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#idk if my new meds have anything to do with this as well i just know i'm TIRED and UPSET and SICK
cinnaminsvga · 2 months
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actual conversation i had with my dental hygienist
hygienist: so what did you study at university?
me: chemistry...
hygienist: damn, no wonder you look so sad!
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byanyan · 10 days
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still alive but still struggling
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transmechanicus · 1 year
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“I’ll be fine i just need to uhhhhhhh idk kill” but like…what if i did haha
#my stuff#dear diary and the several thousand mfs who can see it. Despite arguably good academic performance today feels like a bad day#bc i skipped lab to take a nap#and i feel lonely and incapable of connecting more than superficially with my classmates#like i can talk to them and i do and we get along well but i never…hang out w em#or at least not as much as they seem to without me#it’s not a malicious thing i think a huge part of it is groups of ppl living or working in the same space#and i’m in a different lab building than a lot of ppl#idk…struggling to find anything that sparks joy. unable to see the future with optimism#it’s just day after day of Job where i’ll beat myself up on weekends if i don’t do Even More Work#bc that’s the nature of grad school. always homework or literature review to do like i give a shit abt the latter#i don’t care what other people are doing i don’t wanna obsessively comb through journals to make sure i’m doing Brand New Shit#i want it to stop#i don’t want to read anymore. i don’t wanna have to worry about my job outside of work.#i want to cry and scream and#like i don’t wanna quit after i worked so hard to get here#i don’t wanna wuss out#but i’m always tired. i’m never rested or relaxed or truly enjoying myself#why is this only hard for me…how tf is everyone else able to read and remember and understand this much??#like yeah maybe i should be on adhd meds but those are fuckin spensive and a pain in the ass to get#i’m tired of being tough#i want to curl into a ball and be told it’s going to be okay and that i can rest and have it not be a lie or a half measure
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daz4i · 11 months
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when ww said "this is not my life, I'm no survivor, i only happened to survive"
#he gets it he really does.#hate when ppl call me resilient or are proud of me for surviving shit. girl i did not do anything to be here now. in fact quite the contrary#i am permanently in survival mode and I'm trying so hard to turn it off. but mostly in 1 direction and not the one most ppl hope#sigh. I'm tired man 😐 i just started new mood stabilizers and I'm anxious as fuck#(well. not new. i was on them before when i was a teen. can't remember why i stopped tho)#the whole trying new pills is depressing bc well. there's p much nothing left for me to try#i had a call with her this week. i mentioned it i think. but most of it was trying to figure out if there's meds i never tried out there#the only other one we considered to maybe replace my current antidepressant is very new to the market aka she doesn't know what it does yet#so. instead of replacing. adding stabilizers and hope they don't make things even worse (but lbr they probably will)#I'm very close to giving up yet again. idk what there even is to give up on anymore. my life is nothing with a side of void#but giving up is the only thing i know how to do. I'm too anxious to do anything else. i don't know how to do anything else#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh really wanna cut rn but i already have some wounds on my hands and arms + I'm in enough pain as is so what's the use#vent#i should sleep. idk if i can. I've been trying all day and failed. I'm so tired#i wish i didn't wake up man 😐 i wish i died. tonight#suicide //#not really but implied ig#self harm mention //#ask to tag
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lestatlioncunt · 1 year
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feeling so unwell today i need to lay down on a bed and slowly pass out fr
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oval3000 · 7 months
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Chapter 3
Yandere Psych Patient König x Nurse Reader
Warning: Possesive, Obsession, Death, Gore, Blood, Smut, Toxic behavior, age gap.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
(This might suck idk. I don't know German so it's all Google translate)
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He hasn't left his room for a month. They kept him in their with the straitjacket on. His meals are just vitamins that he has to swallow. You would go in to check up on him, but new orders from the administrator's to not go near at all, so you pass by his room. You would peak through the little window and see him laying on his back with little no to motion on his arms or body entirely. His psychiatrist, Dr. Smith is the only that goes in there. They have sessions in his room instead of the usual spot they have it in.
She was pissed at everyone, specifically you. You are her punching bag, even though it was Ben's fault. "Why hasn't he been given his meds!" She yelled at you.
"We are not allowed to go i-" you tried to explain your her, but she could care less.
"You are his nurse right! Your job is to give him his meds! How did you graduate when you can't even do that!" She yelled at you.
You plead for her to listen to you "I'm sorry, Dr. Smith. I can't it's Mr. Millers orders. No one can go in except you because you are his psychiatrist."
So she strolled her way to the administrator's office.
Ignoring his assistant from telling her that she can't go in. Slaming the door open to see him sitting on his chair, writing whatever cral he writes on paper.
"Sarah calm down!"
"Do you have any idea how dangerous he is, and you want me to deal with him alone! On top of that the lack of guards is making my job harder!" Dr. Smith argued with a hand on her hips and her finger pointing towards Ben.
"Do you remeber when you wanted a nurse to look after him." She rolled her eyes. Yes, you, the nurse. "Do you have any idea how much money is going towards her. Triple the pay for looking after him."
Her hands swing in motion, showing her frustration. "She can't even do her fucking job Ben!"
"If she's alive, then she's doing her job well. What's making this hard, is you barging into my office and telling me what to do when you are the one demanding this." He stood up from his chair, fixing his navy tie. "We're loosing staff. People don't want to go near him. Gabriel is threatening to sue the company. Gaurds are quiting left and right so sorry that there aren't enough staff attending your needs."
She crossed her arms with an annoying sigh leaving her lips tinted with red lipstick. "Then hire more people, I don't see the problem?"
"Did you not hear what I said" he walked towards her, standing toe to toe to her. "Majority of our budget is going towards (Y/n). She's been here for two months now, lasting longer than any other nurses. We can't afford another hire with the same pay to deal with König. Besides he hasn't actually killed anyone in those two months, I'll take that than dealing with someone who has a broken jaw from a simple punch."
"Then ask for more money." She scuffed like if it was a joke she said.
He laughed at her face, "Do you think the government cares to fund more for this place, I already have the staff on my ass for new medical supplies, do you think they are gonna hand me the budget to hire someone with triple pay just because you are scared."
"Then fire (y/n) and hire a new guard, maybe someone with military experience."
"Why would I do that. You came into my office, spreaded your legs cause you were so desperate for a nurse and now you want me to fire her. She hasn't done anything in particularly wrong."
"She doesn't follow orders!"
"She does, you just make it difficult." He came in defense.
"Wasn't she trying to stop you from putting him into a straitjacket?" She smirked while her arms crossed at her chest.
"Yes, and she was right. Putting him in a straitjacket does nothing. He was fine it's just that..." he closed his eyes taking deep breath.
"Just what?" She came closer to him, placing her hand on his shoulder, gently caressing it.
He turned his head to her, he used to lovy dovey with her seduction, but now it's more annoyance. "Eli, the other guard, came to my office the other day and told me that Gabriel was provoking König."
She rolled her eyes, looking around his office. Paying attention to the paintings hanged up on the wall and the light objects he has on his desk. "Like what? Making fun of him? We all make fun the people here what else is new?"
"I don't know the full details, but that's what he told me." He sat a bit on his desk.
"Why does that matter?" She shook her head without a single thought in her brain.
"Gabriel is threatening to sue us. If we fight the legal action, we'll have to defend König. König, just like any other patient represent us, our care. If they find out that Gabriel was the one that caused this, making König the victim it doesn't look good after we placed him in the straitjacket. Like we silencing him out. It will ruin our reputation, we'll all loose our jobs and you fucked your way up here for nothing."
"But he harmed a worker, beside murdered multiple people." She let out a little chuckle, placing her hand on his chest.
He didn't give in, instead, he gave her a stare. "He's ex- military and as for you being his psychiatrist, you'll have to speak on behalf of him. Meaning that people will find out about you, how you never studied to become a doctor you fucked every professor you had to get your degree."
"What are you saying, Ben." Her smile dropped.
"I won't fire (Y/n). She stood up for König, making us look like we care about our patients. As for Gabriel, all he's asking is for some 20,000 thousand dollars, which we can easily give him worth than standing infront of the judge. Which means that we can't afford new guards for you. Besides they're taking off his straitjacket today, so stop being so scared and do your dam job."
"I still think you should fire, (Y/n) atleast." She hummed, wrapping her arms around his waist.
"I'm not doing that. Beside she's the only staff that doesn't barge in here demanding stuff. She nice and sweet...." he looked down to the side, " and...young and beautiful. "
She let go of his waist, clenching her jaw. Yes, you being so beautiful. "So what? You want to fuck her? Is that it. Never head young pussy before?"
"You should leave, I have work to do and so do you. This discussion is over." He walked to his desk, sitting down on his chair, unbutton his last few buttons from his dark, navy, blazer.
She stormed off his office, angrly stomping on the white tile floors with her heels creating a louder noise.
You heard the word going around that their taking of his straitjacket, so you quickly gathered what you need to check him up. You saw as the guards took off. He let out a big stretched, flexing more of his muscles. It caused a scare to the guards like a lion letting out a roar.
You walked up to and saw more of his face. He stared at you.
He missed you. He never thought he would miss you. During that month of not seeing you was a time he contemplated about you. Are you made for him or not. He will shut his eyes and images of you will pop up. You smiling at him. Taking good care of him. Watching you squirm under him as you take his full length cock inside your pussy. He'll treat you with respect as long as you do what he says that's all. Seeing your belly swell up with his baby. Can't wait to fuck your tits filled with milk. Can't wait to impregnate you with multiple of his children, making one big happy family. How protective he'll be for his kids, for you. To stand up to the bullies, to show them not to be scared of anything. To hold them if they cry.
He should kill you for making him react this way. He should just kill you. You are just another nurse thinking they have control over him. He use to give orders to people, being the colonel and all, he got the respect he fought for, why does he feel weak around you. You are so sweet and joyful to him. If he was back in the field and saw you, would he kill you. Or maybe fuck you. Maybe that's it. He hasn't done it in so long, so long he hasn't touch a women. He should've just fucked one of the other nurses. Yes, maybe he should do that. Fuck a nurse, just to see. I mean what's the harm in that.
"Aah...yes. right there ngh.... yes...oh fuck that feels good."
The sound of König's footsteps were low that they couldn't hear over the sound of skin slapping against eachother. Watching a men fucking his girlfriend on his bed.
"Does your boyfriend fuck you like this?" Slaming her ass back and forth on his cock.
"Ah....a-aah....he-..he could barley...make me- fuck!..mmgh....wet." She grip the bedsheets hard while he kept pounding her.
No. No. He can't. Not you. He can't. He can't betray you like they did. He can't imagine the face you'll make if you know he fucked another girl. No he should be pure to you. You should be the only one he touches.
He needs you. Okay, it's done. He'll make you his and you'll love him. You'll love him and care for him. Rather you like him or not it's done.
You wrapped the cuff around his bicep and squeeze the bulb reading the numbers on the circle, writing it down. Doing the usual things you have studied for. As you were checking his heartbeat, he reached up which caused you to flinch a bit. His index finger, gently, caressing your cheek. Your back was turned to the guards, making it hard them to see what's going. You stared at him as he touched you with such charisma. His thumb reaching to your chin, hovering over your lips. He placed the tip of his thumb on your bottom lip, gently pulling it out a bit.
You shouldn't have this feeling at the pit of your stomach. You couldn't tell of you didn't smack his hand away because you are scared or because you enjoy it. You never had this much attention, not like this.
"I don't have time to argue with you (Y/n)! Go to your room!" The little girl tuged at her moms shirt.
"Where's daddy?" She felt tears running down her face as her mother poured more wine into her glass, already finishing up the fresh new bottle.
"(Y/n)! Seriously go to room! You are such a headache! Why couldn't your father take you with him! Nauseating!" She dranked the entire glass, slamming the cup on the table.
"Where's daddy?" She said one last time not letting go of her blanket. The same blanket her father got her when she told him she was cold.
"HE LEFT! HE LEFT US (Y/N)! LEFT US FOR THAT BITCH! AND NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH YOU. HE RUINED MY LIFE. I COULD'VE DONE SOOOO MANY THINGS! But no! I'm stuck to take care of a brat!"
He palmed your cheek, feeling your warmth. He went in closer to you. You could feel his hot breath, quicken as he got closer to your lips.
You pulled back, "I shouldn't- we shouldn't. I mean." You whispered to him.
"Mein liebling (my darling)." He whispered to you. The first time he spoke to you. You couldn't understand him, but he spoke to you. "Du bist mein (you are mine)." He pulled you closer to him, he didn't care if the guards were staring, if anything, he enjoys it. To show everyone that he is yours to touch. "Mein schatz (my sweetheart)," his lips were hovering yours, you felt a little tingle at how close he was.
You know this shouldn't happen. You turned your away from his. You walked back, feeling his grasp letting go. He stared at you witch a smile on his face. You saw the smile he gave you.
When your shift ended and went back to your apartment, the thoughts of what happened lingered into your mind.
That night, you couldn't sleep. He was in your dreams. What if you never pulled way. Were you really going to kiss him. You glazed over the parts where he touched you.
You searched the words he said to you to translate it. Sweetheart, darling, mine.
You felt the butterflies in your stomach again. You never felt so complicated before.
Having a crush on a patient.
You have a crush on König.
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peachy-wolfhard · 8 months
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Dating Leo II
a/n: I wanted to add more after I posted part one so here it is Bone Apple Teeth, I love leo sm so its LONG
Let me know if you would like to be on my tmnt taglist!
Warnings: swearing, grandchildren mention (splinter is gonna splinter), illness mention, insomnia, mentions of slapping leos bald head
Word count: 738 -woof
Insomnia gang
This turtle physically cannot sleep
When you don't spend the night he is CONSTANTLY texting you everything that comes to mind
“y/n…why is pizza a circle?” “idk lee can i come over :3” “yeth pls HURRY IM DYING HERE WITHOUT U”
Lying in his bed, cuddling, matching eyemasks ON, fan ON
Even with all of that, nothing works
The nights that the both of you are actually able to sleep he has a grasp on you
Holds you so close to him all the time, you guys are joined at the hip
Everyone besides Mikey and Splinter thinks you guys are gross
“You can't even say their names apart now it's ALWAYS Leo and y/n. You can't separate them they will DIE without each other”
“Calm down Mikey please you're scaring Shelldon”
Splinter is…well Splinter. He stays in your guys' relationship, with how dramatic you guys are he doesn't need his soaps
He loves to show you baby pictures of the boys esp the ones of Leo
((cough cough he definitely mentions grandchildren like the old man he is))
Bites all the time like anytime anywhere
Making breakfast peacefully listening to music- CHOMP
Getting ready for work- CHOMP
Dr. Delicate Touch has to intervene
Play fights with you in slow-motion
(slow motion voice) “yyy/nnn iiiimm goooinggg tooo kick your aaaasssss”
(also slow motion voice) “im gooonnnaaa kick yours firrrst”
HAND! HOLDING!
Initially, it started as a way to keep Leo from running off when exploring places, but then it turned into a regular thing
“My love, light of my life, future spouse eHEM!”
“What Leo”
“WHERE’S YOUR HAND I AM GOING TO DIE WITHOUT YOUR HAND IN MINE!! I ALREADY FEEL WEAK PLEASE I AM SUFFERING”
Absolute drama queen and don't get me started when he’s sick
Picture those old paintings of the sick children in bed, he’s that but dialed up to eleven
All he wants is cuddles and daytime television and don't you DARE come in between him and his Maury
Giving him medicine is surprisingly easy maybe it’s because he’s so out of it or maybe he’s just in love he’d let you do anything to him
But if you’re ever sick he does the exact same for you
If you fight medicine (just like me fr) he’s NOT afraid to use those ninja moves to get you to take your meds
Loves it when you read to him no matter what you are reading
Manga? Sign him up! Horror book? Let's get spooky! Sad book? I'll get the tissues! He just loves to hear your voice especially if you do different voices for the characters but not overly comedic voices, he’s here for the story!
Falls asleep listening to your voice with his head on your lap 99% of the time
Going to the Hidden City for date nights and getting up to absolute mischief
(having to then call Raph to come get you guys because you pissed someone off and just kicked their butt)
Speaking of the Hidden City! During their break in the Hidden City (when everyone gets arrested) you join Leo at the spa
After he gets kicked out he BEGS you to go to the creepy spa across the street with him
“Sorry sweetheart I too am in DIRE need of some relaxation plus it’s not often I’m in an exclusive club”
The moment he shows up with that gorgeous hair you’re suspicious
Texts you a selfie of his new hair with the creepy ass background
“Whatcha think? Even more handsome than normal? ;)” “go back to being bald i miss slapping ur bald head :(“
Anyway when he starts “sleepwalking” your immediate reaction is “Maybe it's the wig” but quickly forget all about it due to relaxation
“Um… yyyy/nnnn could you please help me out with one teeny tiny situation…? Please?”
Now you and Leo are on the case!
“Ooo lala finally some privacy ;)”
“Don't touch me until you’re bald AND we figure this out”
“Pwetty pwease? JUST ONE!”
“Fine, ONE kiss”
After the evil hair reveal and fighting with your boyfriend’s hair he's finally bald again
Leo explains the massage guy’s deal but it falls on deaf ears
“Hey, who’s that guy?” “He'sthe non-member we kicked out earlier!”
“I bet he and that human are the thieves. Call the cops”
After a quick stay in jail, you’re now peacefully back home
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AITA for mocking my math teacher?
a few months ago my school got a new math teacher. this would be fine, if not for the fact that one of the first things she did was ask me (14M) if something was going on at home. along with this, i wad also severely depressed.
not only that, she had told multiple kids that ADHD is not real/that its a myth. my friend (14F, we'll call her c) and i both have adhd, along with many other kids in our class. she just very clearly does not know how to teach neurodivergent kids and it pisses me off every day.
i also had a conversation with her that was like
her: youve been slacking... somethings been off these last few weeks...
me: yeah i did stop taking my adhd meds recently
her: nonono it was a few weeks ago
me: yeah i stopped taking them. a few weeks ago.
her: why?:(
me: well they stopped me from eating so
and she just. walked away😭
so today c and i were sat next to eachother, and c goes to get help with a problem we were both struggling on. c comes back and sits down without a word. a few minutes later, i notice the teacher is basically yelling across the room at c and gaslighting her. telling her that she hadnt said anything about the problem being wrong, blah blah blah.
so a bit later into the class, this teacher comes over to our desk to help me, and says something along the lines of "you guys were talking earlier, you need to focus more ill move you so you can focus better if you dont stop talking" ect ect. c speaks up and says "well its hard for me to focus anywhere" and the teacher just. denies her?? so i say "well we have attention deficit hyperactive disorder so its not really something we can control" and she just kind of. disagrees?? it was weird idk anyways she starts walking away and im mocking her in a low voice which i understand wasnt a great choice but also. she was being a bitch. so she turns around and says "see me after class you two..." like damn okay.
c is also an overachiever so she often goes in for help and a few times shes just been denied help and like ??? you literally offered her help why are you now taking this back
this teacher has also given us a test on the ladt day of the quarter on something that we had been learning for maybe a week or so and it was worth 100 points (tests = 90% of our grade, hw = 10%)
i understand that mocking isnt a great thing to do but this woman has hated me from day one so aita
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strwyofthesun · 11 months
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forgive me, goodbye [pt. 2]
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pairing: re2r!leon kennedy x intern!reader
synopsis: after settling into the uk, you learn of the raccoon city incident and suffer a great loss. after graduating from med school and starting up your internship, you meet someone who you thought you've left in the past.
word count: 3.7k
cont: smut, unprotected sex, p in v, mentions of death, mentions of blood, hurt/comfort, there's so much stuff goin on idk anymore
a/n: i did not expect to write a part 2 of this but my best friend bitched about not liking the ending so i did this out of spite <3 also! this takes place after the re2 events and before operation javier. i did alot of research on the re timeline and other medical related things mentioned T_T last, leon looks so cute in the pic i choose that bc his outfit there is similar to his operation javier fit
part one here !
A week has gone by since you’ve moved in the UK and you had been feeling homesick. Even though you had settled into your dorm, made new friends, and gotten acquainted, nothing beats the company of family. Not only have you been missing family, but also Leon. Feeling distressed, you decided to call your family to see how they’re doing.
You go through your contacts and scroll down to find your Mom’s contact. You spotted her name and pressed dial. The phone lets out a ring that lasted for only a couple seconds as your mom had picked up the call.
“Hey mom… Is dad with you?”
“Hey honey! Yes, he’s over here!” Your mom called for your dad and you hear his voice in the background shouting back to wait for him. You let out a laugh hearing your parents shuffle around. “What’s up hun? How’s everything going there?” Your dad asked.
“Everything’s fine dad, I’m just a little homesick…”
“Aww, hun… We miss you dearly too… You’ve grown up into such a fine, successful, smart, and independent young lady. We couldn’t be any more proud of you. Call us anytime, we promise we’ll always answer the call at the first ring.” Your mom said.
“Hey mom…?”
“Yes?”
You gulped down the lump you felt in your throat, “How’s Leon doing?”
“Oh… I heard he’s out of town.”
“…Is that so?”
“You know who I miss?” Your dad suddenly chimed in.
“Who dad?” You asked curiously while smiling.
“You and Leon. You remind me of you and your mom back in the day.” Your smile dropped hearing those words from your dad. It made you miss him even more and your parents could tell by the silence on your end of the line.
Your mom nudged your dad and scolded him, “Hun! Come on! She’s trying to move on, don’t make it any harder for our baby.”
“I’m fine mom, really. I just wanted to know…”
“Well, alright… If you say so.”
“I’ll be going now, I have a class in a bit.”
“Okay, call us if you need anything!” Your dad reminded again.
“I will, I will. Love you guys…”
“We love you too hun.” They said in union and dropped the call. It was nice hearing their voices again. You opened a box filled with pictures, looking for ones of you guys together when you were suddenly greeted with tons of pictures of you and Leon together on top of the pile. A certain picture caught your eye and you grabbed it to take a closer look. It was a picture of the night you, Leon, and your parents celebrated your graduation from pre-med. Tears fill your eyes and drops of it landed on the picture, slightly damaging the ink. You try desperately to remove your tears stains from the picture but ended up smudging the photo and getting the ink over your parents’ faces. You threw the picture back in the box and curled up at the foot of your bed and sobbed silently.
You didn’t regret your choice of pursuing your dream of becoming a virologist but God, did you really have to go through this just to reach it? You tried controlling your heaving and sniffled as an attempt to quit crying because you had a class in a few minutes. You stood up and walked yourself to the bathroom to wash yourself up. Looking into the mirror, you realized that you’re already here and it’s too late to quit now. You’ve sacrificed so much of your time, effort, and relations for this. Quitting isn’t an option.
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Days passed by and you drowned yourself in your studies. You were currently one of the best in your class and according to your professors, you had the most promising potential. Meanwhile, Leon was out of town just as your mom said and was wasting away in God knows where. All he wanted to do was get away from that town and escape the memories it held. He drank his sorrows away but no bottle of alcohol could ever fill the void in his heart. It’s as if you took a piece of his heart and left with it and there was no chance of ever getting it back.
During one late night, he received a call from his co- officer telling him not to go back to Raccoon City even though there was a current crisis, but Leon didn’t listen. He sobered up and immediately headed back to Raccoon City. The following events that unfolded are to be summed up and named “Raccoon City Destruction Incident” from then on.
While studying in a café with your earphones on, you realized that it’s been awhile since you’ve called your parents. You ring them up but they don't picked up.
“Weird, they usually answer at the first ring…” You mumbled to yourself. You try again and to no avail. “Again.” you said but call after call they didn’t pick up. Now you were really worried. Out of frustration, you take your earphones off and take a sip of your coffee when you start picking up on the sounds of the café. But what caught your attention made you drop the coffee cup in your hands.
“The US government declared Raccoon City 'beyond saving' from its residents that have turned aggressive and zombie-like. They ordered a missile strike to wipe out the city and later at dawn, it is reported that two non-nuclear missiles hit the city, clearing all of its 100,000 citizens, and completely wiping it off the map.“
Ringing filled your ears and your hands trembled at the news you had just heard. “This can’t be happening…” you thought. A waiter walked up to you demanding you pay for the broken coffee cup but you couldn’t hear him well. His words sounded like it was being drowned out by water. Your body went on auto-pilot and you grab whatever amount of money you had on you and shoved it into the chest of the waiter. You grabbed your stuff and exit the café while calling for a taxi cab.
You rushed back to your dorm and packed your stuff immediately. Things weren’t properly processed in your mind and before you knew it you were on a flight back to the US. You took a cab to the outskirts of what’s left of Raccoon City before you were blocked by multiple hazard signs, barricades, and police tape. You tried to get passed it but police stopped you before you could even step past the barricade. You stare at the massive crater left by the missiles and what remained of your old home. Streams of tears run down your face and you couldn’t stop it. The police tried calming you down but it was useless. They couldn’t do anything except escort you back to the hotel you checked in.
Once you were at your hotel room, you drop to your knees and wailed. You couldn't fathom the intensity of all the feelings that you were experiencing all at once. Everyone you knew and loved were turned into those… monsters you saw on the news. They were killed, wiped out, with no trace left. Your friends, family, mom, dad, and Leon, all gone. You cried even harder now that things have finally started sinking in. You recall your last call with your parents, them saying how proud they were, and them saying they love you, it was agonizing. And Leon... Oh Leon… you left him alone and heartbroken in Raccoon City. You blamed yourself for their deaths. You imagined your parents worried sick for you because you haven’t called them in awhile as well as Leon who was probably grieving still over the breakup. The image of them worried and scared for their life, was all you could think about. Tears didn’t stop flowing and you’ve lost your voice from screaming. You asked yourself, was this punishment for leaving? Did you deserve to suffer this much?
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It's 2002 and four years have passed since. Not a single day went by where you didn’t think of your parents and Leon. You’ve let yourself grieve, gotten therapy, and took a break from med school for awhile. But in the end, you pushed through with it because you knew they would’ve wanted you to push through. You were a step closer to becoming a virologist and its something you’ve worked extra hard on this time. You promised yourself that once you finished everything, you’d dedicate the rest of your life studying the viruses that caused the Raccoon City Destruction Incident and find a vaccine for any virus that could turn people to what the Raccoon citizens became. But for now, you are currently taking up your one year internship.
It was a regular day at the hospital, nothing out of the ordinary. You examined patients, spent your time in the laboratories, and conduct medical procedures along with other doctors. Soon, the mundane day of yours came to an end, or so you thought. As you were about to clock out, a fellow intern called for you.
“Hey [Y/N]! Wait up!” They said as they grabbed onto your shoulder, puffing out heavy breaths.
“Hmm? What’s wrong?” You asked in concern seeing that it was most probably urgent based on the face your colleague made.
“There’s someone out there asking for a CBC.”
“Okay and? You do it. Can’t you see I’m about to leave? I’m about to be overtime.” You replied feeling annoyed from being interrupted as you were about to leave.
“C’mon, do me a favour will ya? I’ll do your stool examinations for a week. Pleaseeeee…” your colleague said while giving you puppy eyes. You cringed at the sight of them and finally gave in to their request.
You rolled your eyes and gave an empty threat. “Fine, I’ll do it. You better stick to your word or else.”
They nodded their head ecstatically and hugged you before they left. “Ugh…” you thought to yourself. If you had just declined, you would’ve been home by now doing anything as long as you weren’t here in the hospital. You grabbed a folder and headed to the counter whilst keeping your head down.
“Hello, good evening, I heard you came in for a CBC?” You greeted.
“Yes, how long do I have to wait for you [Y/N]?” A familiar voice asked. You stopped fiddling with the folder and furrowed your brows. Where have you heard this voice before? Then, it clicked. It couldn’t be…
You looked up at the person opposite to you and met a pair of piercing blue eyes you know you’ve seen before. The tall frame, muscular build, dirty blonde hair. You couldn’t believe it. It was like staring at a ghost. The blood drained from your face as you step back in horror, refusing to believe that the Leon Scott Kennedy was standing right infront of you, alive.
“Woah, hey, are you okay?” Leon asked as he held his hands out.
“Am I okay…? Okay?! I thought you died?!” You screamed which caught the attention of other hospital staff and patients. You look around and apologized and looked back at Leon. “Look, I’ll do your CBC. But you have explaining to do.”
“I know I do, I’m sorry [Y/N]…” Leon apologized and looked down, feeling ashamed from being away from you all these years and suddenly popping out of nowhere.
You scoff and led Leon to a room to extract a sample of his blood. He took off his jacket revealing his more muscular figure. He looked different now. His eyes were as captivating as ever, but it lost its shine. You didn’t want to pry now, but if he escaped the incident back at Raccoon City, he must’ve seen some fucked up shit. You grab the tourniquet and start to tie it around his arm.
“Tell me if it feels too tight.” You instructed Leon and he nodded in response. “Is this alright?” you ask to which he nodded again in response. You start feeling around his arm trying to locate a vein. Your touch sent shivers down Leon’s spine, painting him a shade of pink. You'd almost miss it if his long hair blocked his face. You chuckled at the sight of Leon, “I’m barely doing anything. Did you miss me that much?” you teased.
“You have no idea.” He replied smiling.
Once you’ve located the vein, you did the standard procedure and in a blink of an eye you had a sample of his blood. You took of the tourniquet off his arm and patched him up. He stood up from the seat and put his jacket back on. The silence was deafening, as an attempt to break the ice, you asked, “So… Why do you need the CBC?”
“Just an excuse to see you to be honest.”
You quickly turned to face him, “Are you crazy?” you spat.
“Borderline. It’d be nice to know if I’m healthy or not though.”
“You wasted my time and equipment Leon.” You said while crossing your arms.
“Okay, okay, I’m kidding. I need it to update my health information for the government.”
“Hmm, okay. Do you want the results now or tomorrow?”
“It can wait. Come on, let’s head out now. My treat.”
“Don’t rush me!”
You finish up whatever’s left to do and finally clock out. You and Leon left the hospital and walked up to the parking lot.
“Here, put this on.” He tossed you a helmet and wore his as he started his motorbike. You put on the helmet and sat behind him.
“Hold on tight ‘kay?” You barely held onto Leon, still feeling off. He sped up on the road which made you nervous. Leon felt that you weren’t holding on properly and suddenly stopped, making you jerk forward and wrap your arms around his torso. “I told you to hold on tight didn’t I?” He smirked at you and you rolled your eyes at him. “Won’t say I told you so.” He said his final warning and revved the bike.
The streets were almost empty which gave Leon the opportunity to drive faster. This made you hold onto him tighter and Leon smiled at this under his helmet. “Not a fan of thrill rides huh?” You could barely hear Leon over the sound of the wind going past you. “I swear to God Leon, if you speed u—“ Before you could even finish, he drove even faster. You had a strong grip on Leon at this point and you could hear his muffled laughing.
Sooner or later, you arrived at a hotel where Leon was staying for the meantime. He parked his motorbike and the two of you got off. You punched Leon hard on the arm you took the blood sample from.
“Ow! What the fuck?” he said laughing.
“I hate you.” You said to him with a straight face.
“Aw, cute. You know you could never hate me. Even from the grave.”
“Haha, very funny Leon.” You said sarcastically.
The both of you walked into the hotel and entered the restaurant inside it. You both sat down and ordered food. And while waiting, Leon finally tells you about what happened four years ago.
“I want the truth Leon.” You demanded.
“Okay, please, keep an open mind alright?” You nodded in response and Leon recounts the events of the Raccoon City incident. You listened to him intently. It was hard to imagine him go through all of that. You were feeling thankful though that he is still safe and sound now.
“My parents, Leon? Do you know what happened to them?” you asked desperately wanting an answer. He shook his head and said “I’m sorry, but I don’t know. I really am sorry I didn’t save them…” You muttered a small “Oh…” and reassured Leon that it was okay. “I just wish I called them a bit more often… I think they were worried about me even up until their death…” You say quietly.
“[Y/N]… You are their only daughter, of course they cared. I’m sure they’re glad to know that your strong, healthy, and most importantly, you're safe now.” Leon said while holding your hand. You felt a tear run down your face and Leon used his other hand to wipe it off. He kept his hand on your cheek and gently caressed it. “I’m so sorry for the way things ended Leon… I didn’t want to… But—“ you were cut off by Leon.
“It’s okay… I forgive you [Y/N].”
“But I don’t forgive myself! There wasn’t a single day where I didn’t long for your presence by my side. I wanted you near me again.”
“I felt the same way too....”
No other words were said. You looked into each other’s eyes and reignited a spark that you thought died a long time ago. The moment was short but it felt longer than that. Too bad it was actually cut short by the waiter that brought you your food. You grinned from ear to ear and Leon let out a laugh. The both of you enjoyed the fine dining and soon you escorted him to his room.
“I’ll… be off now…” you said awkwardly to Leon while he stood leaning on the door frame.
“Do you really have to leave? It’s late at night. Stay with me for the night. It’s not safe out there.”
“Leon…”
“For old times sake…” Leon pleaded. He moved closer to you, grabbing your waist and leaning into your ear. “…Please?” he whispered.
You look at Leon, heat running through your body. He was a burning candle, and you were a moth that just couldn’t resist. Your lips crashed onto his and he slammed the door shut behind you. The both of you make it to the bed and swiftly take off each other clothes and threw it to the bedroom floor. Leon sat upright, back on the bedframe, while you were on top of him. You grinded on him slowly making him groan.
“Fuck, you don’t know how much I’ve missed this.” Leon breathed.
“Tell me Leon… How much did you miss me?” You said as you run your hands through his hair, tugging at it. You teased him, running your wet cunt along his hard dick. Leon breathed even heavier, you could feel his dick twitch as it longed to be in you.
"I'd think of you, when I touch myself... I missed you touching me, making you screaming my name, being inside you. I missed it all. Please, let me fuck you..." Leon begged. You held yourself up and positioned his dick under you.
You and Leon both moaned when he entered you. It took some time for you to adjust to Leon again. "So tight... You haven't been fucking anyone else have you?" He asked. You shook your head and he started thrusting into you, catching you off guard. You moaned and whimpered from Leon suddenly fucking you.
"Come on baby, use your words." he demanded.
You tried to speak but your words were slurred. "O-only... you... Leon. I've only f-fucked you..."
"Mhm, that's right. You're mine, got that? And I'll make sure people know that." Leon sucked onto your neck leaving hickeys on it, marking what's his.
He quickened his pace leaving you a moaning mess. Sounds of skin slapping against each other echoing in the room. You moaned his name over and over again like a prayer. As you feel your climax coming, your walls tightening around Leon's dick. He moaned your name into your ear. "You feel so fucking good baby."
"Leon, I'm close..." You managed to get the words out of your mouth. "Cum for me baby." Leon said as his thrusts get sloppier and rougher. A scream escaped your lips as you came. Leon finished inside you making sure every bit of cum filled you to the brim.
Leon looked at you and cupped your cheek. "Why don't we make up for lost time?"
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The sunlight peaked through the gaps of the curtains and you find yourself in bed beside Leon as he sleeps peacefully. You admire Leon's beauty for a little while and brushed his hair to the side. His eyes flutter open and he greeted you in a raspy voice.
"Good morning love, did you sleep well?"
"Like a baby." You replied.
"Mhm, that's good. Come closer."
You move closer to Leon and lay on his chest. "There's something I didn't tell you last night." he said and you could hear his heart beat faster.
"Tell me..."
"I was recruited by the USSTRATCOM shortly after the incident at Raccoon City, and I'm a government agent now. These past 4 years, I've been training intensely. And in a few days, I'll be leaving for North America to my next mission."
You lay in silence, taking in the words Leon had just said.
"Say something please, [Y/N]..." Leon pleaded.
"Do you... want us to get back together, Leon? I want you to be realistic. If you're an agent, who goes on missions that you could possibly never return from, would you really want to be tied down to me?" You asked.
"I do want us back. God knows how much I want us back together. And I don't care about all that mission shit. I will return from every mission just for you."
"Are you sure Leon? Because this time, I'm willing to stay. I've lost you once, and I'm not making the same mistake again."
"I'm always sure when it comes to you. We'll make it work this time, I promise. I love you [Y/N]..."
"I love you too Leon." Those words coming out your mouth after years of longing for him gave you a feeling of euphoria and nostalgia all at once. Who knew that this time around, we'd fall right back into each other's arms.
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Yuu is Tired
So idk what this is but I just had an idea for a drabble yk?? A bit angst. Yuu snaps and is GN and is on meds and stuff. I'm get back to reqs afterwards so enjoy
This is also kinda backstory for one of Juatclems reqs I'm working on and potential mean Yuu lore??? Anyways @blushing-concubus since u liked RSA Yuu
The Housewardens along with their vices all sit in Crowley’s office for an annual meeting. By some miracle, Malleus was there, probably because Lilia dragged them, however. As everyone settled in, Crowley took his seat, ready to start the session. “Alright, everyone so today-“
A knock at the door interrupts all of them, “I’m here headmaster, coming in.” You opened the door and visibly stiffened in surprise at everyone there, before giving Kalim a friendly wave back. Your eyes locked with Malleus for a moment, surprised to see your friend here, but a voice snaps you out of your thoughts, “Mx. Yuu, what are you doing here?” Your small smile dropped to confusion. “Did you forget, Headmaster Crowley? You said today you were available to talk to me… You know… About my situation…”
Leona sighed, just wanting to get this meeting over with, he hated prolonging these boring discussions, even more since Malleus was here. Riddle also huffed, such poor planning is making everyone waste their time. Trey put a hand on Riddle's shoulder to calm him. Vil wore the smallest scowl, glancing at the papers in your hand. Crowley looked around at the members there before clearing his throat.
“Ah… Aahhh yes, I totally remember! It was about your way home, yes? Terribly sorry Mx.Yuu but we are having a meeting right now, can’t this wait later.” You paused. Don't get upset. Don't get mad. “Well… I am also a prefect. Maybe I can join in until the meeting ends?” “Yuu, I’m afraid your dorm doesn’t have any other students, this meeting is for actual housewardens.”
Your heart sank at that. Putting off everything yet again. “Well can I just ask you the one question I have? It’ll be quick I swear!” “Mx.Yuu. I am going to have to ask you to leave.” “Right…” You sounded dazed for a moment.
You’ve been trying to have this conversation with him for a full year now. A year has passed with no information regarding your situation. And there has been no support for you as a foreign student both mentally and academically. You've spent a year here in total darkness with no support. “Sorry but uh… I’m not leaving until we discuss this.” “Pardon?”
"I mean…” You refused to bite your tongue now. “It’s not like you would have considered anything they say anyways. You would just drop all your work on me again like you usually do after threatening my basic right to food.” Besides Ruggie choking back snort, the room went deathly silent. “Mx. Yuu…”
“No. None of that. If I dont bring this up now, it’ll never happen.” Your voice was stuttery and a bit wobbly. “I-I I mean- I’ve been trying to talk to you about my situation for a year now and just- every time it gets dismissed or something. I can’t even talk about my problems or get help with my stay here.” Azul and Jade perked up at this, cogs spinning in their mind to create the perfect contract.
“Like, for example, I am always laughed at or humiliated for asking basic questions. I’m new this this entire world and yet everyone expects me to know everything! People are always upset when I dont know of some obscure wizard from a few hundred years ago or old trends that were popular.” 
Crowley sighed, making your blood boil. Your voice sped up, used to being cut off. “It’s really impacting my grade and there's no support for students with similar problems.” Crowley interrupted, “It sounds like you just need to study harder.” You didn't hide your irritated expression. “I did! I have been! I’ve been trying my absolute best but I don’t have a phone and the library doesn’t have anything beginner friendly! I-I mean—``''There are plenty of books in the library and teachers to help, you have no excuses.” 
Your voice trembled, a year's worth of frustration building up, finally coming out. “Okay then, tell me who Nikola Tesla is! Explain to me what Thomas Edison did! If you don't know them surely you must know of Julius Caesar or Cleopatra right?! You see? It's not that easy! And no matter the explanation I give you, you would still need to know more about my world to fully understand anything! And not only that but Grims grades can impact mine? It's not fair!”
You were breathing heavily and you seemed panicked. Crowley tensed up, trying to diffuse the situation. Trey and Riddle both cringed, this wasn’t going to be good. “No, no. Listen to me. I know nothing of this world that I was dragged into! On top of that I have no basic necessities— I barely got my own toothbrush a month ago— and I dont have the medications I need to be mentally okay even though I’ve been requesting them for over a year now! I-I just! ... On top of all of this I need to worry about food and do your job for you. I-it’s just not fair. It’s all taken a toll on my mental health and I just want to go home.”
You locked your eyes with Crowley “Please for the sake of my mental health tell me you have found something. Anything. I need to go home. I need my medication! I can’t be here anymore, I can't take it- I'm scared. I'm scared to even be alone with myself now. I see no way out besides…” You choked back a sob. “Please. Please tell me something. Anything. I can't take it anymore. The stares. the judgement. It's so… suffocating...”
Everyone turned towards Crowley, giving him a few judgemental and wide-eyed stares. Crowley cleared his throat “Mx. Yuu… Finding you a way home is going to take a while. We still don't know what dimension you even—``''Bullshit!” You snapped, glaring at him.
“Bullshit! I had visions about coming here before I did and you were there. Hell, I've been having visions and hearing voices and seeing things since my time here. I don't know if I've officially lost it or what, but…” You paused, to take in a breath. “I mean- You think I managed to deal with all these blots by myself? Don’t get me started on how you expect me to somehow be okay with them after everything too, I have fucking scars on my body that no magic can fucking heal, and you expect me to act like everythings okay?” The housewardens and a certain Vice-Housewarden looked away, guilt building up inside when they watched you pull up a sleeve to show your damaged arm.
“Do you not hear how insane it sounds— And-and-and— you guys don't even have a therapist here to talk to! Fuck, it seems I’m the schools only therapist having to deal with everyones problems and of course no ones there for me because why would they be!” Your voice was getting louder. “I’ve been predicting everything so far! I've been the one having to just… deal with all of this, all while being hungry! It's not fair!” 
You gripped the sleeves of your oversized and dusty uniform. “And I know you have to know something from what I’ve seen. I've reached out to RSA!” Rook’s eyes lock with yours for a moment and you swear you see his expression seem sad for once in all the time you’ve known him. You feel everyones staring at you. Some angry, some guilty, some sympathetic. You can especially feel the shock, most notably from your horned friend along with the floating tablet now on mute.
“RSA, says they know shit about interdimensional magic. I've told them about my situation and they actually offered to take me in and help! Fucking Chenya even said they offer help for foreign students! I don’t know if your just that incompetent or just scheming Headmage, but I am not leaving until you sign these transfer papers. And you are just to transfer me, not Grim. I am still pissed that you dropped him on me and consider us half a student!” Your breaths steadied as you calm yourself.
“I am done, Crowley. I am leaving, and you are going to approve of it.” You stared into the yellow orbs that peaked from behind his mask. Your voice cracked. “Please.” You can't imagine how they would’ve reacted to you foreseeing the future long before you came here. Where NRC is in ruins and the housewardens had to fight a very familiar looking cat…
You don't care if they called you selfish. You e been selfless your entire time here and that got you nowhere. So maybe you have to be selfish...
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am-i-interrupting · 1 year
Note
please could you do something for arcane where reader comes home in a sling and is like "haha funny story" and it turns out they fractured their elbow? i fell off my bike at 8am yesterday morning and biked for idk how may miles and did farm work before going to the hospital roughly 7 hours later. turns out it wasn't a bad bruise like i thought lol. now im in a sling for 6 weeks and it was kinda sus that i was losing mobility in my arm throughout the day before i went to the hospital
Caitlyn
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She will go into protective mode immediately.
She is by your side as much as you’ll allow her, getting you everything you need and more.
She will buy you sweets and get you your favorite drink every day during your recovery.
Will be giving you a lot of face kisses when she gives you something or does something you can’t do at the moment.
If anyone gives you the pity look and starts treating you differently she is glaring at them with a stare so hard and cold they stop immediately. Don’t say anything just half, turn around, and walk away.
Ekko
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He will immediately check you over for any other bruising or cuts as soon as the news is broken.
He’s extra doting during your recovery, many kisses and cuddles, will fret over whether or not you’re actually comfortable laying with him.
He’s not the tallest individual so if he can’t get something for you, he is asking the other Firelights to get it for you.
On that topic, when he’s not around he has asked several of the Firelights to not smother you but stay near in case you need something.
Just super sweet and helpful during your recovery all around.
Jinx
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She is immediately asking who hurt you and when you reveal that it was your own clumsiness, she takes a breath and jokes about it.
She will try to act like it’s no big deal but always has you in the peripheral of her vision.
She’s not as good as she thinks she is at hiding her hovering habits during this time.
She is making and stealing you so many pretty things during this time just to see you smile.
She will also do your hair for you if it’s long enough to style and she is joining you in the bath to wash and brush it.
Silco
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When you explain what happened, he will act like he’s scolding you but in reality it’s simply a rouse to disguise his concern. It’s not easy at the best of times, much less when you’re injured.
He will be giving you the best medicine available for any pain.
He’s also making you teas that are supposed to help soothe pain as well. Where he got such high quality tea? He won’t tell you but it’s there.
It’s also like he can read your mind because if you even think of getting something it’s already on the table in front of you.
You’re also not going to work for the entirety of your recovery. It doesn’t matter if you work for him or someone else. If you work for someone else and they refuse to be accommodating, fine you’ve got a new job with Silco waiting for you when you’re better.
Viktor
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He is absolutely worried for you but understands how annoying it can be to have people try to do things for you because you’re in pain.
He will only get things for you if you ask and he is happy to do so.
He will massage your shoulder if it starts to hurt from the sling.
Is giving you alternative pain meds to try if the ones you have aren’t working.
He will also hold ice to your elbow so you don’t have to since it can be a pain.
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underground-secret · 8 months
Text
The Hunter and The Witch: Dean Winchester x Fem! reader
Description: A small town where dark secrets unfold isn’t anything new to these seasoned hunters, except when it has something to do with urban legends…apparently.
Warnings: cannon violence, mentions/talk of suicide, mentions of gruesome death, eye bleeding, Blood Mary (idk if this would be a warning but like 🤷🏼‍♀️), mentions of murder, witchy stuff
Tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolonsworld , @okayiamkassandra ,@fablesrose
A/N: I’m so sorry this took so long to get out again my AP class is really AP-ing and has taken up literally all my time. I spent four days working on a 20 pages packet that took forever meaning I had zero time for this. Again so so sorry.
Word count: 7,719
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Bloody Mary
(Masterlist, Previous Chapter, Next Chapter)
“Sam, wake up.” Dean nudges the man in question, the car in park.
Sam wakes, confused, he sits up and looks around. “I take it I was having a nightmare.”
“Yeah, another one.” Dean confirms, and I nod too a frown on my face.
“Hey, at least I got some sleep.” Sam offers
“Sam” I stretch out his name, “that cannot be your positive to this.”
“You know, sooner or later we're gonna have to talk about this.” Dean adds.
But Sam ignores us, avoids the whole conversation, “Are we here?”
Dean lets him avoid the whole ordeal and I have to wonder how long he will let his brother lie. Though I guess I'm no better. “Yup. Welcome to Toledo, Ohio.”
Sam picks up a newspaper that sat on the console of the car, the obituary of Steven Shoemaker circled.
‘The Shoemaker family is sad to announce the sudden death of their beloved husband and father Steven Shoemarker. Steven was 46. A short service will be held on Wednesday, [...] 31 at 2:00 p.m. at the Toledo [...] and cherish you [...] Your [...]’ The article read.
“So what do you think really happened to this guy?” Sam asks us.
“That's what we're gonna find out.” Dean answers, turning off the car. “Let's go.”
We exit the car, entering the large hospital building that stood in front of us walking up to the two desks that lie in the room. One of them is empty with a name tag that reads, ‘Dr. D. Feiklowicz.’ The other one however was occupied by a Morgue technician in blue scrubs, “Hey” the man greets us as we approach.
“Hey.” Dean answers back.
“Can I help you?” The technician asks, looking between the three of us.
“Yeah. We're the, uh...med students.” Dean lies.
“Sorry?” The man asks back.
“Oh, Doctor—“ Dean stammers over the name, “—Figlavitch didn't tell you? We talked to him on the phone. He, uh, we're from Ohio State. He's supposed to show us the Shoemarker corpse. It's for our paper.”
“Well, I'm sorry, he's at lunch.” The tech informs us.
“Oh well he said, uh—“ Dean sighs, “—oh, well, you know, it doesn't matter. You don't mind just showing us the body, do you?”
“Sorry, I can't. Doc will be back in an hour. You can wait for him if you want.” He tells us, gesturing to the seats on the side of the room.
“An hour? Ooh. We gotta be heading back to Columbus by then.” Dean looks at me and Sam as if queuing us to lie with him.
“Yeah.” Sam and I say at the same time, “Jinx” I mumble underneath my breath just loud enough for Sam to hear me who in return gives me a scrunched face.
“Uh, look, man, this paper's like half our grade, so if you don't mind helping us out—“ Dena explains getting cut off by the man in scrubs, “Uh, look, man...no.”
Dean laughs a little. He turns around to face us, mumbling, “I'm gonna hit him in his face I swear.”
But I mean we can’t really blame the guy he’s just doing his job.
Sam hits his brother on the arm, taking a step in front of him he opens his wallet and pulls out some twenties. He lays a few of them, at least five, down on the desk. The Morgue Tech picks up the money, “Follow me.”
The technician gets up and leaves. I go to follow, seeing in the corner of my eye Dean grabbing Sam when he too tries to follow, forcing me to stop and go back a step to see what they are on about.
“Dude, I earned that money.” Dean complains.
“You won it in a poker game.” Sam clarifies.
“Yeah.” Dean answers.
Sam rolls his eyes, pulling away from his brother to follow the technician.
“You’ll make it back” I say, patting Dean on the back shortly to go follow the morgue man.
Dean stays back a half a second before following after us.
“Now the newspaper said his daughter found him. She said his eyes were bleeding.” Sam said as the Morgue Tech pulled back the sheet over Steven’s face. Revealing a pale, long faced man with dark hair, blood stained on his cheeks below his eyes as if he had cried them.
“More than that. They practically liquefied.” The tech scuffs.
“Any sign of a struggle? Maybe somebody did it to him?” Dean asks him.
“Nope. Besides the daughter, he was all alone.” He answers.
“What's the official cause of death?” Sam questioned.
“Ah, Doc's not sure. He's thinking massive stroke, maybe an aneurysm? Something burst up in there, that's for sure.” He replied.
“You mean like cerebral bleeding?” I ask, wanting to clarify.
“Yeah. This guy had more blood in his skull than anyone I've ever seen.” He responded.
“The eyes & mash;what would cause something like that?” Sam asked.
“Capillaries can burst. See a lot of bloodshot eyes with stroke victims.” The technician explains.
“Yeah? You ever see exploding eyeballs?” Dean scuffs.
“That's a first for me, but hey, I'm not the doctor.” The tech shrugs.
“Hey, think we could take a look at that police report? You know for, uh...our paper.” Dean requests.
“I'm not really supposed to show you that.” He answers, stretching out ‘that.’
Sam sighs clearly annoyed, as he pulls out his wallet.
Now leaving the hospital, walking down the stairs Sam suggests, “Might not be one of ours. Might just be some freak medical thing.”
“How many times in Dad's long and varied career has it actually been a freak medical thing and not some sign of an awful supernatural death?” Dean points out.
“Uh, almost never.” Sam answers.
“Exactly.”
“Well then, let's go talk to the daughter.” I announce”
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We walk into Steven’s funeral, a picture of him on the desk.
All the men in the room are wearing black suits and the women adorned in black dresses, everyone except us. Dean points this very fact out, “Feel like we're underdressed.” I nod in agreement, my lips in a tight line, the guilt of interrupting these people’s mourning with not only us being undressed but also for not having a reasonable explanation of us being here.
But no one stops us as we keep walking through the house, all the way towards the back and outside to the backyard.
A man points us towards Donna and Lily Shoemarker, the daughters of the man we had seen on a metal table only moments before, who are standing near two people whom I can only assume is a friend or family member.
“You must be Donna, right?” Dean greets the eldest daughter as we approach the group of people.
“Yeah.” She answers sadly brushing her short brunette hair out of her face.
“Hi, uh—we're really sorry.” Sam says.
“Thank you.” She replies, and I know she must have heard that same phrase of ‘i’m sorry’ and must have answered the same ‘thank you’ over and over to each person here. As if the death of her father hadn’t broken what’s inside her enough.
“I'm Sam, this is Dean, and that’s Y/N. We worked with your dad.” He explains.
She looks at one of the adults near her and then back at us, “You did?” And I feel bad for lying to her about this to give her a connection to her father that had never existed.
“Yeah. This whole thing. I mean, a stroke.” Dean goes on.
“I don't think she really wants to talk about this right now” One of the men with her say, stepping in.
“It's okay. I'm okay.” Donna says, with a sharp nod.
“Were there any symptoms? Dizziness? Migraines?” Dean asks, listing out various options.
“No.” She says simply.
Lily, the youngest daughter, turns around, “That's because it wasn't a stroke.”
“Lily, don’t say that.” Donna snaps.
“What?” Sam asks.
“I'm sorry, she's just upset.” Donna explains.
“No, it happened because of me.” Lily speaks up.
“Sweetie, it didn't.” Donna tries to convince.
“Oh Lily”, I say sadly crouching down to be closer to her eye level, “What makes you think that?” I knew what it felt like to blame yourself for someone else’s death, especially your parents, especially when it happens twice and you're too young to understand why this would happen to you. I feel the eyes of the people around me bore into me, especially from the brothers behind me.
“Right before he died, I said it.” Lily answers.
“Said what?” I ask her.
“Bloody Mary, three times in the bathroom mirror.” She explains, pausing, “She took his eyes, that's what she does.” My eyes go wide, not exactly expecting that answer.
“That's not why Dad died. This isn't your fault.” Donna reasons.
“I think your sister's right, Lily. There's no way it could have been Bloody Mary. Your dad didn't say it, did he?” Dean offers, giving the kid some logic to combat what she believes.
“No, I don't think so.” Lily answers. But I know it will take her years to really believe it wasn’t her fault, if ever.
Saying ‘bye’ to the grief rickened family we head back inside the house, but instead of truly leaving we sneak upstairs, approaching the bathroom.
Sam pushes the door open, dried blood stained to the white tiled floor, “The Bloody Mary legend...Dad ever find any evidence that it was a real thing?”
“Not that I know of.” Dean answers, him and I trailing in after Sam who stoops to the floor touching the dried blood, “I mean, everywhere else all over the country, kids will play Bloody Mary, and as far as we know, nobody dies from it.”
I grimace, why would he touch the blood?
“Yeah, well, maybe everywhere it's just a story, but here it's actually happening.” Dean offers.
“The place where the legend began?” Sam asks and we both shrug, Dean opening the medicine cabinet.
“But according to the legend, the person who says B—“ Sam looks at the medicine cabinet mirror, it now facing him, he closes it before continuing, “The person who says you know what gets it. But here—“
“Mr.Shoemaker gets it instead” I finish his sentence.
“Right.”
“Never heard anything like that before. Still, the guy did die right in front of the mirror, and the daughter's right. The way the legend goes, you know who scratches your eyes out.” Dean adds.
“It's worth checking in to.” Sam concludes, as we leave the bathroom.
“What are you doing up here?” A blonde woman stops us, the same woman who was comforting the daughters outside.
“We—we, had to go to the bathroom.” Dean lies, poorly, because it makes perfect sense for three people to be using a private bathroom all at once.
“Who are you?” She asks us, naturally not accepting the poorly down lie.
“Like we said downstairs, we worked with Donna's dad.” Dean confirms.
“He was a day trader or something. He worked by himself.” She counters, and we should really start researching these people before we make up lies of how we know them.
Dean tries to cover, “No, I know, I meant—“
“And all those weird questions downstairs, what was that? So you tell me what's going on, or I start screaming.” She tells us, leaving no more room for any nonsense.
“All right, all right. We think something happened to Donna's dad.” Sam begins.
“Yeah, a stroke.” She answers.
“But it isn’t a typical sign of stroke, it might be something else.” I say softly, ashamed for suggesting such a thing to someone who has no knowledge of our world. These people are going through so much the last thing they need is some random people questioning what they know, I wouldn’t blame her if she did scream.
“Like what?” She scoffs, crossing her arms in front of her.
Sam explains this time probably sensing my unease with all this, “Honestly? We don't know yet. But we don't want it to happen to anyone else. That's the truth.”
Dean tilts his head, “So, if you're gonna scream, go right ahead.” My eyes widened, snapping to look at him, and suddenly that unease I felt vanished, replaced by a burning hot feeling that rushed through my veins and brought a flush to my face. I gulped, trying to push down the feeling a simple sentence that wasn’t even directed towards me made me feel. The cockiness it held as well as the allowance in his voice…it shouldn’t have affected me, and really shouldn’t have created a burning-longing in my gut.
“Who are you, cops?” The woman questions us, but my eyes haven’t left Dean as if he was light and I a moth.
I catch Sam and Dean looking at each other, speaking without words, in my peripheral vision. “Something like that” Dean answers.
It’s then that Dean must have felt my gaze on him, my lips slightly agape as I looked at him through my lashes. His attention turned to me as Sam continued the conversation that I had long blanked out of. Dean looked me over, eyes trailing over my very being, only worsening the burning I had felt within. His eyes met mine again giving me that devilish smirk of his, I swallowed again my eyes falling to his lips.
Sam clears his throat, nudging his brothers hard enough that he knocks into me slightly. Effectively catching our attention.
“Let’s go” He tells us, the woman still in front of us this time her attention to a small piece of white paper that I assume has some sort of contact information on it.
“All right, say Bloody Mary really is haunting this town. There's gonna be some sort of proof—Like a local woman who died nasty.” Dean begins as we walk into the oddly dark library, the stale smell of cleaning products surrounding us.
“Yeah but Blood Mary is a widespread legend with tons of versions of who she actually is, with no clear answer. There’s the mutilated bride, a spirit conjured to tell the future, a witch, and a whole lot more” I answer.
“All right so what are we supposed to be looking for?” Dean asks.
“Well in every version's got a few things in common. It's always a woman named Mary, and she always dies right in front of a mirror. So we've gotta search local newspapers—public records as far back as they go. See if we can find a Mary who fits the bill.” Sam adds, answering.
“Well that sounds annoying” Dean admits.
“No it won't be so bad, as long as we…” Sam trails off looking over to the table lined with computers all that say ‘Out of Order’, he chuckles “I take it back. This will be very annoying.”
We quickly turned around, heading back to the motel we were staying at to do our research there. Dean sat leaning with his head on his hand on the small table in the room on his brother's laptop. The younger brother in question had fallen asleep on one of the beds, the rustling of the sheets giving away the fact he was tossing and turning. I however sat crisscrossed on the other bed Deans to be specific, not like he cared anyways, researching on my laptop trying to find any relevant info on a Mary in this town or deaths relating to mirrors.
“Why'd you let me fall asleep?” Sam suddenly speaks up, voice evident with sleep.
“Cause I'm an awesome brother” Dean scoffs, he’d never admit it was really because Sam hadn’t been able to sleep or at least sleep long for the last couple of weeks.
“And what’s your excuse Y/N?” Sam questions me, leaning on his side with one arm propped up.
“You were sleepy!” I admit simply, smiling at him. He rolls his eyes, huffing a laugh.
“So what did you dream about?” Dean asks him, though what he was really asking was ‘did you have another nightmare?’
“Lollipops and candy canes.” He answers sarcastically. So sassy and for what?
“Yum” I reply, my eyes going back to my laptop.
“Did you find anything?” Sam asks us.
“Oh besides a whole new level of frustration?” Dean huffs, making Sam sit up, “No. We’ve looked at everything. A few local women, a Laura and a Catherine committed suicide in front of a mirror, and a giant mirror fell on a guy named Dave, but uh, no Mary.”
Sam falls back on the bed, the crisp sheets making a ‘whoosh’ noise beneath him, “Maybe we just haven't found it yet.”
“Thing is, there’s also been no strange deaths in the area, no other eyeball bleeding. Nothing. Which you know is good in hindsight but not quite helpful for us.” I explain.
Dean adds on, “Whatever's happening here, maybe it just ain't Mary.”
Almost as if on cue Sam’s phone rings, he answers, still laying down. “Hello?”
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Charlie, the blonde woman who questioned us before, sat on the park bench slightly hunched. I sat next to her to offer some comfort, while Dean sat on the back on the bench, his leg nearly brushing my back.
“And they found her on the bathroom floor. And her—her eyes. They were gone.” Charlie nearly sobbed, having explained everything that happened with her friend Jill.
Jill, who had wanted to tease the blonde women about believing in such a legend, saying the name in the mirror and winding up dead. Her death being in the same manner as Mr. Shoemaker.
“I'm sorry.” Sam answered, eyebrows scrunched together.
“And she said it. I heard her say it. But it couldn't be because of that. I'm insane, right?” She whimpered, using the back of her hands to clear the wetness from her cheeks.
“You aren’t insane” I tell her clearly.
“Oh God, that makes me feel so much worse.” She whines and I try to not let it hurt me, because she's griefing, even though it does.
“Look. We think something's happening here. Something that can't be explained” Sam explains. Dean adding, “And we're gonna stop it but we could use your help.”
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Dean lifts me up again, this time to reach an elevated first floor window rather than a fence. His hands sliding from tight around my hips, to brushing down my thighs as he lifts me in reach of the window sill. The window wasn’t that high to reach in the first place but with my height, amidtely being shorter than both the boys, it wasn’t exactly comfortable or super easy to reach the window and pull myself up and in.
My hands grasp the cold white window sill, my rings clinking against the surface as I pull my body up. I swiftly slide my hips sideways making my butt land on the sill, in the same sort of movements you would use when you lift yourself out of a pool.
I move my legs inside the carpeted room, ducking slightly as to not hit my head on the open window. The room belonged to Jill, and as my feet hit the soft gray carpet I officially feel the disgust of intrusion creep up on me.
I slide off the windowsill moving into the room more, Sam quickly taking my place near the window to pick up the duffle Dean threw up at him. He catches it, putting it on the bed and immediately digging through it.
“So what did you tell Jill’s mom?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, the uncomfortability of being in someone’s bedroom let alone a dead girls bedroom crawling up my skin and in my bones.
“Just that I needed some time alone with Jill's pictures and things.” Charlie answers looking between us and the door nervously. Dean climbs through the window shutting the curtain behind and Sam pulls something out of the bag. “I hate lying to her” Charlie adds.
“Trust us, this is for the greater good. Hit the lights” Dean orders.
She goes over to the lights, “”What are you guys looking for?
“We'll let you know as soon as we find it.” Dean hums.
Sam hands him a camcorder on and ready, the object he got from the duffel, “Hey, night vision.” He recalls prompting the older brother to do so, his face scrunched with focus as he finds the button.
“Perfect.” Sam smiles.
The little screen of the camcorder is facing Dean, in a ‘selfie’ like mode, “Do I look like Paris Hilton?” He smiles.
I laugh, slapping a hand to his upper arm on instinct, “Sure you do, baby” I joke, the pet name not something I ever use slipping from my tongue before I could realize. His head turns to give me an amused and smug smirk. In his distractment Sam takes the camera back, going over to the closet door filming around the mirror.
“So I don't get it. I mean...the first victim didn't summon Mary, and the second victim did. How's she choosing them?” Sam asks out loud.
“Beats me.” Dean answers, focusing back on the situation at hand. “I want to know why Jill said it in the first place.”
“It was just a joke.” Charlie reasons.
“Yeah well somebody's gonna say it again, it's just a matter of time.” Dean replies.
Sam wandered into the bathroom now, looking at the mirror there. “Hey!” He calls out, getting us to turn and look at him. “There's a black light in the trunk, right?”
Dean immediately went off to go get it coming back rather swiftly, just as Sam placed the mirror on Jill’s bed laying it upside down after having carried it from the bathroom. With the black light now in hand, he peels off the brown paper that’s on the back of the mirror, shining the purple light on its back revealing a handprint and the name ‘Gary Bryman.’
“Gary Bryman?” Charlie reads out loud both as an acknowledgment and also a question.
“Do you know who that is?” I ask her.
“No.” She answers simply.
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Back on the bench, in nearly the same positions, Sam recalls his findings. “So, Gary Bryman was an 8-year-old boy. Two years ago he was killed in a hit and run. The car was described as a black Toyota Camry. But nobody got the plates or saw the driver.”
“Oh my God.” Charlie gasps, horror in her eyes as she covers her mouth.
“What?” I ask the question we’re all thinking.
“Jill drove that car” She answers. Without looking for confirmation I know the boy's eyes are wide too, but there’s no room for the talking that comes after shock.
“We need to get back to your friend Donna’s house.
Somehow, with the help of Charlie, we convinced our way into Donna’s house back up to the bathroom we were in only hours before.
Hunched over the mirror with the black light, our suspicions were correct. There’s a handprint, one I have to say looks like the one in Jill’s bathroom, but I'm no criminologist. This time the name ‘Linda Shoemaker’ is written on it.
We all look at each other, knowing it’s likely that Steven killed his wife hence why Bloody Mary went for him and not the young girl who chanted her name. But the only way to have any idea of this theory is correct is to ask the brunette teenager downstairs.
“Why are you asking me this?” Donna asks us.
“I’m really sorry, Donna, but this is important.” I try to explain, but I know it won’t make sense to her. I mean we are total strangers asking her uncomfortable questions about her dead mother.
“Yeah. Linda's my mom okay? She overdosed on sleeping pills, it was an accident, and that's it.” She fumes, eyebrows scrunched together in fury, “I think you should leave.”
“Now Donna, just listen.” Dean reaches a hand up, as if to motion ‘calm down.’ But it doesn't work. Teary eyed and a little red in the face she yells, “Get out of my house!” Swiftly she runs up the stairs, not giving us another option.
“Oh my God. Do you really think her dad could've killed her mom?” Charlie asks, finally picking up on our theory.
“Maybe.” Sam shrugs.
“I think I should stick around” Charlie announces, referring to staying with Donna, which is probably a good idea.
“All right. Whatever you do, don't—“ Dean tries to warn getting cut off, “Believe me, I won't say it.”
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The crisp smell of old books and, oddly, cinnamon fill my nose as I take a deep breath, flexing my hand as I work out the cramping from writing a little too intensely in my small journal.
Dean sits next to me on the cold metal chairs in the library we decided to research in (different to the original one we were at), he’s typing away on the clunky computer the library has. Sam’s staring off at a bulletin board behind us with all sorts of things on it.
“Wait, wait, wait, you're doing a nationwide search?” He asks Dean, alerting us of him coming back to his seat on the other side of his brother.
“Yep. The NCIC, the FBI database—at this point any Mary who died in front of a mirror is good enough for me.” Dean answers.
“But if she's haunting the town, she should have died in the town.” Sam points out.
“I'm telling you there's nothing local, I've checked. So unless you got a better idea—“ Dean explains and as much as I love him I cut him off.
“Well, Mary’s victims have a pattern, which I know you guys already know so I'll just cut to the good part. Both victims had secrets relating to where people died and, here’s the good part, there’s a lot of folklore on mirrors, specifically that mirrors are a reflection of your soul. And with that your secrets and lies are revealed to the mirror.
Fun Fact! It was the Romans who believed that the soul would regenerate every seven years, so if you broke a mirror then you’d have to wait seven years until your soul was cleansed of the bad luck and misfortune.
And while I have more fun facts about mirrors I will end it there.” I smiled, satisfied with my information vomit as well as my fun fact because fun facts are wonderful.
Both boys look at me strangely, a mix of confusion and what I think is amazement (they should be amazed cause that was a really great fun fact). Dean seems to shake it off, “Right. So if you've got a secret, I mean like a really nasty one where someone died, then Mary sees it, and punishes you for it.”
Sam adding, “Whether you're the one that summoned her or not.”
“Correcto!” I answer, and by correct I mean that’s what I was thinking for our working theory.
“Then take a look at this.” Dean announces, clicking a few buttons on the computer before leaning over to the nearby printer, pulling out and handing us the paper. It’s a picture of a woman lying by a mirror in a puddle of blood. He prints out another picture, this time of a handprint and the letters “Tre.”
“Looks like the same handprint.” Sam points out and I nod in agreement.
“Her name was Mary Worthington—an unsolved murder in Fort Wayne, Indiana.”
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“I was on the job for 35 years-detective for most of that. Now everybody packs it in with a few loose ends, but the Mary Worthington murder—that one still gets me.” The detective states, unfortunately I immediately forgot his name. It's not the nicest thing to happen but I was also really focused on his country accent that’s just a little too funny.
“What exactly happened?” Dean asked, leaning forward in his chair, his elbows resting on his knees.
“You boys and girl said you were reporters?” Mr. Detective questioned.
“We know Mary was 19, lived by herself. We know she won a few local beauty contests, dreamt of getting out of Indiana, being an actress. And we know the night of March 29th someone broke into her apartment and murdered her, cut out her eyes with a knife.” Sam recalls the gruesome story.
“That's right.” He confirms.
“See sir, when we asked you what happened, we wanted to know what you think happened.” Sam clarifies for him, somewhere between a curious and condescending tone.
Mr. Detective eyes us over as if he’s contemplating something. He spins his wheely chair around swiftly getting up and going to a large file cabinet. “Technically I'm not supposed to have a copy of this” He huffs, pulling out a file and then a picture, the same picture Dean had already found on the computer. “Now see that there? T-R-E?” Detective reads out, even though unbeknownst to him it’s old news to us.
“Yeah” Dean answers.
“I think Mary was trying to spell out the name of her killer.” He theorizes.
“Do you know who it was, or any theories?” I ask, trying to get any sort of new answers.
“Not for sure. But there was a local man, a surgeon-Trevor Sampson.” He pulls out another photo, this time of this Trevor guy, he has an oval face with curly short hair definitely on the darker side but I can’t say exactly what color due to the black and white photo. He’s also wearing some sunglasses.
“And I think he cut her up good.” He finishes, his accent thick.
“Why do you think it’s him?” I question further.
“Her diary mentioned a man that she was seeing. She called him by his initial, ‘T’. Well, her last entry, she was gonna tell ‘T’'s wife about their affair.” He answers, and for a detective that truly means nothing.
“No offense but how does that directly correlate to Sampson… I mean there’s other people with the initial ‘T’ right?” I question him again, hoping it doesn't offend the man.
“It's hard to say, but the way her eyes were cut out...it was almost professional.” He explains.
“But you could never prove it?” Dean asks, chiming in.
“No. No prints, no witnesses. He was meticulous.” Mr. Detective nods.
“Is he still alive?” Dean follows up.
“Nope.” He sighs, sitting down. “If you ask me, Mary spent her last living moments trying to expose this guy's secret. But she never could.”
“Where's she buried?” Sam asks this time.
“She wasn't. She was cremated” He answers. No digging up bodies for us today.
“What about that mirror”, Dean nods towards the one in the photo, “It's not in some evidence lockup somewhere is it?”
“Ah, no. It was returned to Mary's family a long time ago.” He explains, leaning back in his chair.
“You have the names of her family by any chance?”
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We drive down the roads, the sun setting behind us. Sam’s call dictates where we go, either to whatever location he gives us or back to the motel.
“Oh really? Ah that's too bad Mr. Worthington. I would have paid a lot for that mirror. Okay, well maybe next time. All right, thanks.” Sam hangs up, pocketing his phone.
“So?” Dean asks.
“So that was Mary's brother. The mirror was in the family for years, until he sold it one week ago to a store called Estate Antiques. A store in Toledo.” Sam stated.
“So wherever the mirror goes, that's where Mary goes?” Dean raises.
“Her spirit's definitely tied up with it somehow.” Sam simply puts it.
“Isn't there an old superstition that says mirrors can capture spirits?” Dean asks.
“Yeah! People would cover up the mirror when someone died so that their spirit/ soul wouldn’t get trapped.” I explain, happy to spew some more of my fun facts.
“So Mary dies in front of a mirror, and it draws in her spirit” Dean works through the facts.
“Yes! But I don’t know how she’s working through various mirrors” I admit.
“I don't know either, but if the mirror is the source, I say we find it and smash it.” Dean proposes.
“Yeah, I don't know, maybe.” Sam gets cut off by his own phone, “ Hello.” A look of concern washes over his face, becoming pale “Charlie?”
The motel room is colder, the rain outside causing that meek fact. Charlie’s sitting on Sam’s bed, her head on her knees, after we picked her up from school all terrified. All the curtains are drawn shut, all the mirrors and reflective surfaces are covered with sheets or turned aquas towards a wall or the floor there will be no bloody mary getting in here.
Sam sits next to Charlie, “Hey, hey it's ok. Hey, you can open up your eyes Charlie. It's okay, all right?” She looks up reluctantly and slowly, “Now listen. You're gonna stay right here on this bed, and you're not gonna look at glass, or anything else that has a reflection, okay? And as long as you do that, she cannot get you.”
“But I can't keep that up forever. I'm gonna die, aren't I?” Her voice wobbled, fresh tears running down her cheeks.
“No. No. Not anytime soon.” Sam comforts, but I don’t think it helps.
Dean sits on the bed too, “All right Charlie. We need to know what happened.”
“We were in the bathroom. Donna said it.” She answers simply, rocking herself slightly.
“That's not what we're talking about. Something happened, didn't it? In your life...a secret...where someone got hurt. Can you tell us about it?” Dean pushes.
She looks around uncomfortably, swallowing she begins, “I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me too, you know?” She looks over at me for confirmation knowing without any previous conversation about it that I would understand. And she was right. It was as if bad boyfriends were sewed into the fabrics of being a woman, it would be a little strange if you hadn’t had one.
I nod and she continues, “And one night, at his house, we got in this fight. Then I broke up with him, and he got upset, and he said he needed me and he loved me, and he said "Charlie, if you walk out that door right now, I'm gonna kill myself." And you know what I said? I said "Go ahead." And I left. How could I say that? How could I leave him like that? I just...I didn't believe him, you know? I should have.” She cries harder, going back to her previous position.
I move towards her, Sam getting up to allow me to sit close to her. I hug her, holding her close despite her awkward position. “That’s not your fault” I told her simply, and I meant it too. She uncurls herself, quickly wrapping her arms around me and stuffing her face into my neck. I hold her tighter. “You did the right thing, leaving him” I mutter.
Dean huffs, gripping the steering wheel slightly tighter, “You were right back there Y/N, her boyfriend killing himself, that's not really Charlie's fault.”
“You guys should know as well as I do that spirits don't exactly see shades of gray. Charlie had a secret, someone died, that's good enough for Mary.” Sam reasons.
“I guess” Dean sighs.
“You know, I've been thinking. It might not be enough to just smash that mirror.” Sam suggests.
“Oh, what do you mean?” I ask with a tilt of my head.
“Well Mary's hard to pin down, right? I mean she moves around from mirror to mirror so who's to say that she's not just gonna keep hiding in them forever? So maybe we should try to pin her down, you know, summon her to her mirror and then smash it.” Sam explains.
“Well how do you know that's going to work?” Dean questions.
“I don't, not for sure.” Sam shrugs.
“Well who's gonna summon her?” Dean follows up.
“I will. She'll come after me.” Sam states as if it’s the most obvious answer and with no care for himself.
“You know what, that's it.” Dean nearly shouts, pulling the car over quickly and roughly making my body shift nearly knocking into the door.
“This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret that you killed her somehow? Sam, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night—it's gonna kill you.” Dean fumes, not quite yelling but also not quite talking.
“Now listen to me—It wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one that dragged you away from her in the first place.”
“I don't blame you.” Sam answers plainly, almost in defeat
“Well you shouldn't blame yourself, because there's nothing you could've done.” Dean adds.
“I could've warned her.” Sam sighs, and the pain in his voice makes me want to cry.
“Sam…you couldn’t have known that would happen.” I chime in, though it doesn't quite feel like my place.
“And besides, all of this isn't a secret, I mean we know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway.” Dean exclaims.
“No you don't.” Sam states, no further explanation given.
“I don't what?” Dean asks.
“You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything.” Sam shrugs.
“What are you talking about?” Dean questions, face full of confusion.
“Well it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?” He replied sassily.
Dean looks surprised, “No. I don't like it. It's not gonna happen, forget it.”
“Dean, that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many more people are gonna die after that? Now we're doing this. You've got to let me do this.” But Sam doesn't get any answers, with a roll of his eyes Dean drives off. Conversation over.
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Sam is trying to pick the lock on the shop's door, somehow without any word he became the designated lock picker. The dark oak door opens and all around the store are mirrors, mirrors of all shapes and sizes and varieties. Truly the worst place to be in this situation.
“Well...that's just great, '' Dean sighs, pulling out the photo of Mary’s corpse to look at the mirror, the one we’re looking for being a wooden frame. Not very helpful considering our location where there are countless mirrors that look exactly the same. “All right let's start looking.”
I nod in agreement handing both boys their crowbars. I shifted my baseball bat in my hand, there wasn’t a third crowbar and there was no reason for it anyways, a baseball bat is just as good at smashing.
We enter the dark store, flashlights on, splitting up we look for our specific mirror.
“Maybe they've already sold it.” Dean suggests, from some part of the store.
“I don't think so.” Sam says, stopping in his tracks. Dean and I walk over on either side of the taller man, Dean pulls out the picture again comparing the two. It’s our mirror.
“That's it.” Dean sighs, “You sure about this?”
Sam hands over his flashlight and sighs, “Bloody Mary. Bloody Mary.” He looks between the both of us, “Bloody Mary.”
A light shines through the store windows, illuminating the room.
“I'll go check that out. You guys stay here, be careful. Smash anything that moves.” Dean shuffles away.
I grip my bat tighter as a breath that isn’t mine nor Sam’s surrounds us. He turns around quickly but I keep my back towards him, “Nothing?” I ask and he hums in confirmation.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Mary in one of the mirrors, I step forward swinging my bat back and then forward hard. The glass shatters falling to the floor around my feet. Then Sam hits a mirror behind me, before swiftly turning back to her mirror.
“Come on. Come into this one.” He mutters underneath his breath.
He tilts his head watching his regeneration weirdly when suddenly he starts breathing heavily grabbing at his chest.
“Sam!” I shout, grabbing his arm. His eyes begin to bleed, blood trickling down his cheeks. He drops his crowbar, the metal clinking against the floor loudly.
“It's your fault. You killed her. You killed Jessica.” A voice rings out, one that sounds like Sam’s though I know it’s not him speaking. I help him to the floor carefully as he grabs his chest harder.
“You never told her the truth—who you really were. But it's more than that, isn't it?” The voice fumes.
I get up leaving Sam to the floor, “That’s enough of you” I mutter, gripping my baseball bat tight. I hit her mirror, the glass shatters around me.
I hear Sam take a deep breath in, when I look down at him he’s no longer holding his chest. He holds a thumb up to me, weakly.
But for some reason the voice didn’t stop, Mary was no longer hurting Sam but her accusations wouldn’t stop.
“Those nightmares you've been having of Jessica dying, screaming, burning—You had them for days before she died. Didn't you!?! You were so desperate to ignore them, to believe they were just dreams. How could you ignore them like that? How could you leave her alone to die!?! You dreamt it would happen!!!”
I smash three more mirrors, anything to get it to stop by it doesn't.
“SAM, SAMMY!” Dean shouts, rushing into the room and crouching down to his brother.
“It's Sam” He answers meekly.
Dean holds onto his brother's face gently, eyeing his face and the blood on it, “God, are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah.” Sam replies, a little unsure though considering the circumstances I get it.
“Come on, come on.” He pulls Sam up, bringing his arm around his neck with a nod of his head towards the door. I follow the boys towards the exit.
A sudden crunching noise forces us to turn around. Mary crawls out of the frame of her mirror, her long black hair covering her face, she walks over the broken glass with no care, her head tilting to the side as she crawls towards us. Her dark nearly black eyes bore into us, somehow she forces us to the floor.
My chest feels tight as if someone was squeezing my heart, I try to crawl backwards on my hands like a crab walk when a sharp pain surges through my hand followed by my eyes. I bring my hand in front of me, a large slash runs through my palm, a piece of glass sticking out of it. The ache in my eyes I know is not caused by glass but by Mary, I reach my gold hand up to my cheek blood trickling down my face. I suck in a breath, the pain not helping the already pain I was feeling. I look over to the boys on the left of me nearly on top of each other as blood runs down both their cheeks.
Mary stands approaching us with a head tilt and a limp. I grumble holding up a shaky hand, waving my hand once, slowly, making long mirrors form in a line in front of Mary acting as a wall between us.
“You killed them! All those people! You killed them!” A female voice cried out, Mary’s voice.
She looks at her reflections scared, when she begins to choke. She grabs on to her throat and her chest, crumbling down to the ground she shrieks, turning to a puddle of blood
With another wave of my hand the wall of mirrors shatters, glass falling to the floor loudly.
“Hey Y/N?”
“Yeah?” I hum feeling a little defeated.
“This has got to be like...what? 600 years of bad luck?” He asks me and I can’t help the big smile that falls on my face.
“Mmm I can’t wait” I laugh, the sarcastic comment coming to me with ease.
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The sun rises in front of us, gleaming on the Impala. Our faves are cleaned up, ridden of blood and the event that unfolded. The only proof of it happening being my hand that’s carefully wrapped in white gauze, the glass now out and the cut cleaned.
Charlie sits next to me in the back seat as we pull up to her house, it's odd having someone else back here with me.
“So this is really over?” She asks us, her eyes puffy from her night of crying.
Dean looks at her through the rearview mirror, nodding, “Yeah, it's over.”
“Thank you.” She says, Dean reaching back to shake her hand. She turns to me next, arms open in a hug. I close the gap between us and give her a good squeeze.
She smiles a little sadly at me, getting out of the car.
“Charlie?” Sam calls out, stopping the woman in her tracks. She turns around, “Your boyfriend's death...you really should try to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn't have stopped it. Sometimes bad things just happen.”
She smiles faintly, turning back around to go into her house.
Dean hits his brother's arm gently, “That's good advice.”
We drive off the car falling silent for a beat before Dean talks again, “Hey Sam?”
“Yeah?” He answers.
“Now that this is all over, I want you to tell me what that secret is.” Dean tells him, looking between him and the road.
“Look...you're my brother and I'd die for you, but there are some things I need to keep to myself.” He admits with a sigh, looking out the window.
The car falls silent again.
Healing isn’t easy. It's not something you can put a bandaid on and expect to be fine, and maybe all that Sam shared will be enough for now but that’s not something we can gauge.
That is times doing, and time isn’t something we can control.
God knows i’ve tried.
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snow--berry · 6 months
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Random CoD headcanons
Characters: Roach, Horangi and König
Roach
Mute, ever since he was a child. Knows BSL for obvious reasons and is very willing to teach.
He's still trying to teach Soap, but it's not very successful. (Inspired by hurrraaid's falconry AU and Soap struggling to learn BSL there)
May or may not be autistic, I haven't decided yet, but he probably is.
Squish his face! Squish his face!
He goes by he/him and they/them.
Definitely has freckles.
Roach and Ghost grew up together, I don't make the rules. So like 90% of the CoD fandom, I'll blatantly ignore the canon.
He's a chaotic gremlin. He hides in the vents and you can't do anything about it.
Will steal your food at lunch.
Especially if you shit talk him or people he cares for.
Roach has stolen Ghost's food for fun a couple of times and given it to Soap.
He insults you in BSL when you piss him off and you probably will not know unless you're Ghost or Price. Or Gaz maybe.
If you know BSL he'll probably tease you, because he knows most people won't understand. And because this man just loves chaos. Especially if he's the cause of it.
He's the type of person to draw on your face if you're asleep early during a sleep over.
Roach isn't as short as most people think.
Stares.
I don't think he'd be as interested in football as Price, for example, is.
He's hard to get rid of, just like a real roach. Whether's he's being super loyal or making your life hell depends on what you may, or may not, have done.
Horangi
He bites. You will never be able to change my mind on this.
He's also attempted to bite König through the mask couple of times.
Also not as short as people usually make him out to be. Still shorter than Ghost though.
New recruits are dared to put a tiger-ear headband on his head to test their bravery.
He grew accustomed to it and usually tries to ignore it.
Definitly has ADHD.
And is a nightmare to be around when he's out of his meds.
Horangi comes off as really impatient. Idk why.
He struggled with learning English.
Acts like a cat, will push stuff off of tables just because he can.
I know what I said about him not being short, but if he was he'd totally climb cupboards and shelves if he had to to reach things.
Sassy as hell for no reason.
His face looks very squishable to me. He'd probably try to bite if I tried but it'd be worth a shot.
I feel like he'd kinda hate K-Pop because of some/most of the stereotypes that come with it.
Probably should not be allowed to drive.
Total cat person.
König
He's insecure about his accent.
In addition to being (canonly) socially anxious, I think he has autism as well.
I feel like he'd go non-verbal when he's overwhelmed or having a sensory overload.
He likes making German and Austrian dishes.
He doesn't handle spice very well and almost died (at least that's what he claims) when eating Korean food once and now refuses to eat it when Horangi offers.
He gets a bit upset when people confuse Austrians for Germans, mush them together or similar. Even if it's a common thing.
König has an accent while speaking German as well, because Germans and Austrians (can) sound very different from eachother. Especially in slang and general vocabulary.
I headcanon him with blonde, shoulder-length hair.
And a scarred face.
He also has a squishable face. All three of them do.
König has freckles as well, but only in summer and only a few.
Probably has eye bags.
Also stares, but by accident.
I think König gets flustered easily, for some reason.
That's all for now! Have a nice day/night! :)
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wr1t3w1tm3 · 6 days
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The Outsiders a New Musical Cast Recording Reaction
Here you go @its-a-hare-pom-pom
Please note: I do not actually know the voices of who is who. I am having to assume who is who in some of the songs so I'm doing my best. I looked up a cast list for this. This is confusing and I'd need several more listens through to figure out who is and that's probably not gonna happen anytime soon (ya'll fill find out why in a later post).
Also, I curse a lot and there's a brief mention of suicide in my section on I could talk to you all night, so be warned.
Tulsa '67: Interesting how they changed Johnny's jumping to just a week before the events of the musical. I don't mind that change. I kinda like it? Maybe?
Okay. I need to rant a bit here. I grew up just a day's drive from Tulsa in a town not very dissimilar from it. Just switch East and West and you're halfway there. (Meaning in my city the East side was the old money and West was more of everyone else/the new money side of town).
Ponyboy's diatribe about how people get stuck in the town for life hits home for me because, like, of the nearly 300 person graduating class from my highschool, a vast majority of them went to school either in town or within the state. While I'm technically still in the state, I'm right across the river from our neighboring state so the line's a bit funky. I feel his longing to get the hell out. I feel the sort of resentment he feels towards Darry, who could've been a sports star had circumstances panned out differently. I feel his heartache for Soda when he mentions that his girlfriend up and left and broke his heart. My little sister and younger brother are both up-and-coming in similar ways to Darry (albeit a different sport for my sister) and Soda. The only real difference is that my family isn't just above the poverty line. In this economy maybe we're starting to slip down there, but if that's the only difference... shit. I'm in for a ride.
Moving on...
Grease got a Hold: I did watch the performance of this for Good Morning America or whatever it showed up on so this isn't my first time listening. This is the first time I can't tell who is who. I looked up the cast so I think the first singer is Dally? IDK. It's the whole gang except Johnny. This is when I discovered that Steve was in fact a named ensemble character.
Not my favorite song. But I'm sure that it introduces everyone well. I don't mind it, just def my least favorite of the ones I'd heard before.
Runs in the Family: I'm pretty sure it's a Darry song. Shit. I feel this song. I am literally Darry in this song, except I have parents, they're just not around a whole lot due to work.
I think I mentioned here that I work at a Nursing home. And especially during the winter if I worked twelves (luckily I'm PRN, so I can pick up shorter shifts) I'd be in before the sun and out after it. That is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt. You feel like you didn't do a damn thing but your so tired you can't do anything so you end up getting down and just scrolling while you eat and you barely have energy to grab something to eat. Had I not been still living at home I would have just gone through a drive through. You are a different kind of tired after a long day of taking people to the toilet and passing meds and working with memory care patients as they sundown.
So while I'm not a roofer, I'm not out every night working till midnight, I think I can relate to Darry the best out of the three here, being an eldest daughter an all especially. I like this song as a character set up, though I have to point out it sounds like he's whining but I also know I've done this so like... I can't complain if I wanna keep my whining privileges.
Great Expectations: This is the first song out, I'm sure we've all heard it. It's about Ponyboy relating to Pip, one of the characters in the book Great Expectations I think by Charles Dickens. I never read it in school I think due to Covid so...
That being said, great song. Still very much relate to him and his wanting to get the hell outta town but feeling trapped by family and obligations. Like I get the kid is only fourteen, and S.E. Hinton was about this age when she wrote this but it is raw and I still feel it.
Come on, we've all felt like everyone expects everything of us and have just wanted to get swept up in a fictional reality where shit is hard but we know everything will be just fine in the end, right? Right?
The line about Darry hits harder after Runs in the Family. His bit about Johnny has always hit me too, because I've always wondered (anxiously, of course) about what my life would've been like had I been born to different parents. And as much as I think about that, pretty sure I'm lucky to have what I have and I'll take it over worse.
Friday at the Drive-in: So there is also a drive in in my city, and I've been several times. I freakin' love it, and it's kind of sad that they're disappearing. This chapter/scene/song has always been a favorite of mine in all Outsiders media. I love Cherry's actress. She's able to do a more country/southern accent without it sounding like a characture. Kudos to her. I'm sure this song is really cool to see in person.
I Could Talk to You All Night: Confession time: I don't like Cherry. I understand that maybe she does have a rough life, but it has always rubbed me wrong the way she told Ponyboy it's "rough all over". Bitch, both his brothers work to keep their house you shut up. Like I went through highschool with my mom hurt, grandpa dying, Covid, a whole lotta other shit and some kid literal told me to off myself b/c I got in his space while practicing a tap number for the musical. Also, I was working through the entire school year. It wasn't terribly uncommon among my peers, but to be in the musical was a sacrifice on my part and we just... we couldn't see under each others skin. My school was on the west side and his family was new money, so I guess he and Cherry are alike in my eyes in that way (even had the same hair, lol). I didn't know what was going on with him and I guess when he broke up with his gf (she was a senior and he was a junior) he got better.
That being said, I really like Cherry's character in this song. They see each other beyond the labels for the first time in their lives. It sort of feels like a love song, but also not so much, and I really dig it. I may eat my words later but I like this version of Cherry. She comes off a lot less snooty than book/movie Cherry. Its so cute.
Runs in the Family (Reprise): Shit. Darry. Okay. The silent oldest sibling burden has fucking snapped. Bro. This is so good. Seeing what all was going on behind his outburst at Ponyboy. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'm even more in love with Darry's character. Shit. The oldest sibling being a parent when the parents aren't there. The younger siblings all leading into it. The abrupt stop that is Darry slapping Pony. I wanna scream IT IS SO FREAKINNG WELL DONEOAWE RUH!!!!!! I can practically hear Pony throwing open the screen door and Darry yelling back that he didn't mean it!I@ :OUhoihlacwijhr ;iuaweh' riu
Far Away From Tulsa: Oh, oh Pony. You're innocene it showing honey. This is the one thing I feel I've got on him is that I actually live on the edge of town, so I really live within a smattering farm fields and disappearing small farm towns. Those people will be judgey as hell, they will stalk you anyway possible to get info on you and there will be rumors. Like I love that you two have a dream, but we're getting into Of Mice and Men territory with Lenny and George (is that his name?) with the rabbit farm.
Also, are they changing Pony and Johnny's motivations? Obviously I'd have to watch this but this sounds like they might be changing their motivations a bit.
The transition into Great Expectations!!! The leitmotif!??! The key change?!?!?! HOLY FUCKING SHITHLIUWE RHF AIVCWH TLGIUAWEHCFIUHA. I'm screaming!!!!! But they're dream sounds like a cowboy western fantasy. And the ending where they talk about that not being in Tulsa... realy gives me pause. I think maybe their motivations changed just a bit? BUt IDK cause I'll never get to fuckin' watch this because I am but a poor midwesterner and Broadway is a bitch.
Run Run Brother: Shit. I love this. The little boys coming to Dally. The only one they can trust to know this. This is the loss of innocence in real time. The implication that he gave them all he had (the 50 bucks) is realized here. The song sounds so frantic. Aggggg. It's so good.
The background: if you're not born into money your born into despair? The background singers are great. Grease isn't given its something you earn??? Shit. Run through the fire your bound to get burned? They really like using fire as a symbol (for obvious reasons).
The transition into "You're a Greaser now and you ain't going back?" Like he literally cannot go back. Johnny killed a kid and Ponyboy would be tried as an accomplice probably. Cheezits this is so fucking good! The wrapping back to earlier songs is so freaking well done! The desperation in whoevers voice pointing out the sign to Windrixville? I love.
Justice for Tulsa: Did they come up with a new character? Are there others? Is this the Greasers talking to each other? Immediatly suspecting Dally? So they added the interrogation that he mentions he got brought into.
Is Cherry at Bob's funeral? Honey, he's an asshole. Like I get he could've been cool but gees. I'm torn up about her. They made her way more complicated. So far I'm glad for Dally and Cherry's sake that they added this scene.
Is this Darry or Soda? No. It's a Soc. Is it Randy? Oh I love his voice. Shit, is she grilling him? She's talking about Johnny. Randy. Are they getting onto her for talking with Pony. What she did wasn't wrong? Yeah, it's a senseless tragedy. If you pushed him into it.
So this is the explanation of how they started jumping Greasers and how that tension switched things up. This might be the Act break? But I'm not sure.
Death's at My Door: Is he talking about his parents dying?
Oof. I feel him. So in my life I had a series of deaths where my grandma died, then two years later my grandpa died (different sides of the family), then a kid at my college died going home for winter break. Then a girl from my highschool died going back to school after winter break. Then working at a nursing home every time, I come back someone else is dead. So, I feel that sentiment that it feels like death is following you. But that is just growing up, and I think this is Ponyboy finally sort of coming to that realization a bit.
Are they adding romantic elements to Pony and Johnny's relationships, or is this just really flirty platonic stuff? Because now I'm confused. And I'm someone who does really flirty platonic shit with my friends.
Throwing in the Towel: Oh it's a Darry song. Oh. Darry feels guilty. Shit. Okay. Is he making up with Soda? I'm a bit upset that Soda has been jipped in here. Long list of failures, same here Darry.
Oh. Soda. Soda, ever the middle child. Trying to keep the peace, trying to hype Darry up. Their being the brothers we always knew they would.
There little harmony part is so good!
Soda's Letter: I have heard this one as well. We are finally getting a Soda song!! But still, ever the middle child, trying to keep the peace between the oldest and the youngest. Dammit. I like that they added context to the letter, since it's a bit briefer in the book/movie.
The fade in of Pony singing over Soda is so good.
Hoods Turned Heroes: I love the name on this. I think this is Two-Bit singing this. Interesting that they skipped over the fire incident and Johnny talking to them at Dairy Queen. I like that it's Soda and Two-Bit in this song. I love them as a duo. And I love that we get a Greaser son in response to Justice for Tulsa.
Interesting how they changed it to 1st degree murder for Johnny's charge, because it was manslaughter and I seriously doubt there's enough evidence to even get second degree murder.
Hopeless War: Another Pony and Cherry song. I do like the musical duo of them so far. He's not wrong about the soc's declaring the war. Cherry's also not wrong, but girlfriend, your privelage is showing.
Shit, she got a point about black and white morality. "Same mistake a thousand times" "Doing what we've all been raised to do."
Shit. I like this version of Cherry. This sounds like a country love ballad and I am all here for it. Seems like act 2, like many musicals I've seen, has fewer/shorter songs.
Geez, Cherry. Okay. I still like the Cherry best out of all of them. But girl, you've gotta understand that this kids got more skin in the game than you do. Girl. IDK, this version of Cherry is just more nuanced and I think that's what she needed.
Trouble: The way Hopeless War tansitions into this song is so fucking good!!!!
So I don't know if this is at the park or the Gang going to the park but holy shit. I love this. Is Darry trying to keep Pony out? Or is Dally? Who is telling him not to fight? Didn't book Darry let him fight??!
Little Brother: I have heard this one before as well. It's a Dally song, and it still makes me awe;u hgseruig. This is my favorite version of the Dally and Johnny relationship because it solidifies the brotherhood and the way that Dally see's Johnny. It's done fairly well in the book but the musical makes it much more clear. Even the movie does it pretty well but I like that it's a bit more spelled out here.
I think I've heard all of these last three songs so they'll maybe be a bit more in depth. Also, I am gonna say this now Grease got a Hold is growing on me as I type.
I don't really like how Johnny feels very shoe horned to the side in this version of events.
Is... is someone singing with him on the second little brother in the first chorus? Could that be Darry or am I just trippin'?
I love the way that they show Dally's descent. Oh. There's a chorus on here with him. They put a different version out on YouTube with just Dally on it. Holy shit. Holy shit!!!! I love his voice so much. When are the lyrics gonna be up I gotta see who sings what in here damn it!!!
Dally. Shit. The part where the music strips and then starts building. This will never not give me shivers. I love the orchestration on this version!
The now into no!!!!! ;jfh;ajwerhf;ija uvaiwrhf;aiu3wh I AM NOT OKAY!!!
Stay Gold: This hurts like a son of a bitch still. I can't really put my words on here, but it really is written like someone who knows they're gonna die and they're wanting to give their family a final message. Which is something you can do on hospice nowadays, but wouldn't have been avaliable in the 60's.
Can't believe we had to wait the whole musical for a Johnny solo song. But I love the touch that a man came to thank Johnny for saving the kids, because in the book that's not mentioned and neither in the movie and I like that touch. They added just a few scenes and all were very well done if not honestly needed.
The fading of Ponyboy reading it with Johnny will never not get me. They use this technique so well throughout the musical. But again with me questioning if this is platonic flirty friend shit or Johnny and Pony being romantically involved somehow? I lean towards platonic flirty friends due to the time period and the fact that they're both on the younger side... but geez.
Johnny telling Pony to tell Dally, when we know Dally is dead and Dally asked him to save a seat and just owehtouwaehrt;ouiawe I am not okay. Will never not hurt.
Finale (Tulsa '67): Is this an older Pony on the first line? Does he get out? Or is that his teacher reading it? Like the acknowledgement of Paul Newman.
Oh. This is so sweet, him turning to the hometown heroes, the little everyday ones.
He got out!!!!!! Him talking about Darry and Soda!!
Ah! They took the one paragraph directly out of the book!!!
Dally!!! Wearing grease for their disguise? Holy shit. Bro. You are killing it! Killing it! The chorus entering!!?!?! The excerpts directly from the book!
"He was just to damn good for growing old? And for his memory I'll stay gold!?!?!??!" Holy shit okay. Emotional damage dealt. You didn't have to do that.
I love me a legacy explaning final number. Shit. I love this. Beautiful ending. I love the jazzy bits.
My phone immediatly jumped me to Non-Stop by Hamilton. Fuck you spotify, didn't need that now.
Final Thoughs: Unfortunately, this is not like Hamilton in the sense that the entire freaking musical minus one song that not terribly necessary for context is on spotify. There are chunks of context missing that make me wonder how else they may have changed the story. If you're someone who's first exposure to the outsiders is this, you're gonna be left with a lot of questions. Luckily, you've got a book and two versions of a Francis Ford Coppala movie, but if this was a stand alone I think I'd be leaving the cast recording fairly confused.
I think it's amazing. I did find out while finding a cast list to compare to the featured artists that Steve is still a character. I also wonder if they're gonna release the track they use for the rumble, since I think that's a seperate track with no real singing? IDK man. I wanna see that so fucking bad.
A little mad about how they downgraded Soda and Two-Bit. I know Two-Bit was more of a minor character but it really felt like Soda got the short end of the stick here. Same with Steve, though he already had the short end so it was only a matter of time. Two-Bit makes sense despite my love of him so I kind of expected that.
Overall, I do like this, but it feels a bit incomplete as I believe some of the most critical plot details have been left for portions of the musical that are acted or spoken, which sucks for us broke ass plebs who don't live within driving distance of Broadway.
So long friends.
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runawaymun · 22 days
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small good news update! Medication mention CW
Just finished my visit with the new psychiatrist and he is so understanding and I'm so relieved. I was really expecting to have to advocate harder and for it to be exhausting but it just...wasn't? And the ADHD somehow finally made it onto my chart. IDK who put it there but it was there somehow prior to the psychiatry visit. And he figured that there had been a lot of mistakes on my chart regarding psychiatric care (especially with the ADHD because while I do have the adderall it's one tablet of the quick release, when normally you'd be prescribed two -- one in the morning and one in the afternoon) so he swapped me over to the XR, which rather than wearing off around 1-2pm, should last me until 6-7pm. Which is just........AHHHHHHH.
And he is having a social worker call me to put me on board with an in-network community psychiatrist for long term care, rather than turning me back over to my PCP -- which is just....it means more stable care.
I'm just so fucking relieved. He was so understanding and sympathetic and like, once I explained how well my meds worked for me he was like "awesome, then that's what we're doing" like??? AHHHHHH.
Things are just finally falling into place. I was so worried about possibly being denied my Adderall and the ADHD not making it onto the chart and feeling like I was really at the whim of whatever psychiatrist whether or not they decided I need a formal evaluation or anything, and all the hoops I might have to jump through, and now things are okay...like I really genuinely can start thinking about steady work again because there's no longer a worry that I possibly might lose my medication in the future.
There's still, obviously, the shortage issue. But that's minor compared to the possibility of being denied the meds at a psychiatric care level. This is just so much more manageable now.
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cawdra · 4 months
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Good question, @avvielalame-blog
GATHER 'ROUND, FOR I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT MY WEIRD HOSPITAL OPIOID TRIP THAT MADE ME HALLUCINATE NEW GOOD OMENS EPISODES:
Last year I went to the hospital. It was some cyst (idk the medical lingo), and it was painful af. They gave me some sort of strong opioid (again, no idea what the medical lingo is, but I think it was Buprensomethingsomething). Mind you, I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but I hadn't taken them for almost a week, cuz I couldn't get out of my bed the whole time (before I eventually went to the hospital). I told them I was off that medication, and because the prescription is pretty old, they gave me the painkillers. TURNS OUT THE FUCKING MEDS WERE NOT OUT OF MY SYSTEM YET!!! So uhhh... yeah.
(If you don't know, mixing these two things can be very dangerous because they can raise dopamine levels too high or something, which is INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS!!! I'm a pretty large person, so this didn't hit me that hard (and also I was off the meds for longer than 24 hours), but if I was slightly less of a fatass and more of a responsible medicine taker, I might have actually been comatosed.)
Anyway, I was riding high that night. I didn't have anything else to do, so after seeing a good omens edit, my first thought was, "That seems gay. I'm in." So I turned on Prime and watched it all in one night. It's not like I was going to sleep in a ward full of screaming people anyway, so might as well make the most of it. The nurses told me to sleep, but I told them I wasn't sleepy, so they just gave me my antibiotics and, whatever else, took my temp and walked out. Did they care about the gay shit I was watching on my phone? No, they've seen worse.
Anyway, I watched the show, ugly cried for like an hour (harder than I did from the cyst that was torturing me for about a week), and then went to sleep at around 2 pm. When I woke up, I, as a responsible queer, decided to rant about it to my friends. After telling them all those things, one of my friends (who actually watched the show with his sister) said, "Are you sure the anesthesia didn't scramble your brain, cuz none of that happened lol."
When I tell you I was DEVISTATED!!! Literally a "You... you serious?" moment. Cried almost as much as I did at the ending.
Also, if you want to know: I had a dream about how the Ineffable Husbands teamed up with some nun (who was as much of a nun as she was a saint - only on a technicality) and they made her carry the Second Coming, which eventually got her kicked off the nunnery of whatever cuz 'These days, if you get pregnant as a nun, you won't be called ‘The Virgin Sarah’ or ‘The Virgin Linda’. You will be called ‘a common whore’. So much for being a virgin.' (Quote from my fanfic (and the weird opioid trip).
I don't know what the rest of the dream was because Mr. Party Pooper (aka my friend JK Juno ily (^з^)-☆) cut me off because I was talking nonsense.
Long story short, the painkillers got out of my system, I took my meds, renewed the prescription, and went on my still-on-going recovery journey.
Did I suffer two heartbreaks in less than 12 hours? Yes. Were they worth it? Eh. I mean, it inspired my fanfic, but wasn't THAT worth it. Did I enjoy my trip? No, I threw up, had diarrhea, and then constipation for two weeks.
I still get an awful surprise when I rewatch Good Omens for a specific scene, only to find out AGAIN that I was just hallucinating.
Moral of the story - don't do drugs and be honest with your doctors and nurses cuz you might actually die.
Anyways, TOODLES!!1!!111!!!
~ CAwdra
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