The Cardinal Rule
Pairing: Hawks/Gender Neutral Reader
Rating: Teen+
Tags: Romantic Comedy, Bird Puns, Ritual Blood Letting, Blood and Injury, Descriptions of Surgical Procedures, Vomit, The Teachings of Karl Marx
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A story where Hawks learns that while humans might be awed by his flying skills, the bird population is decidedly less impressed.
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"The birds are refusing to work until their demands are met," you explained, trying to subtly slide your body between Hawks and the birds who were quite literally calling for bloodshed.
"Which are?" Hawks asked as he lifted the bottle of water to his mouth and took a long sip.
"They, ah, want you held accountable for your numerous bird crimes."
Hawks abruptly choked, water spurting from the corner of his lips as he attempted to swallow the remaining liquid as he sputtered helplessly.
"My what?" He coughed, thumping solidly on his chest with a closed fist.
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Continue Reading below or follow the link to Ao3!
The air inside the studio was stifling; hot from the numerous bodies crammed into one room and the too-bright spotlights shining down onto the immaculately styled set pieces. The entire thing looked like something your Art History Professor would have gushed over, the words ‘Brutalistic’ and ‘Industrial’ echoing through your head in their booming voice. And you understood this set design just about as much as you understood that entire unit in school- pretty much not at all.
But it wasn’t your job to understand the aesthetic appeal of the bone white pillars jutting out from the concrete floor at harsh angles. Your job was to mind the birds.
You liked your job at the bird rehabilitation center well enough and found it soothing most days. Getting to spend your days caring for sick and infirmed birds was emotionally rewarding as well as lucrative. It turns out that Ornithologists were very willing to shell out the big bucks to have someone with an Avian Communication Quirk on their payroll. You had cemented yourself as an irreplaceable employee when you single handedly turned a failing breeding program around by informing the lead scientist that the female bird wasn’t receptive to the male’s advances because she thought he didn’t groom himself well enough. One emergency bath later and the courtship proceeded without a hitch. Last you heard the endangered pair was happily raising their forth successful brood.
The only part of your work you didn’t like was what you were forced into doing today; accompanying the birds on sojourns outside of the rescue facility. Schools loved to have the birds visit as they were a good distraction for the children that allowed the harried teachers to catch their breaths and chug a cup of coffee while your feathered companions dazzled the students with their aerial acrobatics. And even though those bouts of public speaking absolutely wracked your nerves, you would happily subject yourself to a dozen school assemblies if it meant escaping the hell that was waiting stand-by at a Pro Hero photo shoot.
Pro Heroes, by the nature of their work, had unpredictable schedules at best and were unreachable at worst, leaving the support and PR people who orbited around them in a perpetual state of limbo. In general, you found lateness to be deeply inconsiderate of everybody’s time and energy, but it was a social faux paus to call Heroes out on their tardiness. They were usually late due to being called out for emergencies and rescues, so chiding them for missing appointments was a surefire way to come off looking like an absolute jerk to the public at large.
But internally you can, and often do, curse them for keeping you waiting in a sweltering studio for hours as your birds grew increasingly agitated and your stock of treats ran low.
“Hot," a brilliant red cardinal complained, hopping into the bowl of water you had placed at the bottom of his cage.
“I know, buddy. Hold on just a little longer, okay?”
“Too many suns,” one of the hawks complained, ducking her head beneath her wing to block out the blinding glow of the stand lights.
“There sure are. Do you want me to put a blanket over your cage?”
“Yes,” she agreed readily, shifting her weight from foot to foot in irritation as pulled out a dark blue blanket and draped it over the side of her cage that faced the lights.
A frazzled looking assistant darted your way, hand pressed to the earpiece of their headset as she took in the newest bout of information being relayed.
"Hawks is on-site now. He's just about done in wardrobe and then he'll make his way here," the assistant said, her eyes frantically scanning over the clipboard in her hands.
"Thank goodness," you sighed, turning to the cages that housed the birds. "Are you all ready?"
"Leave? Leave now?" The cardinal chirped, bouncing excitedly in his bath.
"Unfortunately, no. We still have work to do."
"Not ready then," the cardinal huffed petulantly, puffing up his bright red body as he sank down into his pool.
"C'mon, it won't be too bad! If you all follow directions I bet the photos will go really fast and we'll be out of here in no time!" You assured the tiny red bird, crouching down to give him your full attention as he flapped his wings too fast and sent water sloshing out of his pool.
"Treat would make me ready," the cardinal said slyly, tilting his head to the side in an attempt to distract you from his manipulations by reminding you of how cute he was.
"Treat?" The overwhelmed hawk inquired, peeping her head from around her shroud.
"Treat?" A dove cooed, nudging its friends awake who immediately joined in with the call for snacks.
"Treat! Treat!" The birds chirped and squawked, hitting their wings against the side of their cage and creating a loud enough ruckus that people were beginning to send irritated glances your way.
"Okay!," you hissed in capitulation, pulling a handful of dried crickets out of a paper bag. "But this is the last of the treats I brought with me, so you all need to behave and make it through the rest of the photoshoot. Got it?"
"Yes, yes," the cardinal readily agreed, bouncing along the bottom of his cage and picking up the grasshopper in its beak, chomping happily. "Be good. Promise."
The cardinal was a dirty rotten liar.
Snacks had bought you a tentative peace that lasted until the moment Hawks arrived on set. The birds took one look at the Hero and promptly began screeching, startling everyone in the studio and causing more than one person to drop their cup of coffee in surprise. Hawks took to air, landing on top of one of the pillars and artfully arranged himself according to the Photographer's instructions while your birds went wild; hurling insults his way.
"Rude! Rude bird!" The cockatoo called, flairing his crest in displeasure.
"Bad flier!" The doves chastised together with sharp clicks of their beaks.
"Miscreant!" The cardinal called, easily the most wound up of the bunch, fluffing up his feathers to look threatening. "Criminal!"
"Hey, guys! Shhhh, you have to quiet down!" You begged, aware of all the judgemental glares settling onto your back like a physical weight. "You promised you'd behave!"
"No behave! Need justice!" The cardinal called, hopping up onto his perch and opening his bright orange beak to let out a high pitched chirp. " JUSTICE!"
"Justice!" The rest of the birds echoed. Justice! Justice! Justice!"
"We're ready for the birds on set!" The assistant informed you as she motioned over her shoulder to where the photographer circled around Hawks, snapping a few last minute test shots.
"Right," you coughed nervously. "About that."
"What do you mean the birds refuse to work?!" The photographer roared in your face, his cheeks colored a splotchy red. "They're birds! "
"Yes, they are. And they refuse to take pictures with Hawks."
"All of them?" The photographer scrubbed a frustrated hand down his face, a vein at his temple pulsating in time with his thundering heartbeat.
"Seems like," you admit with a sheepish shrug. "It's pretty unusual for them to agree on anything like this. The raptors and the songbirds are almost always at odds with each other."
"I'm so glad they've managed to achieve bird peace instead of doing, oh, I don't know; WHAT I'VE PAID FOR THEM TO DO!" The photographer bellowed through gritted teeth, pulling out fistfuls of his already thinning hair in frustration.
"No price on honor!" The cardinal chirped boldly, the other birds supporting their tweeted proclamation with chirps of their own.
"What's going in here?" A passing member of the crew asked, hoisting a coiled extension cord up onto his shoulder.
"The birds are uh- unionizing, apparently? And have decided to go on strike," you explain.
"Really?" The man said, eyes wide in astonishment as he gave the birds a thumbs up and a wide smile. "Right on, little dudes! Fight the power!"
"Yes! Fight! Fight!" The cardinal called.
"Fight!" The birds chorused.
"Bite! Bite!" The cardinal screeched as he snapped his beak in demonstration.
"You uh, might want to get away from the cages," you warn the photographer. "They're starting to call for violence."
The photographer turned away from the cages and appeared to take cleansing breaths before he noticed the crew orderly filing out of the studio.
"Wait!" The photographer called out to the workers. "Where are you going?"
"Sorry man, but we don't cross picket lines," the man holding the extension cord explained as he grabbed a soggy donut from craft services table on his way out the door. The crew's act of solidarity seemed to please the birds, who let out joyous calls in return.
"We are flock!" The cardinal cheered. "The flock is strong!"
"I'm so going to get fired for this," you mutter despondently as the birds began flipping over their feeders, spilling seeds and slices of fresh fruit across the studio floor.
"So what's the excitement over here all about?" Hawks asked, finally curious enough about the disruption your birds were causing to come over and investigate.
"So, um. The birds are upset, " you begin warily, hyper aware that the birds were screeching louder and louder with every step Hawks took towards their cages.
"I can see that," he smirked as he twisted the lid off of a bottle of water, the lopsided grin perfectly at home on his scruffy face.
"And they're refusing to work until their demands are met," you explained, trying to subtly slide your body between Hawks and the birds who were quite literally calling for bloodshed.
"Which are?" Hawks asked as he lifted the bottle of water to his mouth and took a long sip.
"They, ah, want you held accountable for your numerous bird crimes."
Hawks abruptly choked, water spurting from the corner of his lips as he attempted to swallow the remaining liquid as he sputtered helplessly.
"My what? " He coughed, thumping solidly on his chest with a closed fist.
"Crimes! So many crimes!" The cardinal squawked. "Criminal!"
"Villain! Bad Hawk!" The hawk supplied, eager to distance herself from this other hawk's misdeeds.
"You seem to have acquired a terrible reputation amongst the bird population in the city. They're calling you a Villain," you explain ruefully, desperately wishing that you had woken up dead this morning so you could have avoided this entire mortifying ordeal.
"Tell me- tell me everything, " Hawks sputtered, staring intensely at the rioting birds with wide golden eyes.
Since you were the only person who could understand both human and avians, you were selected to mediate by default. The birds, unsurprisingly, chose the rabble-rousing cardinal as their representative.
"I'm going to let you out of the cage now," you told the cardinal, unlocking the door to his enclosure. "No funny business or you're going right back in, understood?"
"Yes," the cardinal groused, hopping up and down to psych himself up for confronting the number one bird-sona non grata.
"That means no biting."
"..."
"Agree not to bite or I'm leaving you in the cage."
"Fine," the cardinal agreed, puffing his feathers up in irritation. "No bite."
"Took him a while to agree to that rule," Hawks murmured uneasily, eyeing the cardinal's sharp orange beak.
"Yeah, they made up a song about biting you earlier and I think it got him really excited about the prospect."
"Oh, wow," Hawks said, a genuine thread of amazement lacing through his words. "They've really put a lot of effort into hating me."
"Yeah, they really have. It's super impressive, right?"
"No chatting!" The cardinal admonished, squeezing your finger with his tiny feet; talons prickling your skin. "List his crimes! Prepare for judgment!"
"Right, okay. So, their biggest complaint is that you're an inconsiderate flier," you begin, keeping an eye on the cardinal perched on your finger as he nods along to your words.
"Inconsiderate how?"
"For starters, you often fly through a flock. That makes them consider you a predator and unnecessarily stresses them out. It's an especially big deal during the spring when the females are incubating."
"I see," Hawks murmured, scratching his chin thoughtfully.
You listened closely to the clarifying chirp of the cardinal before addressing Hawks once more. "He says that you will also position yourself at the front of a flock, putting yourself in charge of navigation and end up leading them wildly off course."
"I had no idea," Hawks admitted with a sigh, grimacing under the beady glare of the cockatoo. "I was just enjoying their company while I flew."
"And that's kind of the underlying issue here," you point out, running a calming finger over the fluffy crest of feathers atop his head. "You're playing on their field but totally ignoring the rules of the game and just sowing chaos everywhere you fly."
"I feel like a complete jerk," Hawks admitted, moving his head so he was face to face with the feisty cardinal. "I'm sorry for causing trouble and making such a mess of things. I'll be much more conscious about how I fly in the future."
The cardinal was quiet on your finger, mulling over Hawk's words thoughtfully.
"Tell him more."
"Really?" You groan. "Can't you just accept his apology and move on?"
"Hear all crimes! Then retribution!"
"Okay, so are you ready to hear the rest?"
"There's more? " Hawks asked incredulously, staring at the cardinal with wide eyes.
"You better grab a seat," you advise him with a sigh. "It's a long list of complaints."
To his immense credit, Hawks sat through the translated tongue lashing with rapt attention, taking in each and every criticism with a solemn nod of his head. He was accused of everything from taking up all the best perches to not sharing the snacks he brought up onto rooftops with him. That one seemed especially egregious in the eyes of the birds, as the mere mention of unshared snacks past sent them into a wild screeching fit it took you minutes to calm them down from.
"Last crime," the cardinal proclaimed grandiosely, as though he was delivering a sermon from a pulpit and not yelling at an increasingly despondent man while perched on your finger. "Duck got head stuck in fence. Hawks took picture and laughed!"
"You laughed and took a picture of a duck that got its head stuck in a fence?"
"Yeah," Hawks winced, fingers running across the grooves in his water bottle nervously. "I freed them afterwards though!"
"After you laughed at them and took a picture, you mean?" You huffed, completely siding with the birds in this particular instance.
"Crimes done. Retribution now!" The cardinal chirped, sending the rest of the birds into an uproar of wildly flapping wings and agreeing squeaks.
"What's he saying?"
"He's, uh, calling for retribution."
"Feathers and blood!" The cardinal demanded.
"Feathers and blood!" The doves warbled in agreement.
"They're calling for your feathers and blood," you informed the Hero.
"And snacks!" The hawk added, the rest of the birds silent as they considered the added request.
"Yes, snacks!" The cardinal chirped in triumph as the rest of the birds joined him in his chant. "Snacks! Snacks! Snacks!"
"Feathers, blood…and snacks," you clarify, watching anxiously as Hawks' brow furrowed deeply in thought.
"I agree to your terms," Hawks said, holding out his extended index finger in front of the cardinal. "Blood and feathers now, with snacks to be delivered later. Deal?"
The cardinal, being a legitimately good representative for his species, turned to briefly confer with the rest of the birds before hopping from your finger onto Hawks'; the closest approximation to a handshake as they could get.
"It's a deal," you smiled brightly to Hawks, who returned your brilliant grin with one of his own that set off sharp pangs of nervousness in your belly. It had been easy to ignore how handsome he was while you were busy trying to quell a feathery uprising; but now that the panic that had been crashing through your body was abating, your brain had apparently decided you had more than enough brain cells free to contemplate how pleasing Hawks' appearance was.
He was a bit more disheveled than he was at the start of this entire debacle, hair tousled from where he had run his hands through it in bouts of sheepishness; but he still looked put together and expertly coiffed. You, on the other hand, could tell that an entire day spent in a sweltering room hadn't done you any favors by the way your uniform polo clung to your sweat-dampened skin. Suddenly self conscious and desperate for a shower, you puff your chest out in a false show of bravado and do your best to move things along.
"Alright, which do you want to do first? The blood or the feathers?"
The birds, by and large, considered giving up feathers to be the most important act of contrition and agreed that the request for blood was mostly just a ceremonial inclusion for traditions sake. But Hawks, determined to repent, ran one of his sharpened feathers across his forearm with no complaint; dulling the blood tipped feather and presenting it to the cardinal with a deep bow.
The cardinal accepted the offering with a pleased chirp, taking the feather in his beak and carefully tucking it in amongst his tail feathers. Hawks' plume, being about twice the length of the entire cardinal, trailed out comically from his tail and made him look like a far more exotic bird than he actually was.
"Atonement!" The cardinal cried, shaking his new tail feather for his comrades to see.
"So red!" A dove praised.
"Very shiny," the cockatoo nodded.
"Well, that's one down," Hawks said as he curled his left wing in front of his body, hands already running through his feathers as he carefully selected his next offering. "Who's next?"
"Me! Me! Me!" The birds chirped in unison, a great many hopping up and down in their excitement to possess a colorful new treasure.
"You don't have to give them all feathers, Hawks," you assured him as you frantically calculated how many birds you'd brought with you versus how many feathers he could probably surrender while still retaining his ability to fly. "I know you need them for your job."
"That's true," Hawks nodded as he plucked out another feather and presented it to a brown-headed thrush. "But I also need to hold myself accountable for my mistakes. The birds have very generously offered me a way to make things right, and I won't take this opportunity for granted."
You didn't know what to say so you opted instead for silence, watching intently as he methodically worked his way through the collected cages; respectful and solemn as he repeated the feather presentation for each and every bird.
The photographer had been thrilled when he returned to set and found Hawks in place on set, lounging bonelessly across the pillars with a collection of raptors perched around him. That excitement faded quickly when he saw the bare patches in Hawks' normally full wings, a far cry from the picture perfect style he'd be envisioning.
Hawks had simply run an admiring finger across the bright red feather tucked into an eagle's wing and proclaimed that 'He liked it better this way' and that was that. The photographer began barking orders and the crew jumped into action, adjusting light positioning and turning on a wind machine to ruffle everyone's feathers just so.
The rest of the shoot went by smoothly, and in no time at all you were refilling water dishes and loading up the cages into the back of the large box truck with the bird rescues' name and phone number stenciled onto the back. You cranked the AC up to the highest setting and sank down into the faux leather driver's seat, enjoying the merciless onslaught of frigid air on your overheated skin as you buckled up.
Peering into your side mirror, you were startled by the presence of the Number Two Hero illuminated in the red glow of your taillights. He was leaning out of the studio exit, a small smile tugging at his lips and a hand held up in farewell while you shifted the truck into drive and rolled out of the parking lot. The sharp shrill of birds complaining as you hit a pothole pulled your attention back to the road and away from Hawks' golden eyes; glowing brightly from the shadows.
It was hard not to think about Hawks as you cruised along on the empty highway, so you allowed yourself a brief flight of fancy; reminiscing about the scant distance between your bodies and the tangy redolence of his cologne.
It would be a good story to regale your coworkers with over drinks and to pull out at parties when you needed to impress someone; the tale of a bird rebellion and how Hawks managed to both literally and figuratively soothe the birds' ruffled feathers. A once in a lifetime meeting that you would think back fondly on, made ever more precious by the knowledge that such a thing would never occur again.
It wasn't like you to answer your personal phone at work, but it also wasn't something that had honestly ever happened before. Your family knew your work schedule and your friends all belonged to the very reasonable school of thought where they would rather drink poison than talk on the phone, so any communication from them would arrive in text form. Curious, you pulled your phone out of your back pocket and swiped to answer; stomach plummeting to your feet when your camera booted up and you belatedly realized you'd accepted a request to video chat.
"Shit. Shit, shit, shit, " you swore, reaching to press the disconnect button as Hawks' beaming face appeared on screen.
"Hey there!," he greeted cheerily, face disappearing from view as he momentarily fumbled with his phone.
"Hawks? " You croak in disbelief, quickly examining your appearance in the small facecam and hurriedly knocking a chunk of dried mealworm out of your hair.
"That's what they call me!"
"Are you- is everything okay?" You manage to stammer out, impressed that you managed to say actual words and not a series of confused grunts.
"Everything is fine! I was just calling to thank you for all your help a few weeks back," he explained, the camera drifting off to the side to show off the sprawling city skyline. Wherever Hawks was, he was up high. "Word has been getting around to all the birds around the city and I've noticed a definite shift in their demeanor."
"Oh? How so?"
"Well, for starters, they've stopped dive bombing me mid-flight. And they aren't pooping on that statue of me downtown nearly as much as they used to. Oh! And a couple days ago a crow brought me a couple of soda tabs," Hawks said proudly as he reached into the collar of his shirt and pulled out a leather cord with some aluminum pieces tied into the middle. "So I turned them into a necklace!"
"Very stylish," you complimented sincerely, thinking about the box of bird gifted trinkets you had at home and how much each of those shiny bits of metal meant to you.
"And I've taken to carrying around some food for them- bird seed and raisins, mostly; so we can all hang out and eat together!"
"It really sounds like things have turned around for you. I'm glad."
"They really have," Hawks nodded eagerly, phone tilting off-kilter once again as a particularly strong gust blew by. "And it's all because of you."
"I think you're definitely downplaying that cardinal's excellent negotiation tactics," you reminded him as you shuffled a few papers across the top of a nearby desk, trying to distract yourself from the sense of unease you felt under the weight of both his attention and gratitude.
"Speaking of negotiations, did the treats I sent arrive safely? I would hate for this tentative peace we've achieved to crumble due to shipping errors."
"They did!" You assured him, spinning your phone around to point the camera at the large stack of express shipped boxes in the corner. "The birds were very excited when they arrived, but now that they know we have such a huge backlog they just keep bugging me about getting snacks all the time."
"Sorry about that. But sacrifices must be made in the name of peace," Hawks shook his head sadly.
"I think you're a bit more knowledgeable about sacrifices than I am. Are your replacement feathers coming in alright?"
"They've already fully grown back in, see?" He tilted his camera to landscape and extended one wing out to the side, fluffing his feathers to show off how nicely they'd filled in.
"Woah," you whistled in appreciation, cutting off the sound abruptly when you saw his cheeks flush, realizing how inappropriately he had taken your display of awe. "That's ah- really fast for full regrowth."
"That's sort of my thing, you know. Being fast," he smirked proudly before he suddenly froze, cheeks reddening even further as he seemed to sink his face down into the collar of his coat. "Well, uh- most of the time at least. Sometimes I'm slow though. When I want to be. I can be reeeeally slow."
Deciding to ignore his floundering since he had so graciously let your own bout of verbal idiocy pass unmentioned, you frantically gazed around the room and found the perfect segue to shift your conversation back into neutral waters.
"Do you want to see what they did with your feathers?"
"They kept them?" Hawks asked, voice hitching in excitement.
"More than that; they made art with them," you cheerfully explained, flipping the phone around to show off the wreath hanging in the window a handful of weaver birds had worked together to craft; Hawk's brilliant red feathers tucked and woven amongst reedy pieces of grass and straw. "Since there weren't enough feathers for every bird here at the rescue, they thought that displaying them publicly was more fair."
"Wow," Hawks breathed, impressed by both their craft skills and sense of equitability. "They're really taking this union thing seriously."
"You have no idea," you laughed dryly. "They're starting to talk about collecting dues. "
It was strange how quickly you became accustomed to communicating with Hawks. Calls were a rare occurrence due to how overwhelmingly busy he was pretty much every moment of the day. There were multiple instances where you would be texting, sending funny memes back and forth to each other, and then mere moments after his last message was sent you would see him flash across the screen in a live news broadcast. A blur of red and beige swooping in to pull civilians out of harm's way or expertly apprehend Villains without breaking a sweat.
Knowing how full Hawks' schedule was made you even more appreciative of that evening he'd spent with you and the birds all those weeks ago. You had thought that the feathers were the most valuable thing he had given up that day, but you now knew that his time was an infinitely more precious commodity.
So you treasured each moment that he chose to share with you, regardless of the form it took. Snapshots of cute birds he'd seen on patrol, lengthy personal reviews of what had to be every fried chicken restaurant in the city, and picking up the phone whenever he was free to chat.
Even when that call came in at four in the morning, like today.
"You should try to eat breakfast before you crash for the night," you reminded him, tone a touch scolding because this was not the first time you'd had to remind him to make time for a meal.
"I don't like breakfast foods," Hawks grumbled, lip stuck out in a deep pout as he trudged towards his kitchen.
"You don't have to eat breakfast foods, you just have to eat, " you huff in exasperation, grabbing a box of cereal from your pantry, hoping that a healthy dose of peer pressure might tip the scales in your favor. "Cold pizza was invented for pretty much this exact purpose."
"I don't think I have any pizza," Hawks muttered, prying open the double doors of his fridge and examining the contents critically. "I think I have the stuff for a sandwich though."
"Sandwiches are good. They meet all the necessary desperation meal requirements."
"Which are?" Hawks asked as he shoved a packet of lunch meat into the crook of his arm and sent a couple of feathers in to grab condiments so he wouldn't have to set down his phone.
"They contain calories and don't dirty up too many dishes," you explain, hip checking your own fridge closed as you grab a carton of milk. "Handfuls of cheese you eat over the sink are also a classic choice."
"What are you eating?"
"Cereal," you say, holding up your bowl of puffed grains next to your face for his inspection.
"Ugh, gross," he says, wrinkling his nose in distaste.
"I'm going to toss some berries on top."
"That doesn't make the cereal better, that just makes the berries worse, " he complained as he squirted a generous serving of mayonnaise across a slice of bread, paused, and then squeezed on some more.
"Hey, now! If I wanted this level of judgment before the sun came up I would talk to my Grandma instead," you huffed, shoving a spoonful of cereal into your mouth and bringing the microphone closer to your jaw to subject Hawks to the loudest crunching sounds you could manage.
"I- sorry," he sighed, shoulders drooping in exhaustion. "I didn't mean to be so prickly. Today was…really rough."
"I know," you said soothingly. "I saw the News. Even went to bed early because I thought you might call."
"Thank you," he says, voice small so it could slip past the emotions welling in his throat. "For picking up."
"Anytime, Hawks," you assured him, eyes darting to the time displayed in the upper corner of your phone screen. "Literally."
You, 11:45am
"Hey, Hawks? I have a question."
Hawks, 11:52am
"Of course! What's up?"
You, 11:53am
"I've been wondering for a while now- how did you get my phone number?"
Hawks, 1:15pm
"I saw the rescue logo on the back of the truck when you were leaving the photo shoot."
"Called them up and told them how impressed I was with your professionalism and how I wanted to thank you personally."
You, 1:18pm
"And they just gave you my number?!"
Hawks, 1:20pm
"Yep. Major breach of confidentiality. You might want to look into that, actually.
"They didn't ask me to verify my identity or anything!"
You, 1:22
"Gotta go. I need to send a strongly worded letter to HR."
Hawks, 1:25
"Make sure to start it with a 'To Whom It May Concern'; let them know you really mean business!"
The familiar jingle of Hawk's custom ringtone only sounded for a moment before you were able to swap which hand was holding onto your grocery basket and fish your phone out of your back pocket.
"Hey, there!" Hawks greeted, smile strained as he waved his arm around frantically at something off screen. "Can I- Ugh! Ask for a favor in a- argh! Professional capacity?"
"Uh, sure?" You agreed, re-shelving a can of soup you were having second thoughts about.
"Great!" Hawks shouted in relief, pulling a flailing pigeon into frame, reeling back momentarily as he took a wing straight to the face. "This little cutie has been following me for hours , trying to- oof! Get my attention and I'm starting to get very curious as to their underlying motivation."
"Maybe she just wants an autograph?" You joke, snorting in amusement as Hawks dodged another hit from the distressed bird.
"I'll give her whatever she wants if she just- ugh ! Stops hitting me!"
You whistled shrilly, gaining the attention of nearby shoppers and the pigeon on Hawks' end; the bird stilling in his hands at your call. "Hey, little pigeon. What's going on?"
The pigeon launched into a series of urgent coos, head bobbing along frantically with her cries.
"Are you sure?" You asked, eyes wide as she cooed in confirmation, heaving a relieved sigh that her message had been successfully conveyed.
"What? What is it?" Hawks asked anxiously, cradling the bird snugly to his chest now that she wasn't a thrashing mass of beak and talons.
"She says, ah-," you pause, looking around at all the shoppers lingering about you with prying eyes. Flashing them a wobbly smile, you quickly shuffle off towards the other end of the store, dropping your voice to a whisper in a bid for some level of confidentiality. "She says that she knows where they're hiding all the drugs?"
It's quiet for a moment as Hawks peers down at the pigeon in his hands with comically wide eyes before he shifts into a more professional demeanor; shooting a too-bright smile at you through his phone.
"I've gotta' go now! Bye!"
Your phone kicks you back to your home screen as he hangs up, leaving you staring at your phone; dumbfounded by the abrupt turn of events.
A few days passed before you heard from Hawks again, and when the next call came in he wasn't alone.
"This is Cookie," he beamed as he proudly introduced the familiar pigeon perched on his shoulder. "Get it? Because you can't spell 'Cookie' without 'coo'? And she's a pigeon? And pigeons-"
"-pigeons say 'coo'. Yeah, I get it," you groan miserably. After years working at the rescue you had limited patience for bird jokes and were pretty sure you had heard them all hundreds of times by this point. Unfortunately for you, Hawks seemed to have acquired puns as a second language and was determined to impress you with his fluency.
"Anyway, it turns out Cookie has a real knack for surveillance. She led me right to a massive distribution center that was operating right under our noses."
"Is it okay for you to be telling me all of this?"
"Probably not!" Hawks laughed, bringing a finger up to give Cookie an affectionate scratch at the side of her head. "Anyway, I hope you weren't too attached to that dim sum place downtown. It was totally a drug front."
"Wait- the one with the little ginger dumplings?" You gasped in dawning horror.
"The very same."
"And the chef-?"
"The ringleader of the entire operation, I'm afraid."
"God dammit!"
"So they pack me up, ship me across the country to some far flung zoo to talk to their penguin in person because he's, and I quote, 'camera shy'. And do you know how that little gremlin thanked me?" You ranted into your phone, freshly clad in an old pair of pajamas with your skin still dewy from your flesh-searingly hot shower.
"He threw up on you, didn't he?" Hawks said, poorly disguising his restrained laughter with a forced cough.
"He threw up on me !" You screeched, throwing your hands up into the air as you fell backwards onto the couch, accidentally smacking yourself in the face with the corner or your phone during your uncontrolled plummet. "Ouch!"
"You alright?" Hawks asked, voice muffled from your speaker being pressed into the couch cushions.
"Yes. And no?" you sigh, rubbing a fist across the rising welt on your temple while you propped your phone up on your stomach, providing Hawks with the most unflattering viewing angle of your face as possible. "Just wishing things were different, I guess?"
"What sorts of things?" Hawks asked quietly, the distant beacons on airplane wings blinking methodically in the night sky behind him; false stars in a pollution filled sky.
"I don't know. Everything? I wish I had a different job, one where penguins didn't vomit on me. Or a different Quirk. Just- an entirely different life, sometimes."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I thought," Hawks paused, allowing himself to carefully select his words. "I thought you liked your job?"
"I do. Most of the time, at least. But it also feels like I never really have a choice, you know? Like, what else could I really do with a Quirk like mine?"
"You could always not use your Quirk," he said, gaze intensely focused away from his phone on some distant point on the horizon you couldn't see. "Get a job doing something entirely different."
"I didn't want to when I was a kid- use my Quirk, I mean. I wanted to be a doctor. And a best-selling author. And a ninja."
"Quite the triple threat."
"Yeah," you chuckled, thinking back on all the crayon drawings you had made, scribbles of a distant future that would never come to pass. "But everyone said it would be a waste to not use my natural-born talent, especially since it's a moderately useful one."
"I've always wanted to be Hero. For as long as I can remember, that's always been my dream," Hawks stated flatly, with the same lackluster affect of someone discussing the weather; an automatic response honed through years of systematic repetition. "But I get it."
"You do?"
"Yeah," he swallowed thickly, focusing his attention back onto you; eyes glistening strangely with reflections of the city lights.
"It's hard being… pigeonholed into a profession."
"Hawks, noooooo," you groan piteously. "We were having a moment! And you ruined it!"
"I'm sorry!" He lied, head thrown back as he cackled.
"I'm hanging up now," you grumbled, more amused than you were irritated but determined not to let Hawks know that.
"Don't go! I'll be lonely without you!"
"Cookie will keep you company. Won't you, girl?"
At the mention of her name, the pigeon poked her head out from where she was nestled inside of Hawks' collar, cooing her agreement.
"I still can't believe you commissioned a tiny visor for her," you snorted in delight at the miniature replica of Hawks' headset perched on top of Cookie's beak.
"What? She needed it!" Hawks defended, drawing his collar shut and pulling Cookie in more snugly towards his chest. "Her eyes were drying out when I flew too fast!"
"Uh-huh. Sure they were."
"They were! And besides, she likes wearing it," he insists petulantly before he is carried away by a sudden wave of uncertainty. "Right?"
"She does," you assure him. "Cookie really loves being with you, Hawks."
"Really?" He whispered, staring down at the bird in awe, who cooed happily and nuzzled her head into his chin.
A quiet moment stretched on between you, silent except for the sound of your breathing and the distant wail of a car alarm.
"For the record, I think your Quirk is amazing," Hawks said sincerely. "You have this entire extra world you get to communicate with. That's pretty special."
"I guess," you say with a sigh, pushing up into a sitting position with the naive aspirations of mustering up the energy to make it to bed in the next hour or two. "But it's not like they're particularly great conversationalists. Once Spring rolls around I just have to deal with listening to hundreds of voices outside my window screaming about how horny they are for weeks on end."
"You prefer a more subtle seduction method then?" Hawks asked, tone playful and also somehow entirely inappropriate.
"Just a smidgen," you laugh nervously, steadfastly ignoring the frantic beating of your heart.
"I'll make a note of that."
You had grown so used to looking at Hawks through your phone screen that seeing him in person, bursting through the doors of the rescue, was as startling as having ice shoved down the back of your shirt. And that feeling of alarm was quickly upgraded to absolute panic by the fact that he was covered in blood splatter and cradling Cookie's limp and twisted body in his hands.
"HELP!" Hawks yelled, eyes darting wildly around the room as he searched for assistance. There wasn't even time for a single breath between Hawks spotting you and then him suddenly being at your side; a gust of air heralding his arrival before your eyes could even begin to try to focus on where he had been.
"Please! You have to help! Cookie she- she's hurt," Hawks pleaded, his eyes wild as he cradled his injured friend to his chest.
"Let me see," you ordered firmly, prying open Hawks' shaking hands to get a better look at the bird.
"Cold," Cookie warbled weakly when Hawks' hands were pulled away from her body.
"Shh, I know sweet girl," you said soothingly, lifting her as carefully as you could into your own grasp.
"Hawks hurt? Hawks okay?"
"What is it?" Hawks asked anxiously. "What's she saying?"
"She wants to know if you're hurt."
"No," Hawks assured her, voice cracking as he ran soothing fingers across a patch of disheveled feathers between her eyes. "I'm just fine, thanks to you."
"I need to take Cookie now, Hawks," you informed him gently, "I'll take good care of her. I promise."
"I know," he sniffed, wiping damp cheeks onto the sleeve of his coat. "I trust you."
It was hard witnessing Hawks' desperation; seeing someone who was normally a paragon of strength so visibly shaken. It made you scared, having to be strong and brave; to help when a Hero couldn't.
But you could be brave, just this once.
For Hawks' sake.
Just like you, the rest of the staff at the bird rescue had been cherry picked to provide the highest level of Avian care possible. So while Cookie had been grievously injured with an absolutely staggering number of blunt force fractures, there was likely no better place in the city she could have been brought to for treatment.
Cookie had made it through numerous scans and a long operation, but you knew that was only the beginning of her struggle. Her road to recovery would be a long one, and she would likely never be able to fly as well as she did before after having the bones in her left wing nearly ground to dust. But you couldn't bring yourself to feel too discouraged by that bit of bad news in the face of Cookie's near miraculous survival.
There hadn't been anything for you to do during the surgery since you didn’t possess any sort of veterinary license, but Hawks had entrusted Cookie to you and it felt wrong to just leave her. You knew your coworkers well and had the utmost faith in their capabilities, but you'd been determined to stay there beside her should the worst have come to pass.
So you'd tucked yourself into a corner, already overwhelmed and ready to leave before the scalpel had even made its first incision. You’d watched as they cut and tugged and stitched; blood running and bones popping and Quirks glowing. And dear lord, the smells-
It was the absolute worst thing you’d ever witnessed in your life.
But Hawks had trusted you with this; to be where he couldn’t.
And you wouldn't let him down.
Hawks sprang up from his stolen chair behind the reception desk as you stumbled back to the front of the building, heartbeat thundering as images from the surgery clung to the inside of your eyelids; replaying with gruesome clarity every time you blinked.
"How is she?" He asked breathlessly, eager to hear the news but dreading the likely outcome.
“Cookie made it through surgery,” you said, voice too loud as you attempted to make yourself heard over the ringing in your ears. “She’ll survive.”
“Oh, thank God,” Hawks gasped in relief, his words distant and muffled. “I don’t know how to thank you for this.”
“Don’t worry about it,” you said, waving off his gratitude right before you bent forward and threw up all over his boots.
You, 2:14am
“Once again: I’m so sorry about the vomit.”
Hawks, 2:15am
“I told you, it’s fine! Stop apologizing.”
You, 2:15am
“Never. I am going to be apologizing about this for the rest of my life.”
“Every time we meet I’ll be like, ‘Hey, Hawks! How are you? Sorry about horking on your boots that one time.’”
Hawks, 2:17am
“Listen, at least this time you were the one throwing up on a bird instead of having a bird throw up on you!"
You, 2:18am
“You’re not a bird though.”
Hawks, 2:20am
“I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
You, 2:21am
“I want you to be ASLEEP.”
Hawks, 2:23am
“Best I can do is propping up my feet and chugging an energy drink.”
You, 2:24am
“That isn’t even remotely close to an acceptable substitute.”
Hawks, 2:26am
“That’s all you’re getting. Take it or leave it.”
You, 2:28am
"Fine. But I'm going to tell Cookie you're not taking care of yourself."
Hawks, 2:28am
"Oh, that's low."
You, 2:29am
"I literally threw up on the Number Two Hero yesterday. I cannot possibly get any lower than I already am. I might as well just double down and enjoy the perks of my new bottom dweller status."
You were changing out the bedding in Cookie's cage when she saw it.
"Hawks feathers?" She warbled excitedly at the sight of the brilliant red wreath hanging in the window.
"Oh! Yeah, those are Hawks' feathers all right. Good eye."
"I see?"
"Do you want to perch there while I finish cleaning out your cage?"
"Please," Cookie cooed eagerly, practically vibrating with excitement. It was the most energetic you had seen her since her operation and you were happy to indulge her whims.
"Here you go," you said, lowering her gently into the inner hollow of the wreath. Mindful of her injuries, Cookie nestled down happily into the tangle of grass and feathers.
By the time you had sanitized everything in the cage and tucked a warm water bottle into her bed, Cookie had fallen fast asleep in the cradle of feather wreath. Heart melting, you crept closer on silent feet and took a dozen pictures at various angles and filter settings to send to Hawks later.
You felt a familiar weight settle on your shoulder, needle-like nails scraping for purchase against your skin as the cardinal joined you in observing Cookie's rest.
"Is this okay?" You asked, knowing how important the wreath was to all the birds in the rescue and unsure if napping spot was one of the agreed upon uses for it. To your immense relief, the cardinal bobbed his head in affirmation.
"From each by ability, to each by need," he chirped firmly.
"'To each by need '…?" You echo suspiciously with narrowed eyes. "Has someone been reading Karl Marx to you again?
"The proletariat has nothing to lose but chains!"
After many weeks of worried video calls and unapproved after hours visits that your boss chose to turn a blind eye to after Hawks made a hefty donation, Cookie was ready to be released back into Hawks' care.
"So I need you to sign these discharge papers," you tell Hawks, tapping multiple spaces on the cover page that required his initials and signature. "Mostly just standard release stuff, detailing the treatment plan listing the dates for follow up visits, etcetera, etcetera."
"Got it," Hawks agreed, having one of his feathers sign for him since he was loath to stop cuddling with Cookie for a single instant.
"This one says that I've informed you of all the recommended follow up care."
"Uh-huh," he grinned, happily nuzzling his nose against Cookie's beak as his feather kept scribbling.
"This one says that we cannot be held legally responsible for anything that happens to her once she leaves the rescue."
"Sure," he agreed, chuckling as Cookie nipped playfully at his jaw; feather still dutifully signing away.
"And this one is the list of demands drawn up by Cookie's union."
Hawks paused, brow furrowing as Cookie continued to pluck at his beard scruff.
"The what now?"
Hawks paced as he read through the notes you had typed up on Cookie's behalf. As much as the pigeon adored Hawks and couldn't wait to get back to working alongside him, the cardinal had proven himself to be an incredibly persuasive orator and managed to convince Cookie to submit a list of demands.
"'The Union of Working Birds, henceforth to be referred to as 'The Birds of Pay'', " Hawks snorted in delight. "-'formally submit the following requests. Number one: guaranteed housing'. Done."
"Didn't figure you'd object to that one," you said, having helped Hawks painstakingly pick out supplies to house and care for Cookie in his apartment.
"'Number 2: food will be provided in compensation for labor and will be appropriately calculated by bird weight and provided daily'. No complaints there-," he murmured, voice trailing off as he continued reading as he strode around the room; drawing to a sudden halt about five pages in.
"The demands seem to shift a bit around number forty-tree," Hawks said, clearing his throat dramatically before he began reading aloud again. "'The Birds of Pay retain exclusive rights for requesting avian-based employment with the Hawks Hero Agency'."
"Influence works both ways, Hawks. Just like Cookie was swayed by the cardinal's talk of worker's rights, a lot of the other birds were really impressed by the stories Cookie told about you," you explained. "At this point, you could employ an entire flock of birds if you wanted to."
The air inside your office was the perfect temperature, the thermostat set to exactly where you liked it and not a single degree higher or lower. The furniture selection was a bit too fancy for your liking, polished marble and smudge proof glass where you felt tile and laminate would have sufficed for a fraction of the cost.
But it wasn't your job to understand the aesthetic design choices of Heroes. Your job was to mind the birds.
"Songbird 2, do you copy?" You spoke clearly into your headset listening closely to the responding chirps; eyes glued to the live video feed playing across your screen. "We have all the footage we need. Return to the Aviary, over."
You breathed a sigh of relief as the blackbird chirped in acknowledgement, the video feed shifting from the inside of an abandoned warehouse to a wide expanse of sky as they began to make their way back toward Hawks' agency. It had been a long day of staking out the area of an upcoming Hero Commission raid, but Songbird 2 was the last of the scouts still deployed. The blackbird's return would herald the end of your workday, and you were excited to finally be able to go home indulge in the carton of ice cream you'd been fantasizing about for hours.
"Home safe," the blackbird announced as it flew in through the window that had slid open automatically at their approach; the mechanism responding to the proximity sensor built into the standard Hawks style headgear each bird was equipped with.
"Thank goodness," you smiled, pulling off the tiny headset and visor and setting them to the side for cleaning later. "Your food dish is filled up and waiting."
"Corn?" The blackbird asked, fluffing up its feathers in excitement.
"Why don't you go check and see?"
The blackbird flew quickly towards the cubbyhole it had claimed for its own, one of many set into the large back wall; each filled with lovingly crafted nests and bright wooden toys. You heard the distant cry of 'Corn!' followed by a chorus of shushing sounds from the birds that had been pulled from sleep by the blackbird's delighted cry.
Shaking your head with an amused snort, you move to return to your desk to log out for the day, only to run headlong into Hawks' chest.
"ACK!" You screeched, reeling back in surprise from the impact.
"SHHHHH!" The wall of irritated birds hissed.
"Sorry!" You whispered sheepishly, channeling your embarrassment into making the glare you leveled at Hawks extra piercing.
"All done for the day?" Hawks asked, unmoved by your display of irritation.
"Yep. Everyone is back safe and sound, the surveillance footage has been submitted for review, and now all that remains is for me to clock out and head home," you said as you wandered over to your desk, dropping down into your swivel chair to exit out of the last handful of open programs you had running. "Do you need anything before I leave?"
"Can we chat? For just a little?" He asked as he leaned against your desk, putting far more faith in the structural integrity of the tempered glass than you do. "We haven't really had time to talk recently."
"I know," you groaned, heaving a deep sigh as you shoved your empty water bottle into the side pocket of your work bag. "I've just been so busy getting set up here and making sure the birds are acclimating well. And then this big stakeout dropped into my lap and it's just been so crazy-"
"Is that- are you okay here? I know Hero work is a lot sometimes and I just-," he paused, letting out a quiet huff. "I just want to make sure you're happy here."
"I am, I think. It's definitely more stressful than working at the rescue, but I feel like I have more purpose here? Like I'm more than just the person who talks to birds."
"Now you're the person who talks to birds with spy gear. "
"Exactly!" you laughed. "It's totally different."
"I'm glad you're happy," Hawks smiled, one of his real ones that crinkled his nose and made your knees a little weak. "I've been thinking about making some personal changes myself."
"Oh? What kind of changes?"
"Something like this," he mumbled heatedly, the shift in his tone prompting you to swivel both your head and chair in his direction.
And then suddenly, his lips were pressed to yours. Hopelessly chapped from hours of constant flying but oh so warm against your own. It was short and sweet, a simple sort of kiss; but it stirred up so many complex feelings you were used to keeping caged up inside your chest.
"That's quite the change," you whispered against his lips, trying to remember the exact sequence of steps required for breathing.
"It's been a long time coming, I think."
"I wholeheartedly agree. But I'm ah- not so sure I should be kissing my boss?" You remark apprehensively. "I really like both you and this job and don't want to risk losing either."
"We set you up to work as an independent contractor, so technically you're your own boss," Hawks assured you, hands clasping your waist as he moved to pull you in for a second kiss. "And even if it isn't allowed, I'd absolutely commit some bluebird- collar crimes for you."
"Hawks!" You huff, swatting at his shoulder in reprimand. "I can't believe you just ruined our first kiss with a bird pun."
"A kiss? No, that was just a peck ," Hawks chortled at your pained groan. "This is a kiss."
With a firm tug Hawks pulled your body flush with his as his lips descended, and with the fresh addition of his tongue and teeth you couldn't bring yourself to mind the puns all that much anymore.
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