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#i want to know if it played out any differently!!
hoshigray · 17 hours
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Hiiii, I have a request- could you do like jealous or after arguement smex- you can pick any sort of of storyline or any jjk character. (prefferbly a character like sukuna or toji because i feel like they'd be kind mean about it)
Tyy
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𝐚. 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: oof, i think after an argument, sex w/kuna would go crazyyy (esp true form! like yikes)
⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: true form! Sukuna x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - size difference - fingering (f! receiving) - impact play (spanking + pussy slaps) - clitoral play (grinds, swipes, and pinches) - biting - pinching - degradation (bitch, whore) - monster-fucking (he got 2 dicks) - double penetration; anal and vaginal - backshots/doggy position - pet names ([little]dove, my wife, pet, woman) - multiple orgasms - mention of drool/spit and blood.
⊹ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.3k
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You dare avoid him? The King of Curses? Did the screws in your brain finally come loose, and now you’ve gone mad?
Ryōmen Sukuna rarely lets things slide. He is considered the top dog of the cursed Jujutsu world – he doesn’t find himself bowing down to things because things are supposed to bow to him. Anything and everything doesn’t go unnoticed under his gaze, as that’s the order of things that are supposed to happen.
And this philosophy doesn’t stop with you — his little dove.
Being engaged to a human spouse already raises flags of inconsistency. It isn’t rare for you and Sukuna to argue; the workers of the fortress where you reside can attest to this. The love is there, but Sukuna expects you to understand your standing in this marriage. You may be what he always keeps by his side. However, even you shouldn’t overstep him so carelessly.
Nonetheless, your humanness continues to poke him; your resilience is a thorn to your giant husband’s side. The more disagreements you clash with him, the bolder you’ve become in your standing, which makes the cursed man proud, albeit prefers it wasn’t directed towards him. 
And now, after he puts his thunderous foot down and shuts you up with your bickering, you decide to be courageous enough to turn your back on him? Him? Your betrothed? He couldn’t believe what he saw; your expression molded to neutrality before you turned on your heel and headed somewhere away from him. And then you don’t respond when he calls out to you — the absolute nerve.
Oh, you knew Sukuna wasn’t the one to be daring with, especially when you think you can get the last laugh. So, it would be best if he corrected your foolishness. 
“—Dahhh! Su’kunaa, stop! Let go—Ohhh!”
“Shut your mouth. Think you’re in any position to order me now, huh?”
He has you pinned to the tatami flooring, his upper hand on your head to keep your cheek printed on the mat despite your cries. The upper right hand has a good hold on your waist while his lower right hand grips your ankle to keep your legs spread. And with the lower left, he uses it to tease and toy with your chasm. The mouth of his chasm laps around your labia to lick the fluids that coat your slit while his middle and ring fingers grind on your sore clitoris.
This is your punishment: your husband reprimanding you as he gesticulates around your body. You can cry and holler all you want, squirm out of his hold when knowing your efforts are futile. He doesn’t care because he knows that he will make this point to you no matter what.
The tongue of his palm easily swallows your essence, pushing the muscle into your cunt to fuck you. You nearly choke on spit, sensing the considerable muscle swirl around your insides and graze your walls. “Mmph! Oh, fuck—Nnnm! Sukuna, no! I just came seconds ag—Oooh!”
“Do I care?” He raises his sole pink brow, four red eyes scanning your figure, writhing because of his touch. “You will cum however many times I say, my wife.” He draws out the last words to your ear, enjoying how small you appear under his massive shape. 
He lives for your shrieks, your pitch going higher and higher with every flick of his tongue. Swiping your clit makes it harder to maintain balance, your resolve slipping through your fingers with every push and pull of the abnormal tongue.
“Hahhh, ahhhshit, shiiiit,” your eyebrows scrunch together, nails purchasing on the tatami mat beneath you, which you’re sure your scratches would cause damage. Again, not that your jerk of a spouse would care; he is probably getting a kick out of you losing your poise because of him. “Ooh, ‘Kunaa, y’re going too fast…Nnnn !”
“Oh? Does the dove think I’m going too fast?” Sukuna licks the helix of your ear tantalizingly slow, and you gasp when he bites it while the mouth of his palm sloppily kisses the entrance of your vagina. “You wish to cum again, woman?”
You nod hurriedly, his chuckle rumbling to the core of your heart. The hand on your waist comes up to smack your ass, denting the skin by piercing his fingertips. You howl in pain, “Yesss, I wanna cum again!” 
“Hmph, no,” he removes his hand from your throbbing folds before slapping it; the abrupt action erupts a choked sob. Screams fly out at the pinch of his fingers on your delicate bud; the pain from your chasm stings, making your head pound. “You’re not some whore who gets to cum when they want; you’re mine, and cumming without my permission will get you into predicaments worse than this. Are we clear, pet?”
You had no choice in the matter, propping your ass up and your face down, forcing you to take his two cocks with both of your holes. 
“Aiishhh, oh Lord, Shhlow down! I’m t’oo full…!” 
“Mmnn, khheh, I bet you are, grippin’ on my cocks like a real bitch in heat…”
His lower hands keep hold of your hips, keeping you glued to his pelvis as he pistons his fat dicks into your ass and vagina. The tip brushes on your inner walls, and you mewl at every push as the girth stretches your caves. His upper hands keep you held down to the floor, submitting you to his robust stature that easily swallows your small frame.
Your face is still on the floor, drool trickling down your lips as ineligible babbles seep out. “Nnmahh, ahhaa…!” God, he puts so much strength on your poor body; the inability to move or move away from him keeps you immovable for him. 
Sukuna’s pace is unforgiving, propelling himself into your leaky wetness with no remorse. The fact that he has you come two times already doesn’t concern him; if anything, it aids him in pushing to and fro from your tight cunt. He bites his lip from how your rear contracts around him—so snug for his dual limbs as if you’d milk him dry.
“Fsshoo, ohhmy Go—Daah!” A hand finds its way to the left wrist on your shoulder. “Ohh, ‘Kunaa!”
Your wails are broken when he bends down; the added weight is so lethal that you might end up being pressed and being one with the tatami mat. “Hmm? What is it, woman?”
“—Ahhck! Fuuuhuck, pleaseee, can I pwease cu–Uhhmm?!”
You make him snicker, pulling back his rhythm to implement slow yet harsh ruts to your openings while throwing a slap to your asscheek. “Why should I let you?” 
A tear rolls down your hot cheek. “Pleasee, forg’ve me! I shouldn’t have…turned my back on you...”
Crimson eyes narrow while observing the way your ass quakes from his powerful pounds. Sukuna then comes to your shoulder to bite on your shoulder, and of course, you yelp bitterly. The sight of his canines drawing blood from his mark dials his excitement. “Say it properly, pet,” he purrs as he licks the wound on your shoulder.
“Hmmm! Suk’naa, my Lord…”
“Hmm?” He cups and squeezes your cheeks with his upper left for access to kiss your neck, and the lower left snakes down to play with your clit again.
Rubs on your pearl have you squeaking for him and eyes rolling upward— all desperate and aching for your release that you could break any moment. “Forgive me for stepping out of line...Hooooh, I wanna cum on yer cocks,” you admit while swaying your hips. “Please allow me to cum.”
“Depends,” you gulp at his quick answer. “This will be your only kind warning for this; if you dare do it again, don’t ever think of asking me.” Sukuna licks your cheek before he chews on the flesh, your breath halting at the graze of his fangs. “Understand?”
Your brave side takes over to turn to him meekly, watery eyes meeting his fierce red ones – a good move on your part. “Yess, my husband…”
And he sneers. “There you go, little dove.”
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© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ☆ header edit done by me + dividers by @/benkeibear.
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harrysfolklore · 23 hours
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growing family - verstappen!yn
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pairing: verstappen!yn x boyfriend!charles, best fiend!oscar x verstappen!yn
verstappen!yn smau | masterlist | my patreon
You hummed along to the music coming from the speakers of your boyfriend's Monaco home as you stirred some pasta sauce for dinner.
Despite being to Monaco countless of times before, there was something different about being there with Charles for his home race week.
You enjoyed being alone in his apartment while he ran some errands or spent some time training, you felt at home and the company of Leo, the puppy you adopted together made everything better.
However, your time to yourself cooking dinner for you and your boyfriend was interrupted by your phone ringing.
oscar pastry 🥐 FaceTime Video
Frowning because you weren't quite expecting a call from your best friend, you answered.
"Hello mum," he said once his face popped up on screen.
"Mum?" you asked confused, "What are you even talking about?"
"Have you not seen twitter? I'm your kid now, Charles adopted me," he shrugged, "Where's my brother Leo?"
"Oscar are you drunk or something," you laughed at your best friend, "I haven't been on twitter since like, last year."
"Well log in, dumbass," he rolled his eyes and you flipped him off, "Hey! That's not the way to treat your son."
"Gosh stop saying that, we've been best friends since we were 15 it's weird," you shook your head as you opened the twitter app, luckily you weren't logged out because you certainly didn't remember your password.
And the first thing you saw pop up in your timeline was the banter between your boyfriend and your best friend.
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"You guys are so annoying," you threw your head back in laughter as you read the tweets, "And you're both serious about it too."
"Of course, I'm a Leclerc-Verstappen now," he laughed along, "Shit, does that make Max my uncle?"
"It does," your eyes widened, "Are you sure you want that?"
"Well I wanted you guys to adopt me so you give me back the attention your boyfriend stole from me, I never consider Max would become my uncle," he teased, making you laugh.
"Come on pastry, we've talked about this," you gave him a serious look, "You'll always be my best friend and me being with Charles now would never change that."
"I know, I'm just messing around," a small smile played on his face, "You guys seem so happy and I love that for you."
As if on cue, you heard the front door open and your boyfriend's voice calling for you, Leo instantly barking and running to the door when he noticed his presence.
"Mon ange, I'm back," he said as he entered the kitchen, Leo cradled on his arm, "Missed you."
He pulled you closer y the waist and kissed the side of your head, making you smile and lean into him.
"Yikes, I didn't need to see that," Oscar's voice was heard from the phone screen, making you laugh.
"Oh hey son," Charles said to him, "How's my new favorite adopted child doing?"
"Hey dad, just calling to check in on my amazing parents and my little brother," he said, glancing at Leo who was now comfortably settled in Charles' arms.
"This is so weird, stop it," you cringed, making both of them laugh and Charles pull you to him again as you covered your face.
"We're a big happy family, mon amour. Ollie, Leo and now Oscar, the Leclerc-Verstappen family."
You smiled at him, pecking his lips a couple of times.
"Okay that's my cue, I don't want to see you guys making out," Oscar said shaking his head, "Good night, mum and dad, see you this weekend."
"Say bye to your brother too," Charles said, moving Leo closer to the camera.
"Bye Leo!"
As Oscar hung up, you couldn't help but laugh at the entire interaction, "So he's our son now?"
"Yes, and he seems to be enjoying it a lot," Charles chuckled, setting Leo down on the floor, "Who would've thought we'd have an adopted son before getting married or having our own kids?"
"Don't get any ideas, Leclerc," you playfully swatted his chest, "We're not adopting every one of my friends who jokes about it."
"Why not? We could build a whole team," Charles teased, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder and kissing it chastely, "We'd be the coolest family ever."
"It's your secret plan to make everyone on the grid your family? Dating Max's sister and now adopting Oscar, you're something else, Leclerc."
Charles laughed loudly at your words, throwing his head back and making you laugh along.
"Well, what can I say," he shrugged, "I'm charming and people love me."
"That you are," you smiled, kissing him gently.
That you are," you smiled, kissing him gently.
"Now, let me help with dinner," Charles offered, moving to the stove and checking the sauce. "It smells amazing, just like you."
"Smooth talker," you teased, handing him a spoon to stir. "Just make sure it doesn’t burn."
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yojeongin · 3 days
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it’s too bad you’re married to me | m.l
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→husband!mark lee x f!reader | ft. jaehyun + jungwoo
genre: smut, angst, tragic romance, miscommunication, marriage au, 2000s au
synopsis: all mark ever does is use weaponized incompetence to get out of small tasks you ask of him. when he finally realizes you resort to his close friends to do what he can’t— nothing can prepare him for what’s in your pandora box; now karma is set in motion.
warning(s): ADULTS ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! oral sex (m receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, orgasm denial, cum swallowing, jealousy, toxic relationship/love, insecurity, vomiting, work field harassment, mental health deteriorating, self sabotage, smoking, mentions of poor eating habits/self care, pregnancy, mark is a horrible husband. this is for the people who only know toxic and bad relationships, woohoo (...)
wc: 19.5k+ || soundtrack || ao3
part 1 | part 2
© 2024 YOJEONGIN all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works on other social media’s. reblogs are HIGHLY appreciated and preferred!
disclaimer: this is purely fictional; in no way am I condoning this behavior, trying to offend anyone, nor is it meant to place such image on the idol, these are only characters. read at your own discretion.
an: it's been a year since I last updated the happy together series, I guess I lied when I said the stupid girl incident wouldn't happen with this one but hey it's finally over! this is an epilogue for happy together but can be read as it’s own part. yn’s character here isn’t the same as happy together, this is a completely different yn!! fun fact I came up with this before happy together lol
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‘No one wants to think about it. About how your love may run out or hang by a thread because it’s that big, not able to be supported by one person alone. To even have the fleeting negative thought race in your mind. No one wants that.’ — April 25, 2004.
Life was sweet, it was a new romance never felt before (at least in your case). The type to make your heart swell at any sweet action. He was tender, sweet, and attentive. Whatever you asked of him, he’d have for you, ready and in your hands. Mark used to go out of his way for you but slowly the small things became a burden and any little task, he never wanted to do anymore.
Even so, now as you sit on your knees in between his legs, hearing his grunts from the pleasure he is enduring, you put off your own pleasure for his as long as the satisfaction of him feeling loved continues.
With his cock stuffed deep in your mouth, tip hitting the back of your throat. Mark held onto the messy comforter while you kept going. Your nose hitting his pubic bone, staying still for seconds just so he could feel the warmth of your throat around him.
At that feeling Mark allowed a disgruntled moan, loud and perfect. His hips buckle forward, causing you to gag. Tearing up and finger nails softly claw his thighs. That’s the most damage you allowed yourself to cause him. His hand wraps around your hair, the sting of his pulling mirroring the one of your clawing, he was relentless unlike you.
“You’re so good to me. You feel so good, fuck!” He groans, eyes tightly shut. “I love when you gag around me, it feels so good. As if your throat still hasn’t gotten used to me after all these years, pretty girl.”
Raking your nails on the lower back of his thighs, he hisses. With his hands holding onto your head, his thrusts get harder— almost as a counter attack.
The hand you had on his thigh comes in contact with his balls, pinching them where he likes. Playing with and twirling them. Mark’s thrusts become slow but harder, hitting the back of your throat more painful, nothing you wouldn’t take unwillingly, though. He knows you can and will take anything he gives you.
That’s how you knew he was extremely close. When his thrusts were rough and slow, the grip on your hair became tighter when he pushed you further down, becoming extra sensitive to the way you handle his testicles. 
“Ah~ y/n… Please, just a bit more. Ahh…” He pants, stopping his thrusting momentarily until you pinch his scrotum, to which he whimpers loudly. Some sweat had accumulated on his neck and forehead. Glistening, he looked so beautiful, much more than he already is. Mark’s eyes were closed but he could feel your lingering gaze on him. He could feel the penetrating stare that looked at him with adoration.
When he couldn’t handle it furthermore and his thrusts against your throat were becoming sloppy, Mark’s eyes fluttered open, looking down at you, giving you one of his most tender smiles. You never got used to the way he looked at you. Even when he gave you his coldest glares, there was always a sense of adoration to them. 
So one can only imagine the warmth and giddiness you felt when he looked at you this lovingly. Lovingly enough that he removed one hand from your head and placed it on your cheek. Thumb caressing your flesh, soft strokes contradicting the ones abusing your throat.
“What I wouldn’t do to be like this with you forever.” The words contradictory and cheeky to his caring caress, almost conniving. 
Mark’s hips jolted forward, disgruntled moans left his lips but his eyes never left yours. Even after he screwed them shut momentarily from pleasure, he’d always open them to let you know how good he felt. Head thrown back, trying to regain his breath and calmness after the orgasm you had just given him. His hand strokes your head softly whilst you gaze up at him lovingly, your head resting on his thigh. 
“Morning,” your voice snaps him out of it, looking down at you with a smile. “Really good morning.” He chuckles in a breath, leaning down as much to give you a soft and tender kiss, tasting himself on you. Pulling apart, Mark stands up, helping you up from the aching position you were in. Rubbing your knees momentarily to soothe the pang. 
It didn’t take long enough to forget his care and make his path to the kitchen, you trailing behind like a lost puppy, ignoring your ache just to start the day for both of you. “Hey, can you do me a favor?” Your soft voice squeaked against his ear, making him turn to you slowly. A gleam of hope on your part as always.
“What is it?” You could see his emotions coursing through, already looking for excuses as always. “Just— can you pick up an order at Cafe 7 Dream? It’s for Venetia’s pregnancy leave party but I don’t have time to pick it up. Please? During your lunch break?”
Your eyes still glimmer with hope knowing well what his answer already is. “Oh… baby, you already know I can’t. I don’t even know where it is.” He ran a hand through his hair, walking past you after giving his famous apologetic pout. 
Back to him, hopeful smile faltering, slowly closing your eyes disappointed but not surprised knowing the predicted outcome. You sigh quietly, basking in the background noise he made. Opening and closing the fridge door and pans moving around the stove top as if he truly had intentions to do something.
“I guess, yeah… it’s fine I’ll figure it out then.” Defeatedly, you make your way to him, watching him play with the knobs as if he didn’t know how a damn stove works, you only interfered when he opened the egg crate. Rushing to him you took it all off his hands, his faux complaining making you roll your eyes, him oblivious to how it wasn’t playful anymore. “Go shower, you’ll be late.” Still, your voice held no annoyance. 
He chuckles, completely oblivious to your feelings as always. “Or we could shower together…” he suggests, not over the morning rendezvous. Wanting more and more, never satiated.  
You didn’t have it in you to smile at him, shaking your head and dismissing him as you crack the eggs over the pan. He giggles, towards the bathroom, placing a playful slap to your ass on his way.
The walls were thin. You could hear the sound of the toilet flushing, the water running, and your thoughts bouncing off of them. Torturing you with the words and feelings you try to repress all the time in order to live in peace and in love with him.
You loved him. More than anything, to the point it was extremely painful despite him being yours. You’ve fought hard trying to make your love for him unconditional, there was no backing out anytime.
Moments like these in which he shut down your pleas, all you could do was restrain yourself from the ill thoughts your tired brain tried to throw at him. You couldn’t let anything get in between the both of you, not even yourself. 
So instead you rather stand in front of the stove, moving the spatula around to make him his beloved sunny side up eggs. Funny enough, you hated them but if he wanted you to love them, you would.
Coming out of the bathroom, steam painting the mirrors and windows. Mark dries his hair with the towel sitting atop his shoulders, a sniffle leaves him, pulling the chair from the dining table, smiling at you with a ‘thank you’ rolling off his tongue while you set down his dishes and drink right in front of him. 
“You’re not eating?” He questions the moment you sat beside him with just a pouch of Konjac Jelly. You could only smile and shake your head, suckling on the nozzle to get out the contents. You weren’t eating then and there, you just didn’t want to tell him you were getting breakfast with your colleague on your way to work. 
Mark nodded before digging in on the yolk with his spoon, that expected smile on his face.
He talked and talked after every bite and chew. Mark was well aware of how much you liked to hear his voice, especially in the morning before he left you for work. Head resting on your palm as you watched him stack his plates, a smile plastered on your lips from his presence alone. 
“Want me to drop you off? You’re gonna have to hurry though.” The clanking of the bowls on the sink as he passed water over them knowing you’d wash them eventually; making his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth and finish getting dressed. 
Shaking your head as a response, he waits for your explanation. “I’m walking the entire week, don’t worry about me. Maybe I'll take the bus.”
How couldn’t he when both of your jobs were a tad bit far from home. It didn’t help that most of the time you got out late. At least he was thankful Jungwoo could drop you off whenever he wasn’t able to pick you up or simply didn’t feel like it.
“You know I don’t like it when you ride the bus, it’s always filled with… men at these hours. Take care, okay? Call me once you arrive or if something happens.”
Despite your smile of approval, what was he going to do when he can barely take care of himself?
Mark’s lips fell against yours the moment he opened the door to the apartment, towering over you for a few kisses before pulling away. “By the way, can you pick up my suit from the cleaners either later or tomorrow? I have a meeting at the end of the week.”
He was giddy asking you for a favor, clutching his backpack, ignoring the way you tried to not let your emotions show through your face. “Yeah… I’ll do it after work.” Your soft voice, trying its best to hide that tinge of bubbling vexation.
Mark smiled, a giggle leaving his throat whilst his hand caresses your cheek. “I’ll see you at night, baby.” You couldn’t answer, he had bolted towards the elevator. Only the daily bittersweet taste lingers once again.
Shutting the door behind you, your eyes immediately travel to the pile of dishes he left for you on the sink, not even allowing your sighs to escape by how familiar this scene has become. It was rather frustrating for Mark to not notice your obvious signs of unhappiness with him. He knew you loved him, perhaps more than he loved you, which he tends to ignore to not throw himself off.
But that love he thinks you have was blinding him from all the realities of how dysfunctional the relationship was. It was pitiful that his friends were the only ones to actually notice them.
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“Markie, morning!” Johnny’s cheerful voice booms against his ear, hand softly patting the younger man’s shoulder as he signals to follow him and Jaehyun to the break room while handing him a cup of coffee. 
Mark returned the greeting to both of the men standing in front of him, conversing as if he didn’t see them almost daily. From joke after joke, Jaehyun’s phone beeped constantly, the other two ignoring it as he checked it with a giddy smile plastered on his face; Johnny asks if they’d like to get lunch during their break.
Mark immediately agreed to the offer, taking some of the last sips from his coffee. They spoke about restaurant options but upon Jaehyun not answering, rather typing, the blackberry keys louder than his coworkers, the two turned to ask again.
“Jaehyun, you’re down for lunch?” Johnny questions, making his way towards the trash can, depositing away his cup, the eyes on the ‘7’ icon turning to Mark. Jaehyun hums in response, putting his phone away before actually speaking. “Uh, maybe next time. I have something to do.” An apologetic smile, Johnny understanding but Mark lets out a teasing chuckle. 
“Lunch with a special friend?” 
“Actually, I’m helping your wife.”
He didn’t want to make it obvious but Jaehyun put enough emphasis on ‘your’. “She asked for a favor and I always say yes, so...” Jaehyun shrugs, sipping the last of his own coffee.
The air was shifting to hostility the more Mark’s expression began to change, slowly but surely. His eyes followed every move Jaehyun made, ignoring how all the 7’s glared at him, even his own. Johnny was no fool, if Jaehyun couldn’t feel the building hostility, Johnny was clearly feeling and seeing it. His eyes advert from both men as he watched how quickly a mood can be annihilated.
“Always? What do you mean, always?” Mark turns his back to the other two —almost to shield himself from the accusatory numbers—, throwing away his not empty cup and going to the sink to wash off the stickiness from the coffee that spilled on the sides.
The second oldest man mustered a shrug, taking a cup from the water cooler and pouring some in to get rid of that coffee taste on his tongue. Bitter coffee taste, the one lacing Mark. “I mean, I can’t say no to her… if she’s busy and can’t run an errand she asks me to run it for her and in return she bakes me a cheesecake. We all win!” Johnny smiles at Jaehyun at the mention of the desert and his unconvincing naivety.
Mark didn’t speak, his mouth forming an ‘O’ at the realization that the reason you always baked was not for you or your coworkers but for his friend. For doing something you had originally asked of him. Just in the past month you had baked six cheesecakes and all of them after you asked him for a favor that he turned down. All this time he thought you were just baking for pleasure but now he knows Jaehyun helps ease your stress. Jaehyun, not Mark.
“I’m gonna head back…” Johnny’s voice broke him out of his train of thought, the elder’s eyes adverting from his two younger friends before opening the door. Jaehyun announces that he’ll follow behind, leaving Mark to his own thoughts for just a second.
One could call that the start of his demise. If anything Mark would’ve been better off knowing you did everything on your own but now he felt an unjust slight resentment that you ran to one of his friends. Guilt, if you will, for his own faults.
He didn’t let the thought go the entire day and it didn’t become better once you had arrived back home with groceries and his suit in hand. Worse off, he saw you struggle with the heavy items but he made no effort to help, rather analyzed the components in your hands. Contrary to you, upon seeing him, a warm smile spreads on your face. Putting everything down and going up to him to envelope him in an embrace and a tender kiss.
“Hi…” your breathy voice showing obvious signs of agitation. 
“Hey… why are you so late?” He questions, accusatory for something he’s not sure what he’s looking for yet; a minute frown as he looks through the contents of your grocery totes. Cream cheese, graham cracker, sweet condensed milk… a pit in his stomach formed, a growing feeling of confusion followed.
“Another cheesecake?” He questions, taking out the items and starting to put them away. To say you were taken aback was an understatement, your chest swole and you felt some relief seeing he was actually helping. You nod, holding onto the back of a chair to catch yourself. Mark hums, turning to look at you. Upon seeing how sunken and dull you were looking, his expression turned to one of concern.
“Have you eaten?” Mark asks, his hand reaching to caress your cheek. “Yeah! We had a dinner party for Venetia’s leave.” ‘I told you about it..’ you want to add. No matter, you knew it was futile with how he hums in response. It was true about the dinner part but you hadn’t eaten there, Jungwoo and you had decided to blow it off and go to a soup bowl restaurant instead.
He hums again, putting away all the other groceries and leaving just the cheesecake items. “Seventh cheesecake this month isn’t it?” 
His piqued interest sounded hostile and cold, eradicating any sense of relief that he cared. “Yeah, why not?” Responding with a smile and knitted eyebrows, Mark didn’t add more. In turn, he took his items from the living room to the bedroom, opting to continue working there. 
Looking at the empty spot he left, a sigh left your lips before continuing to fulfill your part of the deal with Jaehyun. You didn’t know if the sigh was from relief or grief. Regardless, his care was too good to be true. 
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The next morning he had woken to your spot on the bed empty and cold, a building resentment and loneliness starts to grow when times before he didn’t feel them. Odd. 
Giving himself a few minutes of rest time until he decided to get up and do his daily routine. By the time he had reached the table, his breakfast was covered to keep the warmth in, glowering when he noticed it was slightly warm but getting cold. A note on the side of his dishes. 
‘Decided to head early. Sorry in advance if the food gets cold. Love, y/n’
A small heart next to your name, Mark smiles to himself. As he ate his breakfast, his concerns and the slight jealousy he had gained overnight dissipated. He felt foolish for questioning your relationship with Jaehyun. What was there for him to be jealous of? Hell, Jaehyun was taking care of the burdens he didn’t want to, that’s a win-win situation, no? Jaehyun gets his treat, you remain content, and he isn’t bothered. Yeah, he can now think clearly and see that’s fair. Nothing ever comes out of your close friend being nice and considerate of your wife, right? 
Hmm…
Nevertheless, Mark shakes his head with a goofy content smile whilst he drops his dishes in the sink, passing cold water over them. You picked up his suit yesterday and today it was hanging, freshly steamed furthermore. His shoes clean and shiny by the door, food you cooked for him in his system, and overall a lovely note you wrote him. Mark knows you love him and only him, what a stupid little preoccupation yesterday was.
“Dumbass.” He chuckles to himself, squeezing a plushie he had gotten you that ever since, you left on the bed, your smell on it; you’d always be near him and oh how he loved that security. Surely he has to let you know how he adores your love.
Walking towards your desk to look for whatever piece of paper, he sat on your chair, opening the drawers and searching for at least a sticky note.
Upon finding the nearest notebook, Mark pulled it out along a pen. Opening it to where he could find a clean page; he stumbled on multiple pages of frantic writing and numbers written all over. Sometimes they went down and sometimes they went up, if the number was higher than last, a large ‘x’ crossed it in red. He didn’t think much of it, maybe something to do with work statistics?
Curiosity still got the best of him, he’s never seen you write messily. Everything you’ve written has been tidy and neat, so this was interesting. Flipping through the pages, he found two lists. They read the same thing but the one on the left had more x’s whilst the one on the right had check marks, sometimes nothing.
Pick up cleaners,
fix the leak in the kitchen
pick up order from cafe 7 dream
find a new car inspection place
pick up Venetia’s leave cake
Those were all things you had asked him to do and things he had told you he couldn’t do on account of all the excuses he made. All striked through, ink bolder and fresher the more recent the task was. All those crosses were for him and he figured all the check marks were for Jaehyun.
Some of the stuff seemed too intimate for Jaehyun to do for you. Picking up the cleaners? Fix the leak? Find a car inspector?
Jaehyun had no responsibility to find any of this stuff for you but there he was doing what Mark couldn’t and that jealousy he felt yesterday was back again. That meant you hadn’t picked up his suit yesterday, right? It was Jaehyun who had done so and his grubby hands must’ve left oils for you to steam it again?
God, no… he was being irrational again!
The more he flipped through the pages, Mark read the small and longer paragraphs. Most of them written frantically and showed obvious frustration. It seemed to be completely full of vent paragraphs. You wrote down your desperations and thoughts, often seeming angry and saddened. He cared for all that but they became unreadable the more upset you became as you went on. 
Few things that made his head pound and chest start to rip apart were how many times he read two names over and over: ‘Jungwoo’ and ‘Jaehyun’. You met them through him, he had brought them into your life but now he was finding that to be a mistake. 
Ironic, isn’t it? You spoke so well of them. Every paragraph regarding them was neatly written and cohesive. For the most part you were just thanking them for making your life easier.
‘Keep forgetting to look for new posts, Jungwoo has been helping but he seems kinda down when he does.’
‘Dinner coordinator keeps bringing the same catering and it’s growing tiring, seaweed treats are hell. Thank god Jungwoo took me out instead. — 03.29.08, 22:37.’
Last night’s date. You had told him you ate at the company dinner but instead went out with his friend and didn’t think to tell him, opting to lie about it. He knew you loved him but now he was questioning if the amount was just as big as he thought.
‘Wonder if Jaehyun is getting tired of these favors and cheesecakes. I don’t think he even finishes an entire one in a month and I’ve baked seven for him, I fear for his fridge. It’s not as big as I thought now that he moved. Nevertheless, thank god I can count on him to actually do these favors for me.’ 
The last part stung horribly. It didn’t seem to be a jab on him from how you wrote it but he took it as such given he always did something wrong when you asked him to just so you would stop or he’d make excuses for the same reason. He now took issue with you preferring Jaehyun’s and Jungwoo’s help over his. 
He also hadn’t told you Jaehyun moved apartments so there was no reason for you to know how big his fridge was. It stung more that neither of his friends told him about the close friendship they held with you, his wife. 
The last note on the paper is what caught his attention; ‘Lunch with Jungwoo at Cafe 7 Dream, 12:30 today.’
It’s only 08:35 in the morning as of right now; he got dressed and put away all your stuff trying his best to make it seem like he didn’t rummage through. As he buttoned up his shirt all he could think about was going to said cafe and seeing what it was all about. A part of him told him to stop being stupid, you and Jungwoo were friends too given the company you two work in, so a lunch shouldn’t be bad. But he couldn’t shake off this uncertainty.
His day went monotonously. From the moment he made his way out of the apartment, to his daily drive through the freeway with a clear view of a big ‘7,' not drinking his daily coffee with his colleagues, to now being back in the car, looking at that same ‘7’ he sees daily while he roams for a parking spot.
Whatever was playing on the radio was static and the air around him stuffy, not even the rolled down windows being able to aid him. It was around 12:53 in the afternoon when he had arrived and parked a few spots away from the vast window of the cafe. Bringing down the sun visor, fingers strumming on the steering wheel, and his lips pursed, eyes roaming the area— Mark had spotted you and his friend in the outdoor section. 
His initial jealousy wasn’t present right now, he was mostly focused on the image that had never been presented to him: you were visibly upset. Throughout your six years of being together, you always remained calm and even when he spewed vile things towards you during one-sided arguments you never cracked.
Maybe that’s why you’ve lasted this long. He could say whatever he pleased and kept off his chest while you never gave him a negative reaction. For the most part whenever you didn’t respond in the arguments he’d angrily walk out of the situation to go meet with his friends while he left you to scribble your feelings onto the journal he stumbled upon just today.
Your arms flailed, hands forming into claws that whenever you were spewing something that angered you, clung to your flesh, leaving dents on it— must have been that intense if he could see those forming. Your hair was disheveled but your clothes intact besides the pantyhose you were clawing at earlier. You didn’t look dull anymore but you did look on the brink of angry tears.
In contrast to you, Jungwoo leaned back on his metal chair, hair kept well combed, suit intact and ironed, with a shit eating grin on his face as he nodded with everything you said. His words were slow, helping Mark in reading his lips and only being able to read just that sentence: “Let it all out, you don’t deserve this.” Every time he said those words, you’d slump over the table, head resting on your hands and nodding to yourself.
The perplexed expression on Mark’s face never left. His eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed, leaning in against his wheel as if any of that would help him listen to the conversation. It worsened when Jungwoo took a small box from his pocket, handing it to you in which you’d give him an apologetic smile for ranting to him while also being thankful.
He didn't understand where all this came from. You have always been so calm, never letting things affect you let alone smoke. Hell, you're the reason he stopped smoking but here you were doing what he used to do with his friend.
At this moment he didn’t understand why he had rushedly gotten out of his car and inside the building. All the courage he mustered to go inside dying whenever he saw the both of you stand up from the table after paying.
His heart was palpitating in horror. He couldn’t excuse why he was there this time, he told you he didn’t know where this place was so it would only worsen your already horrible mood. Not to mention, he had nothing to say. How would he start the conversation? “I know I’ve lied to you about this place but what the fuck is your deal with Jungwoo and Jaehyun? What’s your journal all about?” No, he can’t let you know he’s been snooping, let alone have you think he’s jealous.
Mark could only follow behind a group of people walking to the counter, hiding amongst them and hoping you stayed enthralled in your conversation to not notice him. At least he was thankful he could finally hear the conversation but that dissipated the moment he heard Jungwoo’s voice.
“If you keep pushing away and shutting off your frustrations with him this won’t end well. You can’t just conform to keep him with you and let him do all he’s doing. You can’t let him act the way he does and hope he changes without asking. You know what my grandma would say? If you don’t speak, God won’t hear you. And he’s not hearing you. Are you not miserable in the relationship?”
It stung. It painfully stung deeply in his heart that he truly felt he was having a heart attack right now, cardiac arrest— whichever. It sounded oddly familiar.
“Mark says, 'If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.’ So which is it?” Jungwoo laughs, shrugging. “Seems God can’t make up his mind or he's fucking with us just because he can.”
Sadly for the both of you this was only the start of your demise. As for the following weeks, Mark had begun to dig deeper into this madness he was slowly learning he had created. Every time he was home alone, Mark began to read the notebook he had found. Your writing didn’t become any less incomprehensible but he was starting to learn what certain loops meant.
He wouldn’t say your writings were enjoyable, rather more concerning than anything but this is the closest he’ll get to truly knowing you. It still baffles him that after six years of being together, you were capable of hiding this much from him. The only time he could recall you actually being mad was the time both of you crossed paths with one of his childhood friends.
The atmosphere turned hostile and tense as the older male reprimanded him for not inviting them to his wedding to which Mark said he did, he even gave his mother the invitation directly to give to them. The look the two shared had made your insides churn, in that instance you wanted to cut your own chest to relieve that sting within.
You could handle a lingering look and his friends' questioning remarks whenever speaking to you, but what killed you was that it took him a week to regain his dignity after he bid him goodbye with a kiss to his cheek. The words: “They long to see you.” Cascading from his lips, but Mark smiles tenderly and awkwardly.
Mark only recalls you giving him blank stares and taking a while to answer him, conversations non-existent unless he started them. But Jungwoo got to see you tear your desk down, shred paper after paper, and cry in agony at the same time that entire week, knowing well what the older man had meant, you weren’t stupid after all, he’s not the only one who’s read someone’s secret stash of letters. 
That’s the only time he thinks you’ve been mad at him or resentful enough. If only he knew how many fits Jungwoo has experienced and cleaned. But while you might not be foreign to an empty bed, Mark was. When he felt your side of the bed still neatly made and the duvet cold, a sense of fear made him shoot up. 
He had gotten home before you that day once again, trusting that Jungwoo was giving you a ride not long after he arrived like always. After a few hours of working on some data and analysis to the point of not being able to eat the dinner you had woken up early to cook for him. Mark had decided to rest for a while not thinking of taking a nap until his eyelids feel heavy and his slumber commenced.
That was around 6:43pm, now it’s midnight with no signs of you in the bedroom and if he knew anything from those six months of living with a married couple— one of the spouses was up to something.
That’s where his fear rose and his chest started to constrain his breathing. You would never do anything to hurt him, right? Mark knew you loved him. Yes, you love him, you’d never do anything of the style. You're not her.
You're not her...
Opening the bedroom door with such force; he startled you, jumping once the doorknob slammed against the wall. His fears dissipated the instance his eyes laid on your sitting figure. Crouched over your desk with a pen on hand and arm covering the pages of that same notebook. While he was relieved to see you, now he was worried of what else you could add to wreck his nerves.
“When did you get home?” His raspy voice questions. You shrug, taking his presence, closing the notebook and shoving it into one of your desk drawers. 
“Maybe an hour ago? Jungwoo got quite drunk so Jaehyun took a while to pick us up.” 
Mark knew what jealousy felt like, he’s experienced it in the most hateful way and over all these years he trusted you enough to never feel this strongly ever again but his friends were starting to test his patience. It may be subconscious and a self inflicted fear but Mark knows what friends can do. 
“You didn’t say you were going out with Jungwoo.” That pitch of irritation laced his tongue, every word getting louder the more he shook his slumber away. His eyebrows furrowed unconsciously. He really didn’t want to have any reaction but he can’t reap what he sows.
Mark always started like this when an argument would ensue. You could handle his vile words and reproaches but you had a presentation tomorrow and the last thing you needed was for him to treat you like shit at midnight. You’ve had enough of your supervisor for that. 
“Company dinner meeting, Mark… I told you about the presentations.” Your voice was betraying you with how whiny it came out. But could anyone blame you? You had been ecstatically talking about this for almost a month, even Johnny knew about it. It just seems the man you married couldn’t be bothered enough to remember. 
Mark tried his hardest to pick at his brain and recollect the memories of you telling him. It was of no help that you hadn’t written about it in your journal either. All he had left was to deflect. 
“You could’ve called me to pick you up, though? Why did you have to call Jaehyun?” 
“Would you have gone? You've been sound asleep the while I've been here.”
Your tone took him aback, this was the first time he could hear some attitude and mocking in your voice. He didn’t know whether to be happy that for once you spoke to him like this or angry that the mention of Jaehyun was eliciting this response, almost as if you’re defending him.
Noticing the look of confusion on his face, you retracted any possibility of continuing this ensuing argument. Just like him, you’ll avoid any further action.
“Go back to bed, love. I’ll be there in a bit.”
He didn’t listen, just sunk his feet deeper into the tile, processing the whiplash of your actions. On the contrary, you walked past him to the bathroom, forgetting to turn off the stereo system, hoping your nightly ritual would help you not think about these happenings. Him? He’ll sulk like he is not at fault.
‘Oh, I think you’re holding the heart of mine. Squeeze it apart, that's fine…’ The melody mocks and lulls him goodnight. 
A similar situation happened days later. The days building up to that night, you hadn’t asked him for any favors. Times before he’d be glad but now he grew weary. The only outlier was that you weren’t baking, so had the rewards gone further than sweet treats? How far could you go?
No! Stop! Mark knows you’d never do anything like that, you’re not her, that’s a huge reason he fell for and married you. You ar– were perfect.
But then, why haven’t you asked anything of him yet? Was it truly futile now?
Deja vu hit, the bed was cold beside his own spot, your plushie thrown to the floor (the only difference), no sign of you, but the second he swung the door open, there you were. Sitting mindlessly on your desk, scribbling things he couldn’t see but knew he would struggle to understand later. He approached slowly, the only light source the lamp before you.
“What are you doing?” His voice is curious and soft in comparison to last time. You shrug like before, scribbling. “Nothing.” Precise yet somehow cold. No matter how much closer he got, by only a step, you shut the journal, throwing it in your drawer and turning the lamp off. He didn’t know how to take it, your actions swift and nonchalant but regardless you still made the effort to kiss him goodnight on the way to complete your night routine. 
01:48 read the stereo system. Mark hums, this night’s song mocking him again while his eyes look into the darkness and curves of your desk, directly at the drawer that held all your grievances. He contemplates it but it’s no use tonight.
‘I love him so much, it just turns to hate. I fake it so real, I am beyond fake. And someday you will ache like I ache.’ He chuckles, turning it off.
The next day was enough. You had left before him again, no reason as to why either but later he had learnt that Jaehyun had gotten into the office late with a Cafe 7 Dream drink in hand and not bought by Johnny.
He had taken your absence as an opportunity, looking at the positioning of things in your desk carefully to remember how he’d put everything back. Slowly but surely, he took the journal out, opening it to the new pages.
With the journal in hand, he steps into the kitchen, sitting on the dining table where his warm food rested. Warm enough to let him know you left not long ago. Effortlessly, he uncovers it, sliding the plates towards him and standing up to get a drink. The ice-cold water pitcher sat in front of him and he began his tasks.
‘Guilt floods me every time I ask Jaehyun and Jungwoo for favors. Is this excessive? Poor Jaehyun looks so tired, I think I have to ease it. He may claim it’s fine but how much cheesecake or danishes can someone eat without feeling the weight of burden grow as fat around his muscles?’ “What a way with words,” Mark scoffs to himself, accidentally biting the inside of his cheek, his teeth scolding him.
‘Jungwoo on the other hand is probably exhausted from my complaining. I see this as my karma for all the times I told friends to leave their bummy boyfriends. I get it now. This feeling is too strong. I can't just end it, I think… Regardless, I do need to stop with the favors, hell they’re easy so I can do them but it’s nice to not hear them complain or make excuses instantly. That’s selfish of me but I deserve some self indulgence from time to time. No… not at their expense at least...‘
00:59 at the time you began writing that.
He didn’t like that. He’s read enough for the past few weeks but nothing like this. The bummy part even less.
He won’t deny that he wished your food got stuck in his throat and suffocated him so he can drop dead with your journal in hand and true guilt arises in you when you find his body but that’s not him, that’s his jealousy and anger speaking. Maybe he was getting influenced by your entries, this is something you would say just not to him.
Mark scoffs again, sighing heavily, and pushing his chair to get out. He leaves the food uncovered and dishes dirty to complete his morning routine. Despite his anger he puts back your journal not counting on the wet back from the water pitcher but flaws are meant to happen when you’re letting frustration blind you. 
The day went in a blur from then until lunch. Snapped out of his trance by Johnny shaking his shoulder and their manager next to the taller man, Mark gave the two a fish out of the water look. One that made his manager pinch the bridge of his nose but shook it off while Johnny on the other hand gave him a questioning look. The man wasn’t stupid, he could see how distant Mark had been and at most kept to himself despite trying to act like everything is fine and bond with him and Jaehyun, but he’s not that great at covering the heart on his sleeve.
“Here, take the intern with you and ask for the lunch platter at Cafe 7 Dream, the meeting is in less than an hour and we still aren’t prepared.” The manager rushedly spoke, handing him his credit card, the gray hairs on his side seemingly growing with every word he spoke. It was a large investment meeting and he needed to secure this but he had been so careless that their hospitality was a wreck. 
Nevertheless, Mark agreed, the new intern standing behind the other two men that he hadn’t noticed her until she popped out, startling him a bit. She was young and timid, he hadn’t heard her speak but that little jump she caused him made her laugh apologetically. 
That’s the most verbal communication they had through the ride to the cafe. The radio was adamant on playing TVXQ and she enjoyed it while he focused more on the sounds the tires made and the honking from outside. Even when they arrived at the cafe they didn’t speak, if anything their expression said it all. He seemed tired and uninterested while she was indifferent with only polite smiles to her senior.
Crossing the threshold of the first doors, a familiar figure stops in front of him much to the other’s confusion when his indifference turns into a content smile. No matter how frustrated he was with what he had read, an inkling in him will always remind him of the affection he has for you. “Y/n, hi!” He exclaims, turning to you a hand reaching for your shoulder. You’re not too sure how genuine his giddiness is but in the moment for Mark, it’s the most sincere thing ever, more than you have ever been.
It’s not enough to convince you though, with your eyes flitting between him and the intern as he kisses your cheek and the other stands awkwardly behind only flashing you a quick greeting smile before looking around.
“What are you doing here?” Your voice broke the interactions, a hint of annoyance and to an extent accusatory over something that you haven’t voiced, turning to her again before looking back at him. The young girl wasn’t quite sure of how you felt but knew it was a safer bet to go order before their boss called, clenching his ass from how fast time went and he didn’t have things ready.
Clearing her throat, “I’m going to go order… The card?” She extends both hands, Mark takes out their manager’s card and hands it to her who bolts to the register. It doesn’t take Mark long to turn to you, smile slowly faltering, seeing your stare. Unsure if it’s a glare or if that’s how you look at someone when no longer adoring.
“Manager sent us to get something for a meeting.” He brings his smile back, hoping that would help. Yet, you hum and that’s all he gets. It takes a few seconds until your mouth, like a fountain, unexpectedly spouts something. “I’ve asked you to get things for me from here but you always say you don’t know where this place is.” A soft huff leaves you while forcing a smile. You can feel warmth rush from your skull down to your feet. It’s not pleasant, at all, but you can’t lose your cool right now. Not in front of him.
Perhaps if this had happened before reading your entries, Mark would have dismissed it but now he was growing knowledge of your behavioral cues and he can see your hands go behind your back, allowing your nails to cling onto your bare skin.
He musters a sigh and looks at his watch, the meeting was near. “We can talk about this later, pretty girl.” His hand reaches your arm to stop you although he makes sure to not let you know he knows about your little habit.
You shake your head, smiling up at him and going in for a kiss. “No, it’s cool, it’s fine. I just– don’t worry about it. I’ll see you later at home, okay? Okay.” You didn’t wait for a response and habits don’t die so he found it preferable to drop it. At least he’ll probably read about it in your journal soon and not have you complain in his ear.
Of course you’re not going to be in his ear when you’re on your phone frantically typing something and soon putting it to your own. Seems you’ll be blowing someone else’s ear off and it’s likely the poor loser will be Jungwoo. With every motion, flailing arm, and facial contortion– Mark knew enough of how this little thing made you feel and all he could react with was a grunt.
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On weekends, by the time he began to rustle in bed and stretch, he’d be greeted with kisses and tight embraces. They often made him giggle but this weekend was much different. Once again, he woke up with the plush on the floor, a cold bed, and the window closed with only the racket outside the bedroom door. Everything was muffled but if there’s something he identified was the smell of food being made and those two laughs he’s known very well for quite a while now.
With some surprise, he jolts up. His body aches from the lack of stretching but his feet don’t care and drag him out of bed. Opening the door he’s met with Jungwoo and Jaehyun bickering about how heavy the couch was, soon to shift their attention to the movie that had been playing through broadcast TV. On the other hand he turned to look at you taking out things from a cabinet, Jungwoo rushing to help, a screwdriver in hand as he inspected the door– it creaked.
“Morning…” He greets, stretching a bit and hiding his yawn behind his arm. You make way towards him but the other two were quicker, taking his hand and continuing their greeting-shake. By the time you reach him, he kisses the top of your head, your arms around his torso in a hug like they should’ve been when he woke up. Jaehyun and Jungwoo throw each other a glance, one you both miss but that they mask with their teasing towards Mark.
“Morning? It’s nearly two.” Jaehyun begins, “Can you blame him? What does he have to do on a lovely Saturday?” Jungwoo continued but it came out rather bitter despite trying to be playful. Mark manages to laugh just like the rest of you, it doesn’t change the warning look you throw at Jungwoo who ignores it while removing the cabinet door, showing more chipped parts to it.
“Can you help me find something, then?” Mark dismisses the other two, looking directly down at you. Without hesitating you nod, walking to the room with him, your grasp on his torso not falling, rewarded with a tender smile of his. Unbeknownst to you two, the other pair give each other a glance again, although this time it lingers on each other. Disappointment and exhaustion painting itself on their features before going back to the favors.
The wooden door shut behind you two, Mark makes way to the restroom to brush his teeth and wash his face, leaving you situated on the bed and confused. “What are we looking for?” You question with some excitement as if this was a task you truly wanted when making him happy was enough.
“Why didn’t you tell me they were coming?” He finally speaks, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, hair strands damp. “They’re just fixing some stuff.” You ease softly, smiling up at him as he stares at you. 
His hand perched on your shoulders, pushing you down on the mattress and met with a surprised squeaking giggle that he shut immediately with a kiss. Those same hands wrapped around your body pulling you flush against him as his tongue works against your own.
Lips became slick by the moment but he felt so much pour into that kiss. So much longing and desire. A mixture of lust and guilt and that balance may be why he felt the need to keep you here in this room with him and not out there with those vultures.
Possession is the word he’s looking for.
His hands began a journey down your body, feeling every curve until they rested on your hips. Inching closer to the hem of your shorts, teasing their entrance under. It was enough for you to gasp quietly, feeling his cold damp fingers while he kissed you, smiling into it. He swallowed every word and protest before you could even spew them. 
Your own hands on his hair, lips submissive to his. A moan when you feel his digits fully in between your legs. You shake your head but not in protest but rather of how much you needed his touch. “Say something…” He whispers against your lips, no smile on his face. “Please…” You beg, his fingers making slow circles to not hurt you but enough to get you to lubricate and use that instead.
The scene was greedy and lustful but ultimately, he was reminded of those two out there and the reason as to why they were present lingered. Was the couch and cabinet door that important that you had to call the little crew? No matter how displayed you are for him, with your hands holding onto him, lips kissing his own, and legs open for his own disposition– Mark was still aggravated.
Softly he pulled away from you, caressing your face with his free hand while his fingers went to work. “Why didn’t you ask me to help instead of them?” He tries to seem soft spoken like his caresses but those become rougher the more he speaks. “Would you have done it?” There he knew how much little faith you had on him and the scene from a while back repeats.
“I’d go to the end of the world for you, Y/n.” Mark confesses into the kiss, neither of you too sure how truthful that was. His fingers make their entrance into you, slowly moving to elicit a response. Your body ran hot, his clothed figure above you, silently begging for you to at least believe a fraction of what he said. Those pleading and mopping eyes as he pumped his ring and middle finger, increasing the pace.
You believe me like a God,
‘You’re being so cruel.’ You want to tell him, to engrave it in his brain but it instead came out as a pleased disgruntled moan, one he took as accepting his lies. Mark smiles, head tilting to the side before lowering it to begin kissing your chest. Tongue lapping on the dents your collarbones create, whispering his ailments in them to the point of flooding and creating lakes that flowed down to your perked nipples after unbuttoning your blouse. His tongue, scorching and velvet against them. Granted was a jolt and a gasp when you felt his mouth wrap around one, biting softly to soon suction on the tit.
I’ll destroy you like I am.
Teeth grace your goosebump filled skin, kissing where his teeth left razor marks. Threatening crimson to spill only to be a false alarm, lingering pain and pleasure was all that was intended to reside. His fingers slowed the pace, blunt thrusts per second that left an ache between your legs when his palm came in contact with your outer skin, but oh how good it felt when his fingers hit your sweet spot. It doesn’t help that by this point he had inserted a third finger, the stretch causing so much more need within you.
His mouth travels up the path he created after years of savoring your body. Tongue feeding the dried stream, cool when its source disappeared to carve marks on your neck. It was so juvenile but he wanted you to go out of that room with some swelling for those two to see. Eliciting another moan from you, Mark’s free hand softly comes up to your mouth, covering and sealing it with shushes against your ear.
“Do you want them to know what we’re doing?” He whispers in the same location, you shake your head fervently, feeling hazy and growing even more needy. “Good girl.” He grins, removing his hand to hold your neck, pulling you in for another kiss. His teeth gracing your lower lip, softly nipping it to soon ease the pain he’s caused with his tongue– as he always does.
His fingers kept working their magic between your legs despite the constriction of your shorts, his wedding band no longer feeling cold inside of you but the fact that he didn’t think about removing it made you feel more aroused. To feel that metal piece unite you besides legality but through flesh and body.
Mark must have felt your growing arousal, especially with how much easier it was to ease his fingers within you. The clamping of your walls, more of a clue. In this instance he wanted to be cruel, and he attempted so. His hand stopped moving, rapidly getting out of your shorts and causing a desperate groan to leave your lips, legs quivering from the abrupt halt.
Just as he was going to cause a drought to the land of your skin and mouth, your hands took a hold of his body. Wrapping around his shoulders to hold him near, causing him to stumble slightly but not to topple over you; able to hold himself up. He won’t deny that knocked the wind out of him to a degree, feeling like in any instant he could have crushed you but pride and satisfaction soon filled him.
“Please, Mark… let’s finish at least.” You beg, your voice drunk off of his touch and whiny from how long it had been since you received anything from him. “Yeah? You want that?” He questions, making fun of you with that smug grin on his face, remaining features feigning compassion. He smiles at your desperate nod, mimicking the motion when he laughs quietly, kissing you again. 
Swallowing every single one of your silent moans that he told you to keep quiet to not let those two outside know what he was doing to you. Thing is, he did want them to know, he wanted them to see how fucked you will look once he is done with you. He wants them to see how your legs spasm when trying to walk and see how marked and irritated your neck is. He’s simply making fun of you right now and you’re falling for it because you will be anything he wants. Even a fool.
His hand slowly slides off your shorts and panties, caressing your warm legs in the process. His once calloused fingers from his creative days that he left behind now soft and tender. You held his face in between your own hands, making sure he never kept too much distance between your lips, that fresh taste of mint still lingers on his tongue.
“But do you deserve it?” Mark immediately stops his caressing and kissing, the words echoing in the cavern of your mouth, you swallow them. His gaze is cold but curious, scanning your own for a response, a witty one.
In this instance he tries to remove his touch from you, your grip on him despite how his knee teases its clothed friction against your exposed and destitute clit. He had been denying you an orgasm for the past fifteen minutes, depriving the other two from knowing what was going on but Mark didn’t care, he was luxuriating in this.
“You’re being so cruel.” You finally say the words that had been covering the walls of your brain and heart. Needy yet angry tears prickling the corner of your closed eyes. It wasn’t just lust but the fact that he was playing dirty when you’re so vulnerable and in dire need of getting something from him. For once.
“You think so?” His knee stops, eyebrow quirking, shit-eating grin falling. You nod, a pout forming, making things worse. ‘Did you really have to cry now?’ He asks himself, huffing as he shakes his head, pulling down his sleeping shorts.
“You jump to conclusions so quickly, it's always such a shame.” He doesn’t dare look directly at your face as he speaks this, knowing that the constraint and squeeze of your heart was showing. No, instead you’re met with the warm feeling of his spit falling off his tongue onto your cunt, some on the tip of his cock.
To be given something forced you to shut your eyes, a moan of relief enclosed within the four walls of the bedroom you shared with him. It became louder when you felt the intrusion of his dick within your walls, his mouth covering yours to drown those sounds. He likes to cherish these sounds for his own entertainment.
He gives you a few seconds to adjust to him, the girth feeling foreign despite how familiar you are with every inch and crevice of his body. Slowly, he picks up the pace, raising your leg to prop it beside him. “See how things turn out when you’re patient?” He asks, searching for your eyes but they’re shut.
The most he gains are pleasured moans in the crook of his neck. Mark can’t figure out how satisfied he is with that answer, so his hand opts to slap the inside of thigh, causing you to whine but reward it with kisses to his neck.
To be fair you didn’t think this could last long. Not when you abstain from self gratification, knowing that only he can bring you to an orgasm and given it’s been a while since you two slept together, an orgasm was long overdue. The friction of his pelvis on your clit while he thrusted was not helping. Just feeling that extra sense of overstimulation while his shaft filled every nook and cranny of your cunt, feeling his length bulge in your stomach.
Holding your body to his, your face buried in his neck begging him to please let you come. The hand beneath you pushing you flush against his own body. If it wasn’t for his shirt as of now, he’d be more vocal with how well you’re both feeling his cock go in and out of you. For now he’s relying on his sweet words, worshiping how well you’re taking him.
Specifically: “Feel how perfectly you were meant for me, pretty girl?” He grabs your hand holding his shoulder, pressing it against your stomach and for some reason that makes you feel like you could come any second now, begging him silently to let you. To please grant you this one thing.
“Fuck, Mark… just give me this, please…” You cry out, eyes screwed shut, lashes wet from pained and pleasured tears. You felt it in your core, you felt how bad your body clamored for some release.
“How bad do you want it?” He asks, his own words struggling to come out unlike the pre-come lining your walls. “As much as you.” You claim, fingernails clinging to his skin, a shallow groan leaving him. He likes to know how much you need him and if you were going to the lengths of hurting him to leave your message, so be it.
With every thrust, your nails dig deeper into his shoulder blades, sliding down his back. Whether he was picking up masochism or basked in the pleasure of the sadism he inflicted, Mark felt it. He felt how he gave out before you. Spurts of come followed with desperate deep moans that you swallowed in dire need of your own release.
But he was cruel. Very fucking cruel that the second that he stopped spasming and decorating your walls, his actions halt. For a few seconds he holds his position, head on your chest trying to relax his body full of adrenaline. If he was to look at you, he knew your face would beg him for your own release.
After a minute or two he pulls away slowly, taking his shirt off and reaching for the wipes inside his night stand. He warms them with his breath, moving them around to disperse the heat, only to lay them flat between your legs to clean off anything that fell out (although not much), propping your legs up and laying some pillows behind your back so you could rest for now.
Tongue poking his cheek before sighing and turning his back to you. “That’s cruel.” He didn’t say anything furthermore, his voice harsh and cold. Locking the bathroom door behind him and leaving you sprawled on the bed, arousal immediately terminated and the only feeling was of regret for saying what you did and letting things go this far. You couldn’t cry either, the other two would probably cut you off this time for good. So you’ll deny your body from letting out its emotions again. Afterall, Mark has made you be so resilient in that aspect.
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Jungwoo’s and Jaehyun’s tasks were complete by the time Mark had gotten out of the shower, lunch too. The entire time underwater he spent it beating himself for the decisions he’s made to let things go this way. A month ago he was content thinking his wife loved him despite his flaws but Jaehyun’s big mouth made him unravel slowly that he was doing more harm than building an eternal home. Mark was resentful, he’s not going to deny that. He hated how quickly theatrics and how easy things he saw as fine can fall.
It stung more that you were laughing uncontrollably with the other two, seemingly neither had anything to mention of the marks on your neck or the completely different outfit you have in comparison to the shorts and blouse from earlier. Hell, Jaehyun is sitting in his chair rubbing salt on the wound and you are not saying anything upon noticing Mark; it sucked the life out of him. A slug in a bath of salt.
“Sit, I’ll fix your plate.” You smile at him as if nothing had happened in the four walls of the bedroom, your conformity noticeable. By this point he had taken the cold seat he was unfamiliar with. Sitting across from you was not something he was accustomed to, not in his own home at least, but here he was, watching two men who actually do drop everything for you. Two men that were his friends first, cracking jokes just to make you smile and laugh at which you did, enough to hunch over, something you haven't done with him in a while. 
Mark had blocked out the conversation completely, watching your moves and theirs. Your facial expressions and where your hands landed from time to time. That deafness fell when you placed the plate before him. The presentation made it obvious that others had gotten to your food before him. The mixture of ingredients painting the canvas of his plate faster than prior times when he was the first to cut through the masterpiece of your dishes. This time it was tampered and by the looks of Jaehyun’s still neatly moved around plate, he was the one to break through first.
Throughout lunch Mark tried his best to not speak, only replying when spoken to or agreeing in some sense. Things got worse when your cell phone kept buzzing and buzzing uncontrollably on the kitchen counter that made the other two give each other a glance, this time, not gone unnoticed by him and piquing his interest further.
The incessant buzzing continues, enough that Jungwoo sighs before lolling his head to give you a weird look. “Is it that dick?”  
‘Oh?’ Mark thinks to himself, an eyebrow raising as he begins to chew slower. Your glare towards Jungwoo to hush him is futile when Jaehyun joins. “Haven’t you told him to stop bothering you after work?” He sounded angry, the type of rage Mark should have, not Jaehyun. In his mind: Jealousy and that made his feelings worse.
How selfish.
“What dick? What are you guys on about?” Mark was so annoyed and frustrated at this point that venom laced every single one of his words, spraying it as he flayed his hands. Your silence made it worse, more painful was that you did so while Jaehyun and Jungwoo took it upon themselves to explain. The two, immensely tired of you not saying anything, of not speaking up.
Jungwoo goes first, he knows, they work together for Christ’s sake. “What’s his name? Ah, whatever… Y/n’s floor colleague has been bothering her for a while, you should know.” He frustratedly shakes his head, fork digging into his plate without noticing the look Mark throws at you. “Yeah…” He mutters, eyes never leaving you, all knowing he’s lying and upset.
“You should really report him, Y/n-ie.” Jaehyun breaks through, forcing Mark’s neck to snap and look at him. He was just making things worse because all Mark could feel was his lunch rapidly collecting in his throat. Cutlery dropping from his hands.
‘Y/n-ie’?! What an insolent fuck! That’s what Mark thought of Jaehyun. How dare he use a diminutive for you? Who the fuck did he think he was? Not even he, Mark, your husband called you that. What a fucking asshole.
How selfish.
A coward too, he wouldn’t know how to react either way. Instead he revels in your words as a distraction. “My boss seems to like him a lot. The only one getting in trouble would be me.” You sigh, fork moving food around. Mark looked between you and your actions, you noticed him, that you took a few bites to make him stop.
“Why don’t you apply to where we work?” He suggests, chewing what was on his fork, now using it to point between him and Jaehyun. Foolish to not grasp yet how that would mean seeing Jaehyun more and having it rub in his face that even under the same roof you’ll run to him for favors.
You liked the idea, it was easy to notice how much you perked up at the fact that he suggested being together 24/7 no matter the different departments.
Jungwoo had other plans, “Then you’d leave me alone.” He pouts childishly. On other occasions he’d laugh too and call him cute but he doesn’t think he can see Jungwoo as fondly as before. “Move to my floor instead.” He continues to test the waters but is met with a kind giggle and shrug from you.
The afternoon transpired with finishing lunch. Jaehyun had insisted on cleaning the dishes while Jungwoo the pots. Mark on the other hand sat on the couch, eyes often stealing glances on how you interacted with the other two. If you tried to clean, they’d reject the idea and tell you to just go sit and do what Mark is doing: nothing; an obvious jab. 
Ending their visit with discussing the kick-back Johnny was hosting at his place in a few weeks. Something about the Champions or US Open? You’re not sure. You were growing more worried about Mark, that you ended up telling whoever to just text you the deets. They smiled with a nod… and a kiss to your cheek as a goodbye while waving to Mark who perked at the scene. He felt his eyes warm and heavy. Not sure if they were tears beginning to form from jealousy or insecurity. 
You throw him an acknowledging smile while making your way to the bedroom. He stood up, leaving the TV on to follow behind. Before you could open the closet door to fetch something to sleep in, you feel his arms wrap around you. There was desperation to his grab, his hold was rough. Your back hit his chest, feeling his exasperated breath on your neck. Soft kisses at first but nipping soon after to leave his name all over you again, claiming you since it seemed like the others weren’t being repelled.
“Mark?…” You call out, his hands knead your skin. “Why didn’t you tell me?… Why did you keep–” ‘everything’ he wanted to say, “that from me?” 
“Come on–” you intend to plead but he’s not letting it go. “Why?!” He asks exasperatedly against your face while he leaves wet kisses on the skin, pleadingly. “I didn’t want to burden you.” You confess, a whine at the harsh grasp.
“You’re my wife! I need to know these types of things, Y/n. You can’t just keep things from me, how can we be good to– how can it be good for us?” He exclaims; angry and wailing all at once.
‘How can we be good together like this?’ He wanted to say, biting his tongue to not tell truths while sober. Mark didn’t know what it was, but it hurt. He had been thinking about this for weeks. How to ask you overall about the things you’ve hidden from him but now that he has the chance to bring it up, he can’t help but feel resentful and pained. 
Why did you trust Jaehyun and Jungwoo more than him? He’s your husband.
He expected that once married, loyalty would be granted to him no matter what, one way or another. Just like she had granted it to Donghyuck despite how flawed their marital logic was.
Sure, he made things worse but would the universe be cruel enough for him to be in Hyuck’s shoes years later? He deserved it, he knew, something at least, but that ill side of him– what he had learned from her plagues him and demands you to love him unconditionally. To do things on your own without the help of others even when he’s the one to deny you any aid, when he’s at fault.
Mark is miserable and he expects you to be so too… even more than you already are.
Misery loves company.
His hands stopped their harsh kneading, turning you around to look at him. His tired and weary eyes looked straight into yours. But while he felt resentful and confused, you felt odd. Why was he acting like he cared all of the sudden? It was strange and while you appreciated it to an extent, you also hated it.
You weren’t used to it at least, and you weren’t sure if this act would last. You don’t want to admit it but that voice hidden in the vault of your heart loathes him more than anything.
“Okay…” You nod. “I’m sorry. I’ll tell you things more often, yeah?” 
“Please…”
You nod and he nods, pleadingly; he’s not content and neither are you. 
After that discussion, the day transpired as if nothing had happened. He had returned to the living room leaving you to do whatever while he kept his distance. Only answering with hums and nods whenever you come out of the room.
Did you mind? No, it was so normalized it didn’t make you angry anymore. You actually felt like things were back to normal and this was sufficient enough. Mark on the other hand tried everything to ignore how he felt or regulate those emotions since he wasn’t too sure who he was mad with. 
By the time he had figured he was over it, you had fallen asleep alone like all those times he did weeks prior. A warmth filled his chest at the thought. An inkling telling him to wake up before you do the following day just to leave that dissatisfaction you had left in him, not accounting with how disappointed you were with him already that it wouldn’t affect you in the slightest.
He wouldn’t do it, though. Not because he cared enough, but because he wasn’t planning on waking up early to be petty. What he will do is go back to the living room and let his fingers roam like Thing until those crumpled and messy pages sat on his lap and he laid on the couch, stereo system on.
Instantly he’s met with those familiar sharp corners and loops. Numbers, increasing and decreasing significantly. The larger ones bold from rage, the decreasing one's neatly written with smiley faces next to them. He still couldn’t figure out what they meant but he surely enjoyed the recipes you kept adding to the journal and the doodles of how they turned out. Although, he felt that they lacked so much substance.
All of these felt either welcoming or asked that he be eradicated from this earth for the way he’s breaching your privacy, acting like an over controlling strict father despite being your husband. Almost like his dad, but don’t tell him that or he’ll throw a fit. For having lived so many lives, he's surely turning into the worst version of himself.
Through more flipping to see if he missed anything, he came across some interesting notes. All which made his stomach churn and that pride he would once feel, turned to– well, some type of disgust and concern…
‘I’ll do anything for him but every day I’m going insane with tense trials. It’s fine. If I have to go insane to stay with him I will.’
Mark sighs heavily, hands covering his face to soon slide off hoping his flesh would fall with them, groaning to himself.
Fuck, he loved you. In a fucked up way he did but how much could he endure knowing things aren’t fine and dandy? Sure, his first instinct is to try and fix things but there’s also that part that won’t let him strive for any change and it’s winning.
Change hasn’t been the kindest to him in the past. Hell, it’s the reason he’s morphed into what he is now but you accept him this way. That’s what the incessant and pestering part of him told him to let things be and just act like he doesn’t know what you truly are.
He should be glad, no? To know that you love him so much that it’s killing you. Yet, he isn’t. He’s not sure why, maybe because of his deep buried true morality but he has also grown to be selfish and he wants to relish in the glory of your love until you hit a breaking point.
For once he doesn’t want to be a Bernal character and it seems this is where he is slowly breaking that pattern— albeit, he is not enjoying it either. 
Perhaps it was the hour, his growing resentment, anger, and hurt, or he was overstimulated that caused the music in the background to tremble and clog his ears the longer he kept reading. Lists upon lists of things you had to do at work followed by entries on how much longer your hours would run every instance you paid no mind to that dick that the guys described.
Countless entries of your boss calling your attention after that asshole complains. Instances in which, despite how many pictures of Mark you put up in your cubicle, he makes an effort to make them disappear any time you’re not near. On company dinners, Jungwoo and you make it your life’s mission to slither away from the crowd– to be seen but not noticed, enough to not be reprimanded when you’re miles away from danger.
‘Jungwoo mentions in passing every opening in his floor as an incentive to ask for a transfer. Going as far as getting letters of assistance to request my temporary time in the department. Hours to days, they have been great but not everything lasts. With just one foot back inside in my department, the entire mood shifts and it’s back to reality.’
Mark doesn’t understand why his chest aches every time he reads your journal. Perhaps there’s a moderate amount of empathy but he also feels hurt knowing you’re hiding so much from him.
Years worth of things and even if you don’t say it, you make it known you hate the person he is. Mark is sure that if you weren't attached to him like you are, you’d loathe him the way you loathe everyone who has wronged you. He wonders how long it will be until your love runs out and he will finally become one of them.
He shouldn’t expect it but if it happened with Donghyuck who promised to never leave him, of course it can happen with you who he has wronged just as bad as his brother, even if you do everything in your power to prove him wrong. Mark tends to bite the hand that feeds him, if he gnaws for far too long, surely there will be consequences.
03:46, a warm night in 2008… Aggravated and nauseous from making your suffering about himself, Mark dictates that it was enough meddling for the day. Tiresome and bleary-eyed, head thumping achingly with the music debilitating him; Mark stands up frustratedly to turn off Sinead O’Connor angrily screaming ‘you’re a liar’ over and over making him forget about the journal on his lap.
The vegan leather taunts him with its loud thump against the floor, screeching as he picks it up but in the process he drops some notes. “Fuck me!” He curses frantically, knowing you’ll definitely know he’s been snooping when none of these end up where you originally placed them. He starts to panic, he feels his heart race dangerously, his aching head is now spinning, flipping through pages to see where he can put these in, yet in the process he stops.
“Don’t beat yourself up because of him. I’ll always be on your corner and so will Jungwoo. I love you, y/n. – Jaehyunie ♡”
I love you, y/n… Not ‘we love you’ but ‘I. I love you’.
Mark’s blood runs cold, his eyes bulge. In that moment he feels his chest and heart compress, squeezing the life out of him.
This is what Mark’s fears came to. He worried so much about your unconditional love becoming conditional, that the universe allowed him to see the incriminating clue that told him that sooner than later that was to happen. Right?
 ‘Dinner on me today! NO buts! Who else can take care of you if not for Jaehyun and me?! XOXO — Snoops XD.’
The pitch black ink taunts him, questioning how recent or how old these must be. The handwriting felt juvenile with every smooth corner and small bottoms. The top of every letter felt bubbly and messy when connecting. Jaehyun’s could still be neat when messy and for some reason that bothered Mark more.
Unbeknownst to Mark, the papers were crumpling between his shaky fingers. As shaky as his breath restraining whatever he was feeling. ‘Who else can take care of you if not for Jaehyun and me?’ Mark repeats to himself that same question for a hundred more times, each making him more angry. ‘Who else but her husband? Me!’ He wants to yell at the top of his lungs. Drill it in the minds of everyone in your shared circle. He was capable of taking care of you!
But being capable doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t nor put effort into doing so.
No, Mark didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to jump into conclusions of infidelity or anything down that rabbit hole. He knew you wouldn’t do it. He wants to think that, he wants to believe it. You’re literally ruining yourself for him, so why would you do all that to throw it all away? Regardless, he can’t swallow the lump in his throat. 
He also once thought him and Hyuck would be in each other’s lives until they died. It later turned into him believing Hyuck would fade into the shadows of this earth and not ever see him because she would be his, choosing him, but that didn’t happen. In fact it was the opposite. He also didn’t become the renowned artist he was in his college years with a list full of connections that left him when he fell from grace. 
He didn’t end up thriving in the studio where he was meant to start over and is now in a dead-end design engineering job because of his father and his connections, not Mark’s. Did he know anything about it going in? He knew the word design but oh god how far can connections go if he landed something like that.
Even you, he met you because of his father, and the bells of the life he avoided for years rang incessantly letting him know no one can run from their faith. No matter how hard they try.
It didn’t matter if he was or wasn’t in Hyuck’s shoes, it only mattered that he now knew how much pain Hyuck was going through seeing his wife rejoice in the care and love of men he considered friends. That and the fact that he was making your unraveling all about himself, at least they can share that too.
He couldn’t understand how you acted so peaceful and put together when during lunch he’d visit the cafes you frequented with Jungwoo and found you the same as the first time. Exasperated, vexed, and angry with a cigarette between your fingers when you two were to leave.
A chuckle on his lips remembering all the times you pestered him to quit smoking because you wanted him for many years to come. Now he’s not sure if you want to be with him as much, no matter how many times you write about it.
“You’re still a liar, you’re still a liar, you’re still a liar!”
Monday rolled around in which Mark swore to not allow Jungwoo another lunch date with you. Furthering his selfishness and restricting your moments of relief so he could take that time up. You wouldn't mind, right? It’s him after all…
It goes to say that when he stepped through the ample threshold of your floor with a cute little bag in his hand and some drinks in the other, that confusion crossed your mind before that thought was pushed back by adoration. 
“What are you doing here?” You ask with a warm smile. You felt like a child whose parents never showed up for any activities but this one. That childish glee and relief of knowing that you are loved. “Can’t pay my wife a visit?” Mark retaliates with a cheeky smile, leaning in to give you a short but sweet kiss.
You want to say it felt like when you first began dating. So sweet, tender, and soft. How he was before you married and his facade fell, showing how dependent he was. His small acts of love come through.
You want to believe it so bad that you’re willing to push back the tiny voice in your head trying to force you to question what he wanted out of you if he was willing to visit you this far.
“Well yeah,” You giggle in an effort to leave your desk. “Come, let’s go to the rooftop.” Your hand takes a hold of his wrist, pulling him along until that incessant blob of human flesh presents itself right in front of you both, blocking the way. 
“Well look at that. Your husband, right? Didn’t think you’d like the soft ones…” A mocking grin slapped on his face, arms crossed against his chest. He wasn’t much taller than Mark but he sure was confident to take a step closer to you both. Mark opts to carry all bags in one hand, twisting his wrist to hold your hand rather than you him.
You sigh, looking for ways to respond but Mark doesn’t give you time, walking around him with you in front, ignoring any calls from him to go back for a conversation. Such an insufferable man, Mark was aware but to you, this moment, you were still treating it like one of your earlier dates. His attentiveness and courage of protecting you. You missed that Mark and any resentment from marrying him faded for now.
“That’s him?” Mark breaks the silence, the walk to the rooftop consisting of him complaining from these few seconds they met. If he thought this much from only that timeframe, you wonder how long he would have lasted in your shoes. 
You responded to his complaints with nods and hums, taking a seat across from him on the bistro table. He laid back on the chair relaxed, if it wasn’t for his babbling one would think he wasn’t really affected.
“And, I mean, he’s such a dick.” He groans, sitting up straight, his roll of eyes halting upon noticing you pick at one half of the sandwich. 
Mayo wiped off, pickles on the bundle of used napkins, the turkey they touched on top of them, chunks of old avocado added to the tower. “What are you doing? Why are you picking at your food all of the sudden?” He leans against the table, elbows on the glass to be closer to you. In that instance, you stop your actions, looking at him through lashes before raising your head.
“Mark, I don't like these. I thought you knew by now…”
Fuck.
“No, yeah, I know. I’m sorry…” His hand leaves his chin, stretching it to hold yours. “Sorry, I forgot to check the order at the cafe, I didn’t want traffic to get me.” You smile at him, he smiles at you. You know he’s lying but it’s the thought that counts. “Plus, I think I came at the perfect time. Imagine I had come later and he had bothered you more?” His fingers squeeze yours, a little too hard if you say so. 
He’s received with a shrug. “He’s a dick, like you said.” You giggle softly, pulling your hand away to wipe them with another napkin. “He doesn’t react like that with Jaehyun, though. Does everything to avoid him.” Your head tilts, reassembling the sandwich to presentability. 
“Jaehyun?” You gave him that same look as when he questioned you seconds earlier, except it was softer and almost incriminating. You didn’t mean it in any form, more casually but after his findings, Mark can’t say he’s too happy with this information.
“Oh, well, when you can’t bring what I ask you to, I… sometimes ask Jae. So, they've met before…” Your gaze lowers, taking the other sandwich half onto your hands. “I think he’s scared of Jae, to be honest.” You giggle in attempts to break whatever tension you felt from your husband.
‘Jae, Jae, Jae. Christ, what a broken record.’ Mark thought, an urge to roll his eyes at the mention of his coworker. For fucks sake, he was the last thing he wanted to think about or even see. The only reason he saw him today was because of work but that should be it. He shouldn’t be hearing or thinking about his name here with you. Let alone hear it coming from you, his wife.
Stretching your hand towards him, you smile. “Here, eat the other half. These are huge on their own.” He took it, lunch soured by your incessant need to bring up Jaehyun and that dickhead from earlier.
Was this how he was paid? Making an effort to be a good husband just to have things be thrown in his face?
Lunch ended not too long after, he was on his own lunch break after all. It goes to say that his drop off and goodbye bid seemed lackluster in comparison to his greeting.
“Um, and don’t forget to file a floor change.” He gave you a tired smile and a quick kiss. It was the last thing he said to you while fixing any pictures of you two on your desk —three missing now— before heading towards the elevator. 
Like an act of a malice-meaning demon, when reaching the twelfth floor, the doors yanked themselves open like a grand introduction to a world renowned boxer or an all-show wrestler, showcasing that smug pug-faced asshole. A silent chuckle upon placing himself next to Mark who slumped against the railing and mirror walls.
Mark greeted him with a huff, head lolling similar to his eyes. The feeling got worse when he heard him blubbering, “At first I thought that the other guy was her boyfriend. You know, tall, dimples; suits her better.” He nods to himself, egging Mark’s ringing ears.
Here they went again. Bringing Jaehyun into every conversation. It’s made worse knowing that this idiot felt even Jaehyun could be your partner. That no matter how many images of Mark you display, to the world only Jae was good enough for you. Because he’s the only one who shows up.
“He seems like an actual man or that guy from the floor below. The orange haired one, a little weird but he surely goes out of his way to not let me have some fun for the day.” He laughs, snorting at his abhorrence. He turns to Mark, swallowing that disgusting lump of mucus in his throat, hand itching to come in contact with Mark’s smooth cheek. A pat of mockery. “She’s doing charity work with you.” 
Ironic, Mark would say. Ironic that he thinks you’re doing charity work with him when this idiot was never an afterthought. The older man insists on glaring at Mark, not letting their gazes drop, seeking any response from Mark even when the elevator rings, letting them know they’ve hit the garage lobby. He felt victorious feeling as if he had struck a nerve when Mark hopped off without a peep. Only for his triumph to be shut down shortly after.
“No wonder she has never mentioned you before. You’re repulsive to even think about and a sorry excuse for a man.”
A disgusted scowl replaced Mark’s poker face, glaring at the once mocking jackass whose face had sagged, shock turning into anger that he didn’t know how to express before the doors closed, making his target disappear from view.
Mark might have felt great in the moment but things could only go worse for you. He didn’t think about the consequences of his actions. He never did. He didn’t think about how it would affect you at work and the repercussions you faced for the weeks to come. Mark hadn’t processed he was at fault until your journal became frantic, pages with holes from how hard you wrote on them. Crumpled from the anger you couldn’t express besides abusing those pages.
He didn’t notice because he was indulging amongst the side notes and words highlighted with your tears about how scared you were of losing him. Your quick remarks on how you felt him pulling away or acting odd. Imploring to whichever higher being to not take him from you if that was the case. While you’re wallowing in the pits of your sadness hoping he won’t leave you, Mark enjoys the feeling of warmth seeing your desperation.
It meant you loved him, right? With how things were going on with Jaehyun, Mark took any crumb of your love that only felt real when you wrote about it. It’s hard to understand why he didn’t feel it was real when it came from your lips but it did when you confessed to the things you’ve put yourself through for him. For him, not Jaehyun, him, Mark. That felt like love.
Right, only on paper it felt like love. Not like now that you found yourself in Johnny’s kitchen with Jaehyun next to you like a guard dog, chewing your ear off with whatever he was saying despite your look of anguish. A worrying look to Mark and the likes of his— well, your friend it seems.
He had been enjoying the final match with Johnny, Yanyang, and the other coworkers they shared. You had been sitting by his side for most of it but it wasn’t until a few minutes ago that Jaehyun pulled you aside, asking for your help to make some drinks for the rest of the guests but now he was holding you hostage, begging you to drink some water.
Mark figured the drinks you had were getting to you and Jaehyun could tell. He won’t say he’s fond of that fact. That Jaehyun knows you well to the point he can tell when you need to be cut off.
Mark tried not making it obvious but when only his head isn’t turned to the TV and the host is making sure his guests are having a good time, well it’s hard to miss. Johnny notices it too, how Jaehyun was fixing you a slider, the words: “You haven’t eaten well, stop trying to fool me.” sternly spewing from his mouth.
No mayo, no pickles, no condiments at all. Just a plain cheeseburger slider. He knew how you liked it by heart and that’s something that makes Mark’s heart pound in hate.
The feeling becomes worse when your whispering turns frantic and almost audible for the rest to hear. Your words whining like you wanted to cry about how hellish work has become after Mark’s visit. Jaehyun shakes his head, hands pressing against the counter to lean against with an angry look on his face. That infamous look of hollow cheeks and sunken dead eyes. He wanted to say something but knew it was best to be a shoulder to lean on.
“And don’t tell me to talk to him about it because what’s the use?! You know how he is. I love him, I do but—” Your hands come in contact with your forehead, shaking it a bit, “Why can’t he just be a tad bit like you?…” You hiccuped, hands slowly sliding down to your mouth as you shut your eyes. It wasn’t a sign of regret but exhaustion, vile stuck in your throat. 
Jaehyun’s face softened, standing up straight to turn to you. To some form of comfort, his hand extends to rub your back, pulling you in for a side hug while you try to hold in whatever you feel. Jaehyun understands your words come from a place of hurt but confessions like that can be taken wrongly.
“Why can’t he be just a tad bit like you?...” Just like Mark had, who now felt his heart shatter. Disillusioned and hurt, stupid for thinking that you would want him no matter what. Worse off, it was Jaehyun who you confessed that to. Someone that everyone thought was a better fit for you.
I’m sorry I’m the one you love. No one will ever love me like you again.
Johnny took it upon himself to raise the volume of the TV, sparing Mark from any more anguish and saving your business to be heard by the other guests who by the graces of God were more interested in who would win the Stanley Cup this season.
His attempts didn’t work. Mark felt his world crashing down on him in this instance. He wanted to go out and scream, cry even, at the reviving memories flashing through his head. He’s seen this before— no, he’s experienced this.
Her cries to him about Hyuck to soon commence their affair in that same instance. If that was to happen in these walls, Mark thinks it’s his time to take a leap out of Johnny’s apartment balcony.
So when you leave me, I should die. I deserve it, don’t I? I can feel it getting near.
The vile stuck in your throat had been persistent on coming out, enough to push Jaehyun out of the way to run towards Johnny’s bathroom. It’s amazing how enthralled with the game his guests were to not notice anything happening behind them. To not feel Mark’s radiating poison as he watches his wife and ‘friend’ rush towards the bathroom, door slamming behind him. If it wasn’t for Jeno’s and Yangyang’s cheering scream, they would hear you hurl the slider into the toilet bowl, crying along with self-disgust.
Mark couldn’t hold it in anymore; abruptly he stands, ignoring Johnny’s sympathetic look. Not only for him but for you too, aware of Mark’s own flaws. He had thoughts of barging in and blowing Jaehyun’s ear off with his barking. Questioning you about what was going on, but he slowed down when he heard you hiccup and cry before and after vomiting. Jaehyun’s soothing hushes to you making his head spin but innocent enough.
Innocent until he opened his mouth. “Shh, it’s okay. Let it out, it’s okay, pretty girl.” Jaehyun coos into Mark’s eardrum through a megaphone to imprint the notes of his voice onto his brain. 
Pretty girl. That’s his pet name for you, Mark’s pet name. Hurt floods him when you make no effort to correct him and present this fact.
Since when have you become someone else’s pretty girl?
He couldn’t take it any longer, angrily slamming the door open to watch Jaehyun soothing you with backrubs, holding your hair as you went.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” Mark spits out venom, mimicking that of a cobra. His eyes widened by hot fury as he approached you two. You wanted to speak, but the invasion from your gut stopped you, tears being the only thing you were able to respond with.
Jaehyun on the other hand gives him a look as if to tell him to calm down, that everything was fine, more worried about your well being than Mark’s insecurities. “Just helping her out, calm down.”
It aggravated him how collected Jaehyun’s words were, how little mind he paid him or how you made no effort to have Jaehyun stop giving you supportive squeezes (almost like you weren’t fighting for your life).
Mark huffs, hands taking purchase on his waist watching you two, the volume to the television and the guests drawn out by your heaving. He whispers, walking towards Jaehyun with that same menacing look– eye roll worthy, Jaehyun would say.
“I just fucking heard you, she’s my wife. What the fuck are you trying to do?” His finger rose to poke at Jaehyun’s shoulder. The taller one of the two feeling offended by Mark’s accusations and thoughts that he’d snake him like that. Jaehyun was not Mark.
“Sorry, that’s on me,” Jaehyun slaps Mark’s hand away, creating some distance. “I'm just helping her—” “Back the fuck off, she’s my wife…” 
Tired enough by this facade, Jaehyun scowls at Mark, pushing past him towards the door. “Then don’t be a shitty husband and she won’t have to seek other people to do what you can’t! I know how to respect marriages well enough, if anything I’m just helping her. Something you should do for once in your fucking life.”
Jaehyun bites back, watching Mark’s face falter as he slams the door behind him while you continue your sobbing. Overwhelmed by your bodily reaction but mostly for what just ensued in this room. With no form to defend yourself and Jaehyun. Hurt that Mark thought you two would betray him like he’s done to those before you.
You believe me like a God, I’ll betray you like a man.
In that instance Mark wanted to run to Jaehyun and gouge his eyes out, rip his stupid freshly bleached hair out, and beat him until he was nothing else than liquid matter. The words rang horribly inside his head to the point he was seeing red, his vision blurred and stars were floating in his eyes.
History was repeating itself and he was finally paying his wrong doings. He thought Jungwoo and Jaehyun were his friends but Hyuck thought the same of him and now he’s found himself in this predicament.
You're sweet, you're lovely. You go out of your way to make Mark happy so it was him all along. He's the problem and karma is finally making him pay the price.
Jaehyun understood it was his fault for being careless and using pet names but can one blame him when he was worried? Someone has to if not the one who bowed to do so. Even when he’s gone from eye sight, Jaehyun’s efforts are felt through Johnny who knocks on the door. Mark opens it slightly, Johnny standing before him with a glass of water and baking soda. Telling him about how Jaehyun sent him before leaving; for you to swish your mouth with this and drink some sparkling water to soothe your stomach ache.
Mark took it without a word, nodding at Johnny before shutting the door in his face as if this wasn’t his home. You were up on your feet by the time Mark turned around, lid closed as you flushed the toilet, reaching the sink to rinse your mouth before taking the glass from his hand. No words from either of you.
He looked at you through the mirror, arms crossed and factions softening upon noticing how tired and sick you looked. Gauntly, lips and eyes puffed out, and cheeks streaked. It was best to go home after that incident, only giving Johnny an apologetic goodbye while the rest of the guests paid no mind. On your end you were out of the apartment already, embarrassment laced on your face. 
And even through the car ride, all you could think about was Mark’s words and actions. Memories of Mark smugly telling his ex-best friend words Jaehyun spat at him flooded his vision, making it dangerous for him to be driving. To his side you grunted in discomfort, feeling as if vile was to rise from you again but he paid you no mind, made no effort to comfort you, more focused on his own feelings.
The look Hyuck had on his face eight years ago was the one Mark mirrors this night. One way or another one will pay for all their sins and you were his cross.
He didn’t talk to you for the remainder of the night. Didn’t care enough to question why you fell ill or how frightened you were about the possibility that this may be it, that this was his excuse to leave you behind.
The thoughts, his actions and words clouding your mind through your shower, skin care routine, and brushing your teeth. Spending minutes upon minutes doing the latter, disgusted by yourself. Brushing away all the vile you wanted to throw at him but instead ended down Johnny’s plumbing. For only Jaehyun to hear and understand.
Mark laid down on his side by the time you came out of the bathroom. You knew he was angry, his stiff body making no effort to move even when feeling the bed sink under your knees. He tried not to move when he felt your arms wrap around him seeking comfort in his warmth, but Mark wasn’t willing to give it to you. Without a care if he hurt you, which is what he did.
“Why don’t you love me anymore?”
Your words made his eyes open. Startled, his body hardens under your touch, almost like your upcoming tears were freezing him on the spot. Damp on his sleeping shirt but hot on his back. He turns abruptly, pushing back a bit in the process. “What are you even ta—”
“Why don’t you love me anymore?!” You cut him off, voice raising to something he’s never heard before. “You’ve been so distant. More than usual and I can’t take it anymore!” Your palms cover your eyes, pushing back tears, forbidding you to look at that mocking grin on his face as he shakes his head in disbelief. 
You’re the one who grows distant when I beckon you near.
His voice on the other hand makes sure you know how he feels. “You think so? I think this is the closest I’ve been to you.” He chuckles, taking into account that look of confusion on your face as you put down your hands, resting them on your lap. “Why don’t you tell me anything, Y/n? You tell Jungwoo everything. You ask Jaehyun to do everything for you. I’m your husband, why don't you don’t you trust me enough?” 
Your confusion falls, disgust and anger replace it. “When I ask anything out of you, you never want to nor know how to do it.” Your voice was hurt, head shaking a tad with every syllable, hate laced into each one. He hated how much your reaction resembled Jaehyun’s.
He doesn’t want to admit you’re right, “You ask the most absurd of favors.” He scoffs, sitting up to be face to face with you. “Are you fucking serious? You’re a grown man who can’t cook or clean for himself. Up until I saw you at the bakery I thought you didn’t know where it was but then I saw you with another girl there.” You huff, arms flailing like when you’re with Jungwoo. 
There would be some satisfaction in him to know your true self is here talking with him but bringing old news made him groan. “I thought you said it was fine and we’d drop it there.” He takes into account the glare you’re throwing him, smoke coming out of your ears the longer neither of you speak.
If he had known a few drinks would do this to you, he would have not let you drink. The thing is, Mark pays no mind to you to not notice you’ve drank mocktails all night. He was more worried about Jaehyun than you.
“It’s not fine when you’re with some other girl to a place you keep avoiding when I ask you to go. Is it because of her? Is she the one taking my place now?” Your voice came out choppy, acheful, with the question, inhaling and exhaling to calm yourself down.
He on the other hand doesn’t take it kindly, annoyed that you’d think about him that way but that's what he’s been thinking about you, so what difference does it make? It would not be his first rodeo, so are you that insane to think of him like that?
I’ll betray you like a man.
Mark stands from the bed, crouching to eye-level with you as if you were a child he’s lecturing. “It’s not because of her, I don’t give a fuck about her! I barely know her, she is just an intern, and hasn't been there for a month now! We were sent by my boss!” His fingers poke his temple, in a form to tell you to get it through your head.
“But I’m right? You don’t love me anymore.”
Mark stands up straight in disbelief with your words despite none defending his case coming from his own mouth. He could see how your heart was crushing with every passing second.
The truth is hiding in your eyes and it’s hanging on your tongue. Just boiling in my blood. 
“All this time I thought you were calm… level headed— but you're the opposite... you don’t talk to me, you tell Jaehyun and Jungwoo everything. Why can’t you tell me everything? Why can't you need and trust me?” His voice softens, calming down.
“Because you don’t ever want to listen to me! I can’t need you when you do everything in your power for me not to!” Truth is, he did know how to clean and cook for himself, he's done it before but he's grown selfish and dependent.
Your outburst left him speechless, all the sighs he had to give stuck and dispersed through every crevice of his interior, poisoning his flow. He knows you’re right but he doesn’t want to believe it.
“I give and give and give but I never receive! I love you so much, it's become so painful that I rather let it slide than be far from you.” You crawl closer to the edge of the bed, hoping to minimize the distance between you two. The feeling of proximity only seems to feel farther, leaving room for a blizzard to rest between you two.
Mark knows he’s not man enough, your coworker said it. He knows he doesn’t help or take care of you, Jaehyun and Jungwoo told him so. None of these men had to tell him for him to know he doesn’t deserve you. It just so happens to be that Mark is selfish and wasn’t able to process it until now. He swore he believed you through writing but now, with you telling him directly— reality is forcing itself upon him.
“I think we should take a break.”
Selfish, selfish, selfish.
“What?” You ask confused and startled, looking up at him with fury in your eyes. “What? Don’t be fucking stupid. We’re married and we’ll stay this way! It's not as easy as you let out, asshole.” You sniffle, getting off the bed now, approaching him despite the gap he’s formed between you two. In all senses. 
“You’re just not who I fell in love with anymore.”
You wanted to rip his hair out, claw his skin and inject your pain and love into him so he could understand what you felt. You knew he was selfish but how fucking stupid could he be? 
“You’re so— you’re no fucking better than anyone else. You fell in love with the idea you made of me. Whatever the fuck that is! Any chance you get to see the real me you shut me down, Mark! Why can’t you just love me?! Not the stupid girl you thought I was.”
Your cries stopped, hands taking purchase on his arms, squeezing tighter with the adrenaline of wrath coursing through your veins. You were tired, tired of his foolishness and in times like these, you weren’t going to let him ruin what you’ve built.
“You fell in love with an idealized version of me too, if you’re still this in love.” Mark gulps, making no effort to move but his eyes felt heavy and tired. Hurt even, not sure if for himself or for you, empathy winning for once. Pity sounds better.
You think that I can’t see what kind of man that you are. If you’re man at all.
“I see you for who you fucking are. You’re selfish, you don’t want to do things for others unless you’re getting something out of it. You weaponize your incompetence for me to do things for you. You’re insecure especially with other men around me because you think of yourself exactly the opposite as them unless they’re more pathetic compared to you.” Your finger poked his chest, reminiscing on how he began berating Jaehyun.
“You’re especially jealous of your friends because they offer more for me than you do and that’s your fault.  You project your insecurities and mistakes onto them and me because you’re a bad friend, husband, and ultimately a bad person. Yet I’m still with you because I love you— even with everything you put me through and how you can’t help but compare me to— to her! Get over it and through your head, that was loneliness and you were the easiest victim. No one leaves their husband for someone they don't love.”
Like the pathetic man he was, he broke down. No amount of swallowing and gulping down the knot in his throat would go away. Tears streamed down his cheeks upon hearing you project onto the world what you had whispered to the toilet bowl earlier. Mark wasn’t aware that you knew about Hyuck and her but he wouldn’t doubt if you had come across letters from them both in the past just like he came across your journals. 
Having you voice what he had been thinking about since that experience caused his world to finally see true color, despite you being purposely vicious. He knew what that fling meant for her, for Hyuck, and for him. It just so happens that it meant more for him and here he was taking it out on the only person who has stuck by his side.
You loved him but you also hated him and that was more than clear to him now.
“Better reason for us to take a break. You deserve better… I’m sorry I’m the one you love. No one will ever love me like you again.” He sighs, sniffling, throwing his head back to not let any more tears shed. 
“I don’t care. If I go without you I’ll—I…” you clinging your nails to his shoulders trying to cut off your words. You knew what you wanted to say wasn’t healthy, not for you and not for him. Mark knows this, weeks of reading your entries allowing him to understand what goes within the walls of your brain. 
"Y/n please stop... you’re hurting me." It doesn't change the fact that feeling it was worse than reading it. “Then you’re a coward who would die within an hour in my shoes if I treated you the way you treat me.” You sternly and ferociously spit. He wails before doing the only thing he knew would calm you down. 
Leaning in, he kisses you, meekly. Pouring in the love he once had for you and the remaining he has now. But your body rejects it, feeling how phony it is. Pushing him off, running to the restroom to repeat the happenings of earlier. Mark sighs in relief to have you not corner him but in this instance concern floods him.
He follows you to the bathroom, standing by the door frame with crossed arms. Watching you hold your hair like Jaehyun had done earlier. Tears back in your eyes as you continue to lash out your rage against the white porcelain that's witnessed this on other occasions. Although this was one that should symbolize happiness, yet it’s clear you both won’t take it as such.
Mark took a look at his watch, 11:28PM. “Come on, get your shoes. I’ll take you to urgent care, you probably just need some electrolytes.” He approaches you, aiming to help you up but you resist, shaking your head defeatedly. 
“I’m not drunk.” You let out through gritted teeth. “No?” He questions smugly, annoyed at your rejection. “They were mocktails. These are normal symptoms.” He gives you a quizzical look. “Look in the drawer, Nancy Drew.” You huff, mocking him for his detective work these past weeks. It was only natural he’d find out eventually if he kept meddling in your journals.
With furrowed eyes, and look remaining, Mark pulls at the white drawer, the cold metal burning his warm hand. He digs and digs through piles of papers. All bills or old letters neither of you cared enough for. Reaching the bottom Mark feels something solid wrapped around a newer piece of paper. In comparison to the yellowing pages, this was white and bright, tied with a rubber band around the solid material.
He throws you a quick glance while taking it into his hands, unraveling the rubber to open it and come to view with three sticks, all with matching two-pink stripes. Any ounce of hope to restart is gone with the weight in his hands. Disappearing when he read the paper.
‘Laboratory report Patient: Y/n Lee. Sampled collected: May 15, 2008. Report date: May 20, 2008 Status: Pregnant Gestational age: 5-8 weeks.’
Mark reads it over and over, finally having the courage to look at you. His eyes wide and dim, reflecting on your cold angry ones. This was it. It was his life. What you would have taken as a beautiful moment, you can now agree this seals your faith. The look you gave him mirroring his misery. At least now you both were on board for once, basking in the fact this was a deadend no matter what.
You both know nothing will get fixed, all there is left is to pretend for the life that’s growing within you. Wreckless as ever, and the cycle of life continues. An innocent life to suffer the trails of a failed relationship for years to follow. That’s all Mark knows, that’s all you know. Generational curses don't end with either of you.
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if you liked happy together: it’s too bad you’re married… to me, you’ll enjoy: stupid girl !
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taglist: @haknyeonsju @seungjiseyo @theskzvibe @wonyofanclub @lovingvoidgoatee
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planted in your garden | joel miller x f!reader
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main masterlist
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summary: joel has always shown his love for you through flowers, and now it's your turn to do the same word count: 1k warnings: 18+ only, reader has tattoos & is shorter than joel, joel being soft & lovey-dovey & just the best in general, bit of spiciness at the end a/n: written for @morallyinept's Fauna & Flora Challenge ❤️ not beta’d or any of that jazz, please enjoy :)
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If there’s one thing you know about Joel Miller, it’s that he will always find a reason to buy you flowers, no need for a special occasion. It’s been a long hard week and I wanted to get you something, saw these pretty flowers and thought of my pretty girl, got them just because I love you. Whether it’s an entire bouquet or just a few wild stems tied together by a ribbon, you’re sure he’s given you more flowers than you’ve received in your entire life.
It started on your birthday — you told him you hadn’t planned anything because you didn’t want a big fuss and it wasn’t a number worth celebrating, and he insisted on bringing you dinner so you wouldn’t have to spend the evening on your own. Every number is worth celebrating, it means you’ve been around another whole year. You were floored when he showed up on your doorstep, pizza boxes in one hand and a bunch of red and pink tulips in the other.
“Saw the ink on your arm there and just assumed they were your favourite. None of the stores ever have anything fresh or pretty enough, so I just cut these from my back garden.”
Joel Miller. Cut red and pink tulips for you. From his own garden.
You’d only known each other a few weeks at that stage, and he’d been more observant in that short time than any other man you’d met. At first, you didn’t read into it too much, he’s just doing something nice for you. You told yourself it didn’t matter that this ‘something nice’ was the single nicest thing anyone ever did for you.
You ate your takeout pizzas and talked for hours that night, record player on in the background, sharing stories of years gone by and remembering the person you each used to be. A few stray tears even slipped down your cheek at one point — Joel moved to sit close next to and almost on instinct you rested your head on his shoulder. It was oddly comforting knowing just how vulnerable you could be around him. He was a kind soul, a rather rare find in today’s world, and you found it surprisingly easy to open up to him.
You asked him for a hug that night and he wrapped his arms around you, holding you firmly against him, his chin resting on the top of your head and it was the safest you felt in years. Of course, and next time you don’t have to ask. You smiled into him, letting out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding. He eventually pulled back to check on you and planted a hand on your waist; he bid you goodnight with a wink, called you sweetheart and went home, leaving you standing like an idiot, mouth hanging open in a daze and still feeling the heat that had radiated off his palm and the grip of his fingers through your shirt on your skin.
‘Sweetheart’ played in your mind over and over for hours, days, weeks after that — soon enough you acknowledged that you weren’t immune to his charms and you’ve never looked back.
The flowers aren’t only for you to enjoy — you noticed early on that Joel takes great pride in his garden. The lawn always mowed, flower beds always with manicured edges, bees and butterflies in abundance. You’ve spent many hours lounging in the sun just admiring him, your book long abandoned — temples and greying curls damp with sweat, t-shirt clinging to his arms and back, gym shorts showing him off deliciously, all while he potters around tending to his garden, refilling a bird bath, touching up the fence and spewing out endless plant facts.
He even expanded the bed of tulips, planting bulbs of different varieties and an array of colours — ones with frilly edges, ones with pointed petals, and even blooms that look almost hand-painted in their beauty. He told you he’d been planning this for months, long before he met you, but you knew that part of him was doing this for you, too.
Late one night he finally told you the red and pink of your birthday flowers represented eternal love and affection, and sheepishly admitted he only remembered that once he’d already knocked on your door. He had hoped you wouldn’t ask him the meanings that night and figured there must’ve been someone looking out for him when you simply accepted them with a dazzling smile and that twinkle in your eyes. He wonders how things might have played out differently if you had asked him that night.
Now it’s Joel’s birthday and you want to do something special for him — so here you are, lying underneath him in a matching set, simple and white and covered in daisies. Propped up by his elbows, he traces over a flower right in the centre of your bra.
“You gonna tell me anything about them?”
“Daisies supposedly represent innocence and purity…” His voice fades off as he trails his fingers featherlight across you, goosebumps rising in his wake. With a faint smile pulling at his lips, he lifts his gaze to look you in the eye. “But something tells me you already knew that.”
He leans to kiss you, tongue licking into your mouth and you feel him pressed against your core, thick and heavy. You spread your legs wider to accommodate him and he grinds his hips into you, your fingers raking through his hair and tugging ever so slightly. He pulls back and starts snaking a hand down between you, now taken by the same applique daisies on your panties.
“Not sure those words apply right now, though,” he whispers to you, knuckles grazing the fabric.
“What, ‘innocence and purity’? You don’t think that’s true about daisies?”
“I ain’t talkin’ bout the daisies, sweetheart.” He smirks at you and you simply grin at him and huff a laugh in response as he shuffles down your body to pull your panties down your legs.
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comments & reblogs are hugely appreciated, forehead kisses to all 💜
dividers by @saradika-graphics
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munsonsmixtapes · 2 days
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I Can Help With That
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rockstar!Eddie x bestie!fem!virgin!reader
summary: Eddie catches you reading fanfiction about him and decides to let your experience the real thing
cw: MDNI (18+) smut (p in v) fingering, oral (f receiving)
not proofread!
It wasn’t a secret that you had a huge crush on your best friend Eddie. You had been in love with him since you were kids and everyone knew. Well, everyone except Eddie, but he wasn’t exactly the most observant so you couldn’t blame him.
And you didn’t want him to know anyway. That was something you were going totally take to your grave. The whole thing was just so embarrassing for you and he definitely wasn’t the commitment kind of guy anyway. He usually just fucked women and let them leave, not wanting any attachment to them.
You supposed you couldn’t blame him since he was always traveling and didn’t have time for a relationship. And hey, the guy was only human. What was he supposed to do? Be surrounded by a bunch of beautiful women and not sleep with them when they offered?
You honestly weren’t sure how you came across it. You were just browsing the internet, looking to read about someone else when his name popped up. You were curious to say the least. You had no idea that people even wrote about Eddie in that way and thought it was hilarious, so obviously, you had to read it.
Then it got to the point where you were reading it every day, trying to find the best one to show him. What started out as a joke actually became not as much when you were actually enjoying what you were reading. You started imagining what it would have been like to actually be with him and it was getting out of hand.
You sat at your computer, another fanfiction pulled up and this one was different from the others. It wasn’t no longer soft and sweet. It was dirty. It was sexual with everything described on the page. You had read that kind of stuff before, but not about Eddie. Not about your best friend.
You were really getting into when you heard the door to your room open. You quickly minimized the page and turned to Eddie who looked almost unreal like always. With his leather jacket over his white t-shirt which was tucked into a pair of very ripped jeans that gave you a perfect view of his perfect thighs that you desperately wanted to get your hands on.
“What were you doing?” He asked, suspicious and you just put on a smile, trying to play it off.
“Nothing,” you shrugged, but Eddie just made a beeline for you. He spun your chair around and moved his hand to the mouse but you got there quicker, closing out the page completely.
“Oh, you silly girl,” he laughed. “You seemed to have forgotten that I can see your browser history.” He reached for the mouse and you grabbed it, holding it out of his reach as you rolled your chair away, the back of it eventually hitting the wall.
Eddie stepped over to you, resting his hands on the arm rests as he leaned so close to you that you could smell his breath. He looked like he was leaning in and you closed your eyes in anticipation only to open them and find Eddie at the computer, opening the last tab you had opened. You rolled your chair over, accepting defeat as you covered your face in embarrassment.
Eddie was a little shocked when he opened the page, but honestly wasn’t surprised. You read smut all the time. But wait a minute, was that his name? There it was again! You were reading smut about him? Since when?
“Why are you reading fanfiction about me?” The question wasn’t accusatory, more curious than anything.
“I was going to read about someone else, but then I saw your name and got curious. And then I was so determined to find one to read to you, but none of them seemed good enough.” Eddie knew he should’ve been weirded out, but he honestly just thought it was funny.
“So you’ve read these before?” He turned his face back towards the screen to read a little more.
“Yes,” you nodded. “But none like this, though.”
“Right,” he winked. “Of course not. But you like these though, huh?”
“I mean, I don’t know.” You did. Maybe a little too much.
“Do they get you hot?” His question caught you off guard, making you blush.
“What?”
“I bet they make you wet, huh?” How did he know that? It was as if he was psychic.
“Well-”
“Relax, babe. I’m just kidding.” You let out a sigh of relief. You’d die of embarrassment if he had actually been asking you that.
“Oh.”
“Unless they do actually make you wet.” You were so embarrassed that you didn’t know what to do with yourself.
“Um, maybe a little.” He just chuckled and leaned forward so his lips were right by your ear.
“Sweetheart, if you wanted to do this kind of stuff with me, all you had to do was ask.” His tone was teasing, but there was a hint of truth to his words.
“Really?” You didn’t quite believe him.
“Sure. Why read it when you have the real thing right here?”
“Eddie, this isn’t funny. If you’re going to make fun of me, I’d rather you just leave.”
“I’m not making fun of you. I’d love to give you the real thing if you’d let me.” He was being serious. He was actually offering to have sex with you and actually seemed enthusiastic about it. Was this all just some very real dream you had entered?
“You would?”
“If you want to.”
“I don’t know,” you shook your head. “I’ve just-I’ve never done anything before,” you reminded him and he just nodded.
“That’s okay. We don’t have to.” He stood up, but you grabbed his hand, preventing him from leaving.
“Please fuck me!” Your words came out much more needy than you intended and Eddie just looked at you with wide eyes before a smile broke out on his face.
“As long as you’re sure.”
“I’m sure,” you nodded.
“And you can back out at any point.”
“I know.” He bent over the chair, his hands gripping the arm rests again. His face was so close to yours that you could make out every single detail. God, he was beautiful.
“Can I kiss you?” He whispered and you nodded.
“Yes,” you responded, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. Eddie reached up and pulled your lip from your teeth with his thumb and let it settle back into place before, leaning in, pressing a featherlight peck to your lips before pulling away.
“What was that?”
“Relax,” he laughed. “I’m just warming you up.” He leaned in again and pressed another peck to your lips. Another. Another until he slotted his lips between yours, capturing them in the softest, sweetest kiss.
Assuming that he was uncomfortable leaning over like that, you stood up from the chair and wrapped your arms around his neck before going in for another kiss. It was like none you had ever experienced before. It was like he put full thought into each one, trying to figure out what you liked and what you didn’t.
His arms wrapped around your waist as his tongue licked along the seam of your lips. You opened up and he slid his tongue inside, letting it swirl around yours. It felt so good and you were surprised that you were already aroused when he hadn’t even done anything.
A sound that was foreign to you escaped your mouth and you pulled away, bringing your hand up to your lips to cover them in embarrassment. Eddie just laughed and pulled your hand away.
“There’s not need to be embarrassed, sweetheart,” he assured you. “Make as much noise as you want. In fact, I’d prefer it.” When you still looked unsure, he continued. “I’m serious,” he pecked your lips once more. “Be as loud as you want. There’s no such thing as being too loud.”
“So, you want me to make the noise again?”
“I’d actually prefer it.” With that, Eddie’s lips were on yours again and he took no time to stick his tongue into your mouth, swirling it around yours. You didn’t hold back that time, letting the moan fully escape your lips and felt Eddie’s boner against you as he pulled you closer.
His hands traveled down your back and slowly moved up your hoodie as he tested the waters to see if it was okay. Once you didn’t say anything, his hands moved up even more to your bra that he realized wasn’t there. The idea of you not wearing one made him even more hard and he decided that he needed to see your tits for himself.
He slowly lifted the bottom of your hoodie and you lifted your arms up so he had so trouble removing it. He let out a gasp as your hoodie hit the floor as he took in your naked upper half. He had really been missing out. God, you were so fucking perfect.
“Christ. You’ve been hiding these from me all this time?” He reached up to touch them, taking them in his hands before giving them a squeeze.
“Well, it’s not exactly normal to show your best friend your tits, is it?”
“And yet, here we are,” he smirked.
“Eddie, our friendship has never been normal.”
“That’s true. But seriously, you’re so fucking hot.”
“I know,” you nodded and it made him even more hard knowing that you were so confident in yourself. Soon, his lips were back on yours again, this time more rough as he took what he wanted from you.
His thumbs moved your nipples in a circular motion and you let out a moan at the foreign feeling.
“Feels so good, Eds,” you told him and he continued, wanting to hear more of those pretty sounds fall from your lips. His lips moved to your neck as he slowly laid you down on the bed, removing his jacket and shirt as he did so.
He attached his lips to yours once again, this kiss slow and sloven, as if he had all the time in the world, and you supposed he did. He brought your bottom lip between his and gave it a little suck, causing you to let out a whimper and you to get even more wet. Once he realized you liked it, he did it again, harder that time before taking it between his teeth and biting down gently.
“Fuck,” you moaned. “More.” He bit down even harder and you let out your loudest moan. As he bit and sucked your lip, his hand traveled down to your sweatpants. He slowly stuck his hand down the front of them, on the hunt for your pussy.
Once he found it, Eddie’s fingers lightly grazed it, warming you up for the main event. He slowly stuck two fingers inside of you and your back arched in pleasure, your eyes closing tight.
He pumped his fingers in and out of you, the only sounds that could be heard were your moans and the squelching of your slick as he moved his fingers in and out of your cunt. You were already experiencing more pleasure than you ever had and he hadn’t even fucked you yet.
“You like that, hon?” He asked as he pumped a little faster.
“So good, don’t stop.” He hooked his finger and found just the right spot, causing your legs to stretch out at the pleasure.
“Oh my god, Eddie, I think I’m gonna-”
Just as you said the words, you reached your first climax, screaming his name as you did so. Eddie removed his fingers from you and you sat up just in time to watch him slowly lick your slick from his fingers.
“Fuck,” he moaned. “Taste so good, sweetheart.”
“You can have another,” you told him, your confidence building.
“You let me finger you and now you’re going to let me eat you out? Well, sugar. It must just be my lucky day.” Eddie lowered himself onto his knees on the floor at the edge of the bed and grabbed you by the ankles, pulling you with him.
With your permission, he pulled down your pants and let out a dramatic gasp at the wet patch on your underwear. He then removed those as well and spread your legs, licking his lips at the sight of your sopping wet cunt.
“You did all of this for me?” He gasped. “Sugar, you shouldn’t have.” He draped a leg over each shoulder and pressed open mouthed kisses to your thighs, not wanting them to feel left out before he inhaled your scent, desperate for a taste. “You look good enough to eat and I’m starving.”
Eddie let his nose brush your cunt as he dove in and you let out a gasp, gripping the comforter underneath you as you got used to the foreign feeling. He then slowly licked a stripe from your slit to your clit, eliciting a whine from you.
“Oh, my god,” you moaned and Eddie pulled away for a second, just so he could speak to you.
“Taste so fucking good, sweetheart,” he groaned his voice all raspy, making you even more wet. “Swear I could do this all day.” He went in for more and licked and sucked as your back arched in pleasure, his fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped up every single bit of your slick.
His teeth grazed just the right spot and you swore that your vision went hazy at the pure euphoria you were experiencing. Was it always like that or was Eddie just that good? You were pretty sure it was the latter.
Your thighs pressed against his head as Eddie stuck his tongue fully inside you and your hands moved to his hair as you reached yet another orgasm, but he wasn’t done just yet.
His tongue swirled around your cunt and you yanked on his hair in reaction to the feeling. You hadn’t experienced anything like it and were sure that you definitely wanted him to do it again. It was too good to just pretend like it didn’t happen.
“Fuck,” you whined. “Right there.” He hit just the right spot to make a mewl fall from your lips and you fell back onto the mattress as you came down from your climax. Eddie gave your cunt one last lick before pulling his face away, the entire thing soaked in your slick, but he didn’t care. He’d be happy to lick it all up just to get another taste of you.
“God, could eat you for hours, baby. You taste heavenly.”
“Need your cock,” you said through labored breaths and Eddie was surprised. He thought you’d need a little break before you were ready.
“Baby, we just-”
“Eddie,” you said through grit teeth. “I need you now.”
“Alright, alright,” he pulled a condom from his wallet and quickly removed his jeans and underwear before rolling the thing onto his cock. He then lined himself up with your cunt and slowly inserted himself, both of you letting out moans at the sensation.
Eddie slowly thrusted into you since it was your first time and as good as it felt, you needed more. He wasn’t moving fast or harder enough.
“Harder,” you told him and he kept going slow, unsure of that was the right move for you. He didn’t want to hurt you, especially not on your first time.
“Are you sure?”
“Very fucking sure. Fuck me hard.” With that, Eddie pounded into you and you mewled in reaction.
“Oh,” you moaned. “Oh my god-fuck.”
“That’s it, honey,” Eddie responded. “Look at you, taking me so well. Look like a fucking princess underneath me.”
He continued to pound into you and the moans that left your mouth were enough to make him the hardest he had ever been. None of the other women he had fucked had been nearly as responsive to his moves as you had. You ate up every single thing and he loved that about you. That you took whatever he gave you and was nothing but grateful for it.
“Fuck, feel so good, princess,” he moaned, grabbing the onto your legs and wrapping them around his waist so he had more access to your pussy.
He thrusted and thrusted, eventually moving the fastest and hardest he could and that seemed to satisfy you. In return, Eddie was eating up all of your reactions, loving to hear your moans, desperate to have a recording of them because of how lovely they sounded.
Once you both reached your climaxes, Eddie pulled out of you and made you go pee while he disposed of the condom. He then joined you in the bathroom and the two of you got into the bed, not even bothering to put your clothes back on.
Eddie laid next to you and pulled you to him, bare skin to bare skin and pushed some your baby hairs off of your sweaty forehead. He then pressed a kiss to it and moved all the way down until he got to your lips, pulling you in for a sweet kiss.
He then pressed his forehead to yours, his brown eyes boring into yours. His hand moved leisurely up and down your arm and he licked his lips before he spoke.
“What if I told you that I wanted to do that more often?”
“I’d totally let you.” If it was anything like you had just experienced, you’d let do it anytime he wanted.
“Well, what if I told you that I wanted you to be the only person that I slept with?”
“Like a friends with benefits kind of thing?” What ever he was suggesting, you were down for.
“No, more like a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of thing.”
“I’d love that.” You rolled on top of Eddie and peppered his face in kisses while he let out numerous giggles. You then pulling him in for a kiss that left him breathless to solidify your relationship status. The first of many that night and for the rest of your lives.
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dollyyun · 2 days
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𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬' 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐲 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟒 (𝐣𝐚𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤)
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SYNOPSIS: You have heard unpleasant things about Jay Park, one of which is his tendency towards violence, which brings you chills as you recall a student who nearly died because of him. You know better than to cross him, and so you ignore him whenever he attempts to speak to you or pesters you by throwing such crude remarks at you, because no matter how much you want to lash out at him, you worry that your words would greatly anger him. Little do you know that your silence and how you disregard his existence have long since angered him. So he decides to teach you a little lesson, making a different approach towards you and eventually you fall for his dark allure ─ one that has you on a delirious high, and yet you find yourself slowly breaking into pieces.
PAIRING: non!idols enha hyung line x fem!reader, jay x fem!reader
GENRE: 18+ (mdni), semi-college au, adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.
WARNINGS: entions of christianity, bullying, smoking, mention of drug usage, alcohol consumption, profanities, slight yandere, possessive, manipulation, bullying, assault, angst, obsession, corruption, toxicity, mild violence, harddom!jay (kinda), name calling (whore, brat, baby), masturbation, smut, unprotected sex (no!), mirror sex, mild rough sex, vanilla sex, use of sex toy, oral (f.receiving), ice play, nipple play, bondage, fingering, pussy eating, cum eating, slight choking, spanking, missionary, manhandling, orgasm denial, crying (lots), overstimulation, squirting, breeding kink, multiple orgasms, multiple sex scene, jay is obsessed with reader's boobs.
WORD COUNT: 33.9k
FEATURING: enha maknae line, txt, le sserafim, ive, aespa.
DISCLAIMER: this fic is inspired by devil's night series written by penelope douglas! also, i am not a Christian, and i didn't bother to do thorough research on the religion, so pardon any false facts or errors.
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3.1, PART 3.2 PART 5(TEASER)
PLAYLIST: Heartless - The Weeknd, Reminder - The Weeknd, Moth To A Flame - The Weeknd, Hurt My Feelings - Tate McRae, Guilty As Sin - Taylor Swift, Close To You (tbr) - Gracie Abrams, The Heart Wants What It Wants - Selena Gomez, Kiss It Better - Rihanna, Collide - Justine Skye, Right Here - Chase Atlantic, Supernatural - Ariana Grande.
✘ SERIES MASTERLIST ✘
RUBY'S NOTE: Decided to release early. Even though it's clearly flawed, I hope this is as decent as the other parts. Enjoy reading :)
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Jay doesn’t want to admit it, but maybe his best friend was right.
With each step Jay advances towards the garage, the sound of your mellifluous voice and chuckles seems to infuriate him, especially as he can vividly recall your infectious yet sultry giggles when you were dancing intimately with him, your fingers in his hair, and your ass pressing up against his bulge on Devil’s Night.
Entering the garage stealthily, his sharp gaze instinctively settles on you, to which his lips curl into a disdainful sneer as he watches how animated your eyes are with pellucid adoration, staring into Sunghoon’s eyes. Sunghoon seems to be saying something witty with a cocky smirk playing on his lips as he stares down at you, whereas you look slightly meek with your dimpled cheeks turning rosier while your smile seems bashful.
The familiar green imbues the red within him as his steely eyes watch you lean your body slightly forward with your sultry gaze at Sunghoon, your fingers making their ascent to trace the lines of his abdominal muscles since his upper body is bare of any clothes while Sunghoon reciprocates your attempt at flirting.
Jay’s eyes begin to rake all over your body shamelessly. You are simply donning a white shirt that looks big on your figure as the length reaches around your plush thighs, most probably Sunghoon’s. As you remain securely seated on top of Sunghoon’s sleek bike, which is splattered with droplets of water, the shirt hikes up way above your thighs, allowing tight-fitting black shorts to peek.
Jay can feel his dick going completely erected as it pokes through his pants. Damn it. If only you weren’t so hot, then he wouldn’t be as bothered as he is now by your detachment towards him. 
Of course, Jay took umbrage at this because no woman has ever ignored his existence the way you do. Not only did you ignore his crude remarks anytime he pestered you during the two previous days, but you just simply looked past him, as if he were invisible, even when he was in your line of sight.  Consequently, the way you are now provokes an ire that he has been repressing for a considerable amount of time.
Truth be told, Jay has long since noticed you since freshman year, but he couldn’t be bothered to make any sort of approach towards you since he heard about how boring and dull you were from the nebby peers of his. Plus, since he’s an international business major, he rarely came across your paths due to the fact that his department was situated further from yours. Nevertheless, he knew of your existence.
Sure, you looked rather cute and chic in the way you dressed, particularly the satin piece you used to tie your hair, but that’s just it. Although Jay can recall that there was a moment of time where he did find you intriguing, you didn’t evoke any salaciousness in him the way the other girls did.
But unlike Sunghoon, Jay didn’t harbour any hatred, nor did he harbour any feelings for you. He simply didn’t give a fuck about you.
Besides, at that point in time, you weren’t his to pursue, and he didn’t dare to, not when you had long since caught the attention of a certain someone. To this day, Jay finds it ridiculous that the aforementioned didn’t initiate preying on you first, but nevertheless, you’ll be his for the taking soon enough.
The sound of your giggles draws his attention back to you, and a muscle pulses in his jaw at the sight of you in a heated lip-lock with Sunghoon. It takes every ounce of self-restraint for Jay to march over and break you two apart. Not only does he feel aggrieved towards you, but towards Sunghoon and Jake as well.
Sunghoon and Jake should be on his side, and they should be acting according to the plan, but why do they seem to be enjoying the fact that they have you smitten over them more than they should? It’s like they are taking advantage of your apparent attachment to them by clinging to you and preventing Jay from getting alone time with you for the past two days.
Yes, you are now considered a regular in this magnificent palace with its walls embedded with secrets from the pursuits of the past and even before their time. For the past two days you have been here, Jay has tried almost everything to get your attention but maybe it had to do with the two leeches, whom he regards as his best friends, who were always there by your side, so they gave you a sense of reassurance that Jay wouldn’t dare do anything to you as long as they’re next to you.
Oh, were they wrong, because once he has you all alone, you wouldn’t be able to ignore him just as you always do.
“So you’re being a creepy fuck now?” Jake’s breath hits his ear from behind, prompting Jay to look over his shoulder with a scowl etched on his face, whereas Jake remains smirking.
“Screw off, and while you’re at it, tell Hoon to screw off too.” Jay’s tongue hits the root of his mouth. “You two had your time. She’s mine for the taking now.”
“Jay, Jay.” Jake's faux sigh of empathy as he shakes his head seems to ignite the flames within Jay significantly. “You’ve got to let a woman take her time to be naturally drawn to you.”
“How is she supposed to do that when you and Hoon keep hogging her all to yourselves?” The volume of Jay’s voice seems to shatter the heated lip-lock between you and Sunghoon, prompting them to look at Jay and Jake.
However, Jay remains in a glaring contest with a smirking Jake, undeterred by the fact that he has your attention now. “I don’t give a fuck. She’s off limits now.”
“Or you’ll what?” Jake tilts his chin up in defiance, and the mockery is evident in his countenance. “You’re gonna bitch and whine to Heeseung about it? Like you always do?”
Usually, Jay would go along to keep up the banter with Jake, but this time, it is as though something inside of him snaps completely, resulting in him acting in retaliation. In a blink of an eye, Jay finds himself raising his fist and landing it into Jake’s jaw, sending the latter to stagger steps back.
“Dude! What the fuck?!” Jake holds his aching jaw, and the storms in his eyes match Jay’s.
On the other side, Sunghoon’s grasps on your shoulders loosen as he watches his best friends with calculated eyes, aware of the broiling tension between them. He looks down at you sternly. “Wait here.” He orders before leaving you, but you refuse, and you end up trailing behind him anyway.
“At least I wasn’t the one who fucked his best friend behind our backs.” Jay’s tone is laced with resentment and utter disgust. He scoffs out a smirk at the look in Jake’s eyes. “Oh yeah. I knew about it. So much for brotherly love, huh?”
“Shut the fuck up.” Jake growls out as he clenches his fist, completely livid.
Sunghoon is nearing them with the intention of preventing things from escalating further. “Guys─”
But Jay ignores Sunghoon, driven by his rage to taunt Jake. “Right, does your lovely know about it?” Jay asks with a sneer. The mockery dripping in his tone seems to draw your attention as he meets your puzzling eyes. “Did you know that your lover boy here broke the code by fucking his best friend─”
Jay has long seen it coming, and he braces himself for Jake’s imminent wrath as the latter lunges for him, but disappointment dawns when Sunghoon steps in between them with one hand pressed against Jake’s chest while the other’s against Jay’s, easily stopping them with his strength despite the fact that they are equally strong as him.
“Look at yourselves. You guys look like fucking idiots figthing each other, and for what?” Sunghoon’s tone indicates his vexation for the two raging alphas. 
“He started it first.” Jake spits out, and his patent wrath has you flinching lightly because you have never seen him so livid, yet there is a distinct hurt in his storming gaze. “Jay’s being a petty bitch just because he failed to get Y/N’s attention from us.”
This time, you frown and take a step forward. “What?”
The sound of your voice pulls Jay’s attention to you, and your frown only deepens while your eyes hold an odium for him. Not only does it add fuel to his resentment towards you, but he finds it bizarre that the stinging pain crosses his chest as though a long needle has pierced into his tainted heart the way you are staring at him.
Jake roughly pushes himself away from Sunghoon, his aching jaw goes clenched, completely desisting himself from returning the favour by punching Jay’s face. “And for the record, it was a drunken mistake. So fuck you for using that against me.”
“Jaeyun.” You grasp your nerving courage as you prudently walk towards him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t protest or anything, as he allows you to hold his hand. Your other hand reaches up to cradle the cusp of his jaw lightly, careful enough not to come into contact with the area where he got punched.
You frown upon seeing a faint bruise on his skin. It seems that your touch balms his wrath as his eyes soften with each passing second before they meet your concerned ones. “Let’s get you a bag of ice.” You say softly, tugging at his hand.
Oddly compliant, Jake nods his head, and you take this as a signal to pull him with you, but not before shooting one last glare at Jay and finally proceeding to depart from the garage.
“Seriously, what the fuck is going on with you?” Sunghoon continues to express his disapproval, watching with callous eyes as Jay pulls out a small, familiar device from his pocket before inhaling the flavorful aerosol. “I thought you had your anger under control.”
Jay scoffs out with the grey mist leaving his lips. “Sue me for losing control, then. Let’s not forget that you and the bastard wouldn’t even leave her side, leeching onto her like lovesick fools.” Each word he spits out comes out of sheer disgust, which mirrors the jealousy brimming in his veins. “Have you forgotten the most important part of the rule?”
“No, I haven’t.” Sunghoon strongly asserts himself, but even he knows that he has grown rather attached to you.
“Says the guy who brought the library back to life just for her, and you dare to profess that you’re not entirely attached to her?” Jay’s disparaging remark causes Sunghoon to clench his jaw, suddenly finding him more insufferable than usual.
“Look, I’m not in the mood to entertain your dickhead behaviour, but the way you are being right now only shows Y/N the more reason she should be staying away from you.” Sunghoon points out.
“So why the fuck has she been ignoring me even before this, then?” Jay clicks his tongue in annoyance. “She wasn’t like this on Devil’s Night when I danced with her.”
“No idea, but since you disgustingly reek of desperation for Y/N’s attention, I’ll inform Jake to keep our distance from her for now.” Sunghoon smirks as soon as Jay shoots him a scowl. “Now kiss my foot and show me some gratitude.”
“Fuck off.” Jay scoffs, now keeping the e-cigarette back in his pocket. “And what do you mean ‘for now’? You two had your turns, and as soon as I’m done with her, she’s his for the taking.”
“Speaking of,” Sunghoon pauses, seeming hesitant, to which Jay’s eyebrow arches. “Did Jake and Heeseung really─”
“Yeah. They did.” Jay cuts him off rather calmly. The prior indignation slowly diminishes upon drifting to the shocking revelation he discovered months ago, but it only resurfaces in his mind due to Jake’s provocation that serves as a trigger. 
“Wow, fucking hell.” Sunghoon breathes out, his fingers running through his raven strands while chuckles of disbelief emit from him. “How did you find out about them anyway?”
“Beomgyu.” Jay answers briefly, but the look in Sunghoon’s eyes elicits an annoyed sigh from him before he elaborates. “He saw them, but I didn’t want to believe him at first, so I confronted Heeseung about it, and he said it was true.”
“Damn. So that probably explains why they’ve always been closer with each other than they are with us.” Sunghoon’s contortion is neutral, so Jay is unable to decipher his judgement on the revelation.
“Maybe. Then again, they’ve always been closer.” Jay shrugs his shoulders, feeling entirely indifferent.
“Yeah, but haven’t you realised yet that Heeseung has a soft spot for him?” Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “He has always shown more leniency towards Jake than us.”
“Then have your first fuck with him.” Jay states bluntly. “No doubt he’ll develop a soft spot for you too.”
Sunghoon’s scowl deepens as he roughly shoves Jay in the shoulder, to which the latter doesn’t feel affected by his strength. “Fuck off. I’m not gay.”
“It’s fine if you are. No judgement here.” Jay casts him a lazy smirk, shoving one hand inside his pocket before eventually making his departure from the garage, with Sunghoon trailing behind him.
“You’re a dickhead, you know that?” Sunghoon falls on the same steps as him, now entering the palace. “Wait, does this mean that Jake is─?”
“Who knows?” Jay sighs loudly as the mention of Jake’s name annoys him as though there’s a mosquito buzzing around him incessantly. “I don’t give a fuck about him or his sexuality, but remember, Hoon, she’s off limits to both of you now.”
“Okay, geez. She’s all yours!” Sunghoon puts his hands up in faux defence, as evident by the mockery smile on his countenance. “Predatorial much? Don’t forget that she’s not only yours, because at the end of the day, she remains our prey.”
Jay simply disregards Sunghoon as his attention is drawn to you, watching you tend to Jake by the living room as you press the bag of ice to his cheek while you remain seated on his lap with his arms encasing your waist, as though he refuses to let you go anytime soon. The thought of it elicits a small scoff from Jay.
Seriously, just who do you think you are? Even the retired fuckboy Park Sunghoon, whom Jay knows too well that Sunghoon doesn’t give a damn about the girl after the fucking, seems to be disgustingly smitten over you with his blatant display of affection.
It is as though you have bewitched them by some sort of spell, and Jay has every intention to find out just what makes you so fucking special.
As Jay looks over to you and Jake once more, kissing each other and giggling with your faces beaming, a smirk touches his lips as his dark, twisted mind has formulated a scheme that obviously involves you. Soon enough, you won’t be able to resist him, and you’ll eventually forget about Sunghoon and Jake.
“By the way, she’s a crybaby.” Sunghoon’s abrupt statement causes Jay to blink his eyes in surprise.
“A pretty crier, I suppose.” Jay drawls out, his lips curving into a smirk.
Sunghoon mirrors his smirk, his hand tapping Jay’s shoulder. “Just don’t make her cry unless it’s out of pleasure.”
Jay merely hums in return, his eyes zeroing in on the perfect arch of your back as Jake kisses you deeply. “That’s what I do best.”
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Two days of pure bliss have passed by more expeditiously than you expected. In between the gratification both Sunghoon and Jake gave you, there were moments where you felt the air of intimacy with them that awakened butterflies in your tummy ─ how Sunghoon accompanied you to the palace’s library and waited for you despite his distaste for libraries while his fingers played and twirled with your soft tendrils as he watched you read, how Jake would listen attentively to you and give you his remarks while hugging you close to his chest in his bed.
Other than the sex with them that ascended you to cloud nine, you appreciate and cherish those sweet moments of different intimacies that brought you trainquilly. It is ironic how you should be alarmed and sever any ties you have with them, especially knowing what they are capable of and the fact that Sunghoon hates you, or at least not anymore. They are more than capable of killing you, but you have decided to bare your soul to them, willing to be pliant for them.
Like a moth to a flame, it is impossible for you to disregard your yearning for them, as you will always find yourself returning to them. They have ignited something within you that renders you completely deprived whenever you drift from them any longer, which is exactly why you are turning sulky as you continue to insert whines in between at this exact moment.
“But why?” You ask again, pacing back and forth in the living room with your phone pressed against your ear, whereas Karina can be seen exiting the kitchen. “Why won’t I be seeing you and Jaeyun tomorrow?”
“Because I said so.” Sunghoon’s smug tone draws a small scowl from your countenance before you hear him sigh. “If I had known you were this clingy…”
The annoyance you detect in his tone as he mumbles has your heart stinging with pain, prompting you to halt your steps. “You think I’m clingy?” You dare to ask in a timorous voice despite being apprehensive of his possible snarky response. 
“Yeah, I mean, you’re practically acting as if you’re my girlfriend when you’re not. Besides, did we not see each other just earlier today?” Sunghoon grumbles in annoyance, which only disheartens you. “It turns me off when a girl is so fucking clingy.”
You feel a painful lump forming in your throat while the back of your eyes burn, hating the detachment in his tone — nothing in comparison to how he spoke to you for the past few days. “But I thought you liked me─”
You hear a commotion in the background on the line. “Gotta go, princess. I’ll see you soon.”
Just like that, he hangs up without catching onto the words you spoke in a splintered whisper. With a tightened grip, you slowly lower your phone, and your crestfallen eyes catch Karina’s attention as she has been watching you by the kitchen.
“You okay?” Karina inquires softly, pulling your attention to the raven haired across from you. In return, you can only afford to give her a faint smile, but that doesn’t assure her. “So….I heard Jake’s name. You’re friends with him and Sunghoon now?”
But before you can answer her, another voice interrupts. “Y/N friends with who now?”
Ah, you should have known that Yunjin and Wonyoung had been together in Yunjin’s room, no doubt they were probably gossiping about you since you pissed off Wonyoung by ignoring her calls the other day.
Despite the weight of their gazes that feels heavy on your shoulders, you remain rooted to the ground instead of cowering, your chin is tilted up in defiance. “Nothing that concerns you.” Your curt tone brings a scowl to Wonyoung’s face. “I’ll be heading to my room.”
“Oh no, you’re not, not unless you come clean to us by confessing that you did what you did.” Wonyoung’s vehemence stops you from resigning yourself to your comfort zone.
“What could I have possibly done that greatly offended you?” You ask, displaying your exasperation.
“I saw you and Sunghoon by the pool at Yeonjun’s pool party.” Yunjin speaks up, her tone is unwavering, which matches the resolve in her hazel eyes. “You were fucking him out in the open for anyone to stumble upon.”
“Just what the hell were you thinking?” Wonyoung unhooks her arm from Yunjin's, and her dark eyes penetrate into yours, leaving you flinching at the apparent disgust in them. “Seriously? Park Sunghoon out of all people?!”
“Just let this drop, Wonyoung.” This time, you are taken aback by Karina’s stern yet pissed-off tone as she steps forward, unyielding in defending you. “It’s a fucking pool party. People were bound to do all sorts of things.”
Wonyoung scoffs loudly in disbelief. “I blame you, Rina. If you hadn’t been so encouraging, then Y/N wouldn’t have turned out to be a─”
“A what?” The tone in your voice sounds unrecognisable, even to you, as it is resonating enough to silence them. A muscle pulses in your jaw, with your eyes glaring heatedly into Wonyoung while you clench a fist. “Come on. Say it. I know that you were going to say that I’m a slut.”
“An insufferable bitch who homie hopped between the very two leaders we’ve warned you to stay away from!” Wonyoung exclaims, and the familiar stinging hurt in your chest doesn’t even dissuade you from the resentment you harbour for her.
With how hard you are clenching your fist, your nails dig into your palms, forming shapes of crescents that are reflections of the emotions glaring in your nearly tear-filled eyes. “If I’m such an insufferable bitch, as you asserted, then why bother confronting me? Why even bother calling me?”
“Because we still care enough about you.” Yunjin interjects, and although she feels the same vehementness as Wonyoung, her approach towards you is different from Wonyoung. Her tone sounds undoubtedly stern, but a discernible softness is detectable. “Y/N, we don’t want you to pursue this path─”
“The knights’ leaders are not the kind of people you would want to associate yourself with.” Wonyoung struggles to maintain decorum, you can see it. “You have no idea what they are capable of. They’re bad people.”
“You don’t know them like I do.” You retort, feeling offended and defensive. “I don’t know about the others, but I can assure you that Sunghoon and Jake are not bad people. Even if they are, who is to say that I can’t change them?”
“Do you even hear yourself? Change them? Are you that delusional? They are incapable of change!” Wonyoung declares fiercely, seething with resentment for the way you are entirely unrecognisable in her eyes. “You are too far gone, Y/N. Your foolish endeavours with them end now.”
“No.” You object calmly. “I’m not about to allow you to dictate my life choices, not anymore.”
“She’s right.” Karina interjects, but this earns her glares from both Wonyoung and Yunjin. “It’s about time we stopped babying her, girls. She’s a grown woman, just like us. For how long are you going to keep sheltering her and dictating her life choices?”
“It seems to us that you don’t care about Y/N enough.” Yunjin states coldly, eliciting a scoff from Karina.
“Unbelievable. You know what? I have had enough of you two chastising Y/N for doing what we all did or still do, and she is a fucking grown woman who has free will at that.” Karina shoots them a glare before storming off to her room with the door slamming loudly closed.
“See? Even Karina understands, so why can’t the two of you?” You break the ice, drawing their attention.
“You’re mixing with the wrong company, Y/N.” Yunjin’s grave tone deepens your frown. “We only want what’s best for you.”
“It’s okay, Yunjin. If Y/N still refuses, then we’ll just have to inform her mother.” Wonyoung’s statement elicits a disbelieving gasp from you.
Your eyes harden. “You wouldn’t.” 
Wonyoung's mockery smile causes your eye to twitch. “Oh, yes, I would. So unless you want your beloved mother to find out about your recent misconduct, then you’ll cease this foolishness.”
“Screw you! I’m not a kid!” You burst out, no longer holding back your tears. “You talk so confidently about how the leaders are not good people as though you really know them, so does that mean you’ve slut around with them the way I do?” A derisive chuckle elicits from you as you wipe the tears away from your cheeks. “Or maybe you’re just jealous that I got their attention instead of you?”
Wonyoung snaps with the veins protruding from her neck. “Because I don’t want you to end up like Ji─” She holds herself back as soon as Yunjin holds her arm, which goes unnoticed by you as you are occupied wiping your tears. You hear her sighing, exhaustion drips from her tone. “Just stop being so difficult and promise us that you won’t associate with any of them anymore.”
“I like them.” You blurt out your true feelings for them as they surface. “I like Sunghoon and Jake, so if that makes me a slut, then so be it, because I have never been happier than I am now.”
“Then you leave us no choice.” Yunjin’s disappointment causes your chest to feel constricted. “We’ve tried warning you countless times, but you chose to be stubborn, all because you’re utterly delusional and blind to the fact that they’re toying with you.”
“Just what happened to you, Y/N Kang?” You hate the way Wonyoung is staring at you with no traces of the prior anger and resentment — just pure disappointment that pulls the strings painfully in your heart.
“Have you ever thought that maybe it’s time I finally grew out of my shell?” You ask rhetorically, and your voice comes out quiet this time. “I just want to be like you girls, to experience the thrill and the fun that I missed out on, all because I wasn’t brave enough.”
“But not like this.” Wonyoung shakes her head. “You were supposed to be the good one.”
“So I’m not good now? Is that what you’re implying?” You scoff out. “Just because I slept with them, I’m the bad guy now.”
“This is exactly what I meant by you being an insufferable bitch.” Wonyoung says coldly. “Whatever happens next, just don’t come running to me in tears, because I won’t be there for you anymore. I’m done.”
You try your best not to be deflated by her icy glare on your face before she turns her back on you, trudging to her room. Yunjin doesn’t bother to spare another glance at you, as though she is disgusted by the sight of you as she follows suit.
You sniffle, wiping away the remnants of tears on your cheek, before feeling vibrations from your phone in your grasp. Bringing your attention to your phone screen, you manage to crack a small smile as you read his text response to your last message.
JAEYUN: Of course, you’ll always be my girl, lovely. Just hang in there, and you’ll be back in my arms in no time.
Even just by reading his text, it’s enough for you to swoon over him, which subsequently allows you to forget whatever happened with your best friends earlier. Maybe Wonyoung was right. Maybe you are too far gone, deviating from the codes you were supposed to retain and act upon.
Evidently, you are guilty as sin, but at least you’re Jake’s girl and Sunghoon’s princess at the end of the day.
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The next day, you decide to attend non-mandatory classes for some clarifications in which you inquire to your professors since you are still driven to ace your exams despite your recent ventures. At least your motivation for academics remains consistent.
Plus, you needed some distraction from the massive dispute between you and your best friends. You recall when you crossed paths with Wonyoung and Yunjin earlier, just when you were about to head out of your dorm, and it was no surprise that they gave you cold shoulders, to which you reciprocated despite the strings pulled painfully in your heart.
“There will be no classes for you to attend tomorrow and Friday, as next Monday will be the start of your exam week.” Your professor announces to the whole class. Much to your surprise, most of your classmates are present, studying and working diligently since exams are around the corner.
As soon as your professor begins her dismissal, you pack your belongings into your bag before rising from your seat to make your way to the door in haste. Busily taking out your cherry-flavoured lollipop from the pocket of your skirt and unwrapping it, you fail to be attentive to your surroundings, resulting in you bumping into a manly back, and the instant his familiar, strong cologne pervades your senses, your breath catches in your throat.
Feeling the weight of his gaze on your face, you slowly look up to meet his dark gaze, and with the familiar black cap adorned on his head, it’s hard for you to decipher the inexplicable sentiments gleaming in his eyes. But then again, he has always been indecipherable.
You notice the way his eyes flicker down at the unwrapped red lollipop in your grasp, and his lips, whose bottom is adorned with the familiar lip ring, unfurl a soft smirk that has your heart going pitter-patter.
“Do you have one more?” His husky voice has your stomach tightening, an effect that he has on you even when you hate to admit it.
“Y-Yeah.” You stutter, your trembling hand goes shoving into your pocket to grab another of the same-flavoured lollipop, which you intended to save for later since you’ll be doing more studying at your usual spot by the campus foyer.
But since it’s him asking, you would rather play it safe than reject him.
You give him the lollipop, but the moment your fingers gently brush against his cold ones, you immediately retract your hand. You swear you can feel some sort of electricity for a fleeting moment through mere skin contact.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” He says so softly, but the smirk on his lips persists as he inserts the lollipop into his mouth while his eyes rake all over you for one last time before walking away from you.
Although you have finally released the breath you hold back, your stomach churns with uneasiness at the harmless yet familiar endearment. The way he said it sounded uncannily similar to one of your predators on Devil’s Night. White.
You shake your head, not wanting to dwell on the matter further since it would only affect your already dampened mood. The lollipop in your mouth salves the remnants of your uneasiness, with your tongue swirling and savouring the familiar cherry flavour. Before you can resume your journey to the campus foyer, you hear a voice that shatters your moment of solitude.
“Y/N.”
The sound of his voice only serves as motivation for you to pick up the pace while you remove the lollipop from your mouth and grip the stick.
“Y/N!”
Your heart rate accelerates as you are prepared to skedaddle, but as soon as his hand has a firm hold on your arm, he seizes any opportunity for you to flee him, forcing you to turn around to meet his callous gaze that makes you want to recoil.
His tongue hits the roof of his mouth, entirely dissatisfied with you. “Is this how you want to fucking play now?”
“I’m not playing anything with you.” Though you manage to voice it out, a flicker of fear is noticeable in your tone that parallels your shaky pupils staring directly into his dark eyes. You attempt to yank your arm from his hold, but his deathly grip elicits a small whimper from you. “Let go of me, Jay.”
A cruel smirk is drawn on his stark countenance. “So you do know my name, which also means that you do remember what happened on Devil’s Night between us.”
Of course, you know him, and of course you remember what happened on Devil’s Night so vividly that you desperately want to erase a distinct memory of you dancing and grinding against him wantonly despite knowing that you were not entirely sober.
In your delirium, you had completely forgotten that you should have evaded Jay Park, otherwise known as Park Jongseong, after hearing all of the unpleasant things about him, including his tendency towards brutality, of which you recall a male student who nearly died because of him just a few months ago and is most probably still in a comatose state.
Yes, you have known that each devil’s knight is capable of committing deplorable acts such as murder after witnessing Devil’s Night, and you’ve seen firsthand when Jake mercilessly killed your bullies or when Sunghoon finished off Kim Namgil, but for some reason, Jay terrifies you more than Jake and Sunghoon do.
Maybe it has something to do with the entire bad boy facade of his — often clad in an attire that displays the full tattoos inked glaringly on his left arm to his fingers, the vertical left eyebrow piercing while his right eyebrow has a slit, the noticeable scar on his bottom lip, and his dark callous eyes that are piercing enough to unnerve you —  just everything about him, be it his appearance or his attitude, repels you.
As the son of an esteemed CEO and whose family line are direct descendants of one of the royal families in SoKor, the authority and power he wields are unrivalled, especially to a student like you, so you know better than to draw his attention or to cross him unless you want to end up like those students whom he preyed on and even had some expel from the university in the past.
Hence, you decided to ignore him for the past few days you’ve been to their palace whenever he attempted to speak to you or even pestered you by throwing crude remarks at you. Despite the nonchalance on your facade, only God knew how badly you wanted to lash out at him, but you maintained decorum and continued to disregard his existence as you worried your words would greatly anger him.
“What do you want?” You ask in a whimper as you avoid his gaze, your arm becoming numb from his deathly grip.
You hear him scoffing. “What do I want?” Every bit of his touch feels ruthless, maybe even more than Sunghoon’s, as he pins you against the wall, your face side-planted on the surface, allowing you to catch a glimpse of the cruelty etched on his face from your peripheral vision.
He has one hand locking your arms together on your lower back while the other is on the wall next to your head, preventing you from making any form of escape or even struggling. Your pulse drums louder in your ears as soon as you feel him closing in from behind, feeling his hot breath tickling your earlobe.
“What I want is for you to stop acting like you’re better than everyone else, better than me, when you should know that you’re beneath me.” His gravelly, deep voice resonates down your core, evoking dread and apprehension about what he may have in store for you. “You thought you could get away after glaring at me yesterday because I punched your boy toy?” 
“He’s not my boy toy.” You declare, albeit your voice is shaking unnervingly.
His dark, condescending chuckles spring the dread in your spine. “Oh really? If he’s not, then why have you been fucking around with Sunghoon as well?” He asks with a sardonic grin, relishing your palpable fear for him. “Hopping between my best friends and spreading your legs for them. Tsk. Just one man is never going to be enough for you, yeah?”
“J-Jay─” You gasp as soon as he turns you around, slamming you against the wall with both hands pinned above your head, rendering you entirely helpless as he ominously looms over you. The students walking in your vicinity are not even deterred by you getting assaulted, minding their own business since they know better than to meddle with Jay’s business.
“Do you know what you are? A fucking whore, that’s what.” His tone holds such anger and animosity while his chiselled jaw goes clenching. “You claimed to be the Catholic girl who is all pure and saintly, but in reality you’re just like other girls, and maybe even worse, because you always need two dicks to stuff you full.”
Despite the fact that his words shoot venomous arrows into your heart, you ignore a subtle stirring feeling of arousal that is ignited by his degradation. You silently berate yourself, and you blame Sunghoon for the reason you developed that specific kink.
Rallying your nerves that go erratic everywhere in a maelstrom before shoving them into a bundle, you muster courage to retaliate against him as you glare at him. “Who I spread my legs for is not in any of your business.”
Jay raises his eyebrow, slightly amused by your newfound tenacity, and he ignores the fact that he does find you adorable in the way you are glaring at him, akin to a bunny attempting to intimidate its predator.
“Oh yeah, it is. You’re my fucking business now, and when I tell you to do something, it’s a direct order. Now,” He pauses as his eyes flicker at the lollipop remaining in your grasp before snatching it to shove into your mouth. “Rule number one: No Jake or Sunghoon, and by that I meant no seeing them or even mentioning their names.”
“What?” You manage to utter your disbelief despite the lollipop in your mouth. “You don’t own me! You don’t get to tell me what to do─”
“Rule number two,” He cuts you off with a cold snarl. His face is now close to yours, allowing you to catch a whiff of his cigarette and cologne scent. “Don’t fucking ignore me the way you did, and don’t be insufferably defiant.”
The prior tenacity becomes tenfold, causing your chest to heave up and down while the anger sizzles through your veins, fueling your resentment for the man you should be fearing. You don’t know what possesses you, but the second a newfound vigour comes to surface, you grasp it quickly before utilising it to break free from his grip.
“I do whatever I want. Who even are you to dictate what I do?” You retaliate, taking him by surprise once more with your vehemence.
Jay inwardly chuckles. So the renowned, soft-spoken good girl does have a fiery spirit in her after all. Damn, and here he thought that he would have you bend down for him so easily.
“I’m Jay Park, and I can easily have you expelled from the university.” He smirks, gazing dangerously at you, which has you instantaneously reevaluating your previous actions. “But since you strongly insisted so, then I guess I’ll have to resort to another alternative.”
Confused, a frown pulls down your lips. “What?”
In a blink of an eye, Jay grabs a hold of the silver cross that has been resting on your chest before snatching it hard, to which you feel a prickling pain around your nape, which elicits a wince from you.
Your eyes widen in disbelief as the clasp is broken before you attempt to lunge for him to seize your precious necklace back in your possession. “Hey! Give it back!” You tip-toe and jump lightly, your hand reaching for the necklace in his clenched fist as he holds it high. You silently curse for being shorter than him.
Jay simply smirks down at you, enjoying with cruel fascination the sight of your eyes glistening with desperation and panic. He scoffs lightly. It’s just a stupid cross necklace, so why are you looking as though your life depends on that necklace?
“It’s not funny, Jay!” You jump again, but this time, you lose your balance, resulting in you stumbling into his chest, but he reflexively holds you steady against him with his arm slithering around your waist.
“On the contrary, it is.” He chuckles breathily while you become frigid in his possession. You ignore the tingles dancing delightfully on your skin from the sensation of his strong arm around your waist and how you are leaning dependently into him with your clenched fists on his chest.
You attempt to separate from him, but he only tightens his arm, and his dark gaze compels you to focus on him, noticing his austere countenance. He lowers his hand just slightly enough to capture your attention, with the silver cross dangling in the air as it glimmers under the artificial lights in your vicinity.
“This will remain in my possession for as long as I want to.” He states calmly.
“No.” You shake your head, holding back your tears as you release a small whimper. “I’ll give you anything else, but just not my necklace, please.” You implore.
Jay scoffs, finding you pathetic. “What could you possibly have to give me? Money? We both know that you can’t afford to give me a single penny.” His condescending tone drips with mockery, colouring your cheeks in humiliation.
“Why are you doing this?” You ask thickly in a whisper, forcing yourself to swallow an emotional lump in your throat, or else you’ll burst out in waterworks.
“I have a few reasons, but the top of it all is that you fucking pissed me off.” His eyes flicker to the lollipop stick in the corner of your lips, to which he grabs the stick and pulls it away from your mouth. “Don’t worry. I won’t be throwing away your necklace. Just for safekeeping, until you finally stop being as defiant as you were earlier. I’m not that mean, angel.”
You watch with a gaping mouth as he doesn’t hesitate to insert the lollipop into his mouth, genuinely dumbfounded that he doesn’t seem to be the slightest bothered by the exchange of saliva.
“Now you know better, yeah?” Jay casts you another smirk as he removes his arm from your waist to pat your head like you’re a kid before ambling away from you.
With a disheartened spirit, you drag your feet in the opposite direction, losing all motivation to revise and wanting to wallow in the confines of your room, where no one can ever hurt or torment you.
You sniffle, rubbing your dreary yet glistening eyes. You thought Sunghoon was the cruellest of them all, but Jay proved you wrong.
Taking out your phone from your pocket, you scroll through your contacts, heeding your instinct and tapping on his contact. You press your phone against your ear, hoping that he will answer your call.
To your surprise, he does. “Hey, lovely. Didn’t I say before to refrain from calling me for the time being?” Butterflies flutter in your tummy at how his voice sounds deeply husky, as though he has just woken from a nap.
“Jaeyun.” You utter his name weakly with quivering lips, yearning for his warmth and comfort.
You hear some shuffles in the background. “What’s wrong?” He sounds alarmed just by hearing the tone in your voice.
“Can you come over to my dorm?” You ask tentatively while grappling with your emotions, which are going haywire once more. The fact that your precious necklace, which was gifted by your father, is now in Jay’s possession makes you hypersensitive.
His soft sigh only seems to dishearten you more. “I don’t know if I can.”
“Please. I need you.” You implore in a whimper, your hand clutching your phone tight until white paints your knuckles. “It’s about Jay─”
“I’m on my way.”
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With the silver cross dangling in the air as his fingers grip the necklace, Jay stares at it oddly while his lips curl into a disdainful sneer. He finds your attachment to this meaningless necklace simply stupid, and yet a flicker of curiosity is there, wondering what sort of attachment you have to this necklace since he has always seen you wearing it.
Jay remains unmoving, seated on the couch that is pressed up against the wall in their garage, when he hears footsteps approaching towards him.
“You’re up for some sparring with me and Heeseung?” Sunghoon inquires, standing in front of Jay, prompting the latter to glance at him, who is only adorned in sweatpants while his porcelain skin sheens with dampness due to perspiration.
“Nah, I’m good.” Jay declines, his eyes drifting to Heeseung entering the garage in his usual tight-fitting gym attire. It seems that both of them came from the gym since it is situated in the palace, just a three-minute walk from the garage.
“New necklace?” Sunghoon asks with an eyebrow arched, but as soon as he sees the familiar silver cross, recognition flickers in his gaze. “That’s Y/N’s. Why do you have it?”
“Because I can.” Jay answers with a lazy grin. “Why? Are you jealous that I have something that belongs to her and you don’t?”
Sunghoon snorts a chuckle. “Why would I be jealous when I have something even better?” His hand slides into his pocket to grab something before showing Jay a pink scrunchie.
“That’s hers?” Jay tries his utmost to keep his jealousy rage at bay. “Never saw her using that to tie her hair.”
“She does, but not so often.” Sunghoon says, oblivious to the glaring jealousy in Jay’s dark gaze. “And if my presumption is correct, you forced her into giving you her necklace.”
“So what?” Jay rolls his eyes. “At least she now knows better the next time she decides to act defiant towards me.”
The blaring engine emanating from a motorcycle prompts the three of them to turn their heads at the now automated open garage, revealing a familiar biker clad in all black denims, decelerating the speed of his vehicle as he enters the garage to park where the other motorcycles are arrayed.
Once the biker switches off the ignition, he dismounts from his vehicle and quickly removes his helmet, revealing a pissed-off Jake Sim with his long raven strands dishevelled. In a haphazard manner, he tosses his helmet aside as it hits the ground with a loud thud while his dark gaze settles on Jay before marching over to him.
“You piece of shit!” Jake is seething, his jaw is locked, and his knuckles are painting white with how tight he clenches his fist.
“Woah, woah.” Sunghoon instinctively embodies a barrier between the two men, holding Jake off, whereas Jay doesn’t seem to be affected by Jake’s patent wrath. “What is the problem this time?”
“Yeah, Jake. Whatever did I do wrong this time?” Jay’s derisive chuckles only fuel Jake’s ire.
“You stole the one thing that made her feel close to her parents and provided her some form of succour in times of need!” Jake’s outburst is so profound that even Heeseung begins to make his approach towards them with the intention of preventing any potential escalation since both Sunghoon and Heeseung had seen firsthand when Jay and Jake were involved in a nasty brawl.
“Jake, calm down.” Heeseung grips Jake’s shoulder, but the latter effortlessly jerks his shoulder from Heeseung’s firm grip.
“Do you even know how much that necklace meant to her?!” Jake remains unrelenting as he attempts to shove Sunghoon away from being a hindrance to imposing his wrath on Jay.
“No, and I don’t care.” A cold smile touches Jay’s lips, his fingers toying your necklace, which only aggravates the situation since he is not being discreet about it. “So you were with her despite receiving a warning to meddle with my business pertaining to her.”
Jake’s jaw goes clenching. “She called me, so I came over. It’s that simple.”
“She didn’t call me.” Sunghoon mumbles to himself, his frown deepening.
“Now give me her necklace.” Jake demands, his brown eyes holding an unmistakable fierce resolution that Jay knows he won’t back down unless he does what he demands.
The smirk on Jay’s lips drops, now forming a scowl. “You are in no position to make demands. Whatever I want to do with Y/N is not your business. Besides, I didn’t poke my nose into your business when it was your turn, so you shouldn’t as well.”
“Jay’s right, Jake.” This time, Heeseung manages to draw Jake’s attention to him. The look in Heeseung’s eyes seems to tame Jake’s glaring wrath. “It’s part of the rules, you know that.”
“And while we’re at it, why the fuck are you acting like you’re her boyfriend? Being all so protective and defensive in her honour.” Jay finally points out. “Unless you’re still trying to deceive her, then whatever she feels shouldn’t have mattered to you, because at the end of the day, she’s our prey. Or have you finally caught feelings for sweet little Y/N Kang?”
Despite the obvious anger, Jake remains an enigma, his facial expression is indecipherable to them. “Fine, I’ll let this go, but I swear if you make her cry again─”
“Sim Jaeyun.” Heeseung’s tone is final, forcing Jake to oblige Heeseung’s silent order to leave, but not before shooting Jay one last glare.
“Listen, I’m all for ruining Y/N, but maybe Jake has a point.” Sunghoon breaks the ice as soon as Jake departs from the garage. “That necklace was probably gifted by her parents, and you went too far, Jay.”
Jay groans, displaying his annoyance. “Not you too, Hoon. I thought you’d be more than glad to know that Y/N is pathetically miserable just because I stole this necklace that probably cost like, what? Less than two hundred?”
“I’m just saying.” Sunghoon shrugs his shoulders. “Don’t get me wrong. I still hate─” There is a fleeting pause before he continues. “─Y/N, but I didn't go to that extent.”
“Careful, Hoon. Your humane side is showing.” Jay says mockingly as he rises from the couch, shoving the necklace in his pocket. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going for a drive.”
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With each feeble step you take, your nerves begin to act up while the inner turmoil makes you want to puke the food you ate in the morning. Instinctively, your fingers make their ascent to your neck, seeking the familiar yet ephemeral alleviation of fiddling with the silver cross, but as soon as you feel nothing, the bleak reality hits you like a tonne of bricks that your precious necklace is still in Jay’s possession.
You release a soft sigh. Despite basking yourself in Jake’s warmth and comfort as he offered you words of consolation yesterday, you still feel the ache in your heart of being forcefully detached from the one thing that you try your utmost to cling to its creed in order to retain whatever faith is left in you.
You have a strong inkling that Jay doesn’t actually want your necklace, and what he really wants is your attention, but frankly speaking, you have no intention to indulge him. There is absolutely no way you are about to give into what he wants just because he’s a Chaebol, despite the urge to retrieve it as soon as possible.
“Y/N! Over here!” Winter raises her hand to wave at you, and when you look at her, a gleeful smile plasters on her radiant face that seems to ease you momentarily before you feel a pair of eyes on your face, prompting you to look at Wonyoung.
You meet Wonyoung’s eyes fleetingly, but it’s enough to have an impact on you. She looks away first to resume her conversation with your two familiar classmates. Yesterday, Wonyoung caught Jake trying to leave your dorm, and although she didn’t say anything, the expression on her face was enough for you to fully discern her contempt towards Jake.
Holding back a sigh, you force yourself to lift a smile and proceed to amble towards Winter. Winter, ever so bright and ebullient, warmly greets you with a hug. You gladly reciprocate, and you can’t help but feel as if she knows you need this hug, causing you to squeeze your arms around her figure before breaking the hug.
“Hey Y/N.” Three of your other classmates greet you politely, and they are the very few who don’t seem to detest you, unlike the others.
After exchanging brief pleasantries, Winter tugs you with her, prompting you to sit next to her. “There’s a new café on campus that opened just recently. Wanna join us?” Winter asks as she watches you pull out the relevant notes from your bag.
“Sure.” You give her a small smile, and you can see in her eyes that she has many questions for you, but instead, she reciprocates your smile as she pats your shoulder before the bunch of you begin your group study.
For the next hour or two, you have become immersed in the studying and some discussions in between alongside your classmates, who are in the same major as you. You are thankful that this also serves as a distraction since not a single thought about anything that is irrelevant to what you are currently doing comes to mind. 
But your phone has been vibrating in your pocket every once in a while, which brings a frown to your face. Who could possibly be calling you?
“I’m beat.” One of your classmates, who is seated across from you, declares with a loud groan as she stretches out her limbs. “Can we please go for a break?” She asks Winter.
“We should.” Wonyoung adds, and it takes everything for you to resist looking at her. “We can resume our discussion right after. Plus, we have all day.”
“Fine.” Winter purses her lips, having no choice but to acquiesce upon seeing the look in their eyes. Winter turns her attention to you. “Y/N, are you coming with us?”
On cue, your stomach grumbles lightly despite having breakfast, and just as you are about to answer, an unwelcome voice cuts through the air that makes you go flinching.
“So you’re here. Oh? Hello, Y/N’s friends.” His menacing presence from behind causes you to straighten your spine.
You go frigid in your seat while your classmates offer him greetings or just acknowledge him, whereas Wonyoung can be seen glaring at him while Winter looks conflicted with her eyes darting between you and him, especially as his hand is now on your shoulder.
“Jay, what are you doing here?” Winter asks politely, the only one who bothers to be amiable enough towards him.
“Oh, ya know, just looking for a certain someone who didn’t bother to pick up my calls.” Jay squeezes your shoulder, to which you can feel the danger in the heat of his touch, and judging by his tone, you can detect his smug smile. “Y/N and I are friends now.”
“Let’s go, girls.” Wonyoung abruptly stands, her tone denotes disdain that you are familiar with. “This place suddenly reeks of poison.” She mutters, rolling her eyes, before leaving the table, with your classmates following suit.
“Just go. I’ll be fine.” You murmur to Winter, assuring her with a small smile, whereas the latter looks between you and Jay one more time before she makes her departure.
You release a breath as soon as Jay removes his hand from your shoulder. But he has other plans and is now inviting himself to sit next to you. “So no, ‘Hi Jay’?”
Your face remains impassive as you continue to scribble on your notes diligently, disregarding his entire domineering existence next to you, where you can feel the warmth emanating from his body.
From your peripheral vision, you catch a glimpse of him, and you resist the strong urge to have a better look at him. He’s wearing all black, and his tight-fitting black shirt looks taut on his muscles with his tattoos that intimidate you.
You hear him clicking his tongue, denoting his annoyance. “Ignoring me is not going to work, baby.”
Your heart skips a beat at the endearment, even though you try your utmost not to falter as you grip your pen tight. You feel his eyes boring into the side of your face, and the longer he does that, the more you begin to feel self-conscious.
Jay heaves an exasperated sigh. “You really are a nerd, do you know that? You have the perfect GPA score, and yet you’re still here studying? You’re just wasting your time when you could’ve used it on me instead.”
You grit your teeth. He just won’t stop until you direct your attention to him, right?
“Hey!” You gasp in disbelief as he snatches your note away. With your body tilted to face him, you finally get a good look at him. “Park Jongseong!” You attempt to reach out, but he simply holds it further from your reach.
“Now that I have your attention, I have a proposition for you.” Jay says, smirking lightly.
“I’m not interested.” You release a short huff before digging into your bag for your wallet and proceeding to leave the table with him behind.
You groan as soon as you hear his footsteps from behind. “Are you really sure you’re not interested?”
“I’m not interested in anything that has to do with you. Now go away.” You shoot him a scowl.
“I mean, if you’re really not interested, then I’ll just keep your necklace permanently─”
You halt your steps as soon as you enter the new establishment, where Wonyoung, Winter, and the rest of your classmates can be seen from afar. You turn to him, your eyes flickering with interest. “Fine. I’m listening.”
The smirk on his handsome countenance sends a fluttering sensation to your heart. “If you want your precious necklace back, then you’ll have to listen to me and obey my orders.”
You scoff out, now crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m not going to become your bitch, Jay.”
“Even better, be my servant.” The cruel glint in his eye tells you everything you need to know that what he has in store for you entails zero clemency. “If I order you to kiss my foot, you shall do so without any complaints.”
“What?” You give him a dumbfounded stare. “Are you crazy─”
He steps closer to you, causing your breath to hitch in your throat at the close proximity between you and him. “If I order you to run errands for me, you shall do so without dilly-dallying.”
“Screw you.” Your nose scrunches up in disgust, your eyes glaring into his dark, dangerous ones. “If you think for a second that I’ll comply, you’re wrong. I’m not going to bend down for you just because you’re pissed off at me for ignoring you.” Daringly, you scoff at him without realising the twisted danger storming in his eyes. “I know you’re desperate for my attention, and for that, you’re nothing but pathetic, Jay.”
You turn your back on him with the intention of heading over to your friends, but his hand latches onto your wrist firmly enough to spin you around as he pulls you back to him. His other hand goes to cradle your jaw, forcing your head to tilt up to meet his eyes while the other slithers around your waist, locking you in place.
“You think you’re so tough now just because you have Jake and Sunghoon wrapped around your fingers?” Each word he says sounds venomous enough to send eerie chills down your spine. “But you see, their presence in your life is only temporary. You may think that you mean everything to them, but you’re wrong. They’ll toss you aside once they find someone else to satisfy their dicks.”
“Stop.” Your lips quiver, hating how his words are beginning to take effect on your incertitude. You attempt to push him away, but his strength outweighs yours. “Jay, let go of me.”
A patronising smile touches his lips, now pulling you closer until your chest hits his. “You know I’m right, and if they like you so much, then where are they now? Why are they not here to protect you from me?”
“Jay!” You whisper, panic spreading across your chest as he moves his face closer until his nose grazes against yours. Your hands are on his chest, trying to push him away. “My friends! They’ll see us!”
“Ah, speaking of your friends,” He grabs your chin firmly to angle your head so you are able to glimpse at your friends, specifically Wonyoung and Winter. “No doubt that they’ll abandon you just as your boy toys will soon, seeing that their goody two shoes turn out to be a whore.”
“Stop.” You hold back your tears as you grit your teeth. “You’ve made your point, okay? Just stop being an insufferable asshole.”
“But I’m not even done yet, baby.” He chuckles lethally softly, turning your head to the side and allowing you to get a better view of their faces. This time, you meet Wonyoung and Winter’s eyes, and your heart sinks at the look in their eyes.
“One by one, the people close to you will abandon you, and you have no choice but to rely on me.” He murmurs, his nose grazing down against your cheek to the back of your ear, whispering darkly in a cold snarl, “Do I give a fuck about what your prissy friends think as they see us like this? No, but it makes everything better, don’t you think?”
“J-Jay.” You implore, all the while, needles after needles continue to pierce into your heart as you watch Wonyoung look away from you, whereas Winter looks conflicted before lowering her gaze.
“Mark my words. I’ll have you bend down for me, one way or another.” He nips at your earlobe, eliciting a small gasp from you. “This is what happens when you decide to fuck with me, and by the time I’m done with you, you know better than to defy me.”
With a feathery kiss on your cheek, he releases you, allowing you to take a breather. His lips remain lingering on your cheek, no matter how much you detest it. You look at him with a hurtful gaze as he smirks at you cruelly, seeing how he relishes the state he brought upon you.
Knowing that you won’t be welcomed at their table, at least not anymore, you make your departure from the establishment while your chest feels constricted.
You hate Jay. You hate the look in your friends’ eyes, but most importantly, you hate that there is a flicker of desire for the man who undoubtedly will bestow his cruelty on you.
Completely distraught as you battle an internal conflict that occurs in your mind, you accidentally bump into someone’s shoulder.
“Sorry.” You mutter to the person numbly.
“Y/N.” You feel his hand on your shoulder, but his voice prompts you to lift your head before recognition flickers in your gaze. “Are you okay?”
“Beomgyu.” You breathe out, giving him a faint smile. “Sorry about that, but I’m okay.”
Despite Beomgyu being in almost all of your classes since he’s majoring in journalism as well, you rarely interacted with him unless you were grouped with him for certain assignments in the past. Not only is he an elite member of the devil’s knight club, but you also recognise him as Heeseung’s close friend since they are often glued together.
Beomgyu is not as scary as the leaders, but enough to intimidate you and have you rethinking whether or not to strike up a conversation with him.
You can see the sincerity in his eyes, despite his apathetic facade. “I heard that you and Jake have reconciled.” He points out. “So does this mean that you’re together with him?”
You heave a sigh, and your shoulders slightly slouch in dejection. “It’s complicated, but we’re good now.”
Beomgyu casts a charming smirk at you. “Fair enough. I mean, associating with any of the knights can be more than complicated.”
You only smile wryly in return. “It’s nice talking to you, Beomgyu, but I have to go.”
“Just a word of advice, Y/N,” You halt your steps just as you walk past him. When you look back at him, inexplicable sentiments gleam in his eyes. “Be careful of who you decide to place your trust in.” He seems hesitant. “And I know they’re my good friends, but they can be deceitful. I’m sure you must’ve already known that they are capable of anything, so just be careful.”
You raise your eyebrow at him. “Why are you telling me this?”
His lips curl into a small smile. “You’re a nice girl, Y/N. I don’t want to see you get hurt because of them. Besides, it would be a pity to lose someone like you to their corruption again.”
“Again? What do you mean by that?” You ask, your curiosity reaches its peak, but Beomgyu only gives you another smile before walking away from you, leaving you to ponder over his words as they echo in the corridors of your mind.
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When the next day arrives for you to head to the campus library, your presumption was correct. Jay verily reeks of desperation for your attention, albeit his method involves pestering you incessantly and following you almost everywhere you go, essentially tyrannising you.
Initially, you had the capacity to tolerate him, hoping that he would eventually get bored by your lack of retaliation against him, but you had no idea that determination flowed in his blood. He would make crude remarks and even throw direct insults at you for being a homie hopper. What ticked you off was that he mentioned a few times how you should have left your religion since you were not worthy in God’s eyes anymore, simply because you’re a dirty whore.
But you are surprised at yourself for not breaking down in front of him despite how each word he spoke only stabbed you in the heart deeper and deeper, because no matter how much you detested his words, you couldn’t deny that there were some truths in them.
The vibration from your phone in your grasp pulls your attention away from your train of thought. Seated on top of the covered toilet bowl, you look down to read his texts with a grimace etched on your face.
JAY: Are you taking a huge dump or something?
JAY: Stop ignoring me. You know that I won’t stop until you agree to become my slave, or you don’t actually cherish your necklace enough?
JAY: Seriously, it’s been twenty minutes since you’ve gone to the toilet. Are you okay? Did you drop your head into the toilet bowl?
JAY:...I know you’re reading this. I’m giving you three minutes, or I’ll get you out of the toilet myself.
You groan lightly. Never have you ever met a guy so persistent and desperate for your attention. You have an inkling that he does have an ulterior motive, but you can’t be bothered enough to find out since you don’t like Jay.
Sure, he smells nice and makes you want to bask yourself in his scent, while his warm touch often sends tingles dancing delightfully on your skin and the handsome smirk on his face sends a familiar flutter to your heart, but you don’t like him, especially with the way he has been treating you. Period.
Shoving your phone inside your pocket, you proceed to exit the cubicle and depart the toilet. Although you have managed to trick Jay into thinking that you went to the other toilet, you ought to be wary of him. That guy is beyond predictable.
Thankfully, there are not many students in your vicinity, and you disregard their odd stares at you as you hide behind a large pillar with your head peeking out to check the coast.
“Y/N?”
A feeble shriek leaves your lips as you spin around, your heart pounding hard against your chest momentarily before you begin to loosen every tension in your muscles at the sight of Beomgyu and Taehyun.
“Oh, it’s just you guys.” You mutter, sighing, as you place a hand over your chest.
“What are you doing?” Beomgyu inquires, smirking lightly, while Taehyun seems to be amused by your odd behaviour. “Hiding from a certain someone, I suppose?”
“Maybe.” You answer vaguely, your eyes darting around your surroundings. “Have you seen Jay around?”
“We saw him outside of the library, and he looked pissed.” Taehyun raises an inquisitive eyebrow at you while there is a glint of mischief in his eye. “Do you want me to get him?”
“No!” You startle them with your loudness before calming yourself down. “I mean, no, thank you. I’ll be on my way, then.”
“Do you want to join us?” Beomgyu asks just as you walk past them. “We’re going to be hanging out in South’s lounge with some of our friends. I heard Wonyoung and Yunjin are there.”
“Oh,” You deflate at the mention of their names. You offer them a small smile. “Thank you for the offer, but I don’t think I’m comfortable since my best friends and I are not on talking terms.”
“What happened?” Taehyun takes a step forward, his keen interest has you scoffing lightly.
Beomgyu smacks at the back of Taehyun’s head, eliciting a wince from the latter. “Read the room, Tae.” Beomgyu turns to you and gives you an apologetic smile. “Don’t mind him."
You chuckle softly, now completely at ease, as you find their dynamic rather interesting. As you glance up, you see the way Beomgyu’s eyes soften at your radiant countenance, but you disregard Taehyun’s wary gaze as he stares behind you.
You begin to feel conscious of Beomgyu’s dark gaze, instinctively fiddling with the hem of your blouse. “I mean, if you guys really want to know─”
“Know what?” His cold voice cuts through the air like a sharp knife from behind. You know it’s too late to make your escape when his arm slithers around your waist to pull you closer to his side.
Your breath hitches in your throat, and you feel his nose nuzzling into your head as though to inhale your scent and to display his territorial claim over you in front of his fellow knights.
“So you tricked me.” Jay murmurs to you, uncaring that he is brazenly holding you intimately like this when Beomgyu and Taehyun are present.
“Jay.” Beomgyu greets him, but you discern a sense of displeasure in his tone. “Are you heading for the South’s lounge as well?”
“Nahh, I have plans with sweet thing here. Gotta teach her a little lesson.” Jay answers, his arm tightening around your waist. You shiver lightly as you hear a noise resembling a growl from his throat. “Take the fucking hint and scramble off. Oh, and if I see you anywhere near her again, you’ll be meeting more than just my fists.”
“Come on.” Taehyun tugs at Beomgyu’s hand, and you can see the reluctance in his eyes before they eventually walk away from you.
“Tryna’ escape from me again, angel?” Jay asks in a sneer before nipping your earlobe. “Get this into your fucking skull that no matter what, I’ll always find you.”
Jay encircles his hand around your wrist before tugging you harshly and pulling you with him to God knows where. His tight grip on your wrist and the sense of urgency in his steps set off trepidation in you. When your eyes flicker to his side profile, something stirs in you upon seeing his chiselled jaw clenched.
“Jay! Wait!” You utter in a panic as soon as he pulls you into one of the classrooms before releasing you. The blinds nearly obscure any sunlight from streaming in, casting shadows across the room.
You hear him locking the door, evoking your fight-or-flight instinct to run further into the classroom, away from you. Your shoulder bag has fallen to the floor, but you are entirely focused on trying to elude him. Thankfully, the size of the classroom is nearly equivalent to the auditorium, where you and your fellow journalism majors often gather for assembly and vice versa.
His dark chuckles echo throughout the walls as soon as you are certain he won’t be able to get to you fast. “You wanna play a cat-and-mouse game, baby?”
“No.” You answer, nearly out of breath due to the running, while your heart remains pounding hard against your chest. Despite the distance, your eyes manage to meet his from across, and you know you are going to be fucked due to how pissed off he is. “I don’t want to play anything with you.”
“Yeah, you do.” His tongue glides across his bottom lip, and you become alarmed by the bloodthirsty glint in his eyes. “Unless you want a severe punishment, then come to me.”
You shake your head in defiance. “If it’s not obvious enough, I don’t trust you.”
“I’m not going to hurt you.” He declares calmly, contradictory to the storms in his eyes. “Just come to me, baby.”
“Stop calling me baby! I’m not your freaking baby!” You exclaim as frustration belies your tone. You clench your fist with your nails digging into your palms, beginning to form the shape of crescents. “First, you kept on insulting me, telling me that I’m a worthless whore who is good for nothing unless I spread my legs, and the next, you called me baby, and you even acted all so jealous when I was with Beomgyu and Taehyun.”
“Keep their names out of your mouth.” He glowers at you, eventually stalking towards you, but instead of being intimidated, you continue to pour out your pent-up emotions to him.
“See what I meant?! I don’t know what the hell you want from me, but if you said that I’m a worthless whore, then why are you still trying to get my attention?! Stop messing around with my sanity, Jay!” You are seething to the point where you fail to realise that he is nearing you. “You act like you hate me, but the next moment, you want me to focus on you. So what─”
Jay grabs your wrist before you can even run, pulling you to him before he hoists you by the waist and settles you on top of the table at the side. Your heart nearly lurches in your chest when he closes the gap between your bodies, standing in between your parted legs.
“Jay─” You gasp as he latches his hand onto your nape, forcing your neck to arch before he leans down to inhale your sweet fragrance with the tip of his nose grazing across your skin.
“Do you know how hot you sound when you get mad, baby?” The heavy rasp projecting in his voice sounds amorous, igniting a familiar arousal in your core. His warm lips on your pulse have your heart racing. “Mmhmm, maybe I should make you mad more often.” He murmurs against your skin before giving it a gentle kiss.
“S-Stop.” Flustered, your hands raise midway to push him away, but his warm lips on your neck feel willowy, and his gentle kisses leave you wanting more, wanting his lips on yours.
“Stop? Are you sure?” His breathy chuckles sound condescending. He trails his kisses to your jaw before nipping it while his hands move underneath your blouse, sending you shivers as he holds you firmly by the waist.
“You can’t do this just to distract me.” You hate how you sound weak, and you hate it even more that you want him in the most intoxicating way.
“Who says I’m distracting you?” Mockery drips from his tone. His hands descend to your thighs, and thanks to your skirt, he squeezes the flesh before hooking your legs around his waist. He migrates to the chair, having you settled on top of his lap.
The abruptness of his movement causes you to fall into him, and a gasp leaves your lips as your core comes into contact with his bulge, eliciting a low groan from him. With your hands on his shoulders for support, you force your upper body to back away from him, but his hand immediately flies to your lower back, holding you in place.
“Just answer me honestly.” You sound a little breathless due to the rising tension that wraps around your throat. Despite your wavering gaze, your eyes search for his. “Do you hate me?”
You almost take his resounding silence as a yes, until he opens his mouth and says, “No.”
Confusion knits at your furrowed eyebrows. “You’re lying. If you didn’t hate me, then you wouldn’t have treated me the way you did.”
“I’m a man of many things, but being a liar is not one of them.” Jay asserts himself, and the sincerity in his eyes puts your mind at ease just slightly.
“I don’t understand you, Jay.” Your admission is followed by your shoulders slouching in defeat. Your eyes turn crestfallen. “What is your endgame? What does it take for you to leave me alone?”
He raises his fingers to caress your cheek delicately while his lips curl into a charming smirk, but his dark eyes remain sinister. “All it takes is for you to acknowledge my existence and for you to be mine.”
Your heart skips a beat. “Be yours? As in, like, being your girlfriend?”
Jay scoffs lightly. “If you still don’t know yet, I don’t do relationships.”
“But I’ve seen you with girls─”
“Flings, or whatever─ I don’t give a fuck about them. I don’t even remember who they were.”
“But why?” You can’t help but indulge your curiosity, which is sparked by this new information about him. “Why are you not interested in relationships? Do you have commitment issues or something?”
It is peculiar. Something so fleeting flickers in his eyes, a sentiment that is contrasting to the familiar storms. “I don’t believe in such things as relationships or even marriage.”
For some reason, the look in your eyes compels him to divulge one of his many vulnerabilities, which he had securely kept hidden in a box where no one would ever uncover the authenticity of who he actually is.
The movement of his tongue gliding across his bottom lip captures your attention, nearly distracting you from what he has to say next. “Especially marriage. It’s bullshit, really.” A muscle ticks in his jaw, and you can see it in his eyes that he seems to be recalling something. “What’s the point of saying those vows of love or whatever they are when, in the end, you’ll end up doing the opposite of what is expected of you as a spouse?”
“Marriage can be wonderful if you are married to the right person.” You tread carefully with your words upon noticing the spark of anger in his eyes.
A lazy smirk touches his lips. “And I’m guessing you came from a happy family filled with unconditional love from your parents.” He nods his head to himself. “Yeah, I guessed right, especially since you’re a fucking goody two shoes who probably didn’t have a single bad day in her entire life. Make sense as to why you’re so bright.”
“I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or another one of your insults.” You murmur, frowning, and your lips unintentionally jut into a pout.
“Neither.”
You roll your eyes at him before attempting to move, but his hold on you remains unyielding. Releasing a frustrated sigh, you cave in. “Fine. I’ll be yours, whatever you meant earlier.” You utter dryly.
“Now, wasn’t that so simple?” You so badly want to punch the smirk on his handsome face.
“My necklace.” You demand. “Since I complied, it’s fair that you return my necklace.”
“It’s not with me, and even if it was, I wouldn’t be giving it to you so soon.” Jay’s response elicits a scoff from you. “Don’t get all attitude on me, baby.”
“Stop calling me that.” You mumble moodily, but this only amuses him.
“I call you whatever I want.” He leans forward to dip his head down to the junction between your neck and collarbone. "Since you’re mine now, I can do whatever I want to you, yeah?”
“That depends.” You become lightheaded by his strong cologne and his hot breath hitting your skin. With his arms around your waist as he pulls you closer, your back is slightly arched, as is your neck, inviting him to place a kiss on your skin.
“Don’t worry. I won’t hurt you, even if you choose to act like a brat. I would never hurt you, baby.” He says so huskily, his lips kissing your neck ever so gently, that it sends butterflies to your tummy. “You smell nice, do you know that?”
“A compliment from you? That’s new.” Your voice comes out breathless as he continues to administer his kisses to your neck.
The humming from his vibration sends you good shivers. “Yeah? You love getting compliments, baby girl?”
His soft tone sounds foreign to you, unlike how he has been speaking to you all this time, yet you know for yourself that you love it. “I do.” You utter meekly, shyness colours your cheeks pink.
He trails his kisses to your jaw before pressing a deep kiss on your cheek. “I’ll give you all the compliments you want, sweet angel.”
It’s like the endearment is a trigger for you as you recall something. You stare at him, a blend of uncertainty and apprehension in your eyes. “You’re that masked man on Devil’s Night, aren’t you? You’re him. Black.”
Something dark casts a shadow on his face. “You’re one clever angel.” His lips unfurl with a soft smirk as he tucks a strand behind your ear.
A shaky breath leaves your lips. “You really scared me that night.”
“I know, I was there.” He cradles your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Still scared of me?”
You remain silent, uncertain of how to answer, but without a doubt, the fear for him is palpable.
“You should be, baby.” He says in a lull, his eyes fluttering cunningly at you. “Because I know the different ways to kill a man.”
One thing is undoubtedly certain: each of them is detrimental. It is still beyond you that the law does not apply to them in whatever crimes they commit, simply because they’re the sons of affluent figures to the government.
“Let’s go.” He caresses your cheek affectionately. “I’m bringing you for a drive.”
But then again, maybe there is something fundamentally wrong with you too, as you lean in further into his touch, desiring to be closer to him the same way you are to Jake and Sunghoon.
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You wish you could turn back time to undo what you said yesterday. Being gullible enough to have fallen for the ephemeral of his charms, you strongly believed that he would no longer be the insufferable asshole, and since delusional is your middle name, you thought you would receive some sort of princess treatment from him.
You thought wrong. But then again, you could only afford to wish. Lo and behold, the consequences of your actions.
As soon as Karina swings the door open, her body jolts in genuine surprise when she sees the lack of colour on your scowling face, looking as though you had been through hell.
“Don’t ask.” Even your voice sounds oddly dead, with no traces of warmth.
Karina smacks her lips together before stepping aside to allow you to enter. “Where have you been? It’s only 12 in the afternoon, and you’d usually come out of your cave only after 12.”
You hear her following from behind as you step into the kitchen, heading straight for the refrigerator to find something cool to quench your thirst and hopefully quell your anger. “Jay.”
Even the mere mention of his name leaves a bad taste on your tongue. After grabbing a mineral of ice water, you turn around to meet Karina’s calculated gaze as you proceed to drink.
“So Winter was right. You got close with Jay as well. But why?” She asks, bewildered. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I’m worried for you. You do realise that he’s known for his bad temperament. What if he hurts you?”
You scoff lightly, placing the half-empty bottle on the counter. “Trust me. I asked myself the same question. But don’t worry, he won’t be able to hurt me.”
“You don’t know that.” Now Karina is starting to sound like Wonyoung and Yunjin.
Grappling with your emotions, you release a shaky sigh, your fingers skimming through your tousled locks. “Look, I had a really shitty morning running stupid errands for Jay with a lack of sleep. The last thing I need is for you to start berating me for the same reason Wonyoung and Yunjin did.” Your brusque manner in the way you speak irks Karina.
“Sue me for being worried about my best friend.” Karina crosses her arms over her chest, and a scowl etches on her face. “Just because you’re close to Sunghoon, Jake, and Jay now doesn’t earn you a free pass to act all bitchy and think you’re above us.”
Your tongue hits the roof of your mouth as you maintain a glaring contest with Karina. “Like I said, I’m not in the mood.” You brush past her coldly, but her next remark stops you.
“Wonyoung and Yunjin were right. You’re different now.” Karina’s tone belies disappointment and disbelief. “I know what I said before about you being a grown woman who can make her own choices, but I was wrong. Yes, you can have fun and do all the things you’ve missed out on, but I didn’t expect that change in you to affect us in how you treat us.”
You scoff in sheer disbelief, now glaring at her with familiar resentment. “It’s always the same old speech with you girls. And excuse me, but when have I ever treated you girls badly?”
“See? Now you’re just being a bitch.” Karina rolls her eyes. “Just because you had a bad morning with Jay, now you’ve decided to show an attitude. This is exactly what I mean when I say you’ve changed for the worse.”
“I’m sick and tired of having to tell you girls again and again that I have not changed.” You clench your fist. “Do you know how suffocating it is whenever any of you tell me that you’re worried for me just because I’ve associated myself with the leaders?”
“Your best friends being worried for you simply prove that they still care for you, Y/N.” Karina retorts coldly. “But you don’t have to worry about any of us worrying for you anymore. You can do whatever the hell you want since that’s what you wanted, right? Freedom.”
With an angry huff, Karina storms away to her room at the same time you do. Your head is fogging in a whirlwind of the emotions that you grapple with. Slamming the door loudly, you head for the bathroom to wash your face.
With ragged breaths, you slowly lift your head and stare at your own reflection. Your eyes begin to scrutinise the contours of your face, particularly the noticeable eyebags due to the lack of sleep last night. Honestly, you look like a mess. You look exhausted. You look different.
You shake your head at the words you’ve heard from them and at the fact that you have been a total bitch towards your best friends. Yeah, you definitely need to catch up on some sleep and replenish yourself. 
Just as you exit from the bathroom, your phone rings inside your pocket, eliciting a loud sigh from you as soon as you see the caller ID. Knowing better than to reject him again, you answer.
“What more do you want?” You ask rather brusquely, not bothered to conceal your irritation for him.
“Enough with the attitude already.” Jay’s callous tone doesn’t even deter you. “I need you to buy some cigarettes and a few sojus. Some of my house members will be coming over later.”
“Why can’t you do it yourself?” You scowl as you head for your bed, which has been calling for you. “Or why can’t you ask anyone else in your circle of friends?"
“Because I said so. Plus, you’re technically my servant now since the moment you voluntarily agreed, or have you forgotten?”
“So you’re implying that it’s my fault for not knowing better?” You grit your teeth, holding back the tears from emerging. “It’s not my fault that I thought you’d─"
“That I’d what?” His dark tone denotes a warning. “That I would treat you in a way you thought I would just because I said you’re mine? You’re pathetic for being desperate to want the scraps of my affection.”
You swallow down the humiliation while tears are accumulating in your eyes. “Screw you. I’m not going to do what you asked me to. Find someone else to be your servant.”
“I wasn’t asking.” Something in his voice sends you the bad shivers. “Just because I said that I wouldn’t hurt you doesn’t mean that I have no alternatives to make your life miserable.”
“So you’re threatening me now?” You hope that he doesn’t hear the crack in your voice.
“Oh, angel, this is me being lenient to you. You haven’t even seen the worst I could do.” You can imagine the devilish smirk on his face just by his tone. “Now be a good little servant and do as you were told.”
He hangs up the call before you can scream at him. You toss your phone haphazardly aside, lying on the bed with your limbs sprawling. Your eyebrows are softly knitted as you bite down your bottom lip hard while tears cascade down your cheeks.
You can only afford to plead silently to God that you’ll have enough endurance to tolerate Park freaking Jeongseong.
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The timing Jay told you to reach the palace granted you a scant amount of sleep, and as a result, you feel slightly lethargy, exacerbating the weariness in every part of your body since you did wake up at six in the morning upon having to answer Jay’s incessant calling.
By the time you nearly reach the opened door, your whole arms are beseeching for respite from having to carry four weighty plastic bags. Apparently, when Jay meant ‘a few sojus’, you had no idea that twenty bottles were considered ‘a few’ in his dictionary, other than the ten boxes of cigarettes.
Inviting yourself inside, you hear some commotion echoing throughout the area you are in, and you have a feeling that his house members are somewhere above the second or third floor. Recalling your text with Jay, in which he specifically told you to go as soon as you arrived, you drag your feet towards the flight of stairs and release a weary sigh.
You want to sue yourself for even thinking that Jay would turn out to be the gentleman you thought he was.
“Y/N?” Beomgyu’s voice from behind stops you from making the first step. You turn around to see him with Taehyun, both seem a tad surprised to see you here.
“Hey, guys.” You manage to muster a smile, albeit a tight one. “So I’m guessing you’re Jay’s house members?”
“Unfortunately, since our leader has quite a temper.” Taehyun nods his head, a few chuckles leaving his lips.
You divert your attention to Beomgyu, noticing the way his eyes flicker down at your hands. Before you know it, he steps forward to snatch the four plastic bags from you, carrying them with ease.
“Oh, you didn’t have to.” You mutter, feeling a tad flabbergasted, yet you feel gratitude for the guy.
“Nonsense. They’re heavy for you.” Beomgyu frowns, but he doesn’t seem to have any issues, as he carries them with ease. “And I’m guessing Jay told you to buy these?”
“Demanded.” You correct him, eliciting a hum of agreement from Beomgyu, whereas Taehyun offers to carry two plastic bags before the three of you proceed to ascend to the second floor.
“It’s not our leader if he isn’t being as demanding as usual.” Taehyun rolls his eyes. “Anyway, will you be hanging out with us?”
“I don’t think so.” You state unsurely. “But Jay did tell me that he wanted to meet me first.”
“You should join us.” Beomgyu tells you with a charming grin. “Don’t worry about the other knights. They won’t be able to do anything to you as long as we’re by your side.”
“Agreed.” Taehyun’s firm tone has you contemplating. “Plus, there is an amazing arcade here, which I’m sure you’ll like.”
“I’ll see first. That is, if Jay doesn’t piss me off.” You give them a brief smile, and when your eyes divert to the sight before you, you finally realise that you have reached where most of them have gathered.
Most of them are familiar faces to you, considering that they have tried harassing you in the past, but you had your best friends to defend you against them and provide you with the moral support you needed. Now, ambivalence hangs in the air around you while dread crawls onto your skin as soon as your presence garners their attention.
“Hey, look who we have here, fellas.” One of them whistles before a series of intimidation howls and barks emit from the others, to which you inwardly cringe but are not entirely surprised. Typical indecorous behaviour of theirs.
Not only do their predatory gazes seem to suffocate you, but the strong musky scent and the thick grey smoke teeming in the atmosphere are just as unpleasant. Plus, there is a distinct smell to which your eyes dart at a group of them at a corner, no doubt ingesting substances that you know will render them in a delirious state.
Your nose scrunches at the familiar smell of sojus, reminding you of the times when your best friends were inebriated and completely knocked out in the living room with bottles of sojus scattered by the coffee table.
“Guys, play nice.” Taehyun warns them, alerting you to their oddly protective stance as they stand next to you.
“We are!” A sophomore who goes by Haneul exclaims before shooting you a wink. “Y/N! A quick question for you. Is it true that you’re a homie hopper now?”
You blink your eyes. “Pardon?”
“Don’t act so innocent now.” Another member, whom you vaguely remember as Sujin, remarks snidely. “We know that you’re secretly a whore who loves to spread her legs for any dicks.”
“So much for being a Catholic girl.” A few of them snicker. Their condescending behaviour towards you only disheartens your spirit.
“That’s enough.” Beomgyu glowers at them. “You better treat our lovely guest with respect.”
“Respect?” The blond-haired guy scoffs. “Why should we show respect to her when she doesn’t have any self-respect?”
You blink your tears away before tugging at Beomgyu’s sleeves, drawing his attention. “I’ll get going first. Tell Jay that I wasn’t feeling well.” You tell him in a whisper, and gratitude washes over you as he nods his head.
“Hey, slut! Do you think you can suck my dick too?” They continue to throw rude remarks at you amidst the snickering. “Come on! Be a good whore and let us use your pussy!”
“Fuck off, Ren!” Beomgyu’s tone sounds pissed as soon as you turn around with the intention to flee this intoxicating environment.
You blink your tears away as you advance forward, but the sound of heavy yet deliberate footsteps approaching you has you slowly lifting your head. Your blurry vision doesn’t allow you to decipher the expression on his face, but you can definitely discern his aura, sending you involuntary chills.
Recalling what he said to you, you lower your gaze and continue to make your way out, but just as you walk past him, he grabs your hand firmly enough to halt your steps.
“What did you just say to her?” Jay asks calmly, and that calmness you know is a deception, because as soon as you get a clearer vision of his countenance, you notice his chiselled jaw locked and his cheekbones prominent.
At once, the atmosphere shifts while the temperature drops. But the silence only seems to aggravate Jay’s brewing anger as he finally snaps. “I asked a fucking question. What did you say to my woman?”
Shit, your heart wasn’t supposed to be skipping a beat. You attempt to tame the butterflies fluttering in your tummy, but the way his hand holds yours firmly yet so tenderly with his thumb caressing the back of your hand only intensifies the flutters.
“W-We were just stating facts.” One of them speaks up. “And we’re right! She’s whoring around with Jake and Sunghoon, and now you!”
“A Catholic slut!” Another knight remarks.
With your head hanging low, you have no idea what expression Jay is wearing, but your heart pounds harder as he pulls you closer to him, his arm slithering around your waist and his fingers tilting your chin up, forcing you to meet his eyes.
“I won’t let them get away with insulting you, baby.” Jay’s tone sounds foreignly tender, which matches his soft gaze. “Tell me, what kind of punishment do you want me to give them?”
You bite your lip in uncertainty. Although you detest them, you’re worried that Jay will inflict grave punishments on them after knowing what he is capable of. Instead of responding to his question, you shake your head, whimpering, “I want to go back.”
Jay heaves a sigh before looking at Beomgyu and Taehyun, beckoning them to set the goods aside. His sharp gaze settles on the others. “I’ll deal with the rest of you later. Now, drop down and give me a hundred push-ups.”
“What?!” They break into collective disbelief. “You can’t be serious!”
“I’m not fucking laughing about it either, am I?” Jay smiles sardonically. “Beomgyu and Taehyun will give you broken bones if any of you stop.”
“But we didn’t even do anything!”
“Oh, yeah, you did. You insulted my woman.” Jay takes you by surprise as he leans down to place a feathery kiss on your cheek. His arm around your waist tightens. “My angel baby.”
Oh, you are most definitely and completely out of your mind to feel giddy over this, over the guy who has ever shown you the colour red.
“Drop down, now.” Beomgyu sounds delightful, and when you turn to look at him, your eyes widen at the metal baseball bat in his clutch as well as the dark glint in his eyes — nothing to how he looked at you earlier with kindness.
As soon as they drop down with loud groans, you break yourself apart from Jay’s warmth and proceed to walk in haste. You need to get away from Jay, or else these flutters won’t stop.
“Y/N, wait.”
Surprisingly, you halt your steps, now reaching the first floor. You don’t turn around as you hear him approaching from behind. “We can hang out somewhere beyond their reach if you want─”
“Stop it.” Your voice barely above a whisper, yet it is enough to silence him. Facing him, you scoff out a derisive chuckle, holding back your tears. “You don’t get to act as if nothing happened. You don’t even have the right to get all protective and defensive against them when you’re just the same!”
Jay steps forward, his hands attempting to reach out for you. “Don’t be like this, angel─”
“You’re so cruel, Jay.” Your voice cracks, the vulnerability seeping through the broken dams. Your hurtful gaze does something to his cold heart, and he never thought he would feel a sense of guilt. “You treated me unjustly and insulted me, but the next moment, you’re sweet and gentle.”
Jay allows your words to soak into his fucked-up mind. Your eyes are glistening with tears, and miraculously, they don’t fall. Your pink lips, which he has been dying to kiss, tremble with palpable sadness. Something seems to be squeezing his heart, making his chest feel constricted.
Why the fuck is he feeling this way? Guilt. He does not feel guilt, and he is incapable of bearing humane emotions.
“I tried giving you the benefit of doubt, and I was foolish to be hopeful that you wouldn’t turn out as bad as I thought you were.” You continue to pour out your pent-up emotions, all the while maintaining composure. “I’m a human too, Jay. I have feelings, and my sanity is not something you can toy with.”
Still, Jay yearns for you, grabbing your arm while his other hand cradles your cheek. “Baby.” The endearment just comes out naturally from his mouth, and fuck, does it feel so right. As his eyes trace the contours of your face, he knows that he is right about one thing.
You are his baby. His woman. His to keep, protect, cherish, and fuck.
His softened gaze almost compels you to lean into him, but your strong will impels you to push him away. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this with you anymore.” You tell him in a broken whisper before turning your back on him to make your way to the entrance.
A part of you feels disappointed that he doesn’t make an effort to chase after you, but you immediately dispel that feeling. You must not cave in just because he has that look in his eyes. Yearning.
The gust of a cold breeze hits you as soon as you step outside, but then you find yourself halting your steps. You curl your hand into a fist, refraining yourself from caving into your yearning to return to his arms and hoping that he’d change for the better.
But your moment of incertitude is shattered by the sound of your phone ringing in your pocket. Oddly, uneasiness churns in your tummy when you see your mother’s caller ID. With a shaky breath, you answer.
“Mom?”
“Y/N Kang.” Oh, that tone. She rarely, like, rarely ever uses that tone unless she is truly pissed off. “Do you need to be sent to the Catholic boarding school? Is that what you want?”
You flinch at the sharpness of her voice, that sounds almost painful to you. “M-Mom, I don’t understand─”
“Wonyoung and Yunjin informed me of your misconduct.” You hate how cold she sounds — no traces of the usual warmth and affection. “I’m deeply disappointed in you. Your father and I trusted you enough that you wouldn’t deviate from what had been expected of you. What have you become, Y/N Kang?”
“I swear, Mom, I’m still the same!” You tell her, and your voice shakes frantically while tears return to your eyes, but for a different reason. You hate disappointing your parents.
“Your misconduct is unacceptable, Y/N Kang! You could’ve gotten pregnant! A baby out of wedlock! This won’t be tolerated anymore!” Your mother tells you harshly. “I refuse to be known to have a whore of a daughter!”
“Mom.” You whimper out, allowing tears to make their descent. “Mom, please. I’m sorry.”
“Apologising won’t undo your sins! We taught you better than to behave deplorably.” Your heart sinks at the sheer disgust in her tone. “I won’t permit you to come home unless you prove to us that you have changed for the better.”
“Mom, wait!” But your mother hangs up on you, shattering your heart even more.
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You feel numb, really. You want to shed more tears, but you can’t seem to. It’s like there’s a hole being punctured into your chest, all hollow. Your eyes dart around your surroundings, finding yourself in a desolate hallway while there is the faint sound of a rowdy commotion, most likely from the knights.
Yes, you have returned to the palace after long contemplation. There is absolutely no way you are going back to your dorm, not after what your mother revealed to you. You can’t believe that your best friends did this. You want to hate them, but how do you hate the very people who have been incredibly supportive since day one? That was until recently.
“Y/N.” You look up to find Heeseung ambling towards you. Uneasiness coils in your tummy as your eyes meet his dark ones with inexplicable danger swimming in the depths. “What are you doing here?”
You muster bravery despite harbouring a familiar fear for him. “I’m looking for Jay.”
Heeseung cocks his eyebrow, and dare you say attractively so. “Come.” He beckons you to follow him, and you quietly comply, trailing behind him. But you find it odd that he doesn’t question you further.
Heeseung guides you further into another hallway where a few doors are arrayed on each side. You can’t help but wonder what room each door leads to since you are conscious of the fact that there are plenty of more rooms available.
“He’s inside.” Heeseung tells you just as he halts his step, prompting you to look at the ajar door.
You release a shaky breath, mustering a small smile at him. “Thank you.” But you remain rooted to the ground, hesitancy pulling you back.
Battling an internal conflict, you fail to feel Heeseung’s warmth next to you until your shoulder touches his chest. Your breath hitches in your throat, feeling his fingers stroking down your back while his hot breath fans your earlobe.
“You should know that this is his torture room, where he interrogates his list of victims.” Heeseung murmurs softly, but you are no stranger to the danger in his tone. “No one should ever dare enter unless they want to meet their demise. Are you really sure you want to see him, sweetheart?”
Involuntary shivers run down your spine. “I’m sure.”
You go frigid as he buries his nose into the side of your head, inhaling your shampoo scent with a hum. “If you say so, sweetheart, I’ll be right across the room if you need me.” He pulls away from you, his hands on your waist, to turn you to face the door. “Go ahead. I’m sure he’ll make you an exception.” He says in a lull, and like a sailor being hypnotised by a siren, you comply, taking tentative steps towards the ajar door.
You push open the door before any second thoughts appear in your mind. Your heart pounds harder against your chest at the sight of Jay in a white tank top, which displays his full arm tattoos. He is seated on the couch, sweatpants-clad legs spread leisurely, while his head is rested on the back of the couch. Grey smoke seems to be leaving his lips, and your eyes trail down to the familiar e-cigarette in his grasp.
Jay doesn’t seem to notice your presence yet, so you take this chance to scan the room, which brings you eerie goosebumps to your skin, as does the faint metallic blood smell that pervades your senses. There are different knives set in a transparent glass box at the side, and other tortured objects such as metal bats, brass knuckles, handcuffs, and damn─ you so regret entering this zone that obviously screams danger.
Just as you take a step back, a faint sound of the floor creaking pulls him away from his rumination as he lifts his head up. There is a flicker of surprise in his eyes. “Y/N.”
It is clear to you that he doesn’t expect to see you this soon. Your gaze meets his, and there it is— the familiar look in his eyes when he looked at you earlier. Despite the danger etched on these walls and the fact that you should be running away from the man who has brought nothing but misery for the past few days, you find yourself walking towards him.
Taken aback by you, Jay rises from the couch while the vape has fallen from his grasp. He refrains from pulling you to him, desiring to feel your warmth. His eyes search for yours, noticing how hollow they are.
“I thought you left.” He mutters. .
“I thought so too.” You say quietly, now inching closer to him.
You want him to look at you the way he did before, full of animosity, coldness, and disgust, but the tenderness in his gaze seems to have an impact on you more than it does.
You have no idea why you chose to seek him instead of Jake or Sunghoon, but your heart has led you to him.
“Y/N─”
“Jay.” You cut him off with a sharp sob, and, alas, the dams have crumbled. The tears are unrelenting as they cascade down your cheeks. Without thinking twice, you latch your arms around him. His body goes frigid beneath your warmth.
Jay, who has never had a girl come back to him crying, has no idea what to do. He remains motionless, only allowing you to soak his shirt in the tears leaking from your eyes as you weep into him.
“What happened? Did they hurt you?” He nearly growls out at the thought of his house members insulting or even hurting you.
You shake your head, and when you feel his arms wrapping around you, you sob harder. The tempestuous emotions come crashing down on you all at once, rendering you overwhelmed. You hug him tighter, seeking comfort in his warmth in spite of the darkness you know emanates from him. Ironically, you feel safe in his arms, which feel like an impenetrable shield. 
“Want to tell me what’s wrong?” He asks, his hands holding your shoulders to pull you away from him to get a look at your tear-stained face.
“I need a drink.” You manage to utter in between sobs.
Jay presses his lips thinly, and although he is puzzled by your outburst, he complies, now settling you on the couch before moving to the side to grab two bottles of soju from the table. He opens one for you.
You grab the bottle from his grasp with a numb utterance of ‘thanks’. Without any hesitation, you begin to down the content, your throat burns due to the liquor, and yet you don’t stop drinking, seeking solace in the bittersweet liquor.
“Slow down, angel, or you’ll choke.” He breathes out, in awe at how you down the bottle in one go and finish off.
Breathing heavily, you wipe your lips with the back of your hand. You place the empty bottle on the ground and look at him with hollow eyes. “I need another.”
Jay should be worried, but the wickedness in him blithely indulges you, watching for another time as you throw your head to the back, downing the content that burns your throat.
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Jay is torn between finding great delight in your unveiling misery and a foreign sensation that he has been trying to suppress within him ─ sympathy.
His face remains impassive, consuming his third soju of the night. His ears perk up at the sound of your continual snivelling. He has no idea how long it has been since your return took him by surprise, but probably long enough to have heard your drunk yet teetering weeping that often shatters the semblance of tranquilly that enveloped both of you.
As much as Jay wants to pry, his instincts hold him back from potentially aggravating the situation. Plus, he has an inkling that something must’ve happened in regards to your family affairs since, in your drunken stupor, you kept muttering weakly in a slur about, “I’m sorry, Momma,” and “I promise I’ll be good again.”
Since words have recently circulated among the knights about you being the promiscuous Catholic girl who had been covertly sleeping around with Jake and Sunghoon, there is no doubt that they have reached the ears of the ones whom you call best friends. After all, most of them, specifically Wonyoung and Yunjin, are closely associated with his fellow knights. So if his presumption is correct, then they must’ve informed your parents about it.
Jay holds back a scoff. He has always despised your circle of friends, also known as the It girls. The reason behind his hatred is solely because of their hypocrisy. They claimed to detest the devil’s knight club, and yet they are heavily involved with some knights, blatantly and covertly. 
When Jay pulls himself out of his thoughts, he hears no sound from you and feels relief sweep across his chest. The sound of your cries just fuels his resentment for your so-called best friends, spurring him to expose their hypocrisy with the most heinous execution he can ever inflict on them.
With the cigarette caged between his teeth, he proceeds to light the stick before inhaling the lethal substance that often salves his temperament. Holding the burning stick in between his fingers, he pulls it from his lips before puffing out the smoke, watching as the grey wafts towards you.
His callous eyes scrutinise your doleful countenance, completely unbothered by the smoke in the air around you. The rims of your lower lids are noticeably red and puffy from shedding tears that moistened your rosy cheeks while your eyes are staring into oblivion.
The sound of your sniffles captures his attention as his gaze falls to the red flushing your face, watching as you bring the half-empty bottle of soju to your quivering yet swollen pink lips before you down the liquid that you have grown addicted to.
“Are you done crying?” Jay asks, his tone holding indifference, but oddly, you don’t feel affected. “Hoon was right. You’re such a crybaby.”
Although Jay has no ill-intent in his remark, you construe it as an insinuation of him demeaning you, springing tears to your eyes before staring at him with your quivering lips.
“Haven’t you had enough of tormenting me?” Your voice shakes palpably with a bundle of emotions threatening to implode. “I did everything you asked me to, and yet, it’s never enough.”
Alas, the waterworks you have been holding back erupt for the ninth time, with tears streaming down your already moistened cheeks and broken sobs leaving your lips.
Jay’s eyes widen, and this time, he is completely taken aback by the sight of you weeping again, especially with the lucid misery that sheens in your glossy yet beautiful eyes as you stare into his eyes.
“Shit─ I didn’t mean─” Usually, when he makes a girl cry, it is usually out of pleasure, but to see you cry because of what he said instead renders him panicked, which is entirely bizarre to him. “Fuck, don’t cry─”
“Do you enjoy seeing me like this?” You cut him off, refusing to listen to a word that leaves his mouth. “Was that why you tormented me in the first place?” A hiccup emits from you, and Jay has had to hold himself back from interrupting you because of how adorable you hiccuped. You attempt to wipe the tears away from your leaking eyes as you continue to blabber. “Of course you enjoyed it. You’re probably enjoying yourself even more now that almost all of my loved ones have decided to forsake me─”
Jay silences you when he scoots closer to you to cradle your dampened cheek, forcing you to look at his stern eyes that tinge with softness. “Don’t cry, please.”
Just hearing his plea is enough to cease your weeping, your widened eyes staring at him in utter shock. Your pulse begins to go erratic as you discern a rising tension in the once tranquil atmosphere.
Jay’s tongue glides across his bottom lip before biting it, to which your eyes flicker down. “Just don’t cry anymore─ shit, I don’t know how to comfort someone.” He cusses lowly, seeming to be annoyed at himself. His eyes return to yours, and something foreign stirs within him. “They’re wrong, you know?”
“What?” You feel breathless, and you have no idea whether it’s from the excessive weeping or the palpable tension.
“Your best friends, and the ones who decided to forsake you.” He murmurs, his thumb gently brushing your soft cheek while his eyes zero in on your crystalline eyes that seem to be drawing him in. “Fuck them. Who needs them when you have me?”
Your breath catches in your throat at his vulgarity. “B-But they’re my─”
“And you still insist?” He scoffs lowly. “Can’t you see, angel? They’re a bunch of hypocritical bitches. They don’t even deserve to be called your best friends.”
“Stop talking bad about them.” You mutter, yet your mind is battling an internal conflict.
A smirk touches his lips while the scintilla of danger flickers in his gaze. “Oh, sweet angel, still the saint one who has the goodness in seeing the good in others.” The gentleness beneath his touch feels different on your skin, feeling a little sinister, a little dark.
Before you can speak, his fingers descend to your chin, forcing you to lower your bottom lip as you open your mouth. Without looking away from your eyes, he takes another drag from his burning cigarette before inching his face closer to yours and puffing out the smoke from his lips.
Your heart pounds harder against your chest as you remain pliant for him, tasting the mist of tobacco that infuses your cavern, and yet at the same time, your heart flutters as he cradles your cheek a little tenderly while continuing to transfer the toxicant to you.
Once he’s done, his lips curve upward. “Close your mouth and play with the smoke before blowing it out.” You heed his instructions, your tongue moving around with the smoke in your cavity before puffing it out. “Good girl." Butterflies are in your stomach at his praise.
You don’t even have the time to process anything as he leans in and smashes his lips against yours, instantly allowing you to have a taste of the soju on his lips. Your hands instinctively latch onto his neck, kissing him with equal fervour.
The kiss feels different than the kisses you shared with Sunghoon and Jake. Jay’s kiss is a combination of Sunghoon and Jake’s ─ hard with fervent yet tenderly slow. 
Your heart flutters as his lips move against yours passionately, as though to savour them for as long as he can. His tongue prods gently into your mouth, to which you welcome him, allowing him to meet with your wet muscle.
The tension in the air persists as it is laden with lust, arousing the familiar heat in your core. You moan breathily into him as he continues to explore and devour you. His cock twitches beneath the confines upon hearing the sweet sound from you that he swallows.
The weight of his body sends you into an imbalance as you find yourself nearly falling to the back, but with his hand holding your back, he gently lowers you on the couch without breaking the lip lock.
Pinning you against the couch, his hand is placed next to your head while the other moves underneath your shirt to caress your bare waist, sending you shivers. Just as he pulls away from your chasing lips, you emit a whine of disappointment.
“Jay─“
“I’m right here, baby.” He says in between bated breaths as he leans his forehead against yours, fighting against his demons that desire and devour you whole. His lips press another gentle kiss on yours before murmuring, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You won’t?” You whisper, and the raw vulnerability that seeps from you tempts him to lock you away from everyone and keep you all to himself.
“I won’t.” He reaffirms, now trailing his lips to your cheek, kissing your tears away while your arms remain hooked around his neck. He presses one last kiss on your lips before lowering himself, and your heart goes racing in anticipation.
“Jay.” Your cheeks turn rosier as he hikes your skirt to your stomach, and his fingers go hooking around the string of your underwear before pulling it down and tossing aside.
Your breath hitches in your throat at the primal lust in his eyes as he returns his gaze to your face. Amidst the lust, the heartache remains glittering in your pretty eyes. “Let me take away your pain, baby.” He rasps, and his husky voice goes straight to your throbbing pussy.
“But Heeseung might hear us.” You whimper, attempting to close your legs, but Jay’s strong grip on your thighs hinders you from doing so.
The familiar callous smirk on his fine countenance evokes an odd sense of excitement in you. “Then let him hear. Let him hear how good I’m making you feel.”
You open your mouth to make a protest as he lowers himself to your lower region with his arms hooked around your thighs to spread them, but as soon as you feel a warm, wet muscle taking a long lick of your clit, your hips buck up at the sensation while a breathy moan leaves your lips.
His grip on your thighs tightens as he drags his tongue tantalisingly slowly down your slit before delving into your already wet folds. His administration starts off slow and tender, with his wet muscle exploring and massaging your walls, to which you grow impatient, desiring him to ravage you.
“Jay.” You moan in between whines, your hands descending to grab his hair in an attempt to push him further into your pussy. “More.”
His cock twitches at the sound of your pretty moan. Smirking lightly, he does what you wanted, pulling you roughly by the thighs and delving even deeper, which has you gasping at the length of his tongue.
He groans lowly, sending vibrations to your needy pussy as you tug the roots of his strands tight, practically using his face to ride your pussy on.
The alcohol in your system has long since affected you, rendering you inebriated, and with the pleasure he is giving you, everything feels sensational. You spread open your legs more while keeping the momentum of grinding your hips against his face. Your back is arched as you roll your eyes at the friction of his nose rubbing your clit each time you grind.
With each passing second, you can hear the wetness coming from your slick as he continues to ravage you without taking a moment to breathe, getting addictive to your insatiable taste.
Unhooking his arm from your thigh, his hand searches for yours. Your heart flutters as he intertwines his fingers with yours, gripping it tight. Retracting his tongue from your wet cavity, his lips immediately latch onto your aching clit, suck deliciously, and draw little patterns that hurl you to the edge at how sensitive you are, with the knot twisting in your tummy becoming unbearable.
“Jay! I’m cumming!” You announce in a moan, your hand squeezing his. Your thighs slightly tremble from the intensity of his ravaging you like it’s his last, his tongue invading your pulsating cunt while his nose keeps rubbing your clit, sending you to the brink of your impending orgasm before your body convulses as you come undone.
Jay greedily slurps your essence, which tastes absolutely divine on his tongue, eliciting a low growl coming from his chest while his eyes darken. Though he is absolutely turned on, he desires to draw more orgasm from you solely for his own pleasure.
Your chest heaves up and down, whimpers leaving your lips as soon as you feel his tongue licking a long stripe in between your drenched folds. “Jay, no more.” You plead, already exhausted by a single orgasm.
“I’m not done yet, angel.” His husky voice gives you shivers. A pained whimper elicits from you when he bites down your sensitive nub, and yet, it turns you on even more. He bites for another before soothing it with his tongue, licking and sucking, which only reignites your arousal while your bundle of nerves is set aflame once more.
You whine as he withdraws from you, prompting you to lift your head and see him spitting a glob of his saliva onto your clit, watching as it trails down to your drenched folds before diving in to lick it back up until he stops at your clit, just harshly sucking it.
“Oh, fuck!” You cry out as you throw your head back, your fingers immediately tangling with his soft strands, tugging at them as you grind on his face while he resumes devouring you with such intensity that drives you to the edge once more, your thighs trembling from the sensitivity as you come undone violently for the second time.
You sob softly, tears trickling down your cheeks as you attempt to push him away, his rough and unrelenting administration on your drenched pussy becoming unbearable. You squeeze your thighs around his head, but that only seems to anger him as he withdraws from you.
Your breath hitches in your throat as he hovers on top of you, your eyes widening at his glistening nose, mouth, and chin from your cum, as well as the predatory glint in his dark eyes.
“You’re going to take whatever I give you.” He says huskily, his face leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss, allowing you to taste yourself as he forces his tongue into your mouth.
Your hands tentatively make their ascent to his neck, but he has other plans as he grabs your wrists effortlessly with one hand and pins them above your head, denying you from touching him or even escaping.
Breaking the messy lip lock, Jay trails his wet kisses down your neck before stopping at a specific spot that has you moaning breathily and distracting you as his fingers descend to your sensitive pussy.
“Jay!” You gasp out at the abrupt sensation of his fingers plunging into your pussy. Your hands form into fists in his impenetrable hold.
“Scream my name louder, babe.” He rasps against your skin, picking up the pace as he finger-fucks you. He ignores your soft, broken cries in between wanton moans, which fuels his wickedness by driving you to the edge of your sanity.
“Jay! Please! No more!” You shake your head with tears leaking from your eyes, but your hips are grinding against him as you ride his fingers like you’re riding his cock, which brings a condescending smirk to his lips.
“Baby can take it.” He croons to you, kissing you softly on the lips, silencing your cries. “Yeah, fuck yourself on my fingers just like that. My angel baby is doing so well.” He rasps against your swollen, wet lips while your heart does a little leap at his praise.
The obscene squelching sound emitting from your drenched pussy, along with his thumb occasionally rubbing your clit only intensifies the knot in your tummy as it tightens. 
Your jaw goes slack while your eyes go white at the delirious pleasure as he curls his fingers, hitting that specific spot deliciously. He can feel your walls tightening around his digits, signifying your impending orgasm.
He leans down to kiss your arched neck before slotting over to your parted lips. “Cum for me, baby. That’s it.” He breathes out, whispering into your moaning mouth while his digits go still into your pulsating cunt as your juice coats around them.
Feeling your thighs trembling from the overstimulation, he presses a kiss on your temple before whispering sweet nothings into your ear, all the while slowly withdrawing his fingers from your spent pussy, which are coated in your cum, and releasing your wrists.
Your heavy eyelids slowly flutter close while you breathe heavily from the aftermath, but the butterflies remain in their wake as soon as you feel his lips on your cheek, kissing you deeply with palpable affection.
His lips hover above yours before giving you a tender kiss that has you reciprocating deeply while you grasp a flickering energy to hook your arms around his neck. “Feel better now, angel?” He murmurs against your lips.
You merely hum in response, unable to find any energy to speak. You flutter your eyes open as soon as you feel him moving away from you, eliciting a whine from you, needing him to hold you.
“Hold on, angel. I'm just going to clean you up.” Jay tells you, grabbing some tissues before returning to you. With gentleness, he wipes away any excess of your cum on your skin.
This time, there is a genuine tranquilly in the silence that envelops you and him, and a sense of trust feels profound, lulling you to trust the man who had given you reasons for you to evade him.
Despite your legs being slightly sore, you slowly raise your body vertical, watching as he throws the tissues in the bin at the side. “Wonyoung and Yunjin informed my mother about it.” You break the ice, and your voice sounds hoarse with a familiar lump of emotions stuck in your throat. “They hate me now.”
With your head hanging low, the warmth of his palm on your cheek prompts you to look up and meet his eyes. Truly, Jay is an enigma. His softened eyes hold such affection for you, and yet you can discern the raging storms in the depths of his eyes.
“I don’t hate you.” His sincerity shines through, making it impossible for you to harbour any mistrust for him. He leans his forehead against yours, his thumb caressing your cheek. “You have me, baby. You don’t need them.”
You tuck your bottom lip in between your teeth. “But what if I do?”
Jay puts an end to your doubt with a kiss on your lips, a kiss that has you melting against him as you loop your arms around his neck while his hands grip your bottoms to move you on his lap.
“You don’t need them.” Jay reiterates against your lips, his low growl sending shivers to your body. His hands move underneath your blouse, wanting to feel for your skin. You pull away from his lips as your eyes flutter open, meeting his that belie dark promises. “You only need me, baby. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
You hesitantly nod your head, which earns you a pleased smirk from him. The exertion from the events that happened today dawns on you, inviting yourself to lean into him dependently with your cheek pressing against his shoulder.
“I want to sleep.” You say languidly, your eyes fluttering closed as you bask in his warmth and comfort with his arms secure around your figure.
Jay presses a kiss on your shoulder before whispering softly, “Sleep all you want, baby.” 
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Maybe Jay is right. You don’t need your best friends when you have him, Jake, and even Sunghoon to keep you company, albeit you haven’t seen them at all since you decided to overstay your welcome in the palace, despite Jay’s insistence that your presence is more wholeheartedly welcomed here than anyone else.
Earlier, when you woke up in Jay’s bed, your head was pounding incessantly as you reeled in the bad hangover. Of course, the regret came afterwards when the recollections dawned on you, but you most certainly didn’t regret coming to Jay.
Naturally, you lowered your expectations, sceptical that he would revert to the asshole he was before, but he exceeded your expectations by the turnover of his behaviour.
“Baby, are you done yet?” You hear his voice just right outside of the fitting room, but you remain rooted to the floor, your disbelieving eyes staring at your reflection in the mirror as you are donning two-piece black lace lingerie with an erotic touch of straps that are attached to the fishnet tights.
Maybe he exceeded your expectations even further, because firstly, when Jay decided to provide you with the princess treatment you had yearned for, you never would have thought that he’d be bringing you to one of the expensive lingerie brands at the famous Grand Mall the morning after three orgasms.
It is even confounding when he doesn’t seem to be the slightest bothered by the curious yet ogling eyes of the ladies in the establishment. Heck, he even goes through every rack and meticulously chooses the items that most suit you.
The sound of knocks abruptly pulls you out of your thoughts. “Let me in, angel.”
You shake your head vehemently before facepalming yourself for forgetting that he can’t see you. “I-I’m fine! Just trying to put it on, still!” The nervousness in your tone totally gives away.
There is a brief silence before the sound of the door lock clicks, alarming you as you instantaneously step away from the mirror when the door slowly pushes open. You see the back of his hair peeking out first as you hide next to the door.
“Jay! What if I wasn’t wearing anything?!” You whisper harshly, your arms covering your chest. 
His head quickly turns to the other side, now meeting your scowling face, but his eyes immediately scan your fine contours shamelessly. His cock twitches in his pants while his mouth nearly salivates at the sight of you. Fuck, you look even better than he imagined.
Take her. That is what his demons are telling him. To take you and fuck you right here and now, after waiting long enough. He fights back, refusing to have his first with you at this very place. Besides, if he could master self-restraint last night, then he should be able to do the exact same now.
His eyes are drinking in your whole outlook before they settle on your face. The faint shade of pink colours your cheeks while you avoid his eyes. He inwardly groans. Are you trying to kill him for looking irresistibly sexy yet at the same time adorable? 
At the sound of the door locking, you finally divert your bewildered gaze to him, taken aback by the discernible change in his demeanour. Your face contorts into confusion.
“Jay, what are you doin─”
“Come here, angel.” He orders calmly, and you know better than to get him to repeat it twice.
Your steps are tentative, apprehensive at the intensity of his dark gaze that doesn’t seem to stray from your face anytime soon. Once you are within his reach, he grabs your arm to pull you closer to him. His arm snakes around your waist, holding you securely, while the other goes to cradle your face.
Your heart only pounds harder against your chest, unable to look away from his beautiful yet hauntingly dark eyes that speak volume while his hand on your bare skin from behind sends you goosebumps.
“You never cease to amaze me.” He says so softly, and yet you know that the darkness lurks beneath him in the way he is gazing at you. “You look beautiful, baby.”
Sure, you had developed the bedroom praise kink since the night Jake took your virginity, but now? The man who is holding you has amplified the aforementioned kink, resulting in the flutters in your tummy intensifying.
“Do I, now?” You ask in a murmur as diffident colours your now warm cheeks, and upon seeing this effect up close, a lazy smirk touches his lips. 
“Yeah, you are. So, so beautiful.” His voice sounds thicker, laden with lust, while his dark, alluring eyes seem to be pulling you in as you find yourself leaning into him, your head tilting to an angle that has him cradling the back of your head before he smashes his lips against yours.
His lips, his touch, his scent ─ everything about him ignites your senses tenfold. You can practically feel yourself melt against him as the fervent exchange of kisses consumes you. Without breaking the lip lock, you feel him moving you as you hold onto his arm.
Pinning you against the wall next to the mirror, his wet muscle breaches into your entry, desiring to explore every inch of you once more. A breathy moan from your throat sends his cock twitching as your tongue messily keeps up with his. He bites down your bottom lip, sucking and pulling it, before silencing your cute gasp.
“Jay.” You mewl into the kiss, your hands fisting the material of his top in an attempt to pull yourself away from his chasing lips. “We can’t.”
Jay simply ignores your protest, trailing his kisses down your jaw and throat while you willingly bare your neck for him to decorate your skin with his long-awaited mark. You flutter your eyes close as you succumb to the mere pleasure of his lips on your neck, moaning breathily at his arrival on that sensitive spot.
Just as you expected, he sinks his teeth into your skin, contemplating whether to draw out blood or not before showing leniency and applying pressure enough to leave a mark. You feel a familiar throb on your neck from his mark before his tongue licks on the same spot as though to soothe it.
Jay litters his kisses at the untouched parts of your neck before returning to your lips, kissing you harshly and pulling away. As your eyes meet his, you recognise that look ─ the very same look when Jake and Sunghoon decided to breach your entry.
“Take it off.” Just his voice alone is enough to ignite your arousal. Despite your hesitancy, you comply. Your lip is tucked between your teeth as you slowly remove the bottom, but just as you are about to remove the bra, he stops you. “Keep those on.”
He doesn’t give you a chance to wrap the current situation around your head as he turns you around, moving you to the side and prompting you to stare into your reflections. At the moment you hear something unzipping, your eyes flicker down to his garments on the floor.
Like an untamed beast, he roughly has you bend over, prompting you to hold onto the mirror for support. “Jay, we can’t. Not here.” Despite your protest, you feel your pussy throbbing in anticipation, with the pre-essence already leaking down your walls.
“We can, because I said so.” Jay grunts out, startling you as he taps his tip onto your wet folds. He scoffs lightly. “Are you sure you don’t want this? You’re soaking, angel.”
You open your mouth to speak, but a moan leaves your lips instead as soon as his cock slowly breaches into your cunt, which wholeheartedly welcomes him despite having to adjust to his girth.
“So fucking tight.” Jay grits his teeth, your walls are enveloping him as though they never want to let go. He watches as he slowly pushes his cock into you, disappearing into the depths of your warm yet wet cavity.
“Jay.” The familiar pain of having to adjust to his girth has you whimpering, and yet, your cunt continues to throb in desperate need of getting railed. You had no idea that it was possible for Jay to be thicker than Sunghoon.
His eyes meet yours in the mirror, and a smirk touches his lips, drinking in how beautifully pliant you are. Gripping your hips, he begins to experimentally thrust into you. You gasp at the delicious friction between your walls and his girth.
Upon seeing your face twist in mesmerising pleasure, Jay changes the pace, caving into the beast within him that he has been trying to tame. Every thrust is deliberate and hard, and each time he bottoms out completely, he stays still, pressing himself against your ass before resuming his thrusting.
“Jay.” You accidentally moan loudly before slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle out your moans.
“Better stay quiet, baby.” Jay grunts, pistoning his cock into your slick cunt as it emits the obscene, squelching sound. His lips curl into a smirk, relishing the way you are muffling out your moans with your palm. His eyes move to your jiggling boobs, wanting nothing more than to suck your nipples.
Licking his lips, his hand moves underneath your body to grope your boob tightly before raising your body, your back hitting his chest while he remains unyielding in fucking into you. Another moan manages to escape noisily from you as he hits that specific spot.
“You want everyone to hear how much you love my cock, don’t you?” He says mockingly in between bated breaths. “Yeah, I bet you do. Just a hungry whore who needs to be fucked all the time.” He leans down to bite your shoulder as he feels you squeezing him tight. “Oh? You like that?” He rasps against your skin, now trailing his kisses on your neck.
Your jaw goes slack at the sensation of his fingers rubbing your bundle of nerves, amplifying your pleasure, while your stomach tightens with the familiar knot. You don’t bother to conceal your moans as you succumb to the delirious pleasure, your eyes rolling to the back.
“Look at yourself, baby.” He nips at your earlobe, prompting you to heed his instructions. Your breath hitches at the obscenity reflecting in the mirror, yet it is erotic, and with his administration on your clit while he continues to thrust his cock into you, everything drives you to the edge.
“Jay, I’m cumming.” You manage to utter in between teetering breaths. His fingers seize your chin, turning your head for access to capture your lips in a heated kiss.
“Cum for me.” He murmurs against your lips, swallowing your moans as you fuck yourself back onto him before cumming hard all over his cock. He doesn’t relent from thrusting in you, even when your juice is leaking down his shaft completely.
Pulling away from your swollen lips, Jay unsheathes his cock from your gaping hole. He turns you around again and presses you up against the wall before crouching down in front of you, rendering you flabbergasted as you attempt to compose yourself from the post-orgasm.
“Lift your legs and put them over my shoulders.” He demands, looking up at you while his hand squeezes your calf.
This time, you remain unmoving, and the insecurity washes over you due to your weighty thighs. “B-But I’m heavy.” 
His eyes darken dangerously. “I won’t repeat myself another time. Put your legs over my shoulders, angel.”
His rough command sends you shivers, compelling you to slowly lift your leg, but it seems he lacks patience as he grabs your leg and hangs it over his shoulder before doing the same to your other leg with such ease.
You don’t even have the time to marvel at his strength for holding you up against the wall as he stands with his hands supporting your derreriè before his lips latch onto your clit, wasting no time sucking and licking it.
“Jay!” You slap your palm over your mouth, muffling out your moan again. Your back is arched while your head is tilted up with your eyes rolled to the back, getting lost in the depths of pleasure by his sinful tongue lapping and slurping your juice.
Tears prickle in your eyes, hating and loving the sensitivity he is inflicting upon you. Your other hand is tangled in his hair, gripping and tugging the roots that have him groaning into your drenched pussy before ravaging you completely, his nose constantly rubbing against your clit.
Even covering your noisy mouth is a futile attempt, as the sound of your moans manages to fill the space of this fitting room. The muscles in your abdomen tighten with the familiar knot while your orgasm is impending once more, but this time, it comes down on you violently with your thighs trembling.
Jay, who is utterly drunk on your pussy, greedily slurps your juices as you come undone for the second time. You whimper at the sensitivity, feeling his tongue tantalisingly lick your drenched folds before he plants a tender kiss on your nub.
As much as Jay would like to draw out another orgasm from you, he knows that he should stop before getting too immersive. He withdraws from you, carefully setting you down while you find your knees buckling underneath you, prompting you to latch your hand onto his arm for support.
“What about you?” You ask shakily while your head is still buzzing from the aftermath. His confused eyes meet yours. “You haven’t cum yet.” Your lips form into a small pout, to which he can’t resist giving you a toe-curling kiss with your arms hooking around his neck.
Jay hums against your lips, and his hand moves down to grope your butt cheek. “Your pleasure is mine, and that is more than enough for me, baby.” He whispers affectionately as he pulls away from your lips.
Smirking down at you, he squeezes your plumpness before smacking your ass. “Get another set of this lingerie.” He says huskily, leaning down to press a sensual kiss on your neck at where your mark is.
“Why?” You ask, blushing at the sight of his cock as he proceeds to put back on his garments.
You look away from him before you can get aroused once more. Just as you step forward, his arm latches around your waist from behind, pulling you to him as your back hits his chest.
He kisses your shoulder deeply before you feel him smirking against your skin. “Because I can’t guarantee that I won’t be destroying this set the next time.”
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The silence envelopes the two of you in a loving embrace, allowing you to bask in the serenity that you needed after a long, eventful day out with him earlier. Now, having settled in his room, you are seated on the couch situated in the middle of his room while he has his head resting comfortably on your thigh.
Your fingers gently rake through his soft locks, occasionally lulling him to sleep. With a tender gaze, you begin to scrutinise every detail of him ─ his eyelashes, his eyebrows, his sculpted nose, and you even notice freckles across his cheeks that appear faintly, tempting you to kiss them. When your eyes fall to his pink lips, you frown, seeing the noticeable scar on his bottom lip.
Honestly, the thought of asking him about the scar on his lip often comes to mind, but whenever you wanted to inquire, something held you back from doing so, as if asking a harmless question would result in unpleasantness.
Just like the rest of his best friends, Jay remains an enigma, one that you desire to unravel. Maybe it has to do with the dynamic change between you and him, but you yearn to be close to him, and not just physically. You want to know what his genuine likes and dislikes are, what his childhood was like, the meaning of his tattoos, basically everything about him.
“You’re quiet.” His husky voice startles you, and when you look at him, his eyes remain closed.
“So are you.” You retort with a soft tone while you continue to rake your fingers through his hair. “Are you that tired?”
“I’m not tired. I just love the silence.” He mutters. “It helps to calm me down and allow me to regulate my emotions.”
Your piqued interest nearly reaches its peak. “Really? I thought drinking and smoking would do so.”
“You’re not entirely wrong, but silence is something I deeply appreciate.” You can sense his hesitancy as he pauses. “It was always noisy back at home.”
You manage to catch his dry yet low utterance. You stop your fingers from playing with his hair as you bite your bottom lip. “What was your childhood like?”
“Why do you want to know?” He asks, fluttering his eyelids open to stare at you.
You shrug your shoulders. “Just curious. I mean, I told you mine earlier in the car.” You did, and you’re thankful that Jay even bothered to entertain your yapping despite needing to focus on the road.
“You wouldn’t want to hear mine, but in short, it’s the opposite of yours.” He scoffs lightly, raising his body to grab his cigarette box, whereas you frown at the loss of his warmth.
You watch as he lights up his stick before inhaling and puffing out the smoke. Upon your loud silence, he takes a glance at you with an arched eyebrow. “I have a feeling that you have more questions for me. Shoot them out, baby.”
Your eyes flicker at his lips. “That scar on your lip.” You murmur, and the way his body flinches lightly doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “What happened?”
A muscle pulses in his jaw, taking another long drag of the tobacco. “I got punched by my father when I was fourteen. His ring gave me this scar.”
Your eyebrows are softly knit together, in complete disbelief. “When you were fourteen? It’s been years, so your scar is permanent?”
“Yeah, but not that it bothers me.” Jay states in a monotone manner, whereas you are taken aback by his indifference. You notice the swift change in his demeanour, watching as he takes one last drag of his cigarette.
“I’m sorry for what happened to you.” You say softly, treading carefully with your words. “Regardless of the reason, no father should ever raise his hand to his child.”
“Don’t, Y/N.” He warns. “Don’t pity me or whatever shit people like you do just to show that you care when you don’t.” His cold eyes glare into your hurtful ones, while his tone no longer holds any traces of warmth or affection.
“But I do care. I care about you, Jay.” You counter vehemently, concealing your hurt with a firm facade. 
The familiar cruelty plastered itself on his face, smirking at you. “Do you really? Or you just care for the sake of keeping me around with you just so I can continue to fuck you instead of other girls?”
His words feel like a slap in the face, but you know for yourself that that isn’t true. You curl your hand into a fist, refraining from acting upon your hurt. “I don’t understand you, Jay. What does it take for you to believe that I truly care?”
“I didn’t ask for you to understand me.” If his tone could actually cut you, then you would probably bleed. “You should’ve kept your mouth shut instead of prying into matters that didn’t concern you.”
The lump in your throat is starting to hurt, but you force yourself to sound firm still. “It always ends up back to square one with you, and for the record, I wasn’t prying. I was just stating a fact. What your father did to you isn’t normal─”
“Shut the fuck up about him.” He snarls coldly, and the look in his eyes causes you to flinch visibly. You hear a crack in your heart at the familiar animosity storming in his eyes. “What are you? My fucking therapist? Is that what you’re trying to do here? You’re trying to diagnose me like I’m some helpless kid who needs help and understanding?”
“I─” Your voice shakes palpably as each word he speaks only carves the wounds deeper in your heart. You try to form any coherent words, but the longer his callous gaze drills into you, the more you want to bury yourself six feet under.
Despite the unmistakable rage in his eyes, your hurt outweighs your fear for him. You only had good intentions, wanting to get to know him better, but you didn’t expect things to end up like this.
“I wasn’t trying to diagnose you.” You manage to say, but weakly faint, and you’re uncertain if he catches onto that as he rises from the couch and grabs his coat from the rack.
“I’m going for a walk. Ask Heeseung or anyone else to drive you back to your dorm.” He mutters dryly, not sparing you a glance as he advances forward.
“I just wanted to be close to you, Jay.” Your whisper surprisingly reaches his ears as he halts his steps. A tinge of hope touches your chest. You stare at his back while your teary eyes blur with each blink.
Jay deflates just slightly as he clenches his fist. The strings pulling at his heart have become oddly unbearable. Swallowing harshly, he holds back any remarks, or else he might feel the slightest guilt for saying things to you he doesn’t actually mean once more.
You watch as he gets further until he slams the door closed loudly, leaving you alone in the coldness of his room with rivulets of tears cascading down your cheeks.
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Three days. Three agonising days without Jay — without his kisses, without his warmth, without his tender gazes. Maybe this is you exaggerating, but God, you feel like you might actually die without him by your side.
Your bleeding heart yearns for him while your mind is caught up in a whirlwind of tempestuous emotions. The rational part of you is adamant, berating you for yearning for the man who has given you a litany of reasons why you should no longer further associate yourself with him.
But then again, the heart wants what it wants, and you would be a fool to ignore it.
Biting your lip harshly, you pour yourself another drink before downing the tequila shot as you throw your head to the back. The blasting music in the background fades as you get more immersive in taking more shots, hoping that all the liquor drowns out your sadness and is a distraction from reeling in heartbreak.
“Take it slow, Y/N.” Chaewon’s concerned voice nearly deters you, and when Kazuha snatches your glass away from you, you shoot her a scowl.
“I wasn’t done.” You sound tipsy, but you know that you’re still sober. Fortunately, not all of your circle of friends have abandoned you. Kazuha, Chaewon, and Rei seem to be the only ones who still bother to reach out to you. “Come on. I swear, I’m not drunk!”
“Uh, yeah, you are.” Rei retorts. “You’re doing that smiley thing when you’re drunk.”
“What smiley thing?” You tilt your head to one side, smiling lazily at her, before a bubble of giggles comes up to your throat. A contented sigh leaves your lips as you cup your cheeks with your elbows resting on the table. “Have any of you girls fallen in love?”
The three ladies exchange wary glances, having a collective sense that it is a rhetorical question, and they’re correct.
“I have! I mean, I don’t know if it’s love or infatuation.” You babble to yourself, your lips jutting into a pout. “Can somebody get a love doctor to diagnose me? My heart feels strange and all jittery thinking about three men….”
“Oh, girl,” Rei sighs, shaking her with a glinting sympathy in her eyes as she stares at you. “You’re too far gone.”
“They’re so mean. Two of them have been avoiding me, my calls, and my texts.” You complain to them as you cling to Chaewon’s arm, whining. “And you want to know who is the meanest of them all?”
“Uh, oh. Here she comes.” Rei points out, drawing their attention to your eyes brimming with tears.
You begin to snivel, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. “Jay. He─” A hiccup leaves your lips. “He fooled me into thinking that he changed.”
“Y/N.” Chaewon sighs softly, but you shake your head at her.
“I don’t care that he hates me, Chaewon.” You chuckle brokenly in between snivelling. “I just miss him so much. I want him the same way I want Jake and Sunghoon. Does that make me a selfish whore? Oh, who am I kidding? Of course, it does.”
“You’re not a whore, Y/N.” Kazuha reaches for your hand and gives it a firm squeeze. “Please don’t label yourself that.”
You whimper, retracting your hand from her touch. “You know what’s worse? I don’t give a damn if I’m being a desperate, selfish whore. All I want is for them to like me back.” Cue the ugly sobs.
“A glass of water, please.” Kazuha flags down the bartender with a tight smile, her hand rubbing your back comfortingly.
“There are other guys better than them, baby.” Chaewon murmurs softly to you as you lean dependently into her, whereas Rei uses her body to shield you from prying eyes, to which she shoots glares at them.
The endearment only seems to break you, making you sob harder. “Jay used to call me that.” You manage to utter. “Isn’t it ironic how badly I want him back when he’s not even mine to begin with?”
You don’t hear any response from your friends, not that it bothers you. With your moral support surrounding you, you feel a wave of assurance as you allow yourself to wallow in sadness for a little longer.
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“There! All done!” Rei beams with a dazzling smile, which is infectious enough for you to lift a smile of your own after applying a lip gloss to your lips. “Now you’re back on the stunning track!”
Of course, after the crying session comes the dancing, according to Chaewon. It took you approximately thirty minutes to calm down and sober yourself up, despite the fact that you still feel tipsy, but nevertheless, it fuels your self-confidence to dance the night away with your friends.
Earlier, you had your second exam, and it was by far the worst due to the fact that your mind often drifted to Jay and you almost didn’t manage to finish the last few questions. Fortunately, your last exam falls next week, which allows you to indulge your cravings for a little bit.
“Chae! Isn’t this your song?” Kazuha asks loudly over the reverberating music as she and Chaewon drag you further into the throng of people dancing, grinding, and even making out lewdly in the open.
Chaewon lets out a playful scoff. “Of course! Come on, Y/N! Flaunt us your moves!”
Trusting yourself a little, you allow the alcohol that remains buzzing in your system to guide you, and soon, your body begins moving to the infectious rhythm sensually. The cheering of your friends and their smiles of encouragement elevate your self-confidence, while the upbeat music drives you further, succumbing to the intoxicating abysmally.
In the midst of revelling in all of this, you know for yourself that when tomorrow comes, you’ll wake up in tears once more, just as you did for the past three days. For now, you allow yourself to forget your pain, even if it’s just ephemeral.
Hands. You feel hands on your waist, and the way this person is holding you feels oddly familiar. You hear his low, ragged breaths next to your ear. Your heart nearly leaps at the sound of his voice, which you have longed to hear.
“Have you missed me, lovely?” Jake murmurs softly into your ear, prompting you to falter in dancing. “Don’t stop now, angel. You were dancing so well.”
“Jaeyun.” Your mind is in a tangle of emotions, uncertain whether to lash out your anger at him or simply enjoy his alluring company. You look over your shoulder and meet his sultry gaze, but you discern a tinge of softness in it.
Jake offers you a smile that has you falling all over again. “I’ve missed you dearly, lovely.” He leans down, his lips ghosting above yours, before whispering, “Dance with me, and then you can get mad at me all you want.”
You scoff, rolling your eyes, but nevertheless, you pick up the rhythm where you left off. The way he moves is in tune with you, and soon you find yourself loosening every tension. Facing him, you shoot him a lazy yet sultry gaze before he pulls you back to him, his arm caging your waist while the other goes to caress your cheek, admiring how beautiful you look under resplendent lighting.
Jake flickers his gaze behind you as he slowly loosens his grip before casting the person behind you a smirk. “He wants a turn with you too, angel.”
Before you can turn, you feel another pair of hands on your waist, and this time, warm lips come into contact with your exposed shoulder, kissing you tenderly.
“Hey, princess.” Sunghoon greets you in a murmur, intensifying the butterflies within you while your mind is in a frenzy of being caged between the very two men you are supposed to unleash your anger at. “You look so fucking good.”
“Yeah? I look good?” You ask breathily, the rising tension in the air feels suffocating enough. You feel his hand seizing your jaw and turning your head to the side, now meeting his eyes.
“You would look even better without anything in my bed.” Sunghoon places a chaste kiss on your lips that is enough to render you needy. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“Then why didn’t you find me? Why did you avoid me like the plague?” You try your utmost to keep your raging emotions at bay, but even they can discern your resentment.
“We had to.” Jake’s lips on your cheek momentarily dissuade you from the main issue. “You have no idea how hard it was for us.”
“He’s right, princess.” Sunghoon continues to trail his kisses from your exposed shoulder to your neck while Jake silences your whimper with his lips. Sunghoon grabs your waist tighter. “So fucking hard, but for now, you’re Jay’s."
The mere mention of his name sets you off. “Don’t mention his name.”
“Jay, he’s sorry for being a dick to you.” Jake murmurs, looking at you with a sympathetic smile, but it seems to add fuel to your resentment for the aforementioned.
“Jay wants to make it up to you, princess.” Even Sunghoon’s butterfly kisses on your skin lose their effect on swaying you.
“I don’t trust you. If he’s sorry, then where is he now?” The hurt is evident in your tone, and it is something that ignites mutual anger within the two men for Jay.
“He’s here─”
“I can’t do this. Not right now.” You shake your head, your hands attempting to push them away, and surprisingly, they release you, allowing you to depart from the dance floor.
Rei, who has been texting away on her phone while also being the one to watch over your purses, lifts her head to see you walking towards her. She greets you with a confused smile. “Hey! That was fast. You’re done dancing for the night?” She asks unsurely as she watches you sling your purse over your shoulder.
“I need to take a breather.” You tell her, giving her a tight smile while your skull begins to throb. “I’ll be fine, Rei. I promise not to cry anymore. Men aren’t worth my tears.”
What a liar.
Thankfully, Rei seems to believe the semblance of your newfound outlook, beaming you a smile before resuming her business while you grasp the opportunity to navigate your way out of the club.
Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry, not yet. You keep telling yourself that with your fist clenched. Men ain’t shit. They don’t deserve your tears.
As the cold midnight air greets your skin, your eyes scan your surroundings, noticing a few smokers from the opposite street, but they seem too immersed in their business.
With your head throbbing incessantly, you go still outside of the establishment, comprehending whatever happened back there, and once it coalesces into one account, the tumultuous emotions you have been keeping at bay implode.
It starts off as a snivel with tears rolling down your cheeks, but maybe the remnants of alcohol in your system affect you as well, amplifying your heightened emotions that are beginning to feel unbearable as they wrap you in a cold hug.
You crouch down, weeping your heart out as tears fall to the concrete pavement. Maybe you are being melodramatic, or maybe you are actually drunk, but the pain in your heart consumes you.
“You bad guy.” You utter in between sobs and hiccups, too engrossed to notice a shadow looming over yours from behind. The sound of your cries quietens when you feel some sort of material draping over your shoulders.
Not bothered by your ruined mascara, you wipe away your tears on your cheeks before slowly lifting your head up when you hear footsteps. Your heart nearly lurches in your chest as you meet his eyes.
You stand abruptly, your hand holding onto his jacket draped over your shoulders. “Jay.”
His face remains impassive, but his eyes speak volumes as he extends his hand to you. “Let’s get you back to your dorm.”
Removing his jacket, you thrust it into his arms. “I don’t need you, not anymore.” Your shoulder bumps into him roughly as you walk past him, but you fail to realise that his determination is parallel to Sunghoon's and Jake’s.
“Let go of me, Jay!” You struggle to yank your arm from his tight grip. You glare into his eyes through teary vision. “You wanted this, right? You no longer needed me because I’m just another girl for you to fuck and toss aside once you’re done.”
“You’re wrong.” Jay says calmly, looking entirely different from your expectation of him to lash out at you again. His eyes scan your countenance. “You’re drunk, angel.”
“No, I’m not, but maybe you are the drunk one.” You strongly assert, albeit you sound sluggish, while your headache renders you slightly disoriented. Your attempt at struggling ceases, and mental exhaustion is beginning to take a toll on you. “I’m so tired, Jay.” You mumble numbly while tears silently cascade down your cheeks.
“I know, baby.” His soft tone lulls you, compelling you into his dark allure once more as you find yourself leaning into him with his hand now cradling your cheek. “Let’s get you back, okay?”
“I don’t want to go back. I want to be close to you.” You plead in a whimper, your glistening eyes holding such longing desperation that it sends his fucked-up mind into a spiral. “Don’t push me away again. I’m sorry for what I said before. I’ll be good to you.”
“You’ve always been good to me, baby.” His voice barely above a whisper. He presses a kiss on your forehead before pulling you along with him. His grasp on your arm is a gentle security that has you moving closer to him.
“Don’t send me back to my dorm, please.” You manage to tell him in a murmur, now settling in the passenger seat while he switches on the ignition before losing consciousness.
“I know.”
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It is no surprise to you that you woke up in Jay’s bed since the last thing you remembered was him tending to you and getting you to change into his clothes that were more comfortable than your skimpy dress.
The aromatic scent of the candle is a familiar smell to you that sparsely alleviates your throbbing skull since you are still reeling from the hangover. Your steps are tentative and light, while your eyes are examining every part and ornament in his room.
Unlike Sunghoon’s room, you notice that Jay’s room lacks any picture frames of his family. Your eyes trail to the familiar black mask on the vanity table. You can’t stop yourself from reaching for it and examining it closer.
The door swings open, startling you as you nearly stagger back. His sharp gaze meets yours, and instantly, the familiar fear creeps on you at the thought of him getting angry at you for poking your nose into his business once more.
“I’m sorry. I was just─”
“Baby.” He cuts you off, now ambling towards you with a softened gaze. “No more apologies from you.”
You refrain from doing so again, smacking your lips together. He beckons for you to come closer, and you do so tentatively. He grabs your hand, raising it to place a gentle kiss on your palm.
“Jay.” Your voice barely above a whisper while your glistening eyes meet his.
“You said you wanted to be close to me, right?” He asks softly as he positions your palm on his cheek, leaning into your touch. “I wish for the same too.”
Your lips quiver in sadness as you recall. “You hurt my feelings."
He moves closer to you. “I know.”
A hiccup leaves your lips. “I don’t want you to push me away like that again.”
“I won’t.” His promising tone sends an assurance to you. He leans down to kiss your forehead, your cheek, and your nose before meeting your lips. “Let me make it up to you, baby.” He murmurs into the kiss.
Jay withdraws from you to grab something in his pocket. Relief spreads across your chest as you see your necklace in his grasp. “Turn around, angel.”
With your back facing him, you wait in anticipation, and your heart goes fluttering as he pushes your hair gently to one side before securing the necklace around your neck.
“I had it fixed yesterday.” He murmurs, his fingers stroking your nape and sending you chills. “You’re free to go, you know? You’re no longer tethered to me.”
You turn around to give him a look of disbelief. “But you said you wished to be closer to me.”
He sighs softly as he tucks your hair behind your ear. “I don’t want to force you to stay either.”
“You’re not forcing anything. Just─” Frustration begins to bubble within you, and you boldly initiate the kiss, slamming your lips against his, which nearly knocks the breath out of him. “I don’t want to leave.” You manage to say in between the kisses, your arms hooking around his neck to pull him closer.
Jay groans lowly into the kiss, getting aroused by your fervour and desperation. “Baby─” He tightens his hold onto your waist as you nip at his bottom lip, a skill that you pick up from the kisses you experienced with the three men.
Before Jay can get too carried away, he forces himself to withdraw from your chasing lips. His arm around your waist tightens while his eyes darken at the sight of your dazed ones. “Are you really sure you don’t want to leave?”
Something in his tone sends an eerie chill to your core. Nevertheless, you nod your head in confirmation. “I mean it when I say I want to be close to you, as long as you promise not to push me away again.”
“I hope you don’t take back your words.” He says in a dark lull, but his gaze remains softened as he caresses your cheek. “Because from this moment forth, I won’t be letting you go. Not now, not ever.”
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Jay knew you were up to something when you decided to rile him up after intentionally and deliberately executing your cute little schemes on him since yesterday ─ your innocent yet sultry gaze as you bat your eyelashes at him, your acrylic nails grazing across his chest until they reach his lower region and caressing his raging cock beneath the confines of his slacks, the way you not-so-discreetly wiggle your ass against him whenever he back-hugs you.
Oh, you’re fucking cute, alright. Let’s see how cute you’re going to end up by the time he’s done with you. This time, he won’t be holding back anymore.
“You look so gorgeous in these.” He murmurs against your lips, his hands roaming around your body, which is adorned by the very lingerie set he bought you. He silences your whimper by deepening the kiss as soon as he smacks your ass before squeezing the flesh. He withdraws from your chasing lips. “Do you know what you got yourself into, angel?”
“No?” Your cheeky response only seems to rile him up even more. You squeal as he lands another smack on your ass before he manhandles you, carrying you by the waist, and has you settled on his bed. Your breath hitches in your throat as he forces you to lie down, gripping your hands above your head. “Jay─”
You smack your lips shut together as soon as you see black ropes in his grasp. Your pulse drums in your ear loudly as he uses them to bind your wrists together, rendering you wholly vulnerable and helpless. Now you are displayed prettily, all for him to feast his eyes upon and to do whatever he wants with you.
You tuck your bottom lip between your teeth, watching as he practically tears your lower lingerie apart before tossing it aside. When his dark eyes meet yours, you have an inkling that you’ll need at least twelve hours of sleep afterwards.
“You think you’re so cute, tryna’ rile me up.” His rough, husky voice only arouses you further. “This is what you wanted, right? You wanted me to stuff you full with my cock.”
“Yes.” You say breathily, your back is slightly arched as you slowly spread your legs, attempting to entice him while he is refraining himself from devouring you. “Please fuck me, Jay.”
“Nah, after those cute little stunts?” He chuckles lethally softly, and before you know it, you feel pleasurable vibrations at a rapid speed on your clit with that tears a loud moan from you.
“Jay!” You moan out a cry as soon as he presses the small device onto your clit, the sensation is mind-numbingly delirious. Your hips buck up as he pushes two digits into your drenched folds, scissoring you deliberately and slowly, toppling you nearly to the edge.
Hovering over you, he places a chaste kiss on your lips while his fingers continue to fuck you. “You’re gonna be a good girl for me, baby?” Your heart flutters at how affectionate he sounds, in contrast to the way his dark eyes seem to pull you in dangerously.
“Y-Yes.” You stutter, your breaths staggering, while your mind is in a frenzy from the insane pleasure. 
“Then don’t cum until I say so.” He whispers, kissing your cheek deeply before he withdraws his fingers from you, eliciting a whine from you. “I’ll be quick.”
You throw your head back in frustration, tears pricking your eyes as the vibrations get unbearable. You bite down on your bottom lip, attempting to muffle your moans. The sound of his footsteps sends you a wave of relief. You want nothing more than for him to fuck you.
“Jay.” You whine as soon as he hovers over you, bucking your hips impatiently as he unclips your strapless bra before tossing it aside. “Please. Want you so bad.”
“I know, baby, just a little more.” The sensation of something cold shocks you before you look down to see him holding the ice and sliding it down your chest until it reaches your perky nipple.
“Jay! It’s cold!” You squeal as he circles the ice cube on your nipple. He simply casts you a smirk before leaning down to give his attention to the other nipple, encasing it with his lips. The sensitivity renders you a moaning mess, feeling his tongue licking and sucking your nipple while the other is stimulated by the ice cube. 
Jay pulls away from your nipple with a wet pop before littering his kisses on the expanse of your breasts and humming in satisfaction. “Mmhmh fuck. Love your tits so much.” He murmurs against your skin before diverting his attention to the other nipple, cold from the ice.
Your body shivers from the coldness as he glides the ice cube across your chest before descending to your abdomen, all the way until he stops at your leaking cunt. “I told you not to cum, did I not?”
“I swear I didn’t!” As soon as you exclaim, he pulls the device away from your sensitive clit, but he doesn’t spare you any minute to recover as he presses the melting ice onto your clit, eliciting a whimper from you. “Too cold!” You whine helplessly as you attempt to move away from him, but he simply locks you in place with his firm hand on your hip. “Jay!”
“Shhh, you’re going to take what I give you, angel.” He says in a lull, the wickedness lurking in his dark eyes as he smirks at you before dipping down to press his tongue on the melting cube steady on your clit, eliciting a needy whine from you. Due to the heat of his tongue, the ice melts quicker than he likes. His lips envelope your now-cold clit, sucking and licking it, which has your thighs trembling from the overstimulation. 
“Don’t you dare fucking cum.” His growl against your clit sends vibrations to your body, but your cunt won’t stop leaking. Pulling away from you, his fingers smack your clit sharply, earning him a cry from you. “Since you wanted to cum so fucking bad, you’ll be squirting for me.” Tears have leaked from your eyes at the painful yet pleasurable sensation as he smacks your clit and folds for a few more times before retrieving the vibrator at the side.
“Jay, no more.” You plead as you attempt to close your legs, but he simply smacks your thighs and forces them apart before pressing the device against your clit and shoving his fingers into you while his other hand reaches up to grab a hold of your neck. You scream, cry, and moan for his name as he is unyielding, fucking his fingers vigorously into your sopping cunt and the device vibrating on your clit, all the while, he speaks to you in a lull and kisses you, praising and degrading you.
Feeling your walls clenching around his fingers, he smirks wickedly at you as he increases the pace. “Go on, baby. Make a mess all over me.”
Bucking your hips up, your body convulses beneath him with your toes curling. White blinds your vision as soon as your orgasm comes crashing down in violent waves while a strong burst of fluid gushes out and splashes around his unrelenting fingers.
Jay licks his lips, watching as you don’t stop squirting with your fluids, now staining his bedsheets darker. “Fuck, that was so hot, baby.” He finally removes his fingers from your wholly drenched cunt and tosses the vibrator aside.
You can only manage a whimper, your head rolling to the side while your chest heaves up and down from the newfound yet delirious sensation of having to squirt. You turn your head lazily to face him, and butterflies flutter around you at the glorious sight of his toned abdominal muscles. “I can’t.” You protest, your body jerking in sensitivity as you feel him tap the head of his cock onto your clit multiple times.
“Yes, you can. You will take it like the good girl you are.” He says huskily, aiming his erected cock at where your hole is before allowing the head to breach in the entry. A breathy moan leaves your lips as he slowly thrusts into you, his hands at the sides of your head to support his weight.
“Still so fucking tight.” He grunts, relishing how your walls are hugging him snuggly. Each drag of his cock against your walls is tantalisingly slow, as though he is punishing you. At the movement of your hips bucking up in an attempt to fuck yourself deeply onto him, he scoffs out a smirk before curling his tattooed fingers around your neck, forcing you to meet his eyes. “Want me to fuck you fast, baby?”
“Please.” You mewl, pouting your lips and compelling him to kiss you, and he does. His thrusts remain slow and deliberate as he seals you in a searing kiss that feels unforgiving.
“Harder too?” He growls against your wet lips, withdrawing his cock from you and leaving the head inside before slamming his hips against yours hard with his cock burying to the hilt that has you moaning into the kiss. “Again, baby?” He chuckles breathily before repeating the action, and this time, the pace drastically changes, now fucking into you harder and faster.
“Oh, fuck!” You cry and moan out more profanity as he thrusts vigorously into you. You stare at him with glossy eyes, completely enamoured at how hot he looks with his dark eyes penetrating into yours, his tousled raven strands hanging over his forehead, his chiselled jaw locking, and his biceps muscles flexing every now and then. You clench your fists, wanting nothing more than to break free from the ropes and touch him.
Before your orgasm can reach its peak, he stops thrusting, eliciting needy whines from you. “Jay, please.” You grind your hips, letting yourself fuck on his cock.
With bated breaths, he leans down to place chaste kisses on your perky yet sensitive nipples before trailing wet kisses to your neck. “Remember when I said I wouldn’t be letting you go?” He murmurs against your skin, now slotting his lips over yours and kissing you sweetly. “I mean it.”
Jay resumes his thrust, this time deliberately slow yet hard, burying his cock to the hilt each time he thrusts, which has you seeing stars in your vision. His tongue glides across your lips before whispering, “I’m gonna breed you, angel.” His admission has your eyes widening, but he simply smirks at your reaction before snapping his hips painfully hard, drawing out a gasp from you. 
“Gonna make you a mommy.” He grunts out, feeling your walls clench like crazy around him. His eyes rake all over your body as he licks his lips. “Fuck, you’d look so good with a pregnant belly and swollen tits.”
“J-Jay!” A part of you fears the possibility of getting pregnant with his baby, but you find yourself willingly reciprocating his thrusts, wanting him to dump his cum into you.
“Yeah? You want my baby?” A sadistic smile smears across his lips, while the sinister in his eyes sends you chills. "Mmmhmm, I know you do.”
“Jay, please.” You whisper fearfully, shaking your head at him, but it only drives him further to the edge, increasing the pace before his orgasm finally reaches its peak.
You roll your eyes to the back as you feel his fingers rubbing your sensitive nub, your back arching with your chest pushed out, which entices him to capture your nipple with his lips again.
“Cum with me, baby.” He murmurs before resuming to suck your nipple like an infant. At his command, you violently come undone with a moan while a familiar fluid gushes from you. He doesn’t let up his thrust, even after painting your walls white.
“Jay.” You weakly whimper, your wrists are getting sore, and your pussy is entirely spent. Your body remains convulsing beneath him, with tears rolling down your cheeks at the overstimulation as he continues to fuck into you.
“One more, baby.” He leans back to grab your leg and hoist it to his shoulder, now angling his cock deeper into you, which arouses you once more. “Can you squirt for me again?”
You don’t respond, getting lost in the euphoric ecstasy with the smell of sex and sweat teeming in the air, his hot skin flushing against yours. His eyes darken at the sight of the pure bliss on your face, spurring him into drawing more orgasms from you.
“Angel baby.” He sighs pleasurably, releasing your leg to lean down on you, your nipples grazing his chest. You moan weakly in response, forcing yourself to look at him. Your heart flutters at the sentiments glinting amidst the darkness in his eyes.
“Jay.” You mewl out his name, wanting his lips on yours, and as if he can read your mind, he gives into what you want, kissing your willowy lips tenderly while his thrusts feel entirely different despite keeping the slow yet deliberate momentum.
“Yes, baby?” He asks gently against your lips, his hand descending to rub your clit in circles.
“I like you.” Your confession is uttered in a whimper, hips bucking up to chase for his thrust. “I like you so much.”
Something foreign stirs within him — something that he has never felt before towards any other girls he has been with in the past. He bites his lips hard, suppressing himself from allowing that odd emotion to surface. It’s even worse when falling for you is forbidden.
“Fuck this.” He nearly growls out before setting the pace hard yet slow, enough for sparks to fly in your vision. With his fingers unrelenting on your clit and his cock thrusting deeply into you, you come undone as you squirt once more.
You open your mouth to speak, but he silences you with his lips, kissing you with such desperation and longing. “Untie me, please.” You plead in between kisses. Surprisingly, he complies, pulling away from you to untie the robes.
Once your hands are freed, you tangle your fingers in his hair as he leans down to bury his face in the nook of your neck while he continues to thrust his cock into you, wanting to chase for his high. His hot breath tickles your skin while his hand moves down to grope your ass cheek. You raise your aching leg to lock around his waist, angling yourself to feel him deeply.
“Want your cum, Jay.” You say softly to his ear, eliciting a low groan from him as you intentionally clench your walls around his shaft.
“By you, I’m forever undone, angel.” With one last thrust, a deep moan elicits from him as he snaps his hips against yours and goes completely still, filling you with his cum while you gladly milk him. The mixture of your cum and his slowly leaks out from your cunt are overflowing.
His weight on top of you doesn’t bother you the slightest, relishing the trainquilly of post-orgasms bliss. Your fingers continue to rake through his hair and occasionally massage his head, drawing out deep, pleasurable sighs from him. You feel his cock eventually go soft as he remains buried in you.
“This feels nice.” He murmurs, sounding nearly asleep. “Not the fucking, I mean. Just being close to you like this with you playing with my hair.” This time, there is a tinge of vulnerability seeping between the cracks as he whispers, “No one has ever played with my hair like this. Not even my mother.”
Despite your curiosity tempting you to pry again, you know better than to say something that will result in another argument with him. Instead, you unfurl a soft smile, descending your hands to hold him. “Then I’ll play with your hair more often now─”
You pause as soon as the tips of your fingers touch something on his back that feels oddly like a scar, or perhaps scars, as you caress his back. This time, you can’t contain yourself. “Jay, your back….”
Jay’s silence is worrying you, and just as you expect him to lash out again, you feel him pressing his lips on your collarbone. “Don’t worry. They’re old scars.”
“Who would do this to you?” Your sadness is evident in your tone, and he wants nothing more than to dispel your sadness.
“My father.” He whispers, now trailing his kisses on your chest before seeking your lips. “It’s okay, baby. I turned out fine anyway.” As he slowly pulls away from your lips, he is taken aback by a fallen tear rolling down your cheek.
“You didn’t deserve to go through that.” You say shakily as you cup his cheek, staring deeply into his beautiful yet cryptic eyes.
“Don’t shed a tear for me. I don’t deserve your tears.” He murmurs, tenderly gazing at you as he brushes your sticky strands away from your face. He leans down and presses a soft kiss on your forehead. “No more sadness, angel.”
You feel his cock twitching inside of you before he begins to move, thrusting into you. “Jay, wait.” You gasp as he dips his head and bites down on your neck. His hand searches for yours to intertwine your fingers before positioning it next to your head.
“No more waiting, either.” He grunts against your skin, kissing the spot where he bit you before hovering over you to meet your half-lidded eyes. “Don’t lose yourself to sleep now. We’re going to go all night, baby.”
“I’m not.” Your other hand makes its ascent to cradle his face, and the way you are gazing at him sweetly yet tenderly sends odd flutters to his tainted heart, prompting him to decrease his pace. “I like you, Jay.”
“I know.” He says, but when disappointment flickers in your gaze, he kisses it away with his lips deepening against yours. “I like you too, baby.”
“Oh!” You throw your head to the back as soon as he hits that specific spot deliciously, moaning out. Your arms frantically latch around him, wanting to feel his body in contact with yours. “Jay!”
“Fuck, I know, angel.” He grunts, his face twisted into pleasure as he continues to hit that spot. As you succumb to the delirious pleasure, his eyes rake over your face, and his heart swells with something beyond his capability of feeling any sort of sentiment pertaining to adoration….love.
Aside from your impending orgasm, you can feel something entirely different as he thrusts into you. With the way he is now whispering nothing but sweet words to you while his thrusts remain consistently gentle yet effective enough to draw out your orgasm, it almost feels like he’s making love to you.
“I’m cumming.” You announce in a breathy moan with your arms hooked around his neck, hugging him close to you while your hips rut against his.
“Go on, baby.” His sweet encouragement as he kisses your cheek is all you need for you to coat his cock with your cum again. “That’s a good girl.” He calms you down as your body convulses, his hand rubbing your trembling thigh soothingly. “One more?”
You can’t help but acquiesce, mustering a faint, dimpled smile that has him floored by how good you are to him. With another thrust, he captures your lips in a kiss, murmuring, “Mine. You’re my woman, angel. Never forget that.”
“I’m yours, Jay.” You utter breathlessly while he tightens your intertwined fingers.
Jay hums out his approval, nipping at your bottom lip playfully before returning his gaze to your dazed eyes. “You’ll do anything for me, yeah?”
You nod your head, getting lost in the depths of his eyes. “Yes.”
“Just like how I’d kill for you.” He whispers darkly, and despite the tenderness of his gaze, the darkness reigns. You shiver at the sensation of his fingertips tracing down from your cheek to your neck. “You are mine, Y/N. Mine to protect, mine to touch, mine to kiss, and mine to fuck.”
“Yes.” In your delirium, you nod your head in agreement, blissfully unaware of the dark obsession glinting in his eyes.
“Mine.” It’s like he’s utterly drunk on you, wanting to drill his claim into the depths of your mind. “All mine.”
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The off-shoulder layered ruffle dress that reaches above your thighs fits you perfectly, and you love the flaring touch on the dress. You do a little spin once more in front of the mirror, chuckling softly at how silly you are being, all because the man who quite literally railed you all night specifically bought this dress for you during the period he detached from you.
No, scratch that. Dresses. Your eyes dart at the dresses neatly laid out on your bed. The fact that he somehow knew that these dresses were to your liking is astonishing. Nevertheless, your chest blooms at his kind yet thoughtful gesture.
A familiar tune rings in your ear, prompting you to retrieve your phone from the bed. Upon seeing the caller ID, the corners of your lips curve up, and your countenance beams with radiance. You eagerly answer his call.
“Hey, baby.”
Maybe it’s the honeymoon stage, which is ironic since you two have never declared your relationship status, but you swear, just hearing his husky voice sends you swooning over him. 
“Hey.” You mentally facepalm at yourself for reciprocating lamely in a sheepish way. 
“I’ve just arrived, but you don’t have to rush. I’ll be taking a smoke break."
“Okay.” Your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth while your eyes begin to wander elsewhere. “So can you tell me now about where you’re bringing me?”
His deep chuckles awaken the untamed butterflies in your tummy. “You’ll see later─ What the fuck?” The abrupt shift in his tone alarms you while you hear blaring engines in the background. “Gotta go, baby. See you in a while.”
Despite your confusion, you tuck your phone in your black purse, which matches the colour of your dress. You do one last examination in the mirror, your eyes flickering at the two fresh hickeys on your neck, testaments to Jay’s proprietary claim over you.
The recollection of last night’s event paints your warm cheeks pink before you shake your head and smack your cheeks with your palms. Yet, you can’t disregard how strongly you feel, as though he really did make love to you last night.
“Going somewhere?” You hear Karina’s voice from behind while you are busily wearing one-inch black heels. Her tone sounds neutral, but still, it’s been a while since she even uttered a word to you.
Recalling her words, a scoff elicits from you. You look over your shoulder to see her leaning against the wall with her arms folded over her stomach, her face an indecipherable contortion. “Since when did you care about where I’m going?”
Karina resigns with a soft sigh. “I don’t want to argue with you again, so wherever you’re going, just stay safe.”
“That’s ironic coming from you since you explicitly declared that you no longer could give a damn about me.” You retort more harshly than you intended. You refuse to listen to another word from her as you storm towards the door and swing it open before exiting the threshold.
As the door slams shut loudly, you flinch, and at the same time, something smacks you in the face as you recall your hostility towards your best friend. You swallow down your guilt as you mask indifference before making your way towards the elevator.
Your phone chimes inside your purse as you step into the elevator. Assuming it’s Jay, you decide to send him a response, but you pause with a frown on your lips at the notification.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: You should leave them while you still can.
Naturally, your mind resorts to the probability of your circle of friends being the ones behind this anonymous text. Huffing annoyedly, you decide to reply.
Y/N: Trying to scare me by becoming anonymous? Seriously, Wonyoung? Yunjin, or whoever you are, but I know it’s one of you girls. Just stop. I won’t ever leave them.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I’m not any of your girls, Y/N.
Y/N: Oh, really? I don't believe you.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: You look gorgeous in that black dress. Going on a date?
“What the─?” Fear widens your eyes as you scan your surroundings before spotting a CCTV at the corner. An eerie chill tightens your spine before you hesitantly type on your phone with trembling fingers.
Y/N: Funny. I know it’s you, Karina. You’ve just seen me out earlier.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: I can assure you that this is no laughing matter, sweetheart.
“Sweetheart?” You mutter the endearment in disbelief, knowing that only one person calls you that.
Y/N: Stop trying to scare me, Heeseung.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Whatever gave you the reason to suspect that I’m him?
Y/N: That’s because you ARE him.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Maybe I am, or maybe I’m not, but regardless, I do not pose a threat to you.
Y/N: It's a bit ironic given that you have yet to tell me who you really are, not forgetting that you’re probably stalking me through that CCTV as we speak. Still, I’m sure you’re Heeseung.
The elevator dings open, prompting you to exit, but your attention is fixed on this mysterious messenger while your heart feels heavily unsettled about it.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart.
Y/N: What do you want from me?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: For now, I’m just giving you some words of advice. Leave them while you still can.
Y/N: Them? As in Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon? But aren’t they your best friends?
UNKNOWN NUMBER: ……. :)
Y/N: What’s with that creepy smiley face?
You wait for his response, and yet nothing comes. You are so tempted to give Heeseung or whoever he is a call, but as your eyes trail to your line of sight, all worries are thrown in the wind.
Jay is decked out in a black suit that looks impeccable on his contours. You can only imagine how fine he looks under that black helmet of his. He appears to be scrolling through his phone with his hands adorned in black gloves while leaning and nearly seated on his sleek bike.
All the while taming your butterflies, you amble towards him, drawing his attention to you as the sound of your heels reaches his ears and prompting him to look up from his phone. Although the visor obscures his face, you can feel his piercing gaze on you and the charming smirk on his countenance.
“Baby.” His voice sounds deeper due to his helmet. Unmoving from his bike, he extends his hand to you, which you gladly take, and a giggle leaves your lips as he pulls to him, nearly missing a step as you instinctively lean into his chest for support.
Your lips are jutting into a pout as you stare at him. “I can’t see you clearly, Jay.”
“Missed my handsome face that much, angel?” He chuckles before pushing his visor up, finally allowing you to meet his dark eyes. “There. Happy?”
“Very.” A sheepish smile curves at your lips, loving how his arms around your waist provide a sense of security. “You look handsome.”
Although you can’t see his lips, you know that he is smirking from the way he is gazing at you. “And you look absolutely darling, baby.”
You can’t contain your giddiness as giggles emit from you while an adoring smile unfurls on his lips. Just as you are about to speak, your body jolts at the abrupt sound of blaring engines metres away from where you are.
When you turn your head to the side, your eyebrows jump in surprise at the sight of two familiar bikers, fittingly clad in similar leathers with their visors pushed up, allowing you to meet their gazes.
“We’re still here, you know?” Sunghoon says loudly over to the both of you while Jake is busy sending you a wink, colouring your cheeks pinker.
“Are they joining us as well?” You ask Jay, confusion lacing in your tone.
You hear Jay scoffing. “No. Even if they wanted to, I wouldn’t allow them, because tonight is about me and you.” He grabs the extra helmet at the side before assisting you to wear it.
“Does it feel secure?” Jay inquires as soon as you manage to fit your head into the helmet. You decide to push your visor up since it feels a little hot and suffocating.
“I’m fine.” You tell him while your eyes are forming the shapes of crescents. Your heart flutters as he gives you a gentle pat on the head before leaning down on you. Grasping it quick, you lean into him before the mouths of your helmets meet, as though the two of you are kissing each other.
“We get it. She’s yours. Don't need to rub it in our faces.” Jake scoffs loudly, directing his annoyed remark at Jay.
Jay simply ignores the jealous man as he hoists you up to mount his bike, your tight black shorts peeking due to your dress being hiked up. You latch your arms around his waist as soon as he mounts in front of you.
Jay looks at you over his shoulder. “Ready?”
“Yes.” Your heart jumps at the ferocious, blaring engine of his bike before he speeds off. You hear Jake and Sunghoon catching up to Jay from behind before they manage to keep up with the velocity, with Sunghoon on your left and Jake on your right.
Your cheeks flare warmly at the fact that you are being surrounded by the same men who are capable of arousing the same butterflies in your tummy. You lean into Jay’s dependable back comfortably, fluttering your eyes closed with a soft, contented smile on your lips.
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“So what exactly is your endgame?” Jungwon inquires as he pops a bubblegum into his mouth, seated leisurely on the swivel chair with both legs resting on the table.
“Knowing Heeseung, probably something that will end up real ugly.” Sunoo snickers, his eyes remaining focused on the billiards, desiring to win against his best pal, Riki.
Riki casts a glance at the foreboding male who is standing by the window and has been staying silent, as though lost in his thoughts, while there is a faraway gaze in his eyes. “Heeseung.” Riki’s deep voice is enough to pull him out of the rumination. “Are you okay?”
Heeseung merely hums in response, his face remaining impassive as ever. “My endgame, you asked?” Soft chuckles emit from him, but the three prodigies are no strangers to the darkness that belies Heeseung.
“With Y/N.” Jungwon states the obvious. “I’m still surprised that she was exempted from the kill list on Devil’s Night.”
“Same. It’s unlike you to make an exception, Heeseung.” Sunoo points out, scoring another victory before shooting Riki a triumphant yet smug smirk.
Riki simply rolls his eyes at Sunoo before diverting his attention to Heeseung. “Does she have something you want? Is that why she was exempt?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” Just as they expect from the most prominent leader, he remains an enigma. They watch in both curiosity and perplexity as Heeseung unfurls a soft smirk on his lips, one of which is adorned with the lip ring. “Even if she was on the kill list, I wouldn’t allow anyone to lay a single hand on her, because Y/N Kang belongs to me.”
“Not right now, she isn’t.” Jungwon snorts a chuckle. “She’s Jay’s. The guy is fucking whipped, because since when did he start posting on his instastory? Let alone a picture of Y/N?”
“I’m so confused.” Riki scratches his head, his face contorting into a confused frown as he stares at Heeseung. “So are you actually sharing her with them?”
Sunoo moves closer to Heeseung and nudges his shoulder with his. “If you are, can I be added?”
“No.” Heeseung’s cold, immediate answer causes Sunoo to pout pettily. “Enough. I won’t entertain any of your questions about Y/N, and don’t even think of preying on her when she’s ours to prey on.”
“Just answer this. Do you have plans on letting her go after achieving whatever ulterior goals you guys have in your sleeves?” Jungwon daringly prods, as expected from the most fearless prodigy out of them.
Heeseung’s callous eyes meet Jungwon’s, and the corner of his lips curves up into a smirk. “I think you know the answer, Jungwon.”
Jungwon mirrors his smirk. “Then I suggest you get another pair of handcuffs. For extra measures, of course.”
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pinkflower2003 · 2 days
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Ferrari Family
Charles Leclerc x Reader
a/n - pure fluff, i am a pregnancy trope girly, it just makes me feel all warm inside!
send your submissions<3
Masterlist
It had been months since you’d attended one of Charles' races. Your absence didn't go unnoticed, especially by the media. Speculation ran rampant. Had you and Charles split up? Was there trouble in paradise? The constant barrage of questions and rumors filled the paddock, but Charles remained tight-lipped, a small smile playing on his lips whenever the topic arose.
Today was different, though. Today, you were making your grand return to the circuit. And it wasn’t just any return—you were eight months pregnant. Charles had been supportive and loving throughout your pregnancy, but you had chosen to stay out of the public eye, relishing the peace and intimacy of your private life. However, with only a month to go before your baby was due, you felt ready to step back into the bustling world of Formula 1, hand-in-hand with Charles.
As you walked through the paddock, it was hard to ignore the stares and whispers. Eyes widened, jaws dropped, and cameras quickly turned your way. You could hear the hushed excitement as fans and workers recognized you, your hand resting protectively over your baby bump. It wasn't long before a crowd began to gather, eager to catch a glimpse of the spectacle.
Charles, who had been busy with pre-race preparations, spotted you from across the paddock. His eyes lit up, and a broad smile spread across his face. He quickly excused himself from the conversation he was having with one of the engineers and made his way toward you.
"Amour!" he called out, his voice filled with pure joy. He closed the distance between you in a matter of seconds, his arms wrapping around you gently but firmly. His hand instinctively found its way to your belly, caressing the curve of your bump tenderly. "You look beautiful," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
You smiled up at him, feeling the familiar warmth of his presence. "I missed you," you replied, resting your head against his chest. The chaos of the paddock faded away, leaving just the two of you in your little bubble of happiness.
"I missed you too," Charles murmured. "And I can't wait for everyone to meet our little one."
As if on cue, a small group of journalists approached, cameras and microphones at the ready. They had been dying for an explanation, and now they had it—plus, they couldn't resist the sight of Charles Leclerc doting on his pregnant girlfriend.
"Charles, Y/N, can we get a word?" one of them called out.
Charles glanced at you, his eyes seeking permission. You nodded, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. This was a big moment, not just for you and Charles, but for your unborn child as well.
"Sure," Charles said, still holding you close. "What do you want to know?"
The journalist smiled, clearly eager to get the scoop. "First of all, congratulations! How are you feeling, Y/N? And why the long absence?"
You took a deep breath, smiling warmly. "Thank you. I'm feeling great, just a bit tired. As for my absence, Charles and I wanted to keep this special time private for as long as possible. We wanted to focus on our family and enjoy these precious moments without the added pressure of the public eye."
Charles nodded in agreement. "It's been important for us to have this time together. But we're excited to share this news with all of you now."
The questions continued, but Charles made sure you weren't overwhelmed. He answered most of them, always deflecting the attention back to you and your well-being. It was clear to everyone just how much he adored you and your growing family.
After the impromptu press conference, you and Charles made your way to the Ferrari garage. The team had been eagerly awaiting your arrival, and as soon as you walked in, they erupted in cheers and applause.
"Welcome back, Y/N!" one of the mechanics called out.
"We've missed you!" another chimed in.
You felt a rush of warmth and gratitude. It was wonderful to be back among friends who felt like family. Charles led you to a spot where you could sit comfortably, making sure you had everything you needed.
"Charles, Y/N, we have a little surprise for you," Frédéric Vasseur, the team principal, announced with a grin.
One of the team members stepped forward, holding a tiny red shirt. It was a baby Ferrari onesie, complete with the team's logo and colors. The sight of it brought tears to your eyes.
"We wanted to make sure the newest member of the Ferrari family is ready for the races," Fred said, handing you the shirt.
You took it, your heart swelling with emotion. "Thank you so much. This means the world to us," you said, your voice choked with happiness.
Charles wrapped his arm around you, his eyes shining with pride. "This is perfect. Our little one will be the best-dressed fan in the paddock."
The rest of the day was filled with joy and celebration. Charles couldn’t stop doting on you and your bump, constantly checking to make sure you were comfortable and happy. He introduced you to everyone who hadn’t had the chance to meet you yet, proudly showing off his beautiful, pregnant girlfriend.
As the race approached, Charles had to shift his focus back to his car and the upcoming competition. He squeezed your hand and kissed you softly. "I'll be thinking about you the whole time," he said.
You smiled, feeling a mix of pride and nerves. "We'll be cheering for you," you promised, placing your hand on your belly. "Both of us."
Charles gave you one last lingering look before heading to his car. You settled into a comfortable seat in the team’s viewing area, surrounded by supportive friends and team members. The excitement was palpable, and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of adrenaline as the race began.
Watching Charles race was always a thrill, but today it felt even more special. Every turn, every overtake, every strategic move made your heart race. You knew how much he loved this sport, and seeing him excel made you feel incredibly proud.
When Charles crossed the finish line in first place, the roar of the crowd was deafening. You jumped up, cheering and clapping, your heart bursting with joy. Charles had done it—he had won, and you were here to witness it.
As soon as he stepped out of the car, Charles made a beeline for you. The cameras followed his every move, capturing the pure elation on his face. He scooped you into his arms, careful not to press too hard against your bump, and spun you around.
"We did it!" he exclaimed, his eyes shining with happiness.
"You did it," you corrected, laughing through your tears. "I'm so proud of you."
Charles kissed you, his lips soft and tender against yours. "I couldn't have done it without you. Both of you."
The team joined in the celebration, surrounding you with cheers and applause. It was a moment of pure joy, a memory that would last a lifetime. Charles' victory was sweeter because you were there to share it with him.
Later, as the celebrations continued, Charles found a quiet moment to sit with you. He placed his hand on your belly, feeling the gentle movements of your baby.
"I can't wait to meet our little one," he said softly. "To hold them, to show them the world. To show them how much I love them."
Tears filled your eyes as you looked at him, your heart overflowing with love. "I can't wait either. They're going to have the best papa in the world."
Charles smiled, his eyes reflecting the depth of his emotions. "And the best mama. We're in this together, Y/N. Always."
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wipe my tears away | j.m.
*:·゚✧ series masterlist | previous part!
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pairing *:·゚ afab!reader x joel miller wc *:·゚6.6k  warnings *:·゚18+! minors please do not interact!! talk of period pain, hormonal emotions, crying, kissing, some manhandling (if you squint), sad attempt at dirty talk, period play (lightly), fingering, maybe some degradation (not really sure), clit stimulation, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (f receiving), squirting/messy cum, p in v penetration (not protected, do better!), one mention of blood… please let me know if i’m missing any major ones!  an *:·゚this is for the girlies who get over emotional during their periods (they are me, i am them). this is a bit longer than intended, but once i got in the zone i literally couldn’t stop, so i hope y’all will enjoy it! kind of unedited, so if anything major jumps out feel free to comment lol. i also wrote this with correct capitalization, where all my previous fics were lowercase bc i couldn’t be bothered to turn on auto caps, so let me know if y’all prefer this format!  check the series masterlist for the series tags!
synopsis *:·゚ joel comes home to find you laying in bed, crying because of period pain. he may not be a full gentleman, but he wouldn’t let you suffer when he has a trick up his sleeve to help sooth the cramps. 
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The pain that begins in your lower abdomen, the feeling that radiates throughout the rest of your lower body with enough force to make you wince, isn’t entirely new. It’s a monthly occurrence, actually. One that you feel like you should be used to by now, considering it’s plagued you for more than half your life. 
But the outbreak had already happened when you first got your period as a teen, and for a while, your body wasn’t receiving the nutrients it needed to sustain that kind of function. It was a double-edged sword, the way you were appreciative that you haven’t had it this bad your entire life, while ruminating on the losses that occurred due to the infection. 
Because it was a different story, now. 
Now, you were eating more than you could ever remember before. Jackson was a thriving community, after all. And you were beyond blessed that you were one of the lucky ones who got to reside within its gates. Now, your body was properly fed and being taken care of for the first time in years, and that double-edged sword reared in your mind again; thankful for the safe space you’ve landed upon, but God, at what cost? Your period pain took you out for days each month, making you feel like a burden even though you physically couldn’t help it. 
Your toe stubbed against a chair in your living room as another cramp worked its way through your body, causing you to cry out for more than one reason. Tears filled your waterline, and a heavy sigh escaped past your lips. The rough material of your jeans was digging into your waistline, your hair felt heavy against your neck and each strand that brushed against your cheek made you want to cut it off, and you just felt so useless. Some logical part of your brain realized this wasn’t really you feeling this way, it was just the hormonal shift, but that didn’t provide any sense of comfort as the tears continued to glide down your face. 
In some ways, you were lucky, as today had been your day off from helping around Jackson. Otherwise, that sense of being a burden to everyone would’ve increased tenfold. You couldn't stop feeling like a burden to yourself, though. You had made a perfectly organized to-do list that was hanging on your fridge of things you wanted to tackle today. 
Your sheets needed to be washed. The floors needed to be swept and mopped, especially after the rain, as Joel and Ellie continued to trek mud through your house by accident. Maria had given you some of the spices that grew in abundance, and you wanted to make one of those simmer pots on the stove that she kept mentioning. 
But doing those chores was the last thing on your mind right now, as another cramp racked its way through your body. Now, you just wanted to go lay in bed wearing nothing but Joel's shirt that you had thrown on earlier and cry while hugging a pillow.
 And so, that’s what you did. 
Your vision was watery as your fingers swiftly worked to unbutton your pants, your feet carrying you out of the living room and into your bedroom before you really even realized what you were doing. Once you hit your bedside, you tugged the jeans down your legs, letting them pool at your feet and leaving them on the ground as you crawl into bed, feeling about as pathetic as you probably looked. Curling up on your side, you reach out blindly and grab onto Joel's pillow, tucking it against your body and letting it provide you a false sense of comfort. After that, the tears start flowing freely. 
You didn’t know how long you laid there, didn’t know how long the sound of your sniffles had filled the room or how long you pressed the pillow against your abdomen. The cramps were still relentless, and it wasn’t like you even had any medicine you could take; expired Tylenol did absolutely nothing anymore. You wish you were more used to this feeling, this pain. But it seemed like the longer you were at Jackson, the worse the symptoms became each month. You had yet to figure out the remedies that were foolproof for this feeling. 
Continuous tears turned into lonely, stray droplets as you held onto the pillow. The room was silent except for the occasional sniff. You had zeroed in on an undone thread on the pillowcase, not paying attention to your surroundings, so you didn’t hear the sound of the front door being pushed open, or the sound of Joel's work boots stomping across the wooden floors. In the corners of your mind, you recognized the voice that was muttering to himself outside your room, but your eyes stayed focused on that singular thread. 
The thought of it being lonely, being apart from the other threads holding the fabric together, made your eyes water again. You could put yourself in its position, the ever present fear of being alone daunting you even now, and that was enough to send the tears over your waterline, racing down your cheeks and onto the pillow once again. The hiccup that came from your inhale was the noise that had the footfalls move towards your room, and through your blurry vision you saw the outline of Joel standing in the doorway. 
“What's wrong?” Through your sniffles, you could sense his urgency, his rough voice filled with nothing but concern, and maybe a little worry. His gaze swept over your body, checking for any possible injury. This was the first time he’d seen you break down to this level, and the sight of you curled into a fetal position, tears streaming down your face with his pillow in your grasp… he prayed to God that another person wasn’t involved with making you feel this way.
It would be a shame to lose his good reputation amongst Jackson because he had to beat some fucker up. 
Your gaze swung up to his face, and you made yourself blink harshly to expel the lingering tears. His face came into focus, the worry lines on his forehead becoming more clear to compliment the frown on his full lips. He had a spot of dirt streaking across his forehead, and his clothes were dirty from spending the day working outside. For whatever reason, the fact that Joel had been out working in the heat for most of the day while you couldn’t even manage to get up and wash your bedsheets made your emotions spiral even more. What is wrong with me? you wondered, hugging the pillow tighter to your body. 
The sound of his work bag hitting the floor echoed through the room, soon followed by the shuffle of his boots being kicked off his feet. His hands were gently pulling the pillow away before you could even register that he was in front of you now, but you felt the bed dip under his weight as he perched himself at the edge. His broad hand rested on your elbow before sliding up your arm, gently caressing your skin until he reached the side of your face. The calluses on his thumb scratched against your skin as he swiped the digit under your eye, wiping away the tears that had pooled. 
“Baby, what’s wrong?” his voice was softer this time, comforting you in a way that had you feeling alright for the first time today. You leaned up on your elbows, and Joel helped guide you into a sitting position across from him, your hands holding on to one of his while his other cupped your face, thumb swiping against skin. The action of sitting up had your cramps rearing their ugly heads again, and your wince was subtle but extremely obvious to Joel, evident by the furrowing of his eyebrows. 
“My uterus is what’s wrong,” the scratchiness of your throat had you coughing slightly, and you worked to clear it before trying again, voice nearly as weak as you felt. “I'm on my period.” Joel's eyes widened in surprise at your admission, but he quickly schooled his features.
This wasn’t his first rodeo; he’d been with you for awhile now, but noticed that each month your symptoms were different. Sometimes, your sudden anger at everything gave away the fact that it was that time of the month. Other times, it was your sweet tooth and your cravings that gave it away. Rarely was it your tears, though, and his heart lurched at this new response. 
When your hands went to wrap around your stomach, applying pressure lightly to help ease the throbbing, his free hand came up to the other side of your face. “‘m sorry, darlin. Know that ain’t the best feeling in the world,” his thumbs were doing a stand up job at wiping away the tears on your cheeks, and soon the only sign that you had been crying was the red glaze surrounding your pupils. 
And the occasional sniffle. 
You leaned into his touch, eyes closing at the surprising amount of comfort that you felt from a pair of hands. You always felt at peace with Joel, though, so you weren’t surprised that his hands had this effect on you. You focused on the rough pads of his skin against the smooth texture of your own, taking in big breaths of air through your nose as your crying spell passed through you. Now you were thinking a little more clearly and felt a little embarrassed by the fact that Joel had walked in on you crying over a thread on a pillow case. Not that he’d ever know that’s what you were crying about. 
“It's okay. I'm sorry if i scared you or anything,” you started, opening your eyes to meet Joel's dark gaze. You offered him a small smile. “I really just need to learn how to deal with these cramps without them taking over my day. They seem to be getting worse and worse each month.” Your hands trailed up to grip his forearms, squeezing them affectionately as a wave of exhaustion flitted through your body. 
Joel's eyes squinted slightly. “Cramps, huh?” he mused, the corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly. In the far corner of his mind, he recalled a younger Tommy swearing by a foolproof activity that helped one of his girlfriends with her cramps when medicine didn’t cut it. He wasn’t sure he believed Tommy then, or even now, for that matter. But he knew how much you struggled with the pain, and he’d feel like a real jerk if he didn’t at least give this a go. 
“Think I know somethin’ that could help with that.” He pulled your head forward, pressing a chaste kiss on top of your forehead before dropping his hands and pushing off of the bed. You were slightly dazed, partly at the display of affection but also at the quickness in which Joel was walking to the bathroom. When he came back into the room with an old towel, you couldn’t help but look at him suspiciously. 
“Joel…”
“Do you trust me?” He asked, tossing the towel on the bed and leaning down to look at you, eye to eye. His demeanor was calm, but his eyes shined with a hint of mischievousness, and the smirk on his mouth was nothing but trouble. It made him look younger, almost. Like the gray in his beard and around the temples of his hair was there prematurely. You wondered if he was like that more before the outbreak, and you reveled in this glimpse of his past self that he was allowing you to see. 
“Of course I do.” Your answer was absolute, eyes showing no signs of distrust or wariness as you maintained contact with Joel’s. He reveled in the sureness of your answer, in the fact that it didn’t even take you more than a second to respond to his question. The smirk became a full blown grin, and you couldn’t help but mirror it on your own face as you wondered what the heck this man was thinking. 
“Good. In that case, I'm gonna go clean myself up,” his lips pressed against yours in a swift kiss before he backed away, fingers stretching to the hem of his t-shirt. “You’re gonna strip out of those panties, spread that towel out underneath you, and wait for me to come back. Okay?” One of his eyebrows notched up, awaiting your response. 
“Sir, yes, sir,” you teased, sending him off with a mocking salute. It earned you an eye roll, something he had been picking up more and more from Ellie's influence, no doubt. The sound of your giggle followed him into the bathroom, where he quickly worked to discard his dirty clothes and rinse off. The thought of you laying in bed with just his t-shirt on had him adjusting himself underneath the water stream. 
Meanwhile, you were working at a slower pace. 
You gingerly took the threadbare towel between your hands, kneeling up on your knees to place it where you thought would work best. You were starting to get an idea of what Joel was planning, and while you’ve never done anything like this before, you weren’t absolutely hating it. After you had smoothed the fabric out, you climbed back against the pillows, hooking your thumbs under the waistband of your panties and sliding them down. The pad on the inside showed slight signs of blood, so at least you weren’t bleeding too heavily right now. Usually that came after a day or two of the cramps. 
You were combing your fingers through your hair when Joel walked back into the room, pausing at the threshold while you both took each other in. His hair was damp, droplets of water occasionally dripping on his forehead, brushed back at the edges and the tops to keep it out of his face. He had been growing it out a little longer, though you knew when summer fully came around, it’d be time to clip it. 
He’d changed out of a plain, gray t-shirt into another plain, gray t-shirt - clearly a staple in his wardrobe - and you had to admire the way he was filling it out. The sleeves hugged the middle of his biceps, straining against the pure muscle that had been building up. The shirt fit loose around his chest, but you could see the way it was snug around his tummy area, the small pouch of his stomach highlighted by the thin material. 
You weren’t the only one who had been eating better since arriving at Jackson; Joel was starting to bulk up and you were loving it. 
Having ended his workday earlier, and foreseeing spending the rest of the day in bed with you, he had pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants that clung to his thighs and offered very little to the imagination when it came to the thick imprint between his legs. The sight of him had your thighs clenching together automatically, heat racing through your body like a fever. 
And he knew it, too. You could tell by the smirk on his lips, the way his gaze strayed from your eyes to your legs. He loved having that affect on you, loved seeing how needy you became by just the thought of being with him. 
He walked to the other side of the bed, his eyes focused solely on you in his red shirt, the way your legs were crossed at the bottom, giving him just the smallest peak of bare skin underneath. You listen to him so well, he couldn’t help but admire. You gave him your trust so easily, and that was one of the few things that Joel considered to be precious in this world. He'd never make you regret that choice. 
Leaning up on your elbows, your body naturally turned towards him when he finally settled himself on his side next to you. One of his arms slipped behind your head, tucking you into his body as the other came up to guide your face to his. His lips were soft against your own, and all the tension you had felt from crying earlier completely disappeared. 
Your hands clung to his arm as he kissed you, a soft sigh escaping through your lips. Joel took the opening to deepen the kiss, sliding his tongue against your bottom lip before dipping it into your mouth. Your mind was growing fuzzy, and you simply let Joel manipulate you how he wanted, eagerly offering yourself to him. 
His mouth stayed on yours, your noses brushing against each other with every tilt of the head, but his hand strayed from your cheek. It paved a path to the collar of the t-shirt, where he fisted the material and tugged it towards himself, halfway pulling you on top of him with the movement. Your hands flung out to his chest to stop yourself from completely crashing into him, and a groan sounded against your mouth as Joel felt the tips of your fingers dig into the skin. 
He soon abandoned the collar, letting his palm slide down the expanse of your torso and bunching the shirt up a little before settling it right over your lower abdomen, fingers splayed out wide against your bare skin. The heat radiating from his palm on your skin was like your own personal heating pad; the soreness that ebbed from your cramps seemed to dissipate the longer his hand rested against your skin, the action making your head spin as you focused on breathing through your nose as Joel’s tongue traced along yours. 
Joel’s mouth trailed from your lips down to your jaw, down to your neck. The stubble growing on his face scratched at your skin when he nuzzled himself in the crook of your neck, causing a combination of a laugh and a moan to flutter past your lips. You could feel him smile against your skin before nipping at it gently, using his lips and tongue to ebb the slight pain away. You could feel him sucking at your skin, and you knew in the morning you’d regret the red and purple marks that would litter your skin, but right now, the feeling was absolute heaven. 
“Spread those legs for me, baby.” The words were whispered against your skin, accompanied by a quick tap to your thighs. You didn’t hesitate to obey; your left leg fell to the side while you rested your right leg on top of Joel's. His hand slipped from your stomach to your upper thigh, gripping the fleshy inside as he helped adjust it higher on his body. 
The cool air from the fan had you shivering as it made contact with your bare skin, emphasizing the wet slick that had formed between your legs. Joel's mouth found itself back on yours, his kiss turning punishing, almost, as his hand slowly moved down your inner thigh; his teeth were biting and pulling at your lower lip, his fingers were digging into your skin as he kneaded and gripped your thigh. 
“Joel,” you mewled, stretching up slightly to angle your hips closer to his hand. You were settled in the crook of his elbow, and his arm came up to bare against your throat ever so slightly. He essentially had you in a headlock, and you were helpless to anything he administered. Goosebumps prickled along your skin, and you whined once more when his fingers brushed against the crease of your leg. 
“Shh, s’okay, baby. Let me take care of you,” his words were soothing, soft. A complete contrast to the way he was handling your body, and it was all you could do but nod in response, eyes wide and trusting as they held contact with him. His pupils were so dilated that you could barely see the rim of brown, even this close. 
Another sharp tap to your inner thigh had you gasping, and Joel's mouth formed into a smirk as his calloused fingers eased the spot. You’d like to blame the hormones fluttering around your body for the desperation you were feeling for Joel, but part of you knew that he simply just had this affect on you. You always grew so needy for his attention, for his touch. Being with him was the only time your brain truly shut off and allowed you to feel safe, relaxed. 
His fingertips were stroking the inside of your thigh like it was the strings on one of his guitars, a slow but firm sensation that had you humming; he was playing a different kind of instrument with you. You could feel yourself growing slicker, the bubble in your chest expanding as he teased you, touched you. 
“Joel, please…” you trailed off, turning your head to the side and bumping the edge of his jaw with your nose. His gaze had slipped to where his fingers were caressing your skin, basking in the suppleness of your skin that so vastly compared to the roughness of his. You felt like a dream. 
“Such pretty manners,.” he mocked, grinning to himself before meeting your eyes once more. “Since you asked nicely, though…” The kiss he pressed on your nose was soft, but your focus was on how his fingers were finally crossing over the crease in your thigh, finally trailing down to your core. 
The first swipe of his fingers through your folds had a small moan emit from your mouth, and a curse came from Joel’s as he felt how wet you were already. “Shit, baby,” he muttered to himself more than anything, watching his fingers as he lifted them up into the light to see the shine. Chest heaving, you watched as he brought his fingers up to his mouth, watched as he placed them on his tongue before closing his lips around the digits and sucking on them while he pulled them out. 
His fingers were now wet with his spit, evident by the thin strand of saliva still connecting his mouth to his fingers. The sight alone had your toes curling against the mattress, your mouth open slightly as you watched him bring his hand back down to your pussy. Your breath left you as his second swipe was firmer, the tips of his fingers passing along your clit for a brief moment before moving back down. 
His forearm flexed slightly against your neck, his free hand moving down to brush against the top of your chest. One of your hands moved to grip his arm, nails digging into skin ever so slightly as Joel’s fingers brushed your entrance, swirling around slightly to gather the wetness that had formed. A soft sigh left his mouth as he felt you, and the next moment, two of his fingers were swiftly pushing inside of you. 
“Joel!” You gasped out, back arching into his touch as he pumped his fingers into you once, twice, three times before pulling them out. Joel huffed out a laugh at your whine from the loss of contact, glancing down at you to see your reaction to him circling your clit with the pad of his thumb. He was rewarded with the softest of sighs, and the sight of your eyes rolling shut while your mouth parted open. 
He didn’t hesitate to capture your lips with his, his mouth against yours as firm as his thumb on your clit. The kiss was quick, and Joel’s nose brushed against yours as he pulled back ever so slightly. “Such a pretty girl, achin’ for me to fill you up. My fingers feel real nice against your pussy now, don't they, baby?” 
A short and snappy nod was your form of a response, as you were solely focused on the way Joel’s middle finger was circling your clit now. Your hips bucked up as waves of pleasure wracked your body, Joel’s expert fingers bringing you relief you so desperately needed. The action had Joel smirking above you, had his hips grinding slightly against your thigh in a sad attempt at getting some friction for his now hard cock. 
Joel pulled back from his admissions on your clit, sliding his middle finger through the center of you before slowly inserting it back inside you. The gasp that left your mouth was music to his ears, and he began moving it in and out, curling it up once it was fully inside your wet pussy. Head falling back against Joel’s arm, your legs widening even further as Joel picked up a steady rhythm with his one finger. 
“So good, Joel,” you rasped, voice breathless as Joel’s finger curled against the spongy part inside of you that had your body jerking in response. Licking your lips, you pulled the bottom lip into your mouth, teeth sinking in as the pleasure continued to build up in your body. Your right hand moved to rest on his wrist, while the other stayed gripping his left forearm. 
Basking in your praise, Joel withdrew his middle finger and, when he pumped it back inside, added his ring finger. The addition had you groaning, feeling his two fingers stretch you out slowly as he pushed them inside and pulled them out. You felt Joel’s lips press against your forehead as he worked to pick up the pace, and soon all that could be heard in the room was the wet sound of your pussy being fucked by his fingers. 
“God, I could listen to you all night,” he mumbled, curling his fingers in a “come here” motion inside you and marveling at how drenched you sounded. “So fuckin’ wet for me, sweetheart. Haven’t even taken my cock yet, either, you needy thing.” 
His words only sparked the fire inside your chest even more, and soon you were moaning his name over and over again in some kind of sick prayer as he filled you with his fingers. Your mouth dropped open as his thumb moved to glide against your clit, pleasure radiating throughout your body. 
Your fingers dug half-moon indentions in Joel’s tanned skin as the waves of pleasure finally crested. 
Your body went rigid in his hold as your orgasm peaked, his fingers never ceasing in motion as your hips began to shake against his hand. He muttered soft praises as you came, moving his arm from across your chest and intertwining your fingers with his. You gasped for air as you came down, thighs twitching ever so slightly as you soon became putty against Joel’s body. 
Only then did he pull his fingers out from inside of you. He kissed your forehead once more, cupping your drenched pussy with the palm of his hand. Your chest was heaving still from the orgasm, body feeling tired once more but for a completely different reason. Resting your head back on Joel’s arm, you glance up at him, expecting him to move his hand away and maybe help you clean up. 
Instead, Joel’s dark gaze was solely focused on your pussy again. Instead of moving his hand away, he slowly moved it up your center, stopping only when his middle finger brushed against your clit. He moved his hand to the side slightly, letting the tips of his other fingers brush against the sensitive nub, before sliding it the other way. His action was slow, methodical even. 
“Joel,” you ventured, squeezing his hand that rested in yours. His jaw twitched, but that was the only response you got. He leaned up on his elbow, your hand moving up along the mattress as he did so. Now, your interlaced hands rested above you, on the pillow, as Joel’s upper body hovered on top of yours. 
Ever so slowly, Joel resumed the movement of his hand, sliding to one side before moving it to the other. His fingers all brushed against your clit, and the overstimulation you felt had your thighs closing together. 
“Keep ‘em open, baby.” Joel admonished, his grip on your hand tightening slightly. His free hand pushed away your left leg before returning back to your clit, and you swore you could feel the wetness lingering on your skin from him doing so. The roughness of the towel underneath you prickled at your skin as your hips twitched from the continued pleasure. 
“Joel,” you ventured again, this time more of a plea than anything. Tears formed on your waterline when he picked up the pace, his hand firmly rubbing against your clit each time he moved it. That bubble of pleasure formed more quickly in your chest, the feeling fiery and almost suffocating as Joel’s movements were relentless. 
“Give me one more,” his voice was rough, distant. “Just one more.” His hand dipped to cup your pussy once more, gliding up through your folds and moving the wetness from there up to your clit. The added lubrication and friction as Joel increased his pace had you crying out, body arching forward at the onslaught of pleasure. 
Your orgasm approached much faster this time, and you could feel your slick dripping down your skin onto the towel. “Oh my God,” you whimpered, your hand painfully holding onto Joel’s while the other, which had moved to rest on his hip, gripped his t-shirt. “Oh, God.” 
This time, when you came, the bubble dropped from your chest and to your stomach and your body went limp as soon as your orgasm tore through you. Your mind was a haze of euphoria, and if you were more cognizant you would have been embarrassed at the feeling of your wetness squirting out from you, would have felt heated at the way Joel praised your body. Instead, you were blissfully gone, basking in the sensation that only Joel’s fingers knew how to bring you. 
Joel’s hand slipped from yours as he pulled his arm up from underneath you, and before you were even aware of the shift, he was up on his knees, moving in between your legs and tugging his flannel pants down. “Gotta fuck you, baby. Jesus Christ, you came so good for me.” His hands bracketed your head as he leaned up against your body, the head of his leaking cock pressed against your wet slit. 
You hummed at his praise, wrapping your weak arms around his neck as you shifted your thighs a little wider to accommodate for his hips. You weren’t entirely sure you could handle another orgasm, but you knew you were desperate to have him inside of you. His head ducked down to yours, and you enthusiastically pressed your lips against his, enveloping his hips with your legs in consent. 
With a nip at your bottom lip, he slowly pressed the tip of his cock in between your folds, gathering the wetness that had accumulated near your entrance before moving his hips even further. The head of his cock pushed into your pussy, stretching you out even more than his fingers did previously. Joel groaned into your mouth as he pumped his hips slightly, pulling out of you before sinking just the tip inside you again.  
“Fuck, sweetheart. My fingers didn’t stretch out your pussy enough, huh? S’fuckin’ tight as hell around my cock.” One of his hands came to brush aside your hair, cupping the side of your face gently while his hips snapped into yours. You cried out against his mouth, the feeling of being filled so suddenly causing you to wince slightly. You welcomed this pain, however, as it quickly gave way to pleasure the more Joel rocked his hips against yours. 
Joel rested his hips against yours for a moment, his head falling down to your chest as he reveled in the tightness surrounding his cock. His breaths came out in short pants, the hand laying next to your head turning into a fist against the mattress. Your hips move up slightly, seeking out the pleasure even after coming twice before, and it brings Joel in further, causing you both to curse. 
“So desperate for me to fuck you,” Joel’s words are accented by short, quick thrusts up inside of you. He pushed up off of you, your arms falling to the bed beside you while your legs fall open as they untangle from his waist. His hands grip the inside of your thighs, and he leans his weight forward a little, pinning your legs to the bed. 
“I am, Joel. P-please fuck me,” you beg, gripping the sheets between your fingers as your hips meet his thrusts. Joel starts off slowly, implanting you fully on his cock before slowly pulling back until just the tip presses against your pussy. His bruising grip on your thighs holds your legs open while he works himself in and out of you, eyes cast on how your slick coats his cock, the occasional red streak coloring his flesh. 
A stray curl of hair falls from his previously brushed back hair, and you itch to swipe it back into place, but his pace quickens and your hold on the bed keeps you from banging against the bed frame. The sound of his cock entering your wet pussy fills the room, the indecency of it causing your skin to flush with heat. Joel’s groans start to find time with your whimpers, and soon the noises of sex are emitting throughout the bedroom, throughout the house. 
Joel’s hands move away from your thighs, traveling up your stomach and pushing up his red t-shirt to see your boobs bouncing with each thrust. He admires the peaks of your nipples, the way goosebumps arise on your flesh as it’s exposed to the cool air, before bringing both hands to grip onto them. His thumbs and forefingers pinch at your nipples, the pain mixing in with the pleasure seamlessly. 
Your eyes fall shut on a moan, body arching into his touch as you clench around Joel, causing him to curse. The familiar sensation of heat fills your body, that third orgasm floating slightly out of reach. You move one of your hands down to your pussy, resting it on your mound. Your fingertips brush against Joel’s cock every time he withdraws, and you moan at how slick he feels before bringing your fingers to your clit. 
“That’s it, baby. Make yourself come on my cock,” Joel encourages, gaze focused on the way your fingers nimbly play with your throbbing clit. His hands squeeze your breasts roughly one last time before he leans up, gripping your ankles and bringing your legs to rest on top of his shoulders. Your thighs press against his cock as he fucks you, adding in another level of pleasure for him as he fights back his orgasm. 
“Just like that, Joel. Just like that…oh!” Your cries fill the room as he pounds into you, your fingers increasing the pace against your clit. Your movements are shaky, not precise in the slightest, but you’re still sensitive and wound up from your previous orgasms that it doesn’t take much to get your third one going. With a few clumsy swipes of your middle finger against your clit, and Joel’s cock ruthlessly hammering in and out of you, your final orgasm floods through your body. 
Joel curses as he feels your pussy clench around him, making his movements stagger with how tight you become. He gives a few more deep thrusts, his own movements becoming shaky and less precise, and he soon slips out of you, rubbing the length of his cock along your pussy lips as you gush with your orgasm. With a grunt, he follows soon, his own cum spurting out of his red cockhead and on to your lower stomach. 
Your legs fall meekly to the bed again, and Joel’s body sags forward a little before he props himself back up with his hands. The sound of you both panting is all that can be heard as you both come down from your orgasms; you, eyes closed and mouth open. Joel, eyes open and mouth closed, nostrils flaring slightly as he regulates himself. 
It takes a moment before you both get back to yourselves, but when you do, you become increasingly aware of the wet feeling underneath your lower body, which causes you to giggle. “Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t get around to cleaning my sheets today, huh?” 
A snort comes out of Joel, his head shaking slightly as he moves to brush back his hair. He takes in the sight of you, freshly fucked and thouroughly spent, and can’t help but grin. He might be older, but he relishes the fact that he can still please you like this. That you actually want him to do so. Makes him feel like a god among men. 
He sees the tears around your lash line from your last two orgasms, and he leans forward slightly to wipe them away with his thumb, triggering in his mind the conversation you both had before this all started. “Feelin’ alright?” His gaze moves around your body, checking to see if he hurt you in any way. He notes the red marks against the side of your neck, the cum on your lower stomach and the beginnings of many small bruises along the inside of your thigh from where he gripped them to keep them open. 
He’d be more worried about those if he didn’t know how much you loved having him mark you up. 
“Just peachy,” you grinned at him, propping yourself up on your elbows to take in the mess below you. Joel leaned in to meet you, his kiss soft and soothing as his lips slid against yours. After a moment, he pulls away again, awkwardly shuffling to the edge of the bed before standing up. Hiking up his pants, he moves to the bathroom to get a washcloth to start cleaning you up. 
After wiping away his cum and your wetness, he gently helps you off the bed, holding your arm as your legs fumble when your feet hit the ground. His pride grows then, and you smack his arm playfully when you catch sight of his grin. “Sorry,” he mutters, pressing a kiss against the side of your head before moving to gather up the dirty towel from the bed. He tosses it into the hamper before leading you to the bathroom. 
There, he draws you a hot bath, guiding you in the tub and before pulling his clothes off and joining you. It’s a cramped space, the bathtub not technically suitable for two, but you make it work. You lean your head against Joel’s shoulders, sinking into his body as his arms wrap around your middle. You know you should do something with your bedding soon, should make sure you have the guest room set up so the two of you can sleep somewhere remotely comfortable tonight, but for now, you bask in his presence. 
“Thank you for taking care of me, Joel.” You say softly, closing your eyes and letting the hot water ease away any lingering soreness your body has. His arms tighten around you as you trace mindless shapes against his thighs. He tilts his head to the side, kissing your forehead before resting his on top of yours. 
“Anytime, baby.” His breathing evens out with yours, stubble rubbing against your forehead as he speaks. “I’ll always be here to wipe your tears away.” 
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mrsmarinara · 3 days
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Can you write for Quinn with the “Can I sleep with you?” Prompt pls
Oliver The Orca || Quinn Hughes
Part of The Hockey Babies AU
Prompt: 29. “Can I sleep with you?”
Warnings: anxiety, fear of the future
WC: 6.8k
A/N: This was meant to be short and sweet jfc lol. I decided because it’s so long that I’d make this the origin for them in my Hockey Babies Au.
Summary: Since moving to Michigan as a child, you’ve been annoyed by the eldest child that lived next door. Neither of your parents care and insist on a camping trip before every school year.
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Camping trips were not for you. You were meant for the city or at least a relatively mid-sized town. Not trees, bugs, and a tent that you had to put together yourself. Well, that last part was only somewhat true because after failing to put your tent together three times and watching it collapse Quinn had come over to help you. By help, it meant that you stood back and made sure not to touch anything, per his request. 
It happens every year. With your parents being friends with Ellen and Jim Hughes there was always a Summer camping trip before school started. When you asked your mother why she insisted that you go she simply told you that as you grow up life moves by fast and that close friends you once had growing up may not be around when you get older. Hence, the camping trip. 
You didn’t know much about your mom before your family moved to Michigan. In your defense, how much was a six-year-old supposed to know about their parents? 
Even when you were young, your mom liked to talk about her childhood and the one thing and person that was always a constant in her stories was a woman named Ellen. According to your mom, she and Ellen had gone to high school and college together. When they parted ways after graduation their communication slowly died out that was until you moved into your brand new house in Michigan. 
As your dad drove the van down the suburban streets filled with large houses, you couldn’t help but think that Michigan didn’t seem all that much different from anywhere else you had lived in your short six years. Your younger brother was excited enough for both of you. You weren’t easily annoyed by your brother but his nonsensical 4-year-old ramblings about everything he saw made you roll your eyes. He didn’t get it. He wasn’t leaving behind any friends or starting at a new school. If your family stayed here this is all he would ever remember, not the home or neighborhood you lived in before. 
Your dad seemed to notice your sour mood and tried to point things out that would usually catch your attention. He talked about how there would be more room for you to play, and that there was a lake nearby where you could swim in the summer. Your mom even suggested that you could learn how to ice skate during the winter when the lake froze over. None of it interested you until your dad told you that you would finally have your own bedroom. 
That made you perk up. At some point, you were sure that you had to have had your own bedroom at some point. You didn’t remember it because for as long as you could remember you shared a bedroom with your brother. For the rest of the drive, you sat back in your booster seat, thinking about how you would decorate it and if you could somehow convince your parents to let you have your own television. When you started school you could have sleepovers whenever you wanted!
That sounded nice. You’ve been trying to tell them since the few months since your birthday that you were a big girl now and six-year-olds are too old to share a bedroom with their brothers, especially a snot-nosed tattle tale like your brother.
The rest of your family chatted merrily, talking about all the great things living in this neighborhood would have, and how your dad’s new job would be great for the family because he’d be around a lot more. Your parents didn’t try to pull you back into the conversation, knowing that a neutral mood from you would be better than a grumpy one. 
Finally, when you pulled up to what was to be your new house, you couldn’t help but let out a gasp. It was large and white and there was even a porch. It was like one of those houses you saw in movies or on the covers of the magazines your mom read while waiting in line to buy her groceries. 
You refused to let yourself feel too excited about it, though. Your parents had to know that you didn’t approve of this move and that you were still upset about leaving your friends behind and your old home, and the fact that you had to get rid of half of your stuffed animals to make room in the van for a move you didn’t even want! 
You flinched when suddenly you heard your mother shriek and nearly jump out of the car, even though your dad had yet to put it into park. You watched in confusion as your mother waved her arms about to get some other woman’s attention. It seemed to work because the other woman turned away from what you presumed were her three sons, who had to be around the same age as you and your brother and embraced your mother in a tight hug. 
Finally pulling into the driveway slowly and parking the car, your dad went over to unbuckle your brother from his seat and just like your mother he scrambled out of the car to meet the children who were standing behind the woman mom was talking animatedly to. You watch from your seat as your mom introduces your brother to this strange new woman - you wonder if it’s Ellen, the one whom your mom has pictures of from when they were young. She looks similar, taller than your mom, leaner, and with the build of an athlete, and her blonde hair is a stark contrast to your own mom’s darker shade.
Even her smile is the same. You were told you were moving to be closer to your dad’s new job but now you can’t help but wonder if your mom knew that she would somehow be neighbors with her old friend. 
When your dad comes around to help unbuckle your booster seat, you sit back and let him, now eyeing the three boys in roller skates and hockey sticks. It’s the middle one you think that your brother is mainly talking to. Mainly because the youngest, either still a toddler or just a little bit older is holding onto his mom’s leg as he takes in the new people. The other one has to be the oldest, you think, with the way his face is set into a serious mask, and is the only one that has seemed to notice you. 
You don’t like that he’s watching you. You don’t know him but at that same time, that’s why you don’t put up resistance to being unbuckled, where normally you would have. You didn’t want to seem like a loser so quickly after moving here. You haven’t even stepped foot into your new house yet. 
When your dad helps you clamber out of the car, you make sure to grab your favorite stuffed animal that you were allowed to bring on the trip. When your parents had brought you to Build-a-Bear, they probably thought you’d get a regular bear or an expensive dog but instead, you picked an orca. An orca that you named Oliver who never once left your side. 
“Do I have to meet them?” you pulled on your dad’s shirt so that you could be face-to-face with him. You could see that he was trying to hold back a laugh but a light smile still found its way onto his lips. He wasn’t fooling you, though. With as much seriousness as you could muster on your small round face, you continued, “Can’t we see the house first and see these people tomorrow?”
Your dad sighed and replied, “Your mom and brother are already over there. Your mom is catching up with an old friend and your brother, it looks like is making a new friend himself.”
You grumbled something under your breath but your dad ignored it.
“We won’t stay out here for long and it’s nice to get to know you’re neighbors.” He added. “If you get too nervous or you want to leave squeeze your stuffed animal or hand him to me and I’ll get the message that it’s time to go.”
“Oliver,” you muttered. “His name is Oliver.”
He patted down your hair which had gotten more messy as the day went on and hummed apologetically, “I’m sorry, will you tell Oliver that?”
You nodded and with Oliver tucked under one arm, you grabbed your dad’s hand with the other and walked over to the others. You dropped his hand but remained close by, even when he moved closer to your mom and threw his arm around her.
When your mom finally noticed you she introduced you to everyone, “This is my daughter,” your mom announced. 
After telling them all your names, the other woman laughed. It was bright and kind. “You always did say if you had a daughter one day, that’s what you would name her.”
They shared one more laugh before your mom continued, “Darling, this is Luke,” he was still holding onto his mom’s leg and you noticed his hair was the brightest. Up close you realized that your original guess of four was wrong. He was barely three years old. You waved shyly at the younger boy and smiled, “This is Jack, he claims to like hockey more than his brothers,” which made the tallest one huff a breathy laugh. “He’s the same age as your brother, isn’t that nice?”
You weren’t sure what to say to that so you just nodded.
“This one, right here,” your mom said with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes that you couldn’t decipher, “is Quinn. He’s the oldest and just so happens to be around your age.”
You took him all in now that you were only standing a few feet away. His hair was much darker and his complexion was pale, you couldn’t help but wonder what he looked like in the winter. He didn’t smile but his eyes weren’t unkind. 
He broke the silence well by holding up his hand for you to shake.
“It’s nice to meet you,” he politely said. You replied, saying the same thing and holding Oliver closer to you. 
You wouldn’t consider yourself a shy child but it was the way that everyone was so engrossed in the conversation the adults were having while Quinn kept his eyes on you the whole time. You couldn’t pinpoint how it made you feel. You were annoyed that you were singled out but at the same time, a warm buzzing feeling hummed through you as you were the sole focus of someone’s attention. 
It all felt like too much, though, and eventually, you handed your stuffed animal to your dad. He was a man of his word and in less than five minutes your mom was wrapping up her conversation with Ellen.
You thought the interaction was over but as you had turned to walk away Ellen shouted one last thing that made your mom’s ears perk up. She turned around and Ellen said, “Every summer before school begins we go on a camping trip. We go for about three days. We leave in a week, I’d love it if you could all come.”  
Without looking at your brother or you, or your father for that matter, your mother agreed happily. You know that meant that before you were even unpacked she would drag everyone to the store to buy camping gear. 
This time you truly thought you were done because now your parents had started to walk out of earshot and Ellen had started to help Luke take off his roller skates. 
However, loud enough for you to hear but quiet enough for everyone else not to, you heard Quinn utter the words, “Don’t forget to bring your orca on the trip.”
You didn’t stop, exactly. You tripped on an uneven part of the sidewalk and managed to catch yourself before falling flat on your face. You looked back at the oldest Hughes and saw that he was gone. 
You weren’t a drama queen, no matter how many relatives tried to tell you you were. You were picky and you knew what you liked but you never expected others to understand, that would have been rude. However, how had Quinn known that Oliver was an Orca? Nobody knew, especially children your age. You only knew because one day your dad fell asleep watching a documentary about sea life. Every time someone would guess what your stuffed animal was they often guess a whale, which was a common misconception. One time you heard someone call it a narwhal. You were offended on Oliver’s behalf but secretly found it a little funny. 
You stopped letting it bother you but the surprise and shock you felt when someone knew what Oliver was made you radiate happiness. It probably seemed ridiculous to most people but Oliver was important to you. All the grumpiness in the car from earlier had disappeared. That didn’t mean you actually liked the eldest of the three brothers. He was quiet and seemed sort of grumpy and acted like he wanted nothing to do with you. 
Your first family camping trip was filled with highs and lows. Jim Hughes taught you how to fish, and you soon realized that you hated it but he seemed to enjoy it so you went along with it. You taught Luke how to make a flower crown. Your mom and Ellen gossiped about their time in school and all the time in between that they missed. 
Quinn on the other hand, barely spoke to you. It wasn’t subtle either, everyone was aware and thought the two of you would work it out by the end of the trip. It’s not like you were avoiding him. Maybe a little but not as much as he was trying to avoid you. 
All of it made any little spark inside you that wanted to be his friend die. So you vowed for the rest of the trip to ignore him. It felt better to be the one doing the ignoring and not the one being ignored. 
When school started you were put into different classes so thankfully the only time you had to see Quinn was lunch time and even then the two of you would sit across the cafeteria to sit with your friends.
For years it had worked. You were cordial as neighbors and put on pleasant smiles for your parents when they decided to have a dinner night with both families. At school you didn’t talk, sometimes you would catch him glancing over at you but you never brought it up. If he had a staring problem that would have to be something he would have to deal with on his own.
The camping trips usually went smoothly. At least up until this last year. There was always so much to do that it was easy to shrug off any attempts anyone made for you to hang out with Quinn. You were nineteen and he was turning the same age in a month. 
This could very well be the last camping trip you spent with everyone and sometimes, late at night, the feeling of not seeing Quinn again hurt but then you remembered his judgemental stares and how pretty, skinny, blonde girls would fawn over him once he became a hockey player in the NHL.
Your own thoughts startle you. What do you care if a bunch of girls threw themselves at Quinn while you were away? You especially didn’t care if he took an interest in any of them. He already went to and played hockey at the University of Michigan. You couldn’t think of one instance where he didn’t have several different options for who he spent the night with. When he goes to play for the NHL, nothing will have changed. 
(Other than everything. In Michigan, you knew you would see him again. When he moved he wouldn’t be there when you came to visit.)
This was one of the reasons you couldn’t stand Quinn most of the time. He jumbled up your thoughts and you didn’t know what to do with them. With Jack and Luke, it was different,
they had become like a second set of brothers with how often they were over at your house. Quinn, even though the offer was extended to him by every one of your family members, he still never came over. 
From the get-go, it was clear that ignoring Quinn for the entire trip wasn’t going to happen.
On the first night, you followed the routine that you had developed over the several years of camping. There was one problem, though, and that was since your first camping trip to now, you had never gotten the hang of putting your tent together. You tried! But someone would always have to help you in the end. You looked around for your brother or your dad but when you turned back to the pile of what was meant to be your tent on the ground, Quinn had come over and silently helped to put it together.
Few words were exchanged, such as, “Can you stand over there?”“Don’t touch that.” and “Hold onto that for a second.”
When your tent was all propped up and ready for you, you went to say ‘thank you’ but Quinn was already walking off to help your dad unload bags from his car. 
By the time you had everything all laid out, your sleeping bag, an extra blanket, a flashlight, and of course Oliver the Orca, the sun had begun to set. Jim called for everyone to come gather around the campfire. You pulled a hoodie over your t-shirt and claimed a spot on the log near the fire. You weren’t the last to arrive, as you waited for Jack, your brother, and Quinn to arrive you stared into the crackling campfire. 
The camping trip had been pushed back this year so now it was late September and there was a little chill in the air and the warmth from the fire was enough to warm you up. 
Luckily for you, in a week you would be heading back to school for your second year at the University of Oregon. It wasn’t your first choice and you knew it would get cold there too, but when you toured the school before your first year, you fell in love with the area. It was lush and green and had everything you wanted. 
Quinn gave you what had to have been a sarcastic smile when he finally plopped down on the log on the other side of the fire. You made a show of rolling your eyes at him in return. The little grin that wanted to come up was swallowed back down when you realized that you would miss this. The playfulness that snuck in between both of your two soured your mood.
Looking at Quinn brought back another thought that you’ve recently been thinking about. It was something that would nag at you as you packed up your room and took late-night walks around the neighborhood. You were afraid of getting homesick. You got homesick the first year you went away to college but you were expecting that. It was different, though, you were aching for some type of freedom. You loved your friends and family, and for the first time in your life, you would be free to do whatever you wanted without someone hovering over you. 
This year felt different. Your friends from home had started to settle in the cities and towns that they chose to move to. Your little brother was looking at colleges on the East Coast and even Jack was going into the NHL draft this year. With Quinn going to Vancouver to play for the Canucks, he would be the one that you would be the closest to but Vancouver was still a distance from Eugene, Oregon. There was no chance that you would ever just accidentally cross paths with him. 
For a second, you felt of pang of sadness. You’ve known Quinn since you were six and it won’t be like last year when you left for school and you would FaceTime or Skype your friends and family and Quinn would be in the background. Quinn was such a fixture in your life and now he was going to be gone too. Quinn loved Michigan, so you would probably see him in the Summers but what if after you graduate you get a job somewhere else? Somewhere where you know no one. 
You're jolted out of your spiraling emotions when Jack and your brother plop down on the log next to you, fighting over a bag of unopened marshmallows. You could thank the heavens for their timing because it feels like you’ve been having more and more thoughts about Quinn, your future, and Quinn being a part of your future.
The bag that Jack and your brother were fighting over tears in half, just like anyone could have predicted. The marshmallows go flying everywhere. Some land in the fire and melt quickly but mostly they land amongst the forest floor.
What you weren’t expecting was Jack jumping up from the log and hopping around screaming in a pitch that could rival a little girl’s. 
“Oh shit! Oh shit! OH SHI-!”
No one can hold back their laughter as they watch him frantically move about. Your brother nearly falls off of his log in a fit of laughter and you think you hear Quinn snort. 
“Jack Rowden Hughes!” Ellen scolds but when you look at her you can see the laughter she was trying her hardest to suppress. 
“Sorry, mom,” Jack mumbles but still doesn’t stop hopping around looking for the marshmallows.
“What the hell are you even doing?” Quinn asks, and unlike his mother, he’s not trying to hide his amusement. 
When he laughs you feel your chest get tight. You look briefly at him when he speaks and see that he’s already looking at you. He’s not smirking or glaring. No, he’s just smiling at you. There doesn’t seem to be any hidden meaning or mocking in his eyes. He’s happy and you’re the one he’s showing it to unabashedly. 
“Don’t you read?” Jack snaps, his hands overflowing with the marshmallows he’s grabbed from the floor, your mom kindly hands him a bag of garbage for him to throw away the dirt-covered sticky treat.  “Bears love Marshmallows!”
“Wasn’t that a SpongeBob episode?” You inquire with a laugh, shortly followed by Luke and Quinn. 
“Dear, we’ve been camping here for thirteen years.” Your mom tries to soothe Jack but everyone, including her, knows it’s futile. “No one has ever seen a bear around here.”
“That doesn’t mean they aren’t lurking around waiting to pounce,” Jack argues but he slowly calms down. Well, as calm as Jack can manage. 
“What does “waiting to pounce” even mean? Do you think Winnie The Pooh is hiding behind that tree over there?”
“Shut up, Quinn,” Jack grumbles and is shoved down to sit back on the log by his dad.
After everyone is calmed or close enough to calm your dad pulls out another bag of marshmallows and chocolate from a bag while Ellen grabs graham crackers. Jim finds the sticks for you all to toast the s’mores with all while your mom sits back in her chair, drinking out of a thermal cup, and by her lazy smile and pink cheeks, you’re starting to think that perhaps it’s not coffee or hot chocolate. 
Everyone quickly falls into the easy chatter that only forms after years of knowing one another. You hold your s’more over the fire as you sit quietly, listening to all the conversations happening around you. 
You're pretty sure that whatever is in your mom’s mug she shared with Ellen because the two of them are quietly giggling after every other word. Jim and your dad are talking to Jack about his future and what the draft might be like when it comes around soon. You feel bad for the kid. You’ve heard almost every adult close to Jack give him the same speech. It’s not like he won’t have a future. You’ve seen him play hockey, both for fun and for competition, and know that he’s better than good. Every team is looking at him right now and with his charisma and the way he moves on the ice, he’s guaranteed to become a star almost immediately after being drafted. 
Luke and your brother have given up on eating the s’mores altogether and are taking turns throwing marshmallows back and forth to see who can catch the most with only their mouths. After a minute of watching, you can safely say they’re both terrible and that ‘the bear’ coming out to eat the marshmallows is more likely than one of them catching one of them in their mouths.
You stayed quiet, not feeling like participating in any of the conversations. It wouldn’t raise any suspicions, since this annual trip began you were always worn out by the end of the day. Not talking to anyone, eating whatever your dad decides to barbecue, and falling asleep on your mom’s lap. So no one questioned you as you tried to not set your campfire snack on fire and thought about how everything was about to change after you all left the camping grounds and how you weren’t ready for it. 
You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you hadn’t even noticed that Quinn was quiet himself. Not staring down his burnt marshmallow like you put sneaking curious glances your way and silently hoping you would catch him. 
With a loud slap on his knee and a groan that only fathers seemed to know how to make your dad stood from his lawn chair. 
“It’s been a long day, I think I’ll try to get some sleep so I can wake up early to catch some fish.”
Jim nodded enthusiastically at the prospect of fishing in the morning and stood up as well. Both of the men helped their wives up from their seats, you smiled as they made it difficult for their husbands to walk them to their tents. The swaying a giggling never died down, even when they were inside and the tent was zipped. 
You were never one for fishing and why people liked to do it so early in the day perplexed you. You had attempted fishing twice in your life, once with your dad and brother which resulted in you being pushed into the lake by your brother and the other time was on a camping trip where Jim was convinced he could change your mind about fishing. It didn’t work. So now your plans for tomorrow are to lay down a beach blanket near the water and read one of the books you brought with you. 
The next ones to stray towards their tents for the night were Luke and your brother. You knew they were going to be next. They enjoyed fishing and spending time with their respective dads. 
“Maybe I’ll even catch dinner for us tomorrow!” your brother exclaimed. 
You wanted to gag at the idea but you saw the excited look on his face and decided against it. Instead, you gave him a thumbs up and mustered up a, “I’ll wish you luck!”
Jack didn’t say goodnight to anyone but you all saw him run behind one of the trees to vomit all of the sugar he consumed. By now he was most likely in his tent groaning or trying to get a signal on his phone. Probably both. 
It didn’t take long for Quinn to stand and bid you goodnight after the other boys left. Your eyes followed him as he walked with his head down to his tent. He had no real reason for leaving. You had watched him sporadically throughout the night and he didn’t seem tired. Perhaps he just didn’t want to stay out here alone with you. You murmur a quiet goodnight back, not sure if he heard it or not but not wanting to say it again. 
You weren’t ready for sleep yet. Your mind was still racing and when your thoughts came back to coming home for the holidays and everyone not being there a knot formed in your throat. You had made friends in Oregon and this upcoming year you would likely start networking, which meant meeting new people, and even though you haven’t met them yet, you knew they weren’t going to be better than the people sleeping in the tents less than ten feet away from you. 
If it hadn’t been for the chilly early September breeze you probably wouldn’t have noticed the tears on your cheeks. You wiped them away quickly. Everyone had already gone to sleep so you could cry as much as you wanted to and no one would know. No one but you, and you didn’t want to deal with all of those emotions right now. You were only feeling like this because it had been a long day and what you needed was a good night's rest. 
You watched the fire die down and when it was only embers left you sprinkled some sand on it to make sure it wouldn’t set the forest ablaze as you all slept. When you were done with that you crawled into your tent and tried to get comfortable in your sleeping bag. 
It was futile. The extra blanket didn’t warm you up and the sleeping bag was old and had small holes in it that you didn’t notice when you had packed it. Not even pulling Oliver close to your chest made you feel better. 
The tent was cold and hard and despite the rustling leaves and wind outside, it felt silent. You weren’t built to be alone and with your recurring thoughts of everyone leaving and not coming back once school starts up again, you couldn’t find it in yourself to stay in your tent tonight. 
You grabbed your extra blanket and Oliver and paused when you were outside. Who could you share a tent with without them making a big deal of it? Your brother and Jack were immediately scratched off that list. They had the biggest mouths known to man. You could seek out the comfort of your parents, similar to when you were little and afraid and you would crawl into their much bigger bed and cuddle between the two of them. They would worry if you did that now and you didn’t want to worry them on the first night of the trip they had come to love.
There was nothing wrong with going to Luke but your body itched to turn the other way and go to Quinn’s tent. He wouldn’t tell anyone and even if he wasn’t sharing the same thoughts out loud, perhaps he was thinking them silently, after all, he was in the same predicament.
Before you could stop yourself you tapped gently on the tent and whispered his name. 
Nothing happened, so you continued just a little louder and perhaps with a slight whine. “Quinn! Quinn, open your tent. Quinn, are you asleep?”
Finally, the zipper was tugged down and a disheveled Quinn appeared. Despite his look of annoyance, you could tell that he wasn’t really upset with you. If he was he would have told you to go away by now or never opened the tent.
“What’s wrong?” His words slurred from sleep but his tone was serious. 
With a weak smile, you replied, “I think there’s a bear outside my tent that thinks I’m a marshmallow. Can I sleep with you?”
To your surprise, Quinn shuffled to the side of his sleeping bag to make room for you. When you continued to look at him dumbstruck he sighed and waved at the tent flap and said, “Can you come in here already? Also make sure you zip that up. I’m pretty sure that any bear with a sweet tooth will be dissuaded by a zipper.” 
You did as he asked and once you did you climbed into the sleeping bag with him. He grunted when you accidentally elbowed him in the stomach and when you kept trying to readjust in the small sleeping area that was only really meant for one Quinn grabbed your waist and rolled you so that your back was against his front. You felt breathless being so close to Quinn, no that wasn’t it, being held so close to him. The two of you grew up together so it didn’t feel strange to sleep in the same area. Sometimes you had to share a bed because your brother and Jack wanted to share one instead. One time when you were sharing an air mattress, it popped and you both had to sleep on the floor after that. You still held firm that the popping was Quinn’s fault. 
This was different, though. Out of all the times you had to sleep near Quinn, he never seemed like a cuddler and yet, here you were with his arm slung tightly around you, with his forehead pressed against your neck. Slowly and without saying anything you grabbed his hand that was on your waist, holding you to him, and intertwined your fingers. It felt grounding. How could you spiral when he was so solidly here? 
“So are you sticking with the bear story or are you actually going to tell me why you're in my tent?” Quinn said into the quiet darkness. 
You didn’t want to answer his question. You wanted to lay here and be held and take up all of his warmth and fall asleep. You also knew that if you didn’t vocalize your fears they would only get bigger and bigger until one day you would simply combust and find yourself living in a cardboard box outside of your childhood home.
You squeezed Oliver with the hand that wasn’t holding Quinn’s and whispered shyly, “I’m afraid of what happens after this. I’m afraid that once I go back to school everything will change and I’ll come home and nothing will be how it was.”
You let out a breath of relief. Even though you couldn’t help but still fret over everything it still felt nice to get all of that off of your chest. 
Quinn had remained quiet the whole time and for a moment you thought he was falling asleep until he squeezed your hand and moved his arm under your head to grab Oliver. Quinn wasn’t taking him from you but he held him gently. Almost stroking the worn fuzz on the stuffed orca.
“Things are gonna change,” he finally said. “All of our parents will still be in Michigan and so will your brother and when he goes to college I’m sure he’ll call to annoy you every day.”
You smiled sadly, it was true. Your little brother was like you. He aches for space but needs to know that the people he loves will still be there. 
“Doesn’t it scare you?” It’s a whisper, you can barely hear yourself over the pounding of your heart and the blood rushing in your ears. 
You didn’t know why you felt scared right now, this was Quinn, the same boy you’ve known nearly all your life. On the other side, though, this is Quinn, the same guy that annoys you more often than not. Who on most days you think he might hate you and you might hate him. Your thumb rubs circles on the hand that’s holding yours. What was it that your mom always said? There’s a thin line between love and hate.
It takes a minute and then two before you think he might not answer. Had his lips not been so close to your neck you wouldn’t have heard him. His words would have been lost with the wind outside. 
“Of course I’m scared.” He finally says and before you can cut in he continues. “I’m scared that I won’t be as good as people are hoping I will be when I finally get to play. I’m afraid to be so far away from my family.” He paused again but kept quiet, there was a tension in the air and you knew he wanted to say more. “I know my family will always be there, though. I also know that my friends will be too. I just don’t know about you.”
You went to turn around so that you could see his face and hear his words when he says them. His arms around your waist stop you, though.
“Whether or not I like it, you know everything about me.” You reply, the next part you look at your stuffed Orca so it feels like you're talking to it rather than him. “I think you might be the only person who knows everything about me. You’re always paying attention.”
“Of course, I’ve been paying attention.” 
You don’t hesitate and you don’t let yourself think before saying what you want to.
“Why?”
Quinn sighs your name and it sounds like a prayer. It sounds like he’s begging you to just know. Quinn is a man of few words and you want him to say it. 
“When I was six a stubborn girl with a stuffed Orca moved in next door to me. You watched me, you saw me, first before you finally looked at my family. For as long as I can remember I’ve been an afterthought to everybody.” Quinn says and his words make you hurt. “I did things to annoy you just so you would notice me because I wanted /your/ attention.”
“That’s very playground of you.” You say lightly, trying to ease the suffocating air in the tent. 
Quinn laughs lightly and it tickles your neck. “Then, and here’s the kicker, I get drafted to the Vancouver Canucks, and team far away from everything I know and then I remember that this girl that I’ve been annoying on purpose for years has what can only be described as an emotional support Orca. People have stuffed bears, ducks, or literally anything else. I’ve never seen someone with an Orca and for the first time everything I had and everything I’ve ever wanted became so clear.”
“And what is it that you want?” 
He lets go of your hand and sits up on his elbows just so he can look at you when says, “You. Since you got out of that car gripping that stuffed animal in one hand and your dad’s hand in the other all while giving the meanest glare I think I’ve ever seen from a kindergartner.”
“I thought you hated me.”  
“I thought you hated me.”
A small smile tugs at the side of your lip, “I thought I did too. If I’m being honest, though, I don’t think I could ever actually hate you.”
The kiss is a surprise. It’s not on your lips or your neck, Quinn simply leans down and places his lips to your forehead. After that, he lays back down behind you and wraps his arm around your torso. You waste no time grabbing his hand and sinking into his embrace. 
He’s solid and warm and for the first time in months, your mind doesn’t feel like it’s running a mile a minute. 
“Do you believe in fate?” 
The question catches you off guard. Fate? Quinn was so practical it seemed like a weird thing for him to ask. Did you believe in it though? If you were asked ten years ago, you would have said yes. If you were asked four years ago you would have said no, but lying in Quinn’s tent and in his arms, you can’t but wonder if maybe you do?
“I don’t know.” You say honestly. “Do you?” 
Quinn is quick to answer, “Oh yeah, how else can I explain that the girl I fell for at six would have a favorite stuffed animal that is an Orca, while I’m about to play for Vancouver whose mascot is an orca?” 
You smile at that. It did seem rather fate-like if you thought about it like that. 
“Well, when you put it like that,” you laugh, as does Quinn. “When you’re off being a hotshot hockey player in Canada you have to promise me something.”
“Hmm, depends on what it is that I have to promise.”
You bit your lip and let your eyes slide down to Oliver. You hoped that Quinn would hear the true meaning of your words when you said them because you doubted you could say them out loud yet. “Just remember that Oliver is your favorite Orca when you’re out there.”
You waited with bated breath. Quinn’s breathing had slowed and for a moment you wondered if he had fallen asleep. 
That was until he pulled you closer to himnand said directly in your ear, “Oliver will always be my favorite no matter where I go.”
278 notes · View notes
natti-ice · 2 days
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Can I PLEASE have some Colin bridgerton smut? My man deserves it he's so overlooked by Anthony and Benedict that no one barely writes for him and it makes me sadd :(
Imagine you and Colin are on travel(or a honeymoon even) and he just ruins you on a balcony ofc you scold him for it but it's not like he would listen to you
Pairing: Colin Bridegerton x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+mdni, groping, teasing, clit play, semi public sex, p in v, creampie. (1.3k words)
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated<3
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You're standing outside on the small terrace right outside your bedroom of the chateau you've been staying at for the past few days, the warm summer air blows gently across your skin as you watch the sun set in the distance. Your week has been quite hectic with all the traveling you and your now husband Colin have been doing, he always promised you that once you were wed he would show you the world and he's done very well at keeping his word. The day after your wedding the two of you set off into adventure, stopping off in many cities in England before working your way through Europe.
You were amazed at just how grand everything was outside of your city, you had grown so accustomed to the high social life you were brought up in, it never crossed your mind that others did not live the way you did, and when you found out, it was life changing. In such a short amount of time you had learned so much from the people you and Colin came across, he's quite the tour guide, he shows you to all of the best places for food and always seems to find the most unique forms of entertainment. You were so grateful to have such a special husband, most of the other suitors were bland and didn't care for culture but Colin was different, he had a thirst for exploration and he wanted you to come along.
Though he loved to travel around and see the sights, he also loved to spend time with you. More importantly, time alone... that man hasn't been able to keep his hands to himself since you both said "I do", his hands mindlessly wander around your body at any given moment, the feeling of his rough callused hands sent a rush through your body and he knew exactly what you were feeling. It was almost if he got off on making you shiver, seeing you try to pretend you don't feel anything when his fingers graze the back of your neck while talking to some local about the price of fish in his small town really gets him going.
You were lost in thought and didn't hear the footsteps creeping up behind you until suddenly long, toned, muscular arms wrapped around your frame causing you to jump. You hear his soft chuckle and immediately realize it was your husband, "my apologies dear, I didn't mean to startle you" your heart was already racing because of his sneak up but it pounded a little harder when his hands started to caress your sides so lovingly.
You let out a soft chuckle and lean against his chest "it's alright my love, my mind was in another word" you say, then you feel his hands starting to make their way up to your chest, his large calloused hands cup your breasts through the thin fabric of the nightie that clung to your body. A gasp gets caught in your throat as you feel yourself becoming more aroused, "Colin, we mustn't do this out here, the staff will see."
Colin's warm breath fanned on the nape of your neck leaving goosebumps in its wake as he whispers "we'll give them a good show, lord knows this place lacks entertainment." Despite your protests he continues to indulge in your body, you look over the balcony to see maids hanging up laundry to dry in the distance, surely if the looked up they could see you but in this moment you stopped caring. Your love and lust for Colin was much too strong to fight.
He moved one hand slowly down your front and lifted the hem of your dress to expose your undergarments that were now damp with your arousal, Colin runs his middle and ring fingers teasingly over your clothed slit sending a shiver down your spine. "Mmm, you're already so wet for me. Just how I like you." His dirty words make you feel like the only woman in the world, the pleasure he gives you is unlike anything you have ever experienced and you know you'll never find anything that will compare. His fingers found their way into your panties and he begun teasing your swollen clit with the pads of his fingers, you fought back moans, you didn't want him to know the effects he had on you but he was already well versed in your pleasure.
The hand that was still on your breast made its way you your neck, he held it gently but firm enough that you knew you weren't going anywhere.
"Tell me what you want, dear. Tell me what you crave." He whispers huskily into your ear, his desire for you strong in each of his words. His fingers slowly circled around your entrance, giving you a teasing taste of what's to come if you just ask.
"You," you let out breathlessly, "I want you." He hums as he is delighted by your response and pulls his hand from your clit making you whimper softly with need, he takes his hand off of your throat to quickly pull down his sleeping pants. You feel his hardened cock against your ass as he pulls up the fabric of your nightgown, his fingers hook into the waistband of your underwear and pull them down to your ankles. He spreads your legs with his knee and pushes your back forward slowly, your chest presses against the cool metal of the railing in front of you. He takes your hands and makes you grip the rail as he teasingly says "you might want to hold on, dear."
He lines himself up behind you and slowly runs his tip between your folds before pushing his length into your dripping pussy, your body shakes slightly as your senses are taken over by pleasure. He starts slow, rocking his hips against yours as he holds onto your waist firmly to keep you in place, his cock stretches you out deliciously making you moan softly. Your sounds encourage him to go harder, it's taking everything in him to not completely ruin you right now, he wants to prolong the experience to make sure you feel everything. Once he sets a good pace, that's when he starts to have fun with you. He snakes one hand under your bunched up dress and palms your bare tit, he groans into your ear as he pinches your hard nipple, "you feel so fucking good, fit so perfectly around my cock." You can't fight it anymore, you let your moans fly freely for the world to hear, you'll probably regret it later but you don't care right now.
You were certain everyone in the whole estate knew exactly what was taking place, your loud moans bounced off the walls as you came all over his cock, Colin was in complete ecstasy and couldn't care less about any onlookers. Let them watch. Let them see who owns you.
A few more pumps into your tight channel was all it took to send Colin over the edge, he groaned loudly as his hips bucked against you whilst his seed flooded your womb. He panted heavily as he slowly pulled out of you, both of your fluids covered his length in a beautifully raunchy mess. You slowly stood up straight and turned around to face him, the smile on his face matched yours as you both began to giggle softly. You feel so relaxed but you were still a bit embarrassed about allowing him to take you so publicly. "Colin Bridgerton, you are a very scandalous man" you say teasingly and lightly hit his left peck, he laughs heartily at your comment and takes your hand,  bringing it to his mouth and placing a soft, loving kiss to it. "My apologies, dear. You are too irresistible, I cannot contain my desire for you." He says with a smile and helps you straighten out your clothing before leading you back into your bedroom where he will most likely repeat the events that just transpired.
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disasterbuck · 2 days
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Oohhh for the prompts I'd love to see Buddie with the sidewalk rule 👀🥰
I'm so glad you chose the sidewalk rule because I had an idea for that one right after I reblogged the prompt post 😂
I hope you like it!! 💕
the sidewalk rule
established Buddie | 645 words
Buck was chatting away, his hands waving this way and that, and Eddie had a smile on his face as he walked beside him. They'd decided to walk down to the coffee shop on the corner of Buck's street together, to treat themselves after their long shift before Eddie had to leave to pick Chris up from school.
As he talked, Buck walked backwards in front of Eddie for a few steps before ending up on his other side.
"—and then it was introduced to England in like, the late 1700s," Buck was saying. How he'd gotten started on the history of dominoes, Eddie didn't know, but he definitely wasn't complaining. He could happily listen to Buck talk for hours about anything. "And it was all over the world by 1889! And although it originated in China, it's now way more popular in France and Belgium."
"And the Buckley-Diaz household," Eddie chimed in with a wink, referring to the set of dominoes Buck and Chris had been playing with for the past three weeks and making Buck blush.
While he was briefly distracted, Eddie gently took hold of Buck's wrist and guided him to the other side so that he was back on Eddie's left and Eddie was walking beside the road.
Buck frowned, then just continued talking about dominoes. But a few steps later, he cut across Eddie's path with a little spin so that he was back on Eddie's right.
With a scowl, Eddie stepped behind him and to the side, forcing Buck left. A giggle left Buck's lips and he ducked in to kiss Eddie quickly, distracting him, before taking the spot on the right again.
"Would you stop?" Eddie exclaimed, coming to a halt.
"Stop what?" Buck asked innocently, a bright grin on his face.
"You know what," Eddie said with a sigh. "Stop swapping sides!"
"Why?" Buck asked, a cheeky twinkle in his eyes.
"Because…" Eddie trailed off, feeling his face grow warm with embarrassment. A particularly fast car sped past and he automatically reached out to grab Buck's arm, pulling him further away from the road.
"I didn't know you knew the sidewalk rule," Buck teased.
"The what?" Eddie asked, baffled.
"The sidewalk rule," Buck repeated, as if saying it again would bring any further insight. Thankfully, seeing Eddie's face, he went on – "It's the idea that your boyfriend should walk on the side closest to the road to keep you safe from any hazards."
"I have never heard of that in my life," Eddie said, mouth twisting slightly in disgust. "It sounds misogynistic. And besides, we're both the boyfriend in this relationship."
"Sure," Buck said easily, giving a one-shoulder shrug. "But then, why exactly don't you want me walking on this side?"
Eddie slid his hand down to Buck's, twisting their fingers together. He didn't want to tell Buck the truth; he didn't want Buck's bright and happy mood to be brought down. But…
"Because of Shannon," he said softly. "Because she… I know it doesn't make sense. We're in way more dangerous situations every day. And she wasn't on a sidewalk but on a crossing, so it was different—"
"Hey." Buck stepped right up into his space, cupping his face with his hands. "It's okay. It makes sense to me. If you want me to walk on the other side, I will."
"I do," Eddie admitted.
"Then I will," Buck said. Closing the distance between them, Buck kissed him softly and earnestly.
When they parted, Eddie was surprised to find that Buck had somehow turned them during the kiss without him noticing. He was once again standing between Buck and the road.
"Come on," Buck said, taking Eddie's hand in his and pulling him along the path.
Content, Eddie gently squeezed Buck's hand and listened as he went back to discussing the history of dominoes.
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deathbxnny · 1 day
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Herta, Dr.Ratio, & Ruan Mei with a teen!reader who is a member of the Genius Society! They’re smart and they know they are and like they just shit on Dr.Ratio bc he’s not a member so that means their probably smarter then him they just rub it in his face.
But with like Ruan Mei and Herta they’re an angel (I’m playing fav’s) like always helping with Mei’s projects and running errands for Herta! (Platonic oc!)
\(^ヮ^)/
(I have sent a lot sorry! I have to many ideas but can’t write…(╥_╥))
Hello Anon!! I don't mind your many asks, especially because I love them all, hehe!! Thank you for this cute request, too, and I hope you'll like this!!<33
Content: Reader just being a bit of a snobby smart-ass, Ratio being over it, fluff, unserious, sfw
Reader has no set pronouns!!
((Not proofread))
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》DR. VERITAS RATIO
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Ratio absolutely regrets ever taking you in daily. You were a student of his that was one day just suddenly promoted to being a member of the genius society, after a groundbreaking scientific discovery you made. He was truly proud of you at first, especially as he was your teacher and caretaker ever since you were a small child.
But he'd certainly be lying if he said that he didn't think about putting you up for adoption at least ONCE, whenever you were teasing him relentlessly for essentially being smarter than him. He usually ignored your bullying attempts, knowing that you still needed his mentorship and care anyways, but he couldn't help but still deadpan when you'd giggle and wave your rank right in his face.
He definitely also banned you from his office after you kept on boasting about your grand achievement. You, however, only seemed to stop once he threatened your weekly allowance. Just as expected.
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》HERTA
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Herta was less impressed by the whole ordeal, mainly because she obviously expected you to be a member. This, however, doesn't mean that she doesn't appreciate your discoveries as they still helped her out with things on the ship. Since she still is your senior, she also expects to be still respected by you as one, which you ofcourse oblige to gladly. Just because you were announced to be a genius, didn't mean that you weren't still a kid in your mentors care.
With that said, the only visible change she gave you after your little promotion was more high-profile errands, which required alot more effort than usual. She figured it was enough to showcase her "congratulations", whilst also making clear that you were still a child.
She wants you to see this accomplishment more as a beginning to your long and very much successful career so that you don't begin to slack off thinking that this was it. Quite the contrary, as she knew you could do even better than that. Trying to be a smartass with her wouldn't work anyways, as her puppets suddenly turn deaf whenever you try and "outsmart" her in anything.
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》RUAN MEI
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Her only awknowledgement to your achievement was a simple pat on your head and a gentle hum of praise before she handed you more worksheets to fill out on her most recent creations. It wasn't that she didn't care, but with her mind drifting through endless different projects she had to complete, you knew that her earlier actions spoke on her pride for you more than any words ever could.
She also showcases her appreciation for your new rank by letting you in on rather personal and more challenging little projects of hers. She confides in you more, not afraid anymore to overwhelm you with complicated calculations or complex questions.
This, however, means that you are often now also contemplating things like she does, mainly as she was the one to mentor you through all of those years to begin with. She wants you to learn more, see more, and think outside of the capability of the genius society in order to further your own future projects more easily. She also knew that you need to be pushed even harder now in your younger years before your rank made you lazy. She's thankfully alot more softer and slower with her methods than Herta is.
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Alrighttt... thank you again for the cute request and I hope this was okay for you!!<33
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saphronethaleph · 2 days
Text
Literary Illusions
“It’s ironic,” Palpatine said, shaking his head. “He could save others from death, but not himself.”
Anakin frowned.
“And this is something the Jedi wouldn’t have told me?” he asked.
“Of course not,” Palpatine replied. “Is it a story you’ve heard?”
“Well, yes,” Anakin said. “Just now, from you. But not before then… and that surprises me, Chancellor.”
Palpatine shrugged. “I think you’ll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.”
“Maybe not, but… honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing they’d tell me,” Anakin said.
Palpatine frowned.
“...what?” he asked.
“You know,” Anakin said. “Some Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesn’t bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, they’d have been immortal.”
He shrugged. “It’s a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and it’s the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because they’re not directly related to gaining power… hold on a second.”
Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.
“...Anakin?” he said. “Are you getting your comlink out?”
“Yeah,” Anakin replied. “Going to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe there’s some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.”
The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. “He probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.”
Palpatine blinked several times.
“...don’t,” he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. “It’s the middle of a performance. We don’t want to interrupt them.”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s on silent,” Anakin replied, with a shrug. “Or vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate… hang on, Chancellor, I’ll make sure it’s on silent…”
He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.
“Oh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,” Anakin said. “Hang on… uh… yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. I’ve been missing a lot of sleep lately.”
“Perhaps-” Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.
“Huh,” he said. “He says he’s never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like he’s really interested… or maybe he’s trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, he’s terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks he’s good at them.”
Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.
“Is there a book I can get the whole story from?” he asked, instead. “Obi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.”
“That is not the point,” Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. “The point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!”
“Maybe there used to be, but not any more,” Anakin shrugged. “Like you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and I’m not sure Dooku knew it either… hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?”
Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.
“What?” he asked.
“You know, a play,” Anakin explained. “Dramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. It’d be better than this, anyway.”
He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.
“...what is wrong with Squid Lake?” Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.
“Well, uh,” Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. “Actually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.”
“It’s a ballet,” Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.
“It’s just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,” Anakin went on. “Someone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldn’t swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.”
Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatine’s look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.
“Watto was a lot of things,” he said. “But he had culture.”
Palpatine’s hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.
It was extraordinarily tempting.
“...hold on,” Anakin said, slowly. “I guess… the thing I’d like most at the moment is for… and that means… this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.”
He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. “Thanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet won’t mind.”
Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldn’t think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.
“Love?” Anakin said, into his commlink. “I… think we need to come clean, because otherwise I’ll fall to the Dark Side.”
Palpatine’s eye twitched.
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vax-merstappen · 2 days
Text
undefeated pt. 1 (mv1)
more victories than defeats
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summary: it’s the hungarian grand prix and max has won every race this season. when you get pole, can you finally defeat the undefeated?
series masterlist
You walk through the paddock, cameras flashing, people shouting your name. You pull your red cap lower over your eyes, trying to get through the crowd and into the safety of the Ferrari hospitality.
As Ferrari’s clear number one driver, it was no surprise that people wanted to get your picture or signature. Even just a quick sound bite would get a reporter views. And normally you’d try to stop for as many of your fans as possible, knowing that taking a few seconds out of your day would mean the world to them. But today was different. Today you were on a mission.
The Hungarian Grand Prix normally wasn’t a huge highlight on the calendar for you or the team, but today it felt different. With the new upgrades on the car and a stellar qualifying that got you onto pole position, you had a chance.
That chance was to beat Max Verstappen, the current reigning world champion. Last season he had dominated, winning all but three races, his teammate Checo Pérez taking the ones he failed to win. And this season, he had claimed all of the victories of the first twelve races. He was on track to win every race this season, setting a Formula 1 record and doing something nobody else had ever been able to do.
But not if you had any say in the situation. As his main rival on track you would do anything to stop his reign. The bad blood between you and Max ran deep, having started racing in Formula 1 the same year as him. With both of you going into your 10th season in the sport, it was clear to most people that he was the better driver and you hated that.
Maybe today would be different.
You walked into the Ferrari garage, quickly making your way over to your race engineer, Renée, and pulled her aside.
“So what’s the game plan for today? Besides keeping Max behind me and defending like crazy.”
She smiled at you. “We’re running a one stop strategy. You’re going to have to push like crazy at the start and try to get a lead. You know how aggressive he is…”
I scoff. “Aggressive is an understatement. He’s a damn maniac.”
Renée chuckled. “Yeah. Well you’ve got pole so you’ll have a slight advantage over him in second. And you’ve got your teammate Charles behind you in third, so you should have the support there. He’s been made aware that his job is to keep the rest of the grid off of you and Max. Even our odds against him.”
You nod. “Glad to know. We’ve got to win this one today. He can’t win them all.”
“He won’t. We’ve got pole, a good strategy, car upgrades, and your determination to win this one. Today will be our day.”
“Let’s hope it is,” you say, giving one last acknowledgment to Renée before walking to your driver’s room to start your pre-race ritual.
You put on your headphones and started playing your favorite hype song, practicing a few stretches that you always did before a race. As you continued to follow your routine, slowly all the noise faded away and you were left with one feeling. Determination that Max would not win.
---
As you walked out to stand for the Hungarian national anthem, you found yourself lined up directly next to the world champion himself. The tension nearly crackled in the air between you as you made eye contact with Max, his gaze more like a glare. You didn’t dare speak to him as the performer was singing and the grid kids stood before you, but you could already tell he was focused. Though he seemed nonchalant, you knew it secretly bothered him that you were on pole.
As soon as the performance ended and the drivers began to disperse, you whispered under your breath as you walked by him. “Enjoy watching my rear wing.”
You walked away before you could see if he responded.
Standing by your car, you prepared yourself to race. You needed to start strong and capitalize on your pole position. You risked a glance back at the Red Bull behind you, watching Max put on his helmet and ready himself to get in the car. You could have sworn he was looking back at you, almost as a predator looks at prey.
You climb into your car, pulling your own helmet over your head, readying for the formation lap. You give a thumbs up to the crew, watching them step away from the car and take the covers off the tires.
As you pull away from the start line, you move side to side across the track, trying to warm your tires to get better grip for the start. You knew Max would be on you instantly, trying to pass you as you went into the first corner. You went through the corners of the track on the formation lap, readying yourself for the race.
As you pulled into pole position, you watched the red lights begin to light up
1
2
3
4
5
Lights out and away we go.
You sped up as fast down the main straight, trying to get your car first on the inside line. You could see Max beside you, trying desperately for the same thing. As you went wheel to wheel, you nudged your car ahead of his, managing to secure the racing line for the time being.
But in your mirrors was Max Verstappen in a Red Bull, arguably one of the scariest sights in Formula 1. And as you made your way around the first few laps, you just couldn't find a way to shake him. He kept behind you, only just outside of getting DRS to pass you.
You kept speeding through the corners of the Hungaroring, sensing it was only a matter of time before he passed you. The pressure was on, the Red Bull and Ferrari rivalry at its greatest.
One pit stop each and a safety car later, you found yourself driving slowly behind the car. And in your mirrors, you could now clearly see the man himself, right on your rear wing. Any lead you had built was gone, taken away with the safety car. The lion was in striking distance and you knew it.
As the safety car moved to resume the race, you pressed the pedal full on, needing to shake the dutchman behind you. With only 10 laps left of 70, you needed to hold on.
But as good of a driver you were, Max was better. The best driver on the grid, undefeated in the first 12 races of the season. And he wouldn't let a Ferrari beat him.
You entered the main straight and you knew Max was close enough for DRS. You watched he caught up to you, going wheel to wheel as you sped through the track.
It would have been easier to accept if there'd been a fight, some sort of defense available, a challenging overtake for Max.
But he just breezed past you, as if you weren't even there. Not a threat. Not a problem. Not anything he'd ever worried about.
Even after a strenuous and hard fought race to gain a lead, Max Verstappen once again would win. His thirteenth consecutive race. Another damn record.
You finished the last nine laps of the race, still pushing but not nearly as hard. You felt defeated. Nothing you or the car was capable of would be enough. Not against him, a living legend of a driver.
As you crossed the finish line in second, you congratulated the team on their efforts on the radio, but your heart wasn't in it. Most drivers would be happy with a podium, if not elated. But not you. Not when you would be forced to spray him oncemore with champagne. Not when he would take home another trophy, which would just be another hunk of metal to him.
You climbed out of the car besides him, noticing Oscar Piastri pulling into the 3rd place spot. You could at least be a little happy for the Australian, having earned another podium in just his second season. You walked up to Oscar and congratulated him, making a point to do so before turning to Max.
"Congrats on the win," you said, your voice monotone.
"Thanks," Max replied simply. "You had a good drive there at the start."
"Not good enough," you retorted, trying and failing to hide your disdain at both him and your own failure.
"Still a podium though," Max shrugged.
"You know damn well you'd be pissed in P2."
Max looked you in the eye. "I think you should be grateful I let you lead the race for so long. My car is clearly faster than yours."
You rolled your eyes. "I don't want to do this here. Not with all the cameras."
Max had the audacity to smirk. "Suit yourself. But I did earn the win, don't deny me that."
You hated it when he was right.
You stalked away from Max on track and headed over to your team, clapping a few of the engineers and team members on the back for their performance. Sure, you were mad. But they still got you a podium position. And you wanted to delay the cooldown room as long as you could.
But you couldn't delay it that long, and god did some water sound refreshing. So you went into that room, looking at Max seated in the center chair, Oscar on his right in the 3rd place chair. You grabbed a water bottle and slumped down in the remaining seat next to Max, not saying a word.
"Could have taken that corner better," Max said, commenting on a clip of your car briefly sliding out of track limits. "Maybe that's why you lost some time to me right before the safety car."
"Thanks for the observation," you said sarcastically.
The tension in the room was palpable. You almost felt bad for Oscar Piastri, having to deal with the two of you.
"If there hadn't been that safety car, I would have had a tougher race. But I still think I could have caught you... your tires seemed to be degrading faster than mine. At least that's what the team said. Also with a few of those small mistakes like going wide on the turns..."
He kept going on, in his typical way, what the internet had dubbed Maxplaining. They were right. It was like he didn't understand that you knew your mistakes and how he had driven faster.
But anyways, you were spared as the three of you were called for the podium. Oscar went out first, followed by you.
You heard the cheers of your team and fans and you tried your hardest to be happy and excited about your podium. But when the cheers for you were eclipsed by those for Max, you couldn't pretend anymore.
You stood only begrudgingly beside him on the podium as the Dutch national anthem played for the 13th time in a row. And when he popped the champagne, even he didn't seem excited, like winning had become habitual for him and that this was an obligation, not a reward.
This was a man with more victories than defeats in the past few seasons.
A man who's wins were routine.
A man you loathed with your whole being.
You chose to spray your champagne over your own head rather than his. An act of protest and anger.
And when you left the podium, you left with stronger feelings. The taste for victory lingered on your tongue. And the desire for revenge burned stronger in your heart.
Part 2 coming!
taglist: @jehun
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utilitycaster · 3 days
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Can I get your opinion, since you seem to be a pretty straight shooter ?
Do you think that Orym is lying to himself when he says he doesn’t want the sword for revenge or isn’t motivated by revenge? In the same way that Laudna was lying to herself and the others about why she wanted the sword?
I’ve seen a lot of ~discourse~ over whether or not orym is being truthful here and tbh I don’t know what to make of it.
My short answer: I suppose it's possible revenge might be among the many factors motivating him, but I don't believe it's his primary motivator.
My real answer? Who fucking cares.
There has been a pretty consistent pattern in which a lot of people who defend Laudna (and Imogen, for that matter) are so laser-focused on their motivations that they utterly ignore the actual consequences of their actions. Because that's the thing, right? You can make speculative claims about motivations; there is no true way to prove that Orym has absolutely no vengeful bones in his body since there's a myriad of reasons to go after the Vanguard and its leadership of which revenge absolutely is one. But you can't deny actions without someone inconveniently pointing out the truth that the action was, in fact, performed by a particular character. So it's a popular focus for people who don't actually have any evidence of their points.
Intent and motivation is, obviously, useful in understanding what a character might do. It's useful in understanding whether they could perhaps be swayed one way or another (eg: Liliana's intentions are in fact of vital importance for that reason, because if they understand what drives her, they might be able to change her path). But it's useless in judging harm done to other people. If someone kills a pedestrian in a crosswalk because they fell asleep driving because they'd stayed up all night for a charitable cause, or if they kill them because they were drunk driving, someone's still dead because of their actions. (For that matter, and I said this in an earlier post, the pedestrian is also equally dead if the driver were drunk driving because they are a well-intentioned alcoholic who fell off the wagon vs. an asshole who doesn't think the rules apply to them.) I don't blame the victim's family for hating the driver in any of the scenarios, even though I think that the some of the above drivers are far more likely to be people who will attempt to rehabilitate themselves and for whom I as a person more removed from the situation may have more pity.
Ultimately, how others see a character in-world is going to be a measure of their actions. So, for example, it does not actually matter if Imogen floats allying with the Vanguard because she wants to connect with her deadbeat mom; Orym is still justified in being hurt and offended because she said something insensitive in front of him. It's better that Imogen is doing this out of an idealized desire rather than malice; I think far better of her as a character and believe there is room for growth; but that doesn't change what she did and that it was, in fact, insensitive. It speaks well to her that Laudna's pressure point is "this sword could hurt your friend" and not "hey what if you could have a sick evil sword of your own", but she did still attack her friend in the middle of the night even with good intentions.
If Orym wants to kill Ludinus out of vengeance for the deaths of his family or if he wants to do so because Ludinus has done immeasurable harm already and very well might destroy the world (and I certainly do believe Orym is motivated by the latter, even if the former plays a role), Ludinus still ends up dead. Sure, if he's motivated only by revenge it might change how you interact with him, the way how Bells Hells treat Keyleth quite differently than they do Ira, but in terms of analyzing whether any specific action was helpful or harmful? Utterly fucking irrelevant.
Anyone making the argument that Orym might not have the purest motives either, as a means to defend Laudna, is either too dumb to even find the correct questions to ask or deliberately throwing up a smoke screen, and as this post indicates, doesn't fucking matter if they're stupid or malicious - they're a waste of your time. Don't even bother.
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bethelighthalazia · 2 days
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"Cry for me, little mouse"
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Summary:  Somehow, you ended up in the hands of the one psycho who always slips through the grid. Though, it seems like he doesn't operate on his own.
Genre: angst, horror (?)
Pairing: psychopath!Yeosang x fem!reader
Additional Characters: Wooyoung
Word Count:  1203
Warnings: violence, blood, mentions of burying bodies, mention of murder, torture, mentions of mutilation, implication of reader being drugged, kidnapping
networks: @newworldnet 
notes: just a lil drabble when I couldn't sleep that turned into a oneshot :3 not proofread/beta´d
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other links: n/a
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© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.
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You could see the perfectly chiseled contour of his face, only lit by a soft lightsource as he's pulling back the arrow in his bow. His chest moving calmly, his bicep tense while he focuses on the target. Quiet, pleading whimpers echo through the room, yet the man in front of you doesn't seem bothered at all. With another exhale, he let go of the arrow, the bowstring caressing his cheek as he sent the arrow flying. With a quiet crack, splat and a thump, the arrowhead pierced through the obstacle before sticking in the target itself. Then, silence, only disturbed by the slow sounds of liquid dripping onto the wooden floor. 
Your eyes wide when you stared at the girl whose head got pierced right now, the arrow had hit exactly between the eyes, the blindfold ripped and fallen to the ground. “Ah, silence. Finally." He hummed softly, as if nothing had happened. At the sight in front of you, you just couldn't hold back the frightened sob that escapes your throat, causing the man to tilt his head and look at you. “And here I thought you would have learned, little mouse.” 
His voice sounded bored, almost a little disappointed when his full attention turned towards you, ignoring the other man in the shadows entirely, who had just moved. “You know, Yeosang, how about you keep a girl for more than a day? The one you just - discarded - was actually quite pretty.” The other said, playing with one of the first ones, Yeosang's, arrows. “Why doesn't it surprise me that you prefer the pretty ones who don't shut up, Wooyoung?” Yeosang asked in a rather monotonous voice, his eyes never leaving you though. 
When he took slow steps towards you, you tried to move, to scramble away, but your body just didn't listen to you. There was no rope, no chains holding you, so why couldn't you flee? Then you saw it; a syringe laying on the small table, right besides a long hunting knife and some spare arrows. “Don't try to flee, little mouse. The last girl who tried didn't get far.” Yeosang's voice didn't change at all, still calm and low, a smirk on his face as his cold hand grabbed your chin to turn your head towards the door. The floor was clean, a beautiful oaken wood, but when you let your eyes wander, you gasped. 
A dark stain, you honestly hoped it was just red wine that had been spilled, yet, considering the man who owns his place, it probably was no beverage that had been spilled there. “Yah, don't you dare to do that again, Yeosang. I bet there's still some bits of brain in the grooves of the flooring. You know how hard it was to scrub that wooden floor?” Wooyoung scoffs, stepping out into the light as well now and you were able to see the other one's face. Not less handsome than Yeosang, yet in a different way, he looks very familiar. 
He was the one who had approached you on the street and asked for directions. You knew something was weird, his English was too clean and he had an accent, of course he was no tourist. Your eyes lingered on the second male for too long as it seemed, because Yeosang forced your head towards him again, his grip on your chin tightened. “Wh- what do you-” “Want? Don't worry little mouse, I don't want much. And as long as you do as you're told, you won't end up like that loud one over there.” Yeosang chuckled, his angelic face turned into a slight grimace as he did. He always had been different, always had an excellent taste. His women have always been beautiful, his food and beverages expensive and his weapons deadly. This time however, Wooyoung brought him someone different. Imperfect and a local. 
“You know, usually I would just get rid of you, little mouse. I don't like loud girls, I love when they're quiet, when they don't get on my damn nerves with their annoying voices. But Woo just had to pick you. What am I supposed to do with you? Your hair is disheveled, your eyes are too fearful and you are too short. How could I show you around as my girl, hm?” The whole time he spoke, Yeosang let go of your chin, your head dropping against your chest and tears running down your face. He had grabbed the knife off the table, crouched down in front of you again and you could feel the cold steel against your neck as he used the blade to lift your head up again slightly. Without looking away, Yeosang spoke again, his voice now laced with a hint of excitement. “When a human’s tongue is removed, they can't properly talk anymore,did you know that? But then you still could make annoying noises. How about we dissolve your vocal chords, hm? Wooyoung, do we still have the acid here that we used the last time?” 
“Yeosang…c'mon man. Tone it down a little will you? I don't want to dig another hole again so soon.” Wooyoung whined, stepping closer now to place a hand on his friend's shoulder to pull him away from you for now. Using this little distraction, you wiggled your fingers, noticing that whatever they injected you has worn off mostly already. You could try to flee, or you could try to snatch the knife and fight. Although, maybe your body might not be fully back in your control. Anything would be better than to sit here and have your tongue or vocal cords removed. Your eyes on the knife in Yeosang´s hand, you decided to fight, after all, you had taken taekwondo classes when you were younger. When the feeling in your legs returned fully, you quickly moved your body forwards, your hand reaching for the knife as you pushed the man against Wooyoung and snatch the knife away. 
Holding the handle of the knife tightly, you pointed it towards the two men now, eyes wide and your breath going fast. How long were you out because of what they had injected you with? You didn't know. The expression on Yeosang´s face didn´t ease your mind at all, why wasn't he scared or confused? No, he just had a slightly annoyed, yet curious smirk on his face, taking some steps closer to you, Wooyoung´s hand wrapping around the older one´s upper arm. “Yeo, wait. don´t do something stupid-” He hissed, but Yeosang only shrugged him off, eyes fully focused on you, not giving any thought to the knife in your hand. “You are holding it wrong, little mouse. You´re not only stupid, but also quite courageous. Maybe I actually do keep you. It's rather boring here, I always wanted to have an adorable toy, you know?” He hummed with his low and somewhat soothing voice. What surprised you was the quick movement that followed, his hand grabbing the knife off yours without giving you any time to react at all and one swift motion later, you felt the cold steel dive into the flesh of your thigh. “And now, cry for me, my little mouse.”
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