you spend time curating the perfect set up for his birthday in your bedroom. You already lit the candles, mostly unscented but some which smell like a warm campfire and one that smells like candy cane, because you know he likes that one especially. There’s a playlist softly playing in the background, curated with a mix of his favorite songs that set a tone, lots of Deftones of course.

You undress and pile your clothes on top of the hamper before slipping on the set you bought for his birthday. It was lacy red triangles covering your breasts and it flowed down over your torso in a light mesh. You step into what is really a joke and an overstatement of being called underwear – it was just a couple of straps, completely bare in the middle between your legs. A pair of puffballs hang just above your ass and the edges of the babydoll top are lined in white fluff. Stepping in front of the full-length mirror you smooth out the mesh and take in your silhouette. Your immediate reaction is discomfort, feeling like these are clothes you don’t belong in. The outfit is too revealing, too holiday-y, too colorful, too much.

But you know how much he loves Christmas and how much he won’t care what you’re wearing once he sees you in lace. Man brains are quite simple after all, he probably won’t be able to tell you the color of the outfit when he’s done with you.

You sigh, making a mental note to push your insecurities to the side for the night and try to just embrace your sensuality for him.

Your hand hesitates before turning the doorknob and peaking your head out. He must’ve gotten bored since you see him working on some tattoo design on his iPad.

“Okay. Ready.” You say quickly before shutting the door and making it to the edge of the bed. You sit and unwrap a candy cane to suck on.

It’s clear he was unsure what exactly he was walking into by the surprised look on his face as he takes in the room before landing on you.

“Oh.” His eyes wide and locked on you. “This is what you’ve been working on?” He asks, crossing the room over to you. “What’s all this for?”

“Your birthday silly.” You place the end of the candy cane in your mouth and pull it out with a pop, your eyes fixated on his.

He glances over at the clock on the nightstand reading 11:14 pm. “Well, it’s not my birthday quite yet.”

“I figured we could start off strong.” You shrug, “I’m sure by the time we’re done it’ll be your birthday anyway.”

“Quite a bold assumption, with how fucking good you look.” He jokes, not being able to stay off your body.

“Mmm.” You hum around the candy cane before pulling it out to speak. “I’m sure we can make it last.”

You find his wrist and carefully bring it down while you part your legs for him, letting his fingers find your exposed pussy.

His eyes round at the discovery, “Fuck you’re so wet already.” He mumbles, cupping your cheek to tilt your face up to him. “You’re this wet just from wanting to please me?”

You hum an “mhm” around the sugary cane looking up at him.

His fingers glide up your folds exploring you while his eyes can’t look anywhere besides your occupied mouth. “Fuck baby.” The hand on your cheek slides down to around your throat, gently with no pressure. “I need that to be my cock in your mouth.”

You knew it wouldn’t take long for him to slip into his usual self. You hook your finger at the curve in the cane and slide it past your lips, letting your lips stay parted for him.

“Mmm.” His hand around your throat slithers up to your jaw and tugs his thumb across your lips before dipping it into your mouth. You instantly wrap your lips around his finger and suck on him just as you would his cock. Your eyes never leave his as you do so.

“Oh, what a good girl, getting a head start.” He praises which only fuel you.

You hum and nod around his finger while your hands fumble to find his zipper. You waste no time trying to palm him over his jeans, you don’t want to keep him waiting on his birthday after all. You tug his pants and underwear down past his knees, letting his hard cock spring free smacking against his stomach. No matter how long you’ve been together the sight of his size never ceases to amaze you. It never fails to fill your tummy with excitement and fear.

You don’t hesitate to begin working his length in your hands. His skin is silky smooth to the touch and the blood rushing through his member makes his veins so prominent beneath your fingertips.

The feeling of your hands has his eyes fluttering closed for just a second. His fingers never halted between your legs, now slipping into your entrance.

He leans down and presses his forehead against yours before pulling his thumb from your mouth. His gray-blue eyes lovingly track yours as he holds your jaw gently. “You are so pretty.” He says softly in the space between you two, so quiet you’d think the room was full of people and he only wanted you to hear.

A blush coats your cheeks, and you shake your head. “No, no. I look so silly.”

“Uh uh,” He nudges his nose against yours sweetly, “You know better than to say no to me.”

A small smile tugs at your lips, because for some reason it makes you feel so safe when he asserts himself like that. “Yes sir.” You reply meekly.

The edges of his lips tug up into a grin, “That’s my girl.” He whispers.

He pulls away just a bit to glance around the room, the red LED lights with the Christmas lights hung around the room and all the candles lit. “You did this all for me?” He asks quietly, holding your chin up.

“Of course.” You whisper back, looking up at him in awe. Even when his hair in a messy bun and thick rimmed glasses, he’s still the most handsome man in the world to you. “You work so hard. You deserve a little fun. And what’s more fun than having me be a toy for you?”

A chuckle escapes his lips, “While I can’t argue with that, I don’t need all of this for my birthday. It’s just another day to me, you know that.”

“I know. But I love you.” You state softly, nuzzling your cheek against his palm. “You deserve everything, and I just want to make you feel good. I want to show you how much I love you.”

“I love you too.” He smiles and leans down to your lips pressing a long kiss against them. “Well, let’s get that pretty mouth of yours to work then, hm?”

Rosy-pink tints your cheeks and a flurry of butterflies swirl in your tummy. You nod and let him pull his fingers from you. He slips them into his mouth and sucks them clean, humming at your taste. “God, you taste so fucking good.”

“Sh.” You wave off his compliment, mostly because it worsens the warmth on your cheeks.

The bed squeaks a bit as you readjust to lay flat on your stomach to be level with his cock. Your mouth waters at the sight of it. Thick and massive, the first half of his shaft a darker shade of his olive skin tone, with the second half much lighter. His tip swollen and pink with a driblet of precum pooling at the head.

You take no time in licking a fat strip up his slit before taking his head into your mouth. He lets out a grunt at the stimulation of your warm mouth around him. His hand finds your head and tangles his fingers into your hair.

You savor him, rolling swirls on the underside of his cock and then circling around the tip. His head is so big it almost fills your entire mouth, so you use your hands to take care of the rest of his length as you begin bobbing on him.

“Fuck.” He groans, tugging at your hair a bit, “Fuck that feels so good.”

You swoon at the praise which makes you work harder. Your hands working him, squeezing around his shaft for extra stimulation. You move up and down on him, taking as much of him in your mouth as you can, letting him hit the back of your throat each time.

“God, look how good you are for me, taking me so well.” He grunts a bit, rutting his hips for work just a little, knowing that too much might hurt you.

Your heart swells at his words and the noises he’s making, you can tell how much he’s enjoying himself and that’s all you wanted. You wiggle your ass up a bit just to show off just how little the strappy lingerie covers you.

“Mmm.” He hums, his hand running down your back and squeezing a cheek before landing a hard smack against it.

While you half expected it, it still stings but it’s exactly what you wanted. You know he won’t hurt you too much tonight since he’s being so sweet but usually, he loves hurting you and you love taking it.

You whine around his member and take him even deeper down your throat. You try your best to suppress a gag the deeper you go on him, but it’s not that successful. His fingers curl stiffer around your hair at the sound and swivels his hips forward ever so slightly, enough to make you gag again. He chuckles at your struggle, deriving twisted pleasure out of it. When you don’t give him a warning sign he pushes further down your throat. His favorite thing is testing just how far you’ll go for him. He loves how hard you work for him, and he doesn’t take it for granted, he loves watching his best girl choke on his cock.

You whine around him again and look up at him with your eyes filling with tears from the pain of his girth in your throat.

His lips pull to a sinister smirk at the sight of your makeup running down your face. “Oh my, look at you.” He loosens his grip in your hair and instead combs through it as he speaks. “You look so fucking gorgeous with your pretty mouth full of my cock.”

The praise alone has you nearly dripping on the bed and fills your heart with loving pride. You want nothing more than to please him and make him happy, especially on his birthday.

You moan with your mouth full and looking up at him through your thick lashes and he looks down at you in awe.

“Can I try something with you, my love?” He asks sweetly, as if he doesn’t have the power to command you to do whatever he wanted.

You pull off of him with a pop, nodding with a string of drool still hanging from his tip to your mouth.

“How about you lay on your back for me huh? Hang your head off the edge of the bed.”

Fear slithers up your spine at the idea of him having that much more access to your throat from that angle.

Nick picks up on your hesitation and bends down to your eyelevel, taking your chin gently between his fingers. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to baby. But I promise I’ll be gentle, okay? You can pat my thigh if you need me to stop.”

You tug at your bottom lip in thought but ultimately agree with an “okay” in an already raspy voice. You do as he asked and flipped onto your back, letting your head hang just off the mattress edge.

“Good girl.” He stretches out the words as he watches you put your body on display for him.

His leans down you as soon as you’ve settled. He uses both hands to gently finish brush all the rogue hairs away from your face and neck. His tattooed hands then find your cheeks and cupping them. “You are so goddamn beautiful.” He smiles, just taking in the wonder of you. “I can’t wait to make a mess out of you.”

You beam up at him and he can’t help but widen his grin. His thumb rubs your cheek tenderly before leaning down to press a kiss to your messy lips. He nudges his nose against yours, “I love you so fucking much, Princess.” He whispers.

Your heart swells at your favorite petname. With the way he treats you, he always made you feel like a princess, and he always made you feel so taken care of, so protected.

You were his. Completely, totally, entirely.

You belonged to him, and he belonged to you.

“I love you too Nicky.” You reply softly in the same low volume.

You let there be moment of comforting silence between you, your foreheads pressed against each other, his hands lovingly holding your head. You revel in the deep adoration you have for one another.

“I’m ready.”

“Okay my doll.” He presses another peck on your lips before returning to his original standing position.

He takes hold of his member by the base and uses it to press his swollen head against your partially parted lips. You open up for him, giving him full access to your mouth. He slides his length in, moving past your tongue immediately going for the throat. While the new position allows him to get deeper, you’re pleasantly surprised to find that it doesn’t trigger your gag reflex nearly as much as the previous position. This discovery allows you to relax and let him have his way with you.

He starts slow to test the water with long deep strokes but soon picks up speed. His hips thrust in and out of your mouth vigorously getting lost in it.

“Gah - fuck.” He groans out in a hiss. His hand smothers down around your neck, pressing down on the sides a bit. He wanted to feel himself destroy your trachea.

He leans forward a bit, only shoving himself down your throat more, to trace his fingers down your front finding your closed, bent legs. He taps your thigh softly, “C’mon baby, let me see that pretty pussy of yours.”

You didn’t think it was possible to feel anything other than the monster in your throat but still, your cheeks heated up and a flutter grew between your legs.

You bend to him, like you always do, obeying him out of devotion not out of direction. His hand slides down your inner thigh as you spread for him. You feel a tinge of insecurity and maybe embarrassment in your revealing lingerie, the crotchless thong offering no coverage for you.

His fingers glide up between your folds, circling around your clit before reaching further down and gathering the juices at your entrance. From this angle he can’t dip inside you but god just the proximity of his touch has you pulsing around nothing. He retracts his reach and brings his fingers to his mouth, slipping them in desperately needing the taste of you. He groans around his fingers covered in your slick and continues to roll his hips harshly into your throat as he savors you.

“God, fuck baby.” He groans and slowly pulls from your throat. As uncomfortable as it was having him lodged there, it brings a vague feeling of emptiness. You love having him inside you, one way or another.

Drool connects his member to your mouth in strands, his cock coated in saliva.

“I need your fucking pussy baby. I need to feel you.” He says, slipping out of the rest of his clothes, his body on full display.

His body was tattooed almost completely. Most people wouldn’t consider a body like his anything special perse, he wasn’t muscular or toned really, mostly just lean. Except for some muscle in his arms from playing bass and lugging around instruments all the time. He’d been very skinny most of his life but as he’s gotten older there was thin extra layer around his tummy, which you loved. As long as you’d known him, he never liked to show much skin, he was never one to be shirtless for no reason. Which you never really understood because to you, he was the most attractive man in any room. But since he wasn’t fond of showing skin, there were parts of him only you got to see. Tattoos only you knew were there and knew the stories of. Tattoos only you got to trace with your fingers and your tongue.

Loving him and catering to him was an art only you knew.

You nod and sit up, but before you even get a chance to breathe, he’s grasped your thighs and tugged you the edge of the bed. He whisks you up prompting you to wrap your legs around his hips. Your arms slink around his neck and you once again press your forehead against his, this time getting a good view of his eyes. In the dim light with the faint red glow from the light strips, his eyes look extra green. You loved how his eyes could change depending on the setting. It amazed you how no matter the color, blue, green or grey, they always looked perfect for him.

“You are so, so good for me. I couldn’t ask for a better girl.” He says softly.

“You mean that?” You ask past the strain in your throat, leaning forward a bit to be even closer with him.

“Of course, my darling. Look at all you’ve done for me, and how good you make me feel.” He gushes.

“I do?” You hum ghosting against his lips.

“Mhm.” He hums back.

He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips, you reciprocate, tangling your fingers in his messy black hair before lengthening the kiss. It’s soft, sweet, loving, patient.

It doesn’t take long for the kiss to escalate into a passionate flame. He climbs up onto the bed clumsily with you still wrapped around him. He carefully drops you in the middle of bed, your head landing on plush pillows without interrupting your kiss.

Your lips and tongues dance together as his hands wander your body. His soft hands gliding your every curve beneath the thin babydoll mesh. He detaches from your lips and begins kissing down your neck. His breathing is rapid and needy.

“I love you. I love every part of you,” He says hastily between open mouth kisses. “Every fucking part.”

You’re dizzy with how much you love him. “I love you too.”

He’s so fucking worked up that he’s already rutting the tip of his cock up and down your folds, putting pressure against your buzzing clit.

You whine at the sensation of his tip against your sensitivity and his sucking on the weak spot on your neck. Your hand tangles in his hair, gripping it with need.

As much as you don’t want to interrupt the sweetness of it all, you need him in a much different way. “Please fuck me, fuck I need your cock so fucking bad please.” You beg, the ache between your thighs screaming for relief.

He chuckles against your neck, even though you can tell he needs it just as bad. It doesn’t take much to bring you both back to your normal depravity. “Hm. You’re gonna have to do better than that. What is it you need baby?”

You groan a bit in defiant impatience. “Your cock. I need your fucking cock.”

“Hm. A little sassy are we? Not even a please that time.” He rolls his hips into you, sliding the underneath of his length between your soaked lips. “Let’s try again. Be more specific, what do you want?”

You huff, over his delaying. “I want your big fat fucking cock to fuck me raw. Please.”

“That’s my good girl.” The edges of his lips curl to a smirk, “Well. I think we can arrange that.”

Before you could even respond he’s already pressed his tip into your entrance. He wants to ram right into you, you can tell, but he knows better than that. He’s gotten really good at knowing how to stretch you out properly. His thumb finds your sensitive nub and begins rolling tight circles into it to help you relax around him.

“That’s it baby.” He reassures you. “You’re doing so good for me.” He fills you slowly, inch by inch carefully until he’s bottomed out. You hiss at the pain of him inside you. He fills you entirely and the stretch burns at first but sweetens when he begins moving in and out of you. Deep grumbly groans fill his chest at the feeling you tight around him.

“Fuck.” You wince a bit but let your eyes flutter close.

His movements start slow, but you feel his restraint bubbling beneath your fingertips like a volcano. “You’re doing such a good job, Princess, taking me so fucking good.” He groans into your neck.

His fingers work diligently on your pulsing clit, helping ease the pain a bit. You’ve been worked up all night thinking about this moment, combined with how his cock reaches the deepest parts of you and how his fingers work where you need him, you feel like you could explode any second.

“I’m trying to go slow baby, but you just feel so fucking good.” He says between the breathy moans that escape him. His actions match his statement, his hips working in quick but deep thrusts in and out of you.

You whine loudly at his words, only worsening you impending climax. Tingle fill your body down to your legs that wrap around his waist. You love seeing and feeling just how much he can’t control himself with you. The knot in your tummy is so tight it feels like it’s about to snap.

“I’m close.” You warn hastily, unsure of how much longer you’ll last – and you know he won’t like it if you don’t ask for permission first. “Can I cum? Please – fuck, please I’m so close.”

His fingers on your clit speed up just a bit to help you over your finish line. “Cum for me baby, c’mon cum all over my cock.”

Bright ecstasy blooms from where he works on you, sending a blazing buzzing across your skin. Explosions fill your tummy and your heart beats so fast it feels like it could rupture.

“Don’t fight it Princess, go ahead, give in to me.” He hums just beneath your ear.

Your nails dig deep into his back as your spine curves violently up from the mattress. Screams curses and moans rip through your chest and fill the room.

“Oh my, there we go.” His thrusts speeding up beginning to chase his own orgasm. “That’s my good girl, cumming so hard for me.”

His deep raspy voice and the way he’s talking you through with a bit of overstimulation from his persistent fingers pushes you over a different edge, feeling yourself squirt your juices all over his cock.

“Oh, look at that,” He lets out a strained groan. “I know it’s so much isn’t it?”

You cling onto him, biting down on his shoulder as you ride out your orgasm. His thrusts get quick and sloppy and hard, probably getting pushed over his own edge by the way your walls spasm around him.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He growls, his hands sliding beneath your thighs and hooking behind your knees to keep you in place. He slams hard into you repeatedly until he goes rigid, and you feel his cock twitch inside you – which with how large he is, is a bit painful but you love it. Milky white paints your walls and fills you up fully, pouring out of you before he even pulls out.

He rests atop of you and lets himself soften a bit before pulling from you. It’s an odd feeling being so full then being so empty, but at least you have his cum pooling inside of you for now.

He falls next to you and your chests rise and fall in time. After you’ve both come down a little, you look over at each other with glossy eyes and soft smiles.

After you both have showered and cleaned up, you change into some cozy pajamas. A unplanned cold front had rolled in so the warmest pajamas you had were matching Christmas ones. Nicholas lit the fireplace while you made your signature hot chocolate.

You cozy up next to him on the couch, beneath a blanket and a cat or two. The fireplace warmth and the lit Christmas tree are the only things lighting the room besides the glow of the mostly full moon from outside the window. You nestle your head on his shoulder and watch the fire crackle beneath the hung stockings – one for each of you and for each cat.

The heat of the hot cocoa almost burns your tongue – just almost, just like you like it. The hot drink fills your chest, warming you from the inside. Your eyes drift to the lit Christmas tree you had put up just a couple days ago. You can’t help but smile at how each ornament has a special memory attached. You take it in and appreciate it now because it is a miracle the tree lasted even this long with the cats trying to climb it every chance they got.

Even though you wanted to wait, he was so excited to put it up after Thanksgiving that you couldn’t say no. You can rarely say no to him, especially when his eyes are so bright. Holidays weren’t ever your thing, but he always made them so special. Being with him is a dream, so you savor the magic he brings.

You’ll love the holidays, as long as you have him to celebrate with.

You snuggle into him shivering a bit before looking up at him, catching him admiring the fire and the tree too.

“Hey.” You say quietly to catch his attention but not disrupt the peace. He looks down at you, with eyes so fully of contentment. “Happy birthday.”

The edges of his mouth curl into a happy grin. “Thank you, my love.” He kisses your forehead, “You didn’t have to do all of that for me.”

If you were more awake, you’d tease him and ask if he was complaining but you were far too drained for that.

“I know, but I wanted to. Because I love you.” You plant a peck on his shoulder.

“I’ll never understand why you love me as you do.” He states, using the hand not occupied with a mug to find and hold yours. “But god, am I grateful. You truly are the love of my life.”

You can’t hide the wide smile that stretches across your face and the blush that coats your cheeks. “And you are mine, Nicholas.”

tag list; i don't currently have a general tag list for all my fics so if you'd like to be added to that pls lmk!

a/n; thank you for reading if you did! i'm not that good at writing smut or fluff so sorry if it wasn't that great! this is probably the fluffiest thing ive ever written and im embarassed 🫣

Thank you for any support you guys ever give me on any of my works, it truly means the world to me that you guys enjoy my words and lil plots.

let me know if you liked it! i love hearing your thoughts🥰🩷

148 notes · View notes

forgiveness-in-the-misery · 5 months

Text

I glimpsed a post on reddit that made the claim that Murderface is incredibly under developed as a character and is basically Cartman from South Park and it is genuinely the dumbest take I have seen.

Especially when you consider the times Brendon talked about originally just making each character represent people you find in the metal scene or would see at a show and he was the guy who just stands around and bitches about everything….but then quickly realized that is super limiting and began exploring why this person is this way.

And the show does that. A lot.

His parents died, he was raised by grandparents who didn’t want custody of him but took him anyway, we know his grandma provided less than the bare minimum in terms of child care for him. We know he was consistently bullied at school and harassed and had nobody he could confide in or vent to.

We know it fucks him up that his parents died and the way they died and he won’t ever know why his dad did what he did other than his assumption it was because they rather die than look at him (i will die on the hill thag Stella told him that)

We know he’s insecure, we know rejection scares him so he just goes ahead and sets out to be rude and obnoxious and fail at things so that way he won’t be surprised when shit goes badly. We know he’s scared of being abandoned and with the finale we know he has been scared of becoming like Magnus.

A man who emotionally abused him enough to fully instill into him the idea that he is talentless and worthless, that they all are. He wanted to just run off and isolate away from his friends because of the things Salacia forced him to do, because he would rather die than hurt his friends. Because even before Salacia he knows that his negativity was all parroting of Magnus and emotionally abusing people he loves and he doesn’t want to be that person at all and never meant to become that person.

Like literally how can you claim this character is under developed and compare him to Cartman who is basically just a mouth piece at this point for the showrunners shitty opinions.

#metalocalypse

154 notes · View notes

whatudowhennooneseesyou · 1 year

Text

Late Bloomer Boyfriend: Bang Chan

Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only. Think about it. Have hard thoughts. Don't take it too seriously.

18+ only.

Also, this pic...omg, it makes me want to write a 10 day Daddy!Chan series because I am drooling violently.

I am going to tentatively say that out all of my late bloomer boyfriend analysis THUS FAR.

Bang Chan.

Daddy Chan.

Would be THE BEST late bloomer boyfriend and here is WHY...

Firstly, the man has a very obvious caregiver complex (at least, I think it's very obvious) and so he naturally attracts/is attracted to people who don't feel understood or 'seen' in life because his Libra stellium naturally makes him very empathetic and a naturally caring person.

People who tend to be a 'late bloomer' in life usually do have some insecurities about themselves because it's just almost impossible not too??

And Bang Chan's Mars in the 7th House means he is attracted to transformative relationships and people that help him 'grow' and discover traits and flaws about himself.

Being someone's first ever partner would encourage Bang Chan to hone different skills like patience, communication and emotional intimacy whilst also encouraging him to discover different parts of himself.

You would be his own personal project in a way, which can be seen as positive or negative depending on Chan's maturity level.

At Chan's worst, he could see you as a project to 'fix' or a vision to work on because it helps him build his self-esteem, that he's helping someone 'heal' and he could unconsciously put you into 'victim' mode and cause you to unnecessarily restrict yourself, just show he can come back and 'fix' you again.

Bang Chan would be a great 'first ever' boyfriend those little 'milestones' in relationships that experienced people might take for granted, he would celebrate them with you.

He's the first man you bring home to your family? You'll best believe he'll dress up and maybe even bring some flowers.

It's your first Valentines Day ever with a partner? He'll go all out and make it the most cliche and corniest of experiences ever.

Okay, let's talk about the seggsy stuff.

Look, the whole 'Daddy' persona is not as far-fetched as we believe.

I'm not going to say that Chan 100% has a thing for being called 'Daddy'.

But the chances of him enjoying it are pretty high.

And I also have to point out that I'm not saying that Chan would be into age-play or ddlg, I'm saying that Chan would probably enjoy being called 'Daddy' as a term of endearment.

Because I have to continuously say this but age-play/age regression is a form of lifestyle whereas calling someone 'Daddy' only in intimate situations is just a term of authority.

Chan would enjoy knowing that he's being the first to explore this area with you, to show you things you haven't discovered for yourself, to see you react to him and only him.

'How does that feel babygirl? Does that feel good? You look so beautiful under me right now, doing so well'.

And with Chan, it would seem like he's cool right? That he has everything under control.

But his cool persona hides a lot of emotional temperament and a constant desire to feel NEEDED.

And you best believe this side of him would show when you're under the sheets with him.

'Babygirl, you need Daddy to make you feel good don't you? You need me to take care of you and I will, whenever you need because you're MY babygirl'.

Now, on a worst level.

Chan could weaponise your inexperience and use it against you, manipulate and victimise you into how much you need him in your life.

'You couldn't even make yourself cum if it weren't for my help. You could never take care of yourself like how I can take care of you'

But on a positive level,

You would feel SAFE, protected, nurtured and appreciated, Chan's love for you would be so powerful, you would never ever doubt his affection for you.

'You make me so happy, I just want to care for you, protect you, love you. Are you going to let me babygirl?'

I also LOATHE the term 'babygirl'.

But it's just such a Chan thing to say, he is the only one that can make the term sound so sweet and sexy.

Taglist: @destiny-fics @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @hipster-shiz @creativechaoticloner @cherry-0420 @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @scuzmunkie @mrcarrots @reighlee-greaves @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @kodzukein @whatsk-poppinhomies @yeosdarling @hologramhoneymoon @dilucpegg3r @marievllr-abg @craxy-person @itbtoblikethatsometimes @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @thirstybchanstan @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @hijeongguk @berryberrytan @notastraykid @sensitiveandhungry @laylasbunbunny @muselin @bluelove24 @sometimesiwritethings

417 notes · View notes

monzamash · 1 year

Text

the good, the bad and what could’ve been — lando norris (part three)

summary – nine years. an age gap that you didn’t know would cause so much heartache. you tell yourself that it’s fine, he tells you that he could give you the world but this was a cautionary tale of what could’ve been if you just let love win. pairing – lando norris x you (female reader) chapter warning – 18+ (smut, language, age gap/older woman) word count – 8k a/n – the third and final part! thank you all for being so patient x inspired by charlie puth's song called boy. masterlist

part one | part two | part three

Previously...

For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. And maybe you didn’t need all the wisdom and baggage that came with someone older, someone who had already lived a life. In contrast, Lando was exciting and living life to the fullest, travelling the world, seeing it all and not burdened by responsibility.

But that’s what made him the dangerous choice. All these insecurities and fears swirled around in your head as you fell asleep in his warm embrace, limbs tangled together like a web, tender between your thighs and an ache in your heart.

You were falling in love with Lando; that much was true but what would the cost be of handing your heart over to someone who had the world at his feet, everything still to experience?

Winter had come and gone and spring was blossoming in all it’s glory, bringing with it new opportunity. Little by little, leaves sprouted on the branches, chirping birds returned to their homes and the scent of fresh flowers filled the busy streets of London – life resuming to normal after a long, brutal winter. The New Year proved to be quite fruitful, with you landing a freelancing job and loving it. It was time to recalibrate your goals and aspirations, reconsider where you saw yourself in five years.

The closing of one chapter gave you permission to want more, to expect more than the mundane and experience what the world had to offer. You’d settled for less for far too long but now you were finally stepping up and advocating for yourself – to yourself.

“You seem so happy.”

Rae couldn’t help herself. She’d kept tight-lipped until now, sensing the shift in your mood weeks ago and loving how much you’d been smiling lately. And she knew why. A certain curly haired man had shown you what happiness looked like, what it felt like and most importantly, how it could mend a broken spirit. You were stumbling through life, chasing unattainable goals and it made you miserable. You were free-spirited, a lone wolf – and Lando allowed you to explore that, to be spontaneous.

“I am,” You simply replied and took a sip of the coffee she’d made you, watching your eyes glimmer in the morning light. There was a sparkle ever present when you talked about him or thought about him – a spark ignited deep within. Burning.

“And how does Lando feel about being the reason you’re so happy?” Rae asked with a sly, knowing smile as she clasped her hands under her chin, waiting for you to spill all the tea she’d missed out on over the last couple of week.

“Don’t know, to be honest. I assume he knows he’s the reason – and hopefully I’m part of the reason why he’s racing so well. We talk nearly every day…” You confessed, cheeks every so lightly blushing underneath the thin layer of foundation.

Rae nodded and flicked through her phone, “He’s going very well apparently. Mark gives me an update every weekend – kinda strange to think that he’s on the other side of the world right now.” She glanced up with furrowed brows, face-palming her forehead, “As if you need to be reminded of that. I'm sorry.”

You shrugged, “It’s totally fine. I actually… No, I shouldn’t say it.” You hesitated, knowing that if you said the words out loud, they would suddenly become real and you didn’t want to put those thoughts and feelings out into the universe – not yet.

“Well you have to now,” Rae chuckled, her full attention all yours.

“I thought that maybe he would’ve asked me to come along to a race – his home one at least but it hasn’t come up… and I’ve been pathetically hinting at it – it’s really lame so forget I said anything,” You quickly muttered, fumbling over your words and feeling your heart start to race.

“That’s like, the opposite of lame. You should ask him.”

“No fucking way. God, even just thinking about asking him makes me want to throw up,” You laughed, almost choking on your words as if it was the last thing on earth you would ever do, “No, if he wants me there, he’ll ask.”

Rae nodded and went back to the coffee in her hands, “Your call but I think he’d appreciate you being forward. I can hear how much you mean to him when you’re on the phone… don’t take what you have for granted.”

“Sage advice, Sensai.”

You promised to think about it. But things were perfect with Lando and the last thing you wanted to do was over step boundaries when everything had been smooth sailing. You strongly believed that if he wanted you there, he would ask and you were sticking with it. It wasn’t the end of the world if he didn’t either, and maybe he was worried that the whole spectacle would scare you away. The endless rotation of thoughts tumbled around in your head until you finally fell asleep, curled up in his bed, waiting for him to come home.

The sound of his soft voice a few hours later woke you from your nap, “What are you doing here? Where’s your Mum?” You heard him ask your puppy who was skating around his feet, scratching the floorboards and no doubt nearly weeing herself with excitement.

The faint squeak of the bedroom door made your heart flip in your chest, watching him step through with a small smile. His eyes were dark and those wild curls you loved fell flat over his forehead – physically shattered from a whole day of travel, flight cancelations delaying his return home but he exhaled when he spotted you propped up in his bed, relieved that you were still here after weeks away. A weight had been taken off his weary shoulders when he saw your face.

“Welcome home,” You whispered as he dropped his luggage at the door and unclipped the backpack on his shoulders, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

Lando jumped up onto the bed like a shot and summoned the last remaining ounces of energy he had, crawling over your duvet-covered body. You had thought about surprising him with something cute, like a new two-piece lingerie set because that’s what you’d always done for men. Dolled yourself up until you were unrecognisable, servicing them and not wearing what you wanted. But Lando worshiped the ground you walked on, made you feel sexier than you’d ever felt before. Oversized t-shirts and track pants were his love language. Comfort was important to him and there was nothing he loved more than seeing you relaxed. Cosy and content.

“Missed you more.” You sighed as Lando grasped the duvet and ripped it back, along with the sheets; a smirk teasing on his lips, “Doubt that very much.”

The unruly curls were even more frazzled close up, the bags under his eyes darker than the last time you’d seen him. His cheeks were hollowed, bone structure more prominent and small blemishes had surfaced on his soft skin, reminding him that even in the chaos of a double header, he still needed to follow a skincare routine. His sullen features made your heart sink as he hovered above you; his cheeky expression the only thing keeping you from asking if he was okay, if he was struggling. There was glimmer in his eyes that settled your fears, a bright spark igniting behind the bloodshot whites giving you silent reassurance that being here with you was the lifeline that he needed right now.

“I thought about this every day… about you, about us. Feel like a muppet for being away from a creature as beautiful as you for so long,” Lando chuckled through his confession – reflecting on how ridiculous the last few weeks had been, how stupid he was for not calling more.

“A really cute muppet though,” You teased, making him giggle and lose balance, fatigued arms giving out and causing him to land on top of you with a loud huff. You took his entire body weight with a sigh, arms wrapped around his torso; head nestled into the crook of his neck. Lando did the same – lips dancing over the shell of your ear, whispering how beautiful you looked, how desperately he craved the feeling of you tangled up with him but his voice was strained, depleted.

Lando managed to lift himself up and save you from the crush, propped up on his elbow, eyes trained on the side of you face in the dimly lit bedroom. The only light source coming from the laptop to your left, white light blasting up the dark walls as you laid peacefully, fingertips brushing over the exposed skin on your shoulder.

“Did Max let you in? I didn’t see him downstairs,” Lando asked, curious to know how you managed to surprise him like this, welcoming him home with open arms.

“He gave me his key – he’s gone up to Bristol for some racing thing, he said. And Chompy and I couldn’t wait to see you so he offered. I hope that’s okay…”

You felt awkward all of a sudden, like you’d overstepped one of those invisible boundaries that were in place, about to explode on a grenade. But Lando’s rolling eyes softened you, a smile erupting on his face as he leaned in and captured your lips, “More than okay. Wish you were here all the time.”

He didn’t mean for that to sound the way it did. Moving in together wasn’t on the agenda but he appreciated you being there tonight, a familiar face to ground him again after weeks spent flying around the world, Austria being the last stop.

“How long are you back for this time?”

The question was laced in faux curiosity – you knew how long you had him in London, down to the hour if you were being totally honest. The innocent question made Lando think, mind flicking through the days like a diary in the palms of his hands, “A bit over a week, I reckon. Silverstone’s this weekend – home race,” He replied animatedly, eyes wide and shining bright.

“Exciting,” You whispered as Lando stretched his back, hand squeezing your hip.

“I’ve got you a pass for the weekend but realised I hadn’t actually asked if you were free… You are, right?” His question quelled all of your fears of him thinking you weren’t interested in his life, not willing to take that next step with him.

You nodded, simply, wordless while you turned onto your side. Lando smiled and closed his eyes as your hands trawled through his uncontrollable hair, curls tangling around your fingers while you pulled him closer and pressed another sweet kiss to his lips, “I’ll be shitting myself the whole time but that’ll be out weighed by seeing you in your race suit, I guess.”

Lando huffed out a soft chuckle, eyes cracking open ever so slightly – playfully narrowed, “I do look really sexy in the kit.” You hummed in agreement, nodding while closing the gap again, lips softly touching before his hand snaked up and held your jaw gently, holding you in place.

The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the night, wrapped up in each other; slowly drifting off to sleep. Having Lando home brought you more joy than you thought it would, a comfort that caught you by surprise. You were an independent woman, self-reliant but he gave you something that you didn’t even know you needed – companionship. A sounding board to all your shit, someone who listened without judgement, unfiltered opinions on anything and everything.

And unbeknownst to you, Lando had made it his mission to be that person for you. He was quickly learning all your whims, the good and the bad and appreciating how you saw the world so differently to him – so wise. This was, after all, his first serious relationship and he was in uncharted waters, with an older woman.

But once you’d gotten to know more about each other than what was underneath your clothes, the age gap was merely a factoid in your story. You were everything he could’ve conjured up in a dream journal – smart, sexy, funny, down to earth and into him. Well-travelled, cultured, successful; you were everything and still, after three months, couldn’t believe that he was the one you were falling in love with; that you were his.

The morning of race day was utter madness. Lando was running late, as per usual, rushing around his apartment trying to find his sunglasses until you picked them up from his kitchen counter with a smile. Thank you, he whispered, pressing a hurried kiss to your cheek before hiking up his backpack and pulling you towards the front door. You’d kept your outfit simple and boringly beige, not wanting to stand out too much in the paddock. The white knitted dress that came down to mid-thigh, black tights, combat boots and a taupe Burberry trenchcoat did the job at staying low-key, blending into the background noise and avoiding the chaos.

Max had promised to metaphorically hold your hand the entire day, making sure you weren’t separated from the small Quadrant crew that had also been invited along to the British Grand Prix. You didn’t know much about them, nor did you realise how renowned they were but everywhere they went, they were bombarded with people asking for selfies and autographs.

“It’s getting fucking stupid now. We’ve gotta go!” Ria, who you’d met barely five minutes ago, yelled at Max who was pointing towards the paddock entrance with a panicked look on his face. “You go first babes,” She smiled, more of less pushing you towards the turnstile with your pass around your neck, finally making it through the gates.

You wondered how they ever got used to that – the constant attention. And if it was this bad for them, you couldn’t imagine how intense it was for Lando. Truth be told, you’d never actually gone out on an official date together, always opting for post-mates and spending quality time alone at home – away from prying eyes and ill-mannered people who had no sense of personal space. But would it be like this everywhere you went with him? Were you prepared to have your whole life on display for the world to see? You had no clue.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Max exhaled, grasping your shoulder with sympathetic eyes. He was more shocked than you were about the whole situation and you couldn’t help but chuckle at how stunned he was, readjusting his Quadrant cap.

“Didn’t realise you were so famous, Maxy boy. Kind of impressed,” You teased back, earning a chuckle from Ria who had walked up beside you, arm linked with yours, “Don’t stroke his ego too much.”

“Good point.”

There were celebrities filing through the crowd in droves and the pit lane was absolutely loaded with people trying to get a glimpse of the teams. McLaren were the epitome of formula one in the United Kingdom, you’d been told and that was backed up ten-fold when you peeked into the garage, searching for their star drivers. Lando had spoken about Daniel fondly and admired the way he was able to put his head down and tune out the bullshit. You told him to let some of that resilience rub off on him, knowing that the external noise is never as bad as what’s going on inside his head. But you could only control one of the two.

You could almost see those internal thoughts swirling above Lando’s tilted head when you spotted him in the back of the garage – intently analysing jumbled numbers on a screen and biting his fingernails. He looked almost angelic standing amongst the madness in the white skin-tight fireproofs, suit folded down and hanging around his jutted hips. His thumb was basically in his mouth, teeth violently chomping away at the skin as he processed whatever it was the man beside him was saying, eyebrows rising when he mentioned something of interest.

“Don’t be offended if he doesn’t come over and say hello – he’s usually in the zone by now and blocks everyone out.” Max explained, managing your expectations and you appreciated the heads up. You didn’t know what to expect from the day but having a reassuring voice giving you the low down helped more than he knew.

“Oh, of course. It’s awesome to see it all in person – so much crazier than on TV,” You replied with wide eyes and an understanding smile.

Max nodded and continued to meet people while you stood beside him and the Quadrant team, taking in the scenes. The main difference between being at the track on race day and watching it on TV were the television crews. Everywhere you looked there were several people swinging around a cameraman, trying not to run into people or disrupt other stations broadcasts. You chuckled at a couple of the pit crew dancing in the background of a shot, knowing that their weekend had been a lot longer than anyone else’s here.

You were so preoccupied watching them fooling around that you hadn’t felt someone sneaking up behind you, hand gently gripping your waist; the whispered ‘hi’ in your ear assuring you that it was Lando. His hand retreated before you spun around, the other holding a water bottle up to his mouth.

“Hi you,” You replied sweetly, instinctively reaching out to nudge his hip but deciding mid air to keep your hands to yourself. Lando noticed and chuckled as he took a gulp of water, eyes scanning your face.

“You’re a little bit sunburnt, baby.” He stated with a smirk, taking in your flushed cheeks and feeling his heart flip at how happy you looked. “Are you having fun?”

“Lots of fun. And I’m being very well looked after – thank you by the way,” You replied quietly, Lando taking a step forward so he could hear you over all the commotion. He scanned the small group of his closest friends and internally jumped for joy that they had stuck to their word and kept an eye out for you.

“Better fucking be. I’m paying them the big bucks,” Lando winked and pulled up the rope that was separating the two of you, “Want a tour?”

Naturally your eyebrows rose with excitement and you nodded, quickly whipping your head around to see where Max had gone and thankfully catching Ria’s attention. You pointed towards Lando who was already dragging you away and she held her hand up to her ear, gesturing for you to call her when you needed to meet up with them again. You figured there was enough time for this tour before Lando needed to be under lock and key and you hoped you weren’t being a distraction as you sheepishly followed him through the garage.

“I’m just gonna grab my gloves from my room and walk her back to the paddock,” Lando whispered to Jon, who had been one of the sweetest people you’d met so far. No worries mate, he replied with a smile before returning to his phone.

Once you were out of sight of the crowd and cameras, Lando held out his hand for you to take, clasping it firmly as he tugged you through the narrow hallways and behind the motorhomes set up side by side. He was strategic in his route, giggling when he spotted all the media looking around to bundle up drivers and team bosses for a quick comment before the race, “We’re so sneaky.”

You stayed close to him as he weaved you around once last corner and up a couple of steps, whipping the door closed as quickly as it was opened. The room was snug - only a few metres wide each way, a small daybed tucked against the wall and a desk beside you. Lando had video called you a couple of times from here, giving you the grand tour of his tiny drivers room but it was surreal to see his sanctuary in person.

“Wow, I knew it was small but you can barely swing a cat in here.” Your comment made Lando chuckle as he tidied the bed that he’d clearly been napping in before leaving to find you.

“But it’s cute and I like this a lot…” You pointed to the Polaroid stuck to the large mirror hanging above his desk – the photo was of the two of you on New Years Eve, tipsy and falling in love, “Softie.”

“How dare you call me a softie,” Lando scoffed, snaking his arms around your waist and pulling your back to his chest, trailing soft kisses up the side of your neck. “’Cause you’ve made me like this, you know.”

The rational little voice in your head was telling you to put ice on whatever Lando had on his mind, his hands doing all the talking as they skimmed over your stomach, heading north towards the two things he loved the most. You stopped their course and tutted, turning in his embrace and pining his hands to his chest, “Don’t get yourself all worked up before the race. We don’t have enough time.”

“Oh, there’s always time for this.” Lando wrestled out of your grip, way too easily you’ll admit and resumed his hold on your waist, seizing your lips in a deep kiss.

It took your breath away momentarily but you quickly snapped back to reality and slung your arms over his shoulders, bringing him closer again. He was warm to the touch, the skin on the nape of his neck sizzling under your fingertips, curls tangled from the humidity. Lando wasn’t fucking around when his tongue swiped across your bottom lip, splitting your lips and deepening the kiss even more. There wasn’t much you loved more than kissing him, wrestling each other for dominance through soft moans. The rush of blood between your thighs indicated that this was all a little bit too steamy for a pre-race catch up and you reluctantly pulled away, lips ghosting over his as you both caught your breath.

“You were right – I’m really fucking hard now,” Lando winked and brushed his fingers through his messy curls with a smirk. You rolled your eyes and shoved his chest, putting as much distance as you could between you in the tight confines.

“Zero self-control,” You playfully scolded and readjusted your trench as Lando stepped forward and straightened your collar, “But I can’t really talk because you look insanely sexy in this…” You tugged on the race suit hanging on his hips, wishing you could peel it off his body – right here, right now.

“Oh, really?” He taunted, “How sexy?”

“Like, bend me over this desk and fuck me sexy,” You stated bluntly and Lando threw his head back with a groan before rushing you with another kiss.

You couldn’t help but laugh at how desperate he was, hands friskily roaming your backside before he pulled himself away and grasped your face between his hands, “How I can simultaneously love you and hate you baffles me.”

Lando’s eyes were sincere, soft and mesmerized. You bit down on your lip, hiding the smile tugging on the corners of your mouth while you thought of a response worthy of his words. Of course you felt the same way but there was always something stopping you from saying it back. I love you too being the response Lando was looking for, pleading for. He’d said it so many times without hesitation, receiving a kiss or some kind of diversion every single time.

And it was killing him.

“I am a woman of many mysteries, my dear.”

Like a dagger to the heart.

“That is very true.” Lando averted his eyes from yours and brushed himself off, pulling the race suit over his shoulders and zipping it up. He was smiling and you breathed a sigh of relief, reassured that you hadn’t upset him before the race. At least that’s what you thought. Lando’s mind however, was racing – so many fears eating him up inside but he needed to focus on the challenge ahead.

And that’s what he did for the next three hours. Raced the wheels off that papaya car like his life depended on it, his sole focus was getting it over the checkered flag and having a respectable race after weeks of struggling to secure points.

“That’s P4, Lando – great race, mate.”

Lando cheering into his radio and thanking his team had you beaming with pride. He’d been doing it tough these past few races so finishing in the top five at his home race was exactly the kind of confidence boost he needed. It was a long season after all and he needed keep his spirits up – something that you were more than happy to help with.

“You were an absolute killer out there!” You enthused as your arms wrapped around Lando’s waist, pulling him into a hug with a contented smile. He immediately nuzzled into your neck and sighed, squeezing your shoulders in his embrace before pulling back with a grin. “You were amazing.”

“Time to celebrate, yeah?” Lando asked, glancing over at Max who was nodding with an equally large smile before leading everyone towards the parking lot.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

After rushing back to your apartment and changing into something nightclub appropriate, Max texted Lando the address for the place you would all be going to. A few of the other drivers had been invited, George Russell being the only one you’d been introduced to and all of Lando’s high school mates who had come along to the race. You knew from the second you stepped into the claustrophobic club that you’d be looking for a familiar face to latch onto, fully aware that your safety blanket would be pulled in every possible direction – and that’s exactly what happened.

You found yourself sitting alone in a small booth at the back of the club, watching Lando laughing along with his friends, smile lines more present now than you’d ever seen. The condensation on your glass had seeped down onto the table, a perfect excuse to distract you from the sickly pit forming in your stomach as you watched girl after girl attempt to make their move. It was a weird feeling – far from jealously. Guilt. A sense of shame rippled through your body as you watched him politely excuse himself and search the dance floor for you. I’m just going to the bathroom, you’d told him nearly twenty minutes ago. A little white lie to slip away but now, here you were, hiding from the man who loved you. Guilt-ridden.

“Can I sit?” You heard a loud voice ask, startling you out of your thoughts and into his chocolate brown eyes that were glistening under the dim lighting. Carlos Sainz.

“Of course. Congratulations on your win… you must be buzzing,” You leaned forward with praise, hoping he heard you over the loud music blasting through the speakers above.

He smiled in acknowledgement before taking a sip of his cocktail, “Ay, yes. Very happy but what makes me happier is to see little Lando so happy – he speaks of you a lot, you know? Doesn’t shut up sometimes…” Carlos trailed off with a knowing smirk, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows. He was tipsy.

“I’m sure he’ll hate you telling me that.” You returned the smile and grasped your glass for stability. There was something about what Carlos had said that made you nervous, pressured somehow when all he was doing was teasing his friend.

“I don’t get to make fun too much with him – so serious all the time but no,” Carlos mumbled, trying to keep track of his sentence, “Very happy he has found you.”

A couple of beats passed before you opened your mouth to speak but as you did, you felt a hand snake across your shoulder, sending a jolt down your spine before you turned to see who the hand belonged to. “Sneaking off with Sainz already? I thought you’d at least wait a couple of hours before leaving me for him.”

Lando was teasing and you knew that but Carlos in his drunken state waved his hands around like a madman, assuring his younger friend that he would do no such thing, to which Lando just snickered and brushed him off. She is beautiful though, Carlos loudly whispered, Lando's eyes catching yours as the Spaniard launched himself into his arms. It was comical and sweet the way the two of them stood there, silently hugging before Lando managed to escape his friends grip, slipping away as if nothing had happened and immediately meeting your eyes again.

“Wanna get out of here?” He mouthed; memories flashing back to the first time those words were muttered between the two of you – sparking this whole whirlwind romance. Of course you nodded, needing some fresh air and a new perspective, hoping the cloud of doubts swirling around in your subconscious for most of the night, and month, would just disappear.

The two of you hadn’t even made it through your front door before Lando’s hands were roaming your skin, fingertips leaving chills as they explored your body. You hadn’t had much to drink; a cocktail and a glass of bubbly in hospitality hours ago and Lando was the same – leaving the drinking to his mates like most of his nights out on the town. He wanted to have a clear mind for when he found himself alone with you, completely focused on the task at hand and soaking in every little detail so he could take that with him next weekend when he couldn’t roll over and have you whenever he felt like it. He hated leaving you like that – deprived of his touch.

“I don’t need foreplay,” You moaned into his mouth, breathless and needy as you straddled his lap – slowly grinding down and working you both into a whining mess. Lando had managed to lure you to the bedroom, mumbling something along the lines of your dog watching us fuck is a mood killer and you couldn't contest that. He loved taking you on the couch, hearing your screams echoing off the concrete walls downstairs but not tonight.

“That turned on for me, huh? Barely even touched you,” Lando teased while you lined him up, eyes never leaving his as you slid down and took every inch of him with ease. You nodded in response and leaned back, fingernails digging deep into his tensed thighs as you rocked back and forth, setting the pace and finding that angle that had you aching with pleasure.

“That’s feeling un-fucking-believable for me, baby. Holy shit…” Lando gasped, fingertips deeply entrenched in the skin on your hips, rolling them back and forward between his rough palms.

Eyes closed and bottom lip securely clenched between your front teeth suppressed the amount of pleasure you were feeling as he stretched you out, meeting your thrusts with a growl as you rode him. Lando struggled with relinquishing control, always wanting to be the one giving it to you on a silver platter, either missionary or hitting it from behind. And you loved that but you felt greedy for always being the lazy one, and after a long weekend, the least you could do was take some of the load off the gorgeous man whimpering below you. Begging you to come with him.

“I’ve been so pent up today, seeing you in that fucking dress and having you grinding up on me in the club. I nearly exploded in my fucking pants and right now, you feel so tight – so warm and I can’t hold on when you move like that… Jesus Christ,” Lando muttered and groaned, throwing his head back into your soft linen pillows, chuckling at how good you felt wrapped around his throbbing cock, clenching every time you bottomed out.

Lando lifted his head from the pillows he was buried in and licked the pad of his thumb before brushing it over your swollen clit and setting the bundle of nerves alight. He needed you to be where he was; desperately chasing your high and he could tell you weren’t quite there yet until he heard it – the tell tale sign that you were feeling as good as he was. It was a low moan, unlike any other sound he had ever heard before and it had him grinning like a Cheshire cat when it slipped past your beautifully parted lips. Angelically flushed face scrunched up in concentration as you chased your ecstasy and blocked out all of the thoughts rushing through your head. All you could think about now was your body bursting into flames.

Your name was falling from Lando’s lips as he squeezed his eyes shut, mouth falling agape while he watched you start to unravel above him. His gaze was hindered by lust, vision blurry as grasped your hands that were pressed down on his perspiring chest, heart beating wildly under the taut skin. You could feel it thrumming against your palms, matching your pulse as you let the knot in the pit of your stomach detonate, pussy fluttering as your high hit with ferocity. Give it to me, you chanted over and over until you felt him filling you up, spilling out and giving you every drop you were desperately begging for.

"Fucking take it, baby. Take it all," Lando growled as you slowed your movements, sensitivity now making every stroke more and more unbearable – so much so that he had to still your hips while he composed himself, eyes closed and tongue licking his chapped lips.

You leaned down and kissed them, still warming his cock but knowing you needed to get up – the pain in your thighs urging you to stretch before you started cramping from straddling his lap for so long. There was something different in the way Lando looked at you as you got up from the bed. It was hard to decipher; several shades of emotions spread across his face, ones that he couldn’t quite express in the way he wanted. And one’s you maybe didn’t want to hear.

“What’s that look?”

Curiosity got the better of you.

But deep down there was a part of you that knew that look anywhere – the look of complete adoration. You’d seen it so many times before, most recently with your friend Rae and her husband; both of them being wholly and utterly in love with each other, til death do they part. There was no doubt in your mind that they were soul mates, destined to be together for the rest of their lives, living a full life in each other’s company. What they had was a happily ever after kind of love.

Lando propped his back up against your bedhead and smiled to himself as you slipped under the sheets beside him, “I was just thinking about how fucking perfect you are and that I’ve never felt like this before. Ever.”

But his face dropped when you looked away from him, avoiding his eye contact. “You know, you do that every time I say something like that.”

You sighed and reluctantly captured his gaze again, “Do what?”

“Look away from me, like you don’t want to admit to your feelings. Because I know you have them – I feel them every time you kiss me, every time you touch me and it’s different with you… You’re special to me. I think you might actually be–”

Without even thinking, your fingertips flew to Lando’s lips and stopped him mid sentence. You didn’t know what came over you – maybe panic, trying your best to mitigate the damages that you knew were inevitably going to come. It pained you to do it and it hurt even more when Lando’s dark blue eyes widened, as if a crushing weight had just come down and pummelled his spirit.

“Don’t say it.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say,” Lando chuckled against your fingertips and through the pain, reaching up and tracing his thumb across your jawline with a strained smile, “Please let me finish.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?” His voice was stronger, stare narrowed in faux confusion. He knew what was coming, he wasn’t entirely oblivious, but he had to play dumb; act like what you were about to say was the most ludicrous thing he’d ever heard and convince you that whatever had you worried, he could fix.

But you weren’t stupid. You knew that he had sensed your wavering, the diversions every time he proclaimed how much he cared about you, the little gestures of affection that left you awkwardly speechless. It wasn’t because you couldn’t express your feelings, hell, you were a grown ass woman and it wasn’t because you didn’t love him because deep down there was a part of you that did. And maybe in some alternate universe where you weren’t in your thirties and he wasn’t a young, hotshot driver, you could’ve waited for everything to fall into place. But that wasn’t your situation. It was complicated – too much so.

“You know why…”

He wasn’t expecting the tables to be turned back on him so quickly. But the realisation hit him like a tonne of bricks; of course you knew. Of course you could see right through him, like a ghost – you’d done that since the second he laid eyes on you, read him like an open book even when he thought he was being slick, as if you hadn’t experienced all of this before. He hated that you were two steps ahead with him always on the back foot and playing catch up. He should’ve known better than to call your bluff, putting on a brave face when all he wanted to do was rewind and follow your lead. Take it slow. Easy does it. Don’t scare her off.

But he loved you; Lando couldn’t hide that. You were different. You were special. You were everything he could’ve asked for and now he could feel you slipping away.

“Don’t do this to me.” He whispered; head titled and voice meek, unsteady. The façade had finally fallen, all cards laid out on the table for all to see. You couldn’t look at him after those words left his mouth, chills surging down your spine. The room was dark, lit only by the hallway light seeping through the open door but you could see him clear as day; shattering into tiny pieces and simultaneously trying to pick them up as they fell to the floor.

“You can’t do this – not now. We’re just starting to get into a rhythm. You said you wanted this and I thought it was going well, like, you are enjoying this, right? What’s changed?” He was desperate now, clutching at every straw in the pack, searching for answers while you sat silently, mustering up the energy to tell him the cold hard truth.

You sighed and grasped his hand, shaking as you interlaced your fingers. It was selfish to want him close while you broke his heart but you were hurting too; gut-wrenched and guilt ridden that you’d allowed it to go on for this long. Four months of pure bliss masked your reality, blinders shielding you from the truth.

“I guess tonight I realised how much you have left to experience and I can’t hold you back from all of that… You should’ve been dancing with those girls tonight, living it up while you still can, you know?”

“Frankly, I don’t.” Lando scoffed, shaking his head fervently, “Who do you think I am? Fuckin’... Joey Essex or something? I’m not a player. I’m not some guy who fucks around for the sake of it. If that’s who you think I am, then fuck me. You don’t know me at all, baby.” His voice was venomous with a hint of amusement and you couldn’t help but crack a small smile.

Because he was right.

“Okay so maybe you’re not Joey Essex,” You rolled your eyes, “But you’re young! And hot and rich and famous and… There’s so much more out there for you than settling for this. For me.”

“But I want you.”

“You don’t know what you want.”

“I know that I’m in love with you.”

“You don’t know what love is.”

The longer the back and forth went on, the more nauseous you were becoming – whiplashed by words. You didn’t want to fight with him but he was adamant to fight for you, to convince you to forget about it for tonight. But your accusation that he didn’t know what love meant cut deep, slicing through his heart and belittling everything he’d done for you, how he felt about you. Undermining what you have together.

“Don’t treat me like a child. You don’t treat me like that when I’m making you scream my name or when you’re begging me to fuck you. So why are you doing it now?!” His voice was raised, teetering on the edge of a full-blown screaming match.

“Because I’ve been lying to myself! Telling myself that this was okay, that maybe we could make it work because you were so sweet, so charming. And I love what we’ve done together; you’ve made me feel alive again. But I’ve taken enough from you – you deserve more. And I deserve more – someone who isn’t away seven months out of the year; someone to start a family with and I can’t do that with you.”

A single tear silently rolled down your cheek and you hadn’t even realised that Lando was frozen in place, watching his world crumbling in around him. He wished he had the right words, prayed to a higher power to give him the words that would ease your mind and forget about the future until you realised you couldn’t live without him. But he wasn’t that lucky, not today, not ever – he just had to hold his ground and fight.

“I know that you’ve been in more relationships than me and I know that you’ve been fucked over more times than you deserve. One is too many since you are the single most beautiful person I have ever met.” Lando’s voice was low and faltering as he spoke, tears now prickling the corners of his eyes.

“But I want those things with you, maybe not right now but I see a future with you – I really fucking do. And I’ve tried to be that guy for you every single day since the moment we met but you haven’t let me. I want to be the guy you call in the middle of the night when you can't sleep – someone you can rely on. I’ll be the man you need me to be, I swear. Give me a chance to show you.”

Silence filled the dark room, distant sirens outside your window took some of the edge off but the tension was thick – suffocating as you threw the duvet off your legs, suddenly feeling like your chest was on fire, flushed red. You blinked a couple of times before burying your head in your hands, raking fingers through your tangled hair. There were no more tears, just unfiltered emotion running rampant in your mind, weighing up everything that had been said – figuring out where that left you. But like in the weeks leading up to this moment, you found yourself back at the same place every time. Broken.

And nothing could change the way you feel.

“Your future is my present, Lando. And I hate this – I don’t want this to be the end but I don’t have time and you have so much living left to do. I know that you can’t see that now but I promise you that I’m right. I promise you that you will forget about me and find someone worthy of your love, someone who can wait for you to be ready for all the things you want out of life – someone to share the journey with because I’ve missed all of that and if I could turn the clock back and start again with you, I would do it in a heartbeat because you are so much more than I could’ve ever asked for. But life is cruel and I can’t take those years away from you, I can't.”

There was an eerily long pause before Lando spoke, time really feeling like the burden it had always been.

“You’re right – I don’t understand.”

You wanted to shake him, make him believe your words more than anything but you remembered what you would’ve thought at twenty-three. Wide eyed and naïve, hearing the person you loved telling you that your feelings weren’t real and you hated to think that he would resent you for all of this; but of course he would. Why wouldn’t he?

“But it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” Not yet, you thought.

“I know it doesn’t,” You barely whispered as Lando stood up to pull on his boxer briefs from the floor, feeling vulnerable and exposed, physically and emotionally.

“Do you want me to go?” He asked, solemn and quiet. Eyes hooded with fatigue as he gazed down at you in bed, arms limp at his sides while he waited for your answer; bated breath rushing through his lungs, heartbeat pounding in his ears.

You shook your head and gently patted the spot he’d left beside you. It was barely warm as your fingertips brushed over the white sheet, a subtle reminder of what it would feel like without him there, out of your life. Maybe it was immoral to tempt him back into your bed and it was definitely wrong to let him kiss you, to touch you, to make love to you until the sun came up. But the way he stared into your soul as he rested his weary head on your pillow, eyes pleading with you for one last memory together, you couldn’t refuse him that. You couldn’t deny him the closure he needed, if that was even something you could give.

One of the several alarms on your phone jolted you awake, the jingle making your stomach flip as you reached over and silenced it with a huff. Your head was thumping, eyes sealed shut with sleep, mind numbed and an ache between your thighs that reminded you of the events that transpired last night. You could be easily forgiven for the pang of regret coursing through your body as you remembered the words that were said in the heat of the moment. For pushing away the only good thing in your life at present.

A cold shiver travelling down your spine sent you on a mission to find that good thing, your hand reaching for the warm body you’d become so accustomed to feeling beside you.

But when you turned over, he wasn’t there – his side was cold, wrinkled. Empty.

You sat up in disbelief, eyes searching the room for any signs of life besides you. Lando? You called out and wrapped yourself up in a robe, thinking that maybe he was downstairs making a cup of tea or watching TV. For some reason, you hadn’t even considered the obvious as you walked around your apartment, looking in the kitchen and the courtyard, phone in your hand.

Maybe the harsh reality was too hard to stomach, too hard to comprehend. In hindsight it didn't seem that unbelievable, that for Lando, waking up next to you knowing it would probably be the last time he ever saw you was a painful memory he would rather not have locked away in his subconscious for the rest of his life.

And once reality hit, you stopped in your tracks. Stood still in your cold, lonely apartment once again. Tears streamed down your face when you came to grips with your own self-inflicted pain. Lando was gone. You knew it was for the best, better for both of you and in time that would become clearer; easier to bear. But what killed you the most was that there was no way of knowing if he was happier now than he was with you because you never heard from him again. Not a knock on your door, not even a drunken text. And you deserved that. You had no right to his life from that day on.

But all of the late nights, the stories, the deep, dark secrets and the whispered sweet nothings you had shared together haunted you for years, even after you married the love of your life.

Forever left wondering, what could’ve been?

a/n - i promise that i'll do happier lando fics in the near future but i hope you enjoyed this series and thank you again for all the support on it x lots of love! thoughts? feelings? i wanna know all of them! or click here for more of my writing if you liked this x

#lando norris #lando norris fanfic #lando norris imagine #lando norris smut #lando norris one shot #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #formula 1 one shot #formula 1 #f1 one shot #f1 x reader #monzamashmasterlist #what could've been fic

466 notes · View notes

soupthatistohot · 8 months

Text

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Chapter 1

Absurdism is a philosophy that contends that life is inherently meaningless and that the only way to create meaning is through the act of revolt against life’s absurdities.

(For a more in-depth explanation: What is absurdism/the philosophy of the absurd?)

Right off the bat, Atsushi assumes the role of our absurdist protagonist by refusing to die despite his seemingly hopeless situation.

Atsushi is an orphan who has just been kicked out of his orphanage, he’s starving, and yet refuses to steal and cannot get a job. Even so, he has this steadfast determination to keep on living, if only to spite those who spurned and abused him. He’s already got that spirit of rebellion in him!

And so he does ultimately resolve to steal from the next person he sees… but then he finds Dazai floating in the river.

It’s a funny contrast we get here. We’ve just had Atsushi declare his intention to keep on living, and then he saves Dazai, who is salty that his suicide attempt has just been interfered with. Immediately, there’s a dichotomy here between a person who wants to live and one who wants to die.

I won’t get too into it here because it's bound to come up again, but absurdists view suicide as a cop-out, basically. If the whole point of absurdism is to rebel and revolt, choosing to take your own life is the opposite of that, it’s giving up. In this moment, Dazai represents a different response to absurdity, suicide. I will also mention here that there is a third response to the absurd, and this is what the average civilian in BSD likely does: accept absurdity and just live with it. Rather than rebelling, they do nothing, and simply let meaninglessness control them.

Anyway, after Dazai’s rescue, we are introduced to Kunikida and his ideals. His ideals are a form of absurdist revolt, in a way, and while I’ll explore this more deeply in future chapters where it's more relevant, I did want to bring it up as we establish characters during their introductions. Essentially, Kunikida’s ideals are the guide to how he navigates the absurd world and lives his life, and contrary to popular belief, he is not some goody-two-shoes who constantly panders to rules and authority, he has an acute sense of justice that he’ll adhere to no matter what. That is his way of fighting against the absurdity of the modern world.

The ADA is neither government nor criminal, they kind of live in their own gray area and their job is basically to handle the most absurd situations (i.e. a man-eating tiger on the loose). I think the ADA being the “dusk” is a really important concept not only for BSD’s ongoing theme of moral grayness but also for this idea of absurdity. The BSD universe is so insane that the government and police, who are supposed to be society’s ultimate protectors, cannot handle it alone — there has to be a specialized group of individuals to do so.

After this, Atsushi agrees to become bait for the tiger, still unaware of his own special ability, he wallows in self-pity while he waits with Dazai, and then Dazai nullifies his ability once he transforms. Kunikida and some other ADA members show up, and when asked what they’ll do with him, Dazai decides to hire Atsushi.

Note: I love how Ranpo is grinning here while the others are like "wtf?"

You catch an insecure orphan kid with an extremely dangerous ability he has no control over, and decide to hire him? It seems to make no sense, especially since the ADA is introduced as this super-specialized unit of incredibly powerful individuals who do serious and important work.

But, as we know, this works out amazingly for both Atsushi and the agency.

Dazai’s decision to hire Atsushi was his way of embracing the absurd, which is a common theme within stories with absurdist themes. Because what are the other options here? They turn Atsushi over to the police and he’s imprisoned for the rest of his life on account of his dangerous ability? They just kill Atsushi because of said danger? Both of those options have little bearing on Dazai or the agency in the end, and we’re well aware that Dazai isn’t exactly an empath, and yet he chooses the seemingly worst option for the agency, which is to take on this clueless kid.

We’re treading into Dark Era territory here, but I do want to talk about it because it’s not included in the manga. So, I think it’s also really worth noting that this decision directly ties in with Dazai’s goal to live up to his promise to Oda. At this point in the story, we wouldn’t know this, but Oda explicitly told him to “help out some orphans” when advising him to do good. Overall, what Oda tells him to do is to become an absurdist and search for the beauty in life by fighting against its meaninglessness, rather than giving in through suicide or perpetuating violence in the Port Mafia.

Anyway, that’s the end of chapter 1 of BSD! It sets up a lot in terms of absurdist storytelling, from the characters to the world they inhabit. Future chapter analyses might not take up an entire post on their own like this depending on the chapter’s content, but for the first one, I felt it was important to establish the characters and setting within the absurdist context.

I also have absolutely no plan or schedule for posting these, I’m mostly doing it for my own enrichment because I genuinely get a lot of fulfillment from merging two of my interests together like this. I will continue to read manga like this in my free time and make these posts until I catch up with the present, and that might take a while since there are currently 110 chapters to get through. Additionally, I will absolutely still continue to do my absurdist analyses when chapters come out, especially since it’s so prudent to the plot of the current arc, so look out for those, too!

Thanks for reading and please feel free to reply and/or send asks about these posts, I love engaging in discussions about this stuff and I’m sure there will be things I miss along the way!

[Next] [Masterpost]

#bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd manga #atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #armed detective agency #bsd chapter 1 #bsd 1 #bsd absurdism analysis #soup rants

164 notes · View notes

mageknight14 · 2 months

Text

Exploring the Parallels Between Our Favorite (and Only) Conductors

One thing I think is really cool about the Kitaniji and Shiba parallels is how they both idolized the Composers/Higher Plane members they were in contact with but take that idolization into different directions and how these are reflected in Neku and Rindo’s individual flaws.

First we have Kitaniji, who idolized Joshua and put him and his status as Composer on a pedestal, and thus, in an attempt to try and save Shibuya, conducted a plan to try and rob the city of its individuality and make it a hive mind to, in his view, appease the Composer. However, what Kitaniji failed to consider that what HE, as an individual, wanted was counterintuitive to what Joshua truly desired as shown by the rules/structure of the Shibuya Game and his various interactions with Neku throughout their week together.

Kitaniji acts in a way he presumes would please Joshua, thinking that initiating the human instrumentality project would be the thing to please him most when that's far from the truth, simply because he's unable to look past his ego. He thinks he understands Joshua best, despite not taking the time to actually get to know him (which sounds an awful lot like toxic idol culture) and only ends up projecting his own insecurities about human connection onto Joshua as desires that a god would share as well because hey, why would a god care about empathizing and connecting with people when they’re just so much better than them, right?

He failed to see Joshua for the flawed individual that he was as opposed to the almighty Composer and instead of trying to genuinely connect with him and perhaps convince him otherwise when it came to his plan to eradicate Shibuya, goes right into the brainwashing scheme, essentially doubling down on his flawed mindset. Kitaniji’s idolization makes him believe that he is something akin to a God as well; makes him feel closer to Joshua in a way. In short, Kitaniji’s idol worship is a conscious, agency-prone outcome mediated by the false relationship he has with Joshua.

Throughout the game, Kitaniji makes conscious (and unhealthy) decisions through his idolization of another person; he also believes he has a measure of personal agency and individuality that makes him more important than others, probably in part due to the "special relationship" he believes he has with Joshua (more idol worship toxicity) despite ironically being an empty individual and misinterpreting his intentions, which is what leads to his downfall. This in contrast to Neku, who due to his past trauma concerning his friend’s death, latches onto his flawed misinterpretation of his idol CAT’s words, only for CAT himself to set the record straight, causing Neku to realize throughout the game how he may have twisted his idol’s (Hanekoma) message to support his bias of isolation, and finally understand what CAT's words meant. This in turn is what allows Neku to finally get through to Joshua and convince him through his actions that Shibuya, and by extension humanity, can truly change for the better and gets him to spare the city. A happy ending that a Shibuya free of individuality wouldn’t have been able to achieve.

In NEO TWEWY, we have Shiba, someone who rises through the ranks of the Reaper hierarchy incredibly quickly and thus, became easy pickings for Kubo to try and manipulate to do his bidding; a man that has obtained so much power that he actually begins to idolize himself, thinking himself so strong and important that now he can whimsically make decisions about life and death, treat every situation as some kind of game, and judge people as he sees fit. Shiba only thinks himself as holding such an important role, which really belongs to Kubo's because of Kubo setting things up in such a way that made it so that Shiba's newfound powers would fuck with his ability to rationalize. Kubo fed into Shiba’s ego and slowly nudged him into the direction of shutting out his loved ones, which then leads into a cycle of Shiba becoming worse and worse thanks to the influence of his powers/Kubo and the Shinjuku gang isolating themselves from him. He becomes convinced that what Kubo wants is what HE desires as well, even if that’s not truly the case deep down, and throws himself more and more into his work to accomplish that, which, of course, only adds onto the cycle I described above more and more.

What's interesting here is that Shiba doesn’t draw any implicit or explicit motivations from his relationship with Kubo; he’s just another guy to him. We can make the argument that Kubo as a character symbolizes a particular substrate of toxic idolizing in that he represents status, a constituent of success that Shiba clamors for in the hopes that he can idolize himself. However, with that being said, the relationship between Shiba and Kubo itself in the story has no bearing on the former’s personal drive the way Kitaniji’s relationship with Joshua does. Rather, what Shiba’s idolism represents is the corruption of one's sense of self when they fall too deep into the cesspool of influencer stardom/corporate corruption; the overinflation of ego that becomes a malicious byproduct of commanding such an effect over large numbers of people.

If you remember, Shiba initially started off in Shinjuku promising change and a better lifestyle for his fellow Reapers, which they clearly took to heart and gladly followed after him, speaking volumes about his charisma. But then when he got a taste of his newfound power after the conclusion of the Shinjuku revolt, he became more and more detached from the people and found himself sinking into the singularity of his own self-indulgence.

This can be considered an almost 1-to-1 parallel with influencer behavior and in a way, Shiba is kind of what Motoi was hoping he'd be before he found some clarity by actually having to look into the face of the fan he was nonchalantly treating as a pawn to stardom and came to realize just how damaging his actions were overall.

In contrast to Shiba, we have Rindo, who also has the flaw of internalizing someone else’s thoughts and opinions as his own, something that gets repeatedly shown off in his interactions with Swallow and Motoi/an0ther. Hell, it gets to the point that Sumio, Motoi’s second-in-command, is able to play on Rindo’s need for validation from his idol and trick him into helping him (I love how Beat in the last pic here sighs in his sprites because he knows that Rindo fell for it, hook, line, and sinker)

However, what truly cements the parallel here is this convo Shiba has with Tsugumi in the Last Day Intervention.

Shiba here basically flat out admits that he was afraid of having to face the consequences of his decisions. Of having to own up to the fact that his self-destructive actions were causing harm to himself and others and so, in an effort to try and suppress that feeling of insecurity, he saw it fit to run away from the warning signs and trap himself in his own self-isolating bubble in order to avoid taking responsibility.

Now, who does that remind you of?

Now, at first glance, this comparison might seem like a stretch, but there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, let's think back on what Nagi said about Shiba at the end of W3D3 after Kanon's erasure.

When we reflect on what Nagi said, you start to realize that the majority of Shiba's actions throughout the third week was due to his feelings of anger and hurt following what he feels is a personal betrayal from the people he cares about the most and how he then takes out that anger on the people below him. First there's his calling out Shoka personally out of anger of a mix of betraying him and the others by switching to Rindo's group and blaming her for HIS encouraging Ayano to take drastic measures such as personally infecting herself with the Plague in order to try and get Shoka to come back.

Which then leads into the next day where Shiba, out of anger concerning Ayano's erasure, sends out more Plague Noise to target the remaining teams so that they can feel the grief he's currently going through, which ends with Kanon, the Twisters' most supportive ally, getting caught in the crossfire and subsequently erased, which Nagi's analysis on Shiba alludes to when she comments on his wrathful energy in the morning announcment.

Combine this with him sending out Plague Noise that take on phantom images of the Twisters' failures and traumas and him getting so pissed at Susukichi betraying him in a previous timeline on W3D6 that he causes the Inversion a day earlier than intended and you get the sense that Shiba is lashing out at the others for what he views to be their fault, while never reflecting on his own fault on the matter due to a combination of the Dissonance affecting him so deeply and his refusal to see just how much he's hurting the people he cares about the most.

Much like how Rindo tends to lash out at others whenever he feels pressured to make a decision or face the possibility of having to take responsibility of his actions, Shiba's actions can be considered an example of what can happen if that flaw was taken to its worst possible conclusion. Both Rindo and Shiba are afraid of having to face the consequences of their actions and try to avoid facing them by either pawning off responsibility off of someone else or just outright tuning out the warning signs altogether. They put the people around them at arm's lengths, often taking them for granted, and become paranoid around others out of fear what will happen to them if they get too close. However, Rindo eventually starts becoming more savvy to his idol’s intentions and actively seeks out the truth about him, resulting in him breaking away from Motoi’s influence and slowly becoming more assured in himself and his decisions. He becomes more aware of his friends' struggles and will often try to do right by them (as shown with his talks with Shoka and the contrast between his and Fret's conversations at the beginning and end of the game). This is shown off in two ways, with Rindo and Shiba's confrontation at the end of W2D7 and W3D7 being flipped to have Rindo and Shiba trading places to show who’s on top, Shiba utterly alone in contrast to Rindo being surrounded by others, the Wicked Twisters dominating the screen while Shiba can only shrink back in defeat and Shiba being invisible in the Crossing (despite being surrounded by all those people) while Rindo is literally embedded in an ever-expanding Social Network.

By the end, Rindo actively takes accountability for his actions and achieves the happy ending he strives for, even helping with bringing Shiba back to his senses. Shiba on the other hand, once his influential power gets to his heart, begins to devalue the significance of the wants, needs, and individuality of the people who followed him fervently, and it's not until he gets his ass kicked and then is forced to face his number one fan/the person he cares about most, Hishima (another parallel with Rindo and Motoi), does he come to terms with how his actions have affected people he cares about, and is able to break out of his own self-idolizing and begin his path towards reformation, taking responsibility for his actions much in the same way that Rindo himself does.

To recap, Kitaniji becomes convinced that what he’s doing is what JOSHUA wants while Shiba becomes convinced that what KUBO wants is what he actually desires when that’s really not the case and I find these parallels to be incredibly fascinating. Kitaniji and Shiba are considered to be the ideal of what a Reaper should be in their respective cities and what's especially interesting is how while the values each game tries to instill does have merit when applied to our lives, they also show off the downsides of what those values can have if you're not especially careful.

On one end, you have Kitaniji, who is the "ideal" of a Shibuya Reaper. Highly unique and imaginative, has a very strong sense of self and sense of identity. Is an individualist but is also very isolated as a result. Tellingly, when Joshua starts to force his hand and basically tells him to come up with a way to save the city or get fucked, Kitaniji starts going down a dark path and tries to rob the citizens of Shibuya of their individuality in order to save the city from becoming destroyed, unknowingly increasing its countdown to its inevitable destruction and became twisted into a raving madman that insists that he’s saving humanity and is shepherding them into a new ideal utopia.

By contrast, when you take a look at the flashbacks and how the others speak about him before he got his new powers, Shiba is shown an be incredibly charismatic individual and this goes hand in hand with his role as the most powerful of the Shinjuku Reapers. His leadership and connections are his strength. He’s a social butterfly (his Noise powers and pendant are themed for a reason) and is considered the ideal of a Shinjuku Reaper. However, thanks to his new powers getting to his head, he’s pushed away all of his remaining allies and now has just about no one but himself, the emotional isolation being incredibly damaging to both himself and the people he cares about .Susukichi, Rindo, and Neku even talk about this, speculating about how he must be lonely and how his new powers most likely contributed to this.

Both TWEWY games can be read as a cautionary tale of idolism; of influencer status; of becoming so disillusioned that you either close yourself off to others or deem yourself so important that other people matter far less. Last but not least, they emphasize the importance of being accountable for one's own self, especially in a society of influencers because at the end of the day, it's important that you believe in your own views and can uphold them responsibly; it's important to not blindly follow others, especially if your self-worth hinges on it and ESPECIALLY if they become like Shiba or Kitaniji.

#twewy #the world ends with you #neo the world ends with you #neo twewy #ntwewy #rindo kanade #neku sakuraba #yoshiya kiryu #megumi kitaniji #shiba miyakaze #analysis post

65 notes · View notes