#it says money to use the steam and overall feels more natural

[ruewrites]

How Time Has Changed You

AO3

Ship(s): Diavolo/Lucifer, Background Solomon/Asmo

Word Count: 2648

Warnings: None

A/N:

Hello! Adding once again to the Next Gen!AU that @leviathanswingman and I came up with. I wanted an excuse to bring in little Ariel and to write some fluff between Lucifer and Asmo. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!

Comments are appreciated!

"I'm surprised you were able to come here alone."

"You know how Diavolo gets at the very prospect of nieces and nephews."

"I know. That's why I'm surprised you were able to come here alone."

Asmo was currently swallowed in Lucifer's coat, a cup of tea steaming in his frail fingers as his tiny figure made itself impossibly smaller as he curled up on the couch. He hummed softly in thought, blowing at the dancing steam as it arose from the cup. 

No, he wasn’t entirely frail now. In other ways he was less frail than what he had been. His hips were rounded out, his hugs not as bony and even warmer now than what they had been years ago. He was even softer now, even warmer. He was still energetic and spunky yes, and his eyes still sparkled, but he had softened more and leaned even more into his gentle nature. He also let his hair grow out, and it was now tied in a neat little bun on top of his head. He had caught Solomon playing with it on many an occasion at gatherings. Overall, he had… matured… but it was still Asmo.

Lucifer leaned back in the armchair he was in, taking in Asmo just for a second longer, "Solomon made his instructions quite clear that he wanted you to be in a calm environment. It sounded like he could certainly make use of his own requests as well."

And if Diavolo had come as he oh so desperately wanted to, the house would be anything but calm. He would want to know everything and anything about the new little demon brewing within Asmo's form. Or was the more correct term fallen angels? Partial humans?

"My husband certainly has seemed stressed hasn't he?"

"You going on impromptu outings without notice or times when you will return certainly doesn't help with that."

Oh Asmo was giving that sorcerer a run for his money. It made Lucifer chuckle a bit. From impromptu coffee shop and bakery runs to deciding he wanted to pick up a part time job at the daycare, Asmodeus was throwing Solomon into a panic. He'd become extremely accustomed to anxiety-riddled texts sent in the family group chats, unsure of where Asmo was or when he'd be home or if he was alright.

"He really does get himself worked up, I try not to upset him so much, really it's one of the few things we've ever really gotten into lil tifts about," Asmo sighed, brought the cup up to his lips and paused, "And of course that's why you're here, to make sure I don't get into any unsupervised trouble."

"Unfortunately, I find myself in slight agreement with the man you decided to marry Asmo," Lucifer smirked, "You are carrying his child as they say."

"They being humans?"

"No changing the subject, and he is correct to be concerned. The process affects you and puts you in a targeted position," Lucifer leaned forward ever so slightly, "His concern stems from valid reasons."

Asmo looked back down towards his tea cup, eyes flickering in order to avoid Lucifer's gaze. His fingers tapped along the porcelain glass before he spoke again. 

"I think it all comes from guilt," he didn't look at Lucifer, "He missed Lilith's. There's no way he could have known, I didn't even know, yet he blames himself for missing it… And for her being early." 

"It could be both."

Asmo's fingers tightened around the teacup.

"Which reminds me, I'm surprised you don't have anyone with you either. Lilith usually spends time with both of you and stays with you when Solomon has to go out."

Asmo's body softened and relaxed at the mention of his daughter. It had always been clear that, even if Lucifer had had rocky feelings about the man who sired his niece, she had grown up in a very healthy and loving environment. Both Asmo and Solomon gave her everything they could to get her to thrive. Their efforts paid off in the form of a blossoming young woman. 

"She's busy with being a much better student than I was, she gets that from Solomon you know," Asmo chittered, "And she has friends at RAD. But she's so excited about the baby, she's already planning on weekends that she can come up to visit. It's always a treat to have her stay with us again."

"I could imagine."

After all, it was always a treat to have one of his brothers visit or to see Oleander, so Lucifer could share in that sentiment. 

His eyes were trained on Asmodeus. Watching as he took another slow sip from the cup. His muscles tensed at the ready the second he saw the slightest tremor. The moment he arrived in the house, he became Asmo's shadow. Lucifer opened doors, lifted anything he personally considered too heavy, and always had a place for Asmo to sit. 

Yes there were moments his brother appeared slightly agitated with his protective streak, but a little pampering appeared to take the edge off of his fury.

Asmo hissed and shooed him away the second Lucifer tried to take the knife he'd been using to cut fruit away from him. It was a noise Lucifer had never heard come out of Asmo before, but one he understood nonetheless. However, he was soon back to playing guardian once again to the younger demon.

"Stop."

"I haven't done a thing, Asmodeus."

Asmo rolled his eyes, "I swear, you are just as bad as Solomon."

"You offend me."

Asmo set his cup down and buried himself deeper in Lucifer's coat, "Being compared to your brother-in-law isn't that terrible of a thing now is it? He did help make both of your nieces. Niece and nephew?"

"You don't know?"

"Shush, no changing the subject."

Lucifer chuckled, once again relaxing in his own chair  and motioning with his hand for Asmo to continue.

"Anyways, Solomon makes me happy and he cares for all of us, that's gotta give him some good graces in your book right?" 

Lucifer didn't say a word on the matter. Instead, he took in the image of his brother, so content, so nurturing. While he couldn't fathom why Asmodeus would willingly wish to have another, especially not after his own experiences, he did know that the new little one would be incredibly lucky to have Asmodeus raise him. For a moment he was taken back to his days in the Celestial Realm. Back to days when a very young Asmo would steal a Belphie who was barely starting to open his eyes, hiding in the trees and bushes while Beel cried for his twin and the older angels searched in a frenzy for the two missing little ones. Back to when Asmo would herd all of the tiny baby angels one by one, and how much he adored his little doves. He would teach them so many little songs and play the cutest of games with them. Back to when Asmo fantasized about having a little flock to call his own.

It shouldn't have been a surprise that he would go on and have his own and yet-

Lucifer would not have questioned Asmo in the Celestial Realm. But he had questioned him when he had his first.

But his jewel had overcome Lucifer's fears. He had broken a cycle and even found a partner who had chosen to be just as attentive. 

Sometimes Lucifer wondered if he had ever been able to break the cycle himself, or if he was just another perpetrator in the endless circle. 

"Do you have a name picked out for them?"

Asmo smiled, albeit a bit sheepishly, "Well, yes. I told Solomon to pick one out since I named Lilith."

"And? Did your human manage to come up with anything worthwhile?"

"He did," Asmo's features softened as he pulled Lucifer's coat closer to his face, "Ariel. He seemed particularly fond of the same. He says it so sweetly. Humans are funny, he likes to talk to him, it's adorable really-"

"He talks to him?" Lucifer smirked.

"It's a funny thing humans do. I told him it's not the same but he still speaks to Ariel so fondly."

Lucifer noticed Asmo's eyes dip and quickly took the cup from his hands to set it on the coffee table. Asmo tried to wave him off, but Lucifer still pulled the coat up  closer to Asmo's chin all the same. The process was a draining one, Lucifer still didn't entirely understand why Asmodeus would go through it a second time.

He could never picture himself doing that again.

That ugly concern  rose up within him again. Asmodeus was so drained, so tired, so vulnerable. What if he couldn't protect him? What if there was nothing he could do to truly do to help? What if he could not be there when Asmodeus needed him the most? What if Lucifer failed to protect them again?

"Lucifer-"

"Sleep."

"Mm not-"

"Sleep." 

Despite the pout on his lips, Asmo's eyes grew heavier and heavier.  

Solomon would eventually make it home that evening, he would find Asmo fast asleep and the Avatar of Pride watching over him steadfast and unmoving.

***

It was snowing. It was one of the few things Lucifer remembered. It was a cold December night, the whole Devildom was silent and Lucifer could see his own breath even within the confines of the castle walls. No doubt the human world was just as frozen tonight.  He was pacing back and forth. No real thoughts ran through his mind, only feelings. 

He'd almost missed Solomon's text, almost didn't answer the frantic phone calls masked behind the attempt of a calm tone. A quick quiet promise of a call back and then soft click of the call ending.

Perhaps he should brew another cup of coffee. Maybe it would take his mind off his itching wings and how badly he wanted to be there despite the weather.

"You should try to go back to bed dearest," Diavolo's voice echoed off of the walls. His voice was soft and coaxing, but he was also smart enough to keep some distance between him and Lucifer at a time like this.

"And potentially miss an urgent message that needs my attention? I think not," Lucifer snorted. He fidgeted with his D.D.D., ruby eyes boring into the device as if it would give him answers sooner through his own will power. His wings twitched as he glanced back out the window. How hard would a trip really be? Just so he could be there, just so he could manage everything with his own eyes…

A hand grabbed his own, and Diavolo's eyes met his and he slowly shook his head, "Don't."

"I wasn't planning on anything."

"Don't lie to me dearest, you know I know the truth." 

They stayed in a stalemate. Their disagreements were always like a game of chess, calm and carefully navigated. There was never a trace of aggression, never an ounce of contempt, only carefully crafted words and an understanding of the moves the other side made. Diavolo used his next move to bring Lucifer's hand up to his cheek, letting him relish in the warmth and comfort of the prince. "If you will not come back to bed, at least allow me to attend to your needs."

Lucifer let out a long breath  and laid his head against Diavolo's shoulder.

He couldn't say a word as he allowed himself to be led over to one of the chairs next to the fireplace. Slowly his eyes followed Diavolo around the room as he lit the fireplace, placed a warm blanket on Lucifer's lap, and did his best to prepare tea. His hands fumbled  causing the stream to lurch as it traveled downwards towards the cup. He was nowhere near as talented as Barbatos, and his movements were clumsy, but none of that mattered. Even now, with his nervous laughter and concerned puppy dog eyes, Lucifer felt his chest flutter.

As he picked up the cup, Diavolo moved behind him. A trill left his lips as strong hands kneaded into his shoulders and along where his wings connected with his back. 

"You should let me tend to you more often."

"As if you don't do it daily?"

Diavolo chuckled and pressed a kiss against the back of his neck. "Asmodeus will be fine, you know as well as I do that Solomon wouldn't let anything happen to him."

Lucifer's eyes softened and he found himself staring deep into flames before him. He wished he could find solace in his husband's words, and yet the darkness continued to consume him. 

***

It wasn't until the early hours that Lucifer finally heard back. The storm was still unrelenting and bit the bones of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the way of it's wrath. The sound of his D.D.D. buzzing filled him with the most terrible sense of dread. For a moment, he was frozen, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the notification. Diavolo nudged it towards him on the little table. Their eyes met, and Diavolo offered him a smile and a soft nod. 

There were no words in the text, only a single image. 

Relief flooded his being. Asmo sat, exhausted but otherwise unharmed. In his arms a bundle sat wrapped on the brink of consciousness. He had a messy mop of black hair, the tiniest hint of wings peaking out, and his eyes were ones that Lucifer couldn’t help but recognize fondly. They were the color of sunsets and warm summer days. 

“He looks like Solomon.”

Lucifer hummed, “He has Asmo’s eyes… and his nose… and dimples.”

Diavolo let out a short laugh and scooted closer, the eagerness radiating off of him was palpable. He looked nothing short of hopeful. There was only one way to handle this, the correct and proper way. After all, Asmodeus had just had his second child-

“No.”

“No? What do you mean no?”

“No we are not going to bother them-”

“It wouldn’t be-”

“Asmodeus just had a child mere minutes ago and you want to barge in there and pester them both with seeing the baby? Their newborn?”

Diavolo pouted. Some things never really changed, now did they? Letting out a low chuckle, he pulled his husband closer. He ran his fingers through red locks that had darkened with age, and yet both of them were still very much the same… and also very much not. “Let them rest for a while and settle with the new one, besides weren’t you the one who was worried about me traveling in this weather? We shall visit in a few days and then you can spoil your new nephew all you want.”

Diavolo scrunched his face as Lucifer poked his nose, “Can you at least ask them for his name?”

Lucifer could feel his wings flutter, he leaned into Diavolo as he looked back down at the photo. Asmodeus hadn’t done too bad, and his human had managed to pick out a fitting name for his new nephew.

“His name is Ariel.”

"Ariel," Diavolo repeated softly, "What a human sounding name. It's wonderful."

The image before him looked so soft and warm, both of them were protected from the harsh cold of the outside, and Solomon stayed close by making sure to keep contact with Asmodeus. They were safe. They were safe, and that was what mattered. Asmodeus had someone else watching over him and that made Lucifer’s mid ease ever so slightly. They were safe, and now Asmo’s little family grew once more, and in a way Asmo continued to grow with it. 

Maybe, just maybe, Lucifer had changed as well.

Diavolo’s words tumbled in his head, and his eyes softened, “It is, isn’t it?”

#ruewrites #next gen!au #obey me #dialuci #solodeus #obey me asmodeus #obey me solomon #obey me diavolo #obey me lucifer #original demon character #original child character #fluff #angst #soft Asmodeus #Lucifer is a good big brother #Solomon is about to have a panic attack #Solomon probably had several panic attacks

[cleaners365]

The 5 Biggest Trends In Bond Cleaning We’ve Seen This Year

Just like every other industry in the world, the bond cleaning industry has evolved as well. You will notice several innovative technologies replacing the old ways of cleaning residential and commercial properties when it is time to finally move out. Even tenants and homeowners have become quite aware these days. They want the best for their property, especially when it comes to reclaiming their bond money. This is why everybody talks about the following hottest trends in move out cleaning across Melbourne and beyond:

Green Cleaning Is The New Normal

Green cleaning means eco-friendly cleaning. It means sustainable cleaning and this is where several homeowners would come in unison. Given the current climatic conditions that our planet is facing, it was only natural for the educated class to become a little more proactive. They want to protect the environment as much as they can. Even you would feel like contributing to this cause by reducing your overall move-out footprint. The best part is that these green cleaning products are highly affordable these days and are conveniently available in your nearest departmental stores. Another surprising aspect of it all is that there are numerous end of lease cleaning companies in the city that have gone green completely. So yes, sustainable cleaning has become a norm these days.

Innovative Technologies In Cleaning

The use of technology, especially in the commercial bond cleaning segment has risen to an all-time high. This has improved the quality and efficiency of cleaning tasks significantly. Because the generation of today is already quite tech-savvy, it is very easy for them to wrap their heads around what is going on. The internet of things and AR-enabled high-tech cleaning equipment along with state-of-the-art software are making it easier for tenants to clean out their property within no time.

Highly Customized Services

Every homeowner or tenant is looking for customized services. This means that no one cleaning regime is going to suit everyone. For example, if you get a significant amount of football in your living area and bedrooms, the focus is going to be on these areas and not your kitchen or bathroom. But that doesn’t mean that other areas of your house will be ignored. The key here is to stress a little extra and longer on those segments of your house that would probably require a little more attention.

Steam Cleaning Is Cool

Steam cleaning has become cool. Everyone knows that it is the best way to sterilize your baby’s milk bottle. But do you know that you can expand its scale to sterilize your entire house as well? The bond cleaning company in your city is going to use steam-powered equipment to sterilize and clean every nook and corner of your property. This means you can say goodbye to all those dirty areas and stubborn stains that have been giving you nightmares for so long. This also eliminates the use of harmful detergents up to a large extent which again proves to be a more sustainable way of cleaning your property.

UVC Technology To The Rescue

This is a rather very unique trend and it is quite new to be fair. The use of ultraviolet-c is expanding. This technology is being used widely to disinfect various areas in both commercial and residential sectors. There is a rising threat of antibiotic-resistant superbugs across the world. This is where ultraviolet-c technology comes into the picture. Also referred to as UVC, it is very effective in targetting those superbugs and sterilizing and disinfecting your home. This technology is capable of destroying the molecular bonds that hold the DNA of these viruses and bacteria together.

Final Thoughts

Wasn’t this interesting? Bond cleaning has definitely evolved over the past few years. There are several families in Melbourne that have now understood the importance of modern-day move out cleaning and the various trends and technologies that make a difference in their quality of life. Where are you?

#bond cleaning

[reigenhusband]

Me and Reigen together are an ADHD autism solidarity nightmare because we talk to each other at 400 miles an hour at a diner and stay there for hours going back and forth about idiotic stuff like what movie is better or the proper way to iron a shirt

#i argue you have to starch it and Reigen disagrees the best way is to hang it in the bathroom while you're showering and THEN iron it #it says money to use the steam and overall feels more natural #ive been pacing the kitchen excitedly thinking about that conversation with him #i don't need to be psychic to see we're soulmates #ted Talks

[rivalsforlife]

AA7 Speculation Post: One Year Later

here we go again.

A year and a day ago, I made a speculation post about if/when we’d ever be seeing AA7. Obviously, my claim that AA7 would be announced in September 2020 did not turn out to be true, but later that year we did get a leaked calendar containing information on the new ports for Chronicles, and also plans for a new aa7, which I summarized in this post.

Now that we have Chronicles we can verify that the leaks contained legitimate information (as if a statement from Capcom saying they were hacked wasn’t legitimate enough). So that leaves us with one key question: is AA7 still happening? If so, when can we expect it? As well, what other information from the leaked calendar can we consider, especially with early sales data on Chronicles? In addition, what are the implications of this new survey on Chronicles from Capcom?

All of that will be discussed under the cut so that this doesn’t take up too much space.

Revisiting The Calendar

Once again, here is a rough translation of the calendar that was present in the leaks:

As a note, in this post, I’ll be referring to our new games as “Chronicles” to prevent this from being blocked by people avoiding spoilers.

So: this original calendar, generated before the pandemic, had Chronicles releasing in Q1 of FY2021 - and it’s also important to note that in Japan, each fiscal year starts in April 1st, so FY2021 is actually April-June 2021. This shows that Chronicles was pushed back about a quarter from their expected release date. However, Chronicles was a port of already existing games, therefore somewhat less work was needed on them - upscaling models and textures, adding in some new features like autoplay and story mode, and of course, the English translation and voicework were needed, which is still a lot of course, but less compared to development on an entirely new game. In addition to that, the pandemic hit AA7 in its early development stage, assuming this schedule was still being followed by the time the pandemic hit. That could cause more delays than expected.

So the original plan was for AA7 to be released in Q3 of 2021, which corresponds to October-December, aligning with the 20th anniversary of the series in October. While it’s a desirable goal, it’s quite likely the pandemic pushed it back at least a quarter, if not more, if not cancelled it entirely. ... haha.

We’ll only know the fate of AA7 for certain when it’s announced. Which it is possible it may never be. However, I have two theories for, if AA7 is getting an announcement, when it will be:

1) Sometime during September 2021, either in the leadup to or during Tokyo Game Show this year. These are for the same reasons as I outlined in my initial speculation post. It’s a popular time for Ace Attorney game announcements, after all. TGS, according to what I can find, will be held online this year from September 30th to October 3rd. If Capcom announces AA7 earlier in September through Famitsu, like they did with AA6 for example, then we can expect to get some information during TGS... 

2) Sometime during a 20th Anniversary Event, possibly in October 2021. I’m assuming AA is planning something for the 20th anniversary - Chronicles wasn’t really marketed as a 20th anniversary release, for instance. If they can’t release a new game for the 20th anniversary (which at this rate, seems unlikely, as we’re about two months out from that with no word about it) then an announcement would be just as good at generating hype for it.

Naturally, if we reach this time next year with absolutely no news on AA7, it’s probably safe to say it’s been cancelled or at least delayed so severely that anything we currently know about it isn’t worth much.

There’s one more point of interest on the calendar: reconsidering the porting of 456. I feel that this depends heavily on how well the Chronicles ports are doing; if it’s not financially viable to keep porting games, then why bother? So, let’s take a look at that.

The Success of Chronicles

As I write this, it’s about two and a half weeks since the release of Chronicles worldwide. So... how did the games do? It’s a bit hard to tell, especially as I am not a game marketer and don’t know the expectations for Chronicles. What is obvious is that, if Chronicles does much better than expected, porting 456 and possibly even the investigations games seems likely. (If Chronicles, indeed, does especially well in the West, than a porting of the investigations games and localization of investigations 2 after ten years could very well be possible.) If Chronicles does absolutely terribly, it damages the chances of porting, and possibly of continuing the series. If it does terribly especially in the West, where the games are essentially new, it could damage the chances of any new games being localized at all.

So, a lot is riding on this, and I don’t know enough to tell how well it did. Here’s what I have found, however:

Nintendo Enthusiast reports on Famitsu sales of Switch games, and overall thinks it’s not doing so great. Chronicles ranks third on the list of Switch sales in its first week, with 14,460 units sold, over 4000 less than NEO: The World Ends With You, which was released on July 27th. Keep in mind that Chronicles was released in Japan on July 29th, which is two days later, and that these are only Japanese sales (where they’ve had Chronicles for years on both mobile and 3DS) and only Switch sales, where NEO:TWEWY is currently only available on Switch and PS4 (Chronicles has the additional platform of Steam, where there could be many more sales). In the next week, Chronicles ranked 22 overall, with NEO:TWEWY at 23, though of course they’re still a little less than 4000 units behind NEO:TWEWY overall. Slightly closing the gap, I guess.  

How about overseas data, then? ... It’s hard to tell. I can find this report from gamespot which discusses the top 20 games sold in the US in July, and Chronicles is not on the list, while NEO:TWEWY is at 16. However, they don’t give any number for the units sold, and it seems that they aren’t considering digital sales for a lot of them, so it’s hard to tell how much of a hit that is.

However, let’s go back to Japanese sales for a bit, and look at the 2019 Trilogy re-release for a comparison against Chronicles. Allegedly, combined Switch and PS4 sales in the first week of the trilogy’s release only amounted to about 8000 units, a little more than half that of Chronicles’ Switch sales. It’s also important to note that the 2019 trilogy ended up being the only ace attorney game to sell over a million copies. Ace Attorney is not a big series; I’m sure Capcom takes this into account when considering sales data, especially for ports. If Chronicles does end up doing better than the trilogy overall, it’s definitely looking good for ports and especially so for Chronicles.

However, there’s more to this than just sales data.

The Survey

Capcom now has a user survey for Chronicles, which you can answer even if you’re partway through the first game. I believe it’s only open until September 30 2021, so if you think you can finish the game before then, I’d recommend filling it out once you’re done so that you can give the best feedback.

It asks you a bunch of questions like what platform you bought it on, why you bought it, your expectations, and all sorts of detailed questions on the various mechanics, difficulty and enjoyment of the trials and investigations, satisfaction of visuals, plot, characters, music, and even free response sections for what you liked and disliked about the game. It’s a very detailed survey that’s pretty long but I think is worth filling out. At the end they ask you to fill out some demographic questions (such as age, gender (male, female, other), country, what kind of things you like to spend money on, and what kind of games you like, what platforms you have to play games on). But what’s possibly the most interesting question is this:

“If a new [Chronicles] game is released in the future, do you think you would buy it?”

This means that, depending on the answers to the survey, they could very well decide to work on a third game to Chronicles.

This has huge implications for the future of the series. I’ll probably make a separate post on plot-related stuff later, but for now... let’s talk about logistics.

In my initial AA7 speculation post I said I highly doubted that they would ever make another Chronicles game. I also said that they probably never would be localized, so, guess who’s a clown now. 

Right now the AA series is in a bit of a dry period, with no new games having been released in the last four years. As well, with Yamazaki (the director of the investigations games and AA5/6) having left Capcom, the next director of the mainline games is completely unknown. As described in this video, the main reason Chronicles ever came about was because Capcom went ahead with mainline AA5 before Takumi could come back from the Layton crossover. Now, since 2017, we don’t really know what Takumi is working on. It’s possible he’s gone back to mainline to work on AA7 (though of course, there is absolutely no evidence suggesting that he has, so definitely don’t take that as any sort of confirmation).

However, if we do get a Chronicles 3, it’s quite likely Takumi would return to work on that, as he directed the previous two games. In addition, if Chronicles ends up being such a success to completely eclipse mainline (from what I’ve heard, though I have no serious proof, Resolve is considered as highly rated as T&T by many Japanese fans) then the series could permanently go down the road of writing more Chronicles games, leaving mainline stagnant (which, let’s be real, it’s already stagnating). The success of that is uncertain considering how neatly our current Chronicles duology wraps up, but... we’ll have to see how things unfold in the future.

For now, I highly recommend filling out the survey to give your input to the series’ future directions. Maybe mention that you want localized investigations 2 somewhere in the free response section because uhh I forgot to do it in mine. do that for me.

TL;DR

Main takeaways from this post are:

- I personally expect an AA7 announcement either during TGS or a 20th anniversary event

- If Chronicles does extremely well, then 456 ports are likely to happen, and I personally speculate investigations ports (along with localized investigations 2) will as well.

- Fill out this Chronicles survey before September 30th to give your input on the games and possibly the future direction of the series. I recommend completing the games before you do, but if you think you won’t before September 30th, you can fill it out at any time.

- We Very Well May Get Another Chronicles Game. Who saw that coming. Not me.

Thanks if you read through all of this, let’s hope September/October doesn’t leave me looking like a fool again.

#aa7 speculation #my posts #ace attorney

[the-darklings]

—𝐭𝐢𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞;

⤫ pairing: johnny silverhand x corp!v(ermillion)

⤫ summary: Usually, they’re a calamity together—destructive and volatile as each other. But right now, just for a second, there is only music and them.

⤫ word count: 2.3k+

⤫ warnings: spoilers for act i & side mission the ballad of buck ravers, third person but can be read as RI ig, swearing, written in one sitting so who knows what the final result is - certainly not me. 

⤫ notes: let me leave my clown shoes outside.

It starts out the way it always does. 

One ring leads to another and she suddenly finds herself running or driving around the Night City with little to no rest, pulling one job after another. The more jobs she closes the more she seems to be in demand.

Good for business. Good for making a name for herself, too, but not so good on her overall being. 

She’s been running. Like a fucking coward. Filing her days with meaningless shit while trying desperately not to think about her ticking clock. About Jackie. 

Guilt gnaws on her bones daily. She should have done more, been better, more careful. Jackie never should have died. It was stupid and blind ambition that drove them both to try and pull this near impossible heist in the first place. Her own reckless drive has blinded her, and now the person closest to her in this fucking city is nothing more than a cold corpse. 

Fuck.

She should have sent him to his family instead. She only wanted to spare them from the grief of having to see Jackie in the state he was in but now Araska has his body and god knows what those assholes might be doing with it. 

And now…

Well she has nothing to lose, does she? She’s already dying, already hunted, her only close friend is dead. She promised to make him proud. Make it to the big leagues or make a league all on her own if that’s what it takes. Bleed this city dry if that’s the price to pay for what she wants. 

Back when she worked for Arasaka she wanted knowledge which led to power. Then she wanted guns and money and a roof over her head. 

Now she wants something more. After coming face to face with her own fragile morality, she has begun to realise how meaningless things like money and power are. Now she wants to surpass that. To become something immortal—something that will outlive her body. Maybe even outlive this city.  

Jackie should have been one of such people. 

“You look like you’re about to shit yourself,” a voice drawls from beside her, a crackle filling the air as a too familiar silhouette of a man appears in her sight. “Or cry.”

“Fuck off.”

V turns away from one Johnny Silverhand because it’s hard to look at him and not be reminded of the fact that she’s slowly dying and the construct only she can see and hear is the one doing the deed.

“This self-pitying bullshit needs to stop,” he says, ignoring her vicious words. “We share a brain, remember? I feel what you feel. It’s downright depressing in your head right now.”   

Her jaw clicks at the reminder. Everyday she wakes up and feels like they’re linked by a bridge—he stands on one side, and she on another. When they come closer, she can feel it—feel him. The overlap is near dizzying, overwhelming, even a little addictive. But it’s always followed by agony because she fights back, tries to shove him away. If not, he will consume her, but she will get him out of her head before that ever happens. 

You share a brain now, Vik had told her only days prior, his eyebrows knitted tight and—albeit subdued—but clear worry in his low voice, senses and memories, even perception. Eventually it will become impossible to tell whose who anymore. 

The worst thing is the fact that he’s right. 

She can feel Silverhand rooted inside her; a constant, a presence that is persistent to a point she knows she’s not alone even if she wishes to be. 

An echo of a being deep inside her.

“Then get the hell out,” she bites back, fighting to keep her temper leashed so she doesn’t burst out at him like she did at the diner. She can still remember the wary stares she received from the diners when she started shouting verbally at a figment only she could perceive in the first place. “I didn’t ask for a parasite to make himself home in my brain.”

Johnny scoffs under his breath, raising a cigarette to his mouth, and she’s nearly overcome with need to remind him that he’s fucking dead, and can’t smoke. That, and the fact that she would prefer him to leave her the fuck alone. 

“You did the job, didn’t ya? You sure you didn’t have this comin’?”

Flipping him off, she storms past him, her jaw clenched to appoint it aches and eyes narrowed. Just her luck not only to get stuck with a human tumour but for the said tumour to be a bastard to boot.  

So much for being buddies. 

Sun has set over Westbrook hours ago yet Chinatown is as busting with life as always. Overflowing with conversations all spoken in different languages, smells, distant gunshots, and people from all walks of life just trying to survive. Even during her years with the Arasaka, she never quite got used to the vastness of the Night City—not even when she was sure she was at the top. The way this city seems to breathe and fester day in and out; a living beast full of dangers and potential is unique. 

Lost in the crowd, it’s almost easy to forget who she is aside from another face in the said crowd. She’s not a merc, not an ex-corp working counterintelligence—she’s not anything. 

Her optics catch sight of several Tiger Claws lingering around the market, and she makes sure to give them a wide berth, especially when she notes the impressive list of their stats. She’s not stupid enough to attack outright when they outclass her—for now—and there are several of them around. With the market this busy the only outcome to that fight would be a bloodbath with police on her ass when that’s the last thing she needs right now. 

Despite that logical part inside her steering her well clear of the gang members the need to blow off some steam bubbles under her skin. An ache starts to form against her temple soon after, making her focus blur around the edges as she wanders from vendor to vendor aimlessly. 

“Hey, V,” a rumble of a voice cuts through her thoughts—and she hates how she can’t quite ignore his voice unlike everyone else—and turns her head in the direction of the call. She had foolishly assumed he was going to give her some peace of mind for tonight at least. “Check this guy out.”

Walking up a dimly lit staircase, she had barely noticed a man sitting on a rickety chair and playing a guitar. Much like her, others walk right past him, ignoring the man altogether. 

Johnny glimmers into sight, squatting in place and oddly intent on observing the old man while he plays.   

She entertains the idea of walking away simply to piss him off. If something is of interest to him, then she wants to ignore it so hard it gets under his nonexistent skin. Petty, perhaps, but ever so satisfying. 

Hearing no reply or receiving much reaction at all, Johnny slants his head her way, nodding once towards the man, “What do you think?”

Squinting, she drags her gaze towards the guitarist, crossing her arms over her chest while she listens. She’s not even sure why she’s bothering but…

The melody is slow, near drowned out by the bustling sounds of the nearby market and chatter of people walking past. 

“He’s...fine?” she offers lamely. “I mean he’s pretty good.”

A slight smirk crosses over Johnny’s mouth—gone in a blink but the focus he places on the man who seems to be unaware of her or the silent second spectator surprises her. 

“Loses tempo more than he keeps it,” he comments, almost absently, and she feels her eyebrows arch in another show of bewilderment. A quiet spells falls over their little nook, and Johnny listens more, thoughts rolling inside his head if his body language is any sign. “Sloppy on the technique but he has feeling in the way he plays. Can’t teach that.”

“If only you didn’t die,” she sighs softly, closing her eyes in mock sympathy. “This could have been you.”

He surprises her again by laughing at that. It’s a deep rumble of a sound, and she can almost feel it echo between them and their mental bridge. “You’re kinda of a bitch. Has anyone told you that before?”

Her teeth flash in the dim orange glow of the neon lights. “And you’re sort of a dick. Anyone tell you that before?” she wonders with a charming, practiced smile. 

He flickers out of sight and she’s about to call it a mental victory but a tickle of electricity kisses across the bare curve of her shoulder and neck, and she shivers when he appears beside her. His arms are crossed as well, and he glances her way briefly.

“Seems to me like we’re two peas in a fuckin’ pot, then,” he points out easily, and shakes his head, seemingly amused by his own words. “I might have tried to kill you a few weeks ago but look at us being chummy, Ver.”

Her throat closes up at that, expression tightening. He notices of course. Or maybe it’s the unease that slices through her mind at the casual way he uses her nickname. 

“What? Am I not allowed to call you that or somethin’?” he wonders curiously, seemingly entertained by her reaction. Asshole. 

“Only my friends call me Ver.”

Jackie was the first. 

That thought makes her swallow painfully, a dull ache clawing against her heart. One would think that years being a corpo would have wiped whatever humanity still lived in her but Jackie’s death had been a stark reminder that she couldn’t be further from the truth if she tried.  

“Why?”

She gives him a flat look. “Because my full name is Vermillion, but people tend to find it a mouthful so…”

“Vermillion,” he repeats, his intonation dry, and she shoots him a quick glare, daring him to make an issue of it. Naturally, his next words don’t surprise her, “That’s a stupid fuckin’ name.”

“Oh, because Johnny Silverhand is so much better.”

She expects him to say something snarky in return, argue maybe, but he only snorts. His metal hand lifts, pushing his aviators down slightly as he glances at her over them.

“You got me there.” 

Usually, they’re a calamity together—destructive and volatile as each other. But right now, just for a second, there is only music and them. Shadows and life of the Night City holding them both suspended in this moment. No arguments or biting comments. No guilt, either. 

A slight smile tugs across her mouth as she continues listening to the man play his downbeat little tune. Her shoulders loosen, drooping slightly and she lets herself breathe for a moment. Just the one. 

“Used to be just like him,” Johnny speaks up suddenly, his voice more subdued, lower, and taps his fingers against the cigarette he’s holding. “But better. Used to play everywhere we could. Garages, bars. Anywhere that would have us, and we always had an audience.”

She hums, offering him a brief glance. “You mean you were actually good?”

She can’t see his eyes in the darkness of the street or through his tinted shades. But despite that, she can still feel his glare and the mental bite of chagrin/irritation/why is she so annoying? and deeper than that a spark of amusement/little shit thinks she’s funny. 

“What’s this?” he muses, his words sarcastic. “A corpo rat that actually has a sense of humour? Colour me surprised.”

“No can do,” she shoots back promptly, fighting back a wider grin. “You’re too dead for that.”

He tsks, throwing his cigarette to the ground and she almost rolls her eyes. “Can’t wait to be out of your damn head, princess.” 

“Can’t wait to be rid of you, either, so the feeling is mutual.”

Their words might be stringent but she can almost taste the faint amusement trickling between them and under that bridge that connects them. 

“There might still be some bootlegs of those old days,” he muses thoughtfully. “People used to record everything back in my day.”

She drags her gaze his way, lips thinning into a firm line, “I’m not becoming a fan, if that’s what you’re hoping for.”

“Afraid you’ll hear real music and won’t be able to go back to this modern garbage I hear everywhere?”

There is challenge in his words and she bristles. Maybe this is what she needs. She may not be able to put holes in some Tiger Claws with her sniper rifle but she sure as hell can go on a scavenger hunt and see what she finds. 

Besides, it might help her to understand the man nested inside her mind a little better.

So when an hour later the old, wrinkly vendor asks her why he should give her his oldest, most precious Samurai vinyl, she tells him the truth. 

A twisted truth. 

But truth all the same.

“He’s with me every step I take, every move I make,” she confesses softly, something deep down breathing awake at that admittance. “Johnny’s like my conscience. My eternal, infernal moral compass.”  

She doesn’t miss how the man in question doesn’t appear, doesn’t say anything even after hearing that. She would have figured he would be the first in line to offer her some mocking, snarky comment but there is only silence. 

In fact, she can barely feel him at all. The tether between them is still and quiet. 

And his silence says a lot more than he probably realises. 

.

an: hello. guess whose not dead and kinda back to writing. dunno how much of cp77 you should expect because coa is still my priority but maybe occasional fic for these dumbos is on the cards. oh, and takemura because cdpr are cowards for not giving us that enemies to friends/partners to lovers romance. also I know this isn’t strictly RI and I honestly considered writing it as such but saw...no point? since the premise still would have been the same, so something a little different today ig. 

#cyberpunk 2077 #johnny silverhand #johnny silverhand x v #johnny silverhand x female v #keanu reeves #johnny silverhand imagine #johnny silverhand fic #cyberpunk 2077 imagine #cyberpunk 2077 fic #c: vermillion #s: get out of my head

[lorelylantana]

Savageries of the Heart Chapter 6; Heritage

First -Previous -Next

Chapter rating: T Overall Rating: E

Noodle turned out to be quite the escape artist, if the flickering of a forked tongue against her chin was any indication. Zelda’s giggle swiftly turned into a yawn. Noodle wriggled into her hair until Zelda lifted her head so the serpent could take her usual space coiled around her neck.

“Good morning, Dove,” Link cooed softly, kissing her shoulder as she sat up. 

“Good morning,” she said with a stretch. She leaned on Link’s shoulder to look down at the slate in his hands. “What are you doing?”

“I’m just looking through some of the messages that piled up over our honeymoon,” he said, tapping out a reply to his latest missive. Zelda’s brow wrinkled.

“Don’t you do that in your office?”

“I could do it in our office,” he admitted, and Zelda felt him smile against her cheek, “but that would mean leaving you here to wake up alone, and that wouldn’t be very hospitable, would it?”

She grinned and shook her head.

“What’s on the agenda for today?” she asked, booping Noodle’s nose. Link clicked out of his messages and brought up a schedule. 

“I don’t have many appointments today, so I thought I’d give you a tour.”

Walking through her new home felt like walking through a dream. Her breath steamed in front of her, even though Zelda fel perfectly comfortable, if not warm. Her bare feet walked across frozen stone floors as Link led her through chambers carved into the mountain. It was a surreal feeling, walking next to walls of solid ice, light filtering through in tendrils onto the floor. On her other side was a line of doors. Curious, she opened one, and was surprised to find a bedroom.

“For guests?” she asked, though she couldn’t imagine that many would willingly stay in a frozen abode such as theirs. Link shook his head.

“Children,” he clarified, then caught himself, “Not that we need them! I mean-” he sighed, “I didn’t marry you to pump out heirs. That’s not how we do things.”

“It’s how my family does things,” Zelda said. She wouldn’t say that she was a natural born mother, but there was this vengeful feeling that had grown over the years that was determined to continue her line, even if it was just to prove she could. Zelda ran her eyes down her husband’s figure. At the very least she had a strong set of genes to work with.

“In any case, It’s the one thing I can do to honor my family, making sure the weakest link doesn’t break the chain.”

Link paused then, turning to look her in the eyes. There was a tragic look in his eyes that would make Zelda bristle were it not for the rage burning quietly behind the melancholy.

“Is that how you see yourself?”

Zelda looked down, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze.

“It’s how my people see me.”

“I wouldn’t count on that.”

She looked up at him, a question on her lips, before he cleared his throat. “I think breakfast should be ready by now. Let’s go eat.”

An moment later, Zelda was seated at the table for breakfast, which gave Link an opportunity to help her settle into her new home and give her a brief explanation of what would be expected of her as a Warden’s wife. As a Mother of the Zonai she would be expected to handle domestic affairs. This included holding audiences and coordinating joint efforts between regions among other housekeeping tasks, handling the finances and presiding over festivals and rituals and whatnot. The Dragonlands were the political center of the Zonai, and marrying its Warden meant that she had an additional responsibility of leading an organization based on the Temple Mesa.

“Wait a moment,” Zelda held up a hand, “You mean to tell me the Hands of Hylia is a Zonai organization?”

The Hands of Hylia was a renowned charity that gathered resources from across Hyrule to redistribute them when needed. Their quick response to epidemics, famines, and other such disasters quickly earned them the reputation of the kingdom’s greatest first responders. Her uncle had poured a generous amount of money to the administration, if only to claim a portion of the glory and saving the castle embarrassment for it’s slow response time. 

“I don’t understand. What’s the point in helping a nation that looks down on you so?”

Link leaned back, considering before putting his thoughts to words.

“You know the Sheikah once served the Hyrulean royal family,”

“I did,” Zelda nodded, “Because of Hylia’s blood.”

“Yes, but that’s not all. The Sheikah value knowledge, and so they served Hylia’s daughters, paragons of wisdom before they were usurped by their fathers.”

“What does this have to do with the Zonai?”

“Because the Zonai follow the Hero. At least, we follow his example.”

“I’m sorry, what ‘Hero’?”

Link gave her a quizzical look, “The Hero, the one in all of the stories.”

Zelda shook her head, drawing a blank.

“You really don’t know? No one told you? What about the history books?”

“My uncle had all the history books burned shortly after he took the throne,” Zelda said, in a trance, “Anything that referenced Hyrule’s matrilineal line was disposed of.”

Link cursed before getting up and taking her hand, pulling Zelda as he walked to the same alcove they materialized in the night before. He pressed a button, and they were gone in a flash of light,

Zelda expected her feet to form on top of the sandy beach, not the stone worn smooth by eons pressing against her skin like a well trodden path. Her gasp echoed over towering walls etched with a procession of men and women making their way towards the biggest statue of Hylia she had ever seen.

Zelda felt all at once so small yet nostalgic in a way that drove her forward, paying no thought to her bare feet and the casual slip hanging from her shoulders. 

She had a place here, and she felt secure in this undeniable, instinctive sense of unity that swelled in her chest and seeped into her bones.

“What is this place?” she whispered.

“They call the Temple of Time the birthplace of Hyrule, but this,” Link gestured to the massive statue “Is where your bloodline began, when the Goddess Hylia came down to earth and brought her light to the land.”

Zelda walked with him as he led her over the uneven stone, wrapping her arms around his right. After years of precious little physical touch, going to be with her husband had been the release of a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, and found herself gravitating towards Link, who seemed more than receptive to her advances, holding her hand tightly in his while they walked upon the stone. They walked in revered silence until they finally reached the statue. Link took her hand and pressed it against the smooth folds of the Goddess’ robe. 

A gasp fell from her lips, there was a hum that resonated in her chest, causing her heart to flutter. Link’s skin burned against hers, and she felt this surge of affection for him that felt much older than their marriage. 

“Hylia’s line has survived for thousands, if not millions of years, surviving famine, disease, and several wars. Do you really think it can be extinguished so easily?”

Zelda shook her head.

“No.”

“Then we agreed,” he said, hooking an arm around her and bringing his slate around, “Now let’s go home.

Zelda had been sitting at her new desk when her translator began to chime. She glanced at her slate to see who it was.

Owlan (Resting Father of the Dragonlands)

“Owlan?” she said when the call connected. Was there anyone in Hyrule that wasn’t a Zonai in disguise?

“Hello Mother Zelda. I thought I’d see how you were settling in, and I wanted to say that you can call me anytime if you need some pointers for your new position. I was in your shoes quite some time ago.”

“Thank you, that means a lot,” she said, before clearing her throat, “How are things in the castle?”

“As you likely expected, Prince Nohansen wasted no time in commanding your old room to be refurbished for his occupancy.”

“What was wrong with his old one?” she asked. Owlan chuckled.

“It wasn’t yours, of course,” was his snide reply, “You should know the Commissioner returned from his sabbatical, he kicked up quite a fuss when he heard of your nuptials.”

“Really?” there was no love lost between Zelda and the Commissioner. Her uncle’s right hand man was adamant that she spend her days in the castle’s shadow rather than lend her talents to worthier pursuits. “You’d think he’d be glad to get rid of me.”

Owlan hummed thoughtfully, “I’m concerned he may know more about the Zonai than he’s letting on.”

“I could say the same of you,” Zelda quipped, she got a chuckle for her efforts.

“Fair enough. How are you adjusting to your new position?”

“I’m still a bit overwhelmed, but well enough considering the Zonai’s true nature,” she admitted, dragging her finger over her desk’s surface. A list of ingredients she’d ordered scrolled at her touch. Zelda had made her order hours ago, but still fiddled with the giant screen. The novelty of it all hadn’t quite worn off yet. “I must admit, the bath was divine. I’ve never seen such a lovely room.”

“I wouldn’t know, so I’ll take your word for it.”

That gave Zelda pause.

“But weren’t you Father of the Dragonlands?”

“The requirement for being a Zonai Caretaker is a family tie with the region’s Warden, what kind doesn’t really matter. It could be a parent and child, cousins, even best friends, if they sign an oath to one another. I’ve never had much interest in romantic relationships myself, but I was more than willing to support my sister as she watched over the land. In fact, I think you’re actually the first Mother who married in for quite some time.”

“Is that right?” Zelda asked. It seemed the older her marriage grew, the stranger it became. And then, before her eyes, strings of light condensed in front of her. 

“What is it?” Owlan asked when he heard her gasp. Zelda shook her head.

“Just more Zonai wonders I have to get used to.”

Owlan blew out a laugh, “I can imagine. I’ll let you get back to the intricacies of Zonai culture. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. I’m at your service, Mother of the Dragonlands.”

The call disconnected. Zelda shook her head ruefully, looking at the piles of fruit and herbs within her reach. With a swipe of her hand, the recipe for the Zonai body paint was on screen. She reached for the nearest Armoranth. 

It was time she got to work.

#link #zelink #zelda #loz botw #loz #legend of zelda #botw #botw zelink #legend of zelda breath of the wild #botw link #LantanaLore #zelink fanfiction

[neokids]

Fortune's Fool: Act VII

Masterlist

Act VII

Tw: Lots of blood, character death, violence, murder, guns, knives, weapons, foul language, self-inflicted wounds, suicide, overall graphic content

In just a span of a few days, whispers have already spread. At first, it was only suspicions that it wasn’t something natural or a person but the bible repeating itself. People started to believe that it was something like 10 the plagues of Egypt, this time happening in Seoul.

Then people started to see things.

Couples who had their afternoon strolls reported seeing a slimy creature dive into the Han river. Some Viper workers said they had heard low growling and grumbling noises they thought came from the machines, but when they turned it off, the bizarre noises only grew louder. Fishermen who worked late at night reported to see silver flashing eyes in the water. Perhaps the most terrible “sighting” would have been near the Poculum. A customer was passing by with the intentions of having a drink late at night only to see a panting, struggling creature near the garbage disposal. It was unnatural for sure, the shadow it cast resembled nothing like the creatures and animals that walk the face of the earth today.

“It has eyes of the devil, mama!” Yeji heard the little boy in front of her exclaim. They were currently waiting in line to get hot buns from a fast food restaurant. Yeji watched the boy as he excitedly told his story to his mother, guessing he had heard it from a playmate. “The monster had a spine as sharp as knives” The boy added, causing his mother to look at him disinterestedly. There have been numerous deaths added from the original incident, causing people to speculate. But the more people talked, the more the truth has been twisted.

Yeji would have brushed off the rumors, ruling it as a way to keep children frightened when they were being unruly. But the fear people have been feeling is very real, their lives were in danger. There must be a reason to why people had started talking, speculating.

“Nonsense.” The mother scolded her child, as she fiddled with her bracelet. The mother was obviously scared as well, hearing her son's stories did not help whatsoever.

“They say it is like a modern day dragon!” the boy added, not even bothering to listen to his mother, “It attacks the gangsters at night when it smells their blood. It hides in the shadows, waiting for the perfect time, then boom! It attacks.” The child said, his hand motions accompanying his exaggerated story.

The mother could only look and sigh at her son, “It is not only the gangsters who are dying, nae adeul,” The mother paused, looking at his now terrified son. “No one is safe now.” She continued as she placed a hand on her son’s shoulder.

That’s one comforting mother alright,

The son suddenly stopped in his tracks. He looked at his mother, fear replacing the jolly expression he had before. “Am I going to die, mama?” The boy asked.

“Of course not.” The mother said in a defensive tone. She quickly got the two bags filled with steaming buns in front of her and left, with her son still quite scared.

Who wouldn’t be in a time like this?

As they left, Yeji couldn’t help but stare at their disappearing figures. A child, no older than five, was already worrying about whether or not he would live another day. A child like him should be worrying about what flavor of ice cream he should get, or what he should play with his friends. He shouldn’t fear for his life. How much time did they have left until the city of Seoul became nothing but a mass graveyard?

“On us, miss.”

Yeji snapped out from her train of thought to see a bag already in front of her, filled to the brim with steaming hot buns.

“Everything for the princess of Seoul.” The old baker said with a smile. Yeji took a better look at the place, then at the old man in front of her. The bakery was very old, to the point where you could see loose wires everywhere. The man in front of her was also very old, it looked like the bakery was all he had. The only reason why Yeji was here in the first place was because Lia wouldn’t stop bugging her about trying the famous steam buns in Hongdae.

“You have a family, ahjussi?” Yeji asked as she took the bag, the man’s face lighting up immediately.

“I do! I have a lovely wife I come home to everyday and five children! Two girls and three boys!” The baker answered as he perched his elbows on the window.

“I see,” Yeji paused as she took something out from her pocket, it was a red envelope with gold lettering. The man’s face grew in shock. “No miss Hwang, it is in the house! We have been affiliated with the Vipers for a long time now and I owe everything to them. Please it is okay.” The man said as he pushed the envelope back.

“No, please do take it. You have worked hard enough.” Yeji said as she placed the envelope in the baker’s calloused hands. With a smile, Yeji left.

As she browsed the streets of Hongdae, she couldn’t help but let out a breath of relief. She was relieved she was able to have a few hours to herself. She had just finished visiting the drug den her father had sent her to, and it was more boring than she thought. She expected a top secret lab, like the ones she would always see in movies. Only for her to be greeted with a smelly and sketchy apartment. When she had collected the money, the man passed it to her half-asleep, he too looked high on whatever he was on that moment. She had only been there for a solid 30 seconds and her duty was done for the day. Hongdae was filled with lovers taking their strolls, family spending some quality time together, friends on dates, and native weirdos too.

“The end is near! The world is going to end! Jeremiah 11:11! There is only one cure!”

Yeji grimaced as she tried to quickly pass the man. She tried to cover her face in hopes of not getting seen by the shouting man, but to her misfortune, the man had locked his eyes on her. The man started to head her way as she quickened her pace. She thought he had lost the man following her, only for him to suddenly jump in front of her.

Does this man not know who I am?

“Salvation!” The man screeched, causing Yeji to freeze in her tracks. The man flailed his arms in the air, as if he was waiting for someone to pick him up. “Spread the word of salvation, miss!” He exclaimed as he took another step towards her.

Yeji was quick to back away, she was getting weirded out by the old man, “I’m not that religious, sorry.” She decided unsure on what to say, the man’s eyes suddenly grew wider until it could pop out from his socket anytime.

“The doctor can give us a cure.” He said. “I’m not quite sure a doctor has found a cure yet,” Yeji said carefully.

“The doctor saved me!” The man further added. This time, Yeji wasn’t sure if he was referring to doctors, or a particular doctor.

“Hey you know what, a doctor saved me too.” she said as she placed her hands on her hip. “I was like what, seven years old?” she continued, amusing herself now. “I bumped my head on my mother’s picture frame and let’s just say she was worried more about the picture frame.” She said, remembering it like it was yesterday. “Ever since then, I started eating apples.” Yeji said as she looked at the man, waiting for him to catch her joke.

“Because you know…” She trailed off, the man only looking at her in a blank manner. “An apple a day, keeps the doctor away!”

The old man only stared at her. He looked at her like she was speaking some sort of foreign language no an on earth had ever heard of.

“Corny joke?” Yeji asked, speaking Korean a bit more slowly for the man to understand. “Come on, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, right? Come on, I deserve a chuckle at least.”

The man groaned and stomped his foot, signaling for her to take him seriously.

“The doctor is only one person.” he hissed, his face contorting into a weird facial expression Yeji couldn’t quite figure out. “A person of great passion. He gave me the cure and I am now immune to this madness. An injection! I am supposed to be dead! When my friend had clawed himself and lay dead next to me, I should have been next! But I am here! Alive and well!”

Yeji took another step back, one she should have taken before the man had started talking.

“Good for you,” Yeji said, thinking of an escape plan. “But I, uh, have places to be.” Before she could turn around, the man had already grabbed her wrist.

“Salvation!” The man screamed, “Only the doctor could bring salvation!” She quickly jerked her hand back away from the man as she hurried off.

She took sharp turns every now and then, making her route in a dark alleyway. She passed by groups of men who seemed like they were all ready to kidnap the next person they see. She passed by men throwing knives at each other, she also passed by a group of women aiming their guns at each other, but she was not scared. She was in her territory, she was above all.

Just as she was in the middle of another alleyway, Yeji immediately stopped to the feeling of a cold metal pressed against her neck. She knew it wasn’t a threat of any Viper, no Viper dared. Her mind ran wild, thinking of all the possible people who would try such thing,

Until a familiar voice had said: “Don’t make a sound. Keep walking, and I won’t shoot.”

The feeling of uncertainty immediately was replaced by the feeling of rage. Did he really wait for Yeji to enter an isolated place? Until she was far from the crowd? Did he really think that would work on her?

“You don’t know me as much as I thought you would.” Yeji said quietly, maybe Jeno didn’t know her at all when they were still friends. Maybe he never really cared to know about her. Maybe he just agreed to be friends to get information from her, and he did.

“Walk,” Jeno demanded.

Yeji stood still. As she planned, Jeno thought she was scared and so he eased the press of his gun against her neck. She slowly brought her hand to trace Jeno’s gun, her sudden caress took him by surprise. From his gun, her hand trailed to his own. Touching his long fingers, to his prominent veins. Her touch was light and held no danger whatsoever,

Or so he thought.

She whirled around, faster than Jeno could even process. In a blink of an eye, she had already slapped the gun from his grip causing it to drop on the floor somewhere. She had bent his arm in a way no arm should be bent. She had him quickly pinned to floor, her legs on both sides of his hips with a knife pressed to his throat.

“Let’s try this again, shall we? Like normal civilized people.” She breathed. Jeno too was trying his hardest not to breathe too much, or else his throat would come in contact with the knife. His dilated eyes narrowed at her, as he took a breath.

“Normal civilized people?” He mocked her tone, his voice a bit raspy. “You have a knife pressed against my throat.”

“You had a gun pressed against my neck.”

“Does it look like I have a choice? I’m in your territory.”

Yeji glared at him as she pressed the knife further into his skin causing a drop of blood to appear.

“Stop! Stop!” Jeno flinched. “I’m sorry.”

With one quick motion, Yeji could have sliced his neck open. She had been dreaming of this for four years, she was almost tempted to give it a try. Although she was fighting all thoughts she had of killing him, one thought had crept up in her mind.

Jeno still smelled like he used too. He smelled like smoke and mint, with a hint of his perfume. Noticing this particular detail made Yeji think how possible it was for everything and nothing to change.

“Well go ahead then,” Yeji prompted, “Explain yourself.”

She could feel Jeno trying to fight, but with one press of her blade, he would stop. She could track his every movement just from the tip of her blade.

“I needed information,” Jeno managed.

“Surprisingly.”

His eyebrow arched, “If you let me go, I could explain.”

“Well let’s see…” Yeji said, pretending to think. “How about no? I prefer if you explained like this.”

“Oh, Yeji”

Click.

The sound of someone pressing the trigger echoed all throughout the alleyway. Yeji looked to her left to see the gun she had disabled a while go still in its position. She looked back on Jeno to see him smile, his smile was almost mocking.

“Did you really think I would only bring one?” He asked in a teasing manner. “You don’t know me as much as I thought you would.” He added, mocking her. Famous eye smile a contrast to his actions.

The feeling of cold hard metal suddenly touched her waist. It was as if the gun had started to burn through her clothes and made its imprint on her skin. With no choice, Yeji had to remove her knife against Jeno’s kneck. They both stood up and in unison, put their weapons away.

“The man who died in the Poculum,” Jeno began as he dusted his polo shirt. “Do you remember his mismatched shoes?”

Yeji rolled her eyes, she couldn’t believe she was actually having this conversation with the Jeno Lee, then nodded.

“I found the other shoe in the Han river the other day, the same spot where the first men had died,” He continued, “I think he was able to escape, only succumbing to the madness the next day, in your club.”

“Impossible!” Yeji denied, “What kind of science is–”

“This is no longer in the fields of science, Yeji.”

Her hands had quickly balled into fists, bunching up her blouse in the process. Jeno was really on a whole other level of stubbornness when he was focused on something. She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes,

“What do you want?” She asked, opening them again to see Jeno’s serious expression.

“I need to know whether or not if he is indeed the same man. I need to see his shoes, see if they match, if they do, this madness might be even contagious.”

Contagious,

Meaning to say that the man who had died in her club, his blood spraying in a room filled with her people, might be infectious. If that was the case, the Viper Gang is in huge trouble.

Yeji’s panic started to kick in.

“Maybe they were in some type of cult,” Yeji suggested without much persuasion. “Maybe he didn’t want to be apart of whatever they were doing, only for him to decide that he actually wanted to a day later.” But she had seen the terror of the man during his last few moments, he couldn’t speak but his eyes told everything Yeji needed to know.

Oh dear God she knelt beside the man, looked him in the eyes, and asked him what caused it. What were the chances of her getting infected?

“You and I both know that something’s not right here.” Jeno said, breaking Yeji’s small panic attack. “By the time this has alerted departments, many more innocent people will have died.”

Jeno accidentally realized what he had said, causing him to fall silent. Yeji stared at him for a while, her gaze blank, void with any emotion.

“As if you care,” She said quietly, almost inaudible. But he still heard her. “About innocent people dying.” She looked away from him in case he could see the slight water in her eyes.

Every muscle in his body tensed.

He inhaled sharply, “Fine,” he paused, “My people.”

Hearing it from him definitely felt worse. She let out her breath she didn’t know she was holding and turned around.

“Move.” She said, walking away. Only this once would she allow herself to help him, she needed the answers too. “The morgue closes in a few hours.”

#jeno mafia #jeno mafia au #yeji mafia #yeji mafia au #nct dream mafia #itzy mafia #jeno nagst #jeno smut #jeno fluff #yeji angst #yeji smut #yeji fluff #jeno x yeji au #yejeno au #yejeno #dreamzy au #dreamzy #jaemin mafia #haechan mafia #aespa mafia #karina mafia #rival gang au

[nuguflops]

is this wellness thing a scam? as tried and tested by me (v depressed person with migraines and dyslexia):

lamps that supposedly imitate sun and help people with jetlag and depression: not a scam (i got mine at tk maxx, it works fine but it's not a gamechanger. just don't use them if you are bipolar bc there's a chance of them triggering mania)

aroma diffusers: not a scam (i had one that doubles as humidifier and it was okay, it's just i have imparied smell so it was whatever for me)

journaling: requires effort that sometimes is hard to come by, not really a scam but it shouldn't be treated as a magic cure (but often is) and not everyone is good with words (which journaling can help improve but it's not guaranteed)

daily walks: as above, also if you hate being perceived .. yea

dry brushing: not a scam (especially if you are touch starved, it feels so nice. proper brushes arent expensive and there are easy to follow tutorials on yt by lymph nodes experts)

mood trackers: not a scam (easier than journaling because (at least i do it like that) you just colour a box / circle etc according to your mood. it's just hard to remember to do it everyday because backlogging kinda defeats the purpose)

memory foam pillows: not a scam (crazy but fixing your posture improves your overall quality of life... who would've thought)

l-tryptophan supplements: hard to say (bc the supplement industry is shady. i had decent results myself but if you are a sweaty person it might make it worse)

sheetmasking: not a scam (but can get $. i had a period in my life when i sheetmasked everyday... i wasnt more stable than i am now, when i do it 1-2 per week, 3 if im feeling crazy)

bath bombs: not a scam (remember to pee after bath and avoid bath bombs with glitter of unknown origin. also you need a bathtub and if you share a flat.. you have to scrub it Well before. and bathbombs are bit expensive ngl)

candles: idk im paranoid of starting a housefire

binaural beats: 50:50 (some like adhd focus ones work for me 100%, but the more subliminal ones are questionable..)

life coaching: 90% scam (i minored in it, trust me. if you have mental illness the coach will either ignore it to get your money or act as they should aka refer you to a mental health specialist. coaching is a thing for normies and majority of coaches don't have any credentials but a weekend course)

steam eye masks: not a scam (these are those eye masks that warm up and feel very relaxing. i like to use them after a long day, but they can too get expensive)

pillow sprays: not a scam (but get one that has natural fragrance (like this works sprays) because the more synthetic ones just... smell and don't work that well)

sleep trackers: not a scam (fit bands tend to have a built in tracker but it liza minelli lies, i used to do the same thing as with mood tracker aka colour a box according to how well i slept)

yoga: not a scam (just don't be a disrespectful white person ok i won't elaborate)

this is 100% my personal experience and i didnt list all my health concerns bc i enjoy privacy 💜

#ok to reblog not okay to argue with me :)) #im writing this so i dont forget later 😔

[dustedmagazine]

Dust Volume 7, Number 5

Sarah Louise

A week or two before this Dust’s deadline, we got our first tour announcement by email in more than a year. It was the first of deluge, as live music looks to be coming back with a vengeance starting this summer and really picking up steam around September. Meanwhile, we celebrate our newly vaxxed (or for our Canadian correspondents half-vaxxed) status with tentative steps outside. Your editor had her first beer at a brew pub in mid-May, and it was stupendous. Also stupendous, the onslaught of new music, which has, if anything, accelerated. This month, contributors include all the regulars plus a few new people: Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Patrick Masterson, Ray Garraty, Tim Clarke, Andrew Forell, Ian Mathers, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw and Chris Liberato. Happy spring, happy normal and happy listening!

Amulets — Blooming (The Flenser)

Blooming by AMULETS

Like a lot of us, Portland-based noise artist Randall Taylor discovered the solace of long walks during the pandemic. His work, which has always used tape degradation to explore the intersection of time, loss and technology, shifted to incorporate another source of decay: the natural world. So, in opening salvo, “Blooming,” alongside blistering onslaughts of eroded guitar sound, it is possible to hear the sounds of a fertile garden — birds, insects, air movement. You can nearly smell the flowers and feel the sunshine on your skin. “The New Normal” explores sounds of creaking, friction-y word and metal, alongside pristine chimes of synthetic tone. It is uneasy, with skittering string-like squeaks and swoops, but also deeply meditative; it shifts from moment to moment from anxiety to provisional acceptance, much as we all did last year, staring out our windows. Overall, the tone is elegiac, gorgeous, but Randall does not hesitate to introduce dissonance. “Heaviest Weight” thunders with frayed bass tones, a weight and a threat in their subliminal pulse. The contrast between that ominous sound and purer, clearer layers of melody, makes for unsettling listening—are we at war or peace, happy or sad, agitated or calm? And yet, perhaps that’s the point, that the past year has been swirl of feelings, boredom alongside anxiety, hope lighting the corners of our listlessness, the smell of flowers pleasing but faintly reminiscent of funerals. Blooming decocts this mix into sound.

Jennifer Kelly

 Astute Palate — S-T (Petty Bunco)

Astute Palate by Astute Palate

Astute Palate is a hastily assembled group of rockers summoned to support David Nance in Philly on a date when he couldn’t bring the David Nance Band. Participants included Richie Records proprietor Richie Charles, Lantern’s Emily Robb, Writhing Squares/Purling Hiss/all around Philadelphia regular Daniel Provenzano on bass and, of course, Nance himself, all huddled together in Robb’s recording studio for a weekend together. None of this origin story does justice, however, to the pure liquid fire of this one-off musical collaboration, dominated by Nance’s viscous, distorted blues-inflected guitar wail, but knocked sideways by brute force drumming, wild hypnotic bass lines and the ritual incantation of Nance (and later Robb) singing. The long “Stall Out” does anything but, rampaging free-range in unbridled Crazy Horse/Allmans-style abandon for close to ten minutes without a single sputter. “A Little Proof” is somehow simultaneously heavier and more country, spinning out the soul-blues jams like a younger, unrulier cousin to MC5. “Treadin’ Schuylkill” gives Provenzano the spotlight, opening with a growling bass solo soon joined by heavy psych guitars (a nod, perhaps, to the illustrious locals in Bardo Pond). If Nance et. al. can pull stuff this fine out in a stray road warrior weekend, what are the rest of you doing with your lives?

Jennifer Kelly

 Axis: Sova — Fractal (God?)

Fractal - EP by Axis: Sova

Axis: Sova is a combo of three Chicago guys plus one drum machine, which had already been inactive for two or three seasons before the initial COVID lockdown. This digital EP is their way of clearing up some business that could no longer remain undone. The title tune, “Fractal USA,” is a remake of a song from the early days, when the “band” was Brett Sova’s solo project, to full-on, no your pants aren’t tight enough rock band. They just needed you to know about the evolution, you see, so go ahead, do some scissor kicks and gurn while they windmill away; you have enough money saved up from not seeing live music to pay the inevitable chiropractor bill. “Caramel” hypothesizes that a Cluster song that’s played twice as loud and twice as long is twice as good; not sure if I agree, but it’s still not bad at all. Maybe you got a little weird after a few months of putting on your best mask for your daily trip to see if the stimulus check was in the mailbox? The Brenda Ray-meets-Old Black mash up, “(Don’t Wanna Have That) Dream,” is proof that while you were alone, you weren’t alone. If you’ve made it this far, you don’t need to have the fourth track described, so let’s just say that it’s longer.

Bill Meyer

Mattie Barbier — Three Spaces (self-released)

three spaces by mattie barbier

While perhaps best known as half of the trombone-centric new music duo RAGE Thormbones, Mattie Barbier is a member of several other combos and a sonic researcher under their own name. Three Spaces, which is a single, album-length sound file, has the air of experimentation about it. “What do I do,” one can imagine Barbier asking themself, “when I can’t play with other people?” Make music at home, and out of what’s at home, is the obvious answer. But doing isn’t the only point here; the outcome also matters, and while what Barbier has accomplished with Three Spaces sounds quite different from the RAGE Thormbones live experience, it registers quite strongly. Barbier has combined long tones and melodic fragments played on euphonium, trombone and reed organ, that were recorded both inside and outside of their home. Carefully layered, the source material combines into a sound rather like a bell’s toll, which over the course of nearly 39 minutes swells and recedes, but never quite decays; it ends with an imposed rather than natural fade-out. The sound is as deep as it is expansive, inviting the listener to let themselves fall ever father into its realm.

Bill Meyer

 Beneath — On Tilt EP (Hemlock Recordings)

On Tilt EP by Beneath

One of the more pleasant surprises this year is the resuscitation of Untold’s Hemlock Recordings imprint. A vital voice in the post-dubstep fracas at the turn of the ‘10s thanks to releases from Hessle Audio’s Pearson Sound (when he was still Ramadanman) and Pangaea, James Blake, FaltyDL and Hodge to name but a handful, the label went dormant following a Ploy 12” in 2017 before the surprise announcement of Londoner Beneath’s On Tilt, which sounds every bit the sensible alliance in practice it looks on paper: These are low-end rumblers with irregular rhythms and spare melodic tics that worm their way into your brain in the best bone-humming fashion (see “Shambling” or “Lesser Circulation” for a good example). Who knows how long the return will last, but for a certain stripe of DMZ-damaged devotee and pretty much no one else, it’ll feel good to have some Hemlock in your life again. Tilt back, pour in.

Patrick Masterson

 Black Spirit— El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos (Infinite Night Records)

More metal comes from South America than Spain, but these Europeans clear the high bar set by Latin America scenesters. The album’s title states that it was inspired by “El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos.” That can testify both to lasting influence of Goya’s art and to the laziness of the current culture which seeks inspiration only from the most popular pictorial art of the past. The track “Ignorance and The Grotesque” perfectly captures the whole mood of the disc: it balances ignorant speeds, undecipherable vocals and grotesque parts with piano interludes and doom-ish atmosphere. It would be better without the grotesque, but that’s probably part of the baggage.

Ray Garraty

 Burial + Blackdown — Shock Power of Love EP (Keysound Recordings)

Shock Power of Love EP by Burial

You might worry, occasionally, that Burial was becoming a victim of diminishing returns. Here, as ever, he uses a narrow palette to create tracks that few can emulate. However, even though the music has its rewards, it doesn’t clear the very high bar that his previous work has set. Thus “Dark Gethsemane” rides a 4/4 beat, angelic murmurs, vinyl crackle and a tightly ratcheted build that morphs into a sermon led by the repeated invocation “We must shock this nation with the power of love.” As his vocal samples become more explicit, the mystery of his music fades. This is all promise and no real resolution. “Space Cadet’ likewise sounds both gorgeous and minor with its soul gospel refrain “Take Me Higher” over an old-school jungle beat. At six plus minutes it would have been enough. It continues another three with an almost cartoonish second movement that lacks the subtlety that characterizes Burial’s best work.

Andrew Forell 

  Colleen — The Tunnel and the Clearing (Thrill Jockey)

The Tunnel and the Clearing by Colleen

While COVID messed with most people’s lives, it was both an endgame and an opportunity for Cécile Schott, the Frenchwoman who records under the name Colleen. She was just coming out of a series of health and personal dislocations, which resulted in her being newly healthy but alone in a new town just as the lockdown came down. Clearly, this was not a time for half measures, so she selected an entirely new instrumental set-up and settled in to make a record that reflected what she’d been through. Out went the viola da gamba and melodica that have figured prominently on her last few albums; in came a Moog synthesizer, a Yamaha organ, a tape echo and a drum machine.  

Colleen’s voice, of course, remains the same. Airy and precise, her delivery doesn’t match the gravity of the experiences her songs describe. But that sense of remove is, perhaps, a reflection of one of adversity’s lessons; if you don’t stay stuck, you can wind up somewhere quite different. Between the keyboards’ cycling melodies and the drum machine’s fizzy beats, the music on The Tunnel and the Clearing imparts a sense of motion that carries her light voice along for the ride, dropping painful sentiments and letting them fall behind.

Bill Meyer  

 Current Joys — Voyager (Secretly Canadian)

Nick Rattigan has been releasing music under the name Current Joys since 2013, and Voyager is his latest offering. It’s a dramatic and often brilliant collection of songs, bringing to mind the urgent rhythmic drive of Spoon, the dour grandeur of The Cure and the unapologetic emotional heft of Bright Eyes or early Arcade Fire. On Voyager’s standout, “American Honey,” a simple strummed backing and Rattigan’s vocal delivery are potent enough, but it’s the string section that proves devastating, cycling around for multiple punches to the gut. While more stripped-back songs such as “Big Star” and “The Spirit or the Curse” offer some respite along the way, Voyager does prove a little unwieldy. With 16 tracks clocking in at nearly an hour, the album’s execution doesn’t quite live up to its ambition. The wonky tom-tom rhythms of “Breaking the Waves” are more distracting than interesting; a serviceable cover of Rowland S. Howard’s “Shivers” feels more like an acknowledgment of influence than a striking interpretation; and the combined six minutes of the two-part instrumental title track may have worked better as shorter interludes. Nevertheless, plenty of Voyager’s tracks demonstrate Rattigan’s knack for a raw, emotive indie-rock tune.

Tim Clarke

 Ducks Ltd — Get Bleak EP (Carpark Records)

Toronto duo Ducks Ltd celebrates signing to Carpark with an expanded re-release of their 2018 debut EP Get Bleak. The pair — Tom Mcgreevy on vocals, rhythm and bass guitars and Evan Lewis on lead guitar — bonded over a shared love of 1980s indie bands. Their intricately constructed guitar interplay carries the DNA of Postcard and C86 over meaty bass lines that evoke Mighty Mighty as much as Orange Juice and McCarthy. The sprightly music belies the miserablism of the lyrics that focus on FOMO, poor decisions, screen induced isolation, the corrosive impact of gentrification and gig economies. Mcgreevy and Lewis don’t wallow, however. Their jaunty jangle is a paean to the joys of jumping about and singing along with those new favorite songs that suddenly mean everything and will stick with you long after the world’s shit slopes your shoulders.

Andrew Forell

 Field Music — Flat White Moon (Memphis Industries)

It’s easy to take Field Music for granted. Since 2005, the Brewis brothers have been making smartly composed and tightly executed guitar pop with obvious debts to The Beatles and XTC, and all their albums have fallen somewhere along the continuum from good to great (my personal favorites are 2010’s Measure and 2012’s Plumb). Album number eight, Flat White Moon, features the usual balance between Peter’s more pensive, bittersweet numbers with greater focus on piano and strings, such as “Orion From the Street” and “When You Last Heard From Linda,” and David’s funkier, more staccato cuts, such as “No Pressure” and “I’m the One Who Wants to Be With You.” Twelve songs, 40 minutes, tunes for days — what’s not to love? If you’ve yet to get acquainted with Field Music, Flat White Moon is as good an introduction as any.

Tim Clarke 

 Gabby Fluke-Mogul/Jacob Felix Heule/Kanoko Nishi-Smith — Non-Dweller (Humbler)

non-dweller by gabby fluke-mogul, Jacob Felix Heule, & Kanoko Nishi-Smith

With Non-Dweller, we have a trio of Bay-Area improvisers who certainly do not reside in one place for very long. There is an agitated freneticism about their interactions here, the performers acting like electrons seeking to release energy and break out of orbit. Each player brings a unique collection of timbres to the party with their implement of choice. Heule is a percussionist by trade yet focuses on extended techniques — mainly friction-based — as he wrests an unholy wail from the maw of his bass drum. Fluke-Mogul’s violin sways between tone generator and noise source. Nishi-Smith is a classically trained pianist who here is bowing and plucking the koto, or Japanese zither. The trio spend most of their time in sparring mode, their energies unleashed with synchrony as if in an elaborate dance. It is clear they have collaborated before. Heule and Nishi-Smith have been at it for over a decade; Fluke-Mogul joined the party in 2019. The most gorgeous moments happen when all three players are focused on friction: Heule slides across his drum, Fluke-Mogul soars with their violin and Nishi-Smith gracefully bows her koto. The energy is focused and particles collide, creating waves of tone. The players wrestle intensity into submission, and the ensuing sonorities are unmissable.

Bryon Hayes

 FMB DZ — War Zone (Fast Money Boyz \ EMPIRE)

Ever since FMB DZ got shot and moved out of Detroit, he has continued to release angry music. (He may not be more productive after the assault, but he’s certainly not less so.) War Zone is his latest effort, along with The Gift 3 and Ape Season, and DZ is back in his paranoiac mode and ready for vengeance. That’s hardly unusual in this type of music but DZ stands out because he’s a bit angrier, a bit more pressing and a bit more gifted than the next man. He doesn’t outdo himself in this tape, but rather mostly follows the blueprint of Ape Season. The standout track is “Spin Again.”

Ray Garraty

 Ian M Fraser — Berserk (Superpang)

Berserk by Ian M Fraser

Ian M Fraser is kind enough to provide details about how he created and edited Berserk, although relatively few listeners are going to really know what “nonlinear feedback systems and waveset synthesis” are, let alone “sensormonitor primitives auditory perception software”. And fewer still will be able to focus on what that might mean while Berserk is actually playing, because the output of those programs and systems is immediately, viscerally clear. If a computer were actually capable of going rabid, feral, well, berserk, the human mind might imagine it sounds something like this. Over four shorter tracks and the relatively epic 8:26 of “The Cannibal,” Fraser either coaxes or allows (or both) his tools into the equivalent of something like what someone who knew very little about both genres might imagine is like a power electronics act playing free jazz or vice versa. It is absolutely viscerally thrilling (albeit probably easier to repeat at this length of 16 minutes than, say, 50) and will do the track the next time you feel like your brain needs a good hard scrub.

Ian Mathers 

  Human Failure — Crown on the Head of a King of Mud (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Crown on the Head of a King of Mud by Human Failure

It’s tough to figure out if the band’s name is meant specifically to apply to D. Cornejo (sole member of Human Failure) or to the general field of human failure, which grows ever more capacious. Whatever the intent, Human Failure makes thoroughly unlovable music, pitched somewhere on the continuum that runs from the primitivist death metal to stenchcore to harsh noise. This reviewer is especially fond (yep, somehow that’s the only word for it) of the title track of this 10” record: “Crown on the Head of a King of Mud” sloughs and slogs along for two minutes, sort of like one of the ripest zombies in Romero’s Day of the Dead (1985), wandering about and slowly falling to pieces in Florida’s tumid heat. Just as that last bit of flesh is poised to slide from bone, the song unexpectedly breaks into a run. Where is it going? What’s the rush? No one knows. Things eventually bottom out into “Disassembling Morality,” a static-and-distortion laden electronic interlude that might squeak and spark for a bit too long — but then “Your Hope Is a Noose” shambles into the frame. That zombie seems to have found some equally noisome and truculent friends. They djent and pogo around for a while, and the song has a lot more fun than seems called for by the band name. Cornejo might be pissed off by the myriad manmade disasters and outright catastrophes that burden the earthball (he’s sure angry as heck about something…). But the record ends up being sort of successful, if deafening, grinding, growling stench is on the agenda. All things considered, why wouldn’t it be?

Jonathan Shaw

 Insub Meta Orchestra — Ten / Sync (Insub)

Ten / Sync by INSUB META ORCHESTRA

Ten / Sync was recorded in September, 2020; not exactly lockdown time, but certainly not out of the pandemic woods. It’s no small task to keep any 50-strong orchestra going, let alone one devoted to experimental music. So, if you already have one, then having it perform during a pandemic is just another challenge among many. So, the Swiss-based orchestra assembled three groups of musicians, numbering 31 in all, and assembled their contributions during post-production. While this did not provide the social experience that IMO’s gatherings usually impart to participants, an outcome that just isn’t the same seems awfully representative of the time, right? And since one Insub Meta Orchestra subspeciality is making music that sounds like it was performed by many fewer players than were actually present, this collection of sustained chords concealing tiny actions and apparently disassembled passages is actually very representative of the ensemble’s music.

Bill Meyer

Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore — Neutral Love (Astral Editions)

Neutral Love by Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore

With her own group, the Elder Ones, and in Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl, singer Amirtha Kidambi shows how far you can take a song while still giving the meanings of words and the boundaries of form their dues. But Neutral Love, like her two tapes with Lea Bertucci, explores the territory outside the tower of song. The main structures for this improvised encounter with electric guitarist Matteo Liberatore seem to be a shared agreement to exclude certain options. Song form and overt displays of chops are right out; the patient manipulation of sounds is where it’s at. Liberatore opts mostly for swelling and subsiding resonations, while Kidambi spends a lot of time finding out what’s hiding at the back of her throat, drawing it out, and then tying it into elaborate shapes. Patient and eerie, these four tracks find a place adjacent to Charalambides at their most abstract, and make it their own.

Bill Meyer

 Kosmodemonic — Liminal Light (Transylvanian Recordings)

KOSMODEMONIC - LIMINAL LIGHT by KOSMODEMONIC

NYC outfit Kosmodemonic is among the recent wave of metal bands attempting to effect an organic-sounding synthesis of numerous subgenres: a slurry of sludge, a bit of black metal, a dose of doom, and a hit or two of the lysergic. When it works — as it does on a number of tracks on the band’s long new cassette Liminal Light — it’s an exciting sound. Songs like “Moirai” and “Broken Crown” manage to couple tuneful riffs, dirty tone and a muscular bottom end in ways that feel thumping, groovy and pretty weird. You’ll want to bump your butt around even as you’re looking for something to break. But the tape is pretty long, and the further afield Kosmodemonic gets from that mid-tempo groove, the more middling (and sometimes muddled) the material sounds. “With Majesty” can’t quite find its rhythmic footing in its more technical passages, and the song’s sludgier sections feel like compromises, rather than interesting maneuvers. But the record begins and finishes with really strong songs. Both “Drown in Drone” and “Unnaming Unlearning” embrace scale, letting their big riffs rip. When “Unnaming Unlearning” slips into complex sections of blackened and distorted dissonance, the drama surges. Formal experiment and manipulation of mood fold into each other. The song gets interesting, even as it’s reaching for a peak. And then it ends, suddenly, violently. It’s pretty good. Your impulse is to flip the tape and hear it again, which is just what Kosmodemonic wants you to do. Well played, dudes.

Jonathan Shaw

 Sarah Louise — Earth Bow (Self-Released)

Earth Bow by Sarah Louise

Asheville-based songwriter Sarah Louise wants to be your personal nature interpreter. The titles of her recordings, from her debut Field Guide through Deeper Woods and Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars are like planetary signposts pointing to a more intimate relationship with our planet as a living organism. With each successive release, her music has also become more and more organic sounding, culminating with Earth Bow, in which Louise herself is arms deep in humus, communing with birds and insects. Recordings of creation feature prominently; katydids, spring peeper frogs, a creek and various birds are credited as providing additional singing, augmenting the artist’s own mellifluous voice. For a recording in which the track titles and lyrics are focused on nature and Louise’s experiences therein, there are a lot of digital elements. Her 12-string guitar is prominent in places, but synths are everywhere: in the background, bouncing around like shooting stars, and mimicking the various fauna that they accompany. Yet the earthly and the machine-made are not juxtaposed, they are blended. The vocals, which center the recordings, tie both elements together nicely. Earth Bow is a tasty concoction, in which a variety of ingredients are married in botanical bliss.

Bryon Hayes

 Le Mav — “Supersonic (Feat. Tay Iwar)” (Immaculate Taste)

Nigeria’s alté scene has been bubbling for a couple of years now on the backs of guys like Odunsi (The Engine) and Santi, and Gabriel Obi bka Le Mav is no stranger to the fray, having produced Santi’s “Sparky,” Aylø and a recurring favorite of his, singer Tay Iwar. The two have already collaborated at length (for songs off Iwar’s debut album Gemini in 2019, as well as the entirety of last year’s Gold EP), so the comfort level here is established. It shows: Iwar’s smooth-as vocals match Le Mav’s breezy piano descent and gentle rhythmic shuffle in an easygoing song that matches anything you might hear coming from Miguel, Frank Ocean or the Sun-El Musician orbit. “If it feels right, touch the sky,” Iwar suggests early on. Well, don’t mind if I do.

Patrick Masterson

 Sugar Minott — “I Remember Mama” (Emotional Rescue)

I Remember Mama by Sugar Minott

At some point after Lincoln Barrington Minott had left Kingston and his early dancehall and lovers rock legacy with Studio One and Black Roots behind for cooler climates and the old world of London, he ran into producer Steve Parr at the Wackies offices. Story goes that the two decided to start up Sound Design Studio with the intent to record and mix for ads, film and music — but scant evidence of this idea exists beyond “I Remember Mama,” released on 7” and 12” in 1985 and reissued for the first time since via Stuart Leath and his long-trusted Emotional Rescue imprint. Parr does most of the work on the recording (Andy MacDonald shines on tenor sax and Paul Uden guitar in the original credits), but it’s all about the sweetness Sugar brings to the table: With backing from two accomplished performers in their own right, Janette Sewell and Shola Phillips, Minott’s naturally relaxed delivery shines through on this. “Sound Design” is a dubbier instrumental version that retains Sewell’s and Phillips’ vocals, and Dan Tyler (half of Idjut Boys) provides an even spacier, handclap-laden 11-minute remix, but while both variants are excellent, the boogie of the original is unassailable. Look for the vinyl to hit in July.

Patrick Masterson

 Jessica Ackerley — Morning/mourning (Cacophonous Revival)

Morning/mourning by Jessica Ackerley

It makes sense that Wendy Eisenberg wrote the liner notes to Morning/mourning, since they and Jessica Ackerley are bound by a shared commitment to string-craft. Both have a deep idiomatic foundation in jazz guitar, but neither is willing to be confined by what they’ve learned. In the case of Morning/mourning, that means that patiently paced ruminations upon Derek Bailey-like harmonics sit side by side with frantic but rigorously scripted forays that sound a bit like Jim Hall might if he input the contents of his French press intravenously. This album’s nine tracks observe passings and new beginnings, since Ackerley pulled the recording together while in quarantine, shortly before leaving Manhattan for Honolulu, and titled some of them in tribute to a pair of guitar teachers who were taken by 2020. But in their attention to tone, harmony, velocity and structure, these pieces, like Eisenberg’s records, speak as much to intellect as to emotion.

Bill Meyer

 Nadja & Disrotted — Split (Roman Numeral Records)

It makes a certain kind of sense for Nadja and Disrotted to tackle a split together; although both bands traffic in a particularly foreboding strain of doom metal, they also share a weird sort of comfort. There’s a sense more of horrible things happening around you than to you, like you’re in the eye of the storm or maybe in a bathysphere plunged to crushing depths. There is a precision to the menace, a measured quality to the noise. And they get there when they get there; as Dusted’s Jonathan Shaw pointed out in his review of Disrotted’s Cryongenics, “Pace seems to be the point.” This excellent split doesn’t shy away from these commonalities while still highlighting the distinct timbres of each act, with Nadja settling into and then returning to one of their indelibly titanic bass riffs throughout the 19-minute “From the Lips of a Ghost in the Shadow of a Unicorn's Dream” and Disrotted somehow conjuring the feeling of a massive structure corroding and collapsing on the 15-minute “Pastures for the Benighted”. When the latter slams to a half, one last hit echoing away, the listener may find themselves feeling equally relieved the onslaught is over and kind of missing both sides’ pulverizing embrace.

Ian Mathers 

 Nasimiyu — POTIONS (Figureight)

P O T I O N S by nasimiYu

Nasimiyu’s songs bounce and shimmy with complex rhythms, her background as a dancer and percussionist for Kabells and Sharkmuffin coming through in the intricate interplay of handclaps, breathy beat-boxing, rattling metal implements, all manner of drums and, not least, her lithe, twining vocal lines. “Watercolor” blossoms out of a burst of choral “la”s, each note allowed to flower briefly before behind cut off with a knife-edge; these are organic sounds shaped with mechanical precision. Against this background, Nasimiyu herself enters, her voice fluttery and syncopated, a bit like Neneh Cherry. The mix is full of separate elements, the backing vocals, a synthesizer working as a bass, handclaps, Nasimiyu’s singing, but the song remains light and translucent. “Feelings,” sings Nasimiyu, “I am in my feelings,” and so, for a moment, are we. Nasimiyu is half Kenyan and half Scandinavian-American, and you can hear a bit of East Africa in the surging sweetness of choral singing on “Immigrant Hustle.” But there’s a post-modern gloss over everything, as the singer brings in sonic elements from jazz, electronica, dance, pop and afro-beat. Yet however many layers are added, the sound remains bright and clear, a bead curtain of musical sensation whose elements click faintly as they brush together, but remain essentially separate.

Jennifer Kelly

 Carlos Niño & Friends — More Energy Fields, Current (International Anthem)

More Energy Fields, Current by Carlos Niño & Friends

Multi-instrumentalist and producer Carlos Niño latest album which straddles and largely crosses the line between spiritual jazz and new age ambience features friends from both worlds including Shabaka Hutchings, Jamael Dean, Dntel and Laraaji. Niño, who plays percussion and synthesizer, edited, mixed and produced the album from recordings made in 2019 and 2020 in a variety of settings. The results are largely low-key soundscapes designed to assist meditation on the fields and current of the title. Much evocation of the natural world, chiming eastern influenced percussion and layers of acoustic and synthetic keys that are lovely but tend to lull. It is the slightly disruptive reeds that prick the ears here, Aaron Hall’s plangent tenor on “Now the background is foreground,” Devin Daniels’ alto phrasing on “Together” and Hutchings’ expressive duet with Dean on “Please, wake up.”

Andrew Forell 

 Shane Parish — Disintegrated Satellites (Bandcamp subscription)

Disintegrated Satellites EP by Shane Parish

The normally ultra-productive Shane Parish didn’t put out a lot of music in 2020, and none of what did come out was recorded that year. It turns out that he was busy giving guitar lessons via zoom and moving from North Carolina to Georgia, but we’re well into a new year and he’s back in Bandcamp. This three tune EP doesn’t declare a new direction, of which Parish has had many, so much as an integration of his interests in American folk music and far Eastern tonalities. Simultaneously familiar and alien, but above all propulsive, it serves notice that the time for reflection has passed.

Bill Meyer 

 Séketxe — “Caixão de Luxo” (Chasing Dreams)

The thing that gets your attention about Séketxe is… well, everything: how many of them there are (i.e., how you can’t really tell who’s in the group and who isn’t), how they’re all propellant, a musical bottle rocket bursting out of your speakers, confrontationally in your face on camera — and how much fun it looks like they’re having. Somewhere out there beyond the reaches of kuduro and Mystikal lie the Angolan barks and rasps of this youthful sextet, who trade verses (and a soothing harmony drizzled right across the madness at around 1:40) among one another over an Eddy Tussa sample on a beat by producer about town Smash Midas. What are they on about? My Portuguese is nonexistent, let alone my Luandan slang, but even I can tell that title translates to “luxury casket.” Anyway, it’s bonkers and if you’re looking for a jolt your morning joe doesn’t deliver anymore, Séketxe oughta do it. You’ll never catch me thanking an algorithm, but I guess it’s true the maths can serve it up right every once in a while. Séketxe is the proof.

Patrick Masterson 

 Tōth — You and Me and Everything (Northern Spy)

You And Me And Everything by Tōth

The title of Alex Toth’s solo debut, Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary, alludes to his belief in music as therapy — that there’s an alchemy in the process, yet one that can’t necessarily be depended on to pull you out of an emotional hole when that hole gets too deep. On his new album, You and Me and Everything, all of his recent personal struggles are out in the open. There’s the tale of when he was so fucked up he couldn’t play trumpet at a family funeral (“Turnaround (Cocaine Song)”); there’s leaning on songwriting as a means to process the pain of heartbreak (“Guitars are Better Than Synthesizers for Writing Through Hard Times”); and there’s his ongoing battle with anxiety (“Butterflies”). While such heavy emotional terrain could prove hard-going, Toth approaches everything with a playfulness, a lightness of touch and a gentle haze to the production. Plus, he gets a helping hand from Jenn Wasner (Wye Oak, Flock of Dimes), who lends backing vocals to standout “Daffadowndilly,” which taps into the woozy gorgeousness of prime Robert Wyatt.

Tim Clarke 

 Mara Winter — Rise, follow (Discreet Editions)

Rise, follow by Mara Winter

For people with busy performance schedules, 2020 posed a problem; how do you stay busy and creative when you can’t do what you usually do? Mara Winter, an American-born, Swiss-based flute player who specializes in Renaissance-era repertoire and instruments, used it to forge a new creative identity. In partnership with experimental composer and multi-instrumentalist Clara de Asís, she began exploring the commonalities between early, composed music and contemporary approaches and developed a platform to disseminate documents of that research into the world. Rise, follow, the inaugural release of Discreet Editions, is an hour-long piece for two Renaissance-style bass flutes played by Winter and Johanna Bartz. The two musicians played long, overlapping tones with contrast attacks, pushing on until they grew so tired from hefting those woodwinds that they just couldn’t play anymore. Effectively the performance unit is a trio, since the two musicians had to accommodate or collaborate with the reverberant acoustics of Basel’s Kartäuserkirche. The church’s echo threw sounds back at the player, turning pure tones into blurred timbres. While the instrumentation is antique, the ideas about sound combination and endurance have more to do with Morton Feldman, Phill Niblock and Aíne O’Dwyer. The result is music that is simultaneously meditative and as heavy as a bench-pressing competition.

Bill Meyer

 Wurld Series — What’s Growing (Melted Ice Cream)

What's Growing by Wurld Series

Some reviewers of What’s Growing, the second album by New Zealand’s Wurld Series, have managed to avoid making Pavement comparisons, but it’s hard to fathom their restraint. Brief opener “Harvester” feels like you’re being dropped mid-solo into a random Wowee Zowee track; the guitar tone on lead single “Nap Gate,” on the other hand, sounds like it's nicked straight from Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. And while singer/guitarist Luke Towart doesn’t attempt to match Malkmus’ flamboyance in the vocal delivery department, their voices and wry lyrical observations bear a distinct resemblance to one another. “Caught beneath a dull blade / What a mess that would make” he sings on “Distant Business” before the song reaches its finale where guitar solos blast off from atop other guitar solos in an array of complementary textures. But besides being a ridiculously fun guitar pop record, What’s Growing is also threaded through with a British psych folk vibe replete with Mellotron flute — and the two styles blend seamlessly together thanks to Towart’s partner in crime, producer/drummer Brian Feary (Salad Boys, Dance Asthmatics). So, whether you're looking for a great summer indie rock record or you’ve ever wondered what the Fab Five from Stockton might’ve sounded like if they’d stuck to short songs and had more flutes, this one’s for you.

Chris Liberato

#dust #dusted magazine #amulets #jennifer kelly #astute palate #axis sova #bill meyer #mattie barbier #beneath #patrick masterson #black spirit #ray garraty #burial #blackdown #andrew forell #clandestine blaze #colleen #current joys #tim clarke #ducks ltd. #field music #gabby fluke-mogul #jacob felix heule #kanoko nishi-clark #fmb dz #ian m fraser #ian mathers #human failure #jonathan shaw #insub meta orchestra

[joy1579]

Mc spoils the RFA + saeran with their perfect bath

guys i love baths. bath bombs, I got a job at bath and body works because i love their products and lush doesn't have a store near me. baths are beautiful wonderful indulgent moments of relaxation and should be treated as sacred and holy times. so here we have MC giving the RFA their perfect bath.

also my master list grows with every new post so be sure to keep an eye on it.

Jumin

-        He has been so stressed its affecting his sleep

-        So tonight your bound and determined to get him to relax

-        He doesn’t usually take baths he’s a shower guy

-        His bathtub is HUGE though (mostly because he knows you love baths)

-        The water is so hot his skin is a little red but not so hot that hit hurts

-        Hot water helps relax the muscles you point out

-        you use a bath bomb that colors the water a deep purple with eco safe silver glitter

-        it’s scented with cedar wood and lavender oil

-        you even dimmed the lights and played cello music to create the optimal relaxation

-        he starts soaking as you pour both of you some wine

-        he asks you to join him saying that it would be “terribly boring” without you

-        you chuckle and slip in with him leaning against his chest

-        he tells you about a new cat business

-        you tell him about teaching Elizabeth the 3rd to do the obstacle course you and he set up

-        you mention that the water looks like the starry night sky and move to kiss him

-        he smiles and catches your chin in his hand to deepen the kiss

-        he thinks he will indulge in baths more often if you will be joining him like this

Yoosung

-        he knows that girls like baths but he’s never really enjoyed them

-        he gets antsy if he sits still too long and shows just seem easier

-        so you decide to show him the light

-        the bathtub at his place isn’t big but you can manage since there isn’t an easy solution

-        the water is another problem it doesn’t get hot enough to be relaxing and certainly not hot enough to stay relaxing through the duration of the soak

-        so you fill up what you can from the tap and add boiling water to bring the overall temp up

-        you have to be really carful to not get it too hot

-        you use a light blue bath bomb with gold glitter its shaped like a shooting start and has a tiny toy inside

-        you do not tell him about the toy the toy is yours

-        its smells like freesia and honey, fresh and lightly sweet

-        you play the LOLOL equivalent of the LOZ great fairy fountain music

-        he grabs your hand as you go to give him privacy and won’t meet your eyes when he asks you to join him

-        you share a bottle of cold cherry flavored sparkling water

-        he tells you about the upcoming LOLOL event and you laugh at his animated hand guesturse splashing around

-        you give him a bubble beard and when you kiss him you pull away with half the bubbles on your own face

-        as great as the bath itself was his favorite part is towel drying your hair because of how messy and super fluffy soft it becomes

Saeyoung

-        broski neglects himself when work gets bad

-        he can get nasty

-        you draw him a bath with the hottest water possible

-        you use a bright red bath bomb with black and gold glitter

-        it smells exactly like fruit loops

-        you also add several rubber duckies (one looks like him and one looks like you)

-        you were not planning to join him really

-        but he splashes you and I mean you where wet already so when in roam

-        you too may or may not play act with the rubber ducky versions of you

-        you pour Dr. pepper into those plastic fake champagne flutes and toast to honey buddah chips

-        you have to ban honey buddah chips from the bath

-        you share memes on each other’s phones

-        and play soft 8-bit music as background noise

-        you wash his hair and hum a lullaby

-        he tries not to get sentimental about a childhood he never had

-        but you can tell he’s getting a bit sad so you squish his face and say “my name is Saeyoung and I deserve love” you have him repeat after you while his face is squished until his laughing again

-        you wrap his hair in a towel hat then laugh when he forgets and his hair dries all crazy

-        bath time becomes a really happy routine for you too

Zen

-        he is familiar with baths they are good for your skin every once in a while

-        he’s read all about the benefits, the pros and cons, what to add what to steer clear of

-        he insists warm not hot water “zen hot water feels the best” “it can irritate our skin jagi!”

-        you concede because he’s basically a human furnace anyway

-        you choose a dye and glitter free bath bomb

-        but it does have seaweed extract, coconut oil, and Epsom salt

-        it smells like rose, lemongrass, and mahogany

-        he puts his hair in a bun to wash separately (what’s good for skin isn’t always good for hair)

-        you both do face masks during the soak and there’s something you really enjoy about seeing him in a face mask

-        it’s one of the few times he looks genuinely silly

-        you talk about the new part he just got and he admits he’s nervous

-        “it’s a romance Jagi what if I can’t act it properly because I’m too busy thinking about you?”

-        he either drinks bear or lemon cucumber water depending on if he has an audition tomorrow

-        if he drinks beer he shares the can with you since he’s trying to cut back for you

-        if it’s the lemon cucumber water absolutely runs the bottom of the ice cold glass against your neck to see you shiver and shudder

-        but then you wiggle against him and he’s starting to have a hard time controlling the beast

Jaehee

-        this girl needs a tropical vacation bad

-        but since you don’t have the money or time you decide a staycation will do

-        bath water is hot enough to steam but you give it time to cool a bit before she gets in

-        you use and orange, yellow bath bomb with gold glitter that looks like the sunrise

-        it smells like guava and mandarin to give it a tropical feel

-        you play ocean sounds and quiet ukulele music

-        you make chamomile and lemongrass ice tea sweetened with honey

-        she chats idly about all the benefits of such a drink and debates whether to add it to the café menu or not

-        you can’t help but chuckle at her workaholic nature as you turn to kiss the tip of her nose

-        you even move a laptop with its webcam covered because everything with the RFA hacker has made y’all hyper aware of the vulnerability of technology

-        to the bathroom counter so you can watch Zen DVD’s while you relax

-        afterwards you paint her nails and discuss new cakes for the café

-        she’ll admit it’s no trip to Hawaii but it was very relaxing

Saeran

-        boy refuses to admit he needs some serious TLC

-        but you coax him in if you say you want to share a bath with him

-        you bring fresh flowers into the bathroom and make sure everything is perfect

-        you use a deep red bath bomb with black glitter

-        its shaped like a skull and he enjoys watching it fizz and bubble before you two get in

-        it smells like a bouquet of gardenias, roses, and lilies

-        you play nature sounds with gentle harp music

-        you make sweet hibiscus tea to share with him

-        he tells you about his latest therapy appointment and you ask him idle questions

-        “did you end up planting all the tulips?”

-        “maybe we should build a bird house! Or install a flower box on the window sill!”

-        “are you gonna dye your hair again? Or let it grow naturally?”

-        A lot of your conversations used to be one sided since he was so unused to make his own decisions

-        So conversations where you gently guide him to find his own ideas are helpful

-        Especially in safe and relaxing environment like this.

-        “I think I’d like to keep it bleached until it grows out” he says cautiously

-        “I think when it grows out on its own it’ll feel like the last of mint eye being washed away, and I hope I’ll be better by then. I hope you’ll stay with me until then.”

-        “always and forever” you assure him kissing his cheek and giggling at his light blush

#mysme #mystic messenger #mm #jumin #jumin han #yoosung #yoosung kim #saeyoung #luciel #707 #seven #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee #jaehee kang #saeran #ray #jumin x mc #yoosung x mc #saeyoung x mc #zen x mc #jaehee x mc #saeran x mc

[peakyblinderswhore]

Tommy with a female lover who draws? I'm currently working on a sketch and it's been bugging me (the shape of the person) so if it could involve his s/o being frustrated at her artwork and him comforting her that would be lovely- Also I love your writing!!

A/N: Hey anon, I’m super sorry for the massive delay. I hope you figured out your drawing. I also hope you’re safe.

W/C: 1.3k

Running her hand along with the paper, she grips the pencil as she creates a smooth, curved line. Amelia had already sketched out the basic measurements for the body she was going to draw and was going over some of the lines that she was confident within a harder pencil. Some of the measurements had been slightly off but she knew that she’d be able to fix them.

Switching to a softer pencil, she outlines where she wants the body to start and end where she wants curves and definition to parts of the body. The limbs were slowly coming to life and the face was lightly sketched but every time she came back to the overall shape, something was wrong.

“Oh for goodness sake!” Amelia exclaims.

Fighting the urge to throw the pencil across the room, she puts it back down on her drafting table.

Amelia wasn’t rich, merely had friends in high places… kind of.

Tommy had gotten it for Amelia. She had shown a desire towards owning one and how much easier it would make her drawing for clients. To Amelia’s surprise, he had been paying attention that day and he had gifted it to her for her birthday.

It was one of the first signs made obvious to Amelia of his desire for her. He hadn’t realised it much either but when he gave it to her, hands over her eyes as he led her into her own living room, and he saw her face, he realised that this may be a confession of his adoration towards her.

“Amelia, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, Tommy,” she replies as he walks into the room, “what isn’t? This request is driving me up my fuckin’ walls.”

Thomas chuckles lightly at her frustration, “It’ll become something gorgeous soon, they always do.”

Amelia sighs, “I know,” she mutters, “but no one ever gives me a second look-in after they ask if I can draw this and that or those — or whatever other rubbish they ask for!”

Pushing herself off of her chair she stands with her hand in her hair, bunching it until it knots out of frustration as she stares at the floor, contemplating all the moments in her life leading up until this current one.

“Hey,” Tommy says, walking over, Amelia notices the glint of his pocket watch — a new pocket watch.

“When did you get that?” she asks, interested in where he got the money for it.

Tommy smiles, a rare sight for most, “Well, since Kimber is no more, we are bringing in his share of the money, for us.”

“Is that how you…” she trailed off, motioning her head towards the drafting desk.

“Mhm.”

Amelia sighs, her raven-like hair falling loosely past her shoulders, “I know he was a bastard of a man but if I had taken Kimber up on one of his ghastly drawing suggestions I probably would’ve hit it big.”

She lifts her head to look at Tommy’s face, he was studying you as you did him, Amelia smiled a crooked smile, feeling weak from her current hiccup in her art.

Tommy holds an arm out, “C'mere.”

Amelia trudges towards him, “hm?”

She rests her head on his chest, breathing in his cologne and calming her nerves, focusing on only him to steady herself.

“Amelia, you are the most talented person I have ever met and probably ever will meet in this dark and illegal world I’ve created for myself but you know what? You’ve always been the light at the end of the tunnel for me; whatever you do, I will support.”

His chin rests on your head, he wasn’t tall but she wasn’t either, and rests a hand on the back of her head, holding her close to his heart.

“Would you like me to get you something?” he asks, gesturing to her drafting table, “More paper, pencils, graphite?”

“No, Tommy, you’ve done far too much for me over the years, I only wish I could repay you, buy you something nice every once in a while; spend a day with you when I’m not drawing or in the studio and you’re not working, you know?”

Tommy reaches into his trouser pocket and pulls out a few pound notes rolled up, “you can borrow some money if you like, find something for yourself along the way,” he offers.

“No, I just want to do it out of my own pocket, it makes me feel accomplished, even if just a little.”

He nods and puts the money away.

Amelia wraps her arms around his torso and takes a deep breath, “you’re always good to me, Tommy, don’t ever stop; you make me feel so special.”

Tommy plays with her hair and mumbles, “What did I ever do to deserve you, eh?”

Amelia smiles and nestles her head into the crook of his neck and breathes in his cologne, calming herself down.

Tommy glances down at Amelia’s angelic features and thinks to himself, you know, sometimes, it’s the little details that take up the most room in your heart.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he says.

Amelia lifts her head to glance at Tommy and blushes and when his face doesn’t waver she giggles at him, “Thank you… Thomas.”

He brings his hand up to her face; she closes her eyes and leans into his hand as he rests the palm of his hand on her cheek. He caresses her face with his thumb and drinks in her beauty.

Her long lashes that framed her eyes and the natural glow that she radiated always made him want to kiss her eyelids softly and so he did.

When he had finished, Amelia opened her eyes and gazed up at Tommy. She stood on her tiptoes, held his face in her hands and kissed his lips lightly, fluttering her eyes closed.

Against his lips, she whispers, “You are every hope I had in human form.”

“You are much better than any wish I could have ever made,” he says and kisses her back. As he pulls away he reminds her of her drawing by nodding towards it.

“Honey and lemon tea?” she asks, he merely nods and places the kettle over the stove.

Amelia sits down in front of her drawing, closes her eyes and thinks about everything that was annoying her in the first place before scrunching her nose up and mentally filing these things into a box at the back of her mind. She takes a deep breath and glances down at her drawing and clears her space around her.

Hearing the kettle steaming in the kitchen, she patiently waits for Tommy to pour some honey and squeeze a little lemon into her tea before tackling her drawing again.

Amelia smiles, now calm and with the hot cup of tea that Tommy had poured for her and was focusing on her own impossible task at hand.

Keeping her cool, she draws lines and shapes and body forms until she thinks she has found the one she likes the most. Smiling at her own personal achievement she begins to add tone and shading to her drawing, outlining features she liked the most and managed to create a drawing she was proud of.

“I told you that you know how to fix it all,” Tommy says, walking over and wrapping his arms around her from behind.

“Only because of you, my love, only because of you…” she mumbles as she leans back into Tommy’s embrace, finally content.

#peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #littlemissshelbyreplies #littlemissshelby #birmingham #artist #1920s #romance #oneshot #one day at a time #love poem #milk and honey

[2p-hetalia-hanons]

Most to least violent ✨

Luciano

Kuro

Oliver

Allen

Matthieu

Siegfried

Francois

Zao

Viktor

Why?

Luciano

Overall mafias and yakuza are kinda at the same tier, but Luciano would be more violent as a person because of his personality. He is a prideful person, hence he is more easily offended. There’s actually an Italian-American mobster who told a guy to straight up kill a random person on the street, as a test to work for them (Roy DeMeo to Richard Kuklinski), but this is in the 1950’s so it would probably take a different light in the 2000s.

Luciano would have principals (not the not killing women or children one tho), as in if he says he will do something, he would do it (or making it worse).

Kuro

Kuro although he is a yakuza, he would act less carelessly. Not that Luciano is a careless person, but Kuro would definitely think through all of his actions (Luciano would mostly do this, but sometimes when he gets infuriated, he would use his emotions more).

Also, Kuro seems to be the type to want to finish business rather quickly (for efficiency reasons), meanwhile Luciano would be the type to prolong it because he tends to enjoy tormenting people (also to gain fear).

Yakuzas generally have certain powers. So, if Kuro did act carelessly (We assume he does but only sometimes), he wouldn’t be as easily apprehended. If y’all know the murder of Junko Furuta, after doing this heinous crime, the perpetrators got easier sentence due to them being underage. But admin Parfaits also read that it’s because there’s affiliations with yakuza (although this is uh highly inconspicuous because now Parfaits couldn’t find the link for this, but this is because Parfaits read this a few years ago and not in a web but a forum).

Also we think Luciano and Kuro set a certain image in their respective groups, as in Kuro wants to be feared but also respected (more leaning to be respected that’s not just made due to fear). Meanwhile, Luciano would rather gain respect through violence and rumors. Generally mafias and yakuzas would have certain powers and connections, which would make it easier for them to commit violence.

Oliver

Oliver is a normal serial killer (well, normal is a bit of a stretch here). He would have less freedom to do as he pleases.

Also we decided that he would kill serial killers haha, or murderers (bad people in generals (WELL people he deems as a bad person). In our head canon, he is an ENFJ (MBTI check it out). ENFJs tend to want to feel somewhat righteous, so he’d try other ways before resorting to violence (This is based on an ENFJ an admin knows irl btw).

Because he is a normal (again a stretch) serial killer here, he wouldn’t have as much power and connections as much Luciano and Kuro would overall have).

Oliver would also build a certain portrayal of himself as a kind and lawful person (somewhat shady though). Plus

Oliver would only kill certain people, so not just some random person passing by (Luciano and Kuro have more dubious morals lmao). What Oliver had done (as in harvesting organs), would have been done by Luciano and Kuro, but not vice versa.

Allen

Allen is generally a violent person, but we don’t portray him as a bad boy. He is rather soft towards the people that he cares about.

We see him as the type of person that would drop the fight if his steam is off y’know (unless that person says something like “you coward,” or smth and makes him angry again lmao).

Due to his easily offended nature, and brawn over brains nature, he’d be an overall violent person, who would start fights (which is why he is number 4).

Also he is a loan shark, they tend to resort to violence to get the money back. Which makes him the type of person to be easily angered if people are late in paying despite their reasons.

Matthieu

Matt kills people that he’s ordered to, and some people that wander off to his area. Since he lives deep in the forest, we don’t think he’ll help people go out again haha.

He’s not the type of person that will actively pursue some random person or start a fight (but he will finish it).

Matt seems to be the person who would finish his job quickly, since his objective is payment and not violence for “fun.”

Plus if someone offered him a sum of money to interrogate someone, we think he would most likely decline it. Because it’s too much of a hassle for him. We think he would be alright not getting a big sum of cash from that kinda job, because he knows he has other ways to do so that’s not much of a hassle

Siegfried

Siegfried is above François because your man here is in a gang and not a conman.

Most likely low tier but not that low, so mid? Because he seems to be the type to actively avoid conflict, although that doesn’t mean he won’t execute his job well.

He probably follows orders really well, but due to his more of a passive attitude, he is most likely just an overall unambitious person lmao.

We don’t think his motivation would be for violence, but more to money? He seems to be the type of guy to want money to have fun lmao, so he would try to finish the job quickly and go do shit he actually thinks is fun.

Also he seems to be the type that avoids fights, especially with people he knows since he feels that it’s kinda stupid and also awkward?? so he just avoids it entirely lmao.

François

François is pretty low because he is a con man lmao, of course con man could be violent too.

But he doesn’t seem to be the type to actively do murder because he thinks that it would be an inconvenience. Not that he couldn’t do it, We’re sure he could and would if he had to, also if he is in a pissy enough mood but not to his clients or general people he deals with.

Because he doesn’t want to catch the attention of certain people, plus he needs to maintain a certain image to con someone.

He’d be good in returning back words though, but in a way where he will end up looking good and the other one looks bad. Although this will be to someone who he knows isn’t important.

Zao

Zao is just before Viktor because he isn’t the type of person to harm someone directly. He can kill, but he won’t.

If he does kill someone, it would be indirectly (sending some hit-man).

Zao could kill someone personally, but that is if he is put on the spot. His personality isn’t like Luciano, he would not kill for fun (he probably winces at the sight of blood).

We don’t think he would actually have a certain image of himself, he would just act casually (like how he is normally).

But, he does his business as a drug dealer well.

If someone doesn’t pay, he would send someone to finish that person, albeit he would not witness it.

Also he does drugs, but not stimulant. Zao knows the effect of the drugs well, so he would most likely only do Opium, a depressant drug (He only does it periodically because he tries to not be dependent, he doesn’t take it in large doses).

Viktor

Viktor would be the lowest because he is a lawful person, who prides himself above animalistic violence.

So if he does resort to violence (unlikely), he would make other people do that instead.

IF he commits a crime, it would be something that he thinks that he has “returned for” before, as in “I’ve done so much, I deserve this,” type of crime, to feel justification lmao.

But since he is a lawful person, who doesn’t want his reputation to be tarnished, he probably wouldn’t do any crime.

He just straight up has 0 morals as a lawyer (he thinks he is just doing his legal work), or if he does crime probably something that he thinks isn’t /that/ horrible lmao.

#hetalia #2p Hetalia #2p hetalia headcanons #2p england #2p canada #2p japan #2p italy #2p north italy #2p german #2p russia #2p france #2p america #2p china

[panevanbuckley]

so I fell down the team leckie ot4 hole and had no choice but to make a load of headcanons for them...enjoy! (warning: hella long post)

First to confess their feelings:

they're all emotionally stunted idiots so it actually takes a while for them to have 'the talk'. when they do, as they're lounging around limbs tangled and talking shit at each other, it's Hoosier who brings it up (surprising them all).

he doesn't outright call it what it is but he does ask what they're all doing. the others try to fake innocence (well...Chuckler isn't faking) until Hoosier smacks them each upside the head.

Leckie, naturally, has a whole poetic speech about love and connections which Runner shuts down by pulling him down into a kiss from where he's laying on Leckie's lap. they don't really question whatever it is between them from then on, they just all go with the flow.

First to apologize after a fight:

Chuckler will not let anybody go to bed angry so, yes, he forces them all to apologise to each other before they sleep (even if it means holding Hoosier and Leckie hostage in a tent glaring at each other after Hoosier made a fleeting comment about Leckie's overdramatics until they crack and kiss and make up).

Runner will pretend to not want to apologise but he's first after Chuckler, and he's a clingy apologiser; he'll drape himself over the others and mutter how sorry he is until they shove him away.

First to wake up:

Leckie and Chuckler, though Chuckler actually gets out of bed first whereas Leckie will bury his face back into the pillow for at least another ten minutes.

Hoosier can sleep through almost anything, and almost always has a blanket attached to his person. when they return home, it's not uncommon for him to fall asleep squished between his boyfriends as they talk quietly over the radio/television.

First to fall asleep:

Hoosier is the first asleep, as expected, but Runner isn't far behind. it probably helps that Runner has a guilty pleasure in snuggling close to Hoosier as he drifts off so he ends up wrapped in the sleeping man's arms listening to his steady breaths.

Chuckler will join them soon after, tucking himself behind Runner and dropping an arm over the two smaller men.

Leckie won't sleep until late, crawling into bed after a long writing session, his eyes drooping as he slides under the covers and presses himself close to Hoosier. he pretends not to be a cuddler but every night, without fail, he smiles to himself as he nuzzles his nose into Hoosier's hair and inhales his apple shampoo.

The affectionate one:

Runner is huge on physical affection. like, I mean huge; he'll always be leaning on someone, grabbing for their hand, sleeping curled up against them, draped over them, you name it. it makes him feel safe, knowing he's not alone and is surrounded by others that care for him (it's probably a side effect of war but he refuses to see someone about it).

the others have grown used to it now, to the point where they often initiate contact with him before he can. it's not hard to notice when he feels nervous; his fingers tap or his leg will bounce. Chuckler has a habit of pulling him onto his lap, Hoosier tends to sling a comforting arm around his shoulders and Leckie just leans into him and entwines their legs.

surprisingly (or perhaps not) Leckie is also very affectionate. this isn't always shown physically, although he is pretty big on hugs. Leckie tends to be the one that writes cute poems and notes that he leaves scattered in random places for the others to see, which they make fun of but all secretly find adorable.

The overprotective one:

Chuckler, through and through. one of them is ill? he's there. someone's saying shit about one of his boys? not on his watch. nightmares or just overall anxiety? he gives the best mama hugs.

Hoosier is also down to throw fists (or hard-hitting insults) at anybody that gives them a strange look. he fought in a goddamn war, he's not letting some nosey old lady try to tell him what's wrong and right. especially not when he gets to wake up to three smiling men that he now understands love him to no end. what could ever be wrong about that?

The money savvy one:

when they return home, Leckie is the one who takes on the role of the money keeper; he organises their wages and bills and expenses into a nice little book to keep track of them.

Hoosier is pretty good at saving money up. he just tucks random coins away when he finds them and it adds up quickly so, if one of the others (usually Runner) needs to borrow money for something, they'll go to him first.

The more charismatic (popular) one:

they're all pretty charismatic (well, maybe not Hoosier most days because he just doesn't do people). Runner is the out-going type, he'll strike up conversation with just about anyone and can charm them within minutes.

Chuckler is friendly beyond belief and will smile at almost anyone, he has this magnetic pull to people. Leckie is the schmoozer, he wins people over with his educated drawl, fancy words and that damn crooked smile.

The better caregiver when the other is sick:

Chuckler, no doubt about it! Chuckler goes all out, of course, with blankets and hot drinks and regularly checking in on them. he is, quite literally, the mom of the group and he takes that role very seriously.

Leckie will make sure they're comfortable, grab them some blankets and pillows and read something to them as he strokes his fingers through their sweat-matted hair. when they fall asleep, he undoubtedly presses a soft kiss to their forehead and then settles in nearby so he can keep an eye on them.

Hoosier worries endlessly, if he's in the room with them, you can guarantee he'll spend most of his time watching over them and looking out for any change in their behaviour or temperature. he also tends to crack light hearted jokes just to see the unfortunate guy smile, and will make sure there's a pot of steaming coffee waiting for when they wake up from a mid-day nap (he might even gently sing them to sleep).

Runner never quite knows what to do; he's the one with the worst immune system so he's usually the one being looked after. he tries to make sure they're comfortable, lying with them (even if it means he'll probably get ill too) and making up elaborate stories to keep them entertained. what he lacks in knowledge of nursing people back to health, he makes up for in his ability to absolutely smother either one of his boyfriends with love and adoration - no matter how gross they are in the moment.

Does the cooking:

Chuckler can cook pretty well, flavour-wise. Runner is the one watching over his shoulder criticising his choices and making sure he doesn't set fire to the place.

Leckie is a hopeless cook and Hoosier makes sure to remind him of this constantly. he once tried to cook them all a lovely meal on Valentine's Day but it didn't go well...at all.

Hoosier loves to experiment with flavours and spices. he and Chuckler tend to spend hours in the kitchen cooking up something absolutely amazing (like their infamous sticky bbq chicken).

Does the housework:

they all chip in to do their bit. that doesn't mean there aren't complaints and passive-aggressive reminders to "get your ass of the damn couch and pull your weight around here".

Does most of the speaking:

Chuckler and Leckie, usually. Runner will chime in now and then, he's a charmer and will win anybody over with a flash of his smile and his creative way with words. Chuckler and Leckie are more the 'parents' of the group, they're civilised and mature.

Hoosier won't speak to anyone unless he absolutely has to or if he has a witty remark to drop in unexpectedly.

Designated driver:

Hoosier is a great driver but he goes too fast for the others' liking. Leckie is okay, but he can be annnoying driver; he dictates the music and tells everyone to shut up when they get too rowdy.

Runner is the best driver of them all, if they're out drinking he'll be the designated driver of the night).

Keeps more secrets in the relationship:

none of them really keep massive secrets from each other; they're so close and trust each other completely (as well as huge gossips).

Hoosier can be hard to read a lot of the time, if he's feeling out-of-sorts he's not the type to express this to anybody. Leckie can be the same, but since returning home he's learning that opening up about his insecurities in the relationship can be much more beneficial for everybody.

Chuckler doesn't have the ability to keep a secret for his life, he's a total gossip and basically just an adorable puppy. if he knows something he thinks will make his boyfriends smile he'll tell them, even if he was told to keep it to himself - the only exception is if it'd hurt the person who told him.

Runner is a great liar, if he wanted to keep a secret he definitely could. luckily for the others, he's never really felt inclined to not tell them things

Sensitive to subtle changes in their partners:

being an observer, Hoosier is usually the first to notice a change in one of the others' behaviour. whether that be them just being quieter than usual or more short-tempered.

Chuckler is good at reading people too and can usually tell someone isn't feeling 100% before the person even knows themselves.

Leckie tends to get wrapped up in his own head a lot of the time and can be completely oblivious to an argument taking place between the others until it's too late and he's made a dumb comment that kicks the whole thing off again.

in all fairness, they're all pretty in-tune with each other by the end of the war and can usually tell what's wrong eventually and know exactly what to do/say to help them.

they work well together. they trust each other wholeheartedly. they love each other.

#the pacific #team leckie ot4 #headcanons #this is so long ahh #pls let me know your thoughts and feel free to add more!! #robert leckie #bill hoosier smith #runner conley #chuckler juergens

[akvtsuki-ari]

Drive Safe

Warnings: Angst, General Spoilers, Mentions of Drug Addiction (really minor but thought I’d include the warning) 

Length: 3.9k (holy shiiiiit) 

Authors Note: i’m unbelievably excted to be back officially. It’s been so long so I really wanted to come back with a bang and honestly I really like the concept for this fic and im just so so so happy to be writing again. this was heavily inspired by Drive Safe by Rich Brian, so I reccomend giving that a listen while you read. i love spencer reid sm and i also love all of you and i hope you enjoy (also italiscized text is a flasback/memory!!) 

Summary: Spencer loves you but your safety comes before him, even if it’s hard

Song

Spencer Reid knew a lot about memories, more than he wanted to know about them for the most part. 

He knew that memories began to form at birth, and that the extent of a memory that has important attachments to your personal life can be exaggerated in the mind. He knows that age doesn’t deteriorate memory, more-so that the lack of mental stimulation over time can degrade your brains power - any muscle will work better with consistent exercise. He also knows that sleep can revitalize and restore long-term memories and establish it better overall, according to varying scientific studies on the effects of sleep on the body. 

None of that matters really. That is what Spencer knew about memories, in a lot of ways but it wasn’t the full picture. 

Spencer also knows that memories make him feel fragile. Old memories with Maeve and their phone calls, drug-related memories that always end with emotions he can’t work himself out of, memories from when Emily was dead and he felt himself crumbling away. Memories were heavy things. Cloudy things . Everything that may have had sunlight was surrounded by dark clouds, and Spencer was simply waiting for the rain to come. 

Still, he was used to it. These feelings, as detrimental as they used to be, are managed easier. He was older now, less fragile - even if it hurts, it won’t do him any good to just let it happen. Instead of reminiscing, he works or studies or reads and hopes that the memories will wash out from his head. A storm drain of  old wounds, washed by his own attempt to just keep pushing. His attempt to have sanity even when every odd works against him. That's what made him, him. 

These days, most days - he finds himself reminiscing much more often. Always thoughts of you, clouding his mind and shifting his focus for the seconds he’d have time. It was always you, your silhouette hung on his door frame. The sound of your voice when you laughed or the way you listened to music like it was the only thing you ever cared to know. Everytime the two of you saw each other, he finds himself holding onto those memories like he was holding on to you. So tightly he held them close to him, much closer than he should allow.

 Tears welled in his eyes when he spoke. They were back again, the addiction urged and he wasn’t sure he could be alone, so here he was in your kitchen while the two of you sat across from each other - the table making both of you oceans away. The lights hung over your head like fluorescent stars from a negligible, concrete sky. Your knees were up to your chest, as Spencer looked down at the table wordlessly. Your tablecloth had flowers on them - violets that were faded from all the movement. It was an old tablecloth, he remembered - you loved it because it was so pretty to you and reminded you of your first apartment. Your eyes were fond when you looked at it, comforted by it even after all this time.

“It’s okay to cry,” your voice was so steady. You were just commenting, stating what you felt was obvious. 

And he trusts you, so he does cry. He just cries, and lets you see him - comforted by the way you look at him. You never pity him, or make him feel stupid or anything else. You just watch him cry, cry himself to puffy, swollen eyes. You reach your hand out, and he grabs it and just keeps crying. 

Memories that he finds himself caring for the most are odd. Maybe to the world that one feels full of sorrow, but it isn’t. Instead, he feels the comfort of your hands - dainty in comparison to his. Instead he remembers the smell of your house, always candles of the ocean-breeze. Instead he finds himself remembering you, the way you move and communicate, how you say so much without uttering one word. Those memories hold him tightly when he sleeps on plane rides - when that urge to cry hits him in his throat, he thinks of you. Those memories of you, and the sound of your voice. He sleeps, as peacefully as he can. Sometimes, he even smiles. 

 You were cooking to music. You always did that and it didn’t matter about Spencer, you always made enough for two. Just incase he was there, you could be together but if he wasn’t you could have left overs for the next day and it worked out in both of your favors. That was the lovely part of it. 

When Spencer came to your apartment, and saw you cooking in the kitchen, hips swaying to music while the steam poured on your part - he felt the way his heart started beating and smiled. It was a bittersweet smile, one that was full of those terrible reminders but he couldn’t help it. You acknowledge him by throwing your wooden spoon up in the air, and waving hello. Spencer laughs, a belly laugh that makes his whole chest feel light. He feels like he’s flying when he’s next to you. 

“The menu for tonight is lasagna, salad, and bread. Set the table for me will you, boy genius?,” That nickname would normally make him roll his eyes but never from you. When you did it, he smiled big and bright. It made him feel warm, a childish kind he never thought he could feel. Every time you spoke you made him feel something new

Spencer spent a lot of time with you, admittedly. Those nights were commonplace, but that one sticks out because your lasagna is really good. You make the tomato sauce in a special way that would give Rossi a run for his money. 

It was also the first time Spencer had felt how much you made him happy. How every memory of you was so full of something that left him wordless - all your careful actions and quick-witted observations. You were so much more than you seemed to be, so much smarter and wiser and every time he saw you, you were just a little bit more beautiful and Spencer wanted to surround himself in it. To be surrounded by you didn’t sound unpleasant at all, the opposite of that. That sounded so lovely. 

Those memories with you were always beautiful. Always unexpectedly profound to him simply because of who you were. 

Maybe thats where the fear came  from anyways. That cold feeling he got when you touched him, but he knew better. The tighter he held on, the harder it would be to let go. He was held on already but he couldn’t handle letting go - not when you were so much of his sanity. Not if your honest eyes, and honest love kept every case fresh. You were so inevitable 

// “Close your eyes, yeah?,” you were excited when you spoke. Spencer laughed and nodded, and did as told. You held his face in your hands and squished, squealing in excitement. Spencer hands ghost over his cheeks when he hears you run off. His face is warm. Your hands were too. 

“Hold your hands out okay? Like flat,” you explain carefully. He cracks his knuckles, causing a laugh to erupt from your throat. He smiles, happy to make you laugh and holds his hands, just for you. 

“Happy Birthday, boy genius,” you say softly. When he opens his eyes, the lights are turned off and there's a dome with a white button on it. Spencer looks at it confused for a second and by nature presses the button. 

Suddenly lights erupt in the room, covered in stars. Hundreds of stars and crescent moons fill the ceiling and wall. The light is on your face as you smile ear to ear. Spencer is smiling too.

“I remembered when you got drunk at Garcias Halloween party,  that you always wanted one of these as a kid and then you told me a bunch of cool stuff about space for a while then fell asleep. Plus we always talk about going stargazing sometime, so it felt right. I hope you like it,” you say shyly. Spencer looks at you, noticing how close you are. The only thing between the two of you was the projector, so he places it carefully on the floor and says thank you - but his eyes are unfocused. You were sad for a second, but suddenly Spencer's hands found your face and he kissed you. It wasn’t needy, or desperate but longing. The kind of kiss that you want forever, too afraid to know what happens when it's gone. 

When he pulled back, he just looked at you for a second. You were too shocked to speak and even if you could, he wasn’t sure what he’d say back. So instead, you stood up and sat next to him. You leaned your head on his shoulder and just watch the stars, the room, quiet. The two of you at a standstill - unable to do much at all.

Spencer can still taste you. You tasted minty because you chew a lot of gum, but your chapstick tasted like artificial pineapples. You said you were experimenting with different kinds, and he wonders what kissing you at different times would be like. If you tasted different on days not like that one. Maybe that's what makes that kiss so special and the memory so special too. 

When he kissed you the first time, he didn’t realize how much it would ease him. Kissing you was like breathing, and that kiss felt like the first time he had managed to get his head over water - no longer drowning in a sea of memories but floating in feelings he thought he lost. You were so fucking incredible, and it was the first time that Spencer found himself itching for something like this.

It scared him. All of his confidence was washed away and he was left cold. He didn’t speak to you for a few months after that - not really anyways. Little check-ups and casual run-ins but nothing more. It didn’t last that long, really. 

// “Love, can you please get that cereal from the top-shelf cause its too high and you’d probably be able too if you stood on your tip-toes?,” your voice is so familiar to Spencer's ears. The word love rung out in his head. He peeks around the corner, making sure he’s out of sight before he looks. 

There was a man next to you, doing as you said. He was tall, dark haired, and handsome. His build was nice, strong shoulders and jaw. Everything Spencer wasn’t really. His heart sank to his stomach and he shut his eyes for a second before looking back. 

“Thank youuuu,” you draw your voice out - you did that to be annoying but it was cute to him. He always liked it. He feels like he can’t breathe. 

“You’re so annoying,” the man rolls his eyes and you snort, before laughing again. 

“Damn, that hurts. I thought you loved me,” you pouted. The guy shook his head and chuckled. 

“I do love you, doesn’t mean you’re not annoying though,” he says rolling his eyes. You laugh loudly, the belly laugh you do when you find something hilarious. Spencer loves the sound but hates the way he hears it. His breathing is shallow. 

“Well, fine, whatever. I know you have the date with that one girl in like an hour, but thanks for shopping with me anyways. I just didn’t feel like being by myself today, “ you say warmly. The man gives you a bearhug and chuckles. 

“Anything for you, Y/N. We’re all here for you, one call away. It’s the least we can do for our favorite ex-roomate,” he offers. 

Everything clicks in Spencers mind as he breathes out with relief. You used to live with a bunch of childhood friends in a house together before you decided to pursue your career. For the most part, they were second family to you. It was back in college and it was cheaper but you’d all go to each other's houses for thanksgiving and stuff like that. He sighs deeply, feeling shitty for not remembering. 

Your friend leaves and Spencer does too. He took it as a sign that he shouldn’t speak to you, and continued on that path, unsure of where the road ended at all 

That memory makes Spencer's heartache. He couldn’t say it for so long but it was clear to most of the people he knew that he loved you. He loved you like the moon loves the ocean, or how the skyline loves the sun - distant, and longing but gorgeous. Loving you was beautiful but it made him feel tragic, like his heart was after something he couldn’t have. 

He touched you, held you, and gave to you so many pieces of him without thinking twice. Who can blame him for his fear of loss? One he’s encountered so many times he’s unsure of what stability feels like. He loves you too much to lose you, so he figures the longer you’re safe and happy, even if it hurts, the better. Defensive mechanics for a broken heart, one like his. 

When he finds himself alone on a Saturday night, he isn’t surprised. His eyes are hollowed out, purple and black bags that keep him from looking alive - he didn’t really feel alive either he can’t say. Instead, he watches the world outside of his apartment window - the cars passing in slow-motion, blinding sparks of light that race past.Rain pouring along the streets. The streetlights were working overtime as the whole city was alive, so much sound around him but it was all white noise.

He leans his head back onto the wall and looks down to the phone to his side. He reaches over carefully, unsure of what he’s really doing before he opens up his contact list. Your name sent an ache through his chest. 

“Princess Y/N,” he reads to himself, laughing. You had put that in his phone for him a while back, rather upset that your contact name was just Y/N. He didn’t see the problem but you did and so you changed it. 

He doesn’t know how to stop himself, as his fingers tap the phone icon next to your name. Every ring feels like hours. He doesn't know what he was doing but he needed to do it whatever it was. One more ring and then, you picked up. 

Shit, you actually picked up. 

“Hey, Spencer, everything okay?” your voice was warm, full of concern. He’s rendered speechless for a moment. 

“Y-yeah. I’m fine, how are you?,”  he ask, unsure of what to say. He could feel your hesitation but still waited for a response. 

“I’m okay, driving home from a work-party thing,” you say exasperated. Spencer smiles, knowing how your sarcasm shows out for any work-related outings, which made him laugh to himself. You loved your job and co-workers but your boss was a prick. 

“Drive safe,” he says soft. His voice is raspy. 

“I will, Spencer. Do you need anything else?,” you ask, sighing. As much as you missed him, you didn’t wanna reopen any old wounds, so you figured it’d be best to cut the conversation short. 

But Spencer doesn’t want that, so he sighs, curling his knuckles over and over to relieve some of his nerves. Swallowing thick, his voice appears again. 

“Can I see you in the morning? Please,” he whispers out to you.

“I’m busy then, but I can just come see you tonight before I’m home, I should be passing by your place soon. Do you need anything?” You ask thoughtfully. You figure something happened so you don’t question it - no matter where you two were you’d always be there for Spencer if he needed it. 

“Just you,” the words escape him before he has the time to think about it. Your eyes widen, nearly crashing your car into the side of the road at his comment. It was certainly out of character. 

“I’ll be there in a few minutes,” you say quietly, coughing. Spencer sighs and nods. 

“See you soon,” 

_ 

Even though he was expecting it, the knock on the door had come as a surprise. It was only 15 minutes, and when he answered it, there you stood. You had some middle eastern food in your hand and you were dressed to the nines. A black dress hugs your waist accompanied by gold jewelry and makeup a bit darker than you’d wear most days. You were beautiful, you looked beautiful and Spencer finds his heart beating out his chest. 

“I know you said you didn’t want anything but knowing you, you haven’t eaten since you had an off day and you forget to eat on off days  - so I bought some falafel with pita, and some other stuff,” you explain, taking your heels off as you walk in, Spencer closing the door behind you. His eyes wander on your hips and you pretend you don’t notice. 

“You look nice,” Spencer compliments meekly. You shoot him a small smile

“Thanks,” you mumble out. You settle on a chair in Spencer's house, across ways from his couch where Spencer sits. You open the bags and take out white foam boxes with forks, spoons, and napkins. You slide the box over to Spencer before you take your own and settle down. No awkward tension, too familiar for both of you for it to be that way after all. 

For a moment you two eat in silence. The silence isn’t deafening or awkward but surely it doesn’t belong, normally this was filled with idle chatter, the kind you can only have with someone who feels made for you. Spencer looks up at you as he pauses, watching you eat in contentment as your eyes wander around his apartment. He watched you frown as you saw the unrest in his living room, which would likely be unnoticeable to anyone else except the BAU and you. 

“What’d you need me for anyways, Spence?,” you ask again, taking another bite of the pita bread in your hands. You lift your hand up to wipe the hummus of your face and Spence smiles sadly. 

“Nothing, actually. I just, uh, couldn’t stop thinking I guess,” he explains quietly. You look at him concerned, putting your food down and wiping your hands on a napkin. 

“Are the nightmares back, Spence?,”

He shakes his head. 

“No. It’s more like reminiscing and I can’t seem to get it to stop. It’s in my dreams too but they’re not nightmares,” he answers, voice hesitant 

“What are the dreams about?,” you ask, wanting to get to the bottom of the problem. 

“You,” Spencer clarifies. You look at him surprised and your conversation from earlier slips into your head, though you figured Spencer was just distressed and needed company. You didn’t think anything of it, at the time. 

“Me?,” you say, voice barely a whisper. 

“I can’t get you out of my head, it seems like. And I’ve tried, we stopped talking and seeing each other and I figured it would work for the most part but then it didn’t. I know it’s selfish to call you after all this time but I don’t know how long I can keep up like this,” he recites, almost like he’d been planning this conversation for far too long. 

“I don’t know what to say. It really hurt when we stopped talking, and I didn’t know why so I figured you’d just weren’t interested or -” you start but Spencer cuts you off. 

“I never lost interest,” he replies firmly. Your face is warm but your heart is heavy. 

“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say,” you say, looking up at him. 

“I’m in love with you,” Spencer says calmly. 

“Oh,” 

Spencer's heart aches. You’re a little overwhelmed, to be honest. You knew you loved Spencer but you figured since the beginning it was unrequited so you tried to let it go, though it wasn’t working much. 

“Say something, please,” his voice is hoarse, as tears well up in the corners of his eyes. You hurry over to sit next to him as he turns to face you and you wipe his tears away. The feeling of your hands on his make everything in him still. 

“I love you too, Spence, I just wasn’t expecting the night to turn out like this, that’s all,” you say chewing your lip. Spencer stared at them longingly before looking up at you. 

“It hurt so bad when you started to distance yourself but I figured you were just trying to let me down easy and that you had something else you wanted to pursue. I didn’t know for sure so I never said anything, and just let it happen,” you say back, hands softly at the base of his neck, the other holding his hand. 

“I’m so sorry I hurt you. It was never my intention you just -,” he cuts himself off but the tug on his hand urges him forward. He shuts his eyes. 

“You make me so happy, and the thought of losing that happiness permanently scars me. It would’ve hurt to see you be with someone else but at least…” his voice becomes scarce, his throat constricted. 

“At least you would’ve been alive, not harms way, you know?,” he says. A sob chokes its way out of his throat before he lays his head int your shoulder and cries. You smooth the back of his hair, and let him.

“We have so many memories together, Y/N. And try as I might tp let them go, I couldn’t. I’ve never really been good at that, but it was different with you,” he cries softly, tears fall from your own eyes. 

“I was trying to move on, but nothing is the same without you, so I’m sorry for putting you in harm's way, but I don’t know what to do anymore. “ he finishes. He sits up and looks at you, eyes sullen. 

“I’m in love with you for who you are and what you do. Your job is too big a part of that for me to ignore. I know you’re worried, and I understand that but you deserve to be happy. It’s not careless for you to move on, or love freely. You and that damn BAU are there, just in case danger comes. I trust you and them, so please don’t hold back because you’re scared,” you say softly, pushing his hair out of his face. 

“Please be my girlfriend, Y/N,” he says suddenly. You look at him surprised, but you smile - tears and all and kiss him slow.

 When you pull back, he returns the favor and kisses you again. You stay like that for longer than either of you like to admit, holding each other close - lips desperate to be near each other, feel each other for just a second longer. Like the whole word will fall away if you don’t. 

“Okay, boy genius. I’ll be your girlfriend,” you say, smiling bright. Spencer tackles you with a hug, arms tight around you laid on top of you. The rain outside stops, as the sun peeks out from the skyline as the two of you kiss each other slowly. Too caught up to notice anything except each other. Too in love to bother.

Taglist: @cynbx​ @skrrrrrrrrrrt​ @zephyr-studiesjp​

#spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid angst #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds self insert #Criminal Minds #criminal minds fluff #criminal minds angst #aaaaaa so happy 2 b back #spencer is the whole love of my life dude #so cute #an angel #anyways

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #333

“imaginary chain  /  the one you never break  /  seething all alone”

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah, I'm pretty open about what I'm afraid of. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What class in high school did you struggle with the most? I honestly don't remember with certainty, but it was probably math or economics. At least, I think econ was my senior year. What could you talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, a few game franchises... maybe a couple more topics. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah, but I don't have many games on there and rarely touch the ones I do. Do you like gaming? I do, but not as much as I did for most of my life. I mostly just play WoW now, and even that I'm not that into anymore. Part of it though comes from not buying any new games that I'm interested in because 1.) no money and 2.) no proper console, and you can only replay games so many times before you're just... yeah, done. Do you like reading books? Some days. Do you like religion? All things considered? No. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Y'know, growing up, I actually liked watching my younger neighbor play one of those games, but I don't remember which. Though he never actually "played" it... just ran around wreaking havoc, lol. I do however think GTAV was the one that Jason and Jacob started playing together when we moved into the apartment, and I thought the story was okay; I don't think they ever got far into it, though. Definitely wasn't Jason's sort of game, and I don't think it was too much up Jacob's alley, either. Can you twerk? I haven't tried and you will never see me try either, lmao. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes, but I almost never use it. If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back? Yes. If your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back? No. Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Yes, because of how badly she hurt him. I don't have any negative feelings towards her now, though. We're actually friends, haha. The irony. Are you an easy lay? What weird wording. But whatever, quite the polar opposite actually. When’s the last time you said you were sorry? A few days ago. Are there any songs you listen to everyday? No. Would you like living on the coast? As someone who lives in a state hit by hurricanes usually every year and has seen the incredible damage they usually bring to the coast, no. I don't like the smell or gritty feel of salty air, either. When’s the last time you were really late to something? No idea. That's usually not a problem with me. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? The last person I actually stopped like-liking would be Girt, and that would be because I just came to the realization I saw him too much as my brother instead of boyfriend. It just always felt awkward. Do you still talk to that person? Yeah, we're good. No hard feelings or anything between us. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Do you trust easily? Fuck no. I'll be cautious, at least to some degree, about new people for a while. What is the last song to make you cry? Since I've actually behaved and not listened to any trigger songs, it's been a long while, but it was probably "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Last person you hung up on? I'm sure some automated message. I barely ever answer the phone to numbers I don't recognize, though. Where was your last car ride to and from? To Wal-Mart w/ Mom to pick up our order and then back home. Next big outing? *shrug* Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not really, no. Considering I'm by far my most authentic self online, I actually tend to appreciate virtual friends more, if I'm being honest. I try to keep up with those people. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not really, no. I think I saw Warcraft the day it came into theaters, though. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yep. Tragic romance tends to do it the most, I think. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have one to track my menstrual cycle as well as another that tracks my daily caloric intake, but I'm bad at using it because it's tedious if I actually have to measure something. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Ummm if you mean like, in general, probably my mom's. But this most certainly depends on the subject I'm taking feedback on. What is something society "expects" you to do that you don't want to do and/or don't plan on doing? Shaving my legs came to mind first. Granted, I will if there is almost any chance of someone seeing them, but otherwise, I just don't care. We respect women with body hair on this account and see them as no less feminine. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you're drawn to? I think it's cool, yeah. I should have an answer for this, given architecture was a massive focus in Art History the last time I was in school... Roman architecture comes to my head first, if that says anything. What was one of your favorite things from the nineties? BOY OH BOY, SO MUCH!! I'm probably gonna say the toys. There was some dope shit, man. Do you collect things pertaining to an animal? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING featuring a meerkat!!!!! :''') Do you wish that people were kinder to spiders? Well, yes. I hope everyone in their heart wishes this, even if they're afraid of them. They're very important to our ecosystem, and none are out there to harm us; their existence does us a favor. Where do you normally order pizza from? Domino's (my favorite) or LIttle Caesar's for the price. Did your parents keep anything of yours from when you were a baby? Oh yes, loads of stuff that's stored away somewhere. Do you own one of those "____ For Dummies" books? No, but I feel like we had one at some point? What was the last VHS tape that you watched? Yikes, who knows. Did you watch Boy Meets World back in the day? I actually didn't, no. Our old neighbor though loved it so much that she named her daughter Tapanga (deliberately spelled that way). Who is your favorite Scooby Doo character? I never really had one. Maybe Thelma. If I were to give you a coloring book, what would you want its theme to be? Animals. Have you ever won a stuffed animal at a carnival? Possibly a small one. I can tell you I did however accidentally stab the guy who ran the dart-throwing booth though, lmfao. He was obviously fine, and it wasn't a bad wound. I felt SOOOOOO bad. Are you a fan of narwhals? I'm a fan of any animal. Narwhals are definitely fascinating creatures. Grape or orange soda? Orange. Grape-flavored soda ain't my thing. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so painstakingly boring and repetitive. Did you have a favorite Disney movie as a child? It was and still is The Lion King. Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yeah, a GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Is shyness cute? It definitely can be. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning before? No. Do you like to gossip, or do you prefer to keep your mouth shut? I'm not a gossip fan. Have you ever vandalized someone else’s property before? Most definitely not. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Have you ever been under suicide watch for 72 hours in a psychiatric ward? Yes; at least here, that's protocol when you're admitted for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. Have you ever gone through your significant other’s phone or social media accounts, or do you respect their privacy? Absolutely not. That shit pisses me off so badly. Do you wear any sort of clothing for religious reasons? No. What's something you worked extremely hard to get? My sanity back. Sounds so dramatic, but I'm literally not kidding. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I remember. How many kids do you want to have? I don't want kids, but to entertain the question, when I did, I wanted three. It's fuckin wild to imagine for even a second that I once wanted that. Do you believe that being gay is a sin? *eye roll* Are you any good at photography? If so, what’s your specialty? I mean it with modesty, but I think I'm pretty good. My favorite thing to photograph are animals, but I generally take most pictures of people by request or pay. Judging by my deviantART account, my nature pics definitely get the most attention. Have you ever been a member of a gang before? Fuckin yikes, no. An infamous gang tried breaking into my childhood home once, so you can probably gather that I would never take part in their "big bad guys" bullshit. Have you ever felt like you were neither male nor female? No, I'm comfortable as a cisgender female. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? NO. Anything with raisins = NO. Do you think you’re attractive? No. Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No, not that I really passed notes to begin with. I'd be mortified, regardless of what it was about. Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? Arctic. Do you have an older brother? Yes. He's technically my half-brother, but I don't see "half"s. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Are your collarbones prominent? Bitch I wish so I could get the damn dermal piercings I've wanted for years. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? As a kid, yeah. So ugly. Do you love yourself? It's... weird. Therapy is making me realize that a part of me, maybe even the bigger one, doesn't, but at the exact same time, I know I have worth just like every other human. I just don't treat myself like I do. What TV shows do you keep up with? None, until Meerkat Manor returns this summer. :') When’s the last time it snowed where you live? A couple months ago we got a little bit of it. Is your belly button pierced? No, but it would be if I was actually skinny. Just in my personal opinion, I don't at all think that that piercing would look nice on someone as overweight as me. Even if my damn dreams come true and I lose all the weight I want, my stomach will never look "normal," even after I get the excess skin removal surgery that will be very high on my priority list for my own self-image that's been nothing but loathsome since 2016. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is the obvious answer. What do you remember the most about your childhood? Lots of imagination. Parents arguing. Playing with my little sister. What age did you get your first hair cut? I have no idea. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would you ever consider shaving your head? Nah. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Who says we don't now? Zombifying parasites already exist among insects and such, so like... it's not unimaginable to one day see one developed enough to infect humans. I sure as fuck hope not, but. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have a dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I did this many, many months ago, but I guess watch an episode of The Witcher by my own volition. I don't really do spontaneous things with how routine I am, but I had a random urge to check it out one morning. How loud can you whistle? Not very loud at all. Does anything on your body hurt or itch right now? My knees really hurt. They're getting worse. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? There's noooo telling, it's been many years. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. Well, not a *real* one, anyway. Just the little ones for kids. If you had to appear on a game show, which one would you choose? Family Feud. What is your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? I absolutely stick to what I know. I am SO picky. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? I'm not immediately sure, but there's probably something. Do you bump into things often? Yes. I've always had this weird habit of like... drifting when I walk, so I do this easily. I just kinda wander to the sides a bit without realizing it. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. Did you enjoy playing Hop Scotch when you were younger? I did. Do you feel uncomfortable going to the movies by yourself? Nah, not really. I did that with Warcraft and it was actually pretty chill. When thinking about your dream home, what do you think would be your favorite thing to shop for? The ~g o t h i c~ decor. Do you ever listen to those lo-fi hip hop/study music playlists on YouTube/Spotify? No. Are you likelier to work harder if you’re being paid? If not, what drives you to give your best effort? I mean, yeah. I'd assume that's pretty normal. Does the fashion sense of a potential partner matter to you? No. Is there anything that you prefer to write down rather than type? I'm unsure. If you download/torrent things, do you remember the first thing you ever torrented? Oh, the Limewire days of music pirating... but no, I don't remember. What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? Something photography-related, but I don't feel like checking. What do you wish your hair looked like? I wish I could pull off pastel pink hair rn. It also desperately needs a trim. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I'm sure I always will, at least a little. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Uhhhhh have I? I don't think so. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom of the last wedding I shot. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No, but I used to do that big time because I loved "rewatching" stuff when I was on the computer. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mother, big time. Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mother. Or Sara. What profession do you admire the most? Teachers might just win. The patience that must take, among so many other things. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''bornless'' by 3teeth

[madaramee]

🙈what’s my muse’s biggest blind spot?

🍰what’s my muse’s guilty pleasure?

😰when my muse is stressed, how do they act out?

💚what does my muse get envious over?

tell me i must know about the luckiest guy--

@keikakudori; @asobishinshin

🙈what’s my muse’s biggest blind spot?

So I had to look up the actual meaning for this because it was a weird question at first but I think I got it. I’ll answer both meanings regardless tho, mmkay

Ikkaku has a big blind spot in everything politics-related. It’s not that he doesn’t have an opinion, but his boils down to very accusatory statements that ultimately point out how he doesn’t want to formulate one. He’s not stupid per se, simply simple-minded -- and the convoluted nature of politics, in every subject, makes him loathe it all. Nobles and the Central 46 in particular, delving more often than not on the subject, are evidently stressed or frantically worrying over such. He just wants to appear as he is, without having to think about who gains what or how to sway who. Ikkaku chooses, willingly, not to delve or learn about politics. It’s yet another reason he’s glad he’s under someone as simple to understand as Kenpachi, and not under say Sajin or worse -- Byakuya.

If we’re being literal, Ikkaku doesn’t react well to attacks that come from below. It’s his habitual blind spot.

🍰what’s my muse’s guilty pleasure?

Self-care routine. Surprise surprise, Ikkaku may have been infected by Yumichika or Rangiku in one of their own but, as it doesn’t add up with his image at all, it is kept in absolute secret. Still, Ikkaku does enjoy taking care of his skin and looks to a degree; he tried it once on a whim following his friend and since has been keeping that a secret. Though no one would ever know; and the only things that could give it away, would be the makeup marks by his eyes, and the healing balm in his handle.

😰when my muse is stressed, how do they act out?

If left to his own accord, Ikkaku will detach himself from a situation after it’s resolved and head out to train. He may communicate with Hozukimaru (though to not much success given his mental state) or simply blow off steam practicing swings or beating up chumps. Physical violence -- fighting specifically -- is his surefire, most common way to blow off steam; but it doesn’t necessarily always help. If he’s stressed out, one noticeable feature is gone -- his smile. Opting to have fun in fights is one thing, but if he flat out can’t it’d serve a red alert that shows his stress levels. Though if delving on mere conversation, he’d go away if he could; not beating around the bush. If it ends up proving important enough, he will stay as long as required, only to find some isolation later and, resort to the aforementioned.

Overall, Ikkaku handles stress pretty well. His reckless nature can get the better of him, but he won’t change or subdue himself for anyone to see. That on its own, can be a little stressful. Fortunately he’s in a good environment.

💚what does my muse get envious over?

Honestly? About a lot. Ikkaku doesn’t show it, as mostly he would use such feelings to drive himself forward but, he gets surprisingly jealous about lots of things. From the petty ‘they have and I don’t’ materialistic approach to levels of personal values, his initial feeling is that tinge of envy. He’d get jealous if a certain Lieutenant made more money than him, for instance. And while it’s not attributed well, he’d even get envious of Kuchiki Rukia for having friends that plunge into certain death, just to rescue her.

However, his jealousy isn’t all bad. It doesn’t have to be negative. Not all the time.

#keikakudori