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#is an angle
ifimhonestidk · 1 year
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What If?
Sirius had often wondered about the 'what if's' of his life.
He wondered what would happen if he had stayed, if he had let his parents corrupt him. He'd then have to think of the why. Why would he do that? Why would he choose to be forged and molded by their hands?
There was the obvious reason, Regulus.
He had almost lost a battle with himself to leave when it came to his little brother. He was a Gryffindor, and yet he hadn't the courage to stay in that house to protect his little brother. What a Gryffindor he was.
There was always more than one reason though. There was definitely more than Regulus that he had come up with for reasons to stay.
He could've been scared.
Sirius had the smallest amount of Gryffindor courage out of them all, so this option doesn't come as much of a shocker to him.
He could've been scared and afraid.
He was always afraid of them. Is. He still is afraid of them. Of what they'd do if they found him, what they currently do to Regulus. It all makes him want to die, to turn over a new leaf and leave the wicked world that had made his life this way.
Then, there was the less obvious.
With little courage, Sirius could have also been sorted into Slytherin. He'd no longer have James and Peter and Remus. Oh, Remus.
If he's honest, he has only ever wanted to leave because of them. He's scared of that house and the people inside of it, but at least it's familiar. At least he knows what to expect when he steps foot into the cold, bare house. Never a home.
As a Slytherin, he'd probably be closer to his brother though. Sometimes Sirius wishes he was one for that specific reason, but only on his darkest days does he have that wish.
Then there's the least obvious reason, the reason that scares Sirius the most and leaves him shaken up time and time again.
He knows the danger of 12 Grimmauld Place and the people within. He knows what his mother and father are capable of, he's experienced it first hand. He knows how the spells and hits leave him battered and bruised, on the brink of death.
A fine line stands between the living and the dead. Sirius walks on that line most of his time at 12 Grimmauld Place.
So maybe they get him this time. Maybe they've finally snapped on trying to fix Sirius, figure he's too much work, and just get rid of him.
Sirius shivers at the thought every time. That he might forever be trapped in that house because he was never given the ability to get out. He didn't have the time. It's a nightmare that wakes Sirius up most nights. That he has died at the hands of his parents, or worse, it's Regulus.
Sirius always finds a way to blame himself, whether it's the fact that Regulus takes ownership for something that was completely Sirius' fault or Sirius just doesn't happen to be able to save him.
But he tries, every single time he tries to help his brother escape the grasps of death.
And every time he fails.
And every time he's awoken in a cold sweat.
And every time Remus wakes up with him, stroking his hair and whispering reassurances to him because it's not his fault and he couldn’t have saved someone else when he needed saving himself. But it only works momentarily. And then the cruel cycle of life continues.
Until he sees the Daily Prophet, news of a death.
The death of a death eater. How ironic? Sirius likes to think to stop himself from tearing up at the fact that that person was just another casualty of war despite the side they were on.
But this time, Sirius doesn't laugh. Or cry. Or make any noise or reaction. He's stuck as he reads of a death, the picture on the cover too familiar to be anything good. Sirius freezes.
He can't hear when Remus calls his name or feel it when he shakes him. He can feel, however, the newspaper being ripped from his hands as Remus reads about the death of his baby brother.
Then, and only then, do the tears begin to pour.
"Oh, Pads."
A gut wrenching sob escapes Sirius as he crumbles.
It's all a nightmare, until it's war and your worst dreams become realities. When Sirius could not save his brother, even now, from the grips of death.
Sirius started to wonder, as he always does, but this time it's different. He wonders when it will ever end.
The world is a cruel place and even crueler when the 'what if’s' become realities.
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squarecloud73 · 2 years
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*I worship you Tumblr don’t remove it
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I love how Tommy keep calling Tubbo clingy but can’t stop smiling the entire time (´-ω-`)
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seagiri · 23 days
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when did this happen???
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fagcrisis · 11 months
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alfheimr · 27 days
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mithrun 🌞
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o0kawaii0o · 1 month
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4 hearts
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slushy-sash · 2 months
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very important research
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emberglowfox · 11 months
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i dont think the sages are distinctly aware of everything their avatars are doing, but i imagine some things probably bleed through
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aroacearchangel · 7 months
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hey. do whatever you want btw. it’s your identity. kiss people for fun. enjoy sex. nobody’s stopping you. being aro and/or ace doesn’t mean you have to be repulsed by romantic or sexual activities if you don’t want to.
and also! things only mean what you meant them to mean. you can have platonic sex and platonically make out with your friends. it’s true. just be sure to communicate so that everyone involved understands and you’re good.
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fiberfantasies · 2 months
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Fiber arts is just Math in sheep's clothing
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buggachat · 1 year
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congratulations to hello kitty <3 @catgirlgames
bonus:
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bbqhooligan · 12 days
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kendrick lamar murdering drake live on tv continues
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bucatinibucatini · 6 months
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i believe barry keoghan (5’8”) was cast alongside jacob elordi and archie madekwe (both 6’5”) in saltburn so the movie could have as many cinematic close up shots as possible of oliver’s baby blue eyes gazing up at men striking an intimidating pose. just always looking up. sluttily
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mariaalda · 3 months
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Cherry so anger to angel after that
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FNAF Vanny cooked too hard with M.X.E.S,,
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ave661 · 4 months
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biker!Ghost 3.5 1 , 2 , 3 , 3.5
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