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psychewritesbs · 7 months

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Any thoughts on the current Takaba vs Kenjaku face-off?

Hola anon! Yesssss I have thoughts. So many thoughts because, while not necessarily amongst my top 5 chapters in jjk, chapters 240 and 241 are sooooooo damn good in their exploration of both Takaba's and Kenny's sense of self.

Thing is... I already liked Takaba, but after this set of chapters, it's not necessarily that I love him more, but rather I appreciate how relatable he is.

In a nutshell, my reaction to this chapter this week was:

fucking Gege 😭👌

I taco'bout it under the cut!

Let's start with 240 though...

Chapter 240: Foolish Survivor, Live On—Battle of Equals

I think it's very relevant that Gege just gave us Gojo and Kashimo's death served on a cold platter of "I wanted to feel I belonged in a world where I felt no one could understand me" because I am totally loving Takaba's sense of self revolving around the same need and desire.

So I love that he found in Kenny someone who understood him so well, to the point that his jokes were rendered ineffective because Kenny could see right through the joke's weakness.

Similarly, I am loving what Takaba is doing for Kenny.

In chapter 239 Kenny mockingly asks Hanezoki to be friends...

... and specifically says that to be his friend, such a person must never bore him and must be his equal. This is also interesting in the sense that Kenny calls Granny Tengen his friend, so I'm curious to see Gege expand on this.

Now, this is relevant because Kenny is basically a 1,000 year old brain. When you've lived that long and you've seen everything there is to be seen in terms of human drama, I imagine life can get pretty boring. So what is it that drives someone who's seen it all to get up every morning and face yet another day in the world?

What is their raison d'être? Their reason for living and existing...

So I love Kenny's state of mind "being written all over his face" because it goes right back to the intellectual curiosity that drives his actions and Takaba is the one who is reigniting that intellectual curiosity that drives Kenny.

Kenny is smart and wants to laugh. The fact he knows so much about comedy shows he's found in comedy something worth exploring. I mean... imagine Kenny as Kaori, Yuji's mom, pregnant af, watching comedy shows to pass the time because it feeds her intellectual curiosity.

Similarly, think of how Kashimo asked Sukuna about what brings him enough satisfaction to turn himself into a cursed object to cross the ages, to which Sukuna's simple response is "the ephemeral taste of human flesh is enough to pass the time until death".

This is interesting in and of itself given the recent ask about which element each of the three big clans represents (mind/body/soul). It kind of feels like Sukuna represents body and Kenny represents mind. But I digress....

Chapter 240 then ends with Takaba having an identity crisis--that is, he's come face to face with the very source of his own woes the way it happened for Gojo.

If he is to go on living, Takaba needs to re-assess his sense of self.

Chapter 240: Foolish Survivor, Win and Remain—Bridging opposites

The chapter opens showing us a Takaba we hadn't seen up until now--harsh and critical, he takes things too seriously. Little did we know, this is part of his sense of self.

And I just loved this juxtaposition of these two conflicting parts of Takaba's personality (someone who takes things too seriously but who is also capable of being one hell of a goofy mf) because it showed that

a) two seemingly contradictory elements can coexist as one and the same, and

b) when we get out of balance (i.e. choosing to prioritize one of these contradictions over the other like Takaba being so focused on doing comedy right that he's forgotten that the spirit of comedy is being lighthearted), we lose sight of what's truly important.

So Takaba's trying to get back at why he became an entertainer in the first place...

... and the lengths he was willing to go through to be accepted and feel like he was understood by his peers... idk. It's so fucking real...

This is also the antithesis of everything Sukuna stands for.

But what I personally think is neat about Takaba is that, while he did act goofy so that others found him relatable, I really do think he's one hell of a genuinely goofy mf for a couple of reasons. First, an overly serious personality type has to be balanced out by an unserious personality (in Jungian psych it's all about wholeness by bridging opposites). Second, he seems to genuinely be interested in comedy and the craft of comedy.

Takaba's problem was then that his overly serious persona would kill all the fun out of comedy, while on the other hand, the part of him that wanted to be accepted did not want to take things seriously because it meant getting rejected.

It's almost like Takaba never got these two parts of himself to work together and so they worked against each other.

And can I just say that I absolutely loved this interaction between Takaba's current self and his child self? Representing Takaba in his younger years felt like Gege was writing about how this was the formative period when Takaba's conflict between his two personalities started. Gege already did something similar with Gojo in his teen years and this is just so masterful and beautiful because I don't even know how to put into words that Gege is writing about a process of healing through dialogue with the inner child.

I'm screaming in depth psychology nerd.

Above all, I love how this chapter in particular gets at the conflict we've seen repeated in other characters in jjk--i.e. Gojo felt isolated but did not realize that was partly because he built barriers around himself.

It's like Gege is showing us how we see ourselves (our sense of self) is the very source of our own tragedies because we're largely blind to anything that is outside of conscious awareness because we push it into the shadow.

It's just... *chef's kiss*

fucking Gege 😭👌

So I LOVED seeing Takaba own his need to be known and understood because that's so fucking human.

But even better was how he brought together that goofy mf he tapped into due to his need to be understood with his earnest and serious nature.

Also, his level of self-awareness...

And to bring it all back full circle...

Will Kenny laugh? Looks like Kenny is excited to see what Takaba has in store, so that's already a good sign.

idk, again, this isn't my favorite chapter ever and at the same time... man... what a fantastic character exploration.

There's something here about how Takaba may be the only one who gets this whole sense of self thing right.

The other thing I'll say is that Gege has a tendency to make his characters relatable in their last moments. There's something here that I can't quite put my finger on quite just yet that goes back to the idea that "how we live is how we die" and jjk characters have a tendency to go out in such a way that reflects how they lived their lives.

Whatever the case, I'm on #Team Takaba and am rooting for him from the sidelines.

Thanks for stopping by anon!

#jjk ch 240 #jjk ch 241 #god i love jujutsu kaisen #ask the mental gymnastics anime girl

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craetor · 1 year

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L analysis / theory-ish

in the year of our lord 2022 because things don't make the bittest of logic & I'm here to serve autism conversation meme aka INTJ-to-INTJ bluetooth connection, telling tumblr, once more, of Him. But fr yes here's another analysis of canon content hear me out

Recently I've come across the Death Note Short Stories books and with it, these panels.

It seems odd how often L would state, just as bluntly: "I am justice", "L is justice", as if taking pride in some kind of double standard.

One could argue that this was his main goal during his early years (considering he might have felt somewhat high and mighty after preventing WW3), but that would mean L let go of the fact he initially wanted to use his intellect to benifit a larger good later on. Except... As recent as the beginning of the Death Note timeline, during the case of the LABB, a certain lightheartedness about his all-around approach was rather apparent, i.e. whenever he asked Misora if B "was cool", which anyhow quickly plummeted as his ideology came into question. It's inexplicitly stated that his motive for spending time on his work at all, especially on an extremely uncomfortable case as the one of a vengeful successor, or, you know, the ones involving crying survivors that reportedly haunt him daily, is following a code of "kindness", or perhaps even 'goodness' or 'justice'.

Was L forging the truth in the panels above to arise a response that would've been harder to get through full transparency? Giving the kids of Wammy's House a motif of casualness for what it means to step into L's footsteps is nothing but a making sure his successor is capable enough to have fun with it (be enough like him to use their anonymity in 'unfair', yet sufficient ways, enabling them to reach their goal with all the brattiness their smarts will grant them) and quelling the work towards a too high goal if they're not on board with doing well for themselves in face of The Burden (because, wouldn't you know, that was basically all this meeting was anyway. See end of this post for context).

I really thought it was odd for L to undermine the work he takes pride in.

In L Change The World (book one), L's literal dying duty is to save the world. It can't be ignored that it's s spin-off, but it can't be ignored that it'd be silly if the main goal of the book would be out of character. If it was his hobby, as he said, and his goals were selfish, he could've just set up in a comfy place somewhere, get his bearings, uncaring for the future of his successors (literally what he did care for in the panels shown above. This gathering is from the time he knew he might be killed by Kira soon) and watch the world crumble, but instead he went to, yes do what he loved, but fulfill a duty he felt he had. The unnecessary pain throughout the plot really can't be described as anything but passion and a sense of destiny. His ways aren't morally white, but they're well-meaning and genuine. Often arguably self-sacraficing.

It's more believable that L is splaying a facet he sees in his work & mentality. Being a detective is always bound to some sort of irony, to choose to call it 'righteous', and the measures necessary to reach a goal in such field. L recognizes this well and has no need to hide it, especially towards a room of potential proteges that will soon have to deal with that same irony by literally becoming him in the eye of the public. This actually arises the question if Near truly understands L's ways at this point. Short Stories could have served as Near's arc to understanding L's emotional side that, in the end, brought about his downfall and, for the lack of it, Near's victory. The announcement Near makes, addressing Cheap-Kira (which I adore btw) doesn't befit L at all. Yes, the new Kira has killed many (enough to warrant L's attention at the very least) and it's an honor thing for Near to go after them as L, but it's too experimental. It serves as a provocation and lure, but nothing deeply authentic. At this point the new Kira hadn't challanged L whatsoever, so the 'disinterest' thing just seems like Near shooting into the dark, less quiet & undercover than L really loved to go about things, mostly to evaluate how to go after certain cases in the first place & already semi solve them before even going public with it, at most prepping a provocation like this if something can't be clearly deduced by observing present events alone. (Read tags for fix-it-type criticism of this specifically)

Structure edit: 10.7.2023

#even though it was the almost same approach L took and it succeeded this time #near's broadcast was just unnecessary. literally talk to the police about that in private god damn.#no baby. 'you are an abominable murderer' is no BETTER reason to hijack TV stations.#keeping quiet is the ultimate cold shoulder & the ultimate surprise when C-Kira Does get caught without much fuss #It's just such a pathetic way to fall & the most eye-roll way. AKA L's way through and through #my writing #character analysis #death note #l lawliet #near death note #he could have simply ordered TV stations to state things like that IN HIS NAME #how absolutely snotty would that have been....#the 'talking sense into them' approach did work just it wasn't L other than the 'you're just a cheap copy' thing #the same thing Light pulled when he learned about Near if you think about it #wherefore yeah ok authentic but i'm doubtful if that was the thought Near had #you know the thought.... THE thought. the *YOU'RE not my soulmate >:(*

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funkymbtifiction · 2 years

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Hi! I am an unhealthy version of an ISFJ. I'm constantly judging people by their looks or capabilities. I really don't like it when people don't think like I do either. When I try to change the way they are thinking and it's not working at all then i give up on them and I dont really give a **** anymore even if they crash and burn. When people are also smarter than me and understand so many different perspectives on different subjects, it also bothers me. Someone being smarter than me annoys me and i don't actually know why? Why am I so unhealthy and judging people constantly? Is there a way to be better? In the past i used to be more understanding and i never used to judge someone. I was really a helper, people looked for me when they needed someone to talk to and feel understood but as of late, i have changed drastically in a bad way. I was eager to help people but now they drain me a lot. I also like to compare myself to the past version of me. The one who was better and more understanding and more calm. I'm kind of stuck. What is going on?

Sounds like a Ti loop (bypassing Fe and bearing down too hard on an immature / critical / "tear them apart" lower thinking function). Something in your environment / lifestyle has caused you to stop using Fe accurately (to care about and connect to people, and focus on what you have in common rather than the differences, by pointing out to yourself and others that "we are all human") and to bear down too hard on Ti, so that it has become your default. Weak Ti can be unfairly critical and unconcerned with other people, it can nitpick and pull them apart. It can also become insecure at other people being intelligent because it's measuring itself against other people and feeling insecure about whether it's smart or not.

To recover... what's causing this? Is it school? A person in your life? How is it affecting your relationships? Have you screwed one up yet enough to feel the burn of it? You need to identify what's forcing you out of Fe into Ti and do something about it. Returning to healthy Fe means learning to accept that not everyone is going to agree with you, but that you can listen to them and respect their views, while being sure of your own opinions and live in harmony by focusing on the things you agree on, rather than the differences. It means tuning in to other people and asking what they need from you (what do I need to say to them, what do they need to hear, what can I bring to this conversation that enriches them?), rather than sitting in judgment about them.

The fact that you hate it and don't want to be this way is an indication that you are willing to change and want to go back to your earlier self. You've already taken the first step. The way to recovery is to think about the people you love, and about how your behavior is hurtful to them. How to use Ti properly means analyzing your own reactions and judgments and deciding what it says about you. Then choosing a course of action. You are not at the mercy of your thoughts; you can take them captive, halt them in their tracks, and change them. The next time you find yourself being unfairly critical, stop and force yourself to think something nice about that person, or reflect on a good thing about them. Shift your thinking on purpose, and it will become easier and easier, as you remember what you LIKE more than what you hate.

It would also be helpful to know your Enneagram type -- if you are in fact a 2 that has disintegrated into 8, for example, and wants to 'watch the world burn' because you feel taken advantage of, or disrespected, or unloved, or like no one listens to you. If that is the case, it's time to do some soul searching on your motivations and the Pride that drives your attempts to influence others toward your way of thinking (because "I know better than they do what their life SHOULD look like!"). 2s can become very resentful when others do not appreciate them, take their advice, or do what they say, because they pride themselves on being necessary and essential to other people's lives. As a result, they can offer unsolicited advice, or want their friends to think the same way as they do (Fe + 2 in particular wants a consensus of views / to be in harmony with others), and react badly when this does not happen. But in real life, people are not always going to like you, agree with you, listen to you, or do what you say -- so it's better to learn to reach people through kindness and a genuine interest in what they think rather than a need for control.

(This also could be a Ti grip, which would make you an ESFJ. Some of it sounds a lot like what my EFJ friend has described in her "worst moments.")

#question #mbti #esfj #isfj

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not-close-to-straight · 2 years

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Oh, oh!

I also wanted to say that I like that Steve is not the 'tiny, petite, slender' Omega in this story.

A lot of stories do have the Omega as that and I can totally understand why but it sometimes also makes me sad because I know I am not tiny or slender and sometimes I think that makes me less 'female' in a way. Or less attractive to people.

Which I also know is stupid but well.... your own thoughts tend to be your worst enemy so yeah. 😞

Just glad that Steve is not tiny or 'weak' in this fic and Billy loves him anyway. That Billy even finds it a turn on, a good thing. I really like that. 😊

Ohhhh YES the smol Omega thing.

Listen. Size difference is very much one of my favorite tropes to write, especially in Omegaverse because regardless of the Omega's relative size to their Alpha, I tend to write them as capable and smart and maybe even dangerous in their own way, and all those attributes are made so much more fun when the Omega is like. Pocket Sized.

In Marvel especially, we get Tony who is arguably not actually all that small, like 5 8 is completely average height. But I always exaggerate out the size of my Alphas (and super soldiers in general) so a very pretty 5 8 next to an absolutely hulking 6 4 and 250 pounds+ of sheer super powered muscle makes for EXCELLENT scenes. Or like, Spideypool. I use Andrew Garfield for my Peter Parker and it's not like he's short, he's a solid 5 10 or 5 11 but especially in the movies he's very slender and very baby faced and I LOVE him next to an absolutely ripped and six foot plus Wade, like have you seen Comic!Wade's size? Thighs of Death INDEED.

But I actually really love that Steve and Billy (and Eddie, but that's a different vibe all together) are basically the same size. Arguably Billy is wider/stronger and Steve is taller and less defined but basically. Same size. There's no several inch height difference, no real discernible weight or muscle advantage, Steve doesn't automatically look submissive just because he's shorter (the open mouth pout and hair does it for him c'monnnnnnn) and I LOVE it.

Not only does it give us really great moments like in Risk where Billy does surprise Steve by being able to pick him up or where Billy just heart eyes when his mate can drag him in for a damn near violent kiss, and then too, moments where Steve can straighten up and lower his voice and go from a slouchy pretty thing to a full on force to be reckoned with. He IS strong enough to drag his Alpha out of a bad situation, he's strong enough to stand down Neil, strong enough to protect the kids and that's so important for Billy at this point in his life.

I really think Billy would be one of those guys who needs a PARTNER in all things, not just a spouse. He needs someone who can stand on their own two feet and then also help HIM stand when he can't. Needs an Omega who WANTS to be taken care of because that means Steve is actively choosing him instead of just letting biology dictate it all. Billy doesn't want someone to roll over and submit but he needs someone he can also feel safe with and the repeated emphasis in this fic of Steve looking at him eye to eye, not submitting, straightening up and getting stern, flat out saying no, grabbing and pushing and pulling or REFUSING to be grabbed and pushed and pulled-- I love it. He is exactly what Billy needs.

And also? I HEAR you about always feeling big/not feminine. I am a WOC adopted into and raised with a conservative yt family and let me tell you. I never once, never ONCE felt like I was small and pretty and petite and feminine like all the other girls at school or the pretty little yt girls my brothers married. My hair was kinky and curly and I got hips and tiddies and a period when I was barely 11. Went from little girls clothing straight into a size 4-6 in womens (juniors fashion in the early 2000s was NOT kind to anyone with curves). I couldn't trade clothes with friends, I had big feet (turns out a size 8 isn't actually big??) I couldn't squish into chairs with everyone and in group pictures I just looked... well to steal a line from Ms Taylor-- like the monster on the hill. Even when the Kardashians (barf) decided that having super intense curves were popular and my body type was finally accepted as sexy (jessica rabbit!) versus "too big", it didn't help matters. Not even a pretty fucking severe eating disorder changed that my hips were just that wide or my shoulders were just wide and it was YEARS before I felt even slightly pretty or feminine or anything close to it. Even now on the rare occasions when I date peen-owners, I feel awkward cos unless they are of the over six foot variety, generally speaking? I outweigh them. And nothing triggers my eating disorder issues like realizing they probably couldn't pick me up and carry me and ohhhhhh my god I just realized why I write my Alphas so goddamn big. I just-- like truthed myself into figuring out one of my kinks, fucking yikes.

Anyway. I hear you on that. I get it. I had so much fun purposefully writing Steve in this fic and I'm so glad it spoke to you.

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dailydoubletake · 6 months

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Uncertainty and Still Being Curious

PASSION

Why not shut down? There is so much out there that could go wrong as the universe is really just a game of chance (physics speaking here). Quantum mechanics is weirder, even than me, so I don’t understand it well enough to dwell on this for too long. But I will say that, at the very tiny/basic level, the universe does operate probabilistically. So it only makes sense then that it would be the same in our shared reality, right? Truth is, it might as well be because we can’t know the future anyway. So either way, we’re still rolling the dice. Having said that, let’s dive even deeper into what shutting down actually means and what you can do to minimize it in yourself.

Every single person is capable of having a passion, or even multiple. Therefore, every person is capable of being curious and delighting in knowing more than they already do, whether it’s on one subject or many. This doesn’t have to be even remotely related to work or school. It could be bowling or underwater basket weaving or anything else. It doesn’t matter what it is. Every person is able to be passionate about something, no matter how big or small, smart or “stupid” their passion is.

I’m going to make a statement that may be disagreed with…. but maybe not. People are terrified to be curious. Not even to ask questions at work or in school, but just to wonder what could be if more information was known.

If my intuition is right, most people who read through the first sentence in this article don’t believe that they shut down and so maybe don’t know what happens when a person chooses not to. Sure, no one is able to maintain an open, positive mindset throughout all of life’s struggles. And even then, if you’re “mostly” open, you’re probably still a little hesitant to embrace change. All of that is completely normal.

People are interesting in how they work. This is known. A lot of what I’m referencing right now are what psychology calls “defense mechanisms.” So how does all of this relate to curiosity and being free to use one’s imagination and curiosity? You would be surprised.

Quick anecdote: I have a friend who was told almost their entire life that they were dumb. They came to believe it, and accepted it as fact until some life changing events happened. Watching him come out of that negative mindset blew me away. In those times talking to my friend, I realized he didn’t really want to listen to what I was saying to him. Not really. He had been told something (looking at you underfunded K-12 schooling system) that simply wasn’t fact, and the truth was swept under the rug. People like this are a large reason why I am writing this article.

Curiosity, though. To be fair we’ve all had different biases or judgments placed on us inaccurately throughout our lives. That’s just how people work. We judge because spending all that time to make a truly informed decision is far too difficult while balancing other mental priorities. Or in the case of my friend, teachers balancing other students all at the same time (underfunded, I know).

Imagine how much more productive a happy, fulfilled work force would be? What if students knew that, just because they don’t do well at filling in bubbles on paper (Hello Scantron), they aren’t dumb? How about inmates finally being able to work on a craft or a trade inside the prison so as to reduce recidivism?

All of these policies that we have through government and employers don’t do nearly enough to find the true talent that lies in each of us.

THE AFTERMATH

All of this is to say that each of us is capable of having a passion. This by its very nature means every person is capable of being curious and maintaining that mindset. This situation then becomes one of motivation and choice.

Find your passion. Even if you don’t get paid for doing it, directly, it will pay off in higher work performance anyway as you will be much happier. Call that a win-win.

Finally, just because you have your dream job, doesn’t let you off the hook of finding a passion outside of your work. You will be a healthier, more rounded person for following this piece of advice.

Choose to be curious. Choose to imagine a better life for yourself and those you care about. Then go make it happen.

Thanks for reading.

#curiosity #successmindset #positivity

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

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can u do a blurb about reader wanting a baby and asking her co-worker Spencer to be the donor because he's smart and nice and she wants a cute baby?

you said blurb and i read 2K word fic apparently lmao

Late nights behind a desk were the worst. Y/N hated reading over case file, after case file, of horrific things as she tried to choose where they went next.

The only plus side was that she wasn’t alone, Spencer was at his desk just beside her. Like he always was. They had an interesting friendship, to say the least.

Ever since Y/N joined the BAU, Spencer and her were glued at the hip. They had all the same interests, liked the same music and movies, and they spat out information the same way, they were like each other’s dorky other half— but it was just a friendship.

They had a tradition to watch at least one movie together after a case, to just chill for a bit together. Always randomly picking one of their apartments to go to, spending the night together until one of them eventually wandered off to bed. Leaving the other on the couch.

They weren’t aware of their feelings for each other for a while. Both of them being so used to being alone, and never having anyone be interested in them before. It was hard to understand if the feelings they had were pure friendship, or if it could ever be more. If the sex would fuck everything up and take away that perfect happy place they found in each other, or would it make the bond stronger?

She noticed the crush before Spencer showed any signs of liking her back. She woke up every morning thinking of him, that's when she came to the conclusion that it was more than just a friendship. She wanted him in her life forever, she wanted to kiss his perfect lips and hug his soft body, wake up beside his messy hair and just love him for the rest of eternity.

She sighed as she picked up another file, not excited to learn about the horrible acts taking place in what people called, “the best country in the world.” She’d disagree any day of the week.

This one was a file about some missing kids apparently being spotted in a van altogether in Georgia, it looked interesting enough to be the next case. She hated reading all the info, seeing every kid's happy face in the file knowing that’s not how they looked now.

“Good god,” she groaned as she flipped through the case.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked over the divider.

“Nothing,” she shrugged, “just a bad case.”

She handed it to him over the desk, hearing him flip through all the sheets as he read a million words a minute. “We should show this to Emily first thing,” Spencer agreed, pushing himself over to her desk in his wheely chair.

“I will,” she smiled softly, taking the file back from him and placing it on her desk.

Spencer stood then, making his way into her space and rubbing his hand over her back slightly. “Are you okay?”

She sighed, “actually. no, I was telling Garcia I want to have a baby soon, and then I see things like this and I’m scared to do it alone but I don’t have any other option?” Ranting to him like he was her therapist.

“What do you mean?”

She turned in her chair to look up at him, his soft brown eyes really caring to hear the answer. “Sit,” she insisted.

He pulled the chair over more, sitting close enough that their knees touched. “I’m 36, I’m not having any luck finding a husband or a wife, I want a baby and if I have to do it myself I will, but what if I’m not enough? What if I have a boy and he grows up to be a killer cause he never had a dad?”

“Y/N,” Spencer’s voice was soft as he looked at her with a confused scrunch on his face. “That couldn’t happen, you’re a wonderful person, I love having you on the team and in my life, I know you’d raise good kids, you should do it.”

“Really?” She beamed at him, the words touching her heart and making her swoon a bit.

“I mean, it would be hard,” he added reason to the conversation. “You’d have to take time off, which would be good for bonding. My mother raised me alone and I turned out semi-fine, I don't hold any resentment for her not finding someone for me to call dad or even step-mom for that matter. I think if you give them all the love in the world like I know you’re capable of, your child will love you like you’re their whole world.”

She laughed as she noticed the tears welling in her eyes, waving her hand's in front of her face so she wouldn’t fully sob. “Do you want to be the donor?” She made a joke to change the topic.

Spencer laughed then too, “sure!”

Everything got serious again then, she looked at him a little differently. “Really? Cause honestly, you’re like a Grade A donor profile in the most expensive clinic!” She couldn’t help herself from laughing again at the absurdity.

“I’ve always wanted to be a dad, 40 isn’t too old to have a child, is it?” He seemed to have decided that rather fast.

“Okay,” she nodded with a smile, “okay. That’s cool, sick,” she felt the words get smaller as she thought it over.

“I get it if you were kidding,” Spencer spat out. “I realize now that you might have been making a joke, I hope it’s not weird that I agreed so fast, it’s just that I think you’re a very beautiful and smart woman and the idea of helping you make a child makes me really excited. I think it would be a very good idea if you were being serious, but I get it if you’re not.”

She let him get it all out, always loving when he got like this on a case or in person, nervous or just because he wanted to talk, she loved to listen. And no one ever let him finish his thoughts, always wanting to beat him to the punch.

“Spence, I think you’re really handsome and smart too,” she smiled. “If you’re also serious, I am too.”

“How would we?” He asked as he pulled at the top button of his dress shirt, swallowing like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden.

“If you’re not opposed, I’m sure the good old-fashioned way would work?” She laughed, laying her hand on his knee softly.

It was like sparks flew at that moment as if all the fluorescent lights in the bullpen could have exploded and she wouldn’t have even noticed. Captivated by Spencer's eyes as he gasped at her touch.

“Not opposed in the slightest,” he said softly as he held his own hand over hers.

She couldn’t help herself from smiling. “Well, I think I’m all done here if you want to come to my place for a movie?”

“Sure,” he replied, offering her a hand as they stood up together.

He returned his chair to his desk, both of them grabbing their coats and bags and rejoining at the door.

“I should go say goodnight to Penny,” Y/N said softly. “Wanna come?”

“Yeah,” he followed her through the door and down the hall to the tech room.

“Knock knock,” Y/N said as she walked through the open door. “Oh great and knowledgeable one, I’ve come with my nightly farewell.”

“Oh my knight, I shall miss you,” Penelope played along, sauntering over to her and wrapping her up in a hug. “I leave you with this until your return.”

“Through scorching deserts, and blistering winds, I will make it back to you, always,” she tried not to laugh as she hugged her back. “I also brought forth the jester.”

Spencer was laughing in the doorway as the two of them looked at him, “hi?”

“The pretty boy, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Um,” Y/N smiled, “Spencer and I are just going back for our nightly movie.”

Penelope looked at both of them, jaw slightly gaped, “nightly? I thought it was a case by case thing?”

“It’s a good excuse for us to talk,” Spencer smiled at her.

“Mhmm,” she smirked, “well have fun.”

She pulled Y/N back into another hug, hiding her face from Spencer, “I need all the dirty deets in the morning.”

Y/N smacked her arm softly as she pulled back, “goodnight pretty penny.”

“Farewell brave knight, handle with care, Jester,” Penelope pointed her finger at him, giving him a knowing glance.

“Yes, oh Knowledgeable one, always,” he blushed.

He reached out his hand for Y/N, interlocking their fingers as they left her office and headed towards the elevator. A rare moment of bravery on his part, holding hands like this didn’t spread a lot of germs.

“We’re going to have to discuss a lot of logistics like realistically this isn’t going to be just a fuck and oh look its a baby. This is a real live baby that we need to raise and care for,” she reminded him as the elevator doors shut.

“I’d like to be as involved as you’d let me be,” Spencer replied. “I don’t have to be 'dad' to them, I could be uncle Spence that’s fine too.”

“Oh no, you’d be Dad for sure,” she nudged him slightly. “I mean like, weekends and holidays and birthdays, your mom will want to see them surely, my parents will want to see them. Housing,” she looked at him horrified. “I have an apartment with 2 bedrooms, I don’t think I could let them sleep somewhere without me.”

“I have been looking at houses,” Spencer added before the doors opened to the garage, “you’re driving right?”

“Yeah, you were saying?” She replied, digging her keys out of her purse and leading him towards the car.

“Derek Morgan, I’m not sure if you’ve met him yet, he fixes up old homes in DC and Virginia now. He just finished one and I helped him with it. I think I’m going to buy it from him. It has 4 bedrooms, we could all live under the same roof? It would be easier to co-parent.”

She was amazed at how fast he adapted to this as if he’d been having the same thoughts she was having. At a certain point wanting kids becomes a pipe dream filled with desperation and emptiness, he looks like he’s experienced it too.

She opened her door and sat down before replying to him again. Thinking about how wonderful he was going to be during this process, “thank you, Spencer.”

“For what?” He asked as they both closed their doors.

She sighed, relaxing into her seat as she started the car. She turned to him softly, not wanting to cry as she spoke softly. “Being a mom is more of a dream to me than joining the BAU was, this is the best gift you could give me.”

He reached his hand out again, holding it softly. Running his thumb over her knuckles. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” she nodded softly.

He couldn’t make eye contact with her, staring at their hands as he rubbed her skin.

“Um, I’ve been pretty infatuated with you since you joined,” he let it out finally. Like a ton of bricks off his back he relaxed a bit, “after everything with Maeve, Cat and Max… oh god, and JJ... I was so worried that if I got too close to you I’d lose you. I tried to keep the feelings in, that's why I said what I did to Penelope. She knows how I feel about you.”

It was like fireworks were going off in her chest as the butterflies erupted inside of her. She sat up, turning to him more and ripping her hand from his grasp.

It startled him, he looked at her anxiously as if she was going to yell at him. But she placed both hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss.

His arms snaked around her waist, wishing they could get closer if it wasn’t for the damn centre console of her car. Pressing their lips together, hard, as they breathed each other in. Desperation taking control, she wasn’t able to let go of him.

When she finally did pull away, however, the look on his face was priceless. Like expensive art, every line and freckle had a meaning. He was surprised, enamoured, grateful, desperate for more.

She smiled softly, rubbing her thumbs over his cheek. “Good, cause it would be awkward having your baby and not getting to love you every day too.”

taglist: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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ryoceann · 3 years

Note

Hi. Itk here. Believe me, don't, doesn't matter. Thought I'd drop (after you summoned ha) by given the chaos and try to enlighten the ones who choose to believe me, as much as I'm capable of.

The first thing I wanna say is: stop trying to figure out their relationship. You most likely never will. Fans are stuck on both extremes, when the actuality of it is far more in the middle (perhaps even up or down and all around ha). It's complex and strange and not at all "normal" (as normal as they could be, anyways).

It's not as simple as "oh they're just a closeted couple who engage in bearding and have kids and behind closed doors they're just a regular, old married couple and a big, happy rainbow family".

Doesn't sound like itk info, believe me, I get that but observing the fandom I'd say it almost is because most fans simply hang on extreme simplistic ideas of what their relationship is.

Second thing I'd like to say and unfortunately seems like it's not at all obvious but: do not believe anything they share publicly. Not saying they're lying compulsively, but they are public figures and they have a lot at stake to just casually drop the actual truth of any given situation.

Just don't. The same salt you have regarding itks, have towards them. It'd do you some good...Believe me. Unless you are involved in the entertainment or political life, you cannot even begin to fathom what it's really like, the level of manipulation, falsehood and well, overall deviation of it. It's quite disturbing tbh. So just always take whatever's said and shown with a good amount of salt. With public people hardly anything is accidental or casual.

I think the most prominent question now is...Why? Why would they do something like that? Regardless if you have the ingenuity to believe the little scene they made or not...Still, the question lingers.

With my level of "in the knowness" I cannot for sure say the real reason, yet from the pieces I've collected so far, seems to be a multiple gain scheme. It was a high risk, they were well aware, and it paid out in the way they were expecting, minus small bumps here and there. But overall it seemed to have worked in their favor. How in the hell, one would ask?

Believe me, I used my best sneaky capabilities to find out exactly why but they were smart enough to keep this one locked tight, minus a few loose lips. And from those all I've heard was that "whatever the purpose was, it worked out".

As weird as it may sound to the innocent mind, it's actually not at all, given that even leaked nudes are not at all leaked or accidental, and those tend to (at least in the past) get immense amount of backlash. It's not the first time famous folks fake a fight, surely won't be the last.

A lot goes into public image, it's not black and white as "well but it looked bad on Jensen", "it looked bad on the prequel", etc. You'd be surprised as how little this truly matters given the level of manipulation they are able to pull on the public. And well, even with them...It happens all the time. Both made mistakes far worse than just "not telling my bestie about my new project" and fans would eventually let that go and put them back on the pedestal.

So just remember, always: not in the industry? then don't judge anything because you simply do not understand how it works.

Another piece of itk information I can give besides "this was planned and it worked" is: they are fine. From what I've heard they are not fighting over it or going through anything more dramatic than what they usually have been going through ever since they met haha.

So just sit back and chill out. Breathe, read fanfiction and remember that we will never truly get answers, because even what comes out of their mouths are most of the time carefully thought out and directed to have a specific meaning and effect (why do you think Jared mumbles and rambles so much?).

Another interesting piece of itk: you know how they always say they never fight? Even though that sounds insanely hard to believe even if they were just friends because who knows someone for that long and is constantly together and never fights? Unlikely, right? Yes, as obvious as that was. But unfortunately a lot of you seem to believe that, given the level of shock you had for this little twitter feud (as fake as it was). Yeah. They fight. A lot.

They fight as much as individuals in their situation would. Like I said, not at all what most people absentmindedly seem to think it is. They go through a lot. Way more than anyone who isn't in a similar situation would understand. It's messy, although they try their best to make it simpler in the ways they can.

On top of being in a very complex situation, they both have strong personalities and one of them is quite hard to "pin down". So altercations happen a lot, but they know how to deal, and they are exceptionally good at making sure that doesn't interfere in their work (oh well, at least not any work that doesn't benefit from intense emotional exchanges, anyways 😉...chemistry isn't something random, you know? haha).

I find it quite...interesting (to put it nicely) that a lot of hats easily believe they are a couple that lies constantly about almost every aspect of their lives, yet, they cannot believe they would fake a social media narrative. It makes no sense whatsoever.

It'd do you all good to be a little less tendentious and look at them as, you know...Humans? They are not what they seem to be, just as you guys also take in different versions of yourselves in different situations, they do too. And don't be so hopelessly naive to actually believe they see fans as "hashtag family". This is their work. And as grateful as they are for supporters, they certainly do not consider them family. To the point of never lying and trusting you with their life.

I'm sure they love their fans, but come on, saying they would never lie because that's mean to fans is just beyond naive. They've been doing it all along and oh, another interesting info? They don't think they're doing anything wrong.

Yeah, sounds weird, you'd think they'd feel guilty. But again, unless you were media trained, you'd never get it.

From years now if there's one consistent info I've gotten was this: they don't feel obligated to tell you anything. They believe they are doing "what they are supposed to do, the right thing for everyone involved".

So. Yeah. And hell, they are right about not being obligated to say anything about anything, I guess.

Well, I hope that was helpful or at least entertaining. It's hard to share info without accidentally making it obvious who I am for the lurkers (sure you guys were well aware that they lurk around the fandom). But it's safe because as long as I don't provide evidence, I'm fine. Just walking a thin line between sharing and not sharing something too specific that would be easy fir them to know who has that info and although they can't do anything against itks, they can manage to cut us off somehow and I enjoy having access lol, so that'd be a bummer.

Anyways, take itks and J2 themselves with a ton of salt haha! You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!

itk anon everything you said was <333 and i agree with like almost all of it. very nice analysis and ask thank you ! i don't always believe everything j2 put out but the whole stunt being a false narrative just seems wrong so idk what to make of it. regardless i myself can sometimes get carried away in my star-struck love of j2. and i am a tinhat so well :) and now they look to be really good and taking a break from here was well worth it <3

''You are lovely, btw, you seem very kind and I enjoy your blog very much! much love!'' i love u so much hope u have a great day !

#anon ask #this was long jfc #ily anon <3 #j2 tinhat #prequel gate

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yoonpobs · 3 years

Text

love language | myg

pairing: min yoongi x oc

genre: FLUFF, that's it

warnings: this is just so cute and self-indulgent lol

words: 5, 123

summary: how min yoongi loves you

“You know there isn’t a point in inviting me out for brunch to only sigh and stab your overpriced meal with a fork right? I already see you enough on a daily basis and I think I’m exceeding my _____ quota for the month.” Jimin says dryly.

Usually, you’d quip back with an equally brute remark of your own but there’s something far heavier lingering at the back of your mind. A territory you weren’t quite sure how to navigate and vocalise. Jimin picks up on your silence and stamps it as odd behaviour because you were far more … hands-on when it came to your retorts but today you’re dead quiet.

Jimin leans forward on his elbows to give you a concerned look when you still silently assault your meal with the fork in your grip.

“… is this even _____?”

You look up and your expression is unimpressed. Jimin raises his arms up in defense before retreating to the comfort of his plush sofa chair—a product of allowing him to choose the venue for your dire brunch that and the cost was your empty wallet and every last bit of your mental health.

“What do you think of Yoongi?”

The question throws Jimin off not because he has no idea who that is—but because you were shy and timid. A soft-spoken person by nature that liked keeping to yourself and that was a huge juxtaposition in terms of your friendship with Jimin because he was everything you were not. He was loud, the biggest person in every room, and the person that everyone knew on campus.

Your friendship was an unlikely occurrence even for your lecturers when they’d glance at you from the hallways or when your peers would eye you oddly when they’d see Jimin partaking in every extra-curricular there was available and while you chose to do your own thing, far away from the action and where you were safely kept in your own bubble.

Jimin is surprised because you were already very private, and as your best friend, he didn’t take any offense to that when you didn’t share matters of your life with him. He already overcompensated for the fact that all he did was talk about his personal life—which you didn’t mind either. It was a healthy balance and a give and take that the two of you found a pattern with.

So for you to bring up the name of your boyfriend—which Jimin only knew because he caught a glimpse of a name with a heart and a text with the word ‘date’ attached to it—was definitely out of character.

“Yeah. This definitely isn’t _____,” Jimin says, “I’d like her back, please. I need someone to have no backbone so I can trample on her without her ever complaining.”

You glare at him even harder and stab the lettuce on your plate harder.

“You know what? Forget it …” You mutter, pushing your plate away from you.

Jimin levels you with a wry look and reaches his hand out to stop you from being overdramatic with your actions. Since you weren’t the best with words, you naturally compensated for being a little excessive with your actions in hopes for other people to be able to pick up on your hints. And as your best friend—Jimin knew that you were bottling something inside and wanted him to pry.

“You know this trick isn’t going to work on me, right?” Jimin points out, “And as much as I call myself the self-proclaimed genius between the two of us I can’t read minds so you’re going to need to elaborate on what you mean by ‘what do I think of Yoongi’.”

You scowl and fiddle with your fingers when Jimin gives you a look that tells you that you should speak up or forget about it. Sometimes you hated the fact that Jimin was confident and assured of himself, never avoiding confrontation while all you did was dodge it. Another reason why your friendship was unlikely but somewhat necessary.

“As my friend … what do you think of Yoongi—” You mumble, “—for me.”

Jimin raises an eyebrow at your soft tone.

“For … you?” He parrots your question back.

Your ears burn and you feel stupid enough asking Jimin about his opinion on Yoongi when you already felt flustered even mentioning his name to anyone that wasn’t yourself.

“Jimin …” You whine.

“Don’t Jimin me,” He snaps, “You know my hearing is bad.”

You roll your eyes and cast your eyes downwards to your abandoned plate as you pick at the skin around your nails, a habit you’ve picked up from Yoongi. Though you can’t really say that you picked it up from him since it was also a nervous routine of yours but knowing that Yoongi shared that in a different way made it feel like you got it from him.

Jimin sighs.

He wasn’t being harsh on you—in fact, this was him encouraging you to open up because while he was all hard and edges, and possibly overbearing at times; he respected you and loved you as a friend. You were never mean, rude or disrespectful and even if the two of you were fundamentally different in nature, you co-existed peacefully and were able to share little things in common that made the interactions between the two of you fruitful.

And he knew that speaking of your relationship with Yoongi was hard not because he was treating you horribly (at least he hopes so) but because you had the tendency of solving all your problems yourself. Even ones that were far out of your range of capability, and as someone who has received an abundance of help and advice from someone as soft-spoke as you—he wanted to be able to reciprocate somehow.

“Are the two of you okay?” Jimin asks.

You nod your head.

“We are … I just—well …” You mumble, “I just want your opinion.”

Jimin raises his eyebrow because he didn’t want you to feel like he needed his approval for you to date Yoongi. He trusted you and knew that you were smart enough to let the people you felt the same way about in.

“Babe, you don’t need my opinion. You’re the one in the relationship with him and as long he’s not being manipulative, abusive or an unwarranted jackass then I have no right to interfere in your relationship.” Jimin frowns.

You sigh.

“No, no … it’s not like that,” You shake your head, “I just wanted to know what you think of him … as a person.”

Your request is odd for multiple reasons, but mostly because of the timing because it seemed like a question you’d pose before the two of you made it official but this question came eight months into the relationship.

“I don’t think I can give you an answer _____. My interactions are limited with Yoongi as it is and I can’t give you an objective answer without sounding like a complete asshole if I judge him based on the way he looks.”

“Why would you sound like an asshole?” You furrow your brows.

Jimin shoots you a deadpan.

“Min Yoongi is the poster boy of the average college girl’s wet dream and he checks all the boxes of fitting all the stereotypes of a brooding, mysterious jock with a secret that he hides only for a girl to swing into his life and change his outlook completely. He’s quiet—quieter than you—and downright intimidating. It doesn’t help that you don’t want me hanging out with him just yet—which I totally respect by the way—so that just adds to his aloof aura.”

You blink at Jimin.

The description of Yoongi based on his outward appearance is … apt. But not what you were looking for. You knew that when you first saw Yoongi at band practices was when you first decided that you were scared of good-looking people. Albeit Jimin was also insanely attractive but he had an atmosphere around him that made people feel comfortable. Not that Yoongi actively made people uncomfortable … but he radiated major celebrity vibes that it was intimidating to get close to him.

Until small talks happened to shared giggles and him eventually asking you out informally, a context outside of your band practices that you saw glimpses of Yoongi that no one else did. He was soft, understanding, and though a little bad at expressing how he feels … but he was Yoongi and you liked him.

You might even love him, but there are times where you’re hesitant about your relationship.

“I think I love him.” You squeak.

Jimin’s eyes widen, another surprise for him for the day because you’ve just ignored his very superficial description of your boyfriend, which he half-expected you to be mad at. But for you to say that you thought you were in love with him was just a reaction he was not expecting at all.

“You—okay?” Jimin scrunches his eyebrows, “I’m happy for you, I really am! But … that doesn’t explain why you need my opinion?”

You breathe out and will yourself to look at Jimin’s face, even with the burn of your cheeks.

“You’re my … best friend, Jimin.” You say softly.

Jimin’s eyes ease on your timid features before he reaches out a comforting hand to grab onto your own, nudging you to look into his eyes. Even though Jimin was outgoing as it is, the reason why you stayed friends was that he took the time to understand you and adapt to you even when he didn’t need to. He knew that you were just shy and he never berated you for it, which is why you wanted him to know how you felt—because what he thought was important too.

“_____, love,” Jimin whispers, and you offer a weak smile, “I’m happy for you. Truly. Being in love is a beautiful feeling and I don’t need to be in love with a person to tell you that because love exists everywhere. It exists in the small things that make you smile or giggle when you come across it, and it exists in the way you do the things you adore and achieve your goals. But you don’t need me—or anyone’s—validation to love Yoongi. Love is so personal and so collective at the same time but it’s yours.”

You swallow and hope that you don’t cry in the middle of this posh and overpriced place, and it’s partially because Jimin sounded so earnest when he was talking to you but also because of the ruminating thoughts that plague your mind that made you suggest this brunch in the first place.

“I think I’m in love with him and he doesn’t feel the same.” You sniffle.

Jimin’s grip on your hand tightens momentarily along with his jaw, but he doesn’t want to act irrationally just yet.

“Why do you say that?” He asks tenderly.

You sniff and the tip of your nose turns red and Jimin wants to pat you on the head to comfort you, but the two of you are in public and he knew you hated being vulnerable in general—especially in the public eye.

“It’s just—it’s just—” You stutter, “You know how shy I am and how hard it is for me to … ask for things …”

When he hears your soft tone as your eyes dart away from his face, possibly embarrassed, he rubs a soothing thumb across your knuckles and listens to you intently.

“But I really try with Yoongi … because I want him to know how much I-I like him,” You whisper, “And every time I tell him how much I like him he just … he just smiles and looks away. Like he doesn’t—doesn’t feel the same.”

Jimin absorbs your words before he smiles softly at you. He understood how difficult it must’ve been for you because this was your first official relationship with someone who looked very closed off, to begin with, but based on your very short and rapt descriptions from time to time, Jimin could say that Yoongi wasn’t a bad person.

“Have you considered that he shows his love a different way?” Jimin asks.

You look up at him confused.

“Huh?”

Jimin chuckles before offering you a small tissue, and you meekly accepted it as you dab at your waterline.

“We all have different ways of giving and receiving love, _____.” He tells you, “No person loves the same and no one feels the same type of love. We are all different because that’s in our nature. And like I said—I don’t know Yoongi well enough to say that he has a specific type of love language but if he’s stuck around for this long … it has to mean something, right?”

Your brunch with Jimin leaves you with something else to think about.

Perhaps you were a little shallow—narrow-minded if you will. But you trusted Jimin, and you decided to see what he meant. You knew that you didn’t have the stereotypical love of shows or movies because while it did depict some form of reality, it was heavily sensationalised and exaggerated. But you never considered that Yoongi had a way of his own, one that was personal and unique to him.

Yoongi never made you feel like you weren’t enough. But the lack of the words that sit on your tongue also made you feel like he didn’t feel the same. It was never what he did, but how you felt. It was irrational, but he was objectively a very attractive person. In more ways than how he looked but the way, he treated others.

He’s mellow and gentle. Words never harsh but sharp enough to make people think. He’s efficient and kind when he wants to be and you see the way he treats his friends and staff at restaurants, even if he’s a little quiet too. The two of you were somewhat similar, but you felt so much for him that you somehow overlooked that one part—that maybe he was quiet in the way he loved too.

But you didn’t want to get your hopes up because while you weren’t … horrible. You weren’t anything spectacular either. You did decently in school, had a decent friend group that mainly consisted of you, Jimin and his other best friend, Taehyung—who told you that you were as much of his best friend like you were Jimin’s—and your bandmates that you shared with Yoongi.

Yoongi was quiet but collateral. He excelled in school, topped his classes two terms in a row, and produced impeccable music on the side. He was charismatic when he had to be an extremely introspective that you sometimes felt lacking when you hear him speak about the world and people.

Maybe that’s why he just smiles and looks away because Yoongi is too kind to break your heart, and his eyes tell the truth.

Maybe that’s why he doesn’t—

“______?” Yoongi calls your name and snaps you out of your daydream.

“Huh?” You respond dazedly and he just smiles at you, gentle as always before he nudges your shoulder slightly forward to place a—pillow?—in between your back and the chair that you were sitting on in his apartment.

“I’ve read somewhere that this helps with your posture.” He tells you, “You said you were having lower back pains so this may help.”

You blink at him and then at your assignments sprawled on his dining table, before turning your head to spot the pillow that you remember gifting him as a small present months back, behind your back, and in between you and the chair. The tension in your lower back does feel alleviated, and you turn back to Yoongi to offer him a gentle smile.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” You say softly.

He smiles at you and the simple gesture makes your stomach flutter with butterflies and your heartbeat a little faster. It’s crazy that the simplest of acts could turn you into mush and that he’s had your heart captive. The word sits on your tongue but fear wins over again.

He brushes stray hands of hair that falls by the side of your face, away, before gathering it with his hand at the back of your neck and tying it with a rubber band that you remember leaving at his place a while back.

“How can you see with your hair in the way?” He scolds, but it’s light.

You scoff, giving him a glare but it’s playful too. It does feel better like you have a clearer vision of the work that you were doing.

“Don’t be mean …” You mumble.

Yoongi laughs and it’s your favourite sound after the bell of your favourite bakery.

You like this look on him, eyes crinkled and mouth open in a gummy grin that you were the cause of. The will to say the word becomes harder, the way he leans in to peck you on the lips makes your mouth move on its own accord.

So before you can justify your actions, you say—

“I love you.”

The words are out and it seems to linger in the air because of the silence. You’re mortified, one because you had just blurted it out in the most unromantic setting ever, but secondly, because Yoongi is just … looking at you again. Like he always does when you tell him how much you like him—a soft smile, but this time his eyes are trained on yours.

The fire on your cheeks feels all the hotter when you know there’s nowhere to hide, or no way to retract your words because you didn’t want to. You loved him—and his silence only solidifies your guesses on the unrequitedness of your love.

“I-I’m sorry!” You yelp, covering your face with your hands, “I-I didn’t—I know that you—I didn’t mean to say that!”

Yoongi continues to look at you and he’s inching closer to you until your locked against your chair, his arms resting around your back as his other elbow leans on the table when he brings his face closer to yours.

“You love me?” He whispers and his breath is on your lips.

Even as you’re overcome with the fact that you do indeed love him, and that he doesn’t feel the same. You can’t bring yourself to deny it, not when your heart has always been for him and your words a reflection of your own heart.

“Y-Yes,” You mumble, eyes looking away, “I’m sorry …”

Yoongi furrows his eyebrows and pulls away from you. The warmth of his body suddenly gone and it reminds you that you may have overstepped. That he realised that you were in too deep and couldn’t just leave you. It scared you, but the silence scares you more.

“Why are you apologising?”

You gulp, looking away but Yoongi nudges your chin to look at him gently. His eyes are still confused, but kind. The look that usually comforts you only makes anxiety settle in the pit of your belly.

“I know you don’t feel the same … it’s okay. I understand. I’m a little … hard to love … I know. B-But it’s okay. You don’t need to say it—at all. I can … I can deal with it. Just please don’t leave me.” You whimper.

Yoongi pulls away completely as if he’s been scathed. You don’t have anything else to say but you’re appalled to find your vision getting blurry and the lump in your throat getting unbearable. But you try not to cry, especially when Yoongi looks torn.

But he doesn’t do what you’re expecting and tells you that it’s over, but instead, he returns into your space, making you forget about your embarrassment and cups your cheeks ever so gently while looking at you with ardent eyes.

“Please don’t cry …” He whispers.

And you hate that you do. You cry because he’s holding you so gently and his hands feel warm against your cheek. You cry because you love him and he doesn’t feel the same. You cry because all your cards are out on the table and he’s seen it all.

“I-I’m sorry.” You choke.

Yoongi’s eyes soften before he leans in, pressing a gentle press onto your lips that has your tears in the way as a barrier. You’re still choking on your sobs but his kiss feels comforting and painful at the same time. You want to push him away but you’re selfish—you love him and the feeling of him holding you close like he may feel the same.

When he pulls away, he looks at you again with a gentle, yet intense gaze.

“You’re not hard to love,” He murmurs, “It was so easy falling in love with you because you’re my person. You’re the person that I look forward to seeing every day and the person that I think about the most. Please don’t ever say that you’re hard to love because falling in love with you was the easiest thing that I’ve done in my entire life.”

Your eyes widen, especially when he looks you directly in your own. Your eyes are a little puffy and you’re sure it’s an unattractive sight.

But Yoongi thinks you’re beautiful. He always does. He thinks you’re beautiful when you see him after your classes. He thinks you’re beautiful when you broke the plate you wanted to give his mother as a gift. He thinks you’re beautiful when you’ve just woken up and he thinks you’re beautiful when you’re laughing with his friends and your bandmates.

“I—I—you … you love … me?” You rasp.

Yoongi still has a soft hold on your cheeks, and he feels the wetness of your tears stain his hands but he’s unbothered. He’s more bothered about what you said. The way his heart clenches makes him feel like he’s not done enough. That he could do better to never be the reason for the sadness along with your tears.

“I love you. I do. So much.” He whispers, “You’ve made me feel the kind love that I never thought existed.”

You sob harder and you feel a little pathetic crying in his arms because … how could you have doubted him? You feel relieved and happy, and a little frustrated because you were insecure on your own terms. Even now that you know he loves you—you’re sceptical because he’s Yoongi and you’re you.

Yoongi tugs you into his arms and caresses you with the warmth of his hold, hand patting your head gently. He feels mellow and close while he allows you to cry a little longer. The silence isn’t suffocating anymore, but your mind runs wild with insecurities that you can’t help but—

“Do you really love me?” You ask softly.

Yoongi doesn’t let you go, but you feel him nod and hum against your head.

“I do.”

You nibble on your lips and clutch his t-shirt.

“Then w-why … why do you just smile and look away when I tell you how much I like you?”

Yoongi stays silent for a while, but you don’t take it as a bad sign. Even with your small arguments with him from time-to-time throughout the eight months you’ve been together, Yoongi has never once raised his voice at you or acted irrationally. In fact, he’s always stayed a little quiet for a while, as if he was thinking of the appropriate way to handle the situation before he spoke.

It only made you love him more.

“I’m sorry.” He apologises, and you feel like shit when you realise you made him apologise to you for no reason but he continues before you can pull away—grip tight around your relaxed figure.

“I’ve been in love with you for months,” His confession makes you gasp, the time that he’s mentioned only makes you a lot more confused, “I … this is the first time I’ve felt this way.”

You stay silent as Yoongi rubs gentle figures on your back, breathing into your hair as you rest your cheek on his chest.

“I’ve always been a little … quiet.” He tells you, “And maybe that’s why I felt so drawn to you because we were so similar. I saw you and thought that you were a beautiful person. That your kindness wasn’t empty promises but actions and your smiles weren’t forced but comforting.”

You feel your eyes water again because of Yoongi’s truthful words. Damn your boyfriend for being able to wax poetic.

“I’ve always found it hard to express things with words, despite writing songs like people eat their meals. My mom always told me that I was a doer rather than a sayer.” He jokes, and you find yourself giggling a little when you think of Yoongi’s mother.

A strong woman, her tongue was as sharp as her sons and you definitely see where he gets his wisdom from. She was louder spoken, confident—and yet she was gentle and kind. A person that drew people in.

“I do things for you because I love you, ______. I love you in a way that can last forever because I want it to. I want to love you in a way that you’ll remember and always think of me when you see the physical pieces left by the footprints of my affection.”

It should’ve been cheesy but Yoongi has a way with words to make you blush and your heart flutter.

His words register in you, and you feel blind to not have seen it the entire time.

Even before this, when he placed the pillow behind you to support your lower back—or when he tied your hair back so you could focus better. Or the time when he drove all the way from his hometown back to campus because you were performing a solo piece for band, then drove back to see his parents.

You remember the song he wrote to you for your birthday, accompanied by a book that you’ve put on your Wishlist for months. The memory of his gentle hands removing the face mask from your face when you’ve fallen asleep and tucking you into his bed pricks your mind.

Looking back—you remember feeling absolutely loved and adored. Even if you didn’t explicitly think of the word ‘love’—but you felt safe, comforted and accepted. And you realise that love isn’t one-dimensional. Love is everything that makes you feel complete.

When you look up at him, he’s still offering you the same gentle smile he does when you told him how much you liked him—to when you said you loved him. He still looks the same, smiles the same, and feels the same. It’s you.

“I’m sorry.” You wail.

His eyes widen but you don’t cry. You feel dumb, blind almost because he’s been nothing but loving towards you but it was you who had your doubts.

“Baby, please don’t apologise.” He runs a thumb across your cheek.

“I just—I can’t believe I accused you of not loving me when all you’ve been doing is—when all you’ve done is treat me amazingly. I feel so … stupid.” You groan.

Yoongi smiles at you and rubs his thumb in between your furrowed brows.

“You’ll get wrinkles if you frown all the time.” He tuts.

You glare at him through puffy eyes but hold on to him tighter.

“I really am sorry.” You mumble.

Yoongi hums.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve been more—explicit.”

You frown, pulling away.

“No Yoongi.” You say, “You loved me in your own way and I felt every bit of it. I just conflated the need of being reassured with words and being reassured in your gestures. I shouldn’t have doubted you and projected my insecurities onto you.”

"And it's not your fault for feeling insecure. I'm your boyfriend and I want to be able to reassure you in every way I possibly can. If you need to hear an I love you I'll shout it on top of the highest roof I can find—if you want to be held then I'll hold you and never let go."

Your heart flutters and you bask in his gentle words.

Yoongi wraps a gentle hand around the nape of your neck before bringing you closer, lips hovering right above your own before he closes the distance. His lips are warm and soft, and he doesn’t rush the kiss as if he was dealing with porcelain glass. But he knew you weren’t fragile and easily broken—but he still knew that you were someone that he wanted to care for, for a long time.

He kisses you and it feels right. It feels like you were returning home after months away.

When he pulls away ever so slightly to look into your eyes, breath still fanning on your lips—you feel welcomed.

“When I think of love I think of you. When I think of happiness your face appears in my mind. And when I think fo you, I think of what I can do to make the environment we have a little better for you. I love you, _____. And I’ll spend as long as I can reminding you.”

“Yoongi …” You blush because you didn’t know how romantic he could be when he wanted to.

“I’m serious, _____.” He looks at you seriously, “You know what my mom said when I brought you over?”

You raise an eyebrow because while you remember the meeting being absolutely pleasant, even if you did fumble and break the gift you brought. His mother only smiled at you, the same one that marks her son's face—and said that it was okay. It only meant that you should come again to compensate. Her tone was light and comfortable, and you immediately felt the tension be alleviated from your shoulders.

He takes the tilt of your head as his cue to continue.

“She said that she’s never seen me as expressive as I was when I was with you,” You snort at his exasperation, but you see the honesty that pours out, “Hyung even said that I’ve gotten soft.”

You roll your eyes when he tugs you closer by your chair until your legs were dangling by the side of his hips. Your arms are wrapped around his shoulders and Yoongi still smiles at you like it’s the most natural thing to do.

“But I like you soft …” You smile.

“And I love you with me.” Yoongi returns.

You blush, and you allow him to hold you close.

And in his arms, do you realise that some things didn’t need to be said.

#bts fic #bts fluff #bts fics #bts imagines #min yoongi fic #yoongi fic #min yoongi fluff #min yoongi x reader #yoongi imagine #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #bts yoongi #min yoongi imagine

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theodora3022 · 3 years

Text

Selfish Deeds (Yandere! Gojou Satoru)

Summary: Satoru just wants you to be free of danger. If you are so knowledgeable why can’t you understand that he only wish the best for you?

A/N: This is just one snippet of many out of a collection(haven't decide the name just yet)...Since I have not read the manga(anime-only for now) so I just got a vague impression of what Gojou has been through, but that does not stop me from writing him like the cocky bastard he is. Hopefully it is not too OOC(as if yandere variant itself is not OOC enough pfttt) The reader is a stubborn psycho because that is what I am :) Will there be some future pieces that involves nsfw elements? I got a few ideas but no promises.

I blame @popi-the-fatui for my Gojou brainrots. You got your revenge on me by making me attracted to this dubious man. Word count: 1.6k

Banner credit

Warnings: Female pronouns, Possessive behaviour, DELUSIONAL behaviour, non-consensual touching, power inbalance, general yandere content, slight mention of confinement and violence(This is not a healthy relationship dynamic!!!), reader is not a soft UWU girl, kthis is so self indulgent *buries myself into the bottomless pit of shame

It has been nearly fifteen minutes since the headquarter disconnected the call, yet you are still staring at your phone screen with disbelief.

You were supposed to travel to another city for a mission tomorrow, they had notified you of this mission a week ago.

You already got your luggage packed, and your theoretical research on the objective is thoroughly done. Then they dare to inform you: they have found a more suitable candidate! Right on the day before your departure too.

Your curse techniques have already limited you to more of a supporting role for most situations. There are not plenty of missions available for you to begin with. While you are content with educating the fresh blood of the community in classrooms the majority of the time, you still long for field actions every once in a while. It is an essential part of being a Jujutsu sorcerer after all.

Both you and the soft-spoken secretary who made the call know this is nonsense. The higher-ups recognize that you are one of, if not the best sorcerers available when it comes to reconnaissance and espionage.

Letting out a sigh of immeasurable frustration, you swore to yourself that you will find out who is the conductor of this humiliating turn of events. This is going to be difficult since you do not recall having any issues with any of the administration staff recently.

There is no reversing this misfortune, but at least you can be aware of who is responsible for such violation of conduct.

He is only doing this to protect you.

Gojou Satoru tells himself as such, at least.

He is aware of how unfair it is, to make someone less capable to take on the job. But he cannot risk your safety. The man has already got used to your company, and he is not willing to just let you disappear from his field of view for more than a week. Sure, you might have not admitted how much you like him yet, but it is just too endearing to see you flustered at his flirtatious words.

Although there have been some difficulties with rescheduling, he managed to use his connections to exclude you from that first-grade mission at last minute. On the bright side, the sorcerer cannot wait to lend you an ear to vent about how conservative and unfair the higher-ups can be. Maybe you will even say yes to a trip to the newest local bakery! You need some sweet treats to cheer yourself up, don’t you?

But Satoru has never thought about how you specialize in putting two and two together. (understandable since he never saw you in action before).

------------------

Strange, you are not near the usual area in the library.

Sensing his footsteps, you opened your office door before Satoru had a chance to knock.

“We need to talk, Gojou-san.” That expression is new. This is the first time he sees you genuinely angry, which is to be expected.

But somehow he got a bad feeling about this.

You did not even invite him to sit down, instead just standing next to the floor window, arm crossed, with your back turned to him.

“Why would you do such a thing?” You have to use up all of your self-control to prevent yourself from having a full blow-up right at Gojou Satoru. Maintain composure. But it is easier said then done.

Does he think this is funny? To sabotage someone else's sorcerer career like this? You knew you should have kept him out of your daily life, as he is nothing but trouble to you. But you made the mistake of choosing to tolerate him, and some superficial part of you might even enjoy his dallying words a bit too much.

To the extent, you overlooked some red flags. This is a grievous error indeed.

Shit, now that he vaguely remembers what role you play on missions.“(y/n)-chan, what are you saying-” He knows you always act in supporting positions, however, he has overlooked your actual abilities and curse techniques. You collect intel and spy on enemies, how could he forget that? “Don’t play dumb with me. You got your ways, I got mine. There is no use denying what you have done. I thought you out of all people would understand what it means to be a sorcerer.”

This is a violation of protocol, changing mission assignments at the last minute. However, you know this man would not be receiving any solid punishment should you decide to report this. They would say there is “no harm done” and you would just receive a pitiful apology. Suppose you cannot blame them though.

They need Gojou Satoru, the Jujutsu community needs his prowess to keep innocent people safe. He will remain in the system no matter what.

Why are you questioning his motives? Does he have to spell it out for you? Letter by letter?

“You are not a skilled combatant, (y/n)-chan. What if you got yourself hurt?” Or even worse, killed. It scares him to think that you could be gone one day, how he would walk by this office corridor and never sees you sitting behind the desk ever again.

Not much in this world could send Gojou Satoru a chill down his spine, yet the thought of you dying is now on the list. He knows how petty this is, you wouldn’t be the one doing the actual exorcising after all. But the if, the slight possibilty.

He cannot allow that to happen, not ever. Even that means angering you and getting yelled at.

“What am I, some normal lawful citizen? I am a sorcerer just like you, Gojou-san. Putting ourselves on the line for innocents is part of the deal.” You let out a few short, sarcastic giggles, narrowing your eyes at him with fury. “It’s funny that you, out of all people, fail to understand that. If I am needed I will do what I must. If this is some sort of sick joke, stop it already, not funny. ”

Blunt, unrelenting stubbornness. Not like that’s news for him, Satoru has lots of experience with that since the day your path crossed. Although he finds this quality to be adorable most of the time, it can pose major problems like the present.

Oh, he is not angry at you. Satoru is more outraged at himself, don’t you worry. On the contrary, he is rather intrigued by your sarcastic remarks! However…

Instead of walking towards where you stood near the window, the man decides to take a turn towards the door.

That flashing panic within your eyes did not escape his sight.

The illusion figure you were projecting near the window dissipated instantly once he got your left wrist in his hand. Concealing yourself and projecting illusions, a rare techique indeed.

“Clever tactic. Making yourself invisible, projecting a faux illusion to distract me, leaving the door open and staying close to the exit. Your curse techniques are impressive. I almost got fooled, job well-done (y/n)-chan.”

The grip on your wrist suddenly tightens, you have to bite your lip to hold back a hiss of pain. How can he still flash that casual, playful smile when committing such atrocity? Those damned cerulean blue eyes too, you are ashamed of how you tremble and (internally) swoon at it at the same time.

Efforts to get away would most likely be futile, but you have to try. “See, you underestimated your opponent. I do see why you are good with lurking in the shadows now. Do you have any idea what I am capable of though?” Such delicate hands, it would be a shame if they were to bruise.

It’s unnerving how easy it looks for him to maintain a solid grip on your wrist while you pull back with all of your might. You know Gojou Satoru is strong and all, but this simple demonstration of strength is devastatingly effective. “Let go of me, you bastard!”

To your surprise, he softens his grip and you finally distanced yourself from him, panting and guarded. “Who are you to decide what I should and what I should not do? I made it crystal clear on the first day that I do not like you for the slightest.”

You know the walls are thin and coworkers might heard you, but you will have to worry about it later. It is, sadly, a matter of fact that you are somehow attracted to him, but that does not give him the right to use it against you. You must not give in to the temptation.

“You are pretty slow on the uptake for someone so smart. I was thinking of doing this naturally, we can go on normal dates to coffee shops, amusement parks, or even the museum if that is what you wish for. But now I see you do not know how much you mean to me.” Do you think Gojou-san is only flirting with you for the fun of it? It might have been the case in the beginning, but that is not the case since...recently.

He did not stop you again when you turned away, giving him one last menacing look and disappeared from his sight, even if he could see the faint trace of your curse energy. You will return to him and apologize after you calm down, he is confident about that. You value your job way too much to quit.

Then he could finally pull you into his arms, saying he does not mind and forgive your childish tantrums. Satoru does not plan to lock you up in a cage or anything(yet)! The students adore you and they need your guidance. Your clan is insignificant compared to his, your influence? Does he even need to consider that?

Gojou Satoru would always achieve his goals by whatever means possible. You are no exception to this.

#yandere fanfiction #yandere jjk #yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere gojo #yandere gojou satoru #yandere x you #yandere gojou satoru x you #*screams into the sea of Quanta #I was a clown when I said I won't simp for him #tw: dark content #tw: yandere

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smallfrenchstudyblr · 3 years

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hey! you seem like you're a really good TA (? idk if that's the right term but you seem to have some prof/teacher tasks?) and i was wondering how you got the confidence to do that? i'm basically on your level of education but i wouldn't think i was smart/capable enough to judge other students' writing and stuff, i feel like one of them more than one of the teachers if you get what i mean. do you have any advice?

Hello !

That is such a thoughtful question - and I am sure all postgrads who suddendly have to start teaching feel the same at the beginning. In my opinion, it is a fairly healthy mindset to have, as long as it does not inhibit your own teaching and remain just some healthy awareness that, hey, you are still learning many things yourself.

I am very touched you think I am a good TA - I hope I manage to be a helpful one at least.d I definitely still often wonder "am I qualified to teach this ? To... grade this ? Who am I to say whether this is good work or not?" But here are a few thingsm coming both from my experience so far and my discussions with other TA, which could maybe be of help to you (each developed under the cut)

1. You know more than your students, and that will be enough to help them.

2. Teaching is a two way street : you are not lecturing to them, you are working with them.

2bis : Give constant verbal feedback to your students !

3. Your own experience of being an Undergrad may not be the best point of reference

4. Talk to other TAs ! You all face the same issues !

5. Try out things, and if they do not work, it's fine.

6. Organize your session alternating moments where you take the lead, and moments where students take the lead.

7. Help, My students are not talking !

8. Grading is tough, but we can make it easier.

I hope they will be of help, but no worries, it takes practice, trial and errors, and time will help you figure it out. Do not hesitate to come back here if you have any question or something you want to discuss ! (And tell me how your teaching went, I would love to hear it!)

1. You know more than your students, and that will be enough to help them.

It means you do not have to be an expert in the topic you teach. You may even just be familiar with it. But by virtue of being a postgrad student, you know how to do the reading effectively, you will get very quickly what is important, what to retain from this or that reading. And you just need to know more than your students. Which you absolutely will.

I think being passionate, showing that you are excited about what you are teaching, giving them this energy, this interest, is much much more important than being a full-blown expert in your area.

2. Teaching is a two way street : you are not lecturing to them, you are working with them.

And that is not me being vaguely pseudo-inspiration ; it is something I have learnt and truly realized when I took a course on teaching. There is much literature on this, but the take-away is that especially as a TA, it is helpful if you see your job as working with students. Engage with them, offer them different options to choose from during the session, explain that you are here to support their learning, and give them some space to have some agency over what happens ! Trust them to at least try their best - many are!- and they will trust you in return, and will be more likely to give you some feedback.

2bis : Give constant verbal feedback to your students !

This does not come easy to me, but students NEED to be told when they said something good ! Because if you do not tell them explicitely, how would they know that, hey, this was a pretty cool comment !

But also, be clear when answer or a point raised is not relevant or wrong, because it also guides their understand of the topic. "Ok, I can see why you would say that, but it's actually abit trickier...". "Ah, yes, it is very interesting that you raise it, it is a common misunderstanding and I am glad you are pointing it out, because it is an interesting discussion to have!"

3. Your own experience of being an Undergrad may not be the best point of reference

When I started teaching, I made the mistake of thinking "ok, what sort of TA/tutorial do I wish I had, in Undergrad?", and went with what I know I would have enjoyed. Except I am a passionate nerdy introvert who hated talking to my peers and doing group works, and wanted a TA who was no-bullshit, clear, professional. Most of your students are probably not, and may indeed enjoy group work, or the opportunity to connect with their peers during your tutorial. Most of your students will appreciate a TA who is more forthcoming, friendly, and may crack a joke or two. And it is a weird role to have, it may clash with your personality (it definitely clashes with mine), but it's ok if it takes time to find the right zone for you ! It is absolutely part of the process !

4. Talk to other TAs ! You all face the same issues !

Pooling experience with other TAs is fantastic. Because no matter what issue you are facing, one of them faced it already. How do you teach in the shitty Room 605 where the computer does not work ? How do they deal with students who do not do the readings ? How to they handle lack of motivation from students ? What sort of group work do they organize ? Who sort of online tools do they rely on ? How do they deal with all the emails they get ? And on that note...

5. Try out things, and if they do not work, it's fine.

Do not be afraid to try things. I tend to stay away from "complex" activities which can confuse students, or rely too much on technology. But group work ? There are so many types of group work ! Why stick to just the "think of this question in group of 3 for 5 minutes", when you could do a syndicate, snowballing, 2-minutes essay, fishbowl, think-pair-share, buzz groups...

And sometimes, it will not work. Just... a bad session. And you feel that it's on you, that you did not manage to do your work, that you are a bad teacher... And refer to Point 2. Then, calmly, talk about it with another TA. Explain what you did, and try to get their opinion on it, reflect on it. But it is never all on you.

6. Organize your session alternating moments where you take the lead, and moments where students take the lead.

Teaching is exhausting, learning is exhausting, genuinely, so balance out moments where you do the heavy work, and moments where they do. I like to have a rough session plan with all the activities I have planned, and indicate for each if it is "ME", "STUDENTS", "ALL". And also ensure that your students are given the opportunity to really take an active role, which is way better for learning !

7. Help, my students are not talking :

This will happen. You will ask a question, no one will answer. Big, awkward, heavy silence. You reformulated the question, but clearly it is not working. Here are a few ways I have reacted to it :

- Show of hands 1 : for a quick diagnosis. "Can you raise your hand if you have done the reading for this question ? Just so I know if this is maybe the problem". Encourage the ones who have done the readings to explain it to the others.

- Show of hands 2 : "Ok, there are two ways to answer this question X and Y. Can you raise you hand if you think Y, and lower it if you think X?". Encourage some who picked Y to explain why, then same with X.

- Show of hands 3 : "Ok, let's lower the pressure. Who thinks they kind of have an answer, but is not sure about how to word it, or properly argument it?". Ask whoever raise their hand to start, and pick up yourself from there.

- Switch to think-pair-share : "Ok, how about we think a bit about this on our own for a few minutes, and then you can compare your own answers with your neigbour"

- Collapse the classroom : "Ok, I can see that this is not working. It's ok, can you tell me if it is because the topic is not super interesting, or the reading ? Are the questions not what you expected?"

- End of the session clear-up : [once everything is over] "Ok, so now that the session is over, can I ask you guys why it was difficult for you to talk today ? Just so I can make sure I can come up with questions that are useful to you, next time. If some of you want to stay a few minutes to talk about what you would like to change for the next tutorials, we can talk about it now ; you don't have to, of course"

8. Grading is tough, but we can make it easier.

Especially if you are grading things like essays, we can often feel uneasy, unsure how to grade them, how legitimate we are to grade them, especially with the sheer impact grades can have on students. Ideally, you want to have a list of things that are PLUS POINTS, and perhaps some that are MINUS POINTS, and have those strictly guide your grading, to be fair to all students and assess them similarly. I also found that it is helpful to grade the paper, only the paper. When there is a really, really bad essay where clearly the student barely tried, it's easy to get frustrated, because you did your best, and clearly the student did not care ? But you never actually know what happened. Real examples of students submitting absolutely terrible work include : a student who was grieving her mother, a student who had been in hospital and did not know she could ask for a delay, an adult student whose child had gotten sick the days before, a foreign student with a poor grasp on English... When you are grading the 78th essay of the week, it is easy to forget that each of them is from an individual, and we get to judge the work they do, but not why they did it. Even in your comments and feedback, always be compassionate.

#life as a TA #teaching #University #phdblr #gradblr

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spectral-apparitions · 3 years

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Hi! If you still take requests... I've been thinking how would DJ Subatomic try to comfort s/O when they complex about his feelings. s/o is much younger than him and they're afraid he will get bored with them eventually or he doesn't take them seriously as a partner

Ohh anon, don’t doubt that he loves you. If it’s okay, I split this up a little and added some other possible worries too.

If you’re worried you’re too boring:

”You know, if my music weren’t a necessity to keep this city alive, I wouldn’t open Club Planetarium’s doors as often as I do. Do you know why? It’s because, as fun a rave may be, it’s exhausting. Some nights I would much rather stay at home and read. And doing so is no less pleasant than partying.

What I’m saying, my dear, is that I don’t need a life of thrills to be happy. You needn’t be spontaneous or extravagant to keep my love. You are so uniquely you, even the simplest of everyday occurrences are special with your perspective.“

If you’re worried you’re not serious enough:

”Have I told you why I picked up music? I didn‘t buy my first mixer planning on fame. No, I did it because I thought it would be fun. Then, when I saw how people listen to my music, I decided to pursue a career.

And you, darling, I did not see as a partner at first. I simply found you mesmerizing enough that I wanted to be closer. I didn’t decide to love you, it just crept in until one day I realized that I would work for you, make sacrifices for you, be the best for you.

You don’t have to write me letters or speeches, or talk about your deepest feelings, or engage in business for me to know that you take us seriously. I can tell by your joy and your openness with me. And I hope that you can tell that from me as well.

You don’t have to change who you are. You can act as silly as you want and I still know that you’re intelligent and capable. Fun and serious are not separate things, and personally I enjoy getting to know both sides of you.”

If you’re worried about your appearance:

“When I look at you, I don’t just see your body. I see you as you are in your entirety, and it is the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever beheld.

Still, I look at you sometimes more closely, noticing the color of your skin, the shape of your face, every little detail I can find. Like mapping the lights in the sky, I look at everything, thinking both of how lovely it is, and how lovely it is that it exists. Every bit of you is a piece of history of the universe, a testament to all the occurrences that created you as you are.

I could never change you, dear, for you’re perfect. That said, if you want to change how you look, I will love that as well. It’s important that you’re comfortable with your appearance.”

If you’re worried you’re not smart enough:

“Well, not everyone can match my brilliance.” *chuckle* “No, darling, you’re brilliant enough yourself. Perhaps not in the same way that I am, but you shine nonetheless.

I had forgotten, for a while, that intelligence is multifaceted. Your knowledge, your wit, your creativity, your consideration, they each have their own strengths. It’s silly to think that only one stream makes you smart. Your intelligence is complex, as is mine, as is anyone’s. Just because I excel in my own fields does not dampen your achievement. I admit, I haven’t been the kindest in regarding the intelligence of others. But you, dear, I could never think of as stupid. I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that I do.”

If you want to change something about yourself and are worried he won’t like it:

”Hm, change may not be my favorite thing, but I understand it’s necessary at times. Whatever you want to do, I’m not going to stop you. I know at your heart you’re always changing, and yet, constantly you. I won’t ask you to change, darling, or ask you to not change. This doesn’t affect how I love you. You don’t need my permission for this, but if you want it, you have it.”

If you’re worried you’re not accomplished enough:

“I understand such worries, I fear the same of myself. I fear that everything I do will mean nothing. But, I have comforted myself knowing that, even for a moment, I may be remembered by others. Remembered by you.

Some people will remember me for my music. Unfortunately some will remember me only as a passing face, as their worst professor, or someone they despise. But some will remember me as their favorite professor, one great night out clubbing, the person who adopted a cat from them.

You don’t need to be famous to be known, my star. It doesn’t matter if you are loved by many or few, only that you are loved. And you needn’t earn that love. If you never do anything that the world praises again, I still will be proud of you.”

If you’re worried you’re too high maintenance:

”Let me tell you one of the ways I know I love you: I want to work for you. I don’t lend a hand to just anybody. And, I’ll admit, some days I don’t feel like putting in effort for myself. Yet, I continuously feel ready to assist you. I suppose that’s love.

Yes, there will be days that even though I care so much for you, I will be so tired that at doing so is hard. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you. You are not “too much” for me. I can only imagine how the experience feels for you. I want to ease your troubles, my love. I don’t mind putting in the effort. It’s no chore to love you.”

If you’re worried you’re too clingy:

”You’re afraid you give me too much attention? Really? In case you haven’t noticed, I like being noticed and cared for. Hm, well, I do like my alone time. I always have. I don’t think anything is going to change that. It’s not your fault. I simply need time to be alone to think and to rest. I do enjoy having you in my company during quiet moments. You‘re not as draining to be around as most people are. I don’t mind you spending extra time with me.

I couldn’t reject your affection, either. It’s…nice, admittedly. It feels nice to be cared for. You don’t need to worry about how much you’re around me or speak to me. As long as you understand I may need to be alone at times, I’ll make it up to you later.”

If you’re worried you’re not affectionate enough:

”I do enjoy when you’re affectionate with me, my dear. But you don’t have to do so constantly for me to know there’s love between us. If you’re not comfortable touching or speaking like most couples do, that’s alright. I still enjoy spending time with you.”

If you’re worried he doesn’t love you:

”Is that what you’re upset about? I don’t mean to offend you, but that’s preposterous. Why would I keep you in my life if I didn’t want to? You are special to me, starlight. Perhaps I haven’t made that clear enough. I feel like I can be myself with you, and I want to give the same to you. You are important to me. You make my life better. There is nobody else I would rather call my love.

Tell me, is there something I can do to show you my love? I don’t want you to doubt it, ever. I’ll remind you as often as you need.”

And finally:

”You know I chose to date you, darling, and I’ve chosen to stay with you. I don’t regret doing so. And I don’t see myself choosing to leave you. That should be the least of your worries. I consider myself lucky that you‘ve chosen to be with me as well. I love you, my star.”

#writing #imagines #no straight roads #no straight roads x reader #dj subatomic supernova x reader #dj subatomic supernova #sorry this took a while anon! I hope you’re feeling alright!#and anon I want you to know I didn’t change this in disregard it’s just that I got inspired while writing the initial request #and hey the stuff on your mind coukd change from one day to another so now if anything else troubles you #you have this to look at #the reason I didn’t include age is bc I try not to get specific about age relations in x readers and I also don’t want #people to misinterpret what I say #this was therapeutic to write #honestly part of what took this a while is that I kept adding to it

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heyheydidjaknow · 3 years

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Hiya! I have a request for an x reader songfic. Snap out of it by the Arctic monkeys gives me so many 2012 Donnie vibes. Maybe one where the reader is in love with Donnie but he likes April and the reader wants Donnie to, you know, "snap out of it" and notice that maybe April isn't the best person towards him. It can end in unrequited love or with a happy ending, that's for you to decide but I just really want to see this concept. Thanks! :>

(feel free to ignore this request if you want 👁️👁️)

Oh, I’m not about to turn away a chance to be pushed out into foreign territory. I admittedly hadn’t known what a songfic was until wikipedia and @kunimikat saved my ass, so this was fun-- and a bit scary-- to write. I hope you like it, even if it might not have been exactly what you were expecting.

April was your friend. She had been for a while, now, since she had moved to NYC. The two of you had come even closer after her kidnapping and initiation into the “Hamato Clusterfuck” as you had affectionately called it at first—you had wisely made a conscious effort to only get involved with them as far as you could throw them, sticking solidly to offering emotional support and half-decent food. At the beginning, you had, on multiple occasions, even begged her to stay out of it, trying to reason with her that getting herself killed by a psychotic armored man with an axe to grind for the crime of hanging out with four teenage shut-ins was an incredibly bad idea. When your logical arguments fell on deaf ears—her owing them apparently being her ball and chain—you had designated yourself as her supervisor to make sure she did not do something overly impulsive. She was reckless, overly trusting, immature, but you loved her like a sister. You balanced each other out.

One of the benefits of knowing someone for so long is that you learn things about them that they do not know about themselves. In April’s case, it had been that she was terrible at making up her mind

What's been happenin' in your world?

You had borne witness to the love triangle transpiring between Donatello Hamato, Casey Jones and her for the better part of a year now. You were relieved that the two boys had backed off each other’s throats somewhat over the period, but it was as infuriating as it was fascinating to watch them fight over her like a chew toy. Of course, April had her preference between the two, favoring the hockey player mainly for his general normalcy, which was a decision you could approve of, but she had hesitated until recently to make that obvious to the other point because, in her words, “The last thing I want is to deal with is all of that awkwardness.” You could hardly blame her for her hesitation, but you thought it almost cruel not to make her feelings apparent to her lovestruck puppy.

What have you been up to?

Donnie was the most tolerable of the five, the most normal in your opinion. He was an infatuated, insecure teenage boy with more an affinity towards machines and, best of all, seemed concerned for your friend, all things that you could get on board with. In your opinion, overbearingness is preferable to negligence in this case, and you were just happy that someone physically capable had her back. As such, when you were stuck at the lair for hours waiting for her lessons with Splinter to be over—you were her ride—you found yourself spending the most time around him, and as time went on, you started going out of your way to do so.

Seeing as April and Casey were your only other friends, it was natural you would get romantically attached. They—a couple by high school standards—approved of your crush, and all you told your guardian(s) was that they were smart, fit, and financially responsible, so they asked few questions.

You knew, logically, this was not a competition and that April had little interest in him.

But something about the way he gazed at her made you burn green with envy.

I heard that you fell in love, or near enough.

His eyes were just so… wistfully longing. He watched as the redhead and her boyfriend played against Michelangelo and Raphael in a game of charades. His expression was just so soft, lips pursing and popping silently as he grieved from his seat in his lab.

It had been a downhill spiral on your end from there, and as your own attachment grew for him, his own depression worsened. Your eyes drifted from your friend as you tried to make him see that, no, the world was not ending because his first crush did not like him back. You would make subtle comments about how happy his brothers were, how happy she and Casey were together, how smart he was and how many people would die for a kind, loving, smart guy to come around and sweep them off their feet. This, again, fell on deaf ears; he would always comment on how, if he were such a catch, April would not have chosen Casey, like It is his fault for her having more of a taste in cocky, fun-loving guys than intelligent ones. Half of it was probably your lack of experience in subtlety, but no matter what you would try to say, whenever romance came up in conversation, his words turned sharp and bitter.

On that day, you just cracked.

I gotta tell you the truth.

You walked over to the lab door, closing it in a single fluid motion. ‘I’m better at being blunt, anyways.’

He blinked; his trance was interrupted by the small slam.

“She’s not into you.”

“Huh?”

You crossed the room and placed your hand on the desk, expression stern and stone cold. “April,” you repeat. “She’s not interested.”

He did not meet your gaze. “You don’t know that.”

“I do, actually.” You leaned down to look him in the eye. “You aren’t her type. You’re supposed to be smart.” You placed the other on the back of his chair, arms cagging him in, almost. “ She has a boyfriend,” you continued, softer. “You know that, right?”

“I do.” He tapped the side of his thumb against the table absently, throat tight. “But what else do you suppose I do? Submit to the fact that I’ll be alone forever?” He looked up at you. “I know this may be hard for you to believe,” he continued, easily slipping out from under your arms, “but I don’t exactly have a ton of options. She’s the only person who’s ever looked at me like that; how am I supposed to move on from the only person who’s ever even given me a chance?”

I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake, baby.

You rolled your eyes, turning to watch him as he crossed to the other side of the room. “That is some blatant bullshit,” you glared curtly.

“Is it, though?” His back was to you as he crouched down in front of his centrifuge, fiddling with it. “As someone who’s never—”

“So help me, if you go off about me not understanding being rejected and feeling like they’d die alone, I’ll rip your tongue out.” You stood back up properly.

“What would you know about it?” He followed suit, eyes locking on yours. “You have other people to choose from.”

“And you don’t?” You crossed your arms, smiling incredulously. “How do we differ, exactly?”

“Besides the obvious?”

You scoffed. “You’ve seen your brothers. Never stopped them.”

“And I’m happy for them, that they’re so charismatic as to be able to find partners so easily.” You could taste the bitterness in his words. “But I’m not them, in case you didn’t notice. That girl out there?” He pointed to the door. “She’s the first and only person in the universe who’s ever given me a second glance.”

“So you’re just fucking blind, now?” You heard your voice rise without your input.

“What’re you talking about?” His voice grew with yours.

“You’re lovesick,” you spat. “Snap out of it.”

Snap out of it.

You ran your fingers through your hair. “Or maybe you’re just dense.” You felt a laugh rise in your throat. “I mean,” you gestured, “clearly picking up on verbal subtext isn’t your forte.”

You gave him five seconds. “What,” you continued, rubbing your face with your hands, “Are you—” You stopped. “You are, aren’t you?”

Nothing.

You took a slow breath, hearing your heartbeat in your ears. “Let me put it in simple, plain English for you.”

I get the feelin' I left it too late, but baby—

“As her friend? You’re a fucking creep.” You crossed your arms across your chest. “Following her the way you did—wait your turn—” A finger interrupted his defense. “Following her the way you did? Objectively creepy. Staring at her all the time? Also fucking creepy.” You felt your nails dig into your skin. “Any person would call it as it is.”

He opened his mouth again to argue. You did not interrupt him this time, but he did not argue, the silence falling like a weighted blanket over the two of you.

“As your friend,” you continued, voice lowered, “as someone who cares about you, I know April, and she can’t give you what you want. It’s not her; she needs to be free, and I love her, but you’re looking for something that’s just not there.” Your voice was certain. “You’re looking for someone to spend your life with. I’m right, aren’t I?”

Snap out of it.

He was still for a moment, looking off into the ether. He nodded, face melancholy.

You walked over, resting a hand on his shoulder tentatively. “I’m not saying it’s stupid of you to not be over her. Again, I love her to bits, so I see the appeal.” You broke eye contact, trying to articulate exactly what you meant. “But I’m worried,” you explained slowly, “you’re only hung up on her because you’re scared of being alone. That’s not fair to her or yourself.”

“Do you know that?”

“No,” you admitted easily, “but you and I are the same way, and trust me, I’ve been around the heartbreak block.” You smiled, trying to relieve the tension.

That earned a chuckle. A small one, but a chuckle none the less.

You reached up, cupping his cheek in your hand. “There are seven billion people on this planet. Any one of them—myself included—would be lucky to have a life with you.”

If that watch don’t continue to swing—

A pause.

“Do you honestly believe that?”

You nodded, your thumb running along the line of his eye socket. “I do.”

—or the fat lady fancies havin' a sing—

You leaned forward, pressing your lips against his cheek gently.

—I'll be here, waitin' ever so patiently—

“Y/N!” You pulled back as you heard April calling your name. “We need a moderator!”

You started back towards the door, waving gently. “I wish you good tidings, Donatello.” You smiled quietly, serenity itself standing in the doorway. “May whoever is fortunate enough to call you their own bring you happiness. You deserve it.” You slipped out of his lab, running over to break them up.

Donatello rested his fingers on where your mouth had lit his skin. He felt a bittersweet smile fade onto his face.

—for you to snap out of it.

And that was when it began.

List of Works

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

Text

lion primary + burnt rapid-fire bird secondary (snake model)

Hi! I’m really enjoying your page and was wondering if you might help me to find my sorting? I can’t settle on Chill Lion Primary or Snake Primary.

I seem to be able to leave friendships really easy

Not *Badger,* maybe? Because Snake can be friends with people who aren’t Inner Circle. Depends on what level of loyalty we’re talking about here… need more data.

if the choice is a stranger in need vs. my closest friend, it would be a stranger I would feel worst for abandoning, but I probably only deeply care about my family members, and friends only to some extent and helping someone in need would make me feel as a better person than just not turning my back on a friend.

… THAT is not a Snake primary answer, I can tell you that for sure.

When I was a kid and my mom would have a fight with my stepfather, I would always side with my mom, even if I knew she was not really right. I did not want to hurt her, but now when I am older, I know how important it is to stand by what you see as right, so I try to d talk about seeing things from both sides, even though I will still stand by her side in the end, probably. There is not much I can do for the people I care about, but when I am given an opportunity to protect and fight for them, I will.

There’s something interesting going on here. Because clearly you acted in a super Snake way when you were younger (‘they might be wrong, but I’m still going to defend them’) but… you felt bad about it. And you definitely *feel* bad about it, in retrospect.

Especially with that situation you gave me right there… I would not be at all surprised if you were expected to model Snake, or even forced to model Snake when you were younger.

But I deeply believe ‘the root of all evil’ is only caring about your own. I think that is selfish and cold.

Yeah. I think you may have an unhealthy Snake influence in your life. The conflict between Loyalists and Idealists is very near the heart of this system, and they do go back and forth, with Loyalists seeing Idealists as ruthless and cruel, Idealists seeing Loyalists as… yeah, selfish and cold. The way I see it, both are beautiful and expansive and know things the other needs to learn - and both can also be warped, and unhealthy, and scary.

I think I would be a better person if I had something to believe in, if I would fight for something bigger than me. I have not found it. Or maybe I did, but there is not much I can do about it. I can not incorporate it into my life apart from personal small actions, and I want to do more

This is very much a Lion primary dream. And I just want to say that the Lion dream does not have to be huge and all-encompassing in order to be meaningful, and real, and fulfilling.

Or maybe I just want an easy and lazy life, just doing what I like and just a bit more and that’s it. Sometimes it is like that too, I believe.

And you know what, that’s kind of a Lion primary mood too :)

I wouldn’t say standing by people you most care about is morally right, but it is a damn strong force.

Still Lion. Like OF COURSE if you can stand by both your morals and your people, that’s IDEAL.

As much as I can remember, I never had anything big and idealistic to believe in, apart from not hurting others, and a lot of what I believe in now is based on that.

You *want* something big and idealistic to believe in, to be happy and fulfilled. That’s still Lion, even if no Cause has clicked with you yet. (I suspect you’re a little burned, which can’t be helping.)

So I was always really harsh to people who I thought were selfish.

Again with this negative Snake influence.

I thought I was a Lion Secondary, but more and more I keep noticing how much I am using honesty as a tool.

Hmmm. Could be a Snake secondary tactic, but Birds do like their tools….

Sure, being yourself is the easiest thing in the world

… everyone does not feel this way. You’ve got strong Lion in your sorting somewhere.

but it also allows you to be seen as readable and trustworthy in your words. I know how much I can shift words or tone just a bit. Sometimes it feels like I am watching from inside, going “oh, you’re doing this now?”

That’s interesting. The way you’re describing thing - the slight arm’s length, knowing the mask is a mask, but also not planning the mask - is making me think more Snake. Although Actor Bird *is* possible.

I am very emotional, and I find it hard to distinguish my morality and moral choices from just general things I do and want.

… so you’re a Lion primary.

So the only other primary on my list could be Lion, which I find hard to understand. How can things turn from some tug of the heart to a full-fleshed ideal? My belief – trying not to hurt people and all that is related to it, in my mind, still comes from a grounded reality, from the fact that it hurts me to see someone being hurt. It’s not because it was idealistically formed somewhere. I think I probably don’t understand this correctly.

Lion primaries aren’t jedi. Their ideals don’t get magically beamed into their heads from some outside force. Lions reason just the same as Birds, they just use a different part of their psyche to do it. The fact that your morality (at its core, at its base) comes from the way things make you feel… that is what makes you a Lion. Birds don’t process things that way.

Maybe this sounds a bit like a Badger Primary, but there is no place for a group in my morality, in my life. Neighbors? Pffft, just let us live in peace and leave us alone. Groups are unpleasant usually. Maybe if you could choose people you like and click with them. Of course, acceptance is important, but it will never be the basis of anything. Have I never had an important group in my life? Maybe, but that would either mean I have been burned for a long time or I am just not a Badger Primary.

You’re not a Badger primary. And while it’s not a universal thing, I would say that Lion primaries tend to be the *most* comfortable with being loners, or spending extending periods of time as loners.

Of course, I use my brain and prioritize in the moment and use logic. I am not a sweet and nice badger girl, although I will be nice and smile and act my part, and sometimes you do hurt someone by telling the truth or putting yourself first, because I also don’t want to hurt myself if I have a different choice.

This is all starting to sound very snake secondary. The practicality, and twisting, and changing in the moment. Although maybe there’s a Badger performance in there?

Even if I can’t feel what others are feeling, I have something informing me about what they might be feeling. Do I care about not hurting my neighbor? It’s more like I care about not hurting myself by getting into a bad situation with them, being shouted at or having other kinds of problems with them, but that’s still some kind of motivation

Move around the problem, be like water.

Honesty is an idealistic value, and I like it, but I think it probably just makes my life easier, easier to read people and be read.

Snake secondary.

I think I also strongly believe in persons’ right to be and express who they are, that’s why I grew up hating gender stereotypes and not really playing into social rituals. I just want to be seen and liked for who I am.

Lion primary.

My Secondary? It probably burned to ashes. Thinking about how I am doing stuff, improv vs build, it just gives me a headache. Improvisation gives me stress, it gives me hell, but it’s the easiest way.

I mean, all the stuff you’ve been talking about - reading people, putting on the right face, changing direction - absolutely counts as improvisational.

Planning, preparing? Lovely, usually - access denied. I just go head first just because I don’t know any other way and have no interest or energy to search for it. I am easily bored, so even if I wanted to work, prepare, research, I would lose interest so fast that there would be no use in even trying.

I don’t think you’re a Badger secondary - but it’s just hard to tell because you are so down on your secondary in general. You’re telling me that prepping in theory is lovely but you don’t know how to do it? (not that you don’t LIKE it. That you CAN’T do it.)

I always thought I would finally find something I wanted to work on, something I would enjoy putting time and energy into, but that does not seem to come true.

That’s some more of the angst of your charred/unfulfilled Lion primary coming though.

I am disappointed in myself. You know, it would be very nice if I could be witty and smart and improvise in the moment, but I’m not,

So you *like* Snake secondaries at least.

so I just gave up some time ago and now usually go straight with my head first. At least I’m getting the experience I would never get any other way.

Your secondary is burnt, for sure. But just reading between the lines here… I think you’re much smarter and more capable than you give yourself credit for.

I think if I were to be a Lion Secondary and constantly do this, I wouldn’t feel the heaviness over my secondary.

That’s another big sign of a burnt secondary. Doing things isn’t fun, it’s heavy, it’s a chore, it’s a slog.

Okay, let’s talk about recipes and cooking. I will follow the recipe, at least until I get what is going on, which flavor does what, why is this and not that. Then I can ditch it. I can add whatever I want later on. If I know which parts are the most important, I might not even need the recipe.

… okay, so this suddenly sounds a LOT like a Rapid-Fire Bird

Imagine a world where they give you a recipe for an apple pie and say make a pie. You follow it, your pie looks fine. Then, when they taste it, they tell you, Oh, you didn’t know, you needed to use sour apples. You didn’t figure that out on your own? No, dagnabit, I was concentrating on making an apple pie for the first time in my life. I had no experience of this thing. I didn’t know what it would be. Then they tell you, Oh, maybe you needed to use coconut sugar or something else, or maybe should have figured out yourself that it’s too sweet or that you hate cinnamon, or maybe your oven is not working properly, so you need to deal with that. Yeah, that’s how I feel about life and its problems and people.

Oh that’s interesting. Because what *this* bit is sounding like… is the angst of a Built secondary dealing with a lot of Improvisational secondaries. I’m think you’re a Bird… with a lot of Snakes and Lions in your life.

Every chance I get, I try to tell people these little small things that you somehow supposedly had to figure out on your own. You need to crack the system first to know how you can break it the best way to achieve your goals. Life, problems, people are systems I will never be able to crack. There is nothing to grab onto, so that’s why freefalling headfirst is the best and the easiest option.

OH. Burnt bird secondary. Snake model.

Btw, I am reading other submissions while writing this, to not go completely out of the path and get any ideas that would be valuable. I do like to have a net behind me to catch me if I fall, ha.

And another little detail that sounds very Birdy.

So I’m reading you as a Lion primary with a Rapid-fire Bird secondary. Your primary is burned a little, and your secondary is burned a lot. And a big part of the reason for that is that you’ve got people around you expecting you to use a Snake model all the time, and you *do* have one, you do. But it feels heavy to you right now. You don’t hate it, but you’d rather use Rapid-Fire or maybe Actor Bird. And that might be feeding into the general Anti-Snake sentiment I’m seeing here.

#submission #sortme #sortinghatchats #wisteria sorts #lion primary #lionpri #burnt lion primary #bird secondary #rapid fire bird secondary #bird secondary vs snake secondary #birdsec #snake secondary model

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libraryofsouls · 4 years

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How would the slashers react to a serial killer s/o? Feisty, deadly and cunning. I am just so curious and also love your interpretation of them. ❤️👌

thanks so much! I’m glad. 💖

slashers reactions to: a serial killer s/o

Asa Emory / The Collector

chances are, he’s already done some investigating on you. depending on how far you’ve gone with him - it’s sink or swim.

if he cares about you enough he’ll risk introducing you to his collection. don’t expect too much though, as he would still prefer to work alone.

if you somehow use him in some way for your own goals, you’ll quickly find yourself being the newest addition to the collection, so try not to get any funny ideas.

would definitely feel like you’re walking on eggshells with him. he’s notoriously cautious so he might not be a fan of the idea of you walking the same path as him.

be extra domestic with him and he’ll eventually warm up to the idea. sweet-talk him, offer to wash his bloodied clothes along with yours and he just might start convincing himself that it doesn’t sound so bad after all.

Billy Lenz

if he found out before you even started dating - he's likely to save you for last just to observe how you really work. you’re dangerous and he doesn’t like that. (just pray he doesn’t end you in your sleep.)

or if you choose to drop the bomb on him mid-relationship, he’ll be shocked. is that why you’re so understanding? so patient with him?

if he happens to witness you killing, he’ll incorporate those in his obscene phone calls. maybe mumble it to himself sometimes as well.

compliments from billy! you’re not just a “regular piggy” anymore. smart piggy! pretty piggy! bloody piggy.

maybe it would be better if you don’t get in his way though. he tends to lose control when going after someone so he might hurt you by accident. likewise he won’t intercept you if you’re busy butchering someone.

god forbid someone goes after you, he’ll go beserk. if you save him from someone he’s not gonna thank you directly, instead just rest on you and compliment you some more.

Bo Sinclair

ah you’re hot but also fuck right off. ambrose is his territory and he’s not willing to share.

mid-relationship: he’ll be less trusting towards you. how long have you kept this from him, and why? what are you really after?

reassure him and earn that trust back again before he even lets you anywhere near his victims. the only way he’ll agree to work with you is if he’s the one calling the shots.

it’s pretty easy to fall into place once you’ve gotten used to his habits. he won’t admit it but it’s much easier to handle bigger groups with an extra pair of hands.

rage level increase! he’ll be especially violent towards anyone who takes a swing at you, only to snap back at you with “are you fuckin’ stupid? you could’ve gotten hurt!”

he’s actually much better at patching up wounds than vincent - and you better believe he’ll be patching you up before anybody else. (including himself) shut up, he already knows he’s bleeding and he doesn’t care.

Brahms Heelshire

another observant lad. like billy, he’ll take time to watch you very closely to see how you work. you’re his nanny and you kill too? hot.

it’ll be hard to keep secrets in such a huge house with very thin walls so you’re not likely to get away with this without him knowing. downside is it’ll take a much longer time for brahmsy to reveal himself.

kill for him and he’s yours to keep. usually it’s the other way around but now that he knows you’re capable, he’ll be a lot more laid-back. unless of course his jealousy gets the best of him.

still expects you to keep up with the list, however. there’s not really a lot of victims needing immediate attention so your first priority should always be him.

surprisingly helpful. he won’t feel the need to butcher anyone anymore (again, unless his jealousy acts up.) so he might actually give you a hand - just make sure to reward him properly for his efforts.

Bubba Sawyer

nervous bubby is hesitant to even go near you. sure he’s big and has a chainsaw but you look really good at what you do so he’s a bit scared.

mid-relationship: you’re a WHAT? gasps. actually, now that he thinks about it, that explains a lot. that’s okay he still loves you a whole lot!

quick to inform the entire family. hey everybody!! guess who has the coolest s/o ever?! he does! makes sure grandpa sawyer gets to see just how impressive you are. he’s so proud!

drayton’s undoubtedly going to hear about this so congrats! you’ve now levelled up to meat-wrangler, just like bubby. the whole family will be quick to accept you - no questions asked.

bubba still panics whenever you get hurt though! so maybe don’t get too carried away. he’s quick to make sure the tougher victims are taken care of first so they don’t hurt his precious s/o.

Jason Voorhees

big boy is THREATENED. why are you here and what do you want? please leave right now. though you do seem oddly nice for someone who just beheaded a guy at the dock.

mid-relationship: frozen in shock. his beloved s/o? the one that kisses him every morning? struggles to believe it. he might even refuse to accept it unless you have a good reason to do so.

he might be more accepting if you do it to protect yourself or as a way to rid the camp of trespassers. for him? he’s not sure how to feel about that.

very against the idea. bad people won’t think twice about hurting you. it doesn’t matter if you’re good at defending yourself or not - jason just doesn’t want strangers near you.

help him and he’s thankful, but he’s still gonna remind you to stay away from the trespassers as much as possible.

but jason, you cry out - no no no, he taps your nose, don’t you worry your pretty little head. he’ll do all the protecting, thank you very much.

Jesse Cromeans / Chromeskull

if you make it on the news chromey is going to know about you asap. he’s got all the proper sources so you won’t exactly be as well-hidden as you thought. as long as you don’t go for his targets, he’ll leave you be.

if you happen to cross paths with him and things turn romantic then that makes things much easier on him. he’s more likely to keep you around in the long run knowing you’re okay with the lifestyle.

fucked-up games? you bet. this man is always up to no good and often tries to one-up you. bet his body count is bigger than yours. yeah? do you want proof?

would be very willing to let you tag along and watch. just don’t interact with his victims. at all. he’s fiercely possessive to a point that he’s not above fucking you in front of them to prove a point.

he’s not gonna assist you during your activities unless you’re in mortal danger but he’s also known to stalk you during your escapades. what do you mean “what the fuck are you doing here?” he brought you flowers like a good boyfriend and this is how you greet him? rude!

Michael Myers

hmm hot. even if you don’t tell him he already would have known before approaching you. he’ll be apprehensive if you choose to keep secrets from him, especially if he knows about them already.

if you trust him enough to tell him about this he’ll appreciate your honesty and might keep you around longer. hm sure okay but he knows already. (he’s not about to tell you that though)

do your own thing and leave him be. he doesn’t really care. upside is he won’t have to worry about you being attacked because he knows you’re capable of defending yourself even without him.

but that doesn’t stop him from being petty and obsessive. bashes the already motionless corpse of the idiot that attacked you. he’s not gonna stop until they turn into paste.

he works alone. don’t even try to follow him. stop it. don’t you have other places to be? shoo. firmly carries you back to the house and locks you there.

Thomas Hewitt

is it bad that he finds you.... kinda hot? you handle yourself well but he’s also lowkey afraid of you.

mid-relationship: like jason, he has trouble accepting the fact that his darling would be capable of such a horrid thing. he’ll be okay with it if you do it for the hewitts or for your own protection. otherwise he’s not into it.

killing bad. please leave it to him instead, okay? he doesn’t want you getting hurt. he’ll insist to do all the butchering despite hoyt’s loud protests that you should be pulling your own weight.

go ahead and brush up on your convincing skills because it’s not impossible to persuade him. (unlike jason). you would need to earn your right to provide for the family.

the hewitts are quicker to accept you into the family once you’ve proven yourself. you’ll fit right in! tommy’s always going to be a worrywart though regardless of how good you actually are.

Vincent Sinclair

might actually target you first because you’re the most dangerous. he’s much less likely to trust you since you’ve killed before.

mid-relationship: tell him very early in the relationship otherwise he might not trust you again. he’ll be understanding regardless of your intentions. (unless of course if it’s to harm him or his brothers, then he’s troubled.)

mother hen vincent would also prefer you don’t help out with the victims. bo’s already a handful by himself and he’s confident that the three of them (along with lester) can manage.

but he’s not going to forbid you, per se. he’s not gonna go out of his way to stop you. just as long as you’re smart about it and you don’t get hurt, then you can carry on.

again, an extra pair of hands means less work for everybody involved so as much as bo bitches about how trusting you might come back to bite them in the ass, they’re appreciative of your efforts.

#requests #reacts #slashers #asa emory #the collector #billy lenz #bo sinclair #brahms heelshire #bubba sawyer #jason voorhees #jesse cromeans #chromeskull #michael myers #thomas hewitt #vincent sinclair #slasher party #my writing

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