#its seriously to hard to write like it doesnt feel the same anymore

[bangtancentricsblog]

how do you write? like i tried writing this new anime fic at work today, yes at work i dont care if they see me write anime fics at work cause im one of the many weirdos there. wither way im standing in the front by the registar and im writing ideas down, i go on lunch and start typing on my phone and if im 100% honest with you i absolutely hated it. it has to the worst draft i have ever started like i seriously took my half hour lunch typed up maybe 200 words clocked back in and read it again only to announce how much i hated it before closing the app altogether

#emm rants #its seriously to hard to write like it doesnt feel the same anymore #all that progress went down the drain cause i havent written shit since like last may or something

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Omg i havee SOOO much to tell and ask you its both sad and fun stuff, First off i wanna tell you that you are such an amazing person like seriously omggg how do u even exist like you must not be allowed away from heaven. Btw random: i heard u mention abt u in university so hows that going and whats ur majorr???? :)) And now the very very bad stuff: i messed up. not very uncommon you see, but very bad. my cousin whom i rllyyy love shes amazing shes like the andromeda to my sirius. nd my dad's side is very cruel to my mom before i ws born and they also shamed her for having a kid (my sis) that has problems (they refuse to tell me what it is but she has 2 problems idk the first one she has since birth and the second is that she had um.. men parts but when she was around 4/5 we founf out shes.. female? im a minor i rlly dont undersrand how ths works so..yeah. shes 8 now btw this year shes gonna be 9 y/o) basically very cruel people very very bad and so my cousin, whos from my dad's side, she came for like a sleepover thingy and my father commented on my mom's side and how they arent close to me even though they are my basucaly everything.. and in reply, i said how i like them and they are good and i said "my mums side is great... better than father side atlst" and she said "i can hear u yk" and i said that shes a excpetiion but when she wnt home she really felt upset and she had an exam but she stll didnt come to my house (my house is closer to her school so she stays here in exam time so it takes less tme in travelling) so my father cmpletly blamed me and now im so upset idek what to do i dont wanna apologize to her cz she doesnt know that i know that she said shes upset. my father confronted me about it and he got to jknow from my cousins mom so there was no direct contact but basically yeah thats it. i need help in what i should do to fix things again :( but this is the reason that simply talking wouldnt work and its rlly hard :( btw random: how do i start my microfic thing like do i just upoad a micfic or do i post smgthn else first if ykwim? another thing:

yeah idk but i think m bisexual and i have a bestfriend shes straight and supports lgbtq+ community but i rlly like her and cz were besties i dont wnanna ruin anything at all and im cool with how we r rn but at the same time i want more ykwim? and.. were like the touchy-feely kinda bestfriends so we hold hands n stuff as a joke nd people ship us and its so asdxdfgkhljhxx idek if i rlly like her as a frnd or i like her as in like like her.. but i also have a crush on a boy but it only lasts for 2 secs but when i see him again i start to thibk i like him again but my other rlly gud friend likes him so is it that i like hm and ignore my feelings js cs my frnd liks him or do i just like him as frnds,, idek were close we play games togheter n stuff but thtas about it..

also have i mentioned how much of an angel you are??? i literally scream and jump off a cliff casually when u reply to my texts <333 ilysm ur such a great person <333

xoxo, sweet potato <33

hi!

Aww you're so sweet! I'm not in university anymore, at least not in the traditional sense: I'm working on my master's degree. It's going.....not terrible lol. I'm majoring in ESL Education (English as a Second Language).

For your first question: I think this is a really good example of how talking through other people isn't the best solution. Do you have any way of getting in contact with your cousin directly? Because things are definitely going to be changed and exaggerated if you are talking through your aunt and dad. Once you talk to her, be truthful. Be sincere and tell her how important she is to you. I'm betting she'll come around.

For microfics: Nope, just go for it! You don't have to do anything beforehand, just start! I can't wait to see what you write!

For the last part: First, are you sure you friend is straight? If she definitely is, then yeah, it might not be worth it to say anything? But I mean, you could always try bringing it up casually. Like "Oh, I think you're really pretty!" and see what happens?

With the guy- I know it sounds cliche, but if your friend likes him, stay away. I've been there. I've seen friendships fall apart. It's not worth it, especially since you're not even sure of your feelings. I know I probably sound like a parent, here, but there was a full-on FEUD I experienced in eighth grade because two people were fighting over a guy and....yeah.

Thank you so much for the compliments, you're so nice!! <3 I hope you have a great day!

#ask #asks #ask cas

[hellonerf]

OHH same anon as lasg time!!! now rhat we have confirmation of relationships can we maybe get a list of em?

OK... i will try my best... keep in your mind i am ame guy i always think about ame its a torturous existence but i will use this opportune to explain my 2ptalia. i wont make a list cz thats hard so i'll just write as much as i can. long paragraphs here we go

2p fra and 2p eng live in the manor and he's the head of the household there (of like two people lol). 2p eng plays the role of a stay at home mother and 2p fra the father. years back meri and nada lived there as the kids. 2p eng likes playing house but he wants full control of the house so its suffocating for the others. meri especially had always needed particular kinds of help and rejected alot of 2p england's ways. but 2p eng was also very particular about things so they clashed really badly. 2p eng fed him shit like human meat idk how to fit this in but this old 2p thing is so funny to me i have to keep it anyways that was a thing meri was kind of the problem child there. 2p eng did not like meri lol but it was under layers of strange lying and false affections

nada was like... a lying kid he'd just go with what was told of him quietly and kind of halfassedly to get things done. but he also would try to cool down situations to keep himself and meri safe. he fed meri wild berries or whatever other foods that meri wouldn't get sick from and puke out so he didn't end up seriously malnourished... a good older brother. if not a little aloof. (and meri could be difficult sometimes because. you know. obviously. and nada didnt always know how to respond to him properly). he is all annoyed by meri Now bcz of how clingy and needy he is and how meri seems to want him to prioritize his needs over nada's own. meri doesn't intend this but nada to him is someone who'd never drop him anyways and meri wants to feel whatever counts as happy at the moment (does whatever he wants lol).

2p fra is useless husband lol ok but he is a sad sad guy and he doesnt gaf anymore and just stays in the manor and during the brothers childhood mostly turned the other way. he can garden tho theres that! also 2p eng can actually cook he just does shit but he can cook well. hes demanding of his husband and purposefully difficult sometimes... likes testing him.

nada and 2p eng's relationship is a lot better but nada holds his tongue a lot anyways. they get along pretty okay and meri is like im really chill about that (not really)(but well nada likes me more than him anyways... he'll always take my side no matter what he tells england...). meri thinks 2p fra hates him too but 2p fra doesnt he just doesnt gaf about those damn kids. after meri and nada ran away 2p fra was like well i guess this family doesnt really have kids anymore. and 2p eng waslike no they just left for college. (2p fra: college doesnt exis.t.. okay). now meri and nada adventures the small deserted world they live in on a shitty motorcycle doing errands and jobs for people.

now for other guys. 2p ita is an asshole to like everyone but he gets things done. he keeps things in line in most of the area though some people dont listen to him even if he threatens them. he's pretty aware of whats his strengths and what isnt so hes calculating about who and how he exerts control... hes the one who figured out the very faraway portal door to 1p world. he lives in a long asymmetric tower that looks like a radio tower... 2p ger works here for him and basically lives there too. 2p ger is a kind of mechanic thats weirdly clumsy but also really good at his work. (2p ger gives us gratuitous fanservice from tripping over lines that werent there previously and 2p ita pops three whole blood vessels at once!) 2p jp is the bodyguard ish. but he kind of hates being under people so he doesnt always listen to his bosses. (2p ita knows how to get him to listen tho even if its a hassle). 2p ita hires meri and nada to do shit sometimes (mostly nada cz meri is worse at listening than him. but meri shows up there anyways so they get to know each other's working styles). they dont like each other but due to a job now 2p ger, meri, and nada all know about the door so he has to figure out to keep them in check about it

2p pru is 2p ger's older brother that was a major deal but lost his whole arm!!! and is now weak and sad. so 2p ger mostly takes care of him and his mechanical arm. 2p ger has little loyalty to people, but he takes care of his brother anyways. he'd probably sell him out lol but then take care of him after anyways.

2p roma is on the radio Oh i forgot to mention everyone has a little walkie talkie or radio that connects to the radio tower and this is like their only source of entertainment (unless germy lets them borrow his shitty laptop) and well communication of sorts. anyways hes on the radio always and has to keep coming up with material and sometimes has to pretend like hes 2p ita when giving announcements... 2p ita thinks hes annoying and thinks whatever "entertainment" he gives on the radio sucks ass but they got each others backs anyways.

2p japan as i said is a kind of bodyguard but he's very protective of his work and also not friendly like at all. 2p chi is not rly his mentor but they keep running into each other anyways. 2p chi is kind of true idgaf guy he lives in one of the houses closer to the radio tower because its convenient and he couldnt care less about the other people around. he keeps a lot of old things in his house like old jewelry old trinkets just old old things of their world. he might've been the one who found the laptop and just gave to it to 2p ger just cz he asked. 2p ger gets his mechanical materials from him because nobody else keeps shit they find cause they suck and are lazy. so germys always like man that guys the best! and 2p japan grits his teeth and stars come out from him gritting his teeth cz of how hard he grit his teeth. 2p chi does not gaf abt 2p japan of course its like a weird beef... he keeps the old trinkets because its useful and he might find a thing or two that makes his life more convenient... if not he'll sell or give them away. he listens to the radio and thinks it sucks but not much else to do.

2p spain is a little further away from the radio tower but he's there. he lives in someplace that looks like a church but if you walk in its basic house interior. he is a shit guy but knows and keeps and sells information around here. 2p ita has beef with him for that(but its fine... he's a patient guy... kgh...) and instead of talking directly for managing stuff he just sends 2p roma to do it.(romas like i dont rly wanna... but fine.. cz im just rly charitable...) 2p spain likes throwing glass at people thats just a thing he does. meri and nada doesnt like doing jobs for him but he pays a lot so they do it anyways. 2p ger wouldnt mind working for him but 2p spain doesnt trust his weird mechanics and technology... he does things manually. of course he doesnt know but many things of his house runs on the same mechanics...

2p russia is closer to the radio tower than 2p spain is but relatively not close. he likes keeping the plants and ecosystem in this world alive because nobody else is managing it. (2p fra would but he's in that fuckass manor all the time... this pisses 2p rus alot cz instead of being useful to the environment hes just There). meri has no idea but the only reason there was wild berries all around and various non-meat food is cz of 2p rus. 2p rus barely knows of him tho he just hears abt them like oh those two who would do anything for a little piece of money. 2p russia always has the radio on because information is valuable even if right now its just a shitty improvised soap opera on the radio... he doesnt like other people and only interacts if he must.

aaand i forgot to mention but 2p eng's manor has one singular radio connected to the radio tower but its like always turned off and hidden. 2p eng doesnt like 2p ita and doesnt agree with how he runs things at all and is the one who is most uncooperative with him. thats why 2p eng is really secluded living in the manor... he's the furthest away from the radio tower. 2p ita thinks hes a freak but hes mostly not causing trouble for him so he lets him do whatever that shit is.

#ask #2ptalia #fuck this took a lot #okay here u gooo

[ferrn0]

REGARDING POSTING

heads up / TW: this looks at personal stuff + vent(? sorta) ALSO this is not super important / not essential for you to read

TL;DR:

less posting due to massive lack of motivation

want to post more and take art serious but its hard

could be depression or hormones idk dont know what to do

overthinking lots -> dont know why this is happening

crave regular change but havent had it + difficult to get change bc of parents -> maybe this is why??

going to try my best not to stress abt it

do not worry about me, im going to be okay

i havent been posting much proper/ finished/ full art ( not sketches ) because ive been really struggling with motivation this year. For all i know, it could be a depression(?) thing or perhaps hormones ( i have a uterus unfortunately) or maybe it just comes down to ADHD.. i do take medication for adhd but they dont really do much regarding dopamine so my motivation is still kinda low even when i take the meds. I really want to be posting proper art and i want to take my art more seriously however, without motivation its really difficult. Im finding myslef slipping back into what feels like a depressive mindset. kind of. yet, im super happy in so many aspects of my life where i used to be affected by this mindset. I have found a better group of people to be around ive found more things i want to do and ive got goals for the year- i didnt have those this time last year. And now.. my creativity has been affected and i dont know what to do.

-

I feel guilty for not posting. Or maybe i feel frustrated that i dont post (which leaves me with noone seeing my work). Either way, i want to post. but i cant get myself to.

this leaves me thinking...

"maybe i just need to improve my skills"

"maybe im not putting enpugh effort in, what if im just not 'trust(ing) the process' enough"

"i might need to just try a new medium"

"maybe i need a new intrest or fandom to join so i can make fanart"

"what if i was just qrong my whole life and im not cut out to be an artist?"

"perhaps theres something else wrong with me and thats why i cant get myself to do things"

And this circles round and round. So what do i do about it?? should i just take a break and not focus on posting? but i already do that anyway! do i just try to do a month long or a week long challenge? but i always miss days and eventually give up!

The more i write about this the more i realise i am not okay. and that im getting worked up over a small thing. but i am miniscule and to me this small thing is ginormous.

-

i am a kind of person who craves change. but only when i want it. And i have gone a very long time without the kind of change i need in my immediate environment. so maybe thats the issue. but i happen to be a child. who lives with his parents. so that causes some problems, dont it? not that my parents are horrible people or incredibly unfair. but because they have their own ideas of how we (me and my brothers) should grow up and what sort of privileges we get ect. because they are my parents. My parents believe that we should each have atleast one physical out-of-school activity we do each week. I do basketball. and i have been since i was in grade 5. its been almost 5 years. dont get me wrong, i love the game and i love playing it. but i find myself dreading going to each game everyweek. i need change. i want to quit bball. i also do drama classes each week(since yr 6/7)- but i like that. and i dont want to quit. because its different every week, every year. My bedroom has also been that same for the past 3 or so years, yes i have moved things around, but the furniture hasnt changed, and the walls have been the same colour with the same wall stickers since we moved in when i was in year 1. I spend a lot of time in here(my room) and it doesnt feel like mine anymore.

-

TW- eating

my medication for ADHD gives me a smaller to no appetite during the day. I no longer bring much or anything to school to eat. i dont really eat breakfast either(but i did that before i got meds anyway). I still eat dinner everyday, just a little less that i used to. and i will eat lunch (depending on situation) during the holidays and weekends mostly because it ends up getting made dor me half the time. i do suspect the rather sudden change un my eating habbits might be affecting me. but nothing terrible has happened to me yet(i have lost a few kgs but that isnt worrying as i was a little overweight beforehand). perhaps this is affecting my motivation too. but who i am to know for sure?.

END OF TW

-

i think i will just continue as i have been. but i will try my best to not worry myself over not posting. although i cannot make any garantees. not many people follow or interact with me here so i doubt this will cause too many concerns but if it does, please do not worry. i will be okay. i am working on myself.

I apologise to those who want/wanted to see my work more/more often. i hope this all makes sense and that you can understand ♡

with sillies,

thomas[FERRN0]

[souryogurt64]

is there any proof that Pete has recovered from his misogynist era or do I just have to trust him 🙏

x

he hasnt said anything thats seriously annoyed me in like ten years. unlike when i was a literal child i understand now that he was kind of a completely awful person and people not might like me or want to associate with me for being a fan or whatever. but at the end of the day im not (that) terminally online and i understand most people outside of childrens cartoon discourse websites think its much cooler to like a rock band

he talks a lot about how hes grown as a person and he realized when he had his son that he had spent his entire life being shitty, on loveline he said he realized for the "past 29 years hed been the most selfish creature thats ever existed" and he said about tttyg “It would be fraudulent for me to write piss-you-to-put-you-out lyrics anymore. I have better self-examination and I am in a better place. I know people hang onto that, but it’s not real. It’s not me anymore.” ashlees new husband or whatever speaks very highly of him which a lot of people think is telling since she was the one that left him and he had a history of being violent jealous and controlling

the whole time ive been a fan hes had the same girlfriend and hasnt had any scandals or even rumors of scandals and just seems focused on being a father. and like people really do hear about those things if they get bad enough, another high profile frontman in a similar music genre for example has had some episodes over recent years where hes yelled at a waitress and called her a bitch or theres been insane public arguments at his house, and i dont think that guy is a bad person either but my point is nobody really hears that about pete but they used to which makes me feel like he just doesnt act like that anymore. if that makes sense

i do think hes probably still kind of sexist in general because old habits die hard but i think hes matured a lot and is less of a dick about it and just tries to be a decent normal guy these days

i think the biggest thing is that i got a message from someone who was a young female minimum wage employee in chicago in like 2004 and she described him as an absolute nightmare that came in with his friends and they made a huge scene and loudly ranked waitresses out of 10 and told them to smile and didnt tip. but i recently got a message from a different young female minimum wage employee who works at a store that he regularly shops at now and she described him as very kind, polite, quiet and socially anxious/nervous.

[kekisu]

TOP 5 CHARAS AND 5 REASONS WHY YOU LIKE THEM GO GO GO

AHHHH OKAY OKAY. I LITERALLY LIT UP WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA THANK YOU SO MUCH ah okay. i hope its ok if i leave it to just one or two of my fav things about them though cause NFHBGDF I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MILES LONG i hope you understand!!!!!

1. LIGHT YAGAMI

now. i dont think anybodys surprised. MFKSKFMFMHNGJN honestly, though i dont care about death note much at all anymore, hes like gum stuck to my shoe and i just cannot get him off no matter what i do. i tell myself that i dont give a fuck about anything in death note until i see him on my dash and i go apeshit. hes completely changed me and how i approach analyzing complex characters. i think hes the first character that ive ever actually cared about in that sense? the sense where i look into every detail about him i mean. its really just so fun...

my absolute favorite thing about him... i really love how funny he is. this isnt to say hes a humorous guy im saying hes funny as in he makes such stupid decisions and its hilarious to see him struggle so hard constantly. the entire ending of death note is fucking insane it sends me into laughing fits every time. theres so many funny moments in death note despite it being considered a psychological horror animanga because of him being a genuine fucking idiot 24/7. hes supposed to be a genius but he truly does lack so much self awareness sometimes.

if you wanna know more of my thoughts in depth, i have an analysis of him here that you can check out :) ID LOVE FEEDBACK ON IT so if you disagree with me or have questions etc feel free to shoot an ask and ill try to answer!!!!!

2. GORO AKECHI

god... hes perfect. he and light are on the same level of favoritism for me, dont let the numbers fool you. hes hands down my absolute favorite in persona 5 and it blows my mind knowing that the majority of the fandom feels the exact opposite or are torn over him ITS ALMOST FRUSTRATING because its mostly due to the amount of misinformation/mischaracterization spread about him!!!! but no he just happens to be the best written character in that piece of shit of a game! MFDKDHNGJJ AND PERSONA FANS CANT COMPREHEND GOOD WRITING

my favorite thing about him.. i love how hes written. and i know this sounds really basic and predictable, but its the truth i just really love his growth as a character, especially in royals third semester when he gets a chance to properly shine and oh my god! did he shine! hes literally so perfect in 3rd sem

theres just something so captivating about an angry teenager who truly thinks of his life as worthless and doesnt bother making bonds with others because of it who suddenly finds himself questioning his choices of self isolation when he finally meets a group of people he can resonate with and feel seen by. a group of people who are willing to reach out and listen to him despite his past mistakes. theres just something so perfect about seeing that same angry teenager want to take his life into his own hands and strive to grow... that same angry teenager who didnt value his own life start to see meaning in things because of bonds...

i love goro so so much he makes me so emotional if it isnt obvious enough NGFHGDGBDFH I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT. i think about him healing so much.

(btw im working on an analysis for him atm thats similar to lights so! stay tuned for that dropping when its done in like a million years NFHFBGFHDBGHF)

3. AKIRA KURUSU

DAMN 2 PERSONA 5 CHARACTERS IN A ROW

OKAY SO i know Technically akira is supposed to be a blank slate silent protagonist but let me tell you THATS SO FAR FROM WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS. IM NEVER FORGIVING ATLUS FOR TRYING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE SILENT PROTAG BOX AND NOT LETTING HIM BE HIS OWN CHARACTER! BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AMAZINGGGGG ugh sorryfor caps im so fuckng mad MKDFKMGMHMGMG

it really does get on my nerves how because of atlus trying to make him a silent protag, the majority of the p5 fandom sees him as that. blank slate. nothing. when in reality he very much has a ton of spunk and id argue that hes his own character entirely if you just look a little deeper past the surface Like... its not even that hard to see personality in him. beneath the mask is literally his theme song, have you Not seen the lyrics to that? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE GAME? this little dude is so traumatized and angry at those who wronged him (aka the justice system! shitty adults!) and people have the nerve to say hes the worst persona protagonist? lmfao

my favorite thing about akira is how he looks like a cat and how cocky and annoying he can be.. he is such a jokester hes the absolute dumbest. i enjoy this silly guy. *holds him under the armpits like a longcat*

4. SHIGEO KAGEYAMA

ahhh mob. he makes me do this -> :)

mp100, of course, changed my fucking life. mp100 is the reason i am the way i am and though all the characters are incredibly relatable and memorable and i cherish them so dearly, i, like most people, cherish mob the absolute most. seriously his strength really is incredible and though hes just a fictional character he is so inspiring and i wish to carry as much gentleness in my heart as he does.

im so so proud of him on his development he started off so.. i wouldnt say he was weak, but i would say that he lacked experience. he lived in his own little bubble not knowing what the world was like and throughout the story he grew to learn so much.. he learned to make such. mature decisions at such a young age. hes so so wise. hes so powerful not only because of his psychic powers but because of his compassion for others. he can befriend even the worst of people...

my favorite thing about him is his determination to become the best version of himself he can be. and also his relationship with ritsu (not me, i mean ritsu kageyama <3) i always gravitate towards siblings in fiction because im an only child and well <3 i dont experience that. so i like projecting onto them GHBFBBHFG they care so much for each other.. sniffle sniffle

5. RYO ASUKA

ok im going to be real even though im into devilman i dont have much of a reason to enjoy him this much. i just think hes hilarious and really cool and his satan form gives me gender envy. i love it when he commits random easily avoidable acts of violence for no reason at all its just because he wants to. and thats just fine. i think he can kill people and get away with it because hes ryo asuka. gay rights

#asks #dn #p5 #mp100 #devilman #long post #THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THIS ASK

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 11

post directory

obsetress: i'm about to fully fall asleep but i have been thinking about exes au danvi and like the isabel of it all and dani dating a single mom and how just like

obsetress: vi is so protective of isabel and as much as she loves dani like

obsetress: she took SO LONG before introducing her and then like

obsetress: when they broke up dani left and dani wasnt in isabels life anymore and dani was so good for isabel and viola just feels so fuckin shitty and blames herself and

obsetress: but i'm also thinkin bout soft fluffy stuff too like how much dani loves isabel and how much vi loves watching isabel w dani and

em: hey hannah what the fuck

obsetress: isabel has a nightmare one night and goes to her mom's room and dani's there too and she just curls up between them

em: do you think when they finally reconnected dani was like hey um. does isabel remember me. would it be weird if

obsetress: FUCK

obsetress: this absolutely happens

em: viola is VERY apprehensive at first

obsetress: god yeah esp after getting so hurt by it but

obsetress: viola sure cannot say no to dani!

em: i love some dani with kids tho

em: maybe too soft but do u think for at least a couple years dani would like. send isabel a bday card

em: like dead air otherwise

em: hmm idk i am chewing that one over more

obsetress: god it's hard i think dani wants to but she doesn't

obsetress: i could see dani writing them and holding onto them

em: oh that’s even worse

obsetress: even tho she really doesnt think she'll ever talk to vi again

em: what a soft and depressing thought. thank u. i resent u.

obsetress: yeah it hurts!

obsetress: but then she does! and she gives them all to isabel when she's older maybe

em: hold on i’m gonna bawl

em: sometimes my parents will be like um. do u remember this person and i’m like uh i don’t remember people i worked w two years ago let alone

em: but i think isabel does

em: i will be thinking about this all afternoon bestie have a wonderful slumber

[em note: em yells in hannahs DMs while she's asleep dot png]

em: no um. mate im still furious about the isabel of it all wtf

em: thinking about um. like ok i dont wanna use isabel as a prop but this is certainly one of those times where

em: violas been hurt before and viola's hurt other people before because she's deeply troubled and i feel like that would be one of the first times she sorta. sure she licks her wounds and feels miserable for herself but its also like uh

em: really sobering to realise This Hurts Isabel Too

em: because yknow violas very gatekeep gaslight girlboss i think shes got a strong enough sense of self that nothing really shakes that. maybe even to a deluded degree. i dont think she goes to therapy because shes like wow im fucked up i gotta get help, she's more like

em: shes really driven by her love for isabel!! gestures WILDLY

em: realised this is an au where parents get therapy and dont pass their traumas onto their kids and i want OFF this WILD RIDE im so tired of discovering things about myself through the realm of fiction

obsetress: yeah same i kept thinking about it too alfkadlsfkjdasf

obsetress: i want to reply to every single line of the isabel thing but i'm not gonna do that so let me just say: YEAH

obsetress: like isabel is her cornerstone full stop everything comes down to isabel

em: dani's probably so nervous reconnecting w isabel again. absolutely spinning her lil wheels

em: they set up a lil date and time and dani's doing her gay nervous babble abt if isabel even remembers her or god forbid resents her n jamies like...

em: im pursing my lips as i draw a line on the whiteboard between jamie's whole childhood and isabels and shaking my head Goddamn It

em: jamie lets dani babble it out n pauses and reflects on what she's saying n then jamie's like. the fact ur nervous means u care. n kids are v good at picking up when ppl care. you'll be alright.

obsetress: god yeah this bit i can just. hear it

obsetress: it's so visceral

---

em: viola

obsetress: god my favorite taurus hedonist

[em note: hannah yells in em's DMs while em is asleep dot png]

obsetress: god fuck what was i thinking about isabel this morning like

obsetress: that's what i get for daydreamin between snoozes and not writing it down alas

obsetress: but just like how excited isabel is to see dani again when she does and also like, isabel and rebecca

obsetress: then i started thinking about

obsetress: rebecca and vi getting married and vi's always like i'm not gonna get married again it's bullshit and rebecca's like it's not for me but then they just

obsetress: like they live together and they share everything and rebecca looks out for isabel just as much and they get to a point and it's like

obsetress: oh. oh

obsetress: like they're both like it's the logical thing to do. it's logical and it's safe and we should have this extra layer of protection but also it's like

obsetress: they find themselves more and more excited a lil you know? and just thinking about how isabel's there and how excited isabel is and

obsetress: but god yeah what i was thinking about this morning like. one day vi has to tell isabel dani's not gonna be coming around anymore and like

obsetress: isabel doesn't really understand and she's so sad and then vi feels even shittier

obsetress: and she's like "we'll be okay. it's you and me, remember? moving mountains"

obsetress: "you me us, right?"

obsetress: the first time rebecca meets her she brings her a book as a gift and is like "this was one of my favorites" and

obsetress: OH I REMEMBERED

obsetress: so like when dani sees isabel again finally (and yknow as nervous as dani was vi was even more on edge because it's so inconsistent and is she gonna understand yknow? and the two of them just spiral––which is also another thing about the two of them in a relationship! i think they push each other down spirals)

obsetress: jamie's there too and dani's like "this is... this is, uh, jamie" and it's like you said jamie isabel parallels and so jamie's like a lil tender

obsetress: spoiler: isabel and jamie end up bonding the most

obsetress: jamie's like running around with isabel on her shoulders and then showing her all these plants and taking her to gardens and

obsetress: another tentative jamie vi alliance

em: isabel mikey hangout When

obsetress: isabel mikey hangout!

obsetress: they're hanging with isabel and she and jamie have a very spirited discussion where isabel's like "i wanna be a princess" and dani's like "why not a knight?" and jamie's like "why not opt out of the feudalistic hierarchy entirely and ditch the kingdom for the high seas?" and convinces isabel to go full pirate

obsetress: and then isabel kinda passes out with her head in jamie's lap and jamie's just kinda idly playing with her hair (vi is already like "am i... attracted to jamie in this moment?")

obsetress: and jamie's like "y'know, i should bring mikey round next time isabel's here" and viola's like "......who?" and jamie's like "my little brother? mikey?" and viola's like "right.... right"

obsetress: cut to later, when dani and jamie have retired to vi and becca's guest room: "since when does jamie have a little brother?" "she always has, babe"

em: kinda obsessed w like. violas love for isabel means her wires get crossed when the surly gardener is Good With Kids

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: mikey and isabel immediately hit it off i think

obsetress: a bit of an odd couple because i think isabel is definitely, like, her mother's daughter and mikey is............. mikey

obsetress: but i think they meet in the middle and help each other grow and play pirates together

em: viola is like. of course mikey and isabel will get along. isabel is wonderful. but jamie is quietly Sweating about the whole thing

em: so damvibecca are having their afternoon tea and their little cakes and jamie is Quietly sweating and she’s like ‘quiet is good, right? like they’re not tryna k-‘ and then there’s the sound of two 8 year olds (idk how old they are tbh) YELLING as they chase each other down the hall w wrapping paper tubes

obsetress: nervous babbling dani x quietly sweating jamie, an otp

em: isabel has gotten into the make up n given them both black eyes n scars and moustaches n everyone’s like oh no how’s viola gonna feel about this but viola is DELIGHTED

obsetress: dani's like "chill you all she's gonna––" and then viola is getting up and asking them to do her face too

em: made a parrot outta a sock and newspaper

obsetress: viola playing pirates w isabel and mikey

em: kids w their endless creativity n absolute disregard for personal property is truly a thing of dreams

obsetress: mikey gives her a paper tube and she disarms isabel, takes hers, and offers it very seriously to jamie

em: cuteeee

obsetress: rebecca's giving dani a look and dani is completely unfazed and reaching for another tea cake

em: absolutely unflappable dani clayton

em: dani and rebecca sharing a Look like hey have you ever seen her this gleeful

obsetress: there is something very tasty about jamie taylor having a direct hand in making viola so gleeful

em: takes a village!

obsetress: when viola's two big loves are sitting five feet away from them both

em: everyone changes everyone for the better

em: fucken soft ass chat over here

obsetress: everyone changes everyone for the better

obsetress: soft as hell

em: thesis statement everyone likes each other so much (jamie pretends she doesn’t)

obsetress: (jamie pretends she doesn't) (jamie might like everyone the most)

obsetress: viola registers mikey for isabel's school n pays full tuition

em: oh my god

obsetress: jamie is horrified and refuses to accept it and viola waves a hand and is like "too late, deposit's non-refundable"

em: (they carpool)

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: oh god and like

obsetress: flora and miles go there too

obsetress: full circle complete

em: broke: highschool au woke: guardians of primary schoolers au

obsetress: dani jamie in bed jamie's like "you don't...... think it's weird?" "hmm?" "mikey going to.... school with our boss' kids?" "why would that be weird" "i dunno" "he also goes to school with my ex's kid" "he's best friends with your ex's kid" "and that's not weird, is it?" (grumbles) "not anymore" "so why would this be?"

em: jamie’s ribbing mikey for his silly tie and straw hat but she teaches him how to tie a tie and also she keeps crying for some reason???

obsetress: oh fuck

em: mikey: can’t i just get a fake tie >:/

jamie: no because when u have a real tie you can leave it untied a little as an act of rebellion

obsetress: god it's jamie crying for me

em: i love that big baby

obsetress: so much!

em: jamies like idk what’s gotten into me i never cry n danis like. raises one eye brow and mentally checks off all the times jamie has absolutely bawled watching a movie

em: not even a sad movie

em: dani plays along

em: maybe ur getting soft in ur old age jamie

obsetress: jamie i cry three four times a day five if i'm being honest taylor

em: thinking about their weekly weekend lunch w damvibecca and hannah and owen and miles and flora and

obsetress: dfjsldkfjslfslfj

obsetress: god big found family

obsetress: you know viola doesn't like

obsetress: dani and jamie respectfully toe around whatever the fuck owen and hannah have going on but viola just does not suffer it. she's so blunt to them

em: big viola grin and all ‘owen, hannah, i assume you will be each other’s dates?’ (owen chokes on his tiny egg sandwich)

em: hannah grose is serene and unreadable as she dabs a bit off yolk off owens moustache

em: maybe even a bit pleased

obsetress: everyone is always so tense when viola and hannah get together because neither of them take shit yknow

obsetress: and everyone's like "which way is this gonna go"

em: god. peak snarky broads

obsetress: but usually they end up good. two apex predators where one is a lil vicious but the other is so confident in its status that it just chills

em: they have the Best gossip

obsetress: would love to sit in and listen as they drink tea and gossip tbh

em: viola presses owen on hannah and he goes red and viola presses hannah on owen and she does a little wouldnt-you-like-to-know into her tea

em: viola nee willoughby and hannah grose friendship is. truly something i never knew i needed until now

em: they’re both just that lil bit older than the rest of the gang too

obsetress: an important coalition

obsetress: hannah grose! hannah looking out for rebecca and that's the couple times she gets a lil testy w vi

obsetress: mikey and isabel besties but flora and mikey get along really well and isabel and miles do too i think

em: the sheer chaos of a taylor-lloyd-windgrave story time

obsetress: LDKFjKLSDJF HELP

obsetress: taylor lloyd wingrave story time

obsetress: jamie suddenly very invested in story time

obsetress: dani's like "i know this is the first time you've actually cared about story time, babe, so let me give you some pointers"

em: i was just in my head thinking fondly about like. jamie is a drop out and plays a lil dumb sometimes for fun but also prolly reads a lot especially to mikey and now i’m like. wait i’m talking to Ms Floras Two Moms herself

em: idk if i had that headcanon before i read she taught me a lesson alright but yknow what! doesn’t matter it’s a beautiful one

obsetress: thank youuuu i love it a lot

obsetress: jamie big reader is generally one of my fave headcanons tbh i'm glad it seems to be widely accepted. can't even explain why it's just nice

em: sometimes i will talk 2 ppl about my passionate drop out jamie taylor belief n then they’re like but she’s smart (it’s only happened a couple times hahsj) and i’m like these aren’t mutually exclusive!! this is my very biased experience but my friends who do manual labor for a living seem to read so much more than my friends who don’t

em: your brain wants to chew over things while the hands are workin i reckon

obsetress: yes yes yes yes yes

obsetress: i think that's also like (sighs heavily)

obsetress: symptomatic of hegemonic perceptions of the working class

em: i love when u sigh heavily it’s always a fun take

obsetress: i think jamie is v clever and reflective and like if there's one thing i've learned getting older it's

obsetress: smart doesn't matter i think the most insightful most thoughtful people are the most reflective ones

obsetress: like none of it fuckin matters just be a nice person

#in which hannah says hegemonic perceptions of the working class and i pretend its foreshadowing vampire au #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #LONG one its like #2500 words which is #yknow! some pages #idk what counts as long all writing is witchcraft to meajhfjbnk #ik i should be pacing these a lil better but #i just wanna get up to vibeccas wedding im IMPATIENT

[axel-mania]

yesterday was the first time i met someone with ehlers-danlos. i was seeing her because she is a physical therapist with the disease i may have, and i hoped she could tell me whether my current pt is killing me with his treatment. and, you know, what she had done to be a working adult rather than someone frequently bedridden. it was a tiny office. i felt small, trapped, staring down at the intake paperwork, over a hundred questions and longer than any ive done before. i was so scared i wouldnt be able to get through that part and still have the scheduled meeting. but i guess she cared about seeing me, because even though other patients were asking for her help she still took the time to talk to me. 

so you write down all your pain, put down numbers that dont really convey anything about it, just trying to say that youre suffering and it should matter enough that something is done about it. i feel like im lying if i use all tens, but that means they might not take me seriously. on the flip side, im still walking and talking, no matter how feebly, so they might think im exaggerating it. my first adults' doctor told me id just have to learn to live with all this. but maybe this person understands. maybe shell care. 

youre just a six on the hypermobility scale. its eight to tens when we start to see the really bad conditions like ehlers-danlos. thats what the rheumatologist i was referred to said. but this physical therapist wasnt very flexible and shed been diagnosed. so she ended up completely redoing my evaluation. when i could bring myself to string more than a few words together to tell her, that is. i always feel stupid during these kinds of things. even if i record my pain, i dont have the right words to describe whats happening. i cant definitively answer all their questions, just give guesses. but she could see inflamed joints, out of place tendons, pops that i couldnt even hear. so i ended up meeting the criteria. it almost means nothing. 

i dont have an official diagnosis, which is almost impossible to gain, so i cant get benefits. well, i can at least pursue treatment, right? not really. she shot down the pain management options i had learned from the patient community, and said most people who felt worse in physical therapy were looking for someone to blame. shes the success case, and she presides over many more patients than me. so what could i do but accept it? 

theres only hard work. work you literally cant do if youre in enough pain. physically, im lucky. compared to others, my body has only broken down a little, so i can still do regular exercise. at the same time, no matter how hard i try, it will break down more. its a race alongside time. you can only get so much better as your body naturally gets worse. teaching your joints to stay in place doesnt mean making your body into a different one. 

youre never going to exist without pain every day. really sit with that for a second. you have to mentally say, im okay with this hard exertion every day, and im okay with it leading to only marginal and very long term benefits. i choose life no matter the consequences. 

and i cant choose that, not right now. not when i have questionable friends online and absolutely no one in real life. not when im living with my transphobic parents and am going to struggle to find any employment that can accommodate my disability. theres just really no reason. the one person who was dependent on me no longer is. i dont believe in life as an abstract good. so really, this seems to be a sign to kill myself.

whats going to happen isnt me dramatically and immediately hanging myself while my parents are asleep. its going to be a slow starvation. i repeatedly refuse to choose between life and death, fail to consistently do the exercise, and suffer more until its too much. this isnt exactly a cry for anyone to try talking me down. ive long since decided not to do that for others anymore, and i dont want it for me either. but it is sort of an open question... why are some people so happy to choose a miserable life? what do they have that i dont? maybe its a circular problem. im bitter because people arent caring for me enough, and people dont want to care for me because im bitter. 

#im typing this because i want to be seen #and i dont feel seen by anyone #but probably this is too difficult to respond to so i wont get any response #lol

[urmomsstuntdouble]

Congrats on 100!!! 💕 maybe for the writing request a hc list or maybe a character analysis on nyo Romano? 👉👈

of course! and thank you! this is sort of a combo of both? but here ya go, i hope you like it!

her name is chiara leandra vargas. i feel like maybe that didnt need to be said but also the name lovina, while similar to actual italian names, annoys me because its just tacking an a onto the end of lovino which isnt a name. i do think lavinia is kinda cute tho, although my favorite L names are leandra and larissa. 

i dont think italy had an equivalent to the Women’s Land Army (in Britain and the US, during WW1 and WW2, female civilians were organized into little farming communities to replpace the labor shortage caused by men going into the military), but that’s basically how i imagine her fashion sense is. just. this

also related to ww2 she was 100% in the resistence

she cuts her own bangs

one of her many jobs throughout history was a rollerskating waitress. i have absolutely no historical basis for this. it is the Vibe

on another fashion note, she tends to either dress similarly to the style of the WLA uniform or like. she’s trying to win at fashion week. 

chiara also makes the majority of her own clothes, with a preference for sewing by hand. i think that the nations are sort of treated like royalty by their governments, i imagine she’s had a lot of very nice clothes throughout the years, and there are certain things that she just misses, and modern technology can’t recreate her faves, so she likes to make stuff for herself. her level of involvement for getting the materials really varies too. if she’s feeling it, she might go out and shear a sheep. if that’s not the vibe she’d just as easily go to a fabric store and buy a couple meters of cotton. 

this is sort of related to another hc but she does not give a flying fuck about how feminine her wardrobe is anymore.

as an immortal woman, chiara tends to not particularly care about gender as a concept. she’s south italy, what more do you care, ya know? i think her relationship with her gender is a bit complex but also as simple as “well italia is feminine so it makes sense that im a woman.” like a lot of the female nations, i imagine she’s very strong and hasnt always been taken seriously by even the members of her own government, so it’s been hard, but she genuinely doesnt care anymore how people see her. because of that, she’s a much lighter person than she used to be, to the extent that other nations will comment on it. like...i think when she met russia again in the 20th century he was like wow you’re so chill what did you do to chiara? you know? and though she’s not like, fully happy and at peace with everything related to her gender, she’s just sort of over it, ya know? 

she has an interesting relationship with religion. i think she sees herself as being A Very Good Catholic™, but is she though? once again, as an immmortal, i dont think chiara’s very attached to religion as a concept, mostly because she cannot go to heaven, because she cannot die. well, she could, but she’s over 2000 years old and she doesnt look like she’s going anywhere soon, so. at this point she just sort of goes with what the church says, and if she disagrees with that, will make her own interpretation of the bible. and if she doesn’t like what the bible has to say, she’ll fall back on her own opinions. she has a little bit of catholic guilt about it

she’s definitely got some weird feelings about catholicism and how people can use it in ways that hurt others. its a bit conflicting, because the vatican is literally in her heart but she also doesn’t really like everything that comes out of it. at the end of the day she sort of prioritizes being a good person over being a good christian, although that’s not really how she sees it in her own head. 

she prefers to wear looser clothing. stuff that hides the shape of her hips and chest. this is because she’s often been told that she couldn’t fight or that she shouldn’t fight, because she’s a woman, but if you tell miss chiara vargas not to do something. She Will. i know that in hetalia canon female characters are shown to be soldiers too, like hungary, although im not sure if that’s the most historically accurate. i also think it might’ve been harder for nyo romano, because a lot of romano’s character is defined by his relationships with veneziano and with spain, during which both of them try to protect him from harm at every turn (screams in veneziano trying to make sure romano doesnt have to stress himself out with work while also implying that he thinks romano is lazy and incapable and thereby making him even more stressed because he thinks his brother hates him-). so if nyo romano is operating under those same frameworks and dynamics as her male counterpart, i think that spain and vene might have tried to fight for her a lot. that annoyed chiara for obvious reasons but also did wind up. preventing her from fighting a lot. i think that she was definitely involved in all military conflicts involving south italy, but not necessarily fighting for all of it, you know? anyway, all that is to say that i think she’d have people to sneak around if she wanted to fight, so she would need to disguise herself in order to do so. 

side note while she was like. an infantryman or whatever she definitely used that as a chance to explore her bisexuality. chiara would make a damn fine soldier and village girls think so too

lactose intolerant but still eats so much cheese because as south italy she legally has to. she suffers in silence because soy/almond/oat milk dont cut it for cheese. however, if she’s feeling a coffee with milk, she will use one of the non-dairy alternatives.

has had a crush on half of europe at some point

also had a thing with cuba for a time. borrowing the hc from the cumano server that cuba re-taught her how to speak spanish but The Correct Cuban Way and now she’s like. fucking carribean sounding. whenever chiara gets in a fight with spain she’ll lay on the cuban accent extra thick, because its fun to watch isabel pull her hair out sometimes :)

amazing singing voice

really good at makeup and only uses her skills for things that are sexy and evil

writing requests

#my love is stored in the chiara #thats my fjucking girl!!!!! #she dresses like a grandpa but like a very fashionable grandpa you know? like she's the most desired grandpa in town #also sorry i tried to combine hc list and analysis #i hope this is to your satisfactions #hetalia #hws #hws romano #nyo romano #writing requests #ceros posting

[joy1579]

Hey! So... When I started to play Mystic messenger I was a teenager, so I was wondering how the boys and Jaehee would react discovering that MC was a teenager too (platonic of course) I loved your headcanons btw ♥️

gah its been forever and a day since i was a kid. and even then i was like really bad at being a kid heh what do teenagers do? all i did was hide in the library and avoid socializing oops. whatever i had a lot of fun writing this! honestly i think they would all be very protective of you since the RFA really feels like one big family!

Jumin

He is proud of you and wants to provide you with future opportunities because that’s how he cares about people, by giving them a means to earn money and have purpose. Also he is very interested in what you can teach him about pop culture.  

-        Age doesn’t matter to him too much. Maturity does and you had proven your maturity by helping the RFA faithfully and well

-        In fact, he is very proud of how well you did and mentions that your professionalism at such a young age shows great potential should you apply to C&R (you know him well enough to take it for the compliment it is intended to be)

-        His presence practically drips with “proud dad preparing for his daughter’s future” vibes and considering the 11-year age gap you suppose you couldn’t ask for much better

-        That is until he hears you chatting on the phone and using slang he’s never heard before

-        Now he’s curious and asking questions. You show him some him some vines you have saved and teach him a bit about pop culture leading to an unlikely but very fun friendship

-        You and he tease zen a lot by having Jumin use made up slang and you pretending its super cool and zen’s just not with it. Also imagine getting Jumin to do a secret handshake just to piss Zen off. It ends with the “nyah” pose

Yoosung

Acts like your best friend that you enjoy teasing. He wants to be a good role model but that shiz is hard. You two bond a lot over stories about school and the struggles of exams.

-        He is very relieved to not be the youngest anymore because now maybe everyone will stop treating him like a baby. (spoiler alert they won’t. Ever.)

-        He worries that he’s supposed to act like a big brother. He doesn’t know how to do that! He’s always been the baby brother, or the youngest member, or the newest intern. How does one be responsible?

-        Tries and fails to intimidate guys away from you to “protect” you (but zen said it was his duty to keep you safe! He said all men are wolves MC!)

-        “If all men are wolves why isn’t he worried about you Yoosung?” “huh? Hey wait yeah! Does he not think I’m a man?!” “ go get em tiger. give zen a piece of your mind”

-        He helps you with homework a lot but no cheating! He tells you about the time he cheated to pass a class only to get to the next level class and understand NOTHING it took a lot of tutoring and studying and work to fix that mess. Best to learn it now while it’s still learnable.

-        He refuses to teach you LOL “don’t end up like me MC! Be better!” you learn it anyway and end up playing with him frequently. The rest of the RFA blame him for this much to his dismay.

Saeyoung

he wants to protect you in his own frankly silly way. still meme’s it up but doesnt want anyone “corrupting” you. actually he kind of treats you the way he would treat saeran.

-        He fights with V for the first time when V suggests leaving you in Rika’s apartment (with a bomb) but reluctantly comes around and does what V says

-        Stays a meme lord and is psyched if you can manage to out meme him

-        Definitely teases you about your age a lot (Yoosung is secretly glad to not be the ONLY one getting teased for being young)

-        “guys we have to protect the baby she has her whole life ahead of her”

-        Is the most adamant about not swearing, drinking or smoking around you

-        “y’all need Jesus there are CHILDREN here”

-        You may have to call him out on this behavior because seriously wtf you know for a fact hacking isn’t the most ethical or legal occupation and he’s gonna lecture you?!?

-        He may joke around but he up’s his protection game up about 10 notches because for real you have your whole life ahead of you

Zen

he basically adopts you okay. he wants to be your cool big brother friend and be everything his family never was for him. he takes care of you and stands up for you every chance he can.

-        He finds out very early on because the second he starts flirting seven shuts that shit down telling him your too young for that. He asks how young and is shocked but recovers pretty fast

-        You know the protective big brother trope? Yeah that’s him

-        He’s your ride or die friend too. Need a ride to school? He’s there on his bike, some dick is harassing you? He’s there to scare the punk off, and even though he doesn’t want to fight a kid he will if he has too

-        If its girls who are harassing, you he picks you up to give your rep a bit of a boost (it never hurts to be seen with such a handsome guy after all and if he shows up on his bike he’s also got the badass vibe going on)

-        He has ALWAYS wanted a little sister and now he’s adopted you. You’re his little sis now and he’s wrapped around your finger. He swears he’ll be a better brother than his brother was

-        He is so proud of all your accomplishments and is determined to encourage your dreams the way his parents never did (he might be living his family wishes vicariously through you but hey he treats you good so it’s cool)

Jaehee

-        She’s a bit worried about you taking on such a big responsibility as the RFA guest liaison at such a young age. What if your grads drop? Or you family gets upset? What if you had to also work a part time job and this interfered your young you need to be able to rest and live your life. (when you point out that she should do the same she brushes you off)

-        Not much changes honestly, she’s always been the RFA’s mom after all.

-        She gets a little stricter about language and “inappropriate” topics

-        She definitely encourages you to study and do well in school (and avoid any job’s Mr. Han offers you)

-        She still down to be your friend though! She’s all ears when you need to vent about school and you are always ready to lend an ear back when Jumin is giving you a hard time

-        You swap girl power ballads and she helps you set up a Zen fan club at your high school

Saeran

-        Look he didn’t intend to kidnap and actual kid and he’s honestly a bit panicked when he finds out your age you looked older than that he swears

-        Thankfully your mature enough and smart enough to do what’s needed of you and he supposes as long as you don’t have a family searching for you it should be okay

Ray

-        He’s a little more reserved but honestly not much changes he’s still innocent and devoted he calls you princess and tries to spoil you as much as he can he may not see you as a romantic interest but your still his obsession.

-        He likes that you trusted him even more since your young and therefor more vulnerable. You’re his family now, a better family than he’s ever had.

-        If you are the princess, he is your knight in the strictest definition. Which is to say he is devoted to protecting and serving you out of dedication and reverence rather than romance.

Unknown

-        He’s more verbally aggressive than physically aggressive

-        He doesn’t try as hard to seem intimidating because he thinks of you as a child, and he doesn’t have to prove how tough he is to a child it’s obvious after all.

-        Also his visits are simultaneously shorter and more frequent. Shorter because he tends to get flashbacks easier (since he sees you as a child despite you being a teen) and more frequent because they are less satisfying since he doesn’t let himself be physically aggressive.

Vanderwood

(IDK why but I feel like he probably had an actual family with a girlfriend/wife and possibly a very very young daughter before the agency. Maybe she left him and that’s why he’s so impressed by MC’s dedication in the secret ending. Or maybe they’re both dead because broken hearts make more money than whole ones. Either way I think a teen MC would remind him of his possible family and so he would be hell bent on separating you from the danger and drama of literally everything that happens in the game.)

-        He’s legitimately (and rightfully) concerned about you when he see’s you on seven’s CCTV feed

-        protective and angry dad mode activated

-        threatens to tazer seven into oblivion if he lets something (or causes something to) happen to you

-        “what the hell are you doing she’s a civilian AND she’s got her whole life before her, you and I might have thrown away our lives but she didn’t! whatever’s going on you had better fix it NOW”

-        He is not speaking with you. No way no how. Every word he says to you puts you more in danger and he is not having your life on his conscious

-        That being said the second you’re in danger he is all in on ANNIHILATING whatever has put you in danger

#mysme #mystic messenger #mm #jumin #jumin han #yoosung #yoosung kim #seayoung #seven #luciel #zen #hyun ryu #jaehee #jaehee kang #saeran #ray #unknown #vanderwood

[kachinnate]

for the ask thing: Trust Issues + Darkfic + “Do not tell anyone you saw this.” go wild

send me prompts!

16 (trust issues) + f (darkfic) + 38 (”Do not tell anyone you saw this.”)

Today feels.. off. 

  And not in the floaty, surreal ‘oh-my-god-it’s-happening’ weirdness that comes with it being his last first day of school. Jared genuinely felt like something, something, wasn’t fucking right, but he couldn’t pinpoint what the hell it was. 

  It was probably something stupid, like. Something he maybe forgot to do in his morning routine, or whatever. 

  But regardless, it was off-putting and he kind of hated it. 

  He couldn’t shake it, try as he might. The day kept going, and he kept feeling more.. just, misplaced? The only person he could imagine talking to about it was Evan, but he hadn’t seen the kid anywhere today. 

 @TheInsanelyCool_JK [8:45am] very lame of u to chicken out on the /first day/ 

@TheInsanelyCool_JK [9:58am] ….okay wait are you seriously not showing up evan wtf 

   He doubted that that was the weird thing. Or, at least, the only weird thing. The weird thing that was off-putting. Evan not being around or talking to him was, unfortunately, not something super out of the ordinary. 

  Anyway. 

  Sitting alone at lunch would’ve undoubtedly made him feel even worse (unconsciously, whether or not he wanted to admit it, he had been planning on sitting with Evan), which is how Jared found himself walking to the computer lab. If you could believe it, his AP calc teacher was the type to assign homework on the first day, due by Thursday, so he figured he might as well get a start on it since he wasn’t doing anything else, right?

  The first sign that he should’ve turned right back around and walked his happy ass out of there was the printer choosing the moment he walked in to whirr to life, scaring the absolute shit out of him. 

  “Jesus,” he hissed, jerking back a little, watching the little lights on the printer start blinking. It made a bunch of clicking noises, as printers do, before spitting out a single sheet of paper and then shutting off again. 

  Jared blinked, glancing up. 

  ..well. It didn’t look like anyone else was here. 

  Maybe it was someone from, like, a nearby classroom that connected to the wrong printer? 

  He couldn’t tell you why he felt the need to pick up the paper to see what it was. 

  Cue the second sign that he shouldn’t be in here.

  …

  dear connor murphy,

stop killing yourself stopstop stop that’s why i can’t get OUT of here, it keeps repeating and i ca nt get it to stop and its your fault it has to be what else could it fucking be???

just don’t!! and stay away from me!!! 

i dont know what else to try anymore i thin/k this might be pointless 

writing the letter doesn’t help and not writing the letter doesnt help i dont know how tto help you you wont LISTEn when i try to explain it t o you or talk you down i just want you out of my life and i want out of THIS for fucks saake 

i dont know why you’d think this but if you’re connor’s parents he didn’t write this letter, ple ase leave me alone please stay away from me 

sincerely,  me

... 

Oookay. Alright. Awesome. That’s not fucking terrifying or ominous at all. 

  Someone making fun of Connor Murphy wasn’t anything new at all, but.. this was on a whole other fucking level, right? What the fuck was going on? 

  “..Jared?!” 

  Cue his second almost heart attack. 

  Jared flinched back, eyes immediately snapping up to the source of the voice. It had sounded familiar the moment he registered someone else was speaking to him, and sure enough, upon looking up, it was, in fact, Evan. 

  “Jesus fucking Christ, dude, you can’t sneak up on people like that,” Jared snapped, the free hand not holding the piece of paper moving to rest over his heart. It’s thudding like fucking crazy in there, if just hearing it in his ears wasn’t telling enough. 

  When Evan doesn’t say anything, Jared takes a moment to actually look at him, look back at the wildly terrified eyes staring back at him, and..

  There’s kind of a lot to take in. 

  Namely, the fact that Evan’s arm is in a cast, and that it looks like he hasn’t slept in days. His typical anxious energy has been replaced with, like, this crazed hysterical panic, because the second-hand feel Jared is getting off of him is, like, scaring him. A lot. 

  There’s dark circles under his eyes. And he’s shaking badly, like Jared had been the one to almost give him heart failure in the middle of the computer lab. 

  “What’s wrong with you?” Jared manages, trying to mask the unease settling over every inch of him. 

  Evan blinks hard, eyes flickering from Jared, and then to the paper in Jared’s hand. 

  “I.. did you get that from..?” Evan completely ignores the question, twitchy eyes flicking up to the printer and then back to the page. 

  “I..” Jared glances down at the paper, and then warily back up to Evan. “This.. is this yours?” 

  Evan doesn’t respond verbally. He does, however, rip the paper out of Jared’s hands. 

  “What the fuck?!” Jared hisses, the quick action again scaring the shit out of him. He can’t even tell anymore if he’s being unnecessarily jumpy, but he’d like to say that all things considered it’s pretty fucking warranted. “Evan, what the hell is going on? What is that?” 

  “Don’t..” Evan starts to say, taking trembling steps back. He has no reason to look as horrified as Jared feels, panicked eyes looking back and forth between the paper and Jared. “I.. I don’t think this will.. it’ll.. change anything.. He’s not.. you’re..?” 

  He murmurs other shit too, under his breath. Jared can’t hear him. 

  Jared needs to get out of here, literally every nerve in his body is screaming at him to run, but at the same time he knows that he has no reason to be scared of Evan, it’s fucking Evan. 

  Right? 

  “Evan?” Jared tries again, taking a very hesitant step forward. 

  Evan must have decided on something, because his wide eyes suddenly snap back up to Jared and stay there. “Do not tell anyone you saw this,” he says, voice low. 

  “What are you fucking talking about, dude—?!”

  Evan shoves past Jared, the computer lab door slamming shut behind him a few seconds later.

#bandtrees #garbage.txt #betad uhhh once so i apologize for any typoz #also i kNOW THIS ISNT TOO DARK just like kind of unsettling but #i was really blanking on this one im sorry :pensive: #i write things #ollie tag #evan hansen #jared kleinman #connor murphy #tw suicide mention #ask to tag

[pandastern]

Gravity (Bakugou x OC)

Part 9: Get Well Cards

If youd like to be added to the taglist for upcoming parts please dm me :)

Bakugou x Vigilante!OC

Warnings: angst, explicit language, violence

Word count:   2255

Genre: enemies to lovers ; angst ; romance, slow burn

When a new student makes an entrance, Bakugou has a real bad feeling. There is something about this girl that just doesnt feel right. From the flaming hair to the calculating glint in her green eyes, everything about her just pisses him off.

Little does he know that his fate is intertwined with the person he despises so much, defining his future path in a way he would have never expected

When Artemis awoke, she was only slightly surprised to find herself in the hospital ward still. How long had she been out of it for? She couldn’t tell anymore. Her dreams had remained unforgiving, making her wake up sweat soaked and screaming. The images of the facility and what had happened in USJ had somehow merged in her head into a cocktail of terror, making it impossible for her to lower her own adrenaline levels and relax.

Closing her eyes, Artemis forced herself to breathe deeply. She needed to calm down and focus on reality. After all, couldn’t forget the reason why she’d come to UA in the first place.

The sound of an opening door caught her attention and made her turn towards her new visitor.

“Ah, you’re finally awake, darling,” said a tiny old lady wearing a hero costume and a big smile. Recovery Girl, Artemis guessed. So, she was in fact not in the city hospital, but the school medical wing. Made sense.

“How do you feel?”

Tired. Hurt. Exhausted.

“I’m fine… How long was I out for?” Artemis sat up, unable to stop herself from flinching as a sharp pain shot through her back.

“Three days.” Recovery Girl eyed her carefully before pulling a chair up to her bedside. “You only just escaped death, my dear. It was a terrible incident.”

Artemis’s face betrayed nothing as she stared at her hands. A terrible incident? Is that what they were calling it? Of course. They had to keep face somehow. 

“You’ll be glad to hear that except for you, your classmate Midoriya and your teachers Aizawa and Thirteen, no-one has been injured. You were especially lucky. If the knife had been just a little deeper, it would have punctured your kidney and you would have bled out. It’s a miracle that you were able to fight so long with that kind of wound.”

Artemis swallowed. It had been that bad, huh? She could see the concern in the old lady’s eyes. A miracle... Artemis scoffed silently. No, not a miracle. Just the result of a lifetime of arduous and gruesome training. No matter how hard the fight, her own safety had never mattered. Only the result. Not that Recovery Girl would understand that.

Besides, what other choice did she have? Lie down and wait for death? Rely on others to protect her? No-one had ever protected her from anything.

“Will there be long-term consequences to this wound?” Artemis asked dryly.

She detected a hint of pity in Recovery Girl’s eyes, like she was a child that needed comfort. But Artemis didn’t need sympathy. She wasn’t a child, and she certainly wasn’t about to allow herself to be coddled.

“I was able to heal the wound in your back, but the poison is another story,” said Recovery Girl with a deep sigh. “I wasn’t able to stop the scarring because the poison had already infected the tissue around the wound. The poison itself was rather strong, so I’m afraid it’s going to take a while for your body to fight it off completely. However, I’m confident that you’ll make a full recovery. You just have to take it easy for a while.”

That made sense, Artemis thought. By controlling her own bloodflow, she’d allowed the poison to spread through her body way faster than it normally would have. She groaned and rubbed her eyes.

“So, I have to take it easy for the next couple of days?” she asked

“More like the next couple of weeks.”

“What?!”

Recovery Girl gave Artemis a scolding look. “You escaped death by only a hair’s breadth! Do you really expect to be up and running as normal in just a few days? The only reason we got to you so fast was because of the young boy, Bakugou, who carried you to the medics as soon as he arrived back at the USJ.”

Artemis’s heart jumped. He’d really carried her through the entire facility like that? Most of her memories of that time were so foggy, and yet there were a few details she remembered vividly that haunted like already nightmare-filled dreams.

The fear in his eyes as he’d held her close, like she was made of glass and could burst at any moment. The desperation in his voice, begging her to stay conscious. Artemis couldn’t work out why he’d done that for her. No-one had ever cared about her like that before. Why would anyone ever think her life was important? So long as the job got done, why did it matter?

Recovery Girl cleared her throat, pulling Artemis out of her thoughts.

“Speaking of your friends,” said the old lady in a softer tone, “it seems you gave all of them quite a scare. They came here to visit while you were still sleeping, so I told them to leave the get well cards on your night stand.”

That made Artemis perk up. “Friends?” she asked in confusion. “Get well cards?”

Turning slightly, Artemis spotted a collection of cards and even a basket full of snacks and flowers.

“What on earth?” she mumbled, picking up one of the cards and opening it to find a pretty handwritten note signed from Uraraka. The next one was from Midorya. There were others from Iida, Kirishima, Sero and even Kaminari. All of her classmates had taken the time to write a little something for her, wishing her a swift recovery.

Artemis wasn’t sure how to feel about this. They barely knew her. Why would they take the time to do such a thing?

“You look confused, darling.” Recovery Girl laughed softly. “Aren’t you happy that your friends have been thinking of you?”

Staring at the hero in front of her, Artemis blinked and looked over the cards again. “I wasn’t even aware that I had friends. Why would they give me all this stuff?”

Recovery Girl stared at her, a little bewildered. She chuckled softly. “Oh, silly girl. It’s because they’re your friends and worried about your wellbeing, of course!”

After a few more tests, Recovery Girl left Artemis alone to pack up. Despite the old lady’s concern, she’d insisted she be discharged early so she could go back to class. Artemis hated hospitals. They always reminded her of that god forsaken shithole she’d crawled out of. 

So, after she’d been forced to promise not to partake in any kind of combat until she was completely healed, Artemis was released. After she’d put her few belongings into her backpack, she emptied the basket her friends had brought her. She still couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about. She’d only exchanged a few words with most of her classmates so far. So why had they gone through this trouble? It was a weird thought.

While sorting through the gifts, Artemis noticed a small balled up piece of paper that had fallen to the ground. It looked like a page ripped out of a notebook.

Slowly, she leaned down, pick it up and unfurled it. The words that stared up at her were written in a messy scrawl.

Don’t fucking die.

Several other things had been scribbled across the paper, but whoever had written them had scratched them out so aggressively she couldn’t even begin to read what they said.

The three simple words screamed ‘Bakugou’, but she quickly put that thought out of her head. There was no way he’d write her a note, was there? Then again, he’d said those same words while carrying her through the USJ…

Again, her heart jumped in a way she couldn’t explain.

If Artemis thought the get well cards were confusing, then she was not prepared for the reaction of her classmates when she showed up for the next class.

The moment she entered the room, the whole class swarmed her, asking her how she felt and if she was okay. Kaminari even tried to take her backpack from her, though she quickly refused him.

It took a lot out of Artemis to smile and entertain her classmates’ concerns, trying her best not to look uncomfortable. She didn’t know how to handle this kind of attention and a part of her regretted having not gone straight home.

The class finally quieted down when a heavily bandaged Aizawa showed up. Artemis couldn’t believe that this man had dragged his arse to school, despite looking barely held together by a few stitches. So, 

Recovery Girl hadn’t joked around when she’d said that her teachers had gotten it bad, though she couldn’t help but respect his dedication to his work. 

Walking to her seat, she noticed a pair of eyes following her through the room. Bakugou was the only one who hadn’t come up to greet her. He sat at the back, his feet kicked up on his desk, watching her.

In any other circumstance, Artemis would have thrown a snarky remark his way, but something inside stopped her. If what Recovery Girl had told her was true, then she owed him one. Not to mention that note…

Raising her hand, she awkwardly waved at him. He scoffed and looked away.

Artemis took her seat and kept her eye facing the front. So, he was back to sulking again. Fine. She knew they’d been forced to cooperate at the USJ, but she couldn’t help but feel… disappointed.

Aizawa took his place at his desk and started the lesson with his signature big sigh.

“All right class. In two weeks, the school will hold its annual sports festival. As you all know, this is a lifetime opportunity for all of you, so I expect you all to give your absolute best!” he said while flipping through some papers. “Many high-ranking heroes will be in attendance to scout out newcomers, so take this competition seriously.”

“Is that really a good idea? After all, we were just attacked by villains,” Kaminari blurted out. “What if it happens again?”

A wave of whispers swept through the class. Artemis couldn’t blame them. Such a spectacle involved them putting their skills out in the open for everyone to see. It was the perfect invitation for more trouble, sooner or later.

“There will be additional security for the whole event. Apparently, the school thinks it’s best to show off to prove these grounds are safe.”

Even Artemis was able to hear that scoff. Of course, UA would have that attitude. Who cared about kids getting attacked when your image was on the line, right?

For the rest of the class, she just zoned out. She didn’t particularly care for the sports festival, but she’d take part. After all, she needed to pass this school for her own reasons.

When everyone was finally dismissed and all her classmates started to pack up, chattering excitedly about the upcoming competition, Artemis could just think about getting some peace and quiet. Perhaps she’d go up to the rooftop and rest for a bit, far away from the eyes that kept looking her over with unnecessary concern.

She grabbed her stuff quickly and stood up, ready to sneak out before anyone could swoop in and ask her to lunch, but Aizawa stepped in front of her just before she reached the door.

“Ms Moon. I’d like a word with you.”

Of course. She felt her already-sour mood drop a few notches. Was he really going to lecture her about what had happened at the USJ when he himself looked like a poor excuse of a mummy?

“Of course, sir,” she said, crossing her arms. “What do you want to talk about?”

Once everyone else was gone, Aizawa sat down at his desk and looked up at her. His face was impassive behind his bandages, betraying nothing of what was to come next.

“I’ve read the report of the USJ incident. How are you feeling now?” he asked.

“I’m fine. There’s nothing to worry about,” said Artemis.

“I see. Recovery Girl is of the opinion that I should exclude you from the sports festival due to the injuries you’ve sustained,” said Aizawa. His eyes searched hers, though for what, she couldn’t tell.

Artemis grit her teeth. “There’s no need for that. I’m perfectly fine and don’t need special treatment. My injury’s almost healed. Besides, we still have two weeks left, right? I want to compete.”

“Well, you do seem pretty adamant,” Aizawa replied sceptically.

“I am. I don’t need to be coddled, Mr Aizawa. I think I’ve proven that I’m much tougher than I may look.”

All this fuss over a stab wound, Artemis though. All she wanted was be left alone to get on with her life. She didn’t need anyone to baby her.

Aizawa raised his eyebrows as he shuffled the papers on his desk. “All right, I’ll let you take part. However, I expect you to use these two weeks to recover. If I see any signs that you’re not up to giving one hundred percent, I will take you out of the festival. In the meantime, you are not to attend combat training classes, though I’ll allow you to watch. Is that clear?”

His words sounded final. Even if she’d wanted to, Artemis doubted she could change. Besides, she could always train in her own time. Nobody would be standing over her shoulder constantly, policing her movements like at school.

“I understand, sir.”

Aizawa tilted his chin up. “Good.”

Artemis turned to leave. She was yearning for some sort of peace and quiet… and perhaps a big can of energy drink, as well.

#gravity #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakugou x oc #bakugou x reader #mha fanfic #bnha fanfic #mha x oc #bnha x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[recordmcqueen]

hi hello rate these ships : boifang, kaifang, gofang, goboifang, boya, faya, fayi, yayi, kaiya, kaiboy, ramenzo you have to answer this one particular ship as 10/10 or ill steal yer knees and toes

O-O a-aight random stranger--

A+: OTP

A: I love it

B: It’s really cute

C: Not a bad ship

D: I’m neutral on it

E: I don’t really like it

F: NOTP

N/A: I don’t know the ship well enough

boifang: B bc fandom has kinda ruined it for me so i dont enjoy it as much as i once did :,)

kaifang: F- as a ship?? u gud??

gofang: A++ oh god i EAT this stuff for breakfast lunch n dinner mmm tbh theres only one other ship that im more invested in at the moment but heck if i see gopal n fang in the same image n dont start frothing-

goboifang: A+++++++++++ this ship is literal supremacy gebs can heck right off this is my food this is my home this is my LIFE and if it werent for That One Other Ship Which Dominates My Braincells At Present i’d probs be crankin out actual contents for my nonexistent fellow shippers //jkjk kamy ily where would i be without u oml

boya: D theres some cute art n stuff and i understand Why people ship it (spoiler alert: its not a very valid reason but who am i to stop them) but ehhhhh i dont Get it besides theyre top-notch mlm n wlw solidarity also the fandom is kinda scary to me ngl theyre very uhm Pure Innocent Fwuffy Beans UwU :,)

faya: N/A ive seen some art and it fills me with a sheer passivity it’s just hard to explain what i feel about it aside from I Dont Care

fayi: B theyve got some sweet dynamic there and while yayi n gbf supremacy im a multishipper at heart. although. the fandom depiction of the ship. is not remotely what i see when i ship them. way to disappoint me again fandom :,))

yayi: A oh god honestly im guilty of underappreciating these gals bc bren full of other ships oop but theYRE QUEENS OML SUCH A HECKIN POWER COUPLE AN FLIPFRACKIN CANON HNNNNNNN monsta had to nerf them bc their lesbian power made them too competent and bbb is supposed to be the main charac-

kaiya: N/A i dont think anyone seriously ships it? im prettyyyy sure all the arts r for like self-insert purposes bc im fairly certain kaizo doesnt even actually know yaya exists also. is there even a potential dynamic?? ive never thought about them for reasons that should be obvious FBI OPEN UP

kaiboy: D //long sigh okay dont get me wrong i do not Ship it although i know people who do and i know exactly where theyre coming from so do i See it? yes. do i Ship it? no siree FBI OPEN UP

ramenzo: A++ this is the only ship that gives me inspiration + motivation to write anything anymore and also the literal only valid kaizo ship (i mean aside from pirate bud but uh rip their relationship also i doubt anyone ships him with shieldblings but even thats a little hmmmmmmm nah for me) god i could go on a rant about how im partial to the rarepairs n get invested in characs who have oodles of unexplored potential (is that a pun? idk-) but i barely have the coherence for that so just hnnn THEM //squawking flappy noises

tho imma say gofang n ramenzo r on the same lvl just bc of personal petty reasons (I Dont. Like. The Blue Bird.) otherwise ramenzo would probs be higher (zero disrespect for gofang tolerated i just prefer to include the Smol Orange yknow) but yeye

love how you refused to acknowledge the existence of boicest shippers hahshshsh the fandom is qUAKING also u didnt mention any sai ships im :/ but issokie anyway STAN THE ULTIMATE SHIP AYU YU X KIKI TA (no this still isnt That One Ship That Im Obsessed With but its a good frickin ship >:v)

conclusion: fandom stop latching onto selfcest/ships with weird age gap/ships that r gopalphobic and start respecting the real legends in this house of fanimonsta SMH

#allya answers #tanks for de azk #i probs neglected to include a whole bunch of Thoughts bc i was squawking whatever came to mind #but u know it b like dat sometimes #whew uh #bbb #shippy tings #all the opinions #idk what to tag lmao #guess its time to hit post n let dutch shoe candy have their uhh snacks? #this isnt food this is just meta so is it like drinks then? #have a fresh glass of Juice uwu #Juicy Opinions hehe #aight aight me posty now #Anonymous #allya squawks

[sweetescapeartist]

Since there is barely anybody that looks at this blog now, imma say some things now that I'll reveal later on Twitter (maybe). Also this is gonna be a long read so you can read if you wanna or not. Its kinda a rant.

I started this blog because I liked Dragon Ball and wanted to share my ideas and things I liked with other fans. I enjoyed that. Krillin is my favorite character so I wanted to show him some love & maybe get more ppl to like him. Then eventually I started drawing nsfw art.

I began doing so because there's a great lack of Krillin positive nsfw art. Eventually on my Twitter, I gathered a following that like to see Krillin getting some love. I also went from sfw with my OC Tobi to drawing nsfw. The problem I have with both is that I don't have time as much to draw what is like to. Nor do I care as much for nsfw art.

So this is what I'm trying to say. I have other things I want to do. I draw for free and accept some requests. I'm not getting paid and I feel like I'm wasting my time somewhat. The positive is that more ppl have come to like Krillin and hopefully more will later. There aren't a lot of nsfw artist that promote Krillin. Its all about Saiyans and I understand why. I like Saiyans too. But its always at the expense of human characters that I like especially Krillin.

"Vegeta got beat up by 18 so he deserves to dick her down"

"18 should be with anyone else but Krillin. She should be with a Saiyan."

I'm seriously tired of it, ya know? Its just such negativity. I've tried to combat it with positivity and that does work but that's not what most ppl seem to care about or see. Krillin means a lot to many of us. Yes, we know he's a fictional character but he's someone we can latch on to and see ourselves in. How he constantly tries hard and doesnt give up despite having low self-esteem. He is very relatable and an encouraging character. So understand that it frustrates me and others when ppl keep making fun of a character we love just because of memes that are very innacurate, he's short, he's married to what most of the fandom consider the most attractive female in the series (so they're jealous of him to an extent), or when ppl downright degrade his character.

Why? Why treat a positive character so negatively? Ppl make fun of Krillin because he has PTSD but won't make fun of Future Trunks. They trash his marriage and make it seem as if 18 doesn't care for him because he has the most stable marriage in the series. They call his daughter an ugly troll but want to see her in hentai with some Saiyan. Such hypocrisy. That's why I've drawn some of the things I have.

There are drawings I've done that I haven't posted because they are so disrespectful to characters like Vegeta or Gohan. And I love Gohan so that's a reason why I never posted them. I'm a positive person but it seems many ppl only respond to negative. So here's what I've done/plan to do.

I have some comics planned to draw along with some pictures. The pictures vary on what they will be, but the comics... Here's what they are.

I will be making NTR comics starring Krillin but he is the main character. There are too many of him being portrayed as a wimp or punk that lets everybody get with 18 besides himself. Or its done behind his back. So I'm going to have Krillin taking other character's ladies from them. Yeah its negative in a way but also positive for Krillin. Maybe this can get the point across to ppl? Idk.

But I will make a comic where Krillin gets Videl, Bulma, & Chichi. I will make others where he gets into "situations" with characters like Kale & Caulifla, Cheelai, & others. I also plan to make a comic about Roshi basically being cucked by Krillin (you'll have to wait and see to understand that one). So that's what I have planned. Hentai comics with Krillin as the lead. Its unpopular and that is why I do it.

I'll make other more positive comics too. Like a comic about Krillin getting advice then marrying 18. Ill draw stories with my OC Tobi as he lives with Krillin and his family & dates Marron. It will focus on the Chestnut family and have father/son moments with Krillin & Tobi. And ill introduce other characters too.

But here's the big thing that contradicts everything I said prior. I don't want to draw DB anymore. The fan base has kinda wore me out but so has the direction the series has gone. In bored of the writing for DBS and it being solely about Goku & Vegeta when there are other characters like Gohan & Piccolo. Its a fighting anime so why would we only want to see 2 characters? God ki was introduced so that's an easy way for everyone to get stronger and involved. But its too corporate now and lazy. And the DBS manga... so terrible. Toyotaro is a much better artist than I am and not to talk bad about him but I think DragonGarowLee is much better for the position that Toyo. DGL knows how to choreograph fights better and understands Toriyama's comedy better. Toyo doesn't know how to write the characters. He makes Goku an uncaring idiot, makes Vegeta a poorly written Goku clone, makes fun of Krillin for no reason except he doesn't like him (seriously! He has called him ugly, weak, scared, useless, & had ppl like Goku and Roshi insult Krillin. Wtf?!), he doesnt know how to create a unique character without ripping off a character Tori has done much better. And the fanboys (& girls)

Gosh! The Vegeta fans are great but they can be crazy sometimes. They ignore all the evil Vegeta has done and ignore his flaws as if he's a perfect angel. Vegeta's flaws is what makes him such an interesting character! And him being different than Goku is a good thing. But there's a weird and false understanding of his character. "Vegeta is a better dad than Goku" sure. Vegeta just knocked up Bulma then left her as. Single mother and didn't care if she or his infant son died, never hugged his son until he was 10+ yrs old & didn't love Bulma until sometime during the 7 yr time skip. He was a terrible person in a terrible relationship! THEN he became a better person and actually loving to his family. That change is what make Vegeta great. Not his power level or how many kills he has or "cool moments."

That same twisted misunderstanding of Vegeta is similar to the misunderstanding of Krillin. Ppl think he's weak and a coward. But he fights aliens & beings stronger than him and even injures stronger opponents. He smiles in the face of danger and even gets excited during fights but is smart enough not to risk others lives. Krillin nearly killed Nappa, he would've finished Vegeta with the Spirit Bomb if Yajirobe didn't alert Vegeta that Krillin was attacking him, smart enough not to fight on Namek when they're outnumbered, took on aliens stronger than him, outsmarted them & escaped, protected both Gohan & Bulma, more skilled than Ginyu when he was in Goku's body, sacrificed his safety for others like Dende & Gohan, (for real tho, Vegeta didn't see 2nd form Freeza move but Krillin was fast enough to throw Dende out of the way and sacrifice his life. Krillin saw Freeza attacking and Vegeta who is supposed to be stronger did not see Freeza move!), he was the first person to actually damage Freeza and then taunted the Emperor of the Universe, he's always there for his friends, knew better than everybody else that if the androids defeated Vegeta & Trunks then he shouldn't get involved. He saved 18 who was innocent in this timeline, helped 16, wished for the bombs out of 17 & 18 so they could live normally. Then fast forward to DBS he fought to protect his family & planet & 18 calls him "cool", he conquers his PTSD and gained new power he always had but laid dormant, he defeated someone who actually hurt 18. & there are things he's done I didn't even mention.

And ppl constantly saying Goku is a bad dad. He's waaaaaaaay better of a father compared to Vegeta if were being honest.

I guess I've seen a lot of the negative side of the fandom and its disappointing. So I'm at a point where I kinda don't care. I'll make my comics but after I'm done with what I have planned, I'm just done with DB. I won't stop drawing entirely but I won't draw any requests unless I feel like it, I won't keep up with much DB news and content. I just want to come back to Tumblr, draw Krillin fanart, draw Tobi, write some rewrites, draw Tobi's story & that's it. Ill be a part of Chestnut Fest every year tho. That is one of the greatest things to come out of my time on Tumblr & Twitter. So big thanks to @chestnutisland!

But basically I'm tired of the fandom and I still enjoy parts of it but I want to do my own thing. So I'll partially be a part of the DB fandom but not in it too deep. Look forward to what I have in store. If some of my future content isn't to your liking, hopefully you ccan find something else I've done that you'll enjoy. But its still been fun & I've enjoyed the ppl I've talked too & friends I've made.

#my thoughts #dragon ball #dragon ball z #dragon ball super #rant #krillin #comics #my plans

[the-gay-cryptid]

Okay, I'm super pissed right now and I dont want to bother my friends with this, theyve got shit of their own, I just need to get the angry out of my system.

I want to shave my head. I want to because it would give me a feeling of control and it's the much safer, less permanent, and less painful of my three options: shave head, get piercing, get tattoo. Since whatever I picked would be self done, I naturally went with shaving my head.

I'm no fucking idiot though, I've done my research. I know that, because of my hair type and my own preferences, I dont want it too short. I would first get a #8 attachment, which it the longest you can get. That's what I would use. I looked up a video of someone comparing the lengths of each attachment when actually used on hair, so I have a better idea of what it would actually look like since I'm not good at visualizing lengths.

I was going to tell my mom all this, show her that this isnt a sudden decision, and that I've actually done research and know what to do/expect. It was still entirely possible she'd say no, but this approach was my best chance to convince her.

I told me dad this morning, "I want to shave my head. I think I'd have to order attachments since your clippers are too short, but its definitely doable." I said it this way because I've never had to prove to my dad that I know what I'm doing, like I'm writing a damn research paper.

He wasnt a fan, because he thinks I'll look like a man. He doesnt want me to look too masculine. That's a problem to revisit at a later time. I pointed out that I already look like a boy when I wear hats, my hair grows out fast, and that how he wants me to look isnt my problem. He conceded to all three points, though he still wasnt a fan. He wouldnt stop me, but we both knew I had to convince mom before I even picked up the clippers.

Mom came in, and we said good morning and so on. Then Dad says "she wants to shave her head." Which was the absolute worst possible way to introduce that to my mother.

To her credit, she handled it well. She said she didnt think it would suit my head shape, but if I wanted to I couldn't but if I did it she wasnt going to pay for my hair appointments anymore, even if I grew my hair out again. I wouldnt really mind paying for my own cuts and colors, it's just that it's kinda expensive and I have 10$ and no income until August assuming we're back on campus next semester. I figured I'd think about it.

I took a shower, did makeup, and finished making some earrings I started last night. Then I went to show my parents, because i was proud and I thought they looked cool.

Dad loved them, mom definitely thought they were tacky, but I'm used to that and she's given up trying to convince me that tacky jewelry is bad.

She was making a face that screamed "not a fan", and I asked her why she was making said face. I expected a comment about how people would judge me, and I was totally emotionally prepared for that and ready to let it roll off. But instead, she says

"This doesn't seem like a good use of your time. I just dont feel like enough work is getting done"

I dont know if any of you know this about me, but I'm very sensitive about my work ethic. I've had problems in the past, but I've worked fucking hard to learn the self discipline and time management I have today. It's not perfect, but I'm better than I was. So when people imply that I'm not doing enough, or I'm lazy, or that I'm wasting my time instead of working, I take it a little harder than most.

I didnt linger, because it wouldnt help anyone. I just left and waited in the kitchen to vent to my dad.

"I just wanted to show her something cool." I said. I kept my voice low, because mom has a habit of walking in when I'm venting about her and then getting overly offended and turning it into me being disrespectful. "And she just ignored it-" at which point my dad cut me off. He doesnt like when I complain about mom. He doesnt like the confrontation that occurs if she over hears, and he doesnt like seeing her upset that her kid is implying shes a bad mom. She isnt, but she's not perfect, and as a grown ass woman who lectures me about the same flaw, she should be able to take criticism.

I'm still a bit pissed, so I just grabbed my laptop and went upstairs to do schoolwork. I dont have much to do, since, contrary to my mother's suggestion, I'm very on top of my work, and even ahead on some of it.

Just now, I went down stairs to take a break and grab my house shoes. I talked to my dad a little bit about some netflix shows. Then, because I thought maybe I could sway him a little, I showed him the video of someone comparing all the attachments and how short they actually cut.

I also pointed out that mom wouldve reacted better if hed let me explain what I wanted. He disagreed, so I told him how I'd present the idea:

"I have something I want to do, and I've done a lot of research, so I understand what to do, what I'd need, and how to do it the way I have in mind. I'd like to shave my head, not super short though. I'd use the longest attachment..." et cetera, et cetera.

Basically I'd just prove to her this wasnt decided on a whim. And then I'd ask her opinion. She'd hate it, but at least she'd probably consider it. Even Dad admitted it might have worked.

I started telling him why I wanted to do it, the whole needing to feel in control thing. But he was putting away clothes and heading his and Moms room, and if mom heard me talking through all this she'd get mad and double down on the "fuck no" stance. So I dropped it for now.

But then my dad thought hed be real fucking funny. I was standing in the bathroom with him, and he turned on his clippers and started to reach for my hair. I grabbed his arm to stop him. I knew he was joking, it was just my knee jerk reaction since his clippers have NO attachment and would actually buzz my head completely.

He then said, very smugly, that that's the reaction of someone who doesn't actually want to shave their head. I told him that wasnt funny, and started to explain that I stopped him because it wouldve been the wrong length.

But mom, being in the bedroom right fucking next to us, got PISSED. She then informed us, mainly me, that I wasnt allowed to shave my head, and that she'd be so furious if I did it. And now i was mad with both of my parents.

Since I couldnt be delicate about it anymore, I told her point blank the whole conversation this morning wouldve gone better if dad hadnt said anything, and that I was going to actually explain myself before telling her I wanted to shave my head.

She listened to my whole explanation. I'll give her that. But when I finished, she just hummed and went back to her work. Which is mom for "fuck no, and this is a stupid idea."

As all conversations with my mother inevitably go, I went to the kitchen to talk to dad. I told him he shouldnt have done any of that, and that now, because of him goofing off, mom wasnt taking anything of said seriously.

He told me he was sorry he did that, but that he didn't want me to do it anyway. I reminded him, in far less polite terms than usual, that I dont care what he thinks and that it's my hair and my choice.

He agreed and apologized again, still just as insincere.

Since I didnt have the patience or calmness to try and talk about it further, I went back upstairs. I heard him calling me a little bit ago, probably to talk again, but I'm still fucking angry.

Because of him not only taking away my ability to bring this up with my mom on my own terms, and then ruining any chances of her taking me seriously, theres no way in hell I'm going to be able to do what I wanted. I know shaving my head isnt that big of a deal, but the amount of bullshit its brought out of them both is infuriating.

If he'd just kept his fucking mouth shut this morning, all this could've gone so much better.

#im just mad #and i dont want to bother my froends #and i cant vent to my parents for obvious reasons #and my brother's at work #so its all fucking pent up with nowhere to go #so im putting it here #my post #ranting #venting

[thefeckisthis]

being single and open relationship

hellooo lovely people. hope you are all well, sane and well fed. lately i did not write quite often, been reading a lot and gaming. life is not particularly interesting so there is not much going on.

even tho these are different times people still talk, chat and i’ve seen many guys making statuses how girls are not posting selfies now all the beauty salons are closed, making fun of them. well there are not many of you fuck boys around anymore either eh, hard to make some effort when you can’t ‘’score’’ and disappear? or you’re stuck with your girlfriends so its harder?

leave the girls alone, live your own life and mind your own business. even tho the number of fuck boys has drastically dropped, there are still people who make some effort and talk to other people. i’m not saying this only happened to me in the past few months, people keep asking me this all the time.

so why am i single?

im not super young anymore, im in that age where most of my generation is already married and are having their first or even second kid. not me tho, thank you but i’ll pass.

guys usually ask ‘’how can girl like you be single?’’... may i ask you, what kind of girl is that? i know they usually refer to the thing that im beautiful or good looking (in their words not mine) and i keep wondering what does someones looks have to do with someone being single or in relationship? does that mean everyone who is in relationships is beautiful or if youre beautiful you have to be in a relationship? someone please enlighten me. thank you.

on the other hand, some people think i still love some certain people and haven’t moved on emotionally and things like that and that is so not true. i dont have any ‘leftover’ feelings for anyone and i dont like anyone romantically at the moment (and on daily basis i dont like people in general, thats another story tho haha). someone being single for long time doesnt mean they cant get over someone from their past. i kind of pride myself on getting over people quicker than most people, that doesnt mean i cant develop feelings. i can, im just way more careful with that. also, that doesnt mean i never truly liked them (havent loved anyone in a very long time hahaha) its just i dont tend to dwell on it for long. that person is not in my life anymore, why would i spend more time thinking about them when it wont affect my present?

i close that chapter in my life and just move on. not meaning for it to sound as a sob story or trying to make people feel pity for me, every time i have had started to develop some feelings for someone it backfired. made me develop trust issues and i openly admit it. and every time it backfires at me it makes it slightly worse and worse and leaves scars and honestly makes me regret ever developing any feelings. it all developed in like a defense mechanism making me want to do it again less and less.

as ive said, this is not a sob story and im not looking for people to feel sad about me. that is definitely not the only reason why im single but it is a part of it.

i chose to be single. i love being single. i have grown to love myself so much that i dont require to be in a relationship to feel fulfilled or to feel ‘’whole’’. if you find someone you fall in love with that person should not be your second half because you are one whole on your own, that other person should be a beautiful addition to your life, not someone to fill in the gaps. and if you break up you should still be able to feel complete and happy. dont think i am in celibate or i dont meet people when im single. the amount of people thinking if youre single youre not having sex is ridiculous. like seriously people, it 2020, you dont have to get into relationship just to have sex. to think that in this era of fuckboys, internet dating and all that crap... cmon like

explanation is not my strong side so im sorry if i dont fully explain something. relationships and feelings for me are... good and bad. i like them and i dont like them. to me the concept of traditional relationship is like a cage. i dont have freedom (at least not the way i want) that i want, and all the ‘’obligations’’ (cant remember the term that would better explain it). sure, when you like/love someone you usually talk all the time, tell them what you do, where you go, but as an introvert sometimes i just want to shut the whole world out and be left alone for more than a day if that is how i feel. by nature im curious and love to explore, whether it is myself or the world around me and the traditional relationship ‘’wouldn’t allow’ that, its looked down on. why do you want to try something new if you already, lets put it this way, have someone by your side?

but like yes, surely that person can fulfill me both physically and emotionally, what if someone can add to it in a different way, why would i deny myself of that pleasure?

open relationship is something would be something that would be more of my liking. do i believe it is possible to love one person fully and still want to try something with other person? definitely yes.  it would start probably as exclusive until the mutual trust and understanding is achieved then we can add to it. and yes, its adding to what we already have, not replacing, not changing, not cheating - adding. that absolutely doesnt mean that the main partner is not enough, its just expanding the current experience. i was in a serious relationship where i loved the person so much and i did mention the possibility of open relationship and it wasnt accepted well and no judgement, it is not for everyone, we all dont seek for same things.

humans are creatures with needs and i believe that satisfaction can come from different people in different ways and that doesnt diminish the value of primary partner. rather than always feeling caged and limited,‘’scared’’  and suppressing your needs, you get the freedom to explore, to broaden your horizons. open relationship is not same as cheating  as long as both partners are aware of the nature of the relationship and mutually agree on that, at the end of the day you always end up with them.

dont get me wrong, im not out there actively looking for relationship, im just living in the moment. those kind of things happen on their own and should not be forced, and now days anything that is not according to some standard norms is looked down on. as well, i am perfectly happy on my own, i chose to be single and im loving it. im the main person for myself, i love myself and i am thriving. absolutely enjoying my life.

i dont feel sad or lonely or of any less value than your average person just because im single, not at all. this also made me selfish in a way, i want all the experiences for myself and my enjoyment and i dont want to limit them to make someone else happy or secure.

there are of course more reasons than these mentioned, if youre curious please do leave a question, dont be afraid! :D (my priorities in life are usually not focused on finding a partner)

 if youre not happy on your own and with yourself, how are you happy in relationship? so dont go asking people why are they single and think they are sad because of it and feel sorry for them, people do not have same needs and wants in life like you do. at the end of the day, the person who you should be most mindful of is you, your thoughts and your life. make sure you are happy with yourself because that is the person you have to live with 24/7. and once you are happy with the person you are, then you wont have the need to ‘worry’ about the others,

#love #relationship #open relationship #happy #single #single life