#idea double data offer

[treasure-mimic]

So, let me try and put everything together here, because I really do think it needs to be talked about.

Today, Unity announced that it intends to apply a fee to use its software. Then it got worse.

For those not in the know, Unity is the most popular free to use video game development tool, offering a basic version for individuals who want to learn how to create games or create independently alongside paid versions for corporations or people who want more features. It's decent enough at this job, has issues but for the price point I can't complain, and is the idea entry point into creating in this medium, it's a very important piece of software.

But speaking of tools, the CEO is a massive one. When he was the COO of EA, he advocated for using, what out and out sounds like emotional manipulation to coerce players into microtransactions.

"A consumer gets engaged in a property, they might spend 10, 20, 30, 50 hours on the game and then when they're deep into the game they're well invested in it. We're not gouging, but we're charging and at that point in time the commitment can be pretty high."

He also called game developers who don't discuss monetization early in the planning stages of development, quote, "fucking idiots".

So that sets the stage for what might be one of the most bald-faced greediest moves I've seen from a corporation in a minute. Most at least have the sense of self-preservation to hide it.

A few hours ago, Unity posted this announcement on the official blog.

Effective January 1, 2024, we will introduce a new Unity Runtime Fee that’s based on game installs. We will also add cloud-based asset storage, Unity DevOps tools, and AI at runtime at no extra cost to Unity subscription plans this November. We are introducing a Unity Runtime Fee that is based upon each time a qualifying game is downloaded by an end user. We chose this because each time a game is downloaded, the Unity Runtime is also installed. Also we believe that an initial install-based fee allows creators to keep the ongoing financial gains from player engagement, unlike a revenue share.

Now there are a few red flags to note in this pitch immediately.

Unity is planning on charging a fee on all games which use its engine.

This is a flat fee per number of installs.

They are using an always online runtime function to determine whether a game is downloaded.

There is just so many things wrong with this that it's hard to know where to start, not helped by this FAQ which doubled down on a lot of the major issues people had.

I guess let's start with what people noticed first. Because it's using a system baked into the software itself, Unity would not be differentiating between a "purchase" and a "download". If someone uninstalls and reinstalls a game, that's two downloads. If someone gets a new computer or a new console and downloads a game already purchased from their account, that's two download. If someone pirates the game, the studio will be asked to pay for that download.

Q: How are you going to collect installs? A: We leverage our own proprietary data model. We believe it gives an accurate determination of the number of times the runtime is distributed for a given project. Q: Is software made in unity going to be calling home to unity whenever it's ran, even for enterprice licenses? A: We use a composite model for counting runtime installs that collects data from numerous sources. The Unity Runtime Fee will use data in compliance with GDPR and CCPA. The data being requested is aggregated and is being used for billing purposes. Q: If a user reinstalls/redownloads a game / changes their hardware, will that count as multiple installs? A: Yes. The creator will need to pay for all future installs. The reason is that Unity doesn’t receive end-player information, just aggregate data. Q: What's going to stop us being charged for pirated copies of our games? A: We do already have fraud detection practices in our Ads technology which is solving a similar problem, so we will leverage that know-how as a starting point. We recognize that users will have concerns about this and we will make available a process for them to submit their concerns to our fraud compliance team.

This is potentially related to a new system that will require Unity Personal developers to go online at least once every three days.

Starting in November, Unity Personal users will get a new sign-in and online user experience. Users will need to be signed into the Hub with their Unity ID and connect to the internet to use Unity. If the internet connection is lost, users can continue using Unity for up to 3 days while offline. More details to come, when this change takes effect.

It's unclear whether this requirement will be attached to any and all Unity games, though it would explain how they're theoretically able to track "the number of installs", and why the methodology for tracking these installs is so shit, as we'll discuss later.

Unity claims that it will only leverage this fee to games which surpass a certain threshold of downloads and yearly revenue.

Only games that meet the following thresholds qualify for the Unity Runtime Fee: Unity Personal and Unity Plus: Those that have made $200,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 200,000 lifetime game installs. Unity Pro and Unity Enterprise: Those that have made $1,000,000 USD or more in the last 12 months AND have at least 1,000,000 lifetime game installs.

They don't say how they're going to collect information on a game's revenue, likely this is just to say that they're only interested in squeezing larger products (games like Genshin Impact and Honkai: Star Rail, Fate Grand Order, Among Us, and Fall Guys) and not every 2 dollar puzzle platformer that drops on Steam. But also, these larger products have the easiest time porting off of Unity and the most incentives to, meaning realistically those heaviest impacted are going to be the ones who just barely meet this threshold, most of them indie developers.

Aggro Crab Games, one of the first to properly break this story, points out that systems like the Xbox Game Pass, which is already pretty predatory towards smaller developers, will quickly inflate their "lifetime game installs" meaning even skimming the threshold of that 200k revenue, will be asked to pay a fee per install, not a percentage on said revenue.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Hey Gamers!

Today, Unity (the engine we use to make our games) announced that they'll soon be taking a fee from developers for every copy of the game installed over a certain threshold - regardless of how that copy was obtained.

Guess who has a somewhat highly anticipated game coming to Xbox Game Pass in 2024? That's right, it's us and a lot of other developers.

That means Another Crab's Treasure will be free to install for the 25 million Game Pass subscribers. If a fraction of those users download our game, Unity could take a fee that puts an enormous dent in our income and threatens the sustainability of our business.

And that's before we even think about sales on other platforms, or pirated installs of our game, or even multiple installs by the same user!!!

This decision puts us and countless other studios in a position where we might not be able to justify using Unity for our future titles. If these changes aren't rolled back, we'll be heavily considering abandoning our wealth of Unity expertise we've accumulated over the years and starting from scratch in a new engine. Which is really something we'd rather not do.

On behalf of the dev community, we're calling on Unity to reverse the latest in a string of shortsighted decisions that seem to prioritize shareholders over their product's actual users.

I fucking hate it here.

-Aggro Crab - END DESCRIPTION]

That fee, by the way, is a flat fee. Not a percentage, not a royalty. This means that any games made in Unity expecting any kind of success are heavily incentivized to cost as much as possible.

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: A table listing the various fees by number of Installs over the Install Threshold vs. version of Unity used, ranging from $0.01 to $0.20 per install. END DESCRIPTION]

Basic elementary school math tells us that if a game comes out for $1.99, they will be paying, at maximum, 10% of their revenue to Unity, whereas jacking the price up to $59.99 lowers that percentage to something closer to 0.3%. Obviously any company, especially any company in financial desperation, which a sudden anchor on all your revenue is going to create, is going to choose the latter.

Furthermore, and following the trend of "fuck anyone who doesn't ask for money", Unity helpfully defines what an install is on their main site.

While I'm looking at this page as it exists now, it currently says

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

However, I saw a screenshot saying something different, and utilizing the Wayback Machine we can see that this phrasing was changed at some point in the few hours since this announcement went up. Instead, it reads:

The installation and initialization of a game or app on an end user’s device as well as distribution via streaming or web browser is considered an “install.” Games or apps with substantially similar content may be counted as one project, with installs then aggregated to calculate the Unity Runtime Fee.

Screenshot for posterity:

That would mean web browser games made in Unity would count towards this install threshold. You could legitimately drive the count up simply by continuously refreshing the page. The FAQ, again, doubles down.

Q: Does this affect WebGL and streamed games? A: Games on all platforms are eligible for the fee but will only incur costs if both the install and revenue thresholds are crossed. Installs - which involves initialization of the runtime on a client device - are counted on all platforms the same way (WebGL and streaming included).

And, what I personally consider to be the most suspect claim in this entire debacle, they claim that "lifetime installs" includes installs prior to this change going into effect.

Will this fee apply to games using Unity Runtime that are already on the market on January 1, 2024? Yes, the fee applies to eligible games currently in market that continue to distribute the runtime. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

Again, again, doubled down in the FAQ.

Q: Are these fees going to apply to games which have been out for years already? If you met the threshold 2 years ago, you'll start owing for any installs monthly from January, no? (in theory). It says they'll use previous installs to determine threshold eligibility & then you'll start owing them for the new ones. A: Yes, assuming the game is eligible and distributing the Unity Runtime then runtime fees will apply. We look at a game's lifetime installs to determine eligibility for the runtime fee. Then we bill the runtime fee based on all new installs that occur after January 1, 2024.

That would involve billing companies for using their software before telling them of the existence of a bill. Holding their actions to a contract that they performed before the contract existed!

Okay. I think that's everything. So far.

There is one thing that I want to mention before ending this post, unfortunately it's a little conspiratorial, but it's so hard to believe that anyone genuinely thought this was a good idea that it's stuck in my brain as a significant possibility.

A few days ago it was reported that Unity's CEO sold 2,000 shares of his own company.

On September 6, 2023, John Riccitiello, President and CEO of Unity Software Inc (NYSE:U), sold 2,000 shares of the company. This move is part of a larger trend for the insider, who over the past year has sold a total of 50,610 shares and purchased none.

I would not be surprised if this decision gets reversed tomorrow, that it was literally only made for the CEO to short his own goddamn company, because I would sooner believe that this whole thing is some idiotic attempt at committing fraud than a real monetization strategy, even knowing how unfathomably greedy these people can be.

So, with all that said, what do we do now?

Well, in all likelihood you won't need to do anything. As I said, some of the biggest names in the industry would be directly affected by this change, and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're not just going to take it lying down. After all, the only way to stop a greedy CEO is with a greedier CEO, right?

(I fucking hate it here.)

And that's not mentioning the indie devs who are already talking about abandoning the engine.

[Links display tweets from the lead developer of Among Us saying it'd be less costly to hire people to move the game off of Unity and Cult of the Lamb's official twitter saying the game won't be available after January 1st in response to the news.]

That being said, I'm still shaken by all this. The fact that Unity is openly willing to go back and punish its developers for ever having used the engine in the past makes me question my relationship to it.

The news has given rise to the visibility of free, open source alternative Godot, which, if you're interested, is likely a better option than Unity at this point. Mostly, though, I just hope we can get out of this whole, fucking, environment where creatives are treated as an endless mill of free profits that's going to be continuously ratcheted up and up to drive unsustainable infinite corporate growth that our entire economy is based on for some fuckin reason.

Anyways, that's that, I find having these big posts that break everything down to be helpful.

#Unity #Unity3D #Video Games #Game Development #Game Developers #fuckshit #I don't know what to tag news like this

[the-eeveekins]

Prospera: my more serious thoughts on her and her character.

Like Suletta, I fully support Prospera's actions. You can't show me the Prologue where her whole life is violently taken from her and NOT expect me to root for her. She's just as much a victim of Delling’s actions and the systemic oppression of Earthians as many of the other characters in the show. I feel like a lot of people who don't empathize or sympathize with her either haven't seen the Prologue or haven't watched it since it was released nearly a year ago.

Yes, she did terrible things along the way, especially to Suletta, Eri and Miorine; but Suletta affirmed her choice of trying to help Eri over revenge (and arguably, affirmed her very existence in the process), Eri agreed with Suletta's choice, and even Miorine was willing to accept her as family if it was the decision of her fiancée. Fixing those mistakes will take time, years even, and who knows if Miorine especially will ever forgive her, but she has that time and she has that chance. I love that the show gave her a second chance at the life she was robbed of and a chance to make amends and fix her mistakes. Most shows would have killed her outright or gone with the Redemption Equals Death trope. Characters like her, especially female characters, almost never get that chance.

And, personally speaking, the scene where Suletta pulls her into the data storm is one of my favorites in the show. She gets to speak with the memories of her colleagues and Nadim, and express her guilt for deciding to focus on Eri's future at the expense of avenging them, only for Suletta and Eri to affirm her choice and tell her it's time to move forward. The mask breaks, Prospera "dies" and Elnora finally gets to hold Eri again and apologize to both of her daughters. It's one of the most cathartic moments in the show, a perfect conclusion to the Mercury family story and it brings me to tears every time.

I know not everyone is thrilled by Suletta's acceptance of her mom after everything she did to her, but I think it's highly appropriate: she loves people unconditionally more than anyone, understands Elnora did what she did from a place of love and selfishly wants to be with her whole family, mistakes and all. And again: Elnora is as much a victim in this show as anyone else. And even if Suletta accepted her mother, it's not like G-Witch forgave every awful parent of their sins: as I mentioned here, Delling may have surived, but his power to oppress is gone, he's under investigation for his crimes and by all accounts he's no longer a part of Miorine's life. We never see her forgive her father for what he did, and to be honest, I don't think she ever does. It's a hand she only extenda to Prospera because of her selfless love for Suletta.

And that brings us to one of my major issues surrounding Prospera: the difference in how certain parts of the fandom treat Prospera and Delling. The greatest trick Delling ever played was being a little nicer to his daughter before falling into a coma for half the show. Suddenly so many people forgot all he'd done and were willing to forgive his past actions and offer him up for redemption, all while condemning Prospera to death for her actions and claiming she was unredeemable.

It just reeks of the usual fandom sexism with it's double standards towards male and female characters. I just found the idea that Delling was redeemable but Prospera wasn't to be wrong, and find it especially frustrating the way people still tend to focus on Prospera's wrongs while ignoring Delling's.

Still, I think she's an amazing character, one of my favorites of all time. I'm so glad the show stuck the landing on her ending, not only giving her a chance to attone for her mistakes, but also giving her back the peaceful family life cruelly taken from her in the past. Mending her relationship with Suletta, Eri and Miorine will not be easy, it will take time and care and effort, but I believe someday those bonds will be repaired and they will truly become a family with mutual love for each other.

#lady prospera #prospera mercury #elnora samaya #delling rembran #g witch #the witch from mercury #gundam the witch from mercury

[percervall]

Mamma mia, here I go again {pt3}

Summary: A summer of poor decisions leads you to having to face the consequences of your actions —and the men involved. Pairing: Kevin Magnussen x fem!reader, Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader, Mark Webber x fem!reader Warnings: mentions of sexism/double standards Word count: 978 Taglist: @averagef1fansblog @barcelonaloverf1life  @bradfordbantams @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @doofenshmirtzevil-inc @exotic-iris13 @goldsainz @iloveneteyam @jaypreshpresh @laura-naruto-fan1998 @monzamash @norrisleclercf1 @opheliaas-stuff @roseseraj @vellicora 

Part 3 of the Mamma Mia series

The one thing none of you had considered was how to explain all of this to your bosses. You were fairly sure Lewis would make sure you couldn’t lose your job over this, but somehow the idea of losing Toto’s respect felt worse than that. So as soon as you entered the paddock, you went to find Toto to ask him to call a meeting with the Haas team principal. Looking at your watch, you see that you have another fifteen minutes to go before Steiner gets here. Resting a hand on your stomach, you breathe through another wave of nausea. 

“Here,” someone to your left says as they hand you your favourite mug with ginger tea. 

“Thanks Mick,” you offer weakly, taking a careful sip. Mick smiles and sits down next to you. 

“So, George wasn’t lying,” he says, looking over to where Lewis, Kevin and Mark are standing, deep in conversation. 

“No, he wasn’t,” you admit. Both of you are quiet for a while. 

“I do wanna say thank you. For making life more stressful for Steiner. Just wish it didn’t have to include me knowing you slept with two men I look up to,” Mick breaks the silence. You can tell from the twinkle in his eyes that he is mostly joking. You nudge him with your shoulder.

“Gotta look out for my Micky, don’t I? Even if it leads to feeling like a lamb being led to slaughter..”

“Toto won’t think any differently of you. You’ve been here for all of Lewis’ scandals with women. He’d be a hypocrite.” 

“He would be, however, the standard for women is different. Especially in this sport. I have worked with Toto for 10 years now so logically I know he won’t hold it against me. Doesn’t mean I’m not scared of what will happen next,” you say while looking at the ginger floating in your mug. Sighing you get up, signalling to Lewis that it’s time. Despite knowing Mick is right, you can’t help the feeling of absolute dread at needing to come clean about your predicament.

“Now that that’s over and done with,” Mark starts as the four of you make your way back outside of the motor home after promising both team principles to handle this like adults and stay out of trouble, “Lewis, Kevin and I were figuring out logistics for our plans of wooing you.” 

“Oh great..” you mutter, “So what, you’re gonna rock, paper, scissors this?” 

“Something like that,” Lewis chuckles, “Can I take you out to dinner after the race on Sunday?” 

“After the race debrief you mean? I-.. Yeah, okay.” 

“Great,” Lewis says, a fondness to his eyes that catches you off guard, “Just wear something comfortable, we’re not going to a fancy restaurant.” He gives your arm a squeeze before getting whisked away by one of the Mercedes press officers. Mark and Kevin also say goodbye, and you can tell both of them would love nothing more than to show more affection towards you than you’re ready for right now. In the end both of them settle for a hug before leaving you alone with your thoughts. You quickly make your way into your office to gather the data you need for the meeting with the engineers ahead of qualifying.

The rest of the weekend passes in a blur. Making sense of the cars’ performances during the three qualifying sessions keeps you busy enough to refrain you from even thinking about Sunday evening. It’s not until you’re back in your hotel after the race debrief that you remember you need to get ready for dinner –for a date. 

“I don’t even know where we’re going,” you mutter as you dig through your suitcase for something that isn’t Mercedes branded. Thankfully you find a patterned skirt you had thrown in to travel home in, the bloating you are beginning to experience making trousers uncomfortable sometimes. You get out the ironing board and let the iron heat up while you freshen up, getting ready in record time. You hear a knock on the door as you finish tying your laces.

“Coming!” you call out, getting up from the chair. You quickly let Lewis in while you gather your phone and wallet.

“This is the best I could do with the clothes I brought, hope it’s okay?” you say, as you put your belongings in a tote bag, not having brought a purse this weekend.

“You look beautiful,” Lewis says, taking in your outfit. You decided to pair the skirt with a plain cropped t-shirt and your trainers. “You always look beautiful,” he adds. You feel your cheeks heat up under his gaze and awkwardly clear your throat.

“Thanks. You look good, too,” you reply, trying not to stare at the way his white t-shirt clings to his muscles. He gives you a wink that only makes you more flustered. Get it together, you scold yourself, he’s a friend. You follow Lewis out of your hotel room and let him lead you down to the garage where he opens the car door for you of the Mercedes he was driving all weekend. You murmur a thanks and let him help you in, the warmth of his hand comfortable as it holds onto yours. For a moment you feel 16 all over again, getting swept off your feet when your crush would hold the door for you. Lewis gives you a smile and closes the door before rounding the car, giving you a second to take a deep breath. The two of you are silent as he pulls out of the garage and onto the streets of Monza. 

“Where are we going?” you ask as Lewis merges onto the motorway.

“You’ll see,” he replies with a smile. You can’t help but roll your eyes at his secrecy and settle in for the drive.

A shorter chapter this time, but the next one will make up for it! Gearing up to the dates now 🙊

Feel free to let me know your thoughts! Your comments, tags, and love for the previous chapters meant the absolute world to me 💜

#f1 fanfic #kevin magnussen x reader #kevin magnussen x you #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #mark webber x reader #mark webber x you #mamma mia fic

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making my dad pay my phone bills?

I (Adult F) live with family. I make minimum wage so I can't afford anything, but I want to be independent someday. My dad (63M) is responsible for paying all the bills in the house, and each of us his children would be paying for our own separate expenses. BTW, this arrangement is the norm where we live, because it's a patriarchal country.

I was jobless during the whole covid period, so my dad was paying for everything.

After I start working again, he told me to pay my own phone bill. I agreed, but wanted a cheaper plan because my current one has a lot of data that I don't even get to use because our house is out of service. I can only use it when I'm outside, which is rare unless it's for work, and our workplace bans phones on the hour.

Anyway, it was my father who got me this phone number, I don't want to change it because it's the number I'm used to and I'll lose many contacts if I change it, but when I called the company to get the cheaper plan, they refused because this number isn't mine technically. My father will need to go to their office in person, which closes very early, and it happens on the time he's working his side job and he work everyday there, he doesn't cancel unless he has an emergency, and he doesn't have any day off because this job is mostly a hobby he likes, not a steady source of income.

Which is why, I'm stuck with a phone plan I don't want. I do pay it, sometimes. I did so regularly, but one time I was late, and my father paid it accidentally. All the bills show up on his bank app and he pays them without double checking. One time he came to me laughing and said "hey, I paid your bill accidentally because you forgot."

I laughed back at him and offered cash in return, but he refused, he told me to just pay it the next time myself.

However, these days I just ignore the bill completely, because I started working in a supermarket, and when I find good deals, I buy grocery for the whole family. Shared grocery is my dad's responsibility, so I could demand him to pay me back but I don't because I'm making him pay my phone bills anyway but he does pay me sometimes. For reference, my phone bill is about 30$ but the grocery I buy is sometimes more, sometimes less, and sometimes nothing. It depends on the deals I come across snd the brands our family like. I feel guilty because my dad most likely has no idea he's still paying my bills, even though I'm helping him with grocery. I also don't demand an allowance from him anymore unless I'm in a pinch, even though I'm entitled to it since it's a cultural norm.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[xxlittle0birdxx]

WIP: Turning Point

‘You can’t use your own data cylinders,’ Kanan said.

‘I know.’ Alexsandr dialed back his irritation, and just managed to refrain from rolling his eyes. He hadn’t risen to his current rank in the ISB because he was an idiot. In order to succeed as a double agent, he had remain above suspicion or reproach.

‘How are your hands?’ Kanan lifted both of his and wiggled his fingers. ‘Ever had to pick pockets? You could use someone else’s to throw suspicion on them.’

‘I can teach you a few moves,’ Ezra offered. He buffed his nails on the front of his jacket. ‘I’ve got a few skills, if I say so myself.’ He gave Alexsandr a smug grin, pointing at him with finger guns. ‘And I do say so.’

Alexsandr grunted noncommittally, then brushed past Ezra to toss his empty bottle into the reclamator. He lingered over filling a cup with caf, then turned and propped a hip against the counter, studying Ezra over the rim of his cup. ‘You seem to be missing something,’ he remarked, nearly yawning with apparent boredom.

‘Missing what?’ Ezra’s brows knit as he began to pat his torso. Blaster, holster, utility belt. All where they were supposed to be. His hand closed over the empty air at his right hip.

‘I believe this belongs to you.’ Alexsandr held out a hand. Balanced across his palm was the boy’s lightsaber. Kanan snorted with aborted laughter, and quickly turned it into a spate of coughing.

‘What?’ Ezra spluttered. ‘How…?’

Alexsandr allowed one side of his mouth to curl up. ‘You aren’t the only street rat onboard.’ He picked up Ezra’s lax hand and slapped the lightsaber into it. ‘Coruscant Sector 42SE, Level Two, at your service.’ He fired off a sardonic two-fingered salute.

Zeb snickered and slapped Ezra on the back. ‘Well? Any pointers, oh master of pickpockets?’

Ezra, red-faced, clipped his lightsaber back onto his belt with a little more force than necessary. ‘You should practice on someone wearing an Imperial uniform,’ he muttered.

‘That’s a really good idea. I think there’s one in the storage cupboard that ought to fit you,’ Sabine mused.

‘Wait, why do I have to —?’

‘Because you won’t take it easy on him. And you know all the tricks of the trade, so he’ll have to work harder and smarter to get by you,’ Kanan explained, mustering much more patience than Alexsandr would have.

‘I will, of course, appreciate your expertise.’ Knowledge was knowledge, as far as Alexsandr was concerned. He never dismissed an information source out of hand, simply because it happened to come from a fifteen year old.

Ezra just managed to not scoff with an expletive under his breath. A sudden gleam came into them when a sly grin crossed his face and he gestured at Kanan and Rex. ‘Fine. But you have to practice with them.’

Kanan’s elbow slipped off the edge of the table. ‘Wait, what?’

Ezra deliberately stood next to Alexsandr. ‘C’mon, Kanan. When have you ever seen an Imp as scrawny as me?’

Zeb wheezed with muffled laughter, face buried in his arms.

#alexsandr kallus #agent kallus #garazeb orrelios #zeb orrelios #zeb calls him alex #eventual Kalluzeb #kalluzeb #ezra bridger #kanan jarrus #sabine wren #star wars rebels #au star wars rebels #star wars rebels au #star wars rebels fic #post s02e17:the honorable ones #rebel kallus #fulcrum #pickpocket #work in progress

[dark-frosted-heart]

Aphrodisiac Event - Roger Barel (part 1)

As usual can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Roger: Wanna be my test subject for this (aphrodisiac)?

Kate: ...Excuse me?

While helping Roger organize his materials, I did a double take at his outrageous suggestion.

Roger: Remember how a few days ago, El and I took down a crime syndicate that was using aphrodisiacs to do some bad stuff?

Kate: Yes, of course I do. I wasn't with you, but I understand what happened. The organization responsible for manufacturing the aphrodisiac was destroyed and the crime was put to a stop, right?

Roger: Yeah, and this aphrodisiac was confiscated.

Roger placed a pretty vial on the examination table.

(At first glance, it looked like perfume or something)

Roger: Aphrodisiacs claim to enhance libido, but the active ingredient hasn’t been medically proven.

Kate: So aphrodisiacs are fictitious?

Roger: Yeah, if something called an aphrodisiac existed… Something that acts directly on the medial preoptic area of the hypothalamus*… It’d be a drug that stimulates the release of sex hormones. So I looked into this aphrodisiac and found an interesting component.

Of course Roger, whose life’s work is researching curses, would capitalize on the “interesting component”.

Kate: You didn’t…

Roger: I already gathered data on the curse by having Liam drink it.

Kate: I knew it! Just because Liam’s too nice, you used him as your guinea pig again!

Roger: That guy was happy to satisfy his curiosity so I consider it a win-win.

Kate: Um, so… You want me to take the aphrodisiac because you don’t have enough “human” samples?

Roger: You're quick on the uptake. Good, you're a fast learner.

Kate: I don't appreciate the compliment...

Roger: So, how ‘bout it?

Kate: Please don’t just offer an aphrodisiac like you would booze.

Roger: It’s nothing that serious. You’ll be quarantined so Crown won’t touch you. And if you need to be taken care of, I can help?

Roger patted my head as if while saying that as if it was nothing.

Though it was a casual gesture, it was enough for my body to recall the lustful heat.

Of the times when Roger kissed me forcefully and touched my body.

And how easy it was for me to feel good.

(Hey, don’t get caught up in it)

Kate: I can’t just say “okay, sure.” I respectfully decline.

Roger: Hmm, how cold. Guess I’ll just have to find someone else :(

Kate: Someone else…?

Roger: Once you’ve made up your mind, you gotta act, right? Let’s go.

Kate: H-hold on, Roger!

~~

I desperately tried to catch up to Roger’s casually long strides.

Kate: What do you mean by “find someone else”?

Roger: I’m looking for a woman whose biologically “human”.

Kate: No one would do such a thing.

Roger: Not if you got the money. There’s more self-sacrificing people in the world than you think.

Kate: But to have a person drink it…

Roger: What happens when they get excited? Like I said, I’ll deal with it.

Kate: T-that…

Alfons: I can hear Roger’s deep voice echoing in my sleep-deprived head. Can you be a little quieter?

Kate: Alfons…

Roger: You’re still sleepy at this hour? Your circadian rhythm’s broken.

Alfons: You would like for me to bask in the morning sun and sleep at night? I refuse. So what is it that you two are arguing so intimately about? Did Roger finally lay his hands on you?

Kate: Um, no.

Alfons: Then, what is it? I haven’t the slightest idea.

Roger: Kate won’t take the aphrodisiac.

Alfons: Really! Stingy Miss Kate.

Roger: Right? I told her I’d help when she got too horny.

Alfons: Ah! Perhaps you would like a threesome? Though I’d rather not with Roger involved.

(I can’t be the straight man…)

Alfons: When you suggested that she test the aphrodisiac, Kate declined. So now she’s desperately chasing after Roger the beast as he looks for other test subjects.

Kate: You know.

Alfons: I’m a clever man. Ah, yes. Let me give you something nice, something interesting.

Alfons holds out an invitation card.

Roger: Which high society mansion?

Alfons: It belongs to the Weasley family, who owns large plots of land. A place to bring their daughters and men together, I’m told. The father’s quite the strange fellow. “It’s best to experience a variety of men before finally choosing one,” he said. 

Roger: Oh? There’s some strange ideas these days. And it’s tonight?

Alfons: I don’t plan on making an appearance so feel free to hunt as you like.

Alfons returns to his room with a yawn.

(Roger’s going to find a test subject in high society, isn’t he?)

(I…)

Roger: Kate. Wanna come along as the “fairy tale writer”?

It’s obvious this isn’t a mission for Crown or anything.

Roger’s aware and he’s testing me.

(Something like “Follow me if you’re interested. I’ve got an excuse ready for you, okay?”)

I reflexively responded to his provocative gaze.

Kate: I’ll join you as the fairy tale writer to make sure you don’t misbehave.

Roger: Alright. Then-

Roger’s hand grasped mine tightly.

Roger: Let’s hold hands and be on our merry way.

Kate: Please let me go.

Roger: Nope.

*Here he says “the area libido is centered in the hypothalmus” but I had to do this

Part 2

#ikemen villains #ikevil translations #ikevil summary #roger barel #ikevil roger #ikevil #ikevil jp

[prisonprocess]

The Adventure Begins

1.

Brendan M. says:

These days, everything happens online.  After I sold my company and took the profit, I lived at the lake house and basically didn’t need to go anyplace or see anybody.  After 12 years of corporate meetings, that was fine with me.  And there were plenty of online buddies to chat with.

My favorite was Blake.  He was into all the hot prison photos, sites, and stories.  We’d spend hours late at night, talking about how great it would be to “do prison,” as he put it, actually instead of virtually.  “No more role play.  Just real steel—the real deal.”  Nothing but uniforms, restraints, cellblocks, and being transported in big ugly buses (“diesel therapy”).  “Nothin but a number, Jack!  And you know what?  There’s an outfit that can put you there.  Just saw it online.”

That’s when he told me about Your Prison Profile.  A hot idea, of course—expensive, but they’d find a place for you in prison, and nobody would know how it happened.  When I contacted them, they put me through to Cody, a chill young guy who made everything easy.  I didn’t mind that he kept telling me to think about this or that, and we could talk about it tomorrow.  I really got off on thinking about my “requirements”: “which level of security is necessary for you,” “are you looking for hard labor,” “single cell, double cell, pod, or dorm,” and so on.  We did it all by online video, and I liked the look of Cody sitting at his desk and talking in a calm, level voice about what I wanted to “get out of” my “prison adventure.”  Blake and I spent every night imagining our way through the various options.  Next day I’d talk it over with Cody and click on the one I wanted.

Then in a couple of weeks Cody came online and told me, “Hey, based on the data you’re giving me, I found you a prison.  It’s the same security you wanted, same labor options, the whole nine yards.”  I was excited; I wanted to hit Blake up right away and tell him.  The problem was—this looked like my last visit with Cody.  He needed to know if I’d click on the box that said, yeah, I accept the offer.  Which I’d never intended to do.  I’d just wanted the fantasy.

I made up an excuse to go offline, and I got back to Blake.  “What do you mean?” he said.  “You don’t want to go through with it?”

I was ashamed to admit that I didn’t.  But I was so excited, I couldn’t let it go.  “Maybe for six months,” I said.

“Don’t be a wimp!” he replied.  “Besides, you can’t go to a real prison for six months.  They won’t let you in.  It has to be for at least a year.  You know that.  And what else are you doing that’s so important?”

“All right,” I said.  “I’ll tell him a year.”  By that time, I barely knew what I was saying, I was so turned on.

But when I got back to Cody, he said, “I’m sorry.  This is a serious facility.  They don’t do one-year sentences.  Try three.”

“Three?” I answered, like a dumb ass.

“Three years.  Or you can sign up for five or ten or fifteen or twenty.  But listen, if you’re having trouble making up your mind, you can do two to life.  That’s for first offenders who, like, did something pretty bad, but they’re still first offenders.  So if you’ve got a good record in the facility, they’ll let you out in two.  Otherwise, they can keep you.  You understand how that goes?”

“Right.  I understand.  I’ll get back to you.”

“Thanks.  But I gotta tell you, this offer won’t last long.”

“What do you mean?” Blake said.  “You’re not gonna turn that down, are you?  Two years from now, you’ll still be sittin on your deck, growin your fat ass, wishin you’d had enough stones to click that box.”

I spent a worried, sleepless, and very excited night, and the next day I got with Cody online and clicked the box that said Two Years to Life. 

After that it was easy.  I sent a check for 50K, and 5K more as a tip for Cody.  I made arrangements with my lawyer.  I leased my house.  I put my stuff in storage.  I waited for my order to report to prison.  When I got it, there were two weeks to go.  I spent them chatting with Blake and alternating between excitement and fear.  But I couldn’t deny what he said: “In fourteen days you’ll be livin the dream.”  Then it was ten, then five, then one, and I went online to say so long for the next two years.  For some reason, Blake wasn’t on.

Next morning I left the hotel where I’d been staying and took a taxi the 50 miles to the Regional Headquarters of the Department of Corrections, where I was supposed to turn myself in.  I don’t know what I was expecting, but all I saw was a dumpy little building with a walk-up window and a sign saying REPORT FOR IMPRISONMENT.  OK, that was straightforward.  I wished I’d seen that sign years before.  A twenty-year-old with ear rings was sitting on the other side of the glass.  “Driver’s license-Order to Report-cellphone.”  I’d never thought about that, but yes, I’d lose my phone.  I slid everything through the little slot in the window.  The young man tossed my phone to one side of the counter, where I could see it land on a pile of other cell phones.  Then he compared my license with my Order, pushed the Order back through the slot, and said, “Give this to the officer at the gate.  Next!”  I turned and saw that I was part of a line of other men, there to REPORT FOR IMPRISONMENT.

The officer at the gate, a fifty-something with a big gut, took my Order and beckoned me through.  “Face to the wall,” he said.  There was a brick wall on the left, and I put my face to it.  “Hands on your head.”  I put my hands on my head.  Then I heard the double click of the shackles being attached to my legs.  This was the moment I’d been waiting for, and I almost lost it right there.  Even more when he turned me around and cuffed my hands together.

“Transport cage over there.  Get in and line up.”  A younger officer who might have been hot but wasn’t opened the second steel gate and let me in silently.  It was a cage, all right—concrete floor, and steel fencing all around.  It looked like they’d spent twenty bucks on it.  There were about 40 guys in the cage, lined up in their go-to-prison clothes, which must have cost then about ten bucks.  So these were my fellow convicts . . . .

Note: All stories by prisonprocess are purely fictional and have no relation to real persons or institutions.

#transformation #new fish

[saphhywaffy]

I would like to offer up a dca and reader where the reader gets hired to “just make sure the animatronics show up to their scheduled appointments on time.”. Both the animatronics and reader can send in a report, simply claiming if the appointments are on track and going as planned.

Now I don’t know too much about the subject but acting like I do know what I’m talking about, the position you’re hired for is to monitor any results or signs of bad data. The higher ups already know about Moon and his, uh, silly lil self and have removed him from dca position and onto security detail. Hoping that the problem has somehow dealt with by just sending him away from public eye, you’re more so just a precaution. You get to make sure whatever happened to the Moon ai wasn’t a result of data that could be, or has spread into the rest of the animatronics.

Other fun lil jobs of the position are also being a human face as you’ll be present at a point of the birthday parties and meet and greets. You get the honour of being called down to handle any of the cool parents and or guardians that have complaints and refuse to “listen to a dumb robot” that has been programmed with the proper procedures and information courtesy of management’s request.

Other extra activities such as stock, some janitorial duties, and other totally fun incident reports are given to you as ways to make the day go faster while also being a productive member of the team.

While getting those tasks completed the other idea behind them is to increase your exposure to the animatronics, giving more opportunities for any errors to be found. Bad data and any information regarding a chance of violent behaviour passed to the other animatronics is tucked in a safe corner and out of your hands, as far as you know you are just to “check in with the animatronics” and “keep yourself busy”. For being paid double minimum wage who are you to argue with having to get your steps in and getting to see the behind the scenes of the infamous Freddy Fazbear’s Mega Pizzaplex.

Don’t worry about all those waivers, just make sure to have fun and do your job!

#fnaf #fnaf sundrop #fnaf sun #fnaf moon #fnaf moodrop #fnaf dca #dca au #dca x y/n #dca fanfic idea #dca fandom #fnaf fanfic #fnaf au #sun and moon fnaf #sun and moon x reader #shrugs #sapphyy

[sunshinesmebdy]

April 11th, 2024: A Day of Action and Communication in Business and Finance

Today, April 11th, 2024, offers a particularly interesting celestial alignment with powerful implications for businesses and financial markets. Let’s delve into the key transits and their potential effects:

Double Dose of Aries Fire: Sun Conjunct Mercury

With both the Sun and Mercury in fiery Aries, the day ignites with assertiveness and a drive for action.

Business Implications: This is a prime time for entrepreneurs and sales teams to take initiative and close deals. Be bold, confident, and clear in your communication. However, be mindful of Aries’ impulsive nature — avoid rash decisions and channel this energy into calculated risks.

Financial Implications: Expect a fast-paced market with potential for quick gains. However, volatility may also increase. Be cautious of following the herd mentality and focus on well-researched investments.

Moon Enters Gemini: Seeking Information and Connection

As the Moon shifts into communicative Gemini, the focus turns towards information gathering and collaboration.

Business Implications: This is a great day for brainstorming sessions and team meetings. Communication flows freely, and creative ideas can spark innovation. Encourage open dialogue and active listening within your team.

Financial Implications: Investors may be more receptive to data-driven pitches and presentations. Focus on clear communication and presenting a well-rounded financial picture.

Supportive Aspects: Moon Sextile Mercury, Moon Trine Pluto

Two key aspects further color the day’s energy:

Moon Sextile Mercury: This harmonious angle fosters clear communication and strategic thinking. Negotiations and partnerships are favored.

Moon Trine Pluto: This powerful trine brings depth and intensity to conversations. It may reveal hidden information or uncover opportunities for transformation.

Business Implications: These positive aspects suggest a day ripe for negotiations, contracts, and strategic partnerships. Be prepared to delve deeper into discussions and explore all possibilities.

Financial Implications: This is a good day for investigative research in financial markets. Look for emerging trends and uncover hidden potential in investments.

Remember, astrology is a lens, not a script. Use this celestial energy to your advantage, but always factor in your own research and expertise. By understanding the cosmic currents, you can navigate the business and financial landscapes with greater awareness and potential for success.

#business astrol #business strategy #business and finance #business and strategy #business horoscopes #astrology updates #astro #astrology facts #astro notes #astrology #astro girlies #astro posts #astrology community #astrology observations #astropost #astro observations #astro community

[halfagone]

Oooo different anon but

Please do share you spreadsheets tricks! I only use spreadsheets if I have to make a table (because somehow it's easier to copy paste it from there instead of making one in documents...) but it seems like a such an useful tool that I don't have motivation to learn how to use :/

Hello! And I'll try my best! Some of these may seem more basic, but they can do absolute wonders for organization. Now this is a long post, with screenshots!, so buckle up your seatbelts.

All screenshots will be from Google Sheets. I do have and use Excel on occasion, and some of these items can be found on that program as well, although it may be placed elsewhere. Please note, too, that all examples are done on a PC device. For mobile phones or tablets, some of these keyboard shortcuts might not work the same and may require a little more finagling to get right.

I'll start with making something called a "Header Row". Basically it's how you name your columns so you know what should be in each.

This is just an example spreadsheet, but it'll work lol. (If you don't know how to highlight those four cells, select A1, hold Shift key and use the Right Arrow key [->] until you have highlighted all the results you want for your Header Row.)

From here, you go to View on the panel and select/hover over Freeze, where you can then select "1 row". This should freeze your selected row. So no matter how far down you scroll, or how much information you have recorded, you'll always know what's supposed to be listed there.

Next we have something called "Conditional Formatting". This can be really useful if for filtering data. In this example, I changed the spreadsheet to have various cells with "Yes" or "No", to show what it can do.

---

Once you've selected the cells/rows/columns you want, choose Format, then Conditional Formatting.

From there, it should give you a panel on the right side of your screen that looks a little something like this:

You can do a lot with this! You can even adjust the range here if you realize you picked the wrong ones or changed your mind for any other reason. But to format it, you need to choose the rule. Here is some examples that they offer you:

In this case, I am going to choose the Text Contains rule. From there, I pick what the text should say. I even get to pick and choose my colors. So at the end it'll look like this:

My spreadsheet will reflect this rule as well.

You can also add as many rules as you want! Just use that "+ Add another rule" at the bottom there and repeat the process.

---

Now this next one is among my personal favorites: Dropdown menus!

This can also cover something called "Data validation", but I won't bore you with that explanation just yet.

Go back to that Insert tab and you'll see Dropdown further down the list. (Smart Chip functions in a very similar way, but it's works better for collaborative projects or scheduling needs.) We'll get to Checkbox in the next round.

When you click on Dropdown, you'll get this window:

Much like with Conditional Formatting, Dropdown allows you to customize what your options are and how they're colored. I'll use some basic examples for you to get an idea.

And of course you can add or delete as many options as you need.

So when we go back to our spreadsheet, it'll look a little something like this:

---

Checkbox is fairly simple, and doesn't allow much for customization. But if you go back to the Insert tab and click on that option, you can get a little something like this:

A nice little checklist if you need it!

---

A simple trick to filling more cells is actually fairly easy. You see that little blue dot on the bottom right corner?

If you're using a formula, you can just double click that dot and it'll usually just fill in all the cells for you! And if you're not using a formula, dragging works just fine. You can also use the Insert Row/Column/Cell option by right clicking with your mouse, or referring to the Insert tab on the top panel.

---

If you want to make your cells/rows/columns stand out a little more, might I recommend Borders?

They give you a lot of options for what it'll look like. For this example, I'll use the fourth option of the first row. That'll make it look a little something like this:

And hmm... I don't like how they're leaning to the left. Let's fix that too.

And maybe a few more cosmetic changes...

And BOOM! It already looks a lot different! At just a glance now you can tell what goes where based on colors alone! You can also customize colors if you don't like the basic ones, but I think I'll leave that mystery to you. ;)

I hope this gave you a good head's start! And don't worry if it feels overwhelming at first. I know I forgot a lot of tricks and tips (and a good number of keyboard shortcuts) when I went a long time between using spreadsheets. You're free to refer to this guide any time you want or need to, and if you have questions, I'll try my best to help!

Classes have always taught me this: never feel embarrassed to look something up. There are websites like Github or Stack Overflow for paid professionals to get help and advice. We should be allowed to do the same.

Now that I have sufficiently buried you in information, I hope you have a wonderful new year!

#halfagone replies #spreadsheets #tips and tricks

[mysisypheannightmare]

Malfunction

Word Count: 10530

Warnings: Hurt No Comfort, heavy angst, extreme crying (seriously, it’s A LOT), suicidal behavior/attempted suicide, multiple instances of self-harm, injury, biting, brief mentions of blood, choking/strangulation, difficulty breathing, extreme amounts of negative thinking, self-loathing, panic attack/anxiety attack, mental breakdown, pushing past emotional/mental limits, overworking, sensory processing issues, partial mutism/struggling through mutism, denied help when asked, insomnia, implied sleep-deprivation, stress, depression, anxiety, brief explicit language, other sides & Thomas misunderstanding the situation and reacting poorly (NOT unsympathetic)

Notes: Please heed these warnings. This is a long and intense fanfic that is essentially 99% pure angst. It is also mostly based on personal experience, so I don’t fully know how to tag some of it. If you have tag suggestions, please let me know and I’ll add it to the warning tags.

There is an additional note at the end.

And shoutout to @intrulogical for the perfect idea that sparked this fic! It really turned into its own kind of monster in the end...

If you're ready, please enjoy!

–

He really should have expected something to go wrong.

Logan had only been given a single day before the deadline to get everything ready.

Roman had come up with a new video idea, throwing out the old plan all because he'd had what he decided to call a "sudden stroke of creative genius" just yesterday. Logan had offered that they stick with their initial plan and work the new idea into next month's schedule instead, but Roman had refused. He’d been so insistent that the new idea couldn't wait, that he had slaved away in his own room all day to construct the new script, so all he needed was the proper research done and a quick look over for any typos...which, of course, would fall to Logan's department. Unwilling to hear Logan out about having to rearrange the schedule on such short notice, Roman left Logan with a pile of papers, notes, and a memo pad full of lyrics for a song he would be adding on top of everything, and there was very little Logan could do but, well, his job.

He had sighed, organized the papers enough to find the research topics he needed to collect data on, and got to work.

As he'd informed Roman, he had to completely rearrange his schedule for the day to accommodate the new, daunting task before him. Pushing aside his own priorities was simple enough, but he'd have to let the other sides know that he'd need to postpone his prior arrangements with them, and he'd have to find a way to make Roman's new plan work around Thomas' necessary evening and nightly tasks. With them filming first thing the very next day, Logan would have to be sure Thomas had everything set up and ready before he went to bed that night or they'd be behind schedule for the shoot, which would only make things worse.

Thankfully, Thomas had already expected this and needed little persuading, and Virgil was willing to step in and make sure Thomas double-checked everything before turning in for the night.

But then he had to keep reminding Thomas to get off his phone and sleep already so he wouldn't be tired in the morning, which kept distracting Logan from getting his research done.

Once Thomas had finally fallen asleep, Logan tried his best to focus in on the main topic Roman had chosen. While he kind of hoped Roman's sudden change of plans would at least include information he was already privy to, he could never be so lucky.

So, instead, he would be up all night, foregoing any sleep so he could learn as much as possible about the psychological nuances of obsession and passion, Roman’s apparent ‘genius’ topic idea. Collecting data and cross-referencing Roman's new script was time-consuming, but he was certain he could get most of it done in time for the shoot.

Logan glanced down at the clock. 12:18am. See? Plenty of time to get everything ready.

He flipped a page of the script to find dozens upon dozens of hand-written notes from Roman, some kind of last-moment addition where he wanted more detail about obsession included in a particular scene. Oh boy, Logan really was about to be in for a long night...

–

After having opened the thirtieth medical article on this topic, Logan wanted nothing more than to just close everything down and crawl into bed, consequences be damned. But, no, he had a job to do, so it didn't matter if he was tired.

He glanced down at the clock. 4:08am.

Okay, just another four hours and fifty-two minutes before Thomas was scheduled to get up. He leaned back in his desk chair and looked over at the stack of papers he still had left to review. He'd made it over halfway through already, and that likely left just enough time to finish the research and a quick glance-over for typos before Thomas got up in the morning. So, right on time, then.

His gaze drifted back to the article pulled up on his computer when his mind harshly reminded him that he would need to review his schedule before deciding he had the right amount of time left, as he couldn't ignore Thomas' direct tasks in the morning, no matter how much importance Roman placed on his script.

Welcoming the distraction from research for a bit, Logan opened his schedule and verified what had been moved and postponed to accommodate Roman's change of plans.

Thomas' morning routine was still intact, but there was clear overlap in the final prep time for filming and Logan's research window, especially considering he had to put off his prior arrangements yesterday evening with all the other sides so he'd have to be ready for any questions that may arise. And since they would be filming that morning, there were bound to be a lot of questions.

Logan sighed. Okay, so he didn't have as much time as anticipated, but that was fine. He could probably just pick up his pace for now to make sure the workload would be completed efficiently.

And that's when he noticed a missed schedule change from yesterday that hadn't been moved or postponed. In regards to some missing files that he hadn't been able to locate before the prior episode’s filming day, which had caused a whole uproar due to the lack of memorized information Thomas needed to rely on. He had set the time aside to verify the files' whereabouts for the day right before the shoot this time so he could be sure he had it and wouldn't lose it before the filming began, to keep Thomas from worrying about it for an extended period and to maintain Logan’s own reputation as being reliable to Thomas and the others.

But he hadn't done it. He'd completely skipped over it because he had prioritized it as a personal task, but when he rescheduled his whole day, he had set all his personal tasks to low priority or removed them so he would have adequate time for Roman's necessary script changes. But this one task hadn't been removed due to its importance, and yet he'd completely forgotten about it.

He stood up, wanting to go find the files right away, but the sudden movement knocked some of Roman's papers and notes to the floor and he hastily scrambled to pick them back up.

He set them back on the desk. The pile was only half-finished. If he paused the research now, it wouldn't be done before filming started. But if he didn't find the missing files, Thomas would find him unreliable! He had specifically asked Logan to locate the missing information, but Roman had demanded this research be done on time, too!

Logan looked down at his hands to find them shaking.

Odd.

He ignored it and sat down to look back over his schedule. Surely there was something else he could remove from his morning tasks to give him some extra time?

The only priorities were Thomas' morning routine, the preparations for filming, and being available to answer questions. Oh, that's right, he would have to be readily available for any questions from the others leading up to the filming start time, which meant he couldn't be back in the library storage locating the files at that time.

Well, scratch that idea then. But maybe he could power through the research during the questions time. Or maybe there wouldn't be as many questions as usual, giving him that tiny bit more leeway?

Or, perhaps he could create a list of frequently asked questions and answers for the others to quickly reference so that they wouldn't need to ask him-- oh no, wait, then he'd have to take time creating the list and making copies for everyone, so he'd only lose more time that way.

He looked down at the clock again. 4:32am. 

He gawked. Had he wasted that much time on this already? How was he going to get anything done on time now?

His vision seemed to swim for a moment and he grabbed onto the edge of his desk to keep himself steady. What on earth was that all about? 

He raised a hand to adjust his glasses, for some reason thinking that may help, only to notice he was breathing really heavily.

Well, that was rather impractical, he thought. He was metaphysical, and therefore shouldn't need to breathe. So why exactly was he breathing so quickly and heavily?

Oh, wait, right, that was called hyperventilating. Why was he hyperventilating then?

His mind seemed to race at the implication, supplying him with everything he'd deduced up to that moment - how he'd have to resolve the deadline problem in another way if at all possible, how there was so much he still hadn't gotten done yet, and how he definitely seemed to be overwhelmed at the moment.

That wasn't good.

He didn't notice that he was swaying the second time and fell right out of his chair and onto the floor, now aware he was quite nauseous and that his head seemed to be pounding with a growing headache.

Why was this happening? What was wrong with him??

This was very unusual, given he didn't often lose balance or display any symptoms of illness. It wasn't unheard of, sure, but it certainly didn't come out of nowhere like this, for no discerning reason.

He tried to bring a hand up to his face again, only to immediately fall forward and land flat on the floor.

His first thought was to try to sit up, but his energy seemed to completely disappear and he just laid there uselessly. This was such a waste of time, on top of everything he'd already learned about the schedule and his inability to properly redistribute necessary tasks... How could he have let this happen?

He wouldn't normally make such an enormous error, would he? No, something had to be wrong here. Some kind of glitch or malfunction he hadn't noticed until it had started to wreak havoc on him like this.

How could he have let it go unnoticed, though?

It wasn't until his glasses began to fog up that he realized he was crying, too, and once he noticed that, it seemed to increase by a ridiculous amount. What must have started as a mere trickle was now a faucet on full blast, and he could hear himself begin to sob loudly. 

He somehow sat up just barely then, clutching at his head as he became even more light-headed and dizzy from that one simple action and all the noise he was making.

How could this be happening? Why had things gone so wrong?

Aware enough to at least take stock of what was occuring, he noted he was still hyperventilating while also crying, and before he could move onto the next symptom of whatever this problem was, he squeezed his eyes shut and started screaming.

Like the crying wasn't disruptive enough, his screams seemed to bounce off every wall around him, the floor beneath him echoing the clamorous cacophony right back into his ears, sounding so desperate and terrified.

Neither the sobbing nor screaming would cease when he tried to force it to stop, it just wouldn’t stop, and it only seemed to get louder and louder.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

He must have broken something in his usual coding and this had been the result, or it was due to crossed wires or something coming loose. That was the only thing that could explain how horrible he was acting right now, and how awful this felt.

But it didn’t matter how it felt, he just needed it to stop.

He had to make it stop.

But how?

His mind was racing, trying to sift through the multiple mistakes he'd already made in less than a day, with many more in the past and soon to be more in the future ready to add on to the pile. The moment he tried to think of proposing a solution to the source of all this - the timing error - he couldn't get to the next step in weighing his options and the idea's many variables because his mind would suddenly flood in with more problems. It left his ears ringing and his jaw feeling sore from all his own crying and screaming.

How had he let this get so out of hand? What was he supposed to do if he couldn't think straight long enough to fix it?

What if he couldn’t fix it?

Surely this wasn’t just happening because he'd messed something up with his workload, even if that was obviously an unfixable mistake and meant that he had ruined everything and it’dl been all his fault... But the action had simply caused something in his brain to misfire and resulted in all this bizarre stuff, instead of something understandable, like a standard level of trepidation or a marginal amount of stress, just enough to motivate him to keep going.

This? This was not normal. And it was far from understandable.

He rubbed at his eyes, trying to stop all the tears.

But the root cause of the issue was his mistake. So if he tried to focus his attention on fixing that specific part, maybe then he could fix the rest of it?

It was worth a shot!

He had no idea what other options he had left, though…

But maybe he could ask someone else for a new suggestion? If his mind was rendered temporarily faulty and he wasn’t capable of thinking clearly, maybe there was an answer he wasn't aware of that he could try instead? He'd just have to ask someone... 

But who?

–

Shoving his fist to his mouth to quiet the incessant sobbing and possibly pause the hyperventilating, Logan had managed to get himself up on wobbly knees and then to his feet without falling over again. It was hard to keep quiet, as his mind seemed to fog over the moment he was standing and any thought that came through caught more crying in his throat. Once he made it to his door and got it open, he pulled both hands to his mouth, trying to force himself silent to keep from waking anyone.

He'd not bothered to check the time again, but with how dark it was in the hallway, he assumed not much time had passed yet. Perhaps he ought to have been grateful for that.

He stumbled as quietly as he could to the first door he saw upon exiting his room - Patton's.

Even though he couldn't really think of a legitimate reason to ask for his help with his mind so hazy, he figured Patton would probably be someone with an idea of what to do next, even if it didn't work. Logan just needed to try something, anything, at this point!

He removed one hand to knock on Patton's door, but it somehow managed to wind up slammed against the door instead, like he'd been throwing a punch.

What the hell was wrong with him? Maybe Patton could figure that much out?

If Patton couldn't come up with a solution to the scheduling problem, perhaps he could have some idea why Logan was suddenly malfunctioning like this?

He tried to knock again, and this time nearly completely whiffed trying to connect with the door. He really wished he could get this under control. He was so worthless like this, wasting time when he should have been researching.

Oh geez, the research! He clutched at his head, stress flooding in all over again. He hadn't even bothered to tab through the remaining pages to properly estimate how far along he could get before the deadline inevitably emerged.

Without warning, or at least none he'd been made aware of, the door in front of Logan swung open, revealing a very tired-looking Patton standing just inside, sans glasses.

Oh, good, now Logan could ask for his help and resolve the first part of this problem! But what about the malfunction? He still hadn't been able to stop crying, but crying was something Patton understood, right? It was some kind of an emotions thing. Was this an emotions thing then? Surely that meant Patton would be the exact side to consult about this!

Logan pulled away his other hand and attempted to speak, but all that came out was a jumbled mess of sounds and an obnoxiously loud sob.

He hadn't intended to be so noisy, especially since it was still so late, but he seemed to have no control over his volume, either. The tears only seemed to pick up at that thought and he tried to see Patton through them, but everything was just a blur now.

Patton wore an unreadable expression then, made even more impossible for Logan to decipher as his vision shifted and blurred behind all the unstoppable tears.

"Uhm, Logan, I..." Patton stammered out, looking at him with confusion. "I can't really understand you."

Logan shook his head, intending to try again, but the crying and sobbing were now back in full force and he tried to shove a hand over his mouth at the same time that he spoke.

"It's... The-- the time," he tried. "I need... P-please..."

He couldn't seem to get half of a word out before he was suddenly inhaling as much breath as he could, cutting himself off each time. The sentence he tried hadn't made any sense and the crying and hyperventilating only made it that much harder to understand.

This malfunction was ruining everything!

Patton frowned, and Logan shoved his hands over his mouth immediately, finally recognizing a sob was about to come moments before it did. The lack of air left him dizzy again, but he focused on Patton. Maybe he could at least have an idea of something to try? Anything, anything, please!

Patton sighed.

"Logan, I'm sorry, I just... I don't know how to help if I can't even understand you." He glanced away and then back, adding, "Just go and calm down first, okay?"

And then he shut the door.

Logan stood there, silent. The sobbing seemed to have stopped, possibly from how off-guard he'd been made from Patton's decision just then.

He hadn't expected that at all.

A hiccup escaped him, followed by another loud sob, and he rushed back to his room and slammed the door behind him before the screaming could start back up again.

What were his options now?

Patton had said to calm down, but did that mean he knew what this was? Was this normal? Were emotions always like this?

If Patton wasn't bothered by the display, then that meant something, right? Surely that indicated this was just how emotions worked... So maybe he wasn't broken, after all! He was still usable like this, he just needed to figure out how to shut the emotions part off so he could get back to being productive.

He just had to fix it.

He stumbled forward, trying to make his way back to his desk chair.

The other sides had emotions, too, but they weren't as loud and annoying as he was being right now, so that indicated there had to be an off switch, some way to maintain better control. He just needed to find whatever that was so this would stop being so disruptive and he could get back to work. He couldn't keep wasting everyone's time.

He had a deadline to meet.

The very second that thought processed in his mind, the screaming returned in full force. He tried shoving his hands over his mouth but the screaming persisted. He had to make this stop! There had to be something that would work! 

He let go, looking around, hoping to find something that might help. 

The quick movement jostled his glasses on his face, and he swung his hand up to catch them, effectively hitting himself in the side of the head. Without further thought to the action, he found himself balling up both hands into fists, now smacking himself on both sides of his head repeatedly.

Why was he doing this?

Why wouldn't this just stop?? 

Why wasn't there just a mute button or an off switch? Why was this system so complicated that there could be no simple solution to the mess it caused??

Hit after hit against the side of his head made the headache he'd noticed earlier grow stronger, the thoughts on his mind seeming to slow from their rampant and racing pace.

He managed to stop one of his hands before he landed another hit, and glanced over at his hand before sucking in a shaky breath.

Oh, right, the crying still hadn't stopped.

He was still uselessly wasting time.

He squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to think, to focus. He lowered his hands, everything both inside and out of him seeming uneasy and tense.

Patton had said to calm down. Maybe he needed to start with that.

Oh wait, maybe he just needed to refocus on the task at hand? The research!

He wasn’t sure what he would typically do to calm down. He wasn’t sure he ever needed to calm himself before, as most flares of emotions or bizarre behavior would only spark and burn out quickly. There was no need to calm down before now. What was a method that should work?

Perhaps a menial task?

He stumbled over to his desk and sat down, trying to hold his breath at intervals to get it steady again. Was it ever steady? That didn't matter. He held his breath for a few moments then inhaled again, trying to get the hyperventilating under control as he leaned towards his computer. 

He returned to the medical journal he'd been starting to read earlier (he stopped himself from checking the clock again to see just how long ago that had been), but he could barely see through the tears, everything blurring at the edges. He wiped at his eyes incessantly, trying to stay focused.

Just read. Get the information, add it to the notes as necessary, and get the job done. 

He held his breath again, but a sob broke out from behind his gritted teeth. The moment the sob broke free, it would grow into a scream. The screaming-sobbing was so loud and annoying, still seeming to bounce off the walls around him whenever he thought to tune back in to notice. 

It was normal, though, he had to remind himself. This was fine. He just had to focus on the research and it would go away. 

This will work. It had to!

It didn't, though. He went on like that for nearly half an hour, having finally bothered to check the clock. He'd made minimal progress, notably from having to stop reading periodically because his vision was still swimming at times and he was repeatedly feeling lightheaded from constantly trying to hold his breath and failing. 

Clearly, the screaming sobs and constant hyperventilating had to stop. If he could get those parts under control, he could keep focused and everything else would fix itself.

He resisted covering his mouth right away, mind now switching tasks to try to solve this issue for good.

There had to be a way to get his breathing back to normal.

The thoughts didn't immediately connect together but he looked down at his hand and, after another blink to clear the tears, he found himself biting into the back of it, hard. 

The screaming now sounded muffled, but only just barely, so he bit down harder. His hand spasmed for a moment and pain shot through his wrist and up his arm.

He could taste blood. Gross.

He could feel his hand throbbing against his teeth, overtaking the slight buzzing sensation from his muffled cries against his skin. His jaw began to ache from holding it in place, but he ignored it.

This...wasn't so bad.

It was somewhat freeing, the pain in his hand warring against the overwhelming thoughts in his mind. He could sense the pushback, like the pain wanted nothing more than to win out.

He adjusted his jaw and bit down again, just as hard. The taste of blood flooded his senses alongside the searing pain.

And that was when he realized... the screaming had stopped. Oh god, and his arm hurt more than he'd ever thought possible, but the screaming had stopped!

He let go, and immediately saw the terrible bite marks and blood on the back of his hand. That didn't look pleasant, but at least it worked! He almost smiled at this small point of victory, but he lifted his hand and stared forward, ready to ride this rush to get back on track.

Unfortunately, it only took a few moments of trying to type before he had to stop because he kept dripping blood onto his keyboard, plus his hand was still randomly cramping and spasming from the pain, so he decided to get up and wrap his hand in a bandage for the time being.

The bleeding had stopped and was taken care of fairly quickly, but flexing his hand even just a tiny bit would send pain shooting up his forearm and down his fingertips, so he tried to stay aware of that as he stepped back towards his desk.

He noticed his mind seemed far clearer than it was minutes ago. From the decision to take care of his hand to the far quieter state of his room without all the screaming, he supposed Patton's suggestion really had worked.

He felt something drop on his uninjured hand and, upon seeing the drop of water, he realized he was still crying quite profusely, but clearly not as loudly and obnoxiously. He wiped away the incessant tears, but was grateful he'd at least managed to get the screaming part to stop. That was still progress, he assumed.

He sucked in a breath. Ah, he was still breathing bizarrely, but not quite as severely as he was earlier when he was hyperventilating. Definitely marked progress! That meant there really was a way to fix this, he just needed to try harder.

He took a seat and stared at the clock on his computer. 5:51am.

He ignored the pulsating pain in his hand that seemed to marginally increase as he ran the math in his head, seeing he only had three hours and nine minutes left before Thomas would be up and the research would be due.

He could hear the occasional light drips of tears as they fell onto his desk while he opened his research notes file on the computer to verify where he'd last left off.

And that's when he noticed, now that his mind was clear enough to see, multiple typos made in the last paragraph he'd typed. 

Shit.

Without hesitation, the hyperventilating returned in full force as he scrambled to correct every typo he could find. As he kept clicking further back into the document, he found more and more errors, and it quickly dawned on him that he'd have to recheck the entire file and all the ones he'd written before it, too. With the submission deadline fast approaching, he knew there wouldn't be time. He was already behind, and they expected this to be done and without all these pointless errors! 

What the hell was he supposed to do?

He squeezed his eyes shut, tears picking up again, and pain in his hand throbbing when he forced it into a fist and slammed it down on the desk. Fuck, that hurt!

He was supposed to have been making progress, but now things were even worse than they were before! He'd wasted all this time for nothing and he was right back at square one again!

He tried to catch his breath before any sobbing could return. The hyperventilating made him feel faint even faster than last time and he leaned forward, his eyes fixing on his bandaged hand. Why had that only worked for such a short while? Why had it worked at all?

He leaned down to try biting it again, but his hand was still already throbbing in pain. 

Perhaps the other hand would be better? No, what if doing that hindered his ability to type fast enough or even at all? Small progress was better than no progress at this point, so there had to be something else.

He leaned back in his chair a bit, his mind starting to fog again. 

Oh, no, that wasn’t good! He hadn’t even gotten anything useful done yet!

A jolt of pain ran up his arm and he reached up to cover his mouth again, knowing another sob was about to break out.

This wasn’t working.

The cry broke free anyway and rang loudly in his ears, the sound reverberating off the walls again, somehow still louder after all the short but cherished moments of silence he’d had in the meantime.

He slowly dropped his hands down to his neck, curling his fingers around each side. Without time to let a thought pass, he squeezed. Tight but not too tight, just enough to slightly hurt, just enough to get the breathing to stop for a moment, whether it was the hyperventilating or otherwise. 

He felt a tingling sensation in his mouth, then the tingling traveled down to his chest. It was strong, almost overwhelming, numbing out the pain in his hand, and his mind provided no indication of what any of that should mean. 

But then his chest heaved and he let go, sputtering. He grabbed at the tie around his neck, pushing and pulling it away, to help him breathe again. He felt at his neck with a few fingers and then pulled them away as the sensation against his skin began to sting. 

He sucked in a breath and then exhaled....normally. Wait, that had worked? He was back to breathing normally again, albeit with large gulps of air at first, but no hyperventilating! He stared down at his hands, amazed that had worked so quickly, so efficiently.

He'd done it. This was the answer! 

Staying focused, redirecting the pain when it overwhelmed him - it was a fast enough turnaround with minimal side effects that he could keep working!

It was perfect.

Even more enthused than his last bout of victory and progress, he leaned forward in his chair and went right back to work.

Based on the time he had left, he'd have to just power through into the questioning period to properly verify that the script pages and his notes of research were all submittable before the deadline, but that should be far more achievable now. Besides, he'd foregone sleep to do that plenty of times in the past without problem, and with this new process to keep his breathing maintained and steady, it should be simple.

Though his neck now occasionally ached, joining the continuing pulsing pain in his bandaged hand, Logan flipped another page of Roman's script, determined to get as much of this work done as he possibly could on time.

Some progress was still better than no progress, so he just needed to get close enough. Not that anything he did was ever enough, but he just had to accept that for now.

He pointedly ignored the clock again, and only paused every now and then to wipe away the tears that continued to trickle out for the next hour, silent and steady, as if he somehow held an endless supply within him. It was surprising he hadn't been able to stop, after all this time that had passed. He figured it had to stop on its own eventually, but more would always come.

Multitasking just a bit as he got near the end of the pile, he organized the files as he went, preparing them for the deadline. He readied everything he needed and tried not to allow any further delay. Forcing himself to stay on task, despite only the slightest pauses to deal with the constant silent tears, seemed to work.

His mind was still at odds with his goal here, but he couldn't deny that progress was being made. That was what mattered here, the rest of it was just a hindrance anyway.

And while he didn't feel calm, he figured that perhaps his misunderstanding of emotions had merely skewed his ability to recognize what that was meant to feel like. Maybe this was what was normal, and he'd finally achieved it? That should be a good thing. He should be satisfied.

–

By the time he was down to the last four pages of the script, just the barest pieces left, it was already well into the morning. Thomas hadn't woken up yet, as expected, and Logan considered his options as his new tasks were about to come due.

After he completed the last few pages, he would need to quickly review the full script as well as his own notes, checking for errors and typos. It shouldn't take too long, so long as there weren't too many mistakes. While he was doing that, he could remain available for questions regarding the shoot that would start in a couple hours. 

The missing files were still missing, of course, but Logan had pushed that aside for now. Any time the thought resurfaced in his mind, he merely shoved it back down again. 

He figured, if he could get everything else done first, he could try to find them just before the shoot started. It wasn't well thought-out, but even if it was, he knew everything would just spiral out of control again, so he was purposefully ignoring it until later. He could just do it later, surely.

He wiped more tears away. He really wished they'd just dry up already, especially since the other sides would come knocking any time soon and he didn't need them seeing him like this.

That choice was taken out of his hands, though, as Roman chose that moment to burst through Logan's door, announcing that he'd made some changes to his script overnight.

Logan grabbed the edge of his desk with his unbandaged hand, somewhat from genuinely being startled, somewhat to keep himself quiet, and pointedly stayed in position, not turning around.

"So I saw that there was this whole subsection about the passion of performance, right?" Roman had started to ramble a bit, and tossed down another copy of the script Logan had just spent the whole night working on. "And, right away, I was like, it has to be included so we have to have it in there!"

He laughed triumphantly, telling Logan he'd graciously made the needed notes last night and Logan could just throw out that part of the original script and just add the extra research in to the new part instead.

Logan had tried to speak, say just about anything in that moment, but his words shriveled to dust, leaving but a puff of air in their wake as they left his mouth. Nothing. Maybe that screaming had been a bigger problem than he'd even considered...

Roman then joked that it wasn't like Logan was busy, or anything, and walked his way back towards the door. 

"Oh! Deadline's still the same, though, because we gotta be ready to film here in just a bit!" Roman oh-so-kindly added and then stepped back out into the hall before turning around one last time. "See you there!"

And then he shut the door.

Logan blinked, feeling the tears in his eyes still welling up and falling out.

He felt his shoulders hunch up but the pain he had relied on in his hand was gone, more numb than anything else now.

He bit his lip, trying to get ahead of this before it could get worse.

Okay. He breathed. He could do this - he could.

The deadline remained the same, but he still had some time left. He would only have to adjust for completion of the task, and completely obliterate any chance at all of ever finding those missing files, therefore making him unreliable to everyone, especially Thomas, but at least he’d get the script review done on time. That was technically better than both tasks going unfinished, right? One out of two wasn’t so bad, probably. At least, he hoped that was the case.

After another large inhale, his breath came out shaky again, and he barely held in a whine as the crying desperately attempted to come back in full.

No, not now! It was almost time to answer everyone’s questions as they got up for their own morning routines. He needed to stay focused and get everything done first. He didn’t have time to stop so uselessly again to deal with tears!

He glanced over at the clock. 7:06am. Just under two hours before Thomas would be awake.

With a dry swallow, Logan determinedly reached over to switch out the pages of Roman’s script, as instructed. Timing would be everything in these last couple hours.

He willed himself to be calm. 

No more shaky hands getting in the way and keeping him unproductive. No more pointless crying, loud and obnoxious and keeping him from staying on task. No more rubbing his eyes to remove tears, constantly forcing him to pause his necessary duties.

These pointless distractions had to stop. Every second would count now.

It was quieter, though not silent. The tears were still coming, but only as a steady trickle. He could work with this.

Back to his research, he finalized which new additions would be placed where and tried to keep his mind as focused on that particular task as possible to block out any unwanted thoughts about how upset Thomas would be about the missing files once the deadline finally approached.

He couldn’t think about that now. He had to stay on task and get this done. That was what was most important.

Completing more of the research and turning more pages as quickly as he could manage in this state, he noticed he could hardly keep his eyes from drifting over to check the clock, and occasionally even the calendar posted up on the wall behind his desk, displaying the time Thomas would be prepping to film that morning in big, bold letters.

He blinked rapidly for a moment to remove some tears without having to stop himself from typing.

Timing was everything now, and as he turned another page, he wondered how much he could flex his schedule to try to guarantee his task completion. After all, he might be able to get away with only showing up just in time to begin his part of the shoot instead of getting there early to assist with the set up, as that would give him a tiny bit more time to prepare the script review. Would it be enough time to get everything done, like checking for the missing files? No, but even a few seconds could be made useful, he was sure of that.

So long as he didn’t squander them.

The problem, though, was that Thomas and the others expected him to be there early, as he always was, ready to coordinate Thomas’ setup for the cameras and verifying what equipment should be recording and when, so staying behind for the sake of grabbing a few seconds of extra time may not be possible if they ended up calling on him due to his absence. 

He was meant to be considered reliable, after all.

He couldn’t let them down. But he also couldn’t let them down by not getting this research and review done thoroughly. There wasn’t a way to do everything right, but he had to do as much as possible for now and hope he somehow had a little more time left for the rest.

His eyes hurt as he tried blinking away more tears. He really wished he had found a better solution to all this.

–

A knock on his door was the exact signifier that the morning’s question period had begun. As Thomas was meant to be up fairly soon, his sides were all waking up and getting ready themselves, especially since they would be filming in just a short while.

Logan quickly contemplated his next course of action in regards to the barrage of questions he knew he’d be enduring over the next hour. Standing up and going to his door to answer each time would waste precious seconds that he could better use continuing to work, so he decided to stay at his desk and simply raise his voice when responding.

It also saved time in not having to make himself look halfway-presentable, as the crying had still not stopped. He would have to get it under control before filming started, but that was at the bottom of his priority list at the moment and would have to wait until the research was done.

The knock came again, followed by a timid, “Uhh, Logan? You awake?”

He tried not to roll his eyes at the ridiculousness of the question. Was this how they were starting the questions period, with inane inquiries he didn’t need to waste his time answering?

Of course he was awake. He hadn’t slept.

“I am,” he called out, not turning away from the computer as he finished up the next paragraph of notes and continued to ignore his silent tears. “What do you need?”

Virgil’s voice sounded clearer as he asked, “I just wanted to double-check, uhh… We’re starting right at 9:30, right?”

Logan realized Virgil must have opened the door to peek his head in, which is why his voice was louder, but he hadn’t heard the door click open. Worrying, but he’d ignore it for now.

He took a steadying but silent breath before responding simply and resolutely,

“Yes.”

His eyes fell on the clock again. Only 28 minutes before Thomas was meant to wake up, leaving a total of 52 minutes before the shoot began. 

Logan heard Virgil mutter a thank you and close the door. First question done. Technically, this meant he was following his schedule correctly, so he should have found some satisfaction in that, but instead he found himself regretting it.

His throat felt tight and blinked away more tears, just barely feeling as one followed a past track all the way down his face and over his lips before dripping off his chin.

He resisted the urge to rub his eyes again, knowing it wouldn’t get the crying to stop anyway.

It was those damn missing files. 

He wanted to just stop everything and go get them, but he knew he couldn’t. If Roman’s script wasn’t updated in time, everyone, not just Roman, would be horribly disappointed and it would also delay their filming day, ruining the rest of the day’s schedule, which could potentially push back the next day’s schedule, destroying the steady pace he’d set for Thomas to follow for the entire week. 

All that work would be completely ruined, just because he didn’t feel like doing some more research right now! How pathetic. Why would he even consider stopping?

But he also knew Thomas would be upset about the missing files. He really didn’t want Thomas to be upset. Specifically, he didn’t want Thomas to be upset with him.

He squeezed his hands into fists. He had to just be satisfied with what he could get done for now. He knew that. He just had to accept it.

“Logan!” A loud, successive knock on his door rang out after the shout of his name, and Logan instinctively moved his hands up to cover his ears. No, wait, he couldn’t do that, he had to keep working! 

He diligently moved his hands back to the keyboard to continue typing. 

He called back, “Yes?”

His voice wasn’t as calm and clear as it was last time. He really hoped that he could maintain whatever level of control he’d managed to accumulate up to this point, or filming later was going to be awful. He really didn’t want to think about that.

He listened for the question.

No door opening this time. It was a question about the filming time again. Logan confirmed that, yes, they would be starting at 9:30.

He breathed as calmly as he could manage as soon as he heard the other side walk away.

There was something beating in his chest then. His heart, right. He had one of those.

It was beating so heavily, like it was trying to escape its confines. 

Why was he reacting this way to some simple questions? He’d been expecting this - it was in the schedule! Why was he filled with… was this panic? He wasn’t sure.

He sighed, aggravated at his own uselessness, and turned another page over, blinking away more tears. Only a couple more pages left and he’d be completely done. 

The end was finally in sight, and he would hopefully have just enough time to check it over again for typos and get himself ready before the shoot began.

Another knock. This time, he forced himself to not have a pointlessly-adverse reaction. He called out. They asked, he answered. They walked away.

See? He could do this. It was easy. His mind had all the answers ready, all he had to do was dispense them as needed.

Yet another knock. Yet another answer.

He turned over the next page.

More questions, more answers.

He could do this.

He powered through and was finally on the very last page when he heard an enthusiastic knock. It was Roman.

Not a question, though, he was just announcing that everyone needed to be heading down to the commons soon now that Thomas was finally awake.

Logan lifted his head, looking back at his door. He hadn’t even noticed Thomas had woken up. The unusual brightness in his room was suddenly apparent and he squinted, moving his gaze back to his computer screen. 

This was good, though. Thomas was awake on time and Logan was just moments from being done with the research. He would have just enough time to organize and review before they started filming. The research was more to benefit his role in the episode, anyway, so if he was a little delayed in delivering it, that would be fine. No one had to know it was completed only minutes before they started, after all.

He ignored the new ache in his neck as he finally flipped over the last page of the script and added his last notes to his file.

Wiping the stray tears from his hands, he reached over and reorganized the stack of papers, placing Roman’s newest notes to the top of the pile.

A post-it note he hadn’t noticed before sat on the very top. Written across it in Roman’s cursive, fancy handwriting, read “Be sure to check over your new lines!!!” 

Logan froze.

How had he not seen this earlier?

He immediately turned his attention back to the clock. 9:22am. 

Shit, there wouldn’t be time to memorize whatever new lines Roman had added!

The silence in the room seemed ominously loud then. He held his breath.

Okay, just keep calm. This was fine.

He could feel more tears building up, still unending as ever, and he skipped blinking them away to instead reach at his throat again.

Fingers twitching but ready, he stopped before he began to squeeze. He didn’t need to do this. He didn’t have time.

He could just…probably attempt to memorize the lines right now, while he reviewed for typos. That was what would be expected of him. No wasting time with distractions, right?

This was fine. He sniffled, trying now to hold in the tears in his eyes. He could do this.

He flipped through the tabbed-off script to find his new lines. They hadn’t been marked, but Roman’s notes pointed to where they should be inserted. How gracious, how helpful.

Logan blinked, numerous tears falling to the paper and staining it. Roman would be pissed at that, but at least he would know his lines. That had to be good enough. Some progress was better than none, and blah blah blah. 

He squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth. No, just think about the script. Memorize the lines. Switching tasks wasn’t meant to be difficult. He just needed to do it correctly.

He took another deep breath, and forced himself to scan over the script page again.

He flipped the page, his hand coming up to his tie instead of resting on the page this time. He yanked absently at the tie, trying to keep everything clear in his mind. 

Read the words, know the words. It was easy. It was always supposed to be easy. He could do it.

He flexed his bandaged hand at his side. Another drop on the page told him the crying still hadn’t stopped, because of course he’d spent hours trying to do something and still managed to fail. 

How completely worthless did he have to be for him to be so affected by pointless, confusing emotions that he couldn’t discern, and even more pathetic for continuing to be affected after literal hours of dealing with them?

While he’d technically gotten the other malfunctions to stop with physical pain, the crying had never once gone away. Not on its own, not with his own attempts. 

He was kind of out of both time and ideas on getting it to stop now, though. And then he felt that familiar tug.

He was being called.

He took one last look at the time. 9:35am.

The others had already started then. 

He went to take another deep breath, but it was shakier than ever before. The hand yanking at his tie was shaking. His neck itched; his bandaged hand did, too. The inside of his mouth felt dry, his chest felt tight, and - oh, what do you know, the headache was starting to come back, too! 

Great.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the tug again. Okay. He could do this. He just needed to remember his opening lines, and then he could just let the others take the lead and use that to keep his focus.

He could do this.

–

He sank into the commons. He could hear a few voices already speaking, and he tried his best to maintain his proper posture as he rose up in his usual position next to Thomas’ staircase.

Without hesitation, he opened his mouth to state his newly-memorized opening line, but it came out as a whisper.

He stopped himself and started again, trying to speak more clearly, only for the slightest lilt in his voice to take hold and he heard everything else around him grow silent.

Oh, god. He’d fucked up. 

No, no, no, he’d put all this work into everything, please just let him run the line again. He knew he could do it right, he just needed to try harder.

He should have tried harder the first time, obviously, but he swore he wasn’t this unreliable! Not usually, anyway…

That was when the question came. 

“Uhm, Logan… Are you okay?”

He wasn’t even sure who it was asking him this. His gaze had fallen to the floor.

He had no idea if he could answer such a question, after everything that had happened. 

But he’d already messed up, so he shouldn’t be so useless as to not answer their genuine questions, right?

He lifted his head, and tried not to squint as he looked past the bright set lights in his face. Thomas seemed to look concerned, eyeing him oddly. 

Right, Logan remembered. He hadn’t bothered to clean up his appearance before sinking out of his room. That would have been the right thing to do, but he’d managed to forget and mess that up, too, huh?

He turned and looked over at Virgil, who appeared to be frozen in shock. He looked to Roman, seeing an expression he wasn’t sure he recognized. If he had to guess, Logan would say it was some sort of mix between disgust and confusion. He supposed that would make sense, given Logan’s present state.

And then he managed to gaze past the light at Patton, who was giving him that pity-filled frown, the one he makes whenever he sees an animal or infant fall over. 

God fucking damn it all.

Logan apologized immediately. He knew, above all, he ought to not waste more of their time with this nonsense, but here he was, doing exactly that anyway.

He apologized again, but it came out lilted just like his memorized line had, and his words tasted salty. 

Right, he was still crying.

Shit, he hadn’t stopped crying this whole time. He’d never gotten it to stop. How completely pathetic and worthless did he have to continue to be?

Couldn’t he just do one thing right today?

He looked back over at Thomas, trying to keep his posture intact as he asked - practically begged - to run his line again.

“I won’t– I swear,” he tried to assure him. “I won’t mess it up again.”

Thomas instantly refused, shutting him down.

Logan bit his lip. God, of course! Of course he had to go and mess it all up this badly! 

He wanted to explain himself, elucidate his ability to say his lines. He just needed to calm himself back down and try harder. He could do it. He knew he could. He wasn’t completely worthless, no matter how much that seemed to be the case.

But the moment he opened his mouth to ask, Thomas cut him off.

“Logan, I need you to just try and calm down. Okay?”

Logan had never closed his mouth faster than he had in that moment.

He hadn’t succeeded then. 

Whatever he’d done last night into this morning wasn’t good enough. Because it never was and never would be.

All that work was for nothing. He’d failed. He’d disappointed them, all because of some stupid malfunction that had come out of nowhere and one he couldn’t control or fix.

He was broken. He couldn’t even run lines for the episode, so that meant he’d been rendered completely useless to them. They couldn’t use him if he was broken. 

What was he supposed to do now?

He couldn’t hear anything, but he could tell he had started crying profusely again. He could feel the sobs in his chest, but no sound reached his ears. Perhaps that should bother him, but nothing could hurt him more than his own regret right now.

He couldn’t be used. He couldn’t be fixed. He had tried everything he could think of, but no true solution existed! 

A slight ringing started to sound in his ears, and he reached up to cover them, but it just grew louder. At least it was better than the likely reprimands he had to imagine the others were seconds away from making. 

He really didn’t mean for any of this to happen. God, he felt absolutely awful.

His vision swam again. It’d been hours since he lost balance, and he reached out to the stairwell to steady himself, nearly missing.

He briefly heard shouting, but couldn’t make out what was being said.

He could have blamed the malfunction again, but now he was certain - he was always broken. The malfunction just finally made it easier for everyone to see.

That was why it had shown up. Because he’d been trying to hide the truth all this time. He was trying to deny how worthless he was, trying to find ways to prove it wasn’t true - but the malfunction made everyone aware of how completely useless he’d been to them all.

They deserved better.

He shakily turned to Thomas, who seemed to be stepping closer, but he couldn’t be sure.

Logan opened his mouth to apologize, but nothing came out but sobs at first.

“I’m sorry!” he screamed out, far louder than he should have. 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he tried again, forcing the words out between sobs. “Tried– I… I tried. I tried to…fix it. Fi– fix me, but I…”

He broke off, sobbing louder then, but he could feel the intensity rising in his chest. He didn’t want to scream again. He didn’t want to keep burdening everyone with this. He needed to go.

He couldn’t do this.

He tried to cover his mouth but the moment his fingers were in front of his face, he bit at them, unsure if he were trying to get them to go away or if this was supposed to help things. He just needed it to stop. He needed something to stop. 

He wasn’t even sure what, but something had to stop.

Maybe it was him.

He pulled the fingers away from his mouth and buried his face in his hands instead. His eyes were leaking so many tears, they escaped through the spaces between his fingers with ease.

What was he still doing there? Wasting all their time, that’s what.

He chanced a look back up at the others, pulling his hands down just enough to see.

They were all just…staring at him. 

He was bothering them with this. He was wasting their time, wasting their precious time to film the episode… 

Should he go? He should go.

If he wasn’t of use, maybe they could have Janus fulfill his role in the episode? At least then they wouldn’t have to deal with his incessant crying.

He tried to tell them, to suggest the alternative, so he could finally stop wasting their time.

“J… I–” He couldn’t seem to form words again. “He– Ja–” 

More sobs. He just needed to tell them a solution! Why couldn’t he do the one thing he was built to do?

Logan held his breath but couldn’t keep it for long before he was heaving in another breath. Oh god, the hyperventilating had come back and he hadn’t even noticed!

Someone spoke up near him.

“What’s…happening right now?” That someone had asked. 

It was quiet but clear. Was that Roman?

“Just tell us what happened.”

Logan covered his face again, breathing as much as he could through the sobbing. 

He didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand.

How could he be expected to explain something he couldn't understand?

Nothing had happened! He was malfunctioning, but he was already broken! He always had been.

He hadn’t wanted to accept that, hadn't wanted them to know that. But now, they did know. They had to.

And he couldn’t fix this, no matter how much he wanted to.

He’d let them down, in the worst way possible.

“So,” he could hear Roman say then, “you do have emotions. How ‘bout that?”

Was that a laugh?

Logan shook his head, trying to keep his hands over his mouth. No, these weren’t emotions. They couldn't be, because this was the malfunction. They were never emotions, no matter what he tried to convince himself.

Patton must have realized the truth when Logan had asked for help last night. These weren’t emotions, it was just his uselessness finally on display for them to see. 

He was malfunctioning because he was faulty. This was merely taking the metaphor of a slightly-hidden fracture and revealing the reality of an infected and quickly-detaching limb. 

Torn, ruined, and useless - the best bet of saving everything else was to remove the limb entirely.

It meant he wasn’t of use to them like this. The malfunction was able to show them that he had never been of use to them at all.

That was why Roman had given him that task.

That was why Patton had told him to calm down. 

That was why Thomas had told him to calm down, too. 

That was why he had let them all down. It was inevitable that he’d fail. He was broken, he wasn’t capable of succeeding.

“Ju–” he tried, moving his hands from his mouth, still barely managing to speak through the sobs. “Just malfunctioning. Just…broken.”

His chest hurt so much. His vision swam again and then went completely white for a moment before returning to normal, albeit slowly, gradually. Well, 'normal' meaning blurry and full of tears, but at least he could see the others still standing nearby, unmoving, keeping their distance.

He wasn’t sure he could keep himself standing much longer, though. His knees felt weak.

He supposed that meant he was just about to prove how much more pathetic he could be.

He couldn’t fix this. He couldn’t fix himself. They wouldn’t be able to see past his mistakes, even if he could somehow, miraculously fix everything now. He wasn’t sure why he’d deluded himself with the notion for so long, thinking that it was possible to continue on, that he could just make it up to them. 

He hadn’t even been able to locate those missing files. He hadn’t even tried!

He would never be good enough.

His hand and neck began to throb in pain again, after all this time in numbness.

He deserved all this pain, all this distrust and disappointment. He had earned it through his failure, his inaction, his ineptitude.

Maybe things could have been different if he had actually tried harder. If he had spent just a little more time trying to understand instead of ignoring his faults, then maybe he wouldn’t have been so useless.

But it was too late now.

He wanted there to be another chance for him to change their mind, but he knew it would never happen. Not now.

Really, he should have expected something to go wrong.

He slowly looked up, the bright lights searing into his eyes and the ringing in his ears mixing with his own sobs and what may have been the others speaking to him, but he couldn’t be sure.

He turned to see Thomas one more time. He looked confused.

Logan stumbled back, forcing himself to stand. 

He couldn’t keep disappointing them like this. Staying here and wasting all their time, their precious time. So much precious time.

Today would have to be the last opportunity he’d ever have to fail them like this. It could not - would not - ever happen again.

It came to him then. He had a solution.

The real answer had been lying in his failure all along - he hadn’t tried hard enough.

Tears dripped down his face as he reached his hands back up to his neck.

The crying had to stop, and he knew what to do. It all had to stop, for good.

No hesitation, he tightened his grip around his neck, squeezing as hard as he could. He had to try harder this time. That was what he had to do.

He squeezed, his mouth going numb, his eyes stinging in sharp pain, his chest heaving in desperation… He ignored the rushing blood in his ears, the sudden jolts of stinging pain on his arms… until everything went dark.

End notes: Thanks for reading! Just for some peace of mind - Logan does not die at the end here, his grip would have given out after he passed out.

If enough people are interested, I could write a short follow-up chapter to this fic that’s purely comfort, to show some aftermath and the other sides & Thomas trying to properly help Logan and understand what had him so stressed! Just let me know if you’d like to see that.

#logan angst #logan sanders #ts logan #fanfiction #sanders sides #long post #alright i am going to add all the warning tags now wish me luck #angst #crying #attempted suicide #self harm #injury #blood #biting #choking #strangulation #mental breakdown #panic attack #overworking #stress #mutism #insomnia #depression #anxiety #okay i think that's all of them for now #let me know if i need to tag anything else!

[kaluxsims]

Joining Mesh Edges - Pt. 1

...or something? I've been struggling with what to call this tutorial. "How To Make The Visible Body Parts Line Up With The Clothes So They Don't Clip Or Gap" would be way too long.

I've been meaning to do a tutorial on this for ages, but when I saw @kayleigh-83's frustration in this post, I offered to help. I wanted to have this tutorial up a few days ago, but wound up "needing" to do this other one first. Finding a simple shirt or dress with a lower neckline that wasn't painted on and hadn't already been converted was basically impossible.

The previous tutorial was kind of an "in case this comes up" situation. This one is more of a "best practices" level. You don't _have to_ do this, but it will give better results than leaving a big piece of the body floating around under the clothes. I learned how to do this by looking at meshes by @deedee-sims and seeing how her meshes fitted the body neatly to the clothes. I'm not sure if this is exactly how she does it, but it's what I figured out to get a similar result.

To put it in visual terms, this is a before and after:

This tutorial will not teach you how to convert clothes 4t2. It assumes you have basic Milkshape knowledge. This is probably also an intermediate level tutorial, but I think it's a fairly important thing to learn how to do.

This is usually a neckline thing, but I've done it for other parts too. I'm using a neckline as my example here.

I'm picking up the same maushasi shirt conversion from the Painted-On tutorial, after reshaping it to fit the TS2 body.

It looks a little weird because I shaped it to fit extraextrasuperclose at the waist...for reasons. If it works, you'll see, when it's up for download someday. Disregard that for now.

I start this process by regrouping the body mesh parts that show outside the clothes. I select all faces that have any part of them showing.

After regrouping, I hide the rest of the body. I try not to delete it until I'm sure I don't need to grab any faces I missed.

I could call that close enough, adjust some bone weights, and leave it like this. Plenty of creators do (or used to). I want the best result possible though, so I do some additional work. (With practice, this joining method is faster and easier anyway.)

Because I selected from the front, I grabbed a few faces of the back which I don't need. Selecting them, I can double check that I don't need them. If the red highlight doesn't show above the shirt's neckline, I know I don't need these faces and can delete them.

Know how I said I try not to delete the rest of the body until I know I didn't miss any faces I need? Guess who forgot and deleted it too soon this time!

See what I missed?

Oops. Happens. Not too hard to import the body again and get those missing faces. This is why it's important to check all around though. Dammit.

The back is simpler than the front, so I'm starting there again. I like to get "inside" the mesh when I do this process. It's easier to see what vertices I'm selecting and make sure I don't merge anything extra this way.

The only problem with viewing it from inside is it's harder to tell what's what in wireframe only. (I could right click and select "Draw Backfaces" but I prefer to leave it off.) Highlighting the body group gives me an idea of what I'm working with.

I wind up highlighting the body group like this at various points in the process, to make sure I'm matching edge with edge.

It's important that the clothing group (temporarily named "shirt" in this case) is above the body group in the list. I mess this up on the first vertices so often. Not a big deal to undo and fix the list order, but still. I want the body piece to move to where the clothes piece is, not the other way around.

I usually start in the middle, selecting the center vertex from the clothing piece and the center one from the body.

Using "Vertex Data Merge", I join the body vertex to the clothing vertex. This moves the vertex from the lower listed group to meet the vertex from the one higher up the list. (It also matches bone weights to the upper group's vertex.)

For some reason, I didn't take a screenshot until I'd merged the next few vertices. (Maybe I hit the wrong button? I was tired.) So I drew a few arrows onto the screenshot to show what I've merged.

If you see a gap, don't worry, I'll fix that soon.

I keep selecting and merging vertices until I've matched up all of the back's body edge vertices with the nearest clothing edge vertices.

Those gaps you might have noticed? Now I'll deal with those.

Going back "outside" of the mesh and seeing the work I've done on the back, the gaps are much more obvious.

This happens a lot with 4t2 conversions, because TS4 clothes will almost always be higher poly than the TS2 body. This part of the TS2 AF body mesh has three vertices on either side of the center vertex and this particular shirt has four on either side. I fix this by adding new vertices to the body.

First, I select the vertices on either side of the gap. Then, I hide the clothing group. This leaves just the body vertices on either side of the gap selected.

With ONLY these two vertices selected, I use "Vertex > Divide Edge" to make a new vertex between them.

Dividing the edge also divides the face, so the poly count goes up by one each time this is done. And, as you can see, it makes the new face dark. I'll fix that in a moment. I'm focusing on the gap first.

The new vertex is already selected, I select the nearby clothing vertex, and use Vertex Data Merge.

No more gap on that side!

I repeat this on the other side, to close the other gap.

Now to fix those new faces, I first select the vertices all around them. (Zoom in.)

"Align Normals" fixes the dark areas. (This close to the top of the neck, you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure you DON'T align normals on any of the neck edge vertices.)

Looking at it like this, you can see the body group is already taking the shape of the neckline.

This seems like a good place to end part one. Part two coming soon!

#sims 2 tutorial #sims 2 tut

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Faith Bottum

Published: Aug 19, 2023

The California State Board of Education issued on July 12 a new framework for teaching math based on what it calls “updated principles of focus, coherence, and rigor.” The word “updated” is certainly accurate. Not so much “principles,” “focus,” “coherence” or “rigor.” California’s new approach to math is as unfair as it is unserious.

The framework is voluntary, but it will heavily influence school districts and teachers around the Golden State. Developed over the past four years, it runs nearly 1,000 pages. Among the titles of its 14 chapters are “Teaching for Equity and Engagement,” “Structuring School Experiences for Equity and Engagement” and “Supporting Educators in Offering Equitable and Engaging Mathematics Instruction.” The guidelines demand that math teachers be “committed to social justice work” to “equip students with a toolkit and mindset to identify and combat inequities with mathematics”—not with the ability to do math. Far more important is teaching students that “mathematics plays a role in the power structures and privileges that exist within our society.”

California’s education bureaucrats are seeking to reinvent math as a grievance study. “Big ideas are central to the learning of mathematics,” the framework insists, but the only big idea the document promotes is that unequal outcomes in math performance are proof of a racist society.

To achieve equal outcomes, the framework favors the elimination of “tracking,” by which it means the practice of identifying students with the potential to do well. This supposedly damages the mental health of low-achieving students. The problem is that some students simply are better at math than others. To close the gap, the authors of the new framework have decided essentially to eliminate calculus—and to hold talented students back.

The framework recommends that Algebra I not be taught in middle school, which would force the course to be taught in high school. But if the students all take algebra as freshmen, there won’t be time to fit calculus into a four-year high-school program. And that’s the point: The gap between the best and worst math students will become less visible.

As written, the framework appears to violate the California Mathematics Placement Act of 2015, which requires proper courses for advanced students. A petition signed by roughly 6,000 parents and other concerned citizens may have spurred the drafters of the framework to add an amendment that reads, “Students may take Algebra 1 or Mathematics 1 in middle school.” But the completed document still pushes students not to take algebra in middle school. Instead, the framework recommends investigating whether the traditional five-year progression—Algebra I, Geometry, Algebra II, Precalculus (including trigonometry) and Calculus—could be shortened so students would still be able to take calculus during senior year. As it stands now, students must either double up or enroll in a summer course to be able to take calculus—or go to a private school, which students from underprivileged backgrounds can’t afford to do.

A growing opposition from college professors should embarrass the Board of Education. More than 400 professors were incensed by a proposed data-science course as a math track that students might follow instead of Algebra II. “For students to be prepared for STEM and other quantitative majors in 4-year colleges . . . learning Algebra II in high school is essential,” they wrote in an open letter. “This cannot be replaced with a high-school statistics or data-science course, due to the cumulative nature of mathematics.”

Brian Conrad, a mathematics professor at Stanford, has created a website to debunk the framework. He writes that the California framework “selectively cites research to make points it wants to make,” and that it “contains false or misleading descriptions of many citations from the literature in neuroscience, acceleration, de-tracking, assessments, and more.” He gets so worked up that he calls a version of chapters 6 and 7 (which respectively cover kindergarten through fifth grade and sixth through eighth grades) an “embarrassment to professionalism.”

The jargon- and acronym-laden California framework, Mr. Conrad says, “promotes a cartoon view” of how students acquire “reliable mathematical skills.” It is equivalent, he says, to supporting that children need not “learn how to spell because there are spell-checkers and spelling is not part of analytical thinking.” The five-member writing team, supervised by a 20-member oversight team, didn’t collaborate with any recognized STEM experts in industry about what training graduates will need in the workplace, Mr. Conrad says.

“Those who claim to be champions of equity should put more effort and resources into helping all students to achieve real success in learning mathematics,” Mr. Conrad says, “rather than using illegal artificial barriers, misrepresented data and citations, or fake validations to create false optics of success.” California should stop trying to turn math into a social-science course.

--

==

Considering California already underperforms compared to the nation - with an average that never approaches Proficient and barely skims over the top of Basic - the last thing it needs is more students who know more about identity politics and less about actual math.

[ Source: Nation's Report Card - Note: twelfth-grade results not available. ]

#Faith Bottum #Ian Rowe #math #mathematics #woke math #corruption of education #equity #social justice #diversity equity and inclusion #diversity #inclusion #religion is a mental illness

[crossdreamers]

The transphobes’ understanding of womanhood was created by sexist men in the 19th century

Alokvmemnon has presented a great slide show over at Instagram looking into the history of science and how attempts at defining womanhood have aimed at keeping women in check.

As we celebrate the International Women’s Day, this can serve as a reminder of how oppressive narratives do not appear out of nowhere.

The series is based on the book Sexual Science: The Victorian Construction of Womanhood by Dr. Cynthia Russett (Harvard University Press 1991)

TRANSCRIPT

//Often people refuse to accept trans women as women by weaponizing the idea of "biological sex.” They argue that trans women are not women because they are incapable of giving birth like "biological females." They conveniently forget how "biological sex" is a framework that was created by white male scientists in the 19th century specifically to justify discrimination against white women and Black people, Indigenous people, and people of color (BIPOC).

Yale historian Dr. Russet argues that when white women organized for rights in the 19th century, European scientists responded with a "detailed examination of the differences between men and women that justified their differing social roles". For these scientists, issues of race and sex were one and the same. 'They focused specifically on white women  because they thought that the "lesser peoples of Asia and  Africa.. were dispensable whereas white women bore "the future of the race" 

After Darwin's theory of evolution, white male scientists doubled-down on their efforts to deny white women an equal role in society, inserting white women and BIPOC people between themselves and apes in a fabricated racial evolutionary continuum. 'They argued that women were' "inherently different from men in their anatomy, physiology, temperament, and intellect." and that white women "lagged behind men, much as primitive people lagged behind Europeans" in the civilizational hierarchy. German scientist Carl Vogt argued that white women's skulls resembled Black people's skulls more than those of white men. While white men were seen as unique and distinct from one another, white women were seen as "more generic and less specific".

Scientists defined womanhood as the ability to reproduce, arguing  that women's pelvises were proof of "the promise of capable maternity" and describing women as naturally having less sexual desire (if any) than men. White women's fundamental essence was defined as being a reproductive "racial conduit". Canadian scientist Grant Allen argued that white women were "the sex sacrificed for reproductive necessities". If white women deviated from this role as reproducing agents, they were pathologized as  criminal, unsexed, ugly, and abnormal.

Social Darwinist Herbert Spencer argued that confining women at home and preventing them from working was the "touchstone of high civilization," unlike Indigenous and Black communities where women worked. Scientists believed that white women couldn't receive an education or work, because they would lose vital energy that was reserved for reproduction. Ely Van de Warker called this the "penalty of sex" and Herbert Spencer called it "the physical tax which reproduction necessitates." European male scientists concluded that the primary role of white women was to mother, that she had no other "gift to offer but her healthy - and numerous - offspring.

European scientists leveraged the rhetoric of "biology" to naturalize discrimination against women. This wasn't legitimate science based on "reliable data;" instead it was often discussed in their research as "common knowledge". By defining women's whole being and purpose as reproductive, they were able to justify denying women's suffrage and women's mobility as a law of nature, not the result of political choices. Unfortunately, centuries later people continue to use the  rhetoric of science - and not the reality of science - to  justify discrimination against trans trans and intersex people.

It's not science to define womanhood solely by genitalia and reproduction, it's sexism. Womanhood is far more complex and expansive than the ability to give birth.//

Source: Alokvmenon on Instagram.

#trans #transgender #feminism #sexism #lgbt #lgbtqa #terf #gender critical #woman #international women's day #transphobia #history

[mdabdurrajjakmia]

Setting up a Google Advertisements regard is a fairly straightforward process. Then is a brief description of the way involved

#Go_to_Google_Advertisements_Website

launch by visiting the Google Advertisements website( https//ads.google.com/). You will need a Google account to do, so make sure you are inked in with your Google account or produce one if you do not have one formerly.

Click" Start Now"

On the Google Advertisements homepage, click the" Start Now" button to begin the account creation process.

Choose Your Advertising Goals

Google Advertisements will prompt you to elect your advertising pretensions. These pretensions will help Google knitter your crusade recommendations. You can choose from pretensions like website business, leads, deals, brand mindfulness, and more.

Enter Business Information

Fill in your business information, including your website URL and business order. This information will help Google understand your business and target your advertisements effectively.

Set Up Your First crusade

You will be urged to produce your first crusade. This involves setting a crusade name, choosing your target locales, setting a diurnal budget, and opting a bidding strategy. You can also choose announcement extensions and advanced settings if demanded.

produce Your First Ad Group

Within your crusade, you will produce announcement groups. Each announcement group should concentrate on a specific theme or set of keywords. You will set keywords, write announcement dupe, and specify a wharf runner for each announcement group.

Set Up Billing

You will need to give billing information to pay for your advertisements. Google Advertisements generally offers colorful payment styles, including credit/ disbenefit cards and bank accounts. You can also set a billing threshold and payment schedule.

Review and Confirm

Before launching your crusade, review all the settings and configurations to insure they're correct. Double- check your budget, targeting, announcement dupe, and billing details. Once you are satisfied, click the" Confirm" or" Launch" button to start your crusade.

Optimize and Cover

After your crusade is live, regularly cover its performance using the Google Advertisements dashboard. You can make adaptations to your advertisements, keywords, and targeting grounded on the data and perceptivity you gather.

Learn and upgrade

Google Advertisements can be complex, so take the time to learn further about its features and stylish practices. Continuously upgrade your juggernauts to ameliorate their effectiveness and ROI.

Flash back that Google Advertisements is a important advertising platform, and success frequently comes with trial and ongoing optimization. It's also a good idea to consult Google's sanctioned attestation and consider taking Google Advertisements instrument courses to come complete in managing your juggernauts effectively.

#bdoutsourcingnt #bdoutsourcingnet #GoogleAdsense #googleadsmanager #GoogleAdsCTR #advertising #advertisement #digitalmarketing #digitalmarketingagency #usa #uk #canada #SEO #seomarketing #websiteseo #websiteseoservices #audience #keywordresearch #googleadswords #googleads #facebookmarketing

[homestuckshipcesttournament]

Hello! Could you possibly post advice or any useful tolls to making a tournament with brackets. I'm interested in doing this for another fandom. Thank you for any help you offer and thank you for hosting this tournament. (I was rooting for DaveDirk, rip DaveDirk.)

I can do my best! This is my first real tournament, though I'm running some smaller ones on @postinghomestuckpolls, and your mileage may vary depending on what exactly you got going on. This is going to be just as I think of things rather than in any particular order. Feel free to send another ask if you have follow up questions! And anyone else reading this feel free to add your own tips!

Are you doing this manually or using a bracket generator? I'm going to figure out a way to do it manually for the next time, but as of now, I don't have any good tips for that As for bracket generators, there are only two I really recommend, depending on the size of your tournament

Dunia Games is what I'm using for this one. It's an indonesian website primarily aimed at esports. It's got a bunch of functions I'm not using because this is just for a poll blog lol You can create up to 256 entries and shuffle the bracket once it's created. You can make a single elimination, double elimination (what I'm doing), or battle royale. One funny thing is I have not figured out how to delete a bracket. If you figure it out let me know lol

Bracket HQ is one I prefer, but it only allows you to add 32 entries for free and 64 for their paid membership. It allows single elimination, double elimination, round robin, and group stage. I do prefer this because it's easier to move around the entrants -- there's a drag and drop, while with DG you have to retype things.

If you're doing more than 256 entries.... I think you're going to have to do manual. Dunia Games was the only thing I found that allowed that many for free after some research.

Seeding Honestly I did not do a great job with seeding, but I didn't do the worst. The problem is, with the two bracket generators I mentioned, you can't manually change the seeds. You have to adjust the order the entrants are entered. What I tried to do was look up all the fandom heavy hitters -- I searched on AO3 for the most popular ships based on tags and grouped all those ships together so they wouldn't be against each other first round. Then I kinda grouped on themeing after that, but honestly I think I should have done more research. I'll def have better data to work off of with this tournament

Get things prepared ahead of time If you're anything like me, you're going to want to jump in as soon as you have the idea (I blame this on adhd lol), but you're going to want to have the first round drafted before you start posting. This might lead to you realizing you filled out some of the entries wrong, or that a seed is really lopsided, or that you don't have all the assets you need, or something is really weird so maybe you want to poll about it first. I jumped the gun on mine which led to Calcest vs Rose/Roxy in the first round.

Starting Polls Starting polls are a great way to figure out how to structure your tournament and generate some interest! I'm still getting plenty of new followers as we enter the semifinals, but you want to start your tournament with as much of a following as you reasonably can so fewer people are coming in late and missing out on earlier rounds. Also, again, it's great to see what direction you should take on certain things, though to me a poll result doesn't mean you absolutely have to stick with the winning answer. Sometimes it's like a coinflip -- there to see what you actually want to happen. Though what sort of starting polls you may need is highly dependent on your tournament. Homestuck is so fucking wild I have to figure out what counts as incest lmao

Make your rules clear from the jump A rule I didn't think to add until the late game and only because someone was doing it on my previously mentioned other poll blog is no cheating/no using alt accounts for votes! Some blogs do allow this, so it's important to let people know where you stand on it so they either no to not or, if you allow it, how much you allow it, like if you're okay with people programming their own bots to create accounts or not (big point of discourse in a shipcest tournament that concluded a couple months ago). Also other rules! I don't know what they may be for you! Maybe how much character/ship/whatever hate/flaming you'll allow. I'm honestly thinking about making those little end of the post forum signature ass banners for my other poll blog and for this one for the future, but I don't know if seeing them feels inherently obnoxious? Maybe something for a starting poll!

EDIT:

Oh! Having a tagging system is helpful!

Tagging each round of your tournament is so helpful especially for yourself so you can go back and see the results of specific rounds without just having to scroll through the whole dang thing. Make those tags and links for yourself. Just. Never hurts to have a lot of organization lol

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That's all I can think of for now, though like I said, any more questions or any tips from anyone else are always welcome!

#ask jax #Anonymous #anon #jax yacks #tournaments #tournament tips #not a poll