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#just keeps putting me in the same situation again and again
dreamauri · 2 days
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♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? - part two max verstappen x reader (fluff) “. . . when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”
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“Come on, you can’t say he has so much potential!” Max miserably tried to hold in his laughs as you continued your rant about how much better Max would look if he put a little more effort or thought in how he dressed. 
“I’m honestly starting to think he’s allergic to wearing anything . . . not Red Bull related. Like even in his streams! In his home!” 
Sitting in front of his laptop with a makeshift setup in the hotel room in Japan, Max found himself unwinding from the earlier media day when he gladly accepted to join you for a game of Fifa. It wasn’t until someone brought up Lewis’ outfit from this morning did you start your little ted talk. 
“La, please concentrate on the game, we’re losing!” he couldn’t stop laughing either so your team was toast either way. 
“No, because I bet he's wearing his Red Bull shirt right now wherever he is.”
The reason why Max was no longer able to hold it together was because he was indeed in a Red Bull shirt. He might actually take you up on being allergic to anything not associated with Red Bull.
“I’ll gladly design a few outfits for him, I swear!” 
“La-” Max put his face in his hands, shoulders shaking from laughter as his screen showed the opposing team scoring a goal. The dutch would usually feel frustrated if he were to be losing a Fifa game in any other situation, but not this one with you.
He's ready to lose and lose again, even give up his title as one of the world's top twenty Fifa players if he gets to spend time with you like this, laughing and joking; forgetting the world around, so it's just you and him.
Just two people . . . being people.
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Since I have no one to show, you're stuck with me.” 
It’s kind of been a routine now, having a private call after a game or upon finding spare time. You two have gotten close. You even considered “amilian” to be a close friend, per say. A close friend who you regularly vent to about work or just randomly ask riddles or dad jokes to bother.
You enjoyed his company. He was a fun person to be around. He made you feel . . . yellow in a type of way too. You never felt left out or unheard. He always had time for you, it's like you were maybe gravitating to being more than close friends . . . it's not like you can do anything about it though.
Surely people make close friends online all the time. 
You stay up on your couch, scrolling through the settings of your laptop to show and rant despite having to get up in the morning. Max crossed his legs on his chair folding his arms and watching the screen as you messed around on your shared screen.
“La, it’s late.” He’s been trying to tell you for the past 10 minutes. It’s 6:30 in Japan, 7 hours ahead of the time in Paris, where you were. 
Not that he’s keeping track of the time where you were, it’s just that you shared the same time zone as Monaco, and he only had the GMT+2 clock displayed on his home screen because he needed to keep track of his cats . . .  not too make sure you got enough sleep or anything of that sort.
“It's only 11:30,” you shushed, pulling up pinterest. Max hung his head, trying to hold in his smile. “I could put together a whole outfit that would suit him right here and now,”
“La,” Max giggled watching you actually start to search and put things together. “I’ll make a deal with you, if you go to sleep, I'll try to get Max Verstappen in baggy jeans,” 
“WHAT?!” the blond flinched at the loud noise, looking around his hotel room to make sure no one heard anything -- despite him being alone. 
“You know I work in F1 right?” Max followed up, trying to hold in his smile at your silence. “La, you forgot?!” 
“I’m sorry!” you pleaded, holding your hands in a begging motion despite him not seeing anything.
Max put his hand on his chest and pretended to be offended when he was smiling really wide to the point his cheeks hurt. “My best friend doesn't know what I do for a living,” he gushed in fake hurt. 
Your mind blanked at the title. Best friend? 
“You do know what my job is, right, La?”
“. . .” You looked away embarrassed, you’ve known the guy for how long and don’t even know what his profession is. 
Max couldn’t stop his giggles. “Go to bed, La. I’ll get Max in baggy jeans for you.”
★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Hey um, million?” 
“I thought I told you to go to bed?” Max chuckled, crouched in front of his suitcase, digging through it in hopes to find a pair of baggy jeans or a white shirt that he probably doesn't own. 
“I am in bed technically . . .” The blond looked over to his laptop on his desk, the call still going. “You work in F1,” Max felt his heart jump in anxiety for a second, there's no way you figured him out. 
“Yeah?”
 “Well um . . . my boss chose me to go see how things were going with McLaren at the Monaco gp,” 
The dutch perked up at your announcement. “Really? That's great!” 
“Y-Yeah, it is,” you stuttered, agreeing. you crossed your arms, looking at the email congratulating you on your phone screen. “I mean, I'm glad, this is an experience of a lifetime. I get to drag along a few interns with me as well.” Max frowned, your tone did not match with the news you were announcing.
“What's wrong?” He got up, sitting on the desk chair, looking at your profile picture, the concern was clear in voice, as if you could feel him sitting beside you on your bed and gently rubbing your back to comfort you. 
“Well, I don't have anyone to go with - the interns don't count . . . and I don't know anyone in Monaco or the attendees-- except you technically . . . I haven’t been on my own for that long before,” you sighed.
Max furrowed his eyebrows, trying to decipher what you were asking of him.
“Is it-” you cut yourself of with a sigh. “Can I hang out with you sometime? During the weekend?” Max stayed silent, feeling his heart pounding to the point he was scared the organ would explode out of his chest. 
“I mean,” Max cleared his throat to hide the crack in his voice that arose from the anxiety he was drowning in. “I’m not traveling with the team every weekend, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be in Monaco . . . I’ll have to ask my boss.” he replied quietly and slowly, trying to comfort you still. “There’s still a few weeks before Monaco, so . . . I don’t know for sure.” He whispered, scratching the back of his head.
He was digging himself a grave. Asking Horner if he’s going to be in Monaco when he is the driver and already lives in Monaco? It’s too late now to be honest about who he is, he dug this hole himself and now he’s stuck in it.
It’s not like he can be like ‘oh, yeah of course you can hang out with me. Oh, I’m Max Verstappen by the way, the guy who’s driving the best car and winning all the races, so I can get you VIP tickets and a hot lap too if you want.’
“I’ll try my best to be there,” the blond whispered. You could almost feel him brushing your hair comfortingly. “We can get ice cream or go sightseeing. I know this really good cafe you’ll like . . .” Max will just have to keep digging his hole.
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proof reading credits to the lovely and amazing @classiclitfreak <3
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tomieafterdark · 2 days
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Catboy Eren drabble
cw: afab!reader, dom!eren, 18+ dni if u are a minor
I am gonna be honest, this is so unserious I don't know what possessed me to actually write it and hit poster prob should have stayed in the drafts. Anyways, it is inspired by the same person that inspired this fic because he has a catlike aura.
not proofread also click here for more content
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You always thought Eren had this "grumpy cat" aura to him, and you never stopped reminding him about it. In fact, you had tried to make him say "meow" or use a catboy image as his profile picture several times, but all you were met with was him ignoring it or telling you it will never happen.
Everything he said seemed to go in one ear and out of the other, because one day when hanging out with him you decided it would be a good idea to bring cat ears and try to put them on him.
And you did. Eventually.
As if his death glare had not been enough, you just had to blurt out that he looks like a submissive catboy. 
And that is how you ended up in this lovely situation.
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"E-eren slow down!" You whined.
"Shut the fuck up." he hissed in irritation, pushing your head further down into the pillow. 
Tears rolled down your cheeks as Eren was stretching you open more and more with every thrust, as if the position he had you in wasn’t painful enough he went in with almost no prep. Adjusting to his size was quite the challenge.
He loved watching your hole swallow his cock whole, but what he loved even more was the way you reacted to how deep he went inside of you. He could tell that none of your previous sexual partners had ever touched your cervix with their tip, nor had they stretched you so good that it feels like your first time all over again. 
He kept his eyes locked on you as he fastened his pace. Your whimpering grew louder and clearer even though your face was buried in the pillow, your cries were actual music to his ears. He needed to hear them more clearly. 
He suddenly slips it out, you are too fucked out to notice it at first, still arching. But next thing you know he is sitting next to you on the bed and leaning against the headboard. 
“Get up y/n, I want you on top.” He commands coldly, his intimidating gaze not leaving you for a second.
You get up slowly, feeling a mix of pain and pleasure between your legs. You suddenly notice he forgot to take off the cat ears you had put on him earlier, it is very hard to not giggle but you manage to somehow muster up enough self control to keep quiet. You slowly move over to him, it is impossible to not stare at his face because of the cat ears. He looks so good with them on, and surprisingly not submissive. However the “grumpy cat” energy remains, and he looks even more annoyed now because you are taking way too long getting on top of him. Somehow he comes to the conclusion that you are being nervous because of his size but you are just in awe of how good he looks with cat ears on, you haven’t even glanced at his dick yet. 
“Y/n, if you are scared of the size just say that. I can assist.” He mutters, seeming less annoyed and almost concerned now. 
“Huh?” You look at him in confusion, but the dots soon connect. You are about to protest, but the way he suddenly became all attentive and kind of careful made you feel some type of way and you don't mind this going on for a bit longer. 
He starts fingering you and the sudden intrusion makes you hiss but he quickly shuts you up with a kiss. You manage to take a quick glance at his cock amidst all the kissing and moaning and you feel the knot in your stomach. It is a strange mix of fear, excitement and doom. How would all that fit inside you? 
All the mixed emotions and his skilled fingers bring you closer and closer to climax, he is aware of it by the way you are squeezing around his fingers and moaning louder and louder into the kiss. He stops right before you cum, you feel so close and you are so desperate that without even thinking, you quickly bring your left hand between your legs. 
“Not so fast.” Your wrist is suddenly burning from the iron grip he has on it and the more you pull away the harder he grips. You whine and pout in frustration, not even looking at him directly and still looking for a way to reach your high. You are really starting to lose patience. 
He grabs your lower face, making you look up at him. “If you want to cum, you will do it on my cock. Got it?” His stern voice and cold stare anchor you back to reality, and all you can do is nod. 
He doesn't waste another second, grabbing you by the waist making you straddle him. You instinctively hold on to him, and he does the same to you, just he does it for a completely different reason. You held on to his shoulders because a part of you feels safe around him, while he grabbed your hips out of impatience and to teach you a lesson for putting cat ears on him. 
You try to wriggle yourself out of his tight grip a bit, usually when you are on top like this you are the one controlling the pace and taking on a more dominant role but this is nothing like that. Instead, he slowly lowers you down on it and you gasp hard even though only the tip is in. 
Truth be told, he is resisting the urge to slam you down on it and teach you a very hard lesson, but ever since he noticed you have not had anyone his size before he has been taking his time with you. No, not because he cares, he just thinks your reactions are hilarious. You went from “annoying and cocky asking him to meow for you” to “crying little mess that does not know what to do with herself every time he thrusts” very quickly.  
He watches you intensely, you avoid looking into his eyes, it makes you feel like prey and as if his darkness is about to eat you alive even though he still has the cat ears on. The more he lowers you down on his cock, the more you are starting to believe you will feel it in your guts. He lowers you down very slowly and it gives a whole new meaning to “feeling every inch of him”. 
Your mind is going a bit blank, all you can repeat is “it is so big” and “I feel so full” inside your head. On the outside you are just biting your cheek trying to not burst out in tears like you did earlier. It feels different when your face is not in the pillow, hiding from his cold sharp gaze. This has you feeling new depths of submissiveness and being vulnerable. Though he can kind of notice you are trying your hardest to keep it cool but that is nothing but a challenge to him. This makes him want to break you more. 
You let out a yelp, because he suddenly slams you down on it with no warning and does not stop thrusting even for a second. You are not looking at him directly but you can tell he is smirking at the way you are struggling to keep it together. 
“You were doing a good job trying to keep it together, but you have to try harder to fool me.” He whispers into your ear as one of his hands starts to caress hair. The contrast of his soft demeanor while caressing your hair and his rough thrusts that have your legs almost shaking has your mind going hazy. “I will break you either way, you might as well give in to make this easier for yourself..” he continues in his dark husky voice as his hand leaves your hair now, traveling further down caressing your clit instead. 
It does not take a lot of movement to make you come undone. All that pent up energy from earlier was just waiting to be released, hanging on by a thread. The higher you feel the lower you will come down, and right now you are not just seeing stars you are seeing other galaxies. He grins as he watches you come. Your beautiful eyes are finally letting those tears out, and this time he can look into them since there is no pillow to shove your head in. 
You feel so drained from that one orgasm, you end up just laying down for what feels like several long minutes. This low really matched the high. 
Suddenly he climbs on top of you, his eyes even more dark and playful now. Before you can even react he, flips you on your stomach.
“Wha-” you blurt out. 
“Who said I was done teaching you a lesson? I was going easy on you earlier..” He snickered as he spreads your cheeks apart. 
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 © 2024 tomieafterdark | All rights reserved
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shinestarhwaa · 2 days
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PHYSICAL || KANG YEOSANG
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Genre: Smut, mild angst and fluff
Pairing: Genius!Yeosang x Bartender!Femreader
Word Count: 1.9K
Tags/Warnings: Friends to lovers AU, College student Yeosang, Yeosang is anxious and sad, Protected sex, Oral sex, Virgin!Yeosang, Experienced!reader, Praise
Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630 @stardragongalaxy @bro-atz @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mingisg00dgirl @vesvosmozhno
ENJOY!
"Can I have two vodka shots, please?"
A beautiful guy sat on the stool right on front of you. His hair was dark and kind of fell before his eyes. His skin was pale and you noticed a little red mark on the side of his face, looking like a birthmark. His shoulders were tense and his leg bounced up and down rapidly. He must feel nervous or anxious, you figured. You gave him a smile and nodded, filling two shotglasses with straight vodka. The guy thanked you and put some money down and immediately after he took both shots. "Re-fill, please."
"Wow, you must have a rough night," you say as you re-fill the shot glasses. "You shouldn't shot too much vodka though." "I know the exact amount of vodka I can handle, thank you," he says, putting more money down. He shots the vodka again and sighs deeply.
You keep watching him as you're making a martini cocktail for another customer. You had never seen this guy around before, while you usually tend regulars. The guy thanked you again and left the bar, leaving you a little confused, wondering who he was.
A few nights later he showed up again, sitting down on the same stool. You walked up to him and smiled. "Good evening," you greeted him. "Hey, could I get a scotch on the rocks?" "Sure," you nodded, making his drink.
You watched him drink it but he seemed not to like it very much. "Something wrong with your drink, sir?" "No, no, I just... I don't usually drink alcohol. It's not my thing. But I kinda need it right now." You nodded, understanding where he comes from. A lot of people who come to the bar for drinks come to forget about their current situation.
"What's bugging you?" You asked. "Honestly? I feel like I'm at a dead end,'' he sighed. ''A dead end? About what?'' He then started to explain he's a Physics student at the university nearby and his research is failing. ''I was so sure, you know? I was so sure I'd have a breakthrough but all my inspiration is just gone. I've got nothing and the deadline is coming up soon. I'm just... stuck and I can't get over it.''
''Well then get on top of it, of someone,'' you grinned, ''Let your stress out.'' ''I don't have sex,'' he stated, sipping from his glass. You looked at him, intrigued. ''You do not have sex? Are you a-sexual?'' ''Oh, no, not necissarily. Well. I don't really know actually. I haven't paid attention to those sort of things. It is not like I do not want sex though. I would... But no one really likes me or anything so I stopped caring a while ago. It is what it is you know?''
You frowned and looked at him up and down to which he gave you a questioning look. ''What?'' ''Well,'' you sighed, ''I just can't understand how people don't like you. You're kind. You're hot. What's there not to like?'' ''Well, the fact that I am a virgin,'' he said quietly. ''I don't know why people care about those things, I sure don't.''
The guy looked at you, with hopeful, big brown eyes. ''You don't?'' ''No, I don't think it is right to judge someone for being a virgin. I don't care about that stuff.'' ''So you'd have sex with me?'' The two of you were quiet now. ''You want me to have sex with you?'' you grinned as you cleaned some glasses, ''Are you sure about that?'' ''Well I... I'd like to try it and you just said I'm handsome right? And that you do not mind my virginity. You said it might help, right?''
You laughed. ''You're really endearing. What's your name?'' ''Oh, I apologize, how rude of me. I'm Kang Yeosang.'' ''Nice to meet you Yeosang, I'm Y/N. You'll need that when you're moaning out my name tonight after I'm done with my shift,'' you smirked. Yeosang swallowed thickly, biting his lip. ''Really?'' ''Really. I get off at 11, wait for me? I'll take you to my place, it's right down the street.'' Yeosang nodded and politely waited, drinking his bitter whiskey.
A while later you approached him again when your shift had ended. You took his hand and giggled at his shocked expression. ''Come with me cutie.'' Your seductive voice made Yeosang's hormones rage through his body. In a matter of minutes you got into your apartment, taking off coats and shoes and you took him to your couch.
''Have you kissed before, Yeosangie?'' He nodded shyly, ''A long timeago, but yes, I have... I know how that part works. It's the part after that I don't know.'' You nodded and pulled him close. You pressed your lips against his and God, were they soft. He looked so clean and polished and he probably took good care of his lips too. How else would they be this soft? They were so warm too, making you completely melt into the kiss. His lips parted slightly, allowing your tongue to slip inside his mouth.
You pressed your body onto his and he tensed up, probably never have felt this before. You pulled back and ran your hand through his hair. ''Never felt a woman's body before, have you, Yeosangie?'' He shook his head, swallowing thickly. He was already growing a raging boner in his pants that needed to be freed. You palmed his crotch and his cheeks heated up, growing red. ''It's okay, Sangie, I'm gonna take care of you. No reason to be afraid, okay?'' He nodded and took a deep breath to relax himself.
Standing up, you took him to your bedroom for more comfort. He sat down on the edge of the bed, looking around curiously as you got on your knees in front of him. He blushed when your gentle hands travelled up his thigh towards his zipper. You grinned at the bashful boy as you opened up his corduroy pants. Your heart was racing with excitement when you pulled his pants and boxers down, revealing his hard, girthy length.
''Look at that,'' you breathed out, your hot breath fanning over the tip of his twitching cock. ''I-I'm sorry if-'' ''No. You're perfect the way you are, Sangie, you're never gonna apologize for your body, you're beautiful, I promise,'' you assured him before he could say any more. He nodded and then took his sweater off. To your surprise he was more muscly than you'd expect. ''You look like a greek God, Yeosang, I swear. Except your cock is much bigger,'' you smirked.
He blushed again, to which you laughed soundly. ''Y/N, don't embarrass me!'' Yeosang whined. ''I'm sorry angel, I'll make you feel good now.'' You took off your top, revealing your black lacy bra before you took his cock into your hand. You gently slid your tongue over the tip of his dick while looking Yeosang in the eyes. He whimpered softly and bit his lip, full of anticipation. ''Don't worry about lasting long baby,'' you commented before you took him into your mouth.
Your lips parted beautifully around his cock and he grunted at the sight of it. Bobbing your hair up and down, you coated his long shaft with saliva. You hollowed your cheeks and sucked while your hands fondled his balls. ''Y/N, oh God,'' he moaned out, leaning back a little. One of his hands ran through your hair and by the heavy twitching of his dick you knew he would definitely not last long. But considering he was a virgin and new to all this pleasure you did not mind at all, in fact, you were proud you're able to get him off so quickly.
In a matter of seconds his moans grew louder and he burst, spilling himself into your mouth. You let go of his cock and swallowed his cum with a smirk as you watched him regain his breath. ''God, You are amazing Y/N,'' he smiled. You grinned and got up, undressing yourself until you were naked in front of him.
''Take a good look if you want, Sangie,'' you said as he admired your bare body. ''You're beautiful,'' he smiled, and you knew it was genuine. ''Do you wanna touch me?'' you asked. Yeosang looked nervous and he looked down. ''I don't know how to do all that...''
You caressed his cheek softly and he looked back at you again. ''Honey, I can teach you all that. Let me ride you first, hm? We've got time,'' you assured him. Yeosang nodded and laid against your pillows. ''Like this?'' he asked. You nodded and took a condom from your drawer, rolling it down his shaft. ''Perfect, babe.''
Yeosang put his hands on your hips when you positioned yourself on top of him. ''Are you ready, Yeosang?'' ''Yes, I am... I want you,'' he breathed out, his hands running up to your breasts, cupping them gently. You smiled at the sweet boy, knowing you were about to take his virginity and teach him about all the kinds of pleasure you could bring each other.
You let yourself sink down on his cock, moaning at the stretch of him inside you. ''Look at that baby, you fit so well, such a pretty cock for me to ride, for me to fuck,'' you moaned when you started rolling your hips. Yeosang moaned and threw his head back, overwhelmed with the pleasure of being inside your wet cunt. Even with the condom on he felt like he got swallowed in by your warmth, like electricity in his body. You fucked yourself on his cock, bouncing up and down just the way you liked it.
''How's that baby? How does that feel?'' you panted out. He just nodded eagerly as he whimpered, overwhelmed with pleasure. The sound of your skin slapping together was like music to your ears. ''You know what you can do baby?'' His eyes met yours when you took one of his hands and pressed his fingers on your exposed clit. You cleaned back slightly to give him a clearer view of your pussy.
''Rub here, circle it,'' you told him, and Yeosang quickly obeyed. He rubbed your clit in circles and switched from slow to fast from time to time as you kept moving up and down his cock. ''Oh that's it baby, so good for me, such a good boy!'' ''Fuck, Y/N, I t-think I'm coming again! I'm gonna come!'' ''Come for me, Sangie, rub my clit fast and we'll come together, hm? Harder baby, yes that's it, that's it! Fuck you're such a good boy, I'm coming with you baby, right there, right there!''
With only a single movement you felt an orgasm wash over you and you moaned out his name. Yeosang whimpered and twitched inside you as your pussy clenched down on him. He spilled his cum into the condom and panted out your name. ''Fuck,'' he cursed. He looked so beautiful, all fucked out you swore he did look like a Greek God.
''You've been so perfect, little scientist boy,'' you grinned as you got off his cock. ''Ah, don't call me that, aren't I a man now?'' he laughed cutely. You grinned and shook your head. ''No. Virginity doesn't determine your manliness baby, don't worry about that. You're all man.'' ''Well... This man really enjoyed it... Thank you for doing this for me.'' ''Well thank you for letting me and giving me a good time too. What about a second round of getting physical right away?'' ''Y/N. That's a horrible pun but I'll take it.''
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temis-de-leon · 3 days
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Shy gn!reader confesses to the Dateables
Characters: Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon and Simeon (x reader, separately)
Masterlist
Anon request: Could I request headcanons for Diavolo, Barbatos, Solomon, and Simeon react to shy gn crush confessing to him nervously?
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A/N: I made this so the Dateables were already crushing on the reader for a while, but it's the reader who confesses. Once again, Simeon gave me no inspiration and yet his section was the one I enjoyed the most
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Diavolo
He’s used to loneliness and sacrifices, dedicating his limited free time to a small inner circle that he’s unable to expand. The rest of his devotions goes to his dreams and his duties, and that includes, above many other things, the student exchange program.
The only human he personally knows is Solomon and everybody is aware of the sorcerer’s peculiar personality, so he’s quick to accept that you’re going to be different from everything he’s ever known.
He just didn’t know how much.
You build a friendship with him, treating him without inhibitions while still respecting him. You accept and join his childish whims, ask for his advice in more serious matters and speak your mind without fear.
You make him feel normal, helping his love for you grow slow but steady over a strong foundation.
But then your behaviour around him changes and he feels completely lost. There’s a sort of restraint he’s never seen in you, your recent silence and your avoidance to look at him in the eye making him wonder in hurt if you finally know enough about him to be afraid.
Diavolo feels his heart sink when you ask to speak to him in private and he’s willing to accept he has lost you.
How wrong he is.
Your confession leaves him speechless, but the more you talk with a stammer while twisting your fingers, the more he feels his cheeks blush.
He doesn’t confess back. He directly asks you out on a date.
Barbatos
His duty to the Young Master doesn’t feel like a sacrifice to him. It’s an honour he’s glad to act in, so, although he likes to keep some free time for his private life, Barbatos is more than happy to set Lord Diavolo above everything else.
He doesn’t pay you much attention at first, given that there’s little to no connexion between you two. In fact, the first few times you hang out together outside official matters it’s always organized by someone else, mainly Luke.
The young angel enjoys baking and even his prejudices decrease upon the demon’s talents in the kitchen.
He also enjoys spending time with MC.
So he combines both of those things. That’s how Barbatos gets to know you better.
He revels in the discovery of your resilience and your kindness despite what surrounds you. Your smile while measuring ingredients with Luke, your attentiveness at his teaching.
He knows Lord Diavolo appreciates him and thanks his presence, but you’re the first one to treat him so… highly? You admire him, you hear him, you seek him.
His busy mind and busy schedule give him almost no time to ruminate his feelings, but he can’t run away for much longer.
It’s around the same time he finally accepts his need to be with you that you start to fidget around him. He sees you looking at him under your lashes, timidly smiling and looking at him when you think he isn’t paying attention.
Your feelings are obvious to him, but he lets himself enjoy the situation for as long as possible. It’s too adorable to let go.
When you finally gather the courage you need to confess and it’s his turn to be sincere, his words are worth more than a hundred romance books.
Solomon
At the beginning, his interest in you is entirely academic. A regular human living amongst the most powerful demons of the Devildom? Now, that is something worth his while!
Witnessing first-hand how your humanity is put to the test on the daily is fun at first, but then again… You still have humanity. Once lost, it wouldn’t come back.
He ultimately decides to side with you. It makes him feel a little better too.
Although you both have a cordial relationship, barely a friendship, he isn’t your priority. To be fair, you aren’t his either, so he can’t complain.
But then time passes and his infatuation starts to grow.
You remind him of better things. Those he lost long time ago and those he knows he’s incapable of reaching. You make him want to be better, to try and to be someone that you could be prouder of.
He uses his vast knowledge to compete for your attention. His stories and his studies, his vulnerability slowly showing to you. It’s difficult, but you’re worth it.
He knows it’s working when you go out of your way to spend time with him, a difficult task when half of your roommates, if not all of them, don’t trust him at all. That makes him elated, but insecure at the same time.
He doesn’t know how to move things forward without spoiling them, so he waits until you make the first move. When the moment comes, he forces himself to memorize every second of it.
Solomon doesn’t want to forget your timid expression or the way you can’t decide what to say to put your feelings on display. He doesn’t want to forget the wide smile you show when he reciprocates your affections.
Simeon
He cares for you since the beginning, even before forming a friendship. It’s in his nature to be kind and caring and he can’t help but to act on it with you.
Your personality immediately draws him closer. How positive you are despite your situation as well as your determination to keep going forward, proving the demons wrong.
Simeon feels a strange satisfaction whenever Lucifer’s brow twitches at your misdeeds.
It’s thanks to Luke, who wants to keep two of his favourite people close, that he gets the chance to know you better.
He enjoys every occasion you visit Purgatory Hall. Sometimes you’re invited by Luke to help him cook, study or even make puzzles; and other times is Simeon himself who asks you to spend time with them.
The evenings you manage to have dinner with them are the most fulfilling for him.
He’s never felt a love so strong before, but he’s a world renounced writer and a romantic at heart, so the only thing he’s capable of doing in this situation is to pour his affections and hope for you to accept his heart.
The conclusion reaches an end when he manages to reset his DDD yet again.
Luke, although irritated at him, manages to call you before going to the castle to hung out with Barbatos, but Simeon doesn’t mind. More than that, he prefers it.
The sole idea of being alone with you brings warmth to his heart, after all.
He knows you feel the same too. Seeing the light in your eyes, the curve of your smile and the tenderness in your shy-filled whispers is enough for him to know.
You don’t even have time to confess on your own.
Simeon asks with a sweet voice if his interpretations of your feelings are correct. If they are, bless his heart, he feels the very same.
.
.
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watcherthrowaway · 1 day
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also one real post about this and like, plenty of ink has been spilt on how disconnected watcher entertainment seems to be from its fans but i think the missing piece here is how disconnected watcher is from the rest of youtube. when the catastrophe hit i went to all my terminally online friends, the same way i did after the hbomberguy james somerton video, or after the ned fulmer fiasco, or the creepshowart scandal etc, or every time jenny nicholson dropped a new evermore video, including the ones behind the $2 patreon paywall we all gladly pay for, and for the first time...
no one knew who i was talking about.
these are not insulated people. these are people i can trust to have at least name recognition of almost any youtuber i mention. they know downtherabbithole and strangeaeons and cjthex and kappakaiju and miniminuteman773 and kazrowe and somemorenews etc etc etc
so when i put in the group chat, with no context, 'he wasnt even on cribs' or 'we have no cats kathleen' or 'only humble pagan commune schemes' or whatever, i usually do so with great trust that at least half the group will know what im on about.
this time, crickets.
i backpedaled a little and pulled up the 'ive connected them' meme and the fuzzy blue professor, and i got nothing at all. the only recognition i got was when someone belatedly realized that he had seen the goatman video when it dropped (although he had no idea that they had their own company now), and another person remembered that they had offered to collab with danny gonzalez, a youtuber with twice the subscribers
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because she had checked back to see if danny went ghost hunting again, and lost interest because he hadnt.
i also brought it up in my dedicated buzzfeed unsolved group chat but ummmmm i am the only one in that group still watching ever since the shift to watcher oops
the only splash they had made in my again, TERMINALLY ONLINE friend group that watches hours and hours of youtube a day was a buzzfeed video seven years ago, and when they had failed to collab with someone more famous than them. i found myself in the unusual position of having to explain the situation to a bunch of dirty internet gremlins, all of whom heard the whole story and said 'why would they do that'
not 'why would they do that to their fans' but 'why would they do that as youtubers'
even aside from the moneygrubbing, we watcher stans were confused about why they tried to offer us a service we didn't need or want, and i think it obscured the confusion on why they thought it was a good idea at all, when so many other models were available to them. why werent they using their patreon like other youtubers? why weren't they collaborating with other youtubers? why weren't they putting out regular, lower quality content like other youtubers? if they wanted higher quality content, why weren't they partnering with nebula, like lindsay ellis, or netflix, like bo burnham. why didn't they run their ideas past someone like the green brothers, who have jumpstarted scishow and many other similar projects successfully, and are famously good to work with/consult with? why would they try to pull a roosterteeth? don't they know what happened?
and i think the answer is no. i think they just don't know those things. and they didnt bother to check, because they think all those things are beneath them. because they think corporate content is the only worthwhile kind there is.
why else would they think they have to have an office building, keep dozens of people on staff, buy expensive cameras, and build a streaming platform? why do they only collaborate with actors and singers who have corporate entertainment approval? why are they reinventing the wheel on buzzfeed when thousands of youtubers build perfectly stable careers with a mic and a camera, and sometimes hire an editor?
i guess my takeaway from this is that, at least they didnt break my heart as a fan entirely because they fundamentally misunderstood me. they did it, at least in part, because they do not understand how youtube works, or what part they play in it.
they dont understand how people use youtube. it is not a cinematic event worthy of the big tv, it is line goes up playing in the background for the 400th time as i wash my face and put my laundry away.
that is why they spent months and months planning this without ever noticing it was a bad idea, while millions of youtube viewers knew instantly. thats why they didn't start with a more moderate solution, why they never used their patreon properly, why they cared so much about the production value, why they thought a youtube audience, any audience at all, would jump at the chance to leave youtube.
bc youtube as a creator sucks, and we all know that, but youtube as a viewer is extremely comfortable. all i ask of youtube is to be mildly interesting in the background while i do other stuff. it is filler. some of the filler is extremely good, yes, but there is no room or reason in my life to give more of my money and attention to my filler, let alone to get a bigger screen for it.
and honestly, this is why i and others stayed on with the ghoul boys even though their quality dropped. because it's filler. im not even looking at the screen you apparently spent 100k on. im flipping my eggs. im washing my hair. im waiting for the bus with my headphones in and my phone in my pocket. thank you for being my background music. in return i will sit through your ads and push your view counter up by one. i may even hit the like button by accident bc my phone is in my pocket.
this is not to say i dont enjoy my filler. i would absolutely die without it. but it is not and never will be exchanged for the instances when i make popcorn in The Big Bowl and turn on a Real Movie on the Big Screen (my old laptop that is 15 whole inches) with my phone turned over so nothing can distract me.
my filler can't be my movie, and vice versa. nor should it be. but watcher doesnt understand that, apparently. they think youtube is cruelly preventing them from being netflix, and they think we want netflix, and they don't understand that, even with that half-assed apology that they didn't explain their dream correctly and they are jsut so destitute they had to take extreme measures after they went to europe 6 too many times...
there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how people use youtube , both as creators and as consumers. they didn't just misunderstand their fanbase. they continue to misunderstand the entire ecosystem. idk guys. maybe you should have learned something from those youtubers that you apparently think you are too good for.
and as for me, welp. i've booted people from my filler line-up for less. and there are soooooooooooooo many other fish in the sea, and they are not asking me to pay them 27 corporation salaries from my own pocket. they are asking for me to bump their view counter up by one.
goodbye boys. i really hope you find a way to fulfill yourselves artistically or whatever. but you have burned this particular bridge, like. forever. and i don't think i'm the only one who feels that way.
and not because i dont support people getting a living wage, you guilt-tripping vultures, or because i dont believe in following dreams and wishing on stars and whatnot.
but because i prefer to consume content from people who know what they're doing, and i simply no longer trust that includes you.
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astreia-oniria · 3 days
Text
MCL NEW GEN THEORY(S)
But Astreia, surely it's too soon to start making theories! NO IT'S NOT, IT'S NEVER TOO SOON FOR ME.
I've been dying to share this theory(s) since the game came out last week, but my Tumblr wasn't working properly. Now that it's apparently fixed I can't wait to share and see what you all think. Will you agree? Will you think I've gone mental? We'll find out 😂
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WARNING: the following text contains spoilers of the first two episodes of MCL New Gen. Do not keep reading if you haven't played Episode 2 (or well you can continue reading under your responsability if you don't care about spoilers).
Let me precede this by saying that this isn't a full-fledged theory. Since we're only two episodes into the game, I don't have enough evidence to back this up completely, so I'm calling it an inkling rather than a proper theory.
My inkling/theory is about Jason, Roy, Devon and how their enmity goes beyond just a professional rivalry. It's kind of divided into two parts or two inklings/theories:
THE FACTS (PART 1: ROY'S ROLE IN DEVENEMENTIEL)
Let's start with what we learn from Roy.
He says he and Devon grew up together, went to college together and decided to embark on a bussiness together (though it wasn't his true calling).
But why would he get involved into something that wasn't his true calling? Was it only because of Devon's influence? Roy says Devon's mother babysitted and he spent quite some time with him back then, so maybe Roy's parents are wealthy and he's the investor or equity partner behind Devenementiel.
When Amanda is telling Ysaline "it's the boss who decides", Roy appears and says "are you talking about me?".
This is curious because he clearly heard what she was saying, but made that jab anyway. Was it possible that he wasn't joking? That he was joking by telling the truth?
After that, he says he's Devon's second in charge.
Yes, maybe Devon put him in that position because Roy is his friend, but that isn't professional if Roy only knows about sport events.
Amanda continues by saying he's wrong and that he's like the rest of the team, but Roy answers by saying "well, not exactly like the rest... well, whatever".
It looks like he was going to say more, like he's refering to not being actually at the same level as the rest of the team.
This isn't a huge detail but he calls Devon "the big boss" and you normaly use that term when there are more bosses around.
He kind of deflects Ysaline's question about wheter he's only in charge of sport events.
He is in the New Palace meeting, something that doesn't involve sports. Apart from Ysaline, the meeting seems to involve bosses/owners (Jason, Devon, the New Palace's owner...) and not team members.
CONCLUSION 1:
I really think Roy is co-founder and co-owner of Devenementiel and that he might be the one who financed the company. I think he's also our boss but he is playing coy about it. Knowing what we do about him, I don't think he likes the normal boss-like relationships with his employees and prefers to be "in the field" with them, being part of their team, and leaving other matters to Devon. That would make sense for a guy with his attitude.
THE FACTS (PART 2: THE HOSTILITY BETWEEN DEVON, ROY & JASON)
Now let's see what we learn from the whole Devenementiel vs. Goldreamz situation:
Roy is extremely upset and angry at anything Jason or Goldreamz.
This might be normal between rivals, but I can't help but think Roy's reactions are too extreme and there seems to be some kind of resentment.
Roy calls Jason "cheater and thief" and specifies that it's not only in relation to Danica.
This is what got me thinking hard about everything, because Roy went too far and if it's not about Danica, then about what could it be? Of course, it could be about Goldreamz getting their deals, but again it reads like too much for a professional rivalry.
Jason refers to Roy as Devon's guardian dog.
Not super important, but I get the feeling that Jason, Devon and Roy knows each other too well, and that Jason says this like it irks him. Could it be some bitterness?
Devon says to the New Palace's owner that "we've crossed paths already" refering to Jason.
This could just be something normal to say, but he doesn't add anything about their paths crossing because of bussiness. So maybe he's referencing knowing each other for a long time because of other motives.
Jason showing up and trying way too hard to get in Devenementiel's way.
It could be for the sake of the story, but isn't it too much? Could there be other reasons behind his behaviour?
CONCLUSION 2:
This is the "inkling" part of the theory, I guess. I have a hunch that Devon, Roy and Jason not only have known each other for a long time, but that they were actually friends. I think that maybe Jason was one of the other kids Devon's mother babysitted or that maybe they met in college, that they started their journeys and careers together. I think Jason and Devon (who are clearly more into events production & management than Roy) had this dream of starting a company and that Roy got on board with their friends so they could all work and be together. And I think something went horribly worng in the process.
I think that whatever happened between them might have been a misunderstanding relating to projects and/or money (hence the cheater and thief comment), something that framed Jason and turned Devon and Roy against him and in turn made Jason bitter about their friends not believing him.
Having this into account, there are a few possibilities that I can think off:
They founded Goldreamz, Devon and Roy left and Jason got the company (another posssible reson for Roy callin him thief), so Devon and Roy founded Devenementiel.
They founded Devenementiel and Jason was forced to leave, so he founded Goldreamz for revenge (and paying the bills obviously).
Everything happened at the early stages of creating a company, so maybe an external investor or something gave the project to one of them (possibly Jason) because they weren't sure about the others, and this was seen as a betrayal.
If anything about my theory proves to be right, then Ysaline will be able to get to the core of this a resolve the misunderstanding, getting Devon, Roy and Jason to make up (not before having us siding with someone and making drama 😂). This could lead to the future fusion of both Devenementiel and Goldreamz and a happy ending for all the characters.
And that's it, that's all. If I see more evidence in future episodes I will update this. So what do you say, have I read too much into everything? Do you agree with my theory or have anything to add to it? Let me know what you guys think.
I think that you should go out more and stop overanalyzing games, Astreia.
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allicat0 · 10 hours
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haiiiii 👋
love ur work! could u write a toji x reader ? if u could include oral s3x pls its my fav! have him f!ngering her while making out 😍😍 and maybe he can be an older brothers bestfriend so they have to be sneaky 😏 thanks so much xx
Ticking time Bomb
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Ans: thank you so much and of course I’ve been dying to write something.
Summary: As your brother went out to get some food, you and his best friend Toji race the clock, seeing if he can make you cum before your brother returns.
Content: MDNI!, afab reader, 18+, smut, Toji x reader, oral sex, receiving, fingering, making out, trying not to be caught, praise, swearing
A/N: This prompt always gets me, I eat up a brothers best friend trop this one is shorter than most of my other ones hope that's okay.
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You and your brother had been left alone, the two of you finally had the house all to yourselves as your parents had left on a business trip for the next three days. Though there was a twist, since the two of you had the place alone, your brother jumped at the opportunity to bring his friends over, one of those friends being Toji, how you couldn’t stand him. He was a cold and shielded guy, always smoking, getting himself into trouble, always picking on you and getting under your skin, he was a disturbance of your peace everytime he was over. But you couldn’t lie, he was a good looking guy and he had charm, it got to you each and every time finding yourself in the same situation, over and over again.
It was evident that you were bored, sprawled out across your bed in the dark, the only light in the room was coming from your phone illuminating onto your face. Your stomach let out a low rumbling sound that emanates from your abdomen, causing a sigh to escape your lips sitting up and off of your bed. You were hungry and you knew your brother wasn’t gonna make anything so, you went to ask if he was gonna get take out. As you made your way down to the basement your eyes automatically locked on Toji, sprawled out across the couch blowing a cloud of smoke from his mouth. He noticed your presence, his head turning to face you, taking another drag from his cigarette. 
“you looking for someone darling?” ugh that fucking nickname, as much as you wanted to say you hated it. You’d be lying. “I'm just looking for my brother.” You said leaning against the doorframe doing your best to keep the annoyance out of your voice. “What are you even doing here, come to bother me some more?” you asked him, crossing your arms. A cloud of smoke escaped his lips as he chuckled, “And what if I said yes, what if I said I like to come over just to see you?” his eyes locked on yours for a second before continuing. “Anyways, your brother is busy, went out to get some food.” You nodded your head taking in what he said, good thing you were really hungry. “Alright sounds good, see yah” You said turning on your heels quickly walking up the stairs. Toji quickly sat up and put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the table. “Hey- hey wait a second.” He said quickly following you up the stairs. 
You did your best to ignore him, and made your way over to your room opening the door, but he was quick to reach his hand up and close it. “What are you doing?” You asked, looking up at his hand keeping your door shut. Toji’s eyes were burning into the top of your head, keeping silent for a moment. “You know. .” He said in a cold whisper, you felt as his free hand moved down, gently placing itself onto your hips. “We have some time till your brother comes back. .”Toji said, whispering into your ear, a chill rushing through your body. “Toji. we can’t” You let out in a low whine. His face leans down moving past your hair, his warm breath hitting up against your neck. “I know you want to.” 
You turned around to face him, he fixed his posture so he was staring down at you. Your mind was racing, it couldn’t be long before your brother was home, but you totally could be quick. . and he’d never know. It's not like you haven’t done it before. “Okay. but qui-” Toji didn’t even give you time to finish your sentence, he opened your door and shut it behind him, guiding you over to your bed. Your back pressed against your bed as Toji’s lips firmly pressed against your own. He left you not a single moment to think, before he was pulling both your pants and panties down in one quick motion. His fingers began trailing down your stomach and reaching for your inner thighs, spreading them apart, giving him full access to your most private area. “You’re so wet for me," he murmured against your skin, his breath warm and heavy.
With one swift motion, he inserted both his index and middle finger inside you, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from you. As he continued to pump his fingers into you slowly, his tongue pushed past your lips, lapping with yours. Toji grinned into the kiss as he felt your pussy clamp down around his fingers, you were close to cumming and he could feel it. His fingers pulled out of you pushing them into your mouth. “Taste yourself for my pretty girl” he said to you with a shit eating grin, and that you did, sucking your juices off of his fingers. “Why did you stop?” you let out muffled.
“Because baby, I want you to cum on my tongue” Toji said as he began moving down in between your legs, planting soft kisses against your thighs, he was about to devour you with his mouth. It wasn’t long before a gentle kiss was placed against your pussy. His tongue darted out, flicking at your clit gently before plunging inside you. You arched your back, your nails digging into the sheets as pleasure coursed through your body. Toji continued his assault, his tongue working in perfect harmony.
You bit your bottom lip trapping in your moans just in case your brother came home, every now and again they would escape. They sounded like symphonies to Tojis ears. His pace began to pick up your orgasm right around the corner as it was before, the knot building up in your core. You could feel it, you were on the edge when you heard the front door open. A course of panic went through your body as well as pleasure. You didn’t know what to do. It wouldn't be long until your brother came in looking for Toji. “Toji stop hes-he home” You said doing your best to push his head away but he didn’t budge.
His tongue began to pick up the pace, his fingers dipping back into your wet pussy, pumping in and out of you, in perfect sync with his tongue. Your hands coming up to your mouth as you wanted to block out any foreign sound that was to leave your mouth. You could hear your brother moving throughout the house, as the knot in your stomach was about to burst. As you were about to cum Toji slipped his fingers out once more using just his tongue to make you cum.
“Oh fuck” You moaned into your hands feeling as you finally gave into the release. You were cumming on his tongue, exactly what he wanted. Your legs were shaking as Toji pulled his head away from between your legs, licking your juices off of his lips. “Your fucking beautiful baby” he said to you softly. 
The two of you heard as the door knob to your door began to turn, you quickly put the blanket over top of your bottom half and Toji sat on the edge of the bed. “There you are.” your brother said, sounding annoyed from the hunt to find his friend. “What are you doing in my sister's room?” he asked, sounding somewhat confused. “Got bored,” Toji said, shrugging. “ Well come on, the food’s here.” Your brother said stepping out of your room walking away. Your fell back crashing against your pillow with a sigh. “That was too close.”
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@allicat0 signing off. .
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storiesbyjes2g · 2 days
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3.112 Cutting ties
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Love Day came upon us again, and it was so nice to have someone to celebrate with. Someone to celebrate, period. Sophia and I rarely did things traditionally, and I continued that trend by asking her out on a breakfast date. I suggested Vivianna's because it was the first place that came to mind, and I really liked their food. But Sophia was in goofball mode and said I wanted to see my girlfriend. I didn't like her saying that, but I loved seeing her in high spirits in those days, so I let it ride. When we got there, the host seated us at the same table from last time, and that sent her even more.
"It's a sign, Luca! If she's our server again, it's means you were meant to be."
I shook my head at her.
"You are way too high on life right now."
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She gasped, still giggling at her silly joke.
"Luca! She's here! I think she's coming this way!"
I was still shaking my head when Yasmine walked up.
"Happy Love Day," she said drily. "Y'all don't have restaurants in Oasis Springs?"
"Of course we do," Sophia said before I had a chance to even think of a response. "But we love this one."
"Hmph. You must really love this food. I wouldn't unfriend someone and still show up at their job. Are you ready to order?"
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Sophia looked at me in surprise but also trying to hide more giggles.
"Uhh...yeah, we're ready," I said, unsure if I should even respond to the first part.
When I finally looked at her, I saw her face matched her dry tone. Generally, she wasn't the cheeriest sim, but something was off. Granted, I was probably the last sim she wanted to see, but she should have been over that. Something else had to be going on, and I asked if she was okay.
"What do you care? I can't do this right now. I'll send someone else."
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She hurried away into the kitchen, leaving us utterly confused.
"What in the world was that?" Sophia asked. "And you unfriended her?"
"Yeah! She's been sending me mean messages ever since-"
"You broke up?"
"Would you stop with that?? She wasn't my girlfriend!"
I couldn't understand why she found this situation so amusing. It annoyed me, but her laughter was so contagious. I couldn't help but laugh, too.
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"Did she look different to you?" I asked.
"Sure did. I think she's pregnant."
"Pregnant? Yasmine? No way."
"She's definitely pregnant, babe."
"How do you know? She's not showing."
"Women know these things!"
"Hmph. Some sims don't need to be parents," I said under my breath. At least I thought I did.
"Luca!"
"What? It's true. She doesn't want kids right now. And she's mean...self-absorbed... Can you imagine her raising children?"
"I mean...I don't disagree, but... It's still not a nice thing to say. Maybe taking care of someone else will be good for her."
Nice or not, I meant every word. It was hard not to get upset about it. Sims all around us kept popping up pregnant unexpectedly while Sophia and I woohoo'd each other's brains out to no avail. WE want a baby! Why won't it happen for us? It wasn't fair. But I didn't want to ruin our date with my petty, jealous thoughts. That rant would have to remain in my head.
"Anyway... You excited about moving tomorrow?"
"You know it! I can hardly believe it."
"Yeah, seriously. I've been thinking about that house for so long... I have to keep reminding myself this is real life."
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My Social Bunny chime went off, so I checked to see who sent me a message.
"Oh...it's Maira."
"Why do you say it like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're surprised your friend is messaging you."
"I'm not surprised. It's just...I don't know. Every time I hear from her, I feel bad."
"How come?"
"Because I'm such a bad friend to her."
Sophia's lip quivered.
"I highly doubt that."
"It's true though! I never call her. She's always the one reaching out. Even back in the day it was like that. When I was open to dating her-well, she says we did date, but whatever. I got mixed signals, so I kinda stopped putting energy into our friendship. Then I met Yasmine-"
"While you were talking to me," she said sarcastically.
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Like a light switch flicking on, I understood why she continued to joke about me and Yasmine. She still felt some kind of way about realizing she wasn't the only one I was talking to, and this was her brand of petty behavior. I shook my head because I knew she would never let that go, and the jokes were a permanent part of our marriage.
"Yes, I was talking to you. I met Yasmine and Chi Chi-"
"I thought you didn't date her."
"I didn't. She came to my classes a lot and invited me to her house a few times."
She eyed me suspiciously, but I continued my story.
"Dating, having female friends, and all of that was new to me. I didn't know how to say no to her. I couldn't say no to her; you know how she is. And I was talking to you on top of dealing with my own issues... It was a crazy time, and I didn't know how to handle it all, so I ended up neglecting Maira. I feel bad because it wasn't like that in the beginning."
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"You didn't have any distractions then."
"Yeah...that's true."
"Do you think it's time to let her go? Everyone's not meant to be in your life forever."
"I know. That might be part of the issue. I want to be a good friend while being respectful to you, but I honestly don't know how she fits into my life anymore. But severing the relationship? I don't think I want to do that. At least not yet."
"Okay." She turned back to her food and took a few bites before a very obvious idea let up her face. "Since we're moving now, we should do a combo celebration! We can turn my birthday party into a housewarming party! Invite her to that."
"Oooh good thinking! You know I married you for your brains."
"Ah ha! The truth comes out."
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caeslxys · 2 years
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also on the topic of meaningful consequences re: character death I don't understand the take that death in fantasy requires physical permanency to matter or give a story "stakes". death is permanent regardless. Do you really think that if they get her back, they'll just go back to normal? That these characters are not forever fundamentally changed from this, that Laudna will not be fundamentally changed from this?
That Imogen's world will be less fractured, that she won't be even more of an anxious wreck now that what she stands to lose has been put into vivid clarity? That Orym won't still carry the guilt of being the chosen, that he will be less haunted by the connections he drew to his own grief with Will to Imogen's with Laudna? That Fearne won't look at Laudna and think of that coin flip, of her choice, and what that means for her and how she loves? That FCG and Ashton won't think to this and be reminded of the people they've hurt or been hurt by, and what this effort and what this grief means for how they view the hells?
That Laudna, who has been so blasé about life and if she's alive and what being alive even means for someone like her, won't wake up surrounded by family and by love and be driven to reexamine everything she's taught herself in 28 years of isolation to cope with the trauma of Whitestone? That this, maybe, will be the driving force she needed to realize that there are things she wants to live for?
It might be that I'm just biased, but I'm not sure what stakes Laudna perma-dying adds aside from just presenting the characters with the knowledge they all already have that they can, in fact, die. that what they're up against is incomprehensibly powerful and dangerous. The stakes already feel so impossibly high when you think of what and who they are preparing to face. frankly the aftermath of this combat alone, even if everything had gone perfect and everyone had gotten back up a-okay, would have set that tone.
I don't know, regardless I'll be happy to watch whatever story they choose to tell unfold as it does, but it strikes me that so many people seem to think that death only matters if there is a physical absence.
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coffeewithcalypso · 7 months
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I need autumn to come and save me. I'm such in a shitty headspace right now, I need that breeze and temp drop and fall vibes to come and save me
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thethingything · 2 months
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we have a dentist appointment tomorrow and on the plus side we're not really anxious about the appointment itself because the dentist was so nice last time and actually took our medical trauma into account.
unfortunately though we do have to have anaesthetic which makes us feel like shit for at least the rest of the day, and no matter how considerate the dentist is, having a medical professional touch us at all does still trigger certain trauma and then I end up having a bunch of panic attacks at some point within the next few days and it's a really shit time. I really don't wanna have to deal with that and the concept of it is making me nauseous
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#<- kinda#medical trauma#(this turned into a long rant about medical trauma and consent so here's your warning for that if you read the tags)#I didn't like medical professionals touching me anyway but ever since the stuff last April when we went to the hospital#it's been a way bigger issue and I end up being an absolute wreck for a while because of it#I cannot begin to express how much I do not want a medical professional touching me at all but especially not in my mouth#and any other situation where someone shoves their fingers in your mouth when you don't want them to would be considered really violating#but because it's for medical reasons and we have to put up with it if we actually want treatment nobody around us seems to see it like that#same goes for various other medical procedures where it's like if a stranger touched me like that when I really didn't want them to#in any other situation that would be assault but because it's a medical setting I'm expected to just be okay with it???#idk I probably haven't explained any of this right but I just don't like that people treat medical stuff as a special scenario#that's exempt from causing the same distress as any other scenario where someone touches you when you don't want them to#even though our brain is processing them the same way and we can't magically make that not happen#I know technically with medical procedures you (usually?) consent#but it's like... the choice is either consent to it or have your health keep getting worse#and once again in any other situation if your choices were to either consent or experience physical harm#that wouldn't really be considered consent and would be really distressing#I'm literally only consenting out of fear of what happens if I don't which... technically isn't consent but what choice do I have#idk this stuff is probably an issue specifically because of our trauma#but even still I would like to be taken seriously when I say I feel violated after medical procedures
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todayisafridaynight · 9 months
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The bookmark tag was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks but To Be Real even I forgot what it was...
BUT YEAH thanks so much for reading and I'm glad it's :] Intelligible At Least :] obviously I would be up for reading anything that came to mind after putting you and your followers through All That but understandable... A lot of people I've shown the checklist items or pointed out specific behaviors to have actually said similar [i.e. I'm In This Picture And I Don't Like It], so I totally get what you mean, too!
I think a lot of my picks wound up being generalized trauma responses/aftereffects of abuse or neglect [hence I meandered off into just talking about Jo's father half the time], so I guess it's to be expected a lot of them don't read as being CSA-specific or are broadly relatable; it's not like he's supposed to be read that way, after all. I just wasn't able to zero in on many of the more specific ones because I've Never Seen Jo In This Situation Chief I Don't Know What He Thinks About His Name Or His Body Or Mirrors Or Sex Or Affection I Don't Know How Well Or Poorly He Sleeps [Presumably Poorly Though He Has The Second-Reddest Eyes In The Whole Game]
I don't really think I'll have anything to add though unless Infinite Wealth goes off the rails or I actually continue reading the book... so that will have to do... I originally was just riffing on RGGJo's attachment issues, self-destructiveness, and specific entwinement of sexuality/aggression/romance, and his portrayal in my fic lined up pretty closely, so I thought it'd be interesting to apply the same lens to Y7Jo...
But Yeah x2 thank you for the opportunity to talk about it and I'm Glad It's Intelligible At Least x2
THANK YOU i really should change that tag to something better... <- i will immediately forget to do so like a jackass
BUT YA OF COURSE OF COURSE i was truthful when i said it was a real good read (but once again. i have -5 speech skills so i can't properly word SHIT) and was a thorough examination of jo's trauma and how it manifests in him and how it's exhibited through his actions. ALWAYS a big fan of that :)
#snap chats#IN REGARDS TO Jo In Situations that is. VAGUELY my specialty#ive at least thought of jo's attitudes towards affection/relationships#and i Do Not Think he sleeps AS adequately as he should whether it's due to just. Overworking or#If I May Dare To Think he might be prone to night terrors#the Danger Zone of me thinking of Jo In Situations that dont have a lot of background is that i end up projecting a LOT of my issues LMAO#i dont know what it says about me when a lot of those issues seem to fit him#i do try my best NOT to over project of course i try to keep everyone relatively in the bounds of believability to their charas#which is why its funny when i do end up doin a lil projection it works out. Apparently#not sure i could do the same when it comes to jo's POV on his name and body tho. i hate those things bout myself for uh#VERY different reasons LMAOO tho i could imagine jo harboring some feelings of. hm. whats the word.#not Total Disgust But Some and Some Agitation whenever he has to acknowledge he exists outside of being a tool. To Put It Bluntly#cause we know he sees himself as a tool in some aspects- a bullet more specifically. so i can imagine instances where he has to Be A Human#its just. Ew Whats That LMAO YK WHAT I MEAN i do. i know what i mean. mirrors are evil#SORRY IM RAMBLING i shouldnt be.. i got gameritis <- i fucked up my wrists playing sonic riders somehow and it hurts to move#point is i very much enjoy thinking of jo and i enjoy looking at him through a multitude of lenses so AGAIN#thank you much for writing in :] im sorry i have three jewel beetles and a cicada shell for a brain#i am always interested in reading what you have to say tho... cant stress that enough..#truly curious for how jo will be in infinite wealth now that he Doesnt have to be a bullet anymore. what are you like my guy.. lemme see..#now pardon me while i fuck up my wrists more. i do not want to do my job today (i will soon im just delaying the inevitable. as a treat)
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current mood :/
#just feel like being dramatic pay no mind#i truly just need to go to sleep and i’ll be fine for at least a little while#i’m just frustrated with myself i feel so fucking stupid all the time and then keep putting myself in the same situation over and over again#insane shit#also just like motherfucker how are you so unaware of the shit you do and say like fucking hell#and like do you even give a fuck about me in any meaningful way or am i just an npc you can summon when you’re bored or need something#but at the same time i feel like i’m always bothering you god everything is so fucked#BUT YOU’RE LITERALLY SO CONTENT AND THAT’S WHATS REALLY FUCKED#quite literally how the fuck am i not over this i’m so tired and maybe i should’ve taken some space in december#but if i had i feel like we would’ve lost touch#and now we’re way closer than before but i can’t stop wanting shit that i can’t have and it’s pathetic#so i guess im just doomed like holy shit i want to be dating someone to move tf on but i truly don’t give a fuck about these tinder people#and like i said friends is fine and i meant it but i didn’t think it’d be so fucking hard#and with all the time we spend together like why tf don’t we just give it a shot just to see like fuck you’re not even a little curious#like am i that awful#i just wish i could care exactly the same amount as you do#i don’t wanna not be friends i’m just sick of feeling guilty cause my brain keeps saying like oh you’re a terrible friend#cause you only do xyz cause you think it’ll make them want you#and that’s not true#for the most part 🫠#but also fuck maybe i just should not be around as much and like quietly get a little bit of distance#but i don’t want that shit lmao#wtf do i even do god i hate thisss#also fuck you cause you really have me going sometimes like things are different#but in your head you’re literally just saying things#FUCK UGH#anyway this should’ve been typed in my notes app lmao#but it’s already here and it’s almost 5am so presumably no one will see it
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lit-in-thy-heart · 10 months
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tentatively opening a google doc from september 2021 with the beginning of the third instalment of we are bound together by delicate stems...
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goldkirk · 2 years
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NO NEED TO READ. I’m just venting 👍
Tw: suicide mentions and stuff
So I can’t give details bc protecting privacy of minors and my family who doesn’t know I have a tumblr or anything etc etc but I was right in suspecting that the adults back home don’t tell me anything non-great going on and G is having a way worse time than I was made aware of and as usual no one is doing ENOUGH and what’s being done is late and I’m like I just—I was TRYING to tell adults for FOUR YEARS and especially the last two of them and no one LISTENED until it was unavoidable and I STILL didn’t get anyone listening to my advice about things and I don’t have any way to make a difference but I swear to god if this goes on for another year or four the kid is going to kill himself. Like they are giving him NOTHING to live for, he has like 10% good and 90% misery and at least if I moved back home for a year or two I could be close enough to do something in an emergency. They don’t give their kids any way to talk to me and they wouldn’t let me around the kids to babysit or anything since I’m gay and a corrupting influence and believe in science and not fundamentalism but I’m telling you I had an extra 5-10% that this kid doesn’t have and I almost killed myself anyway and I didn’t have the massive health problems this kid has at that age either. They wouldn’t let me help him if I moved back but he has LITERALLY no one not in that worldview or viewing kids as not having rights etc etc and like. Of COURSE he can’t improve his emotions and behavior when he’s NEVER IN A SITUATION THAT LETS HIM HAVE ENOUGH LACK OF STRESS TO HEAL AND ENOUGH EXAMPLES OF ADULTS BEING HEALTHY EMOTIONALLY. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
it just SUCKS and my mom is doing as much as she personally can to help in terms of getting him school accommodations and stuff but they all assured me so much while I was in the apartment 20 minutes away that things were SO much better and none of the old stuff was happening with him running away or needing to get dropped off to spend the night or whatever and I just you’re telling me they’ve been locking up food and you get calls at night on random days asking if they can drop him off at your house and the kid doesn’t have school accommodations and is failing some classes and has no motivation and has ongoing behavior issues and I just WHY DO YOU SAY THESE THINGS LIKE IT’S JUST A SHAME AND HE’S THE ONE CAUSING ALL OF THEM, and they didn’t take it seriously or see the problem when the kid scratched his own face bloody etc etc TWO YEARS AGO my god you people he doesn’t even tell you anything, what, do you think what you see on the surface is the extent of it?????
I’ve had conversations and I’ve cried at them and I’ve educated them and I’ve exhorted them at one am and I’ve tried to share my own experience and I’ve tried to give them science and I’ve tried to be a mediator and I ruined Christmas Eve begging them to be safer for these kids than they were for me because once I left the kids would have no other option bc they have no other trusted adults and they don’t GET it. If my parents and siblings ignore risks and one of my nephews or nieces ends up dead, I’m never going to forgive them for the rest of my life.
#please don’t suggest contacting DFS I already tried that last year and I was outed by my mom and everyone was REALLY mad and both the kids#and I got a lot of blame#and it wrecked my sister AND my mom and was expensive and didn’t help anything anyway#and there’s no evidence I can give and it’s everyone else against the crazy one (me) soooo#and also the foster system is terrible back home#i just needed to vent because this is everything I was afraid of happening back when I was like 14 and realizing if anyone ever knew#who I was and what I thought I’d be an evil influence from Satan and#never allowed access to the kids ever again and never trusted and kept informed about things#they spent years asking why the kids respond well to me#and asking if I can help with these situations#and I always did and I told them the same things every time and they never listened and I don’t want to be a PERSON I am so sick of being#a PERSON#why can’t you just fucking be KIND to each other and put in the work to face painful facts and GET BETTER BECAUSE OF IT#i did it on my own as a teenager you’re all at LEAST 16 years older than me I HATE you you just keep HURTING us kids and you don’t believe#you do because your worldview is the only right one and you can’t allow any other possibility!!!#well one of these days one of us is going to do more than wait 8 years to finally go to a hospital#and someone’s going to do something that can’t be bandaided or fixed#and you’re STILL not going to understand why#and I’m never going to know what to DO WITH YOU ABOUT THIS#oh thank FUCK#finally!!!!!!! an emotion!!!!!!!! oh my god it’s been over a month since I felt a feeling#this is great#excuse me I’ll be back in a while#I’m going to go feed the baby flame of this anger and try to keep it around for a bit so I remember what existing is like#I’m genuinely so happy right now hang on#thanks to anyone who read all the way through this ily and please make sure you have any water meds rest and food you need!!!!!!#shh katie#family#i love them all so much it eats me inside#i just want everyone to be GOOD like I know they’ve been able to be when I was little
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