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sp0o0kylights · 2 months

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"Valentines Day is a capitalistic scam made to sell chocolate and flowers!" Eddie Munson bellowed, leaping to the top of a cafeteria table not even ten minutes into lunch.

"Do you think he was born like this, or just dropped on his head as a baby?" Heather asked, rolling her eyes as the super senior began waving his arms around, getting way too into his annual “anti-valentines day” rant.

Steve, who'd tuned out the dramatics in favor of trying to figure out how he could ditch school, only heard her because she’d begun running her foot up his leg.

Directly in front of Patrick.

As if half the school didn’t know he planned on asking her out after school.

Long over being a part of these kinds of games, Steve kicked out, forcing Heather’s leg off his.

He did it harder than he intended and immediately winced, as if he hadn’t meant to do it at all. Aimed a sad little look at her, softening his eyes in the way he knew ladies loved while murmuring a quiet "sorry.”

A pudding cup was offered as an additional apology--which Heather, thankfully, accepted.

Crisis averted, Steve used the movement of handing the cup over to get his legs well out of Heather's range. He had other things to think about today, and getting drawn into whatever drama Heather was trying to brew wasn’t on the list.

Particularly given the basketball team as a unit had started snubbing him out.

"Newsflash ladies! Your man isn't taking you to some shitty restaurant because he loves you, he's doing it because he hopes you'll give it to him in your car!" Munson continued, voice growing impossibly louder.

A crude gesture followed, involving hip thrusts and hand jabs.

Several of the cheerleaders shot him disgusted looks as he did it.

"Definitely dropped on his head." Carol said, glaring at Munson as his little group of freaks and geeks cheered him. "More than once."

Steve hummed an agreement, more on automatic than from actually listening. He knew how to look like he was paying attention, even if his head was deep in possible escape plans.

If he dipped at the last minute to the bathroom on the way to fifth period, Tommy wouldn't have time to stop him and he could make a break for his car…

That just left making up a plausible enough excuse as to why thee Steve Harrington, whose single status was the current hot topic of the school, left school early on Valentines Day.

("Candy, sex, the overwhelming affection of all the ladies." Tommy drawled out that morning, practically preening. "Valentine's Day is the best holiday man. Just look at all this!"

He waved a hand at his locker, which was absolutely covered in paper hearts.

"The rally squad put hearts on the lockers of everyone on the basketball team, Tommy." Carol argued, rolling her eyes. "Steve’s is practically buried in them.”

Tommy opened his mouth to respond, no doubt with something else teasing and rude, but Carol’s elbow caught him in the gut first.

“If you keep acting like this you're not getting any sex." She warned.

"Aww baby, don't be like that. You know you're the only one for me." Tommy teased, with a wink that prompted Carol to smack him on the shoulder.

Laughing, he added: "Besides we can't fight or we'll miss our favorite game. Which poor gal thinks this year is the year Steve will take her out on a date!"

Carol allowed Tommy to put an arm over her shoulder, the two of them turning knowing grins on their friend as a singular unit.

Even if Steve hadn’t felt like their friend in a hot minute.

Not in the way he used to.

"I do love watching them stutter through their little confessions.” Carol admitted, like this wasn’t something they’d loved doing since middle school. “I wonder if anyone will ever top Cindy Komer."

Steve almost wasn't fast enough to cover his wince--that particular incident had been painful for him and Cindy.

Steve still had no idea what he'd said to make the then-freshman cry.

He thought he'd been nice about turning her down, but judging by Carol constantly quoting what he'd said, Steve had a feeling he'd accidentally been an asshole again.

Not that anyone ever thought it was accidental.

“Steve? Hel~lo? Are you listening?” Carol said, snapping to get his attention and God did Steve hate that.

Never realized just how much until Nancy but after she’d pointed out that Carol treated him and Tommy both like her dogs, well.

It was hard not to notice--and be a bit resentful.

“God you keep doing this, you’re turning into such a space case.” Carol continued, the edge back in her voice. The same one she’d been using for a while, like Steve was on her last nerve. “Please tell me you’re not still mooning over Nancy fucking Wheeler.”

“No.” He snapped, only to know instantly that was the wrong move, and try to fix it before Carol blew up. “No--I’ve just already had to fend someone off today. Like first thing--I was barely out of my car.”

There, that should keep Carol and Tommy both off his back for being “angry” and it wasn’t even a lie. He really had been asked out earlier, though the girl had been gracious about his rejection.

Of course, this kind of instant redirection came with a price--and in this case, it was being absolutely hounded for more information.

“Oh shit who!? Was it that Buckley girl?” Carol perked up immediately, like a hunting dog scenting prey. “I swear she stares holes in your head, she’s so weird…” )

"This isn't about romance! It's about showing who has the most cash, gets the most sex! It's a pathetic social ritual you're all falling for!” Munson yelled, jolting Steve back into the present. “I bet none of you even enjoy it!”

"Tell that to all the girls Steve’s dated!” One of the younger basketball guys hollered, prompting a wave of laughter from the rest of the cafeteria. “They seem to enjoy it plenty!”

Steve couldn’t see who had said it, and should have felt the normal wave of smug warmth that the team had his back.

Except his team had already proven they didn’t.

Were in fact, siding more and more with Hargrove, just as Tommy was.

They were rapidly approaching a watershed moment. Steve could feel it, the same way he’d always been able to tell when a crowd was about to turn.

He was losing, but was still on top of Hawkins social spaces enough, had caught it early enough, that he could turn everyone’s favor--if he wanted.

Emphasis on ‘if.’

Munson spun to face his table, hair whipping to smack him in the face. The guy had clearly been trying to grow it out, but right now he looked like one of those poodles Carol's mom loved so much.

So said Carol, anyway.

"You sure about that?" Munson challenged, a crazed grin breaking across his face. "Rumor has it King Steve lost his groove ever since Wheeler dumped him!"

Steve grimaced, though he was secretly thankful Munson went with "dumped" instead of "cheated on" (or any of the other vile words Billy had flung around, spreading across the school in the sick, crawling way rumors moved.

Hargrove had been positively brutal about the whole Jonathan and Nancy thing, and the only reason he wasn't here now to spin this whole situation against Steve was because the guy always vanished at lunch.)

Tommy's face morphed into an affronted snarl, hands slapping down on the table. He turned expectantly to Steve, waiting for "The King" to get up and "handle" Munson.

Like Steve even cared about this dumb high school shit anymore.

It took him a moment to realize Steve wasn’t planning on doing anything. Was in fact, going to remain perfectly quiet, other than an eyeroll and half-assed middle finger in Munson’s direction.

Tommy let out a disgusted scoff in his direction and then decided to handle things himself.

(Like that had ever been a good idea.)

“Shut up, Freak. The only game you have is in the prison showers.” He snapped, half rising from the table. “Isn’t that why you keep your hair long? So all the boys will actually fuck you?!”

Whistles and yells lit the air, though Steve didn’t miss how the girls at the table looked taken aback at the sheer vitriol in Tommy’s voice.

Even Carol looked startled, eyes sliding to meet Steve’s as if to confirm she hadn’t just imagined it.

The three of them had always been good at this kind of mindless high school banter, but this over the top, crude shit?

It wasn’t Tommy’s style.

It was Hargrove’s.

(That was its own growing issue.

The way Tommy was gravitating towards Billy.

How Carol kept expecting Steve to act like he used to.

That she blamed his “outbursts” on Nancy, snidely mentioning that Steve had better have learned his lesson about “changing his personality for pussy.”

Even now Steve knew they were only defending him because Munson was the one saying it.)

“I didn’t realize Harrington still had his attack dog!”

Munson put a hand against his heart as though injured, staggering dramatically backwards.

“I thought you were too busy putting your tongue up Hargrove’s ass to bark at people!”

Tommy immediately fired back, letting loose an uninspired string of curse words and something about Eddie being queer again. Steve didn’t hear the specifics--didn’t care to hear it, even as things started to spiral out of control.

All he wanted to do was go home.

Ideally before Billy got back from lunch and decided to make a spectacle himself, because Steve could feel that coming just as he could everything else.

He was running out of time to come up with an excuse to get out of here without making a production out of it, and Munson wasn’t someone he wanted to piss off today, given he’d half hoped to buy weed off the guy before he ditched.

…Which was looking more and more unlikely given Tommy had just screeched some insult that had put Munson’s sights back on Steve.

“You sure? Cause Harrington looks like he’s just gonna sit there and take it, just like he takes everything Hargrove and Wheeler and anyone else throws at him.”

He leered, leaning forward as if to see into Steve’s very soul.

“I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but our beloved King here hasn’t exactly been defending his crown. If anything, he’s abandoned it.”

The world stopped.

This was the first time someone actually called him out on the fact that he often let whatever crap Billy spewed go. That Nancy and him had a few awkward encounters publicly, with at least one of them starting a rumor that she’d told Steve to fuck off.

(She hadn’t of course, but Carol had stopped running damage control, and Steve was feeling the effects of her ire.)

Silence echoed, and Steve realized with a dawning sort of horror, that Munson was waiting for a response from him.

Just as the entire cafeteria was.

The catalyst was here, brought on early by one Edward Munson.

With a startling amount of clarity, Steve realized he was done.

With his so called friends, with the girls who’d tried corning him all morning, with Hargrove and just--everything.

He was over it.

If Billy wanted the crown so bad he could fucking have it.

(If Tommy wanted to pretend he was tougher than he was by mimicking the dick, then he could have that too.)

“This is stupid.” Steve announced, dropping the masks he so carefully wore. The ones he kept having to fix, because the Upside Down and its related demons (human and non) kept taking chunks out of it.

He stood, feeling the weight of the room press down on him as he faced them all down.

“Yeah--!” Tommy started to pile on, seeming to think Steve was about to unleash hell, and got the surprise of a lifetime when Steve turned and jammed a finger in his face.

“Shut up.” He snapped.

Knew instantly he only got away with it by the fact that he’d caught everyone off guard.

King Steve did a lot of things, but he rarely blew up.

“This is stupid.” He reiterated, voice booming across the lunch room, “ You wanna fight? Fine, but leave me out of it.”

“The King doesn’t want to play? Why I never thought we’d see the day!” Munson clucked his tongue, and without missing a beat Steve turned to him.

“For someone who is always screaming about nonconformity, you sure are happy to attack anyone who doesn’t do what you want.”

Steve’s voice was loud, but he wasn’t screaming. Wasn’t yelling or throwing his arms around.

He didn’t need to. Had never needed to.

“I heard you going off on that guy whose lunch you're standing on yesterday, because he wanted to watch the Colts play.” Steve continued, voice cold. “Half of your friends are terrified of you, because you’ll scream at them just like you accuse us of doing--and let’s be real here, Munson, you do it more.”

In a dramatic move that absolutely, 100% came from Dustin and his theatrics, Steve shrugged his letterman jacket off and bunched it into a ball.

“You might as well crown yourself King, because you’re the exact same as the rest of us. Here--you can start with this.”

Cocking back an arm, Steve let the jacket fly. Watched with everyone else as it landed neatly right at Eddie’s feet.

Shell shocked, Munson’s eyes drifted from Steve down to the letterman jacket and back. They were massive, those stupid eyes of his, but at least it meant Steve could see the realization wash over the guy in real time.

Steve should have felt smug about it. His past self would have.

Presently?

He just felt tired.

“You’re welcome to jam it up your ass.” He finished, before giving his own sarcastic half bow to the room.

The cafeteria was dead silent. Not a fork was scraped, or a loud piece of chip chewed. All eyes were on Steve, some waiting to see if Eddie would let him have the last word, others just shocked to see Steve lose his shit in front of them.

Idiot he was, he tried to rally anyway.

Even Tommy, who’d partly stood up, hands pressed against the lunch table looked shocked.

“What the fuck Steve!?” He sputtered, and it wasn’t long before half the basketball team was muttering similar remarks.

They were ignored.

Whispers ripped across the room when Steve turned on his heel, striding towards the exit and making it clear things were over, but Tommy didn’t give up.

“Fuck you Harrington!” He hurled at his back, Carol now standing and placing a restraining hand on his arm. “You’re not fucking better than any of us!”

Steve didn’t even look back.

"That's my point Tommy." Steve said, loud enough to be heard. "No one is better than anyone else. You lot are all just buying into your own bullshit.”

Then he was slamming through the doors, and out into the sunlight.

xXx

He didn’t want to go home.

Not anymore, which was ironic in a way that made Steve’s face screw up in a grimace.

Here he’d been dying to go to his stupid house all day, and now, after losing his shit and undoubtedly, the last of his social standing, he just didn’t feel like being by himself.

All alone, in a house too big for him, full of nothing but dark corners and a phone that never rang.

So instead, he wandered, reminiscing on how Valentine's Day used to be his favorite day of the year.

Steve loved the gesture of it all--the romance, the wooing. The butterflies floating in one's stomach, mixing with fear of rejection and a burning kind of hope towards starting something new.

Of course, Steve also had always had a girl in mind, when he celebrated. Now, after Nancy…

He did not.

It felt weird to go to Skull Rock--the place he himself had made into Hawkins hottest makeout spots. Likewise all the local restaurants were off limits--too many adults knew how much he loved the holiday.

Steve didn’t want to face that. The expectations, the knowing winks that would slide into uncomfortable frowns. Any possible advice given wouldn’t be appreciated, and the last thing Steve wanted was to get the “everyone has an off season, son” speech.

So he’d stayed away from his usual haunts. Explored some storefronts instead, the Beamer parked in front of Family Video as he wandered.

Had an entirely too peaceful two hours, which of course, meant he had to bump into someone.

At least, Steve thought dully, whole body tensing in preparation, it was Munson.

Not Hargrove, or Tommy, or hell--the children, demanding he help them fight some other fucked up creature the government had accidentally summoned.

“Hey Harrington.” Munson said, and it took a moment for Steve to realize the guy was embarrassed. “I uh, I need to talk to you.”

Steve just stared at him.

“If you couldn’t tell from earlier,” He warned, “I’m a little done talking for today.”

Or any day, for the foreseeable future.

“Yeah no--I, I got that. I--okay.” Eddie stopped rocking on his heels, before giving his entire body a shake, like the guys sometimes did while prepping for a game. “Hear me out, and then you can deck me or leave or whatever makes you feel better.”

“I’m not going to deck you.” Steve said, exasperated and frazzled and not wanting to do this whole song and dance a second time.

Not that it mattered, because Munson had already launched right into whatever it was he needed to say.

“There’s this book right? My Uncle got it for me. It’s a fantasy book all about this big battle and there’s these wizards in it, and--” He stopped himself, shaking out his hands.

Like he realized he was rambling and needed the movement to get himself back on track.

“I always--I guess I saw myself as a Gandalf kinda guy? Like I was this shepherd herding these lost sheep. A person who intimately knew all the dark forces of the world and could be a shield for them. Do not pass and all that.”

He chuckled, but it was weak, and he killed it almost immediately.

“...Okay?” Steve said, knowing he was supposed to say something here, even if he had no idea what.

Maybe something about how Gandalf the Grey wasn’t exactly a shepard given he’d led the hobbits straight into Mordor, but saying that meant admitting Steve knew what Lord of the Rings was, which wasn’t a conversation he felt like getting into.

Particularly not because he’d only read the damn things after losing a bet to Dustin and Mike both.

Munson nodded, as if acknowledgement was all he needed.

“I thought that’s what I was doing. I wasn’t and I didn’t realize I wasn’t until you pointed it out. You shouldn’t have had to point it out. You shouldn’t have had to say any of what you did.” He rushed to add, oddly sincere.

"Is this…" Steve might be confused but catching on, an uptick at the corners of his mouth as the tiniest spark of amusement leaked through. "an apology? Are you trying to apologize right now?"

Eddie groaned, flinging his head back. "No!”

Then immediately;

“Actually yes, but--”

Which caught Steve off guard enough that he laughed, and had to hide it with a cough.

“I am sorry, man. I shouldn’t have said that shit about you, especially not about you and Wheeler. It's more than that though.” Munson swallowed, before squaring his shoulders. “It’s that you were right."

“I was right?” Steve repeated dumbly, because fuck, he couldn’t believe it either.

Not that Munson heard him. Eddie always had been hard to stop once he started, and Steve had been in enough classes with the guy to know the train had left the station.

"I did yell at Jeff because he wanted to watch that stupid football game.” He began, and Steve got a front row seat to watch as one Eddie Munson word vomited his way through a myriad of emotions.

“I fuckin’ lost it on Grant because he missed band practice to drive his sister to some thing. Gareth looked like I was going to hit him when I asked if I had really been that bad--same exact look he gave Hagan and those other assholes that cornered him in the bathroom two weeks ago!”

“Tommy did what?”

Steve was promptly ignored.

(Or more likely, Eddie simply didn’t hear him, too lost in his own voice to realize Steve had said something.)

There were a lot of mentions of the Gandalf guy. Where Eddie thought he’d gone wrong, and even something about a glowing eye thing that had Steve a little concerned until he realized Munson was talking about Sauron (and also made Steve realize that he’d been pronouncing Sauron in his head wrong, oops.)

“I called up this friend of mine who graduated. She’s always been no nonsense, so I asked her for her advice.” Munson said, finally seeming to slow down a little. “She told me I might as well eat my own doctrine because I sure wasn’t living by it, and that if I wanted to fix it then I should start by apologizing. To everyone but--to you, first.”

Eddie took a step back, winging out his hands as if to present himself.

“So here I am. Apologizing.”

A pause wherein neither of them did a thing, which caused him to awkwardly add; “To uh, you. Harrington.”

“Yeah I got that.” Steve said, because what else was he supposed to do here? “Good for you? I guess?”

“Most people either forgive a guy or tell him to fuck off.” Munson pouted, and mimicked like he was kicking at a rock.

It made Steve want to laugh again, though he shoved the urge down.

“Someone once told me,” He said instead, speaking slowly to make damn sure he didn’t let slip this piece of advice came from a middle schooler. “that apologies without actions don’t really mean anything. They’re a start--they let people know you’re aware you screwed up, but no one’s going to trust you if you don’t follow through. So I can forgive you, but I think you’re better off doing this with one of your friends.”

Someone who would hug it out, or at least tell Eddie how he could be better, at least.

Rather than argue, Munson just titled his head back, eyes to the sky. Like he was really thinking on the words, before giving a sort of accepting sounding noise.

“Trying too.” Steve admitted with a sigh.

“That’s what you’ve been doing, isn’t it?” He asked, head coming back down so he could stare at Steve.

“The thing in the cafeteria was a good start.”

“Yeah?”

Eddie grinned.

“Yeah. Don’t think Hagan’s gonna see it the same way though.”

“We were falling out anyway.” Steve admitted, and hated how easy it was to say.

That they really were just going through the motions of friendship. Had been, ever since Jonathan had punched Steve in the face.

“Think you lost more than just him as a friend, to be honest.”

“Pro tip about the actions thing, Munson?” Steve said with a snort, once again unsure of where this conversation was going, “Nice people don’t typically point out when someone’s turned into a social pariah.”

“No, I get that. Say,” Eddie’s grin had grown, which Steve would have taken poorly except he invaded Steve’s space with a goofy little hop. “I think you might be in need of some new ones!”

“New…friends?” Steve hesitated, very unsure of what was happening.

Munson promptly stuck his hand out. “Yup! So--hello, my name is Eddie Munson, and I am here to apply for the position as your friend!”

Steve snorted, but the harshness of it was taken away by the grin on his face.

He took Eddie’s hand, noting how doing so made the older teen’s smile widen.

“Nice to meet you Eddie, I’m Steve.”

Excited, Eddie waived their arms up and down, with far more enthusiasm than the gesture required.

“How about we cement our new friendship by renting a truly terrible horror movie and drowning our woes with my other good friend, Mary Jane?”

Then he waggled his eyebrows, like that was something scandalous.

“Tempting me along with weed, huh?” Steve mused back, sticking his hands in his pockets once Eddie let him go. “Guess you’re a little like Gandalf the Gray after all. Just don’t send me on any missions.”

“Steve Harrington.” Eddie gaped, pure delight spreading across his face. “Have you read Lord of the Rings!?”

He got a shrug and a sly; “Maybe.” in response.

It was worth the barrage of questions, even if the rapid fire pace of them nearly gave Steve a headache.

(Just as it was worth it several months later, when Steve was comfortable enough to instigate wrestling matches with Eddie over the dumbest of things.

One particularly semi-drunk tussle over the remote led to an interesting discovery when Eddie popped a boner, and then frantically tried to escape when it brushed against Steve’s leg.

Instead of panicking--or letting Eddie bolt in his panic, Steve just dropped his whole weight down, effectively pinning the slimmer man to the floor.

“Steve.”

Eddie said it so quietly he almost didn’t hear it, the word filled with desperation.

The kind of tone someone whispered a prayer in, a sort of pleading that Eddie did better with his eyes than his voice. Or would have, given his own were firmly scrunched closed the second he realized he’d been caught out.

Except--

“Not right now I’m thinking.” Steve told him absently.

Which he was. Speed thinking even, if that was a thing.

Because if two plus two equaled four (which it did) then feeling the exact same, fluttering excitement about Eddie’s boner as Steve had Nancy’s breasts, equaled…

“The fuck? Steve--”

Steve shushed him.

That pulled a frustrated, embarrassed groan from Eddie that went directly to Steve’s own dick, not that it needed much help waking up.

“I think I’m having one of those crisis’s Robin is always accusing the basketball team of having.” Steve informed Eddie dutifully, the dots done connecting.

Eddie, still refusing to open his eyes, snorted.

“Whatever man. Can you at least be decent and hurry up with the beating? This is embarrassing enough.”

“I’m not going to beat you up.” Steve said, thankful that his brain managed not to add some shitty comment about the entire town being awash in rumors of Eddie’s sexuality. That he’d confirmed it here wasn’t exactly a surprise.

“I’m going to try something. If you don’t like it, let me know.” Streve added, before screwing up his courage and leaning down.

That of course, got Eddie to open his eyes.

“Wha--” He managed, before Steve’s lips were on his.

For one single, blissful moment, Eddie Munson’s mouth was too busy to talk.

“Yeah?” Eddie said, voice wrecked, and oh, Steve liked that.

“Huh.” Steve muttered, when they broke for air. “Well that’s new.”

Liked the way Eddie looked at him more, hesitant, but with heat in his gaze.

Steve had always been good about knowing what to do with heat.

He leaned back down, pecking lightly at Eddie’s lips, and was delighted to find Eddie not only let him, but kissed back.

“Not bad, Munson, but I think I could give you a few pointers.” Steve muttered, nose ghosting alongside Eddie’s. “Let me show you…”

One boyfriend, several weeks, and another interdimensional monster later, Steve found himself socked in the arm by none other than his coworker, Robin Buckley.

In her defense, she’d confessed her love for Tammy Thompson, still somewhat drugged on the Starcourt bathroom floor, only for Steve to tease her that at least his boyfriend could actually sing.

“God you and Eddie Munson.” She muttered after, smile on her face. “How did that happen?”

Steve knocked his shoe into hers, returning the grin unabashedly.

“So remember last Valentines Day?” Steve started, all too eager to finally tell someone who understood about the best thing to ever happen to him.

Robin of course, would soon also be ranked in that same chart, but Eddie didn’t need to know that. )

#DADDYS BACK #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #pre steddie to steddie #0o0 fanfics #be gentle with me I JUST got my computer back lmao #this was a warmup I finished out #Ive been writing at work on my lunches #yes I have been working on adopt a jock #and the third part of the holiday hellfire fic #I think I stared at that steddisy one once #maybe #IDK this whole ass month has been a blurr

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radioactive-mouse · 2 months

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I get how tempting it is to just label flower husbands as “toxic” and move on, but god they can be SO much more nuanced than that, it makes me insane.

I think something that goes largely unexplored by the fanbase is c!scott’s obsession with composure. he’s clearly very proud of his ability to stay calm under pressure and be two steps ahead of everyone else— not that he’s afraid to rely on people, him and cleo very clearly have that unshakable trust between them, but i think that sometimes he gets so wrapped up in being steady, reliable scott, never hot-headed, never spiteful, or clumsy, or nervous.

and jimmy is a very real threat to that composure, more often than not.

and i think the way their relationship functions in 3rd life, while steady at the time, definitely set them up for complications down the road. scott, for as fiercely dedicated to his allies as he is, kind of tends to handle jimmy with kid gloves for the earlier parts of their relationship. he’s not very good at the death game, but that’s fine, he doesn’t need to be, scott will take care of it— he’ll get them set up with armor and potions and walls and jimmy can do… whatever it is he does when scott’s not around. mostly getting swindled, if he had to guess. but it’s fine, because scott can be steady, level headed, clever—

i do think most of scott’s ribbing about how he doesn’t know why he lets jimmy do anything when all he does is get scammed half the time is genuinely all in good fun, (jimmy is more than happy to play the fool most of the time, if only to bring a little bit of levity to things) it is super symptomatic of the way scott actually thinks about him. i don’t believe he thinks jimmy is actually stupid or anything, but i do think scott doesn’t quite trust him to get anything done. scott would never in a million years let himself lean on jimmy for any kind of support, because in scott’s mind jimmy’s job is to be bright and brash and only listen to that heart of his that’s too big for his body, too big for this game.

and i think too often we forget just how much losing jimmy destroyed scott in 3rd life. you ever think about how wrecked he must’ve been to place 10th despite being a consistent finalist in every other season? do you think about how all he has left is the burning, white-hot urge for revenge from the second jimmy’s body hit the ground?

i don’t think scott ever wants to feel like that again. i don’t think scott wants anyone to see him like that again. i think scott tries very hard to love jimmy from a safe distance where no one gets hurt. and i think that distance fucking kills jimmy, metaphorically speaking.

(also, tangentially related, i think there’s something to be said for how instantly tango goes “we only have a short time together, your curse will probably get us killed, and that’s fine.” and how jealous scott gets of that sentiment. as far as scott is concerned, tango and jimmy are of the same niche— they feel everything, loudly, even if it causes problems and even if it gets messy. and god that just makes his blood boil.)

i’m just so… entranced with the way scott carries himself with so much confidence and it’s not like he’s insecure, he really believes that, he’s a strong player and he knows that, but also revealing any emotion he deems to be “ugly” or “messy” makes him start to completely unravel. the driving force behind him is always love and loyalty and protectiveness over the people he cares about, but he’s juggling that with being dead set on never getting so close that losing them will completely ruin him.

anyway, this is getting away from me, but i think a lot of jimmy’s frustration with scott comes from the fact that he refuses to let their relationship go both ways, and i think by the time of the infamous “say i love you back” scene in limlife he’s just exhausted with throwing himself repeatedly against scott’s brick wall of perfectionism. that, and the whole Situation between them in double life, which i could honestly make it’s own post but good god i need to STOP typing or this will go on forever. forgive my completely disorganized ramblings i just have been trying to get all this down on paper FOREVER

#FLOWER HUSBANDS.#i’m not over them. i’m not over them at all.#the scott/jimmy/tango/martyn polycule enchants me so……#well i say polycule. but it is riddled with divorce #ANYWAY #trafficblr #solidaritygaming #smajor1995 #scott smajor #flower husbands #3rd life #double life #limited life #do i tag secret life…..#eh might as well #secret life #mouse.txt #oh god also obligatory none of this is speculation about the ccs for the love of god

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khuzena · 2 months

Text

Just a coworker

Dr ratio x g/n!reader (i tried)

Part 1, Part 2

cw. angst, super slow burn, they eventually get tgt, hurf/comfort, jealousy brr, reader is unhinged, mentions of drugs, kinda cringe but who cares I've written worse, not proofread, dr ratio is a pussy

a/n: I HATE LIFE SJNAANAN

A week passed and you got the jist of it, you were already done with the basics but everytime that man always found a reason to keep tutoring you.

You were grading some papers until you felt someone looming over you and snooping around your laptop.

“Hey!”

“Do you really need to shout?”

You hid your laptop away from him as he pried for any more info, causing you to kick his leg.

“Who’re you talking to?”

“Why the hell would you care? Plus im grading some papers, you asshole”

You typed away as he didn't leave your side, just watching you input some values— damn one of your students got a 2/100? Might as well make them repeat a grade.

“Which idiot fails literature? More or less just essay writing?”

“Uh…”, you paused, your other hand getting your coffee and sipping on it, “An illiterate person?”

No other words were shared as you two just sat in silence, him staring at the grading sheet and you typing away on your keyboard.

…

It was a quiet day, peaceful even. If it weren't for a fight that broke out at the food court. You should mind your business, but your favourite student had been gravely injured; worry comes easy.

You ran to the student, one hand rested on his leg as it bled, “Hey, stay with me— breathe.”

Your student, Mike, had been buying some coke from some guy in your coworker’s class, turns out Mike got scammed and well, you did not know the full story to take any full action but the blood shed was enough to panic.

“Mike, Mike!”

You held him, you were not an expert at cpr or had any training on how to deal with that much bleeding or anything about dealing with concussions.

Shit, shit.

“We need a doctor!”

Despite your desperate yelling, none were brave to come forth to help, the others just recording or covering their eyes.

What were you supposed to do?

You held onto mike as the others tried to restrain the guy that hurt him, this was bad.

Until you saw Veritas buying some coffee at the new coffee shop from weeks ago.

“Hey you!”

Veritas does not flinch, he does not respond.

“DOCTOR VERITAS RA—”

He groaned, about to run away yet you yelling his full name was enough to make him regret not buying earplugs prior to this incident.

He walked up to you and your student as he kneeled at the both of you’s level.

“What exactly happened?”

No matter how much he hates you and your guts, he still has a duty as a doctor.

“Some asshole beat him up, fuckin’ hell”

He doesn't say anything, before laying Mike down in a more comfortable position and getting a pill from his pocket.

“What's that?”

“Tylenol”

He forced open Mike's mouth and shoving down a pill.

“Isn't that a tad bit aggressive?” Mike was near choking as you patted his back and elevated his seating position.

“So it's better to airplane the pill in his mouth like he's 2 and let him die then?”

“That's not what I meant.” you sneered before some guys from the medical department ran to your side and took care of it.

Now you two were just standing behind the infirmary door and waiting for any update.

“I'm going to miss my class because of you.”

You laughed, the audacity of this man?

“Then go, I didn't ask you to stay.”

It's so hard to read this man when he has his alabaster head on, you can't even tell what he's thinking.

“You talk too much”

“You started it!”

“Just stop talking”

“Whatever.”

You peaked through the window and saw Mike unconscious on his bed, even though it wasn't your fault, it feels like it is…

You sighed as the nurse left the room, standing still before she spoke, “He's fine. It's good that you and Dr. Ratio was there.”

“Uhh yeah…”

You really didn't do much…

Veritas stayed silent as the nurse left, he's not one to like small talk.

“huff… huff… finally.”

You raised an eyebrow, before registering whose voice it was, your eyes lighting up.

“Amir!”

“Whew… I had to end class early, I learned about what happened too late.”

“It's not your fault”

Amir sighed while leaning so ungodly close to you, before Veritas had some audacity left in him to make a comment, “Actually, it is.”, he really has no shame does he?

“I apologise.”

“Now you're just being rude.”

Veritas turned away, can't that man just leave you both alone?

“I don't care. It was both your student's that got into this mess.”

“I have over a hundred students, how could I monitor all of them?”

“Yet you still have to take responsibility for it. I can't believe you let it get to that level.”

“Then leave, if you're just gonna be rude then shut up.”

Amir's jaw hung when he heard you literally tell the Dr. Ratio himself to shut it, not even the people from the IPC would have this level of audacity. It was your last straw, you've already dealt with enough bullshit for the day.

Usually, he would have some snarky reply up in his sleeves but what's crazy is that he just walked away.

“Did you just—”

“I did.”

“Wow.”

—

You were already about to go home as it was getting late, who knew having to shoulder the aftermath of that fight would be that tiring? No shit sherlock.

Peace and quiet, no one to bother you—

“You there.” that familiar voice echoing in the hallways as loud stomps were nearing your direction.

You spoke too soon. Why him of all people?

“You didn't come to today's tutoring session.”

You crossed your arms, looking up at him. Wow. He wasn't wearing his alabaster head? Can't say that it's new but the opportunity to stare at his face was a rare occurrence. But, he infuriates you too much that you'd rather kiss mud than oogle at him.

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘and’? I was waiting for you.”

You eyed him up and down, he did look upset. But did he really think you'd have the energy to confront him, much less see him after what happened today?

“I told you I wouldn't be able to attend tutoring lessons as I have someone to tutor too”

“When did you say that?”

“Two days ago?”

He was baffled, utterly baffled. When did you say that? You must be lying. Despite his stone head obstructing you from any chance to see him right now, by his voice, he was fuming.

He crossed his arms, his right foot tapping aggressively, “I do not recall you saying that.”

“But I did.”, his eyebrows furrowed as you spoke with clear conviction, what do you mean you did?

“You should've told me.”

“I did.”

“Then— why are you being so difficult?”

“It's not me who's being difficult, why are you even mad?”

Like that, the words at the tip of his tongue vanished. Exactly, why was he so worked up?

“You're just using this as an excuse to not deal with the issue.”

You had enough of his bullshit. You started to walk the other way but he just couldn't leave you alone.

“And what if I am? Get lost.”

“We need to talk.”

You turned your heel and faced him, face red and hot then you pointed at him,

“About what? About how sure it's absolutely my fault about what happened today, I'm an idiot, I don't know anything!”

“Now you're just blowing the issue up into something completely different.”

“What else is there to say?”

“You—”

He got silent, biting his lip under that stone head as his temper got the best of him.

“You really are an idiot.”

…

“Just leave me alone.”

There were no other words exchanged as you walked away, your footsteps getting more faint as a second, another one and another pass.

He shook his head at your outburst, you really were an idiot, incompetent and… whatever. At least now that blabbermouth always peering over his shoulder is gone.

…

As you walked home, you couldn't help but cry. There was nothing to cry over but it was too much. The heads berating you for not paying attention to your students, that a scandal like that could ruin the university— to hell with that shit, to hell with that university.

At least you felt safe, at home, with the company of your cats.

“Meow?”

Ah.

You hugged your cat, its fur getting wet as tears dripped, you were starting to taste the saline tears as it creeped into the corners of your lips.

Your phone rang with notifications from the doctor, Wait— how'd he even get your number? shit. But god won't he just leave you alone?

With a click, the notifications died down leaving only your quiet sniffles and your cat’s purr to be heard in the living room.

You didn't have any energy to eat, to hell with your health.

You turned off the lights and plopped into your bed, your cat joining you (yay) as the soft glow of the lamp illuminated the room.

You let out a yawn, turning the lights off but there was a call notification.

‘From Unknown Number’

You felt the urge to swipe and listen to what he had to say, but it's probably bullshit.

You fell asleep.

[From Unknown Number.]

:hey.

:answer me.

:stop being so difficult and just give me 3 minutes.

:Are you there?

:idiot.

:hey.

[99 more unread messages]

…

Time flies, three days flew by already yet it still feels like yesterday. You feel like shit, yeah the issue has been resolved, everything's fine but why did something just feel so wrong?

It was a good rest though, bless that lady who allowed you to have a few days off.

[From Unknown Number]

:I know you're seeing this.

:Stop acting like a child.

:Come on.

:You moron.

[231 more unread messages]

…

Phew, when you entered the faculty room, there was no Veritas in sight. Good, good.

You laid down your satchel on your desk and readied some stuff before heading out, making sure to check all hallways before you make a move; don't want to see the Doctor so early in the morning. (checking every hallway 24/7? What is this? Fnaf?!?)

Things were uncannily peaceful today, did he not come to work today? Or… Maybe you just got really lucky that you both did not cross paths for today.

“And,” you wrote diligently on the whiteboard, “That ends our discussion for today.”

The time ticked to 4:58 pm, you could already see some of your students pack their things.

“Any questions?”

They all shook their heads no as you finally dismissed them, oh how you missed being in your classroom despite being away for merely 3 days.

Today's a lucky day, no issues, no Veritas Ratio in sight.

“Hey __”

You jolted at the sudden call of your name, your head turning from the sound as you see Amir with a worried expression.

“Oh, Amir?”

So suddenly, he pulled you into a hug.

“What're you doin—”

“I was worried.”

“About?”

“You were no contact with everyone for three days, we were all worried.”

You awkwardly laughed, Amir was a fine man, definitely not your type though. You squirmed away from his hold.

“Yeah, just needed a break”

“Oh, I see.”

He paused, “You good now?”, his tone laced with concern.

“Yeah, at least I think so.”

“That's good.”

Your best friend, he was not stupid. He was intuitive too, he eyed you like you were some sort of experiment and like with any experiment, he's made his hypothesis.

“You don't sound ‘good’”

“What do you mean?”

“Is this about Dr. Ratio?”

Bingo, right on the money. There was no use trying to lie to him, especially not after chuckling awkwardly when you got caught.

You nodded, confirming his guess, “Knew it.”

He was in deep thought as he tried to think of any and every possibility why.

“Are you guys dating or something?”

You choked on your own spit— him of all people? Is he out of his mind? At this point, the idea of getting with that socially inept man sounds like an insult.

“Are you trying to piss me off?”

“Calm down sponge bob squarepants, geez”

You groaned as he handed you a juice box. “Thanks,” you quietly muttered out.

…

It was 5 pm, by now, everyone's probably clocked out by now.

It's weird, a 5 pm where you don't get tutor lessons from him.

Whatever, food for thought.

As you left the faculty room, a small part in you wanted to catch a glimpse of him despite you trying to avoid him. Did you miss him? or was just not being alone at these hours too comforting?

He wasn't there. As expected.

…

The next day, you see Veritas, you two walk past each other, he did not spare you a glance.

“Doctor…”

Wind breezes through the both of you but you stood still as he kept walking to his class. How cold.

It was no use trying to confront him, atleast, not here.

For a second, your gaze softened but you quickly got back to your senses. This feeling was strange.

…

The bell rang and, as usual, everyone left. What a fulfilling job.

This week has been really quiet. Peaceful but something was missing. Your life was fun, not this mundane even before Veritas but a part of you looks for him. No no, you were just being insane or something.

The faculty room door slid open, then, just as you wished would never happen (oh really?) Veritas was at you guys’ usual tutoring spot.

You wanted to run but your bag was there. Mustering up the courage, you tiptoed and grabbed your satchel, it felt like playing a horror game with how stealthy you were trying to be.

Shit.

Your pen fell, hopefully it didn't catch his attention.

Just as you were about to go grab it, he took it and handed it to you.

You gulped and took the pen, wanting to run but you froze on the spot.

“You look stupid trying to act stealthy.”

You didn't reply, only gulping nervously as you stayed still.

“What? Say something.”

Truth is, you had nothing to say.

“Sigh, you really like making things so difficult, don't you?”

He doesn't stop you from leaving, but maybe it was you stopping yourself from leaving.

An awkward silence ensued, it was getting annoying, for him, atleast.

“Aren't you going to leave?”

You don't say anything, just standing still, again.

“Answer me.”

Why did you enter the room?

“...” Veritas walked up to you, his codex not in hand as leaned closer.

“Give me 3 minutes.”

He raised your chin with a finger, face unreadable despite his alabaster head gone. It's the third or fourth? You've lost count how many times you saw his real face. Your memory was shit.

“I just want to talk about how…”

He bit his lip, yet his eyes remained fixed on your blank expression.

“That I want to apologise for my behaviour last week.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

That same old silence, he couldn't find the right words, he doesn't know how to say sorry.

“Well…”

“Well?”

Did he stutter? That's odd; very.

“I…” His eyes leave yours, he's practised saying it but it's the hardest thing he'll ever have to do, “I'm…”

Curious eyes gaze into his conflicted ones. Can he even say it?

“So…” sorry.

“I'm sorry.”

You stare at him with shock, did he just apologise?

“Did I hear that right?”

“God damn it.”

He pulled away and walked away to his desk but you followed him, “Hey, did you mean it?”

“Why wouldn't I?”

He knew you'd react like this, he expected you to laugh, mock him or anything but you just look at him with a look of shock—

“I see.”

—And somewhat relieved of what he said.

“I'm sorry too.” He was envious of how easily you spoke those words, you were no genius, yet you were better than him at apologising.

“I shouldn't uh—”

“I just want to say that—”

You cleared your throat, licking your lips in anxiety, “You go first”

“No you—”

“No, you.”

He hung his head low, before looking in your direction.

“It was uncalled for me to treat you and that man that way.”

“I'm listening.”

“I didn't take into account that you both were probably stressed from the situation and…”

He couldn't find the words, nothing was new to him. Complex maths? Easy. Medicine? Easy. Philosophy? Done. History? Is this a joke? He knows everything!

Other than one thing.

“I'm sorry.”

Apologising.

His words brought you immense relief, it was your turn to speak. For the first time, you can read his face. He looked pitiful. Did he not get enough sleep lately?

“I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you.”

How could you just have the knack to be so… Human? That, he couldn't understand. Being genuine, felt new.

“I understand.”

…

“What now?”

He fixed his books on the shelf, the ones he wanted to share with you.

“I dont know.”

“I thought you knew everything?”

He rolled his eyes as you teased him for it, he shouldn't have apologised.

“Stop talking, and also.”

He handed you some wipes, what was it for?

“Your hand,” you looked down at your dominant hand, seeing whiteboard marker creases, “Clean it up.”

“Oh okay.”

You wiped the stains off, but you wondered how perceptive he was. You didn't even notice it yourself.

“How's the tutor lesson with your student?”

Ah, that guy. It's been long since you've finished tutoring him with the basics.

“Went smoothly, he passed his exam”

He hummed, he finished tidying up his desk, good that you listened to his lectures.

“What did you teach him?”

“Until just page 25”

“Huh?”

But you studied the entire book with him, if you just needed help with just page 25, the tutor session would've only taken a week.

“Did you just keep going to the tutor sessions to see me?”

“Maybe, maybe not”

A soft smile creeped up in your face as you saw him short circuit for a bit before regaining his senses.

“You jest”

“I do not.”

…

“So… When's the next session?”

“At my place, tonight. It's getting late.”

Oh? At his place? What a bold offer—

“Just reviewing?”

“Just reviewing.”

You laughed as he rolled his eyes, the two of you leaving the faculty room.

“Under one condition.”

You raised an eyebrow, what was he asking for now?

“A date.”

“Pardon?”

“Do I have to repeat myself?”

You choked on your spit, that's absurd— god.

“No, I heard you. Fine.”

“Agreeing that easily?”

“Do you want me to refuse?” He was starting to get cocky, might as well drag him back down to earth.

“No, you still need to learn more about Quantum Mechanics.”

“Fine.”

…

Veritas pulled you close to him as you both walked the sidewalk, isn't he such a gentleman?

“The tab's on you?” no way were you paying the tab, he better pay it.

He scoffed, he could feel you hold onto his arm as he made sure you were on the right side of the lane to protect you of some sort.

“Whatever, you moron. Hurry up, we still have so much to review.”

A/N: its so bad wtf😭😭😭😢

#dr ratio x reader #dr ratio x you #dr ratio fluff #dr ratio angst #hsr fluff #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail angst #veritas ratio

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brucewaynehater101 · 3 days

Note

Okay, you know that hc where Tim Reincarnates as The Trash of the Bat Family? It got me thinking of him scamming and making the "Real League of Assassins". He integrates Pru, Z and Owens early, makes them his people (or assassins disguised as servants).

"Where's the coffee?"

Owens, pouring chamomile tea, "We're all out of coffee, Sir."

"Energy drinks?"

Pru, throwing a trash bag away. "All gone too, Sir."

He integrates Kon before he experiences the SA with Tana Moon and other ladies, and Kon becomes his bodyguard.

"Are we doing something bad?"

"Oh, we're doing something veeeeery bad. To Lex Luthor."

Tim rescuing Damian.

"You're Damian Al Ghul Wayne. You're an Al Ghul and a Wayne. You can do whatever you want. I'm not taking care of you."

Damian, not trusting this lying bastard, secretly follows him around. Tim knows Damian is, and begrudgingly just accepts Damian into his fold until he reaches Gotham again.

"If you die, Timothy, I will dominate the world, kill everyone, and then myself."

I love these additions so much!!!

The "Real League of Assassins" is such a petty name, and I live for it. Just Tim as a kid and his little League of Assassins (depending on how far back he went into the past and how soon he aquires the OG best assassin squad). It would be double hilarious if his "Real League of Assassins" doesn't actually kill anyone, but I also respect Tim's right to commit murder however he deems fit. I like to imagine how mad Ra's would get at the name.

Part of Tim's asshole cover comes from Pru. There's two ways this can go. One, Pru is her complete self in front of everyone (she will break someone's nose no matter their price tag). This causes major scandals and issues for Tim cause how could he hire someone who behaves like that? Or Two, Pru is creepily pleasant and respectful around other company, and Tim continues to act like usual around her. This causes people to pity Pru for having such a horrible boss.

I also live for Bodyguard Kon AUs. You know the two of them are playing a "I know your sickly Victorian child looking ass can beat me up, but I will pretend I don't know this until you tell me why" with a "please stop saving me from every small things because I know you know a sunburn isn't going to kill me." It's dealer's choice on how soon Kon finds out about Tim's vigilante gig. Also, if Kon is a bodyguard in this, is he also Superboy or the equivalent? Does he become a superhero once he finds out about Tim's heroism? There's no way Kon would stick around Tim if he believed the persona Tim kept up.

Cue Tim accidentally forming the YJ again, but this time it's hidden from the JL radars and is a closely guarded secret.

As far as Damian, I absolutely love that quote you included. It's so Damian coded and I live for him threatening to take over the world. I also want to see Tim's reaction and how concerned he is over Damian threatening to kill himself. As an older brother, he legit could care less about Damian managing to kill the entire world. It's Damian wanting to die that scares him.

As far as the AU, Tim is trying so hard to distance himself from the Waynes that his dumbass shouldn't have picked up Damian in person. He was probably too anxious to leave it to someone else, but now he has a tiny suspicious assassin who reluctantly became fond of him.

There's a few different ways this can play out.

One, Tim picks up Damian in his vigilante costume and never unmasks to Damian. The little tot starts to think of this vigilante as maybe a brother before being given to Bruce (angst of abandonment tied with identity shenanigans. How soon does Damian realize that Timothy "Trash" Drake is the one to save him from the League?).

Two, Tim starts off with his secret identity in tact but reveals himself while traveling back. They bond, Damian is left at Bruce's, and, to the surprise of literally all the Waynes, the kid is seen constantly talking to the complete jerk Timothy Drake. Damian is actually nicer to this douchebag stranger than he is to some of his family members. What's equally shocking is how kind Tim is to Damian. Tim hasn't been cruel to children before, but he hasn't gone out of his way to be nice either. This cues investigations into Tim by the batfam.

Three, Damian refuses to go live with his dad and sticks around Tim when they return to Gotham. Depending on when Tim rescues Damian, Tim's fake uncle adopts Damian, and they become brothers legally. When Bruce finds out Damian is his son, he doesn't take the excuse, "I found him on the streets!" from Tim seriously.

#dc comics #dc universe #tim drake #dc au #damian wayne #kon el #dc prudence #thank you for the ask!!!!#y'all remember to be careful when adding romantic relationships to time travel #timkon is cute but the age difference (even though Tim's body regresses) could get spooky here

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your-nanas-house · 2 months

Text

She could be my "woman"

◇ Pairing: Robert Fisher X fem!Reader/ (future Robert Fischer X android!Reader)

◇ Warnings: angst, androids, security, fear, business, robots as "slaves"

◇ Summary: Robert fears for his safety and tries his luck with Y/n's business.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. FINALLY wrote the first part of the fic I mentioned months ago!

Robert chuckled at that.

"What is this, a movie?" he mocked, trying to lighten the mood, his light eyes staring at the old woman in front of him as if she was nuts.

He called her that day for a specific reason... his security and now she was talking about some weird futuristic stuff.

"I thought we were talking about a security system, not personal assistants!" He reminded her slightly annoyed by the situation.

When he didn't receive a response, he tried again with a softer tone this time.

"I can see why your granddaughter would need someone to try this out," he started, rubbing his chin with his long fingers, "...But I can hardly be her test case.... I can't believe androids are that advanced."

The disbelief of the young man was understandable and the older woman got perfectly Robert's point of view but was still a bit offended by the lack of trust in her... after all the years she had worked with his father.

"You're underestimating my granddaughter, dear. I tested them out as well...they do anything and if someone tries to enter your dreams they come inside as well working as your bodyguard there too" she informed him with a soft nod.

Security and assistance, Robert thought not believing at a word.

He raised his eyebrow surprised by the informations but still with the feeling of being made fun of. "This has to be a joke," he said, shaking his head.

"Your granddaughter created androids that protect you even in your dreams? I've heard some insane things in my life but that tops the cake."

And as words of mockery left his mouth he couldn't help but imagining it happen to him... Having someone watching over him even in his most vulnerable moments... it wouldn't be so bad.

After a couple of minutes in silence the older woman spoke again, her shaking and wrinkly hands put a note on his rich desk

"Think about it, if you need more information just call my granddaughter, she will be able to explain everything to you."

It wasn't a bad idea after all.

Robert looked down at the card in his hand, sighing. He had hoped to convince the older wise woman to work with him as well, but this was a nice alternative.

And as soon as she left his office he grabbed his phone, he read the number and then dialed it.

He couldn't waste any precious time and luckily for him, he didn't have to wait much.

A female voice replied after just a couple of rings, introducing herself as 'Y/n Y/l/n' exactly as he expected. She sounded calm and young.. probably in her 20s, her tone made him feel at ease and it was quite charming even though a bit awkward.

"Good morning, miss. I'm Robert Fischer... I had a meeting with your grandmother today and she gave me your number. I'll put my hands forward and tell you that I don't really believe in all this, it seems excessive and not very functional to me but... I have nothing to lose so I'm willing to try, and even if it is a scam, I'm pretty sure I could deal with it very easily. If you know what I mean..." Robert informed her with a calm tone, his hand busy playing around with his pen as his face remained tilted and rested against the back of his chair... serious as his business mask.

It was business after all, he needed some kind of security around him and the guarantee of being 100% safe every day.

"But I would like to know more about this androids" he quickly added after not receiving an answer, his heart strangely beating fast in his chest and his hand sweated anxiously

"Oh, sure thing. I can do that, are there any specific questions? Or would you like to receive the policy first?" the voice replayed softly, echoing now in his empty office.

He could actually hear her moving around, probably working or getting ready for something in a rush... not that he cared though.

At the questions Robert sat up in his seat, his grip tightened around the pen as he thought quickly before dropping it on the desk and let his light blue eyes travel towards the phone.

"I want to know everything. Starting from how they work, what they can do, where they come from and most importantly... how protected I am with them watching over me" The business man listed while staring intently at the object as if it would make Y/n reply faster at everything.

There was a soft music in the background, he could hear it, even if a bit muffled, and his mind focused on it, snapping back just when her voice interrupted the melody with her owns

"Well first of all I won't tell you how I created them. I'm not stupid, am I? They can do anything you want them to, they come from my cellar" she informed with a soft chuckle after apologizing and explaining to him the reason of the background noises.

"You are 99,9% protected, they have the ability to watch over you whenever you need or don't need. Not in a creepy way of course. They have the ability to enter your dreams if someone else does, so that they can protect you.... They are also loyal to their owners and you can set the program you prefer. There are a lot of different androids... each one more adapt for a situation" she explained with a more focused and professional tone, her knowledge and passion for her creations showing just by the seriousness of her speech.

She made it sound pretty acceptable and intriguing, leaving Robert silent for a moment, still and lost in his thoughts as he took in the informations. He honestly wasn't expecting such a comprehensive answer from her.

"They sound like the perfect companions," the man said, making an attempt at joking before asking her other questions, his hands already turning on his laptop

"What kind of androids are there, where can I purchase them and what sort of program do you suggest should be installed in them?"

It really was catching his interest, even if he didn't really believe in all the progress the science was doing lately... but he still was willing to try.

"Well... They are like puppies, Mr. Fisher. Like pets, without need to care too much for them. And it's highly depends on your situation and what I have down here." She explained while probably pouring herself a cup of something.

A moment of silence and Robert hummed lost in thoughts again, surprised and amused by Y/n's analogy.

"I'm glad that I won't have to worry about them too much," he murmured, rubbing his chin "And I'll happily take a look at what you have available. My main concern is my dreams, so what do you suggest to deal with that?" He murmured out, leaning back to stare at the ceiling and glance at the phone... she wasn't answering anymore but he could feel that she was thinking intently.

Then... her harsh words of truth came out "Your voice sounds lonely, you are probably sitting in a rich office, playing with something in your hand while you talk to me— I want to try to give you my first invention" the young woman declared cheerfully, making sure he didn't took her analysis as an insult before starting to explain again.

"I'm pretty proud of her. And I will make sure to deliver everything as soon as the payment is done also I'm sending you the contract so that you know that whatever the android sees it will remain between you and them" the young woman quickly stated, ready to say goodbye and hang up.

It was convincing... enough to bewitch Robert and his business mind, which was now fully engaged, even though a part of him was still cautious.

He wasn't really sure about allowing someone else to intrude so deep in his personal space and in such a little time. "How do I know that the androids and their recordings will remain private? What if they witness something... embarrassing or something that should remain fully private?" The man asked lowly, tapping his fingers against the rich wood of his desk.. he couldn't and didn't want to afford a scandal.

"I make you sign the contract because of that. I have no intention to look through all the memory. I just delete everything when their work it's done" Y/n reassured him sweetly with a soft chuckle, giving her availability 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in case of questions or problems.

Robert considered it all in silence, weighing his options carefully. On one hand, he was still hesitant about sharing his space with these things.

But on the other hand, they would be guarding his dreams, which was exactly what he needed. And their "mother" seemed trustworthy enough to make him take things further.

"I want to see the contract first," he stated thoughfully, adding after a small break of suspance "If I like its terms, I'm ready to sign."

And she already did, everything was in his laptop now. So Robert checked his emails, finding the contract attached.

He opened the PDF with a single click and began reading, his eyes scanning each word for any potential loopholes or hidden meanings.

After a few minutes of reading, he let out a sigh and printed it out, signing it before scanning it and sending it back to her along with a brief message:

"I agree to the terms, please start the installation as soon as possible. RF"

Since their call had ended just a couple of minutes before he could have finished to read it all.

Afyer that, the proceedings began and the young woman asked him a couple of personal questions, plus an address before reporting to him the date and the hour of the delivery.

'To: Robert Fischer, NYC'

Android n. 0.0'

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pregnant-piggy · 1 year

Text

Hope

Kaz Brekker x reader

word count: 5.2k

summary: left with nothing but a broken heart in Ketterdam, you decide to start life anew across the sea. but first there is someone you need to say goodbye to

The wind was whirling around your body, howling between the squeaking ships. It tugged and pulled on all sides. Stung in your eyes, but that could also be the tears you were trying to hold back.

You weren't sure why it affected you this much. You had known from the start that it was bound to end in doom, that nothing about it would work, but you had nurtured a futile hope like it was a wounded bird. Carefully, delicately, but it had grown stronger over time. The broken shatters of your heart had allowed themselves to heal and now the seams were ripped open again. You were bleeding life. No wound had ever hurt this much.

-=-=-=-

Your foot tapped a rhythm on the creaking floorboards as you tried to focus on your surroundings. It had been better this time. Not faultless—it never was—but better. You were in, would get the money, and then you'd be out again. Simple as that.

Of course, nothing was ever that simple in Ketterdam.

The papers in front of you were false. Your story was a lie. Your identity a scam. The only truthful thing about you was that you were physically there, but that was only because you didn't trust anyone enough to do this for you. You knew that you could have asked some of your old friends to do this—it probably would have been easier to let them do it. In, out, done, without having to go through the entire act. But they were still working for him. And you didn't want him included. Anymore.

You could do this alone. You'd done it before. Stuttering and stammering so badly that they had asked you if you were alright, but in the end you'd gotten the money. This time you were prepared.

The door opened and a tall man with grey hair stepped into the office. "Good morning."

You flashed the man a smile. All a scam.

He settled in the chair behind the desk. Bart Sleutel. Bart Key—ironic, considering he was the key to your plan. The small instrument that would open the door for you.

"You asked for an early payment of your loan," Sleutel said.

You'd tried to do honest work, but there wasn't much in Ketterdam. And you could take the person out of the Dregs, but never the Dreg out of the person. Or so you had found.

"Yes," you said, flashing that same smile. "My landlord raised the rent and my new job won't pay out until next month."

Sleutel raised an eyebrow. "Another new job?"

"Yes, sir. The previous one did not pay enough to cover the rent. This one does."

You waited for him to ask what the new job was, but Sleutel seemed smart enough not to want to know.

"So you want an early payment."

"Correct."

"You have asked for early payment before."

"Yes."

"And you understand, of course, that while one time is acceptable, these types of things happening twice is highly unusual."

It wasn't. You knew because you'd been living in Ketterdam for years and the city was like the back of your hand. Its streets and alleys, its people, its rules and habits. There wasn't a single part of Ketterdam unfamiliar to you. And so you knew that the bank would give you the second loan early. And that third and fourth at that too. Because it meant profit.

You also knew because you had done the exact same thing at six other banks already.

"We cannot make this a standard," Sleutel said. "But as the bank sees your struggle we will come forth with a proposal."

You wondered what they did with the people that genuinely were in need of money. With the people that didn't have a fake registration at the university, that had no proof of the hard work they'd been doing to come around. Would the bank listen to them too? Or were they only talking with you because your name was registered under a company that would pay tremendous taxes to the government, had it been real?

But you sat and smiled. Listened to the proposal. You already knew it, of course. You'd done your homework. You listened as Sleutel explained the costs would be higher, that they could fine you if you did not pay back in time, that next time you came back, you had to bring proof of your payments before you could request another loan.

You listened and nodded and agreed, smiling to yourself as there was one thing Sleutel didn't know.

You were never coming back.

-=-=-=-

You could hear the sea, waves slamming against waves, masses of water swirling and coiling and circling. The sea was someone's great escape. The way to get out of this rotten city and away from her ruined inhabitants. To start life anew. An escape from the trap that was laid out between dirty rivers and gambling dens and decaying architecture.

But it was too late for you to escape from this trap.

Like tripping over an invisible wire, you had stumbled and fallen. Hard. All the way down until you weren't sure anymore if you were still falling or had hit the ground and splattered. It was pitch black and you couldn't see where you were going, if you were going anywhere at all. You thought things had been moving forward but standing here, waves and wind and tears, you realised that you couldn't have been more wrong.

The thing about being lost is that it isn't half as bad when you're not alone. When there is someone who will try to find the way with you. Someone whose hand you can hold. Figuratively.

And you were so sure you had found that person. Someone willing to face the battles of life with you. To watch enemies get defeated and to celebrate the victories. Someone who had seen the shambles of your heart and didn't try to force them together but held them until they started to heal.

Now that someone was handing you back the shatters and this time you weren't sure if you were strong enough to fit them together anymore.

-=-=-=-

Ketterdam was a monstrous city, like someone had taken everything that was wrong with the world and put it in one place. It was a cruel beast, but at the seams beauty peeked through. A woman selling fresh fruit with a genuine smile. Two children running around singing songs. The ancient arc of a building that was untouched by renovations. When the sun slipped through the clouds and smoke and even the poorest people would find a sliver of hope in the rubble.

Even monsters could be beautiful. You knew all about that.

That was why you had stayed so long. Why you hadn't just robbed a bank and run away. You needed to say goodbye to the city that had been your home for so many years. You needed time to say goodbye to the people that you'd miss. Time to accept that this was it. The end of Ketterdam for you.

You were at peace with it. The city had given you all it had and there was nothing left anymore. Nothing tying you to the crooked streets and flashing lights. You were done with the fights, the sneaking around, the deceiving. There was enough money to buy your way out of it now.

But first, there was someone you needed to say goodbye to.

You slipped into alleys no one else used, crossed bridges full of tourists with masks, and walked and walked until the streets turned silent and the houses dark.

She was already sitting there. So still that you wouldn't have noticed her if you hadn't known she'd be there. But her perfect posture gave way to a smile and relaxed shoulders.

"You're late," she said, shifting to make room for you.

"A minute. The guy at the bank wouldn't shut up about the taxes."

Inej's eyebrow quirked. "So you got it?"

She was the only one who had kept in touch with you after everything fell apart. Friends are a dangerous thing when you're a criminal but for Inej, you'd put it all aside. The bond you had was strange to anyone else's eye but it worked. There was no time for tea dates or girl nights when you had to fight for your existence everyday but your friendship had grown in the moments between jobs, fleeting glances in the streets, caring for the other's injuries, picking each other's brains during preparations. And, of course, bitching about one person in particular.

Inej knew of your plans. She encouraged you because asking you to stay was selfish and you kept each other's freedom as the number one priority. She was a little jealous, you could tell, because she couldn't leave yet. A little sad to see you gone. But she didn't say a word because she also knew that this wasn't the end of you yet. You'd be there the moment Inej Ghafa realised her dream and you'd do anything to make that come true.

"I got it," you grinned, slumping down next to her. "Of course I did."

"When do you go?"

"As soon as I can. Staying here only enlarges the chance anyone finds out what I'm up to and I can't risk it now." You sighed, looking at the empty house in front of you. "There's a ship setting sail tomorrow night. I'll be on it."

Inej let out a soft sigh. "I will miss you."

You didn't want to address the pain in your heart upon hearing that. You had to go. You wanted to but you hated that it meant you had to leave your best friend behind.

"I will miss you, too," you said softly. "All of this, actually. I never thought anyone could get so attached to a city."

"Just the city?"

You glared at Inej. "Yes. Just the city."

Inej hummed, but not in agreement. "I don't believe you."

You were silent for a very long time. All the memories played in your head and you wanted to blink them away but you couldn't. The office nights. The stake-outs under the starry sky. The impromptu dinners covered with weak lies—we were here anyway already and it will be a long night. The mornings of waking up without realising you'd fallen asleep so close together. The quick brushes of hands. So many featherlight touches you hadn't dared to believe were real. The hint of a smile. The linger of an eye. And then once, the hovering of lips, the breath on your skin, the pounding of hearts. The last time being so close.

Then it fell apart.

It was all in your head. The start. The middle. The end. Every single moment together and apart. Over-analysed again and again and again because you needed to convince yourself that you were better off now. You were fine. You were on your own and doing better than ever before.

But as you looked at Inej and her knowing smile and her kind eyes, and as you thought of just the city? you weren't so sure of your reasons anymore. You had made yourself believe that you were leaving because you were ready for a new adventure. Because you had outgrown Ketterdam. Maybe you were just doing it because you wanted to run away. Away from the memories that plagued your mind every moment of the day. Away from ever having to face your past. You wanted to be gone from it all. Gone gone gone.

So when Inej took your hand carefully, gave you an encouraging squeeze, you smiled sadly and whispered, "Maybe not just the city."

"Have you spoken with him?"

You shook your head. "I wouldn't even know what to say. I don't know if there is anything to say."

"There is plenty to say," Inej said.

Again you shook your head. "He made it crystal clear we were over."

"So? Just because it is over doesn't mean that you never have to talk about it. You both owe each other an explanation. He broke your heart and you're still hurting. You left without a word and broke his heart."

"I doubt that."

Inej sighed. "He is still hurting too. You know him better than anyone else, sometimes even better than he knows himself, and you know how he felt for you. You weren't the only one in that relationship and you leaving hurt him just as much as him breaking your heart hurt you."

You looked down. It wasn't as if you had wanted to leave, but things had grown so icy you couldn't stay any longer. There were no conversations unless forced to. Any proximity was avoided at all costs. And the stares.

Oh, the stares. There were so many of them. From the side, across the room, right in front of you. A glance during a job. Fleeting eyes when walking past. You hadn't minded them before because you'd known the meaning behind them, the unspoken words that lingered behind those pupils. But after, the stares had changed. Harder. Colder. Longer. More intense and filled with an emotion you hadn't known how to read. You had not been able to stand it, to endure being a stranger to someone you thought you had known so well.

So you left. Ran. Fled. Maybe from your life.

Maybe just from Kaz.

-=-=-=-

"I don't think we should do this anymore."

"What?"

You looked up. He was standing so calmly, so serene. Like those exact words hadn't just passed his lips. His expression was closed off, walls so thick even you couldn't see through them.

"We’re done. This—" he gestured vaguely “—is over.”

"Why?"

You shook your head. It couldn't be that the person you had started to care for more than anyone else in the world would do this. There were plans together. For tomorrow night. For next week. For a year from now.

You hadn't dared to believe it but as more time passed, you had allowed yourself to wonder about a future. Together. A possibility that this feeling could stretch beyond the dirty waters and rotten streets of the criminal city. That there was beauty in the years ahead of you. A chance.

And you had believed that he thought the same thing. That you had seen it in his eyes when he looked at you and heard it in his voice when he talked to you. It was the slightest of lingering and a softness so strange that you hadn't known what to do with it the first time you'd heard it.

But it had been there. Proof as clear as day. The brush of a hand when he walked past. The warmth of a chest behind you, never quite touching but you didn't need him to. And then, after a while, there had been the feeling of protection. The sense of knowing that there was someone watching over you. You hadn't liked it, did not need protection, but as it eased on you, you had realised how comfortable it was to take a breath, just for a moment. To let down your guard and see the world from a different point of view. And when you'd turned to him, you had found the same feeling written over his features. Your castle had turned into his and his into yours.

But now he was pulling the bridge, locking you out.

"Why?"

You hated the rise in your voice. The weakness of disappointment that seeped through.

"You know why."

"I don't."

But he shook his head, turned down his face. You couldn't reach him anymore.

"This never should have happened in the first place. This was a mistake."

You looked at him for a long time, then said, "You really think so. You really believe that."

He was unfazed. "I do."

"And you think it's my fault."

"I never said that."

"You don't need to. I know." A sudden anger filled you. Anger because you couldn't bear dealing with the pain right now. "You think it's my fault that for once in your life you showed a grain of humanity and you actually liked it. Just this once you allowed yourself to think that maybe there is more to life than money and criminality, and that scared you so now you're trying to blame me. But you brought this on yourself. I didn't 'weaken your defences' or make you 'soft'. That was all you, Kaz."

He stared at you, long and hard. Anger burned in the corners of his eyes. He flexed his fingers.

"Get out."

His voice was softer than you'd ever heard before but full of barely constrained anger. You didn't like it. You wanted him to shout back at you. To get angry. You did not want to have this fight on your own.

But instead he swallowed. Took a breath that was only a bit too deep to be normal. Repeated. "Get out."

"So that is it?" you said, biting the inside of your mouth to hold back the uninvited tears. "This is how you end it?"

His jaw twitched. "What do you want? Tears? Pleas? Sympathy?" He laughed, the sound of rocks being crushed. "You know me better than that."

"I thought I did." You looked at him. Tense jaw, tight lips. His perfectly sculpted nose and those old eyes. His dark hair that you had noticed he'd let grow longer after you told him it suited him. One strand fell on his forehead and you wished you were back in the place where he would have allowed you to brush it back. But you figured that place didn't exist any longer. "Now I'm not so sure."

"Get. Out." His eyes were like fire. "Get out of this house. Out of this damn city for all I care, but don't ever show your face here again."

And you laughed. Laughed right in his face because you didn't want to cry in front of him. Laughed because you were falling apart on the inside and nothing could stop it. You laughed as you stepped back, taking one last look. Laughed as you left the room, left the house, left the street, walked, ran, sprinted until you could see the waves of the dark grey sea. Laughed as you looked over your shoulder and promised yourself you would never go back.

-=-=-=-

"I don't know," you said, shaking your head. "I wouldn't know what to say."

Inej gave you a small smile and you thought she was being kind to you, but then you noticed another layer. The one you knew so well but hated that you did.

"Oh, Inej, what have you done?"

"What had to be done." She looked at you with an expression that was close to pity. "You deserve to start anew somewhere else and I do not ever want to take that opportunity from you, but you cannot pretend like it meant nothing. Because in a world like this you found something that most people don't even dare to dream of and you should not take that for granted."

You swallowed and looked away. You didn't want your best friend scolding you. Even if she was right.

"Don't you think that across the waters life would be better if you had closure on this? And don't you think it would be fair to him if you gave him an explanation?"

"Life is not fair," you muttered.

"No, life isn't," Inej admitted. "But you are. And so is he. In his own ridiculous way."

You sighed. You knew Inej was right. Of course she was. But that didn't mean you liked it. You had done perfectly fine alone the past months. You had fought off gangs, tricked landlords into giving you a space to live, deceived banks to give you money that they would never see again—all that was fine. But the mere thought of having to face Kaz Brekker made you nauseous and nervous. It was ripping seams you had closed quickly and messily, opening doors you'd thrown shut.

It wasn't as if you had a choice. Inej slipped from the bench, disappearing into the darkness, but not before she gave you a quick, tight hug and whispered in your ear, "I didn't even need to convince him."

Then she was gone and you didn't have time to think of when you'd next see her again because there was the sound that any gang member in the Barrel—friend or foe—recognised. The ticking of the iron end on the cobblestones. Rhythmic. Stable. Unwavering.

Until he got closer.

It was not that you had never seen Kaz again—you had. Ketterdam was a big city, yes, but it always seemed like the people one avoided were right around the corner. You had seen Kaz plenty of times, but always from afar and never intentionally. You didn't speak to him, didn't even want him to see you. Each time you'd caught sight of that black hair and that damned cane, you turned around. He had wanted you gone, so that was what you'd been.

But now there was no turning away, no running back, no hiding.

At first glance, he looked no different from any other day in his grey suit and black gloves. He was leaning on his cane, hand resting atop it. His face was inscrutable. His hair was short again.

Yet, you hadn't missed the falter in his steps. And now you didn't miss the way his fingers flexed, the hitch in his breath as he glanced up, the uncertainty in his eyes.

Inej had said that he'd come willingly and you wondered what he wanted from you. Kaz Brekker did no charity.

He stared at you for a long time and you didn't look away. You remembered the time when those eyes had been your gateway to wonderland. Now the gates were shut and you were left wondering on your own.

"You're leaving."

His voice was so painfully the same that a surge of anger took hold of you. Who did he think he was, coming here for an 'explanation' when he had been the one to tell you to get out of the city? What did he want? For you to fall to your knees and beg him to take you back? Or did he just want to make sure you were really going? You didn't know which one hurt the most.

"Yes, I'm leaving," you said. "Don't things just work out perfectly for you? Just like you wanted."

Kaz's eyes hardened but you scoffed. You didn't care if he got angry. It didn't matter anymore. Inej'd said that you needed to give him an explanation, but you never promised anything. You could get up and leave. Run away. Again.

Yet, something held you in place and you hated to think that it might be Kaz.

"Why are you leaving?" His voice sounded so sincere that you almost laughed.

Because of him. It had always been because of him. You'd stayed in Ketterdam for so long, even when opportunities of leaving came by, because of him. You'd never had a home and you thought you had found it in this wretched city but in the end it turned out it had never been the city. It had been him.

And now you would leave because of him. Because you couldn't bear being in the places that held those bittersweet memories. Because everything reminded you of him and you didn't want to think of him. Because he told you to go.

Because your head told you to leave and your heart was too broken to fight.

"I've grown tired of the city," you said instead.

Kaz looked at you as if he knew you were lying. "Grown tired of the city?" he repeated sceptically.

You shrugged. "Or the city's grown tired of me."

"It never could."

You stared at Kaz. He seemed unbothered. You hated it but could not stop thinking why. Why was he here?

There were a thousand things you wanted to tell him. From the thoughts you’d had when you’d seen him for the first time to the way you’d felt when he’d brushed his hand to yours that one time in the silent street and when you had learned that he made sure there were never any carrots in your hutspot because he knew you didn’t like them to the pain you had felt these past months. You wanted to tell him of the nights you had lain awake in the Slat wondering what he would do if you’d knocked on his door. And of the past nights you had stared at the ceiling of your boarding room, wondering if you were making the biggest mistake of your life. You wanted to tell him of all the times you had thought of running back to him.

But you couldn’t tell him. And that realisation made your heart break all over again. You had tried so hard to convince yourself that you were better off alone, but deep down you knew that one word from Kaz would put you right back to where you’d started.

“What are you doing here?” You got up. Stood in front of Kaz. Stared into his deep brown eyes. “Why did you come, Kaz?”

But he didn’t answer. Instead he said, “You’ve given me no answer yet.”

And you wouldn’t. Because he knew the answer perfectly well and you wouldn’t let him hurt your pride that much.

“Inej seems to think I owe you an explanation, but you and I know better than that. Did you tell her what you said to me?”

His jaw tightened.

“That’s what I thought.” You gave a dry laugh. “Ghezen forbid anyone ever dare think that Kaz Brekker has feelings.” You shook your head. “She also thinks I broke your heart, but I’m not even sure you have one to begin with.”

Kaz kept staring at you with that steady, cold gaze of his. “Why did you do it then? If you believe me to be heartless.”

“Because I was stupid enough to hope. And I know what you say about hope, that it’s a weakness and will always let you down, and maybe you’re right but you know what I have found? This city grows on hope. Hope that the next spin will pay off. Hope that the investment makes a fortune. Hope that we live to see another day.”

You weren’t sure where the words were coming from. Maybe they had been inside you all along and were now spilling from the split seams of your heart. Maybe they were the harsh lessons you had learned while on your own. Maybe they were just annoying stabs, an attempt to fuel his anger, to hurt him like he had you.

“Everyone hopes. Even those who claim differently. So what do you hope for, Kaz? Money? Revenge? Love? Invincibility?”

Kaz gave no reaction.

“You know, I was selfish enough to think that it was me for a while, but now I can’t tell the difference between what I thought and what was true anymore. Sometimes I wonder if any of it was ever true.

“I hoped for you, Kaz, and that is the worst decision I have ever made in my life. You were right; we never should have happened.”

He was still looking at you, saying nothing. His face was closed off and no matter how you searched there were no cracks. No seams to his mask and you weren’t entirely sure if it was a mask at all. This was just him, blank, apathetic, uncaring. It was impossible to think that once you’d believed differently.

“So you’re leaving,” he finally said.

You smiled humourlessly. “Yes. Gladly so. Everybody happy in the end.”

“Hm,” Kaz only hummed. He flexed his fingers, then gave a nod. “Alright. Safe journey.”

“So it seems.”

But Kaz didn’t step away and neither did you. You didn’t know what you were waiting for; you’d had your say and you doubted he wanted to have his. Yet you could sense that there was something he did want to say. His unspoken words hung in the air between you, so tense and burning that you could almost read them coming from his lips.

Then they were gone. He took a step back and shook his head, staring at you with a strange expression. The sudden urge to reach out for him rose inside you, but you swallowed it down. You and him were done and this was the last time you’d see him. One way or another you had to accept that, even if it felt wrong.

“Goodbye, Kaz.”

This was the end. You were getting out.

-=-=-=-

The sun was sinking below the horizon when you boarded the ship. Kaz was watching from afar, not trusting himself to get closer.

You were right; he had no heart. Where it should have been there was a hollow cave in his chest. A gaping hole that slowly filled with darkness until it felt like he was drowning again. He was ruthless, unfeeling, and cruel. He didn’t care about the world as he should, but he couldn’t care about that either. He was a monster, leaving everyone guessing what pumped the blood through his veins.

He had no heart because you’d broken it.

Once it had beat for you, but now all that was left was shatters and dust. It shouldn’t have bothered him, but it did. So he watched you leave while the water rose around him, pulling him under.

He had never wanted for this to happen. You’d asked him what he hoped for and the answer had always been and would always be you. It was you when you’d stepped into his office for the first time, a bit scared, a whole lot more courageous. It was you when you’d been brought in with a stab wound in your side and he’d nearly combusted as they’d stitched you back up and he couldn’t get close. It was you on dark stake-outs, in-between meals, mornings where the sun dared to show its first beams and sleep laced your every move as you walked with him through the Ketterdam streets. It was you every moment you were near and far. Every single time he wished he could still his demons and reach out to you. Every time he tried and lost the battle.

And it had been you when you’d stood in front of him and he had said the words he would regret the rest of his life.

He barely ate. Didn’t sleep. Felt the life slip from his grip as he could only think about you and the biggest mistake of his life. There were so many ‘should have’s, so many things he could have done differently.

But when it came to you he didn’t want to be selfish. You deserved someone better than him, and he hoped that someone was on the other side of the waters. Somewhere far away from him.

He had told you to get out and that was what you’d done. Maybe one day you would visit Ketterdam again and come see him and you’d both act like nothing had ever happened.

And maybe that was Kaz’s weakness. But it was that hope that kept him afloat.

- - - - - - - - -

six of crows taglist: @xxinvisiblexx @awritingtree

MASTERLIST

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #kaz x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #soc #inej ghafa x reader #kaz brekker

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cherr-22 · 7 months

Text

TNGDH 25

“Cashew. I’m really leaving now. I’ll only be visiting the horse stables, so it won’t take too long.”

Kyle spoke dejectedly with me sitting on his palms.

―Squeak (Hurry and go.)

“Sorry for leaving you so often. Even though I should be taking care of you more before we start infusing mana into you.”

―Squeak squeak. (I’m telling you to go away.)

The first time he said he would be leaving was 10 minutes ago.

I pushed against his face with my front paws and turned my head away from him, but he failed to read the meaning behind my actions. Instead, I was kissed five more times before being let go.

‘It’s finally over.’

I’m completely beat. You damned hamster otaku.

Kyle let me down into my home and then left the study.

As I reorganized my messy fur, I turned towards the door to confirm that Kyle left and used ‘Summon’.

‘System! You know the drill. To that room.’

[o(*￣▽￣*)ブ]

My vision went white and instantly changed. It was the new room I received from Kyle the day before yesterday.

I wore my newly bought clothes and surveyed the room. A large window, a cozy fireplace, a soft bed, and a wooden wardrobe and a desk. There was even a warm rug on the floor.

It was so clean that it was almost unbelievable that the room had never been used before.

“He paid a lot of attention to it.”

I chuckled and closed the closet.

All the clothes I bought before were hung inside. Things like a small lamp, paper, and a pen were on the desk even though I never bought them. Same with the pillow and blanket on the bed. Oh, there are even slippers.

I opened the thick curtains to take a glance outside and laid down on the bed. Staring at the ceiling reminded me of the first rental house I signed.

It was a home I obtained from doing part-time jobs from early morning to late night. It was small and cramped, but I was proud of earning it myself. It was particularly difficult period of time back then since my uncle refused to help me at all.

That was why from the time I was Bae Soohyun until now, this was the first time someone actively supported me like this. I have been always alone since I was little, so it was natural to feel that I had to endure everything alone.

“……Is that why I’m having a strange feeling.”

Providing me money and a place to call home out of kindness, Kyle gave me an unfamiliar feeling. It felt as if it were obvious to request them at the time, but actually holding them in my hands felt strange.

“I will make sure to save you.”

I muttered to myself and turned around. Then I saw a table next to the bed…… huh? Wait.

“This is…….”

I bolted off the bed and clenched the bracelet on the table. It looked just like the <Shocking news! Beneficial mana energy is flowing out!> bracelet from before.

“No wonder he was talking nonsense about how I’m short and how weak I looked!”

I pounded my chest in distress and shoved the bracelet into my pocket.

I should go refund it right away. No matter how rich a person may be, he shouldn’t be ripped off of a scam. This wasn’t cheap either.

“You Grand Duke bastard!”

I opened the door and left the room. You said you were going to the horse stable? Wait just right there. I will come straight to you to make you refund it.

As if it were never warm before, the weather turned chilly. However, the anger within me was stronger than the bitter Northern winds.

I took long strides towards the stables. Kyle was there as expected. In his hands were a handful of sugar cubes to feed to the horses.

First, I took a deep breath and neatly straightened my clothes. Pretend we are meeting in a coincidence. Pretend it’s a coincidence. Act as if I never knew he would be here.

“……Cough, cough. So you are here.”

I cleared my throat and walked closer to Kyle. He turned his head upon hearing me.

“It sure is hard to see you around.”

“Yes, well……. I’m just rather busy.”

“You didn’t stay in your room either. Is it not to your liking?”

“Oh, no no. Of course not. ……but!”

It was supposed to be a short conversation, but it was difficult to hold back after he mentioned the room. I pulled the bracelet out of my pocket and shook it in front of his face.

“What is this! You really bought this from the market? Even though it was obviously a scam!?”

“Scam?”

“Some mana good for your body emitting out or whatever, do you think that’s really true? Even if it were, there’s no way they would sell it like that at a marketplace like that!”

“I didn’t buy that at the market.”

“What?”

Kyle chuckled as he held one of my wrist, took the bracelet from me, and unclasped it.

“I requested a magician yesterday to make one. It doesn’t emit any mana, but wearing it may bring you luck.”

“…….”

Saying that, Kyle put the bracelet on my wrist.

The bracelet, accented with blue gems on a silver chain, was light and beautiful. So beautiful that my wrist didn’t seem worthy of it.

And here I was about to rip it apart thinking it was just a germanium bracelet…….

“But is it alright to give me such a precious item?”

“I felt bad that you got hurt at the banquet when the chandelier fell, yet I couldn’t do anything for you. It may be late, but I hope you’d take this as an expression of apology and gratitude. Please accept it.”

He said with his eyes still on my wrist. A lucky bracelet you say? Are you saying you hope I won’t get caught up in another incident like that?

“Even though you already gave me a room.”

“That’s because you looked after Cashew for me.”

“……Anyways, this looks rather expensive. Since you gifted it to me, I won’t give it back even if you ask for it.”

This kind of situation felt unfamiliar, so I avoided his eyes nervously.

“By the way, why are you at the stables? It’s not like you need to maintain it yourself.”

“Because it seems that you’d need one for yourself.”

Kyle put down the sugar cubes and patted the brown mare. The horse nuzzled its face into his hand and neighed happily.

“Um, I don’t know how to ride one.”

“You can learn.”

“Who would teach me?”

Kyle looked at me as if it were the most obvious answer.

“Me.”

“……Are you not busy?”

“I have about an hour.”

He opened the door of the stall the brown mare was in.

I took a step back in hesitation. I’ve only seen them at the zoo when I was young and it was my first time seeing one up so close.

He saddled the horse and took the reins as if it were familiar to him.

“Come up.”

“Oh my back is still hurting a bit so…….”

“We’ll move slowly so don’t worry.”

After staring at the horse for a while, I gave in. I stepped my left foot into the stirrup and climbed onto the horse. It was a small horse, so it didn’t feel as scary as I thought it would be.

I held on tightly to the handle of the saddle and Kyle started moving forward slowly. The horse followed his lead and headed out of the stable.

‘……This feels weird.’

The ground was hard, but it felt as if it were oscillating like waves in the ocean.

“Why do you treat me so well? Is there a particular reason? Something like I resemble someone or something.”

I mumbled absentmindedly while looking up at the clear, blue sky. Kyle didn’t respond so I continued.

“On the surface, His Highness the Grand Duke may be wealthy and be called the king of the North, but I cannot take everything you give me for granted. I know that nothing in this world is free and that there would always be some sort of purpose behind your favors.

I am old enough to know better that there was no kindness without compensation.

There was something to obtain, which was why you were taking care of the other. Part of the strange feeling I felt in the room before could’ve been due to this fact. Just what exactly do you want from me?

Kyle seemed to ponder for a moment before opening his mouth.

“I suppose you wouldn’t believe me if I said I had no motives behind my actions.”

“…….”

“You looked lonely, that’s all.”

I opened my mouth, only to close it without saying anything.

‘……looked lonely.’

I frowned unconsciously and clasped the handle harder.

“I wasn’t even fifteen years old when I wandered around the North alone, not having anyone to trust. Trust could become a weakness and favors could turn into traps. For that reason, I tried to do everything on my own. But the winters of the North were harsh, and it was difficult to even stay alive. In the end, I realized I needed help from someone else.”

He sounded calm as he recollected his past. He pulled on the reigns to stop the horse and raised his head towards me.

“No human can live alone, no matter how tough and strong they may be. In fact, even dragon hatchlings are heavily guarded by their pack when they are young. And when they grow to a full-fledged adult, they often blend into the human society to overcome their loneliness. Which is why I embrace those who need help, and receive help myself when I need them. I am only doing the same to you.”

It was a very idealistic statement. Even though the world could never always go so smoothly, he spoke with confidence in his voice.

What if the person who received your help betrayed you? What if you die because of that betrayal? Would you still think the same way then?

My mouth felt bitter, especially knowing to whose hands Kyle died in the original story.

I spoke out after pressing down the heavy feeling in my chest.

“Then, please don’t die.”

I spoke a bit too bluntly, making Kyle laugh as he lowered me down from the horse.

“Alright. I promise you.”

[A new imprint was made on Kyle Jane Meinhardt’s life.]

[Hidden quest, ‘Collective Destiny’ achieved!]

[Miracle Value has increased.]

[Current Miracle Value 26.0%]

I looked past the blue system window to Kyle.

I hope you continue to live. Regardless of whether or not our fates are tied together, you are someone who deserves it.

--------------------------------------------------------

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

#tngdh

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ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa · 3 months

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Scamming Shuichi's Shitty Parents

Beez: shuichis parents can exist. for 2 seconds. bc i wanna see a scenario where they try to reconnect w shuichi for wtv reason. only for shuichi to hit em w a "do i know you"

Ves: now is he being genuine or is he fucking with them

Beez: idk what would be funnier. if he was expecting them to show up and did Not want to deal w them or have it be a sur- YEAH MY QUESTION TOO

Mauri: ok but consider kokichi answering the door kicks them in the shins and locks the door or just tearing them apart verbally

Ves: i do think it's INCREDIBLY funny for him to just be fucking with them because. we know who gave him those acting skills. him GENUINELY not knowing their faces anymore is more angsty to me kokichi is BANISHING them from his kingdom they are NOT welcome

Mauri: “oh ur my parents? what was my favorite color as a child”

Beez: shuichi, head in hands: i really dont want to face them after what they did to me, i basically dont know them kokichi: then do that shuichi: huh kokichi: pretend not to know them, thatll be fun shuichi: …..[evil red smiley emoji]

Hina: Shuichi and Tsumugi being siblings Just makes me think about this prompt more Shuichi chooses to leave for uncle Tsumugi has the option to. But their parents give her a good way to get into her dream career with the entertainment industry

Beez: i just want shuichi declaring that his uncle n aunt r his parents actually n them just having that slap in the face moment okayyyy

Ves: gesturing flatly to the 'saihara' on his door/nametag/whatever

Hina: I headcanon that their last name is Shirogane And his uncles is Saihara He left the last name

Ves: slots v well into my trans hc. he doesn't have either of the names they remember that's just a whole different guy

Consider - them not remembering his face and just assuming Kokichi is Shuichi because of that. They weren't there for the transition, okay? They have no idea what to expect. The last time they saw him he was shorter

Ves: mrs shirogane writing down T = purple ??? in her notebook

Apollo: Kokichi has a fucking field day when he realises they think he's their kid He like demands random shit from them to 'make up for never reaching out' He claims his lying is because of them 'abandoning' him after he moved

Mauri: "why are your eyes a completely different color" "i got pink eye in middle school :)"

He takes off his heterochromia coverimg contact and says "oh, those are just part of the aesthetic"

they ARE dating & living together. This IS the right adress. They DO meet the boyfriend & don't recognize him bc they think he's cis

people assuming the wrong person out of the two is trans because of stereotypes, like the height is already amusing to me & there's this kind of smugness to fooling the "we can tell" people, but the most comedic part is them talking to Shuichi as the boyfriend of their child, you bet they say some out of pocket shit to him when Kokichi is out of the room as a haha funny, unaware of how transphobic (and probably misogynistic) the joke was as he has to hold himself back not to blow their cover

#danganronpa #ndrv3 #shuichi saihara #kokichi ouma #oumasai #saiouma #kokichi oma #made by me #writing prompt

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mariana-oconnor · 6 months

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The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax pt 1

Well, that title is a little different from the usual ones.

“The bath!” he said; “the bath! Why the relaxing and expensive Turkish rather than the invigorating home-made article?”

So Watson has been to the Turkish baths? As part of a 'alternative' lifestyle. Right. Got it. Okay then.

Nice to have an introduction of Holmes teasing Watson with deductions about him.

“One of the most dangerous classes in the world,” said he, “is the drifting and friendless woman. She is the most harmless and often the most useful of mortals, but she is the inevitable inciter of crime in others."

I'd like to congratulate Holmes here on giving such an incredible example of victim blaming. Just, beautifully done. Pure, unsullied victim blaming. And in such a way that it blames all single female victims. Bravo.

"There is one correspondent who is a sure draw, Watson. That is the bank. Single ladies must live, and their passbooks are compressed diaries."

I assume that this is specifically vs married ladies who would not have to handle their own money, but the way it's phrased does make me chuckle. Because no one else must live except Single ladies, and no one else uses banks.

"Besides, on general principles it is best that I should not leave the country. Scotland Yard feels lonely without me, and it causes an unhealthy excitement among the criminal classes."

Lestrade when Sherlock goes away.

So Holmes is just sending Watson on holiday? Is this just because Watson's feeling rheumatic and old? Is there even a case? Historically, though, Watson has never done all too well on his own - at least according to Holmes. He usually misses every piece of information Holmes would like him to get.

Marie Devine, the maid, was as popular as her mistress. She was actually engaged to one of the head waiters in the hotel...

That explains the money given to her, then.

He connected the sudden departure with the visit to the hotel a day or two before of a tall, dark, bearded man. “Un sauvage—un véritable sauvage!” cried Jules Vibart.

Do we have anyone else's word about this other than the maid and her waiter's?

Only one thing Jules would not discuss. That was the reason why Marie had left her mistress.

So it... wasn't to marry him? That seems like a reason to me, but I don't really know, I suppose. I would have assumed she just left because she wanted to get married to someone who loved in Lausanne. It would definitely be easier if she didn't have to leave Lausanne whenever Lady Frances wanted.

While there she had made the acquaintance of a Dr. Shlessinger and his wife, a missionary from South America. Like most lonely ladies, Lady Frances found her comfort and occupation in religion. Dr. Shlessinger's remarkable personality, his whole hearted devotion, and the fact that he was recovering from a disease contracted in the exercise of his apostolic duties affected her deeply. She had helped Mrs. Shlessinger in the nursing of the convalescent saint.

These people seem suspicious. But I can't say why. Maybe just because they seem too religious to be true. A disease contracted in the exercise of his duties? It just kind of feels like a scam to me. Maybe I'm wrong.

“None; but he was an Englishman, though of an unusual type.” “A savage?” said I, linking my facts after the fashion of my illustrious friend.

I mean... objection: leading the witness springs to mind. Don't give a person a description, ask them for a description, Watson.

Already the mystery began to define itself, as figures grow clearer with the lifting of a fog.

I'm pretty sure you're just creating a whole new smoke cloud to add to the fog so you can see even less, but sure.

I'm not 100% convinced this savage wasn't Holmes himself in disguise, but I am a very suspicious person.

In reply I had a telegram asking for a description of Dr. Shlessinger's left ear. Holmes's ideas of humour are strange and occasionally offensive, so I took no notice of his ill-timed jest...

I don't think that was a joke, Watson. I think he actually wanted to know about the guy's ear.

“You are an Englishman,” I said. “What if I am?” he asked with a most villainous scowl. “May I ask what your name is?” “No, you may not,” said he with decision. The situation was awkward, but the most direct way is often the best.

You've already been fairly direct, Watson. Running up to a random person and declaring their nationality without even stopping to say bonjour is kind of rude.

And now you're getting attacked.

“Well, Watson,” said he, “a very pretty hash you have made of it! I rather think you had better come back with me to London by the night express.”

I mean, I hate to say I told you so, Watson but I really did tell you so. Holmes, why do you let Watson go unsupervised when he never manages to do what you want? I know Lestrade would pine without you, but I'm sure he could cope for a few weeks. Probably.

Current theory is that Holmes only sent Watson so he could get some fresh Alpine air. As to what happened to Lady Frances, I have no idea. But I think maybe the 'savage' is on her side, not against her.

#Letters from Watson #The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax #Sherlock Holmes #long post

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sea-owl · 1 day

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You know I was reading up on inheritance laws for different parts of the world back in older times and this thought kinda got into my head.

So we know the whole "boy moms" things and sons being heavily favored even in more progressive countries to this day. A part of me wonders if that is some sort of leftover survival instinct. (Bad word for it but it's the closest I can think of at this moment) It wasn't that long ago that a women couldn't really do anything or even have a bank account without her husband okaying. And even farther back, when it was extremely difficult for a woman to inheirt anything, if she could at all, they had pray for the mercy of their sons to take care of them after death of their husbands.

Jane Austen wrote about this issue in several of her works. In Sense and Sensibility Henry Dashwood made his son John Dashwood promise to take care of his sisters and stepmother after his death. John does promise this but then easily let's his wife Mrs. Dashwood talk him out of it and basically give his sisters the very bare minimum. The Dashwood sisters actually had to rely on a distant relative because their brother broke his promise. Now Mrs. Dashwood frames it to her husband like hey why would you take this money away from your son. A part of me wonders though if she was also trying to secure herself too for if she outlives her husband.

This issue also comes up again in Pride and Prejudice with Mrs. Bennett worrying for her daughters because Mr. Bennett has greatly shown he does not really care about the future after he's gone, hell he hasnt even bithered to look to who his estate will go to when he passes. He has of age daughters that he should he taking to London or higher populated areas to give them better odds of marrying and marrying well. But he doesn't like the city so they stay in the country and thankfully they got lucky that Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy ended up rolling into town. I also don't remember exactly how this went but Mr. Bennett also was not really setting anything aside for his daughters dowieries and instead was relying on Mrs. Bennett's dowery for that. Mrs. Bennett's dowery wasn't much either when divided among all the girls especially considering she married up when she married Mr. Bennett. Compared to Mr. Darcy who is properly taking care of his female relatives and even Lizzie's. Mr. Darcy did more for the search for Lydia then Mr. Bennett, Lydia's father!

Another example is in Bridgerton. Lord and Lady Featherington are in my opinion Mr and Mrs. Bennett coded except now we are seeing what happens when Mr. Bennett/Lord Featherington dies and have done nothing to help his daughters. The whole Featherington family was stressed about the new lord because they had no idea of what he would do to them. He very easily could have kicked them out onto the street and left them with nothing. Then he turns out to be a scam artist who only cares for himself. I don't blame Portia for getting those fake documents, but back to the son thing even in those documents it is spefically stated that the firstborn grandson would become the new lord. Still putting the Featherington sisters and Portia herself at the mercy of a male relative. Because while women could inheirt, although a difficult process and often if she was married it would fall into her husband's hands until 1870, estates that were tied to a title had to be inherited by a male relative.

So that's kinda why I'm wondering if this is why the whole boy preference still exists because women's survival not too long ago very much relyed on the mercy of their male relatives.

#ignore me im rambling #jane austen #sense and sensibility #pride and prejudice #bridgerton

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bengiyo · 5 months

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Middleman's Love Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Last week, we left the serious tone of Bed Friend behind for the too cartoonish energy of Middleman's Love. Yim's comedy will prove divisive, and it seems that book readers are not happy about these developments at all. Jade, Uea, and King all have interns at the office, which seems so much more normal and quieter now that we're not in Uea's headspace. Everyone is beautiful, and Uea and King are thriving. Jade is convinced that his intern is in a budding relationship with Uea's intern, and Jade has decided it is his fudanshi duty to hook them up. However, Mai is clearly interested in Jade.

Oh right. We left at this confrontation.

Oh my. Mai is making up stories in his head that are so dramatic. At least we're developing his personality. I hope there is more here than Beautiful and Attracted to Jade.

Yes, Jett, make them have a sleepover. We don't have a lot of episodes.

I'm okay with the BL boys missing their nephews lately. First Sailom, and now Jade. I miss my godson!! I showed him the classic Muppet Movie and he made fun of it!

I understand that people really don't like the bobble heads.

What the hell is going on with this notebook?

Mai is clearly staying in a hotel room. Are we treating this like a normal apartment? Also, are we supposed to take the chess board as indicative of his personality or the way he's been acting up to this point?

Okay, I am so mad that the episode cuts are on Gaga. This is so tacky. I hate this more than I can properly articulate.

Why is Mandee relying on biometrics to secure their office? Is it that serious??? This is an obvious COVID vector.

I hope we unpack Mai's shyness later.

It's time for JUICE!!!

Oh lord, Jade is making up stories in his head too.

Jade is NOSY.

The boss just said to go home. What deadline are we up against that we're still here?

Interesting. Jade and Uea have a fear of the dark.

Of course we got a pratfall kiss out of it.

Pursuing someone who you know doesn't like you because it's a challenge is Not a Slay.

Look at Jade being too involved in other people's problems only to deflect about his own.

Gus really took that shot in front of everyone.

It's like they knew we were getting bored and brought out Uea and King.

I'm glad Mai's crush on Jade is transparent to everyone else.

Uea wants to ask about Mai's shoes? That's a classic Bourbon street scam. Don't fall for it, Mai! Get the fuck out of there!!

I wish Mai's reasons for liking Jade were more revelatory about his own personality.

Is Tutor really as tall as James?? I got a bit distracted by how beautiful both of them are.

Why is the Cutie Pie theme playing like it's coming from another room?? Oh my god.

Looks like King wins. Was this part of his and Uea's plan?

Oh....Cheewin, my dude. I have loved you for a long time, but can we not have a swoon moment when someone is about to fucking vomit?

Okay, this is a good low-stakes watch for me, but I do admit to being a bit disappointed that Mai seems kinda empty so far. I had hoped Tutor would get to do more than just be beautiful after his first pairing with Yim in Cutie Pie, but I'll just take this as a candy watch.

#middleman's love #the middleman's love #thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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heaven-s-black-box · 5 months

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Let's get married- Han x Leia ft. Luke

Return to File

Recovery date: July 12th, 2022

Description: N/a

Notes: An entry from my 2022 research project into the universe of Star Wars. You can find the next entry here.

Word count: 745

Back to directory

“When you and Han get married, can I be your best man?”

Leia looked up from her holoscreen to stare at her brother in confusion.

They were sitting in Leia and Han’s apartment on Chandrila, Leia working on new republic policies and Luke tinkering with some old droid parts. It was a weekend ritual for the two, to take a few hours and just sit together, sometimes discussing their pasts. One that Leia was going to miss once Luke left.

“Luke, we just ended a war, now is not the time for a wedding.” She turned back to her screen. “Besides, we’re already basically married.”

This time Luke stopped what he was doing to look up at his sister, he watched her frown through the holoscreen and glance up at him through it.

“I mean, I know that, but no one else knows that.” He scooted closer to the table and rested his arms against it, setting down the parts he was tinkering with. “Think of it less for you two and more- for the people. You know, show them that we can have big celebrations now and- and-”

“What’s this really about,” she asked, turning off the screen and leaning forward on her forearms.

She watched him closely.

“I just it’d be better for your reputation incase, you know, you get pre-”

“Liar.”

He wasn’t fidgety, but it was obvious he was lying. Leia didn’t need the force to be able to see that much. Her brows furrowed as she tried to figure out why.

“There may or may not be a bet.”

“You’re betting on my relationship with Han?!”

“No-no, see betting implies there’s a chance I’ll lose. This is more like-”

“Like scamming people. What kind of Jedi scams people?”

“When you put it that way it sounds terrible, I wasn’t actually going to take their credits. Now, Chewwies credits…”

“Oh, so Chewwies apart of this too?”

“No! Him and I have our own bet- Hey! Hey!” Leia reached over the table to grab his ear and began to twist. “We’re just betting on who’s gonna propose!”

“And you bet on?”

“You! I bet that Han would be too nervous and you would propose!”

She let him go and he pouted, rubbing his ear.

“So this whole conversation was-”

“To get you to ask Han to marry you, yes.”

Leia sighed, and Luke picked up his droid parts again.

“What’s the other bet about?”

“How long until you dump Han. Like I said- not really a bet.”

She nodded, turning the holoscreen back on and returning to her work.

They went back to silently enjoying eachothers company as the sun began to set, Luke had moved on from his droid parts to maintaining his hand.

“I’m back- Luke, you're still here. Perfect, can I talk to you before you leave?”

“Sure-”

“We should get married.”

Leia didn’t even look up from her screen as she cut her brother off and both boys turned to her. Luke knocked something in his hand, pinching him and causing him to yelp in pain.

“Officially, I mean. I heard Naboo is nice this time of year, I’m sure we could find somewhere to have a small wedding,” she shrugged, looking up at Han.

Trying to play off his surprise, Han leaned against the wall.

“You sure you want a small wedding princess?”

“A small wedding would take less time to plan and hold, besides we don’t exactly have much family. It would only be, what? Five people in attendance, counting R2 and C3PO of course.”

“I thought you said you didn’t care about an official wedding?”

“I don’t, but Luke made a valuable point that it would keep rumors from spreading.”

“Did you now?” Han looked at him.

“So, is that a yes?”

“I dunno, might have to think on it a bit-”

“Han.”

She looked up at her screen at him.

“If you want to take next weekend off I can fly us out and back before Luke leaves for… where are you going again?”

“Ossus.”

“Right, doesn’t matter. Point is, we can have the wedding and be back before you have to leave, everyone’s happy.” He clapped his hand together.

An annoyed roar from Chewwy sounded from the other side of the door and Han winced, waiting for the scolding from Leia.

“And for the record, you didn’t need to ask Luke’s permission to marry me, I can make that decision on my own.”

#researcher s's recovery #s's 2022 recovery project #star wars #leia x han #leia organa #luke skywalker #han solo #chewbacca #fluff #crack #oneshot #sw oneshot

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random-fandom-inserts · 1 year

Note

May I pls have prompt #68 with the Pied Piper 🥺, I used to have such a huge crush on him, and I can't help the unhappy ending scenario this would give.

Sure!💖 Sorry if it's short and the angst is a lot😅

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where Did I Go Wrong?

This story shows the Pied Piper's bitter beginning as a bounty hunter.

#68 “You’ve always been more than a friend to me, I just didn’t had the courage to admit it, and now I’ve lost you.”

His curse was his talent. What a cruel world we live in.

He couldn't utter a word, has never had any real talents. Yet, when the Piper picks up that flute, he's played it like he's known how for years. It was natural to him now, like this talent has been with him all along.

But it was just part of the curse. His lack of voice makes up with the sound of music.

You were a childhood friend of his, who knew the Piper long before he became the Piper. You knew the sound of his voice before it was taken away from him. It was something he valued; the friendship you guys had. In fact, he valued it to the point where he loved you more than a friend. You were all that the Piper had.

However, you were only human. When his voice disappeared, you started too as well.

He didn't know what he would do if you vanished from his life. You were the only good thing he's ever had. Now this curse has ruined his life in more ways than one. Not only couldn't the Pied Piper speak, but he was losing someone he loved. He couldn't take a job like a normal person, and every job he's gotten has led to him getting scammed.

One day, he snapped. And after that, a whole new path seemed to favor his "gift" a lot better.

Bounty Hunting.

He didn't have to care about anyone but himself in this line of work. His magical flute can force anyone anywhere, making this job easy. A wanted person for a handful of coin? Seems like a fair gig for him, especially since he had nothing to return to.

But wait? What about you?

"You're leaving? For how long?" You stumbled upon him just as he planned to leave the village you both grew up in. Everything about him seemed darker, even the clothes. But there was only one way he could answer you.

So, you handed him your notebook.

The scribbles seemed to be that of irritation, anger, especially by the way he handed it back to you with a frown. The Piper continued his walk out of town as your eyes scanned the words, widening them in shock.

"Forever!? Why?" You prompted, which seemed to irk him slightly. He could, but he didn't want to take the time to explain his line of work to you. Not anymore. But there was another reason, one he wasn't planning on mentioning.

You chased after him, grabbing his arm to make you face him.

"Why?!" You demanded again, pure distress in your voice. He planned on just leaving, never having to worry about seeing you again. However, the Piper still doesn't know why, but all his dam broke and the water flooded.

He grabbed the notebook and began to write furiously.

It might've took more than a minute, maybe five, you couldn't tell. However, the look on his face plus the shakiness of his hand told you it probably wasn't good. And you'd be right. Pied Piper was writing down years of feelings. How you were his friend, how he grew to love you, and how you left his side once his curse set in. How much love he still felt despite the betrayal.

Throwing the notebook at your feet, he watched you scramble for it.

Your eyes scanned the page, and a look of heartbreak came to your eyes. You dared not look back at him, feeling his eyes burning holes in you as you realized how much pain you caused him. After a minute, you finally worked up the courage to say something.

“You’ve always been more than a friend to me, I just didn’t had the courage to admit it, and now I’ve lost you.” You told him, but his eyes didn't soften.

"It's just...I didn't know what to do...I..." You fumbled with words, but it was too late. His hard stare finally left your pitiful frame when he turned to leave, feeling things he's never felt so strongly before.

Anger.

Pain.

And just a bit of guilt.

But it will all fade away in time, just like his dark clothed body faded from your view. Your tears were there, people giving you weird stares as you sobbed in the street. You wished you hadn't have hurt him so, but there was no changing anything.

You kept that page that held all his feelings that he couldn't express to you through words, hoping one day he will come back and you could make things right.

You would wait a lifetime to hear that flute of his play once more.

#shrek #shrek 4 #shrek forever after #shrek pied piper #pied piper #pied piper x reader

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nescamonster · 5 months

Text

Not terrible moment

So I am in love with @asterbae 's amazing Fic "Perfect Slaughter" on Ao3. Unfortunately I was not blessed with the artistic streak, all I can do is offer up is a non cannon, fanfiction of Their fanfiction to give the Boys a tiny sliver of a not terrible moment in their eternal lives cause boy does Tyrus and Astarion got it rough and i love it but also wanna let them take a breath.

Any who hope I didn't butcher the characters too badly, Don't judge on my work, check out Perfect slaughter for yourselves! (Though beware dead dove, definitely take in the tags before you read)

It had taken 87 years, but finally, the stars aligned.

Tyrus couldn't let the chance pass them by, as he didnt know when another perfect night would arrive. Cazador so rarely let Tyrus bring in prey, and rarer still on the same night as Astarion.

"Come, darling, I'll help you find a mark." Astarion called to Tryus as the spawns started dispersing after receiving orders.

"Surely he doesn't need his hand held anymore astarion." Violet teased, her sharp eyes going between them wonderingly.

"It's about not being punished. Do you think the master will stop at tyrus' incompetence or would he then look to the one who trained him?" Astarion gave a sarcastic tap against his temple, "i know you rarely use it darling, but if you don't stretch those mental muscles they will degrade you know."

Violet hissed, showing her fangs but she left without another word. No doubt fearing standing there arguing was eating into her hunting time.

Astarion flashed a victorious smile then looked more softly at Tyrus who happily fell into step beside the older vampire spawn. This was what he wanted after all.

"Lets try the elfsong for you I think." Astarion mused aloud only to raise a brow when Tryus shook his head, "oh? You've something else in mind?"

Tyrus had felt ill when he made this plan, but he knew now after so many years that there was no enjoyment without pain. His, astarions, someones. There had to be suffering to equal the scales.

"Homeless twins. Near the wyrms rock last I saw them." Tyrus wanted this part over as quickly as possible, "they run a scam where they pretend to be the same human, but their blood scent betrays them."

Astarions eyes lit up with interest and his step increased, "I guess we could spare an hour to look…"

Tyrus kept the pace, his eyes down and Astarion noticed, slowing slightly and clearing his throat to have the younger drow look up at him.

"Any particular reason why you've waited until now to speak of such prey?" A warning tone entered his honeyed voice, "you weren't attempting to spare-"

Tyrus couldn't help the burst of bitter laughter that spilt from his lips at the thought.

"This is the most selfish thing I have ever done." He admitted, "I saved them for when we could hunt together. I knew you would do better at securing them quickly."

"Well a night in our bunks is preferable too-"

"No." Tyrus was firm with his denial. He didn't do this, offering up innocent siblings so they could lay in the dark and wait for the next atrocity. Astarions step faltered but he caught himself and they kept moving at a quick pace through the city.

As Astarion stayed quiet, Tyrus knew he was waiting for an explanation.

"I-I wanted at least an hour… to-to show you something." Why were the words so hard to say? Why did astarions guarded look cut him to the core?

Tyrus was not well fed enough to blush, but he kept his eyes on the road they walked and pushed through, "i would like if we could secure our offering then- take a, a moment, before…"

No doubt astarion was burning with curiosity but tyrus was thankful he asked no more. Instead he had the drow direct them to these homeless vagabonds.

The twins were comely, by no means beautiful but their identical faces made for an interesting gimmick that was sure to please Cazador. Astarion took the lead, for which Tyrus was grateful.

He didn't need to do more than smile and wrap his arms around one woman's waist before her sister was drugged and asleep. She squirmed as she saw this, but Tyrus knew better than to let her go. He just held her still as Astarion force fed her the drugged wine and helped his fellow spawn stow them both in a secure location they could return to in an hour.

Astarion brushed off his doublet and smiled at Tyrus when the drow used his cantrip to clean the dirt desperate fingers had left on him. They were taking a risk not immediatly returning but Astarion said nothing of that, instead cocking his head at Tyrus.

"So, where too now?" He asked.

Tyrus lead the way, checking homes as they found one that didn't prevent them entry. An abandoned home filled with dirt and vermin that Astarion eyed with distaste and thirst warring in his face.

"You cannot be thinking of sneaking a drink." Astarion in an unbelieving tone, "you cannot be that dense even after all these years."

Tyrus was cleaning up a small amount of space, using the weave to clear the dirt and scare away the rats, "no,no. I would never." He shuddered, remembering with vivid detail the consequences of taking blood from anywhere but cazadors' hands.

Instead he sat down in the cleared space and pet the floor next to him. Astarion was cautious but less so than any of their siblings. He lowered himself with grace and looked about warily.

"A nice little hovel. I can see why you just had to show me."

Tyrus gave a shaky breath and smiled at the Spawn who had made the years just slightly less terrible then they could have been. He pulled from his pocket some fleece and reached into the weave as he spoke.

"Close your eyes for a moment, they might take a bit of time to adjust…" then he spoke the incantation, pulling the impossible through to the possible.

Astarion hadnt closed his eyes so it was with a fearful shout that he slammed his shoulders back against the wall as the major image illusion unfolded around them.

Grass sprung up, earsing the floorboards, as the world expanded, grey skies and dark trees filling a twenty foot space. Tyrus held onto his concentration even as Asatrion swore, gazing up a stormy sky just before the rain broke, sunlight diluted by the clouds but clearly day in a forest clearing.

They could smell the ozone, the scent of wet foliage strong in the air. A light breeze tingled their skin but no illusion could ruffle their clothes which stayed static in this moment. They could hear the soft rumble of the thunder and the rustle of the leaves. Tyrus turned to look fully at his companion once the spell was fully cast and was horrified to see tears starting to spill.

Astarion lifted a shaky hand to clasp over his mouth as his eyes were blown wide, taking in the sight. He had only shed two tears but as starved as they were kept, he may as well have been sobbing.

"Oh, I'm sorry! This-this was meant to be- i-i'll cancel it, hold on." Tyrus prepared to drop it, but astarions hand shot out, grasping his forearm.

"Don't you dare!" He hissed, "don't you give me this just to take it away!"

Tyrus stopped, then carefully and slowly placed his hands over astarions, nodding his agreement, "I won't. We can stay here for as long as… well twenty minutes or so anyway."

Astarion paid no heed to the time limit, instead taking in the view, seemingly trying to imprint it into his mind. He didn't move his grip, so Tyrus settled for petting Astarions hand gently and looking around himself.

"I don't remember… where this is." Tyrus felt he owed Astarion an explanation but it was difficult. So much was gone, so many important things.

"I think I had a family? And, and we were… i've no idea why i was here, or when… but i remember the storm" they both looked at it now, rolling lazily towards them, "i remember thinking it was beautiful."

"It is…" Astarion suddenly gave a choked laugh, "we can never speak of this."

"I know." Of course Tyrus knew that. Cazador was strict with how much access his spawn had to the weave. He'd be furious they had experienced even a second of sunlight, illusioned and storm dimmed as it was.

Tyrus looked down as Astarion moved his hand from forearm to clasp with Tyrus' fingers. The High elf looked him in the eye as he gentle brought the drows hand to his lips, a chaste kiss planted on his knuckles, featherlight but filled with emotion.

"Thank you… Tyrus…" Astarion sounded breathless, his voice hushed as another roll of thunder broke, "I will never forget this… thank you."

The image faded around them, a silence falling as reality reasserted itself. Astarion still had his hand and Tyrus realized that neither of them were breathing.

Astarion closed his eyes then took a shuddering breath before opening them, his face a mask of mischievous once more. He kindly returned tyrus' hand to its owner and stood in one graceful movment.

"We should be off"

"I-i have one more-" Tyrus stuttered, trying to offer another casting. He didn't want the moment to be over, did not want to return to their lives so soon.

Astarions smile was sad but kind as he offered a hand to the drow, "best not live in dreams darling, magnificent as they are."

Tyrus squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the burn of tears unshed for a long moment before he too let go of the dream. They had a single moment where they were not spawn, but free under an untamed sky. A moment that was as illusionary as the spell itself.

He took Astarions hand, standing and nodding. It was time to return to what was real for no amount of trickery would stop cazador from finding them if they didn't return themselves.

Their hands fell apart, palms still carrying the warmth of the other. Then the two left the hovel and went to collect their offering to their cruel master.

Above the city, a storm crackled, beginning to roll across the night sky…

#bg3 #fanfiction #fanfiction of a fanfiction #fanception #Perfect Slaughter #Let them hug damn it #but hugs are too much stimulation #let them hold hands damn it #love love love Tyrus #Love love love Astarion

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sunsrefuge · 1 year

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Music ask game!! :D How about 2, 6 and the fancam song for Liifa?

AND THE FANCAM... <- i find this so so funny because he is SO demisexual. it would so not be his thing !! but by god he's pretty so you're damn right it'd happen to him !!

(hey! funny story! I got so excited about this ask that i'd filled out most of it by the time i remembered you sent. specific numbers. so uh,, woe !! bonus content be upon ye !! also im so sorry that this turned into a LITERAL ESSAY !! do not worry about reading all of it if you don't want to / feel up to it !!)

As per usual, all spotify links! ♥

[Readmore because - well. I said it was an essay for a reason. :'D Sorry !! feel free to only read the ones you requested if you'd like !!]

Backstory: Top of the World by Greek Fire

I remember the days, New beginnings on an open page. With something to prove, And nothing to lose, Not a soul to betray.

Ohh how we look back on the past with rose-colored glasses :') This song both describes his backstory in a fun way, and describes his perspective on his own past! He's born underground like the vast majority of asura during his time, and ends up having to surface after Primordus wakes up. He ends up in the Crystal Desert with his older half-sister Rylii, and they're taken in by the Sunspears once they're deemed not a threat and such. They have a good couple of years until;

I remember the lies, Caught up in building paradise. The angels were slaves, and demons behaved, And everything was alright.

boy got TRICKED into tying himself to the Binding - (in my hc, a book of Abaddon's that contains his worst-behaved demons! like, he dropped all these kids off at preschool and just never came back for them lol) - under the idea that he could somehow purify the book itself, therefore turning an artifact of Abaddon's into a powerful one of Kormir's. Needless to say, maybe not ever gonna happen!! (... maybe.)

I hear the crowds beneath me, I'm wishing they could reach me. But I'm on top of the world, Up here I'm dying alone.

it leads PERFECTLY into the majority of his backstory!! Lonely, aimless wandering!! It also highlights the little facade he picks up over the years:

Inside the walls of gold, Outside of happiness, (It's all been a show, Too late to confess!) No room for heart and soul, No room for innocence, Innocence!

He gets so lonely that he starts to get really jaded and closed-off from anyone and everyone that he meets. There's a sense of when you live so long, what use is it to connect? <- Words spoken seconds (decades) before disaster. (meeting Eliana)

Personality: Liar by The Arcadian Wild

I sense there's trouble ahead, It's clear by the signs and warnings, That should tell where all blame is due. So why are they pointing at my head?

There's a long stretch of time where he's very flippant about what he's doing and who it's affecting. Typically, if a situation turns against him, he'd just... remove himself from the area and wait it out.

Oh, I need you to see through my act, To tell me I'm wrong, To take off the mask. Or else I'll be left in the lie, And I'll deceive my way straight to demise.

That said, he knows that he's just lying his ass off most of the time - playing a part, setting the pieces, whatever he needs to do that'll get him in the door for whatever he's attempting now. He gets bored, living so long and being on his own so much, he's not above playing little scams and such to give himself some kind of stimulation as the years drag on for him.

I am the host of this hostility, I'm the master magician that makes you believe. I'm real, I'm not fake, but in reality, I'm a lying man. My life's become this grand game of deception, My mind's ignored all my heart's good intentions. We all feel this tension, We all have our own illusions.

And even as he realizes that what he's done is wrong, he still keeps that degree of separation - that denial that he's wrong - how could he be, when others have done worse? He's determined to be good, so much so that he's justified his own boredom-induced heists by simply internalizing that someone's always done something way worse. Which... isn't how it works! But he'll get there, eventually.

'Cause I'm not in a right state of mind, I just wish I had strength to admit it. My stubbornness will put up a fight, But I don't deserve to win it. I'm left in the dark pondering my mistakes, But in the light, I swear I will, Deny it all.

The chorus in here hits though, because it offers that self-awareness of "yes, this is wrong, and I know it's wrong! But even if you force me to face it, and I know that you're right, I'm going to deny it. It can't be true, that isn't who I am at heart." It's okay, Eliana can fix him later kahsdsuh

Angst: Suffocate by Nathan Wagner

The problem ain't "they're never good," The problem is power, It taints the mind.

hi !! Liifa thoughts hour !! After picking up the Binding, and being stuck with it for the last two centuries, this thought process for him is constant !! ♥ As time goes on, he starts to recognize the ways that the Binding (and primarily Ipos within it) has been influencing his thoughts and perceptions, and he Does Not Like It !! He's so so determined to be good despite all of his bad decisions and numerous setbacks and it's such a reoccurring theme throughout his entire playlist !! his determination to be good is integral to his character !!

Hold on to me, Don't give up on me. If I start to sink, Would you reach for me? I get so afraid, break down, Suffocate. Would you help me breathe? Help me breathe.

This hits harder later on in the timeline; when he has Eliana to travel with! If there's one thing that would immediately entice him over the 'edge' and into corruption, it would be someone he loves being in possibly-fatal danger. Dude is liable to literally lose his entire mind and moral compass in those scenarios!

Don't wanna hurt the ones I love, Don't wanna let everyone down. I try so hard but I slip up, Lose my grip, fall on the ground. The problem ain't "they're never good," The problem's power taints the mind. Don't let this heart turn into stone, Don't let these lights burn me alive.

this part makes me FERAL because !! During the GW2 timeline is when he starts to recognize just how jaded and cold he's become over the decades, and he hates it once he sees it. I also like to believe that - since he's been tied to the Binding - anything of Kormir's (such as the fire in the Sunspear Sanctuary) has the potential it 'burn' him if he gets too close! And I don't mean "you're obviously too close to the campfire" kind of close. More like he's fifteen feet away and still feels like he's standing directly in the fire.

Don't let me suffocate in luxury.

I just think that it's so so fun how... traditionally, demons tempt you by giving you unimaginable power, wealth, anything that you could ever want. And Liifa doesn't want any of that, he just desperately wants a calm life spent with the people he loves.

Comfort: I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young

I thought I saw the devil, this morning. Looking in the mirror, Drop of rum on my tongue, With the warning to help me see myself clearer.

This has !! entirely to do !! with him realizing how jaded and cold he's become, and actively making the decision to move away from that !! He wants to be softer. He wants to have friends. He deeply misses having people that he can rely on and feel safe with; he's so tired of feeling like it's himself against the world.

My past has tasted bitter, For years now, So I wield an iron fist. "Grace is just weakness," Or so I've been told. I've been cold, I've been merciless. But the blood on my hands, Scares me to death. Maybe I'm waking up, today.

I've always debated if there's a specific moment that makes him realize what he's turned into - and now I'm actually thinking !! The Genetics Facility Massacre could be it !! It's perfectly in between two of the times that he meets Eliana before they become properly acquainted, so there's already the thought floating around in his head of this sweet little sylvari he's met, and how kind she seems in a world so cruel - and it hits him. He's part of that cruelty. He's done assassinations, he's killed indiscriminately, he commits crimes so regularly that he doesn't even think about it anymore.

For all of the light that I shut out, For all of the innocent things that I doubt, For all of the bruises I've caused, and the tears, For all of the things that I've done, All these years. For all of the sparks that I stomped out, For all of the perfect things that I doubt,

I'll be good, I'll be good. And I'll love the world, like I should. Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good, For all of the times, I never could.

and the REPITITION of "I'll be good, I'll be good," just continues to hammer home his determination !! to be good !! Despite his habits, despite his past, despite the things that he's done and said - he wants to be good. If not for himself, then for his half-sister. For the memory of his mothers, and his twin. For the kind people that he's met during his troubles. For everything that he so passionately stood for when he was younger; For the Sunspears.

I'll Be Good has been so so integral to his playlist ever since I started writing him and put it on there. you REALLY cannot know Liifa if you haven't listened to this song while rotating him in ur brain at least once.

Love Life: The Fall by half•alive

Oh, I'm just tryna introduce you, To this idea that I've grown used to. It's like sharing a dream with someone, Once you say it out loud it can't be undone.

he is AFRAID !! He's lived for god-damn-ever and yet he's still so anxious and hesitant any time he develops romantic feelings for someone!!

It's like waking up in surgery, I can't seem to see right past the lights, And I'm, so scared to take a knife to my chest, Let you see the heart that's inside.

He just wants to hide! Every time! He wants to hide but he's also so so glued to their side at the same time. The Fall holds a special place in my heart in relation to Liifa's love life because it always makes me think of how he, Ambrose, and Eliana all get together in my AU's with @forbiddenredjollyrancher ♥ !!

I'd jump off and into your arms, But I can't trust the fall. Take my voice, I'm giving it though I don't feel safe at all.

^ I wanna point out this part too! It's not that he's afraid of them, but more specifically how things could 'turn' in the future. He's already had one relationship (with Bjiattu) that turned sour once he felt content, and he's very much the type of person who gets nervous that things could turn sour again once he's comfortable and feels safely at home.

Luckily for him though, this little polycule is very, very cozy, comfortable, and permanent !! ♥ They also eventually add more to their lil polycule: Prism, Zayvis, Liott, and Haskell! Liott & Haskell both belong to Tres as well! There's also some 'branches,' but that's the central polycule at least! ^^ And yes, Liifa has this same fearful and anxious reaction to every new polycule member. Dude needs to be diagnosed with anxiety, ngl.

Fight Scene: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace

Liifa typically avoids physical confrontations if he can help it. But, when the need does arise, he tends to go... a little overboard. Courtesy of Ipos inhibiting his impulse control! :) They adore carnage and would like for Liifa to murder more kajhdsk

So what if you can see, The darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become.

^ this part of the chorus is perfect for his jaded years !! Just the "so what" says so much already!

Help me believe, It's not the real me. Somebody help me tame this animal.

^ and THIS part is great for more recent years! He's sick of it, he's tired, he wants to be soft and cozy and not have to deal with Ipos encouraging his worse impulses and pushing him to blindly murder people (again). There it is! Again! His determination to be good despite his setbacks!!

FanCam: Cherry Hill by Russ

It honestly took me a while to find a good song for this for him !! idk, it's got a vibe and the chorus hits for him in relation to ... well, literally anyone he's ever been in love with, lmao

Maybe I'm a fool, Maybe I'm a fool for you. You know what I'd do for you, I know what you'd do for me. You will see, The truth in me.

hopeless romantic of the CENTURY /positive

also, this isn't important but every time that I've tried to picture a fancam for him to figure what vibes I wanted the song for it to have,, without fail there'd be a part of him readjusting his hair, I'm certain of it. He's so vain and prideful in his appearance, his hair has GOT to be hella soft and it shows.

#SORRY ABOUT. THE FUCKING ESSAY LENGTH. I HOPE YOU ENJOY WHATEVER PARTS OF THIS YOU DO READ <3 <3 <3 #thank you so much for the ask !! <3 #c:Liifa #song stuff #<3*

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