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groceryreceiptss · 6 months

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hii! could you do peeta melark x reader? just some domestic sunday morning cuddling :) thanks so much!

'cause it's gravity, keeping you with me

peeta mellark x reader | word count : 0.9k | requested

a/n : hii!! to be honest, i wasn't really sure on how to write this so i'm really sorry if this wasn't what you had in mind, but i tried my best, and i hope you'll enjoy reading it either way! :) thank you for the request < 33 (also yes, i know the picture i chose doesn’t quite match the theme of this fic but look at him!! and look at that golden light on his face!!!)

contains : baddd writing. fluff -> soft intimacy!! but a bit of angst too if you squint. you know, longings and a sense of vulnerability. feelings of hopelessness and despair in the past. let me know if there's more!

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the soft morning sun drifted its way to your face, resting its warm light against your closed eyes. you were just about to give yourself an excuse to sleep in a bit later before you subconsciously remembered that, today is a sunday. no business in waking up early then, you thought, as you pulled the blanket closer.

you shifted a bit and shuffled in closer to peeta’s body next to you. His breathing met at the same pace as yours and his heartbeat the same thrum as the one you had going.

peeta mellark. you knew it was silly to dwell on what could have and would have, but every day, each morning, as you woke up to his comforting presence next to you, you couldn’t help but wonder, what would your life have become, if he hadn’t been there to keep it going?

the war had destroyed everything, leaving trails of loss in its path, wider than the land itself. you didn’t know what you would have done, if you hadn’t seen him again. if he hadn’t come back to your life and reminded you that there were still reasons to live and try to heal for.

and every day you woke up feeling more grateful than the day before.

you didn’t know if an hour had passed, or had it been merely minutes later, when you felt peeta’s arms on your waist, pulling you back onto his chest, engulfing you in more of his warmth, his comfort. his head nested on the crook of your neck, his messy golden blonde hair on your cheek.

in response and out of habit, you brought your hands to his curls, smoothing them softly.

“y/n, sweetheart?” he muttered, and you could feel his lips on your shoulder, sending vibrations onto your skin and bone. it was crazy how he could still make your heart skipped a beat like it was the first time.

“hm?” you responded, still not ready to part with sleep too much to say anything else.

his lips lost touch with your skin and moved on to your ear, whispering, “turn around, look at me please.”

and so you slowly did. with your eyes still refusing to open, you felt his fingers playing with your hair, pulling them off your forehead.

“morning, sleepyhead.” he chuckled, and you could tell that he was playfully rolling his eyes. he kissed your temple slowly, and you let your eyes flutter open.

rubbing your eyes in an effort to erase the sleep out of them, you mumbled, “how are you already awake? it’s sunday.”

“old habits die hard,” he’d answered before you felt his hands on your wrists, stroking them softly with his thumbs.

you placed your arms around his chest, and as if on cue, he pulled you closer to him, earning him a soft sigh. “do you think it’s physically possible for us to get any closer?” he wondered aloud with a way too cute smile on his face.

still not entirely conscious, you muttered without thinking, “maybe once our bodies have withered into skeletons." oh, you caught yourself. “oh wait, that's dark.”

he let out a light laugh at your scrunched up eyebrows. “i love you.”

you looked up at him, into his deep beautiful blue eyes. his eyelashes are so long. “i love you too, peet.”

and you did, you really did. you told him that everyday, but you never did think it was enough. it was so dramatic to actually utter it, but you truly didn’t think there was enough variety in the english dictionary to fully capture this. this thing that passed between you and him.

as if hearing your quiet thoughts, maybe your eyes had displayed a moment of fragility in them, he responded saying, “i know, love, i know.”

the grip on your waist held on tighter, like it was scared if it faltered, then it would lose. you mirrored his gesture and snuggled your head further into his chest, the top of your head touching his chin.

“you want to get some breakfast?” he mumbled into your tousled hair.

you thought about it for a second, but then shook your head. you looked up at him, a wide smile etched onto your face. “no, i’m good here.”

you didn’t want to leave this yet, this sacred place. one where you could feel his signs of life all around you, one where you could shut the entire world all around you and its bleak reality and made it only consist of you and him. peeta mellark.

was it possible to fall further in love with the same person every time you heard his name in your head? was it possible to have the same name echoed through your head over and over like a promise?

you saw his lips formed into a bigger smile, his fingers played with the strands of your hair.

maybe you knew, maybe you didn’t, but all he could think about at this very moment was how he had gotten so lucky. to have you here beside him, letting him love you and and letting him show it to you. he looked at your face, with that big smile on it, eyes still bleary from sleep. you were so beautiful, my god.

he nodded, agreed. he didn’t want to leave too. if he could stay here forever, he would. it would be like having lived a lifetime itself, he thought. “yeah, me too." he said softly as he planted a kiss on your forehead.

#this is literally the first time i have ever posted any of my fics on... anything so sorry if it's bad <3 #thank you for reading!!#peeta mellark x reader #peeta mellark fluff #peeta mellark angst #peeta mellark #the hunger games #thg #my writing!#requested

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starrylevi · 8 months

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Levi who has an untitled album in his phone and it’s all pictures of you. Most are candids in which you’re caught off guard. He’s talented at taking pictures without you noticing. There’s a picture of you sleeping, another of you snuggled up against his chest, one of you belly laughing, and more. However, his favorites are the ones that are the most ordinary, the ones that you personally don’t think are all that special. In these pictures you’re doing the most mundane things like laundry, washing the dishes, watching television, engaging in your favorite hobby, etc. He thinks you look beautiful in all of them. He doesn’t believe there needs to be a reason for him to take these pictures. You simply existing is reason enough for him.

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polisena-art · 1 year

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I’m jumping in to submit a request! I love it when people draw one of the caballeros cooking. I think they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Personally I feel like Panchito is a dream in the kitchen. Part of me wants to make a joke about Donald burning water but he can probably at least make a good fucking sandwich. Zé…. Man I have no idea. He is a mystery to me.

I ended up rambling about headcanons OTL but! I’d love to see you draw a cab of your choice cooking or something like that!

OK SO,, Zé has been shown cooking in his comics and apparently he's pretty decent at it (his nephews do like his food) but, as everything in those comics, it all depends if it's gonna be relevant to the plot.

José might not be a chef but I'm sure he can make the Brazilian classics like rice and beans, strogonoff (the Brazilian remix), pasta with sausages, farofa de ovo, canja, bake a cake AND OF COURSE he can work a grill for churrasquinho of whatever mystery meat he can put his hands on. He doesn't do much cooking because it's "ARGH... work", but for his nephews and when it comes to showing his friends what Rio's cuisine is like, he will do it. Also, I think if he's feeling truly inspired and has people helping him, he can make a traditional feijoada, just... don't criticize it. like, EVER.

Traditional Feijoada is supposed to be rich, it's not supposed to be spicy/hot!

#the three caballeros #donald duck #panchito pistoles #josé carioca #ducktales #duckverse #requests #I think Panchito's pepper obsession would get on José's nerve at some point but only if it's abt his cooking #“YOU'RE NOT TASTING ANYTHING I DID !! STOP PUTTING HOT SAUCE ON EVERYTHING”#Brazilians are very protective of their cooking and extremely passive agressive you have no idea #you sly dog you got me monologuing #polisenaart #brartist #brazilian artists #ask #zerotwo

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do-you-know-this-queer-character · 3 months

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Do you know this queer character?

Jon is Biromantic and Asexual, and uses He/Him pronouns!

Art by @ wellotwig on X

#Listen I dont usually use fan art and for other TMA characters I won't but I have such a specific image of how this man looks in my head #I didn't see anything on the twitter profile saying not to repost w/ credit but if it's requested I change it I will!!#also yall can stop submitting him now I got him 9 times lmao #jonathan sims #tma #the magnus archives #tumblr polls #fandom polls #poll #biromantic #asexual #he/him #podcast #lgbtqia #do you know this queer character #edit: removed the part about other pronouns. yes I know about the they/them pronouns in the writeups but I've been told it isn' t canon!#finished

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iztea · 3 months

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Went through your Twitter and saw some portraits, assuming you did more could you probably share them?

portraits........ well the ones you've seen on twt are the only ones i've done cause that's where all my art is here are a few i still like

#not sure what classifies as a portrait but #again everything is on my archive acc #idk if i understood your request all my 'portraits' are on twt i don't have anything extra #scrolling through my old art just to find them is painful enough so YOU do it #ask iztea

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anonymouscheeses · 1 month

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why does Vaggie take Drugs?

Ooof... this is a doozy! Get ready for depressed Vaggie/Valerie! CHAGGIE HUMAN AU LES GO

(Tw: massive talk about drugs n smokin! Like- its literally the main focus 😭)

Valerie used to smoke just to fit in with her friends Adam and Lute, plus the "exterminators" (which I will get into I think next request eheheh 😈). But now that they had a fall out with eachother, she relies on them heavily for other means. She has grown to use them for her anxiety(which, yes, she does have anxiety. It's hell, me and her are twins), although she has become SUPER reliant on them that she goes to any means to get them. Like going to the secret drug dealer that is Anthony(Angel Dust by most). Since he's pretty much everywhere and nowhere at all times, it's like if she wants drugs he is immediately there. It's creepy but it gets the job done I guess.. 😭

(He 100% cares and worries about her. Like, he loves when they talk and tease eachother, they have like a little sibling thing going on and he genuinely thinks of her like a little sister. Maybe cos his sister is dead but like let's move on from that right 😍)

Charlie HATES drugs. Not even hates, she DESPISES them. She tries to get Valerie to stop, but to no avail of course. Despite their differences, Charlie attempts to fit in with her.

It obviously goes to crap. Girl CANNOT and WILL NOT use that "devils dandruff" 😔🙏

(Wym girly- ignore the first image 😍 I just want to go for a peaceful vibe in their "friend" ship. Like they go to the mall, go get ice cream, get in trouble even if Charlie doesn't want to. They are goals fr fr I think im gonna draw them doing random stuff. WHICH REMINDS ME! IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM GO TO A PLACE PLSS REQUEST! I WANT TO SBB I WILL ANYWAY BUT LIKE- ANYTHING SPECIFIC IDC <3)

What DOES she not understand? Sure Valerie is at a rough time where she feels she has to rely on a substance to keep sane. But.... Charlie doesn't know that. She just simply doesn't know how to understand a person's feelings. Let alone her own.

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shevr · 1 year

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What if StarTrix dressed up like the blues brothers?

im sorry to not honor your request , it has parasited my brain with the thought of Trixie in that I think you should leave skit instead

#it's just me winona i'm not the blues brothers #OBSCURE thing to see if you haven't seen that sketch probably #i wish i could share it but it's not one ofthe ones on youtube aaaaahhh #at 4:20 of season 2 episode 4 if you have netflix or other means and wanna check it out #oh also im not particularly open to requests or anything in general to be clear #this just caused something due to a chain of reactions #shevr #my lines #mlp

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sadbeautifulttragic · 11 months

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requested by anonymous

lover & midnights lock screens (like/reblog if you save 💜)

#Taylor swift #taylorswift #tswiftedit #my edits #requests #lockscreens #lover era #midnights era #the eras tour #eras tour #if you want anything changed just lmk!!!#I did one of each lover bodysuit so you have options lol

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ahkylous · 3 months

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I forgot I was gonna post this but here’s somewhat of a continuation of this. Don’t worry guys, they’re ok

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wishingly-mesh · 6 months

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Omg draw Smoke's reaction when Syzoth first says "I love you" (also i love your art so much!!

my arm ended up dying halfway through this I’m so sorry RAAAAGH!!!!

I may revisit this one for funsies hehe but I hope this is sufficient for now :)) some parts of this are wonky I apologize, but I had fun soooo :]

(I might slow down, I don’t wanna overflow the symas or Tomas Verbada tags with my half finished art haha)

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galaxiesovertrees · 7 days

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aventurine‘s eidolon names and possible references/symbolism they include :

( eidolon names include links to corresponding wikipedia pages. it isn’t the best source but it explains these concepts more in detail than I did ! )

e1 - prinsoner‘s dilemma - a thought experiment in which 2 parties, the titular prisoners, must both make the choice of either trusting the other and not betraying them for mutual benefit or choose not to trust the other and betray them for individual benefit

e2 - bounded rationality - a decision making process defined by trying to achieve something that is just good enough, rather than something wholly satisfactory

e3 - droprate maxing - I couldn’t find a definitive reference to anything here, it might just be a nod to aventurine‘s luck or something along those lines

e4 - unexpected hanging paradox - a paradox wherein a person is told that an event will occur in the future but isn’t told the time of said event. this could be a reference to the role aventurine plays in the penacony tbq and his views on the inevitability of his own death

e5 - ambiguity aversion - ambiguity aversion is the tendency to prefer the known over the unknown. notably, taking known risks over unknown ones. this is most likely a nod to how aventurine is known as a risk taker and could shed insight on how he chooses the risks he takes

e6 - stag hunt game - the stag hunt game is similar to the prisoner‘s dilemma idea. two hunters can either catch one hare individually or catch a stag if they work together. the hare hunt offers less risk and need for trust while the stag hunt offers more reward

#please let me know if there’s anything I forgot !#or if you have any criticism !#I mostly compiled these for fun and because I got curious #if there’s any requests I might do more characters ! :]#//#textpost //#theory //#( kind of )#fandom //#hsr //#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr aventurine #aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #kakavasha

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shokupanko · 2 months

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It’s not Monday but it’s certainly Mayu Monday for me! This is my only artwork for March so I’ll see you all again in April or soon after! （⌒▽⌒ゞ

Pantyhose: I actually went back then forth trying to decide between bare legs and pantyhose but I ultimately decided pantyhose was the way to go. The pantyhose are meant to match the corset except no leather and comfort of course. It has lace details and a leather belt on her left leg. The lace stops around her ankles.

Hair: to stay within steampunk territory, I decided to make her hair fluffy, swirly, and lots of curl heart shapes. I don’t like to use one range of colors so I made the choice to go with my heart and make it extra colorful! (Although Mayu’s hair always proves to be a challenge (∩︵∩)

Makeup: I tried to make her extra girly- sorta 40s makeup vibe. So red lipstick and pink blush. I also tried to make her details more rounded to give a softer appearance :D

Shoes: it was my try of Mary Jane’s inspired shoes so please remember they are NOT accurate. She has small legs warmers over the shoes and tied off with pink bows, a short heel, and golden beads to go around the rim.

Gloves: blacks gloves with the tips of her thumb, middle, and ring fingers revealed, and well as leather and golden beads to go around and lace at the bottoms.

Dress: sheesh I’ll try to explain as well and possible… the dress comes with a color, ruffles, folds, and lots of lace for the underskirt. She has two belts below the sleeves to emphasize the ruffles. The dress also comes with a front tying corset that I took extra care to seem functional. The corset comes with lace, leather, and POCKETS! Because every girly in a dress needs pockets (she was originally gonna have a gun in her beta design shhh). The pockets are attached to the leather part of the corset in the back, and is also joined with golden beads? Buttons? Idk those things. She also has three rows of the golden beads on her skirt!

Hat: Her top hat is decorated in clocks, chains, and gears for a some steampunk effect, as well as a pink bow and pink bunny ears. Around the hat is black lace and under the hat is pink lace for some pop!

#vocaloid #art #fanart #vocaart #procreate #original design #mayu monday #steampunk #I know I don’t normally do extra text in my posts but I REALLY wanted to talk about this design because I poured my soul into it #I honestly tried to make it as cute and functional as possible #I also with think of Mayu as a more modest person so less skin showing just felt right #also I TRIED MOSTLY LINELESS ART WHAT DO YOU THINK???#oh I’m trying to make a fulll drawing and least once a month and now I don’t have any energy for anything else so that’s that #I really wanted to give Mayu a gun but I thought a doll look was better (I have regrets)#anyway #what do you guys think???#also yes I’ve seen the requests and I’m working on them!! just taking some time and brain meating #thank you for your reposts and support! I love you all ❤️❤️❤️#I see you everywhere justgoji

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ithinkthiswasabadidea · 3 months

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Tav and the Tadfools are definitely the most insane friends Dammon has ever made

rebranding myself as an artist who draws hot video game characters in slutty little crop tops 🫡

first drawing of three that I'll be doing of my favourite bg3 tieflings in the silliest tshirt quotes I could find on pinterest 🤭 Rolan and Zevlor pieces coming next!!

#dammon #bg3 dammon #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #bg3 #bg3 fanart #baldur's gate 3 fanart #art #digital art #digital illustration #my art #watchlist? more like. watch thesse tits.#sorry. its 4.30am i am tired #i havent drawn anything in two months phewwwww i was so worried about jumping back in #but dammon is like ?????? insanely easy to draw????? he's all angles i lov him #anyway i already have dumb tshirt quotes ready for the other two but if you see this and you have a request lmk #bg3 blogging

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sashimiyas · 6 months

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osamu has a soft spot for single mothers because they remind him of his own

#reinas.inretrograde #he’ll never say anything but when you go through your wallet and only order what your child requested and not your meal #he just hands you enough for the whole week. tells you to come back soon but never admits to the kindness #he incorporates children eat free days #there’s this whole romantic scene in my head where you say ‘i don’t need you’#and he goes ‘i know.’ and it’s not placating at all. he knows you don’t need him.#knows and understands that you’ve done more in your life than he’ll ever achieve #then he says ‘but i want you. i want to need you. and if you say the word and let me. i’ll do it. i’ll need to wake up to you in the morning #need you to tell me to have a good day and whoop my ass into shape. and i know you won’t need me. but you can want me to.’

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nebulouscoffee · 10 months

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The thing about Kai Winn's storyline ultimately being a tragedy is, it's not only a tragedy because her fate (in the eyes of the non-linear Prophets) was already known and nothing she did or said was ever going to make them acknowledge her- not only because she wanted so badly to have a big role to play in the grand, historic story of the newly independent Bajor and just couldn't handle the fact that she was never meant to- not only because the Prophets spoke to Sisko and Bareil and Kira and literally even Quark but not her- not only because she was deceived and raped and killed in the end- but most of all because, it was partly her love of Bajor that killed her.

Think about it- her whole regression during that final arc with Dukat is so tragic precisely because she was THIS close to redemption! Throughout the show, we see that her brain processes information in very rigid, binary ways: if you are not my ally, then you are my enemy. If you disagree with even one of my opinions, you are my enemy. If you refuse to endorse and support me in this mission, you are my enemy. That's part of why she's so easily swayed by fascist rhetoric, I think- she's just unable to cope with nuance. (This is foreshadowed in 'Shakaar', where she puts the whole of Bajor under martial law just because Shakaar disagreed with her over how she was handling soil reclamators.) Her personal narrative is I am the one who will save Bajor -> anyone who gets in my way is my enemy and therefore an enemy of Bajor -> I must stop them using any force necessary for the good of Bajor because I am after all the one who will save Bajor.

But when Sisko discovers the city of B'hala in 'Rapture', she is for the first time forced to accept the truth that he really hasn't been faking this whole "talks to the Prophets" thing- he's the real deal. We learn later on (when she tells "Anjohl" about how she honestly felt nothing the first time she saw the wormhole open) that a small, small part of her actually always doubted the existence of the Prophets. Now, she is faced with definitive proof that they are not only very real, but they also really do have a bond with Sisko. And for a while, she even comes to terms with this! In fact, at the end of the episode, she and Kira have possibly their first completely honest exchange:

KIRA: Maybe we're the ones who need to trust the Prophets. For all we know, this is part of their plan. Maybe they've told Captain Sisko everything they want him to know. WINN: Perhaps. I suppose you heard that Bajor will not join the Federation today. The Council of Ministers has voted to delay acceptance of Federation membership. KIRA: You must be very pleased. WINN: I wish I were. But things are not that simple. Not anymore. Before Captain Sisko found B'hala, my path was clear. I knew who my enemies were. But now? Now nothing is certain. KIRA: Makes life interesting, doesn't it?

Like, YASS babygirl- you too can learn to handle nuance!! I believe in you!!💪💪

And later on, at the onset of the Dominion War, she comes to Sisko for advice herself. She doesn't want to see her planet colonised again, and she's even willing to put aside her desire to be the main character to ensure it doesn't happen. Driven by pride and the need for power as she is, she is also driven by the desire save Bajor (and preferably be the one saving Bajor, which is the subsection of this desire that ultimately ends up being her downfall) - and she does briefly decide that cooperating with the Emissary is the best way to do this! I think about this scene from 'In The Cards' so much:

WINN: ... I have asked the Prophets to guide me, but they have not answered my prayers. I even consulted the Orb of Wisdom before coming here and it has told me nothing. So I come to you, Emissary. You have heard the voice of the Prophets. You were sent here to guide us through troubled times. Tell me what to do and I will do it. How can I save Bajor? SISKO: You want my advice? Then this is it. Stall. Tell Weyoun you have to consult with the Council of Ministers, or that you have to meditate on your response. Anything you want, but you have to stall for time. WINN: Time for what? SISKO: I don't know. But I do know the moment of crisis isn't here yet, and until that moment arrives we have to keep Bajor's options open. I'm aware that this is difficult for you, given our past, but this time you have to trust me. (Winn holds Sisko's left ear.) WINN: Very well, Emissary. We put ourselves in your hands. May we all walk with the Prophets.

In the earlier seasons, Winn would often casually make claims that the Prophets had "told her" something, or that she was just "doing what the Prophets asked"- and her political position as Kai always allowed her to just lie about being in contact with them all the time. Now, you can see the sheer humility- the embarrassment, even- on her face as she (for the first time) openly admits to Sisko that she has never actually heard them speak before; and that they clearly "prefer" him. Yes, there's some (understandable imo) bitterness here- but not at him, at THEM. And when she tries to read his pagh at the end- something she probably does to dozens of people every day, most of whom would unquestioningly believe anything she declares afterwards- she doesn't even try to pretend she felt anything there. It's one of her most genuine moments in the whole show, you can just SEE the redemption arc in reach and it's so heartbreaking!!

I think 'The Reckoning' is a huge episode for her too, for many reasons- but let's talk about how it sets up this fascinating parallel between her and Kira (who Odo describes in this episode as having "both faith and humility"). The Prophets choose Kira as their "vessel" because she was "willing"- meanwhile, Winn was right there just begging to be a part of this! Here she is, with a Prophet right in front of her face- and she prays and postures and begs and prays some more, all just to get ignored. Kira's brand of faith is very, "I am ultimately insignificant and I surrender my power and my body and pagh to the Prophets"- Winn's is more, "if I do all the right things, then I will be able to prove to the Prophets that I am worthy of their attention, worthier than everyone else, and maybe then they'll appoint me the saviour of Bajor! It's My Destiny, You See!! (Why Isn't This Happening For Me??)" And the events of this episode are kind of a big slap in the face to her honestly, because they sort of prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Prophets have no interest in her. Maybe stopping the battle was also an attempt at regaining some kind of agency with them- I DID THIS, I pulled a switch and it had a direct effect on the Prophets, so there!! (Whatever that effect entails). She does care about Bajor. Of course she does. But her ideal configuration of Bajor involves her being a major player in its salvation, which she was just never meant to be. And this is why she's so tragically susceptible to Dukat's manipulation- he was the first person ever to tell her everything she always wanted to hear.

And the intriguing thing about Dukat's deception is, it doesn't all fall apart at one go. It falls apart in layers. And this makes for some excellent, excellent Winn characterisation imo.

First, she thinks the pah wraiths are the Prophets- and they tell her, hey, The Sisko has faltered, Bajor needs you, and only you can fix this. Good lord, imagine finally getting to hear those words after a lifetime of silence! And it's very telling that her first reaction isn't to gloat like she would've in the earlier seasons, but instead to humbly- even anxiously- pray. Bajor needs her, the "Prophets" have asked her to do something, this is her moment! Then, this random lovely Bajoran farmer comes in and tells her even more things she has always wanted to hear- that her activism during the Occupation (ignored by Kira and Sisko alike) saved lives, that he always wondered why the Prophets would choose an alien as their Emissary, that surely Sisko and his followers were mistaken- and finally, "our world will be reborn- with YOU as its leader". Sounds good, right? But THEN she finds out she's been speaking to the pah wraiths and the lovely farmer is a devil worshipper actually. And she tries the "wash away my sins" approach- she wants some kind of quick fix ritual that will "purify" her, so she can continue to be Kai the right way. She even admits to Kira that she's always been power hungry and she wants to change- and I believe her! Unfortunately, Kira then tells her something she doesn't want to hear- that she has to step down as Kai. And surely that can't be, right? She's the saviour of Bajor! She's so complex... it's not simply her love of power that this scene reveals imo, but more significantly, her inability to see herself as not a vital part of Bajor's history; of this whole larger narrative. Like-

WINN: I'm a patient woman. But I have run out of patience. I will no longer serve gods who give me nothing in return. "GIVE ME"!! ADAMI MY BESTIE MY GIRL MY BUDDY THEREIN LIES THE PROBLEM!!!

So, okay, fine, now she's swayed over to the side that maybe the Prophets aren't that great, and maybe the pah wraiths are the true gods of Bajor (because they were willing to talk to her), and maybe she's okay working with the devil worshipper. But then it turns out he's DUKAT- and at this point, she's literally murdered someone, she's ready to stop this, to go back to Sisko and set things right- but then the book of the Kosst Amojan lights up because of the blood she spilled. She did that. It happened as a direct result of her actions. She's just so desperate to be acknowledged... to have a role to play in all this, no matter who offers it to her. So the pah wraiths actually giving her a reaction isn't something she can resist. And here's where things get even more tragic.

WINN: But the prophecies! They warn that the release of the Pah wraiths will mean the end of Bajor. DUKAT: The old Bajor, perhaps. But from its ashes a new Bajor will arise and the Restoration will begin. WINN: Who will be left to see it? DUKAT: Those the gods find worthy. It will be the dawn of paradise. And you, Adami, are destined to rule it. WINN: You're sure of that? DUKAT: It is meant to be.

Again with the ease at which she's swayed by fascist rhetoric! Let's be clear, she was (and is) absolutely against the Cardassian Occupation. But her worldview is built on the pursuit of being "worthier" than everyone else, of being "closer to god" than everyone else- her expectation of faith is that it's some sort of determiner of who's doing it The Most Effectively, rather than it being a practice- and she just completely misses that any sort of plan that executes masses and spares whoever is deemed "worthy" is... literally exactly what people like Dukat did to her planet. Something something faith as competition, faith as determiner of inherent superiority, faith as a way to gain power via proximity to god… never faith as submission. And the worst part is she’s self-aware. It’s heartbreaking.

And it's about to get even more heartbreaking, because she truly believes she has arrived at her girlboss moment in the finale (I think the tragedy of her being a rape victim and knowing this and having to hide the body of the one (1) person who was looking out for her while being stuck with her rapist speaks for itself.) After kicking Dukat out on the street (lol), she studies the eeevil texts and realises that to set the pah wraiths free, you need to make a sacrifice. So now she gets to deceive him in return. And she does! The look of shock on his face when he discovers she poisoned him is priceless imo, and her triumph as she taunts his dead body, the sheer joy on her face as she casts off her Kai robes, when she recites those incantations and something actually happens- and that too such a large pyrotechnic spectacle- is so sad knowing what's coming. Because ultimately, the pah wraiths want to destroy Bajor, right? And Winn just doesn't. Of course they don't choose her. Of course they choose Dukat over her! She really thought that by tricking and murdering him, she'd made him the unimportant piece of the puzzle, that she was stealing back his thunder- but tragically, it turns out even the pah wraiths see her as disposable. Of course they resurrect Dukat (a man who's proved time and time again that he wants to see Bajor & Bajorans destroyed) and turn her into the sacrifice. The way she screams "NO!" here breaks my heart- she's betrayed her planet, and it was all for nothing. (Dukat's "are you still here?" is particularly devastating.) I think it's very significant that her final words are "Emissary, the book!"- it shows that in her last moments, she's owning her mistakes- she's stepping away from power and putting Bajor first, and leaving her own fate in the hands of the Prophets. Who, of course, once again ignore her, and choose to save Sisko instead. God.

The utter tragedy that even in the pah wraiths' plan, she was just a pawn. That she died at the hands of the gods she thought chose her, but used her, all while the gods she'd coveted her whole life stood by and did nothing. The Prophets chose Sisko because they believed he would put Bajor's interests over even his own- and now they ensure he will be back one day to see the new Bajor. She never will.

Yes, it was her pride that got her here. Her mean streak. Her inability to cope with nuance. Her inability to see herself as ultimately insignificant. Her inability to surrender to a higher power in any way that didn't involve becoming more powerful herself; more relevant, more "close to god". But it was also her love of Bajor. Because if she'd cared about Bajor less, then maybe the pah wraiths might have chosen her- or at least spared her, or taken her to their realm after she burned, the way they did with Dukat. Now, she ends up being the one thing she never wanted to be: insignificant.

Honestly if I had to summarise the tragedy of her arc in one sentence, it would probably be Kai Winn: Too Evil For The Prophets, Not Evil Enough For The Pah Wraiths. She and Dukat are not the same! She is a perfectly pathetic, sad and wet blorbo and I am holding her gently in my hands while apologising for her crimes <3

#cw rape mention #ds9 #just to be clear: I did write this post after seeing the take #'the prophets never spoke to winn because even they found her insufferable & knew she didn't even care about bajor'#which I happened to disagree with (as I do w/ every take that claims she didn't care about Bajor or that she and dukat were 'equally evil')#BUT! this is absolutely not meant to be a callout post or anything #there is a lot of general misogyny in discussions about her and I have my issues with the way people make light of her trauma #but if you just don't happen to love her as a character that's totally fine! honestly the very last thing I want #is to make anyone reading this post feel bad (or for it to be used to hate on people who just like other fictional characters more)#so I kindly request that people not reblog this post with that sort of energy thank you <3 #(also I might turn off reblogs if I suddenly get shy lol)

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