#it's not a lie because RIVER believes it in that moment!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Women make up for the other 50% of Tumblr’s audience.

#it's not a lie because RIVER believes it in that moment!!!

sfehvn · 6 months

Text

new religion

Description: AU- Astarion is enamored by you, and while he fights it at first, he may have just found his new religion. A/N: Just a tad bit of sweet smut to be honest. This was my listen while I wrote if you were curious. Enjoy! xx Rating: M (18+ minors DNI) Word count: 2,069 Characters: soft!ascended!Astarion x fem!au!Tav

━─━────༺༻────━─━

From the moment Astarion had seen you, he knew he had to have you. Walking through the animated city of Baldur’s Gate, your radiant smile was the first thing that had caught his eye. Flowing hair kissed your shoulders adorned with freshly plucked daisies. Your aroma was the most intoxicating scent that had graced his nose in all of his years. Your rose-tinted cheeks teased with the blood flowing beneath your flawless skin. Your eyes sparkled with wonder, reflecting the rays of the sun above. He had never been a believer in the love at first sight nonsense, yet there you were. If his undead heart could beat, he was sure it would be skipping against his ribcage. It was the only time the vampire had found himself utterly speechless.

For months, he watched from afar, finding excuses to go into town. Not that he had to excuse anything to anyone, but the newfound feelings were frightening, to say the least. Alas, day after day Astarion went out, whether for a drink or an unnecessary shop trip, and he would wait to get even the slightest glimpse at you. He was aware that this obsession was snowballing out of his hands as he fell harder and deeper. Hells, he had never even spoken to you. Yet he knew nearly everything there was to know.

He knew every other day you made your way to the apothecary to pick up medicines for your sick father, whom you cared for. He knew once every fifth day, you picnicked in the graveyard next to your mother’s grave. He knew your favorite color was yellow because it reminded you of the summers you spent with your mother before her untimely passing. You had six siblings: an older brother and five young sisters.

Astarion had also realized that you had a death wish, apparently. You were constantly staying out past sundown, running errands or helping neighbors. Did you even comprehend the dangers? He would often think to himself. Of course he had to follow you home to ensure you made it inside safely. You were becoming a liability to him, and quite frankly, he was terrified of how you made him feel. Just when he had decided to end this one-sided arrangement, there you were. Sat on the side of the road with tears pooling rivers down your cheeks, his body felt out of his control as he approached you.

He stood in front of you, his words caught in his throat. You stared at him with those big doe-eyes, and his knees felt like jelly. “Are you alright?” He finally managed out. Gods, what am I doing? I should just sink my fangs into her and be done with it. It’s just bloodlust. This was something he had tried to convince himself of many times already- a lie.

“Oh, yes.” Voice sweet and smooth, like the finest honey gold could buy. “Just this silly book.” You giggled, holding up the novel you had previously been engrossed in before Astarion had found you.

“Right. Good.” He clears his throat in an attempt to regain his composure and still his spinning mind. “I’ll just be on my way then.” You nod, gifting that sweet smile to him. Astarion felt his legs would give out beneath him if he stayed longer, but he didn’t move an inch.

The man intrigued you, ruby red eyes and skin pale as the snow that fell during winter. He was gorgeous. An aura of mystery surrounded him, and you were keen to discover those mysteries. “Say, you live in that big fancy manor?” You question, breaking the awkward silence that had befallen you two.

“I do. Why?” Skepticism was palpable in his tone.

You disregarded his tone, and he believed it to be your naive nature. “You have the most exquisite daffodils blooming alongside your walls. I didn’t want to pick them without asking.” Your smile is sheepish, innocent. Astarion doesn’t speak, his face unreadable. “I-I enjoy putting bouquets together. I don’t mean to-” He already knew this, obviously.

“They are yours.” Astarion can’t contain the smile that tugs the sides of his lips.

As you two stroll to the location of said flowers, Astarion finds himself loosening up in your presence. He watches you intently, the way you move your hair from your face as you carefully pluck a few from the group. He urges you to take more.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be a bother. These are plenty.” You assure. In response, he crouches down next to you to help pluck the remaining flowers.

After walking you home, Astarion ordered flowers to be planted around the grounds. With the help of just a little magic, within weeks, roses, peonies, sunflowers, and carnations bloomed healthily. You would come with a fresh serving of food, a bouquet as thanks, and collect the flowers. As naive as you were, you could recognize what Astarion was doing. The daffodils were a one-off in that area, but now flowers surrounded the entirety of his property. The rate at which they grew, too; you were aware some effort went into getting them to blossom so hastily. At every mention of a new flower, the next time you came, they were miraculously in bloom.

This compromise had been in full swing for months when you finally questioned him about it. Astarion was on his knees as he snipped red roses from the bush, insistent on doing it himself so you didn’t prick yourself on a thorn. “Why are you doing this?” You question, a wicker basket that was already overflowing held firmly in your hands.

“I told you, you’ve nabbed yourself on these blasted thorns one too many times.” His reply came without a look in your direction as he continued to snip the stems.

“That’s not what I meant.” A soft chuckle emanates from behind closed lips. He looks up at you in realization, his hands coming to a halt. Your breath catches in your throat as he stares at you wordlessly, longingly. Standing slowly, he takes a step closer to you. He drops the roses into your basket before cupping your cheeks, closing the distance between your faces. The kiss is electric. You drop the basket to your feet, arms snaking around his neck while he presses your body tightly to his, clinging to you like a prayer. His lips were a colder temperature than you expected, but they were soft and hungry.

That’s how Astarion ended up with you in his bed. As he eagerly ripped the pale blue dress from your body, you took note of the bouquets around his bed chamber. Every single one you had gifted to him was on display and in perfect condition. Your heart flits in your chest, eyes closing in ecstasy as wet kisses trail up the inside of your thighs. A soft moan is elicited from you as his mouth reaches your warmth, his tongue flicking teasingly along your slit. Your fingers thread into his stark white hair, instinctually tugging with every contact against your clit. Colors explode behind your eyelids from the euphoric excitement.

He pulled away briefly, with his starving mouth against your thigh, he spoke muffled words, “I don’t think you realize how long I’ve been waiting to hear that, darling.” Your breathing quickens as you look down at him between your thighs with hooded, lustful eyes. His mouth returns to your clit and he suckles lightly, two fingers dipping into your dripping center. The sensation brings your back into an arch, aching to feel him deeper inside of you.

The swirling motion of his tongue brings you close to the edge, your legs shaking mercilessly. Astarion’s free hand moves between his torso and your legs, holding them steady as he continues his work on your body. Just as you are about to cum, he places a final kiss on your mound before his eyes meet yours. “You’re much naughtier than I thought.” He tsked, crooning his neck at you before moving up your body.

Your lips meet passionately, his tongue slipping effortlessly into your mouth to meet your own. He creates a gap between you as one hand holds him up, quickly removing his trousers and undergarments with his other hand. He pressed his bulge down onto your warmth, hitting your sweet spot as he grinds against you. “Do you taste how lovely you are?” He murmurs, plunging his tongue further into your mouth. You can only let out a delighted moan in response.

Once he breaks the kiss, you press your slippery core harder against his erection. “Please fuck me.” You whimper lustfully, “Please-” Your words are cut short by the sensation of him rubbing the head of his cock against your clit, causing a delicate moan to leave your throat.

“Fuck. You’re soaked, my darling.” He coos. As much as Astarion wanted to continue to play with your body, he needed to be buried in you as quickly as he possibly could. He slides the head of his member from your clit, pushing slowly into your welcoming embrace. He savors every sensation as he enters you. There is a momentary flicker of pain on your face as you adjust to his size, and he falters for a moment.

“Have you done this before?” He asks quietly, pressing his forehead to yours, avoiding your throat to save himself from temptation. He cursed himself inwardly for even asking; he shouldn’t care. This woman brought a side out of him he had never met before- a softer side. The scariest part is he actually, well, liked it.

You wavered for a second before shaking your head, confirming that he was indeed the first man to have ever been in such a position with you. The thought makes him feel feral. Such a sweet flower trusting someone like him to take your virtue; he would never admit it to anyone, but honor and pride swelled in his chest. He nodded in acknowledgment, “We’ll go slow, pet.” He reassures, hips rocking delicately into yours as he fills you with as much of him as he can manage without causing you discomfort. He lays a gentle kiss on your forehead as your pain turns into pleasure, still-shaking legs wrapping to engulf his hips.

“A-Astarion.” His name sounded like a hymn gracing his ears from your mouth, and he wanted to devour you right there and then. It took everything in him not to plow you into the bed. His hand rests on the bedframe as he finds a comfortable rhythm, eyes never leaving your face. He wanted to soak up every reaction to his touch.

“You drive me crazy, pet.” He grunts as his pace quickens, gripping the mahogany wood tighter at the magnetic pleasure buzzing through his body. He uses his free hand to effortlessly move you further up into a slightly seated position as his thumb once again finds your clit to draw purposeful eights over it.

“I-I’m- Oh my gods-” The moan is loud, music to his ears as your walls tighten around his cock.

“That’s right. Be a good girl and cum for me.” It’s a stern demand, all to mask just how close Astarion was himself. His words push you over the edge, your body clinging to his for support as the euphoria rushes over you. Every hair on your body standing on end, you throw your head back and scream Astarion’s name thrillfully.

With you coming undone, he allows himself to reach fruition, his seed filling you to the brim. His hand on the frame loosens, and his head hangs, face full of gratification. He looks down at you, pulling his now-soft member from you, a satisfied sigh leaving your lips as you stretch contently, much like a cat. Your eyes were droopy, a giddy smirk on your face as you fought to keep them open. Astarion chuckles, pressing another kiss to your lips. “You can sleep, my darling. I’ll wake you in a little.”

Astarion swore he felt the tiniest tinge of warmth in his heart at the sight of you so comfortable cuddled into his side as you dozed off. This could be a welcome change. Maybe his undead life just needed his very own light, his own sun. All he knew was that he was done fighting it. One weakness couldn’t hurt.

#ascended!astarion x tav #astarion x tav #ascended!astarion x reader #astarion x reader #soft!ascended!astarion #ascended astarion #astarion #smut #x reader #tav #reader #bg3

1K notes · View notes

flowerandblood · 29 days

Text

The Fall from the Heavens (19)

[ dark • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: mention of sex, manipulation, angst ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard

Lady Strong Moodboard

Lady Strong & Aemond Moodboard

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

She didn't have a clue what made her feel an unpleasant constriction in her stomach when she saw the Iron Throne out of the corner of her eye. She stopped, looking at it, standing in the half-light in the distance of the great throne room, illuminated only by the light of the torches.

She thought with pain and bitterness that everything that had happened, everything they had had to sacrifice and fight for, was only because of someone being able to sit on it and declare themselves the only legitimate ruler.

Greed flowed through the veins of Targaryens as much as fire and blood, she thought with dismay.

Sunk in her thoughts, she headed for the throne room, thinking in the back of her mind that even if her father and mother agreed to come to an agreement to build a truce on the foundation of their marriage, if she did not bear her uncle a son, her husband's faction would surely begin plotting against her mother despite the agreement.

Even if her husband remained faithful to her, she could never fully trust him, be sure that he was on her side.

The perpetual thought of betrayal was destroying her from the inside.

She knew that in a matter of days her moon bleeding should begin and she knew what it would mean.

Disappointment and danger.

This was why, every morning for the last few days, before she had even had time to truly wake up, she had sunk her hand between her thighs, feeling her insides clench with fear and terror as she sensed the moisture under her fingers, which then turned out to her relief to be only her wetness mingled with her husband's spend.

It made her draw in a loud breath and smile, for a moment believing that maybe a miracle would happen.

That the gods by making his seed take root in her womb would also indicate to the kingdom that what they wanted to do met with their approval.

Later in the day, however, all it took was for her to feel a discomfort in her lower abdomen, a slight sting or pain, a wetness between her thighs and a cold sweat would fall over her again. She would then lose her appetite and although she ate her morning meal in the presence of her husband, she would later lie that she had eaten a second meal during his training and duties.

She was unable to swallow anything out of fear.

She had the feeling that later when he took her, already as her legitimate husband, something inside her broke, all her terror, her doubts and despair spilled out of her like a rushing river.

She was afraid of his reaction, afraid of his certainty that it was impossible for them not to have succeeded in begetting an heir even though her whole body screamed that it could have been different, that it could be months or years before it happened, and they did not have that much time.

His words, however, took her completely by surprise.

You need to calm down.

Come to terms as I do with whatever the will of the heavens decides.

She didn't know why she suddenly felt burning tears under her eyelids, why her lower lip began to tremble, why her throat squeezed so tightly at the wonderful thought that he understood that no matter how much she begged the gods for their mercy, she had no control over what would happen.

He let her know that whatever would come to pass, he would not blame her.

That he would consider it the will of the gods and not her failure.

She made love to him for the second time that night in his chamber, the embrace of his strong arms tighter than usual, the touch of his hands more tender, his lips finding hers again and again in sticky, greedy kisses as the deep thrusts of his hips forced his swollen manhood into her.

Even though she was a prisoner, she felt free, even though her enemy was taking her, she felt safe, even though some part of her thought it a betrayal, she loved him deeper than ever before.

Her lover.

Her husband.

Her friend.

She hadn't understood when she was still a child how important was the bond they had created then, the long hours they spent at night in conversation, in discussions, sometimes even arguments, after which, however, they always found each other again, realizing that they didn't have to agree on all issues.

She realised, lying with her face cuddled into his naked chest, holding her hand over his lazily beating heart, enveloped tightly in his arms with her legs entwined with his, that although at the time, in the context of their future marriage, what they were doing seemed unimportant, it appeared that it was in fact the foundation of everything that had happened between them many years later.

Had it not been for the trust and affection they had for each other then, they would not have been able to find their way in this reality that faced them now.

"I am truly fond of you, uncle." She said softly, sitting in one of the chairs in his chamber facing him, similarly engrossed in her reading, swinging her legs that did not reach the ground. She realised, looking at him out of the corner of her eye, that she had never told him this and she was not sure he had ever heard such words from anyone.

He lifted his gaze to her and furrowed his eyebrows, as if for a moment he did not understand what she had said; his face expressed consternation and embarrassment, as if he was unsure whether he should respond as a man to such a confession.

However, he apparently decided after a moment that since it was not an overwhelming confession of girlish deep love, but a simple expression of affection, he could also express his opinion on the matter.

"Well…I'm fond of you too." He replied cautiously and grunted, turning back to his book, pretending to concentrate on his reading with all his might – she could see the vein in his neck pulsing rapidly, betraying his excitement.

"What do you appreciate most about me? I, for one, value in you that you know so many things and always listen to me attentively. When I don't know something, you don't mock me but explain everything to me. I like it when you teach me and when you look at my embroidery, when you choose the ones you find most beautiful. I am very grateful then." She said quickly on one exhale, swallowing loudly, overjoyed that he had responded to her words, wanting to take advantage of this and convey to him as much as possible at once, which of course overwhelmed him as he did not look at her for a moment, pressing his lips into a thin line.

It seemed to her that he was trying to hold back a smile, but she didn't know why.

He did a lot of things she didn't understand and refrained from emotional statements or gestures, however, it didn't bother her.

That was just the way he was.

She heard him swallow hard, gathering up the courage to reply something, pretending to look at what he was reading, although she was sure his mind was just analysing everything she had told him carefully.

"Well. I must admit that I also appreciate in you that you never mock me and listen attentively to what I have to say. I am fond of your presence, simply put." He muttered, clearly feeling that he was drowning more and more with every word he spoke, settling back in his chair a little, lifting his book higher, not wanting her to look at his face any longer.

She smiled contentedly then, happy, and went back to her reading without disturbing him any further.

She remembered that day exactly, for when she had escaped to him as she did every night, hiding under his bedclothes, she had fallen asleep almost immediately, tired after her long day full of duties. He waited apparently for her to fall asleep, hoping she wouldn't feel it as his hand touched her cheek, as his lips pressed against hers in a warm, soft, tender kiss.

She didn't move or open her eyes, feeling the heat in her lower abdomen, her heart began to pound like mad with delight, for he had never kissed her first before, never kissed her like this before.

She thought of that night and that day as she watched him standing on the other side of the chamber in the morning, his servant helping him dress his black, leather tunic while her maid tied the bodice of her gown.

Their gazes met for a moment and she saw him sigh heavily, unhappy at the thought of what awaited them.

Borros Baratheon.

The Lord of Storm's End appeared in King's Landing at midday, accompanied by his son and his daughter, who it was agreed was to marry her husband. The King called a gathering in the throne room, at which she and her uncle were also to be present, to try to face the consequences of their somewhat joint decision together.

She and her husband stepped into a great hall with tall windows with seven-pointed stars through a side entrance. She swallowed loudly when she caught sight of the silhouette of a postured man, his beard, hair and thick black eyebrows furrowed in disapproval and rage at the sight of her, his lips clenched as much as his fists. Her gaze fled to the right, to the girl standing next to him.

Maris Baratheon lifted her chin higher at the sight of her, struggling to hide the expression of frustration and disappointment in her eyes, clearly hoping that the woman who had stolen her prince would be an ordinary and bland girl, standing in the shadow of her dragon husband.

She, however, had specifically ordered her servants to leave her hair loose, for although when she was a child its colour had driven her to despair, now she saw it as her advantage – her dark and shiny curls fall in gentle waves down her exposed back, accentuating her fair skin and bare shoulders.

Her gown was modest, black and matte, with floral ornaments embroidered in gold threads on her chest, her sleeves reaching all the way down to the ground.

Anyone looking at them from afar could have the impression that her choice of attire was no accident, even more so standing next to her husband clad in a black leather tunic.

They looked alike.

Their evidence of unity and intimacy, a wordless expression of their bond.

She wondered if she could see from a distance the previously red and now slightly purple bruise on her neck, a reminder of her husband's greedy lips, and if she was aware of what it meant.

She pressed her lips together at the thought, trying not to smile and provoke her.

Although she couldn't call her ugly or rejecting, there was something harsh in her facial expression and posture – her elaborate hairstyle with her hair slicked back was perhaps fashionable, but it didn't suit her beauty or her face shape. Her gown, though rich, did not emphasise her assets, whatever they might be.

She thought she wanted to look haughty, to show her that while she was a lady of a respectable house, she was a mere bastard, even if the child of a princess.

Everyone turned their gazes towards the main gates when one of the guards announced the King himself; her uncle stepped into the throne room confidently without bestowing even a single glance on Borros Baratheon, Aegon the Conqueror's crown shone on his head in the glare of light trickling through the stained glass filled windows.

She felt her heart pound like mad as her uncle took his place on the throne, her mother's throne, and she clenched her eyelids, reminding herself that he had extended a hand of truce and that if she wanted the matter of succession to end bloodlessly, she had to control herself and give him respect.

She glanced out of the corner of her eye at her husband and swallowed loudly, seeing that he stood upright like a stone, all tense, his hands clasped behind his back, his silhouette expressing the same passive aggression she had felt from him when she appeared in the Red Keep after many years.

He was prepared for battle.

He was prepared to kill.

"My Lords. We are gathered here today to address a sensitive matter. Lord Borros Baratheon and his house have suffered an insult and have come to demand justice. My Lord." Aegon nodded, extending his hand, with this gesture showing him that he was allowing him to speak.

Lord Baratheon walked closer to the throne, followed by his heir and his daughter, her gaze full of poison and rage still fixed on her.

She did not look away.

She had no intention of giving her satisfaction.

"I have come to demand that the honourable Prince Aemond keep his mother's word and marry my daughter, Maris, according to his choice. I witnessed his arrival and that he confirmed in my presence my arrangements with the crown. Yet word has reached me that the Prince has secretly married another woman in a barbaric ceremony." Borros growled, his voice tubular and hoarse, full of strength and determination. She swallowed hard, feeling a squeeze in her stomach, a shiver of discomfort ran down her spine at his words.

She glanced at her husband feeling him move beside her restlessly, enraged, his lips pressed into a thin line.

He tried to remain silent and not explode.

Aegon nodded at his words with understanding.

"I understand your bitterness, my Lord. Indeed, our mother forced my brother to comply with her will. However, in my presence and that of our entire family, our father, and your King to whom you vowed, during the supper before his death, announced his will to us.

He conveyed to us that he was keeping the betrothal between my brother and my niece in force, foreseeing the division that would occur in the kingdom once he left this world. After his death, my mother imprisoned my niece and ordered my brother to fly to Storm's End.

Therefore, as you understand, my Lord, the case substituted in this light clearly proves that his decision could not have been in force, for as far as I am aware, it is the King's decision, not the Queen's, which is the final one." Said Aegon with a lightness that shocked both her and her husband.

She could not believe how good a speechmaker he was, with what ease he played with facts and half-truths, creating a image in which, indeed, his brother was in a no-win situation and their nuptials were an act of honour and a fulfilment of their late father's will.

Lord Baratheon drew in a loud breath, furious, his face all red with emotion.

"Are we to accept this insult in silence, then? They did not marry in the presence of witnesses, they did not marry in the Sept, so their marriage is invalid. I demand justice for myself and my daughter." He hissed, Aegon raised his hand, ordering him to be silent.

"I understand the source of your anger, my Lord. However, you have a right not to know that last night my brother married my niece in the presence of myself and my wife before the Septon, who prepared the appropriate act, and their marriage is valid in the eyes of the realm.

I recognise, however, the injustice that has befallen you and my brother has decided to donate part of his annual income as a dowry for your daughter. In addition, you or your son, that I leave to you, will be granted a seat on the Small Council in place of my grandfather, whose decisions led to this…misfortune."

He said softly; Borros pressed his lips together at his words, looking at Aegon with piercing eyes, clearly not knowing himself what he thought of what he had heard.

He hesitated.

After a moment, however, a woman's voice echoed in the throne room.

"It is impossible, my King. No one will marry a woman who has already been touched by another man. The Prince has taken my maidenhood."

All gathered began to speak loudly, shocked by her words – she felt her heart leap into her throat, her stomach squeezed so tightly that she had trouble catching her breath.

She and Aegon looked at her uncle at the same moment, her husband standing as if stunned, his healthy eye wide open, his mouth parted in disbelief. After a moment, however, his shock was replaced by an expression of anger and fury, he took a step forward like a lion about to lash out at its prey.

"Lie." He growled, the voices of conversation and disbelief all around them even louder, the King twisted in his throne, completely not expecting this turn of events.

"How can we be sure that it was my brother who deprived you of your…virtue, my Lady?" He asked quickly, wanting to turn her confession against her, in case it appeared that her uncle was guilty, to accuse her of being able to be taken by any other man.

She lowered her gaze, breathing loudly through her mouth, feeling the cold sweat run down the back of her neck, her hands clenched on her womb quivering as much as her body.

No, he would never have done something like this.

He wouldn't deprive a woman of her maidenhood knowing he wouldn't marry her.

Was she sure of that?

Maybe he took her as his wife that night because he felt remorse after betraying her?

She felt tears of despair welling up under her eyelids at that thought, feeling that for a moment she was in the throne room with only her body, no longer seeing the proud look of Maris who grinned seeing the expression on her face.

"I ran after the Prince once he wanted to leave. He took me in one of the corridors of our fortress against my will." She said without a shadow of embarrassment, as if dragging him down behind her was more important to her than her own honour.

She wanted to become his wife, the Prince's wife at any cost.

"Maris, good gods…" Mumbled her father, looking at her in disbelief, all red with shame at her confession, shocked as the others by what had left her mouth, knowing full well that she was not telling the truth.

"Disgusting lies. I followed my nephew out the stronghold and returned to the Red Keep to fulfil my duty to my father that same night. It was not your maidenhood I took then, shameless woman." He growled, and she felt heat in her heart and a burst of pride at his words.

Even though he had used lie against lie − after all, she was no longer a maiden then − the way Lord Baratheon's daughter swallowed her saliva, the way her body shivered under the weight of his words made her lift her chin, looking at her with superiority.

Insolent whore.

Aegon raised his hands in the air, clearly amused by the situation, ordering everyone to remain silent.

"As I see it, opinions are divided on what happened. Lord Baratheon is a party. Is there anyone else who could confirm your version of events, my Lady?" He asked lightly; the girl looked at him breathing heavily, her hands clenched on her lower abdomen. Aegon looked to the side, directing his gaze to his brother.

"And you, brother, can anyone confirm your words?"

"My nephew." He answered without hesitation.

She swallowed hard, reminding herself that he had, after all, allowed her to meet her brother, and the king wasn't aware of it.

That he could be accused of treason, lose Aegon's support.

"We exchanged a few unpleasant sentences before I returned to King's Landing. Only a brief moment passed between the time he left and our conversation. Certainly not enough for even the most desperate man to possess a woman."

"Who will believe the words of a traitor? Was it not he who took away your eye, my Prince? Did he take something else from you along with it?" She asked mockingly, her father looked at her in horror, his lips forming a silent, warning 'enough'.

She heard her husband draw in his breath loudly, his knuckles clicking in his fingers as he squeezed them as hard as if he wanted to break them himself.

"You were there, my Lord. You know that she did not run after me, and even if she had, she would have gained nothing. I chose her because she was most different from my wife. Lest she might ever think that I could lust after your daughter." He replied with a cold, deep hiss that echoed through the throne room.

She felt a wave of delightful satisfaction run down her body, and though she knew her husband's cruel words might have cost them everything, the look of disbelief on Maris' face was more than worth it.

Did she really believe that he had chosen her because she was the most beautiful of her sisters?

That he could ever desire her when she, his childhood friend, his confidante and lover was by his side?

"I do not know what I saw." Borros replied, however, without his previous confidence, not looking at him or the King, apparently trying with his last strength to protect his and his daughter's honour. Her husband snorted at these words.

"Pathetic." He sneered quietly, not daring to say it out loud; it seemed to her that his whole figure was trembling.

He was furious.

"If I were your daughter, I would be wary of such far-fetched accusations without any evidence or witnesses, my Lord. Some might call it as treason." Aegon replied, spreading out comfortably on his throne.

She couldn't believe some part of her admired him for how he was playing with the situation while still keeping what was happening under control.

Lord of Storm's End did not respond to his words.

Aegon's words were the nail in the coffin of whatever plan Lord Baratheon's daughter had in her head, and after her humiliating outburst, Borros agreed to the terms set by the king himself and the amount of her dowry, which her uncle-husband would pay out of his purse.

She watched with satisfaction and an involuntary smile on her lips as Lord Baratheon and his daughter were forced to sign the terms of the agreement imposed on them by her uncle.

Borros left the throne room like a storm, furious, without even bowing to Aegon, to which he only responded with an amused expression on his face.

Maris didn't dare look at her anymore, her face pale, from a distance she could see how red her eyes were from tears.

She wished to be a princess in a beautiful castle.

She could be his Rhaenys, but she had no intention of allowing any Visenya into their lives.

Even if it was one night in ten, she couldn't bear the thought of having to share him.

Fortunately, her husband was as possessive as she was.

The smile disappeared from her face as she felt an unpleasant, familiar stinging sensation inside her lower abdomen.

She clamped her hand over her womb as something warm and sticky ran down her thigh, a whine of despair and pain stuck in her throat as she pressed her lips together.

She took a step backwards, revealing the stone floor under her feet, and noticed a few drops of crimson liquid on it.

She was bleeding.

232 notes · View notes

oftidheard · 5 months

Note

oop coryo x reader where reader is his gf before the lucy gray thing and lucy kills her at some point (she’s not a tribute) which is why he hates lucy and why he turns evil

i tweaked this a little because i love lucy gray and don't want to fall victim to villainising the canon love interest, hopefully it still works ♡ general warning as always for just coriolanus himself, as well as blood & death. + gn reader because gender descriptors never came up

❄ i turn into dust, but you never stop trying ㅤ⠀coriolanus snow x reader ㅤ⠀↳ 1.1k ↳ angst ↳ gender neutral

your swift footsteps approach coriolanus once you see that his tribute has wondered off to get a proper look at the arena, just as your own has. he notices you almost immediately — he's always had the uncanny ability to know even just when you've entered a room — and meets your eyes.

a moment later you're stood close to him, a hand reaches for his own accompanied by desperate whispers.

"you need to convince lucy gray to ally with sol," you beg, having broached the topic with your boyfriend earlier but always ended with the same fact that he was certain lucy gray would not cooperate with such a plan; allying with the frail girl from district five.

"she'll never survive on her own, but she's not useless, coryo. no one else will want her, but with lucy gray she'd be safe."

coriolanus takes a breath, wrapping his hand around yours in a slight comforting gesture, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth barely downturned, in thought.

he knows, deep down, that if you asked enough, that if you started to cry and he had to watch tears roll down your cheeks; he'd give in. even if it was just a lie, even just to falsely promise you something so you aren't vexed late at night. he knows he'd do it, for you, but he also knows you're not going to make a scene about this, nor rest the fate of your relationship with him on whether his tribute assists yours.

coriolanus sighs and ghosts a finger across your jawline, "i've already asked her," a lie — he truly believes there's no point in an endeavour he knows lucy gray will reject, "but i will again," a truth. if you're lucky.

you let out a deep breath and nod, your worry still causing you to lean back and forth on the balls of your feet and remain unable to control the river of overthinking running through your head, but coriolanus's presence is starting to calm you down.

your head meets his chest for a moment as you try to reassure yourself that everything's okay, his thumb running over your hand quietly, and the shield the two of you have created around yourselves drowns out any other worries. you only lift your head seconds later when the real world floods back in and you give him a small smile — ingenuine, but a sign to say that you'll be okay.

you turn around to walk further to the centre of the arena, crossing the bold designs to where you see sol on the outskirts of most of the other tributes, who appear to be forming teams and deciding enemies. you just hope until coriolanus talks to lucy gray again, that the others simply view your tribute as too weak to be a threat. that feels like the only way she could have a chance at this rate.

your shoes echo against the ground, and you catch other mentor's conversations in passing as you quickly pass the centre of the arena displaying a welcoming smile to sol — who's now noticed your return — when you feel a shift.

you register the rumbling in your chest before your recognise that your feet are no longer on the ground, that you've been flung through the air.

all there is now is the ringing in your ears and the dull thud of your head hitting the ground, the tingling feeling running down your spine and the numbness growing in your right leg.

it's like you have all the time in the world as you force yourself to sit up, like you're stuck in slow motion and if you were to stop and smell the roses for a moment, the world would let you take the little break until you're ready to face your fate again.

not far behind from where your hand searches the back of your head for traces of blood, and your brain slowly starts to register the speed of your heartbeat in tune with the sounds of screams surrounding you, lies coriolanus.

his mind is overcome with the need to survive, up until the moment lucy gray frees his body from beneath the pillar and his eyes flicker across the arena only to land on you; leant over your still trapped leg, almost surrounded by flames ready to swallow you.

his breathing grows ragged not from the physical exertion nor the growing clouds of smoke; but from the realisation that if you don't free your leg within the next blink of an eye, the carnage will claim you, and you'll die.

coriolanus doesn't consciously make the choice to step further into the destruction — if he were thinking logically, if he couldn't see the blood flowing from the back of your delicate head, he'd probably turn and run; save himself. but his feet keep drawing him towards you.

debris is still falling around him as he picks up the pace on his shaky legs, when a hand from behind grabs his wrist, immediately trying to furiously tug him back.

coriolanus turns to find lucy gray behind him, hair amess and eyes wide in terror, her lips moving as her pull on his arm never ceases, but he cannot hear a word she says.

he yells something to her not even loud enough for his own ears, something that screams of you, that you're dying just steps away and the longer he stands here the quicker you'll succumb.

lucy gray's eyebrows furrow in recognition, but still she gestures to the exit and pulls on coriolanus's arm. he shakes his head, and tries to pull away against the weak girl who shouldn't even be a match against himself.

but as he tries to run, something roars above; a crack like lightning followed by the roof almost caving in.

this throws the pair back, still upright but unsteady, and blocks coriolanus's view of you in a flash.

his attention is far too focused on the debris that separates you from him, to even begin to fight against lucy gray's force again.

he finds something inside him take over, and his feet run quick with lucy gray until they reach the gates of the arena. but even as he runs, coriolanus's mind fixates on the warm hand of the girl beside him and how her touch all of a sudden disgusts him. the firm hold of the girl who can't not have seen your body slowly losing its life just ahead of her, the girl who is more than perceptive enough to know you meant something to the boy.

lucy gray is the girl who in some nauseous way is the reason you aren't running out of this arena with him now. lucy gray is the girl — if even for a moment that coriolanus will undoubtedly soon bury away deep where it cannot affect him — that he no longer feels the overwhelming desire to keep alive.

coriolanus thinks, as he and her survive the fray, that he wants lucy gray baird dead for what she did to you.

#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus x reader #tbosas x reader #the ballad of songbirds and snakes x reader #the hunger games x reader #the hunger games x you #the hunger games x y/n #thg x reader #❤︎ — the mockingjay sings

539 notes · View notes

pacifymebby · 9 months

Note

Hello❤️ if your requests were still open I was wondering if you'd do peaky blinders headcannons for some of the blinders (it doesn't have to be all if you don't want to do them all) but for them and a female reader who they get put into an arranged marriage with and after they get married they find out she already has a baby or young child? You totally don't have to do it if you don't want to or aren't comfortable with it!! I blame the idea on my current baby fever 😂😂 You're amazing and I hope you're doing well❤️❤️

Tommy

🌿 Going to be surprised but quietly impressed you kept it from him so well. He did his research into you and nothing about a baby came up.

🌿He will however be angry with you and your family because you weren't honest with him. He won't confrobt you immediately however you will notice the change in his mood. How cold and harsh he is to you. You don't know it but every time he shoots you one of those icy unforgiving stares, he's contemplating going to war with your family over it.

🌿At first he believes you have betrayed him, he sees it as your family trying to insult his family.

🌿Won't feel sorry for you despite knowing you didn't want to be married to him. You had the opportunity to be honest with him and for whatever reasons you lied to him too.

🌿However, there's no screaming or shouting, he doesn't threaten you. Honestly every time he looks at you he thinks he could hit you, thinks he could kill you and each deceitful bastard family member you have. The only reason he doesn't is because he doesn't want to act without knowing the truth.

🌿He's angry because someones tricked him, it doesn't matter that its you, doesn't matter the lie, he's just angry someone managed to trick him and every time he looks at you he feels that nauseating rage build inside him... And its because of this he can't confront you. He can't risk being deceived again...

🌿So he has to bide his time, the whole time treating you so cold and unforgiving. He hardly says a word to you, won't stop fixing you with that hateful glare... You feel so alone in that big house and you cry yourself to sleep every night. Tommy watches as you pale and thin and he doesn't feel a shred of guilt because until he learns the truth about you he believes that this is the bed you've made for yourself. That you deserve misery.

🌿But then he does learn the truth. He fibds out exactly why you have that baby, what happened to you, why your family were so keen to sell you down the river and marry you off to any old birmingham criminal they could.

🌿Suddenly he feels terribly guilty, he feels like a fucking fool and suddenly all that anger directed at you will be turned in on himself. He's made a fucking horrible mess of your life and he has things he needs to fix, but the first thing he does is call you into his office...

🌿You're terrified, literally trembling as you stand opposite him barely able to look him in the eyes. You worked out weeks ago that he must know about the child and now you're terrified of what he's going to say to you. You know he isnt affraid of killing, for a moment you're terrified he's hurt your baby...

🌿Before he's even said a word you've crumbled, your sob catching in your throat and then bursting from your chest untameable. He feels his heart break to look at you, you're distraught and in part he knows its his fault for being such a cruel bastard.

🌿 He stands up, let out a small sigh and approaches you carefully. When he touches you you flinch and cry harder and it breaks his heart.

🌿 With his hands on your shoulders trying to guide you into a hug he will apologise to you, "S'alright love, I know what happened yeah, know what they've done to you angel, you're safe now and always will be... Know about your baby too but don't..."

🌿"I'm sorry Tommy, don't hurt her please! I'm so fuckin sorry I... I..." you try your best but you just choke on your apology and can't get the words out. You're trembling in his arms when he finally pulls you in against his chest.

🌿"Hush y/n, shh, it's alright now, alls forgiven, you don't need to say anythin now yeah, alls forgiven..."

🌿He will apologise to you there and then, holding you so tenderly, his arms around you, his thumb stroking your shoulder, his chin resting in your hair as he rocks and calms you carefully.

🌿"S'alright angel, s'alright, no ones hurting your little girl I promise... I understand that we lie sometimes eh? We do bad things to protect ourselves and the ones we love, so I understand why you lied to me alright, I do..."

🌿 "All is forgiven now and I'm gonna bring your little one home yeah, gonna bring her home to her mam and dad but I ask one thing of you yeah, just this one thing angel, you an me we're married now, husband and wife, and we may not have married for love but we made those vows before god and so we must keep them, to have an to hold, for better for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish... Now I promised you those things and I intend to keep my promise... All I ask of you is that you be honest with me now yeah? No more lies, only truth..."

🌿He'll tell you that he wants to help you, wants to help you get your little girl back, wants to help you get revenge on all the people who have wronged you. He'll offer to make sure you never have to see your father who split you and the baby up, sold you off to an evil man.

🌿 "There there y/n, it's all alright now, I know you're a good girl, know you didn't want any of this, an I bet you've been so scared all this time eh? Terrified of everythin thats happened, no one to talk to about it... Terrified of me too?" he'll be stroking his fingers through your hair, holding you so delicately that its impossible for you to remember why you were ever scared of him. "Well you ain't gonna be scared anymore sweetheart... I promise, you ain't ever gonna be scared no more."

🌿He really will keep his promise, the Shelbys are a family of misfits and he'll welcome you and the child into the heart of the family. He'll raise your little girl as his own, and will probably insist upon lying to the child so that she doesn't have to know the true evils of her real father... Not that Tommy thinks hes any less bad really.

🌿He spoils your little girl rotten too, she's a real daddy's girl. He knows the darkness she was born of and into and wants to give her everything all little girls deserve, a good life with no rain. He also probably remembers little Ruby and views your daughter as the second chance he never thought he'd get.

🌿And though you may have been scared of him to begin with, the care, generosity and devotion he shows you leave you weak at the knees and almost dependent on him. You think the sun shines out of him and see him as your only hope in a dark world, the man who offered you kindness and forgiveness when you needed it the most. He picked you up off your feet when you were vulnerable and held you like a little bird with a broken wing. You won't hear a bad word said against him.

🌿You definitely do grow to love him and I believe he grows to love you too, what starts as him trying to do the right thing becomes this mutual respect and admiration, becomes adoration the more he gets to know you, how sweet and kind and good you are. He probably also appreciates your intelligence and understanding which you gained from having such a dark start in life.

Alfie

🐻 Isn't against arranged marriages when it comes to keeping Jewish women safe with Jewish men... Especially when there are so many predatory Shelby esque cunts out there who would take advantage of the young and naive. However, Alfie is against arranged marriages when its "marrying your terrified young daughter off to a mean old man to make peace with a rival gang..." which is what this is...

🐻 So he doesn't want to marry you and honestly doesnt have much respect for your parents who he thinks essentially traded you in for a few quid.

🐻 When your father had come to him, offering his daughter as a bride to clear his debts, Alfie really had considered shooting the cunts head clean off. The only reason he hadn't was the thought of you...

🐻 He'd seen you around Camden Town a few times, you worked in the bakery he often walked by and from what he remembered you were far too young for your father to be offering you up like that. You were practically still a child...

🐻 And that's why he accepted the offer. Because he knew that if he didn't you'd end up getting roped into all kinds of awful things by your shameless fuck of a father... There were other, less respectable ways a man could sell his daughter to clear his debts and he could tell just by having looked at you that those things would kill you.

🐻 On the day before your wedding, the first day he gets to speak to you he gives you this little speech. He comes to see you before you are married, which is bad luck in all cultures but apparently a wide soread myth among Jewish communities, which is exactly what he tells you when you try to hide yourself away from him.

🐻 "Now trust me zieskiet, see these," he'd tap his eye glasses and push them slightly down his nose as he looks at you seriously, "I only wear em when I need to read somet very carefully, and before I came to see you today I tripple checked right because I wouldn't want to do anything to give you anymore rotten luck eh, think you've had quite enough if that eh, can't get much worse than this here deal you've already been dealt can it? Now... Its a technicality perhaps but, it ain't mentioned anywhere in Talmudic literature yeah, neither any medieval writings what I could find either yeah... Its what you'd call a myth zieskiet... And that poppet, is very lucky because I've got a few things I'd like to say to you now yeah, just a few important things alright?"

🐻 He'd pull out a chair and gesture for you to sit down, this is Alfie we're talking about, even he knows he isn't going to be quick about this.

🐻 But he talks really gently to you, very seriously, but very gently.

🐻 "Right then, yeah, a few things I need to say to you now the night before our wedding day, our wedding day which is tomorrow yeah..."

🐻 "I know you're scared of me, don't blame you to be honest, I'd be scared, no, fucking terrified if someone told me I had to marry this mean old man yeah... Cause its true ain't it, I am mean, and I am old yeah, but I ain't ever gonna be mean to you,"

🐻 "Actually darlin whats gonna happen is this yeah, tomorrow when we have our nissu'in right, and then every day and night after that for the rest of our shared life together, I'm gonna look after you yeah, gonna take good care of you an thats a promise right?" the whole time hes talking you're just looking back at him speechless, a little confused and very very uncertain because you've heard so many terrying things about this man, that he's insane, that he's ruthless... And lets face it he isn't exactly coming off sane right now...

🐻 "This here right now yeah, this is me Alfie Solomons promising you y/n l/n that I'm gonna take proper care of you yeah, I ain't gonna hurt you, ain't gonna be cruel alright, won't force you to do anything you don't want to do... I don't expect you to fall in love with this ugly mug of mine yeah, I ain't gonna force you..." he looks right into your eyes then, holding both your hands in his, so serious that you have to trust him. You can see he isn't lying but it only makes you more nervous because you knew he wouldn't be promising you these things if he knew about the terrible deception your family were tryibg to pull off behind his back.

🐻 You feel so guilty then, you hadn't at first because you'd believed him to be just as bad as your father and brothers who were forcing you into this situation. The ones who had taken your child from you and threatened you with her life if you dared tell a soul.

🐻 But this man is so different from all the stories you'd heard, he's being so kind to you. The first man who has been kind to you for quite awhile. And you're still so naive, you want to trust him so badly, you want to believe you really don't need to be scared...

🐻 When Alfie sees the tears escape your eyes he doesnt understand, he thinks he's done something wrong and he panics and drops to his knees holding your hands and looking up at you, desperate to sooth you, he can't believe he's gone and made it worse.

🐻 "What's the matter poppet, what have I said?" but you just shake your head and try to hide your face in your hands scared to tell him the truth, your voice shaking when the words leave your lips. "Theres... Theres a child... A baby..." for a moment he thinks you're telling him you really are only a child and he launches into another speech about how its alright, he's only marrying you to save you from being married off to someone else...

🐻 "Zieskiet, stop crying little one, stop now eh, shh, I just told you didn't I, my only intention is to look after you, so you're only a littlen right you can stay a littlen I ain't gonna force you to be a woman yeah, I'm gonna..." "No!" you sob then, shaking and completely distraught and panicked then because he doesn't understand and he's not listening, "I'm not a child Mr Solomons, I have a child! I've a baby girl and... And... Oh god they're going to kill us both if I tell anyone and now I've told you, they're... My poor girl..." you cry into your hands, Alfie just watching you completely dumbfounded.

🐻 If he thought he lacked respect for your father before he has none left now. Now he really does wish he'd blown the cunts head off...

🐻 He sighs, takes your hands from your eyes and holds them in his, stroking your palms with his thumbs as he speaks.

🐻 "Now see, none of what you've just said yeah, none of that changes anythin of what I've just said... Everything I promised you just now yeah, all of that still stands, seems to me little zieskiet that you are a very scared, very sad little girl yeah, you and your baby need someone to take care of you both alright, someone who will keep you both safe and sound right and that someone yeah, that someones me..."

🐻 He can't hide the disgust at finding out you're a mother, you're so young... how the fuck have you got a child... He has his suspicions however and vows that after the wedding, when he has both you and your little one safe and sound, he'll pay your father another visit... Find out the truth once and for all, set a few things straight, get a little revenge.

🐻 He'll be so gentle with you, will take the baby in and let everyone believe it's his. He will take such good care of both of you. He probably won't even ask many questions of you if he gets the impression that you don't want to talk about what you've been through.

🐻 He'll ask if the father was a good man or not but he's already maade his mind up that unless the mans dead he cant be good cause he abandoned you and your daughter.

🐻 He never really thought he'd be a father, never thought he'd have a family... Always blamed it on his line of work, that it was better to be lonely and not risk losing anyone you loved, but he likes the family he's got now. Actually he loves them.

🐻 He has a fatherly protective sense of duty towards you both and you look to him as your saviour, the only person in the world you'll ever trust. He's so gentle and kind to you, and has demonstrated on more than one occasion that he'd kill and be killed for you and your little girl... That despite that "ugly mug" which you don't actually find ugly at all by the way, you can't help but want him as yours.

🐻 Its one of those "plenty of time to fall in love after the wedding" situations. Over time you adore him and want nothing more than to devote yourself to him.

🐻 Alfie will be such a good father. Sure it will be in that classic grumpy old man kind of way, always fretting about you and the baby, wanting to provide for you both, worrying about your safety, worrying that you'll get sick, worrying that you're not happy etc... He will be totally devoted to you, he'll grow to love the child as if she's his own and he'll love you too.

🐻 And he'll stand by his promise too, he doesn't force you to love him, doesn't force you to be intimate with him, and the first time you kiss him he's so stunned by your delicate fingers tracing the scar on his cheek that he blushes. When your lips touch his he puts a finger to your lips abd reminds you again, "zieskiet you don't have to pretend what did I tell you..."

🐻 "Fuck what you told me I ain't pretending nothin..."

Arthur

🍂 Tommy is forcing Arthur to get married because he thinks it'll force him to get over Linda. His brother thinks it will force him to get his head together once and for all and he pitches the deal to arthur as a clean slate, a fresh start with a pretty face.

🍂 But arthurs a bit uneasy about it, he doesn't believe for a second that anyone would ever want to marry him. No one in there right mind at least.

🍂 "And this girl eh brother... What's wrong with her that she's agreein to all this..." "I don't know what you mean brother..." says Tommy trying to feign naivety, but he knows what Arthurs getting at and knows his brothers skirting close to the truth.

🍂 "You know what I mean Tommy don't get stupid with me brother, you're the clever one ain't you... I've got a reputation haven't I... Now who the fucks giving their daugther away to a fuckin monster like me..."

🍂 And he's right about that reoutation, you are absokutely petrified of him. On your wedding day you're shaking and you can't keep the tears from your eyes. You do well to hold most of them back but Arthur sees them caught in your lashes. You look so sad and so scared and it hurts him to see you like that, knowing he's the root of that fear.

🍂You seem so gently and sweet, so timid. When you say your vows your voice is so wuiet, you're like a littke mouse or a baby bird. So pretty abd shy.

🍂 And Arthurs not exactly s genlte man, he's clumsy and awkward and he's always louder than he means to be, and somehow your shyness only makes that worse. He feels even clumsier and rougher around you and he's so painfully selfconcious because he doesn't want to scare you at all.

🍂 So he has to try and show you his soft side, which he isn't sure he actually has. He tries to ask Tommy for advice but his brother doesn't take him seriously, just shrugs and laughs him off, tells him "if you're so scared of the girl you don't have to speak to her at all... Consumate your marriage and never speak to her again..." but that thought horrifies Arthur who shakes his head and gets frustrated, "Nah, nah Tommy that ain't right, thats fuckin cruel Tom..."

🍂 So he asks Ada who laughs at him but, because she feels sorry for you - she remembers how scared you look the day you got married - she does her best to offer her brother some advice, advice about minding his coarse language, not raising his voice, not knocking furniture over or breaking olates when he's drunk and angry.

🍂 And polly gives him some advice too, about how to hold a hand without squeezing too tight, about how to touch a woman's cheek delicately, how to brush her hair behind her ear without poking her in the eye or making her flinch...

🍂 Arthur takes this advice very seriously and tries so so hard to be a gentleman to you. He really tries not to swear, really tries not ti get drunk or angry. But just as things are starting to work out between you, just as you both stop being so timid around one another he finds out about the baby.

🍂 He gets jumped outside the Garrison by some scratty bastard claiming Arthur Shelby stole his son.

🍂 His first response is anger, naturally. He's absolutely livid that you didnt tell him. He's spent all this time being careful with you, trying so hard to be a good man for you and all this time you've been lying to him, keeping this massive secret. And not just from him either... you didnt tell tonmy and its a betrayal of trust, you've not just insulted him but his whole family...

🍂 He doesn't know what to do, he completely panics because he's going to have to carry this shame to his brother, his brother who will probably kill you and your family for deceiving the Shelbys.

🍂 However, a lot of his anger is down to panic... You have a child, a whole fucking child! Have you been expecting him to be a father to that child this whole time? He isn't cut out for that, he ain't cut out to be a fucking dad...

🍂 He takes a lot of his anger out on the cunt claiming to be the father of your child, he doesnt stop to work out if any of its lies, just throws himself at the bastard because this man isn't pleasant and he's socked Arthur in the jaw and started making all these nasty threats... So all that anger and fear, all the hatred and betrayal, he takes it out on this stupid bastard, beating him within an inch of his life.

🍂 He doesnt kill him though because he needs to know if hes telling the truth about being the lads dad... Your man...

🍂 When he confronts you you get so so scared... You back away trying to put a safe distance between you and Arthur who has just stumbled in covered in blood, wreaking of the drink.

🍂And then when he tells you about the man who jumped him, when you hear what Arthurdid you start crying and suddenly Arthur gets worried, has he potentially killed this man you love? Will you ever forgive him, will you be scared of him for the rest of your miserable lives together... Has he doomed you both to suffer eachother in hate and fear forever?

🍂 But then you throw your arms around him and he realises you're crying tears of relief. That you're holding onto him so tightly, just saying "Thank you, oh thank god, thank you Arthur, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have lied to you I just didn't know what to do, I was so scared, oh god thank you... Know i shouldnt be happy but i am."

🍂 He's confused as fuck tbh, doesnt know what to make of it, struggles to stand there and hold you because he isn't very good with crying women and you're utterly hysterical. He awkwardly puts his arns around you, oats you on the back and just kind of waits for you to explain...

🍂 "ere love don't cry eh, calm down sweetheart, ain't gonna solve anythin cryin like this are ye..." He's awkward, blushing and a little embarrassed, doesn't know what to do and feels totally helpless.

🍂 When you do explain everything, that you were never married to the man, that he ain't your man at all and never was, but that it is his kid and the reason your parents gave you up to Arthur is because they were so frightened of the man that they knew you needed to leave ur city, go somewhere with dangerous people who could keep u safe etc..." Arthur just listens completely baffled, getting more confused but also more upset as the story goes on. He's uoset for you and the more you tell him youre sorry, the more you beg his forgiveness and tell him you didn't mean to use him, didn't mean to cause any trouble, that they didnt give you a choice just packed you off in the middle of the night... The more certain Arthur becomes that he has to stand by you. He remembers your timid delicate face the day of your wedding, the tears in your eyes, the lack of family with you in the church... He realises that this has all been one long nightmare for you and that your fate rests on him. That he can choose to help you or doom you to a life of misery.

🍂In the end he's relieved too, he chuckled nervously and tells you that all considered he's glad he fucked the guy up as bad as he did. "Only fuckin sorry I didn't kill him... If I ever see that bas... Sorry, if I ever see him again I promise you love I will..."

🍂 "You're family now eh love, my family you and the baby and I'll do me best to be a good husband and a fuckin good father too, know I'm not really a good man but I promise you I'll do me best..."

🍂 Will admit he doesnt know what hes doing and you'll say lets face it, his own dads not exactly an angel...

John

🌼 We already know that John isn't going to be happy about the idea of an arranged marriage, especially not one orchestrated by his brother to make peace with a rival gang.

🌼 He will throw a strop when Tommy tells him, he'll be livid, accusing him of treating him like a child, "always fuckin controllin us all whenre you gonna get bored of playing the fuckin puppet master eh?"

🌼 Stupid and pissed off enough to try and start a physical fight with him, shoves him hard and has to be held back by Arthur, who has to try and be balanced. He isn't really in agreement with the situation either but he doesn't want to see John do anything stupid, and he knows that if John hits his brother again Tommy will come down full force on the lad.

🌼 So John will be dragged by his heals to the altar, he's still grumbling when they arrive at the field your wedding is to be held in. He's wearing a real school boy scowl when Arthur and Finn push him up to stand with beside you. He can't see you but you can see him through the veil which covers your face and the sight of his sullen expression strikes fear in you. He looks so angry, he looks like all those bad stories you've heard about the Peaky Blinders might actually be true...

🌼 But when the veil is taken from your face and John sees you for the first time everything changes... You're so pretty, with the soft earthy features, your eyes so emotive, a real deer look about you as you gaze back at him a little shyly...

🌼 Something about your pretty face and your soft features sooths him, calms his temper and suddenly he isn't so sulky anymore. Suddenly he's wearing a shy smile of his own, looking at you like he can't quite believe his luck.

🌼 When the sermons being read and you're both waiting to make your vows, kneeling together at the altar John turns to you with a little smirk and nods, whispers "Hullo," his cheeky smile and the way he's whispering over the sermon makes you feel like a kid being naughty in class. You're blushing and biting back a cheeky smile of your own when you whisper "hello," back.

🌼 He can't help but flirt with you, he knows this should be terribly awkward and that you're probably really unhappy to be there being married off to some stranger with a criminal record but he can't help himself. Your smiles so pretty and once he's had a taste of it he keeps chasing it.

🌼 He's also a little embarrassed to have arrived so reluctantly to your wedding, feels like he's got a lot of making up to do...

🌼 He'll sense your awkwardness and want to put you at ease, he can tell that you're shy, can tell that you feel nervous and he'll want to make you relax. Now that he's seen you he isn't so annoyed to be being married off to you and he wants to show you he's not all that bad either.

🌼 So he's whispering pointless small talk to you throughout the sermon, making you smile and stifle a giggle, earning you reproachful looks from Johnny Dogs who is trying his best to recite the sermon without throttling John for not taking it seriously.

🌼 But John is all, "pleasure t'meet you," shooting you that boyish smirk, making eyes at you like its just you and him having some private joke...

🌼 But he sees your hand shaking when Johnny goes to cut your palms and mix your blood and John remembers that although he can make his jokes and tease and flirt with you, you're probably still petrified of the future that lies ahead. You probably don't want to be doing this at all.

🌼 So when he clasps your hand in his and your blood meets his blood he holds your gaze and leans in to mumble something to quietly, lips barely moving, voice barely above a whisper. "Don't be scared flower." Of course its all good and well saying it but how can he really help you, of course you're going to be scared...

🌼 So later when everyone else is drinking and dancing he takes you to one side, his hand on your waist and then when he realises he's probably being too intimate, snatching his hand away, scratching the back of his neck instead. "Listen y/n I'm really fuckin sorry about all this, know its probably not what you imagined for your wedding day..."

🌼 But honestly, you're not sad to be marrying John. You didn't have dreams of a big romantic wedding or a husband you fell in love with at first sight... But you think that seeing John at the altar that morning is as close to love at first sight as you could possibly get... Yes you were nervous, yes you were shy, scared about your future... But not because you were marrying John... Well, your trembling hand had been a little to do with John but not because you were scared of him...

🌼 So you blush and shake your head and try to tell him he doesn't need to apologise, "I like you John," you say imediately looking at the floor, a shy but cheeky smile on your lips as you stand on tiptoe, brave enough for a fleeting second that you stand on tiptoes and kiss his cheek, leaving him blushing and speechless. "Really I do... I'm happy I got to marry you..."

🌼But John can tell that somethings not right, maybe you're not sad about the wedding or about marrying him but you're sad about him. He knows what sad girls look like, he saw many of them after the war and you look just as torn up as all those young widows...

🌼 Your little one is at your wedding, your mother is raising them, trying to pass them off as her own. And you've done well all day to pretend the little two year old is just a younger sister...

🌼 But John recognises your mothering instinct come out when the child runs over to hug you and you pick them up so lovingly. He can tell that you're not sisters, he can see that cherished look as you nuzzle your nose against hers. And he can tell by the tears in your eyes when you place her down on the ground and send her back to your mother. The way your gaze lingers as you watch her go, you look whistful, forlorn. Like a girl in mourning.

🌼 And Johns annoyed but not because you lied to him and not because he's just found out he's going to have another child on his hands. No, Johns annoyed that you were going to let your mother raise it, that you'd give up your kid just like that... Seemingly guiltless...

🌼But when he confronts you, umable to control his anger, snapping at you, growling the accusation at your through his teeth, breaking your heart because he's got it all wrong... You begin to cry, not hysterically but calmly. The tears running quietly down your cheeks as you look back at him with all this dissapointment in your eyes.

🌼 All day he's been so sweet you, sharing those conspiratorial smirks with you, as if you understood one another... Now you're worried he doesn't understand anything at all.

🌼 "I didn't want to... I don't, its fuckin breakin my heart to let her go... I don't have a fuckin choice they've... They..." you try to explain it to him, that your family forced you to give the baby up to your mother and let her raise it instead so that you wouldn't bring shame to the family, and so that Tommy wouldn't call off the engagement.

🌼 Then he has to swallow his anger, he doesn't want to see you crying and youre shivering there, sniffling in front of him all teary eyed, you're doing your best to stand up to him and he feels pretty guilty. His wife, standing up to him on her wedding night for fuck sake...

🌼 He gets angry with your family then, storming over to Tommy to tell him what they've put you through, to tell him what he thinks of his new in laws. He's suddenly very protective of you and he has this violent streak surface in him, he wants to hurt the people who have hurt you... So Tommy has to yank him to one side, him and Arthur trying to calm him.

🌼 "Its your fuckin weddin day John boy, you can't be fuckin fightin on your fuckin weddin day... Just take your girl and dance with her eh, like a fuckin man..."

🌼 So he does. He takes his girl, straight from her grandmother's arms, picks her up and kisses her forhead, asking her if she'd like to come for a dance with her mammy. The three of you will dance together, him carrying her on his hip as he slow dances with you both. Its a really touching scene but its passive aggressive too and when he locks eyes with your father he's making a threat which is received loud and clear.

🌼 He will make a huge point of openly accepting the child. he'll roll his eyes and nod to the family all self aware and apologetic, welcome to the family I guess.

🌼 That kids going to have so many brothers and sisters to run wild with. You'll actually have a really happy family.

🌼 John won't ask about the dad because hes got plenty of kids of his own and he knows how it works, you don't always love their parents but you love the kids. You'll be worried that he isn't bothered, you'll take it as him not caring about you or the child and when you ask him why he isn't bothered, why he isn't angry? he'll just shrug and say that he does care, you can tell him whatever you want whenever you like...

🌼 "Just don't see the point in dredge up the past when we're happy now," he'll say kissing your cheek, "got a good little family haven't we flower, we're happy ain't we? Why bother about anythin else eh?"

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is definitely the most heartbroken of the Peaky boys to find he's being married off to a stranger. He's sad to be being forced into an arranged marriage because he's always harboured dreams of meeting the love of his life, his soulmate and now he knows he'll never get the chance.

🍀 And he feels bad for you too because the chances are you're being robbed of the same thing. He's a romantic soul and it feels bleak and grey to be being robbed of love, the chance to fall in love.

🍀 He also knows that the nature of his life means you'll have to leave everything behind, travel with him and the family and that you'll really be alone in it all. He'll have his family still, not a lot will change for him, but you're being forced to leave everything behind, forced to go it alone and Bonnie is empathetic enough to know how much that will hurt you, how scared you will be...

🍀So he feels guilty too, guilty to be putting you through his own idea of hell.

🍀He is however determined to make the best of it, to be a friend to you if nothing else... He's such a sweet boy and he can't stand the thought of you being uncomfortable... He can't stand the thought that he might be ruining your life or breaking your heart. He's scared that you're going to be scared of him. From the moment he finds out he's to be married to you, to the day you finally meet Bonnie is preocupied worrying about the mystery girl he's to wed. Worrying you will hate him, worrying he won't be good enough, worrying you'll be scared... He's really scared that you'll be one of these girls who cries at the altar or tries to run away... Not that he could blame you for either, he just hates the thought that he could be playing a part in some innocent lassies misery.

🍀 He's a bit cyncial too, about where youre coming from... You can't have a particularly good family if they're giving you up to their enemies to "make peace" he thinks thats all wrong, he thinks they can't possibly love you or care about you very much if they're willing to hand you over to the people they hate most... People they call savages. He knows that if he had a daughter this would be the last thing he'd do to her. That if he had a daughter this was the sort of situation he'd want to protect her from...

🍀So before he's even met you he has all these complicated thoughts and feelings about you. He's been wondering about you for days on end.

🍀 On the day of your wedding hes taken back by how beautiful you look, so pretty all in white...He's genuinely stunned and when you remove your veil from your face with your delicate fingers Bonnie is held hypnotised by your grace. You're fae like, something ethereal about you in the misty morning light. He can't take his eyes off you and when your palms are cut and its time for Bonnie to take your hand in his he is too distracted gazing at your eyes that he misses his cue. Johnny Dogs has to press your hands together himself clipping him round the back of the ear for being daft.

🍀You're very shy, when Bonnie forgets to take your hand you bite down hard on your lip to hide your smile. You can barely look at him and struggle to hold his gaze. Bonnie thinks its because you're scared of him, or dissapointed by him but its not, its the opposite... You think he's lovely actually.

🍀 Sure you've heard about the Peaky Blinders fighter but the stories you've heard about a savage assassin just don't match up to this sweet brown eyed boy kneeling beside you, holding your hand clasped tightly in his.

🍀 Bonnie isn't sure how to act around you, he feels awkward, he feels shy too because actually you're the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and he's sure that the only way he was ever going to end up with a lass as lovely as you was if someone fuckin forced it.

🍀 When Johnny tells him to kiss his bride Bonnie hesitates, his hand hovers by your cheek, his thumb brushing your blushy skin as he freezes, shy but also worried... You have hardly even looked at him this whole time, maybe you don't like him, maybe you're wishing you could runaway afterall.

🍀"C... Can I kiss ye?" he asks, his lips barely an inch from yours, you can feel his breath on your cheek. You want nothing more than for him to close the gap between you. When your lips meet you feel that nervous but sweet flip in your stomach.

🍀Its this one moment of calm, this first telltsle sign of happiness and therefore its over too soon. Because when your eyes closed and his lips met yours your mind settled down, most of your anxieties hushed to a whisper. You would have enjoyed it had it not been for the secret you were keeping, the devestating truth you were being forced to keep hidden.

🍀 All throughout the wedding day Bonnie notices how you seem sad, more than that, you have this whistful, doomed look about you. He puts it down to you being sad about the arranged marriage and keeps telling you he's sorry you've had to do this...

🍀 "I know this ain't what you want y/n and it don't have to be like that between us you know, don't have to be like husband and wife between us if you don't want it... Won't be angry with you for that so don't worry, just let me be your friend eh, don't be lonely y/n, I'm your friend I promise..."

🍀 Throught the day he keeps trying to cheer you up, he's so sweet to you and dotes on you completely, in fact he hardly leaves you alone not wanting for you to be overwhelmed by his family and the peaky boys who are here... Still, his acts of kindness though they touch you, though they make you smile and blush, though you even giggle once at one of his daft jokes, don't really work cheering you up and Bonnie feels terrible because he can't help you. You still seem devestated.

🍀 It gets worse when you ask how long they'll be staying near Birmingham and he has to tell you that they're not. They stayed a day later just for the wedding, the vardos are moving on first thing in the morning and when he tells you you get choked up, your eyes are wide and white... You look terrified.

🍀 Again naive, bonnie puts that down to your fear of him and his family. Your fear of being alone with him, he tries to reassure you, tries to let you know he's there for you, that he'll be your friend, but before he can say much at all you've fled.

🍀 The parties in full swing now and other people are drunk enough not to notice you slip leave, only Bonnie watches you go, standing there helpless and a little heartbroken to watch you running away from him.

🍀You're not running away however, you're running to...

🍀You have to try to find your wee girl, shes with the church in small heath where your parents forced you to leave her that morning.

🍀You're demanding her back but they wont give her up, telling you that you made your decision, shaming you for being a whore... For giving up your child, for having her in the first place... You're desperate, on your knees in tears on the church steps, sobbing your heart out but the priests no sympathy for a wayward girl like you...

🍀When bonnie watches you go at first he doesnt know what to do, hes so scared, he wants to find you, to make sure youre safe... He knows there'll be trouble if your family realise what youve done.

🍀 So he corners your brother and forces him to tell him whats going on. He's clever about it, lies to find out the truth, makes a couple of wild guesses which pay off... Tommy Shelby would be impressed.

🍀 "Listen to me alright mate, that girls been heartbroken about somethin all day..." he hisses, his eyes burning with a fury he doesn't quite understand, "she just told me everything so don't even bother trying to lie about it eh, think your family's done enough lying for one day..." "Whats she told you?" the brother looks pissed off and when he sighs he's fed up, glancing nervously over his shoulder like he doesn't want to get caught. "Theres someone else..." says Bonnie, his voice shaking a little, he doesnt want it to be true, he doesnt want you to be in love with someone else because if you are you'll resent him. The chance of even a friendship for you both dashed on the rocks.

🍀But the brother just sighs and shakes his head, tells him not to cause a scene, "you're gonna be pissed but let's not fight about it here eh, for me sister, your brides sake eh..."

🍀 The brother tells him about the church and the baby and before he can tell you anything else, about the father or the circumstances that have brought you here, bonnie is running off to find you.

🍀He takes Isaiah and Finn with him to the church because for as much as he too is a catholic, a good one at that, he doesn't trust those churches and priests who he thinks have warped the religion for their own gains.

🍀And thats where he finds you, in a heap on the church steps still hammering on the door trying to get in.

🍀When he sees the mess youre in, when he finds out what they've done all his suspicions are confirmed and he's livid. Not just angry however but heartbroken for you because he knows you're younger than him and he can't believe the suffering you've been put through at the hands of the church and your family.

🍀 "And we're the savages?" he smirks to Finn when they pass you and enter the church by "order of the peaky blinders."

🍀 He gets your wee girl back, goes straight in, threating them. "Wheres my fuckin daughter?" "You had no right to take my fuckin daughter away! No fuckin right..."

🍀 And the church know a peaky blinder when they see one so they hand her over to him immediately. The moment he lays eyes upon her he knows he's going to be her father, knows he's going to raise her as if she were one of his very own. He feels an overwhelming sense of duty to protect her and it brings a tear to his eyes.

🍀 Always wanted a little girl and hes already decided to devote himself to her and to you. He can see that you need someone to be good to you and he's made that vow now, your bloods have been mixed, so he has a duty to you. Maybe he won't have that romantic falling in love he'd always secretly hoped for but that doesn't mean he can't try to love you and your little girl as best as he can.

🍀He gives her to you and when you burst into further tears he doesn't know what to do. He's not used to seeing girls so unhappy xnot like this anyway. He's seen his sisters cry over boys and arguments before but he's never seen a lass so distressed.

🍀 "Oh mary thank you thank you," you're sobbing, your body shaking with relieved sobs. Bonnie sitting down beside you trying to hush you and calm you. Making you all these promises to look after you both. "Shh sweetheart, its alright now dove, you're both safe now, I'm gonna take care of you you both from now on dove, I swear it on my life," he says taking your palm in his, kissing the cut which is healing from earlier that day.

🍀Takes you both home, promises you he's going to look after you both. "We're family now love, one that looks after one another, you're never gonna be sad or scared again I promise..." of course being a peaky blinder thats a promise he can't keep, but he'll say anything to reassure you in that moment.

🍀 You're going to be so won over by how loving and caring hes been, you went through something intense that night and got through it together. He saved your life and your wee girls life, you're so certain of that and as a result you feel so close to him. You really trust him, which is something you haven't been able to say about anyone for a long time.

🍀 You will probably talk about that day many times over the years, Bonnie will confess all of his naive hopes that he thought had been stolen from him that day, you'll both share how sad you were, how scared you were that you wouldn't ever know love. And then you'll smile and hold eachother, happy with the knowledge that even if you weren't destined for one another you've still found love.

🍀Your wee girl is going to have like 10 siblings sorry.

Isaiah

🐀You're more pissed off than him, you're so angry and you fight with your parents, you fight with his family, youre cold and so fucking bitter to him.

🐀The morning they tell you you do nothing but scream, you hit your father, beating at him furiously, you feel betrayed by him, by your mother who does nothing but stand sobbing weakly.

🐀And the person you hate the most is Isaiah... When he tries to talk to you, when he tries to tell you "I didn't fuckin ask for this either did I y/n!" you just get angrier, you shove him away, you try to run away.

🐀"What the fuck would you agree to something like this for? Who the fuck do u think you are... You think you should get to own me... I don't even fuckin know you and you're calling me your fuckin wife!"

🐀And Isaiah does feel a little guilty, this isn't exactly what he wanted either... But your temper is foul and you're doing nothing to contradict what he was told about you. That you'd grown wild, that you'd the devil in you, that you needed taming. He gets frustrated with you, annoyed that you can't see that this is bad for both of yous, not just you. Sometimes he wants to shake you and yell in your face, "You think this is what I wanted do you love? You ever stop to think I might have had a sweetheart of my own eh? You think I wanted to be stuck with a sour bitch like you for the rest of me life?"

🐀Sometimes when you are screaming at him he almost does say those things. But he's under orders from his father and Tommy Shelby to treat you right, theres an important alliance in the balance and if he loses his temper with you he could ruin everything. But you don't make it easy, you're angry at your situation and you're taking all that hurt and anguish out on him...

🐀When he finds out about the baby things get worse... All this time you had a way out, a way to annul the marriage and kept it from him. He's so angry with you but he feels like now you're even. You've been hating him this whole time, being truly evil to him, and now its his turn to be mad. He has a right to lose his temper now. He has a right to say all the horrid things he's been thinking about you all this time, your resentment for one another building.

🐀When he confronts you about it you have a huge, messy fight in which your whole backstory is carelessly hung out for all to see. You're screaming at him, hysterical, how dare he lose his temper with you for this...

🐀"This is your fuckin fault so don't blame me for keepin it secret, I had to keep it secret!! What would you have done eh, you and your Peaky fuckin Blinders! Don't blame me!" Don't blame me? You're the one who couldn't keep her fuckin legs closed love! "" Fuck you! Don't you dare talk about me like that, don't you fuckin dare speak about me like that! I'm your fuckin wife!"

🐀And when you say that he snatches your wrist in his, you'd raised your hand to slap him but now he's squeezing your wrist so tight it hurts, he's forcing your hand down onto the kitchen table, backing you up against it until you can feel the edge of the table digging into your back...

🐀"Aye," he says, his voice low and spitting, his eyes so unforgiving, "some fuckin wife you are eh sweetheart..." everything he says comes out a threat and suddenly you feel so small, so vulnerable. He's right up in your face, his hand still squeezing your wrist tight.

🐀"Some fuckin wife sleepin around and lying to me, you let me marry you! I didn't fuckin want you... You could have fuckin stopped it... I didn't want you..."

🐀And that cuts you so deep. You didnt want him either but having him stare you down oike that, each word slashing at you, full of vitriol... It hurts, brings tears to your eyes because you both know you're stuck together, he's saying these things to you now so plainly, so spitefully, knowing he can't take them back, knowing you'll have to face them for the rest of your life...

🐀"What're you crying for now eh, fuckin stop crying girl, don't start cryin now like I'm breakin your heart! You're the one whose breakin mine for fuck sake... A fuckin baby y/n, why the fuck would you keep that secret eh?" "I mean it love stop fuckin cryin, you made this fuckin bed you're gonna fuckin lie in it..."

🐀When you snatch your wrist free and flee from him, you run away without even taking a jacket. You're half blind from your crying, not paying any attention to where you're going as you tear through the Birmingham streets desperate to get away from him. Away from all the Peaky Blinders and the fucking nightmare world they live in.

🐀Isaiah shouts after you, he's angry but not just with you anymore. Angry with himself for letting you go, for letting you run away into the dangerous night without so much as a coat to shield you from the rain. He runs his hands over his cheeks and curses himself, curses you too for being so wild. Now he knows you've the devil in you. You're nothing but a terror head to toe.

🐀But he has to go after you, god knows what could happen to you out there on your own. If he doesn't find you someone else might and though you may think he's cruel, theres plenty more cruel out there and he knows it.

🐀So he searches for you all night on his own, too ashamed if having scared you away to ask his friends for help. He feels almost imasculated by the whole situation, what kind of man lets his wife run away from him like that...

🐀When he finds you you're drunk in some shithole pub half way across the city, its taken him hours and hes soaked through from being out in the rain all night. It's kicking out time and you're the last person in there. Women aren't meant to drink alone but you know the lad behind the bar from your wilder days and he's been letting you stay...

🐀"Alright love, you've had your fun eh, time to come home yeah..." says Isaiah, approaching you. You flinch away from his touch and it hurts him the way you look at him with such fear. "No," you whimper, you look so scared of him and yet so determined to disobey, to remain your own woman. "Come on lass I mean it yeah, we had an argument yeah, you ran away, you got blind drunk and now its time to come home... We'll sort everything out at home, promise..." and he does mean it. He's no intention of screaming with you until the sun comes up.

🐀Whilst he was out looking for you he had a lot of time to reflect on everything thats come to pass between you. The way he sees things now this has been painful for both of you. Both of you have been forced to give up the futures you wanted, both of you are stuck together now... And you made those vows before god, you can't ever undo them, you can't break that oath because you made it to eachother and also to god. And if you've a baby then you have to raise it together. You have to try and get along otherwise you'll be miserable for the rest of your lives, thats no way to be together, no way to raise a child.

🐀He feels guilty for losing his temper, he should have been man enough to understand you, he should have been what you needed... Now he's found you thats what he wants to tell you. That things are going to change between you.

🐀But you haven't given up your fight and you start crying again the minute he puts his arm around you to help you up and walk you home. You're really sobbing, its almost theatrical and it imediately begins to wind him up again... Why can't you see he's really trying for you here?

🐀You're too drunk to walk and in the end he has to pick you up and carry you all the way home where he sits you down at the kitchen table, your head slumping onto your arm. You're a mess and he can't help but chuckle despairingly. How the fuck did he get here?

🐀Still, amid the bitterness and the resentment theres a tiny glimmer of affection, you're just a lass at the end of the day, a lass who's had too much to drink and upset herself. And he does think you're pretty, even when your eyes are all red from crying.

🐀He sighs, pulls the chair up beside you and takes your hand. You don't look up at him at first, your eyes pressed to your arm on the table, refusing to turn your head until he tells you again.

🐀"Fuck sake y/n look at me now eh, I'm tryna talk to you... We're grown ups ain't we... Look at me..." he sounds exhausted and you're exhausted too so you turn your head and he can't help but think you look quite cute in your sulk. Your cheek squished against your elbow, your big eyes watery and sullen looking up at him from where your heads resting on the table.

🐀"I'm your fuckin husband love whether you like it or i like it," he says with a sigh, he wants nothing more than to go to bed but he knows this is a fight which can't be slept on, "so you fuckin listen to me yeah, all this screamin and cryins gotta fuckin stop cause were stuck with eachother and it aint gonna be much of a life if we ain't at least civil eh..." "Uhuh..." suddenly you're a lass of few words, just glowering up at him, hearing him out though he's not sure you're really listening to him.

🐀"You ain't really been behaving like much of a wife girl, and I know I ain't a saint, haven't been much of a husband to you either have I... But thats gonna change now yeah, it fuckin has to change now cause we can't live like this forever... Can't raise a child if we're at each others throats all the time eh?"

🐀You sit up then, your eyes wide but hopeful, you clasp at his hand suddenly alert, really listening to him...

🐀Isaiah smiles when he sees the light return to your eyes. Its the first time he's seen you looking like that... Hopeful.

🐀He's terrified of having a child, so scared that the child will reject him, that they'll hate him for not being their real father... He's scared he'll do everything wrong, scared he'll be a bad example... But he knows that he can't refuse to raise a child because he's scared the kid won't like him... He knows he has to do the best he can for you and yoir little one.

🐀 "So tonight sweetheart, am gonna get you to bed an me and you are gonna go to sleep, no more fighting yeah?" "Uhuh," "Then in the morning you're gonna stay here, I'm gonna go find your littlen and bring em back to you, and then we're gonna raise it together yeah, husband and wife, mam and dad..."

🐀He puts you to bed and for once you let him help you get changed, you let him look after you and help you into your bed and when he's made sure youre settled he tries to get some sleep himself. He's anxious however and his heads so busy with all these worries about the baby, about whether he's cut out to be a dad, that he barely gets any sleep at all.

🐀However the next day when he fibds the child, a little boy, something in him changes. He doesn't take to fatherhood perfectly, he's awkward and he's still very anxious on the indside. But he sees this little boy who needs a father, who needs someone to step up for him, someone who's isn't afraid of anything, who can be confident and in control. He knows that that has to be him and so he does, he steps up because he doesn't have a choice, theres a little boy depending on him.

🐀And your little boy takes to him straight away, he looks up to Isaiah and its clear he thinks the sun shines out of him. Isaiah is kind of proud of that.

🐀And its through seeing how him and the son grow close that you begin to trust him and your anger and resentment mellows, replaced over time by a kind of respect. You admire him, you have to admit that its impressive the way he stepped up to your son when he could have just kicked you both out on the street.

🐀It isnt just the baby he's been trying hard for either, it's you too. He's been doing everything he can to be a caring husband to you and you feel yourself softening up to him over time.

🐀Your respect develops into a friendship, you both know you can rely on one another, that its the three of you now who are a family. It might not be a romantic love which blossoms between you but theres certainly a mutual trust and admiration, a platonic love.

🐀And that friendship twinned with the fact that hes undeniably attractive, makes you wonder what it would be like to have children with him... Whether your little family of three could grow...

🐀You sleep together every night, you act just as a husband and wife should but theres always a distance, Isaiah has been waiting for you to close it for a long time, and one night when he climbs into bed beside you in the early hours, he's been away all night on peaky business and you've been worrying about him all night... He thinks you're asleep when he rests his head on the pillow and you roll over, draping an arm around him, nuzzling into his neck. He only realises youre awake when you leave a kiss at the top of his spine.

Michael

☘️Words cannot truly describe the rage which floods Michaels body when Tommy informs him he's to be married. Not only dies he think it's completely fucking embarassing in this day and age, "the modern world ain't for things like this Tom!" he also believes Tommy is only doing it to sideline him, to punish him and put him in his "place" a place he knows in his heart he does not belong.

☘️ He fights Tommy over it, not as physically volatile as John but certainly still puts up a fight. He tries to spite him through business. He fucks up a couple of deals Tommy wanted him to make just to spite him... Naturally this only makes things worse.

☘️ "Fuckin meet her first at least Michael, who knows maybe it'll be love at first sight..." Tommy is taking the piss, rubbing salt in the wound because knows Michael knows theres nothing he can do. That in the end he has no choice but to do Tommys bidding.

☘️ "Knowing you you'll have picked some fuckin pig for me..." he grumbles, not realising how far from the truth that could be.

☘️ A meeting between you is organised, with Polly and your mother chaperoning. It's the only time you'll meet before the wedding day and you're so nervous. You're terrified that Michael will see you and change his mind, that he'll break off the engagement because you're not good enough. That you'll let your family down.

☘️ You're also scared because you know that Polly Gray has the sight, you know that if you meet her gaze even for a second she will see into your soul and discover all the secrets you're trying to hide. The dark past you're desperate to forget. Because you've already had your heart broken beyond repair.

☘️When Michael sees you he falters, his lips parting, stunned. You're nothing like the girl he'd imagined you would be. You're not deformed or ugly, not some old spinster or s fucking 12 year old being married off early for status. You're simply beautiful, just a girl who looks something close to his dream girl. You're pretty, a little shy, but your smile is sweet and your voice is soft when you say hello. And your eyes are deep and full of heart. Soulful eyes, the kind you don't see much of in Small Heath.

☘️Polly does your readings, this is a condition of your engagement and one you're very nervous about. If it was just any old gypsy crone pretending to read your cards and your palms then you wouldn't be worried. Anyone else would be easy to fool. Polly Gray however isn't a con woman, she really can see secrets. Your hands shaking when she turns it over in hers and traces her fingertip slow and delicate down your love line.

☘️ "Well Michael, I don't think you'll have any complaints with this one..." she says offering her son a knowing smirk, she didn't need to read palms to know that. One look at you and the way Michael was starring at you, was enough to tell her that Michael at least would be happy.

☘️ Polly tells you both then, holding your hand and Michaels in each of hers, acting as a link between you, "you must both try to forgive one another, you must forgive your families too, for what they're asking of you... If you can do this you will be happy together, theres much potential for love here..."

☘️Polly saw the child in those readings she did, but she doesn't say a word, not to you, not to Michael. Not even to Tommy who she knows will be furious. Because she didn't just see the child, she saw everything. She saw how you were knocked up by a man you believed really loved you, how he ran away and abandoned you. How you tried to keeo the baby secret but couldn't when you began to show... How it was your own parents who reported you to the social and accused you of being an unsuitable mother... Your baby was taken from you just as Pollys were and she can see that desperate heartbreak in your eyes. She doesn't need to read your cards to feel the grief which radiates from you.

☘️ So she keeps your secret, and you don't see Michael nor his mother until the day of your wedding. When you walk down the aisle towards Michael you're shaking, you're nervous, self concious of everyones eyes on you. You never imagined your wedding day to be like this, a church packed out with gypsies and criminals, ruthless gangsters watching your hips sway in your white dress.

☘️Michael is still angry with Tommy, he knows what his mother has said to him about forgiveness but he will never forgive his cousin for treating him like a child, for humiliating him by forcing him to do his bidding in such a public and old fashioned way.

☘️ So he hides his attraction to you, he acts sullen and takes his hatred for Tommy out on you. He's treats you so coldly, glaring at you as he makes his vows. You can feel the hatred radiating from him and your voice is shaking as you say your own vows. You want to cry, you're actually scared of him.

☘️ He does everything he's supposed as he is supposed to, kisses you, dances with you, but he's so removed and aloof, so quietly cruel, something about him makes you feel like ice. You feel so lonely as he dances with you, you want to cry.

☘️ Later you're drunk, drinking to try and nurse your fear and sorrow away. You'd hoped when Polly had taken both your hands in hers and told you that you were well matched, that potential for love might blossom in time... But now it seems you're doomed to live the rest of your life loathed by the man youve just married.

☘️ Polly joins you at the bar, slips her hand into yours and leads you away from the party outside. You sit side by side in the steps and she offers you a cigarette. When at first you shake your head, a little wary of the older woman she says, "Don't be silly girl, have a cigarette, look at you for gods sake, its clear you need one..."

☘️ So you let her light your cigarette for you and you do as she says taking a drag and enjoying the comfort of that first inhale. Pol was right, you needed that. "Thank you..." you say quietly but Polly has already moved on. "I know about your son," she says her voice low, at first she sounds perfectly calm, matter of fact, and your heart fills with fear, but when she carries on you hear her change, her voice thick with emotion.

☘️ "My god girl the things you've been through, the things those fucks put us through..." she's clasping your hand in hers, holding it tightly. When you look up at her in confusion her eyes are tearful and suddenly you understand.

☘️ "I'm so sorry love," she says holding your cheeks in her palms, her cigarette smouldering by your eyes. "Those bastards never fuckin tire... If I ever saw the man who stole my babies from me I'd kill him," she tells you and suddenly you're stuttering...

☘️ "But... But michael?" you ask and she nods, she smiles and dabs at her tears and suddenly she's that stoney fearsome woman once again. Wise beyond her years. She clasps your hands in hers and looks you dead in the eyes. "Yes love... I got my son back, but it wasn't god who gave him back to me, we took him back, we took him... Don't lose heart love, you'll see your little boy again..."

☘️ You're scared then, convinced that even if you do get your son back Michael will never take him in. You beg Polly not to tell anyone, you ask her to keep the baby a secret and she understands why you're asking, because she understands she shakes her head.

☘️ "My sons stubborn y/n, but he ain't stupid... He'll take that little boy in, he fuckin will..." theres a threat in her voice then, a grit that chills you. You wonder if she intends to use that tone on Michael.

☘️ Its several days later when Polly tells Michael that you have something to tell him, something important. He's barely spoken two words to you since the wedding, avoiding you at all costs because he feels awkward. Because every time he looks at you his attraction threatens to break his resolve. He can't stand the thought that Tommy might have been right to pair you up.

☘️ "Me mum says you've got somet to tell me love?" he says entering the room, looking down at you where you sit on the sofa. "Says its somet important. Says I'm not to lose my temper, says I'm to be forgiving..."

☘️ You're so scared to tell him, you're shaking but you try to remember what Polly told you. You try to be brave, try to trust that her son is the gentlemen she claims he is and not the cold bastard he has shown himself to be since you were wed.

☘️ When you do tell him he purses his lips, swallows a lump in his throat and then says "did mum tell you about me?" he asks, his own eyes stewed with emotion as he walks to the window and gazes out at the street. The living room is dark and with his back to you you feel cold. He's only turned away so that you can't see the upset in his eyes.

☘️ "She did yeah..." "Fuckin horrid you know... They lie to you, feed you all this shit to make you hate your own family... Tell you you weren't wanted, tell you that your own mum hurt you... Then one day someone else comes along tells you all that was the lie... Wouldn't wish it on anyone."

☘️You're quiet, listening to him talk. You only realise you're crying when a tear trickles quickly over your lips and you taste the salt on them. When Michael turns round he looks you up and down. He feels a kind of guilt when he sees you so forlorn and heartbroken. He knows he's been unkind to you.

☘️ "Been pretty evil to you haven't I love... I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that, isn't you I hate..." he sits beside you and takes your hand in his, "I'll get your son back love, promise, call it a wedding gift."

☘️He lays out one simple condition for you, he'll take the baby and raise it as his own, as long as you promise to keep that secret too. The baby is Michaels, no one can know you weren't a virgin when he married you. It would be humiliating, imasculating. He can't have people thinking he married a "whore."

☘️It hurts hear him say that and he sees the wounded look in your eyes and apologises. "Love I don't think you're a whore..." does that really make it better?

☘️ It takes time but with the Shelby/Gray formidabke reputation Michael is able to bring your little boy back to you.

☘️You're not sad living with Michael, he really is a gentleman when he isn't acting up for Tommy. He takes good care of you and the boy and you live happily together. And you can't deny your attraction to one another. The cards and your palms didn't lie, you really were well matched and you do find love, far easily than most.

#peaky blinders imagines #bonnie gold x reader #peaky blinders imagine #tommy shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders headcanon #alfie solomons x reader

630 notes · View notes

blackwomanwriter · 9 months

Text

"Mine"

Read: Part I, Part II

It's been a minute, but I finally wrote something. And of course, I had to go back to this series because there is something about Thomas Shelby. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, and let me know your favorite part. Happy Reading!

He entered quietly like he was on a mission. Although this one was unlike the ones he had performed during the war and after. No, this mission was different. Very different. Yet, Tommy performed it with the same intensity.

Eyes narrowed on the quiet interior, clocking each entry point and exit way, like a soldier, he assessed his environment. He hadn’t been in a house this small since his childhood. Even back then, the space had felt cluttered and cramped. Too noisy to think. Too busy to breathe. The stench of his father’s hangover in the air before it disappeared altogether.

He remembered talking Arthur out of trying to find their father. A man unworthy of carrying - no, sharing his surname. Tommy tensed his jaw, moving past the memory. Instead, he raised a brow at how devastatingly clean the entire place felt. Physically tidy, but clean in a way that made the house feel empty. Unlived. Unloved. Cold. The opposite of everything he thought of her. She was warm. Tender. Inviting.

Moving to the narrow staircase, he could hear the water running. The pipes pushing the water through the house. She was here. She was alive. She was avoiding him - again.

He hiked up the stairs, stepping one foot in front of the other. Like a soldier, he kept moving. He carried on with the task before him. His mind focused on the mission.

Opening the door quietly, Tommy leaned on the door frame - taking in the sight before him. Curved hips that were fuller since he had last seen her. A waist that tempted him to wrap his arms around her. It was now that he reached in his pocket for a cigarette.

“Jesus, Tommy,” she shrieked. The click of his lighter giving him away.

She rested a hand on her heart, shuddering as she closed her eyes.

Unbothered, he traced the stick along his bottom lip before lighting it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” She pinched the bridge of her nose, as her breath steadied.

“You haven’t been taking my calls,” he stated. Gaze unchanged. Smoke filling the air.

“I’m in mourning,” she enunciated, grabbing a towel to cover herself. She didn’t bother hiding her frustrations as she shoved past him. She was angry. He liked her angry.

At first, when she didn’t answer his call, he had briefly worried that she was sad. Tearful over the sudden death of her husband, who the police found floating in the river after a night of drinking. His death ruled accidental according to the official report. A drunken man’s blunder. An unsurprising end of life. An expected death for a man who drank as much as her late husband did.

An easy lie to believe, but she knew the truth. The greatest mistake the dead man had made was marrying Thomas Shelby’s favorite whore. It was her mistake more than his. She knew what she was doing when she said yes. The risks she was taking by marrying while Tommy was off in America. Her moment of rebellion had cost a life.

Although, they had gotten past the letter. She hadn’t returned to him. She wanted to keep her promise. To stay married. To honor what was left of her vows. She wouldn’t work for him. She wouldn’t see him. The temptation of losing herself in him made her stay away. She had already ruined the sanctity of her marriage by sleeping with him in his office. She didn’t want to continue making a mockery of the words she vowed before God and man.

She was suddenly religious, which amused Tommy. He thought it was a game, but she clung on to every word spoken by the priest. At the funeral, she remembered his words at the wedding. How he had pressed upon her the importance of repentance. Before Thomas Shelby, she had been a good girl. Never told a lie. Prayed before bed. Devout daughter. Devoted sister. An upstanding and honorable member of her community. He had changed her. Corrupted her. Loved her. Destroyed her.

“It’s been weeks,” Tommy stated coolly.

She ignored him. Her hands focused on the cream she was applying to her skin. Smooth skin. Soft skin. Skin his lips remembered. The taste imprinted on his tongue. Tommy exhaled.

His patience was wearing thin. He loved her. She loved him. He figured out how to help her keep her promise and allow him to keep his. Her husband was dead, and she was free.

“I see you’re eating again,” he quipped, trying to stir a reaction out of her. She didn’t disappoint. He ducked as the bottle of cream nearly struck his head.

“I went from being a whore to being a widow.”

“Sounds like the beginning of a book.” Tommy shrugged then ducked again. This time, she threw a shoe.

“At least I can bargain my way into heaven as a whore,” she resolved, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Is that what your priest tells you?” He brought the cigarette back to his lips for another drag.

He knew. Of course, he knew. She wondered if he was having her followed again. How else would he know about her visits to the church. Her talks with the priest.

“My greatest sin is you,” she finished her thought.

Her words were meant to be cutting, but Tommy remained unbothered. His eyes stoic, jaw set as if he was watching a horse race. He brought his cigarette to his lip, letting it dangle as he neared her.

She stood up, ready to shove past him again, but he grabbed her forearm. Her eyes flared up at him as she tried to loosen his grip, but he remained firm.

“You want to talk about sins, ey?” He whispered against her ear. “You married a man who picked a pint over his life. A man who stowed you away in a house he couldn’t bear to live in himself, while he stayed three doors down with his brother’s wife.”

She frowned, hearing him confirm a suspicion she wouldn’t allow herself to believe. When he stopped coming home, she told herself that he was drunk at a pub or sleeping his hangover off at his mother’s house.

“A man who lost his wages betting on fights.”

So that’s where all their money had gone, she thought. Her face didn’t flinch as Tommy confirmed another truth. Her late husband was just another man who had let her down. All the words she threw at Tommy about him being a good man were lies. He was just better at hiding his wrongs.

Tommy softened his grip on her hand, as he relayed the sin that he couldn’t forgive. The sin that forced him to intervene without thinking of the consequences. “A man who was willing to sell his wife to settle his debts.”

Her eyes widened then glazed over. The shred of innocence he once found in those warm brown irises was quickly disappearing. He cursed at himself for the letter, but it wasn’t just the letter. It was the months he left her wondering if he could ever love again. It was the voice that told him to push her away. She married the man because of him.

Tommy released her hand. There was a part of him that wished he hadn’t been so honest. Her hardened eyes told him just as much. The look on her face was one he had seen before in the women who dared to love him. When his darkness eventually shadowed their light. When his world swallowed them whole.

She reached for the cigarette hanging from his mouth. Taking a long drag, she exhaled. The smoke covering Tommy’s face.

“My sin was marrying the wrong man,” she concluded.

His thumb brushed her skin, remembering when her lips pressed against his in hunger. His lip bleeding as their need took precedence. Her lip bruised from his appetite. Even when he had her, he needed more. Tracing her lip, he gently placed the cigarette between his fingers then lifted it to his mouth. The first puff was for the memory. The second was for his patience.

“No, my god doesn’t care about sins.”

“I didn’t think you believed in,” sighing, she looked up, “anything.”

Tommy closed his eyes. His patience wearing on him again. “You’re moving out of this house. You’re coming back to work, and you’re going to answer when I call.”

“Of course, Mr. Shelby,” she answered.

His jaw ticked at the use of his surname. The smoke from his cigarette creating a haze over his eyes. “Don’t start.”

“Tell me what your god thinks about whores.”

“Everyone’s a whore,” he muttered, as he moved toward the door, already thinking of his next order of business. The kiss would have to wait.

“Is that what your wife thinks?”

Tommy stopped walking. Leaning his hand on the door frame, he closed his eyes. His nose flared. His annoyance growing with her disobedience. He seemed to attract women who were determined to do the opposite of what he asked.

“She confronted me. Told me to stay away,” she admitted, and in that second, he realized why she ignored him. She was no longer his secret. He made his affection too obvious.

“I’ll take care of it,” he firmly stated, leaving no room for further questions. Yet, she continued.

“Does she follow any of the other girls or is it just me?” She asked.

He wasn’t ready to admit that there weren’t any other girls. That there hadn’t been other girls for a while. From the moment he declared his love, Tommy had made himself hers - only hers.

“You love me, but there are others,” she whispered. “I love you, but all I do is think of them. To be with you, I have to worry about them. I have to wait to be yours.”

“Is that what you’re doing then - waiting?” He asked, closing the distance between them.

Her hand dropped to her middle and Tommy’s eyes followed. He stared, then frowned before bringing his gaze back to her. “How far along?”

Her eyes softened. The grief coloring every muscle in her face. Tommy closed his eyes. She was in mourning. He understood her words clearly now. It was moments like this that made him miss Polly. She would have known.

Tommy muttered something in his Romanian tongue as he sat on the bed. He stamped his cigarette out in silent rage. There was never an end. Death seemed to find him at every turn. It hunted him. Craved him.

His hands went to her robe. Slowly, he pulled the fabric, revealing her body. A body that had prepared itself to carry his child. A body that had nourished him back to life. His fingers moved to her belly, tracing the skin there. The soft, smooth skin.

He looked up at her and saw the tears she wouldn’t shed. How long had she held them in, unable to weep. Unable to speak. Unable to fully mourn. Wrapping his arms around her middle, he pulled her in and kissed the place his hands had touched. He tried to do what she had done for him; he tried to make it okay for her to feel.

“I’m fine, Tommy. It’s better this way,” she said, her voice cold and void of any emotion.

“When?” He whispered, knowing it was his, and yet wondering how he’d missed so much in so little time.

“It doesn’t matter,” she stiffened. “It’s gone now, and I need to move on.”

She gave him a second to make peace with the reality she had lived with for weeks. Then, she moved from his touch, closing her robe as she distanced herself. Loving him was painful enough without the added grief of their lost child.

“You shouldn’t have come,” she folded her arms, avoiding his gaze.

Tommy raised a brow, staring at her before glancing around the room. It was as cold as the rest of the house - bare of any details or remnants of her. Standing up, Tommy found a new mission. He moved past her in search of anything that made the four walls more of a home.

His hands traced the metal bed frame. His fingers trailing the linen and cloth. He opened windows and tapped on wooden walls. He inspected the little furniture in the room, unsatisfied with the results.

“Tommy,” she started to say as he pushed open a wardrobe, finding it empty.

She was leaving. She planned to leave London. She planned to leave him. The thought stung in Tommy’s mind as he opened drawer after empty drawer. His anger taking center stage.

“Tommy,” her voice raised with concern.

He shoved the empty wardrobe back, watching as it crashed against the wall.

“Stop,” she yelled, as he shoved the wardrobe again and again. His grief coloring his anger. His anger coloring his grief. Her heart jumped as the wooden drawers finally cracked under the pressure. The splitting wood overshadowing her screams as the wardrobe completely fell apart.

“Tommy,” she cried, rushing to stop him from breaking the wood further. “Stop.”

“Please,” she whispered. Her plea full of a love she couldn’t deny him.

He exhaled. The sound of his heightened breath taking all the space in the room. His anger taking all the air. Tommy closed his eyes. The familiar whispers creeping in his head, telling him to put out the fire. To walk over to the other side. To let go of this life. To finally rest.

She swallowed, unsure of what to tell him, and yet, she persisted. “My sister found work outside of London. She thought it’d be good for me…”

Tommy shook his head, looking up at the ceiling.

“I wanted to tell you,” she stopped, lowering her head. There was nothing to say.

He scoffed. “Tell me.”

It felt like deja vu to hear him utter those words to her again. To hear the same command. The same request he’d asked from her when she told him about the wedding. Yet, this time, there was nothing left to say.

She stared at the back of his head. Her fingers yearning to brush his hair or wrap themselves around him. Her lips longing to kiss the nape of his neck.

Closing her eyes, she confessed. “There’s no life for me here.”

“You’re not leaving.” He pushed back, ignoring her words. “You’re mine.”

“When?” She sighed. “When am I yours, Tommy?”

He lifted his head, staring at the wall. His mind moving a mile a minute. She couldn’t leave him. His heart wouldn’t allow it. His body would protest. His hunger was contained to her. His thoughts all went back to her. How many minutes until he can think of her? How many meetings until he can dream of her? He suffered without her to be with her. Every hour he was away was an hour he promised to give to her.

He was a selfish man, who wanted what he wanted. A man who endured wars and monsters disguised as men. A cursed man. A broken man. A suffering man. A man who didn’t deserve her, and yet, he wanted her. He needed her. She was the cigarette on his lips. The pain tablets in his pocket. The shirt on his back. The razor blade on his cap. She couldn’t leave him.

“When your wife is gone? When you’re fucking other women?” Her voice continued in the background, but Tommy was half-listening. “When you’re bored? When the nightmares come? When the work is done? When am I yours?” She asked again, although there was no anger in her question.

“When you married him, you were mine. Every time you put on his fucking ring; you were mine.” His brows furrowed as he reached into his side pocket for a cigarette. “When you moved into this house, you were mine. When you had my fucking child inside of you, you were mine.” Tommy sniffed, turning to face her. “From the moment you entered my office, you belonged to me.”

She stiffened, as she traced her empty ring finger. His crassness didn’t bother her as much as his refusal to listen. He disregarded her words, only focusing on what he wanted. It was why she didn’t want to tell him about the baby. He would have stuck her in a big house that he would never visit. Given her everything except the thing she wanted, which was him. But now that nightmare wasn’t even a reality because she’d lost their child. She'd lost a piece of him.

“Is that all it takes…” she started to argue, but words were pointless. Their arguments were pointless. They had a love that was cursed from inception.

In this life, he was promised to another. In the next, he would be reunited with another. In life and death, she had no place in Thomas Shelby’s life. Her love for him didn’t save their unborn child. It reminded her that their love had no place to grow. It was wilted, and no amount of money or prayer could save them.

“You’re not leaving,” Tommy declared, cornering her until she had no choice but to look up at him. Her brown eyes sinking into him, full of a love he didn’t deserve.

“You made me a promise,” he whispered. His jaw tensing as he remembered that night in his office when he had made himself hers. When he had promised to live. To stop craving death. The gods had given him a second chance with her.

“Tommy,” she protested, but he continued.

“You gave me your word.” His lips brushed hers and her body shuddered. “You made promises to me. Promises I intend to collect.”

His hand slipped down to her robe, loosening the ties. His fingers marking a trail from her chest to her neck to her lips. “Promises you agreed to keep.”

She folded under his touch. Her head falling on his chest as she exhaled. Quick, short breaths that made Tommy pull her in closer.

“And what of your promises?” She grabbed his fingers before they could slip between her thighs.

“Hmmm,” he hummed, trying not to smirk. “Remind me again.”

Shaking her head, she moved from his hands. Her heart ached, but it would always ache whether she was with him or not. He was not wrong. It belonged to him. From the moment she entered his office, her heart had become his. Knowing he was promised to another, it still beat for him. It yearned for him. It acted without consequence.

Thou shall not commit adultery. A vow she’d broken within a month of knowing Thomas Shelby. But her heart didn’t care. It didn’t care about the commandments she broke. Her sins were plenty but her heart was full. Full of love for a man who couldn’t confess his love until she married another.

Turning away from him, she closed her robe. Her hand wanted to follow the trail he etched on her skin, but she didn’t. She could hear him lighting a cigarette. His eyes on her. His eyes undressing her. His eyes claiming her as his.

She wanted to run, but her heart wouldn’t let her. Instead, she willed herself to face him. Smoke in the air. His scent in every crevice of the cramped room. She inhaled and tried to tell him again. Her thoughts were on her lips, and yet, nothing.

Offering her his cigarette, Tommy stepped towards her. “Leaving London won’t cure you of me.”

She reached for the smoke. Grateful for the distraction. For the heat. For the vapors. For the way her lungs would expand and contract. For the cigarette they shared between them. His lips on her lips. Her lips on his.

“That priest of yours won’t help you either,” he added.

“What is the cure then?”

Tommy leaned into her. His hands on her waist, slowly moving her robe up past her knees then her thighs. “First, you have to stop running.”

“Running?” She asked, confused by his accusation.

“The wedding. The job. This house.” He counted. “And now these plans of leaving London.” His hands pushed the fabric of her robe from her skin, leaving her naked before him. “You mustn’t run.”

“And what if I do?” She questioned, not allowing her nudity to dissuade her.

Tommy brushed her cheek before taking the cigarette from her lips. “I’ll find you. Remind you of where you belong.”

“And where is it that I belong?” She asked. Her eyes gentle and pleading.

He brought her hand to his chest, placing it where his heart lay. “Here. Right here.”

She swallowed her nerves, terrified of letting her heart speak. “Second?” She went back to his list.

“Second.” He took a drag, exhaling the smoke before he continued, “You must know, I get scared,” he admitted, and she finally understood why he’d written her that letter. Thomas Shelby was scared of loving her. The first woman he loved died in his arms because of a bullet meant for him. Love was something to fear, and he was terrified.

“Now, it’s unpleasant and it’s unkind. But when I am…”

“I’ll remind you,” she finished, “of where you belong.”

Tommy cupped her face, placing a kiss on her head. “Good.”

She closed her eyes. Her heart too fragile for Thomas Shelby’s confession. He hadn’t proposed, yet they were already exchanging vows.

“Last.” He leaned his head on hers. “And the most important.”

“Yes,” she breathlessly whispered.

Tommy’s finger traced her bottom lip before he kissed her. His lips hungry to taste her. Selfish in his desire - his consumption of her. He groaned when he felt her kiss him back. Her own need just as desperate as his. She moaned when their lips parted, disappointed by her body’s need for air.

“I promise to have you pregnant by spring.”

Her eyes lit up as she laughed for the first time in months. She chuckled, not taking him seriously. “Tommy.”

“A boy,” he declared, wrapping his arms around her middle. “He’ll have your eyes and my charm.”

She giggled, playfully hitting his chest as he picked her up and placed her on the bed. Her smile widening as she gazed at him. She was returning to herself - returning to him. Weeks of grief slowly thawing from her heart.

Tommy stamped out his cigarette before joining her with a kiss. His body on top of hers. His hands on either side of her head. His mind fixated on the softness of her skin.

“I’ll be back at work in the morning,” she whispered in between kisses.

“You won’t be working anymore.”

She pulled away from his kiss, frowning at him. “What are you on about, Tommy?”

He sighed, already knowing he was about to start another fight. “I won’t have you working with a child of mine inside of you.”

“What?”

“You’ll be carrying my son,” Tommy repeated.

Closing her eyes, she realized he was serious. Of course, he was serious. She wondered how long he’d been planning to get her pregnant again.

“I don’t deserve you,” Tommy kissed her lips. “But, I promised to give you a life worthy of everything you are.” He reminded her. “I promised to let you in my head. I promised to do more than just wait to die. I promised to live.”

She wanted to be angry with him, but he remembered. Every word. Every promise. Everything they had discussed in his office.

“I promised to keep you safe.”

“To make us safe,” she corrected.

He kissed her again. “There are no other girls,” Tommy confessed, reminding her of his other promise. Tommy Shelby was hers.

Grabbing his collar, she pulled him into a long kiss. “No more running,” she vowed.

Tommy smiled. “No more.” He pressed his lips on hers before adding, “You’re mine.”

This time, she didn’t argue, simply letting him kiss her. “Now, where were we, Mrs. Shelby?” He asked, slipping his fingers between her thighs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was a long one. If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! Let me know your favorite part.

#blackwomanwriter #thomas shelby #cillian murphy #tommy shelby x black reader #tommy shelby x you #thomas shelby x you #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinders #blackreader

444 notes · View notes

caraphernellie · 2 months

Text

wip !! here's a moodboard <3

fake happy // e.w.

ellie williams is a freak, and that's just a fact. others deemed that she is not to be trusted from the moment she was born. in a world where everything is real and raw, it's hard to lie. but ellie doesn't quite fit into the category of 'real and raw.'

everybody's moods are displayed above their heads like little emoticons - there's no fake, there's no lies, there's simply emotion. except for ellie. nobody could figure out why ellie's feelings were not displayed. she'd been seen by every doctor, every specialist, every psychiatrist, and psychologist, and none of them knew what could cause this. and so an assumption was made that she doesn't feel anything.

nobody knows how she feels at any given moment, and in a world where people are spoiled with honesty, nobody wants to believe ellie isn't dishonest. nobody wants to be played by her.

somehow surviving life up to college without ever even having a friend, ellie's accepted that she's in for a lonely life. the only person she has is joel, and well, even he can be misunderstanding at times.

and ellie's sure her professor must hate her, because he partnered her for a project with the one girl who is always happy, without fail. the girl whose mood above her head is always, always, always a yellow smiley face. ellie would even say she's jealous, that she hates you, but she can't help but feel herself smiling whenever you're around. you're like a ray of sunshine. if sunshine knew how to lie.

ok ok ok so. i feel a little bit crazy and like nobody is going to like this fic but i kind of want to write it. this is just me posting to see if anyone actually would read it 😭 not like that would motivate/demotivate me but idk. im curious paramore inspired fics first of all, the best ones. secondly, i feel like maybe years ago i read a fic with a similar premise which inspired this but it's also mainly inspired by the music video for fake happy by paramore. and also, i always write fics about reader having the 'i can fix her' mentality for ellie so this time it's ellie saying 'i can fix her' about reader. this one would be for my fellow sad/anxious girlies who love big hurt/comfort vibes. it would be an angsty ride but not without lots of comfort :D two people who are very sad falling in love and helping each other with their issues? i think yes. this fic would be very? angst and hurt/comfort and some fluff idk if there'd be smut ... anyway this was more a way for me to brainstorm for the idea (by making the moodboard and blurb) i have yet to do literally any plotting or writing for it..

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 i stand with palestine, and for that reason, i require everyone on my blog to keep themselves educated and participating in the fight for palestine's freedom. here are some links to educate yourself- 1, 2, 3. the last of us part 2 in particular is a game with zionist background. do not support neil druckmann by buying any of the games and please continue to engage in your media with critical analysis!! stay educated. !!! i urge you to participate in the global strike for palestine from february 18th - 25th !!!

#⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ rambling #ellie williams x reader #tlou2 x reader #ellie williams x fem reader #⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ fanfic #fem reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x yn #wip #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you #ellie x yn #petal's ideas #moodboards by petal

167 notes · View notes

rillils · 3 months

Text

STEVE & BUCKY'S LOVE STORY, UNABRIDGED SOMEWHAT ABRIDGED, part 2/3 (here is part 1)

picking up from where we left off:

some 65 years into the future, steve's plane is fished out of the ice, and they find him, frozen like a sexy hot-dayum popsicle, but still alive thanks to the same super serum that made him go from Smol to Lorge.

steve is thus brought back into the world, but it's a world he no longer recognizes after all these years; a world where all the people he used to know and love are long dead, and his own face has been turned into a tool for propaganda over the years. obviously, he has a hard time adjusting, and he turns to fighting again, joining this group of kinda possibly superheroes, aka the avengers.

lots of exciting new things happen, sure; but steve is still pretty miserable. until one day, a mysterious masked assassin dressed in bondage gear (but not really), and sporting one very shiny metal arm (!!!!), is sent to kill steve's sort-of-boss. and then to kill steve himself. oh no!!

in what is possibly the most gripping, most visually pleasing hand-to-hand fight sequence in the history of cinema,

(NO BUT SERIOUSLY, all jokes aside, if you've never watched it then please do bc it's!!! *shrieks* so fucking good!!!)

a fight sequence which also happened to unlock both steve's and an entire fandom's competence kink with that little sexy knife-flipping trick alone -- i know you know what i'm talking about, don't you lie to me babes--

as i was saying, steve manages to knock the mask off of his opponent's face. and who do you think appears before him? can you guess??

DING DING DING!!! EXACTLY!!! IT'S HIS LONG-LOST BAE BUCKY! who apparently doesn't recognize him??

confused and upset, steve fights to uncover the truth. turns out, the man is indeed the very same bucky he grew up with and loved. only, he didn't actually die in that tragic fall in the ravine; rather, due to the experiments performed on him while he was a war prisoner, he survived long enough to be found and captured by the enemy. who then proceeded to torture and brainwash him, using him as a tool for murder against his will, and literally putting him back in the freezer when they didn't need him.

which, as it happens, is how he stayed so young in the first place: he, uh, spent the better part of 70 years frozen. yeaaah, are the parallels paralleling or what, hmmmm?? preserved in ice like your mom's best lasagna from last week? plunging to a 'death' that isn't really a death? waking up in the future kinda screwed over? :D

ANYWAY

steve is even more devastated than before, now that he's learned that while he was asleep in the ocean, bucky was out there suffering. when he finally confronts bucky again (and it's fucking epic and also fucking heartbreaking, believe you me) steve is desperate to bring bucky, his bucky, back. knowing in his heart that his bae is still somewhere in there, no matter how deeply buried.

in the most critical moment(TM), steve chooses to stay behind, on a plane that's about to fucking blow up around them - just like bucky did for him all those years ago - because if he can't save bucky, then he'd rather die with him.

only, bucky is scared and confused af at the moment, and he attacks steve, because 1) he has a mission after all, he's supposed to kill this guy dammit, and 2) wtf is even going on here??? who IS this man, WHY does he keep saying that they've known each other their whole lives?? and WHY does bucky feel like he's actually seen him somewhere else before?????

AND HERE IS THE PIVOTAL MOMENT OF ALL PIVOTAL MOMENTS: for the first time in his life, steve refuses to fight back. like he literally drops his shield out of the plane and into the river underneath, in a very powerful and symbolic gesture, signifying his surrender: he's not going to hurt bucky anymore, no matter what. THIS FUCKER LITERALLY LETS BUCKY BEAT HIM TO A PULP, WITHOUT EVEN TRYING TO DEFEND HIMSELF, 100% ready to let bucky kill him if that's what's gonna happen here, because that's still better than living in a world where bucky's gone - a world where bucky will look at him and only see a target, or a stranger at best.

and then!!!!

no this is like, this is THE most romantic shit, okay, like you could try to convince me that it isn't for the next hundred years and i wouldn't buy it, because. BECAUSE.

at the very last moment, steve finally manages to break through bucky's brainwashing, breaking the metaphorical spell bucky was under. and do you know how he does that? i ask you, do you know how steve does that, my love?

by repeating to bucky the very same words bucky offered him way back in the beginning, when he proposed asked steve to move in together. till death do us part the end of the line, baby. romeo could NEVER

bucky, who was about to deal the fatal blow, freezes instantly, finally recognizing the man under him.

and when steve falls out of the plane, bucky jumps after him, instinctively saving his life instead.

but bucky can't stay. confused, wounded, vulnerable, and only just beginning to remember who he used to be and what was done to him, he slips away and hides from steve - and from all the other people who might be looking for him, and probably want him dead. you think this is gonna stop steve, though?? now that he knows that bucky is still alive, and that he remembers him??? now that he knows that bucky's not lost to him forever?? AS IF!!

(to be continued in part 3)

#stucky #stevebucky #i have literally no idea how to tag this but???????#the silly stucky recap you didn't ask for #part 2 :D #catws #rillers scribbles

201 notes · View notes

zaceouiswriting · 6 months

Text

The scumbag jock boyfriend

Characters: Reggie Mantle x Archie Andrews x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Riverdale

Warnings: Smutty, cheating

Sweat drips down my body as I wait. My patience quickly wears thin as I stand in the same place for over an hour. What is he doing? Did he forget again that we had a date? When I look at my phone, I see I have no reception.

Pissed off because most of my clothes are soaked with sweat, I huff. I angrily stuff the blanket back into the basket along with the food - I had prepared around dawn, which is definitely bad now. I couldn't hide my disappointment. With everything packed, I leave the clearing in the forest near the sweetwater river where we created our little romantic space when we were just kids in love.

I can't believe he completely stood me up this time. He usually arrives a little later since he always has a reminder on his phone. The only thing I can do is to go to his house. So I do exactly that, with my anger rising by the second.

As soon as I get to his house, I knock on the front door, but even after pounding several times, I don't hear any sound inside. I look around. In front of the garage, I could see Reggie's car but not his parents. Even more annoyed, I walk around, trying to find a way in. The front door did not open, so I go over to the windows, but they wouldn't open either, and even the garage door wouldn't move. I knock on the front door again. Involuntarily, my eyes fall on the keyhole. Suddenly, I realized something. I silently curse myself for my forgetfulness. I reach into my pocket and pull out the key Reggie gave me so I can enter whenever I want since his parents aren't home often.

It didn't take more than one step inside before I could hear a sound that couldn't be misinterpreted.

“That asshole!” I mutter angrily.

Following the sounds, I'm confronted with the bedroom door I've sneaked into hundreds of times when I couldn't sleep: a plain white door made of solid wood with a nameplate beneath a drawn football. Even now, it looks adorable. But the noise quickly takes me away from the beautiful memories that Reggie and I have built over the years of our relationship, which was initially secret and later public.

As I pull the door open, I could see Reggie and Archie, of all people, lie on the former's bed, their pants at their ankles, and Archie has his shirt behind his back, showing off his abs. Both have the other's thick, long cock in their hands.

To my annoyance, Reggie takes a moment too long to realize what a mess he's gotten himself into. I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on, in particular, because I know that neither would ever give their ass up for the other or any guy. I quickly realized what it is really about.

When I look over at Reggie, he's already trying to hide with his blanket and even a pillow I usually use for sleeping. He must have seen the anger on my face and is rightly afraid of my reaction.

“Cut the shit, Reggie. We both know, maybe even all three of us know, what that is. What’s wrong with you?” I ask him rhetorically. “Just because I said ‘no’ to a threesome? Do you think this will change my mind?”

Like a fish out of water, Reggie opens his mouth without making a sound. His head is getting redder by the second, probably out of embarrassment. Meanwhile, Archie just sits next to Reggie, showing off his great body and magnificent big member, which is almost as large as Reggie's. He flexes his muscles, making it obvious that he's involved.

"Please, we can just forget about this and-"

Before he can say anything else, I interrupt him by saying, "Archie, go against the headboard, arms over your head."

He moves without question, his eyes glistening with growing lust. I pull my belt out of my pants, walk over to Archie, straddle him, and press his member against my dressed leg, making him moan involuntarily. I tie his hands tightly together. As I look into his eyes, I place my hand on his cheek and my thumb on his bottom lip. I can see his desire for a kiss, and I'm not willing to deny him this wish. I lean in and kiss him softly. But he obviously didn't want any loving touch because he pushed his tongue roughly into my mouth. It's clear that he just wants his desires to be fulfilled. It reminds me of who really is in charge, that he only allows me to take the lead and even sit on top of him. He is much more subtly dominant than Reggie ever was.

Finished kissing Archie, for the moment, I turn to Reggie again, whose cock is still rock hard, but his face is white as a ghost.

“Remember, this is what you’ve always wanted, babe,” I tell him with a big grin. "Now I'm going to drain Archie's balls until all his cum is inside me. All the while, I'll jerk you off a little and maybe give you a blowjob, but you're not allowed to cum!"

“But-“

"No buts!" I interrupt him angrily. "You went behind my back to get what you wanted, so I'm giving you what you wanted, just not how you wanted it."

I once more turn back to Archie and take off my tight shirt, making the lust in his eyes even greater. This will definitely be fun.

[Masterlist]

#x male reader #male reader #riverdale x male reader #smut #reggie mantle x male reader #reggie mantle #archie andrews x male reader #archie andrews #riverdale #reggie mantle x archie andrews

227 notes · View notes

fakeuwus · 6 months

Text

UNDERSTAND | CHAPTER 4: u mean *OUR girlfriend

warnings: cursing, lowercase intended

word count: ~1.2k

“right this way ma’am.” you follow a producer through a park located by the han river. it was a gorgeous day outside, perfect for whatever was planned for you and this mystery date. “are you nervous?” the producer asks you with a smile. all you can do is put your best idol face on and tell him that you’re excited.

it wasn’t a complete lie but you weren't exactly sure what you were feeling at the moment. a bundle of nerves, anticipation, and anxiety were all jumbled in the pit of your stomach. in just a few short minutes, you were finally going to meet your “husband.” what if you said something stupid? what if you tripped over your own feet and fell on your face? your career would be over before it’s even gotten started, you think to yourself.

running our hands over your light purple dress, you focus on smoothing out any wrinkles as a way to de-stress. first impressions meant a lot to you and you couldn’t have anything out of place, especially if your partner was cute (which you really hope he is). when there were no more wrinkles in sight, you were stopped by the producers. “alright, when we say action just keep walking and act as natural as possible? got it?” you simply nod your head and get yourself ready to film. you should be used to the cameras at this point, but it always takes a bit of time to adjust.

once the cameras start rolling, you continue walking and spot bright, pink bows wrapped around the trees. you look at the crew with a confused smile. they gesture for you to keep going, so you follow the trail of trees with the cute bows. the decor eventually leads you to an open area with a blanket on the ground, holding an assortment of snacks and foods. you sit on a cushion and take a moment to look at everything laid out before you

you’ve been on many picnics before with your members but none as extravagant as this one. the white blanket and pillows are the softest you’ve ever felt and there are so, so many types of foods displayed that must’ve cost a pretty penny. perks of having a production crew funding your dates you guess.

from behind you, jay slowly walks up with the big bouquet in his hands. though no one could tell, jay was just as nervous as you were. he makes himself believe it’s because he’s afraid you wouldn’t like what he planned. did he go too simple? were you one for more fancier meals? he thinks it's just the pressure of the date turning out well for the views and he’s definitely not nervous about who you could be. no, he doesn’t care at all. he just needs to get through this first filming so he can go back to the dorms to play games with his members.

at this point, jay is so close, but you have no clue since you’re still admiring everything around you. you swear you could hear the staff giggling in the distance but before you could question it, someone’s arms wrap around you while setting a bouquet of white flowers on your lap. a gasp leaves your lips and you turn around, finally seeing the face of your husband for the first time.

park jongseong. your pretend husband for the next couple of months is no other than park. jongseong. realizing you haven’t moved in what felt like an eternity, you quickly stand up making sure to bow to him. even though you’re internally freaking out, you don’t forget your manners (you also don’t forget how disastrous it would be for a rookie idol getting caught not respecting their senior.) “uhh hi. I’m park jongseong, but you can call me jay.” his hand reaches for yours to give a firm handshake and your skin becomes hot by this little interaction. your brain is short circuiting because what the fuck? THE park jay not only touched your hand but also had his arms wrapped around you? yeah, you definitely weren’t surviving the day.

affter getting over your mental breakdown, you finally find the words to introduce yourself. “hi! i’m yn. thanks for the flowers by the way, they’re beautiful.” jay doesn’t miss the wide smile adorning your lips and he mentally thanks heeseung for the suggestion. “well shall we?” he gestures for you two to sit down and start eating the picnic food. there’s an awkward yet comforting silence in the air as you guys are enjoying the delicious treats the crew prepared.

jay notices how every two minutes you have to adjust the bag on your lap that’s covering your legs. stupid, stupid, stupid he thinks to himself. he hated that his idea of a picnic could’ve made you even a little uncomfortable in your pretty dress. he moves to take his jacket off and drapes it over to cover you and for the second time today, jay’s actions surprise you. the kind gesture makes your heart swell and you can’t help but blush.

“so…”

“this is kind of awkward, isn’t it?” you ask with a nervous laugh. “ i mean yeah, but don’t first dates always start out like this?” you nod your head and look away for a moment, spotting both of your managers taking photos of you guys. putting your attention back on jay, you shrug your shoulders. “I wouldn’t know i’ve never been on one.” when jay says he hasn’t been on one as well, you feel yourself relax. It comforts you that you both don't know what the hell you’re doing here.

after that exchange you find it quite easy to converse with jay. you match each other’s energies, quickly becoming comfortable enough to tease one another. the two of you start getting to know each other better with topics ranging from trainee days to what your personality types are.

a little later you express how it’d be a nice day to take pictures but your phone had died on the way there. upon hearing that, jay surprises you for a third time, offering to take pictures for you on his phone. “we have to exchange contacts anyways so i’ll send them to you. it’s no biggie.”

jay wishes he got a staff member or manager to take pictures of you because he’s finding it really hard to complete this simple task. taking pictures is like second nature to him but suddenly he can’t bring himself to focus. not when you’re standing right in front of him looking so pretty while posing with the flowers HE got for you. pretty? did he just call you pretty? he won’t lie to himself. you’re a gorgeous woman, anyone would be blind to not see that. he pushes those thoughts to the back of his head, leaving them to deal with later.

“and cut! okay good job guys. we’ll see you next time.” the producer’s voice rings in your ears and you’re reminded that this whole time you were filming. the awkward energy between you and jay returns and you’re not sure what to do next. “thanks for everything jay. i really enjoyed myself today.”

“it was my pleasure, really. i had a lot of fun too. i’ll text you the pictures later, yeah?” you two bid each other goodbye and as you’re walking back to the van your manager nudges your shoulder. “so, jay huh?” you playfully roll your eyes at his statement and try to fight the smile creeping onto your lips.

previous | masterlist | next

MESSAGE FROM NIC: ahh they finally met!! im not too good with my writing yet so hopefully this was decent enough 😣 as always, feedback is appreciated! love u guys 🫶🏼

TAGLIST: @enmayz @02zhoonie @myjaeyunn @shinrjj @justandloyal2961 @wonsays @enhaz1 @quemirasboboandapaya @mrchweeee @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @in-somnias-world @stqrrgirle @heesbaby @dear-hoon @karinasbaby @ariadores @sunjaywoning @jjhmk @en-happiness @chandlerscigarettes @sunsunl0ver @yenqa @fluerz @ikeusol @faraonatojishady @ohmykwonsoonyoung @nicholasluvbot @enhypeniara @mari-oclock @randomperfections05 @astrae4 @cassie6392 @jongseongslvr @kwiwin @bbangricz @darly6n @kyanmeai @crusholics @cheybabey @glitterssim @jiawji @luvkpopp @ivshypen07 @noascats @rory-cant-sleep @miujunhui @odisdad @luveuism (i couldnt tage the blogs in bold!)

318 notes · View notes

night-daily · 9 months

Text

Angeleyes | Thomas Shelby x fem! reader

summary: Where does Thomas go if his home is wherever you are?

warnings: angst, cheating.

a/n: I was listening to ABBA and well this come out :]

You were tired of it. The same fucking discussion with your husband, Thomas Shelby. You only wanted to know where he spends all his time because it wasn't with you, not anymore. You haven't seen him for almost a month and it's driving you crazy, he only comes home to shower and then he leaves you alone in that big cold house.

Why he couldn't just tell you the truth? What was he hiding from you?

“Just work love, now stop making questions, will ya?” That's all he has been telling you since you started asking about his absence. You trusted Tommy with all your heart but you couldn't stop feeling uneasy, all the people warned you before getting married to the boss of the Peaky Blinders ''He'll get tired of you, he always does'' ''You aren't the first one to believe you could change him'' and of course, you didn't paid attention to them, because he always was different with you, but now? You weren't sure anymore. This is what people mean that life changes after marriage?

You wake up in the middle of the night and Thomas wasn't by your side, again. You couldn't go back to sleep without knowing where he was, so you dress up and got ready to go outside to look for your husband. The first place you went was The Garrison only to find out he wasn't there. You left the bar when a group of three women cross your path.

“Lookin' for your husband, Mrs. Shelby?” one of them asked, you just nodded your head, “You should try the street across the river and look for the gray house” they giggled leaving you alone.

You have an address, were you ready to know the truth?

You hugged yourself and begin walking down the street, passing by the drunk people, getting tired of walking even considerate if you should go back home but you were here you couldn't just back up, you weren't a coward after all that was one of your attributes that make Thomas fell in love with you.

You were closer to the river when you saw him, all the moonlight over him making him look handsome it was a breathtaking sight but he wasn't alone.

By his side was a blonde girl, you keep watching them carefully, he was holding her hand and she was pretty, you wanted to do something but you were frozen and the way he looked so happy broke your heart.

Last night, I was taking a walk along the river

And I saw him together with a young girl

When did he stopped loving you? Was everything a lie? You still can remember his vows at your wedding, you felt your eyes filling up with tears.

And the look that he gave her made me shiver

'Cause he always used to look at me that way

“I can't promise you everything will be like the romance books you read” you laughed with glossy eyes, “but I can promise you my loyalty, my respect and my endless love, because I didn't even know what was home or how it felt it to have one, and now everywhere I'm with you it feels like home” he stared at you, with that ocean eyes you loved it so much. “Now everyone watches how I kiss the fuckin' prettiest girl”

You stand there watching him wrapping his arms around her waist, she leans to kiss him but then he lifts his head and made eye contact with you, everything stops moving, for a moment you feel it's only you and him again but isn't, not anymore.

He'll take your heart and you must pay the price

Look into his angel eyes

You turned yourself and rushed to walk to the corner of the street, you're shaking and after all you saw you only want him to come after you, like he used to do, hug you and tell you everything will be alright. You waited for him because you aren't ready to say goodbye, the seconds pass by but he never comes and you finally break down, sobbing and crying so hard that your chest hurts.

You'll think you're in paradise

And one day you'll find out he wears a disguise

You have to walk back home- to that big cold house. On your way back you only can think about the last three weeks, everything was making sense, the smell of another perfume on his clothes, his disappearance everyday, the same excuse every time you asked him about it, how could you been so blind?

You rushed to the house, packing all your stuff, clothes, shoes, everything and when you went to your bathroom, you saw yourself in the mirror, empty eyes, it wasn't you, he broke all of you.

You watched your shaking hands and took off your wedding ring, the only thing you would leave him it'll be an abandoned wedding ring on the bathroom counter. He doesn't deserve more, he doesn't deserve you.

With all your stuff packed, you leave the house which not always felt so big and cold.

pt 2

#thomas shelby #tommy shelby #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x y/n #thomas shelby x you #peaky blinders #thomas shelby x fem! reader #thomas shelby fanfic

259 notes · View notes

deadlything · 27 days

Text

this was inspired by a post about the similarities between gwyn and az made by @olenvasynyt. i want to yap a little bit or a lot about how the difference in their personalities lends itself beautifully to a relationship between the two of them, because seeing how they play off each other in the bonus chapter really did close any doors that i'd been keeping open in the hopes that e/riel would eventually win me over.

It was too late to bank without appearing like he was running. Azriel landed in the ring a few feet from where Gwyn practiced in the chill night, her sword glimmering like ice in the moonlight. She stopped mid-slice, whirling to face him. "I'm sorry. I knew you all were going to the river house, so I didn't think anyone would mind if I came up here, and —" "It's fine. I came to retrieve something I forgot." The lie was smooth and cool, as he knew his face was. His shadows peered over his wings at her.

azriel starts the conversation by being short with her. he's lying, "smooth and cool," being curt and closed off with her. (even while his shadows are trying to get a closer look at her.) gwyn isn't bothered by it, though — she smiles at his shadows, then is truthful and open with him even though he isn't being truthful and open with her.

But she just hooked her coppery-brown hair behind an arched ear. "I was trying to cut the ribbon." She pointed with her sword at the white ribbon, which seemed to glow silver.

they have a short exchange after this and then silence falls between them. their gazes meet, and then azriel remembers gwyn as he first met her in sangravah, and how different she is now. (chronologically the next chapter after this is the chapter where gwyn becomes the first to cut the ribbon and become a valkyrie, and cassian notices that azriel is looking at gwyn with "admiration and quiet encourgement" on his face — we don't get azriel's exact thoughts in that moment, but i really and truly believe he deeply respects her and how far she's come.)

here, gwyn immediately picks up on the fact that azriel is thinking about sangravah; she ducks her head and dismisses him, giving him an out to exit the conversation. but he doesn't. instead he immediately changes tone.

He snorted. "Are you kicking me out?" Gwyn's teal eyes flashed with alarm. "No! I mean, I don't mind sharing the ring. I just... I know you like to be alone." Her mouth quirked to the side, crinkling the freckles on her nose. "Is that why you came up here?" Sort of. "I forgot something," he reminded her. "At two in the morning?" Pure amusement glittered in her stare. Better than the pain and grief he'd spied a moment before. So he offered her a crooked smile. "I can't sleep without my favorite dagger."

next gwyn asks him about the solstice party, and instead of going back to being curt and aloof like he was before, we see az fumble a little and try to shift the subject back onto her. we also see the shadow dancing that was heard around the world here — not because gwyn is an evil lightsinger, but because (in my opinion) this is it, this is the music between souls that is so often used to describe the mating bond. the cold and aloof azriel who's been bottling everything up is actively looking for ways to keep this conversation going rather than shutting it down and just going to bed.

"How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music. "Fine," he said, and realized a heartbeat later that it wasn't a socially respectable answer. "It was nice." Not much better. So he asked, "Did you and the priestesses have a celebration?"

gwyn answers. but they're very much alike. she's just as stubborn as he is — but i think she can tell that she's poking into something that he doesn't want to talk about. instead of letting him flip the conversation entirely around and make it about her again, though, she asks him a different question. just like gwyn was one of the people who was patient enough to "keep holding out her hand" until nesta opened up to her, she's willing to flip this conversation back and forth until azriel opens up a little bit. and she somehow guesses something about him that no one else seems to know, breaking right through his guard.

She angled her head, hair shining like molten metal. "Do you sing?" He blinked. It wasn't every day that people took him by surprise, but... "Why do you ask?" "They call you a shadowsinger. Is it because you sing?" "I am a shadowsinger — it's not a title that someone just made up." She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. "Do you, though?" she pressed. "Sing?" Azriel couldn't help his chuckle. "Yes."

he changes the subject again after this, telling gwyn to try cutting the ribbon again because he doesn't want her to ask him anything else about his singing. and she does, and i love that she does, because it's one of the differences between them that i think lends itself really well to a relationship between the two of them. he's opened up a little, but he doesn't want to talk about his singing; and she's willing to be the more vulnerable one and let him pick apart the mistakes she makes while trying to cut the ribbon, despite how competitive we know she can be. and it's absolutely the right call to make, because it settles the restless feelings he's been grappling with.

"You're turning the blade a fraction as it comes parallel to the ground," Azriel explained, drawing his Illyrian blade from down his back. "Watch." He slowly demonstrated, rotating his wrist where she did. "You see how you open up right here?" He corrected his position. "Keep your wrist like that. The blade is an extension of your arm." Gwyn tried the movement as slowly as he had, and he watched her self-correct, fighting against the urge to open up her wrist and rotate the blade. She did it three times before she stopped falling into the bad habit. "I blame Cassian for this. He's too busy making eyes at Nesta to notice such mistakes these days." Azriel laughed. "I'll give you that." Gwyn smiled broadly. "Thank you." Azriel dipped his head in a sketch of a bow, something restless settling in him. Even his shadows had calmed. As if content to lounge on his shoulders and watch.

and then we have everything that comes after, which i think gets overshadowed quite a bit because the chapter comes at the end of the book, rather than where it actually takes place in the timeline of the story. despite not having the time to speak with mor about vallahan or visit lucien to discuss the autumn court soldiers, azriel does find the time to give gwyn private dagger lessons after this. she becomes the first to cut the ribbon and become a valkyrie; something that cassian says he will remember for centuries, something he says he'll tell his grandchildren about, something that "causes the earth to shift and greater forces to peer into the training ring" — and azriel is looking at gwyn with admiration on his face. (cassian believes that azriel felt the shift, too, but since we're not in azriel's head after this, we can't be sure.) after not seeing even a hint of azriel's love of music in the entirety of the series up until this point, we see him in hofas humming and bobbing his head along to the music bryce plays, and actively asking her to play more. just from this one conversation, we see positive character growth from the both of them. character growth that does ripple out into the rest of the books, despite some people trying to say that this bonus chapter doesn't matter and/or that gwyn isn't important to azriel.

in summary: they're so much alike, but even their differences fit together like puzzle pieces and complement each other. (because they're mates.)

#pro gwynriel #gwyneth berdara #azriel #gwynriel #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #acosf

81 notes · View notes

reneezsq · 8 days

Text

haven

haven (noun.): a place of safety or refuge.

❛ !¡ pairing; neuvillette x gender neutral!reader.

❛ !¡ summary; through the hazy reminiscence of all that has been lost, the delicate affection consoled by the croon of the deceased one reappears, and it comes back like the billows swaying with the marine creatures.

❛ !¡ warnings; sagau, idk the genre tbh it’s sad but also cute at the end ?, not impostor!sagau but reader is not worldwide known as the creator.

❛ !¡ a/n; he smells like vanilla mixed with sea water, trust i’m hoyoverse.

He saw the coming and departing of many people. Immortal ones, who’s legacy has been lost with the time and that shall never come back. Mortal ones, who’s name has been passed down by their descendants, but the meaning has been lost through the myriad of different tales uttered in hopes of honoring them. Amongst them, he lost some people dear to his heart.

Many he does not even remember the color of their eyes, a laughter that he will never hear again, and that will be lost when the time will come to let them go of his mind. Some others have left a more prominent mark on his heart. His sorrows embraced by the waters themselves, and anyone that would dwell too deep would see just how much his only wish is to have one last word. For one, he never got to say goodbye, as she never really knew herself she would have done what has been done. She simply wished to appease the hearts. And for him, a companion that had stood by his and her side, a companion whose last question echo in his mind. He never really got an answer himself.

And with those, he can still feel the soft brushing of his hair. A hand soft and rough at the same time, laced with scars from the countless cuts that have been done to the world they had created, embedding it with love only to be destroyed little by little. He should have seen it coming — their departure, that is what he is talking about, — he should have prevented it. But how ?

How ? How could he have done such a thing when at the mere mention of their children dying at each other’s weapons, they shed tears. Painting those cheeks that tasted like summer with the pain of a parent. They were never really mad at anyone and anything, they had just lost the understanding and knowledge of what could be done by those they had created. They were a bit too candid on that field, believing that the golden age would remain as long as the grass was green, as long as the rivers were blue. It was all a lie, because even the gods of this world painted this beautiful dream with the red of their own veins.

And he was there. He cannot remember it all, if anything, the fact he is aware of the existence of such a moment is like having found a needle in a haystack. Because it is his past life that drowned in such warmth, not him. But he can still feel those moments, when the world hasn’t hurt them yet, when they were still his.

He found his own hair a nuisance at times, and every complaint on his end was shushed with a fugitive kiss that felt like the blooming of a flower in the heat of the spring. They would beckon him closer, and he would indulge this small trivial matter. A Sovereign and his Creator, basking in the golden hues of the dawn with the scent of rosemary and the fleeting protection of an everlasting love, like a flame that would never be extinguished. Even if a storm would have come, he knew back then that they would hold his hand and drown his worries in the deepest abyss he couldn’t even imagine.

And then, he would always feel it. Nails scratching his scalp with the tenderness of the moon kissing the sun. Those moments were as rare as an eclipse, they had duties and he did too, and when they found the time to love each other like they should, the next day would start, and with the fluttering of an eyelash, they would be gone with only a flower left for him to kiss. And they would come back when it wilted to love him a bit more, only to disappear another time, leaving him to love them a bit more as he waited. But, it was never the time to think of when they would leave, he preferred humming alongside them with the delusion that they would never abandon him.

He would always grumble when they teasingly stopped, letting him to plead for a bit more. And their arms would wrap around his neck, and he would grab their waist as he let his lips against this skin as soft and delicate as the clouds to convince them to show him again how much he meant in their eyes. And then, he would vibrate with sheer excitement and happiness at the pristine sound of their laughter. Like a siren trying to lure the captain in. Gladly, let him perish if he gets to hear that one more time.

During the days when they were a bit more weak, trembling hands attempting to braid his hair. They never admitted any weakness, but he could feel it all around him, and he could see it all around him. The birds were as quiet as a fish, as if daring to make them flared with a song too morose to make the atmosphere romancing enough. And when they would stop, to hug him and grab his hand tight, he knew that this crack on their skin was not an illusion. He had seen it in other immortal ones before they passed away, and he knew that it was hurting them. Even the almighty lacks the strength to duel the erosion. There was no point in fighting a lost fight.

Their last time, he knew it. He had guessed it was the last. Their eyes could not match the sun anymore, and it felt like the misery of the world was falling over him in an instant. Perhaps, he was the losing one from the start as he carried them all around Fontaine with the hopeless delusion that they would hold him a bit tighter, just this time. Strangle him to death, if they wish, he would indulge in any kind of destruction of himself if it meant they would remain in this world. Because Teyvat isn’t without the one that made it be. He isn’t without the one that loved him.

When they tightened their embrace, he felt no joy swirling in his heart. And his steps stopped dead as if he had become a tree whose roots were clinging to the ground deep below. It started raining. He never really felt the drops all over his skin and clothes, but he knows it by the last words they ever said to him.

“Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, don’t cry.”

That day, a part of him died too. They were freezing when he carried them to the streams, wishing that at least they could depart somewhere only the two of them knew. In his own fantasies, they were sleeping just a bit more deeply than usual, and he abandoned his jacket by their side to warm them up a bit. The last flowers they had given him were fully dead now, and it was his turn to have them some flowers. That way, they will know he loved them with all he had.

“Monsieur, is it all alright with you ?” His eyes met those of a small Melusine, standing proudly in front of him in her little uniform. He nodded and she knew he was lying, he only walked away after caressing her head, and she was left staring at the soaked scenery outside of the windows of his office. If only she knew how to console him, she had tried it all and he never gave any good answer. All that calmed him was playing with his hair in a certain way. Her and her sisters had to play with his hair, scratching his scalp, then stop to have him teasingly tickle them to continue. It was specific, perhaps he had gotten this habit from somebody else ?

His steps brought him to the shore, watching in the distance a scenery impregnated in his mind for a bit too long. He watched the waves come and go here for about the entirety of his existence, and the little marine creatures living there were no strangers to his company. They knew how well he enjoyed watching them give him some small shells that he would give back like a small funny game.

But this is when he heard it, the faint sound of shoes hitting against the sand a bit far away from everyone and everything. His instincts made him follow the noise like it was pulling him in, and he saw in the distance a figure basking in all the glory of the rain coming from above. They did not seem to mind it and were collecting some things on the beach like a child being given the authorization to do so by their parents a bit too used to this love of the water and all that came with it.

And he stopped a few feet away from this stranger, their eyes met his, and he could recognize the sorrows and happiness and pain and love he knew all those years ago. And he could have sworn that he was not in a dream. He wished that he was not in a dream, that this was a reality that was his and that he had found the one that he had lost, the one that had been his, the one that was his and that would remain as such for some more years. And with no sound, they smiled up at him, and the sun basked them in all the glory that was theirs.

Is this the meaning of coming back home after the storm ?

TAGGING:: @amxto; @dxmoness

143 notes · View notes

mochiwrites · 26 days

Note

Mochi I’m brainrotting over your secret husbands AU, are there anymore crumbs you can provide for a poor Scarian lover?

I CAN ABSOLUTELY PROVIDE MORE CRUMBS YES <- just got to class and is bored

we haven't touched on season 8 too much, have we? I think there's a lot of funny moments to be had from this season. because boatem. mumbo, impulse, and pearl. they definitely have bets in the betting pool, and you know they're going to be trying whatever they can

from pearl locking grian and scar in the g-train. to mumbo asking both grian and scar to join him on a picnic only to back out last second. to impulse making one of those cheesy "boat of love" trips in the chocolate river in his factory for them

these guys are pulling out whatever stops they can to get grian and scar together. and I think it's boatem that finally makes our married couple realize what their friends are trying to do. they don't get away with it for very long

cue scar meeting with impulse and just. starting to wax poetry about how wonderful grian is, and how much he loves him (impulse is sick of it /affectionate). cue grian moping around mumbo's base because he misses scar (he'll see him in a few hours) and he can't just tell scar he misses him (this one is true, because scar would tease him for days if he knew)

bonus points for scar bothering cub about his "grian situation" and grian bugging pearl about his "scar situation" (both are So done with their respective siblings)

impulse calls an emergency meeting. boatem is empty. grian and scar get an entertaining date night

the hat scar made for grian? has an engraving on the inside that says forever and always, light of my life. grian makes scar backup gear that's extremely mushy and scar solemnly swears to never lose it (he has it stored away in his ender chest)

the pranks!!!! pranks a plenty!!!! scar gives grian a run around over where he's building his mountain (they both know scar is going to choose his spot). scar getting stuck in bedrock is absolutely Layered with flirting upon flirting. they die in the void together, holding each other because grian tried to catch him

grian officially renames the magical menagerie to magical bebegarie for forever (once again, scar claims the charged creeper is their child now. grian is exasperated)

they pick up a habit of star gazing together in midnight alley, and have definitely fallen asleep together before. scar's started to keep a blanket up there when that happens

speaking of blankets... he's missing a few. and some of his shirts are missing. and huh, would you look at that, scar's found them in grian's nest. How Odd

though grian loves sleeping in the swaggon, it's unfair how comfortable scar's beds always are! and boy do the other members of boatem go crazy when they see grian leaving scar's base in the morning. and upon being questioned, grian and scar always say that they stayed up doing blueprints of builds together. which isn't technically a lie, sometimes. but most of the time it's a lot more... hands on ;3

and oh my god the ravager prank from big eye crew... I'm not saying grian and scar try to keep each other in their sights the entire time, but I'm definitely saying grian and scar keep each other in their sights. and after the ravagers are taken care of, they're hiding away in grian's base and cuddling for the next few hours, Do Not Disturb

also this extends far past season 8 but scar often wakes up with jellie curled on grian instead of him. he declares grian is feeding her extra treats so she'll love him more. grian denies this, but scar doesn't believe him

#mochi speaks #secret husbands au

80 notes · View notes

pinkdaisies9285 · 2 months

Text

Adonis Fooled Me

Jake Seresin x F!Reader (callsign: Kore)

Warnings: Angst, cheating, implied smut, this just pure sadness

Word Count: 2,118

Author's Note: It's finally here! The angst piece I promised and pulled out of nowhere. Not gonna lie didn't think I would write something this sad but here we are. It's loosely based on the myth of Adonis, Aphrodite, and Persephone! This was also spurred from listening to a lot of sad songs. Thank you again my lovely beta readers! Enjoy!

All you felt was pain, seeping from the invisible wounds that were created from this relationship. You felt like Icarus when he flew too close to the sun and began his fall back to the earth. You didn’t think that you would leave him like this. You thought that only Death’s cold hands would pry you from him, but you were wrong. You could still see the moment the final nail was put in the coffin.

His hands on her hips. The smile she gave him before he leaned in for a kiss. The look of dread both of them made when they saw you. The endless river of tears that marked your face while you ran out of the bar.

It was all too sudden but simultaneously, it felt like the final puzzle piece was put into place why he was avoiding your touch for the past six months. Why he didn't want to discuss a possible future with one another. Why he kept coming home “late from work.” It all made sense why he was slowly fading away from your sight and was going to her.

Her.

The one whose smile seemed like it could light up a room. The one who became his one and only. The one whose bed became his home and safe place. The one that seemed like a more plausible future to him.

At one point, you felt like you were all these things, but now you felt like a fraud. Like a toy that was left under the bed because it was broken. Broken was an understatement—everything you did to get him back to you was strenuous. Yet, you felt hollow, like you were never good enough. Good enough for the proud, cocky pilot he was. Good enough for the great Jake Seresin.

Everyone told you that you were imagining the downfall of this idyllic relationship. That you should know better about being in a relationship with a Navy man. He would be gone for long periods and that contact could be low. Yet, you knew in your bones that this wasn’t because of his job. His job had nothing to do with this except that the one he chose was the new coworker. The new pilot was known as Venus. She got the callsign from her looks and her ability to get through fights with ease. Dogfighting and war came to her like a second nature. Looking perfect was just a “bonus.”

His words, not yours.

While you were a civilian who worked at the local botanic gardens. Which resulted in your nickname of Kore. Which was given by the Daggers. When you first heard it, you felt special to be given a nickname, nonetheless one that is the name of a goddess. Who knew that your nickname would match your relationship. Who knew that you wouldn’t be the only goddess in his life.

Jake is everso an Adonis in the best and worst ways. From his looks to the suave one-liners he gave to women at the bar. He was a man worth the attention. That attention was what made you suffer. He made you believe that you were a match made by the fates but he left you for a better woman. A woman who could keep up with him in ways you couldn’t. A woman who revealed parts of him you didn’t even know about.

All these thoughts continued to twist the dagger in your heart deeper and longer. Pain that felt like it wouldn’t even ebb away. It would only grow and create a festering wound there. You knew that it would take a while for this pain to go away and the wound to heal. If it ever did.

—

And that wound did heal, somewhat. The ache dulled until it was a small pinprick that made itself present time from time. You healed your pain, it was messy but you did your best to build yourself back together stronger than before.

That was before you saw him again. You hadn’t visited the Hard Deck in a while and hoped that maybe you wouldn't cross paths with him. Yet, there he was standing near the dart board with Javy. He looked the same as before, before you left him with Venus. Venus, who wasn’t anywhere. You tried not to look for the beautiful pilot but that pinprick urged you to. Yet, everywhere you looked she wasn’t there. Which surprised you considering you thought she would be nestled up next to Jake while he threw darts. Something you used to do when you thought everything in the world was perfect.

“Kore?”

You turned around and saw Bradley looking at you confused and surprised, like he was seeing a ghost for the first time.

“Hi, Bradley. How are you?” you softly replied.

“Uhhh, great, and what about you?”

“The same I guess,” you looked away while muttering your reply. You felt eyes on your back so you turned your head and saw Jake was staring at you. He had a similar look to Bradley’s at first. Confusion and the look of seeing a ghost. Then it morphed into something like regret and woe. This made you confused because when you broke it off, Jake seemed unbothered about it.

Now, the Jake standing before you felt like a stranger. His face used to make you feel so flustered and shy. His words lifted you to a pedestal from which no one could kick you. His body would bring you to completion every time you intertwined. And all of that went down the drain with the simple words, “Okay, let's break up.”

Maybe that was the pinprick you still felt, the moment when his unfeeling gaze looked into yours. The moment that made your year-long relationship seem like it was nothing, completely down the drain. In your hazy dreams, you can still feel those cold eyes. Those same eyes were now looking at you with an array of emotions.

“Is that you Kore?” Jake had staggered over and was now a few feet from you. He seemed like he didn’t know what to do with his hands. They were fidgeting before he shoved them into his pockets.

“Hello Jake,” is all you replied with, you kept your tone flat and even. You were searching everywhere for an escape. You thought you could handle seeing him again, but this was awful. Mentally deciding that you couldn’t come back to the Hard Deck ever again. Seeing a way to get out, you skirt past him and try to return to the parking lot. Jake softly stops you by grabbing your arm. His clutch is gentle but firm.

“Can we talk?” He asked quietly. This was a surprise to you because there was nothing quiet about Jake Seresin. If anything, he was a loud personality that let the world know what was on his mind most of the time—looking down at your feet trying to decide what to say. Biting your lip, you realize that maybe you need some more closure about you and him.

“Fine, you get ten minutes outside,” you say with a small huff.

“Thank you, Kore,” Jake finally had a smile on his face after seeing you.

You quickly weave yourself through the crowd and step out to the beach. You don’t even look behind to see if he is following because you can sense that he trailed after you immediately. Stepping out onto the sand, so you are away from the noise and prying eyes, you turn and face the man who made you rebuild yourself.

“Okay, Jake your ten minutes start now.”

“Kore, baby–”

“Do not call me that,” you cut him off briskly. “ You lost that right a long time ago.”

“Sorry,” he looked down at his feet. “Kore, I want to apologize to you for what I did and how I handled the end of our relationship. If I could go back and change what I did–”

“But you can’t, Jake. You made a choice the moment you decided to fall in bed with her,” you refuted with tears in your eyes. You had tried so hard to stay strong, but that pinprick in your heart had quickly become a gaping wound again that sang of pain and woes.

“You’re right, Kore, I made a decision but that doesn’t mean that I don’t regret it. I broke things off with Venus instantly when I realized she wasn’t you,” He laughed looking down. “No one could come close to you, Kore, you made my life feel real.”

You could see a shimmer in his eyes when he looked back up. A single tear rolled down his face. You almost wanted to laugh. Tears? You didn’t want to see tears, you wanted to finish this conversation and attempt to move on. This anger coursing through your veins was what made you move. You were done with him and his antics. “Do you think I would believe that? That I made everything better for you while you made everything horrible for me?”

“Kore please just lis–”

“No, I’m done listening Jake. You got ten minutes to talk and wasted it in the first five. Do you think by trying to convince me that we need each other to feel “alive”, I’ll come back crawling to you? No, I know now that I can't fix the flaws that tore apart our relationship.”

“What do you mean flaws, Kore?” he asked looking confused about why you deemed your relationship to have flaws. He thought that the relationship between you two was perfect.

“You can’t be serious, Jake. The fact that I had to be at every single event dealing with your job but never mine. Or how about the fact that you struggled to even show me your own emotions during our entire relationship? There are so many more fucking things I could point out, Jake!”

By the time you finished saying this, you were huffing for air. It felt like no matter how deep of a breath you took, the oxygen wasn’t reaching your lungs. The anger you felt was starting to fizzle out but you weren’t done. You still had more to say about the somewhat tragedy of your past relationship with Jake.

Jake stood there stunned, he had never seen you like this. Your anger was like a dagger to his heart, while the words you used twisted it deeper. Jake felt like there nothing would change your mind. The ache he feels in his bones will never go away and you wouldn’t be the relief he wanted you to be.

“Jake, it's time to let me go. We’re not good for each other, we’ll only be each other’s downfall. I don’t want that, Jake. I wanted to be more than just a footnote in your story, but I’ll never amount to that. So this is goodbye, Jake,” you lamented. You started to make your trek back to your car, and you could hear Jake begging you to come back.

“Kore! Please, Kore, come back. I was wrong for what I did. Please, baby, come back. I know I can do better this time. Kore!!!”

You kept ignoring all these little white lies he was giving you and continued slowly staggering back to the car. When you made it back to your car, you simply opened the door and sat down in the driver’s seat. Finally, the dam opened, and the tears flooded out. The tears that were waiting for this moment. You thought you were done crying over this man but you guess you were wrong. As the tears slid down your face, you looked over to see that Jake was still standing there. He looked like a statue, frozen by Medusa to be forever stuck in that position. Standing there and yearning for your embrace.

Maybe that was what you truly were to him, Medusa. A being cursed to never feel too connected to anyone. He made you feel like a villain that was his damnation. Yet, he tried to make you believe just now that you were his saving grace. What a hoax that was.

You put the key in the ignition and start your car. Pulling out of the parking lot and beginning your drive back home, the streaks on your face began to dry. You felt numb. This entire interaction was bittersweet, nothing good came out of it. Jake was the man who made you rebuild yourself, and now you are back at square one. Jake Seresin was a man who could never learn to be better. He was a man that was damned to be an Adonis that fooled you.

Please like, comment, and/or reblog!

Masterlist

Divider Credit: @cafekitsune

70 notes · View notes

writemekpop · 1 year

Text

Five Nights in Tokyo | Jung Jaehyun

Summary: Living in Tokyo with your new husband Jaehyun was your dream – but you feel suffocated. When you abandon him with no explanation, he is furious.

Genre: Angst, suggestive, newly weds AU

Word Count: 1.2k

“Where the hell have you been?” your new husband Jaehyun asks, springing up from the bed. You close the door behind you.

You look around the small, dirty one-room you are sharing in Tokyo. Empty coffee cups teeter in the sink, crumbs litter the bedspread. It disgusts you.

Jaehyun’s cheeks seem hollow, his gorgeous hazel hair in disarray. “It’s been five days. I thought I would have to drag the river for you.” He looks furious. “Where have you even been sleeping?”

You remember the lewd neon street signs welcoming you into smoky bars, a new one every night. You lingered till the bouncer threw you out. In the day, you made a habit of holding coffees in cheap cafes until their owners, too, asked you to move on. You slept whenever you could, as if you might never sleep again.

“Here and there,” you say.

Jaehyun’s chest heaves. “You left me here with no money, no food, no drink. Not even a cigarette! Do you know how cold Tokyo is in December?” A shiver runs through him.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic. You’re always so dramatic,” you say. You would do anything to make Jaehyun stop speaking right now.

“I came here for you, remember?” Jaehyun says. He is standing now, the muscles in his neck and arms rigid. “I moved halfway across the world for you and your fancy new job. When you met me in Seoul, I wanted to die. My heart had just been broken by my girl, the love of my life. You are cruel. You made me want to live again, just to make my final death bloodier.”

You sigh, looking over Jaehyun, through the tiny window above the sink. In the distance, the sun is setting. You wish you were out there right now. “I’ve heard this story before,” you say.

You are not looking at him, but you can feel his shivers growing stronger, frustration bubbling visibly beneath his skin. “You’ve destroyed me! You don’t- you don’t love me at all. You never did. In fact, you are incapable of loving anyone. I wonder if you even loved your own parents, or if you just stared coldly up at them, waiting for milk.”

He hurls a coffee mug against the wall. It thuds against the exposed brick, then shatters into a thousand pieces over your bed.

The sound starts an earthquake down your spine. You’re alert now.

“What you call love is just servitude,” you say. “You want me to be your obedient little wife. You can be the big strong man, bringing home the money. I’ll cook for you, clean for you, lie with you at night. One day, I’ll have your babies, and then you’ll be done with me!”

Jaehyun scoffs. “You don’t really believe that. But you say these lies, because you know they will hurt me. You’ve lied to me since the moment we met. You think I don’t know that when I kiss you, I’m kissing nobody? That when I make love to you, I’m making love to nobody? You don’t live in this room at all. You live somewhere else, somewhere far outside that window, or perhaps at the bottom of the sea.”

The sour smell of the room suffocates you. The air is as thick as gelatine. “I want to leave this room,” you say. “I want to be away from you.”

Jaehyun smiles, a bitter, hurt smile. “That is the first honest thing you have said to me.”

But he doesn’t seem to realise you are being serious. Because when you turn to leave through the door, he grabs your hand.

In your surprise, you turn and look at him.

Jaehyun has transformed.

All the anger has left his face, which now seems soft and plump. He smiles softly, his brown eyes as sweet as caramel, his beautiful eyelashes thick with tears. “I didn’t mean it,” he murmurs. “I’m not mad. I love you, baby.” He rests his chin on your shoulder. “Don’t leave me.”

This is not love, you think. Jaehyun is clinging to you like a life raft in a storm. Disgust curls your stomach.

“You don’t love me. You need me.” you say, coldly.

Jaehyun’s gentle voice grows harsh and sarcastic. “And what were you doing in the bars and nightclubs of Tokyo? Was that love?”

Now you’re thinking of the anonymous men you accepted drinks from, their names blurring into one. You think of those five dirty minutes in the dark. You think of how your mind would wander far from what was going on between your legs. You think of the gritty, shivering hours after.

You are surprised by the wave of recognition you feel. You are no different to Jaehyun. Both of you are just searching, day in, day out, for a home. Both of you are diving into the rims of sake bottles, cigarette filters, lovers’ arms… and discovering that they are hollow at the centre.

You turn back to Jaehyun. He is so beautiful. You trace his high, noble cheekbones, the soft shadow of his dimples, the plump purple of his lips. You are struck by an overwhelming urge to comfort him.

Pulling him close, you feel him fall to his knees against you. You coil your fingers in his bronze hair. An immeasurable moment later, you shift, and gently brush all the glass pieces off your bed.

Then, you pull him onto it. Jaehyun’s lips melt effortlessly into yours. The shape of his body fits perfectly into yours, like he is following an invisible blueprint. It feels… right.

Biology choreographs the dance. Your eager hours apart time it. It is only now that you are in Jaehyun’s arms that you realise that in all your wandering, you have been wandering back to him.

Afterwards, you both lie on the bed, completely naked. In the chill of the Tokyo night, you keep each other warm.

You kiss Jaehyun’s eyelids, his lips, his nipples, wracked with guilt. The past few days, you have abandoned him, left him alone in a strange country that he only travelled to because he loves you. You have stopped appreciating that Jaehyun is your home.

“Don’t be sad,” he says, as if he can read your mind. “We are together now.”

“Let’s get out of here,” you say. “Let’s leave this awful city. Let’s go to Seoul – we can go to your home.”

“No, not Seoul.” Jaehyun says. He pauses thoughtfully. “I don’t think I have a home there anymore. Let’s go somewhere completely new.”

“I will never be a stranger to you again,” you say, gazing earnestly at him.

He kisses you gently on the lips. “Me either.”

—

MAIN MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋