#like Yes!!! YOU get it!!! Frank sucks! Frank gets away with a /lot/ and he is not an okay person!

[amhrosina]

Sneaky Link (Billy Russo x Castle!Reader)

MASTERLIST // TAG LIST REQUEST

A/N: Nonnie, the way i RAN to my computer to write this. You’re a genius! Here you go! 

Request: Oke so hear me out please...So, Billy Russo and Frank Castle's sister in a backstreet relationship. I know i know it's lame, but i can't imagine Frank's face when he finds out that his sweet-not-so-innocent sister fuck his asshole-but-charming best friend.. Hope you like that idea <3

Summary: Billy finds himself in trouble with his best friend, Frank, when Frank finds out he’s been messing around with you, Frank’s sweet and innocent sister.

(Warnings: Smut at the beginning, oral (fem receiving), reader is called good girl, cursing (lots of cursing), Frank and Billy get into a physical fight with each other (lol), fluffy Billy, not canon obv)

“Oh fuck, Billy. Just like that. Don’t stop.” You moaned, arching your back. Billy’s tongue was currently making you see stars for the third time that evening. The soft comforter on your bed was soaked in sweat, and Billy wasn’t letting up anytime soon. 

“You like that, baby?” He mumbled, circling his tongue around your clit. “Gonna cum again, princess?”  

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, yes.” You breathed, squeezing your eyes shut. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably on Billy’s shoulders, who was somehow smirking and still managing to inch you closer to your release.  

“You’ve been such a good girl today. Cum on my tongue, princess.” 

The moan you let out was unholy as Billy focuses all of his attention on your clit, sucking and licking in perfect tandem. Your body seized as your third orgasm of the day rushes through you, a spark of fiery lust traveling down your spine. Billy doesn’t let up until you physically shove his shoulders away, heart pounding and ears ringing.  

You gulp in air, turning to lay on your stomach. Billy’s soft hands run up and down your spine in soothing strokes.  

“You did so good, baby.” He mumbled into your ear, planting a soft kiss on the back of your neck.  

“You are going to be the death of me, Billy Russo.” You responded, resting your cheek on your folded hands. 

“You love it.” He scoffed, chuckling.  

You push yourself towards the edge of the bed, searching for your underwear in the trail of clothes that started at your front door and ended by your bed.  

“Where are you going?” Billy made himself comfortable, stretching out on the sheets and resting his hands behind his head.  

“I told Frank I’d meet him for drinks. That’s where I was headed when you knocked on the door. And now,” you check the time on your phone, “I’m very late. If you leave before I get back, lock the door behind you.”  

Billy’s frown is evident as you toss articles of clothing around trying to find your dress. You knew bringing up Frank would cause some anxiety, but you really were going to meet Frank.  

“When are we going to tell him?” Billy asked, pointing out the dress that he’d carefully laid on the armchair before ravishing you. 

Billy and you had been messing around for months now, all behind Frank’s back. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of Billy, but Frank had always been protective of you, and you were sure he’d be less than thrilled to find out his best friend had been fucking his little sister for the better half of a year.  

It hadn’t started on purpose, you reasoned. Frank, you, and Billy had been drinking at a bar when Karen had called Frank, frantic about something. Frank had hurried off, leaving you and Billy to your own devices. Three shots later and Billy was pulling your top off in the bar bathroom.  

After that encounter, you’d avoided spending any time alone with Billy, but Billy’s charming and handsome and so good at kissing, so your resolve only lasted a few days. Since then, Billy and you had been sneaking around Frank’s back, stealing glances at each other when Frank wasn’t looking, and sneaking kisses when you could get away with it.  

It started as a casual hook-up, but it certainly didn’t develop as one. You and Billy were together. You cooked dinner for each other, went out on dates when you knew Frank wouldn’t stumble across the two of you, and spent most of your free time at each other’s apartments. He brought you flowers every week and referred to you as his girlfriend to his employees at work. You’d even gone to the Anvil Christmas party, albeit as Frank’s plus one, but you were still there, celebrating Billy’s accomplishments with him.  

“Did you hear me? When are we going to tell him?” Billy’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.  

“I don’t know.” You responded honestly. At this point, no matter how you did it, Frank would be upset that you’d hidden it from him. 

“Do you not want to be with me?” Billy rarely sounded insecure, but in that moment, you could feel the insecurities rolling off him. You moved towards the bed, cupping Billy’s cheeks and kissing his nose.  

“Of course, I want to be with you, Billy. You’re everything to me. I just don’t know how to explain that to Frank without him trying to murder you. And then me.” you added, pressing your forehead to his.  

“We should tell him soon. I don’t like hiding things from him. We’ve always trusted each other.”  

“I know. We’ll tell him soon. I promise, okay? But I really have to go.”  

Billy nodded, kissing your cheek and standing.  

A knock at the door had both of you on alert. You moved to answer it, but Billy stopped you and held out his shirt in his hands. You looked down and realized you were still naked, minus the underwear. A sheepish grin crossed your face as you threw the shirt on. 

You swung open the door, ready to tell whatever solicitor that you weren’t interested, but you stopped short when you exchanged glances with your brother, who looked rightfully concerned. 

“Where the hell have you been? I waited for you for over an hour, and then you wouldn’t respond to my texts or calls, so I thought ‘Oh she must be getting murdered. Then you open the door with this ridiculous smile on your face, like you aren’t incredibly late for something!”  

Frank stormed through the door, and before you can respond, takes in the fact that Billy is standing in your bedroom doorway, shirtless and guilt-ridden. Frank turned and looked at you, glancing down at your shirt and then back at Billy, who is holding his hands up innocently. Frank’s face is stoic, but you can see the rage churning in his eyes. The apartment is so quiet you can hear Billy’s breathing from across the room. The calm before the storm, apparently. 

“’the fucks wrong with you, you bastard?” Frank charged at Billy, who only lifted his hands higher to try and push Frank away from him.  

“Frank, stop!” You yelped, trying to figure out how to stop Frank from killing your boyfriend. Frank slammed Billy into the wall, punching Billy in the jaw.  

“It’s not what you think. I’m not just-” 

“Just what? Fucking my sister? I thought you were different, Billy. What the fuck is wrong with you?” Frank’s fist connected with Billy’s face again, and you let out a yelp as blood starts to trickle down Billy’s face.  

“Frank, stop! It’s not like that! He’s my boyfriend, Frank! We’re not just messing around!”  

Frank freezes, mid-swing, and turns to look at you. He’s very clearly confused at your confession. 

“Your boyfriend?” Frank drops Billy, who slumps against the wall and lets out a wheeze. “What do you mean, your boyfriend?” 

“I mean, he’s my boyfriend, Frank. We’re together. And we should’ve told you, but I knew you’d react just like this, like a fucking psycho, so I didn’t say anything. And I made Billy promise he wouldn’t say anything to you. If you’re going to be mad at someone, be mad at me.”  

“You’re together?” Frank looks between you and Billy, shaking his head. “Like together, together?” 

“Yes, now can I please go put some pants on and trust that you’re not going to pummel his face in?” 

“I need to talk to you.” Frank points at Billy, who stands and wipes the blood from his face.  

“Yeah, alright.” He responds, nodding.  

When you make it to your bedroom, you can hear the muffled sound of Frank speaking. He still sounded angry, but at least he wasn’t actively trying to punch Billy anymore. You searched through your drawers until you found an old pair of sweatpants, slowly pulling them on. You wanted to give Billy and Frank enough time to talk it out, but you didn’t want to leave them alone for too much longer.  

You creeped through the doorway, where you found Billy sitting on your couch with an ice pack pressed into his jaw, and Frank, searching through your fridge.  

“Is everything...good now?” You asked tentatively, looking back and forth between your boyfriend and your brother.  

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna see any of that lovey-dovey shit. I’m not happy about it, but I can’t stop you from being an idiot.” Frank responded, pulling three beers out of the fridge and setting them on the counter.  

Billy gave you a small smile, but grimaced when pain shot through his jaw again. You could already see the bruises blooming on his face.  

“Okay...do you want to watch a movie?” You asked, trying to play it off like this was a totally normal night.  

Frank handed you a beer, then handed Billy one.  

“Sure, princ- Um.” Billy cleared his throat and said your name. Frank rolled his eyes and sat down next to Billy, which left you the seat next to Frank. You tried not to roll your eyes at Frank’s choice of couch cushions and flopped down next to him. It was going to be a long movie.  

When Frank finally left hours later, he sent you a pointed look on his way out the door. He had barely looked at you or Billy the entire night, but you considered it progress anyways. It was better than physically punching each other.  

Billy had stretched his legs out on the couch, propping his head up on a pillow.  

“So that went...well?” He questioned, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” You rushed to his side, trying to get a better look at the bruises forming on Billy’s face.  

Billy waved a hand and shrugged. “If all I got was a couple licks to the face, I call that a win. He’ll come around.”  

Frank did eventually come around, but he certainly took his time. For the first month after his discovery, he wedged himself inbetween you and Billy as often as he could. Whether it be on the subway, in a bar stool, or at your house, Frank always managed to separate the two of you. It was frustrating, but Billy assured you that he would take the time he needed to get over it and come around.  

When Billy took your hand to pull you out of the way of a fast-approaching cab one night, Frank eyed your intertwined hands, and then looked away, pretending not to notice it. You squeezed Billy’s hand in celebration but didn’t say a word. The first time Billy kissed you in front of Frank, he had gotten an emergency call from work and had to rush out of the bar you were sitting in. He had planted a kiss on your lips without thinking about the present company and bolted out the door, leaving you with a very red face.  

Frank had taken a sip of his beer and continued the conversation you were having before Billy’s departure. The small victories were few and far between, but you and Billy were patient.  

Finally, what felt like months later, Frank made a joke about Billy being your boyfriend, and you felt like you could finally relax. Billy clearly made you happy, so Frank got over it. Later that night, you were wrapped in Billy’s arms in your bed, half-asleep and listening to Billy’s voice as he read from your favorite book.   

“You know,” Billy mumbled to your sleeping form, “I hope Frank doesn’t react the same way when I ask you to marry me.”  

He chuckled as you snuggled into his chest, unconscious to the world around you. You and Billy hadn’t spoken about marriage, but he had clear intentions with you. He wasn’t going to let you get away.  

He leaned over and clicked the lamp off, sending the room into complete darkness.  

“Goodnight, my love.” He sighed, kissing your hair. “I can’t wait to say that to you for the rest of our lives.” 

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @emiemiemiii @messymissy @mossexe

#billy russo #billy russo x you #billy russo x castle reader #billy russo x reader #billy russo imagine #billy russo smut #billy russo fluff #billy russo au #billy russo x female reader #billy russo fanfic #billy russo angst #the punisher #the punisher nextflix #ben barnes #marvel #marvel imagine #marvel au #marvel smut #one shot #female reader #fluff #frank castle #reader is frank castles sister #requested #amhrosina

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by the always amazing @rogerzsteven (new fic drop!) @ebdaydreamer @bidisasterbuckdiaz (new fic drop!) @theotherbuckley @wikiangela @daffi-990 and @tizniz (new fic drop!) Thank you all so much and go check out their works!

Doing this on my lunch break, so dropping this snippet from NFL Buck real quick! Hope ya'll enjoy! All things NFL Buck.

It’s their second date after getting back together, after Eddie had attended his first session of therapy and his mind had been whirling, stuck on one particular question. It took him until the main course was served to finally ask, “When did you know?” Evan pulls his hungry gaze from his steaming plate of lasagna to look at Eddie in confusion, “Um, I told you about this place and their lasagna like a week ago and if I recall you-“ “No, not when you knew what you wanted for dinner. Jesus Christ, we really need to take a closer look at your meal plan with how often good food is on your mind.” Eddie snarks. Buck shrugs, unaffected by Eddie’s bitchy remark, “Well now you know the way to my heart.” Then winks. Flustered at his boyfriend’s shameless flirting, Eddie sputtered and flushed.  “You-Evan-you are just-“ The college quarterback chuckled and reached across the table to take Eddie’s hand, “God you are so easy to rile up, its adorable.” He gives his hand a squeeze three times and ducks his head to meet Eddie’s dropped gaze, “Just tell me what you meant. When did I know what?” Eddie sucks in a breath then pushes it out and puts his entire focus on Evan, “When did you know you were bi-sexual?” His boyfriend’s eyes go slightly wide, but he doesn’t look away and the grip on Eddie’s hand tightens, “What-um, what brought this on?” He asks. “Therapy.” Eddie responded, dropping his voice to a lower volume, “I brought up our date to Frank and he steered the conversation into the whole sexual identity and near the end, he told me I should hear other queer stories and that’ll help give me a better understanding of… well who I am.” “That makes a lot of sense. Seeing and hearing others in the community, helps makes sense of the world and shows that you are not alone.” Evan nods in understanding, “So, it’s not just the when of it all, but how too?” “Yea, yea. But you – you don’t have to tell me any of it. Frank pointed out that no one, not even you, owes me their story. I just… Well, I feel really comfortable and safe with you, and I hope it’s the same with me for you. You know? And I always want to know more about you, and this is a part of it. Also, it’s just so- “ “Hey, hey, hey. Eddie. You’re rambling. Which is my thing.” Buck cuts in, giving Eddie a chance to suck in break in his word spew. The younger man chuckles, “Going give me quite the complex directing all this at me.” “I’m sorry.” Eddie breaths out, gripping Evan’s hand tighter. “No apologies needed. Seriously. I am really honored, because I do feel comfortable and safe with you and I am so fucking ecstatic that you do as well.” ‘I feel like I could give you, my heart.’ Eddie thought but doesn’t voice the words. It’s too soon, he just got Evan back, and he’s just beginning to untangle the mess that was his mind and life. Instead, he says, “Me too.” He eases his grip and begins to play with Buck’s fingers, “So you’ll tell me?”

Getting some backstory of the boys and yes a version of Tommy is a part of it.

Tagging (no pressure): @spotsandsocks @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @try-set-me-on-fire @devirnis @bi-buckrights @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @rainbow-nerdss @watchyourbuck @perfectlysunny02 @aroeddiediaz @loserdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @bi-buck-coded @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @sunshinediaz @ladydorian05 @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @bibuckbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @bigfootsmom @911onabc @911-on-abc @smilingbuckley

#wip wednesday #tag game #my wip #911 abc #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #nfl #quarterback buck #firefighter eddie #secret relationship #bi buck #gay eddie #coming out story #therapy eddie

[itwasthereaminuteago]

“I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that.“ with Matt Murdock ??

Little bit of voyeurism snuck in there, hope that's okay, haha!

Fuck, you mutter under your breath, your fingers blindly furrowing through Matt's hair as he buries his head between your thighs.

"ohh-" you softly whimper as the tip of his tongue snakes in a frustrating circle around your clit.

This time you felt him grinning against your pussy before he pulls away for a moment to tease you more.

"oh c'mon sweetheart, I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that."

You glare down at him, knowing he can sense the weight of your stare. "And I'm sure Frank, who may I remind you is asleep next door, would appreciate that?"

The pair of you had let him crash on the couch before he was due to head off across the country later that morning.

Matt chuckles, "he's awake" he tells you, before peppering kisses along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, cocking his head as you sigh deeply in response. "and I think he's enjoying the show."

You freeze. "What-"

You're cut off as he dives back in, swiping a firm wide stripe up through your dripping folds and then flicking repeatedly over that bundle of nerves at the apex, sucking on it and making it swell.

You can't help but cry out, clamping your legs around his ears and bucking your hips against his mouth as he draws you rapidly up to your peak again. "oh god, ohh Maaaaatt!"

"Mm that's it baby, let him know how good I make you feel."

He encourages you to use him, his hands kneading against your ass and pulling you even closer, relentlessly chasing more of your desperate sounds in the midst of this sudden ridiculous peacocking competition. But you don't care, because he's right. He makes you feel like you're flying and like you'll explode all at once, and you definitely can't keep quiet about it.

"Yes, oh fuck yes! rightthererightthererightthereohmattohfuuuckkk-"

Matt hums against you as you cum screaming on his mouth, lapping up everything you have to give, letting you shudder and shake until you're completely spent before he's moving over you, pressing another loud moan from your throat as he pushes the fat head of his cock inside you.

You whimper and moan at every deep thrust, your fingers tugging at the sheets and his hair, clawing his back, wherever you could reach.

"give me one more sweetie," he groans against your neck, already worked up and close to cumming from the pleasure he gets from eating you out. "I know you can give me another... and make it loud."

He fucks you hard with such a punishing pace and it's all you can do to hold on and take it. The friction of his pelvis grinding against you and the idea that someone, that Frank, was in the next room likely getting off on the two of you was enough to send you crashing over the edge again in no time.

You barely hear Matt praising you repeatedly over the high volume of your moans as he pulses and spills at the sensation of the clenching velvet walls of your cunt with a few final erratic thrusts.

His head drops to the crook of your neck and you smile against his cheek. "Loud enough for you, Mr Murdock?" you inquire, breathing heavily, the two of you still entangled in each other.

He tilts his head towards the door. "Enjoy the show, Frank?"

There's a low grunt from the other side of the door. "Fuck you both."

"maybe next time..." You call back in response, raising Matt's eyebrows to his hairline as you grin and kiss him on the tip of his nose.

"you started it."

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock smut #matt murdock x frank castle x reader #daredevil smut #daredevil x f!reader #matt murdock x f!reader #thanks for the ask! #matt murdock x female reader

[frvnkcastles]

HARD PILL TO SWALLOW ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Frank asks you out on a date and it doesn’t go exactly as he planned.

Warnings: Feminine nicknames, implied PTSD, self-loathing (from both reader and Frank), hurt/comfort, some language

Word count: 1.4k

Author’s note: My self-esteem is nonexistent and PTSD definitely doesn’t make it easier but I feel like Frank would accept me as I am and that thought keeps me going a lot. Also, I’m trying to work on some requests that I’ve received, please be patient!! <3

Frank Castle was not a desperate man. He definitely wasn’t a man who didn’t know how to take no for an answer. Maybe, he’d admit, he could be a bit stubborn when he was in the mood, but he absolutely refused to be the guy who got rejected and couldn’t get over it. He hated those kinds of assholes — so why was it so hard for him to accept you had rejected him now?

He could have sworn you were into him. Shit, he was hardly made of confidence and self-assurance, but for a moment there, he had thought he had had it. Maybe that was on him for taking you for granted, thinking it was going to be an obvious yes.

Still, he had been nervous when he had approached you with the idea. He usually didn’t hesitate to dive head-first into risky situations, but when it came to you, he found himself with trembling hands and a lump in his throat. Although you were shy, you had had a flirty little something going on for a while now, and that had certainly boosted his ego — if you, the usually anxious type, leaned into his cheeky lines, then he had cracked some kind of code.

He couldn’t stop thinking it over. He had shown up outside the school you worked at, surely scaring all of the kids there with his menacing truck and tall and dark appearance. Suddenly, even the wildest children under your care behaved like little angels, and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you headed outside and realized what had the kids rushing off of the school premises. There he was, wrapped in all black, a plethora of bruises painted across his features like artwork, and a crooked grin appearing on his face when he spotted you coming his way.

”Frank”, you greeted him with a nod, adjusting the strap of your bag while shuffling your feet in their place. You never really knew how to act around him, something about him made your head spin without fail. ”What are you doing here?” you continued sheepishly, looking around only to find curious moms eyeing you and your guest up and down. The idea of you together only deepened the red coloring your cheeks, wondering what kind of a duo you were to outside lookers.

”I, uh, thought I could maybe pick ya up”, he shrugged — Jesus, Castle, that was the worst way anyone had ever been asked out on a date.

It was obvious on your face, too. ”Pick—pick me up?” you stammered, a nervous laugh escaping your mouth as you readjusted your backpack.

”Lemme rephrase that”, he cleared his throat, ”I wanted to, uh, ask you out. On a date, that is. Was thinkin’ we could get some lunch, y’know? You gotta be hungry after a whole day of takin’ care of these maniacs.”

It was right there and then that he saw your smile falter and the light go out in your eyes. Fuck, it made his stomach drop.

”They do let me eat here, you know”, you chuckled before reaching up to swipe your hair away from your face. ”I’m… I’m flattered, Frank, I am. But I just don’t, um, I don’t think that’s such a good idea”, the hesitation was obvious in your voice, and a little piece of you broke when you saw Frank suck in a breath and duck his head in a shy nod.

”Aight, that’s… Yeah, yeah, no worries, sweetheart”, he reassured while scratching the back of his neck, but there was no denying that the air between you grew tense and awkward, even more so when he continued. ”Lemme give you a ride home, huh?” he suggested, and only landing another blow to his confidence, you pursed your lips in an apologetic smile and took a step away.

”I’ll walk, it’s okay. I’m—I’m sorry”, you struggled, and afraid to find out what his reaction would be, you looked away and headed in the other direction. You didn’t doubt he would have still managed to be sweet, and angry at yourself now, you fought back tears while hastily making your way home.

All Frank could do was stare after you and chew on his lip in thought. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised — it wasn’t like he was a catch, anyway. He had more baggage than most people combined, and the cons to going out with him probably outweighed the pros, there was no denying. He wanted to be proud that he had taken a chance, but as he dragged himself back behind the wheel, all he could think was that he had fucked up a good thing for good.

And so, while he may not have been desperate, he was determined to try and fix things. That was what led him to your doorstep, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand and his best puppy eyes on display — not that he was trying to get your pity, but he genuinely wanted to mend the gap he had driven between you two.

You answered the door quickly after his knock, and he didn’t miss the surprised and maybe even scared look that crossed your face before you managed a smile at him.

”Hey, sweetheart. I wanted to apologize… for being a presumptous asshole, I’spose. I shouldn’t have sprung that shit on you like that”, Frank tried to explain while handing over the flowers, but you scoffed and shook your head at him in complete disagreement.

”Frank, you don’t have to be—”, you began, but he cut you off.

”Nah, hey, I get it. Fuck, I get it, girl. It’s probably dangerous and a lotta work to try and make it work with me, y’know, I just figured… you were worth it”, he chuckled, and you couldn’t help but throw your hands onto your face out of sheer frustration — none of it directed at him, but rather, purely at yourself.

”I didn’t say no because of you, Frank”, you interjected, your hands in the air as you boldly locked eyes with him. ”I accept all of you. Just the way you are. I wouldn’t change a thing about you, I—I really… really care about you, okay?” you insisted, and stunned into silence, Frank gazed at you with soft eyes.

”Then what’s the issue here, sweetheart?” he asked quietly, and with your bottom lip wobbling, you hesitated.

”It’s me”, you whispered, your voice so weak under the weight of your words, you could barely get the words out.

Frank’s eyebrows glued together. ”Whaddya mean? Is it… is it work? Or..?” he asked, sincerely confused, and it only made it harder for you to explain without crying.

”No… No, Frank, it’s—it’s who I am. It’s who this… this stupid fucking disorder makes me. I’m not easy to love. I think—I think it takes a lot of effort to be around me, actually. You haven’t seen me at my worst and I don’t think you’d stick around if you did”, you tried to explain, tears streaming down your face despite your frantic efforts to wipe them away.

Silence enveloped the room in its grasp and your soft sniffles were the only sound to shatter it. You couldn’t help but feel like this already would be enough to scare Frank away; make him realize you were more trouble than you were worth, and you had never been more terrified.

But Frank… he stepped over to you and gently took a hold of your jaw, lifting your head up so he could look into your eyes. ”Sweet girl…”, he murmured, leaning his forehead down to yours. ”Even at your worst, I’d find you the fuckin’ best. Goddamn incredible, ya hear me? Ain’t nothin’ that would push me away, I promise”, he swore, ”you’ve dealt with so much of my bullshit… and you still don’t think you deserve to be cared for, too?”

A sob broke free from your chest, and Frank shushed you gently. ”To be honest with you, I ain’t lookin to just eat lunch together. You have my fuckin’ heart, baby. I want all o’you”, he went on, and a sincere smile stretched your mouth as you shut your eyes and nodded.

”I feel the same way, Frank”, you whispered, and breaking into a smile of his own, he licked his lips.

”Then… it okay with ya if I kiss you now, sweetheart?” he muttered, and with a quiet laugh bubbling out of you, you nodded rapidly.

And somehow, as his lips connected with yours for the first time, it felt like maybe it would work out for the best.

#frank castle #frank castle fanfiction #frank castle x reader #the punisher #the punisher x reader

[wallydrling]

what have the easter lilies whispered about us?

rating: teen

pairing: wally darling/gn! reader

author's note: it's on ao3 too (and much better formatted over there)!

Julie is not helpful.

You love her, and she's sweet and bubbly, but her advice? Useless, irrelevant, terrible. She is sitting across from you, feet propped up in your lap as she lies on her back and flips through a magazine. She'd been happy to come over at your very sudden request (is always happy to get some extra time with you), but you're beginning to think that you perhaps should have sought out a different resident for the topic that has been plaguing your mind.

"Look, it isn't hard," she says, peering over the magazine to beam at you. "Wally is very receptive to criticism! Just tell him that he sucks at kissing and that you want him to improve."

"What? No–Julie." You shove her legs off of your lap. "He doesn't suck at kissing. He's really cute! His kisses are sweet! He does the muah thing, you know? It's super endearing."

She sits up, grabs you by the shoulders, and gives you a little shake. "I get it! Wally has been my friend practically forever. Everyone knows he's cute! But," she waggles her eyebrows at you, "you don't want him to just do the muah thing anymore, right?"

Yeah, she definitely wasn't the right resident for this. You should've asked Frank, or Eddie–hell, even Barnaby might have better advice. You have no qualms about your relationship with Wally. It is still new; that's true, and he's still learning many different things in many different ways. He asks a lot of questions, and he tries really, really hard. He's constantly pestering Barnaby for romantic advice (or so you hear), and the amount of care that he puts into being better for you is more than you ever could've asked for.

"I don't want to push him," you say. The last thing you want is to drive him away when you've only just gotten him so close. But, "I just…want more from him. I want to try more with him."

Julie hums, considering your words carefully. "Well, have you ever thought that maybe he'd be willing to try if you were honest with him about what you want?"

You sigh, fiddling with the hem of your sweater. "I'm worried that he'd say yes to anything just to appease me."

"Ah, I see," Julie nods. "He is a people-pleaser. Well! You know what that means," she grins at you, and you shake your head because no, you don't. "I've got to play the middle party! I'll take matters into my own hands."

Your eyes go wide, and you begin stuttering out, "What? No–Julie, you can't-"

"Don't worry," she squishes your face between her tiny hands. "I won't say anything to him directly. I'll just…have Barnaby ask him a few pointed questions, and I'll get his answers from the flowers!"

Mouth puckered as she holds onto you, you mumble, "You shouldn't use your connection with the flowers to eavesdrop, Julie."

She gasps, hand flying to touch her chest dramatically. "Eavesdrop? I'm simply helping your relationship blossom!"

You know that she's not likely to take no for an answer, so you merely purse your lips and stare her down. "Just–make sure Barns doesn't push him too hard, alright? I don't want him getting overwhelmed and shutting down."

She gives you a little salute and hops up to her feet. "Your wish is my command!" Her dress flops up and down as she skips towards your front door. She stops, one hand on the knob, and turns to give you her brightest, warmest smile. "I know Wally very well, neighbor. Sometimes, he just needs a little push."

"Okay," you try and return her smile, but the one tugging at your own lips feels forced. "I trust you, Julie."

She blows you a kiss, and leaves your home as quickly as she'd come. Your heart pitter-patters in your chest, and nervousness seeps into your bones, causing your hands to shake. You and Wally have been, pointedly, taking it slow. You're happy to go at his pace. But, you find yourself wondering often if what you see for your relationship as it progresses is what Wally sees. Do your visions line up? Has he even thought about the long-term? Are you more invested than you should be?

You are trying hard not to discredit his feelings. He says he loves you, and you want to believe that he knows what that means. So, maybe Julie is right. The only thing left to do is be honest.

–

The rapid knocking at your front door startles you out of your almost-sleep. You've been tired as of late, staying up throughout the night to plan Home's very first group painting session-slash-picnic that is taking place next week. Plus, your concerns about you and Wally's relationship haven't exactly been lulling you to sleep, either. You need cat-naps just to get you through the day.

"I know you're home!" comes Julie's voice, slightly muffled by the door, but still as chipper as always. "Open up! We have urgent matters to discuss."

You yawn, rubbing at your eyes as you go to let her inside. She marches straight into your living room the moment you open the door and plops down on your sofa.

"I had a very interesting conversation with the flowers today," she says by way of greeting.

Your heart does a great big jump in your chest. You almost don't want to know what she heard, but curiosity gets the best of you. "Go on."

"Alright! So," she smooths down her pretty, pink dress, and folds her hands in her lap. "The other day, after our little conversation, I gave Barnaby a list of questions to casually ask Wally. You know, basic stuff! Like, how's your relationship going? And, are you happy?"

"Okay," you say slowly, nodding.

"I told him the goal was to get Wally to open up a bit," she continues. She's speaking quickly now, clearly eager to get all of her newly-learned information out. "And, oh boy, open up he did! The flowers were very detailed when I asked them what he said."

She reaches out to take your hand. "Firstly, Wally is trying to plan a date for you! I nearly squealed when I heard that, seriously! I don't know the details, but the marigold told me that he asked Barnaby what dates are like, what people usually do on them. He was taking notes on his notepad and everything. Isn't that just the sweetest?"

A lump forms in your throat, making it near impossible to speak. You manage to get out a strangled, "Yes. So sweet."

A date. A date. How did he even learn about dates? From Julie's silly novels, no doubt, or perhaps Frank and Eddie. You're not sure he understands the concept (he has only just learned what 'hanging out' means), but he's got the spirit. He is trying to be romantic, for you.

If you think about it for too long you know you'll end up in tears, so you squeeze Julie's hand and ask, "What else did he say?"

"Well, Barnaby started to pry a bit more," she says. A big grin splits her face in two, and her eyes go slightly hooded and foggy with a dreamy sort of look. "He asked Wally,'what's your favorite part about being in a relationship?' And, naturally, Wally gave the cutest, sweetest little answer ever, which was: 'I just like being able to hold hands with my dearest friend.' But, the violets told me he blushed after that, got all embarrassed, and said, 'I also like it when they play with my hair. No one ever really did that, before them.'"

"Oh," your heart gives an abhorrent kick from inside your chest. He likes it when you play with his hair? It doesn’t happen often; his hair is almost always styled to perfection, and when the two of you spend time together, it is typically in a public space. However, there are tiny blips in time, moments in which the sun has made you tired, and the two of you head back to your place together, arm in arm. You’ll sit on the couch, head propped up against the back of it, and Wally will sprawl out like a cat in your lap. His hair, curled nice and tight, unfurls as you gently run your fingers through it. The motion tends to lull you to sleep, and Wally has never said anything about it–has never asked you not to do it– but you weren’t aware that he liked it, either. You weren’t aware that there were any elements of physical affection that he enjoyed. Had always just presumed that he didn’t mind one way or the other.

Julie is practically vibrating with excitement, perched on the edge of the sofa cushion. She says, “Wally has always been open to physical affection. He didn’t really understand it before we taught him what we know, that’s true, but–since he started going out with you, he’s gone from being indifferent, to liking it. That’s a good sign, neighbor.”

“I know,” you agree.

“And,” she goes on, “there’s one more thing that I simply must tell you. I heard it from the Easter lilies, and it’s too juicy to skip over.” She leans forward as if she’s preparing to spill her deepest, darkest secret. Her voice drops down to a whisper, and she says, “Wally said, and the lilies quote, ‘I’m going to ask them for a kiss. A real kiss; like the ones I’ve read about in books. I want to know what it feels like. I want to try, but only with them.’ Isn’t that just the bees knees?”

Your mouth pops open, and your eyes go a little wide. You can feel warmth gradually creep into your cheeks, and the tips of your ears. You’ve got a flush going all the way down your neck that disappears beneath the collar of your sweater. A real kiss? Your mind is spinning with a dozen different questions. You weren’t even aware that Wally knew the difference between the types of kisses the two of you usually share, and a “real kiss.” You have got to confiscate Julie’s novel collection from him.

“Barnaby told him that being blunt was perhaps not the best way to go about it,” Julie says. “So, Barns suggested that Wally take you on a date, and work his way up to asking you for one! I have no idea what kind of date he’s planning, but I’m sure it will be uniquely him!”

“A date,” you repeat. “A real kiss. This is all–oh my, what if it’s happening too fast? I mean, Wally and I have only truly been a couple for a few months, now. I don’t know if I’ll–well, I mean. Oh, Julie,” you bury your face in your hands, huffing out a long sigh. “This is all so scary.”

She frowns, and tugs your hands away from your face. “I thought this is what you wanted, though.”

“It is,” you say quickly. “I mean, obviously, it is. But, I’m nervous too. I want it to be good for him. If I’m his first real kiss, I should make it special. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“Hey,” she gently nudges her shoulder against yours. “He loves you. I think you could probably pour all of his paint down the sink, and he’d still think you hang the sun in the sky every morning.”

Though you know there is truth to her words, your hands still tremble at the thought of what is to come. Wally, when he has something on his mind and is able to fully conceptualize it, is blunt. If he’s been thinking about the progression of your relationship, he is going to bring it up. He doesn’t understand nuance very well; can’t read the mood of a room, or pick apart the vibe of a specific conversation. And, if you don’t choose your words correctly, he may think that you’re not interested.

“You’ve got to get ready,” she says. “He’s coming over to ask you on that date in just a few hours. There’s no time to waste!”

“What?” You nearly choke on your own breath, heart jack-hammering behind your ribcage. “He wants to take me on a date today? Why didn’t you lead with that, Julie?”

She giggles, whistle-clean and sheepish, and brushes her hair over her shoulder. “Slipped my mind, I suppose. I was too excited to relay the flowers’ messages! Now,” she stands up, tugging you up from the couch with her. “Go put on something terribly cute! If I know Wally’s schedule as well as I think I do, he’s probably just finished up tormenting Howdy at the bodega. That means he’s headed to the post office next, and you’ve got approximately one hundred and two minutes to look your best!”

She gently shoves at your back to get you moving, and you shuffle down the hallway towards your bedroom. She heads to the door, and calls out an airy, “Have fun tonight! I know it’s going to be love-o-ly!” You hear the door shut behind her as she leaves, and you stand in the middle of your bedroom, tension so tight in your shoulders that it almost hurts.

Right, okay. You know Wally. He is your friend, first and foremost. There’s no need to overthink this. He is nice, and sweet, and silly, and you’re going to have a great time. It’ll be just like any other day with him, only slightly more pointed. You just need to put the whole kissing thing out of your mind for the time being. You want to progress the intimacy aspect of your relationship, and it seems that Wally does, too. Best to let it happen naturally.

You shower, and then rummage through your closet in search of something to wear. It’s nice and warm outside, so you opt for something light and breezy. You get dressed, and take the time to style your hair in your vanity mirror. You think it might be smart to apply some lip balm just to be safe (you never know where the afternoon might lead), so you do that quickly, and then step back to take a look at yourself. Casual, but chic. Julie would be pleased.

You’re dawdling around your living room, wondering if you have time to run to the bodega and get him a gift (What would you even buy him? New paint? Brushes?), when there’s a rhythmic knock on your door.

“Okay,” you mumble to yourself, taking a deep breath. “No need to be nervous. It’s just Wally. You see him every day. Relax.”

You carefully school your features, and then pull the front door open.

And it’s like–you knew he’d be here, standing in front of you, ready to take you on a date. Julie had prepared you. But actually seeing him is so, so much more than you’d anticipated. He is wearing a rainbow button-down, red ascot, and navy slacks. His hair is styled as it usually is, but he’s left a few strands out to frame his face. He is smiling at you, a smile you’ve seen probably a thousand times by now, but it leaves you winded, anyway, and he is clutching a bouquet of paper flowers in his hands.

“Hi,” he greets you. He doesn’t look nervous, but then, he’s never been very easy to read. He holds out the paper flowers. “I made these for you.”

You gingerly take them from him, and bring them closer to your face. They smell of paint and cardboard, and the tiniest bit of strawberry, and you quirk a brow at him.

“Spritzed them with some fragrance that Howdy made,” he shrugs.

“They’re my favorite color,” you say.

He grins. “I know.”

You carefully set them on the coffee table inside your home, step out into the fresh air, and close the door behind you. Wally is standing in front of you, hands neatly clasped in front of himself like he doesn’t quite know what to do with them. His face is carefully blank sans a little smile, and you clear your throat, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. You’ve never struggled for words in front of him before, and it’s difficult to keep your breathing even as you meet his gentle gaze.

He asks, easy and warm, “Would you like to go on a date with me, neighbor?”

Your lips twitch, tiny smile finding its way to your face. “A date?” You question. “What exactly does that mean to you?”

He mulls it over for a moment, and replies, “A date can be a lot of different things. I asked Eddie, and he said there’s no right way to go on a date. Howdy says it’s just about doing something special with the person you care about.”

“They’re very insightful,” you muse. You hold your hand out to him, and he takes it with ease. The act of twining your fingers together is still new to him, so he does it a bit slowly. Clumsy. “Yes, I’d love to go on a date with you, Wally.”

He seems content with basking in comfortable silence as he leads you to the date’s location. He has never understood the implication of what too much quiet means, and you like that he possesses no stigma towards it. It’s nice to be with someone who isn’t pressured to be anything more or less than he is. You’ve always liked Wally because is, unapologetically, himself. The more he learns about feelings and relationships, the more him he seems to become.

“Okay,” Wally comes to a stop at the edge of Home’s main walking path. “You have to close your eyes. I want you to be surprised.”

You do ask he requests, eyes shut tight, and Wally continues leading you forward by your hand. He must forget that you can’t actually see, because he doesn’t so much as guide you as he does catch you when you trip and stumble over things. The terrain has become uneven, rocky, and you spend the next five minutes trying not to faceplant over what you think are massive tree routes.

He stops walking again. “Okay, neighbor. When you’re ready, open your eyes.”

You square your shoulders, and take a deep, steadying breath.

He has taken you to the beginnings of the forest. You’ve never come out this far before, had no real reason to, but it is just as beautiful as you might’ve imagined. The trees are green, green with spring, and wildflowers sprout beneath your feet. Underneath a giant maple tree rests a table and two little stools, all made out of old stumps and logs. In the center of the table is an array of different foods, and one tiny daisy in a jar. Away from the hustle and bustle of Home, you’re able to hear nature in all of its fullness. Birds sing dozens of branches overhead, and the wind whistles wispy tunes between the leaves.

“Oh,” you exhale, eyes impossibly wide. “This is amazing, Wally. You put this together yourself?”

“Mostly,” he tells you. “Howdy provided the food, and Barnaby helped carry the logs. I came up with the idea, though. I wanted to see what you’d look like surrounded by all this green.”

You don’t have the words. Don’t know what you could say, when he has clearly put so much thought into this. You’re reminded of what Julie had said to you earlier, little tidbits of information she learned from the flowers. That Wally likes you, and he likes physical affection from you. That he is trying to learn so much about relationships for you. It makes your chest ache with fondness, and the only thing you’re able to do is turn to him and pull him into a tight hug.

His reaction speed is still slow no matter how many hugs you give him. When you wrap your arms around his neck and tug him close, he goes limp against you for half a second. But then his arms sneak up, and wrap tight around your waist. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, and stands there with you, still as the dirt beneath the soles of your shoes. His hands smooth along the curve of your shoulders, and then the small of your back, and you shudder against him before pulling away.

“This is very sweet, Wally,” you say. “Thank you for planning this for me.”

“No need to thank me,” he says, the soft yellow of his cheeks turning just the slightest bit pink. “Come on, let’s sit. You should eat, and I want to draw you.”

You take a seat on one of the stools, and Wally sits on the other. He carefully unpacks the food for you, and urges you to dig in. Between your chat with Julie and getting ready for the date, you’d forgotten to eat all day. You’re all too happy to eat the fruits and bowls of snacks in front of you. Wally watches you with a big smile, eyes catching light from the sun. He pulls out his sketchbook and a brand new red crayon, and begins sketching you.

This certainly isn’t the first time he’s drawn you, but it’s the first time you feel so aware of it. You try to focus on your food, but you can feel the way his eyes follow every single minute movement that you make. Your belly is swimming with nerves by the time he’s finished, and you know that you must be blushing because your face feels incredibly warm.

“Ah, sorry it took so long,” he says, holding the drawing close to his chest. “I wanted to get your features just right. Your lips are awfully hard to draw.”

You set down the bowl of fruit you’ve been eating, and quirk an inquisitive brow at him. “My lips?”

He nods. “They’re just so…soft looking. Delicate, like flower petals, almost. Hard to get just right.”

Something about the thought of him studying your lips with unperturbed concentration makes your heart race.

“Can I see?” You ask, nodding towards his sketchbook.

“Not yet,” he smiles at you. “I want to take it home and paint it first. But,” he stands from his place at the log table, and holds a hand out to you. “Do you want to look at the clouds with me?”

This has been one of Wally’s favorite things, recently. He’s learned that, by cloud gazing, he’s able to truly let his imagination run wild as he looks up at the sky. You often partake with him, but half the time you’re not even looking at the clouds, too focused on him. He is charming enough as it is, but when he gets that little spark of inspiration in his eyes, you can’t take your gaze off of him. You take his hand and let him lead you away from the table, right beneath a tall, oak tree. There is just enough shade to ensure that the sun doesn’t sting your eyes while still leaving the clouds visible.

You lie on your back, and turn your head to the side to glance at him. He is looking at you, too.

“You know,” he begins, “I was nervous to ask you out, today.”

This surprises you a little. “Really?” He hadn’t looked nervous, not really, but perhaps he just doesn’t know how to express it.

He nods, and sighs as he turns his gaze towards the sky. “Being in a relationship is more confusing than I thought it would be. I just want to do right by you.”

You frown, propping yourself up on one elbow to look down at him. His face is carefully blank, smile gone. Reaching out, you rest your other hand atop his chest.

“Wally,” you flash him a small, sincere smile, “being with you is enough. You don’t have to try and be someone you’re not. And…I don’t want this to be confusing for you. It should be easy, happy, and fun.”

“It’s all of those things,” he assures you, “but I sometimes have these…feelings that I don’t know what to do with. I try to ask the others for advice, but they mostly just tease me.”

Your curiosity has peaked, now. “What kind of feelings?” You ask.

He mimics you, propping himself up on an elbow too. Lying like this, his face dangerously close to yours, you have to remind yourself not to get distracted by how pretty he is. You keep your eyes on his as he continues.

“Here,” he rests a hand on his stomach, “and here,” he touches his chest. “I feel like I’m overflowing, sometimes. Like, there is something inside of me that really wants out. I’ve been thinking about things that I never thought about before I met you. And before you say anything, it’s not because of Julie’s romance novels! I mean, yes, I’ve gotten some ideas from them, but I don’t think they’re fully responsible for the way that I just can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

He has always been blunt, but his words give you no time to prepare for the swooping heat that flutters through your belly, and renders your face hot. Your mouth pops open in shock, and you have to close your eyes for a moment to gather your thoughts. He sounds sincere; wouldn’t be talking about this at all if he weren't, and the idea of him lounging around, thinking about what it’d be like to kiss you for real is just–it’s enough to have your mind going fuzzy.

“You can,” you manage to get out, voice slightly raspy. “Kiss me, I mean. Anytime you want.”

“What if I want to all the time?” He glances at you. “What if you don’t want to?”

“I always want to,” you assure him.

He looks at you for a long moment, the air stretched thin between the two of you. He studies your face, gaze moving from your eyes to your brows to the curve of your lips. His own face is painted neutral, no sign of anything that he's feeling visible to you. You wonder if you'll ever learn to read him.

"You really want to?" He asks, reaching out to cup your cheek with his hand.

You lean into his touch and nod. "Yes. I really want to."

"Okay," he says, and leans forward to kiss you promptly.

Slowly, you drop the elbow that has been keeping you upright. You lie back, and Wally follows fluidly, half overtop of you as he shades you from the sun. His mouth is pressed to yours firmly, entirely still for a couple of seconds, and then he pulls back to blink at you. You see his eyes cloud briefly, like he's turning over the kiss in his mind. He must gather his confidence because he leans down again, his hand sliding into your hair, and kisses you so swift you lose your breath.

You're stunned at first, body locking up. This is it. You've been thinking about this for so long, dreaming about it, and he wants this too. He doesn't feel pressured, or obligated. He is kissing you, and kissing you, and you part your mouth so that the two of you can properly slot together. He is just the tiniest bit tentative, unsure of what to do. His hand is still in your hair and you feel him beginning to pull away, but you don't want him to be nervous about this. Not with you.

You press up into him, kissing him fierce and sharp and hot. His mouth is soft the way it always is, oddly shaped but easy to adjust to. You press your palm against his neck, the curve of his jaw, and use your tongue to gently coax his mouth open. He is so careful to follow your lead; loves learning, and loves it even more with you. You slide your tongue past his lips, curling it against the roof of his mouth. He shudders full-body and wanton against you when his own tongue twines with yours.

You try to focus on the kiss, on making it good for him and meeting him move for move. But he is nearly on top of you, body pressed to yours from shoulder to hip, and the weight of him there–so present– has you losing yourself, mind fuzzy and limbs getting heavy and jelly-like. His fingers tighten in your hair and tug so that your head falls back, neck curved. The leverage allows him to kiss you deeper, to swipe his tongue along your bottom lip until your belly swoops hot with want.

You yank yourself away from him with a choked off gasp, cheeks burning up. His own, covered in a soft pink color, must match yours.

He says, voice raspy like his throat has been scraped raw with a fork, "I'm sorry. Was that too much?"

"No," you shake your head quickly. "It was good, just–I needed to breathe."

You don't want to give him the wrong idea; the kiss really was good. Better than any you've ever had, and certainly more involved than anything you've done with him previously. You smile at him, soft and sweet, and kiss the apple of his cheek.

"Thanks," you say. "For this date, and for trusting me enough to want to try new things with me, and just…for everything."

"Don't thank me," he tells you. He shimmies down a little, head resting on your stomach. "I just want to spend my days making you happy. If I'm able to do that, then–wow. Life is good, you know?"

You sweep your fingers through his hair, unfurling it. "I know what you mean."

The two of you lie together for an unfathomable amount of time. You drift off here and there, your hands carding through Wally's hair. You almost feel as if you've stepped into some sort of dream world where the only inhabitants are you and him and the butterflies and birds. He's happy to let you snooze beneath him until the sun begins to go down, and then walks you home, your hand in his.

And when he kisses you goodnight on your front porch, all sweet, sweet confidence and pink cheeks, you can't help but feel pleased as punch.

That night, when you dream, it is of blue jays and paper flowers and the warmest smile you have ever seen.

#wally darling #wally darling x reader #wally darling x y/n #wally darling x you #welcome home #welcome home arg #wh #wally darling fanfic

[angelisgonnastartchangingurls]

sam

sam reminded annie of robbie a lot. he was a tall, kind of goofy but handsome guy in his mid-20s. he was two years into a professional career and a kind of early adulthood malaise was setting in.

annie's conversations with him about essentially how to have fun and build a life around work were very frank. he asked her if she did drugs, and she said yes, she did a lot of recreational drugs in fact. they talked about casual sex -- annie told him she was in several very casual relationships but also just tried to cultivate an air of being "basically dtf at all times" that led to things like, she told him honestly, giving her best friend's dad a blowjob. twice.

sam was having a lot of sex, but seemed pretty bored by it. he did well on apps but found it kind of empty. meanwhile, he had lots of nonsexual friendships with women. annie made the suggestion that maybe he could fuck the women in his social groups and he seemed bewildered as to how that would even happen without an app to facilitate. she gave him some pointers.

one day, sam came in and told annie he wanted to tell her about something he'd never told anyone.

he told her that when he was 17 years old, browsing around on social media, he had come across a video of his older sister having sex.

"came across it how?" annie asked.

he explained that it was on tumblr, and he followed a page where real couples submitted things, and one of the submissions was his sister and her boyfriend. and he knew for sure because both of their faces were in the video, as well as their correct first names.

"the internet used to be crazy," annie said.

she asked him how seeing the video made him feel and he said it felt like getting forbidden knowledge. he told her he watched the video, and even downloaded it, and watched it several times over the course of a year or so, at which point he felt guilty and deleted it.

"you ever jerk off to it?" annie asked, curious and nonjudgmental.

"yeah, a couple times," he said.

"did you ever tell your sister?"

"no," he said. "and that's the thing. i feel like i should."

"why?"

"well, i guess like, she's married now, to a different guy, and she's pregnant, and like, we have a different kind of friendship now like a real one, as adults, and I like the way we're being really honest and open with each other, about our lives and our parents and i feel like i'm hiding something from her."

"tell her," annie said.

"she'll freak out."

"i don't know," annie said. "i mean don't tell her you jerked off to it, at least not right away. just tell her you saw it and you wanted her to know because it felt weird to have that hidden from her. i think she'll get it and she might not even mind. i mean she wanted people to see her fucking when she submitted the video."

sam said he'd think about it.

he had kind of a funny grin on his face when he came back the next week.

"so," he said. "i told my sister, and you were right."

"what happened?"

"well, i told her i needed to confess something weird from our youth and i told her, and she laughed, and she was like, oh god i was worried you like killed a dog or something. and then she said she remembered the video really well because it had gone all over tumblr and several of her friends had seen it, which at the time was a real turn on. i said you don't think it's weird that i watched it? and she said, "no, i mean, i was really hot when i made that, i was like 20. i wanted everyone to see me naked."

"how graphic was the video?" annie asked.

"i mean you see everything, it's a full fuck. she sucks his cock, he takes off her clothes, they fuck in a bunch of positions, you see like her entire pussy and ass, and he cums on her pussy at the end."

"shaved?" annie asked.

"yeah," he said.

"so what else happened?"

"she said that if she'd come across a video like that of me she would have absolutely watched it too, and she said she's not ashamed of her body at all, so it's totally fine. and i said she shouldn't be ashamed of her body and she looks even better now than she did then."

"well, that was good thing to say," annie said. "how pregnant is she?"

"i think 20 weeks? she just has a little baby bump. it's cute."

annie sensed there was more to the story, somehow. "so then what?"

sam grinned, "well, then she was like, 'you should show me your cock so we're even.'"

"did she use the word cock?"

"yeah," he said. "why?"

"it's just a very horny word. like, as opposed to dick. or penis."

"well, she definitely said cock, because i was like, 'my cock is not like, very impressive just all by itself.' and she asked if i had any videos of me fucking my girlfriend. which i don't, unfortunately."

"unfortunately," annie said.

"so she was like, 'just get it hard' and i was kind of hesitating, so she showed me her tits."

"wow," annie said. "i like your sister."

"she had this tank top on and she just pulled it down. her boobs are like, way bigger than they were in the video."

"so what did you do?"

he laughed. "i started stroking my cock in my shorts, like trying to get it hard before i pulled it out, and she reached over and pulled my shorts down. like, my cock and balls popped out."

annie laughed. "what did she think?"

"she said, 'you have a great cock.'"

"did you like hearing that?"

"for sure," he said. "and so then i was hard, so i kind of just stood there with it out for a minute. and i said it was weird, and she said it didn't really have to be, she told me she had nothing to hide from me. and i also said that like, i normally am shaved but i was kind of neglecting it, and so then she stood up and she pulled down her jeans and she showed me she had like, a full bush."

"hell yeah," annie said.

"i'd actually never seen a girl in real life with a bush before."

"really?" annie said.

"it's pretty rare," he said. "she's the only one i know."

"i have a full bush," annie said. "so now you know two."

"do you think it's like crazy that she did that?"

"no," annie said. "i live with my brother and he sees me naked all the time and i like it," she said. "i like the intimacy it creates. i don't hide anything from him, either. i like total honesty."

"i like that you're so honest with me," he said. "sometimes i feel like you tell me too much."

"like what?"

"like that you do coke and have a bush, like, it's really weird to sit here across from you and see you all dressed up professional and nice and to imagine you snorting lines and having sex."

"well, i do snort lines and have sex," annie said. "just not in here. but i don't mind that you imagine that."

"women are really different than i assumed," sam said.

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

shameless unpopular opinions:

(i post these a lot but now here’s a ton of them together because as you can tell, i am very opinionated lol)

season 10/11 have a lot of gallavich in them, and they’re so fucking amazing in those seasons, but 10/11 are definitely not the best gallavich seasons because they’re a bit more boring (not very boring but kind of), the best gallavich seasons were 3, 4, 5, and 7.

fiona’s worst season was season 7, and that one scene at the table where she asked everyone to put her at the bottom of their emergency contact lists/told them that the squirrel fund was returning wasn’t “iconic” it sucked and was literally her neglecting carl and debbie. her best season’s were season’s 1 and 2 (i like her in every season those were just the best).

season 6 carl/white boy carl was awful. he was sometimes funny, yeah, but carl was the best in literally every other season but that, especially in 1, 3, 4, 7, and 11.

i get that he was closeted and had to hide his feelings away, but mickey treated ian like shit in seasons 1-3. but in 4-11 he (mostly) treated him amazingly.

lip is so much worse than debbie.

sheila shouldn’t have dated jody and she shouldn’t have taken hymie.

ian and debbie were the only one’s that monica loved, but really only ian.

frank did more damage to monica than she did to him.

kev and v weren’t ready for kids.

i wish that sierra and lip had ended up together, but tami was the only girlfriend of lip’s who didn’t let lip walk all over her. regardless, i think she was a rebound who he stayed with just because of her pregnancy.

they should’ve killed svetlana and jimmy-steve off instead of giving them stupid endings.

thinking realistically, yev is probably not mickey’s kid. but thinking with shameless logic, he probably is.

debbie isn’t the best character necessarily, but she is one of the top 5 (or maybe 3) best written shameless characters and people don’t awknolege her enough.

every. single. character. deserved better. even your least favorite characters, like sammi or karen or debbie.

chuckie deserves literally no hate. the thing people hate most about him is his mother, but that’s unfair because literally every shameless character i can think of off the top of my head has mommy issues.

sandy was in the wrong in the break up with her and debbie.

debbie should’ve gotten some help during/after her pregnancy. yes, actions have consequences, blah blah blah, but she was still just a kid.

lip fucking sucked in season 11 and i just wanted to give debbie a big hug the entire time. idc about what she did, fuck lip for trying to sell/pretty much destroying, a house that he had no rights to whatsoever.

liam was treated like absolute dog shit.

no way in hell are fiona and lip straight. they’re both bi in my mind.

#shameless #unpopular take #unpopular opinion #shameless unpopular opinions #ian gallagher #debbie gallagher #mickey milkovich #gallavich #shameless us #fiona gallagher #lip gallagher #frank gallagher #carl gallagher #liam gallagher shameless #kevin ball #veronica fisher #karen jackson #jody silverman #jimmy-steve lishman #svetlana yevgenivna #sheila jackson #sammi slott #sandy milkovich #hymie jackson #monica gallagher #franny gallagher #freddie gallagher #tami tamietti

[the-likesofus]

Crushes, Shivers and Bruised Knuckles

9-1-1 on Fox | 9k words | kickboxing fic | pining, getting together, eventual happy ending

eddie realizes he's in love with buck, freaks out about almost killing a dude, and goes to therapy

Based on this title prompt from the lovely Jenwyn @elvensorceress

Read on AO3

Sometimes Eddie wishes that Frank wasn't so good at his job. Sure he's helping, he's doing a great job of helping Eddie work through his traumas and emotions, helping him to "unrepress" himself as Buck keeps calling it. But sometimes, when he takes the lid off yet another mental box of memories and conflictions that Eddie thought he had tucked away for good, he thinks that Frank might be too helpful. 

“How did you get on with your homework this week?” Frank asks and Eddie barely looks up from where he is picking at the seam of his jeans with a nail. Truthfully Eddie’s homework had resulted in a minor mental breakdown, two panic attacks, and a lot of deep breaths behind the washing machine while he hid from his son. Not his proudest moment. 

Franks waits patiently for Eddie to reply. If Frank being too helpful is the worst part of therapy then this is the second worse. Frank established very quickly that he is not the kind of man that finds the need to fill silences and he is quite happy to spend their whole half-hour session waiting patiently while Eddie avoids talking about the proposed topic. 

“Homework was fine.” He says.

“Can you elaborate on that for me? I asked you to take stock of your meaningful relationships, outside your son. Were you able to do that?”

“Yes.” Eddie’s nail snags and pulls painfully, leaving a jagged edge that stings. He tucks the end of his finger between his lips and sucks as if he can draw the pain out that way, siphoning it straight from his bloodstream. He wipes the dampness on his thigh and takes a deep breath. Frank is watching him closely when Eddie looks up. His face is blank and impassive, as always, so Eddie can never tell what he is thinking. 

“Okay. And what did you learn from that?” Frank asks slowly like he’s talking to a child and sometimes that’s how Eddie feels. He walks out of these sessions with his soul stripped bare and his mind wiped clean as the day he was born, his entire world tilted on its axis as he tries to relearn every thought and emotion he’s ever had.

His breath feels like it’s caught in his throat, growing and bubbling with nervous energy, painful almost to the point of agony and he lets the words spill out of him because he doesn’t know what to do with them otherwise and if anyone is capable of helping Eddie to sort through his newest emotional turmoil it is Frank. “I think I’m in love with Buck.”

--------

The first time Eddie realized he was in love with Buck was at 2 pm on a Wednesday. Chris was at school and Buck was sitting on Eddie’s couch pairing and folding socks while he ranted and raved about his babysitting date with Jee-Yun the previous weekend. He started making plans for them to take her and Christopher to the park on Saturday. He didn’t even need to ask Eddie if they were free, if they had other plans, or even if they wanted to go. He just knew. 

Eddie excused himself to the bathroom and spent fifteen minutes sitting on the closed toilet seat taking deep breaths with his head between his knees as his heart constricted painfully in his chest. I love him, I love him, I love him repeating on loop in his head like a stuck record, his heart scratching at the ridges that Buck had carved away in his chest, where he had made a home for himself amongst Eddie’s darker afflictions. 

When he returned to the couch Buck had just smiled at him, all soft and patient, and made some joke about how long he had been gone, how he was worried Eddie had fallen into the toilet bowl. 

On Thursday, Buck shows up for their shift with coffee in hand. But not any regular coffee, no this was some ridiculous, limited-time Starbucks concoction that Eddie would never order for himself but paid a little too much attention to when it was advertised on TV the night before. It is delicious and Eddie’s heart thrums even as it tries to hammer its way out of his chest. The way their fingers brush when Buck hands him the coffee sends sparks flying up Eddie’s forearm and for the rest of their shift, he is acutely aware of every inch of contact Buck makes with him. Their knees pressed together in the engine, their shoulders brushing as they walk side by side. 

Over the course of 12 hours, the hope and terror that bubbles up and burns in Eddie’s gut becomes unbearable. He needs some kind of release, relief. The pressure presses outward at his hips and downward to the ends of his toes until every inch of his body feels like an overfilled air mattress threatening to split at the seams and spill love all over Buck’s shiny regulation boots. The urge to filet his heart on a platter and present it to Buck is almost as strong as the urge to punch something and so he goes with the second option because bruised and bloodied knuckles feel safer than a broken heart. 

The punching bag in the station gym crumples and swings under his fists, the rhythmic thwack thwack of skin against canvas takes the sharp edge off the tightness in his chest but does nothing to unclench his jaw and halt the grinding of his teeth. Eddie can feel that horrible urge that filled him right before he let Bosko convince him to join the equivalent of a fight club. He knows she never intended for him to take to it in quite the aggressive and unrelenting way he did and he swore never to go back there, he promised Buck that he would talk to him if he ever felt like that again. But he can’t talk to Buck about this. 

“What did that bag do to offend you?” A voice comes from beside him and it shakes Eddie out of his single-minded focus. He lets his arms swing freely at his sides and turns to find Chimney leaning against the weight rack. 

“How long have you been there?” Eddie finds himself asking and Chimney just chuckles and shakes his head.

“Long enough to know you need a water break.” He picks Eddie’s bottle up off the floor and hands it to him. “Seriously man, you have ridiculous stamina. Have you ever tried kickboxing?”

Eddie raises an eyebrow at him as he gulps a few mouthfuls from his bottle. The water has gone oddly warm from how long it’s been sitting on the ground next to him. 

“Okay, come on.” Chimney laughs again. “I meant at a proper gym, not an abandoned parking building. You know, regulated? Legal?” 

Eddie rolls his eyes but leans back against the support pole next to the punching bag. “No.”

“Maybe you should look into it. There’s one over on 6th in Koreatown. Kevin tried to drag me along a couple of times but I was never much good at it.”

“You really think you should be encouraging me to get back into fighting?”

“It’s not fighting, Eddie. It’s fitness. Some vices can be good for you, but knowing boundaries are too. If you don’t think it’s worth risking falling back into old habits then that’s fine. But, think about it, yeah?” Chim stands up and makes to head up to the loft when he turns back and calls over his shoulder, “Hey, I’ll even go with you if you want. But I did say I’m not very good.”

Continue on AO3

#buddie #buddie fic #meegs writes stuff #911 fox #911 fox fic #eddie x buck #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #christopher diaz #evan ‘buck’ buckley #howie chimney han #this fic got long cos frank has a lot to say #frank 911 #kickboxing fic

[m-d-n-ght-tr-n]

𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐁

𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫. 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞

My wife got picked up by her girlfriends around 9:00 and they were going out to the casino for a ladies night out. At about 12:30 I got a call from my wife asking me if I could come pick her up at 1am. She said that everyone else was ubering home and that she was hanging out at the bar with the bartender. She said that he had been flirting with her all night and that his shift ended at 1am. When I got there my wife was indeed sitting at the bar laughing and blushing. I grabbed the seat next to her and she introduced me to Frank. He was an older guy and really built. “Your wife has been keeping me company all night.” He informed me. “We don’t get a lot of young good looking girls like her around here” he said as he looked straight at her with a deviant smile. She blushed and looked down smiling. He walked away to finish counting up his cash and my wife informed me that she invited him over. I told her I would wait in the car. When they got out to the car a few minutes later Frank opened the back door and stepped to the side inviting my wife to sit in the back. “Oh, ok” she giggled. He climbed in after her and we were off. I intentionally turned left out of the parking lot and started to take the long way home. Frank wasted no time. He grabbed the back of my wife’s head and pulled her in to make out. I watched in the rear view as they passionately locked their mouths together. “You sexy little bitch” I heard Frank say. I looked back and he had my wife’s hair pulled in one hand and the other wrapped around her throat. She let out a loud moan and straddled herself on top of his lap. They began making out again but now Frank’s hands were around her waist and he was forcibly rocking her hips back and forth over his cock. After a few miles Frank grabbed my wife lifted her off of him and took off his pants. We just happened to catch a red light so I turned to see my wife stroking his cock. He was about seven inches but was really fat. I don’t think my wife’s hands were even able to close all the way around it. “Oh yeah, stroke my dick in front of your husband” Frank demanded. “Do you love my dick?” He asked her. He had her hair and throat in his hands again. “Yes I love your dick” she moaned. “Tell your husband that you love my big dick.” “I love his big dick.” She conceded. “Tell him you’re going to you suck my fat dick.” “I’m going to suck his fat dick.” In the mirror I could see him guide her head into his lap. I adjusted the mirror down and I watched as she worshipped his cock. She moaned as he manipulated her head up and down. Shortly after I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. I finally got to turn and watch for real and Frank was completely dominating my wife. And by the sounds of her moans she was really enjoying it. “Does she suck your cock like this?” He asked me. “No.” I admitted. He pulled her head off of his cock, tilted it to the side and made her run her tongue up and down the length of him. “Is your dick as big as mine?” He asked me. “No” I admitted. “Maybe that’s why she doesn’t suck you like this.” My wife and I have never been into the humiliation thing but he was in complete control of the situation and my wife was loving it. “If you tell our husband that you like my dick more than his I’ll let you fuck it.” He said as he winked at me. He turned her head torwards me. “I like his dick more than yours.” She confessed. “Good girl, take off your pants.” He told her. She promptly followed his order. He pulled her back on top of him and she started sliding her pussy over his cock. “Beg me for it.” He demanded. “Can you please fuck me?” “No, beg for my dick.” “Can I please have your dick?” She pleaded. “Tell your husband to beg me to give you my dick.”

#sharing wife #vixen wife #wife fantasy #stagandvixen #cuckwife #cuck #cuckcold #cucklife #cuckhubby #hotwives #small dick energy

[weirdcat1213]

Conventional weapons and queer acceptance

I'm going through it rn so here's a really long post on a queer interpretation of Conventional Weapons.

Notes:

-Yes, I will talk about every song. No song is safe from me.

-No, I don't think it is the only/correct interpretation but its one that I've been thinking about for ages so leave me alone :D

-I know these songs were recorded separately and they don't have a linear story (like revenge or tbp) but for the sake of angst, I will treat the whole album as a queer journey where the speaker is the main character, also I will use they/them for them because the album itself talks a lot about gender.

-"Some of these are more about the system and protests rather than queerness" guess what? those go hand in hand even though it's 2023, life sucks.

-I will use "queer" instead of LGBTQ+. That debate does not belong here but I'm just giving a heads up.

TW: homophobia, transphobia, conversion therapy, unhealthy coping mechanisms (?), aids crisis, society just being shitty in general

Let's start :3

Album context: CW is not a concept album (sadly). The band had ideas for these songs since their TBP tour and didn't think it was fit for Danger Days so they only released them because Frank thought they were cool (bless his soul he was so right). Therefore, these songs' messages/perspectives/feelings may vary.

Boy Division:

*The first two songs have a handgun on the cover. This weapon is a small and distant weapon, portraying the distance the speaker wants to have with queerness since they're still in the closet*

From a queer perspective, this song is about the speaker's closeted life as a queer person. The song asks people close to him how would they react if they were to find out about they are queer. The speaker already knows the answer, people would be disgusted and reject them entirely, making the speaker mad. It can be assumed the speaker is at their last straw here and leave their home behind to live their truth.

"If all my enemies

Threw a party, would you light the candles?

Would you drink the wine while watchin' television?

Watch the animals and all the tragedies

And sell your arteries to buy my casket gown"

Enemies in this context are homophobic/transphobic people. If the speaker admitted to being queer, would their loved ones pretend the speaker is "dead"? Would they side with the homophobic/transphobic people?

"Well, it better be black and it better be tight

And it better be just my size

I'm stalkin' these metro malls and airport halls

And all these schoolgirls"

This may be a reference to the kind of stereotypes the speaker's loved ones believe about queer people. About how they stalk people in public and "try to convert minors"

"I'm not askin', you're not tellin'

He's not dead, he only looks that way"

The speaker not asking anymore if the people they know support queer people/if they would support them. The part about "him" not being dead could be how their relatives see the situation from the outside. The speaker is apathetic because of their situation but no one knows.

"Out nowhere, take me out there

Far away and save me from my

Self-destruction, hopeless for you

Sing a song for California"

They're in the middle of nowhere, and they wish to be in a more accepted place, putting California as an example (is this true? idk I don't live there)

"I bought my enemies

Rope to hang me and the knives to gang me

You can watch them stab me on your television

Stomp the halls, because the bathroom walls

Would have a lot to say

About the lines you're puttin' down"

This is the speaker's way to say he is one of the queers their loved ones hate so much. The speaker "bought" the rope by admitting their queerness and they might as well be the ones on the TV getting ganged up on because of their identity. When they mention the bathroom it could be a reference to how there are worst things happening that transphobic gatekeeping bathrooms, such as people doing drugs.

"Well, it better be white and better be cut

And better be just my size

Until my capillaries burst of boredom

I'll be waitin"

Instead of funeral attire, now they want to use wedding attire because they feel alive by coming out, hence the white. If we assume they were rejected by their loved ones, the speaker will wait for them to come around until they get bored. The speaker's capillaries are a symbol of their patience.

"I'm not laughin', you're not jokin'

I'm not dead, I only dress that way"

The speaker dresses as if they're dead not only because they could be at any time due to harassment but also because they feel dead being in a place they can't be themselves. It could also be a reference to gender expression and the speaker experimenting for the first time.

"'Cause we got the bomb, we got the bomb, let's go!

We got the bomb, we got the bomb, let's go!"

This could mean queer people (we) are fighting back society (the bomb) and the speaker feels inspired.

"Say a prayer for California"

A prayer for California so it can stay as a place the speaker can run to and be free.

Tomorrows Money:

This one is about the speaker's views about capitalism and taking a stand as an activist against corporations and rainbow capitalism. The speaker knows queer people aren't welcome and yet they're still used for profit, however, we could say the song's pov is from the speaker and the corporations. The song also makes an argument about how capitalism actively makes queer people's lives even more difficult.

"You fell in love with a vampire

Do you wanna get it for free

In this song, vampires are associated with queer people and their experiences (just like many movies about vampires and other monsters have done in history). Getting one for free would be to get to live the experience of a queer person instead of seeing it externally (in a movie, show, book, etc)

"Then say hello to the brush fire, baby

You gotta take it from me, I’m gonna take it from you

Say hello to the good times

And burning up in the sun"

According to corporations, the speaker can live out as a queer person, but they will have to face conflict against capitalism, a model that is mostly known for taking things away from people.

They’re sitting back on an empire

While the world lays back, puts a kid behind that gun

This is the speaker's view about capitalism and the world. Corporations and their owners are living comfortably while they leave the most vulnerable minorities to deal with the dirty work.

"If we crash this time

They got machines to keep us alive

When the mixtape plays

Choke down the words with no meaning"

This refers to how queer people can't seem to escape capitalism. If they get hurt while protesting or get sick, they will still need to get (most of the time in most places at least) private health insurance to get good medical attention. When talking about the mixtape, it can also be referring to the multiple products corporations do for queer people (see the "pride merch" on june). But when you analyze the final products, it is clear that it lacks meaning and it was only made for profit.

"I stopped bleeding three years ago

While you keep screaming for revolution

Me and my surgeons and my street-walking friends

We got no heroes, 'cause our heroes are dead"

Here the speaker is personally calling out corporations for their meaningless support. While they and other people have been protesting and taking care of themselves within their community, corporations keep shouting out their outdated "love is love" slogan and keep repeating their empty promises about equality. The speaker, the "surgeons" (people who focus and live to take care of the queer community as volunteers/nonprofit organizations), and more activists keep protesting for a better future but also for the people who came before them and died for the cause (for example multiple people during the aids crisis)

"Say hello to the program

We’re gonna give it for free

Hook up the veins to the antibodies

Got it with the disease, we’re gonna give it to you"

This verse could be considered queer representation in media and how it helps queer people even if it ends up being queerbating. Corporations give queer people the content and even if there are no official queer people in it, subtext and further readings into the media help people to see themselves in the story and/or characters, they work as antibodies against society.

"Say goodbye to the good times

You’re loaded up with the fame

You’re dressing up like a virus

But the words get lost when we all look the same"

The most popular and famous logo (and stand) corporations take in pride month is the rainbow. They don't specify anything and just keep it open to appeal to most people as possible. Although queer people have taken the rainbow as a general symbol for everyone when corporations use it is because there is no interest in other people who aren't the "classic" cisgender white gay male, there's no meaning on their rainbow. All the rainbow logos in June end up looking like a virus taking over for a month rather than support.

"You fell in love with a vampire, torch up for the empire

Say hello to the brush fire, the microphone's got a tap wire

You fell in love with a vampire, torch up for the empire

Say hello to the brush fire, the microphone's got a tap wire!"

In this verse, the speaker is possibly talking to a multitude. They make a reference to the vampire analogy but also says that if they want to live free queer people need to get rid of the corporations. No matter how many problems they face they have to be careful since they're still under capitalism and being watched.

"Because rebellion's not a T-shirt you sell

You keep your money, and I’ll see you in hell"

Many queer people have that reaction when companies don't support queer people's rights but sell queer products on pride month. The speaker rejects rainbow capitalism and will see the company in hell since, according to religious fanatics, that's where queer people are going.

*I find this topic (capitalism vs the queers) really interesting but I honestly don't know much about it but this is a cool video I recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5xQVFYWvd3o&t=1449s)

Ambulance:

*The second disc has a picture of a small knife, a weapon of short range that requires the user to get really closer to the opponent. This represents the speaker's change from their involvement with the queer community; they went from keeping their distance to putting themselves out there as an activist*

Ambulance, under a queer context, is about the queer community and the love the speaker has for them since they have helped after they cut ties with their family in "Boy Division."

You don’t know a thing about this life, and we are up for

Everything it takes to prove we’re not the same as them

The speaker could be talking to someone new when it comes to activism. They want to motivate the new recruit but also be honest about what is like to constantly be on the line. The queer community will never be like the people who can easily thrive in a heteronormative society because the queer community looks out for every minority (let's ignore dumb organizations like lgb for this, they suck)

"And we will wear our masks again, out after dark

'Cause we are up for everything it takes

and we are not the same

'Cause we are not afraid

And we are not ashamed"

This part is about how they protect themselves while defending themselves and how they are not ashamed of fighting for what's right publicly.

"And if you save my life, I’ll be the one who drives

You home tonight

And if I ever let you down, I’ll be the one who drives

You home tonight"

One of the things that the speaker appreciates most about the queer community is how they take care of each other. If one of them gets hurt, they will help each other. No matter what happens everyone looks out for everyone.

"Remember once, you walked this kind of life quietly, I’ll sleep

Behind the wheel, and passing every face you see the first time

Singing every piece as you walk by proving that with

All of my mistakes, that we are not the same"

The speaker is comparing themselves to other people in their group who have been in their position but also have had a completely different experience. Other people may have cope in healthier ways than the speaker, which makes them feel kind of guilty.

"'Cause we are not the same

And we are all to blame"

When it comes to protesting or activism is it always is the activists' fault if something bad happens. According to conservatives if anything goes south (police brutality, hate crimes, etc) is the queer people's fault for not being closeted, for "indoctrinating people".

"'Cause you don’t know a thing about me

, you don’t know a thing"

This is from the speaker to the people who have helped them in their life. They don't know who they were before but the community still took them in as family.

Gun:

Honestly, there's not much that this brilliant thread hasn't already said. La (the twitter user) suggests that "the song's main theme is obviously a young person entering the military, which is known for having a strict structure and very precise rules to follow and roles to fill. in this case, I believe the military could represent the cis, heteronormative society"

See the rest of the thread here :D

https://twitter.com/zhongmcr/status/1560384799101124614?t=emxookpnkny0c5iYV4fmdw&s=19

Please read it and send @/zhongmcr some love for it.

The World is Ugly:

*The machine guns reflect more intensity as an attack. The speaker is going deeper in being vocal about the queer community on this disc.*

The world is ugly is, of course, a romantic song. When analyzing it through queer lenses, however, it can be about the speaker getting strong feelings for someone but still being afraid of confessing their feelings, even if the other person is also queer, because are traumatized by past experiences while in the closet.

"These are the eyes and the lies of the taken These are their hearts But their hearts don't beat like ours They burn 'cause they are all afraid"

The speaker usually gets that feeling of "them against the world", but it is different with the person they are interested in. The speaker feels they have a connection and they are together while being against the world.

"For every one of us There's an army of them But you'll never fight alone 'Cause I wanted you to know"

Conservative people are "afraid" of queer people and it has made their lives difficult but when they're together it doesn't matter.

"That the world is ugly But you’re beautiful to me Well are you thinking of me now?"

The heteronormative society is a pain for the speaker and the love interest but the speaker wants to make clear that their love interest is beautiful no matter what society says.

"These are the nights And the lights that we fade in These are the words But the words aren't coming out

They burn 'cause they are hard to say"

This part is more personal for the speaker. They reminisce on all the nights they have spent with their love interest and how on those they have tried to tell how they feel, but the speaker cannot say it out loud.

"For every failing sun, there's a morning after Though, I'm empty when you go I just wanted you to know"

The speaker comforts themselves with the fact that they can try the next day, but at the same time, they keep living with the pain of their love interest not knowing.

"That the world is ugly But you're beautiful to me Are you thinking of me Like I'm thinking of you?"

The speaker wonders if their love interest thinks about them the same way or if they have another kind of relationship.

"I would say I'm sorry, though Though, I really need to go I just wanted you to know

I wanted you to know I wanted you to know I'm thinking of you Every night, every day"

In this verse, the speaker implies they usually focus on activism and things that will help their community rather than their own feelings. They have to go and keep helping others but still wants to let their feelings come across.

"These are the lies And the lives of the taken These are their hearts But their hearts don't beat like ours They burn 'cause they are all afraid But mine beats twice as hard"

Because the speaker is really focused on others but also wants to be with their love interest, they are passionate about 2 things.

"Stop your crying, helpless feeling Dry your eyes and start believing There's one thing They’ll never take from you"

The speaker goes back to their "mentor mode" and inspires their love interest to believe in a better future. However, they also reference how the world can never take their love interest's beauty away.

"One day, like this We'll never be the same Never, forever Like ghosts in the snow Like ghosts in the sun"

This is the speaker dreaming of what their life could be only with their love interest. They would just be people exploring the world.

The Light Behind Your Eyes:

This song is about a guide saying goodbye to people or a person whom they have helped in the past. Under a queer interpretation, it could be from the point of view of an elder queer passing away who was really important to the speaker.

"So long to all my friends Every one of them met tragic ends With every passing day I'd be lying if I didn't say That I miss them all tonight"

The elder queer is possibly passing away and is thinking about the friends they got to make within the community. By saying their friends met tragic ends it could refer to the aids crisis or hate crimes.

"And if they only knew what I would say If I could be with you tonight I would sing you to sleep Never let them take the light behind your eyes"

Just like the elder queer, their friends used to help people in the community, and they would approve the last reassuring words of the elder. The elder wishes they would be alive and well to see a better future but for now, they can only hope people stop harming queer people.

"As we fade in the dark Just remember you will always burn as bright"

The older queer people may have passed away but they want the younger generations to have a good life.

"Be strong and hold my hand Time, it comes for us, you'll understand We'll say goodbye today And I'm sorry how it ends this way If you promise not to cry Then I'll tell you just what I would say"

This shows the elder was really appreciated in the community since they have people with them in their final moments. They wish they would not be leaving that way (probable aids) but they still think younger generations need to learn about the problem and be strong enough to face it.

"I'll fail and lose this fight"

The elder already knows their own fate.

"Sometimes we must grow stronger And you can't be stronger when I'm gone When I'm here, no longer You must be stronger and"

The elder knows it will be hard for future generations who still feel like they need guidance to survive, but they hope the people they leave behind get stronger.

"I failed and lost this fight"

The elder queer couldn't avoid their future, as if from the beginning, it was meant to happen.

When the outro keeps repeating it could reflect how those are actually the last words (or at least sentiment) of the elder, and it will stay present in the community for a long time.

Kiss the Ring:

*This disc has two axes on the cover. Additionally, from here on out there are 2 weapons on the covers, which means the speaker is not alone anymore, but with someone who shares their "them against the world" feeling.*

Kiss the Ring is another song about the speaker's feelings against the system. However, this one and the next song in the disc have more rage on them. The speaker starts to lash out at authority and politicians who keep failing queer people.

"We kill the girls to get paid And put the whole damn room on the edge of the blade You'll get far, stay clean"

The speaker is mocking society's standards for people. They set dangerous beauty stereotypes only to get women to buy their products, reject measures that could help queer people (hormone treatment, counseling, etc) even if they know people could die because of the lack of it, and attribute failure to substances such as alcohol and drugs. Some queer people will turn to those substances because of the lack of support because society keeps making it hard to live, but big institutions don't care.

"And if the world stops believing, I'll keep believing

That the world could make a change (All I know is I won't stop believing) And put the suicide dolls as the last ones to mate (All I know is I won't stop believing)"

Although the speaker still has faith in a better future, they are angry about society putting queer people in a complicated position. Queer people create their own communities because they are pushed by the people who refuse to let them live. They insult and make everything more complicated up to the point of giving queer people trauma and mental health issues. The queer people affected by this are the only ones left to help themselves and others. Queer people are left at the back where they find each other.

"Come hard, stay clean (You're the next if you don't stop your creeping) And singing songs for the damned now (You're the next if you)"

The line on the back "You're the next if you don't stop your creeping" could be the authority's opinion about queer people: you will get in trouble if you are out/"explicit". Additionally, the songs for the damned could be a metaphor for people who think praying/conversion therapy will work as a "cure" for queerness.

"Hail! Hail! 'Cause the king is gone And if you don't stop believing, we'll keep believing"

This part could mean how conservatives celebrate when something bad happens to a politician or anyone famous who is in favor of queer rights. They tend to believe that there is a leader (like the people who believe there is an ANTIFA leader), but queer people will keep protesting and believing in a better life for everyone.

"You put the record on And live the life that you're making, shots that you're taking"

"So grab the cash and run And let the suits watch each other kill one another"

This is the speaker starts to get reckless. For them, it has become a matter of taking back at society. They want to live their life the best as they can, so they let themselves enjoy music, drink, and commit crimes since they will end up in trouble anyway for being queer. They steal money because they need it but also to get a sense of power over their life. The "suits" in this case would be politicians, the ones who say they want to help queer people against the ones who want them dead. Even if someone is fighting the good fight the speaker doesn't care for them anymore.

It doesn't matter if the words don't mean a thing You gotta kiss that ring"

The words could be the empty promises some politicians do to queer people. Many of them beg them to vote to protect their rights only to back off when it really matters. Kissing the ring means the absurdity of respecting people, authority figures, and institutions (the government) who don't want to be held accountable for queer people's rights.

"Move like the wolves, keep the faith There ain't a dry eye left in the back of the place Is it hard to stay clean?"

The speaker warns their community about the government since politicians don't have empathy for them (dry eyes)

"And if you all keep believing, I'll keep believing That the world drives the saints (All I know is I won't stop believing) And put the shotgun shells in the hills it makes (All I know is I won't stop believing)"

In this verse, the speaker mocks how authority loves to praise "pacific protests" but will still kill them. Most of the time when queer people organize a pacific gathering, they are met with violent repression.

"So come hard, stay clean (You're the next if you don't stop your creeping) Because they don't give a damn, now (You're the next if you)"

The speaker believes after so many failures that no politician cares for queer people.

"You got your leather on And live the life that you're making, shots that you're taking"

This could be referring to what kind of clothing queer people "tend" to wear. The idea is to just wear whatever you want and live your life.

"Hail, hail 'cause the king is gone Hail, hail 'cause the king is gone Hail, hail 'cause the king is gone Hail, hail 'cause the king is, the king is gone

Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail! Hail!"

Queer people celebrate a supposed leader that never existed because it is not about leaders, but the community.

"Fist up, head down Hail, hail to the king"

In this verse since the king is not "gone" it could mean the community is celebrating itself. They will keep fighting even if there's the risk of something bad happening, which is why they put their head down as a sign of being prepared for the worst.

Make Room:

Make Room is mainly the speaker setting the people who do not accept queer people or pretend to be allies as zombies. Queer people are most of the time used for gossip, instead of being treated as real people. The people who only care about gossip and getting to know who came out just to be disrespectful about it are people who do not have reasoning skills, making them zombies.

"Make room! Make room! Down on the coffin,​ there's a coffin or two Dead chic, so cool The cannibals are starving when they're looking at you"

This verse is about how dead queer people are seen just as numbers. The cisgender straight people's main concern most of the time is the funeral (what will people say, how to present the dead queer person etc), reflected on the line about the coffins. The dead girl represents dead queer people who attracted attention, making the zombies (society) wild to get the news and learn about everything that went wrong. They just want the gossip.

"Tank tops, jet stream Karate lessons with a killing machine White lines, nose bleeds I know you get excited when the cameras go Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta"

The speaker refers here to the kind of people who talk and treat queer people as means for gossip. They can be relaxed in their summer clothes with their private jets and do questionable things (drugs as mentioned with "white lines"), people with privilege. They get excited when a famous person reveals themselves to be queer and are able to get every single detail, however, they don't know (or don't care) that the spotlight can be stressful and harmful for famous queer people who come out. This is reflected by the "ratatata" the cameras make.

"Me and you, and all of this living dead Burning up in the sun, where the bodies add Sitting here with you, in misery Anybody gonna come and rescue me? La la la"

Here the speaker is talking with another queer person about how stressful people can be. They have to endure their questions and actions but even if they are miserable, they are together. The speaker's petition for someone to rescue them is mocking how some people "became" queer because the community pressured them into being queer.

"Make room! Make room! One day, you're gonna have explaining to do

Drag star, so cool There's only room for one man and the one is you, you, you"

This verse is just multiple wrong arguments that people make about queer people. A popular argument that homophobic/transphobic people use against queer people is how are they "going to explain" their identity or sexuality to others such as kids, elders, etc. Those kinds of people also have problems with drag artists. They may say they are letting drag artists live their lives, but they pressure them and their gender expression, reminding drag artists they are men and have to act like it. This argument is not only wrong because not all drag queens identify as men, but also does not consider drag kings.

"Got a taste for the cash and androgyny Anybody wanna come and rescue me?"

Androgyny is considered the combination of man and woman. This combination seems fashionable for multiple people and companies have decided to adopt it for profit. If it looks pretty it will sell. Multiple companies will present an androgynous person/model and show it off as their "queer representation".

"Well alright, well alright She's alright Everybody in the room is alright"

This could be a reference to the dead girl first mentioned in the song. Most people just want to pretend nothing bad is happening and that queer people are okay if comparing these times to years ago.

"Everybody wants to change the world Everybody wants to change the world But no one, no one wants to die!"

"We are never gonna change the world We are never gonna change the world 'Cause we are never gonna die!"

I see this as what the speaker thinks about activism after being vocal about queer issues during the whole album. They know protesting and being an activist is important for the queer community, and if they want society to change there will be sacrifices that no one wants to do. However, they also want to be happy and have a life of their own with the person they like. Maybe the change will be delayed and they will keep fighting for it, but not to the point of putting their happiness on the line anymore.

Surrender the Night:

*These last two songs have grenades on the cover because these ones are the tipping point for the speaker. They are done hiding their emotions and will explode at any second. It's a more aggressive weapon than the rest. The songs still talk about how society sucks for queer people, but the main focus for the speaker is the person they like and showing their feelings.*

Surrender the Night is a continuation (kind of) of The World is Ugly. If on The World is Ugly the speaker was afraid of confessing their feelings, on Surrender the Night they decide to be selfish and take control of the situation, take control of what makes them happy for once.

Everyone's a passenger, tonight Just another accidental on the freeway of this life

This night is important for the speaker, anything else doesn't matter.

We'll drive on and on and on and on We'll drive on and on And I'll remember this night when you're gone

The speaker and the love interest will leave everything behind, and the speaker wants their love interest to remember that night forever.

You surrender your heart I surrender every dream

Every weapon you've got Every secret that I keep

This is a deal the speaker proposes as a way to confess their feelings. If their love interest accepts being with them, nothing else will matter to the speaker. They will protect the love interest and will be completely honest with them.

You can fight this, all you want But tonight belongs to...

The love interest can fairly reject the speaker, but just for that one night, they will have to listen to what the speaker has to say.

Just another surgery, tonight Well, if you amputate the loneliness Anesthesia dims the lights

This is the speaker's opinion about their love interest. They are a complicated person who ignores their own problems by distracting themselves as if they wanted to disassociate from life and the pain. The speaker tells them they can do that, they can ignore their problems but by rejecting their emotions, they will also miss the good moments.

So dream on and on and on and on So dream on and on And I'll remember your eyes when you're gone

In this verse, the speaker encourages their love interest to follow their dreams instead of disassociating from life, and even if they don't end up together the speaker will remember them.

And I'll watch you in your sleep 'Cause tonight belongs to me You can fight this, all you want But tonight belongs to

The speaker will watch the other person sleep as a way to protect them and make sure they don't run away.

Sparks against the railing Distant phantoms wailing Through the windshield, sailing With these airbags failing

Here, the speaker is honest about how their lives will be if they're together. There will be chaos, people will talk, and they won't be able to control some situations.

But tonight belongs to me But tonight belongs to me But tonight belongs to me

The speaker reassures this to their love interest, expecting an answer.

Burn Bright:

And finally, we get to talk about my baby, the creme of the gays. This song in general is about finally accepting who you are, living as you want, and loving whoever you want; even if you know people are against it. If following the story from the previous song, this song is where they get together with their love interest and start a relationship. The speaker knows it won't be easy but they don't care.

So give me all you've got

I can take it

We walked alone in your city lights

Did you make it?

We lit the fire and it's burning bright

Did you take it?

Kissed all the boys in your city lights

Did you make it?

Left all the stars in your city nights

Can you fake it?

I lost my way in your city lights

Glad you made it

We stole the fire

And it's burning bright

Fire/stars/light is represented as strength the queer person has found in their identity, and it burns so brightly at the end of the album that they won't hide it anymore. Now that they have met another queer person and they are both out, the speaker trusts that it is possible to live as who you truly are, and they are not willing to hide anymore.

Not ashamed of what I am

I took the pills

For these empty nights

'Cause it makes me who I am

The speaker is not ashamed anymore of being queer but they still remember how it felt. How they had to cope with unhealthy copy because of the suffering of being against the world.

"They always told me that

"You never get to heaven"

With a love like yours

Well if you're lost little boy

The cameras pull you right back down, yeah"

Social/ expectations opinions are a heavy theme in the album, and it continues in the last song. It is not uncommon that society to treat queer people as little kids who don't know what they want or at least "should" want. Society will tell queer people that the way they want to love and/or exist is wrong. If a person dares to do something not straight or gender not conforming, society is there, like cameras, to judge that vulnerable moment and show it as a mistake. The speaker reflects on religion telling others "you won't get to heaven based on the things that you do" because people still use religion to discriminate against queer people.

"It's like a chemical burn

I'm peeling off your skin, yeah

And when you see your face

Well you'll never be the same again, yeah"

Queer people have to hear bad news, insults, misinformation, etc. every day. It takes a great toll mentally that can make people and that can be manifested physically, to the point that it hurts and/or to the point that people start noticing. Sadly, it's a kind of pain queer people have to live with for now until who knows when.

"Cause if you just stop breathing

I'll stop, stop my heart

I'll stop breathing too

[...]

Not ashamed of what I am

I'd trade the world for your city nights

'Cause it makes me who I am"

Queer people rely on each other, and the speaker relies on their significant other. The speaker would give up everything for the experiences they will get to share together.

"And though I missed the chance for this

I confess that I can't wait

Until it's gone

No I mean this every single day

Don't go if you got more to say

'Cause the world don't need

Another hopeless cause"

The speaker makes a small confession here. They are tired of society, of hiding, of fighting. They want the whole world to disappear just so they can be happy. They don't want to be part of "the fight" to make things better but they don't have any other choice. For them, the world cannot afford people doing nothing.

"Though it makes me who I am

'Cause it makes me who I am

And you made me who I am

And you made me who I am

Be afraid of what I am"

Although the speaker is done with people who don't do anything to fight against a society that doesn't accept them, they recognize that's who they were for so long. But now their significant other gives them the strength to leave all doubts and fear behind. The speaker is warning the world to be afraid of them because they are done being afraid of the world.

"We walked around in your city lights

'Cause it makes me who I am

I burned it all but im doing fine

'Cause I'll never fade away

If I steal the fire from your city nights

'Cause it makes me who I am

Who I am"

The speaker borrows strength from their significant other to go against the world, and in doing so they burn (jeje) relationships with other people, but they are okay with it. They will survive now that they are strong enough to stand up for themselves.

Conventional weapons sets someone in multiple stages of queer life and use weapons to portray life as a war with oneself, expectations, and society.

FIN

tldr: cw is gay af argue with the wall

#mcr #my chemical romance #conventional weapons #burn bright #surrender the night #kiss the ring #make room #the world is ugly #the light behind your eyes #boy division #tomorrows money #ambulance #gun #queer #lgbtqia

[final-girl96]

Firefly Chapter Twenty-Five

Mission Continues 2023

"So, is Bill and Frank nice?" Ellie asked. We've been walking for hours non-stop. "Frank is," Joel and I said simultaneously. Joel was walking ahead of us a little ways. We haven't talked much since we left the safe house. "What about Bill?" Ellie asked me. "Let's just say he and Joel have a lot in common." He looked at me with a questioning look waiting for me to explain. "What does that mean?"

"It means they're both hard asses." Joel turned his head to look at me and I raised an eyebrow. "And that means?" I looked at Ellie and sighed. "Bill is very…how do I put this. He doesn't like new people. Well, he doesn't like people period. It's hard to convince him or anything and hard to get him to agree with anything. He's very protective of the people he cares about though. That mainly being Frank. He'll do anything for Frank."

She hummed and jogged ahead to walk beside Joel and started asking him all kinds of questions. I walked a little faster so I wouldn't fall behind. "How’d you get that scar on your head?," Ellie asked, pointing at the scar of the side of Joel's head. He didn't say anything but I knew he was thinking about what had happened. "What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs or something?"

"I didn’t fall down any stairs," he told her. "Okay, so what then?" She asked. He sighed, "Someone shot at me and missed." Joel looked over at me and I looked away. "See, that’s cool. You shoot back?" It wouldn't be cool if she knew the truth of who it was. "Yeah," he mumbled. "You get him?" She asked. "No, I missed, too. It happens more often than you think."

"‘Cause you suck at shooting or, like, in general?" She asked. This kid really asked a lot of fucking questions. "In general," he mumbled. It was silent for all of five seconds before she started talking again. "You know, seeing as it’s just the three of us, I was thinking I should pro…" Joel and I cut her off at the same time. "No." She huffed and rolled her eyes.

We walked for a little while longer, Ellie continued to talk about whatever popped into her head. Then we came to a stop at one of the places where we had stashed some supplies. "Cumberland Farms," Ellie read the sign. "Hang back a minute. I gotta grab some stuff we stashed," Joel said. "Stashed? Why do you have stuff stashed here?" Ellie asked.

He sighed heavily, "You ask a lot of goddamn questions," he grumbled. She smiled, "Yes, I do. So, are you gonna answer me or what?" She asked. Joel walked into the old long abandoned store ignoring Ellie. "We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear," I told her. "Which I currently am ’cause…" Joel started to say until he was cut off my Ellie.

"No way! You ever play this one?" Ellie asked, going up to a Mortal Kombat game. "I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There’s this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!" She said excitedly.

I was watching with a small smile on my face. The fact she still acts like a kid should amazes me. Most kids in this kind of world are forced to grow up fast. "Ah. Oh, man. You forgot where you put your stuff," she said. I turned around to see Joel trying to think where he stashed the stuff.

"No. I’m just zeroing in on it. It’s been a couple of years," he said. I rolled my eyes. "Seriously? It's over there," I said, pointing to where it was. Joel shook his head, "no. I moved it. Had a few people follow me and Tess so I moved it."

"Okay, well, I’m gonna take a look around, see if there’s anything good," Ellie said. "Be careful please," I told her. "Trust me, it’s all been picked over already," Joel told her. He was still trying to remember where he had moved the stash to. "Maybe, maybe not. Is there anything bad in here?" Ellie asked. "Just you," Joel said. I huffed out a laugh and Ellie looked at me as she walked towards the back of the store. "Ah. Getting funnier."

I watched as Joel walked around and tested the floorboards to figure out where the stash was. "Seriously? Is this going to take long? Because Ellie gets bored easily and will eventually find trouble," I said. Joel turned and looked at me, "then why don't you go keep an eye on her." I raised my brows at his tone of voice. "Fuck."

"You okay back there?" I asked, walking towards the back. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine!" Ellie called. I turned and looked at Joel, "is there something you'd like to get off your chest?" I asked. He knelt down and started going through the supplies hidden under the floorboards. "You ever going to tell me what the fuck I did? Because when I think back and think about it…I can't come up with a damn thing."

"You really want to do this right now? You can't wait until we get to Bill's?" He sighed, "do whatever you want, firefly." My heart jumped at the nickname. It only ever did when he called me that. I noticed it was really quiet and realized Ellie hadn't said anything for a few minutes. "Ellie?" I called but no answer. "Ellie!" Joel stood up just as I started walking towards the door she went through.

"Picked over, my ass!" She walked out holding something but stopped when she saw Joel bending back down. "What're you doing?" She asked. "There’s not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless," he told Ellie, putting the rifle under the floor. "Well, if you’re just gonna leave it there…" she started and again Joel and I both said, "No." Simultaneously.

We continued on our way, Ellie talking about whatever she could which included asking me and Joel personal questions. "So, you two were neighbors?" She asked. I sighed, "yes, Ellie, we were neighbors." She nodded her head and looked ahead of us at Joel. "Were you two a thing before all this?" She asked. "No. I was nineteen and he was thirty-six," I said. "But you got together after Cordyceps. How long after?"

There was no shutting this kid up. She would just keep asking if I didn't give her an answer. "I don't know. Maybe, like, eight months. I don't think any of this is your business. Stop asking questions," I rolled her. "So you were still nineteen and he was still thirty-six. That's a big age-gap. Didn't you worry about what people thought?" She asked.

"When we first got to Boston, yes, but then I stopped fucking caring what people thought. It was none of their damn business." She hummed and was quiet for a few minutes. "Do you still love him?" She asked quietly enough that I could only hear her. I looked up at Joel for a few seconds before answering. It wasn't a hard answer to give. There was no questioning if I did or not. "Of course, I do," I whispered.

She was about to ask another question until she saw a plane crash. "Holy shit. You fly in one of those?" She asked. "A few times, sure," Joel said. Her head turned to me and I nodded. "So lucky." I scoffed, "Didn’t feel like it at the time. Get shoved into a middle seat, pay 12 bucks for a sandwich," I said. "Dude, you got to go up in the sky!"

"Yeah, well, so did they," Joel said. Ellie at him with raised eyebrows "Grim," she said. We continued walking and she asked more questions. "So, everything came crashing down in one day?" She asked. I hummed, "Pretty much." She looked confused as she asked.

"How? I mean… no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody’s fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. And then, all at once? How did it even start? If you have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey," she said, a little excited. "It wasn’t a monkey. I thought you went to school," Joel said.

"FEDRA school. They don’t teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic," she told him. "No one knows for sure, but, best guess… Cordyceps mutated. And some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar," I told her. "There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal… pancake mix."

My mind went back to the morning before shit hit the fan. About how Sarah had asked Joel to pick up pancake mix the day before. God only knows what would have happened if he would have remembered. Then I think about the pizza we had. Was it not in that supply of flour they used to make the dough? Of course the pizza was also still sitting in the fridge not even half eaten. Maybe that's why we weren't infected. We didn't eat enough of it to affect us.

"You eat enough of it, it’ll get you infected. So the tainted food all hits the store shelves around the same time, Thursday. People bought it, ate some Thursday night or Friday morning. Day goes on… they started to get sick. Afternoon, evening, they got worse. Then they started bitin’. Friday night, September 26, 2003. And by Monday, everything was gone," Joel said. He looked at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking about.

"It makes more sense than monkeys. Thanks," Ellie said. Joel nodded at her, "Sure." We went in silence for a little while until Joel and I came to a stop. He looked at me and I nodded. "What?" Ellie asked, looking ahead and then back at us. "We’ll cut across the woods here," Joel said. She looked at him confused, "Isn’t the road easier?"

"Yeah, it’s just… There’s just stuff up there you shouldn’t see," I told her. "Well, now I have to see," she said and began walking forward. "I don’t want you to. Seriously. Ellie!" I called after her. I groaned and followed her. "Can it hurt me?" She asked. "No," Joel said. "You’re too honest, man. Should’ve said axe murderer." She ran ahead of us. Joel and I let out a heavy sigh and followed.

"Uh… whatever it was… think it’s gone," Ellie said. We came to a stop and looked over the hill where there were burnt bodies. Ellie came up beside me and looked down, "oh," she whispered. "About a week after Outbreak Day, soldiers… went through the countryside, evacuated the small towns. Told you you were goin’ to a QZ, and you were… if there was room. If there wasn’t…" Joel said, cutting himself off.

"These people weren’t sick?" Ellie asked, looking over me. I shook my head, shrugging my shoulders, "No, probably not," I told her. "Why kill them? Why not just leave ’em be?" She asked. "Dead people can’t be infected," Joel said before walking away. "Come on." I put my hand on Ellie's back and guided her the way Joel went. Just a few more miles and we'd be at Bill and Frank's.

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller the last of us #joel the last of us #the last of us x you #the last of us x reader #ellie the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us #the last of us x yn #joel miller tlou #tlou show #tlou x reader #tlou series #tlou hbo #joel and ellie #ellie x reader #ellie williams #ellie tlou #pedro pascal

[joannaliceevans-fanficblog]

Always You: Part. 3

Weeeeee! Its another chapter! As always, I would like to thank all of you for reading! It really means a lot to me!

AU Actor Frank Adler x Y/N, Jarred Perry x Y/N

FIrst off I would like to thank these beautiful people!

to the lovely besties: @adulting-sucks​ @princessofdarkwinter @hollybee8917

You watched as the man emerged from the shadows, your eyes widening as Frank appeared. You started to shake in fear. You shouldn’t be like this, but he was in your home uninvited. He was supposed to be the love of your life, the man you loved, but you weren’t sure who he became at that moment.

“Honey, I know you're scared-” 

“How did you get in?! Why are you here, Frank?”

Frank sighed, dug into his pocket, and pulled out the spare key. You looked at the key and sighed, remembering that he had a copy you gave him a while back when you two were together, but now circumstances are different; you made a mental note to get it back. 

He didn’t deserve it.

“But that doesn’t answer my question, Frank. Why are you here?” you asked once more. 

Frank leaned against the island table in your kitchen and crossed his arms. 

“I know you're mad and have every right to be, but you have to know that this is just-” 

“Work? Ha, I know it's work. But this is different, Frank. You’re taken, and that’s considered cheating. How long have you known about this contract?”

Frank looked at you, trying to find the words without hurting you, the look in his eyes one you had seen too many times.

“Since Ju-”

“Since June?!” You questioned, finishing his sentence. 

Frank felt the blood drain from his body. He never liked lying to you, but Janice told him not to say anything until right. 

“Honey, please-”

“Don’t honey me, Frank! You knew but failed to tell me; let me rephrase that you have the guts to lie to me?” you yelled. 

“You know how Janice works! You and she are in the same business. She just wants what’s-”

“Janice doesn’t work the way I do. You know that I don’t do that shit. I don’t believe in PR shitships. All that does is bring issue after issue to deal with,” You said, placing your hand on your hip and staring at Frank. 

“I know that, but I just-”

“Just what, Frank? Need to stay in the limelight? You know this isn’t like you,” you said, feeling disappointed. “You were this wholesome man that I fell in love with, then you did that movie with Bonnie, and then this happened.” 

“The fans-”

“Yes, the fans like you with her; I fucking get it. But you know her past and what a mess she is. I got emails from UTA that they want to do some PR shit with Jarred, and you know what he said? He didn’t want to do it. He knew how messed up a situation she was in.”

“Y/N, she’s a nice girl. Yes, she had a bad history with the media, but she changed. I just need to-.”

“DON’T YOU DARE, FRANK!” 

“What, that I need to be in a PR-”

“Frank, why? Just why do you need to do this? That’s all I ask. Do you not want to be out of the light for a while?”

“Janice wants me to get an Oscar, a nomination, maybe a win-”

“And this is how it's going to be? Wow, she’s asking for it.” 

“But seriously, Y/N. None of these matters to me because I still love you-”

“And you think I do? You think I still love you?”

Frank stood there for a moment, thinking of what you just said. 

“Honey, you don’t-”

Before he could say anything, you went to your purse and fished out your ring, looking at it briefly before shoving it into his chest.

“I do not need this. When you finally realize what you want, maybe you can give it back to me. Maybe when you realize how screwed up this is, then there is a chance. But for now, we are done,” you said. 

Frank looked at you in disbelief, placing his hand on top of yours and holding it tight into his.

"Honey Bee, please, you don't mean any of this. You mean the world to-"

You yanked your hand out of his and shoved him away from you, tears forming in your eyes. 

"Please, Frank, just leave." 

"No, I will not leave until you tell me this isn't ov-"

"It's over, Frank. You lied, and you changed. Get the fuck out of my house," you said, your hands gripping the counter and not facing him. 

You felt his hands on your waist and immediately turned around and pushed him off.

"FRANK ADLER, GET OUT NOW!"

Frank tried to touch you again, but you slapped him. Looking at you again, he opened the door and turned to you.

"I still love you," Frank said and walked out. 

You slammed the door, standing there for a moment before you slid down to the ground. 

On the other side, Frank stood facing the doorway, hearing your cries, and feeling your pain.

**

Three Months Later

Three months had passed, and you found yourself trying to move on. Instead, you found yourself sitting at home after work with a Grey Goose or Maker's Mark bottle. You wanted to call your best friend Diana, but she was out of town with her client. Since the breakup, Frank had called you less but still managed to text you. Morning, Afternoon, and Goodnight, just like he used to do when he was on location for a shoot. 

It made you smile but faded with the thought of him and Bonnie. It doesn't help when the entertainment news has them plastered on tv and in magazines. Janice called you and wanted to set up a dinner with you to discuss things. You gave her the “I'll have my assistant call you for the times,” and then you hung up. You knew she would come and visit you sooner or later, but until then, you want to avoid her as much as possible.

You placed your wine glass on the coffee table and picked up your phone. Your phone lit up, which caught your attention. It was a reminder notification that reminded you that you had an afternoon flight to Boston with Jarred for his gala and filming. You had your bags packed and ready to go the next day, and your driver will be picking you up from your house and taking you to the airport hangar at LAX.  

**

The following afternoon, you found yourself in the backseat of the SUV that would be taking you to the airport. Jarred was running a bit late but would meet you on the plane. You sat and looked at your phone and the schedule. It wasn’t too much, but Jarred didn't have an extensive plan, so he wanted to head to his vacation home in Concord, which you agreed to. Jarred had been working for almost a year, and he was getting tired; you deserved a mini vacation as well. 

You needed to get away from everything that was going on in your life. You told your team before you left the office that you would be on vacation and not bother you unless it was an emergency. But you knew that they would call you. You placed your phone down when you noticed that the car had pulled up into the hangar. Another car was there, and you knew it was Jarred.

Jarred came out from the private jet and waved at you. You waved back and got out of the car, your driver moving your luggage out of the trunk and onto the plane. You walked into the private jet and took a seat in front of Jarred. 

“Well, that was a semi-long day today,” you mentioned, placing your bag next to you and leaning back into the chair. Jarred laughed, too, leaning back in his chair. 

“Well, the same with me. I was running late at home. Buggar did not want to make his shit, so I had to get Jessie to take him, and I was out the door.” Jarred said. 

“Ha, no worries. I thought I was running late too. Midafternoon traffic is no joke.” You spoke. 

“Anyways, what time is the gala?” Jarred asked. You took out your phone and scanned his schedule. 

“It’s later tonight. You will be going straight from the airport; you get one day break, and then you start filming for Knives Out. 

“Ah, working with Chris Evans. It is always fun with that guy.” Jarred said.

“Yea, he’s a nice guy. But he’s a very messy man.” 

“Yea, tell me about it.” 

“Just remember to keep it casual with him and don’t get too involved,” you warned.

“Oh, trust me, I don’t need reporters hounding me for his personal life,” Jarred said as you shook your head with a smile.

**

Later that night, you found yourself at the high-rise of the Four Seasons Hotel in Boston, outside with a glass of wine in your hands. You walked to the edge, looking towards the city. The calm wind blew against your warm skin, and you smiled. Down below, the city was still awake, but you somehow felt at peace.

“Admiring the views?” You heard a voice that caught you off guard. You turned around to find a handsome man; his blue eyes shined as you felt your cheeks heat. 

You took a sip of your wine, “Yeah, it's quite nice out tonight.”

The man held out his hand, “I’m Chris.” 

You took his hand and smiled, “Nice to meet you, Chris; I’m Y/N.” 

As you shook his hand, you heard someone clear his throat, and you both turned to see Jarred standing with his champagne in his hand. 

"Hey, Chris!" Jarred said, taking his place next to you. Chris looked at Jarred and then gave his million-dollar smile. 

"Jarred didn't think you would be here," Chris said, holding his hand out. Jarred shook his hand, making sure to keep his place beside you. 

Before you could say something, Chris excused himself. As he left, you turned around and raised an eyebrow at Jarred. He stared at you, confused.

"What?" Jarred said, laughing.

"Cock blocker," you said. 

Jarred looked at you for a moment and then laughed. 

"Cock blocker? Why would-"

"Because he's hot!" you said. Jarred laughed even more, then placed his arm around your waist.

"Trust me, and you don't wanna mess with a messy man," Jarred said, leading you back inside. You laughed, leaning in close to him.

"Oh, trust me, I know. I just got out of a relationship with one. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to let him flirt a little; a girl gotta feel love sometimes," you said with a laugh as Jarred shook his head.  

“Well, how about I keep you company and keep these vultures away from you,” Jarred said as you just shrugged and walked around, meeting other business associates as they chatted with you and Jarred by your side. 

**

Prying eyes wandered around the large private ballroom. She was chatting with some of the people from the industry, and she froze. 

She spotted the voices. Her eyes widened as she began to realize who the mysterious girl was. She took her device out and started to snap photos of none other than Jarred Perry and a mysterious girl. Then placed her phone down and began to dial.

Janice speaking.

Janice, it's Bonnie. I've got something that will destroy Frank.

What is it?

Y/N is getting cozy with her client, Jarred

#frank adler x reader #frank adler x female reader #frank adler x y/n #au frank adler x reader #frank adler #chris evans character fanfiction

[kiloskywalker]

Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday!

Thank you so much to my bestie/future possible podcast host (lol) @chaotictarlos.  I now give to you a few more than seven sentences from my upcoming Tarlos Fighter Pilot AU, “Take My Breath Away” coming later this year. *** *** *** “You’re doing it again!”  Marjan said.  “Dude, if you’re infatuated with him or something you should just go up and talk to him rather than stare like a crazy stalker.”

“We’re supposed to be competitors, Firefox,” Carlos replied.  “Besides, he’d probably just ghost me.”

“Remember what Captain Ryder literally just said?  You’re supposed to learn how to be teammates.  Maybe you’ll learn something from each other if you’re both not trying to constantly one up the other.  Besides, when we’re up there, I need to make sure that you have my back and that you’re not just thinking about ways to beat him,” Marjan countered.

Carlos was starting to get a little tired of people having good points in their conversation.  Marjan was right, Carlos definitely needed to at least get to know TK, maybe definitely in a context that was wildly different from their previous encounters. 

He took a big swig of his drink before standing up and walking toward the other pilot, rolling his eyes at Marjan’s “attaboy, go get him!” as she patted his back.  He mentally prepared himself, trying to think of polite conversation topics, but his mind went blank when TK turned around and spotted him.

TK smirked as he saw Carlos walking toward him, he had to admire the other man’s confidence for sure.

“Lieutenant Carlos,” TK said cooly, “of all the gin joints in all the world.”

“Lieutenant Strand,” Carlos said, his voice flat.  He looked at the other man up and down, admiring the way his Navy khaki uniform hugged him in all the right places.  All of his rational thoughts flew out of his mind as he imagined undoing each button on his uniform while kissing him senseless.  He forgot about his previous distaste for the other pilot, and was only consumed by how fucking gorgeous he was.  Lieutenant TK Strand was undoubtedly a ten, and Carlos couldn’t get him out of his head.  In more ways than one.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were in the Navy the last time we–” he said without thinking, not willing to even finish the sentence.

TK smirked again, and Carlos could feel himself getting weak at the knees at it.  What was happening to him?

“You mean during our last encounter?  Our little rendezvous in the bathroom?  You didn’t ask, and to be frank, it seemed like you had other things on your mind at the time.”

“Yes, but we’re competitors,” Carlos said.  “Competitors don’t–”  He stopped himself again.

TK half-laughed.  “What?  Suck each other off in the bathroom of a beach bar?  Yeah I think you’re right about that part.  It would make watching sports a lot more fun.” *** *** *** I am still hard at work on this fic in between my busy work schedule and having some modicum of a social life.  I’ve never published anything I’ve written before online so I’m excited and nervous for the rest of it to be finished. I’ll tag anyone reading this who wants to participate since I don’t want to pressure you if you aren’t willing to share/aren’t working on anything at the moment.  Just know that I love to read other people’s fics as well (even if they’re WIPs) and I will gladly hype you up or lend my prompt gremlin services to you.  Ask @chaotictarlos, my powers are great.  Thanks for reading!  See you in the skies!

#seven sentence sunday #911 ls fic #911 lone star #tarlos fic #tk strand #carlos reyes #kilo writes #just give me top gun but gay and with tarlos

[youngpettyqueen]

MASH for the fandom ask

MASH my beloved my cinnamon apple I know im on a Trek kick rn but MASH still takes up an absurd amount of real estate in my brain

The first character I first fell in love with: Hawkeye <3 imprinted on him, like, immediately. also realized very quickly that oh he has my sense of humour cause my dad learned HIS sense of humour from Hawkeye. this man has been influencing my family and me since before I was born

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Charles!! I did not think I was going to be super into Charles. when he came in I figured he'd just be Frank's replacement and would be about as one note as Frank had become, and man am I happy I was wrong. such a compelling character with fantastic episodes, great arcs, and of course how can you resist DOS and his show-stealing acting

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: I want to establish that I do very much like Mulcahy but he is probably my least favourite of the main cast just by default. his episodes are very repetitive and his character growth never really sticks unfortunately. again, I do like him a lot, but I dont get the really intense love others have for him. no judgement! I love that he has a dedicated part of the fandom!

The character I love that everyone else hates: Frank like yes he's horrible and he sucks but as a character I love him. as an antagonist I love him. I wish he hadn't become such a one note character by his last season, because he had some genuinely great moments and deserved a lot better writing-wise. Larry Linville did a fantastic job with the character he's just so delightful to watch

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: again gotta preface by saying I still like this character a lot but Potter. I loved him a lot in my first watch, but on rewatch I wasn't as invested in him. dont get me wrong, I still like him, I still find him compelling, but he ushers in that softening of that anti-military stance in MASH so that takes some of my love for his character away. ive written a whole thing on how I read him and why he compels me with all his flaws so I won't restate it

The character I would totally smooch: I need Margaret like I need air. also Trapper, Klinger, and Hawkeye, and Kellye, and Margie, and-

The character I’d want to be like: in a lot of ways I'd love to be like Hawkeye. in a lot of ways I already am like Hawkeye, but he has a sureness and a confidence that I don't (yet) when it comes to how he interacts with people, and I wish I was as courageous

The character I’d slap: Frank <3

A pairing that I love: I'd be here forever if I listed all of em so I'll say the big ones on the brain rn which are Charleshawk and Houlihawk

A pairing that I despise: Radar/Hawkeye it weirds me out. I really dont like it.

#mash #ty for the ask!! #going on a Trek kick while still being fixated on MASH makes me want a Star Trek medical show tbh

[mlobsters]

tw suicide

supernatural s8e19 taxi driver (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

what is this music, are we in a police procedural??? daily gripe that this show would have been so much better with a different score

all right a lot happening here. bobby's in hell??? the trial requires getting an innocent soul out of hell into heaven, well gee. what a COINKYDINK. but sam's off to do the quest by himself, dean must be freakin out

"so this is hell?" sure looks like purgatory. but that made me realize i hadn't determined if sam remembers the cage at all since castiel took the hallucinations etc away. has the show said?

SAM Wait. So you're not coming with me? AJAY Don't be ridiculous. Smuggling a mortal across the border is risky enough. But gate-crashing a Winchester into Hell seriously blows.

cute way to put it

KEVIN Just tell me when this all ends, 'cause that's the only thing I want to hear. DEAN No, like I told you before, this isn't going to end. Look, man, other guys, they got it easy, you know? It's all backyard barbecues and... bowling teams, but you and me? We got to carry a little extra weight. KEVIN I can't take it. DEAN Yes, you can. Hey, look at me. Now, this whole thing sucks. I know. But you suck it up and you push through because that's what we do. And when you get on board with that, the ride is a lot smoother. French fry?

dean channeling john winchester. also reminds me when dean was breaking down in the hospital after castiel told him he had to stop the apocalypse

from s4e16 on the head of a pin: DEAN Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this? CASTIEL Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you— DEAN Jump-started the apocalypse. CASTIEL And we were too late. DEAN Why didn't you just leave me there, then? CASTIEL It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it.

just made me think about sam being the righteous man that stopped it.. anyway, what i was originally thinking about in contrast was how it continues:

DEAN Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean! CASTIEL I don't know. DEAN Bull. CASTIEL I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you. DEAN Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me.

thought of that because it's such a similar situation. but i mean dean has been on this ride so many times... just recent iteration with frank telling him he's killing himself the way he's working after bobby died, to be professional and smile through it and fake you're fine (coincidentally it was the krissy/baby teen wolf paige episode s7e11)

oh sam. my emotional state is doing the work here for being traumatizing for sam to be wandering in, because the looks and sounds of hell here are very... xena production quality, just a little darker. though if sam doesn't remember the cage anymore, maybe there's no trauma to be had!

also, why did he take off his watch and put it on the wall, the watch specifically seems like a bad thing to remove? and what's that about hell time being different, so dean's 4 months was 40 years boop boop does that mean sam's gotta stay down there 117 days for 24 hours to pass topside? or does that only apply to being tortured. too high to logic (or my pet theory did they make that time inflation just for more dean whump and promptly forgot about it)

CROWLEY Something is going on. My Hellhound has been killed. Winchester jumbo size is trying to break into the mother ship.

low hanging fruit but i laughed

they really lean into benny talking to dean like a boyfriend

BENNY So good to hear your voice, Dean. I mean that. DEAN How you been? BENNY Oh, you know... I get by. DEAN I guess I let you down, huh? BENNY Look, I'm, uh... I'm just happy as hell to hear from you.

poor benny. so what, dean's gonna ask him to die to go to purgatory, help sam and bobby, take a ride in sam's arm back to earth? lol

oh benny. agh. feelings!

BENNY Wow. When Dean Winchester asks for a favor, he's not screwing around. DEAN Benny, sending you back there is the last thing I ever wanted to do. BENNY I know. I know. DEAN But my little brother is stuck down there. BENNY This would be the little brother who wants to kill me, right? DEAN You got access to the place. BENNY By "access," you mean "getting beheaded"? DEAN Yeah, you're right – it's too much. It's not like I've exactly been there for you lately. [DEAN's voice shakes.]

oh no. benny's gettin the ellen/jo/meg treatment too now. no wonder he's bein so charming and sweet, dean's being vulnerable..

BENNY Oh, you don't owe me nothing. Truth is, uh... I could use a break from all this. DEAN It really been that tough? BENNY I'm not a good fit, Dean. Not with vampires and, for sure, not with the humans. I don't belong. And after a while... that starts to wear on you. Right? Cry me a river. Like you need to listen to this. DEAN Well, when you get back up here, we're gonna fix all that, okay? BENNY When I get back? DEAN Yeah, you find the portal, and your ride out of Purgatory with Sam just like you did with me, okay? As soon as I send you back, I'm gonna haul my ass up to Maine, and I'm gonna be waiting there for you when you get topside. BENNY Yeah. That sounds like a plan, chief. Let's get on with it.

ok but talking like that is very... suicidal sounding. and clearly setting up that he's not going to come back. don't like it

sitting here thinking i wasn't expecting to have a sobbing breakdown over benny, why is this so much worse than jo and ellen. and i think it's because like, what he said. about not fitting in with anyone, how it wears on you. those are real life things we (i) deal with. that may also include suicidal ideation. it's not blowing up hellhounds with your daughter who died before she could set it off. yeah the supernatural aspect is what's causing those feelings, but those are very real life feelings too.

to deflect from how i am feeling, something something literally killing your ex to get your brotherhusband back. this is fucking awful.

BOBBY Dean spent a year in this place? SAM Running and fighting, all day, every day. BOBBY Must have been hell on you not being able to get him out all that time. You did try? SAM Look, Bobby, Dean and I had an agreement, okay? BOBBY I know that agreement. I taught you that agreement. That's a non-agreement.

bobby agrees it's out of character

and now benny gets to tell him that he's staying, right. like in the abyss

the abyss (1989)

least we got a hug out of it, i guess

blegh

(i'm a big bag of trauma over someone real close to me that died by suicide, combined with my own depression issues and sometimes stuff like this is a stab in the gut of all that)

#supernatural #spnwatch #tw suicide #spn 8x19 #benny lafitte #the abyss #spn 4x16 #eugenie ross leming #brad buckner

[lonelyasawhisper]

Records

Creem, 1st March 1977

Queen - A Day At The Races by Billy Altman

(Elektra)

When Queen was first kicking around the airwaves, one was tempted to giggle at, and possibly even enjoy, their heavy metal meets the National Barbershop Quartet Society sound. "Liar" was lots of fun, especially if you were a devout Catholic and it generally appeared that Queen was well on its way to grabbing Jethro Tull's guilt ridden crown of thorns which lan Anderson had blown by showing his true colors once too often via Passion Play and Queen didn't appear to be too serious about all this stuff either. Of course, A Night At The Opera screwed up that notion completely. A good friend of mine who sees AM radio's biggest value as motivator through pain—not so much that you want to drive with the radio on as wanting to get where you're going quicker so that you no longer have to have it on—just loves to throw "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the jukebox at bars because it used to help us all drink quicker so that we wouldn't care if it was on or not. With that album though Queen ceased to be a joke, trading reservations in the pew for a box at the Met. Uh, uh—that's where I get off fella—the Mothers of Invention's "Brown Shoes Don't Make It" was more than enough for me.

So here's A Day At The Races (what's next? Monkey Business, Room Service or Love Happy?) and there's a terminal cuteness about this album that is, to be brutally frank, as sickening as Chastity Bono. La-dee-dah, "I'm A Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy," "You Take My Breath Away," (hubba-hubba) and, oh yes, "The Millionaire Waltz" (did you know that Freddie Mercury buys rare paintings in his spare time?). It does go on. Plenty of music hall bravura—Freddie Mercury as the King Sisters, except that Brian May is not Alvino Rey. Actually, Brian May hardly does much of anything on this album which means that unless you're a rock 'n' roll pansy you're not going to like this record very much (obviously these guys never got their tickets to Suffragette City).

Now that they're such good buddies with us Yanks they think they can throw in a tune like "White Man" (two words; these clown have obviously never read R. Crumb), about the plight of the Indians. Personally, I'd rather have Mark Lindsay's remake of "Indian Reservation" or "Please Mr. Custer" than this piece of "we're holier than you and besides it's not even our problem." But that's not the topper —the last track is "Teo Terriatte (Let Us Cling Together)" (cling, cling, as in static; somebody should have thrown a sheet of Bounce into the final mix), with chorus in a foreign language, Japanese I think. Now on the cover of this mag it says "America's Only Rock 'n' Roll Magazine" so if you want to do something for your country, cut out the last track and mail it to your Tokyo pen pal from high school who you never wrote back to, namely because you couldn't understand their English. Maybe he or she will appreciate it. In fact, why don't you mail them the whole album? And thank you for being an American.

Bonus:

Mail

Creem, 1st May 1977

Incest Is A Family Affair

I just read your article on Queen by Billy Altman and I hated it, in fact, I think it sucked out loud! I have most of the magazines on Queen and I never read a most rotten [Definitely, sic!—Ed.] article. If you write about a group you should build them up, not put them down. I'm not the only one to feel this way so Billy Altman..."Bite My Ass" 'cause Queen is Num. 1!

Mary Beth Barber

Charlotte, N.C.

(You've got a point...they're "num", all right. — Ed.)

Retrieved from The Creem Archive

#article #review #a day at the races #adatr #queen band #creem #1976 #1977