#its weed ive decided | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cantdanceflynn · 3 months

Text

OBVIOUS NOTE OF "GUYS I HAVE THE MEDIA LITERACY NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS AND ISNT A PIECE OF MEDIA ADVOCATING FOR A BAD THING AND I KNOW WHAT BAD WRITING AND PACING IS" BUT LIKE. *JAZZ HANDS* THIS IS GONNA BE ON MY OWN TIME AND SHIT N READ THE REST OF THE POST AND BLOCK ME IF NEED BE BUT IM GONNA BE AT SOME POINT WATCHING THE H*LLAVERSE AND D*MP(CENSORED TO LEAVE THIS OUT OF SEARCHES SORRY)

ALSO IM MAKING THIS CLEAR BC IK IVE BEEN VAGUE ABOUT IT BEFORE AND I DONT WANT ANY EXTRA HARASSMENT OR FOR ANYONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT TO TAKE ISSUES. UH BC IVE BEEN ON THE FENCE BOUT IT IM JUST MAKING THE CHOICE NOW. NO MORE DOUBLE GUESSING STUFF I WANT TO WATCH FEHFBSFBSSFB IF ITS BAD ITS BAD AND ILL PIRATE IT ANYWAYS AND IF IT DOESNT DESERVE ANY ATTENTION IT SURE AS HELL WONT GET IT FROM ME BUT I FIGURE THIS IS JUST. A BETTER CHOICE FOR ME TO STOP GUILTING MYSELF WHICH HAS JUST BEEN A HORRIBLE THING WHENEVER I SEE ANYTHING I WANT TO AT LEAST CHECK OUT AND IM SICK AND TIRED OF PUTTING SOME PEOPLE IVE TALKED TO TWICE OVER MY OWN HEALTH IN THE WEIRD ASS GUILT TRAUMA SPIRALS I KEEP FORCING MYSELF INTO

SO THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY POST ON THIS TOPIC IM MAKING BC IVE BEEN SO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN "MAN THIS IS GREAT FOR ME" AND "OH GOD THE TRAUMA" LOL

BASICALLY THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING AND MAYBE THISLL BE LIKE THE HORROR THING WHERE I RLY LIKE IT AND I TRY TO HOLD BACK BOUT IT BUT END UP OBSESSED BUT MORE LIKELY THAN NOT THIS IS JUST GONNA BE A HEADSUP FOR ANYONE UNCOMFORTABLE W LIKE THE TWO BIGGEST TARGETS FOR "IRREDEEMABLE MEDIA" BC ITS LIKE. VERY FAIR TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE W EM AND I DONT BLAME U AT ALL SO I WANT TO MAKE SURE UR WARNED

REPETITIVE POST IK AND IF YOU ARE LIKE. MY FRIEND FRIEND AND YOU DONT WANT ME TO LET ME KNOW AND IF I RB ANYTHING IT WILL BE TAGGED AND EVERY SINGLE DISCLAIMER I JUST. WANT TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW AND IM CLEAR ABOUT THIS FOR EVERYONES SAFETY, EVEN IF ITS SOMETHING SMALL LIKE THIS. MY APOLOGIES AGAIN, SERIOUSLY IF YOU ARE LIKE. A FRIEND FRIEND I WILL TAKE UR OPINION ON THIS DW

#THIS ISNT GONNA APPLY TO LIKE. SOUTH PARK OR HARRY POTTER OR SOMETHING. BUT LIKE. AND TLDR THIS IS JUST ME HAVING HISTORY W MEDIA #BUT ITS IN A ''BAD PEOPLE ARE THE MAIN REASON I HAVE THE PASSIONS THAT I HAVE AND WANT TO ANIMATE AND ENJOY WHAT I ENJOY #AND I WANT TO AT LEAST DECIDE FOR MYSELF IF ALL THEYVE DONE IS AS BAD AS PEOPLE SAY BC IK THEYRE THAT BAD BUT I WANT TO AT LEAST SEE WHERE #THAT PASSION WENT TO AND IF NOTHING ELSE MAYBE ALL THE MEANSPIRITED POSTS WILL BE RIGHT AND ITLL BE FUN TO LAUGH AT. AND IM SURE THERES #STUFF THATS SHITTY IN THERE. I KNOW THERE IS IN FACT. BUT I DUNNO IM TIRED OF BEING TOLD HOW BAD EVERYTHING IS FROM FUCKING HOMESTUCK FANS #LIKE BUDDY IM NOT NEW TO THIS IK THERES WORSE SHIT IN OUR WEBCOMIC. I SEE SOME OF U RBING SOUTH PARK STUFF AND THEN DECIDING THATS #TOO INTENSE AND I DUNNO MAN MAYBE ITS ALL PERSPECTIVE MAYBE IM JUST TIRED OF BEING A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COWARD ABOUT EVERYTHING #BUT POINT IS FUCK EVERYONE WHO WAS A JERK BOUT IT IM GONNA BE WATCHING THAT SHIT ON MY OWN TIME AND IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE UR BUSINESS #SO DONT MAKE YOUR DEATH THREATS MY BUSINESS'' WAY #AND MAYBE THATS ALL NONSENSE AND SHIT BUT THIS IS YEARS COMING AND IVE DECIDED IM WEEDING OUT THE ASSHOLES #AND IK I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF THIS MUCH BUT MAN I AM TERRIFIED OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD. ANYWAYS. 👍. ✌.

3 notes · View notes

grlmoon · 4 months

Text

smoking a bowl for the first time in 5ever UGH i love bongs…

#ive been prone to wax & carts bc its cold !!#but miss sun decided to show her face and is graciously warming my skin :)#tolatsija speaks #weed

1 note · View note

amndmirk · 2 years

Text

portfolio / art oriented account @weed-artblog

i have a fiverrr if you wanna get an art.

constantly too overwhelmed to sit and write down all the ships and fandoms im into so no. im weed herb?rain?👀. im a minor. a chaotic agender aroace icon

utdr+toh era

↓beloveds↓

#i thought i needed to pull this together. drafts but will edit with probably idk. some art of mine #weed lore #is this a moodboard kids im so old #no. its a genderboard. this is what my gender looks like. its green #ive decided to smash my whole spotify account there cuz nothing tells more abt me than the playlists i make lol #OK. I NEED TO FORCE MYSELF TO SLEEP NO TIME FOR ART ATTACHMENT ITS ONE AM BYE #Spotify #Youtube

17 notes · View notes

garlique · 3 months

Text

my tummy hurts so bad i hate traveling

#of course ive decided to figure my shit out in 2024 so of course i decided im no longer dependent on weed #so of course on my 6 day trip i brought NOTHING #eating has been fine back to being ravenous within two days #Sleeping However #(for those of yall in diff time zones its 1 am. i excused myself to bed at 10 pm.)#does not help that the airbnb my dad booked has the worlds Firmest Memory Foam Mattresses And Pillows #AND the bathroom set up is FUCKED for my bathroom anxiety which is great #tiny thin door goes directly from the bathroom to where my dad is sleeping and so of course #im incredibly anxious about having to pee in the night and waking him up #and when i get anxious i have to pee!!! perfect!!!#plus no sweet baby boy ethan here just my liberal centrist father and grandmother (thats generous)#and now my Fucking Tummy Hurts!!!#OH AND IVE HAD MY PERIOD THIS WHOLE TIME!!!! HELLO!!!!!#its okay tomorrow we go to natural history museum. i love natural history museum #and besides im so brave. im basically sugaring without the sugar because pretending to #care about my family is how i get my parents to send me exorbitant amounts of money #its reparations for all the trauma dw #speaking of the trauma my god the amount of repressing i havr to do here !!! we have to do !!! insane !!!#on the plane ride down here i imagined telling my father abt all the neglect #and today i verbatim said 'ya he was a rly good dad i was lucky to have him as a father'#see even now here im like TO BE FAIR like no girl. come on. bffr #anyway 3 days 5 hours til i leave 3 days 9 hours til im home #i can do anything for three days and we have fun plans i just am so fucking tired #i havent gotten more than 6 hours of sleep since i got here kmw #ok. time to go try to pee and then sleep and pray my tummy stops hurting pls

1 note · View note

isaacathom · 1 year

Text

i have so many vague and half-formed thoughts about my ocs in terms of small visual snippets and pieces of personality and i have basically no way to express any of it other than just like. rambling. at nothing and nowhere in particular. and sitting in my chair the way you do when youre in the car imagining an amv in your head to the song youre listening to. i dont even need the songs anyway sometimes the brain just goes brr. i went shopping earlier for light bulbs and spent the whole time thinking about a ttrpg oc who doesnt even have a campaign or anything hes just here to vibe in the mind palace

#anyway these thoughts brought to you by musing that florian is a very weird guy #in the sense that he loves small romantic gestures. and yet doesnt seem the romance in like. nature. in the stars #a party member made a dogshit flower crown for his crush and florian thought it was extremely sweet #but if he looks at the sky he feels like static. he doesnt get the vibe #a beautiful vista is just a fact to check off. it doesnt like. speak to his soul man #hes like. he finds beauty and romance in actions. in intent. but what intent is there is a forest or a river #an intent of a god or spirit? something so beyond and outside of him that he cant really comprehend it?#but the ramshackle hut built by a young lumberjack for his family? he gets that. that he understands #he understands the romance of what you do with your hands and your heart #theres no really coherent way to word any of that hence its in the fragmentary format of tags #its the kind of thing he could learn i think. i think florian could learn to find romance in the physical world #in the way trees bend in the breeze and the water wears down stones over years #but itd very much be something someone has to TEACH him. hed have to have a partner who found that sort of love #because i think he would try to learn. hes the kind of guy who would try to learn your interests i think #and would listen to you ramble about them and absorb like 25% of it #but its okay. because it just means you can talk more about it later :) and that makes you happy right?#anyway cool im now imagining florian in love and thats cool i cant do anything with this #also okay ive decided i think he could find the beauty in a tended garden as a gesture #but he would very much be like 'well. the flowers are nice i guess. but i love the care youve put into them #and the way youve clearly thought a lot about how to keep out the weeds. i think? augh'#does that make sense? its not the item as much as the idea of its creation #he is sentimental man. he still has a mask he got from zeke when he was like 18 dude. hes 34 #(when florian was 18. zeke was like. 10. im actually unclear on the age gap between my boys)

1 note · View note

a-sapphic-love · 3 months

Text

🎧- e.w mindbreak

summary: in which ellie gifts reader an odd pair of headphones, and weird things start to happen.

warnings: MDNI!!!!, dom!ellie, sub!reader, manipulation, smuttt, mindbreak, hypno, bdsm, smoking blunts/ weed use, freeuse, exhibitionism, probably more that i forgot to list

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

my first ellie fic- enjoy! (tips and such are appreciated)

you're at work one day, humming at your desk as you finish up a task when your coworker ellie comes up to you.

you both don't talk much, but she's always been nice to you. its kind of weird, since she's cold to your other coworkers, but you don't think too much of it.

"hey, i got these headphones and customized them for my friend, but it turns out she doesn't really use them. your old pair broke, right? so i guess you could have these." she says, smiling. such a sweet gesture!

"oh, thank you! ive been wanting a new pair!" you say, returning the warm smile, and ellie hands you a box with some black headphones on them.

you're surprised when you open the box to find pink headphones, and they seem to be a little modified. ellie is long gone so you can't really ask, but you assume it's because the headphones were supposed to be for a friend of hers.

you put the headphones on, and they fit comfortably, so you decide to just start using them. you play some music, but are confused to realize something's wrong. there's an odd frequency playing.

so you just play a different song, except you keep hearing that same frequency. you stop playing the music to see, and think everything's normal again until you listen close and the frequency is still there.

you were raised by a family that was against waste, so you decide to just suck it up and use the headphones anyway. plus, after wearing them for a few days, you find every time ellie sees you with the headphones on, she just looks so excited. probably just really happy to see you using her gift.

however, odd things begin to happen. suddenly, every time you see ellie your panties get all sticky and you just want to follow her around like a lost puppy.

plus, you're getting worse and worse at your job. you start to forget things, or just simply ignore them. because now, all you spend your time at work doing is looking for ellie. she seems to already know you're getting dumber, and she helps with all the 'big girl things' you just can't do anymore.

"hi, angel, you need help right?" she coos every time you come find her to do something for you. "im so proud of you for coming to get me, i know you can't do it by yourself. it's okay..." and her gentle praise only makes your cunt leak more.

your boss sees how you don't really work anymore and gets angrier, much to ellie's advantage. one day, she takes you into the washroom and shows you a video.

one big, sparkly pink spiral is plastered on her phone screen, and she connects your headphones so you can hear the audio -

"you feel so good with your little pussy all wet, all you want are some orgasms right? you don't think any more, you only get dumber and dumber..." and the video trails off.

it feels like hours that you stand there staring at the screen, hypnotized. you feel her hands on your body, touching your nipples and squeezing your boobs. "you want an orgasm right? wanna cum so bad, but you can't do it yourself? come with me, ellie will help." she coos, and your horny broken mind only wants to listen.

ellie takes you to her house, something she's been wanting to do for a long time, "just had to make sure you were dumb enough," she thinks to herself.

she brings you into her room where there's a little cage all perfect for you, with your new favourite color: pink. she ties you up, all pretty, with an even prettier pink ball gag. you squirm a little, confused. you're not completely dumb yet, and ellie's annoyed by that fact.

luckily, there's a good solution. "it's okay princess, ellie will break that mind of yours, alright?" she says, teasingly. now that she has you all for herself, she doesn't need to keep up the nice act.

ellie leaves you to struggle briefly, before coming back with a small egg-shaped vibrator. she tapes it right on top of your clothed clit, before continuing to play hypno files.

you squirm, even though it hurts with all the tight ropes, at the feeling of the vibe. not only have you gotten soo much dumber, you're also needier. without really meaning to, you mumble a series of broken pleas through the gag. you don't care that ellie hypnotized you and is actively trying to break you. all you want is to cum.

ellie smiles when she notices you moving your hips, desperate for more friction. she presses down on the vibe before sliding her hands up your shirt to rub your nipples. the look in your big, teary eyes makes her clit throb.

"come on, know you wanna cum your brains out, so just do it. cum for me angel," she teases, and it sends you over the edge fast. finally, you break, her dumb little nympho toy.

she unties you quickly and removes the gag before taking all your clothes off. "good girls don't wear clothes if they don't need to... right, baby?"

"yes ellie!" you respond, nearly drooling from how good your last orgasm was- and how badly you want another one. ellie immediately takes her pants off when she hears how you say her name. she wants to fuck you soo bad already

shit, and the look in your eyes- like not a single thought passes through your head, ever. that's how she knows you're broken.

ellie lights a blunt fast, and you find yourself practically humping the floor at how hot she is when she smokes. the air in her room seems to get heavier, and it's greenish-yellow tinted. long puffs, and she takes a few hits before turning to you. "always wanted to do this, since the day i first saw that stupidly cute little face," she whispers, chuckling.

she takes a hit, and this time she blows it in your face. you cough, disoriented by the sudden sensation but you love every second of it. and you're happy to be obedient because maybe that means another orgasm- fuck, you just want to cum again.

lucky for you, ellie does too. she picks you up and throws you on her bed, kissing your pretty lips until you can't feel them. she stops momentarily, opening her drawer and getting her strap, a vibrator, and something else you can't see.

you realise what it is when you feel your nipple get pinched harshly, ellie put nipple clamps on you. you whine a little, but come to be... okay with the sensation. you just want to please ellie, after all.

and anyway, being so good for her pays off. you know for sure when she's 8 inches deep inside of you, stuffing your face inside a pillow with one hand and rubbing your clit with the other.

"you gonna make a mess, hm? you gonna make a mess for ellie?" she says, leaning over to kiss your swollen lips. "mhm, yesyesyesyes, 'm gonna make a mess for ellie, fu-u-uckkk, els," you whimper, and you know it's exactly what she wants to hear.

the base of the strap absolutely abuses ellie's clit, and it's not long before her movements become frantic and she gets even meaner. "yeah, you gonna cum your brains out again like a little whore? yeah?" she groans, slapping your ass harshly.

"say it, say you're a stupid whore for ellie," she says, when she doesn't hear a response. she's right about to cum, she just needs to hear you admit it.

"i-im a stupid whore for ellie!" you whine, having your third- or was it your fourth? orgasm since ellie broke you. it didn't matter how many you had, you just wanted more.

ellie nearly felt the same way. having her own little toy, it was too good just thinking about the possibilities.

after that day, ellie tried out all the things she'd been wanting to do. she brought you to work with her, except now you went so you could be the cum dumpster of the office, going under tables to eat your former coworkers out until they came all over your face.

she took you to the park, so she could humiliate you by making you hump random things. she took you to the library, so she could make you ask the female staff about books while controlling the vibrator in your panties,

even at home, ellie humiliated you by making you clean or do gardening outside with a skirt and no panties. anyone sensible would have been way to embarrassed to keep doing these things.

except you didn't really have a problem with your new life, because you always got orgasms, and that was all your dumb, broken slutty brain ever wanted.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩.✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

this account supports palestine 🇵🇸❤️

do not buy any tlou games! neil druckmann, the creator, is a zionist who's funding a genocide! do not give him your money!

https://www.tumblr.com/sulfurcosmos/732456971539775488/how-you-can-help-palestine

#ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie x reader #ellie the last of us #ellie williams smut #ellie williams x reader #gxg smut #lesbian #tlou ellie #ellie williams tlou #bd/sm kink #mindbreak #hypnoslut #hypnok1nk #hypnosub #free free palestine #free palestine #i stand with palestine #free gaza

452 notes · View notes

csainz5 · 10 months

Text

Mine || Charles Leclerc #16

pairing: charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader

summary: in which seeing people ship you with other drivers fuels the possessiveness in charles.

author notes: can u tell ive been obsessed with culpa mia. also this is my first charles fic (!!!) i made sm tweaks to the original req im so sorry 😭 deff been in a slump recently bc exams but 🙏 no beta read!! this one is still raw asf lol

req: yes/no.

wc: 1.2k words

————

the air as the weekend approached was filled with an adrenaline of its own. drivers loitering on the paddock, a camera shoved up each one of their faces. most of them were making videos for their teams social media, while others were giving interviews. silly banter & playful hazing surrounded the place as the free practices neared. as calm and laid back as the environment was, a new buzz had taken over the virtual world. it seemed like the redbull fans had taken on a new intrest in a the friendship you and max shared, suspecting it could be more than just friends. you’re shocked as you read through the articles, what could possibly make it seem like you were both in any sense more than just friends? max was like the brother you never had, and you, the sister he had always hoped of having. as much as the articles were delusional, you didnt really care that much about them, i mean why would you be afraid when there’s nothing youre scared of being open to the public? okay, maybe not everything. not the time when you were so drunk you demanded every guy on the paddock to quote “settle it with me on the ring”, not the time when you were the culprit behind the hilarious azerbaijan mix up where you stole the champagne on the podium and replaced it with an empty one, and definitely not the fact that you’re already taken, by a person known to all on the paddock.

—

The morning of the race was always an exhilarating one no matter which team youre driving for, or which team you’re rooting for. the passion, the dedication and the confidence in the each and every drivers persona was enough to fill you in the same mindset. though youve always been a redbull fan, which, i mean is definitely not even surprising considering you probably frequent their garage more than some of their own engineers, youve always held an admiration for all the drivers. even you knew how dominant the redbull cars were, so seeing the rest of the drivers still catch up with less resources filled your heart with pride. you look up at the fan’s waiting impatiently for the race to start with a smile on your face. this, will never get boring, you think.

Lord Percival 👑

can’t find you anywhere near here, don’t tell me you’re ditching me today yet again 😔

a chuckle escapes your lips.

You

i wouldve come over but you’re all the way across rn 😭 i’ll definitely be waiting for you after the race tho.

Lord Percival 👑

wow. way to betray me over text babe

You

okay drama queen 😒

Lord Percival 👑

guess you rubbed off on me then mon jolie

You

ill make it up to you, i always do.

just before you press send, you notice the drivers had already left for their respective interviews. whats the point in sending it now anyways, you decide.

—

the dark looms over the sky as celebrations near. the smell of alcohol, weed and god knows fucking what become all too familiar to you at this point. you reach the party alongside max, which considering he’s your best friend was not out of the ordinary for you, but little did you know, it didn’t help the ongoing rumours one bit. the familiar stench of reporters clogs your mind. what the hell were the doing here? and more importantly why were all of them suddenly taking an intrest in your friendship with max? question after question is thrown at you which makes you realise youve had enough of this. you reach for your phone.

You

screw this party

wanna meet up at our usual spot?

Lord Percival 👑

im always down 🙏

—

you could never get sick of this. the same ride, the same atmosphere, the exact same playlist playing over and over again, the curves of the road as you drive through. because you know, at the end of this journey would be the same thing you look forward to, every time. so you get into you car, and drive the same drive to the same spot, once again. at a pillar reading out “623” you stop by the ferrari you know all too well.

there he was. i could never get used to seeing him like this, you think, dressed up in formals but looking formal in no way whatsoever. shriveled hair, buttons unbuttoned, jewellery he knows how to style in just the right way. his crazed eyes of emerald, gazing into you with an intensity that makes your nerves shiver.

“took you long enough to come here” he says, holding you waist. “it was a longer drive than usual” “is that so?” he says, stepping aside you to rest against his ferrari, right beside you. folding his arms, he continues, pulling a cigarette out of his blazer, “want one?” “please, today was a bitch” “i could say the same for me, really” he reaches towards you, lighting your cigarette. “races in monaco are my favourite” he says, looking up at the sky. “yeah, id imagine so. nothing beats home” “yeah, it’s great to be home and all, but theres also something in monaco that beats the thrill any race could give me” he steps forwards, hands placed beside either sides of you.

he pulls the cigarette from your lips, taking in a puff himself. he brings his lips to your ear, “or rather, theres someone in monaco, who beats the thrill any race could give me” he whispers, blowing the smoke away. he flicks the cigarette aside and steps on it, as he lifts your face up, meeting your eyes with his own. “someone who sighs right when i kiss her here,” he goes on to place a chaste kiss on your mole, right on your neck by your jawline. and like a story repeated enough times, you sigh. “someone who arches her back when i pull her hair slightly like this,” he gently tugs your hair, making a makeshift ponytail and like a telltale, you arch your back, the satisfaction of being right sprawled across charles’s face.

“but of all, the one thing that makes me come back to this place again and again, is knowing that—“ he lifts your hips up, making you wrap your legs around him. “you’re mine.” the second he says that, its like all the dots connected in your head. you never thought charles would be jealous of the rumours, given how he was the one who didn’t want your relationship to be public. “charles, are you jealous?” you ask. “so what if i am?” “well, i for one wouldnt want my boyfriend to be feeling like that anymore” “what do you mean?” you pull out your phone from your clutch, “kiss me” “wait what are you doing?” “i said, kiss me” you say, pulling him in by his jaw. “im conf-“ you kiss him, shutting him up. as he closes his eyes he finds himself to not be able to help himself from drowning into you, well atleast until a flash brings him out of his trance. “im going to post it.” “you don’t have to, you know” “but i want to. i want everyone to know how much you mean to me charles. you’re my favourite person and i would hate to see you be jealous”

——

“i can’t believe you actually did it, jolie” “its the least i could do” you say, pecking his cheek. “but ive gotta say, i definitely wouldnt mind seeing this shade of you more often” “you haven’t seen the end of me yet, mon ange”

#charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc fanfiction #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc imagine #formula one #formula 1 #f1 2023 #ferrari #charles leclerc scenario

966 notes · View notes

thewinterpillarhashira · 14 days

Text

i owe everyone a smol collection and commentary to wips/scraps i did before, during and after the fime i went into ur average cliche hollywood cringe emo phase

^^ THIS. oh my god, where do i even start about this.

MY GOSH this was like, the last thing i did b4 i fully succumbed to burn out as a whole LMAO

i made this becoz i got inspired by marc brunet doing yoneyama mai’s style vid that passed by my feed as i scrolled through hoards wanting even a single dose of motivation to prevent what i knew was an upcoming artblock.

and y’know me, i HEART yoneyama sm. so seeing that was my absolutely yumyum cup of tea—temporarily 😭

u see, EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL⁉️ until i reached my limit at (unsurprisingly) hair shading.

needless to say, this was scrapped becaz—sure, the idea was overall wonderful—but the way i did the blue moon weed flower and the lighting was just NOT it for me at all. nuh uh (i essentially went through a major sob story era after this BUT i convinced myself it was just a phase—and guess what? IT WAS!! showed myself i own me n i do me 🗣️ WHOS THE ALPHA⁉️😈)

(..i aint ever physically, mentally, emotionally nor spiritually recovering from typing that.^)

^basically, after struggling to find myself for a while, i soon fortunately managed to get back to it in the slightest!;) andddd so, recently, i alas decided to do something just for me.

no more frieren fridays(+apothecary dairies) were honestly hella extra upsetting when it happened during an existential crisis moment. but hey, i got to finally draw some characs i rlly love!

these are some 30 min warmups to both challenge and to have fun myself considering its been quite some time since ive picked up my pencil and done smth worth my while.

personally content with this. moreover, it genuinely helped a lot for me to start drawing stuff again;)

^now a quick sketch i did with a palette that was somewhat out of my comfort zone.

if you’d notice, i usually use pastel colors when i do things—which i realized as i reminisced my journey and the friends we made along the wa-

in short this was a lil tryout i didto NOT do’at 💪

nothing much to say here other than that this is my forgotten genshin oc whom is now practically a test dummy for me to use whenever i have to experiment colors bcuz she doesn’t have an official one (yet…jk thats never happening sux to be her 😂🤣)

^notbing much I've got to complain about here

it's literally just a mulihaohao art style study

with ri as stelle lmao

i merely got too lazy to get it done

will prob finish....ext year-

..last but DEFO the least, a hu tao with miku fit sketch i ditched

79 notes · View notes

mangosrar · 6 months

Text

Tough guy Jasper.

pt2 of middle game!!

chris sturniolo x fem reader.

pt1 “middle game”

warnings: alottttt of angst, fighting, chris being a hero 🫶

"Hey nick whats up?". It was currently around 6.30pm on a friday night and Rue was getting ready for a party. Some influencer had invited her, Nick, Matt and Chris and each of them a plus one. Nick and Matt had decided against bringing anyone but, obviously Chris was bringing his girlfriend, Sophie, and Rue was bringing Jasper, her boyfriend of 4 months. How fun.

"I was just wondering if you needed Matt to pick you up later?" His voice rang through the speaker.

"Uh no its good Jaspers gonna drive us there" The girl internally screamed at the thought of Chris and Jasper being within a mile radious of eachother. Truth was, after Rue and Chris had confessed to being in love with eachother, they fooled around for a while before Chris miraculously decided he wasnt ready for a relationship. So naturally Rue did what she saw best fit: to get over one man, get under another, however the irony was, she was still getting under the guy she was trying to get over. Both of them were just as bad as eachother, proven so, when Chris had found out that his beloved Rue had moved on, obviously he had to do the same.

"Oh okay cool. I cant wait to see you, we havent seen you in like 2 weeks bro" Rue couldn’t help but scrunch her face up at the word. We. She wished she could be honest with her best friend but how was she supposed to say 'Nick youre so silly, its just you and matt i havent seen, i was actually getting my bones jumped by your brother last night behind my boyfriends back but snuck out this morning before anyone was up. See you at the party!!!'. She was doomed.

"Me too Nick, ive missed you so much" She wrapped up the conversation and carried on getting ready, but she couldn’t shake the overarching feeling of guilt. She was lying to everyone she loved. Well all but one.

7.30 pm rolled around fast and before she knew it she was waiting for Jasper to pull up. She felt and looked great. Clad in a skin tight dress that stopped just below her knees, white heels, and a perfect amount of clevage on show. Jasper will love this, but Chris would love it more. And just like he infiltrated her thoughts, he infiltrated her attention. Her phone chimed and she raced to check it.

Chris: Tough guy Jaspers coming huh?

Rue: Yes. Sophie?

Chris: Na something came up shes not coming. But you will be 🙃

Rue: Talkin about you "making me come" and your girlfriends name in the same sentence? player

Chris: You know it sweetheart. See you soon.

Asshole.

The party was heaving by the time they arrived. The smell of alcohol and weed heavy in the air. Nick had quickly found Rue and Jasper, Matt in tow, but Chris was nowhere to be seen.

"Wheres Chris?" She couldnt help but ask, curiosity killed the cat.

"Hes outside on the phone to Sophie, he'll be over in a sec" Matt replied shooting her a tight lipped smile. Rue was never really that close to Matt, sure they were freinds but not like how she was with Chris or Nick.

"Speak of the devil and he shall apear" Jasper muttered but it fell on deaf ears, hed said it quiet enough for only her to hear. Jasper was never really fond of Chris. Or anyone who came near his girlfriend really. He always said Chris was 'too friendly' or 'too handsy'. You dont know the half of it.

"Rue, long time no see" Chris pulled rue in for a hug. His hands rested just above her ass and he seperated himself from the girl with a toothy grin, she threw him a warning look saying 'carefull', he just moved his eyes to the left of her and let them land on Jasper.

"What up bro" Chris held his hand out for Jasper to take and he ignored him completely. Not even sparing him a glance.

"Jas dont be rude" She looked over to Jasper with wide eyes and furrowed eyebrows, after realising she had been staring at Chris this entire time. Jasper just scoffed and continued looking everywhere but Rue or her friends. Rue wanted the floor to open and swallow her up right there and then. Chris just raised his eyebrows and scoffed with a surprised smile turning to look at the poor girl. The look on his face told her everything his mouth didnt. Tough guy Jasper. Huh.

"Im gonna go get a drink ill be back in a sec" She didnt even wanna think about how awkward it would be after she walked away. Making a bee line for the kitchen island that was full of different drinks, she picked up the vodka, popped the lid off the bottle and started chugging. Ew.

The party was now well and truly under way and Rue was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol. Chris had been watching her all night, he was like a hunter watching its prey, ready to pounce any second. He had been watching Jasper put his hands all over Rue where his should be. He hated it. It was like torture. He just wanted to go over there and beat Jasper to a bloody pulp, but somehow he couldnt help but be angry at her. He couldnt understand why she was letting Jasper touch her like that when she knew Chris was watching.

There were drunk or high bodies dancing all over eachother, including Rue and Jasper. He was far too drunk for his girlfriends liking but she didnt care. Her back was flush to his chest and she was dancing on him like it was nobodys business. except Chris'. He was like a hawk. He sat across from where they were dancing, scowl on his face, smoking a blunt, man spreading in all his glory for her too see, and god did he look sexy. If it wasnt for the man behind her whispering how horny he was in her ear, she would have walked Chris out of that party and fucked him in the car. For a moment she considered it, but Jasper had other ideas.

He grabbed her arm and before she knew it they were in the hallway about to be lead up the stairs. The same stairs she had just been up with Chris about an hour ago. His face between her legs in some random bathroom, her hand slapped over her mouth.

"You like this dont you mh? Coming on my face while you’re boyfriend waits for you down stairs?" He tutted at her.

"I hope you dont kiss your girlfreind with that mouth" She breathed out in a strangled whine, as Chris dived back in, devouring her like a starved man. He didn’t even bother to respond, he just looked up at her and smirked.

Focus Rue.

She pulled back slightly stopping her boyfreind in his tracks.

"What are you doing?" Her voice slightly raised so he would hear you over the music. Jasper came closer to her grabbing her ass, moving his face down to her ear, planting kisses there.

"Come on baby i need you right now" He continued running his hands all over, despite rue trying to push him off.

"I dont want to Jasper. lets just wait until we get home" He was a man who could not be moved. He continued pulling her towards the stairs but she was having none of it.

"Jas come on" Rue struggled in his grip. He ignored her protests and carried on pulling her arm. His grip was unwavering and she was sure there would be bruises in the morning. Rue wasn’t weak by any means, but Jasper was much stronger than she was.

"Jasper stop it, youre hurting me" She was now panicked and stone cold sober, distress evident in her shaky voice, and desperately pulling against him but he was not letting up. He carried on pulling her through the hall way towards the stairs in a death grip.

She was helpless, the only thing running through her mind was how Chris would never do this. Chris. Chris. Chris.

CHRIS.

Before she could even protest Chris had lached his hands onto Jaspers shirt, roughly pulling him back, away from Rue. Jasper came stumbling back and it was like everything was suddenly going in slowmotion. The look on Chris' face spoke volumes, 'i’m going to tell him'. She kept her eyes on his, wordlessly begging not to say anything. But before she could even get a word in, Chris opened his mouth.

"She asked you to stop tough guy" His chest was heaving and he looked like he was about to rip Jaspers throat out. He protectively stood infront of the girl, putting a barrier between Rue and her boyfriend. People were now crowding around the two boys after hearing the commotion, waiting in anticipation.

"Chris please" She silently begged for him not to. He knew what she was asking but he didnt care.

"If i wanna fuck my girlfriend i will, you dont need to be so pissed just because she wont let you fuck her Chris" Jaspers words were slurred and he could barely stand straight. Chris had a shit eating grin on his face and Rue knew it was coming before it even happened, clasping her hands together, praying for some sort of relief from a god she had no right to beg for. Not with how far she had come.

"Oh but she does" Before Rue or Jasper could even get a word in Chris sent a searing punch straight at him, his fist connecting with Jaspers jaw, sending him flying onto his back, and in no time Chris was on top of him sending hit after hit.

Rue was yelling at Chris to stop, but he couldn't even hear her. He was like a man posessed, Relentless with his hits. Matt and Nick appeared from the living room after hearing all the comotion, but all they could see was her face. The look of pure horror so evident, they knew it was Chris and Jasper. Matt made his way through the crowd and pulled Chris off of Jasper. His nuckles were bloody and he stood there panting, looking down at his bloody handywork lying on the floor. Jasper was bleeding from everywhere. Rue stood speechless, her wide eyes jumping between the two boys, waiting for Chris to say or do anthing. At this point the tears were full force running down her face. Chris turned to her and his face softened at the sight of her weeping, it was like something had changed in his eyes but she couldnt figure out what.

"Rue..." It was like he was the only person in the room. How could he do this? How could he embaress her like this? His hand reached out to touch her arm but she pulled away from him and pushed past him, making sure to shove his shoulder with her own on the way out the front door.

"Victoria!" She heard someone yell after her and she was sure it was Matt, but she was too focused on getting as far away from Chris as she could.

She was so angry she felt sick. Chris had no right to do that. He had no right to interfere with her relationship like that. She wanted to wring his neck. She wanted to tell the whole world just how terrible he was, like he had just done to her.

What he didn’t understand was that she had the information to ruin his relationship and possibly his life. He embarrassed her and carved his name into her back, and she had a golden opportunity to destroy everything on a nuclear scale. Why wouldn’t she use it? The truth was she knew there were two ways to end a war. Going nuclear or just simply walking away. She wouldn’t gain anything by shooting him down or drawing a knife straight through the heart of his ego. It didn’t make her life any better. And this hit for hit thing they've had going on these past few months, was lasting a little too long for Rues liking.

nothing better than seeing a man w bloody knuckles 😛😛😛😛😛😛

@christinarowie332 @sturniolostvrs @kitaysworld @urmyslxt @biimpanicking @soursturniolo @sturnphilia @cupidtoast @lividnity @sukiwaterhousestan @freshlovehacker @deatthmatch @fandomhopped

212 notes · View notes

dynsdiary · 29 days

Text

my pov of ellie | series

dayana's talk ; hi, this was so fun to make and i made this for fun at first but people started take a liking to it so i decided to make a series lol. this is all my opinion about ellie and if you think its not accurate or wtv, that's fine cause this is MY opinion. therefore, if you don't agree please keep it to yourself or let me know, up to you.

please comment if you wanna be add to taglist (this specifically only)

warnings : again this is MY opinion, low(high)key self inserted lol, used of yn, mentioned of weeds & nicotine (maybe) uhh idk each has their own warnings lol.

cr : @idontgetanysleep & pinterest for the pics

enjoy >.<

reminder : i am not promoting tlou nor should you buy tlou games (remastered or not) since neil is a zionist so dont buy tlou.

DAILY CLICK

DONT BUY TLOU

WAYS TO HELP PALESTINE

I. HOW I SEE ELLIE

II. ELLIE & YOU

III. ELLIE AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND

IV. LIVING WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND

more to be add...

REMINDER !!

that neil is a zionist and therefore dont buy his games, doesnt matter remastered or not !!!

before you leave, have you DONATE TO PALESTINE today? ITS FREE TOO !!

#written by ellslvr ❦#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fanfic

60 notes · View notes

thedisablednaturalist · 2 months

Text

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

#wrenfea.exe #doctors and nurses dont fucking clown on this post #anything you say needs to be backed up by sources with apa citation thrown in for good measure #this is my personal experience dont tell me im exaggerating or just havent tried hard enough #i will kick you with my horse legs and then go lie down for 4 hours #bedbound people i am sending you so much love and will probably be joining you in a few years #chronic disability #chronic pain #spoonie #fibromyalgia #disability #chronic illness #from the field #physically disabled #this also applies to neurodivergent and mentally ill people but pls don't derail #this is mainly about physical disabilities #you are welcome to make your own post and reference mine if you want @ me and ill reblog it #sometimes im like oh i cant be disabled bc i do all this stuff im a faker inflatrating the community #and then i have days like today where i cannot leave my bed #i am so pissed off that people with long covid and ME have to go through that fucking exercise rehabilitation program #that actively makes their mitochondria worse #you wouldnt start using a vase without fixing the cracks first #the water will spill out and the flower will die #degenerative disc disease

56 notes · View notes

elliezlils11utt · 3 months

Text

Bad idea - girl in red. (E.W)

content: You cant get your on & off ex, Ellie Williams, out of your head. So you decide to call her over.

song link: https://open.spotify.com/track/57j65yC2HggQfmYNc6rdOK?si=2416f86b42e84be8

warnings: nsfw, hate sex, angst, smut, mean!ellie, degration, reader is a hot shit mess. (me!) if i missed anything lemme know!

a/n: Im still sick asf and my phone is broken so ive kinda just been writing the past few days. this is not my best work, like at all. (its so bad) but the storyline is kinda interesting. (based on "bad idea"- girl in red)

proofread?: none of my work is ever proofread lmao.

You and Ellie had been broken up for a couple months now. But of course you had not been able to get her slick ass smile out of your head. She plagued your thoughts, being the only thing you could think of. She was the worst partner you could ever have. But, god was she ethereal.

So when you sat at the edge of your bed with her image glued to the inside of your eyelids you picked up your phone. Was this a bad idea? Probably. Did you care? Nope. You sat there staring at the past messages. The fights, then the make up texts. Then more fucking fights.

You squeezed your eyes shut. Contemplating the mistake you were about to make. Its like she was a fucking drug you were addicted too. You couldn't get enough of her, even If you tried. Which you really did this time. Really hard. This had been the longest you and Ellie had stayed apart. Ever. You always somehow ended up back with her. Ignoring the pleas of your family and friends to dump her ass for good this time. It was a bad idea, to think you could stop. Because now here you were, your phone up to your ear with Ellie on the other line.

“Hey, ellie?” You stumble over your words.

“Hey.” Fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Her voice.

“Uh- um. What are you doing right now?”

“Nothing.”

“Wanna come over? Like, for a smoke.” bad idea, bad idea, bad idea.

What you can only assume is an amused chuckle muffles the phone line. “Sure.”

“Kay, cool! Uh, see you soon?”

“Mhm.”

The line ends abruptly. Oh fuck. Ellies coming over. Again. Fuck why did you do that? Your totally fucked now. You spend the following minutes pacing around your house. One little horny butt dial can turn into a series of bad decisions. You knew this. Yet Ellie is sitting across from u on your coach. Blunt in mouth, eyes on u.

“You know, ive missed us.” she admits while passing the weed to you. You take a drag of the blunt, ignoring her blatant attempt to ‘win you back’ (it was working)

“Why did you call me over..?”

“You want the truth?”

She just stares back at you with those droopy red eyes of hers. Those gorgeous fucking eyes that got you into this mess in the first place.

“Im horny. and i missed you.” Smoking always makes the whole truth come out of you. Even if you didn't want it to.

“Yeah?” There it is. That cocky lopsided smirk.

“Yeah.” Blowing the smoke out of your mouth you lean closer to her. And she does the same. The tension makes the air thick and foggy. A competition to see who will break first. (that she always wins) and surly this time was no different. You close the gap between you two. Pressing your lips onto hers. She cups your face with her hands, desperately pulling you farther into her. She put her hands under your shirt. Undid your bra and said these words. “Darlin you're so pretty it hurts” breaking the kiss she pulls your shirt over your head. And threw your clothes down on the floor. Your brain goes numb. Allowing Ellie to take complete control. All you can think about is her lips on yours. Too busy thinking about the wet kisses trailing down your neck to worry about the consequence to this pleasure.

She said “darling are you ready for more?” Her hands found your tits rubbing the fatty flesh in her hands while she kissed your collarbones. Her lips pecked kisses down your body. Her tattooed hand slipped down and into your painties, feeling your heat. her finger explored your slippery folds. You throw your head back while whimpers leave your mouth. She plunges a finger into your sopping cunt. “F- Fuck els”

“Yeah? You like that pretty girl? You missed my fingers, yeah?”

You just nod repeatedly. Another finger finds its way into your cunt. Her digits curl into you relentlessly.

“Words baby.”

“Fuck els. Yes. y- yes.” You moan

“Fucking slut.” she chuckles before returning her mouth onto your tit. Her tongue swirling around your pebbled bud and her fingers pumping in and out of your pussy makes your back arch. But you can't help but be pissed at yourself for letting her bring you this pleasure after the pain she caused you. This is wrong. You shouldn't be doing this. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, ellie. Ellie stop.” you push her head away.

“What's wrong? I thought you wanted this.”

“I do, I mean. At least I thought I did.” You quickly throw your shirt back on.

“I don't get it?”

“It was a bad idea, calling you up. I shouldn't have said anything. We are bad together ellie. I fucked up.” guilt rushes over you. You shouldn't have said anything. And that was the truth. You told yourself that you would never get back with Ellie again. Ever. You told yourself that you would never let ellie fuck you again. You told yourself that you wouldn't let Ellie get in your head again. “I need to be alone. Just, go? Please.”

“Yeah alright. Call me when u wanna finish this, kay? Cause u always do” She says bluntly before rolling her eyes and leaving. A tear breaks free from your glossy eyes. Thats fucking problem. She thinks that you will call her again. Because ‘you always do.’ And she's not wrong. You always end up calling her again, Whenever u get lonely, or horny, or miss her. Who the fuck would miss Ellie, fucking, Williams? You. You miss her. Because you can't get enough.

a/n: I apologize for this. :D

#tlou2 #tlou fanfiction #tlou #ellie tlou #bad idea #girl in red #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #the last of us 2

117 notes · View notes

sleepysturnss · 4 months

Text

LIPSTICK - Nate D.

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

summary: you and nate have been dating for years, and you two are basically the perfect couple. nate decides to take a pitstop on the way home from shopping.

warnings: ALL FLUFF NO ANGST😍, kisses, cute ass flashbacks n some dancingg❤️

enjoy!! xx ❤️

── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

i smiled, pinching the tip of a lipstick case, inspecting it before sighing and putting it back in its place.

“whats wrong with that one? i think itd look lovely on you ma.” my boyfriend, nate sighed, placing his hands on my shoulders as he walked up behind me.

“too dark.” i sighed, picking up a few more, repeating the process.

“too light”

“too sparkly.” i scrunched up my nose, shaking my head.

nate watched as i picked through the hundreds of lipstick shades and sizes, occasionally coming behind me and shoving his face into my neck, his way of telling me to hurry up.

“nate i promise ill be done soon” i mumbled, ruffling his brown hair through my red nails, he smiled, leaning into the touch.

he was such a needy boyfriend, like…almost anyone who knew him would think that he couldnt care less about physical touch or quality time, but i knew that he craved that shit.

anytime i was at his house, he was holding me, kissing me, doing anything he could to feel my body heat against his.

like a puzzle piece that just fit, and without him i was just an incomplete puzzle.

like i was almost whole, but there was one piece missing, right in the center.

i liked to say i hated it, his clingy behavior, but i dont think i could live life the same without it, its become part of my life.

nate was wrapped around my heart.

he held it in his soft hands, he could drop it at any moment, but i knew he wouldnt. he would never.

the second he got it, he swore to never let it go, and he stood by his word. he has for three years. ive never met anyone like nate, and id like to think he feels the same about me.

he always knows exactly what im thinking, he can read my thoughts like your reading them right now, its quite impressive actually.

its one of the things i admire most about him, and he doesnt really have to try.

“mama, look at this, it would match your pretty nails.” he smiled sweetly, grabbing a gold lipstick case, holding it up for me to see.

he flashed his puppy eyes at me, like a golden retriever.

i didnt even look at the color before i was handing it to the woman at the register. the look on his face was quite literally priceless, his smile was so cute and genuine there was no way i wouldve said no. it could be a green lipstick, and id have still gotten it.

“you didnt even look at it ma” he whined as i handed the woman my card,

“im sure its perfect nate. besides im just ready to be home.” i shrugged, taking the small bag from her and interlocking out arms.

he smiled, sighing softly, finally being able to get my full attention.

once we got in the car, i connected my phone to bluetooth, hitting shuffle on my playlist.

i smiled when the soft hum of the music play throughout his car, k, by cigarettes after sex.

the muffled rumbling of his worn down honda made the song even better.

his car.

it was the shittiest car i had ever seen.

but i loved it so much.

there were so many memories in this ugly ass car. i always gave him shit for it but i think id kill him if he ever thought about getting rid of it.

“i love this song.” i muttered, running my thumb over his hand. i hadnt even realized he was holding it, it just felt so natural.

“i know you do.” he smiled, glancing at me before shifting his gaze to the road.

“oh really?” i smirked, tilting my head.

“how?”

he rolled his eyes, “you know why.”

i smiled, “yeah i do.”

senior prom.

he took my hand, leading me out onto the gym floor.

“i fucking hate this.” i mumbled, scrunching up my nose at the smell of sweat, alcohol, and weed.

“i know mama, but you look so beautiful in that dress, and your perfume smells like heaven.” he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.

i could not feel my body. the ammount of nerves he gave me made me higher than any ammount of weed i had ever smoked.

i had the biggest crush on him.

i had the biggest crush on my boyfriend.

and he had the same feelings for me.

“i love cigarettes after sex” he mumbled, tearing me from my thoughts.

“what?” i hummed softly,

“i said i love cigarettes after sex.”

“me too” i smiled.

but i could tell that something had changed,

how you looked at me then.

i smiled at the memory, almost not realizing that he had skipped the turn onto his neighborhood.

“nate, you missed the…”

i paused, grinning at him as i realized what he was doing.

he smiled back at me, eventually parking his car by an abandoned barn house.

the house we had passed so many times when we were sixteen.

the house that i had always dreamed of owning. dreamed of owning with nate.

however now, it wasnt the same. it had been burned in a fire about a year ago. i was so upset when i found out, it seems silly, but that was like my teenage dream.

i had watched my teenage dream die right before my eyes on news channel five.

but none of that mattered, because i didnt need a white picket fence to prove that i was in love with nate, we both knew that.

eventually, we got out of the car.

he led me down the hill, the little weeds clinging to my sweater, the ends of my jeans lightly coated in the mud that was layered below the pretty green grass.

my stupid converse that i wore to senior prom.

the stupid converse that he had bought me on our very first date.

a size too big.

they still fit. three years later,

they still fit.

we stopped at the bottom of the hill, there was a pond not too far from us, there were still a few stray ducks.

he took my left hand, then my right, pulling my arms around his shoulders, his arms rested on my waist.

“i remember when i first noticed that you liked me back.” he hummed the lyrics of the song we danced to in higschool, swaying us slowly back and forth, the tall grass rubbing against my baggy jeans.

“think i like you, best when your just with me…and no one else.” i whispered, pressing my forehead against his, like we did a few years ago.

“i still get butterflies from you.” he whispered, smiling softly.

“ive still got a crush on you.” i whispered back, the corners of my lips curving up.

“your smiles still as beautiful it was when we were in eighth grade.” he mumbled, playing with a strand of my hair.

“your eyes are just as pretty as they were when we were sixteen.” i tilted my head, my eyes subconsciously falling to his lips.

as if he read my mind, he had leaned forward slightly, pressing his lips against mine.

it wasnt rough or forced, it was the perfect kiss a person would imagine.

like the ones in the movies.

the kinds you read in books, that you laugh at when they say their boyfriends lips fit perfectly together.

i used to laugh, but it really is true.

nate was my puzzle piece that fit perfectly against my lips, against my heart.

he pulled away, a small hint of blush had found its way onto his cheeks.

“youve got the lipstick all over your lips now” i giggled, trying to smear it off.

“stop, stop.” he pushed my hand away from his mouth, laughing lightly. “i like it.” he smiled, rubbing his hands over my back.

i took his hand, sitting down in the grass, pulling him down with me.

we just studied the light blue sky for a while, a comfortable blanket of silence warming the atmosphere.

“im gonna buy this house one day.” he glanced at me, “im gonna fix it up, for us and our little ones.”

“really?” i grinned, leaning into him.

his arm slid over my shoulder, hugging me to his chest,

“yeah.”

stop this is so cute i love writing shit like this oddmdme

goodnight cuties xx

#Spotify #nathan doe #nate doe #n8 #sturniolos #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #idk #chris sturniolo #help #sturniolo #sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #fluff #cigarettes after sex #k #cute

117 notes · View notes

veemunson86 · 3 months

Text

I see you everywhere

Pt 3, love of my life.

Series masterlist

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

it was Steve's idea, to write a letter to Eddie and burn it. you thought it was cheesy but decided to give it a shot. the heavy weight your heart felt for him ached more and more every day which was causing unwanted stress. going into the 8th month of your pregnancy began to become unbarable without him. all you wanted was to feel him holding you late at night, but he couldn't, and that alone was a crushing feeling. at first you thought it was a horrible idea, but when you were missing him extra one day, you finally found the right words.

" my dearest eddie, today marks almost 8 months since you left me. it still hasn't gotten any easier. everyone says it gets better, but when? i miss you like crazy. i still wear your ring, but its too big for my hand so i have it on a chain i swear around my neck. i wonder what our wedding would have been like. i wonder how you would have raised our beautiful baby girl, would you have played her music to help her sleep? everywhere i go, its like you're here with me. i see you everywhere around the house that would have been ours. i wake up to what would have been the side of your bed, and its like sometimes i envision youre laying next to me... your hair a big frizzy mess. i find myself doing that a lot, thinking youre here with me, that maybe, just maybe you'll come back to me. but you wont, and that's when i snap back into reality. you're gone. its still hard to say out loud. our baby is growing so fast. she has a strong heartbeat. i remember when i would lay my head on your chest when we would be on the couch, or laying in bed. it was my favorite thing to listen to. that day when i held you, i felt your heart slowly give out, and a part of mine died with you that day. everyone here says ive changed, and the truth is i have. the y/n i was died when you did, now I'm just the shell of the girl i once was. the shell of a girl who lost the one person she truly loved. but i wanna change, that's why in writing this. i wanna change for our girl. i wanna be the best version of myself i can, for her. it scares my thinking about having to do this alone, but i know I'm not alone. i have the kids, and steve, nancy and robin to help. they go with me to every appointment. i know she is gonna be so loved by them, and that makes me happy. i decided on a name. remember when we talked about a family of our own one day? we wrote down names that we would want for our kids. i found that notebook when i moved your stuff in here. our house. just like we wanted. 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom. big backyard, with a small swimming pool. it wasn't easy, but i had help. my parents and your uncle helped me until i could get up on my feet. i moved your stuff here, part of my thinks youre gonna show up one day. our bedroom is perfect. we both have a nightstand, i have pictures of us together o your side. i know it all sounds stupid, but its comforting. i have a few of your shirts in the closet, they still smell like you. i always loved that smell, like cinnamon and weed. it makes it feel like youre still here. i open up our closet and that's the first thing i smell, it smells like home. like you. i picked our girls name, i decided on Amelia. shes gonna have your last name. i set up her nursery with the help of steve, dustin, and max. her little room is adorable. i have a light pink crib, and above it there is her name smelled out in wooden letters. there is little ducks on the wallpaper, as when i went through my first nesting phase i didnt know the gender yet. there is a fuzzy white rug right by her crib, and a rocking chair so i can feed her in there. i wish you could be here to see it, but alas, youre not. so i guess this is my final goodbye to you. steve said writing this and burning it would give me piece of mind, and i think hes right. so goodbye my love, i will love you forever, please watch over me and our baby. i love you."

and with that, you folded the paper in half, throwing it in the fireplace, watching as it slowly turned to ash.

Tags:

57 notes · View notes