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hairmetal666 · 9 months

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Read Part One here

cw: implied child abuse

Eddie's coming over for coffee. Not Eddie with Nancy and Robin or Eddie with the kids. Just Eddie.

They haven't been alone in 9 years and now Eddie is coming over for coffee.

They're friends, of course. After Vecna they didn't have much of a choice, but they've never talked about it--that they used to be something.

After Steve kissed Eddie goodbye for what turned out to be the last time, they didn't see each other again for months and months, except for a devastatingly fleeting moment in the Family Video parking lot. And the next time after that, Eddie's pinning him to the wall of a rickety boathouse, a broken bottle to his throat.

What's going through his mind, his body, at that moment is relief. For days, weeks, months, he ached for Eddie's touch again, and even though he was in danger, he relished in the push of their bodies together. Thought, if this is how he dies, he won't mind going.

But they don't talk about it, about them, because Eddie is on the run and Max is going to die, and they have to save the world, so there's no time. In the aftermath, it's the least of their worries, and now it's been almost a decade and Eddie is coming over for coffee.

The thing is, it's not like Steve has been pining away for a love long lost in the intervening years, and neither has Eddie. They've both had longterm, serious relationships; Steve almost got married. But for Steve...Eddie is the one that's lingered, the one that knocks around his ribcage on late sleepless nights, the one that makes him dream of what might have been. Because Steve truly loved his other partners, but Eddie--nobody will ever compare.

Someone is knocking a rhythm at his front door, and he can't stifle his smile even as his heart runs riot in his chest.

"Hey, man," he says, remarkably nonchalant as he takes Eddie in. Still beautiful, still brimming with energy; his smile wide and dimpled, bouncing on his toes.

"Harrington!" Eddie grabs him into a quick side hug, slapping his back. "Since when do you wear glasses?"

Steve chuckles, touching the horn-rimmed frames. "Oh, god, Robin forced me to get them back in '87? Too many concussions." He touches his forehead. "I usually just wear contacts."

"It's a good look," Eddie says. He's very much not looking at Steve, eyes roaming around the Chicago apartment he's been to many times before.

He watches as Eddie spots the display of his own books, index finger slowly slipping across the spines in a way that makes Steve remember when those same fingers would slide down his spine. He stifles a shiver, turns towards the kitchen.

"So, how's New York? How's the book coming?"

"Livin' the dream." It's not flippant, not like how most people mean it. Eddie leaks genuineness, always has. "The book though...it's a little rough."

Steve sets the coffee maker going, brings fresh pastries and a couple plates over to the table. "I can imagine. It doesn't--it doesn't have to be the same, you know?"

"Yeah, if only I hadn't written three other books leading up to the evil mind wizard," Eddie chuckles. He grabs a croissant and tears it in half. "It'll be alright, Harrington. I'll figure it out. I lived through it the first time, after all."

Steve doesn't remind him that he almost didn't, that they almost didn't. Instead, he pours coffee, listens as Eddie talks about how to fictionalize the worst month of their collective lives.

He splashes milk into Eddie's coffee, taps in three scoops of sugar. He carries it to where Eddie waits, still talking about the logistics of Vecna-slash-Henry-slash-One in his novel, but his words abruptly stop as his hands wrap around the porcelain.

"Steve?"

It's only then that Steve realizes what he's done--made Eddie's coffee like he took it back then, made it without thinking, totally on muscle memory, when the best of his mornings were spent in Eddie's arms.

His cheeks glow crimson and he grips at the back of his neck. "S-sorry." He says. "It--is this still how you take it?"

"Yeah." Eddie's eyes fall from Steve's face, his own cheeks pink. "It's--yeah. Still the same."

"I'm sorry--"

"--Steve, I--"

They don't laugh. They both stop speaking and look at each other, faces still red. Steve thinks there's nothing for it but to get it all out now.

"I'm sorry, Eddie." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry I never came back. I'm sorry I didn't explain why. I'm just--really, really sorry."

Eddie's eyes are hooked on the table top, fingers twisting and twisting his coffee mug. "Can I--why? I waited and you--why?"

Steve swallows, but it gets stuck in his throat, and now he's the one who can't look up from his hands.

"My parents got home early," he manages. "My dad, he was waiting for me. I guess one of the neighbors thought it best to tell them who I'd been spending my time with."

Silence falls over the table, and he chances a look up at the man across from him, the one whose knuckles bite into his lips, whose eyes shine with unshed tears.

"You should've called me. You should've--you could've stayed with us. We would've kept you safe."

"Eddie, I couldn't. I physically couldn't," the admission costs him so much.

"Steve," Eddie chokes on his name, voice nothing but anguish. "Did anyone--You could've--you were all alone."

He shakes his head. "Robin knew. She snuck through my window to take care of me, but my parents--I couldn't--" This time the words really won't come. "We made a plan. We started that job at Family Video, and we saved up our money."

Now, Eddie's face is creased with grief. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry."

Steve shakes his head, smiles despite the wreckage around his heart. "You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I left you with no explanation. I broke your heart. And--and--" He thinks, what does it hurt to say it at this point. "I love you. I love you so much. I convinced myself you were better off without me, that we could have a clean break and you could get over me."

Eddie's hands cover his face, muffle the sob that slips out. "Get over you?" He whispers. "There's never been one like you, sweetheart."

He slides around the table to kneel at Eddie's side. "Hey." Deep brown eyes stare back at him, Eddie's face wet with tears. "It's always you, Ed. Always. I didn't want to say anything, if you had moved on, but--"

There's not really any transition from them talking to them kissing; Steve slips into it like he did all those years ago, when he first asked for Eddie's kiss. Their mouths slot together, their bodies fit like they always used to, perfect puzzle pieces. Steve's knees give out at the first brush of Eddie's tongue, and they collapse into a heap on the kitchen floor. Even then, they don't part.

Eventually, Steve does break the embrace, face flushed and hair a disaster, glasses hanging off one ear. "Okay, trying to be responsible here. Should we take a pause, go on a date first? Slow down?"

"Nine years isn't slow enough?" Eddie's pupils are blown, hair frizzed around his head.

"When you put it that way," Steve can't help but laugh. "I just want to do right by you, Eddie. Make up for--everything."

Eddie grins down at him, that sunshine beam smile where his dimples pop. "Tell you what, how bout you take me to bed now, and I'll let you take me on a date tomorrow?"

"Oh, you'll let me?" Steve rakes a hand through Eddie's mane of hair. "I don't think you'll have any choice."

"You sure about that, Stevie?" Their lips are so close, the brush with every word.

"Uh-huh," Steve's having trouble keeping his eyes focused, overwhelmed by the sheer force of Eddie Munson. "Never letting you go again, Ed."

Surprise! Part 2! I genuinely had no intention on doing a follow-up, but so many of you asked so nicely that it gave me this idea. Sorry if I miss anyone in the tag list and thank you for reading! @everywherenothere @tiny-enthusiast @emma-elsa-0000 @fuzzyduxk @moonythepluviophile @anaibis @rhapsodyinalto @bunk12bear @tillystealeaves @velocitytimes2 @s-trawberryv-eins @marklee-blackmore @ignoremyworld @its-a-me-a-morgan @goodolefashionedloverboi @starman-jpg @djohawke @adaydreamaway08

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #getting back together #mutual pining #fluff #ficlet #part 2 #time jump #a tiny bit of angst #here's the happy ending #implied child abuse #part one was august i guess part two is the one #we were something don't you think so #and if my wishes came true it would've been you #jk eddie is the one #they're in love your honor #steve's parents are pieces of shit

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artheresy · 1 year

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I made more because I crave Stormbringer content that is silly goofy and not utterly soul-crushing <3

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hanadoesstuffwrong · 5 months

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Some doodles because the concept art for this mediocre corporate mess has been haunting me

#we could have had it all #starboy #asha x star #wish 2023 #wish rewrite #wish concept art #pls don't bother trying to defend the movie to me cos i really really really don't care #these two have been rotating in my brain like a rotisserie chicken and thats why im here #disney used to be known for exactly three things: insane musical numbers + traumatising parent death scenes and LOVE STORIES #h0w do u manage to leave each of those out of ur big celebration homage flick????..#i have my own full rewrite with replacement song concepts that will never see the light of day but thats what these come from #the gist is its gender-swapped Stardust where the moral is 'dont strive so hard for an ideal that u miss the good things u already have'#the fanart and animatics and analyses are the best things to come out of this movie by far!

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raainstorms · 1 year

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He loves Aurora like a father. — Sam Riley

#diaval #aurora #disney #disneyedit #maleficentedit #edits #maleficent 1 #maleficent 2 #series: maleficent #fairytale family of my heart #I know I've said this before but #diaval was as much a parent to aurora as maleficent was #if not more so #maleficent was the protector while diaval was the nurturer #I would even argue that diaval took on the more traditional maternal role #it's a unique and lovely dynamic to see in these movies #I only wish they acknowledged it more

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fluffyartbl0g · 1 year

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UWAHHHHHHH @flimflamfranky’s KLABAUTERMANN!FRANKY AU IS MAKING ME FEEL SO MANY THINGS!!!! HERE’S THE AO3 FIC ABOUT IT!!! GO READ IT!!!!

Imagine if the crew somehow found a beat up an abandoned cutty flam ship years later and Franky got to repair it with his new shipwright skills,,, something something revisiting childhood trauma with new adult experiences and healing,,,

#one piece #op fanart #cutty flam #op franky #cyborg franky #klabautermann!franky #man genuinely is one of my favourite strawhats #I have so. so many feelings about him.#being abandoned. THROWN into the seas by his pirate parents #and growing up with iceburg and tom…#tom teaching franky about the unconditional love a parent should have… the kind of love franky didnt have when he was tossed away #i have so many feelings #there are barely any video essays on him. WHY.#melontee i loved ur video but it sadly didnt even do my boy half justice… i wish it was an hour longer….

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head---ache · 1 year

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Finally elaborating a bit (the tiniest bit) on their wedding:]

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uncanny-tranny · 11 days

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Part of my experience with abuse is hoping I get a kid like me so I can know how easy it can be to love them, how easy it is to not treat them how I was treated, and breaking that cycle. It was only hard for them to love me as a child because they didn't love me in the first place. They wished for me to know the hate they had, and I refuse to carry their water for them like that. It was never hard to love me.

#mental health #mental health recovery #abuse #abuse tw #even if i never become a dad i know what it's like to love strangers as though they were my flesh #and i wouldn't wish them the hate that i experienced #treating myself like a stranger in some ways helped me realize i never deserved any of it #anyway. if you were treated this way: you weren't hard to love as a child #even the most 'out of control' chuldren are not impossible to love #aand the effort to love them is worth it every time #because loving and respecting people is worth it even when it's not always easy #like i'm not saying parenting is easy. but the easy part ought to be the love part #maybe that's the first easy thing you should do before having children i think #because as a hastag abused kid: we can tell when you hate us. we can feel the searing hatred #we can tell when you wouldn't care if we died. and it sticks with you #and you become an ANTI-role model to us #i am well into my life as an adult and my abusers from childhood are STILL my anti-role models because of how awful they were

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year

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I love Jiang Cheng and I hope you agree. The most tragic thing about yunmeng siblings is that JC and WWX really love each other the whole time… I like to think they can fix it someday

Someday perhaps....in the meantime, I bet he's loving having dogs run around lotus pier. As a WWX deterrent of course. No therapeutic reasons at all.

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #Jiang Cheng #As much as I put him on blast #I do like JC quite a bit.#Man....I'm sad you're on anon cause I'd love to talk more about the yunmeng sibiling tragedy #Part of me so badly wishes that they do reconcile after some time #though a good tragedy comes from the pain of what could have been #JC is definitely in my top 5 mdzs characters and its absolutely due to how messy he is #ngl I can kinda relate to where his hurt comes from and it makes it very interesting to analyze.#Favourism and antagonism of parents messes up sibling dynamics so much #The grief and trauma ended up causing a rift not a shared moment of solidarity #JC is a counter-representation and a foil to how LWJ deals with his grief #as heartbroken as LWJ is he...keeps his life going. The grief settles and he doesn't forget but he *moves forwards*#JC doesn't! He can't! He has so much guilt and regret and the grief stagnates him! Love and grief can become so terribly consuming!#He's so human for it! This is a story where no-one is morally black or white! *People* aren't black and white!

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petrichara · 6 months

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There comes a moment, a few years forward. Precision of memory fails. The exact cadence of their voice, light of their eyes, the way they made their tea. You catch yourself in the midst of a story; you don’t know the next words. They’re not here to ask. Immortalised in grief, they are myth and memory.

#my dad is memory and myth #aren’t parents always #then one dies when you’re a kid and you understand why stories are told generation after generation until words blur and the truth is a wish #parents are gods when you’re 4 #the biggest strongest bravest wisest #and sometimes they scare you #and sometimes their death leaves you alone in a church #the body is cold and the sky is too in December #and it’s not god you’re looking to for answers #it is December and the sun is gone #I wish you were here #I love you always #grief

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thejadecount · 1 year

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So I recently just got into Miles x Mikey (Shellshocked my beloved) and I just can’t help but to imagine Mikey getting ahold of a cloaking brooch and meeting Miles’ parents for the first time.

Rio: You can stay for the night if you li—

Jefferson: YOU CAN STAY FOREVER!

#so yeah Mikey has Miles’s parents’ blessing immediately #like I just can’t help but to think Jefferson is so proud of his son for dating such a polite man #I just feel like he would immediately become part of the morales family #jefferson: you can call me dad if you wish #miles: DAD THAT’S A LITTLE MUCH DON’T YOU THINK—#Miles is embarrassed it’s a whole thing #jefferson: AND he has a shared love for art? HE’S PERFECT #IT CAN’T GET BETTER!#when it’s revealed he’s actually a crime fighting superhero mutant like miles: IT GETS BETTER!#I just feel like miles’ parents would love Mikey #and that’s my take on this ship #rottmnt #rise tmnt #spider man into the spider verse #spider man #miles morales #shellshocked #mikey x miles #they’re ship name is so good guys Omg #I’m in love with this ship now

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princess-ibri · 4 months

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King Magnifico Backstory Part 3

Part 2

On the Princesses 18th birthday, a strange messenger came to the castle, with a desperate plea.

"Princess Maroula, my mistress, the Keeper of the Wishing Stars, who granted both you and your father life, needs your aid. There is a quest that only one such as you can fulfill. A dangerous quest but a necessary one for the good of all people within this world and the EverRealm. She has done what she can herself, but her gaze is stretched thin by her obligations. We ask that you leave as soon as possible, if you are willing to come and aid us.”

And the princess, always kind of heart, and remembering the conversation in the garden all those years ago was willing

But her father was not.

“How dare your mistress ask this dangerous task of my daughter! She knows the perils that exist in that realm, that befell me. She did nothing to aid me in my troubles, why should she ask to place my daughter in peril now?”

“The Blue Lady is young, in the way of her people, she had only recently taken over this charge when your misfortunes befell you, and she has sorrowed over them ever since. She granted you your daughter in part as penance for that failure. But still she has her duties, and she has foreseen a threat that only as deeply linked to Wishes as Maroula is can combat. Would you see an entire realm suffer for what was done to you?”

Maroula knew the anger born from his past heartache, which her father usually tried to keep under control, beginning to rise, and tried to sooth him

“Father, I am willing to go. You and Mother have taught me well in both the use of magic and the need to be generous in helping others. Please, let me go and help the Lady. How can I call myself a princess of Rosas and not do so?”

“No Maroula!” The King cried, his fear for his daughter and anger getting the best of him. “I won’t allow it! What right has this fairy to grant my greatest wish, give our happiness tangibility and then take it away!”

“She’s not taking me away Father, she’s only asking that I—“

“Enough!”

The king turned and dismissed the messenger coldly from his sight, demanding that it never return, for his daughter would not be going to the other realm, now or ever.

“That choice is the Princess Maroula’s.” The messenger said as it left, unfazed by the king’s anger. “She is a woman grown now, able to make her own choices, even if they are not what you would choose for her. If she wishes to go, then she may go”

“Then I shall insure she cannot!”

And with that, the king used his magics to open up a room, deep deep beneath the castle, a room he had discovered upon taking claim of the castle, (a room where he had found a dangerous and deceptive tome of magic). Here he wove about with his spells and enchantments so that he was sure no star’s light could find his daughter.

“I don’t wish to leave you here Maroula, but I must keep you safe, at all costs. Let that other place deal with its own problems. You will stay here until you’ve learned to see sense”

And so the king left his daughter crying in the dark, as his gentle queen cried in the palace above, torn between supporting her husband in keeping their daughter safe from unknown danger, and supporting her daughter’s generous wish to help

What neither realized, is that there was one small opening within the dungeon, a keyhole that the king had failed to account for, a keyhole through which a single thin strain of starlight came through and found the weeping princess. The princess beheld the light, and taking the power within her, she wished upon the star

And the star answered

But what came after for Princess Maroula is a story for another time…

The king and queen sought day and night for their daughter, but even with all his powers, either the power of the Lady of the Wishing Stars was greater, or Maroula was using her own to avoid her father’s search. Even his wishing her back did nothing. And so the king and queen fell into despair, knowing their daughter was lost forever.

Is this the thanks I get for granting everyone else’s wishes all these years? To have my own daughter run from me? I’ve cared for her from the day she was born, given her everything and and she still decides to defy and disrespect me with this rebellion?!”

At last, the king, letting his anger over this perceived betrayal overcome his grief, decided that they could no longer go on as they had, and so he crafted a spell that would enable them to move forward

He asked his wife to give to him her wish for their daughter’s return, gifting it to him to hold onto until it could be granted. And as Amaya gave him her wish, trusting that one day it would come true—the memory of her daughter left her entirely, along with the grief of her loss. Letting her forget without the weight of regret…

From then on, the king utilized this spell whenever it came time to grant his people’s wishes, holding on to them in perpetuity, instead of granting them on sight. Having lost the love of his daughter, he tried to substitute it with the love he felt imbibed in each wish as he guarded them, keeping them safe as he couldn’t protect her. Each person who gave him their wish forgot it, and so Magnifico intended to ensure that not only would no unworthy wish be granted, but no wish would lead to the heartbreak he had suffered

Despite his anger at his daughter, over the years he took many other apprentices, seeking to fill the void she had left, even granting their and their families wishes when he usually would have declined to—but none of them ever filled the place of his beloved Maroula.

And as the years passed, his anger over her loss, the heartbreak of his past, and his frustration over watching everyone’s wishes be granted but his own began to harden the king’s heart, and a darkness grew beneath his pristine exterior, waiting for the day until he felt threatened enough in his power and control to break loose…

#my art #and that’s a wrap for the backstory!#definitely intend to do a wish sequel idea where Asha and Starboy try to figure out what happened to Maroula #anyway both of Magnifico’s song just gave me dad energy right off the bat #both protective energy in At All Costs (along with an almost addictied to the wishes vibe?#which I also kind of tried to hint at with him feeling the love that comes from granting a wish and mistaking that forhis ‘parents’ love #and later hoarding them)#and of course a narcissistic dad in This is the Thanks I get #so I knew I had to give him a daughter for Asha to remind him of #also the dark bunny messenger is from the Fairy with the Torquise Hair in Pinocchio having black bunny servants!#cuz that’s Blue’s mom in the DisneyVerse #king magnifico #disney wish #wish 2023 #magnifico x amaya #the blue fairy #Maroula #disneyverse #canon descendants #Disney ocs #disney descendants #disney #wish movie #disney headcanons #queen amaya #villain backstory #disney villains

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iamumbra195 · 1 month

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Do you ever think about how Ben chose not to speak ever again?

About how he probably tried to sing over and over again when he was all by himself, hoping that one day his voice wouldn't break in such a horrible way when singing a song he used to love before finally giving up because he couldn't stand the sound of his voice anymore?

About how he lost his outlet for stress so he fell into a depression that festered into a rage, all-consuming yet never filling that hole left in his heart?

About how he'd lost his way after being forced to realize letting his anger consume him would have consequences on the people he cared about?

About how he probably felt so alone when his parents sent him to live with his aunt and uncle, thinking his parents had given up on him despite them trying to tell him they were doing it for his own good?

About how he'd found a guiding light in the darkness, a purpose in following Aiden-- someone who was reckless and lived life like there was no tomorrow, someone he knew would always have his back, protecting him just as he did them, someone who would fill the stifling silence with mindless chatter?

About how he's managed to still be so overwhelmingly kind and gentle despite everything he'd gone through?

Because I do.

#my sweet baby boy #he's probably like 9in taller than me but he's still my boy #school bus graveyard #school bus graveyard webtoon #sbg #sbg (webtoon)#ben clark #aiden clark #clark family #aiden and ben's parents...#I love them but i find their parenting choices highly questionable #ben clark appreciation #because he deserves more #and i wish we knew more about him and Aiden's relationship #I feel like we're going to get it soon though #cause he's been getting a lot of screen time #which I'm simultaneously afraid of and happy about #Red please don't hurt my boy

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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months

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look i know dethklok is a quaint little menagerie of dudes with mad parental baggage (minus nathan he's in the control group) and that the fandom also gravitates towards those conflicts and themes and stuff because fuckin duh obviously but like. well. um. does anyone else get just like.. Absurdly emotional at murderface calling skwisgaar his strong and brave little soldier or is that just my particular brain poison

#ow. (plays it again) ow. (plays it again) ow. (plays it again)#mtl #metalocalypse #dethklok #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #like damn. wish someone talked like that to me when i was a kid. how'd he even learn to do that no one even taught him or anything #like yeah i think some of his desire to take this role is because he wants to be important to someone (and also wants respect) and being a #father figure is a way of achieving that. it's not 100% about banging skwis' mom it's about validation and interpersonal connection #but he (on a whim!) was more tender with skwis than. well. my parents ever were even when they were trying.#sigh #looping pickles daddy issues comp like a very very well adjusted adult. look the vulnerability in his voice really gets to me ok #it's about my love for voice acting i swear (<- not even trying to convince you + head in my hands)#nyarla dni #shit's embarrassing sorry man

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kaladinkholins · 4 months

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i know I've mentioned my interpretation of mizu's gender a million times on here but i don't think i ever fully elaborated on it.

so on that note i just wanna ramble about that for a bit. basically, it's my reading of the show that mizu is nonbinary, so let me dig into that.

putting the rest under the cut because it ended being pretty long lol. also here have a cute mizu pic of her being happy and most at ease with herself, symbolised by her letting her hair down. <3 ok let's proceed.

okay note that nonbinary is an umbrella term, and applies to a vast range of gender identities, but it's my personal preference to use it as is, simply because i'm not a fan of microlabels. more power to you if you are though, but anyway.

essentially when i refer to mizu as nonbinary it means that i interpret mizu as a woman, but not ONLY a woman. not strictly a woman. she is also a man. she is also neither of these things, she is something in between, while at the same time she is none of these at all. i've said as much many times, but i just don't want people to think that by nonbinary it inherently means a "third androgynous gender" that essentially turns the gender binary into a gender trinary. not only is that going against what the term nonbinary was crafted for (to go against rigid boxes and categorisation of gender identities), but also, not all nonbinary people fall under that category or definition, and that's definitely not the way i interpret mizu.

also, before anyone fights me on this, let me clarify further that gender means something different to everyone. it's not your biological sex or physical characteristics. but at the same time, gender is not mere presentation. you can be a trans woman and still present masculine—either because you're closeted and forced to, or because you just want to—and either way, that doesn't take away from your identity as a woman. same goes for trans men. if you're a trans man but you wear skirts and don't bind or don't get top surgery, that doesn't make you any less of a man. because gender non-conformity exists, and does not only apply to cis people! some lesbians are nonbinary and prefer using he/him pronouns while dressing masculinely, but that doesn't mean they're a man, or that they're any less of a lesbian. neither does this mean that they're a cis woman.

the thing about queer identities in general is that, like i said, they mean something different to everyone, because how you identify—regardless of your biological attributes and fashion or pronouns—is an extremely personal experience. so a nonbinary person and a gnc cis woman's experiences might have plenty of overlap, but what distinguishes between the two is up to the individual. there's no set requirements to distinguish you as one or the other, but it's up to you to decide what you identify as, based on what you feel. either way, by simply identifying yourself as anything under the LGBTQ+ umbrella, you are already communicating to the world that you are not what a conservative, cisheteronormative society wants you to be.

which is why i find all this queer infighting on labels to be so ridiculous. because we're all fighting the same fight; the common enemy is a societal structure that divides us into set roles and expectations purely based on our biological parts. that's why biological essentialism in the queer community is a fucking disease. because by arguing that women are inherently weak and fragile and soft and gentle and must be protected from evil ugly men, while men are inherently strong and angry and violent and exploitative of women, these people are advocating for the same fucked up system that marginalises and abuses women as well as effeminate and/or gay men.

anyway. i'm going on a tangent. this was meant to be a blue eye samurai post. so yeah back to that— the point i'm trying to make is that there's no one way to identify as anything, and everyone views gender in a specific way.

so with that being said, yes you can definitely interpret mizu as a gnc cis woman and that's a totally valid reading. however, interpreting her as nonbinary or transmasc also doesn't take away from her experiences with misogyny and female oppression, because nonbinary and transmasc folks also experience these things.

me, personally, i view her as nonbinary but not necessarily or always transmasc because i still believe femininity and womanhood is an inherent part of who mizu is. for example, from what we've seen, she does not like binding. it does not give her gender euphoria, but is instead very uncomfortable for her both physically and mentally, and represents her suppressing her true self. which is why when she "invites the whole" of herself, she stands completely bare in front of the fire, breasts unbound and hair untied. when she is on the ship heading to a new land in the ending scene, she is no longer hiding her neck and the lack of an adam's apple. we can thus infer that mizu does not have body dysmorphia. she is, in fact, comfortable in her body, and relies on it extremely, because her body is a weapon. instead, what mizu hates about herself is her face—her blue eyes. she hates herself for her hybridised identity, hates herself for being a racial Other. hates that she has no home in her homeland. these are not queer or feminist themes, but postcolonial ones.*

* and as a tiny aside on this subject, i really do wish more of the fandom discussion would talk about this more. it's just such an essential part to reading her character. like someone who's read homi k bhabha's location of culture and has watched this show, PLEASE talk to me so we can ramble all about how the show is all about home and alienation from community. please. okay anyway—

nevertheless, queer and feminist themes (which are not mutually exclusive by the way!) are still prevalent in her story, though they are not the main issue that she is struggling with. but she does struggle with it to some extent, and we see this especially during her marriage with mikio, where we see her struggle in women's domestic spaces.

on the other hand, though, she finds no trouble or discomfort in being a man or being around other men—even naked ones—and does not seem stifled by living as one, does not seem all that bothered or uncomfortable navigating through men's spaces. contrast this to something like disney's mulan (1998), where we do see mulan struggle in navigating through men's spaces, as she feels uncomfortable being around so many men, always feeling like she doesn't belong and that she's inherently different from them. mizu has no such experiences like this, as her very personality and approach to life is what can be categorised as typically "masculine". she is straightforward and blunt. her first meeting with mikio, she tells him straight to his face that he's old while frowning and raising a brow at him. she approaches problems with her muscles and fists (or swords), rather than with her words or mind. compare this with mulan, who, while well-trained by the end of the movie, still uses her sharp wits rather than brute strength. this is a typically "feminine" approach. it's also the approach akemi relies on throughout the show—through her intelligence and persuasive tongue, she navigates the brothel with ease. mizu, in contrast to someone like mulan and akemi, struggles with womanhood and femininity, and feels detached from it.

thus, in my opinion, mizu is not simply a man, nor is she simply a woman. she is both. man and woman. masculine and feminine. she has to accept both, rather than suppress one or the other. her name means water. fluid.

as a side note, while i do believe mizu is nonbinary, i also primarily use she/her pronouns but this is a personal preference. i find it's easier, plus it's what the creators use, and because, in general, being nonbinary simply doesn't necessitate the use of they/them pronouns. nonbinary is not just a third gender. it's about breaking the binary, in any which way, and that's exactly what mizu does.

also, i'd also like to mention that one of show's head of story even referred to her with the term "nonbinary", rather than simply "androgynous" (see pic below). and it's possible this could be a slip up on his part, in which he believes the terms are interchangeable (they're not btw), but regardless i find it a very interesting word choice, and one that supports my stance.

so anyway yeah that's my incredibly long rambling post.

TL;DR nonbinary mizu rights 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 congrats if you reached the end of this btw. also ily. unless you're a TERF in which case fuck off. ok i'm done.

#mizu blue eye samurai #mizu bes #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #sorry if this is redundant btw i just cant stop thinking thoughts :3 #btw i am a mixed* southeast asian who is also nonbinary. just in case that's important context #by mixed* i mean i'm asian+asian but diff ethnicities lol. i dont have a white bone in my body god bless<3 #my whiteness is purely learned thru cultural osmosis + bcs my parents taught me english as a first language (boooo 🍅🍅🍅)#also i live in the global south so i think EYE know a thing or two about being gnc in a society of rigid awful gender roles‼️#so likeee i think its ridiculous that its an either-or thing #mizu can be nonbinary while still being a woman of colour ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#also ummm as much as i love queer themes and gay people i wish people would talk more about the racial otherness / community aspect #as mentioned in the post above #you don't need to read bhabha's whole book btw but just take a look at some of his ideas and you'll get what im talking about #like the fact that the fandom mostly ignores those themes in the story makes me feel like :( :/#cuz to me THATS the thing that spoke to me most and its a shame that its just not talked about enough #i mean i know why thats likely the case. but still.#whoops im rambling again 🤪#fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf

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