#it's like an open secret. people who want to can safely ignore it most of the time

[wandaxpietro]

another ask because this is the only way I know how to contribute to the Maxicest/ScarletSilver fandom (wish i could do more but college is p a i n )

but imagine if Pietro and Wanda just came out and told everyone they're dating/in love (whether as a joke or if they're being serious or idk) I am willing to bet a majority of their friends/coworkers/acquaintances/enemies would either be like: "we knew lol" or "you haven't already???" or be supportive or neutral to their relationship.

But I'm wondering... how would Magneto react? How would Lorna react? How would Magda/Marya/Natalya and Django react? (if they were alive to see it) How would Vision or Crystal react?

Hell, how would Billy and Tommy react? And Luna too? (marvel pls bring her back :((( plsss)

i feel like in the current SW&QS comic run, there will probably be some in-universe comment/rumors that since are Pietro and Wanda are together again, that they are together.

(might ask more questions/thoughts/random blurbs later ://)

ah i think you're more charitable than i am... i don't think most people who know them would be okay with it. they all probably know to varying degrees -- especially their close friends -- it's the deniability that saves it for them, that makes them able to ignore all of it. the avengers (the ones that are close to them, that is) all know, all have seen the twins in weird situations, but they've gotten very very good at looking away. none of them want to know. i think they'd be highly uncomfortable if they came out with their relationship officially, because that'd mean they can no longer ignore it, y'know? i don't think most would start a fight about it or a confrontation or anything, but they'd get weird around the twins.

(on a side note, i think clint is one of the people who'd get actually angry for a while lol. that moment when you're bisexual and your two crushes are dating etc etc. also i think carol would ask wanda if she's alright, if pietro's forcing her into anything, which would make wanda really mad. janet i think is smart enough that she's realized for a long time they're in love & knows something like that isn't going on but she wouldn't be very comfortable, either. the one i think who's most likely to "accept" it is actually tony bcuz i think he genuinely wouldn't give a fuck lol)

that aside! now for the ones you actually asked about lol. ah it's difficult.

magneto - depends on when he'd find out. during brotherhood times, i don't think he'd care, because he didn't really care about them to begin with. once he finds out they're related, at the very beginning, i think he'd be appalled but there isn't anything he can do about it, since he's an absent father trying to reconnect and has no rights to his children. once they're in the family dance for a while, he's grown a bit demanding, esp towards pietro, if that makes sense? so i think he'd probably argue with them about it lol. i don't think he'd like it, not so much bcuz of personal disgust, but mostly bcuz of optics. but also bcuz he has a desire for his children to live normal, happy lives (as much as he has trouble showing them that normally lol) and i think he'd think that would interfere with that. he's also very good at ignoring it, however -- before he'd officially find out, ofc, but after, too. he just conveniently "forgets" it. maybe starts introducing both of them to other people. they hate it.

lorna - i think lorna knows. i think she's known for a long time and while she was disgusted by it at first (and also strangely jealous; she doesn't want either of them but they've always been so close and she never had that. she doesn't have a sibling that's primarily hers, if that makes sense) i think she came to terms with it over time, enough so that she'd be pretty alright with it if they went official.

i honestly don't know about magda, django, marya and natalya... i think magda would have a lot of compassion after everything they've been through, but would treat it as an unfortunate side-effect of all of the twins' trauma, if that makes sense? she loves them a lot, though. the rest of them i don't know. i can't see any of them liking it, but marya and django might just be happy they're both alive and happy, you know? i feel like natalya would want more for them, similarly to magneto, bcuz she doesn't quite get it. but no one does. so yknow.

so billy and tommy are their kids. we know this. i think tommy wouldn't care, tbh. i can't see him being fazed or disgusted by it, also i think he'd be happy to find out pietro is his dad. they already get along, and he doesn't have a lot of people who care about him, and who want to spend time with him (vision never did lol). idk about billy..... i think he dearly loves them both but i think he might just think wanda could do better (lol). i think he'd be vaguely uncomfortable, but pietro would never play dad if billy didn't want that, so i think they're fine-ish? he'd probably get used to it eventually even when he's not thrilled. idk if he'd ever see pietro as his dad. also i think he's also known for a long time but he hasn't gotten over it like lorna has.

as for luna....... honestly she's genuinely a weird kid. she can see people's emotions & i can't see her caring much about "human" taboos. she's from a royal family, and her aunt's husband is also her aunt's (distant) cousin. i think she'd be fine, lol. she can see the love between wanda & pietro -- and tho she probably didn't realize (or didn't want to; bcuz that'd make things complicated) that it was romantic, too, she'd be relatively fine, just happy that her father's happy. she's long since been over crystal and pietro's marriage, so that doesn't bother her, either.

#i'm sorry if this feels like a pessimistic view lol #but i genuinely can't see most of the people surrounding them as actually fully supportive #also i think wanda & pietro wouldn't ever officially come out as a couple. it's been a secret for a long time #and at some point it's not really a secret anymore -- w and p don't treat it as one anymore either -- but no one talks about it #it's like an open secret. people who want to can safely ignore it most of the time #but then they'll catch a clandestine moment and be reminded. lol. #anyway! #answered #i should probably start tagging these asks #scarletsilver #maxicest

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[restinslices]

If requests are open how abt teens lin kuei brothers x brat male reader? (Also teen)

I tried my best but I’m actually so bad at writing dom characters, it’s insane. After Bi-Han, my brain shut off. If this was a paid service, you’d need a refund gang. You said teens but I kept them as adults cause although ik minors engage in those activities aswell, I’m an adult soooooo😃

Bi-Han

Some people are probably expecting me to say some wild shit like he's the worst, he doesn't respect boundaries, he's always angry at you, doesn't listen to the safe word, ect ect. 

I don't think that's true 

Am I saying he's all soft and squishy? No. But Bi-Han is not a terrible dom. 

Bi-Han is a perfectionist so any precautions beforehand are definitely gonna be dealt with. What he wants outta this, what you want, limits, ect. 

Onto dealing with a brat though, we already know Bi-Han has a short temper so any bratty behavior would noticeably annoy him 

Smth that would guarantee a punishment would be acting out in front of other Lin Kuei or just in public. It'd be discreet enough that no one would really notice what's going on, but obvious enough that he'd know you're being a brat on purpose 

Questioning certain orders, doing things extremely slow, talking over him, the list could go on. Being bratty around people especially when he's supposed to be “professional” is the quickest way to get a punishment 

I kinda see it as a storm. You know it's coming, you see the signs, but when it happens you still go “dammit. I can't believe it's raining like this”

Does he warn you? Yes. But he only does it once. If you keep going, he mentally writes it all down 

Now Bi-Han doesn't strike me as someone who particularly likes physical touch all the time but punishments don't have to be the typical spanking or harsh fucking. He can be more creative 

I feel like he enjoys punishments that have to do with humiliation. There's so much control in telling you to do something and you just follow it. 

Very much a “ride my boot” type of guy 

The type to make you orgasm over and over again and you don't stop until he's satisfied (obviously keeping your safety and what you can take in mind though)

Takes bratty behavior seriously. He's not making funny little jokes or nothing of the sort. He's putting you in your place 

His punishments would linger. For example he'd tell you to tell him whenever you got horny and why for like, a solid week. This seems small but if you get hormonal easily, you're going up to him a lot and he's shaming you everytime. 

His arms? You're that easy? How could you even survive without him?

The best part of this is you don't have to tell him any of this. Realistically you could ignore this or not tell him every time you're hormonal, and he makes sure to taunt you and remind you of this. 

Humiliation punishments are his go to

Rewards would probably be allowing you a bit of control, like picking any toys you'll use or letting you pick the scene 

A brat would probably fit him well cause he gets to constantly put you in your place, which can be a good way to relax for him 

Kuai Liang

Is also very organized. So organized I think he'd have a secret way to tell you he's actually not in the mood or too busy for you. 

“Go take a walk” means “not right now” 

Bratty behaviors that would bother him the most I think would be doing dumb shit. Like, below average IQ type of things. 

It bothers him because you're not stupid so stop acting stupid. If he says do A, don't do B

But it's fine. You wanna play stupid? He can do that. 

I know I said Bi-Han’s punishments sometimes linger but it really ain't got shit on Kuai Liang’s

If you wanna act like you don't understand basic orders because you wanna act out, then he's gonna act like he doesn't understand anything you want. 

You say “I need you” but he goes to do something else. What's the problem? Clearly you were saying you needed him to do laundry that day. 

You say “touch me” but he touches you everywhere except where you really need him 

You could say something as clear as “please make me cum” and he'd bring you close, but would stop. Why are you upset? You didn't say what day to make you cum. You'll do it later. 

Every single request you have for him turns into something you didn't want and he watches with satisfaction as it slowly drives you insane. 

And doing other bratty behaviors to try and get a response outta him doesn't work because the more bratty you act, the longer he's gonna keep this up. He has the patience to do this too. 

This won't stop until you're on your knees begging like a madman for him to do anything to make you feel good and promising you'll behave from now on. 

And even then he's not satisfied. You have to actually show you're gonna start behaving. He won't actually give you what you want until you behave for at least a week or two straight. No problems. No complaining. No issues. 

You both know you'll act out again but for a good chunk of time, he's enjoying his peace 

Tomas Vrbada

I honestly cannot imagine this man as a dom but for you, I will try 

Tomas is a nice guy and this nice guy shit is how the problem would start 

Taunts would be the way to get to him. So when you say “can't you do better or are you too soft?” it gets to him 

Tomas’ version of punishment would be doing nothing at all. 

He's too soft? Ok. That means he's too soft to touch you, to whisper any dirty things, to tease you, ect. 

Kuai Liang is interacting with you but is doing the exact opposite, Tomas is straight up refusing to do anything. 

You can try to seduce him all you want, you're getting a smart ass “we can't do that. I'm too soft for all of that”

Legit becomes the biggest prude when it comes to doing anything with you. Has no problem touching himself and telling you you can't touch cause he “couldn't handle it”

He takes taunts literal. “I could fuck myself better”, ok then he won't touch you at all for awhile. You got it. “You could do better”, you are completely right. As a matter fact, how about he practice on himself or using a toy and making you watch. Ya know, just to have a third party to inform him if he's doing well. 

Just a real petty bitch in a cute package. 

Probably needs the most breaks when it comes to a brat though cause sometimes he's fr not tryna hear that shit and just needs someone to be there. Which is fine. 

I also imagine he’s possibly new to being a dom so this whole thing is trying shit out. He’s willing to experiment with different kind of punishments, rewards, schedules, all that shit.

When dealing with a brat Bi-Han is strict, Kuai Liang is patience and pettiness wrapped in one and Tomas is just petty 

Looking back there’s no mention of male anatomy and it’s so short. Idk why dom characters make my brain short circuit. We will attempt dom characters at a later date but for now, this is all I got.

#bi han x y/n #bi han x reader #bi han sub zero #bi han mk1 #bi han headcanons #bi han smut #kuai liang x y/n #kuai liang x reader #kuai liang scorpion #kuai liang mk1 #kuai liang smut #kuai liang headcanons #tomas vrbada x reader #tomas vrbada x y/n #tomas vrbada mk1 #tomas vrbada headcanons #tomas vrbada smoke #Tomas vrbada smoke #mk1 x reader #legit short circuit #mk1 #mk1 2023

[imtooscaredforthis]

Entrapment

Chapter Twenty Four: Unexpected

Mentions of: Dubcon/noncon themes, stabbing, death, and murder, etc.

A/N: some more pervy Johnny for you lmao

Tags: @dead-bxxxtch-walking @mama-miya @moonshineinasippycup @stwbwwychan @vandeaad @the-fandoms-georgie

“I feel like we haven’t talked in forever. How are you? How is everything?” Rachel asked as the two of you exited the building together and walked to the parking lot.

“I’m good. Work has been pretty good. Jed is a great partner.” You admitted with a shrug.

“I’m sure he is. You guys getting along good?” She asked with a teasing grin. “Yeah- what’s that look for?”

“Nothing. So you guys are close?” You don’t like where this is going.

“I mean, yeah- but..” You scoffed when you noticed Rachel’s smug grin. She’s onto you.

“Will you quit it? He and I are just friends. He’s like a brother to me.” You lied.

Rachel laughed at that. “Bullshit. I’m not dumb. I can tell when two people are fucking, and you and Jed totally are. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. No judgment here.”

Before you could finish your conversation, the two of you split up, and she went to her car, while you walked home. You looked over your shoulder to make sure the coast was clear before you called after her.

“Jed and I aren’t- we’re not fucking, okay?! We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, babe!” She called back. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you walked off, trying to ignore how flustered she had gotten you.

It’s fine. She won’t tell anyone. At worst she’ll just keep teasing you like this. Even if it was annoying, there wasn’t much you could do about it.

—

Once you got back home, you changed your clothes and had a glass of wine to wind down. But you didn’t relax, no. You never relax anymore. How could you when you know he’s still out there, harming more innocent people? Jesse, Lucia and Nate all deserved justice. You weren’t going to rest until you got it for them.

As you ate your dinner, you stared at the bulletin board you put up on your wall, with pictures of Ghostface’s victims, reports of his last sightings, and anything you could find. You managed to make some connections as to where he would find his victims.

You did find quite a few that went to Walleye’s but there were still inconsistencies here and there. All you knew was that most of them were average people, middle class and normal, which makes it even harder for him to figure out who he’s after next.

You stared at the board for a little while, before sitting down on your couch, running a hand through your hair. With all the time you had been spending with Jed, you haven’t been able to focus much on this. But today, he was out sick, giving you more room to think about Ghostface, even if you didn’t want to.

With a frustrated sigh, you grabbed the remote, clicking on the TV.

“Breaking news: Couple Marie and Carlton Thomas have been found dead in their home this afternoon.”

You stared at the screen in complete shock as a photo of them flashed onto the tv, listening as it continued. “The couple was found by a neighbor this evening when they noticed that their back door was open and their dog had escaped. They were stabbed to death, both having almost twenty wounds each. So the question we’re all wondering is: could this be another Ghostface murder?”

“We’re still figuring out motives, but the possibility is there. We’re working as hard as we can to catch this guy and all we can say right now is follow the curfew and lock your doors at night, and if you see anything suspicious, don’t be afraid to say something.” The sheriff said.

You couldn’t watch any more of this bullshit. You reached over and shut off the tv, sighing softly. Staring at the black reflection of the screen, you realized someone was standing behind you.

“Boo.” You sprung up from the couch, gasping in surprise. You turned on your heel trying to face him straight on. You moved so fast that you stumbled forward, causing him to catch you.

“Careful there, sweetheart, we don’t want you getting hurt do we?” Ghostface cooed in that same condescending tone. You tore yourself from his grip, glowering at him.

You stepped back into the kitchen, grabbing a knife and raising it threateningly. “Stay the fuck away from me.”

How did he even get in? How did you not notice him? He has been standing behind you while you were watching, and you were completely vulnerable. He could’ve easily killed you, but he didn’t. He was toying with you.

“Oh, come on, Dollface. Don’t be like that. I missed you. And from what I can tell, you missed me too.” He gestured to the bulletin board on your wall, before walking over to you. He took slow steps, like a predator ready to pounce.

Just because he didn’t want to kill you didn’t mean he didn’t want to hurt you..but you knew attacking him would only end badly. You lowered the knife slightly, but didn’t let it go.

He moved swiftly, grabbing your wrist and slamming it against the wall, making you drop the knife. “There you go. Good girl.”

“What do you want from me?” You couldn’t help but ask, angry and fearful. “What? Can’t we just have a nice little chat? You’re the one who pulled out the knife.”

He released your wrist, letting you go. “I think it’s time we catch up. You’ve been doing a lot lately, haven’t you? Had a lot of fun with your little Boy Scout?”

“Boy Scout? You mean-”

“Your little boyfriend? Jeb or Jed or whatever? The one who’s helping you write articles on me? Yeah, him. I’ve been watching you two..and you really seemed to be enjoying yourself, slut.”

You felt yourself grow flustered from humiliation and embarrassment. “Don’t hurt him.”

“Awww you want to protect him, how sweet. Don’t worry, toots. I’m not planning on it. As long as you behave, that is. Though I will say, I am jealous.” You felt his other arm hook around your back, the cool blade pressing into you and making you arch forward and into his touch, and his hand moved from your wrist to your chin, tilting your head upward while he examined your body.

“Such a pretty thing. I wouldn’t mind having you myself.” He pressed his knife into your back, forcing your waist to press against his, feeling his hardness.

He forced your shirt upwards, and you tried to stop him, but he smacked your hands away. He smirked. “No bra? How naughty.”

He eyed your tits, while you squirmed slightly in his grip, trying to get him to stop, but the harsh press of his knife and his groin managed to get you to still. His gloved hand caressed your breasts, before sliding down to your stomach.

“Yeah, we’re definitely gonna have some fun later.” You could hear the lust and smugness in his voice.

“What makes you think I would want to do any of that with you? I don’t even want to touch you! I hate you!” You hissed in disgust.

“Oh, I know you do. But you don’t have a choice do you? Not if you want your friends to live.” He leaned over and pressed his mask to your ear, his voice lowering. “You think Jed’s good? I’ll have you screaming and crying for me. And you’ll love it like the good little whore you are.”

He slightly ground his hardness against you, and you bit your lip to hold back a whimper. He removed his knife from your back, pressing it against your front instead. With the flick of his wrist, he cut your stomach, causing you to cry out.

“Just something to remember me by. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, and we’ll have fun very soon.”

He let you go, stalking off into your bedroom, and leaving out the side window onto the fire escape.

Yeah, you need to change your locks.

#dead by deadlight #dbd #dbd killer #dbd x reader #killer x reader #dbd ghostface #ghostface dbd #ghostface dead by daylight #ghostface fanfiction #ghostface smut #ghostface x reader #jed olsen dbd #dbd jed olsen #danny jed olsen johnson #jed olsen x reader #danny johnson dbd #dbd danny #dbd danny johnson #danny johnson x reader #danny johnson #ghostface fanfic

[lxclerc]

𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 | 𝐦𝐬𝟒𝟕

SUMMARY: in which staying away was impossible REQUEST: ‘can you do anything for mick pls there’s barely any content for him and i need more’ and ‘mick ansgt please??’ PAIRING: mick schumacher x reader WARNING: angst to fluff, some slight cursing WORD COUNT: 1.8k

NOTE: let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

masterlist

Loving Mick was never part of your plans. You’re determined to prove yourself from anyone who ever doubted you, determined to prove that you aren’t just a pretty doll meant to look pretty on a shelf, but from the moment you met him, there’s something tragic about him that drew you close, seeing yourself in his eyes and feeling like you’re home. 

You were never into blondes and you were never meant to fall for his shy smiles and the way he seems so hesitant in meeting your eyes. You were never meant to feel so safe and cared for in his presence but most of all, you were never meant to be just friends. 

From the first day you met him, there’s always been something between the two of you. His eyes often lingered on your lips, his touch lingering on your skin a few seconds too long. You were never meant to be just friends. You were always meant to be more but for some reason, you stayed as friends. 

Maybe it was the comfort you brought each other, the intimacy you always shared. Was it the bond and the love and the feeling of being so understood from one simple shared glance? Whatever it was, the two of you were terrified to lose it and so you stayed friends. 

Friends who often lay side by side as you whisper secrets at the dead of the night, hands entwined. Friends who say they’re dating other people as though it’s a mistake, as though it’s an apology, a plea for help. Friends. Best friends. Soulmates maybe. 

Most of the time, it’s you he has to stay up for, waiting for a text as you drink with friends, always pushing yourself past your limit just to prove something because you always have to prove something, always have to be proving yourself. 

During your schooling years, you get the highest grades just to prove that you can. In university, you enroll in the hardest degree just to prove that you can finish it. When you drink, you always down more shots than anyone just to prove that you can. You flirt with guys and take them home because you can. You don’t kiss Mick silly no matter how badly you want to do so to prove that you can. 

You can not love him. You can live without him. You can go about your day knowing some other girl has her lips on his skin. And you can pretend that it’s not all lies.  

You can do anything you set your mind to. That must be why you’ve been ignoring his calls the past few weeks, trying to prove to yourself that you don’t need him, that you can ignore him. Mick knows you a little too well. 

And maybe you can live without him. Maybe you can survive without him but Mick isn’t as good of a liar as you are. Unlike you, he doesn’t spend all his time pretending as though there’s not an invisible string tying you two together. He’s never been good at pretending, definitely nowhere as good as you are.

And that’s definitely why he’s out drinking despite the fact that he absolutely hates the taste of alcohol. It’s why he can’t stand opening any social media because he knows he’ll see your smiling face, some guy’s arm around you. 

So yes, usually it’s you calling drunk in the middle of the night and Mick getting up at three in the morning to pick you up. Yes, it’s usually you who pushes everything way past the limit but Mick had tried playing your game for weeks now. He tried pretending that he, too, can live without you. He tried pretending that he doesn’t need you or that he doesn’t compare every woman he meets to you but the sad, bitter truth is that he can’t. 

And even he has a breaking point. Even he, a man who’s spent his life doing exactly what’s expected of him with such grace and such kind smile, reaches a point of no return. 

That must be why he’s calling you, half expecting it to go to voicemail like his past calls have been and half wishing it would just to save himself the embarrassment of being vulnerable in front of you. 

Being vulnerable in front of each other never used to be a problem till you had to prove that you don’t need him. 

But alas, you answer your phone. 

“Hallo,” you say on the other side, your voice soft with sleep and barely a whisper and Mick has to take a deep breath because fucking hell he missed your voice. 

There’s silence on his part as he tries to compose whatever is left of him that he can. Because he’s Mick Schumacher. He was never meant to be the type of guy who gets drunk to pour their heart out. He’s meant to be a boy next door, the one who smiles at you as you pass each other in the hallway. He was never meant to be such a mess. 

But you’re a mess. Wasn’t that one of the first few things you told him? You’re a mess with the constant need to be better than everyone at everything, the constant need to be the kind of girl that would have heads turning. You’re a mess because despite spending the rest of your life trying to prove a point, trying to prove that you’re different, the truth is that you’re just like everyone else. You’re just another woman desperately trying to be worthy of love and attention. 

You’re a mess and now you’ve turned him into one too.

“Y/N,” he said finally, whispering despite the fact that he’s alone in a dark, empty room. He doesn’t know where he is. He stopped caring a few hours ago. Maybe in some girl’s apartment. Mick was never meant to be the type of guy who goes home with a stranger but anything to forget you, anything to remember you. 

“Mick?” Your voice is much clearer now and you immediately know that something’s wrong. You always do. You may be good at pretending, you may be good at pretending that you’re able to spend your days without him lingering at the back of your mind but you can’t deny an absolute truth. You’re one half of a soul, him carrying the other half. “Are you okay?” 

“I don’t know where I am,” he admits because he doesn’t know what else to say. “I don’t know how to get home.” 

And there it was again. The very first thing that drew you to Mick. There’s something broken inside him. How could a man like him, born so privileged and loved, ever know tragedy? But here’s the truth, inside him remains that lost and helpless fourteen year old the moment he lost his father. He carries his pain wherever he goes. He carries his grief like it’s second skin. 

And god, you can never let him go no matter how hard you try and so you pull yourself up, slipping on a jacket as you grab your keys. “Are you drunk? Can you tell me the last thing you remember?” 

“Yes,” he says, answering your first question. “I was with a girl I met in the club. I think I went home with her.”

You suck in a breath, trying to ignore the mental image of Mick, your Mick, dancing with some girl in a club then deciding to go home with her, but isn’t this what you planned when you pulled away from him? You can’t have him. For some reason, you’re never able to. Just as you’re ready to confess, he’s in a relationship. Just as he starts treating you as more than a friend, you’re with another guy. Until eventually, you learned to accept that maybe you and him just don’t work. 

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were never meant to be together after all. What an idiot you’ve been. 

“Send me your location,” you say finally, entering your car. And maybe you were never meant to be together as couples but god knows you can’t stay away for too long. For once in your life, you finally found something you aren’t good at, something you can’t be right at. 

He may have called first but you knew in a day or two, you would have lost all of your self preservation and come crawling to him. 

You may have broken a few laws as you rushed to the location Mick sent, not bothering to stop at red lights seeing as the road seems to be completely vacant. When you park outside the building, Mick is already there, sitting on the curb with his head on his knees. His clothes are rumpled and his hair messy. 

You don’t hesitate to wrap your arms around him as soon as he’s within your reach, kneeling before him. When he looked up at you, you noticed the alcohol induced fog in his eyes. 

“Ich kann es nicht tun,” he said, voice shaky. “Ich kann mich nicht verstellen. Ich kann nicht wegbleiben.” I can’t do it…I can’t pretend. I can’t stay away.

Your heart breaks as you realize that you’re the one to put the two of you in this position. All of this is your doing. Your pride and your ego is the one to blame. You wipe the tears falling from your eyes. You hate seeing him like this, so broken and so lost and the fact that you know that you’re the cause of it makes you want to punish yourself. 

“We’ll talk tomorrow,” you said finally. “Let’s get you to bed first.”

But just as you move to help him up, Mick pulls at your wrist, pulling you down to his lap as his arms snaked around you. The scent of alcohol and some girl’s perfume attacked your senses and you hate that he doesn’t smell like your Mick but his touch is engraved in your mind and you feel your body relax against his hold. 

“Just…” he breathes out, burying his face against your neck as his arms around you tighten. “Just stay here for a moment. Stay with me for a moment please.”

You swallow as you adjust yourself so you’re facing him, your arms wrapping around his neck. The two of you must look so stupid sitting on a curb, so tightly wrapped around each other but you can’t find it in yourself to care. 

The truth is that the two of you can never stay away. You were meant to love him just as you were meant to be his. 

“I’m here,” you say. “I’m never going away again.” 

taglist: @ricsaigaslec @dragon-of-winterfell @coffeehurricanes @rdtbattinson

#f1 #formula 1 #mick schumacher #mick schumacher fluff #mick schumacher angst #formula 1 one shot #mick schumacher one shot #mick schumacher x reader #mick schumacher x y/n #mick schumacher x you #mick schumacher smut #formula 1 fanfic #mick schumacher imagine #mick schumacher fanfic

[yvnaology]

✦ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒… 「 YVNAOLOGY’S OFFICIAL FONTINALIA FESTIVAL ! 」

✰ THE FONTAINE FILM ASSOCIATION HAS A MESSAGE FOR YOU! ( please read below at your earliest convenience. )

greetings, dear traveler! on (01/04/24) we’ve reached 300 followers ✦ a milestone such as this only requires the most celebratory event as a reward for your support. you are hereby invited to join us in the world of film, where productions are manufactured and spread across dimensions — the fontinalia festival!

♯ LINK TO EVENT MASTERLIST HERE!

{ 🎬 } SUBMISSIONS: 15/15 [ NO LONGER TAKING SUBMISSIONS. ]

{ 🎞️ } QUEUE: 0/15 submissions completed.

🎥 R & R ( RULES / REGULATIONS. )

❝where can i enter my submission?❞ i only accept submissions via the ask box, do not send me dms or comment on this post with your submission — they will likely be ignored.

❝how long will the event last for?❞ the event runtime will be from february 20th — march 20th.

❝how do i participate in this event?❞ you are required to: provide me with 1 of your favs, choose 1-2 dialogues + a scene from a movie out of the ones i’ve provided below. one submission per person!

❝which fandoms/characters will you write for?❞ this is open to both genshin impact & honkai: star rail! open for all playable characters for both games (+ sunday, robin, aventurine, firefly from hsr.)

❝when will you be posting the completed submissions?❞ i will begin working on the submissions after the end date, which is march 20th & until then my inbox will be clearing sporadically — a reminder that i am a high school student! not a machine 🤍

✉️ message from the opera epiclese. here is your provided template (not required to use.) :: can i have [dialogue 1] / or + [dialogue 2] using scenario [1-40]? with (1 character), please!

ex. can i have “you look wonderful tonight.” + “stay close to me.” using scenario 1? with dan heng, please!

[REMINDER: IM ONLY WRITING FOR ONE CHARACTER YOU SEND, DO NOT SEND IN MULTIPLE.]

[ ☆ SECTION : DIALOGUE PROMPTS. ]

#1 : “you look wonderful tonight.”

#2 : “stay close to me.”

#3 : “your smile is my favorite kind of magic.”

#4 : “i didn’t choose you; my heart did.”

#5 : “i didn’t plan on falling in love, but i’m glad it happened with you.”

#6 : “in your gaze, i’m found.”

#7 : “where’s my kiss?”

#8 : “you’re betting on this, aren’t you?”

#9 : “i need you to be okay.”

#10 : “stay strong for me, for us.”

#11 : “it doesn’t have to be like this.”

#12 : “keep your eyes on me.”

#13 : “what are we?”

#14 : “thank god you’re safe.”

#15 : “you can lean on me.”

#16 : “you look more than okay.”

#17 : “don’t overdo, don’t overthink.”

#18 : “quit teasing me.”

#19 : “do you want me to hold you?”

#20 : “i love you more than words can describe.”

#21 : “you, of all people? don’t make me laugh.”

#22 : “but friends don’t do the things we do.”

#23 : “you’re getting distracted again, love.”

#24 : “i can’t take my eyes off you.”

#25 : “tell me things you’ve never told anyone else.”

#26 : “please don’t do this to me.”

#27 : “give me your hand.”

#28 : “it’s only you and i.”

#29 : “i didn’t mean what i said.”

#30 : “take a deep breath, will you?”

#31 : “do you trust me?”

#32 : “take a chance on me.”

#33 : “what are you planning?”

#34 : “hurting you is the last thing i wanted to do.”

#35 : “you’re making a mistake.”

#36 : “if you walk away, don’t come back.”

#37 : “what are you so afraid of?”

#38 : “who are you trying to impress?”

#39 : “i didn’t think you’d mess up so horribly.”

#40 : “are you sure that’s how you do it?”

[ ★ SECTION : MOVIE SCENES. ]

#1 : ballroom dance

#2 : candlelit dinner

#3 : umbrella sharing

#4 : beach/ocean escapade

#5 : receiving a love letter

#6 : ferris wheel confession

#7 : family meeting

#8 : midnight stroll

#9 : proposal

#10 : combat training

#11 : them teaching you their craft

#12 : cafe date

#13 : jealousy episode (specify who gets jealous reader or character)

#14 : breakup

#15 : finding out a dark secret

#16 : post-argument

#17 : visiting them at work

#18 : bookstore date

#19 : acknowledging an academic rival

#20 : comforting them after a hard day

#21 : doing their hair

#22 : doing their skincare

#23 : shopping spree

#24 : flashback to childhood

#25 : first time meeting their family member(s)

#26 : them showing you off to their friends

#27 : promposal

#28 : falling asleep on the couch while waiting for their return

#29 : death (specify reader or character)

#30 : first kiss

#31 : unrequited love reveal

#32 : finding out they’re hung up on their past love

#33 : pocky game

#34 : confession failed successfully (specify reader or character)

#35 : locked in a room together

#36 : enemies finding out they’re in love

#37 : rekindling a lost spark

#38 : ex-husband visiting you

#39 : comforting overworked s/o (or reverse, specify)

#40 : first date gone wrong

#yvnaology300.txt ✦ #astronetwrk #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #hsr x you #hsr x y/n #hsr x gender neutral reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #genshin imagines #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin impact x you #genshin x y/n

[gilbirda]

My (subjective) thoughts on how to survive corporate hell while being younger than 30

I'm 27 and I've been working in corporate office job since I was 23 and I have some advice for any youngster out there feeling unsure if they can even make it in office corporate jobs while being younger than 40.

Don't reveal info about yourself. Craft a superficial version of yourself you can share with peers. Pick a hobby or two and repeat the same speech about what you do for fun. Points if you do something people would remember - everyone says sports and/or traveling. Say something original, but safe.

Your company is not your family. You don't owe them a minute more or less than what says in your contract. You are not less if you refuse to work unpaid extra hours. If they demand that of you, get that in writing and take that shit straight to HR.

Know your rights. If you have paid time off, you are entitled to those days off. I'm european so I have a lot of them, and my company is ALWAYS asking me if "I'm sure I can leave my team down for so long". Bitch I can take the days off whenever I want, is my right. The fact that I'm not taking them in the busiest times is a courtesy.

Be careful with what you say. Everyone will be nice, but not everyone is your friend. Some people would sell you for a potato chip, and finding out who would is vital for your survival. (Hint: if someone spills tea about other people to you, they will spill YOUR tea to other people).

Offices are just like high school. Rumors can and will spread like wildfire.

Another "high school" office cliché: cliques. Yes. Same dynamics will form and identifying them will make things easier. My favorite clique to observe is the people that are shooting for the stars and are always around the Biggest Boss licking their shoes. They will also be the first to speak about how a company project improves their personal life because their personal life and work life is one and the same and they ADORE the company.

Being young can play to your advantage. You are fresh and new, and most of the corporate toxic behaviors won't apply to you by default - but Watch Out, they will also underestimate you and dismiss your opinions. Is a constant battle and a delicate dance.

You Will Be Adopted. That's fact. Be quick to learn who exactly is trying to put you under their wing, and if you are comfortable with that dynamic. It mostly depends on what kind of career you want to make in the company - want to climb higher? Stick with the boot lickers (they will introduce you to Important People); want to be up to date with all the gossip? Attach yourself to the Nice Lady Everyone Tell Their Secrets To. Etc.

I cannot stress this enough: Don't say names. On top of everything else in this list, don't say a single name unless you are absolutely sure you are in a safe space. Names have power, and if you complain about someone and say their name, that will have consequences. Maybe that person will learn you are talking shit, or maybe you will unknowingly make a political stance depending on who you are complaining about, maybe you are implying someone is bad at their job.

Don't assume that young people are your friend. This is a tough one I had to learn, but at the end of the day we are all surviving. Other young people will understand you and stick with you, but if an opportunity opens they will take it without saying goodbye. Or they have other priorities and career expectations and just... not be your friend after all. Not because you are also younger than 30 it means you are besties.

You will be bombarded with boomers and gen Xers talking about "the old days" and "how before things were better". That if you "just worked hard enough the company repays you" and such. Ignore them. Corporate job is not what it was, this isn't the old days anymore. Getting in is not as easy and it used to be, the salary doesn't last as much as it used to be and the productivity demanded is higher than ever. Ignore them. Most of them have been pushing buttons for 30 years and wouldn't understand the hellscape the world is becoming in the last 20 years.

You have to accept the reality that none of your 45+ years old coworkers are as qualified as you. The requirements for regular entry level corporate jobs now are insane, and "back in the day" you just had to show up and have a nice smile. Yes, it sucks. Yes, higher ups are the least qualified. Crazy.

Learn how to talk corporate. Learn how to say no, how to set down boundaries, how to politely ask for help. Normal people talk will instantly work against you because you are young. Talk like them and they'll listen.

This got away from me but eh.

Disclaimer this is just based on my experience and my culture - I live in Spain, Europe. I tried to keep this general, but I understand there's a bunch of social dances and understandings that are unique to my culture and may not apply to other people.

I am also autistic and I understand that it affects how I experience social contracts and behaviors.

This is just the bunch of rules I live by and I'm doing my best at surviving. I'm not a corporate rat and if I didn't need money to exist I would definitely quit, but I can't deny I have learned a lot.

If someone has more advice to add please do!

#gil talks #corporate advice #???? #i guess #im rambling #i hope this is useful for anyone out there wondering if they can even survive corporate life #i got away with a bunch of silly stuff #like i had anime face mask during the pandemic and my boss thought they were cute #also i recognize im lucky #my current boss is a very down to earth man who understands that mental health is important and the company is not your family #and he can and will fight for me #so thats cool

[welkinsky]

Hii dear friend, It's me again ♥️😊

I had a new idea about our lovely boys from Boku no Hero.

What do you think about stargazing with them? It's kinda sweet,right? With some comfort and cuddles

♥️♥️

I was thinking on Hawks, Bakugou,Dabi and Kiri

♥️♥️♥️ Thank you

MHA Boys X Reader | Stargazing Date ♥️

Warning: Some Spoilers, You're good if you've seen the latest episodes though. A/N: I know this is probably way too late but I'm trying to balance the new work with the old requests. I hope you like it! <3

Hawks

It is obvious that this guy will know the best location in the town for stargazing.

I can see him going there by himself when he just wants to quiet his mind from all the thoughts of the hero commission or paparazzi or his work.

The place is not accessible to everyone since it is the highest point of a private building so only he or someone who has a flying quirk can get there.

He always thought that he will keep this place his little secret so that when things are bad, he has one place where he can get away from everyone. 

NOW he has you. Naturally, he has the urge to show this place off to you. One day you get a random text from him. "I was wondering if your highness would like to go on a date with a peasant like me?" Obviously, you giggled to yourself and said yes. The fact that even now, he always finds new ways to ask you out makes your heart flutter.

He asked you to meet at your balcony at 6. These dates are the best because you know that he'll fly you both to the date with you in his arms which is one of the best feelings knowing that you are completely safe and happy right now, quite literally flying in the clouds and no one can disturb that.

"Oooh Y/N close your eyes CLOSE YOUR EYES," he said excitingly and you obliged when he asked you to open them, it was one of the prettiest sunsets you have ever seen in your entire life.

Even for him, this was pretty and he fly high every day. You both just sat there for a couple of minutes without saying anything and admiring the view.

You both ended up staying there for the entire night stargazing and had dinner on that rooftop.

His arms were wrapped around you the entire time as your creased his forearms with your hands. You both loved doing this. This was your way of saying "I'm here".

Bakugou

Bakugo is not the type of guy to plan anything cute because HE HAD the idea. But that doesn't mean that he won't seek them from somewhere else heh.

He and the gang were hanging out when Kaminari was talking about this girl who he is taking out and he was asking for ideas for a date. Everyone was giving ideas as Katsuki was silently taking notes of them and one that struck him the most was Stargazing.

He had his eye on you and knew how much you loved the sky in general. He thought to himself that when or IF he ever took you out on a date it has to be a stargazing one. And he went ahead making scenarios about your date and ignoring others.

And the time has finally come when he is actually taking you out. He knew JUST what to do. He asked you to meet at the dorm's back gate. He took you to the storage building that was at the back and entered through a secret door that you never knew even existed.

It felt so scary to do this because it was UA's property and was off-limits for students but as soon as you two reached the top all the worry washed away. You could see the entire city. UA was on top of a hill and this building was quite high so that gave you an even better view.

You two just talked for hours and THAT is when you realized that Kutsuki can be very gentle when there aren't things or people to trigger him. The entire time he was smiling and laughing with you.

It might sound mushy but you loved seeing him more than the night sky and the lit-up city. His smile was just so bright, gentle, and genuine because he wasn't someone who would do something for the sake of doing it.

So you knew he was happy when he was smiling, the cutest thing was that out of habit he'd take a sip from his water bottle and would pass it over to you too and make sure that you were hydrated too. 

When you two came down the building, he gave you his hand everywhere there was a huge step. He knew you were more than capable of taking care of yourself but still couldn't help it.

"Care to explain?" Kaminari said the next day with a smile as he showed you two a picture of you, sitting with your head on his shoulder and hugging his arm closely.

He didn't tell anyone about your date you figured and laughed wholeheartedly when Katsuki was at Kaminari's throat WHILE AT THE SAME time embarrassed and had a slight blush on his face.

"What have you done to him" Kirishima said laughing as he caught Katsuki's blush too.

Dabi

You both came back from a long mission and wanted to see each other as soon as you can because just being in each other's company was enough for you two to get through the day.

You two were not dating officially because of the uncertain path of life that you both had chosen. You were a rogue hero and he was... well DABI.

You two didn't want to put a label on it but LOVED to spend time together as much as you could. You heard that he was back and he did that too about you. Rooftop was a secret spot for you two since the staircase led only from Dabi's room's balcony. And who'd dare to disturb him?

"Rooftop, whenever you get time." you texted him. You got a reply with a picture of him already there waiting for you.

As you climbed up the stairs you could see him sitting limping and not moving at all. You got worried that he might have hurt himself again but to your relief, it wasn't the case.

As you approached him, busy analyzing if there were any burn marks on his body he hugged you, tightly. This has never happened before. At max, he pats you on your head. But he hugged you and said softly, "Just stay"

You obliged. You two stargazed the entire night and shared your pasts brutally honestly. He told you that he saw Shoto today. He thought that when he will see his brother after so long he MIGHT just feel something. Bits of love would have also been good. But all he felt was hatred.

You were the only one keeping him sane and making him feel SOME feelings.

That explained the hug.

Kiri

Kiri is a HUGE planner let's be honest. He plans most of the things that you two do. It's not like he likes to have control over things, he just loves to do them for you and absolutely loves to see your reactions.

And most of the time they go as planned buuut this time nothing was going as planned.

He decided this time to go for a sunset date to this park that had one of the best views of all with loads of flowers. Since villain activities have been on a rise recently security has been so tight.

So students don't usually get permission to go out. And he somehow convinced Aizawa to sign the pass for you two.

And the only problem was that nothing went as he intended it to and after so many tried to make the best out of it things were not going well.

By the time you two came back to UA his usual high spirits were so low that you felt bad for him. After you two went back to your rooms you decided to do something for him.

With a little help from the gang, you set up a cute setup on the rooftop. By the time he came out of the shower, you were all done.

"Meet me at the rooftop" you texted him and as soon as he saw it, everyone went back to their rooms wishing you the best of luck.

When he saw the cute mat with the candles lit and the leftover food that you two never got to eat from the earlier plans all lay beautifully. You could see how emotional he was all of a sudden when he hugged you so tightly.

"Sorry I ruined our day," he said nuzzling into your neck as he hugged you.

"Kiri how could you even say that! It is the efforts that matter to me my love" you said taking his face in your hands. You could see how drained he was.

You two had dinner there while watching a movie and stargazing the entire night. You both did all that he planned for and... ahem more.

_____________________________

Thanks For Reading and for the ask! Here is BNHA Masterlist <3

If you liked it you can check out the masterlist too!

A-Z Headcanon

#hawks x me #hawks x self insert #hawks x oc #hawks x reader #hawks x you #hawks x gender neutral reader #hawks x male reader #hawks oc #hawks bnha #hawks imagine #hawks fluff #kirishima x reader #kirishima x y/n #kirishima x gender neutral reader #kirishima x you #kiri x you #kiri x reader #kirishima fluff #mha kirishima #bnha kirishima #kirishima #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #dabi x me #dabi fanfic #dabi fluff #dabi imagine #dabi fanart #dabi bnha

[princessjojo-x]

ScorpioVenus ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

💝 this is a very complex placement bc it brings complete infidelity, deception, manipulation, secrecy, hypocrisy & confusion. he refuses to become a victim under someone else's control yet he holds an unseen power over others & the ability to completely transform others, which his love interests either run from or succumb to. falling in love with him is like graciously sinking into a man who could either feed you or eat you.

💝 he is very guarded romantically, typically hard to get to know & cautious of new people. he’ll demand to know everything abt you whilst trying to keep as many aspects of his own life hidden. but it’s his mysterious vibe that makes him so magnetic. he’s particularly private abt his love life & intimate details, causing him to keep secrets & tell lies. others may take this personally but this is just his default nature. you must open up to him first so he can feel safe & comfortable enough to be vulnerable with you. but sometimes you may have to just let him have his boundaries & secrets. since he values his own privacy he’ll likely value yours in return; he know the importance of keeping secrets.

💝 often he’ll be instantly aware that he’s attracted to someone but he’s still undecided if she’s supposed to be in his life for the long term, in a deep capacity or for the short term, as a casual acquaintance. since he takes awhile to warm up to people, he tends be intrigued by potential lovers on his own timing, with his own observations & discoveries. he will ask questions, keep tabs, set traps, run trials, etc to observe her responses & reactions. if he truly likes her, he may not be obvious abt it & she may not even know it. but he’ll definitely plot to get her & play the long game until the right moment (when he feels ready to make a move or when an opportunity becomes available). he’s very patient & tactical in this sense, he doesn’t mind to prolong this stage, waiting even years to pounce & taking his time to seduce her, whilst stalking her in the meantime.

💝 he treats people he doesn’t really know, like or care for with a more sweet & sociable approach. he can seem interested in them but that’s actually a sign of disinterest. if he’s being “mean” to a girl, that’s actually an indication he likes her. he will put on a mask, the more he likes her, the more fierce the mask gets. he acts this way to protect himself due to his instinctual fear of rejection & vulnerability. he will try to trigger her by being mean. he will stare at her in a very penetrating & daunting way. this behaviour can make him seem weirdly distant than fiercely intimate. but this is just his way of fantasising, observing, plotting, testing, processing & wanting.

💝 he is very good at tricking his love interest into thinking he doesn’t like her at all. he will literally ignore her, but get upset if she isn’t obsessing over him, whilst he’s ignoring her. he’ll purposely ignore her & look sexy doing it, whilst assuming it will magnetically attract her. he thinks ignoring her will drive her insane & make her obsessed with him. this way he has the upper hand & is in control, taking away her ability to possibly hurt him. he will try to keep her engaged in a constant chase of cat & mouse. he will be back & fourth from completely obsessed to totally not interested. he’ll go from making her feel like the most wanted & adored person ever to completely & deliberately pulling back from her. its like a permanent limbo from all in to all out. this hot & cold behaviour is caused by his needs to cool off from the intense feelings. he’s giving a little just enough to stimulate his appetite bc it's overwhelming to give a lot all at once. his numerous manipulation tactics are clearly self-destructive bc it pushes potential partners away from him. he needs a partner who is patient or unbothered enough to stay around despite his never ending mind games.

💝 with scorpio placements, everything is a power play. if you’re reacting, you’re giving him power, so just detach & ignore it. when he is being dismissive & giving the cold shoulder, it can feel confusing. some find it rude & selfish. some find it enticing & mysterious. but the depressing truth behind his mysterious vibe is that he tends to repel intimate moments out of fear. it’s not ignorance. it’s affliction. he experiences intense feelings which make him feel overwhelmed so he represses his emotions. he loves so deeply & he’s so frightened of the depth of his love, yet he simultaneously has a desire for intimacy, which he believes he’ll never have, which he feels even more terrified of when he gets close to having it, for fear of losing it, so he represses it & shies away from it. he’s not looking to get attached right off the bat bc he has a fear of losing himself in connections & his heart losing control. he perceives love as giving someone the power to hurt him. rxships can cause him intense transformations & painful experiences. he is not open to deep intimacy bc of trust issues so he keeps feeding toxicity instead. he has a fear of connecting with people to then be betrayed or let down. often the people he loves eventually abandon him, get to find someone they love only to have that person abandon them through death, separation, infidelity or otherwise.

💝 he can be very indulgent in rxships. for example, wanting an open-rxship, avoiding labels, entertaining on-&-off situatioships & even cheating. he can be commitment-phobic (similar to aquarius venus) bc deep down he’s very hedonistic (committed to seeking pleasure) meaning he wants to explore his sexuality.

💝 liking a good challenge is usually associated with aries but it’s actually more of a scorpio trait. scorpio placements are very aware of all the hardships & challenges they have accomplished & endured. they’re not afraid of going through hell & back. that doesn’t mean they like hardships; it means they love the feeling of surviving it & they take a lot of pride in that. often, he looks at a choice & chooses to go down the harder & scarier route due to his yearn for a good challenge. this is why he’s most attracted women whom are hard to get, allowing him to chase (challenge). sometimes, out of spite, he may marry a woman who doesn’t even deem him as her type (challenge). he has a tendency of falling in love with toxic women that hurt him or an aloof woman that dgaf abt him (challenge). he may cheat on his partner not bc its easy but bc it’s hard (challenge). he craves the tease & hunger of desire (challenge. he may feel rxships are only meaningful if there terbulent & painful (challenge). despite him being possessive himself, he may not want this energy reciprocated. it’s as if he wants someone who won’t put him through the horrors of rejection but won’t put him through the torture of mutual acceptance, love & trust either bc it’s safer this way after all. he may fall for players who won’t reciprocate his intensity & devotion but will still stick around after he has confessed his love (challenge). he will even enjoy toying with jealousy. jealousy is scary bc it could threaten a rxship. since he’s scared of jealousy, he uses it as a toy. he experiments with scenarios where jealousy can feel less like danger & more like arousal (challenge). he has a tendancy to maginify small issues leading to unnecessary conflicts bc an intimate rxship that is too peaceful bores him, similar to aries venus in this sense (challenge).

💝 however, he often pursues woman whom he has a very mild attraction to. you wouldn’t expect this from such an intense person. he does this bc he hates being under someone else’s control. when hes truly in love he feels like he has no control over himself so he seeks out women whom he doesn’t love deeply. this way he remains in complete control of himself & his partner.

💝 he demands to beloved & preaches abt honestly yet he does the complete opposite. it’s not uncommon for him to get into rxship without being completely devoted. he will put his partner through many trial runs & expect her to surrender to his feet. he needs to know she feels or is capable of feeling as intensely as he does before he lets his guard down. it’s only at this stage will he give her his heart & become completely loyal. if not, he’ll secretly cheat on her as revenge as she’s not trusted enough.

💝 he is stereotyped as an intense & devoted lover even though he can be a player, serial dater & a cheater. he may channel a lot of intensity sexually whilst remaining emotionally casual & unavailable. but this isn’t actually how he wants to act deep down bc this behaviour rarely satisfies his deeper needs. he undoubtedly keeps himself very guarded & it does take a lot of convincing to get him to completely commit. he takes along time to determine whether or not to trust someone with his heart. but once you prove yourself worthy & get past his protections, there is surprisingly a deeply romantic & soft individual you wouldn’t expect to find underneath the sometimes intimidating scorpio shell. he is a passionate & loyal partner who loves carefully & slowly but intensely & completely. once invested, he is entirely, whole-heartedly in, so he’s got to be careful. in this sense, he is similar to his sister sign, taurus venus.

💝 expect a lot of jealous & possessive behaviour once he’s fallen in love with you. for example, showing up to places that you are. he maybe interested in having a a stay-at-home wife due to his possessive & paranoid nature. he doesn’t want anyone too see his partner (opposite to leo venus) & knowing his partner is always at home is comforting to him (opposite to aries venus).

💝 once you’ve earned his commitment & he’s locked in with you, he’s here for the long run. in fact, all fixed venus signs stay in rxships even if it doesn’t serve them. they love the familiarity & security the rxship provides. they fear the idea of having to start over from scratch.

💝 since venus is uncomfortable in scorpio, he may be quite shy or insecure. he may pride himself on not asking for much, even if he wants more.

💝 he may struggle with addiction (many scorpio placements do) bc he enjoys indulging in pleasures & being in altered states of consciousness. also, there’s defo a link between scorpio placements & smoking. they either smoke themselves or they’re obsessed with the imagery of others smoking.

💝 if his partner toys with his emotions, she will end up on the receiving end of his stinger! once harmed, he finds it hard to forgive & forget.

Turn On’s:

💝 he’s fasinated by a quiet & mysterious woman whom is hard to read & decipher. she has mastered the art of keeping to herself & she holds a lot of secrets which intrigues him. it’s important to him that she knows when to open up & when to not. she has a bubbling energy of intensity which isn’t so obvious physically but felt internally. “still waters run deep” vybz.

💝 however, once he begins to romantically pursue her, he wants an honest & straightforward response from her. he wants her to show him & tell him that she’s interested. this will make him feel safe & secure to let down his guard further.

💝 he perceives seduction as manipulation so it’s best to let him seduce you instead of you seducing him.

💝 you must prove yourself worthy first but you wont achieve that by doing the most bc his love cannot be be brought or forced. the key to his heart is honesty & transparency bc that promises depth & passion. he wants to see the real you & he wants to show you the real him. he falls in love with the imperfections, rawness & transparency of somebody. he’s the epitome of “i know you aren’t perfect & i see all your flaws but i think that’s beautiful & i’m still here for you”. he doesn’t care for anything thats without flaw bc he know thats not real & he values authenticity.

💝 he is drawn to your darkness bc he can relate to darkness so don’t be scared to shown him your dark side. he wants to know all the dirt you’re ashamed of. the more messy, the more attracted he becomes. he may perceive mean or bad people as more real, genuine, deep & therefore more attractive. after all, he has a dare devil spirit so he’s intensely drawn to what seems unlovable & forbidden. he loves taboo things & a woman who can handle this. the more danger equals the more temptation so replace pinks with reds & blacks. he also he possess a "let me protect you from all the hurt & evil" complex so often falls for either women with a villain vibe (intimidating, dark & dominant with a repressed soft side) or women with a victim vibe (soft & vulnerable crybabies). he may believe good girls will run away when he takes his mask off. but bad girls will be able to handle him.

💝 loyalty, unwavering commitment & deep/sincere connection is most important to him. he literally wants to deeply merge with his partner show him that his enemies are your enemies. look into his eyes & don’t turn away until he does. lock away his secrets. breathe into him.

💝 before diving into commitment he needs to know he’ll be sexually compatible with you so ensure to bring out your kinky side & fulfill him sexually. due to his love of power plays, he may enjoy giving or receiving head more than sex itself.

💝 any woman stepping into his lair best be well prepared bc he requires a lot of drama & emotional excitement in his love life. he feels alive when surrounded by passion & he needs intensity at all times.

💝 to impress him wear: dark, edgy clothing (eg kourt k after meeting travis barker). possibly oversized & comfortable to keep the mystery of what’s underneath. he enjoys the feeling of being the only one who gets to see your body since scorpio is possessive. look powerful & strong. black lace, mesh, leather & a bold, red lip, dark circles around the eyes. he loves all black bc it honours the shadow self (dark side).

💝 however, for him, it’s less abt what you look like & more abt how you carry yourself. in-fact, often he has unattractive partners bc he’s attracted to sex appeal & depth instead of to classic beauty. he likes partners that scare him a little or just have a more intimidating presence. he loves a mysterious & complex women with a very dark personality/aesthetic bc he tends to get bored of his rxships once the passion dies (similar to aries venus).

💝 his ideal lover would have a water sign sun, moon or asc.

Turn Off’s:

💝 stagnant, unfaithful, dishonest, apathetic, attention-seeking women.

💝 if you make him compete for your attention bc he resents seeing his person of interest flirt & mess around with other people, especially if he feels like you're doing it on purpose. scorpio placements do have abandonment issues so he wants to feel needed whilst respecting his boundaries.

💝 ignoring & ghosting him, making him feel left out & unwanted, refusing to take his feelings into account & not apologising for your actions. (that goes for all water venus).

💝 superficial encounters or small talk.

#astrology #astro notes #scorpio #scorpio venus #venus signs

[armpirate]

Soundleasure | Choi San || CH. 12

Pairings: Soft!San x fem!reader || Strangers to lovers, fake dating

Genre: smut, angst, fluff, online sex, ghosting

Warnings: inexperienced!San, fem!reader, masturbation, online sex, camboy, first times.

Summary: You can do whatever you please and be whoever you want on the Internet. And San knew that a little bit too well.

After finally following all the signs the universe was throwing at him, he started living a double life that no one was aware of. Everyone in his daily life knew him as Choi San, the reserved and quiet boy who wouldn't raise his voice, and would barely communicate with anyone outside of his comfort group. But only a few knew him as Soundleasure, the man with a sexy voice and a filthy mind that had their toes curling just with his narrations.

He never thought of the possibility of those two lives ever meeting, he had always tried for them to follow a parallel route and had always played safe to keep his friends from ever suspecting that side even existed. But his plans will start to crumble when he gets a little too close with one of his subscribers and she invades his real-self and altergo's universes without being able to stop it.

Y/n will not only help him to keep his secret from his circle, but will also show him there's more of Soundleasure in him than he'd like to admit. 

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 14 minutes

San looked so determined when he said he'd find a nice place to eat, just to end up regretting it five minutes later when they arrived at the restaurant area and he found himself struggling to find the place that could adapt to her the most. It wasn't like there were a lot of restaurants, which probably made it even harder for him to pick the right one.

—Um —he thought out loud—. There isn't much to choose from.

—It's alright. Let's just go wherever you want —she shrugged.

Seeing his eyes moving to the four open restaurants was a quite new experience for her. She was convinced he probably would've found the best place to eat in less than a second if he had been by himself, but his hesitation was more connected to the way he wanted to have her also enjoying her food.

—What are you craving? —San turned to her.

—Hmm... That Mexican restaurant looks pretty good.

—Let's go, then.

Her thoughts started to sound weird when she internally started praising San for such a small gesture as to having consideration for what she wanted, and she realized the type of men she had been seeing ever since she broke up with her ex boyfriend to be thinking that his attitude was one of a kind and deserving of the amount of praise she was throwing his way.

After they reached their table, she could almost touch his nervousness in front of her. It was like one thick brick around him, and that also limited a lot of his actions and words.

—You know you can relax, right? —she joked, looking at him over the menu.

—I'm relaxed —he sighed.

—No, you're not —her eyes slowly went back to the plastified paper in front of her—. You don't need to impress me, so you can calm down.

His body stopped to slightly bounce with the constant movements of his legs, fixing his eyes on her and completely ignoring the menu he was holding.

—You're not being tested, and I'm not here to judge you, just feel free to behave however you want —she shrugged, leaving the menu back on the table—. Just treat me as a friend. Would that make you more comfortable?

—I think so —he slowly nodded.

—You need to take it easy. Relax —the way she moved her hands made it seem as if she was taking something invisible off her shoulders—. I have enough with having people look like their balls are being stepped on when I'm walking by at work.

—Yikes, that sounds... —he grimaced just at the mere thought of it— hurtful.

—Uh-hum. I'm a heel on a ball.

Her humor was so random, and weird, that it instantly made him feel better at his own self. She wasn't scared of being open with that side of her, she was already doing more than asked to make it as easy for him, it was just fair he tried to do the same thing.

—I don't think you're a heel on a ball, more like a kick.

Maybe he tried a little too much.

Y/n stopped, lifting her eyes back to him, only to blurt out a chuckle at his comment and how nervous he looked after.

—I mean it because it's less painful, not because I think you're like a kick on the balls. Although, it's not like I know what it's like to be stepped on...

—You're doing it again —her eyebrows raised with her warning.

—Sorry.

Her gaze intensified with his apology, warning him without saying a word.

—So, I guess life at work didn't change? —he brought up, trying to reconnect the light-hearted conversation with something they could actually talk about.

—Well, it got slightly worse —her head quickly tilted, squirming just at the thought of the environment in her office—. There was a ramp down recently, and teams had to choose two people to fire them. Except mine, because I chose to earn less, so part of my salary would go to those two people, only for them to look at me as if I were the devil —she commented on the side.

—For what? You took a decision no one else would've taken.

—They don't know I did that, so they just think I kept my whole team because I'm the boss' daughter —she finally added—. It's alright though. I didn't do it for people to praise me for it.

—Honestly... After seeing my father getting kicked out of his position for a similar situation, your choice should be recognized —he softly said—. Not a lot of people would choose sympathy over greediness. It just shows off the kind of person that you are.

San seemed so genuine while he said those words, that Y/n couldn't help but smile, feeling full and proud of herself after receiving that praise from someone else that wasn't her own self while looking in the mirror.

It felt so different.

—What about you? How's your master going?

—It's going well —he puckered his lips, trying to think of something to be able to fill up the conversation naturally the same way she did—. Yeah... I bet you already know what it is like.

—Well, it's not really the same —she giggled—. Is that teacher still being an asshole to you?

—He seems to have a radar —he finally let out—. And if someone didn't send me texts only when I'm with him...

—Are you blaming me? —she pointed at herself, faking offense— If you need to answer one of my texts that fast, even during that class, it's because you want to talk to me really bad —and that was a checkmate—. Am I wrong?

His lips started moving nervously, stuttering the words before he was able to say them. Of course he wanted to talk to her, of course he was willing to take any chance to keep talking to her, but wasn't it too much to admit it just like that?

—May I take your order?

Saved by the bell.

While San rushed to shift his attention from her to the waiter, Y/n smiled at him, shaking her head lightly.

There was something so funny about making him so nervous.

—You're so different —she thought out loud, after the waiter left with their command.

—What?

—I wouldn't have expected you to be like this when we first talked —Y/n continued.

—Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

—Good —she quickly nodded—. I like this version much better than the Soundleasure one —she admitted.

—You do?

—It's different —her lips puckered while she approved what she had just said—. The person on those videos seems like a whole different you, you're more approachable than you might seem.

—I guess it's what you can call a character? —he doubted— Soundleasure doesn't have any limits or real problems, no struggles, no insecurities —he smiled down—. He just has to be there and put on a sexy voice. And I'm just... me.

—Hey! It's so hard to be just you —she joked.

While he smiled and looked at her, San wondered if it'd have been like that between them even if he hadn't stopped talking to her all of a sudden.

—I'm sorry —she looked confused at those two words—. I shouldn't have ghosted you. I guess I was intimidated and scared of what you'd think of me, and ran away instead of giving you an explanation.

—Hmm... Did I look that out of reach? —her eyebrow raised— It's alright —her tone turned softer with those words—. Just... next time... try talking it out before running away —she asked—. Honestly, I was kinda intimidated, too.

—You? No shit.

—Yes shit —she nodded—. I guess it's normal. You connect with someone online, hit it off, and then you wonder if it'd have been the same if you had met in person. Or if the chemistry is real and not just a projection of what you want on those texts and calls. I guess that's why I wanted us to meet.

—I guess we could try to still be in contact after all of this ends.

—I guess so —she agreed.

The rest of the lunch went by in such a comfortable and carefree environment, that San felt free to let go of the pressure a bit more with each passing minute. Talking with Y/n was easy. It didn't matter if it was through a screen or face to face, he just loved how he could be himself with her without worrying about anything else.

At least until the time to pay the bill arrived.

She looked nervous, and uneasy, looking one way and the other, moving on her seat nervously while they waited to pay for the food.

At first he thought it could possibly be because she didn't want him to pay, or because she felt bad about the price of the food they ate, but she was still in that uneasy state even after they left the restaurant.

Her hand quickly hooked on his wrist, dragging him out of the restaurant area to take him back to the shops.

—Where are we going?

—We can't be here —she whispered.

—Why not? You're acting as if I hadn't paid for the food —he looked confused.

Y/n was about to answer what he asked, but her words got stuck in her throat when she saw her father walking to the place where they were at, forcing her to quickly push San towards the bathroom corridor and hide as they stayed glued to the wall.

—What's going on?

—My father's here.

—What?

The way he asked with a high-pitched tone, making most of the people coming or getting out of the restrooms made her grimace, placing her index over her lips to ask him to stay quiet.

—My assistant told him I left early, and he called me. I thought that by saying I was with you, he'd decide to leave me alone. But he thought now was the best time to meet you, and now we're hiding from him because I need you to change your clothes before you meet him.

She stepped back, aware of his confused look mixed with the glimpses of scare.

—Sorry.

Her hand dragged his hood over his head, hiding his face before she pushed him towards the male restrooms.

—Y/n?

She stood straight at the thick voice of her father, finally aware of the way he was looking at her when he noticed where she was.

—The female's bathroom is on the other side.

—I know —she quickly nodded—. It's just that San needed to go to the restroom.

—And you were planning on going with him —his thick eyebrow raised.

—No, of course not.

—Why don't we wait for him in the cafe?

—Hmm, you go. I'll stay here —she tried to encourage him.

—Your boyfriend won't escape —his fingers gently hooked around her elbow—. Let's go.

That was exactly what she was afraid of, that San would sneakily escape, impulsed by the pressure.

After they took a seat in one of the cafes, back in the restaurant area, she made sure to let San know where they were, so he'd be able to find them once he got out of the restroom. And her father just waited for her to leave the phone aside to engage in a conversation with her, which was always related to the same thing: the company. It varied from what happened throughout the day, future projects, or gossip in the office, but it was always centered in that office she spent most of her day at.

It wasn't like she cared much about it in any way. What were they supposed to talk about? They both worked in the same place, they both saw each other every single day. There wasn't much to talk about other than that.

Her part of the conversation got interrupted suddenly, with the words slowly losing their power as soon as she looked up at the door of the establishment.

San's figure looked even better from afar with that outfit. She was surprised by how marked his waist was, with the black shirt tucked in inside his pants and secured with the black leather belt that fitted it all. But more importantly, she was surprised to see him walking over there with determination, taking his time before he stopped behind her father.

—Babe —Y/n excitedly called him.

Her father quickly turned to the man behind him as Y/n got up from her place to wrap her arm around his, gluing their bodies together.

—You wanted to meet him, and he's here —she cheered relieved—. This is San, my boyfriend. And this is my father —Y/n pointed at the old man, who didn't even make the attempt to get up from his seat—: Harry...

—Mister Y/s for you, though —he interrupted Y/n, quickly making clear how San should refer to him.

—Of course —San nodded— Nice to meet you, sir.

—Come on —she whispered, patting his upper arm to get him to take the seat next to hers.

Although he tried to adopt that mature and confident aura Y/n had hinted at while they were shopping, his real self was slowly coming through as the environment got thicker under the exigent look that was coming from the man's dark eyes.

—So, you're the famous San —he thought out loud, scanning the young man in front of him—. My daughter kept you from me like a secret. It's almost like you came out of nowhere

—Really? —he nervously laughed— It does look like it, doesn't it? —he mumbled.

—It's not that —she quickly added—. You know how private I've always been. That's why it seems like it came out of nowhere —she smiled.

—So... —her father tried to redirect the conversation somewhere else— Y/n told me you specialized in computer engineering.

—Yeah, I'm finishing the masters this year.

—But my daughter told me you were already working as such.

Y/n's face quickly distorted, pressing her lips tight and furrowing her eyebrows when she assumed they were already caught on their lies.

It lasted more than she'd have expected.

—I did, of course —San tried to get some control back—. I graduated, then started working, and then thought it'd be better to perfectionate my career. So I started a Master's program, right? —he tried to look at Y/n for support— But it's getting tough, so I left the company I was working at just last week. That's why Y/n didn't know.

—So you don't tell my daughter everything?

—Hmm...

—He told me, but I forgot —Y/n seconded, trying to save him—. Silly boy, don't you remember you told me the other night?

—Ah, ye... yeah. That's right! —he was desperately trying to keep up with the conversation—. I've been so busy and stressed lately that my head is a mess.

—Yet you still have time to see my daughter —his dark eyes moved between Y/n and San, unaware of how each of their features broke as each second went by—. That's really important. My girl deserves to be dedicated twenty five hours out of twenty four.

San could feel the weight on his shoulder slowly being lifted as he saw her father smiling widely, happy with the improvised answer he had just come up with.

—She's just as busy, actually. Always closed in that damned office. So it's good to see she's met someone that would understand her lifestyle, but would also push her out of it.

Y/n's smile turned more genuine and relaxed with every new word her father let out, praising San for his attitude towards her.

—So how did you two meet?

—A dat... hmm! —he held back the painful moan that was about to come out when her fingers pinched his side, right on his ribs.

—A blind date —she nodded—. We have a friend in common, so yeah. We kinda kicked off like that.

—Yeah, it was love at first sight —San tried to add.

—Was it? My daughter has always been quite adamant to that idea —his chuckle almost made San panic again.

—It was different with him —she tried to save face—. You know what you've always said about feeling butterflies in your stomach and light music playing in the background when you met mom? It was something similar.

—Huh —her father's smile went wide again—. So, tell me about you, San.

—About me? I don't have much to tell about myself.

And while it seemed like he did have things to tell about himself, the conversation quickly shifted from what was he aspiring to do in his future to the last match of the Patriots. Something that was supposed to be a meeting to give his approval to her new boyfriend, turned into a Patriots fan meeting to discuss several many things she didn't care about.

—Finally someone with good taste —her father cheered—. My daughter always goes for the New York Giants.

—Really? —San seemed so natural in his reaction, that she wondered at what moment he broke character, comfortable enough to be himself— How can you not support the Patriots?

Something she couldn't argue about: football. Her eyes instantly threw daggers at him when he even attempted to start the teasing.

—They're a good choice, too —San tried to get her glare to soften at him.

—I have an idea —her father quickly.

—No, you don't —Y/n tried to stop him, almost as if she were reading his mind.

—I'll host a barbecue this weekend with some friends, why don't you come?

—I'd love to —San rushed to answer, leaving Y/n with her lips parted as she unsuccessfully tried to come up with an excuse.

—Fine, then I'll be waiting for you two —he shifted his gaze to Y/n—. I'll prepare your favorite dessert.

She knew what it meant: she wasn't allowed to make up any excuses not to go.

Shortly after, her father left with an urgent phone call that was going to draw him back to the office, not before reminding San that he'd be waiting for him.

—He liked me, right? —San said excitedly.

Without answering, Y/n hit his upper arm, taking him by surprise.

—What?

—You were supposed to meet him today, and not see him again —she whined—. Why did you say that you'd go?

—I thought it'd have looked bad if I had said I wouldn't —he tried to defend himself.

Y/n huffed, knowing he was right, but also frustrated because she kept thinking declining it would've been the best idea.

—We could tell him something came up?

—That wouldn't work out —she pouted, puckering her lips before she turned to him again—. Why did you have to start talking about football?

—I wanted to sell off that confident facade. And I only thought I'd be able to pull it out that way —he tried to justify himself.

Now they were in deeper trouble. Y/n knew how important those barbecues were, and how it meant more than just watching an innocent football match on the big TV of her parents' house. It also meant building bridges of trust and intimacy with some of the partners her father always worked with. 

#armpirate #choi san smut #choisansmut #ateez #ateezfanfic #ateezff #ateezimagines #ateezsmut #ateezxreader #atiny #choi #choisan #choisanateez #choisanfanfic #choisanxreader #ff #onlinesex #reader #readerinsert #san #sanateez #sanxreader #smut

[azrielgreen]

Do you ever worry that writing dead dove fic could negatively impact your writing career in the future? I'm kind of struggling with this, I've seen so many authors careers ruined by doing much less "problematic" things than writing non-con in a fic. I'd be devastated if by some miracle I managed to write a book that actually got popular just to be canceled by someone digging up my fanfic. From what I've seen the book community is even more harsh than fandom, there's no nuance or room for discussion whatsoever, when the hammer falls that's it and no one wants to be seen as being on the wrong side so they won't read your book. I don't want to limit myself creatively or have to be secretive and paranoid, I'm here to make friends, but I also don't want to shoot myself in the foot. I'm just curious if you've thought about how you'd handle a situation like that.

This is a really sad way of looking at things and I'm really sorry that the absolute state of fandom has people feeling so down and so heavily policed.

I don't ever worry about this.

One of the first messages I ever got about 'You're Divine' was someone telling me that it meant so much to them that I was open about who I am and upfront about writing fic because it made them believe one day a fanfic writer might break into the publishing industry.

There are THOUSANDS of professional writers who also write fanfic, many who are very open about it. I will be one of them.

This Dead Dove "Panic" isn't new, it comes and goes. This discourse is old as shit and just about as interesting to anyone except the people who are eagerly learning puritanical ways to bully and harass.

I always write for myself. I write what I want, how i want and I will share that with the people who want to read for it for as long as I can. I will content warn and create as many safe barriers for readers as I can. I will always write with empathy and nuance and authentic curiosity and i will always stay open to the changes i can make to be more open minded, more inclusive, to broaden my horizons and explore with an open heart.

I will not censor myself.

I will not stand on a pedestal and loudly decry others to detract attention from myself and my own works.

I will not stand for bullying and I will NOT quieten my literary voice because there are those who think that depicting rape is endorsing rape. I won't bow to those who seek to remove the context every single time and I will never bow to purity culture.

If I sell 10 books in my life, I'll know that's 10 people who really wanted to read my work and they did. That's amazing to me.

I have nothing but respect for those who choose to shield their identity, who write with pseuds, who protect themselves.

But if I can make one fucking person feel better about themselves and their interests, about writing darker material... if i can make ONE person feel unashamed and confident enough to write what they want to, then that'll be worth everything.

I'm always going to write what I want and publishing will be the same. I have no intention of watering myself down for mainstream approval.

The literary world cannot be made up of only ONE type of story. It cannot be censored. It must not be purified and sanctified. Some stories are ugly. Shocking. Horrifying. Brutal. Provocative. The expanse of human emotion of vast and complex. As humans, we sometimes have a need to experience complex, ugly emotions within a framed narrative of safety. We read and we write for so much MORE than moral virtue signalling. It's tiring to see some of the most important stories being blanket labelled as "problematic" just for existing. To see people ignore warnings and context and thoughtlessly embodying the modern puritan.

I'll never stop being who I am and writing for myself. Everything else is secondary. Once you start writing for other people, bowing to purity culture, diluting yourself... it's already over.

Fuck that.

Love, Az.

💜💜💜

#askaz

[el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle]

Watching the episode of the morning after Betty's bd made me realize that I really like Betty and Aura María's friendship. They're opposite and compliment each other very well. Aura Maria is audacious and straightforward, loud and unfiltered, and won't hesitate to risk her own skin for Betty. Betty, on the other hand, is calmer, much more discreet, and thinks it through a lot more before getting her claws out as to do it in the mot efficient way possible (through her influence with Armando, most of the time). She's also reluctant to go out there due to past experiences, and Aura Maria gives her the push she needs.

AM is also Betty's confidant. Sure, Nicolás is too, but there's something so nice and beautiful and magical about sharing your biggest happiness and secrets with your girl bestie that, although I mean no disrespect to guys, it's simply not the same with guys. There's simply not this female shared experience. She also never revealed anything Betty told her. AM is very unfiltered, and won't even think it before basically yelling in the hallways any sort of detail that most people would consider private (ex. When Freddy had to stop her multiple times every time she started talking about their intimacy the night before), and yet she knows this is Betty's privacy and didn't even allude to it to the rest of the Cuartel.

She gives Betty relationship advice and no doubt gave her the confidence to try the grounds with Armando to see if he wanted her as well. The simple fact that she tried speaks volumes of her confidence increase, which I don't doubt was also a bit of influence from AM (ex. The whole chat about how if [Betty and her bf] both loved each other it was natural for them to be attraction and that Betty should take the first step)

In addition, it wasn't until this rewatch that I noticed that AM is the only one who doesn't diminish Betty for her appearence. Just look at the opening sequence again. Everyone looks at her with disgust, except Aura Maria. She invited her to a double date and made sure to take her home safe. She tried to encourage her to be more open and to be more forward with the dude from the date, and even advised her on how to improve her appearence (taking off Betty's scarf, for example) and her flirting. Sure, it wasn't the best of advices, but AM told her what had worked for her and genuinely wanted to help her.

In the Letter episode (where I'm currently at in my rewatch after years of neglecting the novela lmao), you can see Aura María's face and she truly looks worried and distressed for Betty.

Overall, I would have loved to see more of their friendship before th Change!

((i know it may seem like I hate AM based on my previous posts, but no, I just dislike how she handled her relationship and how much she ignores her responsibilities. She's actually the best friend from the Cuartel that Betty has, and she's definitely the kind of friend that will encourage you to talk to your crush and help you get pretty for a date and tell you the greatest gossips and overall you'd have a fun time going out with her! In other words: she's an amazing friend and I like that aspect of her))

#ysblf #yo soy betty la fea #betty la fea #beatriz pinzon solano #armando mendoza #beatriz pinzón solano #aura maria ysblf #aura maria fuentes

[space-blue]

What do you think about Arcane's politics in general? Do you feel like it pulled its punches in depicting the council's cruelty against the undercity? Or that there was an imbalance in how topsiders' cruelty vs zaunites' cruelty were portrayed? Like, on one hand, they do explicitly show enforcers massacring rebels and abusing undercity citizens on orders from the council. Silco also mentions that topside had zaunites working in toxic mines with unbreathable air that literally clogged their throats, and apparently they were explicitly restricted from using the hexgates (as Silco had to demand it in a deal with Jayce) which is another way to keep them down.

But then we also get these moments where it feels like they pulled back a bit, such as dialogue that portrays topside's crimes as just "neglect" and "ignorance" instead of like. Active and malicious steps taken to brutally oppress people and carefully maintain that oppression. Understandably more screentime was given to characters like Heimerdinger and Jayce compared to other councillors, as they are game champions. But then we have this imbalance where most major topside characters are those who just "didn't know" and "weren't aware about how bad the oppression was", they simply needed to go down there and open their eyes and now they're graciously trying to do good.

Which is all well and good, but... what of the councillors who KNEW of the horrible conditions of zaun as they themselves worked to create them? All the oppressive legislation had to come from somewhere and someone right? The horrible mines Vander and Silco's generation endured, laws restricting them from the same economic privileges topside gets, and of course the murder of zaunites by enforcers, ordered directly by councillors. The last one in particular is strangely brushed under the rug in pivotal moments, like Vi entering a Councillor's home and just? Laying in bed? No disgust or anger that she's in the home of the same people who ordered her parents to be killed? She IS aware that enforcers' violence is sanctioned by the council right? As well as Ekko inviting Heimerdinger, the ex-ruler of the city, into his secret safe haven, no animosity at all, even though there was plenty aimed at Caitlyn.

I can understand they wanted an approach of every main character having shades of gray, and giving attention to councillors who intentionally took action to oppress zaun would cut into valuable screentime, and those straight up evil people are simply not the type of characters Arcane is interested in exploring. But maybe they still could have had zaunites react a bit more realistically towards these councillors, so it doesn't suddenly feel like they pulled their punches.

What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you Anon! First off I must say this is a fantastic ask, and I think you and I see eye to eye on most of this. Sorry for the delayed response, I didn't often have enough spoons to finish the reply.

I'm going to answer this as someone who has read the wiki broadly and knows almost nothing about the game lore and other game-only characters.

I think everything is Piltover's fault.

You have it correct in your depiction of the Zaun/Piltover divide, but I think you can go even further. Arcane is a story of intergenerational trauma, how it gets passed down like a curse... But this trauma is born from the violence of their situation, and that is entirely created by Piltover's oppression of Zaun.

The furthest back we see for our characters is Vander drowning Silco in the Pilt, full of chemicals that leave him disabled and disfigured. We know from dialogue and the show events that they were oppressed then, that they fought for liberation, and that Vander betrayed Silco and ended up having some (rather vague) power in Zaun.

The city is poluted. The people are struggling to rebel and gain independence... And our desperate characters turn violently on each other, setting the stage for the decades to come, with more death, more violence, more desperation.

That entire set up is due to Zaun being under the boot of Piltover. If Zaun were an independent nation, they could blame themselves for (most) of it. But they are a pretty dire depiction of colonialism instead. If Zaun was doing as well as Piltover, Silco would be a fine businessman, friendly, driven, maybe smitten with the gentle barman Vander, who only punches in his boxing classes.

The entire show depends on Piltover being the worst, and keeping Zaunites' heads under water.

They have deals to keep Zaunites away from Piltover, with Vander enforcing it. They have a complete hold on commerce with the bridges as chokepoints. They export all their polluting industry there. Clearly they control the wages, and the very solid glass ceiling of social advancement. Viktor, after all, is terribly aware that he'll never go further unless he breaks the rules. His Zaunite origins are a shackle.

I personally was very impressed with the show for going that way. But You got it. I think they wanted to have their cake and eat it. They made Piltover's oppression real and awful... I mean that shot of them ordering the city be choked further? Despite the Sheriff's protests?

And sure, Heimerdinger isn't in that picture, but he can't always be absent from Council asshole moments, since he's been on the Council from its inception.

In my humble opinion Heimerdinger is the biggest asshole of Arcane. Sits on the Council while it destroys Zaun for profit, ignores the political situation in favour of being a clueless arts and science enjoyer, out of touch with 99% of his constituents as he fails to perceive they live drastically different lives from him (or fails to understand why that matters, leading to Viktor's radicalization and Jayce's takeover).

But worst of all he crosses the river, realises how bad things are (probably has no idea too, because a trip to the seedy part of town would not reveal the depth of destitution and systematic abuse rampant there), and thinks he's 'not welcome' because his attempt at "fixing things" aren't welcomed. BRO, the only thing you tried to fix was making a girl smile with a TOUPEE MAGIC TRICK.

He's detatched from reality. He IMMEDIATELY gives up. It made me incredibly mad that Ekko was stripped of his identity and class consciousness to suck on his furry cock for The Joy Of Science. Like hell no. Heimerdinger needs to be put in a burlap bag and drowned in the Pilt for centuries of crime against humanity.

So yeah, they wanted to show a place in deep trouble due to oppression, but they also wanted some of the oppressors to be UwU blorbos who don't deserve hate because they try so hard and they actually have a kind heart... Just like with Cait and Vi's relationship, I feel like it's due to rushing things. The show is nearly perfect, but it sure could have used an extra episode, or since it already has a second season greenlit, could have kept councillors as Antagonists for longer. We understand asshole rich people. We could understand Heimer with his head in the sand and disconection to mortals. We could forgive a lot if they went through a proper arc. But making toupees and gushing about science with Ekko isn't character development.

I feel like the Firelights were shoehorned not for complexity or to show a divided Zaun, but to give the viewers 'good Zaunites' to root for, so they could switch Silco into a villain.

Sadly anyone with critical thinking will realise that Silco is the one who obtained freedom for Zaun (no matter if he squanders it as he dies), and the one who has been working hard to make it a richer place. It's not just the chembarons. Like the episode after the timeskip literally shows us a montage of this new Zaun. And sure shimmer is a part of it, but shimmer is also shown to be a GOOD thing in places, a FUN one in others, and it's far from being the only weird/amoral thing Zaunites use or indulge in. Silco isn't a morally good guy, but his goals are good for the whole of Zaun, and he's the one who gets what he wants in the end and could have ended the oppression he dedicated his entire life to fighting.

Meanwhile the Firelights are a haven against shimmer, but they're a ONE tree house worth of people. They have no plan for Zaun. They actively attack and hinder the one guy who'll ultimately win THEIR OWN FREEDOM. Yeah, it's divided, and that's great! I love all of it, except for shimmer's vagueness. But where the show fails, I think, is in trying to tell us that this is Good. That the Firelights are the morally Good Zaunites. Waiting in a treehouse, being an insular group that fights another gang to the death, being differentiated only in that they don't partake in the local drug... Is Good.

While making sacrifices, bad deals, using drug money, is Bad. Even if it came with political unity, and was the group that got the results, it's Bad.

They made a perfectly grey and subtle setup, and then instead of going 'there are many grey, even dark ways to be a hero for your people' — looking at both Silco and Ekko — they went white/black and 'also the freedom fighter is a bad guy, not a complex guy'.

Ekko doesn't have plans to free Zaunites. He thinks killing Silco will kill Shimmer, which is the reasoning of a child. If Silco dies, if all of Silco's gang dies, someone else will step in and pick up shimmer production. It's like toothpaste, you don't get to put it back in the tube.

Even if Silco took shimmer with him to the grave, all that Ekko would have achieved would be to leave Zaun at the mercy of power hungry chembarons, ready to split up again and enter a power struggle that would harm thousands of Zaunites under their rule.

Would Ekko care? Yes, I guess he would, but he won't be able to put all these poor Zaunites into cute tree houses, so fuck them I guess.

More importantly, would Ekko ever come to realise that killing Silco was a mistake? I don't think so, because Ekko got his brains scooped out to love on Heimerdinger. He lets a Councillor's daughter lecture him about violence, a day after 5 of his people were killed by Jinx.

Ekko is one of those characters that looks cool if you don't scratch the surface, but didn't have a real arc or a real character consistency. Unless we're truly to believe he's politically dumb enough to think Silco is a bigger evil than Heimerdinger and that life in Zaun is miserable because of Silco and not because of hundreds of years of oppression overseen by Heimer.

And that's indeed what we see, so oopsies I guess.

If Zaunites reacted more realistically to Councillors, Heimer would get a dressing down at best, and Cait would have an incredibly better arc with Vi, but the show would need one more episode at best, and more uncertain Season 1 endings for the Pilties.

I've rambled a lot and not sure I've really made a coherent answer... But this is what you get x'D sorry

#arcane #politics #meta #arcane meta #heimerdinger #silco #ekko #anon ask #thanks for the ask #long post

[detransdamnation]

A very common argument against educators keeping a student's (trans)gender identity a secret from parents is that it opens up a window for said students to be groomed because it sets a precedent that their parents or guardians are not to be trusted (at best) or that they are unsafe or abusive (at worst). To make the record very clear, I don't disagree—but I also think that the raw, unnuanced stance tends to ignore the fact that many parents are indeed untrustworthy, or unsafe, or abusive.

Many dysphoric and transgender youth grow up in abusive homes—in fact, many detransitioners, including myself, cite this as one of the main reasons on as to why they went on to develop dysphoria—and there are many parents who would use their child's dysphoria or proposed gender identity as ammo to further that abuse. I know because I was one of those children. My family was infuriated when I told them that I had dysphoria. My family discussed forcing me into clothes I was not comfortable in, activities I did not like, and heterosexual relationships I did not want with the explicit intent to "cure" me. It wasn't until the week I started my medical transition that they actually started to be a little bit okay with the thought of their child being transgender—and not because transition was something that would help me but because it would stop me from being, in their eyes, a burden on them.

My family were not emotionally safe people to know about my dysphoria, even though I was dealing with it in unhealthy ways, because they explicitly used my mental fragility against me. My home was never a safe place. Why, then, would it have been okay for my educators to—hypothetically—tell my family that I had been going by a different name within my inner circle years before my "actual" transition, all while knowing nothing about what I actually went through behind closed doors? We so often ask transgender people, "Why do you allow gender to hold so much power over you?"—but we so rarely ask ourselves, "Why do we allow nicknames and clothing"—(all gender identity and presentation is for the vast majority of these teens)—"to hold so much power over us as to justify playing tattletale, even to the extent of breaching student/counselor 'confidentiality,' to parents whose children may very well be keeping this information from them for very good reason?"

Controversial stance, though it may be—but it is through my own lifelong experience of abuse that I strongly believe that parents do not have an innate, deserved right to know anything and everything about their child just by virtue of being their parents. We cannot acknowledge the rates of abuse that dysphoric youth so often face whilst also conveniently forgetting in these such discussions that most abuse, in most cases, is perpetrated by immediate family members, especially parents, thus rendering these people potentially unsafe people to tell. Either way, these teenagers are hurting—and we can either bite our tongues and create a space where they feel they can safely work through that pain, or we can make their suffrage a political "parental rights" issue, very possibly causing even more suffrage inadvertently and further encouraging them to suffer alone, in silence, or in unhealthy echo chambers.

We must talk about the ways in which dysphoric youth are vulnerable. In doing so, we must also address the fact that danger most often comes from within the home.

#i don't usually make posts like these unprompted #but the topic came up on my dash recently and it triggered something in me #this is poorly written and doesn't encapsulate every single nuance of the situation nor every single crux of my beliefs #i just needed to get it out #just talking to myself #gender critical #writing #text #my post

[beauspot]

the anger towards Amber Bennett makes no sense and i’m gonna tell you why

Most of the anger directed at Amber stems from misogynoir let’s break it down step by step.

The most used argument for hating Amber is that she’s an awful bitch for being upset with Mark because she knew he was a superhero. I’m gonna explain why this is stupid, so stay with me 🙏🏾 cause we’re actually gonna have to start before Mark

When Nolan met Debbie. These two have been together for decades and it’s explained very clearly why. From the start Debbie knew Nolan’s secret, not because she found it out and then confronted him about it, but because Nolan told her. In her words “all their cards were on the table.” If Nolan was gone she wasn’t in the dark she knew what he was doing because he trusted her enough to share it. The reason they worked is because they had trust.

While obviously we know their relationship didn’t work out it wasn’t because of a communication problem, it was because Nolan was keeping secrets from her and also didn’t value her as a person with valid feelings. It’s almost like they’re meant to be a parallel to another couple on the show.

So with that information we get to Mark and Amber

Mark is a new superhero having gotten his powers a few mere months ago. He’s just started training and picking up hero duties and we know he’s not the strongest or best right now. We’ve seen him fail in his training and in his combat but for some reason Mark’s ability to fail stops at his relationship because he’s trying his best.

Amber finds out Mark is invincible a month or so before Mark tells her because quite frankly Mark is not good at hiding his identity, all she had to do was pay attention. When she does find out she doesn’t press him to tell her because she is waiting for him to reveal that he trusts her. He doesn’t and she finally reaches a breaking point when after ample enough time to tell her Mark disappears again and when she asks him for like the third fucking time what he was doing, he lies. AGAIN. THATS why amber broke up with him, because she opened the door for him to be honest again and again and he chose to lie.

An argument that you guys love to use is that Mark was doing this to protect her. I’m sure he thinks that’s what he’s doing, but amber knowing his identity doesn’t put her in danger, other people knowing marks identity would. if someone who wanted to hurt mark, say i don’t know his father, they could then find amber and hurt her. amber not knowing wouldn’t keep her safe, it would keep her ignorant of the danger. that’s not the same thing.

Then the excuse is that mark is a teenager so he’s not obligated to tell amber about his identity because they’re not serious, ignoring the fact nolan told debbie right at the beginning of their relationship. fine, but then amber isn’t obligated to be understanding that her boyfriend is constantly flaking and disappearing on her.

Amber is also a teenager but this fandom has decided she’s a vicious evil bitch for wanting honesty and attention from her boyfriend. Mark can keep his identity a secret but amber has to tell mark she knows the secret he’s been keeping from her?? just say you’re a hypocrite and go.

i don’t find it strange at all that you all love comic book amber who’s basically a white npc just there as a standin until mark gets with eve, but you hate tv show amber who’s black, assertive, and wants to be treated like a human being.

There are so many of you who think comparing a teenage girl to a literal genocidal maniac is perfectly logical and of course you do because you see all black women who aren’t docile and meek as a threat, it always just so happens that you hate black female characters.

Then of course you’re all pitting her against eve saying you can’t wait until amber is gone and i do see it as malicious, because without fail every time amber is brought up the discourse turns racist. i don’t care if mark and eve end up together in the show, they will never find a fan in me because of you racist weirdos.

Everyone in the show knows Mark was wrong, including mark and your precious eve. the show doesn’t agree with you because your wrong, if you still hate amber after reading this just know you’re doing it against logic.

#invincible #amber invincible #amber bennett #mark grayson #omni man #invincible debbie #debbie grayson #atom eve #mark x amber #mark x eve

[morganas-pendragons]

Hands That Hold You Now | Joel Miller

Prompt: Joel finds out you can sing, and he’s suddenly keen to teach you guitar. 

Tag: @ironmandeficiency​ @kayleezra​

***

He learns accidentally that you can sing. It’s late one night on the way back to Jackson from the hospital that he hears it while on watch. Your voice, soft and warm, echoing from the clearing you’ve made camp in for the night while you lure Ellie into sleep. 

Because it’s you, she goes willingly. Your little sister has her arm nestled under her makeshift pillow and is asleep in seconds after you started raking your fingers through her hair. 

Sister, you’re safe now…

And safe may you stay..

For I have a prayer just for you…

Joel takes careful care not to reveal himself and the fact that he’s keenly listening to you. He’d only ever briefly mentioned to you that he played guitar as well as sang so long ago, but you’d never given any indication that you did too. It feels very personal. Like one of those secrets he shouldn’t know and has now intruded upon it. 

Despite that, Joel closes his eyes and listens closely. Something about your voice soothes him. Eases the coil in his chest into something bearable that makes it easier to breathe and calms the tremble in his hands that currently cradle the rifle in his lap. 

Grow baby sister… come back someday…

Come and deliver us too…..

It’s a request and a desperate plea. You had been the one who encouraged Joel to rip Ellie from that table. She was furious. Upset. Understandably, because the story the two of you fabricated only thirty minutes before she woke wasn’t quite the most believable. 

You said she could save the world in a different way. 

Ironically enough, Joel believed you. He had to. He wasn’t sure he could deal with the reality of Ellie hating him for the decision he made from the heart of a parent who couldn’t take losing another child. 

She would never understand his reasoning. You, however, did. It was just another one of the growing list of reasons why he was so drawn to you. 

  “Got a real pretty voice.” 

Your eyes flicker upward to where Joel has just come down from the tree, rifle slung over his shoulder. He looks tired. He always looks tired. The mental and physical ramifications of all the three of you have endured is really beginning to take its toll. 

Hesitantly, you pat the spot beside you. 

  “Come here, Joel.” You call. “Come tell me how pretty I am.” 

  “You know you’re pretty, Sunshine.” He sits down in the open spot beside you and stretches his aching limbs towards the warmth of the fire. “But you never told me you could sing.” 

  “Never had a reason to. You also said you played guitar and have yet to show me.” 

Joel raises a brow. “Does it look like I have a guitar?” 

  “Fine then. When we get back to Jackson, you’re gonna find a guitar,” You prompt, scooting closer to slowly lay your head on his shoulder. He would’ve immediately recoiled at the motion when you started this. People were a liability. Caring what a liability. Better to guard your heart from it. “And then I’ll properly sing for you.” 

He leans down to whisper low and warm in your ear, “Maybe you’ll even get an opportunity to really watch the hands you don’t stop staring at at work.” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice as laughter bubbles in the back of your throat. “You’re many things. You’re not subtle.”

You ignore the burn in your cheeks in favor of watching the sun rise over the trees instead. 

***

Tommy very graciously lends him one of the guitars from the wall of the house he shares with Maria. It had been a week since the three of you had arrived in Jackson, choosing to spend that time integrating into the community before really committing yourselves to the roles that Tommy had set aside for you. 

Joel and Ellie on patrol. You on supply runs, or vice versa. 

It’s Maria who asks you upon arrival if you want to live with Joel. He’s clearly got the room - Ellie had immediately declined and settled herself into a garage where she could have her own privacy - and the desire for you to be a constant presence there. 

Joel’s presence can make it house. Your touch can make it a home. 

It’s warm on the Sunday night before Joel asks you to move in when he finds you on his porch. There’s a steaming cup of coffee in his hands and a whole canvas of stars to look at above him, but none of that can compare to the way your presence just eases that ache in his chest into something bearable. 

Around you, he can breathe. He doesn’t have to maintain that facade that people know him for. Terrifying, cruel, angry Joel Miller who would do whatever it takes in order to protect those he loves. In order to protect what’s his. 

Not everyone has seen the blood on his hands. He doesn’t want them to. He doesn’t want their pity. 

  “Hi Sunshine,” Joel muses softly. His voice is soft and warm and the lure of it makes you only want to come closer and sit at his feet while he talks to you all night. “I believe that you and I have a deal to hold up each ends of.” 

You raise a brow and turn your head to gaze at the guitar. Something shifts in your aspect at the sight of it. It reminds you of something you love, something good that you enjoy in a world where finding things to enjoy is so, so hard. There’s not time for singing. There’s not time for music. Being able to find even a moments worth of true quiet is a blessing. Why would you have time for music when noise draws the dead and goodness is so often snuffed out like the flame to a barely burning candle?

Despite all of that, you still sing. 

Despite all of that that, Joel still plays. 

You run your tongue over your teeth and nod, involuntarily shivering as the warm breeze that’s carried through the trees causes goosebumps to rise on your arms. You hadn’t been smart in wearing only a thin t-shirt and faded jeans over here. You’re not even wearing shoes. 

 “I think I’d like it if you taught me that song you mentioned, after the hospital.” Your voice is soft as you come to stand beside him and lean against the railing. “And maybe we can duet it together sometime. Now since it’s quiet.” 

That makes something inside of him swell. Now that it’s quiet. Now that it’s quiet, you can enjoy the things of life that you’d been deprived of for god knows how long. 

Joel is careful not to let his face betray the pounding of his heart as he sets both of your mugs down and motions to the steps. “Sit,” He calls over his shoulder. “I’ll come sit behind you.” 

You settle yourself on the second step and wait. Moments later, Joel’s knees come to bracket either side of your body as he slowly lowers the guitar into your lap. Your breath catches as you helplessly watch his hands wrap around your own - his are so large compared to yours, able to hide your own within their grasps with relative ease - and settle them on the appropriate frets for the chords of the song to begin. 

You wait. 

  “So this chord is… yeah, that’s it,” Joel’s instruction is thorough as you are walked through each individual chord twice before you attempt to strum on your own. “Good girl. Now keep that strum pattern while I do this.” 

As you slowly work through the chord progression, your focus is so pointed on ensuring that each one is right that you nearly miss the rumble of Joel’s baritone in your ear as he begins to sing. 

If I ever were to lose you

I'd surely lose myself

You’re careful to hear the things he doesn’t say in each word as you continue. Meeting his eyes would be the end of this precious moment of time where it’s just you and him, not another soul around, a moment in which the walls that have guarded your hearts fall and you’re able to just be with each other. 

It’s precious. It’s sacred. 

You refuse to break it. 

Everything I’ve found here

I’ve not found by myself 

Try and sometimes you’ll succeed 

To make this man of me 

Your eyes flicker downward to where his fingers are pressed against your own. He’d had a point in how frequently you paid attention to his hands. How could you not? There’s so much life there. Callouses from the years of playing guitar and worn skin at the palms from the last two decades of becoming familiar with the firearms he so flawlessly uses. Scars across the bridges of his knuckles and worn pads of his fingers that come with age and experience. 

How could you not pay attention to Joel’s hands when there’s so much to be told through them?

All my stolen missing parts

I’ve no need for anymore 

When he’d initially mentioned this song to Ellie, you had believed it would be for her. If Joel was ever going to sing this he would be singing it to her. The longer you listened to it, though, the more you realize that each word you hang onto is specifically directed at you. 

Even if he’s so hesitant to say it - Joel’s always been a man of action, not a man of words - you still hear every word. You see him. 

What Joel isn’t already aware of is that you are very familiar with this song. Once you have the cadence memorized, you tilt your head upward and wince as your fingers fall on the wrong chord and an awful sound resonates from the guitar. 

It makes him laugh. A sound you so rarely hear, more a chuckle than anything, but being able to witness the way his lips curve upward and his eyes shine is enough to ease your embarrassment into quiet admiration. 

You fix your fingers against the fret and continue with the second verse yourself. 

Back when I was feeling broken

I focused on a prayer

You came deep as any ocean

Did something out there hear?

You both had come into each others lives at just the right time. You knew it. He knew it. But you were teetering on the edge of a precipice in which one of you would eventually say those three words, and you would fall into it together. 

There’d be no coming back from that. 

Joel’s fingers are warm against your own as he dips his head to kiss the junction of your shoulder where skin is visible. You shiver, swallowing the knot in your throat and shakily finding what remains of your resolve to continue singing. 

All the complexities and games

No one wins but somehow they still played

All the missing crooked hearts

  “They may die,” Joel whispers, so quiet you almost don’t hear it, removing your fingers from the guitar to set it to the side as you turn around in the part of his legs to kneel between them. “But in us they live on.” 

They do. They do live on. Your son, his daughter, Tess, Henry and Sam, Bill and Frank, Marlene, all those people you’ve come across along the journey to get Ellie to the hospital and eventually back to your new home in Jackson. 

He was the only one who was still here. Ellie had, in her own right, separated herself from Joel for a reason she felt was justified. 

She didn’t understand why you’d been so quick to defend him. Not until she realized it. 

  “Oh. Oh, that’s rich. You love him!” 

You don’t deny it. She’s your little sister, your last living blood, and you owe her the truth at least about this. You owe her that much. 

  “It took a while... but I will never regret it and will never go back.” You pause. “Yeah. I do love him.” 

  “Joel.” You run your tongue across your lips as he holds your face, worn and calloused hands so gentle as he runs his thumbs along the apples of your cheeks. “I love you.” 

And I believe 'cause I can see You know it’s going to take a while for him to say it back. You don’t mind. The fact you’ve been able to get past the careful guard he keeps is something to be immensely proud of, and you refuse to take advantage of that precious trust he finds in you. 

You know it’s going to take him a while to say it back, but you also know what he conveys in what he doesn’t say, but what he does. 

So when Joel kisses you long and slow underneath a canvas of stars in the middle of a summer night on Jackson, you know it’s his way of quietly admitting that he loves you too. 

As long as those hands promise to hold you forever - in which they will through the birth of Joel’s daughters, through a thirty minute wedding in Jackson’s chapel, through your first time together - you can wait. 

Ellie’s arrival in the early hours of the morning finds her poised on the edge of the steps on the opposite side of the porch when she sees that Joel has fallen asleep against the outermost wall of the house with you carefully tucked into his embrace. There’s a guitar against the stairs and two cold cups of coffee on the table by the door. 

Despite all her anger, she somehow manages to find happiness for you both as she tiptoes against the creaky boards of the porch and snaps a photo with the camera she’d taken from Dina. It’s a precious memory. A joyful one. It’s relieving to know that, even if she isn’t around anymore, you and Joel are both taken care of. 

You’ll take care of each other. Now, then, and forever. 

Our future days Days of you and me

#Joel Miller #Joel Miller x Reader #Joel x Reader #The Last of Us