#idk how lights work tho so it might not look like it follows the laws of physics <\3

[npdflowey]

go camilo go!!!!

#his hands are so expressive it was so fun to draw #also played with lights a bit #camilo madrigal #encanto #fanart #art #idk how lights work tho so it might not look like it follows the laws of physics <\3

[morifinwes]

Lauraa I finished all the fics, apart from decay (currently reading that now) and I love it sm! Especially the lip gloss one lmao the whole thing was so hilarious to me XD but also like the concept of lwj wearing lipgloss is >>> -yibobibo

@yibobibo then i'm going to rec you some more!! the lip gloss one was !!!!! ajsksks yes!! lwj wearing lipgloss is just so!! good!!

modern

this one is the painful one i talked about:

visitations by var_abelasan (12K, wip, divorced wangxian, post divorce, most of this is angst, uhm lowkey don't but also do want wangxian to end up together, it's messy, the jiangs & lans are shitty, wwx was in prison (brief mentions of that but it's kind of a major plot point), mxy & xy are the little brothers he never wanted but wwx picked them up anyways)

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry." 

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine. 

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

 

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

please don't let me be misunderstood by sysrae (3K, partly deaf!wwx, lwj notices, nobody else does though, idk wwx is like made out of fucking steel or some shit)

Lan Wangji has known Wei Ying for a fortnight, the first time he sees him get hit by a car.

light by redkosmos (10K, blind!lwj, which causes angst, but they manage it, best friends to lovers, fluff, lwj being insecure and feeling like a burden, college au kind of? but it doesn't matter too much)

The realization slowly dawns on him.

He can never again see the brightness of Wei Ying's eyes, the way they crescent when he smiles, never again see the rich black of his hair, the mess of it in the early mornings, never again see the beautiful tan of his skin, the beauty of the scars and marks adorned on it, how he wears his clothes, how it hugs his frame beautifully, how he looks like he's adorably swimming in cloth when he wears Lan Zhan's, and-

(Lan Zhan loses his vision in a car accident and learns to cope with it.)

don't leave me by trippinonskies (19K, brief very brief mention of lwj cheating, he doesn't but wwx is afraid lwj is cheating on him or just wants to break up with him, (he doesn't), marriage proposal, lwj acting distant = wwx's insecurities show up, fluff, angst and comfort)

Lan Zhan! Where are you lost today?” Wei Wuxian finally asks, at the end of his patience.

Lan Zhan looks a little guilty as he looks at Wei Wuxian, “Sorry, just a lot of work to deal with.”

Lie.

If there is one thing Lan Zhan can’t do, it’s lying. Especially to Wei Wuxian. But he doesn’t question Lan Zhan. He just accepts the reply, too scared to know that he is right. Too scared to know the truth.

// or where Lan Zhan is too hung up in planning the perfect proposal and ends up accidently ignoring Wei Wuxian making the other think that he wants to break up //

want you closer by xiaobucephalus ((3K, HORSES, only in the background tho, but wwx is an equestrian vet, which is so fucking valid bro, the lans own horses, a sick bunny, lwj the bunny parent!, super cute, dark bay throughoutbred chenqing is honestly so valid)

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed again, his voice warming the chill of fear that had settled in his chest. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into your hutch for a while anyway.”

safe in your thoughts by anonymous (20K, it's a cherry magic au???? (i haven't watched it, but you have i think?), horny lwj but only for wwx (always for wwx))

Wei Wuxian learns three very important things on the night of his twenty-seventh birthday.

One, that Lan Wangji is ridiculously funny, which Wei Wuxian had known before but what Wei Wuxain hadn’t expected was Lan Wangji to be funny at his brother’s expense.

Two, that Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad, absolutely mental at the ripe age of twenty seven because nothing else would explain the third thing he had learnt.

Third, and the most unbelievable of the lot, that Lan Wangji wants to fuck him.

iura by yoo_im_finally_writing (1K, only added bcs op is right and wwx would've the cutest german accent, it's more fun if you understand german so hit me up if you want translations for the german sentences)

Wei Ying calls in the middle of the night to talk about German law, and Lan Zhan tries very hard not to fall asleep. Or at least, not to let Wei Ying notice he's falling asleep. (As best friends do.)

breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm / @neverdoingmuch (27K, getting together, jealous!lwj, but also kind of supportive, brief mention of cheating bcs of miscommunication, no actual cheating tho, college au, lwj pov)

Following Wei Ying’s line of sight, Lan Wangji can barely prevent a smile from crossing his lips when he sees the short row of rabbit statuettes placed at the front of the display. Silver, with bright gems for eyes, they look elegant yet lively and animated.

“A-Yuan would love one of those,” Wei Ying murmurs, almost as if to himself.

Lan Wangji frowns; the rabbits, while cute, don’t seem like a suitable gift for Wei Ying’s A-Yuan.

...

It’s only when he glances back at the rabbits and notices what has been placed on display behind them, that the pieces fall into place. They’re engagement rings, there’s no doubt about it. Lan Wangji feels his heart sink – Wei Ying isn’t just dating A-Yuan, he wants to propose to him.

Or: the five times Lan Wangji thinks that A-Yuan is Wei Ying’s boyfriend and the one time he learns the truth.

paint smears on sunny days by snowshadowao3 / @angstsexual (53K, getting together, art teacher!wwx, single parent!lwj, they're rich if i remember right, wwx & lwj are both good with kids!!!, this is so good actually, fluff)

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

no bunny compares by gusucloudbunny (4K, god this is cute, fluff)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cornered his friend one week before his birthday. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow at Wei Wuxian, not exactly sure how to answer that question in a truthful manner that didn’t involve confessing his undying love for his best friend.

Wei Wuxian is on a mission to get Lan Wangji the perfect gift for his birthday. What Wei Wuxian doesn't know is that the only thing Lan Wangji truly wants is him.

wei wuxian's week of realizing things by photojenny (12K, i have read this multiple times, i always forget what happens, idk why but my notes say it's good, the tags say drunkji makes an appearance and i'm always up for that)

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?" asked Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji blinked, and stared. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had questioned the perceptiveness of the boy he had a crush on. Wei Wuxian had been smart in the class they had taken together. Yet time and time again, Wei Wuxian had tested the old wisdom that there are no stupid questions.

---

Lan Wangji must figure out how to confess when Wei Wuxian is the most oblivious person he's ever met.

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (1K, crack, fluff, lwj stop flirting with a stranger, even if he is your husband, drunkji but make it to max level)

Lan Zhan wakes up and he has no idea where he is.

There are bright lights and his jaw hurts, he doesn't who this man next to his bed is but oh he might be in love, maybe, probably, definitely.

–

based off that guy-forgets-who-his-wife-is-and-hits-on-her vid but its wangxian.

beep! goes his heart by wearing_tearing (3K, fluff, lwj is like "he, he likes me right? he likes me" and everyone is like "yes, yes he does")

“Wei Ying’s heart monitor,” Lan Wangji starts.

Wen Qing blinks at him. “Yes?”

“It beeps.”

“That’s… what they generally do, yes.”

“The beeps change,” Lan Wangji continues, “when others are around.”

*

Wei Ying’s heart only sings for Lan Wangji.

canon

obedient and bellicose by thunderwear (19K, lwj is cursed by the lan elders, they notice too late, fix-it fic kind of?, lqr being a good uncle and lxc is a good brother, wwx accidentally uses the curse but he doesn't know about it)

It took Lan Wangji a long time to realize he was cursed. Too long really, anyone else would have noticed so much sooner. The problem was, he liked following the rules.

Ella Enchanted AU that no one needed but I wanted.

hello my old heart, how have you been? by ravenditefairylights (10K, amnesia, fluff, wwx taking care of lwj, so much fluff and softness, angst too but not that much)

The issue is, Lan Wangji brings his thoughts back before they stray too far, that it is impossible for someone to be in his bed, unless Lan Wangji himself invited them. He has not. He would remember doing so, and besides, all his night clothes are still on and there is no headache to imply that he was inebriated last night. No, the situation is simple.

There is someone in Lan Wangji’s bed. It is impossible for anyone to be in Lan Wangji’s bed, and yet that doesn’t seem to have stopped the stranger.

or lan wangji wakes up, and wei ying is there. he doesn't understand how or why, and he can understand even less why his hallucination of wei ying is so insistent on bathing him, and braiding his hair, on holding him and fixing his clothes. why the hallucination of wei ying seems so happy to see him.

teach me the way by likeafox (58K, rogue cultivator!wwx, horny wangxian, lwj wants wwx to teach him how to be a good lover, ....wwx is a virgin, the porn is the plot, but there's less of it than i thought)

"I do not wish to leave my future spouse… dissatisfied with my intimate knowledge,” Lan Zhan says, very seriously. “I am hoping to find an instructor, to better prepare myself for such matters."

Wei Ying feels his mouth drop open. He's pretty sure the Second Jade of Lan just told him he's a virgin who wants to learn how to do sex good.

Rogue Cultivator Wei Wuxian is the stuff of local legends. Some of those legends are even true! The ones about his tremendous experience in bed, on the other hand, are not so true. Which becomes a problem when Lan Wangji, on the verge of an arranged marriage and worried he won’t know how to please his future spouse, enlists Wei Ying's help to teach him the art of love-making. Wei Ying's great at improvisation, though, and is pretty sure he's got this sex mentor thing under control. What could possibly go wrong

other aus

of god: my love unholy by tunnelodfawn (3K, tw blood / war, dark!lwj, god!wwx, kind of poetry)

Lan Zhan takes everything as a sign from his god. The blood staining his fingertips—a holy anointment. He sanctifies himself through blood. The strings of his guqin gleam red in the sun—a divine blessing. This is an instrument of destruction. A single note—a cry of power—and in this note the voice of his god unravels the earthly threads tethering man to earth.

The Yiling Patriarch blesses Lan Zhan with war. Wei Wuxian blesses Lan Zhan with agility. Wei Ying blesses Lan Zhan with love.

The base of the Yiling Patriarch’s shrine is the home of Lan Zhan’s knees. He worships. There is something of the blasphemous and the unholy in his prayers. He prays not for victory but for the sight of Wei Ying. Bless me with your presence, he begs.

Or, wherein, Lan Zhan bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine—the worshipper and the god—with blood.

the river and the sea by sasamelons / @sasamelons (7K, soulmate au, arranged marriage (wangxian with each other), they're both kind of dumb but i love it)

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, wishing to just be left alone. "I am looking for my soulmate," he ground out.

"Oh."

It took Lan Wangji a few moments to realize that Wei Wuxian had stopped following him. When he looked back, the other boy seemed to be frozen to the spot, eyes wide and lips still parted. He quickly looked away when he saw Lan Wangji looking back. "I see. Well, have a good trip!"

--

At six years old, Lan Zhan met his soulmate on the streets of Yiling and promptly lost him again.

At sixteen years old, Lan Wangji met his betrothed and was determined not to like him.

#so...i realized i forgot to check the things i already listed but? i tried to avoid listing fics twice? #yes i've mostly been reading oneshots these past few weeks idk why but i can't seem to find any long fics #or at least not ones that i like #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #wangxian fics #mdzs #mdzs fic #cql fic #the untamed #aamna tag #we're almost through the rec list now? i have so much open but idk why i add so few #i'm just really picky when it comes to which ones to write down and which ones not #and then this became a kind of comfort list? #idk? #but also ANGST #not Angst but ANGST #fun fact: Angst means fear in german

[knivestothroats]

I’m going over all my knives at the request of @untilthepainstarts​! It’s gonna be lengthy, so I’m putting it under a readmore

This is the first knife I ever bought after I turned 18. It doesn’t really matter how old you are if you order them online (there will just be a disclaimer like “we are trusting you to follow your own state’s laws”), but that’s neither here nor there. This one’s got the works! Partially serated blade, assisted opening, glass breaker, seatbelt cutter, obviously marketed for hunting zombies. I usually keep it in the center console of my car. I kind of fell out of habit of naming all my knives (even tho I should), but since this was my first one, it got a name: Dickslayer. (As in slayer of dicks. I was 18. No regrets.)

This one was a gift from my mom. Has my initials engraved in the handle. Folding, but no assisted opening. I keep this one on my desk to open packages and stuff. Sometimes if I’m going to a nice event I’ll take this one instead of one my regular carry pocket knives. I really don’t go anywhere without a knife just for that rare occasion someone needs to open something.

Name: Pearl. 

Stiletto blade, but only one edge because it’s assisted opening, as opposed to a switchblade which would have sharp edges on both sides. Basically any folding knife will have one blunt edge so you can push it closed. Idk if this is general knowledge, but any time my friends use one of my knives they never know how to close it, so I don’t think it is. Anyway this is one of my favorites. Just a sleek, classic look to it, you know? Says “Stiletto” on the blade in cursive.

I don’t really have a name for this one, I just refer to it as “Drop Dead.” This one was a gift from my friend and became my regular use knife after I lost the rainbow/oil slick one. The requirements for it to be my regular use knife are: small but not tiny, assisted opening. I mosty use it to open boxes and packages at work. However, it’s missing a screw near the top, which means I should retire it from regular use soon before I break it. 

This one doesn’t strictly have a name, but I usually refer to it as “Cleaver” in my head. Not very creative, which I don’t want to commit to saying that’s its name. Damascus steel. Spring loaded but no assisted opening lever. You know how some people have stim toys? Well one time I had this knife on me while at an awkward dinner so I fiddled with it under the table while waiting for my food. I gave that trait to Ace.

Name: Talon.

Folding karambit, as you said! Assisted opening. For Christmas a couple years ago I couldn’t think of anything to ask for, and also I was looking at apartments, so I sent my mom a screenshot from Bob’s Burger’s where Louise’s xmas list was “1. My own apartment 2. Towels (for the apartment) 3. A doll where the head comes off and it’s a knife” so my mom got me a baby doll and this knife, but she couldn’t get the head off the doll so she just jammed the knife into its forehead lmaooo

I had another knife that I specifically bought before going on a trip because I never go anywhere without a knife, but I wasn’t sure if I could get one past security on the plane. So I bought a new knife, knowing I might lose it. I put it in my checked bag and it made it through! But then I lost it when I tried to stash it before a security checkpoint at the Hoover Dam X_x

So later on that trip I bought this knife at Zion National Park. My friend has a matching one that says “Wild Thing” because we used to follow a local band called the Wild Things. This knife is pretty sharp but the handle is flimsy as shit. 

My mom brought this home from a flea market for me. You can tell it’s old, but it’s sturdy as shit. They don’t make ‘em like they used to, I guess. This would probably be my regular carry if it had assisted opening. I just really like to be able to open knives one-handed if I need to. Actually I pulled this out a group hang out and was talking about it and my friends told me to do knife reviews on youtube. Idk if they were joking but I was like “don’t tempt me...”

I should probably come up with a name for this one. I’m sure there are good bear-based names.

This is the first fixed blade (non-folding) knife on the list. I saw it at an army navy surplus store, and I had to buy it because it looks like a junior version of my bowie.

Name: Odyssey. Did I just come up with that name? Yes. It’s the name of a scifi dnd homebrew I’m a part of. I was not going to do the obvious thing and name it David.

It may look decorative, but it is defiitely sharp. This is the only knife I have ever cut myself on. (It was just a nick - I was holding the sheath too close to the opening.) I think this was also my first knife that wasn’t a pocket knife so I was like “holy shit this guy is heavy!” 

This motherfucker is definitely not legal!!! I found it at a shop on the reservation that had signs up saying “no pictures.” (I think that’s because they were also selling bongs and stuff. Shop was attached to a lovely cafe.) The knuckles are pretty much just for show because I can’t really form a fist around the handle. I mean, the whole thing is for show unless I decide to murder someone because I’m not exactly opening envelopes with this bad boy. But yeah, knuckle dusters are illegal in my state (if not all), and I know trench knives - which are a similar style - are illegal, but trench knives are a combo of a bayonet blade and knuckle dusters, both of which are illegal. Oh you know what? I have an antique bayonet somewhere...

Also I’ve definitely scratched myself on that spike at the end. 

And finally... the Keyblade! You know how I said earlier that I carry knives for that shining moment someone needs to open something? In most cases I just use this knife anyway because it’s the least likely to freak someone out.

Just for a bonus, here are my (non-blunted) swords

The second one is just as red; it’s just the lighting. 

I have a video of me cutting a watermelon in half somewhere....

#knives #original #knifeposting

[wongxiexie]

False pretenses

Pairing: Kim Jongdae (Chen) x Reader ft. Kim Minseok Genre: Angst, Historical!AU Word Count: 8.372 words Warnings: Death, Violence Note: The photo’s from Chen’s website. I deleted the chapters I uploaded here and decided to stick everything into a finished one shot instead. HAHA Idk why but this fic has caused me great stress because of how unorganized I was and how loose I think everything is hahaha. Tried my best to fix it tho, hope you enjoy! 🌸🌸

A rough hand holds your chin and tilts your face to the side, exposing the blooming dark bruise on your left cheek and causing it to sting.

“Your insolence will be your downfall,” Minseok says as he clicks his tongue, blatantly expressing his disapproval towards your misdemeanor.

“Your Majesty,” you stare at him as you remove his hand lightly, “if you may.”

He releases your face but his sharp eyes stay rooted to yours. “See? Insolent.”

The warm golden light from outside shines through the open window and Minseok turns to soak in it, his face blank as he loops his arms behind him.

To an outsider, the scene might look like a peaceful one but that can’t be further from the truth. The tension is palpable as everyone inside the quarters await for his next words and after what felt like hours, Minseok waves his right arm to dismiss all the servants present.

Soft steps quickly pad towards the doorway as the sock-clad hand-maids rush to flee the room.

“If I may ask,” you start as you move to stand beside him. “Did something unfortunate happen before I moved here?”

You relish the soft touch of the wind on your face and continue, “I have only been here for a few months, but I have noticed how terrified and on edge the people seem to be.”

Glancing at him, you think you see a slight crease form between his brows, but it’s gone before you can dwell on it.

In response, he angles his face to you and lets a smirk fall on his lips. “I think you are missing the point here...”

“You have only been here for a few months, but your impudence is unlike any other I have witnessed before.” He shifts slightly towards you and raises a brow, “it is rather unbecoming, Princess.”

Heat crawls up your neck upon embarrassment from his words and you look down to break eye contact. Subconsciously, your hand goes up to touch the bruise on your face.

It wasn’t an easy task for you to get your bearings in Silla. Having grown from an entirely different kingdom, there were customs and practices you’ve grown habitual to that were not, in any way, acceptable in your new home.

With the recent happenings in Baekje the year prior because of the invasion, you were forced to go to Silla to negotiate and appeal for the monarchy to protect your people. So many were killed when your kingdom was attacked, but you know you had to protect those that were left. That meant setting aside any of your dreams, wants and needs.

For a princess like you, you know your personal desires do not matter. Nothing matters except for the safety of the remaining people of your kingdom. It was your ultimate duty to protect your people, after all, first and foremost.

That meant hours of working to know the practices and culture of your new home, and appealing to the royal family.

Back in your hometown, you were allowed to mingle with the commoners. In fact, those of royal descent were encouraged to do so to be able to foster strong and genuine unity among the residents under your jurisdiction.

That way, it was easier to implement laws and prevent crimes. In your opinion, it was also delightful to live in harmonious relationship with the people, not just for yourself, but for political reasons as well.

With that system in place in Baekje, there were never any successful attempts at overthrowing the royal family because the people were with the heads of the kingdom.

Which was why you were caught off-guard when the King himself rose from his throne and struck your face when you softly suggested asking the residents of Silla about their living conditions under the current monarchy.

The King and his magistrates were all in shock of your apparently preposterous proposal that there came a chorus of audible gasps around the hall as soon as you uttered those words.

Next thing you know, you were down on the ground, with your left cheek throbbing in pain.

You didn’t know how to react to what happened. You couldn’t understand the murmurs around you, and just barely registered your lady in waiting assisting you by the arm and leading you towards the Prince’s chambers.

You’ve only somewhat processed what happened when you arrived in Minseok’s room and he grabbed your chin.

“I sincerely apologize for what I propositioned in the congregation earlier,” you say, looking abashed, “I honestly had no idea that it was frowned upon here in Silla.”

“Well, I am sure by now you understand that we royals do not wish to stain our hands in dealing with commoners,” the Prince comments in obvious fashion.

Your head snap towards his direction, the disbelief apparent on your face as you never knew Silla to be as disconnected to their people as they are showing right now.

“But, Your Highness, they are your people!” comes your abrupt and almost offended response.

The next second, all you can see is Minseok’s palm near your face. 

You are too stunned about the sudden movement that you only start breathing again after realizing he didn’t hit you.

“You see, Princess,” Minseok says your title so condescendingly that it makes goosebumps erupt on your skin. The hand that once posed to hit you move to caress your cheek in a false comforting manner instead.

“May I remind you that even if you were of high stature in Baekje, you are nobody here if not for my family’s deal with your remaining kin.”

He grabs your shoulders and briskly turns you to look outside, “You see those people?” he says as he guides you to look at passing citizens. “They know nothing about you except for the fact that you failed to protect your kingdom.”

A shiver runs down your spine at Minseok’s proximity and you can feel his breath on your neck with how he is standing behind you. But more than anything, the harsh reminder of the reality of your failure causes pain to bloom in your chest.

Steeling yourself to not let the Prince see your watery eyes, you try to excuse yourself from his presence.

You open your mouth but fail to produce any sound as images of your people being killed flash through your mind. Tears start to form on your eyes, but you bite your lower lip to prevent any sobs from escaping.

Minseok immediately picks up on the shudder in your breath and turns you gently to face him.

“Do not worry, my future Queen,” he says mockingly as he wipes the few stray tears on your cheeks.

He kisses your forehead and looks at you, “I will make sure you will be happy here.”

You swear you have never seen eyes more blank than Minseok has when he smiles at you.

...

Outside, hiding in the shadows, stands a young man with gentle features bearing witness to the exchange. He balls his hands into fists and descends down the alley away from the palace.

——

The day was a serene one, what with the wind gently rustling the leaves in the landscape that surround you. A vibrant blue hovers over you, littered with enough scattered clouds that allow just the right amount of sunlight to grace your skin.

‘What a pleasant day,’ you note… if not for the boisterous laughter coming from the men standing in the archery range.

If there is one thing you are thankful for the etiquette classes you’ve attended since you can remember, it would be the skill you acquired in schooling your features into a neutral look to prevent unsightly expressions from overtaking your face.

You want to frown so bad at the things happening around you.

Sitting as still as a rock, you keep your blank face pointed straight towards the loud men supposed to be of some of the highest blood lines.

Inside, you’re wondering how those men were treated growing up.

Tinkling giggles snap you out of your momentary stupor and you realize you have just unknowingly spaced out. You turn towards the noblewomen watching and follow their gazes fixated on the practicing men.

Years of strict etiquette classes couldn’t have prevented the frown that immediately settles on your face upon seeing the ruckus on the field.

A servant is down on the floor clutching his stomach. The noblemen are obviously ganging up on the smaller man and you grimace when you see the tallest one, Lord Chanyeol from House Park, land a rather strong kick towards the man’s side.

You whip your head to look at the Prince beside you, awaiting any orders you’re sure he would bark out to stop the servant from getting beaten up, but the air is almost knocked out from your lungs when you see him sitting at ease, an amused smirk dancing on his lips.

Indignation rises from within you and you walk determinedly towards the men.

When you are within earshot, you stop and clear your throat. Keeping your chin up, you look at the three as they stop their assault.

“My lords,” you say with a surprisingly stable voice.

The youngest was the first to turn to you. Lord Sehun from House Oh. How can you forget when his family is easily one of the most powerful and most ruthless in Silla?

He stands up straight and stares you down, his height serving as an intimidation on its own as he lets an inscrutable expression fall on his face. After a few seconds of looking at you, he bows and offers his hand. Placing yours on his, you have to suppress the shiver that goes down your spine the moment his warm lips touch the back of your hand.

As if possible, he towers even more over you as he straightens back up.

“Princess [Y/N],” you look at the voice that addressed you and you try to smile at him -- Lord Jongin, one of the Prince’s closest cousins. You have met him once when you just arrived in Silla. He seemed kind back then, which made you realize first impressions really were often incorrect since you can never erase from your mind the image of him beheading one of his poor servants who tried to steal bread for his famished daughter.

He greets you as Sehun did, and Chanyeol follows after.

The three stand tall in front of you, shoulders squared and backs straight in what is supposed to be a posture of giving proper respect to those of royal blood, but it only serves to remind you of how low they actually think of you behind the formalities they impose when you face them.

The action rather intimidates you, but you have to steel your nerves for the servant on the ground who is already coughing up blood.

“I was watching you,” you clear your throat, “and I couldn’t help but be curious.”

“Pray tell, may you, what did the lowly servant do to warrant the punishment you have just given him?” you almost blanch at the horrible thing that left your mouth, but you know you have to appeal to their good side.

A glimmer of approval seems to appear in the eyes of Chanyeol and Sehun, but Jongin outright smirks at your agreeable countenance.

Chanyeol toes the head of the servant and angles it towards you. “This dimwitted lowlife thought he could waste our time with his slow services.”

“And as if that is not foolish enough, he even stepped on my foot,” Sehun spat.

Your hands involuntarily ball into fists at their shallow reasons and you almost hit Chanyeol’s face if only it doesn’t spell death for you if you actually pushed through. Good thing your hands are hidden under the sleeves of your hanbok.

“I see,” you glance at the beaten man on the floor. “Let’s not waste our energy on a servant. Please continue on with your training, we’ll see to it that he gets what he deserves.”

You wave two of your personal guards over and instruct them to take the servant away. As discreetly as you can, you whisper to the one closest to you to take care of the beaten man.

When the servant is dragged away, you turn towards the noblemen and bid them luck and safety with their archery.

Going back to your place beside Minseok, you lock eyes with him and you almost stop. He is looking at you as if he knows exactly what you did, a cold and calculating glimmer present in his eyes.

“Fraternizing with the royalty, aren’t you?” he follows you with his gaze until you settle on your seat. “Make sure you do not get caught when you do something foolish.”

You breathe deeply to calm your racing heart, but it almost immediately picks up speed with what he says next. “You would not want your people to suffer because of your idiocy, would you?”

He fixes you with another piercing stare and all you can do is look at him and nod.

In a rare burst of confidence, you place your right hand above his left, “I would not do anything against your will, or the will of Silla, my Prince.”

His expression remains unreadable as he intertwines his fingers with yours.

“I have grown quite fond of you, Princess,” Minseok is already looking straight ahead as he speaks. It would be an understatement to say you are surprised by his words, but you know better than to relax around him. You almost want to, but he continues speaking.

“…and I would not want you to find out what happens to those who go behind my back.”

——

That night, you sneak out of your room, disguised as a commoner and wearing your lady-in-waiting’s clothes. You perfectly know you cannot trust anyone in Silla, but if you are to name exceptions, they would be your two personal guards and your personal servant.

Yerim is a young woman assigned to you when you arrived at the palace. She just recently became an adult but already has the sense of responsibility and discipline as that of the older servants. She helps you dress in her clothes and walks with you to the stables where you were informed you could find the man from earlier that day.

A gasp fights its way out of your mouth when you see the state he is in.

Seated on the ground with a mere thin stack of hay acting as a cushion for him, you can see his face bloodied and bruised badly to the point where he seems like he just got out of a fight.

You kneel in front of him and grasp his face gently. Slowly bringing your right hand to his face, it feels like cold water was doused over you when he flinches from your touch.

He thought you were going to hit him…

A grim realization washes over you. You claim to abhor the apathy of the royal family, but in the end, are you any different than them? It has almost been a year since you arrived, but have you done anything for the people there?

All you are thinking about is Baekje, and you feel shame over the harsh reality that you have been turning a blind eye to the struggles of the people of Silla.

You place your hand gently on his cheek, bringing him to face you. It is dark inside the stables with only a few torches lit, but you can see with the faint light that his eyes still hold traces of tears.

“I am so sorry for what they did to you,” you say in a quiet, ashamed voice.

The man raises his eyes to meet yours, albeit shyly and a little scared.

“There is nothing for you to apologize about, My Lady,” he speaks in an equally hushed tone.

You bring your gaze down, not being able to look at him anymore because of how you failed to protect someone yet again, but still, you try to face him.

“May I know your name?”

Mild shock paints his features at your request, but he answers nonetheless. “Chen, Your Majesty. My name is Chen.”

You will yourself to smile, conveying at least a bit of comfort for his pain-riddled body as you bring out the small bag of coins you took with you to give to him.

“Please use this to buy supplies so you can have your bruises and wounds properly treated.” He seems to want to give it back but you enclose his hand with both of yours and push it gently towards him.

“I am sorry if this is all the help I can give for now,” you apologize earnestly. “But I swear I will take care of the people of Silla. I will help all those who need help.”

You gaze at him but this time, he diverts his eyes from you and stays quiet, not at all saying anything back. With his quietness, you guess you have overstayed your welcome so you stand up to leave.

As you are about to exit the stables, you hear him speak faintly. “Thank you,” he says so quietly, you almost don’t hear him.

You turn around and let out a tender smile. “You’re always welcome,” you say truthfully.

——

The coldness of the night makes its presence known, sending goosebumps to erupt on your arms and legs even with the thick clothing wrapped around your body.

Black paints the night sky and is littered with a few stars here and there, twinkling as if the light they have can’t be contained just within their vessels. As if there was so much light in them that they have to share it with the world.

That thought puts a small smile on your face. 

Glancing upwards, you gaze at the stars in the sky and you thank whatever gods are alive that at least someone or something, from somewhere in the world still want to share their light with you.

The smile falls fast from your lips, however, and your eyes divert from above towards the lands in full view from your place atop one of the upper floors of the castle.

Standing on the balcony connected to your chambers, you admire the few people going about and preparing for the night. There isn’t much to see, honestly, since the citizens of the capital tend to keep to themselves, as you have noticed.

Most of the nobles do not like you anyway, so you guess there aren’t any problems not seeing them more often. Well, the people don’t like you, noble or not.

Longing and frustration can only begin to describe what you have been feeling as of late.

Your heart yearns to be back in Baekje where your friends and family are, where your people are. You perfectly understand why you have to be in Silla and of course, you aren’t going to just up and leave to run back to those who care about you. 

But you just can’t fight the loneliness you always feel.

In all your time in your new home, you have seen nothing but cruelty and felt nothing but negative emotions. You always have to be strong in front of the others so the wolves they call nobles won’t tear you to pieces.

It feels like everyone is just waiting for you to snap and give up, to be the downfall of your own kingdom. You feel like they’re predators just waiting for you, the weak little prey, to make the mistake of getting out of your protective shell and into their domain.

The pressure is always so intense and ever-present, especially when you’re with the Crown Prince. You will be wed to him, tied to him for the rest of your life, all for the protection that Silla can provide for your people. You need to marry him and your feelings do not at all matter, especially in the grand scheme of things.

You know that… but sometimes he can be so, so cruel. 

Members of Minseok’s royal guard discovered spies disguised as servants and they didn’t hesitate to make them known to the public. They chained them to poles on the capital grounds and burned them to death.

You sat beside the Crown Prince throughout the whole ordeal and while you couldn’t even get yourself to spare a glance at the suspects out of sheer horror of what’s happening, you found that the situation wasn’t the same with him. The smile that he wore was so cold, so unaffected and so self-assured. 

He was amused by the spectacle in front of him.

Later that day, you accompanied the prince to honor Lord Chanyeol and Lord Sehun, the highest-ranking elite nobles from the royal guard. They discovered the spies and proposed the punishment they thought fit for those who committed treason.

You weren’t keen on seeing them again after you’ve just witnessed them terrorize an innocent servant a couple of weeks back, but there you were beside Minseok, fake-smiling and bestowing honor to them for successfully protecting the kingdom from perpetrators.

The enthusiasm was proper, and you agreed. After all, the kingdom was saved from what could have possibly been a catastrophic event. However, you didn’t concur with the way they treated the men. They were the enemy, but that did not mean that they should die a horrible death. However, it seemed like the people of the kingdom were all too happy to assert their dominance over their enemies.

Especially the Prince. 

The same one you were supposed to entrust your life to.

A choked sob makes its way up your throat and you don’t even try to fight it.

Nobody will hear you because you are alone anyway, always have been since you moved to Silla. Usually, your lady-in-waiting is there with you, but you sent her free for the night. Even though it is her duty to attend to you, deep inside you feel that she wouldn’t want to if she was given the option.

You heave a deep sigh and walk towards the hallway, wanting to get out and take a walk. Sliding the door open as you wipe your tears, you are surprised to find an equally startled man standing outside your chambers, eyes wide and mouth a bit open.

He quickly falls to his knees and pushes his head to the ground in a low bow. In your shock, you bend down and grasp his arms to pull him up from his kneeling position.

“Chen?” you call his name when you get a good look at his face, recognizing the servant you helped a few weeks ago.

“Princess…” he says in a quiet, unsure voice. He looks visibly flustered because of the proximity so you quickly let go of your hold on him.

Clearing your throat, you begin to ask him. “What are you doing here?”

He hesitates for a moment and averts his eyes from you before meeting your stare again with his own meek one. “I was passing through the corridors for my final duties of the night…”

“I heard somebody crying and looked for the source. I wanted to see if I could be of some help.”

Your heart skips a beat and a tear runs down your cheek.

Is this how deprived you are of kindness? That one act like that almost sends you bawling with relief in the discovery that there is, in fact, at least one kind person in Silla?

All rational thoughts escape your mind and you hold his cheeks with your palms. In an instant, your lips are on his, your eyes closed while his are wide open.

Just as fast as you held him, you immediately release him upon the realization of what you’ve done.

Air escapes your lungs when you fall on the floor in your haste to back away from him and your shocked and pained expression is enough to spur Chen to set aside his own surprise in favor of helping you stand from the floor instead.

Reason seems to have found its way back to your head and you frantically look at both ends of the corridor to see if anyone saw what just transpired.

Suddenly, Chen bows straight in front of you as he almost shouts out an apology.

“Forgive me, my Lady!” you’re stunned by him, his voice shaking and he looks as frightened as a hare corned by wolves.

“What… why…” guilt starts to eat at you from the inside. “Don’t… why are you the one apologizing?” You ask him in a shaky voice.

He stands up from his bow and is surprised to see you looking at him like he just did something wrong.

“Why are you apologizing when clearly I’m the one who just– just attacked you like that out of nowhere?” It is clear that you are getting frantic, guilt and anger brewing an unpleasant mix from within you.

“Had anyone witnessed what I did, you would be sentenced to death, no questions asked!”

Chen’s panic is rising with every word that comes out of your mouth and he whips his head around to see if anyone is passing by.

“Or maybe…” you look at your shaking hands, your breath shallow. The next words that come out of your mouth are said so quietly, it almost looks like the words are for you, and only you.

“Maybe you should tell the Prince that I forced you so he could gladly sentence me to death… after all I deserve such punishment for putting your life on the line--”

The arms that immediately engulf you are warm and you belatedly realize that Chen is already holding you close to his chest. You can’t fight it anymore, the pent up emotions all come rushing out like water from a broken dam.

The anger, the loneliness, the frustration, the sadness.

Everything just breaks free from you the moment you start crying.

It doesn’t even occur to you that you’re already sobbing until you hear Chen whisper words of comfort in your ears, telling you that it’s difficult but it’s all going to be okay and that he understands... That he understands very well.

When your crying has subsided, Chen leads you inside your room again and guides you to lie down. Grabbing the quilt, he drapes it over you until up to your chest, wishing you a peaceful sleep for the night.

He stands up, prepared to leave your chambers, but you grab his hand to stop him.

“Please,” you whimper. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

He looks at your face for a few seconds, causing you to almost take back what you said. You are about to apologize when Chen lifts the quilt and lays beside you.

There’s a significant space between the two of you but you’re just glad he’s there to be with you.  Even with the distance between your bodies, it’s the first time in a long time that you feel you’re not alone and just that is enough reason for you to be deeply grateful.

“Thank you,” you say with a low voice. Laying there side by side, sleep almost claims you fast with how much you’ve cried that night alone. You’re so tired of crying, so tired of feeling helpless and even more of being powerless to stop it.

With your eyes closed and your consciousness already dripping by the edge, rest is being yearned by your body and you almost succumb to the lull of darkness but not before you feel him hold your hand.

Just before you fall asleep, you hear Chen whisper.

“I understand.”

——

At first you thought the days that would follow the incident would be miserable, but now sitting beside Chen, hands intertwined and with only the moon and the stars as your witnesses, you couldn’t be happier.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you think what you’re doing is dangerous, and you know it is, but the experience of comfort and companionship veils you from the real risks at hand.

The feeling of Chen rubbing soothing circles on your hand brings you out of the momentary daze you are in. Turning towards him, you meet his stare, loving how his gentle features bring you ease no matter the circumstances.

In your calmness, you fail to notice the slight crease between his eyebrows.

——

Darkness covers the skies, preventing any semblance of light from shining through as if the heavy clouds in your heart aren’t enough on its own.

Struggling to keep your panic inside, you breathe slowly as you try your best to ignore the way the Crown Prince’s hand on yours seems to burn your skin. Your hand shakes a little and it does not go unnoticed by him judging by how he spares a quick side glance your way.

The gathering seems to go on longer, each passing moment increasing the dread you are feeling. You do not pay attention to the people speaking, choosing to ignore for as long as you can the reality they are bringing to life with their words.

Despite the widespread dislike for you, the important people in the hall cannot contain their eagerness for the wedding, excited for once about the prospect of formally accepting you into the kingdom because it would mean Silla’s official subjugation of Baekje.

After some time, the nobles and the royals file out of the throne room, leaving only you and Minseok alone.

He turns towards you and takes you in his cold embrace, pulling your body impossibly snug against his.

“I cannot wait for tomorrow,” he says lowly in your ear. “The ceremony, and especially for what happens after… how I can finally claim you as mine.”

The Prince shifts his hold to your waist and moves so he can look directly into your eyes. “Tomorrow, I can have your all at last. Mind…” he leans closer as his hands travel higher.

“Body.” A kiss on the edge of your lips.

“Soul.”

He finishes as he plants a full kiss on your lips.

You tense upon the contact but Minseok doesn’t seem to care. He slowly pulls away and you almost recoil when you see nothing but amusement and anticipation dancing in his eyes. Licking his bottom lip, he lets you go and orders your lady in waiting to take you back to your private quarters.

With a bowed head, Yerim rushes to you and you all but run from the hall once Minseok dismisses you.

You can’t think straight so you let your feet take you to wherever, the young servant right on your heels worriedly urging you to go back to where the Prince ordered you to.

“Your Highness, we should go back,” Yerim says pleadingly but almost admonishingly, no doubt scared of the consequences, but you don’t listen to her. Turning towards another corridor, you’re surprised to find yourself face to face with Chen, his brows furrowed in concern upon seeing you in tears-- tears you don’t even notice.

“[Y/N],” he rushes towards you and he wipes the tears on your cheeks with his thumbs. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

A gasp sounds from behind you and when you turn around, you meet Yerim’s shocked face. She just saw Chen holding you with familiarity and speaking your name as if he is of same standing.

His eyes widen as he registers the presence of another person, not at all prepared for such an encounter.

Your servant hurries away and Chen turns to run after her, but you stop him with a hand on his arm. He looks at you and decides that your well-being is more important at the moment.

Taking your hand in his, he guides you along the corridors to your room, preferring to console you in private and away from prying eyes.

The moment the doors slide close, you loop your arms around his torso and sob on his chest.

It was unfair.

Why is the world just so unfair?

The past few weeks you spent with Chen have been the best you’ve had since you moved to the new kingdom. You were so caught up in the safety net that is him that you almost forgot the reason why you were in Silla in the first place. So good were you in pushing your worries to the back of your mind that you did start to forget your true purpose.

With only a day away from your marriage to the Crown Prince, all your worries rush back to your mind, overwhelming you and drowning you in their torrential waves.

Along with the reality that you will be tied to Minseok starting the next day, you cry harder upon the realization that you will have to stop meeting with Chen after the ceremony. Not only will it be dangerous not just for him, but for you as well, but it will also be unfair for Chen.

He is nothing but a kind soul and you know you can never be unfair to him.

You will not do that, no, and he doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. With all the courage you can muster, you detach yourself from his hold, still tearful and sniffling.

“Chen…” you look into his eyes, certain that it might be the last time you can openly do so.

He calls your name in a quiet voice and you can do nothing but let your body do what it yearns to do.

Your lips are on his before you can register it and your hands raise to caress his soft cheeks. He holds your jaw with one hand while the other finds purchase on your waist. All you can do is feel Chen and relish the time you can spend with him like this.

It doesn’t matter if you want him. Your choices never matter after all, but this time, you really feel the hurt from not having your emotions be put into consideration.

Even if you don’t want to, you know you will have to stop seeking comfort from the one and only person you consider your home away from your real home. You will have to part, and never will you be able to hold him like this again.

For reasons you cannot fully accept, you resign yourself to your fate and let yourself cry harder.

Chen feels your body shake from your sobs and he tries his best to convey comfort through the arms that hold you tight. You both know there’s no going around the destiny that awaits you so he simply guides you to lie down on your bed, engulfs you in his warm embrace and lets you cry your heart out. 

——

You wake up with a start, disoriented and with eyes still heavy from crying as well as your abrupt awakening.

However, sleep is instantly wiped from you when you see Chen hovering over you, a knife in his hand, poised and ready to be brought down on you.

The moment you lock eyes with him, his own widen and his hand starts to shake.

An interruption from your door startles the both of you and you turn to see the Crown Prince himself entering the room, a cold and almost blank look on his face but a small satisfied smirk on his lips.

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, your personal guards, immediately enter the room and tackle Chen, holding him flat on the ground. His struggling does nothing to deter the two men holding him down, taking the knife from him and throwing it somewhere unreachable.

Before you can fully register what’s happening, Minseok speaks.

“This went on even better than I expected,” he says as he looks at Chen. “Back then, I knew I recognized you from somewhere and I wasn’t wrong.”

Glancing around the room, you still don’t know what is happening and it causes the frustration to seep from you. The Prince diverts his attention to you and your heart stops at the sight of his disapproving but all too amused stare.

“I thought I had warned you well not to let me find out about your foolishness, Princess,” he sees the confusion on your face and lets his smirk widen. As if on cue, Yerim emerges from behind him, wearing an expression you can only describe as a look of satisfaction.

You don’t understand! 

You thought Yerim was on your side-- that she would at least be willing to give you a chance to explain what she saw earlier but it seems you’re wrong and now it’s too late.

“--what… --I do not..,” you try to speak but find that you can’t form your thoughts into sentences. You move your gaze back and forth from Minseok to Chen, fear gripping your heart from what grim consequences are sure to await you and him upon being discovered by Minseok, but the Prince seems to know more than he lets on.

“Oh,” he chuckles as he raises a brow. “The Princess is worried about you, Kim Jongdae. Do you mean to tell me she does not know of your true identity?”

You frown at the unfamiliar name and snap your head towards Chen, seeing a semblance of guilt fall on his face. He averts his gaze from you and looks at Minseok instead, his lips curl into a snarl, daring the Prince to continue speaking.

Minseok isn’t deterred one bit. He bellows out a loud, harsh laugh and sweeps his hands in a grand gesture. “Imagine, you try to kill the next Queen of this kingdom and she does not even know who you are and what you were planning to do to her all along.”

Not caring about formalities, you grasp for clarity. “Chen!” you shout desperately. “What is he saying!”

The Prince walks towards you and pulls you up with a tight grip on your arm, making you cry out in pain. He brings you closer to him, holding your back flat against his chest with an arm around your waist while his other hand goes to hold your chin to force you to look at Chen… --at Jongdae.

“You see, Princess, Jongdae wanted to kill you,” he says, mirth obvious in his voice. “But you know I will not let that happen.”

“But do not tell me there is no recognition in you at all when you look at his face?” he mocks. “No recollection of any Kim Jongdae? Perhaps from your younger years?”

“Or maybe you do not know him… but you know of someone, a rather beautiful woman if I may say so, who for some reason is related to this scum who tried to end your life?”

You flinch at the reminder, not at all ready to wrap your head around the truth of Jongdae’s attempt on your life, but as you blink and stare at the man before you…

A sharp inhale is all you can muster at the moment. “That’s… that’s why you looked familiar… because I have seen you before,” you say, your voice barely a whisper. “--you’re Taeyeon’s younger brother…”

Jongdae lunges forward at the mention of his sister’s name. “You do no’t get to talk about her as if you ever cared about her!” he shouts, voice riddled with pure unadulterated anger and pain. He almost successfully breaks free from the guards’ hold on him but they pull him back, hitting his body and forcing him to kneel in front of you and the Prince.

Minseok releases his hold on you and pushes you forward, causing you to fall on directly in front of Jongdae. “Go on, tell her the truth, you mongrel.”

“Chen… Jongdae,” gulping, you lift your head to look at him. “Please look at me.” You raise your hand to his cheek, willing him to tell you the truth but he avoids your touch altogether. He looks off to the side, choosing to fume silently in anger.

“Oh, you do not wish to speak?” the Prince says with a chuckle. “Let me do the honor then.”

He walks closer to Jongdae and lands a firm kick on his stomach, causing him to double over in pain.

“No! Stop!” you scramble to stop the Prince but he hits your face with the back of his hand, causing you to fall back curled on a heap on the floor.

“You do not know the truth yet, so stop trying to protect him, you fool,” Minseok says in a growl. “He wanted to end your life so he can prevent me from getting what I wanted - which is to rule over your kingdom. With you gone, Baekje can easily back off from their plea,” he clicks his tongue.

“No problem there but I would rather save the resources we will need to mobilize if we try to take your kingdom by force,” he looks at you then, reading the confusion clear on your face. “But why does he abhor me, you ask? Well, because I killed the pathetic little spy he calls his precious sister.”

Jongdae struggles again, wanting nothing more than to strangle the Prince with his bare hands, but the guards hold him down. 

“So you did not care about me the whole time…?” you try to say, your breath seemingly getting more shallow the longer you stay in the room.

Minseok picks up the discarded knife and presses the pointed tip on Jongdae’s neck. “Tell her, servant,” he urges, drawing a little amount of blood from Jongdae. “Tell her you do not care, even now. Tell her that the only intent you had when you showed her kindness was to create a ploy to take something important from me - to take revenge on me the only way you know how because you know you will never get the opportunity to kill me.”

“Well, you failed. Miserably. Just like your incompetent sibling.”

You sit helpless on the floor, eyes locked with Jongdae’s and you almost cry from the emotions that flit on his beautiful face.

Anger. Resentment. Betrayal. 

But among them, you also see something else.

Worry. Guilt. 

Regret.

Remorse.

... Love.

Memories from years back flood your mind and you remember personally selecting Taeyeon to be part of the emissaries to be sent to Silla for a special mission.

She was one of your personal guards, one of the best in the whole army, and you proudly endorsed her for it, not knowing that the task entailed spying on Silla.

After some time, you got word of her unexpected and unfortunate death, but you didn’t know it was because of the mission.

The first tear drop falls from your eyes… followed by another, and another. And you find your vision blurring from the onslaught of tears.

Jongdae’s breathing is also picking up, unfiltered negative feelings about his sister’s demise taking over his entire person. He doesn’t even attempt to stop it and just lets them cascade down his cheeks.

“Please don’t-- just…-- don’t pretend to care about her when you were the one who sent her to her death,” he chokes out, voice thick with sorrow.

You shake your head vehemently, “You don’t understand-- Jongdae, I did not know,” you sob. “I did not… if I knew then I would not have-- no…” you cover your face with your hands, desperate to get rid of the guilt and the blame for something you did not know. “She was my friend.”

“This brings me such great amusement,” Minseok laughs in glee. “Now that we have those misunderstandings out of the way, I want you fools to reflect on what happened so you can both feel more miserable. I should end your lives for treason and infidelity, no?”

He draws his own sword and points it at you. “Should I kill you first, Princess?”

Jongdae surprises everyone in the room with how he breaks free from the guards and tackles Minseok to the ground. He lands a solid blow to the Prince’s jaw before the panicked men drag him away, beating him up to make him stop.

“Do not lay your hands on her!” he growls out while struggling. “I will kill you if you so much as touch her!”

You stay still in shock and you feel yourself tense even more when Minseok lets out a full-blown laugh. “You dare threaten to kill me if I endanger her life when moments ago, she would have died by your own hands had I not interrupted?”

Jongdae lets shame wash over his face, draining the fight from him and preventing him from so much as glancing at you.

The Prince stands up from his place on the floor, laughing and clutching his stomach for reasons incomprehensible to you and Jongdae. “Will you look at that?” he says in between bouts of laughter.

Shaking his head, he straightens his posture and picks up his discarded sword. To your shock, he sheathes it back and looks at you. “So he does feel even a little for you even though you are foremost the reason why his beloved sibling is dead.”

“I will not kill you. Instead, I will make your lives miserable.” With the smirk still on his face, he walks towards the door, stopping just before he fully exits.

“And I will see to it that you see each other suffer throughout that misery, left wondering each passing day how much hurt you caused one another.”

——

Baekje was always pleasant.

Sure, it wasn’t perfect, but it was your home - a true home. It was one where you had a personal servant whom you treated like a sibling, and who treated you the same way.

You guess Yerim’s loyalty was never yours to claim in the first place.

Back where you came from, you grew up with with your people including the royal guards, the maids, the citizens. You knew just about everyone, but more so your personal guards Junmyeon and Yixing. You know they’d protect you and anyone you loved from any harm that came your way, and not even because of their sworn duty, but more from how they sincerely care about your wellbeing.

You guess it was foolish of you to mistake Kyungsoo and Baekhyun’s kindness to mean they will come to your aid no matter the circumstance. After all, who are you compared the the Prince -- the future King of their own kingdom.

As wishful as it is, you used to think you will be wed to the love of your life - someone you haven’t met back then yet, but who your father and mother assured you that you will get to marry. It was peaceful back then, so peaceful that the royal heads of the kingdom did not see the need to send you to marry a man you did not even know.

You guess you should not question the Prince’s intentions, for after all, isn’t it him who is granting you a wish when he agreed to marry you? Isn’t it him who will provide the safety you so prayed for your kingdom? Does his cruelty really matter? Should you not be thankful?

As much you loved your own kingdom, you had to leave it, for it was that exact love that pushed you to get the help your people needed. It was not an easy task, not in any way, but you thank the gods for blessing you with a person who serves as a beacon of light in a place filled with nothing but darkness. A person who serves as your warmth where there only was coldness. A home away from home, and a home you are eternally grateful for.

You guess you should have questioned it, but when you think deeply about what happened, you believe in the depths of your heart that you got to meet the real Chen -- the real Kim Jongdae. That despite him having a plan against you, you know he understands your plight. You know he did things out of love for his sister. You know that despite claiming to have just pretended to gain your trust, in the end, Kim Jongdae started caring for you… started loving you.

You saw it in the way he wasn’t able to bring the knife down.

You saw it in the way he protected you even in the face of a ruthless prince who can easily end both of your lives.

You saw it in the way he cared for you -- still cares for you.

And now, you see it in the way he looks into your eyes.

As you enter the hall to meet the Crown Prince, you steel yourself and your heart, finally accepting with grim resignation the fate that you tried so hard to evade.

Never will you trust anyone in the kingdom ever again.

Never will you put your faith on any of the people.

Never will you disobey the Prince lest you compromise the safety of your people.

And perhaps most important of all…

Never will you put Kim Jongdae’s life in danger ever again.

How will you be able to suppress your conflicting feelings for him when the Prince had so mercilessly ordered Jongdae to personally attend to you for the rest of your life?

To be forced to spend every waking moment with you when you had both been crushed by the unfortunate circumstances you’ve been tangled in?

What you had was truth founded on lies. You had come to love him and you know he had come to love you too, only to meet a destiny more painful than rejection. And as you engrave into your heart all of these promises you made, you wonder, how will your broken and crushed heart be able to handle Jongdae being by your side in the coming days?

Maybe-- maybe in another life, you can meet each other again.

And maybe in another life you can love without the pain, the anger and the sorrow that fill your current ill-fated lives.

#exo #exowritersnet #exosnet #chen #kim jongdae #exo angst #chen angst #kim jongdae angst #exo x reader #exo x reader angst #chen x reader #chen x reader angst #kim jongdae x reader #kim jongdae x reader angst #exo historical!AU

[astxlphe]

Allen x Road for the shipping meme?

• Rate the Ship 

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

• How long will they last? 

Look, they love each other,  but sometimes, things are complicated…they're kinda on and off for years, before they decide to have  a steady relationship, and even then they aren't sure themselves where they're going with it.

• How quickly did/will they fall in love? 

Road will say she fell in love very early on? But it didn't really happen until way later. She's very affectionate but she's also distrustful, so that's why I think it would take a while for her to fall in love. 

Allen took a while too! It wasn't his priority, and it took him by surprise! It just...happened?

• How was their first kiss? 

Their very first kiss was initiated by Road (we all remember that one), but when they're in love…it's Allen who makes the first steps.

Wedding:

• Who proposed?

Allen! He's a bit of a romantic, so he went all out. Getting on his knees at a fancy restaurant, and so on.

• Who is the best man/men?

Tyki, for Road. Lavi for Allen. 

• Who is the braid’s maid(s)?

Lenalee! (she gets to be barefoot for the ceremony)

• Who did the most planning?

Road! They did almost everything together, but Road thought on a lot of things Allen didn't. 

• Who stressed the most? 

Allen. Road was pretty relaxed through the whole thing. 

• How fancy was the ceremony?

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

You can't have a Kamelot wedding without it being at least a little fancy. Sheryl won't have his daughter getting married in a simple manner. 

• Who was specifically not invited to the wedding?

Leverier. 

Sex - disclaimer I'm not very good at talking about this 

• Who is on top? 

Road, most of the time. 

• Who is the one to instigate things?

It's pretty 50/50! 

• How healthy is their sex life?(I’m not very comfy with the idea that frequency is synonymous with health so I’m going to pretend it’s not about frequency).

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

Look, they like sex, and are very comfortable with telling each other what they like or don’t. They’re pretty open with each other on that front.

• How kinky are they?

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

They have a wide range of kinky stuff to choose from and when they aren't sure they throw a coin. 

• Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms?

Allen, being a gentleman, always makes sure Road gets one or two more than him.

• How rough are they in bed?

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

• How much cuddling/snuggling do they do?

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory 

Road is much more into PDA than Allen, and she sticks herself to him and climbs him up (she's still pretty short, even after she lets her body grow and age)

Allen doesn't mind much, he is used to it by know, though he will detach her from him if she gets too much.

Children: 

• How many children will they have naturally? 

None

• How many children will they adopt?

They would think about it? They're both very family focused, so why not, but…not until they're much older? And it would be an older kid too.

• Who gets stuck with the most diapers?

Well, no one! 

• Who is the stricter parent?

Allen. Road encourages misbehavior. 

• Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school?

Allen again.

• Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)?

Allen! He knows how important food is! 

• Who is the more loved parent?

Hard question, but it's 50/50. On one hand Allen is a very soft parent, but Road but is "cool mom" who tell them how to avoid getting caught.

• Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings?

Allen. He wants to get involved into his children's school life, and he needs to make sure his child is well in school.

• Who cried the most at graduation?

Allen.

• Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law?

Allen. He's very, very good at it, only slightly better than Road. Road teaches them not to get caught. 

Cooking: 

• Who does the most cooking?

Allen, because he's the one who eats the most out of all of them. He gets some help, tho. 

• Who is the most picky in their food choice?

Definitely Road! 

• Who does the grocery shopping? 

Allen, since he eats the most, he's in charge of getting the food. 

• How often do they bake desserts?

That's something they love to do together! They do it at least twice a week. 

• Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater?

Meat lovers! 

• Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? 

Allen! A good diner is one of the best gifts in the world, to him, so surprise anniversary diners are a must!

• Who is more likely to suggest going out?

Road!

• Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking?

Road. Not because she's that bad at cooking but because she does whatever she wants and doesn't follow the recipe and it can get. Bad.

Chores: 

• Who cleans the room? 

Allen!

• Who is really against chores? 

Road. She really, really hates them. 

• Who cleans up after the pets?

Road!

• Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug?

Road. Her powers can't make dust disappear after all

• Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? 

Road, tho it's not stress. She's the one who is the most "busy" with preparations. 

• Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning?

Allen! He doesn't care it's originally Lavi's, he found it, it's his now. 

Misc:

• Who takes the longer showers/baths?

Road. 

• Who takes the dog out for a walk?

They go together! It's a nice outing!

• How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays?

They don't....really decorate for Christmas. It's more "Allen's birthday" than "Christmas day" so christmas decorations aren't really their thing. They do like Halloween and spooky stuff tho, so they decorate for that! 

• What are their goals for the relationship?

Idk? They know are both very stubborn, so they try to always find compromises. They put a lot of work in their relationship to make it work, so their goal is that it stays as important to them in the future as it is now.

• Who is most likely to sleep till noon?

Road!

• Who plays the most pranks?

Road again, tho Allen isn't above retaliation!

I’m sorry for the time it took to get this done! I was waiting to be on desktop, bc mobile is a pain -.-

#dgm #allero #allen walker #road kamelot #so turns out read more doesn't work on desktop either???

[unfairaddiction]

Sharky x F!Rook

Follow Dep and Sharky as they go from strangers to enemies to best friends to lovers. Idk how long Eden's Gate was in Hope County, but it sounds like they were there for awhile and I imagine in the beginning people didn't really mind there presence.

And I just like the idea of the Dep being kind of involved with the Project and just being in the dark about their activities.

You know she went to the local high school

Probably one of those kids that didn't belong in a group.

She was one of those kids that floated around from group to group.

Still an overall good kid, not really in the party scene and not really a rule breaker.

Sharky was always getting into trouble and wasn't a great student.

The Deputy was and they ran in completely different circles.

Didn't stop the Dep from having a major crush on him in high school though.

Rook always felt like she was missing out, and Sharky was, in her mind, living his best life and she wasn't.

Sharky probably didn't even know rook existed, if he did he always figured she was one of the goody two shoes, not really his type.

Sharky remembers the first time he actually saw rook tho.

He was running from the cops after he lit a fire somewhere nearby and Rook was probably studying outside.

He had nowhere to go but into the tree she was sitting under, and the wide eyed look she was giving him told him there was no way she hadn't seen him.

He scrambled into the tree, fully prepared to fight from his perch.

The cops came sprinting around the corner as Sharky settled into his tree, getting pinecones ready to hurl at the cops.

"Rook!" Everyone knows everyone in Hope County. "Did Boshaw come this way?"

Sharky never thought that a good nerd like Rook would ever lie to the police.

"He ran that way!" Rook cried and pointed deeper into the woods.

Cue the Deputy's giving chase because Rook would NEVER LIE.

So Sharky takes her out as a 'thanks for not turning me in' and she has her first drink, shitty moonshine, sitting on the hood of Sharky's rusty pickup,that has her laughing too loud and has her stumbling over her words.

Its funny to see Rook, who is usually so put together, drunk off her ass.

Sharky sees her in that moment, that she's just as lonely as he is, and for a minute he doesn't feel so alone.

"I jussssst sssseee you laughing and you-you've got people ya-you know ?" Rook rambles. "I don't have people. I-I've got a f-fu-future, I've got no time for people. That's what my dad say-says anyway."

Sharky's a little drunk too, and he kisses her while she rambles, and there's some fumbled over the shirt action.

Sharky's mouth though, finds a way to cock block himself.

"I always thought you were kind of a nerd, you know, you're actually kinda hot in the right light." And it really wasn't what he meant to say.

And Rook recoils almost instantly, and she's hurt, and the alchohol only makes it worse, so runs away into the Montana wilderness.

Rook really should be smarter than that, but she's drunk and her feelings are hurt so she runs.

Sharky feels bad and he really planned on running after her but a the self doubt tells him to just leave her alone and that he needs to sleep off the moonshine.

Rook makes it to the road, and she doesn't WANT to hitchhike, but she can barely walk straight and she can't go home when she's drunk.

Her parents would not be pleased, and she knows her father might hit her and her mom would give her that disapproving look.

So she walks along the, mostly, deserted road, not expecting anyone to come by.

She's met Joseph Seed a couple of times, but she's only met John in passing.

John offers to drive her home, because he can see she's drunk.

And she's a talkative drunk so she tells him that she can't and she's afraid of what her parents will do.

And John is sympathetic, or at least he appears to be, because he's been there, and he sees the perfect recruitment opportunity here.

So he let's Rook stay the night at the ranch to sleep it off, provided she agree to some volunteer work for the church.

It's not a bad deal all things considered, her parents wouldn't be looking for her in the morning, they wouldn't be surprised if she 'left early' for school, and she knows they aren't worried about her now since her phone isn't going off, so she goes with John.

When Rook is in her right mind she tells herself how stupid it was to trust John, a man she barely knows.

Luckily for her, this is before the cult is torturing people enough to be a known fact.

Her parents are fairly religious, not go to church every week religious more like quote the bible when its convenient and going to services on Christmas and Easter.

So they are thrilled when she gets involved with the church.

Sharky feels bad and he wants to apologize but now Rook is always surrounded by the kids whose parents are in Eden's Gate.

Eden's Gate is really what sets Rook on the path to being a Deputy.

Joseph who always seems to know everything essentially tells her what she should do, and Rook who desperately wants to belong somewhere does what he says.

She's a teenager and Joseph is the first person whose like 'hey, u don't ACTUALLY have to be perfect all the time its ur intentions that matter'

So Eden's Gate becomes a home away from home for her, because she may not really belong among the overzealous believers and she can't really be herself but they come when she calls, and they ask her how she's doing.

She doesn't talk about that night with Sharky though, she told John when she was still drunk and crying but he hasn't brought it up.

She still misses that connection she had with him but she's decided that it was probably the alchohol and not a real thing.

Sharky drops out of school and Rook graduates, top of her class, and she joins the sheriff's department.

She and Sharky work on opposite sides of the law.

Rook is the only one that can bring Sharky in without Sharky putting up too much of a fight.

He's still kind of a jerk to her and the more she arrests him the more aggressive he is.

"You the big bad law now? You think you're so much better than me? Just cause you've got that degree don't mean you're better than me."

Sharky never brings up that time she helped him escape from the lawmen chasing him.

She asks him why once.

"I ain't no snitch. You helped me out, I repaid the favor. We're square." And that was the last time they ever talked about it.

Rook isn't as involved with the church anymore, but she still answers when John/Jacob/Faith/Joseph call.

When things go to shit and Rook recruits Sharky they become begrudging allies against the cult.

"I thought you were like sucking John's dick, I don't blame you he's kind of hot, I get it."

"Shut the fuck up Boshaw."

They slowly become friends, because they actually have a lot in common.

We see their friendship in game, and I can easily see it turning into something more romantic.

Because let's be honest, Sharky likes to joke and flirt with Rook, and Rook maybe starts to think that Sharky was the friend she needed.

Eden's Gate helped her when she was young, but she was pressured to join this group that ended up being this cult.

And Sharky feels bad about pushing her away because she could have been this amazing influence on his life, at the time.

He especially feels bad because she never would have been involved with Eden's Gate if he had her back that night instead of letting her run into the wilderness.

But, you know they forgive each other and they become crime fighting buds and they have this beautiful relationship based on trust and mutual respect for each other and their experiences.

That got long lol, this has been in my drafts forever but I wanted to post it cause I like the idea of it, I'm just a bad writer.

#far cry 5 #sharky boshaw x deputy #sharky boshaw #i love sharky #the deputy #can u tell I've never been drunk b4

[realchemistry]

Infinity War Review

Spoilers follow, so don’t read unless you’ve seen the movie!!

What a ride! Marvel promised a lot, and in my opinion, they delivered. Every single movie along the way made this a unique, incredibly ride.

The theater was packed, everyone was super excited, and that only added to the experience. When Steve first showed up, when Thor arrived on Wakanda, when RED FUCKING SKULL WAS ON THE SCREEN, we all went crazy, and it was fucking fantastic. When Gamora died, as the Avengers kept on dying, one after the other, we all cried.

My only doubt is if only the characters that died at the end will come back, or if it might also include a reset for Vision, Gamora and even Loki. Cause, I mean, some people were freaking out, but I was chill because of course the MCU isn’t gonna get rid of half its cast just like that.

Not to say that I wasn’t sad and shocked when, “Steve?” happened, cause I was. The Stucky part of me even thought that the whole random killing thing is more like a one-per-soulmate kinda deal, because of course I did.

But there wasn’t enough Steve or Bucky to please me, even though I did love the bits we got. 

Bucky being “cleared for duty” (and once more referred to as the “White Wolf”) was great, but it was sad too cause he knew a fight was coming. 

Steve showing up and being badass and saving the day, just lovely. He looked great too :D

A HUG, WE GOT A HUG, I WAS SO HAPPY, THEY OWED US SO MUCH AND WE GOT A HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He’s also making fun of his age, my sweet boy. 

And a bit of Bucky fanboying over Wakanda.

And Rocket fanboying over Bucky’s... everything, as everyone should.

Plus, Thor and Steve commenting on their new looks.

“I am Steve Rogers.” = I love a man.

Mostly, they fought a lot, with Bucky asking Steve whether the others’d surrendered.  

I kept dreading every second of every fight because I was so scared for Steve, SO, SO scared.

AND when Steve faced Thanos, it looked like Thanos realized how powerful Steve is and even felt threatened and that scared the hell out of me.

Like, I was gonna weep right there and demand a re-do cause they can’t kill Steve, EVER. (I say this every time, I know.)

And then they went and killed Bucky.

The fuckers!!!

And his last word was his soulmate’s name.

“Steve?”

Bucky walked to Steve. And then he was just... gone.

And it was awful. 

But, other than the shock of that second (with me literally reaching out for the screen), I just knew it’s not something that’s gonna stick. 

Cause they can’t kill Bucky. It’s law.

And I get there’s no time for a huge reaction from Steve, and seeing him there, looking at the nothing left behind was awful, but darn, I really wanted more. 

A whole movie just with Steve angst. That’d be terribly sad, but I just want feels, let Steve feel feels, damn it!!! 

Not bad ones, really, I want love moments, kissing and hugging and happiness. All the best for my two favorites of all time ever in the universe.

Let me bullet point the rest or this’ll get too long:

The mixing of the characters was SO much fun. Of course Thor with the Guardians stole the show (pirate angel!!!), but just the clash of universes was amazing.

But Thor with the Guardians was the best. The jealousy, the banter, the eye! Amazing all around.

But did every Asgardian die? Valkyrie?

We all knew Gamora was about to die, yes? And I didn’t think it was supposed to be a big reveal, it was just pay off. We’ve been told that she was Thanos’ favorite, it brought war between the sisters, so it made all the sense in the world, and it was awful, and sad and I cried.

Peter Parker’s dead will traumatize me forever.

Vision’s double dead was also terrible.

Wanda was so good, SO good. I love her so much.

Dora Milaje and Avenger ladies all fighting together, YES, PLEASE. And MOAAARRRRR.

Bruce and Hulk are on a break. Bruce and Nat shouldn’t have ever happened, cause now we got to deal with shit.

I loved seeing War Machine back in action, and Rhodey just not giving a fuck about the Accords.

THE END WAS AMAZING AND SAD AND AMAZING. CAPTAIN MARVEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RIP Heimdall :(((((

I still don’t really know if Loki’s dead or not. This is a problem that Marvel brought on themselves, cause, even tho I still don’t know where I stand with him, I feel like the whole pretending to kill him ruined the emotional payoff.

I hope some of the players that got sidelined will be given more to do in part II, but I understand that it was impossible for every character to be serviced, and certain plot points required certain characters to be under the big, bright lights. I still wish they had managed, but my hope is that it’ll balance out.

We all knew Peter Q. was gonna fuck the plan up, yes? That was so stupid and predictable and my least favorite thing. I totally understood Peter’s reaction, but I wish they’d have come up with something better. Even Peter’s anger could’ve worked if they had changed a few things about that moment, but as it was, it looked bad on Peter.

Actually, I also didn’t enjoy Thor’s small mission. Not the whole thing, but at the end of the day, it felt like a bit unnecessary, or too long, or just, IDK, there was something not right about it. But at least the outcome was pretty amazing... 

GROOT IS A TEENAGER WHO PLAYS VIDEOGAMES AND IS ALSO PART OF THOR’S HAMMER CAUSE HE’S WORTHY LIKE THAT. I love him.

Tony and Dr. Strange was... a thing. I honestly don’t particularly love either, but a lot of their scenes were good because they clashed and Peter Parker’s arrival definitely helped.

I was so glad they threw shade at the ~dance battle, cause I still can’t believe that’s a thing.

Tony and Pep are engaged! I thought they’d broken up? IDEK.

I’ll probably add stuff but this is what I got so far. Feel free to chat with me about all this and whatever else you want. :)

#Marvel #Avengers #Avengers: Infinity War #Stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Tbtl #Spoilers #AIW spoilers #Spoiler #SPOILERS SERIOUSLY #don't read if you haven't watched the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #Manu watches

[smilingperformer]

SM074 - Thoughts

Holy cow... that was some tough ride. First it makes you laugh, then it crushes you, then it rekindles your inner light. So to speak. If you ask me, I’d say this was an episode well executed. Ula’Ula Arc continues on strong!

Satoshi is finally on Ula’Ula island Territory, and we get some others news during the scene before opening song kicks in: Alola League is being set up and both Kaki and Satoshi are fired up! We don’t have to argue about Alola League possibility anymore! : D

(Warning, I went quite analysive on this post, specifically about Sakaki and Kuchinashi. Be prepared for a really long post. lol)

I won’t like, it kinda feels hard to figure out where to start. So, why don’t we start with Rocket Gang, because well, the classmates aren’t here, and our only shots of them was from the beginning where Alola League was confirmed by Kukui, who then asked everyone to help out with setting it up. I wonder when it’ll be up for attendance!

Anyway, Rocket Gang!

While their role in this episode was more of a sideplot and to foreshadow future events, their scenes were very enjoyable and each episode of Sun & Moon makes me love them more and more. Musashi is daydreaming about Mimikkyu-Z move, and Kojiro & Nyarth are just a bit farther looking at the overjoyed Musashi, a bit bummed? Apparently she’s not letting the Z-ring up lol. Typical Musashi. When they see Satoshi the Brat Boy come to Ula Ula via Ship (this kinda reminds me of how they always used to following him on the same ship, esp. at the start of both Hoenn and Sinnoh.), they notice no classmates and immediately realise they might have a chance at winning against him. While we all know they’re doomed to fail (because they really are, nothing is confirmed but I find it hard to believe they’d win, as much as I want them to), I wish them luck! :3

We then cut to Kuchinashi, who seems to be sleepy, and wants to go take a nap somewhere else than the Police Station. It seems like he’s actually an active policeman in Pokeani. Was he in the games? Local Junsa calls him out in slacking, tho he pretends he’s on patrol and then heads back to Police Station, claiming he forgot something.

Looks like he was just trying to avoid his over a dozen Alolan Nyarth who keep on asking for food. I’m not cat owner, but apparently this is very relatable. :D This was a cute scene and all, but the next scene is the most intriquing one.

Kuchinashi receives as call, and while he tries to avoid answering it at first, hoping whoever is phoning him would give up, he eventually picks it up and oh guess who’s there:

Had I not seen the preview, I’d have been more suprised! But I did gasp at the scene while seeing it live thou.

And Sakaki is addressing Kuchinashi as an old friend? What is their deal here? I mean, SM073 already explained that the two know each other, but it looks like their relationship is deeper (And I mean more mysterious by it). Sakaki doesn’t seem to be aware of Kuchinashi being both Island King and police officer thou so... did they know each other before Kuchinashi became Island King or before he even became a police officer? Is Kuchinashi in Pokeani actually an ex-con who turned to the right side of the law? There’s more to this dialogue that makes me really curious. After small talk, Sakaki says that “he now gets it”. Get’s what exactly? He then tries to pry info out of Kuchinashi about “Kagayaki-sama“, which we localisation fans know as The Blinding One (see what’s being foreshadowed?). I didn’t know what exactly this was until later during the episode when I watched it live, but I had a hunch he might be asking about it. And I was correct. This is the first hint of an incoming arc about Necrozma, and with Sakaki being involved, a possible Rainbow Rocket arc!  I am beyond stoked and excited!

The way Kuchinashi reacts to the question is really interesting as well. I bet he does know, as we later know it is part of another legend told on Alola. But he seems certain on not letting Sakaki know, telling him he's never heard of it (the man keeps on lying to everyone, pffffft). So, I doubt he’s in league with Rocket Gang but, he might have had some past with them before. More specifically with Sakaki. What kind thou? Guess we’ll find out later this... summer? Autumn? Winter? This arc specifically? I’m finding it hard to predict future stuff for Sun & Moon, it always suprises me in different ways.

Sakaki expected a lousy answer from Kuchinashi, but like, this line has me so curious? Just what is Sakaki planning? I think he’s gonna have a big part in Necrozma arc, and Pokeani might try doing something original with merging ideas of Rainbow Rocket, Necrozma and the post-game stuff from Sun & Moon games (NOT Ultra ones, since Ultra replaced the Post Game from original games to Rainbow Rocket). Anyway, this quite intense Phone Call is finally hung up (Sakaki didn’t seem too pleased, calling his name just when Kuchinashi says he’s hanging up. He didn’t sound mad or anything, it was quite a calm and collective voice, but it was like he was trying to intimidate him? Idk) after Satoshi starts shouting outside, looking for the Island King himself. I guess our depressed Nyarth cop got off the hook, so to say? At least for now.

Maybe I should have put this part of this post as a seperate one, but... I’m not sure how to format it. If people want me to put it seperately, I can do so. But, moving on!

Well, before we move on with the plot of this episode, Satoshi gets piled up with Kuchinashi’s Nyarth, and Bevenom causes bit of chaos by shooting some... stuff, at them. Then Bevenom provokes the cats and a fight between Satoshi’s friends and Alolan Nyarth occurs. The cats won. lol Poor Satoshi. Rought start for this Island Pilgrimare.

And once again, when Kuchinashi gets asked himself as an Island King, he lies, saying Kuchinashi is his co-worker and currently on a patrol. Pfffft. He’s got some tough nerves to keep on lying to strangers. On top of it all, he tricks Satoshi into keeping company to the Alolan Nyarth “until Kuchinashi comes back“. Ruuuuude! He seems to be quite fed up with life. : D But this keeps his character interesting, he’s totally my fav Kahuna now. Sorry Lychee.

Kuchinashi does take note to Lugarugan and Bevenom specifically before tricking Satoshi into playing with the Nyarth thou. Doing a good job as Island King :)

So... Satoshi is dead from keeping company before the break time. Poor thing. These Alolan Nyarth sure are attention-hungry. (The Commercial Breaktime part is announced by Sakaki and somehow it gives me shivers lol)

After showing how exhausted Satoshi is, which is possibly because of playing with the cats for hours, Acerola shows up, searching for Uncle Kuchinashi. I have to say, the way she’s animated during this scene is so cute and gorgeus at the same time? She’s absolutely beautiful in Pokeani, they nailed here so well ♥

Well, after Satoshi explains Kuchinashi isn’t here and how he’s staying there until the “other officer“ comes back, Acerola blows the old man’s cover. Satoshi’s reaction is a lot calmer compared to Rocket Gan Trio’s, but you can see he’s a bit suprised. He’s also quite calm about Mimi-tan being a ghost. The pictures Rotom took were quite spooky... Acerola then offers Satoshi to take him to Kuchinashi, as if knowing she’ll know how to find him. This girl knows this man well, huh?

And just look at this animation, it’s perfection. The leg movement, the pose, the cuteness, the gorgeusness! That’s it, she’s my fav Pokeani character now. I’m gonna be sad when Ula Ula Arc is over I’m so sad she’s not a classmate ;_; She better appear more later on!

Back on topic, they head to the library Acerola works at, and after a small introduction to the place, Acerola brings up a book about a local legend, to which Bevenom seems to show being curious on. And so am I!

To explain it shortly, legend is about The Blinding One (Ultra Necrozma), Lunala and Solgaleo bringing light to a newly founded Alola Region, which was without a light at the time. If you want a full recap, I’ll point you to this post.

So, we now know some lore about Alola in Pokeaniverse! I love lore, and I was stoked to learn about Pokeani’s version of the Necrozma legend. It’s a bit different to the game one, where the Blinding One is a legend told in Ultra Megaopolis instead of Alola, and it’s actually about Necrozma itself instead of Ultra Necrozma. I wonder how they’ll showcase the hostile, incomplete Necrozma, who’s supposed to be in constant pain unless it fuses with Lunala/Solgaleo... hmmmmm. I’m worrying over Hoshigumo/Nebby now. Because of the Pokedex entries.

Acerola then informs Satoshi that Uncle Kuchinashi believes The Blinding One to be an Ultra beast. This bit also confirms Kuchinashi knows about the legend, and lied to Sakaki about. XD Ofc, the mafia boss didn’t believe him.

Well, what we didn’t see until the last second of the scene is that Rocket Gang is back to tailing Satoshi, and they have now learned about the tale of The Blinding One. They don’t know that Sakaki knows about it already, because they want to go and inform him right away. Weeell, they get scolded by Matori later in the episode for not bringing in new info anyway. Poor buffoons.

Small bits I like about this episode: How Mokuroh is absolutely adorable throughout it (I want to see the part where Satoshi feeds Mokuroh giffed it’s so CUTE) and Mimi-tan actually fancying Pikachu, unlike some other Mimikyu we know :))

I gotta say, the dynamic between Satoshi and Acerola is quite enjoyable. Satoshi is shown a bit restless here, wanting to go search for Kuchinashi at the Police Station, while Acerola just with proudness claims that there’s no need. Because she’s got the ultimate weapon for getting him to her: the hostage! Of his Kendama toy.

She’s adorable. How did Kuchinashi end up becoming her carer. That’s it this is my new Discord avatar. Welp. Her hostage works, because Kuchinashi comes right to her house.

I think this line confirmes Satoshi is gonna do another trial before SM077, and I think it’ll be the Ghost Trial. Maybe it’s a bit different to the games, since SM076 is gonna be Musashi’s Mimikyu VS Satoshi’s Pikachu. And they’re hyping it with different summaries, a lot. We’ll see, I’m not really having any ideas how they could portray Totem Mimikyu in the same episode. But I can see him getting the Ghost-Z Crystal. Anyway, let’s move on.

Kuchinashi denies Satoshi’s challenge, stating he can already see that he’s not strong enough to challenge them. He even tells him to go back to Melemele. Kinda harsh. Acerola convinces him to give the boy a try thou (by giving him glares and claming Kuchinashi is just finding his job a pain), so they’re gonna do a Pre-Trial for Trials. : D Which btw, is the highlight of this episode. I love how Kuchinashi seems to be unable to say no to Acerola. What a duo they are.

So, Kuchinashi uses Waruvial with the Intimidate Ability, while Satoshi uses Lugarugan, who showed interest in fighing earlier. However, we can see Lugarugan getting intimidated by this ability, and as we know, he’s got anger issues.

Btw, Kuchinashi doesn’t show a single interest in this fight. He looks bored. He knows he’s gonna win.

Well, each time Lugarugan gets intimidated by Waruvial, it gets angrier, and Satoshi notices this. He tries to calm Lugarugan, and well, so far it’s still listening, but...

None of Lugarugan’s move have an effect on Waruvial, and Kuchinashi manages to get Lugarugan trapped in a Sand Tomb. And well, this is where things get really serious.

Red-Eyed Lugarugan is back, and it’s not because of dirt, but because of not being able to control his own anger. I feel bad for thinking it was due to dirt. SM069 already kinda showed that it wasn’t related to dirt, because Lugarugan was dirty there. But let’s continue. Because this is where I start feeling ache in my heart.

Honestly, Satoshi looks terrified here. He knows what’s gonna happen. He knows already he won’t be able to control him! And he’s right!

The fight turns into Lugarugan not listening to any words Satoshi says, and it just keeps on biting Waruvial like a wild raging dog. It’s scary. It’s terrifying. And Satoshi has every right to be scared. But Kuchinashi?

He’s just being rude ass here, like he’s enjoying this scenario here. He seems so savage during this whole scene. Like he’s toying with the boy. And I sort of want to slap Kuchinashi for this, but then again, I love what Pokeani is doing with him here! We haven’t had Gym Leaders like him before, and to top it all, this is the first Dark-Type specialist Satoshi has to beat. Acerola is scared at Lugarugan here.

Kuchinashi does creepy smiles here while waiting for the right moment to counter enraged Lugarugan. You can see he’s a dark-type specialist. It sort of flows around him. Once the following scenes happens thou...

Cue the screenshot that starts breaking me. Seriously. We haven’t seen him look like this in whole Alola! He’s breaking!

And when Kuchinashi orders Waruvial to use Crunch, and it lands on Lugarugan perfectly...

Cue the most heartbreaking scene I have ever seen of Satoshi. I mean it. This is what breaks my heart! XYZ’s loss against Wurfic wasn’t enough, thou it was close! And I just had to see this similar shot of someone else in another show, so to see it this soon in Pokeani, with Satoshi, hurts so god damn much!

Lugarugan falls down, and the fight is over.

With Satoshi in disbelief. Seriously. I started crying few moments ago already. He looks so devastated. He’s lost before. But somehow this loss hurt so much more than other losses.

When he goes to Lugarugan and asks him if it’s alright, seriously, he looks like he’s about to cry. He’s at the line of the breaking point.

And he’s certainly keeping it in! He’s about to cry! ;_; And so am I hold on. I have to point out that Rica Matsumoto’s performance in this scene, and the next, is absolutely beautiful and I applaud her for a job well done.

Kuchinashi just straight up tells Satoshi that he should go back to Melemele Island. But the way Satoshi says the following line?

He’s saying it with the kind of voice that implicates that he’s so ready to cry and he’s determined on not giving up! I love this boy, and due to how impactful this scene is, I love the whole sequence of the scene, from start of the fight to the finish of this scene, whole lot!

This is the Satoshi we’ve learned to love. Determined to never give up. Determined to stay on the Island and train to become stronger, to be able to beat Kuchinashi. It’s admirable, inspiring, and I was once again reminded why this boy is such a golden one. I can’t believe I used to think lousy stuff about him years ago. I feel awful.

Anyway, Kuchinashi then tells him to do as he pleases. We then have another foreshadowing from Rocket Gang for the SM076, and I kinda explained the scene before, so, moving on! (Sorry Rocket Gang you know I love them D:)

The final scene is a good one as well. Lugarugan is sulking alone about the loss, and Satoshi goes to him, talking about how he’s frustrated, and how they weren’t able to do anything during the battle. It was very one-sided after all. He’s clearly disappointed. But then he apologizes to Lugarugan, like he seems to believe it’s his fault he can’t control Lugarugan’s anger issues. And well. He’d never blame his Pokemon. His friends. He then asks Acerola about where he could train on Ula’Ula Island, and Acerola suggests on meeting with Kapu-Bulul. Which is next week’s episode!

The end of SM074! I don’t know why I went such detail on this one. I’m blaming it on plot elements, creating my new favourite scene in Pokeani, making me love Acerola and Kuchinashi more, etc etc etc. If you guys managed to read this all, I applaud you. And sorry for sucha long post. :’D

Pokeproblem of the episode is stunning. Kuchinashi loves teasing his Nyarth.

While the preview talks about Island Kings resembling the Island Deityes by their personalities (bless the preview dialogues), we’ll be heading to the Ruins of Abudance, where Kapu-Bulul resides. And they’ll be crossing the desert to get there! Time for some slacker training!

Kapu-Bulul! Intense Slacker Training! Cya all next week!

#aleira watches sumo #i've been writing this for hours #oh my god #i keep getting distarcted because i have so much to write #i'm so sorry #pokemon #pokeani #pokemon sumo #ula ula arc #sm074 #ub arc #long post

[maxieflowers-blog]

maxwell flowers is a twenty-eight year old staff that works as a pre-law professor. it has been stated that they are charming & witty, but they can also be manipulative & unemotional. he happens to be into roleplay & daddy kink, but won’t do non-consensual & ageplay. it just so happens that they look like chris wood and are bisexual. {syds/20/est/she/her/none}

helloo!!! i’m so pumped to be here skdfj i’m syds (or sydnie) and i’m bringin y’alls my lame annoyin bitch ass character, max. i’ll put some stuff abt him and some connection ideas nd i’d love to plot w/ all of you!!!!!!!!!! pls!!!

soo maxwell was born to an infamous lawyer and a baker. his mom was the lawyer and she was rly well known for helping people that a lot of the media was against. bc of that she got a bad name and got a lot of threats and stuff but she was like whatever! i’m a bad bitch with money, fuck y’all!

his dad was much nicer. he had his own bakery and after school every day max would go there and do his homework. his dad would check over it and if he did a good job he got his fave doughnut ( one with sprinkles......obviously.....)

even still his parents were also part time con artists. they’d con their way to free meals mostly and as max got older he’d get included in the things. he’d fake cry or anything else to get free ice cream and other bullshit like that

so from an early age he was taught manipulation tactics. which were and still are very key to his personality. the downfall for him was when he spent the night at a friends at 10 years old only to be woken up and find out that someone had broken into his house and ‘hurt’ both of his parents. it wasn’t until he was at the funeral that he realized he wasn’t gonna see them again.

after that dealing with his emotions was NOT a thing maxwell did. he put up a ton of walls and refused to ever let anyone in. early on it made him come off angry, but eventually he became a RLY enthusiastic and friendly boy. he was nice to literally everyone in school. that Dude who somehow seemed to be pals with every friend group? he was that bitch

it was what made him popular bc tbh he was a big nerd his whole school career. he’s lowkey v GEEKY and makes a dumb bitch of himself a lot and if he hadn’t been purposely going around making friends with everyone he would’ve been p low on the ladder.

he was in theatre!!!! he loves bein dramatic as FUCK and Truly it was his passion besides law to follow after his mom. if that inspo hadn’t been in his life to make his mom proud he would’ve followed the Hollywood Dream but instead he’s just dramatic in every moment of his life to make up for it!!!!!skdjf

emotions are still a big NO for him. he usually fails in relationships bc he gets freaked out once the commitment gets TOO real. on the other hand he also falls in love w/ everyone always. he has a very soft nd pure heart deep down and if u catch his attention he’s swoonin for a few months at least. at least until he writes a poem abt his feelings and gets it all out so he can move on to the next.

he teaches pre-law, but he’s also still working on actual cases too. idk how bein a lawyer works if i’m gonna be real but his cases are def criminal based. tho unlike his mom he's not defending ppl who committed crimes but working to get them behind bars!! and he only takes on stuff where he’s 10000000000% sure that they’re guilty. he doesn’t wanna be the one putting innocent ppl behind bars and has in the past helped cases where he thinks they’re innocent. he’s v moral when it comes to being a lawyer.......... as moral as one can be u kno. he cares abt people!!!!!!

but he’s also kinda self-centered???? in a way. he’ll talk about how pretty/talented/great he is a lot but it’s always in a light jokin manner i promise he’s only a lil overly-confident. but also kinda doesn’t like himself. it’s COMPLICATED!

UM i could keep going but this is getting rambly he’s just one of my fave most developed ever muses so i care abt him A LOT !!!! if you’d like to plot just like this and i’ll bug u! but if u see an idea that u think might fit ur character pls come bother me i hate the awkward start of plotting so i’d love to SKIP IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE skdjfasdf (it’s only awkward bc i am Awkward i kno but kdjfsd) ANYWAYS HERE’S SOME IDEAS!!!!

exes. boys and girls. max is v bi and loves them both but also sucks at dating so u know how lucky. everyone gets to deal with max sucking (pun INTENDED)

high school friends. he was friends with as many people as he could handle in every group so anyone could work for this. there can be added drama of crushes/hook up/dated for 2 days, rly whatever!!

best friend. his #1 fave!! they make him a LITTLE more emotional but if they exposed him he’d be v angry. they know everything abt his life and vice versa, and they just mean a lot to each other! love that

crush. tbh since he’s weak he might have a few of these at once. he just gets drawn to good convos and fun ppl and he’s kinda weak from then on.

hook up. just someone he hooked up with maybe recently where it’s a lil awkward between them now. maybe they had a close friendship and WHOOPS they banged and now they’re not sure what to do or how to talk to each other. ://// tho max tries to just continue as normal whenever he sees them sdkfj SMOOTH

favorite student. P STRAIGHTFORWARD I THINK? like the student who doesn’t even have to be the smartest tbh. just the most fun since that’s what he likes the most. he def gives them special treatment smh :////

first love. prob a high school connection but this was the first person he TRULY loved and wanted to be with forever but then they broke up with him?????? i picture they’re older so it was a college thing but he was THE MOST HEARTBROKEN and still feels it to this day :/

fwb. casual, cool. they bang whenever they’re bored but that’s it. the kinda thing where they high five afterwards and congrat each other. sdkfjsd

childhood best friend. someone who was there for him through his parents deaths and maybe there was cute fake marriages and playing house and all that cute as Hell stuff ok pls..........

that’s all my brain can do for tonight bc it’s late but PLS GIVIE ME ALL THESE PLOTS!! I’LL CRY

#seasidesintro #;ooc #tw: death

[joannalannister]

Have you written anything on Jaime's decision at the end of AFFC? Because it's so associated with "Jaime breaking free of toxic Lannister (especially Cersei)" and I just didn't get that vibe from it?

Hi! I don’t think I’ve ever written anything about it because this topic is the wankiest of wank bait, but yeah, like you, I’ve personally never felt that Jaime was “breaking free” of the toxicity of House Lannister from his chapters in AFFC/ADWD. 

(I don’t know who or what you’re quoting in this ask, and I mean no offense to whoever is saying that. This is just my opinion on Jaime’s FeastDance chapters and obviously some people interpret it differently and that’s cool. I’m really not looking for wank here.)

So when you say “Jaime’s decision at the end of AFFC” I’m assuming you mean this one?

“No, my lord. The bird was from King’s Landing. I took the liberty … I did not know …” He held the letter out. 

Jaime read it in the window seat, bathed in the light of that cold white morning. Qyburn’s words were terse and to the point, Cersei’s fevered and fervent. Come at once, she said. Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once. 

Vyman was hovering by the door, waiting, and Jaime sensed that Peck was watching too. “Does my lord wish to answer?” the maester asked, after a long silence. 

A snowflake landed on the letter. As it melted, the ink began to blur. Jaime rolled the parchment up again, as tight as one hand would allow, and handed it to Peck. “No,” he said. “Put this in the fire.”

To me, this passage reflects how Jaime really doesn’t have the answers, at least right now: “He found himself wondering what his father would do to feed the realm, before he remembered that Tywin Lannister was dead.”

Cersei makes herself plain: “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

But how does Jaime feel about Cersei? Does he hate her? (And speaking of feelings, what does Jaime feel toward his father, who told him that love was useless? And what of Tyrion, the brother he loved? And what of Br*enne, a true knight from the stories come to life?) Can Jaime even help Cersei? Does he love her? (“The question is, who are you?”) (”Would you sooner have a father or a chair, lad? Jaime wished he knew the answer.”) Can he save her? Does he love her? Does he need her? Does he love her?

Jaime’s a whole mess of conflicted emotions right now, and he wishes things could be like they were:

There was a time, not long ago, when he might have been out making snowballs with the best of them, to fling at Tyrion when he waddled by, or slip down the back of Cersei’s gown. You need two hands to make a decent snowball, though.

But Jaime has only “One hand, clasped tight around the sword hilt. Only one” and really, literally, Jaime has no answers at the moment. So he delays, he demurs. “Put this in the fire.” He is not ready to answer Cersei yet.

“The sooner we are done with Riverrun, the sooner I’ll be back at Cersei’s side.” What Jaime would do then he did not know.

Consider:

“There is sitting and there is sitting, […] Each one [Tywin/Robb] waits for the other to move”

and:

Cersei gave him a lingering look. “You know,” she said, “for a moment you [Jaime] sounded quite like Father.”

I think you also have to consider the context of this decision. The maester reads his mail, and Jaime’s squire who admires and adores him “was watching too” so how could Jaime respond, even if he did have answers? ”Would you sooner have a father or a chair, lad? Jaime wished he knew the answer.” // “The question is, who are you?” // “We are not Targaryens!”

Also, everyone believes that Jaime is still a fearsome swordsman. I don’t think Cersei (or most people, for that matter) realizes that Jaime can’t be her champion. If Jaime were to champion her, Cersei would lose her trial (bad), and Jaime’s secret would be revealed (also bad). Jaime’s relying on his reputation. (And Genna said Jaime wasn’t Tywin’s true heir. Heh.) 

How can Jaime explain that he cannot help Cersei, cannot save her, and in a letter, no less? A letter read/written by Vyman, who served Edmure Tully, and Hoster before him? A letter that could easily be intercepted? No, he could not give Cersei an explanation in his letter. He could only give her a refusal, and that would infuriate her. (Does he love her? Does he love her? Does he love her?) 

He says these things in ADWD:

Past time this was ended, thought Jaime Lannister. With Riverrun now safely in Lannister hands, Raventree was the remnant of the Young Wolf’s short-lived kingdom. Once it yielded, his work along the Trident would be done, and he would be free to return to King’s Landing. To the king, he told himself, but another part of him whispered, to Cersei.

He would have to face her, he supposed. Assuming the High Septon had not put her to death by the time he got back to the city. “Come at once,” she had written, in the letter he’d had Peck burn at Riverrun. “Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.” Her need was real enough, Jaime did not doubt. As for the rest … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … Even if he had gone back, he could not hope to save her. She was guilty of every treason laid against her, and he was short a sword hand.

(^^This “She was guilty of every treason…” sort of makes me worried, as if Jaime is perhaps deflecting all the blame for his own treasons onto Cersei, like it doesn’t take two to tango….) 

Anyways … I personally wouldn’t describe this as Jaime ~breaking free~ of the Lannister regime when a part of him is looking forward to returning to Cersei. 

But I think there’s another part of Jaime that doesn’t want to return to Cersei, which is why he so readily jaunts off with Br*enne to chase his dreams of true knighthood. 

That’s the thing about Jaime imo. He’s a man divided. Torn between Lannister crimson and Kingsguard white, between his (older) sister and his baby brother, between Cersei and Br*enne, between one vow and another, between his loyalty to the Lannister regime and his aspirations of true knighthood. 

“So many vows … they make you swear and swear. Defend the king. Obey the king. Keep his secrets. Do his bidding. Your life for his. But obey your father. Love your sister. Protect the innocent. Defend the weak. Respect the gods. Obey the laws. It’s too much. No matter what you do, you’re forsaking one vow or the other.“

Jaime’s the middle child, Beauty and Beast both. We first meet him wearing black, but he’s renowned for his kingsguard white, but allegedly “it was that white cloak that soiled” Jaime and reduced him to this grey liminality. He vacillates back and forth, an ever swinging pendulum. One moment he is angered that Gregor would smash Pia’s teeth in, another moment fantasizing that he “smashed his sister’s teeth to splinters with his golden hand, just as Gregor Clegane had done to poor Pia.” 

I know I’ve talked about this before, but it’s like Jaime is trying to ride two horses in the Riverlands, and he can’t ride two horses. He’s trying to hold on to everything, Cersei and Tyrion, honor and glory, all that, but now he has only one hand, and he can’t hold on to two things at once any more. “Yet soon or late in every man’s life comes a day when it is not easy, a day when he must choose.”

But Jaime hasn’t come to that choosing yet. “Throw this in the fire.”

In ADWD we see the pendulum swing toward Br*enne, but what will happen in TWOW? How will Jaime feel when he learns his true knight has lied to him, and that even true knights can be grey? I imagine Jaime will feel betrayed. I suspect a second litany of betrayal for Br*enne, analogous to the one for Cersei: “… she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know …" 

“False as fool’s gold.” 

After escaping Stoneheart, Jaime will go to King’s Landing at last:

Once he found the Blackfish, he would be free to return to King’s Landing, where he belonged. My place is with my king. With my son. 

But I think Jaime arrives to find Tommen dead, and Cersei fled with Myrcella to her last stronghold, Casterly Rock, since KL is about to be destroyed, entirely. And Jaime will have failed yet another king. 

Nothing in AFFC/ADWD suggests to me that Jaime’s abandoned the Lannister regime, despite how angry he is at Cersei. He still supports Tommen, and I will bet money that Jaime follows Cersei to CR after the wildfire explosion at the end of TWOW and that he eventually recognizes Myrcella as his queen in the beginning of ADOS.

And I don’t know what’s going to push Jaime over the edge, but I will bet money that Jaime will valonqar Cersei at Casterly Rock in ADOS. I think this is Jaime’s choosing, and I think he will actively choose Lannister toxicity. Strangling your sister/lover sounds like a pretty toxic thing to me, no? idk I could be wrong, who knows.

But I don’t see Jaime actively working to bring down the Lannister regime. idk what happens with Jaime after Cersei’s death, all bets are off once she dies, but at least right now, there’s nothing to me that suggests that Jaime recognizes that Tommen has no right to the Throne, that the Lannisters have no right to sieze Riverrun, no right to hunt the Blackfish, or that the entire government is corrupt, things which I think would be necessary for Jaime to distance himself from the evils of House Lannister?

(I think it’s Tyrion who is beginning to understand that the Lannister regime is wrong, he was the only one calling out Lannister bullshit even when he was in the middle of said bullshit. Tyrion hasn’t yet escaped from Tywin’s dark, toxic shadow, but I think it’s Tyrion who does that, not Jaime.) 

TLDR - nope, im like you, i dont get that vibe either. Maybe I’m wrong tho *shrug emoji*

#lannister thoughts #hey friends its been a while #// #becauseforoncethisisme #/// #//// #jaime meta #jaime lannister #replies #jaime x cersei

[dasaene-archive]

This isn’t a new concept and idk if anyone is really interested, but I wanted to talk about my friends’, teachers’, or acquaintances’ types since I thought it might be fun to share my impressions of all of them. I’ve moved around a lot since my mom is in the military but have only learned about MBTI for two or three years, so even if I have met every type irl I can only really talk about the ones I remember.

ISTJ (my mom, 1 acquaintance)

h i l a r i o u s (without even trying to be)

Actually?? Gets things done??? Without saying anything??????

Tired. Tired all the dang time.

Ready to kill at any moment

Dog people

Always has to be doing something. If they’re not doing something, they’re bored.

Would die for their families

INFJ (my dad, I don’t think I’ve met any INFJs irl besides him and myself)

Done with life

Bad social anxiety

N E R D  N E R D  N E R D

Literally has a master’s degree in social work so like if you want a counselor he’s got the qualifications besides just being an INFJ

Thinks gender roles are stupid (he’s an emotional stay-at-home dad with long hair)

Took the test in college and got INTJ (lol relatable)

ISTP (my sister, 1 acquaintance)

Bored every day of their lives

Loves food

RBF. Like, never-ending soul-crushing RBF.

Acquaintance will not stop fixing up his dang truck (how many more mods can you do, man?? Need more lights????? MORE PAINT??????)

Everyone in freshman year had a crush on this truck-lovin fool

Has an excellent taste in fashion

Messy bedrooms

Arguing with family 24/7

Secretly hopeless romantics

INTP (friend)

Awkward but likes to observe people

Will talk about the weirdest crap with you w/o judgment

Went to two STEM camps and one band camp this summer

Likes languages and instruments but never has the motivation to learn them (wow same)

WHAT ARE FEELINGS

Will speak up if something’s off

High-key space nerd

Everyone wants to be her or be with her like seriously how does she do it while still being so awkward

INFP (3 friends)

Cringe city but generally fun to be around anyway

Loves to take care of their friends

Dog people (animal people in general)

Anime nerds. All of them.

Super creative procrastinators (one writes and one draws)

Will fite you if you disagree with (a.k.a. insult) their beliefs (I hate arguing w them tbh)

Nostalgic

Internal screaming

All three of them give off pretty different vibes (idk if it’s the Fi?? enneagram differences????)

ISFP (friend)

So?? Chill??????

Sinnamon roll

Everybody has a crush on her and everyone is heartbroken bc she lets them down so gently

Always hanging out with people and going outside

Has huge collections of stuff (teapots, duck plushies, figurines, onesies, it never ends)

Has a more eclectic taste in pets (snakes, hermit crabs, fish)

Phone is  a l w a y s  dead, like girl pls find a charger and an outlet

Sometimes we won’t text in like half a year but when we talk again it’s like nothing’s changed

ISFJ (2 friends)

One is a theatre nerd

Has arbitrary obsessions

One random event when they were 3 yrs old must have really changed them

Loves their phones

S m o l, like really really small

Secret meme queens

High-key hopeless romantics who love deeply but rarely

Hard workers and volunteers

ENTP (1 teacher, 1 friend[?])

The English teacher everybody hates (super annoying and disorganized)

...has a good sense of humor tho

Supervises the speech and debate team (and I’m sure if my friend[?] went to a school that had one of those she’d wreck everybody)

Very proud of their ancestry (one is Celtic, one is the descendant of Charlemagne)

Flirty and always lookin for love

B U S Y

Salty

ESTJ (1 teacher, 1 acquaintance)

The English teacher everybody hates (super meticulous and organized)

Rule is law, and unfortunately for you I really do like making my own rules

DO NOT ENGAGE, YOU WILL GET REKT

Loves to read

Silly. Like, for someone so serious, they are jokesters.

Pretends not to take things personally but has deep emotional capabilities

Too nosy for their own good

Love-hate relationship I have with them. Mutual respect.

ENFJ (friend)

Genuinely nice and motivated to help people

Tries to get everyone to focus on group projects

Twin is the ISTP acquaintance who won’t stop working on his truck. They ride ATVs together.

Also twins with flipped complementary function stacks? Nice

Seems airheaded, is really not

She has long curly hair. Idk this seemed notable to mention

Competitive but will be really warm to you while trying to crush you

Looks introverted at first glance, but is just kinda chill when not in study mode

ESFJ (1 friend, 1 acquaintance)

One is pretty stereotypical, the other is a nerdy goofball

Actually both hate popularity and being fake so I guess they both hopped onto the individuality train in terms of who they hang out with

Acquaintance is a Southern Belle™ and is dating truck-lovin’ ISTP (dang this dude is e v e r y w h e r e, you’d think he is an ESTP but no)

Nerdy goofball is addicted to collecting pins and drinking cherry slushies

Have that “XD” kinda Ne humor

Don’t like to talk about themselves a lot but love people

Do really appreciate a good selfie tho

ENFP (friend)

Flirt. Like, dangerously flirty considering she’s dating someone

Uses :3c ironically so much that it’s become unironic

Distinctive fashion that goes from girly to androgynous in 2 seconds flat, but is always presentable

Reads bad fanfiction for fun

Makes fun of my dad’s knobbly knees

Determined to achieve her dreams

Makes a good first impression on adults, really is just a depressed memer

INTJ (acquaintance)

Quiet, but will laugh boisterously at dark humor

Left a note in my yearbook at the end of the year saying that when I first started at that school he thought I was a horrible pretentious jerk but then he realized I was a quirky but intelligent weirdo and he wished me well wherever I was moving

Like no joke that was the best thing I’ve ever read written about me I was laughing no one was that honest with me in that dang school and I didn’t even know the guy very well

WILL call you out if you do or say something wrong

A ~mystery~

Probably had a silent existential crisis every day at lunch

ESFP (acquaintance)

L O U D

so,, emotional??

Popular as crap. Like, really popular

Because he’s popular drama follows him wherever he goes

Voted Best Dancer in the yearbook superlatives every year bc boi this dude will not stop dancing

Used to have that Sokka haircut. You know the one

Bites his tongue a lot bc he has so many opinions but isn’t ready to stop the nice vibes ya know

Protective of his mom and younger siblings

I probably met an ESTP and ENTJ at some point in my life buuut no one notable comes to mind so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#mbti #all types #mine

[weed-hotel]

welp i got tagged by apollo slimeman @sunshinegoths and I Love Oversharing (even tho i dont even have an abt page lmao)

nicknames: i dont rly have any..... apollo calls me srinivasan bc i like to go by my last name bc Names Suck. my family calls me like silvertunes or silverbells

gender: nah

star sign: virgo not that anyone couldnt tell

height: like 5′7

time: 10:55 according to my laptop but thats wrong its actually 10:48. around when im finishing this its like 11:07

birthday: september 20 i just turned 17

favorite bands: idk like. pvris and fob probably i have rly garbage music taste

favorite solo artists: hozier... i cant remember any more. also porter robinson.

song stuck in my head: i dont have a song stuck in my head rn but. not to sound like A Kpop. all of yesterday i had pretty boy stuck in my head bc of apollo but i dont actually know the song so i just had the “PRETTY BOY” part running thru my head for like. hours. screw u apollo

last movie i watched: i started carol? but i was high and didnt have the attention span for it. last full movie was probably... it (2017)? maybe

last show i watched: master chef. or unhhhh depending on whether one counts Internet Shows.

when did i create my blog: i created it like 2013 or some shit but i didnt use it until like late 2015 maybe 2016

what do i post about: garbage?? idk man lesbian stuff/aesthetic/foxhole court/literally whatever i want this Is My Kingdom

last thing i googled: ...air quality + the ca fires tbh but also ronald reagan bc i wanted to see when he died and if it was painful

do i have any other blogs: nah i barely know how this website works tbh. i think at one point i was gonna make an aes sideblog but then i just stopped caring abt what goes on my main

do i get asks: nah. yall can feel free to but i just. dont very often

why i chose my url: its a quote from jean cocteau’s la belle et la bête (1946). its part of the commands one (belle, in the scene) uses to control la bêtes magic horse. his name is la magnifique.

following: 36

followers: 45

average hours of sleep: honestly like 8-11 and yet im still completely exhausted and low energy all the time so thats cool

favorite number: dont rly have one. maybe 9. its divisible and shit also i think my brother hated that number when he was younger so like. thats a bonus

instruments: used to play cello and that was awesome but i quit idr why. i also sing but i have kind of a shit range so i cant really do anything

what am i wearing: black jeans black tank top and a sweatshirt i stole from my moms boyfriend steve

dream job: i dont really know but tbh i was born white + upper middle class in america to educated parents so i mostly just want to use all that lottery of birth shit to help people. gonna do poli sci in college and hopefully will go to law school

dream trip: ive been vaguely planning (who knows if it will happen) a europe trip for a while. i rly want to start in eastern europe and do kind of a wwii based tour type thing but like. thats expensive as hell and my mom wont let me travel alone. not to be That Guy but my mom and her friend own a house in france + it looks like we might go next summer so that would be cool. also then i could drag apollo and we could Travel Europe like its the damn 1920s and we’re displaced ex pat writers and debutantes struggling to reconcile the atrocity of war with the infinite opportunity of youth

favorite food: ??? no idea it changes all the damn time. i lw really love low quality instant mac and cheese tho. like kraft or some shit

nationality: american. im p much the whitest person on earth too

favorite song right now: idk. i keep listening to we all float down here by four year strong and bodybag by hit the lights but i dont actually like/listen to those bands. also arsonists lullaby by hozier + shelter and years of war by porter robinson. oh i forgot him earlier im gonna add him to the solo artists question. also also whats it gonna be by shura

fuck me this got long. i dont really have anyone to tag but like. if we’re mutuals and u want to Overshare as well feel free to say i tagged u.

#good lord in heaven #i was listening to music as i wrote this so all the music questions gave me a mini stroke #thx apollo! smooch

[minnygonagall]

Blackinnon/Marauders (School Era) - “Close Call”

words: 2479 (oops?)

prompt/intro: Hey, so this was something that was originally part of a really long fic that I’ve just been writing for my own sanity and then I saw this post and had already written a couple of rough scenes that were very similar (like, eerily similar except featuring Marlene/Sirius instead of James/Lily), so I decided to make it a separate one-shot and post it here. Here you go, here is this thing. The whole fic will probably never see the light of day, tho. Anyway, this has been a really long intro, soz. Here’s a Marauder-y, Blackinnon-y, beginning of Jily-y (but not really? idk) thing for you.

disclaimer: the aesthetic board was put together by me, all pictures were pulled from google. if you want a shorter, au!blackinnon with older sirius and marlene, then this is a thing I wrote way back

Astronomy at NEWT level served Marlene no real purpose other than her own interests. Since she was a kid, she’d been obsessed with the stars. She’d also always loved an excuse to purposefully be up and around the castle late at night, and the fascination hadn’t weaned as she’d gotten older.

The Astronomy NEWT class was small because the people that just needed more NEWT grades to add to their register had opted for Care of Magical Creatures and Divination over Astronomy. Marlene McKinnon was the only Gryffindor in a pack of Ravenclaws and two Hufflepuffs. Though she missed having Lily by her side, it was almost relaxing to have a class where she didn’t know anyone. Of course, she knew everyone because, well, this is Hogwarts after all and everyone knows everyone else, but she wasn’t friends with any of them so the expectations weren’t there.

Loitering in the tower after the lesson, Marlene saw three figures headed out of the castle. Being at the very top of the castle, it was impossible to tell who it was, but the light from one’s wand cast three distinct shadows. While not being a prefect and having absolutely no authority, it was a full moon and she didn’t want to take any chances on whether the rumors about werewolves in the Forbidden Forest were real. It was probably just a few First Years being First Years; she could just talk authoritatively at them, and they’d run back to their common rooms.

It took her a while to get to the first floor, but as soon as she did, she snuck out of the castle and onto the grounds. She followed the voices, wand at the ready as she drew closer to the now recognizably male voices.

“I’ll check it out. You two go ahead,” one of the voices said. Marlene stopped in her tracks and quieted her breathing. She slowly kept walking forward since there wasn’t anything to hide behind. “Lumos,” the guy said, followed by a short, “dammit.” The paces quickened towards her. “Marls, what are you doing out here? Get back in the castle.”

“Black?” Marlene illuminated her wand as well. “What the hell are you doing out here? Who else was out here with you?”

“No one.”

“Bullshit. There were three of you; I saw you from the Astronomy Tower.”

Sirius ran his tongue his lip and cursed again. “Marls, please, go back inside the castle. You don’t need to worry about us.”

“I’m not leaving until you explain what you’re doing out here,” Marlene followed him as he had turned to walk back to the large tree.

When Sirius had spun around, even in the wand lighting, Marlene had never seen him so angry. “Marlene, please, go inside.”

“Not until you tell me why you’re out here.”

A howl ripped through the air, and what Marlene thought could only be fear flashed across Sirius’s face. “Inside. Now.” There was another howl, now significantly louder. And another, almost immediately after. His hands grasped her shoulders. “Please. I’ll explain tomorrow. Just get inside.”

Over Sirius’s shoulder, Marlene saw—no, it couldn’t be. She looked up at the sky, and then back at Sirius. “He’s right behind you,” Marlene let out a shaky breath as she saw the werewolf coming closer to them.

“I’ll fend him off. Just don’t freak out. Take a couple steps back, slowly.” Once she had gotten a few steps further away, she saw Sirius easily transform into a black dog, turn and jump at the wolf.

What the? Marlene fell off her feet, feeling the shock of her friend transforming into an animal. She started slowly crawling backward, not being able to take her eyes off the scene in front of her, and trying to make as little sound as possible. Once she finally felt that she could stand, she almost felt like falling again because the wolf picked up Sirius and tossed him through the air.

When she went to raise her wand to the wolf, she realized that it was gone. “Shit,” Marlene gasped and turned to run back to the castle.

How had she gotten out of the castle? How could she get back in?

Her shoulder got pulled back, and she let out a scream as pain shot through her body. The force of the pull made her fall on her back. The wolf towered over her, staring into her eyes when a stag bucked the wolf away.

“RUN!” another voice shouted from further back. Marlene grabbed her shoulder and ran as fast as her shaking legs could manage back to the castle. When she found her way back into the castle, she collapsed, needing to stop and take a break once to safety. Looking down at her shoulder, she almost fainted at how much blood had collected on her clothes. She pushed herself up from the windowsill behind her and walked towards the Hospital Wing, where Madam Pomfrey had been waiting up, but clearly not expecting this. “Oh dear, oh dear.”

After the gruesome pain from the dittany and Marlene’s thoughts had moved past constant pain, Marlene was counting days. It made sense, and the thought had never occurred to her that Remus could genuinely be a werewolf before tonight. Sure, she’d thought it was suspicious that he disappeared once a month at the full moon and she’d had the thought at first, but after she got to know Remus, she’d figured it was impossible. There was no way he was a werewolf, maybe a parent, yeah, but did it really matter? No, and she wasn’t going to force him to tell her, so she’d just dropped the idea.

She’d asked Pomfrey, who had paused but not said anything.

However, as soon as Pomfrey was certain that Marlene wasn’t going to die, she’d sent an elf to fetch Dumbledore, who—solemnly but promptly and quickly—arrived and told her about Remus and the planting of the Whomping Willow and swore her to secrecy. He’d calmly told her that there was no bite so there wouldn’t be a transformation. He also told her he wasn’t quite sure what would happen because of the marks. They were probably just scars she would live with, but to make sure they were nothing more, he would be leaving in the morning to go and investigate.

Marlene was very adamant that she didn’t want Remus to be blamed. To construct whatever story to make sure that Remus could stay at Hogwarts and not have people know about his lycanthropy.

“There is a pack of wolves in the forest. They’re completely harmless, very intelligent creatures. Beautiful things from the result of two werewolves mating on a full moon. The professors would know that it’s not true, of course, but it would keep students away from the forest. I think it might even be the start of a good rumor,” the Headmaster smiled up at her from his seat beside her bed. He pulled out another sweet for her, but this time she declined. “You’re quite right. I’m sure Madam Pomfrey will be wanting you to rest. I will talk to Mr. Lupin before setting out and assure him that we will all be doing what we can to keep him at Hogwarts.”

Marlene was exhausted, and she fell asleep as Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey were conversing a ways away.

She woke up because of shouting. She couldn’t see anyone due to the partition hiding her bed from view, but someone was definitely shouting not far from her.

“If you don’t let me back there now, I’m just going to sneak around when you’re not looking. You know that.”

“Mr. Black,” Pomfrey’s calm voice responded, “please quit shouting. Mr. – MR. BLACK!”

Sirius was rounding around the partition and he stopped the instant he saw her. There were bags under his eyes, and his hair was in knots. “You’re awake?” It was a breathy statement as if he was shocked to see her still alive at all.

“That I am.”

Seeing him had made her unexpectedly emotional. For Merlin knows how long he’s been risking his life at the full moon for his friend’s sanity. There was nothing for werewolf transformations. No potion, no cure, no hope. But werewolves only posed a threat to humans, so if Sirius—maybe even James—had become animagai … they’d known and they’d broken wizarding law for their friend.

“Are you,” he stopped, about to say hurt, “alright?”

Blinking away tears before they could fall down her face, Marlene nodded, “I’m fine,” thanks to you. 

“I’m so sorry, Miss McKinnon, Mr. Black, if you would-”

“No,” Marlene interjected, leaning forward and waving her arm out at Madam Pomfrey before instantly regretting it, “um, please, I’m fine. Could I … Could I speak to Sirius alone for a moment?” The Healer shot a look towards Sirius, raised her eyebrows, shook her head slightly, and walked back into her office.

Sirius was at her side a moment later, and as soon as the door shut, Marlene was turned fully towards Sirius, folding her legs up but making care not to move her right arm too much. “Sirius, thank you. I-I don’t know what to say other than that. What you, and James, I’m assuming?”

“And Pete.”

“Peter? Really?”

A nod, “Yeah,” his voice softened to barely a whisper, “James was the stag. Pete’s a rat, helps a ton getting into the Willow.”

“Well, then thank Peter for me too. What the three of you can do is incredible. How long have you …”

“Uh, we’ve been working on it since third year, but we only perfected it fifth year.”

“You three have always been impeccable at Transfiguration. Guess that explains it.”

Sirius just nodded, causing the two to rest in silence for a few minutes. He was fiddling with the worn, leather cuff on his wrist, picking at the edges, his eyes trained on Marlene’s hands—the fingers of her right twisting the ring on her left pointer.

“Marlene-I.”

Did he say it? Should he say it?

“I’ve never been that scared in my entire life. When I saw it was you on the grounds, I nearly lost it. I-I nearly hexed you to bring you back to the castle myself. Maybe I should’ve, but-I. I don’t know, I was hoping you would go on your own. For Remus to get past James,” he shook his head, dropping his head to his hands, knotting his fingers through his hair.

“He says he could smell the two of us out on the grounds. I don’t know how, he’s never-before, he’s never been able to. I’m not sure, Marlene, but as soon as I knew he was out all I was concerned about was if you got back to the castle safe. And your shoulder, I-Marls, I’m so sorry. If I had been quicker, then he wouldn’t have-”

“It’s not your fault, Sirius. I was the one on the grounds. If I hadn’t gone to investigate the figures I saw from the Astronomy Tower, then none of this would have happened.”

“Exactly, you saw us, Marls. That makes this our fault. We’re normally so careful. Pete will usually transfigure in the dormitory and head down before James and me. James … James has this cloak. It’s an invisibility cloak that been passed down through his family for years, but we’ve both grown a lot over the summer. It doesn’t cover the both of us, and I haven’t perfected the Disillusionment Charm yet. We were reckless and later than usual because we didn’t know how to get all three of us down there.”

He reached out to grab her left hand, encasing her hand between his two. “Marls, I’m so, so sorry.” His eyes stung as tears slid down his face.

Not sure what else to say, Marlene tried to smile as she said, “I’ve never seen you cry before, Black.”

“That’s because I bloody love you, Marls.”

Her breath caught in her throat as Sirius rested his head on their enclosed hands. She brought her free hand to his hair. “I love you too, Sirius.”

Releasing a shaky laugh, he brought his head up to hers to kiss her.

Marlene’d had a hard time keeping the truth from Lily. It’d only been 24 hours, but the girl was too damn inquisitive for her own wellbeing. She already knew about Remus, but there was no reasonable way to explain how she’d gotten away from a werewolf on her own, with no wand.

“She won’t tell anyone, Sirius, I swear.”

“I’ll have to talk to James and Pete, Marls.”

“Mr. Black, I’m about to lock the ward for the night. You should head back to Gryffindor common room before curfew.”

With a kiss to Marlene’s forehead, Sirius was out of the hospital wing without complaint. When he got to the sixth-year boy’s dorm and Frank was safely in the showers, Sirius had a meltdown for the second night in a row.

“We should tell her,” offered James, “she already knows about Moony. We know she can keep a secret. She’ll know we’re doing this for him. She cares about Remus. She’s your friend; she’s Marlene’s friend. What we’re doing isn’t a game, anymore. It’s not a fun party trick; this is dangerous what we’re doing.”

“Marlene and I should do it,” Remus followed after a silent minute between the best friends. “It’ll come across best that way.”

“Sure you’re up to it, Moony?”

“Yeah, it’s the best way. She won’t believe you two without proof. She’ll believe Marlene and me,” Remus turned to Peter, who’d remained silent the entire time, “You ‘kay with this, Pete?” He simply nodded. “Alright. I’ll see if Lily wants to go see her before breakfast, but I’m sure she will. You think she’s still in the common room?”

James nodded, “I’d bet she’s probably working on that Charms essay.”

The next morning, Lily and Remus walked to the hospital wing, chatting easily about class and prefect duty. Remus gave a short nod to Marlene as they entered, an understanding passing between the pair. Marlene started, switching off with Remus as soon as she mentioned the word werewolf, who explained his perspective and then back-explained everything about Sirius, James, and Peter.

Marlene was released from the hospital wing, and instead of breaking off—Marlene and Lily sitting with the other sixth year girls and Remus sitting with the other Marauders—Marlene sat next to Sirius, Lily sat next to James, and Remus sat on her other side.

They easily settled into a conversation about classes, and a peace settled over the six. Whatever meaningless feud had been going on between them was over. They weren’t adults, but they needed to start acting like them.

#my writing #blackinnon #marauders #fanfiction #lily evans #rl #remus lupin #sirius black #sb #james potter #marlene #marlene mckinnon #jily #minnygonagall #aestheitcs #harry potter

[poipoi1912]

Barba Theories Part 2

(i.e. a looooooong rundown of your theories, thank you for sending them <33333)

To recap, here is the original teaser/spoiler, and here are my original theories/Part 1:

professional misconduct for political gain

a straight-up political/work scandal 

an inappropriate personal relationship

financial misconduct 

dick pics on his iPhone 

membership to the Pirate Booty Treasure Chest  

Here are some of the responses I got (some via replies, some via reblogs, and some via asks):

Personal Secret

First of all, many of you agreed it’ll be the Pirate Booty thing, which, d’oh. But is that really a secret?

Secondly, the tags used by @lambnoire speak to me:

#barba's secret is giving me anxiety tho #idk what im going to do if they compromise his morality as a character

Thirdly, most of you feel it will be a personal secret. Which might be wishful thinking, because we all thirst for more details about Barba’s personal life:

sunshine-and-the-catsuit answered: I’m kinda hoping for the relationship thing, personally. Maybe he kept emails that he shouldn’t have…or something like that. Or hid information he shouldn’t have..to help a friend.

I feel this might be accurate. Barba bending the rules (more on that below) for a lover or a friend (say, Alex Munoz or Eddie etc), out of loyalty. That would compromise him somewhat, but his motives would still be relatively pure. Depending on the rule/law he broke, of course.

revolutionarynerd answered: A sexual secret. Even in NYC a bisexual ADA for instance would raise eyebrows. My money is on Barba’s personal private life getting spread all over the news/internets in the course of a hacking operation targeting someone higher up.

@leaper182​ said: That's a really good point. Hmm. I wonder if maybe Rafael had an affair with a politician who's married or something. I can't see Rafael himself being in the closet -- he comes across more as someone who doesn't advertise that he's bisexual, but he wouldn't deny it if he were asked point-blank about it either. But maybe if he made the mistake of having an affair with a married man or something, and it's this big ~shocker~ because this guy was all about straight marriage or something...? Hmmm. :\            

an anon who likes to toy with my emotions said: Barba theories/plot bunnies; 1. It's a revenge porn ep and when the suspect('s allies) find out Barba is prosecuting they threaten to leak sexts/nudes/dating profiles b/c they do not know who they are fucking with. Barba goes ahead, out for blood & maybe even using it to score some points in court. But then after sentencing we see his private self; humiliated, confidence wilting. Not helped by the media hi-lighting his humiliation rather than his victory.

Re; Barba being in the closet: there are valid arguments on both sides. If Barba is not straight (just for speculation purposes, of course, because we’ve never seen him with a romantic partner) it’s possible he would be out and proud, because he seems like he doesn’t give a fuck about what people think of him. But it’s also possible he’d be in a glass closet, just for the sake of his job (and/or his future aspirations. I touched on this in my fic Running, btw, which involves Barba running for the DA position). So he may, in fact, want his “secret” to stay a secret.

I must say, the idea of forcibly outing Barba is interesting, because it would allow for an intense but not necessarily preachy Very Special Episode, plus we might get some awesome Raul acting in the process, but would the current writers care enough to do that well?

The idea of a forbidden affair (with a woman or a man who’s married or otherwise problematic) seems a little more likely. Especially if it’s someone else at the DA’s office, and they both get exposed. Maybe Barba would choose to fall on his sword to protect his partner? This could give us some juicy moments for sure.

At any rate, I’d love to see Barba with a crack in his armor. Either because he feels exposed, or because he’s willing to be exposed to protect someone he cares about.

Professional Secret

its-bucky-bitches said: Hi just looking at you questions & answers about what the potential threat to Barba could be & I know a lot of people are saying it's a hack like they took something from his life & released it but what if he's being set up? Framed in some way? // Like what if the "secret" is something incriminating the hackers planted into Barbas computer and that the team find & then in the end use Barba to lure them out of hiding to capture/kill them?             

I love this. It might not necessarily fit with the concept of a “secret” (i.e. something Barba has been hiding) but I LOVE the idea of a frame-up. Barba would be indignant, and the squad would be supportive, they’d reassure him they don’t believe the hackers and they’ll do anything in their power to restore his reputation. That would give us a much needed glance into the SVU team dynamics, and it would show us just how much Liv and the squad value Barba. So it definitely won’t happen.

OH HELL NO Secret

an anon who likes to toy with my emotions said: (I'm paranoid it might be something like this) Barba commited/is accused of commiting a sex crime & evidence points to him doing so. If he did, he defends himself, saying he knows now it was wrong, it was long time ago, he's a different person, he's grown since then - but it alienates him from the SVU squad when they find out. The hacked info is used to discredit him and his work with SVU, & by extension squad themselves.            

NOPE.

I do like the idea of a secret which would compromise his work/the convictions he’s managed to get in his career, BUT NOPE. Like, you might be on the right track re; a secret which would paint him, the DA’s office and the squad in a bad light, and that’s the reason they all need to solve the case, if not make sure the secret stays hidden, but HELL NO.

More Hell No Secrets

an anon who likes to toy with my emotions A LOT said: Turns out he may have actually killed his Dad. 4. Barba is in fact innocent (excluding withholding of evidence) and it's information that somehow threatens his mother. Or else, shows him burying something harmful to his mother. 5. The hacking reveals something with his health - I'd bet on psychiatric, maaaybe rehab of some kind.       

On another show, I might appreciate topics like these being explored delicately. On SVU, nah. I would love a reference to Barba’s mother/family, but the fact the DA’s office is hacked, and that’s how Barba’s secret is revealed (via his work email, basically) probably means it would involve either Barba’s work or his personal life (because he may have foolishly used a work account for something non-work-related). 

Actual Secret

@webbgirl34​ has what is probably the most likely theory, though:

With the way this season has gone, I’d be willing to lay money it ends up being something to do with Liv. Like him covering up for something for her or him doing something on the gray side to help her out.

I can just see that happening. Barba will reach out to Liv, not to reveal a personal secret which might give us some insight into his character (God forbid!), but to tell her something she already knows. Like, “Hey, Liv, remember that time I helped you with (X)? It’s back to bite us in the ass. We need to fix this, or both we could both lose our jobs.”

Imagine if Barba’s secret involves, like, Johnny D (remember, lol?) i.e. Noah’s paternity, i.e. the time Barba was perfectly willing to bend the rules to help Olivia? Or, if the writers are unwilling to rewatch their own show and revisit actual past events, what if they come up with another instance of him possibly even breaking the law, just to help Liv?

Last season, we did see a Barba who followed the rules and ratted on Liv/Tucker, but arguably that was because he was mad/jealous. Or, because he really was that stringent about the law (lol). Maybe we’ll go back to rule-bending Barba? In a ret-conned way (since we won’t actually witness said rule-bending)? We’ll hear about a made up past incident, a plot contrivance, to better sel the “secret” angle?

Again, I can totally see this happening. I just hope it doesn’t. Even though it would likely be better than a potentially compromising, salacious and deeply personal secret.

Lastly, my own tags:

#omg now that i read the barba spoiler #i feel like it'll be totally anticlimactic #the da's office is hacked #so like barba's work email #watch as his secret is totally boring 

Fingers crossed it’s something which showcases Raul's talent.

#rafael barba #raul esparza #svu #law and order svu #so much for shitposting #i'm giving you actual content #speculation #barba thoughts #long post #looooooong post #but i promised #and here it is #thanks so much for sending me your thoughts guys #let's hope the actual episode doesn't let us down #lol who am i kidding #of course it will let us down #oh well