#like yes there are deeper parts of characters that can be hard to understand at first glance

[angelwithdemonictendencies]

he set my house on fire, you lit my heart ablaze; when the smoke cleared, you stayed, coughing up ash with me.

jh86 x reader: the revenge plot doesn't go as planned (ft. ex-fiance am34).

(warnings: blasphemous filth (it's on the tamer side, i think), unprotected penetrative sex (m on f), spit and descriptions of bodies and stuff like that, hair pulling (big fan), lots of talk about toxic relationships and being mean and using people and sad moments (we can thank this fictional am34 for that), oh, and slight bullying of tz11). idk just please be warned, don’t read if you’re not 100% sure.)

(a/n: hello, favorites. thank you so, so much for your patience and softness. today i bring you a story that took me so, so long because i worked so, so hard on it (and it's really long! 14k worth). we have checked all the boxes: terrible ex-fiance am34, sweet boy jh86, schemes and plots and the like. no, i don't think any of these characters are like this in real life. no, nobody acts like this, but it's getting colder, so i think a lot of us are craving that gentle domesticity. and yes, i wish someone had shown up with flowers after i finished undergrad midterms. there's probably a ton of plot holes but shh! don't tell anyone. also tried out a new format, the smut is in the middle instead of the end, let me know how you feel about that. anyways, i miss you and i love you and i think of you often and fondly. i hope you and your snakes are doing well and knowing what you deserve and accepting nothing less. let me know what you think, what you want next, etc. go canucks, of course. oh, and no, i do not think it's a coincidence that all the guys i write about are having a great season so far (except the ducks that refuse to play). how could it be? definitely a causal connection. all my love to you. until next time).

since you were a young girl, you had known that your greatest motivation, your deepest truth, perhaps your fatal flaw, was just how deeply you felt.

when you were little, that meant tears came easily, anger festered like weeds in a prized garden, and happiness felt like flying.

it also meant you could read others' emotions almost as clearly as your own.

it made you different, it made you a good friend, it made you the person you were. for much of your life, you had made peace with the fact that your well of emotions went deeper than others. you had loved that part of yourself, even.

but the night you broke off your engagement to auston matthews, you wanted nothing more than for everything you were feeling to disappear, to evaporate into the air as if it had never been.

"you couldn't've at least tried to hide it from me?" you had said, willing your fragile voice not to break.

and he had sat at the kitchen counter, that massive body on the stool that you had carefully selected for the house that you shared, that you thought you would share forever. and he had sighed, sounded almost annoyed. "would that have made it better, angel?"

his indifference coated your bones like lead paint. that name, once one you felt would call you out of a coma, would lead you out of hell like a northern star, now felt like nothing but a condescending, patronizing taunt. silly, stupid angel, the god might as well have said, how could you think you could ever be enough?

understanding settled like ash on your eyelashes. "you think i'll forgive you," you said, little more than a whisper. "you think i won't leave."

he scoffed at that, then. at you. "and go where?" he asked, sounding almost genuine. "where do you have to go?"

how superficially he knew you, it seemed, at that moment. how had you not seen this before?

"you honestly think i could ever look at you the same?" you asked.

he shrugged, his shoulders so imposing, stature so suddenly frightening. a body you knew better than your own, suddenly foreign. a ghost. "maybe differently, but still looking," he said, "your eyes have only ever followed me, angel."

and maybe he was right, but you were done proving him so.

"send my things to my parents' place," you said, cold, devoid of anything. emotion welled up in you like a flood, but you froze it before it could crest through your mouth, come out like some mythical fire-breathing dragon. you slipped off your ring, placed it on the counter.

you didn't feel lighter without it, though. you felt so devastatingly heavy, like cinder blocks were tied to your ankles, like liquid stone filled your head.

"are you kidding?" he asked. to your silence, careful pause, he tilted his head, shook it once. "you're just gonna quit?"

your hands were shaking. you could feel rage rattle through your body, shake your bones. you clenched your fist so tightly you wondered if blood would drip from your palms, stain the light hardwood floor that you had spent so long deciding on. "how dare you," you said, begging your quivering lip to still.

his smirk was cruel. "not like it matters," he mused. "you've never been able to quit me."

you had seen him mean. on the ice, sometimes to journalists, sometimes to fans, sometimes to you, even. but this was past mean. this was past elementary bullying, past joking insults that don't land. he was trying to call your bluff, trying to push you into forgiveness, trying to hurt you.

"watch me," you said, your voice made of ancient rock.

"are you mad because she's hotter than you?" he asked, his brow contorted in false concern. "is that it?"

despite yourself, a small smile pulled at your mouth. a smile that made your eyes glitter. a smile that should have scared him. a warning.

"she is beautiful," you conceded, because she was. what good would it do you to deny that? you approached him, then, in his personal space for what you believed would be the last time. he turned to you, your eyes meeting in a clash, like sword on sword. cruel, brutal arrogance and pure, pretty wrath. you held the side of his face in one palm, the other hand resting on his shoulder. "but when a beautiful person hits on me, auston, i say no."

his eyes flickered down to your mouth, simmering with lust. you laughed at this, at him, raw and true, let pity soak your tone like acid. "i'm not mad at her, auston," you admitted truthfully. "i'm not even mad at you." you patted his cheek, perhaps a little harder than you needed to. "i'm just so disappointed."

that had been weeks ago. you had moved back to the states, so embarrassed on the plane at how you couldn't stop the tears from flowing, until finally you were back with your parents in new jersey. they had welcomed you so warmly, so easily. it had taken a few weeks for the tears to finally slow, for the utter devastation to fade, for your red eyes to brighten again.

at first, it had been hard to remember anything but how his embrace felt like home, how tightly he hugged you after games, how his eyes shone when he laughed, how he had teared up when you had accepted his proposal, how he had gushed about picking the right ring.

but as the sadness faded, as it festered into something much more serious, you remembered less of the fairytale moments, less of his perfect smile, less of the "pretty girl" utterances in his rough bedroom rasp. soon the sadness gave way to steely rage, to an almost bloodthirsty need for revenge. for him to hurt the way he had hurt you.

and no one does bloodthirsty like a group of university-age girls. after catching up with your childhood friends, and getting them caught up on your situation, you looked at your confidants with eager eyes. "what do i do?"

your best friend from high school spoke first, banging her fist on the table. "burn his house down?" she offered. "steal his dog?"

her friend from college put a gentle hand over her fist, "i think for now we try to avoid the federal crimes," she said, then turned to you. "when my ex cheated on me, i got with the lead singer of his favorite band." her eyes shimmered. "and then bought his dream car and wrapped it pink."

you giggled in delight. "oh, you're good."

your childhood friend nodded. "phycological warfare." she looked at you. "who's his idol?"

you thought for a moment, tapped your fingers on the table. "i don't know if idol is what i should be going for," you thought out loud.

"who's someone who would make him uncomfortable? insecure?"

"his dad!" your friend said, making you shake in a laugh.

"his biggest insecurity is the spotlight leaving and not coming back," you told them. you had known that for a long time.

"being forgotten?" your friend asked.

"being replaced," you said, your eyes widening with understanding. "with someone better. more promising." you shared a look with your friends, felt anger solidify into a plan. into hope.

"you look like you have someone in mind."

a memory flashed across your mind like a shooting star, engulfed in flame.

"how was the game, aus?" you had asked when he got home, stirring the pot of soup on the stove.

you heard some kind of grumble as he dropped his things in the mudroom, made his way into the kitchen.

"what's wrong?" you asked when you met his eyes, sensing something wrong like smoke in the air.

"just this young kid," he muttered. "'s nothing, really."

and you knew then that it wasn't just nothing, because he never tried to hide things from you, to diminish his feelings, unless it was really bothering him.

you turned the stove off, approached him, wrapped your arms around his middle and hugged him tight. "who's this new kid?" you asked, muffled by his chest.

his arms pulled your closer, tighter. this had always been where you felt warmest, safest. "some h name," he muttered. "hicks? hughes, maybe?"

you smiled into his chest, knowing him, and knowing he would never have forgotten the name of this kid. knowing auston matthews never forgets people who make him feel like anything other than the world's brightest star.

"whoever he is, probably just had the game of his life," you had said, your voice a comforting lullaby. you had pressed yourself up on your tiptoes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "nothing to worry about, yeah?"

he had smiled back at you, but something dark had swirled behind his gaze. something like knowing, like ominous understanding, like an empire, falling. "already forgotten, angel," he had said, but you knew, even then, that he was lying.

the memory fizzed and dissolved like baking soda in vinegar.

you looked at your friends and smiled. "what do you guys know about jack hughes?"

from there it was surprisingly easy to shift from a tangent line outside jack hughes's circle to someone inside of it. you were patient, too, careful not to rush. you wouldn't settle for anything less than perfect, after all, refused to enact any plan that wouldn't end in exactly the revenge you sought.

one of the other wags from toronto, whom you had grown close to, insisted on helping, giving you the numbers of some friends close to the devils.

"i'm honestly so, so proud of you for leaving," she had told you over the phone, her voice nothing but genuine, knowing. "all of us, we all knew you were way too good for him."

"did you?" you asked, maybe a little shocked. having been so completely deceived, so absolutely blind, for so long, it was interesting that others had not been as deluded as you. to hear their perspective, to see what you had not been able to before.

"sweetheart," she said, gently, "everyone who meets you can see that you're good. that you deserve someone good." there was a pause. "and everyone also sees that he was never that."

you let her words settle like glitter on a childhood craft. "thank you," you said. "i miss you."

"we miss you so much. see you soon?"

you agreed, thanked her for her help.

"i hope he's good," were her closing words. "maybe better, at least."

having started classes with your old friends, intent on finishing the degree you had so quickly and thoughtless abandoned for auston, you had ample time to plot.

"feels like we're in a spy movie, or something," your friend had said excitedly.

"we'll be your guys in the chair," the other chimed in. "here the whole way."

the rest of the initial plan came easily, with the help of the people who were on your side, which you quickly learned was a group made up of more people than you thought.

very soon, it was time for step one, and you were in front of your mirror, having just finished getting ready, your friends by your side.

you took a deep breath. "what if this isn't a good idea?" you whispered.

they squeezed at your hands. "no going back now, okay? we'll be there the whole time."

"what if he's not interested?"

"look at yourself," one of them said, "don't be stupid."

"what is he thinks i'm a crazy stalker?"

your oldest friend shrugged, her eyes full of mischief. "what if you are?"

so you found yourself at a dingy, run down bar, the lights low. according to your contacts, this was where the team and their friends came after home games.

when was the last time you had come to a bar looking for something? for someone? it felt distantly familiar, but so strange, like hearing a language you spoke as a child but that hadn't graced your tongue in decades.

you had been with auston for years, after all, having met him when you were 19, him 23. a whirlwind, a tornado, a perfect tempest of pink dust and white teeth. a proposal two years later, a break off a year further.

you were 22 now, and had never felt further from your nineteen-year-old self. a foolish child, a delicate doll, a phantom cloaked in a desperate desire for acceptance, for love.

you didn't know how to flirt in this new body, new being. you didn't even really know to how flirt with anyone but auston - it had been so long since you wanted anyone else. and you didn't even really want jack, at this point. you just wanted justice.

a cluster of motion and noise behind you ripped you from your thoughts. you didn't turn, though, just stirred your drink, let the liquid settle again until you could see yourself in the reflection. until you could make out your eyes, until you could plead with your mouth to tell you what to say.

a game, the beautiful girl mouthed to you, a secret code, it's only a game.

your hazy eyes caught on a pool table in the corner of the bar, vacant, the lamp above it flickering. you smiled to yourself, made your way over, picked out a cue, ran your fingers along the edge of it.

you took a sip of your drink before setting it down, lining yourself up to break. with a swift, even motion, a pleasant cracking noise rung out, colorful balls moving in different directions.

you scrunched up your nose, having sunk none initially, gracefully lining up to go again when you felt a few figures approach.

the first one who spoke, the one right next to you, was not someone you recognized. you didn't even think he was on the team, but he had the build of a hockey player, probably a quick center.

"need a private lesson, there, sugar?" he asked sleazily, his voice the arrogant drawl of a child, almost endearing in its steadiness. he leaned on the table as you looked up at him, straightened, tilted your head to rest against the cue.

"awful kind of you, coach of the year," you teased before nodding to the other person who had joined you, looming across the table like a shadow. "gonna help me beat your friend?"

your new coach scoffed, ran a hand through his long, unruly hair. "trust me, sugar," he said, "you don't need any help beating him."

you locked eyes with the figure across the table, whom you had only seen before on a screen, the one you had heard about in the arms of your ex-fiance. here he was, the soft contours of his face shimmering in the dim light. the mythical and heroic jack hughes, the shaker of the unshakeable auston matthews.

he was shorter than you expected. "not much of a competitor, is he?" you asked the man next to you, talking about jack as if he wasn't right there. as if you hadn't been looking at him the entire time. "doesn't like to play?"

you tilted your head, dared him with your eyes to prove you wrong. the familiar fire of flirtation, of the chase you hadn't engaged with in years flared when he took a step out of the shadows, letting you see him clearly and up close.

during your research, you had seen pictures of him, but they didn't do him even a semblance of justice. he was gorgeous in a fairytale prince sort of way, like he might save the day with a true love's kiss at any moment. his eyes were a striking blue, his nose almost dainty, his jaw angular. your gaze caught on his full mouth before finally landing on his eyes again. he had the kind of complexion and expression you could tell lit up when he smiled. your stomach twisted at the thought. a game, you repeated in your mind. only a game.

"i'll play," he said simply, his voice goofy in a way you weren't used to. not sleazy, like his friend, who was currently behind you while you bent forward, lining up the cue. it wasn't the classic baritone you were used to hearing in auston, but something more cautious, something sweeter.

the game progressed, each of you sinking shots with the tell-tale soft thud. it was his long-haired friend, the one who kept calling you sugar like you were some southern belle, who was much closer to you, who was adjusting your hips and arm placement before each turn, who was flirting with you so openly, his breath hot on your neck, his gaze open and obvious.

even then, a quick exchange of glances with jack felt much more intimate than any innuendo-filled comment and fumbling touch from his friend. whenever jack would sink a ball, his eyes would flutter up to meet yours in a fleeting catch of flame, of promise, of knowing.

with only a few balls still on the green felt of the table, his careful voice broke you from your trance. "what are we playing for?" he asked, eyes alight.

the look you shared was teasing, probing, yet deadly serious. this is everything, the look said. are you ready to give everything?

"how about this?" you began, your tone light and smoky. "if you win, you get my number." his full mouth quirked upwards in the slightest of smirks. "and if i win, i give it to him," you finished, nodding towards his sugar-spewing friend.

jack looked at his friend. "good with you, z?" he asked.

his friend, z, you guessed, let a cocky smirk drape across his face like velvet curtains. "more than good," he said, "as we're gonna win."

with the stakes agreed upon, the game continued until only the eight ball remained. you lined yourself up, your ever-so-involved coach just next to you as you called your pocket.

"have a game, sugar, here we go."

you ignored his friend's voice, lining your cue up perfectly, the smooth wood resting delicately between your fingers, the angle of your arm and neck smooth and sensual. everything about your preparation lent itself to a winning strike, everyone at the table knew it. you could feel it in z's early celebration, see it in the slight quiver of jack's hand.

bent over the table, in the final seconds before your strike, you peered up at jack through dark lashes, all dim light and foggy promise. you gave him a sly smirk as you followed through, the black and white ball missing the pocket by an inch, hitting the side of the table with a soft sound.

jack narrowed his eyes at you with a curious sort of look before quickly calling his pocket and immediately sinking the ball.

his friend sucked on his teeth before throwing up his hands in defeat. "christ, sugar, didn't take you for a choke artist," he said. "unless you're into that." he shot you a wink before heading off to grab a drink.

for the first time, it was just you and jack. you leaned on your cue, let your gaze fall over him lazily, in the same way you knew he was doing to you. he was close now, close enough that you could see how blue his eyes were, how long his lashes, how high and soft his features, how his hair was just a little too long on the sides.

"you let me win," he said, a gentle observation, not anything accusatory.

you smiled. "prove it," you said, to which a matching smile graced his own face.

"must be my lucky night, then," he said as he handed you his phone and you typed your number in.

you laughed. "i don't know," you mused, "you seem like a guy who's used to getting what he wants." and he did seem like that - who could say no to those pretty eyes?

he ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek, a motion you tracked. "'m a guy used to earning what he wants," he corrected, and you hummed. a distinction that auston had never made, even though he worked hard, sure. but he was a natural. what would it be like to be with someone to whom everything didn't come just so, so, easily?

"like to work for it, hm?" you teased.

his gaze dropped to your mouth for a second before returning to your eyes.

you stepped forward, pushed and poked at the imaginary line between the two of you. you looked up at him, gently swiped at his cheekbone with your thumb, felt heat rumble between the two of you, something volcanic. "don't work yourself too hard, yeah?"

without a second glance, you placed your cue against the table, grabbed your bag and made for the door.

on your way out, you overhead the conversation that had erupted in your exit.

"i was the one talking to her the whole time," that long-island-ish drawl said.

"if you think she was into you for even a second, you're an idiot," jack replied.

you swore the door was chuckling as it shut behind you.

everything had gone exactly as you'd hoped, exactly as you'd known it would, so you weren't at all surprised to receive a text the next day asking if you were around that night to get a drink.

so you found yourself at a different bar, this one a bit more upscale, quickly spotting jack as he waited for you outside. you blew out a breath as you approached, as a smile made his face glow. it was still so new to find someone else beautiful. when would you get used to his imperfect teeth, his oceanic eyes, his feminine nose, this greek sculpture opposed to autson's roman one?

you blinked. "hi," you said, suddenly feeling lame.

his mouth quirked. "hey." he opened the door for you, nodded. "after you."

"i'm gonna warn you," you started as you ducked past him and into the building. "i haven't been on a date in a while."

he shoved his hands in his pockets, a juvenile habit that made you blush. "find that hard to believe," he said, his tone playful. "pretty girl like yourself."

you scrunched up your nose at that. pretty girl. auston had called you that so many times, but for the first time you actually thought about its meaning. something flipped in your stomach at jack calling you pretty, but it was the girl part that had you pausing for a moment.

you were a girl, pretty much, you were jack's age, but you hadn't felt like one in so long. maybe it was being with someone a little older, but you felt almost ancient, so tired, so drained. but here you were, on a date, every bit the pretty girl he had deemed you.

you just laughed, taking a seat at the counter, smoothing out your dress against your legs. "real sweet talker, are you?" you joked, turning to him and meeting his eyes.

his mouth quirked like he knew something you didn't. "somethin' like that," he said.

the night went by fast, conversation flowing easily, no sign of pressure or anything of the like. you asked about his career, what he did that day, his family, his friends. he made you laugh, and it came so easily, so fluidly. he asked you about what you liked to do, what you were studying in school, how you were enjoying jersey.

surprisingly, you found yourself wanting to be completely honest with him, even though you couldn't be. you found yourself wanting to tell him everything, to answer any question he asked, to never leave him wishing or wanting even for a second.

you got hung up on the curve of his upper lip, on the slope of his shoulders under his button down, on his girlish laugh, his firefly of a smile.

the night was over too soon. too soon, you had the sinking feeling that you were in over your head, that perhaps you had chosen the wrong person for your revenge plot. you wanted to hurt auston, after all, but not yourself. certainly not this shimmery spark of a boy in front of you.

he walked you out, both of you pausing outside the bar, under the dull streetlight, a theatre spotlight for your praiseworthy performance.

you turned to look at him, and him at you, sinking into each others' gazes like quicksand, the air thick with expectation.

"i don't kiss on the first date," you blurted out, talking to his lips, talking to yourself.

he smiled, his shoulders rumbling in a laugh. "'s okay," he breathed, "like to work for it, remember, baby?"

you shook your head as your cheeks erupted in a delighted rosy flush. "goodnight, jack," you said, your voice every bit the giveaway. he returned the sentiment with a knowing grin.

the next day, you invited your girls over to watch him play. as you all settled on the couch, a homemade cocktail in your hand, you couldn't help but hide your face when the camera lingered on his profile during the anthem.

one of your friends gave a mock-salute. "god bless america," she said, shaking her head as you threw a pillow at her.

"alright," you chastised.

"what?" she asked, raising a brow, "just appreciating the wonderful offerings of our country."

your other friend shook her head. "you don't usually go for guys like him, eh?" she asked. "i mean, ever since we were in middle school you always went for the guys with biceps bigger than my face." she held her hands in front of her face for visualization.

"'s not like he's tiny," you said, almost embarrassed.

"no, no," she amended, "but he's no auston. he's just, i don't know, pretty."

you smiled, knowing exactly what she meant. auston was so masculine in every way, and jack was softer, somehow, pretty in a way you didn't usually go for.

pretty in a way that made you smile at your phone when he texted you the next day, asking if he could cook you dinner later that week.

you were blushing to yourself, the morning of, after he had texted you asking if you had any dietary restrictions.

and you didn't, but wasn't it just the sweetest, most thoughtful thing to ask? would you have even thought to ask?

i want you to be comfortable, his text said, i want you to laugh with your mouth full in my kitchen.

careful, angel, a deep voice called from the back of your mind, from the inside of your teeth. this is about me, remember?

your fingers twitched with the reminder as you stood on his front stoop, waiting for jack to answer the bell. the air had a brisk twinge of a chill to it, a chill that had your nose turning pink and your feet stiffening in your boots.

but he answered the door, and the breath you blew out rose between the two of you like a misty curtain, one you resented, because it distorted your view of him, even just so.

the mist settled, and his smile was left in its wake.

a smile that silenced all the gossiping voices in your head, left the throne of their malevolent king vacant, abandoned.

"you're here," he breathed, almost like he couldn't believe it, like he couldn't believe you.

"and it's your fault," you teased, scrunching up your nose.

he shook his head, laughed at some joke in his mind, stepped aside. "you must be freezing, baby, come in."

the butterflies in your chest soared as he helped you shoulder off your coat, his fingers leaving just a ghost of a touch on your wrist, the back of your neck, leaving scorched skin behind. you shivered, took in his graceful figure hanging your coat up on a hook by the door, let a smile come easily to your face when he turned back to you.

"what?" he said, grinning.

you let out a half-laugh. "nothing," you said, looking around as you kicked your shoes off. anything to avoid the white-hot light of his undivided attention. "i like your place."

and you did like it, truly, it was just so unexpected. homely, not cluttered, but definitely not the modern, futuristic, almost barren aesthetic you can come to associate with successful hockey players.

he flashed you a shy smile as he led you into the kitchen, bowing his head, making his hair fall into his face, almost bashful. "it likes you too," he told you, swinging his hand up to hit the top of the doorframe like a basketball-obsessed middle-schooler. you bit your lip to stop your grin.

what a pleasure it was to get to know all the most intricate and intimate manners of someone new.

"everything's almost done, now," he said, quickly turning off the stovetop and peering through the glass of the oven.

his tone was much more at ease then when you had talked to him before. he was at home here, and you could tell. he wore home like a hand-me-down sweater, too big in the shoulders and worn in the elbows, but lovely and familiar in all of its comfort.

you sat atop a stool at his counter, nervously rubbing the sole of one foot into the top of the other. "thanks for cooking, jack," you said, "you really didn't have to do anything fancy, or anything." suddenly, sitting here in this space, surrounded by the evidence of his effort, you felt guilt settle deeply into your body. unworthiness, perhaps, of the smell of food in the air, of the drink he had poured for you so gently, of the smile he kept throwing your way.

that voice in your head huffed. look at all this, he said, look at the burden you are.

and you were feeling it, so heavily, until jack took a sip of his own drink and waved you off, furrowing his brow as if confused. "'s how a date works, right, baby?" he said. he tilted his head, teasing, "tellin' me no one's ever pulled out all the stops for you?"

and you laughed, shook your head, because you supposed it was, supposed no one really had.

you got to know each other even better over the meal he had cooked, surprising you once again with how easy everything felt between you.

"tell me what you did today," he might say, his voice soft, muffled from chewing.

and you might tell him about your classes, how midterms were coming up, how you were nervous but felt pretty good about most of them.

maybe then you would ask about practice that morning, to which he would tell you some story about his teammates, how they were giving it to him all morning.

"why?" you might ask, to which he would look up at you with that bashful flush.

"'cause they knew you were coming over tonight," he admitted, pushing broccoli around his plate. "kept saying how i was probably gonna make you a box of kraft or something."

you laughed, a genuine rumble from deep in your chest, tilting your head back. when you looked back at him, he was looking at you with something like wonder.

and maybe later, you would ask what his favorite part of his house was, and he would say it was his wall of framed pictures, which would make you melt a little bit, your heart a puddle of feeling.

too soon, you were setting down your fork and knife, crossing and uncrossing your legs in restlessness.

"did you like it?" he would ask, his voice so full of hope it could have killed you.

so full of hope that you reached across the counter to hold his hand in yours, if only for a moment, to squeeze his fingers in meaningful emphasis.

your touch caught him by surprise, hesitant for a moment before locking eyes with you, simmering, then squeezing your hand back in his warm, callused grip.

a grip that said i'm no natural, but i'll work for it. for you.

"it was perfect," you said honestly, because it was. "but please, please let me do the dishes," you pleaded, looking at him through your lashes, just wanting to do something to help.

it would feel so wrong to be doted on for the whole night while giving nothing in return. at the very least, it would feel foreign.

he shook his head playfully, but relented. "you can help," he conceded, "but 'm not letting a pretty girl clean up my mess by herself."

you scoffed with a smile, squeezed his hand a final time before pushing yourself off of your stool, gathering all the plates and glasses in a single go.

"where'd you learn how to do that?" he asked, genuinely, as he followed you to the sink.

you carefully set everything down in a graceful swoop, let your lips quirk upwards in nostalgia. "once a waitress, always a waitress," you explained, referring to your short-lived stint at a busy restaurant in toronto before auston insisted on you staying home.

and at the time, even a little now, it was a sweet gesture, one you had taken as him wanting you to relax, wanting you to have the freedom to do whatever you wanted with your days.

you just secretly wished he had considered that what you wanted to do with your days was working, going to school, doing something for yourself.

jack leaned on the edge of the counter, his lopsided grin like an electric jolt to your heart. "what, did they show you the door 'cause you were making all the tips?" he teased, nevertheless making you blush as you washed the plates with soap. "not fair for everyone else, 's that it?"

you gasped in dramatic accusation, flicking sudsy water from your fingers his direction. "how dare you?" you exclaimed before turning away from him in a huff, feigning sadness. "'s not like i can control this face."

his mouth widened in shock, then took on a scheme-filled smile as soon as the water hit him, a short laugh escaping him. "you didn't," he said, dipping his hand in the soap and flinging some at you.

you squealed, holding your hands up to shield your face as he reached in for more, bubbles filling both of his palms. "wait, jack, i'm sorry!" you laughed. "i swear, i didn't mean to!"

"liar," he cooed, his gaze sparking like a lighter, you swore you could hear the clicking sound. then he was right in front of you, only a breath apart, so close you swore you could feel the beat on his heart in your own chest.

he reached down and gently held your face in his hands, the soap now all along your jaw and cheeks.

you closed your eyes for a second, sighed in defeat, still so aware of him so close, of his touch, feather-light on you skin.

when they opened again, you both had not moved, frozen in place, perhaps willed by the moment, compelled by the growing sensation of rightness, of being exactly where you were supposed to be. when he spoke, he was speaking to your lips, dragging his gaze back up to your eyes like it weighed something stark.

"do you kiss on the second date?" he breathed, and your breath caught, your heart stuttering at his utter politeness, his thoughtfulness, the idea that he remembered things you had told him.

you bit your tongue, because, if you were being honest, you usually didn't - you took the rule of threes very personally. you liked to take your time, savored that lovely period of what could be. besides, you had learned the hard way what happened when you let people in your life too quickly, too hastily. you knew all too well that giving in to a toothy smile and a sleeve of tattoos only led to shrugs met with tears.

but here, now, with jack's soapy hands on your face, in the space he had so warmly accepted you into, you had the feeling this boy in front of you was going to be an exception. that he would be an exception for many things, perhaps the exception.

as if hearing your internal dialogue loud and clear, he dipped his head down until he was impossibly close, so when he spoke you could feel the words on your lips.

"please let me kiss you, baby," he pleaded, his eyes hooded and heavy, his voice a rasp.

deciding he was an exception indeed, you answered him by pressing up on your toes, meeting his mouth with yours in a kiss that bruised.

and later, you would think about how auston had never been a please let me kiss you man, instead he had been a give me a kiss, angel kind of guy.

after, you would think about how it felt so much more personal, so much more sweet to be asked please, can i instead of being ordered give me, give me, give me, like a demanding, red-faced child.

later, you would think about how the previous kisses in your life paled in comparison to the feeling of jack's lips on yours. how before this moment, you were used to kisses that felt like transactions, like the necessary box being checked before the next step, how they felt like being swallowed.

after, you would swoon over all the details and nuances, but, right now, there was nothing but his lips, his hands, the way he melted into you and practically whimpered when you kissed him harder.

kissing him didn't feel like being swallowed, it felt like taking the biggest deep breath of your life after slowly suffocating for years. you forgot you had soap bubbles all over your face, you forgot about auston, you forgot about everything - there was only him, and you, in this moment.

he held your face like you were something precious, moving one hand into your hair as you wrapped your arms around his neck. he tasted like lemon and rosemary, as well as something so deliciously him you could feel yourself become addicted immediately.

his grip in your hair was soft, and when his lips moved against yours it felt like melting snow in the warmth of the morning, pure and sweet and natural and right. kissing him felt like waking up with sunlight streaming through the windows, like laughing while taking your makeup off, like cinnamon and clove and home.

when you pulled away from him, only just slightly, both of you catching your breath heavily, he opened his eyes slowly, almost reluctantly. his eyes were almost glazed over, and you had a feeling yours looked in a similar way, syrupy and hot.

he gently swiped his thumb along your swollen bottom lip as if testing to make sure you were real, not just some shadow, not just a dream.

you traced your nails along his neck, smiled as he brought his hands down to wrap around your middle, resting them on the small of your back.

"god, you're just so fucking pretty, aren't you?" he breathed, like a revelation.

you swore he had your head spinning for days after, days you unfortunately and cruelly had to spend apart due to a week-long road trip for the team.

you told yourself it was a good thing that he was going away for a bit, as it would give you a second to regroup, to revaluate, to familiarize yourself with what your initial goal was for your plan. you reminded yourself over the week apart that jack was a means to an end, that whatever had blossomed between the two you had a finish line, that all of it was meant to make a point, then hopefully leave this whole hockey world behind after the damage had been done.

but then one of your girls would throw on the game, and jack's expressive face would fill the screen, chewing on the fingers of his gloves during warm ups, and your heart would sink at the thought of leaving him behind. and it just about combusted at the idea that you were using him, even though that's exactly what you were doing.

you've only been on two dates with him, only kissed once, you reminded yourself. he's probably seeing other people, anyways, probably with some other girl right now. it's not like you're exclusive. this is probably not a big deal to him.

the thought was comforting but also devastating, a brick in your stomach.

while he was away, midterms came and went. as you walked into your last one, you thought about maybe texting jack after, trying to get together tonight, since he would finally be back.

then your pen hit the paper and time passed in a blur.

you exited the lecture hall in a flurry of relief and pride, happy to have accomplished something so concrete, something that you had truly worked hard on.

walking down the stairs outside of the entrance, your smile stilled, frozen in shock, when you looked up from your feet and saw a familiar, beautiful figure leaning against his car, an excited grin on his face, flowers in his grip as he locked eyes with you, making your breath catch.

"is that jack hughes?" some kid from your class said altogether too loudly to his friend. you had seen that same kid wearing devils gear more than once.

his friend didn't look up from his phone. "who's jack hughes?" he replied.

you couldn't stop your disbelieving laugh, your smile, already making your cheeks sore as you finished descending the stairs, until you were in front of him, wrapping your arms around him, pulling him in for a hug before you even realized what you were doing.

this was so unlike you, really, letting yourself feel as deeply as you could without filtering it, but anything else would have felt so wrong it could have killed you. especially when he brought his arms around you without even a second's hesitation, held you tight and close, so you could feel the petals of the flowers on the back of your neck.

"you're here," you said, breathlessly, still shocked, into his firm chest.

"had to make it back for your last test," he said into your hair, both of you not wanting to let go.

"how did you know?" you murmured, pulling away from him, only slightly.

he loosened his embrace, pulled away to get a look at you, let his eyes run over you carefully, indulgently. he pushed your hair back from your face, his touch gentle, like you were a relic, something worth treasuring. "you said so, last week," he said simply, like it was obvious.

he said it as if, for years of your life, you had wished and yearned so reverently for auston to remember the little things, like your coffee order, like the dates on which your parents were coming to visit, like your anniversary.

he said it as if it didn't mean the entire world that he had listened, that he had remembered.

you only leaned into his chest, looked up at him with something seriously dangerous in your eyes, something that was not supposed to be there. "'d you bring me flowers, jack?" you asked, a playful note in your tone.

he flushed, so lovely, hid his face behind the bouquet, peeking only one deep blue eye out, as if embarrassed. "too much?" he asked, still shielding his face.

you laughed, squeezed his bicep lightheartedly. "just enough," you assured him, your eyes full of meaning, willing him to lower his shield, let you see the face you had been dreaming of all week. "thank you. i missed you."

you would have told him that a thousand times just to see the way his whole face lit up, like he could never hide how happy your words made him. he wore the late afternoon sunshine like a dream, the dewy rays dripping down his cheekbones, the slope of his nose, slow and golden as honey.

he had this way of making you feel like you were first choice, every time, and it was so foreign that you hadn't known you had been craving it until he had laid it at your feet like an offering. every time he texted you to check in, to ask how your day was, to finalize plans, it would send a flurry of butterflies swarming your chest, a rosy flush to the bridge of your nose.

he was so, so beautiful, inside and out, that you effectively forgot what the whole point of your plan was in the first place. you basically had forgotten about it, that day that he dragged you along with some of his friends to pick out a christmas tree.

"do i know any of these friends?" you had asked on the way up, riding shotgun, reaching over periodically to run your nails along his neck, just below his hairline, your way of saying i'm happy you're here. and he would reach over and rest his hand on your thigh, not possessive, just a reminder of your presence. a reminder that made your insides twist with want, nonetheless, that made your gaze simmer.

one of the things you appreciated so genuinely about jack was that he didn't rush you for even a second, so happy to go at whatever pace made you most comfortable, whatever pace would keep you around the longest. it felt almost wrong that his acceptance of a slow pace made you want to speed things up, made you want to know what he felt like in your hands, what sounds he might make if you teased him, what his voice would sound like in your bed.

he let out a rumble of a laugh at your question, shaking you from your daze. "you'll definitely recognize one of them," he said. "though i don't know if he's fully recovered from your last meeting."

"oh no." you paled. "not him." you winced, thinking about how you had probably bruised his inflated ego. not beyond repair, though, you knew. for guys like that, never beyond repair.

jack traced circles on your thigh with his thumb in affirmation. "don't worry, baby," he said, "told 'm to be on best behavior."

when you arrived, you recognized that boisterous voice immediately.

"so good to see you again, sugar," he drawled, his tone especially toying.

you decided to cut any hard feelings immediately, going up to him and giving him a quick hug in greeting. "i think i owe you a thank you, coach of the year," you said, pulling away with a smile.

luckily, he seemed to forgive quickly, even to appreciate your efforts. "i prefer my thank yous in hot chocolate form," he said, and you promised to fulfill his request later. he gave you his name in exchange for yours.

you spent the afternoon leisurely ambling around the grounds, looking at potential trees, but really just enjoying the company of those around you.

most of the time, you spent laughing, tucked into jack's side, finding warmth in the firm feeling of his hip against your waist.

"what about this one?" trevor asked, holding up an especially short and stout one.

the two of you decided jack would need a taller one to better suit the ceiling proportions in his living room.

walking around, it felt like you were in your own dreamy winter wonderland, in a fog of laughter and warmth and a million other beautiful things.

"you leave again tomorrow?" you asked at one point, unable to hide the slight disappointment in your voice. you peered up at him, your eyes warm, your cheeks rosy from the cold.

he met your gaze and nodded, hugged you tighter into his side. "back in a few days," he said.

you couldn't help but pout just a little. jack's roadtrips felt longer and more lonely than auston's ever had.

jack ran his thumb along your bottom lip. "what's that for, baby?" he asked.

you shrugged. "just gonna miss you, 's all," you told him honestly.

something sweet bubbled up in his gaze, but the moment was effectively interrupted by trevor's voice coming from behind you, now shockingly close.

"oh?" he said, dramatic, "what's this? is that - mistletoe?" he emphasized all of his words with dramatic pauses. you briefly thought that maybe, if he hadn't been all in on hockey, he would have made an excellent theater kid.

you both turned to find trevor standing right behind you, holding an alarmingly large branch of something that resembled mistletoe.

"where did you find that?" jack asked his friend.

"never mind that," trevor said, waving him off.

you elbowed jack lightly. "looking for an excuse not to kiss me, are you?"

he shook his head incredulously, as if you had said something funny. you were about to tease him again, but he didn't give you the chance, immediately taking your face in his hands and angling his head down slightly to meet you in a kiss that seared every bit of chill from the air.

would you ever get used to this? would his lips ever not feel like they belonged on yours? would your heartbeat ever not thrum, like some perfect harmony?

the warmth of his hands on your face, the security of yours against the plane of his chest, all of it, everything - it was so perfect you wanted to stay here, just like this, forever. and the thought didn't even scare you as want began to pool inside of you, hot and heavy.

a mixture of a cough and a laugh had the two of you pulling away from each other. one of jack's other friends who had tagged along let out a low whistle, making you blush deeper.

jack just slung a heavy arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, pressing his lips to the top of your head.

luckily, trevor's attention had already strayed, as he was now holding the branch over his own head and the head of the other friend. "don't fight it!" he was calling out as the friend broke out into a light gait.

"get away from me, you scumbag," the poor kid called out over his shoulder.

your eyes were stuck on jack's face, still hazy from your kiss. he turned to you, his mouth quirking up. "staring, baby?" he said, low enough for only you to hear.

you nodded, shameless. "want you," you told him plainly, barely recognizing the tone of your own voice.

the fire in his own eyes welled up as you placed your hands flat on his chest. "fuck, now, baby?" he asked, looking around to where his friends chased each other around.

you bit your lip, pleaded him with your eyes. "please, jack," you said, "please take me home."

he took your hand in his immediately, tossed some parting words over his shoulder to his friends, who paused, watched the two of you stumble into jack's car with urgency.

as he started the engine and pulled away, you heard a faint the hell are we supposed to do with this tree?

the car ride back felt longer than it really was, both of you practically buzzing with want. you kept a hand in his hair, his palm planted firmly on the inside of your thigh, close but not close enough.

you let out a sigh of relief when he pulled into the driveway, let him pull you into the house, push you up against the closed door, kiss you again with heat and force and somehow, such softness.

it was the softness that filled you with want. his desire was obvious, especially when he pressed his hips up, hard against you, but that didn't mean he wasn't just so gentle with you, so in tune to what you wanted.

you fisted your hands in his hair, pulled until his posture faltered, until his lips parted further and he moaned into your mouth.

you hooked a leg around his hip to bring him closer, relished the way he began to rock against you.

"fuck, baby," he breathed out, strained, stuttering in places, "don't wanna fuck you against the door."

later, you would think about how auston had never had such a problem. he had never cared where you were, how uncomfortable a position had made you. sometimes you had thought he found his own bed boring.

but jack just pulled you into his room, lightly rocked you back onto the bed, pressed soft kisses down your jaw, your neck, your stomach. you both pushed and pulled clothes aside, looking to give the other as much access as possible.

"so fuckin' pretty," he mumbled against your stomach, making you flush all over.

"please, jack," you whined as he slowly dragged his fingers through your folds, making you shiver.

"what do you need, baby?" he asked, pumping himself a few times, up and down, his voice low and rough.

you sat up for a moment, took hold of his hand, peered up at him through your lashes as you spit into it.

he groaned, ran his hand over his cock, now glistening with your spit. desire glowed in your eyes like fireflies. "tell me," he begged.

you laid back on the bed again, the smell of him everywhere. another time, you would insist on feeling him in your mouth, maybe on feeling his mouth on you, but you knew the both of you were far too desperate for that.

"just need you inside me, baby, please," you said, your eyes raking over his figure above you, all gentle slopes and hard lines together.

"ask me so good, baby, so good for me," he said, a careful rasp. he thumbed your clit, making you jolt, dragging his fingers through you again before bringing them to his mouth. "and so ready, hm?"

you nodded feverishly, your mouth falling open as he finally pushed into you, his groan deep.

you whined, the stretch so surreal as you reached forward to grasp at his forearm, anything to ground you.

staying still in the stretch for a second, you waited for the feeling to weaken, but it didn't, not really.

he dropped his head, his exhale coming out shallow, the muscles in his shoulders constrained.

you tightened your grip on his forearm, let your nails dig into him to pull him back to you.

"fuck, baby, i can't," he bit out, "can't, i swear."

you rolled your hips back and forth, trying to will some movement from him. "please, jack, please move," you begged. "please fuck me, baby."

never one to deny you, he began a slow pace, the friction and depth almost unbearable. one of his hands dug into your hip, so hard you could feel bruising, the other beginning to rub careful circles on your clit, making you cry out in pleasure.

"you're so deep," you choked, "faster, baby, need you faster."

he obliged, picking up the pace of his rhythm, moving his hand faster against your clit, making that wave well up within you, forcing moans from your throat.

"fuck, sound so pretty, baby," he said, a glistening sheen now painted across his brow, his collarbones. "so pretty, squeezing me so perfect."

the muscles of his stomach began to contract as you felt yourself dangerously close.

his rhythm continued, bruising in depth and force, so lovely in softness. you tugged his hand from your hip, placed his fingers on your tongue, desperate for something to do with your mouth. you sucked, pulling a guttural moan from him. "don't stand a chance when you do that, baby, swear," he said, "fuck, don't stand a chance with you, hm?"

you felt yourself smile around his hand, your eyes watering, glazed over.

"gonna make me cum, baby," he whined, his motions becoming jerky, his voice little more than a plea. "cum with me, baby, hm? make me feel so good, yeah?"

you fell over the edge at his words, felt his orgasm follow yours almost immediately, the air warm and sticky around you. he collapsed on top of you, his exhales like liquid on your skin, yours like dreamy sighs as he pulled you to him, held you close as you waited for the rise and fall of your chests to settle.

he drew his fingers lazily around the flesh of your thigh, your hip, you pushed his hair back from his face as you both fought sleep, wanting just a few more seconds in the conscious presence of the other.

everything was so lovely you could barely stand it.

you should have known it wouldn't last long.

a day into jack's time away, you received a text from one of your friends in toronto. it was a picture from auston's instagram with the message just thought you should know. we miss you.

something cracked in your chest at the photo of your ex-fiance and this new girl. it wasn't really jealousy, definitely not desire, no, it was harder to pinpoint.

maybe it was the fact that after four years of being together, and after a whole year of being engaged, auston had never once even thought about posting a picture of the two of you.

and you had always chalked it up to the fact that you didn't have any social media, but now, you realized there was something to be said about letting the world know that you were taken.

and you also knew, now, that that was a statement auston had been unable to make your entire relationship.

a voice in the back of your mind, tone watery with tears, wailed. what makes her so special? it pressed. what makes her so much better than me?

it didn't help that she looked absolutely nothing like you. you wondered passingly if you would have preferred a look-a-like to be staring back at you through your screen. you didn't really know, but you did know that her features were sharp to your soft, your eyes are hair completely different in coloring. her face had you questioning if he had ever really found you beautiful, or if you had been the exception to his regular type. the idea weighed heavily on your shoulders like a cape made of cement.

but you knew, at the end of the day, that it was not about her.

and so you decided that as much as your relationship with jack had become genuine, maybe it was time to bring back the plan, just a little.

it can be two things, you told yourself, jack doesn't need to get hurt.

so when jack arrived back from the road, your relationship now teetered on a tightrope, balancing between two things, two motives like a trapeze artist.

still, you tried your best not to let your desire to rip out the heart of your ex-fiance stand in between you and jack. you could be bloodthirsty and gentle at the same time, you told yourself. two things.

the idea became easier when jack began to ask you to come to his games.

at first, you had been skeptical. auston hadn't wanted you there until maybe a year and half into your relationship. you didn't want to push this, press your luck, make yourself a burden, in fear of him abandoning you.

"are you sure you want me there?" you had asked the first time, a little timid, your face resting on your clasped hands, sitting at his kitchen counter, keeping him company as he made something on the stove.

he had turned to you, head tilted, confused. "of course i do, baby," he had said, calmly and clearly. "i want you everywhere i am."

and that had been the end of that.

so you began to become a regular attendee at his games, getting to know the people of his life more closely, becoming a fixture in his life more solidly.

you let him post a picture of the two of you, so touched that he would even ask. he showed you the post when he was done.

you kissed his shoulder in response. "your eyes are closed, jack," you said, half-laughing at the fact that he had chosen this picture, so flawed in nature.

"hm?" he looked at the picture again, then shrugged. "hadn't noticed. no one's gonna be looking at me, anyways."

you shook your head, disbelieving. he was making it hard for this to be two things. he was making it really, really hard to care if your ex-fiance even saw this post. he was making it really hard to care about your ex-fiance at all.

"i don't believe you, sometimes," you mused aloud.

he twirled a lock of your hair, mesmerized. "how?"

you tilted your head back to allow him easier access. "you're pretty perfect, you know that?" you smiled up at him, blissful. "too perfect."

seeing his face go pink with your praise made you make a mental vow to tell him more often.

and he gave you every opportunity to be surprised by his perfection, over and over.

every kiss was something teenage you would have dreamed about, every time he led you into his bedroom was something current you dreamed about. how he seemed to enjoy every moment no matter what you were doing, even how clearly he communicated with you during your first fight, all of it astounded you.

he made all of your friends jealous, but so happy for you. he met them, one time, when he dropped you off to get coffee with them after class.

he was so respectful with them, asked them genuine questions, but never anything that told you that he wasn't in on you one hundred percent.

when auston met your best friend in toronto, he had dropped your hand that he had been holding.

"didn't tell me she was so pretty, angel," he had said, and you had hoped it was just to show you he was putting in an effort to impress the people that were important to you.

when jack said he had to be going, to get to morning skate, he just kissed your cheek. "use my card, yeah, baby?" he called out, waiting for your nod and smile before he drove away.

how had you stumbled into this? was it possible that it wasn't too good to be true?

jack had asked you to come to toronto when the devils headed up north to play the leafs, because he knew you had lived there, because he had lived there, too, and wanted to show you around. and it had reached a point where refusing him when he offered a piece of himself to you seemed cruelly impossible.

you told yourself that it was just another game, just another day. it helped that you honestly didn't feel any attachment to this rink, even to this city. you had watched jack play plenty, now, and you were determined to treat this game just the same as any other, if not rooting for jack with just a little more urgency, a little more emotion.

you loved how easy he was to cheer for. you loved how you could see how much he loved the game, how he smiled after every good play, how he saw things you could have never seen on the ice. you could practically hear his laugh in the rafters, see his imperfect teeth in the glass. he was everywhere, here, are you loved it.

of course, you noticed that your ex-fiance was here, but it honestly wasn't even that bad. if anything, it was confirmation that you were over him, that what you had with jack was real, that you weren't in for revenge anymore. you weren't in this for auston at all.

until he scored, and his goal song echoed through the arena. you knew that this year, the leafs had decided to try out individual goal songs after players scored, songs that they chose before the season started.

you did not know, however, that auston matthews' goal song was the song that, months ago, was set to be the soundtrack to your first dance.

the crowd was eating it up, of course they were, the juxtaposition of auston's dynamic scoring ability with the old-fashioned crooning of you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you.

the song seemed to reverberate off of the walls, into your head, behind your eyes, where it settled like thick fog. it smelled like champagne, waxy makeup, hairspray. your eyes began to water, which made your throat constrict.

like a dream, maybe a hazy memory, your first dance that never was flashed across your mind. an ornate, almost gauche white dress, the beautiful heels you had been practicing to wear. his pressed suit, slicked back hair, stupid designer socks that used to make you laugh. his hand on your waist, your arms around his neck, the two of you lost in each other, swaying, swirling around the floor to this song, surrounded by loved ones, high on laughter and the future and love.

slowly, the image blinked out of your vision as the song faded and the puck dropped, play starting up again.

it blinked out like a dying star, and then it was exactly that. dead.

because as you trained your eyes back on the ice, never once did they stray from 86 in red. never once did anything like regret or nostalgic desire well up in your heart, because you were not the one who lost. you were not the one with something to prove.

finally, you buried that wedding dress, laid it six feet under, let the soil spoil it, knowing one day you would wear a white dress and it would mean something to both parties involved.

in a breath, the game ended, and jack won, and he was truly all you were thinking about.

waiting for him, though, practically bouncing up and down, you were suddenly pulled into a side hallway by a grip you would recognize anywhere.

you were not surprised to look up and see the calculating eyes of auston matthews looking down at you with some lethal combination of heat and arrogance.

"angel," he said, a greeting that made you grind your teeth.

you pulled your arm away from him, shook him off of you, willed strength and stone into your posture and tone. "cool goal song, asshole," you bit out.

"i missed you too," he cooed, not taking you seriously, even now. his frame seemed so imposing now, looming large, too large for someone you didn't trust.

you rolled your eyes. "if you'll excuse me, i'm waiting for someone." you turned to leave the hallway, go back to the exit where jack would surely be walking out of any minute.

auston grabbed at your wrist, and it burned. "what, you mean that kid?" he scoffed, but didn't let go. "c'mon, angel, you know he's nothing to you." he rubbed a circle into your wrist that once, might have been soothing, but now made you feel sick. "you know you're all for me."

and you could have said so many things. like how that kid was your age, actually, so what did that say about him? like how that kid was twice the man he would ever be. like how this would be the last time you ever saw him, the last time he would ever have your attention.

the opening of a door ripped you from your thoughts as both you and auston glanced up to see jack in the doorframe, his bag slung over his shoulder, his face flushed from the game, tired blue eyes caught on auston's hand around your wrist.

time froze for a millisecond as you felt like you were pulled between worlds. it can be two things, you had told yourself once. it was never two things.

you watched as painful realization settled in jack's eyes as he simply turned away, let the door close behind him.

you ripped your arm from auston's grasp. "you've never taken me seriously," you told him then, looking him square in the face, your tone steady and serious as anything. "but if you believe anything i say, let it be that you are nothing to me, and you never will be again."

for the second time, you were the one to leave, this time running towards something worth saving.

you cursed under your breath, looking around for that head of soft brown hair.

you found him in a different hallway, sitting on the ground, his bag slumped next to him, his back leaning against the wall, his feet flat on the ground.

for a single moment, it was so quiet you swore that your exhales echoed against the walls. he didn't turn to face you, but obviously knew you were there.

"so you're with him, then?" he practically whispered, his tone like a cleaver to your chest, so defeated and blindsided, almost like he was talking to himself.

you slowly made your way over to him, sat down next to him, mirrored his position. side by side, but he felt so far away. "i'm not," you said back to him.

he let out some kind of bitter laugh, a sound you hated, a sound you hoped you would never have to hear again. "so that was you making friends?" he picked at a thread on his dress pants. "just meeting new people, 's that it?"

you turned to face him, then, but he still faced forward, as if looking at you would ruin him. "it's not what you think," you said, softly.

"well, what is it?" he paused, looked at you, then, and he wore his sadness like a suit fit for mourning. "be honest with me, please."

you took a shaky breath, knowing that this, very possibly, might be the last time you would ever be so close to him. knowing that your next words, your explanation, it might drive him away from you forever, before you had even really had the chance to have him.

you savored this breath, this liminal space between the truth and the now.

"i was going to marry him," you said, and the confession felt like letting go of every single vengeful thought you had ever had, like all the spite and disdain in your body had evaporated into dust.

"you were going to marry auston matthews," jack murmured, his face blank, his tone confused.

"yes."

"but you're not anymore?" he asked, looking at you, leaning his cheek onto his knees like an impatient elementary school kid waiting for recess.

you shook your head. "no. he cheated on me."

there was a pause, brutal silence, as his brow furrowed in confusion, his fists clenched briefly before letting go. his gaze fell to his hands for a moment, and when he spoke again it was so cautious, so pointed, that your stomach sank. "and then you just happened to start dating me?" he looked so tired. "same job, same goals, pretty much same life." he let out a breath. "you can't tell me that's a coincidence."

you sighed, prayed to whatever god would listen that honesty would count for something. "no, it wasn't a coincidence." your heart felt like it was lulling itself to sleep. "you were never a coincidence."

he dropped his head between his knees, and hurt vibrated through the air like sound waves. you could feel his hurt in your fingertips, could have melted in down, frozen it, wielded it like a weapon. "tell me something, baby," he pleaded, muffled by his legs. "please."

you knew it was unfair, but you laid a gentle hand on his fingers. "let me tell you all of it, please, jack, and then you don't have to see me again if you don't want to."

he took a breath that you felt in your bones, then in an act of mercy you cherished, gave a soft nod.

so you did. you told him the whole story - how you had been so devastated and hurt that you were blinded by a desire to make auston suffer. how you had chosen jack on purpose, because you knew it would cut the deepest. how you had not simply shown up randomly at that bar, all that time ago, how all of it was part of a plan, down to flirting with his friend, down to that first game of pool.

he didn't push your hand away, actually leaned his leg into your arm as you told him the story. the scary part's over, you wanted to say, you can stop hiding under the covers, now.

and so you told him about how he had hijacked your plan entirely. how you never expected to determine how good your day was based on how often you heard his laugh, how no one could have predicted how often you dreamed of his smile, how days when he was away truly felt like a loss.

"if i had known you, i never would have put you through this," you told him, finally, honestly. "i would have left you alone."

he was quiet for a moment, and then he picked his head up and looked at you, genuinely, thoughtfully. "you never would have used me to get back at your ex-fiance?" he asked, but there was not really any bite in his tone.

you tried your luck, reached up, brushed his damp hair from his forehead. "i did use you," you admitted. "and i don't have an excuse." he looked at you with clear eyes. "it was mean, and cruel, and all i can do is say that i'm so, so sorry and i will never hurt you like that again. i promise, that's the truth."

in the silent moments after you finished speaking, you closed your eyes for a brief moment, waiting for his reaction.

when you opened your eyes, he was looking at you. he opened his legs and knees wide, held open his arms, waiting. "i believe you."

it took no convincing for you to settle into the space he had created for you, to lean back against his chest, feel his heartbeat between your shoulder blades, his arms coming around your sides to clasp in front of your middle.

"you believe me?" you said, almost a whisper. you picked up his hand, held it to your chest, shocked that he was letting you. shocked that he was still here, making space for you.

you let the smell of him engulf you. it felt similar to walking into your mother's closet - the evidence of her living, loving, everywhere around you. the evidence of jack was everywhere, now, all over you, growing like some carnivorous plant over your heart.

"you promised," he said simply, into your hair.

and how spectacular it felt for someone to take you seriously, to take your words at face value, to understand that when you promised something, you meant it.

it felt like words were failing you, so you brought his hand to your mouth and pressed your lips to his palm lightly.

he hummed into your hair. "tell me about now," he said, voice steady and patient.

"hm?" you twisted your neck to look him in the eye, leaned back further until the back of your head rested on his chest.

"you told me about before. about him," he said, his eyes swimming with home, with hope. "tell me about us. tell me about now."

you searched for words, wondering how you could convey just how important he was to you, just how deeply you cared.

you could have said that his eyes were the most beautiful ocean you'd ever swam in. you could have said that kissing him felt like swallowing stardust, that listening to him talk about his day was a privilege and honor.

you could have said how you loved his voice after a long day, how he wore his emotions openly, shamelessly, how kind he was to those around him, how he didn't let you leave his house in doubt for even a second about his feelings, how he let laughter come easy, how he was many things but never, ever, indifferent.

you could have said so many things, but sometimes poetry and fancy words are inadequate, just diluting the true meaning, make it taste like watered-down juice, faint and lacking.

you could have said so many things, but you just told him the truth.

"i wake up every morning and i think of you," you said. "every moment you're not with me, i wish you were." you willed every ounce of meaning into your gaze. "you are my first choice, every time, jack. and it's not even close."

there was a silence as he processed what you said, and something like adoration dawned in his gaze like a springtime sunrise.

he tilted his head down, pressed his lips to yours in a kiss that told you he understood.

that no matter how you had gotten here, you were here, now.

"tell me again," he whispered against your mouth, and you smiled into his. that, you could do.

fin.

#hockey #nhl #hockey smut #nhl smut #smut #jack hughes #jack hughes smut #quinn hughes #trevor zegras smut #jack hughes x reader #auston matthews x reader #auston matthews #auston matthews smut #auston matthews imagine #jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes imagine #new jersey devils #toronto maple leafs

[thatdeadaquarius]

PART 2 - Genshin Impact SAGAU / Isekai: Gifts to Give Your Allogene!

ELEMENTS HERE: Dendro, Hydro, Cryo, Geo

Part 1 / Part 2 (you're here!)

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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cuteness

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: a little bit of everybody as of Baizhu/Kaveh update! including rare beloveds like Aloy! (I hope I got them all… at least the playable ones… ) Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen Audiences Advised, light cussing

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& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

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Edit 1/1/24: Hey I expanded on this in my Eldritch Fanfic Post Part 2, but I just wanted to vet the old posts and say I did do a form of exoticism by including the word "Huangdi" throughout this.

I've since replaced it for better readability with "Emperor" but I didn't want to erase my mistake like it never happened. I'm genuinely sorry about this, I never had ill intentions by including it, but regadless of intentions that's the impact of my actions. I'm absolutely going to be looking out for kind of thing in the future/get a sensitivity reader/a beta read from that culture to check me.

I hope you still enjoy my writing and can understand.

Dendro Allogenes:

Tighnari = with some help again to put magic into it, you give Tighnari some head coverings you sewed together that have the power of Cryo in them! So now he can actually see what plants are out in the desert, visit Cyno, or just enter the desert to his heart’s content, which, yes, his tail started unconsciously wagging after you explained what it was. “Oh! For me? Well I’ve taken to avoiding the desert if I can because of… wait a minute, you say it has cryo in it? What? How does that work?? You think it’ll genuinely help me in the desert?? You made it???” Tighnari’s ears are all twitching with excitement, and he’s holding the covering (that matches his clothes/dark green) like it’s a new plant for study, omg he pulled out his magnifying glass and everything-

Collei = so she’s actually a really good seamstress, and makes plushies a lot, esp for kids! but one day you found one of her first attempts, a ragged looking sort of pale pink bunny… her first attempt at a plushie Baron Bunny!! so you decided to mimic her design (still baron bunny but with a sort of Sumeru-like clothing on it), and sew her one! You made a whole day of it, eating together, going to the best spots to sightsee (for as long as Collei was up for it/not too tired) and then gifted her the plushie Baron Bunny! She accidentally let out a small scream that startled both of you tbh, and then snatched that shit so quick lmao, kicking her feet on the picnic blanket and everything! With your permission of course, Collei then tackled you for a hug lol, she ranted about all the little details and made you tell her several times over how you made it so she could make some more in the future too! She may or may not have talked about missing Amber and teared up… but then you redirected her attention to the bunny saying, it’s like a gift from Amber and you really! (you also added a function where, if you squeeze the Baron, it’ll dish out some healing power and some heat! …Collei tackle hugged you twice for that one)

Alhaitham = what a hard person to get gifts for, he’d probably be like “thanks” no matter what you got him 😭, he means it tho, it would just be underwhelming… but on the bright side, he definitely seems like he’d show a deeper appreciation for handmade gifts! Since you learned how to make one for Yoimiya, you decide this calls for another handmade hammock (also bc Teyvat doesnt have hammocks)! You painted symbols like green crystals and geometric patterns, but also lions and a golden Palace of Alcazarzaray for Kaveh, and your symbol, the eight point star (like the four point but with flare/not like the jewish symbol with equal points lol)!! So that way he can keep lazing away, and avoid people more comfortably lmao, and also if he is going to do that, he doesnt have to sit on rocks or hard structures for hours reading, and you hope it’s encouragement for him to spend time outside/take a break and nap! (Haitham knows that’s part of why you gave him this, even if you didn’t say it, and so he makes a point to do that more often to make you happy, take the advice for his health) oh look, after thoroughly looking at your craftsmanship for 10 minutes, you got a smile in addition to a “thanks”, damn, that’s actually how you know he likes it a lot <3 :)

Nahida = you remember vaguely from Nahida’s storylines/friendship levels that she loves games, and so you collect her a nice deck for Genius Invokation TCG! You also made her a cute bag and container for it, her bag is a rose maple moth crocheted bc really this was an excuse to just make the cutest character in Sumeru look even cuter, (like this, i tried very hard ok, bc this doesnt exist yet, im shocked) The first image is most correct, (imagine the face and stuff is cuter/simpler) as that’s also the backpack part! Her eyes were so big when you handed it to her, (you honestly were shocked they even could get any bigger lol). She jumped up and down excitedly with the backpack on (ur fucking heart, just like you intended, the wings flapped around and everything <333) you are also currently working on a luna moth (the pale green moth) in case she wants it to match her outfit more! even tho Nahida insists something handmade once is enough, you can see the childish yearning in her eyes, like a kid trying to say no to a toy that’s being offered right in front of them lmao

Kaveh = pretty girls deserve pretty things, and you were definitely feeling the pressure to make something high quality enough for Kaveh, tho u know he’s sweet enough that he’d appreciate anything you’d take the time to handmake (and tbh.. it sounds a little arrogant, but ur hoping something so cared for by what he, or at least most people see as some kind of all-powerful god above the archons, will boost his self-esteem/confidence in his own worth more, or at least let him know one more person cares about him…) so you didnt make it super detailed, and you put a note on it too to let him know your not as great at that as he would be, but you made a model of the part of the teapot house you’re going to design for him! Like a sort of sneakpeak, you made a small lookalike of Alhaitham and his house, but filled it with decor like if Howl didnt hoard all the cool shit in his room in Howl’s Moving Castle, but instead spread it out, and sort of used your modern taste for layout, (not the ugly ass corporate aesthetic) and a small garden. You also made nearly all the decor and stuff something interesting (like some primogem strings, they can be pretty small, for string lights, lampgrass from Mondstadt that he’s never seen etc.) and while you very shyly handed him the model at first, he was practically vibrating with excitement!! “You made this?! Oh of course I don’t expect perfection, it looks wonderful so far, especially if this was your first attempt!!” Kaveh has like sat down, and is delicately holding it and looking around, and when you tell him it’s an actual space, meant for him, he gently sets down the model and grabs you by the shoulders, “Show. Me. Now. …please?” looking at you with very determined puppy dog eyes lol

Yaoyao = …idk what you expected. It was so obvious. A crocheted bunny backpack. brown, so it matches her, since her basket was brown, or you could leave off the feet, whichever u prefer, and anyway, Yaoyao is always doing things for others, so the little girl was so cute and pink when you actually gave her something instead! (once again, using ur old trick of making the person think u need something then shocking them with a handmade gift instead hehe) She IMMEDIATELY switched it out for her basket and has pretty much converted to using it full time! (tho when she needs the more solid one she’ll still wear it, she just alternates, esp if there’s some occasion she’ll deffo wear the bunny backpack, it’s her “fancy god-made bunny backpack!”)

Baizhu = the doctor isn’t one to talk about himself a lot, so you weren’t sure what he would like other than some new tea… but you wanted to make it yourself so while you were a little disappointed it was just a basic pet gift, you wanted to maybe put a little extra into it so maybe Changsheng will use it and Baizhu will think it’s cute! You crocheted a little pet pod/cave for her to hang out in (imagine this but a Jueyun Chili hehe) and it also has a little crocheted vine rope so the little Jueyun Chili cave can be hung from things, or even tied onto Baizhu’s apron/hold it like a purse! That way Changsheng doesn’t always have to drape across his shoulders/has somewhere to retreat! When you shyly showed Baizhu and Changsheng, he literally clapped, so did Qiqi lol (he usually does those tiny smiles… but this one was the brightest most genuine you’ve ever seen, even in game…!!) You find that Baizhu’s eyes look like that type of person’s eyes were they just look like “happy”, like there’s a little fond sparkle in his eye. Changsheng was all like “about time I got something instead of him! I’m basically an assistant too y’know! …thank you very much, my Emperor.” (if you’re NOT squimish of snake pics, pls look at this cute smile Changsheng would give)

Hydro Allogenes:

Barbara = …so even Barbara was a little hesitant at first, but came around to the idea after some convincing, and some encouragement (and showing her she was capable of it) but you basically ….may ….or may not have… found a loop hole for her being a catalyst? So, thru a lot of persuading Barbara to train with you and Childe (who also thought it was amusing to see such a young girl who’s literally a nun and a singer do this) you got Barbara to make water bombs! Like her circle of notes that float around her when healing, she sings and gestures and similar to her ult, (but like Childe’s E-skill it just switches between the two), the notes fly out and explode in the direction she sings/aims! You wanted to remind her of her old dream of being recognized, and wanting to help in battle in a more combat way, and besides, you’re sick of women getting regulated to the healing magical role in games/anime fantasy, so yeah. You and Childe are literally evilly giggling to each other in the background as Barbara sends quater notes and lines of music that explode (like how water can sharpen and cut things like Childe’s blades? Yeah he taught her that) so intensely that it cuts into the Pyro Lawlachurl, bringing it to its knees- Barbara accidentally cuts its head off as the finishing blow. While she gasps in a little fear, but mostly shock, Childe jumps up and down and starts cheering.

Mona = got sparkly eyes, nearly snatched the gift out of your hand, you made her some awesome earrings from the character banner wishes! All pretty ombre pink and blue they swirl and look so pretty framing Mona’s face, she only wears them on special occasions despite your claim of everyday use, they also help her figure out where the clearest view of the night sky each night but glowing brighter and brighter when she gets closer to seeing clearly, Mona is almost? weirdly envious?? for her past self that had to suffer thru all the inconvenient cloudy nights lmao

Childe = like anon said, a new pair of knit gloves, using the fur from the snow king boar! he’s amazed they never wear out now, and he totally uses them as an excuse to hold your hands all like “I just can’t get over how soft they are, feel them, you did amazing comrade! even better than some Snezhnayan shops!!”, exactly what you expect he’s leaning into your face and everything- 🙄

Xingqiu = an ao3 account you had a hard time with Xingqiu’s, afterall, he’s from a wealthier family, so he can get mostly what he wants, and you don’t wanna just get him another book… so you kidnapped him to Inazuma! (idk if this is canon, or happened in an event or smth I missed idfc) So, you also kidnapped Albedo for this trip, so that Xingqiu could actually see the impact his writing made overseas! While you intended for this trip to make Xingqiu feel better abt his writing, (and to help Albedo feel appreciated too, despite him not expressing much low self-esteem in his art, compliments heaped upon him def cant hurt, plus u can see him go pink too hehe) you also wanted to surprise him with a author book signing! If he was up for it, of course, which he “I absolutely, definitely, certainly am, my liege!” Kid’s practically hopping in place, as you get him all ready for his book signing (and not rlly Albedo bc he’s always fucking perfect, u dont have to do shit, even his messy hair looks nice 💀) …you also may or may not have given him some hair decorations (to help his asymmetrical cutting, not that it looks super bad, but for a change at least)

Yelan = …it’s official. You are intimidated. It’s only pretty hydro women and Ayato from here on, on your “Gift List”. Needless to say, like a few other allogenes, you wouldn’t know shit about this woman if you didn’t read her lore… it’s not a fine replacement, you don’t think, but with (lots of almond tofu, and osmanthus wine too) dev access to help you, you created another bracelet for Yelan. Inscribed (just like the heirlooms) inside simply says “You Are Not Alone”, with your eight star symbol following after (like a four star but with some flare, and also not the Jewish star lol), it glows an otherwordly gold, a contrast to the bright blues of the other bracelet. Its function is a geo shield, to protect Yelan and any teammates nearby when it’s activated, she can also leave the shielded area in one spot, so she can do her e-skill and still protect people. You’d just casually asked her to meet up with you one day in that teahouse you know she runs for intel, and when you presented her the bracelet, she held it delicately, saying nothing as she examined it, reading the inside. A small smile tugged her lips up, and she slips it on as she sips her tea, “…Well, I’ll have to show this to present this one to the family shrine, I think this more than makes up for the heirloom I failed to keep. A replacement from the Guide of Teyvat themselves… Thank you, my Emperor, for this handwrought gift you bestow upon a mortal such as me. …and thank you, for not leaving me alone.” Yelan bows a little in her seat, sharp blue eyes more softened than you’ve ever seen her, trained on yours. Her hands are together in that same praying motion that gives you the weirdest sense of deja vu…

Kokomi = so you don’t know much about her, as the it seems the character lore for Kokomi you can remember was… lacking, to say the least. Hoyo definitely plays favorites, BUT YOU DON’T!! At least when it comes to gift givining so everyone feels appreciated, you got a pretty book (handmade or bought) and got it/made it kinda small, like the size of the book in her idle animation, bc turns out that’s her diary of sorts. You know the priestess feels if she expresses any opinions that her people will just take her side, or her word as… well, a divine priestess, the weight of her title you suppose. She also keeps track of how many spoons she has! Like what things drain her, and what things make her feel better (big social interactions vs. reading a war treaty book by herself for example) So you made her a bullet journal! (here’s one of my favorite bullet journal youtubers, here’s a flipthru of her completed journal) you didn’t fill out the whole thing, just some example pages, to show her the possibilites! …you were kinda worried bc she turned away at first after delicately accepting it, and since it was just you two, she allowed herself turn back around and start excitedly chatting your ear off as she leaned in- and wow. Kokomi’s eyes really are, dreamy, like cotton candy… and they’re so much prettier when she smiles…

Ayato = …you know exactly what to do. Interrupting his busy schedule (and only actually taking one day out of it actually bother him so he can have the others as a secret vacation hehe) to come over to the Kamisato household and homemake some boba drinks for him, Ayaka, and Thoma to try! Mostly Ayato tho, you got all the syrups, the milks teas, the boba, and luckily, were able to get some help from Xiangling in experimenting in making… popping pearls! (they’re edible boba pearls that are actually filled with juice/syrup flavors and burst on your tounge when you barely bite them! they’ve very sweet, and Inazuma definitely didn’t have any different pearls other than tapioca, those squishy black pearls you see in his regular boba tea) …Ayato is literally holding your hand like he’s about to drop to one knee, this man is down bad for boba (and you) and… are those tears?! Is he tearing up?! “I can’t believe… THE Akitsu Mikami… blessed me, personally, with boba?? With NEW boba teas and pearls I’ve never even seen?! …Thank you, my beloved emperor!” Mans has quite literally gotten on his knees, but bc he’s so tall, he can still comfortably hold both your hands in his bigger gloved ones …Thoma is desperately trying to get Ayato up, Ayaka is getting onto her brother in the background.

Candace = it’s not exactly a traditional gift… but the reason Candace doesn’t wear a lot of her jewelry or finery is because of the hard job she has as a Guardian/in the desert, so you figured giving her more things she can’t even really wear wasn’t the way to go.. So instead! You gather a journal or advice from Ningguang, Keqing, Yelan, Zhongli, and all the others in the Qixing who were willing to help you, and kidnapped Ganyu for a sight seeing trip! (since u and Ganyu has that whole “in between two very different worlds” bond) You brought Ganyu because you know if anybody would be good at managing something/getting it started (like the music fest back for Lantern Rite… that I missed bc I dont understand how lantern rite works 😭😭😭 VIOLENTLY SOBS ITS BEEN 2 YEARS AND I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE LANTERN RITE U GUYS-) it would be Ganyu herself! …and to also give her a break. See Aaru Village suffered from little to no economy before Candace finally negoiated with the elders to let Sumeru merchants travel into town/buy from them/sell to them, but she’s had a rough time keeping the old coots from being dicks about it since, …and it’s also hard to convince the younger generations to come back after many wanted to see the outside world because of this… So what better what to solve two birds with one stone?? GANYU!! And all the economy and business advice you could gather form Liyue! You hope that the village flourishing (and helping Candace cut down on shady merchants) would impress the older generation, yet also get more money in the town so they can dress it up a bit more (like fixing unsteady bridges, also u kidnapped Kaveh to help revitalize their cultural architecture buildings back into life/or help make the simple buildings just prettier) Now Ganyu and her are besties (Candace rlly needed another friend besides just Dehya alone to come out and see her in the desert) and the adepti was very willing to come visit her and Aaru Village to help the economy maintain its footing/run smoothly, and Kaveh also comes and works on it/checks on her/the village! …When you initially showed all the plans to Candace, saying it’ll impress the old by bringing back old designs/architecture plus interest/satisfy the younger generations to know their hometown is advancing and make it more appealing to come back to… The Guardian puts her shield and spear off to the side, she lowers her head, and greets you, bc u kinda just started rambling without saying hello- whoops- , “Salaam aleikum Qore, **I have already become the first Guardian to have been blessed by the gods, to receive this Vision was the only aid I could turn to in trying to help my village, my community… but to be blessed once more? I would never have dared to dream, let alone the Ogdoad Qore… I am grateful on behalf of myself, my village, and all of King Deshret’s people. …truly, I did not expect a gods eyes to turn favorably upon us since my ancestors’ time. Thank you, my Qore.” You just give her a smile back, she taught you the return phrase, so you hope it’s appropiate, “Waaleikum us salam.” :)

Nilou = This woman is consumed by dancing, other than keeping the peace (well, within reason apparently bc she’s okay with a coup-) but you’ve heard how hard it can be on dancers, how plenty of them have to have strong muscles to perform consistently. So, using adepti magic, you’ve enchanted this minakari you’ve painted (a type of metalwork that’s then painted by artists, on Earth countries like Iran, India, Afghanistan, Pakistan make them) like the teapot! It’s a small island that has a dance studio, and more importantly, a spa with hot springs, a sauna, and a room full of medical supplies dancers would need like salves, heating/cooling pads (using pyro/cryo), and space for stretches! Overall, just a place for her to get away from all the people and to heal her body up for the next performance, and after getting it all prepped/packed up with supplies, and showing it to Nilou… she literally had her hands over her mouth the whole walk around the rooms and showing her everything. Nilou had already been shocked you’d painted her a minakari piece, let alone all this! Like some others, she was quick to drop the formalities, and before you could even say “I hope you like it!” she was wrapping her arms around you and squeezing as tight as she could, tearing up and saying how happy she was that someone understood how hard dance can be on the body and how hard it can also be to take care of yourself, and how she can’t possibly show her gratitude- wait a minute. She’s pulled back and gripping you by the shoulders, not even bothering to wipe her eyes, before she swears to give you a dance every year with all the culmination of her work as she learns and makes newer and better dances!! <3

Cryo Allogenes:

Kaeya = horses so he’s actually a calvary captain- you actually wanted something that’d emphasize the handmade part of the gift, to really let Kaeya know somebody out there really cares about him, cares about him in the way that they’ll sit down and think of an idea and think of him, and then work for hours, sewing, drawing, crafting something just for him, to happy about. You make him a small, pocket sized photobook, and have a picture of every person who cares about him in all the slots, and near the end, from his last birthday where you gathered everybody together to celebrate, is a photo of Jean, Klee, Albedo, Sucrose, Venti, Rosaria, Noelle, Amber, even Eula, Diona, Mika, Barbara, and Mona came! But most importantly, you got Diluc to host it at Angel’s Share, and after some convincing, got him to get in the picture, you’re slightly off center, sandwiched by Kaeya and Diluc, where Kaeya is mid-laugh at the center, having just seen Diluc’s embarrassed face. It’s the last one in the mini album, and each photo has an even small message at the bottom, giving Kaeya a message from everybody, just for him. At the very end, with the group photo just before, is one of yourself and him posing together, you having taken him out roaming Mondstadt for the perfect picnic spot, just to give an excuse why you wanted a picture with him. And at the time, he found it a little suspicious, but was just flustered enough he let it slide. But now, opening and unfolding this tiny album, full of smiling friends and caring words, Kaeya gives a small, watery chuckle, you’ve left him a message too. “Take care of yourself Kaeya, because someone out there really cares about you. :) “

Rosaria = After seeing her “nun” outfit, there’s no doubt in your mind that Rosaria is yearning for clothes closer to her preferred aesthetic. So, using your knowledge of punk clothes and modern goth religious aesthetics, you’ve made some pieces for her to try! Some black pumps with metal crosses for heels, yes they’re sharp and this nice shawl with beads, and finally, a nice lacy skirt (no you did not make fucking lace, jesus christ, you’re not a miracle worker, despite the belief of some teyvatians-). All of which, wow, got Rosaria to give you an honest to god… smile. A full, genuine smile from Rosaria… yeah that made all your hard work worth it.

Eula = a book on common manners so Eula is actually great at cooking! So what better chaos to gift to her other than introducing her to Xiangling! Especially since you’ve given the young Liyuean cook recipes from your own world for her to try out, she’s been on a rampage of new things, and so what better new experience than a cook from an entirely different country? You also made a small book of recipes (look up how to make a zine book on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) from your world, different from Xiangling’s because you thought Eula would like different recipes than her. …So needless to say you were then being berated by two chefs for not sharing all the recipes lmao, tho that really just gave them reason to share recipes! Also any new spinoffs Xiangling’s already made from the initial ones you gave her, and now Eula not only graciously thanks you for the recipes, but also her new pen pal! :)

Diona = So, to prep for this gift, you forced converted the Cat’s Tail to a non-alcoholic cat cafe during the daytime, and only in the evenings do they start serving alcohol/cats put up. You also got onto Margaret for hiring a child to make alcohol, so instead have Diona work better hours, and only during the cafe time, so she’s not making alcoholic drinks either. (you also checked in on child labor laws in Mondstadt, and ran some paperwork by Jean just in case) But most importantly, you teach Diona all kinds of new drink recipes to make, like Shirley Temples, smoothies, etc. You even (once again, by getting help from Xiangling and Diluc) made a drink for hangovers, but more importantly, helped her make one called “Sober Up” which magically flushes out the alcohol out of someone’s body, so Diona can finally sneak people a drink that (while still cursed to be well-made since Diona made it) is a trip to drink lol, it’s like a blast of carbonation/electricity to the system and will typically make most people very nauseous (but since magic’s doing it, they dont need to throw up, they’re just sick feeling for an hour depending on how much they drank). Diona nearly cried after she saw the effect on hungover customers, and immediately started sneaking them into her father’s drinks, so now he’s leaning more toward sobriety most days, and after finding out what Diona did, started to talk to his daughter more. The next time you see her, and ask after her father, she just wraps her little arms around your waist, the highest she can reach, you hug her back.

Chongyun = for prep for this gift, you painstakingly, slowly convince Chongyun to accept more and more moments of warmth, like trying some spicy food that’s gone cold, but just away from people so he can be silly out in the Liyuean mountains instead, and to try and use exposure therapy to try and get him used to yin energy/warm/excitable things, rather than the inefficient method of just avoiding it all (as it doesn’t always work/deprives him of so many nice things!! >:[ ). So that way! You can finally! Take him to have fun!!! You haul him (and Xingqiu bc the more the merrier) to go swimming in Luhua Pools, go jumping off all the peaks from one to another paragliding, using cryo to surf down waterfalls, and most importantly, go to a hot springs at the end of the day! Chongyun was worried about them being too hot and activating his yang energy, but you all agreed he had been training to get used to it, so now he when he goes to try it, he just relaxes into the heat. He could feel the tug to get out and run in circles and get excited, but finally, Chongyun could just choose to sit and relax into the warmth with friends instead :)

Ganyu = if I had a nickel for every woman In teyvat who just needs a break I’d be fucking rich …Obviously, a day off. But an ACTUAL day off, with work regulated to others, and unless there’s an Osial level incident 2.0 (fuck his wife, you put Shenhe on duty to protect Liyue just in case) NO ONE. IS. TO. DISTURB. GANYU’S. FIRST. VACATION. IN. DECADES. You get her to show you the prettiest viewing spots in Liyue, and as you go, tell stories from your life on Earth, showing her pictures on your phone (from both the internet and ur photos), to show her how mortal you are on one hand, but then how different you are here, upgrading her weapons and artifacts, and most importantly, her gift, a Teyvat modified cellphone! Albedo and you had been working together for months to try and make something close enough to connect ur two worlds, while introducing him to adeptal magic and other powerful objects like primogems and wishes that you have to help power it, that way the only other person who might understand immediately how it feels to be (literally lol) caught between two worlds can always rely on each other! …Ganyu cried. Yep, tears down her cheeks and everything, “…I- I- don’t even- even know what to say? All this, telling me about your mortal world, helping me get stronger, and now- now this? I may not have much to give in return, other than my company and my bow… but should you ever need me, or even wish for me, I will hold you as steady as I hold together Liyue itself, my Emperor." Ganyu’s smile is so, so, so pretty, and all the prettier now that her soft blue hair and sweet eyes are framed by the sunset, like it’s her own gift back to you.

Qiqi = A backpack for herbs! You’ve made sure to stitch her name into it so in case she forgets it’s hers, she’ll just see her name again, and lots of little pockets so she can carry all the herbs/make deliveries, it looks a little like this but with a goat instead of cow, and some cocouts lmao, literally a “coco-goat” milk backpack! She is now the cutest person in Liyue, everyone agrees, nearly every single person who comes into Bubu Pharmacy gives Qiqi a compliment now, and Baizhu will periodically take a break just so he and Changsheng can coo at her lmao (Qiqi made sure she wrote down in her notebook in big letters next to your name “This person made my cocogoat backpack, remember to thank them during prayer times, and collect lots of fresh herbs for them”)

Shenhe = It’s kind of a lot, but really, at this point, you’ve done more for some of the others so this probably isn’t even scratching the surface of how big of a gift you can give, so why not. Going full steam ahead, you furnish her a house at the edge of town, so that she’s not overwhelmed by all the human traffic/people, but still close enough to make the friends she wants! When you first show her the dining/living room so plenty of guests can come over, and begin to tour her through it, the strongest woman you’ve probably ever known gently holds your shoulders and stops you from speaking, and turns you to face her, Shenhe’s eyes are sharp with observation as they roam your face, and then settle on your own wide eyes. Her eyes soften, and a small smile warms her usual stern face, (idc how tall you are, she’s taller, I fucking promise) as she leans down a little to look at you closely in the eyes, “Thank you for being a kind god. You did not have to be so generous to me, and yet here you are. If you ever feel like you’re an outsider in Teyvat, in any country or company you find yourself in, please, promise me you’ll come here. Come home to me?” ✨💘✨

Ayaka = You manage to get her away from her duties to take her out to Sumeru! Mostly so you can introduce her to Nilou, see her performance, and the flourishing arts that now fill Sumeru City’s streets, and more importantly, a dress you made so she could dance with Nilou + dance on stage, she wasn’t confident enough/didn’t want to dance for a crowd, so it’s just you three or just you two after awhile. Ayaka looks the happiest she’s been in awhile, more so than you ever saw in game, and it’s… almost like a breath of fresh air to see her away from what you felt was such an isolating environment, even after the Vision Hunt Decree was over. For her last dance, Ayaka does so alone, a little after the sun has set, so it’s all blue, and the stars are coming out, finally, you get to see an even better version of the dance she gave the traveler that night. She only opens her eyes at the end, to give you the giddiest smile you’ve ever seen on her, cheeks cute and plumped up bc she’s smiling so hard, and bows to you (Ayaka’s thanked you a million times, but she doesn’t need to, you can feel how happy she is just from this)

Mika = THE BOY!! One of the most boys to ever boy in all of Teyvat!! Your boy!!! :D What a boy, he nearly fainted when you handed over his gift one day, and you had to reach out and steady him, then hand him it again 😭 It’s similar to the Marauder’s Map, since you enchanted it (once again, what’s the point of dev access if I can’t make gifts for my skrunklies?) and since you don’t want it to end up in bad hands/get spyed on, it only shows itself with a phrase as well “I wish upon a golden star, to know this land as well as its player.” and it’ll show him everyone in public spaces in Mondstadt, not private homes, but like the plaza, the church, the Knights of Favonius, etc. He thanks you every single time he sees you for the map, as it’s both fascinating to him to have a proper well-drawn map of the city of Mondstadt (you copied it from the Teyvat in game map, but there were some buildings missing bc they’re more real here/more fleshed out as a irl city) but that just made Mika even happier bc he can go and map them out!! Literally can’t talk to you bc all he’s saying is “T-TH-TH-THANK-THANK YOU ALL FURST-!!!” before running away most of the time lol

Layla = An embroidered tiny pillow for her to easily clip onto her bag/fit in it, and take on the go with her! (this but the text just says “Sweet Dreams Layla ♡” ) that you’ve also added scent to, including some sleep inducing magics, so she’s guarenteed to sleep well and efficiently when she uses it! She blushed so hard you thought she was sick at first when you gave it to her, and she also used the pillow as a shield to hide her face as she thanked you lmao, and she made you a pillow in return! …even if she thinks it’s not as good as yours, both craft wise and function, Layla worked for weeks on it! …lol now ur the one hiding ur face behind a pillow (this but they’re all plants of sumeru)

Aloy = …if you had a nickel for every person you’ve provided with a house, you’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice… Poor damn heroine just got dragged from one world to the next, just as the last one finally was at peace, now she’s here in Teyvat, where nothing’s familiar, the entire world is set up different, people are nicer and more open here, and there’s still threats looming on its horizon. Needless to say, she is tired, and misses her own homeworld. You really wish on her behalf that Hoyo hadn’t done a crossover, but since she’s here, you figure you might as well make it easier on her. You’ve made another teapot-like adeptal magic container, so she can have a place all to herself, and given her a ticket to your own, afterall, if anybody knows what’s its like to get yanked to another world, specifically Teyvat, it’d be the travelers and yourself, and sure enough as time goes one, Aloy becomes closer with you all, and begins to finally feel a sense of familiarity, she wraps an arm around your shoulders the first time she saw you tried to make her own personal teapot place emulate her homeworld. The widest grin you’ve seen on her face, she gives you a squeeze, “It’s just been one adventure after the next, and when we started out, you were just another stranger in a world I didn't understand. But after everything we've been through, I can say this for certain: My bow is yours, now and always. Thank you for the second home, my king.” Aloy says teasingly, laughing at the face you make.

Geo Allogenes:

Noelle = goddamn when will the busy women trend END these poor souls Motherfucker, you’re gift to Noelle was to knight the damn girl yourself. No, but you nearly talked Jean’s ear off for an hour, after gathering evidence (both from eyewitnesses, and Noelle herself, including other knights and Jean herself) about why the literal fuck Noelle wasn’t a Knight of Favonius yet, and why she should be. After genuinely shaking Jean’s nerves a little, she agreed, and finally, Noelle was going to knighted along with any other potential recruits during the testing season, (as people with high reputations, which, once again, using your god status for all its worth, could recommend new recruits) but most importantly… You gave her a 5-star claymore, which, you do have to somewhat work on yourself physically in teyvat now, but your dev access lets you cheat a little (like the cooking meter on cooking dishes, you’re the goddamn cooking god when hosting guests hehe) so you also are allowed to edit it, like adding a Geo-bonus to the weapon itself! When the ceremony for knighthood was going, and pretty much all of Mondstadt came to finally see Noelle get knighted, you made a fun show of walking out where you were hiding and replacing Jean, to knight Noelle yourself. She’s gone completely red in the face, and is starting to sway a little in her down on one knee position, as you gently place the blade on both shoulders, and grin at her as you turn and pull out the claymore for her. She actually does end up falling over, pale as a ghost, whoops-

Albedo = internet access so he can become a fucking god basically the alchemist is a hard guy to make a gift for, another person you’re a little afraid high-quality handmade gifts would impress him more… so you worked hard, and eventually you managed to make three big notebooks for Albedo, one with lined paper, one bulleted, and one blank for sketches (you did the title page a decent sketch of his pretty face smiling and “For Albedo” underneath, and while that one had a picture, the other two had just the words) and you also loaned him your cellphone for awhile, and suggested the idea of a laptop to make for himself, as he already managed to get you connected to Earth’s internet again, that’s part of the reason you customized/made him notebooks, so he could research from the internet and write down any notes he wanted! …wow. you really did it. after explained all this, and leaving him notes about the laptop idea as loose paper stuck inside one of them, you managed… to get Albedo to… smile. At you. Like a FULL smile, pretty lips, wide smile, and flushed cheeks-!! Albedo caught the notebooks you almost dropped.

Ningguang = what do you get the woman that has everything? so you started to think of things that’d make an experience, and after remembering her lore about her making a chess game, you decided a board game would be good! And if you make the little pieces, it’d be one of a kind too! (she’s the type that really loves handmade gifts/as long as you put effort in it doesnt matter how “bad” it looks to her, she’ll believe it’s still good <3) …So you made a Teyvat version of Monopoly. You figured the business part would be in her realm of expertise, and maybe she could use it to play with business associates or friends, and of course, she’s a competitive woman, so she thinks it’s great, and even asked permission that a marketable version be made (one that’s not nearly as nice quality as hers from you obviously)! Ningguang also treated you very well as a thank you for making it for her, a nice dinner at Liuli Pavilion, with a useful gift of places you haven’t seen in Teyvat yet bc it’s more expansive now that you’re physically here!! You may have gotten over-excited about it… and she may have chuckled at you… and you may have gotten flustered after she rested her pretty hand on yours for nearly half the dinner as you stuttered thru and explanation of the game…

Zhongli = …what do you get the man that has everything (ningguang problem 2.0)?? Well, since you thought of something for her that was an experience a little bit, yet also one of a kind, you figured the same path for the previous God of Wealth/literally invented money/etc. would do, plus he’d the type to deeply appreciate handmade gifts too! Using a few chunks of Light Realm Core, 3 Masterless Starglitter, 1 Intertwined Fate, and 1 Condensed Resin, to make a nigh indestructible Ginko leaf hair pin, which also to replace his last pin, which while not broken, was getting old and beat up (he’s immortal he doesn’ notice these things unless they’re like magically long lasting items lol). But in a few spots are these peach beads like this instead of all white beads, like on the ring both have symbols of longevity, and are usally associated with immortals, you wanted to make something that’d also hold memories (hence the resin, from leylines) so if the erosion ever took him, Zhongli could hold the pin and see some of his favorite memories played back (like misty glittering gold projections)! When you told him all this, the materials, (he obv knew the symbols) and the intentions, and then handed him the gift, his soft smile got bigger and bigger, until you could see him small fangs (❤️‍🔥) and then he turned around? You were confused, until he look over his shoulder, his eyes flashing gold in the sunlight, “Will you do me the honor, my Emperor?” OH- you unclip his old geo cor lapis one, and pull his hair up into more of a low bun, and put the hair piece in. the golden ginko leaves chime softly in the breeze. The old god turns back to you (idc how tall you are, he’s taller, and he had to crouch a little so you could reach lol) and gives you that blinding, beautiful smile again, the kind that makes his eyes look warm and happy. He takes your hand delicately, like you’re made of something fragile instead of stars and magic stronger than any he’s ever seen, “Truly, you bless me too generously, my Emperor. Thank you, for caring for a forgotten god like me, for caring about my heart.” …Zhongli presses a soft chaste kiss to your knuckles, right on the middle finger’s knuckle, his lips are warm and so, so soft, like they’re barely even there. <3

Yunjin = a bit difficult because she’s so theater focused in life, but you figure since she does solo shows a lot, she’ll still be the one to benefit the most from your gift, you made some floating plaustrite lanterns to help heft some platforms for more stage space/cool effects! (this but a little more detail, you painted some bamboo and a few simple adepti on them) Like putting props up there or lights to aim on actors, or even actors themselves since the floating rock is steady enough! Yunjin practically squealed (which immediately made every actor in the vicintity be like “YUNJIN!! UR VOICE WILL GO HOARSE STOP-”) and gather the whole troupe to thank you! But she especially told you that although she already intended for you to have front row seats every time you came to see her plays, she especially wanted to get some stories from your life, or even just your favorites from Earth for her to perform for you!! (she even suggested that one of the platforms could be your special seat, like an opera box seat lol)

Itto = you know that belt buckle he wears that’s just an Oni head? Yeah, you made him a second belt but with a onikabuto beetle as the buckle instead! (kinda like this) but a small enough it’s not inconvenient and poking his stomach, which you definitely got a Inazuman blacksmith to help out, you mostly painted it, and when you show Itto the belt, mans literally just wraps his buff arms around you like a hug but then just starts spinning you rapidly, and lets out the highest pitch “EEEEEEEEEEE-!!!” you’ve ever heard him make (and you’ve given him a few trinkets before, so this is a new record wow). No, it doesn’t matter to Itto how much you weigh, have you seen his abs?! He says as he’s still got you a little off the ground, and is now walking away with your limp body and wearing his new belt, “This, and a proper meal to thank you are the bare minimum, my wonderful emperor! Come on, the gang’s already there anyway, you gotta try my Granny Oni’s food, and I’ll make something too! My best, most special, sandwich, Way of the Strong!! Y’know, because if anybody deserves it, it’d be the strongest, and sweetest, you!!”

Gorou = since teyvat isn’t exactly the pinnacle of advanced civilization, though there are some advancements sure like the Kamera, there are still a fair amount of things that’re just left up to locals to produce and make using whatever process they’ve got, regardless of efficiency, and one of those is soap. Yep, soap. Earth is more advanced when it comes to beauty products, but also hygiene products, and Gorou has a hard time maintaining his tail he’s said when he’s stressed/overworked. So, you used some knowledge from your interdimensional smartphone (love u Albedo) to find a homemade recipe to make soap! (…for dogs, but you don’t know if he’d find it offensive… so you don’t tell him LMAO) and you even made it a cute shape (just so when you handed it over, he’d open it and of course, go all red all the way down his neck even, hehe, (he secretly liked it)

You towards all of Teyvat, except it's not even their birthdays (idk if u want it to be it can)

☆

PLEASE LET KNOW IF ANY LINKS/PICS ARE INACCURATE FOR A CULTURE/MISLABELED ETC.

Me after writing all this:  _」(´ཀ`」 ∠)__

… so I may have hyperfixated a little too hard on this one.

Did the OG asker want this? …probably not…

Did anyone ask for this?? …no.

…did I do it anyway….…yes.

…sorry?

(I promise I only thought to do this because there are so many characters left out in favor of the more popular ones for most SAGAU posts, and bc i never want any of my babes to feel any less loved than any others if I was actually there in Teyvat… you get… this mess.)

sorry!

☆

Safe Travels,

💀♒

☆MY BELOVEDS☆

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

#wow #im so sorry #i just wanted the lesser written abt characters to be here #did i hyperfixate bc i like giving thoughtful gifts and i love my allogenes #maybe #debatable #perhaps #YOU CANT JUDGE ME I DID THIS FOR YOU #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #anon if ur out there im so sorry #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin impact reverse harem #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin platonic #genshin poly

[angelltheninth]

Dragon Love

Pairing: Malleus Draconia x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, biting, breeding kink, possessiveness, dragon fae mating cycles, touch starved Malleus

Word count: 2k

Ao3

A/N: I found this dragon man randomly, I feel hard, I can't wait for Disney+ to release the anime so I fawn over him even more. I also just really like the evil lime green color, it always makes characters more aesthetically pleasing for me.

He wasn't in class that day, which was only slightly unusual for Malleus. Yeah he was more magically gifted that some of the other students but since you became friends he started to come out of his shell a little more. And well... you really looked forward to seeing him and maybe finally asking him to the annual dance.

"Oh Mall, he sick today. Might be out of commission for a few days, the poor boy." For as bad as Lilia made it sound he sure brushed it off quickly, "He'll be fine after a few days."

"Should he see a doctor then?"

"No, it's... a specific sickness to... his kind. Don't worry your pretty little head about it alright, you'll see him again before you know it." Lilia patted your head before he headed down the hall.

It still didn't seem right to you, just going about your day without even paying your sick friend a visit. You do just that the moment class lets up, running ahead of the rest to the dorm and up to Malleus' door. You can hear painful grunting sounds coming from inside.

"Mall?" You slowly open the door and take a look inside. The bed is messy, pillows and sheets everywhere but where they should be, in fact the whole room is a mess, it's quite unlike Malleus. Where is Malleus though. "Mall? Lilia told me you were sick? I came to check up on- gah!"

A hand reaches out from behind the door and pulls you in, slamming the door shut behind you. You feel a warm body pinning you to the cold wall and those same grunting sounds next to your ear. Before you stands Malleus, looking... out of breath and very disheveled. He usually takes great care in his appearance, but today his hair is untied, spilling over his back, his naked upper body is covered with sweat, his claws digging into your wrists, his mouth open in a snarl and showing off his pointy fangs. He looks wild, primal.

"What..." His voice is deeper than you ever heard it, "What are you doing here?"

"Um... Lilia said you're not feeling well but wouldn't give me the details, so I came to see for myself." His eyes flash green at something, and for a moment you feel his touch grow even warmer.

"You're here to see me?" He sounds hopeful, happy, "Truly? You're here for me?"

"Well yes?" A dazed grin spreads across his face, his face growing pinkish.

"I was hoping you would." His lips find your neck quickly, a warm tongue licking across your skin, "I've been waiting. It's painful to endure alone. But now you're here. I've never done this before but I promise to make it good for you, my lovely little rose petal."

His hands leave your wrists and sneak under your skirt, leaving goosebumps across your skin, "I don't understand."

"My mate. It's you. It's always been you. Please, love. Let me make this good for you. Make you mine." He didn't even seem to register your words, seemingly lost in the fog of his own lust, teeth scraping across unmarked skin.

Oh. He's... he's in heat. You know that fae go through them a few times a year, but this is the first time you've heard of Malleus going through one.

"You want me?" Sure you knew he liked you well enough to be your friend but to be his mate, to spend his heat with him, that's a big step from friends.

"Of course. You're the only one I want." He parted your thighs and pressed his bulge against your core, the subtle jerk from his cock evidence of his desire, "And what of you? You want me as well? I can... I can smell you. Fuck, it's driving me insane."

You moan as he grinds his hips against you, only making the ache between your legs worse, "I actually... wanted to ask you to the dance."

"The dance?" You see him glance at you out of the corner of his eye, "Ah. I can... I can take you. And anything else you want. Just..." A growl tears from his throat, "Tell me I can. Tell me I can have you. Tell me that you want to be mine."

You gulp, sensing that there's a lot of power in those words. After a beat of silence goes on for a moment longer Malleus whines, his claws digging into your skin, trying to ground himself while also trying to find relief by grinding against the source of heat between your legs.

You move some of his hair from his neck, finding his pulse point, hot under your lips as you suck a bruise on the pale skin, the taste making your vision blurry with lust.

"You can have me." You husk against his skin, licking up a path to his ear and nibbling.

"And you me, my love." Malleus bit into your neck, his fangs breaking skin just a little before licking over the bruise, fire traveling through your body, desire wrapping around you like creeping vines, "Mine. Mine. I'll make you mine." Malleus growled into your ear as he lifted you up by your thighs, hips rolling into each other as he carries you to the bed. "Off. I want everything off."

Melleus is very eager in his quest to get you naked as soon as possible, so much so that most of the buttons of your uniform end up flying as he tears your jacket and shirt open. He doesn't bother to open it up all the way, just enough to reveal your bra clad breasts. As for your skirt, it's quickly pulled down your legs along with your shoes and stockings.

He seems a bit too eager, thrusting against you even with the barrier of his pants and your panties. He growls in annoyance, eyes glowing green.

You chuckle, "Let me." Your hands travel down his chest and stomach to unbuckle his belt and ease his pants and boxers down. Malleus lets out a hiss now that his cock is finally free of its constraints, standing tall and hard, the head an angry red color as cum trickles down. You trace a finger along the underside all the way to the tip and along the slit. "It feels hot."

Malleus groans as you give his cock an experimental stroke, making more of his cum leak out. A warning growl startles you as you were about to start running your hand up and down his length, "No. Inside. All of it. I don't want to waste a single drop." His eyes zero in on the wet spot on your underwear. He licks his lips as he eases them down your thighs, a string of arousal breaking the further down he pulls, until he tears them apart just above your knees, "They were in my way."

You chuckle, "Eager are we?" You pull him down into a sweet, slow kiss, savoring his warm tongue against yours, the nip of his fangs against your lips. Your hands circle around his neck as you feel him part your thighs and slot in-between them. His touch is so hot against your skin, igniting fire in your veins. "I need you inside."

There's a green glint in his eyes, his pupils narrowing to barely visible slits, a wide grin spreading across his features, "Of course you do my love. Let me make your desires a reality." He pushes his pants and underwear further down past his knees, not even having the patience to take them off fully. He lines himself up with your entrance, running his cock through your folds to coat it in your wetness. "Apologies for being rough in advance, my love."

He waits for your nod before pushing his cock inside, all the way inside, not leaving an inch between your hips.

The stretch isn't too painful, but the rough pace in which he slid in was. Your nails scratching into his skin was more than expected, and seemingly welcomed by him. His claws dig into your hips as he starts to move back and forth, using just as much force as the initial thrust, showing no signs of slowing down or easing up. "It's so tight. Is it always like this? Or is it only me? Does your cunt know it belongs to me now?" The words make you twist your hips, try to keep up with him, "Yeah? You tightened around me, do it again, let me feel you around my cock."

You gladly comply, watching as Malleus throws his head back, his mouth open in a smile, his fangs glinting in the dim sunlight, "Can you..." You groan, "I want you... to bite me."

Malleus licks his tongue across his fangs, bending down close to your face, which makes his cock hit at a slightly different angle and make your eyes roll back. His teeth find the front of your bra and pull, tearing it up again and again like he was a feral beast. You flush as you feel his hungry gaze on your breasts. His tongue flicks over your left nipple, twirling the stuff bud before his warm lips envelop around it and suck, briefly before his teeth nip at the underside of your breast.

As he lavishes your breasts with kisses and little bites, moving from one to the other his hands press against your thighs, pushing them further apart so he can thrust faster, deeper, his balls slapping against your skin every time he sinks his cock inside you.

"You're gonna look so pretty when I'm done. Covered with marks, filled with so much cum. Over and over until you're pregnant." The words made you clench around him, make you arch your back and push your breasts closer to his mouth. "I'll make sure every knows you belong to me. That I'm the only one whose cock gets to be inside this tight fucking cunt of yours. I'll make it mine with my cum. Make you mine by making you come all over my cock. And you want to don't you? You want to fall apart on my cock."

"Yes. Fuck. I want everything. Give me all of you, please." You pull up toward you, lips finding his neck again, biting down as hard as your can. Malleus groans and growls, his hips hammering away into yours, until he feels you fluttering around his cock. He doesn't stop, not even for a moment, not even as he starts to spill his seed inside you, "Fill me up handsome." And he does, he fucks every last drop of cum into you as your cunt tries to take all of it, pulsing around him, feeling full yet taking more and more, your orgasm feeding into each other and prolonging the pleasure.

His fangs find the base of your neck and bite. Hard. He moans as he tastes copper on his tongue, groaning as his orgasm begins to fade. "Love you." He whispers as he licks the blood off your neck, his pace now slow, a little sluggish but still very much intent on helping you ride out your orgasmic high.

You feel his body slump against your, enveloping you in warmth, he's careful as he moves his head, not wanting to poke you with his horns by accident. A deep groan leaves your lips when he pulls his cock out. He looks down in awe as some of his cum trickles out, "God." His eyes travel up your body, still hungry for you.

A smile dawns across your face from the intensity of his gaze, "Come here." He slides into your open arms, curling into you like a kitten, inhaling your sweet scent.

"How long until you can go again?" You feel his cock twitch against your inner thigh. This is gonna be a long few days, and you're pretty sure you're gonna need his help to walk by the end.

#twisted wonderland #malleus draconia #twst x reader #twst headcanons #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst smut #twst malleus #malleus headcanons #malleus x reader #malleus hcs #malleus smut #malleus draconia x reader #malleus draconia smut

[positively--speculative]

It's really unfortunate that a number of people (mostly white people) in the IWTV fandom here on Tumblr seem to have this watered down view of the gothic genre as "cool, sexy monster stuff." I mean, yeah. That's *part* of it, but that's like, a very high school Hot Topic view of it. I mean, nothing wrong with liking the stuff you did in high school or Hot Topic, but it shows a lack of a deeper understanding.

I know I've ragged on Anne Rice a lot here, but I honestly think that this is partly her responsibility. Did she craft interesting characters? Yes. Did she give them flaws? Yes. But does she do a good job of challenging them? Not really. In fact, the way she frames then makes it seem like they're not flaws at all. I can accept the fact that slavery was normalized in Louis time, but I cannot accept the idea if no one in the story challenging it. It is not unreasonable for Daniel to be attracted to Louis during the interview, but at the very least, he should be uncomfortable with his attraction to him. Sometimes bad people are still attractive. That's an uncomfortable truth. But AR doesn't handle it this way. She never addresses it.

So, it's really not hard to understand why her fandom carries such limited views on uncomfortable matter, because her writing didn't challenge them to feel uncomfortable with their attraction to Louis. To Lestat. To even fucking Marius (who I won't get into here. Other people have already written about him here and have done so better than I can). AR made the sexy vampire books, and her fans just go along with all the awful things they do because, hey, they're monsters and it's cool because they live outside human expectations of morality (even though Louis was awful before becoming a monster). AR presents shock value, but doesn't address what's shocking. Her fandom, in fact, seems to take pride in illustrating no shock over what is shocking. This, in my opinion, is an illustration of *failure* to create an effective gothic story.

The show does a much better job, in my opinion, at presenting something gothic. I, a Black biracial woman of the audience, should not be attracted to Lestat. But I *am.* I shouldn't be attracted to Louis, but I *am.* I shouldn't be looking at their family dynamic with Claudia in her earlier days as a vampire through heart-shaped lenses, but I *do.* And it's uncomfortable. It's supposed to be. And I think Daniel's character does a good job of bringing the audience back into the horrible reality of the situation and causes us to check ourselves.

And I think white fandom really does a disservice to Jacob Anderson *AND* Sam Reid by trying to argue with Black fandom over the subject of race. Racism is a central theme in this version of the story. But they don't want us to talk about it, because they're uncomfortable with it. They'd rather pretend it doesn't exist and doesn't need to be discussed. But it's *supposed* to make them uncomfortable. They're just not used to seeing the benefits of being challenged, because AR never did. And unfortunately, they're missing out in a very fulfilling part of enjoying the story because they want to keep themselves in a little bubble where they can pat each other on their backs for not being shocked by shocking things and never growing as people.

#Gothic genre #Anne Rice #Iwtv #Iwtv amc #amc interview with the vampire #Jacob Anderson #Sam Reid #Fandom racism #Anti-Blackness #Loustat #Lestat #lestat de lioncourt #Interview with the Vampire #Literary Criticism #louis de pointe du lac

[devine-fem]

I kinda love your internalized homophobia Damian hc... It makes so much sense

In Damian's cultures homosexuality is a very "don't show,don't tell" mindset ingrained into their society. Not only in Arab and Asian culture,but brown culture as a whole. I feel like as a queer brown person I can absolutely say in this white dominated fandom,queer yt ppl dont really understand how culture will affect how you see queerness. It's not exactly a bad thing too,just a fact of life that affects queer brown ppl.

I think the only way Damian would see lgbt matters is that they're something that's there,but not as important in his mind compared to other subjects.

Like I believe Damian's VERY knowledgeable on women's rights and women's struggles not only because of how integral it is to history but because he grew up with a single mother who faced those issues in her life. You can't tell me Talia raised him otherwise- plus the only other child he had contact with was his female cousin,who undoubtedly faced such issues while Damian didnt. He would want to learn from her perspective as well,since it's a learning opportunity AND to understand his family on a deeper level.

On lgbt history however,Damian has no experience with. He understands that people have other experiences and partners than the heteronormatity he's grown up with,but he definitely wouldn't understand things like pride month. It's just something he has no experience of,so ofc he's not gonna understand.

It's just like western culture,which Damian clearly has troubled assimilating into. I know there's countries that have "lax" visions on homosexuality,but for YEARS Damian didn't even show romantic interest in girls. Why would he show interest in learning about homosexuality in his cultures if he barely sees ANYONE as romantic interests? Honestly I can see Damian looking at girls and boys similarly for years: they're just people. And Damian struggles to be vulnerable with people,no matter the sex or gender.

I also see Damian not understanding when he gradually sees boys and girls in the same way ROMANTICALLY. It'd be a very hard pill to swallow. Not only is it a whole new experience,but now he's different compared to all of his family members. AGAIN!! This hc has my heart now bc of how much it'd stick to his character struggles,and in dur time,the acceptances he'll make with them...

Tldr: yr hc is very valid and very humanizing!!

Yes, internalized homophobia Damian will always be the strongest horseman. I always write him with internalized homophobia, I mean it barely changes anything.

A lot of people scream that it’s problematic that Damian doesn’t know queer culture but it’s just not true. I fully embrace that part of his character and will always perpetuate that propaganda.

It will always be interesting breaking down any facet of Damian’s relationship with his sexuality. Some things he’s done and said in regard to his sexuality I see right for him in canon, others not so much but internalized homophobia is definitely a something that reigns supreme for me.

#damian wayne #asks

[takeme-totheworld]

Different Exactlies

Here's the thing. I believe that Aziraphale acts the way he does in the final fifteen because he has not fully deconstructed his programming from Heaven. (He has, very obviously, deconstructed significant pieces of it, or he wouldn't have helped stop Armageddon. But deeper more foundational pieces, like "Heaven is the side of good," are still stubbornly clinging on.)

I believe this partly because Occam's Razor—it seems pretty apparent to me that that is what the final fifteen is meant to show us, and it would not in any way be out of left field because we have a wealth of evidence throughout history of Aziraphale's long-term struggle with this exact thing—and partly because that is very much my own story, so it's not at all hard for me to accept that a character I like and relate to could be ensnared by something like this.

So I think that a big part of his remaining character journey in S3 needs to be, and will be, that he fully unlearns/lets go of/renounces the pieces of Heaven's toxic ideology that still have their hooks in him.

But the reason I want to see him do that is for him.

Not because it would give me some deep emotional satisfaction to see him Realize How Wrong He Was and be shattered by guilt and go crawling on his hands and knees back to Crowley. (It would not. In fact, if the story went that way it would fuck me up badly, tbh.)

No, I want to see him let go of Heaven's toxic ideology for his own healing and happiness and freedom. I want it to be joyful and empowering, I want to see him realize that Heaven's twisted morality is cruel and that his own inner moral compass has always been better, which means he's finally free to fully let go of his loyalty to an institution that has only ever hurt him. Once that happens, he won't be vulnerable to their manipulation anymore. Yes, Heaven will still be there and they will still be dangerous, but he will finally have the inner freedom to do what he needs to do to resist them without feeling guilty or conflicted about it.

This kind of intense indoctrination is a mental prison. When you've spent your entire life being indoctrinated into a deeply toxic and damaging mindfuck of a worldview like a controlling/fundamentalist religion, your indoctrinators have essentially put you inside a prison, told you that it's actually a palace, and then trained you (and heavily incentivized you) to fight to remain inside it.

People on the outside don't tend to focus on this aspect—understandably, they tend to focus on the fact that the indoctrinated person's behavior often frustrates or even hurts the people around them. But someone who has been heavily programmed to believe a damaging worldview is first and foremost a victim, and they need to unlearn the toxic beliefs they've been taught so that they can break out of their own mental prison. (And if they have in fact been an agent of serious harm, then yes, it's also reasonable to want them to make some sort of apology or amends for that. But they need to get free themself first.)

Which is all very different from saying "They need to learn better so that they realize how wrong they were and feel bad about it." That's not ever what I'm saying when I talk about this. I know it's probably what some people are saying, at least in part, but...y'know. Different exactlies.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #the final fifteen #aziraphale #religious indoctrination #religious deconstruction

[queerfables]

I have this thought that's simmering in the back of my head, and there's some evidence for it, but I simply can't take myself seriously on it, because the idea hits my favourite tropes way too perfectly. I'm, like, 90% sure I should admit to myself that what I actually want is to write fic about this and skip the meta entirely. But apparently this is how I process things these days, so you get my wild projections masquerading as analysis first, and maybe if you're lucky some kind of story later.

So, Nina's partner, Lindsay. Not so much a person as an analogy, right? The consensus is that this relationship is a stand in for Aziraphale's relationship with Heaven, making Heaven the toxic partner holding Aziraphale back from finding real happiness. But the more I think about it, the more I feel like we've taken that assumption and worked backwards from it to prove that Nina is really Aziraphale's mirror and Maggie is really Crowley's.

Look, I realise that drawing the line from Nina to Crowley and Maggie to Aziraphale feels obnoxiously obvious. There are superficial similarities, but does it go any deeper than their general demeanour? When we look at how Nina describes Crowley and Aziraphale - the hard-bitten one who doesn't trust, the soft one who still believes in goodness - I think there's honestly a solid argument to be made that both descriptions could apply to either one of them. I don't think that's conclusive. The thing that's really giving me pause is that Crowley's car and Nina's shop both play Queen. It seems like such a clear signal that they're foils. There's also the fact that the partition around her shop has a very snake-like pattern embedded in it, quite similar in shape to Crowley's tattoo (a detail that pairs nicely with the apple-tree motif on the French restaurant next door).

If Nina is Crowley's mirror, does that mean that Crowley is the one trapped in a toxic relationship? And here's the part where I absolutely cannot trust my brain to give me sensible feedback, because the little gremlin who lives there immediately shuts off all higher functions at the first hint a character might be unwillingly beholden to a nefarious outside force. Especially if they are keeping it a secret.

Could Crowley have been blackmailed or coerced into working for Hell again, despite nominally being estranged from it? I literally could not tell you, because my brain is too busy yelling yes yes yes please oh my god yes. I just love the idea way too much to be rational about it.

I won't insult anyone by labeling this next section "supporting evidence", but here are some ways I think it could fit into canon as it's been established:

In light of my recent meta on how to think about Good Omen's twists, I've been ruminating on some of the big questions I have about season 2. And one of the ones that keeps jostling for my attention is, why are Crowley and Aziraphale not together yet? I don't mean that flippantly, what I mean is - I believe that Crowley and Aziraphale are both aware of the way they feel about each other, and have been for some time. If that's true, what's keeping them apart? Obviously there are quite a few potential answers to this, including the possibility that I'm wrong and they're not both consciously aware of their feelings for each other. But it's an idea I find compelling. They're not together because they're not free yet. And not just in a hypothetical looming threat kind of way.

When Beelzebub summons Crowley in 2x01, Crowley says "I thought we had a generalised understanding." Beelzebub replies, "We don't. You're still a traitor," and then goes on to threaten him with a bounty. The obvious implication is that the understanding they don't have is from the end of season one, that Hell will leave Crowley and Aziraphale alone. But what if it's a different kind of understanding? What if the subtext of Beelzebub's offer for whatever he wants is that he can have enough power to be free of whatever nasty little job he's supposed to be doing on the sly? (Not enough to break free of Hell entirely, though. Never enough for that.)

On the other hand, Crowley doesn't recognise Beelzebub's new face, but they must have been wearing it for a while given all their meetings with Gabriel. Is Crowley bound to the one demon higher than Beelzebub, then? Sorry, the gleeful brain gremlin is the only one available to take questions on this. It sure would be sexy, though, if both the power difference and the secrecy involved were as extreme as possible.

This is a weird little detail that probably doesn't mean anything, but when Aziraphale gets back from Edinburgh, it's early in the morning the day of the ball. The streets are mostly empty and Nina is just arriving for work. Aziraphale helps Crowley put the plants back in the Bentley, and at some point after this, Crowley takes the car and leaves. He must do, because we see him come back. Where did he go? He can't have been gone more than a couple of hours at most, because he arrives back in time to follow Aziraphale around convincing everyone to attend his ball. Okay, fine, maybe Crowley just needed to get away, relax somewhere there's no amnesiac archangel breathing down his neck. But the timeline is so short it seems like a strange detail. It makes me think that Crowley might actually have been hiding something, here. I don't know that this theory is the most likely explanation, but it sure could be an explanation.

And finally, for maximum angst potential, imagine Aziraphale finding out that after everything Crowley said about how toxic Heaven and Hell are, after all the grief he gave Aziraphale for returning to Heaven, that Crowley had been secretly working for Hell all along? WOOF.

#good omens #i am so sorry that there are some genuinely interesting meta details hidden in this self indulgent trash fire #by rights they should belong to something more sensible #but this is the meta we have #fable talks good omens #it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late and i'm posting this without reading it over again if i've left any sentences hanging no i didn't

[quinloki]

Kinktober 2023 - Finale

For today something a little... desperate.

Character: Izou, Marco, Thatch, Ace Reader: non-binary/afab Warnings: oral of both kinds, anal fingering, partial devil fruit transformation, brat-tamer getting topped, juggling five people was difficult -- Not edited or reviewed, sorry for how raw this might be!

Summary: Now there's all five - ends a little abruptly, but I needed to be done with it tonight cause I start NaNoWriMo tomorrow. Next Kinktober I might just re-write all these to flesh them out a little more >.>

Notes: It was an experience doing Kinktober like this for the first time. 25 of 31 items completed isn't a bad first go, especially with everything else that popped up in life and all.

1745 words

You came down from your earlier high and found yourself sitting in Marco’s lap. Ace and Izou were knelt on pillows, stomachs on Marco’s bed, bare asses in the air. Thatch was knuckles deep in Ace and Izou, and while the latter was taking it well, the former was practically clawing at the bed.

“If you wanted to top Izou as part of your celebration, hot shot,” Thatch hums. “You should’ve known there was going to be a catch.”

“Haa, ye-yeah,” Ace huffs, bucking back against Thatch’s hand involuntarily. “I just didn’t think that taking it why-while I guh-give it was going to-hnnngh! Thatch! You did that on purpose!” Ace snaps and Thatch just laughs.

“You need better control.” Izou says evenly. “He can’t mess with you if he doesn’t kno-know!” Izou hisses, sucking in a breath before leveling an unamused look at Thatch.

“Don’t dismiss my talents.” Thatch asserts with a wide grin. “So what do I get if you both cum before Ace rails you, eh Izou?”

“Revenge.” Izou warns icily.

Thatch hums, and Izou’s grip on the sheets tightens. He grumbles something under his breath, but you can’t make it out.

You look up at Marco who has an amused grin on his face. He looks down at you and his smile brightens.

“Feeling better, yoi?” He asks quietly.

You nod. “I… want to help Thatch.” You whisper back.

“Mm, cheeky lil’ thing, aren’t you?” Marco muses, helping you stand up before standing up as well.

“And what are you two doing?” Izou snaps. He’s not used to being at anyone else’s mercy, and his attempts to maintain his composure have him on edge.

“Helping, yoi.” Marco answers evenly. “Who do you want to help, pretty bird?”

“Ah… Ace.” You answer, having a hard time looking at Marco.

“Leaving me with the dragon, huh?” He muses, leaning down and whispering into your ear. “Not a choice that’ll protect you from me or Izou, pretty bird.”

You can feel the blood rush through you as you manage a soft smile. “No… probably not.” You admit, looking over at him for a second before walking over to Ace.

Working with Ace, you move so that you’re up against the bedside, in a position where you can suck his cock while Thatch continues to loosen him up. Marco does the same thing with Izou.

You can feel Ace’s body tense and shudder as you start to lick and suck him. He’s caught between Thatch’s fingers and your mouth, but he didn’t even ask you what you were doing when you settled against the bed.

“Too, too long,” Ace pants, his hips shifting a little as his need compels him to try and go deeper into your mouth. “Be-been too long.”

You grin as you kiss along his length. “Everyone keeps saying that. You all make it sound like you aren’t busy commanders.��

“Being, ahh-nngh, being understanding, isn’t go-going to save you.” Izou manages, a soft, shivering moan escaping his lips despite his best efforts.

“For someone not normally in this position, you’re enjoying yourself.” Thatch muses. “I wonder if me an’ Marco can’t push you over the edge before the brat loses?”

“Don’t you- Ahhhnnngh! Mar-Marco!” Izou gasps. “Trans-Transforming your tongue is che-cheating!” Izou’s hands were on Marco’s shoulders, and the doctor had an iron grip on Izou’s hips. Regardless of whatever the repercussions would be for forcing the primary dom in your little group to cum whether he wanted to or not, it was too hot for any of you to care.

The idea of Marco transforming just his tongue was driving into your brain, however, over everything else. You hummed against Ace’s cock, sucking and licking with a stronger need, fingers trailing heavily down the backs of his thighs.

“Hey, hey, don’t… duh… don’t – st-stop.” Ace’s voice shifts from pleading to airy, hands holding onto the bedding for dear life. You can feel his body tensing and trembling, and you know half the reason he’s losing control is because he’s keeping his flames under control.

“Seas and gods it’s too long.” Izou huffs, blood rushing under his skin and flushing his usually pale complexion red. “I can’t-.”

“I’m gonna cum!” Ace gasps.

“-better not spill a drop, bastard bird!” Izou growls. You can hear his words as Ace twitches in your mouth, cumming hot and fast as you focus on swallowing it all. Each twitch of your throat makes him gasp and squirm, caught between your mouth and Thatch’s fingers.

“Well, that was effectively a tie.” Thatch says, amusement dripping from his voice.

“You’re all on choppy water.” Izou grumbles, trying not to sound as satisfied as he is.

“You liked it, yoi.” Marco asserts as Izou steps away. You look over when Ace crumples to the floor to catch his breath and see Marco’s long phoenix tongue snake out from between his lips and wiggle at Izou.

Your hands go over your face, and you look away much faster than you mean to. You can feel the heat rushing through your body and the silence in the room means most of them have noticed. You can hear someone move, but it’s the warm breath against your shoulders that gives it away before you hear Marco’s voice by your ear.

“It seems I have something you… want, pretty bird.” He says the words softly, his fingers sliding down your arm.

“T-tonight’s for Ace.” You assert.

“Ace is getting what he wants, yoi.” Marco replies, arms already encircling you to lift you up onto the bed. “If you lay down here, you’ll have a front row seat, pretty bird.” He assures you, laying you down on the bed.

Izou lays down next to you. He’s regained his composure for the most part, but seeing him on his back like that is rare. His eye flit from you to Ace and he smiles.

“You’re both so cute.” He muses. “Stand there slack-jawed too long hot stuff, and I’m going to rescind my agreement.”

Ace snaps his jaw shut and shakes his head before he steps forward, taking Izou’s legs into his arms. You couldn’t shake the feeling that even though Ace was topping him, Izou was completely in control. He appeared beautiful and almost vulnerable laid out like that, but it was more like a cat showing its belly.

Warm hands against your legs pull your attention away from admiring Izou. Marco’s knelt between your thighs, and begins to kiss along the inside of them when you look at him. His gaze is holding yours and you shiver a little as the strange, long, partially transformed tongue slips across your skin.

“Ha-have you ever, uh… used that before?” You question softly.

Marco shakes his head. “Such small fine partial transformations are tricky, yoi. An arm or a leg is relatively easy compared to say, a single talon. A tongue without any other part of my head changing took some practice.”

“And when, pray tell, did you start practicing that?” Izou questions as Ace starts to push into him. “Ah, here, let me hold this.” He says, grabbing one of his legs and adjusting the angle for Ace a little.

Marco’s eyes shift from Izou back to yours. “Couple o’ years.” He answers pointedly and you hear Izou grunt.

The doctor’s long fingers spread your labia as he puts one of your legs over his shoulder. “Watch Izou, pretty bird.” He commands, and with great effort you manage to pull your eyes away from his. You catch Izou’s gaze as your lips part, letting out of a soft sigh as Marco places a warm kiss between your thighs.

He places kisses for a couple moments, not using his tongue, and purposefully dancing around your clit. He just keeps you spread open, his hot breath the only warning before he places another kiss on your soaking folds. Izou’s slender fingers weave between yours, holding your hand as Ace sighs.

“All the way in.” His voice is already shaky, and you can tell he’s trying his best to keep from cumming too fast. Even with the release you helped him with earlier, getting to top Izou was something Ace had talked about for a while.

“My turn.” Thatch says, setting his legs wide so he was low enough to push into Ace’s ass.

“Hnnngh… That’s! Haa, hhaaa-shit, this is almost too much!” Ace grunts, almost holding onto Izou more than he’s holding him into place.

“I warned you it was going to be intense.” Izou purrs, glancing over to Ace even as he continues to face you. “But oh no, you could handle it. Brave new second commander.”

“I – I can, I can!” Ace asserts as Thatch’s arms wrap around him from behind.

Thatch is enjoying himself, buried in Ace. He’s leaving little kisses against the younger man’s neck, letting his hands wander over Ace’s chest. “There,” he hums after a moment. “I’ll stay just like this, so you can treat Izou nice and fuck yourself on my cock, little firefly.”

You gasp. “Thatch you swa-swaaaah-swore!” You cry out as a strange sensation rushes you. Marco’s tongue is twisting and coiling in your pussy, but it’s also rubbing against your clit. Your body shivers at the rush of pleasure. The tongue inside you is smooth as far as you can tell, but the part against your clit is a little rough. It’s not painful, but it’s more than you’re used to.

Your free hand clutches the sheets as the fingers on your other hand tighten against Izou’s hand. His eyes shift away from Ace for a moment to regard you and he smiles.

“Our sweet little flower, look at you blooming already.” He muses before turning back to Ace. “You can move faster than that, I promise.”

“I… I know, it’s just,” Ace gasps, the rhythm of his hips stuttering a little before he finds a pace. “It’s so hot and tight.”

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Thatch husks his question into Ace’s ear, reaching beyond him to stroke Izou’s cock.

Ace starts to answer, but words fail him and he just nods.

“Keep moving,” Thatch urges. “He’s close when his brows start to knit. His lips will part a little as he breathes heavier the closer he gets. He’ll get prettier and prettier.”

“Until he buh-blooms.” Ace nearly gasps the words.

#Release the Quin #Kinktober 2023 #x reader #reader insert #Izou one piece #marco the phoenix #thatch one piece #portgas d ace

[elisysd]

Somewhere only we know – Keane

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

So, tell me when you're gonna let me in I'm gettin' tired, and I need somewhere to begin

The bottle of red wine brought by Charles had not lasted long and the two young adults had quickly found themselves a bit tipsy. They both laughed happily at every little thing, no matter how insignificant, and started a game of Q&A about each other's tastes. It was an opportunity for them to get to know each other a little better. It started with harmless questions, like their favourite colour. Red for Charles and yellow for Lyanna. But very quickly the conversation became deeper.

“Hey, if you hadn’t been a F1 driver, what would you be?”

“Architect, or anything that is remotely connected to art and building. What about you?”

“I don’t know to be honest. The only thing I’m good at is acting, I never thought of doing anything else. And with acting I can be so many different people. Like, once I was the daughter of a fisherman. I had to do so many research and I spent three weeks in Alaska, where the movie was shot to understand what it was like to live the way they do. It’s so different from what I was used to and it really was an eyed opening experience. Acting is all about knowing your character inside and out. I would not trade that for anything in the world.”

“What’s the toughest thing in your job?”

She hesitated briefly.

“Being away from my family. I’m used to it by now, but still, it’s not always easy especially when you are missing birthdays and family gathering. Yes, there are phone calls and texts but it’s not the same.”

“Yeah, I feel you. It’s the same for me. I’m a family guy but even if I have the chance to have my brothers travelling with me most of the time, it’s still hard. I chose this life; I can’t really complain.”

“That’s the thing with our jobs, we can’t complain because we are part of the lucky ones. So many people dream of being out our place and failed, it’s not fair to them to say that our lives suck when it’s not the case.”

“That and also my family sacrificed so much to see me fulfil my dream, I can’t let them down.”

“Can I ask you something really personal, Charles? You can tell me you don’t want to answer if I’m going to far.”

He nodded.

“Are you racing because that’s what you love more than anything or are you doing it because you don’t want to feel like you failed your dad and Jules?”

“I’d say a little bit of both. There is nothing that makes me happier than getting in the car and race, but I would lie if I said that being at Ferrari is my dream and only mine. It was our dream, to me, my dad and Jules. I want to stay there and win a championship with Ferrari for them.”

It was the first time he admitted to someone, even to himself but for some reason it just came so naturally with her. He knew he would not be judged. He didn’t have to be the guy who knew exactly what he was supposed to do. He didn’t have to pretend that he had his life figured out and mapped out. God knew she didn’t so he didn’t have to pretend in front of her. They could be two lost people together. She didn’t say anything and when Charles looked at her, he noticed that she was sound asleep.

Uncomfortable with the idea of leaving her alone with the door unlocked (he didn't feel like going through her things looking for the keys to the flat), he decided to settle down on the couch after putting Lyanna in bed. She was heavier than she looked, much to Charles' surprise, who winced when he took her in his arms. She was so deeply asleep and relaxed that her muscles had become heavy. Charles had taken this as a sign that she was perfectly comfortable in his presence, which pleased him.

Once back in the living room he grabbed a cushion that was lying on the floor and a blanket that was curled up on the armchair by the fireplace. He knew he was in for a bad night, but at least he was reassured that nothing would happen to the actress.

Indeed, the night was tough. If Charles had to rank the worst nights of his life, the one he had just spent would be in pole position. His back was stiff and every single bone in his body was aching. Every stretch he made to wake up his still sleeping body hurt like hell. Every movement was agony. As best he could, he stood up from the couch and gave it a nasty look. He had to say something to Lyanna about this.

Speaking of, he was surprised to not see her awake. The sun was already high in the sky and he could hear the bustling crowds outside the windows of the apartment. He slowly approached Lyanna's room and tried to listen to see if he could hear any noises behind the door indicating that she was awake. Nothing.

Faced with this silence, he took the initiative to surprise her by preparing breakfast. He was also hungry, which was probably the main reason why he found himself in front of Lyanna's fridge and kitchen cupboards, and noticed to his horror that they were empty. There was not a single thing he could do for breakfast. So he chose the next option: home delivery.

Lyanna was startled awake by the doorbell. The young woman was not expecting anyone, and it was with a pounding headache that she got out of bed.  Still groggy from the previous night's events and the alcohol consumed at the party and afterwards with Charles, she clumsily pulled on a sweatshirt that was lying on the floor. She fumbled for her phone, only to find it completely dead. The day was definitely off to a good start. The second thing that made her suspicious was the noise that seemed to come from the kitchen. On her guard, she quietly and slowly opened the door to her room and saw a sneaky figure in the living room. It took her a few seconds to realise that it was Charles.

“What the heck are you doing here?” she asked him, surprising him.

“Didn’t feel good about letting you alone with the door unlocked yesterday.”

“So you just stayed there? Where did you sleep?”

“Your couch. A couch that you should change if you want my opinion because it’s fucking uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, well it’s a couch it is not made to be slept on Charles. And I won’t change it, I’m not gonna stay here anyway.”

Her comment stopped Charles dead in his tracks as he held both coffees in his hands. For the first time he was truly aware that Lyanna would leave sooner or later. The young woman noticed the confused look on her friend's face and feared for a moment that she had said or done something wrong.

“It’s just that I didn’t realise that you were going to leave Monaco at some point.” He explained to her.

“Yeah, well I’m here to work, my life is in London. What were you thinking? That I was going to fall in love with Monaco and leave everything behind?” she said amused while laughing slightly.

“I don’t know what I was thinking to be honest. When are you leaving?”

“In a month exactly. I already booked my plane ticket to go back home. I can’t wait to sleep in my bed again. You travel a lot, you know how it is. When you’re away from home, what you miss the most is your bed.”

Charles absent-mindlessly groaned is response. She was genuinely happy to leave and he couldn’t help but to feel a little hurt. Of course that, deep down, he knew that she wasn’t here to stay but still, he didn’t want to have to tell her goodbye.

“I’m going to miss you, you know.” he confessed, a little abruptly.

She looked at him.

“Same. You made Monaco a little more bearable, but hey, I’m still here for now. Let’s not be sad for something that hasn’t happened yet!”

Charles then proceeded to explain to her that his season was about to start again and that in the next few days he would be doing a lot of travelling back and forth between Maranello and Monaco. He knew that he would have little time for her. This suited Lyanna perfectly as she was also very busy. But still, the two young adults were aware that the bubble in which they had isolated themselves over the last few weeks was about to burst and that reality was catching up with them at full speed.

“Well, I’d say, let’s make the most out of these three weeks.”

“You’re right. How do you feel about dinner? Out?”

She hesitated. There are some automatisms that you can’t get rid of, not matter how hard you try.

“ If I tell you that it won’t be in public and I can organize something where I can guarantee you it’ll only be the two of us, without any risks of being interrupted, does it reassure you?”

“You’re not going to rent out a place, are you? Because if so, let me tell you that it’s a boring cliché.”

He laughed.

“Who do you take me for?”

She arched an eyebrow in response.

“Okay, okay. But trust me on this one.”

“You are not going to give me the choice, so go ahead. But please, nothing too grand.”

“You are going to love it! I gotta go, I have some calls to make. I’ll text you the details later.”

Charles was excited that the young woman had agreed. He got up from the couch, put on his shoes awkwardly, under Lyanna's amused eye, and approached her, planting a kiss on her forehead before bursting out the door. Lyanna laughed silently and shook her head. She was curious to see what the Monegasque would prepare for her.

It was Arthur, Charles' younger brother, who was called in for the operation. Charles had thought big. He was going to take Lyanna to dinner at sea, on his yacht, away from the people and the constant bustle of Monaco. Nothing but them and the sea as far as the eye could see and the sunset. He hoped it would relax Lyanna and that she would enjoy the attention. But a part of him was anxious, nonetheless. What if she got seasick? What if she hated the ocean? What if she got sick from his cooking, he would blame himself. And at the same time, he wasn't taking any risks with pasta Bolognese. Unless she was vegan. He should have asked. Seeing his brother on the verge of panic, Arthur decided to have some fun and see how much stress he could add to his brother.

“You are aware that it looks like a date, right?”

“It’s not a date.”

“It sure looks like it.”

“It is not.”

“If you say so.”

“It’s a friendly date, then.”

Arthur groaned in response.

“Stop it.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“We’re just friends Arthur.”

“I believe you.”

“She is leaving soon anyway. And I’m gonna be busy with the end of the season.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

Charles sighed, clearly annoyed. Why did it seem so hard to believe that there was only friendship between him and Lyanna? For Charles, this friendship was far too precious and important to him to let it be ruined by any further desires. He didn't want a relationship for a long time. His priority was his career, the rest was irrelevant. And what was the point of starting a relationship when he knew he didn't have room for one in his life? No, really, he and Lyanna would never be anything more than friends. And that was just fine.

“Come on, make yourself useful, go and sweep the floor for me.” he commanded his brother.

“You owe me 50 euros for that!” complained Arthur.

Lyanna got a text from Charles the morning after asking her to wear something casual but dressy at the same time. He could not be vaguer if he wanted to. So it was a lost Lyanna who called her childhood best friend Emilie to ask her advice and to summarize the situation, which already took her a good hour.

“You do know that it’s a date, Lya?”

“It’s not. It’s a friendly outing away from people so I can be comfortable. It’s thoughtful.” the actress tried to justified.

“He definitely wants to bang you girl. No guy is this nice with a girl unless he’s trying to get her into bed.”

“Charles is not like that.” Defended Lyanna.

“Darling, I love you but you’re so naïve sometimes.”

“Is it so hard to believe, hum? That he wants to be my friend? You’re friend with a lot of guys and I’ve never told you anything about it!”

“It’s not the same.”

“How so?”

“Okay. I did some research on him. And don’t be mad…”

“Emilie…” groaned Lyanna.

“This guy seems to be a walking red flag. I looked at his dating history and it doesn’t look good.”

“Well perfect because I don’t want to be a part of that. Again we’re just friends. Nothing else.”

“Yeah well, he was also friends first with is exes … I’m just saying be careful okay. I don’t want you to end up like how you ended up when you broke up with James.”

“I won’t. Charles is a nice guy, really. I trust him and you know how hard it is for me to trust people. It means something, right?

“I still don’t like him but I won’t change your mind so I give up, for now.”

“Thanks, and I’ll prove you wrong about him just wait and see.”

Emilie gave up and after another hour of facetime going through the contents of Lyanna's wardrobe, the choice was made for an emerald green linen short jumpsuit with a bare back. White wedge sandals and some silver bracelets completed the outfit.  Lyanna wore her hair in a braid and chose to leave her face bare, without makeup. She liked herself better this way.

“Good luck for your date that is not a date. I want to know every single details as soon as you come back.”

“Promise. And thanks again. He is supposed to be picking me up real soon. I have to go.”

She was about to hang up when her friend interrupted her.

“Hey Lyanna…”

“Yes?”

“I just want to see you happy, okay. I know that I can be a little protective over you but I just don’t want to see you heartbroken again.”

“It won’t happen. I promise you.”

“And if Charles is really honest, ask him to talk to you about his exes, okay? Because from an external point of view, his past relationships make him look like a jerk.”

“If the opportunity comes up I will if it can make you feel better. I really gotta go though, love you.”

“Love you too. Have fun but not too much fun.”

“Yes mom!”

They quickly exchanged their goodbyes before hanging up. One last look in the mirror before meeting Charles outside, a few blocks away from the residential building, a long and deep breath and she was ready.

“A Fiat 500? Really?”

Those were her first words when she saw him, dressed in a plain blue shirt, a pair of white trousers and his Ray ban sunglasses hanging loosely from his collar. He was standing proudly next to the car, a smile beaming on his face.

“I thought that the Pista wasn’t really giving ‘we want to stay on the lay low’ kind of vibes. So I rented this! What do you think?”

“Are we both going to fit in there? Or will we have to squeeze because it seems so tiny.” she said with a grimace.

“Oh come on, I know a lot of people who would be overjoyed at the idea of being stuck with me in this box.”

“Your ego doesn’t need me to feed it.”

“I’m wounded Lyanna. Deeply.” he replied with both hands on his chest, pretending to have been mortally injured.

The young woman laughed heartily and patted him on the back of the head before opening the passenger door and getting into the seat. The journey was made in silence, only punctuated by the music coming from the radio. They soon arrived not far from the harbour where Charles parked the car before beckoning Lyanna to follow him. A few metres further on, they stopped in front of Charles' yacht.

“Tadam!” he exclaimed.

“Your yacht. Are you playing to kill me and throw my body in the water?”

“Ah ah, smartass. I hope you’re not seasick and you like pasta because that’s what we are going to eat. I planned a little trip on the water. I told you I was going to find a way to give us privacy and still enjoy being out.”

“I have to admit, well done. I didn’t think you were that resourceful.”

“I’m full of surprises. Stick around and you might find more.”

Charles was the first to climb aboard before reaching out to Lyanna who took it, having little confidence in the bridge between the boat and the mainland. Charles' firm hand in hers did not prevent her from wavering slightly as she stepped onto the yacht. Her hip bumped against the rail and she winced in pain. Although she didn't have a bruise there, David's grip on the red carpet had left her muscle sore. 

“You’re okay?” asked Charles.

“Yeah, I’m fine don’t worry. I’m just a little sore here, nothing bad though. I’ll survive.”

“A bad fall? I have a good doctor if you need one.”

“I’m not made on paper Charles, I’m fine, okay. Just drop it, please. David just has a strong grip, that’s all. He hurt me a little.”

“What do you mean ‘he has a strong grip’? Charles asked with a frown.

The actress briefly explained to him, without going into the details of their altercation, what had happened with David on the red carpet. But her explanation did not seem to please Charles who tried to ask her more precise questions, feeling that the young woman was not telling him everything.

“Lyanna, I’m just going to be straightforward but has he been violent with you? Physically.”

“Oh no Charles, you’re not going to act like a watchdog with me, okay. I won’t allow it. He is just an arrogant asshole; I’m not scared of him. And you’re certainly not going to stick your nose into my business.”

He grumbled a little but, anxious not to ruin the dinner, he let it go. Charles then went to the cabin of the boat to indicate to the captain that they were ready to leave and then motioned to Lyanna to come with him and together they went to the back of the boat where Arthur had set up a nice table waiting for them. The pilot proceeded to pull Lyanna's chair so that she could sit in it. At his gesture, she gave a soft laugh.

“A real gentleman.”

“Or you do things the right way or you don’t do them at all.” He replied.

He then excused himself to fetch two plates that were waiting to be eaten.

"Well, you didn't do things halfway," Lyanna said.

“You deserve it and I did promise you a nice evening. And as it probably is our last before a long time, let’s enjoy it.”

“To our last times, then.” she toasted, a drink of champagne in her hand.

“Hey, we will still see each other. Not as much but I’m sure we will find occasions.”

“How come?” she asked, genuinely curious.

“Well, you could come to some of my races? I was thinking that maybe you could come with me in the Netherlands. It’s the next one in three weeks. And you don’t have to watch from the Ferrari garage if it scares you, you could be officially Pierre’s guest. Kika will be there, you could spend time with her you know.” At this point he was rambling.

“I see you thought this through.”

The truth was, he did. Charles could not bring himself not to have her around. He had become far too accustomed to her presence and the idea of being away from her bothered him more than he had imagined. So he had spent the day thinking of a solution. Preferably one that wouldn't make her run away in advance. He knew that if she came to one of his races, it would only rekindle the rumours, and considering how it had gone the last time for them, he certainly didn't want the situation to happen again.

“And what do you think? I have a whole plan prepared, you just have to say yes and I’ll take care of everything.”

“Charles… I have no doubt that you do but I can’t come. I’m wrapping up the movie soon and I’m really needed here, I can’t leave. And then I wanted to go back in France for a few days to see my family before going back to London. I just don’t have the time to squeeze a race in there.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to?” he asked abruptly, hurt by her answer.

“Don’t take it like that…”

“I’m trying to find solutions to not have to say goodbye to you Lya.”

“And it’s really nice from you. But hear me out as well. I can’t drop everything to be at your side every chance we get. I have my life too, my work and obligations. It’s not that I don’t want to be there with you.” She explained.

“Well if you don’t want to come to Zandvoort, come to the football charity game organized this week. I would love to have you there and you won’t be alone, Kika will be there too since Pierre is participating. And I will film some stuff for my youtube channel. I would like to have your input.”

“Don’t you have a team to help you with that? Surely, they know what they are doing.”

“They do, my best friends manage most of the content I post online but I would like to have your opinion, you know, as someone who is used to being in front of the camera.”

“Well, tell me when it is exactly and I’ll see what I can do.”

The rest of the dinner went relatively well. Charles opened up a lot about his past and told her some funny anecdotes about is dad and Jules without having Lyanna asking for it. It made her happy, seeing that he trusted her enough to let her inside this aspect of his past. But Lyanna could not help but to have in the corner of her mind the words of her best friend, telling her to let Charles speak about his dating history. She didn’t know how to ask him without it being awkward.

“Can I ask you an intrusive question?” She ventured.

“Yeah. I’m not hiding anything.”

“How come you don’t have anyone in your life?”

He sighed and leaned against the back of his chair, staring into space, trying to find the best way to formulate his thoughts.

“If I’m meant to have this conversation, we should at least have it while eating the tiramisu I bought.”

He stood up and quickly returned with two generous slices of Italian cake.

“I didn’t have much romantic relationships in my life. Well, not many that really mattered I would say. My life is busy, always being away, working a lot, you know how it is. It doesn’t allow me much time to meet people or develop new relationships. If I’m being honest, you are the first person, in a long time, I befriended that is not from Monaco or that is not linked to the motorsport world. And you see what happened with the rumours, everytime I’m seen with a girl, it is blown out of proportion. It scares away a lot of people. So it’s really not helping. The scrutiny I get on the daily is hard to handle. I’m not counting on the number of paparazzi pictures of me and my ex-girlfriends that were in the press.” He explained.

“Is this why you always date girls that are in the same friends group?” The question slipped out and he looked at her in surprise. “Sorry, it’s rude. It’s just that I read that online and… anyway forget it.”

“I… well… I mean, I guess it has always been easier this way? It’s no excuses and I know that it can make me look like the biggest jerk ever…”

“No, you think?” she tells him sarcastically.

“The truth is, that way you don’t have to question people motive, I can already trust them a little bit. I don’t have to tell them my story, I don’t have to allow the trust to grow. Time wise, it’s easier and it’s spared the awkward situations.”

“Yeah well, basically you are saying that you don’t have to go through what you went through wit me. I don’t know how to take it.”

“Lyanna, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not the same with you.”

“How so?”

“Because I know that nothing will ever happen between us. We are just friends, you are not expecting anything from me. It’s refreshing.”

She didn't show it but deep down she was hurt.

“Am I a distraction for you?”

“What? No of course not. Why would you think that?”

“Because that’s how you make me feel right now. Like I don’t matter. Like I can be replaceable.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I want you in my life Lyanna? Our friendship is important to me. We don’t know each other for that long but you quickly became one of the most important people in my inner circle. I want you to meet my other friends, I want you to meet my family, I want to show you what my job is, I want to include you, okay? It’s clear from my end. The question is will you let me to?”

Lost in the middle of the ocean, with the water stretching as far as the eye could see, Lyanna felt trapped. So she got up from the table and went to lean against the rail a few metres away.

“I would love to trust you fully Charles, but it’s hard for me. If I do that, if I let my guard down with you, I need to be two hundred percent sure that I’m not making a mistake, that I can trust you and you won’t judge me. Because I would not be able to handle it.”

Charles slowly approached her before putting his arms around her shoulders and pulling her against him. She could feel his breath in her hair and his body scent mixed with the smell of the sea air and his aftershave reassured her. She felt good, protected and safe there.

“I promise you Lyanna, you will always have me in you corner, no matter what happens;”

She moved away from him and sat down on the floor. He did the same.

“Then, I guess it’s time for me to tell you what happened 5 years ago.”

========

tag list: @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #fiction #writing #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x female reader #cl16 #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc blurb #charles leclerc one shot

[ruthlesscalculuss]

I think many jc antis and some jc fans don’t realize that Jiang Cheng is not just an angry callous man. He’s arguably the most sensitive character in mdzs.

He deserves to be seen through his hard exterior, because there’s something so interesting behind it. An angry man with no deeper thought would not keep Chenqing by his side for 13 years. No man with such little depth would cry and mourn at the golden core reveal and at the temple scene. His love and willingness to die for his nephew shows one of his best qualities: loyalty to family and his loved ones.

Him trying to help raise Jin Ling and treat him better than Jiang Cheng’s parents ever treated him is honorable. To be better than the parents who hit, humiliated, and neglected you- it’s a genuinely respectable thing. That takes character growth and reflection to be a better person, which can be hard especially in a case like Jc.

Jiang Cheng rebuilt lotus pier all by himself, yes he got support from the top clans, however he oversaw that everything was reconstructed and that the place could be a bright and functioning sect, even better before his fathers rule. By himself. That takes a certain level of devotion that I admire as well, and he doesn’t do it for greedy reasons like power like JGY, he does it because he’s been groomed to be the sect leader for so long, it’s basically a part of his personality now. And that in itself can be seen as another tragedy.

Btw the man was literally begging wwx to come back with him to lotus pier and to get rid of the wens, so that he could protect him, before things truly got out of hand “if you insist on protecting them I can’t protect you” That’s fear, that’s fear of another loss, the death of someone you care about. Also can we talk about how jc always knew he was second best to wwx? And hey he never was that angry with the man, never tried to push him down and make fun of him for being the son of a servant, he trusted and respected him. And I don’t think that was easy to do.

Also another thing. Jc never tried to hunt and kill or torture wwx. When he ran into him on the streets of that inn, he whipped wwx to stun him, and dragged him back to question him. Not even touching a hair on his head. He used fairy as a blocker, and did call him over to fuck with wwx, it wasn’t right but I get why he got pissed off. Wwx had made a…insensitive comment to say the least, because he was so used to messing with jc (and jc in turn) but forgot that things are very different now.

Also, jc never actually wanted to kill wwx when he saw him again, he whipped him to expel him out of mo xuanyu’s body because he thought he was possessing him and he did lash out at lotus pier but he tried to stop before it got any worse “Jiang Cheng didn’t really want to hit Lan WangJi, and immediately retracted his whip, but it was already too late.”

My point in writing all of this is that jc is not just an “angry bitter man”, he is man capable of warmth and forgiveness like how we see him forgive wwx in the temple after years of resenting him. It’s so easy for jc to just hate wwx, but he doesn’t, he says it himself “Why can’t I hate you?! Shouldn’t I hate you?!” The anger and hurt he’s fed for years are slowly losing its roots in his heart and he doesn’t know what to do except cry. This part of him, I think is too relatable. When you survive through expressing hurt as anger, when you have to deal with “you’ll never be good enough” I can understand and I wish others would acknowledge this type of canon

#canon jiang cheng #jiang cheng #mdzs

[theonevoice]

Sorry if this is a little foggy and poorly worded, but I have been sitting on this thought all day, after working on a scene from Mamoru Hosoda's Wolf Children, and might as well put it here. The scene in question is the one where little wolf-boy Ame, sweet child who loves stories and picture books and who struggles to come to terms with his hybrid identity, one day while out in the woods with his sister and his mother on a sort of wolf-training excursion suddenly starts crying. And the reason why is crying is that, in all the picture books, he keeps seeing the wolf depicted as the bad guy that ends up shooed away or killed. And because of such representations, now he wants to repress his wolf identity, that has always been a lively and funny, although hard to figure out, part of his life. He is terrified of being what he is because the narrow representations that he has access to tell him that the world does not like people like him. It's a powerful little moment in a beautiful movie, that always makes me tear up, and if you missed it I highly recommend you watch it. If you are not into anime movie and just curious of the scene, I found a clip on YouTube:

Anyway, this scene made my lonely braincel twitch, and I was thinking, now that we are approaching the end of this glorious - as far as the mediascape is concerned - year 2023, that many people underestimate the enormous power of fantasy narratives in expanding the borders of gender (and minority in general) representation. Having an author canonically establish that certain fixed categories do not apply to one or more characters for in-universe reasons takes away that nasty oblique excuse that some people use to deny and disparage diversity in media (where I live they usually sound like "they only made this character a person of color to please the woke liberalsTM even if the historical context doesn't allow it", or even, comically, "it is narratively implausible that this character is or shows to be queer but they were forced to do it by THE GAY LOBBY" - yes, this is an actual conspiracy theory loudly promoted by Italian journalists and politicians, and yes, I am personally deeply ashamed by it). Obviously, almost none of said people has the faintest actual interest in narrative aspects, but they still use the excuse to pollute the public discourse and attack minorities. And I am aware that there is a possible dark pitfall here: in the best possible world, we should not need to take the route of fantasy settings to have something that should never have been denied in the first place, but from a pragmatical standpoint it does work. Having authors saying "nope, sorry not sorry, they are wolf-children / angels and demons / weird vampires / anachronistic pirates in a fantasy context so your self-proclaimed laws of plausibility do not apply and you can shove them where the sun does not shine while we enjoy the show and put this beautiful, funny, delicate, deep and sad things on screen", is like having a cultural picklock which is also a cultural battering ram thrusting the representation-door open. Shows like Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, What We Do in the Shadows (and their fandoms with their massive collective creative endeavour), by offering the symbolic shield of a fantasy setting can establish a safe space where 1. queer people (especially young people but not only) can finally recognize themselves and stop feeling like they are alone and don't have the words and images they need to describe themselves; 2. not queer people can get used to a larger set of possible identities and not only realise that 100% of said idenities are in fact - hold on to your butts - still people with thoughts and feelings and needs, but also, through the power of mimesis, acquire a deeper understanding of forms of life that they don't directly experience. Including, hopefully, understanding how similar we all are when it comes to us being ultimately a bunch of naked apes who walk on this spinning rock trying to be as little miserable as possible.

Again, sorry if this sounds clumsy and blunt, given how delicate and complex this subject is (one does not simply walk into Mordor talk about the lives and needs of other people like that), but I had this thought stuck in my shallow brain wrinkles and I wanted to try and put it into words.

#celebrate your fandom #go #ofmd #wwdits #ourgoodshadows #good omens #good omens 2 #our flag means death #what we do in the shadows #Youtube

[dekusleftsock]

I have to say that your post on Deku peddling a lot of casual homophobia and toxic masculinity across the manga, was really interesting and eye-opening. I mostly agree with you, except the part about bkdk supposedly being the endgame for this particular arc. I've had similar thoughts about how gender and sexuality is portrayed in MHA, for quite a while, but the conclusion I always came to, was more along the lines of "Reject Masculinity; Embrace Lesbianism". As I've just stumbled upon this blog, I must therefore ask: how do you feel about transbian Deku hcs?

Oh it’s so fun! Trans lesbian deku is awesome, I love all trans hc’s so much.

Unfortunately though, I am also a bkdk shipper and my opinions in that post are about my genuine thoughts that, yes, deku is a cisgender gay man, and there’s no real problem with that. Welcome to my blog though!

A lot of my posts do focus on bkdk and togachako (while mainly togachako for the past couple of months), so that’s just your fair warning! If you aren’t into that it’s like… kind of impossible to avoid that shipping on my blog. I often post fanart and metas/shitposts that focus on those two ships solely.

And I will say, I feel like the notion of “rejecting masculinity”, especially as a trans masculine person myself, does often fall down anti trans rhetoric and spaces, as lesbianism and masculinity aren’t even necessarily contrasting things to be. NB is an identity that can be stretched so far into so many spaces that it’s kind of hard to reject masculinity OR femininity without well… falling into exclusion.

I’m not sure if that’s what you mean though, however I do enjoy most if not all trans hc’s because they are amazing and so interesting when people really dive into a characters internalized issues having to do with that identity. Transgenderism is so maleable and can easily apply to so many different types of characters, even giving them a deeper sense of depth.

Canonically though, I think I like Izuku how he is. Because everyone has issues, and while cis men have obviously had a lot of stories where they are the center of attention, told from their perspective, Izuku is unique in his own right; because how often do we really see a short, androgynous, emotionally expressive, cis male character deal with things like the insecurity of crying, the unknown of if your identity (if it really is your identity) will be accepted in spaces where you have been pushed to be with, from your perspective, a platonic female friend? Because yes, izuku WAS bullied—rather indirectly with Katsuki sure—but the little comments made about being a crybaby, being creepy, being weak, they all build up. They build and build until, hey, the bully isn’t there anymore. In fact, the bully is you.

And really, I see why people don’t necessarily pick up on Izuku of all people having masculinity issues. When the viewer sees a momma’s boy who’s relatively soft and empathetic, they register someone who vaguely understands themself. They see him be self sacrificial and think, “that’s a man who goes against masculine stereotypes, so obviously he doesn’t struggle with fitting into the stereotype himself!” Because it’s not what we’re usually shown in our every day media.

A man with masculinity issues is someone who is SUPER masculine—he’s super buff, he screams a lot, he has anger issues, he—oh wait I’m describing Katsuki.

Yet, in reality, Katsuki actually DOESNT! Not as much as Izuku does anyway. In middle school? Sure, most definitely. He registered weakness and refused to accept himself, therefore his masculinity. The anger issues build and build on each other… except for the fact that we’re forgetting the key here.

Katsuki grew up.

Katsuki HAD to grow up because the way he expressed these anger issues (that I will say, izuku also shares, the crying is literally a symptom of that in a lot of cases) was much more prevalent. It stopped him from truly growing, and when he was humbled he was able to see all the mistakes he was making. And slowly but surely, he apologized. He sacrificed. He started to really, truly, care.

He always cared of course, seeing as he cared enough to try to stop deku from getting into UA, because he thought he was a threat. Hell, after the entrance exam at their first day of UA, he genuinely thought Izuku had enough heroics in him to make it past the entrance exam! He didn’t think Izuku even NEEDED a quirk to get in. He’s always believed in him.

Was that expressed through his insecurities? Yes, because he was a dumb 15 year old.

But now that he knows he cares, that’s allowed him to reflect on himself, and on Izuku.

Izuku ofc will change, he will grow up, he will get that character development, but he has to have that realization that, oh, Katsuki really won’t hate him for anything. Ever.

Whether Izuku has internalized homophobia simply because Katsuki isn’t a girl, or because he’s afraid of Katsuki’s rejection at Izuku’s weirdness, well, I guess that’s up to your interpretation.

Mine is personally on the second side though.

#and like. Katsuki is such an Integral part to WHY Izuku expresses his feelings the way he does #because again #izuku is a circus #and Katsuki is the audience #there’s no reading Izuku’s character and especially not this aspect without. well. reading his feelings about Katsuki as well. #they’re kind of two sides of the same coin #if you want to know WHY I believe the things I do then I think I have some metas labeled for that reason #bkdk

[universellie]

Is it obvious the Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond saga is my favourite part of Steven Universe?

It’s so much deeper than just surface neglect and her being a bad person. I could genuinely talk for days on her entire character, her development, what she did and the reasons behind them, the repercussions that followed. She is genuinely one if not the most complex characters in the entire series.

LET ME EXPLAIN.

Pink Diamond, the youngest diamond. Childlike qualities, innocent, playful and loving etc. Pink faces harsh parental figures (Yellow, Blue, White) at every turn. She is constantly shut down, shunned, locked away after her every attempt at love and kindness. The fact she had to resort to an entirely new identity to get them to listen to her should resonate with so many people. She didn’t feel strong as herself so she became someone else. Rose is as we all know, an extension of Pink yet she is everything Pink felt like she couldn’t be. Rose is brave, loving, kind, compassionate etc. She was what Pink wished she could be. She is who Pink truly was.

Rose Quartz, the rebellious quartz who erupted from the ground and started a rebellion. Not only is her character design flawless but she’s a literal war hero. She knew the only way to save gems and their entire fate was to create a safe haven on earth, her colony. The fact she broke away from her indoctrinated mold of the Diamond Authority and STILL managed to love? It’s incredible. Yes, gems were shattered. Gems and people suffered and reaped the repercussions of her actions. But the reality is, it wasn’t her fault that it happened, as coarse as that sounds. It’s incredibly unfair to blame her for the fall out. She only ever wanted the best for everyone. She conquered so many obstacles, she showed compassion to Garnet and many other gems. It can not be her fault that people suffered. She, as a leader, made terribly hard decisions which had an affect on everyone, sure it doesn’t make it okay but she did what was right.

She falls in love with Greg, probably not the first human who she got an interest in but he is the first human to treat her as a human, and that wooed her. Her love for earth grows even more after spending time with Mr. Universe, so much so she understands her time there is done. Infatuated with the cycle of life on earth, death and rebirth, she gave up her very being so her son could live. Is that not the very definition of a mothers love knows no bounds? She didn’t leave Steven to deal with her mess, she only wanted him to love and to live in a world of safety and kindness. How was she to know what the fallout would be of her actions? Does that make her careless or does it make her simply human?

Anyways, Rose/Pink for president.

#su #steven universe #steven universe au #steven universe fandom #steven universe fanfic #steven universe imagine #steven universe author #steven universe x reader #steven universe x f!reader #steven universe and reader #steven universe the movie #steven unvierse au #rose quarts su #rose quarts steven universe #rose quarts is pink diamond #rose quartz

[purplefacey]

at first glance, people may think that soundwin are too familiar or too similar in the ways they act to be a couple. from the way they both bicker and hold themselves at such a high standard, it makes sense. but when you look deeper into it, and realize the reasons WHY they bicker and WHY they hold themselves at such a high standard, it makes you realize why they are actually perfect for each other.

sound from a young age already had to compete with people (tinn) and had to work up his way to fame. he’s already known to the world and had to work hard to get there. he hides behind a wall and represses his feelings and takes it out on others because he believes people may use him or such. with fame, you don’t trust a lot of people easily and having a group of guys just ask you “we need you to join our band!” is automatically suspicious to you. so sound bickers. he argues even when he joins the band. he’s an individual at fame. he doesn’t know what it’s like to be part of a group of people and work as a team. his ego has already been set to a higher standard, that he already believes he doesn’t need anyone else. but he’s always been by himself, until he met chinzilla. until he met win.

win on the other hand, is one of those characters you know represses their feelings and tried to hide behind everything and everyone. even though you don’t know their backstory, it’s understandable that some people don’t know how to express their feelings and choose to hide behind them. that’s the type of character win is. win is the one in the friend group who has to keep his cool. he doesn’t want to be the one to burden the group because he loves his friends so much. even tho he’s always straightforward and always says his opinion, deep down there is more to him then shown. he choose to put a tough face on because it he doesn’t want to concern anyone or have to showncase his true feelings. that’s until sound comes into place.

when soundwin first meet, we can already seen how they bicker at every given moment and argue about almost everything. like satangwinny said, they are like magnetic with the same pole that keep trying to pull towards each other, but never connect. but slowly that bickering and that arguing became something comforting to the two of them. both of them never realizing that bickering could be something special that makes you realize “this person could be the one for me.” their bickering showed that they actually cared for each other and that’s how they showcased their feelings. neither of them have ever been that way towards anyone else but each other. there’s a reason sound pulls away when win starts to slowly to him because sound doesn’t know what it’s like to like someone because of how they act or such.

one other thing is the way that they have the “i like you” and “i don’t like you YET, but i’m willing to try because it’s YOU” trope. this trope isn’t quite as used in tv shows, but i’m glad it’s shown in this tv show. sound falling for win makes complete sense and him portraying his feelings in a song, is a complete sound move to do. win also not reciprocating these feelings does make sense because of the way he acted around the girls and such. but the fact that win willingly chose to ask sound to teach him to like sound is what’s so powerful. win could have straight up rejected sound and said nothing after, but he chose to try. if it was anyone else, win most likely would have said no, but because it was sound he said yes. they already have the compatibility for each other and they understand each other like no one else does.

anyways soundwin is perfect for each other and i cannot wait to see their development. gmmtv please give them a sequel or something, cause i need more of them. thanks

#soundwin #winsound #sound x win #satang kittiphop #winny thanawin #satangwinny #winnysatang #my school president #i love them so much i could actually cry

[thetypedwriter]

Babel Book Review

Babel Book Review by R.F. Kuang

This book was so incredibly impressive in multiple ways. I was blown away by Kuang’s sheer amount of research in terms of history, etymology, linguistics, and sociology. There were so many aspects of this novel that required her to dig deeper into subjects and Babel is an incredible display of her hard work and effort (and PHD’s). 

Babel tells the story of a young boy who is taken from his home in Canton and trained by Professor Lovell in England. Given a new name, Robin Swift, the best tutors, and a strict schedule that dominates his childhood, Robin is forced to forget his home and dead family in order to assimilate into White British society, a society that sees him as foreign and less than human, even as they rely on his Cantonese in order to power their city. 

Blending realistic, brutal history of the British empire—bloody politics and colonialism included—with the magical element of silver bars and silver-working, Kuang creates a beautiful blend of accuracy and the fantastic. In this world she’s created, silver working is birthed through what is lost in translation, requiring different languages and people who deeply understand it. 

The effects of this translation are magical bars that can be imbued with a variety of purposes like making carts go faster, ships sail smoother, and teapots stay hot—only if you can afford it, of course. 

Robin’s childhood is stained with memories of Professor Lovell’s cold shoulder, violent temper, and reticence to admit that Robin is actually his son. With Lovell looming over him, Robin is relieved when he’s old enough to attend Oxford as a Babbler, a revered translator. 

A good portion of the book details Robin’s stay at Oxford, including his studies with his other cohort members: Ramy, Victoire, and Letty. 

I could argue that this section was a bit long, where we have chapters upon chapters of Robin attending classes, dreaded school functions, mundane translation work, or spending time with one of his friends but overall, I enjoyed it. 

This is where Kuang focuses a lot of energy and pages to linguistics, building her world and magic system of silver bars, and developing the relationships between Robin and the others. These chapters are also steeped in history, with several of them almost coming across like a textbook. 

Again, if this sounds boring, it wasn’t. I found the historical recounting of the British empire a fascinating subject when used in conjunction with the silver bars and Robin’s eventual epiphany of his own situation and latent childhood cruelty. 

Some much needed spice came in the form of Griffin and the Hermes Society. Griffin, it turns out, is Robin’s half-older brother and also an unnamed heir of Professor Lovell. 

He is a part of a rebel organization whose purpose is to destroy Babel, stop the pillaging of other languages for Britain’s greed and pleasure, and eventually, to change the course of history by dismantling war plans between China and England. 

I could go on and on by summarizing the rest of the book (which would contain massive spoilers), but the ending focuses on Robin and his friends going to Canton themselves, witnessing the British trying to get the Chinese addicted to opium, a harsh death that leads Robin and his cohort to join the Hermes society, and then a fight against the empire itself as Robin and his rag-tag survivors destroy Babel within in order to bring Britain to its knees and leave Canton alone for good. 

The plot of this book itself was solid. I don’t say fantastic because there was never at any point where I was truly shocked or blown away by a surprise twist or revelation. The characters you think will die, do die, and the characters that seem suspicious of betrayal, do in fact betray others. 

This would be a criticism of obvious expectations, but I don’t think astonishing was what Kuang was going for. I think she was going for more of a streamlined story in which, yes, the white girl does feel slighted and must take action in order to save herself.

 I did like the occasional separate POV’s that would explain a character’s backstory and motivation, but in general, Kuang was trying to tell a realistic story and she did, including adding historical footnotes, remarks on translation, and word definitions that I found fascinating, if a bit obtuse. 

Setting wise, Oxford was brilliant. You can tell that Kuang is half in love with Oxford, which makes for very pleasurable reading. As I studied abroad there myself, it was very nostalgic and lovely to read about its cobblestone streets and spires glinting in the moonlight. 

My biggest gripe with the book are its characters. They’re not bad, not by any stretch of 

the imagination, but none of them felt very fleshed out either. The only character I found myself really understanding and relating to was Robin, as we spend the entire book in his head. I found Robin to be a sweet, tortured soul who took us on a riveting journey of self-discovery and eventual, brutal revolution. 

All the remaining characters in the book were fine, but I never felt like I knew them on any grounds. It annoyed me when Kuang would have a paragraph or two every other chapter discussing how much Robin loved his cohort members and list off random things about them, like how Victoire preferred her tea or how Ramy acted in the morning. These idiosyncrasies should have been shown to me, not told. 

The book would have been at least a third longer if Kuang had truly tried to develop the characters naturally in a way where their connections felt believable and organic, so I understand why she didn’t, but it comes at the cost of having shallow characters with little depth and minimal attachments to the reader. When several characters died, I didn’t bat an eye. 

I teared up slightly when Robin was miserable in prison, but the deaths of others? Not a blink. 

While I understand that Kuang’s focus was more on the history, sociology, and linguistics, as I mentioned at the beginning of this review, by shafting the characters, it does make this a good book rather than an exceptional one. 

For me, a very character-driven reader, no matter how stunning the research and backdrop of your novel, if you don’t have strong characters to pull the reader through, it will never amount to a book I would consider great. 

However, that being said, I really enjoyed this book for what it was and the information it contained, even though we never learned Robin Swift’s real name. It was a very different read than the novels I’ve been ingesting lately, coming across as refreshing and informative. 

I really enjoyed the book, despite not having attachments to characters, because of all that I learned and the lens of history it offered. 

Recommendation: If you like history, revolution, languages, and magic, this is your book. If you wanted a different perspective on the fall of the British empire mixed in with fantastical silver bars, you will find nothing more polished or better explained than Babel. If history bores you, the world and characters will not be enough to pull you through to the end. But as a lover of history and different perspectives, I bolted down Babel and cherished how much I learned in the process. 

“Language was always the companion of the empire, and as such, together they begin, grow, and flourish. And later, together, they fall.” —Antonio De Nebrija 

Score: 7/10

#babel #rf kuang #oxford #translation #linguistics #historical fiction #book blog #book #book review #favorite books #books #Book Recommendations #book rec #book recs #Popular Books #popular fiction #book analysis #Book Aesthetic #7/10

[mdhwrites]

Which character stands out the most for you in Star Rail?

Meet Guinevere, though known nowadays as Guinaifen or Little Gui after her planet blew up and she moved to the Xianshou Loufu to be a street performer.

She is actually one of the characters I DON'T have leveled right now, though she's high on my priority list. This also means that she's caught my attention despite the fact that I'm not mechanically using her and she's also a four star so she's not one of the characters you have to go hard on trying to get ahold of. In fact, come 2.0, one of the events for that patch will include the chance to get a free Guinaifen (if you pick her over the other options available.)

No, this actually just comes down to the fact that she is a very VIVID character, even without reading her character story. In the game, she has had two major appearances. One was when she first came out and was given a small introduction in the Pokemon parody event where she introduced herself as an outworlder living on the kiiiind of racist Xianshou Loufu as a street performer which would not be an easy job to put it mildly. Little Gui is her online handle/her performance handle and her performances include, not kidding or over exaggerating: Slurping Noodles While Doing a Handstand Brushing Teeth While Whistling Smashing Boulder on Chest (She even has a special equip that literally shows and talks about her doing this with her bestie) Blocking Pike with Neck Swallowing Sword to Stomach CATCHING BULLET WITH HANDS

AGAIN. NOT A JOKE. AND THAT'S NOT EVEN A FULL LIST.

And mind you, with this being a space fantasy, live streaming exists and yes, Little Gui is a streamer. What sort?

That sort. Also, meet Sushang, her best friend. They are maybe the only two female friends in this game, along with their HuoHuo, who I do not go "AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES!" But yeah, she's a bit loud, she's trying really hard and she's just got so much energy.

But... This is where we get into why she is actually interesting. See, when this cutscene happens... She's in a slump. See, the majority of her content effectively revolves around her being an outsider of the Loufu, where she lives now. Her first big hit series was actually doing food reviews and detailing the best dining spots and delicacies on the ship. She's not been doing those lately though. In fact, she hasn't been streaming as much either.

Also, if you question her as she wants to go to the haunted garden, she will actually drop the act. Her VA, English one since I don't play with Japanese voices, is actually INCREDIBLE here because you can genuinely tell the shift in just her voice to be a little deeper and little more relaxed as she stops trying to hype things up. Little Gui is NOT Guinaifen after all. It's just her stage name.

Mind you, she also isn't entirely a liar either. She is passionate and excitable, she has the right energy to do this sort of work, but the game doesn't try to pretend that she's cranked up to eleven at all times. She's just a human being trying to make it in this world. I haven't seen many streamer characters admittedly but I genuinely love how real she feels as a performer like this while staying a person.

Part of her standing out admittedly is helped by being a part of literally the best content on the planet she's a part of. Fyxestroll Garden is a great expansion with a nice story that eventually starts mixing the science and fantasy sides really well as Guinaifen helps lead the Ghost Hunting Squad! She deals with the social media side of it to keep rumors down and keep the rest of the Loufu from understanding quite what is going on while her, Sushang and the little girl with paw eyes from the trailer, Huohuo.

The trio are all helpless scaredy cats. Little Gui is the bravest of all of them and as you saw in the video, that isn't saying much. But through the events, she had to confront her old fans, show us how she works and be just a lot of fun. It also makes sure that you always remember her as part of this trio, giving her people to bounce off of and add to her cheer and charm.

And that's despite the fact that her PLANET IS FUCKING GONE. Yeah, the biggest antagonistic force of the universe literally destroyed her home planet. She can never go back and it's REALLY easy not to properly realize this because it comes up in a TEXT MESSAGE and from her character stories which you only get if you level her up. It's admittedly MUCH more explicit in her character story page, I'm reading them now on the wiki, but you only get those parts of her if you actually use her. Here is her singing of it as a part of a folk song, which is another talent she uses for her performances. I was truly from that outworld court named Camelot, and has my siblings altogether a dozen lot. Our days were peaceful and joyous to boot, but who'd thought that the Ruin Author made trouble all afoot. Parents fought back the invaders and arms they took, yet the Legion broke the nation's back. Powerless Dad stood. Elder brother led us siblings wandering without a root, to an IPC mining planet covered in dark soot. Eke out a living with meager scraps we undertook, homeless and meal-less often was our wont. My brother a timid man, doing back-breaking work. To piracy he was forced, interstellar raider forsook. Commercial shipments he only waylaid, homes he never burnt. They sing he was a hero among bandits, distributing his loot. He led hundreds of poor souls in a desperate force, terrible to look. Fallen wayward in the eyes of the law, just so we get enough food.

...Have Little Gui juggling to rinse that out a bit.

(This is one of her two idles and I love it.)

But the fact that this backstory isn't the core of her character, it is instead how she has decided to rise from the ashes that's important, is part of what I love about her character. If you just want to treat her as a fun performer, that's okay! If you want to see her as another pair of lesbians with ShangShang, the game allows for that too. But there's just... A lot. A lot of potential while still have a fleshed out and realized person behind it. It's part of why of all the characters I'd love to next see get a 5 star upgraded version (we've gotten one already), I'd LOVE to see Princess/Queen Guinaifen someday who manages to bring her old home and new together into something even better.

If she never does though, I won't complain either. Not when I'm already a fan of Little Gui and SMASHED that subscribe button.

And just to finish this off: She is currently considered the third best Damage over Time, DoT, character in the game (there are six if we count Black Swan who comes out in five days) and the best of the four star DoT characters. Her kit is actually REALLY strong, even mimicking one of the best parts of a 5 star DoT character in retriggering a certain type of DoT. Not only that but she debuffs the enemy to make them take more damage from anything the more times they get burned, her style of DoT. She also has just an absolutely amazing ult animation even though I can't tell you why these small dogs, called Ditings, are related with her so much.

(I wasn't able to find gifs for this that would actually work for either this or her idle, hence the videos.)

So yeah, if she's caught your eye too, she's actually really good and super viable as a sub-DPS/debuffer. It's something I will always keep pointing out because the 4 stars in this game are genuinely strong and Guinaifen is no different. I just unfortunately took a while to realize and have also been using so many resources on upgrading other characters.

But yeah, I could keep going but she herself would tell me to leave the audience wanting more. So leave another ask if you want to hear what I think you could do non-canonically with her or the like, or just to hear thoughts on other characters like the rest of the ghost hunting squad themselves. For now, she still stands tall as one of my favorites in the game and honestly, probably my favorite character from her planet, even if it isn't her original home. The Loufu desperately needed a laugh though and this firecracker is just what the doctor ordered.

======+++++======

As a note: I don't know if I'd say she's my favorite character. She's up there and almost certainly is top three or five but she's got some stiff competition. She is probably the person I want to see developed further the most though which is why I chose to talk about her for this blog.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#Honkai Star Rail #guinaifen #hsr #star rail