#like the chorus sounds so so good (as does the rest of the song but the chorus especially to me)

[misc-obeyme]

for the drabble thing kinda 👉👈 (mostly be rambling per usual but could be an idea). I've been listening to music non stop at work and favorite record by fall out boy came on today

and there's a lyric that goes "and I confessed, confessed to you riding shotgun, underneath purple skies" and it screams mammon and mc to me. ALSO the rest of the song makes it sound like past tense/lost love/one that got away...angst potential too. Like reminiscing? Mc moved on but he never did.

I just like thinking about different ways he may confess, and if he'd just blurt it out without thinking? Or maybe he's hyped himself up, he's driving mc up to a hilltop to stargaze, he's got it all planned - and something mc does just makes him blurt it out

if it was something silly like turning on the A/C before he could finish asking them to, because MC just knows him that well, that would be hilarious

Mammon: hey uh, can you-

mc, already turning the dial: i got you

Mammon: i am in love with you.

- ✨ anon

also, partially related but Flu Game by the same band reminds me so much of nightbringer!mc and I could go on forever about it

Yes this feels very Mammon to me... blurting it out before he means to lol! I do like the angst of MC moving on, but he never did, too! That's some good potential right there.

BUT I did a drabble based on the rest of the idea, that he's taking MC to a hilltop to confess but doesn't quite make it lol.

Mammon knows he has to tell you. It's been stewing inside him for a while, brought to his attention every time you meet his eyes, every time you say his name, every time you touch him or hug him or do something before he even asks. He's nervous to say it, but he won't risk losing you because he was too afraid.

He has it all planned out. What better way than to take you for a drive? Up onto the highest hilltop in the Devildom. Thinking about it makes his pulse race. He's on high alert all day, not able to focus on anything except the moment when those words pass his lips.

Mammon rehearses what he'll say. He thought about getting poetic, but in the end he decides it's better to just be straightforward. To be honest, to be true, to tell you exactly what he needs you to know, so there is no possibility of miscommunication. He chants it in his head all day. I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you, I'm in love with you.

You settle into the passenger seat of his Demonio like you belong there, riding shotgun beside him. He wants to say it right then, before he's even started the car.

I'm in love with you.

Mammon holds it in as you click in your seat belt and smile at him before turning on the music. It's a playlist you made together of all the songs you both love most. As you start singing along to the chorus, he wants to say it again.

I'm in love with you.

Mammon's eyes are on the road, but you are all encompassing. Despite this, he doesn't let his attention wander from the task of driving. He cares too much about you to be reckless.

He hasn't said much because he doesn't trust himself to speak. The road gets tricky as he starts up the winding cliff side to get to the highest hilltop. He can't look away from it, but he's sweating. He wipes quickly at his forehead.

"Hey, MC, can ya-"

"I got you," you say, already turning the dial.

His heart skips. And the words he's been repeating in his mind all day come bursting out. "I'm in love with you."

For a moment, the only sound is a soft song that has begun to play. Mammon's mind is buzzing, full of static at the shock of what he's just done, what he's said. He didn't even make it up to the hilltop.

"Er- I mean-" he starts to say, but it's too late.

He sees you reaching toward him in his periphery. He takes your outstretched hand without even thinking about it.

"I love you, too," you say, simply.

Mammon holds your hand like it's the only thing keeping him alive as he finally makes it to his destination. He stops the car and turns to you, taking in the way your eyes are shining brighter than all the stars and city lights streaming in through the windshield. He leans over to kiss you and the current between you is like lightning, brighter and more intense than any other light could hope to be. Wild, unpredictable, full of passion - just like him.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

#I always forget how much I like writing for him until I do it again #he's so silly #it's adorable #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me mammon #om mammon #obey me mammon x reader #om mammon x reader #obey me mammon x mc #om mammon x mc #obey me x reader #x reader #request #✨ anon #misc writes

[chisatowo]

Society if 25ji used their head voices more often *insert image of bug (the song) here*

#rat rambles #sekai posting #idk if thats exactly the right term Im looking for but idk how else to word it dhdnhdjd #like the chorus sounds so so good (as does the rest of the song but the chorus especially to me) #and I was like looking at other 25ji covers to try and place why I dont like most of them and I thinkkkk Ive got an idea now? #basically a lot of their covers are very chest voicy which is my nice way of saying it feels like theyre just talking at me #like thats not an inherently bad thing per say but their voices just. do not mesh well a lot of the time like that #plus a lot of the songs they cover just dont rly work well with those kinda vocals in my opinion #cough cough lower #also touya specifically has a similar thing going on where his best covers are the ones where hes using more of a head voice #like they can sound soooo good but also can sound soooo bad dhsnyxkdydj #Ill give his yobanashi decieve solo cover some slack though since he was clearly meant to be more backing akito in the group cover #honestly thats where 25ji rly flounder their voices dont support each other usually which can make their music feel kinda flat #tbf its not like everyone else is much better wxs are the only one that I can think of more than like 2 examples for off the top of my head #wxs just work together rly well at their best individually I dont strongly care abt any if their voices but together they can be soooo good #anyways sorry for screaming abt rhythm game music again do you still think Im hot

[bleedingoptimism]

You Are Mine part 3

Second day is an early call too. They are going to shoot a bunch of scenes of them hanging out between shows, loitering on the bus, playing d&d, and going to weird little dinners, all things they actually do when on tour.

It’s even better than the day before, Robin and Steve get along so well with the band it feels like they’ve been friends for years.

Since their conversation won't be distinguishable in the video, Argyle tells them they can talk about whatever and just be a little more emphatic when talking so it reads better on camera.

A direction that apparently they don't need at all because they are both so expressive. And so, they actually get to chat and get to know each other better, laughing and joking all through the day.

Robin, who is a ‘raging lesbian’ (her words) is fucking adorable and bizarre, her energy is contagious and nerve-racking. She’s finishing a career in linguistics, can speak fluently in like six languages, and is apparently a certified genius.

She’s also head over heels obsessed with her girlfriend, and won’t stop talking about her. Vicky is a nurse student, one of Steve’s classmates actually.

‘Steve is a fucking nurse student, why is that hot? Why does he find that so hot? Jesus’.

Steve is much quieter than Robin, especially in comparison. But he’s just, or even funnier. Eddie can see how observant he is, listening attentively and waiting for his moment, because he’s mostly quiet but when he speaks he always says the perfect thing.

It’s like every time he talks Eddie can see him dropping an imaginary mike on the floor. It’s fascinating honestly.

He is incredibly sweet too. Eddie can tell, by how his eyes light up when they are placed in a scene meant to look like they are playing Dungeons and Dragons and he goes on a tangent about the kids he used to babysit when he was younger, that they like to play too, how they drove him insane and how he never lost touch with them after they grew up, how they are all seniors in high school now, how proud he is of them. It’s so fucking cute.

They get a good laugh imagining the kids' reactions to seeing them in the video, Steve laughing so hard he cries when Robin starts imitating the expression of one of them finding out Steve made out with his favorite singer.

And they haven’t even talked about or planned that scene yet, it’s meant to be shot tomorrow, but when he hears them talking about it, it fills Eddie up with antici…pation. He’s dying to kiss Steve and he can’t stop thinking about it.

♫

After the lunch break, they shoot a bunch of scenarios of Eddie sneaking into various places, the bus, a bathroom, a changing room, and so on. Since Robin and Steve are practically the same height is easy to cheat the camera into only showing the back of the shirt that says ‘crew’ making it impossible to know which one of them he’s hooking up with until the end of the video.

He has a lot of fun pushing Steve into different corners of the set, and Steve does too judging from all his cute little laughs between scenes. 

Argyle calls it a day late afternoon, he’s happy and excited, says he has a really good feeling about this,

“Not many scenes left to shoot, mostly you two,” he said pointing at Steve and him, “So we can start mid-morning tomorrow. Get some rest my dudes, love you” and dismisses them.

Eddie gets distracted talking with Argyle so when he gets back to the changing room there’s no one there, except… Steve.

He’s meticulously fixing his hair in the mirror and he’s humming the video’s song. Of course he is, Eddie thinks amused, he’s heard it so many times by now. He leans on the doorway watching Steve’s reflection, waiting for him to notice Eddie, but Steve doesn’t see him right away, and thinking he’s alone, he starts singing.

I don’t want to hide anymore,

I want the whole world to know,

That you are mine,

Are you mine, please be mine, you are mine.

It’s his song, but it sounds nothing like it. The chorus of You Are Mine is loud, angry, desperate but what Steve is singing sounds so soft, so beautiful. It sounds like one of those slow acoustic covers that usually play in coffee stores and it’s funny, Eddie despises those kinds of covers, but Steve’s? 

Steve’s he could listen to all the goddam time.

He’s so lost in his thoughts he doesn't notice when Steve finally sees him, he only looks up when the singing stops.

Steve is smiling at him bashfully through the reflection in the mirror, blushing prettily. 

Smiling back he tells Steve, “I’m surprised you are not sick of it yet,”

He pushes himself off the doorframe and walks inside, hovering over Steve since he’s sitting on the only makeup chair.

Steve shrugs as he stands up and leaves the chair to Eddie, going around the room to grab his things. Eddie can’t help but feel a little disappointed, he kind of wanted Steve to keep him company, but to his surprise, Steve doesn't leave immediately, and it’s his turn to hover slightly close.

“It’s a really catchy song,” Steve says and Eddie snorts because, no, it’s not. But he just smiles again and says,

“Well, thank you.”

“You wrote it?” Steve asks tilting his head to the side and it’s fucking unfair how cute he looks when he does it.

Eddie just nods, because speaking hard when cute boy near. Man he usually has so much more game, what is it about Steve that just makes him feel so giddy?

“It must be about someone very special,” Steve says and there’s a question hidden somewhere in there.

And Eddie wants to tell him ‘I wrote it for you’ because it feels like he did. He wrote the song thinking about a concept, an ideal, someone he would truly want, and he genuinely feels he was conjuring up Steve in his mind. Even before he met him.

But instead, he shakes his head and says, “It’s hypothetical, there- there’s no one.”

And Steve smiles at him, his smile getting bigger slowly and his cheeks redder as he looks down for a second before staring at Eddie through his lashes, “Good” he says in an almost whisper and then leaves the room.

And Eddie thinks maybe all the songs in their next album will be about Steve.

to be continued

part 1: ♫

part 2: ♫

part 3: is this

part 4: ♫ 

☕ cafecito?

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #corroded coffin #robin buckley #i wrote something #did yall like my song??

[toomanybandstocare]

{Nose Kisses}

Program: Eddie's not as scary as everyone thinks. Actually, he's as terrifying as a doe. He can't help but feel a little shy when you show your interest after a Corroded Coffin show.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x GN! Reader

Genre: Fluff

Length: 987w

Camp Upside Down Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol and bar fights. Compliments (Gorgeous and Dazzling). Couple of swears.

Counselor Notes: Thank you dear @staygoldwriting for the lil ask! I really just wanted some sweet boy Eddie, and I was all smiley when writing it.

Eddie Munson is as courageous as a mouse in a suit of armor. His acts of bravado often cause people to spare him a startled glance. Van speakers booming with Dio as he cruises to the Hideaway. A patch jacket that seems to sag under its new additions after a weekly music shop visit.

Eddie Munson speaks so loud and commands a room with outcast authority just to avoid attention. His logic: why allow anyone the chance to make him the social circle sacrifice. 

Eddie Munson feels a flame in his chest and visibly shrinks in size when he catches your electric look of adoration after a Corroded Coffin show. His fingers twist the sweaty, silver bands wrapped around them as he sneaks glances over to your friend group at the bar. 

“Hey, Romeo,” Jeff snaps Eddie’s attention back to the booth, “Your turn to buy the round”. A chorus of snickers rumble across the table from Sebastian and Gareth, and Eddie flushes from his friend’s knowing looks.

“Huh,” Eddie squeaks. Sounding like a freshman in high school certainly will not help him defend himself from the onslaught of teasing brewing.

“We’re doing you a favor,” Sebastian chuckles and slides his glass across the booth. It lands with a dull clink, and it’s soon followed by two more.

“Practically doe eyed and Bambi bashful all night,” Jeff points out and starts to shift his weight. Leaning into the side of the booth bench that Eddie occupies, Jeff pushes his shoulder into Eddie’s with a sudden shove.

“Don’t go cheap on us this time, and don’t chicken out like every time,” Gareth chides as he pushes the glasses into Eddie’s waving hands.

Anyone watching the scene would think that Eddie’s headbanging to the Motley song. Frizzy, black curls flying everywhere as he shakes his head.

“Guys come one,” Eddie pleads, “I’ll cover. That’s not an issue. Just someone else grab them.”

“Sorry,” Jeff shrugs and lays down on the bench completely. He sends Eddie an upside down, lopsided grin.

“Just too tired,” Gareth yawns and slouches into his seat.

“Stuck on the inside of the booth,” Sebastian rests his arms on the table followed by his chin.

“Go get us something good, and don’t come back without a number,” the boys simultaneously shoo Eddie away.

“Assholes,” Eddie breathes under his breath while taking the glasses into his hands.

The faint sounds of their laughter blend into the rowdy drunken chatter when he turns to walk over to the bar. One final shake of his head allows Eddie to shield himself with his hair. Every bump to his body causes a flurry of butterflies to tickle his tummy. He just needs to get to the bar and back to the booth. Nothing he can’t manage.

With an anxious tremble, Eddie sets the glasses down and flags Jodie with a small salute. Eddie’s eyes flicker from bottle to bottle before meeting his reflection in the mirror behind the liquor shelf. When he notices your familiar figure standing right next to him, Eddie jumps back a little in fright. His sneaker tripping on your boot as he tries to catch himself before causing a bar fight.

“Easy there, Bambi,” your calm voice floods Eddie with ease. Your hand quickly dashes out to grab his elbow. Securely holding onto him, you help him steady himself and rub small circles into his jacket’s soft leather sleeves. “You alright?”

“Shit, yeah. I’m sorry. Jesus Christ,” Eddie starts to ramble and apologize profusely. “Wait. What did you just call me,” he sends you an incredulous look before tumbling back into his apologies.

“Bambi. Big brown eyes. A smitten smile. So shy and sweet, you can’t even look at me,” you mumble to yourself. You unconsciously start to tap your foot in thought.

An amused look graces your face as you try to catch Eddie’s gaze, but his hair keeps swaying in the way. You tug the emergency scrunchie from your wrist and take a step into Eddie’s space. A small laugh warms you when you realize Eddie is so absorbed in his words that he doesn’t notice you pressing into his chest and reaching your arms around his neck. Softly trailing your fingers at the base of his neck, you feel Eddie’s breath hitch. You gather his locks with gentle care and wrap his hair into a small bun. A hum of approval tickles your lips when you inspect your work.

“There. Now I can see those beautiful, brown eyes,” you smile at the blushing boy. 

“Thanks,” Eddie squeaks.His eyes wide in shock as he finally sees you clearly and so close. Eddie can’t even think to wince before the sound of your melodious laughter relaxes the tension in his posture.

“Need another, Eddie,” Jodie calls both your attention as she sets down four replenished glasses.

Eddie’s blush burns his skin as he coughs, “No, just the four”. He hands her the money plus tip before daring to take a glance back at you. Your smile sends him into a dizzy state of glee.

“I think both our friend groups are dying to call us back, so here,” you step closer and tuck a piece of paper into his pocket. “My number. We can figure out how to get my scrunchie home another day,” you explain while looping his bandana around your finger.

Eddie doesn’t know what came over him. Maybe it was the beer from earlier. Maybe it's how gorgeous you look under the shitty spotlights. Maybe your dazzling smile finally made him crumble.

Carefully gathering the glasses between his hands, Eddie turns to you and pauses. Shifting his weight back and forth on his heels, Eddie swoops closer and presses a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. Feather light and excitement overcomes any second guesses. Taking a step back, Eddie shoots you a bashful smile, “Sounds like a plan, Thumper”.

#camp halfwit bulletin post #counselor mythos post #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things fluff #stranger things one shot #stranger things one shots #stranger things fic #stranger things fics #eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson one shots #eddie munson fics #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x yn #stranger things blurb #stranger things blurbs #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson blurbs

[beautifulpersonpeach]

You know what I love so much about BTS's music is when you've not listened to a song or album for a while and when you do not only are you reminded of how good it is, but also sometimes songs you already like and have heard countless times before you suddenly latch onto unexpectedly. It happens to me often with their music, the latest song for me being Let me know. It just got it's claws into me on my Dark and Wild revisit and I've had it on repeatedly the past few days. I don't know what it is about them or their music that manages to just keep grabbing at you the way it does, maybe it's because their discography is so large and varied, but whatever it is I'm very grateful.

***

That’s the thing about excellent quality: it’s timeless. It doesn’t matter how old their songs are, how much you replay them, or whatever. When you listen to BTS’s music, you know it’s good because it feels incredible.

Your experience with Let Me Know is one I relate to so hard. That song was released in 2014 you know. BTS were really dropping bangers right out the gate. Like, it’s no surprise they blew up the way they did because they just had the best music point blank period.

They still do.

The songs I’ve revisited recently that made me feel similarly to you are:

- Mikrokosmos: Not a bad song at all, but one I usually skip and don’t add to my playlists because it’s not exactly my taste and it often reminds me of BTS concerts and that’s a sore topic for me recently. But I was traveling this past weekend and browsing music on the plane, and saw it then played it on a whim. And man, it hit me again just how good that song is. BTS knows how to make good music and execute it perfectly every time.

- I NEED U (Remix): There’s this view in the fandom that BTS only recently started putting out several remixes, but while they’ve certainly put out more in recent years to match pace with Western practices, they’ve also always kinda been into remixes. And back in my day, the fandom actually made it a point to enjoy the remixes. I Need U remix is one such remix I used to jam out to back then, and while playing some of my older lists recently to prepare for Hobi’s birthday, this song played and the nostalgia hit me like a truck.

- Lost: This is the most underrated song in BTS’s discography. It’s one of the songs where you just have to watch the live performance and see the choreography. It’s just too good. In fact, Lost > The Truth Untold. By a mile. Jungkook’s voice and insane runs in that song are something you just have to experience for yourself.

They dropped that banger 3 years after their debut.

- Go Go: This song is what solidified BTS’s success in 2017. Not DNA imo. Just listen to their voices in this song. Listen to how they sing, how unrefined and passionate it is. They sound like they’re having fun. I forgot about Go Go until a few weeks ago and it’s in my rotation again.

- Fly to my Room: Songs like this is why BTS is on top of the k-pop food chain. Nobody in the entire industry can arrange and pull off a song like this: choir/gospel with a fuckass organ + gutter trap + Hoseok’s verse… like, god. Those whispered harmonies in the final chorus before the crescendo outro. Jimin’s high notes…. It’s just such a serve of a song. They killed it.

- Spinebreaker: Someone asked me recently how the rapline became my bias, if I started with one rapline member then the rest followed, or if it was all at once. I didn’t answer that ask but anon if you’re reading this, the answer is all at once. I’d liked the rapline since debut but I think it was this song that did it for me. All of them on this track are insane. From the moment I heard Joon’s voice at the start I just accepted my fate.

Anyway, thanks for this ask Anon. BTS are so loved because they put their heart and soul into the music they make and it shows. It’s why streaming their stuff has never felt like a chore for me. I look forward to listening to their music every day I wake up. It makes my life better. I’m happy it seems to be at least a bit similar for you too.

#BTS #kpop #BTS army #BTS fandom #rapline bias #bts rapline

[shadowetienne]

OnlyOneOf "give me the lOve, bitxx" Lyrical and Thematic Analysis

OK, so, I have a lot of thoughts about this one! I think that there are several ways to interpret it! So some notes before you start reading:

I am looking at this through a queer lens, if you want to do a non queer reading, good for you, that's not what I'm discussing here

Some of my interpretations are going to go multiple potential ways, and this isn't an essay I'm writing for school or actual publication, so I may leave some trailing thoughts or slightly stream of consciousness style explanations

I am fascinated by the lyrical structure of this song, so bear with the fact that I'm going to babble about that a bit before I dive into the details of lyrics/meanings.

If you've not listened to the song in full yet, here's the official version:

And here is the wonderful translation done by Imbabey on YouTube that I used for reference:

I would love to hear other people's thoughts on this song! It's fascinating to me, and I think that it's a really important part of the lyrical story of the album as a whole!

This is about to get really long, so the rest is under the cut:

SONG/LYRICAL STRUCTURE

So, I'm going to start out with talking about the construction of this song because I think that it's really interesting! We start and end the song with the chorus, and it repeats a total of 4 times within the song. That chorus takes up about half of the entire song! It's important and we should be paying attention to it.

We also have a 2 part Prechorus that repeats twice (before the 2nd and 3rd version of the Chorus) with the very first line of it changed each time. This is interesting in part because that's more repeated lyrics taking up a lot of the song, but that also points to that changed starting lyric as being super important!

Then we have our three other Verses: Verse 1 is short (only 4 lines), Verse 2 is longer with some rap and builds up to the development, and Verse 3 acts as the Bridge into the final chorus and has a really different sound to it. Verse 3/Bridge is also quite short (only 4 lines). So little of the total song is in these storytelling verses, but a lot happens!

THEMATIC CONNECTIONS

I will talk about more of these later, after I dig into the lyrics more specifically, but I want to reference a few songs that I will bring up in thinking about this one.

First off is actually one of their covers, KB and Junji's cover of "Heather":

While this song is a very different angle, like "give me the lOve, bitxx" I feel like it deals with the issues with dealing with being queer in a society that does not want you to be, and how that can build resentment. OnlyOneOf is very thoughtful in how they pick their covers, especially the ones that they make fancy videos for, so I think that they are a lens that we can think about their own discography from. This was actually one of the things that I thought of right away when I got the full lyrics for "give me the lOve, bitxx" so it's worth having it in mind when reading the rest of my analysis.

Another older song of theirs with an MV that I want us to look back at for the context of this song is "angel":

I am considering this song specifically as a lens of how heteronormativity creates a narrative of how people need to react/act in society, and how that can lead to overcompensation, and also sometimes some pretty obsessive patterns (doing relationships right, having the right appearance of interest even if there is not actual interest). Obviously, "angel" is a song with many different interpretations, and I've considered writing something longer form about it, but again, remember that right now, this is a reading through the queer lens. This is a song and MV that I've got in my head as context for "give me the lOve, bitxx" so I want to make sure it's fresh for you as well.

Important note to carry with you in this echo of "angel" in the interpretation: In "angel" the narrator has idealized the idea of this girl, of the perfect straight relationship that will make him fit in society (again I know, among other things). In "give me the lOve, bitxx" he has that relationship, and it hasn't fixed things for him. He still doesn't fit, and in fact kind of seems to feel even worse.

I think that there are themes present in a lot of their songs that are echoed here, but those are the two big lenses that I wanted to bring up before we get into the thick of things.

OTHER OVERARCHING THEMATIC THOUGHTS

We're almost to talking about the lyrics, I promise. But there's a big thing that I want to discuss here that leads to two very different readings of the song.

I think that one possible reading of this song involves the narrator addressing two separate love interests: a guy who he has had his first taste of queer attraction and love with recently and the girl who he has been dating in an attempt to feel "correct" in society.

I will be addressing this potential second person I think getting talked to in a few places in the song, but also try to reference what I think the interpretation would be if these parts are addressed to the girl or not.

THE CHORUS

Don't make me pull the trigger [girl*] Once you know more you'll get hurt Don't come near Maybe I could be dangerous Give me your treasure [what] What's there to laugh at? Oh I can't hear anything right now, freeze

*I have added the two adlibbed words that I caught from what the translation above has transcribed in brackets. However, the first adlib "girl" only appears in Choruses 1-3 and is omitted in the final Chorus.

These lyrics are aggressive, and kind of nasty towards the girl. They are reminiscent of a hold up, an attack, but also a threat to end a relationship ("pulling the trigger" on something to end it). Whatever the case, there is some threat involved in these lyrics. The narrator views himself, or on some level wants to be viewed, as "dangerous." He also seems to want the end to the current relationship, at the same time, he wants to just ignore everything and have things stay where they are and "freeze."

He doesn't think he's good for the girl, he doesn't really think that he's good for himself here. There's a certain amount of hopelessness in this chorus. He's got this whole persona, this "bad boy" image too, and that definitely makes me think of overcompensation. A lot of times, queer people will make the decision to lean really far into heteronormativity to protect themselves, and this bad boy vibe that the narrator has going definitely leads into that.

I think that it is really interesting that the "girl" adlib drops for the final chorus. If the male partner is also being addressed, by dropping the girl from the chorus at the end, it can also be interpreted that what is bringing up these feelings of needing to end the conventional heteronormative relationship is the new relationship with the male partner that has made the narrator realize that this current relationship is creating something dangerous for him, and he can't get the love that he wants in it (and that he actually does want love that is not socially expected/accepted).

THE PRECHORUSES

The first line of the prechorus is the only line that changes between the two. In the first prechorus it is:

It kind of bothers me.

And in the second prechorus it is:

It feels kind of weird.

I think that this change in the lyrics is leading into the feeling that the narrator is figuring out what he wants over the course of the song. It's changed from being something annoying without really having a clear direction of that, to feeling weird or uncomfortable to what the narrator wants.

I've divided the prechorus into two parts in my mind at least. After that first line, the rest of the prechorus goes:

What the hell do you want from me baby? Foreign personality, style Somehow I'm injurious, so dangerous.

I feel like this really draws in the idea of the narrator feeling like he doesn't fit the expectations of society and how he should behave in it. He doesn't know what his partner wants from him, he feels "foreign" and "injurious" in his roles and interactions.

This version of him talking about being "dangerous" also feels much more confused, like he's been told that the way he is would make him "dangerous." That word "Somehow" carries a lot of weight in this. He feels conflicted about it.

We follow this into the second half of the prechorus, which is unchanged between the two:

When you hug me tight from behind I feel broken, I can't explain it Love Don't come near, no way

This set of lines actually really interests me because I feel like it could be absolutely addressed to both or either of the girlfriend and the male partner.

One of those big queer experiences that a lot of us have been through is feeling broken and wanting to hide from it. In the narrator's heteronormative relationship that should make him fit, he's not enjoying these experiences and doesn't want them, and that makes him "feel broken."

But at the same time, if addressed to the male partner, when he experiences these sorts of things, he does enjoy them, and that potentially scares him just as much. He doesn't want to let the male partner near because that experience feeling right makes him "feel broken" by society that has said that it's not an OK way for him to feel.

So either here, he's telling the girl he's been dating as overcompensation to get away from him and leave him alone because he's not feeling it, or he's telling the guy that he's into and struggling against the feeling to stay away because the very possibility of that makes him feel weird and scared and he doesn't know what to do with it.

VERSE 1

This is the verse that gave me the idea of the song being addressed to two different people! It's actually the set of lyrics that initially made me think, oh huh, this sounds like it might be addressed to the guy that he's been thinking of. Especially in the narrative succession to "dOpamine" where he's got some obsession going on. I think that it can be read as addressed to either though.

I think of your face all day long I look strange to myself I can't think about anything else Why do you keep getting stuck in my head?

If this is addressed to the male love interest, it makes a lot of sense that the narrator is sitting there going: I have this "perfect" in the eyes of society relationship, one that I should be so happy with, but all I can think about is this guy that I'm into. Why can't I leave it alone?

On the other hand, if this is addressed to the girlfriend, it can also read as trying to force himself into the right way of thinking about his relationship. And because of it looking "strange" (weird, uncomfortable, not right) to himself. He's getting "stuck" on this idea, and not getting anywhere with it. He can't get that sort of love he wants in the relationship he has, and he's uncomfortable with that.

VERSE 2 (the long verse)

Like with the prechorus, I see this as being divided into two parts. This verse is rap heavier, and it really feels like a lot of the development of the feelings and understanding of his feelings that the narrator has.

Why are you so clingy anytime I see you? I'm speaking, but you cover my mouth Yeah, because of you Again, seeing my sudden bewildered expression makes her stop her words

This is actually another section that I think can be addressed to either partner! And maybe the "her" in the final line of this part of the verse is a translation artifact that I'm reading too much into, but it does make me think, is "her" different from "you" here.

If this is addressed to the girlfriend, it reads as really just not actually wanting the relationship, as feeling silenced from his actual feelings by the demands of society represented in the girlfriend and the fact that he feels the need to have a girlfriend to compensate, and that's starting to really grate on him now that he has seen/experienced another option. It implies that the girlfriend is starting to see the cracks in their relationship and know that something is wrong, maybe she's even trying to make space for him to say something, and he's not saying it.

If this is addressed to the male love interest, it's a really different vibe. It's the questions of: Why are you risking showing this in public? Why are you stopping me from talking? Why are you both showing this so much and trying to keep me from actually talking about it? In this reading, the girlfriend is noticing whatever is going on between the narrator and the male love interest, but maybe doesn't know what to say about it or if there is anything to say.

The second part of this verse is much more focused on the internal feelings of the narrator as opposed to the interaction with others.

I hide my feelings, thinking of each other I close my eyes Well I gotta play dumb, making it pump, sick of it numb, pick up the phone Relax now (Boogie on and boogie on)

So this part of the song is definitely at least in part about sex and intimacy between partners. Who is the "each other" here? Well, I think that it can be the narrator and the girlfriend, where he's closing his eyes to hide from himself and his lack of actual interest. It could also be the male love interest where he's closing his eyes when with the girlfriend to better imagine what he actually wants and his fighting himself over.

I find the part "pick up the phone" really interesting. He's having this unfulfilling experience in the relationship that he's supposed to want, the one that is supposed to be perfect for him in the eyes of society, so he's reaching for his virtual world that lets him get away from that (and where I suspect he can contact the male love interest, or at least see things about him). He's relaxing by getting away from what is supposed to be his important intimate relationship.

VERSE 3 / BRIDGE

There is a big change in tone with this verse, and I think that this is where the narrator accepts what he is feeling, and that he doesn't actually want to be with the girl, he doesn't want what society thinks that he should want. He's still conflicted and scared, actually maybe more scared, but he's starting to realize. I think that that's part of why the "girl" adlib then proceeds to be dropped in the final chorus that comes after it.

Tasty like a raindrop, oh my I can't get used to it at all You know what? Actually I'm afraid you will leave Give me a chance to kill my doubt

I think that the first half of this verse is referring to his experience of queer intimacy with male love interest, the first time he's actually enjoyed it, and referring back to "dOpamine" that "thirst" that he's experiencing (with the "raindrop" lyric).

The second half is another one of those things where it could be addressed to either the girlfriend or the male love interest.

If it's addressed to the girlfriend, even though he's realized what he actually wants, the fact that it goes against the directives of society, and what he feels like he should want, he just wants that one more chance to see if maybe it could work with the girlfriend, that he is scared of what is past this relationship that isn't fulfilling but is at least safe.

If it's addressed to the male love interest, I get the impression that there's an element of the male love interest having basically said "look make a decision," and the narrator has been hesitating. Not feeling safe. And now he's saying, wait I'm more afraid of the idea of not having a chance with you and something that actually feels right than I am of leaving my safe by social standards relationship. Give me one last chance to taste this possibility and make myself sure before I jump into this relationship that feels dangerous but fulfilling.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Whoever the song is addressed to ("you"), the narrator has very much built up feelings of resentment towards social expectations and the girlfriend that he has put those social expectations on.

He's sort of billed himself as dangerous because of how society views what he has realized about himself. He knows he isn't being good to himself, he's not being good to the girlfriend, he's hurting everything in his path because social expectations are weighing down on him and telling him he's awful and hurting him.

A big part of the song is him kind of breaking under that, realizing that he can't keep going the way he is going, but struggling to make that final decision to leave and actually face his queerness and the possibilities that exist in it.

#OnlyOneOf #give me the love bitxx Analysis #Things I Can't Say LOve album #I don't think that I realized just how much I had to say about this song until I started saying it #I feel like I'm leaving things out still too #I'd love to hear your thoughts about it too! #Youtube

[bisexualhobi]

exo - exist review

i just wanna start by saying that this comeback is the highlight of my year already. i did have high expectations because after all, this is exo and their discography is easily at the top of the entire industry... and for groups that debuted over a decade ago they're one of the last still standing, so after a 4 year old hiatus the expectations were high to say the least. did they manage to meet them? let's find out!

the title track deserves a whole paragraph so:

cream soda - a high paced r&b pop song with a luscious instrumental and a collection of high notes that flex the strengths of the group. it definitely packs a punch and i think it would benefit from getting a slower intro but even so, the song doesn't disappoint. it kinda reminds me of a maroon 5 song during their golden years and i think it's the perfect balance of "grown men r&b" and playfulness (coupled with less than subtle sexual innuendos about popping like a soda bottle this is a great evolution for exo, who have been known to always make pussy popping music but have struggled to shed the high school boys image sm is so fixated on giving them). rating: 9/10

regret it - literally straight out of the pcy1 vault and you can't convince me otherwise. soooo happy to hear an r&b jam straight out of the 90s since that is literally exo's blueprint. i love the production on this track because it has enough elements to keep it interesting and the chorus is super catchy. chanyeol takes the crown for me for obvious biased reasons but i love kyungsoo and jongdae's runs in this. rating: 10/10

hear me out - sounds much better like this. like now i get 100% the reasoning behind this song and the style it has. it's really such a chill vibe and a welcome breather after the one two punch of the previous songs. i feel like the prechorus and post chorus of this song could have been amped up way more and a breakdown for the bridge would've made it ten times more fun tho. rating: 9/10

random observation i noticed: the resting silences between songs are a tad too short for my liking. we need to let this marinate and sometimes it does feel like the album is sprinting towards the end.

private party - chanyeol opening the song AS HE FUCKING SHOULD. this beat is nasty... it's the perfect combination of exo's r&b sultry side and a hot sexy beat to shake ass to. it's just fun and good and takes you on a sonic ride from start to finish. i did expect the weeknd vibes from the title alone but i'm glad with the result here. rating: 10/10

cinderella - oh marz. oh you.... i knew exactly what the beat drop was gonna sound like from the second the song started and i'm not mad about it! this is another old school r&b infused serenade song while giving it a fresh modern style with the synth arrangements. taking a point off just because the mixing is too compressed and the synth takes over the landscape in an overbearing way (happens all the time with flume too so i get it but i feel like this could've been prevented here). rating: 9/10

no makeup - okay so the whore music run of this album from private party to no makeup is insane. we get it. these men fuck. they made sure to let us know they're in their 30s and it was about DAMN time. that post that's like they melted their dick and balls into a flashdrive and fucked the console in the recording studio.... yeah. the background harmonies are TOP TIER too but i didn't expect anything less from exo. props to jongdae, minseok and chanyeol cause they were working overtime layering these vocals. rating: 10/10

love fool - deadass was expecting this to be the slower snoozefest of the album... but exo are intent on making every track off this album COUNT. this is such a classic exo jam... every element of this song works in their favor. great melody, great instrumentals, great topline, great chorus. this is PURE quintessential exo. rating: 10/10

another day - this is good song! a great song even. my notes for this one just say "good song. really like it" it's just not something that stuck out to me enough to analyze it further. i think that's fine. the layering of vocals is once again great. i don't love the topline specially for the chorus (feels super nct 127 past their peak) but it's still a good song. rating: 8/10

let me in - this is their boyz ii men serve of the year. perfect closer. perfect slow ballad and i'm not a fan of those in the first place. definitely the vocal highlight of the album. that's all i can say. exo did it once again kids. rating: 9/10

#exo #.txt

[gretavangroupie]

Crave (Chapter 1)

Word count: 10.4k+

Pairing: Josh x Female Reader

Summary: After pushing the girl you love into the arms of your best friend, you're left regretting your choices.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Crave Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess none of this would be what it is without her touch.

.

.

.

JOSH POV

It’s been a long day. The longest day, and it wasn’t even over yet. 

The night before spilled into the earliest hours of this morning, your time spent twisted in between the sheets with the woman you’ve been waiting for. The sound of your alarm blaring would come too quickly, harshly pulling you back to reality.

Today when you wake up though, you feel like you’re still in a dream. Your eyes flutter open to find her still curled next to you, her fingertips running across your body causing goosebumps to rise in the places left behind. You take a deep breath and the remnants of her perfume clouds your senses. You are absolutely positive it does not get better than this. Starting your morning this way is enough to get you through today’s session. With the promise of seeing her later, you head to the studio, hoping that you’re not the last one there. 

The entire drive you can’t help but smile from ear to ear, reminiscing on the events from the night prior. You replay her giggles, you wish you could hear that sound every day for the rest of your life. Your cheeks start to heat thinking about the way she got brave after a few drinks. Beginning to touch you more often, intentionally brushing her thigh against yours, moving her face dangerously closer and closer to yours while staring at your mouth. You hope these memories will stay in your mind forever, like a film, just for you to press play when you need it. 

Finally you arrive to the studio and realize that you are in fact the last one there, but you don’t dare explain why. The smile plastered to your face should explain enough. As you step into the sound booth, everyone stares at you questioningly. 

Jake stares at you, silently asking what you’re so chipper about, you responding in your head, and as if he could hear you he raises his eyebrows with a nod. 

Sam looks puzzled sitting on the couch, not caring enough to pry, and Daniel…won’t even look at you. 

What’s eating him?

“Well, are you ready to get this over with?” Danny asks the group.

“Let’s do it.” Sam replies.

The day goes relatively smoothly. You re-record the chorus of a song, as Sam sits at the mixer. Danny comes over the intercom, “Josh that sounded like shit, lets re-cut it.” He says harshly. 

“Um, typically its me criticizing myself…and I thought that was a pretty good take…” you reply defensively.

“No, it wasn’t, just do it again.” He snaps.

What the hell? Apparently he is still in a mood. He was quiet at the bar last night. 

“Okay, Sam, can you run the track back please, seems I am ‘doing it again’...” You say snidely. 

After a little bit of back and forth, things seemed to mellow out for the rest of the day, but you can tell something has Danny pissed off, and you have all been walking on eggshells around him all day. You decide to confront him as you begin to wrap up for the day.

“Hey man, is everything okay, you seem…volatile.” You question.

“Oh, no Josh everything is just perfect, really…” he says sarcastically.

You give him an insulted look and shrug your shoulders, walking away.

Jeez, whatever it is, he does not want to talk about it. Fine.

You brush it off and decide to move on. You’re still reeling from the best night of your life, you aren’t going to let your moody friend put a damper on it. You don’t deserve to deal with his bullshit anyway, it’s not like it’s your fault he’s having a bad day.

You feel a twinge of nervous excitement in your chest as you realize you’ll see your girl shortly. There is no better feeling than seeing her after a long day, but this time it’s different. She really is your girl and now that you’ve had her, you’re never letting her go. 

Okay, Josh. Just have to play it cool with the guys for a bit, let them warm up to the idea. Maybe I’ll start flirting in front of them a bit. Let them see us in action so it’s less of a surprise.

As you get in your car the nerves begin to fill your chest. The drive over isn’t too long, part of the reason you always go there. At first it was just easy to go where Jake and the guys wanted to go, but then as you got to know her… it changed. You wanted to go there, you wouldn’t think of going anywhere else. 

Why are you so nervous? You see her every single day… You were naked in her bed together less than 12 hours ago, get it together man.

As you roll into the gravel parking lot, you take a deep centering breath, throw your door open and step out. The rest of the guys pull up around the same time, rowdy as usual, ready to have a drink and unwind. 

You all clamber inside the front door, the little bell ringing over head, a sound you’ve grown to love. As everyone rushes straight to our usual table, you look over to the left and there she is, both hands on the bar top, leaning against it with a smile as she sees you all coming in. 

She is so breathtaking. I hope she never stops greeting me with that smile, it’s intoxicating.

“I’ll grab the first round boys, the usual?” You ask, as they continue walking, nodding their heads in agreement.

Ready to rip the band-aid off, you walk over to the bar with a sheepish smile on your face. Holding your hands together nervously.

Somehow she is even more beautiful now than she was before. 

“Hello, doll…” you say with a smile, finally making eye contact with her.

“Well hello stranger…” she says playfully, giggling out of obvious nerves, her cheeks blushing slightly. 

“Sounds like we are all up for the usual tonight.” You say.

“I think I can do that.” She says reaching over to grab a few glasses.

“Did you guys have a good day?” She asks, making the drinks.

You bring your hands up to cradle your cheeks, your elbows that are placed on the bar top supporting the weight of your head. “Yeah it was…an interesting day for sure.” You reply, pondering.

“Really? Why does it seem like a bad thing?” She asks.

“Ahh, just band stuff… not everyone got to wake up to you this morning.” You reply, flirting a little.

You see her swallow and blink forcefully.

Okay, maybe laying it on a little too thick, reel it back dude. She hasn’t even said anything about it yet, you need to slow down.

“Well, I’m sure these will help…” she says pushing the drinks forward.

You smile at her and nod, taking the drinks back to the table and setting them down. Trying not to overthink whatever interaction just happened.

Hoping to deescalate some of Daniel’s tension you pat him on the back and hand him his drink.

“You did great today dude, this is gonna be our best one yet. I just know it.” You say.

He picks up the glass and throws back the entirety of the Whiskey.

Damn, I haven’t even sat down yet…

“You good, Daniel? I haven’t even taken a sip yet…” Sam laughs as he brings the bottle of beer to his lips.

“Yeah man… didn’t get much sleep last night. Counting on a whiskey slumber tonight.” Danny replies, with an edge on his voice.

Jake shoots you a curious look, and you slightly shake your head insinuating that you have no idea what’s going on. Sam looks at you the same way.

Why would I know?

Suddenly you see Sam’s face change as an idea crosses his mind. 

“Hey, pretty lady!” Sam stands up and yells across the bar, hoping to grab her attention. Her eyes landing directly on him, never faltering.  

“My friend Daniel here, needs a refill, already! I think there was a hole in his glass. Why don’t we do a round of shots too, I think we could all use a night of fun.” he wiggles his eyebrows and laughs as he sits back down. 

She nods her head and begins making the shots, lining up the glasses and pouring in the alcohol. She then mixes a few more drinks, shaking the metal shaker, looking directly at you, a sudden warmth creeping across your chest. 

You turn back to the guys, so not to be obviously staring at her. 

“You really just cant go one night without making us all suffer, huh Sammy?” Jake jokes.

Sam shrugs his shoulder and bounces his legs excitedly as she begins to walk over to the table with the tray.

“Alright! Hey! Have a shot with us!” Sam pleads with her, she looks torn on whether she should or not, you can see it on her face. 

What is up with her tonight? Just this morning you were on cloud nine. Or at least you were… is she regretting it already? 

“Here, you can have mine. Doesn’t mix well with my beer.” Jake says, handing her his glass.

Sam raises his eyebrows as he begins his toast, “To the best bartender around…” 

Everyone tips their shot glasses back, swallowing down the spicy liquid.

“Bartending isn’t the only thing she’s known for around here, huh?” Daniel says, under his breath.

What the fuck does that mean?

Daniels eyes are staring daggers directly into her, and she looks shocked at the harshness of his statement, you still unsure of what is going on. He is practically shaking with anger.

You can’t let him attack her, he can say whatever he wants to you, but not her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask confrontationally.

“Well, I mean she is pretty good lay, too. At least I think so… What do you think, Josh? Saw your car at her apartment before the sun came up this morning. Did she fuck you so good? Fuck you right to sleep? She’s good at that.” he asks pointedly at you, letting out a small scoff.

What? How would he….wait…Her and Danny? They hate each other….oh god. 

When would they have gotten together? How long has it been going on? Why does it hurt as bad as it does? Why is he doing this now? In front of the guys? Fuck this.

Trying to ignore the pain in your chest and your mind racing a million miles a minute, you narrow your eyes at him.  

“Danny. I think you need to shut your fucking mouth. Now. Before you say anything else that you’ll regret. We can talk about this in private. Not here.” You snap at him.

“No, I think we should all talk now. That way Jake and Sammy can know what they are getting themselves into if she tries to go four for four with us.” He replies, bitterness lining every word.

Holy shit, he is really trying to cut her deep. He is pissed.

“Go on… Tell them how we’ve been fucking for weeks. Sneaking around after hours… 

Pretending to hate each other, while we fuck our brains out behind closed doors. Tell poor Josh here, that he isn’t the only one who has been inside you lately. Whore…” he says, practically spitting venom. 

You feel a pang in your chest as the words leave his mouth. 

Weeks? How did you not know? 

You slept together… why didn’t she…say something. Oh god, I told her how bad I’ve wanted her. That I’ve been thinking about it for so long. This explains why she is acting the way she is. It wasn’t supposed to happen. At least not in her mind. 

You look to her as the shot glass in her hand falls and shatters to the floor. Her breathing is rapid and her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Despite your anger and embarrassment you want to grab her, steal her away from this. But you cant, your head is spinning and you aren’t sure what to do but you know that you absolutely cannot let him talk to her like this. Not ever. You quickly stand up and tower over Danny, getting as close to his face as you can.

“Don’t you ever speak like that to her again. Especially here?! Where she fucking WORKS?! This is exactly why you will never be with her, dude. You are a fucking dick. Why would she want to be with someone who isn’t even man enough to treat her with respect?  Get a fucking grip. This conversation is finished, the three of us can continue it elsewhere.” You yell, overcome with emotion.

You feel tears forming in your own eyes, you can’t tell if it’s because you’re mad, hurt, embarrassed… maybe all three. Her eyes meet yours for a second before you tear them away from hers. 

You don’t want her to see you upset. 

How could you be so stupid to think she wanted you the way you wanted her. 

Struggling to get the words out you turn to your twin, needing to get out of there quickly,

“Jake, can you get the tab? I need to go.” you manage to say, unable to hide the emotion in your voice.

Jake nods and motions towards the door, you know he can tell that you’re upset, feel it even. He doesn’t dare ask. You throw back the rest of the drink in your glass, grab your keys off the table and walk straight out the door without a look back.

As you reach your car you fling the door open and get inside slamming the it behind you.

“Fuck” you yell, hitting the steering wheel with both hands. You place your elbows on the wheel, resting your head in your hands. You sit there just for a moment, trying to process everything that just happened.

She’s been sleeping with Daniel for weeks. She didn’t tell you and slept with you. Danny found out and he is furious. Well, now you’re furious. How did I get into this mess?

You throw the car into reverse and back out of the parking lot, tires spinning as you leave. You see Sam and Daniel walking to Sam’s car as you pull into traffic.

God, I cannot believe I was so stupid as to think her and I would ever be anything. I should have never told him to go after her. He must have done it… the one time he actually listened to you…

Speeding down the interstate, the music blaring from the speakers is interrupted by a phone call. Jake is calling. You blow out an exasperated breath, knowing exactly what he wants. 

“Hello.” You say blankly.

“Josh… what the fuck?” He asks.

“I have no idea. I thought… I didn’t know they were…this whole thing is fucked.” You reply.

“No, I know you didn’t know. I didn’t know either. None of us did. I mean, what the fuck are you doing leaving her like that? I thought you liked her?” He replies.

“I don’t know, seemed like the right thing… I don’t know….fuck…I just couldn’t stay there. I would have said something I didn’t mean and I do like her, I have always liked her. Last night we finally… we came together and I thought she wanted me too…but now, I don’t know up from down. ” You say, struggling to explain.

“I think she does, she was a mess when I was closing out. I think you need to go back. Talk to her, figure this shit out. You and I both know Danny isn’t going to do it. She needs someone, and I think it’s you.” He says imploringly.

You breathe a long sigh out, tapping your fingers on the steering wheel checking the time on the clock.  You whip your car around, heading back to the bar, knowing that Jake is right.

“Alright, fine.” You reply.

“Good, you call me if you need anything. I am going to call Sam, see if he is tending to Daniel’s fire or if I need to step in. We can’t let this shit come between us… I think you know that.” He says scolding you.

“I fucking know, Jacob. I’m not a child. If I thought things were in jeopardy I wouldn’t be going to her, I would be going to him. I’ll talk to him, okay? Just let me talk to her first, figure things out and then I’ll talk to him.” You reply.

“Alright, good luck brother.” He says ending the call.

You smash the red phone button on your steering wheel, making sure the call ended. 

You can’t help the hot tears that fall from your eyes, littering your pants with tiny wet spots. You can’t believe the dramatic turn of events that have happened today, waking up feeling on top of the world and ending the day under the weight of it. You are upset with her, with him. 

You pull back into the parking lot, it’s empty apart from her car. 

Maybe I should go in? Jake said she was a mess, I shouldn’t let her revel in it.

No. Wait for her to come out. Give her some space. What am I even going to say? I am so furious. 

I just need to talk to her. Just need to hear it from her. Give her a chance to explain everything. Maybe it didn’t happen the way I think it did. Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions.

You tap your fingers on the center console impatiently, just waiting. Replaying everything that happened, tears continue to leak out of the corner of your eyes. 

You really thought she wanted you. You thought last night was it, the turning point you had been waiting for after so many weeks of flirtatious conversations and innocent touches. I guess it didn't mean to her what it meant to you.

You don’t know how long it has been, you have been sitting here for what feels like an hour, watching and waiting to see the door open. Finally, it does. You immediately jump out and see her approaching, her hood up on her coat. Her face is red and splotchy. She has definitely been crying and is still clearly upset over everything. You lean against the front of your car, giving her the option on whether she wants to talk. She doesn’t say anything, you’re not sure if her silence is because she has nothing to say or she is afraid she will lose it again. 

“You think we can talk? You manage, almost a whisper. Something about her disheveled appearance leaving you breathless.

“I don’t think I am good company right now.” She replies, gripping the cuffs of her coat nervously. Even when you’re upset with her, you can’t help but find everything she does absolutely heartwarming.

“Please. We really need to talk. Tonight.” You beg, hoping she will just take the chance to tell you everything from her perspective. Even if it is the last thing you want to hear, you need the closure. Maybe it will help you move on. Or at least try to… Maybe she will surprise you, tell you that her time with Daniel was a mistake, and you’re the one she wants. 

Snap out of it. Feeding those delusions is not helping anyone. 

She looks at you for a minute, contemplating her options.

“Okay, you can come over to my place…God Josh, I am the one who should be begging for you to talk to me. Not the other way around.” She cries out, clearly dealing with internal conflict just like you are.

“Let’s just talk when we get there.” You say reassuringly as you step back into your car, starting it and following her out.

The drive there you prepare yourself for what is likely to be a hard conversation. You need to hear it from her though. It’s the only way. The time spent with your thoughts causing your anger and sadness to bubble up, not sure what emotion you’re feeling most. You want to be mad, and you are. But ultimately you’re just upset. The amount of grief you have over a relationship that never even began overtaking the animosity you have towards her and Danny. 

You pull into the empty parking space next to her car, and walk up the stairs to her door. She fidgets with the key and unlocks the door, immediately shedding her heavy layers on the table near the door.

She throws herself onto her couch and holds her head in her hands. You can tell she is beating herself up pretty badly.

“Josh, I…” she stops.

You sit down next to her and place a hand on her back, just trying to help her relax a bit. You realize how deep in this you are, still needing to comfort her when you feel like you have a knife in your own chest. 

“I need you to tell me everything. I don’t care about what happened, but I need to hear it from you. Please.” You say, tears nearing the brim of your eyes, threatening to spill over.

“It was never supposed to be like this, Josh. It just… happened. and now…” she stops again, her eyes also filling with tears. 

“I know…” you reply, just hoping that offering a piece of understanding will help her get it out. “I really wish you would have said something to me last night. I never would have said the things that I said if I had known. It didn’t have to be this way.” You say, not trying to add to her pain but hoping she will understand that she should have told you what had happened between them before you shared your feelings and took things to the level that it went. 

“I thought it was just going to be the one time, and I thought he did too. But every time we would see each other…. I think we both knew that it was never just the one time.…I guess it really all started at the bar.”

Were we in the same room? All I ever saw was Daniel being an ass… How does he still get the girl after acting like a complete dickhead? 

“At first everything was so normal. You all would come in every night, you’d order your drinks, we would small talk and that was it. Somewhere down the road you started to become my friends. Each of you in your own ways. Sammy, the dramatic jokester always down for a good time and a song, Jake the very serious problem solver, the voice of reason within your group, and someone I could count on to keep things in check when it began to get too rowdy. And you, my shoulder to lean on and a friend I could always talk to about anything, you were a constant each night. I would look forward to your turns to get drinks knowing I would always feel warm after our conversations, whether they be 5 minutes or 25.”

You were my constant too. All I ever saw was you. If only you knew how many hard times you got me through by just the thought of speaking to you for a minute or seeing your smile after a shit day. You will never understand what you mean to me.

Shaking your head from your thoughts you refocus, and listen.

“Then there was Danny. I wouldn’t say we ever became friends, we were hardly acquaintances.… In the beginning he wasn’t mean, he was just, quiet, almost shy.  Somewhere along the way something happened…. Feelings began to form right under our noses. Every night, stealing glances at each other. His eyes lingering on mine for just a little too long. We both felt it. We were like magnets to each other. I think we both denied feeling it for so long that it got lost.”

I guess I did notice them looking at each other a lot… I thought they were both just being hyper aware of the other’s presence, trying to avoid one another at all costs. How stupid am I to not realize what it actually was.

“He had a girlfriend and I was still relatively new in town, I was trying to settle in… One night it changed. You remember… he got so drunk, he was trying to fight people, calling me names… I know now, he was just hurt, looking for someone to blame.”

I remember it well, the first night I felt like I had to protect you.

“After kicking him out that night our dynamic changed. He was no longer watching me from across the room, instead he was glaring, and I would return it. It became an obsessive need to match his energy. His words cutting me, so I would cut him right back. We both craved it. I could just tell. I started to see a fire in his eyes each night he would walk into the bar, he craved the toxicity of whatever it was we were dancing around. So we continued, every night being as hateful as we could to each other.”

You feel a pang through your heart. Your stomach is in knots and you aren’t sure you want to hear any more. You know you need to though, to understand the depth of this connection they share.

How could she not see me? Not notice me longing for her, too? Why could she only see him? Why would she want him? With his hateful words and impulsive actions, when I have so many beautiful and tender words waiting… just for her. Only for her. I could write a million words about her and it would never be enough. 

You swallow down the pain in your chest, and try to focus on what she is saying. 

She is so beautiful, you don’t understand why she couldn’t just want you like you wanted her. She has so much to offer that Danny will never see…never value like you do.

“A few weeks ago, a guy came into the bar and I was talking to him. Things were going good… I thought he might have liked me. But then something I have never seen in Danny made its appearance. He was…jealous. He lied to the guy and made him believe something that was the farthest from the truth. Was awful about it too. He just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else having me. He wouldn’t admit it at the time, but I see it so clearly now.” She says through shaky breaths.

You remember this, that night. She was so upset, you talked to her for a while afterwards, but you see now that her anger was rose colored.

“I was so furious at him that night. I knew I was going to go straight to his house and smack him right across the face. But when I got there, with all my courage gathered up, I froze. I could hardly even remember what I was doing there. I remembered I had his house key from when I house sat, so I told him thats why I was there. He had just showered and he was only in a towel. It was the first time I really ever looked at him like that, you know? The first time I ever really saw him.  His hardened, mean facade turned playful and alluring, just for a split second, and I liked it. I was attracted to it.”

You know. You know right then. She loves him. The way she’s talking about him, its so… clear. Anything you thought she might have felt for you, couldn’t have been real. It had to be the alcohol. You should have known better. Thousands of screaming fans, but the only face you ever really saw was hers. But she hasn’t seen yours in the same light.

“My head was spinning. I rushed straight home, the whole way convincing myself that was I was feeling wasn’t what I thought. Replaying every hurtful thing he ever said in an effort to stifle back that feeling. That was the night I knew that things had really changed between us. It was shifting, to something else. Something more. I can keep going but I don’t want to say too much, I don’t want you to be upset. I know this is a lot….”

You snap back quickly, “No, keep going. I need to know.”

“You texted me the next day, and invited me to come to your party at your house. I didn’t think I was going to go, but something convinced me I should. I wanted to go, simply because you had asked me. I was happy to hear from you outside of the bar. I knew he would be there, I was nervous, but knew I had this underlying craving to see him. So I decided that if I was going to go, I was going to make it interesting.” She says.

Another blow to your chest.

I thought you came for me. When you texted me you were coming I couldn’t stop smiling. Jake asked what I was so happy about but I gave him some bullshit excuse about just being excited to be social. I tried on what must have been 15 outfits before I found one I thought you would like. I wore my favorite cologne. I was sure that was the night I was going to tell you how I felt after all this time. 

“After what had happened the night before, I knew that things between us were going to heat up. The build up was finally reaching the apex. The entire night our eyes never broke from each others. Silently calling for one another. Each of us with different people, just wishing it was the other. We could both feel the electricity in the air between us. I decided that I was going to really push his buttons. I acted on the feelings that I was feeling, knowing he would cave. I knew I had him, I could make him do anything I wanted. Finally, he snapped. He drug me out of the party and took me back to his house.”

Your breath catches and you feel your self wincing almost outwardly from the pain of her words. 

He did it? He actually took her for his own? How could your own best friend not see that you were in love with her? 

“We both knew we shouldn’t be doing it, but we just couldn’t stop. How could two people who have been so awful to each other end up in this situation? All night we fed off of each other, using each other like a drug. We were addicted. It was harsh and vile and wonderful. We both knew things wouldn’t go back to how they had been. We snuck around for weeks, lying straight to all of your faces. Slowly the hatefulness started to wear away, the hate fucking became regular fucking, maybe even something more. His feelings were shifting, and he was still pushing them back….”

A heavy sigh leaves your chest. 

What a fool, the most beautiful girl in the world, and he still won’t commit to her. 

What a mistake. I would never let you go…

“Right before you all left for the UK we had a big blowout fight, and he told me that we would never be anything more than what we were in that moment. That he would never be with a girl like me. It killed me, I thought we had gotten past it. Because I mean, wasn’t he with me? We were fucking? Anyways, the only thing I could do was to fight him back. I said something I didn’t mean and we didn’t speak after that. Not the entire time you were gone.”  

Every night you would think of her face, while she dreamt of the guy sleeping above you, and you had no idea. The guy who was fucking groupies while this beautiful girl just waited to hear from him. 

You feel sick, and your breathing becomes shaky again as you listen.

“The night you guys came in after you got back was the first time we had spoken or seen each other in weeks, but the spark was still there. I could see it in his eyes no matter how much he tried to pretend it was gone. I overheard you all talking about him getting with a groupie and the way he looked at me when he knew I heard… I thought I had been shot. I couldn’t even comprehend why I was so hurt. I was sad but couldn’t let him see that. As far as I knew he had moved on from whatever we were doing.”

You nod your head to show her you’re still here, still listening. 

“But you were there to pick me up, to make it go away. I will never be able to tell you how much that meant to me. It was the most beautiful night I’ve probably ever had, even with all the alcohol. You were perfect and gentle and tender. Everything I ever wanted for myself Josh, really.” She cries. 

It meant everything to me. I will never let it go. It may have been the best night of my life, just to be followed by the worst. 

“But something wasn’t right. Somewhere in the very back of my mind, I was still wanting him. Wishing for him to come around. Hoping he would realize that maybe the feelings he was stifling back were something more.”

When will I ever be enough…

“I think a part of me has always known that we would end up together, but ignored it, and hoped it would die down. But it didn’t. In fact that part got bigger, more needy. Desperate for him. Constantly longing to be near him. I wish more than anything that I didn’t feel this way about him. I know it’s wrong, every part of me knows I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do and I cant push it back anymore. I haven’t ever felt like this about anyone. I just wish it could have been different. I wish it could have been you Josh, I really do. But it’s him, it’s always been him.”

It will always be you for me, my beautiful girl. Always.

Swallowing the lump in your throat you nod your head that you understand, because you do. You understand that she loves him, he probably loves her too. You have to let her go to him, but you also have to tell her how you feel, how you’ve beenfeeling. It’s now or never. Your heart is beating out of your chest, you’re almost sure it’s loud enough to be audible. You take a deep breath and begin.

“Every night we come to the same bar. Do you know why?” You ask.

“No.” She whispers.

“In the beginning, it was because of convenience, a quiet place to go with good drinks… Towards the middle it became comfortable, a familiar face to always greet us and a place to relax, and somewhere around the end it became my escape. Where I could walk in and forget my outside life, knowing I would see you there.

Every night when we would walk in and I would see you, every minuscule inconvenience of my day would be gone. You were just so beautiful and refreshing. So easy to talk to and connect with. I pined for you from across the bar for as long as I can remember. Everyone knew it. Sam, Jake. Everyone except you and him. But I couldn’t bring myself to make a move, couldn’t risk losing it. My safe place. 

The day I invited you to that party, I thought maybe I would be able to tell you…I saw you and him inside. The way you were looking at each other. I think I knew then too. He came to me outside, he was worked up, anxious… a mess. I knew then he felt the same way about you that I did, so I did what any good friend would do. I put my feelings aside, I told him to go get you. He didn’t understand how I knew, but I did, because I saw you the same way he did. The way he looked at you… it was the same way I did. But you didn’t see me, you were too busy looking at him. I didn’t know you went home with him that night. I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming. I basically forced it to happen. ” you say,  tears close to falling.

The biggest mistake of my life so far. I basically pushed you into his arms. 

Her eyes are searching your face, looking for any emotion to cling to.

“Josh, I…I’m so sorry…” she says, grabbing your hands, rubbing her thumbs across your knuckles. The feeling of her skin on yours, twisting the knife deeper in your heart. Taking another breath you continue. 

“For weeks I tried to work up the courage to tell you at the bar, but I never could, especially knowing how Danny felt that night. You two were always arguing and you would always seem upset and I just wanted to comfort you. I knew the timing wasn't right. We left for the UK and I thought about you every single night. I would lie awake in my bunk imagining your smile waiting for me at the bar when I got home. I almost texted you a few drunken nights, always reigning myself back in. I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same. 

The day we got back I couldn’t wait to get to the bar. To see you. To be close to you. 

You know what happened next. While I know now that it shouldn’t have happened, I am glad it did. If it was my only chance to have you I will never regret taking that chance. I only wish you would have told me beforehand. It seems we are in a mess now and I’m not sure how we fix it. ”

It shouldn’t have happened, but I will never, ever forget it.

“Josh, I care about you so much and I wish things could have happened differently. I’ll never be able to tell you how badly I wanted it to be us. I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am that it  isn’t us. You’re kind, thoughtful, intentional. You are everything I should want and need in a partner. I would be so lucky to ever have you, in any lifetime, but I think in this one I end up with someone else. This story doesn’t have a happy ending for us.” She says, tears flowing down her cheeks.

I wish it was us. I so badly need you to see yourself how I see you. Worthy of only the best and sweetest kind of love. Not this. You deserve everything. But you deserve to be happy, and if this is it…. I will be the bystander.

You reach up and swipe away the tear away from her face.

“I know. I knew as soon as I saw your face tonight, he may as well pulled your heart out right there. I knew you loved him.” You manage.

“Josh I don’t love him?” She replies shocked.

You know she just doesn’t understand her feelings yet. It’s clear to you though. As painful as it is to admit, she talks about him like he puts the stars in the sky, even after all of his faults. The same way you talk about her. 

“But thats the thing. You do. You always have, you just haven’t realized it fully yourself yet. When he enters the room, your cheeks flush. When he talks to you your breath catches in your throat. You bite your lips and lean closer to him, and him to you. When he tells a story, you are captivated, hanging on his every word, even from across the room. Shit, you just talked about him for twenty minutes straight… I know what it feels like to be in love, but now I can say I have seen it too. You just spent so much of your time and energy fighting with each other that you never stopped to ask yourselves what was fueling the hate, what kind of tension it was. All along it was what would eventually turn into this. If you feel like even a tiny bit of that is true, you’ll go to him. He loves you too, I know he does.” You reply.

How could he not? 

You can see the panic, the relief setting in on her face at finally being able to put a word to the feeling. It crushes you.

 It should be you, not him. You’d give anything to be in his shoes. 

“Oh god. Everything is such a mess…everything is ruined.” She cries.

“It’s not, it’s only really just begun. You are an amazing woman, any man on Earth would be lucky to have you, even for five minutes. But like you said, your story doesn’t end with us, it ends with him. I will never understand, but I know somehow that this is the right thing.” You say.

I truly will never understand why for once it couldn’t be me. What am I doing wrong? What am I missing? 

“I think I do love him. I don’t know when it happened, but it did. Neither of us wanted this. This wasn’t part of the plan. I don’t even know how to fix it…Oh god, and Jake, and Sammy…they hate me too. I could see it on their faces…” she says nervously.

There it is, the words to end it all. She does love him. I need to get out of here. I need to go lay down and pretend this entire night didn’t happen. 

You place a reaffirming hand on her shoulder, gripping it slightly.

“I will smooth things over with them, leave that part to me. Jake was just feeling what I felt. It's literally in his DNA. Sam is Daniel’s best friend, he will be on his side first and foremost. But you know he can’t stay mad about anything. I will talk to them both. Things will be okay. You just need to fix it with Daniel.” You say confidently, you know you just have to explain to Jake and he will take care of Sam.

“But won’t seeing me with him… I don’t want to hurt you Josh.” She whispers.

I am already hurt, I don’t know if it gets worse than this.

You know she needs you to help her down the right path, so you gather your courage and tell her. 

“Seeing you happy is what matters the most to me. Do I wish it was me? Of course. But just know, I will be watching and at the first sign of him not treating you right, I will be there to put him in his place and take you for my own.” He says, with a soft smile. “So go. You need to tell him everything you just told me. All of it. Bring the fire with you. Hold his ass accountable, never let him talk to you like that again. About pissed me right off. Be mad at him, yell at him, but mostly, tell him you love him. It’s time.” You say.

“You heard him tonight…. He doesn’t want to see me. He wants nothing to do with me.” She says doubting herself.

“Is that why your phone has buzzed two times since I have been here?” You ask with a smirk.

She runs to her phone and a tiny smile crosses her face and you know. 

“He may not be blood, but he is still my brother. I know him like I know myself. This is why we had to do this, tonight. We needed to do this, so you could go to him without the burden of this.” You say gesturing between the two of you, standing up, and pulling your coat on.

“I forgive you, and I’ll always be here for you. But please, go to him and fight for this. One day I will have my great love story, but this one is yours.” You say.

I wish it was our love story my girl. You deserve this love, not whatever misconstrued love he is offering. Deserve anything you want. 

You grab your keys off the table, taking one last look at her beautiful face, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek, the only way you can have her now. Releasing her and stepping out the door, shutting it gently behind you.

Alone, again.

You walk down to car, taking refuge in the cold cab. Waiting to let the tears fall until you pull away. 

This is the right thing.… You are doing the right thing. She loves him. You have to let her try. 

Gripping the steering wheel you fight through the tears to make it home. You keep saying that over and over in your head. Trying to convince yourself that you didn’t just make another mistake by giving up the fight and pushing her right back to his arms, again. 

When will it be your turn? How are you supposed to move on? Anyone else doesn’t hold a candle to her, and now that I’ve had her… I’m fucked. 

As you pull into the driveway you put your car in park and immediately go inside. It’s late and you know you have to go to the studio tomorrow. You turn the shower on the let the water warm up and you look at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes are bloodshot and your hair is a mess. You look like you have been through it. You find yourself replaying what Daniel said tonight, and how he must have thought you did what you did on purpose. You might be pining over his girl, but you would never do that to him. He is your brother, and if you had known they were already getting together you would have never allowed the night to go where it went, no matter how badly you craved it.

Fuck, I need to talk to him. Maybe tomorrow at the studio. Unless…Surely he wouldn’t no show… Right?

Shedding your clothes you jump into the scalding hot shower, hoping to wash away the night and the hurt that came with it. As the water cascades down your face you think of her. How her face looked when she cried, the slight shake of her hands when she was talking. The emotions radiating off of her body.

You push it from your mind and finish your shower, quickly changing and getting into bed. You pull the string on your lamp and plug in your phone. Closing your eyes, begging for sleep to take you away, but it doesn’t. 

You toss and turn all night, the conversation from tonight replaying over and over in your head. Her words on an endless loop. 

 ‘I’ll never be able to tell you how badly I wanted it to be us.’

It doesn’t matter, your actions speak louder than your words, and you chose him. I still wasn’t enough, even if deep down you knew that it should have been me. 

You toss and turn the rest of the night, sleeping in small increments when the loud blaring of your alarm pulls you from the longest stretch you were able to manage. 

You only have about two hours until you need to be leaving and you are already dreading it.  You pull yourself out of bed and begin your morning. Well, afternoon at this point.

A while later as you sit on the couch you think about what the day will be like today, and your mind wanders to Danny. You shoot him a quick text, testing the waters.

You: You’re coming today, right?

Daniel: Yes.

You: Ok.

Okay, well at least he replied and he’s coming.

Throwing your phone on the coffee table, you try to read more of your book but you just cant seem to get her out of your head. So you let her stay, just for a while.

.

.

As you open the door to the studio, you are the last to arrive as usual. As you step into the sound booth all of them go silent on their conversation and stare at you. 

“Oh come on… what? I am only 10 minutes late this time!” You say, thinking they were talking about you being late. There is a weird energy surrounding everyone, but you know that things are probably still a little tense from last night. 

“You ready to get started?” Jake asks, changing the subject.

“Let’s do it, did you listen to that sample?” Daniel replies.

“Yes, sounds better. Let’s start with that.” Jake says.

You look between the two of them and then over to Sam who has a smug look on his face. You raise your eyebrows at him and he shakes his head slightly.

Ok…something is definitely up.

You wait all day for the blowup from Daniel, but it never comes. He seems to be acting fairly normal, which can only mean one thing. She went to him last night. It would explain all of it. Although you shouldn’t be surprised, you did tell her to. 

Wrapping up the session you are all sitting in the mixing booth chatting when Sam speaks up.

“Sixty’s?” He asks.

“I’m in.” Jake says, placing his guitar in the hard case, clipping the locks.

“Yeah, I will meet you guys there.” Daniel replies.

“Okay, twist my arm…” you joke. When in fact you are dreading stepping in there today, knowing that something definitely has transpired between the two of them.

As everyone gathers their things and head out the doors Daniel grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks.

“Josh, we need to talk.” He says.

“I know, I was hoping to avoid it though.” You reply with a smile. Really hoping to brush it all under the rug and head out to drink your sorrows away. You’re not sure you can handle hearing him talk about her after the conversation you endured last night. 

“I’m sorry about last night man, I was so heated. Didn’t occur to me that you had no idea.” He says.

“No, I didn’t know and I’m sorry I slept with your girl. I would have never…. You know… If I had known…” you stammer. Looking for the right words.

“Thank you. For talking to her last night. I owe you everything for sending her back to me.” He says, letting out a relieved breath. 

I should be happy for him, I can tell he is genuinely happy right now. He loves her too. But fuck, it should be me. 

“Brother, I would do anything for you. I knew she loved you 5 minutes into our conversation. She told me everything I would ever hope someone would say about me one day. I told her she needed to go tell you all of that. I’m guessing everything went well?” You ask, hoping for more information but trying not to pry.

“It did…more than well. I just don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us. I love her, but dude I love you too. Need you both.” He says with a hopeful smile.

“Ah, you cant get rid of me that easily. No hard feelings. Love her hard, she deserves it.” You reply, grabbing your stuff and nodding towards the door. Both of you getting in your cars and heading to the bar.

You pull up at the same time, parking and walking in together. Its strange to think that just last night you could barely look at each other and now here you were horsing around walking through the front door. You look over and she isn’t there. She must be off tonight. 

Sam and Jake are already seated at the table, giving you both strange looks when they see you both on such friendly terms.

As you sit down, you break the ice. “Oof. I am ready for a cocktail. Who’s buying?” 

After a minute of silence Sam is the first to give in. “Alright fine…” he jokingly stomps away to the bar to grab the first round.

As he’s ordering the drinks you hear a bell, indicating someone new has entered the bar. She walks in and immediately your stomach is full of butterflies at the sight of her. You can tell she feels uneasy, not wanting to make eye contact with the table yet and walking faster than usual. When she finally approaches the table, you try to make her feel more comfortable.

“Ahhh, there she is. If you can’t be serving us, your company is the next best thing.” You say with a smile that she returns back.

I will live with being just friends for eternity if it means I get to continue to see that smile on your pretty face.  

She takes the empty seat next to Daniel, placing a kiss on his cheek as he puts his arm around her bringing her in closer.

Like a lightning strike through your body the sadness hits you. You knew it wouldn’t be easy to see them together, but you weren’t expecting it so blatantly. 

Sam returns with the round of drinks for everyone. “Alright you bastards,” he starts while handing everyone their drink of choice. Once everyone has something in hand he raises his up to the ceiling.

“To all of us getting along again, and to whatever fucked up things happened staying in the past. All that matters is that my brothers are happy.” He says making the toast. You all nod your heads and take a drink. Danny places a kiss on her forehead and you turn your head pretending not to notice but you do. 

I’m not happy Sammy, cant you see that?

Fuck it, let’s get drunk. 

Playing it off, you pat Daniel’s shoulder ensuring to him that there are no hard feelings. The only feeling you are really feeling right now is heartbroken.

You turn to Jake who has his eyes fixed on the door. You can sense his emotions shifting and notice Sammy become tense as well. You look over as the door is closing behind her. 

Olivia? Holy shit…

“Well… to what do we owe this great pleasure?” Sam asks sarcastically as she approaches your table.

“C’mon Sammy, after all the years we’ve known each other THAT is how you greet me? I’m hurt.” she lets out a dry laugh and focuses her attention to Danny. 

He is in shock, he has gone rigid and you can tell he is nervous. 

This is not going to go well. Don’t fuck this up, Daniel. 

HER POV

“Hi, I’m Olivia. I’m sure Daniel has told you all about me…” she reaches her hand to yours and shakes it dismissively.

Olivia? The Olivia?

“So what are you doing here?” Jake asks her in a very questioning tone.

“I’m in town for work, thought I might find you all here…did you miss me?” she asks, staring directly at Danny.

He doesn’t reply, he is still shocked. The entire table is obviously uncomfortable, unsure how to handle this conversation. 

“Anyways, just thought it would be nice to…catch up… see what’s new, although I can see a few things are definitely….new.” she says pointedly.

You look to Josh, and he shakes his head staring directly at you, trying not to draw attention. Danny is rigid underneath you, a warmth rushing over his skin. He removes his arm from around you and folds his hands in his lap, the sudden panic growing in your chest is enough that you feel like you need to remove yourself from the situation for a moment and collect your thoughts. 

“I’ll be right back.” You announce, Josh’s eyes never leaving yours. He can tell you’re anxious. Danny doesn’t even look at you as you walk to the bathroom.

As you walk into the bathroom you shut the door and lock it behind you breathing heavily as you lean over the sink. You look at yourself in the mirror.

He loves you. He wants you. Not her.

Why does it feel like you are trying to convince yourself?

You smooth out your hair, and fix your clothes trying to regain your composure. The last thing you want is for her to think you are intimidated. 

You clear your throat and walk out of the bathroom, only to find that your seat has been taken.

What is going on? 

Don’t make a scene. You know your place in Danny’s life. We just fixed things, we love each other.

You lock eyes with Josh and you see him bite his lip as he realizes your seat is now taken. He quickly grabs another and pulls it up next to him, nodding for you to sit. 

As you reach the table you sit down next to Josh, and he leans over and whispers in your ear when no one is looking.

“You’re okay, just talk to me. She’ll leave eventually.” He says.

You nod your head and listen to him ramble. Danny’s eyes cut to you a few times. You can tell he is stressed out, but not enough to do anything about it. In fact, he hasn’t spoken a word to you since she walked in. 

She doesn’t leave, she has made her self very comfortable within the group, reminiscing on old times and laughing. You are feeling really uncomfortable and Josh can definitely sense that, placing his hand on your back and trying to talk to you separately to not be a part of their conversation. 

Your knee begins to bounce anxiously at the fact that Danny is allowing this to continue.  All of this. 

Shouldn’t he ask her to leave? Things with you two were still a little rocky to be in this kind of situation. 

Then she starts her questioning. 

“So Daniel, how long have you two been seeing each other?” She asks, almost sarcastically.

“A few weeks now…” he says looking at you with a small smile.

“How did you meet?” She asks.

“She is actually one of the bartenders here.” He answers.

Josh’s hand grips your shoulder, in silent support.

“Oh… I see.” She replies with a disgusted smirk.

I would like to smack that grin right off of your face, bitch. 

Sam quickly changes the subject. “What about you, Olivia? Still chasing people around trying to find anyone desperate enough to have you do their social media?”

You smirk to yourself. 

One point for Sammy.

“Actually, Samuel, I am working with a great team now. I run socials for a few bands. Really moved up since I worked with you guys.” She snaps.

Jake scoffs. “Well good for you.”

You can tell there is definite tension between her and the guys. She hasn’t even dared talk to Josh, let alone look his way.

As the conversation drifts else where you turn to Josh. “I think I’m gonna go, this is… weird.” You whisper.

“No, don’t go yet. Please…” He begs, “Lets go up to the bar and sit for a minute? One drink, then you can go?” He asks.

How could you say no to him? Especially after the day you put him through yesterday.

“Okay.”

“We are gonna go get another drink? Anyone want anything?” He asks, and before anyone can even open their mouths he says “No? No one? Sounds good!” And he ushers you off to the bar.

You both take a seat and you breathe out a deep sigh of relief.

“Fuck, that is really awkward… Danny hasn’t even spoken to me since she walked in.” You say, staring at your empty glass.

“Here’s the thing about Olivia…she… had this... hold over him for so long… I don’t know if she ever really got her claws out of him. He thought she was it for him. She broke his heart, was super hateful to all of us… it ended really badly. He was messed up for a while… I don’t know what has come over him tonight but its like she has got him back under her spell. I’m sure as soon as she leaves things will go back to normal. Don’t sweat it, sugar.” He says, patting your shoulder.

“But Josh, isn’t that kinda… fucked up?” You ask. “I mean… just last night he told me he was in love with me and now he is sitting, talking and engaging with his ex girlfriend? Right in front of me... as if I’m not there?” 

“Oh it one hundred percent is…” he says before you cut him off.

“Bruce…. We need shots… please.” you ask practically begging.

“Two Fireballs, por favor.” You say. 

He grabs two shot glasses and pours them up sliding them to you. 

You clink your tiny shot glasses together and drink them down, hoping it will get rid of the anxiety in your chest. 

“What is she doing here? What does she want?” You ask. 

“She said she’s here for work, but… more importantly why did she come to this bar that she knows we would be at? She is here to cause trouble as usual. Without a doubt. ” He says.

You let out a deep sigh. 

“I should have known. I couldn’t just have one uncomplicated thing in my life.” You say.

His hand grazes your back. “It doesn’t have to be complicated.” He says.

You know what he means. You know he could give you that. Deep down you know you have feelings for him, but they are nothing compared to what you feel for Danny.

“I know.” You mutter. You look over your shoulder to see Danny still talking to her. 

“Okay, I think I’m going to go. I don’t want to be here anymore.” You say defeatedly.

“Can I walk you to your car?” He asks, sounding hopeful. You don’t deserve him...

“Sure, let’s go.” You say, grabbing your bag and heading for the door.

“Aren’t you going to go say bye to Daniel?” He nods his head in the direction of the table, your eyes travel and see Danny. Still next to her, hasn’t moved an inch.

“No.” You reply, pushing the front door open and stepping out into the cool air.

.

.

.

.

#josh kiszka #josh kiszka smut #joshua michael kiszka #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet smut #greta van smut #greta van fic #danny wagner #sam kiszka #jake kiszka #jacob thomas kiszka #daniel robert wagner #samuel francis kiszka #greta van fluff #jmk x reader #gvf smut #gvf fic #gvf series #jake gvf #sam kiszka gvf #gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #gvf danny #jacob kiszka #drw x reader #gretavangroupie #crave #muse

[yamameta-inc]

okay, so here's my post digging into kirimusubi, one of the songs DOES did for gintama the final.

this is largely based on two existing translations (turn on english CC for the video), both of which i compared carefully and supplemented with my meagre understanding of japanese and some research.

both translations are generally pretty good, with the tumblr one (not sure where it's originally from) being more literal and the youtube video one smoothing the words to sound a bit more natural. one or the other seems more accurate in different places. here's more or less what i believe the lyrics to mean, with a priority over conveying meaning:

The stardust in the night sky that I look up at is always Beyond the silver dream In order to regain the old bond that I lost/was lost We have been trying to wash away even red-dyed fate And kept searching And finally got here in that hollow sunlight We swore that we would never let go of each other again [kiri musubu], shedding tears at the unruly/rough tenderness/kindness In order to love, we must continue forward on this path no matter what The stardust in the night sky that I look up at is always Beyond the silver dream If you're going to bitterly abandon yourself and go mad Why not live an upright life that's like you? (as in, when people say "That's just like you" or "that's not like you") With wounds/scars in our chests, Let's walk, then laugh like brats again So that one day, our shadows will meet again [A cry from the underbelly of my blazing soul] or [A blazing cry from the underbelly of my soul] (where "ura" is used, as in ura and omote, to denote the "other side" of the stomach) Engraves the proof that we once lived together in this place The destination of our messing around is always Beyond the silver dream If you'll do anything to protect someone, Raise your fist [kiri musubu], shedding tears at the unruly/rough tenderness/kindness In order to love, we must continue forward on this path no matter what A cry from the underbelly of my blazing soul Engraves the proof that we once lived together in this place The destination of our messing around is always Beyond the silver dream

so. there's a LOT to unpack here. but first, let's address the lyric i left untranslated, which is also the title of the song: kiri musubi. so what does this term actually mean?

literally speaking, these words mean "cut" and "tie." you might recognize kiri as a different form of "kiru." interestingly, the video translator translated it as "in the clashing swords." i'm not sure this actually has basis in anything, but it's a neat thought.

see, the title of the song is almost certainly an inversion of musubi kiri, a specific kind of knot in the japanese tradition of knot-tying, mizuhiki. what does this knot signify? well...

"a knot that's difficult to loosen once it's been tied" brings to mind the way that shouka sonjuku trio describe the bonds between them. for example when they're complaining about it in the beginning of the final (ch 699):

this is just one of the many terms used in the song that evokes a specific moment or line of dialogue in gintama. for example, "raise your fist" and

but i digress. the shocking truth is that the song's title, and part of the lyrics in its chorus, deliberately invokes a marriage and funeral simultaneously. "tying the knot" and "cutting the knot," literally. in case you didn't think the movie-original sakura blossom boat scene was enough.

that's not all, though. because i would argue that the words being inverted--kiri musubi rather than musubi kiri--alongside the other lyrics imply that rather than "a wish for something to only happen once," the song is expressing a wish for something to happen once more. "to regain the old bond that was lost" and "that we once lived together in this place" make it pretty clear what's being implied, i think.

and yet, kiri means to cut. it means to snip away that difficult-to-loosen knot. and the rest of that line is about shedding tears at a violent kindness, a kindness that must be performed no matter how difficult because. if you'll do anything to protect someone, you'll even use their corpse, your sensei's corpse, as a stepping stone.

and the irony is pretty clear here too. the wish for something to only have to occur once--but this isn't the first time gintoki has had to cut down takasugi, or lose shouyou. so naturally, the words are inverted. that hope was dashed. the whole arc is a bizarre rehashing of their past. but in that happening, there's also opportunity for a different kind of wish. whatever your thoughts are on the writing choices for the final arc, this song seems like a sincere dedication to the emotions therein...

so like. what the fuck is up with that

#takagin #gintaka #gintama #?????????????? why did they do this. to torment me i guess #IM JUST SAYING EVEN I TAKAGINNIE9000 would not use symbolism or language like marriage for them canonically???

[081314]

Idia Shroud (Vignette) – Glorious Masquerade Outfit

Following is my translation of Idia Shroud’s vignette from his Glorious Masquerade card.

Spoilers below the cut!

Part 1­­­­

Ortho: Big brother, isn’t it about time for you to start heading to the lecture hall?

Idia: Yeah. I got a message from Malleus-Shi and Azul-Shi a little while ago. Something about a meeting? They’re wanting to gather up all the people who got picked to go to the exchange event. I bet we’re just going to go over our groups for the field work or whatever. Don’t really see why I have to go. I’ll just send my tablet and join remotely.

Malleus: Well then, let’s start the meeting. We gathered you all here to discuss something very important. The truth is, we’d like to give a performance at the ball that’s going to be held during the exchange event.

Everyone: We’re going to… sing?

Idia: Wha- sing!?

Malleus: Correct. I’d like to express my thanks to everyone at Noble Bell College for inviting me to their event.

Azul: While our Diasomnia friends were all puzzling over how best to thank our hosts, I stopped by and advised we gift the Noble Bell College students with a song. We’ll be performing an old song that’s local to the City of Flowers. Lilia was kind enough to tell us about it, and it was actually pretty good when we listened to it.

Sebek: We’re doing this for Lord Malleus’s sake. To think, you humans are blessed enough to take part! Truly, there is no greater joy!

Riddle: He’s as boorish as ever… But really, that’s a great idea to bring them a gift. When intruding upon another’s domicile, it’s good manners for one to bring a present for the host, after all.

Jamil: A song from the City of Flowers, huh. That’ll be perfect. I’m sure the Noble Bell College students will be happy if we show our respect to their homeland like that.

Ruggie: For sure. There’s no reason we oughta spend any money just trying to rub shoulders with ‘em. Giving ‘em something for free should work out just fine.

Rook: What a wonderful idea! Please, do let us take part.

Malleus: I’m happy to hear how enthusiastic you all are. Three of us will be selected to be the main vocalists, and the rest of the group will be the backing chorus. We’ll start with selecting the main vocalists, then.

Idia: Hold it! It sounds like you guys are all just going along with this. This isn’t something to joke about. You want us to sing? On stage? In front of everyone?! It was bad enough I got chosen to go to the event in the first place, there is NO WAY I’m gonna sing. If the rest of you wanna do it, be my guest.

Malleus: Hmm. As I thought, we’ve got a voice of dissent.

Silver: No doubt, there will be some among us who know their singing skills are weak. But if we take the time to practice together, I’m sure we can all get through this. Everyone, I ask for your cooperation in this endeavor.

Deuce: What are you bowing your head for! All of us here were selected to be representatives of the school, right?

Epel:  That’s right! And I’ll be happy to help out!

Ruggie: We’ve all got our own reasons, but looks like everyone’s down for it. Everyone except for…

Idia: Uhhh…guys? Could you please stop, I can feel your glares coming through my tablet…. Don’t tell me I’m really the only one here who’s against this?

Azul: Idia, if you are so against our proposition, then perhaps you have an alternative to suggest?  Something that would take up less space in our luggage than a song does, that can sway the hearts of our audience better than a song can, and most importantly, is free!!! …Do you have something like that in mind?

Idia: Huh. About those backup chorus guys you were talking about, all they gotta do is stand behind the main vocalists, right? If that’s the case… Well, I could just lip synch and try not to stand out too much. Sounds like a better deal than trying to argue with you.

Malleus: Thank you for your understanding, Shroud.

Idia: Yeah, yeah. It’s super great that everyone’s so happy now. (I can’t believe they are seriously wanting to publicly humiliate themselves like this…)

Idia: I’ll just be over here watching, so you guys please go ahead and chose the main vocalists. Elect yourselves or nominate someone else, doesn’t matter. Just get it over with, please.

Malleus: About that…I was hoping to use a fair method, instead.

Idia: A fair...method? I feel like I’ve heard those words somewhere before… sometime recently.

Malleus: I’ve got with me the magical lottery box that the principal used to select the students who would attend the exchange event. We’ll use the same method to select 3 main vocalists out of the 11 of us here.

Azul: What a great idea! This way, it will be fair for everyone. Be it a dorm warden or a student, anyone has a chance of being selected now, without any bias involved.

Malleus: Indeed. I vow on my honor that whosoever is chosen, they will be chosen completely by random.

Idia: Oh, I’ve got a bad feeling about this… A really, really bad feeling!

Malleus: Let’s see, the first person that was chosen by this perfectly fair lottery is…

Idia: Waaaaaaait!!

Part 2

Idia: Why...Just why. I had only a 3/11 chance, a less than 30% chance of being chosen, and yet here I am. And how is it that Azul-Shi and Malleus-Shi won the lottery, too… All three of us are dorm wardens…. Isn’t something, like, way off here?? I demand a redo!

Ortho: Big brother… I was getting worried since you hadn’t come home from your rehearsal so I came to take a look. But I see you’ve just been clinging to that pillar and refusing to practice this whole time. If you keep making a fuss, you won’t be able to come home, you know.

Idia: Ortho! You came to get me?! Awesome. Come on, if we work together, I think we can bust ourselves outta here and go back to Ignihyde.

Ortho: Well, even if you ask me to do that, I’m afraid I can’t help you.

Idia: Huh?? Why?!

Ortho: It’s ‘cause I’d just love to see you sing in front of everybody! Wouldn’t it be great!

Idia: What on earth are you saying!?

Sebek: Listen up, human! How about you try learning a thing or two from Lord Malleus? He already possesses such a marvelous aptitude for singing, and yet he continues to diligently follow Lord Lilia’s instruction!

Silver: Azul has been practicing hard every day, as well. He was saying he wanted to circle back on the basics again, and after our practice ended a little while ago, he went to go inquire by the music teacher for assistance.

Idia: L-listen, I get those two are super passionate about the performance. But could you guys please stop trying to drag me into this?  I tried getting one of the other event participants to swap their spot for mine in the lineup, but they were all like “Oh, but then it wouldn’t be fair” and “Oh, but I don’t want to make Malleus angry…”. I got turned down left and right. So could you guys please give me a break?!

Sebek: For one to falter at a mere song like this… And you claim to be a mage?! It makes me wonder how you fare in your regular music classes. Music is essential for us to strengthen our imaginative skills.

Silver: If you want to become a skilled mage, I think it’s best you work on conquering that poor attitude you hold towards your singing abilities.

Idia: T-that’s really not the issue here…

Ortho: My older brother isn’t bad at singing, and he doesn’t hate it, either. When he’s in his room, he’s always belting out anime openings and video game theme songs!

Idia: Ortho, that’s not something you can just reveal to other people like that! Man, this is so embarrassing. Ugh, I’m gonna be up all night replaying this in my head.

Ortho: How come? You’re a really a good singer. And you know, I always thought it’d be a shame if I’m the only one who ever gets to hear you sing. ‘Cause your pitch is always right, and you’re really expressive. And I just really, really like your singing voice, big brother! That’s why I was so happy when I heard you got chosen to be one of the main vocalists. I think it’s wonderful.

Idia: Oh, Ortho…! Uh, I mean, that’s really nice of you to say and I’m happy to hear it but… I mean I’m super happy to hear it but I…

Silver: So, it’s not a matter of your abilities, it’s a matter of your shyness.

Idia: Y-yes! Exactly! There’s just no way I’m gonna be able to get up on stage and sing in front of all those people like that. You guys are asking me to do the impossible here.

Sebek: Have you no spine? Simply imagine that all the people around you, excluding our Lord, are naught but stone statues. You’ll be fine, then.

Idia: You know what, this super tall lump of rock has been trying to lecture me all day today. I’ll have to take your advice and just ignore him. Thanks!

Silver: Idia Senpai, allow me tell you about a certain secret technique. It will help with your singing.

Idia: Secret…technique?

Silver: Yes, allow me to demonstrate.

Ortho: Hmm, he’s got what looks like a glass filled with water. Nothing appears to be out of the ordinary, but…

Idia: I-is that to moisten up my throat or something?

Silver: Not quite. Look, you can see your reflection in the water. Don’t you just feel like there’s a song welling up inside you now?

Idia: Uhh, no???

Silver: My father told me about this method. He said it’s been passed down since the olden times. Using it has helped me out on numerous occasions.

Idia: What’s the point of looking at your reflection in the water? Makes no sense.

Sebek: I must agree with you there.

Silver: If the secret technique isn’t going to work out, then you’ve got no other choice but to just practice the old-fashioned way. I bet if you try to get used to singing in front of us here, you’ll gain the confidence to sing in front of everyone at the ball.   

Ortho: Silver-san is right, big brother! Come on, let’s practice and then we can go home.

Idia: Noooooooooo! No way! No how! I am NOT gonna sing.

Silver and Sebek: *sigh*

Part 3

Silver: Soon, we’ll arrive at the lecture hall. That’s where the ball is taking place.

Sebek: Silver and I are to ensure that you don’t try to abscond somewhere before the performance. We shan’t let you out of our sights!

Idia: Ugh. It’s getting closer and closer to showtime. Closer and closer and closer… Man, what a nightmare.

Idia: I am so done. There’s just no way I can do this. No way... And how do they even expect me to get up there and sing with these guys of all people?? They’re just oozing with confidence.

Sebek: What are you prattling about now? You really are a hopeless human.

Idia: Okay, so, how’s a song supposed to be a gift in the first place? You can’t just hand it over to them. You guys sure they’re actually going to like it? Malleus-shi and Azul-shi, and all the backing chorus guys have been practicing like there’s no tomorrow…. You all really think your singing is good enough to give to these people as a gift… You sure do think your voices are all that, huh. Sorry, but I just can’t be optimistic here.

Sebek: What on-

Idia: I certainly wouldn’t wanna ruin the party for everyone. Maybe I should just sit this one out, after all. No one’s going to notice if a single person is missing, anyways. Or you can just stick me in the back with the chorus guys and I’ll lip synch or whatever.

Sebek: We’ve already made it this far, and yet you continue with your petulant mewling!

Silver: That’s enough!

Idia: T-that bellow just now… That wasn’t Sebek-shi…That came from you, Silver-shi?

Silver: Idia Senpai, why must you continue to disparage yourself? There are times when harsh words can soothe the heart, but even if that’s so, you shouldn’t keep saying such negative things one after the other. Before long, everything you do, and even your future, it will all be swayed by your negative thoughts!

Idia: The heck? Why are you acting so serious all of a sudden... Wait, do you actually feel bad for me?!? Geez, of course I’m gonna be down in the dumps right now! Listen, I’ve been telling you all from day one that I’m not cut out for this, haven’t I?

Silver: No, I think that actually, deep down in your heart, you had wanted to sing together with all of us. Ever since you got chosen as a main vocalist, you’ve been practicing singing in your room every day, have you not?

Idia: H-h-how d-do you know that???

Sebek: When you weren’t around, Ortho came over to the Diasomnia dorm. He asked us if we could please place our faith in you, as you had been practicing diligently every day.

Idia: Ortho did that?

Silver: What’s important isn’t that our song is a big hit, it’s that we come together and give it our all. I’m sure you understand that as well, Idia Senpai. That’s why you’ve been practicing so hard. I just don’t understand why you are so adamant on throwing away all your hard work and giving up now.

Idia: ….

Silver: You’re surrounded by people who believe in you. Not just Ortho, but Lord Malleus and Azul, and all our friends from school. And me, too. So I ask of you, please don’t let us all down.

Idia: ….

Idia: You believe in me, huh. You know I really don’t know you guys all that well, but when you go and say something like that… Ah, what a pain in the neck.

Sebek: Hah, looks like you’ve decided to be complacent now. ‘Tis rare for Silver to speak at length like that. Onward, human. The ballroom is before us.

Idia: What is with him... He’s like those people who'll leave a wall of super serious text under a comment that was obviously just meant to be a joke….this is why Diasomnia is so scary…..

Idia: ….So you don’t want me to let you guys down, huh….

Malleus: Is everyone ready? Let’s give them a night they won’t soon forget, shall we?

Idia: Nooo, it’s starting…! This whole singing thing really isn’t in character for me. I know that better than anyone here. But…

(A flashback begins)

Sebek: When you weren’t around, Ortho came over to the Diasomnia dorm. He asked us if we could please place our faith in you, as you had been practicing diligently every day.

Silver: So I ask of you, please don’t let us all down.

(The flashback ends)

Idia: Auuuugh!

Malleus: Shroud, what’s the matter? You’re clutching your head, are you in pain? The song’s about to start.

Azul: Hurry up and fix your hat, it’s slipped a bit. It's too late to run away now.

Idia: I know, I know! Fine. I’ll give you guys a show, all right. Just watch.

(The show ends and confetti rains down from the ceiling)

Idia: Aaaah, it’s finally over. We pulled it off and sang for everyone at the ball. Surprisingly…it really wasn’t all that bad.

Silver: Idia Senpai.

Idia: W-wall of text man! W-w-what do you want? If you came to say “good job”, “congrats”, or “thank you”, I already heard enough of all that from the others, thanks. Or wait, did you want to complain to me some more??

Silver: It’s not that, I just came to talk. I don’t feel I expressed myself very well earlier. Please, excuse my rude comments. I had just wanted to encourage you for the performance, but it didn’t come out quite like how I’d wanted… Anyways, you gave a really wonderful performance. You conveyed yourself well through your singing, and I thought you had a pleasant, soft voice. Ortho was right, you really are a great singer.

Silver: Once we return to Night Raven College, I’ll be sure to tell Ortho all about your bravery and your exemplary work from today.

Idia: Ah, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Y-you don’t need to go out of your way to tell Ortho all that, I can talk to him myself.

Silver: Is that so? You both seem to be really close.

Idia: Yeah. There are so many things I want to tell him about once we get back… Like how the song was a big hit, and how I made it through the ball in one piece…and…and I’ll tell him how everything went even better than expected. I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear it.

#idia shroud #ortho shroud #silver #malleus draconia #sebek zigvolt #twst #twisted wonderland #my tl #azul ashengrotto #epel felmier #rook hunt #jamil viper #ruggie bucchi #deuce spade #riddle rosehearts #glorious masquerade #vignette #twst silver

[fightertown-usa]

as it was. (ii) ( bradley bradshaw "rooster" x reader )

( gif not mine )

bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem!reader

synopsis: in which things just aren’t the same, and it takes a life threatening accident to make rooster come to his senses and true feelings; in this part we get hangman singing abba so slay

word count: 2.3k

warnings: angst/fluff

note: song that was inspo was angel eyes bc abba slays, and bc i love angeleyes so yea. also head empty, just hangman jamming to abba completes me thank you. Also i was lazy and copy and pasted th lyrics forgive me pls. ALSO ATTN: this also features winter, my hangman x reader callsign. Does that make any sense? like for my hangman x reader, like for the dont keep me hanging the call sign for reader will be winter, and im bringing her in bc shes gonna be y/n’s rio. 

part one. part three - coming soon!

also i didnt check this for errors so bare w me pls

—

“you ready for some abba, hangman,” you said with a smirk on your face, to which hangman sighed, chuckling as he shook his head. little did most of your peers know that you and hangman had attended the naval academy around the same time, although he was a grade above you, you two had bumped into each other at a karaoke bar, and you were shocked to discover hangman had a weak spot for anything abba.

hangman looked up at you and grinned before heading over to where rooster sat at the piano. he brought his hands down on rooster’s shoulders, surprising him. “okay rooster, it’s time for some real music, he said with a shit eating grin before he shoved rooster aside, and scooted over on the piano bench, and patted the space next to him, to which you smugly walked over and sat down. you cracked your knuckles, as you looked over the ivory keys, before you heard phoenix shout over the crowd, “you gonna sing bagman?” she said mockingly, but simply shrugged before shoving your shoulder a little. “let’s put on a show dash,” he said, and even though you didn’t notice, rooster, who stood a little way from the piano, felt a burning coal of jealousy lodged in his stomach when he saw hangman call you by his nickname. not that you were his anyways. even if that’s all he’d thought about for the past few years, he knew you would never be his, and that you belonged to more important causes than his want and need for you. 

your fingers graciously began to start playing an all too familiar song to you and hangman, and you started. 

“last night, i was taking a walk along the–”

“river, and i saw him together–”

“with a young girl, and the look that he gave her made her–,”

“shiver, because he always used to look at me that way,”

“then I thought maybe I should walk right up to her and say

Ah-ha-ha, it's a game he likes to play,”

The two of you sang, initially trading off before heading into the chorus together, as the rest of the bar, recognizing the amazing abba song, joined in, as you all sang the chorus of angeleyes together, some of the other aviators recording, in awe that you actually got hangman to join you at the piano, and let alone, sing. even rooster, who was still burning with jealousy, was quietly humming along, bopping his head to the sound of your graceful voice blessing his ears. the two of you failed to notice a woman who walked into the bar, as soon as the two of you and the crowd began chanting, “i keep thinking about his angel eyes, i keep thinking, ah-ah-ah.”

“sometimes when I'm lonely, I sit and think about him

and it hurts to remember all the good times

when I thought I could never live without him

wnd I wonder does it have to be the same

Every time when I see him, will it bring back all the pain

Ah-ha-ha, how can I forget that name?”

you sang out, taking your solo diva moment, as you sang out the words. and for some reason, they resonated with you a little more than usual, as it took everything in you to focus on your hands playing the keys as you sang out. the truth was, you were scared that if you locked eyes with him, all the pain would flood back from before, and that you’d fall back into him. just as you and hangman were about to go back into the chorus with the rest of the bar, the woman who walked over, and slung both her arms around the two of you, joining in with you. you’d recognize that voice anywhere, as your voice sung out in glee as you realized winter was behind you. she had originally been a flier, like you and hangman before deciding to be an rio instead. you failed to notice that beside you, hangman had paused ever so slightly at the touch of the rio, but soon covered it up as he joined back in with the two of you, pushing the sensation of her fingers on his shoulders down, as he pretended like he wasn’t flustered by her touch. the three of you, along with the rest of the bar, kept shouting out the lyrics, until you all finished the song, which was followed by lots of cheers and pats on the back. 

you instantly jumped up from the bench as you turned to hug winter, who also happened to be your best friend. you guys pulled back from each other, before screaming in delight again, and embracing each other tightly. “guess who you’re looking at!” winter exclaimed, before adding on, “you’re new rio!!!” she screamed with joy, as the two of you screamed, jumping up and down like two teenage girls at a one direction concert, making your friends laugh at you. when the two of you finally separated, winter was grabbed by none other than hangman, as she made rounds with old colleagues and friends. you smiled warmly as you watched her, before you felt a pair of burning eyes on you. against your best judgement, you looked up, as you made eye contact with bradley bradshaw. your bradley bradshaw. or, what used to be of your bradley. 

“dash,” he called out, as he made his way over to you. 

“rooster,” you responded curtly, with a nod. 

before rooster could say anything to you, even if he’d wanted to, your attention was quickly grabbed by winter and phoenix, as they dragged you to play against hangman in another pool game. 

- - - - - - - - 

“we’re fucked,” winter said, causing the both of you to break out into laughter, as soon as the two of you made your way over to your plane, preparing yourselves for the worst of maverick’s training. “ye of so little faith winter! you really think i’ll let us get taken out by maverick, there’s no way. no way in hell you’ll catch me doing 200 pushups,” you said, little did you know you’d be cursing yourself in less than an hour. the two of you walked past rooster on the ground, as he was slightly into his 200 pushups. as soon as the two of you were out of earshot of him, winter poked you. 

“so, still holding back your undying love for rooster i see,” she said cooly, and you smacked her arm lightly, shaking your head. “no, im just fed up for him being a bitch to me,” you responded, trying not to flush by the fact she’d actually brought him up. you knew she was going to but part of you was on your knees begging her not to. “so, still head over heels for him,” she asked, 9a smirk on her face, but you were prepared this time. “hm, i’m pretty sure that’s you and hangman, but you know, say what you wanna say,” you said innocently, and this time it was winter’s turn to smack your arm, as the two of you reached your plane. “i have no idea what you’re talking about dasher,” winter replied, and you chuckled. “please, whenever he walks into the room, suddenly you’re all quiet and shy, which is very unlike you,” dasher said. 

“get in the damn plane,” winter replied, and you obliged. “still don’t get what you see in him, i bet he’ll abandon us as soon as the damn excercise starts, fuckin’ bagman,” you said, rolling your eyes as the two of you lined up to get off the ship. 

“so ladies, y’all ready to hand maverick’s ass to him?” hangman spoke up, and you chuckled. “you gonna leave us out to dry bagman?” you snarkily shot back, and you just knew he had a shit-eating grin on his face. “enough chatter, show me what you’re made of,” maverick came in, and you immediately attached your oxygen mask, before taking off. 

“talk to me winter,” you spoke, as you floated next to hangman. winter looked around, and soon she heard a beeping on her radar. “he’s close, but, he’s not above us,” “then he must be below us!” you exclaimed, as suddenly maverick whipped past the two jets, and you rolled your eyes as you watched hangman take off to the sky. 

“leaving your wingman, that’s a strategy i haven’t seen in a long time,” maverick commented. “typical bagman, you muttered, as you flew from maverick. “he called you a man, you girls gonna take that?” hangman inquired and you scoffed, “considering im gonna chop your balls off if we get off first, that would make us the men in this pair,” you retorted. “dasher on your six!” winter cried out, and you quickly flipped as maverick tried to close in on you. “shit, hangman this would be a really good time to save two damsels in distress!” you called out, “sorry ladies, it’s every man for himself out here,” he called out as maverick lasered the two of you. “fuck you hangman,” you called out, exhausted, as you ripped off your mask, shaking your head. “what a fucking douche,” was all you said, as winter sighed, before the both of you headed back to base. 

“dasher where is he,” hangman suddenly called out frantically. “i’m sorry, dasher can’t come to the phone right now, why? cause she’s fucking dead dipshit,” was all you said. “see you in the afterlife,” winter said quietly, and you laughed. “winter, grow a pair,” was all you said, as the two of you landed. she scoffed, as the two of you exited your plane, before you headed over to begin your 200 pushups. 

— 

you and winter sat, watching the screen as the two of you watched your plane get killed off by a sam. “why are you dead,” maverick asks, and you sigh. “someone couldn’t keep up,” hangman said cooly, a grin on his face, toothpick in between his teeth. “there goes my white picket fence dreams, you mutter,” and winter stifles a laugh beside you. suddenly, rooster butts in, much to your chagrin, as the two begin to banter, and you watch as maverick just stands there. whatever his beef with rooster was, he really needed to get over it. you groaned as soon as you heard hangman bring up rooster’s dad, and chaos naturally ensued. you and winter rushed over, as you both helped pull the boys away from each other. “winter, keep your boyfriend in check,” you said, as you pushed rooster away from him. you noticed how hangman had pushed everyone away but winter, as he allowed her hand on his chest to remain there, as he looked down at her, listening to her attempting to reprimand him. she shook her hand before she felt rooster move away from her, as he stormed out. phoenix gave you a look, and you raised your hands in surrender. “okay, i’ll do damage control,” was all you said as you quickly jogged after rooster. 

“rooster,” you called out, as you quickly caught up to him, but he didn’t turn. not again, you thought to yourself, as your heart quickly felt pinned down, so you tried again. “bradshaw,” you tried, no response. “god dammit bradley bradshaw i swear stop this instant,” you spat out, and he stopped in surprise, as he turned around, a look of fake fear and a glint of anger rimmed his eyes. “look, as much as i currently resent and as mad as it makes me that i have to be the one saying this to you, you can’t let him get to you,” you spoke, as you stepped up to face him, looking him straight in the eye. “don’t leave me flying with hangman, bradley. we need you. i need you,” you spoke softly, looking him straight in the eye as you watched the gears turn in his head. you reached out to grab his forearm, your eyes never leaving him. “you were the best in our class rooster, even better than little old me over here,” you said, offering him a smile, to which he returned with a ghost of a smile on his face. “you’ve always been better than me,” he muttered under his breath, but you still caught the words he said. “i think i’d remember being first in my class,” you said, before rooster suddenly shook your grip off of him, as he spoke so softly you barely caught what he said, before he stormed off again. “can’t believe after all these years i still want you to ask me to stay,” you said softly, as your eyes softened as you watched him walk off. you wished you could just cave and tell him you still had so much love in your heart for him, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. 

but all things aside, it wouldn’t be a plane crash that killed you. oh no, bradley bradshaw would be the death of you.

—

taglist link here

taglist: 

@n3ssm0nique @alluringshawn

#rooster x reader #hangman x reader #top gun x reader #topgun x reader #maverick x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #jake seresin x reader #top gun imagine #bob floyd x reader

[themanwhomadeamonster]

prefacing this by saying i love dd2's soundtrack and i have some of it downloaded on my phone already. but i recognise that it gets a lot of criticism (for good reason too imo) and i am going to explore why that is without trying to sound like a hater 😭 also slight spoilers because i talk about the end credits theme

tl;dr: main title screen theme fucks up perception of the rest of the soundtrack because it's so musically disconnected from everything else

i think the problem with dd2's soundtrack "lacking a (recognisable) leitmotif" isn't that there lacks a leitmotif because there's actually two main ones, both of which stem from the end credits song. this generally isn't a bad thing, though just one is usually standard, there are sets out there where more than one leitmotif is used. the thing is though, in dd2 most of the in-game soundtracks use variations of the chorus melody (cyclops, griffin, some story cinematics, etc.) and quite recognisably too imo which makes sense!, but the (main) title screen uses the melody from the verses.

(side note: before anyone argues that even the chorus leitmotif isn't present in the generic combat soundtracks either, that wasn't the case for dd1/da either (except for the low intensity dd1 combat track) so i think dd2 can be excused on that front. i also think it's good that they didn't use it everywhere in either game because it would get annoying very quickly)

nobody remembers the theme of the dd2 title screen (don't lie, i don't either and i had to crank my brain to recall it when writing this) because you barely hear its leitmotif in-game until the very end during a handful of cinematic cutscenes. i think even the trailer music uses the chorus melody. so you have two competing leitmotifs, and on top of that, the one which SHOULD be memorable because it's the title screen theme is actually very rarely heard in-game. you wouldn't piece this together until the end of the game, AND that's if you even stick around for the credits to let it play!

in ddda, the title screen theme already plays in the first cassardis cinematic AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME, in a scene that was emotionally significant early on. those who hand down the story as an ending medley works because it's of two already strongly established themes (cassardis + eternal return). this didn't work with dd2's end credits theme because the two leitmotifs were not established as cohesively by that point. dd2's chosen leitmotifs should've recurred more regularly and in emotionally significant points in the game - even melve by itself and not anywhere else until the end would've been a good opportunity to use the verse motif because it's at the start of the game to hook the player + let them be able to connect it to the main theme, and it also lines up with the end credit's verse's lyrics

so musically i think the dd2 soundtrack is fine. catchy enough and imo memorable that it's an earworm. though i miss the rock/jazz/flamenco elements from the first game, the theme of dd2 as being very high fantasy instead of classic medieval low makes the folk/orchestra/occasional dungeon synth hybrid an appropriate choice to me, and this proves itself as a strength imo in its ambience. the lowkey ethereal dungeon synth of seafloor shrine and ancient battleground soundtracks + post-game ambience is atmospherically amazing. on top of that, i think its identity this time around lies more strongly in the folk instruments style for both vermundian/battahli ambience/combat music, which establishes the high fantasy folk vibe strongly.

unfortunately, the title theme does not reflect this at all LOL being a purely orchestral arrangement only - no folk instruments. into free was weirdly jpop but at least the rock elements did have some place in the soundtrack. as a COHESIVE soundtrack, it sounds very confused with its direction and that in itself is understandably more than enough to fundamentally turn off fans despite the positives. ultimately i think its musical identity would be stronger if the main title theme was changed tbh 😐 (and it did later, but by then it's too late + it only matches post-game vibes not the other 90% of the game). there's a thematic disconnect (conflicting theme/leitmotif until the end credits) as well as stylistic one (in-game folk music vs classic orchestra) which skews expectations of the rest of the soundtrack

additionally, i think due to the wack difficulty scaling - somehow worse than dd1 RIP, the side effect is that we end up hearing the low intensity soundtracks for most of the game and further ng+'s which of course are meant to sound less complex in comparison, which further perpetuates the weak soundtrack perception

#i do appreciate the variations on the eternal return leitmotif in the vermund and cave ambience tracks that's a nice easter egg #i wrote this at 5am sorry if im not clear ahdjsndn #but yeah....... oof the music in this game is so ?¿?¿?¿ #dragon's dogma #dragon's dogma 2 #dd2 #dd2 spoilers

[perlukafarinn]

This has been done a million times before and no one asked but I decided to rank the songs from Nerdy Prudes Must Die.

Let's go Nighthawks!

15. Cool As I Think I Am

I actually do love this song but when I listen to the full album, it’s one of only two songs I sometimes skip. The sound of it is very sweet, just like Pete, and it’s a great song to establish his character and his conflict in stepping outside his set social role (also props for originating the “I’m not a loser” refrain that repeats several times throughout the show to great effect). It’s just maybe not as exciting as the rest of the songs on the list.

14. Bully the Bully

Very catchy and fun, and the “cool beans” verse holds a special place in my heart (as do Grace’s little spins). Half the fun of it are the (very cute) dance moves which makes this song a little less effective when just listening to it. I love the guitar riffs and hearing all the nerds teaming up and happy for the only scene in the entire show.

13. Bury the Bully

I don’t usually prefer the shorter reprise but this song is too unhinged for me not to love it. Some highlights: Grace’s immediate acceptance of the situation and detailed knowledge in disposing of a body (and the casual “how else he gonna fit?” like she’s not suggesting something absolutely psychotic), “oh god, she’s snapping again”, Ruth coming around faster than the rest of the nerds because she’s apparently only slightly less unhinged than Grace, the discordant slamming on the piano keys after every “hack all his limbs off”.

12. Dirty Dudes Must Die

Would be much higher if only it were longer. This was the heel-face turn I was waiting for and Angela absolutely kills it, the deranged energy is off the charts. Grace singing “who will pray for you” and pointing at the audience gives me chills as does that final “run”. It feels like another story is just beginning.

11. Go Go Nighthawks!

I love all the sounds in this song - the beats that sound like lockers closing, the school band drums and trumpets, the jocks grunting and the “caw caws” from the cheerleaders. They add so much and convey such a strong sense of the setting, a must for a show that doesn’t really have any sets lmao. Also, fuck Clivesdale!

10. The Best of You

This song is just super cute and it makes me happy to listen to - Lautski own my entire heart, I can’t help it. Many have pointed out the Disney channel sound of it but it also reminds me a lot like those mid 2000s pop punk British boybands (think McFly and Busted) and I think that was deliberate with the British accent Joey and Mariah put on a couple of the lines. Anyway, I love how overwhelmingly bright and happy this song sounds, because it almost rounds back to sinister as you just know this can’t be the end of the show - we don’t get endings this happy in Hatchetfield!

9. Just For Once

This is the other song I sometimes skip but only because it’s five minutes long and such a character piece that I’m not always in the mood for it. Lauren blows me away with her ability to perform in character. That switch from Ruth’s amateur acting in the verses to the more sincere chorus is so beautiful. And that ending, oof. “I used to dance”, gets me every time.

8. Hatchet Town

I love a good mob song and this is an all time favorite for me. The Hatchetverse has been successful in establishing a multitude of interesting side characters that make the world feel lived in and that really pays off here; the song works if you don’t know most of the characters but it’s so much better if you do. 

This is the first scene in the show that expands the story outside the school and the characters there, and it makes the danger feel all the more pressing, especially with how frantic and sinister it sounds. It’s also endlessly quotable; in a way, aren’t we all Dan Reynolds (with Action News, weekdays at 10 PM)?

7. Dirty Girl

Seems like I’m a much bigger fan of this song than many but I could never resist a musical theater song about sex. I love how weird and gross this song is while also containing some masterful lyrics. I love this bizarre look at sex through Grace’s warped, sheltered worldview. Most of all, I love that this is the first time we hear the line “will you pray for me” in the show and every time it appears after it’s in a wildly different context.

6. Cool As I Think I Am (Reprise) 

This song makes me cry and I’m not afraid to admit it. It's the way Pete starts the song being so brave and so gentle as he convinces Steph to make an impossible choice, how they come together in the middle of it, finally completely honest with each other about their feelings, and how at the end the song slows as they’re both overwhelmed by the tragedy of the situation. “I’d have to let you go” let me go curl up and cry for a week, maybe.

5. High School Is Killing Me

A killer intro (heh). This is how you set the mood for a show! The slow start with Richie and Ruth is perfect and then the beat kicks in and I ascend to a higher level. A really strong aspect of the songs in this show are the harmonies and we get some incredible ones here - they sound so good together. This may also be the catchiest song on the soundtrack.

4. The Summoning

Oh my god this song!! First the intro with the chant, the trio’s bright voices underscored by the creepy whispers in the background, and then the descent into immediate chaos as soon as the Lords enter. I guess this is more of a “theatrical” song in that it’s not really something you listen to out of context of the musical but it works so incredibly well in context. Hearing all five of the lords together and taunting our protagonists is so insanely good. And I love how this song works musically, too, with the guitars and drums in the louder parts almost battling it out with the piano in the slower parts. Jeff Blim really popped off with this one.

3. Literal Monster

God, the foreboding atmosphere in this song is unmatched. The incredible build-up to our antagonist, managing to make a believable threat out of a cliched high school bully. Kim Whalen belting “He roars, and we cry” lives rent free in my mind. And then Will Branner shows up and lives up to every single expectation instantly. 

2. Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Extremely basic opinion to think this song is great (the real unpopular take might be that it’s only number two) but what do you want me to say? That the similarities to the Halloween theme don’t make me wanna clap my hands with glee? That the music and lyrics don’t both absolutely slap? (“Will you pray for me” I will give you my entire life actually) That Jon Matteson belting “I’m not a loser” might not be the single greatest moment in the entire show? This is why they invented musical theater. I will take no further questions.

1. If I Loved You

Look I am Lautski trash, I will fully admit that, but this song is also just a bop. It’s the most fun song in the show to sing along to, by a mile. It is young, stubborn love boiled down to its most entertaining bits. It is two people almost coming together but missing each other by a hair and that hair is having too much pride to be the first to admit you’ve got a crush. This song has drama, it has fun, it has two characters vehemently denying their feelings for each other while insisting the other only deserves the best. “Don’t need a lover boy, need a lover man” marry me, Mariah Rose. How about that? Also, Joey Richter’s improvement as a singer has been severely underappreciated and this song shows his voice off perfectly. 

I am ranting but that’s because I cannot coherently express how much I love this song. In a soundtrack filled with nothing but hits, this one hits me right in the heart. 

#nerdy prudes must die #npmd #starkid #found this in my google docs #i wrote it like two months ago and i don't remember why i didn't post it then #i'm not 100% sure i still fuck with this ranking but it's close enough that i don't feel like changing it

[stonyponyofficial]

oh shit? whats that skanking this way? are those some more summer songs? are those some summer songs spliced seamlessly alongside some ska since Skaugust started? seems interesting, maybe u should pick em up and take a listen if u get the chance... might be the rudest sounds of the SKAmmer...

🎺spotify link ⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜ yt link🎺

notes on each ⬜⬛⬜⬛⬜⬛ below the cut :3

Remember Summer Days - Anri: my city pop kick has not ended as you will continue to see. its the kinda shit that makes me wanna be taken on a warm evening drive. yeahh bitch i control the music and im not even driving >:3 sorry. umm also the horns make the song fit our skankin tone this time around so very well. they are like sisters <3

Car Song - Danny L Harle, MC Boing - speaking of drives! if, say, you are ever driving in a car, or perhaps playing music in a car this would be the track to signal to those around u that u are doing those things. i just love mc boing also. so much dumb hype that i cant help but follow his lead and bounce along. check out his like three other songs if u get the changce soun

Death Grips is Online - Death Grips: i was looking at my 'summer rewind' on spotify and this was apparently a death grips song i had listened to a lot a few years ago just without getting into any more death grips after that? it makes sense tho i was listening to a lot of igor of tyler the creator fame around that time. i was probably like ooooh this has that hard cunchy igor bass i like. and was like 😂 what the heck is the rest of their stuff tho seriously tihs is craazy 😂. probably is how i was like back then. tch. fool.

Flaunt It/Cheap - Rae Sremmurd: amen break waveform tattooed on my forehead running up to u voice HEY U SHOULD LISTEN TO THIS SONG THEY. HEY> THEY RAP OVER AN AMEN BREAK ITS GOOD. okay thats misleading they only do that for a bit but after that the flow is very amen break inspired..but then beat switch thats still very good i love a good beat switch and all.... i just wish he kept spitting over that pure amen break sample. paws in pockets kicking the dirt as i walk away.....

Helium - Ecco2k (Drain Gang Archives): comes back excitedly to talk about draing gang ^w^. this time around our drain gang entrance is actually a bootleg posted by a drain gang leak aggregator on spotify. in case u were wonering this is probably the best of those unreleased/leaked songs ........... ecco's voice fits this song so well with all his falsetto stuff (get it it's like helihey it's like a helium balloon get it his voice it's hifh) but he also does that on his other songs bc he's a beautiful angel. GOd and his pouty fucking sighs in the chorus god i just wann[

Merlin's Staff - Ski Mask The Slump God: as i posted about before i love me some ski mask :) i hadnt listened to a lot of his new stuff until i watched his most recent interview with nardwuar. it is from here that i found this song bc ski mask references nardy on the track. HOWEVER. i would be remiss if i did not talk about my favorite lyric from this song that ive refrained from just posting as is. makes me GIGGLE every goddamn time.

"On the go like Mario, drive in a kart

Lisa Simpson, her head sharp"

now he does bring this back around to be a joke about her "giving brain" but just that line alone with the cadence gets stuck in my head. Li. sa. Simp. son. Her. Head. Sharp.

Morning Bell - Radiohead: speaking of... head? been catching up with ol mr. head recently on account of people i know whose music opinions i trust liking his tunes a lot (hai :3) this is My preferred morning bell btw.... for u music perverts out there who wanna know (hai :3) .... the drum groove is irresistible and the piano feels so cooold. cmon its in 5/4.... like im sorry to those whom i may have disappointed i do like amnesiac morning bell it feels a lot eerier.. yet brighter with all the bells? and the 'release me's in that one are very pretty but. kid a morning bell 👍

your clothes - Jane Remover: still havent listened to new jane BUT i have gone back to revisit old stuff i hadnt listened to in a while. upon listening to this one i was reminded Wow! Jane just doesn't miss! so congrats to Jane the Remover on being the only artist to have never left some songs thus far. may ur reign be long.

Last Summer Whisper - Anri: i leave you with this. the last whisper of summer. the last whisper of my city pop kick. the last whisper of some songs until fall right guys? do u guys hear a train?

⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️

⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️⬜️⬛️

Train to Skaville (Live) - The Selecter: ALLLLLLLLL ABOOOOOOOAAAARRRD. THIS TRAIN. IS BOUND. FOR. SKAVILLE!!!!!!!!! wait oh shit i can't leave yet i have a train to catch 😳someone made a joke to me last year about this song (i believe it was in September they said 'the train to skaville has left the station') and i straight up didnt get it at the time bc i was kind of a poser skahead when i made my skaugust post eheh nervous laughs bc i pretended to know it in that post ehehe ^^ . i do believe in ska fans beliefs (that ska is good, and anticapitalism probably) i just didnt know much about it besides like stupid horse did it that one time and that post about a kid getting an extra mozz stick.. anyway fast forward one year this fucking song is the idle music in my head. i pretend to be that funky ass bass on this song a lot too hehe. there are MANT live versions of this song on yt so i chose the most fitting one for the playlist but the one ive been listening to is the spotify one -w-

Superman - Goldfinger - this is the archetypal ska song to me. and u know why. that fucking post about that kid getting an extra mozzarella stick and ska plays in his head. from uo there ^. this is the song on that post. this is like capital s Ska to me. u know how people associate dnb with really slick games u grind on rails and skate/snowboard in. make the main character 12 and sucking ass on his first shitty skateboard rolling around his neighborhood and the soundtrack is now ska. only this song actually. it is good tho is the important thing

Never Meant - Skatune Network, JER:

.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - Skatune Network, JER:

.

Come on Eileen - Save Ferris:

.

Take On Me - Reel Big Fish: what can i say im a sucker for a ska cover? SKA-ver. heh so true

Old SKrAp - Jeff Rosenstock: i believe jeff rosenstock has done other things which i will get to eventually like all things but i know him specifically for having made an album called No Dream (that i... havent listened to :/) which released in 2020 (05/20 specifically). and then.. on 04/20 of 2021 (!!!!!!!!!!! WEEED WEED ITS WEED) he released Ska Dream, which, of course, is a complete reworking of No Dream but to be Ska instead. the original title of this song is Old Crap which they still sing in the song i just love how they put SKA into the title. all of them are like this btw.

stupid horse - 100 gecs: the OG. also s/o aimkid amv. s/o all aimkid amvs but thats beside the point. there was a point in 100 gecstory that there were maybe only a few interviews they did after 1000 gecs and ofc not many live performance videos besides minecraft festival screen recordings and maybe one video of a show from the secret tour. but there was an interview from skullcandy of all places with an accompanying live performance of stupid horse that i rewatched sevreal times :) ......... i thought the neon green and yellow set pieces and outfits were cool ok??? anyway fucking stupid horse yeah a swordfish dancer spend my money on a fishnet carousel go go go go goin so fast now go go go go goin so fast now.

Frog On The Floor - 100 gecs: and then they did it again :)

I Got My Tooth Removed - 100 gecs: and did it again :)

Two-By-Four-And-A-Half - Thee Goblins: as i said before ive been narding it up recently with some nardwuar interviews. my favorite thing about him is his elusiveness as like. a guy who does things besides being nardwuar. and my favorite story about him doing other things is that on his quest to interviewing kurt cobain, he tried talking to dave grohl and somehow dave recognized nardwuar from a band he's in (this band Thee Goblins :3). but the band wears masks when they perform so u cant see its nardwuar. and he still knew it was him without the mask and i guess felt enough respect for nardwuar in that moment to decide to get him an in with kurt, which did come to fruition BTW. anyway this song is a SKA SONG by NARDWUAR himself.... this isn't on the yt playlist unfortch but there is a good video of the nardman himself and others as thee goblins.

Ska Sucks - Big D and the Kids Table: found this one while just ska-ouring ska-tify for more ska. and idk theres just something in a good subversive title (and lyrics if u venture to take a listen >w< ).anyway this ska doesn't suck its quite good actually :) this is a theme in ska if u could not tell. being quite good not sucking. sorry if that was unclear.

yyyaWWWn ummmmmmmn.. okay This is ewher i leave u.. with all the skanking ive been doing i believe ive kicked up a month long ska storm... but i hear there are some pretty rude winds forecasted to come in later today so oerhaps keep ur ears to the wind on that front 😳... um anyway peels off in my car i am sooooo licensed to operate leaving u behind with this helpful guidento steer your path. and this, thjs last SKA-mmer whisper, is how ill leave u until fall music fans :3 <3

#violet originals #some songs #sorry im parenthesis girl #and also 'it's a good song' sorry im a lover and a sweetie :3

[beautifulpersonpeach]

As promised here, I'm continuing a series of posts on NewJeans and why I think the group holds real potential. What I want to briefly talk about this time, is the quality of their music.

Credit: @/haerin1sta

*

Not exactly sure how this is going to come across, but the truth is very few groups in k-pop give me a quality sonic experience. I mean, for a lot of groups, I get no joy from playing them out loud in my space. BTS is one group where the music is so dynamic, textured and layered... I know this probably sounds pretentious, but BTS's music is the perfect blend of cohesive + complex + simple to suit my taste. I enjoy sitting back in my living room, dimming the lights and drawing the blinds, to hear Dis-ease play over my Bowers & Wilkins 800 D4 speakers. It feels like an actual pleasure. I get this with BTS, nearly every time. There's a handful of other groups whose songs I sometimes feel this way about, but there's been no other group that consistently gets me this way lately more than NewJeans.

At least I'm pretty sure there's no other group that gets me to break out a subwoofer more than NewJeans, after BTS.

All their songs have such a deep and rich bass.

It's almost sickening. Listen, k-pop has done R&B for years. The sound isn't new to the industry by any means, but the way NewJeans does R&B you can tell whoever makes their shit, cette personne a eu le cœur brisé par une personne noire.

Take for example a song like ASAP. That moment the bass comes in at 0:40, during the chorus - it sounds heavenly on my speakers. The whole song feels kinda magical and odd, like Christmas in July, and I suspect one reason why is the chord progression which I recognize to follow that of many Christmas hymns... and the deep heavy bass.

You might not hear it right in this clip because of how Youtube compresses their sound, but I think one can still tell the pitch shifts slightly. The tweaky game-beat percussion that fills up the rest of the song feels disorienting but that's also the point. By the time the second chorus comes in, the contrast it creates feels like you're diving into a pool of cool water on a hot day. It's so good. It's like that weird genre-mix thing SM likes to do in their songs, but with NewJeans it's so much more effortless, weirder, and cooler.

*

This is Minji.

*

This is Danielle.

*

This is Haerin.

*

This is Hyein.

*

This is Hanni.

*

All five girls have clean, clear vocals and very distinct vocal colours. One reason their music is so good, is because all their songs put an emphasis on their vocals. For example, listen to the pulled stems for Hurt.

The first 2 minutes and 50 seconds is pure acappella heaven, and then you realize it's placed in the center. The mix is so full and centered, it's perfect. The other stems in the video from 2:50 too are such a delight to listen to.

The sense of easy excellence is everywhere in NewJeans' sound and concept. They don't need to force anything, they don't need crazy ornamental riffs, or ridiculous beat switches to capture and hold attention. All the harmonizing that needs to be done is already in the music. It's simple and for that reason, good. Hurt for example is just a well made song.

It's so fun to play in the car. It sounds like a joint Andre 3000 would produce.

Another song that absolutely blows me away when I play it, is Cookie. Can you even try to imagine what the intro on Cookie sounds like with subwoofers?

It's mad.

*

Ador encourages the girls to fully participate in several aspects, from songwriting (the members have been writing their songs since debut and 4 out of 5 members are credited on their songs so far), to making their choreography, to applying their ideas towards their marketing. It's really remarkable for a rookie group, but I also feel this is a culture HYBE has been trying to create at all their sub-labels.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to more music from NewJeans. Get Up was a solid treat - my ranking of the songs on it so far:

New Jeans

Cool with You & Get Up

ASAP

ETA

Super Shy

*

(Haerin - dancer and vocalist)

*

(Danielle - dancer and vocalist)

*

(Hyein - dancer, vocalist, and maknae)

*

(Hanni - dancer and vocalist)

*

(Minji - dancer and vocalist)

*

(I don't have a bias in NewJeans. And that's the first sign for me that this is a solid group.)

#Do y'all think I should continue with this series? #If so please let me know either with a reply DM or ask #newjeans #minji #hanni #hyein #danielle #haerin #ador #hybe #bts #bpp music posts #kpop #kpop music #kpop industry #Youtube

[greatwyrmgold]

A Thematic Analysis of Starship Velociraptor

Those familiar with Galactikraken's debut album might think thematic analysis of Starship Velociraptor is pointless. Its songs are quite obviously about whatever the band members thought was rad, and I won't disagree with that conclusion.

But that conclusion is incomplete. I've listened to most of the album over and over, and there are patterns in what Galactikraken considers rad. There are three recurring points that I'd like to draw attention to: Anti-authoritarianism, wealth, and piracy.

A couple quick points. First, I will use "Galactikraken" to refer to the metaphorical narrator of these songs and the collective voice of Johnathan Young and his band members. Second, I'm mostly discussing the songs, and will bring up the animated music videos when they compliment or contrast the songs' narrative in some interesting way.

Now, let's start where the album does.

Glory or Gold

What's rad? Piracy Pirates mentioned? Obviously

Appropriately, the first song in the album clearly establishes its primary themes and focuses on the recurring motif of piracy. Its chorus clarifies the thesis:

So hoist up the Jolly Roger, we're taking a ride. Take back the life that they denied. For glory or gold, we sail across the galaxy, Our sovereign starship flying free. Forever, our treasure taken from plutocracy. We've all got mouths to fuckin' feed. So it's a pirate's life for me!

Relevant conjecture: Any sentence containing a word ending with either "-archy" or "-cracy" will make a political statement.

In this case, Galactikraken seems critical of plutocracy. They don't adopt a pirate's life because they want to be rich and famous; they do it because their lives were denied by the wealthy elites, and they still have mouths to feed.

Verse 1 hones this criticism beyond the vague concept of plutocracy to what I can only call capitalism.

All of my crew and I are wanted for the highest form of treason: For questioning authority demanding we sweat and bleed and slave our lives away, then call it freedom.

I don't know what Galactikraken's real-world political beliefs are. But I know what they wrote, and this? Profiting off the sweat and blood of an underclass, and claiming that that underclass is free? That's capitalism, baby.

"Glory or Gold" isn't a detailed or nuanced critique of capitalism; it's a sail-by broadside against its worst excesses. But it's there, and it's worth examining. Practically every line of this song is condemning the "plutocracy," holding it responsible for everything that drove them to piracy.

I also feel it's worth pointing out that this song mixes "authority," "plutocracy," and "the crown". Part of this is presumably because those lines sound good with those specific words, but it also means that we can't assume every king in one of these songs is a literal king. That's just how symbolism works—especially in music, where the words you use are limited by rhyme, meter, and whether the word's sounds sound good with the other songs in that line.

Best Band in the Universe

What's rad? Music, hubris, profanity Pirates mentioned? Only if you assume all songs in the album are about the same group of pirates, in which case pirates are mentioned in all songs

I don't have much to say about this song, because I personally don't like it, because of reasons that are completely irrelevant to this post.

What is relevant to this post is that one of the reasons Galactikraken declares itself "super cool" is that they "break the rules". That anti-authoritarian streak is present.

Settle it With a Swordfight

What's rad? Swordfights, especially ideological ones Pirates mentioned? Yes

This song is the second-most-obvious example of Galactikraken just writing songs about cool stuff. Which isn't a criticism, it's a statement of fact. I like "Settle it With a Swordfight," but beyond being cool, it's kinda dissonant with the rest of the album.

Well, if you roll with us and you’re not seeing eye to eye, A problem on the crew you know that words just won’t revise. When there’s nothing left to say, you’ve got to let your blade reply. Someone’s gonna die. (Settle it with a swordfight!) If we can’t tell just who’s right, (Settle it with a swordfight!)

Anyone who watches shonen anime knows the kind of fight this song is about. Two characters disagree, and they come to blows over it. The resulting fight challenges both characters' conviction and ideals as much as it challenges their strength and skill. It's undeniably cool!

It's also pretty much the only time a song in Starship Velociraptor praises violence against pirates. And it's absolutely praised, "Cold steel can justify your sins" and all that. Other songs in the album praise violence of various kinds, but violence against authorities, not fellow pirates.

Hyperspeed

What's rad? Speed, starships Pirates mentioned? No

This song is pretty straightforward. The first line tells you what to expect:

The only thing that gets me high is going faster than the light.

There are some love-song undertones in there, but this is mostly a song about going fast and why going fast is cool.

If you sail away with me, we'd escape reality. So accelerate in one, two, three!

Speed and flight are common symbols for freedom, a theme which is pretty prominent in this album. "Hyperspeed" fits this reading like a glove, and its music video even more so. (In my opinion, "Hyperspeed"'s music video fits it better than any of the other animated music videos.)

Army of Tigers

What's rad? Tigers, armies Pirates mentioned? No

"Army of Tigers" poses a bit of a problem for this analysis.

On one hand, the tiger general attacking the Sun could be symbolic. The Sun might represent an unjust authority, a world order most people see as natural and benevolent, even as it "sends us cataclysmic cancers" and stuff.

On the other hand...

Quench the final fire, extinguish heaven's light! I command an army of tigers. Defeat the Sun tonight!

That's a hell of a chorus, and that might be reason enough for Galactikraken to assault that castle in the void.

Storm the Castle

What's rad? Regicide Pirates mentioned? Not really

We will not be prisoners in a kingdom taken hostage by her crown.

Is a kingdom really mighty when for a sick and starving child it doesn’t care?

Storm the castle, kill the king!

Even if the word "monarchy" isn't technically used here, my prior conjecture seems pretty relevant. Whatever the king represents, Galactikraken hates it. And we've talked about how fluid symbolism can be.

But why does Galactikraken want to kill the king? I'd quote relevant lines, but that's like half the song. The king deserves death because of how the kingdom suffers under his rule. He says that he's protecting the kingdom, when he's the greatest threat to the people.

The hypocrisy is part of the problem, but for the most part "Storm the Castle" focuses on the "countrymen...drowning in despair". The king isn't bad because of some abstract notion of freedom, or because he's an ugly pig monster, or even because he's a liar. He's bad because his wealth starves the common people.

(Which is part of why I think "Storm the Castle" has the worst animated music video. It focuses on the cruelty of the wolves and the malice of the secret pig demon thing, making the evil more individualized and less systemic. Yeah, the fat pig monster in throne armor makes a cooler fight scene than a cowering aristocrat surrounded by elite guards, but trying to make that part cool undermines the song the video is supposed to support!)

Anyways. The song is literally a call to action, albeit against a fictional/allegorical king. The peasantry (proletariat) need to put aside their petty concerns and unite against the crown (against authority, against plutocracy). This isn't just a matter of political philosophy; we've all got mouths to fucking feed.

The obvious thematic resonance between "Storm the Castle" and "Glory or Gold" is the whole reason this post exists.

Starship Velociraptor

What's rad? Luxury starships Pirates mentioned? Surprisingly not

This song is the most obvious example of Galactikraken just writing songs about cool stuff. Which isn't a criticism, but it's absolutely impossible to ignore after writing about symbolic regicide.

To be balanced: "Starship Velociraptor" is, in part, expressing the same kind of fantasy as "Hyperspeed". The fantasy of zooming around the galaxy in a super-fast starship is a key part of the song.

But the titular starship has comfort, speed, and style; moreover, comfort gets more focus than speed and style more than comfort. The starship isn't "the finest ship in the galaxy" because it's practical, but because it's opulent.

Practically every description we get of the starship focuses on pointless opulence. "Hardwood floors instead of tile," "leather seats," "a fridge that's full of meat," "that holographic suite". Sure, that stuff was written because it rhymes, but most of it rhymes with itself. Galactikraken picked a bunch of cool-sounding stuff that rhymes to describe their cool starship, and most of that stuff is opulence.

I don't want to shame anyone for wanting opulent stuff, but the focus on opulence is remarkable, considering most of the album's more negative perspective on wealth.

His keep ship could shelter hundreds, His gold meat could feed far more. I have just one last question: What are you waiting for?!

It would be one thing if the song was about a bunch of pirates stealing some plutocrat's yacht from under his nose and using it as their flagship, but it's not. It's basically a car ad?

You've got to get it You can buy on credit Our payment plan, you won't regret it, yeah

The song feels deeply consumerist, like an ad manufacturing desire for pointless luxuries. And this consumerism is played straight. I don't like "Best Band in the Universe," but I recognize that Galactikraken was trying to make its hubris the butt of the joke. I don't get that sense from "Starship Velociraptor". It's just an earnest luxury car ad.

The music video is a bit different—perhaps the biggest gap between music and video on the album. Part of that is aesthetic; the animated starship looks practical, tile floors instead of hardwood. But it also plays up the escapism potential of a starship.

Part of this is because the video's central character is an ordinary Earthling who literally escapes her boring office job to board the starship, but part of it is because we see the starship doing stuff. We spend some time focusing on the interior, matching the lyrics; most of the rest of the video is focused on 90's sci-fi anime action. The starship zooms through space, it gets into battles, the central character hangs out with space people on and off the ship. The animation focuses less on the starship as an object than as a place where cool things happen.

Man the Cannons

What's rad? Wooden ships and iron men Pirates mentioned? Kinda

I mean, pirates and pirate iconography aren't mentioned, but who else on the high seas has cannons and swords and boarding actions? Marines, I guess, but that doesn't fit the treasure focus or the anti-authority vibes of the rest of the album.

Anyways. "Man the Cannons" doesn't introduce much new thematic stuff. Ambiguous piracy as a path to freedom, rad treasure, rad swordfights, teamwork makes the dreamwork. ("And if we band together, so it shall be.") And anti-authoritarianism, of course!

Defying law and nation, defying god and king. Through trial and tribulation, we smile and sing.

It works, I don't dislike the song, but after going through most of the album, I have nothing new to say about this song.

Jetpack Race

What's rad? Jetpacks, flight, escapism Pirates mentioned?

You know how I've talked about speed and flight being symbols of freedom? This song all but turns that into text.

A cog in some machine, you're chasing after dopamine, you wish that you could find a way to fly

Despite the upbeat melody and tempo, "Jetpack Race" has the second-bleakest lyrics of any song in Starship Velociraptor. The verses and half of the chorus are talking about the dreary mundane life that the jetpack races are supposed to let you escape from!

You didn't ask for this, but ignorance is bliss. You wish that you were just content to be a drone. You know we're all the same, the world's a joke and life's a game, And even all together, we're alone.

It's easy to miss behind the three-digit BPM and C♯ major key, but that's cynical. Especially that last line, which asserts that the solidarity praised in the rest of the song is an illusion.

For me, the most meaningful line is "Running a race that can't be won, you'll feel like you came in last." The ordinary life that Authority wants you to live is a scam that can't be run, that does its best to make you feel responsible for your failures, no matter how untrue that is. That's why we hoist up the Jolly Roger...or put on a jetpack, I guess.

10,000 Light Years

What's rad? I dunno, pining? Pirates mentioned? Via synonyms like "outlaw" and "privateer". (Bah, privateers are pirate sell-outs.)

If "Hyperspeed" is a spaceship song with love song undertones, "10,000 Light Years" is a love song with spaceship undertones. Being aromantic, I do not understand why all y'all allos would like being lonely and wishing you weren't light-millennia from the stranger you got a crush on.

But I do understand themes, and some of the familiar ones pop up through the romantic(?) longing. Like the bit where Galactikraken mentions "sign[ing] my life away off-world". Ultimately, the conflict in this song is caused by the same thing as in most Starship Velociraptor songs.

Our own enemy within, drowning us in despair. The crown, authority, plutocracy. The forces demanding that we sweat and bleed, then call it freedom.

It's also worth noting that the tempo and key are more mournful than most of the album, which makes the last song feel less aberrant.

Final Frontier

What's rad? Not. Us. Pirates mentioned? No

For our home we destroyed, so we sail onto the void For an undiscovered system far from here. If the wind takes our sails, if we live to tell the tale, For the end of Mother Earth is drawing near.

To wherever the wind may take us, Lady Luck, just don't forsake us. If we're ready or not, this is our judgement day.

But who can trust us once they learn why we're adrift, If we can't even trust ourselves? We are but insects, undeserving of their gifts. We all deserve to burn in hell.

Yeah, that beats "Jetpack Race".

"Final Frontier" is a powerful song, and it's stronger for the obvious contrast with the rest of the album. The worst emotions the other songs tried to evoke were romantic nostalgia and righteous fury. "Final Frontier" is nothing but despair and shame.

Does it fit with the themes of Starship Velociraptor?

Well, it has nautical metaphors and space as escapism (of a sort), so there's some recurring motifs.

Our greed and vanity have brought this final shame...

Ah, yes. Plutocracy.

The "burning bed our fathers made" is global warming, pollution, mining runoff, the Holocene extinction, a thousand other little ways that "the crown" fucks over the planet to extract every nugget of gold, literal and metaphorical.

This is what happens if we obey authority, if we don't defy law or nation, if we just chase after dopamine until it's too late. This is the future if we don't kill the king.

Exiled humanity and all of us to blame

We all deserve to burn in hell

I don't know how I feel about this.

Is "Final Frontier" condemning every man and woman on this planet, holding them all responsible for what we've done, because it's ignorant of humanity's power dynamics? Because it doesn't notice or care about parts of the "burning bed" that only burn marginalized humans and not forests?

Or is it holding us responsible for the king's greed and vanity because we didn't stop him? Because we didn't rise, stand, and fight? Because we didn't work hard and persevere? Because we rejected the pirate's life?

Is that right? Is it wrong? I don't know. But that's what the song says.

Weaving the Threads

Let's start with the symbol I've referenced the most. The crown, the sun(?), authority, law and nation, god and king, plutocracy. The bourgeoisie, the men who control the world's wealth and power, using that control to profit off the blood, sweat, and tears of the proletariat.

And then there are pirates. They're only directly mentioned in a fraction of songs, way fewer than I assumed before I actually counted. What do the pirates represent? They're the highest form of treason: Questioning authority. The pirates first seek their own freedom against the tyranny of authority, and then rise in rebellion share that freedom with others. It's all very One Piece.

When you realize what the pirates represent—freedom and rebellion—you start to hear it in all but one of the album's songs. They are speed, they are escapism, they are space itself. They get you off the brakes, they storm the castle, they defeat the sun. You even hear it through the consumerist haze of "Starship Velocity," in the freedom of owning a starship.

This political purity is marred a bit by idolizing the space pirate lifestyle alongside what it represents, idolizing the violence of swordfights and the luxury of space travel and the individualism of whatever's going on in "Jetpack Race".

But the pirate's life is consistently framed as cool because it breaks the rules, because it resists authority. Everything the album frames as rad is connected to anti-authority pirates, directly or through association. And it's everywhere in Starship Velociraptor...

...except "Final Frontier".

The entire album builds up the symbol of the pirate, of freedom and revolution. And then it shows us the world where the pirates lost, or where they never existed. A world where the king ruled until the world was no more.

...

Maybe I'm just projecting my own political beliefs onto an abstract text. Maybe a Nazi or Libertarian could interpret these songs in a way that fits their worldviews. But this is what Starship Velociraptor means to me.

It's a lonely night in hell above this broken privateer, Running a race that can't be won, you'll feel like you came in last. Is a kingdom really mighty when for a sick and starving child it doesn't care? They ask us why we must reply with violence. So let me take you for a ride. 'Cause you clearly have good taste Nothing that we can't achieve, if we only just believe. Your eyes can tell you know you need Takе your freedom, claim your right, For the end of Mother Earth is drawing near. Man the cannons, draw your sword. You're gonna kill that fuckin' guy! Defeat the sun tonight!

#galactikraken #jonathan young #starship velociraptor #themes #music