#its pretty sick it gets me inspired to cook

[imtrashraccoon]

Chapter 4!

It took some time but the next addition to the story I am obsessed with telling is here!

Please be aware that there is a failed suicide attempt in this chapter. Also gaslighting and hallucinations. No shame if you would rather skip it as I have marked the section it starts at.

Otherwise, I drew more art for the flora featured so far!

Poison Silverleaf:

- Commonly known as Silverleaf, this plant is cultivated for its silver leaves that turn iridescent under the light of the moon. While everyone knows the plant itself is toxic to animals, only the best herbalists and gardeners know that when the juice from the berries is concentrated and heated up, it turns into an incredibly deadly poison. Anyone who ingests even a drop, will suffer from heart failure within the hour and many important officials have been murdered from their own gardens.

- The plant becomes a rather large bush that is often trimmed into various shapes for decoration. It has small silver leaves and produces small blue berries in vast quantities during the warm months.

- The plant is purely decorative and none of it should be eaten because of the toxicity. Depending on the amount ingested, you could be sick for many days with intense abdominal and chest pain. The plant is rather bitter though which keeps most people from actually consuming that much.

Bitter Root:

- Named for the extreme flavour the root has, this herb is another commonly used remedy, mostly for nausea and improving stomach discomfort. Generally, it is made into a tea but is not uncommon to add it to meals as cooking does lessen the bitterness a little.

- The root is light brown and grows in such a way that looks knobby. The plant part grows up to a foot tall and has narrow pink leaves and stems. It can become quite bushy if not trimmed back but is very easily propagated. (I was actually inspired by ginger root if that wasn't already obvious.)

- It is easily foraged and many gatherers make a pretty penny collecting them. Some prefer to grow it themselves though as it can take a while for natural growths to recover if over harvested. It takes at least 3 months to mature and only gets bigger over time, easily surviving the cold months and continuing to grow in the next year.

Touch-Me-Not:

- This plant grows rather tall and can reach 4 feet on average. It has a thick brown stalk with long leaves that branch from the base and reach about 3 feet in height. The top of the stalk ends in a bristle-like bunch of small red flowers.

- The plant itself is often used to make baskets or other weaved things because it's very strong when dried properly. The flower has a very strong scent and it's pollen acts as an allergen if you touch it. You'll probably get a small rash where it touches your bare skin. (I was inspired by a plant that is rather common along highways where I live called Poison Sumac.)

- Traditionally, the flowers are burned to get rid of pests like insects and small animals. Inhalation of the smoke is harmful even to humans and great care must be taken when using it.

#raccoons drabbles #the nightmare of apathy #paper art #watercolour #i have more but they haven't been in the story yet #maybe i could draw aylin's outfit next? #i dunno yet #undertale #dreamtale #reader #lord nightmare #nightmare x reader

[hypnotisedfireflies]

ooh, I'll ask - what's your headcanon for Australia, New Zealand, and Polynesia??

Thank you for asking! This was a fun exercise to get down in a doc and out of my head.

I think everyone knows that I’m Australian by now.  So yeah, it’s particularly entertaining for me to imagine how things might be in the TLOUinverse on my side of the pond for a change.

Many Polynesian nations escaped Cordyceps completely – Tonga, Tokelau, Kiribati and the Cook Islands amongst these.  They closed their borders and were essentially remote enough to be able to protect themselves from the first wave.  However, that didn’t mean they had an easy time of it.  Many of these nations rely on imports and with those grinding to a complete halt, they struggled in other ways to survive.  Some of these nations also had unwelcome visitors in the form of refugees from other countries trying to fly or boat in.  Most of these brought in sick people.   Some of the nations formed methods of screening refugees who made it to their shores, others rejected them completely, and some nations fell apart over the ensuing years, unable to support so many people. 

The North Island of New Zealand was completely overrun.  The South Island had a bad few years, but pockets of it were able to resist, and within a few years they were able to rally and take the island back.  They were mostly in control by 2005 – they were not fucking around – and Cordyceps-free by 2008.  The nation officially reverted back to its name in the Maori language,  Aotearoa me Te Waipounamu (but most just called it Aotearoa).

It was many years before they conquered the North Island, and then there were several years of warfare to fully secure it.  The haka performed before the Battle of Auckland (which was one of their final victories over Cordyceps in 2015) was renowned the world over – the Kiwis documented much of their war on film, and these were distributed to survivors across the globe.  These were often credited as inspiring a new generation of survivors not to endure and survive, but to fight.

Aotearoa me Te Waipounamu maintained contact with Australia throughout the war, but the situations in the two nations were very different.  The densely populated centres of Australia were decimated.  This is essentially all down the east coast from Brisbane, to Sydney, right down to Melbourne in the south.  Darwin, right in the top end, was also destroyed, but this was mainly from refugees fleeing other nations.  But Australia is a big, varied place, and not all was lost.

Many of the islands and remote towns around the country were able to find ways to survive.  And the largest island, Tasmania, proved to be a haven.  While its population centres were initially overrun like the rest of the continent, the army concentrated its efforts on eradicating Cordyceps in Tasmania first.  There were three major offensives before they got the tactics right and were able to declare the state Cordyceps-free.  The Government relocated here, but it was not the only success story.

Perth did okay.  This is probably because the Infected, much like everyone else in Australia, thought it was too expensive and far away to bother with.  Perth was the site of the first Quarantine Zone in Australia.  Australia had a number of these over time but they were very different to the North American QZs.  Australia’s tended to be constructed in remote areas, not large cities (with the exception of Perth).  They each supported some kind of industry to try and keep civilisation humming along.  These were not perfect, but most were successful. 

The one in Port Hedlund said “fuck you cunts,” to the rest of the country and declared itself independent.  The army didn’t much like that and it was dealt with pretty quickly.  Wagga Wagga, with its RAAF and army training bases, was established not long after Perth and continued recruit training at Kapooka and Forest Hill.  But some of the most successful survival stories came not from those within Australian Quarantine Zones.

Many Indigenous Australians, especially those in remote areas towards the centre, returned to country.  Some of their camps and communities were overrun like everywhere else, but a lot survived.  Some communities adapted so well that their lives were almost uninterrupted.

(It's difficult to explain the scale of Australia, and just how remote some Indigenous communities are, and how far they are from anything else. Suffice to say, there are people who know how to live on country in Australia in a way most of us cannot comprehend, and there are families and tribes that really could weather Cordyceps out - especially those towards the centre of Australia, where the conditions are dry and wholly unsuitable for a mushroom-based infection).

But the QZs kept in contact with one another and most importantly, with Aotearoa me Te Waipounamu.  Trade recommenced between Tasmania and the South Island once both these zones were fully secure, and over time, links were reforged with other smaller nations in the region.  The South Pacific Alliance was formed. By 2023, there was a good deal of cooperation – except for Perth, who also decided the rest of us could get fucked, and declared themselves as the Independent Nation of Perth or some crap.  Nobody was really listening, they’re pretty far away and no one wanted to go there anyway so it was like okay good luck bye.

… I don’t really have beef with Perth.  I’m sure it’s lovely. Anyway, thanks for the question! I'm not sure how plausible all of my theories are, but it's fun to consider.

#asks #driftersverse #tlou

[kentos-filmcamera]

now playing... VAMP ANTHEM

HALLOWEEN IS NOT OVER YET IN MY TIMEZONE SO inspired by this post @saneminx tagged me in, here's some vampire bf!nanami for y'all lol

cw: no beta reader we die like men, soft until its kinky, corny asf, oral (f. recieving), v. fingering, feeding, blood play (? ish), soft vampire bf nanami, if i missed something lmk

song title: vamp anthem by playboi carti

- vampire boyfriend!nanami who found himself the most ironic partner; someone who loves having fun in the sun and all the bright colors in existence 

- vampire bf!nanami who is so thankful evolution has guided him to withstand garlic enough to try the wonderful dishes you cook for him. 

- vampire bf!nanami who even laughs at your teasing jokes about all the stereotypes of his kind.

- vampire bf!nanami who found a liking in eating your pretty cunt for hours, the way you grind against his face whenever you feel his fangs graze your puffy clit drove him insane.

- vampire bf!nanami who now doesn’t feed on people unless it’s you, sinking his teeth into your inner thigh as the blood rushing down your body from the orgasm that shook you whole is delicious, and the way your moans increased from the feeling made his cock throb.

- vampire bf!nanami who fills you with praise after you’ve held on through his nutritious meal, fingers curled into that spot as he fills his stomach with your sweet blood.

- vampire bf!nanami who patches you up and runs you a warm bath, allowing you to fall asleep and preparing you a meal full of iron and other nutrients for when you wake up. he could never let his favorite treat get sick, of course! 

#WHEN THEM VAMPS OUTSIDE LIL BITCH U BETTER BE READY #that song is fire fr #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami smut #jujutsu nanami #nanami x y/n #nanami kento x reader #nanami x you #jujutsu kaisen #nanami headcanons #the film camera snaps a pic — 📷 gee writes

[thesimquarter]

Jade Pingree is the all-business (and pretty rude) head of the Barkersville Companion Club.

Meredith is part librarian and part party girl. She’s serious during the day, and playful at night.

v - ramblings under the cut - v

I almost never see people talking about the characters from the Sims 2 Pets GBA. I mean. that's understandable. Sims 2 Pets for GBA was not only released two years after the DS was released, but it was also bad.

The Sims 2 Pets for GBA takes a lot of inspiration from the other GBA Sims games, with an isometric artstyle and a mixture of adventure elements and simulation elements. Howeverrr, the problem seems to be that it doesn't feel like it actually knows what to do with it.

The minigames are tedious and boring. Aforementioned minigames pay peanuts and rely on an NPC being in a specific location to do them. Characters have little personality; 70% of the dialogue in this game is completely exchangeable. There's no way to easily find NPCs that you need to find (read: phone call), even though they all have schedules and move all the time. The game doesn't keep track of missions. There's like three different kinds of burglars, and there's no way to stop them from coming to your house (what the fuck). Training your pets is so tedious and repetitive and yet everything else feels like a distraction from it. You can randomly, and frequently, get sick, from fully cooking your food with eight levels of cooking skill and using good kitchen items. Everything breaks down and is dirty all the time. Eating dog food is safer than cooking. This game is having me eat dog food because just cooking feels like a risk. And there's just so much more that annoys me about it.

Okay, I'm done complaining. There's not much to compliment about the game. It does have its charm but wears off as the tediousness of all of its various mechanics settles in. I mean. I'd like to know more about the characters, but also... I don't care.

I really wanted to make Jade. Unlike nearly every other character, she does, actually, have a personality. Even if it absolutely sucks. Meredith is my favorite character in the game. I can't explain why, but her design is neat and she seems really nice and likable. I was considering doing more (read: Elza and Hugo) but after I finished these two I. couldn't be bothered.

I feel as if Meredith brings the Blue Hair and Pronouns to Barkersville. She also has this kind of warmness that I haven't really gotten from other characters in this game. And I believe she's close with Kirk (... Carbon?). I'd suspect they were dating, as they both have positive reactions when they mention each other and I caught them going on a Graveyard Date at 1:00 AM. But when I talked to Kirk he said even though he's with a girl, he thought Celina was hot. So I can only make one conclusion: leave your shitty boyfriend, Meredith!!!

And on Jade: She's definitely on the Barkersville HOA (and Barkersville definitely has one!). She's just that kind of demon. It's mentioned that the Pingree's are a wealthy family. So, I don't think she has a job. Instead, she just torments her community with her influence.

Anyways. I don't actually know anything else about these characters beyond this. So. Um.

I had a lot of fun making these; I'm planning on doing something similar to this for all the Sims 2 GBA characters. I remade them all a few months ago, wanted to do renders to show them all off, and I want the excuse to write things like this about every single character. :) (and. I tried to do them all at once. but um. hm. that's just a little too much.) It'll take a while to actually finish anything w/ that because i need to experiment with format. I gave some of them outfits in other categories than 'everyday,' so I'm thinking about rendering those out, butttt that's up in the air.

#the sims 2 pets gba #meredith crumbie #jade pingree #sims 2 pets gba #sims 4 cas #sims 4 render #i got (to learn how) to use light linking for these :3 #so both sims + their animals are all actually lit completely independently! #i love unrealistic lighting. unrealistic lighting is my passion. #absolutely abysmal on rendering speed though. god damn.

[scribbled-entity]

Cult of the Lamb Bishop Headcanons

By yours truly, whom can't play the game, and all knowledge of its lore stemming from the wiki and other's interpretations.

My own take on the revived/reborn bishops idea, inspired by those that had made their own, some in particular being @mossyflowers and @cultofthegugy , If you wish to implement these specific ideas to your art and/or story, let me know! and credit would be nice too.

Reborn Bishop's Traits

Besides the usual stuff like being reborn into a follower and losing all their power, Each Bishop still sustains the injury they've received from Narinder upon revival. As it feels to me that those wounds aren't the type heal, but they're reborn as if it healed over, but the damage is still there. Leshy is blind, Heket is mute, Kallamar is deaf and Shamura suffers with typical symptoms of mild traumatic brain injury, particularly short-term memory loss, headaches, dizziness and such. They keep scars of these injuries when they revived.

Narinder would be immune to old age, but wouldn't be immune to starvation, sickness, or any sort of attempt for his life, It's like a very small piece of the power he once had for ruling the domain of death, death won't come for him but if he stumbles into it it'll still take him. Therefore I feel that the others should gain the some boons too. Some of these are a bit of a stretch so feel free to suggest changes or even think up your own interpretations if you wish.

Leshy gains immunity to disorientation, any attempts to confuse him through startling, making many and loud noises, suprise him won't work. The Lamb would have him assigned in keeping order of the cult as they can keep a clear head while chaos ensues.

Heket gains immunity to starvation and poisoning, pretty self explanatory, assigned to deal with anything to do with food, especially cooking it. She wouldn't be inclined to sneakily eat the food supply or during cooking and her immunity to poison let's her check for suspicious substances in the food if anyone tries to sneakily put something that wasn't meant to be there. Immunity to poison because she is acclimated to toxins, There's no suprise that she who can dish out words so toxic and foul that even Narinder mentions it, can handle her own fair share of toxins.

Kallamar is immune to diseases, He's assigned as the doctor of the cult as he can effectively treat the sick without getting himself infected. And his immunity keeps him from getting scared of getting sick himself. Works for him as he isn't exactly fond of being around other people much. His familiarity with diseases and his cautiousness lends well with new role.

Shamura gains immunity to lies and trickery, their domain was knowledge but their knowledge is used offensively through tactics and strategy. No deception will work on them, as despite their constant headaches, seeing through facades is instinctive and accurate, quickly and strategically breaking through them with ease, their deduction is as sharp as ever. There's no other creature more capable of moving through thick web of lies than a spider. They deal with problems that arise between cult members, but the siblings often do their best to keep things from getting bad enough that it has to go through them as they didn't like disturbing them and causing them trouble.

Random Bishop Interactions

Heket has exaggerated way of expressing her emotions as she naturally compensate for her inability to speak. She often argues with Narinder and suprisingly Narinder quickly catches on with her way of communication. Some of the followers find the sight of the two arguing, with Heket making big gestures and expressive movements while hearing Narinder's remarks amusing. She can do sign language but once she gets impatient she instinctively just do gestures.

Shamura still loves Narinder and their new ability to see through lies and facade finally gave them the ability to truly know what Narinder felt about them. Because of this Shamura couldn't help but forgive Narinder quickly after their revival, but understands that their siblings are entitled to forgive him at their own pace. They enjoy seeing his true reactions whenever they say nice things about him.

Leshy despite being in charge of keeping order, occasionally ends up joining in with the ruckus when it ends up seeming to be fun. Chaos still run in his blood, but because of this he occasionally gets scolded for not doing his job. Leshy ends up being quite liked because of his mischievousness and keeps moral high.

Kallamar is often lock themselves up early on, being reborn to a measly follower made them feel more vunerable than ever. But despite this he learns to takes pride to his new role as the doctor and it allowed him to acclimate with the other members on a slower pace.

All the other bishops loved and cared about Narinder in their own way, But Narinder only truly felt that with Shamura, spending time with them when reborn will open Narinder's eyes to how they saw him, and how they all loved and cared about him.

Heket became particularly aggressive towards Narinder when he started becoming too ambitious with power because she as the Bishop of Famine hated greed in particular. His greed for power she didn't think he needed nor deserved rubs her the wrong way. Greed is often one of the causes of famine and she knew that if Narinder grew greedy for power, it'll be her and her siblings in danger. Awhile after being reborn she eventually somewhat makes up with Narinder when Narinder sees that they're both quite alike, both come across as rude and cold towards others, thinking being soft is weakness, fear being a good way to control others, and him learning why she's so aggressive towards him in particular, and learning to atleast try to get along for the sake of their siblings.

Narinder grows some level of respect for his brother Kallamar as he demonstrates that while he may be fearful and cowardly, this trait often kept both of them safe during missions as he's preparedness and cautiousness proved to be quite useful. Not to mention that when forced into a fight, fights incredibly fiercely without sacrificing caution. Though they also often take much longer to do missions because of him taking the long route of things every time.

Leshy wasn't that quick to forgive Narinder, but his anger towards him is often quickly got replaced by his excitement to finally be an older brother. He was so excited to finally have a younger brother to guide himself but things went by so quickly and before he knew it, Narinder betrays them.

All the siblings share deep respect for their eldest Shamura and often becomes the reason why they try to get along despite not wanting to otherwise.

Outro? Stuff

This is my first time for awhile making any sort of headcanons thing and certainly my first long one so please be nice to me sob

Do go check out @mossyflowers and @cultofthegugy ! I think they make cool art.

#cult of the lamb #cotl #headcanons #long post #digital drawing #fan art #Shamura #Heket #Kallamar #Leshy

[love-toxin]

All this devil may cry, and this fire emblem and anime....

You aren't gonna forget about stranger things, are you? I love everything you write, but your worshiper Eddie stuff is my new hyperfixation and I really don't want you to abandon it......

if i can be honest for a moment i get this question a LOT, and i have to say that this is both yes and no--but I'll give context! this is ellie gets real time ⬇️ (also a tldr at the end!)

idk how it is for other writers, but for me, I'm mostly directed by hyperfixation on its own--i pretty much go for whatever tickles my brain the most in the moment and gives me the most dopamine. i can't realistically write for the same thing on an endless loop and expect it to be good, or more importantly to be fun! sure, sometimes I'll be solely focused on one thing for a long time or other things for a short period, but sooner or later it's gonna be time for me to switch it up and try something new. which also means that even when I'm very invested in something and I have full intentions of continuing it, I need to take breaks and focus on something else to give my brain time to refresh and cook up some new ideas or recharge a bit so i can go back and work on stuff I've already started. if i keep staring at the same half-finished projects I'll end up getting so frustrated i just don't finish them at all.

i think when people see me talking about other interests their first reaction is often to assume that I'm gonna be dropping whatever I'm doing at the moment, but not so! stranger things especially is an overarching interest for me that backgrounds my fixation even when I'm concentrating on other things. i think for a lot of new readers on my page (hello new lovelies!) they haven't been around to see me do that with other things, for example; i wrote an insane amount of MHA fic when i started out here to the point that i completely burnt myself out writing essentially that and nothing else, which ended up turning me off of even watching the series or keeping up with it, mostly because i assumed that was people wanted to read and i just wanted to write what people liked even i ended up hating what i produced.

but now i do it for myself! i can't say with complete certainty that I'm gonna be writing fic for a certain fandom for the rest of my life, but i mean i also can't say with certainty that I'm not gonna get hit by a meteorite and turned to space dust either LMAO. i totally get the concern and i understand even getting annoyed when someone becomes known for something specific and then breaks away from it suddenly, but you really have nothing to worry about! fandoms i used to love years ago and drifted away from still come back for me to obsess over, it's extremely rare for me to just completely let go of a fixation even when i burn myself out on it. everything is a cycle! if i start talking about something else, take it as a good thing--it means that i understand that I need to do something different so that i can come back to it when I'm fresh with ideas and enthusiasm. the last thing i want to do is turn this into a chore or a responsibility in my mind, because that's a one-way ticket for me to lose all sense of enjoyment with it and that's not what i signed up for! im doing it to talk about tits and pull bitches! priorities!! <3

tl;dr - you don't have to worry about me dropping stranger things, it's just important for my motivation and inspiration to keep my fixations diverse and take breaks so i don't burn myself out writing the same thing on repeat and getting sick of it!

#ellie talks #anons

[pashminalamb]

BELLE LOVE YOURE BACK!!!!!!!!! I've missed you so much 😭😭😭!!!! I'm so sorry to hear that you're sick though 😖😖. That seriously sucks, but I hope you feel better soon!!! Also I have a confession to make. I know I said I was working on blue lock drabbles. But like. The TR season 2 opening just dropped. I am not the same woman I was 1 hour ago. Episode 13 of bllk will probably kick-start my inspiration for the writing again (hopefully) but I'm hitting a block atm and all I can think abt is TR right now 💀💀. I have actually been so productive this winter break that it's insane. Cleaning, cooking, organizing, writing, etc. It's hard to believe I was the same person as last year tbh. I'm a hoarder and a sentimental sap so I never throw anything away 💀🥲. BUT I got rid of so much unnecessary stuff yesterday and I'm actually kind of proud of myself. I've been meaning to go to the gym again, but finding the motivation is hard, especially in the early morning when I'm drowsy and tired. I know it's not an excuse and I plan on going to bed early tomorrow so I can wake up without feeling tired 😤😤. Wish me luck 🥹🤞🏼!!! Also also. I have currently been listening to the new opening on loop since I heard it came out don't judge me and I'm pretty sure I have the entire visuals and lyrics matched up inside my head atp where I can hear it and know which character is on screen 💀💀💀. It's the same with the season 1 episodes again no judging. Yes I'm normal abt this 😌😌. Anyways ✨. Idk if you've seen my posts, but I have been freaking out abt the new opening since this morning adjkhgggkjggfdhjhg. I am so excited about next week. You are gonna be sick of me once the first episode drops I'm calling it now 😭😭💀. Anyways onto the actual important stuff. How was your vacation and holiday?? Good I hope?? How's the move to a03 coming along?? Again, I hope you feel better soon (Oliver sends his love from Italy ❤️❤️❤️)!!! Make sure not to overwork yourself and take care of yourself and rest okay love?? I really have missed you tho 🥹❤️. *sending all the virtual hugs and blankets and warm soup to you*

- ✨ anon

YES! I have returned !! I missed you too T.T , ahh its good to be back. ps. not only have i managed to fall sick... I uh... I twisted my ankle last night when I was celebrating new years. There was so much that happened last night, the dancing, hanging out with my roommates and last but not least. there were a lot of pretty boys at the club; but honestly, they were strutting around the place like some proud peacock and were intimidated by my height (yeah i was the tallest one last night with my three inched heels) and my calves are killing me rn; but totally worth it ✨ I SAW THE NEW TR OPENING! Pretty sure the fans are gonna crash the website; i wouldn't be surprised honestly- I am so looking forward to the new eps !! I read the latest chapter of bllk and... *sobbing cause no Oliver* Anyway, getting back to Tr; I am excited for the new season !! And i wanna see more of bonten and the shiba brothers arc, now i'm thinking if they're gonna introduce Nahoya and the whole baby of the family thing (cause the way i cooed when I was reading the manga) Girl. I saw you posted about Chainsawman !! And during vacay, we were passing by a bookstore... I uh... I ended up buying vol 4 with Aki as the cover. (i love it sm and i'm gonna treasure it even if I haven't reached that part yet) - the look i got cause the amount of profanities in there on opening one of the pages 😭 Vacay was fun, spent some time in the countryside and got a hold of new experiences that inspired me to re-write ruined rome (a project that i had started for Rin earlier on my blog) there was a cute guy on the bus who was watching rising shield hero i think? and i was busy watching one punch man cause i didn't get time to finish it, *sad cause i shoulda asked for his @ but i was really shy to talk to him and kinda disoriented cause of no sleep*

As for the move to ao3; I released the new chapter of Ocean hues and I'm working on a spotify playlist that you guys can play it when you read the series; hopefully you guys will enjoy it <3 speaking a bit and giving spoilers for the series; i included some of my dreams with Oliver (yes i am a simp and idc) And i have my oneshots saved in my draft, that will be getting posted as well... ao3 is getting fun for me cause i figured a way on using dividers and pictures. Not to mention even if ao3 does seem complicated its actually pretty easy to get by and i'm getting obsessed with alice in borderland- THE NEW SEASON IS FINALLY OUT! so i'm gonna be completing that and stone ocean's new eps (yes me likes JJBA. *likes jonathan, joseph and Jotaro*) And no bb ♡ i like seeing your rants on my dash and also. I. squealed at your Oliver drabble. Like i was walking around, stood for coffee before my flight at some 1 o clock in the morning and i saw this. And my gah- the way i was staring into my phone, I had a jolly good christmas and an early new year 😭 *busy working on a list of yandere wips and thinking the title to give my work*

*sending back hugs and wuv along with Bachira*

#belle.☏ #.moot🍦: ✨ anon

[jadorelesradis]

So, I’ve been comparing the “will to live” scale to the “will to die” scale and it’s not great but could be worse?

So, I’m not hugely motivated to live and go through all it entails (good or bad) but at the same time I don’t think I’m suicidal either?

The thing is a good way to evaluate suicide ideation is whether you have a plan. And I do have a plan. Except it’s my old plan from last time I really felt suicidal and I can’t just unlearn it. (do note it’s an ‘evolved’ version of past attempts and I’m pretty sure it’s fool proof so I’m not posting it on the internet for someone else to feel inspired. It’s supposed to kill me, not other people.)

Another one basically is “are you plagued by suicidal thoughts?”. I’ll admit it’s a recurring thing but again, it’s not as bad as previous times.

The actual thing I want is to be dying, I think. For one, I would die but not in a way I could be held responsible for. Not my fault for being sick, right?

Two, it would be a tangible kind of pain, the kind that people can’t deny because “it’s all in my head”, the kind that crystallizes all my problems. It’s super awful to wish for cancer knowing full well how bad it is and how lives it wrecks daily, but a tumour would fit that bill perfectly.

What would work most of all is an expiry date. I could cash out my savings and have a good time with no pressure of being a reasonable adult. Not that I’m dreaming of anything crazy. The current bucket list involves travelling (NZ and Egypt being top of the list), seeing my family (they are all over the place, I can’t drive, it’s always a hassle to visit them), and spending as much time by the sea as I can (I’ll take the cat too, wonder if he’ll enjoy or hate the sand?).

Sounds like nice reasons to live? I find it fucking depressing that I have to suffer year round for a few weeks of respite here and there. I’m off work on sick leave with no wages or social security complement (because I’ve maxed out on it??) so often that I barely get days off and obviously I can hardly afford to live without tapping into my savings which is a stressful business (and so I get worse and I have to go on sick leave and it gets worse and so on, and I’d like to sue the government for its social security policy that makes no sense).

D’ailleurs on en parle de l’expression “gagner sa vie” ? Y a rien à gagner, c’est ma vie, j’en fais ce que je veux (y compris y mettre un terme) et j’ai pas à vendre mes services pour juste exister. A mort le capitalisme.

With an estimation of when I’ll kick the proverbial bucket, I could plan and budget the aforementioned list. Because I’m a control freak and what I really can’t bear is not knowing stuff and inconsistency.

Now, I know what my shrink would say. Something along the lines of “you can’t have the good stuff without the bad stuff” and “idealising a life outside the system can only lead to disappointment”. Well, he wouldn’t say it because he’s not really helpful these days, so if anyone’s got a psychotherapist recommendation in Paris, I’m interested.

And see, all I do is try to get better. I take the meds (a ridiculous amount of them), I go to therapy, even support groups for families of alcoholics because I’m that thorough, I don’t exercise much but I do physical therapy twice a week and eat better (~ish, I cook a lot and cut down sugar and butter in cake recipes, so I consider it healthy), and speaking of cooking, I do loads of hobbies instead of vegetating in front of the TV or doom scrolling on tumblr dot com and other social media websites.

I physically cannot do more, I’m using all the tools available to me, following all the advice I can follow. It is less and less worth it, regardless of how comfortable my life is. I’m not settling for meh. I am losing my patience so if cancer or whatever terminal disease won’t happen, I will end up taking the matter in my own hands, if only because up to 60% of bipolar patients attempt suicide once (with around 15% resulting in death) and 35% of patients will die of suicide on their third attempt (I’ve actually survived my third attempt, and again my life has been too meh ever since to justify not trying again at some point).

So yeah, I’m taking the passive approach to suicide at the moment, it’s not good but I’m forcing myself to go back to work for money reasons, and also omitting some of the stuff I’ve written here to my psychiatrist so he won’t send my ass back to hospital. I hate everything.

#I needed to scream at the void #it's an extra long and depressing one

[myfitnessblog0086]

Trust me that diet was something that I was working on for a long time. In 2018 I received my first crock pot. I started to revolutionize my diet with that. Soups, soups, soups. As well as Crock-Pot pasta.

Eventually that Crock-Pot pasta started to turn from enriched noodles, to whole grain noodles in 2019. It also became increasingly difficult to find supplies for pasta. The shelves were quite beer and void of any pasta materials and some stores were restricting the sale of items.

Then for a little while there I started to steam everything. I would have myself some white rice and curry. I cut up fresh potatoes and carrots and onions. I would have sweetened steamed carrots.

I was still ordering as much pizza as I could in a month. I would sit there and I would eat an entire Pizza in one night. Sometimes I would eat too much for my stomach to hold. I would go to the bathroom to let it out, and then come back for a refill.

I had just started Fitness Boxing in 2019, and I was getting tired out very easily. Sometimes I couldn't even make it through the whole set. Still I kept at it and by November 2020, one year later I saw an improvement. I had already graduated from 4XL Tees to 2XL.

At this point I had still not cut out pizza from my diet. I was eating normal food, steaming what I could. My plastic steamers broke because I was putting frozen food in there. I steaming the frozen food and not realizing what it would do to the plastic steamers.

Because of the steamers I was eating more rice, and switching to more traditional Chinese cooking. I learned how to make my own fried rice, Deluxe Ramen, Pho, etc.

My diet was better but it was also higher in salt and fat. Not so much protein. I was having some frozen fruit smoothies but not quite a lot.

In late 2021 I joined Noom. Normally I didn't always have enough money for food, and a lot of the times my food budget came out of my own money. Or my food came from a food pantry. However pretty much since the pandemic started I had been paying for the entire food budget out of my own money.

If you don't know what a food pantry is, it is food that's donated to help people that can't afford food. Some pantries are different. Some hand you a bag of non-perishable goods and just send you on your way. (I already had gout and diabetes at this time, so this was my least favorite option as I could not control what was given in the bag to me. Most of the things I had to get rid of because I couldn't eat them.) Some have a whole stockpile of frozen food. And we have such a large pantry here. Many local businesses supply food that's about to expire to this pantry. There's lots of money drives that go towards supporting this pantry. Feeding America provides food for this pantry. Even the local sports team donates money. More people go to this pantry than the others because it is considered to be better.

Now I volunteered there many times as many people who receive its food do. They received food that's no longer able to be sold. That's got about 30 days left before the expiration date. Once they get that food they immediately freeze it. And they have a timetable when the food came in, and when they want to put it into the rotation. So sometimes you end up getting expired food.

Getting inspired food at a pantry is rather commonplace. They don't want to take the goods if they're expired. But they will give out the goods if they're expired. Again it depends on the pantry. The pantry that I was talking about above has a disclaimer every time that you get disclaimer on the other side that says "by taking the food you acknowledge that the food may or may not be expired and that you're willing to take it freely."

I don't eat there anymore because sometimes their food makes me end up feeling sick. They have very long lines and sometimes you end up taking food from the bottom of the barrel. Sandwiches that have wilted, deli meat that's slimy. Nothing a little cooking on the George Foreman grill wouldn't cure, but.. that only fixes the taste.. doesn't fix the fact that you'll feel sick after eating it.

So during the 2020 pandemic, yes I had to visit some of the pantries but no I didn't go to that one. In fact I was able to put enough money aside during the pandemic that would prevent me from even going to a pantry. In 2021, I actually got some really awesome insurance that included a food benefit as well.

In 2022 the food benefit really helped me out a lot. It was $150 a month, and it was supposed to be used for fresh groceries. All I had to do was set aside an additional $150 a month of my own money. However, in late 2021 that's when inflation started to hit our town.

At the local discount grocery store eggs used to be 50 cents a dozen. They were in early December. Then they started to go up in price. At the discount grocery today they're still below average. The average price is $4 a dozen. That's because there has been an egg shortage. Not only eggs, but a chicken shortage as well due to a new strain of bird flu.

So I had a particular diet in early 2022. And unfortunately it included McDonald's, mostly because I was working there. 😂

We were forbidden to leave the premises for lunch at McDonald's. Working for McDonald's reminded me a lot of high school. You know I was over 30 years of age and I was asking to use the bathroom.

I also found it a little bit insulting that the managers refused to acknowledge the fact that I had a hearing disability. One in particular never believed it and always gave me crap about it. It didn't matter how much documentation I gave the boss. She refused to believe it and thought that I was playing games with her. She was very discriminatory of disabled people. Other than her, My overall experience with them was positive. I just didn't need to have that one particular manager going out of her way to cause so much trouble. She caused trouble for everyone and nobody liked working with her. They tolerated her because she would treat you differently based on her personal opinion of you. The typical Queen Bee personality, she would treat people that she liked better than the other people that she didn't. So if you were being treated like crap you offended her in some way and now you're going to pay for it for the rest of your time there.

Remember that these are my opinions based on my experiences and if you ever find yourself working at McDonald's your experience may differ from mine.

Back to the diet, McDonald's offered free meals if you were there at 5:00 in the morning, closing or overnight. Since my shift usually starts at 5:00 a.m. I quite often would enjoy the last of the breakfast as my shift came to a close. Sometimes I would save it and take home some food. At the bottom line was that every time that I worked I had a burger or something from there.

I recently watched the Super Size Me movie, (a documentary about McDonald's and a man who decided to eat McDonald's three meals a day for 30 days. Every meal as big as it possibly could be. Definitely supersized.) and I can only imagine how unfit I would have been had I continued down that path.

I was in the middle of the rocky challenge at that time, and there wasn't a lot of time to exercise. I was standing on my feet for 8 hours a day, and so when I got home after an 8 hour shift, I found myself sitting for most of the time. I was able to get myself up and make myself something to eat of course. Sometimes I would take a shortcut and bring home something from work so that I could have some lunch. Eventually my body adjusted to the work and switching to hydrogen water really helped.

After McDonald's I completed my Noom education and graduated from the program. Noom had me weighing in everyday, had me tracking my food everyday, had me drinking 64 oz of water everyday, and attempted to have me walking everyday. As I said before, the pedometer on Noom SUCKED, and I think they only had options to link with a Fitbit. Of course I didn't have a Fitbit at the time. I had my Amazon Halo.

So my fitness tracker was giving me a different amount for the steps that I took on a daily basis, and I just had to take a mental note that I was hitting my goal every day but noon wasn't recording it and it wasn't letting me manually record my steps.

I believe that I switched to Fooducate for a little while for a calorie counter. I was able to track my exercise and my steps manually as well with Google fit. I also left with a few new recipes from Noom.

Those recipes have been a part of my fitness path until just recently. My father was commenting that it was nice to see me eating fruits and vegetables for a change and that he would learn new things about new foods when he would go to the grocery store with me.

My fitness journey has changed since I started. Just like eventually how your exercises will evolve. When I started Fitness Boxing 1, as I said there were times and I couldn't even make it through an entire set.

Now I find myself getting through an entire set in Fitness Boxing 2, sitting down for 15 minutes, jumping rope, going through another set and then going for a walk afterwards. Trying to get in 250 steps a day.

Keep the faith, keep sweating! 💦

#low cal diet #diet and nutrition #fit #fitness #fitspiration #diet plan #mcdonald's #fitbit #amazon halo fitness tracker #noom

[theangelcollective]

nov 13th, 2022 // day 1

well, todays the day i start this. this is my completely personal, one hundred percent open and honest journal. it’s going to be where i reflect on my days, chronicle my journey in overcoming substance use problems, and just everything. this is the start.

the few rules im going to set for myself are:

1) no identifying pieces of info, purely anon

2) brutally, utterly honest about everything

3) consistency. every day. look at the reminder.

this is so you can hold yourself accountable. it’s been too easy to get away with slipping back. not anymore. this will hold you to it, and every time you lie and make your problems worse again, you can see where you did it. it’ll hurt to look at that a lot more than just a mental after thought.

so, today wasn’t great. roommates were awful, and i couldn’t get out of bed to cook anything until one. tried to get up to study and talk to my boyfriend, and i couldn’t. i crawled back into bed and cried, relentlessly. today was hard because last night i smoked way too much weed. i have a problem. i just don’t stop after i start. it sucks. it sucks. i hate it, its not fun like that. i want to get it back to something i can do all cozy with my partners when i finally see them. but it’s not that right now, and i need to change that. that’s like the prime concern right now, i guess other than parents.

so i told my dad that he’s the cause of my ptsd, and that despite that, i want to go to therapy to have a relationship with him. he sent me a thumbs up emoji back. we aren’t on talking terms. working that out in the middle of finals season at uni isn’t great either but that’s just kinda how things are right now. nothings great. shit sucks.

i did catch up with an old friend today, but i was pretty dissociated for most of it. again still coming down from yesterday, and some nicotine sickness. broke down and bought a little starter vape kit. been wanting to for forever, and im going to use it to help pacify weed cravings, and make those easier to ride out. dumb idea, but unfortunately i genuinely believe it’ll help. ive quit nicotine before and it was easy, this weed shit is hard.

that’s day one. im going to keep doing this every day, but won’t share it with anyone. if you stumble upon this on your tumblr journey, then hi, i hope you’re well and i hope that maybe this inspires you to try to better yourself, and maybe you’ll be here to help hold me accountable.

goodnight, everyone. sleep safe <3

[tenshindon]

man i love yamcha so much what the fuck

#snap chats #i make this post literally every other day but its just cause i like to talk about yamcha <3 #anyway like. i didnt even have a thought in particular #i just looked over at my yamcha statue and i was like 'wow :) wow <3' #hes just so cool guys :) he's such a lovely lad #just a real down-to-earth guy #would love to make a sadnwich with him #like a breakfast sandwich i love those very much :) #ive been watching this guy lately who just cooks a bunch of food #and he likes to make better versions of desserts and fast food items #its pretty sick it gets me inspired to cook #i dont ever cook anythin tho i never have the ingredients </3 #i refuse to rdelate those tags :) #back on topic tho uhh yamcha :) #very good :) #i thought i typed 'uncle yamcha' instead of uhh #and i mean thats very good too :)) love uncle yamcha so much #oh on topic you guys know that cute lil comic of yamcha giving gohan a haircut for highschool? #i always wondered who the artist of that was and i just found out recently it was one of my faves lmao #no wonder i love that comic so much #ok im done yamcha posting im gonna go back to drawing yamcha :) bye guys <3

[navybrat817]

A Proper Welcome

Pairing: Mechanic Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader x Carpenter Alpha!Hal Carter Summary: You want to be more than your secondary gender, even with your heat around the corner. Lucky for you, Bucky and Hal are understanding alphas. Word Count: Almost 4k Warnings: Talk of explicit sexual content, a/b/o dynamics, stubborn reader (is that a warning?), Alpha!Bucky and Alpha!Hal (they are warnings, okay?), future smut.

A/N: This is a continuation of The Start of Something New, lovelies! I adore a/b/o and I'm excited to share this particular reader and relationship as it unfolds. @book-dragon-13​ , thank you for continuing to be an inspiration for this AU. Beta read by the amazing @christywantspizza​ , but any and all mistakes are my own. Thank you, lovely! Moodboard created by yours truly. Divider by the beautiful @firefly-graphics​ and banners by the lovely @its-just-may​ . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog​ for new fics and updates and reblog or comment if you feel inclined. Thank you for reading!

“I can’t stand being an omega,” you thought when your alarm went off. Moaning, the images of your recent dream filled your mind. You didn’t need to open your eyes to feel how drenched your sheets were. Why couldn’t you control your slick in your sleep?

Warm, strong hands gripped your waist as your soaked hole took in Bucky’s cock. “Gonna look so pretty on my knot, omega.”

A pair of lips pressed to yours eagerly, covering up your obscene moan. “Desperate for it already?” Hal asked, biting your bottom lip. “Don’t worry. You’ll get both of us.”

It wasn’t the first time you dreamt of your handsome, kind neighbors. In fact, you dreamt of them almost every night since you met. And your nighttime fantasies seemed to be getting stronger with each day that passed. It was easy to blame it on your upcoming heat, but something about Bucky and Hal called to you.

Nope. Don't think like that.

At first, you thought they were nice because you were an omega living on your own, but they admired your independence. Or at least what you called being independent. They knew you wanted to prove to your family that you were more than your biology. Your parents were already worried enough, but you reminded them that you lived in a nice neighborhood, and you had your protective collars. No alpha was going to make you submit without your consent.

That would be your choice when and if it happened.

Being semi-independent didn’t stop Hal from bringing you your favorite breakfast now and then. “Just thought you might be hungry and now you don’t have to cook.”

And you couldn’t refuse Bucky’s help when your car refused to start last week. “We’re neighbors and neighbors help each other.”

It also didn’t help that you spent some of your free time with them. So much for being semi-independent. Hal loved showing you his latest projects, like the crib he made for a couple down the street, when he wasn’t trying to convince you to dance with him. Bucky surprised you with his interest in science, his shelves lined with books, and old films. And both gave solid tips for maintaining your garden.

Your alphas were slowly working their way into your life… and heart.

Get it together.

You sat up and pushed the thought from your mind. They weren’t your alphas. They were simply alphas who happened to look out for you, even while they drove you crazy. Hal had no right to look so charming whenever you saw him carry a stack of wood through his yard. And how did Bucky manage to look both brooding and sweet when he worked on his bike?

You felt a little lightheaded as you made your way to the shower. Even though the water was cool, your skin felt warm to the touch. It worried you a bit since you didn’t feel sick. Was your heat coming early? You were meticulous when it came to tracking and planning and already knew it was too soon, if that was the case.

I could ask them to help me.

You dried off and quickly picked out an outfit. You never asked an alpha to help you through a heat before. If it came down to it and you wanted their company, you were certain they would accept your offer. You didn’t see them bring anyone over to their homes. Not that you paid attention to who they dated because they weren’t your alphas. You weren’t their omega.

I have toys. I don’t need them.

Picking out your collar, you carefully put it around your neck and locked it into place. The stylish “accessory” was a blessing to omegas. It covered where alphas could mark you and they couldn’t just rip it since only the wearer’s specific fingerprint and pattern to the back sensor released it.

Looking at your reflection, the collar almost felt itchy, a bit too tight. It never bothered you before. You ignored that feeling as you pulled the sheets from your bed and tossed them into the hamper. Thankfully, you had plenty of spare linens. You almost wanted to tease your neighbors that you should start charging them for extra laundry, but then you’d have to admit that they were on your mind.

It hit you in the chest as you fluffed the pillows how empty your bed looked. The only scent there was yours. You had to admit that it was a lonely feeling. You could even hear your mother's voice in your mind: What if another alpha breaks in and finds an unmated omega?

You could swallow your pride and ask for shirts. It would leave enough of their scents there and, hopefully, scare off anyone who sniffed around. It would appease your mom if she asked and it would help you in general. Neighbors help each other.

As if on cue, the very alphas you both wanted to see and avoid were on the sidewalk when you stepped outside a few minutes later. They stood close together as you silently observed them. Hal gestured with his hand as he told Bucky something, who merely nodded in response as he sipped his coffee. Their scents drifted to you and almost knocked you off your feet.

Damn secondary gender and body chemistry. You were more than that. You didn’t need to simper over these men! But why did they have to be so handsome? Hal’s flannel shirt looked so warm and cozy and Bucky’s Henley looked comfortable enough to sleep in.

Perfect for your nest.

Oh, fuck.

“Howdy, neighbor!” Hal called out cheerfully as you stepped off your porch, snapping you out of your thoughts. His smile lit up his entire face and you couldn’t help but smile back. It was tough not to feel a little cheerful around the bright alpha. It was a good contrast to Bucky’s tall, broad and commanding presence. “We still on for dinner tonight?

“Morning. And yeah, if you guys still want to.”

“You kidding?” Hal smiled, rubbing his stomach. You had, on more than one occasion, seen the washboard abs under his shirt since he had a tendency to go topless every chance he had. “Been looking forward to it all week.”

“It’s just pasta and garlic bread. Nothing to get excited about,” you said politely.

Hal closed his eyes and moaned, the sound making you shiver. “Now I’m really looking forward to it.”

“Think I’m still full from the last dish you made us,” Bucky said with a soft smile, tucking some of his hair behind his ear with his metal hand.

Do not preen or purr. “I’ll make sure there’s plenty for you both to take home.”

“You spoil us,” Hal winked, almost making you whimper. His brow furrowed as he took a step back. “You feeling okay?”

Just need to change my panties again because I can’t control myself. “Yeah, I feel fine,” you brushed off.

Bucky’s sharp blue eyes narrowed as he also took a step back. Can they smell me? Instead of smothering you like some alphas, they were giving you room to breathe. “Are you sure you don’t want to reschedule? We don’t mind.”

“I’m sure," you smiled, shifting a bit. "But could I ask you both a favor?"

"Anything," Hal swore.

"Can I borrow a shirt from each of you?"

The alphas blinked in shock, exchanging a pensive look. "You… want our shirts, doll?" Bucky questioned.

"Yeah. I didn't want to ask, but I can’t get my mom’s voice out of my head about needing an alpha’s scent nearby and I have no family or pack here and my scent is the only one in my bedroom and…” you took a deep breath, knowing how vulnerable you looked and sounded. “Look, it's a lot for me to ask. Please?"

Instead of answering your question, Hal began to unbutton his shirt. “Oh, you don’t have to now,” you told him, avoiding his gaze as he slipped it off and handed it over. Don't drool over his abs.

“We don’t mind,” Bucky promised, handing Hal his coffee so he could tug his shirt over his head. God, don't drool over his body. He gently placed it in your other hand, their scents hitting you again. You wanted to bury your face in them.

“And… we know it wasn’t easy for you to ask,” Hal added.

“Thank you,” you whispered, clearing your throat. “Um… see you both tonight?” you asked, not waiting for either of them to answer as you went to your car. You held your head high and kept your breathing even as you got in, setting the shirts on the seat beside you. Both men were still looking at you when you glanced in the rearview mirror, worried expressions on their faces. You didn’t need them to worry. You were fine.

Everything was fine.

Everything was not fine. You knew the signs of your upcoming heat: your warm skin, the slight cramps, the dizzy spells, and how much your scent glands and cunt ached. It wasn’t there quite yet, thanks to your slow acting suppressants. Your doctor reminded you that heats were something you couldn’t ignore, but your meds helped space them out and slow them down.

The only explanation for why it would come early had to be Hal and Bucky because no other alphas triggered anything.

You busied yourself with cooking, the scent of the pasta sauce and garlic bread providing a brief distraction. It kept you from going to your bed and rolling around in the shirts you tucked by your pillows. The combination of the oak, bonfire and-

You jumped as your phone rang, setting the last dish out before you grabbed the device. It was your coworker, Nancy, a nice beta and recent friend. "Hello?" you answered.

"Hey. You changed your schedule," she said. Right to the point. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. My heat is just coming a bit early. I must have timed it wrong," you replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm glad you got your days switched. Wait, didn’t you say your neighbors were having dinner with you?

“Yep. They should be here shortly,” you said, double checking the time.

“Is that a good idea?”

“It’s fine. Why wouldn’t it be?” you asked.

“...Are you going to make me say it?” Nancy questioned, making your jaw clench. “Look, I know you feel this need to… prove yourself, but please. Don’t put yourself in a tough situation.”

You gripped the phone as a rush of anger flowed through your veins. This was the last thing you needed. And Hal and Bucky weren’t bad alphas. They wouldn’t try anything without you giving very clear signs. “Don’t put myself in a tough situation? Oh, right. Because if an alpha gets a whiff, it’s MY fault, right? God forbid they show any sense of control.”

“No! That’s not what I meant,” she swore, her voice calm and even. It didn’t appease you. “I know you said they’re good guys and-”

“They ARE,” you hissed. “They’re good men and good alphas. If I tell them to walk away, they will. And if I ask them to stay, that’s my decision. I trust them and THAT is what matters.”

You were met with silence for a moment and you wondered if she hung up. “I know it is and I only wanted to help. I’m sorry.”

You closed your eyes, reigning in your claws. Nancy was only looking out for you and you understood why. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just on edge. Will it make you feel better if I check in with you?”

You heard the sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. “It would.”

“Okay. I’ll text you when my mind isn’t in a complete haze.”

“I appreciate it. Take care.”

“You, too. And… thanks,” you said, hanging up. You had just a few minutes to freshen up. And you would have to remember to message Nancy. You were shocked your parents hadn’t reached out.

Maybe they were starting to back off.

You smiled as the doorbell rang, making sure all the food was at the table. Right on time. A small cramp hit you as you walked to the door, making you stop momentarily. It’s fine. You could eat and send them home. You deserved a decent meal before you were stuck with protein bars and water.

“Hi,” you said breathlessly as you opened the door. Hal wore a button down shirt similar to the one he gave you earlier, but his normally messy brown hair was combed. And Bucky had his dark, soft hair pulled back in a low ponytail. Did they dress up for you?

“Hi,” Hal smiled back, holding up a box in his hands. The red and blue wrapping paper somehow reminded you of the two of them. Different, but beautiful when put together. “Very late, but we got you a housewarming present.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you said as you let them in, touched that they even considered getting you anything.

“We wanted to,” Bucky said, handing over the bottle of red wine. His nostrils flared as he inhaled and exhaled. Fuck, does he smell me? “Dinner smells delicious.”

“Thanks,” you sighed, leading them to the dining room and placing the bottle on the table. “I hope you’re both hungry.”

“Starving,” Hal smiled as he followed, carefully setting the box down in an empty spot. “Work okay today?”

“Boring,” you answered honestly, giving Bucky a small smile as he pulled your chair out for you. “Such a gentleman.”

“What can I say? My mom raised me well,” Bucky smiled before he took the seat across from Hal.

“I’d like to think my mama raised me well, too,” Hal smiled.

“Ahh. So I have a couple of mama’s boys on my hands?” you teased as you took the bowl of pasta, scooping some onto your plate before passing it on. “I should’ve known.”

“Your mama would love us. All I’m saying,” Hal winked before a breeze rolled in. “You want your window open?”

“Yeah. Just felt a little hot earlier. Still am a bit,” you smiled, which was true. You did feel hot.

Bucky’s gaze flickered to Hal as he opened the wine bottle. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I may turn in early tonight. Like I said, work was boring, but it was a long day,” you said, biting your lip. Don’t lie to your alphas.

“Well, we won’t stay late, but I would like it if you opened your gift after dinner,” Hal said.

“Of course,” you smiled. You just had to make it through dinner. It would be easy… right?

“Wait,” you giggled, finishing your glass of wine. “You’re telling me the two of you became friends because of a bar fight? And NOT because you lived close by? How did I not know this until now?”

“It’s true,” Hal laughed, taking the last bite from his plate. “Tall, dark and mysterious here hardly said a word when he moved here. I waved and he grunted in response."

"Grumpy alpha," you joked.

"The grumpiest," Hal winked as Bucky glared at him. "But we were both at the same bar sometime after Buck settled in and these assholes wouldn’t leave him alone. I had to step in.”

“Why were they bothering you?” you asked curiously, pushing your glass away. One was enough. You needed to keep your head as clear as you could.

“My, um… my arm,” Bucky told you, holding up his metal hand.

“I’m so sorry,” you said genuinely, wishing you could comfort him. And wishing you could find those alphas and put them in their place. The metal arm didn't take away from him. If anything, it made you proud that he survived whatever happened.

Will he tell me one day what he went through?

“Not your fault, doll,” Bucky whispered, looking at his friend. “I could have handled it myself,” he added, but there was a smile on his face.

“Oh, I know you could’ve, but shouldn’t have to. I know a thing or two about alphas who drink too much and they had no right messing with you.”

The comment made your comforting instinct come out again. Alphas who drank too much? It wasn't the time to ask. “Who won the fight?”

“We did,” Hal smirked. Bucky smirked, too. “The owner threw us out so it didn’t look like he was showing favoritism, but he bought us a round the next time we went back.”

“And you two have been friends ever since,” you smiled. You appreciated that.

“We have been. The way he acted, it reminded me of my friend, Steve,” Bucky said, grabbing another piece of garlic bread. You heard the name a few times and wondered when the blonde alpha would visit.

“And Buck actually helped me out when my hours got cut at work. I don’t believe in handouts and promised to pay him back,” Hal told you.

“And you did once you went into business for yourself,” Bucky reminded him.

“Haven’t looked back since,” Hal smiled.

Your chest tightened as you listened. The times you hung out with them, you knew the alphas were friends. But hearing how they looked out for and respected each other was something else.

“Kitten?” Hal asked, making you blink.

“Kitten?” you repeated, wondering why he was smirking at you.

“You, um…” Bucky tapped his chest. “You’re purring.”

Your eyes went wide as you felt the vibrations. Fuck, you were purring. Now I can add that to my list of embarrassing moments. “Can we just… forget that I did that?”

“Oh, I don’t think we can forget that… kitten,” Bucky said, trying not to smile.

“Bucky,” you warned in a low voice.

“Aww, did we make our kitty purr?” Hal teased, leaning back in his seat before you could smack his arm.

“I’m a fucking tigress and don’t you forget that,” you said as sternly as you could.

“Okay, tigress,” Hal chuckled, leaning over to get your present as Bucky moved your plate out of the way. “Use your claws to open this.”

You glared as Bucky chuckled, too, but you smiled after a moment. It felt good being the center of their attention, as much as you wanted to deny it. Both of them watched expectantly as Hal set the gift in front of you. Removing the wrapping paper, you gasped as you saw what they brought you: a beautiful, hand carved jewelry box. “This…”

“You like it?” Hal asked hopefully. “We thought you'd like it, but if you don’t, I can make you another.”

“You made this?” you asked, tears in your throat. Of course, he did. He was always doing something with his hands. “Hal, I…”

“Open the lid,” he encouraged.

“I hope it’s okay,” Bucky said as you lifted the lid, seeing a brand new leather collar inside. You picked it up and turned it over in your hand, the sensor waiting to be activated by you. “We just… we like spending time with you and wanted to do something nice.”

You put the collar back and closed the box, sniffling. Alphas didn’t give gifts lightly. And the fact that they were so thoughtful meant everything to you. “I don’t deserve this,” you whispered before a painful cramp hit you. “Fuck…”

Bucky and Hal both inhaled sharply. “Damn it, doll. I knew your scent was off,” the larger alpha said as you tried to stand.

*You’re going into heat, aren’t you?” Hal added, getting up from his chair. “That's why you wanted our shirts."

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Bucky pressed.

“I thought I could get through dinner,” you said through your teeth as the pain subsided, walking around the table to leave the room. “And because I wanted an evening that wasn’t dictated by my body.”

“The other times we’ve hung out haven’t been dictated by your body,” Hal pointed out, gently taking your arm as your knees began to buckle. “But you aren’t going to be in control much longer, so talk to us. Is your nest ready?”

You whimpered, somehow holding back from nuzzling against him. “Yeah.”

“Good girl,” he said, your heart racing at the praise. “You have snacks? Drinks?”

“Yeah,” you said again as Bucky appeared on your other side, also taking your arm. Fuck, they smell good. So, so good.

“That’s a good omega,” Bucky praised. You didn’t want it to stop. “Is there anything else you need? Just tell us and we’ll get it. We’ll lock up when we leave.”

“You,” you said dreamily before you could stop yourself, tiling your head back. “I need you both.”

The growl Bucky let out was borderline ferocious, the sound producing a wave of slick. “You can’t just say things like that.”

“And why can’t I?” you challenged as they helped you down the hall. “My home so I make the rules.”

“Because if you say things like that, we want you to mean it,” Hal said, his voice rougher than usual. “We like you and we’re not about to take advantage of you.”

“You’re not taking advantage of me. I’m asking you two to help me,” you argued, growling at them. The sound was nothing compared to theirs, but the feeling of rejection hurt. “You think I would just ask any alpha who walks in the door to take care of me?”

“Would you have asked if we weren’t here?” Bucky retorted as you got to your bedroom door.

“Yes!” you whined, wanting to tear your clothes from your body and theirs. Good alphas. They’re giving me a choice. That’s why they’re mine. “I asked for your shirts. They’re the only other scents in my room. I want YOU, alphas.”

Bucky closed his eyes, as if to keep himself calm. “We want you, too. You have no fucking idea how badly.”

"Because I'm an omega?" you asked, your defenses trying to fight before you submitted. You were giving in to your instincts, but you had to know it was more to them.

"Because you're you," Bucky corrected you, opening his eyes. The words were a soothing balm to the insecurities you tried, and failed, to ignore. "Ever since you moved in, we just wanted you and to know you. Omega or not."

Your inner omega fought to get free and present. “Then show me,” you begged, pressing against him to get more of his scent. Your nipples felt hard and sensitive against your top. “It doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Everything will change, baby. Things changed the moment you walked into our lives,” Hal whispered, his mouth close to your ear as you purred. He let out a quiet growl in response. You wanted to hear it while he was buried deep inside you. “Have you considered that?”

“I know things will change and… fuck, we’ll talk later. Please,” you said through the fog, knowing you’d have to face reality after. “Not taking my collar off,” you said quickly when Bucky’s finger ran along it, doing your best not to panic.

“Wouldn’t ask you to, doll,” Bucky said with a soothing rumble, his eyes dark as he regarded you. “We know you’re not ready for that.”

“But if you’re not absolutely sure you want us here… say so and we’ll leave right now,” Hal said, his hands grazing your hips.

“You’re in charge, omega,” Bucky whispered.

Hal and Bucky didn’t move as they waited for you to speak. They were giving you one last chance to change your mind. Your mouth felt dry as you attempted to form the words. “I’m in charge?”

“Yes,” they said in unison.

“Then fuck me like you need me.”

*****

Enojy Part 2, lovelies!

#navybrat writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #hal carter x reader #hal carter x you #bucky barnes x reader x hal carter #alpha!bucky barnes x reader #alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader #alpha!hal carter x reader #alpha!hal carter x omega!reader #mechanic alpha!bucky barnes #carpenter alpha!hal carter #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #hal carter imagine #hal carter fanfiction #bucky barnes x female reader #hal carter x female reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x female reader #sebastian stan x you

[ohmykazuha]

♡ 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞

♡ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: xiao, kaeya, diluc, thoma x gn!reader

♡ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: fluff + comfort <3

♡ 𝐚/𝐧: i love u all. mega hugs and mwahs for each of you! | like and reblog if you liked this!

XIAO.

- xiao is genuinely such a good roommate!

- he's responsible and cleans up after himself ><

- he also has this little duty roster to say who does what chores on what day XD he's very organised!

- i think xiao also cooks well >< yes. he pretty much eats almond tofu but he knows that you have to eat other things as well.

- the two of you study together at the dining table frequently! your table is a mess of cables and phones and pens and earphones but sigh. college students </3

- but...

- xiao. hates. mess. continuing from the previous hc, he would pack everything up really fast when you're done :"D

- i feel like he would be those types of people who get containers for literally anything. big batteries. small batteries. medicinal cream. plasters. kitchen utensils. literally everything

- oh, but you like it. >< it's such a wonderful sight to see him pack up like marie kondo XD

- there's so many things he just does for the dorm and you're super grateful to him for it hehe

- conclusion: clean freak. marie kondo. best college roommate <3

KAEYA.

- ooh kaeya. okay

- he's... messy, to say the least. he has a disorganised aesthetic, if that makes sense?

- cold winter nights mean that you get to see him in a turtleneck~

- he uses the excuse "but i'm cooooooold!" to hug you XD

- i think kaeya is genuinely a... clutter person. he's a hoarder bc he's sentimental? perhaps? he has lots of old trinkets lying around bc he can't bear to get rid of it.

- (its cute though)

- kaeya can cook.

- he can cook well. like pastas and soups and stews and stuff like that. he's awesome that way XD

- you'll see him doing the uh... he do the cooking but you do the cleaning <3

- he makes breakfast and dinner for the both of you! kaeya also makes sure you eat proper, regular meals – he doesn't want the two of you to be the stereotypical college student living off ramen

- yes. kaeya KNOWS how to get a good bargain at the market >:D

- conclusion: 10/10. best malewife. his food is AMAZING.

DILUC.

- diluc 🥺💕

- late night tea sessions with him. literally tea while you two talk about everything and anything

- like kaeya, winter season is turtleneck season <3

- cmon! you can't tell me that you can't imagine him being in a black turtleneck!

- anyways, i think he's pretty good at cooking! probably even better than kaeya XD he can make pasta and sandwiches and fish and chips and stuff like that •u•

- diluc likes to switch on the lamp next to the couch and read a book: a thread inspired by my neighbour <3

- so my neighbour has this beautiful lamp that she puts next to her couch, and at night its just this... cozy, warm place. i love it so so much

- and that's what i envision for your apartment!

- its just warm and cozy. the door is always open for anyone who needs shelter or someone to talk to, there's always a fresh plate of cookies

- conclusion: he's the besssst roommate <3 10/10 would recommend... maybe not. you want him all for yourself. XD

THOMA.

- ahhhh!!!!

- ahhhhh!!!!!! (2)

- thoma is genuinely such a malewife wonderful roommate

- he do the cooking he do the cleaning XD

- thoma is really organised! he's one of those people that stick labels on each thing so its all clear and neat >< he also cleans like.. you know the way of the househusband? tis him, but gentler!

- i mean. not that the mc of WOTH is not gentle LOL

- thoma is really good at keeping the house habitable!

- and good at taking care of you as well! he ensures regular meals and if you're sick, he'd boil chicken soup for you or something XD

- the two of you make dinners together frequently heh. one time he brought back an entire lobster LMAO

- but thats a story for another day

- he's such a good roommate pls come home c6..

- conclusion: I LOVE HIM. 10/10 an amazing roommate you'd definitely miss after college!!! <3

woooo its done!!! man that was long. like and reblog if you liked this please!!! lets try to get this past 100!

taglist: @bookuya, @mikachuchu, @starglitterz, @cherubbic, @noirkkat, @the-gayest-sky-kid, @ajaxeology, @icecappa, @almondoufu, @gnyuvile, @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst. @simplyxsinned, @heaven-dissolution, @xiaoyksa, @yua1106, @gnyuvrse, @mayple, @rim0na, @kamitoge, @abyssheart, @hushyouu, @thaliastea

#jiawrites #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin impact headcanons #genshin fanfic #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #xiao x gn reader #genshin impact writing #genshin writing #genshin impact fluff #genshin fluff #genshin hurt #genshin impact #genshin impact hurt #hurt and comfort #genshin diluc #diluc x reader #diluc fluff #diluc headcanons #genshin kaeya #kaeya x reader #kaeya fluff #kaeya headcanons #genshin thoma #thoma x reader #thoma fluff #thoma headcanons

[sitaarein]

Desi rep

okay so this is partly inspired because of a whole bunch of incredibly, incredibly dumb asks my friend has gotten but it is ALSO, more importantly, because I am sick of the shit I have seen so here, have a not very concise post about what to do and what to avoid if you are writing desi rep (this can also be applied outside of writing I guess??)

If you give a character an Indian name and call it a day, I will actually come and murder you. For starters, India has a whole CULTURE that you have very much decided to ignore and that. is. not. okay. If you can give your white characters all the attention and details and research in the world, you can do the same for your desi characters. Secondly, the word “desi” is used to describe so much more than simply Indian. Wanna know which countries qualify as desi? India, Nepal, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Bhutan, Sri Lanka, and the Maldives. Don’t you even dare assume desi=indian and leave it at that.    

This point ties into what I just said about desi people. Please, I am actually begging you, include more than Indian characters if you want to include south asia in your writing. I am Pakistani and I am so so sick of my identity being erased wherever I look. NOT that I have anything against India or Indians. It is simply the ignorance of people assuming the whole of South Asia is simply India that is supremely horrible to see

 This is based off of personal experience. People actually think that either a) India isn’t a part of Asia or b) there are no countries in South Asia aside from India or c) both of those incredibly ignorant views. And all I can say is: what. the. fuck. Do not do that. Indians are Asians. Pakistanis are Asians. Nepalis are Asians. Bengalis are Asians. Bhutanese are Asians. Sri Lankans are Asians. Maldivians are Asians. If you do not think so, then that is actually just racist of you. Don’t talk to me until you’ve looked at a map.

Another personal point that just.. hurts. Do you know what the Muslim population of the Indian subcontinent is? (The Indian subcontinent is made up of all the countries mentioned above) The answer is: around 600 million. Out of 1.7 billion people, 600 million of them are Muslims. Put into perspective, its not a lot. But the Muslims have a whole separate identity. A separate culture. The whole reason Pakistan even came into existence is because the Muslims of the subcontinent were so fundamentally different. So if you have a desi based country or continent, please, please take a moment to think about the different cultures. 

The above point, but apply it to Sikhs and Brahmins and the numerous identities I do not even know of. They’re all unique. Look them up. Don’t just call a stereotyped culture “Indian” and leave it there.

Speaking of culture: Just. Do your bloody research. Each of the countries in the Indian subcontinent have different national languages, and then INSIDE the country there are multiple dialects based on areas and tribes. Going to take Pakistan as an example: Our national language is Urdu, but the language most commonly spoken by far is Punjabi. So the average Pakistani you meet is almost definitely bilingual, and if they have had an english education, they are almost definitely trilingual. Same goes for all the other countries, I’m sure

Speaking of culture, part 2: there is literally too much to talk about for me to cover it all in one post, so I’m just gonna say: all desi countries are very different to each other, and inside the countries the various provinces are incredibly different. In addition to the changes in language, you’ll also get different staple dishes (even though most the food of the Indian subcontinent are the same in every country, you get some kind of twist that is always uniquely of that country or region or province’s), different folk tales, different poetry and literature, different icons and heroes- the list goes on. So, once more: Do your research.   

I mentioned food briefly in the point above which reminded me of something else: I resent the fact that food that is pretty much native to the whole subcontinent is simply called... Indian. Once again, this is absolutely NOT out of hate for India, it is because that is such a generalization.  Its because by calling it Indian you are effectively dismissing 5 other countries who eat and cook the same food because it belongs to them just as much as it does to the Indians. If you want a general name, call it desi food. 

this point is... less serious than the others, its just something I find fun and could use more of in media. Desi people are obsessed with sports. Like, obsessed. Some of us pretty much breathe cricket. I just think its an interesting fact and pretty much a part of culture at this point, so I’d like to see the stereotypical desi uncle who wouldn’t miss a match for the life of him every once in a while

Back to seriousness. If you even bloody imply that your desi character is violent, I will duct tape you to a chair and make you watch dramatic pakistani dramas on repeat (it won’t be fun, trust me). I have had it with South Asia being portrayed as a terrorist hub. Do not even think of conforming to such a stereotype. I will literally hunt you down and make sure you never, ever even think of doing so ever again. 

Also: If you bloody dare imply that we are, in any way, backward, I will once more carry out the above punishments. Stop. Just stop.

Oh man, talk about the history of the Indian subcontinent. Talk about the heritage. Have you like... seen the architecture????? There’s more than just the Taj Mahal here my dudes. Forget all the “dangerous countries” bullshit. Focus on the brilliance of, well, everything, instead. 

Oh oh speaking of: Have you guys heard of mohenjo daro?? Look it up. There’s some fantasy/mystery potential there. Use it for whatever, it would make my day

Time to talk about geography. So first off: Mountains. So many amazing mountains. Both Everest and K-2 (the tallest and second tallest) are located here. The Himalayas are located here. Pretty amazing, eh? Second off: Deserts. Do you know how many mineral riches are hidden in those? Its amazing. Third off: Rivers. Oh man the rivers. Did you know the Indus river is full of blind dolphins native to the Indus river only? Did you know they’re very very endangered? Find some funds for them while you’re looking up info about them, btw. Also another sea animal native to South Asia which has pretty much been driven out of Pakistan and Myanmar: the gharial. look them up too, seriously. That would be great. Fourth off: The plains. Do you have any idea how fertile our soil is? Because. Its insane. And there’s so much more about the geography and topography of the Indian subcontinent, guys. Look it all up. I’m so sick of vague desert land descriptions for the Indian subcontinent.

Religion. Now this overlaps with culture a lot, since quite a few people choose to define their religion as their culture, but we’re still touching upon it. This is pretty vague, but there are definitely at least over seven. Each comes with its entirely unique practices. Do not even try having a desi character who is Sikh but knows nothing about Sikhism, or Muslim but knows nothing about Islam, because even if they aren’t practicing, they grow up learning about whatever religion their family practices, most of the time. 

If you’re desi, feel free to add on whatever you think is relevant here. If you’re not, shut the fuck up. This is not about you, and it will never be. Feel free to reblog, but kindly keep your comments or opinions to yourself if they are not in agreement with all the above points or promises to be less ignorant.

My inbox is open if you have any questions. Desi people let me know if I said something wrong or offensive and I promise I’ll do my best to correct it

#this whole thing took me. a whopping three hours #god damn #anyways y'all better fucking read the whole thing because I have been PISSED for some time and today just. was the final straw #also sb pls #zuha's [un]original bakwaas #important #desi shit and whatnot

[tomtenadia]

Fire in her veins - a Island Dreams AU oneshot

So, yesterday Island Dream reached the amazing milestone of 5k hits on AO3. For me, it means the world especially because ID has a special place in my heart. It was my first long Rowaelin, set in a place that I adore. It’s more than just a story. It’s set in a part of Scotland that has completely stolen my heart.

So, to celebrate I asked for prompts and @whimsicallyreading​ gave me a brilliant one.

“Aelin accidentally distracts Rowan and their stove catches on fire 🥰 would be funny to see the ID crew interact with a Fire Department 🤣”

inspiration hit in an instant. This fic is set about three years after the epilogue. The twins are 7 and Dalamar is 4. The  story has a very Freyja-centred ending, mostly because she is my favourite. She is wild and fierce like her mother and she is funny.  (Don’t get me wrong I adore Morrigan and Dalamar too. They are calmer and adorable in their own way.)

If you are new to Island Dream you can find it HERE

Well, without much further ado I will leave you to the story.

Rowan had a busy day at work. The bookshop had become very popular in town and business was good especially since Aelin had convinced him a while before to set up an internet page and an online ordering system. It had taken a while to really kick in but now he was basically serving the whole of the Hebrides and he had started getting orders as well from some remote location on the western highlands. Aelin had been right. She was the one who had started his Facebook page after all. He hated the whole thing - he had even deleted the profile he had created for fun, but he could not deny that it was handy for business. He had started promoting his events, he had hosted some indie authors and also had started a reading club at the weekend. He was proud of the job he had done. And now, with his aunt he was working on another stage. Her cafe had been shut for a few months after the last bad storm and flooding had caused some heavy damage. So when the bill for repairs had come Maeve knew it was too much and had decided to close to the dismay of the locals who loved her cakes and food. But Rowan had come up with a plan. The unit next to his shop had been vacant for a while so, he offered his aunt a deal. She could reopen her cafe inside his bookshop and they could merge the two units together. It had taken some convincing but in the end Maeve had accepted and the works had officially started. 

Life was busy but he had never been happier. The twins were seven and were in P2 and Rowan could not believe how quickly they were growing up. Freyja was still as wild and school had been a challenge. She hated being forced to sit at a desk. Hated the uniform. Hated school, but apart from her rebel attitude, the teachers kept telling them that she was a bright pupil and both Rowan and Aelin relaxed. Morrigan, on the other hand was the opposite of her twin. She adored school and was still the quiet one in the family. Dalamar was still at nursery and was meant to start school the following year. 

On that day Evalin had picked up the kids and brought them to the shop, something they adored. Then Rowan had taken them to swimming practice. He had kept his part time job as swimming instructor and the kids had followed in his footsteps. The twins being older were taking proper swimming classes while Dalamar just joined the club for the wee ones and splashed happily in the water while his sisters learnt to swim. When Aelin was not busy at the hospital she would accompany them and play with Dalamar. 

Usually the swimming classes were enough to exhaust his kids that he could cook in peace while waiting for Aelin to get back. That evening she had texted him that they had a last minute emergency and was running late. 

He tried for the umpteenth time to concentrate on a recipe for the evening when Freyja barged in the kitchen running followed by her brother and screaming that a dragon was chasing her. 

Rowan grabbed his daughter and lifted her in his arms burying his face in her belly causing the girl to laugh hard “dad, the dragon” and wiggled in her father’s arms to get free but Rowan did not let go. He just walked to Dalamar and offered him his free arm “hop on, oh mighty dragon.” The boy grabbed his father’s forearm swinging like a monkey and Rowan walked into the living room, his daughter under one arms and his son swinging from the other like a jungle creature.

Morrigan joined the chaos a moment later. Rowan kneeled and she climbed on his back.

In that moment he heard the door of the house open and an instant later Aelin waltzed in the living room and saw her husband completely overwhelmed by their children. She laughed at the scene “what is happening in here?” Her hands on the hips.

“A dragon is following me.” Shouted Freyja, with still too much energy in her. 

“I am not a dragon, I am a monkey.” Replied Dalamar, swinging a bit more from Rowan’s arm.

“And what are you doing, Morrigan?”

“The dragon has burned the floor.”

Rowan moved to the sofa and started to deposit the kids down “come on, let dad cook dinner. And don’t shout too much, mum is tired.”

The kids slowly climbed down their father and went to greet Aelin who hugged them all “did you all had a nice day? Did you go swimming tonight?”

“Yes.” The two girls shouted “Dad taught us how to jump in head first.”

Rowan roared with laughter “and they still are two clumsy little terrors who smash their bellies.”

“Be careful with that.” Said Aelin in full doctor mode “that type of jump is very risky, they can snap their neck if do not enter correctly.”

Rowan took a step towards his wife and wrapped his arms around her “I know. I would never put our daughters in danger.”

“Good,” she gave him a chaste kiss “now let mum take a shower and dad cook?”

“Tha.” Replied the three kids in unison.

The kids climbed back on the carpet Dalamar going back to his bricks, Morrigan to her colouring book and Freyja just kept swinging her plastic sword fighting some imaginary monster. While Aelin disappeared in the bathroom, Rowan finally managed to get back to the kitchen and think about dinner. It was getting late for the kids and he knew they would soon start to become agitated again and start bellowing for food. He grabbed a towel and threw it on his shoulder and then started preparing the ingredients. He was preparing veggie burgers made out of cous cous and chickpeas. The kids loved them. He was the one who cooked the most in the house since his hours were far more reliable and he had been doing his best to cook healthy meals, to Aelin displeasure as she complained that there were always far to many vegetables in his dishes. But she was okay with the kids following a healthy diet. Morrigan was pescatarian. The girl could not stand eating meat and last time Rowan had tried to give her beef or chicken, the poor girl had been sick all night. Whereas fish, she loved it and she was a happy veggie eater like her father. Dalamar would occasionally eat meat but with very little enthusiasms whereas Freyja was just like her mother. She would eat anything on her plate.

He was busy preparing the patties when he felt Aelin’s hand around his waist and a gentle kiss on his back.

“How the shift at the hospital?” He asked while finishing the patties and heating up the oil in the pan.

“Long.” She sighed against his chest “your dear wife might need some adult cuddling tonight.”

Rowan laughed and turned in her arms, throwing his towel on the counter. A deep kiss that, after seven years of marriage still made her toes curl. Aelin’s hands linked behind his neck and Rowan pushed her against the island and Aelin moaned in appreciation.

Until all hell broke loose.

The smoke alarm pierced the quiet of the room with its grating sound and when Aelin opened her eyes again she saw a quickly spreading fire behind Rowan.

“Rowan!” She shouted.

He turned quickly and looked for something to stop the fire but he was paralysed and he knew enough that water was not an option.

Aelin was already on the phone with the emergency services while Rowan grabbed another towel and tried to smother the fire with the only result of burning his hand.

“Ro, fire department is on its way.” She took his hand “a bad first degree burn.”

He was about to go and put it under the sink but Aelin stopped him.

At the deafening sound, the kids burst in the kitchen but Aelin pushed them away, taking Rowan with her “Come on kids let’s go back to the carpet.”

Morrigan and Dalamar went in their mother arms scared by the commotion. Freyja was standing just near the sofa looking at the fire in the kitchen in a daze.

Rowan noticed her and grabbed his daughter in his arms, ignoring the searing pain in his hand “That is dangerous.”

“It’s pretty.” Said the little girl.

It wasn’t long after that the fire department arrived. 

A woman with blonde hair, who was clearly in charge gave some orders and the team had the fire out in no time.

“Is anyone hurt?” Asked her, joining the family in the living room.

“My husband. First degree burn on his hand.” Replied Aelin pointing at Rowan leaning against the back of the sofa.

The woman called over the radio for a paramedic and Rowan scoffed claiming that he did not need one but at Aelin glared at him and he shut up.

And while Morrigan and Dalamar were still on the carpet quite shaken by the ordeal, Freyja was moving toward the tall woman. She reached for the hem of her bunker gear and pulled, claiming attention.

“Hello little one.” Said the woman kneeling to be at eye level with the girl “There’s no more fire. We fixed it. You don’t have to be scared.”

Freyja pouted “I was not scared.”

The woman laughed and brushed her silver hair and the girl grinned.

“Are you a fire woman?” She asked, looking at the adult in front of her with deep admiration.

In that instant another woman and a man came through and gave her a report, the woman nodded and got back to the girl in front of her “Yes, I am.”

Freyja beamed “can I be a fire woman too?”

The fire captain placed her heavy hat on the girl’s head which was gigantic on her but Freyja shouted for her parents but Aelin was busy speaking to the man and her dad was in the capable hands of a paramedic who was tending to his hand.

“You can be anything you want to be.” Said the woman softly, taking her hat back then she stood and Freyja bent her head upwards to stare at the woman while she walked to her parents.

“There is some damage and you will have to replace the stove and probably paint the wall near it.” She explained “I would suggest to have a fire blanket and a small fire extinguisher for cooking oils. They can easily be found online and they are good to have in emergencies.”

“We will. Thank you so much.”

The woman nodded and left with her team, while the paramedic was finishing fixing up Rowan’s hand “Keep it clean and change the bandage regularly. There are ointments that you can use to help the healing process. If it gets worse make sure you go to the hospital.” Rowan looked at Aelin and grinned “thank you. My wife is an A&E doctor, I am sure she will keep me right.”

“That’s why she looks familiar. Western Isles hospital, isn’t it? You are Aelin.”

“Hi Sarah.”

 Once the house was quiet again Aelin relaxed for a moment and Rowan went to Morrigan and Dalamar while Freyja was still staring at the door where the fire department had left.

“What is it, my love?”

Freyja turned at her mother’s voice, her face beaming with unbridled joy. They were all shaken by the evening, but her fierce girl was actually smiling.

“That was a fire woman.”

“Yes, my darling.”

“I want to be a fire woman too.”

Aelin crouched down to meet her daughter’s eyes and brushed some hair off her face “you can be anything you want to be, mo chridhe.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Freyja hugged her mother then ran to her father, sister and brother shouting that she was going to be a fire woman.

Rowan joined Aelin a moment later and pulled her to his chest “I am sorry.”

“For what?”

“I got distracted.”

Aelin lightly punched him in the chest “I am the one who distracted you.”

He sighed “we have no dinner.”

“I’ll phone mum and ask her if we can go to her place.”

Aelin disappeared and Rowan stood in the kitchen looking at the mess. The fire had quickly spread and a part of the counter was damaged too. Everything was covered in foam and wasn’t even sure if it was safe to use the oven. The patties lay like burned blobs at the side. 

Aelin came back a moment later “mum is happy to have us. She is probably making dinner already.” She tugged her husband “let’s go, buzzard. We’ll think about it tomorrow.”

Once they finished getting the kids ready they went back to their room “So, Freyja wants to be a firefighter. She was staring at the fire in marvel and was amazed at seeing the two women firefighters.”

Rowan pulled Aelin to his chest “She is fearless like you. She has fire in her. I can totally see her become a badass firefighter.”

Aelin hugged him back in silence.

“She is our wee fireheart.”

Twelve years later, when Freyja finished her training at the fire academy and was assigned at the firehouse in Stornoway Aelin and Rowan happily looked back at that night knowing that it had changed the life of their daughter and were never happier of a fire in their house.

#island dreams #rowaelin #rowaelinkids #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #domestic fluff

[drakenxemma]

Congrats on 400 followers! Your tumblr was the first tumblr I came across with for Tokyo revengers and it made me love Draken and Emma so so much!

I'm super excited to see your request being opened! May I ask for a piece where one of them got sick and the other one takes cares of them? For example, maybe Emma's fever started burning up at school and Draken gave her a piggyback home (Draken always watching out/ mode of transport for the Sano siblings 😂), or maybe Draken was hanging out with Mikey at the Sano's place and Emma's the one who noticed he's sick and made him take a nap and cooked him something? (Gives him a taste of what home is like?)

They are just examples from the top of my head! It could also be when they were younger, or an alternative future where everyone is happy, any point in time haha! Any scenarios that comes to your mind/inspires you is fine, I'll just happy to read more of your writing :)

(Preferably something sweet - we have enough pain from the manga already 😭 but if you want to make it sad, that works too! I'm just happy to read your writings :) )

summary: (read the request) pairing: draken x emma characters: draken | ken ryuguji, emma sano content: fluff, so much fluff! warnings: // a/n: thank you so much for your request and thank you for loving my blog and the drakemma content! 💕 Please, enjoy the reading!

›› The closest

There are hoards of people, but Draken is tall enough for Emma to spot him anywhere. He is standing in the crowd, hands in his pocket and a stoic look on his face.

«Draken!» She waves at him. «What are you doing here?»

«Mikey told me to walk you home.»

He looks out of sorts, and this doesn't escape Emma's notice.

«Are you okay?»

He simply nods, as he takes Emma's heavy bag and shoulders it.

As they walk side by side, Emma notices how he tiredly drags himself. «Draken, are you sure you're okay?»

«Hm, actually, I don't feel very well.»

«What's wrong?»

«I'm cold, and my head aches.»

Emma stops, her eyes growing big. She stands on her tiptoes and places a hand on his forehead. «You're burning up!»

In a different situation, Draken would just pull away and scowl, but for some reason he leans into the touch, closing his eyes to take in the relief. It feels nice. «Am I?»

«Come on, let's go home.»

Once they get to Sano's household, Draken gives Emma her bag back, but before he can even say bye and turn around, she grabs his hand. «Stay here and take some rest, okay?»

«Don't worry, I—»

«Pretty please...» She gives him the puppy look.

And Draken is weak for Emma to an alarming extent. «Fine, just for a couple minutes.» He concedes. The truth, though, is that he truly wants to stay. When he is sick, no one's ever there to take care of him, and as much as he can handle himself just fine, in his heart he craves some warmth.

A couple minutes will turn into a whole afternoon.

As Emma goes to the kitchen, to get him a glass of water and prepare something to eat, Draken lies down on Mikey's bed. He has chills, his nose is starting to get runny and his muscles hurt.

When Emma is back, she tucks him in and smiles. «Are you comfortable like this?»

«Do you think Mikey will be mad at me for taking his bed?»

Emma chuckles. «As if he would ever get angry at you.»

Draken hums something, before his hand sneaks out from under the blankets to meet Emma's fingers and caress them. Her heart flutters, but she doesn't dare make any movement, for fear of ruining the moment.

«Thank you, little one.» He mumbles. His eyelids feel so heavy he struggles to keep them open.

«For— For what?» She stutters.

«For being the closest to a home I've ever had.»

«You have Mikey and Toman.» Emma timidly looks down at their intertwined fingers. «Other than me.»

Draken coughs. «That's right, but—» He leans forward, a cute and teasing smile forming on his lips. «Among them all, it's not like there's anyone I would actually kiss, other than you...»

Emma lightly gasps, flustered and blushing, as his body moves forward on its own accord, until their lips meet for a tender peck.

«We shouldn't be doing this.» Draken whispers, but he doesn't pull away. «I have a fever, it may be contagious.»

«Will you take care of me in return, just in case?»

«Definitely.»

That's how they resume their little imprudent kiss. It feels too sweet and warm to pass up.

#tokyo revengers #drakemma #draken #ken ryuguji #emma sano #draken x emma #tokyo revengers fic #tokyo revengers headcanons #g. writes #g. replies #ask #milestone event