#i think they would fuck up this hypothetical movie because they already fucked up her character in the show

[far-beyond-saving]

I know everyone wants a Solitaire movie (and so do I) but I honestly think they'd fuck it up beyond anyone's imagination.

#heartstopper already make me... cringe #obviously i think it's still good queer (specifically gay) representation and that people are allowed to like it #i know many people defend both the show and the comics saying that it's realistic and not cringe #but i think they are cringe #and i also think that's 200% okay and even necessary #i mean #straight people have their over the top sickeningly sweet romances #and i think heartstopper fits that category but for queer kids #it's nice to have a broad variety of queer (in this case only gay but let's not get into how media hates sapphics/lesbians) representation #i am also not the target audience for the comics or the show #i read the comics a while ago and liked it then #probably because i was like 15 #but i've grown out of it #to be fair #solitaire is also a little cringe #but it's my cringe #anyway #enough rambling about my opinions on the comic and show #i think they would fuck up this hypothetical movie because they already fucked up her character in the show #the actor is great and all but why the fuck would cast someone so old #and 'take care of him or you die' #what?? #the script is beyond evil #but man do i want more solitaire content #tori spring #solitaire alice oseman #solitaire #cynic.txt

[cupcakeslushie]

LITA MAY LITA MAY LITA MAY

Ok ok so I have like a bunch of questions feel free to ignore BUT

I) she has a tail. Is that a Kraang feature or do all the turtles in your universe have tails and hers is just extended?

II) Uh pink? Pink like Kraang? Did she choose her life colors, or???

III) Is. Is she. Is she autistic too

IV) Draxum-Hamato sooooo what does she call them? Did they argue about nicknames? Also was it Donnie’s choice to include Draxum’s name as well

V) Lita in the comics???

VI) Is there a reason her shell isn’t smooth like Donnie’s?

VII) What does she call Renet?

VIII) Ninpo question mark?

IX) Pupils! I love the way you draw her pupils. Is there a reason or is it just fun

X) Does she have a certain resistance to Kraang mind digging? Like that thing they did to interrogate Raph in the movie? To read his memories?

XI) So the cloak/scarf thing is Leo, the purple accents and stripes are Donnie, and the kneepads are Mikey. Any Raph references in her clothes?

Apologies if you’ve answered these before and I just didn’t see them! Have a good day and give Lita one too for goodness sakes girl’s had it rough already

1. It’s more of a Krang feature. I do love when the turtles are drawn with tails, but I didn’t do it from the beginning, and so for consistency sake in the EW universe I’ve held off. Maybe one day I’ll just say “fuck it” and give into the urge to give them all cute little tails. But even if I did, Lita’s would be much longer than any of the family’s (except Raph’s hypothetical tail lol).

2. Lita being albino and pink in the IDW comics pretty much made that Krang connection for me lol. I didn’t have to reach too hard with her design. She leans into it.

3. I have her personality very close to Leo’s canon personality, so she’s more on the ADHD side. She does have some sensory issues with sound, which a lot of ppl with adhd have (👋🏻). But being raised around the quiet and solemn Time Masters Sanctum it’s like really noticeable. When she visits the family, it can be very overwhelming, but rather than shutting down, she gets insanely riled up and can’t contain herself. It works though—everyone is more than happy to let her ramble on.

4. She never met either of them but Splinter of course would’ve been Jiji and Draxum would’ve been just Grandfather. Nothing too out of this world lol. And yes, Donnie chooses to embrace Draxum’s name.

5. Sorry idk what exactly this is asking. Like yes? Lita May is based off IDW Lita, from the comics 😅 sorry if I’m missing the question.

6. She is a spiny soft shell like Donnie, but yes, her spines are significantly more pronounced, thanks to, you guessed it!

7. Master Renet, or Aunty Ren in a more causal setting.

8. 🤫 we’ll see (I’m still trying to think of something cool and not too OP lol)

9. Her eyes are just for design fun, and to link her to Donnie some more!

10. That’s gonna be another big 🤫, but less because I haven’t decided and more just for the big spoilers! 😜

11. She’s kinda got two outfits atm and I think I might end up merging the two. Her simpler outfit of just her wraps and mask are very Raph coded, so I wanna figure out some sort of middle ground with the two.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt doomed future #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #baby mayday #rottmnt separated au #separated au #Sep!au infodump #sep!au doomed future #ask slushie #rise Lita

[gaypirate420]

Curiosity here: {Discussion}

If you could re-write Jasper but keep 2 things about him, what would you keep? Besides appearance and gift! How would you explore this new version of Jasper?

For me, I'd keep his army past and Alice. But I'd explore how he changes over time and comes to realize how bad being on the Confederate side & being racist is. (I think you get it I'm trying to keep this short.)

Such as what makes him change and how he copes with his new understanding, and y'know the whole process of that.

Ofc, she comes into play too, maybe she's the catalyst that gets him to thinkin' about the topic at the surface, but it eventually goes deeper as she overtime explains things to him, and he thinks further on his own. IDK BRO I'm just thinking and wanted to read what you'd do. {Have a discussion.}

I'd change him shacking up w/ the Cullens though...or maybe their relationships with each other. I'd love to explore everything basically around canon while still being divergent to an extent. (Canon Related?)

He'd be the main character, but I think you already knew that if you read or at least skimmed this. But I have a terrible fear of people misunderstanding me. (⊙﹏⊙)

But yeah, I was just curious! I know a lot of people have done all sorts of things with him in Fics regarding his past and such, but I do always enjoy reading your responses to things.

This is just a purely hypothetical discussion. {If this was ever made that would be ambitious as hell cause like mf is like... 150 years old!}

I don't even want to think about all that time, and they never sleep either so like holy hell. So many moments of introspection and guilt and etc. to write I'd have a mental collapse. {But that's me when I write anything but also editing sucks ass.}

But not to mention ofc the huge amounts of research everything would take, and I am a huge perfectionist.

-Sincerely a mutual who tried to ask a few questions then freaked out over my own questions.

I'm making this anon now because I fear this ask now.

I think we have the same idea dear mutual!

(this is so fucking long omg I went off the rails, let me know what y'all think.)

I wouldn't rewrite anything, I'll just play it differently, I'll give it a nice depth.

I've always been on the side that just rewrite or ignore Jasper's confederate past is- not ideal. Yeah it's okay for a silly little comfort fic with your favorite vampire but not when talking about his actual canon characterization.

I would keep him serving for the Confederate army. I know a lot of people don't like that about him, but, I think it's a huge part of his character but there was something lacking there.

And what was missing is guilt.

Jasper, as to how he is written, and how we see the scenes of his past are played on both the book and the movie makes him look like he wasn't ashamed of his racist past or that he was even still prideful for it.

And it's so weird for me, how could this man who spent a century long depression, a self described "monster" a "nightmare" that just floods with self loathing couldn't feel guilty for not only taking someone's life but their freedom?

How could he feel guilty over killing the newborns but not black people? It doesn't make sense and it makes it worse, it makes you think that he, in modern times, it's still a confederate and also because vampires are "mentally frozen." He's not changed that much really then.

(I think Jasper lacking guilt and remorse about these fact about him is because of SM and her own views she not so subtlety spread all over her books though.)

So yes, I am keeping him as an ex-confederate soldier. Jasper was 17 so we are just to assume he was ignorant, and that's okay, we can live with an ignorant white boy for now. I cannot stress enough about how there is no need to make mental flips and splits to justify this choice of thinking in a 17 y/o southern boy from the 1840's. But, he gets to change, he, after the first years of him killing the newborns reflects about this, he might not be completely educated but he has the spirit.

Now let's talk about Alice.

I love her, but, if we are really analysing this then her and therefore the rest of the Cullens (because they welcome her and Jasper on their family) are okay with Jasper serving for the confederacy and I don't like that.

Why did Alice make him feel hope and all this shit and get him to change and learn a new life but didn't make him reflect on that maybe, perhaps, fighting for the enslavement of an entire race wasn't a good thing to do.

She says "you'll never be that again." referring to him being a vampire killing machine, not a racist, may I remind y'all.

So, I think the change would be about Alice teaching him things, Jasper spent so much time with Maria and then he was seriously depressed, I get the idea he wasn't interested on- going outside besides to feed from humans.

I think there are two types of vampires, those who love seeing humanity grow and change and come up with all these little inventions and then the ones who just see humans as prey.

Alice being the first and Jasper the second, but not for long after he meets her.

I think Alice could update him about the modern world that was the 50's, she would educate her that yes, Jasper's gentlemanly ways are charming and make her blush and giggle but there are some comments that aren't okay, just because in "his time" it was "okay", "funny" or "right", to say these things doesn't make them less offensive, dismissive and hurtful.

Alice would ask Jasper what did he felt while serving? And why? Was he even fully aware of what he was fighting for? Did the years of him seeing countless human's fight and go to wars that got bloodier and more destructive made him stop and think about the damage of his own army career?

Make the man reflect. Make him think for days and days about these questions he asked himself but never truly took the time to answer them. I need Jasper to have a slight mental breakdown before he gets to know the more peaceful life with the Cullens and Alice.

Alice asked these questions in her endless curiosity, not in innocence, but rather to know Jasper, really know him and understand him.

I want him to feel disgusted about having to feed from humans now that he realizes how much harm he did, and that's were the Cullens come in, Alice knows about her new family of course and it's more than excited to know her mate wants this life too, not because oh he's so in love with her he'll do anything (he is) but because he wants to change.

Carlisle let's him stay because he knows this, he understands in a way and he can't help but sympathize with him and Alice wanting to change herself and help her partner.

But Jasper can't fully because his body is asking him to kill constantly. He doesn't want to keep harming people, but his body can't forget, not only his body it's scarred as a reminder, but there's this annoying bloodlust that doesn't want to go away just yet.

But he has Alice, holding his hand and make him feel like everything will be alright.

Jasper is struggling but he is changing, he is getting more and more mental peace, finally, after a century and a half. It's slow, it's painful but it's there, self forgiveness and change.

One of the things that I love, a concept, Jasper being into philosophy, history and just literature, him loving to learn.

I love that in Breaking Dawn Jasper wanted to help Bella with her thirst. And of course I love him being hurt when she's way more successful than he is after so many years.

Seeing someone who you share the same experiences is so amazing, it helps you, but seeing them overcome this challenges that you also endure it brings you down on such a horrible way, it hurts you, but it makes you think of who you were before and how much you have accomplished. How much you've changed and that's my take on Jasper Hale.

I am not normal about him.

Also, I think I would change vampires not being able to sleep or cry, I think Jasper deserves both, as a treat :). I love him.

#i could go on #but I won't because I think I got the right thing #jasper whitlock x reader #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock hale #jasper whitlock #jasper hale #the twilight saga #twilight headcanon #twilight saga #twilight renaissance #effervescent

[nighttimeebony]

Reactions to The Last Olympian. Spoilers under the cut. And warning: long-ass post ahead.

EDIT: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Yay, Rachel’s back! I like that Percy is able to have a mortal friend.

Paul is cool.

Look, I love Rachel, but why does there have to be a goddamn love triangle? Percy likes Annabeth, Annabeth likes Percy, you’ve already put the work into making me like them and we all know they��re going to be endgame, so why does there have to be so much fucking romantic drama? Can’t Percy and Rachel just be friends without the weird romantic tension? This whole plot is busy enough on its own without you trying to shove something else in at the last minute just because you’re bored, RICK.

Wow, Percy really doesn’t get to have any downtime, does he? My boy’s really on “save the world o’clock” time at all times.

Yay, Beckendorf! I love you!

OH MY GOD AND HE’S ACTUALLY DATING SILENA???!!!! Oh, that makes me so happy!! I love that my little background crackship is actually canon! And the fact that they were apparently Camp Half-Blood’s “yeah, we know” ship is hilarious and I love life right now.

Ooh, bombs.

Wait. No. No no no no no no no stop

FUCKING STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

WHY?!?!? WHY DID BECKENDORF HAVE TO DIE?!? RICK!!! WHY??!!! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

I can’t even be happy that Tyson is here, I’m already so fucking depressed and it’s your fault, Rick.

Oh, hey, Triton. Which, fun fact, since Triton is Ariel’s father in the Disney movie, this means that (in the Disney canon at least) Hercules and Ariel are canonically cousins. So, hypothetically speaking, Percy would be related to the Disney princess Ariel, which you can’t convince me he doesn’t brag and joke about all the time.

“[Poseidon] had told me that I would know when to ‘spend [the sand dollar],’ but so far I hadn’t figured out what he meant. All I knew was that it didn’t fit the vending machines in the school cafeteria.” I love that the implication behind this is that Percy actually tried. He took this mysterious magic sand dollar that the god of the sea gave him and told him to spend wisely and wait for the right time to use it, and one day while he was at school, this fucking mad lad child decided to just cram it in the vending machine just to see what would happen. Percy is amazing and if you don’t love him, you’re wrong.

“Annabeth ran in right behind him, and I’ll admit my heart did a little relay race in my chest when I saw her. It’s not that she tried to look good… Still, just seeing her made me feel fuzzy in the head.” Actually screaming.

Clarisse’s friendship with Silena makes me so fucking happy. Clarisse is softer than she wants people to know and I love that about her. She’s so gentle with the people she loves and I’m here for it.

“Chiron and Annabeth exchanged looks, like they knew something that I didn’t. I hated when they did that.” Understandable. It happens a lot.

Oh, I recognize the name Chrysaor. Such a random reference, I love it.

JUST ADMIT YOU LIKE EACH OTHER YOU FRUITCAKES

“We headed downstairs to join the others. I didn’t know it then, but it would be the last time I ever visited the attic.” You know, Percy says something along these lines in every one of the books leading up to this one, and you’d think that I would learn to stop freaking out every time we get one of these lines, but you’d be wrong. Still getting anticipatory nausea and anxiety.

"The mountain tore itself apart, collapsing inward, and an enormous form rose out of the smoke and lava like it was emerging from a manhole." Typhon?!?!?! Do we have to deal with Typhon now too?!

Well shit, I guess we have to deal with Typhon now. Yeah, okay, sure, I don’t mind or anything.

“As far as I could tell, Rachel’s only rule about music was that no two songs on her i-Pod could sound the same, and they all had to be strange.” Hey, Rachel and I have the same music library.

Wait, so Rachel’s getting future vision dreams now too? But she’s not a half-blood, right? I thought only demi-gods got prophetic dreams.

Where the hell is Nico? What has he been doing this whole time? Just chilling in hell with dead people? And what even is his plan and why is it bad?

I think Silena is my new favorite character. Eating chocolates she doesn’t even like to try and cheer herself up is so horribly sad and depressingly relatable.

Percabeth!

“I shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against the rules for two campers to be… like, alone in a cabin.” I see what you’re implying, Rick, and I’m laughing.

“And I know some of you might be thinking, Aren’t all demigods related on the godly side, and doesn’t that make dating gross? But the thing is, the godly side of your family doesn’t count, genetically speaking, since gods don’t have DNA. A demigod would never think about dating someone who had the same godly parent. Like two kids from Athena cabin? No way. But a daughter of Aphrodite and a son of Hephaestus? They’re not related. So it’s no problem.” This is exactly how I predicted half-blood dating works, and it absolutely did not need to be addressed, but I kind of love that it was. It’s probably only funny to me because I was talking to my friend about this exact topic during school, and I made a “god incest chart” on a whiteboard so I could figure out if Percabeth would be considered incest. We eventually decided no, but still. My other non-pjo fanatic friends definitely started to question my sanity after that.

OH MY GOD! Is something gonna happen?! Are they finally going to confess?! Please, God, just give me this!

FUCKING GODDAMMIT, RICK!!! YOU CAN’T KEEP BLUE-BALLING ME LIKE THIS OR I’M GONNA RIP YOUR HAIR OUT

Oh, yeah, where the hell is Grover?

Wow, Annabeth really going for the throat here.

Aww, giant hell puppy

Nico!

Aww, of course Nico is sweet with the hell puppy

“Leneus’s knees started knocking. ‘I… I won’t answer questions with this hellhound sniffing my tail!’ Nico looked like he was trying not to crack up. ‘I’ll walk the dog,’ he volunteered. He whistled, and Mrs. O’Leary bounded after him to the far end of the grove.” I love this child. This child is my spirit animal.

Aww, Nico likes Juniper. That’s kind of adorable.

“[Nico’s] cold creepy smile made me sorry I’d agreed.” Have I mentioned I love this child?

Okay, shadow travel is the coolest thing ever, and definitely one of the coolest powers you could give to a child of Hades.

Everything with Luke’s mom… Oh, that’s horrible. I can’t imagine having to come to the realization that your own parent isn’t entirely there, especially at so young.

Little girl… not a monster… and something to do with fire… Shit, I got nothing.

HESTIA! Goddammit… I should’ve known that one.

I like that Percy refers to both Paul and Sally as his parents.

I really like Paul. I love it when step-parents are portrayed in a positive light, ‘cause I’ve got a step-dad too, and he’s more of a dad to me and my brother than my biological father.

Percy telling Sally that his signal to let her know he’s alright will be blue just about broke me. Fuck.

Orpheus!

The black figure Grover saw—I know him. Hypnos, the god of dreams. He’s a twin brother to Thanatos, the god of death. I think in some versions, Hypnos is actually female, but most people seem to agree that Hypnos is a male deity.

MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, so not Hypnos. Morpheus. I guess that makes more sense. *one google search later* Okay, I was kind of right. Morpheus is the son of Hypnos, and while Hypnos is the personification of sleep, Morpheus is the god of dreams and also has the ability to put people to sleep like Hypnos. Close, but no cigar sadly.

Nico! Why would you trick Percy?? If you just told Percy that Hades wanted to talk to him, he probably would’ve agreed, you didn’t have to lie to him.

PERSEPHONE!!!!!! And Demeter!

Demeter being a massive bitch about Persephone choosing to marry Hades is so on-brand and perfect. And that line about marrying the god of lawyers or doctors—oh my God this book is amazing.

Can we have an entire book about Hades and Persephone, please? This entire scene with all three of them is golden.

Why does Hades suck? Why did you do this to me? I had faith in you, Rick.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO INDIFFERENT TO ALL OF THIS?!?!??!!

ACHILLES!!!!! Wait, isn’t Achilles supposed to be blond?

Is it a coincidence that one of Greece’s most famous gay icons now stands before Nico di Angelo?

ANNABETH IS PERCY’S LIFELINE!!!! HIS TETHER, THE THING THAT KEEPS HIM HUMAN!!!!!! ToT DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GLASS I CAN EAT

Holy fucking shit…… River Styx magic doesn’t fuck around.

Percy going on a murder rampage and nearly stabbing the god of the underworld because they threatened his dog is honestly such a mood.

*GASP* Baby Annabeth!

“The god looked at Annabeth, who was doing her big-pleading-gray-eyes thing.” The fact that Annabeth leverages puppy-dog eyes is hilarious, and the fact that Percy is so familiar with it by now implies that she’s done it on him before and that it apparently works! Oh my God, I love these children.

Also, Athena being an overprotective mother who doesn’t approve of Percy is just… Have I mentioned I love this book?

“‘This is a huge spell,’ Silena Beauregard said. ‘The bigger the spell, the easier it is to resist. If you want to sleep millions of mortals, you’ve got to cast a very thin layer of magic. Sleeping demigods is much harder.’” Yeah, that makes sense. Since the spell is bigger and spread across a greater number of people, it’s less concentrated than it would be if you wanted to just knock out two or three people.

The Hermes Cabin is just an army of Weasleys. (PJO Harry Potter au where the Weasleys are all children of Hermes and Harry is a son of Zeus when?)

“‘I’ll go with Percy,’ [Annabeth] said. ‘Then we’ll join you, or we’ll go wherever we’re needed.’ Somebody in the back of the group said, ‘No detours, you two.’ There were some giggles, but I decided to let it pass.” Everyone knows Percy and Annabeth are completely obsessed with each other.

“The girl in the lead had spiky black hair and a black leather jacket. She wore a silver circlet on her head like a princess’s tiara, which didn’t match her skull earrings or her Death to Barbie T-shirt showing a little Barbie doll with an arrow through its head.” Have I mentioned that I love Thalia? Goth-punk icon for the generations.

This is so fucking epic. I love the fast-paced battle planning stuff.

Michael Yew has a brother named Austin. I have a brother named Austin.

Percabeth. There’s that light-hearted snarky banter I’ve been craving.

Oh, yeah, since Percy’s fighting the Minotaur right now, I figured I’d make a reminder here that I forgot to write down in my first reaction post to the Lightning Thief. In the original mythology, the Minotaur was killed by Theseus, who was also, coincidentally, a son of Poseidon, so Percy slaying the Minotaur is kind of like a mirror to the original myth, even though he’s named after Perseus. But also I thought this was a good time to remind everybody that the Minotaur’s mother Pasiphae had sex with the Cretan Bull, an actual animal. Which, fun fact, is because Poseidon arranged for Aphrodite to put a spell on Pasiphae to make her fall in love with the bull. Kind of awkward that the Minotaur is technically Poseidon’s fault, and now Percy is the one that has to deal with the consequences.

“Tied around the base of each blade were lots of bead necklaces. I realized they were Camp Half-Blood beads—necklaces taken from defeated demigods.” Holy shit, that is dark. We’re really going there, huh, Rick?

Percy is a first-class badass.

Having all the monsters disintegrate when they die is a pretty clever way to avoid having to show actual blood and gore.

ANNABETH!!!!!!!!!!

“‘Percy?’ Silena Beauregard sounded like she’d been crying. ‘Plaza Hotel. You’d better come quickly and bring a healer from Apollo’s cabin. It’s… it’s Annabeth.’” NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT DO THIS TO ME!! I SWEAR TO FUCK IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ANNABETH I’M GOING TO SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE

“‘Get back!’ I slashed the air in a wide arc, driving the rest of the demigods away from Annabeth. ‘No one touches her!’” This. All of this.

Will Solace. I found the other gay one, but I can’t even be excited about that because ANNABETH IS PROBABLY GOING TO FUCKING DIE

Even when Annabeth has actual poison in her system, she cannot resist the opportunity to tease Percy for being worried about her. I’m deeply upset, but I still love them as a couple.

This entire scene is everything. Annabeth touching Percy’s weak spot—this is easily the most romantic thing I have ever read, and I read fanfiction for a hobby.

Okay, someone really needs to find this spy because they are wreaking shit and hard

I have no idea who the spy could even be. My first thought was Silena because of how prominent a character she is, but not only does that not make sense, but that would also be a fucking horrible idea. I don’t need to hurt anymore than I already do right now.

Wow. Holy shit, Nico’s life is a fucking tragedy. This child needs all the therapy after this. I’m not thrilled with this portrayal of Persephone, but it is what it is and it is fucking depressing.

What is going on with Rachel? She knows Greek now?? What is happening???

Oh, hey, Prometheus

*after learning about Luke's backstory* I can smell the redemption arc.

I feel I should mention that in the original myth, Pandora was the first woman and was created by Zeus specifically to make men's lives harder as punishment for Prometheus giving man fire, because Ancient Greece was sexist as all fuck.

HOLY SHIT!!! Percy is a first-class badass!!

Okay, so, Hyperion getting absorbed into a tree is prime nightmare fuel.

(Also, I was listening to We Will Rock You as I read this scene, which I feel is pretty apt.)

"'Yeah, baby!' a voice wailed. 'PARTY!'" Ah, I see the centaurs have joined the chat.

"The last part was because a panicked Hyperborean giant stumbled backward and sat on top of him. The lord of time disappeared under a giant blue butt." Only in Percy Jackson can you expect to read a sentence like this.

I love Dionysus being weirdly invested in Pac-Man of all things. That entire conversation between him and Percy in the bar was absolutely hysterical. Percy is such a snarky little shit and I love any interaction between him and Dionysus. It’s like watching two smart-asses trying to out-roast the other.

Sally and Paul!

Oh, no. Oh, this fucking hurts.

That fucking jar! Goddammit!

Rachel!

Annabeth, stop acting like Rachel isn’t already your friend now too. We established that last book, remember? You guys are nerd friends now.

YAS, ANNABETH! Girl held onto the outside of a crashing helicopter, and after pulling herself in, somehow managed to make sense of the controls and not only stopped the helicopter from crashing into a building, but also pulled it out of the fall to turn in a circle and hover before landing it on a New York highway with other people nearby without hitting anything or hurting anyone else. And she did all of this while the helicopter was literally seconds from crashing. Also also, technically only hours after she was stabbed in the shoulder with a knife coated in poison. *slow clap* BAMF Annabeth Chase, everyone.

“Rachel plopped down on the curb and put her head in her hands. ‘I’m sorry, Percy. I didn’t mean to… I always mess things up.’ It was kind of hard to argue with her, though I was glad she was safe.” Jesus Christ, Percy. Annabeth’s abandonment issues and poor socialization skills are not Rachel’s fault. But I guess she did just fly headfirst into a literal warzone, so I guess Annabeth’s reaction is a bit more understandable.

“I looked in the direction Annabeth had gone, but she’d disappeared into the crowd. I couldn’t believe what she’d just done—saved Rachel’s life, landed a helicopter, and walked away like it was no big deal.” Yup. You picked a good one, Percy.

"'Everybody keeps telling me to sleep,' I grumbled. 'I don't need sleep.' Chiron managed a smile. 'Have you looked at yourself recently, Percy?'" Yeah, for real, when's the last time any of these kids slept?

"You can't just abandon your family because they did something horrible." Um. Yes. Yes, you absolutely can. The abuse victim says you can. (It's me, I'm the abuse victims, and I give you full permission to tell your family to go fuck themselves if they've ever done anything horrible to you.)

I get what the message is intended to be, and what Nico's trying to say: wanting revenge is a valid feeling to have, but holding grudges and holding onto that pain and fury will not actually make you feel any better. And by refusing to help the Olympians in the fight against Kronos, not only is Hades ultimately destroying himself, but he's also inadvertently aiding in the destruction of everyone else. Zeus is really the only one that deserves Hades's revenge, but at this point Hades isn't just hurting Zeus, he's hurting everyone, and when you cross the line of hurting innocent people in your quest to hurt the one that's actually guilty, your desire and quest for revenge is no longer justified. And if you've reached the point of hurting innocent people for no other reason than to make yourself feel better, then you really are no better than the person who hurt you in the first place. But none of this has anything to do with the so-called sanctity of "family".

We really need to find this fucking spy. They're running everything.

CLARISSE!!!!! YAY CLARISSE IS BACK!!!!!!

"Through her war helmet, I could only see her eyes—but I could tell something was wrong. Her blue eyes shone with fear. Clarisse never looked like that. And she didn't have blue eyes." Wait, what? What's going on????

"I looked down at the dying face of Silena Beauregard." WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!????!!! WHY?!!??!!!??? WHY DID SILENA HAVE TO DIE?!??!! HAS SHE NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY?!??!!!

"Silena opened her hand. In her palm was a silver bracelet with a scythe charm, the mark of Kronos." WHAT

This entire chapter is literally nothing but pain.

"Standing at the foot of Zeus's throne, looking up at the stars, was Rachel Elizabeth Dare. She was holding a Greek ceramic vase." Oh no.

"[Rachel] focused on me as if she were coming out of a dream. 'I found it. It's Pandora's jar, isn't it?'" OH NO

"Her eyes were brighter than usual, and I had a bad flashback of moldy sandwiches and burned cookies." OH FUCK

"I picked up Pandora's jar. The spirit of Hope fluttered inside, trying to warm the cold container. 'Hestia,' I said, 'I give this to you as an offering.' The goddess tilted her head. 'I am the least of the gods. Why would you trust me with this?' 'You're the last Olympian,' I said." Title drop! It's all coming together!

This is the hypest thing I have read in years.

Chiron! Please don't die, I am literally begging you.

NICO'S BACK!

Everyone here is a fucking badass

Paul just stabbed a monster with a sword, and Sally fucking shot another one! In stories like these with divine powers and weapons that begin and end with stabbing, you are not expecting someone to just pull out a fucking gun and shoot the thing. I love this book.

"'Thalia!' Grover cried. When the dust cleared and the mountain stopped rocking, we found her still alive, but her legs were pinned under the statue." Holy fucking shit!

"Annabeth wipes her tears away. 'There was a time I thought… well, I thought…' She looked at me, like she was drinking in the fact that I was still here. And I realized I was doing the same thing. The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive." Love. Just love. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and I love these kids so much and I'm so glad they found each other.

"I turned and faced the Olympians. 'We need a shroud,' I announced, my voice cracking. 'A shroud for the son of Hermes.'" I mean…… What can I even say?

Percy's wish is everything.

OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO RACHEL?!??! Someone really needs to do something about this!

I love that Percy refers to Blackjack as his pegasus.

RAINBOW! <3

Oh! She has the gift of prophecy! Now that makes sense!

Wait. OH, FUCK!!

Okay, I'm glad Rachel is okay, but these fucking prophecies, man! We literally just got done with the Great Prophecy, but now there's another one we have to deal with?! Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna read it and I'll probably love it, but still!

The moment when Percy and Annabeth finally get together is everything I ever hoped for, and it completely justifies every goddamn fake-out leading up to this point. I'm just so happy right now

That ending, man..... This book series is amazing. I'm so glad I was able to fall in love with it without knowing any significant spoilers. I cannot wait to read The Heroes of Olympus. Maybe I'll do a reaction series for that too.

#pjo #percy jackson the last olympian #the last olympian #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #rachel elizabeth dare #clarisse la rue #silena beauregard #luke castellan #grover underwood #pjo kronos #nico di angelo #pjo hades #thalia grace

[godofsmallthings]

my speak now tv vault track/overall impressions are under the cut if anyone wants to read! wrote these right after listening for the first time :) they got long (a girl has a lot of feelings about speak now! who would've thought)

• electric touch!!!!!!! this is such a cute song omfg. i love the way she writes about love as fire so much (and i think it's interesting considering another common motif she uses is love as a religion...hm. anyway.) if i had to guess when this was written it would've been closer to the beginning of the process bc fearless taylor's sensibilities come through a lot. i can see why they cut it bc it's so similar to sparks fly in concept. i LOVE THE FOB FEATURE.

• when emma falls in love: "little miss sunshine always thinks it's gonna rain" & other incredible one liners!!!!!! OH MY GOD THE BRIDGE. I KNEW I WAS GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE. i understand why they cut this one bc it's not explicitly personal until the bridge and it is speak now after all. even though i think "when emma falls in love i'm learning" (or whatever it is) is a bit of a clumsy lyric, the sentiment is soooooooo dhsksjshdhjdbd. like of course she was looking to her friends and being envious of their relationships going well based on what she was experiencing. it's a beautiful companion piece to btr and little speak now honestly, and i think the themes of comparing yourself to other women on this album are super interesting and relatable.

• i can see you: OMFG DHSGSJDGSJHDKSHSKVDJD UP AGAINST A WALL WITH ME?????? I LOVE HER THIS IS SO FUNNY AND SO FUCKING GOOD WTF. obviously we all know why they cut this. the professional business vibe is so funny like girl why do u want a business man. unfortunately my brain went straight to emily poe bc the gaylor pathways run deep. where was this song 4 months ago. ANYWAY. i'm so glad she let this one bejeweled bc horny teenager music is kind of unmatched. i love her for this.

• castles crumbling: okay nothing new precursor!!! i have a feeling this will be a grower for me. the arrangement/production reminds me of an overly cheesy song that would play during the credits/climactic moment montage during a movie? idk. idk how i feel about it but it certainly is in line with the sound of the rest of the album (haunted, long live). i can't quite tell if she's writing about hypotheticals or if this is stuff she already experienced. the "power went to my head" is so interesting because like. bbygirl u were a kid of course it was going to do that. idk. i thought the second verse was stronger. i think the castles crumbling imagery as an explicit ending to the fairytale themes coming from fearless is a little too on the nose. least fave so far but could def grow on me.

• foolish one: this is SO CUTE. i love this one so much. i'm convinced that the last chorus at the end (her lower register sounds soooooo good there but we all knew that) was something she added retroactively. it feels like present her talking to younger her which is so sweet (but also 😵‍💫). an excellent more realistic thematic companion to little speak now i think. she's so good at these sweet upbeat countryish songs and i will happily take them every time. (edit: "you are not the exception" is a "the only exception" reference, no?)

• timeless: IT'S NOT A TAYLOR ALBUM WITHOUT AN OUR LOVE IS FATE SONG!!!!!! the historical fiction nerd in me is obsessed with this one. THE ROMEO AND JULIET/LOVE STORY CALLBACK IN THE SECOND VERSE??????? OKAY LITERARY GENIUS. the instrumentation is so lush and perfect and the subtle horns are soooooooo nice. it might be recency bias but i think this is my favorite one.

overall I thought it was really interesting to see which songs she cut and how two of them were seemingly because they were too "explicit" in some ways. let baby taylor be horny on main!!!!!!!!! it's really interesting to compare castles crumbling to long live and see how those fears about fame turning sour for her were already very present. it gives more context to the long live bridge imo. overall none of these have like recontextualized the album for me in the way the red vault did (or feel like they were touching on missing pieces of the story ig) but they definitely added some more color to certain themes. i am trying to not think about how i can see you could easily be about jm. overall i'm happy with the speak now album we got but i'm obvs also very glad to have these songs <3

INNOCENT IS COMPLETELY PERFECT. SOOOOO GOOD.

i always forget how much i love country taylor <3

#i think the actual rerecordings on this one are the best across the board #oh ig i forgot to talk about btr. i can see both sides and honestly don't have strong feelings either way but she clearly does and i think #that's fine #the thing about rerecords is that they're supposed to be a replacement but human beings making art about human emotions can't create #a carbon copy. and as it's a lyric that goes with a sentiment she no longer agrees with and is actively harmful that we can all agree is ba #alongside the precedents for doing so both in the current pop music landscape but also in her discography since her first album #i can understand why she would change it even if i might not make the same decision. and the original remains as well (it's not like she's #re-writing history in the same way) #anyway i love it and i love her <3 #and i think i'm going to continue to do my first listens kind of isolated for a bit after this. it was so nice to not be on the #Having Strong Opinions website and getting to just enjoy in my own time. would recommend. #OH and to my btr point i think the new lyric is better which is probably why i am not as phased as i thought i'd be #moth girlies unite #vi is typing...

[wolves-etc]

thoughts on The Last Of Us episode one, largely in the order I had them:

[thoughts on: 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6 | 1.7 | 1.8 | 1.9]

(I have some spoilers from tumblr, a vague awareness of the older gays & younger gays situations, and a friend's recommendation that I'd really like this show. I didn't realise how evocative this would be in a mid-pandemic world. the show quickly set me right.)

— all kudos and respect to mr "I have an opportunity to infodump to a crowd about disturbing fungal diseases and I am going to make the most of it." loses points for warning people about hypothetical future dangers while actively smoking at them.

— the views we get of the crowd and the host during the second half of his speech are interesting - they're so still, all rapt attention, while he's talking about humans made puppets. it's unsettling.

— and the visuals during the theme music? gross. the guy who recommended this to me is squicked out by fungus. I may have used the words "wetly unfurling" while confronting him about this.

— I'm struck by the apparent ritual of joel setting his alarm, sleeping through it or ignoring it, and having to be alerted by his daughter anyway. he's a mess. (<3)

— there's something very real and unsanitised about their home environment. sarah's presumably not the worst cook in the house, but still they're eating eggshell. there's takeaway in the fridge that tommy sniffs before having any (though I wish he didn't decide against it then put it back.)

— and joel's shirt is on inside-out. bless him.

— sarah and joel passive-aggressively siccing the neighbours on each other is bitchy and great

— the first glimpse of the unrest of the pandemic being someone visibly panicking, closing the shop, herding sarah out, telling her to go straight home? I'm trying not to do too much real-life comparing. but that's ouch.

— we have a dog!! a border collie!! mercy I love you I am giving you up for dead given the genre we're in but I very much hope to be proven wrong <3

— "three nails plus one cross equals four-given." please, please tell me people don't speak like that. lie if you must

— the mental shift from "that blurry old lady in the background needs medical attention" to "oh. oh this is a horror show, the characters just don't know that yet, oh no" was a fun one

— "and you were never gonna [get the watch fixed] for yourself" OH BOY

— it's functional depression vibes in joel and it's intense. he won't get the watch fixed for himself, and he probably wouldn't celebrate his birthday for himself either - I'd buy that the pancakes could have been more for sarah than him, but then she insists on cake, and he doesn't suggest anything he'd enjoy better. still, he seems willing to make an effort because she wants to, and that's nice.

— that moment, sitting down to watch a movie together, sarah falling asleep against him? joel's a mess, but he has a good relationship with his daughter, and that's refreshing to see. there's real love there.

— mercy is a very good dog and sarah COULD DO WITH MORE ANXIETY SLASH SURVIVAL INSTINCT, FRANKLY,

— and we get the first glimpse of joel being brutal and unhesitating when it's called for. the sense that he's already made a shift in thinking that sarah's slower to - she's scared, crying, not yet really believing that it was necessary.

— sarah in the back of the car being smart enough to put together - given what she knows - that any one of them could be infected. it's awful.

— "[they've] got a kid, joel." "so have we. keep driving." fuck

— (how must that feel for sarah? if she's the thing to be protected, it must be her fault.)

— okay the infected's too-quick movements and bird-like head tilts? very "inhuman software on human hardware." it's cool.

— this scene here, though. there's a lot here. they're saved, in the nick of time, by a soldier. the soldier receives orders that he has to double-check. joel calls him sir, says please don't, has to know what's coming. it's unfair and it's horrible and there's nothing he can do.

— and I had a lot of thoughts about that. about how the US military - quite aside from the huge wrongs it does to other countries - promises people to chance to do some good, and to be a part of a family, and betrays them on both counts. leaves its soldiers with trauma and no way to manage it. leaves them, perhaps, with chronic depression, in a job I don't even want to speculate about because neither the military nor construction work are kind to the body. it's betrayal on top of betrayal as standard. and it's cruel, very cruel, that the military betrays joel again here. (edit for reasons and for at least one "article" possibly lying to me)

— and it's a fucking needless way for sarah to die. fuck.

— okay. okay.

— we get this little reminder that the birds, the trees, the sunlight, they all keep going. no matter what goes on with humans. and I, for one, find that comforting.

— and that comfort is VERY NEEDED because holy shit it's twenty years later and joel barely even hesitates to throw a bound child's body onto the fire. (practical and brutal, when it's needed. I don't even want to wonder whether he's done it before.)

— he's still wearing his broken watch and he is very much not okay.

— tess is all steel. I'm a little scared of her as a person and I love her as a character. what the fuck are they both up to that they can handle criminal dealings like this.

— "I promised him you wouldn't hurt him, but I would very much like for you to hurt him." CLEAR AND TO THE POINT.

— no but that's a lot of fun though. clear communication, what seems like no real lies when she's negotiating with her captor, just a forthright attitude that's so easy to believe and a comfortable willingness to mislead him.

— "you don't have a fucking ear on your fucking head" would be a fun way to accuse someone of not listening

— "y'all talk it through, but please remember that I'm bleeding out." I LIKE MARLENE

— and here we see joel's fight response to trauma, which will, I hope, serve him well. that flashback was evil though.

— what the FUCK is the expression on ellie's face. is that awe. is that delight. miss, you're very fucked up, do you know that

things I expected: ellie being a murder child; joel being a traumatised badass with a soft spot for her. did NOT expect ellie to be THAT much of a murder child, or joel's soft spot to be that well-armoured. this is gonna be interesting to see.

and I didn't expect tess, who's interesting, and scary in her own right, and rugged in a way women aren't generally allowed to be in the zombie genre. this was a really pleasant surprise.

#the last of us hbo #the last of us spoilers #tlou spoilers #angst tag #orig #at the time of polishing I have actually seen and loved the next episode too #remains to be seen whether I'm gonna tidy up my thoughts for each one but I'll try #just don't look too deeply into the tangent about the military and we'll all be fine <3

[mintys-musings]

hey previous nagianzu anon

1. can i be the nagianzu anon

2. i have so much nagianzu stuff that i have made up in my brain only bcs i think they’d date to be petty towards ibara. nagi would DEF blow his entire allowance on the girl, clothes, food, movies, parks, toys..…..anyways, he wld probably be the type to stare at her lovingly and worship her like some sort of goddess, he would also (nsfw) DEFINITELY tie her up in white or red ribbon plus he would probably kiss her a bunch but only infront of ibara to piss him off (i like the idea of petty nagisa okay) and he has probably gone up to ibara to ask questions abt sex to he probably already knows abt the twos entire sex life. teehee

yes of course ya can ~~ ... i should actually start a runnin list of yalls signoffs- anyway—

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥 IM INVESTED NOW. I GET IT...

i love the idea that they are petty together sm. especially when they're both the type of person that many people think are like very put together but are actually really silly.

like. yes anzu is a hard workin gal. yes she has hang glided off of a school roof to avoid the student council. and yes nagisa is an "omnipotent god." and yeah he needs an allowance because he'll spend money on random weird shit otherwise. pure sillies

theyd be so cute taking shopping trips and stuff. it annoys the fuck outta ibara when he realizes were all of nagisa's allowance is going, but he'll probably try and like. gaslight himself into making it part of a scheme of some kind. surely.

also ibara has no right knowing so many details about their sex life he can never be free 😭 hes so tired. i bet nagisa tries playing it coy too like "okay.... hypothetically.... if there was this girl i liked... and she's into bondage...." and ibaras like "please for the love of god just say anzu. i know you and anzu fuck please just say her name."

#Minty Answers #freeibara2023 #he cannot catch a break from nagisa #nagianzu anon #thank you for putting this idea in my brain #the god and goddess thing is infecting my brain soooo hard

[transienturl]

seeing (great!) crit role cosplay on my dash and I'm like. I'm not sure who I would hypothetically want to cosplay as if I could look like any character - my favorite work of fiction that I can think of is audio only, my favorite tabletop roleplay character group just does their sessions in cosplay and I wouldn't want to do cosplay as that person in elf makeup (okay, maybe if I coincidentally really looked like her...)

okay I guess the practical correct answer is to get into danmei because I already look like a danmei character with the hair. but that wasn't the premise

I would like to dress up as Rey but I can't say I loved the movies. hm

eh fuck it maybe I'd finish The Owl House and cosplay as Willow or Amity or something. eh I'm not a superfan of that series either though. hm.

[sxmnus]

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · @allbettr cont. from here.

       ❝ alright, i'm listening, don't worry - ❞ aster was already settled nice and cozy under a large blanket, the remains of their movie night unkempt and sprawled out over the coffee table. was clear that he wasn't going to fall asleep anytime soon with how stupid thoughts continued to roam through his head and thankful that grey was more than happy to indulge him. ❝ well, but you're like.. not marrying your mom, you're marrying your step-dad. so is it implied that when you marry one, you marry the other?? ❞ even he started to get a little dizzy thinking about it, casually sipping on a box of apple juice like he was five years old. boisterous laughter filled the room as she started speaking in circles, the both of them happily confused in a completely nonsensical hypothetical that would probably lead to nowhere. seeing her face light up, however, only meant one thing...

       ❝ noooo, why did you have to fucking say that? now that just broke everything! ❞ he griped, and only because his brain couldn't handle multiple things at once; would rather just focus on the initial question. ❝ this is like inception but with marriage. i mean, i guess?? but like, why would you put yourself through the heartbreak of cheating.. WITH YOURSELF? make someone jealous? i guess people were best left pleasing themselves better than letting someone else do it,❞ he shrugged, popping a handful of gummy bears into his mouth. ❝ wild shit, bro. ❞

#( aster verse | tbd. ) #allbettr #i hope this was okay ?? #they can just be stupid ???

[1994sunflower]

I'm thinking of the "People I would cheat on my boyfriend with" prank on Michael. When it first says no one then quickly changes to the next slide of one of the TV crushes that he hates not realizing they remind her of him.

i love those tiktoks where they prank their bfs. so this made me smile, hope you like this small blurb!

You were giggling maniacally when you all but skipped into his room. That should have been his first sign that you were up to no good. But all he did was eye you suspiciously with a smile so faint you wouldn’t even realize he was smiling if you hadn’t known him so well. 

But when you tried to tug him down to sit down, that’s when his suspicions grew of just what you were up to in your pretty little head. But he gave in easily when you whined, “Just sit down.”

He sat down unceremoniously, the furrow in his expression either being confusion or exasperation at having to follow directions for once. Always the rebel. Whatever it was, he knew it was mischief by the coy smile on your face but he didn’t do anything to stop it, instead, he sported an indulgently amused expression.

“Okay.” You placed the laptop you were holding on the nightstand in front of him. “I made a presentation.”

Of course, you’d make a presentation in your free time, that was what his studious girlfriend would do for fun. But as he rolled his eyes and let out an amused chuckle, you started up the slideshow.

People I Would Cheat on my Boyfriend With.

You watched as Michael’s posture straighten as he read the screen and his eyes snapped to you filled with annoyance and warning. “Y/N…”

His tone was equally warning but you knew he wasn’t really mad. Mostly because he knew you’d never actually cheat on him but also because your laugh at his reaction already made it quite clear you were joking and somehow you found amusement in it. It didn’t mean he liked it or found it funny. Instead he was fuming in his seat glaring up at you. Not a smile in sight and definitely not patiently indulgent to your wishes like he usually was. He’d rather not even look at it anymore actually.

But really, despite all that, he hated even the thought of you with other men. Even the hypothetical reference made his blood run hot, his knuckles hurt as if they were begging to punch whoever would show up on the list. You were his. And he never intended to let you go for a list like this to matter. Maybe he hadn’t drilled it enough into you just how much you would never have, want, or need another man for a list like this to even exist.

He made a move to stand up. But you grabbed at his arms and forced him back down, though honestly he allowed himself to be sat back down.

Even he had to admit he enjoyed the cooing you did to him, the way your fingers ran through his hair as you giggled at the jealousy in his face. It was cute and it was exactly the reaction you had been wanting. “Wait. I haven’t even gone to the next slide yet.”

Then you hit the arrow button to the next slide. 

No one. I love my boyfriend so much. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I would never want to hurt him or be with anyone else.

You glanced between him and the screen with an expectant smile. But even as he gave you a deadpanned stare back, before he could even say anything or sag his shoulders in relief to let go of his anger, you clicked the arrow button again.

And there was the collage you had spent an hour making. Characters like Jess Mariano, Bucky Barnes, Danny Zuko, Kylo Ren, John Bender filled your screen. All characters you have swooned over, crushes you have fostered for years. All of which he knew about and has grumbled and rolled his eyes at each time you mentioned them or watched their movies. Subtle comments like he looks like a loser, he’s wearing a fucking leather jacket y/n it’s a stupid cliché, he’s the biggest asshole in the movie y/n, he can’t even fight, the ‘bad boy’ really? (cue his eye roll). He hated them.

It all made his jealousy so cutely obvious. And a little hypocritical when a lot of his dissections were parts of himself that you have found in each of those characters. His temper, his daunting size, his (albeit hot) meanness, his aesthetic. Not that he knew. He had no idea the crushes in your heart for these fictional characters were just small embodiments of your love for him. 

But your amusement turned into your stomach fluttering when he stood up. Your neck craned up as he did to keep looking at him. You giggled nervously but it seemed like even your big, doe-eyes couldn’t save you this time. With one hand, he squeezed your cheeks together and kept your face towards him.

“Yeah?” He asked down at you and you couldn’t help but let your hands roam his biceps and chest at the look in his darkening eyes. You loved when he got rough with you like this. “I think your little presentation should have ended on the slide before this one.”

You nodded at him and he continued. “That’s right. Because none of those annoying, cliché fuckers would make you feel as good as I do.” Or be as good for you as he was. He was better in every way — both of you knew it. 

But it was cute how he was acting like they weren’t fictional. Like he wasn’t aware that no one would ever have a chance with you, not when you had him.

“Not that I’d ever give anyone the fucking chance.” He finally leaned down and kissed you hard and you sighed blissfully against his mouth, up on your tiptoes. “You’re mine.” 

Your eyes were shiny when you looked up at him and he was reminded why he got so annoyed when you gave a similar look to the screen whenever those actors showed up on them. That look — you, your blushes, squeals, breath hitches, swooning, attention, thoughts that so often were aroused in you when you watched those shows and movies together — were just for him. It was why he preferred to turn off the tv completely — and sulk jealously next to you — than see you giving this them. Even fictional, those characters you were so fond of were unworthy. And he didn’t want to share.

“I was just kidding, Mikey.” You smiled and leaned up to peck his lips again. 

But he wasn’t exactly satisfied yet. He didn’t like the thought of you cheating, even if it was a joke. “Tell me I’m better, delete the slide and I might decide not to punish you for your little stunt.”

You pouted, cheeks blowing up before wrapping your arms around him. “Of course I’d never cheat on you and I’d choose you over anyone, even them. You’re so much better, you’re perfect for me.”

He hummed in approval. But then he had you sitting on his lap and watched over your shoulder as you deleted the slide, rolling your eyes the entire time. But now, the one and only slide beside the title was the one declaring the answer as ‘no one’, just like he wanted to see. And despite it, you had a feeling that the punishment he had suggested was still going to happen. But you also had a feeling you wouldn’t mind it.

“I don’t even know what the fuck you see in these people, Y/N.” He said it like men like them, broody, mean, ‘bad’ would never attract you. As if he couldn’t see them as your type. Surely not the sweet, softspoken, innocent girl on his lap. Seemingly not thinking too much about himself, the lap of the man you were on. It was like he was blind to the irony — though frankly, he wouldn’t allow himself to see any man as your type, as attracting your attention other than himself. No matter how similar, not that he’d realize any similarities.

“You do realize I like them so much because of you right?”

You felt Michael pause in his satisfied smiling, pulling back slightly in surprise.

“What do you mean?” He asked and you nearly threw your hands up in exasperation. He was so oblivious. 

#5sos #5sos imagines #5sos fluff #5sos smut #michael clifford #michael clifford imagines #michael clifford x reader #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford smut #bad boy michael #bad boy fluff #bad boy smut #college au #ask #questions

[heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon]

So I guess Pennywise ain’t considered ablest even though the horror icon she’s based on, Goddamn fucking bit both of a child’s arms off and made him struggle and crawl and bleed the fuck out before devouring him and then the leper shit happened with Eddie, huh?

You know what? This post has the same energy as disfigured people unironically starting their own “I Am Not A Witch!” campaign over The Witches remake even though that movie was terrible and a slap in the face to Anjelica Huston and should never have been produced in the first place. Disregarding the fact that the source material already has it’s issues while GDT has been implementing disability in his narratives throughout his work since the start of his career but apparently people only started paying attention after he won an Oscar?

Like, do we think that this person would feel significantly dehumanized if they found out that the spawn of The Creature from The Black Lagoon also happens to be Australian and loves sports? Or if they knew about this, would they suggest Monster High as an alternative to consuming adult media?

Do we think that every single disabled person who ever threw a fit over The Shape of Water would feel significantly dehumanized by this?

I’d say 50/50.... Since I once saw a slam piece for The Shape of Water written by an adult disabled person whom unironically and in all seriousness compared Princess Ariel ( a protagonist from a G Rated Disney Film) to Elisa Esposito (a protagonist from an R-rated Adult Flim) just to argue what a twat Elisa supposedly was throughout her movie and of course how she should’ve ended up with Strickland and how Ariel was supposedly the better “Representation” out of the two women, because Ariel ended up with a human....... I think I vaguely remember how this adult disabled woman who was possibly in her 30′s or over, also openly wrote about about how she was certain Princess Ariel would be able to “Kick Elisa’s Ass” in the event of a hypothetical fight between the two fictional characters....  Because that’s a very mature and nuanced way to criticize film.  While the irony of how The Shape of Water at it’s core essentially is just an underwater retelling of Thumbelina (if we’re going to be bringing Jodie Benson into this) was basically lost on this women throughout her entire article.

Wake could be Elisa and The Amphibian Man’s own son, overall having ... a body... like that...  for as much as we know .... ^_^;

I have my gripes about the way Wake’s story was handled in that episode (since we’re dealing with Monsters it could’ve been something so entirely different even though it was more of the same; infantilization bad, blah blah... boring, safe, story only written to teach ables and that’s the main problem. Same “Special Episode” every decade. Even at Monster High where the main protagonist that started it all is the daughter of one of the most disabled coded monsters of all time and her limbs can and will friggin detach themselves from her body on a whim which is also the main focus of her character intro:

But that’s besides my point here....

Like okay, we already have a fish man in a wheelchair at Monster High: A franchise with a fandom that has already accepted Greta as a Trans Icon TM.

But God. Fucking. Forbid. God Forbid, if some little girl who also happened to have Ectrodactyly or some other limb disability were to see herself in Greta and want to play with her? That poor delusional thing would just be dehumanizing herself, now wouldn’t she?

And what if that girl also happened to be trans? Even worse!

Yeah, I need to know where all of my crippled monster lovers are at because it’s the cold takes like the above that are actually so tiring for me to have to read and listen to. Over. And Over. And Over Again.

The person who made the bad Shape of Water review is a freaking paralympian for a living. So clearly a biased jocks perspective and not a horny goth’s.

The OP above phrased what they’re saying as if they don’t enjoy horror at all. And I know that they’re are some people who interpret Monster High as an “alternative” to “Actual Horror”...

(Like dude? The original Gremlins designs already had three fingers and this is already way toned down as per usual, with Monster High Dolls? You really want a girl with a limb disability to have this potential representation be taken away? In favor of just giving Greta fingers and hands that present as more “human” or “normal”? Go buy the 2016 reboot and fuck off!)

I didn’t want the Pennywise doll in the first place because of that whole painful scene in the beginning having to watch the little boy suffer and then the whole leper scene....  I did not see the second movie, nor do I really have any desire to.

If I did buy her it would be for my mother and if I did play with her, I would have a little custom clown wheelchair built for her, keep her in it always, and then have more of her personality and accent be based around Tim Curry. 

If this offends any of you, I can assure you, I do not give a fuck.

Because reading this honestly made me want to go on ebay and pay a reseller just so Greta can finally have a home with someone who actually appreciates her. (And Gizmo too. And I don’t see any of you throwing a fit over his cute lil’ hands because who thinks like that?! No one!)

I can think of people saying it’s a racist film, because at the end of the day, like yeah, and I can definitely understand saying The Witches in general is ablest among other things, including the shitty shitty remake, even though I think that people could’ve picked a better name for their protest than a Christine O’Donnell quote...

But, I’d never thought I’d see a white person claiming that gremlin hands were actually ablest, no less on a fashion doll that’s been drastically toned down from it’s source material.

This is the same level of asinine bullshit as someone claiming that Operetta’s existence “felt ablest” to them because The Original Phantom of The Opera was disfigured... So discarding the fact that Operetta was the offspring of a literal ghost in this incarnation, I guess OP was offended by the fact that Monster High let a disfigured outcast of a man find love and fuck and then let his equally disfigured daughter attended their school.

But going on both these peoples logic, are Jackson and Holt not already considered ableist and dehumanizing because Systems exist?

Are Peri and Pearl not already considered ableist and dehumanizing because conjoined twins exist?

What they already did to Ghoulia in the reboot is a literal can of worms so we won’t go there right now.

I just thought of another thing going by this logic though: Do we feel as though Garret Sander ever felt significantly dehumanized by the Werecat or the Grady Twins because he is a twin? Of course not!

I really gotta hand it to the dipshit in the above screenshot though because they made me see this Greta doll in an entirely new light now: Not only is she a Trans Icon for Monster High, she’s also another Disabled and Disfigured Icon in Monster High.

Another thing that I noticed? Watch this everyone:

Finnegan Ryder Wake’s debut episode title ....

Gizmo’s favorite song from the Gremlin’s 2 Movie, canonically ...

I mean, I know that Finn already has a girlfriend in Gigi I guess? And I was going to suggest this as a Halloween prompt to make the wet blankets who think that Greta’s existance is an ableist hate crime even more uncomfortable and angry by drawing Finn Seducing Greta, getting to her heart through Gizmo and singing his exact favorite song, only of course replacing the words “willing” with “wheeling” .... And then just have all three of them having a private little dance party together which ends with Greta covering Finn in kisses ......But if any one did want to use my idea for an art prompt I can assure you that I wouldn’t be stopping you.

Okay, so uh .... Update.... Remember how I said that the person who made the above post made me so angry I could just pay a reseller and get it over with? Remember how I implied in my last post regarding someone else being a complete loser about Greta, how collecting was all new for someone like me and money was no object? Well, in the spirit of speaking about something not stopping us ....

Here are the pretty babies, safe at home with someone who actually loves them, taken off the hands of someone all business and no cutesy bullshit or faked Mattel purchese price markups whatsoever in item description, only actually purchased by me once completely sealed shipment box was shown to be physically in dude’s hands, pre-checked by me personally via youtube before actually placing order just to ensure said box was real and that other people were already receiving their shipments from Mattel Creatioins that quickly (it was and they were) and so my actual buy was shipped to me within 48 hours of my order with constant UPS tracking updates from ebay... Considering how I see people in these tags every other day who like to be calling these Skullector Dolls “shitty customs” and I paid little more for this Greta than I do when I find a OOAK on Etsy that I really do admire, I claim that this was a really fair exchange. Not “good” of course, but fair.

I honestly just wish the money that I paid for one of her “Customs” in this case was actually going to Rebecca Shipman herself considering how many ungrateful shits some of you have been to this woman for giving you the Skullectors series.

But why pay extra in the first place, you ask?

Well, besides fact that Greta Gremlin is worth it the first place, I’m going to paint a picture for you:

Imagine being someone who uses a wheelchair and a hand splint, and having your caregiver claim that they’re going to help you, but then all they do is hijack your own card, tilt your own computer over to their side, and then proceed to read your own credit card info out to you like as slowly as humanly possible, number by number as you’re attempting to type that in with one hand while your hands are shaking as it is already and your computer was tilted to one side for some reason and no one offering to actually help type for you. Now imagine if you’ve already flubbed up the whole “I Am Not A Robot” thing two times prior to this and realizing the irony of how the one test getting you through to payment, but one that you knew in your gut you were going to lose her on, is the one test asking you to “identity stairs”.

Now imagine how the sense of powerful irony and rage you feel, carrying around the knowledge of how you lost Greta Gremlin because you metaphorically had to climb up a pair of stairs in order to be allowed to access her .... Is tripled coming across some absolute ding bat whining about how disgusting and ableist Greta Gremlin supposedly is for being born having three fingers, exclaiming how she’s “Monster Highs 1st Ableist Doll11!!1!!1!1!!!11 n no 1 iz goin 2 caaaaaaaaaare... :’(″

When a character..... like Pennywise.... canonically exists in this universe.

This post seriously had me livid and the abled-bodied autistic 19 year old who wrote it should be ashamed of themselves, but I’m grateful that this display of absolute dingbattery from an adult teenager with a Jojo icon gave me the extra push that I needed to spite some of you ungrateful bitches before Christmas.

I really just said “fuck the stairs” and took an elevator. I already got the BeetleJuice one, retail price on Mattel Creations, first try (cause I had someone helping me type then). 

I was not going to just give up Greta after that especially not after seeing some of you guys’ appalling behavior regarding this doll.... And I know I’m definitely not as spoiled as some of you grown adult Cheapy MCcheapskates who whine about having to pay $60 while tearing apart everything about these dolls anyway when you know that it’s just Rebecca and her team who are essentially building you these gifts from scratch to be able to even afford the reboot. One of the reasons I didn’t get into Monster High as a teen is because since I refused to settle for a shitty android, I couldn’t actually afford my own iphone until I turned 25, meaning my first ever phone that I own now is the iphone SE 2020 that just came out last year, just for clarification if some of you think not having a phone in that era wouldn’t effect anything or make someone feel left out. Why buy dolls if accessing extra perks and features required a cellphone?  Why buy dolls that reminded you of how you were too poor to afford a cellphone?

I also adore the clearly campier direction these Skullector’s are going in, for the record. And I can’t understand why the rest of you mediocre foamy squirrels keep demanding Jennifer’s Body and Johnny Depp and more pale faced humanoid characters while you’re treating Rebecca Shipman like shit.

I’m as happy as ever with the results of my decision to take this extreme risk and personally I think Finn would be proud of me for choosing to take the “elevator” out of spite to get to Greta after reading That Post too.

Because posts *like that* are the reason why no one takes actual discussions about ableist microaggressions seriously.

Bite me.

#Monster High #Greta Gremlin #Skullector #Guillermo Del Toro #The Shape of Water #media comprehension #Media Literacy #untranscribed #undescribed #gif warning #moving gifs #moving gif #moving gif warning #ask to tag #ask to tag better #I ordered Greta on November 4 I think and received her on the 7th. #Once more I regret absolutely nothing. #I made this post back in October and I'm publishing it now because it's green month and it's another doll drop day so yeah... #There's that ...

[obey-only-me]

The Brothers and MC as Best Friends By: Akuzondelivery

Lucifer:

- Hasn't really had someone he’s felt as a confidant before so it takes time for him to open up.

- When you both learn you have music in common things slowly start to progress. Turns out you had more in common than expected.

- Enjoys when you challenge his opinion on something and appreciates that you’re able to have an objective conversation.

- When he’s had a blah day he’ll ask you to pick whatever music to listen to, and is always impressed by your selection.

- Likes that you get along with his brothers, hates that you make the same poor decisions they do.

Mammon:

- You are always excited to hear whatever his newest plan is, and tell him frankly when its a bad idea. But he doesn't listen.

- After several disasters you started throwing hypothetical scenarios his way.

- “You’re sneaking into the castle and there are two treasures; one is big and gold but if you move it you wont escape in time. The other is smaller and gold and leads to a easy escape route. Which do you chose?” “...how much bigger is the first one to the second one?” “Wrong answer, Diavolo finds you in the hallway and feeds you to Henry 1.0.” “Wha!? Awe c’mon!”

- When he’s broke he’ll ask you for money but instead of lending it to him you make him write you a letter to convince you. “It better be persuasive.”

- Mammon will only want to watch horror movies with you because you’re the only one that doesn’t make fun of him when he gets scared (because you're scare too).

Levi:

- It's like a montage with you both skipping in a field with The Beach Boys playing in the background every time you got to hangout together. Levi has a friend. Sorry Henry 2.0.

- When you both finally outlined the different animes and games you were into, it seemed like you were into complete opposites. But Levi thought that was so cool.

- You were into things he liked in a different way so it expanded his already unhealthy obsession. Plus likes watching you talk about something you really care about.

- Makes fun of you when you lose to him at games and taunts you. Of course you give him as much lip as you can.

- When you two argue while playing against each other it sounds like an anime battle; “I’ll never forgive you for this!” “I don't want your forgiveness! I want you to die!” “I’ll see you in hell!”

Satan:

- Finds it hard to talk about his interests, reading is normally a solo hobby..

- When he sees you eyeing a certain collection in the library he ends up talking about favorite authors with you.

- Now you sit in his room reading out passages that catch your eye. He listens and swoons at the words making him read whatever you’re reading.

- Every Sunday you meet in the planetarium for tea and poetry.

- You will have tons of inside jokes about certain authors and will randomly quote certain passages. Everyone just thinks you’re both fucking nerds.

Asmo:

- Was completely ready to woo you or have you naturally wooed by his presence, but loved that you actually just want to spend time with him platonically.

- Lots of skin care discussion. Not just think product or this product, but what the point of a alpha hydroxy in products. And reasons to love collagen.

- You’ll argue sometimes over cosmetics you both shared, but in the end you both end up surprising the other with something new to try.

-Will NEVER let you have a bad end to a bad day. Stressed out? Relaxation time, now.

- Is so body positive if there is something you don't like about yourself he will help you embrace it and own it. Especially if it means he can help you design a new outfit.

Beel:

- You are his favorite person ever. You feed him and you teach him.

- How has no one taught this boy how to cook his favorites? You end up showing him how to make a hamburger at home and he was instantly begging to be your sous chef.

- You both have matching aprons and wear them anytime your discussing food or cooking.

- Like Satan making faces as you sat in the library with cookbooks wearing aprons.

- You both hold a two person cooking contest. You Vs Beel. It ended in a tie.

Belphie:

- Belphie had a hard time opening up after everything you had been through. This boy was busting at the seams to ask for your friendship but didn't feel he deserved it.

- You thought otherwise.

- You had an appreciation for the “Live Slow. Die Whenever.” lifestyle. And he was into that.

- He liked hearing your theories on random subjects or ideas. You were like a walking book of random facts. If he got bored he would just ask you for some random trivia.

- Eventually you would read bedtime stories to him, he would never fall asleep but then give very serious reviews of them. “He kissed a dead woman.” “Well it brought her back to life.” “...she was dead.”

#obey me #lucifer #mammon #leviathan #satan #asmodeus #beelzebub #belphegor

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Asdfghjjkklllllllhhkkl the way I don't remember the last time I didn't do that while watching a movie 😭😂😭😂😭😂

DUDE MALEC RUINED US FOR GOOD I'M AFRAID THERE'S NO COMING BACK

AND WE'RE HAPPY ABOUT IT AHHHHHHH

also, how do you project malec into them, like, you remember the ask you sent Dani about what she thinks malec would do? What do YOU think?

Do you agree with her? 🥺🥺

(I haven't seen FD partly because I don't really watch anime, I can never really understand what's happening there so I don't watch them 💀💀 but I've read your views on it and now I don't know if I want to beg you to write an FD malec au (with a happy ending of course 🤨😂) or run away from it as fast as possible 😭😭😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️)

Kskskskks I didn’t think anyone would pay attention to my FD rants I’m 🙈🙈🙈

And smsmsjsjka yes everytime I watch a movie or a show or something I’m just like “okay this one’s Alec and this one’s Magnus”. Every single damn time. I have no regrets 😎

Okay soooo I actually first watched like the first ten episodes of Future Diary several years ago (I think in like 2018?) so when I wrote smniyb, their dynamic and characterisation was heavily influenced by that of the two main characters. So obviously Alec is Yuno Gasai (cause Dark Alec supremacy)

And Magnus is Yukiteru (Yuki) Amano

(He looks more like Alec. I know. I KNOW.)((It doesn’t really show in this gif, but yes, his eyes are blue))

Back then I stopped at the tenth episode cause I couldn’t really understand what was going on 💀 but now when I watched it it was much more clearer and i could understand everything better and didn’t get bored lol. And then I got to the end and these bitches KILLED MEEEE.

Okay, Dark Alec and FD!Malec aside, yeeeeaaaaahhhhh I mostly agree with her. By the end they’d both be arguing about who’s gonna die and at the end one will pull some shit and kill themselves (mostly Magnus) and the other is alive and becomes God (mostly Alec). In FD, Yuki suggests that they both commit suicide and let the world end, but I can’t see either Magnus or Alec suggesting that. They’d both want the other to live on. Yuno however is… complicated but basically by the end she wants Yuki to live on and become God and let her die and that’s pretty much what happens. :’)

So yeah. I basically agree with Dani. Except I don’t think Alec will think kill himself (not that he’ll have the choice anyway, since he’ll probably already have become God before he can even think of it), but that he will end up like Yuki does at the end of Future Diary - letting the world die anyway and just… being depressed in limbo:

(HE LOOKS EVEN MORE LIKE ALEC IN THIS ENDING SCENE ITS FUCKING BREAKING MY HEART SKSKSKSK)

These are all the screenshots of the scene tumblr will let me post but hopefully you get the idea :’)

Unlesssss he goes full Yuno Gasai 👀 which is exactly what would happen in a hypothetical future diary malec au. Which… I’m low-key considering writing but I also want to run away from it 😂😂😂 also FD does have a happy ending! Kinda. The last scene of the last episode is what I just posted above lol, but there’s a post credits scene that hints at a happy ending, AND there’s an extra episode called Future Diary: Redial which shows the happy ending and how it happens.

Ksksksk this post got longer than I expected and that’s without infodumping about some major plot twists and just… Yuno Gasai in general. (I love that girl. I seriously fucking love her.) 😭😭😭 Kay imma go now also THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ALL MY RAMBLINGS ILY 🥺🥺🥺🥺

#don’t mind me ramblings #I’m just #physically restraining myself all like #DONT TALK ABOUT THE THREE WORLDS OR THE YUNO TWIST #DONT FUCKING DO IT #AHHHHHH #anyways #what the fuck do I tag this #malec #obviously #alec lightwood #magnus bane #dark alec #future diary #blues and then purple pink asks

[tefilovesreading]

It’s a Match! Part. 3

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Fem!Reader.

Word count: +2,9k

Warnings: A few swearing words but nothing else!

A/N: It’s a Match is finally back!! Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist! 

Edited by: @theamazingtomholland

MASTERLIST // PART 1 // PART 2

The soft melody Charlie was playing on his guitar made her look at the propped-up iPad while she cut some veggies and her heart skipped a beat with the intense look he was giving her. If that’s how he made her feel through a screen she knew she was bound to collapse under his gaze once they met in person.

“What are you playing?” Y/N asked with one last look, before setting her attention on the cutting board. If she ended up with a missing finger because of him and his tempting smile, she was going to block him. 

“Traverser l’hiver” he answered, and  Y/N raised her eyebrows in surprise, she definitely wasn’t expecting him to answer her in French, “I’ve been listening to that song on repeat the last couple of days, and now I’m trying to learn it.”

“What does it mean?” she questioned, putting down the knife for a bit, so she could focus on his explanation.

“Making it through winter,” Charlie replied, plucking the guitar strings softly, “the song talks about how his relationships never last and that he’s glad that they made it through the winter because he can’t get enough of her.”

“Send me the song later,” she mentioned with a smile. That sounded like a good song, and she wanted to know what his music style was like.

Calling each other on FaceTime while they did their own stuff quickly became their thing since they matched on the app two weeks ago, just enjoying the company and asking questions once in a while. Normally it was just her doing stuff like cleaning her desk or cooking while Charlie sat there playing the guitar or reading a script.

“It’s in French,” he warned her, and even if she wasn’t looking at the screen, she already knew he was giving her That smile, the one that made her stomach flutter with excitement. 

“Music is a universal language, Charlie,” she chuckled.

“I thought that was love,” the boy pointed out playfully, “I’m gonna send it as soon as we hang up. Promise.”

“Good, because I’m not sure if I’d be able to find it.”

Y/N saw him throw his head back as he laughed, the movement loosening his man bun. She inhaled deeply, before looking away from the screen. She wanted to know if his hair was as soft as it looked.

“What are you cooking anyway?” Charlie questioned when his laughter died down, and he stopped playing with the guitar strings.

“I’m meal prepping actually,” Y/N admitted with a grin.

“No way,” he gasped, and she felt her cheeks blushing. 

“This is the first time I’m trying so don’t make fun of me,” she begged as a joke.

“Never, I’m actually impressed with your commitment because that takes a lot of time,” he mentioned with a soft smile. 

She smiled at him and bit her lip. Fuck it, she was gonna ask him to meet up. There was no way she could wait one more week, her assignments could wait.

“Y/N,” Charlie called her, and she tilted her head just a little to let him know she was listening, “let me take you on a date. You get to choose the place.”

She tried to hide her smile without much success, just knowing that Charlie was thinking about the same thing she was thinking made her feel so happy and excited about going out with him. 

Two weeks ago, she’d have never thought about developing such a strong connection with him or that she’d get so happy whenever a new text from Charlie appeared on her phone. The thought of their connection made her relax, she could feel it on her heart that this wasn’t gonna end in another ghosting experience for her.

“Can I tell you something before I answer?” Y/N asked with a grin.

“If you tell me you’re married, I think I can share,” he joked but nodded giving her the green light to ask him whatever she had on her mind.

“I was about to ask you the same thing before you asked me out,” she confessed and the look in Charlie’s face made her whole body tingle. He was too good with eye contact for his own good.

“In that case, I’m glad I asked first,” Charlie mentioned winking at her, and she knew her cheeks were blushing with that simple gesture.

When Jo came back home, she found Y/N smiling at her phone while French music played through the speakers. There was no doubt about who was responsible for putting that smile on her friend’s face. 

“What got you so happy?” Jo asked even if she knew the answer to her question.

“I’m going on a date with Charlie, in two days,” she responded holding back the excited squeal that was threatening to escape from her mouth.

“Dude, finally!” Jo scoffed but smiled at her excitement. Y/N deserved to have fun and go on dates. Her friend deserved to feel something for a guy again.

“Oh shut up!” Y/N laughed and put her head on her friend’s shoulder, “I’m so scared of how I feel about all this and I haven’t met him yet.”

“It’ll be okay,” Jo promised, resting her head on top of Y/N’s, “and if it doesn’t, we can always watch sappy movies and have ice cream for dinner.”

Two days later Jo followed the anxious girl pace in their living room, babbling about not knowing what to wear for her date or hypotheticals scenarios where Charlie would kidnap her and sell her organs on the black market.

“Y/N,” Jo said and the girl ignored her, “Y/N!” this time her friend stopped and looked at her with regret, “if you don’t wanna go then tell him.”

“But I do wanna go,” she grumbled as she sat beside Jo on the couch, “I’m just nervous about the date.”

“Where are you going?” Jo questioned.

“I told him we could go to Salt and Straw, ‘cause he has never been there,” Y/N responded biting her nails, “and then I think he said something about going to Vista Hermosa, but we’re not sure.”

“That sounds like a good plan, just make sure you go somewhere where you can talk and get to know each other.”

“Yeah, I know,” she mumbled, “I should probably start getting ready.”

She pressed her lips together in front of the mirror before throwing the lip gloss on her bag and making sure she had everything.

“Keys, Kleenex, mints, wallet and…,” she whispered and her friend’s hand appeared in front of her, “I don’t need condoms, Jo. It’s our first date, I’m not gonna have sex with him.”

“Honey, you never know,” Jo claimed with a knowing look on her face, “take them, just in case.”

“You’re a nightmare,” the girl huffed but took them and put them in her bag.

“I’m just making sure you have protection in case you need it,” her friend laughed and Y/N rolled her eyes trying to hide her smile.

Her phone chimed with a new text and her heart started racing in her chest. 

Charlie: i’m outside.

“Shit, shit, shit,” she whispered and looked at Jo with panic in her eyes, “he’s here. What do I do?” 

“Tell him to come upstairs, I’ll open the door, so he knows you have someone waiting for you to come back,” Jo ushered her to send her a text back.

Y/N: almost ready!! can you come upstairs?? i’ll buzz you in Charlie: sure!! no problem Charlie: what apartment??

Just a few minutes later she heard a knock on her door and Jo walked out of her room to go and open the door. She took off one earring as she heard her friend’s voice letting Charlie inside their apartment. As soon as Y/N heard his voice, she felt the butterflies go mad in her stomach.  

She grabbed her bag and made her way to the living room, putting on her earring again to pretend she wasn’t ready.

“Hey,” she let out and held back her breath when their eyes met. 

“Hi,” Charlie said standing up from his seat. 

If Jo felt the electricity that filled the room while they were looking at each other, she didn’t mention it. But Y/N felt her whole body tingle with excitement at the sight of the boy right in front of her. 

She lifted her right hand nervously, not sure if she should go for a handshake or not, but her hand got trapped between her body and Charlie’s as he went for a hug. It wasn’t long, just really soft and kinda comforting. 

“Sorry,” they both said at the same time when he noticed Y/N went for a handshake instead.

“It’s okay,” Y/N said giving him a reassuring smile and tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear. 

“Ready to go?” Charlie asked pointing with his thumb to the front door. With a soft nod, she followed him to the front door, giving her best friend one last glance, Jo winked her eye at her and gave her the thumbs up.

“I parked the car around the corner,” Charlie mentioned once they were out of the apartment building.

“You found a parking spot nearby?” Y/N questioned in surprise and when he nodded eagerly she let out a laugh, “lucky guy.”

Hearing him laugh at her comment right next to her made the butterflies in her stomach go crazy. He took the car keys out of his pocket and unlocked the orange Subaru close to them. 

“Thank you,” Y/N smiled at him when Charlie opened the door for her. 

“No problem.”

“Get it together, Y/N,” she muttered before the boy opened his door. The nervousness coursing through her body made it feel like her tongue was tied, and she didn’t know how to put into words how glad she was to be there with him by her side. 

“So which Salt and Straw are we going to?” Charlie asked, starting the car and getting out of the parking spot. 

“We should go to the one near Little Tokyo, that one is closer to Vista Hermosa,” she replied and furrowed her eyebrows, trying to recall if it was actually close or not.

“Can you,” Charlie started, trying to get his phone out of his pocket, “type in the address? I’ve been living here for years, but I still need the GPS.” He handed her his phone after he unlocked it.

“When did you move here?” Y/N asked, taking the opportunity to start a small conversation

 and getting to know him a little better.

“I moved to Toronto right after high school and then moved to L.A. a few months after,” he bit his lip, probably trying to do the math on his mind, “About 3 years now?”

“I’m gonna let the GPS pass just because you are brave enough to drive here,” she joked and Charlie shot her a grin that screamed trouble. And she loved it.

The fifteen minutes ride from her apartment to the ice cream shop went by in a blink of an eye, between questions, jokes, and the occasional humming coming from Charlie whenever the radio played a song he liked or knew.

“What flavor should we get?” Charlie questioned, placing his hand on her shoulder to keep her by his side in the busy shop. She glanced at the hand over her shoulder and her heart started racing.

“What if we get the flight?” Y/N hinted, pointing at the option on the board, “that way we can pick four flavors.”

“Good idea, then I want Brown Ale and Bacon, and the Double-fold Vanilla,” Charlie said with an excited smile on his face to the guy behind the counter, “and you?”

“Strawberry Tres Leches and Chocolate Gooey Brownie,” Y/N responded after a few seconds of thinking which flavor could match better with Charlie’s choices.

“You realize we still got chocolate and vanilla ice cream, right?” Charlie chuckled and Y/N rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide the smile forming on her lips, “next time we only pick the monthly flavors, deal?” 

Y/N looked up at him and nodded in response, knowing very well that meant he was considering going on a second date with her while the first one just started.

“They’re not gonna last till we get to the park, Charlie,” she warned as they made their way back to the car.

“That’s why I bought cookies,” he smiled as he tried to balance his car keys and the box with ice cream in one hand, “C’mon hurry up,” he ushered her, grabbing her hand with his free hand and guiding her through the surrounding people. 

It wasn’t like he laced their finger together or something like that, he just grabbed her hand to make sure he wouldn’t lose her in the crowd, but the touch made her wish he would never let go of her. Of course, it wasn’t the first time he touched her, but the small amount of time she got to spend with him in person was enough to feel drawn to him in such a magnetic way, she never imagined possible.

“Oh that one is fucking delicious,” Charlie gasped after Y/N’s hand moved away with the now empty little spoon, his eyes still focused on the road ahead of them, “which one it was?”

“That was Strawberry Tres Leches,” she replied with a hint of pride laced on her voice, “your pick isn’t bad, you know?”

Charlie raked a hand through his hair and turned around just a few seconds to show her a bright smile.

“I have good taste,” he observed in a tone that let her know he wasn’t just talking about ice cream flavors.

Y/N opened her mouth, but the words never came out, shaking her head in pure amusement she dipped the tiny spoon in another flavor and offered it to him. What was she supposed to say?

“Why did we think we’d get there with ice cream?”  Y/N questioned when Charlie opened the car door for her. 

“No idea, but we have a plan b,” he added, giving her the bag with cookies and opening the back door to search for something, “there we go.” 

“I want that one,” Y/N said, taking the orange and mango-flavored Capri Sun out of his hand with the biggest smile on her face. 

“I’m gonna give it to you just this time because that’s my favorite,” Charlie scoffed, but the smile that seemed to be permanent on his face gave him away.

He made her feel so relaxed but his energy was so contagious, she felt like she could do anything if she wanted to. 

“Would you go on a hike with me?” he asked her before taking a sip of his Capri Sun. The juice pouch looked ridiculous tiny in his hands.

“You’d have to take it easy on me,” she commented and closed her eyes to feel the sun on her face with delight.

“So that’s a yes,” Charlie stated and the excitement in his voice made her open her eyes, so she could look at the boy sitting next to her on the grass.

“Sure,” she giggled and turned her focus to the impressive view. The overlook of Downtown Los Angeles always took her breath away, reminding her how little she really was.

When they left the park, just minutes before it closed, both of them wanting the date to last a bit longer. 

“Do you mind if we stop for a coffee?” Y/N asked, her voice just loud enough for him to hear her above the music playing, her hands fidgeting on her lap.

“I was gonna ask you the same,” he replied, “we can always drive all the way to the beach if you’re up to that.”

“Are you serious?” Charlie’s beaming smile was the only answer she needed, “let’s go then.”

Being stuck in traffic with Charlie wasn’t bad at all, that meant more time together and a jamming session for them. Y/N knew he could sing, she heard him humming on their previous video calls but getting to listen to him really sing without a care in the world was amazing. 

“Stop bragging, I get it, you can sing,” she teased him.

“Don’t be shy, I know you can sing too,” Charlie said as he parked the car. And there it was, the weakness that meant seeing him backing up the car with just one hand. 

“Right,” she said clearing her throat and unbuckling her seatbelt after he fully stopped the car, suddenly the car felt too hot for her. 

“Don’t you think you’re gonna get cold without a jacket, Y/N?” Charlie questioned, grabbing two hoodies from the back seat.

“I was counting on borrowing yours,” she admitted with a shrug. 

“Let’s go before we miss the sunset,” the corners of his mouth turned up glad she was finally flirting back. Not that she didn’t do it before, but it was nice to hear she was as interested as him.

Their arms were brushing, bodies as close as possible while they faced the ocean and the sky changing colors as the sunset on the horizon. The breeze sent shivers down her spine and she pulled the sleeves to hide her hands to keep them warm. Charlie looked at her and put his arm over her shoulder, pulling her closer.

“I guess my hoodie won’t be enough uh.”

tagged: @cordeliascrown​ @crybabyddl​ @phantompogues @the-romanian-is-bae @doaspeggy-says @thatsmyfavoritewhiteboy​ @samanthawilliamspring @searchingunderthestars @luke-patt @moneybagmgk @angisbr @happinessinthedarkesttimes @knitsessed @teti-menchon0604 @randomstuff7 @warmness0ul @merceret @headheartbellarke @caitsymichelle13 

#charlie gillespie x reader #charlie gillespie imagine #charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie fanfic #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie one shot #charlie gillespie #jatp cast imagine

[vocalyunho]

Strawberry Kisses

pairing — Yunho x reader (fem, referred to as ‘she’)

genre — fluff, smut

word count — 3k

warnings + tags — third person narrative mode, this fic portraits a hypothetical reader, all characteristics & traits are used incidentally, Yunho’s hella whipped and soft for reader + Yunho with butterfly hair clips, finger sucking, inexperienced reader, handjob, fingering, clit play.

synopsis — Yunho will never forget the first time he heard her needy voice, the one that proved everything she wanted without having to say a word.

Yunho thought she was a work of art, one he couldn’t take his eyes off of. Regardless of how many times he had told her, she could never control the pink blush that creeped up her cheeks every single time. He wanted her to accept it, he wanted her to know he meant it, but she never did. She belittled herself and Yunho hated it.

Every little flaw and every (in)significant trait of hers was precious to Yunho. They were the reasons why he fell for her in the first place. Later, though, he found more of them and now he can even make a list, preferably on papyrus, -for dramatic reasons- like those you see on cartoons. He already knew she’d make fun of him for even thinking that, but he knew exactly what he’d put on that list, one by one...

Her lips were always plump and cherry colored, though if he kissed her, she tasted like strawberry and Yunho could never get enough of it. The way she’d nibble on her bottom lip after they kissed, like they shouldn’t have, made his head spin uncontrollably. Even the wrinkle of her nose whenever she laughed had his heartbeat increasing in a matter of seconds. But what he admired most was the hope and the million little galaxies that danced in her eyes every time she looked at him. Yunho could easily get lost in them and he had noticed that he had, a couple of times before. The galaxies only disappeared the times she was upset. Then, the disappointment or anger were all he saw in her in the form of a soft gaze. Her cheeks would turn red and her eyebrows would either furrow or raise, each time forming little wrinkles on her forehead that Yunho wanted to caress. Her lips would pout and, maybe, tremble if she couldn’t control her emotions, but these were, always, only temporary.

When she talked, her hands would fly everywhere, gesturing, showing, bringing the conversation into life as if what she talked about was the most majestic thing someone would hear. Yunho cherished her for that because she made him love the little things. She talked about them like they were the most important thing ever and the way her eyes widened and her body tensed, proved it.

When she walked, sometimes it seemed like she did it hesitantly, not really wanting to go anywhere, as if someone had forced her to go. Other times, she jumped around while walking, little legs moving fast, backpack bouncing up and down on her back and phone struggling to stay in the little pocket of her pants. However, Yunho always managed to keep up with her and her pace.

As for her fashion, it wasn’t stable. Though, she did have a fair amount of mom jeans she wore on a daily basis if the occasions let her. Yunho didn’t know they were called ‘mom jeans’. In, fact, he didn’t know jeans had names. When she first told him about ‘mom jeans’, ‘boyfriend jeans’, ‘bootcut jeans’, he felt like his entire life was a lie. So many different types and he had no idea! After he got a hold of her taste in fashion, he started noticing other small details about it on her. She liked tucking her shirt inside her pants, she loved colored cardigans and oversized sweaters and he couldn’t help but notice the way she rolled up the bottom of her jeans. Her ankles and socks were on full display most of the time, and even if she had told him this was just a fashion statement, he knew this was her way of letting the world know of her bisexuality.

Necklaces were her favorite accessories. She had hundreds of them and Yunho didn’t complain because he found them hot. He always had a thing for necks and especially hers, so seeing her decorating it with pretty necklaces did something to him and his newly discovered kink. The rings were her second favourite accessory, Yunho had found out. Just like her neck, her fingers were always decorated too and, sometimes, she’d even lend some of her dearest rings to Yunho. Not the one her grandma had gifted her, though. This one was always on her index finger and no matter what, it never left its spot.

Her voice was soft and when she talked it was like honey was dripping from her lips right into Yunho’s ears. He’d figured out it was the timbre that made it so special, not the tone neither the words she used. When she talked about her day, Yunho would zone out sometimes not because of boredom but because he gave more attention to the vibrations of her voice and its rhythm, unintentionally. He loved listening how it changed depending on how she felt, one moment she was happy and it echoed like a melody, the next minute she was disappointed and it came out in whines through pouted lips, but he never found it annoying. However, she had a terrible singing voice and even if she knew it, she liked singing her heart out in karaoke’s or during showers, making Yunho make fun of her afterwards, which always led to giggles from them both and occasional make-out sessions on the couch of her small living room.

You can tell, he loved the variety of emotions she showed only through her voice, but his favorite one was her desperate voice, the one that proved need and the one only he had ever heard. He’ll never forget the first time he heard it. It was a night they had decided to stay in and watch movies instead of going out in the coldness of winter. They were cuddling, after having watched Harry Potter and the philosopher’s stone. The ending titles were lowly playing in the background as they talked about the books and how she loved them but Yunho hated, because he found them boring. She was a pouting mess from the disappointment that her boyfriend didn’t like the books she’s been reading since she was young but Yunho couldn’t stop staring at her lips, not giving a damn about the books and the movies.

“how can you prefer the prepared world of the movies, instead of the one you can create by yourself while reading the books?”

Her eyes glistened and the pouting revealed a dimple on her chin, Yunho had never seen before.

“the prepared world entertains me more”

He shrugged with heavy eyes, and moved his hand up to take her chin between his fingers. His thumb brushed the dimple, pressing on the small dent before resting on it. She didn’t respond to his previous answer, instead she remained silent and after a while Yunho travelled his thumb up to her lips which stayed closed. Her eyes were on his, totally leaving their previous conversation in the past, and as he pressed his thumb on her glossed lip she let it fall open slowly.

Yunho didn’t think much of it and after playfully pulling her bottom lip with his thumb, he pushed the digit inside her mouth. She whimpered and her eyes fluttered but before Yunho could pull it out, afraid that he shouldn’t have done something like this, she wrapped her lips around it. Her tongue brushed hesitantly the underside of it, her nostrils expanding to exhale through her nose in an attempt not to let his finger leave her mouth and Yunho only stayed there, watching her closely. His lips opened agape loosely, the feeling was new both to Yunho and her but they loved it.

He felt himself starting to lose control of his body. His bulge had already started creating a tent on his grey sweatpants and he could do nothing to stop it. She moved her head backwards to take his thumb out of her mouth only to lick the tip and press it in again. Yunho groaned at the sight, momentarily picturing his cock replacing the finger between her lips and as she kept bobbing her head, ever so slowly, soft moans vibrated his thumb.

She was sitting on his lap with her back against the couch and Yunho’s back against the sofa arm, their bodies creating a cross and, at a sudden moment, he felt her pressing her legs together. Everything was so new. His free hand rested on her exposed thigh, but no one’s eyes left each other’s. She was in her underwear, with only a yellow t-shirt -that was his- covering most of her body. It wasn’t weird, she’s usually dressed like this when they stay in. His fingers trailed the flabby skin on the inner side of her thigh until he stopped it right under her panties and when he squeezed it, she flinched with a louder moan getting trapped inside her closed mouth.  

“fuck”

She left his thumb with a pop and the pouty lips were back, tempting him to sin.

“I…don’t know what that was, I’m sorry”, he had told her but he knew exactly what that was, both of them knew.

“Yunho, I need you”

Her voice was small, similar to the one she used when she whispered into his ear during class, but not similar to the context. Her eyes became puppy-like and as he was about to think this was the cutest state he’s ever seen her in, her hand moved to rest on top of the small tent on his crotch. Yunho’s breath hitched, her palm was on top of him, slowly closing her fist and taking him in her hand as she did. He needed her so bad, too.

She noticed the sudden difference in his body language “is this okay?” she asked hesitantly, ready to stop her action, if needed.

“y-yes please keep doing t-that”

She wasn’t very experienced, neither was he, but it was like her hand was moving magically on him. She mentally decided that his sweats were too much of an obstacle, so her hand went slowly under it and under his underwear too before grabbing him with her entire palm. A worried lip got trapped between her teeth because she had no idea of what to do next, but the friction she offered, felt like heaven to Yunho.

In a moment, he giggled and she looked at him worriedly, a pink blush already creeping up her cheeks. Yunho pecked her lips and gave a caress on her thigh to reassure that he loved all of it but he never told her what he giggled for. He never told her that he found it too cute that her hand was too small to wrap around his length completely. She seemed to forget fast about it though as he groaned close to her lips and, at that, she gave him a squeeze that made him jolt. His pre cum had already spread through her movements, giving her the chance to go faster and she did. Only a tad bit, though, because she wanted him to feel it all. Her thumb stopped on his slit after a few strokes and Yunho moaned loudly, feeling his body getting weaker. His head fell back as she massaged it and the rough texture of her digit against the little opening had curses slipping out his mouth in whispers. The moment she pressed particularly hard on the tip, he brought his head back up so fast that his hair fell on his face.

Now it was her turn to giggle, her confidence boosting, and before he could push the loose strands back, her free hand grabbed one of the butterfly clips on her hair and placed it on Yunho’s. With a small clicking sound, it stayed there, the bright blue color of its wings contrasting the pink of his hair. It felt surreal. One of her hands did something so innocent while the other sinned.

Yunho felt his heart skipping a beat. It was going too fast, anyways, but seeing her being thoughtful even in this case, sent the butterfly from his hair right into his stomach. He wanted nothing more than to pin her down and make her see stars right that instant, but instead she was the one who was leading him to that.

Yunho grunted loudly. She changed her movements into quicker and shorter ones, pumping only the middle part of him and making the lewd sounds echo louder. Her short nails got barely dragged over the sensitive skin of his cock and Yunho hissed, letting his face take an unreadable expression.

“do you-do you like that?”

“baby girl y-yes, keep doing that”

Shock waves were sending electricity throughout his body, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down with force and the slight sweat that glistened on the side of his neck proved he was close.

A weird feeling travelled all the way from where her hand was pumping him to his ears, turning them the same hue of red, his tip had. He felt like his entire body was burning, a burn that had his mind spinning and his legs trembling. He knew exactly what that was and how close to release she had brought him, but he didn’t want it to end like that.

He tried his best not to give into it and with a move slower than her strokes, he rested his hand on top of hers and her gaze met his “I’m sorry baby b-but...” he inhaled sharply “...I’d much rather come inside you than on your hhand”. Her eyes widened and her little shenanigans stopped but Yunho got the chance to calm his breath and move the hand that was on her thigh, upwards, closer to where she needed him the most.

“Yunho-”, she gasped. Her legs closed, trapping Yunho’s hand in between them and her own hand that was on his member found his wrist. He pressed a finger against her panties, making her tighten her hold and bite her lip. Yunho had noticed from moments ago the little circle stain of wetness that had formed on her underwear. He knew he was the reason behind it but he also wanted to be the reason behind her relief. Just some inches above the stain, he found the magic bud and pressed on it, receiving a low moan from her. Her head fell against the couch and her hand, even though on his wrist that was between her legs, didn’t stop him. Yunho circled the bundle of nerves, feeling it swollen against his thumb as her moans became more frequent, and progressively more loud “does that feel good?”

She didn’t dare to open her eyes or bring her head up “y-yes”

He chuckled but his concentration was on how her expressions changed in a matter of seconds. Just before, she was giggling, leading him to his climax, yet now she had given into him and his touch and Yunho couldn’t help but think that, maybe, this is how she’ll look when he’s inside her. He was still hard, but tried his best not to touch himself. His middle finger pushed the fabric of her panties to the side slowly, and before giving her a warning he pushed the digit in.

“ohmygod Yunho-”, she cried out and her legs fell open. Yunho brought her head up by the nape until their faces were inches away from each other’s, their brows were furrowed, their noses were already touching and Yunho could feel her heavy breath against his lips. Only when he kissed her, did he realize how dry her lips were. It was the first time they felt like this, like all the moisture had left them, though the strawberry taste was still planted on them.

“I’m gonna c-cum”, her eyelashes fluttered close and her voice was barely a whisper.

“will you do it for me?”

“y-yes”, he twitched.

Her hips started moving against his fingers, the friction becoming more intense and the wetness increasing. Yunho was sure that if he detached his hand from her heat, he’d see a string of her soft silk connecting them, but he didn’t stop. He needed to see her falling off the edge for him, because of him. She convulsed and he felt it, but Yunho added his index finger in her warm hole too. Moans filled his open mouth and high pitched cries he couldn’t get enough of, as he pumped them slowly. The whole place was spinning for her, Yunho being the center of her attention, and the only colours she could tell apart were the ones of his hair and the butterfly clip’s. Her upper body was trembling too, now, and Yunho wrapped his free hand around her waist to keep her steady, but she cried out louder “pplease don’t stop-”

“come for me honeybun”

They hadn’t realized how their foreheads never left each other’s, nor how the entire couch was shaking. The pumping of his fingers quickened and so did the circles on her clit. Her eyebrows were furrowing and unfurrowing on their own and the squelchy sound of her wetness getting fucked into her, echoed in the almost silent living room.

Electricity travelled throughout her, when her high reached her and her body stopped functioning almost completely except for the sudden flickering of her muscles. Her jaw went completely slack and her notes were as high pitched as before, only now the waves of her voice were trembling too. The hold on Yunho’s wrist tightened sensibly and as she came, he pulled his fingers out of her seeing the thick, white liquid glisten on them.

Her moans were weak but full of need and her chest was rising and falling fast, until her body stopped jerking and she moved her hand from Yunho’s wrist to his palm to intertwine their fingers. Her release got spread between their hands but she didn’t mind it and bit on her lip in an attempt to stop her sounds, before resting her forehead against his again “Yunho-”

“take me, right here...pplease”

#ateez smut #ateez fluff #yunho smut #yunho fluff #jeong yunho smut #ateez yunho smut #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpop fics #bias tag: ♔

[100hearteyes]

Part 2 of Clarke And Lexa Make a Porno, because why the fuck not.

Part 1.

"No. Absolutely not."

Anya's wolfish grin is no good omen. Lexa feels a sense of dread wash over her and tries in vain to assuage her nerves by holding her friend's gaze. Anya wouldn't look this sure if she didn't have some card up her sleeve.

Lexa throws a furtive glance around, checks that her co-workers are still focused on the German porn telenovela. It's only when she's sure that the action on-screen will keep them rooted for a while that she turns back to Anya, trying but failing to meet her eyes.

She overcompensates with another glance around the room and a low hiss. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but am I not too," she licks her lips, gathering the courage, "'vanilla' to do it?"

Anya shrugs like it's a no-brainer; crosses her arms and props her booted feet on Lexa's desk. "That's exactly the point. You're a lesbian Disney princess. Pretty sure if you started singing the whole fucking fauna of Capitola would follow you around."

Lexa levels Anya with a glare and tries to push her feet off the desk, to no avail.

(Seriously, what's it worth being editor if she can't even have her subjects' respect? She wishes this job was less about the headaches and more about the self-indulgent moments of microscopic tyranny.)

The feet might not budge, but Anya will. Lexa is sure of it. She draws herself taller and tucks on her most authoritative scowl. "I won't do it."

Anya plucks an imaginary cigarette from her mouth and throws it away without a care in the world. She reaches behind her and drags forth a heavy wooden box, filled to the brim with—

"My vinyls."

Lexa is in a daze.

She thought she'd lost all her vinyls to time and moving. She mourned each one of them for at least a year, cried many a night away clutching her record player to dear life, lamenting their shared loss.

They had a real connection.

But it turns out her vinyls weren't lost after all, and her tears were for naught. They were safe all along, albeit in different hands, and she'd known nothing of it, like a mother who lets her children wander about without aim nor authority.

How can she ever have kids if she can't even take care of her prized vinyls?

Lexa feels a prick of self-righteous indignation at the betrayal and puffs out her chest. "Why do you have all my vinyls?"

"I think you mean all my vinyls," Anya corrects with a lazy flurry of one hand towards the box.

"You don't even own a record player."

"How the fuck would you know?"

Lexa raises an eyebrow at her friend. "I come over all the time?"

"I could hide it while you're there."

"And then you'd never find it again, because that's what happens every time you try to hide something from me."

Anya shrugs and watches as Lexa picks one of the vinyls and turns it over in her hands, reading the track list on the back with the reverence one would a millennium-old parchment. Then she looks up at Anya with a stern glare.

"Over half of these were stolen from my house."

Anya shrugs again with infuriating nonchalance and Lexa wishes she had a pencil nearby just so she could snap it in two with one hand. Or stab one of Anya's eyes with it.

"Maybe I just rescued them from the actual malefactor," drawls Anya.

"We both know the real culprit sits across from me and has been wearing the same socks for the past three weeks."

Nailed it.

When she looks at her friend, however, all she sees is that same old resting bitch face that never seems to go away.

"Wow, Lexa," Anya deadpans. "Now you've really hurt my feelings."

Sometimes, Lexa wonders if Anya really has a rock where her heart should be. A supernatural, blood-pumping rock, of course, but a rock nonetheless. Or, maybe, Anya is a psychopath. Maybe the blood money theory wasn't so far-fetched after all. That would explain the brazen lack of empathy for everyone else's feelings, most of all Lexa's. What does it say about Lexa that her one true friend is someone who sneezes literally every time Lexa says 'I love you'?

Not that Lexa says it a lot. Only once or twice every few years.

Just enough to have noticed the pattern.

"Are you really trying to blackmail me with vinyls?"

Anya fakes an affronted gasp, laying a hand on her heart. "Would I ever. Think of it as... an incentive."

Lexa really does love Anya, despite her friend's... unique demeanor. Anya helps her come out of her shell — by taking up all the space and forcing her out of her own metaphorical home — and every once in a while she likes to make sure Anya is aware of her gratitude. Sometimes, though, things get really fucking weird.

Lexa would still do anything for her best friend.

"Let's imagine, hypothetically - very hypothetically," she stresses, although Anya's burgeoning smirk tells Lexa she isn't so easily fooled, "that I agreed. What would happen next?"

Anya takes her feet off Lexa's desk and sits up straighter, perhaps aware of the importance of this moment. This, Lexa decides, will determine her answer.

"Well first, I'd have to get you a costar. Then we'd sign some legally binding shit, find a crew, and make the damn movie. Simple as that."

Anya leans forward, looking into her eyes. In Anya's, she sees honesty and a pressing need to reassure. It takes some of the pressure off her shoulders right away.

"Look, Lexa, you can say no. But your name won't be on anything related to the movie and I promise no one in this shitty town will ever find out you did this."

This is why Anya is Lexa's best friend. And it's why Lexa would do anything for her.

Even star in a porno.

"Okay."

Anya's inner smile must be really, really big, because Lexa knows how hard she tries to tamper its outward expression — and still her lips manage to lift into a grotesque grimace. Coming from Anya, it's the equivalent of a blissful grin.

"Okay?"

Lexa nods and closes her eyes, bracing herself for a bone-crushing hug. It never comes. When she opens her eyes, Anya's resting bitch face is back on.

"What, did you want a fucking hug?"

It's a blessing to have her rude friend back, Lexa guesses, because seeing Anya almost smile is fifty shades of unsettling. So she rolls her eyes and rolls with it.

Her next question demands her full focus, lest she makes an even bigger fool of herself than usual.

Lexa breathes in, makes sure all her co-workers are still otherwise entertained, breathes out. Smooths out a non-existent wrinkle in her pants, wets her lips for courage.

"Anyway," she treads with caution, "do you have someone in mind for the other main role?"

It's fitting that Harper McIntyre's hit song One More Betyreyal (one of her less inspired titles, if Lexa may say so) starts playing in that moment, for the look in Anya's eyes speaks of nothing but danger. Lexa wonders how much planning went into this conversation, so Anya could plan all her gut punches in advance.

"Clarke Griffin."

No. No. Anyone but her.

Clarke Griffin is the new recruit, although Lexa hardly understands how there can be someone new considering the station is broke and they’re already overstaffed — and none of them make nearly enough money for how much they laze around all day.

Clarke came from out of town with a fancy degree and was directly hired as an editor. She voices the early afternoon newscasts and Lexa curses the one-hour period during which she's forced to cohabitate with Clarke every day.

Apparently, Clarke had taken a liking to unnerving her, be it by smirking at her every time she catches Lexa staring or by making all sorts of inappropriate comments — to her ear. Lexa hates how much it affects her, but how can she possibly focus on reporting about Lionel "Real Sight" Foster swallowing his own wooden eye or how Jasper Jordan rescued his own private parts from the jaws of two slats of an unassuming park bench if someone keeps doing everything in their power to distract her?

Lexa has a theory (an iron-clad theory, if she may say so herself), and it's that Clarke is trying to get her fired so she can take her shift. It's the best shift of the day. There is no other possible explanation.

"You know what, I take it back. Now you need to convince two people to star in your porno."

"Oh, there's no need." Anya waves her argument away with staggering nonchalance. "Clarke's already said yes."

Wait, what? "But you told me we'd need to get me a costar."

Anya shrugs and Lexa is now seriously considering revisiting her psychopath theory. "I lied."

"You conniving, lying b—"

"Careful," Anya cuts in with a raised eyebrow. "I am under protection of the Capitola Astrologers Union."

"Of which you are president, treasurer, and the only legal member," Lexa reminds her. "And I think any upstanding judge would love to know how exactly every other name on the list has joined said union posthumously."

"I am an astrologer, Lexa. I can communicate with the dead. It's in my job description."

"It scares me that you're not even aware you're describing an entirely different profession."

Lexa sits back, staring at the ceiling (and the chewing gum Murphy glued there a year ago — he could've been an Olympic jumper if he committed to work the way he does to being an asshole), trying to come to terms with a single, harrowing probability: she's going to star in a porno with Clarke Griffin.

"l don't understand why it has to be Clarke."

Anya leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees, expression serious and ready to talk shop. The last time Lexa saw her like this was— actually, Lexa doesn't think she's ever seen Anya like this.

"Look, I've done some market analysis and most girl on girl pairings are a blonde and a brunette." Anya raises both her hands and starts counting off fingers, "Brittana, Petramos, Holstein, Wayhaught, Supercorp, Joanarty, Choni, the inaptly named Shoni, Deanoru, Dana and Alice, Bette and Tina, Catradora, Villaneve, Clexa—"

"What's Clexa?"

"I don't know, some chicks from this fucking terrible CW show."

"Do you like it?"

"Do I like what?"

"Clexa."

"Dude, I don't even know their fucking names!" Anya exclaims, exasperated. As if she's the victim here. "The only Clexa I ship is you and Blondie. Naked. On my porno. Clarke and Lexa. Clexa. Havin' very hot sexa."

"Smart," Lexa deadpans.

"I know."

"Why can't it be Niylah? She's blonde, too."

Anya's smirk is five hundred shades of gross. "I know you'd love to get up close and personal with Niylah's knick-knacks, but no."

Lexa decides to let the comment fly for the sake of her own sanity.

"Why Clarke, though?"

"Because you two have chemistry, you fucking dimwit."

Lexa snorts. Chemistry. Lexa has never heard of something so absurd. She and Clarke have as much chemistry as Harper McIntyre and any semblance of originality.

Which is to say, none at all.

"She makes very inappropriate comments," she argues instead, knowing full well that pressing on the topic of chemistry will only open way for some trademark crass joke from Anya.

"Yeah," her friend agrees, like it's obvious. "Because she knows you love them."

She most certainly does not.

"I most certainly do not."

"You do. Your freakishly tiny ears go red whenever she flirts with you. Your step falters when she makes one of those comments, for fuck's sake," Anya observes, pointing in Lexa's general direction, before leaving forward and laying a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you, my friend, are a walking lesbian cliché."

Lexa takes Anya's hand off her shoulder. "Can you please stop insulting my tragically conspicuous homosexuality?"

"Oh please," Anya scoffs. "I'm bisexual, I can say whatever I want."

"If my step actually faltered - which they don't - it would be because her comments are annoying, off-putting, unprofessional, inopportune, and... and inappropriate", she finishes lamely.

"And you fucking love them."

"I don't."

Anya leans back on her chair with an evil smirk, propping her feet on the table and crossing them at the ankles. Lexa tries to push them off to no avail.

"Legalities aside, it's very simple. Clarke has already said yes. I just recorded you saying yes."

Lexa sputters, "You what--"

"You're both legally bound now." Anya shrugs. "Look at it this way: it will be very educational. You'll finally learn how to make a girl come, and get paid for it. Sort of."

A beat of silence.

"Anya, are you aware that you say something at least vaguely criminal every five sentences? Something that could actually put you in prison?"

Anya clicks her tongue, sinking farther into her chair, and lowers her sunglasses to her eyes.

"I've got friends everywhere, Lex. Let's just say I've dipped more than my fingers in my fair share of pies, if you catch my drift." A second later, she lowers her sunglasses just enough to reveal her eyes. "That means my tongue. My tongue's been in a lot of pies, too."

Lexa doesn't doubt that for a second.

"What I need to know is," Anya adds, taking off her sunglasses and throwing them across the room, "will you dip your fingers in the porn pie?"

Like this conversation hasn't caused enough trauma for thirty lifetimes.

"If I say no, will you still give me back my vinyls?"

"Absolutely fucking not."

Lexa swallows, clenches her jaw, and thinks of all those lonely nights spent in the couch clutching her record player and sharing cookie dough ice cream with it, longing for long-gone times when she'd dance to the mellow voices of the likes Billy Ocean and Ella Fitzgerald.

"My answer is yes."

#that moodboard is way too serious for this lol #clexa #clexa au #clexa fic #clexa fanfiction #clexa fanfic #calmap #my fics #mine