#lgbt WITH the T and every other and identity

[tiercel]

Every day I see posts on here that make me take a very deep breath and force myself away from tumblr lest I get 29372 people in my mentions calling me things I have bad associations with again

#Wouldnt go so far as to say its traumatic but well it's certainly far from positive #I do not understand why 'please dont call me this word it was used harmfully against me' is a controversial statement in the lgbt community #Every other word is ok to say that to but God Forbid you dont identify as the exact same thing I do then youre a bigot t£rf rhetoric #It's not an attack on your identity nobody is saying you cant personally use it just stop trying to Force other people to use it. Please. #and stop watering down the word t£rf for the fucking love of god im about to start clubbing people #emf

[eg515]

I want to tell you all a bit about what is currently happening in Hungary because once again the government chose Pride Month (which is in July here) to attack the lgbtq+ community. Three news from just the past week: queer books are wrapped in plastic in bookshops, a bench painted in rainbow colours started a war in Budapest, and a law about retirement was modified to specifically exclude trans women. I'm sure others posted about these, probably could put it better than me, but here it is in one place.

Books: two years ago the government passed a so-called "child protection" law, but it's most commonly reffered to as the anti-gay law. The law is supposed to protect children, but it bans all media depictions of anything that would "promote homosexuality" or different gender identities.

The law is hard to understand on purpose, to make it unclear what is against the law and what isn't, resulting in the censoring of everything even remotely not cishet in fear of accidentally breaking the law. One notable example of this is commercials on tv. All media "promoting" homosexuality or gender change has to have an age restriction on it, including commercials. But since it is unclear what this means, now all tv ads have a 12+ rating, on every channel.

Previously bookstores which sell lgbt themed books had to make this clear and separate these books, which resulted in many bookstores having signs on their doors saying they sell these books. Some bookstores were fined for failure to comply.

Last week people started noticing that in the biggest bookstore chain, Libri, certain books were wrapped in clear plastic. This all happened because of the anti-gay law. Books including lgbtq characters are now wrapped in plastic and cannot be sold at the YA section of the store, they are moved to the adult section, regardless of the topic. Multiple writers called this out on social media, finding their own books wrapped up and moved.

Once again, since the law in unclear, Libri is wrapping up random books, because there is no clear guideline what goes against the law and what doesn't.

From literally two hours ago: one of the biggest bookstore chains, Líra, was just fined for 12 million forints (approx. 35k dollars) for selling Heartstopper without the wrapping, in the YA section.

The Bench: last Thursday, Amnesty International, with the permission of the mayor of the district, painted a bench in Budapest rainbow colours.

This was supposed to symbolise love and acceptance, especially during Pride Month. Since then, the bench was painted 6 more times. First, two men belonging to the neonazi fanclub of the local football club painted the bench the club colours, green and white. Amnesty International filed a police report, and painted the bench back to the rainbow colours.

Then the bench was painted green and white by two football fans yet again, this time with the message "stop lmbtq". After this, someone painted it back to brown, and left a note saying "I just want to be a bench. Which is good for everyone. To you. To them. To us."

After this Amnesty International repainted it with the rainbow colours. Then just today, a right-wing party, Mi Hazánk painted it red-white-green, the national colours, and stated that they will offer protection to the football fans, they will do the sane painting to any rainbow coloured anything they find anywhere in the country, and if anyone paints over it, they will file a police report for damaging a national symbol.

update: just a few hours after the last painting, unknown people wrapped the bench in plastic, with the message "Lately LGBTQ+ content can only be in public in wrapping", referencing the plastic wrapped books

The transphobic retirement law: back in 2010, Fidesz, the current ruling party made a promise during its campaign, which since then became a law. Currently this "Nők40" (Women40) law allows women to retire after 40 years of work, including time spent raising a child, as a way to honour women.

In 2006 the EU ruled that transgender people are entitled to retirement according to the gender they are when retiring. In line with this, earlier this year a Hungarian court ruled in favour of a trans woman, allowing her to retire after 40 years of work, due to the Nök40 law. It is worth noting that she has legally changed her gender in all her offical papers in 2013, and only found out in 2021 that the pension payer still had her registered as a man, and due the transphobic Law 33 passed in 2020, the pension payer refused to correct her gender. The court later ruled in her favour though, and she can retire.

Now, a member of Fidesz argues that this ruling is "a gross provocation and a slap in the face of the legal system". She urged lawmakers to changed the law and make it clear what they mean by women, reminding everyone that Fidesz still maintains that there are only two biological genders.

This was yesterday. By today, a change in the law was prepared. The announcement said the law has been clear for everyone with common sense, but to avoid any "sensitized" judge using this legal loophole, they are now amending it so it stated the early retirement is for everyone who "worked as a woman for 40 years". They claim now nobody can just decide to suddenly want to be a woman for early retirement after working as a man for 39 years. Because obviously early retirement, in a country where it is impossible to make ends meet just on pension alone, is the main reason someone would "decide" to be trans. Obviously.

so, this is where we're at in Hungary, two days before the Budapest Pride Parade. another Pride Month, another attack on lgbtq rights. I don't really have a point with this, I don't want to guilt trip anyone. Just spreading the word, since we rarely read about non-usamerican news.

#yeah i still hate it here #hungary #lgbtq rights #eu politics #pride month #lgbtq+ #lgbtq+ rights #trans rights #transgender #books #censorship #lgbtq books #lgbtq+ books

[cedarkiller]

Queer music with trans undertones.

That's a topic that I've only breached recently. Call me a little baby queer, but I never knew the wealth of cool music done by very cool people before this. There's a wide range of genres and different types of lyrics to go along with it. In this post, I'll focus down on music that I personally like. It may not be for you and that's perfectly understandable.

Glass Beach is a very cool band and their first album, while unrefined, has 2 songs in particular which I'm obsessed with.

Bedroom community is such a fun song and really holds true to much of my life experiences throughout my life. Because I live in an environment that does its best to isolate queer folk, that meant that the only way I could explore my gender identity and my sexual preferences was through the internet. And while not the point of the song, the song really gets me pumped up to be an annoying blasphemous little gremlin to all the nasty christo-fasc out there.

This song brings me to tears every time. The lyrics are just insanely personal and I think many trans femmes could connect with this song. Being misgendered by your peers and especially your family. Needing a desperate escape. Tackling with adulthood. The little holiday feeling of getting your HRT. It's much. It's so much. I'm bursting into tears even as I type this out. This song is so powerful. I can't help it! It's a song about me! Just for me and me alone! It's so personal aa!

While this song doesn't bring the same reaction from me, the lyrics and the melody is so melancholic and it's such a wonderful song. One of their later and more "mature" works as a band. It's great.

Now I'll do some randomly assorted different artists. I haven't explored their music as deeply as Plastic Beach. But these songs are a highlight for me. And I'm usually a really chaotic listener anyway.

This song is simple but it rocks. While I'm a gender conforming and very woman identifying trans femme, I'm also aware of the absurdity of the gender binary. And I think that even someone like me is inherently confusing and terrifying to the social systems that uphold this nonsensical binary. This song is a good way to remind ourselves how absurd and pointless our divide between "males" and "females" is not based around chromosomes or other confused markers but purely on cultural indicators of identity.

This song's lyrics are wonderful. It kind of reflects my recent posts on Tumblr and my frustration on weirdo internet people obsessed with my genitals and being creeps. Because bigotry is creepy and weird. The chorus of this song is especially really good and I find myself humming it along sometimes.

I'm not into ska, but I really enjoy this song in particular from this genre. The lyrics are fun and the theme of breaking apart and mixing gender identities is fun. It's a fun song. Because once gender stops being used as an authoritarian tool to enforce a binary, it can be fun finding the way to express yourself.

This is some of the stuff I've discovered recently. I think the main reason I'm making this post is a bit more of a serious and grim topic that I've touched upon a bit. I live in the Balkans and I live in a city that's infamous for street fights and toxic masculinity. You can imagine that being a trans femme, even if I pass well, still sets me up for a bunch of dangers. My country's politicians are conservative enough to the point that any idea of rights to LGBT folk isn't even considered, with concepts of queerness being considered a "threat" to the "traditional" family structure. Of course, all of this is a bunch of nonsense.

But it means that spaces for queer people are difficult to find. Apparently people congregate on Facebook, but Facebook where I live at is essentially Twitter. I'm not interested in torturing myself with that. That's left me feeling very isolated. I've recently actually tried to join some local Discord servers, but they were overwhelmingly dominated by cis gay men that seem to only be interested in sex. That's just not for me.

I think listening to music like this helps me feel less alone and more hopeful for the future. If anyone out there is dealing with the same loneliness I am, please find music that reflects your feelings. You'll feel a bit better about the world, knowing that you're not alone and your ideas aren't as foreign as you think.

You're wonderful.

You're valid.

And you're rad as heck.

Queer, trans, non-binary, non-conforming and any fun mixture of sexual orientation. You're the best!

#music #trans #transblr #transgender #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #queer music #trans music #transgender music #small rant at the end #i love you #Youtube

[vintage-bentley]

How in the fuck are you going to be anti trans and a Good Omens fan as if both the book and the show don’t explicitly establish the existence of several nonbinary characters and both Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are genderless beings

Not to mention both David and Michael’s staunch support of the LGBT (really emphasizing the T here, since you love to drop it) community as a whole, and David literally has a trans child

Part of me is even asking this in good faith because how do you see a series that is so incredibly queer and like it considering how much you shit-talk trans people on your lackluster TERF blog

There’s many reasons, actually! I’ll explain them in good faith, because I think that people who ask questions like this don’t understand the perspective of so-called “terfs” and assume we think like you do.

Firstly, I’m a feminist, so I’m used to media not aligning with my politics. I expect it, actually. Down to very simple things, like knowing I’m never going to go into a show and see a woman just existing with body hair like men do in shows all the time. But I’m comfortable and confident enough in my beliefs that I can consume media that doesn’t align with them. This extends to my feelings regarding gender. A they/them character doesn’t make my head explode, it’s just the same for me as seeing a Christian character (like Ella from Netlix’s Lucifer) or a female character who’s pro-beauty culture (like Elinor from First Kill). It’s a representation of a belief I don’t agree with and personally don’t believe in, that’s all.

Secondly, Good Omens is set in a made up universe with fantasy themes. I can easily get behind the idea that the true forms of angels and demons are genderless, because that makes sense to me in the same way God being genderless makes sense to me. This doesn’t have to carry over to me believing that humans can be genderless (I don’t believe in the concept of internal gender identity, because I don’t believe in souls. So I guess the better way to put this is that I don’t believe humans can be sexless unless we’re using gender and sex as synonyms). In the same way that it makes sense to me that angels and demons have souls that are put into bodies issued to them…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Or how it makes sense to me that Aziraphale and Crowley could survive without food, water, and sleep…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Etc. etc.

Basically, just because something is in a fantasy show, doesn’t mean I have to believe it’s real.

Thirdly, what the actors do in their own lives is none of my business. I don’t agree with supporting the TQ+ especially in relation to LGB (considering they’ve made it a primary goal to harass lesbians into pretending we can like penis, and to take every chance they get to express their hatred for homosexuality. I love to drop the T because they dropped me and my fellow homosexuals years ago). If two straight male actors want to do that, whatever. I also don’t agree with Sheen having a baby with a woman his daughter’s age, but that hasn’t stopped me from watching the show or appreciating his talent.

This all takes me back to what I said about believing you don’t truly understand the perspective of those you call “terfs”. Just because you might not be able to comprehend watching and enjoying something that doesn’t perfectly align with your worldview, doesn’t mean others feel the same. For example, many radical and rad-leaning feminists enjoyed the Barbie movie, despite it not being radical feminist. We’re capable of watching and enjoying things we don’t agree with, and of having discussions about why we don’t agree with it.

A much simpler answer to your question would be: I’ve always loved angels and demons and all things supernatural. I’ve always loved old cars. I love Queen. Religious/moral commentary and critique interest me. I love lighthearted comedies. I’m gay and starved for representation of healthy gay relationships. I love gay star-crossed lovers stories (go watch First Kill). Naturally, I’m going to love Good Omens, even if it doesn’t perfectly align with my worldview.

#asks #anon #it’s not even just the stuff regarding gender I don’t agree with! #I have a HUGE issue with the existence of Ms Sandwich and her ‘stable’ of ‘girls’ #brothels are insanely inhumane and a breeding ground for human trafficking. And women are human—not property to sell #tbh I take bigger issue with that aspect than any of the gender stuff #there’s also the whole thing with God being a woman/having the voice of a woman… #…despite there being no attempt at reimagining what the world would be like had it been made by a female god instead of a male one #(example: maybe Adam would’ve come from Eve’s rib. Maybe Adam would’ve been responsible for the Original Sin) #instead Neil keeps all the patriarchal religion stuff in and pats himself on the back for casting a woman as God #what I’m trying to say is that yeah. I have disagreements with the show. so what. #it’s still a good show even if it’s not a radical feminist/rad-leaning show

[poltergeistsoup]

Hey again! Since you miss talking about your headcanons, I'll happily listen :}

Well since you asked I’m taking this as an opportunity to publicly make people hear that Murdoc is the whole LGBT acronym to me. He’s a man in the worst way ever, but having boobs would fix half of what’s wrong with him. He has t-boy swagger. She’s non-binary but they’re 57 so he’s not gonna worry about it. He has female hysteria. He’s the spawn of Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog.

He’s an honorary bisexual girl because he’s attracted to every woman ever and the ugliest men in the whole world and his bisexuality is constantly erased.

Whatever she is, he has a gender identity:

Also fun fact: “Lallies” in that first post means “legs” and it comes from Polari, which is considered a dead language used by gay British men circa the 1960s, and from what I could gather upon googling it, it’s not one of those words that’s just entered British slang as other Polari words have, which means it was like, a choice to have him using 1960s gay British slang. So do with that what you will

#gorillaz #asks #strawberryttea #gorillaz headcanons #murdoc niccals

[jayisgayandtrans]

The Letter T

Let’s get something straight,

I’m not

Or at least, that’s a situation in question

But that’s not what I’m here for, you see

The acronym LGBT has a terrific little tail that everyone tends to trip over

And the conversations that transpire when I attempt to try the closet door

Leave me frequently swept under the rug

Maybe I’m just a little lost in translation

But they should know that identity is not orientation

And it can be tricky to articulate, so I don’t mind the extra explanation

But I’m telling you there’s a tipping point where you can’t expect me to take it

To tally up the talks I’ve had tearing apart the phrase

“So, genderfluid is like another word for bisexual, then, right?”

Because there’s already this his-and-hers internal tug-of-war

So tying in other types of ignorance just gets tiring at times

And trying again and trying again and again to get the point across

Leads me down a tangled train of thought that runs off the tracks in unclear tangents

Because conversations transition without the intended Amendments

Because these transcripts would transcend the usual transfer of data

Into transgressions and obsessions with more than I’m able to

Confirm or confer without temperamental reactions

Feeling entirely translucent overlooking their infractions

Wondering why more words aren’t composed in a way that allows them

To be transposed to neutrality or at least farther from

Specific definitions testing how gendered things can get

Wondering why I don’t make any sense yet

Let me be perfectly queer

The acronym LGBT has a tetrad attraction detailing at least part of this

Just a trifle of understanding if you’re looking to comprehend it

And if you don’t care to learn then don’t bother to ask

But take some time from your day and I’ll try to make it fast

Go ahead and interrogate, I don’t mind all that much

Whatever trips your trigger, as long as it’s not pointed at us

I can’t speak on behalf of every transgender teen

But if you don’t know a word, I can tell you what I mean

I can text you a trillion terms to absorb

Or trim down the lesson to the basics if you’re bored

But don’t tell me that pronouns are a hassle to learn

When they catch in the throats of those just waiting Their turn

To stop hiding their tears and be treated the same

Teaching one person at a time until the world hears their true name

Don’t expect trophies, but I’ll give you my thanks

Don’t tease us about the clothes that make our spines and souls ache

I want to wear this letter T like a cross from my neck

Saying the prefix trans- means across and I like it like that

Traversing the spectrums and binaries all mixed

Transcontinental, transatlantic, transfixed

By the beauty in boys and the glamour in girls

But mostly the neithers and boths in this world

Don’t tell me it’s a transient, temporary tale

Or that I’m totally enamoured with getting off the most followed trail

I’m taking back traumas and tense muscles and taunts

Until tentative trespassers give us what we want

A presence, a voice, and all human rights

It shouldn’t be a privilege to feel safe at night

Don’t tiptoe around troubles, just stand with us here

Add a voice until we trumpet our triumphs and cheers

Take my hand, hear my voice

Listen, learn something new

Because LGBT has a cross and

Cross my heart

I’m with you

#poetry #transgender #trans man #look i like poetry dont ask what i am writing at thus point #aaaaaa #Spotify

[crispycreambacon]

☆ Mello-Jello-Wellow! Crispy here ☆

AO3 || Art-Only Blog || Free Palestine

Welcome to my main blog!

My name is Chris Pycream Bacon, but most just call me Crispy. In here, you will find pretty much everything such as my own work, my interests and rambles from others. If you wanna see just my art, you can head over to @crispyfriedartchive instead!

I hope to create a space which is inviting, so feel free to reach out via asks! BIPOC, LGBT+, disabled/neurodivergent and non-Christians are welcomed of course, and if you object to that, this place is not for you :}

Down below, you'll find more about me and find my tagging system. Otherwise, feel free to chill here and have a nice day~! ☆

More About Me

As you can see, I'm an artist and a writer. Particularly, I love doing silly doodles, illustrations, comics and fanfiction, and I hope to become an animator or a comic artist one day. However, I'm open to any art or writing career that welcomes me along the way!

My other hobbies include singing, voice acting, listening to whatever music catches my brain worms and yelling about my current interests. I also have two cats, Sashimi and Takoyaki, a corgi named Miso, and a t-rex plush named Dinosara whom I love very much :3

I'm Filipino! Unfortunately, I can't speak Tagalog (yet), but I try to stay in touch with my culture. I can also speak a decent amount of Indonesian after having lived there for over a decade. Filipino-Indonesian solidarity for the win!!

I'm hella non-binary, and I will hit every character that I love and/or create with the rainbow stick. I'm also aroace, bisexual and in a queerplatonic relationship (hello darling if you're reading this!)

My Stances

I try not to get into discourse as I've done so before, and it's very unhealthy for me (so please don't bring that up towards me!) However, I still want to make the following clear:

People with stigmatized disorders such as DID, Cluster-B disorders, psychotic disorders, etc. are always welcome here, and if I act in a way that makes you feel otherwise, please let me know!

I'm pro-Palestine and anti-Zionist, but I'm still inclusive towards Jewish people. No government actions should be an excuse for bigotry, and Jewish people should always be welcomed.

I'm inclusive when it comes to LGBT+ identities. While I may not always understand all identities, I've learnt to just mind my own business. It makes you happy, and it doesn't harm people? Then go forth! Be yourself :]

Blog Navigation

☆ RELATED TO MY OWN WORK

#chris p fried art - my art

#chris p fried writings - my writing

#chris p fried rambles - my opinions/commentary/reviews

#chris p fried wips - my works-in-progress

#chris p fried answers - my answers to asks

#chris p fried doo doo - my shitposts

#chris p fried what?! - my miscellaneous thoughts (aka my most unfiltered)

☆ RELATED TO OTHER POSTS

#artists cooking gourmet - other people's art

#writers cooking gourmet - other people's writing

#people frying stuff - other people's text/video/audio posts

#clowns burning the kitchen (affectionate) - funny posts

#a nice warm soup after a long day - wholesome posts

#alphabet soup matters - lgbt+ posts

#important - awareness posts (typically serious subject matter such as current news, donation links, etc.)

#a reminder to those who need it - more lighthearted awareness posts (important but not downer posts, may also be literal reminders)

Everything else should be tagged via topic, fandom, character, etc. I also do my best to provide image descriptions or trigger tag posts though I may not always be successful.

#EDIT: THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I ACCIDENTALLY RELEASED MY INTRO POST WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING HELP- #This is like the third time I remade my intro post but I promise this will stick this time!!! #If any updates are needed then I'll add updates yapee yapoo #intro post #blog intro #introducing myself #introduction #introductory post #meet the artist #artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr

[rjalker]

Update 5/31/23, literally the day before Pride month starts: They just banned me from the forums for asking not to be misgendered, and hid my posts where I ask the person misgendering me to stop.

While they actively refuse to remove the two posts where someone is purposefully and knowingly misgendering me.

original post:

The iNAturalist staff hid this post because it's "inapropriate" and "hateful"

"https://forum.inaturalist.org/t/moderation-decisions-about-several-posts-in-the-lgbtqia-thread/42122/41"

"I hit the wrong button and posted it here instead. Oh well. Keep it here. Hiding all of our responses to this incident in another thread is literally part of the problem and is just more bigotry.

Astra_the_dragon said: also… there is a difference between feelings and saying? you can think that “it” is an acceptable pronoun, but choose not to use it / find a workaround for personal reasons. this is totally different than arguing that “it” is not an acceptable pronoun at all. and nobody is forcing anyone to use a pronoun… technically, you can use no pronouns: eg “Astra made a good point in Astra’s post”. it sounds silly but is grammatically correct.

“finding a workaround” to using someone’s pronouns is misgendering. Why are you people refusing to understand this.

No, you cannot use no pronouns for me. I do not use nameself pronouns. My pronouns are it/its.

If you were saying this about literally any other trans person you’d all know this is misgendering.

At this point you just need to admit you don’t support nonbinary people and you only support LGBT people if we’re not Too Queer™ for our oppressor’s comfort.

(random user whose name I forgot) from the perspective of someone who uses the pronoun it, is it any less disrespectful to say “I can’t use this pronoun because it conflicts with my own core beliefs, and if i refer to you in the third person, i will use your name instead of any pronoun”?

No, it’s not less disrespectful. Refusing to use my pronouns is misgendering me. I’ve said this half a dozen times now (Not mad at you, I’m mad at the mods/staff who are all refusing to listen because they care more about coddling the feelings of cis people than respecting the identity of trans people)

Astra_the_dragon said: it’s all in the context. and online, you can never be sure.

how about you not speak over me. We are not talking about a hypothetical person who uses it/its pronouns. I am the one being misgendered. I am literally right here. Just because you also use it/its pronouns does not mean you get to speak over me.

Tiwane (paid iNaturalist staff) said: I split this from another topic. Maybe that was a bad decision,

Yes, it was a bad decision because this is not just about moderation. It’s literally about transmisia on the part of other users and the staff. It should literally be remerged so it doesn’t look like you’re hiding our responses to this, which is what it looks like since all of our posts responding to the issue after it was opened again were removed from the original thread to put them here.

You are literally all not listening. We are not asking you to moderate every single post that appears.

We are asking you to remove exactly two posts that purposefully misgender me. Whether you think it “technically counts” as misgendering or not does not matter. You are literally not the ones being targeted. How many other users have spoken up at this point? And you’re choosing to ignore all of them, and me, because you’d rather split hairs and debate the definition of misgendering and pretend that misgendering out of selfishness is definitely not hate speech.

Your opinions literally do not matter! Remove both of Sedgequeen’s posts where she says she is going to refuse to use my pronouns! If she’s going to refuse to use my pronouns, then fine! I literally cannot force her to! And that is literally not the issue! The issue is she is literally proudly announcing she is going to misgender me and you people think leaving those posts up for me, and every other trans person who comes to the thread to see, is okay.

We are not demanding everyone magically change their minds and not misgender anyone. We are demanding that the iNaturalist staff do their jobs and remove exactly two posts that encourage hate speech. If Sedgequeen isn’t going to use my pronouns, fine, I’ll fucking block her and warn people that she doesn’t respect trans people if you’re Too Queer About It.

You fucking people – and don’t you dare tell me I’m being too aggressive for swearing when you’re still refusing to listen to any of us after days of being repeatedly told what the problem is – are not listening.

Listen.

Remove both of Sedgequeen’s posts where she announces she is not going to use my pronouns.

Apologize for not removing them sooner.

Apologize for not listening to your users.

Apologize for tone policing.

Apologize for treating both sides as equally wrong when we are literally talking about bigotry.

Apologize for repeatedly and insesantly ignoring and speaking over the trans and ally users who have repeatedly explained to you what the problem is so you can instead spout off bad-faith ridiculously exaggerated pretend versions of our arguments to shoot down instead because you’re literally refusing to hear a single word of what we are actually asking:

Literally judging every single piece of content for appropriateness

iNat has no police force monitoring every single thing that is said in every discussion we host.

(Like, are you serious? Are you serious? You’re getting paid to do this and this is the best response you can come up with?

“Can you remove these two specific bigoted posts?”

“WHY DO YOU WANT US TO BECOME A FASCIST SURVEILLANCE STATE?!?!?!”

[Plain text: “Why do you want us to become a fascist surveillance state?!” End plain text.]

This is literally what you people are doing

if you ask us to do our jobs doesn't that mean you want us to be fascists1920×2457 213 KB

[ID: A cartoon penguin saying “If you ask us to remove two specific bigoted posts, doesn’t that mean you…” Then shouting in all caps, “Want us to become a fascist surveillance police state?!” with many exclamation marks and question marks. End ID.]

Like how about you all stop caring more about the feelings of cis people for five seconds and actually listen to what your users are telling you? How about you listen to the person who is literally being misgendered? I am literally the victim here but all you people want to do is pretend I don’t exist and that I should have to “compromise” on my own existance.

You are literally asking trans people to compromise on our identities in your thread that’s supposedly dedicated to LGBTQIA+/Queer users.

How are you still typing up more bigoted responses and not ashamed to the point of tears? Do you not understand how ridiculous you are all being? You were asked to do one thing. But you refuse to do your jobs and refuse to uphold your company’s promise to be inclusive and welcoming, and now you’ve made this whole thing into a giant mess when it literally didn’t need to be.

I’m now going to have to warn people I meet that iNaturalist isn’t actually welcoming to trans people because the staff would rather coddle the feelings of cis people than do the most basic aspect of their jobs.

Stop talking and actually listen. You have half a dozen users telling you what you’re doing is wrong but you refuse to listen.

@astra_the_dragon full offense. You are literally siding with the transmisics right now and you seem proud to do it. How about you stop pretending your identity as a trans person on the moderation team trumps the multiple trans users who have come forward to tell you all why what you’re doing is a problem. Having one trans person on the moderation team does not magically mean the moderation team is not being transmsic. You are one person and your goals of compromise over conflict do not reflect the values of the community, and they especially do not reflect my values as the person literally being misgendered.

Just because you also use it/its pronouns in combination with others does not mean you get to speak over and speak for me and tell me that I have to be okay with being misgendered because you’d be fine with it.

We are not talking about you. We are talking about me, and all the other trans people who understand that fighting back for equality and real respect is more important than endlessly compromising to make the cis people happy.

It doesn’t matter if you’re willing to compromise on your it/its pronouns. You do not get to demand that others also be okay with letting ourselves be misgendered. You can compromise all you want. It’s not going to stop them from targeting you, too, when they’ve decided you’ve crossed a line and are now Too Trans To Deserve Respect™.

“We can never throw enough people overboard to win approval from our enemies.”

-Leslie Feinberg, Transgender Warriors: making history from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman

Stop throwing me overboard by demanding I compromise on my identity and start actually sticking up for trans people.

Actually listen to what your trans and ally users or saying or stop pretending you care about us and our rights. If your response to this post is to further double down and defend blatant exorsexism, transmisia, tone policing, and victim blaming, you’ll be proving to everyone that iNaturalist’s “commitment” to inclusivity is just as shallow and performative as any other corporation’s.

***This conversation is not about you, the staff, as individuals.*** You are supposed to represent iNaturalist as a whole. Your personal feelings on the matter do not matter. Not when it comes to defending bigotry on a thread literally meant to be safe for us. Put aside your personal hurt feelings and do the jobs you get paid for. Remove the two posts where Sedgequeen announces she’s going to misgender me. And then apologize.

Or just admit you don’t actually care about or support trans people.

There is no third option. It didn’t have to get to this point but you all prioritizing your feelings over the facts has brought us here. You brought this on yourselves by caring more about the feelings of cis people than protecting trans people. There is no excuse for your behavior.

The only option left to you is to do what your users have been asking you to do for almost a week now, by removing the two specific posts, and now you have to publically apologize on top of that. You could have just done the bare minimum from the start and this literally wouldn’t be a problem.

In fact you could have literally done nothing from the start and that would have been better than what you did, and what you are continuing to do. The discussion had already moved on. The community that was active in the thread had already called out the bigotry. You literally could have done nothing, but you chose to side with the bigots and continue to do so.

When it comes to bigotry, you do in fact have to pick a side. There is no middleground between respecting trans people and supporting misgendering."

#iNaturalist #if you're mad about seeing these posts in the iNaturalist tag #be more mad about this shit <3 #iNaturalist transmisia #iNaturalist transphobia #long post #pride month #wrath month #transunity #trans solidarity #solidarity #trans #transgender #transsexual #nonbinary #transmasc #transfem #trans man #trans woman #queer #pride #mogai #liom #inaturalist transmisia #inaturalist hates trans people #described images

[takaraphoenix]

I am just seriously genuinely baffled by how many people have, in this past month, proven me right about my “there’s no reason to tag a queer positive post with ‘q slur’“ post. It really truly is nothing but a dog whistle.

For the span of this Pride Month, I’ve been giffing my favorite queer canon characters and my favorite queer headcanons. With queer in the headline.

And every single person who has reblogged one of those GIF sets and tagged it with “q slur”, it took less than ten posts scrolling through their “q slur” tag and BAHM there it is, the aphobia, the exclusionism.

It starts so simple with “queer is a slur, I’m just trying to warn others who may be triggered by the usage of it uwu”, into “actually people just shouldn’t say queer”, into “only L, G, B and T people could even reclaim queer so you can just say LGBT”, which is then followed by the full on exclusionism of denying aspec identities and, often enough, also gender identities that go beyond a nice “clean” trans.

Every. Single. Time. It’s the exact same rhetoric, the exact same manner of slow escalation on the posts, from trying to appear mindful and like they’re trying to help others, until you reach the point of “I don’t want queer people to exist, if you’re not L, G, B, T, you shouldn’t exist, you’re not valid”. Every time.

They’re not all identical posts. That’s the terrifying part. There are countless people out there making eerily similar posts that spiral and countless people who will reblog them.

Some of them even have the gall to say “TERFs DNI” on their blog description (which goes once again to the “don’t trust everything people put in their description because people can lie actually”), just for their blog to devolve into hella TERFy rhetoric.

I talked about it at length in the other post, as a warning that this behavior will just be seen as a red flag by me, but this time around, I’m really trying to appeal to the few people who might use the “q slur” tag out of the genuine attempt to “help” because they’ve seen others do it - please, go to those others, actually click the tag and read through their posts and read between the lines of those posts.

Yes, the people who so far tried to argue with me “but some people tag to be mindful!” very quickly did show their true exclusionist colors, but I actually do believe that there are people who follow the trend because they may think that it’s “the right thing”, and I really do need these few people to reevaluate this. To take a closer look. To question things. And to stop tagging queer-positive posts as “q slur”.

And, to ease their worries about people who may genuinely get triggered by the word “queer”; don’t worry. Tumblr gave people with triggers the tools to not see posts tagged with or containing the word. If someone is truly bothered by the word, they can curate their own online experience and they do not need you to play middle man for them!

#Aphobia #Exclusionism #Queer #Q Slur Discourse #I hope this is the last post I'll do on this #but seriously I felt like the last post #didn't FULLY aim at the people who were led to believe #they did the right thing #so I'm trying again to maybe convey it better #also I'm just uncomfortably upset #with just how many people #have such an insidious spiral of posts on their blog??

[colorisbyshe]

hello! I've been scrolling through your blog for a while and idk how to best word this but is it possible to identify as queer, like an umbrella term? I primarily identify as bisexual (and trans) but I used to answer to questions of my sexual orientation or gender identity with "queer/genderqueer" and I would never force someone to call me that if they were uncomfortable with it, I'd like your thoughts on the topic if you have the time.

Oh, and in terms of acronyms, is it better to use lgbt, lgbt+, or lgbtq for tags bc i know elder gay people might not like their posts tagged with the q slur. Thanks!

ps. glad to see a fellow sasuke stan in the wild ^-^

It's possible to identify as whatever you want. If queer feels best for you, fine. Just know that a. even just hearing you use that term at all might trigger some people (which is fine, many people call themselves dyke and fag, just listen when people ask you to stop) and b. it wholly and totally obfuscates what your actual identity is. Genderqueer, less so, because it's specifically about gender and lets people know that ambiguity is the point. But queer... as a blanket term... means there's a whole blanket of terms people can think apply to you.

And I'd just ask... why obscure your identity? You might have valid reasons, I don't know. I can't decide that for you. But like... I personally make sure people know my identities because I love my identities. What about trans and bisexual doesn't do it for you? I would introspect on why you want to move away from more clear labels and move to something with less clarity. Why do you want to use a term that has become so inclusive that in many spces it includes cishets?

And I just use LGBT for the acronym. Every LGBT identity is included in it and adding Q/+ feels like a VERY half assed gesture. Like as a nonbianry person, I am under the T. I am not a "+" that can be used to include any number of other (sometimes non-LGBT) identities. And Q is unnecessary because the only people who can reclaim it are L G B T. LGBTQ is like saying "Girls and women." Like... that's the same thing twice. It's redundant.

I understand the Q can also mean "questioning" (and originally DID) but I would think questioning was already implicitly included. The same way a lot of women only spaces can include people quesitoning if they're women or not. Like, I don't really need to clarify "My feminism is for women and people who are on their way to solidifying their identity as women."

(Also, just a side note, lots of "elder gay" people absolutley do view queer as a slur and it's like... very weird historical revisionism to act like it's just young people who see it as a slur?? IDK who has started this lie but it's getting fucking weird.)

[jeanmoreaux]

You need "rigid" labels sometimes to be able to have an actual community in which people have things in common and understand each other. And labels are only rigid to people if they a) misunderstand them or b) just don't fit them in the first place. Why would LGBT labels be restricting for members of that community? If you're a lesbian woman, a gay man, a bisexual person or a trans person, you fit into it. And if you don't fit into any of those "rigid boxes" then guess what? You aren't part of the community then. Because yes, being L, G, B or T CAN be clearly defined. For example, if you're a woman who's only into other women, you're a lesbian, no ifs or buts. The LGBT community isn't for everyone who thinks they don't fit into society or whatever, it's for homosexual, bisexual and trans people. If someone feels restricted by LGBT it's because it's not for them.

And no, "queer" doesn't tell me "enough". There are straight people who call themselves queer because their partner is gnc or because they don't like ONS. Wanting to be special isn't the same as being LGBT.

okay i feel like you’re trying to misunderstand my tags on purpose, but i also know that my tags were really brief and i didn’t put disclaimers at the end bc i am genuinely just tired to write down disclaimers for every possible way my words can be interpreted. so i am giving you the benefit of the doubt and assume that this is not coming from a place of malice or an exclusionist standpoint.

i was putting the emphasis on RIGID labels. labels, in general, can be super useful and great to build a personal or a group identity. i use the bi label myself bc i feel like it fits my experience well. the issue is that in recent years some people have taken it upon themselves to police these labels. they act like there are specific things that can excludes you from a label even if you identify as such. people should stop acting like they’re the authority on one of the labelled queer experiences and start appreciating the differences within a community. that’s all i was saying. stop. policing. other. queer people’s. identities.

also, personally, queer does tell me enough about someone if that’s all someone wants to share with me. they don’t own me a label???? like, i‘d never go around asking strangers or people i am not that close with or anyone really to give me specifics—if someone just wants to go with queer that’s okay with me. ((we‘re talking about people with queer identities here pls don’t misconstrue what i am trying to say)).

#i am not saying abolish label and i didn’t say that in the tags of the other post either #i am just saying that we should keep a watchful eye on how we use labels #bc they have the potential to be exploited to reinforce discriminatory structures against queer people #also as an addendum: sharing opinions online is always such a pain bc usually they are way too complex to really cover in a post/tags/ask #you never get the full picture from a one sided conversation #bc i feel like in an actual dialogue we‘d probably realise our opinions overlap #((and just to clarify my opinion is also more complex and nuanced that this answer but i am genuinely not writing a 50 page essay #so you just have to give me the benefit of the doubt)) #answer #anon

[mearchuimhne]

Rabbi Sharon Kleinbaum has traditionally had few qualms about being a member of a minority – as a lesbian rabbi, it is practically her brand. But in the days and weeks following the start of the Israel-Hamas war, she says it has been her identity as a liberal Zionist that has made her feel like a member of a minority.

Kleinbaum is the spiritual leader of New York’s Congregation Beit Simchat Torah, the world’s largest LGBTQ synagogue. The space she and wife Randi Weingarten have long occupied – as high-profile American-Jewish leaders who are deeply connected to Israel, but also outspoken advocates for Palestinian rights and opponents of the occupation – is not a comfortable place to be right now.

Even within the pioneering congregation Kleinbaum has led for more than 30 years, she says the atmosphere is tense and full of “tremendous anxiety,” as the war continues with no clear resolution in sight.

“We’re in tough times, there’s no question about it,” she says, sitting in the lobby of a Tel Aviv hotel beside Weingarten, who is president of the American Federation of Teachers.

“You know, the LGBT world is so focused on non-binary thinking. We’ve rejected the binary about sexuality, we’ve rejected the binary about gender identity,” Kleinbaum notes. “And yet at the same time, so many in this world have adopted a very binary approach to Israel-Palestine issues.”

Sharon Kleinbaum: “The message I keep bringing to the congregation is that life is not a Hollywood movie. There is not a good guy or a bad guy here; there is not one victim and one perpetrator.”

Her community, she adds, is not at all immune from the expectations of conflict in American culture, in which “the good guys are always weak and the bad guys are strong. And people want a two-hour Hollywood movie in which at the end of it, the good guys overcome and vanquish the bad guys, the lights go up and you walk outside. The message I keep bringing to the congregation is that life is not a Hollywood movie.”

She tries at every opportunity, she says, to explain to those on both extremes that simple solutions are not available, and “there is not a good guy or a bad guy; there is not one victim and one perpetrator.”

That message is not always welcome. In far-left progressive circles, there are those who “believe that Israel kind of deserved what it got” on October 7 and “what Hamas did was an act of justified violence.” The fact that she “completely rejects and totally condemns” such views has made some “very angry” with her, Kleinbaum says.

At the same time, she says others are upset with her “because I continue to insist on the full equality of the Palestinian people, and I continue to stand against the occupation. I will continue to stand by the truth that I’ve said forever and is not new: Israel cannot oppress people.”

Union head Weingarten says she often finds herself in a similar position. “On the same day, I will be criticized by someone from AIPAC for being a Palestinian lover, and criticized by somebody from one of our local union branches that I have not spoken out strongly enough against Israel.”

She has been slammed in union circles for standing up for Israel’s right to defend itself, including during a AFL-CIO meeting that The New York Times described as a “raw” debate among top union officials on the Israel-Hamas conflict. She was accused by the far left of “green-lighting Zionist war crimes.”

Absorbing the energy

Kleinbaum and Weingarten spoke to Haaretz on the second day of a Thanksgiving week trip to Israel, following breakfast with members of what they call their “Israeli family”: Israelis who were members of Kleinbaum’s synagogue during stints in New York, former congregants who made aliyah and other friends.

The couple note that during their last visit, in April, their friends were wearing pro-democracy T-shirts protesting the proposed judicial overhaul. Now these same people wear T-shirts with photographs of hostages on them. Like so many other Israelis, their friends have suffered losses, and some had stopped by on their way to or from 30-day memorials of loved ones killed on October 7.

“We’re so horrified and condemn what Hamas did in the strongest and most horrific terms, and we feel like we’re making a shivah visit to the whole country,” Kleinbaum says.

Their Thanksgiving pilgrimage was not only to offer condolences, though. Their schedule was packed with stops at the coexistence organizations they often visit and to which Kleinbaum regularly takes synagogue members – including Hand in Hand (Israel’s largest network of Jewish-Arab schools) and the Standing Together Jewish-Arab nonprofit. They also visited Weingarten’s union compatriots at the Histadrut labor federation and had an emotional meeting with the families of Israeli hostages being held in Gaza.

Both women felt they needed to be in Israel now, Kleinbaum says, “to absorb the energy here and really listen to the perspective of people who are here and to … pay our shivah call after the biggest pogrom that has happened to the Jewish people since the Holocaust – and, just as importantly, also listen to Palestinian voices inside of Israel, and to listen to the voices that are fighting for shared society.” They intend to take those views back to New York.

“We have to keep telling the deep truths that those of us who are progressive Zionists understand: that there is no future except a shared future. And we have to keep reinforcing the message that this is the land with two peoples, two very complicated peoples, and that we continue to hope for a future in which both peoples can live with justice and peace and security,” Kleinbaum says.

She admits she doesn’t know where events will lead, but right now it “feels like we’re at an inflection point not only for the State of Israel, for Palestinians and Israeli Jews, but for the Jewish people. It feels like we’re at a very significant moment of Jewish history, including for Diaspora Jewish life.”

The Biden factor

Cultivating any sympathy for Israel’s position in U.S. progressive and liberal circles these days, notes Weingarten, can be a considerable challenge given the country’s leadership. “The fact that Benjamin Netanyahu has been the face of Israel over the course of the last year has been highly problematic to the progressive forces in the United States,” she says.

Add to the mix the unabashedly racist, extremist views of members of his government, including National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir and Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich, and the challenge is exponentially greater.

Having such extreme figures in such prominent positions, Weingarten says, “has clouded and obscured the basic humanity and the massacre that happened by Hamas on October 7, and obscured it in a way that is, personally, very painful to me and so many others.”

There is, she adds, a chance to get through to Democrats old enough to have “understood and supported the reasons for Israel becoming a state not just in the shadow of the Holocaust, but because of long-standing reasons for the Jewish people having a state and who reveled in the democracy that was promised in the 1948 declaration” – the most prominent and powerful of whom is President Joe Biden.

Both Weingarten and Kleinbaum have relationships with the Biden White House. Weingarten is a longtime active member of the Democratic National Committee, and her name was floated for a time in 2020 as a possible Biden candidate for secretary of education. In 2021, he appointed Kleinbaum to the U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom.

Dealing with younger liberals and progressives who “have a very different perception of Israel” is another matter, though.

Weingarten says “polls bear out that the Democratic Party is still supportive of Joe Biden’s approach to Israel and Gaza,” but there is still considerable pressure from those harshly critical of the amount of force used by the Israel Defense Forces, mounting calls for a unilateral cease-fire, along with a faction that does, in fact, challenge Israel’s right to exist.

Much of this, she believes, is a direct result of the images coming out of Gaza, and Israel’s decision not to widely circulate images of the horrors of October 7 in real time. Because of that decision, “the trauma, the massacre and the pogrom is just not well known and not understood in the same way as what happened to the [Gazan] hospitals” and the “sheer amount of death” in Gaza.

But it is also clear, Kleinbaum interjects, that “the right-wing voices absolutely undermine Biden’s ability to support Israel.”

The deliberate disinformation and misinformation, and the “many so-called news sources that are not tethered to the truth” amplified across social media,” Weingarten continues, has resulted in “an utter lack of understanding about this crisis” by many Americans, especially the young.

While Biden’s unrelenting support for Israel in its battle with Hamas, despite pressure from his party’s progressive wing, may be welcome, she has cautioned her American friends, it should not be misunderstood.

Biden is “a staunch ally of Israeli democracy and also supports Palestinians: he doesn’t support Israel to the detriment of the Palestinians, even though people accuse him of that. And if the Israeli right really doesn’t understand this, then they are really threatening the future of President Biden’s support. Because he cares deeply about Palestine; he cares about both people. That’s why he has said over and over again that there has to be a two-state solution,” Weingarten says.

Randi Weingarten: “I reject the binary that forces a simple choice. And even though it’s not an easy place to be, I believe if we keep standing in this place and pushing the message out there, more and more people will join us.”

And despite the fact that “extreme voices are the loudest right now and people are looking for simple solutions,” there are more people that share common ground with the president – particularly in America’s Jewish community.

“I believe that the majority of American Jews are actually looking for this vision,” Weingarten says. “They want to hear that they can stand with Israel, and stand with the rights of Palestinians. They don’t have to choose. And yes, today it’s a very narrow place to be. But I reject the binary that forces a simple choice. And even though it’s not an easy place to be, I believe if we keep standing in this place and pushing the message out there, more and more people will join us.”

#randi weingarten #sharon kleinbaum #just found this interesting #there aren't a lot of even vaguely high profile jews near the usa government who aren't warmongers #it's interesting to hear from the ones who are #though i do have a feeling they're um diplomatically overstating biden's position

[junotalksaboutstuff]

Visible Pixels: Representation in Gaming and Esports

nanobomb my beloved

Gaming: what is it? Who does it? Why do my kids ask if I have them on my phone? Video games as a medium have come a long way from Pong: games today have multifaceted storylines, more pixels than there are grains of sand on Earth, and most importantly for today’s discussion, characters and players of various intersectional identities playing together. For a scene that is normally seen as heavily male-dominated, Clement (2022) reports that the demographic of gamers these days is evenly split between male and female gamers; Henderson (2020) states that 10% of gamers surveyed also identify as LGBTQ+ to some degree. Now, what does this demographic change mean for the gaming community as a whole?

Firstly, recent games have been delivering a lot of representation: Webb (2022) cites numerous examples of representation of strong women, LGBT+ characters and ethnic minorities in recent video games as diverse as the non-binary Bloodhound from the battle royale shooter Apex Legends and Krem from the medieval role-playing game Dragon Age: Inquisition. This representation also has its depths: as Kamen (2016) discusses, Overwatch revealed one of its heroes, Tracer, as lesbian with a 12-page comic on her relationship with her partner. The presence of these characters provide individuals from these backgrounds with a fleshed-out character that they can relate to and feel seen through; this also serves as normalising and supporting their identities to the gaming community at large, to an extent.

Within gaming communities, while a heavy masculine bent remains, there are efforts to bring about spaces in gaming for marginalised communities. In the competitive scene for Valorant, a 5v5 team-based first-person shooter (a genre considered heavily male-dominated), organisations such as Galorant and the developers Riot Games have made steps towards creating events for women and other people of marginalised genders: this has led to the first international women’s LAN championship for the game being held recently in Berlin (Robertson 2022). MacDonald (2022) also reports that there has been an increasing fanbase for queer Twitch streamers and queer gaming Discord servers where LGBT+ people can meet and team up to game together. In essence, this helps provide a strong community aspect for many of these gamers who may be otherwise isolated in less-than-conducive environments for people like them, whether that be online or off-line.

However, the patriarchal nature of the online gaming community does rear its head every now and then: players who pick characters who are written with LGBT+ identities can often get homophobic slurs thrown at them, while some level of fetishization occurs for some of these characters, especially from men towards female lesbian characters (Nesseler 2022). Black and Latine gamers are targeted for cyberbullying based on their race (Peckham 2020). A level of misogyny and queerphobia permeates a lot of the general gaming space, with epithets relating to these aspects of identity thrown around willy-nilly.

In conclusion, the gaming sphere possesses numerous benefits for marginalised communities, despite its generally male-dominated demographic. However, the marginalised that do participate in online gaming often face discrimination and negative impacts that are not felt by most gamers. Thus, the communities formed by these individuals are more so a mechanism through which they may continue to enjoy the positives of social gaming while avoiding the pitfalls that the general community has.

References

Clement, J 2022, “U.S. gamers by gender 2022,” Statista, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://www.statista.com/statistics/232383/gender-split-of-us-computer-and-video-gamers/>

Henderson, T 2020, “10 percent of gamers are LGBTQ+ Nielsen study shows,” OUT, Out Magazine, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://www.out.com/tech/2020/8/07/10-percent-gamers-are-lgbtq-nielsen-study-shows>

Kamen, M 2016, “Overwatch confirms first lesbian character,” WIRED UK, WIRED UK, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://www.wired.co.uk/article/overwatch-reveals-first-gay-character>

MacDonald, K 2022, “Meet the gaymers: Why queer representation is exploding in video games,” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://www.theguardian.com/games/2022/jul/27/meet-the-gaymers-why-queer-representation-is-exploding-in-video-games>

Nesseler, C 2022, “Video game players avoid gay characters,” Scientific American, Scientific American, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/video-game-players-avoid-gay-characters/>

Peckham, E 2020, “Confronting racial bias in video games,” TechCrunch, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://techcrunch.com/2020/06/21/confronting-racial-bias-in-video-games/>

Robertson, S 2022, “VCT Game Changers championship 2022: Scores, bracket, and results,” Dot Esports, Dot Esports, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://dotesports.com/valorant/news/vct-game-changers-championship-2022-scores-bracket-and-results>

Webb, J 2022, “Diversity in games: The best (and worst) examples of representation,” Evening Standard, Evening Standard, viewed 7 December, 2022, <https://www.standard.co.uk/tech/gaming/video-game-diversity-representation-a4461266.html>

#mda20009 #week11

[schwazombie]

Sometimes I think about the fact that I didn’t know there were options other than ‘man’ and ‘woman’ until I was in my late 20s / early 30s. I grew up in a super conservative area -- abstinance only, creationism must be taught alongside evolution sort of conservative. The only LGBT folk I knew were my aunt, who always referred to herself as gay and the rest of my family shook their heads in quiet disapproval while talking about hate the sin, love the sinner, the count-them-on-one-hand-with-fingers-leftover somewhat open gay and lesbian people at my school. The B and the T weren’t things I encountered, and no one talked about gender.

I figured every girl felt in a distinctly not positive way when wearing dresses and skirts and bras and all those accoutrements, that every girl looked in the mirror now and again and saw a guy, that everybody must swap up whether they told people they were a guy or a girl online and all girls must secretly also want to be treated as boys. I didn’t talk about any of it, of course, because if I was wrong, if I was being abnormal, I’d get in trouble. So I felt gross and bad and guilty for not being a girl the right way, and secretly cried when my mother and sister and the one aunt made fun of me for not having a big enough chest and felt bad wanting a push-up bra so maybe people wouldn’t think poorly of me for not looking like I should -- and was glad when I was old enough to get one for myself, and gladder still when I could get on birth control because maybe the estrogen would make my chest bigger and I’d look ‘right’.

The first time I met someone who referred to themself as genderqueer was in my last year of undergrad. I was in my mid 20s by that point. The classmate in question was walking with me after class one day and said they’d been meaning to ask me what I was, and at that point since I had no one else to bounce these ideas off of nor any real contact with LGBT ideas, I told them that I was a woman because I was born a woman, but sometimes I had to be a man so when I did then I would be. They asked what I meant and I said that there were certain qualities that were male, and some which were female, and I am a female because that is what I was born as but sometimes I needed to show male qualities and when I did then I was more male. They could have explained to me what genderqueer meant to them, or told me about their experience, or something but instead they acted like I’d done something wrong and never spoke to me again unless they were treating me as someone lesser.

If I had known what genderqueer meant, or had any exposure to LGBT identities, or even felt welcome at LGBT events (which if I ever went to any on campus, I always went feeling like an outsider, like I was there but I wasn’t welcome)... maybe I would have figured out that nonbinary is a thing which exists among a lot of other things before being in my 30s. There’s so much pressure to just know. ‘Do your research!’ but how in a small town where people you’ve never met can look at you and know who your mother and grandmother are just from the resemblance and people you don’t know know your name and face and can tell your parents and teachers and authority figures what you were up to and you can’t even go to the library to look anything up because you shouldn’t be looking at those things, young lady -- if ‘those sorts of things’ are even available because you’re in the middle of nowhere and your only openly gay family member was the next best thing to disowned, and you can’t ask anyone because how can you ask a question if you don’t know there’s a question to be asked, and you just figure there’s something wrong with you?

#zombie thoughts

[mcrmadness]

I have always been more or less of an outsider and an outcast, but some days I really hate it how every aspect of me just seems to strenghten that even more. Somehow I ended up with the identities that make me different and to not fit in with the others in such "marginalized" groups.

I am:

Neurodivergent: so I ever really fit in my peers of which majority were neurotypicals. Back then (late 90s to mid 2000s) there just were no words for this, so I was just Weird and Different, and bullied for that.

Agender: I don't relate to the term "trans". My gender simply does not exist, so there's nothing about it to fix either. Which means I don't relate to trans memes, and I don't relate to gender memes (unless it's another agender making the meme), and I don't understand gender envy because I simply don't feel it.

Asexual and aromantic: so I don't really fit in lgbt+ places. The rainbow flag does not repsent me because it's still so strongly associated with gay people, as well as allosexual (and alloromantic) lgbt+ people, and I'm neither gay nor straight, nor allo. So I don't feel like using the rainbow flag, because it would give the wrong impression of me to people. I, also, do not feel connected with individual flags either, so I've never used the ace/aro/aroace flags.

Loveless aro: I don't connect with any post talking about love or about loving humans. I simply don't love humans. I don't know wha that feels like. I can care deeply about people and animals and things, but it's not the same. It does not mean the same as what "loviing" means to so many. However, I do think I love objects and concepts and ideas. Just not any specific living creature.

Sex-repulsed and romance-repulsed: so at least I fall under the stereotypes of an aroace... but at what cost.

Because of all this above, mainly the aspec aspects (lol you see what I did there), I don't fit in fandom spaces. People go nuts when they see their favorite celebrity, and I don't understand why. That's just a human being? Why are y'all going nuts over a human being? Or why are y'all so keen on seeing skin? Or men in dresses/skirts? What's so special about that? Reblogging posts about my favorite celebrities is almost impossible because of all that commentary added that I cannot relate to because I don't understand what is it so special about that that it causes people to act such ways.

Finding fanfiction is impossible because I don't read mature content. Finding audience for my fanfiction is difficult because I don't write mature content. I am wondering if other aspec people face this same problem, and this is actually why I started writing this post in the first place. My fandom is already very small and the number of fanfics has only two digits in it, so it's not like finding a needle in a haystack, cos the haystack is almost nonexistent but also there is no needle to find.

I try not to compare my AO3 stats to others', but it's really difficult. And it makes me sad sometimes. Mainly because I've gotten the impression that so many people in fandoms treat fanfiction as a way to just find explicit smut to read. Bit like how maybe back in the day, before fanfiction, people would read and write books (about original characters maybe). And as someone who does not write mature content, I feel like when people see that G or T rating there, they don't even give the text a change. I'm not sure if people are there to read stories/hopefully well written text or just to read smut. I mean, there is nothing wrong in either, I'm not saying that there would be. I'm only saying that it makes me, an aroace with sex-repulsion, feel myself so lonely when I write something that means so much to me and then people see it's G or T and don't even want to take a look at it because there's no smut. It could also be just my age, but I've figured I enjoy reading and care about well writen text actually more than the actual plot or events (as long as it's not smut, cos that just is not my thing anymore).

And it also makes me sad that there ARE so well written stories out there but I can't read them because they go into smut so quickly and there's nothing left for me to read because I prefer to skip those scenes from fanfics. So basically I understand that it's probably the same the other way around: G or T is just not their cup of tea. And that's valid. But do they ever even give those a chance? I often try to give a chance for everything, which is why I know well written text exist, and it's a bummer I can't read those because of my preferences.

I also should never ever read other fanfics' comments because, idk, seeing people commenting about those and often focusing on how the smut was written... yeah, just makes me feel like my work is waste of time. Or maybe not waste of time, it's never waste of time to me, but posting them might be waste of time, if reading them is not really anyone's cup of tea. Especially now when I have started to back away from even fluff. I used to love writing fluff, because no one was writing nice fluff without smut, so I had to write it myself. But lately I have been writing fluff so much that it has lost its magic. It's boring now. I have gone through every possible scenario and can't come up with new ones that would be exciting anymore. Everything is just repeating itself. I'm kiss-repulsed, so I have never enjoyed writing or mentioning the kisses, but they still were a big part of the fluff I wanted to read about, so I included those. But now they also feel pointless. I don't like how they feel like the peak of a scene every time. It's not. There are other important things too than to always end a scene with two people kissing, I don't like it being the climax of a scene anymore. I'm more into the emotional intimacy now, but I'm afraid people are even less into reading my fanfics if I stop writing even that physical fluff.

I wish I had OCs to write about. That way it could be a G as I just want and people could read and rate it without expectations. But I don't know what I should write about. Nothing interests me, you know? What I said there about me nowadays valuing the text over the events and content, this also applies to my own writing. I LOVE writing, but in order to do that, I must write about something interesting to me, but I can't come up with any kind of interesting plot or character I would be INTERESTED in writing about. I always play with ideas of a story but I feel like everything has veen invented already and it could accidentally turn into a knock-off I did not even realize would be copying something. The worst case scenario would be to invent something and have someone else tell you you're plagiarising something, you have never even heard of before, but people would not believe you because people are so keen on lying anyway. (Or then I'm just traumatized by that case when I was 10 and drew a comic book character and someone claimed I had copied it from a comic I had never even heard of, and she did not believe me when I said I don't even KNOW what that comic is. She was convinced I was just lying to her.)

I don't know. Maybe I should try actual brain storming. Writing down and doodling stuff in case it would open some loot boxes in my brain I did not even know about. Even an OC comic would be great, or something that was a combination of these two...

#mcrmadness' deep thoughts #asexual #aromantic #aroace #aspec #long post

[satanfemme]

i found out a gay bar near me has a weekly goth night im pogged to hell and really hope i can go, but i've never really been to a bar, do you have any like tips or expectations?

ohhh HELL yeah I love this for u, that's such an exciting discovery!

this is gonna be long since you're fully new to this so I want to be thorough & I'm on adderall rn so, lol. this is a full essay past the cut, hopefully that's fine cause I can't help it!

I think the main thing to keep in mind is every bar's atmosphere and function is different, and even within the same bar the atmosphere can change depending on the day/time. I'd see if u can find any reviews of this specific bar, like on any local community groups ur city may have, subreddits, etc. if nothing else, yelp should give u a general idea (though yelp reviews always skew negative!). in these reviews look for comments on how safe it is ofc, but also things like staff friendliness, how busy it gets, the general upkeep/care of the experience's quality, see if u can find info on how friendly they are towards/if they're populated by any marginalized identities you may have, and lastly see if u can find the age demographic!!!! even if u've already decided on going, it's still good to have specifically tailored expectations ahead of time, rather than blanket statements.

this is gen so important cause I can literally give u a good example & bad example rn. for context (as local culture fully affects the "standard" you can/should expect) I live in a college-town city, which means we have a high-density urban environment + an additional influx of students (ie newly independent teens/young people) + a frequent laid back, have fun and party kinda vibe.

good example: we have a goth club/bar downtown on a nightlife street, sandwiched between other clubs and bars, in a highly populated recreational district. this is the club I frequent and is genuinely a mix of all ages from college teens to old people. it's blatantly minority friendly, especially towards LGBT identities, and has rules in place ensuring patron safety/comfort, even for "minor" issues like enforcing no photos/videos in case anyone doesn't want to be recorded! it's pro-fetish (doubles as a kink club), and often has biker gangs in it as well, which can be either a pro or a con (I find it fun personally) but I'm sure could be startling if ur unaware. the staff is very friendly and respectful, offers earplugs and drink recs at request, and in general there's a strong community feel due to the shared goth identity. it's not bougie, and for the area its in it's actually pretty cheap, but it's well kept and well managed, and therefor fun to go to! also a solid party/dance/music vibe ofc which is what I look for

bad example: we have a gay bar downtown, in a restaurant district, but it's the only place for a block or two open that late at night. the age demographic skews middle-aged, and is rarely frequented by young people at all. the staff is known to be cold, if not a lil rude (honestly, rights!), and the general vibe online seems to be that the place is past it's prime. still, I ignored these reviews and went and. yeah I was literally half the age of everyone else there other than the waiter. the vibe felt very "just sit down and eat something", and I got hit on by a very drunk 60 year old the whole time while the waiter seemed fully unconcerned and uninvested, both wrt the situation and also in general hdfghfg. I'm sure it's a good place for some people, but it's not for me so I have not been back since!

completely different experiences, within walking distance of each other, in the same city, and for the "same" lgbt demographics. but all this info was shit I could've seen (and did see!) ahead of time online <3 so all this to say there's no single bar experience, and u can take this ^ as ur realistic best-case worst-case scenarios to look out for!

as for actually going to the bar, once you know you want to try it out! check the website for things like dress code, age restriction, price (for both entry and food/drink). food/drink service is the kinda thing that just fully depends too btw. there may or may not be waitstaff, the "menu" could vary from just chips to a full dinner menu, you gotta feel it out. if the location has good upkeep, they should probably be carding you (for either drinks or for both drinks and entry) in which case make sure u have up-to-date and relevant(!) identification (the first time I attended the goth club, they wouldn't accept my out-of-state ID cause I was so young, so I had to leave and come back with a federal-assigned passport. but now that I "look" more like an 18+ y/o, my ID alone is fine as a formality).

make sure you have a SOLID plan ahead of time with how to get there and back. including researching the districts/neighborhoods that are between you and the bar itself. the only time I've ever felt unsafe going to the goth club, it's been the times I walked home thru the economical district which empties out after sundown and gets a bit skeevy, or even on the street outside the club itself where there's just a fuck ton of intoxicated people on all the sidewalks -- the majority of whom are not from the same bar or scene as me. ironically, I actually felt extremely safe going to/from the aforementioned gay bar, as the empty restaurant district is extremely safe at night; the only people there are people walking from the occasional bars/late night restaurants (like me!) or dog walkers from the residential district next-door. and then ofc, if ur walking make sure ur ok to walk (u need to be aware of ur surroundings even after u've familiarized urself with the experience), if ur driving make sure ur 100% sober or have a designated driver (for real. even one drink is enough to mess with ur ability to handle large machinery like that, esp at night when it's dark). check public transport schedules ahead of time, and make sure u HAVE money for public transport in the first place (or an uber if that's the option you have!).

side tangent: can not tell u how scary it was the time I was at a club back in new york, in an unfamiliar part of the city, no where near my apartment, and wouldn't you know it both ticket machines for the two subway stops near me were broken on my way home.... and ofc I had no money left on my card cause I just Assumed they'd be fine ahead of time. don't assume like that! especially not if u plan to drink/do drugs! I was completely sober during this too but it was like 2 am and I was alone in the middle of nowhere! without any knowledge of the area's vibes I had to just pray there wasn't any security this late as I hopped the barriers lol (and there wasn't luckily <3 always watch for cops in the nyc subway btw they're awful and will hide to catch people)

uhmmm and I Think that's it I have to say besides the usual advice! going in groups to keep track of each other is always the safest thing to do, especially for new places, tho, I will say it's not fully necessary imo as I almost always go alone and obv I'm fine. have a plan for if things do go wrong tho! self defense keychains, a number to call, or telling a friend where you're going and for how long are all good measures to take. doubt this is relevant to u but jic I recommend against bringing a gun tho, and only bring a knife or pepper spray if u have some amount of training AND practice. (general weapon safety rule: do not have anything on ur person ur not both well-versed in under pressure and prepared to have used against urself in a worst-case scenario)

if you drink, know your limits and stick to them, and don't ever leave your glass unattended. they might try to start you on a tab, make sure that's something you're comfortable with before just accepting out of pressure. don't do any recreational drugs until you've gone a few times and know you're comfortable with the venue (and that the vibe is right for it in the first place!). don't ever accept drugs from strangers, even if it's a drug you're usually good with, even if the stranger has good intentions. you just can't know the source or what's in it for sure. limit how much stuff you bring with you. just the essentials in your pockets is ideal, a bag you can strap to yourself is also good. if the coat-check is unstaffed, you might want to carry it with u at least for ur first visit. be aware of who and what is around you at all times!

and if u ever get a bad feeling about something, or otherwise become uncomfortable: LEAVE! if it sucks shit, hit the bricks! it doesn't even mean ur "giving up on" the place or even had a bad time overall, you can always come back a different day and try again. if u really don't want to leave for the night, stepping outside to get some fresh air for a few minutes is usually an option too. don't be afraid to say no to anyone and don't be afraid to be "rude" if it means getting someone - even a nice person - to leave you alone!

and that's about it I have to say dhjfgjfdgf hopefully this is useful and good information, and not too overwhelming! and hopefully it doesn't make the experience sound like a chore -- it won't be. even on my worst nights I've always had fun going to bars. I've never encountered any fights or violence or anything, and always have so much fun getting all dressed up just to hang out in a cool space! wishing u so much luck and I hope u have a great time!

#Anonymous #alcohol #drugs #ask to tag