#i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety

[sureuncertainty]

at least now i've gone through an important tumblr rite of passage, watching a longtime mutual become a radfem :/

#the thing that really got me was that they were talking about their morality ocd triggering them about it #bc of the way tumblr and the internet in general has this black and white approach to things #and one of those i guess was 'transphobes = bad' which like. is not what i'm ever talking about when i say that things have more nuance #that said i DO think that the way this website prioritizing hating terfs over supporting trans people is kinda gross #but anyway this person was so anxious about it and it just was depressing bc i related to that #they were SO afraid of losing friends or being cancelled over it and i was just like damn i wonder if all terfs are that miserable #but they acted like they just had no choice but to believe this 'thing' that they constantly alluded to but never talked outright about #which i am pretty sure now is just that they're a radfem or at least believe in a lot of radfem ideologies #and honestly? i go back and forth between genuinely feeling so bad for them and being like well that's what you fucking get #i wish i'd had the courage to talk to them about it but whenever i thought about it i got immeasurable anxiety #sorry for the very long tag ramble i just haven't been able to talk about this and it's been eating ME up too for a long time #i just feel horrible. i know in the past they've mentioned too how they want people to tell them why if they unfollow/block them #but i can't. i cannot. and then i'm afraid of just feeding into their victim complex by doing this #i just can't win. and it's like. i'm trans i am literally affected by their bigotry that they're acting like is just not even a choice #ALSO I REMEMBER HOW THEY MADE A POST ONCE ABOUT HOW PEOPLE IRL DON'T TALK ABOUT TRANS STUFF #LIEK IDK WHAT PLANET YOU ARE LIVING ON MY DUDE BUT I HAVE LIKE 5 TRANS COWORKERS AND EVERYONE IS VERY NORMAL ABOUT THEM #like maybe YOU live in a bad area #but you're just a really loud minority #anyway. yeah. just. oof. #still feeling some kind of anxiety about it #win rambles

[yournameloveskpop]

Love At First Sight

Paring: Seungmin x Reader

Style: Fluff, SFW, Friendship, Romance, love at first sight

Word count: 847

In the bustling corridors of JYP Entertainment, Seungmin hurried towards the practice room, his mind preoccupied with the upcoming dance routine. The corridors, usually a familiar terrain, seemed to conspire against him, making him almost late. As he rounded a corner, his thoughts on the intricate steps he needed to perfect, he collided with someone.

The impact sent both of them tumbling to the ground. Seungmin, sprawled awkwardly on top, looked into the eyes of the person he had bumped into. It was a girl, her expression a mix of surprise and something else he couldn't quite place. Their eyes locked for a moment, and Seungmin felt a jolt, an inexplicable connection sparking between them. He scrambled to his feet, offering a hand to help her up.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there. Are you okay?" Seungmin asked, his voice tinged with concern.

The girl, brushing herself off, nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just wasn't expecting a human roadblock," she said with a half-smile, her tone light.

Seungmin chuckled, the tension easing. "I'm Seungmin, by the way."

"Y/N," she replied, her smile growing more genuine.

Before Seungmin could say anything more, he glanced at his watch and realized the time. "I have to go. Dance practice. But, um, it was nice crashing into you, Y/N."

"Likewise, Seungmin," she said, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

As Seungmin rushed away, his heart raced, not from the dash but from the encounter. There was something about Y/N that lingered in his mind, a curiosity that he couldn't shake off. He reached the practice room, slightly disheveled, to find his bandmates already warming up.

"Look who decided to show up," teased Changbin, noticing Seungmin's disheveled state.

Seungmin tried to focus on the practice, but his thoughts kept drifting back to Y/N. His cheeks flushed slightly whenever he thought of their brief interaction. Han noticed his distracted demeanor.

"Hey, Seungmin, you okay? You seem a bit out of it," Han inquired, looking at him with a hint of concern.

Seungmin just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. His mind replayed the moment their eyes met, the feeling of connection that he couldn't quite understand.

Meanwhile, Y/N wandered through the corridors of JYP Entertainment, her mind replaying the encounter with Seungmin. She couldn't help but wonder if she would bump into him again. His warm eyes and gentle smile lingered in her thoughts. She smiled to herself, a sense of anticipation building within her. Would fate bring them together again?

Over the next few days, Seungmin found himself increasingly distracted. He would catch himself staring off into space, his thoughts wandering to Y/N. The other members of Stray Kids noticed his unusual behavior.

"Seungmin's been acting weird since he bumped into that girl," Changbin commented to the others.

"Yeah, he's definitely got something on his mind," Felix agreed, a knowing grin on his face.

Seungmin, overhearing their conversation, felt his cheeks heat up. It was true; he couldn't get Y/N out of his mind. There was something about her that felt different, something that he wanted to explore.

As fate would have it, Seungmin's wish was granted sooner than he expected. A few days later, as he was leaving the practice room, he saw Y/N again. She was talking to someone at the reception desk, her back towards him. Seungmin's heart skipped a beat. Gathering his courage, he approached her.

"Y/N?" he called out tentatively.

She turned around, her face lighting up with recognition and surprise. "Seungmin! Hi, I didn't expect to see you here again so soon."

"I was just heading out. Are you busy right now?" Seungmin asked, hoping for a chance to spend more time with her.

"Not really, just finishing up some work stuff," Y/N replied, her curiosity piqued.

"Do you want to grab a coffee or something? I'd love to talk more, get to know you," Seungmin offered, his voice hopeful.

Y/N smiled, nodding. "I'd like that."

As they walked to a nearby café, Seungmin felt a sense of ease and excitement. They talked about everything from music to their dreams, finding common ground and shared interests. Y/N's laughter was infectious, and Seungmin found himself opening up more than he usually did.

"You know, I don't usually bump into people and then ask them out for coffee," Seungmin admitted, his tone playful.

"Good to know I'm an exception then," Y/N teased, her eyes sparkling.

Their conversation flowed effortlessly, and before they knew it, hours had passed. As they left the café, Seungmin felt a sense of reluctance to part ways.

"This was really nice, Y/N. Can we do this again?" Seungmin asked, his voice tinged with hope.

"I'd like that, Seungmin. Today was a lot of fun," Y/N replied, her smile genuine.

They exchanged numbers, promising to meet up again soon. As Seungmin walked back, he couldn't help but feel that something special had just begun. A smile played on his lips, his heart lighter than it had been in a long time.

#stray kids x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #stray kids seungmin #stray kids #skz seungmin #skz x female reader #skz fanfic #skz x y/n #skz x you #skz x reader #seungmin x y/n #seungmin x you #seungmin x reader #seungmin #kim seungmim #seungmin stray kids

[eiko-chatter]

(CW death, suicide) 6 months ago today, I lost a close friend.

Mari was - someone who loved unabashedly and shared it with the world, despite having been horribly wronged by it. She made a point of complimenting strangers because she knew she was unthreatening and wanted people to know the things about them she appreciated. She tried hard to reach out to people she thought seemed neat, even though it took her time to build up the courage - that's how we met in the first place, at skating night. (she told me later she'd been building up the courage to talk to me the first 3 times we'd been at skating together). In my short time with her, she made it abundantly clear how much she loved her people - her entire soul lit up when she talked about them. She told me so many stories about people I didn't know very well and more about people I'd never met - will probably never meet, now - and even though she's gone, a little piece of her love for them remains.

She brought that energy to her hobbies - she wrote and shared really detailed strategy guides for the games she played, made and published free translations of foreign gay comics on request - and her friendships. I met Mari only a few weeks before my roommate's cat died. She came to visit us a day or two later, brought us flowers, and kept us company while we grieved. She checked in on us every day, sometimes multiple times a day, and did what she could to help. She was meticulous about keeping track of people's preferences and triggers, and thanked me whenever i told her about one so that she could use it to be more effectively kind.

I didn't really learn the details of what Mari was going through until a week before she died, but it was - genuinely harrowing. She was really hesitant to talk about it at all, but it eventually got bad enough that she was willing to, and when I heard the details I invited her to come to stay with us to get a break and have some company. She stayed with us for 3 days, during which she was more scared and frightened than I'd ever seen her. By the time I took her back home, things had gotten worse - she said she just wanted to be alone, that she thought that would help, so I hugged her and left. (it was the last time I'd see her. she was smiling at me and making a little heart gesture with her hands as I drove away). But being alone ended up being worse for her - she asked me if she should find someone to babysit her, but I - didn't know anyone in her area (it was a pretty long drive), and she was having a lot of trouble with her local social group, so we planned on having me go down to look after her that Saturday, and I spent the time until then checking in on her as often as I could. Friday afternoon she told me she was really grateful that I was doing that for her. It was the last thing she ever said to me.

When I got there Saturday, she was gone. She'd left out a bunch of things that she wanted to gift or return to people. She wrote a note, apologizing to everyone in her life for not being strong enough to ask for help, telling them how much she loved them and how good they were, and a warning on the door, saying not to come in and to instead call 911. (i didn't listen. i wish i had. even then, she was trying so hard to make sure whoever found her wouldn't be hurt more than they had to).

i loved Mari from the moment i knew her well enough to see her for who she was. i've tried, in the last 6 months, to bring a little bit of her kind and thoughtful spirit into my interactions with people, and to do small things to look after the people i know she loved and cared about.

i wish things could have been different. she deserved so much better than this. so often i see things or meet people and think about - how much she would have loved them, how much i wish i could have shared them with her. i miss her so much, still. losing her was the most painful thing i've ever gone through, by far. my friends and family have been - incredibly kind and patient and loving and generous with me. i know i would be doing so much worse without them and am deeply indebted to them. i'm trying really hard to - continue being the kind of person i want to be, to have the traits that she loved in me. it's - often really hard, though it's been getting easier, bit by bit.

goodbye, Mari. i'll always love you. the world is forever diminished by your absence.

#cw death #cw suicide #personal #long #i wish things were different ; ; #mari

[leahseclipse]

Dar+ling (Emily Prentiss x f!reader)

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x fem!reader

Warnings: Nothing but an alarming amount of cuteness 🤭

Prompt: Person A finally confesses their feelings for B, who has wanted to do just the same for weeks

Summary: Emily finally gets the courage to confess their feelings to the reader, who has just wanted to do it too for a while.

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Doing this cute fic for @foxy-eva 's writing challenge 🥳🥳 congratulations for the 2k followers, I wish you lots of success for the future!!! (Btw this hasn't been beta'd lmao I literally wrote all of this on the Tumblr editor.......... 🫣)

It had always been absolutely no secret to everyone that Emily and I have always been quite close for the past few years, always hanging out after work, chatting for hours and hours in the break room, sitting a bit too long on each other's desks, and the list goes on and on.

We've never gone much farther than that. Not because we didn't want to, just because we didn't really talk about everything, the feelings matter, if we like each other as friends or not... It just never came up. I guess we didn't really think about it.

I've never dared to cross the line, I don't want things to end up awkward because I like her and she doesn't. But, what if she likes me too? For all I know, she could do, I don't see why not.

But, I've never asked her.

I really want to, though. The words are standing on the tip of my tongue whenever it's just the two of us, they're waiting to be said but... I don't let them out. I keep telling myself that I'll do it next time, but 'next time' ends up being delayed and on and on.

I just wish I could confess to her. Then I'd probably feel much better and everything would be fine. I really wish I could do it already. It's been weeks since I've been wanting to tell her.

I always stare at Emily's desk whether she's there or not, I just love to memorize every trait of her face, all the time. I can still imagine her sitting there even though she hasn't arrived to work yet.

I always look forward for the sound of the elevator, each morning. It might be my favorite sound after the sound of her voice. Elevator sounds being my favorite is a bit weird, but I like it because after that her arrival always follows.

And just when I turn my head, the elevator tings, and Emily is there. Her eyes meet mine and I wave at her quicky before standing up to walk up to her.

"Well someone's happy to see me today." Emily says as she opens her arms to hug me. We always sway from left to right, it's our thing.

"As always." I respond as we pull apart from each other and automatically start to walk towards our respective desks, even though she never sits at her chair first. She always goes for my desk, and I sit on my chair and look up at her in all of her beauty.

Even though we've seen each other yesterday, it's like we haven't talked in years. We chat for at least 30 minutes before realizing it's been that long.

I notice that she's been acting slightly different though, as if something has been on her mind. I wonder what happened, if I should ask about it or not while we talk.

I look around and notice that others have started to arrive. We greet them and slightly chat with them, and I start to think that it would be probably better if we moved somewhere else more private to talk.

"Hey, uh... Do you wanna go get some coffee in the break room? I haven't had any this morning and I'm starting to crave caffeine." I chuckle, and she smiles. She smiles.

We both walk away from the desk to the thankfully empty room, and I start to open up the cabinet where mugs are kept.

"Here, your mug." I say as I grab it and hand it to her, before I grab my own and close the cabinet.

"I'll pour it for you, here." She says and I set down my mug on the counter as she pours coffee in it.

"That's kind of you, thanks."

"You're welcome." She responds, and our eyes meet, just for a few seconds, then probably a bit more. It's like it's just the two of us, in a bubble, for a moment. Then she starts to chuckle, out of nowhere. It usually happens when we stare into each other's eyes for too long, I guess it's a nervous reaction. I smile to myself as she pours coffee for herself and sets the pot back on the holder.

We just stand there in silence as we drink our coffees, and neither of us seem to mind. Silent moments are precious too sometimes, I like them. Just standing by her is enough for me.

"Hey, uh..." She starts to talk but stops, as if she hesitates.

"Yeah?" I look at her but she has trouble to look at me. She seems nervous. "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing bad. It's just... I've... Been thinking about something lately."

"What have you been thinking about?" I ask as we both set our empty mugs on the counter.

"You?"

"Me? What about?" I start to smile, out of nervousness.

"About the fact that I love you." I can see her exhaling a big breath after she tells the words, as if a weight has been lifted off her, and I think that I feel it too.

"You... You love me?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Well, it kinda turns out I do too." I say with a smile and she instantly seems relieved.

"You have no idea how bad I wished you did too."

"And you have no idea how long I've wanted to do this. It's been... Weeks."

"It's been way too long."

"Yeah." I say, before looking behind me to see if anyone else is near, but no one is. I can hear chatting nearby, everyone is probably too busy talking.

"Why did you-" Emily starts to ask, but I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers, just for a few seconds, because someone might come.

"You'll kiss me back tonight. They'll start looking for us any time now." I say after I pull away.

Emily is breathless as she puts her hands on my arms and says, "I might kiss you before, I'm known to be bad at waiting."

(Tell me what you thought about this fic here! ❤️ Don't hesitate to drop a request if you want ☺️)

Here's my masterlist if you want to check out more of my work!

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #emily prentiss x reader #ssa emily prentiss #emily prentiss #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x you #criminal minds emily prentiss #criminal minds fluff #emily prentiss fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fic #cm fic

[dovabunny]

Angsty Ghostsoap Idea of the day - Here all along

Soap met Simon when the man was on leave. Beautiful, mysterious Simon had walked past Soap's coffee shop a few times, before he mustered the courage to come in.

Meanwhile, thinking the huge man must've been stalking or creeping on one of his pretty female clients, Soap had stomped out to confront the man- only for the man to awkwardly apologize and ask him to dinner. The twist gave Soap such whiplash he...

... said without realizing what was happening.

For three blissful years Simon would come home to him every chance he got, sometimes even just for 3 days between missions.

He told him things he legally was not allowed to, but Soap was his 'home' - a place where he was just Simon, not Ghost or a soldier or a killer or a victim. A man who loved with his whole heart and wanted no secrets between them. Something neither of them had ever had.

They cooked together, Simon talked him into getting a dog named Riley, they made future plans and talked about him retiring.

Then Simon comes home from a bad mission. He was put on medical leave for wounds that were not all physical but refused to talk about what had happened- what had rattled him so. He wasn't himself - cold, blunt, quick to anger, and distant in a way Soap's never seen him in their years together.

Then Simon finds the rings Soap had been hiding.

Simon had been impatiently digging through his art supplies looking for tape when he found the box.

When Soap came home from work it was to Simon sitting in the dark, the box on the table.

His home had never felt as cold as when Simon's voice demanded "what's this."

Soap fucked up, but he wasn't even sure how. He stuttered something about where did he find it when he noticed there was a pile of his sketches too - torn out of his journals, clearly not too gently. All the ones of Simon's face.

"You KNOW why I can't show my face! You KNOW how I feel about this! I refuse to take photos with you so you do this???" He tosses the sketches across the table.

"They're all I have of you when you're gone so long! I didn't-"

"And the rings!? You ALSO know how my parents' marriage went so why the fuck did you think I'd want that? Or did that just not matter either?"

Soap stares, the tension that had been on Simon's shoulders since he arrived a few days ago now turned on him. Soap swallows hard. He had never for even a second felt scared of Soap. But he saw it now... Saw 'Ghost' overtake Simon.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'll burn the sketches and get rid of the rings. I'm sorry, baby. Let's just forget this?" He tries to step forward.

"This was a mistake..." Simon whispers and it feels like a knife to the gut.

"...Si, love, what are you?"

"I said this was a mistake."

Simon gets to his feet and it's then that Soap spots the packed bag. Si throws it over his shoulder as he makes for the door.

"Simon, no! Baby, please - I'm sorry! Please, don't leave like this!" He reaches for him but Si shrugs him off and doesn't slow down.

His world collapses as the door closes behind the man he had given his heart, soul, and future to.

Simon doesn't return his calls or texts. Texts apologizing, begging, texts angry and hurt, texts reminding him he's loved and he has a home here whenever he's ready.

Then the number is disconnected.

Then he gets a letter in the mail that ends with "Our deepest condolences" and a pair of dog tags.

Five years later. Soap has tried to move on, but just couldn't. He still has the rings. Wishes he kept at least one sketch. His shop does well, Riley is getting old, and so is Soap. He keeps busy, and sketches less. Even after all this time when he puts pencil to paper his hand wants to draw Simon.

Then torn, crumpled pages on the floor with boot prints on them flash in his mind and he puts the pencil back down.

This morning he sat in his little kitchen and pages through the local paper when he feels his blood run cold.

Last week's festival was the highlight of the moment, the newspaper covered in photos taken at the event. But in the background of one looms a painfully familiar figure.

Soap grabs his phone and rings the paper. "Photo three, page two- at the fountain - when was that taken?!" The journalist is baffled - all of them last week.

That can't be. It can't be! But he knows that figure, those shoulders, those curls. he's in the shadows but outlined, angled towards where Soap's little trailer stand was.

Soap pulls the dog tags out of his shirt - always around his neck all this time. Is Simon.. alive?

And...near?

Soap looks at the shadows all the way to work, peeking around all day to try to spot a man that shouldn't be there - convincing himself he isn't crazy.

At closing time he had enough. He prints a page and sticks it to the door when he locks up.

"Si, if you're reading this grow a pair and come home."

Later that night there's a knock at the door. A familiar tall man, new scars and silver creeping into blind curls, but just as beautiful as he remembers. Unsteady hands hold a bouquet of his favorite flowers.

"Is this still home?" He asks

"Ours. Always." Soap smiles through the tears.

#simon had a bad mission and had to relive some bad memories #the only way he could get out of the military was Laswell and price letting 'ghost' die so Simon couls retire #but a day hadn't passed that he didnt regret leaving Soap like that #but he still hated himself for dragging soap into his twisted life and putting him at risk just for loving a dangerous man like ghost #he was planning to just lurk and watch over soap #soapghost #ghostsoap #johnny soap mactavish #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish

[msanonymous]

I only bake when I'm happy, a little terrified at the idea of messing things up if I did it, otherwise. Maybe this explains why I haven't touched my baking appliances in months. But I had a happy dream a few days ago, in which me and mother were baking together, just like old times, and when I woke up I felt like I was 5 again, and my kitchen looked the same as it did 12 years ago.

There's this beautiful teal dress hanging in my almirah that I've saved for some special occasions. But now that I think about it, there are no occasions that are special enough to make me happy, they just cause anxiety.

I haven't gone on walks in weeks, because the sky is always gray these days and the sun has not shone in weeks, and I'm afraid that the not-so pleasant weather wouldn't help the weather in my heart, the way streets in the spring used to.

I want to learn photography some day, properly. So that whenever the next time I see someone I love happy, or anyone per se, I could capture them in photographs, perfectly. I wish I could carry my camera all around the world and just click the shutter button at the perfect time. I wish the next time I see my friends laughing, my parents talking happily in the lawn while having tea, reunion hugs of strangers at the airports, someone feeding a stray cat with the biggest and genuine smile on their face, an old couple in the park talking slowly about their past which was filled with happy moments, I could freeze all those moments in photographes just so I could revisit those memories, when I'm wide awake at 3am, with my numb heart.

I wish I could have those happy, lively photographes of those lovely humans to stare at, instead of my plain white ceiling. And those nights I'd tell myself “It doesn't matter if happiness is not with me, it's fine as long as it's with people I love, it's fine by me, as long as I know it exists in some corners of this Earth. Maybe I just need to visit those corners some day and until then I'll survive by seeing those people living. Happily.”

But the clock on my desk is ticking, fast. And I don't know how much more time I have here. And I don't want that dream to come true. In which I was about to take my last breath, and I saw happiness standing in the doorway with her tear streaked face, and I asked her “Why didn't you ever come to me?” and she replied with her soft and tortured voice, “Why didn't you ever look for me?”

So maybe I should just say “Screw it.” and buy a camera anyway, who cares if those photos aren't professional enough? Who cares if they're all blurry because of my shaky hands? They'll still be filled with happiness, which would be enough to make my heart happy. Maybe I should wear that dress tomorrow, and my other favourite dress the day after tomorrow. So what if my house hasn't hosted a visitor in weeks, I should be ready, like in my favourite character's words “Dress as if you're gonna meet the love of your life today.” From tomorrow I'll dress as if I'm gonna meet happiness. I'll go on walks even if the sky is gray, maybe I'll see a tiny plant who's surviving the storms, blooming despite the rains. Sometimes a single flower is enough, right? More than enough I think. Maybe I should pluck up the courage to ask my mother to join me. The next time I bake, maybe I'll feel happy, the same way I did when I was 5. Maybe I have to stop waiting for happiness to come to me, I should go search for it instead. Maybe it'll eventually come to me, when I'll try doing those things.

And maybe on my last day here, I'll see her in my doorway, smiling, unlike that dream, and she'll bid me goodbye with tears of happiness, and everything will be good about that goodbye.

#dear diary dump

[otakuworks]

[ 13:18 ] — 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐀

You enjoyed gaming as much as your boyfriend does it as his job, but not to an extent that you'd pursue to create your own YT channel. Gaming is simply one of your hobbies to do whenever you have free time or to bond with your boyfriend.

Both of you agreed to let your relationship be a secret within the public press. It's not that you're both embarrassed to announce it in the world, Kenma likes it better to keep his relationship in private, but he's also not too keen in keeping in a secret.

Hence why you found yourself sitting beside your boyfriend as he readies his recording stuffs before you two begin.

"I didn't think our relationship would be revealed like this." You giggled just by recalling how he slipped his tongue and confessed that he actually has a partner.

You had been engrossed to a particular game lately.

And it highly reminds you of your boyfriend and his Nekoma team back in his high school days. Out of instinct, you recommended for him to play the game.

You didn't actually think he'd play it in his streams though.

With that, an accidental slip past his lips. You remembered it well.

"Now I know why my S/O is so obsessed with this game. It's really fun and addicting once you've gotten the rhythm."

Which leads the fans to demand Kenma to have in one of his upcoming videos to play with you.

His fans have been speculating many theories whether Kozume Kenma has a romantic partner or not. One video even trended saying Kenma is gay, and not ready to fess up his gender identity.

You sent that video to Kuroo, and he teased his best friend in literal months. At some point, he would even throw flirty comebacks as a joke that he'd be glad to be the so-called 'gay partner'

"Well, it's bound to be revealed anyway. I just hastened the process, plus the fans seem curious to know more about you."

An unknowing smile stretched out your lips, you knew his main reasons why he would prefer to keep you in the shadows— that is to avoid haters targeting you.

Kenma knew how sensitive you are when it comes to words, and the online community can be harsher than any storm.

He didn't want you to encounter some hateful comments just because you're dating him, some people just have so much free time that they can't give a reasonable excuse to hate a person, they'll mostly do it either they're jealous or insecure for themselves

He talked to you last night, wants to confirm multiple times if you'd be comfortable in presenting yourself for the first time in his world.

A few hesitation on your part before you eventually agreed to it, you've seen how the fans are always sweet and supportive to whatever Kenma does.

You even read one comment saying 'Kenma's future S/O would be so lucky to have him T-T. Wish it would be me but whoever they may be, I'd be cheering for them both ^_^'

It gave you courage to proudly claim your title as Kenma's S/O in the world.

As the clock ticks by, your self-encouraging speech on your head quickly went downhill and you felt yourself regretting this idea.

Kenma seemed to be more alert to your behavior and held your hand in his, "Hey. . . you can always back out if you think you're not ready. The fans didn't exactly give a deadline" He halfheartedly jest

"True, but I want to show your fans how I will totally beat your ass."

He slightly grinned at the challenge. Relieved and proud that you're stepping out of your comfort zone, "Ready when you are."

He patiently waited for your approval to turn on the stream, once you did. YouTuber Kenma mode activated, but despite that he never once let go of your hand underneath the table.

How he's playing with one hand? It became one of the unsolved mysteries.

You didn't seem to care how he's nailing the gameplay with one hand, but you do know how to beat the game in one play through.

"Wait, no! Go back, idiot! There are many zurks down there! WAHH!" You were so focused on helping your boyfriend win that you didn't realized how many compliments you're receiving in the comments, Kenma did.

'HAHHAA! Y/N's reactions are the best! Memes are on the way.'

'Idiot? HAHHAHAHHAHA GO TELL HIM Y/N! '

'Y/N looks so gorgeous😍 AHH! I'm now an official simp for them than Kenma, still luv him but...'

'Them whooping Kenma's ass is the best thing to ever happen🤣'

'Yooooo! What will be the official ship name for them????'

'Kenma isn't even playing, he's just staring at Y/N at this point. Guess someone is on the lead in the Y/N supremacy.'

'I used to think anyone would be lucky to have Kenma as boyfriend, but now I think both of them are lucky.'

Unbeknownst to you, some fans out there are already making an official fanpage about you and Kenma.

Your boyfriend did a good job distracting you from the initial nervousness, and you were more than glad to indulge his world.

The next day as you were scrolling through your phone, many trending hashtags about you and Kenma came flooding your feed. You read a few them that contains mostly of positive comments from the fans.

What caught your attention is that one article saying;

"Famous YouTuber Kodzuken turns out to be straight, Gay Theory has been proven wrong/correct."

A/N: If you guys don't know, the game being insinuated here is actually called 'Stray'

#kenma #anime #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #kenma x reader #kozume kenma #drabble #fluff

[jakeyzzz]

♡ I think I'd die for you ♡

🍁 angst/fluff 🍁 sim jaeyun x f!reader headcanon

⚠️🍁 warnings - swearing, yelling, crying, friends with benefits trope, angst, kissing, making out, hugging, jake being SO in love, confessions, so much fluff, jake with wet hair 🤭 ⚠️🍁

🌸 lmk if I missed anything!! 🌸

english is NOT my first language so please be nice !! ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱

☀️ 935 words ☀️

,,Y/N please just open the fucking Door I'm sorry okay ?!" Jake shouted from the outside of your House as he banged on the door over and over again . You and Jake got into a pretty heated argument a few days ago which made you stop talking. Jake started regretting every single Word he said to you and eventually came to your house so he could apologize. But you didn't let him. He really hurt you with his words. But he didn't give up, even though he was drenched in water since it was raining pretty heavily. Your relationship with Jake has always been super complicated. You weren't dating, but you most definitely weren't only friends either. He was your first in everything. Your first Kiss, Your first Time, Your first best Friend , Your first Crush. But you never had the courage to talk about your Feelings. And you never planned on talking about your feelings. Especially not after that Argument. But there you are sitting in your living room, listening to Jake literally yelling in front of your door. You could hear that he is crying, but so were you. You were both hurt. And you both missed each other like crazy. ,,Y/N please...I'm so sorry. I know you can hear me. I didn't mean to hurt you please let me talk to you" He said, crying even harder than before. After some Moments of thinking, you finally got up from your couch to open the door. Your eyes immediately met with Jake's puffy ones. You couldn't help but softly smile at him.

,,Y/N..." He whispered before quickly pulling you into a hug. His clothes were completely wet due the Rain... but you let him hug you. ,,I'm so sorry I promise ! I didn't mean what I said to you" He said quietly. You looked at him and softly took his Hand before you led him to your bedroom. ,,Please sit down and wait here for a few Minutes...I'll get you some dry clothes" You said. But before you could leave,he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. ,,Can we please talk first ?" Jake asked you. You nodded your head, and eventually sat down on your bed next to him. Jake tried to smile at you. He felt really bad. ,,Listen...I never meant to hurt you. I wish I could explain how much you mean to me. You make me feel Things i've never felt before and I don't even know what made me say those Things. You deserve better. I guess I'm just scared of you know...getting hurt ? And fuck i really hate talking about my feelings but...I think i fell in love with you Y/N. The last few days without you were so hard for me and I really hope I didn't fuck up...and I hope you'll forgive me. I would love to spend every single day of my life with you. But I promise it's okay If you don't feel the same way... everything is fine as long as you're still in my life. " Jake said with tears rolling down his rosy cheeks. Well damn. You could see how scared Jake was. He was so scared of your reaction. And you didn't even know what to say. You just somehow ended up staring at Jake's puffy Lips. You missed them so much. You missed the way they felt , and the way Jake smiled into the Kiss when you softly stroked his Cheek with your thumb. How couldn't you just notice how deeply in love he was ?? . The way he touched you said more than a million words ever could. And whenever Jake couldn't see you, he called you and asked you about your day. He would always give you Roses, He comforted you when you felt sad, And he would always make sure to take care of you. He was always there for you. ,,Jake i..." You tried to form a sentence...but for some reason you couldn't. So you decided to show him what you felt instead. You grabbed his Face and immediately pulled him into the most passionate Kiss. Jake pulled you onto his Lap as your Fingers got tangled in his wet locks. The way Jake softly caressed your waist while he deepened the Kiss drove you crazy. You guys shared a lot of Kisses before, but this one felt special. You could feel Jake's Love...and you're pretty sure Jake knows about your Feelings for him too by now. Jake softly broke the Kiss. ,,I need you to be my girl so badly" Jake whispered against your Lips. You softly smiled. ,,I'll be yours If you kiss me again" you said. Jake didn't waste one second and pulled you back in to give you another deep kiss. Jake felt you smiling against his Lips,which made him giggle. ,,I think I'd die for you" He said, staring into your eyes. You caressed his cheeks. He loved when you did that. ,,Well I think I love you" You answered. ,,I know I love you" Jake said, smiling at you before pressing a soft kiss on your Forehead. This Moment felt so right. You suddenly started smirking. Jake knew, that you were about to say something that will ruin the Moment. ,, I can't believe you're on my bed with your wet ass clothes with me on your lap" You joked, which made Jake laugh pretty hard. He carefully kissed the Tip of your Nose before trying to get up. And that's how your relationship as an actual couple started. ♡

#enhypen fluff #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen headcanons #sim jaeyun #enhypen jake fluff #jake hard hours #enhypen jake imagines #headcanon #enhypen angst #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enhypen drabbles #enhypen oneshots #enhypen soft hours #enhypenfluff #enhypen jake hard hours #drabbles #fluff #angst #enhypen x you #enhypen x reader #enhypen crack #jake x reader #jake x you #enhypen scenario

[chiveburger]

this last week leading up the chinese new years has been such a crazy whirlwind of emotions... I made a post maybe on tuesday? saying that I was starting to feel very burnt out at work and I went into that day dreading every second. I got to work and I started crying, and mind you I've been in some abusive workplaces and I have never once cried at work. anytime someone asked me if I was okay, I couldn't control my emotions and I started sobbing. It was so hard, and I came to the conclusion that I'm really struggling to work with my manager. especially in regards to her micromanaging, and inserting herself into tasks that the staff are doing, and creating this suffocating energy whenever I work with her.

I've never once felt that out of control so come wednesday I told her I had to speak with her one to one. I sat down with her, and basically cleared the air about how her management style is killing me. how it's making me doubtful of my own work, and how there are things I want to be changed not even just about her but about how our company is ran... I know this seems real self destructive to some people but holy shit I am so glad 1) I had the guts to put myself in this vulnerable position and 2) was able to hold it together during the entire conversation. my intention going into that meeting wasn't to hurt her feelings, it wasn't to break her spirit and I am not and cannot expect her to change her personality and work ethics overnight. I don't want her to stop working here because of this, but I know if I want to continue working here (and for the meantime I do) I can't sweep this under the carpet and suffer and bottle everything up until I experience another panic attack in public.

ever since that talk, which was only a couple days ago, the following days where we have to work together has been yes, a little awkward, but I can feel her putting in the effort not to overstep my boundaries. she doesn't interrupt me, she doesn't have input on how I interact with patients and with regular office duties. which I really appreciate and shows me that this is a sign of them giving a shit about my feelings. everyone I talked to regarding this situation has been like "wow I could never have done that" and the fact of the matter is it's not just me. I'm not someone who likes being confrontational, and I'm not someone who always wishes to speak on my feelings. If I didn't care about my job, about my manager, and if I didn't feel like change could occur I wouldn't even consider talking to her. If I didn't feel comfortable to open up to her I wouldn't have. on my part it did take a lot of courage to do that but similarly, if the other side didn't reciprocate some form of energy that made me WANT to do it I would've just handed in my resignation.

long story short, I felt negative emotions so strong that I couldn't swallow them up any longer and they physically came out even before I realized I was in pain. I don't expect everything at work to be perfect or to have changed to my liking by tomorrow. what I am hoping is that there's a step in the direction of change and I'd like to think by acting on my feelings I've made my life better.

#borger diary

[rrxnjun]

(im really stupid but i hope u like this fanletter 😭)

hello <3 this is for my favourite writer on tumblr; to the the same writer who does not realise how much their works could mean to someone, the lovely @rrxnjun 🎀 !!!

so, i found your blog at the beginning ot this month– november, 2023, and now that the month's about to end, i have nearly finished reading all your nct works.

to me, this month is the most special one of this year. why? because i found your blog, your stories– some pieces of your mind. i found you through one of those nct fanfic recs, 'take the stairs - njm' being the first work i read from you. it was sweet, it made me happy. and then i read the other two parts of the 'simplify romance' series, which will always hold a special place in my heart.

this year has been the worst for me, with no one for me to lean on to, weird identify crisis shit, and losing myself in this tiring process of growing up. but you know what? you saved 2023 for me. when no one's words could speak to me, yours did. you make me feel a little less lonely.

im a silly teenager, who never read sad/mainly angsty stories before i found you because i was scared, i was confident i'd cry. and i did. i gathered the courage to read angst only because you'd written it, and it was so worth it. ive stayed up so many nights this month just to read your works in peace and privacy, hidden from my family, and then spend the days thinking about how you literally create art, and telling my bestfriends about it. you are blessed. you are phenomenal. no amount of thank yous or i love yous could be enough for me to express my gratitude. you've made me feel so at peace with my thoughts sometimes and you've made me feel like i'm not alone. you have magic in your hands. i owe you so much, i wish i could gift you something, but sadly im still a minor and theres a few years until i finish uni and then get a job, and then i promise i'll get you something, because i am so lucky to be able to read your stories for free. you deserve so much more than followers, likes and reblogs. each one of your fics have made me tear up and all of them are too special for me.

this month ive read all of your nct dream '00 line fics, and my favourite was 'happier than ever' which i finished a week ago— AND I SWEAR THAT FIC DESTROYED ME 😭😭😭 it had me bawling my eyes out for two hours on a school night i love it so so fucking much, i literally think about it daily and i told all my friends about it and im so in love with it, please tell me, for my inner peace that renjun and the reader ended up getting together and being fine because im gonna cry over it for the rest of my life IDC IF THEY DIDNT END UP TOGETHER please lie to me and tell me they did 💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

i want you to know, and to remember this whenever you feel even a little like giving up— you have magic, bar, don't ever let go of that magic.

your stories make me want to heal and to help everyone heal. to be loved and to love everyone. to be cared for and care for everyone. your magic helps me survive my days with a little smile. thank you so much for everything you've done for me, without realising you're helping me live.

every single word i wrote here– i swear on everything i have, i genuinely mean it. you are the best thing that happened this year :) i hope that one day someone will love you as much as i love your blog.

(me when i talk about your work)

P.S. permission to take a screenshot of your blog and paste it to my scrapbook by which i can remember my teenage years that your stories mended, please?

thank you for reading, ily ❤️

- your biggest fan (hopefully no one's more dedicated!!) 💘

when i saw this in my inbox i got so emotional i couldnt reply immidiately because i genuinely wanted to sob. this is so so sweet and it mustve taken a long time to type out and i appreciate you a WHOLE lot, not only for this, but also for supporting me sm over the last month. :,)

take the stairs is a very sweet and fun fic and i am glad you found my blog through this one, haha. the simplify romance series holds my favorite fics and i PROMISE to finish jeno's entry at the beginning of the next year!! it HAS to be done. it means a lot to me that you took the time of your day to read my works and that you enjoyed them so much to let me know.

i am happy to hear that my work could help you through some hard times. as a reader on this platform as well, i do know that feeling very well and i could never imagine being that person to someone, but i am glad my words could be there for you when no one else could. hearing this makes all the effort feel worth it, and it's something i'll think of whenever im having a hard time with my work again. i also hope life is nicer to you in the future, and if you ever need someone, my inbox is always open.

having my fics be called art is something i never imagined could happen. it's beyond what i think about my work, but i am honored to hear this compliment, truly. despite being a writer i cant find the words to express my gratitude towards you and your supportive words right now >:( it does mean the whole entire world to me. please do NOT worry about "paying me back" or something, i do this because it's what i love doing and sharing my work with others makes me happy, so an ask like this is more than enough for me. you made me feel really appreciated and i will remember and treasure your kind words forever.

happier than ever is definitely a heavier read, since it's partly from personal experience, hh. i tend to project on renjun a lot so take this as a warning for my other renjun fics LMAO. TT this fic has a special place in my heart and hearing you talk so highly about it makes me all warm on the inside hhhhh my love langugage is words of affirmation stop this or ill cry. i enjoy leaving my fics open-ended to interpretation of the reader, so whatever you feels fits their story is how the story ends for you. <3

i will definitely use this ask as a reminder to not give up when i feel like doing so. it really brought me a lot of strength :) thank you for calling my writing magic. i never imagined someone describing it that way, but it does feel good to hear haha

knowing that my work helped somebody and made them heal and feel all sorts of emotions inside makes me feel at peace. thank you so much. SO much.

also u really make me want to bawl with that scrapbook comment. cant believe im an important part of someone's teenage years :((

once again, words cant express how much this means to me. thank you and i hope my fics continue to be a source of good things for you :) i will think of this often. ily

#💌ask #feedback !! #<3

[giolovesyousm]

okay so I just discovered that chat gpt can write fanfiction...and for science I had to try, this is what it came up with

Comfort and angst.

Neil and Todd had always been close, even since their days at Welton Academy. As they grew older and went off to separate colleges, they still kept in touch, texting and calling each other frequently. But lately, something had changed between them. Neil couldn't quite put his finger on it, but whenever he talked to Todd, he felt a strange mix of comfort and angst.

One night, as they were catching up over the phone, Neil finally mustered up the courage to ask Todd about it.

"Todd, I don't know how to say this, but...I feel like something's different between us. Have you felt it too?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line before Todd finally spoke.

"I know what you mean, Neil. I've been feeling it too. It's like...I don't know, there's something we're both holding back."

Neil nodded, even though Todd couldn't see him. "Yeah, exactly. Like we're both afraid to say what's really on our minds."

Todd took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll start. Neil, I miss you. I know we talk all the time, but it's not the same as being able to see you in person, you know? And...I'm worried about you. You've been going through a tough time lately and I wish I could be there for you more."

Neil's heart swelled with emotion. He had been going through a rough patch, but he hadn't realized how much Todd cared until now.

"Todd, I miss you too. And...I'm scared. Scared of what the future holds, scared that I'll never be happy again. But talking to you always makes me feel better. You're my best friend, Todd. I don't know what I'd do without you."

There was a long pause before Todd spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. "Neil...there's something else I need to tell you."

Neil's heart raced as he waited for Todd to continue.

"I...I love you, Neil. More than just a friend. I don't know when it happened or why, but I can't stop thinking about you."

Neil was stunned. He had never considered that Todd might feel that way about him, but now that he heard the words, it all made sense. He had always felt a special connection to Todd, but he had never dared to hope that it was anything more.

"Todd...I don't know what to say. I never thought of you in that way before, but now that you've said it, I realize that maybe I do feel the same way. I've been so caught up in my own head that I didn't even realize what was right in front of me."

There was a long silence as they both processed what had just been said.

"Neil...do you think we could...try this? See where it goes?"

Neil felt a smile spread across his face. "Yes, Todd. I want to try. I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I want to be with you."

They talked for hours more that night, laughing and crying and sharing their hopes and fears. And as they hung up, both of them felt a sense of comfort and angst. Comfort in knowing that they had each other, and angst in knowing that they had taken a step into unknown territory. But they were both willing to take that risk, because they knew that their love for each other was worth it.

#the fact is #I didn't specify who todd and neil were #I just wrote 'write me a comfort/angst ff between todd and neil' #AND IT PLACED THEM IN WELTON #KWNDJWNSJ WHAT #dead poets society #dps fandom #neil perry #todd anderson #anderperry #anderperry fanfic #chat gpt

[thetinylittlespider]

GTWAC 15! LORE!!!!!!!!

BEFORE WE START! A LIL' DISCLAIMER!

Okay, so...Life got hard, not gonna lie. Phone is busted so that's another thing. And I don't think I'll ever finish #GTWAC before the month ends as I planned. (15 minutes as I'm typing this)

So, did I failed the speedrun I self-imposed myself with? Yes, Yes I did. And I'd like to end it with a self indulgent thingy. Besides, I will do some prompts from GTWAC at one point because I can fit them in my stories. Uvu

Did I had fun? Of frickin course I did! I've seen some new cool faces I wish to talk to one day (Whenever I get the courage and dont act like a coward, or if you want to hit my dms go ahead give me heart attack I would love to meet new friends quq)

And all in all, I liked to see how everyone joined these activities and had their own fun with it, thanks again to @entomolog-t for having this marvelous idea to give writers this month full of spotlights! and...Without further words from me....We go into some lore I guess!

Insert lore here: (From my main and only story atm)

KU-M9's inconvenient "skin condition.": He can not fluster like normal people do, and his "jumping spider" and "crab spider" genetics do something about it. When in a condition worth of fluster, his entire skin changes to a mess of random colors and pretty patterns, in an attempt of being attractive to the one he could feel love for, this ability of course...is yet to be seen, and completely involuntary.

The boy is carnivorous: As I have stated in one ask...The boy is designed for hunting and killing, his fangs are fully functional and he needs raw meat to survive and keep a sane mental state, no matter how much he refuses to it.

Caffeine is bad for him: An advance metabolism makes him immune to most shapes and forms of alcoholic beverages, but caffeine just shuts down most of his body and mental functions, getting him drunk! Even a few grains of the substance in a glass of water can cause severe impact on his body. Effects he rather forget the next morning.

World of Wonders: The world the story is being set in, is really...really small. Just the size of a big city with a small area of forest and limited sea. Surrounded by a shield of energy that prevents ANYONE from leaving or entering. In here, you can find to the most advanced technology to the weirdest of magic, is like every single living being here was pulled off from a different place. Is not always you can see a doctor with mechanical enhacements perform a ritual of healing and make it work thanks to a local benevolent spirit...yes, that stuff happens here! But dont be afraid! The great leader makes sure nobody doubts the status quo of things! UvU

#g/t #g/t writing #gt community #g/t ocs #gtwac #I have failed the G/t gods

[soullikethesea]

T session (long)

Man, T is really good. I'm really happy with how she showed up for me today.

On the way there I got super nervous and kind of dissociated. T noticed pretty quickly and she gave me some paper and pencils to draw a "feeling thermometer" if I wanted to. We ended up talking a bit about the tension, T said she could feel it in the air and as a pressure on her chest. I explained that I think my body knows that therapy is a place that's often very upsetting and so it kind of already gets upset beforehand and we talked about the window of tolerance a bit more.

Eventually I mentioned that it may help to talk about animals and that really did help a lot. I said that maybe I need to make a list of subjects like that again and T said that in those moments it's also hard for her to come up with subjects because she kind of gets sucked in with me.

When we got going, T asked for feedback. She asked about the reenactment I've been feeling and how it relates to her. I explained and I think there's still a lot to talk about in the future... she said she also is insecure about if therapy can continue next year (based on insurance) and that I can see that she's also getting a bit older. And she admitted that she hasn't had the same bandwidth lately as she usually has.

I noticed that I got a bit afraid from her saying those things and therefore shied away from discussing it further, though she did say that she will focus on the things she can control and that we are both doing the very best we can.

I shared the new list of goals for therapy I made last week. It has some goals about the relationship, such as gaining the ability to be comforted, and then also some wishes for coping skills and trauma work. T said that she recognized each goal as something that we're already working on somewhat and reiterated that she thinks we're on the right path.

When I came in I saw that she'd placed The Courage to Heal (a book) on the couch where I usually sit. It's a book that I mentioned to her and that she immediately bought... I have a feeling that this move of placing it on the couch was intentional, because she also mentioned two times that I make good book suggestions and that even her colleagues also find them useful. At some point in the past we had a rupture about this (I asked her to read a book and she said she wasn't sure she wanted to specialize in complex dissociation), so it means a lot to me that eventually she did. And it also means a lot that she seems to look at it differently now and seems to appreciate this side of me somehow.

Then I mentioned what happened last week with Fox and fox. I talked about the things I learned about fox and T said she thought it sounded really calvinistic and sadistic. She wondered out loud what the purpose could be of such a controlling and purposefully confusing part and she said that perhaps it is about not wanting to be a victim anymore and about thinking/realizing being unhelpful when you're stuck in an unescapable situation.

She asked me how I felt in my body and I very vaguely said that I felt "lines", which made T very curious. So then I drew a body and coloured what I felt (which is MUCH easier than trying to describe it). T said that it looked like what you would feel if you were in flight and tried to hide it.

We spoke more about containment and my associations around it and why it doesn't work. (The associations with trying to seem as normal as possible and "keeping it locked inside").

Eventually I also said that I found her invitation to message her very very confusing last week and asked her not to do that again. I'd rather have things be very clear.

I also asked if I could record sessions in the future, because I miss so much of what she says whenever I get triggered. She immediately said yes, but also seemed scared. So we spoke about that for a bit and she admitted she was scared, but also thinks it's a good idea.

She said the first step will be to listen to my body more in our sessions. She didn't say this explicitly, but I got the sense that we will work on making things a bit more gentle.

I'm still scared about insurance and all that, but also feel hopeful about working together.

[odash17]

Favourite Numbers :)

"Did you know that if you can't stop your stream of thought at night, you can just write them down and think about it in the morning? It puts your mind at ease and you can sleep faster that way," I told him while staring at my fingers.

I wanted to stop talking because I felt like I was embarrassing myself. I had no idea if he has finally noticed that I only did that whenever I got nervous. That I'd just find some weird psychological fact when I didn't wanna start fidgeting.

"Really? And you've tried it before? And it worked?" he queried, seeming extremely interested like he always was.

"Yeah, I have and yes, it does. It gives your mind the reassurance that you can have that thought later when you wake up," I explained and raised my eyes to his.

I liked how his interest and casual conversation with him made my nerves die down.

"Where do you write? Like a notepad or something?" He asked after a brief moment of silence.

"Anywhere really. But I mostly write them as notes on my phone," I stated and before I knew it, I was taking out my phone, unlocking it, pulling up the app and showing him what I meant.

"Fifty-two notes," he said with a tinge of shock in his voice.

"I clean them out every week. Those are since last Thursday," I mumbled but almost immediately regretted saying that.

" 'I think burgers are weird. Why do they have both cooked and raw ingredients? It should decide whether it's cooked food or not already'," I watched as a smile slowly spread across his face.

He was getting in my head (quite literally) but I didn't mind at all.

" 'Am I the only one who wakes up and goes back to bed until the clock hit exactly seven just to go back to sleep after grabbing a snack on Saturdays?' " he chuckled at that one then added, "no you're not."

" 'I think Jax is an amazing person. He's kind and generous and has a lot more things than I can't type out right now. I hope I one day gather enough courage to tell him that," he said nothing in response to what he read, and didn't spare me a glance.

He just tapped his way to the next note while trying to fight the smile that was undoubtedly forming on his face.

" 'Jax has the most intriguing smile I've ever come across. I'm not exactly sure what's so interesting about it. All I know is I hope to one day to kiss the lips that form that smile'," his voice got quieter as he went through the words.

His eyes finally met mine and I sucked in a slow and really quiet breath at the intensity of his eyes.

I'd pay a million bucks to know what he was thinking.

But I didn't have to.

"The feeling's mutual," he muttered.

I froze.

But melted then evaporated when he suddenly leaned forward and... granted my wish.

Note number thirty-two.

My new favourite number.

.

.

.

>•<

My first random. Hopefully, first of many.

Not sure if it's gonna be part of anything bigger.

If there's any similar work anywhere, it is by pure coincidence.

Please do not copy my work

And do enjoy 😉

#writers on tumblr #writers #my writing

[ericas-fate]

Hello! I’d like an LOTR (and The Hobbit) ship if that’s alright! 

I'd prefer a man, I'm an autistic girl whose style switches between very masculine and very feminine. I am very short (4' 10" / 147 cm) with glasses and long wavy brown hair. I love writing, sewing and making fabric collages, and I hope to turn that into a career someday. My first job was at a garden center and I love nature and aesthetically pretty things. I give really good advice and have been described as "wise beyond my years", though that basically means I can just wax poetic for hours. I also love food, it's my biggest comfort thing. I'm very excitable, bubbly and friendly and am utterly fascinated by interesting people. Surprisingly I have no trouble walking up to someone who interests me and politely introducing myself, though I'm not flirty at all, I just like knowing people. I have a lot of knowledge and am a walking trivia machine.

Sorry if this is too long, I hope you don't mind! I also wish you a good day/night and happiness! Take care, alright?

Lord of the Rings: Sam

He would be awestruck whenever he met you, because for Sam it was love at first sight. At first it started off with the simple things, like how you would keep your hair a certain way, the same glasses you would wear and the way you would present yourself with your garments. His heart would flutter every time he would see you out and about at The Shire, but he could hardly muster up the courage to approach you. Whenever, he realized how bubbly and friendly of a person you were he would feel very relaxed and comfortable around you. Sam would want to keep you close to him, and get to know you better. And soon after he would feel confident enough to even ask you on a date where the two of you could talk about all your interests and similarities on a peaceful walk around the beautiful gardens surrounding the town. He would be thrilled to hear that you have as much of a love for nature as him, and even better food. Once he realized how lucky he was to have found someone he could really see himself spending his life with, he would feel like the happiest hobbit there ever was.

The Hobbit: Thranduil

Right from the beginning he would take great interest in you. Thranduil would look forward to your conversations, because it wasn't everyday he would talk to as knowledgeable of a human as you were. Little by little he would begin to make it obvious that he liked you, but he would not want to admit it. But it was quite obvious, like how he would always come to your aid if someone would ever judge or underestimate you. Thranduil would be especially supportive towards you and everything you set your heart out for. He would love to hear about your dreams and would see if there was anything he could do to help you achieve them. As time went by, Thranduil eventually would confess his feelings for you, and ask you to stay in Mirkwood. He would be thrilled if you were to stay there with him, finally bringing a bit of comfort and fun back into the life of the woodland once again. Thranduil would definitely make sure that everything you needed or wanted was there in Mirkwood to make sure it had felt like home.

I really hope you enjoyed reading them, thank you for requesting!!

#lotr #lotr ships #the hobbit ships #lord of the rings #the hobbit

[panapanapana]

Memory lane time. I'm really missing my dead relatives today and well, this is where I journal. So here's my favorite memories of each person. Anyone reading, feel free to chime in with favorite memories of your lost loved ones too.

Great Grandma: You told me that since I was more careful with the crayons than my cousins were that I deserved my own special box of nice ones. I still remember them. Sargent Art crayons, hidden carefully behind a framed picture in your living room. I still miss those crayons. I might go buy myself a box.

Grandpa: I loved how you'd spend quality time with me. We'd watch the cheerleading championships or women's figure skating or synchronized swimming and you could tell Grandma it was "Mandy's idea, really!" It was. I was just as Aggressively Lesbian as my daughter is. You'd get a little drunk and the instant we were alone together you'd tell me stories of your life that nobody else usually got to hear. How the metric system is superior but you can't admit it in America. How you would trade your chocolate rations to kids who could buy beer cheaper than you could during the war. You'd teach me to cuss in German and tell me how to make pipe bombs. I wish I'd had the self knowledge and courage to ask you to teach me to fix things. You'd always tell me I didn't need to know because someday I'd find a nice guy and if I could do more in the workshop than he could it would be bad for him. If I could go back I'd beg you to make me a Home Depot lesbian in your image.

Liz: You were so fucking brilliant. It consistently amazed me how you could just decide to learn something, hyperfocus, and be excellent at it. Thanks for our son. You'd really love the person he's become.

Grandma: You were so unintentionally hilarious in so many ways and I loved that about you. You rarely stepped foot in a church except to clean it for pay or to go to baptisms and funerals but it somehow incensed you that I was an atheist. And then one day we were all sitting in my aunt's bar and you were loudly and happily telling everyone that your workplace had gotten a new Nativity set and you'd convinced them to give you the old one. But was it for your own Christmas decorations? Nope! You'd used them as firewood. In fact, the baby Jesus in his manger was currently keeping happy hour nice and warm. You were so proud of your resourcefulness and didn't notice everyone looking at you in horror until I told you, "Grandma, I'm the atheist here and even I think that's sacrilegious."

Hannelore: You were the first of the litter I got to feel moving. You'd dance every time I ate cold leftover macaroni and cheese. And I'll never forget seeing at the last ultrasound before Doomsday how you and your sister were curled up like a little yin yang taking turns kicking each other in the face. When people mention the world changing forever on March 13, 2020 I think of you and the bad news at the anatomy scan before I think of the lockdown and the pandemic. And I think that's beautiful. You're bigger to me than the entire world, baby girl.

Mom: God, there's just too many things. The big, important stuff I always thought I'd miss the most, like you speaking up to say the things that needed to be said even when saying them was not in your best interest, isn't actually the things I find I miss the most. Because you instilled that in me. It's still here. I find that I miss the little things. My daughter asked this morning for bologna in her peanut butter sandwich while she watched Rainbow Brite and I know you'd have gotten a huge kick out of that because she looks and acts just like I did. But I can't just text you anymore. I miss that wherever you were, whenever we talked, it still always felt like home even though I lived over a thousand miles away from you.

#grief journal #memories #family