#i made him far too wide. i am going to say it was an artistic decision

[strobbylemonade]

30 minute pou study

#i made him far too wide. i am going to say it was an artistic decision #strbylmn art #pou

[ddollfface]

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺!𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

Trigger Warnings; bad writing, lovesick behavior, reader is called 'my girl' multiple times, reader is described as more 'curvy' (in LoveSick!Bimbo's specifically), fluffy, nothing too bad. If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ Hey, I'm sorry I've been so absent recently, but that's just because of personal issues. And I'd also like to say that I'm not going to be the most active writer on the app, sooo um sorry 'bout that. I'm just not very motivated to really do anything, so yeah. I hope ya'll enjoy :)))

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𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝘼𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚

All of the Above. Any way he can show you affection, he will. Nothing is holding him back from hugging you, kissing you, or holding your hand. He has no fear. I mean, what are you going to do? Push him away? Yeah, right. And this is when his ego gets in the way. He can't comprehend why you wouldn't want to touch him, besides, he wants to touch you! He wants to love you, hold you, and protect you! Why wouldn't you want that?

He also enjoys buying you things. Whether it be a fancy dress, some makeup, paint, hell, it can even be a football or something! He doesn't judge (though he'd prefer you to be pliant, little you, someone he can protect). If you need something, whether it be for classes, a hobby, or anything of the sort, he'll pay for it! First date? Nope, don't even reach into your bag; he's got you! Want a coffee/tea/etc.? Babe, I better not see your card out right now. Who do you think I am? A bum? I take care of my girl.

He likes spending time with you, too. You're practically his best friend, after all! He likes to bring you to his practices, and games, wanting you to watch him. The majority of the time, whenever you're there, he'll purposefully show off, wanting you to know that he's husband material! He can protect you and your future children, don't worry! Just let him take care of you!

But he'll also come to any events you're a part of. Say you do theater, he's coming to every performance, the same if you do any performing art. If you do a sport (he'd be ecstatic btw), then he's coming to your practices, teaching different tips and tricks, and most importantly, he's giving you a "good luck kiss" (as he likes to call them). And if you're an artist or some sort, then he'll offer to be a model for you. He's not afraid to strip if it's for you. No matter how far you two are in the relationship, there's no hesitation in his voice when he looks at you, snarkily saying, C'mon sweets, paint me like I'm one of your French girls, yeah?

His affection doesn't stop there. I've dabbled in this concept before, but LoveSick!Athlete also loves to call you nicknames, and they're never-ending. He'll think of a new one for you every day! Honestly, it's interesting to see what he'll think of next. He has a wide variety and they span from how pretty you are, to your ass, and back to your sweet personality!

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙋𝙤𝙚𝙩

Gift Giving. LoveSick!Poet is far too nervous to talk to you. He'd shit himself if he ever called you something sweet like 'baby' or 'sweetheart', he thinks that his heart would implode. That's far too much for him. You're too much for him, too good to him, so he resorts to giving, giving, giving. He'll sneak you little poems he made about you, all flustered when you compliment his writing, how good he is. He'll get you a bouquet of flowers, all purple lilacs. LoveSick!Poet will go down to the nearest bakery, your favorite bakery, and leave you a small box of conchas, a sticky note stuck to the top of the box. It read 'I love your dress today, it looks beautiful on you :)'. He's so sweet, isn't he?

Quality Time. Similar to gift giving, it's a way for him to be affectionate without facing you. LoveSick!Poet doesn't have the best image of himself, finding your relationship with him to be a miracle, something to be worshiped, and admired. You want to go to the mall? Okay, he's on his way. Want to go out to eat? Where? When? He'll be there, but bare with him. He's not the most well-off man in New York, money's tight, right? And don't get him wrong, he feels bad. He'll constantly tell you so, going on about how he really wants to take care of you. And I'm sorry that I can't take you to the East Side, and we're stuck at the small cafe... I want to treat you, you really deserve the best, d-darling...

He just enjoys your presence overall, so any time he spends with you is a good time for him. LoveSick!Poet doesn't mind just sitting in silence, watching you do what you love. If you work at a cafe, restaurant, or anything of the sort, he'll show up to your work and just watch you do your thing. Depending on how you take his constant staring, he'll ask you for your number or how you're doing. He'll order something and have some, albeit awkward, small talk with you, wanting to know that you're doing well.

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝘽𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙤

Physical Affection. LoveSick!Bimbo is very, very, very affectionate with most people, but it's doubled whenever she's around you. Honestly, she can't help herself. She has to be touching you at some point. She just finds you to be so adorable! She wants to show her appreciation for you and your body! Of course, she'll always let you cop a feel, if you want.

She wants to have a hand on your thigh, intertwine your fingers, and even hug you. She'll always have her chest pressed against your arm, not matter you height. And believe me, she's a tall girl, but she doesn't seem to mind the stares you get from men and some women.

Verbal Affection. Not only is she physically affectionate, but she's also very sweet with her words. No matter what time of day it is, or where she is, she'll always be calling you some sweet name. She likes to compliment you and your body, making sure you're never feeling insecure. After all, she can't have her darling feeling bad about themselves when they look like that! You're always beautiful and she'll make sure you know it. She can't help but let compliments slip out, saying how your body is just so perfect! You're literally like my missing puzzle piece, babes! Like what would I do without ya' curves!!

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙁𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙

Verbal Affection. Now, she's not complimenting you constantly (like LoveSick!Athlete and LoveSick!Bimbo), but she does give you affirmations. If you did well on a test, then she'll tell you how you're so smart. I'm just so lucky I got stuck with a sweet girl like you. You make me so proud.

She'll never hold back saying 'I love you', nope, never. She's very caring in that sense, seeing as you've been friends for so long. She knows what you like, after watching you and your exes interact. LoveSick!Friend isn't afraid to pat your head and kiss you on the cheek, but it's not her go-to, y'know? So she always falls back on giving you assurance, that way you'll never doubt yourself. You're doing so great, babe. Just keep doing what you're doing, I'm here to help.

Acts of Service. LoveSick!Friend washes the dishes, does the laundry, and cooks the dinners. If you're ever feeling under the weather, then she'll become your little servant, always at your beck and call. She just wants you to be taken care of. She wants you to know that she's always going to be there for you, and you don't need some man to be here. All you need is her, so you should just delete that dating app, no?

𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙎𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩

Verbal Affection. LoveSick!Artist is sweet with his words, knowing just what to say to get you all flustered and embarrassed. His voice is deep, soft, and comforting. He'll give you reassurance and soft words, speaking softly to you. He doesn't call you pet names too often, though he'll sometimes pull out 'sweets' or 'baby' if he's feeling extra nice that day. Most of the time, he prefers to use your name, finding it to be comforting. He likes your name, pleased by how the syllables roll off his tongue. It's the name for you, he prefers that you use his given name, instead of 'babe' or 'bubba'. It makes him feel closer to you and he'll tell you that. He'll go on about how, y'know, you're voice is real sweet, just prefer hearin' ya' say my name all the time. Makes a guy all giddy inside.

Gift giving. He likes to draw you, a lot. Whenever you pop into his mind, which is every waking second, he'll draw you, having to express his thoughts somehow. Sometimes, he'll have you right in front of him, modeling for him.

He likes to give you these drawings, well, only the PG ones. After all, he doesn't think you'd be able to handle it, getting too flustered and overwhelmed by how detailed he can get. But that's not the point, the point is that he likes to draw you, and for you. He draws the world around him and then gives it to you, wanting to share his talent with you. And you're always excited about it, enjoying your boy/friend's (depending on the timeline) talent.

Quality Time. Listen, LoveSick!Artist is very monotone, preferring to be calm, and by himself. He doesn't like parties, being in big groups, or loud music. He just wants to be with his close friends, you. It doesn't have to be a shared activity, where the two of you are talking. Actually, he prefers to do his own thing, and you do yours, just the both of you enjoying each other's presence. He'll be painting and you'll be doing homework, cleaning, reading, writing, whatever. He doesn't care too much.

It's like that one friend, the one where you can not talk for months and months, but when you two reunite, you're acting as if nothing changed. That's exactly how he treats your relationship. He doesn't need to be with you 24/7, if anything, he prefers to have some alone time.

Now, for this last part, I'm not too sure what category this would be under, but LoveSick!Artist is quite built, meaning he works out a lot. He's very strong. And he gives off scary dog privileges, much to your content. He enjoys protecting you, holding you close, and making sure no man is giving you any funny looks.

I think that may be described as physical affection, but it still doesn't feel right to me. LoveSick!Artist isn't necessarily the most touchy person, seeing as he likes to keep to himself, but that won't stop him from getting possessive. He's very, very, very aggressive towards other men, especially when you're involved. He already doesn't trust men, but when he sees the way they look at you, it causes him to spiral. Out of all my LoveSick!Characters, I think that LoveSick!Artist is the most likely to kill in your name. C'mon don't be like that, did ya' see how he was looking at you? Like a piece of meat, is what.

#𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙥𝙤𝙚𝙩 #𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡'𝙨 𝙮𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚'𝙨 #𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙚 #𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 #𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙗𝙞𝙢𝙗𝙤 #lovesick!poet x reader #bad writing #lovesick #yandere oc #yandere oc x you #yandere male #yandere x reader #yandere x you #x reader #obsessive love #yan blog #wlw #fluffy #fluff headcanons #i'm so sorry guys #𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙨𝙞𝙘𝙠!𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩

[slutforalastor]

Say It With A Smile, Part 2

You remain a few steps behind the tall demon, humming a jazzy tune to himself as he leads the way to your quarters. "This hotel has undergone quite the renovation recently, you know."

You'd heard that the Princess of Hell had united the Cannibal Town under her banner and fended off the Exterminatus. You're a recent enough addition that it was to be your first one, but this hotel seemed like the best possible insurance against all future purges, if there ever would be more.

"Along this hall you can see the personalized areas of our guests," he gestures, pointing to a door decorated with a luminescent spider's web, the one right down from it painted with red bombs. A blank door, a deep burgundy to match the decor, is where the demon stops. "We go through great pains to make sure every guest feels welcome and secure," he continues. "Why don't you tell me a little bit about what you liked in your previous life, something to make you feel comfortable in your private space?"

You don't have much to say. You lived a fairly typical life, full of abandoned interests and failed starts. You worked your job, tried to ignore the fact that you had less and less of your time and money available to you with every passing year, and promised yourself that eventually, you'd find that buried passion. Somehow.

Alastor doesn't seem swayed at all. Ever smiling, he waves his staff, an aura surrounding him strongly enough for you to feel the vibrations. The door undergoes a change, bleaching from its deep red hue to an ethereally glowing white; everything from the trim to the doorknob becomes so without saturation you can only tell where it is thanks to depth perception. With a flourish, Alastor flings open to the door to your space.

The room is as white as the door. The only spatial certainties are the floor, the ceiling, and the walls. Lining them are a variety of diversions, everything from an artist's easel to a rack of musical instruments to a writing desk, all the same ghostly white. A thick haze, too firm to be smoke and too malleable to be a gas, drifts through the room.

"This is a very special something," he almost sings, animatedly shaping the haze with delicate movements of his clawed fingers. Like clay, it slowly takes shape, gathering focus until it is discernible; a tiny miniature of a buck, its chin slightly raised, its antlers full and imposing. "All one has to do is clearly concentrate on what shape they want it to take, and with some coercion, it becomes so."

You are enthralled, perhaps a little too so. You'd only seen a glimpse of the thing he'd made; your attention was far more focused on the demon himself, that confident smirk never wavering with all that he had done. This power was more than you'd thought possible, more you could have dreamt, even. And he wasn't even royalty. He notices your gaze is wandering, and his wide, red eyes find your stare. Your heart skips a beat when they catch you, and for a moment, you feel frozen. Like an animal in a trap.

He raises an eyebrow, having a little giggle to himself at your expense. "Goodness me. I suppose I should tell you, little fawn, these ears aren't just for show. I can pick up on any little change in a body like yours, and that little skip is no exception. Am I making you nervous?"

"Maybe a little."

He laughs again, giving you a smirk. "I shouldn't laugh, it's unbecoming, but it has been a while since someone has given me the credit I'm due. I like you, little fawn," he placates you, giving your head a brief pat. "Now, as hotel director, I stay quite busy, but if you should have need of anything, feel free to visit my radio tower. It's pretty hard to miss," and he guffaws at that, delighted by his own reference. He leaves you to your blank slate, and for a while you occupy yourself making your room some semblance of comfort, shaping a bed to your liking, a few important pieces of furniture, and creating a window in the wall, offering a vista you know could never be seen in Hell.

You're partway through focusing intense colors into your furniture when your stomach looses a protesting roar that reminds you that even the dead have to eat. You find that thinking of food changed the color you'd been focusing on, a gradient from pastel yellow to bread-crust brown formed on the vase you'd made a place for on a table. Ah, well, it gives it character.

You make your way out to the hall, in search of nourishment.

----

Also on AO3! | Part 1

#alastor x you #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #the radio demon #radio demon x reader #hazbin hotel #the smut is coming slow but it's coming #there's still time to bail out

[gillianthecat]

Kind of Like Liveblogging: Pit Babe

* Thank you for listening to me, Pit Babe, and giving at least a hint of Charlie and Babe conspiring. I still have no idea what their plot is, but I feel more confident we'll find out in a timely manner (and what little they say could arguably fit my revenge-on-Tony theory).

* Pete & Way!! I'm so excited.

* yes. This interaction was so good. So sexy. I love all of Way's smiles, including his melancholy ones. I love how they hardly even look at each other. I feel like good scenes of hitting on someone in bars are rare in BL. I like how grown up this one feels. (Subtitles were slightly confusing though, was Pete trying to imply that he was or that he wasn't hitting on Way?) I can't wait to see where these two go.

* Oh there's more of them!

* Oh, I am all in on PeteWay. That's it, cancel everything else, I just want to follow their story. I was excited about this pairing, but I didn't expect it to be this good. The way Pete just looks at him. They way he leaned his head on the sofa as Way clutched at his hand. The note! "If you need a drinking buddy..." This is melancholy and grownup in a way that is catnip for me. And the actors are adult enough to handle it.

* Kim! *happy little wiggle dance* So far this episode is tailer-made for me. He's so effortlessly powerful. Winner keeps getting brattier and brattier, hoping each time he can finally push Kim into holding him down and fucking him into submission.

* Plot tidbits revealed. I guess Tony is trying to kidnap or otherwise possess Babe so he can sell him to someone? I'm assuming for his special alpha senses? And it looks like he just fired Kim, although the subtitles were confusing.

* Someone in the tags mentioned a possible KimKenta pairing and god I hope we get it. When Tony mentioned punishing Kenta I had a beautiful vision of him whipping Kenta in front of Ken, setting off their omegaverse darkfic journey to love and healing through BDSM.

* Omg, it's the second coming of Kimlock Holmes! Bless.

* This show is starting to give me answers. It's like they read my wishlist. So Charlie is another of Tony's kids (as I guessed), Tony raises them to sell (not surprising), Charlie keeps secrets from Tony about Jeff (good, and could fit my theory). And that's all we learn cause Babe is too busy yelling and Charlie too busy gaping like a fish. Babe's reaction makes sense for the character, but since I already knew I want to move on and get some more information about the why of it all.

* But also Babe you are kinda dumb and have to get better at subterfuge. And uh oh, Tony sees them.

* And now a toothpaste commercial :-/ The product placement is often jarring. At least it's mainly a chance to stare at Way.

* Oh Babe, I'm so sorry. I think I find him the least interesting character, just because he's the most transparent and obvious about who he is and what he wants, but I sympathize with his heartbreak. You finally fell in love and it turns out (it seems like) it was all fake.

* Way used his special persuasive powers again, looking heartbroken and ambivalent about it all. It seems like he can't tolerate the man he loves hurting, and will resort to mind control to "fix" the feeling bad, instead of just holding his pain with him. Nut is really conveying that he believes he's helping Babe by manipulating his mind.

* When Babe grabbed Way's hand I was really expecting a rebound hookup that would simultaneously make Way's wildest dreams come true and ruin his life. And Babe's life too. At least for a few episodes. (But also it would be extremely hot.)

* I'm glad that now Charlie's secret is out we'll get to see more of his real self, whoever that is. Less creepy smiling for now (of which I approve).

* I'm not sure what I think of the use of the these distorting wide angle lenses. Part of it is I can't always tell if they're an artistic choice or just a practical solution to filming in close spaces. But they're also using lots of hand held camerawork and Dutch angles to create moods, so maybe it's intentional.

* The parallels to Pete and Way in the same exact positions on this sofa, with Way now in Pete's spot, looking at the beautiful, heartbroken boy!

* And now Charlie reveals what his plot had been! Apparently he found out that this unknown Alpha was in danger and decided to insinuate himself into his life in order to be a sort of bodyguard, and then genuinely falling in love with him. Which is fine, that's good, it fits all of Charlie's actions we've seen before, and makes their love story as easy as possible. It's minimum levels of betrayal. But it's kinda boring, no? It turns Charlie into a player in Babe's life, without his own goals. I would have preferred my theory of Charlie using Babe to somehow get revenge on Tony. It would make Charlie and his love much richer and more complicated.

* Unless of course Charlie is lying again about his intentions but I really don't think so. It's not that sort of show (I'm pretty sure), and I don't think think their relationship could survive that.

* Along with that reveal we also get more Tony's Alpha Farm lore. A breeding program! Details about enigmas that get confused by the subtitles. (I'm still unclear whether Babe or the enigma would be the one getting mpregnant. And since this is the mpreg racing car BL, that is the most crucial detail of all.) Alphas whose powers never develop, left abandoned in solitary confinement. And we finally learn Charlie's special skill, or rather that he doesn't have one. (Although I would not be at all surprised to find he develops a power just in time to save Babe from Tony in the big climactic showdown.)

* Who is the enigma Tony wants to breed with Babe? Is it someone we know (Winner perhaps? or Jeff? Jeff would make the most sense, for the emotionality and drama) or someone irrelevant offstage. I've decided my money is on Jeff.

* I'm not entirely clear why Tony didn't just kidnap Babe already. His airbnb mansion seems to have minimal security. I'm also unclear on what Charlie thought his presence was doing in terms of protection but either the answers will be revealed in time (I'm not holding my breath) or it's because It Makes the Plot Go (I'll accept it).

* Hmm, and Kenta is (almost definitely) lying to Tony about Charlie. That's good, I like Kenta (and still dream of KimKenta).

* So what's Way's deal? Is he also a runaway from Tony, or did he develop his powers on his own? I don't remember hearing anything either way. (I just had a horrible thought—what if he's Tony's mole and manipulating Babe because of that. But it doesn't fit the evidence so far so I'm hopeful this thought is wrong.)

* Ooohhhhhh. Charlie does have a secret special power after all, and it's Absorption, and he absorbed Babe's heightened senses through all that touching they did. (I appreciate the sex scene montage to remind us about all the touching they did.) AND the only way to transfer the power back is for Charlie to die! "I'm willing to die for you if you want, Babe," he claims! This is a complicated enough twist to satisfy me. Did Charlie do it on purpose? Did he know it was happening? He definitely never tried to stop touching Babe. Does he feel guilty? He doesn't look like he feels guilty. Is he really telling the complete truth? Is he evil after all, even if he's not working for Tony? Maybe he really is the Talented Mr. Ripley. I am Intrigued.

* I was worried when Charlie first arrived and was pleading for Babe's forgiveness, that his old submissive persona wasn't just a persona but who he actually was. Boring. But I should know by now to trust the show more about these sort of things. As soon as Babe accepted him, and settled enough to listen. Dominant Charlie came out, and submissive Babe fell right into line, without even realizing it. The casual authority in the way he told Babe to give him the whiskey glass, and Babe's instant compliance. Delicious. This is so obviously what their dynamic naturally is, and I'm glad the show isn't pretending otherwise.

* And the man who has staked his whole identity on being champion has lost the special powers that got him there. He says he doesn't need them, he can do without, but can he? Some beautiful angst is coming my way.

* The way Charlie slides his arms around Babe's waist is so... just slightly disturbing and I love it. I guess now that he's won he's rewarding(?) Babe by pretending to be all cute and submissive again, but you can't fool me, Charlie Dom.

* I do believe that Charlie genuinely loves Babe. Just that there are a lot of other things going on.

* Oh 😢 I got distracted and forgot about way, and now he's showing up to his dinner with Babe with red roses looking so hopeful. Oh sweetheart.

* Babe riding Charlie in his tiny convertible -> hot.

* But he forgot all about Way, who sat at that table with his roses for hours. The heartbreak on his face at Babe's text. You know what you need, Way? A drinking buddy.

* Of course Alan is the first one to say, we need to bring this evil man to justice and save all the kidnapped children. I love you Alan, you beautiful, kind hearted leader.

* Mostly the bad subtitles are annoying but inconsequential, but WHAT IS BABE SAYING ABOUT KIM?! Does he thing Kim is a danger to him and his crew, or does he think Kim is in danger from Tony? Because it makes a difference. I had assumed Babe realized Kim was on their side, but the translation is off and sometimes Babe's an idiot.

* Dumb and dumber are so oblivious. Who in their garage thinks Tony's a kindhearted guy? I thought they all hated him already. That was weird. (When are these two going to finally hook up? My bet is in the last half of the final episode, right before the coda with the main couples.)

* And as we all knew, it was Kim in danger from Tony. I had seen this screenshot in a post tagged Kim and Kenta, but I didn't look closely, and in my previous imaginings I was picturing Kenta as the one on his knees. But a captured Kim makes more sense plot wise. Kenta holds a knife to a kneeling Kim's throat, which is our second breadcrumb of the day, but this one has some weight to it. (And is delicious, though obviously in their actual dynamic Kim will be the dom. But this is a good starting point :-))

* And it ends! Noooo. I want to know what's next. Way needs to find his beautiful drinking buddy again!

* I'm not going to watch the previews because I like seeing each moment unfold as the happen. Although I'll probably end up spoiled by tumblr anyway. But I'm doing my best to minimize it.

* I like how this show devotes several scenes at a time to each relationship or event, rather than cutting back and forth between characters.

* Well that's it. I've officially fallen for this show. Especially now that all sorts of interesting things are getting revealed and complicated. I am actually a reader of omegaverse fanfic, because I love how the good ones explore gender roles and power dynamics in fascinating ways. And I think this show is doing at least a little of that.

* Oh no, we haven't seen Jeff since the opening scene! I'm worried about him. I think it's only been two and a half days in universe, but I feel like every other episode we got more of Jeff which is making me suspicious that something happened to him. He gave his ambiguous warning and then disappeared. Stay safe, Alan's nu.

#pit babe ep 7 #kind of like liveblogging #pit babe spoilers #only took me four hours to watch this #pit babe the series #pit babe

[psychedelic-ink]

Little Drummer Boy

**depictions of reader in this moodboard are not indicative of her size, race or ethnicity in the story

pairing: dieter bravo x bodyguard fem!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.3k

summary: Dieter wants the same nail art as you.

a/n: No smut??? I am absolutely flabbergasted with myself, new year new me I guess lmao Anyways, this little drabble is a part of the "we fall like snow" series but you can most definitely read it by itself. There's no names, plot or anything, just a soft moment between dieter and his bodyguard.

I really enjoy doing nail art and I did the same style as the one in the moodboard. Just as I was staring at them I thought about Dieter and how adorable it would be if he asked for the same design and viola! A drabble is born! Enjoy, xoxo

dividers made by the lovely @firefly-graphics

As you walk through set —looking for a missing Dieter— you stare down at your nails. You haven’t even put up your Christmas decorations yet but your nails were just beaming with Christmas Spirit. For your thumb, middle finger and pinky you’d done a red french tip. For the others you've done candy canes, doing the stripes had been a challenge since you still didn’t have a nail art brush, but even imperfect, you like how they look.

Nail art is one of your more recent hobbies. You’ve been an avid nail eater in the past but ever since you managed to stop chewing down on your nails —watching them grow in the process— you’ve been experiencing immense joy painting colorful shapes. They aren’t perfect, far from actually, but you still do it. Some people in the bodyguard industry frowned upon it. Saying that the colorful nails didn’t go with the image, but you simply argued that they lacked imagination. They aren’t long, so your nails being purple, orange or whatever shouldn’t cause any problems.

You find Dieter sitting at the curb cradling a paper coffee cup with both hands. For a brief moment you think about sitting next to him but then quickly decide against it. He needs to be ready in ten minutes. You sitting next to him would only add fuel to the fire of a busy film set.

“You are being summoned, Dieter.”

You had said it light heartedly since you weren’t a fan of how blankly he was staring into space. He slowly looks up, his eyes failing to recognize you. Just how much did he drink last night? Wanting to ground him, you place your hand on his shoulder in hopes that a gentle squeeze would wake him up from whatever trance he was in. Dieter blinks, his gaze softens as his pupils move up from your hand and to your wrist. With a sudden heat blaring at your fingertips, you pull away.

“I like your nails,” he says. “Very festive. I want mine to look like that too.”

Okay, he’s definitely still high as a plane.

You take a deep inhale and smile. There is only one thing to do in times like this; to abuse the reward system.

“I’ll make yours just like mine if you come with me and get ready for the next scene,” Dieter thinks for a moment, his lips stretch into a goofy grin that you can only describe as being the most adorable thing ever.

“That sounds fair.”

You really didn’t expect Dieter to whine until you invited him home to do his nails. You really hadn’t. Your genius plan of getting him to cooperate ended up blowing up in your face.

Now he sits eagerly, his one leg bouncing up and down as you bring out the supplies. Luckily you don’t need a lot for the design; red and white nail polish, a red marker used for painting porcelain cups and clear nail polish to end it with. Dieter’s eyes go wide, his grin stretching like the Cheshire cat. You fight the urge to smile but lose brutally, a wide smile of your own appearing on your lips.

“I never thought you would be this excited for this,”

“Why wouldn’t I be? I’m an artist you know,”

“I do,” you shrug as you sit across from him. “I don’t know, I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised.”

“So, which one do we start off with?” he asks excitedly.

You tell him the process with a smile. First you’ll do the red french tips —in which he said he would prefer it if you completely painted them red, you had no objections to his ask— then you explain how you’ll be doing the candy canes. You warn him that he needs to stay still for that part.

He suddenly stops bouncing his leg, his brows furrowing with intense concentration, he nods. You let out a chuckle and start doing his nails.

And he fucking giggles. You firmly hold his hand so he doesn’t move it.

“Why on earth are you giggling, Dieter?”

“It’s ticklish!”

“You’re joking right?” you look at him deadpanned. “They literally sweep your face with soft brushes all day and you practically fall asleep at the chair, and you’re telling me a brush to the nail is tickling you?”

“Yes,”

He’s dead fucking serious.

“Dieter…I don’t know how to tell you this but nails are literally like hair. You can’t feel with them. They’re dead cells.”

“Maybe I’m just special.”

You let out a laugh, putting the brush back in the nail polish, you prop your head up with your elbow.

“Even if that is true and you can feel it through your nails,” you say smiling. “I don’t really see how that makes you special,”

“I can do something that others can’t,”

“Fine then, I guess I can’t do your nails. Bummer.”

“Hey, why not?!”

“How can I do decent nail art if you keep on giggling?”

He sticks his bottom lip out. Your biggest weakness; his puppy dog eyes. You sigh, though it’s more playful than actually being fed up. With a smile you open your palm. Dieter eyes it suspiciously, like a stray taking food from a stranger for the first time. But then like every stray he comes closer, for him that means placing his hand on top of yours and averting his eyes, his pout still lingering on his plush lips.

“Good boy,” you say, teasing him.

He stammers over his words, crimson red crawling up from his neck and spreading to his cheeks. You grin as you press your thumb into his hand to hold him in place, you start to paint his nails. Soon Dieter starts to talk again. He tells you that he’s not a fan of the writing in this movie, and that his character is a pushover. He proceeds to explain that he enjoys subtlety in his films, even if he doesn’t always get every hidden message, he enjoys it far more from the writers metaphorically pointing to every detail like the viewers are idiots. Suddenly, the nail polish isn’t ticklish anymore. How convenient.

“Well sometimes they are,” you hum and pick up the white nail polish. Only the candy canes are left.

“That’s not an excuse. The writers, and directors, should force them to be smarter. Seriously, where’s the fun in watching something if they just hold your hand through every little thing. My character is literally explaining the entire plot, I hate it.”

“I agree with you but it’s just a couple of more weeks.”

“I guess…”

Silence follows, your brows knitting together with concentration, you proceed to do the candy cane’s. Dieter watches you with astonishment, your cheeks heat up as he leans closer, his breath moving the stands of your hair. You’re hyper aware of your close proximity. If you decide to look up right now, your lips would only be an inch away. The thought makes you swallow hard, you pray to every god you know that he doesn’t realize.

“You’re really good at this,” he says, amazed.

“I try my best.”

When it’s finally done you can’t help but admire your work. The red really suits him and the wide smile he’s giving you is making your heart flutter like a baby bird’s.

“You like it?” you ask despite knowing the answer.

“I love it,” he rolls his tongue over every word. “Thank you.”

“You do realize that the makeup crew is most certainly going to erase those tomorrow right? I don’t think your character enjoys Christmas themed nails,”

You said it as a joke but his smile instantly falls, a serious expression crossing his face.

“I’ll fight them.” he says, which makes you laugh.

Much to your surprise, Dieter actually does fight them the next day, hiding his hands and insisting that if anyone so much as comes near him with acetone he will walk off this production. It’s a bit dramatic, for sure, and you have to hide your giggle under your hand, ignoring the director who is giving you dirty looks.

In the end, it seems his character does enjoy Christmas themed nails after all.

#dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo #the bubble fic #the bubble fanfiction #the bubble x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal characters

[golvio]

I just recently replayed Wind Waker to get back into the Legend of Zelda spirit, and am now on a Ganondorf kick; what are your big Ganondorf Songs (aka songs that remind you a lot of him)? The only one I've really come across so far is "Waltz of Malice" by Kikuo

This one took me a little while to answer because it required me to go back through my archives a little to refresh my memory.

These are a couple of songs from my big ol' character playlist that I don't think I've specifically called out in my previous playlist posts. As with most character playlists, these don't always have a 1:1 meaning, but the general vibe matches how I interpret him.

Here are some, in no particular order:

Artificial Heart by Jonathan Coulton

Cleanse the Bloodlines by Unleash the Archers (Journey wide, they're spread across the land / they will hide, they know what I plan)

Kodokushi by Aesop Rock

Jumping Coffin by Aesop Rock

Draw by Elise Wattman

The Music Room by Raphael Benjamin Meyer

The Path to the Door by David Mason

The Laughingtrush by The Weather Factory (The Book of Hours demo has a lot of lovely tracks that I like to think could back Ganondorf going for a walk in the countryside)

Sun's Splendour by The Weather Factory ("Summer: Grail, with all her gifts")

What Now? by Mickymar Productions

Apollo and Marsyas: Overture by Mickymar Productions

Nemeses by Jonathan Coulton

I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor

Health Is A Currency by DEADLIFE

Belly of the Beast by Gazelle Twin

Mrs. Bluebeard by They Might Be Giants

River of Despair by Ridiculon

O Ruthless Great Divine Director by Lingua Ignota (Have they told you that I'll take you for everything you've got? / Ungoverned by any master / Unloved by any god / Have they told you that my tongue is alight with violet flame? / And every eye shall see me / Every voice shall speak my name)

Just Lingua Ignota in general, man, but particularly her album "Caligula," and "I Who Bend The Tall Grasses"

Tom the Diver by Petri Alanko

Wayward Sisters by Abel Korzeniowski

Come, Gentle Night by Abel Korzeniowski

"Vissi D'Arte" from Puccini's Tosca

The whole damn Lady Macbeth aria from Verdi's Macbeth, particularly "Vieni! T'affreta!" (I like to think this is what plays every time he picks some poor delicately-featured schmuck to be his lieutenant)

"Un bel di vedremo" from Puccini's Madama Butterfly (Waiting for that one dude who doesn't screw up and die horribly, because who says this guy can't have a sentimental side? Also, this is the aria they used as the backing track for "Don't Cry For Me, I'm Already Dead")

The Herminia Suite from Octopath Traveler

The Vide Suite from Octopath Traveler 2 (One of the few tenor performances that matched his vibe, to me)

Pillar of Souls by Sufjahn Stevens

A lot of Rammstein, particularly Ohne Dich, Mutter, Diamant, and a lot of stuff from "Reise Reise" and "Zeit"

The refrain from "Zick Zack," too. This is one of the songs where the lyrics/meaning as a whole doesn't really match him, but there's something of him in the idea of tearing yourself apart to put yourself back together in a shape you want. There was something about the way Cadence of Hyrule made it sound like his monster form was something he was actually actively pursuing since he was a little boy. I heard it a little bit in Beverly's monologue about her plastic surgeries (presented here as the ultimate culmination of her obsession with death and embalming, along with her cryogenic funeral parlor for celebrities) in the (admittedly NSFW-ish if your boss doesn't view life modeling and boob jokes as artistic) "Affairs of the Art." "You just gotta take control. It's your life. I mean, look at me! Check me out! I'm sculpting myself! My own body! I'm an exhibit, right? I'm a living gallery! My body is my art! Just go for it! What are you waiting for?" Here it's not the body as furniture for the patriarchy to judge as "valuable," but the body as a vehicle for pursuing one's dreams and obsessions, as Beverly came from a family of very likely autistic people who each devoted themselves to their life's passions, as eclectic and niche as they may be). It's like the principles of Moth and Forge, this wild yearning for transformation and the disciplined mettle and ingenuity to see it through, even if other people don't like the results and wish he'd change back into something more pretty or manageable.

This is about all I can muster for now, but I hope that's a good start and you find something you're looking for from it.

#ganondorf #loz thoughts #long post #music

[blueascend]

I finally watched the Cherry Magic movie the and while I am still recovering from the tidal wave of emotions, I felt inspired to write this! As far as canon and general vibes go, this is more in line with the show than the movie. CW for allusions to homophobia.

Tanabe Mizuki had never been good with secrets.

Although she didn’t actively gossip like she used to back in her high school and university days, keeping anything to herself was still a struggle. She tended to ramble when she got nervous and only think to filter her thoughts in hindsight - a habit that had gotten her in trouble more than once.

It had gotten others into trouble as well but Tanabe didn’t like to dwell on that. She was trying to do better.

Tanabe had gotten a reputation as a motormouth at her old workplace but she’d managed to avoid that the past couple of years at Toyokawa. It helped that most days, work kept her too busy to stand around and chatter. There also wasn’t much to gossip about, the occasional office romance or speculation about their coveted ace salesman, Kurosawa, aside.

Some days, Tanabe actually kind of wished she’d get the chance to gossip, just so she could turn it down. Just to prove to herself how much she’d matured.

When the chance came, she couldn’t help but think of that old saying: be careful what you wish for.

It was an ordinary day and Tanabe was walking down the hallway, on her way back to her desk, when she rounded the corner and quite literally ran into one of her coworkers. 

She managed to keep her balance but her coworker didn’t, falling over and sending papers flying everywhere.

“Ah, I’m sorry!” she said. “I didn’t see you!”

“It’s okay,” her coworker - she thought his name might be Adachi? - said, frantically gathering up the papers. “I wasn’t looking where I was going, either.”

Tanabe crouched down. “Here, let me help.”

“That’s okay, I don’t -”

The rest of Adachi’s sentence went unheard. Tanabe’s attention had been grabbed by the paper in her hands. It was data for Sajima Stationary but it wasn’t the text on it that caught her attention, but a doodle in the margins. 

It was a drawing of a handsome man. So beautifully drawn and detailed, was Tanabe’s first thought. Adachi was clearly a talented artist. Her second thought was that she recognized the man - it was undeniable a picture of Kurosawa! 

And it was surrounded by hearts.

The paper was snatched from her hand before she could examine it further. Tanabe looked up, wide-eyed in shock. Adachi stared back at her, expression frozen in panic.

Was he - did he have a crush on Kurosawa??

“I - it’s not,” Adachi stammered, “it’s not what it looks like!”

His face had gone pale and Tanabe was overwhelmed by a sudden feeling of protectiveness.

I must guard this secret at all cost.

She smiled, hoping that it came across as comforting. “It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone.”

Adachi straightened. “You - you won’t?”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Tanabe promised. 

After all, it was bad enough to suffer an unrequited crush on the office heartthrob. Adachi shouldn’t also have to worry about it getting out.

Over the next few days, Tanabe couldn’t help but keep an eye out for Adachi. Spying on your coworker wasn’t exactly mature behavior but it was at least a step above gossiping, and Tanabe had to at least satiate her own curiosity or she might explode from keeping such a big secret.

Unfortunately, the situation proved much more dire than Tanabe had first suspected. Adachi and Kurosawa weren’t just coworkers - they seemed to be actual friends. They ate lunch together almost every day and Kurosawa would frequently seek Adachi out at his desk, seemingly just for a friendly chat.

Poor Adachi. Pining over someone so close and yet so far out of reach. Worse yet, Kurosawa seemed completely oblivious to his friend’s feelings, always standing so close while they talked like he couldn’t see how flustered it made Adachi.

Maybe Tanabe should try and introduce Adachi to someone new, to help him get over Kurosawa. She didn’t know any other gay guys at the moment but surely they couldn’t be too hard to find. There were apps and bars for that sort of thing.

“You know you can talk to me about it,” Tanabe told Adachi once, when they were standing alone by the copier and out of earshot. “I’ve been in love with someone who couldn’t return my affection before, it was awful.”

“I’m not - that is, it’s not...” Adachi cleared his throat. “That’s very kind of you, but-”

“You don’t have to,” Tanabe interjected. “But just so you know.”

Adachi didn’t come to her to talk but that was alright, Tanabe had just wanted him to know he had the option. They weren’t actually friends and it wasn’t any of her business, even if she wanted to help. 

But she did want to help. It was a strong urge, growing stronger every time she witnessed Kurosawa do something to accidentally fluster Adachi. 

Which happened a lot. More, Tanabe was growing to suspect, than could be purely accidental.

But surely, she was wrong. Kurosawa seemed sweet, not like the type to maliciously tease someone who so clearly harbored serious feelings for him. Then again, that sweetness could just be a facade. Tanabe had known plenty of handsome men who thought their looks justified treating others poorly. 

A couple of weeks later, and she became certain. It happened far too often to be accidental; Kurosawa had to be teasing Adachi on purpose.

It was cruel. Tanabe had to do something about it.

As luck would have it, she spotted Kurosawa by himself in a conference room just a day after reaching this conclusion, going over some notes before a meeting. Glancing around the hallway to make sure no one was looking, she slipped into the room and closed the door behind her.

Kurosawa looked up at the sound of it, looking momentarily confused before giving her a polite smile. “Can I help you?”

Tanabe leaned against the door, feeling apprehensive now that she was in front of Kurosawa. She didn’t know how to approach this topic without compromising Adachi’s secret, on the off-chance that Kurosawa didn’t already know.

Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her mouth from opening up or words from spilling out. “You need to stop.”

Kurosawa blinked. “Pardon?”

“The way you act around Adachi Kiyoshi, it’s not appropriate.” 

“I - I see.” Kurosawa’s expression went flat. He stood up, stiffly fiddling with one of his cuff links as he seemed to think over his next words. “Not that it’s any of your business, but Adachi and I have been nothing but professional in the office.”

“There is nothing wrong with Adachi’s behavior,” Tanabe said defensively. “You’re the one acting unfairly.”

“Unfairly?” Kurosawa echoed. 

Playing dumb, as if he didn’t know exactly what she was talking about.

“It’s cruel! You shouldn’t tease someone who has feelings for you.”

Kurosawa’s eyes widened and Tanabe was suddenly struck with the realization that she might be wrong - that Kurosawa really didn’t know. In which case, she’d just outed Adachi to him.

Oh no. 

Not again.

“How did it go, Mizuki? Did he say yes?”

“He turned me down flat! Why didn’t anyone tell me he had a boyfriend before I made a fool of myself?”

“Eh?? He’s gay?”

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” Kurosawa said, shaking Tanabe from her unfortunate trip down memory lane. “I appreciate your concern for Adachi but you don’t have to be worried.”

Tanabe’s eyebrows furrowed. Now it was her turn to be confused. “I don’t?”

“You don’t.”

“But...” There was no way Adachi didn’t like Kurosawa, she’d seen the doodle. “But he - he likes you.”

“He does,” Kurosawa agreed. 

He was smiling now, that usual polite smile of his, but it struck Tanabe that there was something different about it in this moment. A sort of blissful glow, lighting it up from the inside. 

The final puzzle piece slid into place.

“You like him back,” she said. Kurosawa’s smile twitched and he tilted his head in a small nod. “Oh. That makes sense.”

She was so stupid.

"We've been dating for some months," he clarified. 

This was the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to her.

“I’m so sorry.” Tanabe bowed, fighting the urge to hide her face behind her hands and never emerge. “I can’t tell you how mortified I am.”

“It’s okay,” Kurosawa said kindly. “Your heart was in the right place.”

He was too nice for his own good.  How could Tanabe ever have suspected him of being deliberately cruel?

Kurosawa cleared his throat. “Just out of curiosity - how did you figure out Adachi had feelings for me?”

“I saw a picture he drew of you in the margins of one of his documents,” Tanabe admitted unthinkingly.

“Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean-”

“It was surrounded by little hearts.”

Kurosawa went still. He stared into the distance for a long moment, unblinking. “... Which document was it?”

Huh? What did that matter?

“I think it was data for Sajima Stationary.”

“Thank you,” Kurosawa said, bowing his head slightly. He grabbed his folder from the table, heading towards the exit and only pausing once he was at the door. “I - I hope I don’t have to ask you to keep this between us?”

Something settled in Tanabe’s chest, a wave of relief washing over her. Somehow, miraculously, she hadn’t screwed this up. She still had the chance to do the right thing.

“My lips are sealed,” she said.

Kurosawa smiled, real and dazzling this time. Tanabe couldn’t help but squint - it was like staring directly into the sun! 

“Thank you,” he repeated.

*

And then, later that day.

“Rokkaku? Could you ask Adachi to bring me over the data for Sajima Stationary?” 

“Eh, what for?”

“Just do it, please.”

#30sai made Dotei dato Mahotsukai ni Narerurashii #cherry magic #kurodachi #fanfic

[endlessbittersweetdreams]

"Broken & Beautiful" Chapter 3

     TIMELINE: Around the time of “Equifax & Experian” (S. 2, E. 2) and “Last of the Season” (S. 2, E. 3).

     NOTES: Due to the direction this chapter takes, Jake is not with Rosalynn. She does exist in this fanfic, though.

It’s funny, how easily a rumor can get started. It’s even funnier, how quickly the gossip can spread.

     Ever since that night in the alleyway, Jake has insisted on walking me home. I put up a fight for a while, informing him that I was perfectly capable of defending myself if the need should arise. Not only do I always carry pepper spray with me, but I am trained in self-defense. Still, he has remained as persistent as ever. I honestly never thought I’d meet someone who could outdo me as far as stubbornness is concerned. Jake has proven me wrong. It’s finally reached the point where I’ve given up on arguing with him. Besides, I do enjoy the company. Though I doubt I’ll ever let him know that. I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

     But back to the rumor.

     It all started when Jake found out, purely by accident, that I perform once a month at the bar that I live next to. While I mostly sing covers of songs originally performed by some of my favorite artists, I do sometimes perform my own material. He found this out when he noticed the notepad that I had left on my coffee table, opened to a page clearly marked SONG SETS FOR SATURDAY. He couldn’t leave well enough alone, and I had to explain to him that I do this for fun.

     I honestly thought that was the end of the discussion, but I was surprised when he showed up near the end of my set. I hadn’t noticed him until I made it to the bar for some water and he snuck up on me. I was mortified, to be honest. It’s easier to sing in front of strangers than it is to perform in front of people I know. I handled my embarrassment as gracefully as I could, but I couldn’t hide the blush that was coloring my cheeks.

     We chatted a bit until things became a little too rowdy in the bar. We wanted to continue our conversation, and so we ended up going to my place. It was completely innocent, and Jake didn’t even stay that late. But one of our co-workers just happened to walk by as Jake was leaving, and so the rumor began. Because goodness forbid said co-worker should simply talk to us. Nope! She leapt to the wrong conclusion: that Jake and I were sleeping together.

     The next day, the rumor quickly spread. Things became even worse for us when Howard called us into his office. Jake went in first and, going by his tight-lipped expression, I knew it wasn’t good. I stared at him with wide, worried eyes when he told me “Howard wants to see you,” and then walked away without another word.

     I’m usually a very easy-going, understanding and forgiving person. Only a few things rile me up. Needless to say, it took everything within me to maintain my composure when Howard had the gall to ask me about the rumor involving Jake and myself.

     This was actually the first time I had heard about this, believe it or not. Though, looking back, there were clues that I should have picked up on. Clue #1 would be when Sasha, Heather, Ari, Will and Tess were huddled together and talking quietly amongst themselves ... only to quiet down and quickly part ways when I happened to walk by. Then, of course, there was Tess. It didn’t matter what Jake and I were doing. We could be standing next to each other, cutting up lemons and limes, and I would catch Tess looking at me like I had betrayed her.

     I, of course, assured Howard that the rumor was false. He informed me that he was going to implement a new policy. In his words: “Employees must now disclose intimate relationships with co-workers to management.” It took everything within me to not bring up his intimate relationships with his employees, and to ask him if the policy applied to him as well. His audacity really was infuriating.

     Howard dismissed me, and Jake and I spent the rest of the day fuming over Howard’s hypocrisy. We discussed the rumor, and I mentioned that it might be best if we didn’t spend so much time together after work. But Jake argued that by doing that, we’d probably add more fuel to the fire. He figured that we should just let things blow over and wait for some new gossip to circulate. It took me a while to admit it, but there was logic in what he was saying. And it would be stupid to allow the rumor to interfere with our friendship. We knew the truth, and that should be enough.

Just as Jake predicted, it didn’t take long for a new rumor to circulate. This one involves Will and a married couple. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say Will may have a wild side after all. Best not to think about that.

     It’s evening now, and there is only one person sitting at the bar. He’s a handsome, well-dressed gentleman with blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and a gorgeous smile. I’m trying to focus on my work, but I look his way a few times and give him a small smile. Going by the way he’s impeccably dressed, I assume that he must be a lawyer or a stock broker. Not that any of that matters, of course. Still, it’s fun to speculate.

     I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I jump a little when I hear Jake’s voice from behind me. “When you’re finished flirting with the guest, we could use another bottle of Opus.”

     I turn around to face him, giving him a playful glare. “I was not flirting.” I’m about to make my way to the wine cellar when I hear the handsome stranger call out to me. “Sorry, Jake. Guess you’ll have to track down a backwaiter. Can’t keep guests waiting.” Before Jake has the chance to do so much as look annoyed, I spin on my heel and make my way over to the lone guest. “Would you like some more wine, sir?”

     “Yes, please.” I’m in the middle of refilling his glass when he suddenly blurts out “I’d also like a date, if you’re open to it.”

     I’m a bit flustered, and I end up staring at him in shock. “I, I’m sorry. What?”

     He gives me another one of his beautiful smiles. “So, are you available?”

     I’m still giving him the ‘deer caught in headlights’ look. “Umm ... For what?”

     “Dinner. Dancing. A movie. All of the above.”

     I’m blinking now, and I just know I’m blushing. It takes me a few seconds, but I finally snap out of my trance. Without hesitation, I blurt out a quick “Yes.”

     We chat for a bit, and I find out that his name is David and that he’s a stock broker. Before I leave him to tend to other guests, we set up a date for tomorrow night. When I walk away from him, wine bottle still in hand, I’m smiling like an idiot. Jake gives me one of his “What's wrong with you?” looks, and I just shrug it off and continue with my work.

I’m in the middle of breakfast and my second mug of coffee when I receive a text message from David.

     Looking forward to seeing you tonight. Pick you up at 7:00.

     Smiling, I text him back and let him know that will be fine. I finish my breakfast, put the dishes in the sink, and decide to take a quick shower. Afterwards, dressed only in a robe with my hair pulled up in a ponytail, I find myself staring hopelessly at my closet. I have gone through my entire dress collection, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to go shopping. Deciding that I am in desperate need of help, I send text message Heather and Ari.

     I have a date tonight. Let’s go dress shopping!

     About forty-five minutes later, Heather texts me back and we agree to meet up at our favorite dress boutique. Ari, apparently, is still sleeping it off. But with Heather’s help, it doesn’t take long to find the perfect black, V-neck cocktail dress with a chiffon skirt. It’s simple, but elegant. She picks out a few items for herself, and we spend the rest of the day together.

     After lunch, we meet up with Ari back at my place. While Heather curls my auburn hair and styles it in an updo, Ari focuses on my makeup. I tell her to keep it simple, but she insists on experimenting. I agree to let her work her magic, and I have to say that I’m pleased with the results. She’s chosen the perfect shades to compliment my complexion, and the smoky effect around my green eyes serves to make their color stand out. I don’t want to sound full of myself, but I look stunning.

     By the time we’re finished, it’s 6:00. Heather and Ari rush out the door, demanding that I tell them everything. Once they’re gone, I wander over to my dresser and open up my jewelry box. I decide to wear a set of pearl teardrop earrings, along with a matching bracelet and necklace. I don’t wear these items often, as I inherited them from my mother and they’re of sentimental value. But they compliment my look beautifully.

It’s nearly 10:00, and I am stepping out of a cab in front of my place of work. It’s raining, and I’m cursing myself for forgetting to bring my umbrella. The shades are pulled down and I’m certain that the door is locked. I’m about to call someone to let me in when the door opens and Santos, one of the dishwashers, begins to step out. He stops when he sees me, and we exchange pleasantries before I step inside and he goes on his way.

     As soon as I set foot in the restaurant, I begin to scan the crowd for Ari and Heather. Sure enough, they’re sitting at the bar and there just so happens to be a vacant seat next to Heather. They’re surprised to see me, and I inform them that I’ve just experienced the date from Hell. It’s a little too warm in here, and so I take off my coat and drape it over the back of the barstool before I sit down.

     Will approaches me. “It’s your day off. What are you doing here?”

     I shrug. “I just thought I’d get dressed up and then spend time with some of my favorite people because apparently, my life is all about you guys.”

     Will smiles at my joke. “Well, you look beautiful. Big date?”

     “Yeah. Huge mistake. Jackass could do nothing but talk about himself. He had the gall to order for me. And when he figured out that I wasn’t going home with him, he ditched me and left me with the bill.”

     “Ouch!”

     “Yup. Between the bill and the cab fare, I’m out of cash. But hey!” I hold up a swan made out of aluminum foil. “The restaurant’s owners felt so sorry for me, they gave me two free pieces of cheesecake. So my night isn’t a complete disaster.”

     Will chuckles. “Well, I’m glad you can see the silver lining. Sorry about your date, though.”

     “Thanks.”

     We talk for a little while longer until Jake wanders over. “The usual?”

     I shake my head, deciding that tonight was not the night for wine or beer. “What do you recommend for someone who’s just survived a date from Hell?”

     “That bad, huh?”

     “Let’s put it this way: after I leave here, I plan on walking home, changing into sweats, and tearing into this swan.” I hold up the tinfoil swan for emphasis, and then watch as he steps away to make my drink. “Whatever you’re making, make it a roadie.”

     “Will do.”

     “So, how was your day? Anything exciting happen?”

     “Not really. Tess is out with some guy who’s twice her age.”

     I smirk. “Does that bother you?”

     “No. Why would it?”

     He sets the drink down in front of me and I raise my brows at him as I take a sip through the straw. It’s fruity, cold, sweet and absolutely delicious.

     “I don’t know. You brought it up. Besides, I thought you two had something going on.”

     Jake shakes his head, leaning against the bar just a few inches away from me. “No. There’s nothing between me and Tess. She’s not my type.”

     “So ... what about that new hostess? Rosalynn, is it?” When Jake falls silent, I tilt my head and look at him curiously. “What? Tall, gorgeous, long-legged women don’t do it for you?”

     He chuckles. “Not this one.”

     “Hmm ... Well, I’d better head home. I have a swan to tear into.” I step down from the stool and slip into my coat, then grab said swan and hold up my drink as I head for the door. “Thank you for the drink. It’s delicious. Bye, everybody!”

     I step outside and thank my lucky stars that it’s no longer raining as I walk down the sidewalk. Sure enough, as predicted, I hear the sound of Jake’s footsteps behind me. Soon, he’s walking next to me.

     “You’re only doing this because you want that second piece of cheesecake. Right?”

     “You caught me.”

@anastacia-lynn

#jake sweetbitter #sweetbitterstarz #jake x oc sweetbitter #sweetbitter jake #tom sturridge sweetbitter #tom sturridge

[deathsmallcaps]

@kim-poce won this round! The 46th Win a Commission was John Henry! If you’d like to see my artistic interpretation along with the story & an explanation, please

People still talk about the night John Henry was born. It was dark and cloudy. Then, lightning lit up the night sky. John Henry’s birth was a big event. His parents showed him to everyone they met. John Henry was the most powerful looking baby people had ever seen. He had thick arms, wide shoulders and strong muscles. John Henry started growing when he was one day old. He continued growing until he was the strongest man who ever lived.

John Henry grew up in a world that did not let children stay children for long. One day, he was sitting on his father’s knee. The boy picked up a small piece of steel and a workman’s tool, a hammer. He looked at the two objects, then said, “A hammer will be the death of me.”

Before John Henry was six years old, he was carrying stones for workers building a nearby railroad. By the age of ten, he worked from early in the morning until night. Often, he would stop and listen to the sound of a train far away. He told his family, “I am going to be a steel-driver some day.”

Steeldrivers helped create pathways for the railroad lines. These laborers had the job of cutting holes in rock. They did this by hitting thick steel drills, or spikes. By the time John Henry was a young man, he was one of the best steeldrivers in the country. He could work for hours without missing a beat. People said he worked so fast that his hammer moved like lightning.

John Henry was almost six and a half feet tall. He weighed more than two hundred pounds, and it was pure muscle. He had a beautiful deep voice, and played an instrument called a banjo. John Henry married another steel-driver, a woman named Polly Ann. They had a son.

John Henry went to work as a steel-driver for the Chesapeake and Ohio Railroad, or C-and-O. The company asked him to lead workers on a project to extend the railroad into the Allegheny Mountains. The workers made good progress on the project until they started working near Big Bend Mountain in West Virginia.

The company’s owners said the mountain was too big to build a railroad around it. So the workers were told they had to force their drills through it. This meant creating a tunnel more than three miles long.

The project required about one thousand laborers and lasted three years. Pay was low and the work was difficult. The workers had to breathe thick black smoke and dust. Hundreds of men became sick. Many died.

John Henry was the strongest and fastest man there. He used a hammer that weighed more than twenty pounds. Some people say he was able to cut a path of thirty feet a day.

That July was the hottest month ever in West Virginia. Many workers became tired and weak in the heat. John Henry was concerned his friends might lose their jobs. So, he picked up their hammers and began doing their work.

One week, he did his own work and that of several other steeldrivers. He worked day and night, rarely stopping to eat. The men thanked John Henry for his help. He just smiled and said, “A man ain’t nothing but a man. He has just got to do his best.”

The extreme heat continued for weeks. One day, a salesman came to the work area with a new drilling machine powered by steam. He said it could drill holes faster than twelve men working together. The railroad company planned to buy the machine if it worked as well as the salesman said.

The supervisor of the workers dismissed the salesman’s claims. He said, “I have the best steel-driver in the country. His name is John Henry, and he can beat more than twenty men working together.” The salesman disputed the statements. He said the company could have the machine without cost if John Henry was faster.

The supervisor called to John Henry. He said, “This man does not believe that you can drill faster. How about a race?’

John Henry looked at the machine and saw images of the future. He saw machines taking the place of America’s best laborers. He saw himself and his friends unemployed and standing by a road, asking for food. He saw men losing their families and their rights.

So John Henry told the supervisor he would never let the machine take his job. His friends all cheered. However, John Henry’s wife Polly Ann was not happy.

“Competing against the machine will be the death of you,” she said. “You have a wife and a child. If anything happens to you, we will never smile again.”

John Henry lifted his son into the air. He told his wife, “A man ain’t nothing but a man. But, a man always has to do his best. Tomorrow, I will take my hammer and drive that steel faster than any machine.”

On the day of the big event, many people came to Big Bend Mountain to watch. John Henry and the salesman stood side by side. Even early in the day, the sun was burning hot.

The competition began. John Henry kissed his hammer and started working. At first, the steam-powered drill worked two times faster than he did. Then, he started working with a hammer in each hand. He worked faster and faster. In the mountain, the heat and dust were so thick that most men would have had trouble breathing. The crowd shouted as clouds of dust came from inside the mountain.

The salesman was afraid when he heard what sounded like the mountain breaking. However, it was only the sound of John Henry at work.

Polly Ann and her son cheered when the machine was pulled from the tunnel. It had broken down. Polly Ann urged John Henry to come out. But he kept working, faster and faster, his heart matching the beat of his hammers. He dug deep into the darkness, hitting the steel so hard that his body began to fail him. He became weak, and his heart burst.

John Henry fell to the ground. There was a terrible silence. Polly Ann and his son ran over to grasp his hands. John Henry’s blood spilled over the ground. But he still held one of the hammers.

“I beat them,” he said.

His son cried out, “Don’t go!”

“I love you,” he said. Then he took his last breath.

Friends carried his body from the mountain. They buried him near the house where he was born, and sat a warrior’s vigil for three days. It took a long time for his family to smile again.

Years later, the steam drill and other machines replaced the steeldrivers. Many laborers left their families, looking for work. They took the only jobs they could find. But whenever they heard the thunder echoing through the hills, they remembered the power and soul of their hero, John Henry.

Art Explanation

So, I’ve always been a fan of John Henry. There was a Disney animated short about him where they were clearly inspired by quilts & patterns, and looked partly unfinished, with sketch lines appearing, which is an artistic choice that I love when done correctly (which it was - maybe that’s what inspired my adoration for the Spider-Verse films). I’ve also read a couple storybooks about his legend - so you could say I’ve been pondering this one for a while. However, it didn’t occur to me to do this story until a couple years into making these volumes for you and my other younger cousins. I had originally picked out ‘The Juniper Tree’ for this slot - a dark tale. However, as you grew up (as this all started when you were four) I sensed you wouldn’t enjoy it right now, so I switched it out.

Just like most things, I added my own spin on this story. I copied the majority of the story off the internet, but threw in some details from other versions I liked. Some versions have him born before the Civil War, one of the first born free, and some after, where he takes the symbol of his oppression and turns it into something far more useful. Obviously, I chose the latter. Most also end with Polly Ann being pregnant during the story, and consequently giving birth to their son after. I wanted all three of them to spend time together, though. It’s a shame, but makes for a great story - a legend that is at least a century old and will hopefully live longer. It has such wonderful themes of worker’s rights, passion, humanity vs. machines, and what it means to be a Great Man - to his own family’s detriment.

I had a crush on the Disney John Henry when I was younger, but I didn’t want to simply copy him. So, I kept with the idea that John was older and already had his son, and gave him a mustache! To add onto that, I made Polly Ann thicker and taller. The short! Polly Ann, while lovely, did not make much sense as a fellow steeldriver - she was thin and small. And frankly, I am a little bored of tall men usually only showing interest in much shorter women. So here was a wife to match the giant that was John. As for the son, I tried to make him look mostly like his father but still like his mother. With simpler, uncolored drawing styles, it can be difficult to indicate relation - with so few features and lines to use, it can be difficult to draw a face that isn’t a copy but also isn’t a completely different facade. I think this one turned out alright.

The title largely stemmed from my interest in word art. I drew the hammer (left the strap for after the rest of the letters so I could work the Y into there more organically) and then calculated an equal amount of area for each letter in a fashion that allowed the H to be in the middle of the mallet head on one end but not overly squish the other letters. This allowed me to write ‘Henry’ like a crossword, so I was quite pleased overall.

The second picture came from my interest in showing the Henrys as a happy family - it makes John’s choice all the more bittersweet. Also, I wanted to honor the way the mountains curve and seem to make (rail)roads disappear around the bend, as I am going to college in Appalachia, and have fallen in love with its scenery.

The third picture was the one I was most excited to do. The Disney short has this excellent sequence where the sparks of John’s hammer provide the only light from which you can see the man decimating his way through the great rock. Being lineart and not working with the subtleties of color and the advantage of actual movement, I don’t think I was able to completely capture my intent and vision, but it still communicates what I wanted it to. I used tens of screenshotted frames to try and draw that scene.

Lastly, the crying shot. I was quite pleased (though felt shamefully as though I were a sadist) at how their anguish turned out on their faces and grasping hands, and at the perspective I attempted with John’s feet. I really wanted to push the emotion and enormity.

#Kim you don’t have to read this I just like crediting people when they win :) #John Henry #full post #wac

[iwillgiveyoumyhappiness]

Sincerely, Your Fellow Choi

@yyxgin Happy birthday, my beloved! I know this is way too late to be justifiable, and I have no real excuse. Just life and oversights, but never once do I want you to think I forgot about celebrating your birthday <3 It was literally on the list of things I most wanted to do this year—celebrate an amazing friend like you. So I hope you enjoy!

.

.

.

April 16th, Saturday 11:55 PM

For the past couple of weeks, I've been getting an email every Sunday at 12AM exactly, like it's scheduled.

Taehyun kept telling me not to open them 'cause they could be viruses, but I'm dumb (as he likes to playfully remind me), so I didn't listen to him.

I opened one a few weeks ago, which led to opening all the ones I'd received up to that point. And now I'm sitting here, anxiously scrawling down whatever I can while waiting for the next one to show up. My leg is shaking like crazy.

They weren't spam like I originally thought. They're very well thought-out and written with love. Each email is an instruction manual of how to fall in love with (Y/F/N).

I wouldn't say we're friends, but we know each other from high school (which is something I've tried to leave far, far behind me), and we talk sometimes.

We have one or two overlapping classes, but we're not lunch buddies by any means necessary. She's nice enough. I remember her making chocolates for me once for a school-wide Secret Santa thing we did.

They were pretty good. Nothing to write home about, though.

But for some reason, someone out there who signs off all their emails with the phrase "sincerely, your fellow Choi", seems to want me to think that she's got a massive crush on me and we're a match made in heaven.

At first, I thought it was silly—maybe a prank from one of her friends or something. But y'know how you just get vibes sometimes? It just feels too absurd not to be true.

I'm not saying I've fallen for her just because of a few emails, but I am saying I've learned a lot about her through these email, and I can't really tell if that's creepy or not.

How is it that I've never once noticed her before reading these emails? She's been walking in and out of my life for well over 6 years, yet I've never given her a second thought.

She was always just there, doing her own thing. She had her friends, and I had mine—if you could really call them that. None of them cared enough to keep in touch with me after high school.

I don't know why this random Choi is trying to get me interested in this girl from a past that I'm trying to forget, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't working.

Oh! Hold up.

The new email just came. Gotta go—I'll try to write more tomorrow.

April 18th, Monday 10:31 PM

Okay, so obviously, I forgot to write more yesterday. My bad. But no one's ever gonna see this anyway, so it's okay.

This works out though, 'cause I did something kinda crazy today. I decided to join the art club, 'cause (Y/N)'s a part of it. Taehyun thinks I'm insane, and Kai kindly reminded me that I can barely draw a stick figure, but I think this will be good for me in the long-run.

I can get closer to her in my own time, and I can see what she's actually like—not just what the emails want me to believe.

And maybe I can finally face high school again in a new light. Maybe now that I'm an adult, I won't be so scared.

April 19th, Tuesday 6:22 PM

Art is way harder than expected. I thought I'd pick it up pretty fast, but nah. I was wrong. This looks like chicken scratch.

On the upside, I talked to (Y/N) today. She could tell I was struggling, so she scooched over and whispered some shading tips while the team leader went over the assignment. She even offered to give me some drawing lessons on the weekends.

She didn't ask why I joined an art club, even though I'm a terrible artist.

It was nice. She was nice.

And she wasn't like how I remembered. I remembered someone more rambunctious and self-assured, and I guess that's why she always intimidated me.

Not to say she's not self-assured now, just more quiet about it. I can't tell if she's grown up, or if she's changed.

I also can't figure out why I haven't done either of those things yet.

April 23th, Saturday 3:00 PM

I had my first drawing lesson with (Y/N) today. She's such a good artist—it's kind of scary.

The emails keep talking about this hidden crush she's got on me, but I don't know if I fully believe it. I don't think I make her nervous at all.

She just smiles and talks and hums while she sketches. I don't seem to have an affect on her. She's just nice to me, like she is to everyone else.

And for some reason, that upsets me. The emails have been so accurate about everything else—her favorite colors, her hobbies, her favorite song, her allergies—yet it feels like they got her feelings for me all wrong.

I don't know why I'm upset about this. I've already told myself I'm not catching feelings, just seeing for myself what all the fuss is about. But still... I'm a little disappointed.

I guess I just expected more.

May 24th, Tuesday 8:01 PM

Wow, I kinda forgot about this. It's been a while since my last entry, but don't worry—it's for a good reason. (Y/N) and I have actually been hanging out a lot these days, and it's been fun.

Most of the time, it's for club things or art lessons, but sometimes we walk to class together or grab some coffee. And remember how I said we weren't lunch buddies? Well, we are now.

And we get along pretty well! She's funny. And I'm starting to think the crush thing might be more accurate than I thought.

I don't have any solid proof, but sometimes I swear I can feel her staring at me when she thinks I'm not paying attention. And she's always respectful of my personal bubble, yet tries to sit as close to me as possible without touching.

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, or maybe it's my man brain trying to convince me, "oh yeah, dude. She's for sure into you", but either way, I'm kinda hoping I'm right.

In these few weeks I've spent truly noticing her and having her in the forefront of my life instead of on the sidelines, I've realized that I wouldn't hate it if she had a crush on me.

In fact, I'd be honored. She's cool.

May 30th, Monday 7:45 AM

This is gonna be a short entry 'cause I'm already late for class, but I just had to jot this down real quick in case I forget.

I think I figured out who the 'fellow Choi' is. The emails reminded me that (Y/N)'s close to that jock guy, Choi Yeonjun. They've been friends and neighbors since they were little, and he went to the same high school as us, just a year ahead.

I vaguely remember him as one of the hooligans she used to skateboard around with, but the memory's fuzzy.

I've seen them hanging out before, but I didn't realize they were that tight. If there's anyone who would know that much about her, it'd be him. I'm gonna confront him tomorrow, so we'll see what happens.

May 31st, Tuesday 5:53 PM

Yeah, so that whole confronting thing? It didn't go so well. I now have confirmation that he's not the fellow Choi, but I also have a bloody nose, so I don't know if I've accomplished anything.

It was a real 'one step forward, two steps back' kind of situation. From what I've seen of him around campus, he seems like a very chill, friendly guy, and you can tell he cares for (Y/N) like a brother.

So you can imagine my surprise when I said 'hi' and his first reaction was to grab me by the collar, shove me against a brick wall, and sock me in the nose.

What I hate most was the eyes it attracted. I just know there's gonna be rumors about us fighting for (Y/N)'s hand or some crap.

All in all, something tells me he doesn't like me. He told me to stay away from (Y/N) if I didn't have the 'right intentions'.

His exact words were, "The Chois in her life have already given her enough shit, and if you add on to that, I swear to God, I'll break so much more than your nose."

It was definitely a change from the guy I'd seen ruffling (Y/N)'s hair and giving her noogies while complimenting her latest artwork and calling her a nerd.

I'm scared and angry, for sure, but also just confused. I feel like there's more to this story that I'm not getting or hasn't been revealed to me yet. I feel left behind.

And also, I wish he'd been more clear as he threatened me. What are my intentions supposed to be?

'Cause I think I'm falling for her. And if that's not Choi Yeonjun approved, how am I just supposed to just stop these feelings from growing?

Would it even be possible at this point?

June 2nd, Thursday 9:10 PM

I emailed back the fellow Choi the other day. I wanted to see if they knew what I did to hurt (Y/N) and Yeonjun in the past.

They never answered.

June 13th, Monday 11:11 AM

(Y/N) made Yeonjun apologize to me. Not gonna lie, it was a little gratifying to see that tough guy all humbled and grumbly while she glared up at him and demanded an apology.

All-in-all, even though it was forced, he seemed pretty genuine. He even asked how my nose was doing. I told him it wasn't broken, and I think (for the most part) there are no lingering hard feelings between us.

Except for the ones he's hiding from me—the ones that I assume have been there for a long time. And he must've said something to (Y/N), 'cause she's been weird too. Not mean or cold, just distant. Lost in her thoughts, even when we're together.

I wonder if he brought up some memories from the past that she'd forgotten or repressed. I kind of resent him for that a little, 'cause things were going well between us, and now I don't know what to do with my feelings.

They're getting too strong to keep inside, but would it be insensitive to confess now? I don't even know anymore. I'm so confused.

More than anything, I just wanna know what I did. I must've been either really self-absorbed or incredibly insecure in high school, because I'm coming to realize that I never really noticed anyone.

It was always just me in my little bubble, and even with my friends, I never let them get too close. As I'm writing this, I also kinda realize that I'm the only person stopping myself from making genuine connections with others.

And that pretty much decides it for me. I'm gonna confess to her this weekend—just you watch.

June 19th, Sunday 10:30 PM

Today might be one of my favorite days ever. I spent the whole day with (Y/N), and for the first time in a while, it didn't feel awkward.

I would kind of consider this our first date. We went out for breakfast, then we talked for hours and realized, "Oh, we should probably get lunch." And after lunch, we didn't wanna say goodbye, so we decided to go for a walk. "Work off the calories," she said.

By that time, we were hungry again, so she invited me to her dorm for an improvised snack dinner. It certainly wasn't gourmet, but it was tasty, and it was fun to make it together.

She looked so pretty. She didn't even do anything special—she just looked nice. So I told her. Then one thing led to another, and I was rambling and going on and on, and then I finally got it out.

Those three words I'd been trying to spit out all day. "I like you."

And guess what? She likes me too. She actually, genuinely likes me. And before I left, you know that she did? She gave me a kiss on the hand.

Not on the cheek, not on the lips, but on my hand. I've never gotten butterflies like that before. It's so weird to think that now... I have a girlfriend. It's wild.

It was really cool seeing her place, too. I remembered her skateboarding back in high school (hard to forget with the emails proudly remind me every five seconds), but she actually has medals and stuff from competitions she entered in with her old team.

Yeonjun was on that team too, apparently. She had a framed picture of them proudly showing off their second place trophy with their arms slung over each other's shoulders.

Cute picture. A little small for the frame, though. Maybe I should get her a new one.

July 10th, Sunday 12:15 AM

I think I just got the last email. It felt ominous, like a permanent goodbye. "I can't have her back anymore, so I'm leaving it up to you. If you haven't fallen for her at this point, please at least just be her friend. I'm sure Yeonjun's all she's got. Be good to her."

And as always, signed off with that 'sincerely, your fellow Choi'. I'm not sure why, but when I read it this time, I got goosebumps all over my body.

It was like I'd been talking to a ghost. They were there, and then they were gone—like a cool breeze or a puff of smoke.

It feels empty.

September 3rd, Saturday 9:45 PM

(Y/N) got mad at me for the first time today. We were doing some studying at her place, and I was admiring the pictures and medals on her wall while she was in the bathroom.

But I'm a klutz, so of course, I ended up knocking something over. It was that framed picture of her and Yeonjun. The glass shattered and the back fell out, and I swear I felt my heart drop into my stomach.

All I could think was 'shit, shit, I just broke the important thing', and like a little kid, my first thought was to get rid of the evidence.

Now, realistically, there was nothing I could do about the glass in such a short time, but I thought if I could just pop the panel back on and make sure the framing wasn't damaged...

But that's when I noticed the picture, slightly peeking out from the broken frame. It was too small because it had been folded.

I wasn't trying to pry. I wasn't trying to look at it.

But it was there, unfolded right in front of me. And I could see that in the previously folded up corner, (Y/N) had her arm wrapped another guy. A guy with longish black hair, his nose scrunched up by a big, toothy grin, and a skateboard pinned under his arm.

The three of them looked so happy together. A perfect little trio. And when I looked at the guy, I couldn't help but feel a sense of familiarity.

When (Y/N) finally came out, she blew up at me. I couldn't tell if it was because of the fact that I broke her frame, or because I saw the other half of that picture.

Now, (Y/N)'s not a petty person, so if I had to guess... I'd say it was the latter. I wanna know who he is. I wanna know why he feels so familiar. And I wanna know why he hurts her so much.

So much so that she would fold him out of a picture, but not find it within herself too throw it away.

But I'm dumb, so I didn't say any of those things. We just argued. I stormed out.

I regret it.

September 7th, Wednesday 4:32 PM

We've made up. That's what we say, anyway. But it's awkward, with just a hint of tension.

I've tried talking it out with her, asking about that guy, but she says she doesn't want to talk about it.

I'm not experienced enough for this. I don't know what's right. I don't know when to push and when to let it lie.

I'm scared to mess this up.

Soobin laid dead asleep in his room, disturbed by an incessant tap-tap-tap.

With a groan, he rolled over in bed, flipping on his bedside lamp and instinctively checking the time on his phone. Two in the morning. He groaned again as the tapping only became more insistent.

In his bleary daze, he managed to glance at the window, doing a double-take as he saw a shadowy figure outside of it. His eyes widened, pulling the sheets up and over his nose as slowly as possible. The tapping stopped, and he could’ve sworn he saw the figure sigh.

Moments later, his phone buzzed with a notification.

“It’s me, coward,” the notification read.

With a start, he jumped up, swinging his window open with expert speed, successfully shocking the person on the other side of the glass. “(Y/N)!” he gasped, grabbing her wrists and pulling her back towards him as she lost her balance.

He reared backward, pulling her into the room and landing them both on the bed with a thump, Soobin splayed flat on his back and (Y/N) nestled somewhat comfortably into his shoulder. “What were you doing on the roof, you idiot?” he asked, hands instinctively going to rub up and down her back.

“I didn’t wanna wake your roommates...” she said sheepishly. “They probably heard me scream, though.”

Soobin shook his head, biting back the chuckle that rose in his throat. “Nah, don’t worry too much,” he said. “They sleep like rocks.” He took a moment to bask in the silence between them. This was the most carefree they’d been together in a while. “So what brings you here this cold evening?”

She propped herself up a little, examining his face with a hint of something in her eyes. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but maybe guilt? She cupped his cheek. 

“Have I ever told you why I like you?” she asked softly. Soobin only shook his head. “It’s ‘cause you care so much more than you think you do. You’re so humble, and you always underestimate yourself, but you’re the coolest, most kindest guy out there.” He felt butterflies whirl up in his stomach like the first time she kissed his hand. “I just needed to tell you that.”

Soobin could feel himself tearing up, but he willed himself to suck it in. “Well... Thank you,” he said. He wanted to say anything else. He wanted to list all the reasons he liked her and how he’d started finding peace and self-acceptance through her, but no words came out—like a blubbering fish out of water.

“Can I introduce you to someone?” (Y/N) asked, seemingly to instinctively know that he wouldn’t be able to get anything out.

Soobin blinked in confusion. “What, like... right now?” he asked.

She nodded. “If we don’t do this now, I’m worried I’ll get too scared again.”

Now, he could give a million viable excuses on why he couldn’t go. He’s tired, he has early morning classes, it’s nearly freezing—but none of that mattered. He wanted to do whatever she wanted to do.

It’d easily been an hour, and they were only getting further from the familiar territory of their campus grounds. Soobin could feel himself dozing off again, but he urged himself not to. Even if he felt like shit in the morning, he was gonna stay awake for this.

“Where are we goin’?” he asked from the passenger seat of (Y/N)’s dumpy old car that stubbornly refused not to die, like a spiteful great-aunt.

“We’re almost there,” she said cryptically, gripping the steering wheel ever so slightly tighter. “Just give it a sec. It’s on the left.”

Soobin blinked hard and mussed up his hair, trying to make himself more presentable. He was still in his pajamas, so the least he could do would be to look awake. He glance at all the signs as they passed by buildings, each one of them not likely to be their stop.

When she finally slowed down and flicked on her blinker, Soobin’s heart dropped, the words ‘columbarium’ staring him in the face like the barrel of a gun. “(Y/N)—” he started.

She shook her head. “Don’t say anything yet,” she instructed gently. “Just wait till we get inside.” She took a pause while she put the car in park. “And hold my hand. I haven’t been here in a while.”

With her hand tightly grasped in his and the car locked behind them, they made their way into the building. Already, it was a sad, humbling atmosphere—seeing all the urns, photos, bouquets, and letters from family pinned up on the wall. There was so much love and sorrow, all contained in one place.

Finally, (Y/N) stopped in front of one specific niche. ”Meet Beomgyu,” she said, a slight tremor in her voice. “One of my best friends, and your fellow Choi.” In the picture frame behind the cage of glass stood a very familiar boy with longish black hair, a toothy grin, and a crinkled nose.

Soobin looked at her with wide eyes. “How did you—?”

“You left your diary at my place,” she said. “I’m sorry I was nosy, but I couldn’t help but read it. And by doing that, I realized how much I’ve been making you suffer on your own, and I’m so sorry.” She gripped his hand tighter, making eye contact with him. “Will you forgive me?”

His heart ached. “There’s nothing to forgive, honestly...” he said, voice barely above a whisper. It felt rude to speak any louder in a place full of the deceased.

“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, y’know,” she said. “It’s not a fair relationship if we’re always walking on eggshells around each other. So I’ll share some of my scars with you tonight, and you can share yours when you’re ready. I might not get all your questions answered, but I'll start.”

He felt his chest tighten. He couldn’t help but feel grateful to Choi Beomgyu for leading him to such a great girl.

He nodded. “Okay,” he said. “I promise I'll do the same for you later.” He looked back at Beomgyu’s picture. The longer he looked at it, the more bits and pieces of memories from high school came flooding back in.

(Y/N), Yeonjun, and Beomgyu. The kids who always rode into school on their skateboards, zooming past everyone on the way through the front gates while laughing and shouting jokes at each other. Soobin was pretty separate from their friend group, but out of all of them, he was most familiar with Beomgyu.

He was the class clown. Everyone loved him, and he loved making everyone laugh—even at his own expense. Yeonjun was always the one to back him up with a smile on his face, even when he called him a dumbass. And (Y/N) was always the one following quietly behind them, cleaning up thier messes.

But she never seemed to mind. She didn’t even care that as they walked down the halls, people would call out “Hey, Beomgyu!” or “Hey, Yeonjun!”, but no one ever called out for her.

“Tell me about him,” Soobin said.

She took a deep breath. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“How’d you become friends?”

She cracked a little smile, though he could still see the pain lacing it from the scabbed over wound on her heart that had yet to fully heal. “Yeonjun and Beomgyu were nextdoor neighbors, I lived across the street,” she said. “Their mom’s were best friends, and I moved to the neighborhood with my folks later on. Y’know how moms always want you be comfortable and have friends you can count on?”

Soobin chuckled. “For sure,” he said. “Even if I got a terrible report card, my mom’s first instinct was still to scold me on how I didn’t put in enough effort to make friends.”

“My mom was the same,” she said. “So about a week after we moved in, she said, ‘C’mon! Let’s go say hi to the neighbors’ sons!’ I was shy and I didn’t wanna go, but God, am I glad I did. They were both at Beomgyu's place, and as soon as I got through the front door, they dragged me upstairs to play Mario Kart and then outside to shoot each other with nerf guns.”

Her smile grew, more genuine this time. “I didn’t have time to be nervous, not with their hyper-active asses. From that point on, we basically grew up together. They were like my big brothers. Whatever they did, I wanted to do it too. That’s why I started skating, y’know.”

“Now, Beomgyu... I don’t even know how to describe him. He was like a whirlwind, y’know? He was crazy, confident, a little overzealous at times, but sweet. He always remembered the little things about you, and even though his loudness could be a little annoying at first, once he went quiet with you, you felt like something was missing."

She sighed through her nose. "I miss his voice," she said rawly, as if she hadn't allowed herself to admit that for the past couple of years.

“The three of us went through life, did everything together, talked about how we were gonna get matching tattoos once we graduated, and then one day, we were all skating—practicing for a competition, actually—and Beomgyu fell.” Her voice grew quieter at the end. 

“Beomgyu never fell. He said he felt dizzy and his head hurt. We thought he must’ve hit it on the way down, so we rushed him off the the hospital—a bunch of scared teenagers. And that’s where they discovered it. A weird hybrid type of acute myeloid leukemia.”

Soobin squeezed her hand tighter. She appreciated it. “Most people live at least 5 years after being diagnosed, but Beomgyu didn’t have that time. It was too late and too developed. He had a little under a year.”

Soobin’s heart ached. No wonder it was  painful memory. She lost her best friend when she was just a kid. “That must’ve been awful for you,” he whispered, stepping a little closer to her, just to let her feel his warmth.

“It was,” she agreed softly. “What’s worse though is that I spent those last 6 months lying straight to his face.”

 Soobin gave her a questioning look.

“Yeonjun cornered me one day. Told me that Beomgyu had been in love with me for a few years, but I never even noticed,” she said. In Soobin’s head, that made sense. And it explained the affection behind the emails’ tone. “And he never confessed ‘cause he didn’t wanna mess up our friendship, and then he thought he’d lost his shot, ‘cause I started crushing on you.”

“But Yeonjun looked me straight in the eyes as we stood by a vending machine in the hospital at almost 11:30 one night and said, ‘Beomgyu’s gonna confess to you tonight. Please accept him’.” 

She let out a dry laugh at the memory. “I didn’t know what to say. It’s not that I was disgusted by the thought of being with him or that I was particularly hung up on you—I just thought you were cute at that point—but I just didn’t feel... anything. No sparks. And that’s not how love’s supposed to be.”

“So I though I’d turn him down gently,” she continued. “Knowing Beomgyu, I thought he’d be happy to just get it off his chest, and then we could spend his last few months as we always had. The unbeatable trio.”

She leaned her head on Soobin’s shoulder, feeling drained and tired. “But when I got into his room, he’d prepared flowers, and balloons, and a handwritten letter, and a big romantic speech, and I just... 

She nuzzled closer into his shoulder. "I didn’t have the heart. He’d never had a girlfriend before, and I couldn’t help but feel like it was all my fault. Maybe he was waiting for me and I just never got to that point. So I accepted him. I’ve never seen him look so relieved. He almost cried.”

“So I went six months... Pretending to be in love with him. But I think he knew. I think he knew my heart wasn’t in it, and that’s what made it even worse. He would apologize all the time with that sad smile on his face, and it just made me feel even worse.”

“So I tried harder to be a good girlfriend, made myself feel even worse, argued with Yeonjun all the time ‘cause I felt like he was only thinking about Beomgyu, and overall, I just screwed everything up. He had less than a year left with us and I wasted it lying to him. I didn’t even do it well. It all felt pointless.”

“Especially when I knew for sure he knew. He told me he was gonna repay me someday for helping him live out his short dream, even though it was hard for me. I guess he held up his end.” 

She looked up, meeting eyes with Soobin, his dark orbs damp with sympathy. “He gave me you, the crazy bastard. Guess he knew five years would probably be enough for me not to totally hate myself anymore,” she chuckled. “That way, I could love properly again.”

She looked back at the niche, staring intently at Beomgyu’s portrait, as well as the smaller pictures laid out around it. Pretty much all of them had herself and Yeonjun inside of them, right next to Beomgyu and his dopey grin.

“He never let me kiss him,” she said. “I tried, but he never let me. He always joked and said ‘cooties’, but I know it’s ‘cause he didn’t want me to waste my first kiss on a lie. He was good like that.”

Without him realizing it, Soobin had started crying. Not a harsh sob or a broken whimper, just thick tears pouring out of his stinging, red eyes. He couldn’t tell if he was saddened by the story or thankful for the gesture.

Wordlessly, he faced the niche, giving a deep bow. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for giving me your best friend. I can tell how much you love her.”

In that moment, the air changed. It felt warmer.

Maybe somewhere out there, in a different timeline or dimension, Beomgyu was flashing his dopey smile, happy that another one of his hair-brained schemes worked out. 

#kpop #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop angst #kpop drabbles #kpopidol #txt #tomorrow x together #soobin #choi soobin #beomgyu #choi beomgyu

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Hey Francis, could you tell me a story about Rico, a twenty-two year old STEM major, and their best friend, Louis, finding out about the end of the world and how they spend their last days? Thank you Franky 💖💖💖

The artist leaned back in her chair. Her legs were crossed, and ankles were resting on her opposite knee. Arms lay relaxed on the armrests. A long, slender cigarette was perched on her lips. She exhaled deeply. She was wearing jeans and a simple white t-shirt, and now she had removed her glasses and was staring out the window.

All day long, a breeze had moved from the sea to the desert and back. It was January in California, and the subtle, dry smell of vegetation was always noticeable. It had broken into the artist's office without her realizing it and filled her lungs. She exhaled again.

Then she looked at the artist sitting across from her and smiled. She was leaning slightly towards him, elbows on the table, head propped on one hand. He had removed his glasses too, and he was smiling back. He was taller than she was by a few inches. He wore a shirt buttoned all the way to the top and a crisp white collar. His glasses were hung on a string around his neck.

The artist raised a brow and looked away. He looked out of the window and took another long, slow drag on his cigarette. He held it at an angle, as he always did. His elbows were propped on his desk, too.

"One thing I didn't know about being a mathematician," said the artist, "is that everything is so dramatic in every context."

She smiled again and looked back at the other artist. Then she leaned forward. "I am a theatre nerd. But I don't even go to plays and I don't know the vocabulary."

The STEM artist didn't say anything for a moment. He took another drag on the cigarette.

"I'm inclined to agree."

"Besides, I'm not a theatre nerd. I'm a back-of-house theatre nerd. That's different."

She smirked at the STEM artist. Then she looked out of the window. A cloud, like a horse or a man's head, was low in the sky, and was headed east to west. The breeze shifted. It brought the smell of vegetation to her nose.

The STEM artist observed her. Her hair was a fluffy, shoulder-length mess. She had on a pair of glasses on a chain, but hadn't put her glasses on. If she needed to, she would take them out and put them on the end of the chain.

He thought about her face. She was lean and angular, even if it was hard to tell in that t-shirt. Her jaw was not as masculine as the stereotype would have you expect for someone with her build, but it was there. She had a short, straight nose, and its bridge was a little higher than she liked. Her eyes were wide-set, with lots of open space in the corners, and they were brown and smoky. Her lips were full.

The STEM artist took another drag on his cigarette. He noticed his hands. They were shaking slightly. They had been for a while now. He was not used to smoking, and his voice was scratchy. He cleared his throat.

Finally, he said: "Why are you on the computer today, anyhow?"

The artist looked over her shoulder at the computer. "Oh, there's this computational chemistry paper I want to look over."

The STEM artist made an exaggerated show of not caring. His chest was huffing in and out from the cigarette. He squinted at the artist.

"Look at you," he said. "You're on the computer. Why are you on the computer? You're not even young. I haven't seen you go onto any of your social media in months. You're just an old woman. It's pitiful."

The STEM artist pointed the cigarette's end at her. "You're ancient. Why do you even have a computer?"

"I use it for writing."

"Why do you need that? You're an artist, right? Draw on paper!"

"I do that when I'm not working. I can't remember the last time I was not working."

The STEM artist made a point of looking away. The artist smiled, maybe because she found it endearing.

"You're far too old for your job. You should do something else, like --- like cook. Or knit. Or become a grandma and read books and write letters."

"I'm not too old for my job," said the artist, still smiling. The STEM artist heard a pleading note in her voice. "I'm forty-one. There's a lot of work in that area."

"You're talking about the lab, right?"

"Yeah."

The STEM artist pointed at her again. "It's not my area. I'm biology. Look, you know what I mean. I'm not saying you're ruling the world from the lab. You're just ---"

The artist smiled again, and this time the STEM artist glanced at her, too. She said: "I'm leading the world. And if I weren't old enough to lead the world, why would they have me in the lab? You know, they recruited me because I was young. They wanted me to bring youthful energy."

The STEM artist winced. There was a weariness in his voice when he spoke again.

"But I'm losing patience," he said. "I'm getting too old to lose patience. And I'm going to start complaining."

"You're right about me, though," said the artist. She was smiling openly now. "I should go home."

"Don't go home."

She looked at him in surprise. "Because?"

"Just . . . don't."

The STEM artist looked back out the window. Not long after that, he got up and left the office. He had to go to the bathroom, he told her. He disappeared down the hall.

She looked at her computer screen. It was a bright blue computer screen. It was covered in code. The screen was facing the room's other window, which looked out over a courtyard and the desert beyond. The courtyard was wet from the previous night's rain. The artist saw the rain run down the courtyard's various surfaces. She saw the drops hit the ground and form puddles, and the puddles grow and shrink as the water ran into them.

She could hear the STEM artist flushing in the hall. The toilet there sounded like a white noise generator running in a bucket.

After a few moments, she saw a hand reach into the computer's cubicle.

The artist looked over at the STEM artist. He was looking at her, his expression inscrutable. The hand was raised in greeting.

She pressed the power button.

After a moment, the computer shut down. The hand drew back into the hallway.

"I'm going home," said the artist.

(A drawing of Banksy's Quiet Movement -- A seated woman sits on a swing in the rain, with a white sheet over her head. One hand hangs to the side of the swing, and the other holds a paint roller. Clouds roll by, but the rain is barely visible.)

#original fiction #high length/content ratio #h34vybottom

[imaginationstimulation]

"The Beautiful Dream" by Hermann Hesse

    When Martin Haberland, a high school student, died at the age of seventeen from pneumonia, everyone talked about him and his untimely death. In particular, they regretted that he had not been able to make something out of his abundant talents and to experience success.     It is true that I, too, felt sorry about the death of the handsome, talented young man, and I thought, with a certain amount of sorrow, how much enormous talent there must be in the world for nature simply to toss it away so arbitrarily! But nature could not care less what we think about it, and as far as talent is concerned, there is such an excess that our artists will soon become their own audiences, and audiences made up of ordinary people will no longer exist. 

    As a result, I cannot mourn the young man’s death the same way I might if he had been harmed and cruelly robbed of the best and beautiful things in the world that had been destined for him. Whoever has happily reached the age of seventeen in good health and with nice parents has the best part of his life behind him in many respects. If his life ended too early and did not assume the form of a Beethoven symphony because he had not endured much suffering or many harsh experiences or gone through wild phases, it could still be considered a small Haydn chamber concert, and you cannot say such a thing about many people’s lives. 

    In the case of Martin Haberland, I am very certain of the circumstances. The young man did indeed experience the most beautiful things in life that it was possible for him to experience. He had absorbed the rhythms of such unearthly music that his death was necessary because his life could have ended only in discord after that. The fact that the student enjoyed his happiness only in a dream should not diminish it, for most people experience their dreams more intensely than their lives. 

    So it was with Martin, who had the following dream on the second day of his sickness as his fever rose, three days before his death. 

    His father placed his hand on his shoulder and said, “I understand very well that you cannot learn much more here. You must become a great and good man and pursue a special kind of happiness that cannot be found in your nest at home. Pay attention: First you must climb the Mountain of Knowledge, then you must perform some deeds, and finally you must find love and become happy.” 

    While his father spoke these words, his beard seemed longer, and his eyes larger. For a moment he looked like a wise king. Then he gave his son a kiss on his forehead and told him to depart. So Martin walked down wide beautiful stairs like those in a palace, and just as he was crossing the street and about to leave the small city, he encountered his mother, who called to him, “So, Martin, do you want to go away without even saying good-bye to me?”

    He glanced at her with a startled look and was ashamed that he had thought her long since dead. But he could see her standing alive and well before him, more beautiful and younger than he had remembered. In fact, there was something girlish about her, so that when she kissed him, eh blushed and did not dare return her kiss. She peered into his eyes with a bright clear look that radiated like a light within him, and she nodded to him as he hastily departed in confusion. 

    Outside the city he was not surprised to find a harbor instead of the valley and the country road lined with ash trees, and there was a large old-fashioned ship with brownish sails that rose into the golden sky, just like in his favorite painting by Claude Lorrain. Soon he was sailing toward the Mountain of Knowledge. 

    But then the ship and the golden sky vanished completely from sight. Now the young student Haberland found himself wandering down the country road, already far from home. He approached a mountain that glowed as red as the sunset in the distance and seemed not to come any closer as long as he continued to walk. Fortunately, Professor Siedler was accompanying him, and he said in a fatherly tone, “There is no construction to be used here other than the ablativus absolutus. Only by using it will you suddenly come media in res.” 

    Martin immediately followed this advice and recalled an ablativus absolutus that, to a certain extent, was his entire past. It included the world and made a clean sweep of every kind of past in such a thorough way that everything became bright and full of the present and the future. And suddenly he stood on the mountain, and Professor Siedler was also right next to him and all at once began talking to him in a familiar way. In turn, Martin spoke familiarly with the professor and confided in him as though he were his real father. Indeed, as the professor talked, he became more and more like his father. Soon Haberland’s love for his father and his love for scholarship flowed together and merged in him, both stronger and more beautiful, and while he sat and thought, surrounded by nothing but foreboding wonder, his father whispered to him, “So, now look around you!” 

    He could see nothing but immense clarity all around him, and everything in the world was in the best of order and as clear as the sun. He understood completely why his mother had died and yet still lived. He understood deep in his heart why people were so different in looks, customs, and languages and yet came from one being and were close brothers. He fully grasped that want and suffering and nastiness were necessarily and were destined or ordained by God so that they became beautiful and bright and spoke loudly about the order and joy of the world. And before he was completely certain that he had been on the Mountain of Knowledge and had become wise, he felt himself called upon to perform a deed, and although he had constantly thought about various professions for two years and had never decided on a particular one, he now knew for sure that he was an architect, and it was wonderful to know this and not to have the slightest doubt about it anymore. 

    All at once, white and gray stones lay on the ground. There were also long beams and machines. Many people told around and did not know what to do. However, he gave instructions with his hands and explained and ordered. He held plans and needed only to gesticulate and point, and people ran about and were happy to do sensible jobs. They lifted stones and shoved carts, set up poles and chiseled logs. The architect’s will was in all their hands and eyes soon the building was erected and became a palace that displayed a very evident, simple, joyous beauty with its gables and vestibules, its courtyards and bay windows. And it was clear that only a few such things needed to be built in order for suffering and want, dissatisfaction and discontent, to vanish from the earth. 

    With the completion of the building, Martin became sleepy and could no longer pay careful attention to everything. He heard something like music and festive sounds roaring around him and surrendered to a profound, beautiful fatigue with deep and rare contentment. Now after all these experiences, his consciousness began to rise for the first time, and then his mother stood before him again and took him by the hand. Immediately he knew that she wanted to go with him into the land of love, and he became quiet, full of expectation, and forgot everything that he had already experienced and done on this journey. At the same time, there was a splendid light that shone after him from the Mountain of Knowledge and his palace as well as from a conscience that had been thoroughly cleansed. 

    His mother smiled and took him by the hand. They went down the mountain into a nocturnal landscape. Her dress was blue, and as they walked, she vanished. What had been her dress became the blue of the deep distant valley, and as he recognized this and no longer knew whether his mother had really been with him, he was overcome by sadness. He sat down in the meadow and began to weep, without pain, as devoted and sincere as he had been before, when he had used his creative drives to build the palace and then had rested in exhaustion. In his tears he felt that he was now supposed to encounter the sweetest thing that a person could experience, and when he tried to ponder this, he knew quite well what love truly was, but he could not imagine it exactly and ended with the feeling that love is like death. It is fulfillment and an evening after which nothing more may follow. 

    He was still thinking about all this when everything became different once again. In the distance he could hear delightful music in the blue valley, and the daughter of the village mayor came walking down the meadow, and suddenly he knew that he loved her. She looked the same as ever, but wore a very simple, elegant dress like a Greek goddess. No sooner was she there than night fell, and it was impossible to see anything more except a sky filled with large bright stars. 

    The girl stood still in front of Martin and smiled. “So you’re here?” she said in a friendly way, as though she had been waiting for him. 

    “Yes,” he said. “My mother showed me the way. I’m now finished with everything, even with the large house the I had to build. You must live there.” 

    She smiled and seemed very maternal, sovereign, and a little sad, like an adult. 

    “What should I do now?” Martin asked, and placed his hands on the girl’s shoulders. She leaned over and gazed into his eyes so closely that he became a bit frightened, and he now saw nothing but large calm eyes and numerous stars above her in a mist of gold. His heart began to throb painfully. 

    The beautiful girl moved her lips to Martin’s lips, and right away his soul melted and he lost his entire will. In the blue darkness the stars began to resound softly. Now Martin felt that he had tasted love and death and the sweetest thing that a person can experience. He heard the world around him move and ring like an exquisite recurring refrain, and without taking his lips from the mouth of the girl and without wanting or desiring anything more in the world, he felt that he, the girl, and everything else were being absorbed by the recurring refrain. He closed his eyes and rushed down an eternal predestined street resounding with music, and he felt somewhat dizzy. Now no knowledge, no deed, nor anything earthly waited for him at the end anymore. 

[from "The Fairy Tales of Hermann Hesse"]

#fairy tales #fairytale #fairytales #Hermann Hesse #Hesse #life #life in summary #one perfect story #short story #story #fiction

[marvelouspeterparker]

pretty special

PAIRING: pornstar!sebastian stan x pornstar!reader

SUMMARY: you shoot your first scene with the acclaimed and widely admired adult film star, sebastian stan.

WARNINGS: cliché porn scenario (dad's friend) + daddy kink + age gap + dirty talk + oral (m and f rec.) + unprotected sex + creampie

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

NOTES: this was part of this fic for tom but i extracted it in case some sebastian fans that don't read for tom wanted to read it, since i'm going to be writing for him now :)

––✧––

You were a bit nervous walking into work––working with one of the biggest stars was understandably a daunting experience. You didn’t want to seem like a complete amateur next to him, especially not when you were working with him. And on top of that, you’d been watching his videos for years now, since you were a teenager, and he never once lost his charm or his spark.

You could see how he’d evolved throughout all of his videos––when he was just a young fresh face that captured the hearts of many, to his long-haired phase, to his short hair and stubble phase, each and everyone one was just as enchanting and seductive.

You’d seen the way he managed to have chemistry with every actress he worked with––how they would all fall under his allurement, get flustered from just one look. If you were being honest, you could see Tom becoming the next actor of that status––he’d already had such a good reputation among the industry and the viewers seemed to love him as well. So the fact that you were going to get the opportunity to be with both of them? Well not at the same time, but if you did, you would most certainly melt on the spot. But even separately––You felt like you were going to combust.

Sebastian was now in his late thirties, but he looked better than ever, his eyes just as smoldering, even through a screen. He kept his hair short now and often let his beard grow out, which you personally loved. Since he had a very promising reputation––and everyone that he’s worked with has only had enticing things to say about him and his skills, you couldn’t say that you weren’t excited and honored to work with him.

The scene you were filming today took place in multiple places, all of which were in a home––so for work today you showed up to one of the many unfinished houses the agency used for filming. Within no time you were dressed and in the makeshift makeup room in one of the spare bedrooms with Olive, the makeup artist, putting the finishing touches on your face. Your look was supposed to be more natural today so it didn’t take too long since you only needed some light coverage.

“You nervous sweetie?” She asked, dabbing the beauty blender under your eyes.

You looked up at her, a sheepish smile on your face. “Of course I am, it’s Sebastian Stan.”

She waved you off, “Oh don’t be. He’s the sweetest thing, really.” She placed the beauty blender on the vanity. “You know a little birdie told me that he asked for you personally.”

Your eyes widened in shock. “What? Are you serious?”

She nodded, pursing her lips. “And he doesn’t do that for just anyone, so he must think you’re pretty special.” She started cleaning up her station. “That should put you at ease, right?”

“I mean…” You looked into the mirror and trailed off when you noticed a familiar face walk into the room. You’d never seen him in person until now, so far only watching him on the screen of your phone in the privacy of your room––but seeing him in front of you was something else.

Olive noticed you trail off and turned curiously before her eyes settled on the man walking towards her. He walked over to your makeup artist, a big smile on his face as he opened his arms. “Olive! How are you?”

She smiled, hugging him back. “I’m good honey, how are you?”

He bit his lip, failing to tame his grin when they both pulled away. “I’m good.” He turned to you, “Especially since I’m going to be filming with this one today.” You got up to walk over to him and he smiled, placing a hand on your waist and kissing your cheek in greeting. He looked down at you and you could genuinely feel yourself drowning in his eyes. How were you going to manage looking into them while he was literally inside of you?

“Hi doll, how are you? It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

“Hi.” You cleared your throat when your voice came out weaker than expected but before you could continue, Olive interrupted you.

“She’s a little nervous, Seb.” You looked over to her like an annoyed daughter, berating her with your eyes as she walked away from you both, a glint in her eyes, but Sebastian’s eyes never left your face. You looked back to him to find a smirk on his face and you smiled awkwardly.

“There’s nothing to be nervous about honey,” he brought a hand under your chin and tilted your head up when you looked away. “I promise I don’t bite,” he leaned in to whisper in your ear. “That is, unless you want me to.”

You felt a shiver run down your spine and he chuckled as he pulled away to look at you. “Seems like you want me to, hm?”

You licked your lips subconsciously and he smiled, taking your hand in his. “Well you know, I asked for you personally?”

You blinked up at him, “Yeah I heard.”

He smiled, rolling his eyes as he pointed his thumb behind him at Olive’s retreating figure. “From that one I bet.” You smiled and nodded and he shook his head pretending to be exasperated, but the smile on his face contradicted that.

“Why did you? Ask for me?” You asked sheepishly, not wanting to come off as rude. But it was a little strange to have such a big star ask for you when you’re not even that established of an actor yet.

His thumb rubbed the back of your hand soothingly but the action was only sending tingles down your body. “Well I’ve seen your work,” he tilted his head. “And I know talent when I see it.” He stepped closer to you so that his breath was teasing your lips ever so slightly, his eyes piercing yours. “I also know a good girl when I see one.”

Your breath hitched, your thighs pressed together and he squeezed your hand playfully. “We’re gonna have some fun today.” He started to tug you along. “Let’s go, okay?”

You nodded, the nerves in your stomach quickly turning to excitement and lust. “Okay.”

–––

You weren’t going to take pictures before the scene today––Sebastian, having been in the industry for some time now, and having made a name for himself, was able to pull some strings nowadays and have more control over what he wanted. He didn’t really like the idea of faking for the camera, so much so that he didn’t take photos before the scenes he shot, he convinced the crew to take action shots while they were filming, so the reactions were real.

The directors knew not to rush him or the actresses he worked with during his scenes, and for that reason, no one that ever worked with him had to hurry up and fake their climaxes for the camera––they were all completely genuine and just as mind-shattering as they appeared on screen.

The scene you were filming today was different than anyone you’d done before. You were playing a young daughter who’s come home from college for the summer, and Sebastian was playing your “father”’s friend. It was a slightly controversial theme and story, but at the end of the day it wasn’t real so.

After greeting everyone, going over a few last minute things, and getting settled, the scene began.

Your “dad” and Sebastian were in the living room, talking while they watched tv for a few minutes, and you waited for your cue to step out. You came down the stairs and the camera followed you as you descended and panned out to show the three of you as you walked past them to go to the kitchen. You could feel Sebastian’s gaze trailing down your body as scripted, the camera focusing on him as he checked you out, your body also in focus as you moved by the lens.

“Excuse me young lady,” your fake father recited his line and you turned back a sweet smile on your face as you looked at him.

“Yes daddy?”

“Don’t be rude,” he chastised, “Say hello to our guest. My buddy from work, you’ve met him a few times over the past couple years, remember?”

You let your eyes fall to Sebastian and your smile widened. “Oh, right!” You walked over to him. “I’m so sorry. So nice to see you again!” You bent down and watched him take a sharp inhale as his gaze fell to your breasts before you wrapped your arms around him in a hug.

He brought his arms around you and squeezed tight, his hands lingering when you pulled away, his voice low. “Yeah it’s really nice to see you too.” He licked his lips before looking back up into your eyes and you felt your stomach flutter from the look in them. “You’ve really grown up since I last saw you.”

You shrugged as well, turning to see your “dad” not paying attention to your conversation before leaning in to whisper in Sebastian’s ear. “Way more than you know.” He bit his lip and you giggled before walking off, feeling his eyes stuck to your ass that was peeking out of your shorts.

You went to the kitchen to get a snack, conveniently walking so that the camera didn’t pick up the unfinished portion of the house, nearby. You followed the script, pretending to look around, a thoughtful look on your face as you picked up random fruits while Sebastian stared at you from the other room. After a minute or two, you turned around and went into the fridge, scanning the almost empty shelves before bending down to look near the bottom.

You felt a pair of hands slide over your ass to hold your waist and a rather impressive bulge press into your backside. “Pardon me.” You could hear the smirk in his gravelly voice as he reached over you, your body still bent over and pressed into his front. He grabbed a bottle from the top shelf before pulling away and leaning against the counter next to the fridge. You looked to the side to see him opening a bottle of water, a cheeky smile on his face as he shamelessly checked you out. “Just getting water.” He sipped from it without looking away from you and you bit your lip.

“Of course.” You closed the fridge and walked up to him as he was tilting the bottle down from his lips. You reached over behind him on the counter, while subtly grabbing his bulge in his jeans. He gasped and looked down at your hand, then across to the other room to make sure your “father” wasn’t watching before turning his head to you.

You bat your eyelashes up at him, teasingly innocent and brought your hand back to show the banana you’d just gotten. “And I was just getting a snack.” You squeezed him harder and pulled away completely, leaning on the kitchen island across from him as you peeled the fruit. His eyes were mesmerized as he watched you lick along the banana, your gaze unwavering. You slowly put the fruit into your mouth as far as you could go and his jaw dropped as you started bobbing your head up and down.

Just as it stated in the script, ever so distracted and preoccupied, his hand “accidentally” squeezed the water bottle and water splashed everywhere and all over the floor. He cursed loudly and your “dad” perked up.

“Everything alright?”

Sebastian looked up, convincingly looking flustered and you turned. “Yeah! We just spilled some water, but it’s okay I’ll clean it up!”

“Okay. Thank you sweetheart.”

You turned back around and grabbed some napkins, getting down on your knees in front of Sebastian and his eyes followed you all the way down. You half heartedly wiped down the tiles before looking up at him. Your eyes trailed down his body and you smirked, grabbing his hand. “Your hand is all wet. Let me get that for you.” Before he could say anything, you swiped your tongue along his fingers. You kept your eyes on his as your tongue made its way around his hand. You slipped two of his fingers into your mouth and he paused before slowly sliding them in and out, almost making you gag and you smiled up at him as you pulled off.

Your hands slid up his legs, one of them grazing his bulge as you made your way up to his zipper but his hand stopped you from going any further. He clenched his jaw, looking ahead before looking back down at you. “Your dad––”

You shook your head eagerly, “He won’t see anything.” The kitchen island was conveniently tall enough to hide you, so you weren’t lying. “You just have to be quiet.” You blinked up at him. “Can you do that?”

He bit his lip. “Shit––” He brought a hand up to rub the back of his head and let go of the hand of yours that he was holding. “O––Okay.” His hand came down to caress your cheek gently and you quickly turned your head to kiss his palm before reaching up and slowly unzipping his jeans. You pulled his pants and briefs down a bit before pulling his cock out and stroking it lightly but he quickly captured your attention again before you could gawk at his size, his hand firmly grabbing your jaw to make you look up at him. “Keep your eyes on me baby girl, got it?” You nodded immediately.

“Yes, got it.”

His grip tightened. “Yes who?”

You tilted your head, pretending to be confused. “Yes… daddy?”

He smiled, cooing down at you. “Such a good girl.” He briefly glanced up to the living room before looking back at you. “Now spit on daddy’s cock. Get it nice and wet for me.”

You nodded, “Yes daddy.” You gathered the drool in your mouth before spitting on his cock and stroking it. You licked along the base before wrapping your lips around his tip, swirling your tongue around it and sucking hard, making him grip the counter behind your head.

He cursed, “That mouth is fucking amazing, doll.”

You smiled as best you could around him, knowing that that line wasn’t in the script––you were just doing a good job and he felt the need to let you know. You felt yourself get wetter in your shorts and luckily enough, your next instruction was to bring a hand down to touch yourself in the scene. Your hand slipped past your cotton shorts and you brought your fingers down to swipe through your wetness and spread it along your slit before rubbing your clit. You hummed around Sebastian’s length and he pulled you into him, a hand around the back of your neck as he shallowly thrust into your mouth, not wanting to hurt you or make you gag too hard.

“God, are you touching yourself baby girl?” You looked up at him, pretending to be embarrassed and he chuckled breathlessly. “Such a filthy little slut aren’t you? Touching yourself, sucking my big cock and calling me daddy while your real father is sitting just in the other room…” He tutted playfully. “What a naughty fucking girl you are.” You whined and his mouth dropped open as you started sucking harder.

“Gonna make me cum. Keep doing that. Yes, just like that.”

Your “father” spoke up, asking Sebastian if he was coming back and Sebastian gulped, looking up at him with wide eyes as you stroked him quickly, your mouth sucking his tip loudly and harshly. He coughed in a useless attempt to cover the sound and looked around awkwardly. “Uh yeah! Yeah, just uh in a minute.”

“Okay but the game’s getting good man! Don’t wanna miss it.” He paused, “Hey have you seen my daughter around?”

You hummed around Sebastian and his eyes rolled back for a second before he straightened out. “Uh no, nope I haven’t seen her.”

“Huh, well I’m sure she’s fine. She knows how to take care of herself.”

Sebastian looked down at you, your hand still between your thighs. “Damn right she does.” His tongue swiped over his bottom lip as he locked eyes with you. “Know how to take care of me too, don’t you?” He nodded, “Mhm, yes you do.” Seeing him above you like that, hearing the praises he was whispering to you in his deep voice were enough to get you worked up. You could feel yourself getting closer and just as your cue came to orgasm, you didn’t have to fake it. You moaned and your back straightened out, your thighs closing around your hand as you came in your shorts. You blinked, snapping yourself out of your reverie and started bobbing your head up and down and Sebastian bit his fist, his hand gripping your neck as he thrusted a few times before cumming in down your throat.

You sucked around him as he throbbed in your mouth and he breathed out roughly as he pulled out. You smiled up at him, showing his release to the camera before swallowing it and showing him your tongue afterwards. He pulled you up and took the hand that was in your shorts, bringing it up to his lips before slipping your two fingers coated in your wetness, into his mouth. He kept his eyes on yours as he licked and sucked them clean, a seductive look in his stare.

Your lips parted in arousal and shock as he pulled away, a smirk on his face. “Delicious.” Your hand fell down to your side and you blinked a few times, looking up at him.

“Come find me in my room so you can return the favor.” You smiled and walked up to your room without looking back.

He tucked himself back into his pants and went after you after a few minutes, excusing himself to use the bathroom upstairs.

The director yelled cut and you had a ten minute break to freshen up before the next part of the scene. You didn’t have a lot to touch up so by the time Sebastian came up you were already in the bedroom for the next part. He came into the room a few minutes before you had to film again, eyes finding you as you sat on the bed.

He smiled softly, licking his lips and you pressed your thighs together which didn’t go unnoticed by him. “That mouth really is something else, doll.” He laughed, “Almost made me forget where I was.”

You bit your lip as the camera crew came in, setting everything up. You looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. “That’s a good thing, right?”

There was a glint in his eyes as he looked at you. “A really damn good thing, yeah.”

Feeling the heat of his gaze, you averted your eyes and you could sense him smile as he walked out of the room, preparing to film the last part of the scene. The crew made sure the lighting was alright and set up the cameras and the microphones before the director called action.

The camera focused on you as you pretended to scroll mindlessly on your phone as the other camera followed Sebastian up the steps. He paused, making sure no one was around before opening your door, slipping in and shutting it behind him.

You looked up and smirked, setting your phone aside. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”

He pulled his shirt off as he walked towards the edge of the bed. “And miss my chance to taste that sweet pussy? You must be crazy.”

You laughed breathlessly as he climbed onto the bed and pulled you down to his level by your ankles. You smiled up at him and he captured your lips in a passionate kiss and you found yourself getting lost in the feeling of him on top of you. You slid your hands up to tug his hair and he growled, taking your wrists and pinning them above your head, making you gasp as he pressed himself into you and tilted his head to lick along your neck.

You arched your back under him and he continued to rub himself against you, only making you more desperate. After a few moments and a change of camera angles, he pulled your shirt off and slid down to pull your shorts off as well. He spread your legs slowly but firmly, his hands digging into your thighs as he glanced up at you, moving his head to press teasing kisses to your soft skin.

He kissed his way up your leg before licking a long stripe up your heat, his lips soon coming around to leave wet kisses to your slit. You brought your hands down to grip the sheets and he was quick to let go of your thighs and held your hands in his, by your sides.

Normally in these videos, the actors wouldn’t actually eat the actress out properly, only flicking their tongue lightly, wanting to show the camera and the viewers everything––but Sebastian wasn’t a fan of that method, so he buried his face between your thighs, eating you like you were his last meal.

“Taste so fucking sweet.” He smirked up at you when you whined, your fingers squeezing around his hands, as you squirmed under his hold. His tongue was lapping you up loudly but purposefully as he shook his head ferociously, groaning into you as your hips started to buck into his mouth.

“F––Fuck!”

He growled and quickened his pace before he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucking hard. Soon, your head fell back and your mouth dropped open, your back arching as you let out a silent cry. Your thighs tightened around his head when he let go of one of your hands and palmed your breast, tugging and teasing your nipples. He kept going until your legs were trembling, and only then did he pull away, licking his lips as he unbuttoned his pants and hastily tugged them off, throwing them off the bed.

He stroked his cock a few times before getting back between your legs and sliding it through your wetness. He tapped the tip on your clit and smiled when you jolted from the sensation. He then slid into you slowly, bottoming out smoothly, his hands pressing your thighs open so he could see all of you. He thrusted into you a few times slowly before picking up the pace gradually.

His eyes were transfixed on the way your pussy was swallowing him whole, clenching around him but one glance at your blissed out face had him twitching inside of you.

“Look at you. Taking my cock while your dad’s downstairs. Naughty girl.” He pounded into you hard and you moaned loudly. He brought a hand up to cover your mouth, leaning close to you as he kept pounding into you, your pleading eyes looking up at him. “Gotta be quiet baby girl, okay? Just stay there and take my cock like a good girl.”

You nodded, your hands coming up to hold his wrist as your eyes rolled back. He brought a hand down to rub at your clit and thrusted into you faster and you moaned behind his hand, your hips moving of their own accord.

“That’s it. Take that cock.”

In no time, he had you coming around his cock, his eyes watching you as you came undone, your body tensing before dropping back down to the bed gracefully, as if it were deflating. Just as you caught your breath, he pulled out and flipped you over onto your hands and knees.

“You okay baby?”

You nodded, smiling back at him. “Please fuck me.”

He groaned and slapped your ass before sliding back inside your tight walls. He grabbed your hips and fucked into you hard, the sound of your skin slapping against each other loud and enticing. He was moaning and cursing, pulling your hips back into his as he thrusted his cock into your opening. Your walls were tightening around him, coaxing him to tip over the edge.

His movements became more frantic, his fingertips turning white from the force he was using. “Fuck fuck fuck, gonna cum––”

You moaned at the ragged nature of his voice, the desperate pleas falling from his lips as he used you. “Please cum inside me, daddy.”

He cursed and came with a loud groan, his head falling back as he kept fucking you to prolong his high. His pace faltered and he soon slowed down before pulling out and moving aside to let the camera show the cum dripping out of you.

Once the camera got the shot, he slapped your ass playfully and grabbed it before pulling you up to sit on him. “Such a good girl.” He brought his hands up from your ass to your jaw and pulled you in for a reeling kiss. He licked into your mouth languidly, your tongues playing with each other as you both sighed and moaned into the kiss. He slipped a hand back down to play with your ass and you giggled, giving each other two more short kisses before pulling away and looking at each other, your eyes still cloudy with lust.

The director yelled cut and the shoot was over. Sebastian kept his eyes on you for a moment longer, his hands caressing your body. He kissed your cheek and whispered in your ear. “Knew you’d be a good girl for me.”

You whimpered and he grinned pulling back to look at you. “That was fucking amazing, doll. What’d you think?”

You shook your head, a smile on your lips. “I feel like I’m on cloud nine honestly.”

He smirked. “We’re definitely doing this again.”

––✧––

@ marvelouspeterparker 2021 –– please do not repost anywhere

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan oneshot #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fanfiction #pornstar!sebastian stan #pornstar!sebastian stan x reader #pornstar!sebastian stan x pornstar!reader #pornstar!sebastian stan smut

[angryschnauzer]

He’s A Keeper

Summary: Working as an artist hired by Durrell Zoo, you spend your days sketching the day to day life of the animals and the keepers. One keeper in particular catches your eye.

Pairing: AU Zookeeper Henry Cavill x Female Reader (no race or size mentioned)

Fandom: Henry Cavill

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Friends to Lovers, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Fingering, Safe Sex/Use of Condoms, Realistic Sex/Relationship discussion, Vaginal Sex.

Typo’s are allowed to run wild and free, only the finest organic free range fuck ups for me.

I do not operate a tag list, but if you follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and hit ‘notifications’, you’ll get an alert every time i post something new. Back catalogue/masterlist can be found there and also on AO3

He’s A Keeper

Working the pencils over the sketchpad you quietly captured the beauty of the animals the zookeepers had nursed back to full health, the Ruffed Lemur currently hanging off the keepers arm as he spoke through the headset to the group of excited school children watching through the glass. 

You’d been hired by the zoo to capture day to day life at the zoo throughout the summer season, drawing the animals and the humans, however there was one particular human you had found yourself drawn to numerous times, and that was the rather tasty zookeeper by the name of Henry. He also had one of the sexiest voices you’d ever had the pleasure to listen to, so as he explained about the Lemur’s your mind wandered, as did your gaze;

“... originally from Madagascar, and have been part of Durrell zoo since 1982 where they have been essential to the breeding program…”

Your mind fell even further into the gutter at the word ‘breeding’, your eyes raking down Henry’s body, taking in how the branded t-shirt clung to his chest before tapering down to a narrow waist where it was neatly tucked into cargo pants that did little to hide how thick his thighs were and a pert arse you could bounce a satsuma off of. Biting the end of the pencil you had all but given up drawing, only realising that the talk was over when the group of school children were being herded onto the next exhibit by their tour guide and teachers.

When the kids had disappeared you finally got back to drawing, watching as Henry finished up feeding the Lemur’s before he met your gaze and smiled at you. Tapping your pencil on the glass he frowned and shook his head, before smiling and pointing to the sign in the corner of the window that said ‘do not tap the glass’, getting closer you tried to mouth your words to him, but was surprised when his eyes went wide in almost shock, before looking down and realising you had pressed your chest to the glass, your low cut cami top helping to accentuate your cleavage. When you looked up again he was gone and you let out a sigh of disappointment, before he appeared through a door to the side of the viewing area;

“Hi” he had a smile that could charm the panties off a nun; “Did you want me?”

“God yes…” Oh fuck, did you say that out loud?; “Sorry, i mean, you’ve dropped the foam bit off your headset...”

He glanced into the enclosure just at the moment one of the larger Lemur’s picked up the small round piece of foam and staring straight at Henry, proceeded to rip it into tiny pieces.

“Furry little fucker…” he cursed under his breath before turning back to you, but before he could say anything a group of other keepers came walking in and soon you were hanging onto the periphery of their conversation where they were discussing going for drinks after work. Moving to pack your stuff up as you presumed they weren’t including you, but a call of your nickname drew your attention;

“Hey Da Vinci, you up for a few beers after work?”

You hesitated to answer, glancing at Henry who had a smile across his face and a hopeful look in his eye;

“We’re all going…”

“Ok, yeah sure, that’d be great” you agreed. 

-

An hour later you were sitting on the wall outside the main entrance waiting for the rest of the keepers to finish their shifts, smiling as you saw them coming out of the doors, and the ensuing 10 minutes that followed as people sorted out who was driving and how many people could fit into just a couple of small cars. As spaces were allocated Henry laughed and shook his head;

“I am NOT riding five up in a Renault Clio, i’m too tall, i’ll have to fold myself in half! Where are we going anyway, i can take my bike and just walk home after”

Waiting as everyone discussed location and finished off seat allocation, they’d finally decided when Henry turned to you;

“Hey, i think the last seats are in the stoner wagon…”

“Oh…” you didn’t have anything against anyone smoking pot, but didn’t fancy being in a car you could barely see out of the windows of.

“But you can ride with me on my bike?”

Looking to where Henry was pointing, you saw a fairly large trails bike, the kind that could go 50mph over rough land and through forests;

“I… I don’t have a helmet…”

“Wait here, let me run into the locker room and grab the spare i keep here”

Everyone else pulled away as Henry ran into the zoo, and you glanced at the bike. You’d never been on a motorbike before, so this would be a first. Stowing everything loose in your backpack, you hooked it over both shoulders just as Henry reemerged from the building, swinging his keys from one finger as he came to stand in front of you;

“Hey, thanks for waiting”

“No worries! So, where are we going again?”

“The pub in Rozel does good food and pulls a great pint” he nodded to his left and you saw a row of motorbikes; “You ever ridden?”

Shaking your head you laughed; “No, never”

He carefully helped you put the helmet on, his nimble fingers helping to secure the strap beneath your chin before putting his own on and climbing onto the bike, pushing it off the kick stand and nodding for you to climb on. You tried to sit back, but he wrapped his arm behind his back and pulled you flush to his body;

“Gotta hold on tight, otherwise you’ll throw the balance off. Lean when i lean and just squeeze a bit harder if you’re scared, the ride won’t take long” he shouted over the thrum of the noisy engine idling.

The ride down to the small village of Rozel had been exhilarating, from the vibration of the motorbike between your legs to the way you were able to wrap your arms around Henry’s waist and cling to him as he hurtled around the country roads at what seemed like warp speed, when in fact it was little more than 30mph. By the time you arrived in the small fishing cove your heart was racing and you actually let out a reluctant moan at the thought of removing your arms from around Henry’s waist.

“C’mon” he grinned as he helped you off the bike; “I’ll buy you a vodka and coke to calm your nerves”

“It wasn’t nerves” you muttered to yourself, smirking as you know he heard you.

-

The group had managed to find a cluster of small tables chairs and benches in the corner of the pub beer garden, and as the sun had set behind the hills to the rear of the pub, the cold Atlantic sea had glowed in pale blues and pinks. You were squashed into a bench with Henry on one side and another enormous hulk of a keeper on the other, and as the temperature had dropped you’d found yourself thankful that Henry had casually rested his arm behind you so you could leech some of his warmth, but it didn’t stop a violent shiver involuntarily running up your spine.

“Cold?” Henry asked quietly, before gently wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close; “Any better?”

You nodded and let out a very quiet whine as you smiled at him, completely surrounded by his scent and warmth. It made your stomach do a flip and you clenched your thighs together, something that didn’t get past Henry as your leg twitched against his thigh. Before either of you could say anything an enormous bowl of cheesy fries was set down between you, your stomach growling at the aroma’s that wafted around you as it turned out someone had ordered sharing bowls for the whole table.

With the meal mostly devoured as you’d sat side by side on a small wooden bench in the pub garden, laughing as you fed each other and strings of cheese hung from your fingers. As the giggles of a joke faded away you glanced at Henry’s almost finished pint;

“Hey, you aren’t planning on riding that bike home are you?”

“Nah, i’d never drive after a pint, let alone three… my place is just behind The Navigator restaurant…” he paused; “Oh god, where are you staying, do i need to call you a taxi?”

“No no, i’m renting a studio up the hill, on the hairpin bend”

“Oh…” 

It wasn’t a bad ‘oh’ and there was definitely something loaded in the subtext, so when people had started to leave and arrange ride’s back to St Helier and St Johns it felt natural for Henry to stand with his arm around your shoulders as you both waved everyone off.

“Can i walk you home?” he asked, his voice low and full of promise, and you nodded as he slid his hand into yours, leading you along the low coast road that skirted the harbour.

-

You hadn’t gotten far before the evening turned even better, a brief suggestion of a walk along the beach as the tide was out soon had your feet in soft sand as you were pressed to the weathered stone of the sea wall, Henry’s lips on your neck as your fingers dug into his back, his teeth nipping and biting at whatever exposed flesh he could find. You hadn’t even realised he was going lower until he was on his knees in front of you, those sea blue irises staring up at you as he pressed kisses to your legs where your shorts ended. His fingers softly rested on the button and he finally spoke, his voice low and thick with lust;

“May i?”

Nodding fervently you bit your lip as you watched him slowly unbutton you, pulling the garment down your legs until you were able to step out. Never breaking eye contact he lifted your leg and gently rested it on his shoulder, pressing open mouthed kisses up your inner thigh until his face was pressed against your panties and his wide tongue worked against the soaked cotton and lace. His finger crooked beneath them and tugged the scrap of fabric to the side, seeking out your clit before tracing down to your cunt and tenderly teasing the entrance.

“Henry… please…” you whined, desperate for more

“Don’t you worry, i’m gonna make you see stars…”

Pushing his head forwards his lips caught your clit as he slowly slid two fingers into your soaked channel. You let out a long groan at the feel of his lips and fingers finding the right spot immediately, his other hand cupping the back of your thigh before he ran it around your hip and caught your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as he quickly drove you closer and closer to the edge with that added touch of intimacy. Suddenly he hummed against your clit and the world exploded, making you cum so hard you truly did see stars as a white heat bloomed in your belly and you rode Henry’s fingers until you were spent.

As you rested against the wall behind you he carefully withdrew his fingers, licking them clean as he tugged your shorts up your legs. You couldn’t help but to notice the obscene bulge in the front of his cargo pants, your hand rubbing over the smooth curve of it;

“You keep doing that and i’ll cum in my boxers… “ he panted out, his lips inches from yours; “What’s your room like?”

“Its a little summer cabin studio right at the end of the garden, away from the other holiday rentals and the main house… what about you…”

“Shared flat with two other guys from the zoo. They’re probably drinking in the lounge right now… so, your place?”

-

Unlocking the door you stepped inside and turned on a small lamp, standing aside so Henry could come into your small summer living space.

“Mmm nice” he nodded and looked around; “Wanna give me the tour?”

You snorted out a laugh at the formality, and held your arm out;

“Well this is the kitchen area, right next door we have the smallest shower room in Jersey, and here’s the bed” you didn’t need to take a single step for the ‘tour’, the room seeming even smaller as Henry took a single stride and wrapped his arm around your back, pulling you flush with his chest. Never breaking eye contact he gently trailed a single finger over your cheek, his thumb brushing your plump bottom lip;

“Are you going to be good for me?”

Your legs almost buckled at the deep baritone of his voice, igniting something within you that you hadn’t even known existed, eagerly nodding;

“Yes Sir”

Lowering his lips to yours he kissed you, his tongue pushing past your lips as he took control, walking the pair of you back until your legs hit the bed and you fell back onto the soft unmade covers. Covering your body with his, he quickly stripped you of your clothing, his mouth trailing behind his hands so every inch of you was gifted with a kiss. 

Standing between your legs he pulled his t-shirt over his head and you couldn’t help but to moan at the sight of his body; toned and just the right amount of hair on his chest and a treasure trail on his abdomen that surely led to untold riches. Quickly sitting up your hands joined his on his button to his cargo pants;

“May i?”

Henry released his hands and nodded, watching as you carefully plucked the button before lowering the zipper painfully slowly, his boxers tented obscenely and you couldn’t help but to cup him in your palm, the searing heat of his engorged cock a welcome feel in your hands, the wide mushroom head clearly visible through the stretched fabric. Unceremoniously tugging the rest of his clothing down, you felt yourself getting wetter as his beautiful cock was finally revealed; big, thick and uncut, you had to taste him and quickly ducked your head forwards, swallowing his head between your lips as his hands flew to your hair to steady himself.

Now it was your turn to drive him crazy with your mouth, taking him as deep as you could even though it was barely half of his length, you wrapped both hands around what was left, the thick root of his shaft filling both palms. A few more pumps and he pulled his hips back with a gasp, a trail of spittle hanging from your lips to his bulbous tip;

“If you keep doing that i’m gonna cum far too soon…” he said, his voice shaking; “Lay back and let me treat you right…”

Scooting up the bed you settled against the pillows as you watched Henry shed himself of the rest of his clothing, his boots and socks hooked off, cargo pants and underwear all left in a messy pile at the side of the bed, before he crawled up the mattress like a Panther stalking its prey.

Capturing your lips for another searing kiss, you felt his hot shaft against your belly, burning against your skin and you so desperately wanted to feel him inside you. Pulling away just slightly you were already breathless;

“Just a second…” reaching for the small drawer at side of the bed you pulled out an unopened box of condoms, Henry sitting back on his knees as you ripped the box’s cellophane open with your teeth and pulled out a small foil packet, tearing it open before smoothing the latex over Henry’s shaft. Looking up to his face he wore a rather sheepish smile;

“Sorry, shoulda’ thought of that”

“S’ok, a girl’s gotta keep sharp these days…”

“Right…” he met your gaze; “But you know, if you had gotten pregnant, i would have stood by you”

“Umm thanks? But its for STD’s. I’m on the pill”

“Oh… good thinking…”

A tense pause hung over the pair of you, before you reached up and rested your hand on his chest;

“Shall we continue?”

At your words the tension in the room suddenly dissipated, Henry kissing you as he slid a hand between your bodies so he could position himself at your entrance, groaning as he pushed in slowly breaching your body. Your tight channel hugged him tight, unfamiliar with such a size splitting your walls so he paused, pressing light kisses to your face as your body grew accustomed with his size and the heavy weight of his dick in your pillowy soft embrace. Finally you moaned out his name;

“Henry… please…”

“What do you need?”

“Move… please move. Fuck me, please”

Pushing up on his forearms he started to fluidly move his hips, slow and steady, each thrust was gentle but firm, your body yielding to him as he started to increase the pace, the sound of hot bodies meeting filling the small wooden cabin as the gentle sounds of the sea not far away filled the rest of the night. Soft moans spilled from your lips at the feel of his body playing yours like a delicate instrument, waiting for the chorus and the inevitable crescendo. But he was going to play the entire symphony first, knowing how to get you to sing the high notes as the thrum of your bodies were in tune with each other completely.

With the stretch of his girth and the way the curve of it meant he was able to find your g-spot with every thrust you were fast approaching your orgasm, your body trembling as your lips found a life of their own;

“Henry… please, so good… keep doing that… oh god, i’m gonna cum…”

“That’s it, my good girl, cum on my cock, let me feel you squeezing me so tight… feel so amazing right now… that’s it, you can do it…”

With a cry you came, your legs wrapped around his waist as you pulled him deep whilst your body shook with a fierce orgasm, triggering his own as he pumped a heavy load into the condom.

Finally spent, Henry settled on top of you, his weight a heavy comfort as your sweaty bodies lay skin to skin, the gentle roughness of his chest hair against your naked breasts a tender reminder of his virility. When he started to soften he finally shifted, holding the condom at the base as he pulled out and staggered the few steps to your small bathroom;

“I’ll be back in a second, gotta sort this out…”

The door closed and you shifted on the bed, pulling the duvet back and sliding between the sheets, listening as you heard the tell tale sound of a man urinating and the high pitched, double barrelled squeak of a fart. The flush of the toilet and water running soon after meant you knew the second he would reappear, a flannel in his hand and he stopped dead, his cheeks suddenly bright crimson;

“You heard that didn’t you?”

“It's a small wooden cabin… yes i did”

“Sorry” he approached the bed and with a warm flannel he carefully cleaned between your thighs, pressing a kiss to your lips as he did. When finished he sat on the side of the bed; “Can i stay the night, or did you want me to go?”

“Have you got work tomorrow?”

“Nope. You?”

“Nope. Please, stay”

He quickly threw the flannel into the sink in the bathroom, before with a giggle climbed under the duvet and pulled you into his arms;

“So, how many more condom’s you got?”

-

The morning light broke softly through the trees that surrounded your cabin, your body sore but sated, knowing every bruise and ache came from soft lips, sharp teeth, or skilled fingers, apart from that one ache deep inside that you knew exactly what had caused that delicious soreness, and the owner and cause of all of it still softly slept in your bed. Climbing out you quickly used the bathroom, and as you came back into the room the artist in you couldn’t help but to admire how the dappled morning light cascaded over Henry’s body. Slipping his work t-shirt over your head you pulled your sketchbook from your backpack and settled onto the only chair in the room, quietly working carbon to paper.

Henry woke 45 minutes later, the gentle scratching of your art making him squint at the bright daylight, before laying back on the pillows with his arms spread;

“Still life class?”

Setting your sketchbook down you padded across the room and climbed onto the bed;

“Sorry, i couldn’t help myself… the way the sun was hitting the muscles of your back and shoulders, you were like an anatomy masterpiece”

With a laugh and moving much quicker than you thought he was possible of, he grabbed you by the waist and turned you, his body atop of yours;

“Well that’s enough of that, i would like to become better acquainted with your anatomy… and as we’ve both got the day off i suggest we make the most of it”

Laughing you fell into his embrace, sighing with happiness. Henry really was a keeper, as you were for sure not going to let him go. 

#henry cavill #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x you #henry cavill fanfiction

[krystalites]

wayv members reacting to you pecking their lips to shut them up

anon requested: kk! First ask on the way~ WayV reaction to their s/o pecking their lips while they talk to shut them up?

genre: crack (?), tiny bit angst, fluff, soft members

word count: 1,6k

a/n: I would like to apologize for probably making you wait for so long. I never actually got the notification and for some reason I never checked my inbox.. Also, my first reaction ever! Yay! I hope you guys like this since English is not my first-language, and I'm still learning. Enjoy!

⌜ kun ⌟

"and them not listening to me just annoyed me more-"

Kun had been ranting about his members for what felt like forever now. No offense to him, you loved hearing his angelic voice and could listen to it for hours but you had been very boyfriend starved lately. All you wanted to do was to cuddle your adorable boyfriend. Though, you just let him rant because you knew he needed it sometimes. He kept talking for a bit more and it went actually well. But all of sudden, you just felt like you couldn't wait anymore.

"So I snapped and-"

Kun's eyes widened as you cupped his face and pecked his lips. He smiled when you pulled away and wrapped his arms around your face, nuzzling his head in the crook of your neck. He placed a gentle, barely-there kiss on your neck. He inhaled your scent heavily, taking as much as he can. Kun lived for moments like this and they were his favorites out of all the moments he shared with you.

"You could've told me you were bored!" he scolded you jokingly.

⌜ ten ⌟

You really thought it would be a great idea to cook with your boyfriend but all he did was sitting on the counter as you did all the job. He was making these weird vegetable puns he found on the internet. Even though they were funny, you had been listening to this for almost an hour now.

"Hey, babe?" Oh, you heard this kind of babe before. The kind of babe he uses to tease you.

"No puns Chi, no puns." To give a threatening aura, you slowly raised the wooden spoon that you were using to stir the haricot beans in the pot. Ten chuckled and put his hands up as if he was surrendering.

"I swear it's not a pun." You could sense the mischievous tone in his voice, yet you decided to ignore it.

"I just wanted to say that you’re a wonderful human bean-" His joke was cut off by your lips on his. When you quickly pulled away and continued stirring, he smiled at himself. He was feeling something that he felt for the first time in his life. He sure kept making puns just so you could keep shutting him up with your lips.

⌜ winwin ⌟

Sicheng was very excited about WayV's comeback. He had been talking about the M/V, the outfits, the choreography, the song for days. Right now, you were in the living room, as he kept talking about the comeback while you were trying to get his attention. You kept cutting his words off but he never actually heard you, despite sitting right in front of you.

"-oh and the choreography is so cool! It matches the whole aesthetic perfectly."

"Sicheng I broke your favorite mug."

"The outfits are kind of revealing but I wanna step out of my comfort zone so I really like them!"

"I burned the stuff in our memory box."

"Everyone else looks very good too!"

"Sicheng I'm breaking up with you."

That's it, you thought.

"They wanna dye my hair but I don't know if I want my hair to be dyed-" He was cut off by your lips, which were gone barely a second later. Sicheng opened and closed his mouth a few times, obviously wanting to say something but not being able to say it.

"I think I got a bit too excited," he finally managed to say and mumbled, "Can I get another one though?"

⌜ lucas ⌟

You rubbed your eyes and leaned over to your phone resting on your nightstand. With a little click on the power button and the overly bright screen, you read 02.38 am. Yukhei was obviously still in-game with the dreamies, as you could hear him yelling in the room right next to you. With a groan, you got up and slipped your shirt on. You were sleeping topless since it was summer and very hot, but his camera could be on when you entered the room. You walked to his room, not even bothering to knock since his door was wide open. If you're going to yell at two in the morning, at least shut the door you thought. Entering the room, you saw Yukhei furiously clicking on his mouse and keyboard. You walked up to him as he kept yelling at the dreamies over his microphone.

"Donghyuck he's right on your le-" He suddenly stopped clicking, trying to process what the hell just happened. You had bent his head backward and pecked his lips, then left casually as if you didn't just cause him to blush. He quickly gathered his thoughts and mumbled a quick excuse and apology to the dreamies. Turning his computer off and running to your shared room, all he could do was thinking of you two cuddling and kissing, giggling like a high school girl at the thought of that.

⌜ xiaojun ⌟

You and Xiaojun started dating a few weeks ago, so your relationship was still very fresh. Being an idol and living with 6 other males sure gave him a lot to talk about. His talkative nature didn't really help with that. You guys were on another date, at your house. You were making popcorn for your movie night since you guys couldn't go out risking Xiaojun's career just like that. Xiaojun was helping you by preparing some drinks he saw on YouTube a few days ago.

"Then Ten threw his slipper to Yukhei for calling him a garden dwarf!" You laughed and glanced at him. He looked so happy telling you about the guys. As if he was telling you about his family, which you were sure it was at this point. You were having a great time, but Xiaojun had a curfew that he was supposed to not pass. Even though you knew it wasn't intentional, he kept talking and stopping what he was doing to show you what happened with his gestures. You thought maybe if you waited 10 minutes, he would just stop. But of course, he didn't. After thinking of a nice way to cut him off, you finally thought of something.

"Ten chased Yukhei around the dorm like tha-" You pecked his lips, pulled away, and smiled.

"I love hearing you talk Junnie, but I really want to watch this movie before your curfew ends."

He snapped out of the little shock state he was in and quickly began to stir the drinks, which he was supposed to do 10 minutes ago. While stirring, he giggled and shook his head. The fact that the first kiss you two shared being an 'i will kiss you to shut you up' kind of kiss made his heart do backflips and it definitely was something he could never forget.

⌜ hendery ⌟

Hendery was teasing you for losing a game of Mario Kart. Pretty normal, right? Yeah, if only that didn't happen two days ago. This was his third day of endlessly teasing you. At first, you laughed it off. He rarely ever beat you, so you didn't want to pop his happy bubble. It's the third day, and you were visibly annoyed. You sometimes beat him at the stuff he's very great too, but you never actually took it this far.

You guys were sitting in the living room, just chilling while you watched some weird tv show, where the contestants were married couples and competed for a car. A couple you had been supporting was a few points ahead, whereas Hendery's team was losing. He sighed and faked a pout.

"They're losing like you playing Mario Kart." after his comment, he smirked and turned to you. "Get it? Cause you lo-"

Eyes wide, blinking rapidly he was looking at you. You went back to watching the show like you didn't just smash your lips against his harshly. He gulped and quickly turned to tv, pulling his hood up to hide the furious blush making its way up to his ears from his neck and face.

⌜ yangyang ⌟

"Yang, please don't cry... It breaks my heart to see you like this." You put your hand on his cheek but he harshly tugged it away.

"No! They're right. I'm useless. I can't believe I actually called myself an idol on that interview just before my voice cracked when they asked me to sing. I couldn't even dance properly to the song they gave me! My manager had every right to call me names!"

You shook your head and cupped his face, making him look at your face with his glossy eyes and red nose. He was so innocent, so pure and those 'managers' were doing nothing but ruining his confidence. Weren't they supposed to help them improve and keep them motivated? Then what was all of this?

"Yang, don't say stuff like that about yourself ever again. You are the most talented person I've ever known. Every artist, scratch that, every human has a bad day where their body doesn't feel like dancing or singing or doing something in general. You can't blame yourself because of that. What actually matters is you holding your head up high and showing them what you've got in there. You always have other performances to prove yourself.

But, that didn't seem to work on your beautiful boyfriend. He just shook his head side to side, mumbling little "no's"

"No, I should just go back to where I came from the way they told me t-" Not letting him finish that sentence, you put your lips on his. You two stood like that until you ran out of breath, eyes closed with his hands over yours that were cupping his face. When you pulled away, he let a few tears spill. Wiping them off with the back of his hands, he just pushed you on your back on the bed you were sitting on. He rested his head on your stomach and tried to fall asleep with his eyes closed. Even though you guys didn't talk about it, you knew he was feeling better about himself. And he did. He had you on his side, after all.

#nct reactions #wayv reactions #wayv x reader #wayv imagines #wayv kun #wayv ten #wayv winwin #wayv lucas #wayv xiaojun #wayv hendery #wayv yangyang #wayv angst #wayv fluff #wayv crack #wayv drabbles #wayv scenarios #kun #ten #winwin #lucas #xiaojun #hendery #yangyang #kpop #nct x reader #wayv fic

[jenohi]

stranger

PAIRING ▸ Watanabe Haruto x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ pining, high school au, lacrosse au, I’m not really sure what genre this is lol

WARNINGS ▸ traumatic events?

SUMMARY ▸ When Haruto moves halfway around the world the last person he expects to see is you. His former nemesis...or so he thinks.

PLAYLIST ▸ Still Don’t Know My Name by Labyrinth

WORD COUNT ▸ 9626

UNIVERSE ▸ YG High; Treasure Lacrosse Team

A/N ▸ I’ve decided from here on out all my stories will probably fall within the same universe. I only really have like 4 universes in mind so I’ll label them just so you know. Also, I’m looking to add some art to my stories to bring them more to life but I am useless at graphics/edits, so! If you’re really into making graphics/edits and you enjoy my work please please PLEASE reach out to me!!! I would love to work with an amazing artist! <3 <3 Plz enjoy.

A/N 2 ▸ This story is like a lot of crossover with Jeongwoo’s story but I hope I was able to bring justice to Haruto’s character and bring his story to life. :P ok now enjoy for real realz.

You were the prettiest girl Haruto had ever known in his life. But to him, you were also his rival. You always managed to score just a few points higher than him on each exam, each quiz, each assignment. To him it always felt like the teachers liked you more, so he made sure your classmates liked him more. The thing that made him really mad was that you were so unbothered. You were ambivalent to him and you didn’t even know his name. If you really were strangers and never sat in the same class he could understand. But you had been in the same classes for years. Each time you spoke to him, you politely asked for his name. As if you were strangers.

When his parents told him that his family was going to move to another city, far enough that he would have to transfer schools, he had mixed feelings. This was his last chance to confront you. To understand why you’d never bothered to remember his name, but each time he approached you he found you furiously scribbling in a notebook. Although he resented you for not knowing his name, he could never get himself to disturb you when you looked so stressed scribbling whatever it was in your notebook.

What Haruto didn’t know is that you did notice him. You noticed the handsome, tall, skinny boy that was always in the corner of your line of sight. But you had no idea what to say to him. So you never approached him. He was a stranger.

Haruto wished he could forget you. He was a bit uncomfortable transferring to a new school at first but thankfully, three other boys had transferred with him. Asahi, Mashiho, and Yoshi had become literal brothers to him. The school also had a transfer students program and he made a new friend, Hanbyul. She was a chatterbox and sometimes she could literally chat his ear off, but she was also sweet and helpful. But she wasn’t you.

But that didn’t matter because Hanbyul had another guy on her mind all the time anyway. “You know we’ve just been friends for such a long time and lately, I’ve started to...I don’t know. I feel different. Nervous. Is it normal to feel nervous around your best friend?”

“I don’t know. Is it?” Haruto responded.

“No, I suppose it isn’t. But he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I doubt he’s ever even thought about me in that way.”

Haruto felt someone nudge him, he turned to see that it was Asahi. Haruto leaned over to hear what he was going to say. “Is she talking about Jaehyuk’s brother?”

Haruto nodded.

“Jaehyuk talks about his little brother and this chick all the time. She’s so off the mark. The little brother definitely has feelings for her if Jaehyuk is anywhere near the mark.” So both parties had feelings for one another but both parties were too chicken to say anything to each other. And for no good reason.

In a way that reminded Haruto of himself and it pissed him off. He knew that spending so much time with his new friend would raise suspicions but he didn’t care. He knew that spending so much time with her pissed Jeongwoo off. It didn’t take a genius to recognize it when they went to the Big Bang Concert together.

Haruto thought he was going crazy when he spotted you a few spaces over at the concert. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to make sure it was really you. Haruto stormed over to you once he decided that it was in fact you. He had spent months thinking about what to say to you if he ever saw you again, he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. Haruto didn’t even think to tell his new friends where he had gone.

You saw a tall, handsome figure approaching your direction. You took a second to check him out, but then turned back to the performers and continued to enjoy yourself. Your parents were reluctant to let you go out to this concert on your own but it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience that you wanted so badly. You smiled sadly at what might happen when you woke up tomorrow.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of Big Bang.” You heard a voice from behind speak into your ear. You jumped in surprise and turned around to see that it was the handsome stranger you saw sauntering your way earlier.

“Hi, what’s your name?” You asked with a polite smile on your face. This is probably exactly what your parents were worried about, creepy men that would try to approach you. You started to think about the best way to remove yourself from the situation safely. The now unamused expression on his face alarmed you.

“When are you gonna cut the shit. You know who I am.”

You looked at him puzzled. “I do? How? From where?”

Haruto felt something in his chest crack. “I used to go to school with you. You’re Y/N right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” You furiously racked your mind trying to remember what you had read but your memory came up blank. You couldn’t help but cringe and turn away. This is why you tried your best to keep to yourself and away from people. You looked up to see Haruto staring down at you with a curious expression. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you. You said you used to go to school with me? You don’t go to school with me anymore? Can I get your name again? I’m really sorry. I’ll try and remember.”

“My name is Haruto. I don’t go to school with you anymore. I transferred to a new school a few months ago.”

“Oh, I see.”

Haruto wasn’t sure how to feel when he realized you actually had zero recollection of him. For some reason seeing you up close and seeing you really trying to remember him made him feel a bit sympathetic. He couldn’t understand why. It still totally irked him that you didn’t know his name. But something told him to sit down with you and get to know you.

“Well, do you like your new school?” You asked, looking up at Haruto. Your heart was beating hard and fast. You prayed that your face wasn’t flushing.

“Why don’t we just enjoy the rest of the concert for now and we can grab a late night meal after the concert?” Haruto proposed. His own palms were sweaty and his heart was beating fast.

You thought about it for a second, then nodded and smiled. Haruto felt like the world had a glittery filter for a second. He’d always acknowledged that you were attractive, but up close smiling at him, you were drop dead gorgeous.

“Awesome.”

After the concert, the two of you walked side by side as you left the crowded venue. You noticed Haruto took a second to text someone on his phone. He caught you snooping and laughed as you turned away. “It’s fine. I was just letting the friends I came with know that I was gonna head out with you.”

“Oh, if you need to get back with them it’s fine.” You said, maybe hanging out with Haruto was a bad idea after all.

“Not a chance, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. I’m honestly curious to know how you are and how things are back home.”

Your face flushed at his words. You couldn’t remember the last time you had spent time with a guy like this. Was this a date?

“Alright. Then what are you in the mood for?” You asked, pulling up a list of restaurants that were still open at this hour.

“What’s available now? What are you in the mood for right now?” Haruto looked over your shoulder at the menu as he asked.

“Um, what about McDonald’s? I’m not that picky and there’s not that much open right now.” you said.

Haruto stared at you with wide eyes, were you always this cool? So the two of you made your way to the closest McDonald’s and debated which was better, Coke or Sprite. To Haruto, Coca-Cola was non-negotiable.

“How is your new school?” You asked Haruto, munching on a few of your fries. “Do you like it?”

“What are you doing here?” Haruto interjected.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re not in Japan. This is far from home. Why are you in America?”

“Oh, I’m uh- I’m visiting family. I’ve actually transferred to a school around here for the time-being as well.” You jumped in surprise when Haruto shrieked.

“You’re here now? Like for good? Like you go to school here? Where?”

You giggled at the questions he rained down on you. The way he asked you with his cheeks full and eyes wide was rather endearing. “Yes I’m here now. I’m actually, uh, home schooled for the time being.”

“Oh, interesting. Why are you homeschooled? I remember you were always really good at school.” Haruto said before he shoved another chicken nugget into his mouth. The irritating thought that you were always better than him at school, just by a little popped up in his mind but he pushed it away. That didn’t matter anymore. He had your attention now.

You felt your face flush. Even with your condition it was true that you maintained your good grades. So Haruto must have actually known you back in Japan. You eyed him again, when he caught you staring at him you turned away. Haruto smirked.

“Enough about me. Tell me about your friends. You said you came with friends from your new school right?”

“Well I’d say one of them is actually who I’d consider a friend. The other one is a mutual friend. A childhood friend that has feelings for her.”

“Her?” it slipped out of your mouth. Haruto’s smirk reappeared and his eyebrow jumped up when he looked at you. You looked away, what was this funny feeling in your chest? It was weird.

“Our school had this transfer student program and she just happened to be assigned to me. She’s really cool, I’m not into her like that and she’s not really into me like that. She likes her friend.”

“How do you know?”

“She told me.”

“Oh. That feels like something important. Like a secret.”

“Well, I told her a secret as well.”

You stared at him. He didn’t indulge in the secret. Haruto was wholly focused on sipping the last of his Coca-Cola before putting it down on the table and letting out a sigh.

“Well so what’s going on with them now?” You asked.

“Hopefully, they both pull their heads out of their asses tonight. I gave them time alone so the best case scenario is that they just talk it out. The dude, Jeongwoo, I actually met him for the first time tonight and he’s a cool dude. It would be nice to have more dude friends around here.”

“You don’t have any guy friends?”

“I do. There are 3 other transfer students from Japan and they’re all dudes and I’m friends with them. Actually, Americans like to play this sport. Lacrosse? My friend told me to try out for the team and I think I might. Mashi, Asahi, and Yoshi agreed to try-out as well so it’ll be fun.”

You nodded, you had no idea what lacrosse was and you didn’t think you would be that interested to learn either. “I should get home.”

“Right of course.” Haruto said, getting up. “Where are you headed? Let me call you an Uber.”

“No, it’s okay. I can actually walk back home from here.”

“Oh really? Well, at least let me walk you back.”

You hesitated for a second. Would it be smart to show this guy where you lived? But then you shook it off, he seemed pretty harmless throughout the night and you trusted that he knew you from school in Japan. So you agreed.

“Do you have to be home-schooled?” Haruto asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” you answered.

“Would you be interested in attending school in person again?” Haruto could feel the devil on his shoulder kicking him. What was he doing? He had already gone to school with you before and the fact that you always did just a smidge better than him drove him nuts.

“Um, I haven’t really thought about it. Why?”

“You should consider transferring to my school?”

Your eyebrows shot up. “What?”

Haruto stepped back a bit and raised his hands. “It was just a suggestion. Honestly, I struggled a bit when I first came here. I can’t imagine how lonely it must be to be here and just be home-schooled so I figured it might be nice to have some sense of community.”

“Um, I’ll think about it.” You weren’t going to think about it. You looked up and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw the familiar apartment complex. “This is me. You don’t have to walk in with me. I’m gonna go now.”

“Wait.” Haruto said. You turned around to look at him, a thin smile on your face. “I, uh, I had fun.”

“Yeah, this was nice.” You said truthfully.

“We should do it again sometime.” Haruto said. You stared at him, he looked perfectly composed to you. But his heart was practically beating so hard he thought it might fall out of his chest.

“Honestly, I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.”

Haruto felt a heat and anger flare up in his chest. But he did his best to tamp it down and get it under control. This was literally the first time you had acknowledged his presence. He put a smile on his face. “Well, then maybe we’ll just run into each other again sometime.”

“Maybe, it’s all up to fate now. Good night Haruto.”

“Good night Y/N.”

The second you made it back into your room you pulled out your diary. You scribbled the notes you had logged into your phone throughout the day as quickly as possible. Briefly reliving each moment as you wrote them down. By the time you had gotten to the end of the list and began to recount the concert you could feel your eyelids getting heavier and heavier and your hands writing more and more frantically until suddenly, you crashed.

The next morning you woke up and read your notes. You squinted at the last thing you had written. Your handwriting became illegible near the end. ‘Haruto?’

The next morning Haruto woke up and smiled at the memory of you. Asahi and Mashiho eyed their roommate as he pranced around the living room and kitchen smiling and singing. But nothing could bring Haruto down. Well until he saw his friend looking depressed as hell.

“Dude what’s up?” Haruto asked. “Did you and Jeongwoo figure your shit out?”

“Uh, about that. Well, no.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“Well what about you? Did you run into her?”

“Nuh uh, this isn’t about me. You literally had the perfect opportunity to make something of it. To make a moment! Did you guys have a moment?”

“Yes, I think we did. But I got scared. I don’t want to lose Jeongwoo as a friend, but at the same time I don’t think he has any feelings for me like that. I just, I think I need space. Maybe if I just distance myself from him a bit then I can get over my feelings and…”

“No offense, but that’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Well I don’t care if you think it’s stupid. This is my decision and my decision is that I don’t want to see Jeongwoo for awhile. Ok? I’m not ready for the conversation. So you better get used to seeing me more often!”

Haruto sighed as he watched his friend storm out of the room. He turned around and exchanged looks with Asahi. “Did I say something wrong?”

Asahi shrugged. “Honestly, I think you’re valid. I think her logic in avoiding Jeongwoo is pretty dumb. The dude’s in my gym class. Honestly, he’s chill. I don’t think he’d react badly to her if she confesses regardless of how he feels.”

“I should probably find her and apologize anyway.” Haruto said, exiting the room. Eventually he found his friend and they sat together in the cafeteria.

“Sorry about what I said earlier. I’ll admit it was kind of harsh. But honestly I can’t say I understand your logic at all.”

“It’s fine Haruto. You seemed extra happy when you walked in this morning. Who was the friend that you saw at the concert?”

“It was her. Y/N.”

“No way! Isn’t she in Japan?”

“That’s what I thought too. I was so shocked to see her.”

“What did you say to her? What did you guys talk about? Did she recognize you?”

“That’s the thing. The best part of it all was that I actually had her attention. You remember I told you about how she never acknowledged anybody right? She was always reading her notebook in the hallway. In the past when I spoke to her she never even knew my name! She had to ask me every single time. But this time, there’s no way she wouldn’t remember me!”

“Your relationship is weird. But I guess that’s sweet. What does she write about in her notebook?”

“I don’t know. Why does it matter? She knows my name now!”

“That’s another thing. You went to school together for years and she never remembered your name? Why?”

“I don’t know.” Haruto said. Now he was grouchy. All the questions that had been brought up to him were valid, but these weren’t things he wanted to think about.

A few weeks before the lacrosse tryouts in the spring Haruto went to the hospital to get a physical done.

Once he was done he stumbled into a small cafe right next to the hospital. When he saw who was manning the cash register he rubbed his eyes and looked away and looked back a few times to make sure he wasn’t being deluded. When he was confident that he wasn’t going crazy he stood up and walked over to the register.

You saw a tall, handsome, and skinny guy walk up to the cash register. You cleared your throat and stood up straight. “Hello, what can I get you?”

“Y/N! It’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Again?” You put a smile on your face and thought of a response. “Hey, it’s so good to see you! How have you been? What’ll you have?”

“Do you...remember my name?”

You felt your heart picking up speed and your palms beginning to sweat. But you kept your composure. “Of course, let me take your order and we can chat for a second.”

Haruto beamed. “Okay, then I’ll just have an Iced Americano.”

“Okay, that’ll be $3.30. The ice machine is in the back so I’ll be right out in a second. You rushed to the back of the cafe and pulled out your diary and flipped through the pages, reading the entries as quickly as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you noticed a torn piece of paper that had slipped out of your bag. You picked it up, it matched the paper in your diary. You flipped it over to see that it had a name written on it. Haruto.

Was that this guy’s name? Who was he to you? Darn it, why hadn’t you written more?

You quickly filled the cup with ice and walked out filling the cup with cold brew. You grabbed the marker and scribbled Haruto on it. You walked back over to the cash register. This guy’s eyes were practically glittering in anticipation. Was it normal for someone to get this excited over a coffee?

“I’ve got one iced americano for Haruto?” you said.

If his eyes were glittering before, they were practically flashing light strobe lights at a nightclub now. A matching beaming grin on his face. “Yes! Y/N it’s fate. We ran into each other again!”

“Right. Yeah, of course. What are the odds.”

“Do you have a minute?”

“Um, I’m working right now. I’d rather not get in trouble. Maybe another time?”

Haruto swiveled around, eying the cafe. “It looks pretty empty to me. I don’t think you’d get in trouble if you came out for a second just to keep me company.”

“Still…”

“Is your manager even here right now?”

“No.”

“Then come on. Just come out for a second.”

You looked around the cafe, cursing at how vacant it was. You tugged at your sleeves for a second before answering. “Fine.”

You followed Haruto out from behind the counter. He walked over to a table and pulled a seat out from underneath the table. He smiled as he waited for you to sit down. You walked over to the table and turned around. Haruto slid the chair underneath you as you moved to sit down. Once you were seated Haruto ran around to the other side of the table and sat down.

“How are you? How have you been?” Haruto asked.

You stared at the boy sitting in front of you. He was so handsome. “I’m doing well. How about you?”

“I’m good. I was in the area because I needed to go to the hospital.”

Your ears perked up. “Why were you at the hospital?”

“Why do you wanna know? Are you worried about me?”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at Haruto. Haruto cleared his throat and looked away for a second. “I’m just playing with you. I went to get a physical.”

You nodded, tracing the patterns on the tablecloth.

“I needed one for lacrosse tryouts.”

“Lacrosse? What is that?” you asked. Haruto thought the way your nose scrunched in confusion was adorable.

“I told you about it last time! Remember? It’s this sport that Americans like to play. I had never heard of it in Japan either.”

You didn’t remember. “Right.”

Haruto couldn’t understand the dynamics of the conversation. He watched as you avoided eye contact with him and intensely focused on tracing the pattern of the table cloth. Then you would stare out the window of the cafe, it almost appeared as if your eyes were glazed over. “What are you always writing about in your notebook?”

Your head spun over to look at him so fast, you thought you might have gotten whiplash. “What?”

“Your notebook. I remember in school back in Japan I always saw you either writing things down in a notebook or reading the same notebook. What’s in it?”

“Um, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Why? It can’t be that bad. I promise I won’t laugh no matter how embarrassing it might be.” Haruto said. Leaning forward over the table so that he was in your face.

“Forget it.” You said, leaning back and looking away. You glanced over at your bag that was perched far back behind the counter and breathed a sigh of relief. “Look. I gotta go. I’m supposed to be working right now. I think you should go now as well.”

You stood up from the table so quickly that the chair you were sitting on toppled over. You didn’t bother to turn around and pick it up. You walked back towards the counter without looking back.

Haruto watched you as you walked away. He narrowed his eyes when he saw you grab your bag and walk to the back of the cafe. There was only one thing on his mind as he walked out of the cafe. Your notebook. What was in the notebook?

You frantically flipped to today’s page in your notebook. In all caps with your boldest, darkest black marker you wrote at the top of your notebook. ‘Beware of Haruto. Tall, Handsome. Asked about notebook.’

Then you shut the notebook and exited the back room, breathing a sigh of relief when you noticed that the cafe was vacant once again. You walked over to the cafe table where you had previously sat and picked up the chair that had fallen over when you had left the conversation.

The next day at school Haruto was deep in thought. What could possibly be so important about a notebook? When Hanbyul shoved him, Haruto shrieked as he fell out of his chair. “Dude, what the hell is your problem?”

“What are you thinking about? You look like you’re thinking so hard that your brain might break.”

“Do you have an important notebook? Is that like something girls do?”

“You mean like a diary?”

Haruto snapped his fingers and looked up. “Yes! Exactly like one of those. Do you have one of those?”

“I did when I was younger. I don’t keep one anymore though. Why do you ask?”

“My friend. The one from home, Y/N? I think she has one. I asked her about it yesterday and she got all dodgy and weird.”

“Ah, well. Back when I did keep a diary it held all my dirtiest secrets. I don’t think I would want to share it with anybody or for anybody to know about it. Not even now, and as an elementary schooler I really don’t think I had any secrets worth keeping.”

“It was so weird. She got so defensive over it. I didn’t realize bringing it up would be such a touchy subject.”

Hanbyul shrugged. “Different things matter to different people. Are you ready for tryouts? They’re coming up soon aren’t they?”

Haruto nodded. “Asahi, Mashiho, Yoshi, and I have started going to that gym that you recommended. Lacrosse is actually pretty fun. Mashiho is the best though. Are you coming to tryouts?”

“Of course I am. I’m practically making you go so it’s only fair that I be there to see how you do. I reserve the right to totally make fun of you if you embarrass yourself though.”

Haruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever.”

Soon enough it was the first day of lacrosse tryouts. Haruto had frequented the cafe that you worked at in hopes of getting the chance to speak to you again. Unfortunately, what he didn’t know was that you had quit the job and diligently stayed home and studied.

Haruto was agitated at the thought of not being able to speak to you again. When he tried to sit down and rationalize it himself he couldn’t make sense of it. A year ago he despised you for not knowing his name. You know his name now, right? What more did he want from you?

“Haruto? Haruto! Hello? Are you even listening to me?”

Haruto turned to look at Hanbyul. “Honestly no, sorry. What’s up?”

“I feel bad for how I treated Jeongwoo. You were right, avoiding him was not the right thing to do. But why hasn’t he said anything to me?”

“Look I can’t tell you what’s going on between the two of you any better than you can. My assumption is that he’s a bit hurt and confused at the moment by how you’re acting and he doesn’t want to make things any worse than they are.”

“Can’t you say something to him?”

“Me?” Haruto looked up from his stick that he was re-taping. “What do you want me to say to him?”

“I don’t know. Just...just get him to react.”

Haruto scoffed. “If you want me to do that I can but again I feel like it’s not going to produce the results that you want. Like I think if I say anything things are gonna go really sour so I think you should think long and hard about this.”

“Haruto!”

“Look, I gotta go. Tryouts are starting.” Haruto said, turning away and walking onto the field. He didn’t miss the hard stare coming his way from Jeongwoo. Haruto ignored them and focused on his gameplay. Lacrosse had actually become really cathartic for him and he found that he really wanted to make the team.

Haruto noticed that the coaches seemed to be reacting favorably to how he was playing. He also realized that Jeongwoo was also really good but he played really aggressively, like he had something to lose. At the end of practice Haruto figured his hunches must have been correct because the coaches called him over to speak with him.

“I’m sure you know Varsity tryouts were this morning, all of your friends from Japan did great as did you and so we’re thinking about pulling you up to varsity. So tomorrow I want you to come early and try out with the varsity team, alright?”

Haruto beamed and nodded.

“Good work son.” The coach slapped Haruto on the shoulder. He did his best not to fall over. Thankfully the coach didn’t notice.

Haruto walked off the field and headed towards the school parking lot. Just as he pulled his phone out to call someone for a ride home his phone pinged, he tapped on the notification to see that it was a message from Mashiho.

Mashiho: Haruto have JV tryouts ended?

Haruto: Yes, I just finished

Mashiho: Cool. Have you found a ride home yet?

Haruto: No, do you know anyone who can come get me?

Mashiho: Ya, a lot of the guys on varsity can drive. Junkyu is over now but he offered to come pick you up.

Haruto: Junkyu?

Mashiho: He’s trying out for the varsity team. He’s cool. Kinda goofy but cool. I’ll come by with him.

Haruto: Alright, thanks dude.

Mashiho: Np.

Haruto checked the time on his phone before putting it back into his pocket. 6 P.M. Would you be at the cafe? The last few times he had gone by he hadn’t seen you. He put the thought away when a car appeared in front of him. The window rolled down and Mashiho cheered when he saw Haruto. “Get in the car! You smell!”

“Shut up and unlock the door Mashi.” The car door clicked open and Haruto hopped into the backseat. There was a large dude sitting in the driver’s seat who kept fidgeting with a bunch of random controls.

The guy turned around with a giant grin on his face. “Hello! I’m Junkyu. You must be Haruto! Nice to meet you!”

Haruto bowed. “Hello. Yes, I am Haruto. Nice to meet you as well.”

“Ruto! How were tryouts?”

“They were really good. Coach pulled me over at the end of tryouts and told me to come early tomorrow morning and try out with the varsity team.”

“Damn! You must be so good!” Junkyu said from the driver’s seat. Haruto tried not to be concerned by the way Junkyu was driving. His head kept swiveling from left to right. “Did you guys play sports back in Japan? All of you were insane at tryouts today!”

“We all played football. I think Mashi and Yoshi played basketball as well.”

“Football? Do you mean football football or soccer football?”

“Eh?”

“Do you kick a ball or do you carry a ball?”

“You kick it. Duh. Why would you carry a ball? That’s just dumb.”

“Americans call a totally different sport football. Don’t worry about it too much. But it’s awesome that you guys are so good.”

“Well to be fair, we were told about that Lacrosse Club and we had a few training sessions every week leading up to try outs.” Mashiho said.

“Ahh! How’d you hear about that? A few of us have been playing on their club teams for a while.”

“My friend told me about it. She’s the person responsible for me in the foreign exchange students program. Hanbyul?”

“Oh! I know who you’re talking about. Her brother was a legend at this school. He was a top recruit since his sophomore year here. But right before the most important game of his senior year he tested positive on a drug test and he couldn’t play. It totally turned him, his team, and the school around. He got dropped by the college that was recruiting him. But I heard he struck a deal with a pro-team and I guess he’s been training with them. The dude was in a league of his own.”

“Damn. That’s insane.”

“Yeah, our school takes lacrosse pretty seriously. The best players at our school get recruited to some of the best schools so it’s a great opportunity.”

Haruto knew there were probably more important things to be thinking about in this conversation but he couldn’t help but wonder if he could get you to come to one of his games.

The second day of tryouts Haruto was absolutely on fire. His shorts were shart, his passes were quick, and his steps were light. The varsity team was definitely of a different caliber but Haruto found the challenge fun. It was nice to be able to play with the rest of the Japanese boys as well.

At the end of varsity tryouts the coach pulled him over, “you were great out there today. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling alright coach.”

“Up for a few more hours?”

Haruto paused, but then nodded. He wasn’t in a place to argue with his coaches. “Sure.”

“Great. Then I want you to continue through JV tryouts. Grab some water and then head back out onto the field.”

“Alright coach.”

Haruto jogged out to the edge of the field. He was surprised to see Hanbyul sitting at the edge of the bleachers. “What’s up?”

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to watch your second day of tryouts.”

“Are you sure you’re here to watch me?”

“Shut up. Why are you all sweaty already?”

“Coach had me try out with the varsity team today.”

Hanbyul’s eyes widened. “Dang, you must be awesome. The last two boys that made it onto the varsity team as sophomores were my brother and his best friend Bobby.”

Haruto shrugged. “The game is fun. It would be awesome to play on varsity.”

The coach blew his whistle, signalling all the players to come back out onto the field. Haruto turned around and gathered around. Every so often throughout the day Haruto ran back to the bleachers where Hanbyul sat. His bag was stowed away there as was his secret stash of Coca-Cola. It probably wasn’t smart to be drinking Coke in the middle of tryouts but every so often he needed a pick-me-up.

“You need to quash that habit.”

“Yeah yeah.”

At the end of the day the coach told Haruto to wait for him inside his office. So Haruto did just that.

“So what’d you think about tryouts today?” Coach asked.

“It was intense.”

“Yeah, what did you think of the way the varsity team played?”

“They were quicker, sharper, and more nimble.”

“Good observation. Do you think you were good enough to play on their level?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then answer me another question. If you had to pick another player from the JV tryouts today to pull up to Varsity who would you pick?”

Haruto thought about it for a second. The answer was obvious. The only other person who seemed to put up a fight with him was “Jeongwoo.”

“Good guess.” The coach laughed. “I don’t know what they feed you kids in Japan. But all four of you are good.”

There was a knock on the door. Haruto turned around to see Jeongwoo. He smirked when he saw the sour expression on Jeongwoo’s face. But it was gone once he had walked into the room and stood adjacent to Haruto.

“The two of you have demonstrated amazing capabilities and I am considering pulling one of you up to the varsity team. Take this opportunity seriously. Tomorrow is the last day of tryouts.”

The last place Haruto expected to run into you was at the hospital. The last thing you were expecting at the hospital was for a dude to come up behind you and scare you. It was horrible, you can’t remember the last time you screamed so loudly, let alone at a public place.

“What are you doing here Y/N?”

“Uh, I’m-” you hesitated, trying to craft an answer that was vague enough that you wouldn’t have to tell the whole truth but not vague enough that he wouldn’t continue to ask questions. But thankfully Haruto seemed to take it upon himself to fill the silence.

“Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry that I totally misjudged you when I first met you? In fact, I thought I hated you.”

Alarm bells went off in your head. Was it normal for a person to come to you and tell you they hated you? “Uh, thanks?”

But Haruto continued. “But I wanted to say I totally read you wrong. You’re actually really cool. And I wanted to say thank you. For remembering my name.”

That was the first time someone had ever said that to you. You stared at him blankly unsure of how to respond.

“Haruto! Haruto! Haruto! Please report to waiting room 105, the doctor is ready for you now.” The voice over the loudspeaker belted.

“Well, that’s me.” Haruto said with a soft smile on his face. He got up and waved goodbye to you before heading to the back of the office.

Once he was safely out of sight you pulled out your notebook. Your face paled once you flipped through it a few times. You thought about what to do. What did this guy want? You wrote out all these questions in your notebook. Then you came to a conclusion of what to do and wrote that down in your notebook as well.

You ripped out a piece of paper from your notebook and scribbled your number on it. Then got up to the receptionist desk. “Hi, I don’t know if you’re allowed to do this. But when that guy Haruto comes out. Would you mind giving him this?”

You handed the sheet of paper over to her, the receptionist gave you a look and then a wink before accepting the sheet of paper. You figured that meant she accepted, so you waved goodbye and left the hospital.

“Excuse me sir!” The receptionist lady called out to Haruto as he was about to head out of the doctor’s office. What felt and looked like a nasty possible sprain on the lacrosse field just turned out to be a measly bruise.

Haruto approached the reception desk. “There was a young lady earlier. She asked me to give this to you before you leave.”

Haruto looked at the slip of paper. His eyes widened into the size of large gumballs when he realized what was on it. He felt like his heart would explode. But then his mind pumped the brakes, he wasn’t ungrateful, but why did you give him your number?

On the way back home you second guessed your decision at least 30 times. Why did you give him your number? The only reason you could think of was that you didn’t want to not know the guy. Contrary to what your mind and your diary told you. Your heart didn’t want to give him up. Maybe it was selfish and confusing, who knew? But who cared?

Haruto’s excitement was cut short when he finished punching your number into his contacts. Before he could even send a message to you, his phone rang. Hanbyul.

“Hey Hanbyul, what’s up?”

Haruto became alarmed when he heard a sniff and a muffled sob. “Haruto, I miss him.”

Haruto sighed. “He’ll come around soon.”

“Is there nothing you can do to make him come around sooner?”

“Hanbyul. If all goes well he’s going to be my teammate. Plus, what could I possibly say to change things?”

“I don’t know. He probably thinks there’s something going on between us.”

Haruto paused. “Is that why you’re friends with me?”

“No, no I swear it’s not. You’re an amazing person and you’ve been an amazing friend.”

“Hanbyul.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like what you’re asking me to do. But you are my friend. If you’re really sure this is the way you want to go about it.”

“I’m- I’m not sure. I just need things to change.”

On the third day of tryouts Haruto was in a funk. And it showed. The events of yesterday night haunted him, he was happy to see you but he was sorry for Hanbyul. Haruto didn’t really like to fight with anybody, but he found her requests unreasonable and the questions she asked about you probing and uncomfortable.

It seemed as if Jeongwoo was the same way. Haruto gave into the niggling voice inside his head and said probably he shouldn’t have said. “You’re gonna lose your girl to me and now you’re gonna lose your spot on the team to me?”

It pushed Jeongwoo off the edge and the two of them went at it. Haruto played ferociously and aggressively. As did Jeongwoo. The game ended when Jeongwoo illegally body checked Haruto.

“Dude what the hell is your problem?”

“No, what’s your problem? Your comment back there? Absolutely uncalled for.”

Valid. But Haruto wasn’t going to admit that. “Please. Pull your head out of your ass. You’re hurting your friend. Talk to her.”

Haruto stood by as he and Jeongwoo got scolded for their behavior. Eventually, tryouts ended with neither one ending up on the varsity team. Haruto knew he probably should have been more bothered but he wasn’t. He had other things on his mind.

When Haruto exited the office he saw Hanbyul waiting outside. She turned to look away from Jeongwoo back to Haruto. Tired and hopeful that their saga would end, Haruto smiled and jutted his chin out towards Jeongwoo. Hanbyul smiled and ran after Jeongwoo.

Since the fateful day you have Haruto your number. Whenever he had a free moment he would ask to see you. After each time you saw him, you thoroughly wrote down everything that had happened in the day. You didn’t want to forget.

A few Mondays ago, you went to get ice cream together. “What’s your favorite food, Haruto?”

“Me? Anything unhealthy.”

You whacked him on the arm for that.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a stupid teenage boy. And because I’m jealous of your metabolism.”

A couple Thursdays ago, Haruto asked you if you wanted to go watch a movie with him. The Uber and the weather didn’t quite work out. “Sorry we missed the movie by 45 minutes. But on the bright side, it’s not raining anymore!”

You laughed. “I guess you’re right. What should we do instead now that we’re here?”

Haruto looked around. He pointed at the grassy meadow. “We should just lay down on the grass and look at the stars.”

“The grass is wet.”

“Look, they're selling plastic tarps over at that convenience store. Let’s just buy one.”

“Okay.”

Haruto paid for a plastic tarp and spread it down out on the grassy meadow. The two of you laid on the ground parallel to one another. Until Haruto turned to you “can I hold you?”

You felt your face flush and you looked away. You hesitated for a few moments but eventually Haruto smiled when he heard a soft “yeah.”

So he moved his arm as you lifted your head to rest on top of it. You curled into him as his arm wrapped around your upper body. Haruto’s stomach exploded in butterflies. Your face was on fire. But the two of you were happy, blissful.

Last Friday night Haruto asked you to come to one of his lacrosse games. “Y/N, this is my friend Hanbyul. Hanbyul, this is Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Hanbyul stared at you eyes wide. Like she knew something. She looked like she wanted to say something but she held it in. You wondered what it was, but decided not to think too much about it.

Hanbyul was sweet. She kept you company throughout the game. But she was an aggressive cheer-er. Most of her attention was spent yelling at the field. Her energy was contagious and by the end of the game you were standing on the bleachers cheering “Go Haruto!”

Now it was Saturday and the two of you had finally gone to see the movie that you had meant to see a couple Thursdays ago. You clasped onto the arm that Haruto had held out for you as you exited the movie theater. “That movie was so good! It was so crazy!”

Haruto laughed. “Yeah it was okay.”

“Just okay? You didn’t like it?”

“No, I liked it. It wasn’t bad. But I feel like there were better movies from this cinematic universe you know?”

“Yeah I guess.”

“Which one was your favorite?” Haruto asked.

“Huh?” You looked up at Haruto to see him looking down at you. You turned away. “Um. Would you wanna come back to my place?”

“Huh?” Haruto wasn’t normally caught off guard but this time he was.

“I mean. Not like that. I just, I don’t know I’m not ready for the night to end and I figured since my place is close by we could just go back and chat.”

Haruto smiled. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go.”

Soon after the two of you arrived at your place, Haruto got situated on the couch and after making sure he was properly settled in. You had gotten up to go fetch your drinks. Haruto spotted your notebook sitting on the edge of the coffee table. He glanced over to see that your attention was fully occupied on making your drinks. Haruto turned back to stare at the notebook. No. The notebook was staring at him. Haruto knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t peek.

But he couldn’t help it. Every time he saw you he either saw the notebook with you or he saw you writing the notebook and every time he even remotely looked in its direction you guarded it with your life. This could be his only chance.

And so, Haruto grabbed the notebook. He flipped through it and saw that it was very meticulously dated. Upon closer inspection he noticed that each entry was timed as well and every timed entry had extensive details about what you saw, what you talked about. Then he flipped backwards and found one page not like the others.

This page wasn’t dated. Instead, it was titled. Haruto. Haruto’s eyes widened. Every line of his designated page was filled. There were things about him on there that even he hadn’t realized he had said. Why had you written all these things down? All these details didn’t seem that important to him. They were like things that were probably easily remembered. Or things you could ask him about, he’d answer if you ever asked him about.

Just as he was about to continue flipping through the pages of the notebook. “What do you think you’re doing?”

An index card fluttered out of the notebook right at Haruto’s feet. Haruto bent down to pick it up. But in a panic you kicked his shin and as he howled and grabbed onto his leg you snatched the card. “What the hell Y/N?”

“No. I should be asking you that. I’ve made it abundantly clear that this notebook is not to be touched. It’s incredibly private to me.”

“What is it? Why is it so important? I asked Hanbyul what it might be and she just said it was probably a diary. What is so special about yours?”

“What is so special about mine?” you were so angry you felt like your head was about to pop. While your head didn’t pop. Your mouth certainly did. “What is so special about mine? This notebook? This notebook. Is my memory. I don’t have a memory.”

You tossed the card at Haruto. He picked it up and read the words on the card as you spoke.

“At age 13 you were involved in a very traumatic car accident. The accident left you in a coma for two weeks. After you recovered from your coma you were diagnosed with anterograde amnesia. From that day on, you no longer have the ability to make memories. The memories you make within a day will only last until you fall asleep wherein your memories of the previous day will be wiped. Use your notebooks to keep track of your days. Use these notebooks to help you remember.”

You could hear your voice waver as you finished reciting the contents on the index card.

“Y/N, I-” Haruto said. The world seemed grayer and grimmer. Everything made so much sense now. Why every time he spoke to you in school you had to ask for his name. Why sometimes you looked confused or blank when he mentioned something or attempted to crack a joke.

“So now you know.” You whispered. You could feel your body start to heave, your breathing became heavy. The gravity of what you had just exposed started to weigh down on you. “You need to leave. You need to leave and never come back.”

“Y/N. I wish you would have told me.”

“Why?” You snarled. “Why would I tell you that? Each day I wake up I can’t even remember who you are. Why would I have told you anything? Just so you could go around pitying me? Telling everyone else about me? Absolutely not.”

Haruto started to feel tears well up in his own eyes. He felt trapped in his own body as he watched your body fail yours. When he saw you collapse something snapped in his head and he got up and picked you up. One arm held you under your shoulder blades and the other below your knees.

“Get. Out.” you said in between wheezes.

“No. Y/N. I’m sorry. I don’t want to. Let me help you.”

“Get. Out.” you said, barely conscious.

“Y/N. You’re scaring me. What do I do? How do I help you? Let me help you and I’ll leave you alone.”

Your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier. Honestly, you weren’t even sure what exactly was going on. Maybe it would be smart to have Haruto call your doctor before he left. “Emergency Numbers. Notebook.”

Haruto placed you down on your bed just as you had passed out. Haruto immediately ran back to the living room and grabbed your notebook that had fallen onto the ground. He flipped through it frantically. What page were the emergency numbers on? He saw them scribbled on the inside of the back cover. He grabbed his phone and dialed the first number listed at the top.

“Hello? Is this Y/N’s doctor? She’s just passed out and I don’t know what to do. I’m in her apartment right now. Someone please come help me.” Haruto hadn’t even realized that tears had been streaming down his face until he saw wet splotches appear on the notebook. He wiped them quickly and sniffed. “This is scaring me.”

“Yes, this is Y/N’s doctor. I’m on my way over. Who is this?”

“Haruto. I’m a friend of hers.”

“Haruto. You did good, son. Just wait. I’ll be there in a second.”

“Doctor. Is she gonna be okay?”

“Honestly I can’t tell you right now. I have to check up on her. Right now I’m in front of her door so you can let me in.” The call ended and Haruto opened the door.

“Is she in her room?” The stout man asked.

Haruto nodded and followed him back into your room. He tried to help the doctor but eventually the doctor turned to him and said “son, just relax. Give me some space. She should be fine. She had a panic attack, something must have worked her up. But she’ll wake up. But, it might be better if you aren’t here by the time she wakes up.

“I understand, doctor.”

The doctor took a good look at him. Then nodded grimly before turning his attention back to you. Before Haruto could leave though he saw a stack of index cards, a roll of washi tape, and a pen sitting on your desk. He was still holding your notebook from earlier. He grabbed the materials and headed back out to the living room.

Before he left he scribbled out a note. Then pulled something out of his wallet and taped it to the back of the index card. He then taped the index card to the inside of the front cover before shutting the notebook and leaving it in the middle of your coffee table. He held in a sob as he got up. How had things gone so sour so quickly?

Haruto walked back over to your room and peeked in. Your doctor was still busy doting on you. So he turned around and exited your apartment. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Junkyu. “Hey, can you pick me up?”

“Yeah of course. Send me the address.” Junkyu said, trying not to be too alarmed by the tone of Haruto’s voice.

Eventually, you woke up. After reading the note that your doctor had taped to your hand explaining the situation you took a deep sigh. What a shit show. You needed to find the notebook your doctor had mentioned in his note.

It was sitting in the very middle of your coffee table. You flipped through the last few pages to read your entries. Your eyes started to water and you felt yourself get emotional. You could sense that you had grown close to someone. You read about yourself and how you felt about Haruto, but who was Haruto? For the most part you had made peace with your situation but for the first time in a long time, you began to feel frustrated. Angry. Cheated of a normal life that other 16 year old girls got to live.

Just as you were about to shut the notebook you noticed there were two index cards taped to the inside cover. The first one explained your situation. It was more or less what your doctor had just explained to you. But the second one was new. You lifted it up to your face and began to read it aloud.

Y/N,

If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you are the love of my life. My name is Haruto Watanabe and I am 16 years old. I met you for the first time in our freshman year of high school back then when we lived in Japan. We were only 14 years old. I used to be jealous of you, how you beat me in school every time even if just by a little bit. I also resented you because I thought you never bothered to remember my name.

By some stroke of fate, we both ended up in America. Whether by fate or not we saw each other a few more times and met up with each other and I really began to fall for you. You are the kindest, most beautiful, and genuine person I have ever met in my life.

I want you to know that even with your condition. My opinion and my feelings towards you have not changed. I want to be honest with you and tell you what I did and I hope in time you can read this and not feel angry.

Y/N, I did something bad. I invaded your privacy. You see, every time I saw you you fiercely guarded this notebook. Everytime I asked about it or possibly glimpsed at it you would react so strongly so eventually the curiosity of needing to know what was in the notebook killed me. And one day when your attention was occupied elsewhere, I read it.

It seemed like a regular diary to me but you caught me in the act and got upset with me. You explained to me your condition and I want you to know I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry I behaved so insensitively. If I were a more selfless man I would have left your life for good. But I am not. I’ve attached my school I.D. to the back of this card. On it has my name, my picture, and my phone number.

If you ever find it in yourself to forgive me. Please give me a call. I will always love you.

Love,

Haruto Watanabe

You flipped the back of the card over. Sure enough there was a school I.D. taped to the back. You pulled the card off and stared at it. The boy in the picture was handsome. He was tall. His height was 6’2”. You scoffed, at least you had good taste.

You saw his phone number at the bottom. You pondered over whether or not to call him, what would you even say to him? Where would he even fit in your life?

These were the questions that ran through your mind as you pulled your phone out and dialed his number. You stared at the numbers as you recited them aloud again. Your thumb hovering above the green button.

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