#i think it’s funny as hell that they’re like egging it on

[smallphoenix13]

they just really aren’t doing anything to deter the shippers are they

#i don’t ship real people bc i think it’s kinda weird but like #i think it’s funny as hell that they’re like egging it on #good for them good for them #I missed recording the insta story of bojan being the last person in the human centipede for cha cha cha #so käärijä sat on him for that bit #käärijä #joker out #bojan cvjeticanin #eurovision 2023 #kaarija

[oysters-aint-for-me]

my (very queer) friend is pregnant for the first time and she’s been on all the baby message boards (eg tiktok, facebook) and she found this tag that was like “ftm pregnancy” and she was like “oh cool! there’s whole tag for pregnant transmen!” and then was extremely confused as to why the tag was full of what appeared to be cisgender women. she was like “i mean i don’t wanna judge, maybe they are transmen but they don’t look how i expected them to, that’s okay, if they say they’re trans then they are” except she kept looking through the tag and literally NONE of them were transmen, ALL of them appeared to be ciswomen. she was VERY confused, seriously questioning what she knew about trans people (and not to be like “she has trans friends!” but literally her partner is trans, her sibling in law is trans, many of her friends are trans/nb, hell i think she’s a bit nonbinary herself, idk, we haven’t actually talked about that recently lol) and doubting reality in general.

and then she found out that, amongst a huge section of the internet to which she had never been exposed before, “ftm” stands for First Time Mom.

there’s no moral to this story i just thought it was funny

#she has a few other examples #of confusing ‘mommy group’ terms w terms commonly #used by the queer community #i don’t think it’s intentional like the mommy groups are trying to take the terms from us by force #i just think it’s funny

[weskers-master]

Stuff i forgot to mention in the prior “what music Wesker likes” post

GOTHIC. MUSIC. This music genre was growing exponentially in popularity in the 80s and 90s. It’s practically impossible he didn’t hear at least one darkwave/etherealwave song. Don’t question why i just know this much about music and who listens to what, i don’t know either. The gothic genres of darkwave and etherealwave are typically listened to by those who listen to other alternative genres as well so its likely that Wesker would.

Specific bands and artists i think he would like and my reasonings for some:

Queen: they’re just good. We all like Queen and you stupid if you don’t. Get offended.

The cure: do i need to explain? A proto-gothic band that made some hit songs, he has at LEAST heard of them

Depache mode: similar to the cure, he’s at least heard of them. Their music was and still is incredibly popular, even people outside the gothic and alternative scene have heard enjoy the silence.

Rammstein:i do believe he listens to metal, given my personality based assumption. Rammstein is a great stadium industrial metal band with a large following. Formed in the mid nineties, he has probably heard some of their music. I this he would definitely listen to was ich leiber

Beyoncé: she rose in popularity in the late nineties in destiny’s child and that mixed with the genre of music alone… i have already explained why i think he would listen to that. She gain her own following as time progressed and in certain he was involved in that fanbase.

Ninja sex party: HEAR ME OUT. We all have a comedy singer we like and i think he would like these guys, that is if he would have been alive to see it. Most of the music dose fall into 80s and 90s nostalgia type which would strike a chord with him most likely. They’re also very funny and some of their jokes are things i just think he would find funny. I know ots a stretch but hear. Me. Out.

AC/DC: once more, do i need to explain? Everyone, and i mean everyone agrees that they make good music and i think Wesker would too.

KISS: bro listens to “god gave rock and roll to you” and “i was made for loving you” as he drives to work. Change my mind.

Def lepard: a popular and great rock band from the 80s and 90s. Im hell bent he listens to them. They were extremely popular and even performed in the Freddy mercury memorial performance. They made many good song i think he would LOVE eg; photograph, love bites, women, rocket and kick.

#part 2 electric boogaloo #albert wesker #resident evil #wesker #resident evil hc #wesker hc #wesker simp and proud #wesker is defo a KISS enthusiast #the mastermind #wesker in all his dumb glory

[monarchisms]

i guess with even more horrendous shit from rt/ah coming to light with no signs of stopping, especially with this insightful thread from caleb, it just clicked to me how deep the whole "friendly ribbing and bullying" shit on camera was with the company, AH in particular, and how at its worst, it was just regular bullying with us as a general audience not knowing any better.

i've really only ever said in the past that the "bullying" AH did to matt made me mildly uncomfortable because i think he's a cool dude, and him getting dunked on could get old and sad if done excessively, and that's something i still believe. however, that turned out to not even the worst of it, upon some reflection i did over this weekend.

i learned of the existence of rt, and eventually became a big fan of AH, sometime in early 2014, so i must have been 13 years old at the time. yikes, i know lol. this was back when ray and kerry and caleb and such were in the gameplay videos more often at the time. i, the impressionable fucker i was, and lowkey still am, latched onto the... jokes? callbacks? bits??? whatever the hell they're called of caleb being the cheating screen-looker who is absolutely obsessed with frisbees and shit. i repeated back what i heard the guys said like a parrot to myself because they found it fun to do, so i eventually did, as well.

i find the jokes pretty funny on their own back then and now, but what i never acknowledged back then was how constant that all was, to a concerning degree, even to the point where caleb was getting harassed and was sent death threats from other "fans". fucking mind-boggling! i never went that far because i wasn't that fucking stupid, but i currently feel a bit of shame, for lack of a better word, because of how much that hurt someone i liked watching on screen.

it's the same deal with gavin. bird noises. british humor. jokes about his way of explaining smart ideas poorly. all of that. dude was constantly egged on for years. it's calmed down since then, but that, and the physical stuff (one i remember semi-clearly was geoff pushing gav in i think a minecraft let's play to prevent him from winning some competition in the game) was insane, looking back on it. but since i was just a kid, i just laughed along.

#stopthebullying, #startthebullying, the brazing of newer hires like joe, god knows how much “friendly” ribbing towards kerry and jack. god, i’m not a fan of watching much older rt/ah videos because i’m guaranteed to hear a slur of two, but the comments from other fans who have been here longer than me about how jack got shit on in early AH stuff and the rt podcast/drunk tank episodes he appeared in can be its own separate fucking post, the poor guy.

i don’t know how to end this post, really. most of it was written at 4 am, and it shows. my brain has been a mess this past weekend, and so has rt since its inception. bye.

#''bye'' i say as if i won't be right back on this site in five minutes #i think i can maintag this #rooster teeth #roosterteeth #achievement hunter #rt wank #that's it. that's all the tags i got #shit i forgot one #long post

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Mark Steel has been on The Bugle a total of thirteen times so far, and three of those have paired him with Hari Kondabolu. Here is the trilogy:

4161 – 2020-08-04 – Corruption, COVID and Cricket

4179 – 2021-01-12 – Everything Is Fine

4224 – 2022-03-09 – Zelensky’s Tight 16

Steel/Kondabolu is an excellent combination, a dark horse in my “favourite Bugle pairings” rankings because you wouldn’t think of them together. One’s British and one’s American, but they’re not like some international pairings, in which both people involved clearly know each other relatively well due to having traveled regularly to each other’s countries and worked together (ie. Kumar/Ballard). Hari Kondabolu and Mark Steel had clearly not met, and probably never heard of each other, before they did their first Bugle episode together. It was an absolute delight to watch them discover each other throughout the episode, and learn that they have such a compatible comedian across the ocean. There’s this one delightful moment near the end of their first episode together when Steel went on one of his furious rants and Hari just said, “I like you, Mark.”

They go so well together. Hari Kondabolu’s whole thing is being angry about justified causes of horrifying things that go unchecked in America, and Mark Steel’s whole thing is being fucking furious about absolutely everything all the time, including justified sources of anger such as unchecked horrors. Before The Bugle I knew Mark Steel fairly well because he’s on The News Quiz pretty often, and I liked him there, but The Bugle showed me depths of his relentlessly angry comedy that they just don’t let him hit on a BBC show where you’re not allowed to swear. He is perfect on The Bugle.

Mark Steel and Hari Kondabolu are like sparks that keep catching on each other, egging each other on in how much they can turn comedy material into visceral fury. I also like the sides of Andy Zaltzman that get brought out by Mark Steel; he gets Andy to shed a little of the irony that normally coats his anger, and it makes a hell of a podcast episode. I think I incorrectly sometimes think of Mark Steel as a “shouty comedian”, but he’s not, really. He’s just angry.

I’ve recently heard Mark and Hari’s third episode together, and it lives up to the first two. There are so many differences in their comedy styles, meaning they bring totally different things to the table in some ways, but there this underlying hatred of fucking everything that they have in common and I love watching them share it. With each other and with Andy Zaltzman.

The second of these was the first Bugle episode recorded after January 6, 2021. They’d previously established a running joke in which at the start of all Hari’s episodes, Andy would ask him how he’s doing, and Hari would say some variation of “I’m in America after 2016, how the fuck do you think I’m doing?” They opened the first post-January 6 episode with:

Andy Zaltzman: Hello, Hari, how are you... well, should I say “how are you”? Let’s just say how are you coping?

Hari Kondabolu: Fuck off, Andy. Fuck off.

It ended with Andy asking Mark Steel if he wanted to advertise anything he had coming up, to which Mark replied: “Nothing to plug until the year 2051, my own funeral.”

It’s good stuff to listen to if you hate everything and want the catharsis of hearing some other people hate everything while being professionally funny about it.

#Youtube

[memecucker]

Another funny wrestling history thing pertains to wrestling schools in the days when kayfabe was strong because you can’t just tell a rando off the street that wrestling is a work. So basically two ways to deal with that were either 1) the old school route which is putting new students through absolute living hell for weeks or months and not just in terms of grueling exercise but also like they would get ‘taught’ legitimate catch wrestling holds by having them directly demonstrated on the student so they’d be on the verge of breaking bones constantly meaning only the most serious students sticked around and anyone that’s scared off is gonna be convinced wrestling is real (eg; Stu Hart the father of Bret and Owen and grandfather of Natalya didn’t actually charge tuition but seems to have been a legitimate sadist who enjoyed telling students how many centimeters away they currently are from breaking a bone or tearing a muscle). Or 2) you just straight up never tell them and let them figure it out on their own.

And yeah 2) sounds really weird but Steve Austin said he only learned wrestling was a work a few minutes before his first match when the ref came to him to tell him about spots they’re gonna do and Hulk Hogan also said he thought wrestling was real, like, basically during his rookie year so he’d wrestle entire matches thinking it was fully legit and apparently the other wrestlers made fun of him for that behind his back (this is a Hogan anecdote that I’m pretty sure is real). And yeah that’s weird like how do you not figure it out but now that I think about it there’s those fake martial arts studios that teach “no-touch knockouts” using energy or whatever and the students legitimately think they’re being defeated by their master during sparring so maybe it’s that same mentality. Or maybe Hulk Hogan was just really stupid idk how common it was for someone to wrestle for months somehow thinking it’s real matches

[marley-manson]

yk, the most unforgettable characters does such a good job of establishing what bj and hawkeye will clash over in the future with what they accuse each other of doing here, ie:

bj lacks loyalty ie targets him and badtalks him (eg joker is wild, bottom’s up, heroes) and often doesn’t support him (eg the grim reaper, back pay, depressing news), and makes up rumours/maligns his character ie misrepresents him and makes him look bad to others (eg bottom’s up, joker’s wild, lend a hand), and lbr also calls him irrational all the time like he does here (eg rally round the flag, back pay, give em hell hawkeye)

hawkeye is sometimes annoying and irritable (eg ain’t love grand, picture this).

and ‘always trying to get in the last word’ could maybe be expanded into egotistical or like... always needing the spotlight, always leading never following, never conceding, which bj probably is resentful about (see Wheelers and Dealers where he bemoans his own conciliatory nice guy attitude), in which case dear uncle abdul could be an example since what sets bj off there is hawkeye mildly belittling him for making potter laugh more than he did (’it’s just because he has a funny moustache’). and it might also partly explain why he dislikes hawkeye’s campaigns against the army, since they’re usually just hawkeye demanding symbolic concessions and refusing to take things lying down the way bj often ruefully does

yk i really think you can make a case that bj mildly resents hawkeye’s... how do i put it? leadership? refusal to change? requirement for bj to conform to him rather than the other way around? and it’s at least partly why he lashes out sometimes. i’m gonna be looking for this when i get back to season 4 tbh.

#marley on mash #ship hb #bj mash #hawkeye mash #this is rambly and not well thought out or put together but i'll probably write something more readable about it when i get #to bj's early seasons #or i'll throw it out as irrelevant #mash s5

[uramichislefttiddie]

Random Hc’s [various fandoms]

||Contains: Sebastian Moran, Diluc Ragnvindr, Toji Fushiguro||

||Warnings: None||

Minds going 200mph right now with all these things I keep thinking off.

Sebastian Moran

•now he’s 6’6 so obviously he’s large built meaning he most likely has a few stretch marks covering his body here and there. He’s always been insecure about them trying to not have them on show anywhere near people when he can avoid it. Fred is always trying to tell him it’s no big deal and it’s a natural thing but Sebastian still hasn’t come to terms with being comfortable with people seeing them.

•Sebastian gives the best hugs, he may come across as someone who isn’t very comforting but in reality he’s one of the best to go to when need comforted.

•has a dad bod most definitely especially in the time skip. Like sorry but dad bods are hot and you can’t tell me otherwise.

•never brushes his hair, if he’s had to put wax into it all he does is wash it out and leave it to dry however it chooses to. Surprisingly though it’s never tangled??

•has acne, not just on his face but he gets it on his back especially, he’s always been like that since he can remember. Also to add on he has beauty marks and freckles all over his body.

•he loves chubby bodies especially the tummies, thighs, literally everything, it’s all hot to him.

•he’s a nail biter, his nails look like they’ve just been through hell half the time, the amount of times he’s gotten a slap of someone for continuously biting his nails and making that clicking noise is unreal. If he had a penny for every time he got a slap he’d be a millionaire by now.

•always unknowingly sings or hums when he’s cleaning, cooking you name it. Freds ears defiantly begin to bleed when Sebastian starts singing.

•he’s that really loud snorer that everyone despises of, sometimes Fred will wake up scared that there’s an earthquake but instead to find out it’s only Sebastian.

•sometimes he just can’t be bothered with shaving, so he’ll just have a stubble a lot of the time however once he awoke to Fred just standing there with a razor in one hand looking, at first looks it was almost as if he had murder in his mind but after realising, Fred was half way finished with shaving Sebastian. His reason for doing so being it was making him look older, none the less Sebastian was still confused but just let him carry on, It was honestly quite the funny sight to see.

Diluc Ragnvindr

•always has rosey cheeks, he gets annoyed by it sometimes but he’s learned to deal with it after some time.

•all the cats in Mondstadt absolutely adore Diluc, whenever he’s walking about he always makes sure to buy them all some meat and once he has he makes his way about giving each cat some meat for the day and will play with them for a while until he needs to go somewhere.

•is one of them people who look pretty even when sleeping, always looks at peace too, hardly snores and if he does they’re pretty much quite and not loud at all.

•has scars all on his body from fights that have just never really disappeared, some from when he was only just a child to recent ones.

•quite heavy eye bags from restless nights of worry and guilt. He hates people commenting on them as they’re quite noticeable, so when he first meets someone and they don’t comment on them he will always be surprised and confused.

•is god at cooking, he always makes the best dishes from scrap, he’ll come up with the weirdest dishes but they always taste the best despite what he may have put into it.

•some nights all he wants to do is lay down on the grass, staring at the stars and make shapes in his head, he also gets to see the different animals at night compared to during the day. There’s also this one cat that comes to curl up next to him whilst he’s star gazing.

•also wears eyeliner on his lower eye-line, most of the time it ends up slightly smudged as he’s always rubbing his eyes from lack of sleep.

Toji Fushiguro

•if he sees anyone that’s getting harassed or anything he will always intervene no matter what, he hates weirdos trying to get things from other people without consent eg.

•some nights he decides to watch one of his favourite childhood films, he just finds a comfort in doing so, almost as if he’s reliving his childhood a little.

•secretly needs glasses for reading but hates wearing them, so he only does in private when no ones around, he still remembers that day when he was wearing glasses and went to wake Megumi but all he got was screaming and Megumi trying to say that Toji wasn’t his dad and it was someone else.

•he didn’t realise until recently that he was meant to add water to his super noodles, so all this time he had just been eating microwaved hard noodles when he pleased.

•the thing is he can be a great cook if he knows what he’s doing otherwise he’s absolutely horrendous, sometimes he does worry he’ll end up burning does the house.

•when Megumi was still little, Toji would let him play with his hair, he didn’t care if he had butterfly clips in his hair, purple plastic extensions in or hair sticking up, as long as Megumi was content he was too.

•nearly every day he’d spend some time in the mirror trying to perfect his smile, he’d never been one to smile but with Megumi around he didn’t want to scare him, after awhile of doing so he finally was happy with his smile and so was Megumi by the looks of it always smiling back when Toji did so.

•he’s bound to have stretch marks on his chest especially, plus he doesn’t hate them at all if anything he quite likes them, also liking them on other people no matter what, he just loves tracing over them on people with his calloused fingers.

#yuukoku no moriarty #moriarty the patriot #sebastian moran #Sebastian Moran hc #genshin impact #diluc ragnvindr #diluc headcanons #jujutsu kaisen #toji fushiguro #toji headcanons #anime hcs #anime fluff #jjk #genshin #fluff #headcannons #hc #hc’s

[early2000smovieimagines]

George Weasley having a crush on you would include~

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(These are just general headcanons but you can also request for specifics, like for a house or sort of person, i.e. childhood friend or prefect, etc)

- Though it certainly depends on the girl, George seems like the type of person to have a crush on someone for a while before he actually asks them out; at least when it comes to people he’s really taken by.

- Neither of the Weasley twins are shy but when it comes down to it, George is definitely the shyer of the two. Fred has always been the more outgoing and impulsive one while George has always been more diplomatic and reserved; at least in comparison.

- When he has a crush on someone, George tends to become friends with them; if he wasn’t already, so that he can see if they’re really a good match and to be close to them while he works up the nerve to ask them out.

- But, him being their friend doesn’t mean that he’s not flirtatious with them; he’s still the other half of the Weasley twins. He’s a bit more subtle and oftentimes more joking in his delivery but he still flirts.

- He gives you sweet and/or joking sounding compliments, ones that make your cheeks hot while also making you laugh because of the way he teasingly purrs them out.

- Speaking of teasing, you bet your ass that George is gonna mess with you damn near constantly. He’s a little less obnoxious and persistent as Fred would be but he still endearingly gives you hell.

- Though he’s identical in looks and just as charismatic as his brother, George has always felt as though people preferred Fred over him. Because of this, he’s a little scared that you’ll fall for his brother before he can ask you out and/or you’ll only be with him because you can’t be with his brother; especially as you begin to spend more time with the two.

- You being able to tell him and Fred apart? Heavenly. You don’t know how happy it makes him to immediately be met with his own name upon greeting you, as though it’s the easiest thing in the world for you to do.

- You’ll always get your own greeting when he see’s you. There could be a dozen other people there and he’ll give them all one big hello before specifically turning to you and giving you a “helloooo y/n”. 

- Being flanked by him and Fred as you’re walking around campus; or just him. He likes walking you to class or spotting you and tagging along when you’re going off to do something. 

- Although they aren’t nearly as bad as some of the Slytherins in the school, the Weasleys definitely have a bit of a prejudice towards the other houses. How George feels about and goes about interacting with his crush will depend on; at least partially, what house they’re in; though he’s not as harsh as his brother in most of his judgement.

- The Weasleys are all Gryffindors and have a lot of house spirit so a Gryffindor girlfriend is definitely the ideal. He wouldn’t be surprised upon realizing that he has a crush on a girl in his own house and would be far more open to flirting with and getting close to them. 10/10.

- Next up is Ravenclaw. He doesn’t have a problem with Ravenclaws and neither does most of his family. Why would he be bothered by having a thing for a smart girl? You can help them with pranks and all their other shenanigans! 8/10.

- Hufflepuffs... well, they’re there? No but really, the house is a mixing pot of different kinds of wizards and witches. To most people in the school; especially the prouder ones, they’re sort of just the default house that you get thrown into if you don’t possess the other houses traits. That being said, you seem like a sweetheart and since your house is so diverse, he’d certainly have to get to know you before he; and anyone else, could pass any real judgement. 6/10.

- I think you can guess where this ones going.... Slytherin, why does she have to be a Slytherin! He didn’t even know what to think upon realizing he had a thing for you, he was so taken aback, he refused to believe it for a while. You’re a villain, you’re the enemy ...wait that’s kinda hot...but regardless! He’ll hope that his feelings will go away but they obviously won’t and he’ll be forced to have them. 3/10.

- He definitely tries to show off to you with all his different tricks. Here, let him demonstrate the new Weasley product or one of his many magical abilities, he’ll make sure that you think it’s the most amazing thing ever. 

- Getting told all about his pranks, products, and other shenanigans. Your praise fuels him, especially when your compliments are directed towards him in particular; not him and his brother. 

- Getting mini gifts. One of his products, a little something he made for you, class/home work that your didn’t do, or even him pranking someone who bothered you. They’re just little things to see you smile and show that he cares. 

- Need help with something? He’s your man. Not only is he intelligent and good at wording things, he’s also very tall and quite strong, so whatever it is, he can most certainly provide assistance. And he’s more than happy to have the excuse to be around you. 

- Although he tries to keep it together as best he can, he almost always has the urge to just melt whenever you touch him; especially when he isn’t expecting it. He leans into all the affection that you give him very happily and usually with a playful expression on his face in an attempt to hide just how much he likes it. 

- He’s fairly affectionate with you and savors every moment you spend letting him hold your hand or hug you. You don’t even consider the fact that there could be an ulterior motive behind his touches, you just think that it’s George and he does it because he’s just a sweetheart or because he’s trying to tease you.  

- As much as he likes being funny and messing around with you, he particularly enjoys the earnest conversations that the two of you can and do get into. He loves the fact that you value his company even when he isn’t being amusing or over the top.  

- He probably overheard you telling your friends about “your type”, perfectly describing him, and he was over the moon until he realized you could mean literally any of the Weasleys. Well, at least he had a 1/7 chance right?

- He knows that you’re single and he has no business interfering with your life; which he won’t do unless egged on by Fred, but he can’t help but feel sad whenever he sees you with another guy. He fakes a smile when you look at him but it always drops when you aren’t. 

- Fred definitely makes innuendos and tries to push his brother to do something about his crush. He’s loyal to his twin so he wont totally out him but he’ll certainly make him sweat and smile as you look between them confused. 

- Once he decides that it’s time to ask you out, he does so with very little problem. He is a Gryffindor after all, and the Weasley twins aren’t exactly known for their fear of girls or literally anything. Congratulations on earning yourself such a wonderful boyfriend. 

#george weasley imagine #george weasley headcanons #george weasley headcanon #george weasley imagines #hp imagines #hp imagine #hp headcanon #hp headcanons #harry potter imagines #harry potter headcanons

[astridthevalkyrie]

summer rain: chapter 3

Your days in the Training Corp aren’t too out of the ordinary. You make friends, you train hard, and you eat dinner every day.

Oh, and you’re also hellbent on getting revenge against Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Chapter 2, Chapter 4

You don’t keep your promise to yourself. Very unwillingly, you let Lieutenant Levi catch out after hours again, a few months later, in very different circumstances.

The day goes pretty well before the incident, actually. Nothing extraordinary or painful happens, and you even get Grumman to tell you in that gruff voice of his that you have good form. A good day deserves a good night, a nice farewell. It’s the end of the week, and since tomorrow is everyone’s day off anyways, you decide you want to have a little fun.

The usual suspects want no part in it. Millie doesn’t support sneaking out of the base, Ricky is too busy studying, and Stephen cannot stay awake past dinnertime and is always out like a light. Traitors, the lot of them. There’s absolutely no fun in sneaking out alone, so you start asking around. Surely there must be someone who feels as cooped up as you do.

And that’s how you find yourself in a bar with Traute and Nifa.

It’s an odd combination, you know that much. Nifa is bubbly, bright, and speaks very loudly when she gets drunk. Traute, on the other hand, has a glare that turns out to be helpful to ward off any amorous intruders, but when directed at you, it can be scary. She doesn’t drink at all, giving you a hard stare when you ask her if she wants anything. You only have a single glass yourself before getting up to do what you really came here for - dance.

You start off slow, the alcohol leaving your brain just a bit fuzzy after not drinking for such a long time. The musicians playing on the stage at the side sweeten everyone’s ears with a gradual but energetic melody. You grab a random man’s arm, swinging into step with him. He complies with a hearty chuckle, and now you have a dance partner. In turn, he grabs his friend, who grabs theirs.

Claps and cheers fill the air. You feel the heavy steps under you as your arms flail and you spin, right in the center of it all and enjoying every last second of it. Your hair bounces around you, falling into your face. Someone grabs your hand and tugs you into a waltz. Eventually, dancing turns to jumping, but you don’t care, you live for every second of this. The dancing, the music, the crowd, the sinful act of sneaking out and getting so handsy with everyone. The music is only egging you on.

Your hands are in the air, twirling for all you’re worth. The crowd is cheering you on, the melody is reaching its peak, the room is spinning, and you raise a leg up to finish with a grand pirouette and a wide grin.

The song finishes and you stop to a resounding wave of applause, your arms still thrown in the air.

Right in front of you is Lieutenant Levi, and he does not share the crowd’s enthusiasm.

You stay exactly in the position you are, hands frozen as though he’s caught you. Maybe it’s the wine, or maybe it’s the absurdity of the situation, or maybe it’s that he somehow went to the same seedy bar you did and caught you dancing and is now listening to your admirers enthusiastically shouting for an encore as the next song starts playing. Whatever the reason is, you start laughing.

He looks funny, with his bored, fed up expression. Why does he always look like that?

Sighing at your disorderly conduct, he beckons you forward with one finger. Feeling particularly pleasant, you follow him out of the crowd, pausing only to bow with a flourish to anyone who looks at you. Apparently, Lieutenant Levi does not appreciate your desire to please the crowd, because he grabs your arm and shoves you out of the bar. You giggle, hands flying up to cover your mouth.

“Who did you come here with?” he asks, and you waggle a finger.

“I’m not telling.”

“It’s your little quartet, isn’t it?”

“I’m not telling,” you repeat, taking a few steps back from him. You have no desire to get enthralled in him once again. The last time replays in your mind enough times as it is.

The lieutenant gives you a hard look. You try your best to match it, but you end up breaking out into giggles again, the giddy feeling too good to leave you so soon. He sighs.

“You’re drunk.”

“Ooh, so clever.” You smirk, completely unbothered. He doesn’t look too mad, and you’re not worried about Traute or Nifa either. They’ll find their way back. And now you have an escort! It’s truly a special night. “I’m not, actually. I’m no lightweight. I just feel good.”

“That won’t last long,” he promises, “you just ruined my plans. Instead of having a drink, I get to babysit you. So rest assured I’m going to make your life hell, (L/N).”

Your voice unwittingly comes out in a whine. “But you already do that.”

He sighs that sigh again, placing a hand on the top of your head to spin you around and push you in the direction of the base. You laugh loudly, finding his exasperation hilarious until he gives your temple a painful flick.

“Ow!”

“Fucking brat.”

“Ooh, you’re infuriating.” The good feeling is still there, but it’s a little more bitter. He just has that natural effect on your emotions. “You make me so mad.”

“Likewise,” he responds dryly.

The lack of engagement in his voice only serves to make you more sour. For a few minutes, you remain quiet, the two of you walking side by side. More than once, his knuckles brush against yours, but you pay no attention to the contact. You’re simmering in quiet annoyance, months of being thrown around, embarrassed and disrespected all coming to a head now. The liquid courage you consumed earlier doesn’t help either.

“Was it ugly?” aren’t exactly the words you wanted to say, but they’re the ones that come out.

“Hm?”

You look at him, an uncharacteristically vulnerable look displayed on your features. “My smile. Was it so ugly that you just couldn’t stand it?”

“What are you talking about?” He’s raising a brow at you, the breeze playing with his collar a bit. You realize this is the first time you’ve seen him out of uniform, in only a simple white buttoned shirt. He looks nice.

“The day we met. The first day of training. That day.” You wave a hand to make him understand. “You didn’t like my smile, so you...did what you did. And then you did it again later. That was mean.” There’s a pout on your face now, as you remember all his past transgressions. “It must have been an ugly smile if it made you act like this.”

“What are you trying to say?” Levi looks irritated. “Spit it out, (L/N).”

So you do.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

He looks at you, really looks at you, and yet he doesn’t halt. He merely scans your questioning face, your downtrodden expression and the downward direction of your lips. You’re not trying to be difficult this time, you’re really not. You just think that you have a right to know just what you did to make him constantly come after you. Maybe once you hear it, your ridiculous attraction to him will stop.

“What makes you think I hate you?” he replies, genuinely, honestly, and your heart clenches. Before you can reply, he goes on, “I wouldn’t be training you if I hated you. Wouldn’t put up with your annoying ass presence all the time.”

Not sure what to do with such a backhanded compliment, you press on. “So what, you like me? I’d hate to see how you treat your enemies.”

“You would hate to see it,” Levi hums in agreement, and leaves it at that. There’s no confirmation as to whether or not he likes you, which you take to mean he merely tolerates you enough. That does nothing for your feelings. Oh Maria, you can’t actually believe you’re entertaining the idea of having feelings for him in the first place. There’s an attraction there, sure, in a if-he-asked-you-to-sleep-with-him-you-would-probably-say-yes kind of way. You can appreciate his features, you can admit that he’s ridiculously attractive (for a midget). But it doesn’t go deeper than that, and you know now that it doesn’t go deeper for him either. You’re a thorn in his side, who he begrudgingly agrees to train out of some sense of duty. That’s fine. Except…

Except your fascination with his eyes doesn’t just stem from you good you think they’d look above you. It’s been the same thing since day one - there’s just something about him you crave. His closeness, his attention. He’s interested you since the beginning, and you just don’t know why. It looks like you won’t ever find out.

“Hey.” Levi flicks your forehead again, ignoring the glare you throw his way. “You’re thinking too loudly. Cut it out.”

You cut it out.

Not even a whole minute later, he asks, “What were you thinking about?”

He just can’t make up his mind, can he? What an adorable little sadist.

For maybe the first time since you arrived here, you think carefully about your words before speaking. “I was thinking about something that happened once back home.” When he doesn’t say anything, only raises a brow, you continue, “Millie and I went out this one time, with this guy I liked but was too shy to tell. It was pretty late, and I was really tired, so we got separated somehow. I ended up in front of this large mansion. Large, large. Like, I grew up there as one of the richest girls on the block and I still thought it was huge -”

“Get to the point,” Levi grumbles, and you smirk at his impatience. You really do think he should hear this one.

“I knocked on the door, and these two women opened it. I told them what happened, and they agreed to let me stay the night. So I ate dinner with them and then -”

The lieutenant just isn’t content with letting you tell your story without interrupting. “You actually went in? That’s so fucking stupid. Not to mention dangerous. Why didn’t you just try to go home?”

“I’m scared of walking alone at night.” You wave your hand dismissively and hurry on before he can chide you further about how unsafe it is to trust strangers. “So anyway, I went to sleep in one of their spare rooms, but in the middle of the night...I heard something. A scratching sound. It freaked me out.”

He scoffs. “I would guess you got murdered after that, but since you’re here, I guess we weren’t so lucky.”

You look at him crossly. “Ha-ha. No, I made it through the night. I asked them about it the next morning -”

“And then they killed you.”

“No. They told me they’d love to tell me, but they couldn’t, because I wasn’t part of their secret society that they had built the mansion for. So I left, but a month later, I ended up getting lost there again.”

“You’re fucking useless.”

“Shut up.” You’re not sure where you get the gall to tell him that. “I stayed the night again, I heard the scratching again, and I asked again. But they said the same thing. So I said, screw it, I really want to know, I’ll join the secret society. They tell me that first I need to tell them how many houses there are in Stohess. It doesn’t have to be exact, but it has to be close.”

Levi’s brows are furrowed in concentration. He shakes his head with a frown, clearly running it over in his head. “I can’t see how you could figure something like that out. It would take you ages to walk through every single street and count all of them. Why would they need to know that anyways?”

You shrug. “Haven’t the faintest clue. But remember I said there was that guy I liked? His father is actually a mathematician, and the man’s a chip off the old block. So I go to him, and he helps me out. Approximates the shit out of it. I thank him with a kiss and then go to the mansion, and give them my final answer.” You lick your lower lip, basking in how intently Levi was listening to your story. “They said I was close enough and that they could finally tell me where the sound was coming from. They lead me to a gold door, and give me a gold key. Actual gold, Lieutenant.”

“Fascinating,” he mutters sarcastically.

“It is,” you agree, humming, “I open the door, but then there’s another door. This time it’s silver.”

There’s deep confusion in those grey eyes. Something is very thrilling about having him hang on to your every word.

“They hand me a silver key, and I open the silver door, and then there’s a bronze door. At this point I’m really irritated, but they give me a bronze key and promise that this is the last door. So I put it in, unlock it, and open the door. And then I finally see it.”

You’ve arrived at the base. Snapping your heels together, you press your fist to your chest and salute. “Thanks for walking me back, Lieutenant. See you tomorrow.”

“What?” His eyes narrow. “Finish the story, (L/N). What was making the sound?”

You gasp in mock surprise, scandalized. “I can’t tell you, you’re not part of the secret society.”

If only you could capture his face in this very moment. It’s as though he goes through all the stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance all in one second. His mouth falls open in surprise, and you burst out laughing, pointing at him gleefully.

“Ooh, I got you so good!”

Levi gives you the dirtiest look you’ve ever seen, which only serves to make you guffaw even louder. You grin broadly - it feels so amazing to one-up him, even if it’s in this brief, stupid exchange. He can take this as your revenge for flustering you in the hallway a few months ago. Just who did this man think he was playing with? You are the product of the bitches and bastards of the fakest place in the world, so yeah, you can tell a story, and you can act your heart out. In fact, what were you doing here in the military? You should’ve joined a traveling theatre group, now that would have put your many talents to good use.

“Your sense of humor is shitty,” the lieutenant informs you flatly. Oh, you beg to disagree. “Laughing at your own jokes doesn’t make them good. So it was all fake, then?”

You do your best to control your giggles. “Y-yeah. I don’t just sleep over at random mansions. And I’m not scared of being alone in the dark.”

“All of it was fake?” he asks again, and this time it’s your turn to be confused.

“Yes?”

He tsks, whether at you or himself you’re not sure, then lets out a tired sigh. Sparing no further pleasantries, he orders you to bed, warns you not to be late tomorrow, and adds that he’s looking forward to the fresh hell he plans to inflict on you. You salute again, just to be extra, then start walking to the female barracks, still laughing to yourself. Hopefully this won’t seem like a hazy dream tomorrow. You got him, you really got him.

Just before you change into your nightgown, a fleeting thought pops into your mind.

Was the reason the lieutenant double-checked that the story was fake because you mentioned that there had been a guy you liked? No, that was ridiculous. He probably just wanted to check that his subordinate that he was investing so much time in wasn’t a complete idiot. But the thought is stuck in your head now, and you fight back a smile, burying your face in your pillow. Maybe you are a little drunk, but you could go back to hating him in the morning.

____________________

It’s astonishing to you, but you’ve actually improved. Gone are the days of your legs aching after running a few measly laps. When Rashad attempts to pin you down, you can flip him over and hold him there. The ODM gear starts to feel more natural, and zipping through the air is slowly becoming muscle memory. Even the swords feel just right in your hands, although it’s weird that you could run out of them and then have nothing to defend yourself with. Oh well, you don’t plan to be in that kind of situation anyways.

You hate to admit it, but Lieutenant Levi’s training is paying off. It’s not something you realize until you learn, with a start, that you are in the top ten. Number six, to be specific. Ricky mocks you endlessly for being one of those people who say they don’t care when they in fact care very much, as though he’s not two ranks below you.

Without telling Millie, you send a letter to your mother, telling her about your achievements.

Mama,

Sorry for taking so long to write. I wasn’t so sure you wanted me to. I still don’t know. But l wanted to tell you that I’m doing well here. I’m number six in the ranks. Isn’t that cool?

Millie’s doing well too, although I’m sure Mrs. Shackel keeps you updated. We have these two boys who follow us around like annoying flies. One’s from a village in Rose, and the other’s actually from an outer city of Wall Maria. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to marry a poor boy. I’ll find someone rich to settle down with eventually.

I hope you’re taking care, and I hope Grandma is too. Her condition hasn’t gotten any worse, has it? If you need me to send something from here, I’ll do my best to see if I can find it.

I wish I was the kind of daughter who could write you a longer letter. Sorry, Mama, but I’m not sure what else to say. Who knows if I’ll see you again?

Lots of love,

(F/N)

____________________

“I” - huff - “need it.”

“No.”

“I” - huff - “will” - huff - “kill you.”

“Tch. You’d try.”

“Just give me the water, please.”

“You still have a lap left.”

“I’ll do it, it’s important to stay hydrated!”

“Do the lap, then you get the water.”

“If you don’t give it to me now, I’ll faint.”

“Then I’ll leave you out here.”

“You wouldn’t - well, you would, but you shouldn’t.”

“Don’t want to. So get to it.”

“God, fine!”

“...”

“Now can I” - huff - “please have it?”

“I don’t know, can you?”

“You are such a -”

“You talk too much.”

“Oh my” - cough - “God. Are you trying to choke me?”

“You wanted the water.”

“To drink, not for you to shove down my throat and waterboard me with!”

“Ungrateful wretch.”

“What are you, a charming prince from a novel?”

“Yes. Now drink up, my bratty duchess, we’ve got more work to do.”

____________________

There’s dirt on your face, your sleeves, and your shoes, and yet you stay still, with a small grin on your face. You’re lying down, facing up, hands pressed up against the ground. To anyone flying above, you’d blend in with the dirt perfectly. Or at least, that’s what you’re counting on.

Somewhere out there, Ricky is on the hunt looking for you.

Your gear lies hidden a few feet away, since you didn’t want anything chunky to ruin your brilliant camouflage. Obviously a good long wash will do wonders for you later, but for now you stay quiet, ignoring the filth on your otherwise pristine self. The forest is quiet, with the light chirps of birds that you’re sure are very cute but would take a shit on you if you stay here too long. You breathe in and out quietly, stomach tense as you wait to see if your plan will work.

The wait isn’t long. You hear him before you see him, faint clicking sounds that his ODM gear is nice enough to alert you with. Pressing down into the ground, you hold your breath and close your eyes halfway, convincing yourself that you’re part of the nature that surrounds you. If you believe it hard enough, maybe this will actually work and Ricky won’t spot you.

After a second that feels like an hour, you hear him fly away and you breathe easy, running a hand through your hair.

Only then you feel something brush up against your finger, something hairy that’s crawling up your hand -

You let out an ungodly shriek, jumping to your feet. The poor bug that crawled onto your hand is flung off as you thrash your arms this way and that, smacking your skin just to get it off, get it off, get it off!

For all your efforts, Ricky hears you scream and immediately zooms back, chortling. He lands down in front of you, placing his finger on your nose as soon as you calm down.

“Found you.”

You sigh. This extreme version of hide-and-seek may have been a bad idea.

____________________

Millie has her head in your lap, a map in her hands as she shakes her head. Apparently there’s something marvelous about the document, since she can’t keep her eyes off it.

“I don’t think I ever realized how large the space is between the walls,” she mutters, “there’s so much distance between Maria and Rose. It didn’t feel that way when we came here.”

“Yeah,” you hum, absentmindedly tracing designs on her cheek, “makes you wonder how different people get the more inward they go.”

Millie’s nose wrinkles in concentration. “Stephen has a slight accent. Have you noticed?”

“Mmhm. He does good work hiding it, though. It’s hard to pick up on it unless he has to roll his r’s.” You try snatching the map from her hands but she holds on tightly, scolding you over trying to give her a papercut. Well that’s hilarious, considering the two of your are covered in scratches and bruises all over, but that’s Millie for you, always striving for the closest thing to perfection she can get.

You lean your head back against the bark of the tree, leaving her to her observations. It’s been a while since the two of you have gotten to hang out together, away from everyone else. It’s really no one’s fault, you’re both busy and it’s not like you haven’t already spent most of your lives together. Millie has her studies to religiously focus on, her rivals to crush, and apparently her maps to drool over. Meanwhile, you have friends to playfully compete with, horrible doodles to draw next to your scribbled notes, and your mind is strangely preoccupied with…

“Look, it’s your best friend,” Millie said noncommittally, nodding her head to the right.

Deja vu hits you like a merchant’s cart. You’re sitting under the same tree, he’s walking in the same direction. When he catches your gaze, you decide to complete the scene and give him a bright smile and a friendly wave.

Levi stares at you for two seconds, and then rolls his eyes and keeps walking. You bite your lip, just slightly amused.

It’s an improvement.

____________________

"(L/N), you’ve got a letter too!” are the words that shake you out of your sleep haze in the morning. You jump up, pushing past the others trying to get their hands on their mail. Reginald, the man who's nice enough to put up with this crap once a week, thrusts an extremely fancy envelope in your hand. Your name is written on the back in your mother’s expert penmanship. You eagerly walk back to your seat, ignoring the glares and eyerolls from some people who obviously weren’t getting their letters in pretty envelopes.

You sit back down at the table, opening the letter with extra care. It’s from your mother, and that makes it precious, so you want to savor it the best you can. Across from you in her normal seat, Millie raises a brow.

“Your mom wrote to you?”

“I wrote to her a few weeks ago. Just wanted to catch up,” you say quietly, not meeting her eyes, “I’m surprised she wrote back.”

Next to Millie, Stephen’s brows furrow. “Why wouldn’t your mother write back to you?”

“No reason,” you answer quickly, “she’s just a busy woman.”

With your friends’ watching your reaction carefully, you unfold the piece of paper, beginning to read.

To my darling daughter,

You say you don’t write much, and yet it gave me a headache just to read that much. You know that I like to be organized, so I’ll answer your unwanted letter point by point.

It’s certainly wonderful that you’re sixth in the ranks. Perhaps that means you’re the sixth least likely to die? Maybe the next time I hear from you, it’ll actually be from your commanding officer telling me how special you were, but how that didn’t stop you from meeting your terrible end. Hopefully there’ll at least be a small pension that comes with it.

Mrs. Shackel and I met for tea last week. She told me you were being personally trained by the best soldier in the Scouts. I have an idea - marry him, someone with such a valuable skill set surely isn’t poor, and is much better suited to your tastes. That way not only will you leave me without a daughter, but you’ll also leave the poor man a widow as well. Would that satisfy your cruelty, dear?

I am taking care. Grandma is taking care. We are doing fine without you. We don’t need anything from you. I don’t think we ever have. Had I known I was raising such a manipulative, heartless girl, I would have prayed to that ridiculous church that you die during childbirth. Unfortunately, Sina did not give me the good instincts to run a knife through you the second you were born.

Please do not write again.

Lots of love,

Your doting mother

“(F/N),” Millie starts immediately, taking in your stricken expression. She must have a good idea of what the letter says. “Forget about it, she’s a -”

You clear your throat loudly, standing up. Stephen looks worried, but he also seems unsure as to what to do. You don’t want him to do anything, hell, you don’t even want Millie to do anything. You want to get out of here. The room is suddenly suffocating. Your eyes are stinging but you are damned if you’re going to break down in here, so you only shake your head, unable to form words. You wave a hand at Millie, hoping she gets the hint not to follow you.

Without looking at anyone, you rush out of the mess hall. Despite your determination to wait until you’re definitely in a secluded area, tears start flowing down your face the second you step out. With an ugly, pained sob escaping you, you break out into a run.

Now that it’s getting a bit chillier, the cold bites into your eyes, making them water even more. You stop running after a few minutes, in the middle of the grounds. With everyone still having breakfast, there’s no one here yet, and you take that as an invitation to drop to your knees and start crying in earnest.

Why did she have to be so cruel?

You’re not a crier, you’re really not. An avid complainer, sure. A whiner at times. Definitely a sore loser. But you don’t particularly get any catharsis out of crying like so many other people do. When it comes to your mother, though...she’s just always known exactly where to strike her punches to turn you into a helpless little girl again. She can make you start blubbering so easily, and you hate that she can control your emotions even from so far away.

So you read the letter over and over again, until you’re mouthing the words on your lips that taste salty from the waterworks coating them. You’re trying to be quiet, but it’s beyond your control. You’re sobbing and wailing, and showing no sign of stopping.

There’s a quiet rustling beside you as someone walks up, and you shut your eyes tightly for a second. “M-Mil, I’m fine, I swear.”

“Are you?” Levi inquires, and you choke on a surprised sob, swallowing the embarrassing sound at the last second. Furiously wiping your eyes, you make to stand, but he crouches down instead.

He’s been in close proximity to you before, but never like this. Right now he’s near enough for you to reach out and touch his cheek if you so desired, but far enough that he’s not overwhelming you, and yet you can see the pores on his cheeks, the individual lashes lining those gorgeous grey eyes. You wipe your cheeks angrily. Great, just great, this incident will set you back several months on your plan. As though he was someone who needed to see you in such a vulnerable state.

The lieutenant outstretches his hand expectantly, and you’re not sure why you give him the letter so easily. You watch as his eyes scan the cruel words.

“I know,” you say before he can speak, “I know it’s not a big deal. But she’s my mother, I just - I just wanted her to - I thought she could at least be a little proud - “

You don’t realize another tear has rolled down your cheek until he brushes his thumb across your face, wiping it off easily. God, he must think you so weak. You wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to stop your private lessons right here and now.

But when you look at him, there’s no condescension on his face. There’s not even pity. You can’t place it. To an outsider he might look angry, but after knowing him for almost a year, you know that’s not it. It’s something strangely...protective. Fierce. You never expected him to look at you like that. You don’t know what to make of it.

“Stop crying,” he orders, not unkindly. It could be taken as a request. “Do you want to keep this letter?”

“I - I don’t know.”

It seems your body is more obedient than you are, because you stop tearing up, and when you wipe your face again, it remains dry.

“That’s it,” Levi murmurs, as his hands hold yours, warming them up. “Personally, I’d rip it to shreds. But that’s up to you.”

What’s going on? He’s being...well, he’s being nice. He’s never nice. He’s not always unpleasant, and he indulges in your silly banter, but he’s never been so...soft, especially not with you. And just why are you so easily warming up to him, going as far as to curl your fingers around his? Is it because his hands are warm against your cold ones, or is it...is it because…

“I want to keep it,” you blurt out, partly to keep yourself from the unwelcome thoughts inside your head.

He nods. and then gently grasps your arms, bringing both you and him to your feet. He places the letter in your hand, and then proceeds to brush the sides of your uniform off. It’s rough, but you’re emotional and this feels like the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for you.

“Thanks,” you breathe. It’s hard to say, but you spit it out anyways. “I - I don’t know what to - thank you.”

Finally, Levi looks like himself again, because he rolls his eyes and mutters, “I just picked your lazy ass up, (L/N), don’t look so fucking grateful about it.”

You smile softly, but he looks away, obviously feeling awkward. He truly goes through moods like he’s trying on different outfits, the weirdo. You decide that just this once you can spare him - besides, you need to save face too. You turn around, intending to walk away.

The lieutenant grabs your hand at the last second. He grips it tightly, keeping your arm outstretched. If only your heart could stop lurching like this, it’s not as if he’s going to pull you in for a kiss - he’s not the type.

“(L/N).”

“Yes?”

“From now on, if you’re going to cry, you’re only going to cry because of me. Understood?”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “Yes, sir.”

He nods, satisfied, and lets you go.

____________________

You can’t believe you’re doing this.

In the past year, you’ve been to Lieutenant Levi’s office once, maybe twice or thrice. Either you had something to tell him (like how you couldn’t train due to severe emotional trauma, which was usually denied), or he led you there himself, to quickly grab something. How come he gets an office anyway? You’re pretty sure one has to be a captain or section commander to get their own space, and Levi is neither. You suppose being humanity’s strongest comes with its own benefits, even if it is an unofficial title. He gets to enjoy the finer things in life. Lucky him.

Anyways, you hadn’t planned on showing up here after hours, and certainly not with a steaming cup of tea in your hands.

Swallowing every bit of your pride, you knock on the door. “Lieutenant?”

No answer. You knock again.

And again.

It’s right as your knocks get just a touch louder that you hear him groan, “I’m coming, just hold on a second.”

When Levi opens the door, you take the quickest second to note that he looks how he did the day he walked you home, dressed in casual clothing. Realistically you know that no one stays in their uniform all day, but it’s still jarring to see him out of it. Someone might mistake him as approachable, although that ridiculous notion would quickly evaporate when they got a good look at his face.

He gives you a quick annoyed lookover, clearly waiting to hear your reason for disturbing him at this time.

“Chamomile,” you say with a grin, thrusting it forward, “Helps you sleep.”

He gives you a long, deadpan look.

“Who asked you to make this?”

“No one asked me.” You let out a puff of air to blow the loose strands of hair that have fallen out from your bun into your eyes. “I’m being nice. As thanks for...you know. Just take it.”

Levi doesn’t take it, but he does turn and go back into his office without closing the door, so you take the invitation and slip in, shutting it behind you. He slips into the chair behind his desk and you make yourself comfortable in the one in the front. There’s important looking documents all over, but there’s an order to them - a method to his madness. There’s not a single pen out of place. Of course, this is your obsessive compulsive midget who organized it, so you can’t expect anything else.

You slide the cup across the desk, where there’s another cup of tea already half empty. Oops, you’ve accidentally fueled his caffeine addiction. “That doesn’t look like chamomile.”

“It’s not. Just regular black tea.”

“Won’t that keep you up even more?”

“That’s the idea,” he says calmly, relaxed and leaning back.

“Wow, you’re a proud insomniac.” You shake your head in a disappointed manner. “If it were me, I’d at least try to sleep.”

Levi gives you a little glare, then pushes aside the paper he was working on to pick up your gift. He peers at it, looking a bit tired all of a sudden. It’s as though the day or the month or the entire year is catching up with him, and his eyes flicker to your eager face before he lets out a long sigh, raises the cup and brings it to his mouth.

Almost immediately he gags, slamming it down as his face scrunches up in disgust. “What the fuck, (L/N)? This is shit!”

Well, excuse you. You’re not a professional tea sommelier, and this isn’t some dainty cafe.

Still, you wince, crossing your arms and curling back into the chair. “Sorry. I’ve never actually made tea before. I’m not a fan.”

“Let me guess,” Levi says in a scathing tone as though you just admitted to cold-blooded murder, “you drink coffee.”

What an ignorant thing to assume.

“I drink milk, I’ll have you know.” You snap this at him, only realizing a second later that it’s not really something to boast about so proudly.

Something he clearly realizes as well, because he’s fighting back a smile and failing pretty miserably. “You drink milk.”

Well, there’s no taking it back now. “Yes.”

“Milk.”

“It makes your bones grow strong, okay?”

He laughs at you, leaning back in his seat. “Of course it does.”

“Don’t make fun of me, it does!”

You bite down the comment that comes to mind, which is that he must not have drank much milk otherwise he’d probably be taller. You’re here to be nice, you remind yourself, even if he’s being his usual infuriating self. There’s lots of nice things you can do, like...like…

Oh my gosh, are you the mean one in this relationship? No, that’s impossible.

“Looks like you have a lot of work,” you say, gesturing to the piles of paper on his desk. “Want some help?”

Levi raises a brow at you, as though to ask you how much help you possibly think you could be. That’s fucking rude. “No, I wouldn't want to waste your strong bones on some boring paperwork.”

It’s your turn to glare. Maybe focusing on his totally wrong opinions about your choice in beverage will help you ignore the fact that the two of you are sitting, dare you say, cozily, in his office. He’s not kicking you out, he’s indulging you in conversation, and he’s even taking another sip from the supposedly terrible cup of tea you made for him. Sure, he grimaces after drinking it, but he’s not throwing it out. That’s...something.

Your relationship with the lieutenant is quickly becoming something dangerous. You’re enjoying his company a little too much lately. You’re thrilling in his laughter too often, you’re drowning in his eyes an unhealthy amount. It could be chalked up to the fact that you’ve just grown accustomed to him, since you see him so often, but you know that’s not it. The more likely explanation is that you just have such low expectations for him that the second he shows basic human decency, you mistake your surprise for some newfound affection for the man. You want that to be the explanation, at least. The alternative is too awful to think about.

“So,” he begins, and you think you’re about to be kicked out until he says, “shitty mom. What’s that about?”

You sigh. That’s about the only conversation topic you don’t want to breach, but you suppose it can’t be avoided. “Typical rich girl problems. She wants to use me for her own purposes, so she’s not happy I got up and abandoned her. Plus, Dad died outside the walls, and she’s not really a fan of me following in his footsteps.” You feel comfortable telling him this much.

Levi looks thoughtful. “Do you plan to die out there?” He’s not fazed by your blunt attitude at all, which is kind of refreshing, actually.

But the question is still...well, how do you answer that? How do you answer it without disappointing him? And why does it matter if you disappoint him? You don’t have the answer to any of these questions, so you only shrug and avert your eyes, letting them drop down the floor. Your goals are your own, and he doesn’t need to know them. He doesn’t pressure you, only hums in understanding.

“I’ve really never had a cup of tea this bad.”

You smile, grateful for the change of topic. “No one’s forcing you to drink it. Lieutenant.”

“Insolent brat, you go a whole conversation and then add the title like you’re doing me some kind of fucking favor.” He’s good at avoiding the topic too. Your eyes light up, and you lean forward.

“Pardon me, sir. Lieutenant Levi. Your grace. My prince charming. The duke of destruction. My deepest apologies.”

“Not forgiven.” He smirks, thoroughly entertained. “Try harder.”

“Make me.” The response slips naturally through your lips, inviting and seductive.

Oh for the love of Rose, you think to yourself, please shut the fuck up. It’s like the second you resolve to keep things neutral with him, he sets something up so well that you have to say something borderline flirtatious. It’s just too easy with him. You lose all semblance of self control, and always end up saying something stupid.

“Should I?” Levi muses, a gleam in his eyes now. “Your mother did suggest that you marry me. Maybe I should take her up on that.” He leans forward with a cruel smile, as if the idea is perfectly enticing to him. “Would you finally be a good girl and listen to me then, (L/N)?”

You freeze, mouth falling open. You had really, truly forgotten that your witch of a mother had included that in her oh-so loving letter, and that he’d read it. Holy hells, the universe wouldn’t be satisfied until the man in front of you had humiliated you in every way, shape and form. And this right here, this is exactly the fucking problem. He never stops you when you unintentionally flirt with him - most of the time he ignores it, and other times he encourages you and you daresay he flirts back. To mess with you, of course, none of this is genuine, but it makes the butterflies in your stomach freak out either way.

“Probably not, sir,” you force out when you find your voice, “I’m actually not looking to get married at all, so if someone did make a wife out of me, I’d fight them tooth and nail.”

He snorts. “Of course you would. Have to make use of those strong bones somehow, don’t you?” This fucking midget, he somehow musters up the audacity to leave you flustered and then moves on and pretends like nothing happened. What an asshole.

“Oh my God,” you groan, “leave me and my milk alone, caffeine addict. Seriously, I know it’s bad out there, but it can’t possibly be bad enough for you to act like such a hardass all the time.”

Levi pauses, the sharp retort that he was surely about to fire dying on his lips. There’s a brief flash of sadness in his eyes, and you bite your lip. Fuck, maybe you’re the one who crossed the line this time. You have a quick apology ready to go. but he speaks before you get the chance.

“For your information,” he says coolly, “I’ve always been like this.”

Well, that’s interesting. He’s not wartorn, just a grump? No one is just negative all the time for no reason, they have to have been screwed over by life somehow. You can’t take his claim at face value, you just have to do some more digging.

“And why is that? Rough childhood?” You snap your fingers, invested in this new guessing game. “Orphaned as a baby. Cast aside by a sibling.” Your eyes sparkle mischievously as you grin. “Abandoned at the altar by your long time lover. She left you for your cousin!”

“It’s past your bedtime,” Levi says, standing up, “lovely of you to drop by, but you better get going.”

The cup that you gave him is now empty.

“Injury. Business deal went wrong.” He pulls you up by your arms, ignoring your scientific hypotheses. “Your favorite pet died. Ooh, I know, the company your father left you in charge of went bankrupt! Wait wait wait, Levi!” He’s pushed you out of the room and has a hand on the door, but before he can close it, you place your palm against his chest, looking at him very seriously.

“Is it the altar one?”

“Why do you need to know?” he asks, seizing your wrist to take it off.

See, this is what you mean by setting you up perfectly. It’s his fault, all his fault. “If my betrothed has a scandalous past, I think I have a right to that information.”

Levi shoves you out and slams the door shut, leaving you beaming as you begin to jog to your dorms. That’s another point for you, and now that you’ve paid him back for comforting you earlier the two of you are even, and you can return to planning for the battle that he has no idea he’s participating in. The stars shine brightly that night, and you sleep easy.

____________________

“Look, they’re back!”

Everyone ignores Grumman’s instructions to stay right where they are, an action they’ll probably pay for in blood, sweat and tears later. The Scouts are returning from their latest expedition, finally. Everyone around the base is always tense when they leave, and now people can rest easy knowing that the next one won’t be for a few months. There’s apprehension in the air - as of right now, no one knows who made it back and who wasn’t so fortunate. You feel a twinge of guilt at the relief that you know the only person is the Survey Corp that you care for know is the most likely to have survived.

Sure enough, there he is next to Captain Erwin, looking weary as he gets off his horse. You’ve pushed forward to the front of the crowd of cadets, all scanning the crowd. You find yourself sandwiched between Ricky, whose long legs make it easy for him to keep up with you, and Petra, who is sighing with a dreamy smile on her face. You follow her gaze, confused.

“What, one of them bring back some food?” You crane your neck to figure out what she’s looking so lovingly at.

“No.” Petra points discreetly, and you follow her finger. “It’s just, he’s rather handsome, isn’t he?”

“Who, Erwin Smith? I mean, I guess, but he’s not really my -”

“No, (F/N).” She shakes her head fondly. “Lieutenant Levi. Don’t you think he’s extremely good-looking?”

Next to you, Ricky barks out a laugh, and you elbow him as you utter with the grace of someone who hasn’t been fantasizing about Levi’s eyes since the moment you met him, “No, not really. You can do better, Petra, trust me.”

A soldier rides in late, his face panicked and sweat trickling down his face.

“Oh, come on, I know the two of you have your differences, but even you have to admit that -”

One second, you’re chattering with Petra and wrestling Ricky with one arm as he grinds your foot against his.

The next second, your ears are ringing with the words that the soldier screams as loud as he can.

“The titans have broken the outer wall! They’ve gotten into Shiganshina!”

In a single moment, everything you know and hold dear changes.

All at once people are shouting, screaming at the poor soldier who delivered the news to explain. The titans have gotten into Shiganshina? How could they have? Is he out of his mind? Who sent him? How many drinks has he had? What does he mean, they’ve broken the outer wall? It’s a wall, it can’t just be broken, so what does he mean? What is he talking about?

It takes you a minute to notice Ricky has completely frozen next to you. His hands are trembling, and he’s mumbling to himself and shaking his head, as though this is a nightmare and he just needs a good pinch to wake up.

“My - my mom and dad, and my sisters,” he’s saying. “They’re not...they can’t fight titans, they’re not soldiers. They need...need help…”

With a terrifying realization, you remember that he’s from Shiganshina. You’re grabbing his arm to steady him, words of reassurance getting stuck in your throat. You don’t know what to say - you can barely control the consuming fear growing inside you, let alone soothe his.

In the next few seconds, Commander Shadis has learned everything he’s going to learn from the messenger, and he lets out a scream you will remember for the rest of your life. The order that’s delivered to you on humanity’s darkest day is simple.

“All Survey Corps members will refill their gas and restock their blades immediately! I want you all back on horseback in five minutes, you hear me? We are riding back to Shiganshina right now! All cadets and other personnel at this base are to gather the rest of the horses and get behind Wall Rose to assist the soldiers there with the refugees! Is that understood?”

He’s met with the chilling cries of at least a hundred people shouting, “Yes, sir!”

Your voice was not among the people who answered. As people run past you to prepare, you run forward, because suddenly you’re scared. Suddenly you’re not so sure that he’ll come back. And you can battle with yourself all you want later, all that’s important to you right now is getting to him. Even as you see tearstained faces pass by, you keep running, because you have to catch him before he goes, you have to -

You catch up to him right before he disappears. Steely grey eyes meet yours as people rush past you, no one sparing even a second glance to the two of you.

For a second, he’s surprised. Then he turns cold, and hard, and you know that many people are about to die. And he’s going to have to witness every. Last. One.

“Is there someone in Shiganshina you need me to look out for?” Levi murmurs, with all the softness of someone who might be riding out to his death.

No, you want to scream. Ricky’s family, maybe, but you don’t even know what they look like, and he’s going to have to worry about saving enough people without you placing an extra burden on his shoulders. No, it’s nothing like that, you just want him to...you need him to...

“Be careful,” you manage to get out in a foolish, rushed request, “please be careful.”

Shock makes its way to his features, as though he thinks it’s out of this world for someone to ask him to stay alive for his own sake. Your heart clenches, but you’re not leaving until he promises you he’s going to come back.

“Levi!” Captain Erwin calls. You don’t have any time left.

Even before he speaks, you know that he’s not going to make you the stupid promise you were hoping for. He’s not flowery, and certainly not one to feed you bullshit. No, he’s real, the realest person you’ve ever known, and his answer is going to be as authentic as he is.

“I’ll do my best.” Levi pulls away from you. “You be careful too, (L/N).”

With that, he breaks away from you and is lost in the crowd.

You don’t even realize you had been holding onto him until your hand is left feeling bare, reaching for him in an endless sea of soldiers storming to their doom.

ohhhhhh, i’ve been waiting for this for a long time. surprise, things are happening!

mommy dearest is rather harsh, isn’t she? reader’s no sweetheart herself, but damn.

yes, there’s a slap on titan reference in there.

poor carla is getting eaten right about now, and reader is here having a moment. sigh.

comment and let me know what you think!

#aot #attack on titan #aot x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #valkyrie stories

[writemekpop]

New Rules | Lay Zhang

Pairing: Lay Zhang x Reader

Summary: Vicious, strict and sexy... your dance instructor Lay is hiding a secret.

Genre: Suggestive, Enemies to Lovers 

Word Count: 1.4k

Gif: @yixing-zhang​​

“Again! And for god’s sake, try and look like you mean it!” 

Your dance instructor Lay’s voice rings through the sweaty studio. Everyone else in the academy went home hours back. Your class struggles on into the night. 

Sweat drips down the flexed muscles of Lay’s neck, disappearing into his coal black tracksuit. His ochre eyes, rough and silky all at once, hide under a low bucket hat. 

You know his full, forbidden lips better than your own name. 

“Hey, Y/n! Stop slacking. You’re still lagging on the turns.”

Your heart races, but not from the exercise. 

Your muscles are crying out for respite, but you turn again and again. It’s useless. The harder you try, the weaker you seem to get. After fifteen minutes, you’re the only one in the class who can’t do it. 

“Y/n, get up. Stop that.” Lay’s voice is like thunder. You hate how delicious your name sounds in his mouth. 

You stop spinning, and stagger to the wall. 

“I know you think you’re working hard, but you’re not. You are the worst in the class, and unless you get your act together very soon, you won’t be in it much longer.”

You don’t dare to look up. A lump stretches your throat, and you beg for the tears to hold.

“Are you serious about being a dancer?” 

“Y-yes,” you whisper. 

“Well, at this rate, you won’t make it. You hear me? You’ll walk, head hanging, out of these doors, scrape a place in a second-rate college, and spend the rest of your life watching your classmates on Inkigayo.”

His words are shards of glass, slicing you into ribbons. You know Lay’s watching you, scanning for any signs of weakness. His eyes send heat waves rippling off your skin. 

“That’s all. Class dismissed.” Lay turns away, and everyone files silently out. 

You choke down a sob. 

----

That night, you return to the studio. Lay’s words throb in your ears, egging you on. 

As you spin around and around, your turns get sloppier and wilder. Your eyes prickle, but you keep pushing yourself, keep forcing your limbs to move. 

Suddenly, your ankle collapses under you. A red spike shoots up your leg, and you land hard on the floorboards. 

You silence your cry. 

Tears streak down your face, and you swipe them away with a sleeve. You try to pull yourself to the wall, but it’s so painful that your vision sparks white.  

As you wrap your arms around your body, you let a sole whimper escape your lips. 

That was your biggest mistake. 

Because all of a sudden, you hear footsteps approaching the door. Cursing, you pull yourself up to standing on a ballet barre, trying not to yelp from the pain. 

It’s Lay. For the first time ever, his raven-black dance uniform is gone, replaced with an open white shirt and jeans. His carved cream chest is so distracting, you almost forget that he hates you. 

“What are you still doing here, Y/n? Class ended three hours ago. Get to bed!” Your lips start to quiver. The pain is bad enough. You don’t need his contempt to make it worse. 

“Yes sir, I’m just packing up.” You try to step towards your bag, but fire rips up your leg. A squeak escapes your lips. 

“Wait, are you hurt?” 

All of a sudden, the distance between you vanishes. Strong arms are lifting you into a chair before you have the chance to protest, heat rolling off Lay’s skin and onto yours. 

Your cheek is pressed against smooth muscle. The nakedness of it sends shivers through you. “You’ve sprained your ankle! Sit right there.”

Once you’re seated, Lay fetches a roll of white gauze and kneels in front of you. The thumping of your heart turns silence into cacophony. Free from its hat, you notice Lay’s hair for the first time, dishevelled curls of ebony. 

You realise what’s changed. He looks… human.  

“Why are you helping me? Y-you hate me.” The question leaps from your lips, uncalled for. 

“I don’t hate you,” Lay murmurs, hands gently wrapping your ankle with gauze. His tenderness leaves you breathless. “I’m just harsh on you because…” 

Lay’s hands drop to the ground, and he leans on them like he might collapse. You might collapse.

“Can I be honest with you?” Oaky eyes flick up to meet yours. You just nod, afraid to speak in case he changes his mind. 

“I haven’t been… teaching long, and-“ He sighs. “I’m worried that if I’m not… strict, no one will take me seriously.” He looks up, and for the first time ever, he’s wearing away at his lip. 

“I’m not funny, or charming… or someone you can like. I’m just someone you can fear. So that’s why I’m mean to you.” 

“There.” Lay looks to the side, flashing you a wry smile. “It’s out. God, I feel like a child to say this, but- could you keep this to yourself?” 

Shivers ripple down your body. You swear to keep his secret. 

Lay grins, and deep dimples spring up in his smooth cheeks. You can’t believe you didn’t know they were there. “I can’t believe you thought I hated you, Y/n! It’s the opposite…you’ve got what it takes. And don’t let an idiot like me tell you don’t.”

Flutters burst in your stomach. Lay kneeling, you sitting, you sink into a breathless silence. You cling to his serious gaze, trying to peer into the man beneath the thick chocolate lashes. 

Then, he lifts his hand to wipe away a dry tear, and you narrowly avoid the urge to kiss his hand. Your body throbs with your pulse. 

“You were crying.” Your conversation has broken down into fragments, swirling in the silent sea of the unsaid. 

You don’t answer him, eyes glued to Lay’s slightly parted lips. 

You lean in closer, and he doesn’t move away. This is the moment you’ve been dreaming of. Your honey-gaze slips to his mouth. Then, you press your lips against his, and they’re warm and oh-so-soft and- 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Lay springs back, clamping his hand to his mouth as if it isn’t his.  

“I-I- uh..” The back of your neck burns, and your heart pounds faster than ever. “I thought you…uh-“ Your stomach twists into a tight ball, sinking like a weight inside you. 

Lay’s blank expression is like a punch to the throat. You squint at him through screwed eyes, praying for a quick exit. 

Then, a frown breaks through the fog on Lay’s face. He cocks his head to the side, sizing you up. “What were you thinking?”

Your shoulders drop; you can’t be bothered to make up a lie. Taking a deep breath, you decide to go for the truth. 

“I know you see me as yourself as my instructor, and me as your student. But I-I see you as a man… and me as a woman. Is that so wrong?”

There’s a silence so sharp it could break glass. 

The shadow of a smile lifts Lay’s lip as he speaks. “That’s not wrong.”

And then, he leans forward once more, and you feel like you’re in a slow-motion movie. You watch Lay’s tongue flick over his lips, leaving them plump and glistening. 

This time, he’s the one whose midnight eyes trail down to your mouth, but slowly, as if he’s tasting your skin with his eyes. When his firm hand grasps your thigh, you feel him shaking. 

That gives you the confidence to close the gap between you. You pull Lay’s head towards you, and kiss him on the mouth. It’s a searching kiss. A kiss that needs to be returned. 

He kisses you back. Softly. Safely. Then impatiently. 

His fingers trail up the fabric of your T-shirt. The cold mirror pushes up against your back. You gasp at his taste. You can hear him gasping too. 

You imagine how you feel to him, tear-salted. Your wayward hand feels cream muscle you’d only dreamt of feeling. 

The fumble, the awkwardness of learning something unknown… that only makes it sweeter.

When you pull back, you realise you now know Lay intimately, but at the same time, you barely know him at all. 

Lay makes as if to speak, but you stop him with a finger. 

Sometimes, the best things can’t be expressed in words.  

#lay zhang #lay #exo #exowritersnet #zhang yixing #yixing #exo smut #lay smut #yixing smut #lay angst #exo angst #yixing angst #exo fanfiction #lay fanfiction #yixing fanfiction #exo x reader #exo drabbles #exo imagines #exo reactions #lay imagines

[morwensteelsheen]

Faramir for the ask game!

hell yeah king thank you

one aspect about them i love

Earnestness!! Oh my god, coming across book Faramir at the height of the pandemic in the middle of our second (third?) lockdown, in the doldrums of my masters when everything was just drenched in awful, detached irony was like the stormclouds clearing and the angels singing. My guy is given exactly half an opportunity to talk and he TAKES IT and spends 9,000 words rambling and ranting about history and morality with the prose of a poet and the incisiveness of a prophet. I just. God damn. There really are few fictional characters who mean as much to me as he does!

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

He’s neither entirely cynical nor entirely idealistic. He is one of the most overtly ideological characters in the book (which is deeply funny given that Tolkien says he speaks for him, yet Tolkien was no great ideologue), and is one of the most overtly political characters too. His interactions with various characters show a certain self-awareness that could be misinterpreted as cynical (but is not), while most of what he says about eg the world around him shows a faithfulness that could be misinterpreted as near-naive idealism (but is not). In the text, we never see him shy away from being frank and honest about the politics he faces, yet nor do we see him being needlessly sneering. It’s an important balance, I think.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

He wouldn’t fuck his clone, but he would consider it; he absolutely would not admit that to anyone.

one character i love seeing them interact with

Éowyn. Denethor. Absolutely him and Denethor. We simply love two see two kings ripping each other’s throats out because they’re both constitutionally incapable of taking an L gracefully.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Éowyn. Elrond! Sweet Jesus, Elrond!

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

He and Merry get on like a house on fire (too soon?), and, once the road to the Northern Kingdom is cleared, make a habit of swapping books.

#asks #long post #thank u xxx

[writingssummit]

𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 !

dancing headcannons !

content: fluff, that’s really it lol 

characters: sugawara, terushima, tendou, yamaguchi, oikawa.

a/n: not me listening to a haikyuu playlist and getting inspo from it- totally didn’t stay up all night to finish season 3 either wha t ? idk what you’re talking about.

i noticed my bnha post didn’t do so well, so i’ll stick with the haikyuu guys (and girls maybe? ooo) for now <3 hope you enjoy some silly fluff with them !

sugawara !

2nd most wholesome on this list.

Suga and you are just cleaning up the gym after practice one day.

You’re not exactly glad to be doing it, but you had offered to help your boyfriend out earlier,so there was no turning back now.

You had decided to play some music at some point, opting for an upbeat playlist to help you.

With motivation, of course! Upbeat music got you in that mood. Plus, the sound was cool inside the gym.

You hear Sugawara humming along every so often, the way you two moved around each other as you cleaned was almost like it’s own kind of dance, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Sugar, come here.”

He takes your hands in his, pulling you away from the task at hand all of a sudden

You protest a little, but you give in and just stay put.

He’s grinning at you, tugging you a little closer.

“What’s this?” You cock an eyebrow at him.

“Just a little dance, c’mon! The clean up can wait a bit longer. Your face will get wrinkles with how much you’ve been pouting.”

Okay backhanded remark aside, you couldn’t just say no

You laugh as he sways back an forth with you to the beat, occasionally stepping on each other.

“Guess we both have two left feet, Y/N.” He jokes, spinning you around as the song changed to a slower one.

Any dances with him are just lighthearted and fun, neither of you really minding the fact that it was so offbeat.

Get dance lessons smh 

He’d add in twirls here and there

Eventually you’d settle down from all the laughs and goofing off and just sway back and forth slowly, you head resting on his chest, his hands on your waist.

Please omg I want this :’)

You guys get so caught up in it that somebody ends up coming back and then catching you both (yes, it was daichi, and yes he left awkwardly).

terushima !

This mans tries to be suave when he dances

You aren’t fooling anybody okay

stick with the sprinkler or something -

If anything, his dancing can be described as chaotic and random.

Sure, he has some moves but sir you aren’t michael jackson or something- 

One night in particular though, it’s a bit different. 

He kept bugging you to check something out with him that night, and so you just agreed instead of arguing about it at 2am.

He shows up at your window and he climbs inside your room.

Yes, yes he did and I do not regret that 

“Y/N! Check it out!”

You have to shush him because wtf it’s 3AM SIR

He’s quick to apologize, and just shoves one of the earbuds to his phone at you, and you of course pop it into your ear

And then you’re being pulled close and away gently, and his tongue is sticking out in slight concentration. cute :’)

i honestly forgot what this was called so uh my bad but it’s really fun trust me

“Somebody’s been practicing.” Tease him, please LOL

“It’s fun, right??”

So he CAN dance, if he actually tries. B)

Yeah don’t forget that he literally snuck into your house, because I sure haven’t

Your parents woke up not soon after you both started to laugh and giggle, but you didn’t hear the footsteps because you both were to wrapped up in the music and each other

Let’s just say he was banned from the house for a month or so 

Worth it though

tendou !

At this point it’s common knowledge that he breaks out into little dances randomly 

He isn’t even confined to any actual type of dance, he just goes for whatever he feels like doing in the moment, whatever feels right

So whenever you dance with him, it’s always really entertaining to watch him

But

He’ll tug you into a dance literally anywhere without a care in the world.

Which is cute omg, but social anxiety could never

This time just happened to be on the sidewalk, because there was a musician, and in Tendou’s words; “We can’t just let their music go to waste~”

So yeah, he’s dancing with you on the sidewalk in front of literal strangers and you’re embarrassed to say the least dw i would be too T^T

Like sir please why here

He’s reassuring you over and over that you’re just fine, let the people stare, etc etc. After all, you’re just having fun together, and that’s no crime

True, y’all could be robbing the pet store of hamsters if you really wanted to. yes i imagine he would do that and I’ll say it again smh

You end up loosening up eventually, he was just too happy and c’mon, this is Tendou. :’)

Y’all may have started a public dance floor

And it’s awesome as hell when you think about it

He twirls you dramatically, waving his free hand around as he hummed along to the song.

“Y/N, see what happens when you have just a liiiittle bit of fun? Hm~?”

Okay fine you see his point there

Literally sounds so fun to do this, so he gets 100/10 

yamaguchi !

Here’s the most wholesome one imo. unless that was tendou, idk-

Yams is so sweet with you, to the way he holds your hand, how he talks to you, all of it.

Dancing with you is no exception here.

He and you were sitting in the living room, all snuggled up on the couch together because it was a rainy day. 

Rainy days were always so calm and nice with him, just watching tv or napping together.

Yams asked you if you wanted to dance this time, rather bashfully though

And then you had an amazing idea

“What if we did it outside? Like in the movies?”

“H-Huh?”

Baby is blushing :’)

But he’s totally up for the idea, he’s nodding and agreeing right away.

Which is how you guys ended up outside in the pouring rain. 

You both were not prepared for the feeling of wet clothes sticking to your skin, it was mildly uncomfortable to say the least-

But you guys were just barefoot on the driveway and you both were holding each other close, just enjoying being there together that it kind of outweighed the initial discomfort

You settled for gentle, slow swying as your head rested against him, his hand reaching up to stroke your cheek every once and awhile

Yes his head is resting on top of yours, or at least his chin is resting on your shoulder

He makes a joke about how it’s weird to dance with no music

And then you end up just humming together and making your own. :’)

By the time you guys are done, you both vow to do it again, it was actually really calming

But of course y’all are soaking wet so it’s dry off time

Expect many cuddles after :D

oikawa !

Okay as much as he’s not my favorite of all time

I can appreciate the idea that he’d be the most knowledgeable dancer on this list

Like mans can serve and set like nobody’s business

But he can also dance.

He’s honestly proud of his dance skills, and takes it upon himself to teach you.

He’s a a bad teacher tho -

You guys are at your house during a holiday with your family, and he of course said his present to you this year is to teach you how to dance

Your family finds it funny because they know you can’t dance for your life.

But they’re egging Oikawa on

“Please no, end my suffering”

“So dramatic, tsk tsk. C’mon, Y/N-chan, it’ll be fun! I’m a great teacher.”

No you aren’t but go off LMAO

The first 15 minutes is awkward because you literally don’t know where to put your feet or hands.

Oikawa is smirking at you, because he finds it adorable 

After a bit of teaching you have some of it down, so now it’s just you both waltzing around the living room, trying not to bump into furniture

Your family is clapping and hooting because that’s what parents do apparently

You smack his arm lightly when he leans down to peck at your jaw real quick

Sir please

He gets a A+ for actually knowing an actual dance dance, but a B because

I know he would suck at teaching.

thanks for reading this ! i hope these were decent, i had fun writing tendou’s and suga’s, it gave me serotonin LOL - 

asks/requests are open ! check yay’s and nay’s in basics for this blog !

#sugawara x reader #sugawara imagine #sugawara x y/n #terushima x y/n #terushima imagine #terushima x you #tendou x reader #tendou imagine #tendou x y/n #yamaguchi x reader #yamaguchi imagine #yamaguchi x y/n #oikawa x y/n #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader

[mooshys]

zara employee!AU futakuchi

content: me trying to be funny, retail headcanons

word count: 2.0k

a/n: ah yes, so winter (@/wackatoshi) and I planned out this entire mall universe for the hq boys and it’s the funniest thing to think about. y’all know those rude zara employees at the mall who judge you as soon as you walk in and tell you that “everything’s out on the floor already” when you ask for a size up? and all the racks on the floor are in shambles? that’s what inspired this. not sure if another installment will be added to this, but whatever! for reference, the other employees: oikawa, ennoshita, kuroo, hanamaki.

the worst person to work with... ever

he completely fits the stereotype of zara employee

will go on his lunch break, but “accidentally” forget to clock out, so he’s still earning cash for eating his sandwich in the back. also prolongs his breaks by at least 5 minutes

can never be found when there’s a rush. and by the time they DO find him, the store is completely empty

comes in late, but leaves as soon as his shift ends

never comes to the store on his days off and whenever the managers text him asking if he can pick up a shift he says he’s “busy”

everyone knows it’s a lie. one time ennoshita, the manager, went on his break and saw futakuchi buying a pretzel at the auntie anne's from the mall food court even though he texted ennoshita like thirty minutes ago that he already had important plans for the day. futakuchi made direct eye contact with him as he took a bite into his pretzel, not the least bit apologetic about lying

all his coworkers wonder how he still has this job

spends most of his shift complaining about working than actually working

when people ask if there are any other sizes in the back, he’ll go to the storage room, play on his phone for 5 minutes, and then walk out to the customer and tell them that they're out of stock

will say he’s doing go-backs, but in reality he’s just walking around the store in circles to avoid work

when he’s REALLY annoyed he sometimes won’t even wear his name tag on the floor so the customers don’t know if he works there and will leave him alone

doesn’t even try to hide how disgruntled he is with work, will literally say “I hate this job” loud enough for customers to hear when he’s shit talking with oikawa behind the register. does loud audible sighs when a customer comes up to check out if he’s in the middle of telling a story

awful at folding the clothes. he might as well just compress all the shirts into a ball and toss them into the bag instead

DESPISES CLOSING WITH A PASSION. he hates staying back even five minutes to pick clothes off from the ground. will literally curse that the company is so inconsiderate of his time even though he clocked in late to his shift...

if you’re on shift with him be prepared to do all the work... go see a chiropractor cuz you’ll basically be carrying him on your back the whole time!

he also finds the most creative ways to get others to do his work for him. his usual victim is hanamaki. he’ll go up to him and say “hey, do you mind folding up all the shirts in zone B for me? ennoshita asked me to organize the back since we’re doing new promos tomorrow” and hanamaki’s so clueless and goes “yeah! sure dude, I got it!”

futakuchi doesn’t organize in the back, he hides behind all the boxes while crouched down on his phone for about twenty minutes before going out on the floor again

someone save hanamaki he’s literally doing futakuchi’s work for him... poor boy needs a RAISE

you actually don’t work at the store futakuchi works at, you’re a part timer at another nearby store

during the holiday season the zara futakuchi works at gets super busy and you take a few extra shifts there to help out

you and futakuchi have an... interesting relationship

first thing you say when you see him during the holiday season: “you haven’t been fired yet?”

he’s rolling his eyes going “oh haha. very funny. saw you were at the bottom of sales last week. that’s probably why you’re always getting transferred here, huh.”

you two are constantly snapping back at each other, even when you’re ringing other people up at the registers. the customers are standing there awkwardly as you two scan and passive aggressively insult each other

it’s so weird, like you two are so mean to each other, but at the same time you’re both practically attached to the hip during your shifts together

futakuchi is more... punctual during the holiday season and even takes a COUPLE EXTRA SHIFTS which floors ennoshita (he’s so moved, he thinks futakuchi has had a change of heart and is trying to improve his work ethic... buddy that’s not it, I’m so sorry)

every time you clock in, futakuchi is there too and you’re going. oh great. not this guy again. it’s like clockwork, as soon as your shift starts, you’re at each others’ neck

when you diss the way he folds clothes, he’s scrutinizing your high pitched customer service voice

at first the other guys are laughing at what’s going on between you two and they’re thinking you two are Mortal Enemies For Life

but then they start noticing little by little that your relationship with futakuchi isn’t like that at all

when you’re scolding futakuchi with his awful folding, you take the time to show him all the steps to make a clean display free of wrinkles. he’s standing next to you trying to imitate the way your hands work on the fabric. he adds in a few snarky comments here and there, but you hush him as you’re giving instructions

and when you’ve got a huge rack of clothes from the dressing room that need to go back on the floor, futakuchi offers to help you put them away. he’ll say “ennoshita told me to help out” and you brush it off, but he’s actually lying. he’s helping you on his own accord

he has his asshole persona to keep up with, so he’s still sliding in snide remarks, but you’re so used to it and can keep up with him that he’s always on his toes. he likes this back and forth with you

one day, kuroo starts talking about you with futakuchi to get the 411 on what’s going on between you two. futakuchi denies it all until kuroo starts teasing him by saying he’ll ask you on a date. that’s when futakuchi’s going. wait what

“yeah, there’s a nice restaurant about ten minutes from here and I think going there on a date would really—”

futakuchi starts internally freaking out. he’s going “oh. a date. at a nice italian restaurant near here. wow.”

and kuroo’s got a nice lopsided grin because HE KNOWS and he’s still egging him on

that’s when it finally hits futakuchi. he... he likes you. He Likes You A Lot

the tips of his ears start turning red at this sudden revelation

and upon seeing this kuroo’s like "Alright bud, I was just messing with you. But if you don’t ask her out on a date then I sure as hell will!"

futakuchi’s going alright man give me like a week

Bro futakuchi is even MEANER to you than he was before because he Likes you and Doesn’t Know How To Deal With His Feelings since he’s got the emotional capacity of a grade schooler

futakuchi: wow. that blouse you’re wearing. it suits you.

you: really? thank you I think the color—

futakuchi: yeah. it’s ugly. like you.

you: ...

kuroo’s watching the exchange from the register completely horrified. he’s like. what have I done. futakuchi whips his head over with pleading eyes when you tell him to shove it and kuroo’s shaking his head thinking “I never should have gotten involved”

he’s in too deep already and when you leave the floor to help ennoshita with the stockroom, kuroo has another one-on-one with futakuchi. he tells him the basics like “Don’t call the person you like Ugly”

“well what else am I supposed to say”

truly a lost cause...

it’s like talking to a wall with futakuchi. kuroo’s telling him to be polite and sweet to you and futakuchi’s nodding his head in understanding, but as soon as he’s within a 3ft radius near you his brain is thinking “insult them for attention” kuroo’s like DUDE. WHAT DID I SAY.

this sad exchange goes on for a week and by then kuroo’s like. I give up on you. I can’t deal with this and the holiday rush. he’s waving up the white flag

futakuchi’s been kinda meaner to you than before, so you start ignoring him a bit and he’s getting so frustrated with himself that he doesn’t even know what to do and kuroo notices you two not talking AT ALL during a shift and he’s like. Futakuchi. Just Confess Already. Jesus.

futakuchi wishes he never realized he likes you because he wants to go back to those work days when you two would be Kinda Cheeky towards each other and everything was lax

the confession happens when ennoshita assigns you and futakuchi to work on orders in the back room. at first, futakuchi was trying to find hanamaki to do the work for him, but was promptly dragged by ennoshita to the back. there was no getting out of this

when he saunters on in, he sees you’re already printing out the shipping labels and folding up boxes and it’s silent, your back is facing him and he can definitely feel something is wrong

you saw him searching for hanamaki on the floor and it hurt your feelings because were you that insufferable to work with?

there’s silence between you two and then you break it and tell him that he can go back on the floor if he doesn’t want to work with you

and he can sense the hurt in your voice and he’s like... no, no, no that isn’t it

you’re shaking your head and saying “look, I get it. I get on your nerves. I could tell from this past week and you avoiding me. sorry if I did anything wrong... you can grab hanamaki and we’ll finish these orders while you work in the front”

now futakuchi is internally screaming NONONONONO in his mind because YOU’RE not annoying him at all he’s just a complete dummy who doesn’t know how to deal with his own emotions and now you’re on the verge of crying as you fold some shirts with tissue paper

it’s now or never

futakuchi blurts out that he Really Likes You

at first you think he’s joking and you’re going “Are you serious right now? I’m literally crying and you think NOW is the time to do some fake middle school confession? you’re sick”

POOR GUY HE’S LIKE “NO I REALLY MEAN THAT I LIKE YOU... A LOT...”

he’s right next to you now and grabs onto your shoulders so you can get a good look at his face. his eyes are all business as he confesses again

you’ve got your hand over your mouth and it hits you

futakuchi being Extra Mean to you is his way of showing affection...

now you’re throwing your head back in laughter because he’s so dumb. he’s tall and handsome and too cheeky for his own good, but he’s also like an elementary school kid realizing he’s got his first ever crush and he has absolutely No Idea how to Deal With It

after you’re done laughing, you lightly hit him on the chest and throw in a few lighthearted insults before you hug him as tight as you can. he returns the favor by wrapping his arms around you, practically engulfing you

he’s thinking wow. this is nice. he’s keeping his mouth clamped shut to avoid ruining the moment, but he’s totally digging the way you fit perfectly in his arms

when you pull away you notice his face is red all over and now you’re cracking up and calling him tomato head

and at this, he’s pointing at your running mascara and is like “sure I look like a tomato, but you’re looking like a reject Joker with all that smudged makeup”

now you two are fighting in the back, but in a more loving manner

as soon as you both clock out for the night, futakuchi takes you to the nice italian restaurant nearby. the one kuroo mentioned about a week beforehand

it’s the perfect place for a first date

(he’s too prideful to thank kuroo, but what he instead does is send a selfie with you in the picture + the food during the first date. kuroo’s slow clapping it out. he knew the little asshole could do it.)

#futakuchi #futakuchi keiji #futakuchi headcanons #futakuchi x reader #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu ff #futakuchi hcs #hq headcanons #hq hcs #moosh hcs #futakuchi x you #I HATE TAGGIGNAISGNISGNSJG #I haven't been in a zara for over a year and I'm proud of that

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Did anyone ask for Thomas himself for the shipping thing, if not can I ask for him💙

They did not!

Because they were merciful. /j

Aight, here is the Boi of a 1,000 Ships:

💞✨  OTP ✨ 💞:

I waver between:

“Thomas really is superb Ace/Aro-(Does-NOT-Mean-Live-Devoid-Of-Love) representation *heartmelt*”

and

“Thomas/Bertie is a CLASSIC and the Height of Ship and Why Did We All Sleep On This For So Long 💙❤️️💙❤️️💙❤️️💙❤️️”

Other Ships That Are 👌:

Green Arrow—I really love this ship, thanks to @shinygoku’s interpretation with Warren!GreenArrow 💚💙

Jinty—Proposed: Thomas Was Showing Off Due to A Crush And That Led To His Scrape. Annie and Clarabel were appalled because they were Not Ready for their son to have these feelings. The other engines spent the boring parts of the London exhibition teasing the hell out of Thomas for his obviously romance-coded ordeal. (Special shout-out here to Ashima? Who, I think, was way too just Unconvincing a character in many ways for me to really ‘ship’ them. And yet, I thought the writers handled a real, canonical Thomas romance pretty well! They can be hot-blooded and competitive as well as wholesome, Ashima is long-distance and just-out-of-reach, and, most of all, I absolutely believe that the way Thomas would react to a crush is to behave like a total jerk-faced dumbass! So yeah, I think Jinty in RWS and Ashima in TVS are just bizarre astral twins, lol.)

Interesting But Fence 👀:

Oliver! (I don’t know why it should work, but damn they look good together—) Arthur—another pretty classic opposite-attracts dynamic but hey. i also like how they would invert the usual “red oni blue oni” thematic coloring.

Emily—It sounds so stupid (pair the opposite-gender leads!!!!) but they do have some HiT episodes that are just👌 as far as a strong and charged dynamic. An endlessly intriguing if somewhat problematic ship.

Duck—They just have such a cool yin/yang thing going on that you would think it’s possible (tho I admit the chemistry doesn’t exactly jump off the page)

Gordon—With the actual build-date-accurate dynamics, a reinterpretation of their history would be interesting. convincing? who knows, until someone tries it. but interesting, definitely.

James—I’ve said it several times now, but in RWS timeline I absolutely believe Thomas and James had an ill-fated Thing in the early days. And, tbh, I could be open to them re-uniting again after decades of personal growth (and loneliness? since i can see so many of the others pairing off and settling down for good)

Trevor?—Thomas’s unexpected Depth early in the TVS timeline at the end of their episode certainly… gives one something to work with, ya know? I also like the little fission at their first meeting (‘a wut’) but how quickly they get on. Bonus: Trevor already met and got the blessing of all the parents that very day. So, you know, just create some sequel dates between them from there.

Better As Friends 😊: I guess Annie & Clarabel?

HOWEVER…

okay, real talk—and ya gotta scrub the “aunties” voice actors out of your brain completely here—but I feel like the notion of Thomas/Annie/Clarabel just has yet to be fully explored

*ducking, running*

i’m not saying i ship it, i just feel like someone should sketch out what their dynamic and how canon would be if it was Like That okay???

(i wish i could remember which Youtube vid it was where they had Thomas teasing someone and Annie and Clarabel laughing and egging him on but it was honestly quite cute!)

Meh 😑 / Overrated : Percy. The more I think about it, the more I’m not actually opposed to it? (Now that flirt!Percy lives in my head rent-free.) But more if one plays fast and loose with canon. Their “big brother/little brother” dynamic, especially by the time we get to CGI, I find gets into NOTP territory real quick.

It Happened Once In A Dream 🌑 (or AU 🤔): I honestly find the notion of Donald and Douglas flirtatiously toying with Thomas so funny—

Especially if they’re pulling his pigtails coz they really do think he’s cute…

(And in return, well, who doesn't think Donal and Douggie are heartthrobs? No one is immune to the lads’ charms, seriously!)

If I Had to Put Them in a Polycule 💗: Okay, I’m gonna do the super basic thing where I smash some of my favorite ships together to form a triangle again—but one thing I love about Thomas/Bertie and Thomas/Green Arrow is that I think they could co-exist!!!!!

Thomas and Warren have a long-distance periodic-sweethearts understanding?

And by that point I imagine Bertie and Thomas might have the same understanding—Bertie is probably in some form of preservation or semi-retirement then (if not he’s probably been bought outright by the N.W.R. as a railway bus)—anyway I can imagine he sometimes/usually works different parts of the island as the 20th century goes on—and I think Bertie’s so hot-blooded, a true Wanderer…

So yeah.

Bonus, Bertie would totally deal with meeting Thomas’s summer boyfriend by challenging Warren to a race, and Warren would be allllll about it—

I dunno, I just see tons of hot-blooded competitive adventuresome love going down here 💙💚❤️️ Fun vibes!

NOTP 😤: I get why y’all seem to by reflex say Edward, obviously, and I’m with you.

It’s just funny coz for me my reflex answer (out of a cool dozen engines that could also be in this category!) is Henry.

(I guess just coz they do have this tension sometimes?? A little bit of misfiring crackle? Which makes me all the more quick to say “oh God NOOOOO—”)

#ttte #ttte shipping #ttte thomas #chatter #sorry to smoop and bullshingles but i think yours will have to wait for another night #thank you ALL for the asks though! 😘 #edit: i forgot emilyyy!!!!!! #updated

[rowan-guerrins]

it’s honestly so ridiculous to me that NO ONE has ANY (genuine) advice in A Woman Who Wants For Nothing which is a really fucked up quest anyway, like really what the fuck, and that some alternate ideas as to what to give Sera are apparently never even thought of. It’s literally just the pubes thing (which admittedly I think is kind of funny), or nothing.

Like in my mind (and feel free to add), there are two things the Inquisitor could gift to Sera.

First would be just— something they saw that made them think of Sera. Sera canonically collects little trinkets she likes; giving her a funny looking something or random bauble just because “oh Sera would like this” is a somewhat easy thing to give as a gift. Maybe not on level with a hat, or whatever it is Sera was going to give you, but in some ways better? Because the point of the gift isn’t wholly about the material aspect of whatever it is you give her, but just like… “Hey, i saw this and i thought of you” as a love language. And frankly, if Sera didn’t like it, she’d TELL YOU, but i think even still she’d appreciate the thought?

The other gift option is even less material— the gift of, like, time. Setting aside an evening to spend time with her, or going off to pull pranks with her, or frankly a good-natured prank on her … so on so forth. This one is a little nebulous as a concept, but the point is— not all gifts need to be material. You don’t need to give someone something to show you care.

And these would be pretty damn easy to incorporate into game! Hell, you could even still have to go around and ask all your companions what you could get her just without having people belittle Sera and your relationship with her, like what the fuck honestly! Cole or one of the companions she’s close with (eg Blackwall) or, frankly, literally ANYONE. They could offer one of those options, and you still get to have your relationship with Sera be COMPLETELY in the open. Then you could either go collect little trinkets across Thedas, or there could be a cutscene/mini-quest of some quality time (similar to her friendship cutscene).

I don’t know, these are all off the top of my head, but I just think that like… it’s really upsetting to me that for every other romance in the game, you get to give them a genuine, thoughtful gift, and/or you get a romantic cutscene with them. But with Sera? You get companions going ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, you get two separate companions actively disapprove of your relationship, and then you can have a sex scene (which isn’t inherently bad, but when so many of her romance-active scenes end in sex, and when she is written by a man, it just feels…. a little uncomfortable that that’s never balanced out with super romantic scenes. like it feels, at the best, borderline sexualization, at least imo). Especially because, you know, there ARE gifts you can give her! Maybe they’re unconventional as gifts, but I think that would REALLY work for a romance with Sera— like, I think she would really appreciate it.

Basically, I just wish that, alongside putting your relationship in the open, you could give Sera something to show that you care.

#idk this is scattered but whenever i think about this quest i just go :/ #i just! wish we could have gotten some romantic scenes! you can do romantic scenes without stripping sera of her personality! #and not all gifts are material! and not all gifts have their value in their material aspect! #sera does want and like material things! it’s just ~unconventional~ or whatever #anyway. hhhhh #dragon age #sera dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dai