#if you’re into ff villains give this a look~

[rdng1230]

10 things Easily fixable about That thing that happened: look, killing off Izzy Hands was always gonna hurt like a bitch. And it was a stupid decision, but what really made it worse was how many ways they could have made it better and specifically didn’t, so here’s a list in no particular order of general things that I think would’ve made things suck less, and a couple different story fix proposals. Maybe if I write it all out I can move on a little bit.

I know it was for budgetary reasons but it bothered me Ivan was killed off with one sentence and never mentioned again. I think what would have worked is if Ivan had been a little more fleshed out in s1, and then had him die on screen at the hands of a particularly dickish British naval officer in 2x01. Cut to episode 7 and said dickish Brit is Ricky’s number two. Izzy could have willingly and purposefully drawn the fire of officer asshole, as an acknowledgement of his failure to save Ivan and his past failures to be a proper protector of blackbeards crew, and to save the crew he’s now realized is his family that he is willing to die for. In addition I think that would’ve helped set up the British as being an actual formidable bad guy, because up to this point they were the most looney tunes ass villains on the high seas. Also it would’ve been an interesting symmetry to have the loyal pirate first mate vs. the loyal imperialist scumbag first mate. Think of the banter people.

I hate it when bad events in stories are predicated on having highly intelligent characters be complete idiots. You’re telling me Izzy fucking hands didn’t check noseless wonder for weapons? Fuck off. At least have a fellow soldier toss ricky a musket or something, or just have another soldier shoot him.

I think the main issue here is agency. Yes everyone consented to going into battle that way, but Izzy’s shooting was unceremonious, it wasn’t like he charged somebody or acted as bait, he just got hit by a stray bullet (It’s giving “your shirt” and I fucking hate it Iykyk)

Literally no one attempted medical intervention to help Izzy. Roach isn’t gonna stuff a rag in there? Jim isn’t gonna pass a knife to help rip Izzy’s clothes to visualize the wound? Fang and Frenchie aren’t gonna hold his hand? We’re not even gonna fucking try?!?!

if they had to center Ed’s issues with Izzy’s literal dying words, could we have at least have it be a big character moment for Ed to say “yes the crew is my family, but they’re yours too and I promise I’ll take care of them and make amends” like if DJ is so convinced of this father mentor thing (which seriously what the fuck is he even talking about) what’s more par for the course in this trope then the ole “you’re the man of the house now son you gotta take care of the family” routine

look, I know they got a short episode that they have to keep short. Cut a minute of time out of that breathtakingly awkward fishing sequence from the beginning and give Izzy’s death some breathing room. FFS the fallout from Karl’s and Lucius’s finger’s death had more reaction and more airtime than Izzy Hands (and more effect on the story)

Ricky fucking got away and no one talks about it. It would’ve been great if literally anyone had said “yeah we’re going after that guy” or “we may have won the battle but the British are always out there and one of these days we’ll meet again” just an acknowledgement that one guerilla battle at the republic of pirates was never gonna be the end of it.

this one hits close to home for me. I live on a boat, my mother is a licensed 100 ton ship captain. We’re seafarers goddamit and when we shake off this mortal coil we are buried (or cremated and scattered) at sea. Izzy Hands would not have wanted a land burial and he would’ve wanted to be buried at sea like the distinguished pirate he is, by the crew that became his family.

This segues into the burial at sea thing but maybe don’t bury him without his leg on, like just don’t do that. Don’t put his cravat and mothers ring where anybody could just come along and yank it off, Jesus.

I think frenchie being captain was a weird choice tbh. I love frenchie but he is a jester, a troubadour, a fae walking among us, the worlds handsomest grifter, but this dude does not want to be captain. However, if you had to make him captain I think it would’ve been nice to have had a scene post amputation where Izzy deliriously tells frenchie all these bits of advice about being first mate/captain and how Izzy had failed to be a good one in the past. I just loved the frenchie izzy bond in general and I would’ve loved another extra scene with them. This also would’ve lended itself well to frenchie being the one to outwardly grieve (the box opening up finally) during that minute of breathing room post death that I mentioned was needed earlier, maybe he would’ve reprised la vie en rose, or played a shanty/wake song that everyone could join in on.

I’m sure there are other things too that I’ve forgotten, but I think this covers most of it. Let me also say Izzy’s death was hardly the only issue I had with the finale, but that moment was the most egregiously and easily fixable (or at the very least mitigable) plot point. At the end of the day I think Izzy should’ve just not fucking died, but if they were gonna kill him, there were so many more respectful ways to do it.

#Izzy hands #ofmd s2 spoilers #everyone feel free to add on what I’ve missed #Ofmd

[pinkandpurple360]

https://x.com/vicshnei_art/status/1754166573160407063?s=46 stolas confirmed immortal which … im a bit confused by? like when/how does he stop aging? bc we did see him as a little kid???? like the sins i could see spawning fully grown but??? huh???

on the other hand my blitzfizz heart hopes that if stolitz has to be endgame, then maybe both of their royal sugar daddies can make them immortal so they dont have to worry about losing their best friend to mortality. then stolas dies bc fuck stolas.

Heck if I know. His character would have been hundred times more interesting if he actually was centuries old and Viv didn’t see that fanart. Stolas basically just stole Fizz’s role in the story as a childhood best friend tragically separated by cruel years and class differences, and that ticks me off.

Also the writing is kinda on the wall that Viv is going to make Stolas become mortal and join IMP so that the last barrier to her otp is destroyed at any cost. Even if it means sacrificing Octavias relationship with her father, Stolas only real loving connection with someone. Sigh. While Fizz will marry Asmodeus to become his queen for eternity. unless some Beetlejuice plot twist shenanigans are afoot and Stolas and Fizz do the old switcheroo to be reunited with their lost loved ones.

My blitzfizz heart hurts too because these two are gonna be eternally separated, like Lyle Lipton and Loopdee almost were.

Honestly Id love an AU where these guys are like a metaphor for them. Where it turns out Fizz isn’t some angel sent from above fuelled by romance (cough, royal male approval, cough) but like Blitzø he is also a crooked, hehe thief stealing jewels and crystals from the deadly sins. to give to struggling imps and family like Barbie Wire. Since Beelzebub is the source of addiction in hell, enabled Blitzos mental break, and likely effected Barb and Verosika so negatively, (two women Fizz should at least be acquainted with) I don’t see Fizz warming up to her. His inlaws are her and Mammon ffs, it’s looking bleak.

“fizz you no good heartless son of a bitch💚you were stealing from the blue bloods too?”

“You don’t make mountains of cash from flashy performances and technological advancements in robotics by not stealing from the rich! ‘Specially if you’re an imp!”

Aside, I’ll always miss the villain stolas we lost he would have been so cool if the instagrams and fujoshi didn’t ruin it. And I’m not trying to be rude to the insta because the show also destroyed them in a vice versa situation. Honestly I don’t know how the F they communicated so badly to each other

#helluva boss critical #AUs and headcanons

[safyresky]

Happy New Episode Day! You know what that means!

🆕 Crystal Springs Chapter 26: Whiteout is now UP on ao3 and ff dot net!

I'm not doing this on purpose, I swear! It just...happens this way. I imagine next week's chapter, given it being one HELL of a dozy, may end up up well past Friday 😬😬 WE'LL SEE. ANYWAY.

Chapter 26: Whiteout

Through the age old tradition of villain monologues, Pyros explains his plan to the masses.

Give 'er a read HERE on ao3 and HERE on fanfiction dot net!

Today for the excerpt we have what I think is some of the best comedic timing in this old thang...

The wind came from nowhere and was everywhere all at once. It flung his jacket back, growing stronger and stronger. Hands in front of his face, he tried to press forward; but the snow was being pushed back in the wind, and taking him with it. It kept going, faster and stronger pushing the snow out, pushing him out, until Jack found himself staring at the swinging doors of the Elfirmary, snow pooling around him in the hallway. The snow below him froze. He slid back, stopping when the balcony railing gently pressed into his back. Dropping his arms, he exhaled, taking a moment to breath. The hallway was busy. Elle stood at the top of the steps, directing the evacuated Elfirmary staff and elves that were in the area down the stairs to the main floor. Pushing against the crowd, Bernard worked his way up, helping elves down the stairs and doing his best to reassure as he made it to the landing.  “Elle!”  “B!”  “What’s going on?”  “It’s Jacqueline,” Elle said, the last few elves rushing down the steps. “So, we’ve got good news and bad news.”  Bernard watched the elves rush away. Looked at the pile of snow in the hallway. Saw Jack pulling himself up off the banister with assistance from the wall beside it.  “Hmm. Okay. What’s the good news?”  “The good news is, she’s up!”  “The bad news?”  The Elfirmary doors slammed open, snow billowing out, carrying Jacqueline with it. She looked furious, wind rustling her skirt, hair whipping back. “That. That’s the bad news,” Elle said. “Oh,” Bernard replied, his voice cracking. Briefly glaring at her surroundings, Jacqueline lifted her hand. The snow on the floor shot up, packing together. Jacqueline pointed at Jack. The snow raced at her command, heading right for him. Jack stuck out his own hand, redirecting the snow before it could come near him. He turned on the spot, the snow stacking up in front of him, filling the hallway wall to wall until it touched the ceiling. Jack curled his fingers into his palm. The snow crunched. It stiffened, going from icy to packing in an instant as Jack backed up, stopping in front of the head elves.  “Was that everyone?”  “Yep,” Elle said.   “Great! That’s not going to hold her for long,” Jack gestured over his shoulder to the snowy wall behind him as something hit it forcefully with a muffled thump. It squeaked. “I can get her out of the Workshop, at least. Prime real estate is that-away, isn’t it?” Jack asked, pointing towards the other end of the hallway. It branched off by a round window, curving down one direction, heading up the other. “In both directions,” Bernard said. “Middle balcony is to the left. Upper balcony is, well. Up. You’re gonna lead her out?”  “Unless you’d rather risk the Workshop. Personally I don’t mind either way, but—”  “Hmm, yeah, I’d rather you didn’t,” Bernard said. “But just so you know, there’s trouble outside too.”  “Trouble?” both Elle and Jack asked, the muffled thumps increasing behind them. The snow squeaked louder, tiny trails falling off the edges and sliding to the floor. “Take a look for yourself.” Bernard lifted his chin towards the window at the end of the hall. Snow cracking behind him, Jack rushed to the end of the hall and peered out the window. He squinted in surprise, recoiling in shock.  “Well that’s probably not good.”  “What?” Elle asked.   “I’m seeing double.”

YEAH YOU ARE! Time to line things up for one BANGER of a FAMILY REUNION!

Not enough Blaise and Pyros here for you? Then go on ahead and read Chapter 26: Whiteout for some top tier sibling shenanigans from these two, on ao3 here and fanfiction dot net here!

Wanna start Crystal Springs from the TOP? Check out the Prologue: An Encounter HERE on ao3 and HERE on ff dot net!

Story summary and author's rambles below the cut!

It’s been almost a year since Jack Frost thawed and things are looking…well, not so great. Jack’s powers are seemingly gone. Without them, the Dome that keeps the North Pole safe from the cold and its magic controlled is melting, putting everything and everyone magical at risk. Unable to hide his power shortage any longer, Jack is forced to admit the truth. Thankfully, there is a solution: enacting the Legate Law, bringing Jack and the sister that he hurt so many centuries ago back together again. But when Jacqueline starts experiencing destructive blackouts, the pair are forced to head back home to Crystal Springs, bringing Jack face to face with the rest of the family. Needless to say, between getting his powers back, helping his sister figure out what in the FROST those blackouts even were, reconciling with his parents, meeting the two even younger siblings he didn’t even KNOW he had, NOT TO MENTION the ancient threat that’s had it out for the ENTIRE Frost family finally making a move? Saving Christmas (regrettably) is looking to be a little bit…complicated.

I LOVE that ao3 allows for a summary this long. Hell YES!

RIGHTO SO! CHAPTER 26!

She gave me last minute doubt while editing in the ao3 draft reader 👉🏻👈🏻. Idk WHY but I suddenly started doubting EVERYTHING about it abchbtrjbotrj. I HOPE it reads as well as it did BEFORE I got all doubty! It's got a lot of fun moments so this came out of nowhere and had me running laps in the house and laying face down on the floor pulling a Tina with some LOUD moans of despair 😵😵

There isn't much NEW this chapter; it's gotten a HUGE glow up from the original Chapter 26! Word count comparisons:

CS 2014 (the OG) -> 4,194k

CS 202X -> 7,679k

DECENT GLOW UP. Checks out tho, these chapters were SO SHORT they barely packed a punch.

That's okay! Blaise has, QUITE LITERALLY, fixed that

Pyros's plan is bonkers bananas, but I hope it makes sense how it all links together! Love that he's more angry about losing a war he started that got EVERYONE super pissed off instead of the almost 5000 years of solitary confinement, lol.

Right, well, ENJOY IT! And today's episode too, I guess? I've seen some spoilers and I am more confused than anything so we'll see how that plays out tonight.

#dani speaks #dani writes #long post #cs updates #cs on ao3 #crystal springs #fanfic #the santa clause #the santa clause 3 #the santa clause 2 #i almost pasted the entirety of chapter 26 in here accidentally lol #WILDIN #ANYWAY since starting this post i have seen even MORE spoilers and i am unamused #so we'll see how this goes!!! #jack frost #tsc jack frost #ocs #tsc #tsc2 #tsc3

[elvenmother]

Context and Perspective: Sidesteps And Sidekicks

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x F Reader Rating: Teen. Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injuries, mentions of blood Chapter: 12/15 Word count: 3042

Summary: The newest member of the Heroics has gone missing and as one of the better-known Villains on the scene, you are blamed. Then your sidekick goes missing. You must go after the Heroic’s leader to try to get them back and clear your name.

Note: This has not been beta read, so apologies for any mistakes. This is my first time writing for We Can Be Heroes and Marcus Moreno.

Part Eleven | Part One

The cleanup from the building collapse had already begun, and as you and Marcus made your way around the area close to Donna’s salon, there was evidence of the Heroics all around. A set of two temporary metal cabins had been placed next to the intersection where the bulk of the destruction had been and all around was evidence of heavy booted foot traffic. It looked like the Heroics had organised for a clean-up crew and builders to help the community get back to normal, which you had to admit was a nice thing for them to do. You heavily suspected Marcus’ hand in that. Massive metal sheet fencing had been placed all around the main collapse, each with the large yellow H of the Heroics on it. You had to hand it to them. They had branding down to a fine art.

Building by building, street by street, the two of you began to search. Looking for clues that could lead to either Chloe or Freefall. A marking, a note, a scrap of clothing, anything. Marcus combed the ground while you took to the air and checked rooftops. But there was nothing.

After three hours of checking the same places and looping back on yourselves, you flew down to where Marcus was leaning against a rundown-looking tech store.

“Anything?” You landed gently next to him. He just shook his head. You could feel his frustration and anxiety. This had been your only lead on Freefall. But more than that, you knew Marcus was worried about Missy.

He’d had to leave her in the house rather than talk to her about what she’s overheard. If you’d been able to find a clue or something, it might have seemed worth it. But you were willing to bet that right now, Marcus wished he had stayed home with his distressed daughter.

“We’ll have to start a spiral out from here.” He said finally. His voice sounded hoarse, almost as though he was forcing himself to speak. “It’ll take time, but it’ll all we’ve got.”

“Right. Tomorrow though. It’s late, and you must want to get home to Missy.” You sighed, stepping closer to him, wishing you could give him some hope. “I’ll-” A noise from your pocket cut you off. “That’s my phone. It might be… my assistant. I mean, she’s not really… she’s my friend. She’s Chloe’s aunt. Hang on.”

Marcus just nodded wearily as you fished your phone out and looked at the new message. It wasn’t from Jada.

Crushing Low has been sent to an address where it is believed FF and C are. Think you should take your new friend there. Coords to follow - B

“It’s my contact in Heroics HQ.” You looked up at Marcus, who immediately stood up straight. “Crushing Low has been sent to find Freefall at a location not too far from here. We should go too in case Chloe is with him.”

“Let’s go.” Marcus began jogging back to his car before leaping in and starting the engine. As soon as you closed the passenger door, he set off. Keying the coordinates B had sent you into your sat nav app, the monotone voice soon began giving directions.

“I don’t understand.” You looked over at Marcus. “I thought you were in charge of this investigation.”

“That makes two of us.” He frowned. “If Noah has been spotted or HQ had a lead, they should have contacted me first.”

“You are the leader, right?” You turned in your seat to face him better, and he shot you a look. “Hey, I don’t mean it like that. I don't understand how the Heroics work. If you’re the leader, even if this wasn’t your case, can Heroics be sent places without you knowing?”

“Technically, yes.” He admitted reluctantly, making a sharp turn onto an unlit street. “We have a director. Ms Granada. She decides who gets assigned to what.”

“What’s the difference between you and her, then?”

“When I retired from active duty, my role became more administrative for a while, but after Ms Granada was promoted to director, I began focusing on training and coordination more.” Marcus explained. “So now I help train the younger Heroics as well as work with Granada on team assignments. Although technically, she’s my boss, I’m still the team leader. All new Heroics have to be approved by me, all assignments have to be approved by both of us.”

“I still don’t fully understand but ok. So, this Ms Granada is the one who sent Crushing Low out tonight?” You were still confused. It didn’t sound like Marcus actually did much leading, and the title was probably just a token one.

“Yes. But it still should have been run by me, and I’ve got no messages.” Marcus chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. “Granada is a real stickler for the rules. This can’t have come from her. Can your contact find out who ordered this?”

“I’ll ask.” You picked your phone up off the dashboard and quickly typed out a message to B.

MM is concerned. This should have gone through him. Can you find out who sent out CL? - Z

The reply was almost immediate.

Already working on that. Tell him it wasn’t G. - B

“They’re working on it.” You said as Marcus began to pull up outside a dilapidated-looking factory. “But they said it wasn’t G. I assume they mean Granada.”

Marcus nodded as he switched the engine off. As you both got out of the car, you got your first real look at where you were. A sprawling industrial site, long since abandoned, stretched out before you. Nearly all the streetlights were dark, probably broken or without bulbs, and only a few flickering beams of orange lit the area and the maze of roads that made up this huge factory district. If it hadn’t been for the coordinates that B had sent you, there was no way you would have found the right building.

“Moreno!” A voice came out of the darkness, surprising you both. A voice you recognised immediately. A voice that made you instantly on edge and on guard. You recalled a memory of flipping him off and deciding the Heroics were assholes. Damn it.

Sure enough, stepping out from behind a battered-looking shipping container was Crushing Low. His curly dark hair was shorter than the last time you had seen him, and he was now sporting a neatly trimmed beard streaked with grey.

“Liam.” Marcus greeted his teammate, who glared for a brief moment at the use of his real name. “Liam, this is-”

“I know who that is, Marcus.” Crushing Low stopped next to Marcus, looking over at his leader with a mixture of confusion and irritation. “The question is, why are you here with her of all people?”

“She’s been trying to help me find Freefall.”

“My friend is missing too.” You decided to be as honest as possible straight away. If Crushing Low started a fight, then it was not one you could win. His juggernaut powers were one thing, but he also had super speed and super strength. If this got violent, your only chance would be to take off and hope you could lose him in the air. You watched as he raised a single eyebrow. “I know what the media has said and what Heroics HQ is saying, but I had nothing to do with Freefall’s disappearance.”

“Uh huh.” Crushing Low eyed you carefully.

“Liam, listen to me.” Marcus put his hand on Crushing Low’s shoulder. “She has been nothing but helpful. That build collapse yesterday? She helped me rescue people. Liam, please.” Marcus leaned up close to the other man. “Who sent you here? I know it wasn’t Granada. This is my case. Don’t you find this strange?”

“This whole case is strange, Marcus.” Crushing Low chuckled and gestured with his head towards you. “There is definitely more going on here than meets the eye.”

Marcus kept his eyes on Crushing Low. “So why were you sent here?”

“I received orders telling me there had been a sighting of Freefall.” Crushing Low took a deep breath, looking around and finally pointing to a building a little to the left of where the three of you stood. “It said a supervillain was holding him.”

“Who?” You frowned. You already knew what he was going to say.

Crushing Low considered his words for a moment before answering. “You, actually.”

“God damn it!” You threw your hands in the air, exasperated. You were expecting this, but it was still so frustrating.

“The report said you had Freefall, and he was being guarded by your sidekick. Frost Root, was it?” Crushing Low cocked his head, carefully watching you.

“So Chloe and Noah are together.” You looked over at Marcus, who nodded.

“Wait. You know his real name?” Crushing Low shot a look at Marcus.

“Yeah, I went to school with his mom.” You put your hands up as you took a step towards the two men. “I meant to tell you earlier, Marcus. My friend got back to me. She talked to Ashley, and she confirmed that Noah and Chloe met last year at a party.”

Jada’s text from that afternoon had totally slipped your mind. You had been so distracted by Dale and then Missy. You had meant to text Marcus immediately after Jada’s message, but then the phone had rung, and then Dale had bothered you. After that, all you’d been able to think about was how much Dale knew and how long he’d been watching you.

“So he’s not your prisoner?” Crushing Low narrowed his eyes and looked from you to Marcus and back again.

“For fucks sake-”

“Liam.” Marcus cut you off. “No, we’ve been over this. She’s not the bad guy here. She never was. She never has been.”

Crushing Low looked sternly at Marcus. “What are you talking about, Marcus?”

“There’s more going on here that we realise.” Marcus pointed towards the building Crushing Low had been sent to. “But right now, we need to get to Noah and Chloe before someone else does.”

“You think they’re in danger?” You frowned as Marcus nodded.

“I think someone would pin this on you or Chloe, and either of you could get hurt.” He started walking towards a ruined-looking factory. “I’m not going to let that happen.”

The three of you set off towards the factory, with Marcus taking the lead. You could feel Crushing Low’s eyes still watching you intently as he brought up the rear. It irritated you, but at the same time, you understood his point of view. One conversation wasn’t going to undo years of people and the media telling him you were a threat. It had taken a building collapse and speaking to two other Heroics for Marcus to fully believe you. All you could do was be yourself and he’d see you were no villain. Or at least that was what you hoped.

What first caught your attention as you all but crawled through the small gap between the heavily rusted doors was that the building smelt terrible. It was that horrible mixture of damp, dust and piss that hit you in the face like a slap. Behind you, Crushing Low retched as he squeezed himself through the narrow opening.

“Nice place.” You muttered, looking around the dark empty room of what once must have been the factory’s reception area. All furnishing had long since been cleared out, but the outlines on the floor for a reception desk remained along with half the letters for the company’s name.

“Look.” Marcus pointed to the floor, clicking on a flashlight and shining it over near a doorway leading further in. “Someone has been here recently.”

Stepping forward, you squinted in the dark to see what he was looking at. It took you a moment, but then you spotted them on the floor. Footprints in the dust. Crushing Low walked carefully over to them and squatted down, examining them meticulously.

“Two sets.” He said after about a minute. “I’d say one male and one female. So, probably Noah and… Chloe, was it?”

You nodded. That was good. If theirs was the only set of prints, then that meant no one had come after them. Yet. Someone knew they were here, you reminded yourself quickly. Someone had sent Crushing Low, someone who hadn’t wanted Marcus here.

“Let’s take this slow.” Marcus whispered to the two of you. “We don’t want to spook them. Let's just find them and get them back to my house to talk.”

“Agreed.” Crushing Low stood back up. “You take point. We’ll follow.”

Marcus shook his head. “No, I think she should go in first.” He motioned to you. “They are much less likely to run from you.”

“I agree.” You nodded. “You two follow me but not too far. I want them to see me first, then you, but for them to understand we’re all together.”

“All right.” Marcus fell back a step next to Crushing Low. “Ready whenever you are.”

You took a deep breath and headed through the open doorway that led further into the factory. The factory floor smelt even worse than the reception area, if that was possible, with the heavy iron smell of rust joining the mix from the handful of broken machines that still filled the space. You heard Marcus mutter something under his breath as you led the way through the dark assembly floor.

A small light in the distance caught your eye. A dim yellow glow peeked out from under a closed door to the former manager's office. Turning slightly to Marcus and Crushing Low, you motioned to it and started heading in that direction. Reaching the door, you stopped for a moment and listened. Behind the flimsy door, you could hear muffled conversation. Two people in hushed voices, too quiet for you to hear what they were properly saying but just loud enough for you to recognise a voice. It was Chloe. After taking another deep breath, which, thanks to the stench, you instantly regretted, you knocked. The voices stopped immediately.

“Chloe.” You called softly through the door. “Chloe, it’s me. Please, honey. Can I come in?”

There was a little shuffling and the sound of latches being undone before the door opened slowly. Your heart leapt as you saw the worried face of a young woman greeting you on the other side. Chloe.

“Hey.” She sheepishly said your name, her eyes not quite meeting yours. “How’d you find me?”

“I had a little help.” You pointed your thumb over your shoulder, and you watched Chloe’s eyes widen as she recognised who you were with.

“Is… is that?” She stammered. “Are those Heroics?”

“Shit.” A male voice came from behind the door.

“Noah, I take it.” You tried to keep your voice light. The last thing you needed was for them to panic and make a run for it.

A mass of messy brown hair poked out from behind the door, and you got your first proper look at Noah McMahon, aka Freefall. He was around the same age as Chloe, peering over her head almost as if he was hiding behind her. He looked at you but quickly, his eyes landed on someone behind you, and you knew exactly who he was looking at.

“Hey.” Noah started weakly. “I mean, erm, hello, Sir.”

“Noah.” Marcus stepped forward until he was shoulder-to-shoulder with you. “And Chloe. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’d glad to see you’re both safe.”

“Yeah.” Noah’s eyes fell to the floor while Chloe continued to stare at you in disbelief. “Sorry about all the trouble, Sir.”

Marcus held a hand up and shook his head. “There will be time to talk later, but right now, we have to get you out of here.”

“I’m not going back to the Heroics, Sir.” Noah’s eyes shot up, and he seemed to stand a little straighter. “I can’t. I-”

“No, I agree.” Marcus cut him off. “It’s not safe right now. I can’t explain here, but please believe me we need to leave here right now.”

“There’s something weird going on, kid.” Crushing Low offered over your shoulder.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Chloe looked at Marcus and then back at you. “You came here with them?”

“Let's get somewhere safe, then we’ll explain everything.” You held out your hand for Chloe to take. “Please. Someone sent Crushing Low here, and it wasn’t Ms Granada.”

“What?” “Who’s Ms Granada?” Noah and Chloe asked simultaneously. Chloe spun to look at Noah, who shook his head.

“She’s the director for the Heroics. Nothing gets done without going through her or Mr Moreno. If someone went around them, then we’re in more trouble than I thought.” He placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “We should go with them, babe.”

You raised your eyebrow at Chloe at the babe nickname, and she shot you a look back that reminded you exactly of her aunt Jada. After a couple of seconds, Chloe rolled her eyes and nodded reluctantly.

“Ok, let's go.”

“Great.” Marcus stepped away from the door and turned to Crushing Low. “I’m going to take them to my house. Report back. Claim it was a false alarm, and you found nothing. Then meet us back at mine.”

“Got it.” Crushing Low started to walk away.

“Wait!” You called out. He stopped and turned. “Please, make sure you’re not followed and don’t trust anyone other than Ms Vox or Blinding Fast at HQ. We still don’t know who sent you here.”

Crushing Low frowned and nodded. “You’re right. I’ll be careful. You all should be too. See you all later.”

Crushing Low disappeared into the dark as Chloe and Noah gathered their things from their small hideout. Once they were ready, you and Marcus guided them back to his car. Setting off back to the Moreno house, you could feel the tension coming off Chloe and Noah in the back seat. While you had a lot to catch them up on, they also needed to explain why they left. It was going to be one hell of a conversation when you all got back.

~~~~

Tag list: @Anaaaispunk, @littlemisspascal, @galaxyofmando, @pintsizemama, @athalien, @wondercloud, @amoriavelton, @alm0501, @kinda-nobody, @zanzann, @furiousmushroom, @lemonboynsp, @ghostofaboy,

#marcus moreno #marcus moreno x reader #marcus moreno x f!reader #we can be heroes #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #context and perspective

[dont-take-me-home]

Ted Lasso s03e04 thoughts no one asked for (content warning: I am disgruntled and being a downer)

Ted, just to get it out of the way:

Dear lord, he is so unlikeable this season. Do your fucking job! At least try to do your fucking job! Pretend you’re doing your fucking job? Something? Pretend to care when you are actually on the pitch with your players playing their hearts out (even if they do it badly) and your assistant coaches freaking out because they were doing their desperate best and it wasn’t enough and the fans losing their shit? How long can this man really do zero (0) for his team and not bother to Wikipedia the basics of football and then get to be all paternally smiley and superior afterward somehow because Roy and Beard’s strategy backfired? At least they tried. Fuck you, Ted. And Roy and Beard, grow a backbone FFS. (Also Roy and Beard are portrayed as very incapable here to make Ted look less awful by comparison. I see what you’re doing, script. And I don’t like it.)

This show started out portraying Ted as a martyr in his divorce, yes, but also showing that there’s no guilty parties. And then we got more and more martyr and absolutely no words from Michelle to show that she’s still a kind and fair person. Because she isn’t a person anymore. She’s just someone for Ted to be saintly at. Dear Jason: your self-insert is showing. Have I mentioned the word unlikeable yet?

Sassy is also unnecessarily cruel. She’s always been blunt, but since I know how many puritanical Americans in the fandom dislike her for being a woman who smokes, has casual sex and is not a people-pleaser, I feel like the show is just going along with that now. All the better to portray Ted as a poor little boy that women are so mean to.

Bottom line: THIS IS NOT WRITTEN WELL

Nate:

Look, yes, his scenes were good and if I cared about the big Ted-Nate plotline anymore I would enjoy giving this a good breakdown, but I never enjoyed Nate as a character that much (he’s just SO weak and SO needy and SO makes it everyone else’s problem that I just lose sympathy, sorry, it’s a me thing) and also I don’t care about Ted right now so whatever.

The one joy for me here is 70-year-old Anthony Head getting to play a very sexy villain and having the time of his life with it. Hey daddy. Hey. You are an awful human being. Can I buy you a rich people drink?

Keeley:

Her gentle, gradual realisation that Jamie is not the Jamie she used to know anymore and shouldn’t be dismissed as a football fuckboy was very sweet and a nice payoff for fans. Both Jamie and Keeley deserved that moment.

Her own arc with her PR firm is too rushed to really do anything it’s trying to do. I mean Keeley is always very likeable and we want to be with her when she fights to be respected as a businesswoman but we don’t actually see her working or being good at it -- just having difficulties with her backstabby CFO and her irresponsible underling and saying she wants the president of her VC to find her “mysterious” (what? how about finding you capable? responsible? worth the investment?). So her scenes don’t have any meat to them. (She also looks like a clown not knowing what said president is called or that she’s a woman... wtf?)

I think we’re meant to see some sexual tension between her and Jack? Wouldn’t mind them dating. Wouldn’t mind them being endgame, actually. Keeley isn’t a trophy and she doesn’t owe either of her dumbass exes her love just because they’ve grown as humans (as Jamie already has and I assume Roy is going to before the end of the season).

She’s canonically bisexual whether we see her actually dating a woman or not! Just a reminder.

Bottom line: THIS IS ALSO NOT WRITTEN WELL (mostly)

Rebecca:

Still thinking about Sam. As one would if one had an ex who was beautiful and intelligent and hot like lava and kind and principled and perfect.

Roy and Jamie:

No idea what they’re doing together in their sexy nighttime coaching sessions, frankly. Jamie is in peak physical shape, isn’t he? The last think he would need is more physical exertion fucking up whatever training plan the fitness coaches have for him.

However, I accept the script’s handwavyness about it, because Roy is such a hot mean dom and Jamie is so eager to please him and we got to see Jamie’s butt and we also got to see Roy seeing Jamie’s butt. I’m a simple person.

The himbos:

I want to hug them and put them in one of those heated boxes they use to protect baby chickens. They are too stupid to live. My heart overflows with love. This is a realistic portrayal of footballers.

#ted lasso thoughts #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso 3x04

[galacticnova3]

LET VILLAINS BE VILLAINS FFS STOP WOOBIFYING MAGOLOR

^ Me if I hated characters having depth and learning from their mistakes and striving to be better with a second chance they fought so hard for, and was also super annoying and too cowardly to stand by my opinions openly.

With all due respect(none) I don’t think you have your body forcibly warped into a horrific abomination and struggle against something that wants to devour your soul from the inside out, but ultimately survive that situation thanks to someone else you hurt choosing to save you in spite of what you did, only to remain the exact same person you were before. You’re free to have your own interpretation of his character, but I’m free to have mine. And I want mine to grow as a person, molded by his experiences but not chained to the past, rough around the edges but trying to be a good guy without necessarily abandoning his love of mischief. He wants to be a real friend, and not have that just be a front he puts on that has nothing of substance behind it. He’s seen what kind of monster his old way of life could create, and refuses to let it return for his own sake and others too.

Also if HAL is allowed to decide Marx gets to come back for no reason, and the fandom gets to give that fucker the “not evil just a gremlin” treatment, I should be allowed to look at Magolor and his experiences and have him make better choices in light of the consequences of his previous ones.

#asks #rambling #and if you don’t like that anon you can always happily fuck off #instead of complaining about burgers being served at a McDonald’s

[thescrapbookingscientist]

Biweekly Media Roundup

- The Owl House (TV) - Alright so we got the penultimate episode, soon we’ll have no Owl House left. This was a pretty good setup, the most memorable parts being Willows much needed development, Luz’s palismen reveal, the brief snippets of Collector lore, and Eda and Lilith's new looks. The school stuff sorta dragged as I wasn’t super interested in the background cast and their petty survivalist struggle when the Collector as an entity is a lot more intriguing; I do wish we got to see more of their deal though I suppose that’s something to look forward to in the finale. 

- Buddy Daddies (Anime) - Buddy Daddies started off pretty good and has gotten a bit better each episode, with a pretty good sense of humor and some nice characterization moments for Rei. I’m still waiting for Miri to develop a personality beyond ‘Cute child’ (Something like Anya or Yotsuba), but as a vehicle for comedy/wholesomeness she works fine. Anyway, if you’re watching pause to read the daycare moms texts, they’re great. 

- The Way of the House Husband (Anime) - An anime night staple, we’ve caught up with House Husband, which continues to be a great time. While the core joke of “Scary ex yakuza actually does really wholesome mundane things” is more or less the same each time, the execution changes enough to keep the formula working. In general it’s just a pleasant watch, and it’s kind of validating to see normal struggles like weeding your yard or impulse buying expensive food being treated with the same intensity as a shoot-out. It really be like that sometime.

- JJBA: Stone Ocean (Anime) - Welp finished Stone Ocean and. It did certainly end. I’m not really sure how I feel about it, I guess it’s not a bad end per se but it sure left a lot of things unanswered/open to interpretation. I guess Part 7 will elaborate more on the rules of the new world but for the characters in this part I guess we’ll just have to imagine what this Modern Day Nobody Dies Found Family AU is like. Either way my favorite nonbinary mass of plankton FF probably doesn’t exist in this new world either so bummer. Still, this was an interesting season, I did like the concept of gravity reversal and the opportunity to see the main cast outside of the prison setting.  In terms of Jojo Parts overall I’d put it around the same Tier as Part 3, it had a solid cast of main characters, a good antagonist, and some interesting stand match-ups, but could also drag a bit as I zoned out during quite a few of the villain-of-the-week battles, and lacked consistency when it came to the power set rules. 

- The Greatest Estate Developer (Webcomic) - I still have brainrot over these guys, I’m going to cave and read the webnovel any minute I can feel it. 

- Demon Slayer (Anime) - Watched the whole Mugen Train Arc this week, which had some extra content from the movie to allow for more Rengoku time. Again, I don’t have much to say, still really impressed by the final battle and Inosuke is still best boy.

- Love Is War (Anime) - So this is one I’ve had on the backburner for a while, I had heard from basically everyone that it was amazing but had attempted to watch the first few episodes a few times and never got it to stick. To be fair I had known that I should give it longer to impress me, comedies in general usually take at least half a season to endear you to the characters before getting really good, I guess I just had other things I was more interested in. Well, no more, now that my sister is watching it with me we’ve blown right though the first season, and while I still wouldn’t call it a masterpiece I do see where the hype is coming from, the cast is a lot of fun. The ending of the 1st season in particular was super cute, I’m rooting for these idiots. 

- Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies (Video Game) - I had taken a brief break from my quest to complete the whole Ace Attorney franchise after Apollo Justice, but I’m back now with Dual Destinies. For positives so far I like Athena and Blackquill, as well as the Athena/Apollo sibling dynamic. For negatives I kind of wish Phoenix wasn’t as prevalent as he is, we are starting to get too many characters vying for the spotlight and I feel like there’s not enough time for any of them to make a lasting impression, especially poor Athena having to share her spotlight with 2 guys who already had their own games. 

- Persona 5 Royal (Video Game) - Still impressed with how this game writes the core friend group, it’s very pleasant to watch them all interact. Yusuke and Makoto are my faves right now, though battle wise Ann and Ryuji are solid units. I don’t feel like writing much more atm, mostly because I’d rather be playing this game haha.

We also just started Gintama and Ranking of Kings at anime night. I’m theoretically watching Sense 8 and The Last of Us as well, though I’m behind due to prioritizing the others. Finally, I’ve been keeping up with ORV, S-Class, Demon School, and TVDINT as they publish weekly.

Listening to: Persona 5 OST, Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons, Parachute by Ingris Michaelson, Fear & Delight by The Correspondents, Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas, Melancholic by Junky, There She Goes by The La’s, Waiting For Love by Avicii, Every Little Thing She Does is Magic by The Police, Somebody Loves You by Betty Who, EPIC: The Troy Saga OST

#My posts #weekly roundup

[asteralien]

my hypothetical ao3 collection of midnights-based songfic, no other unifying factor - 40% serious, 50% if-i-was-good-enough-maybe, 10% shitpost.

“lavender haze” this one is a jonmichael fic purely off the “talk your talk and go viral / I just want the love spiral / get it off your chest / get it off my desk” bridge. that’s a mostly canon compliant jonmichael bridge if i ever heard it. they are holding hands at jon’s desk

“maroon” I'm going to ask you to hang with me for a second: richard maxwell/greg kelly. look it's canon that they knew each other (i can't remember if they knew they both worked for blackgaard? don't make me reread any of the blackgaard chronicles again ffs.) and if there's anything i love doing in fic it's turning a single line or two of throwaway canon into melodramatic soap opera nonsense. they lived together in chicago and did sketchy jobs together and fell in love and it was messy when richard left. and then waylaid in the windy city happened. yeah the blood is definitely just talking about a blush

“anti-hero” THEE richard maxwell character study of all time. i can hear i have this thing where i get older but just never wiser in his voice fr.

“snow on the beach” this is a steveloki song and specifically in my ideal stoki fic where it's loki who saves steve instead of the other way around. this pairing IS peak ‘weird but fuckin beautiful’

“you’re on your own, kid” i want to make this about morgana so bad. idk how but this should be a morgana fic.

“midnight rain” tbh i hate this song, no fic

“question…?” ditto

“vigilante shit” this is sheer richard maxwell revenge bait. idk how the fic would actually go but suddenly i’m picturing nb!richard and connie screwing blackgaard over and driving away in his car and making out at a fancy beach house, and it’s making me really happy

“bejeweled” this one gave me the most trouble but listen: IRONIC VILLAIN SONG FOR MORGANA. morgana wins au, she glows up and reclaims the throne and she does, in fact, polish up real nice!! she has been too good of a girl!!! it is time to teach some lessons!!!!!!

“labyrinth” look this song bores me to death, go queen give me nothing, but like. obviously it’s a steveloki song, the bit about the plane? the bit about everyone expecting him to bounce back? this one isn’t clever but it would make a cute enough long fic concept. probably in my loki-saves-steve idea as well, definitely the ‘oh’(tm) chapter for steve’s pov.

“karma” sorry that i think this would make for the funniest steve-centric anti-tony fic in the whole entire world. sorry that i'm objectively right. sorry that i will never write it but like, imagine. IMAGINE

“sweet nothing” this would be the epilogue fic to my jonmichael misophonia fic series. after a certain point, jon being the archivist means everyone wants something from him, usually something destructive or hurtful or just plain something he doesn't want to do, but now jon and michael are free somehow and jon gets to be loved by someone who wants nothing from him except himself.

“mastermind” this is richason to a TEE. a cute little “i am secretly Courting You, haha you’ll never find out until it’s TOO LATE” fic, richard thinks he’s so smart. jason does too but def not about this.

“the great war” i read the lyrics for this one time and decided it would make the most steveloki fic of all time and i was and still am correct

“bigger than the whole sky” this is the fic where jason and richard have a whirlwind romance during DBD but richard dies when he gets caught (either murdered or dies when he jumps out of the car). this song also bores me to tears but the sentiment of jason not getting to know richard the way they should have been, after richard has finally been able to clear his name and have a more peaceful life sans regis, is a pretty compelling one to me.

“paris” nah this is my least favorite song on the album

“high infidelity” i love this song but i can’t imagine a character/pairing/situation that i’d want to write about with actual infidelity?

“glitch” EUGENE/RICHARD FANS COME GET YALL JUICE. i know i know, it's tacky and gimmicky, but, come on, it's adorable! geek love! this is a "falling in love while deep-diving into the imagination station's code" fic. literally the cutest. i haven't quite figured out how i would actually write eugene/richard but y'all have convinced me that it would be adorbs.

“would’ve, should’ve, could’ve” the spiritual sequel to the "you're on your own, kid" morgana fic. i mean the line about spitting out poison??? there's a lot here that could make a good uther angst fic but tbh i want to zero in on a morgana vs merlin dynamic where morgana knows about his magic and that he still chose to turn his back on her. not in an anti-merlin way but still in that "how dare you betray me like that" vein. god "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" in a morgana context absolutely KILLS me.

“dear reader” oh man you could write the most crushing jon jarchivist study off this song. and by you I mean someone else who isn’t me. but i can pretend i have the competency to make this work

#long post #sorry about the long post holy shit #this thing took me THREE WEEKS #i talk a big game about morgana-centric fic for someone who’s written a single morgana drabble and nothing else #but again: this is as much aspirational as it is serious #one day I will expand my fic writing horizons but today is not that day. #also I realize that I sound like such a hater but like. it’s def a t-swift album #when there are six songs that are pretty good to really good; four that I want to burn with kerosene because they’re so boring; #and three songs that give me psychic damage for a year and that i play ten times a day for months afterwards #‘the great war’ is really what set this off and yes that IS my one s-tier song off the album #my fic

[pluviophile-imagines]

People will really say with such fucking conviction a completely incorrect interpretation of Shigaraki as a character. It’s so funny to me… ig because that’s part of the point of his character? He’s constantly overlooked and talked down to and never listened to despite openly stating his desires and his motives from the very start—even by characters like AFO who certainly think they know him.

Anyway. There’s this rlly common thought that Shigaraki’s biggest toxic trait as a boyfriend would be possessiveness or being controlling and tbh… that’s just not an aspect of his personality? One of his biggest traits as the League’s leader is that he’s not controlling at all… in fact he holds himself to a much higher standard in terms of loyalty than he does the others. For the most part he lets them all do whatever the fuck they want and trusts that they’re loyal, so interpreting him as controlling/possessive is a fundamental misunderstanding of his character imo. He’s patient and he remembers things about what his allies want; it got cut from the anime but in the manga he lets Spinner full-on attack him and yell at him and genuinely listens to what the guy is saying while he does it, and then takes the League on a field trip to take out a cult of anti-mutant extremists to actively show Spinner that he was listening. Those aren’t the actions of someone who’s controlling or childish...

Idk. I think there r childish & toxic aspects to the way he’d view romance (obviously, he was raised by AFO ffs of course there’d be fucked up elements to his affection) but ultimately of all the villains save for maybe like. Mr Compress. I think Shigaraki (certainly later on in the story) would be one of the most healthy partners lmfao. And in terms of possessiveness... I feel like he’d be too secure in his relationship to even bother. like ur dating him, it’s a given that you’re his and he’s yours, so he’s not about to give a shit about you hanging out with anyone or even disappearing for days at a time

And again its more amusing than anything to me, because it feels more like a “well he’s the main villain so he must have these toxic traits commonly associated with villainy” kind of reasoning than a genuine look at his character, which is funny because again in-universe people do that to him all the time! How many times has he outlined his views on society and heroes and his motivations behind what he’s doing, only for the hero he’s going up against to declare that he’s only destroying for the sake of destruction and has no intention behind it? It’s been happening since his introduction!

#pattering on the roof #char.🌧 shigaraki #this was brought on by a bunch of tiktoks btw skdjhfbvsdufh #once again disclaimer that i dont actually care how anyone writes shigaraki i just have opinions abt the trends in fandom #maybe ill do a lil thing for how shigaraki loves like i did bakugo idk idk #going to bed now good night

[makeste]

literally just another giant post of Bakugou faces.

so I did this last year, but I only got up to chapter 120 before I ran out of steam. happily, though, this left me with an additional 190 chapters’ worth of glorious gremlin faces to choose from for this year’s edition! which I figure I had better do, before tumblr finally pulls the plug on my poor sweet image limit.

so without further ado, happy birthday to Kacchan, and happy birthday to Kacchan’s asymmetrical HAH face where his eyes do the thing like ( ◣益◢).

why I like it: so this is from Kirishima’s flashback in chapter 133, where Kirishima was getting all down on himself because his quirk Only Does One Thing, and Kacchan was all “nah bro don’t worry about it because your One Thing is totally fucking rad, and you’re strong enough to withstand anything.” so that of course was incredibly sweet, and one of the few times we’ve seen him give an actual heartfelt pep talk without so much as a single insult thrown into the mix. but what really puts this scene over the top for me is the fact that you can see the ever-so-subtle hints of guilt and regret when he talks about All Might and Kamino. for just a moment, he gets this distant look in his eyes, and his expression turns soft and contemplative. basically this is a rare collector’s edition Kacchan face you will not find in many other places.

why I like it: because this frankly needs to happen in every damn fight until this kid finally gets it through his thick skull to ditch the mask so we can see every fantastic facial expression in full 4k glory. work with me here please Kacchan.

why I like it: because character growth!! this was our first big moment of post-DvK2 Kacchan development, and the payoff was well worth the wait. it only took him 166 chapters to realize that it’s hard to grow as a person if you’re determined to be a humongous dick to every single person you meet!! lmao, but it’s progress though.

why I like it: these two panels are criminally underrated. the way his face transforms when Deku gets the answer wrong dlkjfldk. this is easily one of the funniest subtle gags in the entire series.

why I like it: “hey Bakugou do you want to play in our band?” “fuck you, no.” “pretty please.” “fine, but I refuse to call it a band.” “well then what do you want to call it -- ” “MURDER.”

why I like it: GONNA MURDER EVERYONE BY PLAYING THE DRUMS!!!! SOMEHOW WE’VE SUCCESSFULLY COMPARTMENTALIZED THIS SCHOOL-SANCTIONED DISPLAY OF PERFORMING ARTS AS A DEATH MATCH. OH TO UNDERSTAND THE INNER WORKINGS OF THIS YOUNG MAN’S MIND.

why I like it: hah?! I love how he has to tilt his neck all the way back every single time he does this. he’s so cute I love him so much.

why I like it: somewhere around this point in the manga Kacchan decided to do away with being handsome and decided to just be a full-time gremlin in every single panel. this persisted for the next 90 chapters or so and he was very dedicated. I’m pretty sure he was going for vulgar and intimidating, but unfortunately for him he’s too inherently adorable and so the end result is just endearing and almost charming in its own way.

why I like it: this was from chapter 194 when Aizawa was announcing that they’d have a special guest for the Joint Training arc, and so Kacchan was all “BOY OH BOY A NEW ASS TO KICK.”

why I like it: more character development! and just look at that confidence! he’s fully recovered from his low point after Kamino and the provisional exam. he knows what he’s about now, and he is THRIVING. and once again you can see how his conviction inspires the people around him and makes them more determined. just, he is going to be such a good number one hero you guys.

why I like it: it’s the three little “!!!” lines hovering in the corner next to his head for me. “oh my god it’s All Might, All Might saw me being cool and Saving To Win and stuff, what’s he gonna say what do I do omg quick act natural.”

why I like it: QUICK HIDE YOUR FEELINGS!! WE CAN’T LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE. fjkdlsjklk

why I like it: this is his expression when he first sees Deku activate Blackwhip for the first time. it’s one of the few unguarded expressions of complete surprise that we’ve gotten from him and I love it thank you.

why I like it: classic asymmetrical HAH face. he truly has perfected this look. look at him, casually clinging to a pole for no reason other than to look dynamic. this boy truly cannot sit or stand or walk or do anything normally. he spent three months working his ass off to catch up to Deku and the others, and now that he finally has he’s filled with so much pent-up energy that he simply cannot hold it back anymore and he’s gotta climb a pole. he’s just gotta.

why I like it: because he is so fucking good at saving people now you guys, he’s like a whole-ass professional and shit, and yet it hasn’t changed who he is one single iota. he will save your life and he will SCREAM AT YOU WHILE DOING IT and you’ll sit there and be grateful goddammit.

why I like it: o noo he was caught unawares. All Might was all “I’m gonna have a dad moment and nobody can stop me” and he walked right up to him and put his hand on his head because he’s All Might and so what is he even gonna do about it. nothing, that’s what. you got played, Kacchan. outmaneuvered and outfoxed. all he can do is stand there and make that grumpy face he makes when he’s receiving unwanted affection (҂⌣̀_⌣́).

why I like it: more unwanted affection. now they’re even feeding him ffs. how could he let this happen. mm chicken.

why I like it: GREATEST ASYMETRICAL HAH?! FACE OF ALL TIME. out of all the people to befriend him against his will, Todoroki is by far the most confusing to him and it’s just so great.

why I like it: this is when Hawks is staring at him in chapter 244 because he fake-killed his mentor and stuff and he feels sorta guilty about it. but meanwhile Kacchan just thinks he’s trying to start some shit, and so he’s all “I WAS FASTER THAN YOU BACK THERE YOU KNOW” and Hawks is all “hahaha okay little buddy you just keep telling yourself that”, because as previously discussed Kacchan is too adorable to ever be intimidating.

why I like it: this is from 246 when he’s in the middle of arguing with Burnin’ and all of a sudden Endeavor calls to him and he’s just like o shit what’d I do.

why I like it: because Endeavor’s mentoring them and shit and he’s just casually sitting there eating his lunch like yeah. with his lil hamster cheeks lulz.

why I like it: the look that instantly became iconic. this panel cured me of the misconception that Bakugou “goes to bed at 8:30pm” Katsuki was a morning person. the truth is he loathes all times of the day equally.

why I like it: this one is a team effort because Deku’s faces are equally as good. I’m genuinely shocked that this family dinner with the Todorokis didn’t prematurely unlock Danger Sense. you can tell that he and Deku have a silent agreement to call a temporary truce on their rivalry for as long as they sit at this table as outsiders in this strange land. this is by far the most hazardous meal Bakugou has ever experienced, and yet the mapo tofu is too good to go to waste, so he’s just shoveling it down his throat trying to finish as much as possible before shit inevitably hits the fan.

why I like it: Kacchan is New Here so he doesn’t yet realize that if the Todorokis are spilling family secrets, there is always inevitably going to be someone listening in the shadows just outside the door.

why I like it: the battle with Ending was probably peak gremlin!Kacchan. like, we’ve had gremlin before and afterwards, but never quite to this same degree. Horikoshi really decided to push the limits of contorting this child’s face in the strangest ways.

why I like it: peak. gremlin.

why I like it: nothing to see here, just Kacchan quietly realizing after 252 chapters that he MIGHT have been just a BIT of a cartoonishly villainous asshole to Deku back at the beginning there ha ha ha oh god oh fuck.

why I like it: because he found the answer to What It Is That He Lacks, and he’s all cool and calm and infuriatingly secretive about it. it’s such a sudden and stark contrast to the gremlin faces he was making only moments earlier, and it makes this moment hit home that much more.

why I like it: because this is him being friends with Deku!! like for real though!! because he’s fucking around and insulting him and making weird faces and stuff, but it’s because in his mind That’s What Friends Do. they clown on each other and help each other train and shit. half an hour after this they’ll go down to the training gym and play Catch-A-Kacchan, and then he’ll quietly confess to All Might that he wants to atone. he may be a gremlin, but he’s a gremlin with layers goddammit.

why I like it: because this is right after TomurAFO shows up out of nowhere and scares the shit out of him and Deku and makes them see a terrifying death vision and stuff, and you can see how shaken up he is by it. he definitely understands how close they came to dying just then and he’s sobered the fuck up. this is the moment when it really sinks in that shit has gotten real. eight minutes from now he’ll move without thinking and save Deku’s life.

why I like it: hydro homies. nothing restores those electrolytes like good old Raquaius Sports Drink.

why I like it: because this panel was when it started to become clear that the real reason he grabbed this sports drink was to pretend like he was busy so he could act like he wasn’t interested in Deku’s training because god forbid the neighbors know that he actually cares.

why I like it: because the sideways glance!! and the fact that he doesn’t deny it!! in fact he does the opposite of denying it, and he basically starts pouring his heart out about how goddamn worried he actually is. he’s guilty and anxious and restless and this entire conversation is amazing.

why I like it: he looks so goddamn young here. when he finally stops scrunching up his face and putting on his usual tough guy act and for once allows his actual emotions to show on his face instead, the result is so damn striking. for once we got an entire conversation with no gremlin faces, because Horikoshi had to drop them completely in order to show just how serious he is here. which was incredibly effective btw.

why I like it: because he’s basically just fidgeting with the bottle now to avoid making eye contact with All Might because he just revealed a deep dark secret to him and he’s precariously vulnerable right now. that’s the body language of a kid who knows how badly he fucked up, and just wants to hear from someone else if it’s going to be okay, if he can still make it okay. he looks so small here.

why I like it: the worry lines under his eyes. the look of uncertainty and wanting to believe that what All Might says is true (“you’ll get a chance to talk eventually”). the hesitance to turn back and look at him, and the way he doesn’t dare until he finally gets that small bit of reassurance. All Might isn’t judging him. All Might understands him and understands where he’s coming from, and he’s giving him his blessing. he’s giving him a thumbs up and reassuring him that he sees the change in him and sees that he’s sincerely trying, and basically saying that he has faith that he and Deku will be able to work it out. and you can see that it means a lot.

why I like it: because this kid spent his entire internship with Jeanist doing nothing but bitching nonstop, and then later on when Jeanist went missing he was all tight-lipped about it because once again NOBODY CAN KNOW THAT WE CARE GODDAMMIT, and it was all very Classic Bakugou. but then Jeanist finally shows up again at Jakku, and we get this little moment of happy, smirky FUCK YEAH, I KNEW YOU WEREN’T DEAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE, and it’s just the best.

why I like it: HE’S SO UNABASHEDLY PROUD GOD BLESS HIM.

why I like it: because he nearly died and then he woke up here in the hospital two days later not knowing where anybody else is or whether they’re even still alive, and this, my friends. this is finally the moment. the moment where he was all FUCK IT, MAYBE WE CAN LET THE NEIGHBORS KNOW WE CARE AFTER ALL. character fucking development. you love to see it.

BONUS:

WHAT HAVE I BECOME, MY SWEETEST FRIEND. EVERYONE I KNOW GOES AWAY IN THE END.

happy birthday Katsuki. feel better sweetie. HORIKOSHI YOU BETTER TREAT HIM RIGHT I AM COUNTING ON YOU.

#bakugou katsuki #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bakugou meta #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[problematicpervertpod]

recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee 

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim 

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con 

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI, 

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations 

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10 

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better,  uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life,  rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two, 

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme),  FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) ,  I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray,  ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia,  roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart 

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love,  sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining,  these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10 

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent 

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers,  big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels,  would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.  

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+ 

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

#yaoi #manga #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #gay #lgbt #pornwhatplot #recs #book recs #manga recs #yaoi recs #ships #yandere #uke #seme

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

THE BOX IS NABOO

That’s it, I’m doing it, I’m writing that stupid meta I’ve had in the works for two and a half years, I’m sharing it with the world. I promised it for last Thursday, my poll was forever ago, but whatever! I’m writing that freaking thing.

(super duper long post, press j to skip)

Enter my rabbit hole.

First thing to establish: the Box makes no sense whatsoever in-universe.

((EDIT: Something I forgot to mention. IRL, the premise of a giant murder cube and the aesthetic - wall patterns, light designs, etc - of the episode come from the 1997 horror movie Cube, (see the episode’s wookieepedia page). However, while the two are very closely linked visually, the Box does not follow the movie structurally or narratively, as you can verify by simply reading the movie’s summary.))

Recap of the context for the "Box" episode (s4e17): Palpatine is planning his own kidnapping. It was never meant to succeed, and while the plan would obviously benefit him (making the Jedi look bad, pushing Anakin closer to the Dark Side, making Republic citizens more afraid -> more docile, etc...) his actual goal is never explained, and it’s weird that he’d go to such extreme lengths for results so minimal that we’re never told what they are.

So Palpatine asks Dooku to kidnap him at the Festival of Lights on Naboo. Dooku hires Moralo Eval to design a giant box-thingy to test bounty hunters to hire the best of them to kidnap Palpatine. Moralo then gets arrested to alert the Republic that something is afoot, and hires Cad Bane to break him out. Obi-Wan - undercover to learn Moralo’s plan - goes with them. They evade capture and go to Serenno, and Bane and Obi-Wan have to pass the box-thingy test. The level of brainkarked logic here... Truly on par with Megamind, Gru and Heinz Doofenshmirtz.

Setting aside the insane plot holes and utterly nonsensical behavior of the villains, the Box itself is moronic from a plot perspective. It’s insanely complex, obviously incredibly expensive and would have taken months (more like years but it’s a short war) to make when it’s not even needed for the dastardly plot! Just hire some guys who have already proven themselves against Jedi! Throw cash at Bane and Embo and a few others! Maybe attack them with your saber and see how they do! 

And after all that, Dooku still ends up trying to kidnap Palpatine on his own. I can’t even... 

So why does the Box exist? Well, apart from being a nerdy callback to Cube, giving us a good thrill and being generally awesome to look at, it has actual narrative purpose within the SW universe.

The box is Naboo.

What the Box lacks in plot relevance, it makes up for with its heavily symbolic meaning. It very closely follows Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon’s experiences on Naboo - but only certain parts, which I’ll explain later.

We start with clean, sterile environments, SW’s favored way of showing villainy.

Then we have the protagonists locked in a room as dioxis, a poison gas, pours in.

And then they escape... this way.

(Okay, here the shaft is down, not up. And it’s not a ventilation shaft per say, it’s the designed escape route. Same difference).

We then skip most of TPM (namely, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon discovering the droid army, finding Padmé, leaving Naboo, landing on Tatooine, going to Coruscant, etc, etc) to come back to Naboo and go directly to the lightsabers and catwalks.

(Note: in both scenes, Obi-Wan has to propel himself from a catwalk.)

In TPM and TCW, the catwalks are immediately followed by ray shields

And we finally end with the last scenes. Now, they don’t look the same but they are structurally identical. 

Obi-Wan is faced with a challenge unsuited for his abilities (facing Darth Maul // shooting three moving targets when he’s far more skilled with a blade than a blaster) on a narrow space above a melting pit/pit of fire. 

He first watches someone die failing to complete the task...

 ... and has to do it himself, faring much better than expected (holding his own against Maul // shooting all the targets easily). 

He then almost falls to his death and gets saved unexpectedly.

And then there’s the final showdown.

In both scenes, Obi-Wan is angry. And in TCW Dooku eggs him on, banking on his anger. (More on that later.) In both cases though, he centers himself and is able to overcome both his opponent and his own unbalance. But in TCW, he doesn’t go for the kill, because he doesn’t need to. 

The Box, as a literal character-explorator ex-machina, thus shows us Obi-Wan’s growth.  

In TPM, Obi-Wan follows Qui-Gon’s lead. In TCW, he is the leader. He identifies the gas, makes the plans. He doesn’t fall from catwalks anymore - he runs atop moving ones. He doesn’t stay stuck behind ray-shields, he finds the solution. (Btw, how did Moralo know what blood type Derrown the Exterminator was? There was a 50% chance of him dying - thus killing all of the bounty hunters. Was that an acceptable outcome? TCW I need answers!) He doesn’t slay his foes, because he’s become powerful enough, skilled enough and wise enough to survive (and win) without needing to kill.

He’s grown - and, even more interestingly, he’s also stayed the same. In the previous episodes, we see some of the dark aspects of Obi-Wan. How he - like all Force-wielders, all people - could lose himself if he stopped maintaining absolute control.

But in the Box, surrounded by the worst criminals of the Galaxy, the most ruthless, worthless people, he’s still kind and tries his best to keep them alive.

The Box is a reminder and a reassurance for the audience that Obi-Wan Kenobi is still there under Rako’s face. He hasn’t lost his compassion, his restrain. He’s still a Jedi. And he’s an awesome, badass one. 

And now, for what it tells us about Dooku! 

It’s much shorter, don’t worry. Basically, Dooku considers that the best way to pick “the best of the best” of the deadliest people in the Galaxy is making them go through what killed his Padawan. There, I’ve broken your hearts, you’re welcome. 

More seriously, Dooku is a manipulative ass. It’s pretty clear that he knows Rako is Obi-Wan, or at the very least suspects it. 

He has an interesting reaction upon learning Rako’s identity, he keeps praising him despite his usual distaste for low-lifes, he smirks secretively after Eval says “I’ll show you who’s weak” (not included there because it’s a close-up of Dooku’s lips and no one wants to see that) and he tells Rako he’s very disappointed when he doesn’t finish off Eval.

[Later]

(Look at this smug asshole - I can’t. YOUR GRANDSON IS THE BEST, WE KNOW, STOP ACTIVELY RUINING HIS LIFE ALREADY.)

(Dooku... why...)

Now obviously Dooku couldn’t have made the Box specifically for Obi-Wan, because it would have to have been designed months before the Council ever decided to send Obi-Wan undercover, but he has no qualms trying to use it to push Obi-Wan to the Dark Side. Ffs Dooku, making your spiritual grandson relive one of the most traumatic events of his life on the off chance that he’ll join you (and desecrate his Master’s memory in doing so) is not okay!

Final tidbits of analysis: I mentioned that not all of TPM is mirrored in the Box. What’s omitted is the droids (even though Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fight B1′s and droidekas between the dioxis and the ventilation shafts) and anything pertaining to Sidious (all the political stuff on Coruscant). You’ll also note that the fake lightsabers are orange.

=> The Box distances itself from anything that connects Dooku to Naboo. Red lightsabers are the trademark of the Sith, so they’re not used. The bounty hunters will be facing Jedi, so logically the fake sabers should be green or blue - and yet they’re orange, the color closest to red without being red. It fits with Dooku’s special brand of dishonesty - he always tells bits of the real story but twists them just enough to absolve himself of any fault and to justify his choices. 

(”We can destroy the Sith” -> could maybe destroy Sidious with Obi-Wan, but fails to mention he’s a Sith Lord himself; “the Viceroy came to me for help, that’s why I’m attacking the Republic” -> political idealism is a small part of it, but fails to mention he’s Sidious’ underling and is playing the Viceroy like a fiddle; “Qui-Gon would have joined me” -> maybe, still fails to mention he’s working for the man who ordered Qui-Gon’s death; “I told you everything you needed to know” -> debatable, never said that Palps was Sidious; “Sifo-Dyas understood, that’s why he helped me” -> partly true, doesn’t admit to killing Sifo-Dyas right after getting his help)

So we have a twisted version of Naboo, droid-free (as droids are now irrevocably associated with Dooku, even if that wasn’t the case in TPM) and with sabers that aren’t quite red. Keep in mind that Dooku had already fallen by TPM. (We know this because he killed Sifo-Dyas and created the Clone Army - part of Sidious’ plan - when Valorum was still Chancellor, as per the episode The Lost One.) That means Dooku was (in)directly complicit in Qui-Gon’s death. And the Box doesn’t (=refuses to?) acknowledge that. 

(Also omitted in the Box are the Gungans and Tatooine. It makes sense, because Dooku probably wouldn’t have the full details regarding those parts of Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan’s missio as they weren’t as public, and would see them as irrelevant if he did. He utterly despises Anakin, and Gungans are the type of people he always dismisses out of hand). 

Anyway, that’s my two cents about the Box. To quote Lucas...

“It’s like poetry. It rhymes.”

Thanks to @lethebantroubadour @impossiblybluebox​ @nonbinarywithaknife @ytoz​ and @kaitie85386​ for voting for this one. Next up is a compilation of the Jedi being casually tactile with each other (because they’re a warm and affectionate culture, dammit).

Also thanks to @laciefuyu​ for giving me gifs I ended up not using ^^; you rock anyway!

#meta #my meta #the box #deception arc #rako hardeen #rako hardeen arc #naboo #obi-wan kenobi #count dooku #cad bane #moralo eval #darth sidious

[insanehobbit]

a twenty-five thousand word post about a twenty-three year old “debate”

As time goes on, I’m baffled that it remains a commonly held opinion that:

The LTD remains unresolved

SE is deliberately playing coy, and are (or have been) afraid to resolve it.

To me, the answer is as clear as day, and yet seeing so many people acting as if it’s a question that remains unanswered makes me wonder if I’m the crazy one.

So I am going to try to articulate my thought process here, not because I expect to change any hearts and minds, but more to get these thoughts out of my head and onto a page so I can finally read a book and/or watch reruns of Shark Tank in peace.

To start off, there are two categories of argument (that are among, if not the most widely used lines of argument) that I will try NOT to engage with:

1) Quotes from Ultimania or developer interviews - while they’re great for easter eggs and behind-the-scenes info, if a guidebook is required to understand key plot points, you have fundamentally failed as a storyteller. Now the question of which character wants to bone whom is often something that can be relegated to a guidebook, but in the case of FF7, you would be watching two very different stories play out depending on who Cloud ends up with.

Of course, the Ultimanias do spell this out clearly, but luckily for us, SE are competent enough storytellers that we can find the answer by looking at the text alone.

2) Arguments about character actions/motivations — specifically, I’m talking about stuff like “Cloud made this face in this scene, which means be must be [insert whatever here].”

Especially when it comes to the LTD, these tend to focus on individual actions, decontextualizing them from their role in the narrative as a whole. LTDers often try to put themselves in the character’s shoes to suss out what they may be thinking and feeling in those moments. These arguments will be colored by personal experiences, which will inevitably vary.

Let’s take for example Cloud’s behavior in Advent Children. One may argue that it makes total sense given that he’s dying and fears failing the ones he loves. Another may argue that there’s no way that he would run unless he was deeply unhappy and pining after a lost love. Well, you’ll probably just be talking over each other until the cows come home. Such is the problem with trying to play armchair therapist with a fictional character. It’s not like we can ask Cloud himself why he did what he did (and even if we could, he’s not the exactly the most reliable narrator in the world). Instead, in trying to understand his motivations, we are left with no choice but to draw comparisons with our own personal experiences, those of our friends, or other works of media we’ve consumed. Any interpretation would be inherently subjective and honestly, a futile subject for debate.

There’s nothing wrong with drawing personal connections with fictional characters of course. That is the purpose of art after all. They are vessels of empathy. But when we’re talking about what is canon, it doesn’t matter what we take away. What matters is the creators’ intent.

Cloud, Tifa and Aerith are not your friends Bob, Alice and Maude. They are characters created by Square Enix. Real people can behave in a variety of different ways if they found themselves in the situations faced by our dear trio; however, FF7 characters are not sentient creatures. Everything they do or say is dictated by the developers to serve the story they are trying to tell.

So what do we have left then? Am I asking you, dear reader, to just trust me, anonymous stranger on the Internet, when I tell you #clotiiscanon. Well, in a sense, yes, but more seriously, I’m going to try to suss out what the creator’s intent is based on what is, and more importantly, what isn’t, on screen.

Instead of putting ourselves in the shoes of the characters, let’s try putting ourselves in the shoes of the creators. So the question would then be, if the intent is X, then what purpose does character Y or scene Z serve?

The story of FF7 isn’t the immutable word of God etched in a stone tablet. For every scene that made it into the final game, there are dozens of alternatives that were tossed aside. Let us also not forget the crude economics of popular storytelling. Spending resources on one particular aspect of the game may mean something entirely unrelated will have to be cut for time. Thus, the absence of a particular character/scenario is an alternative in itself. So with all these options at their disposal, why is the scene we see before us the one that made it into the final cut? — Before we dive in, I also want to define two broad categories of narrative: messy and clean.

Messy narratives are ones I would define as stories that try to illuminate something about the human condition, but may not leave the audience feeling very good by the end of it. The protagonists, while not always anti-heroes, don’t always exhibit the kind of growth we’d like, don’t always learn their lessons, probably aren’t the best role models. The endings are often ambivalent, ambiguous, and leaves room for the audience to take away from it what they will. This is the category I would put art films and prestige cable dramas.

Clean narratives are where I would categorize most popular forms of entertainment. Not that these characters necessarily lack nuance, but whatever flaws are portrayed are something to be overcome by the end of story. The protagonists are characters you’re supposed to want to root for

Final Fantasy as a series would fall under the ‘clean’ category. Sure, many of the protagonists start out as jerks, but they grow through these flaws and become true heroes by the end of their journey. Hell, a lot of the time even the villains are redeemed. They want you to like the characters you’re spending a 40+ hr journey with. Their depictions can still be realistic, but they will become the most idealized versions of themselves by the end of their journeys.

This is important to establish, because we can then assume that it is not SE’s intent to make any of their main characters come off pathetic losers or unrepentant assholes. Now whether or not they succeed in that endeavor is another question entirely.

FF7 OG or The dumbest thought experiment in the world

With that one thousand word preamble out of the way, let’s finally take a look at the text. In lieu of going through the OG’s story beat by beat, let’s try this thought experiment:

Imagine it’s 1996, and you’re a development executive at what was then Squaresoft. The plucky, young development team has the first draft of what will become the game we know as Final Fantasy VII. Like the preceding entries in the series, it’s a world-spanning action adventure RPG, with a key subplot being the epic tragic romance between its hero and heroine, Cloud and Aerith.

They ask you for your notes.

(For the sake of your sanity and mine, let’s limit our hypothetical notes to the romantic subplot)

Disc 1 - everything seems to be on the right track. Nice meet-cute, lots of moments developing the relationship between our pair. Creating a love triangle with this Tifa character is an interesting choice, but she’s a comparatively minor character so she probably won’t be a real threat and will find her happiness elsewhere by the end of the game. You may note that they’re leaning a bit too much into Tifa and Cloud’s past. Especially the childhood promise flashback early in the game — cute scene, but a distraction from main story and main pairing — fodder for the chopping block. You may also bump on the fact that Aerith is initially attracted to Cloud because he reminds her of an ex, but this is supposed to be a more mature FF. That can be an obstacle they overcome as Aerith gets to know the real Cloud.

Aerith dies, but it is supposed to be a tragic romance after all. Death doesn’t have to be the end for this relationship, especially since Aerith is an Ancient after all.

It’s when Disc 2 starts that things go off the rails. First off, it feels like an awfully short time for Cloud to be grieving the love of his life, though it’s somewhat understandable. This story is not just a romance. There are other concerns after all, Cloud’s identity crisis for one. Though said identity crisis involves spending a lot of time developing his relationship with another woman. It’s one thing for Cloud and Tifa to be from the same hometown, but does she really need to play such an outsized role in his internal conflict? This might give the player the wrong impression.

You get to the Northern Crater, and it just feels all wrong. Cloud is more or less fine after the love of his life is murdered in front of his eyes but has a complete mental breakdown to the point that he’s temporarily removed as a playable character because Tifa loses faith in him??? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Oh, but it only gets worse from here. With Cloud gone, the POV switches to Tifa and her feelings for him and her desire to find him. The opening of the game is also recontextualized when you learn the only reason that Cloud was part of the first Reactor mission that starts the game is because Tifa found him and wanted to keep an eye on him.

Then you get to Mideel and the alarm bells are going off. Tifa drops everything, removing her from the party as well, to take care of Cloud while he’s a catatonic vegetable? Not good. Very not good. This level of selfless devotion is going to make Cloud look like a total asshole when he rejects her in favor of Aerith. Speaking of Aerith, she uh…hasn’t been mentioned for some time. In fact, her relationship with Cloud has remained completely static after Disc 1, practically nonexistent, while his with Tifa has been building and building. Developing a rival relationship that then needs to be dismantled rather than developing the endgame relationship doesn’t feel like a particularly valuable use of time and resources.

By the time you get to the Lifestream scene, you’re about ready to toss the script out of the window. Here’s the emotional climax of the entire game, where Cloud’s internal conflict is finally resolved, and it almost entirely revolves around Tifa? Rather than revisiting the many moments of mental anguish we experienced during the game itself — featuring other characters, including let’s say, Aerith — it’s about a hereto unknown past that only Tifa has access to? Not only that, but we learn that the reason Cloud wanted to join SOLDIER was to impress Tifa, and the reason he adopted his false persona was because he was so ashamed that he couldn’t live up to the person he thought Tifa wanted him to be? Here, we finally get a look into the inner life of one half of our epic couple and…it entirely revolves around another woman??

Cloud is finally his real self, and hey, it looks like he finally remembers Aerith, that’s at least a step in the right direction. Though still not great. With his emotional arc already resolved, any further romantic developments is going to feel extraneous and anticlimactic. It just doesn’t feel like there’s enough time to establish that:

Cloud’s romantic feelings for Tifa (which were strong enough to launch his hero’s journey) have transformed into something entirely platonic in the past few days/weeks

Cloud’s feelings for Aerith that he developed while he was pretending to be someone else (and not just any someone, but Aerith’s ex of all people) are real.

This isn’t a romantic melodrama after all. There’s still a villain to kill and a world to save.

Cloud does speak of Aerith wistfully, and even quite personally at times, yet every time he talks about her, he’s surrounded by the other party members. A scene or two where he can grapple with his feelings for her on his own would help. Her ghost appearing in the Sector 5 Church feels like a great opportunity for this to happen, but he doesn’t interact with it at all. What gives? Missed opportunity after missed opportunity.

The night before the final battle, Cloud asks the entire party to find what they’re fighting for. This feels like a great (and perhaps the last) opportunity to establish that for Cloud, it’s in Aerith’s memory and out of his love for her. He could spend those hours alone in any number of locations associated with her — the Church, the Temple of the Ancients, the Forgotten City.

Instead — none of those happens. Instead, once again, it’s Cloud and Tifa in another scene where they’re the only two characters in the scene. You’re really going to have Cloud spend what could very well be the last night of his life with another woman? With a fade to black that strongly implies they slept together? In one fell swoop, you’re portraying Cloud as a guy who not only betrays the memory of his lost love, but is also incredibly callous towards the feelings of another woman by taking advantage of her vulnerability. Why are we rooting for him to succeed again?

Cloud and the gang finally defeat Sephiroth, and Aerith guides him back into the real world. Is he finally explicitly stating that he’s searching for her (though they’ve really waited until the last minute to do so), but again, why is Tifa in this scene? Shouldn’t it just be Cloud and Aerith alone? Why have Tifa be there at all? Why have her and her alone of all the party members be the one waiting for Cloud? Do you need to have Tifa there to be rejected while Cloud professes his unending love for Aerith? It just feels needlessly cruel and distracts from what should be the sole focus of the scene, the love between Cloud and Aerith.

What a mess.

You finish reading, and since it is probably too late in the development process to just fire everyone, you offer a few suggestions that will clarify the intended romance while the retaining the other plot points/general themes of the game.

Here they are, ordered by scale of change, from minor to drastic:

Option 1 would be to keep most of the story in tact, but rearrange the sequence of events so that the Lifestream sequence happens before Aerith’s death. That way, Cloud is his true self and fully aware of his feelings for both women before Aerith’s death. That way, his past with Tifa isn’t some ticking bomb waiting to go off in the second half of the game. That development will cease at the Lifestream scene. Cloud will realize the affection he held for her as a child is no longer the case. He is grateful for the past they shared, but his future is with Aerith. He makes a clear choice before that future is taken away from him with her death. The rest of the game will go on more or less the same (with the Highwind scene being eliminated, of course) making it clear, that avenging the death of his beloved is one of, if not the, primary motivation for him wanting to defeat Sephiroth.

The problem with this “fix” is that a big part of the reason that Aerith gets killed is because of Cloud’s identity crisis. If said crisis is resolved, the impact of her death will be diminished, because it would feel arbitrary rather than something that stems from the consequences of Cloud’s actions. More of the story will need to be reconceived so that this moment holds the same emotional weight.

Another problem is why the Lifestream scene needs to exist at all. Why spend all that time developing the backstory for a relationship that will be moot by the end of the game? It makes Tifa feel like less of a character and more of a plot device, who becomes irrelevant after she services the protagonist’s character development and then has none of her own. That’s no way to treat one of the main characters of your game.

Option 2 would be to re-imagine Tifa’s character entirely. You can keep some of her history with Cloud in tact, but expand her backstory so she is able to have a satisfactory character arc outside of her relationship with Cloud. You could explore the five years in her life since the Nibelheim incident. Maybe she wasn’t in Midgar the whole time. Maybe, like Barret, she has her own Corel, and maybe reconciling with her past there is the climax of her emotional arc as opposed to her past with Cloud. For Cloud too, her importance needs to be diminished. She can be one of the people who help him find his true self in the Lifestream, but not the only person. There’s no reason the other people he’s met on his journey can’t be there. Thus their relationship remains somewhat important, but their journeys are not so entwined that it distracts from Cloud and Aerith’s romance.

Option 3 would be to really lean into the doomed romance element of Cloud and Aerith’s relationship. Have her death be the cause of his mental breakdown, and have Aerith be the one in the Lifestream who is able to put his mind back together and bring him back to the realm of consciousness. After he emerges, he has the dual goal of defeating Sephiroth and trying to reunite with Aerith. In the end, in order to do the former, he has to relinquish the latter. He makes selfless choice. He makes the choice that resonates the overall theme of the game. It’s a bittersweet but satisfying ending. Cloud chooses to honor her memory and her purpose over the chance to physically bring her back. In this version of the game, the love triangle serves no purpose. There’s no role for Tifa at all.

Okay, we can be done with this strained counterfactual. What I’ve hopefully illustrated is that while developers had countless opportunities to solidify Cloud/Aerith as the canon couple in Discs 2 and 3 of the game, they instead chose a different route each and every time. What should also be clear is that the biggest obstacle standing in their way is not Aerith’s death, but the fact that Tifa exists.

At least in the form she takes in the final game, as a playable character and at the very least, the 3rd most important character in game’s story. She is not just another recurring NPC or an antagonist. Her love for Cloud is not going to be treated like a mere trifle or obstacle. If Cloud/Aerith was supposed to be the endgame ship, there would be no need for a love triangle and no need to include Tifa in the game at all. Death is a big enough obstacle, developing Cloud’s relationship with Tifa would only distract from and diminish his romance with Aerith.

I think this is something the dead enders understand intuitively, even more so than many Cloti shippers. Which is why some of them try to dismiss Tifa’s importance in the story so that she becomes a minor supporting character at best, or denigrate her character to the point that she becomes an actual villain. The Seifer to a Squall, the Seymour to a Tidus, hell even a Quistis to a Rinoa, they know how to deal with, but a Tifa Lockhart? As she is actually depicted in Final Fantasy VII? They have no playbook for that, and thus they desperately try to squeeze her into one of these other roles.

Let’s try another thought experiment, and see what would to other FF romances if we inserted a Tifa Lockhart-esque character in the middle of them.

FFXV is a perfect example because it features the sort of tragic love beyond death romance that certain shippers want Cloud and Aerith to be. Now, did I think FFXV was a good game? No. Did I think Noctis/Luna was a particularly well-developed romance? Also no. Did I have any question in my mind whatsoever that they were the canon relationship? Absolutely not.

Is this because they kiss at the end? Well sure, that helps, but also it’s because the game doesn’t spend the chapters after Luna’s death developing Noctis’ relationship with another woman. If Noctis/Luna had the same sort of development as Cloud/Aerith, then after Luna dies, Iris would suddenly pop in and play a much more prominent role. The game would flashback to her past and her relationship with Noctis. And it would be through his relationship with Iris that Noctis understands his duty to become king or a crystal or whatever the fuck that game was about. Iris is by Noctis’ side through the final battle, and when he ascends the throne in that dreamworld or whatever. There, Luna finally shows up again. Iris is still in the frame when Noctis tells her something like ‘Oh sorry, girl, I’ve been in love with Luna all along,” before he kisses Luna and the game ends.

(a very real scene from a very good game)

Come on. It would be utterly ludicrous and an utter disservice to every character involved, yet that is essentially the argument Cloud/Aerith shippers are making. SE may have made some pretty questionable storytelling decisions in the past, but they aren’t that bad at this.

Or in FFVIII, it would be like reordering the sequence of events so that Squall remembers that he grew up in an orphanage with all the other kids after Rinoa falls into a coma. And while Rinoa is out of commission, instead of Quistis gracefully bowing out after realizing she had mistaken her feelings of sisterly affection for love, it becomes Quistis’ childhood relationship with Squall that allows him to remember his past and re-contextualizes the game we’ve played thus far, so that the player realizes that it was actually Quistis who was his motivation all along. Then after this brief emotional detour, his romance with Rinoa would continue as usual. Absolutely absurd.

The Final Fantasy games certainly have their fair share of plot holes, but they’ve never whiffed on a romance this badly.

A somewhat more serious character analysis of the OG

What then is Tifa’s actual role in the story of FFVII? Her character is intricately connected to Cloud’s. In fact, they practically have the same arc, though Tifa’s is rather understated compared to his. She doesn’t adopt a false persona after all. For both of them, the flaw that they must learn to overcome over the course of the game is their fear of confronting the truth of their past. Or to put it more crudely, if they’re not lying, they’re at the very least omitting the truth. Cloud does so to protect himself from his fear of being exposed as a failure. Tifa does so at the expense of herself, because she fears the truth will do more harm than good. They’re two sides of the same coin. Nonetheless, their lying has serious ramifications.

The past they’re both afraid to confront is of course the Nibelheim Incident from five years ago. Thus, the key points in their emotional journeys coincide with the three conflicting Nibelheim flashbacks depicted in the game: Cloud’s false memory in Kalm, Sephiroth’s false vision in the Northern Crater, and the truth in the Lifestream.

Before they enter the Lifestream, both Cloud and Tifa are at the lowest of their lows. Cloud has had a complete mental breakdown and is functionally a vegetable. Tifa has given up everything to take care of Cloud as she feels responsible for his condition. If he doesn’t recover, she may never find peace.

With nothing left to lose, they both try to face the past head on. For Cloud, it’s a bit harder. At the heart of all this confusion, is of course, the Nibelheim Incident. How does Cloud know all these things he shouldn’t if Tifa doesn’t remember seeing him there? The emotional climax for both Cloud and Tifa, and arguably the game as a whole, is the moment the Shinra grunt removes his helmet to reveal that Cloud was there all along.

Tifa is the only character who can play this role for Cloud. It’s not like she a found a videotape in the Lifestream labeled ‘Nibelheim Incident - REAL’ and voila, Cloud is fixed. No, she is the only one who can help him because she is the only person who lived through that moment. No one else could make Cloud believe it. You could have Aerith or anyone else trying to tell him what actually happened, but why would he believe it anymore than the story Sephiroth told him at the Northern Crater?

With Tifa, it’s different. Not only was she physically there, but she’s putting as much at risk in what the truth may reveal. She’s not just a plot device to facilitate Cloud’s character development. The Lifestream sequence is as much the culmination of her own character arc. If it goes the wrong way, “Cloud” may find out that he’s just a fake after all, and Tifa may learn that boy she thought she’d been on this journey with had died years ago. That there’s no one left from her past, that it was all in her head, that she’s all alone. Avoiding this truth is a comfort, but in this moment, they’re both putting themselves on the line. Being completely vulnerable in front of the person they’re most terrified of being vulnerable with.

The developers have structured Cloud and Tifa’s character arcs so that the crux is a moment where the other is literally the only person who could provide the answer they need. Without each other, as far as the story is concerned, Cloud and Tifa would remain incomplete.

Aerith’s character arc is a different beast entirely. She is the closest we have to the traditional Campbellian Hero. She is the Chosen One, the literal last of her kind, who has been resisting the call to adventure until she can no longer. The touchstones of her character arc are the moments she learns more about her Cetra past and comes to terms with her role in protecting the planet - namely Cosmo Canyon, the Temple of the Ancients and the Forgotten City.

How do hers and Cloud’s arcs intersect? When it comes to the Nibelheim incident, she is a merely a spectator (at least during the Kalm flashback, as for the other two, she is uh…deceased). Cloud attacking her at the Temple of the Ancients, which results in her running to the Forgotten City alone and getting killed by Sephiroth, certainly exacerbates his mental deterioration, but it is by no means a turning point in his arc the way the Northern Crater is.

As for Cloud’s role in Aerith’s arc, their meeting is quite important in that it sets forth the series of events that leads her to getting captured by Shinra and thus meeting “Sephiroth” and wanting to learn more about the Cetra. It’s the inciting incident if we’re going to be really pedantic about it, yet Aerith’s actual character development is not dependent on her relationship with Cloud. It is about her communion with her Cetra Ancestry and the planet.

To put it in other terms, all else being the same, Aerith could still have a satisfying character arc had Cloud not crashed down into her Church. Sure, the game would look pretty different, but there are other ways for her to transform from a flirty, at times frivolous girl to an almost Christ-like figure who accepts the burden of protecting the planet.

Such is not the case for Cloud and Tifa. Their character arcs are built around their shared past and their relationship with one another. Without Tifa, you would have to rewrite Cloud’s character entirely. What was his motivation for joining SOLDIER? How did he get on that AVALANCHE mission in the first place? Who can possibly know him well enough to put his mind back together after it falls apart? If the answer to all these questions is the same person, then congratulations, you’ve just reverse engineered Tifa Lockhart.

Tifa fares a little better. Without Cloud, she would be a sad, sweet character who never gets the opportunity to reconcile with the trauma of her past. Superficially, a lot would be the same, but she would ultimately be quite static and all the less interesting for it.

Let’s also take a brief gander at Tifa’s role after the Lifestream sequence. At this point in the game, both Tifa and Cloud’s emotional arcs are essentially complete. They are now the most idealized versions of themselves, characters the players are meant to admire and aspire to. However they are depicted going forward, it would not be the creator’s intent for their actions to be perceived in a negative light.

A few key moments standout, ones that would not be included if the game was intended to end with any other romantic pairing or with Cloud’s romantic interest left ambiguous:

The Highwind scene, which I’ve gone over above. It doesn’t matter if you get the Low Affection or High Affection version. It would not reflect well on either Cloud or Tifa if he chose to spend what could be his last night alive with a woman whose feelings he did not reciprocate.

Before the final battle with Sephiroth, the party members scream out the reasons they’re fighting. Barret specifically calls out AVALANCHE, Marlene and Dyne, Red XIII specifically calls out his Grandpa, and Tifa specifically calls out Cloud. You are not going to make one of Tifa’s last moments in the game be her pining after a guy who has no interest in her. Not when you could easily have her mention something like her past, her hometown or hell even AVALANCHE and Marlene like Barret. If Tifa’s feelings for Cloud are meant to be unrequited, then it would be a character flaw that would be dealt with long before the final battle (see: Quistis in FF8 or Eowyn in the Lord of the Rings). They would not still be on display at moment like this.

Tifa being the only one there when Cloud jumps into the Lifestream to fight Sephiroth for the last time, and Tifa being the only one there when he emerges. She is very much playing the traditional partner/spouse role here, when you could easily have the entire party present or no one there at all. There is clearly something special about her relationship with Cloud that sets her apart from the other party members.

Once again, let’s look at the “I think I can meet her there moment.” And let’s put side the translation (the Japanese is certainly more ambiguous, and it’s not like the game had any trouble having Cloud call Aerith by her name before this). If Cloud was really expressing his desire to reunite with Aerith, and thus his rejection of Tifa, then the penultimate scene of this game is one that involves the complete utter and humiliation of one of its main characters since Tifa’s reply would indicate she’s inviting herself to a romantic reunion she has no part in. Not only that, but to anyone who is not Cl*rith shipper, the protagonist of the game is going to come off as a callous asshole. That cannot possibly be the creator’s intention. They are competent enough to depict an act of love without drawing attention to the party hurt by that love.

What then could possibly be the meaning? Could it possibly be Cloud trying to comfort Tifa by trying to find a silver lining in what appears to be their impending death? That this means they may get to see their departed loved ones again, including their mutual friend, Aerith? (I will note that Tifa talks about Aerith as much, if not even more than Cloud, after her death). Seems pretty reasonable to me, this being an interpretation of the scene that aligns with the overall themes of the game, and casts every character in positive light during this bittersweet moment.

Luckily enough, we have an entire fucking Compilation to find out which is right.

But before we get there, I’m sure some of you (lol @ me thinking anyone is still reading this) are asking, if Cloti is canon, then why is there a love triangle at all? Why even hint at the possibility of a romance between Cloud and Aerith? Wouldn’t that also be a waste of time and resources if they weren’t meant to be canon?

Well, there are two very important reasons that have nothing to do with romance and everything to do with two of the game’s biggest twists:

Aerith initially being attracted to Cloud’s similarities to Zack/commenting on the uncanniness of said similarities is an organic way to introduce the man Cloud’s pretending to be. Without it, the reveal in the Lifestream would fall a bit flat. The man he’s been emulating all along would just be some sort of generic hero rather than a person whose history and deeds already encountered during the course of the game. Notably for this to work, the game only has to establish Aerith’s attraction to Cloud.

To build the player’s attachment to Aerith before her death/obscure the fact that she’s going to die. With the technological limitations of the day, the only way to get the player to interact with Aerith is through the player character (AKA Cloud), and adding an element of choice (AKA the Gold Saucer Date mechanic) makes the player even more invested. This then elevates Aerith’s relationship with Cloud over hers with any other character. At the same time, because her time in the game is limited, Cloud ends up interacting with Aerith more than any of the other characters, at least in Disc 1. The choice to make many of these interactions flirty/romantic also toys with player expectations. One does not expect the hero’s love interest to die halfway through the game. The game itself also spends a bit of time teasing the romance, albeit, largely in superficial ways like other characters commenting on their relationship or Cait Sith reading their love fortune at the Temple of the Ancients. Yet, despite the quantity of their personal interactions, Cloud and Aerith never display any moments of deep love or devotion that one associates with a Final Fantasy romance. They never have the time. What the game establishes then is the potential of a romance rather than the romance itself. Aerith’s death hurts because of all that lost potential. There so many things she wanted to do, so many places she wanted to see that will never happen because her life is cut short. Part of what is lost, of course, is the potential of her romance with Cloud.

This creative choice is a lot more controversial since it elevates subverting audience expectations over character, and understandably leads to some player confusion. What’s the point of all this set up if there’s not going to be a pay off? Well, that is kind of the point. Death is frustrating because of all the unknowns and what-ifs. But, I suppose some people just can’t accept that fact in a game like this.

One last note on the OG before we move on: Even though this from an Ultimania, since we’re talking about story development and creator intent, I thought it was relevant to include: the fact that Aerith was the sole heroine in early drafts of the game is not the LTD trump card so people think it is. Stories undergo radical changes through the development process. More often than not, there are too many characters, and characters are often combined or removed if their presence feels redundant or confusing.

In this case, the opposite happened. Tifa was added later in the development process as a second heroine. Let’s say that Aerith was the Last Ancient and the protagonist’s sole love interest in this early draft of Final Fantasy VII. In the game that was actually released, that role was split between two characters (and last I checked, Tifa is not the last of a dying race), and Aerith dies halfway through the game, so what does that suggest about how Aerith’s role may have changed in the final product? Again, if Aerith was intended to be Cloud’s love interest, Tifa simply would not exist.

A begrudging analysis of our favorite straight-to-DVD sequel

Let’s move onto the Compilation. And in doing so, completely forget about the word vomit that’s been written above. While it’s quite clear to me now that there’s no way in hell the developers would have intended the last scene in the game to be both a confirmation of Cloud’s love for Aerith and his rejection of Tifa, in my younger and more vulnerable years, I wasn’t so sure. In fact, this was the prevailing interpretation back in the pre-Compilation Dark Ages. Probably because of a dubious English translation of the game and a couple of ambiguous cameos in Final Fantasy Tactics and Kingdom Hearts were all we  had to go on.

How then did the official sequel to Final Fantasy VII change those priors?

Two years after the events of the game, Cloud is living as a family with Tifa and two kids rather than scouring the planet for a way to be reunited with Aerith. Shouldn’t the debate be well and over with that? Obviously not, and it’s not just because people were being obstinate. Part of the confusion stems from Advent Children itself, but I would argue that did not come from an intent to play coy/keep Cloud’s romantic desires ambiguous, but rather a failure of execution of his character arc.

Now I wasn’t the biggest fan of the film when I first watched a bootlegged copy I downloaded off LimeWire in 2005, and I like it even less now, but I better understand its failures, given its unique position as a sequel to a beloved game and the cornerstone of launching the Compilation.

The original game didn’t have such constraints on its storytelling. Outside of including a few elements that make it recognizable as a Final Fantasy (Moogles, Chocobos, Summons, etc.) and being a good enough game to be a financial success, the developers pretty much had free rein in terms of what story they wanted to tell, what characters they would use to tell it, and how long it took for them to tell said story.

With Advent Children, telling a good story was not the sole or even primary goal. Instead, it had to:

Do some fanservice: The core audience is going to be the OG fanbase, who would be expecting to see modern, high-def depictions of all the memorable and beloved characters from the game, no matter if the natural end point of their stories is long over.

Set up the rest of the Compilation - Advent Children is the draw with the big stars, but also a way to showcase the lesser known characters from from the Compilation who are going to be leading their own spinoffs.  It’s part feature film/part advertisement for the rest of the Compilation. Thus, the Turks, Vincent and Zack get larger roles in the film than one might expect to attract interest to the spinoffs they lead.

Show off its technical prowess: SE probably has enough self awareness to realize that what’s going to set it apart from other animated feature films is not its novel storytelling, but its graphical capabilities. Thus, to really show off those graphics, the film is going to be packed to the brim with big, complicated action scenes with lots of moving parts, as opposed to quieter character driven moments.

These considerations are not unique to Advent Children, but important to note nonetheless:

As a sequel, the stakes have to be just as high if not higher than those in the original work. Since the threat in the OG was the literal end of the world, in Advent Children, the world’s gotta end again

The OG was around 30-40 hours long. An average feature-length film is roughly two hours. Video games and films are two very different mediums. As many TV writers who have tried to make the transition to film (and vice-versa) can tell you, success in one medium does not translate to success in another. 

With so much to do in so little time, is it any wonder then that it is again Sephiroth who is the villain trying to destroy the world and Aerith in the Lifestream the deus ex machina who saves the day?

All of this is just a long-winded way to say, certain choices in the Advent Children that may seem to exist only to perpetuate the LTD were made with many other storytelling considerations in mind.

When trying to understand the intended character arcs and relationship dynamics, you cannot treat the film as a collection of scenes devoid of context. You can’t just say - “well here’s a scene where Cloud seems to miss Aerith, and here’s another scene where Cloud and Tifa fight. Obviously, Cloud loves Aerith.” You have to look at what purpose these scenes serve in the grander narrative.

And what is this grander narrative? To put it in simplistic terms, Aerith is the obstacle, and Tifa is goal. Cloud must get over his guilt over Aerith’s death so that he can return to living with Tifa and the children in peace.

The scenes following the prologue are setting up the emotional stakes of film - the problem that will be resolved by the film’s end. The problem being depicted here is not Aerith’s absence from Cloud’s life, but Cloud’s absence from his family. We see Tifa walking through Seventh Heaven saying “he’s not here anymore,” we see Denzel in his sickbed asking for Cloud, we see a framed photo of the four of them on Cloud’s desk. We see Cloud letting Tifa’s call go to voicemail.

What we do not see is Aerith, who does not appear until almost halfway through the film.

Cloud spends the first of the film avoiding confrontation with the Remnants/dealing with the return of Sephiroth. It’s only when Tifa is injured, and Denzel and Marlene get kidnapped that he goes to face his problems head on.

Before the final battle, when Cloud has exorcised his emotional demons and is about to face his physical demons, what do we see? We see Cloud telling Marlene that it’s his turn to take care of her, Denzel and Tifa the way they’ve taken care of him. We see Cloud telling Tifa that he ‘feels lighter’ and tacitly confirming that she was correct when she called him out earlier in the film. We see Cloud confirming to Denzel that he’s going home after this is all over.

What we do not see is Cloud telepathically communicating with Aerith to say, “Hey boo, can’t wait to beat Sephiroth so I can finally reunite with you in the Promised Land. Xoxoxo.” Aerith doesn’t factor in at all. Returning to his family is his goal, and his fight with Bahamut/the Remnants/Sephiroth/whatever the fuck is the final obstacle he has to face before reaching this goal.

This is reiterated again when Cloud is shot by Yazoo and seemingly perishes in an explosion. What is at stake with his “death”? We see Tifa calling his name while looking out the airship. We see Denzel and Marlene waiting for him at Seventh Heaven. We do not see Aerith watching over him in the Lifestream.

Now, Aerith does play an important role in Cloud’s arc when she shows up at about the midpoint of the film. You could fairly argue that it’s the turning point in Cloud’s emotional journey, the moment when he finally decides to confront his problems. But even if it’s only Cloud and Aerith in the scene, it’s not really about their relationship at all.

Let’s consider the context before this scene happens. Denzel and Marlene have been kidnapped by the Remnants; Tifa was nearly killed in a fight with another. This is Cloud at his lowest point. It’s his worst fears come to pass. His guilt over Aerith’s death is directly addressed at this moment in the film because it is not so much about his feelings for Aerith as it is about how Cloud fears the failures of his past (one of the biggest being her death) would continue into the present. If it was just about Aerith, we could have seen Cloud asking for her forgiveness at any other time in the film. It occurs when it does because this when his guilt over Aerith’s death intersects with his actual conflict, his fear that he’ll fail the the ones he loves. She appears when he’s at the Forgotten City where he goes to save the children. The same location where he had failed two year before.

This connection is made explicit when Cloud has flashes of Zack and Aerith’s deaths before he saves Denzel and Tifa from Bahamut. Again, Cloud’s dwelling on the past is directly related to his fears of being unable to protect his present.

Aerith is a feminine figure who is associated with flowers. That combined with the players’ memory of her and her relationship with Cloud in the OG, I can see how their scenes can be construed as romantic, but I really do not think that it is the creators’ intent to portray any romantic longing on Cloud’s part.

If they wanted to suggest that Cloud was still in love with Aerith or even leave his romantic interest ambiguous, there is no way in hell they would have had Cloud living with Tifa and two kids prior to the film’s events. To say nothing of opening the film by showing the pain his absence brings.

A romantic reading of Cloud’s guilt over Aerith’s death would suggest that he entered into a relationship with Tifa and started raising two children with her while still holding a torch for Aerith and hoping for a way to be reunited with her. The implication would be that Tifa is his second choice, and he is settling. Now, is this a dynamic that occurs in real life? Absolutely. Is this something that is often depicted in some films and television? Sure - in fact this very premise is at the core of one my favorite films of the last decade - 45 Years — and spoiler alert — the guy does not come off well in this situation. But once again, Cloud is not a real person, and Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children is not a John Cassavettes film or an Ingmar Bergman chamber drama. It is a 2-hour long straight to DVD sequel for a video game made for teens. This kind of messy, if realistic, relationship dynamic is not what this particular work is trying to explore.

(one of these is a good film!)

By the end of Advent Children, Cloud is once again the idealized version of himself. A hero that the audience is supposed to like and admire. We are supposed to think that his actions in the first half of the movie (wallowing in his guilt and abandoning his family) were bad. These are the flaws that he must overcome through the course of the film, and by the end he does. If he really had been settling and treating his Seventh Heaven family as a second choice prior to the events of the film, that too would obviously be a character flaw that needs to be addressed before the end of the film. It isn’t because this is a dynamic that only exists in certain people’s imaginations.

If the creators wanted to leave the Cloud & Aerith relationship open to a romantic interpretation, they didn’t have to write themselves into such a corner. They wouldn’t have to change the final film much at all, merely adjust the chronology a bit. Instead of Cloud already living as a family with Tifa, Marlene and Denzel prior to the beginning of the film, you would show them on the precipice of becoming a family, but with Cloud being unable to take the final step without getting over his feelings for Aerith first. This would leave space for him to love both women without coming off as an opportunistic jerk.

This is essentially the dynamic with Locke/Rachel/Celes in FFVI. Locke is unable to move on with Celes or anyone else until he finally finds closure with Rachel. It’s a lovely scene that does not diminish his relationships with either woman. He loved Rachel. He will love Celes. What the game does not have him do is enter into a relationship into Celes first and then when the party arrives at the Phoenix Cave, have him suddenly remember ‘Oh shit, I’ve gotta deal with my baggage with Rachel before I can really move on.’ That would not paint him in a particularly positive light.

Speaking of other Final Fantasies, let’s take a look another sequel in the series set two years after the events of the original work, one that is clearly the story of its protagonist searching for their lost love. And guess what? Final Fantasy X-2 does not begin with Yuna shacked up and raising two kids with another dude. And it certainly doesn’t begin with his perspective of the whole situation when Yuna decides to search for Tidus.

Square Enix knows how to write these kind of stories when they want to, and it’s clearly not their intent for Cloud and Aerith. Again, the biggest obstacle in the way of a Cloud/Aerith endgame isn’t space and time or death, it’s the existence of Tifa Lockhart.

A reasonable question to ask would be, if SE is not trying to ignite debate over the love triangle, why make Cloud’s relationship with Aerith a part of Advent Children at all? Why invite that sort of confusion? Well, the answer here, like the answer in the OG, is that Aerith’s role in the sequel is much more than her relationship with Cloud.

In the OG, it wasn’t Cloud and the gang who managed to stop Sephiroth and Meteor in the end, it was Aerith from the Lifestream. In a two-hour long film, you do not have the time to set up a completely new villain who can believably end the world, and since you pretty much have to include Sephiroth, the main antagonist can really only be him. No one else in the party has been established to have any magical Cetra powers, and again, since that’s not something that can be effectively established in a two-hour long film, and since Aerith needs to appear somehow, it again needs to be her who will save the day.

Given the time constraints, this external conflict has to be connected with Cloud’s internal conflict. In the OG, Cloud’s emotional arc is in resolved in the Lifestream, and then we spend a few more hours hunting down the Huge Materia/remembering what Holy is before resolving the external conflict of stopping Meteor. In Advent Children, we do not have that luxury of time. These turning points have to be one and same. It is only after Aerith is “introduced” in the film when Cloud asks her for forgiveness that she is able to help in the fight against the Remnants. Thus the turning point for Cloud’s character arc and the external conflict are the same. It’s understandably economical storytelling, though I wouldn’t call it particularly good storytelling.

As much as Cloud feels guilt over both Zack and Aerith’s deaths, it’s only Aerith who can play this dual role in the film. Zack can appear to help resolve Cloud’s emotional arc, but since he has no special Cetra powers or anything, there’s little he can do to help in Cloud’s fight against the Remnants. More time would need to be spent contriving a reason why Cloud is able to defeat the Remnants now when he wasn’t before or explaining why Aerith can suddenly help from the Lifestream when she had been absent before. (I still don’t think the film does a particularly good job of explaining this part, but that is a conversation for another time).

Another reason why Zack could not play this role is because at the time of AC’s original release, all we knew of Cloud and Zack’s relationship was contained in an optional flashback at the Shinra mansion after Cloud returns from the Lifestream. If it was Zack who suddenly showed up at Cloud’s lowest point, most viewers, even many who played the original game, would probably have been confused, and the moment would have fallen flat. On the other hand, even the most casual fan would have been aware of Aerith and her connection to Cloud, with her death scene being among the most well-known gaming moments of all time. Moreover, Aerith’s death is directly connected to Sephiroth, who is once again the threat in AC, whereas Zack was killed by Shinra goons. Aerith serves multiple purposes in a way that Zack just cannot.

Despite all this, though Aerith is more important to the film as a whole, many efforts are made to suggest that Zack and Aerith are equally important to Cloud. One of the first scenes in the film is Cloud moping around Zack’s grave (And unlike the scene with Aerith in the Forgotten City, it isn’t directly connected with Cloud’s present storyline in any way). We have the aforementioned scene where Cloud has flashes of both Aerith’s and Zack’s deaths when he saves Tifa and Denzel. Cloud has a scene where he’s standing back to back with Zack, mirroring his scene with in the Forgotten City with Aerith, before the climax of his fight with Sephiroth. In the Lifestream, after Cloud “dies,” it’s both Aerith and Zack who are there to send him back. Before the film ends, Cloud sees both Aerith and Zack leaving the church.

Now, were all these Zack appearances a way to promote the upcoming spin-off game that he’s going to lead? Of course. But the creators surely would have known that having Zack play such a similar role in Cloud’s arc would make Cloud’s relationship with Aerith feel less special and thus complicating a romantic interpretation of said relationship. If they wanted to encourage a romantic reading of Cloud’s lingering feelings for Aerith, they would have given Zack his own distinct role in the film. Or rather, they wouldn’t have put Zack in the film at all, and they certainly wouldn’t have him lead his own game, but we’ll get to the Zack of it all later.

The funny thing is, in a way, Zack is portrayed as being more special to Cloud. Zack only exists in the film to interact with Cloud and encourage him. Meanwhile. Aerith also has brief interactions with Kadaj, the Geostigma children and even Tifa before the film’s end. Aerith is there to save the whole world. Zack is there just for Cloud. If it’s Cloud’s relationship with Aerith that’s meant to be romantic, shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Let’s take a look at Tifa Lockhart. What role did she have to play in the FF7 sequel film? If, like some, you believed FF7 to be the Cloud/Aerith/Sephiroth show, then Tifa could have easily had a Barret-sized cameo in Advent Children. And honestly, she’s just a great martial artist. She has no special powers that would make her indispensable in a fight against Sephiroth. You certainly would not expect her to be the 2nd billed character in the film. Though of course, if you actually played through the Original Game with your eyes open, you would realize that Tifa Lockhart is instrumental to any story about Cloud Strife.

Unlike Aerith’s appearances, almost none of the suggestive scenes and dynamics between Cloud and Tifa had to be included in the film. As in, they serve no other plot related purpose and could have easily been cut from the final film if the creators weren’t trying to encourage a romantic interpretation of their relationship.

It feels inevitable now, but no one was expecting Cloud and Tifa to be living together and raising two kids. In the general consciousness, FF7 is Cloud and Sephiroth and their big swords and Aerith’s death. At the time, in the eyes of most fans and casual observers, Cloud and Tifa being together wasn’t a necessary part of the FF7 equation the way say, an epic fight between Cloud and Sephiroth would be. In fact, I don’t think even the biggest Cloti fans at the time would have imagined Cloud and Tifa living together would be their canon outcome in the sequel film.

Now can two platonic friends live together and raise two children together? Absolutely, but again Cloud and Tifa are not real people. They are fictional characters. A reasonable person (let’s use the legal definition of the term) who does not have brainworms from arguing over one of the dumbest debates on the Internet for 23 years would probably assume that two characters who were shown to be attracted to each other in the OG and who are now living together and raising two kids are in a romantic relationship. This is a reasonable assumption to make, and if SE wanted to leave Cloud’s romantic inclinations ambiguous, they simply would not be depicting Cloud and Tifa’s relationship in this manner. Cloud’s disrupted peace could have been a number of different things. He could have been a wandering mercenary, he could have been searching for a way to be reunited with Aerith. It didn’t have to be the family he formed with Tifa, but, then again, if you were actually paying attention to the story the OG was trying to tell, of course he would be living with Tifa.

Let’s also look at the scene where Cloud finds Tifa in the church after her fight with Loz. All the plot related information (who attacked her, Marlene being taken) is conveyed in the brief conversation they have before Cloud falls unconscious from Geostigma. What purpose do all the lingering shots of Cloud and Tifa in the flower bed in a Yin-Yang/non-sexual 69ing position serve if not to be suggestive of the type of relationship they have? It’s beautifully rendered but ultimately irrelevant to both the external and internal conflicts of the film.

Likewise, there is no reason why Cloud and Tifa needed to wake up in their children’s bedroom. No reason to show Cloud waking up with Tifa next to him in a way that almost makes you think they were in the same bed. And there is absolutely no reason whatsoever for a close-up of Tifa’s hand with the Wolf Ring on her ring finger while she is admonishing Cloud during what sounds like a domestic argument (This ring again comes into focus when Tifa leads Denzel to Cloud at the church at the end - there are dozens of ways this scene could have been rendered, but this is the one that was chosen.) If it wasn’t SE’s intent to emphasize the family dynamic and the intimate nature of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship, these scenes would not exist.

Let’s also take a look at Denzel, the only new character in the AC (give or take the Remnants). Again, given the film’s brief runtime, the fact that they’re not only adding a new character but giving him more screen time than almost every other AVALANCHE member must mean that he’s pretty important. While Denzel does have an arc of his own, especially in ACC, he is intricately connected to Cloud and Tifa and solidifies the family unit that they’ve been forming in Edge. Marlene still has Barret, but with the addition of Denzel, the family becomes something more real albeit even more tenuous given his Geostigma diagnosis. Without Denzel in the picture, it’s a bit easier to interpret Cloud’s distance from Tifa as romantic pining for another woman, but now it just seems absurd. The stakes are so much higher. Cloud and Tifa are at a completely different stage in their lives from the versions of these characters we met early on in the OG who were entangled in a frivolous love triangle. And yet some people are still stuck trying to fit these characters into a childish dynamic that died at the end of disc one along with a certain someone.

All this is there in the film, at least the director’s cut, if you really squint. But since SE preferred to spend its time on countless action sequences that have aged as well as whole milk in lieu of spending a few minutes showing Cloud’s family life before he got Geostigma to establish the emotional stakes, or a beat or two more on his reconciliation with Tifa and the kids, people may be understandably confused about Cloud’s arc. Has Cloud just been a moping around in misery for the two years post-OG? The answer is no, though that can only really be found in the accompanying novellas, specifically Case of Tifa.

Concerning the novellas, which we apparently must read to understand said DVD sequel

I really don’t know how you can read through CoT and still think there is anything ambiguous about the nature of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. The “Because I have you this time,” Cloud telling Tifa he’ll remind her how to be strong when they’re alone, Cloud confidently agreeing when Marlene adds him to their family. Not to mention Barret and Cid’s brief conversation about Cloud and Tifa’s relationship in Case of Barret, after which Cid comments that “women wear the pants,” which Barret then follows by asking Cid about Shera. Again, a reasonable person would assume the couple in question are in a romantic relationship, and if this wasn’t the intent, these lines would not be present. Especially not in a novella about someone else.

Some try to argue that CoT just shows how incompatible Cloud and Tifa are because it features a few low points in their relationship. I don’t think that’s Nojima’s intent. Even if it was, it certainly wouldn’t be to prove that Cloud loves Aerith. This isn’t how you tell that story. Why waste all that time disproving a negative rather than proving a positive? We didn’t spend hours in FF8 watching Rinoa’s relationship with Seifer fall apart to understand how much better off she is with Squall. If Cloud and Aerith is meant to be a love story, then tell their love story. Why tell the story of how Cloud is incompatible with someone else?

Part of the confusion may be because CoT doesn’t tell a complete story in and of itself. The first half of the story (before Cloud has to deliver flowers to the Forgotten City) acts as a sort of epilogue to the OG, while the second half of the story is something of a prologue to Advent Children (or honestly its missing Act One). And to state the obvious, conflict is inherent to any story worth telling. It can’t just be all fluff, that’s what the fanfiction is for.

Tifa’s conflict is her fear that the fragile little family they’ve built in Edge is going to fall apart. Thus we see her fret about Cloud’s distance, the way this affects Marlene, and Denzel’s sickness. There are certainly some low moments here --- Tifa telling Cloud to drink in his room, asking if he loves her -- all ways for the threat to seem more real, the outcome more uncertain, yet there’s only one way this conflict can be resolved. One direction to which their relationship can move.

Again, by the end of this story, both characters are supposed to be the best versions of themselves, to find their “happy” endings so to speak. Tifa could certainly find happiness outside of a relationship with Cloud. She could decide that they’ve given it a shot, but they’re better off as friends. She’s grateful for this experience and she’s learned from this, but now she’s ready to make a life for herself on her own. It would be a fine character arc, though not something the Final Fantasy series has been wont to do. However, that’s obviously not the case here as there’s no indication whatsoever that Tifa considers this as an option for herself. Nojima hasn’t written this off ramp into her journey. For Tifa, they’ll either become a real family or they won’t. Since this is a story that is going to have a happy ending, so of course they will, even if there are a lot of bumps along the way.

Unfortunately, with the Compilation being the unwieldy beast that this is, this whole arc has to be pieced together across a number of different works:

Tifa asking herself if they’re a real family in CoT

Her greatest fear seemingly come to life when Cloud leaves at the end of CoT/beginning of AC

Tifa explicitly asking Cloud if the reason they can’t help each other is because they’re not a real family during their argument in AC. Notably, even though Cloud is at his lowest point, he doesn’t confirm her fear. Instead he says he that he can’t help anyone, not even his family. Instead, he indirectly confirms that yes he does think they’re a family, even if is a frustrating moment still in that he’s too scared to try to save it.

The ending of AC where we see a new photo of Cloud smiling surrounded by Tifa and the kids and the rest of the AVALANCHE, next to the earlier photo we had seen of the four of them where he was wearing a more dour expression.

The ending of The Kids Are All Right, where Cloud, Tifa, Denzel and Marlene meet with Evan, Kyrie and Vits - and Cloud offers, unsolicited, that even if they’re not related by blood, they’re a family.

The ending of DVD extra ‘Reminiscence of FFVII’ where Cloud takes the day off and asks Tifa to close the bar so they can spend time together as a family as Tifa had wanted to do early in CoT

Cloud fears he’ll fail his family. Tifa fears it’ll fall apart. Cloud retreats into himself, pushing others away. Tifa neglects herself, not being able to say what she needs to say. In Advent Children, Tifa finally voices her frustrations. It’s then that Cloud finally confronts his fears. Like in the OG, Cloud and Tifa’s conflicts and character arcs are two sides of the same coin, and it’s only by communicating with each other are they able to resolve it. Though with the Compilation being an inferior work, it’s much less satisfying this time around. Such is the problem when you’re writing towards a preordained outcome (Cloud and Sephiroth duking it once again) rather than letting the story develop organically.

Some may ask, why mention Aerith so much (Cloud growing distant after delivering flowers to the Forgotten City, Cloud finding Denzel at Aerith’s church) if they weren’t trying to perpetuate the LTD? Well, as explained above, Aerith had to be in Advent Children, and since CoT is the only place where we get any insight into Cloud’s psyche, it’s here where Nojima expands on that guilt.

Again, this is a story that requires conflict, and what better conflict than the specter of a love rival? Notably, despite us having access to Tifa’s thoughts and fears, she never explicitly associates Cloud’s behavior with him pining after Aerith. Though it’s fair to say this fear is implied, if unwarranted.

If Cloud had actually been pining after Aerith this whole time, we would not be seeing it all unfold through Tifa’s perspective. You can depict a romance without drawing attention to the injured third party. We’re seeing all of this from Tifa’s POV, because it’s about Tifa’s insecurities, not the great tragic romance between Cloud and Aerith. Honestly, another reason we see this from Tifa’s perspective is because it’s dramatically more interesting. Because she’s insecure, she (and we the reader) wonder if there’s something else going on. Meanwhile, from Cloud’s perspective it would be straightforward and redundant, given what we see in AC. He’s guilty over Aerith’s death and thinks he doesn’t deserve to be happy.

Not to mention, the first time we encounter Aerith in CoT, Tifa is the one breaking down at her grave while Cloud is the one comforting her. Are we supposed to believe that he just forgot he was in love with Aerith until he had to deliver flowers to the Forgotten City?

And Aerith doesn’t just serve as a romantic obstacle. She’s also a symbol of guilt and redemption for both Cloud and Tifa. Neither think they have the right to be happy after all that’s happened (Aerith’s death being a big part of this), and through Denzel, who Cloud finds at Aerith’s church, they both see a chance to atone.

I do want to address Case of Lifestream: White because it’s only time in the entire Compilation where I’ve asked myself — what are they trying to achieve here? Now, I’d rather drink bleach than start debating the translation of ‘koibito’ again, but I did think it was a strange choice to specify the romantic nature of Aerith’s love for Cloud. I suppose it could be a reference her obvious attraction to Cloud in the OG, though calling it love feels like a stretch.

But nothing else in CoLW really gives me pause. It might be a bit jarring to see how much of it is Aerith’s thoughts of Cloud, but it makes sense when you consider the context in which it’s meant to be consumed. Unlike Case of Tifa or Case of Denzel, CoLW isn’t meant to be read on its own. It’s a few scant paragraphs in direct conversation with Case of Lifestream: Black. In CoLB, Sephiroth talks about his plan to return and end the world or whatever, and how Cloud is instrumental to his plan. Each segment of CoLW mirrors the corresponding segment of CoLB. Thus, CoLW has to be about Aerith’s plan to stop Sephiroth and the role Cloud must play in that. In both of these stories, Cloud is the only named character. It doesn’t mean that thoughts of Cloud consume all of Aerith’s afterlife. Case of Lifestream is only a tiny sliver of the story, a halfassed way to explain why in Advent Children the world is ending again and why Cloud has to be at the center of it all.

Notably, there is absolutely nothing in CoLW about Cloud’s feelings for Aerith. Even if it’s just speculation on her part as we see Sephiroth speculate about Cloud’s reactions in CoLB. Aerith can see what’s going on in the real world, but she says nothing about Cloud’s actions. If Cloud is really pining after her, trying to find a way to be reunited with her, wouldn’t this be the ideal story to show such devotion?

But it’s not there, because not only does it not happen, but because this story is not about Aerith’s relationship with Cloud. It is about how Aerith needs to see and warn Cloud in order to stop Sephiroth. By the end of Advent Children, that goal is fulfilled. Cloud gets his forgiveness. Aerith gets to see him again and helps him stop Sephiroth. There’s no suggestion that either party wants more. We finally have the closure that the OG lacked, and at no point does it confirm that Cloud reciprocated Aerith’s romantic feelings, even though there were plenty of opportunities to do so.

I don’t really know what else people were expecting. Advent Children isn’t a romantic drama. There’s not going to be a moment where Cloud explicitly tells Tifa, ‘I’ve never loved Aerith. It’s only been you all along.” This is just simply not the kind of story it is.

Though one late scene practically serves this function. When Cloud “dies” and Aerith finds him in the Lifestream, if there were any lingering romantic feelings between the two of them, this would be a beautiful bittersweet reunion. Maybe something about how as much as they want to be together, it’s not his time yet. Instead, it’s almost played off as a joke. Cloud calls her ‘Mother’, and Zack is at Aerith’s side, joking about how Cloud has no place there. This would be the perfect opportunity to address the romantic connection between Cloud and Aerith, but instead, the film elides this completely. Instead, it’s a cute afterlife moment between Aerith and Zack, and functionally allows Cloud to go back to where he belongs, to Tifa and the kids. Whatever Cloud’s feelings for Aerith were before, it’s transformed into something else.

Crisis Core -- or how Aerith finally gets her love story

The other relevant part of the Compilation is Crisis Core, which I will now touch on briefly (or at least brief for me). In the OG, Zack Fair was more plot device than character. We knew he was important to Cloud — enough that Cloud would mistake Zack’s memories for his own -- we knew he was important to Aerith — enough that she is initially drawn to Cloud due to his similarities to Zack — yet the nature of these relationships is more ambiguous. Especially his relationship with Aerith. From the little we learn of their relationship, it could have been completely one-sided on her part, and Zack a total cad. At least that’s the implication she leaves us with in Gongaga. We get the sense that she might not be the most reliable narrator on this point (why bring up an ex so often, unsolicited, if it wasn’t anything serious?) but the OG never confirms this either way.

Crisis Core clears this up completely. Not only is Zack portrayed as the Capital H Hero of his own game, but his relationships with Cloud and Aerith are two of the most important in the game. In fact, they are the basis for his heroic sacrifice at the game’s end: he dies trying to save Cloud’s life; he dies trying to return to Aerith.

Zack’s relationship with Aerith is a major subplot of the game. Not only that, but the details of said relationship completely recontextualizes what we know about the Aerith we see in the OG. Many of Aerith’s most iconic traits (wearing pink, selling flowers) are a direct product of this relationship, and more importantly, so many of the hallmarks of her early relationship with Cloud (him falling through her church, one date as a reward, a conversation in the playground) are a direct echo of her relationship with Zack.

A casual fling this was not. Aerith’s relationship with Zack made a deep impact on the character we see in the OG and clearly colored her interactions with Cloud throughout.

Crisis Core is telling Zack’s story, and Tifa is a fairly minor supporting character, yet it still finds the time to expand upon Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. Through their interactions with Zack, we learn just how much they were on each others’ minds during this time, and how they were both too shy to own up to these feelings. We also get a brief expansion on the moment Cloud finds Tifa injured in the reactor.

Meanwhile, given the point we are in the story’s chronology, Cloud and Aerith are completely oblivious of each other’s existence.

One may try to argue that none of this matters since all of this is in the past. While this argument might hold water if we arguing about real lives in the real world, FF7 is a work of fiction. Its creators decided that these would be events we would see, and that Zack would be the lens through which we’d see them. Crisis Core is not the totality of these characters’ lives prior to the event of the OG. Rather, it consists of moments that enhance and expand upon our understanding of the original work. We learn the full extent of Hojo’s experimentation and the Jenova project; we learn that Sephiroth was actually a fairly normal guy before he was driven insane when he uncovers the circumstances of his birth. We learn that Aerith was a completely different person before she met Zack, and their relationship had a profound impact on her character.

A prequel is not made to contradict the original work, but what it can do is recontexualize the story we already know and add a layer of nuance that may have not been obvious before. Thus, Sephiroth is transformed from a scary villain into a tragic figure who could have been a hero were it not for Hojo’s experiments. Aerith’s behavior too invites reinterpretation. What once seemed flirty and perhaps overtly forward now looks like the tragic attempts of a woman trying to recapture a lost love.

If Cloud and Aerith were meant to be the official couple of the Compilation of FF7, you absolutely would not be spending so much time depicting two relationships that will be moot by the time we get to the original work. You especially would not depict Zack and Aerith’s relationship in a way that makes Aerith’s relationship with Cloud look like a copy of the moments she had with her ex.

Additionally, with Zack’s relationship with Angeal, we can see, that within the universe of FF7, a protagonist being devastated over the death of a beloved comrade isn’t something that’s inherently romantic. Neither is it romantic for said dead comrade to lend a helping hand from the beyond.

SE would also expect some people to play Crisis Core before the OG. If Cloud and Aerith are the intended endgame couple, then SE would be asking the player to root for a guy to pursue the girlfriend of the man who gave his life for him. The same man who died trying to reunite with her. This is to say nothing of Cloud’s treatment of Tifa in this scenario. How could this possibly be the intent  for their most popular protagonist in the most popular entry of their most popular franchise?

What Crisis Core instead offers is something for fans of Aerith who may be disappointed that she was robbed of a great romance by her death. Well, she now gets that epic, tragic romance. Only it’s with Zack, not Cloud.

If SE intended for Cloud and Aerith to be the official couple of FF7, neither Zack nor Tifa would exist. They would not spend so much time developing Zack and Tifa into the multi-dimensional characters they are, only to be treated as nothing more than collateral damage in the wake of Cloud and Aerith’s great love. No, this is a Final Fantasy. SE want their main characters to have something of a happy ending after all of the tribulations they face. Cloud and Tifa find theirs in life. Zack and Aerith, as the ending of AC suggests, find theirs in death.

Cloud and Aerith’s relationship isn’t a threat to the Zack/Aerith and Cloud/Tifa endgame, nor is it a mere obstacle. Rather, it’s a relationship that actually deepens and strengthens the other two. Aerith is explicitly searching for her first love in Cloud, revealing just how deep her feelings for Zack ran. Cloud gets to live out his heroic SOLDIER fantasy with Aerith, a fantasy he created just to impress Tifa.

There are moments between Cloud and Aerith that may seem romantic when taken on its own, but viewed within the context of the whole narrative, ultimately reveal that they aren’t quite right for each other, and in each other, they’re actually searching for someone else.

This quadrangular dynamic reminds me a bit of one of my favorite classic films, The Philadelphia Story. (Spoilers for a film that came out in 1940 ahead) — The single most romantic scene in the film is between Jimmy Stewart’s and Katherine Hepburn’s characters, yet they’re not the ones who end up together. Even as their passions run, as the music swells, and we want them to end up together, we realize that they’re not quite right for each other. We know that it won’t work out.

More relevantly, we know this is true due to the existence of Cary Grant’s and Ruth Hussey’s characters, who are shown to carry a torch for Hepburn and Stewart, respectively. Grant and Hussey are well-developed and sympathetic characters. With the film being the top grossing film of the year, and made during the Code era, it’s about as “clean” of a narrative as you can get. There’s no way Grant and Hussey would be given such prominent roles just to be left heartbroken and in the cold by the film’s end.

Hepburn’s character (Tracy) pretty much sums it herself after some hijinks lead to a last minute proposal from Stewart’s character (Mike):

Mike: Will you marry me, Tracy?                      

Tracy: No, Mike. Thanks, but hmm-mm. Nope.

Mike: l've never asked a girl to marry me. l've avoided it. But you've got me all confused now. Why not?

Tracy: Because l don't think Liz [Hussey’s character] would like it...and l'm not sure you would...and l'm even a little doubtful about myself. But l am beholden to you, Mike. l'm most beholden.

Despite the fact that the film spends more time developing Hepburn and Stewart’s relationship than theirs with their endgame partners, it’s still such a satisfying ending. That’s because, even at the peak of their romance, we can see how Stewart needs someone like Hussey to ground his passionate impulses, and how Hepburn needs Grant, someone who won’t put her on a pedestal like everyone else. Hepburn and Stewart’s is a relationship that might feel right in the moment, but doesn’t quite work in the light of day.

I don’t think Cloud and Aerith share a moment that is nearly as romantic in FF7, but the same principle applies. What may seem romantic in the moment actually reveals how they’re right for someone else.

Even if Aerith lives and Cloud decides to pursue a relationship with her, it’s not going to be all puppies and roses ahead for them. Aerith would need to disentangle her feelings for Zack from her attraction to Cloud, and Cloud would still need to confront his feelings for Tifa, which were his main motivator for nearly half his life, before they can even start to build something real. This is messy work, good fodder for a prestige cable drama or an Oscar-baity indie film, but it has no place in a Final Fantasy. There simply isn’t the time. Not when the question on most players’ minds isn’t ‘Cloud does love?’ but ‘How the hell are they going to stop that madman and his Meteor that’s about to destroy the world?’

With Zerith’s depiction in Crisis Core, there’s a sort of bittersweet poetry in how the two relationships rhyme but can’t actually coexist. It is only because Zack is trying to return to Midgar to see Aerith that Cloud is able to reunite with Tifa, and the OG begins in earnest. In another world, Zack and Aerith would be the hero and heroine who saved the world and lived to tell the tale. They are much more the traditional archetypes - Zack the super-powered warrior who wants to be a Capital-H Hero, and Aerith, the last of her kind who reluctantly accepts her fate. Compared to these two, Cloud and Tifa aren’t nearly so special, nor their goals so lofty and noble. Cloud, after all, was too weak to even get into SOLDIER, and only wanted to be one, not for some greater good, but to impress the girl he liked. Tifa has no special abilities, merely learning martial arts when she grew wise enough to not wait around for a hero. On the surface, Cloud and Tifa are made of frailer stuff, and yet by luck or by fate, they’re the ones who cheat death time and time again, and manage to save the world, whereas the ones who should have the role, are prematurely struck down before they can finish the job. Cloud and Tifa fulfill the roles that they never asked for, that they may not be particularly suited for, in Zack and Aerith’s stead. There’s a burden and a beauty to it. Cloud and Tifa can live because Zack and Aerith did not.

All of this nuance is lost if you think Cloud and Aerith are meant to be the endgame couple. Instead, you have a pair succumbing to their basest desires, regardless of the selfless sacrifices their other potential paramours made for their sake. Zack and Tifa, and their respective relationships with Aerith and Cloud, are flattened into mere romantic obstacles. The heart wants what it wants, some may argue. While that may be true in real life, that is not necessarily the case in a work of fiction, especially not a Final Fantasy. The other canon Final Fantasy couples could certainly have had previous romantic relationships, but unless they have direct relevance to the their character arcs (e.g., Rachel to Locke), the games do not draw attention to them because they would be a distraction from the romance they are trying to tell. They’ve certainly never spent the amount of real estate FF7 spends in depicting Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith’s relationships.

At last…the Remake, and somehow this essay isn’t even close to being over

Finally, we come to the Remake. With the technological advancements made in the last 23 years and the sheer amount of hours they’re devoting to just the Midgar section this time around, you can almost look at the OG as an outline and the Remake as the final draft. With the OG being overly reliant on text to  do its storytelling, and the Remake having subtle facial expressions and a slew of cinematic techniques at its disposal, you might almost consider it an adaptation from a literary medium to a visual one. Our discussions are no longer limited to just what the characters are saying, but what they are doing, and even more importantly, how the game presents those actions. When does the game want us to pay attention? And what does it want us to pay attention to?

Unlike most outlines, which are read by a small handful of execs, SE has 23 years worth of reactions from the general public to gauge what works and what doesn’t work, what caused confusion, and what could be clarified. While FF7 is not a romance, the LTD remains a hot topic among a small but vocal part of the fanbase. It certainly is an area that could do with some clarifying in the Remake.

Since the Remake is not telling a new story, but rather retelling an existing story that has been in the public consciousness for over two decades, certain aspects that were treated as “twists” in the OG no longer have that same element of surprise, and would need to approached differently. For example, in the Midgar section of the OG, Shinra is treated as the main antagonist throughout. It’s only when we get to the top of the Shinra tower that Sephiroth is revealed as the real villain. Anyone with even a passing of knowledge of FF7 would be aware of Sephiroth so trying to play it off like a surprise in the Remake would be terribly anticlimactic. Thus, Sephiroth appears as early as Ch. 2 to haunt Cloud and the player throughout.

Likewise, many players who’ve never even touched the OG are probably aware that Aerith dies, thus her death can no longer be played for shock. While SE would still want the player to grow attached to Aerith so that her death has an emotional impact, there are diminishing returns to misdirecting the player about her fate, at least not in the same way it was done in the OG.

How do these considerations affect the how the LTD is depicted in the Remake? For the two of the biggest twists in the OG to land in the Remake — Aerith’s death and Cloud’s true identity in the Lifestream — the game needs to establish:

Aerith’s attraction to Cloud, specifically due to his similarities to Zack. This never needs to go past an initial attraction for the player to understand that the man whose memory Cloud was “borrowing” is Zack. Aerith’s feelings for Cloud can evolve into something platonic or even maternal by her end without the reveal in the Lifestream losing any impact.

Cloud’s love for Tifa. For the Lifestream sequence to land with an “Ooooh!” rather than a “Huh!?!?”, the Remake will need to establish that Cloud’s feelings for Tifa were strong enough to 1) motivate him to try to join SOLDIER in the first place 2) incentivize him to adopt a false persona because he fears that he isn’t the man she wants him to be 3) call him back to consciousness from Make poisoning twice 4) help him put his mind back together and find his true self. That’s a lot of story riding on one guy’s feelings!

The player’s love for Aerith so that her death will hurt. This can be done by making them invested in Aerith as a character by her own right, but also extends to the relationships she has with the other characters (not only Cloud).

What is not necessary is establishing Cloud’s romantic feelings for Aerith. Now, would their doomed romance make her death hurt even more? Sure, but it could work just as well if Cloud if is losing a dear friend and ally, not a lover. Not to mention, her death also cuts short her relationships with Tifa, Barret, Red XII, etc. Bulking those relationships up prior to her death, would also make her loss more palpable. If anything, establishing Cloud’s romantic feelings for Aerith would actually undermine the game’s other big twist. The game needs you to believe that Cloud’s feelings for Tifa were strong enough to drive his entire hero’s journey. If Cloud is shown falling in love with another woman in the span of weeks if not mere days, then the Lifestream scene would be much harder to swallow.

Cloud wavering between the two women made sense in the OG because the main way for the player to get to know Aerith was through her interactions with Cloud. That is no longer the case in the Remake. Cloud is still the protagonist, and the player character for the vast majority of the game, but there are natural ways for the player to get to know Aerith outside of her dialogue exchanges with Cloud. Unless SE considers the LTD an integral part of FF7’s DNA, then for the sake of story clarity, the LTD doesn’t need to exist.

How then does the Remake clarify things?

I’m not going go through every single change in the Remake — there are far too many of them, and they’ve been documented elsewhere. Most of the changes are expansions or adaptations (what might make sense for super-deformed chibis would look silly for realistic characters, e.g., Cloud rolling barrels in the Church has now become him climbing across the roof support). What is expanded and how it’s adapted can be telling, but what is more interesting are the additions and removals. Not just for what takes place in the scenes themselves, but how their addition or removal changes our understanding of the narrative as a whole vis-a-vis the story we know from the OG.

Notably, one of the features that is not expanded upon, but rather diminished, is player choice. In the OG, the player had a slew of dialogue options to choose from, especially during the Midgar portion of the game. Not only did it determine which character would go on a date with Cloud at the Gold Saucer, but it also made the player identify with Cloud since they’re largely determining his personality during this stage. Despite the technological advances that have made this level of optionality the norm in AAA games, the Remake gives the player far fewer non-gameplay related choices, and only really the illusion of choice as a nod to the OG, but they don’t affect the story of the game in any meaningful way. You get a slightly different conversation depending on the choice, but you have to buy the Flower, Tifa has to make you a drink.

So much of what fueled the LTD in the OG came from this mechanic, which is now largely absent in the Remake. Almost every instance where there was a dialogue branch in the OG has become a single, canon scenario in the Remake that favors Tifa (e.g., having the choice of giving the flower to Tifa or Marlene in the OG, to Cloud giving the flower to Tifa in the Remake). Similarly, for the only meaningful choice you make in the Remake — picking Tifa or Aerith in the sewers — Cloud is now equidistant to both girls, whereas in the OG, his starting point was much closer to Aerith. In the OG, player choice allowed you to largely determine Cloud’s personality, and the girl he favored — and seemingly encouraged you to choose Aerith in many instances. In the Remake, Cloud is now his own character, not who the player wants him to be. And this Cloud, well, he sure seems to have a thing for Tifa.

In fact, one of the first changes in the Remake is the addition of Jessie asking Cloud about his relationship with Tifa, and Cloud’s brief flashback to their childhood together. In the OG, Tifa isn’t mentioned at all during the first reactor mission, and we don’t see her until we get to Sector 7.

Not only does this scene reveal Tifa’s importance to Cloud much earlier on than in the OG, but it sets up a sort of frame of reference that colors Cloud’s subsequent interactions. Even as Jessie kind of flirts with him throughout the reactor mission, even with his chance meeting Aerith in Sector 8, in the back of your mind, you might be thinking — wait what about his relationship with this Tifa character? What if he’s already spoken for?

Think about how this plays out in the OG. Jessie is pretty much a non-entity, and Cloud has his meet-cute with the flower girl before we’re even aware that Tifa exists. It’s hard to get too invested in his interactions with Tifa, when you know he has to meet the flower girl again, and you’re waiting for that moment, because that’s when the game will start in earnest.

After chapter 1 of the Remake, a new player may be asking — who is this Tifa person, and, echoing Jessie’s question, what kind of relationship does she have with Cloud? It’s a question that’s repeated when Barret mentions her before they set the bomb, and again when Barret specifies Seventh Heaven is where Tifa works — and the game zooms in on Cloud’s face — when they arrive in Sector 7.

It’s when we finally meet her at Seventh Heaven in Ch. 3 that we feel, ah now, this game has finally begun.

It’s also interesting how inorganically this question is introduced in the Remake. Up until that moment, the dialogue and Cloud are all business. Then, as they’re waiting for the gate to open, Jessie asks about Tifa completely out of the blue, and Cloud, all of a sudden, is at a lost for words, and has the first of many flashbacks. That this moment is a bit incongruous shows the effort SE made to establish Tifa’s importance to the game and to Cloud early on.

One of the biggest changes in the Remake is the addition of the events in Ch. 3 and 4. Unlike what happens in Ch. 18, Ch. 3 and 4 feel like such a natural extension of the OG’s story that many players may not even realize that SE has added an whole day’s and night’s worth of events to the OG’s story. While not a drastic change, it does reshape our understanding of subsequent events in the story, namely Cloud’s time spent alone with Aerith.

In the OG, we rush from one reactor mission to the next, with no real time to explore Cloud’s character or his relationships with any of the other characters in between. When he crashes through the church, he gets a bit of a breather. We see a different side of him with Aerith. Since we have nothing else to compare it to, many might assume that his relationship with Aerith is special. That she brings something out of him that no one else can.

That is no longer the case in the Remake. While Cloud’s time in Sector 5 with Aerith remains largely unchanged though greatly expanded, it no longer feels  “special.” So many of the beats that seemed exclusive to his relationship with Aerith in the OG, we’ve now already seen play out with both Tifa and the other members of AVALANCHE long before he meets Aerith.

Cloud tells the flowers to listen to Aerith; he’s told Tifa he’s listening if she wants to talk; told Bigg’s he wants to hear the story of Jessie’s dad. Cloud offers to walk Aerith back home; he offered the same to Wedge. Cloud smiles at Aerith; he’s already smiled at Tifa and AVALANCHE a number of times.

Now, I’m under no illusion that SE added these chapters solely to diminish Aerith’s importance to Cloud (other than the obvious goal of making the game longer, I imagine they wanted the player to spend more time in Sector 7 and more time with the other AVALANCHE members so that the collapse of the Pillar and their deaths have more weight), but they certainly must have realized that this would be one effect. If pushing Cloud/Aerith’s romance had been a goal with the Remake, this would be a scenario they would try to avoid. Notably, the other place where time has been added - the night in the Underground Shinra Lab, and the day helping other people out around the slums — are also periods of time when Aerith is absent.

Home Sweet Slums vs. Budding Bodyguard

Since most of the events in Ch. 3 were invented for the Remake, and thus we have nothing in the OG to compare it to (except to say that something is probably better than nothing), I thought it would be more interesting to compare it to Ch. 8. Structurally, they are nearly identical — Cloud doing sidequests around the Sectors with one of the girls as his guide. Extra bits of dialogue the more sidequests you complete, with an optional story event if you do them all. Do Cloud’s relationships with each girl progress the same way in both chapters? Is the Remake just Final Waifu Simulator 2020 or are they distinct, reflecting their respective roles in the story as a whole?

A lot of what the player takes away from these chapters is going to be pretty subjective (Is he annoyed with her or is he playing hard to get), yet the vibes of the two chapters are quite different. This is because in Ch. 3, the player is getting to know Tifa through her relationship with Cloud; in Ch. 8; the player is getting to know Aerith as a character on her own.

What do I mean by this? Let’s take Cloud’s initial introduction into each Sector. In Ch. 3, it’s a straight shot from Seventh Heaven to Stargazer Heights punctuated by a brief conversation where Tifa asks Cloud about the mission he was just on. We don’t learn anything new about Tifa’s character here. Instead we hear Cloud recount the mission we already saw play out in detail in Ch. 1 But it’s through this conversation that we get a glimpse of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship — unlike the reticent jerk he was with Avalanche, this Cloud is much more responsive and even tries to reassure her in his own stilted way. We also know that they have enough of a past together that Tifa can categorize him as “not a people person” — an assessment to which Cloud agrees. Slowly, we’re getting an answer to the question Jessie posed in Ch. 1 — just what kind of relationship does Cloud have with Tifa?

In Ch. 8, Aerith leads Cloud on a roundabout way through Sector 5, and stops, unprompted, to talk about her experiences helping at the restaurant, helping out the doctor, and helping with the orphans at the Leaf House. It’s not so much a conversation as a monologue. Cloud isn’t the one who inquires about these relationships, and more jarringly, he doesn’t respond until Aerith directly asks him a question (interestingly enough, it’s about the flower she gave him…which he then gave to Tifa). Here, the game is allowing the player to learn more about the kind of person Aerith is. Cloud is also learning about Aerith at the same time, but with his non-reaction, either the game itself is indifferent to Cloud’s feelings towards Aerith or it is deliberately trying to portray Cloud’s indifference to Aerith.

The optional story event you can see in each chapter after completing all the side quests is also telling. In Ch. 3, “Alone at Last” is almost explicitly about Cloud and Tifa’s relationship. It’s bookended by two brief scenes between Marle and Cloud — the first in which she lectures him about how he should treat Tifa almost like an overprotective in-law, the second after they return downstairs and Marle awards Cloud with an accessory “imbued with the fervent desire to be by one’s side for eternity” after he makes Tifa smile. In between, Cloud and Tifa chat alone in her room. Tifa finally gets a chance to ask Cloud about his past and they plan a little date to celebrate their reunion. There is also at least the suggestion that Cloud was expecting something else when Tifa asked him to her room.

In Ch. 8’s “The Language of Flowers,” Cloud and Aerith’s relationship is certainly part of the story — unlike earlier in the chapter, Cloud actually asks Aerith about what she’s doing and even supports her by talking to the flowers too, but the other main objective of this much briefer scene is to show Aerith’s relationship with the flowers and of her mysterious Cetra powers (though we don’t know about her ancestry just yet). Like a lot of Aerith’s dialogue, there’s a lot of foreshadowing and foreboding in her words. If anything, it’s almost as if Cloud is playing the Marle role to the flowers, as an audience surrogate to ask Aerith about her relationship with the flowers so that she can explain. Also, there’s no in-game reward that suggests what the scene was really about.

If there’s any confusion about what’s going on here, just compare their titles “Alone At Last” vs. “The Language of Flowers.”

I’ll try not to bring my personal feelings into this, but there’s just something so much more satisfying about the construction of Ch. 3. This is some real storytelling 101 shit, but I think a lot of it due to just how much set up and payoff there is, and how almost all of said payoff deepens our understanding of Cloud and Tifa’s relationship:

Marle: Cloud meets Tifa’s overprotective landlady towards the beginning of the chapter. She is dubious of his character and his relationship with TIfa. This impression does not change the second time they meet even though Tifa herself is there to mediate. It’s only towards the end of the chapter, after all the sidequests are complete, that this tension is resolved. Marle gives Cloud a lecture about how he should be treating Tifa, which he seems to take to heart. And Cloud finally earns Marle’s begrudging approval after he emerges from their rooms with a chipper-looking Tifa in tow.

Their past: For their first in-game interaction, Cloud casually brings up that fact that it’s been “Five years” since they’ve last, which seem to throw Tifa off a bit. As they’re replacing filters, Cloud asks Tifa what she’s been up to in the time since they’ve been apart, and Tifa quickly changes the subject. Tifa tries to ask Cloud about his life “after he left the village,” at the Neighborhood Watch HQ, and this time he’s the one who seems to be avoiding the subject. It’s only after all the Ch. 3 sidequests are complete, and they're alone in her room that Tifa finally gets the chance to ask her question. A question which Cloud still doesn’t entirely answer. This question remains unresolved, and anyone’s played the OG will know that it will remain unresolved for some time yet, as it is THE question of Cloud’s story as a whole.

The lessons: Tifa starts spouting off some lessons for life in the slums as she brings Cloud around the town, though it’s unclear if Cloud is paying attention or taking them to heart. After completing the first sidequest, Cloud repeats one of these sayings back to her, confirming that he’s been listening all along. By the end of the chapter, Cloud is repeating these lessons to himself, even when Tifa isn’t around. These lessons extend beyond this chapter, with Cloud being a real teacher’s pet, asking Tifa “Is this a lesson” in Ch. 10 once they reunite.

The drink: When Cloud first arrives at Seventh Heaven, Tifa plays hostess and asks him if he wants anything, but it seems he’s only interested in his money. After exploring the sector a bit, Tifa again tries to play the role of cheery bartender, offering to make him a cocktail at the bar, but Cloud sees through this facade, and they carry on. Finally, after the day’s work is done, to tide Cloud over while she’s meeting with AVALANCHE, Tifa finally gets the chance to make him a drink. No matter, which dialogue option the player chooses, Tifa and Cloud fall into the roles of flirty bartender and patron quite easily. Who would have thought this was possible from the guy we met in Ch. 1?

This dynamic is largely absent in Ch. 8, except perhaps exploring Aerith’s relationship with the flowers, which “pays off” in the “Language of Flowers” event, but again, that scene is primarily about Aerith’s character rather than her relationship with Cloud. The orphans and the Leaf House are a throughline of the chapter, but they are merely present. There’s no clear progression here as was the case with in Ch. 3. Sure, the kids admire Cloud quite a bit after he saves them, but it’s not like they were dubious of his presence before. They barely paid attention to him. In terms of the impact the kids have on Cloud’s relationship with Aerith, there isn’t much at all. Certainly nothing like the role Marle plays in developing his relationship with Tifa.

The thing is, there are plenty of moments that could have been set ups, only there’s no real follow through. Aerith introduces Cloud around town as her bodyguard, and some people like the Doctor express dubiousness of his ability to do the job, but even after we spend a whole day fighting off monsters, and defeating Rude, there’s no payoff. Not even a throwaway “Wow, great job bodyguarding” comment. Same with the whole “one date” reward. Other than a quick reference on the way to Sector 5, and Aerith threatening to reveal the deal to cajole Cloud into helping her gather flowers, it’s never brought up again, in this chapter, or the rest of the game.

Aerith also makes a big stink about Cloud taking the time to enjoy Elmyra’s cooking. This is after Cloud is excluded from AVALANCHE’s celebration in Seventh Heaven and after he misses out on Jessie’s mom’s “Midgar Special” with Biggs and Wedge. So this could have been have been the set up to Cloud finally getting to experience a nice, domestic moment where he feels like he’s part of a family. And this dinner does happen! Only…the Remake skips over it entirely. Which is quite a strange choice considering that almost every other waking moment of Cloud’s time in Midgar has been depicted in excruciating detail. SE has decided that either whatever happened in this dinner between these three characters is irrelevant to the story they’re trying to tell, or they’ve deliberately excluded this scene from the game so that the player wouldn’t get any wrong ideas from it (e.g., that Cloud is starting to feel at home with Aerith).

Speaking of home, the Odd Jobs in Ch. 3 feel a bit more meaningful outside of just the gameplay-related rewards because they’re a way for Cloud to improve his reputation as he considers building a life for himself in Sector 7. This intent is implicit as Tifa imparts upon him the life lessons for surviving the slums, and then explicit, when Tifa asks him if he’s going to “stick around a little longer” outside of Seventh Heaven and he answers maybe. (It is later confirmed when Cloud and Tifa converse in his room in Ch. 4 after he remembers their promise).

Despite Aerith’s endeavors to extend their time together, there’s no indication that Cloud is planning to put down roots in Sector 5, or even return. Not even after doing all the Odd Jobs. If anything, it’s just the opposite — after 3 Odd Jobs, Aerith, kind of jokingly tells Cloud “don’t think you can rely on me forever.” This is a line that has a deeper meaning for anyone who knows Aerith’s fate in the OG, but Cloud seems totally fine with the outcome. Similarly, at the end of the Chapter 8, Elmyra asks Cloud to leave and never speak to Aerith again — a request to which he readily agrees.

Adding to the different vibes of the Chapters are the musical themes that play in the background. In Ch. 3, it’s the “Main Theme of VII”, followed by “On Our Way” — two tracks that instantly recall the OG. While the Main Theme is a bit melancholy, it's also familiar. It feels like home. In Ch. 8, we have an instrumental version of ‘Hollow’ - the new theme written for the Remake. While, it’s a lovely piece, it’s unfamiliar and honestly as a bit anxiety inducing (as is the intent).

(A quick aside to address the argument that this proves ‘Hollow’ is about Cloud’s feelings for Aerith:

Which of course doesn’t make any damn sense because he hasn’t even lost Aerith at this point the story. Even if you want to argue that there is so timey-wimey stuff going on and the whole purpose of the Remake is to rewrite the timeline so that Cloud doesn’t lose Aerith around — shouldn’t there be evidence of this desire outside of just the background music? Perhaps, in Cloud’s actions during the Chapter which the song plays — shouldn’t he dread being parted from her, shouldn’t he be the one trying to extend their time together? Instead, he’s willing to let her go quite easily.

The more likely explanation as to why “Hollow” plays in Ch. 8 is that since the “Main Theme of FFVII”  already plays in Ch. 3, the other “main theme” written for the Remake is going to play in the other chapter with a pseudo-open world vibe. If you’re going to say “Hollow” is about Cloud’s feelings for Aerith then you’d have to accept that the Main Theme of the entire series is about Cloud’s feelings for Tifa, which would actually make a bit more sense given that is practically Cloud’s entire character arc.)

Both chapters contain a scripted battle that must be completed before the chapter can end. They both contain a shot where Cloud fights side by side with each of the girls.

Here, Cloud and Tifa are both in focus during the entirety of this shot.

Here, the focus pulls away from Cloud the moment Aerith enters the frame.

I doubt the developers expected most players to notice this particular technique, but it reflects the subtle differences in the way these two relationships are portrayed. By the end of Ch. 3, Cloud and Tifa are acting as one unit. By the end of Ch. 8, even when they’re together, Cloud and Aerith are still apart.

A brief (lol) overview of some meaningful changes from the OG

One of the most significant changes in the Sector 7 chapters is how The Promise flashback is depicted. In the OG, Tifa is the one who has to remind Cloud of the Promise, in a rather pushy way, and whether Cloud chooses to join the next mission to fulfill his promise to her or because Barret is giving him a raise feels a bit more ambiguous.

In the Remake, the Promise has it’s own little mini-arc. It’s first brought up at the end of Ch. 3 when Cloud talks to Tifa about her anxieties about the upcoming mission. Tifa subtly references the Promise by mentioning that she’s “in a pitch” — a reference that goes over Cloud’s head. It’s only in Ch. 4, in the middle of a mission with Biggs and Wedge, where Tifa is no where in sight, that a random building fan reminds him of the Nibelheim water tower and the Promise he made to Tifa there. There’s also another brief flashback to that earlier moment in the bar when Tifa mentions she’s in a “pinch.” Again, the placement of this particular flashback at this particular moment feels almost jarring. And the flashback to the scene in the bar — a flashback to a scene we’ve already seen play out in-game — is the only one of its kind in the Remake. SE went out of the way to show that this particular moment is very important to Cloud and the game as whole. It’s when Cloud returns to his room, and Tifa asks him if he’s planning to stay in Midgar, that this mini-arc is finally complete. He brings up the Promise on his own, and makes it explicit that the reason he’s staying is for her. It’s to fulfill his Promise to her, not for money or for AVALANCHE — at this point, he’s not even supposed to be going on the next mission.

The Reactor 5 chapters are greatly expanded, but there aren’t really any substantive changes other than the addition of the rather intimate train roll scene between and Cloud and Tifa, which adds nothing to the story except to establish how horny they are for each other. We know this is the case, of course, because if you go out of your way to make Cloud look like an incompetent idiot and let the timer run out, you can avoid this scene altogether. But even in that alternate scene, Cloud’s concern for Tifa is crystal clear.

Ch. 8 also plays out quite similarly to the OG for the most part, though Cloud’s banter with Aerith on the rooftops doesn’t feel all that special since we’ve already seen him do the same with Tifa, Barret and the rest of AVALANCHE. The rooftops is the first place Cloud laughs in the OG. In the Remake, while Cloud might not have straight out laughed before, he’s certainly smiled quite a bit in the preceding chapters. Also, with the addition of voice acting and realistic facial expressions, that “laughter” in the Remake comes off much more sarcastic than genuine.

It’s also notable that in the Remake, Cloud vocally protests almost every time Aerith tries to extend their time together. In the OG, Cloud says nothing in these moments, which the player could reasonably interpret as assent.

One major change in the Remake is how Aerith learns of Tifa’s existence. In the OG, Cloud mentions that he wants to go back to Tifa’s bar, prompting Aerith to ask him about his relationship with her. In the Remake, Cloud calls Tifa’s name after having a random flashback of Child Tifa as he’s walking along with some kids. Again the insertion of said flashback is a bit jarring, prompting Aerith to understandably ask Cloud about just who this Tifa is. In the OG, this exchange served to show Aerith’s jealousy and her interest in Cloud. In the Remake, it’s all about Cloud’s feelings for Tifa and his inability to articulate them. As for Aerith, I suppose you can still read her reaction as jealous, though simple curiosity is a perfectly reasonable way to read it too. It plays out quite similarly to Aerith asking Cloud about who he gave the flower to. Her follow ups seem indicate that she’s merely curious about who this recipient might be rather than showing that she’s upset/jealous of the fact that said person exists.

For the collapsed tunnel segment, the Remake adds the recurring bit of Aerith and Cloud trying to successfully complete a high-five. While this is certainly a way to show them getting closer, it’s about least intimate way that SE could have done so. Just think about the alternatives — you could have Cloud and Aerith sharing brief tidbits of their lives after each mechanical arm, you could have them trying to reach for each other’s hand. Instead, SE chose an action that is we’ve seen performed between a number of different platonic buddies, and an action that Aerith immediately performs with Tifa upon meeting her. Not to mention, even while they are technically getting closer, Cloud still rejects (or at least tries to) Aerith’s invitations to extend their time together twice — at the fire and at the playground.

One aspect from these two Chapters that does has plenty of set up and a satisfying payoff is Aerith’s interest in Cloud’s SOLDIER background. You have the weirdness of Aerith already knowing that Cloud was in SOLDIER without him mentioning it first, followed by Elmyra’s antipathy towards SOLDIERs in general, not to mention Aerith actively fishing for information about Cloud’s time in SOLDIER. (For players who’ve played Crisis Core, the reason for her behavior is even more obvious, with her “one date” gesture mirroring Zack’s, and her line to Cloud in front of the tunnel a near duplicate of what she says to Zack — at least in the original Japanese).

Finally, at the playground, it’s revealed that the reason for all this weirdness is because Aerith’s first love was also a SOLDIER who was the same rank as Cloud. Unlike in the OG, Cloud does not exhibit any potential jealousy by asking about the nature of her relationship, and Aerith doesn’t try to play it off by dismissing the seriousness. In fact, with the emotional nuance we can now see on her face, we can understand the depth of her feelings even if she cannot articulate them.

This is the first scene in the Remake where Cloud and Aerith have a genuine conversation. Thus, finally, Cloud expresses some hesitation before he leaves her — and as far as he knows, this could be the last time they see each other. You can interpret this hesitation as romantic longing or it could just as easily be Cloud being a bit sad to part from a new friend. Regardless, it’s notable that scene is preceded by one where Aerith is talking about her first love who she clearly isn’t over, and followed by a scene where Cloud sprints across the screen, without a backwards glance at Aerith, after seeing a glimpse of Tifa through a tiny window in a Chocobo cart that’s about a hundred yards away.

The Wall Market segment in the Remake is quite explicitly about Cloud’s desire to save Tifa. In the OG, Aerith has no trouble getting into Corneo’s mansion on her own, so I can see how someone could misinterpret Cloud going through all the effort to dress as a woman to protect Aerith from the Don’s wiles (though of course, you would need to ask, why they trying to infiltrate the mansion in the first place?). In the Remake, Cloud has to go through herculean efforts to even get Aerith in front of the Don. Everyone who is aware of Cloud’s cause, from Sam to Leslie to Johnny to Andrea to Aerith herself, comments on how hard he’s working to save Tifa and how important she must be to him for him to do so. In case there’s any confusion, the Remake also includes a scene where Cloud is prepared to bust into the mansion on his own, leaving Aerith to fend for herself, after Johnny comes with news that Tifa is in trouble.

Both Cloud and Aerith get big dress reveals in the Remake. If you get Aerith’s best dress, Cloud’s reaction can certainly be read as one of attraction, but since the game continues on the same regardless of which dress you get, it’s not meant to mark a shift in Cloud and Aerith’s relationship. Rather, it’s a reward for the player for completing however many side quests in Ch. 8, especially since the Remake incentives the player to get every dress and thus see all of Cloud’s reactions by making it a Trophy and including it in the play log.

A significant and very welcome change from the OG to the Remake is Tifa and Aerith’s relationship dynamic. In the OG, the girls’ first meeting in Corneo’s mansion starts with them fighting over Cloud (by pretending not to fight over Cloud). In the Remake, the sequence of events is reversed so that it starts off with Cloud’s reunion with Tifa (again emphasizing that the whole purpose of the infiltration is because Cloud wants to save Tifa). Then when Aerith wakes, she’s absolutely thrilled to make Tifa’s acquaintance, hardly acknowledging Cloud at all. Tifa is understandably more wary at first, but once they start working together, they become fast friends.

Also interesting is that from the moment Aerith and Tifa meet, almost every instance where Cloud could be shown worrying about Aerith or trying to comfort Aerith is given to Tifa instead. In the OG, it’s Cloud who frets about Aerith getting involved in the plot to question the Don, and regrets getting her mixed up in everything once they land in the sewers. In the Remake, those very same reservations are expressed by Tifa instead. Tifa is the one who saves Aerith when the platform collapses in the sewer. Tifa is the one who emotionally comforts Aerith after they’re separated in the train graveyard. (Cloud might be the one who physically saves her, but he doesn’t even so much give her a second glance to check on her well-being before he runs off to face Eligor. He leaves that job for Tifa). It almost feels like the Remake is going out of its way to avoid any moments between Cloud and Aerith that could be interpreted as romantic. In fact, after Corneo’s mansion, unless you get Aerith’s resolution, there are almost no one-on-one interactions at all between Cloud and Aerith. Such is not the case with Cloud and Tifa. In fact, right after defeating Abzu in the sewers, Cloud runs after Tifa, and asks her if what she’s saying is one of those slum lessons — continuing right where they left off.

Ch. 11 feels like a wink-wink nudge-nudge way to acknowledge the LTD. You have the infamous shot of the two girls on each of Cloud’s arms, and two scenes where Cloud appears as if he’s unable to choose between them when he asks them if they’re okay. Of course, in this same Chapter, you have a scene during the boss fight with the Phantom where Cloud actually pulls Tifa away from Aerith, leaving Aerith to defend herself, for an extended sequence where he tries to keep Tifa safe. This is not something SE would include if their intention is to keep Cloud’s romantic interest ambiguous or if Aerith is meant to be the one he loves. Of course, Ch. 11 is not the first we see of this trio’s dynamic. We start with Ch. 10, which is all about Aerith and Tifa’s friendship. Ch. 11 is a nod to the LTD dynamic in the OG, but it’s just that, a nod, not an indication the Remake is following the same path. Halfway through Ch. 11, the dynamic completely disappears.

Ch. 12 changes things up a bit from the OG. Instead of Cloud and Tifa ascending the pillar together, Cloud goes up first. Seemingly just so that we can have the dramatic slow-mo handgrab scene between the two of them when Tifa decides to run after Cloud — right after Aerith tells her to follow her heart.

The Remake also shows us what happens when Aerith goes to find Marlene at Seventh Heaven — including the moment when Aerith sees the flower she gave Cloud by the bar register, and Aerith is finally able to connect the dots. After seeing Cloud be so cagey about who he gave the flower to, and weird about his relationship with Tifa, and after seeing how Cloud and Tifa act around each other. It finally makes sense. She’s figured it out before they have. It’s a beautiful payoff to all that set up. Any other interpretation of Aerith’s reaction doesn’t make a lick of sense, because if it’s to indict she’s jealous of Tifa, where is all the set up for that? Why did the Remake eliminate all the moments from the OG where she had been noticeably jealous before? Without this, that interpretation makes about as much sense as someone arguing Aerith is smiling because she’s thinking about a great sandwich she had the night before. In case anyone is confused, the scene is preceded by a moment where Aerith tells Tifa to follow her heart before she goes after Cloud, and followed by the moment where Cloud catches Tifa via slow-motion handgrab.

On the pillar itself, there are so many added moments of Cloud showing his concern for Tifa’s physical and emotional well-being. Even when they find Jessie, as sad as Cloud is over Jessie’s death, the game actually spends more time showing us Cloud’s reaction to Tifa crying over Jessie’s death, and Cloud’s inability to comfort her. Since so much of this is physical rather than verbal, this couldn’t have effectively been shown in the OG with its technological limitations.

After the pillar collapses, we start off with a couple of other moments showing Cloud’s concern over Tifa — watching over her as she wakes, his dramatic fist clench while he watches Barret comfort Tifa in a way he cannot. There is also a subtle but important change in the dialogue. In the OG, Tifa is the one who tells Barret that Marlene is safe because she was with Aerith. Cloud is also on his way to Sector 5, but it’s for the explicit purpose of trying to save Aerith, which we know because Tifa asks. In the Remake, Tifa is too emotionally devastated to comfort Barret about Marlene. Cloud, trying to help in the only way he can, is now the one to tell Barret about Marlene. Leading them to Sector 5 is no longer about him trying to help Aerith, but about him reuniting Barret with his daughter. Again, another moment where Cloud shows concern about Aerith in the OG is eliminated from the Remake.

Rather than going straight from Aerith’s house to trying to figure out a way into the Shinra building to find Aerith, the group takes a detour to check out the ruins of Sector 7 and rescue Wedge from Shinra’s underground lab. It’s only upon seeing the evidence of Shinra’s inhumane experimentation firsthand that Cloud articulates to Elmyra the need to rescue Aerith. In the OG, they never sought out Elmyra’s permission, and Tifa explicitly asks to join Cloud on his quest. Rescuing Aerith is framed as primarily Cloud’s goal, Tifa and Barret are just along for the ride.

In the Remake, all three wait until Elymra gives them her blessing, and it’s framed (quite literally) as the group’s collective goal as opposed to just Cloud’s.

In the aptly named Ch. 14 resolutions, each marks the culmination of the character’s arc for the Part 1 of Remake. While their arcs are by no means complete, they do offer a nice preview of what their ultimate resolutions will be.

With the exception of Tifa’s, these resolutions are primarily about the character themselves. Their relationships with Cloud are secondary. Each resolution marks a change in the character themselves, but not necessarily a change in Cloud’s relationship with said character. Barret recommits to AVALANCHE’s mission and his role as a leader despite the deep personal costs. Aerith’s is full of foreshadowing as she accept her fate and impending death and decides to make the most of the time she has left. After trying to put aside her own feelings for the sake of others the whole time, Tifa finally allows herself to feel the full devastation of losing her home for the second time. Like her ultimate resolution in the Lifestream that we’ll see in about 25 years, Cloud is the only person she can share this sentiment with because he was the only person who was there.

Barret does not grow closer to Cloud through his resolution. Cloud has already proved himself to him by helping out on the pillar and reuniting him with Marlene. Barret resolution merely reveals that Barret is now comfortable enough with Cloud to share his past.

Similarly, Cloud starts off Aerith’s resolution with an intent to go rescue her, and ends with that intent still intact. Aerith is more open about her feelings here than before, it being a dream and all, but these feelings aren’t something that developed during this scene.

The only difference is during Tifa’s resolution. Cloud has been unable to emotionally comfort Tifa up until this point. It’s only when Tifa starts crying and rests her head upon his shoulder that he is able to make a change, to make a choice and hug her. Halfway through Tifa’s resolution, the scene shifts its focus to Cloud, his inaction and eventual action. Notably, the only time we have a close-up of any character during all three resolutions (I’ll define close-up here as a shot where a character’s face takes up half or more of the shot), are three shots of Cloud when he’s hugging/trying to hug Tifa. Tifa’s resolution is the only one where Cloud arcs.

What of the whole “You can’t fall in love with me” line in Aerith’s resolution? Why would SE include that if not to foreshadow Cloud falling in love with Aerith? Or indicate that he has already? Well, you can’t just take the dialogue on its own, you how to look at how these lines are framed. Notably, when she says “you can’t fall in love with me,” Aerith is framed at the center of the shot, and almost looks like she’s directly addressing the player. It’s as much a warning for the player as it is for Cloud, which makes sense if you know her fate in the OG.

This is followed directly by her saying “Even if you think you have…it’s not real.” In this shot, it’s back to a standard shot/reverse shot where she is the left third of the frame. She is addressing Cloud here, which, again if you’ve played the OG, is another bit of heavy foreshadowing. The reason Clould would think he might be in love with Aerith is because he’s falsely assuming of the memories of a man who did love Aerith — Zack.

For Cloud’s response (”Do I get a say in all this?”/ “That’s very one-sided” depending on the translation), rather than showing a shot of his face, the Remake shows him with his back turned.

Whatever Cloud’s feelings may be for Aerith, the game seems rather indifferent to them.

What is more telling is the choice to include a bit with Cloud getting jealous over a guy trying to give Tifa flowers in Barret’s resolution. Barret also mentions both Jessie and Aerith in their conversation, but nothing else gets such a reaction from Cloud.

It also should go without saying that if Aerith’s resolution is meant to establish Cloud and Aerith’s romance, there should have been plenty of set-up beforehand and plenty of follow-through afterward. That obviously is not the case, because again, the Remake has gone out of its way to avoid moments where Cloud’s actions towards Aerith could be interpreted romantically.

Case in point, at around this time in the OG, Marlene tells Cloud that she thinks Aerith likes him and the player has the option to have Cloud express his hope that she does. This scene is completely eliminated from the Remake and replaced with a much more appropriate scene of father-daughter affection between Marlene and Barret while Tifa and Cloud are standing together outside.

The method by which they get up the plate is completely different in the Remake. Leslie is the one who helps them this time around, and though his quest to reunite with his fiance directly parallels with the trio’s desire to save Aerith, Leslie himself draws a comparison to earlier when Cloud was trying to rescue Tifa. Finally, when Abzu is defeated again, it is Barret who draws the parallel of their search for Aerith to Leslie’s search for his fiance, making it crystal clear that saving Aerith is a group effort rather than only Cloud’s.

Speaking of Barret, in the OG, he seems to reassess his opinion of Cloud in the Shinra HQ stairs when he sees Cloud working so hard to save Aerith and realizes he might actually care about other people. In the Remake, that reevaluation occurs after you complete all the Ch. 14 sidequests and help a bunch of NPCs. Arguably, this moment occurs even earlier in the Remake for Barret, after the Airbuster, when he realizes that Cloud is more concerned for his and Tifa’s safety than his own.

Overall, the entire Aerith rescue feels so anticlimactic in the Remake. In the OG, Cloud gets his big hero moment in the Shinra Building. He’s the one who runs up to Aerith when the glass shatters and they finally reunite. In the Remake, it’s unclear what the emotional stakes are for Cloud here. At their big reunion, all we get from him is a “Yep.” In fact, when you look at how this scene plays out, Aerith is positioned equally between Cloud and Tifa at the moment of her rescue. Cloud’s answer is again with his back turned to the camera. It’s Tifa who gets her own shot with her response.

Another instance of the Remake being completely indifferent to Cloud’s feelings for Aerith, and actually priotizing Tifa’s relationship with Aerith instead.

It is also Tifa who runs to reunite with Aerith after the group of enemies is defeated. Another moment that could have easily been Cloud’s that the Remake gives to Tifa.

Also completely eliminated in the Remake, is the “I’m your bodyguard. / The deal was for one date” exchange in the jail cells. In the Remake, after Ch. 8, the date isn’t brought up again at all; “the bodyguard” reference only comes up briefly in Ch. 11 and then never again.

In the Remake, the jail scene is replaced by the scene in Aerith’s childhood room. Despite the fact that this is Aerith’s room, it is Tifa’s face that Cloud first sees when he wakes. What purpose does this moment serve other than to showcase Cloud and Tifa’s intimacy and the other characters’ tacit acknowledgment of said intimacy?

(This is the second time where Cloud wakes up and Tifa is the first thing he sees. The other was at Corneo’s mansion. He comes to three times in the Remake, but in Ch. 8, even though Aerith is right in front of him, we start off with a few seconds of Cloud gazing around the church before settling on the person in front of him. Again, while not something that most players would notice, this feels like a deliberate choice.)

Especially since this scene itself is all about Aerith. She begins a sad story about her past, and Cloud, rather than trying to comfort her in any way, asks her to give us some exposition about the Ancients. When the Whispers surround her, even though Cloud is literally right there, it's Tifa who pulls her out of it and comforts her. Another moment that could have been Cloud that was given to Tifa, and honestly, this one feels almost bizarre.

Throughout the entire Shinra HQ episode, Cloud and Aerith haven’t had a single moment alone to themselves. The Drums scenario is completely invented for the Remake. The devs could have contrived a way for Cloud and Aerith to have some one-on-one time here and work through the feelings they expressed during Aerith’s resolution if they wanted. Instead, with the mandatory party configurations during this stage - Cloud & Barret on one side; Tifa & Aerith on the others, with Cloud & Tifa being the respective team leaders communicating over PHS, the Remake minimizes the amount of interaction Cloud and Aerith have with each other in this chapter.

On the rooftop, before Cloud’s solo fight with Rufus, even though Cloud is ostensibly doing all this so that they can bring Aerith to safety, the Remake doesn’t include a single shot that focuses on Aerith’s face and her reaction to his actions. The game has decided, whatever Aerith’s feelings are in this moment, they’re irrelevant to the story they’re trying to tell. Instead we get shots focusing solely on Barret and Tifa. While the Remake couldn’t find any time to develop Cloud and Aerith’s relationship at the Shinra Tower (even though the OG certainly did), it did find time to add a new scene where Tifa saves Cloud from certain death, while referencing their Promise.

A lot of weird shit happens after this, but it’s pretty much all plot and no character. We do get one more moment where Cloud saves Tifa (and Tifa alone) from the Red Whisper even though Aerith is literally right next to her. The Remake isn’t playing coy at all about where Cloud’s preferences lie.

The party order for the Sephiroth battle varies depending on how you fought the Whispers. All the other character entrances (whoever the 3rd party member is, then the 4th and Red) are essentially the exact same shots, with the characters replaced. It’s the first character entrance (which can only be Aerith or  Tifa) that you have two distinct options.

If Aerith is first, the camera pans from Cloud over to Aerith. It then cuts back to Cloud’s reaction, in a separate shot, as Aerith walks to join him (offscreen). It’s only when the player regains control of the characters that Cloud and Aerith ever share the frame.

On the other hand, if Tifa is first, we see Tifa land from Cloud’s POV. Cloud then walks over to join Tifa and they immediately share a frame, facing Sephiroth together.

Again, this is not something SE would expect the player to notice the first or even second time around. Honestly, I doubt anyone would notice at all unless they watched all these variations back to back. That is telling in itself, that SE would go through all this effort (making these scenes unique rather than copy and pasting certainly takes more time and effort) to ensure that the depictions of Cloud’s relationships with these two women are distinct despite the fact that hardly anyone would notice. Even in the very last chapter of the game, they want us to see Cloud and Tifa as a pair and Cloud and Aerith as individuals.

Which isn’t to say that Aerith is being neglected in the Remake. Quite the opposite, in fact, when she has essentially become the main protagonist and the group’s spirtual leader in Ch. 18. Rather, her relationship with Cloud is no longer an essential part of her character. Not to mention, one of the very last shots of the Remake is about Aerith sensing Zack’s presence. Again, not the kind of thing you want to bring up if the game is supposed to show her being in love with Cloud.

What does it all mean????

Phew — now let’s step back and look and how the totality of these changes have reshaped our understanding of the story as a whole. Looking solely at the Midgar section of the OG, and ignoring everything that comes after it, it seems to tell a pretty straightforward story: Cloud is a cold-hearted jerk who doesn’t care about anyone else until he meets Aerith. It is through his relationship with Aerith that he begins to soften up and starts giving a damn about something other than himself. This culminates when he risks it all to rescue Aerith from the clutches of the game’s Big Bad itself, The Shinra Electric Company.

This was honestly the reason why I was dreading the Remake when I learned that it would only cover the Midgar segment. A game that’s merely an expansion of the Midgar section of the OG is probably going to leave a lot of people believing that Cloud & Aerith were the intended couple, and I didn’t want to wait years and perhaps decades for vindication after the Remake’s Lifestream Scene.

I imagine this very scenario is what motivated SE to make so many of these changes. In the OG, they could get away with misdirecting the audience for the first few hours of the game since the rest of the story and the reveals were already completed. The player merely had to pop in the next disc to get the real story. Such is not the case with the Remake. Had the the Remake followed the OG’s beats more closely, many players, including some who’ve never played the OG, would finish the Remake thinking that Cloud and Aerith were the intended couple. It would be years until they got the rest of the story, and at that point, the truth would feel much more like a betrayal. Like they’ve been cruelly strung along.

While they’ve gone out of their way to adapt most elements from the OG into the Remake, they’ve straight up eliminated many scenes that could be interpreted as Cloud’s romantic interest in Aerith. Instead, he seems much more interested in her knowledge as an Ancient than in her romantic affections. This is the path the Remake could be taking. Instead of Cloud being under the illusion of falling in love with Aerith, he’s under the illusion that the answer to his identity dilemma lies in Aerith’s Cetra heritage, when, of course, the answer was with Tifa all along.

Hiding Sephiroth’s existence during the Midgar arc isn’t necessary to telling the story of FF7, thus it’s been eliminated in the Remake. Similarly, pretending that Cloud and Aerith are going to end up together also isn’t necessary and would only confuse the player. Thus the LTD is no longer a part of the Remake.

If Aerith’s impact on Cloud has been diminished, what then is his arc in the Remake? Is it essentially just the same without the catalyst of Aerith? A cold guy at the start who eventually learns to care about others through the course of the game? Kind of, though arguably, this is who Remake!Cloud is all along, not just Cloud at the end of the Remake. Cloud is a guy who pretends to be a selfish jerk, but he deep down he really does care. He just doesn’t show this side of himself around people he’s unfamiliar with. So part of his arc in the Remake is opening up to the others, Barret, AVALANCHE and Aerith included, but these all span a chapter or two at most. They don’t straddle the entire game.

What is the throughline then? What is an area in which he exhibits continuous growth?

It’s Tifa. It’s his desire to fulfill his Promise to Tifa. Not just to protect her physically, but to be there for her emotionally, something that’s much harder to do. There’s the big moments like when he remembers the Promise in Ch. 4., his dramatic fist clench when he can’t stop Tifa from crying in Ch. 12, and in Ch. 13 when he watches Barret comfort Tifa. It’s all the flashbacks he has of her and the times he’s felt like he failed her. It’s the smaller moments where he can sense her nervousness and unease but the only thing he knows how to do is call her name. It’s all those times during battle, where Tifa can probably take care of herself, but Cloud has to save her because he can’t fail her again. All of this culminates in Tifa’s Resolution, where Tifa is in desperate need of comfort, and is specifically seeking Cloud’s comfort, and Cloud has no idea what to do. He hesitates because he’s clueless, because he doesn’t want to fuck it up, but finally, he makes the choice, he takes the risk, and he hugs her….and he kind of fucks it up. He hugs her too hard. Which is a great thing, because this arc isn’t anywhere close to being over. There’s still so much more to come. So many places this relationship will go.

We get a little preview of this when Tifa saves Cloud on the roof. Everything we thought we knew about their relationship has been flipped on its head. Tifa is the one saving Cloud here, near the end of this part of the Remake. Just as she will save Cloud in the Lifestream just before the end of the FF7 story as a whole. What does Tifa mean to Cloud? It’s one of the first questions posed in the Remake, and by the end, it remains unanswered.

Cloud’s character arc throughout the entire FF7 story is about his reconciling with his identity issues. This continues to develop through the Shinra Tower Chapters, but it certainly isn’t going to be resolved in Part 1 of the Remake. His character arc in the Remake — caring more about others/finding a way to finally comfort Tifa — is resolved in Ch. 14, well before rescuing Aerith, which is what makes her rescue feel so anticlimactic. The resolution of this external conflict isn’t tied to the protagonist’s emotional arc. This was not the case in the OG. I’m certainly not complaining about the change, but the Remake probably would have felt more satisfying as a whole if they hewed to the structure of the OG. Instead, it seems that SE has prioritized the clarity of the Remake series as a whole (leaving no doubt about where Cloud’s affections lie) over the effectiveness of the “climax” in the first entry of the Remake.

This is all clear if you only focus on the “story” of the Remake -- i.e., what the characters are saying and doing. If you extend your lens to the presentation of said story, and here I’m talking about who the game chooses to focus on during the scenes, how long they hold on these shots, which characters share the frame, which do not, etc --- it really could not be more obvious.

Does the camera need to linger for over 5 seconds on Cloud staring at the door after wishing Tifa goodnight? Does it need to find Cloud almost every time Tifa says or does anything so that we’re always aware of his watchfulness and the nature of his care? The answer is no until you realize this dynamic is integral to telling the story of Final Fantasy VII.

I don’t see how anyone who compares the Remake to the OG could come away from it thinking that the Remake series is going to reverse all of the work done in the OG and Compilation by having Cloud end up with Aerith.

Just because the ending seems to indicate that the events of the OG might not be set in stone, it doesn’t mean that the Remake will end with Aerith surviving and living happily ever after with Cloud. Even if Aerith does live (which again seems unlikely given the heavy foreshadowing of her death in the Remake), how do you come away from the Remake thinking that Cloud is going to choose Aerith over Tifa when SE has gone out of its way to remove scenes between Cloud and Aerith that could be interpreted as romantic? And gone out of its way to shove Cloud’s feelings for Tifa in the player’s face? The sequels would have to spend an obscene amount of time not only building Cloud and Aerith’s relationship from scratch, but also dismantling Cloud’s relationship with Tifa. It would be an absolute waste of time and resources, and there’s really no way to do so without making the characters look like assholes in the process.

Now could this happen? Sure, in the sense that literally anything could happen in the future. But in terms of outcomes that would make sense based on what’s come before, this particular scenario is about as plausible as Cloud deciding to relinquish his quest to find Sephiroth so that he can pursue his real dream of becoming at sandwich artist at Panera Bread.

It’s over! I promise!

Like you, I too cannot believe the number of words I’ve wasted on this subject. What is there left to say? The LTD doesn’t exist outside of the first disc of the OG. You'll only find evidence of SE perpetuating the LTD if you go into these stories with the assumption that 1) The LTD exists 2) it remains unanswered. But it’s not. We know that Cloud ends up with Tifa.

What the LTD has become is dissecting individual scenes and lines of dialogue, without considering the context of said things, and pretending as if the outcome is unknown and unknowable. If you took this tact to other aspects of FF7’s story, then it would be someone arguing that because there a number of scenes in the OG that seem to suggest that Meteor will successfully destroy the planet, this means that the question of whether or not our heroes save the world in the end is left ambiguous. No one does that because that would be utterly absurd. Individual moments in a story may suggest alternate outcomes to build tension, to keep us on our toes, but that doesn’t change the ending from being the ending. Our heroes stop Meteor. Cloud loves Tifa. Arguments against either should be treated with the same level of credulity (i.e., none).

It’s frustrating that the LTD, and insecurities about whether or not Cloud really loves Tifa, takes up so much oxygen in any discussion about these characters. And it’s a damn shame, because Cloud and Tifa’s relationship is so rich and expansive, and the so-called “LTD” is such a tiny sliver of that relationship, and one of the least interesting aspects. They’re wonderful because they’re just so damn normal. Unlike other Final Fantasy couples, what keeps them apart is not space and time and death, but the most human and painfully relatable emotion of all, fear. Fear that they can’t live up to the other’s expectations; fear that they might say the wrong thing. The fear that keeps them from admitting their feelings at the Water Tower, they’re finally able to overcome 7 years later in the Lifestream. They’re childhood friends but in a way they’re also strangers. Like other FF couples, we’re able to watch their entire relationship grow and unfold before our eyes. But they have such a history too, a history that we unravel with them at the same time. Every moment of their lives that SE has found worth depicting, they’ve been there for each other, even if they didn’t know it at the time. Theirs is a story that begins and ends with each other. Their is the story that makes Final Fantasy VII what it is.

If you’ve made it this far, many thanks for reading. I truly have no idea how to use this platform, so please direct any and all hatemail to my DMs at TLS, which I will then direct to the trash. (In all seriousness, I’d be happy to answer any specific questions you may have, but I feel like I’ve more than said my piece here.)

If there’s one thing you take away from this, I hope it’s to learn to ignore all the ridiculous arguments out there, and just enjoy the story that’s actually being told. It’s a good one.

#cloti

[bothcreativitybois]

The Mayors Sweet Treat Chapter 5

Wordcount: 2430

Ship: Intruality

TWs: Food, dog, swearing, sexual references, spicy thoughts (not smutty)

Chapters: 1 2 3 4

Taglist: @crazydemigod666 @star-crossed-shipper @idont-freaking-know @someoneiwasnt @seraphiie @the-sympathetic-villain @cute-and-angsty-princess @lonelymuffin @bloodymari-0666 @im-an-anxious-wreck @newtnotfound @fantasticallytired @obsessive-fallen-angel

“You’re good!” Patton shouted as Remus backed into the narrow driveway next to the bakery. His truck was filled with paints, tools, hardware supplies and a very happy looking dog. Janus stood by watching to make sure Remus didn’t hit anything. When The truck was backed in enough Remus killed the engine and jumped out, Patton rushed up to the tray of the truck and began petting the dog. Cain happily soaked up the love, Remus began hauling items out of the truck. “Who are you baby? You’re adorable!” Patton cooed, Remus smiled and Janus rolled his eyes.

“His name is Cain.” Remus said and grunted as he pulled out a metal tool box. “If you scratch his chin he’ll never leave you alone.”

“He also eats my food and doesn’t pay rent so I wouldn’t mind that.” Janus added. Cain jumped out of the truck and Patton knelt down to scratch his chin as instructed. Cain put up his head and closed his eyes.

“Oh you’re so cute! I love you!” Patton continued, Remus couldn’t stop watching him. The little dimples in his cheeks, how much love was in his eyes when he looked at Cain, Remus wondered what it would be like to have Patton look at him like that. His mind raced back to the thoughts he had a few days ago.

“Damn, you’re so cute.” Patton whispered as he bit his lip. Remus was on top of Patton and his hair perfectly fell around Patton’s face, creating a tunnel for just the two of them. Remus lent down and pressed his forehead against Patton’s, both men closing their eyes. Remus’ breath caught in his throat which caused him to let out a small noise. “I lo-.”

Remus was brought back with a pinch to his ribs.

“Ow, what the fuck?” Remus exclaimed as he swatted away Janus’ hand. These thoughts were getting out of hand. Yes they were fun but very distracting and uncontrollable.

“Roman told me to do it if you got distracted.” Janus shrugged and walked away with a crate of spray paints. Patton felt guilty for not doing anything, he joined Remus at the back of the truck.

“What can I do?” Patton asked. Remus looked around a moment, not sure how much Patton could carry.

“Uh, can you get that ladder for Janus?” Remus replied. “Only if you can.” Remus worried. Patton smiled smugly. He leant forward and dragged the ladder out, easily carrying it with one hand. He walked past Remus just as Janus walked back over.

“I carry ten kilo bags of flour two at a time.” Patton looked back and flashed a smile. “Don’t worry about me, honey.” Patton walked away and Remus followed half stammering some apologies. 

Jan: Just talk to him ffs he looks incapable of hurting you 

Virgil sat on the kitchen counter while Patton ran around grabbing ingredients, Janus and Remus were working in the other room. Virgil balanced a phone between his shoulder and ear, hold music played loudly from it.

“What are they saying?” Patton whispered. Virgil put up a finger as a signal to wait.

“That makes no sense, you would’ve known the location before taking the order. If it was too remote you shouldn’t have taken the order in the first place.” The voice began again but it wasn’t long before Virgil interrupted. “No, I understand but you should have contacted him, or at the least gave him an answer instead of bouncing him between numbers. Will we be getting a refund?” Virgil swung his legs off the table as the voice spoke more, Patton began dropping ingredients into a mixer. “That isn’t how it works, your contract said you’d deliver th-” Virgil was cut off by the voice followed with a disconnect sound. He threw down his phone and pressed his hands to his face. He took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair.

“They don’t have my sign do they?” Patton asked sadly. Remus walked over to the kitchen entrance to listen in. 

“No they have it, but they won’t deliver to such a remote location. It’s at a warehouse in the city. They’ll refund the delivery fee but you have to pick up the sign yourself.” Virgil explained. Patton put down the top of the mixer and clicked it on before turning to Virgil.

“How? My car is tiny!” Patton panicked, Remus quickly moved to him and put a hand on his shoulder as comfort.

“It’s alright.” Remus soothed. “I’ll go get it for you tomorrow.” Patton felt guilty. All these people were so quick to help him but he had nothing to give in return.

“No I need you for the picnic.” Patton reminded him. Remus had influence and in his own way always knew what he was doing, that made Patton feel comfortable. The confidence he exuded was…

“I’ll go get it now then.” Remus suggested. He took out some keys and spun them around his finger. “Virge, message me the address.” Remus liked long drives, they helped him think. And with everything that was happening, the thoughts he was having, he could use some time to think. Patton looked around, seeing who he would be left alone with. He didn’t have a problem with making friends usually but two people he’d just met?

“I can’t ask you to do that, Remus.” Patton said, hoping Remus would catch the hint. Unfortunately he didn’t.

“It’s all good, just watch Cain for me until I’m back. He doesn’t like long drives.” Remus informed as he walked out the door. The elderly cattle dog padded up to Patton and leant on his leg, his innocent puppy eyes were very different to his owner's devilish gleam. Patton wanted to scratch him but needed to check his batter.

Quite a few minutes of awkward silence went by. Patton tasted his batter and added some more tweaks, Janus used a thick lead pencil to sketch a drawing to paint over and Virgil did… something on his phone. Janus looked into the kitchen, Virgil looked awkwardly across at Patton. He sighed. Virgil wasn’t the biggest fan of new people and Patton clearly was caught off guard with Remus’ dramatic exit. Janus pulled out his phone and texted Virgil.

Virgie: hnnngg social anxiety

Jan: Just ask if he needs help!

“How much business can a sign company have?” Virgil complained, Patton laughed across the room. Finally the hold music halted and Patton heard a voice drone through the phone. “Hello, I am calling on behalf of Froggy And Doggy Bakery. We ordered a sign last year and it still hasn’t arrived.” Virgil said in a professional voice. The person on the other end typed some stuff then told him something. Patton put down the eggs he had in his hands and rushed in front of Virgil.

Virgil looked over at Janus who nodded gently in response, Virgil took a deep breath.

“Patton?” Virgil said across the room. Patton looked up from mixing some flavours through the batter. “Is there… can I help?” Virgil mumbled. Patton wasn’t surprised anymore, he began thinking maybe all the tall men in this town had an agenda to kill him with favours. He giggled and pointed to a few aprons on a hook.

“Grab one and come over here.” Patton smiled. Virgil walked to the hook and pulled off a pink apron, he tied it up and joined Patton at the mixer. Patton pulled out a toothpick and dipped it in the mixture before thrusting it to Virgil. “Try this.” Virgil took the stick and licked off the batter. The delicate and fluffy batter had a strong punch of lemon and vanilla. The flavours tingled the back of Virgil’s jaw.

“That’s nice but maybe a little… strong.” Virgil shared. Patton laughed and took back the toothpick to throw away.

“The flavour will dilute after baking, it has to be strong or you won’t taste it.” Patton clarified. He threw the toothpick into the sink and rummaged in a draw, pulling out some dainty white mini cupcake papers and a large patty cake tray. “Can you put one paper in each tray? I have to take out the meringues." Patton looked across the room to see Janus had abandoned the drawing and was in the kitchen entrance. Patton walked across to the oven and pulled out a tray of cute pastel pink meringues shaped like flat roses. Virgil began dropping the papers into the tray. The large tray probably had two dozen holes, each no bigger than an inch in diameter. Janus leant down to pet Cain while the others worked. Patton used a spatula to scrape off the sweet treats and place them in a plastic container. Janus watched Patton's hands, how smoothly he scraped off a meringue with one thrust and gently laid it on top of the others in the container. It looked effortless yet Janus was sure if he tried he'd snap at least half of them in two. Patton noticed Janus staring from the corner of his eye, he tried his best to stay calm and focus. Meringues were small and light, which means they're easy to crush. He was thankful he had Virgil to take care of the patty cake papers so he could focus and take his time. Patton placed the last meringue in the container and looked up in time to see Virgil place the last paper. 

He’s really nice albeit a little dry and blunt.

"Thanks. I'll put in the batter to make sure they all have the right amount." Patton thanked. Virgil nodded and looked up at Janus, he smiled smugly.

“Wrist is tired, needed a break.” Janus opposed in a friendly tone. “Also couldn’t miss you wearing that cute pink apron.” Janus chuckled as he turned around his phone to show a picture of Virgil in the apron holding the small cake papers, Patton also stifled a laugh. Virgil took off the apron and hung it back up.

“Send that to anyone and I’ll add another 10 hours to your community service.” Virgil warned.

“Too late.” Janus smirked. “Officer Honeycutt loves seeing her recovered little delinquent.”

“Well we can’t all be teenagers graffitiing forever.” Virgil shot back. Patton looked up.

“Who is Officer Honeycutt?” Patton asked, both boys looked over like they had forgotten he was there.

“My mother.” Janus said as he put away his phone. “Don’t worry, she doesn’t give anyone trouble. Most she’ll do ya for is drunk and disorderly but you don’t seem that type.” Virgil and Janus laughed, but it felt friendly. Not like laughing at Patton but joking with him. He laughed too.

“And Virgil does?” Patton joked, both men laughed again and shared a look.

“You’d be surprised what he used to get up too.” Janus eluded. Virgil hit him in the shoulder and picked up his bag. Patton’s nerves had disappeared, he wasn’t sure when but they were gone.

“I’m going to get myself a coffee and take Cain out for a bathroom break.” Virgil announced before turning to point at Janus. “Play nice.” Janus smirked.

“How nice exactly?” Janus asked mischievously. Virgil gave him a serious stare, Janus put up his hands in surrender. “Alright!” He surrendered. Virgil left with Cain and suddenly Patton was alone with Janus. He had no problem with Janus but out of all the friends Patton had met he seemed the most critical. Or more accurately, most straightforward with his judgement. Patton began scooping batter into the papers with two metal spoons. Janus entered the kitchen and sat on a counter, closely watching. Patton was a man in chains, facing the judge and waiting for his sentence. Remus’ voice echoed through his head.

Patton tried his best to focus. Everything would be fine.

“What makes you think Remus is so sexy?” Janus said suddenly and plainly. Patton dropped the spoons in shock and batter splattered over a few of the papers. His face burned a furious red. Patton looked back at Janus who was unfazed. “Is it his moustache?”

“Shouldn’t you be drawing?” Virgil teased as Patton gathered more items.

“That- I don’t-” Patton tried as he shakily recovered the spoons. His head raced. He didn’t think of Remus like that… did he? Even if he did he was too busy to make a move. And with everything that happened with his last partner he wasn’t sure if he was ready to move on. He attempted to gather all his thoughts into a sentence. “I don’t have time to think of Remus like that and he doesn’t think of me that way either so what’s the point?” He hoped that answer was good enough. He cleared his mind and went back to scooping batter.

“Funny, most people don’t answer when I ask them stuff like that.” Janus remarked. “They usually tell me not to ask stuff like that or refuse to answer.” Janus laughed slightly.

“I’m sure you mean well.” Patton answered. “Maybe you’re trying to protect Remus, maybe you’re trying to get to know my taste, or maybe you’re just curious. But I don’t think you’re asking for malicious intent.” Patton turned around and gave Janus a reassuring smile, he looked away.

“And how do you know that?” Janus pressed. Patton put down the spoons and picked up the tray of batter.

“You don’t seem that type.” Patton repeated with a wink. He adjusted the heat on the oven and slid in the tray all the while Janus watched him in thought.

“What if you did have the time?” Janus asked abruptly. “To think of Remus.” Patton took a moment. He brought up thoughts of Remus, thoughts where he wasn’t worried about the bakery or his mother. He smiled as he ran the scenarios through his head.

“Yeah, maybe something could happen.” Patton admitted. “But like I said, I’m pretty sure Remus doesn’t think of me that way.” He didn’t even know if Remus was into guys. He’d made the mistake of assuming that before, it didn’t turn out well.

“Interesting.” Janus muttered as he walked back to the wall he was sketching on. “Remus isn’t easy to deal with sometimes. He’s loud, will do his best to annoy you and is unpredictable. But he seems to have taken a liking to you, so here’s a little advice: set up your boundaries or he’ll tear right through you.” Janus’ advice seemed bittersweet but it did get Patton thinking.

Remus seemed gentle with him so far, was that good or bad?

#the mayor's sweet treat #sanders sides small town au #roman took over #intruality au #sanders sides #sanders sides au #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #ts remus #remus sanders #ts patton #patton sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #ts virgil #virgil sanders #food tw #dog tw #intruality

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Emma's Reckless Dating Game by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Chapter 1 of 1

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Emma’s Reckless Dating Game

Emma’s head was pounding the moment she opened her eyes, a loud groan escaping her throat. She heard her roommate in the kitchen, the saccharine sounds of humming that should be illegal this early in the morning.

How much did she drink last night?

She can’t honestly remember after the fourth shot of tequila. They had been celebrating her best friend’s upcoming wedding to Emma’s brother, David.

Back in her freshman year of college, she remembered meeting Mary Margaret and immediately realizing she was the perfect match for her older brother. Of course, she was right, the two fell for each other almost at the first meeting. M’s couldn’t stop talking about how funny her brother was, how cute his eyes were when he laughed, or how much she loved the little curl at the back of his neck.

It was all disgusting and so very perfect.

If she hadn’t been so happy for them, she would have been nauseous. Though perhaps it was more from being jealous of what they had. Emma hadn’t exactly had any luck in the boyfriend department, in fact, if she were being honest, her dating life had pretty much been a disaster. Honestly, she couldn’t even lie to herself to make it seem any better.

If Mr. Right was out there somewhere, Emma was sure that by now he must have gotten lost or hit by a bus, because he sure wasn’t interested in finding her.

“It’s about time you got out of bed.”

Emma groaned, sitting down at the kitchen table. “I know you drank about as much as I did last night, how are you still so cheerful this morning?”

“I didn’t drink half as much as you did, but I have always held my liquor better than you.” She added cheerily.

“I guess I’m just not as lucky as you.” She said with a frown.

“Don’t start that, one day you’re gonna find someone, the perfect…”

“I know, I know, M’s, the perfect person who comes along at just the right moment, yada yada yada. You’ve been telling me this for years.” She drank her coffee as her friend simply rolled her eyes.

“It will happen for you; you just need to be patient.”

“I’m tired of being patient, I’d prefer a mind-blowing orgasm.”

“Emma.” Her friend reprimanded her.

“Don’t tell me it isn’t true, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of being in the next room when my brother comes over to cheeryou up. It still haunts my nightmares.”

“Oh God, you never told me you could hear us.”

“David isn’t exactly quiet. Oh baby, sing for me.” She mimicked in a deep voice as her friend’s cheeks reddened and she buried her face in her hands. “Don’t worry, I’m a big girl.”

“All you have to do is ask David, I’m sure he could set you up with one of his friends.”

Emma laughed loudly. “I think I’ll pass. David has terrible taste in friends.”

“Don’t judge everyone based on your feelings about Killian Jones.”

Killian Jones…

Her brother’s best friend and her constant nemesis. If Emma were in a superhero movie, she was sure that Killian Jones would be the villain trying to take her down and destroy the world, hellbent on revenge for his terrible outlook on life. At least that’s how Emma saw him, the rest of her friends were blinded by his blue eyes, persistent demeanor, and his ridiculous sarcastic quips.

Killian and David had been friends since elementary school, back when Emma was still wearing pig tails and braces. Her first memories of Killian were of him tugging her hair as he called an annoying brat. When he first started coming around, Emma thought he was cute, he had a pair of blue eyes that made her blush when he would stare at her, but as soon as he opened his mouth, his voice always dripping with sarcasm and insult, she quickly tired of him.

“I’m not dancing with him.” She announced angrily.

“Emma, it’s a tradition that the maid of honor and best man share a dance. You’ve danced with worse men than Killian.” She teased.

She groaned. “No one is worse than Killian Jones.”

~*~

10 years ago

“That’s a nice dress, though it would look better on my floor.” Emma rolled her eyes in annoyance at the man seated across from her at the bar. She had been set up with Walsh two nights ago by one of her college friends. He came from money; she could tell from the way he talked down to the waiter and basically anyone they had come into contact with that evening.

“This is only our second date; pretty sure I’m supposed to give you something to look forward to for next time.” She joked.

“I could imagine a lot of things to come back for.” His hand pressed again her thigh as she felt his fingertips slip under the hem of her dress. She slid her hand under the table and stilled his movement.

“Slow down there, Romeo.” She joked nervously as his hand retreated, a flash of anger in his eyes before it was gone, and a smile spread across his face.

“Let’s order some wine.” He lifted his hand, calling over the waiter to order something in French. He was quick to tell her how rare the wine was, one bottle cost more than three payments on her Volkswagen, a fact that was more disgusting to her than impressive. When they arrived at his place hours later, her head swimming in drink and chocolate, she shifted nervously on the couch as his fingers tried to invade her body. She pushed him back, trying to stop the attack of roving hands.

“Don’t fight it Emma, you know this is meant to be.” He growled against her ear. Her heart was pounding, her eyes looking wildly around the room for an escape.

“Bathroom.” She said quickly. “I need to freshen up.” She said as she stood from her spot on the couch, his hands gripping her arm so tightly she was sure it would leave a bruise. “I want to look my best.” She added, forcing a smile onto her face.

Locking the door behind her the moment he let her escape, she quickly dialed her brother’s number.

“You’ve reached David Nolan, I’m not available right now…”

“Dammit.” She growled, punching in her best friend’s number.

“It’s Mary, I’m not available, leave a message and have a blessed day…”

Emma ran down her contact list, each person either unavailable or someone she was no longer speaking to. She settled on the last name on her list, the one person she had no interest in seeking help from. Dialing the number, she held her breath.

“This better be important.” The voice growled into her ear.

“Killian?”

“You’ve got him, who’s this?”

“It’s Emma. Emma Nolan.” She said quietly.

“Emma? What the bloody hell are you calling me for?”

“Trust me, you were my last choice.” She said with a groan. “But I can’t reach David, and I need…I need a ride.”

“Do you know what bloody time it is?”

“Yeah I know, but I’m…”

“Look, I’m kind of in the middle of something right now…”She heard a woman’s voice in the background and rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, look just forget I called.”

There was silence on the other end before she heard another audible sigh. “Where do you need a ride to?”

“I was on a date, but I need to get home.”

“Then bloody ask the bloke to take you home.”

“I would but he’s…”

“Where are you?” He interrupted in annoyance.

“I’m at his house.” She whispered as she heard someone approaching the bathroom door.

“Emma, it’s late, how long does it take for you to get naked? I’m getting tired of waiting and I honestly don’t care what you look like right now.” Walsh’s voice boomed through from the other room.

“Who the hell is that?” Killian inquired on the other end of the line.

“Walsh Ozman.” She said quietly. “I um, I’ll be right out.” She hollered to the door.

“What the fuck are you doing at Walsh Ozman’s house?”Killian said angrily.

“Look, I don’t have time to argue with you right now. Just forget it…”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes, just stay in the bathroom.” His voice was flat, annoyance in his inflection, but she could tell that there was no arguing with him as he hung up the phone.

She paced the floor of the bathroom, ignoring Walsh’s building anger from the other side of the locked door. When she heard the doorbell her heartbeat raced. She held her ear to the door, hearing a murmur on the other side. She unlocked the door and slipped into the hallway, listening as Walsh raised his voice.

“I think you’re mistaken, Jones, I don’t believe anyone needs you here.”

“I disagree.” Killian’s voice sounded angry. “Where’s Emma?”

Emma walked quickly toward the door, grabbing her purse from the couch. “Killian.” Emma said with a smile.

“Emma, what the fuck.” Walsh turned toward her, grabbing her by the arm. “Did you call this asshole?”

Emma flinched, looking down at his hand on her arm. “I forgot; I have a test in the morning. Killian offered to take me home.” The grip on her arm tightened and Emma panicked.

“I think we have some business to finish first. I’ll take you home after.” He said through gritted teeth.

“I don’t think you understood me earlier.” Killian’s voice boomed from behind them. “I’m here to take Emma home.” He stepped toward Walsh. “Now.”

Emma yanked her arm free, stepping quickly to stand behind Killian. His eyes never left Walsh as he spoke. “Why don’t you wait by my bike, Swan.” Emma didn’t flinch at the use of the stupid nickname he had for her, she didn’t wait another second as she rushed out the door, speeding down the sidewalk toward Killian’s motorcycle. She waited for what felt like minutes or hours until Killian stormed angrily out of the house, grabbing his helmet before mounting the bike. He looked back at her impatiently and she quickly climbed on behind him as he pulled away from the curb, speeding off into the night.

The moment he parked in front of her dorm she climbed off the bike. “Does David know you went out with him?” He asked angrily.

“He’s my brother not my dad.” She remarked sarcastically.

Killian shook his head in annoyance. “Stay away from Ozman.”

“You aren’t my keeper, either.” She glared.

“Look I don’t give a fuck who you date, but even you should have some sort of standard, love.”

She blew out an annoying sigh. “You’re gonna talk to me about standards. Which bimbo were you with tonight?”

“At least I didn’t need to call in a favor in order to escape from my date.” He glared, stepping toward her. “It’s all just a big game to you isn’t it? Emma’s reckless dating game.”

“Oh, go to hell, Jones.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Ozman’s bad news, Swan. Stay away from him.”

Emma frowned, she knew tonight was bad, her senses had been tingling the moment Walsh drove them back to his place, but Killian Jones was the last person she wanted giving her advice about dating. “Like you stayed away from Milah?” She spat and he stepped back on his heels.

“You know what, Swan, fuck you.”

“You wish.” She shot back.

He stepped into her space, the blue of his eyes almost a darkened black as he stared into her. “Not if you were the last piece of ass on earth.” He narrowed his eyes. “Besides, I don’t do blondes.”

“Please, you couldn’t handle it.”

“Perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it.” He dared as his eyes danced angrily.

Emma squared her shoulders, meeting his eyes in defiance. “You are the biggest asshole I have ever met.”

“Do me a favor, the next time your date turns out to be a dick, call a cab.” He slammed his helmet on his head, mounting his bike and speeding off into the dark.

~*~

Emma pushed the silver stick into her curls, the round pearl sitting on top of one of her golden tresses tucked against her head. She stood back, admiring herself in the mirror. At least the dress didn’t have ruffles, she thought, examining the light pink fabric swishing around her legs.

She heard fussing behind her and turned to see Mary Margaret tugging at her dress. “Stop that. You’re going to rip it.”

“God I’m so nervous.” Her friend said anxiously.

“It’s just David.” She laughed. “And you really like David.”

The ceremony was beautiful, Emma barely registered the look of disdain from Killian as he stood on the other side of her brother, his eyes staring a hole into her head. She returned his glance more than once, defiance in her eyes as she dared him to look away.

She didn’t have time for whatever had crawled up Killian’s ass and pissed him off. She was just happy for her brother and her best friend.

Sitting at the table, she quickly finished her first glass of wine, an injection of courage or tolerance for her upcoming dance with the man who had more than once caused her grief already this evening. The clanging of glasses pulled her from her thoughts as Killian stood beside her brother, raising his glass for his toast.

“David has always been a brother to me, someone I trusted with my life, which was probably good since we seemed to find ourselves in peril many times in college.” Her brother laughed and his wife elbowed him playfully. “David and I were doing quite well on our own, in college we were Gods.” He said, extending his arms wide. Emma rolled her eyes. “When I first met Mary, I knew those days would soon be over.” He smiled at her new sister-in-law. “I tried to be angry about it, but the damned woman is a marvel.” He smiled at her friend. “Who could be angry when your best friend finds the love of his life?” Killian raised his glass, his eyes momentarily locking with hers, the hair on her neck standing on end for a moment. “To finding the love of your life.” He placed his glass to his lips and sipped, glancing down at his brother and Mary Margaret as they toasted each other.

Emma shook off the odd sensation forming in her gut, looking away from Killian to collect her thoughts before it was her turn to speak.

“See he’s not such a bad guy.” Her friend whispered in her ear. “That was quite lovely.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Anyone can say nice words after a few drinks.” She teased as she stood from her seat. “Well, I’m not sure I can follow such a moving speech.” She said sarcastically, a small smirk on her lips as Killian’s eyes met hers. “I grew up my whole life around boys.” She smiled. “My brother and his friends tortured me endlessly.” David winked at Killian. “When I met Mary Margaret, I thought…finally, finally I have an ally.” She laughed. “Turns out she wasn’t just the person I needed to find, more than a sister I could share my secrets with, she was also destined to find her true love, with the man who would permanently make us sisters. I couldn’t have hoped for a better person for my brother, I hope you are both happy for the rest of your lives, no one deserves it more.”

Emma leaned over and hugged her friend. “I guess I have to share her now.” She laughed as her brother stood and hugged her.

The lights dimmed as the dancing began, she watched her brother and her best friend take to the floor arm in arm, a beautiful first dance as man and wife. When she heard her name announced over the speaker she stood and sighed, looking over at the man on the other end of the table.

“Come, love.” He held out his arm and she brushed past him, ignoring his gesture and storming toward the dance floor, turning once she reached the edge of the floor.

“Let’s get this over with already, Jones.” She complained with her arms crossed against her chest.

“As you wish.” He groaned, pulling her into his arms. “Relax, love. This doesn’t have to be painful.” He rolled his eyes.

“Trust me, it’s already painful.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and Emma felt the warmth as he pulled her against his chest.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, I’m actually an excellent dancer.” He said with a smirk. “Unlike your two left feet.” He looked down between them as she tripped over his shoes.

“Whatever, dancing is stupid.”

“Dancing is simple, there’s only one rule, pick a partner who knows what he’s doing.” He guided her around the dance floor, nodding to her brother as he glided them past the couple dancing in the center. Emma tried to ignore the way it felt being held by Killian Jones, the man who had brought her nothing but anger and annoyance for years.

She watched the way his eyes flitted around the room, never landing on hers, almost as if he were purposely avoiding her gaze, yet the hand at her waist firmly gripped her, fingers hot against the flesh at her back. She wasn’t sure if it was the dance or his touch that was causing her body to overheat. When the song ended she stepped away from him quickly. “I need a drink.”

“Aye.” He responded. “I think I’ll join you in that.”

She expected to hate his company, to find him his usual abhorrent self, but the festivities seemed to have him in a mood that was at least tolerable. The next hour was spent taking turns downing as many shots as they could handle, almost as if they were challenging the other to stop. When Emma took her last shot, she felt the world around the man in front of her blur. Blue eyes swirling in her vision. “I uh need…” She placed her hand at his chest as she tried to stop the world from spinning.

“What do you need, Emma.” He asked, his voice deep and full of innuendo as the corner of his mouth turned upward in a smirk. Emma could feel herself leaning toward him. His tongue darted out to wet his lips and Emma felt the urge to pull his mouth to hers.

“Bathroom, I need a bathroom.” She stuttered, slipping off her stool and stumbling quickly away from the man at the bar who’s eyes she felt still on her as she turned the corner.

She stood in front of the mirror staring at her blurry reflection. “He’s Killian Jones. Asshole extraordinaire.” She warned herself. “Even you don’t need to get laid that badly.” Sure, it had been a few years since she’d had a really good orgasm given to her from anyone besides herself, but whatever Killian Jones could provide her would not be worth the headache it would cause later. Squaring her shoulders, she splashed water on her face and reentered the reception hall.

As she turned the corner she saw her brother standing next to Killian, lost in conversation. As she got closer to them, she could hear their voices.

“Come on man, I’ve seen the way you look at Emma.”

“Piss off, she’s a pain in the arse. I only think of her as an annoying child. She’s never been anything but trouble.”

“So that’s why you’ve always been the one to run to her aid whenever she finds that trouble?”

“Twice. I’ve only done that twice.”

Emma furrowed her brow. Twice, she could only remember one time he had come to her aid, the night with Walsh.

“Yeah well if it wasn’t for you she might still be with that asshole, Cassidy.”

Cassidy? Emma thought. That didn’t make any sense. Killian barely even acknowledge Neal much less assisted her with anything when it came to him. Suddenly her brother noticed her approaching and he patted Killian on the shoulder. “Well, I better get back to my wife.” He said with a bow, leaving Killian at the counter. As he passed he nodded in her direction. “Don’t drink too much, sis.” He teased.

Killian turned toward her as she approached. Emma sat down at the counter, picking up her glass and downing the liquid before turning toward him.

“What do you think happened to Walsh?” She asked suddenly.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Walsh, you know that guy I went out with right out of high school.”

“Why the fuck do you care what happened to him, please tell me you aren’t interested in reacquainting yourself with him?”

“I dunno, I guess I’m just being a bit introspective seeing as we’re at a wedding and I’m still not married.”

“Trust me, you didn’t want to marry a guy like Walsh Ozman.”

“I bet he’s got a shit ton of money now.” She laughed.

“Never known you to give a fuck about money, Swan.”

“I was always curious, but I never asked. What didyou say to him after I left the house that night?”

She recognized the obvious flinch, but he refused to look at her. “What?”

“To Walsh? You stayed in there for a while after I left, what did you say to him, cuz anytime he saw me on campus after that night, he ran the other direction.”

He laughed nervously and took a drink of his beer. “I don’t remember.” He deflected.

“Bullshit.” Emma spat and Killian pulled his drink from his lips.

“Perhaps I told him that it was in his best interest to forget your number.”

“Interesting…”

“Not sure if it was interesting, but he forgot it, didn’t he?” He said with a tap of his bottle against hers.

“So, that’s it huh, you told him to forget my number and he did? I don’t believe you.”

He chuckled his usual sarcastic laugh, the one that got under her skin when he didn’t want to deal with her. “Why not?”

“Because I think you said something to him, to scare him, which doesn’t make any sense to me at all.”

“The guy was a creep, Swan. You weren’t the first college student he had harassed, manhandled, or worse.” He added softly, a look of seriousness suddenly settling over him.

She shrugged. “Like you cared what happened to me anyway.”

“You were David’s baby sister, I couldn’t exactly let anything happen to you, he’d never forgive me.”

“So, you were looking out for Dave?” She hiccupped, the alcohol was really starting to go to her head.

“Look, it’s not my fault you kept calling me in the middle of the bloody night when you found yourself with irreputable men.”

“Kept calling?” She laughed. “I only called you once.” He paused as if he had said something he hadn’t meant to, taking another gulp of his drink, and turning away from her. She narrowed her eyes in his direction. “Killian, I only called you once.” She repeated.

He reached around the bar, grabbing a bottle of rum from under the counter and sliding off his stool. “I’m beat. Enjoy your evening, Swan.” She watched as he walked away from her, the bottle hanging from the hand at his side as he walked slowly toward the elevators.

Emma wandered lazily toward her friend, her feet felt heavy, her arms slightly numb. “There you are.” She said as Emma plopped down in the seat beside her.

“Was it everything you hoped for?” She tried not to slur her words.

“And more. But something tells me you’re having more fun than me.” She giggled and Emma held up her beer in a toast to her friend before taking another drink.

“Are you still drinking?” Emma looked up to see her brother approach.

“Don’t lecture me, dad.” She joked.

“Very funny, but you should probably slow down.” He sat down next to her. “Where did Killian go?”

“Probably drowning himself in his bottle of rum.” She laughed. She turned toward her brother. “Can I ask you something?”

He laughed, “You just did.”

“Whatever happened with Neal?”

He frowned, “Why are we talking about that asshole on my wedding night?”

“I don’t know, alcohol makes me nostalgic.” She shrugged. “I was just curious, you know, what happened to him after that night.”

“Which night?”

“You know that night.” She raised her eyebrow. “After I called you.”

“Emma, the last time I saw that idiot, was when you left on that trip to Tallahassee. I was so happy you came back alone, that I never wanted to ask you what went down.”

“Stop playing around, I called you, I told you where Neal was, and you sent me that cab to take me home and Neal never bothered me again.”

His brow raised and Emma could see he was considering his words. “Emma, I can honestly say I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Then who sent the cab?”

~*~

5 years ago

“Neal, what’s in the bag?”

“Stop asking questions, dammit.” He shouted and Emma flinched.

“I just don’t understand what we’re doing.”

He advanced on her before he paused. “Look Ems, I just need you to do what I tell you. Can you do that?”

Emma shook her head anxiously. “Yeah, fine.”

“Good.” He brushed his hand against her hair before he fisted it into her locks, tugging her head backward. “And don’t question me again.” Her heart raced when his mouth attacked her neck, biting at her flesh before he tossed her back against the floor. “Now put the bag under the bed. I’m gonna grab us some food. Don’t fucking touch anything.” She shook her head nervously as she watched him rummage through his drawer, tucking something in the back of his pants before turning back to face her.

“How long are you going to be gone?”

“What did I just say?” He groaned. “Look, I’ll be back when I get back.” He yanked her off the floor by her arm, pain searing at her shoulder.

“That hurts.” She cried out before his hand cracked against her cheek.

“Just do what I told you to do, dammit.” Suddenly his face softened, and he pulled her closer to him. “I’m sorry baby, don’t make me do that again, ok, I don’t like having to hit you.”

“I’m sorry.” She answered quickly, rubbing her palm on her cheek.

“Be a good girl, I’ll be back soon.”

Emma stared at the bag on the bed for what felt like hours, debating whether to open it and look inside. She knew the moment she did, it would be the moment it all became real, she would have to make a choice. She walked closer to the bed, staring back at the door. She took another step before reaching for the bag, tugging at the zipper, and yanking it open.

“Shit.” She cursed to herself, staring down at the bundles of money, red stains on a few of them, gold watches littered between the bills. She reached in and moved the bundles around until she felt the cold butt of a gun. She was in over her head. She wasn’t aware of what Neal had been doing at each of the stops on their trip, but now she had a pretty good idea. She couldn’t live like this, it wasn’t her. She had thought that when Neal told her he wanted to start a new life with her in Tallahassee that he was done with all the petty thief stuff. All these months, she convinced herself he would change for her, that if she loved him, that it would be enough. But as she stood in the room, a pile of cash in a bag, blood smeared in Neal’s fingerprints on the bills, it was never going to be enough.

She picked up the phone and dialed her brother’s number. She needed to tell him before she chickened out. The moment the phone picked up she started talking, desperate to tell him everything.

“David, I need your help. I’ve screwed up. I know I told you that Neal had changed, that he was legit, but I’m in trouble. Neal…he…I need to get away from him now. I’m at a hotel in Florida and I’m scared. I’ll send you the address, but I need your help, please I…I just want to come home, I’m so sorry.” She sobbed.

“Emma…”

“Don’t talk, I don’t want to hear the disappointment in your voice. I’ll send you the info, I’ll change, I promise, it’s over with him, I…I promise. Just get me home and we never have to talk about Neal Cassidy again.”

She hung up the phone and waited until there was a honk outside the hotel. She peered out the window to see a cab waiting. She grabbed her stuff and ran through the door, never looking back.

~*~

Emma stood in front of the large ornate door, Room 515. Her head was still spinning when she pounded on the wooden frame. She stood impatiently until it flung open, Killian Jones stood in front of her, his hair a mess, wearing only a pair of boxers and a white t-shirt. “Couldn’t stop thinking of me, eh Swan?” He jeered; the half drank bottle of rum in his hand.

“Tallahassee.” She said firmly, pushing past him as she entered his room.

“Do come in.” He groaned as she heard the door shut behind her. “What do you want?”

“I know it was you that I talked to you that night, but how?”

He shook his head as if trying to clear the cobwebs or something. “Sorry, lass, I’m not following, what night?”

“I called David from my hotel room that night, but he swears he never talked to me. Yet someone sent me a cab, someone got me home.”

He shrugged. “Haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re on about, love.”

“Bullshit.” She stepped toward him. “Tonight, you said I kept calling you in the middle of the night, but I only called you once, because of Walsh.”

“I must have misspoken.” He shrugged, tossing himself down on his bed as he sat on the end of the mattress.

“I can tell you’re lying.” She glared as he reached up and touched the tip of his ear with his finger. “There. You do that thing with your ear when you’re either lying or nervous.”

“You’ve barge in my room in the middle of the night, interrupt my solitude, and start accusing me of lying about sending a cab to some damn hotel room in the middle of podunk Woodville, Florida, you can’t blame me for being foggy.”

Emma flinched and her eyes sought his from across the room. “I didn’t say where I was staying. I just said Tallahassee. How did you know the hotel was in Woodville?”

He shrugged, “I’m drunk lass, lucky guess.”

“I knew it was you.” She exclaimed.

“Fine, you caught me, I sent you a fucking cab, but to be fair you’re the one who told me not to talk that night.”

“But I called David, I know I did.”

He chuckled. “Aye, you did, but he was passed out drunk that night.”

“You never told him what I said on that call? Why?”

He laughed loudly. “Figured he didn’t need to know what his baby sister had gotten herself into, seeing as you were telling me you were done with it, I didn’t see the point. As long as Neal was out of the picture, it wasn’t necessary to break his heart.”

“So, you sent a cab, and just brought me home, no questions asked.”

“Aye.” He still wasn’t making eye contact with her. He wasn’t telling her the full story, she knew it.

“So, David never talked to Neal then.” She paced the room in front of him. “But Neal knew where I was, and yet he never came after…”

“He damn well better not have, I swore I’d tear him apart with my own hands.” Killian growled and Emma felt the room spin slightly.

“What did you just say?”

“That dumb fuck tried to square up to me like I couldn’t beat his ass, I swear he cried when I burned that fucking cash in front of him.” He swirled the bottle in his hands before tipping it back again to down the liquid.

“You came to Florida?”

He looked up and bit his lip. “I uh…What?”

“You just said you burned his cash, the cash was in Florida, in the hotel.”

“It’s late, I’m drunk, I think…” Emma walked over and grabbed the bottle out of his hand, throwing it across the room as it smashed into the wall, liquid and glass exploding at the contact. “What the bloody hell…”

“Tell me the truth.” She yelled. “Did you go to Florida?”

“Of course, I went to Florida, who else was going to keep that bastard from coming after you?” He stood up, staring at her as he shouted, and Emma felt her cheeks flush.

“But why?”

“Because he touched you. I saw it, the bruise on your cheek, you think I was just going to let him hit you and walk away?”

Emma sucked in her breath. “How, how did you know that?”

“I needed to make sure you got home. I waited outside your apartment, I saw the cab arrive, watched you get out. As soon as I saw your face, I knew he needed to be stopped.” He walked toward her. “So yeah, I went to Florida, to the address you had me send that cab to. Asshole was still there, waiting for you to come back.” Emma couldn’t believe what she was hearing, all these years she thought David had helped her out of the situation and then did as she said, and never spoke about it again.

“You burned his cash?”

“Enough to tell him I was serious. If he ever came back for you, if he so much as tried to contact you…”

She stepped backwards, but he followed her until her back hit the wall, his eyes staring into hers. “Why? Why did you care at all about Neal?”

“I didn’t give a fuck about Neal.” He yelled, as he placed his hands on either side of her head, leaning toward her. “Don’t you get it Emma. It was you. It was always you.”

His mouth was on hers in an instant and Emma could barely catch up to the fact he was kissing her, Killian Jones was kissing her. She should be repulsed but in the moment all she could feel was the heat of his body pressed against hers, his fingers gripping her hair, pulling her against his mouth as her entire body hummed in excitement.

Without a second thought she pushed back, her hands against his chest, fisting in his t-shirt, her head falling back as his mouth explored her neck. She could barely contain the moan as his tongue slid against her jaw. She didn’t registered the moment they both stumbled across the room, his hands at her back, clawing at the zipper low on her hips. When they tripped against the bed, the straps of her gown pulled down her body, he stared at her with eager eyes. Emma couldn’t believe this was happening, things weren’t making sense. All these years, all the anger toward each other, the teasing, the torment, suddenly they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

He was Killian Jones. The man who had tormented her thoughts for years, Killian Jones, the man who had come to her rescue the night with Walsh, who had also apparently saved her from a terrible mistake with Neal. She was confused, overwhelmed, and incredibly horny, she realized.

“Swan…” His voice vibrated against her ear. “I think we should…”

Emma pulled away from him, looking at him as he swayed in front of her. “What?”

“I’m fuck as drunk.” He laughed. “Aaand, I’m pretty sure you’re having a difficult time standing on your own right now.”

“Wait a minute?” She said incredulously. “The Killian Jones, sex God extraordinaire is saying he’s too drunk to fuck?”

“Sex God?” He laughed. “Ok I don’t know who you’ve been talking to, but anyway…I’m just saying…maybe we need to hit pause; besides I can’t exactly feel my lower half.” He stepped back, looking down at his boxers. “And I think I need to sit down.” He stumbled backward until his legs hit the bed, falling over until he was lying on his back.

“Seriously?” Emma sighed, watching as the man stilled, soft sounds of snoring filling the room. Maybe it was for the best, it’s not like it was smart for her and Killian to sleep together. She was Emma Nolan and he was Killian Jones, enemies since childhood. One drunken night couldn’t change that. Perhaps he was right, she needed to go back to her room, get some sleep, and wake up with a clear head before she made a mistake she wouldn’t be able take back.

~*~

She woke to a banging on her door that wouldn’t stop. “Good God.” She groaned, sitting up in her bed and stumbling toward the door. She yanked it open and stared angrily at whoever was making the noise.

“You look like shit, Swan.” Killian smiled at her in a way that no man who drank a bottle of rum should be smiling at a person, at whatever time it currently was in the morning.

“What do you want?”

“Brought you breakfast, figured you might need some dry toast.” He held up the white bag in his hands and she dropped her arm, letting him enter her room.

“Why are you so cheerful this morning, you drank half the bar last night.”

“I guess I hold my liquor better than you.”

“Why does everyone say that? Besides, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who left you passed out in your bed last night.”

“Ah, that.” He shrugged. “Perhaps that was for the best.”

She stared at him, watching as he looked everywhere around the room except for at her, avoiding her eyes. “Maybe.” She opened the bag and pulled out the toast, taking a bite and swallowing before speaking again. “Did you threaten Walsh also?” She asked with a shrug.

“Are we back to a Q&A session, Swan? What does it even matter?”

“Because it doesn’t make sense. You hated me, you used to tease me mercilessly. You never even called me by my first name, making up that stupid Swan shit when I turned 13. So why, why would you care at all about my relationships?”

He exhaled loudly. “You want to know why I call you Swan?”

“You already told me that a long time ago, it was because I had a long stupid neck.”

He laughed. “You believed that shit?”

“Why wouldn’t I? You said it to my face.”

“I thought you could tell when I was lying.” He chuckled.

“Then why? Why do you call me that?” She asked in frustration.

“Because right before my eyes, you had grown into the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on. You went from this silly little girl in pigtails and braces to this gorgeous beautiful swan I couldn’t keep my eyes off of.”

Emma’s world stopped. “What? No…that’s...”

“Crazy? Yeah well, I’ve been crazy about you for as long as I can remember, so welcome to my world.”

She laughed loudly. “You had a funny way of showing it, between the redheads, the brunettes, the…”

“But never blonde.” He added seriously.

“That’s not true, there had to be one or two that were…” She stopped and thought about the women that Killian had dated throughout the years, were there really no blondes?

“They wouldn’t have been you.” He answered the question she didn’t dare say out loud.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” She implored.

“You had a type, usually idiotic moron, but it was still a type. Who was I to interfere with your ridiculous choices? Besides, you were my best friend’s little sister.” He paused before taking a step closer to her. “Would it have mattered if I did?”

Emma felt her heart skip as he stared down at her, her legs suddenly feeling unstable. “I don’t know…you’ve always just been David’s annoying friend.”

“Always?” He asked as his brow rose. “So, you never thought about it, you and I? Not even late at night, when you were alone…” His voice reverberated in her mind.

“No, of course not?” She laughed, the sound getting caught in her throat the moment his hand touched her cheek.

“Are you quite certain about that, love?”

“I…I don’t know.” Her mouth was dry as she thought back on her life, she had always found Killian attractive, and he found a way to get under her skin more times than she cared to admit, but there had been times when she was alone, times when she thought about the man in front of her in ways she knew she could never act on. She had always passed the feelings off as just needing to get laid. He was gorgeous after all, no one would deny that. “Maybe if you weren’t always such an ass all…”

Her words died in her throat the moment his mouth was on her neck, his hands at her waist pulling her against him. “You were saying…” She felt the arrogant smirk against her skin.

“You’re an ass.” She groaned, letting her hands slide against his neck as he continued to pepper kisses along her jaw until their lips met in a fiery explosion. She had to admit in the light of day, without the alcohol fogging her brain, that kissing Killian Jones was an entirely different yet exciting experience. It was like her body craved him in ways she had never admitted even in the darkness of her own solitude.

Tiny details suddenly came to life in her brain, the way he looked at her the night he came to get her at Walsh’s. Protective, possessive, almost feral, because of her.

Emma pulled him closer to her, desperately tugging at his hair to bring him closer, as he intoxicated her every sense. Emma had to admit she had wondered what kissing Killian was like, had thought about what his mouth could do, but experiencing it was a whole different thing. She felt his hands at her hips, fingers slipping under her shirt as his palm met skin searing a warm trail that caused her flesh to pebble under his touch.

As if a sudden desperation overtook her, she found herself gripping his shirt, pushing it up his chest as she explored the hair hidden beneath with her fingertips. “Perhaps you’ve imagined it a few times.” He teased, pushing her pajama bottoms over her hips, shoving them toward the ground.

“Shut up and take this off already.” She growled as he pulled his shirt over his head. Emma gulped, staring at his chest. She had obviously not spent enough time admiring this man for all his glory.

“Impatient, love?”

“Just curious if you live up to your reputation.” She teased.

“I can assure you; you won’t be disappointed.”

“That’s a mighty large assurance, considering I’m used to being disappointed.” She tore the button to his pants open, hoping to speed up the situation.

“As I said love, you have terrible taste in men, but I don’t intend to let you down.” He threw her bra behind her, his mouth suddenly pressing against one of her mounds, his tongue darting out to flick against her pert nipple.

“Oh God.” She cried out at the contact. “My taste in men has led me to this, so perhaps you have a point.” She groaned.

“Perhaps this is the first good choice you’ve made in a while.” His slid down her body his tongue tracing a line down her stomach, poking at her navel as he slid her panties down her body.

“We’ll see about that.” She said before moaning when his tongue slid closer to the area she needed him. “Fuck.” She growled looking down at him as he stared up at her.

“Something you want, Swan?”

“How can you be so irritating and yet so…” She clenched her teeth as he stood, pulling her naked toward the bed and sitting her on the mattress.

“So…?” He pressed her to continue as she lay back on the mattress. “Irritating yet devilishly handsome?” He smirked before settling between her legs. “I am quite dashing, aren’t I.” He pressed a kiss to her thigh.

“I’m going to be dashing you right out of this room if you don’t…” The heat of his tongue against her center caused her head to fall back and the words to die in her throat. She ignored the smirk she could feel form on his lips, he had a right to be cocky with the expertise use of his tongue that had set her on fire.

When his fingers slipped inside of her, hitting the spot she so desperately needed, she reached down and gripped his hair, pulling him against her until she felt the feeling build, an explosion unlike any she had experienced before, causing her to scream out, his name escaping from her lips before she could stop it.

He glanced up at her with a look that told her he knew how good he was, he was confident in his ability, she would give him that. “Holy shit.” She said breathlessly.

“Perhaps all you really needed was one really great orgasm to unwind that…”

“Are you going to just talk the whole time or?” He slid up her body, his mouth devouring every inch of skin he passed until she felt like she was ready to pass out again.

Why did he have to be so goddamn talented with that mouth of his? Because why wouldn’t Killian Jones, the man who could work her into such an angry frenzy that it left her shaking in frustration, be the same one who could give her the best damn orgasm she had ever had in her life.

Killian fucking Jones, she thought as she felt his erection against her thigh. He hesitated and she opened her eyes to see his trepidation. “You don’t happen to be carrying a condom with you, do you?”

Emma laughed. “Don’t you carry one everywhere you go? My brother always told me you were the…what did he call it?”

He rolled his eyes. “The Saint of…”

“Sexual preparation…yes that’s it.” She finished smugly. “Always prepared, like a boy scout.”

He groaned in frustration. “If you must know, it’s been a while, love.”

“I have a hard time believing that.” She snorted. “But since I’ve known you for almost my entire life, and since I’m protected already…”

“Look at this face, have I ever lied to you?”

She took in the sincerity in his crystal blue eyes, the genuine smile spread across his lips, and she was taken aback suddenly by the situation she was in. Lying naked in a bed with Killian Jones, a man she had known almost her entire life. Suddenly the entire thing felt safe to her, she had never had that before with a man, trust had been rare in her life.

Killian had been many things to her, an enemy, her brother’s best friend, but one thing he had never been, was a liar. In fact, she now realized that he had protected her all those years. All the times he had made comments about her reckless behavior with a man wasn’t because he found her annoying, or because he didn’t like her, in fact, he said them out of concern for her wellbeing. It was all overwhelming to think back and realize that perhaps his behavior was out of jealousy instead of disregard.

“Are you with me, love?”

Emma looked at the man staring at her with concern in his eyes. Lifting her head, she pressed her lips to his, a soft kiss that meant so much more to her that she could have thought. She was here, with him, in every way that mattered. Suddenly she wanted so much more than just knowing what it was like to have sex with Killian Jones, she wanted to be with Killian Jones.

She pulled back, staring in his eyes. “I’m right here.” She whispered. He dipped his head, their lips touching once more, but this time there was an urgency, a need that he returned with such emotion it overwhelmed her.

In one motion, he slid inside of her, filling her in a way she had never experienced before. She felt connected, not only by their bodies but by the way he was watching her, his eyes soft yet intense, never leaving her own with each thrust. It was as if suddenly his mouth stopped speaking but he was still saying so much.

He would always be there for her, protecting her, caring for her. She knew it somehow, could feel it in the way he moved. How had she not seen it all this time?

“Emma…” He whispered her name like a prayer in the air, so reverent as if it was the most valued word he had ever spoken in his life. She could feel the crescendo building inside of her with each heavy thrust, as his body glided against hers giving her all the friction she needed to reach the level she was seeking.

“Oh God…” She moaned, her body starting to shake as his mouth pressed against her ear.

“Come with me Emma…” His voice, full of sincerity, laced with pure desire was the only sound she needed to guide her to the high she so desperately sought. Her body tensed as she gripped him, her teeth grazing the flesh at his shoulder as he moaned her name over and over until they both had stilled, exhausted, and completely sated.

“Well, that was…” She paused with a sly smile. “Unexpectedly better than I imagined.”

“Why Swan, I thought you never imagined…” he smirked, causing her to shove him backwards on the bed, climbing onto his waist as she looked down at him.

“Are you going to continue being this cocky, or…”

“Have you ever known me to be any other way?” His brow rose playfully.

She rolled her eyes, leaning over to place her lips against his mouth, the heat between her legs already pooling in anticipation of repeating the act they had just completed.

Suddenly the door to her room swung open and Emma’s eyes widened as she flung herself onto the mattress, pulling the covers over their bodies.

“Emma…David and I were just…”

“Mary has a key to your room?” Killian asked with a groan. “Good to know.” His voice trailed off.

“I get locked out a lot…” She could hear her friend’s voice getting closer as she approached them and she threw the covers over Killian’s head the moment her friend entered the room, she sat up suddenly. “Are you still in bed?” Her friend exclaimed. “Check out is in two hours!”

Emma forced a yawn. “Not everyone gets up with the birds, M’s.”

“Not everyone drank as much as you did either…”

“Hey, he’s not in his room either.” Emma groaned as her brother’s voice sounded at the door, entering her room. “You’re still in bed? Check out is in 2 hours, I don’t want to get charged for another day because you sleep past noon.” He paused, looking around her room. “Jesus, did you have a party in here?”

“Hey, you know, this is real fun, but I haven’t even had my breakfast yet so…”

“Oh, right.” Her friend said excitedly. “I was just dropping off your key so you can water the plants while we’re gone. Killian will have a key too so I hope the two of you can watch the place without killing each other or burning our house down.”

“Great. Ok then, have a good trip.” Emma tried to rush the conversation. Her brother was already staring at her when suddenly his face drained of color.

“We should um…yeah…perhaps we should leave, darling.” He took his wife by the hand. “I think Emma would prefer to spend her morning doing other activities.” He winked and Emma died a little inside, but not nearly as much as when she felt Killian’s hand trail up her thigh. She jumped with a loud squeak.

“Other activities, she’s still in bed, David…” Emma squeezed her eyes shut.

“Yes, and from the looks of things, she was quite enjoying that.”

Emma tossed a pillow toward her brother. “Get out.”

“I don’t…” Her friend’s eyes widened. “Oh my God.” She scanned the bed, finally taking notice of the extra bump in the bed. “Good for you Emma, I know it’s been a while…” She said with a happy whisper but not quite low enough that the sentence was not heard by Killian whom she felt pinch the inside of her thigh. She leaned over onto him, driving her elbow into his chest causing him to grunt loudly through the comforter.

David dragged his wife toward the door, despite her desire to stay and discuss this new revelation with Emma. She gestured toward her as she was leaving. “Call me…” She giggled before David stopped in his tracks, staring at something on the floor. His mouth turned up in a grin before he looked back at Emma.

“Hey uh, you haven’t seen Killian have you?” He sang with a devilish smile.

“Have you tried the bar?” Another pinch to the inside of her thigh. “Ouch.” She exclaimed loudly as her brother continued to stare at her.

“Ok well, I’ll leave his key here.” He held the key up in his hand, dropping it on the table by the dresser.

“Sounds great, not sure when I’ll see him, but you know, I can take care of the place on my own anyway.” She smiled.

“Yeah, ok, well when you see him, you might want to let him know that the hotel has been trying to contact him. Apparently someone ran over his bike in the parking lot.”

“Bloody hell.” Killian exclaimed loudly from under the blankets and Emma groaned as her brother’s knowing smile grew on his face. “How bad is it?” Killian emerged from the comforter and Mary Margaret’s mouth opened wide.

“Oh God.” Emma squeezed her eyes shut.

“Anyway…” David continued with a grin, “See you when we get back. You and I need to have a little conversation about your intentions with my sister.” He warned with a wink, dragging Mary Margaret from the room, questions flying from her mouth until the door shut behind them.

“Oh God.” Emma sunk down into the bed, pulling the covers over her head.

“Do you think he was serious about my bike?”

Emma yanked the covers away, staring at Killian. “That’s what you took away from that entire situation?”

“Do you know how much I paid for that bloody thing?” He exclaimed. “He was joking right?”

“You don’t care that David and M’s just walked in on us, that they know that we had sex?”

He shrugged. “No, David thought we had sex years ago.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“He figured that was the reason you were always so hostile toward me.” He grinned and Emma’s mouth opened and closed like a fish trying to breathe.

“I was hostile to you?” She asked incredulously. “I’m pretty sure it was the other way around, you used to pull on my hair.”

He rolled over on top of her. “Because I thought you were adorable when you were mad. Your ears get red and…”

“Are you serious right now? You were trying to make me mad?”

“Let’s be honest love, it wasn’t a difficult task.” Emma’s eyes widened but he cut off her response with a kiss that removed all other thoughts from her mind. His body pressed against hers in all the right places, making her ache to feel him inside her again.

She squealed. “Check out is in…”

“I don’t bloody care when check out is.”

“If my brother finds out you made him pay for an additional day in the room to fuck his sister, he might…” Killian groaned, rolling over and pulling the sheets from her naked body. Emma frowned. “Where are you going?”

“Get up, we’re leaving.”

“What? But I didn’t even eat my breakfast…”

He threw her clothes at her, a pile landing on her head and around her body. “Let’s go love, lots to do. Plants to water, rooms to explore.”

“What are you talking about?”

He leaned over, pressing his lips to her neck. “Are you always going to be this gloriously impossible?”

She melted into his touch, the feeling of his hot breath against her ear. “Have you ever known me to be any other way?” She purred.

“I’ll take you any way I can get you, Swan.” He growled in her ear, and she felt her entire body shiver, pressing her legs together to calm the aching need that was growing.

“How fast can you drive?” She asked, meeting blue eyes filled with as much desire as she was feeling.

“Depends on whether or not my bike is destroyed in the parking lot because that bug of yours won’t make it home before dinner.” She slapped his arm playfully, before he captured her lips with his, causing her heart to speed up.

“We’re not really going to defile my brother’s house are we?” He bit his lip, staring at her with eyes that made her entire body quiver. Hell, she’d let him take her right on the bike outside the hotel if he kept looking at her like that. “Fuck it, I think we still have time before check out.”

He had her on her back before she could finish her sentence.

By the time David got the bill for 3 extra days at the hotel, Emma and Killian had become inseparable. They still fought, and he still got on her nerves at least twice a day, but there was no one that had her back the way he did.

In fact, Emma was sure that she would never find another man who loved her as fiercely as Killian Jones.

#Emma's Reckless Dating Game #stacy's fics #emma swan #killian jones #captain swan fics #captain swan au #captain swan #captain swan modern au

[of-house-atreides]

This article is breaking my brain

Have you read this article ?

TW: mentions of suicide and also I’m an angry petty bitch

Yes I know this article is from like three weeks ago but I just found it... and I have things to say.

I swear I can’t handle this anymore...

“But today, Loki steps out of his brother’s shadow”... to step in another one. It be the TVA or Sylvie, just... take your pick.

“resuming his role as the God of Mischief” um where? when?

The comedy part is debatable but fine, whatever... I must have missed the noir crime-thriller bit maybe it was between two scenes of Loki getting his ass kicked by literally everyone in this show.

Yeah you forgot that end-credit scene showing Loki alive and well in IW/Endgame.

And no, alternate/variant Loki doesn’t count, he’s not the same person/character.

Because of course when you think of Loki you instantly think his story should take place in a “bureaucratic nightmare” -

And why not hire competent experienced people for Multiverse of Madness and Loki? Is this Marvel’s way of telling us they don’t really care about these projects?

Kevin really said “no experienced writers on this project, let’s just hire whoever” - or maybe it’s a budget thing? Less experience means less zeros on the pay checks?

Wow, ok.

So not a fan of the movies nor a fan of the character, just a fan of the genre, that explains a lot...

“what was really important to me was stripping away all the fantastical elements” ... ?? I’m sorry?? What?? So removing all the fantastical elements from a show titled after who is supposed to be the main character who is a GOD and a prince from another realm/planet was what was important?? The Trickster God of Mischief, magic wielder, master of illusions NEEDED to be stripped from his FANTASTICAL ELEMENTS???

ffs

“find the heart of this story” - is the heart of this story Loki becoming best friends with his (mental and physical) torturer after what? 2 days? Was it falling in love with the ‘superior’ version of himself after only 13 hours together? I’m still looking for the heart of this story.

“what is the relatable message at the center?” - well apparently it’s ‘you can be a God and a warrior with magical powers but still get your ass kicked by literally everyone all the time and never use your strength and skills to fight back’. Or it’s the power of love, idk -

Oh wait, is it falling in love with the female version of himself? For a weird ‘love yourself’ metaphor? That must be it.

Or maybe it’s jet skis.

Ah yes, the ‘you can be good, actually’ message of this series that is so subtly presented to us...

They really missed the whole fucking point of Loki.

They missed it so bad they made him call himself a narcissist (which he isn’t btw).

For the record, Loki is a prince of Asgard who learnt one day he was adopted and in fact taken from one of Asgard’s worst enemies, the King of the Jotuns, aka Frost Giants “the monsters parents tell their children about at night”. He found out he was not only adopted but also abducted and not out of love. He feels not only betrayed but he thinks he understands now why Odin always favoured Thor and why he’d never have the same love from Odin that Thor has had his whole life. He thinks of himself as a monster and wants to be worthy of Odin’s love. So he tries to get it. And sure, he doesn’t do it in the best way, and yes, he is the villain of that story. But Loki isn’t a villain. He doesn’t like to make people suffer, he did it out of pain, out of hurt. The events in Avengers was after he was thoroughly tortured and coerced by Thanos to invade Earth. There is even a moment in the end when Thor asks him if he thinks this ‘madness would stop under his rule’ (or something along those lines) and he looks unsure and regretful. But due to the fear of Thanos and insecurity about himself (love is weakness or whatever) he keeps going. He redeems himself in Dark World, again in Ragnarok and yet again in IW and he was thrown in the trash for it.

Yes, Loki’s story is complex, but it really isn’t that complex... So maybe Loki is a “scared little boy” but his way of acting out makes sense and there’s a legitimate reason for it that was not explored in the show. And his backstory is probably what she called the “bells and the whistles”... 

“we literally delete his universe” - and apparently you deleted his personality too

“it’s a story of reinvention ... can Loki find goodness in himself?” - again, you’re missing the point. Loki is insecure, but not about his ability to do what’s right, but about whether or not he is worthy of love! Finding goodness within himself comes AFTER!

“Loki’s journey, to me, is really about acceptance of himself” - several questions here, um, first, what about himself does he need to accept? That he’s a Jotun? The show never mentions it. That he’s done bad shit and should forgive himself for it? Give him a reason to. Self-love doesn’t come after being mentally and physically tortured by some guy who acts like he’s your best friend after 2 days of working together and being yelled out that “he can be anyone he wants, even something good”.

Show, don’t tell, isn’t that the point of your job?? The job you begged for??

Loki’s journey should have been about self-love and no, falling in love with the female version of yourself (who keeps saying they have nothing in common (because they don’t!)) doesn’t count!

“a more mature and darker path” ...

well this is interesting... was making Loki a clown and the butt of every joke part of making the show mature and dark? Were the terrible attempts at humour? Him being beaten up every two seconds? Having him say lines he’d never say in a million years just to be funny but since it’s out of character for him it fails completely? Was making him incompetent and a complete idiot part of that attempt of making the show mature and dark?

Is that why there’s no magic? You cut off the magician so your show would be more “mature and dark”?

Having him cry every episode doesn’t make your show mature and dark.

Loki from Thor, Avengers, the Dark World and even IW is mature and dark. Your Loki from your series is just a pathetic clown.

“don’t give viewers the story they are expecting” - I personally wasn’t expecting any story, I just wanted Loki, you know, in this Loki series, supposedly all about Loki, and you guys couldn’t even do that.

So this is the author of the article speaking here, I’m guessing, and I think they’re giving a summary of the show so far, so let’s break this down:

“This is Loki as we’ve never seen him before” - I 100% agree -

“Stripped of his self-proclaimed majesty” - ok, first of all, Loki is a prince, that’s a fact, he didn’t make that up, and for the few years he was King of Asgard disguised as Odin, he seemingly did a great job, so...

“but with his ego still intact” - ah, yes, his ego, you know, because he’s such a narcissist... oh wait -

yes he has an ego, but he has a regal one, not misplaced entirely either - his ego in the show is basically him underestimating the TVA and Mobius (as well as the Time Keepers) - his ego is him getting offended by the variant: the ‘superior Loki’ - his ego in the show is used as a weapon to humiliate and belittle him.

“he faces consequences he never thought could happen to such a supreme being as himself” - he literally tried to k*ll himself in the first Thor - literally a result of his own actions - when he returned to Asgard in Dark World, he didn’t try to pretend he hadn’t fucked up. He didn’t try to hide what he had done (he tries to deny to Mobius in episode 2 that he was manipulating them at the fair) - he sacrifices himself in IW... but sure, Loki from the series is indeed surprised that he is powerless (even when he doesn’t need to/shouldn’t be)

“there is a lot of humour ... he is taken down a few pegs by the TVA” ... he is humiliated by the TVA - definitely not what we were expecting, I’ll give you that.

“sentenced to a lifetime of bureaucracy” - definitely did not expect that either

and here comes my favorite quote: “it’s a sad Loki without any mischief”

yes - yes - yes

that is a good summary of this goddamn show, a sad, pathetic, powerless Loki without any personality 

“fallen God” - yeah that’s definitely not what I was expecting either from the Loki series so good job on subverting expectations I guess...

“who is going to win out in this match between them?”

there is no match - Loki is powerless - he’s been turned into a pathetic docile harmless wet dog - Mobius literally mentally (episode 1 and 4) and physically (episode 4) tortures him, both time in an attempt to have Loki do his bidding - Loki is the dog and Mobius is the master - even when Loki ‘tries’ to manipulate him it fails because he’s underestimating them (by overestimating himself) - he uses obvious techniques to manipulate the TVA (episode 2) and nobody buys it because it’s not subtle at all! Loki is smarter than that, he is a TRICKSTER GOD FFS!

“there is an interesting dynamic between them that maybe you haven’t seen with Loki in the Marvel movies” - yeah, maybe there’s a reason for that... like... he wouldn’t... submit so easily... he’d be wary, cautious, cunning... he’d be... himself...

Sans déconner ?

It’s like whoever wrote the series didn’t actually know shit about Loki... like that wasn’t fucking obvious...

And those lectures were apparently done after the script was written so... again, no surprise there... we can see that

Well...

“we wanted the show to be imbued with mischief” vs “sad Loki without any mischief” choose your fighter

“Loki has this very sensitive, damaged, broken heart with an enormous capacity to feel emotion on the biggest scale.”

Are surprised that only Tom so far has portrayed and talked about Loki accurately?

“loneliness, sadness, anger and grief and loss”

I love this man.

I do wonder what Mr. Branagh thinks of the show...

I’m of the people who see a vulnerability beneath those layers of charm and playfulness. I love Loki because he’s smart and cunning and regal, and elegant and sophisticated. I love him cause at the end of the day, he just wants to be loved, and he deserves to be loved.

And in the end, the only Loki I can’t stand is the one from the series.

#loki negativity #Loki #loki series #review #anti Loki